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nev3rfound · 5 years

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you is more than enough : b.b

brief summary: you’re extroverted and rather blunt. something bucky can’t help but find himself drawn in by your attitude.

requested: yup, by @robotskilledmygrandma (bonus points for the excellent username mate) word count: 1.1k warnings? none

* requests are open if you have any ideas, feel free to drop ‘em in my inbox or message me. *

He wasn’t sure what it was that drew him in exactly, but he knew it had something to do with your attitude.

When he first met you he was still reframed from everyone else, not one to talk much other than Steve. He was still healing and learning, but then you walked in and flipped it all for him.

You smiled at everyone, making eye contact with all the people in the room as if you owned the place. Never had anyone simply looked at him in a meaningful glance with a smile like you had, hell, you had no idea of the effect that gaze and smile caused him.

And then you introduced yourself, slipping your hands out of your pockets as Tony was the first to walk over and kiss the back of your hand. Rather than fall into pieces under the billionaire's touch you raised an eyebrow and let out a dry laugh. “How cute.” You stated bluntly, and Tony moved away muttering how he finally found someone willing.

As time went on with you in the compound Bucky found himself watching you more and more. When you’d all train he would be minding his own business, destroying the punching bag as Sam stood on the other side, making some snide comments to him of encouragements. You would walk in with that tight top, not caring how much skin you had on shown as some of the Avengers heads turned. But you didn’t even notice nor care about it.

He would follow you as you’d turn your head, smiling to both him and Sam with a nod of your baseball cap before heading to the weights.

Or when you’d be out in public, if someone catcalled you it was not the best idea. You would retort with something much worse, leaving the caller stunned whilst Bucky chuckled in the background. He thought he was being discreet, but you always heard his little snickers or saw his smiles.

Sitting in the kitchen with a book Bucky was minding his own business, wrapped up in his own world and for once, this was a peaceful place for his mind to be in.

He barely notices the sound of slippers along the corridor, his brain relaxed as his eyes follow the small printed letters on the pages almost too delicate for his grasp. And then out of the corner of his eye, he sees you.

“Hey, Buck.” You yawn loudly as you reach up for a mug, desperate for something caffeinated.

Bucky opens his mouth to respond, but he’s lost for words. It wasn’t to do with his nerves, he was just taken aback by your relaxed appearance. Usually, you’d be ready to go out into the world, dressed to take on the day and not give a flying shit about anyone. Yet, here you are the biggest shirt that hangs loosely over your figure. You nudge your glasses closer to your face and your hair, well Bucky wished he could smile at how beautifully adorable you look.

“You alright in there Bucky?” He snaps out of his daze as you are leaning across the counter, a mug tightly grasping in your hands as the steam rises to your glasses, fogging them up.

He smiles before reaching over, his fingertip swiping across the glass in an attempt to clean them. As he retracts his hand he sees it only made it worse, but you’re smiling at him. “I tried?” He shrugs his shoulders, unsure what has happened to his voice at this moment as you remain perfectly still.

What he didn’t know was that the butterflies in your stomach had broken out of their cocoons. They were flapping their wings as fast as they could every time his eyes met yours. As someone notoriously blunt and honest, it seems that Bucky Barnes was one of the few people who left you almost speechless.

Clearing your throat you slide back and you try to ignore his eyes, but you can’t ignore the disheartened expression that falls heavy in his gaze as you stand up straight.

“Do you have any plans for Valentines?” You ask as you sip your drink, raising an eyebrow to him.

He sits upright, placing his book down before shaking his head. “Why would I have plans on Valentines?” He asks as if it were the most obvious answer in the world, but the look you gave him said something words couldn’t describe.

You scoff before placing your mug down. “Come on Buck.” You state as you motion to him. “Look at you. You’re this handsome guy who is single in a city full of eligible ladies. Who frankly could use a guy like you to stop most of them being walking STI’s.”

Bucky laughs quietly, shaking his head. “And do you fall into that category, doll?” He finds his voice once again, the tables turning as you take a step back surprised by this change.

“I don’t think so, Buck.” You state and he can feel his heart sinking. Of course, you’d have someone, how couldn’t you? “I like to think I’m a maybe half a step up? Well, I can’t say I’ve contracted an STI before so that’s a start.” You sip at your drink and see Bucky smiling to you.

“Meaning you don’t have plans for Valentines either?” He proposes the question, hoping you’d say no.

“Nope.” You pop the P and rub your lips together, making him cross one leg over the other as you smirk. He remains quiet for a moment, unsure what to say until you let out a sigh. “Oh come on Barnes!” You speak up before groaning and walking out of the kitchen.

