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warmau · 3 years

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Love Struck!AU x SF9

lately i just need to write about every member of every kpop group being in capital L love. find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez | the boyz

youngbin

overcompensates with selfless acts that go above and beyond what any person deserves

offers to carry your bags, learns about plumbing when you mention you have a leaky faucet, asks if you want him to drive you to your appointments which you are perfectly fine getting to on your own

if there was a puddle of mud on the ground, youngbin would throw his brand new jacket over it just so you could walk over it

even though you could literally just. walk around it

doesn't even realize he's overdoing it

he just loves you and therefore knows he has to show it at any given part of the day

but not like in an aggressive manner

just a small smile and a "i can pick you up and drop you off if you want!"

dawon: actually, youngbin, we have practice at that tim-

youngbin, shoving a sandwich down dawon's throat: so you said noon right?

when you respectfully decline any of his help, mostly because you are worried you're using your friend for his kindness, everyone assures you that's not it

actually everyone is super confused how you haven't seen why it is weird that youngbin would commit hours of research for you when you ask offhandedly if you should visit europe for the summer and then show up at your door with ten pamphlets on different european destinations 'by chance'

because - that's weird - and weird means, in the great way of sf9, that he has a crush on you

"youngbin, you're being so nice to me these days how could i ever repay you?

youngbin about to say that there's nothing you need to do, he just likes being able to help

dawon, shoving a sandwich down youngbin's throat for revenge and also to answer on his leader's behalf: "actually, if you could finally go on a date with him - i think that would repay it."

you get all shy and murmur that you don't know if youngbin wants that, and youngbin can only vigorously nod that he does

(due to the sandwich)

inseong

no clue if puppy syndrome is a thing, but he's got it

the human embodiment of big puppy eyes whenever you're around, big puppy pout, big puppy wagging his tail at just the mention of your name

even without all that - the energy that exists around inseong when you are near him and giving him attention - it's enough to quite literally blow everyone and everything else away

and there are lasting effects

as in you walk away from the conversation and fifteen minutes later inseong still can't make out a single word, just chin on his palm - daydreamy look in his eyes

jaeyoon tries snapping his fingers in his face, tickling him, even flicking his best friend straight on the forehead but.

nothing.

the only way he breaks out of the spell you cast on him is either a long time passes or you show up again and inseong is back at your full attention

it's getting bad, like to a point where he walks into walls or drops his phone in the sink when he starts thinking about you

incidents where he nearly topples over onto poor chain who is like get off of me you are built like a skyscraper

or just flat out doesn't move a muscle in the right direction during practice and it's literally driving youngbin mad

so jaeyoon (like the best friend he is) arranges for you to come hang out with him but tada it's actually a candlelight dinner in the sf9 kitchen he and the rest of the boys set up for you and inseong

and you're like w....whats all this and inseong is like i don't know either

and jaeyoon (who like the best friend he is picked the nicest smelling candle from the tj maxx sale aisle) appears and lights it and is like this is for you two to confess and for inseong to be cured of puppyism

you: puppyism?

inseong, red as a tomato: i think he means like the way i act around you like a - um -

jaeyoon: like a lovesick puppy, so like....collar him or whatever

you and inseong both looking at him like do what? and jaeyoon is like sorry that didn't come out right

either way you get the point please date the oversized man whose brain wont work unless you give him a kiss

jaeyoon

opposite of his best friend, jaeyoon doesn't need to fall over his feet when he's lovestruck

he will literally just let you know how he feels

"i like you"

you smile at him and laugh, "i like you too!"

and jaeyoon is like amazing so we are both "liking" each other how lovely how nice

and that is....................where it ends

he literally is so preoccupied with the concept of confessing that he forgets the part where he has to like.

confirm the relationship

so for like a month after you are both just saying 'i like you' to each other and he thinks it's romantic and you still think it's platonic

it's a mess

he keeps asking himself when the right time to ask you to go to the movies with him is, if he should pull out the home cooking - why haven't you pulled out the home cooking? do you not "like" him enough for that?

he paces around before you come over because is he dressed too casual - i mean he's your boyfriend, he should put effort into it right?

and then you show up and nothing is different and everything is the same and when inseong is like

jaeyoon you're dating them right, why don't you guys like kiss? and jaeyoon is like holy shit i haven't even thought about that yet

and dawon is like how have you not thought about that kissing is all i think about ever

and so jaeyoon's head gets even more scrambled because now you come over and he's like ..... kiss......lips......mouth...hand? kiss on mouth...hand...lips.....hug?

and you're like what? and he's like hug lips mouth? and you're like jaeyoon are you ok?

oh my god at some point you're both alone and jaeyoon is walking you home or something and he reaches out to grab your hand because like that's normal right? people dating do that right?

and you're like oh! and he's like is this ok? and you're like a-does it mean something?

and jaeyoon is like it means the same thing as i like you....you know....like how i said it a month ago and i just thought we could take the next step-

he's rubbing his neck and blushing and he has always been sauve and straightforward and it dawns on you that the entirety of this month he has been saying he likes you like in that way

and you're like wait you like-love me? and he's like yes wait what did you think- and you're like i thought it was like-like ....like friend like?

you and jaeyoon just staring at each other and then he's like should i let go of your hand then

and you're like no. actually just kiss me we've wasted a LITERAL month

dawon

always the class clown, being lovestruck somehow only tends to make it worse

but not worse like oh he gets louder and cracks more jokes.

my man has upgraded to mildly dangerous body humor.

you are all together and dawon is suddenly like you guys think i can climb that uneven, rickety tree? and youngbin is like no and you're like no but dawon is like it'll be fun just watch

dawon: should i drink spoiled milk

you: why-

dawon: im hardcore it'll be fine - look im just a goofy guy who - oh my god. call an ambulance.

the idea is that every time you are in the vicinity and glowing like an angel without a halo dawon is like

gotta do something so outrageously stupid that it grabs their attention and/or lands me in a situation where i can excuse myself to run away from my feelings. perfect.

it's literally the dumbest logic on the planet

everyone tells him it's the dumbest logic on the planet

but dawon is convinced it's the best reaction to....to the butterflies in his stomach

of course, you don't find any of it amusing, you are just in a constant state of worry

one time dawon takes it too far and probably tries to do something that could actually seriously hurt him

and you stop him by grabbing him and being like stop - i don't know why you don't care about yourself but i care about you so stop being stupid

and dawon is staring down at you like

"pause, you care about me? like on a scale of 1-10 how muc-"

you kiss him and mutter a "11" and dawon thinks he sees stars

youngbin thanking you profusely like we were worried for his actual literal life

zuho

rather scream into the void than confront how he feels about you

the private twitter account is blowing up with tweets about how he wants to hold your hand and how that makes him pathetic

dawon replying under each of them: tru

rowoon replying under each of them: not true!!!!! love is awesome!!!! pog as chani would say!!!!!!

you talk to him about something and his ears are full of white noise and he cant help but think about how your face is somehow the most beautiful thing he's ever seen and how he could write a whole album about the curve of your nose and the color of your eyes and -

you ask him what he thinks and he can only reply with a sound that is both pained and high pitched and when you raise your eyebrow he's like gtg uh feed my cats

when you're around he disappears to "feed his cats" like . ten times

surprisingly being a lovestruck fool does fuel his ability to make music

but it is also sad and about being heartbroken and the members are like hey do you wanna talk about it and zuho is like no

there are spotify playlists with your name, there are journal entries about you, there are iPhone notes app scribbles about you

he's down bad

everyone knows he's down bad

you also figure out he's down bad and so you finally confront him

except you're like......... zuho who are you in love with? ill help you if i can

and he looks at you like a deer in headlights because that's the most bizarre shit you could ask him

and because of the shock he blurts out the truth

"you. i love you."

screams after and you jump up and he's like i need to leave and you're like AT LEAST LET ME SAY IT BACK?????

