#honestly part of the reason why i've disappeared from here

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Wingspan

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Minors denied. Don't want me to write the list of all shameful things I wrote under the cut

Because I've spent whole week with sick 2 years old child, managed to get sick as well and I'm deprived of Azriel because last two months I'm writing only Heal me and as soon as he appeared on scene, this invaded my mind.. Honestly too many reasons to write something silly ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

"Okay, guys. You know why we are here," I started. "At first I'd like to thank you that you voluntarily signed up as subjects for this research."

"We compare our pricks whole life. It's our pleasure that somebody finally took it seriously and wants to write a whole book about it," Cassian teased, laughing hard.

Rhysand was trying really hard to keep a straight face the whole time, but after Cassian's comment he was about to lose it, and Azriel standing in the dark corner rather disappeared in his shadows after this comment.

How did I even get into this situation? Well, I knew how. It all happened because I was a passionate researcher. Too passionate for my own good.

It all started with mated Archeron sisters and Mor who wouldn't stop debating about this thing of a correlation of wingspan with the size of Illyrian male's private parts. It picked up my interest and I searched the entire library to find out more info about it. Utterly failing in the process, there wasn't a single mention. There wasn't even a proper documentation of their wings alone. So I took it upon myself to collect necessary data to confirm or deny truth of this rumour. I briefly mentioned it to Rhys hoping he could help me find enough subjects for the research. Which he did in surprisingly short time. And as if it wasn't enough he and his brothers signed up, too.

"That part I will leave to you. I hope I can count on you to deliver accurate numbers. If you try to cheat I'll have your mates to do it properly," I laughed, but I meant every single word.

"I'm sure Nes would be all for it," Cassian grinned proudly.

"As if Feyre wouldn't," Rhysand lost it. I had to laugh. I was afraid it would turn into something awkward, but with these two it was impossible. They were like kids, turning everything into a funny game.

I met Rhysand under the mountain. He witnessed the moment my ex betrayed me and when Feyre saved us all, he picked up my remains and brought me to Velaris to heal. In the end I decided to stay here. I buried love, lust and everything related to it as deep as possible and focussed on what I liked - research - occasionally helping inner circle.

"At least they certainly won't cheat," I smiled. "This research origins in their concern after all."

The three of us laughed so hard we cried. Only Azriel stayed silent hidden in his corner.

"And who will make sure Azriel doesn't cheat?" Cassian wondered.

"Why should I," Azriel stepped out from his hideaway, lowering a challenging gaze at me.

"I believe Azriel is the last one of three of you to use such dirty tricks to manipulate the results," I said, returning his gaze. "But if he does, I'll personally make sure he delivers true data."

His hazel eyes lit up with mischief and corners of his full lips slightly moved upward in a hardly there smirk. He wasn't so different from his brothers. More serious than these two? Certainly, but he could be playful, too.

"Okay, guys, let's get it done. Who is the first to show off the wingspan?"

This was the part I'd been looking forward the most. Illyrian wings, the most important subject of my research and to be honest, the main reason of this fuss. So sacred that sometimes even their lovers weren't allowed to touch them. Not that I could touch them by any mean. Boys only granted me to take measurements and a close look to make detailed sketches. Totally understandable given how sensitive they were.

All three of them took turns one in a time, helping me when my arms were too short. I took measurements of different parts of their bodies, too, just to be sure I have all I could possibly need to get accurate results. I wrote down numbers into my notebook, already amazed by the results.

"That's all for today. Thank you for your time. When can I expect the other data?"

"You can get them even right now, if you want, but I guess you don't want to see it, do you?" Cassian, always such a tease. I shook my head laughing.

"Would tomorrow morning be a soon enough for you?" Rhysand purred, flashing a smile. "Tonight we're going to have a lot of fun with Feyre."

"It would be perfect," I agreed. The sooner I was done here, the sooner I could go to camps to collect data from volunteers Rhysand had found for me.

Cassian and Rhysand left soon after, but ever-silent Azriel stayed behind.

He seemed to be so flustered and nervous while I was taking his measurements. Cassian was picking on him for that, but Azriel stoically ignored him and held still. It seemed he didn't even breathe. I knew he didn't like to be touched. It was the biggest of the surprises that he voluntarily signed up for this, so I was extra careful with him.

Ever since I met him, he was always very kind and considerate to me. However it took some time until he opened up. It's just few months since we started to hang out more. Not that I wouldn't like him. If I were honest, I would admit that he was very interesting person, I liked him a lot and he was so incredibly handsome. Too handsome to be real.

But that's exactly the way I wasn't suppose to think about him. I'm the type who falls easily and hard, and loves with all her being. That's why I was so devastated last time. Nobody could possibly love somebody like me. I'm unbearable in many ways.

Plus he is too high league for somebody like me. He can have anybody he wants and the line of prospects is long. Elain and Gwyn for example compete for his attention for years. Successfully. There's no way he would think of me that way. I shook my head to get rid of these self harming thoughts.

Turning I smiled at him encouragingly. Azriel cleared his throat, wings rustled behind his back. He did this often when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"The camps.. are you planning to go there alone?" His deep voice always did this strange thing with my insides. And today was no different. I pushed the feeling aside, to the box of things I shouldn't think about and shut it closed.

"No, I believe last time Rhysand mentioned something about sending an escort. Mor is going with me, too."

"Okay," he nodded. His one word responses the were death of me. It was so hard to keep conversation going.

"Uhm.. So tomorrow? You don't have to hurry if it's inconvenient for you."

"Tomorrow is fine."

"Oh.. So.. uhm.. I'll see you tomorrow." Shadowsinger just nodded looking down at me a little longer than necessary and then finally he turned and left. I let out a long breath.

Next day Rhys came as the first one as soon as I entered my office. I guess he couldn't wait. Cassian stopped by as soon as the training with priestesses was over. I checked their results with their mates during the lunch break just to be sure the numbers are correct.

It was almost evening and Azriel was nowhere to be seen. I packed some of the stuff I needed to take to camps and took a look around. There was nothing else to keep me occupied, so I decided it's time to go home. I was about to open the door when a knock sounded. It was Azriel.

"You came," I greeted him with smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner. I was-"

"It's okay," I interrupted him. "You really don't need to apologise. I'm grateful you signed up for this."

He made a small noise and handed me a piece of folded paper. I took it and returned to my desk where I left the notebook with all data.

"Were you going to go home already?" he asked while I unfolded the paper.

"Yeah, you came just in time. One minute later and I would be gone." I looked at the number and froze. No way, this was certainly wrong. I compared it to the other numbers. Definitely wrong.

"Something's wrong?" he stepped closer, peeking down on me.

"What?" I was so immersed in my thoughts I didn't hear him. "Excuse me," I said boldly and reached for his crotch. Just to make things clear, I wasn't completely myself, otherwise I wouldn't dare to even think about doing so. In that very moment I was simply researcher and nothing else.

Azriel sharply inhaled, eyes widened, but he held still, blushing heavily.

"As I thought," I mumbled to myself releasing him. "Sweetheart, you were supposed to measure yourself when you are.. You know.. 'excited'. I really didn't think you would try to sabotage the research," I tried to joke to lighten his embarrassment. "With your .. equipment.. there's no reason for you to lose. I thought you are quite competitive."

He just silently looked to the side while the shadows danced around him as if trying to hide him.

"Or did you want me to help you with it?" I smiled teasingly. His head snapped up, hazel eyes finding mine. "Sit down there," I pointed to an armchair near the window. While he did as I asked him, I took a chair, placing it next to the armchair, facing the other side. I took the notebook, a towel and a tape measure I used the other day, and sat down on the chair.

I looked at him amused. From this angle I could see only his face and shoulders. "Go ahead. I won't look." With that I opened the notebook looking for the page, but he hadn't moved gazing up at me.

I smiled still leafing through pages. "Let me tell you a secret, okay? We have something in common, Az." I leaned closer to him as if it was really a secret I was about to reveal. "When I say I won't look, then I really won't do it." I looked straight into his eyes to make it clear that I meant it. "I can even measure you without seeing it. I don't need to touch you either. All I need is for this measure to touch you. That's all. So take your pants off and let me know when you are ready."

At this moment he was panting heavily, his pupils dilated. "Do you want me to chit chat you through it? Or do you prefer silence?" I added, arching a brow at him when he just sat there gazing. Finally he moved and I heard as his pants slid down. Azriel's gaze darkened, his eyes never leaving mine.

He swallowed, his broad chest heaving. "I'm ready" he rasped, his usually deep voice deepened even more. I'd be lying if I said it didn't effect me. Now it was my turn to blush.

I handed him the towel. "Cover yourself." I stood up slowly to give him enough time. I turned to him placing notebook on a small side table within arm's reach. I gasped when I looked down at him. My heart went crazy, running for marathon and I could only wish he didn't hear it.

Azriel sat in the armchair in full grace as if it was his throne, his bare legs with muscles on right places spread wide, towel crumpled in his fist. He grinned challengingly.

Okay, maybe we have more than one thing in common. I hate losing, too.

My mouth went dry and I was panting as heavily as Azriel. My head emptied. It took me every ounce of self-control to step between his legs, control my trembling hands and measure him. But I did it, I didn't break.

"Much better," I said coolly as I wrote results down. I collected my things, ready to leave.

"You want to leave me like this, Y/N?" Azriel growled lowly.

I made the mistake and looked into his beautiful eyes. I wasn't sure what I'd seen in them, but it dug out all forgotten feelings. As wave of lust washed over me I lost control over myself. I sat down on the armrest, my legs brushing his thigh lightly. I placed hands on his shoulders and leaned in.

"You are right. I should repay you," I whispered inches from him.

For a while Azriel watched me as a starved man. Slowly, very slowly he erased the distance between us, his soft lips colliding with mine. The moan that came out from his throat made me forget whatever happened after that.

When his fingers found a waistband of my pants and started unbuttoning them, it was like a cold shower. I broke the kiss, untangling my fingers from his silky dark strands. Eyes still closed, his lips followed after me. I squeezed his fingers in my hands and he looked up at me. I could see he wasn't pleased that I stopped him, but he didn't try to pressure me.

"This part of me is not on offer," I said calmly sending him a sad smile. There wasn't reason to be mad. It was my fault in the first place, I was the one to provoke him. "For you it might be just another one night stay that you forget all about very next morning, but I'm different." I stood up fixing my clothes. "I take male to bed only when I have feelings for him and vice versa." He frowned, ready to say something. "I'm trying to say.. for me it isn't just sex.. To do it, I need real relationship, real feelings, security.. Lust isn't enough. I'm sorry." I left quickly and he didn't try to stop me this time.

Next day early in the morning I left to collect data at camps. Work helped me to forget about that night, but as soon as I stopped, it all returned. The most scary thing was to return back to Velaris and meet him. So I extended my stay as much as possible.

Four months later I was sitting in a sitting room of River House, chatting with Feyre and Mor by the fireplace after the family dinner. I collected all data to get some presentable results and currently I was half through writing in down. (Just between us, the rumors have proven to be true. Larger wingspan equals bigger you-know-what)

It was few weeks since I returned to Velaris and so far Azriel was avoiding me as much as possible. When we happened to be in the same room, he didn't even acknowledge me, looking the other side. So much for my fear.

Did it hurt? As hell. He was my friend. The feelings he awakened that night also didn't disappear over night, haunting me down every spare minute I had. I pushed them deep down, but it was too late. I'd already fallen for him.

During our stay at camps, Mor found out that something must have happened before we left, but she'd never asked about it. Which I was very grateful for. I wasn't ready to talk about it.

Now she kept peeking somewhere behind me, biting on her lower lip, unusually silent. Something was obviously bothering her. I could ask her straight away, but I decided to give her 5 minutes to see if she would start to talk on her own. It took exactly 3 minutes.

"Uhm, Y/N, tell me. Something happened between you and Az?"

"I may have hurt his male ego. Why?" I replied as casually as possible.

"He keeps eyeing you and I know that look too well. He watched me like that for five centuries, but it's never turned into something so... Desperate?" She turned to Feyre. "What do you think?"

Feyre inconspicuously peeked behind me, too. "Yeah, definitely desperate. And sad. Rhys said that lately he isn't himself. As if something was wrong with him? Maybe bothered him? But he won't talk about it."

Mor nodded. I had the urge to turn around and see for myself, but I resisted.

"What happened?" Mor asked and Feyre leaned closer, eager for details.

"Well, he kind of misunderstood the situation.. and I told him.. that I don't do the one night stay thing.."

"He actually went after you?" Mor beamed lowering her voice.

"Not really. I might have provoked him a bit," I reluctantly admitted.

They giggled like small girls, looking at each other.

"Y/N, believe me when I tell you that you can't provoke him," Mor whispered enthusiastically. "Nobody is able to break him. He is like.. granite."

"There must be something more behind it," Feyre added. "You should go and talk to him."

"You should," Mor agreed. "He looks to be on the verge of total breakdown." She again peeked behind me. "Go. Right. Now."

They both gave me nod, stood up and moved to another chat group. I stayed alone, just like Azriel who sat in an alcove with window behind me. I inhaled deeply, slowly breathing out. I could at least give it a try. Standing up I took my glass and walked to him.

"Hey."

"Hey," he answered lowly. I hardly heard him. His face was as unreadable as usually, but his impossibly beautiful hazel eyes.. Yeah, they were right. He looked to be on verge of breakdown. Even his posture was all wrong. Slumped shoulders, hunched over, wings hanging down. The shadows hoovered around him like embodiment of his current mood.

"Everything alright?"

He nodded looking away. Ouch. He didn't want to talk with me. I probably hurt his ego more than I thought. I was lost for words. Did he expect me to apologise? I certainly wouldn't do that. I had every right to stop him back then.

Oh, male and their ego. Suddenly memories of my ex flooded my mind. And I got mad. Rage was the only emotion that never disappeared completely nor healed.

I turned around, ready to leave before I could take it out on the wrong person. Strong fingers wrapped around my arm, stopping me. They held me gently, but firmly. I looked back at Azriel and all the rage was gone instantly.

"Would you mind to it down with me?"

I couldn't speak, still shocked by the pain in his eyes. Just when I was seated in the alcove, he released me and sat back down, too. Silence stretched between us.

"I meant to say this much sooner," he started slowly. "I'm so sorry for my poor behaviour. I'm so ashamed." My fingers curled into fist, but I didn't dare to interrupt him. "I know you were just joking to make me feel better, to relax. I knew it even back then. I wish I could explain why I did it, but I can't. I was.. dick."

And how big dick. I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself. This was serious situation. But in all seriousness, he broke the records. Nobody had bigger than him.

"I should have covered with towel as you asked me. I shouldn't have stopped you. I shouldn't have kissed you," he whispered the last sentence. "I should even be sorry that I kissed you, but I am not. I wanted it. Really wanted. Still want it. I'm trash." He stood up quickly. I managed to pull him back down before he could run away. My pulse skyrocketed.

Waitwaitwait. Had he just said that he still wanted to kiss me? My rational part demanded answers. I had to solve this question before my reckless heart could come to own conclusion. I didn't need another heartbreak.

I looked deep into his eyes. I looked only for truth and nothing else. "Tell me, Az, why? Why do you still want it?"

He blushed fiercely and tried to look away, but I wouldn't let him. "Please."

"I..love you," he whispered and my heart stopped for second only to start racing at a crazy pace later.

I wasn't sure he really said that. That must be just my imagination, right? I gazed at beautiful, elegant Elain with big doe eyes sitting on the other side of room, laughing with her sisters. Yeah, I imagined it. But when my eyes slid back to him, he was gazing right back, tensed, waiting.

"I'm sorry. I think I misheard," I smiled nervously.

"I said.. I love you," Azriel repeated quietly, but clearly.

A single tear rolled down my cheek. I didn't think. I couldn't. I just surged forward and hugged him. He stiffened for a heartbeat and then his strong arms wrapped around me and held me firmly. Another tear followed the first one and then another, until it turned into an endless stream. I felt a cool touch of his shadows. They hid us from prying eyes. Or so I thought.

World tilted to the side and we were in my office where it all had started.

"More private," Azriel whispered when I released him to take a look around, confused.

I quickly wiped tears away. "Oh." I still wasn't ready to talk. My head was a total mess. Love. Azriel just told me he loved me. And he was still waiting for my answer. But I wasn't currently able to put the words together to make even a simple sentence.

"Do you need water?" he offered, helping me to sit to an armchair, the very same armchair where he.. Nope, I couldn't think about it now. It would be too much.

What was the question? Ah, water.. Did I need it? I nodded anyway and he handed me a glass. I emptied it immediately.

Azriel watched me carefully as if I could explode any second. I was trying to find something to ground me and my eyes fell to the notebook. "Wingspan," I blurted. His brows furrowed. "You have the largest wingspan."

He huffed in amusement. "Do I?" Azriel took a step back, his eyes were sad again.

Maybe I was crazy, but I reached out and pulled him down on me. "I believe I still haven't repaid for your help."

He shook his head. " You don't have to-"

"I want." I cupped his cheeks between my hands. He hesitated searching my face, his body tensed above me.

Azriel slowly leaned down and kissed me. It was nothing like the last kiss driven by lust and desire. This kiss was careful, exploring. I pushed against his shoulder and we exchanged our positions.

Just like the last time, Azriel was sitting in the armchair and I was above him. I made sure there was space between us. I didn't want to provoke him, sex was out of the question yet. He knew it, too, and kept his hands on my waist.

I deepened the kiss and soon enough we both turned into a panting mess. Azriel's moan startled me.

"I'm sorry," he rasped.

I giggled. "You moaned back then, too."

"I can't help it," he smiled. Azriel leaned forward, keeping small space between us. He hid his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply again and again. "Touch them."

I swallowed. "What?"

"You can touch them," he spread his wings wide around us. "I've never allowed anybody to touch them. But now I want you to do so."

I was speechless second time today. Sacred Illyrian wings and he asked me to touch them. This was Illyrian way to say he trusted me. He trusted me even with his life.

I ran my fingers through his soft hair. "You know that.. there will be no sex today nor any time soon.." I hoped it came out as a joke. Truthful, but still joke.

