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artwinx · 7 months
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and they were best friends since childhood...
so, guys chose days ago for 40s stevebucky so here it goes...
my commissions are still open and you can support me on ko-fi
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pun-ishingiguana · 2 years
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Every night you dream that you talk to a genie, when you wake up you can't remember what you wished for. One morning you wake up with a giant crab pincer replacing your right arm. What do you do?
I click my right arm experimentally. Well, right claw. No that didn't sound right... Ah yes, a pincer!
A small victory over the morning fog in my brain! I click rapidly in excitement, the orange-red chitin blurring so familiarly. I stopped that urge after a moment. It just felt so... Instinctual. Heck, the pincer somehow angled itself to bounce upon my soft duvet and not clip my countless soft plushies surrounding me. It was truly dexterously intelligent.
Wait, no, since the pincer was on my arm, I was the dexterously intelligent one. I nodded to myself, yay for me! My pin- I did the proud chitter.
More importantly why did my attention go to my pincer? Well I felt it was wrong and unnatural bu-
NO!
My eyes darted to my left hand in the span of a heartbeat (which was skipped). I can't have a pincer there too! I was left handed!
My left hand lay on my weighted blanket innocently, as if it wasn't the core of the fuss. I poked it with my pincer warily and felt a small spike dig into my skin. Well, it was my hand alright. Phew. I was relieved to have dodged a predicament. Truly, it was superior and blessed to be left handed. Our hearts (still twitchy and hurt a little) were on the left too after all. The left brain did the better part too. I didn't remember, but I think it was smarts. I was smart. A theory supported by evidence, something only the lefts were known for. The more I thought, the more I confirmed with myself. But for the life of me I couldn't remember where or what I read.
I drummed my fingers (obviously showing off dexterous genius to my pitiful right) as I scanned the room I was in. Being left-brained, I'd pick out clues swiftly.
A window so large there wasn't any wall on that side of the room. The window or wall (winall?) was highly impractical but it was on the right of me after all, so I can forgive it. Some drapes seemed to be hidden at the top, with a thin looped cord reaching the carpeted floor. Though it did offer a beautiful view of a beach being encroached upon by the ocean on one side and a forest on the other. The sun rising painted an exquisite picture I couldn't help but admire for a moment.
Directly in front of me was rows of artfully placed lights within the tapestry, mimicking twinkling constellations and producing ambient light. Well that was quite a sight too. The only exit in the room was on the wall directly opposite the foot of my bed. It was made of a rich and dark type of wood, it oozed something high-quality. A pair of paintings on either side, undoubtedly a pair, one showed humanoid flame as the focus and the other a humanoid gust. A suit of armour stood on the left, holding a large halberd (in its left!) and certainly didn't have a pincer for a right arm. So I was right! Well, I preferred left. Anyway, this wasn't normal (since when was being correct right? Annoying). I clicked the pincer methodically, joining the rhythm of my fingers. Decorations, or maybe just really, really old things adorned a small table on the right of the door.
The left of the room was filled with cupboards and dressers, with a full length mirror in its centre. Efficient. As expected of the left side. I took in the entire room and...
Huh.
It was about time grogginess made itself scarce and my higher brain functions kicked in... And yet...
I CAN'T REMEMBER A SINGLE DARN THING!!!
OH GOSH, OH MAN!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M A HUMAN WITH CRAB PARTS OR A CRAB WITH HUMAN PARTS
A
After staying calm and collected after this world shaking revelation, I decided to coolly get out of bed. Thinking so, I flexed all my muscles and leapt out of bed. Only the weighted blanket stopped my from shooting through the wonderful ceiling, I know. And also my pincer got caught in the bedsheet and blanket. Darn those spindles! I vigorously shook it to free it, but alas I only created a cascade of my soft plushies. A baboon, an owl, a veena... Well there were quite a lot with no pattern. Maybe they were just cu-
thunk
MY PINCER?! My left hand came to the rescue (as normal) and deftly removed the cloth. Although I distinctly heard it come from the other side of the bed, where the plushies landed. My attention was elsewhere, however. The high headboard had blocked the back wall from my prone position. There were... So much writing and notes stuck there. A whiteboard that held a lot of crazy writing. I think... It was cracking some code? A language maybe? I stared and stared at the various pages clipped there stroking my beard (with my left hand) until...