rowoon

it's the cluelessism of it all

he looks at you one day and instead of just being a person you are beaming at him like a direct sunray and he's like woah! weird!

he just kind of becomes more clumsy around you since you've got this new effect on him

trips over his big feet, giggles randomly while you're talking, forgets he's in the middle of the street when you're walking by his side and someone has to honk three times for him to start walking again

honestly no one can tell what's wrong with him

because is he like ... is it early onset amnesia? is he just spacing out?

even chani notices the shift because rowoon has gone from annoying him to laying half off the couch with his hand in an empty pringles can

"what are you thinking about?"

rowoon just mutters your name and chani is like .... i don't know about all this but maybe you like them?

reality hits rowoon like a freight truck .... liking you? that's new

he googles 'what to do when you like someone?' literally googles it

tries to show you by playing it cool, tries to show you by showering you in random compliments but he's tongue tied when you smile so he's like i love your hair it looks like. cheese

embarrasses himself over and over and over until he just hunches himself over one day and is like

why is liking someone so hard? isn't it supposed to be easy?

and you're like haha i know the feeling, ive liked someone for so long but he never takes a hint and rowoon is like omg who

and you look at him and you're like well he's a tall clueless handsome guy

and rowoon stares at you like he sounds nice

and you're like you

and he's like oh that's nice - WAIT

taeyang

flirts with you but it flops because he's been flirting with you since you first met

so you cannot tell the difference and taeyang is like what am i doing wrong

inseong: karma for always winking and calling them cute when now you want them to do it back to you

taeyang: shuttup sad old man

inseong: you've been hanging out too much with chani. sniffle

he decides ok so regular flirting doesn't work, so what about lowkey flexing?

he wears the expensive watch and puts his hand in front of you like, hey and you're like hi? and he's like notice anything? and you're like .... um..... oh, your tag is sticking out of your shirt! and taeyang is like .........F

ok so not flexing, what about compliments?

he piles like ten of them on you and you're like oh - thanks, but i don't really like this outfit anyway and he's like....F

ok so not flexing, compliments, let's try playing hard to get

he gives you the cold shoulder when you come over and you immediately are like taeyang are you mad at me if you are im sorry so stop being a weirdo and he's like........F

finally he just reverts to himself and just keeps up the regular flirting and the soft touches and smiles

and he realizes the difference now is when he flirts - he just has to follow up on it

so when he asks " i cant taste my lips, can you do it for me?"

and you reply with "sure" and roll your eyes

he just . does kiss you and you're like oh.

and he's like well what do you say and you're like your lips taste sweet and he's like NO I MEAN-

you just kiss him again because now you get what he actually means LOL

hwiyoung

sulks when you're not around, and then doesn't go near you when you are around

it's like please make up your mind

is the definition of if i stare at you long enough you will fall in love with me right?

but he stares from ten feet away

it takes everyone all their strength to drag him out of his room when you're over and even then he puts his hoodie up and plays with his shoelaces and acts like he's a five year old

when he gets put next to you in the car ride somewhere he almost passes out from holding his breath from nervousness and you turn to him and you're like hwi you're turning purple?!?!?

you tap his shoulder when he isn't looking and call him hwi~ and he thinks his knees like. give out he crumbles to the floor and you're like oh my god are you sick??!?!!?

to put it simply, being in love forces him to lose his human ability to live

gets a pep talk from literally every member about how he cannot act like this. it's giving you the wrong impression and yet he just

he can't do anything about it you enter his personal space and the little nerves in his brain go haywire

"i don't want them to think im being rude, but it's kind of like im allergic to them."

"oh - you're allergic to me?"

hwiyoung turns and you're giving him a look and he's like oh god i mean - i don't - i mean like -

and he doesn't know what to say but you just giggle and you're like "fine, if you're allergic we'll have to make immune"

and he's like blinking like wha-

you wrap your hands around him and he's like !!!! and you're like here just take me in large doses until you build up immunity ok?

hwiyoung nodding because he has forgotten the entirety of the korean language

chani

realizes he's being freaking weird when he bails on his plans to eat and game to hang out with you

prioritizing social interaction over being alone in his room......now that's not normal

yes, ok, so he likes you - but now he's like

no one can ever know that. i will not be left alone if anyone finds out.

unfortunately, he asks jaeyoon of all people if he knows what food you like and jaeyoon is like

OH YOU WANNA ASK THEM ON A DATE RIGHT SO YOU WANNA LOOK UP RESTAURANTS WITH THAT FOOD RIGHT?

chani standing in the doorway like. what. no....

the minute chani starts picking the spot next to you when you're all together is his downfall

the entire world knows how he feels and he's like oh fuck seriously

he helps you go shopping and he comes home and every member is just like :) tell us about the date :)

and he's like SHUTTUP

calls you by a nickname and rowoon almost chokes on his food in surprise, because chani?????? gave someone???? a nickname????? and it isn't a combination of the word ass and hole?????

he cannot escape the fact that little things for others, are big things for him

being attentive and caring and even just smiling in your presence is enough to give away how he's feeling

let alone he dropped a rank in league so everyone is like ah - he's distracted with someone~!

it gets unbearable to a point where chani is like i cant live with these people always bothering me so im just going to confess

he pulls you aside and is like "i want to date you - is that ok?" and you're like of course, was wondering when you'd ask dummy and he's like,,,,,,listen,,,,

assumes the teasing will die down when you both come into the room holding hands

BUT OH IS HE WRONG

inseong: i got dibs on being the wedding planner, eat dirt youngbin

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jj-ktae · 5 years

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Erotica - Epilogue - (M)

Pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader Genre: SMUT Summary: You’re a rookie porn actress on the rise and everything goes well until you get offered a role in a big-budget porn movie, starring the most famous actor in the porn industry. Words: 2515 Warning: Read at your own risk Erotica was banned from the Tumblr search engine so it appears nowhere no matter which tags I use and you can only find it in my masterlist or in your dashboard. Might as well link the previous chapters and my masterlist here lol

MASTERLIST

- Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Epilogue -

Epilogue

Im Jaebum is funny.

You wouldn’t be able to explain the past two years without wailing. He has one or two flaws, most of them involving his laziness but nothing out of the ordinary.

It’s like he was made for you.

Today is the last day of his career. Jaebum has an interview for one of these magazines you always refused to appear in and he will be done with porn forever. It’s a day to celebrate, not only because you’re both out of the porn industry, but also because it’s the beginning of a new life.  Erotica made you earn a lot of money and allowed Jaebum to invest into an old building to transform it into an apartment complex.

So naturally, he left this job after months of struggling with the idea of dating someone who regularly has sex with other people. It was hard for Jaebum, but he had no other choice.

It’s the first serious talk you both had, right after your first official night as a couple. You ended up accepting the fact that he had to keep working until the end of his contract, just like he had to accept the fact that you too, had other things planned before quitting.

You found yourself stopping before he did and started looking for another job, while he filmed his last movies as JB the porn star.

Tonight is a celebration yet Jaebum insisted on staying home and enjoy a peaceful night together. He brought food and wine, along with a pretty necklace that he insisted you should wear every minute of your life.

Your stomach is still full as you’re lying flat on your bed. It’s a hot summer day and not even the cool breeze is enough to electrify your moist body. You’re somehow lost in your thoughts, from the stress coming along with your new job to the relationship you’ve spent month building with Jaebum.

Said Jaebum aims for your attention when he sees you all spaced out, visibly full of food and ready to doze off.

He refuses to blame your hazy state on the slow sex you both just had.

“What are you thinking about?” He takes in the sight of your naked body, hand pressing against your burning skin as he leans a little bit to rest his head over your body. He finds shelter near your hipbone where he nibs at the skin before blowing cool air over it. “You look so serious.”

Jaebum isn’t used to you being so unaware of your surroundings. You’re so cautious of everything you do to forget about everything else but now you seem unfocused, not even bothered by the fact that he is drawing tiny patterns on your thigh.