He laughed breathlessly. "I know. That doesn't change the fact I want you to touch them. You said you want to repay me. So please.." He kissed the sensitive spot under my ear.

He got me there. If he only knew what he had called upon himself. I wanted to touch them, badly, but not only because they were his. I wanted it because I was the damn researcher which equals to a monster at times. I longed to feel the texture of the skin, to feel every single bone and muscle in them, everything.

"Are you really sure about this?" My attention was already trained on the beautiful enormous wings around me. This was his last chance to back out of this.

"Absolutely. So put those damn little hands of yours on them already," he rasped, landing another kiss to that sensitive spot.

He didn't need to repeat it again.

I gasped as tips of my fingers traced the soft skin around the bone. It. Was. Perfect. I expected them to be cold and rough to touch. Even though I touched him just lightly, I could feel every single muscle, even the smallest ones. The bone seemed to be so fragile and strong at the same time. Skin was so warm, stretchy and impossibly soft like baby's skin. I mapped every vein running through the membranes, his pulse drumming under my hands. I traced every scarred tissue I found, paying it extra attention.

I was so immersed into exploring his wings that I hadn't noticed what my curiosity did to Azriel until he came under me with a wall shattering roar. I winced, looking down at him.

His head was tilted back, eyes closed tightly. He was trembling and panting, his broad chest heaving heavily. Streams of sweat were running down the column of his exposed neck. His hands were fisting the material of armrests so tightly he almost torn it into shreds.

I couldn't believe I'd missed something so..amazing. Azriel was a piece of art in every possible meaning. My fingers traced the vein that bobbed out on his neck. He shuddered, his eyes slowly opened, looking up at me. Shadowsinger smiled weakly. "Only you can do this to me," his voice was hoarse.

I brushed away a damp strand of hair that fell to his forehead. My heart was beating wildly as I leaned in and kissed him slowly and deeply. His hands embraced me, pulling me closer.

"I love you," I whispered to his mouth.

I wasn't scared anymore. In this very moment I was more confident than ever that I would spend the rest of my life with this perfect male. Because he was mine and I was his.

#english isnt my first language #azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #az x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel angst #azriel #acotar x reader #acotar fanfiction #acotar #sarah j maas

[popquizhot-shot]

Father Mine- 3

ok so this is where canon goes out the window, ive made my own universe, this might be blasphemy against marvel comics but i dont know. Honestly i made this up as i kept going and i like how this chapter ended<3 tell me how you like it! if you want a spoiler go to the tags and see what i've tagged :) part 1

You must have passed out because you wake up in someone’s living room.

“Anyone home?” You dare to call out. The apartment is sort of open-plan and if you had the energy to turn around and move you would have been able to see the man in the white suit staring at you.

“Yep. Hello!” The man walks up to you and you flinch at his strong southern london accent and glaring white suit that makes him look like a psycho Colonel Sanders, “I hope you’re alright, Khonshu said you were from another dimension?”

You reluctantly reply, “That’s right? And by Khonshu do you mean the actual Egyptian God?”

He nods excitedly, “Yea! Right twit he is!”

You look at him worriedly, maybe he is psycho colonel sanders after all.

He looks at himself in the mirror and does a double take, “Oh bollocks! No wonder you look scared!” The suit disappears to reveal a man with wild curls in an oversize t-shirt and pajamas, “sorry, sometimes I forget I still have it on.” He smiles nervously, “Um I’m Steven. With a V.”

That causes you to smile a little, maybe he’s not so bad, “Hello Steven.” You wave from your position on the couch and tell him your name.

Behind him you see a bony pigeon looking skeleton appear and your eyes widen, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!” You point at it and scream.

Steven turns around, “That’s Khonshu, you can see him?”

“NO SHIT!” You web a wall and pull yourself up to stick to it, glaring at the offending creature.

“That’s mental.” He exclaims.

“What universe is this?” You ask him, eyes narrowed underneath your mask.

“Well, there’s no particular name for it.” Steven begins, but Khonshu intervenes, “How is it that you were able to traverse through the inter dimensional planes?”

“I knew someone who could.”

Suddenly Stevens demeanour changes and your spider sense tingles, you ready your webs against the potential threat.

The voice that comes out of Stevens mouth is not his. It’s the sound of the man who threw you here.

“Kid?” He says when you freeze and take your mask off, looking at him with wide eyes.

“You’re-You’re not Steven.” Your voice breaks at the familiar lilt.

He shakes his head, “My name is Marc.”

———————————-

“Miguel! Stop it!” Jess finally snaps and the man looks up at her.

She takes a hold of his hair and uses it to maneuver his face to look at him, “You either go and get her back, or you fucking move on. Because in this state there is no way you will be able to do anything. Get your shit together. ”

He gulps, not used to seeing her angry side often and nods.

“She thinks I’m a monster.” He looks down at his toes and breathes shakily.

“Then prove to her that you’re not. You’re her father, regardless of what she says, she still loves you. You need to apologize to her.” She looks at him pointedly and he sighs.

"What do you want me to say, 'Hey honey, I know what I did was wrong, I was wrong to chase a teenager and I was too blinded by my fear of losing my daughter again that I chased you away. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' Thats not going to be good enough."

"It's a start."

"Jessica." he looks up

"What?"

"I should have told you, something about her."

"What?"

"She's not a normal variant, even if her universe was destroyed. That fact alone makes her a special case. There's a reason I sent her to Earth 19999. Her atoms and dna will not glitch there. And I don't know why."

"Why didn't you send her there before?"

"It was too dangerous."

"As opposed to Earth 1999999?" Jess raises an eyebrow.

"Very similar universes, but everything is flipped."

The woman tilts her head, "What do you mean?"

————-

You sip on the hot tea Steven had made for you, glaring at the bony god sitting opposite you.

“I cannot send you back, child.” He says and you roll your eyes,

“As if I didn’t know that. The tea’s lovely, thank you.” You smile at Steven who beams at you. He’s much nicer than the American man living inside him. The one who was Miguel in this universe.

“Marc?”

He nods, “I happen to know of someone who can help you.”

You tilt your head, “Go on.”

He went to explain how he was on call as an Avenger, who were considered the world’s mightiest heroes, and how he was acquainted with someone known as Dr Strange.

As soon as he says, the name Strange, your mind considers the possibility that you might be in the universe of idiots, as Miguel calls it. Earth-1999999.

He’s spent whole hours explaining the entire storyline that honestly came out of a movie to you and while it was such, really Captain America you ditched your best friend to go be with someone who had already moved on? You were drawn to the universe.

It reminded you very much of your home universe that was destroyed.

When you’d nodded and said you’d be on your way he’d blocked you from leaving. Saying it was too dangerous and that you were being an irresponsible person.

You tried to reason with him but he was able to block your punches with efficiency, and he reached for your web slingers. The ones Miguel had given you.

That was currently why there was a purple bruise on Stevens’s cheek that you felt bad about. This sweet man didn’t deserve to suffer the consequences of a hard punch. So you had helped him around the kitchen and he made you tea as a way of saying thank you.

“If you can’t take me away, you can atleast lead me to Strange, considering your own Knight isn’t letting me leave.”

“For good reason.”

“But it doesn’t make sense, without the watch I would be glitching every three seconds because the universe would not accept my genes. Here I haven’t glitched a single time.”

The god tilts his head and seems to contemplate your words, mimicking the man who looks at you with his head tilted, “Most interesting.”

Whatever you were going to say died on your tongue as orange sparks began to appear out of thin air, forming a circle and then a portal out of which a man with a weird beard walks through. He nods at Steven and walks over to you, “So you’re the one huh?”

“No, your mom is.” You snarl, “Yes. Doctor Strange, I’ve heard of you.”

“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow, “Am I a common topic of conversation in the multiverse?”

“When we have to make fun of something yes.” You grin.

He rolls his eyes, “How did you arrive here?”

“Look I'd leave if I could, sir. But my device was taken away by the jerk who sent me here.”

His eyes narrow, “Sent you?”

Shit, you might have said the wrong thing.

------------------

"So you're not from here." The sorcerer supreme raises his eyebrow at you.

"No, sir." you're shocked at your politeness, but the man demands respect.

"And you cannot go back?"

"No."

"There is only one person now, who is capable of autonomous multiverse travel, America Chavez. And even her powers are not perfect. It is too risky to do this."

"What would you have me do then?" you ask.

"Wait here, there must be a reason you are not glitching. Maybe, you were meant to be sent here." Strange reasons.

His words make sense, honestly, maybe this universe would be your new home. Even back in Nueva York, you had to wear the watch at all times, or you'd be glitching.

But did Miguel know that? Because if he didn't know, then that would mean he'd sent you to your death.

You just nod at what Strange says, his words going in one year and out the other. You miss the way his eyes glint and flash. His shadow moving under him.

"She can stay with us at the tower." Steven puts his hand on your shoulder, looking directly at Strange, no smile on his face. After a few moments, the Doctor nods.

Your spider sense starts to tingle, and you glace at Steven, who only smiles at you. All teeth. Eyes that are blank. Devoid of emotion.

Now that you're here to stay, he looks like he's never been happier.

"You're going to enjoy yourself here, love." he pats your shoulder, "We'll all have a bit of fun."

You need to run.

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #marc spector #atsv miguel #father mine #mini miguel<33 #mandela catalogue #atsv

[spacexseven]

in for a penny, in for a pound (ii)

note: hi :> these were the most requested characters since part one, and i might even be open to working on another part for more characters if you all are interested! i tried changing things up with deuce's part :O honestly, the part that took me the longest was figuring out reasons you'd need to ask someone to fake date you for...

summary: yandere! riddle, azul & deuce fake dating reader

pairings: riddle x reader | azul x reader | deuce x reader

cw: yandere characters, obsessive behavior, obsession, forced relationships, blackmail, manipulation, abuse of authority, threats, violence, deceit, guilt-tripping, drugging, imprisonment, implied non-consensual kissing

when you asked riddle to fake date you, it was just a silly joke.

che'nya, surprisingly still in one piece, had slinked up next to you a day ago, with that mischievous grin that seemed to be stuck on his face, "i'm paw-sitive riddle might like you."

you scoffed at that, rolling your eyes, "as if!" though you had to admit the thought was a little funny. riddle, having a crush? and on you? "by the way, don't you have class?"

"don't worry about me!" he cried out, disappearing for a moment and reappearing in front of you, his hands on your shoulders and eyes staring into yours, "aren'cha even a little bit curious?"

"no. besides, don't they say curiosity killed the cat? you better watch out."

at your remark, he grinned gleefully, before continuing to press you on the issue, "he really really really likes ya~"

"if you don't believe me, why don't you try asking him to go out with you?" che'nya suggested, looking surprisingly serious, "i bet'cha he'll be purring in joy."

"sure, che'nya," you sighed, "if it'll get you off my back about this."

"purr-fect! i'll be watching!"

so, to appease his burning curiosity, here you were, standing in front of an uncharacteristically silent riddle.

"together?...like dating?" he stares, wide-eyed.

"yes," you echo, "like dating. but if you're uncomfortable-"

"no, not at all!" he freezes suddenly, "i mean, if it's you..."

you were taken aback. did he just agree to be your boyfriend? you find yourself frowning at him, "you know, you can just say no. i won't take it personally."

"but why would i say no? i meant it, i wouldn't mind."

"really?" he must have caught the surprised look on your face because then he says something you would have never expected to hear from him.

"i like you, after all." riddle looks satisfied, standing proudly in front of you as if he hadn't just said the most insane thing.

"no way," before you can stop yourself, the words are out of your mouth, "i can't believe it! are you in on this with che'nya?"

there was no way to you that riddle, who rarely spared you a second glance, was standing here now, confessing his sudden affection to you. it didn't make any sense.

"what?" riddle seems indignant, now wearing a matching frown, "what does he have to do with this?"

"don't act like you don't know!" you scoff, "i've been set up! how embarrassing, ugh, i'll get back at him..."

riddle slowly blinks at your agitated reaction, "i don't know what you're talking about," he says, at last, "but i really meant it. about liking you, i mean."

"did you?" you look around, thinking how awkward the entire situation was. if he was being serious, saying something like 'no, i was just kidding' would totally sound like a jerk move, right?

"yes."

"you know, i was being serious too..." you finally reply, "sorry about that whole...outburst, i thought che'nya told you to pretend to like me or something."

"why would he?" riddle asks, "that would be...a cruel thing to do, pretending to like someone."

considering that that was exactly what you had just done, you resort to smiling awkwardly at him, saying your goodbyes before leaving. it's alright. you'd find a way to break up with him soon.

riddle only gets increasingly difficult to avoid since that day, which irritated you to no end. riddle was nice, but you had no feelings for him whatsoever and while you were hoping he'd lose whatever interest he had in you as the days passed, he only seemed even more enamored. internally, you curse out che'nya—this was all because of his meddling—as riddle's voice floats in from behind you.

"we should get something to eat together—" typical riddle, to not even bother asking you first. he says it so resolutely like the decision had already been made, by him. you hated how he did that, always choosing for you. he was always overbearing in that aspect, but it only got worse after the confession.

you successfully talked yourself out of it for the last week or so, but before that he had you seated right next to him every day without fail. he also insisted the two of you study together, and almost signed you up for the equestrian club with him despite you having no interest or skill in it. who would have thought riddle was so clingy?

"i already have plans."

"cancel them."

you turn around in shock, taken aback by his sudden demand, "what are you talking about? i can't just do that, just because you want me to."

"but," he frowns, the expression perfectly natural on his face, "i'm your boyfriend. who's more important than me? and, i'm your friend."

"riddle," you sigh, finally realizing this had to come to an end, "i don't think you realize how unhealthy this is. you think that i have to put you above everyone else, and you only ever want to spend time with me. what happened to trey, and your other friends? i thought you were starting to like yuu as well?"

he looks offended by your suggestion, an almost frightening scowl fixed on him now, "it's not unhealthy. it's perfectly normal for a couple to be all over each other. and, unlike you, i know to take care of my lover first before anyone else."

was there no way to reason with him? "but riddle, if you ignore your friends, they'll be hurt. what if things don't work out, and we break up? if you don't have your friends to rely on, who will help you then?"

he looks bewildered that you'd ever even consider such a situation, "that will never happen," he says, as though it was a fact, "i won't let it. so there is no need to worry."

the way he kept refusing to listen really frustrated you, especially since this had been going on for what seemed like forever. it was torturous at this point, having him ruin everything around you if it meant your attention would only be on him. how ever would you get through to him? as the anger coiled in your stomach, you made a huge mistake, revealing to him the truth behind your words from that day and unintentionally sealing your fate.

"i never liked you," so blinded by frustration, you didn't pause to gauge his reaction—something you'd later regret tremendously, "che'nya told me to ask you out, but i never had any feelings for you then, and i still don't feel anything but hate for you now. i just wanted to prove a point."

riddle's face is blank before a tense and obviously forced smile creeps on it, "you're really mean when you're mad. but the only person who should be mad now is me."

"i'm not being mean. this is the truth. i never liked you and i never will. don't talk to me anymore—i don't want to see you ever again," with a scalding glare at him, you storm out of the halls and out of riddle's sight. when you were finally back in your room, you breathed out a sigh of relief, not prepared for the events about to unfold.

"i would never do such a thing."

crowley chuckles awkwardly, the sound obviously forced, "all i'm saying is that it's mr rosehearts' word against yours. i'm sure you understand how this looks?"

how did it look? riddle, the dorm leader and one of the best students in nrc to be accusing you of stealing — who would believe you over him? he was a lot more influential thank you, and he ruled with an iron fish. nobody would dare oppose him anyway. you wouldn't be too surprised if crowley was sucking up to him as well.

"but perhaps you could...plead your case with him. it could likely be a misunderstanding, no? i shall give you two some privacy and not speak of this to anyone yet, for i —" at the withering look riddle shot him, the headmaster cleared his throat and briskly exited the room without finishing his usual line.

"i can't believe that you would lie—"

your incessant rambling is stopped by riddle's authoritative tone and the terrifying message his words carried, "it doesn't matter if it's a lie. what matters is that you'll be expelled from nrc. i'd love to see how you explain that to your family back home."

"you—this is going too far now, riddle. you can't drag my family into this," you seethe, feeling more angry when you noticed the smug look on his face.

"i can do whatever i want," he stares into your eyes, "but if you were to take back what you said that day and promise to be the best partner for me, i could just as easily explain to mr crowley that i was mistaken about the identity of the thief. not a word of this would leave this room and everyone will be happy."

for a moment, you wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole. anything would be better than agreeing to riddle's stupid demands, but you couldn't be expelled. it would destroy your family and your reputation. after a few, heavy moments, you seal your fate once again.

it only occurs to you, when you finally get in touch with a friend of yours who you hadn't seen in nrc for a while, that when riddle said he would tell mr crowley he was wrong about who the thief was, he was using that opportunity to rip away a good friend of yours by framing them for the crime instead. now, the grip riddle had on your arm feels more like the chains connecting you to a neverending nightmare.

when you asked azul to fake date you, it was because of a little crush.

you knew he was way out of your league, but you've always had a silly little crush on him from the day you saw him. azul was a year above you, but he was so popular that everyone knew about him. apart from being smart and suave, you were so impressed by how he managed to do well in school, supervise the dorm and run the mostro lounge (a place you stopped by almost every day, and not just because you were hoping to catch a glimpse of azul—the food was amazing). the few times you've talked to him, it was mostly because he came by to ask if you were enjoying your time in the lounge, but each time you were too flustered to answer. how embarrassing...

and then there was also word going around about his contracts. you weren't sure how legal any of it was, but you weren't about to miss an opportunity like this. sure, you had heard the horror stories, about how azul made the people who couldn't hold their end of the deal slave away in the lounge, and took possession of their skills, but you were still determined to at least get a consultation. you got lucky, as a friend of a friend knew someone who could pull some strings and ensure you get a session with azul personally to discuss your wish.

you had no idea how to approach it with him, realizing it would sound rather stupid to come out and say you just wanted him to hold your hand and go out with you for a few weeks, but finally, you decided that the best way to go about things would be to be honest.

still, it didn't mean you felt any less awkward talking to him about it.