Bucky remained still, slightly bewildered as to what just happened. Standing up he followed you down the corridor, more so the sound of your slippers. “Y/n?” He calls out and you stop, a small smile forming on your face whilst your back remains turned.

“What’s up buttercup?” Turning around you cross your arms as he opens his mouth, and you patiently wait for the words to leave his lips.

“Would you want to go to Coney Island with me tomorrow?” There’s a hint of hope in his words, lacing his tone as he can feel himself almost standing on his tiptoes in suspense.

He watches and lets out a sigh of relief as a smile plays on your lips. “Took you long enough Barnes.” You state before nearing him and wrapping your arms tightly around him.

Before he can fully react a series of doors open as all of the Avengers start yelling to one another.

“You owe me fifty bucks, Rogers!” Sam yells across as Steve mumbles under his breath as he smiles to his best friend, thankful he finally made a move but annoyed he didn’t wait until Valentine's day itself.

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tmararepairs · 4 years

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Claimed, thank you!

Pinch hit #1

Deadline is February 13. If you can fill in for this, please send an ask and include your ao3 username!

All requests are for fic. Details under cut. Ships include: Eric Delano/Mary Keay, Georgie Barker/Alex Brooke, Georgie Barker/Karolina Górka, Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Jonathan Sims, Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gerard Keay & Jonathan Sims, Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Sasha James/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/The Vast

Request 1 by Rozzlynn Eric Delano/Mary Keay (Fic) Summary A closer look at their relationship would be interesting! How did Eric reconcile the sort of worldview that let him judge Gertrude for 'ruining lives' with his love for Mary even knowing she was a murderer? How did his love of ghosts and danger play out in his job and their marriage? How useful was he to her, before she decided to get rid of him? Did he have any qualms about the way Mary was raising Gerry those couple of years when he was trying to quit so he could be there for his son? Could go for something set during canon, or a divergence where he survives for longer somehow? (Doing something that convinced Mary he was worth keeping once he was blind? Doubting her and breaking up over Gerry's future, with Mary's part in those events shown? Third party interference triggering a different path, e.g. someone targeting the Archivist's assistants, and Mary stepping in for Eric's sake, with butterfly effect consequences?) Creepy pregnancy fic? A second child?

DNW: - Pure PWP (though explicit content is welcome in fics that also show their lives outside of sex). - Eric committing sexual violence. (On the other hand, if you have a plotbunny that involves Mary being awful to Eric as part of their relationship deteriorating, feel free to go with that. But don't feel that you have to write violence between them, of any sort.) - A sole focus on book-ghost Eric, since by then the 'real' him is dead and he doesn't feel quite how he did while alive, and the show's covered his state of mind at that point. - Child!Gerry dying or suffering beyond-canon-typical abuse. - Noncanonical side ships coming up. (To err on the side of caution.) - Waterworks/scat.

Request 2 by Rozzlynn Georgie Barker/Alex Brooke, Georgie Barker/Karolina Górka (Fic) Summary What sort of chemistry did Georgie have with Alex? What sort could she have with Karolina? Something about fairly fearless and practical girls sticking together. Prompt ideas:

- Alex comes back as an end avatar. Georgie, with her emotions still not really working, but no fear in the mix, and some lingering love still present, has a hard time figuring out how to react. (Tries to work out what happened to Alex? Tries to rekindle whatever she thinks she ought to feel? Finds out Alex is taking victims, and destroys her to save others, leaving her emotions all the more a mess? Could be before she met Jon, or something she hides from him while they're friends or dating, or Jon is really creeped out and worried by all this - maybe Alex almost kills him.)

- Entity swap alternate encounter for Georgie and Alex at uni - something where Georgie still comes out fearless, but things play out differently for them?

- Karolina seems extremely unflappable, showing no fear even in the statement nightmares when she's crushed to death. And yet the fears still have more of a foothold with her, since she's not as wholly immune to dream violence as Georgie. Something where they meet, and are both interested to see how someone else is dealing practically with the horrors of the world they live in? With Georgie relieved that, hey, here's someone who won't imply she's stupid for not fearing danger. And trying to help Karolina find even more genuine equilibrium, if she figures out that she's still struggling on some level - a heavily repressed fear response buried under fatalistic acceptance? Is she too fatalistic to fully enjoy life, her feelings choked by the pressure that has her still shedding dust everywhere? Does Georgie manage to help?