“My tummy’s about to burst.”

He chuckles, biting at the tiny bulge under your navel. “You ate so well…” he mocks, kissing the spot when you start wriggling, falsely annoyed.  “Seriously though, I was thinking about you.” You add, barely lifting your head to meet his questioning gaze. He rests atop of your hip bone, body leaning sideways and arm around your naked waist.

Jaebum even looks pleased, his teasing smile replaced with an expectant gaze. “And what about me?”

You sigh, moving your free leg so it would reach a cooler part of the bedding. “I was thinking about how crazy it is that we ended up dating when we were both porn actors.” You shift a little when Jaebum nods, his chin tickling your skin.

He muses, eyes reaching for the roof as a sign of his reflection. “I think it makes sense. I don’t think anyone can accept that job, let alone introduce a porn actor to their parents.”

“Your parents know.” You scoff. Even his family is chill.

He shrugs, mouth going to your stomach to kiss it. “My parents are supportive, that’s all.” He waits a moment, before lifting his head again. “Not that your mother isn’t, of course.”

You chuckle, nodding. “My mother would have a heart attack. At least I’m really working as a waitress, now.”

Jaebum coughs, moving on the mattress so he can finally reach your level before grabbing your leg to circle it around his naked waist. “Speaking of which, are you sure you want to work as a waitress?”

He has that tone you only hear when something upsets him. Jaebum barely gets mad and even if he does, it starts slowly, like a warning before the actual storm.

But as he nudges you to press his face against your neck, he sighs. “I’m worried about people recognising you and annoying you.”

“Babe I was a porn actress, not Angelina Jolie.” You try to mock him but he doesn’t buy your shit and tightens his hold instead.

“It’s worse. They might think you’re easy or some shit like that.” His hand goes to your side to tickle you and you giggle, leg kicking his butt. “I’ll have to come and check on you every night.” He sounds so dramatic, but his smile can’t be missed. “I’ll be careful.”

“You could be my secretary instead. That way, we can live a real-life porn. ‘Hot secretary fucks angry boss in his office’.” Jaebum laughs when you make a funny face, yet goes back on serious mode, arm tightening your leg around him and it’s starting to be too pleasing to focus on whatever he is saying.

You sigh when he rolls his hips, his flesh rubbing against you. “Seriously though, I’m not fond of this idea…” he trails off, voice laced with a craving you could never get enough of.

You can’t help but whimper, lips parting as you shift toward his chest and breast finding shelter against his broad body. “I never pegged you as the possessive type,” you reach for his neck, bringing him closer until his breath fans your face, hurried. “You didn’t seem to care until I ended my contract with my agency.”

Jaebum hums, the probability of a serious conversation out the window if his growing erection is anything to go by. He rolls his eyes, “Porn is porn, nightlife is different.” His position changes just enough for him to lean and still a short kiss. “Now that we’re both out of this, I don’t plan on sharing you, rookie.”

You tap his shoulder lightly, the sound of your hand slapping his skin stronger than the actual damage it caused. “Stop calling me rookie!”

Your boyfriend choses to stay silent, leaving you expectant as he pushes you onto your back. “Anyways, don’t get mad at me for being petty about you being molested in a bar in the middle of the night.” Before you can protest he plunges, aiming for your collarbone which he attacks vividly. His teeth graze upon the hidden bone, drawing shivers and goose bumps all over your body. He snickers in the middle of silence. “I’ll have to beat up the pervs.”

You wriggle against the sheets, laughter mixed with pleasure as he darts his tongue to trail a path down your chest. “So virile…” you sigh, earning a hidden shrug from a busy Jaebum.

“Yeah?” He smooches your warm skin, liking how unforgiving he sounds.

It’s cute in a way. Jaebum never had to show anything but acceptance toward your job, considering he was still a porn actor himself. Maybe he had it harder than you thought. You understand him though; it’s not cool to greet your boyfriend when he was banging another girl the same day.

“I don’t think I’ll ever have enough of you, rookie…” He whispers and slides on the bed, head back on your stomach and creating messy patterns over your skin. You almost break right there, the confession unusual but not unpleasant.

Jaebum never imagined he could have such stamina. His sexual life was close to non-existent before he met you and his physical interactions were limited to the scenes he filmed in the studio. It had ruined his personal life with such ease, turning sex into a duty rather than a necessity and killing his hormones with a slow and numb burn. When he started filming with you and felt the tingling sensation again, he understood right away.

He couldn’t thank you enough for sticking around and waking him up from his creepy slumber made of daddy kinks and choking in front of cameras. Thanks to you he built up the courage to start his project and stop his career, turning him into more than a guy who has sex for money. He is such a bad actor anyways.

DVDs and CDs are neat into your shared apartment, like a silent memory of something none of you regret doing. Yet it doesn’t mean he will ever miss it.

You forget about whatever names he called you when he reaches your pubis, mouth watering and dropping tiny patches of saliva over the heated flesh.

You almost knock your head against the wall when the first lick falls. It’s insistent and slow, devastating in the sea of your needs as Jaebum knows exactly what pace to use to make you crazy.

It’s something you discovered with time. Jaebum is into slow and deep thrusts, soft doggie style, lazy morning sex and it’s a mixture of finesse and bestiality, along with loving words. He is comfortable for he isn’t disturbed by nudity, can say whatever he wants without sounding creepy and barely has any requirements when it comes to sex.

He welcomes all your faults and imperfections the same way you do and none of you bother with petty fights, the words too heavy to question a future you both want. Jaebum has that honesty which leaves little room for misunderstanding. He confessed the same night he brought you to his flat yet didn’t force anything on you.

And you love him just that way.

You gasp when he grabs your ankles and bends your legs, nestling them on either side of your body to reveal more of you. He barely goes wild and you suspect he is trying to prove a point but your brain shuts down when his tongue probes at your opening, teasing just enough to collect wetness and smear it over your folds. You glance down to peek at the beautiful scene but Jaebum is already looking at you, pleased by your bewildered face and flustered cheeks.

He dips down a second time, eyes darkening and tongue out to lap every engorged part of your pussy. He stops just long enough to show you how he licks his lips and goes down again, head shaking from right to left and making you roll your pelvis against his restless mouth.

You still gather yourself to make fun of him. “Are we…filming…again…?” It’s hard to speak between moans yet your voice is loud and clear, breathless. Jaebum doesn’t like your teasing and attacks you even harder, the hint of a smirk hardly hidden behind his brown locks. He even hums teasingly, the vibration of his deep sounds shaking your flesh.  He doesn’t slow down even when your orgasm hits. You jerk away from his mouth, moaning and grunting but he keeps you in place until you can only shake. It burns your body from every pore, mixing with your blood like a shot of strong alcohol and making your vision blind with pleasure. You complain and beg for him to stop and he only releases you when you freeze from the overstimulation, unable to function anymore.

You shake your head, a false accusation painting your exhausted features as you glance at a smiling Jaebum whose hand is wiping the remains of your climax from his smiling and reddish lips  Your legs fall, lifeless on the bed but you can’t let him suffer. His penis is hard and threatening, the bulbous head a deep shade of red and length swollen by the numerous veins.

He pumps himself slowly, tilting his head to the side. He raises one eyebrow. “You okay?” he rasps.

You nod, deciding to play along with his celebration sex and rolling on your stomach. You raise your butt just enough for him to grab it and rub himself between your asscheeks, grunting.

“You’re so beautiful…” He whispers, free hand running along your curves and stopping by your drenched pussy to play with your clit. “So damn beautiful…”

He penetrates you slowly, his willpower winning the inner battle of his arousal against his brain. You breathe out, searching for air and dipping your head into the pillow.

“Come here.”

Jaebum commands, already reaching for your body so you can lean against him. He sticks your bodies and starts moving his hips, penis sliding deep inside you.