"you want me...to date you?" azul is still smiling, but you can sense his confusion. you couldn't blame him, you knew it sounded weird.

"i've liked you for a while," you say, unable to look straight at him, "so i thought if we did this i could finally..deal with my feelings and get over it. i mean, i've been idolizing you in my head, so a reminder that you're pretty normal would help, i think?"

"i see. honestly, i'm flattered," he says, leaning back into his seat, "and while it's different from the usual things people ask me, i'm not so cruel as to turn you away. in fact, i won't even ask anything in return—" you go to interrupt without thinking, but azul only holds up a hand and you go quiet again. at that moment, he looked rather pleased.

"it wouldn't be fair to ask anything in return since i'm only losing my time. i could even argue that you have more to lose from this. but of course, i'll be needing something to hold as...collateral in the event that you breach the contract or take advantage of this arrangement. there will be a lot of terms to this."

you nod eagerly, ready to accept any and all terms he was going to write. despite the ominous feeling crawling up your spine, you found it all so exciting! dating azul ashengrotto! even if it was just temporary and not really a relationship, you were sure you could soothe the strange infatuation you had with him through this.

"something simple," he continues," what about...your ability to communicate? meaning your voice, of course, and other things—" he doesn't elaborate on that, and you foolishly, don't ask him to, "—most of the contract terms ask you not to say anything more than what i allow you to say about our arrangement to anyone if asked or exaggerate it, so i think it would be a fair exchange. don't worry, this is just a formality set in place. you seem like a good person. i'm sure this will go smoothly."

you weren't sure how smoothly things were going.

it was great...at first. you had regularly scheduled dates, and he wasn't against the hand-holding you wanted. in fact, the contract even allowed for kissing, though you noted azul seemed to get flustered from even the slightest physical contact. it seemed like he was really trying his best to make this a good time for you, but you weren't going to do more than this if it meant he might be uncomfortable. azul would walk by you in the hall and stop to ask you about your day, walk you from your last class to the lounge where you hung out with him for some time, helped you with your work, and even bought you gifts. when you tried telling him he didn't have to, he only insisted you keep it. he was just such a perfect boyfriend.

and that was the issue. you went into this thinking that you'd see how azul was just like most other people in nrc, but he was honestly impressing you with how caring he was and how great he was as a partner. it was almost too good to be true, and it felt like your whole plan had backfired on you. instead, you thought you might be falling for him even more from this.

but there was also the...unpleasant side to him. he wasn't exactly mean to you, but there were those times he'd stare too coldly at your friends and insist you ditch them to go out with him instead, and the times he kept pressing you to stay over in octavinelle for the night, going as far as to say he could talk to crowley about you moving to the dorm permanently, though such a thing was unheard of. he wanted to know every little detail about your day, and even if you could talk animatedly about everything, it was getting a little weird when he kept asking. but the weirdest part? the few times you brought up the contract, asking him about how long it was meant to last, he only changed the subject. he didn't even let you take a second look at it, claiming there was nothing you had to worry about. now you were left confused about the details.

it had been a month already, and you were starting to feel like it was time you ended things with azul. sure, he still made your heart flutter the few times he genuinely smiled at you, and he had a way of making you feel important, but it was a little draining to keep up with the facade when you were worried about deepening your feelings for him. after some encouragement from your friends, you gathered up the courage to approach him about it.

you thought of many ways things could go, maybe he would be pleased to end things, or maybe he'd explain the contract still had a day or two on it. maybe he'd draw up another agreement that would say you couldn't speak about this to anyone ever again. but you hadn't been expecting such an angry refusal.

"no."

you quickly put down the half-empty glass, your fingers curl up into your palm as you waited for him to elaborate—but that was all he said.

"sorry, but i don't understand—"

he smiles, but the expression looks patronizing, "i don't expect you to. you see, according to our contract, since you didn't give any more details, it is up to me when our arrangement ends. and i don't want it to end now, or for the foreseeable future."

upon noticing the shock on your face, he reaches out to place a comforting hand on your balled-up fists, though it feels like it serves to be a warning, "why do you look so distraught? weren't you the one who liked me? i gave it some thought, and you're pretty cute, [name]. i didn't think anyone would love me, but you did, and i would be a fool to let this opportunity slip by. i don't see why you would be upset. this is a mutually beneficial relationship, isn't it?"

"i don't...not anymore. please, i just want things to back to normal," you choke out, "i need my space and my time again."

"well, aren't you straight to the point? my dear, as much as i would hate for it to come to this, if you refuse to accept my decision, i'll consider it a breach of the contract."

"i'll tell everyone," you threaten him, though your voice is shaky, "they'll all know about this. nobody would ever—"

your voice begins to fade, words stuck in your throat and being dragged back down. you scratch at your throat, feeling like a lock had been placed on it, but to no avail. your voice was gone. and azul...he looked like the cat that got the cream.

"i warned you..." he says, his voice muffled. your world begins to slow down and melt, colors merging together and your senses dulling. you could just about make out a hand on your head, stroking you slowly as he continues talking, but his words slur, and your head spins.

"good morning," you're greeted by a voice that sent chills down your spine, and you began frantically trying to hide back under the covers as azul approaches you. was this his room? how did he get you here?

"i'm terribly sorry about how i had to deal with your outburst," he sighs, "but you were just being unreasonable. you agreed to the contract, so it's on you for failing to keep your promises too. don't worry, though. i understand it must have been overwhelming for you. you said...you said you were afraid the arrangement only resulted in making you like me more, didn't you? that's not a bad thing at all. i like you a lot now, too, thanks to the contract. i didn't realize how nice it would be to have someone by my side..."

you turn your head away, feeling hot, angry tears race down your cheeks. azul isn't perturbed in the slightest by the sight.

"i don't want you to think i'm leading you on. if i didn't like you, i would have ended the thing within a week, but we kept it going, didn't we? and we're suited for each other, don't you think? i would have thought you'd be happier about how things turned out, [name]. isn't this what you wanted?"

you felt like a scolded child, but you were enraged by the way he was treating you. you weren't a pet for him to keep locked up. you didn't want to be with him, not anymore. not after you learned about his true nature. you should have known it was a stupid idea from the start, and now it was too late to take it back.

you try to scream, but your mouth feels like it's filled with sand and your voice has shrunk. azul only chuckles at your frustrated expression and comes closer.

he sits down beside you, a hand cradling your cheek, "i'm a little nervous about this," he admits, "i've done my research but i'm still not so sure—though we can always learn together. after all, the best way to improve is by practice..."

you had been too trusting of azul, and it cost you your freedom.

when deuce asked you to fake date him, it was to back up a lie.

the whole situation was quite bizarre. deuce had found himself at the receiving end of jeering classmates, who were oddly enough, picking on his inexperience in dating. however they learned about that was beyond you, but you knew how hard deuce was working to become a model student, so you knew it took great restraint in him to not hit them. but in order to silence the taunting, he instead blurted out a lie about dating you.

deuce was pretty close with you, as the both of you met on the first day of school, but it was still quite unexpected that he'd do such a thing. his request was strange, to say the least, but you couldn't exactly refuse, since he had always been there for you. there were many instances when you had to do something you dreaded and deuce would, without complaint, step up and do the task. whenever someone jeered at you about something or the other, deuce would instantly go to beat them up, throwing caution to the wind. you just wished he didn't do it on your behalf, since you always felt guilty afterward.

all of that lead you to your current predicament.

"you...you're going to have to date me!"

you hadn't been expecting to be greeted like that, and your puzzled expression must have been obvious, as he rushes to explain himself, but after hearing him out you agree anyways, "it's not any trouble for me, but...are you sure about this?"

it was a little weird. very weird, to be honest. but deuce had always been there to help you out, and you didn't want to turn him down. if you refused him, nobody else could help. you couldn't exactly let him go back out there and face the teasing again, worried he might lose his temper. he refused to even tell you who it was that poked fun of him, so there was nothing else you could do. besides, if you were ever in a predicament like this, there was no doubt in your mind that deuce would help without question. it was the least you could do.

honestly, this didn't feel like the best way to proceed, but he insisted that he couldn't face admitting that he lied about dating you to 'everyone, so you swallow your doubts and assure him it would be alright. after more careful discussion, the plan was ready to begin as soon as he wanted it. deuce insisted he walk you back to your dorm, all the way talking about something or the other.

this wasn't exactly anything new between the two of you, but he kept redirecting the conversation back to your new status as a 'couple' and it left you a little concerned.

"now that i think about it...my mom would be over the moon about this. i mean, me, and you? she wouldn't believe it!" you laugh awkwardly in response, but you were confused about why he would need to tell his mom. the two of you could probably end things soon, and the chances of her finding out were pretty slim anyway.

despite your feelings, you keep quiet and watch him walk away, still a little unsure about the whole thing.

today, deuce insisted you sit with him and his friends.

"no offense," ace says, waving deuce aside, "but i can't believe it. what did you even see in him? he's liked you for so long, but i didn't think you felt like that for him too."

it wasn't surprising that his friends thought you two were actually dating, since he insisted that you couldn't let anyone know the truth, so you decided to humor them. but his last words startled you a little. deuce...liked you? you put aside that piece of information and focus on answering his question instead.

"i mean, he's pretty cute and—" you don't miss the way deuce's eyes widen "—he's so considerate and kind. i've known him for a while and...i don't know, it just felt right."

you quickly glance at deuce, who was extremely silent and staring at his food like it was the most intriguing thing at the moment. was he embarrassed that his feelings were revealed?

ace groans out loud, saying something about how lucky deuce was and how unfair it was, but you blocked him out, feeling rather stupid about your earlier words, and bewildered about why he'd ask you to fake date him if he already actually liked you. that sounded like torture, to be honest. you finish your food and leave as quickly as you can, claiming you had some work to finish. surprisingly, deuce stood up after you, rushing to catch up with your fast steps.

"i'm so sorry! i know the whole thing about me liking you came out of nowhere, but i didn't want to make things awkward, that's all!"

"that's alright, but it's still...isn't it weird? i mean, lying to your friends? and i don't know...it feels like i'm leading you on. i never knew you thought of me like that."

deuce looks taken aback by your words, "huh? it's not weird at all! i just had to lie so that they wouldn't accidentally tell anyone else the truth. and don't worry! you're not leading me on or anything. i asked you for this, right?"

"right," you mutter, "but still, you do know that i don't really like you?"

he looks a little hurt by the question and you internally scream at yourself, feeling quite terrible for saying that. why were you treating deuce like he'd do something creepy? it was deuce. he'd never...he wouldn't do anything like that...

"i didn't mean to—"

"no," he laughs awkwardly, "i get it. but seriously, you're only helping me out here! if you're worried that this might make things weird between us, i promise it won't. in fact, i think it's helping us grow closer."

he looked like he meant his words, too, which relieved you a little. you just hoped this whole thing would blow over soon so you didn't hurt him any more than you might have already.

it didn't blow over. instead, it felt like deuce was making it even more of a big deal than it was.

you were rushing down to a classroom that you were told deuce was in after wreaking havoc on a group of students. you watched as some of them limped out, glaring at the room they exited, before entering the now-empty room yourself, closing the door behind you.

"deuce?" you call out, worry seeping into your tone, "are you here?"

you find him seated at a table near the back, looking at his hands with a frown.

"i'm sorry," he finally says, acknowledging your entry, "i—they were talking about you so rudely. i couldn't just sit back and listen to that."

"deuce," you sigh, "i get it, but this...you really hurt them. i don't understand why you feel the need to go so far."

"i thought...as your boyfriend...it was the right thing to do," he whispers, "i just wanted you to see me. see that i can take care of you. don't you want that?"

you're exasperated, tired of repeating the same line over and over again. even you don't feel the weight it should carry anymore, "this relationship is fake."

"but it feels right, doesn't it?"

"sorry?"

"i mean...us. you said it felt right," he exhales, "i've been trying so hard to be perfect for you. i've done everything you wanted, to show you how much i care, so why can't you let me believe this for a little while longer? we've done this for this long, would a few more days matter?" he pleads, "just...let me believe that i had a chance."

"deuce, i really don't want to hurt you."

"i'm the one hurting myself," he sounds painfully heartbroken, "but just give me a few more days. please. i'll leave you alone after that."

some part of you didn't want to trust him, but another part of you felt bad for him. maybe it wouldn't be too bad to go on like this for a few more days, but you didn't want him to delude himself any further than he already had. however, the moment you looked at him, so pitifully waiting for your response, you knew you couldn't deny him.

his face drops as someone knocks on the door, "are you two alright in there?"

deuce glances at you for a moment, and at your hesitant nod, a little smile crawls onto his face, "we're alright."

"yeah," you stare at where his hands held yours, his fingers trembling, echoing his words back, "we're alright."

who would've thought his innocent crush on you would grow so dangerously?

#yandere twst x reader #yandere twst #yandere x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst x you #yandere riddle rosehearts #yandere riddle x reader #riddle x reader #yandere azul #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #yandere deuce x reader #yandere deuce spade #deuce x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #fic 🐟 #twst 🐟 #deuce 🐟 #azul 🐟 #riddle 🐟 #os 🐟 #this is UNEDITED HELL #welcome <3 hope u like it

[michverdun]

(Morph by viralsmorphs, who is as far as I can tell is completely off the internet, unfortunately.)

I made my way down the old wooden stairs, being careful to not make noise. I kept one hand on the rail, my eyes failing to adjust to the darkness in the basement. Even still, I could feel that he was there. There was just something in the air that made my hair stand on end.

I fumbled with the basement wall until I found the light switch and flipped it. Instantly the basement was lit up, revealing concrete walls with random assortments of wood, guns and other things my parents didn't want their friends knowing about. Directly opposite the staircase was him, chained to the wall in all of his muscled glory.

His face looked almost the same as it did when he left all those years ago, with the exception of being a little more masculine and a new stubbly beard. It was his body that had the most change, as he had gained am incredible amount of muscle. His arms and legs bulged with power, and as he lifted an arm up to his eyes I could see the bicep bulge, far bigger than any other arm I had ever seen. His pecs were two giant, hairy pillows. He slowly bounced them as I stared at his physique, watching the muscle flex and swell. It was only then that I looked back up at his face. He was smiling, brandishing some sharp canines.

"You came down here all by yourself? Defenseless? Brave little thing." He said, his voice dripping with testosterone. It had to be a few octave deeper then the last time I had spoken to him.

"I brought a gun." I snapped.

"And no silver bullets. That thing's useless on me." He chuckled.

I sat down on the floor by the staircase, bringing my knees to my chest. I had thrown down a pair of shorts a few hours ago, when my parents confirmed that he wasn't dead and chained him up. He was stretching them to the limit.

"Is there a reason you came down here alone? or is it just to stare? Honestly, I don't mind either way." He flexed one of his arms, the bicep swelling into a ball of hard steel, almost as big as my head.

I felt my dick start to harden as I kept watching him. God he looked so perfect, but I had other things to do other than watch. He had disappeared from my life years ago, and now he was here again, transformed into a werewolf of all things. I had to know.

"What does it feel like?" I asked.

He stopped flexing as he just stared at me in surprise, his cocky facade faltering.

"I've known you for so long, I can trust you to tell me the truth, right?" I added.

"Of course. When I got bitten first, it hurt like hell, but after..." he let out a low growl, "It felt fucking perfect. My senses were so sharp, they felt superhuman. The moon's power, the strength, it-- I could feel it pulsing through my body, making me bigger, and BIGGER--"

He moaned as he felt up his own body, clearly getting worked up from his own description as his cock threatened to tear through the shorts that were already bursting at the seams with muscle. I saw his fingernails lengthen and darken until they were claws on the end of his fingers, and while it was slight, I could tell that he was getting bigger.

"The best part was seeing how much bigger I was compared to other people. Normal humans just can't compare anymore, and every time I transform back I get bigger. Seeing all of those worthless fuckers in town panic after seeing me again almost made it worth all of the shit they put me through."

"Is that why you came back?" I asked

He shook his head and smiled, as if why he was here was already obvious.

"I came back for you. You've spent your whole life under the thumb of your parents, afraid of what they'd do to you if you left. I know they want you to keep up the hunting tradition, to "protect the righteous", but you don't have to anymore. I can protect you."

I thought back to the fight just hours ago. He took a beating from my parents, and gave it back in equal measure. I was almost sure he was going to kill my father, until my father slammed him in the back of the head with a silver-plated sledgehammer. It took me hours of begging to keep him alive, but now he looked fully healed, even while being wrapped in silver chains. Chains I didn't have the key for.

"I can't get you out of that," I said, pointing to his chains "Dad's got the key right on his nightstand, and if I got caught he'd--"

He didn't even wait for me to finish, as he strained against the chains with all of his might. the chains pulled taut, but with a deep roar firm him, he snapped those chains, freeing himself.

I looked on in awe. That much silver would have left any other werewolf almost catatonic, but he was able to rip it off of himself easily.

"I'm stronger than I look."

He stared down at me as I stood up my hands shaking. He towered over me, being well over 6 feet tall. Even with his height, His body was thick with muscle, to the point of almost impeding his movement. For him to be that tall and that muscled, he truly had to be a monstrous man.

In seconds after I got up, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. He pressed my head deep into his pecs, fully engulfing me in muscle. I felt the beat of his heart thump in his chest.

"I've dreamt about this moment for years, I just knew I had to be strong enough. Please, run away with me. I left my truck on the other side of town, and I have a place where we could live together. IF you wanted to, I mean, I know one of the other guys in the pack has a place you could have all to yourself. I can't wait for you to meet them, I'vetalkedaboutyousomuchand--"

He was cut off by the sound of me laughing, elated that my life was about to change. He looked down at me, tears in his eyes, waiting for my answer. I saw the clock on the wall change to 3:00 AM, the witching hour. We had plenty of time before my parents woke up.

"Lets get out of here." I said, and before sunrise we were gone.

#muscle fiction

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Hallelujah pt. 2

Roughly 3 months after Blake summoned Demon!Yang.

Blake: (ears twitch as hushed whispers pull her from sleep)

Shrill Voice: Do you have any idea how much danger you're in staying at a CHURCH?!

Demon!Yang: Shhhhh! Keep it down! You're going to wake up Blake.