- Possible Georgie/Melanie/Karolina, if Melanie's already in the picture, maybe trying to bring up things learned from therapy.

- Sensory play, to help process things, with plot- and characterisation-relevant discussion of the results.

- (For dark humour, could add Georgie and Karolina falling asleep together, and both of them being in an 'oh fuck off, Jon' mood when they see him in their nightmares a few minutes later. Not that they can talk in the dreamscape, but, y'know. Mood.)

DNWs - Georgie dying, or still feeling fear. (Not counting something partially set before her encounter, so long as she's fearless afterwards.) - Melanie getting excluded from anything around the time she'd be there in canon. - Noncanonical side ships coming up (besides passing mentions of prior partners). - Apocalypse - Noncon (though dubcon from the extreme difficulty any of them might have processing feelings would be ok, so long as they work with each other when they actually piece things together). - PWP - Waterworks/scat.

Request 3 by Rozzlynn Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Jonathan Sims (Fic) Summary I'd be really interested in something from their uni days! Building on what Georgie's said about that time: "I numbly got myself some water, and ignored my weeping mother. She tried to hug me, but her arms just slid off my limp shoulders. And that was my life for several months. Eventually, the memory began to fade, and I started to feel again. I took the year out of university under the umbrella of ‘medical reasons’, and by the time I met you I was, well, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same person I was before, but I had started being able to actually live again."

Given that Georgie was only starting to be able to feel things again (minus fear), and Jon seems to have always been an emotional wreck to some degree even when he tried to come across as functional, and uni's a place where young people tend to have some ups and downs adapting to adult life for the first time even if they're not dealing with supernatural trauma... well, that must have been a weird time for them, right?

- Jon being bad at dealing with anything on an emotional level, still getting used to not living with his grandmother, trying to keep up academically, exaggerating his accent, getting carried away with things he dives into with his problems with moderation, but maybe still having trouble focusing on the sort of work that requires him to 'read the same book twice'.

- Georgie having enough trouble processing her own emotions that she doesn't register as an issue things that she'd criticise Jon for by the time she's gotten to where she is in canon.

- Both of them going through the motions a bit, with 'functional adult' life things as well as relationship things. The presence of another person encouraging them to somewhat keep up healthy habits like food, rest, study breaks and keeping deadlines, even when they'd feel a bit dissociated on their own? And/or one of them going off the rails in a 'students making bad life choices' way, and getting some solidarity from the other (sure, let's stay up three days in a row to study, then build a marshmallow fort just because we can and fall asleep in it and wake up with sticky hair').

- Experimenting with sex/kink? Any shade of ace for Jon; if sex-repulsed then figuring out what other kinds of intimacy they'd enjoy, if sex-indifferent or -positive then figuring out how much they feel from that kind of activity (and from nonsexual stuff too, cause why not)? (I'm not looking for PWP, but would be interested in stuff with awkwardness, character/relationship development, humour - including any plotbunnies where they give up on experimentation that's not working out and have a laugh about it.)

- Either or both of them getting triggered by a reminder of their supernatural encounters, and trying to cope without actually explaining what happened. The sound of knocking at a bad time bringing up memories of Mr Spider? A friend watching a crime show with corpses on screen that act as a reminder of things that are still unpleasant to recall even if they don't incite fear? Georgie missing Alex and needing some space? Jon's survivor's guilt flaring up and making him a bit paranoid for Georgie's safety, trying to subtly check friends' bookshelves for Leitners when they visit (and not being subtle, so just coming across as really weird)?

- Going on a trip during the holidays or after graduation? Georgie learning how prone Jon is to wandering off and getting lost? A restaurant meal where Jon sees a spider and has to kill it, even if it means getting too close to another table / the kitchens / the ceiling? Georgie getting annoyed at rude posh people and wistfully thinking that Alex would have confronted them (and possibly punched them), and maybe feeling pleased when Jon questions them over something a bit pedantic until they want to punch him?

- Breaking up when Georgie's recovered to the point where she's getting more functional than in her first few years after the End incident, and seeing more of a problem with Jon's behaviour? And Jon seeing that as things ending really badly because it feels like she's gotten to know him and decided he's not good enough, even over things that she didn't used to mind?