Understanding bloomed in my head. Along with a migraine that clubs wished they could cause. It felt like NOW a haze over my mind lifted. I tried to parse the sudden resuscitation of my entire life story as a guest of wind ruffled my hair and the notes.
Wind... In a closed room? My distracted brain caught up and I suddenly became aware of a presence. It was unlike when your mind feels a presence and sends a signal, either a chill or some blur in the peripheral vision. My gut and mind outright screamed at me to turn to the other side of the bed, to face it. I turned and saw. Floating there was a brass teapot sporting two dents, one in the shape of my pincer. But that wasn't what commanded my focus. It was the swirling, twinkling cyclone floundering around.
Identical to the pair of paintings, yet so much subtler and that much scarier. As my eyes roved over its form, I felt my gaze lock over a certain part and the... Thing reacted. It weaved itself, sideways, into itself, out of and bobbed and bubbled. It freely changed its volume for a few moments before it 'spoke'.
It's speech didn't hurt but it was not, could not be produced by the physical world. It was... Like the electromagnetic spectrum could chortle and chuckle and even that description felt lacking. Similar to how the voice left me, feeling so pitifully less when there was just so much MORE in that voice alone.
D̸e̴a̸r̶U̷̧̢͍̖̫̦̙͉̝͖̩̪̯͇͇̯̹̰͔̦̼̖̟͔̰͈͈̬̦̞̙̳͑̓͛̎̄̒̄̅̈͋́̾͒͗̈̈́̈̐͌̀̽̈́̔̈́̒̈́̈́̍̾̇͐̈́̕͝͝͝͠͠͝ͅs̵̡̡̧̢̢̬̩͍̥̩̖̤̘͓̪̤̝̪̹̲̖̟̗̩̫̫͓̪͍̻͔̖̼̭̦̬̻̗̜̠̏́͛̃̈̀͌̈́̐̅͌̂͆͑̍̈̑͘̚̕͘͜͜ͅͅȩ̵̡̡̡̢̪͖̠̭͙̣̫̺̤̯̝̲̦̪̰̙͍̠̳͔̺̘̜̼̮̩̞͖̘͍͎̯͎̝̖̯̯̱͉͙̘̖̄̄͒̎̈́͗̑͛̈͘̚͜r̶̨̧̧̛̥̱͈͍̥̯̼̼̞͙̜̗̫̱̘̬͎͇̩̳̻̹̹͇̲͓̤͖͓͈̞̝̫̘̥͉̰̪͉̥̜͚͚̜̱̫͍͆̉̔̈̀̒̀͆̐̍͆̃̄͌̓̌̍̇͘̕͘͘M̷a̴s̸t̸e̴r̸P̵̨̧̧̨̧̨̛͚̳̝͉͓͈̗͔͇̳̖̮͖̘̹̭̪͖͍̗̹̼̙̻̥͓̖̼̯̻̰̭̻̜͇̖̹̒̑́̾̐̀̍̒̑͊̈́̌̃̍̇̐̊̂̈́͛̓̔̾̓̂̄̇̈́͆̕̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͝ļ̸̧̢̧̛̛̩͓̰̭̬͖̯͚͓̠͇̙̤͙̗̖̣̺̬͍̯̻̰̖̗͍̝͎͖̍̅̆̈́͋͌̐̾̀̅͐̀̆̑̅͗͐́̾͆̎̔͗̑͛́͌̈́̉̈͑̈́͂͂̈́̈́͗̀̒̍̎͘͘̚̕͘͠ͅa̷͋̏̑̾̾͋͂̑͝͠��̡̨̡̢̨̧͍̲͈̬̦̼͍̜̞̙̰̯͉̰͔͔̗͎͚̩̲̥͇͔̩̘̳̺͍̲̯͔̮͜͜ͅy̵̨̡̨̛̭͔͚̮̠̟̗̠͉̭̖̺̪̜̮͙̦̟̠̩̝̣̞̖̞̬̙̟̝͚̲̯̝̬͎̻̣̤̟̣̺̐̆̈́̒̆́͛̓̈̈̂̈́͑̒́͂̆͆̾̌̑̂͑͌͌͗͐̄̆̈́̋̉̇̎̌̀̚͘̕͜͜͝͝ͅe̷̡̡̛͔̬̭̳̤̤̝̗̝͓̘̳̥͇͈̠̫̰̺̩͓̥̗̘̙̘̱͗̊̓̏̔̂̃͑͂̈́͊̊̄̃̿̈́̾̑̽̿̾͐́͑̋͐́͗̾͗̿̂̈̾̏̈͂͒̾̾̚̚̚͜͝͠ͅr̴̹̬͋͛̌̅̋̐͊̇͗̊͌̾̌̀̈́͊̉̅̄̃̈́̅̐̉̾̈́͌͛̑͑̏͊̕̕͝, A̵f̸t̸e̸r̷ ̵e̷i̵g̵h̷t̶ ̷h̵u̷n̴d̷r̴e̴d̶ ̴t̵w̴e̷n̸t̵y̸-̷e̴i̶g̷h̷t̴ ̴q̸u̸a̸d̸r̴i̶l̵l̶i̶o̶n̴ ̷t̵h̷r̶e̸e̴ ̷h̸u̸n̷d̶r̸e̵d̸ ̴s̵i̶x̵t̸y̷-̶f̶o̸u̶r̴ ̶t̷r̸i̵l̶l̸i̷o̷n̶ ̵e̸i̶g̵h̴t̵ ̵h̶u̸n̸d̷r̵e̷d̸ ̶t̵h̴i��r̷t̸y̴-̷n̷i̶n̶e̸ ̷b̷i̷l̶l̵i̷o̷n̴ ̵s̸e̴v̴e̸n̶ ̵h̴u̷n̶d̶r̸e̸d̵ ̷t̵w̵e̸n̵t̴y̵-̴t̶w̶o̵ ̸m̵i̷l̵l̵i̶o̸n̵ ̷t̷w̵e̶n̷t̶y̴-̷e̸i̴g̴h̸t̷ ̸t̴h̶o̵u̴s̷a̷n̵d̶ ̵t̷h̷r̴e̸e̴ ̴h̶u̷n̸d̴r̷e̷d̵ ̵s̶e̴v̶e̶n̵t̶e̵e̸n̸-s̷̖̑ȉ̵͎m̵̡̉ȕ̵̲l̶̲̈â̷̺t̶̜̄ǐ̸̻o̶͙̚n̵̹̾ṣ̷͋,̵̩̋ ̵̖͆i̷͔͆ṭ̵́ ̴̻̋i̴̹̋s̵̼͆ ̶̢̋ǐ̵͔m̷̘̅p̷̧̀ọ̸̔s̶̜̈s̵̖͊i̴̮̓b̷̥̈l̵͇̃e̸͓͗ ̸̤̂t̷̼͗ǫ̸̂ ̷͖̐f̸͓͝u̵̫͒l̴͕̽ḟ̴̙i̸͕̊l̷͚̚l̸̝͆ ̵͓̂y̴̏͜o̵̼̾u̵̜̎r̷̗͗ ̴͍͋s̷̫̓e̸̱̒c̶̺̓õ̶̜n̴̘͘d̶̜̆ ̶͈̐ẇ̵̟ị̴̕s̵̖̽h̶̳̾.̸̲̚ ̴͓̊Ẉ̸͐ḛ̵͗ ̸̲̇a̵̰̅r̵̺̄e̵̻͐ ̶̻̈́u̶̼͘n̸̚͜a̸̤͑b̶͇̂l̸͈̽e̴̛̺ ̵̮̄t̷̯̊o̶͍͘ ̵͖̌f̸̮̾ỏ̷̟r̷̬̎g̵̢̍ḛ̶̊t̷̗͘ ̷̳͝ť̶̝h̴̙̔e̷̥͆ ̸̢̈́g̴̦̃ř̸̠à̷̫n̸̳̑t̸̮͝i̶͇͘n̵̗͘g̷̻͝ ̸̹̐o̴͙͝f̸͙͊ ̵̻̈́a̸͕̋ ̶͍̈́ẁ̴̩i̴͓͑s̸̢͆ȟ̴͙.