He finds a good pace right away, from the tip of his dick poking out to the base hitting your asscheeks, Jaebum knows how to burry himself inside you. It feels amazing, the pressure from the position and your needy moans lulling him toward an orgasm he can call his own private pleasure.

He is infatuated the way you mould with him. He loves pinching the tender skin of your nipple as his hand cups your perfect breast, he enjoys the way your head finds its home into the crook of his neck and he can’t stop himself from tilting your head steal numerous kisses.

You open your mouth eagerly, tongue out to play against his own in a carnivorous embrace. He bites and sucks on your lips, his sighs spilling from his parted lips whenever the tip of his cock hits a specific spot inside you.

You arch until your back hurts, looking for more stimulation and nearing your second orgasm. Jaebum is struggling, you can feel it from the way his abs tense behind you. He is all stiff, all ready to fill you up yet not giving in.

You know his body language by heart.

You collapse against him when a second wave of pleasure hits you. It breaks your bones and destroys your muscles, leaving your lifeless against a panting Jaebum who can only suffer from the contractions around him. The waves of pleasure hit you as much as they hit him, sending you both into another universe.

He allows himself to cum right when you’re done and he is satisfied with the pleasure he gave you. You’re nothing but a dead weight against his chest, eyes closed and smile smug as you giggle to yourself because your brain is messed up and you can’t think straight.

You still wonder how can someone be so skilled at sex.

Jaebum lets you rest on the bed, not the least bothered by the mess he creates when he pulls out of you.

Instead he wraps you around him again, hugging you close and kissing your nose.

“This is what I call a celebration, rookie. Who needs Erotica when I have you all to myself?” He muses, fingers rubbing against your cheekbones while he pecks you once more.

You giggle, head shaking at this boy’s antics. He can be such a dork.

“The pleasure is mutual.”

AN : Erotica is officially over! Thank you all so much for following this series (I see you, naughty readers). I’m sad that it’s over and I’m going to miss Porn actor Jaebum but Priest Jinyoung is waiting for me so I’m off to new adventures ! Thank you for the support and love you sent me through this series, I love yall!

#Jaebeom #jaebum #im jaebum #im jaebeom #im jaeboem #got7 jaebum #jaebum got7 #im jaebum got7 #jaebum x reader #why do I even tag this #lol enjoy #thx again for reading!#jaebum au #jaebum smut

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lgbtyrus · 6 years

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TJ’s Playlist Chapter 6

Story Summary: When Cyrus finds a playlist on TJ’s desktop full of old love songs, he realizes that TJ has never been a scary basketball guy but rather a huge sap. TJ just wished Cyrus could realize that all of those songs remind him of a certain boy who likes chocolate chocolate chip muffins without telling him directly.

With insecurities and fears almost set in stone, it’s hard for TJ to admit that he has a heart aching crush on Cyrus who is trying to avoid just that. Of course, it doesn’t seem like both of them are trying to get over each other when they’re always together.

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Words: 4252

Warning: angst, they cuss now

Cyrus found himself still lying awake in his dark room. His blanket had been thrown to the side, and he was sweating. He made his way to his restroom, and when he was washing his hands, he looked up at his mirror. He looked exhausted. He had told TJ goodnight and his intentions were to fall asleep right away like he had for the last few years. It was a gift Andi and Buffy always told him that they envied.

Only he couldn’t.

He kept thinking about his conversation with Buffy and wondered if there was anything that they had done that made her ask that question. What had put the idea in her head?

The only thing that drove him crazier was that he couldn’t get the idea out of his head. When had put the polaroid of him and TJ in his journal, he doodled a heart on the side without thinking. He quickly turned it into a shaded in circle and shut his journal.

He didn’t want to like TJ. He couldn’t like TJ. He didn’t want to be feeling all those butterflies and how his cheeks managed to feel hotter around him even though it was already 90 degrees outside. TJ was the human version of the sun to him, and it was getting harder to look at him. Cyrus couldn’t help but notice the few freckles that dotted his nose. Green was becoming a prettier color to him, and he didn’t want to know if it was because that was the color of TJ’s eyes. Their height difference was becoming a lot more noticeable to him, too. Thinking about their height difference killed him. It was when he wondered if he’d have to stand on his tippy toes to kiss him.

He would do absolutely anything to stop thinking about TJ.

Only it was getting harder.

It was kind of starting to hurt, too. It was the same longing he felt in his chest when he saw Jonah. His obstacle from being with Jonah was Andi and the probable fact that Jonah didn’t like boys. His obstacle with being TJ was simply that he didn’t like boys- making it easier to lose their friendship. If Jonah had found out, he was probably going to say “oh sorry” and then proceed to still be friends with him because of the Good Hair Crew.

If TJ found out, Cyrus had already built 22 different scenarios of it going horribly wrong. Only one of them included a “Sorry, Cyrus. I don’t like guys. But let’s still be friends.” Only, they didn’t ever speak again after that. Cyrus felt like he was driving himself mad thinking of it.

Cyrus made his way back into his room and threw himself at his bed. He hadn’t checked the time in a while, so he unplugged his phone from the charger on his bedside table. He let out a sigh as he realized it was 2:02AM. He felt curse. He had never stayed up for no reason, not even when he liked Iris or Jonah. If anything, he wanted to go to sleep to avoid the fact that he didn’t like kissing Iris as cool as she was. He wanted to fall asleep so that he could dream of another world where Jonah liked him.

But now all he could do is stay away and live in the world where TJ Kippen didn’t like him.

Cyrus shut his eyes once more, his phone gripped in his hand. He tried to fall asleep, and he knew it wasn't working. He slightly picked his head up and slammed it back down repeatedly on his pillow, hoping it'd be enough to take him out. It didn't work.

He began thinking about TJ again as he gave up and lay there. He thought about how he was actually putting in a lot more effort into his math. It made him smile.

Then he remembered.

Cyrus: Hey TJ r u awake?

In less than a minute, there was a response on his phone.

TJ: Yes but u shouldnt be

Cyrus: i can't sleep

TJ: why not?

Because of you!

Cyrus: honestly im not sure. i just have a lot of things running through my mind

You.

TJ: Do you want to talk about it?

Cyrus: I don't think so. I don't even know y i texted u in the first place tbh. sorry

TJ: youre good. i dont fall asleep until like 4am

Cyrus: oh man thats too late kgfdjgfdg

TJ: lmao i didnt think youd ever fall asleep past 10

Cyrus: i never do. i have a strict need for at least 7 hrs of sleep or ill die

TJ: looks like ur gonna die

Cyrus: please release a white dove at my funeral. make it two so it won't be lonely. Im being honest rn. im chugging a gallon of coffee tomorrow i swear. how do u do it everyday

TJ: I don't have a choice most of the time lmao. i just deal with it and let it slowly try to kill me

Cyrus: so u havent died bc you're a vampire?

TJ: u can say that. Hey can I call you instead? Im lazy

Cyrus: ye

“No,” Cyrus groaned. Hearing his voice was going to make everything feel worse. His phone started buzzing and he quickly answered it. He had never been happier about having soundproof walls. He didn’t want his parents asking what he was doing up so late talking to TJ.

“Hey,” TJ mumbled. Cyrus thought his sleepy voice was going to knock him out cold right then and right there.

“Hey, vampire,” Cyrus teased, making TJ chuckled in response.

“You sound awfully happy.”

“I’d be happier if I was asleep but I guess a late night conversation with my good pal TJ won’t kill me.”

“I’m starting to wonder if you really made up with Buffy,” TJ hummed. His voice was groggy yet Cyrus ate up every single one of his words. This was definitely a bad decision. “Did you?”

“I did,” Cyrus sighed. He was starting to wonder if he should tell him the real reason he couldn’t sleep. No. Then I’d have to tell him the idea of us liking each other is keeping me awake. But…. I don’t like him so it wouldn’t matter would it?

