#i NEED it to be done

[phosphorus-noodles]

me: man essay writing is not going well, wonder why

alter, who is foaming at the mouth over men behind me:

#save me essay save me #i need it to be DONE #pho.posts

[cannibalisticskittles]

grousing about my research paper when my sister came home, stressing about how i really need to be working on it and spending a lot of time on it and I'm anxious to get it done.

she asks me when it's due

october 18th, i say

i'll fucking kill you, she says

#YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THO #i NEED it to be done #and I need it done as soon as possible #I will not stop panicking until it's turned in #I think about it constantly #I can't turn off the worry #even though I have lots of time. and it even though my grade is high enough that even if I got a zero in this assignment #i would still fucking pass #it doesn't matter though. my brain says this is something I need to be panicking about. so I wake up feeling sick to my stomach #doesn't matter how many reminders I give myself. so! gotta focus on it till it's done

[beaft]

google help me

#be shh now #i'm reading needful things and sometimes i come to a sentence that's just like. indescribable. mr king why have you done this.

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[izzenithal]

Percy “Has Been Waiting to Use This Meme as an Excuse” Jackson, and Annabeth “Never Seen a Meme” Chase

#this has probably been done before but #i enjoyed making this silly thing this morning #also is annabeth aware of memes in the show???? annabeth how will you bond with Percy #he definitely has a hyper detailed Minecraft world #anyway #pjo series #pjo tv show #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #annabeth chase #fanart #pjo comic #my art #I’ve been really enjoying the show!! i need to reread there’s so much I’ve forgotten

[embraceyourdestiny]

to any americans who feel "paralyzed" and "dont know what to do" to help with gaza:

reading a fucking book. i beg of you.

in a time of knowledge suppression is it your duty to arm yourself with knowledge.

read about americas occupations in the middle east.

read about 9/11 from outside of america and see how they inflicted senseless harm and violence to countless amounts of people and have been suppressing your rights for the past 2 fucking decades.

read about any of the countless wars from the past 30 years. especially from a civilian's. and the victims and survivors' perspective. listen to the horror stories and do not plug your fucking ears as to what your country is doing.

and read about fucking gaza and palestine and keep up with what is happening no matter how "sad" or "uncountable" you might get.

dont look away from this.

you dont have the right to be comfortable during countless active genocides.

if you're knowledgeable, you're powerful, and our current state doesnt fucking want that.

you have the power to change things if you open your eyes and scream to the world.

wake the fuck up.

Edit: please check the reblogs there are readings and ways to help

#og #truly if youre not about it your against it and i dont fuck with you because you're complacent #wake the fuck up #we're all responsible and dont you dare say you're not #americans need to stop living in the world with their eyes closed and their ears covered #look at what your fucking 'glorious country' is doing to people #everyone should be against america no fucking exceptions because america is violent and evil and needs to be stopped #then read about what america has done to the natives of their land #radicalize yourself #decolonize your mind #free palestine #land back #palestine will be free #theres too many fucking movements of just the past couple years all happening at once to act like the world is fucking fine #we are in a human rights CRISIS #WAKE THE FUCK UP PLEASE

[eridan-ampora]

i love it when characters are codependent. i love it when losing someone feels like losing a limb. i love it when two people "complete" each other so wholly and terribly that one can barely function without the other. i love it when the fear of losing the only person who understands them is so all-consuming they'll destroy anything to stay together, including themselves.

#gray.txt #im really normal about moirails #i need to start writing again LOL #ive done 3 entire fics in the last decade but also im on adhd meds so maybe thatll help #still need 2 overcome my debilitating perfectionism tho. it's a work in progress

[cabinette]

i consider myself a connoisseur of What Makes Chilchuck's Brain Fry

#I DON TCAAARE if this looks shit. I'm DONE with it now!!!! #IM SO SICKKKKK I LOVE THIS POLY SO MUCH i need to make more art for them #art cabinet #chilwife is so so pretty i need to dive into a ditch #chilshi #pots n picks #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi

[snarkspawn]

the devil you know

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fanart #bg3 raphael #stuff and things #userpharawee #yeah I know everyone and their mum has already done something like this #with the shadow and the exact caption and all lmao I *know* ok #I just. wanted to do it too #and I've had it in my head for months it needed to get out #anyway. moving on!