Shrill Voice: That's another thing! Why in the Four Planes would you strike a deal with a nun?! If the counsel of this church finds out a demon, and the daughter of the devil at that, is "stealing the pure soul" of one of their devout followers, they're going to kill you. You KNOW what happens to demons if they die on holy ground!

Demon!Yang: Awww, Weissy the Icy Queen is worried about me~

Blake: (opens her eyes and blinks at the pure white being surrounded by a halo of light and white wings scowling at Yang in her demon form) .....There is an angel and a demon in my room.....

Demon!Yang: (snaps her head towards Blake) Blake! Hey! Sorry, did we wake you up? (glances at Weiss) Oh, this is Weiss. She's an angel, obviously.

Angel!Weiss: (sighs tiredly) Yes, I'm an angel, and one who questions her poor life decisions every day. (glances at Blake) I take it you're the one who made a pact with Yang?

Blake: .....I am. (notices her lack of clothes and pulls the blankets up over herself)

Angel!Weiss: Don't bother. I've seen everything already. Save your modesty for someone who cares.

Blake: Uh... noted. (looks to Yang) Why is there an angel in my room?

Demon!Yang: She's just trying to make sure I don't do anything stupid.

Angel!Weiss: (sticks her finger in Yang's face) No. I'm trying to make sure you don't do anything catastrophic. Ruby would be heartbroken if you suddenly disintegrated because you got killed in a monastery!

Demon!Yang: Thank you, Weiss! Warning heeded! (slices a portal open with her claws and pushes Angel!Weiss through) Bye, Weiss! Thanks for visiting! Give Ruby my love when you get to heaven!

Angel!Weiss: You insufferable brute- (phases through the portal)

Demon!Yang: (wipes forehead and turns to Blake) Well! I think I'm gonna go take a walk around the abbey. Toodles! (flaps wings and bolts to the window)

Blake: Stop.

Demon!Yang: (freezes just short of the window)

Blake: What did Weiss mean you would disintegrate if you died on holy ground?

Demon!Yang: (slumps and sighs heavily as she slowly descends to the floor) ....If demons die in the human world, we just go poof and wake up back in Hell. If we die in a church or on holy ground, or get killed by a high enough member of the church, we just go poof.

Blake: (arches an eyebrow) Poof?

Demon!Yang: Yup (wipes a handful of dust off the floor with her tail and blows a cloud into the air) Poof. Do not pass Go. Do not wake up in Hell. After that, no one knows what happens to them. They just disappear.

Blake: (wraps the blanket around herself and walks over to Yang) And you knew this when you accepted my summon? You still made a pact with me despite the fact that you knew you could disappear if you were found out?

Demon!Yang: Or if you decided to tell someone I was here. Kind of another reason why I was keeping that hush-hush.

Blake: Why?

Demon!Yang: Honestly, there was something about you. I don't know what it was, but I felt something in your heart and soul that made me want to help.

Blake: (hesitantly cups Yang's cheek) Thank you.

Demon!Yang: (blushes and clears her throat) Y-Your welcome.

Blake: (heart pounding in her chest, face flushes, and swallows thickly) Are you still hungry?

Demon!Yang: (blinks in confusion) N-No. I'm good. Thank you.

Blake: (takes a deep breath) I might be.

Demon!Yang: Oh! (locks eyes with Blake and swallows) I guess I'm a little peckish.

Blake: (gently kisses the corner of Yang's mouth) Take me to bed then?

Demon!Yang: (eyes widen in shock and stutters) Y-Yes, Ma'am.

Part 1

#bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby #demon yang #nun blake #angel weiss #Demon in the Chapel Au #weiss schnee

[edensrose]

˚◞❀˳ a proper farewell

god that title sounds dramatic as fuck so let me just clear things up immediately: no, I'm not leaving tumblr, I will still be very manageable to reach and interact. what I am drifting away from is the tolkien fandom — and since this place, despite my hardships, has meant so much to me - I decided to give it a proper little farewell, to the people who made everything count. along with a little explanation for my decision while shedding light on my experience. ( I'll try to be brief )

I joined the tolkien fandom while writing for thranduil, it's here I gained my following in the fanbase and things went quite smoothly. however, upon beginning to write for mairon, then melkor and then later the ainur — I saw an increase in hate anons. something I have experienced before, natural of a multi fandom blog, but never to this degree. initially I assumed it was because I was simply growing larger as a blog, and perhaps that is the reason — but from what I noticed, I was battling with a bunch of chronically online people who simply could not handle my love for. . . "problematic characters"

I never understood it, really. I never saw other ainur blogs getting the hate I did - I guess I'll truly never know. had I done something? was my writing just not good enough? were my vibes off? over the time I've been called things like two faced, fake, a romanticiser of abuse, lazy for not filing out requests, been told I shouldn't write reader inserts, told to kms and other graphic incidents ( such as people sending death threats and actual gore to my inbox ). this branched from burner accounts to anons, and I could just never understand why me. a quick gander at the #clownon tag and you'll find some of the instances in which I've been harassed.

I genuinely thought my writing was the issue.

which demotivated me from writing for quite some time. could I have turned anon off? sure, but that would have meant that the anons I'd frequently interact with would most likely not come around anymore. it meant a decline in requests, it meant just a crippling factor to my blog in general, so I chose to ignore. but it got hard to eventually. I was bullied for liking a god with big wings just because for crying out loud.

I've tried to fake being okay. fake being strong and unwavering about the hate, but I just couldn't anymore. and that's okay.

it wasn't all tears and hardships though. I have made very good friends through the tolkien fandom, many of which I consider close. from @bluezenzennie to @kiatheinsomniac — @a-contemplation-upon-flowers , @cilil , @someoneinthestars and so so many more. it'd take me forever to tag and honestly my heart is squeezing so much listing these few down already. they made fandom fun, whether it was our silly little play fights or collabs or you name it. those of you that have spent time to tell me about your day on anon or send in the nicest of things. I haven't forgotten them, and I cherish them, but it's time for me to go

am I sad? fucking of course. a part of me found so much comfort here and in these characters. I've spent hours on end developing lore for aus or designing aesthetics for writing — just writing and pumping out content or blogs, everything and anything I could do. and while I don't regret those times - the way I've been treated in response hurts. which is why I've made this decision.

I'm growing as a person too. I'm writing a book now, I've got an oc blog to promote that book that I'm working hard on ( @valentine-cafe ) , things are looking good. does this mean I'm just gonna disappear? of course not. I plan on staying around, getting back into request writing ( for other fandoms ) and still interacting and supporting my tolkien moots and friends. will I be writing or creating content for tolkien? probably not. at least not in the foreseeable future. the characters I once loved and cherished have now been ruined for me. I've been made to feel embarrassed for loving manwe and namo to the degree that I have, and I don't see myself being able to write for ainur without thinking of all the shit I've gotten for doing so.

regardless, I'll be here still. and while I might not be your local valarfucker anymore, I hope to be your rose still 🩷 thank you so much for two and a half years, I love you all dearly

#˚◞❀˳ 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒂𝒓 '𝒏 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒆 ﹕ psa ꒱ ₊˚⊹ #actually cryinh my eyes out ahhh #tolkien

[deer-carcasses]

somewhat an analysis of Alastor

I've been going over this multiple times while it was just some rambles in my notes, but I finally decided it might as well see the light of day. if you do read this all, thank you. if not,,, understandable. it's a lot.

if this whole things is not coherent at all and does some weird jumps, I'm sorry. I took multiple breaks writing this over the span of the whole day. it was even more of a mess, I promise this is the slightly cleaned-up version.

especially the later parts get less cohesive in my eyes since I had to take longer breaks in between them. they also might jump around more. but now, in case you do want to read this; enjoy.

obvious spoilers ahead

let's start with the most interesting aspect for me: we barely know Alastor. sure, we know a little about his backstory, and get snippets of interactions here and there, but it wasn't until well into the show that we got to know his character better. ep.5 was where we see something deeper than the shallow persona he puts on for everyone. he's been more of a helping hand to make the plot progress in an interesting direction than a character with obvious deeper meaning. I don't mean to say that he was not well-written, quite the contrary, I mean to point out that he seemed more like a tool in the story than a character we are supposed to connect with on deeper levels.

we all as viewers had no idea why exactly he was there, to begin with, he said it was for his own entertainment but even then, this seemed like an awful lot of work for him to come out more or less empty-handed most of the time. it's an unfair deal for Alastor if you ask me. and honestly, he does bring little less than "entertainment" to the table until then. being used to show that he is helping yes, but mostly doing it so he can pull someone else down with his help. double-sided blade. he loses, but whoever he helps also doesn't win.

let's talk about ep.5 though. in this episode it's the first time someone truly irritates him. he didn't really care much for Vox - seemingly finding his entire obsession rather funny and never seeing him as a true threat. and Sir Pentious he didn't even truly remember. but with Lucifer that changes. Alastor doesn't just see him as bothersome, he sees him as important enough to go out of his way to prove he is better than the literal king of hell himself. at first, you could argue that he's once again doing it for his entertainment. seeing how much he can push before he needs to get back in line. but looking closer, his body language betrays him.

the way Alastor holds himself shows a true disdain for Lucifer that is, from a viewer's perspective, totally unjustified. Lucifer did not start their weird rival dynamic, it was Alastor who from the beginning on looked down on the king. maybe it's a personal reason, maybe it's just the fact that Alastor is more than well aware that no matter how much power he gets, there's no way to get above Lucifer. his omnipresence might simply be an annoyance to Alastor because he knows as well as Lucifer that the king hasn't shown his face in a long time and his reputation and power over all of the pride ring, over all of hell, still stays in place. no real threat could shake Lucifer's power into crumpling and this thought alone might bother Alastor because he had to fight for his power, to keep his power. (see Vox having presumably more power with the modern media and all that before Alastor disappeared)

and there's also of course the whole bantering going on in Hell's greatest Dad. Are Alastor's words genuine when he speaks to Charlie, or is it just a tactic to get under Lucifer's skin, maybe not seeing his powers crumble but seeing the king's nerves being reduced to nothing by his hands.

I personally don't think he was being entirely truthful. he might not have straight up lied about everything, but I don't think he truly wishes Charlie to be his daughter. Charlie herself is more than a little surprised by how Alastor suddenly treats her, and that alone is proof enough for me that he wasn't being honest in his words. if it were true, wouldn't he have at least a slight fatherly touch towards her all the time? Later on, Angel Dust even somewhat points out that Alastor has never acted like this by asking what his [Alastor's] deal is. It shows me that no matter how badly he tries to make it seem real for Lucifer, it's not real for anyone else simply because they all know how he normally acts around them.

continuing to Mimzy for a short moment; she is proven to not be a reliable narrator at all so I don't want to really take what she tells about Alastor all too seriously. she even concludes her little tale about the radio demon with "That's the story most people know." which does not make it any true. something I thought is very interesting is that the only two people who might have any idea of how truthful Mimzy is in her story are both gone. Niffty, though she also does not seem like the most reliable narrator, is not part of this conversation, and Hus kates himself out of the scene almost in the same moment Mimzy starts talking about. Husk leaving is more important since he obviously knows more about not only Alastor but also the deal Alastor is bound to. Husk and Alastor might equally hate it, but Husk does seem to care about Alastor at least a little. warning the overlord about Mimzy and how she is known for only showing up when she needs something, and I'm sure Alastor is more than aware that Mimzy wouldn't show up simply to catch up with old friends, but still. the sentiment of Husk seeking Alastor out to warn him, and even mentioning how he [Alastor] has been gone for a while now, is in itself caring, especially when moments later the viewers find out how much more Husk seems to know about Alastor. it even seems as if he is aware of limitations, mentioning how it's "Big talk for someone who's also on a leash." coming from Alastor's deal, even if Alastor himself is ignoring them [see the line "Who in their right mind would cross me?"]

the whole fact that Husk even seems to know so much about Alastor's deal is confusing in a way. I can't see Alastor willingly going to Husk and telling him about not only the deal he made with someone above himself but also about the limitations of said deal, it just doesn't make sense for the character we know Alastor to be, and even when finishing the show my opinion doesn't change. it's even more prominent how he later hides away.

after this scene, Alastor isn't seen catching back up to Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer to continue annoying him simply by his presence. his outburst having left him apparently on edge - showing that he isn't as calm and calculated as he likes to pretend. he obviously struggles with his own anger, be it at Husk for bringing up that he knows about Alastor's deal, or himself for ever getting into the situation in the first place.

later we see Alastor taking care of Mimzy's problem -the loan sharks. he's not seen using his powers like he did when Sir Pentious attacked though, he willingly transforms into something eldritch to devour the threat instead of simply using the tentacles, which would've been just as easy for Alastor. in my eyes that's him getting rid of the last restlessness about his outburst at Husk. choosing to do it himself, showing he still has free will over what he does and doesn't do. if not proving it to Husk then proving it to himself that he can choose to do this. he goes all out, he even comments on it himself how he needs to let off steam and later on how he's important here and willingly choosing to be here, helping ["It's time to remind everyone [Husk] why I'm here."] Alastor needs Husk to know what happens when you cross him, and when you doubt him. because he took the comments about how long he's been gone and that he's also on a leash personally. I don't even think it's necessarily because Husk said it, it's that someone in hell said it. not a soul in hell is allowed to think that Alastor, the radio demon, is not strong enough to win every fight he chooses to start.

let me come back to Mimzy once more, as if this one scene scratching the surface of what lies underneath his smile-bright persona revealed by Husk wasn't enough we get Alastor being all buddy-buddy with Mimzy, who is not only acting like a friend to him but is also introduced as such. a normal friend to someone who is so obviously not normal.

but even with his more friendly behavior towards her, he ends up sending her away after the hotel has to suffer under the problem she brought along. ["I can't have that here."] If he was genuine with what he said then, why did he phrase it like that? I might be reading too much into it, but Alastor normally picks his words wisely enough to not let too much slip, and the sentence "I don't want this here." would've been better fitting for the situation, but he says can't have that here. new question, what can't he have here? Mimzy herself? someone who knows him better than the residence with maybe a habit of blabbering? or was it just the fact that it's her problems that he needs to fix? that he can't have her bringing more work than there already is at the hotel?

now making a bit of a jump, going from ep.5 to ep.7 this episode makes me mostly wonder about what Alastor could ask from Charlie later on based on the deal the two of them made. in terms of character, it gave us little besides his dynamic with Rosie and the entirety of cannibal city. though this was also not really anything new, more just what we already knew about Alastor in a new dynamic

there is one scene I do want to talk about though. his whole little speech around smiling. him actually standing by and admitting that he is hiding behind his smile did take me a second to actually realize what just happened, I did skip back to it because I was a little stunned by the absurdity of it all. after some thought it made sense that he might not mind it, Charlie does not know him well enough for this off-hand comment to truly affect anything for him, still it made me wonder. why would he reveal it to her? was he simply so sure that she wouldn't use it against him or did he think she wouldn't even think of using anything against him in this kind of way?

so it confirms that yes; Alastor uses his smile as a facade and also as a way to show he is above others who cannot hide behind a smile like he can. his smile means indifference to himself, neutrality. for him showing anything but the indifference that his smile represents is vulnerability. weakness.

let's move on to the actual "highlight" episode of "What We Learn about Alastor" ep.8

this surely was not the first time he got humbled badly by someone in a fight. it's what he wants to avoid most, the mask slipping, everyone seeing that he can be defeated, that he is not this otherworldly powerful being that not a soul in hell [or heaven] can touch. there had to be at least one very significant moment where he was powerless in a way. where he had to strike up a deal with someone higher, the one now binding him, now having him on a leash.