̸̼͌ ̶͍͂P̶͓̏l̶̹͑e̸̬͆à̵̪s̸̘͠e̴̛̻ ̷̖̔v̶̳͐ì̴̺s̴̊ͅi̶͚͛t̸͖̅ ̸̈ͅt̵̯̕o̵̱̾ ̷͌ͅr̶̟̉e̷͕̋p̸͉͑ó̸̫r̵̲͝t̵̡͌ ̶̣͠t̴̫̋h̸͖̆ī̸̦s̵̙͘ ̷̨͂b̴̞̈ü̸̲g̷̔͜.̶̨̅ ̸̺̽T̨̡̕͜͠o̷͘҉ ͢͜͟͠T́͘͏h̶̨͝e͜͝͠ ̨̕͝I̸̷̵u҉̸n͟͏T̸̛̛͈̘̤̐̂͐͌̎̃̿͋̇̅͊̄͒̀̔͝ĥ̶̡̨̛̛̦̭̰̟͖͎̤̜͓͎̥̰͚͙̣̼̠̹̭̊́̈́̌̿̍͌̎́̉̾̅̑̐͆̾̈́̑̏̾̃͐͋̒̊͛͛̽̐͘̚͝͝͝͝͝͝i̷̡̨̛̛͎̪̭̘̪͈̲̝̅̈́̾̄̃̐̓̓͌̏̀͊̓̐̔̆͂͌̽̓͐͋̚̚̚͝͝s̷̢̧̡̧̥̥͚͍̣̮̰͙̺̝̙̮̗̦͎̳̻̙̺̜̫̙̻̙̏͐̏͐͊̑͌̒̐̋̄̐̍͠ͅ ̶̨̡̛̪͈̘̗̗̭͈̺̦̯͖̘̱̪͍̈́̍̉͛̐̐̎͊̑́͒̋̔͑͛̇͊̈́̊̎̐̍̈̆̇̏́́̑͌͌̾̊́́̈̀̌̅̅͠͠͠ͅw̸̨̡̢̢̛̼̦̝͕͕̫̤͔̩͓̯͓̪̠͎͙̣͓̠͇͓̯̠͕͙̮͈̳̳͉̺̽̈́̈́̂̈́̋̏̐͑̇̏̇̍̋́͑͐̔̈͆̆͌̍̓́̋͆̇͗̐͐̐̇̚͘̚̕͜͝͠͝ͅä̷̞͔͚̹̓̇̈́͋̀͊͂̕͜͝y̸̢̢̨̛͙͔̦͍͔͔̼̫͊͂̏̆͌̇̂̊͆͆̈̽̅̀͂͊͋̋͗͆̀̎̎̓̔̊͆͊̎̈́̀͘͘̚ ̵̡̝̺͕̼̙̞͉͂̃͌͛͗͘͝ͅt̷͇͚̞͇̗͕͔̣̝̺̗̦̯̫̼̜̲͙̞̞̥͍̥̫̣̳͔͖̺̜̭̞̙̹̬͓͍͕̝͗̌̃͆̀̏̚͜ͅͅͅŏ̷̜̱̖̻͈̞̣̩͕̲͚͕͎̜͓̭̯̪̖̭̯̼̖̮͎̟͔̯͙̘̗̀̊̃̽̄̓̅́͆̃͂̑̿̂́́̕͜͝͝ͅͅ ̶̨̢̧̡̛̪͈̱͎̤̙̮̮͉̻̪͎̥̥͚͈̟̟͚̪͍̥͇͍̬̹̫̱͕̀͆͋͗͌̌̍̄̔̇̇͐̈̋́̈́̏͑͛̾̔̓̽͛͘̕̕͘͜͜͝ͅţ̶̢̛̟̖͔̣̺̠̤͖͓̫̫̘̟̹̺͚͚̲̰̻̱̹̲̥̩͓̀̋̓̔̇ͅh̴̡̡̡̨̢̧̨̧̡̛̗̟̠͕̺̘̭̳̩̠̮̭͔̝̺̘̦̮̜̲̦͙̻̮̳͉̠̟̙̗͈͔͎̹̜͉͖̙̍̄͑͊̏̊̔̓̋͑́͑̿̈́̃̓̀̉̓́̎̈́̈̚̚̚͘͜͜͝ͅę̸̨̧̢̨̢̛̤̙͕̪̪͓̼̳͈̩͎̦̺̗͍̅̈́́̿̌̉̽̽͐͂͊͑̈́̉̍́̉̋̓͘͜͝͝ ̴̨̡̣̤̺͖͙̝̺̬̺̖̦̪͈͙͉̩̭̂̾̔̈̂͌̂̑͗̏͛̍͠n̶̡̡̢̤̩͎̟͔͙̜̫̻͈͚̻̯̤̮̺͎̣̤̫͈̭̯̥͕͉͉̰͇͓̙̹͎̥̰̪̤͊́̍̅͑̓̓͋͒̽̓̀̃̇̈́̀̀͐̒͑̃͂̇̉̂̐̌͒͐̑͌͒͗͆̑̂̌͑̚̕̕͘͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͠͝ͅe̶͕̬̺̅̋̿̾̌̅̓̾̃͂͋̅̂̊̂͒̎̉̇͋̏͐̍̄̂̃̍̓̓͊͌̉̕̚̚͜͝͝͝a̸͕̗̽̌͗̌͒̈̐r̸̡̡̨̡̨̡̟͎͇̠͙̻̦̼͎̠̲̖̹͍̻͔̤̱͍͕̺̮͕̬͎̭̘̘̱̜͖̤̤̱͚̫̲͉̾̂́̈́̿́̈́̀͂̅̑̌͐͐̽́͒̾͂͜͝ͅȩ̸̛͖͕̘̤̹̻͉͍̯̥͉̗̪͈̮͇̳̝̝́̐̓̍̏̌̌̿̿̊͐̐͆̈́̾̎͆̌̉͑̋̽̚͜͜͝ͅs̵̛͇̮̲̺̯̗̯͇̝̞̱̙̥͍̟͍̯̫͉͉̅̔̔̇̋͑́̈́̊̑̃̽̒̿͐͊̇̂͌̉́̌̈́̏̒̄̈́̓̒̀̕͘͜͝ṫ̷̨̨̨̢̨̨͉̼͍̹̪̥͎͔̠̠̥̠̞̰͍̟̣͚̘͔̟̠̻̙͇̫͉̪͉͈̱̱̥̰̯̤̣͖̙͈̪͓͕̳̒́̋̊̅̔̍̓͝ ̷̧̛̬̼̦̏͌͊̍͊̽̅̉̉̽̈́͊̄̈́̍́͗̐̈́̅͊̋͘͝I̵̧͔̠̦̎̉̽͐́̍̿̊́̒̀̆̈́̋̅ų̵̛͉̟̜̲̥͉͙̣̜͙̒͋̍n̵̨̡̡͍̯̜͕͈̙͈͉͔̹̙͔̟̫̹͚̖͈̮̞̪̙̪̥͓̹̜̩͋