“We’re all cool right? I was wondering if she wanted to get her girl team to practice with mine.”

Cyrus grinned, “That’s actually be great. You should talk to her about it. I swear she’s not angry.”

“Why was she acting up with you then?”

“Stupid reasons. She admitted it herself. She’s scared of… something.”

“Buffy? Scared?” TJ scoffed. “Of what? Her reflection?” TJ paused and then said, “Sorry, that was mean.” Cyrus ended up laughing.

“No, it’s fine. She’s more worried you can say.”

“Of what?”

Of us falling in love, getting married, adopting kids, and living next door to her.

“Of us getting closer I guess.”

“So, she’s jealous?” TJ asked. Cyrus stopped himself for a moment. He hadn’t thought about it that way. He did make it clear he’d never pick anyone over her and Andi, though. He wouldn’t.

“Well we cleared it up, so I don’t think so.”

“Did she,” TJ hummed for a moment, “say anything else?” Cyrus raised an eyebrow. Did TJ know something else?

“Why are you asking?”

“Um…. Just curious.”

“You sure?”

“Well,” TJ added hesitantly. “I don’t know. I guess Amber and Buffy talked.”

“Buffy and Amber? Like my Buffy?”

“No, Buffy Summers. Yes, your Buffy,” TJ chuckled. “I guess that Amber showed her that photo where we both fell asleep and um,” TJ’s voice got lower, “I think that’s why she started acting up. Acting up is the right phrase to use but it’s 2AM. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Cyrus barely managed to say. His heart was beating fast and he was filling up with dread. Did TJ know exactly what Buffy was thinking?

“But did she say anything weird?” TJ asked again. Cyrus realized there were only 22 ways this could go wrong, and then chances of triggering one wasn’t that high. He was also half asleep and his “fuck it” senses were quite activated.

“By weird do you mean her asking me a million times about the idea of us dating?” Cyrus quickly spit out, hoping TJ might miss the word ‘dating’. There was a moment of complete silence for almost twenty seconds. Cyrus palms were feeling sweaty, so he put his phone on speaker and lay it on the pillow next to him.

“Yeah, that,” TJ finally said. “I think it was because of Amber, to be honest.”

“I mean everything makes sense, now,” Cyrus replied. “I was getting worried about some dumb stuff. I think that’s why I couldn’t sleep.” He felt a lot more relieved. So he and TJ hasn’t done something that made it seem like they had “more than friends” intentions. It was just a conversation between Buffy and Amber that sparked something in Buffy.

“So you do know why you can’t sleep,” TJ told him, discarding the dating topic.

“Well, kind of. I mean Buffy and I actually fought over this. We never fight.”

“Just because her and Amber conspired that we liked each other?” TJ scoffed. “They do know that will never happen right?” Those words seemed to chew right through Cyrus’ heart strings.

“Yeah… yeah,” Cyrus cleared his throat. “I mean we fixed it. She realized she was being dumb. She admitted it, too.”

“Did she apologize?”

“No. I don’t expect her to. It’s Buffy.”

“It’s Buffy isn’t a good excuse, Underdog. If I drain the blood out of a kindergartner, nobody is going to say, ‘Well, it’s just TJ.’ Are they?”

“One, they’re totally different. Two, one of them is completely unrealistic.” He wished TJ wasn’t so blunt sometimes. It made him come face to face with the feelings and thoughts he always shoved in the back of his head.

“Buffy apologizing every once in a while shouldn’t be unrealistic.”

“Well,” Cyrus sighed. “I don’t feel like she owes me an apology, okay?”

“If you’re comfortable with lying to yourself, sure.”

“I’m so comfortable with lying to myself, I’d convince myself that I love myself.”

“Self-deprecating humor, huh. Nice”

“Thanks. It’s a specialty. My brain is full of it.”

“That’s nice. My brain is full of useless facts.”

“Like what?”

“Like a cat named Stubbs was the mayor of Alaska from 1997 until his death.

“TJ, I know I don’t cuss, but literally. What the fuck,” Cyrus softly chuckled, causing TJ to erupt with laughter. Cyrus rarely heard TJ laugh like this, but it was music to his ears. He really did hate the way TJ made him feel like he was floating on the clouds. He was starting to get sleepy now.

“I can’t remember how to do long division, but I honestly can remember the dumbest things,” TJ said, starting to mumble again. “Hey, Underdog. Have you started reading The Giver yet?”

“No,” Cyrus yawned. “We don’t need to be up to chapter five until Friday.”

“Want me to read it to you until you fall asleep? You sound like you’re going to pass out any minute now.”

“But then I won’t remember where I was before I fell asleep,” Cyrus moaned.

“Don’t argue. I’m already getting my book,” TJ told him. Cyrus could hear TJ shuffling around the bedroom. “Alright. Chapter one…” TJ read to him for what felt twenty minutes before he couldn’t remember anything but the lightness of dream.

And now the purple dusk of twilight time

Steals across the meadows of my heart

TJ was in the middle of chapter two when he heard light snoring. He smiled and whispered, “Goodnight, Underdog.” He hung up the phone and set the book back inside of his backpack before shutting off the lights. He went back under his covers and checked his phone for the time. It was 3AM, and he could hear the distant yet familiar arguing from downstairs. He had blocked it out for almost an hour thanks to Cyrus and Lois Lowry. TJ put the sides of the pillows to cover his ears and closed his eyes.

He knew time had passed when his eyes blasted open at the sound of a door slamming shut. The front door downstairs. He then registered the soft crying. Amber’s crying. He sat straight up and saw that Amber was at the end of his bed, her back against the wall.

“Amber?” TJ rubbed his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Dad left,” she whispered. TJ stopped moving. Was he hearing wrong?

High up in the sky the little stars climb

Always reminding me that we're apart

You wander down the lane and far away

Leaving me a song that will not die

“What?”

“Dad left. I heard them fighting in the bedroom like twenty minutes ago and he was packing his stuff,” she covered her face as she started to bawl. TJ lowered his hand and crawled over and put his arm around her. Amber shared a wall with their parents. TJ at least had the guest room in between which spared him a lot. Amber had always had it the worst.

“He’ll come back,” TJ whispered, his eyes starting to burn with tears. “He’ll come back.” Amber kept crying, her sobs eventually turning into wails. All TJ could do was sit there and hug her. He hadn’t even checked what time it was. He didn’t know if Amber had fallen asleep. It was getting hazy and everything felt a million times heavier. Amber’s sobs would die down and then increase suddenly, and he failed at trying not to cry. The only thing he heard was crying and the cars that would pass by in the streets. There was a ghostly silence emitting from the entire house. “He has to come back.”

Amber fell asleep after a long while, but TJ stayed wide awake. He gently laid her down before positioning himself next to his window. He was sitting with his back flat on his poster-covered wall, his eyes switching between watching Amber sleep and staring at the photos on his ceiling. He couldn’t really see them. It was still dark outside, and he didn’t know what he was waiting for. As soon as the sun beams started burst through the window and hit his bedsheets, he knew. He reached out a hand and let the light beam of sunshine hit his hand. There were striped shadows from the blinds wrapping around his skin. He let out a half-smile before closing his eyes. Everything will work out the way it’s meant to be he told himself. His GG always said that the rising sun meant a new era. He knew he wasn’t lying because the day he died, the sunrise turned the skies orange. It was his GG’s favorite color.

The music of the years gone by.

Sometimes I wonder, how I spend

The lonely nights

Dreaming of a song

The melody

Haunts my reverie

And I am once again with you

TJ laid down next to Amber and closed his eyes, almost immediately falling asleep. It didn’t feel like he had slept for more than a few minutes, but it was 6:30AM when he woke up to Amber turning off his alarm clock. He hadn’t even covered himself with the blankets, and he was cold. Amber stood up with her hands wrapped around herself as she shivered.

