#i actually like all parts of my body

[murobrown]

.

#it's that time of the month when I just want to sell my uterus on black market with human organs #the week leading up to my period is far more worse than the actual period #it made me gain 2 kg and I can't stop freaking out about it...i know i lose them every month but my brain won't leave me alone #it's making me want to starve myself or just work out until i collapse #tmi sorry...how is your Friday evening? #I'm bored and I'm deciding between going to bed before 11 pm or let my brain torture me a little bit more #I don't even think I'm excited about the weekend anymore because it means I'll have to eat again #you just eat and work out and eat and work out and try not think about the calories because we're not doing thay anymore #but deep down my brain still knows the numbers and won't let me go over 900 calories #i perfected my body but destroyed my head even more #i shouldn't say thay but maybe it's worth it #feeling happy in my own skin is the best feeling in the world #and I know I'm shallow because of that but for the first time in my life i like my body #i actually like all parts of my body #and knowing that i did it with all that hard work feels even better #but on the other hand now I'm just too scared I'm going to lose it all if I eat a cookie after lunch #i think I'm too deep into this #is it bad that I like the feeling of bones under my skin? #am I becoming delusional? #that's what a menstrual cycle does to a emotionally unstable woman #it makes me feel angry that out of four weeks in a month i get like max two weeks when I feel good and normal #all of that for nothing #anyway maybe it's time to stop myself..

[sneez]

conrad veidt would make a great tragedian i think

#pathologic #conrad veidt #artwork #scopophobia #id in alt text #if any of you actually benefit from IDs id be very grateful to know if you prefer them in the alt text or in the post body! #anyway :D HIM #this is caligari-era connie obviously. i was saying this the other day but later connie would be a great saburov i think #i cant decide if i prefer the idea of him playing every tragedian or him being a very obviously incongruous tragedian who has just painted #his face to look like a mask and is hoping nobody will notice #also please ignore that the lighting doesnt make sense on the second one i used reference images lit from two different angles and didnt #notice until i had rendered it out because i always flip my canvas so often and im too lazy to fix it #anyway (part 2) i am still on my conrad veidt autism explosion and i am having a great time. i am having so much fun. i love he #i hope you are all well too my friends! term just finished for me so i am back hoam :D yaaay

[treasureplcnet]

assorted bodies doodles (transcript of that messy relationship square under the cut due to my handwriting/incoherency)

TAKE THESE W A GRAIN OF SALT i am like 90% joking:

hillinghead -> hasan, and vice versa: immediate mutual respect

hillinghead -> whiteman: he's incredibly smart, deceptively cunning but very kind. but he is also so annoying oh my god--

hillinghead -> maplewood: "please someone explain science fiction to me"

whiteman -> iris, and vice versa: two friends secretly think of the other as the sidekick

whiteman -> hillinghead: annoying him is quickly becoming a favorite pasttime

whiteman -> hasan: will not admit it but he wants parenting tips from her

hasan -> whiteman: has slipped a parenting book to him

hasan -> maplewood: deja vu about their future weirds her out a little, but she trusts her

iris -> hillinghead: fond of him from the time they spoke in the prison. enjoys fucking with him

iris -> hasan: SHE'S THE GOAT

#re: while i like whiteman being a funny comic relief type character in this lineup (less comic relief and more witty and funny) #i do recognise that he's not rly like that in canon. much more cunning and able to blend into whatever situation he can #able to say the right things when he needs to (right after farrell dies) and deflecting of any real observations (with calloway) #its very chameleon like to the point of giving up a very integral part of his identity to safeguard himself-- #even though he cares very much about it (the way he reacts to antisemitic comments and his face drops when farrell mentions the synagogue) #now what is actually annoying to hillinghead is that he knows karl can actually be very gracious he's still choosing to fuck with him LOL #the annoyance spreads to iris too. i rly think iris-karl buddy cop duo could be so funny #i actually really need more fic or art of them all interacting . here's how bodies s2 can still happen. #bodies netflix #karl weissman #esther jankovsky #sharara hasan #alfred hillinghead #iris maplewood #and sorry to hillinghead who is not drawn well. kyle soller 1 treasureplcnet 0 #my art #and im not quite sure why theyre having breakfast tgt in that first comic. perhaps bc the original meme has them like that LOL

[katabay]

original thief series basso & garrett :)

ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels

there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.

anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

#if i had a laptop and the skillset i would attempt a story mod because the thief modders who create whole mission stories #are GENIUS and also somewhat terrifying. love them! xoxox #anyway im actually kind of obsessed with parts of thi4f but its also like. not at that sweet spot of almost good enough to be fun #to talk about. which. for the record. has not stopped me from talking about it at length to people #the city itself actually fucking fascinates me. its almost alive and im SO mad that not a single part of that game is actually terrifying #it should be gnarlier and instead it feels a bit like it doesn't quite want to be trapped in the story it has to tell? #but between the level that has the bodies on the meathooks #and the scene with the bodies hanging from the rafters or whatever that was and garrett living in a clock tower #because the game is very much ALMOST about changing times and authoritarian violence and capitalism #(like. by virtue of how the story sort of spins out i think it misses it's mark on a lot of stuff here #in the sense that i dont feel like it actually wants to tell that story. it wants to. go in a different direction. or at least walk on top #of those themes instead of through it) #ANYWAY between all of those things. it does kind of live in my head rent free. they did create a compelling setting #SHAME THEY DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF IT #unrelated but i would've given thi4f a 10/10 if they kept garrett's fucking nail polish from the concept art. cowards. unforgivable #thief the dark project #i still have no idea how to tag the game series as a whole RIP #sorry for the dedicated dark project fans. if you know what the general series tag is. please let me know #garrett thief #basso thief

[b4kuch1n]

siren

#bakuspecial #cw: nudity #cw: body horror #monster #siren! I think. they're bird to me #I think this has been brewing since that stream mim did of drawing dnd monsters only from official text description #and when the official art for the sirens were shown I was like. oh thats just a woman with wings #lmao like. granted. its an official dnd book available for all audience. you cant make it too Bad To Look At #(I do not agree with this but it wasnt about me. if its about me its gonna be about very few people lmao) #but yeah. after that I got slightly too into the idea of putting more bird into birdwoman #but I also do genuinely love monsters that are Rearranged Human Parts so. I couldnt commit too much to the bird scales Im so sorry #I wanted the fleshiness. the feel. textural experience of holding her hands and being like oh that's a human #even when ur eyes tell u otherwise. mmm #...I looked to my right as I was typing these tags and saw. the fucked up pikmin I tried to sculpt the other day along with the pin #and got startled #its so. its so fucked up. gods. dusty white naked grainy parsnip #I used to have that one doll I butchered wanting to customize in a box next to me and thats way less upsetting than this. man #its perfect actually I will never throw this thing away. anyways #now. now I go to bed. its sleep time for the baku #have a good night lads! you CAN have it both way easily you just need a big bat

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[3-aem]

MY BRAINS NOT WORKING AND THE CUTE BOY I WORK WITH KEEPS CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR THIS IS SO AHAIWIAKSDHDGRRRRHRNE

#dhakaksdjs fuckdwkufeisfjsjajsueei #im using a translator and it keeps outputting 您 instead of 你 and he keeps calling it out like bro ur making it awkward #AND IM LIKE SORRY I CANT ACTUALLY WRITE IN THIS LANGUAGE IM REALLY DU M. BB #also he offered to take over the last part bc i was like hi its almost 9pm here and i literally cannot think anymore #like i am certain its a very easy last part my brain is just finished #i feel so bad bc i wanted to push this proj over the line #this company is so intense i am so baby i am so tired #hugging my cat and rubbing my gross face all over his gross body #me in vc trying to figure out how to say: it was broken earlier idk how it was fixed u saw it was broke tho right #but all that came out was: in the past it was….problematic… *20 yr silence* #before he awkwardly went: um its okay i dont think this is necessary also u have lint issues #and i was just like ya….i know 😭 #its ambiguous to some of my teammates if i just dont understand them or if im fking dumb #its probably both im ngl #the blank stare i have on my face is first from trying to comprehend what the actual words they are saying mean #and then to comprehend what technical concept they are trying to convey #using like 50% of the information i managed to parse out #also im used to literally spending 30-40% of the working day talking smack #now i try to crack and joke and everyone is like three this isnt the time #three we are all gonna be hear past 9pm working this isnt the time

[bonetrousledbones]

this guy's really really fun to draw as fucked up as possible actually

#trousled arts #body horror // #sludge #atbb #papyrus #technically #undertale #technically ! #ahhh i'm obsessed w the lines on this actually. most expressive i've gotten it in a while #i like the face but tbh my favorite part is definitely the goop scarf. very spiky in a gelatinous way #focus on that do not look to close at his face its sick dont worry about it there's nothing much to see at all its fine its ok