DNWs - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, and they could get upset over activities going badly, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if he doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames hers. Or they could both be biromantic ace, with no reason to blame that for their problems.) - AU where they didn't break up, or where they got back together. In other words, keep them exes for the parts of the timeline where that's canon. (But the fill could be set entirely before the breakup.) - Noncanonical side ships coming up (besides passing mentions of prior partners). - PWP (I like plotfic, with or without explicit content) - Noncon/waterworks/scat

Request 4 by Rozzlynn Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gerard Keay & Jonathan Sims (Fic) Summary Some Gerry lives fic? With some of the same prompts as the Gerry ships request, if you feel like using them as a setup for platonic bonding rather than a shippy polypile:

- Gerry helping with Gertrude's plan to kill Jonah and destroy the Institute, which succeeds this time, and maybe meeting & bringing in some of the others while they're still working in Research / Artefact Storage / the Library. (Since non-Archive staff can quit without blinding themselves, fair to assume they're not tied closely enough to Jonah to die if he dies? So only Gertrude has to worry about that part. Maybe Gerry helps her to the hospital?)

- Gerry finding out that Gertrude is part-desolation (she mentions burning inside, and her ritual circle mitigating the worst effects - can she light a cigarette with her bare hands?), and/or finding out she's working with Leitner too. Possibly precipitated by a spooky attack that they deal with together?

- Gerry being alive and meeting Jon, giving him more info/warning about Beholding at some point in the timeline. (Early enough that Jon tries to turn down the Archivist position and warn off the others too? Gerry knows that Jonah killed Gertrude and tries to enlist some help in taking him down? Early s1 Jon gets warned off live statements by a Gerry who learned why Gertrude usually avoided them, and they try to protect themselves and the archive assistants from Jonah's attempts to organise attacks on the Institute to traumatise Jon with every entity?)

DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Character death or full monsterhood for Gerry, Jon, or Jon's assistants (canon's got that covered in many ways and I'd like to see their living potential explored). - Apocalypse - Shippy Gerry/Gertrude or Gerry/Jon (except Gerry and Jon in a polypile, but that's in another request, see below). - Other noncanonical ships, in general. (Platonic focus preferred for this one, but if, e.g., Basira/Daisy or Georgie/Melanie somehow comes up, ok to mention that that still happens.) - Noncon/waterworks/scat.

Request 5 by Rozzlynn Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner (Fic) Summary Something exploring their friendship post-coffin? They seem to end up getting each other's mistakes without condoning them, understanding how much of it was supernatural coercion, trauma response, and their own flaws, and sharing a very dry, dark sense of humour. They've seen some interesting sides of each other, and moved past the attempted murder and supernaturally inflicted trauma nightmares even though both must've been pretty awful at the time. Neither of them have many other friends who could get exactly how badly messed up their lives are and stick with them, besides those who are actively unrepentantly evil like Helen (and whatever mix of denial and turning a blind eye Basira's approach was, and Martin who wanted Jon to do better but refused to get directly involved during his own crisis).

- Jon and Daisy supporting each other's attempts to stay relatively human? Discussing the past, and the others? Daisy keeping an eye on Jon while Basira and Rosie are dealing with the people who come to the Institute to give written statements - the sort of thing that led Jon to tell Martin that their intervention was exactly what he needed?

- S4 canon divergence, with one of the finale episodes taking a different turn?

- Jon and Daisy managing to do something positive for the others (Basira, Melanie, Martin)?

- Passing mention of the 'normal' institute staff being creeped out by running into Jon and Daisy (both of them looking dangerous and half dead, with rumours about murders and disappearances still following them around). Daisy coping better than Jon with this. Basira effectively being the archivist everyone deals with if they can help it. (Melanie's not quite as scary as she used to be, but she's barely around... Who'd have thought Martin would end up siding with the evil new boss...?) Though if you go with this prompt, at least part of the fic from Daisy or Jon's pov preferred, rather than entirely outsider pov.

- Melanie trying to pass on therapeutic advice and activities (based on whatever mundane version of events she told her therapist about them); Daisy and Jon trying to listen, not necessarily liking all of it, and putting some of the activites into practice bc they need to keep busy (maybe not necessarily lasting long before making a dark joke of it, maybe finding it helpful anyway).

DNWs - Feral!Daisy within the fill, unless she manages to come around without permanently reverting to the Hunt or going on a killing spree against innocents in the meantime or anything. - Jon taking statements within the fill (except from other monsters if they bring on a crisis, like with Peter). - Apocalypse. - Shippy Jon/Daisy, except in a Basira/Daisy/Jon/Martin polypile where some of them share and/or are friends with benefits. - Other noncanonical ships coming up. - PWP - Noncon/waterworks/scat.

