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vidavalor · 7 months

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The Vavoom: Or, when the show's hinting Crowley & Aziraphale first kissed

It was not in 2.06, if that makes you feel any better?

Meta/theory hybrid stuffity stuff below the cut. As always, all interpretations are valid. This isn't meant to offend anyone who sees things differently. Post contains spoilers for the films 'Kiss Me Deadly' (1955), 'About Time' (2013), 'Love Actually' (2003), and 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' (1994). Apologies that this took a few days. Life's been wild this week. Let's dive in...

Right. So. The Vavoom...

I feel like most of us, by this point, are probably in agreement that Crowley is not talking about something he saw in a Richard Curtis film when he talks about his plan to help The Shop Lesbians to fall in love... and that, if he's not talking about something he saw in a movie, then he's talking about something he experienced... and yes, sure, absolutely Crowley has been on Earth for 6,000 years and could have vavoomed with basically anyone who has ever lived at this point as well as one semi-sentient car and even the world's once only-remaining unicorn but... we all know he's talking about Aziraphale. So this is about unraveling what the show presents as Clues to this end and using those Clues to solve for x and see if we can prove that Crowley is talking about Aziraphale and then figure out when this Vavoom happened with the information the show has given us so far... and the good news is that we can do all of those things so here we go...

The first thing to do is to eliminate the Richard Curtis films. Let's just start with Crowley saying that he saw his whole vavoom moment in "a Richard Curtis film." As someone who has seen a frankly embarrassing number of Richard Curtis films, I can tell you that this is a very amusing misdirect from a writing standpoint. It is amusing because it's a wink of sorts towards the same problem that comes up when you try to find The Vavoom on the GO timeline based on what the show's presented so far. What is that problem? It's that-- at first, cursory glance-- no one GO scene or Curtis film seems to have everything Crowley describes. Don't worry, though, because we actually do have enough information to find the lone caraway seed beneath these three cowrie shells here. You'll be Aziraphale-voicing an "a-HA!" very soon. :)

There are only two Richard Curtis films that feature elements Crowley lists as having occurred during The Vavoom: 'About Time' and 'Four Weddings and a Funeral.' The Awning of a New Age scene in GO actually winds up an homage of sorts to 'About Time', as it is referencing it pretty heavily. However, there is no vavooming in 'About Time'; meaning, there is not this gaze-to-kiss moment that Crowley is talking about. A wedding reception tent collapses under heavy rain and soaks several supporting characters in the film, much like how our supporting characters Nina and Maggie get soaked by too much rain causing the awning to collapse. There is no gaze or almost-kiss or kiss before it. There are other canopies-- umbrellas-- but no one gazes or kisses under one. So, Crowley did not see The Vavoom in 'About Time'-- but that particular Richard Curtis film might have been the one in Crowley's mind when he quickly latched onto Richard Curtis films while speaking with Aziraphale in the pub.

As a result, thinking about his conversation with Aziraphale while trying to craft his Shop Lesbians Vavoom might have actually caused him to over-weather and cause the awning to drench Maggie & Nina. So the joke there is more that The Original Vavoom of which Crowley is speaking in the pub scene is something that really happened and had an element or two in common with a scene in the Richard Curtis film, 'About Time', which also features Bill Nighy (see: 'Love Actually' stuff below), whose mannerisms Crowley seems to like to emulate at times. As a result of seeing the film and thinking about how it *wasn't* like The Vavoom-- the canopy collapsing, the lack of an actual Vavoom in motion prior to this, all of that disappointing Crowley greatly when he saw this film lol-- Crowley ironically then says he got the whole idea of The Vavoom from a Richard Curtis film... when, in fact, *the distinct lack of Vavoom* in the film was what Crowley remembered from it... and then, upon thinking of the pub discussion when trying to start an Awning of a New Age for Maggie & Nina, it accidentally became part of his miracle, causing him to over-Weather and, kind of hilariously, substituted the kiss Crowley was trying to incite with the collapsing awning scene from 'About Time'... the film then disappointing him all over again lol.

The other Richard Curtis film that is relevant is 'Four Weddings and a Funeral.' You might be familiar with the scene-- its ending scene-- just from cultural osmosis as this point, even if you haven't seen the film. Hugh Grant proposes to Andie MacDowell in the pouring rain. So, the big problem with this scene is that there is no canopy. None. Whatsoever. They're soaked through. We never see them go inside. They look into each other's eyes and they kiss but it's raining on them the whole time and Crowley is really specific about his canopy requirements for Vavooming. This scene is also wrong because it's a proposal between characters who have known one another on and off for years and have a more extensive history, whereas Nina and Maggie are much earlier in a potential relationship and The Vavoom Crowley talks about is an intense gaze into a first kiss. That said... just as how 'About Time' ties to Nina & Maggie's story, there are some 'Four Weddings'-y elements to Crowley & Aziraphale's relationship, in that their story also covers them meeting up through different points in time and such. 'Four Weddings' was also the first mainstream, hit rom com to openly feature queer characters in supporting roles so it's a strong one for GO to be referencing... but, ultimately, no Crowley-described Vavoom scene in sight.

Finally, there's 'Love Actually', which doesn't actually have a single element in it that pertains to The Vavoom but I'm throwing it in here because I'm just looking at all GO ties to Richard Curtis films at this point. 'Love Actually' features Nina Sosanya (GO's Nina, of course) as a queer-coded character and, in GO, David Tennant has a few scenes where he seems to be channeling Bill Nighy's Billy Mack from 'Love Actually' in S1. (Tell me Crowley's not doing Billy Mack's walk when they cross the street to the bookshop in Eleven Years Ago in S1 lol.) For those of you who have somehow avoided seeing this movie lol, Billy Mack is an aging rock star who is the best character in the film and heavily queer-coded. In S2, there's also some Big Bill Nighy Energy in the "we'll just to have to make it worthwhile then" bit with Muriel in Heaven and also in the way he chuckles in the "I *was* there, you see" moment with Gabriel. Also probably worth mentioning that, in 'About Time', Bill Nighy plays the dad of one half of the main couple in the movie and his role is to teach him how to live life and this involves pursuing the woman he is trying to marry throughout his ability to fall through time. So, Bill Nighy is basically playing the S2 Crowley of 'About Time' while the main couple of that film parallels Maggie & Nina, in that he's setting up the scenario for the couple involved to get together. Nothing in the film, though, is as overt or contains elements that match The Vavoom, other than the collapsed awning, as we got into above.

So mah point is dolphins that while there are a couple of Richard Curtis films that contain bits and pieces of what Crowley is talking about, there isn't a single one that has anything really remotely close to the, uh, extremely specific scenario he was detailing... so now we have to look at just what the hell Crowley's on about, exactly... and for this, we are, surprisingly, going to wind up looking at a very different film from any by Richard Curtis-- 1955's classic film noir, 'Kiss Me Deadly'. Why this random film, you say? Because it's actually not at all random to GO S2. It's the origins of the phrase "vavoom"... and S2 of GO contains a multi-episode homage to the film.

'Kiss Me Deadly' is, tonally, very different from GO as it's pretty dark film noir but it has a plot you might find a little familiar. One night, driving down a dark road, the main character picks up a hitchhiker who has lost her memory. After she's murdered, the film revolves around the main character-- a private investigator-- and his lover/partner investigating the case to try to solve the mystery. GO's episode "The Hitchhiker" opens with a plot and visual homage to this film when Aziraphale picks up Shax in The Bentley and obviously S2 contains a plot surrounding a mystery related to a character who has lost their memory in Gabriel. I'm going to do a separate thing that is a deeper dive into this with particular emphasis on how the lead characters relate to Crowley and Aziraphale at another point in time because it crosses into too many other things to fit it into this one at the moment but the reason why I bring the film up now is because of its ties to the phrase "vavoom."

"Vavoom", alternatively spoken as "va va voom" and containing the same meaning, is thought to have originated in a cartoon in the late 1940s but its use in "Kiss Me Deadly" in 1955 is what pushed it into popular, cultural use and knowledge. In the film, there's a character named Nick, who is friends with the two leads (the Crowley & Aziraphale-paralleling Hammer and Velda). They have nicknamed him "Va Va Voom" because he says it so often. Nick is an auto mechanic who works on the leads' car-- yes, there's a Bentley parallel lol-- and it is his use of the phrase that made it one we are familiar with today. But what does it really mean exactly in terms of this scene in the pub?

Without going too far down the road that we wind up in another meta about wordplay and symbolism in S2 here, the show is doing things related around the word 'passion' and all of its various meanings. It begins with Aziraphale referring to Maggie's feelings for Nina as "a pash"-- which is British English slang for "a crush" or "an infatuation". It comes from the word "passion"... but the word "passion" actually means something much different. "Passion" is very specifically romantic, erotic love when used to describe a relationship. It means enthusiasm when about a hobby or the like-- Aziraphale will get the neighbors to come to the meeting/ball by negotiating their commitment based on things they're passionate about-- Mr. Arnold and Doctor Who, Mutt and the history of magic. Finally, S2 is tying a lot of this passion-related plot to *The* Passion-- as in, The Passion of the Christ, or the Christian phrase for the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Why is it called 'The Passion' anyway? Because the Latin root of 'passion' is 'pati', which actually means 'to suffer.' Looking at all of this and how the show pairs up scenes with different types of passion is a whole other meta. I'm bringing it up here because of the relationship between 'passion' and 'vavoom'...

"Vavoom" means voluptuously sexy. It means passionate. Something having a sense of "vavoom" or "vavavoom" means it is either suggestive of or is sensually pleasing. In GO S2, Maggie & Nina represent the pash use of passion-- the new love, the crush-- while Crowley & Aziraphale are the show's example of passion in its fuller, richer meaning of romantic, erotic love. So now that we eliminated the idea that Crowley is talking about having seen an example of this vavoom he's talking about in a movie-- I mean, 'Kiss Me Deadly' is totally a movie Crowley saw once so he might have first heard the phrase in it, like many people did but there's no vavoom itself the way Crowley describes it in the film, just the phrase-- but yeah, now that we've eliminated the idea that Crowley got his idea from a film, we can say with relative ease that he's talking about something he personally experienced. I think we can all agree that if he did, it was with Aziraphale and the purpose of him bringing it up in the scene is not just as a suggestion to solve the issue of needing to matchmake The Shop Lesbians but as a way of being seductive towards Aziraphale.

This is also part of 'Kiss Me Deadly' in that Crowley here is the Velda to Aziraphale's Hammer. Hammer is preoccupied with the mystery. Velda tries to help him solve it but is also seeking his romantic attention the whole time and being rebuffed in favor of the mystery. It's darker in the film, as you'd probably expect, since it's film noir, and Aziraphale is actually subtly playing back in GO S2. In GO, it's mostly played off as Crowley, kicked out of bed since the religious family are in the guest room lol, continuously making overtures towards Aziraphale to torment him a little for the whole Gabriel situation but also mainly just because he likes to and he misses him. (It has been, like, maybe 18 whole hours lol.) He continues it into later in the day when Muriel is in the bookshop and Aziraphale is a little more overtly playful then but he is in the pub scene as well. All of this also ties into the fact that Aziraphale wants to drive The Bentley but again, that's a whole other meta. Going to stay focused on the kiss here...

So what we're saying is that, in the scene in The Dirty Donkey, Crowley does that whole lean and the sexy hands and that super posh voice he does from time to time to seduce Aziraphale, and describes their first kiss back to Aziraphale when asked to come up with a romantic solution to help their neighbors realize they are in love. Specifically, Crowley says this:

Whew. *fans self* Jesus, Crowley... No wonder why Aziraphale thought you could help The Shop Lesbians. That? Was romantic...

The key thing I love about this is that while everything he says lends itself to the idea of a kiss, he doesn't actually explicitly say that until the later scene in the back room when Muriel is in the bookshop-- the "one fabulous kiss" part. It's evident later on when he explains the plan to Jimbriel and when he puts it into action that his intent is to trigger a scenario that might prompt Maggie and Nina into kissing and when the awning collapses, he feels like he failed at the overall Vavoom. He did, however, see it working from across the street, such were the fireworks, when they looked into each other's eyes and what's sweet and also very hot about this scene in the pub is that the looking into each other's eyes is the key bit of The Vavoom to Crowley. The kiss is what happened as a result of looking into each other's eyes. The romance of the gaze and the passion of the kiss = The Vavoom but the latter without the former isn't the whole rapturous, perfect moment and Crowley is into this moment. He's still weak in the knees over the thought of it.

And what he says happened in it? They looked into each other's eyes and realized they were made for each other? Crowley thinks that. He says that, flat out, to Aziraphale. Crowley. Who was abandoned by the God who was supposed to love him believes that same God created he and Aziraphale for each other. That they're fated, destined soulmates. And that they both knew it, in that moment when they were taking shelter from a sudden rainstorm together, under a canopy, and they gazed into each other's eyes and then

Yes, I am aware that he says "humans" in that bit in the pub scene. He's referring to Nina & Maggie but also he and Aziraphale have a tendency to refer to their love for one another in human terms in different scenes throughout the series, which is probably a whole other meta and *refocuses on finding this damn kiss here*...

