#husband and wife jokes

[newriverartist]

Pause

Hikers Boards Near Pandapas Original 40 x 30″ oil painting $2430 https://kendall-kessler.pixels.com/featured/hikers-boards-near-pandapas-kendall-kessler.html Wall Art Prints and prints on other items available with link This day got away and I don’t have anything to say. I will tomorrow. Can’t shut me up. Prints on Zazzle. Here is Fall on the New River on a…

View On WordPress

#Blue Ridge paintings #gazebo paintings #horse paintings #husband and wife jokes #Kendall Kessler Art #mountain paintings #New River paintings #pawleys island paintings #Towhee Hill Studio Art

[pockykierra]

Sorry Aziraphale, but Mesopotamia Crowley? She's mine. You snooze you lose

#good omens #I was not joking about this being a Mesopotamia Crowley fan account #she's my WIFE #if Aziraphale won't treat her right by GOD I will #crowley #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #Mesopotamia Crowley

[anachronistic-falsehood]

PAC IS SO RIGHT WHY IS HE ALWAYS CONSIDERED THE WIFE IN FITPAC??? FIT IS THE WIFE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP AND I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE PRETENDING HE'S THE HUSBAND

#qsmp #fit is such malewife material u don't even KNOW #insert obligatory “this is just jokes i am not actually trying to assign heteronormative wife/husband dynamics to a fictional gay couple” #this is just for giggles and also i think qfit would look cute in an apron amen and thank you goodnight

[ecto-stone]

HC- Jack like people with long curly hair.

#hachi doodle #danny phantom #so this is kinda base on a joke my science teacher used to tell us #where the husband really love his wife long hair but got super devastated when she style it into one of those short modern bob

[cannibalovers]

hannibal bagged such a good husband cuz WHAT DO U MEEAANN that Will regretted not running away with him and couldn't let him go yet so he built his own fucking boat, sailed to Florence KNOWING, SENSING he would be there, FORGAVE HIM and didn't meet him face to face UNTIL he learned more about Hannibal by literally going to Hannibal's home to understand him more??? all that after Hannibal stabbed him and killed his surrogate daughter after making Will believe she is dead and framed Will for her death????&!#)€(

#we are going to ignore how will literally tried to kill him again tho #for the sake of the post and cuz deep down will trying to find hannibal was genuine #he tries to kill him again for revenge and resentment but that doesn't mean he doesn't love him #he is just really struggling to accept that he is like hannibal cuz that would make him not normal when he tries so hard to be normal #anyway #if i was hannibal i would indeed cry too to my pretend wife about this. #all that cuz will loved hannibal and felt understood by him and didn't wanna lose that and actually regretted his actions. #i better not hear anyone say that hannigram doesn't love each other after this #yall weren't joking when yall said that season 3 is the gayest of the seasons #the most romantic at that #nbc hannibal #hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #murder husbands #text post #my post

[justaz]

au where like keith spent those two years on the space whale and allura brought shiro back to life but they still can’t go back to earth. shiro has gone grey, no black hair on his head, he’s retired and stays on the castle, does not pilot a lion. keith and lance are now like the “leaders” of the team. like keith relies heavily on lance support and lance thrives in the sort of co-leader dynamic they have. pidge casually referring to “dad” and lance being like “shiro or keith??” and pidge going “shiro is retired and has a full head of white hair. who do you think i’m talking about?” so shiro has been promoted from space dad to space grandpa and lance and keith are now mom and dad

#lance LOVES this joke and leans heavily into it #referring to the rest of the team as his kids and calling keith his husband #referring to himself as keith’s wife #he just finds it funny #there’s no hidden feelings that are expressing themselves by pretending to be married to keith #absolutely not #hunk is a liar #keith being so confused but he’s not gonna argue #because it boosts morale #people are joking and laughing and it makes them happy with this little inside joke #not because he really likes the idea of being married to lance and having kids #nope. not at all. #vld #voltron #klance #lance mcclain #keith kogane #pidge gunderson #katie holt #hunk garrett #takashi shirogane #princess allura #coran vld #lance is a mother hen and keith is whipped and can’t say no to lance #so it fits #when they start to piss each other off they’ll threaten to file for divorce #like it’s a genuine threat and they’re scared of the idea so they’ll switch to a calm rationale discussion #no one points out that they’re not really married so the threat is empty