Request 6 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan SimsMartin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker (Fic) Summary Have fun with an AU that gives them a chance to shine? Divergences from the canon while Gerry was around, or alternate settings, so they can be alive together. Prompt ideas:

- Gerry helping Tim after Danny's death, or meeting Danny in time to avert it.

- Gerry telling Jon more about Gertrude and the supernatural than he had the chance to in canon, and helping his statement addiction stabilise at around the same level as Gertrude's, questioning any impulsive use of compelling so that Jon thinks it through and gets stricter with himself (especially with Martin and Tim's input), trying out protective measures to mitigate the statement nightmares for everyone involved (since with the tattoos and everything he learned working with Mary and Gertrude, Gerry seems to know a thing or two about channeling and hiding from the eye, using supernatural powers without losing himself).

- Jon still finding Eric's tape eventually, and Gerry hearing about his dad's life that way, while the others deal with the knowledge of how to quit.

- Exploring the tunnels and Jon meeting Leitner under different circumstances, Gerry finding out 'wait that really was him?' and Leitner still being scared after he beat him up that time, Martin trying to stop another fight, Tim wanting to find out more about Smirke from Leitner.

- Gerry meeting the others while they're still working in the Research & Library departments; they all help with Gertrude's plan to kill Jonah and destroy the Institute, and make enough of a difference that it succeeds. (Since non-Archive staff can quit without blinding themselves, fair to assume they're not tied closely enough to Jonah to die if he dies? So only Gertrude has to worry about that part. Could include Sasha helping as a friend, and Basira and Daisy lending police support? Maybe after Gertrude quits, the next Archivist that Beholding picks is someone at the sister organisation in China or America, and Gertrude gives them some advice.)

- Alternate careers with section 31 equivalents. E.g. Jon as a surgeon (his grandma made him study medicine) with an eye for dealing with supernatural injuries? Tim got into architecture or the occult side of publishing, or became a cop? Martin got into something really random from applying to absolutely everything with a fake cv - maybe working several jobs / nightshifts and giving a statement after running into spooky trouble? Or working at the occult store with Jane and Oliver, and meeting Gerry while he worked at the bookshop? (How much more exasperated would Martin have been if he knew Jane before she went wormy and she still besieged his flat? Maybe Gerry helped, and Jon worked for the ECDC?)

- Mixed feelings over the holidays, since they all have/had difficult family situations. Learning to look after each other (Martin feeling appreciated for his efforts to take care of his loved ones, Tim feeling supported, Jon feeling that he can protect them all and there's no crisis to jump at or information he's missing, Gerry feeling understood by people who know about the supernatural and want to build a life free of the worst of it alongside him). Holiday preparations with their friends - Sasha, Georgie, Melanie, The Admiral. Jon's tendency to need mental stimulus and to get carried away manifests as ridiculously overdoing something like gift shopping, cooking attempts, or planning a trip (and still overlooking things he should've foreseen - so it's a good thing problem solving is a team effort).

DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Other noncanonical ships coming up. (Unless you want to include Sasha in a plot where she lives, joining the main polypile, or a triad with Melanie and Georgie. Mentions of oc previous partners are also ok.) - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if Jon doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames anyone else's. Any shade of ace is ok.) - Character death within the ship. (Not keen on book!Gerry for this, as he didn't want to exist that way for long.) - Anyone in the ship going unrepentantly evil as a full monster. - Apocalypse - Noncon within the ship. (If you want to include an element of hurt/comfort over any of them having previously suffered bad things outside of this ship, then feel free.) - PWP - Waterworks/scat.

Request 7 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/Sasha James/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker (Fic) Summary Have fun with an AU that gives them a chance to shine? Divergences from the canon while Sasha was around, or alternate settings, so they can be alive together. Prompt ideas:

- Sasha meeting the others during a misadventure in Artefact Storage (while Jon and Tim worked in research and Martin worked in the library).

- Sasha finding out how Gertrude really lived in time to help with her retirement plan, getting the others involved one way or another. They kill Jonah and make plans for what to do after the Institute's destroyed, counting their blessings that they never worked in the Archive.

- During the chaos and panic of Prentiss' attack, Sasha accidentally knocked Elias into the tidal wave of worms before she made it to the fire suppression system and saved the others. (Jonah's body in the panopticon is alive and kinda stuck there, so they all live). They're upset about losing the head of the institute... until they listen to Gertrude's tapes and learn what's really going on. Jon tells the others how much he's becoming like Gertrude (nightmares, compulsion), and when they know everything the audience knows as of current canon, he quits with the others' support to stay human.