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.” #and that made sense to me i think. #but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing. #and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much. #and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology. #i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now. #and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be?? #i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe. #will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore?? #maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know. #i don't know what it'll mean for me. #but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed. #because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people. #peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing. #there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing. #it's a product of all of his things. #just like me! just like everyone. #so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways. #a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be. #i don't think it's something that can be simplified. #sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags. #i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual. #sci speaks

[manitapaleta]

your style is amazing! i’d love to see your interpretation of the lark “we have to kill it” scene

hey it’s march (ask is from jan) and i am just now drawing this but u guys can’t get angry at me abt it bc it’s my birthday 😤😤

#dungeons and daddies #dndaddies #dndads #dndads s2 #dndaddies s2 #lark oak garcia #lark oak #henry oak garcia #henry oak #sparrow oak garcia #sparrow oak #my art #feel bad abt tagging them bc they’re not really in it but i know dndads fandom #if u obsessed with one oak ur obsessed with alla dem #noise filter with the tv static really doin all the work ngl #also did they ever mention lark throwing up black bile/doodler goo? idk. does it look cool and add to the horror of the scene? yes it do. #it looks fire no body better pull up the transcript and be like //well actually—// I DONT WANNA HEAR IT #LMAO IT WS A CREATIBE DECISION I WILL PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT PARTS OF CANON I WANNA FOLLOW #anyway…….my baby my baby you’re my baby as mitski said

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, you're being lied to about what fitness constitutes. If you can't work in an hour-long crossfit slog, but you can work in a five-minute walk, then that is still fitness. If you can't use your legs but you can do arm circles every now and again, that is still fitness. If you're moving around at work, that's still fitness. It can be intentional or incidental, but here's the best part: your body doesn't care if you're dedicating specific work-out times. It doesn't care if the "only" fitness it gets is your nine to five on your feet. It doesn't care, fitness is fitness is fitness. Some of us do it differently, but the end result is more or less similar.

If you can do any type of fitness safely, your body isn't going to care if you're doing it like an Olympic athlete or if you're just a casual.

#fitness #gentle reminders #i hate hate hate the idea that fitness must be done Intentionally and in a Hegemonic Way #like... fitness is whatever you make of it and whatever you do #your body isn't going to be like 'well you walked for fove minutes but you didn't do shoulder presses at the gym so it doesn't count 😊' #if you want more specific forms of fitness then SURE you might want to do more specific exercises and activities #but if your goal is overall movement for however much if your body then... you don't Need to be THAT specific #and your goals may be specific for only parts of your body and that's GREAT! #a wheelchair user may for example do more arm exercises so they can use a manual chair for instance... #...and to many people i've noticed they don't think it 'counts' because the chair user isn't using 'all' of their body... #...but it's like... using your arms in non-powered chairs can be really important so like. it's still fitness. #you don't actually have to equally focus on everything if you don't want to or can't #all this to say that fitness is Not hegemonic and you don't need to feel shame about what you do or don't do #even a tiny tiny TINY amount is significant and matters <3 #this is definitely something i've gotten more passionate about since becoming a ~gym bro~ #because you see just how different people are and what they want out of fitness #and it's taught me a lot more about my own disabilities and how i work with (and even against) them to find balance #this is what i love about those fitness video games too! because they're often made to be engaging and fun! #i LOVED just dance as a kid and that was fitness merging with video games (and i loved video games (still do!)) #and i HIGHLY recommend people get video games like just dance or that one nintendo ring game because of these elements! #it combines the comfort of home with movement with engaging music/story/video game elements #and things like that make me believe in peace and love and care on planet earth <<3

[cosmics-beings]

Drift making stickers, banners, shirts, just to make sure EVERYONE knows he’s the one responsible for the bitlets growing inside Ratchet (and his conjunx also growing grumpiness).

Drift, wearing a shirt: I’ve sparked my conjunx

Rodimus, wearing a shirt: my amica sparked his conjunx

Ratchet, unwillingly wearing a shirt: my conjunx sparked me

I want (and still plan to) draw this and even write this so bad. i wanted to draw it this week but my job got in the way T-T but I'm also saving this so i can draw them because them all in their T-Shirts would be so funny.