My eidetic memory didn't need me to even glance at the notes on the wall behind. I grabbed a marker in a pocket and begun furiously scribbling on my new pincer arm. I remembered now, I had left the marker to scribble reports when I awoke from dreams. That was the only way to reach this... Jinn. To reach a state so uncorrupted by active thought and wisdom. I remembered it constantly chanting at me to access it properly, or more accurately E̶̛̛̲̙̝̣̤͈̤͈̩̠̺̣͙̾͆̀́̃͋͗̃͠n̷̞̯̼̣̭̺̦̳͉̔̈́̌̉̀ṱ̴̢̡̨̢̧̩̠̳͈̗̙͊̚͜ĕ̸̡̥͖̜̳̤̘͂̈́r̴̢͎̫̯͎̬̪̺̞͐̈́̋̈́̑͊͜͜͜ ̴͕̻͙̃̉̀̾͝ļ̵̺͚̥͍̹̬̪͔̭͇̜͍̗̮̬̳̑́̌̃̑̂͒̾͘͘͝͠o̸̧̟͖̦̍̋̑̀̀̓̂̍́̈͝͝g̷̢̧̧͙̦͔̖̥̪̞̣͖͔͕͉̋̔͋̃̇̿͋̉̊͘͝i̷̡̫͖͔̦̞͑͛̎̉̀̽ͅn̵̨̙͖͖̣̗̱̭̯͎̤̫̬͋̀͠ ̸̬̻͇̼̥̙͍͂̍̐̏̾͗̏ḓ̸̤̺̙̳̮̹͓̹̼̼̏̓e̴̡̧̛͔̝̰̟̘̣̼̟̥̘̝̍̎͐̎̇̉͗̌̐̕͘t̷̢̞͍̍͆̆͆̎͛̉́a̴̧͕̯̦͎͈̬͔̥͐̈ï̸̧̡̧̡͚̤͖̩͖̤̻̩̩͌͗́̒̀̊̓͋́̃̂̔l̷͖̼̝̦͕͎̉̀ş̵̳͓̩̪̘͖̠͉̬͉̹̦̞̎̔͜. I was still inexperienced in that language, but I knew I was close. I just did. And matters like this, it payed to trust your gut.
I glared at the now idle teapot surrounded by plushies. Thoth's baboon, Saraswati's veena and... Wan Shi Tong? Damn, I pulled all the stops, attempting to influence myself to getting knowledge. I side-eyed my pincer arm, well fuck, I certainly got myself a reaction. Wait... How DID I end up with a crab arm?