[tired-and-swordless]

That feeling when you have the strong desire to read the story you're still in the middle of writing ☠

#i need it to be done #but ive got to fucking finish it first fml

[8catsinatrenchcoat]

david tennant character vs. weeping angels

#sorry but i had this thought and it needed to be shared with the world #so apologies if this has been done before #doctor who #tenth doctor #david tennant #good omens #good omens s2 #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands

[ibtisams]

I AM DOING A HUNGER STRIKE FOR GAZA

It has been almost 200 days of genocide in Gaza, and during this time Palestinians have been in the worst stage of starvation and famine. Children have begun dying from starvation and malnutrition, and more and more photos of Palestinian children are coming out where the child is nothing more than skin and bones.

Personally, I know I take the food I eat for granted every single day. I am no more deserving of a meal than the children of Gaza, so for that reason me and a few of my friends will be doing a minimum of FIVE day hunger strike in solidarity with my brothers and sisters in Palestine.

We will be starting on 1 May, as to hunger strike safely there is preparation needed. I making this post now in case anyone wants to join me and will want to prepare. I am not doing a dry hunger strike, I will be having fluids and I also don’t believe I will be able to hunger strike safely for more than 15 days for health reasons.

“Sponsor me” on my hunger strike!

If you send me proof of a $50 USD donation to Anera (the equivalent of feeding 180 Palestinians), I will add ONE day to my hunger strike (a maximum of 15 days)

Join me on my hunger strike!

If you think this is something you would be able to participate in, I encourage you to participate in any capacity that you can- as long as you’re doing it SAFELY

Here is a resource I have been following to prepare ***YOU CAN’T JUST START A HUNGER STRIKE BY CUTTING OUT FOOD COMPLETELY AND NOT PREPARING***

If you want to participate, please do your research and do it safely. I am doing this for the Gazan children who don’t have a choice right now, and I know in my heart I owe it to them. There is so much we consider a basic right and take for granted that people in Gaza don’t have access to. This hunger strike is solely in solidarity/raise money for Anera, there is no specific end result.

More information on hunger strikes (and why they needed to be prepared for if you’re choosing to do one)

#in case anyone gets weird about it I am Palestinian #this is important to me #I also am not kidding a hunger strike can go very wrong if not done properly #so if you actually want to do it properly you need to be preparing and doing research #ask box is back open for proof of donations #🦢

[bruciemilf]

“Bruce is emotionally incompetent and can’t step outside his own morality” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“Dick is extremely stubborn and thinks he’s right all the time” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“Jason has hypocritical tendencies” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“ Tim is entitled and doesn’t think about people when seeking results, and often acts uncaring” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“Damian is rude and bratty” yeah, it’s a character flaw.

Also, some people may not even regard everything listed above as flaws.

Having negative traits allows incredible flexibility within your characters, what makes them intriguing, what makes them easy to relate to. If you want to write people, then write people. But they can’t be good and clean all the time.

#bruce wayne #dc comics #dc #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #I’m really glad we’re growing out of the ‘my favorite is flawless because they’re a good person who has done both wrong ever’ phase #you can absolutely enjoy media that has imperfections and blemishes. these characters should be flawed. they should get to be shitty people #sometimes. they should get a chance to grow and extend and evolve as individuals. because I think that’s what we need to see more #it’s not about being a shitty person. it’s about STAYING a shitty person #text #meta #batfamily

[neosatsuma]

#okay I'm done that's all I got I need to buy ant traps #my nonsense #tumblr #ruining the surprise by tagging this appropriately but tbh. i think we are. at this point. expecting it #walrus #walrus fairy poll

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[jagalart]

Yarrow and Feverfew

Art trade with the incredible @liscepu, I'm so grateful for the chance! Thank you for fueling my love for the game again <3

#arthur morgan #red dead redemption #rdr2 #rdr fanart #flowers #portrait #illustration #Also #since gathering and crafting from plants is one of my fav things in open world games I've been really enjoying drawing game characters with #like I've done with Geralt or Pathologic before - I will be definitely doing that more in the future! <3 #This also reminded me I still need to return to platinum-ing RDR2... #...These damn 70 golden medals tho #I have no idea how I'll do it 💀