Alastor went into the fight with Adam overly confident, underestimating Adam's powers to the point he barely got away. he is, after all this, still a mortal soul. a sinner. Adam on the other hand was the first man which gives him roughly the same power Lilith must have. that in itself makes me think Alastor lasted a good deal longer in the battle than I would've thought. pure angelic powers far surpassing his own and he still 1) got away in the end and 2) was able to get in a few hits.

let's quickly touch on the fact that when Adam broke his microphone he seemed to be completely stunned, apparently not having thought that he could easily break his possession without any real resistance. I personally don't think his power is necessarily in the microphone [the was the simply gave it away to Charlie in ep.7 being my proof for why it can't be. he would never abandon his power just for Charlie to sing a song for a few cannibals] but what if it maybe is some kind of amplifier for it? maybe it's also pure placebo and Alastor was simply too stunned that Adam would go for the piece of equipment instead of for a deadly blow right away. the microphone surely was a confidence boost, feeling of being 'on air' the feeling of having his broadcast behind him while doing his everyday tasks giving him the boost he sometimes needs, his ego being constantly stroked by the knowledge that there would be countless sinners bowing to him if he simply said the words into his microphone. no longer being able to do that made him stutter in more ways than one, being momentarily careless, not prepared for Adam to strike again, deadly this time. he lost where he was in his performance, in his own show, and it made him mess up.

one interesting sentence is when Adam comments on how Alastor is just a mortal soul. "You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate." which makes me want to believe that's exactly what Alastor did, taking charge of his own fate. but the thing is that we know he did not. he made a deal with someone, and he doesn't have the ability to take charge of anything about his own being anymore. he's as much on a leash as he has Husk on one. that would only mean that he isn't at his full potential, held back by the deal he so desperately wants to get out of, and is actively looking for a way to get out of it. which turns this line into something else completely. Alastor reveals that he knows what he is capable of, but cannot parade his power due to his deal.

another interesting detail is his ears before he dissolves into his shadow. they are pinned back, showing not only agitation or fear but disorientation. he opens his mouth for no sound to come out and it frightens him to have come into this situation at all.

a big part of his mental disintegration in this moment surely is also the fact that if he had died at this moment, if Adams's hit was slightly more fatal, he would've died bound to the deal still. Alastor would have gone without being able to fulfill his own goal - getting rid of the chain around his throat. getting control back over his own afterlife. if he had died at Adam's hands, he would have died being possessed by someone else which we can assume is what Alastor sees as the lowest he can fall. the people bound to him by a deal mean nothing to him as it seems, we only ever got to see those who were needed for the Hotel.

while also, dying in this moment would have proven to everyone that he stayed to protect the hotel, his friends, but retreating and not being killed in a heroic death-wish battle be had proven to especially the audience that Alastor is not ride or die for these people.

in his breakdown ballad, we can finally see where he went to to lick his wounds. his entire breakdown also shows once again how scared he truly is of being inadequate. this wasn't just a reminder from Husk that he is indeed also on a leash, being pulled to where whoever holding it wants him to go, this is a rendezvous with death, barely escaping the situation that would have proven that he is too weak, at least while being bound by this deal he is [no longer] profiting from.

the place not only reeks of death for him, like he says in his song, but it also reeks of shame at the fact that he had nearly not made it out alive. it would've been seen as a noble act had he truly died in this scene, he had not died protecting himself, he had died protecting others. it is worse than dying on a leash even since at least almost no one knows about that, it would allow him to save some face. but dying for these people? he cannot even stand the thought of it.

in his mind he needs to keep up the smiling facade, the indifference in this smile he holds obviously so dear, for eternity. him dying should not allow the indifference he stands for to evaporate, he needs to play the act even after being killed in his afterlife.

even if this now ends rather abruptly, my work here is done. see you next time I start writing and simply don't stop for a while.

it truly is "Good to be back on the Air." with a newly cleaned-up space to talk about fandoms

this might be edited later on, nothing major, maybe just to have some actual continuity in it.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #hellaverse #vivziepop #vivianne miedema #character analysis #i just like tlaking about the little fucked up red guy #i am not normal about this show in the slightest #someone restrain me #i could talk about them endlessly #hazbin hotel ep. 5 / 7 / 8 specifically #hazbin spoilers #alastor character analysis #hazbin hotel alastor character analysis #the radio demon

[cliowo]

In this essay, i will explain the reasons why sky children of the light has become an increasingly unwelcoming game to new players and veterans alike-

Yeah yeah i usually only share my words here but tumblr feels like a really comfy place for me to share unfiltered thoughts and i needed somewhere to vent ig (skip if you have no idea what I'm talking about)

When I first started playing in prophecy, sky was a really fun game. We didn't have the request for a guide function then and I'm actually really grateful for it because the joy was in exploring each of the different realms and season areas on my own and randomly stumbling across spirits whose stories were waiting for me to discover. Maybe it was because I was a dumb moth - i didn't even know how to access seasonal spirits trees - but the pressure to cr just wasn't as intense as it is for moths today. The back to back seasons and "days of" events seem to have sucked the fun of exploring the world of sky for moths because they're so focused on grinding for candles/hearts/event currency that they just dont slow to smell the in-game roses anymore. And the thing is I get it because there's just so many new cosmetics as well as older ones from past seasons and events to farm for.

I mean sure you don't have to collect every cosmetic but 1 cape costs like 70 candles on average, same for a pair of pants iirc, a prop/acessory at 40-70 candles (70 if its an instrument??) , and hair at around 40-50 candles; and the best part is you can only earn 20-21 candles max in 1 reset 🤡 Add all of that plus the need to look for event currency in fear of facing such prices in the event rerun and you get stressed out moths facing existential crises every 2 weeks when ts arrives😀 Sorry moths, the economy is bad irl and just as bad in sky.

And what of the veterans? Yeah, well, we get no friends as everyone starts to quit the game and those that stay live off copium revisiting the places we once visited with friends- Or maybe that's just me

New friends, you say? *cue flashback to moths begging for help with cr* we exchanged like maybe 5 sentences max at chat benches🥲 i have nothing against helping out but it does make it difficult to form a bond when they disappear right after and you fade into their constellation of ubers

And then we have the seasons.

... Honestly the only season that made an impression with me after aurora was the recently concluded season of the 9 coloured deer, which was also another collab season💀

I actually had to check the sky wiki for this:

Remembrance - ironically very forgettable. What was the story again? Was it the one with the group of spirits living in one specific hole in vault like why- vault is bigger than that sad hole- OH THE PLUSHIES okay maybe this one was passable... im trying okay

Passage - ??? Havent finished this season's quests so uh- so far it seems like... a cult..? In isle...?

Moments - if they wanted a camera in-game, they could have just added it to like the days of sunlight event (the camping one) or smtg. They did not have to force a season for a camera💀 imho the camera was the only thing worth mentioning abt this season and i don't even take pictures

Revival - i suppose aviary is pretty and it's nice that the spirits have somewhere to stay now. Not particularly impressed. Don't really remember the story in this one.

...i heard rumours of a furniture season after the 9 coloured deer. Looking forward to hearing what they'll name this one lmao

The quality of "days of" events is still acceptable to me. Just maybe ignore the numerous iaps and the fact that we have multiple umbrellas but only 1 is f2p (don't understand whats up w that btw)

And also the recurring bugs💀 I've been playing for at least 3 years and I've faced these bugs/problems multiple times:

1. Unable to light frends constellations because the screen just yeets itself into oblivion or some random environment feature where i cant press the button

2. Game crashes (after every update istg-)

3. Splitting servers

4. Sky discrimination and gate keeping, aka refusing to let me open the game

5. Being unable to collect currency/dailies (it's not my internet i checked)

The lack of compensation is another matter entirely

I don't know man I'm tired. The only reason why I still have it installed is because it's my only link to the people I used to have fun and relax with. Not everyone has discord or insta or some other social media.

If you made it this far thank you for coming to my ted talk. Feel free to leave your thoughts- just remember to be respectful

Tldr:

The sky economy is bad. For everyone. Moths (and maybe even vets) are stressed out and vets are losing friends. The seasons are increasingly dull and the long-lived bugs are frustrating.

#rant post #rant #sky #skycotl #sky children of the light #skyblr #might delete this later idk

[lilithsaga]

Selen Tatsuki and the Dangers of Corporate Mismanagement

Before the announcement, the community was divided into two groups.

One side consisted of Dragoons (Selen's fanbase) and other pro-Selen fans who just wanted to have any update on Selen's status regardless of what the outcome may be, campaigning #WhereIsSelen across Twitter/X.

The other side consisted of anti-NijiEN fans who would holler about Nijisanji EN and ANYCOLOR being a black company that treats their talents like shit and only cares about their own greed and reputation.

These two sides would argue about the speculation behind Selen's weeks of disappearance following the removal of the "Last Cup of Coffee" cover song by NijiEN management.

Then, on February 5th 2024, the dreaded white document was posted... and the internet exploded in rage.

Link to the full document here.

We could go through all the different warning signs and the timeline of events that led to this announcement, but I guarantee other people on the internet have that covered. If you decided to read this rant, I'm 90% sure it's because you've heard about Selen Tatsuki's controversial termination from other sources.

Instead, I want to reflect on Selen's situation in a corporate company and how that affected her mental health... citing some of my own personal experiences as well.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional or a professional of anything. I'm a random succubus on the internet with an opinion and experience, so take it however you wish. This is just reflection and personal speculation.

TW: mentions of harassment, depression, and thoughts of suicide. Reader discretion is advised.

My Background

I am a vtuber (or rather, PNGtuber), but not a corporate vtuber. However, I work for a corporate company in my IRL job in a 9-to-5 office setting. I started as an intern, came back to work with them after graduating university, got laid off after 6 months because of interest rates and over-hiring, and was brought back 2 months later in a different role to help them with demand.

Despite not working for a corporate vtuber company, I think it can be agreed upon that corporate is corporate no matter the industry, at least at the very core of their operations. Corporations are just large companies at the end of the day.

The reason I wanted to make this post is that, from one corporate worker to another, I 100% understand why Selen did what she did and feel that I am still facing a similar situation.

I may not have been a Dragoon, but I have always admired how she interacted with her community and created so many fun events for everyone to enjoy. Even though she wasn't my Oshi, I was deeply concerned about Selen's well-being.

And while I believed you couldn't trust Nijisanji EN any further than you could throw them, I was waiting to see how it would turn out. Because there was no way Selen, one of the Vtuber community's most beloved gamers and content creators, would stay missing in action forever. It wouldn't be long before Nijisanji EN would make their move.

Selen's Termination

Again, here's the link to the white document that set the internet ablaze.

I want to make one slightly controversial take here before we break it down... what Selen did is within grounds for termination.

Listen! Before the pitchforks are brought out, I'm not saying that Nijisanji EN should have fired Selen the way they did. There was sooo much they could have done to avoid this outcome that they clearly neglected to consider. But knowing how corporate jobs operate, or honestly, how any job or role operates, Selen clearly failed to follow Nijisanji protocol. She essentially went rogue.

We won't be analyzing the document word for word. Please read the full termination announcement by Nijisanji EN if you haven't already.

Instead, we're going to be analyzing key parts of the termination announcement by Nijisanji EN that I feel need further discussion.

Selen's Permissions

One thing I've noticed many people confused about is why Nijisanji EN removed the Last Cup of Coffee cover when there is evidence of Selen having permission long before posting it.

Selen "Last Cup of Coffee" After Party Stream clip, from FalseEyeD's video

LilyPichu's tweet confirming Selen had permission since August 2022

Artist who worked with Selen, Madi/@weeniedesu, shares how Selen paid her back personally when Nijisanji EN never got around to it

Selen got permissions from the creator and producer of the song. She got permissions from the artists that she commissioned. She took care of anything that could have been copyrighted, so why is Nijisanji saying she didn't check all the boxes for approval?

There's only one possibility. She never got approval from management.

Because if you work for a corporate company, you need to get approval from supervisors before ANYTHING goes out. Large companies have a reputation to keep, and if something goes out without supervisors getting a chance to review it... it could be bad shit. Maybe it's information that isn't supposed to be leaked; maybe it's an offensive joke; maybe it's as simple as a typo. The list goes on.

However, if their management is as awful as we think it is, I doubt Nijisanji EN even follows their own protocol.

The process of getting checks and approvals from other parties is always going to be longer than doing everything yourself. With good management, this is usually not a problem. But with bad management... this is a nightmare.

Personal Story Time!

When I came back from being laid off, I had new job requirements, a new role, and a new supervisor. As a person, I actually like my supervisor. She is very creative, knows what steps need to be taken for the company, and we have similar attitudes and humor. Unfortunately, this does not translate to how she manages a team.

My main issue with my manager is that she does not take the time or show interest in my work. She runs around like she's a chicken with her head cut off, will bury herself in her office and demand team members not interrupt her physically or virtually unless it's urgent, and will only speak to you if she needs something from you without really checking in on you.

Forgive me, for I am still young, but growing up, I was always under the impression that it was a supervisor's job to check in on their team and set them up for success. With this environment that I still find myself in, I'll be honest... I don't really feel supported at all.

I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around my supervisor and can only contact her whenever a 5-minute happy hour presents itself. I have work that needs to be done within a day, sometimes a week for bigger projects, but I struggle to get my supervisor's attention because my work is less crucial than that of some of my teammates. I often feel like the only way to get attention for the work I need to do is if I kick down the door and shove a printed copy in her face. Even so, that very rarely guarantees anything gets done in time that clients expect it to.

I understand that supervisors in high leadership positions don't always have a lot of time. Because of that, I was told that it was my responsibility to go to them when I have problems or stuff that needs done.

And yes, I should be more assertive about my work. Everyone should go to supervisors for situations that they need help with.

But if supervisors don't make that easy for you to do, what is the point?

Story time is over! Back to Selen!

Given my experience, I can understand how Selen feels. For a cover song of this scale, it must have taken months... maybe even a year—for it to be created in the first place. So the fact that Nijisanji EN management claims they first saw the video on December 24th is very concerning.

If this statement is true, then that means that they didn't do their job of checking in with Selen on the progress of this cover project. Or worse, Selen didn't trust them to work with her on releasing the cover song on time, so she took matters into her own hands.

Either way, it shows little to no support from Nijisanji EN management on an important project and reveals a damaged relationship between the two parties.

Honestly, I don't blame Selen. Yes, she did break company protocol, and it is a fire-able offense. But if her management was anything like mine, I would have done the same thing. Hell, I shouldn't be saying this, but I have done the same thing to a lesser degree. (It is rule-breaking, but not illegal. Best if I don't go into detail.)

But if Selen's management is as hard to get in contact with as my supervisor, how the hell does ANYTHING get done? Companies need to conduct business. But how can business be done if employees cannot progress due to management delays?

If they're not going to take the time to work with their employees to get proper permissions on time for upcoming projects ON TIME, I don't think they should be surprised at how things turned out.

Selen's Harassment

The worst part of this announcement is the blatant disregard for Selen's side and point of view on behalf of Nijisanji EN management.

"She claimed that she was no longer able to engage in her activities as a Liver due to the decisions made by ANYCOLOR, was being harassed by other affiliated Livers due to mismanagement, etc., while refusing to acknowledge her responsibility for violating the Activity Rules."

This sentence sticks out to so many people, especially the second part of it. But both parts are important because of Nijisanji EN's response.

We will get to that in a moment.

But let's focus on the claims Selen makes here:

"She claimed that she was no longer able to engage in her activities as a Liver due to the decisions made by ANYCOLOR."

This ties in to what we talked about earlier with the lack of support from management. Selen's claim expressed that she could not move forward with what she wanted to do because of the barriers to ANYCOLOR's decisions. Her feelings here make sense, given how it isn't the first time that her plans have been prevented by management.

More importantly, though, Selen also claims she

"was being harassed by other affiliated Livers due to mismanagement."

While many people want to know who these livers are—believe me, I'm curious as well—I want to know something else. If one of your talents is claiming there is harassment within your company, why aren't you investigating this?

Harassment is not something to be taken lightly or brushed off as an inconvenience. If your employee feels unsafe working at your company, I think it's worth taking a step back to try and understand where that employee is coming from, regardless of whether you think it's true or not.

So how do Nijisanji EN management and ANYCOLOR respond?

"ANYCOLOR believes that the claims raised by Selen Tatsuki are in fact referring to situations that arose when she was warned about her breaches of the Activity Rules and attempts to shift the responsibility for these violations, damaging ANYCOLOR and NIJISANJI EN's image. This led to the deterioration of the relationship between her, ANYCOLOR, and other Livers affiliated with ANYCOLOR. ANYCOLOR firmly believes that we and other Livers under our affiliation have not engaged in unjust practices towards Selen Tatsuki."

So instead of listening to her concerns, they brush off her claims as Selen crying wolf and blame her for making Nijisanji EN look bad.

HELLO???

I'm honestly not sure why I'm surprised by this blatant disregard for human emotion by a greedy corporate company. They clearly decided they didn't want to take the time to understand how badly Selen was hurting from their decisions.

And why would they? Especially when they clearly see her as bad trouble ruining their precious image.

However, they were aware that all of the stress from their company landed their employee in the hospital. So now, let's talk about the heaviest part of this story.

Selen's Attempt

TW: mentions of depression, and thoughts of su1cide. Please skip this portion (by finding the next smiling Selen screenshot) if you are not in a good mind to be reading about this!

Let's go back to Christmas... or rather, a few days after.

After the removal of "Last Cup of Coffee" from her channel, Selen stayed eerily silent. It was unusual for her to skip streams, especially collab streams, without notifying her followers. But given what just happened, it was very likely she was upset.

From her official Twitter/X account, only two tweets were created after Christmas. Whether she tweeted it or Nijisanji EN tweeted it, it only slightly matters to me. The fact of the matter is this: the events described in those tweets are true.

"I apologize for the silence. I've been in the hospital after an accident and will be staying there for a few days to be under supervision. I just got back access to my phone yesterday."

As soon as I read this tweet, my heart sank. Selen just had a negative incident at her company, where she had lost so much both financially and mentally. What part of "I've been in the hospital after an accident" makes anyone feel calm?

And the worst part... "an accident." Not a car accident, not a fist fight, just... an accident.

(In hindsight, the quasi-vague wording fits Nijisanji's modus operandi perfectly. It's specific enough to indicate something had happened, but not specific enough to indicate what that event was.)

But saying something is an accident... that's an easy cop-out for saying that someone attempted and survived... I think.

At least, it made the most sense to me at the time. Selen just lost $15,000 on a passion project that had a single unmovable barrier in it's way. Regardless of whether she is financially well-off or not, that's an enormous amount for anyone to lose in a day. If she had decided to attempt after something like that, I honestly wouldn't blame her in the slightest.

But the part of it that really had me suspicious that this was an attempt was that she was under supervision and "I just got back access to my phone yesterday."

This part is going to get a little personal here...

As someone with major depressive disorder, crippling anxiety, and suicidal ideations, I've found myself in inpatient care before. For those unaware, an inpatient is someone who stays in a hospital while under medical treatment. They receive lodging, food, and medicine to help them through whatever they are going through. It's the easiest way for someone to receive medication while also being watched closely to see if any changes to their health occur.

My reason for being inpatient is a bit personal. But at the very least, I was in an unstoppable depressive fit of constant crying where I couldn't even answer the simplest questions and didn't know what to do to stop crying.

As I was taken to the inpatient facility, saying goodbye to my mother, stripped of all my belongings (including clothes), and told I needed to sleep in a thin bed with nothing but a hospital gown on... the impact of my new reality away from the rest of the outside world terrified me and made me more depressed.

So, when Selen said she was under supervision and had her phone taken away... it instantly reminded me of what I experienced in the inpatient unit. I had my phone taken away, I had others think I was going to harm myself, I was allowed 1 hour of visitation at a specific hour every day where my emergency contact came to sit and talk with me, and the supervision was still very strict, with night guards poking a flashlight through your door to make sure you didn't do anything at night.

That's all I'm going to say about my experience.

Naturally, given what I had experienced, it didn't seem unreasonable to me that Selen's accident could have been a serious attempt on taking her life.

And who knows how long she had to fight to keep her sanity working as a corporate vtuber for Nijisanji EN? The job is stressful enough whether management is good or bad. But if the management is bad and stays bad for a long time with no improvements, patience can run out very quickly. One bad day can snowball into an avalanche.

For Selen, I imagined the pressure was becoming too much to handle. This heartfelt cover song could have been the breaking point that pushed her over the edge.

But, at that time, there was no proof.

So I stayed quiet, because people suggesting this narrative were getting flamed online for saying it. And honestly, with no confirmation at that point, it would probably inspire fear in a lot of Dragoons. It would cause them to assume the worst.