I can just imagine drift and rodimus being so damn chummy and laughing, and then ratchet is moping on the side. not only because he was forced to wear a shirt that basically screamed he got fucked side-ways, on the counter, on the floor, on the wall, etc., my drift, but he is so grumpy too. he is so damn grumpy like he has an attitude, the sparklings are probably gonna come out with one.

Like they take a family picture, especially for the sparkling shower, and it's ridiculous. I mean, Rodimus and Drift have a good time. Ratchet is a mixture of tired and stressed because he has a million surgeries to conduct--tho Drift won't let him do that. He wants his conjunx to rest.

also trivia but my dratchet sparklings actually don't look like ratchet. none of them look like him, they all favor drift at different stages in his life. however, they do actually have healing abilities. like they are outliers and all their outlier ability is to heal, though one's is to take life away with her touch. she becomes a doctor however and is as good as ratchet. Also adkjfaj Ratchet is still a doctor at that time.

Drift and Ratchet in my aus never actually stop having children so i cannot cap it. Like yeah we know in LL Ratchet dies but I've explained how he's still alive in my aus even after that and guess what...they go right back to having children. Ratchet always carries because in my aus personally, Drift has trauma with carrying because of things that happened in his past. He actually got his forge tank/valve removed. Originally, Rathcet wouldn't have cared to sire or anything, like he expected that's how it would be with he and Drift but Drift is very serious about being a sire.

#dratchet #rodimus prime #drift transformers #ratchet transformers #i think i've mentioned a gazillion times that like...starscream in my aus survives and uses part of his spark to revive Ratchet because #Ratchet is his personal doctor at the time - Starscream is also infected with the Talisman's abilities so he can do that #also i call drift my opposite starscream #if i went into it - drift's frame was viewed as being a good frame for carrier #and it's expected that his frame type carries #which was always an alternative for how he survived in the streets #and he hated that his body was percieved that way #whereas starscream is the opposite - seekers were created to sire #and thats what he was almost forced to do #and he hated it #the two of them are actually friends in all my aus and talk to each other about this a lot #in *ssssome* of my aus when drift gets his forge tank removed he actually gives it to starscream so that starscream can have that part #complicated i know

[ride-a-dromedary]

Alright, the jack in the box is wound, and the coherence is coming to me. Halsin and the dryad, I was talking about his response if the PC indicates that he is most comfortable after a supper large enough to induce hibernation:

"Mindless gorging...? No, that is not right. I did not realize you thought that of me."

And why this keeps catching in my mind is not necessarily what he says, but how he says it (so I am commending Dave Jones' voice acting here). The rest of Halsin's responses to incorrect answers are generally even toned and corrective; firm, usually, but not inherently overly emotional. Much like a teacher correcting a student. But this one...he sounds genuinely surprised and taken aback that the PC would even suggest that. The "no, that is not right" is even firmer on its heels. And the last part...the last part, his voice is smaller. Less forward. I would not go so far as to suggest hurt, but it is approaching that territory. It comes so fast after his firm no, that it almost sounds like something that slipped by accident. Like something that was meant to be muttered under the breath, but it slipped from him because the surprise was so organic.

Alone, it doesn't mean too much. It's a slight offense to an obviously nonfactual statement. And that's likely all it is. I'm about to read too deep into this, I am aware.

But combined with the other things spread throughout Halsin's dialogue, particularly the implication that he is otherwise used to people making commentary on his physical appearance or the physicality of his being, it suggests an extra layer of hurt. An extra layer of: "I did not expect this from you, of all people." Not quite a betrayal, but approaching one.

What makes it particularly catching, is that one of the things you are able to wrench (and I say wrench because getting Halsin to share mundane personal details about himself is a production - and it makes *sense* it's a production if a. We keep in mind that Halsin himself doesn't seem all too sure who he is beyond his preoccupation - which elves are prone to but Halsin also just has...a lot on his plate that have evidently stunted his identity formation - to the point where he even claims he was forgetting who he was, and b. If he is used to questions concerning himself and his experience leading into questions regarding his sex life or his physical activities, see: the companion banter with Wyll and Karlach, he likely...doesn't really keep ready details about himself personally on tap anymore. He's so unused to people being interested in Halsin, that he's taken aback when they are. It becomes the "In the moment, I forget everything and anything I like to do for fun" mentality - no one really cares about what I like to do anyway - if you will. He even goes so far as to joking that the PC may be a doppelganger because *why else would they want to know these things*) out of Halsin when you ask him about himself is that he has a sweet tooth. That he likes honey, and people find that amusing. He chuckles, but his face falls, evidently prepping for the PC to make a similar comment (and he attempts to beat you to the joke about that, though a PC can still call that "on the nose" to which he responds that there is little point in denying oneself if it doesn't hurt anybody - indulging isn't a bad thing). If the PC instead chooses that he should pay little attention to what others think, he gives that infamous: "sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt" line. Which implies - regardless of whether he verbalizes it or not - things in this thread hurt his feelings. Comments or assumptions about his body and his person hurt his feelings. He won't say it, but they do. The PC is likely aware of this by this point in the relationship.