So Crowley-- while heavily emphasizing the words "together" and "canopy", both for maximum sexiness and to lead us in the correct direction lol-- tells us what's needed in this scene, right? We need a sudden rainstorm, a canopy, them wet from the rain and taking shelter, Crowley's glasses to be off or he's in a situation to be able to take them off (ironically, unlike he was when he was in the pub while he's talking about all this erotic gazing), and then we have all this gazing into a very vavoom-y, very passionate first kiss.

So, what scenes seem at all remotely tied to things Crowley describes for The Vavoom? There are three scenes that jump out immediately-- and it's none of them lol. They *are not kidding* about quite literally 'three cowrie shells and a lone caraway seed'. There are three scenes that they want you to think could be connected to this and be distracted by to complete their sleight of hand trick. They want you to look towards Aziraphale's hand and not up his sleeve, so to speak.

So the three cowrie shells scenes here are Before the Beginning, Eden, and the Job minisode. Why? They are the scenes that involve Crowley and Aziraphale and some form of a canopy, which is one of the two words in Crowley's whole Vavoom moment that he heavily emphasizes. So it's not Before the Beginning and it's not Eden and why? Because we're missing the other word Crowley heavily emphasizes-- *together.* Crowley and Aziraphale took shelter from a sudden rainstorm *together* under a canopy. That's the set up. But Before the Beginning and Eden-- the first scenes our minds run to-- are not this because they are sheltering *one another* but not sheltering *together*. One of them is exposed to the rain each time.

There's an additional possibility that is thrown into the mix that is tied to these two scenes, which is the S2 announcement poster-- the one that features Crowley and Aziraphale on Whickber Street in the rain. That one is also out because Crowley is being sheltered from the rain by Aziraphale with a tartan umbrella (ridiculously adorable, I agree lol)-- but they're not both sheltering together. That one feels like it was designed just to fuck with us, especially because Crowley's hair in it is, for some reason, at Eleven Years Ago length in it. It's almost like it exists to both be cute and to, after the season is over, make us go wait... was it then? (It was not then.) More distractions. Ok, so, then what about the Job minisode?

Is it ox rib night? This seems to have some elements at play-- there's a roof and a storm and them together and all-around kiss vibes-- but it's actually not this, either. That said? Job is connected to it in a big way and helps prove my theory here so we're going to come back to it. I'll eliminate it here by pointing out that when Crowley defends The Vavoom as a possibility for Maggie & Nina to Aziraphale, he says "get humans wet and staring into each other's eyes" and "humans" in that bit is them, even if they are not fully. This eliminates the Job minisode as The Vavoom because it confirms that Crowley & Aziraphale did get wet as they went to shelter from the storm. In the Job minisode, they never go out in it. So, Job is out, too.

Ok, so then how do we find the one scene that unlocks this and points us towards the answer hidden in plain sight in front of us?

What is the one scene that really should tell us more about The Vavoom? How about the one wherein Crowley partially recreates it?

The Awning of a New Age is the lone carraway seed. Maggie & Nina paralleling Crowley & Aziraphale. What can we learn about what happened with Crowley & Aziraphale from what happened in this Maggie & Nina scene?

We already know that Crowley feels like he partially failed at recreating The Vavoom for them. It was meant to lead into a kiss and then the awning collapsed. That is what is different from Crowley & Aziraphale's first kiss but Crowley was delighted by the gazing, which we already know to be the very important bit of this here. Off of this, we can conclude that there's obviously a parallel of this bit for Crowley & Aziraphale and this is where the parallels in the scene stop. That means that what happens *before* the gazing moment in The Awning of a New Age scene is important because that's the parallel. So, what's happening while Crowley spots them together outside and starts up the rain? They're talking, right? And what are they talking about?

They're talking about one of them-- Nina-- having a partner who is unreasonably upset. Nina is anxious about it. She doesn't blame Maggie for it, as it's not Maggie's fault. It's also not Nina's own fault and what Lindsay wants from Nina is confining and abusive. Lindsay, we learn, is cruel. We decide in this scene really how much we don't like Nina with this woman and that we want her to be with nice Maggie who is sweet and supportive and is over the moon for her.

On the surface, this would seem to be absolutely nothing like any Crowley & Aziraphale scene we've ever seen, right? Fooled by what is on the surface-- modern lesbians in London Soho, one of whom has a romantic partner-- this seems to be a plot Crowley & Aziraphale have never had. Except, that it's not. It's a parallel to one you'll remember.

One, paralleling sentence here for you...

God's a bit tetchy...

Awning of a New Age unlocks that Lindsay being unreasonably angry and dolling out insane punishment for no actual misdeeds is a parallel to God during The Flood. God was Aziraphale's Lindsay-- the unseen, abusive partners, sending down their words and marching orders and causing distress. Crowley approached Aziraphale like how Maggie approaches Nina. Aziraphale half-heartedly tries to defend God the way that Nina half-heartedly tries to defend Lindsay but both pretty much give up in the face of Crowley's and Maggie's sane responses and support. The agreement that the present situation-- Lindsay about to abandon Nina, God about to abandon her creations in The Flood-- is horrible and unjust. They connect over the lack of justice. The Flood scene we saw ends as the rain begins, with Crowley and Aziraphale both looking up as it starts to fall.

Maggie and Nina get further-- they get to the first half of The Vavoom, in parallel. We haven't seen that yet with Crowley & Aziraphale. (Maggie & Nina also didn't have to go stop and save a bunch of people first lol.)

So how do we know that The Flood was the first kiss?

How do we know that Crowley and Aziraphale first kissed in Ancient Mesopotamia in fucking 3004 B.C. and have been vavoom sorted gone on each other ever since?

Because it happening in the aftermath of saving lives in The Flood would then mean it meets every one of the elements Crowley describes. They get wet from the storm. They will work to save everyone, which is evident from Aziraphale being dead fucking certain in the Job minisode that Crowley was a sweetheart who wasn't going to kill any goats or kids. How would he know this for sure? Saying that what God was doing was terrible in The Flood scene isn't enough for Aziraphale's surety by Job. That means that Mesopotamia and The Flood is the first time they teamed up. It means that Crowley saved people and animals during it. It more than likely means that he did so in a way similar to what he does during the Job minisode-- he transformed them into something that could survive the storm, probably rocks or something. (Big Medusa vibes lol.) But what would happen then? Crowley and Aziraphale would have to *stay through the storm to turn the people back*, right?

So, they'd need to seek shelter from the rainstorm. Under a canopy that could survive the storm. One they can both step back under and bump into one another beneath. Most likely, it's an actual canopy in original meaning of the word-- the shelter of trees. I think one of them (Crowley) bolted afterwards, based on the Job minisode, which we'll get to again in a second, and from under a canopy would be the easiest way to just be able to leave during a storm. (They did not spend the Biblical 40 days and 40 nights under that canopy or they almost certainly would have wound up having sex, which the show is suggesting in other scenes didn't happen for awhile after this which is also another meta lol.) But there's also another reason for trees that kind of cracks me up.

Remember when Aziraphale comes back from Edinburgh in S2 and, before he left, they had their whole Our Car/Our Bookshop thing and Crowley's been peeved for a day now over how Aziraphale got to go adventure in The Bentley and he got to wear a cardigan and babysit their former attempted murderer? And about how what he's really playfully irritated over is that he keeps trying to use Operation Shop Lesbians to turn Aziraphale on by mentioning their Vavoomy first kiss and Aziraphale is, kind of hilariously in retrospect, just totally tormenting him by barely indulging him on it? What happens when Aziraphale comes back from his trip?

Crowley-- genuinely-- says "there you are-- I was worried something had happened to you" and he's off-camera for a moment as he does so and the camera is on Aziraphale, who kind of seems like he would like one of Crowley's kisses about now. But what does Aziraphale get in place of where a kiss could have gone?

A face full of plants lol.

In their box, so that when he handed them to Aziraphale, they hung over his head like a canopy.

Don't wanna talk about The Vavoom, angel? Fine. You're just getting the trees. Mwah. *goes to his car and is all did you misssssss me kissy face*

Aziraphale, in old married bitch mode:

Finally, there's that Ancient Mesopotamia is, chronologically, the last scene so far in which Crowley is not seen wearing glasses, which is essential because Crowley-- while wearing his glasses in the pub lol-- describes the key bit of The Vavoom as involving staring into one another's eyes, which Crowley & Aziraphale can't do if Crowley has his glasses on. Since Crowley wears his glasses in approximately 87% of Good Omens, it means that the answer is in a scene where he's either not wearing them at all or could be seen as able to take them off. Mesopotamia meets that criteria. But there's still one more thing that can really hammer home the idea of this The Flood, Part 2 being their first kiss and that's going to be how we end up back at the Job minisode again.

Go back and think of the Job minisode again but now with the idea that the last time they saw one another-- ages before it-- they shared this moment of wildly passionate vavoom and look at how it recontextualizes the entire minisode.

Start with when they first see each other again. Where did *that* Aziraphale come from? He's teasing him.

The Aziraphale in Before the Beginning and in Eden and in the first bit of The Flood that we've seen is more anxious. He's not afraid of Crowley and he's definitely attracted to him but he's distracted by the dangers of what is happening while they're talking. Suddenly, he jumps from the Aziraphale of The Flood to the Aziraphale of the Job minisode. This one is flirtier. This one is literally like all so you never called-ing Bildad the Shuite lol. He's all "last time I saw you was... The Flood?" like he doesn't know and Crowley is all tight nod ohfuckit'shim and also ohfuckit'shimhavemissedhimsomuch and hiding behind his sunglasses-- Bildad is the first appearance of the sunglasses, chronologically, so we go from the Vavoomy gaze to Crowley hiding his eyes... this then all moves into the courtyard scene after a few moments...

Oh, what's this now? The only scene in the whole series in which Aziraphale asks Crowley to take his glasses off? And he does? So quickly-- intentionally-- that his expression from before is still on his face and it's just nothing but naked want like he's saying oh you wondered how I was looking at you from behind these this whole time? yeah, it was like this... Aziraphale is straight up asking for more vavoom. Take the glasses off. Look me in the eye and tell me you want this and yeah, sure, they're talking *on the surface* on *one level* of their conversation about whether or not Crowley is exhibiting serial killer tendencies and wanting to kill small animals and kids but, really, this scene is also the formation of their coded way of speaking to one another. Crowley's "I want to. I long (pause) to kill the blameless kids of Job the way I killed his blameless goats" and then lifting just enough of the magic to let Aziraphale see that he had actually not killed the goats at all but had actually faked their deaths, indicating that that was his plan for saving the kids as well... Well, it also means that *all* of what Crowley just said to him was coded. That's the weird pause after "I long" that breaks it into two sentences. It makes the second level of their conversation that Crowley whipped off his glasses, gazed into Aziraphale's eyes, and said I want to, I long... meaning, I want you, I want to kiss you again, I long for you...

But the bit of the Job episode that sells me on The Flood being The Vavoom is actually the bit just after Crowley miracles himself, Aziraphale, the kids, Jemimah's pot (because he's so not a serial killer, he saved the damn pot lol), the wine (because fuck that little Influencer Brat of Job-- Crowley's not about to kill a kid but he absolutely will drink the last of his wine for treating Aziraphale like a whore lol), and the food down to the cellar and started iguana-ing the kids. Why this bit? Because Aziraphale is fucking giddy and is just tormenting the living fuck out of Crowley.

He's all "I knew it!" and when you first watch the scene, right, you could think he means he knew that Crowley would save the kids. Yet, he already knows that by this point-- that's what the courtyard scene was. That's why he's yelling that he's "QUITE SURE" when Crowley asks him if he is (and calls him "angel" for the first time when doing so) while he's setting everything on fire just a moment before. Obviously, Aziraphale is happy that Crowley didn't kill the kids but what he's all I knew it *smug smile, actually fucking wiggling with flirty joy* about is that Crowley wanted to be alone with him again and would find a way to make it happen because what's the plan? The one that Aziraphale is totally teasing him about?

Aziraphale is going on about how oh, this is *Satan's* big plan, huh? A *big storm*? He loves every minute of it and he also really loves Crowley getting very close to him-- kissable close-- and being all "ooh aren't you brilliant?" when Aziraphale was acting smug. When did Crowley get that comfortable getting that close to him?

But yeah, Aziraphale loving every second of Crowley saving the kids, turning them into sightless/soundless iguanas, and sending a storm over the land for the night while keeping the two of them dry in a little cellar canopy so they can be alone together again-- essentially, repeating a version of The Vavoom scenario, as he'll still be trying to do millennia later... Aziraphale thought that very romantic and had no problem flirtily teasing the hell out of Crowley for it. Crowley's game is as ancient as Bildad the Shuite lol.