However, I said this at the beginning. The events described in her final tweets as Selen Tatsuki are true.

Confirmed by a little birdie.

"I will not be silenced anymore. On Dec, I was hospitalized for an attempt that was caused by a built up of bullying from within & being in a toxic & poor environment for numerous months that lead to my breaking point. I requested to leave first but on more neutral terms on 26th Jan."

This tweet is courtesy of Selen's previous life before joining Nijisanji EN, and is where she is now. Dokibird tweeted this not long after the announcement dropped, fully prepared with her statement.

It broke my heart knowing that what I had suspected was indeed true. For someone so talented to be going through so much turmoil, it would have been the biggest tragedy in vtubing history if we were to lose her in the worst way possible.

But, at the end of it all, I'm so glad to know she is alive, well, and will continue to move forward with more support than she ever expected.

It is the end of Selen Tatsuki's journey, but the beginning of Dokibird's next chapter.

Selen's Legacy

With the scarier stuff out of the way, I want to mention one last thing that irritated me about Selen's termination.

Nijisanji EN did not value Selen as much as they should have.

Yes, terminations are looked at a lot less positively than graduations. But to only do the bare minimum of acknowledging Selen's achievements with the company??

"Since becoming a part of NIJISANJI EN in July 2021, Selen Tatsuki has undeniably played a significant part in the growth of NIJISANJI EN. We fully understand that our decision to terminate the contract will have a significant impact on Selen Tatsuki's fans and supporters of NIJISANJI EN."

That's it. That's the only positive thing they had to say about her in the whole 3 page document.

She has hosted multiple tournaments, introduced the company to VR chat entertainment with AR Live events, commissioned lofi covers of all the Nijisanji EN Debut songs, connected bridges from other top vtuber agencies that seemed impossible, and is overall a fun entertainer with an infectious laugh and smile.

The fact that all she has done for the company is just summed up in 1-2 sentences is unforgivable.

And again, I understand that this is a termination, not a graduation. Terminations are for firing "problematic" people, not honoring their accomplishments. But only two sentences that vaguely acknowledge she made an impact as Nijisanji EN grew?

She deserves so much better than that.

While this does not cover everything that she has done for her community, especially as of recent, I recommend watching The Selen Tatsuki Experience, made for her 2021 birthday by devoted fans and clippers.

And here is a fan project for her birthday in 2022 showcasing the Top 15 Selen Tatsuki Streams.

While these are the videos that first come to my mind, there's so much Selen content out in the wild, even if her channel has been wiped by Nijisanji EN. So many memories, clips, fun experiences, and moments that will never be forgotten by her community and beyond.

If you have any you want to add to this, feel free to do so. I know the Dragoons can say so much more about her than I ever can, and I'm ashamed that I don't have more moments to add.

No matter where she goes or what she does, Selen will always have the support from every person she touched and inspired.

But it's time we thank Selen for all that she brought us and say goodbye.

Because now that this part of her life is over, it's time to move on to newer pastures and new beginnings. Because that is what Selen would want.

Or rather, it is what Dokibird wants.

Dokibird - YouTube Channel

dokibird - Twitch Channel

@dokibird - Twitter account

dokidoggu - Etsy

Final Thoughts

As I read back through everything I wrote, (which holy shit, it is a lot more than I expected; I think I really just needed to get this out of my system more than anything else), the more it makes me realize that Selen is not alone.

She never will be alone again. But I mean it a bit differently.

Selen is not the only one who has lived through corporate mismanagement. Far from it. Following her situation had made me realize just how similar my situation is to hers.

Following management that does not care about the employees enough to set them up for success. The depression that follows where you feel like you're gasping for air trying to make it through every day. Staying in bed late because waking up and going to a toxic work environment is too much.

This isn't a blanket statement of "all corporate companies are bad." That was never the point of this post. And, there are plenty of good corporations who will work with their employees and look out for their well-being. Even other corporate vtuber agencies do this!

However, I think it goes to show that corporate mismanagement can easily torture someone who feels trapped by decisions out of their control.

You can blame the employee all you want by saying "It's a corporate company! You should know that you have to follow the rules even if you disagree with them." But it isn't always that easy.

Sometimes, rules change. And once you are a part of a company, it isn't always easy to just quit and move on. Some people can't afford to do that.

I wish I had some kind of lesson I could leave behind related to all of this. Something like "Watch Out For These Warning Signs Of Mismanagement!"

But, I'm still working for a corporate company as my day job. I can't really leave until I find a new job or get fired.

So what can I tell you?

Selen's situation has motivated me to work harder to find a better work environment.

I've worked for this corporate company for a while now. It started as something I enjoyed because I was given more creativity and feedback on projects than previous positions. But it's not like that anymore.

No job is worth giving your life over.

And if Nijisanji EN management doesn't realize how messed up it can be working for them, and aren't willing to change for the good of their talents... they aren't worth a single cent.

Your happiness > Your job

If you managed to make it through all +3,000 words of ranting, I hope you find your own happiness. Thank you for taking the time to read all the way through.

I wish Dokibird nothing but the best as she kicks off this new chapter in her story.

As for Nijisanji EN, I hope they learned their lesson. If they keep their management the way it is, there will be more instances like this to the point where eventually no one will want to work with them anymore.

I have stayed up till 2am writing so I could say all I wanted to say. I should get at least 5 hours of rest before I have to wake up and go to my corporate IRL job. Hopefully, this year I'll be able to move on to a more promising environment in the not too distant future.

Thank you once again for reading, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day! 💜

#nijisanji en #nijien #nijisanji #anycolor #selen tatsuki #dokibird #vtuber #sink the yacht #corporate vtuber #corporate greed #workplace #industry #harrassment #depression #anxiety #pressure #tw su1cide #mismanagement #selen deserved better #Youtube

[emotionallyattachednerd]

His Princess Part 2 ❙ EP Swindle x f!human reader ❙ NSFW 18+

Word count: 3000+ 😲

Warnings: Smut ( tocuhing, fingering, oral and spike penatration all nearing the end ) possessive behaviour, some angst and size difference. NSFW 18+.

Notes: So this happened. Why the hell do I get carried away with these? I don't know how to write a short story lol. I would like to thank @strawverrysweet for their request, and hope you don't mind it being long. I turned it into a part 2 from the first one I did here. There's smut, there's angst, read on to find out how it ends. 😅

Tips☕

It's been days since you last saw Swindle. You both had your first fight, or argument, you weren't very sure what to call it, but it happened and now you are riddled with sadness and guilt.

On each visit he would get you gifts. First it starts small, to the point he got you an actual diamond necklace. That's how the fight started. You questioned and he bluntly admitted he stole it for his princess. You didn't like the fact he was stealing and he didn't understand why you were upset about it.

He left in annoyance, leaving you to drown in misery. You missed him and desperately wanted to see him.

It wasn't right though and he shouldn't have done that.

Back at your home you look out your window with the view of the thick trees surrounding the area. You were blessed to have a place outside the city and to settle in nature.

You just finished washing up when you hear the familiar transformation sound from outside. You hurry outside the door where you find Swindle.

You honestly had no idea what to say or if he wanted to speak first, but you did move forward and hug him around his giant leg. You missed the big dummy.

It seems he approves because he ends up letting out a soft cackle and picking you up under his servo, making you hug his digit next as he brings you up to his optic level.

"Hi princess." He smiles while bringing you closer. "Miss me?"

"Yeah." You admit through a defeated groan. "I was worried about you. I'm sorry we fought, it's just..." You go quiet as you think over your words.

Swindle seems quiet as well. His optics were shifted around, as if he was nervous, but you weren't quite sure what he was thinking. Before you could ask anything you felt his large digit move towards your neck where you are wearing the diamond necklace he stole for you.

"You're wearing it." He smiles broadly. "Looks so pretty on you."

As much as you don't like that he stole it, you love how it looks on you, and you've been wearing it since he left those days before.

"It does look pretty." You admit through another defeated huff through a smile. "Just...promise, no more stealing. I don't need luxury things, all I want is you." You admit warmly as you press a tender kiss against the padding of his digit.

He seems surprised to hear you say this, then conflicted, worried. Seriously, what is the big guy thinking? Maybe you are saying too much?

"Swindle? Listen, I get if this is too much, or weird for you. You're a giant robot and I'm a human, but we already live in a weird universe, right? Things happen for a reason. I need you. I've been a depressive mess while you were gone, made me realise just how much I want to be with you."

Your words seem to hit him differently, a feeling he's probably not really felt much in his long lifetime.

"Princess, I care about you too." Hearing his confession must've not been easy for him. "I want you to be safe. Which is why I need to go."

Go?

"Why?" You manage to ask through the lump forming in your throat and eyes glazing over.

"Because it's not safe. It won't be forever, I'll come back again, but I do need to disappear for a bit until things settle."

"Take me with you." You suddenly say to him, clinging onto his digit refusing to let go. "I can handle it. Swindle," you stare up at him, concerned filling your eyes, "is someone after you?"

The answer is in his face, you see it. Yes, someone is after him.

Suddenly, a bright blue rope shoots out and wraps tightly around Swindle's arm, yanking him back forcefully. You gasp at the sudden movement while he brings you closer against his chassis with his free servo to prevent you from falling.

You have no idea what's going on but you suddenly find your home surrounded by dark dressed people, large vehicles and weapons drawn towards Swindle, more electrified ropes being shot out at his legs to prevent him from escaping, than his other was yanked out, the one you sat in and held on to prevent yourself from being tossed onto the ground.

"NO!" You scream as you cling into Swindle's digits tightly. "STOP IT! Leave him alone!"

"Drop the girl!" You hear one of the men speak through a megaphone.

"I ain't dropping her stupid human!" Swindle shouts back as he tries to get free from the ropes. If he did drop you, it'll be a hard landing.

"Swindle." You hear another deep voice and look over Swindle's digit to see a bright blue and red robot approach. You knew then that they were still around after all those years ago, and this is Optimus Prime. "It's over. Surrender yourself and come quietly. Let the human go, please."

"Unless you want her to have a rough landing, I suggest one of you catch her." Swindle glares back. He was fighting it, the concern for you. He fears to show he cares about you and you know it's not meant to be in a hurtful way but to put you out of danger.

Some people slowly approach below with what looks like a safety blanket to catch you. Your reaction is dumb, but you can't help yourself as you remove one of your slippers and peg it at one of their heads, catching them off guard a little.

"Screw you and go to hell."

It's Swindle that moves his servo, forcing you to slip from him. You look up as you fall and see his faint smile, a smile of sympathy. He cares, you know this and he'll keep you out of danger as best he could.

Once you're caught you don't make it very easy for them as they end up putting you into a van with guards. You look out the tinted window at Swindle as he's being arrested, your heart breaking yet again as you're taken away.

They took you somewhere, a building, or bunker, you weren't quite sure, but you gave them the silent treatment. You refused to answer any of their questions or reveal anything about Swindle. They call themselve GHOST but you hardly care. You were forced to hear them speak, about any involvement with a decepticon and how she knew him, but you didn't crack.

A part of you wanted to scream at them and demand to see Swindle, but you also knew that wouldn't be very smart. If they are to find out anything going on between the two of you, you didn't know what they might do next and you didn't really want to find out either.

But you are worried for Swindle. What are they going to do to him? Where are they taking him? Were you ever going to see him again?

You're held there for a time, you couldn't be too sure how long but eventually you were allowed to go home. You have no doubt that you'll be watched but you don't care about that. 

Back at your home you try to distract yourself from recent events and it doesn't take long for you to cry into your pillow, letting out hitched sobs feeling more alone than ever before.

Your hand comes up to your necklace, fingers tracing over the diamonds before clutching them. It is all you have that reminds you of him, and you never wanted to forget him.

As the days turn into months, just when you thought things couldn't get worse they did. Something weird was happening in Witwicky, and everyone was forced to evacuate.

You honestly didn't know what was happening as everyone was forced to leave and take shelter, and you doubt anyone knew what was happening. But after a long night it was over? You were allowed to return back home then, but you knew something went down.

Whatever it was, you hope it is gone for good.

As you returned back to your home you were glad everything looked the same, but there was one of those GHOST vans parked out front, and a man standing near your front door.

"Can I help you? Not that I want to help you at all..." You say as you approach, arms crossed and without a care. He ignores what you say.

"It's good you got out when you could. My name is Agent-I mean, just call me John." You did sort of recognize him when Swindle was arrested, had a much more serious tone than, but now he sounds lost, defeated. "As you can see a lot happened but I'm not going into detail, I'm here for something else."

You narrow your eyes at the man, unsure what that means.

"Do you trust Swindle?" Now that was a question you weren't expecting.

"Yeah...I do." You answer, trying to sound convincing. "Why do you ask?"

There is a long pause before he exhales. "Alright! Fine...come on out."

From behind your home you see Swindle come out of hiding and your breath hitches. He's here!

Dropping your bag you run over and leap into his open servo as he kneels down, holding you close against him as you embrace the big bot.

"Hey princess." He says as you kiss the corner of his lips through your beaming smile.

"I missed you." You truly did miss your robot boyfriend.

It's John that clears his throat. "Alright, so, whatever you two have going on here it's none of my business. I will say though you'll both be watched, carefully, and Swindle you're not allowed to cause trouble or run off. You're to stay put!"

"Don't talk to me as if I'm a bad pet!" Swindle snaps at the man, but his attention is brought back to you when you caress his cheek plating.

"Stay with me, please." You wanted him to stay, forever.

Swindle looks at you, optics slowly softening before he finally nods with a sigh. "Alright, but only for you, not him." He sends a glare to John.

He keeps his promise and stays. Turns out the decepticons all helped save the world and were given a third chance to redeem themselves, and they finally accepted. Of course they were to work together with the autobots but you were just happy to have Swindle back in your life.

You even got to meet his brother who he spoke about. He knew about the two of you, and he seems fine with it. You think others know as well but none are going to question it, ever.

You did question Swindle if they hurt him while he was in prison. He didn't want to talk about it. Something happened, but you didn't want to push it out of him. If he wants to talk about it he will when he's ready you told yourself. But you knew that whatever happened, he got hurt. You didn't want him getting hurt ever again.

One night he had a surprise for you, one you've been wanting for a long time and he is finally going to give it to you, literally.

In your barn you lay naked on the bales of hay covered by a soft blanket for yourself. You only wear the diamond necklace, a gentle request by Swindle.

"Oh I've missed this." He purrs in delight as his digits gently run over your naked form.

In the position you laid you are in perfect level with him. You both want this to be as pleasant as possible without any struggles. As excited as you are, you are also nervous.

He seems to notice this. "You alright princess?" His digit is gently rubbing against your inner thigh as he leans closer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just been a while since we've had any fun." You answer through a heated sigh as he touches you in the right spots. He never forgets and always knows your sweet spots.

"If you want to wait-" You cut him off.

"No, please. I've waited. I want to try. I'll let you know if it becomes too much, but I want to try." You say fondly, running you hand over one of his servo against you.

He smiles and leans closer, sharing a kiss with you as you hold his face and kiss him back tenderly. You gasp into his lips when you feel his digit stretch your core, slowly pumping as you use your hand to rub at your clit to build up your arousal more.

You want to be so ready for him.

He adds a second digit making your back arch and mewl out and clench on on him, hearing him hiss as he did this to his digits gets him all heated and aroused himself.

"Oh sweet spark, I love your reactions. So lively!" You hear him say with a smug look on his face.

"Only for you!" You know he loves that, to praise him and let him know who you belong to.

"That's right, all mine. You're my beautiful princess."

He removes his digits from your core leaving you wet and empty, then you hear the familiar sound of his panel shifting and throbbing cable emerging.

Glancing down you see it. Standing tall and tarped tip leaking fluids, using his servos to spread your thighs wider and tugging you to the edge of the covered bales right at his level.

It is without a doubt you knew you won't be able to take all of him. He laid himself across your core and belly, the tip ending right between your breasts. Yeah, not all will fit, but some will.

Slowly he rubs himself against you, drawing out heated gasp from you as he lets out short grunts, fluids leaking out and coating against your skin. The sight of you makes Swindle moan in delight.

"Here we go." He says, as if to warn you while he grabs himself and moves himself lower, pressing against you.

You are so wet already so the tarp tip of his cable slid in with ease, but the more he pushed forward the bigger he got and the tighter you became.

You can't help the moans and gasps that leave your plump lips. Feeling yourself stretch so much was something you've never felt before, and it really gets your heart pumping.

Swindle isn't dumb and knows to be careful. He was surprised you managed to take the first bit of him, watching on as he sank inch by inch, a bulge forming at your belly before stopping himself. He isn't even half way, but this is all you can take of him.

"Fuck..." You whimper out as you squeeze your eyes closed, choked groans leaving you. You felt so full, letting out surprising gasps from the twitching coming from his cable buried deep in you.

"You doing alright?" He asks from above you as he stays still, violet optics illuminating across your naked quivering body.

"Y-yeah." You manage to answer, moving your hand down across the bulge that has formed making your breath hitch. "Holy shit...you fill me so much. I can feel everything!"

"You feel very snug, princess, it feels so good. I promise to be careful." Swindle assures you before you feel him slowly moving out from you, only to give a short and slow thrust back forward again, causing both him to grunt and you to moan loudly.

He was huge! Of course you already knew this, but now experiencing it is a whole new feeling. You feel every slow movement he gives, every ridge rubbing against your inner walls, and every push his tarp tip pressed up against your belly. The pain wasn't bad, if you want to call it that, but the pleasure is burning through every inch of you like wildfire, and you love every moment of it.

Swindle makes sure to keep himself steady and not lose control of himself. His instincts were telling him to bury himself fully but that isn't going to happen. He's enjoying himself very much, and is proud to see you are loving this as well.

Soft mewls left you with each movement he gives, thrusting himself into you gently as you grip into the blanket under you, feeling the rocking motion both from him and the bales you laid upon.

Moving your hand again to your clit you rub yourself in circular motions and your other lays across where you feel Swindle's cable pressing up against your belly over again, and bringing you closer to your orgasim.

"Oh princess, so fragging good." You hear Swindle say above you before you open your eyes, smiling through the blooming pleasure about to erupt through you.