“Get ready, okay?” she told him, her teeth chattering. She looked horrible, and TJ knew he did, too. He simply nodded his head, and she made her way out of his room. He didn’t want to get up. He was exhausted and drained. It was a different type of tired where everything felt heavy and his throat felt dry. His eyes hurt every time he blinked. He had no idea how he was going to make it through the entire day. He still had work that afternoon, and he definitely could not skip right now.

He stood up anyways and got dressed. He went out into the hall and heard the sink running in the restroom. Amber was going to be a while. He went back into his room and got his hair gel from his bag and started doing his hair in there to get that over with. When he was done, he heard his phone vibrate. He reached over and smiled when he saw who it was from.

Cyrus: Good morning. I’m dead.

TJ: God I wish I were you right now

Cyrus: What time did u fall asleep??? I don’t even remember falling asleep.

TJ: u knocked out like at 3.

Cyrus: how much sleep did you get

TJ: idk like 2

Cyrus: 2 what? Hours

TJ: minutes

Cyrus: tj omg. Minutes?!!!!!

TJ: okay maybe like an hour or 2 I don’t really know.

TJ hesitated before sending the next text.

TJ: everything just sucks right now

Cyrus: hey I’m here if you need anything okay? We can talk about it over baby tators after tutoring if you’d like. My treat this time.

TJ: can’t. I have work.

Cyrus: I’ll walk you to work then. Sound good?

TJ: sounds perfect :^)

Cyrus: :o)

TJ heard the restroom door open, and he walked out to finish getting ready. Amber saw the smile on his face and raised an eyebrow, “Cyrus.” TJ shrugged, the smile not faltering. “Goofy boys,” Amber shook her head with a grin and walked back into her room.

When TJ finished getting ready, he walked down stairs to find Amber making them breakfast. He had heard their mom shuffling around in the master bedroom, so he knew she wasn’t downstairs.

“Eat up,” Amber told him as he sat down. “It’s almost seven, and I’m pretty sure we’re walking.” TJ didn’t say anything and gratefully ate the breakfast. They both ate in silence. TJ realized Amber didn’t have any makeup on and her hair was in a ponytail. He had seen himself in the mirror minutes ago, and he knew he didn’t exactly look like Prince Charming either.

They both turned to the kitchen doorway when their mom walked inside. She was still in her work uniform, and her hair was in a bun that was fall apart. Her eyes and nose were extremely red.

“I made breakfast,” Amber told her, not looking at her for longer than a second. TJ just saw her nod her head before walking to the coffee machine.

“You kids don’t have to go to school today,” she told them, her voice quiet yet rough. “I’ll call in.”

“I have to turn in an essay,” Amber quickly responded.

“Yeah,” TJ momentarily added, “I have tutoring after school.”

“Tutoring?” their mom turned to look at him. TJ sunk back a little in his seat. They had been told about his dyscalculia, but it was something they haven’t talked about in a while.

“Yeah,” TJ bit his lip. “I have it for math with a friend and Mrs. Pierson.” She simply nodded her head and went back to paying attention to the coffee machine. They were silent for the next few minutes as Amber and TJ kept eating, the clinking of dishes filling the air. Their mom watched them carefully as she drank her coffee. TJ checked his phone and told them, “I better get going.” He collected his and Amber’s dishes and placed them in the sink.

“I’ll wash them after I drop you kids off,” their mom putting her coffee on the counter. “Let me go get the keys.”

“We can walk if you want,” Amber told her delicately. She hadn’t taken them to school in ages. They called it an unnecessary waste of gas most of the time.

“No,” she shook her head. “I want to. At least today.” Neither TJ or Amber pressed the matter and just went to wait by the door. Amber’s eyes were already tearing up as they got to the door. TJ gave her a weak reassuring and smile which caused Amber to rub her eyes in an attempt of disguise. When the heard the keys rattling, Amber turned to their mom and said, “I have English second period. I might text you to pick me up.”

“I’ll be by my phone,” she said as they all walked out to the family car. TJ sat in the back seat and waited for the car to start moving. He felt ice cold even though fall had barely crept in, and it was making him want to sleep. He started considering skipping school. Mrs. Pierson would understand. Cyrus would, too. “Hey, um,” their mom gently said. “I just want you kids to know that I already talked to my boss. I’m getting shifts as I need them. I’m going to be responsible now, I swear. Nana and I talked. She’ll be on call if any of you two need anything, and I’m at work.” TJ knew Amber was crying again. It made him feel worse hearing her cry. Their mom started choking up, “Hey, I love you kids, okay? I’ve been a shitty mom lately, but we’ll get through this even if it’s just the three of us. I swear.”

He has to come back. He has to come back.

TJ was early to school; not a lot of kids had gotten dropped off. He walked into the cafeteria and got in line (it was only two kids in front of him). He was full already, but he eyed the chocolate chocolate chip muffins. He grabbed one and went back outside to sit at a picnic bench. He pulled out his phone and realized he already had a text from Cyrus.

Cyrus: hey I need to see you before class starts

TJ: im already at school sooo

Cyrus: im almost there. Where are u?

TJ: Benches by the cafeteria

TJ didn’t bother waiting for a response. He rested his head on his propped up arm and started closing his eyes. His eyelids felt so stiff, and he if tired had a taste, it was whatever parched feeling he had in his throat.

“Good morning!” Cyrus enthusiastically said, causing TJ to jump up startled.

“Hey!” TJ yelped. He quickly turned around to see if anyone had seen, but it was just kids minding their own business and Cyrus laughing. TJ smirked at Cyrus, “Proud that you scared the shit out of me?”

“Kind of, yes,” Cyrus grinned. He had two coffee shop drinks in his hands and one was half-way done. TJ assumed that’s where he got his energy. “Here,” Cyrus set the coffee in front of TJ. “I don’t know if you drink coffee, but I know you need it.”

“I’m usually an energy drink guy, but I tend to not splurge on them. Sleep is free energy,” TJ said and picked up the coffee. He studied the see-thru plastic carefully. He rarely got anything from the coffee shop. He didn’t know how to order it. Why couldn’t the sizes just be small, medium, and large?

“You’re not getting any sleep, and TJ, I mean this in the nicest way possible. You look exhausted. I’m so glad I chose today to get you this,” Cyrus gave TJ an apologetic look. TJ was half-asleep, so he just stared at Cyrus’ lips for a few seconds too long before remembering he was in a conversation.

“Uh, yeah,” TJ blinked furiously and set the coffee down, “thank you by the way. I owe you one.”

“No, you don’t,” Cyrus shook his head. TJ took a sip from the straw and immediately made a sour face.

“What is this, Underdog?” TJ smacked his lips a few times. It was super sweet at first, but he liked the aftertaste. He started drinking it again.

“I call it liquid cocaine. It’s 4 shots of expresso, and 4 pumps of white chocolate syrup over ice in a cold cup.”

“Sounds unhealthy.”

“You sleeping habits are unhealthy, TJ. You need to get more sleep.”

“Sounds fake.”

“TJ!” Cyrus whined.

“Fine, fine,” TJ rubbed his eyes. “I’ll take sleeping syrup or something.”

“Don’t abuse that stuff, though.”

“Do you want me to sleep or not?” TJ smiled, causing Cyrus to shrug.

“I guess,” Cyrus sighed. TJ felt nice for a change. Every time he realized Cyrus cared about him, it made everything feel better. Even if everything was a complete shit pile. “Hey we have time to talk if you want to tell me what’s wrong. Or we can wait until after school. If we don’t crash.” TJ looked around and bit his lip. If he didn’t make it to the end of the school day, it wasn’t going to be because of a caffeine crash. He was pretty good at hiding any emotional distress in person, but he didn’t know how long he’d be able to hold this in.

“I’ll just um…,” TJ bit his lip harder.

“We’ll talk after school,” Cyrus reached his hand across the table and squeezed TJ’s free hand. TJ felt himself turning red, but he didn’t reach out to cover his nose. He put the coffee down and set the abandoned muffin right in front of Cyrus.