So yeah, what we're saying here is that there's a The Flood, Part 2 and that it's likely in S3. I actually wouldn't be surprised if it opened S3, since the first two seasons are opened with the other canopy-themed firsts-- the two first times they met, really, in Before the Beginning and Eden, both with the wing canopy-ing of one another-- so S3 could be the tree canopy and their first kiss. The Flood also seems likely to return because of how it ties thematically to the whole end of the world of S3's Second Coming plot.

One aspect of this theory that I really like is also that it means that Crowley was more female-presenting during their first kiss (which also goes along with the feminine energy sometimes associated with the phrase "vavoom"/"vavavoom") but also that when they next see one another in the Job minisode, Crowley is the more male-presenting Bildad the Shuite... and Aziraphale is really just into all of it. He's just into Crowley, full stop. We already know he is but I like the idea of it tied to their early days and showing it unfold a bit and how it's just all fine by Aziraphale, who just loves this being and is happy to see them and get to be alone with them again. It's very sweet and romantic.

I guess the last thing to say is that if this is true, we're all going to have a field day redoing the psychoanalysis of this bit below, aren't we?

#ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #good omens theory #vavoom

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canyourfavesurvivecastledracula · 3 months

Note

Buffy

This was literally the opening to season 5! However, their Dracula is not our Dracula, and that fact may well get Buffy into trouble...

(As an aside, my third crackiest Dracula theory is that the woman who tries to assault Castle Dracula all by herself on May 24th and then gets eaten by wolves was the Slayer, and she bequeaths her Slayer Powers to Jonathan when she names him "monster" with her dying breath and that's why he's Like That in the back half of the novel... but I digress)

The two big differences between Dracula and your run of the mill Sunnyvale vampire in terms of lore are that Dracula is not allergic to sunlight and Dracula is not repelled by crosses. Buffy may expect her little silver cross to protect her and get overconfident. (Dracula also differs by being an Evil Wizard but, Buffy has fought wizards before too). Also we know (though Buffy may not) that Dracula won't dust when she stakes him - she also needs to cut off his head.

On the other hand everything about Buffy is designed for one purpose: to slay vampires specifically. She alone in her generation has the power to fight vampires. That means she is definitionally Dracula's match in strength and speed. Now the Slayer is not immune to vampiric mesmerism, but she may be more than usually resistant to it. I am willing to say that she could be mesmerized if the vampire is putting active effort into it, but not via the passive trance effect while the vampire is asleep, again because slaying vampires is what she's for. The ...gumption to actually go ahead and slay the vampire seems like a pretty essential ingredient if you're building a person who that's their whole job.

Similarly, while it took Van Helsing a three foot railway stake and a blacksmith hammer weilded by his beefy old man arms to put down the Girlies, I am willing to stipulate to Buffy's ability to shove Mr. Pointy or any other glorified stick through an undead sternum with her biceps alone. She can have that. She's The Vampire Slayer.

I think if Buffy comes in playing the ditzy cheerleader she'll be fine. If she understands that this is Dracula, he is not just some cold open disposable mook, and she has to approach with caution, she can pull this off. Like, if she sees Dracula as a real threat, she'll accept the old lady's crucifix, because you can't have too many weapons. If she doesn't, she might be like "no thanks, I've already got one" and be in for a nasty surprise when Dracula just doesn't work like that.

I have to assume that if Buffy the Vampire Slayer is coming to Castle Dracula, it's for the express purpose of Slaying Dracula. If she can misdirect him long enough to find his tomb she's got him. Because of her unique supernatural identity, I don't think he'd be able to turn aside her blow while asleep - that, she's not going to miss with the shovel or contract brain fever about it. And Buffy is very good at improvised weapons. She's someone who would have the idea to snap the handle for Free Stake. I think she can kill Dracula - if she can remember or figure out to cut off his head. And the Girlies she can take hand-to-hand, mistform or no.

Buffy's worst enemy is frequently herself. There's a lot of points in the series where because of one thing or another she's either over- or under-confident to a self-destructive degree. But the types of insecurities she has are not going to be terribly accessible to Dracula I think? Inability to get a date to the prom is just not on his radar of problems it is possible for a person to have. And if you trap Buffy in a creepy castle long enough you're just going to make her angry, and that tends to cancel out most of the depression, at least temporarily.

So Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer, can survive Castle Dracula because that's literally what she's for.

#buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #buffy summers #buffy vs dracula #is I think the actual name of the episode #vampire hunters #children

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n3xii · 2 months

Text

Today's reading will focus on:

-your greatest strengths and abilties

-your "weaknesses" and how they can be leveraged to be skills. you have three pokemon cards to choose from.

CARD ONE

strengths and skills:

when I look at your cards I feel like im looking at someone who has been at rock bottom and knows how to talk themselves (and others) out of a low point. You know how to extract lessons from situations others would see as a ''failure." in your world giving up doesn't exist, any "failure" is just a bigger, overarching lesson that helps you get closer to success. I feel like one of your strengths is being able to see things from both a higher perspective, and as the perspective of someone who has been at rock bottom. Its like you have both a helicopter view of a situation, and a on the ground view as well. This dual understanding allows you to help other people on a deeper level where no one else has been able to reach them. you help others understand their situation from a higher perspective but also from the perspective of someone whos ''been there.'' this skill reminds me of a Lenord cohen lyric where he describes Jesus, "and ..he realized only drowning men could see him." You can connect with people who have never had anyone meet them where they are, because you know how to guide them out of the waters. you have birds eye view which provides a greater understanding of a turbulent situation and its purpose without loosing sight of how it feels to be at ''rock bottom" on a personal, intimate level.

weakness and how it can be a strength:

Your weakness has to do with maintaining objectivity and balance. because you know so intimately how others may feel when they are at rock bottom, maintaining the boundary of not accidently going back down can be something that hinders you. But at the same time, this can be a strength in the sense that you feel very strongly for them, you want to stand up for them and find a fair conclusion. Your sense of justice may make your biased at times, but it also makes you motivated

CARD TWO

your strengths and skills

you can see beyond LIES and MISTRUTHS, you're someone who sees through anything thats unclear and confusing. you know when someone is trying to misdirect you and to confuse you, you have an uncanny sense of when something isnt adding up. i also feel that you can cut through extra details and bluff to get to the point of something, you dont mince words and you communicate very well regardless of the medium you choose.

weaknesses and how it can be your strength

you may not come from money, or you may not come from a background that gives you a soft cushion for you to fall back on. lacking a solid foundation may be something you consider a weakness about yourself, but this is actually something that can be your biggest strength- i know many people who come from BIG money. im talking Mercedes car before they even got an official license. Their privilege does help them in life. HOWEVER, they have no work experience, no applicable skills, no understanding of what its like to work 8-12 hours a day. they have never made a resume as they have literally never worked a job. I used to think this was something to envy but then I realized something pivotal: when their main providers die and that foundation goes away, they will have to learn skills many of us learned at 15-16 years old in their twenties or even thirties. that sounds like my worst nightmare.

when you dont come from that type of comfort, you have to learn to rely on yourself. this is a strength that makes you more powerful than alot of people in this world because you know how to build your own stability instead of having it provided for you. you will create your own legacy.

CARD THREE

strengths and skills

im getting the sense that you're very good at entertaining yourself, you have a magnetic sense to you that could attract others to you but its like you prefer your own company. Your passions, creativity and humor are enough to supply you with enough entertainment for a lifetime. you dont rely on other people to do this for you, you know how to make yourself laugh, how indulge in your passions, how to make yourself smile. You are your own sun, literally, my intution compared you to the sun lol

your weakness and how it can be a strength

you're very analytical, alert and aware of your surroundings. this may make you overly cautious, anxious but at the same time, its a strength to have the awareness that you possess. You're quick and on your feet, its difficult to catch you off guard. your focus may be pulled in several directions at once, but still, you have keen senses. I feel like you process stimuli very quickly, its may be a weakness in the sense that its hard to process it all at once, but it also makes you very difficult to catch off guard. You notice details others wouldnt, you hear things others cant.

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tarjapearce · 7 months

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Omg, your asks are back open, I just want you to know that I can’t stop thinking about your punk miguel post god damn. If you could write some more of that that would be very cool 🥺👉👈 Only if you want to though!!! I love you

art by @bumbleboots_art on Ig

Warnings: Angst, mild physical assault, fluff, suggestive towards the end.

Miguel

Punk Miggy

Pt. 1

Ever since Miggy appeared through a portal into your lives, things had been chaotic.

You needed to believe things were chaotic good, but with two Miguels you truly didn't know what to expect. Your grumpy faced Miguel often barked orders with a strategy in mind, while Miggy just gave in the heat of the battle and things somehow ended up working.

But at the end of the day everything resumed into a bunch of

"Te dije que hicieras caso!" (Told you to obey)

"I obey orders from none. You specially"

God, as handsome as they were, they were annoying. The constant clashing had also played a huge part in your almost-lover/boss situationship with you. Everytime they bickered like loud vexing parrots, you left them be.

At the begining it was fun to watch them rant and banter, but as things evolved into something more tense and borderline dangerous, your own share of mental force was drained.

You barely hung out with them anymore, adding to the already snapping short temper of your Miguel.

Miggy looked suspicious, and truly wondered if things had been too much for you to not be around.

His eyes however widened in knowing pain as a flurry of memories paraded on his mental runway. He watched Miguel, or at least another variant of him, having and enjoying a little girl he knew so well. Little Gabriella.

"Stay away" He growled, but how could he?

How he could do such thing when another variant of his little girl was there, happy on his shoulders, freshly out of a soccer game.

His own Gabriella loved hearing him play the guitar, just as much as he loved serenading her. His Gabriella loved to make patches for him to add at his jacket. The two had matching patched up vests. In every universe his little girl was beautiful and loved. Like it should be.

"I fucking told you to stay away!" Miguel growled as his punk counterpart held his hands in defense while dodging a hurling chair thrown his way

"I lost her too, Y'know?" Miggy laid on his chair as Miguel grabbed him by the collar of his vest. Fangs bared, tight grip and nose flaring.

"I miss her too."

With a grunt, Miguel let him go.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"C'mon, jefazo. You might fool everyone under your command. Even our princesita. But you don't fool me. I am you, remember? Estás bien pendejo si crees que puedes engañarme." (You're stupid if you think you can fool me.)

"She's a constant reminder of what I do." Miguel pointed at the screens, "And why people should fucking follow orders."

Miggy rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Could you shop talking about work second for a moment? Let's focus on-"

"She's gone. Nothing to focus on, besides the multiverse."

"I know what it feels like. To suddenly lose-"

"Tu?! Tu no tienes ni una puta idea de lo que se siente!" (You had no fucking idea to what it feels like!)

Miguel roared, as Miggy frowned with a scowl only to his chest to bump against his, retaliating.

"¿Crees que no, cabrón? I lost her due an asshole policeman doing a misdirected gunshot just cause he mistook me for a criminal. He shot in the air, and it got her. It was aimed at me!" (You think I don't, dipshit?)

He palmed his chest before ripping the velcro patch Gabriella had made for him and tossed it on his hands.

My favorite Rockstar

"You fucking think I don't know how powerless you'd feel while watching your little girl dying right before your very eyes?! "

"Al menos tuviste algo que sepultar." (At least you had something to burry)

Miguel mumbled and his punk counterpart stilled.

"She vanished in my hands." Red and blue clad shoulders slumped heavily. A burden he still carried to this day.

Silence stretched for a bit too long, before Miguel sighed and turned his back on him.

"You stepped in when none wanted to."

Miggy rubbed his neck as he offered his best comfort words.

"That's what a real father does."

Miguel cleared his throat and turned to face him "We wished we could save everyone."

"But we can't." added Miggy with a solemn face.

"Now you understand why I do what I do?"

"I've always understood that, though guy. Still, is fun to give you shit for it"

Miguel dismissed him with a roll of his eyes, but a newfound level of mutual respect settled between the both.

"Specially when our princesita was caught in the middle of our antics."

"Again, there is no ours in here. Give her space."

"I think we've given her enough of it."

"No."

"Yes"

Miguel grunted, annoyed as he followed him.

-----

"No, no, that's not how you do it."

"It's my turn, I kiss her however the fuck I want to."

Bossman Miguel spoke as he cupped your reddening cheeks, making your flushed lips, that glistened over a new make out session invited him to deliver another desperate and breathless kiss.

Meaty lips guided yours in a pace you've grown to know well, just as Miggy nuzzled your neck playfully. The tip of his nose roaming up and down, for him to give a gentle nip at your earlobe.

You groaned into Miguel's mouth, and whimpered as you begged for air.

How had you ended up in this predicament after such a parkour of emotions displayed between them? Lyla had shown you their conversation, glad at least they learned how to share something that found them a common ground.

And then Miggy had waltzed in your work bay, smothering your lips with a breathtaking kiss as an apology for the troubles caused and it only triggered Miguel, that showed him what a real kiss was.

And now it all resumed into this moment. The three sitting on your couch, that sometimes acted as your bed, taking turns to make out with you.