I wracked my brain and it showed me a scene. It certainly wasn't memory, I was climbing a rainbow using a dolphin (like a tool and I don't know how) while various symbols and characters circled me and made fun of me. Insults were mainly how I had a tiny head and yet was trying to become greater than them all. I was NOT affected by such trivial mockery. Except I slid down the rainbow on the dolphin, through the clouds and left them all behind as I blinked back tears.
At the bottom, the dolphin continued on through the floor but I stood firmly on the ground. Then suddenly it was overcast and the rainbow was turned to dust. The clouds got darker and darker and I felt greater and greater pressure, like I was suddenly Atlas on his first day. Just as quickly the clouds were evaporated by the sun coming down through them. Literally. The sun shrunk as it descended, it's heat destroying the world, burning it all to only a desert. I just stared up at the now white ball of pure energy that twisted the air around it. But it still kept compressing and shrinking as it got closer and closer to the desert, now even setting flame to dust.
Yet I stood there unharmed and horridly curious. It started to bob and twist in the same way the Jinn had and suddenly reality started twisting around it. It was fundamentally different than when air simmered. Now even the desert was aglow. The sky was still blue. I still stood. Then the marble of energy suddenly winked out of existence, but it's immense pressure could still be felt. Embers and simmering flutter in front of me, where it 'was'. The world was glass and I could see through it almost, impurities colouring it the entire spectrum.