“It’s for you.”

The nightingale

Tells his fairytale

Of paradise, where roses grew

Though I dream in vain

In my heart it will remain

My stardust melody

The memory of love's refrain.

Next Chapter

A/N: Thank you for reading! Here’s those who asked to be tagged :) If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know! Also if I forget you I swear it wasn’t on purpose. I skip over things in my head sometimes.

@magicalcowboycalzonemoney @the-greatt-perhaps @thedampjofangirl@evaeselgreatest @musicalsfuckmeup @stupidlambforever

#stars writing #andi mack #tyrus #cyrus goodman #tj kippen #tjs playlist

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welcome-to-the-spiral · 6 years

Note

Can you make a langst story where anytime someone says something that would hurt lance emotionally it would show on his skin. The team thinks that most of the words came from them when it turned out that it was mostly from his father. If you write this I will give you my soul.

Of course! Thanks so much for the prompt! (Side Note, im writing this on my phone, so I apologize in advance.) Note, some of Lance’s interactions with the team may be ooc!

Lance had expected to die when the cocoon of purple-white light surrounded him. Of course he knew it was magic, but light was less of a terrifying description of the light. Lance had expected to die, but instead pain spiraled through his entire being for what seemed like ages before dying down into a cold, empty throbbing. “Lance! Are you okay?” Hunk asked, and Lance weakly lifted his hand in a thumbs up. Not really, his brain supplied helpfully, but that wasn’t something he or his team needed. “Then why aren’t you fighting? Lance, we need all hands on deck, not you slacking.” Shiro’s words hurt the same way a scolding from his mama did, but, suddenly, pain ripped down his back and he fought against screaming. Pushing himself up weakly, Lance forced himself to bottle up the pain and instead continue shooting down Galran drones. The pain began to subside when Shirt called through the comma again. “Lance, I need you on my six! Stop wasting time on sentries!” Shiro commanded, and Lance nodded, swinging his gun over to face Shiro, where to Black Paladin was currently cutting Galran soldiers down like a scythe cute through wheat stalks. Pain again ripped up Lance’s spine, and he slipped, his gun discharging right for Shiro. A Galran sentry stepped in front of the blast moments before it collided with the Black Paladin, and Lance exhaled in relief before continuing to shoot down the soldiers. Lance knew his strength was waning from the blast of Haggar’s magic and the blood he could feel oozing down his back, but he couldn’t let Shiro down. Not now. Haggar had already turned tail and run, but it was imperative the Galran base was destroyed. The Kalemat Stretch was a massive canyon that cut through the moon Jamara orbiting a massive gas giant in the far reaches of the quadrant. Twice the size of Jupiter and five times as unstable, which meant the moons circling it were hard to get to and very well protected. The Kalemat Stretch was the Galran base built into the walls of the canyon and, coincidentally, a massive provider of Galran weapons. And Lance was not being the cause of this mission’s failure. Not in a million years. Yet, as the blood oozed down his back, he could feel his strength draining, and he backed away from the fight, his weapon switching to his sniper rifle as he continued to shoot Galran soldiers down. “Lance, what’re you doing? We need you close range!” Pidge shouted, and Lance winced. “I know Pidgeon, but I’m a bit worse for wear than expected.” Lance replied, and Pidge scoffed. “Sure you are, Lance. A bit more lazy- I mean…” Pidge said, and Lance bit back a scream as pain ran down his arm. You’re fine. You’re fine. You’re fine!Lance propped his rifle on a barrel and continued taking out soldiers, rescuing Keith from a bad situation, and aiding Pidge to the control panel. “Lance, I need you to hold back the sentries while I deactivate them.” Pidge said over the comms, and Lance affirmed. He could do this. The world slowed as Lance focused on the sentries moving in on Pidge, and he took them out one by one. Suddenly, something grabbed him from behind, and Lance screamed as he was flung backwards, his bayard clattering to the side. A massive Galran soldier stood over him, a large, jagged blade seeming to grow out of his arm, the hand of which has been mangled and hung useless. Lance felt tiny compared to the soldier, and sure, he was lying on his back like a discarded toy, but the soldier was massive, it’s thick fur covered in blood and parted to reveal a wide, scar-covered face. Lance may have been seven feet tall with his sarcasm added on, but he was nothing to the massive height of this soldier. “Guys? I’ve got a problem.” Lance whispered into his comms, and he could hear the sighs of his teammates. “Of course you do, Lance. You’re a problem.” Allura snapped, and the silence from the others filled Lance with pain. It wasn’t until his leg started burning that he was jolted back into reality. “Uhh… No, I mean an eight foot tall very purple very angry Galran warrior that looks like it wants to eat me. Do they? Do they eat people?” Lance added, his voice raising an octave. “I’ll help him guys.” Hunk signed, and the others thanked him as Lance dragged himself further and further away from the soldier with his good arm and leg. The warrior didn’t look like he was in a hurry, rather it looked like he was entertained by the dead that was rampant in Lance’s face. “Can’t believe he can’t even handle a single soldier.” Pidge muttered, and the pain in his bad arm worsened. Whimpering, he tried to pull himself to his feet, but he couldn’t. He just. He couldn’t. “Lance is useless. I’ve said it before.” Shiro muttered, and Lance couldn’t contain the scream as pain ripped across his back. “Lance? Are you okay?” Hunk asked, worry coloring his voice as he sprinted towards the Red Paladin. “He’s probably faking.” Allura whispered, and Lance dropped himself to the ground. It wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth saving him. Darkness wrapped around him just as Hunk created the hill Lance had hid on only minutes ago, his eyes wide as he took in the massive Galran soldier and immediately re-evaluated his dismissal of Lance’s fear. But it didn’t matter anyways, because the soldier lifted his blade and plunged it deep into Lance’s gut moments after Hunk screamed his name. - - -Lance woke in the medbay, his eyes tired as he stumbled out of the cryopod. Hunk was asleep in a couch nearby, his head rolled at an angle awkward enough Lance knew his neck would be hurting when he woke up. Why did he bother? It wasn’t like Lance was someone useful. It wasn’t like Hunk cared. Lance lifted his shirt and looked down at the thin scar that wrapped around his stomach. The Galran soldier has almost cleaved him in half, good god. Suddenly, the pain that had torn through his body previously came back, and he walked shakily to a mirror. Lifting the back of his shirt, he shuddered at the burn scar that still marred his back from when he had protected Coran. But there, over it, was the word ‘useless’ carved into his skin. He could still hear him saying it, the scathing tone, the dismissive way he had said it. It was the truth. Nothing Lance could ever do would change that, and the brand on his back was a permanent reminded.

I hope you liked it! Sorry again for taking an extra day!

Buy Me a Coffee - Fic Masterpost

#lance #lance mcclain #langst mcpain #lance vld #Langst #Langst vld #vld #voltron

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icharchivist · 6 years

Text

@x-theskyatdawn-x replied to your post “@x-theskyatdawn-x replied to your photoset “huh hi, why had no one…”

TEACH ME THE LAVEN WAYS ;D

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

*annoncer from old movies’s voice* Do you like ships based on friendship? Ships with a lot of playful teasing going on between them? Ships with a lot of thematic parallelism? Ships with a Light Quote? Ships that will definitly break your heart to pieces? Then Laven is for you!

under the cut because i ramble:

I think the best way to get into this ship is to focus on them, especially when Lavi is in the back. Because… damn shit gets intense. Honestly i didn’t even expect to ship them, it started as a joke, and then suddenly it hits me and i was "…..oh” ever since. (which is basically what happened to Lavi im just sayin’)

I think something I feel really strongly about this ship is that, Lavi started the manga thinking he didn’t care for people all that much. We know, thanks to the novel, that he was indeed getting closer to people in the Organization, but he still was keeping distant.