Miggy's turn arrived as he turned your face, placed a gentle hand on your cheek and kissed you. It was soft and chaste at first, but then his tongue pried your mouth open. Soft and moist muscles fighting for a chance to top you, and he did.

Earning a lovely and delicious mewl from you. Rough and calloused hands roamed up your sides and waist

"Let her go, that's enough"

Miguel grumbled as he had to pry away your needy lips from his counterpart.

"Who did it best, cariño?"

Your head felt like it had detached from your body and floated like a balloon as your Miguel nipped at your neck softly and Miggy mumbled the sweetest things to your ear. You certainly couldn't decide, even if your life depended on it.

"A tie."

Both scowled.

"Guess we'll have to find out differently, then."

Miguel's steely stare fixed on you with a suspicious glint in his eyes, as Miggy licked your earlobe.

Where were the anomalies when you needed them the most?

You gulped at your ongoing demise.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #Miguel x Reader x Punk Miguel #t writes✨#atsv miguel #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel o'hara angst

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idyllic-affections · 4 months

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thoughts on lyney and lynette rn bc i would kill to see little sibling reader with them ,m so normal about them i swear i just dnfgohpjykul

the blood of the covenant.

summary. blood related or otherwise, lyney, lynette, and freminet are among the best siblings to have.

trigger & content warnings. non-descriptive mention of injuries, lyney does Not open up and it causes arguments (not depicted in detail; just briefly mentioned), some mentions of crying.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, hurt/comfort. lyney & younger sibling!reader, lynette & younger sibling!reader, freminet & younger sibling!reader. 2k words. they/them pronouns used for reader. reader is a member of the house of the hearth. reader is only slightly younger than freminet; think a month or two younger.

author's thoughts. almost 6 months later....... your wish is my command 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE A MILLION YEARS TO DO THE AQ...... AND I STILL HAVE ACT 5 LEFT TO DO...... but i think i'm well-versed enough now to write about the twins! and freminet... as a little treat.

lyney is an undoubtedly protective older brother—he doesn't mean anything bad by it, but given his traumatic history and multiple forced partings from lynette... he's grown a bit worrisome. this effect is increased tenfold if his youngest sibling [name] also happened to be sold off to that noble with lynette.

being the eldest means that he is solely responsible for the safety of his siblings (or so he believes—arlecchino herself feels that it's more of a team effort to keep one another safe on missions and in daily life). so, he worries. he knows that all of his siblings are thoroughly capable... but he worries.

tight hugs. god. lyney gives tight and safe hugs. lynette leans more towards fond squeezes—briefly tight, before loosening up into a more gentle hug (she can and will squeeze even tighter than lyney some days, however). and freminet is more prone to hand-holding, little reassuring squeezes akin to lynette's but with [name]'s hand instead of their whole body, but he'll also offer very gentle and soothing hugs if needed.

^ speaking of freminet's inclination to hand-holding, he might clutch their hand if he gets nervous about something... and if they also happen to be a bit shy, as he is, he'll try his best to be as confidently reassuring as lyney is (it doesn't work, but it's the thought that counts, no?). his hand is always open to be held too, though, so if that calms his sibling down... he's more than happy to let them cling onto his hand for a while.

"Are you scared?"

"A little," they murmur quietly, fingers absentmindedly plucking at the threads of their sleeves. "Always a little on missions like these. It doesn't stop me from doing anything, don't get me wrong. I just get... nervous."

Freminet hummed, a soft acknowledgement of what they said.

Then, he held out his open palm, continuing, "Then... you can hold my hand. Until we have to do our jobs."

A bit of their confidence was restored—Freminet could tell, based on the way their downcast expression shifted into something more... neutral. Something more capable of disguising the threat of impending doom, in a way, but he knew that threat was not something for him to worry about. That threat was not for him.

(Some other threat, far more visible on their angry face accompanied by something along the lines of 'Freminet I am going to kill you where you stand Lyney said you ate my leftover food why would you betray me like this' was more likely to be for him.

For the record, Lyney was most certainly a liar. Freminet did not and would not do such a thing to them.

Magic is all about misdirection and trickery, after all. Of course Lyney managed to both misdirect and trick his baby sibling into accusing his other baby sibling of a crime he himself committed.)

They nodded, vastly more confident and assured in themselves, before clasping his hand securely in theirs. His fingers intertwined with theirs, and his thumb absentmindedly ran across their knuckles. "Until we have to do our jobs."

lynette will sneak them sweets when lyney isn't looking... or, tbh, even when he is looking. he scolds her for it every time, but she continues to do it. his chiding has never stopped her before. why would it stop her now?

lynette will also try all kinds of deserts and teas with them!! it's like a bonding activity, in a way. perhaps she and [name] create a little tier list to note down the best bakeries in fontaine and the worst.

"What do you think of this place?"

"Mmh... I don't know." They leaned over to Lynette's side, whispering their secrets ('secrets' meaning criticism that they were too polite to let the bakery owner overhear) into her ear. "Their sweets are kind of... bitter. Maybe the baker was having an off day? I don't know, but it's... not great."

"To the bottom of the list, then," she said simply with no attempt at discretion as she took a sip of her tea. She must have agreed with their criticism, given that she offered no words in defense of the little bakery.

"A— ah?! Lynette, shh! Don't say that so loud!"

kisses!!!! lyney just thinks his baby sibling is the cutest, so he'll fondly pepper their face in kisses if they're okay with it <3 lynette also does this, to a certain extent. it isn't to lyney's level, though. she is far more calm and restrained about it. she may, however, be very inclined to squish their cheeks like a fond grandma might.

it seems... calming for her? she seems to enjoy pinching their cheeks, even if her expression does not show it. maybe it could be compared to a cat kneading its owner. she's also quite fond of giving them headpats for any reason, really—for expressing approval, offering comfort, reassurance...

(it is likely that she picked up said habit from arlecchino.)

anyways.

neither of the twins smother in a belittling way. if [name] is seriously upset by something, or has something of great importance to share (intelligence collected on a mission, perhaps), they both take it very seriously... and if the twins somehow fail to do so, they own up to it.

freminet would be so happy if they wanted to go diving with him! and if [name] happened to dislike the ocean, he would understand, but would want to help them overcome such a fear. he's never going to leave them alone in the water if they're scared. there's nothing to be afraid of, he reassures quietly. why? how is there nothing to be afraid of? well, he will do his best to protect them. he will not let anything bad happen to them.

^ furthermore, freminet would also really love to sit in silence with [name] and toy around with machines and their inner workings. if his sibling isn't adept at it as he is, then he's more than content to quietly teach them and direct them on what to do and how to do it. perhaps there might come a day where they help him out with upgrading pers—whether that be by simply propsing an idea or executing that idea themselves on another machine (it would be so... wrong of them to do something to pers without his explicit permisssion) to visually display what they're trying to explain.

lyney and lynette use their two youngest siblings as something of a practice audience; it helps the twins work out any issues with their tricks, and as a bonus on lyney's behalf, he generally gets to see his little siblings [name] and freminet smile <3

on a more unfortunate note, lyney is notorious for not opening up and not relying on others. this may lead to intense arguments or spats... he may often neglect to apologize verbally (he cannot promise that he won't do it again; he doesn't want to lie to them like that), but he will apologize in other ways—a sudden increase in meaningful gifts for his little sibling, treating them to a meal or multiple meals of their choice, doing menial house chores for them so they do not have to... things of that nature. he feels bad, but he can't act like he won't do it again. he knows he will. lyney is just grateful that [name] is patient with him through it all.

Held out in front of them by their eldest brother was a takeout box from one of their favorite bakeries; he must have asked Lynette about it, they vacantly thought. Taped securely to the top was a Romaritime Flower. Loyalty... was that his way of reassuring them that these little things would not ever truly impact his relationship with and his care for them? They, again, mused that he must have gotten it from one of their other shared siblings—Freminet, if they had to guess.

They frowned. "Lyney..."

He looked a bit worried now. They felt a little bad for inducing that kind of anxiety, but they did not waver. "Do you not like it?"

"I do. It's not that," they reassured, shaking their head as they gingerly took the box from his hands. "I just wish you could rely on us more. You wouldn't need to go through all this trouble to apologize if you just... relied on us. All of us, Father included. That's all."

He doesn't say anything to that.

They gingerly set the gift down onto a nearby table. Then, they turn back to their brother and—to his surprise; he assumed they were still upset with him—wrapped their arms around his waist, head resting on his shoulder. His hands were frantic as they scrambled to secure their place around [Name]'s shoulders.

Lyney squeezed. It wasn't tight enough to hurt them at all, but it was tight enough to put a bit of soothing pressure on their body. Maybe it was another way of his to apologize wordlessly, without committing to the promise of never doing it again, or maybe he was just concerned that they might not forgive him this time and subsequently relieved when they did.

(He should know better after all these years, but... really, what kind of a brother might he be if he didn't worry about making amends with his younger sibling after doing wrong to them?)

It was silent for a moment. They simply basked in the warmth their brother provided, while he basked in the newfound freedom from the weight upon his shoulders that their forgiveness provided him with.

...

Then, they whispered, "You know I love you, right?"

He didn't have a chance to respond before they swiftly untangled themselves from his embrace, swiped his hat from atop his head, and darted out the front of the building that they were in.

Oh, so that's how it is.

He smiled fondly to himself as he waited, offering them a brief headstart.

He would catch them eventually; he always did. However, as Fatui agents... this little game of theirs, some variation of cat and mouse, could go on for hours—days, even, if [Name] happened to be taking it especially seriously.

Well, then. He may as well entertain their whims and antics (and really, they probably got it from him, so he has no right to complain about the monster he made; he often did things of this nature to all three of his siblings, and he had been doing this with them specifically since they were little).

It's the least he can do, he thinks.

lynette can often tell right away if something is wrong with [name]. she notices even the smallest things. at a moment's notice, she is ready to sit at their side and brew tea to share. if they want to talk, she is more than happy to listen, humming quietly every now and then to remind and reassure them that she is paying attention.

should one of [name]'s missions ever go wrong, ending with them injured... their three siblings are by their side as soon as possible, and lyney's probably first, followed shortly by both lynette and freminet.

they all want to know what happened, of course, but they don't push it if [name] isn't feeling up to the task of talking. their health and comfort always comes first.

freminet will offer pers as comfort, if they need something to hold that isn't a pillow. it tends to make him feel better, so maybe it will have the same effect on them. he does this whenever they're hurt—mentally, physically, or otherwise. if his sibling is in pain, he'll do what he can to help.

and if tears are shed... archons, they're all so worried :(

tears will never be shed in front of father, of course, but... it's different if it's in front of their siblings. none of them cry often—even very rarely in front of one another—so it is certainly worrisome when it does happen.

and though tears are rarely shed in front of one another, lyney, lynette, and freminet are all more than ready to help soothe the soul of their youngest sibling, regardless of whether that means letting them rant their heart out or simply sitting in silence by their side.

please consider reblogging and leaving kind tags or comments, it helps me out quite a lot!

#aphelion's headcanons 🌸#favoniuslibrary #astronetwrk #platonic genshin impact #platonic genshin x reader #platonic genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #lyney x reader #lynette x reader #freminet x reader #platonic lyney x reader #platonic lynette x reader #platonic freminet x reader #genshin impact x reader #platonic genshin

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 25 days

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Out of curiosity, do you happen to know why Jade is so secretive about himself? I think it's no one's surprise when I say that Jade is more often than not secretive/guarded about himself. Jade is a master in hiding his emotions/thoughts. And even when he's revealing any information about himself; I feel suspicious about it.

So i always wondered why he's so guarded/secretive about himself? It's either the trope "intriguing mysterious character" going or he genuinely has a reason why he likes to be in control EVEN with his own feelings. Maybe it's a Merfolk thing? Maybe he's scared of being vulnerable?

At the end of the day, it's only speculation why he's the way he is. I think the only genuine thing we know he likes is mushrooms.

What do you think?

Know? No. I don't think anyone really "knows" why Jade is secretive about himself. Maybe not even the devs themselves know!

Let's speak in terms beyond the trope he fits into; I feel it can be reductive to say, "the character is this way because that's what he's supposed to be by design!" To begin with, I don't think it's a merfolk trait because we do not see the same characteristics in his twin (who openly blurts out secrets, including his own UM) nor in Azul (who technically is also secretive, but has a backstory which explains the insecurities behind his behavior). I also would not frame Jade's mysteriousness as a matter of being "scared" of vulnerability. Yes, he does not like to be in situations where he is vulnerable or others can take advantage of him. However, I don't believe this disdain comes from a fear of intimacy or of showing others his "true" self. Jade has made clear that he finds it easier to manipulate others and to gain their trust if they perceive him to be a non-threat. (Look no further than his Ceremonial Robes vignettes, where he tricks a fellow vice dorm leader, Trey.) It’s also true that he enjoys teasing others and purposefully dropping vaguely worded phrases to alarm others—this is how he has fun, and he maintains this with people he is close with (Azul and Floyd). Is it considered “not being himself” when he is still calm mysterious with them? Personally, I don’t think so. He’s being open with them in his own way.