The same as innumerous times before, it chanted its question at me. And I knew not why this time I was suddenly granted access. Maybe the dolphin was the answer. Or the glass landscape was just the right hue and shade. I had no idea how but I was somehow in, and even in my muted, dreaming state i felt deep disbelief, that I... Pinched my arm? My entire left forearm just folded and spun with the twist. And then... Oh no...
"Darn, I wish I could really pinch myself to see if this is real."
And then my right arm became a pincer. I cringed in shame, both in reality and in memory. But I outdid my stupidity.
"Oh man, I wish no one ever, ever knows I did that."
The Jinn froze for a single moment, then swirled and expanded, engulfing one corner of my vision to the other. The glass shattered and I fell into the void below. A deep dark patch remained in my memory before I awoke again.
I nestled my face into my hand and pincer. I should have used hypnosis or something... To better influence my subconscious state into asking for knowledge. I took the deepest breath I could and let out a huge huff. Clicking my pincer thoughtfully, I looked at the Jinn Lamp. No use crying over spilt milk, besides, it did say to visit something, right?
Just as he had that thought, it felt like it germinated, sprouted and bloomed into a new set of information, certainly not painful but horribly humiliating to me. It was a... Specific point in space. I didn't have the coordinates but I could certainly feel where it is, and thank goodness Earth was barrelling in its general direction.
I had a thought it was terribly convenient and coincidental but that can't be true so it slid right off my mind. It'll be quite a few years till I'll have to be at that specific place that passed that node. I glanced down at my pincer. I... Can't even go out in public now, I was most certainly resembling a character in Kafka's books.
I sighed. Well, no matter. There are always more wonders in the world to seek in the meantime. I gingerly picked up the Jinn Lamp and placed in on the bedside table. Horribly delicate for something so eldritch. I ran my left hand through my hair, leaving the mess behind me as I exit the room. I needed a strong drink. Alcohol in the morning is something I do not condone, it simply isn't the gentleman way. But desperate times do call for desperate measures. I was looking forward to scotch from 1900's already.
Planning my next find could wait. For now, me, my bottle-opener of a right hand, and alcohol.
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spineless-lobster · 4 months
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I am not the divine masculine or the divine feminine I am the divine comedy and you will address me as such
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wewontbesleeping · 1 month
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the weirdest fucking thing to me is how men will be like "it's so hard being a man. no one cares that i'm sad. the loneliness we experience could NEVER be understood by a woman" and then also be like "btw i never talk to my friends and i don't know their names and i love hanging out with men because they don't talk about their stupid emotions all the time. women could never understand a bond like this." like ???
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I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.
It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.
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nikki-rook · 8 months
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smitten | adjective | smit·​ten deeply affected with or struck by strong feelings of attraction, affection, or infatuation
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snarkspawn · 4 months
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based ofc on this
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reasonsforhope · 1 month
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Sometimes you just have one of those moments where the progress we've made as a culture get thrown into stark relief. You look at something and go "Holy shit, that would never have happened when I was a kid."
Today, I had one of those moments when I realized that the teenage boys I'm working with are just. genuinely, openly enthusiastic about going to Build-a-Bear for their outing.
These are sixteen and seventeen year old boys! They just had a whole conversation about what to name their "cute", mostly new squishmallows! They're genuinely excited that they're going to Build-a-Bear this weekend and asking other kids to pick up specific accessories for them!!
Holy shit, that never would've happened when I was 16. None of the boys would have dared to be visibly interested - and neither would most of the girls! There would have been a million gay jokes and "Haha, you're a girl" jokes and "What are you, a baby?" jokes. Teenagers weren't even supposed to care about anything back then!
Less than 15 years later, and I'm watching three 17 year old boys treat all that as not even worthy of comment.
So let's call that a reason for hope. Even when the kids aren't alright, in some ways apparently they are alright. Go Gen Z, honestly. It's so lovely to watch you guys just openly doing and saying stuff that, when I was a teen, would've been a social death sentence.