Halsin does not otherwise bring up eating or food to any level of significance or directness - the sweet tooth comment was the only time (you could assume outside of canon interactions that they've had other conversations between them and that perhaps this was brought up, but we are going to base this solely in what Halsin reveals in canon). He brings up hibernation, but specifically the sleeping part of it. Nothing else.

So, the PC then potentially goes ahead and makes an assumption of him during the dryad. How'd they arrive at this conclusion, as it obviously surprises Halsin that they did? It reads, very much, that the PC is making this assumption based on the comment about his sweet tooth, his comment on indulgence, and his physicality (note: the ha ha bear and hibernation thing almost seems like an afterthought - Halsin latches *very* quickly onto the "mindless gorging" part). All things that he has shown very evident discomfort (which is ironic because the question is when he feels most comfortable) or hesitance towards (he claims there is nothing wrong with indulgence, but never seems to indulge himself beyond sex, if that. Gee, what does that remind you of?)

Halsin entrusted this individual with this information, as frivolous as it was, potentially revealed that it hurts his feelings when people make assumptions of him, and this individual then went used that information and made the assuming connection: "So, this is a big man. He said he liked sugar, so he must like to eat and indulge. It must be his favourite thing to do because look at him." I am going to essentially ignore everything else I could have possibly heard, and make a bear hibernation joke that has nothing to do with sleeping being a comfort, but emphasize the eating part.

So, yeah, he's a little taken aback - incredulous, you might say. A little hurt. Resigned, almost. Because at that point, you can make a very logical assumption that Halsin came to a very quick snap realization that perhaps this person was not so different from the others as he thought. That it always eventually comes back to that. What else was he expecting? When has it ever been any different for him?

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #does this make sense i don't think it does but it's like...jumping from a - z based on assumption and you know what they say about that #note: this isn't actually this deep i am just making it this deep - also yes i'm aware it probably means none of this #i have a degree in bullshit #but this is also why halsin should have had a legitimate bear like build of a body #i understand why he didn't - but this is *verbatim* what fat individuals receive as assumptions on their person #*all the time* that oh you must overindulge yourself you must eat a lot you must you MUST #and in that thread of thought of halsin's relationship with his body #there's also something to say when halsin says 'my ears are all yours...any part of me is yours should you wish it' #because he *begins* by offering his sympathy and understanding...but follows it up with 'but if i am more valuable to you in this way #then that's fine too - i'm used to that' #almost parallels (inadvertently) astarion's: #'i think i'll enjoy having halsin around not for his wit or wisdom he'll just make an excellent shield if we're attacked' #he's self aware #and in regards to how halsin sees his body as a separate entity - a. body dysmorphia and b. i don't think he truly does #halsin claims he sees his body as a vessel to serve nature and wrinkles his nose at vanity - but i feel there is enough old hurt in him #that this can never be true of him even is he so desperately wishes it was #does he have a level of confidence in himself? obviously he does - but it is marred - it's an exchange #there's always going to be that little voice in the back

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

post apocalypse au where the plot of stranger things doesn't happen but vecna still tears the world open and brings the upside down right side up. and the scattered people who managed to survive the initial earthquakes and power outages and complete breakdown of society have to contend not only with creatures from the upside down trying to eat them, but also with what the bleeding of an alternate dimension into their reality is doing to their bodies

people with prolonged exposure to larger tears seem to be slowly changed into something else, like some radioactivity from the dimension is mutating them. people grow claws, or leathery wings, or their face peels open, or they turn into unrecognisable piles of eldritch goo. there's vampires, were-demogorgons, flayed, weird ghosts, and the number of super powered people like el was in the show skyrockets