I think a lot of the ways Jade acts can easily be attributed to his upbringing. We've received several hints that the Leech brothers' father is quite wealthy and influential, and may be involved in shady dealings. Furthermore, he and his twin grew up in the Coral Sea, which is described to be frigid and boasts dangerous creatures such as sharks. Jade was therefore raised in an environment where self-preservation was a priority and he was taught many skills to adapt to his surroundings and any scuffles he may get into (from martial arts to lock picking and undoing knots). If we run with the popular “Leech mob family” theory, their father would have enemies and even business associates trying to get a one-up on Papa Leech—possibly via his sons. Jade would have to be pretty alert and capable to deal with such encounters. It’s also these situations which may have led to him forming a distrust towards most others or feeling a need to conceal or misdirect his real thoughts/emotions. (Anyone could be an enemy or trying to use him for their own means.) This thinking could have developed into a kind of coping mechanism in which he is the one to first outdo and betray the other to prevent being the victim himself. He likes having the leg up on others; that control is a “security blanket”. It can be interpreted like a survival tactic that translated over to land after so many years of living in a treacherous sea.

I also believe that this background has had an impact on how Jade’s hobbies and other behaviors. He has explained before in his Birthday Boy vignettes that he likes terrariums because the management aspect gives him a sense of control, which is relaxing. He also tends to be an enabler and not intervene if he thinks the situation is funny or engages in it himself (such as when Azul is being teased), which are more subtle ways he entertains himself. Thus, Jade more often than not doesn’t act overtly and maintains that “support” role both in an effort to divert from his own shadiness and as the result of his upbringing in which he has to be alert for survival.

Now, the big question you’re probably having right now is “But what about Floyd?! Why doesn’t Floyd turn out like Jade if they basically grew up in the same environment?” Well, that’s simply because they’re their own people (something Floyd himself states) even if they are twins or related otherwise. Growing up in the same household and neighborhood does not guarantee you will have all the same interests or the same personality as a sibling. Floyd learned, adapted, and reacted differently than Jade did. He’s the upstart, the loudmouth, the one to jump to violence as a solution. Jade is not.

I really love the mysterious aspect to Jade. Sure, it feels like we cannot entirely trust anything he says, but I feel that’s part of his intrigue! I like trying to parse out what’s true and what’d false in his dialogue 🫶

#twisted wonderland #twst #Jade Leech #Floyd Leech #Azul Ashengrotto #Trey Clover #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #Tweels #Octavinelle #notes from the writing raven #question

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jaegeraether · 5 months

Text

Sunsets and footballers (Part 34)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (32)

Masterlist (other parts here)

That was not what she’d expected at all. YFN had done her research and put her own puzzle pieces together, though her theory had missed the mark by a significant amount.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

YFN couldn’t even close her mouth.

She walked closer, lightly treading with elegance as if to not scare her away. When she was close, her eyes lingered on the scar cutting her eyebrow with empathy.

YFN managed to find herself and cleared her throat. “Your misdirection was very believable.”

“I was worried the voice would give it away.” She said almost shyly. Her voice was more regal now, less…common? Clever.

YFN’s relief must have been clear, and she didn’t realise herself just how worried she’d been. “And my misdirection was not entirely untrue…” She gestured around her. “This is her house.”

They were standing in the house of JK Rowling. The woman she’d assumed she was meeting. It all made sense, didn’t it? Joe. Lumos. When she’d originally started researching the company, she’d come across the other Lumos, the charity founded by Joe. Though, she made sure to not hold any assumptions going into their meeting.

“Why her?” She asked, knowing it was a little rude to do so. “Why hide behind someone the public hates so vehemently?”

“I needed someone with power, someone rich, someone people could believe had the capabilities of doing so.”

“So Lumos is a branch of her company?”

“No…it’s my company, my money. I spoke to Joe about the idea of using her as a bit of an alias, as well as using the same name as her charity.”

“But…why hide at all?” She really didn’t understand. She was wealthy, powerful and beyond all else… “People adore you.”

“I thought about it, trust me. But how would that look, having me try to lift the women’s game? It would look like a publicity stunt, like they needed me when they don’t. I need them to show that they can do it themselves. They have the motivation, the will, the support and now they have you. At least, I still hope they do?”

YFN was fully aware now that up until this point, she’d been disillusioned as to the identity of ‘Joe’, right down to the reason that she’d chosen her. She was a writer. Exactly what Joe herself would have done. This was a better scenario, though the fact that her guise was the infamous author would not be well received. She didn’t try to understand the complexities of it all. Looking beyond all of that, she knew that the person she’d spoken to on the phone was genuinely passionate. Caring. Hard-working. She understood that she had been a victim of her title and knew deep down that they could accomplish incredible things together.

“They still do...”

“Tea is prepared in the estate room, ma’am.” Benjamin interrupted politely.

“There’s hot chocolate too, YFN.” She promised with a lovely smile that begged to be photographed.

How did she know?

“Thanks, Kate.”

“Cath, please. Only the media calls me Kate.”

“Did you ever have any intention of meeting me?”

To her credit, Catherine was very similar the person she was presented as in public, however the more time they spent together, the more liberated she became with her thoughts. YFN realised how much of a burden it must have been, stuck under the thumb of royal obligation and public expectation, though in this room, there were just the two of them.

“No,” she allowed herself a little smirk as she took a sip of tea. “No, my intention was most definitely to stay invisible in this. And besides you, I plan to keep it that way.”

“You’re not worried about Mark?”

“I knew that hiding behind Joe would mean the possibility of people assuming she was directing this, and furthermore that she would have enemies try to pull her down. She did warn me about Mark. He’s…persistent.”

“A business rival I’m assuming?”

“I believe Joe managed to ruffle his feathers a little with a business deal a few years back. She said he’s forever since been adamant to undermine her achievements, and to make matters worse, he doesn’t care that Lumos is a charity. See, I originally assumed we’d be safe if I created a company with the same name, because who would attack a charity? As it turns out, Mark would.”

“And I’m guessing the idea of you having a personal conversation with him to quietly nip this in the bud is out of the question?”

“Indubitably.”

YFN bit her lip as she thought about the situation she found herself in. She wanted to ask if her husband knew, but knew it was the wrong question for the conversation. What Catherine was doing was separate from that. Separate from her life as a royal, as a mother, as a leader.

“No, William doesn’t know.”

YFN’s eyes shot up to find Catherine’s. David wasn’t wrong, she was intelligent. She had those rare gifts of intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence, the types that YFN felt she also had; the ability to truly understand herself and other people. It was perfect for Catherine’s main role, really.

“A personal project then?”

“Of sorts.”

“With…very high ambitions?”

“Yes.”

The conversation was quick witted and much more was being said in the words they didn’t vocalise.

“I’m Australian, so forgive my lack of knowledge…but I wasn’t aware you were so passionate about football?”

“It does tend to be William’s passion more than mine, however I do love sport. And while football may not be my favourite, it is England’s favourite, and it’s where the change needs to happen first.”

First? Her eyebrows raised. “You plan on expanding Lumos to other sports?”

“Gradually, yes. The focus begins on all things football and will grow to encapsulate all female sport.”

“Not male sports?”

“Potentially in the future, if we ever reach equivalence, however that is not my intention. My main goal is to focus on the female perspective. I find sport to be one of the largest places of gender inequality and male dominance. It’s going to be a tough field to make change.”

YFN couldn't help but feel that her choice of JK Rowling as a hidden alias was detrimental to her success. Catherine read her thoughts again, she seemed to be good at that.

“Joe…is a friend. I’m unsure of your opinion in the matter but I don’t agree with her opinions and I did think that using her would only be of benefit to her if people had dug deep enough to assume she was behind it. “

She wanted the best for Joe, even at the sacrifice of a little face. Even after her controversial opinions. The admiration must have been written on her face from Catherine’s returning look.

“And Joe did also help me choose you.”

“That explains a query of mine. I’m a writer, first and foremost.”

“Please don’t think that I only chose you because it’s what Joe would have done. It’s not. I looked into you and your work meticulously. It took me a long time to find you, and it wasn’t just for your work as a writer. It was the way you interviewed people, the way you approach questioning, your ability to be both affable and determined. You know exactly what you want, and how to get it without sacrificing the comfortability of the people you speak to.”

It was the nicest compliment she’d ever received, and she felt herself blushing a little. Catherine put down her tea.

“Also, I found some of your photography. I understand you moved away from it and over to the publication side of your previous workplace. Photography happens to be a passion of mine. I believe it to be an important artform, and it did motivate me towards pursuing this project. Without it, I wouldn’t be here with you. I’d be off with the other duties that are required of me.”

Catherine had studied Art History, if YFN remembered correctly. It began making even more sense.

“What…is the timeline you had in mind?”

“The only timeline I’ve considered so far is that of football. I want us to have coverage of all of it by the end of next year. I hope that it’s a fully run operation by then, and we can expand into tennis and cricket.”

The hot chocolate did its job then and YFN yawned so hard, she worried she was being rude.

Catherine gave a polite chuckle.

“It’s getting late. We have a few days to talk this over more, Joe is in the US for another week, and I’ve managed to wriggle out of some royal engagements for the next few days. Shall we pick it up tomorrow?”

Things had begun to come even more into focus the next day after they’d spoken a little more. It was her passion project, and one that YFN felt honoured to be a part of. The only people who were aware of it were her Lumos management, Joe, several staff, and now YFN. Catherine’s management team for Lumos was kept small and tight, and their main jobs were not limited to networking throughout the sports, optimising their business and even planning for the future of the company.

In the early morning, they’d all taken a meeting together in the conference room on Zoom. As the meeting began, YFN was surprised to see a few of the individuals had been people she’d met at the charity event. Catherine really did have people everywhere.

“It’s a good thing that it became a necessity to meet.” Catherine admitted. “I think now that we know each other better and you can fully see our goals, we’re going to benefit from it.”

YFN agreed with that. And now that she realised just how much influence, wealth and power were behind the company, her confidence grew as well as her appetite for more.

The meeting went for hours with so many points of business that YFN didn’t really understand. Luckily, they hadn’t expected her to, as her focus was primarily on the actual product they were providing. She hadn’t realised just how much effort went into the secrecy of a company, or the background decisions, compromises, and discussions that she’d previously thought of as trivialities.

The money of course would be noticed by William who knew his wife had a passion project, but didn’t know what. It was her baby. The way she led her group made that very, very clear, and although she wasn’t used to running a company, she was so well-read and had educated herself so well that she wasn’t just a figurehead, she was leading them and not afraid to ask questions to the more experienced businesspeople.

The meeting became interesting when the team unanimously agreed on the expansion of the employees after their successful first round and had already had many candidates lined up which they filtered through together. Catherine encouraged YFN to get involved in that as she actually worked on the ground with them and managed them.

Following that, management went back onto other business details and Catherine used the opportunity to give YFN a phone very similar to her own, and it was purely set up to work with her and the management team. No wonder why she’d always been so quick at replying and holding that boundary between Lumos and her other duties, she’d had an entirely separate phone for it.

With the need for more people, came the eventual agreement for an office space. London made sense as it was central, and most games would be there. They’d already acquired the space and were just waiting for the final go-ahead which Catherine gave that approval for. YFN was grateful that the discussions moved onto design and architecture, furniture and parking which gave her the perfect opportunity to decide how to use the multiple sets of cutlery with her different lunch dishes.

Catherine had laughed at that, and it was warming to see her so relaxed outside of the public eye.

Listening to them talk about the office, she was pleased to see that it wasn’t too far from Lucy’s apartment, knowing it would be convenient, though she knew it would be best for her to stay central in Birmingham for the meantime, just until they became a lot busier. She could deal with the drive until then. Besides, she wondered if Leah and Jordan would be back together anyways. Thinking of that, she messaged Jordan.

YFN: Where's my update??

She was at training so didn’t expect a response until that night, however.

“…background checks.”

YFN’s head shot up. They were talking about background checks for the employees they were deciding on. She wondered how in depth they would be and didn’t have to wonder for long as they began to discuss them in depth. Her eyes widened knowing that they must have done the exact same for her. Catherine noticed that.

“It’s standard procedure, I’m sure you can understand.”

She nodded. Of course, she could understand. They wouldn’t let anyone sit next to or run a business with the future Queen of England.

The day dragged on, though Catherine had made sure they all had several breaks and took the time to show YFN around Joe’s property. It truly was beautiful, yet she couldn’t miss the amount of security who were wandering around the estate, a few with their eyes on the pair.

“Can you…understand why I’m wanting to stay a silent figure in all of this?” She asked gently as they wandered through the garden. It was actually a day of decent weather, the sun poking through the clouds.

“I can, and I respect it. I’m also glad we’ve met. Everything makes much more sense now.”

“Fantastic. Now I know we’ve already agreed to keep this between just us, however there’s Lucy, correct?”

YFN nodded. She didn’t like the idea of keeping anything from her.