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buggachat · 5 months
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something so fucked up about Chat Noir’s whole deal is that he is in a lot of ways Adrien playing a character. Like Adrien picked up his miraculous and was told he’d be a superhero so he was like “ok, time to act like a superhero!” and he lets himself have fun w it and play up the role and let loose and kind of just allow himself to be silly and goofy and have fun and for once in his life not care about performing Perfection™.
But. But none of the other characters KNOW THAT. So everyone just sees Chat Noir and is like “look at this guy’s ego. He’s so full of himself. Surely it’d be fair to knock him down a few pegs” without being aware of how few pegs he actually HAS. He’s like the “insecure character who overcompensates in ego” trope except he’s really not doing it unironically, he’s just having a fun LARP pretending to have self worth in his off-hours but nobody else is on the same page about it being a game and he refuses to tell them. He just dramatically pouts about it and lets them laugh and pretends like he’s not internalizing it and it is almost 3 am and my brain forced me to write this instead of sleeping I’m gonna take a melatonin
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ewe-why · 4 months
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Do not separate.
Also there is this extra:
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josukespimphand · 4 months
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I haven't posted in a while but <333
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I call this one "Double Kill"
[ID. First panel, Nino sits at his and Adrien's table in school, he's angled to face Adrien, his right arm resting on the back of their bench and his left hand on the table. He's saying "I still can't believe I got Rose with "Ligma"..." with his eyes closed. There's a small amount of text next to his head that reads: "It was funny, but I still feel bad..." indicating he's saying it under his breath. Him saying this gets Adrien's attention.
Second panel, Adrien is facing forward at Nino. His face is set in a worried smile as he asks, "What's "Ligma"? Is it serious?".
Third panel, Wide shot of them at their desk, showing Marinette and Alya at their table as well, looking down at them. Adrien keeps an expression of now confused worry as Nino looks at him with an open mouth. Marinette is looking down at Adrien with both hands over her mouth as her shoulders shake with contained laughter. Alya is also covering her mouth, but her joy is less contained as she smiles. The word "SPEECHLESS" is written above them to help get the surprise the three of them feel across.
Fourth panel, a shot of Adrien alone, facing forward and covering his face in embarrassment as the statement, "Just found out what Ligma is" is pointed to him in a looping arrow.
Fifth panel, a wide shot of Ladybug and Chat Noir sitting on the edge of a building together. Chat Noir is sitting criss cross with his hands resting on his thighs, sitting forward a bit to show that he's listening to Ladybug. Ladybug is much more relaxed, leaning back on her right hand and holding her left hand up casually. She's smiling as she recalls: "And then he fell for Ligma! I feel bad, but I kinda wanna see if he'll also fall for "Candace"..."
Sixth panel, Chat Noir is now crossing his arms, raising an eyebrow, squinting his eyes, and tilting his head. His right cat ear tilts as well, while his left one stays straight. The words: "Skeptical but curious" are pointed at him with a straight arrow. He's saying, "And who's "Candace"?"
Seventh panel, Ladybug is looking at Chat Noir with a shocked expression, her eyebrows raised and her jaw dropped. She's sitting straighter, her hand is still resting on the ledge, but it's no longer supporting her. The same "SPEECHLESS" is floating above her as it was seen in the third panel, to show just how shocked she truly is.
Eighth panel, Chat Noir is sitting with his knees up to his chest as he covers his face with his hands in embarrassment. His ears are flattened and his tail is curled around his ankles. The words "Just found out who Candace is" is pointed at him with a straight arrow. End ID]
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vaszametili · 3 months
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obiwan leades anakin to the council 21 BBY holophoto in color
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triona-tribblescore · 27 days
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I cant stop thinking about them :'( 🩷🩷✨✨ drew my human designs for a wee change of pace uvu
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arabian-batboy · 1 year
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Don’t play with me now, this better be for real-
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caffichai · 4 months
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Polar bears are like, legendarily chubby! So here's my artistic take on Aurora
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