other people who manage avoid this fate shun those that fell to it. and to an extent it's reasonable, some people who get changed in this way completely lose their humanity, like the flayed, and while others retain it it probably doesn't seem that way when a vampire-like person needs human blood to survive. but a lot of people are just as terrified of the changes happening to them as other people are, and while they may not be harmless, they'd much rather use their new biological advantages to keep people safe

despite this, people that have been 'corroded' by the upside down are ostracised, feared, sometimes outright hunted by regular humans. so sometimes, they band together. form their own little apocalypse groups

eddie is in one of those groups. he wouldn't say he's the leader, bc they don't really have a hierarchical structure and eddie likes to think he's managed to maintain his anarchic ideals even in the face of the apocalypse. but he is the oldest, and the most scary looking (if not the most actually dangerous), so the combination of everyone being younger and his ability to scare off corroded-hunters that come looking for them means everyone else kind of follows his lead

so no one really questions when he comes back to camp one day holding two passed out humans. a mole-dotted man and a freckled woman, probably about eddie's age, who were injured and had crawled into a ruin building to die. and like. what was eddie supposed to do, leave them there??? no, gareth, it has nothing to do with how pretty the guy is. no, eddie doesn't know how they'll react when they wake up in the middle of a corroded camp, they'll cross that bridge when they get there. el says she senses that they're good people, so clearly everything will be fine actually!!!!!

#feel free to write this i feel like it requires a story beyond my scope of capabilities but i really love this idea #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #i haven't decided who i want to be corroded in this au and what their corrosions are #i think eddie's some eldritch looking fuck tho #i feel like dustin is part of the pack but he's not actually corroded and frankly he's a little salty about it #like maybe all the kids joined together bc they were all corroded and it somehow just missed him #and he's constantly trying to do science about them bc 'SOMEONE has to this is scientifically fascinating!!' #and eddie's like kid if i catch you taking notes while im eating ONE MORE TIME i swear to god i'll become a stereotype #also i came up with the word corroded bc i think it encompassed the body horror element i wanted more than 'mutated' did #and then i realised the corroded coffin pun and i was like. oh my god. im a genius. #also if it wasn't clear the humans are stobin #not to be separated even in cases of apocalypse and possible death #they realised they were bleeding too much and were probably gonna die and were like #at the same time huh? checks out. let's go find a hole

[spearxwind]

I've been thinking about how you've made Talas' physique even MORE powerful lately. And now I'm just imagining him, one-armed, chucking Graves like the world's angriest javelin at their common enemies.

That's genuinely so in character that I had to draw it. Average hunting tactic... and Graves would be all too excited for it, honestly

#in all seriousness honestly im really glad !! This is kind of what i always imagined talas would actually look like :] #i just wasnt confident enough to draw him like that initially but little by little ive gotten better at conveying his body type properly #and i genuinely want him to come across as strong as hell even besides the fact that hes big. like i wanna convey it in shape too #he literally kills huge sea monsters for a living as a day job and then kills the other people who hunt those monsters for fun #and hes banned from walking into any tavern unless he drops his whole paycheck at the counter as soon as he enters #he should simply look the part so im trying my best for that. i have to do him justice #anyway thank u i hope u enjoy this too. i was gonna draw graves just being chucked on their own but then i drew the harpoon #and i thought it was so hilarious to have them on that instead than chucked like a football (which would also happen) #but in said case they'd be less excited about it #if u read all of this also props to you heres a present. its fish (slaps you in the face with it) #windyart #ask #anon #scribble comic #talas #graves #challenger deep

[urloveangel]

what if… you’re not lazy, broken, wrong, not good enough, unmotivated, flaky, emotionless but your brain is still recovering from chronic stress and childhood trauma and is relearning how to regulate and sustain your serotonin and dopamine levels, and process your emotions and responses… WHAT IF

#realizing and processing stuff #like sometimes I still feel like I have to on purpose volume up what I actually feel internally to really feel it and #then show it externally #I don’t know how to explain it exactly #but it can be so uncomfortable but then that’s one of the ways I can relearn that it’s safe to feel and express these emotions….. #🙈 #there are so many aspects to it #motivation and drive to do things can be a struggle too #so often my mind and body Jusf want to go into the hiding shutdown freeze mode #it’s really all about creating safe space for myself and seeing myself and all the parts tjay want to hide #like actively seeing and supporting myself #and being my friend lover partner parent #❤️ #self healing #healing journey #trauma #mental health #stress #chronic stress #anxiety #depression #self love #self care #spirituality #inner child #mine #spiritual healing #energy work #inner work #surrender