Catherine stopped and turned to her, taking her hands gently. She was taller than the little Australian of course, even more so with heels. “YFN…I know what it’s like to have to keep secrets. It’s not fun. I’ve seen it tear relationships and families apart…”

They way she held her eyes and spoke was so… motherly. So royal-like. Beyond that, she could see the pain in her eyes and she wondered just how much this woman had been through.

“I’m okay with you telling Lucy. I don't want your relationship to be affected, and I trust your judgement, but please stress to her to importance of secrecy. One leak and all that we’re trying to accomplish disappears.”

YFN relaxed a little. She could tell Lucy.

“Thank you, Cath. I really appreciate that.”

They were just settling down to dinner when Catherine was pulled aside for a phone call. Their meeting had ended shortly before that, YFN full up on information and motivation for the upcoming work she had to do. She worried a little about Barcelona.

Dory: We may have had sex. Then I cried and kicked her out at 10pm.

YFN choked on mashed potato. How had she managed to choke on the least chokeable form of potato?

YFN: What?!

Dory: When are you home?

Catherine walked back in then looking a little stressed and apologetic.

“I’m so sorry, duty calls back in London. I’m afraid we’ll have to cut this trip short. You’re more than welcome to stay here another day...”

“That’s okay, I can leave tomorrow if that works.”

It did work. Catherine finished her dinner and left apologetically and this time, with a gentle, motherly hug and promises of a bright future working together. It was strange being left in the large house alone with just Benjamin and a few staff wandering around. Her phone buzzed and it was her flight change being emailed, a change to tomorrow morning. YFN checked in and then replied to Jordan.

YFN: I’ll be home midday tomorrow.

She pocketed her phone. Another buzz. She pulled it back out.

Lucy: Hi, little one. Can I call?

#woso #womens football #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso soccer #jordan nobbs #lucy bronze #lucy bronze x reader #engwnt #lionesses #lucy bronze imagine #woso x reader #leah williamson

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divinehedons · 11 months

Note

Hiii I just found you a couple days ago and I LOVE your stuff 😍😍😍

Could you maybe do Manda'lor Din where he sees you holding someone's newborn and it sparks that primal breeding kink? The getting home, he can't keep his hands or mouth off you ,kinda needs to mark you his, primal?

definitely not squealing, kickin', and grinning in bed right now don't look

thank you so much for requesting, one filthy mandal'or!din drabble coming right up below the cut!

you had always cared too much. even din knew it. when the two of you heard of a loyal servant's labour over breakfast, it was you who sprung to action, you who suggested visiting, "if you're not too busy, riduur..." it was you who paced back and forth as you waited for the healers to report, you who barged right in the moment you were allowed to.

what din did not expect, however, was walking in to see you cradle that small bundle in your arms, talking in the smallest voice— joyous, glorious, and brand new. you smiled even wider when the sweet little child blinks awake to watch you. what din did not expect was the flush of heat crawling up his neck beneath his helmet, tilting his head inquisitively at the way you acted. what din did not expect was how perfectly fitted you were for this. for such... domesticity.

was it some form of evolutionary wonder? some anomaly within him, some misdirection of the mind... something, anything, that would describe the ache in his loins, guiding his hands to the hem of your robes that evening. you were mildly drunk from celebration, he could tell by the fluidity in your limbs.

whatever it was... he knew that only you would absolve him. you and every inch of your willing body.

he undresses you as you drunkenly chuckle, tangling your fingers into his hair as you hum. "and who is this before me... the keeper of mandalore? the bounty hunter?" you look at him once and you smirk, making him feel all the more vulnerable and seen. "there it is... the changing of the guards."

he leans down to mark his lips against the crook of your neck, letting you lead him to bed while he slowly strips you naked. he reaches your stomach, weighs it with his hands, and chuckles at the thought of you waddling with his child in your womb.

he eventually answers you with his cock battering your walls, your face in his hands as he confesses. the way he begins to think he should start doing before his maker.

"they've all left." he bites your collar in a way that makes you almost scream. "the mandal'or and the bounty hunter, even the skeptic, cyar'e..." he grits his teeth, feeling his orgasm bubble and rage even stronger beneath his skin.

"they've laid down their arms and surrendered to you."

#din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin smut #din djarin drabble #the mandalorian smut #the mandalorian x reader

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turiluvr · 1 month

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Could I request something (anything) with venti or lyney? 🥹🥹 only if you have time ofc no pressure!!

moonstruck

Swallowing his doubt, the words lodged in his throat finally got out.

— lyney x gn!reader

Lyney recalled that Inazuma had an old phrase that was commonly used in the past to profess their love. It was a piece of trivia he came across after talking to a traveling merchant in Fontaine. He couldn't help but think they were romantic in nature despite their roundabout way of declaring their love. It was a gamble anyway, it all depended on whether or not the other person knew the meaning behind those seemingly meaningless words.

People from Fontaine were romantic in their own way—they often found ways to romanticize any sort of situation and it wasn't difficult for them to come up with their own ways of declaring their love. As a magician, Lyney found himself liking things that were more indirect and roundabout. After all magic was all about misdirection and he was a master at it.

Lynette often told him to just go out and say it without anything veiling his feelings and words. Coming from someone as straightforward as she is, Lyney can only chuckle and remind his sister that it didn't come to him as easily as it did to her. He went out of his way to mention that perhaps even Lynette will have a hard time being forward once she falls in love; they are quite similar, after all. She might find herself tongue-tied the same way Lyney is right now.

But the moon was out and it was shining so brightly to the point where it took his breath away. His mind wandered to the words the merchant told him that time. It was the perfect opportunity to say it—gazing into the sky side by side, the moon was waiting for the words to be uttered and to bear witness to a long awaited confession.

But it's more difficult than he thought it would be. The words are already on the tip of his tongue, begging to be released but the voice is stuck in his throat and suddenly he's having second thoughts about this whole confession attempt. It was laughable, really, he was usually smooth with his words but he can hardly get a word out when it came to you. Especially during times where his words mattered the most.

Then, when he finally looked at you and mustered up the courage, “The–”

“The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?” His lips parted slightly in surprise, his eyes widening when he realized that you took the words right out of his mouth and made it your own. A part of him felt that it was a little unfair for you to steal the spotlight from him, now he's left speechless and wondering if your words carried the same intent as the one inside his head.

He'll take the chances in the end. He didn't know if your words had any meaning—were you declaring your love to him or were you just simply saying the moon looked beautiful? Despite his questions, his mind was already searching for answers he could give you. There was no time for pondering. If you meant it in a way that made his heart leap with joy, then perhaps you'll react just as strongly once he gives his response.

“The moon has always been beautiful.”

*Note: It's a famous phrase in Japan to say "The moon is beautiful tonight" as a substitute for saying "I love you"

There are many variations of responses to the saying however in this case, "The moon has always been beautiful" means "I've always loved you"

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #my writing #lyney #lyney genshin #genshin impact Lyney #lyney x reader

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movedtodykedvonte · 9 months

Text

I know the code shows Gregory talking during the elevator crash but I think it’s important that Cassie outright states she can’t fully trust that the Gregory she’s talking to during the chase is the real Gregory. We also know code in fnaf games has been used to spell out secrete messages, guide or even misdirect us as fans. However, more importantly it has been used as a form of story integration.

Whose to say that the reason the code no longer showed as Grimic but Gregory was to reflect Cassie not knowing who she was actually talking to despite her dependence?

The double text is telling and seeing as a glitch like it has not happened in the dlc before hand unless it was to intentionally show two different entities talking, we could be like Cassie and on the receiving end of not knowing if the real Gregory was the one who dropped the elevator. But the visual clue was our hint to not take that scene as so black and white.

#people say it doesn’t make sense for the mimic to drop it’s only chance of escape but it prioritizes killing #it’s ultimately highly influenced code that follows directives #it’s main directive to dismantle and kill everything and then escape #Cassie of course triggered the first and it didn’t want it’s prey to escape #it was willing to damage itself trying to get her in the elevator if it really wanted out it would’ve just left when it couldn’t find her #such as the needless chase it does in the scooper ending #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf sb #ruin dlc spoilers #ruin dlc #fnaf cassie #fnaf gregory #fnaf mimic #fnaf theory

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clementine-writes-things · 7 months

Note

hey! i saw your post about requests and maaaaybe you’ll be interested in my idea of snape sexting with his gf?🫣 i think he is a master of words and could write some smuttish hot letters/messages to his girl.

xoxo

Hooooooo boy, alright anon, buckle up! This is gonna be a bumpy ride, with my own little twist on it! I dedicate this smutshot to the girls, the gays, and Lana Del Rey...

Summary: You get a little cocky over the phone with your boyfriend Severus, and he decides to 'put you in your place'.

Contents: Smut with plot, strong language, dom!Snape, sub!reader, rough sex at the end, sir kink, professor kink, degradation, praise, and aftercare. Y/n uses she/her pronouns. Snape is like a sophisticated, romantic, and classy Dom in this and I LOVE it.

(Please be nice, I haven't written smut in a very long time so I might be rusty! Also, this was not edited or looked over, so there might be mistakes.)