[fiery-emblems]

I keep saying that my dream Fire Emblem game would be a Tellius sequel where you play as a group of branded trying to establish their desert nation, and that I would want Soren there as a guest character/the adult Tiki of the game.

The question is: with the modern FE games having an obsession with player romance, could you, the player, marry adult Soren?

My answer is YES regardless of gender, but the catch is you have to deal with constant reminders that you're the second wife (first wife being Ike) and you're not even the favorite.

#the word wife here is being used because its more funny #obviously you could also be the second husband (regardless of gender) #soren #tellius #future tellius au #au #silly thoughts #jokes

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

I FUCKING LOVE IZZY HANDS

JESUS CHRIST

#izzy hands #YEAH this is about episodes 4/5 #IM FUCKING EMOTIONAL- HIS ARC! I JUST- ADKHDDKHHH #OH????? AND WE GET IZZY IN DRAG IN THE TEASER? AND A FUCKING MASOCIST JOKE!?!?!?!?!? #MY FUCKING HUSBAND. MY WIFE. WHATEVER. LONG POST IN A FEW ABOUT GROWTH AND SHIT. FUCKING HELL #ofmd s2 #ofmd izzy #ofmd season 2 #ofmd 2 #con oneill #ofmd s2 ep4 #ofmd s2 ep5

[newriverartist]

Aggravation?

Hikers Boards Near Pandapas Original 40 x 30″ oil painting $2430 https://kendall-kessler.pixels.com/featured/hikers-boards-near-pandapas-kendall-kessler.html Wall Art Prints and prints on other items available with link The other day I had a lot of chores to do and I was trying to find the best route to avoid bad traffic and aggravation. Clyde said, “Leave me home?” Well, that won’t do…

View On WordPress

#Blue Ridge paintings #gazebo paintings #horse paintings #husband and wife jokes #Kendall Kessler Art #mountain paintings #New River paintings #pawleys island paintings #Towhee Hill Studio Art

[funkycarabiner]

lesbians get to say "we're gfs/wives" and gay men get to say "we're bfs/husbands" but straight people are stuck saying "we're bf AND gf" or "we're husband AND wife" like LOSERS!!!

#ok i dont think all straight people are losers #and id like to clarify not everyone who identifies as gay or lesbian wants to use gendered terms like gf/bf/wife/husband #and also bisexual people exist #but anyways joke post heres some more tags #lesbian #lesbians #wlw #sapphic #dyke #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #bi #bisexual #homosexual #pride

[plurillean-confessions]

I find it really silly how ive seen people say that they dont understand inter system relationships when we have,,, so meny.

-🎃system

!

#confessions #anonymous #🎃 system #actually plural #pluralgang #plurality #plural system #plurilliean #sysian #pro endo #endo safe #Mod Lepton #''how do you even have relationships??'' #''listen there's well over 500 of us and we tend to be very different. it would more be a question of how we would NOT have relationships.' #(as in like yeah SOME of us might be aroace but then there's Carmen of whom a running joke has been made about how zhe have more partners-- #--than kids. it's no longer totally accurate but it was for a While #including being married to zheir wife and two husbands)