His grip on you tightens as he lets out a long strained groan, movements becoming shorter and firmer as his cable throbs, surrounded by your clenching tight depths.

"Swindle...fuck...I'm about ot cum!" You warn, seeking that approval from him, but it seems he isn't far off either.

"Do it! Frag!" He curses out before his thrusts turn jerky and you feel a sudden burst of warmth filling you deeply.

You cum with arched hips and a loud cry, whimpering as you feel his fluids filling you so much that it expands against your belly and out around his cable inside you still.

You both remain like this for a time, heavy breaths and venting filling the barn, before eventually Swindle slowly removes himself. You feel his cable retreat, followed by his fluids that your body isn't able to hold onto and lay there in a tired and blissful mess.

Swindle leans down and touches your face tenderly through a proud smile. "You did so nicely, so proud of you."

"Thank you...you were amazing." You answer back fondly.

He shares a kiss with you. You never want to let him go again, and you think he felt the same way about you.

#transformers #earthspark #swindle #swindle x reader #reader insert #robot x human #angst #smut #fanfiction #writing #sugarrusheag

[kattythingz]

OH that's wonderful.

Honestly, Ling getting there first is not a bad thing if you consider that YJ was supposed to be a stealth based team at first (and at the end, and I'm pretty sure all around, except that they managed to blow something up every single time they left Mt Justice and yeah, they'll get along incredibly well with Ed)

I love how everyone knew Ed as 'The Fiance' but also how much of what they know is accurate? Because Ling could definitely just brag about his Love, who is Amazing and Sweet and Delicate but Strong and then they meet Ed and he's all those things!.. kind of. They've spent all that time imagining themselves someone to match Ling's sappynnes and now they have a short temperamental asshole who thinks Idiot is a term of endearment (it is)

OK now I started rambling, but I couldn't help it!! It's such a good AU I need more!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAH THANK YOU!! That means a lot to me 🥺 When I say I've daydreamed a lot of this au, I've daydreamed a lot. I'm glad you're enjoying it with me!! As a treat, here's a second scene that got out of my hands again. 2.7k, yeesh. I definitely should've been working on Solaris instead, lmaaoooo.

Part 1 here, for anyone new who's curious.

Robin had to admit, just to himself, that stealth wasn’t ideal for a facility like this. The walls were high and sturdy, composed of some kind of resilient metal that didn’t bend much, and the only space to safely follow undetected were the vents along the sides. Normally, he would’ve gone with the ceiling vents, but there were none here. They might’ve underestimated their resident bad guy’s paranoia last time.

He might’ve underestimated Ling too, as he’d chosen to travel by ground instead, and Robin hadn’t seen him again since. It should’ve been impossible in such an open space, but—it was like the guy had just disappeared. He would’ve been majorly jealous, if he wasn’t curious how that even worked in the first place.

The rest of the team were on standby in their own corners, waiting for Robin’s signal to intervene when needed. They’d initially protested the risk of a rescue mission, but Robin knew they all thrived on the same brand of chaos and rebellion; it was what had bonded them as a team. Obviously, they were on board.

He listened intently to the guards’ loud chattering as they walked their prisoner down an unfamiliar direction. The walls were getting darker here, and colder. The jails must’ve been close.

“—mean, it’d be a little funny if that actually happened,” guard one said with a no-doubt ugly grin. What was it with goons and ugly grins? “I’d kill for vacation time, at this point.”

“Talk a little louder, Jared.” Guard two rolled her eyes. “While you’re at it, why don’t you run back to the boss right now and tell him everything you just said?”

“Oh, come on, you’d pay to see it too.”

“I’m not putting my response to that on record.”

“Nah, you should just go ahead and say it.” It was Ed who spoke, and Robin’s eyebrows shot up, already leaning closer to hear the rest. 

He’d expected a lot of things from Ling’s infamous fiance, but a punch to the solar plexus wasn’t one of those things. He wasn’t anything like the team had envisioned. Needless to say, Robin was way curious about the guy.

“You’ve got a pretty shitty boss down there,” Ed continued, “and I’d know a thing or two about shitty bosses. I mean, no vacation time? Talk about a stick up his a—”

He stopped on a yelp—stumbling from a kick to his left leg.

“Watch it, brat,” guard two said. “The only reason you’re still here is because we need you alive to extract your meta gene from. If it weren’t for that—”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna fucking work, lady,” Ed snorted. “Like I keep telling you—”

He cut off again on a sharper, gritted noise, freezing with the visible shock from his inhibitor collar. Guard two smirked, putting away her remote.

“Your reaction to that says otherwise, boy,” she said.

“I’d think”—Ed heaved a clearly pained breath, still not moving. He was leaning most of his weight on his right leg now—“that anyone would react to being—”

He gritted his teeth again, shouldering another click and a shock.

“—fucking electrocuted,” he finished, biting out.

“You should’ve been paying attention before,” guard two scoffed as her friend pushed Ed to get moving again. He did so with an obvious limp now—to Robin, at least. He didn’t think the guards saw it. “That fancy collar doesn’t react to regular folks. If it’s not from a meta gene, then there’s something about you.”

“You mean a brain? I wasn’t gonna say it to your boss, but it’s pretty funny that your so-called head scientist can’t even grasp the basic concepts of, you know, a science. You sure he’s the right guy for the job, or did he just bang his head against the metal walls enough times before—”

Guard two let out a growl, and, oh, yeah, Robin knew what Ed was doing—and pretty damn well too. In the split second that guard two ditched her stance to strike Ed herself, Ed was already moving.

He ducked under her fist, letting gravity do its own work for a second before kicking the back of her legs.

She stumbled in true, and guard one went swinging too.

“You little shit—!”

Ed whirled around, prepared to dodge, but something else moved in tandem.

A shadow, emerged in a blink, striking the guard in the outstretched side.

Ed didn’t miss a beat and kicked out his right to get the guard’s other side. The guard twisted with his broken axis, and Ed got his hips with the knee. 

The guard yelped before toppling back.

“SON OF A—!”

Ed lifted his leg to deal the final blow, but his eyes widened that time when the shadow beat him to it again—kicking with much more force that sent the guard slamming into the metal wall.

Robin winced at the crack! that accompanied.

Well, he was never pissing off Ling again. Yeesh. 

“Holy shit!” Ed laughed when he registered too, though not fully. “You did not have to go that hard. Who—?”

“Ed.”

Ed froze at the breathy call, and there was Ling now. Crouching and just as affected—the eyes of a man to water in the middle of a desert.

Ed’s breath hitched. “Li—?”

Neither of them noticed guard two rising from her spot.

The jig was already up, so Robin didn’t wait to kick out the vent opening and fling a birdarang. Guard two cried out when it caught her in the cheek, disrupting her balance again as she stood. Ed whipped his head to Robin’s landing, mouth dropping in surprise a little when guard two was already down.

“What—?”

“Hey there!” Robin greeted cheerily, cutting him off. “Nice to meet, I’m Robin, can we get moving now? I think we’ve invited a party.”

True enough, pounding footsteps quaked the ground from a distance. Ling straightened up from his position before nodding, turning to Ed in a practiced motion and tugging him forward. Ed’s gaze darted back to Ling and he swallowed, drawing on nothing but air when Ling broke his shackles with terrifying strength.

“Ling,” Ed started again, stumbling, “what—where—?”

“There’s no time,” Ling interrupted hastily. “Do you trust me?”

Ed wavered at the final soft tone, stark eyes melting with uncanny resemblance to Ling’s when he stuttered, “What kind of question is that? Obviously—” 

“Then follow Robin.”

“What?”

Robin snapped to motion without further prompt and grabbed Ed’s wrist, pulling him along down the hall. “This way!”

“H-Hey, wait—! Ling—?!”

“He knows how to find us! Focus on yourself right now!”

Ed kept a good pace for someone spluttering, “I—I know that, asshole! How do you—?”

When he didn’t turn back in a blaze of fury for Ling, Robin released his wrist and focused on pulling up the building’s blueprints again. If they were tracking the right path, then their safest escape route for Ship to collect them was—

There! 

The halls opened for the VIP section of the building, flanked on both sides by large labs that they should’ve thought to explore before pulling this off. None of the scientists inside noticed them, but that was looking too good to be true any second no—

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Intruder alert. Intruder alert. 

“Fucking hell!” Ed grunted behind Robin, slapping his hands over his ears. “Could they make that any louder?”

The adrenaline was kicking in now, and Robin let out a laugh. “I know! Come on, this way next! There should be—”

“—a VIP exit. Obviously!”

“You know your stuff!” Robin grinned, slamming the final key on his key-glove to hack the cameras and motion sensors. Sparks lit his periphery vision as the cameras drooped, and he heard Ed’s impressed noise at the unanimous reaction.

“Seems you do too. How—?”

Robin tossed him a smirk over his shoulder. Golden eyes were glittering now, just as charged as Robin. “I’ll show you later, if we make it out.”

“Is that a challenge?” Ed shouted back.

Robin almost answered that—totally—but movement around the corner behind Ed caught his eye. 

A wind whipped past them at the same time, and Robin grinned as they received an eager, “I’ve got this!”

“What the—?!”

“Kid Flash!” Robin said. “Another guy you can trust.”

Wally sped to their stopped side not a blink after, shooting Ed an exhilarated grin and a salute. “Hey! Ed, right? Kid Flash, greatest speedster there is and the coolest guy on this ragtag te—”

“Shut up, man!” 

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Ed blurted, deadpan in a way that clocked Wally flat and had Robin cackling.

“Hey! What’s wrong with my uniform?”

Ed didn’t get to further crush Wally when the announcement changed tunes abovehead.

Initiating lockdown in East Wing. I repeat, initiating lockdown.

BOOM!

Where the hallway once forked ahead of them, a great wall abruptly slammed down. Robin was already pulling up his schematics again, looking for the key to hack security, but—

“Crap! Security runs on a separate firewall!”

“What does that mean?” Wally yelped, eyes darting to the other end of the hall where the rats where gathering again. “And why are there so many of these guys?! It’s just one prisoner! Isn’t this overkill?”

Robin didn’t risk breaking his focus with an answer. Down the hall, guards yelped and grunted indignantly.

“ED!”

Ling’s voice echoed in the metal space, and Ed jerked in his direction

“Ling! I’m right here!”

At the same time, Robin cursed. “Crap! I can’t hack this in time!”

“Well, that’s great!” Wally exclaimed shrilly. “And nobody else’s on this side of the wall either! What do we do now, boy genius?”

“If you can just buy me some time—!”

“Forget time!” Ed interjected suddenly, catching both their eyes. His own glare was set ahead on Ling’s figure dodging guards, cutting his way to them. Something passed over his expression, and he set his brow before whirling on Robin.

“You can hack shit, right? Get this thing off me.”

He pointed at his inhibitor collar, and Wally let out another noise.

“Dude! Greater priorities right now, like us being cornered any second—!”

“Got it!”

Robin recognized a “fuck shit up” look when he saw one. He made quick work of the collar, and the light on it clicked green before snapping open.

Wally’s face twisted further. “Hello?!”

They both totally ignored him as Ed cracked his freed neck with a hand. “Thanks. Now step back.”

“I’d listen to him if I were you!” Ling cheered as soon as he was in reach, smiling wider and realer at Ed than Robin thought anybody had ever seen of him this entire time, and already retreated behind Ed. “Ed doesn’t give warnings lightly.”

Robin didn’t need to be told twice, unlike Wally.

He yanked his best friend back into their little corner, leaving Ed to stand in front of them, a stark silhouette in the low light of the hall against the mass of guards that stopped to blockade the other end of the hall.

“We have you surrounded, boy,” the head guard called with their weapon pointed. “There’s nothing for you to melt safely here, unless you want to cook your friends with the rest of us.”

Ling’s chuckle sounded before Ed’s—though the latter rang louder.

“Yeah, about that,” Ed snorted.

He clapped his hands together, and electricity hummed in the atmosphere, like every time Wally had tried and failed to speed through walls. Several guards tensed at the feel and Ling particularly grinned with more teeth beside Robin.

“Melting isn’t the only thing I can do.”

The head guard straightened, holding their weapon higher. “Boy, I’m giving you a chance here—”

“That’s funny,” Ed said. “So am I.”

He slammed his palms to the ground, and, all at once, the walls convulsed around them. Electricity zapped down the metal seams, quaking the ground with a mighty, unseen shifting in the cogs.

There was a split-second pause, as Wally whispered, “What the hell was that supposed to—?”

The walls exploded.

One by one, like endless dominoes left and right and up and down, metal branched from every which way to SLAM between Ed and the guards, shaking the ground with tremor after tremor, until, in a manner of seconds—

The entire distance had disappeared. 

Where a great hall once sat between them and the enemy, now stood a wall no more than a few feet from Ed’s nose.

Wally and Robin both gawked that time.

“God, that felt good,” Ed announced, wiping his hands from a job well done. “Fucking idiots. As if all I could do was melt shit.”

He turned to the stunned group of them, absurdly nonchalant for a guy who’d just molded the walls like playdough, and Robin seriously couldn’t help it.

“Holy shit,” he said, and Ed cracked a grin.

“Watch your fucking language,” he replied. “Not so bad yourself, kid.”

Robin was going to answer that, but a certain blur zooming past beat him to it.

It wasn’t Wally.

Ed yelped when he was abruptly lifted in a hug—a noise that ended in a squeak when he went spinning too. His face erupted in red as he slapped Ling’s shoulder, stuttering, “Hey! Your friends are right there, you idiot prince—!”

“You’re calling me that name again.” Ling’s voice came out muffled into Ed’s chest, and he halted his wriggling to look down wide-eyed at Ling. “You’re—you’re really saying it, and you’re yelling at me again—you’re really here. Ed, Ed, yáng’er—”

“Ling—” Ed started a little faintly himself now.

“Ed,” Ling choked out, so much and so suddenly like a prayer, Robin tore his gaze from the sight when Ed’s breath hitched too. Wally did the same in his periphery, and they both heard rather than saw the click of Ed’s boots touching the ground softly again.

“Ling…” Ed’s murmur, however low, reached them anyway. “Hey, don’t—”

“Don’t ask me not to make any faces now,” Ling said thickly over him. “You were an entire world away. An entire world—wěidà lóng, I couldn’t—”

“Babe.”

Robin shifted at the soft tone, really feeling like he was intruding now. There was a brush of skin on skin, and a soft tap.

“I know,” Ed whispered. “I—I missed you too, fuck. You have no idea how… when I heard from Lan Fan that you were missing—” A shuddering inhale, and an exhale. “What were you thinking, you idiot?”

Ling’s laugh sounded like a frozen breath in the air.

“I might not have been thinking at all,” he murmured, “if I’m being honest.”

“Of course not.” Ed mirrored the laugh. “That was a rhetorical question, dumbass.”

“Hey…”

The protest was absolutely nothing, and it hung the moment for a long, awkward beat on Robin’s part.

He was just about ready to burst when activity blessedly thumped behind the safe wall.

Ed and Ling looked up from their tangled position—oh, god, they had been touching foreheads, gross—Ed going a little wide-eyed when the gate was forced open, by none other than—

“Miss Martian!” Robin cheered fast with his relief. “Boy, am I so glad to see you!”

Superboy raised an eyebrow from the ground level along with Artemis, and Kaldur totally wanted to do the same but refrained. He had that Look on his face that spelled it out.

“We heard you required back-up,” Kaldur said, as close to smug as his politeness got, and Robin rolled his eyes good-naturedly. 

“As if,” he scoffed. “We had it totally handled.”

“Well,” Ed’s chuckle drew the team’s attention back to him, where he’d finally detangled himself from Ling, though they still had one hand on each other. “More like I had it handled. But you guys helped, I guess.”

“‘I guess’?” Wally squawked. “Dude, who took out half those goons earlier?”

“Definitely not you, kid idiot,” Artemis said with a smirk.

Ling hummed, “I must agree there. And, on that friendly note—” He glanced aside fondly. “Ed, these are—”

“Your friends?” Ed drawled, and Ling flushed—actually flushed! Robin didn’t think that guy had ever blushed around them before, that was priceless. “Yeah, no shit, babe.”

Artemis chortled at that, and even Kaldur and Megan were looking amused now at this new side of Ling. Ed caught all their fondness in a single sweep, and grinned.

“Yo. I’m Edward Elric.” He stole his own warm peek of Ling, and smiled. “My friends call me Ed, though.”

#blah blah i'm a clown wbk #i'm resigned at this point. hhhhh #fullmetal alchemist #fma #young justice #edling #edward elric #ling yao #dick grayson #wally west #fanfiction #yj x fma #crossover #katmail

[thelunarfairy]

Genuinely no jshk ch has ever made me this puzzled that the new 27 After school hanako kun made me!?!

That was so creepy wth

What do you think that was all about??

Hanako definitely knows something we don't about that "other" world

I think it's like the Picture perfect arc ?? You get what I'm saying??

Is this the continuation or spin off of Pilot??

But honestly I would love to see that AU where all the supernaturals like mei , sumire , mitsuba etc etc are all in school

Like this chapter

And why the hell nene didn't realise all the normal kids and supernaturals were here together until the last panel?? That would be like the first thing to notic damm 😭

Yes, i agree with you! This one made me create several crazy theories in my head XD

It felt like Aidairo was telling us a secret

"Pay attention, the secret is between the lines…"

Now, I didn't focus on it too deeply because it's a spinoff, but it's still directly related to the pilot. Nene coming back to consciousness in the classroom doesn't seem like she was woken up from a dream, you usually wake up in the sleeping position, she was already sitting up as if she had been suddenly pulled from there.

It happened to Kou in the red house.

That seemed to be a doppelganger, as Mitsuba mentioned

Hanako pulled her just as Nene was going to look at the other Yashiro on the other side of the door, then she would disappear, in fact, Nene returned to reality, while the doppelganger stayed there.

Supposedly, if the real Nene looked she would die and the doppelganger would take her place.

All of this is intriguing, especially the "new student" part reminded me of that mysterious hand.

This all seems to show us that there are several timelines in JSHK, in one of these lines (multiverse) everyone was friends and the supernaturals were ordinary students, Nene was the one who was out of place, she was the "new student", as if she had left the her timeline and gone to another one she doesn't know.