Word Count: idfk I forgot to check and I'm not counting sorry bitches love u tho💗😍 definitely over 1k tho.

~~~~~~

Utterly, completely, wholeheartedly bored.

Bored.

So extremely bored.

A groan escaped your lips as you rolled over on your stomach, legs in the air. You rested your chin in your hand, grabbing the remote to the tv with the other. Mindlessly, you scrolled through the streaming platforms you had, hoping you'd find something interesting to watch.

You lay on the bed in your boyfriend and yours room, staring up at the ceiling, hoping that if you looked long enough something interesting would happen. Like, maybe, the textured details would turn into stars, twinkling in the dimly lit room. Or, maybe something would fall from the ceiling. It would suck, especially having to fix it, but at least you wouldn't be bored.

"It's October, maybe I should watch a horror movie..." You mumbled to yourself.

'Ding'

Placing the remote down, you turned your head to where your phone rested. Groaning, you got up and walked towards the night stand, unplugging your phone from its charger and smiling when you saw a text from your boyfriend.

Severus: Hello, darling. I am afraid I will not be home tonight at the time I promised. I have last minute papers I must grade.

Your nostrils flared as you closed your eyes in frustration.

You: Are you fucking serious? Severus, you've been coming home late almost every single day this month!

Severus: I know, darling. But, these things happen. It will be an hour at most.

You: Whatever, I don't care. Stay as late as you want.

You tossed your phone on your bed, running a hand through your hair. You knew it wasn't his fault, but it still irritated you. It felt like he didn't spend time with you lately. You really missed your boyfriend. All you wanted right now was a hug.

'Ding'

Sighing, you picked up your phone again. Tapping the notification, your screen changed to the conversation between you and Severus. However, you were caught of guard by what he had sent.

Severus: I hope you aren't getting an attitude with me, my love. Just because you're frustrated does not mean you get to act like a spoiled brat. I am not the one that decides when I stay late and how long. Your attitude is misdirected and I strongly suggest you change it before I get home.

Your eyes widened and your breath hitched slightly. Sitting down on the bed, you had an iron grip on your phone, eyes locked on the text he had sent. Tongue swiping across your lips, your mouth suddenly became dry. Would you dare and toy with him? You were extremely bored beforehand, and this sounded like it would be a lot of fun. You typed out a response.

You: Your suggestion has been taken into consideration and I've decided that I will not listen to it.

Severus: Oh? So, this is a game to you now, is it, my love? A fun little game to keep you entertained?

You: Maybe it is. Is there a problem with that, Severus?

Severus: There will be when I get home.

You: Ok, sure.

Suddenly, a video appeared. Severus had recorded a small video of him flexing his hand, the only lighting being that of the candles he had scattered about his office. The orange hues of the small fires highlighted the slightly visible veins on his hand, making them stand out more than they usually do. Your heart nearly skipped a beat. You thought you were toying with him. But, it turns out that it was the opposite.

You: Holy shit.

Severus: You are lucky I even sent that, I should be focusing on work. Or, would you like me to get home even later due to having to entertain you?

You: No! Please, get your work done. I want you to come home as soon as possible.

Severus: And why is that, my love? Are you truly that easy to arouse? Is my hand all it takes to make your heart swell, your breath hitch, your mouth water, your knees weak?

You: Fuck, Severus. Please, get home as soon as possible. I need you so bad. Please.

Severus: I will take my time with my work, darling. It is you who will have to be patient. You've already gotten yourself in trouble tonight, I suggest you don't push your limits.

You: Ok, I'll be patient. I promise.

Severus: That's my girl. I promise, when I get home I will fuck you like you so desperately want. Now, relax and rest until I get home. You're going to need it.

•••

You had been laying on your bed for the past 30 minutes. The whole time your stomach was in knots. You so badly wanted to touch yourself, it's not like Severus would know. But, you still decided against it. Even if you knew he wouldn't know, you still felt like he would find out. And you did not want to get in any more trouble. If you touched yourself while waiting for him, he might decide against fucking you.

'I need a distraction...'

You yawned, suddenly feeling tired. Though, it was no surprise to you. Last night you didn't get much sleep, if any. Stretching out your legs and arms, you nearly moaned at how good it felt. Glancing over at the alarm clock you had on your nightstand, you read the time.

'9:30 p.m'

You blinked, sleepily. He probably wouldn't be home for another hour. A little sleep wouldn't do any harm. After all, he said to rest because you would need it. Your eyes grew heavy as your head rested against your fluffy pillow. With one last yawn, you succumbed to the comfortable embrace of sleep.

Trudging along the sidewalk, he had finally reached the house he lived in with his girlfriend. Excitement filled his body as he pulled out his house key, which was attached to a lanyard y/n had got him as a joke. It was extremely feminine, which is why she got it as a joke. But, he still used it. He didn't care if he got weird looks because of it. It was soft pink with little white flowers on it. He had actually begun to grow rather fond of it. Any gift from his girlfriend, no matter what it was, he would always treasure.

•••

3rd Pov:

He swiftly unlocked the door, opening it and closing it behind him. Taking off the lanyard, he placed it in the bowl they had kept by the front door on a table in the corner. He slid his shoes off, sighing in relief as he felt the cool wood floor through his socks. Shrugging off his coat, he hung it on the coat rack and walked upstairs. Once he got the the bedroom door, he opened it carefully and smiled when he saw y/n. She lay curled up in a ball underneath a sea of blankets. He chuckled. She had taken 'get some rest' literally.

As he sat on the other side of the bed, she shifted. A low groan left her lips. He leaned over and planted a chaste kiss on her forehead, smiling to himself. Deciding to change into more comfortable wear, he got up and walked to their shared closet. He began to unbutton his shirt when he heard rustling and a slight murmur behind him. A smirk grew across his face.

"I know you are awake, my love. You're terrible at pretending to be asleep." He chuckled to himself.

She groaned, sitting up from her comfortable position on the bed. Stretching out her body, she turned around and faced Severus, noticing that he was just beginning to change his clothes. She shifted in place, already feeling lustful at the sight of him. She had missed him so dearly.

"You look rather comfortable.." He drawled, eyes running over her body.

It was only then did she remember what she was wearing. Even though it was October and the weather had begun to grow cooler, she still wore a pair of light purple sleep shorts and a thin soft yellow spaghetti strap tank top. The heat in their house was on and, as weird as it was, she liked the contrast the warm air had on her skin combined with the cold air from outside. Her nipples were slightly erect due the slight chill in the air.

Focus left her outfit as she returned it back to Severus. He stood before her, looking down at her with piercing dark eyes. A few of the buttons on his shirt were undone, revealing some of his collarbone. With a smooth movement, he reached out and took her chin gently into his hand, tilting it up to force her to look at him with his pointer finger, thumb softly caressing the side of her jaw.

"Tell me, my dear..." He started, his tongue slipping out the delicately lick his lips.

"Have you been good?"

Her heart nearly lept out of her chest, or at least, it tried to. Ever since she had first met Severus, she had always found his demeanor, his intimidating aura to be one of the hottest things ever. The way he looked so menacing, yet so kind on the inside, it was a powerful combination that made her insides churn and burn.

"Yes.." She said, breathlessly.

He rolled his eyes, crouching down to be level with her eye line. Tucking a strand of hand behind her ear, he swiped his thumb across her lips slowly.

"Speak up for me, darling. Have you been good?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir."

A low groan escaped his lips, enjoying the way that word rolled off her tongue. Like a music note that sent chills down his spine, he cherished it. Standing up, he moved to the edge of the bed and ran a hand through his untamed hair.

"I believe you darling, I know you've been good. I am so very proud of you. You demonstrated such patience tonight, and for that you will be greatly rewarded. But, one must not forget how you acted before. Therefore, you don't deserve to be fucked properly tonight. You will get my cock another night." He stated, very matter o' factly.

She groaned, preparing to protest. However, he bent over in one swift motion and grabbed her ankles, dragging her towards the edge of the bed. Bringing his hand up, he pressed his finger against her lips.

"I don't think you are in any place to complain or argue, love. I'm still going to treat you tonight, just not the way you wanted. We can't always get what we want, now can we darling?" The words rolled of his tongue so sickeningly smooth, like honey.

She nodded, deciding that ultimately, he was right.

"No, we can't. You're right, sir."

Releasing her from his grip, he allowed her to get comfortable on the bed as he stood back up. He began to unbutton the rest of his shirt, allowing it to fall off his body. His pale chest was illuminated faintly by the candles lit in the room, flickering gently.

"First, you will give me what I want. Then, I'll please you like you so badly crave. Are you okay with that, darling?" He asked, always wanting to make sure she was ok with things first.

She nodded, watching eagerly as he began to remove his belt. Eyes locked on the large bulge in his pants. He groaned softly as he removed his pants, kicking them off his feet swiftly.

"Come here, darling. On the floor right her- wait - grab a pillow, please."

She grabbed a pillow and brought it over to him. Taking it from her hands, he placed it on the floor in front of him.

"Kneel right there my love, yes, there you go. Comfortable?" He cooed.

She nodded and smiled, grateful that he wanted to make sure she wasn't in pain during this. His fingers ran through her hair, taking a piece of it and tugging on it lightly, smirking to himself as she let out a soft yelp.

"I'm always amazed by how beautiful you look like this, on your knees, waiting to please me. Do you feel beautiful, my love?" His eyes were brimming with lust and love.

Shrugging, she nodded, half-heartedly. A frown was plastered across Severus' face. He tutted, running his calloused thumb across her cheek.

"Well, that won't do, now will it? No. Don't worry my love, I'll make you feel beautiful. Just like you should feel. Now, be good and get to work, hm?"

His words made her shiver, always fascinated by how romantic he made their intimate moments. Even if they were intense and rough moments, he always managed to make it romantic and passionate. It tugged at her heartstrings and encapsulated her. Shaking out of her thoughts, she reached forward and palmed at the prominent bulge in his briefs. A hiss left his mouth, showing that he was already very sensitive down there. Hastily, she pulled his underwear down, his cock popping out and hitting his lower stomach.

"Don't tease me, love. I'm not in the mood for any games." He warned, and she knew better than to take that for granted.

Listening to him, she got right to work. Her hand found it's way around his shaft and began to pump up and down, thumb gliding over the tip, causing a soft groan to escape his lips. She dragged her tongue over the vein on the bottom of he shaft, the salty and bitter taste of skin and sweat gathering on her taste buds.

"That's it, keeping going honey. You're doing so good." Severus sighed.

His praise drove her crazy, making her relax her throat and take all of him in her mouth at once. She gagged on the length and winced as the tip slammed against the back of her throat. Once she adjusted to the size, her head began to bob up and down, tongue swirling around in a frenzy, not knowing if it was even causing any pleasure for her boyfriend. However, her speculations were thrown out the window when she felt him grip a handful of her hair and tug on it. She groaned, the vibrations traveling down his dick, making him groan as well. Her mind was clouded with lust and want, all she could think about was getting him to the point of pleasure he wanted, and she wanted as well. Bringing her hands up she started to softly grip his balls, rubbing them while continuing to guide his dick down her throat. The only sounds in the room were of her wet and muffled gags and his ragged breathing as he reached the precipice of his climax.

"Mmm, darling, I-I'm almost there. Keep going." He moaned softly, hand firmly planted behind her head.

Not even five seconds later, he had squinted his eyes closed, dick twitching in her mouth and let out a moan as he released himself down her throat. He quickly pulled out and left the room without a word. Y/n sat there on the floor, confused, cum dripping down her throat and her lips. Before she could state to question anything, Severus had come back. In hand was a damp washcloth and a glass of what looked to be juice. He knelt down, handing the glass to you as he used the washcloth to wipe the excess cum off her face. Once he was done, he placed the washcloth on the vanity across from him.

"Here, drink this. I don't care what people say about sex, it doesn't take a genius to know that cum does not taste pleasant." He commented, grabbing the glass of juice and holding it to her lips.

She titled her head back and opened her mouth slightly, letting the juice trickle into her mouth before she swallowed it. Relief washed over her body as the salty-thick feeling and taste of the substance went away. When Severus knew the taste had gone away, he placed the glass next to the washcloth. He bent over and picked y/n up, placing her gently on the bed. His face was still flushed, recovering from the orgasm he had just experienced.

"Are you ready darling?" He questioned.

Nodding, she smiled.

He tutted and traced his fingers delicately over her hips.

"I need words, darling."

He needed words, but his words alone were driving her crazy as it was. She could barely even speak, captivated by the man above her. The orange hues from the candles in the room illuminated his figure. He looked like an angel. A dark angel, with a warm soul.

"Y-Yes, Severus. I'm ready." Her voice was shaky, anxious for what was to come.

A smirk tugged at his lips as they trailed down her body, planting chaste kisses as they went. The warm and wet feeling of his tongue sent goosebumps down her skin as he dragged it down her naval.

"Does that feel good, my love?" He mused.

All she could do was gasp in response, as shortly after he hooked a finger under the waistband of her shorts and tugged on it, letting it slap back against her skin. Her reaction caused him to chuckle softly.

"Yeah? Sorry, tell me again, does it feel good?" He toyed with her.

His hands now fully pulled her shorts down, along with her panties, revealing her vagina to him. The shimmering glisten of her arousal was slathered all around her labia. Severus' eyes grew as he saw a small trickle trail down the curve of her ass. With his finger, he tossed the pair of panties to the side. A cruel grin grew on his face as he blew softly against her center, causing her to let out a soft whimper and her hips to buck. Instantly, Severus gripped her thighs with his hands and slammed them down.

"Darling, am I going to have to restrain you?" His voice was teasing, but his question was genuine.

She quickly shook her head.

"N-No, I'll be still, I promise." She pleaded.

He raised an eyebrow, not fully believing her.

"If I find you cannot remain still for your treat, then I will be forced to restrain you, my dear. You understand?"

"Yes, I understand, sir." She batted her eyes seductively towards him.

A low groan rumbled in his chest as he looked back down towards her dripping core. For a minute, he contemplated diving right in. Licking up her arousal and curling his fingers deep inside of her, watching her squirm. But, he stopped. Sitting up, he grabbed y/n's hand and placed it over her clothed breast.

"Darling, I want you to touch yourself. But, only your chest. Do you understand? I will be right back."

Without another word he left the room, yet again. A groan left y/n's throat, irritated how often he kept leaving. However, she listened to him and began to grope her chest. Although it wasn't that satisfying, it did manage to keep her aroused until he came back.

"I'm sorry dear, that's the last time I will leave. I promise." He apologized, sincerely before nestling himself between her legs again.

"I wanted to make sure my hands were clean before I touched you. I wouldn't be pleased with myself if my recklessness caused you to be in pain from a UTI or something of the matter." His tone was soft and caring, causing y/n's heart to melt.