[deus-ex-mona]

the times that lxl acted like a married couple

and the one time they were actually married

#no clue where i was going with this im on negative sleep o k #i really need to put a word embargo on ‘meoto’ lmao #ngl i prolly won’t shut up about meoto till it drops. less than 3 weeks to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i can explain the mvm choices i s w e a r #car scene: poor sleepy wife falls asleep on husband; husband smiles fondly like the sap he is #lunch scene: wife is making sure husband eats his veggies lol #kiss scene: g e e z stop flirting guys you have a literal audience— #o k but i think im gonna tl ‘meoto’ as ‘husband and wife’ bc it has a better ring to it than just plain ol’ ‘married couple’ #i s e r i o u s l y hope it gets an mv and they kiss though— #though i do wonder what scenarios they chose for the radio drama… #i’ll laugh if they choose my joke scenario of ‘fight like a married couple’ lmao #染BODY ONCE TOLD ME— #shibaclown saturday #LXL MEOTO CRISIS 2K24

[crimeronan]

forgetting which of the OCs are lesbians and which are bisexual because the insane dykery and problematic sexuality is so strong in all of them. hashtag feminism.

#original fiction quartet #devin is one of those dykes who IDed as a straight man at one point and then was clocked #thru another dyke (ruby) being like 'idk why i like u specifically so much but i do' #that's mostly a joke i think devin was openly genderfluid upon meeting ruby. timelines are muddy tho who cares. #ruby is one of those dykes who's like 'isn't it crazy how i'm bisexual but would be wildly uncomfortable sleeping with or marrying a man' #'women just make me feel safe and happy for some reason even when theyre terrible murderers :)' #'ruby i think you're just a lesbian' 'no' #sol is very 'so great how i can choose to only fuck women these days' 'didnt you have a husband' 'do i have a husband now?? bitch????' #nova's happy with devin being her wife and would call any older man daddy but wouldnt call any older woman mommy. hashtag misogyny #in conclusion. they are all terrible and hilarious. and contain multitudes #original fiction

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Artanis: Who in Oblivion are you?!

Farkas: The man who's gonna marry you.

Artanis: Oh, so you're delusional?

*a few years later, after some murder and werewolf shenanigans*

Farkas, holding Artanis' hand so he can show off their wedding rings: Look who's delusional now!

Artanis: You're really not letting that go?

Farkas: I'm not you.

Artanis: *sighs* *kisses Farkas*

#I GOT THIS FROM A FROZEN JELSA QUOTE #the joke was jack doesn't let go elsa lets it go #I don't know how well that translated here #rip #murder wife and wolf husband #oc: artanis felagund #farkas #companions of jorrvaskr #shield sister #whiterun #nerevar queue and star #incorrect quotes #incorrect elder scrolls #incorrect skyrim quotes #tes #the elder scrolls #skyrim #the elder scrolls v: skyrim #source: tumblr

[lessson]

John Mulaney, Adam Levine, Ned Pulmer, etc. I bet Ryan Reynolds is next.

#the wife guy #wholesome husband #john mulaney #adam levine #try guys #Ryan reynolds #Blake lovely better keep an eye out for selener. #I make distasteful jokes I’m sorry but legit I do suspect Ryan Reynolds because of #his ‘wholesome husband funny man devoted wife guy’ thing #there’s a pattern with those !!

[vigilskeep]

playing around with a few of the exile’s different backstory variants because the most important thing is choosing whichever one turns out to have the most unhinged parallels to the companions. for my health

#the exile #what you have to understand is that he was something of a stock character if you will #meaning i would grab a version of him for any story i felt like #(and there were a dozen story ideas a week as you can imagine from knowing me) #so they were all undeveloped but they were many and varied versions of him #he was even an old man some of the time #once he transed his gender and became an old woman! which was exciting. room for several terrible jokes there #obligatory ‘and this is my ex-husband the exile’ ‘stop calling me that. i am his wife’ #anyway im sprinkling in some messed up family dynamics as is my right #i wish id said noble instead of soldier because it was a bit of a toss up but here we are #the soldier proficiencies just made more sense and hes probably done some work since #but specifically he took a guard role in several versions #so i stuck to that #but fairly high born in any case #an important guard role before his exile i mean