You know, JSHK likes to play with time, and playing with time is including temporal paradox, timelines, multiverse, butterfly effect. It appears that JSHK included the multiverse in the paradox. There are stories in which there is only one timeline, if you change the past, the future changes, and there are other stories in which if you go back in time and change something, the future remains the same because a new timeline was created, and the timeline in which the character lives has not changed.

Did you understand?

Nene has this ability to float through the flow of time, we saw it happen several times and none of it was intentional, it just happened….

Maybe Aidairo is trying to say that the one who is the cause of all the chaos, destruction, death of the twins, etc., is Nene, for some reason I keep thinking about that too.

You know, it would be surprising if the culprit of everything was Nene, there is another version of her out there causing chaos and she doesn't know hahaha but I don't know if I should delve deeper into this XD

I think about it all the time but I don't have enough evidence to talk about it, but sometimes I think that Nene is to blame for all this, that she is a special type who somehow controls some events. I've thought about the possibility that somehow she could also be used by the creature under the house or that…… there is a Nene from another timeline…. I'm rambling too much….

Ahem, can there be a creature that takes the form of other people?

Is there another Yashiro who is causing chaos in the timeline?

There are so many possibilities…. 😵‍💫

Maybe they are trapped in the red house and live under the illusion that they managed to get out of there and live a normal life.

OK I stop.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #amane yugi #jshk #tbhk #hanako kun #yugi twins #aidairo #hanakokun #jshk spoilers #jshk theories #jshk amane #jshk hanako #yashiro nene #tbhk manga #ashk #jshk yashiro #nene yashiro

[butchsophiewalten]

Man this is so random but this theory is stuck in my head and I wanna see how other people feel about it because I don't see people talk about it a lot (I have no clue if the link will go through properly since I've never put a link in a ask box)

https://www.tumblr.com/art-w0rm/667910993425350656/theory-time

Oh god not this theory again. I really truly try not to be mean to people for no good reason on this blog, but this theory is literally one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't talk about this theory because to me it's like the walten files theory equivalent of that tubby custard mechanically separated chicken post.

Most of the time I genuinely don't even consider it worthy of my time, because it's nonsense, but this is a very nicely worded ask, and I really don't mean to dedicate any of the vitriol I hold towards this theory to You, poor anonymous person, so I will deconstruct it. I will go through the theory point-by-point and deconstruct why I disagree with it.

First up, this:

Showbear is not a character in The Walten Files anymore. Showbear was fully retconned and is never going to appear in the series again. He was effectively just a cameo of ThunderingStatic's (one of Martin's friends) OC, but when The Walten Files blew up and people started assuming Showbear was Martin's character, Static decided to withdraw his character from the series and focus putting him in other projects.

Martin talked about this on Twitter forever ago, but I wouldn't be able to find that tweet now. But here's a bit from the interview he did with KnowYourMeme back in 2021 where he talks about it:

Now this:

This is just stupid to me? Like a complete logical incongruity? I barely even know how describe what is dumb about this because I can't even fathom how anyone draws this conclusion from this information. How is it strange for a man to say 'if my wife isn't home by the time she said she was going to be, let me know, in case something happened.'????? Why would Rosemary be out cheating on her husband with her fucking daughter with her??? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would her whole life collapse when he went missing? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would she show up at the restaurant every day after he disappeared asking if anyone had seen him and hoping to find him alive??? Why would she make paintings of herself and him together after he disappeared????? What the fuck are you talking about?

Ok now this:

Whatever. This is maybe the most coherent part of the theory, to me. I definitely agree that Sha evokes a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' sort of aesthetic, but I do remember Martin saying something in a Twitter Q&A at one point about how that wasn't actually intentional, and that Bon was the character he actually meant to seem unusually predatory. I looked for a while and couldn't find a screenshot of that, but I did find this one where he says the thing about Bon:

So whatever. take that with a grain of salt.

I don't even know what to say. here. Whatever. sure she was rolling in the hay

yeah Rosemary is asking if she's still beautiful because she cheated on her husband and not because she was chopped up and stuffed inside a big animatronic sheep. I think this is correct and is the True Deep Lore.of the walten files. I'm sure this doesn't have anything to do with the recurring motif of the double-meaning behind the word Beautiful either.

I don't know why it's weird that the lost lingering spirit of a mother would be calling out to her only living child. I Don't know why that needs additional explanation involving this batshit infidelity conspiracy theory.

Sha's chest is also ripped out

So is Banny's, honestly? Just a little less?

ok now this:

I guess I can't disprove this except that I think this is dumb. I think this is a really incredibly stupid logical leap to make. Y'know I really meant to go into this levelheadedly and very calmly go through every point and talk about why I think it's Decisively Disagreeable or whatever but I can't. I really can't. I just cannot keep my patience with this sort of thing.

You'd think if there was an infidelity aspect here it would've been lampshaded in some respect, at all, in the old /sophiewalten findjackwalten page text. Where it's literally Sophie talking to Jenny about what she remembers about her family.

Especially if the idea is that Sophie is meant to have been there. You'd think something like that would have come up here. Not 'she was nice and a good mom until my dad disappeared and her mental health started getting worse'

#ask #this theory always feels like someone's pulling a prank on me. like they're trying to see how much stupid bullshit they can say convincingl #before i notice and get mad #i'm sorry i couldn't keep it together for you anon I really dont mean to make anyone feel like an idiot #i just really don't have the patience for something like this today I think. #we haven't seen a lot of rosemary's characterization in the walten files yet #but everything we HAVE seen externally characterizes her as loving and compassionate but also sharply protective of the people she loves #and also so very deeply incredibly in love with her husband #and there's actually a decent bit of positioning her and jack as equals in their relationship which isn't exactly usual for the time #yknow. she has her own car and she has a job (even if its working for her husband's company.) #she's headstrong and ferociously talented and her husband is very supportive of her and of her artistic endeavors #yknow. the tragedy of jack and rose isn't that their relationship was bad #it's that their relationship was great and it was cut short over factors outside of their control #and now it lingers through the hallways of abandoned buildings as a broken facsimile of itself #there was a wonderful family full of people who loved each other intensely and had their whole lives still ahead of them #and it took one summer for all of it to be gone

[lee-hakhyun]

as promised!

kdj sits in the lobby of a hotel casino, waiting while christina provides refreshments and assures him that anna will come soon. honestly, lhh had expected kdj to make a scene. this is how dkos operates. and as sponsorships rain down, he knows that this world rewards scenes like these. but... when martinez had asked for a name, and kdj said 'cheon inho', martinez's reaction was odd. his expression changed, and he left shortly after. which is weird. there's no way his name would have spread to las vegas? there's plently of more famous koreans than cheon inho.

people begin bringing in the 4th grade dragon's parts, and eventually selena kim starts talking with kdj. it's still a little messy, and selena mentions that she only recently moved from the washington dome. when kdj asks about the situation in the washington dome, selena's expression is dark. did something happen..? lhh asks kdj if the las vegas dome is usually open. more domes are opened or extra incarnations are summoned in based on population, so the dome itself isn't a problem, but the restriction on movement between countries was lifted, which isn't normal.

originally, the domes are only released after the 10th scenario, but something about the united states' 7th scenario was so hard that the bureau judged that the american incarnations alone couldn't beat it, and mercenaries from other countries had to be brought in... apparently, yjh and his party are in the washington dome.

after kdj asks about yjh's whereabouts, selena is curious and asks if he's close with yjh. his response?

"we were companions separated by life and death."

(the original tl of this line isn't the best, it's more like "we are companions have been through life and death separately", but the big thing is the change from present to past tense. kim dokja...)

selena takes kdj on a tour of the hotel. i've talked about it already here

now, about those plants. looking at the yanaspleta being grown there, the soil it's growing on isn't from earth. it's soil from the 5th scenario, when other worlds invaded the earth. which is odd... the soil should have disappeared after the 5th scenario was cleared. so why is that dirt still there? kdj looks at the 4th grade monster's organs, and starts talking.

it's weird. this '4th grade earth dragon' isn't cost effective to buy. the material is hard to process, and its sharpness is inferior. it's much better to buy the bones of a '5th grade fire dragon', even if it's technically lesser. but anna would have known that. so, knowingly buying this, there should have been a reason. kim dokja picks up some powder that fell during the processing the of the monster parts. and sprinkles it on the otherworldly soil, as it purifies. everyone in the hall stops then, and some incarnations reach for their weapons.

kdj's eyes are cold. he still considers selena kim a good person, and tells her so. if she answers his questions, nothing will happen here. anna's not here, is she? selena confirms it, and apologizes. where's anna right now? and... did they really clear the 5th scenario normally?

right then, there's noise from the hotel's entrance. constellations from asgard enter the channel. a portal opens, and as they move to the portal, anna croft arrives, her left arm bleeding. as selena prepares a tourniquet, anna asks if selena bought the dragon parts. selena affirms, but anna shakes her head. and says it's too late. that the operation was a failure. lee hakhyun organizes everything in his head. the 4th grade species with its purification properties, the washington dome, the scenario, and... his companions. why did anna croft return alone? it couldn't be..?

and lee hakhyun wasn't the only one to piece it together.

"Anna Croft." Anna Croft's expression hardened the moment she heard that voice. Her neck stiff, she slowly turned this way. "You... how are you here?" "Where is Yoo Joonghyuk right now?" So far, the 'Demon King of Salvation' that I knew felt more like a jobless neighborhood hyung than a constellation. A hyung who doesn't like boring things and never takes anything seriously, who's busy teasing someone whenever he has time. Right now, that hyung, "I'm asking. What happened to Yoo Joonghyuk." was genuinely angry.

#side story lb #orv spoilers #side story spoilers #orv side story

[angelosearch]

here is a weird little ramble about how weird and obsessive I am about this damn videogame.

You know that quote from Laguna at the beginning of disk 2 where he is like, "Oh, please let it be this room when I wake up! Please let me be in this puny bed when I wake up!"*?

I get that feeling sometimes. When you finally feel safe and happy and loved, it's hard to believe it will stay. Sometimes it's hard to believe I even deserve for it to stay. So I start and end each day with the fear of it all disappearing, and it's hard to hang on to gratefulness when you're doing that.

Right now I have so much joy and fun and creativity in my life. I spent so many years in a deep depression that I forgot I could be excited like this. I didn't know I could still feel so strongly about things. And while I spent a lot of 2023 seeing all of my mental health treatments/work paying off, I didn't feel truly whole until I rediscovered Final Fantasy VIII in July.

And my "puny bed" is just that - being engaged with Final Fantasy VIII. I get scared that one day I will be uninterested. But I never want to be unobsessed again.

I have loved Final Fantasy VIII at least since I was about 11, but I think I loved it since the first time I watched my brothers play the demo. It has been an important part of my life - playing the game influenced all my interests going forward; making fanfiction taught me how to write; going on forums to discuss the game helped me learn how to socialize online; and honestly I could go on.

But I've gone through cycles. I was very obsessed from 11 to 13, then someone made me a cake with the Griever necklace on it for my 16th birthday (WHICH WAS SO COOL) and all I could feel was embarrassment. My interest had gone completely dormant. It reemerged at 19 with the help of my Final Fantasy XIII roommate in college and went on long enough for us to go to see a Distant Worlds concert together, but faded again when she left for Amsterdam.

The first five years of my young professional life I am not sure I had any interests at all, being so busy and detached from myself, so Final Fantasy VIII was nowhere in my vocabularly. Which meant my wedding had not a drop of FFVIII in it. Even though my husband suggested it. Even though we learned how to dance for it, and could have done the waltz for the moon.

Strangely enough, about two days before the remaster dropped, I was inspired to look up FFVIII for some unknown reason. It was as if I felt the new opportunity to play in the force and when I found out a remaster was coming out, I absolutely had to play it.

And I did. And I enjoyed it. But that was when I started to fall down a dark spiral. The love was very quickly strangled.

When I was at my very worst, I kid you not, I could not even bring myself to think of FFVIII. I very clearly remember one December night in 2020 I spent manic in a psych ward, scared and uncomfortable and unable to fall asleep. I tried to focus on fanfiction ideas so I could maybe be relaxed enough to doze, instead of spending hours in the darkness wondering if my meds would ever work, if my heart was going to explode, if I would ever be "normal" again, while people opened my door at random intervals to shine a flashlight on my face. I tried to conjure Squall's face, or quotes from the game, and it all collapsed into nothingness.

And that was how it was. From then until mid-2023, FFVIII was shut away from me by the tomb of my own illness.

Then, I think it was March or April, my therapist and I were talking about ways to tackle my insomnia that didn't involve additional medication. It came up that I used to make "fake bedtime scenarios" about characters in this videogame I liked and that would not only help me fall asleep, but make me excited to go to bed.

"Why don't you play the game again?" She asked. I know I said "I can't" but I don't remember why. But it was enough to plant a seed (SeeD?).

As the spring continued, I started listening to the music from Final Fantasy VIII. Then I started going on the Reddit. I found this "State of the Arc" podcast that reviewed FFVIII. I listened to it on a roadtrip and, while I enjoyed it, I also found myself yelling at the dashboard because I disagreed with the hosts about something.

When I reached my destination, I found I could not fall asleep. I turned over a lot of things in my brain. I thought about Squall being a high-functioning depressed person with a lot of repressed feelings, like I once was. And how as your brain develops and you have issues like that, especially with CPTSD, it sometimes doesn't matter if your life is good now - the pain demands to be felt and the body remembers what you thought you forgot. And then I wondered, what if he was happy and with Rinoa after FFVIII but had a massive mental breakdown in his late 20s? And so, for the first time in three years, I could think about Final Fantasy VIII to fall asleep again.

After that, I was hooked again, and in a big way. I played the game again and found Reddit wasn't enough anymore. I may be even more obsessed with the game now than I ever was. So I joined Tumblr, and I guess you guys know the rest.

Since bringing this amazing videogame back into my life, I've been happier, more easy-going, and just... able to sit with myself. It makes me want to write, and draw, and sing, and play card games. I find that when my anxiety gets the best of me, I can shift to thinking about Final Fantasy VIII as a way of thought-stopping. And then I've met some amazing people on here that are so interesting and talented and supportive. I literally look forward to coming on Tumblr.

Today I was out and about a lot because I am with my in-laws and I am sort of on vacation. Because of that, I wasn't on Tumblr all day, and, more significantly, I didn't think/talk about Final Fantasy VIII. I mean, it wasn't completely absent from my day as I wore my "Compression of Time" tanktop and Squaket... but irrationally I feared I was somehow "not doing enough FFVIII" today.

And that is silly, of course. And I think in the big picture I am most afraid of being that disconnected and lost again. I could probably find joy in another fandom... maybe.

I just want to keep waking up here, in this cozy place that makes me feel connected and at home.

*btw in google this quote I found out Laguna is a brand of bed frame???

#Essay #personal essay #final fantasy viii #Little mental illness things

[weaselle]

i swear to all gods, almost every time two nationalities are at war, MOST of BOTH populations would rather not be

I haven't really reblogged or posted anything about the Israel / Palestine situation on here, because that's not what i wanted this part of my social media to be about.

But i suppose i do want people to know where i stand if they want to know that about this blog, so I'll make this post.

There's a history of back and forth which can seem overwhelming to try to untangle, but luckily you don't have to know about any of that to understand my take.

I'm not for or against Israel, I'm not for or against Palestine, I'm for the public of both, and i think the public of both groups is on one side, and the leadership of both groups is on the other side against them.

For example, in this specific instance before this latest flare up there were huge protests in Israel against Netanyahu for being, basically, a war mongering dangerous power hungry asshole, and also huge protests in Palestine against Hamas and his party for essentially the same reason. It is essentially two armed political parties that keep using each other to stay politically relevant and grab power. Both leaders break promises to their people and actively sabotage all attempts at making peace. And the people there know it.

That's why you get scenes like the returned Israeli prisoners yelling angrily at their government, or the Israeli hospital staff who chased visiting government officials out of the hospital clapping their hands at them like they were misbehaving dogs and yelling things like "are you proud? Is this what you wanted? This is your fault!"

Most of the people of both sides do not want any of what's been happening, and the people are also upset at their own leaders about it. But the US is far from the only country that has gerrymandering and voter suppression and propaganda and the occasional disappearance of a problematic journalist or some shit, so those leaders keep getting their hands back on the wheel.

I've traveled in several countries, i've met people from from literally all over the world, I've lived in a couple of large diverse cities. I've lived with someone from Russia and someone from the Ukraine both at the same time... and they were just like everybody else we were living with. They didn't care about any bad blood in their national histories, they cared about "are we all going to have our share of the power bill this month", and "whose beer is this in the fridge and can i have some".

We're all just people, and most of us would rather we all find a way to co-exist peacefully -- cooperatively where possible, respectfully where not. In my experience, that's the baseline for 80% of everyone on the planet. As far as i can tell most of everyone is defaulted at: a vague goodwill toward others, and too busy putting out fires in their own lives to want to go looking for matches in someone else's.

I know that sometimes that hardly seems true, but minding your own business is an invisible activity. What you see are the outliers.

also, crucially, high stress brings people off that baseline, which is why political stunting so often encourages panic.

So you can't pick a side like Netanyahu or Hamas because either of those sides you pick, you pick the wrong side. It has to be that it's both of them on one side, and the general population on the other.

Anyway i strongly believe (with some good evidence available) that most of the people of Israel and most of the people of Palestine have long wanted there to be some kind of peaceful resolution worked out, and that each public largely objects to what the leadership of both sides has been doing for years and years. I honestly believe most of the people on both sides of this conflict have more in common with each other than with their leadership.

Hamas militants have done awful things. And, clearly, what the Israeli military has been doing lately is despicable and unconscionable and wrong on such an extreme level that i shouldn't even have to explicitly say so, but here we are.

So that's where i stand. It's horrifying and tragic what those armed political powers have been doing to the people of both sides: keeping them in a state of terror, punctuated by brutal violence. I support the common public of both Israel and Palestine, whose political leaders have betrayed them deeply, and who deserve peace.

and that's all i'm going to say about that on here i think.