"Oh, Severus, that's so kind of y-you...mmm.." She began to thank him, but was swiftly cut off by the feeling of his thumb pressed against her clit gently.

A low chuckle could be heard from Severus.

"Mmm, what was that, my dear?" He taunted.

Y/n gripped the headboard, wishing to keep her promise of not moving. She frowned.

"Severus, please, I want more than that!" She pleaded.

Rolling his eyes, he reached up and pinched her nipple roughly through her thin tank top. A yelp left her throat and her eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

"What the fuck!?"

"You will be patient, just like you were earlier. I said I would please you, and I am."

His thumb rubbed across her clit at an agonizingly slow pace, his pointer finger on his other hand lazily tracing around her labia. All the while, his breath wafted against her teasingly.

"Well, maybe if you did a better job I wouldn't be so impatient..."

Severus froze, unsure if he had heard her correctly. His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. The grip he had on her thighs had gotten stronger. Letting out a breath, he loosened his grip and climbed up, hovering directly over y/n.

"Are you really this immature, y/n? Acting out like a spoiled brat when you don't get your way? Hm? I suppose you think that was a clever thing to say, right?" His tone had grown darker, obviously fed up with how irritating y/n had been acting tonight.

"I-.. Um.." She trailed.

"Oh? Suddenly you're out of witty remarks? No comebacks?" He sneered.

She did not know what to say anymore, she did not think before she spoke. And now, she was going to pay the price. Roughly, she was brought out of her thoughts as she felt a calloused hand grip her throat, just tight enough to catch her attention.

"Yeah, not so mouthy anymore, hm? Can't sass me when I've got my hand wrapped around your throat, isn't that right?" He mocked.

A strangled whimper left y/n's throat, squirming underneath him. But, as soon as he had put his hand there, he had removed it. It caught y/n offgaurd for sure, leaving her confused.

"Right, I'm done playing games with you. You wanted to be pleased and that's what you're going to get. No more beating around the bush, no more of that bratty attitude, and no more sass."

Without another second to spare, he went right back between her legs and attached his mouth to her center, tongue instantly pushing inside. Y/n's hand instantly shot to his hair and gripped it tightly, arching her back slightly.

"Fuck! Severus!" She moaned.

He just groaned in response, muffled between her legs which he grasped firmly. The sound of him slurping up her arousal and deep groans filled y/n's mind. She was lost in the sensation, a cloud of lust and arousal filling up her stomach. His hand crawled up her stomach and slid underneath her tank top, roughly squeezing her breast. Y/n squirmed underneath him, the pleasure, although amazing, made her body writhe as a reflex.

Severus growled.

"Stay still!"

He hooked his arms underneath her legs, drawing them over his chest as he leaned forward, causing y/n's knees to press against her chest. Severus continued his frenzy against her core, lapping up all of her arousal. Her back arched even further, signalling that she was close. Instantly, Severus slid two fingers in, curling them up into her soft flesh. A loud and, rather pornographic moan, erupted from y/n's mouth. He chuckled against her skin, enjoying the effect he had on her.

"Yeah? You close? Oh, I bet you wanna cum so badly, hm? Is that what you want? Tell me what you want, darling."

His voice was so encouraging that it almost felt condescending in a way, most likely a mock at how she had once been so cocky and confident, and now she was writhing underneath him and whimpering.

"Y-Yes! Wanna cum, sir! Please.." She forced out, in a wispy breath.

"That's my girl.." He cooed.

With a few more curls of his fingers, her walls tightened around him and relaxed as her orgasm rushed through her. Severus attached his lips to her center, making sure to swallow every bit of her arousal. When he was satisfied, his head drew up, a string of saliva connected from her clit to his lower lip. Both of them were breathing heavily, and as Snape stood up he wiped the arousal off his chin with his thumb and licked it off.

"Stay right there, darling."

Going in the hallway, he grabbed another washcloth from the closet and ran it under the sink in the bathroom. Ringing it out, he made his way back to the bedroom and smiled when he saw y/n. She was trying to sit up, but was too sore to do so. Chuckling, Snape sat next to her and began to wipe down her inner legs, stomach, and anywhere else that needed to be cleaned. Once he was certain she was fully clean, he did the same to himself. Letting out a sigh, he climbed into the sheets next to his lover. He placed his chin on her shoulder, planting a kiss on her neck.

"Was I too rough, darling?" He asked, concern laced his voice.

She shook her head.

"No, you weren't. I'm sorry I was so..." She trailed.

"Infuriating?" He whispered lowly in her ear, sending chills down her spine.

Rolling her eyes she reluctantly agreed.

"Yes. Infuriating."

Severus wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her half naked body against his fully naked body. He rubbed a hand over her lower stomach, providing some comfort to the soreness.

"Well, next time you should just listen to me. If I tell you I'll please you, I will darling. I'd never leave you feeling uncared for."

She nodded.

"I know, Sev. I've just been a little frustrated lately. I feel like we don't spend quality time with each other anymore." She sighed.

"You're right, we don't. I'm sorry my work has been keeping me away. But, I'm always here darling. And when this hectic chaos at work is over, I'll make for all lost time. I'll never leave you. You understand that, right?"

She turned around to face him, smiling and eyes full of love.

"Yes, I understand. I love you, Severus."

"I love you too, y/n."

#harry potter #writers #fanfic writer #severus snape #severus snape x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #writers of tumblr #wattpad #pro snape #snape smut

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twothumbsandnostakeincanon · 3 months

Text

got possessed by a writing ghost for exactly two pages.

Re: this post.

____________

Stiles wasn't even supposed to be in this part of the preserve. Technically it was Hale land, and normally he would be giving it a wide berth. No sense in drawing the attention of a huge pack while they seemed perfectly content to ignore the witch in town. He didn't need a herd of hall monitors watching his every step.

However, he'd noticed a small patch of plants there, that he'd been unable to find anywhere else in the preserve, and a couple of them were extremely valuable. "Month Long European Vacation” valuable. And he was jonesing for some Swiss chocolate.

So, he didn't see the harm in a little bit of a stealth charm. Just a touch of misdirection magic. He'd slip in and slip out, and the Hales would never need to know.

Or at least, they wouldn't have, had one of them not been face down in the mud next to the plants he wanted.

Stiles mused as he carefully picked and jarred the roots, keeping one eye on the motionless figure. It looked pretty dead. Stiles was still sure the Hales would never know he was here; his spellwork was comprehensive and the rain was washing away any slight evidence his magic might leave behind.

He stood up and tucked the last jar away in his bag, brushing his wet hair away from his face as he considered the lump of werewolf in front of him.

Werewolf teeth could go for a lot with the right buyer.

And a Caribbean vacation could be nice after the European vacation.

He stepped a bit closer, checking out the face. It was beat to hell, and only vaguely familiar. A Hale for sure, but not one that stuck close. Maybe the pack wouldn't even be looking for him.

Stiles gave the body a little kick.

It groaned.

"Fuck," Stiles swore to himself, imaginary money evaporating from his wallet as the not-quite-corpse sluggishly moved.

He crossed his arms, tapping his fingers as he considered. Having a favor to call on from a werewolf pack was it’s own kind of valuable, really. He wasn’t looking for friendship bracelets, but it could be nice to have a one-time call out up his sleeve.

He kicked the werewolf one more time to make sure he was still alive, and was answered with a twitch of the hands, claws flexing in and out for a moment.

“I don’t think those are gonna be a lot of use to you buddy,” Stiles muttered, finally crouching down to put a hand on him, rolling him over to fully assess the situation.

His critical eye noticed the injuries weren’t healing at the usual rate. Alpha inflicted. Damn. The Hales weren’t going to owe him jack shit if he brought back someone they kicked out. Maybe the injuries had been given by an outside Alpha? There was just no way of knowing without asking.

Stiles sighed resignation and reached in his bag for that most magical of cures: epinephrine.

He briefly considered acting out his Pulp Fiction fantasies, but went with the thigh instead. The wolf’s eyes shot open a moment after deploying the pen, growling and snarling, arms and legs not quite under his command yet, but swinging enough for Stiles to quickly stand up and step back.

“Hey,” he shouted over the rain and growls. “HEY. Who half-assed your transformation into a corpse?”

The werewolf snapped his eyes onto Stiles for the first time, half lunging before falling directly back into the ground.

“Alright Mudcakes, you’re not really in a position to be making threats. Tell me who fucked up your shit. Was it your Alpha or another one? If I take you back to your pack are they just going to finish the job?”

“I have no Alpha,” the werewolf snarled, still struggling to move in a direction that might reach Stiles someday.

“Well that answers that I guess,” Stiles muttered to himself. He was soaking wet at this point, and fully ready for the shower he’d been intending to take as soon as he got home. He should really just leave and let the werewolf drama run its course. Not his circus, not his monkeys. Or wolves, in this case.

But… the opportunistic wheels wouldn’t stop turning in the back of his head. Sure there would be no werewolf teeth to sell, and there would be no favor owed from a large pack… but someone from inside the pack with no loyalty to it could also be valuable. Information sold even better than spells sometimes.

The wolf’s movements were slowing already, the epinephrine burning through his blood faster than a human’s.

The wolf would probably be easy enough to control for at least the next few days, given the ratshit state of him. What harm could it do to at least bring him back to the shop for a night? Stiles was sure he’d be grateful, at least.

With the other option being facedown dead in pond mud, how could he be anything but adoringly thankful?

#He Is Not Thankful.#I'm not going to write it but I want everyone to know that Peter absolutely steals a bunch of Stiles's shit #this blog needs a tag for my bullshit #tumblr fic and kinda fic

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tgmsunmontue · 28 days

Text

More than movie magic... 9/?

Hangster AU. Explicit (eventually). Jake is a Hollywood actor and Bradley is a stunt coordinator. Jake's about to make a few self-discoveries. So is Bradley.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT

The reading had gone well, costuming have them all sorted with their respective racks of clothes and they’ve covered the schedule for filming. His first day is officially over, however if he doesn’t eat dinner with his parents there will be hell to pay, so he’s here instead of with the rest of the cast and crew. He’s glad his nieces and nephews are small, otherwise this would be a whole family affair and he knows that’s on the cards on Sunday for lunch.

“Jake, sit down and eat.”

“Sorry mom, I’m just…”

“Distracted. I’m aware. It’s not like you. What is it?”

“Uh,” he quickly shoves a piece of carrot in his mouth and hopes he can use the fact he’s chewing as an excuse to not answer.

“Oh, hesitation. Hesitation and misdirection. You don’t want to tell me. Is it a girl? Or a boy?”

“Man. It’s a man mom,” Jake mutters, because he’s in his early thirties, he’s not interested in boys or girls. Men and women are far better terms. His mom should know this, she’s the freaking English teacher. Not that he wants to be having this conversation with his mom regardless, but she’s like a shark scenting blood in the water, plus she’s one of his closest friends, and also doesn’t hold back when she thinks he’s being an idiot, which he needs sometimes. Maybe this is one of those times? He reaches for his glass of water.

“A man. Well, that doesn’t narrow it down, there’s quite a lot of them wondering around now. Hmm. Is it Bradley?”

Jake inhales his drink, coughs, wonders how the hell she’s just randomly guessed and he looks at her through watering eyes, still clearing his throat. Okay. This is definitely one of those times if she already knows. That’s mortifying, but at least he knows it’s just his mom and she knows him better than anyone.

“Oh it is! Oh good, I like him!”

“Mom!”

“What? You complained about him enough, I thought I’d form my own opinion. He’s nice and polite, has a good sense of humor, and can ride a horse. Much better than your last two…”

Jake pulls a face, because of course she hadn’t said anything at the time when he’d been with either Gabriel or Alicia, but afterwards she’d just told him someone better would come along. The fact that’s she already given Bradley her seal of approval doesn’t make him feel any better.

“I don’t even know if he’s single.”

“Oh, he is.”

“What?” Jake exclaims, because his tired brain is catching up and not only does his mom know Bradley, but it’s like she’s had multiple conversations with him.

“We talk. And I asked him dear. I’ve been feeding him up. He needs to eat more.”

“Oh my god, you’ve met him. You’ve talked to him,” Jake says, voice quiet with terrified realization. This is… not good.

“Every day since he arrived except one. But it’s okay, I sent your father with some cheese biscuits.”

“Fuck, dad’s met him?”

“Jake… he’s on your family ranch. He’s also met Freddie and Andy, and well… he’s been here for two weeks.”

“You haven’t had him here have you?” Jake asks, looking around at the embarrassing number of childhood shots of him and his siblings.

“Well, not for lack of trying. He keeps on turning my invitations down, saying he needs to work. Maybe you could invite him.”

“Mom…”

“Yes dear?”

“Can you just, uh, leave it for a couple of days at least?”

She looks at him then, slight frown on her face telling him that she’s considering listening to him and he’s grateful for small miracles.

“Oh Jake…”

“I know… I know okay? I just… he’s smart and clever and so good at everything he does.”

“You’re smart, clever and good at everything you do too honey.”

“You’re my mom, you’re meant to say that.”

“Well, I also thought your days being dumb over a boy, sorry, man, were behind you, so maybe not that clever.”

“Thanks mom,” Jake mutters, stabbing at the vegetables on his plate.

“Jake, have you considered that he’s intimidated by you?”

“Uh… I think the last thing Bradley is, is intimidated by me. He’s very used to telling me no.”

Actually that might be part of it, he’s so used to hearing Bradley tell him no he’s just assumed he’d hear it again if he did actually ask him out. He remembers Bradley meeting him, not being at all phased by Jake’s fame. And he knows most people are over it when they work in Hollywood, however there’s usually a little bit of something. All Bradley had seemed at the time was annoyed. He knows Bradley considered Pete Mitchell family, deals with Jake on a professional level because he’s nothing if not a consummate professional. Although he does seem to watch Jake, maybe as much as Jake watches him. Okay. Maybe he’s not got zero chances.

“Have you asked him out?”

“No.”

“Then I suggest you do. Not everyone else is going to make the first move for you honey. I’ll give you until Saturday.”

“Why? What’s happening Saturday?”

“Then I ask him out for you, like you’re four and I’m organizing a little playdate between you and a friend.”

“Mom! You wouldn’t…”

“Do you feel totally confident in that?”

He looks at her and he really doesn’t. She might be his biggest fan and supporter, but she’s also the first to bring him sharply back to earth if she thinks his head is getting too big. Or if he’s being stupid and going to miss out on something.

“Honey, you have a choice. Either face potential embarrassment of asking him and him maybe saying no. Or there will be the definitive and absolute embarrassment of me asking him, which I can assure you will be so much more humiliating for you on every level I can think of…”

Jake is getting traumatic flashbacks to his teen years; the time his mom danced in the grocery aisles to her favorite song, or when she screamed his name across the quad at school, telling him he forgot his lunch and then gave him a sparkly pink plastic lunchbox covered in Hello Kitty stickers while she was wearing a bathrobe (impressive and annoying considering she was a teacher and fully dressed under the bathrobe). God, he really cannot trust her not to go through with it.

PART TEN

#Hangster #Sereshaw #more than movie magic #Top Gun Maverick

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