When he meets with Allen, he imediatly starts to tease him. Something Lavi does with everyone, but what I love is how Allen does end up loosing it up around Lavi. He’s either extra polite with people (see with Lenalee) or he blows off completely (like with Kanda) but then with Lavi it seems a right ballance of him being still kind, but also still ending up wrapping into Lavi’s stupid stuff. They tease each other (the vampire arc) and Allen will be playful with Lavi, which imo shows he’s already more comfortable in general, since Allen usually keeps up the Polite Face he learnt from Mana.

Lavi on his end, well, he does evolve a lot around Allen. He starts the story rather cynical, but he grows so close of Allen that the loss of Allen hurts him far more than he expected. So much that he holds on the Ace of Spades.

you… probably heard me fangirl about this beauty, but you should definitly read this post to get exactly what I mean. I think appreciating what the Ace of Spades represented was what made me so emotional about them to start with.

The framing when Allen dies is so big. Anita talks about how she believes Cross is alive because it’s the only thing that gives her strength, and this sentence? Is said while we see Lavi contemplating the Ace of Spades, the card that he links to Allen, and that it’s when he thinks to himself “that’s right, Bookman has no need for a heart” because that’s the moment he realizes his grief is taking over the emotionless person he’s supposed to be.

Which goes on and on (and is even worse if you believe in Lavi = Heart theory, since long story short, the Lavi = Heart theory lays on the fact that we know the Heart of Innocence is hiding in the Order, it has been retrieved, and we know that it’s “creating dummies” - creating/modifying powerful innocences to hide among them without being noticed. And this point, the two innocences that changed were Allen and Lenalee’s after both of their situations have Lavi completley lose it to his emotions).

Some of the further serious moments, Lavi knows Allen is alive, he knows he needs to controle his emotions, yet he immediatly jumps on Tyki when he meets him, furious, because it’s the one who hurt Allen. Lavi “I have No Heart” Bookman is a bad liar.

Once Allen comes back, Lavi takes a backstep, but you’d notice though that… Lavi is always kinda close? He’s always in the back.

Until of course, this wonderful scene:

Nice Lavi.

^This is especially an interesting scene because Lavi had been keeping an eye on Allen ever since they met. After Lavi got to see the Akuma’s souls for himself, he was kinda disturbed by the fact that Allen could carry on smiling happily to not worry anyone while he was seeing those horrors all the time. I think from that point, Lavi started to see through Allen’s masks - that Allen’s smile was as fake as his, even if it had another reason for it. So Lavi gets to see through those smiles and acknowledge that Allen may be hiding greater pain than he may look like. (better post about it there)

The whole Dream with Road is extremely interesting too, but it’s explored in the Ace of Spades post i linked: Road kept trying to find ways to break Lavi. She wasn’t just awakening Lavi’s worst fears, she was reading his heart to know where she had to hurt. So she tried - she played around. She first had Lenalee blame him for not caring for them, she has everyone turning on Lavi, she forces Lavi to acknowledge he’s failing those people. But it doesn’t break him. What does though? Is when she makes Allen appears to him, gentle, softening that Lavi held on to the card for him without Bookman’s knowledge - when she shows him Allen being glad of Lavi showing his friendship - only to have his “Bookman self” kill Allen because “he’s just ink on paper”

And that’s when Lavi lowers his guard, that’s when he falls down, that’s where the Ace of Spades becomes a blank page that run out of ink. That’s when Lavi’s spirit got broken: by having Allen being soft to him and being glad to be his friend, before being destroyed in front of him.

And while it was Lavi’s weakness, it was also his strength - as Allen called for Lavi. When you see how the later chapters say that the call of your name by a loved one (even if the loved one is platonic, as long as the feeling is sincere), can bring back a wandering soul back to his body. And Allen? Goes on the whole fight calling Lavi over and over, and hugging him because “Lavi, can’t you heart my voice?”.

stuff i’m emo about: this^.

And eventually, it gets through, eventually, Lavi manages to deal with what’s happening in his brain, and Lavi takes back control of his own body.

He has no memories of fighting Allen, and despite being in pain, he immediatly starts joking off with Allen again while Allen is basically being annoyed that Lavi put himself in danger this way.

And then Joyd comes, and suddenly Allen isn’t in good shape anymore, and Lavi, with the very few strength remaining to him, that tries to protect him and i’m emotional.

And then, when they go back home - things go back to normal. Actually, Lavi tries to find opportunities to be with Allen. He wants to ask Allen to sneak out the Infirmry with him to get food (it doesn’t happen because Allen is already gone, but Lavi “I have no Heart” Bookman was seeking for such a simple fun moment with Allen) - or later, when Link starts to investigate on Allen, Lavi tries so hard to stick around. Like there’s at one point, Link trying to get Allen to answer questions and asks for Allen to join him in the library for it, and Lavi, who was chilling with Allen before it happens, immediatly goes “i’ll go check some book what a coincidences ~” and is just shut down by Link, and he stops following. In a way, Lavi just wanted to stick around. Hell you even see him brushing his teeth with Allen (and Link and Bookman who happen to be there too, but Lavi and Allen are the ones to talk and jokes together), and i’m personally a sucker for those little domestic moments.

It’s after Lenalee’s innocence change to a crystalization that Bookman becomes more severe and tells Lavi to focus on his duty as bookman, to not get closer to the innocence. And after that, Lavi starts to shut down. He gets distants.

Plus, a bit after that, there’s the Cross & Allen conversation about Mana - in which Lavi was forced to assist as a Bookman. He was clearly recording the scene, and he wasn’t pleased. He probably saw Allen at the lowest Allen has ever been, doubting even if he was ever loved by Mana - at a point in the story where Lavi was already knowing he was supposed to keep his distances.

And well of course right now we know it’s gonna abe suffering considering their situations but….

What I’m trying to say still is that, Lavi and Allen are close. And they get friendly around each other, a lot even despite those walls they built around themselves because of the choices they made. And by wording it this way, I want to point out how it plays on what I called Thematic Parallelisms.

Lavi and Allen’s storyline are heavily linked to their Identity. They are two people who picked a road, and decided to stick to it (becoming a bookman/being an exorcist) but on this road, they ended up having to make decisions between two conflicting part of their identity (Bookman&Exorcist/Exorcist&Noah). Suddenly they’re being asked to pick a side, to pick who they really are.

Not to mention, they are both characters with names that aren’t really theirs. We know Lavi changes name all the time, and we know Allen’s name was only picked up after the death of the dog Allen, since his name was originally Red. - meanwhile he named himself Walker after Mana’s death, he wasn’t named this way.)

They have such a duality, about who they are and what people expect them to be, and what they want to be, and what people force them to go through. They are both suffering directly from their bonds with the Noah (hell, considering Lavi is suffering especially because of the Bookman’s bonds to the 14th, it’s even bigger).

In the end, though it’s just - they are friendly and they tease each other so much they let each other’s masks fall down sometimes.

I love the fact they can have… just be dorks y’know. Like that time in the guidebook Allen chased down Lavi with Wasabi to have him eat it after Lavi took him a piece of food. Like they are just?? dorks??

Now don’t get me wrong, I totally get them as platonic, and they will always have an amazing dynamic no matter what, but i’m truly a sucker for Friends who just enjoy to have fun together, who tease each other, and especially, Thematic parallelism. Add a sprinkle of Angst with grieffing and fearing losing the other, and you got me convinced.

I don’t think i can explain it more for now since my mind is a bit blurry but o(-( ye. I. Really love their dynamics. And that cover i pointed out? It’s just one of those fun little moments between them i just love. I want more of that… especially since they will probably suffer a lot soon a ha ha haah aha .

Anyway hope maybe this can bring u to the laven side

join us we’re a few but we’ve been crying

take care!

#ichareply #ichashipping laven #ichafantalks dgm #this post is a huge mess thanks #i'm maybe a little too tired to do it and idk if it even makes sense but here u go

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