- Hurt/comfort over near-death experiences

- Going on a long holiday together after it's all over. Sasha and Jon picking museums to visit, Jon and Martin lingering in bookshop cafes, Martin and Tim picking scenic outdoor routes to visit, and Tim trying to get the others involved in sporty outdoor activities (too bad they're all nerds, but they give things a go, mostly).

- Alternate careers with section 31 equivalents.

- Mixed feelings over the holidays, since they all have/had difficult family situations, assuming Sasha fits Jonah's trend of hiring people without many attachments. Learning to look after each other (Martin feeling appreciated for his efforts to take care of his loved ones, Tim feeling supported, Jon feeling that he can protect them all and there's no crisis to jump at or information he's missing, Sasha feeling intellectually fulfilled with nothing left to truly fear). Jon's tendency to need mental stimulus and to get carried away manifests as ridiculously overdoing something like gift shopping, cooking attempts, or planning a trip (and still overlooking things he should've foreseen - so it's a good thing problem solving is a team effort).

- Sasha and gay!Martin bonding platonically in a polypile, finding it's a relief to be able to talk to each other without the particular kinds of pressure that come with their romantic relationships with Jon and Tim, to the extent that the ship feels all the more like found family for each of them thanks to the other's inclusion.

DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Other noncanonical ships coming up (besides mentions of oc previous partners). - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if Jon doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames anyone else's. Any shade of ace is ok.) - Character death within the ship. (I've had my fill of 'the others mourn Sasha' for now.) - Anyone in the ship going unrepentantly evil as a full monster. - Apocalypse - Noncon within the ship. (If you want to include an element of hurt/comfort over any of them having previously suffered bad things outside of this ship, then feel free.) - PWP - Waterworks/scat.

Request 8 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/The Vast (Fic) Summary Okay, so Martin canonically: - is claustrophobic - had many bad times besieged in buildings and lost in tunnels and corridors - wrote poetry about wandering the countryside like a cloud - is bitter about never having had the chance to travel - is a bit conflict avoidant, and ended up feeling so trapped by a terrible situation that he found some relief in isolating himself (didn't miss the shouting, couldn't bring himself to want to deal with his problems anymore), even while he was suicidally depressed over it all.

What if the Vast got ahold of him? Prompts for various bits of a possible timeline:

- In s3, Martin insists on accompanying Jon on his research trip abroad, to help with the work and to look after him. (Nobody can deny that Jon needs looking after, by that point, and Martin is his assistant.) They have an encounter with the Vast in a plane, or on the road through China or America's wide open spaces. Though they survive, Martin's infected in a way that builds over time, like with Melanie and the Slaughter.

- When they're back in London with the plan for the Unknowing organised, Martin persuades Jon to use the Archives budget for a corporate team building day in the countryside, to try to address the interpersonal issues between the staff. The event goes a bit strange.

- After the Unknowing and the Flesh attack, when Martin stops expecting Jon to wake up and says goodbye, maybe he nopes out and flees into the Vast, aware that it's been stalking at his heels? (Intending to lose himself there forever, not become an avatar who hurts others.) - Maybe, months later, he runs into Simon Fairchild while falling through the sky, and hears news about the Institute. When he hears that Jon's awake, that he's still got something tethering him to the world, he drops out of the Vast. - In his absence, Peter made a deal with Basira? (She already thought she couldn't trust anyone but herself. Peter figured she was lonely enough, and had to find the Extinction research to convince her to work with him.)

- Or Martin still makes the deal during Jon's coma, but Peter adapts his approach, sensing the Vast's influence. Either he thinks it'll help draw Martin to the idea of seeing everything via the panopticon, or he worries it'll put him off staying underground there, no matter how unlimited his vision may be as a result. So he either encourages Martin to isolate himself in a Vast-aligned way (research trips out in desolate places, with enough Institute paperwork to avoid withdrawal), or tries to train it out of him (confining him to the building, trying to instill agoraphobia). - At the office, Martin opens the windows even in awful weather, works on the rooftop on his phone or tablet, gets distracted by the sky, etc.

- Things reach a crisis point one way or another, and Jon follows Martin into his space within the Vast. (With different avatars having different powers, and several places falling within each entity, like Forsaken having the graveyard, ocean, beach, suburbs, etc... Maybe Martin's Vast niche is a cloudy sky far above a beautiful green landscape that never gets any closer, evoking an overwhelming mixture of grief and relief that everything below is out of reach; beautiful from a distance, but closing the distance would be too painful to consider.) Jon still tries to talk him out of it, unwilling to leave without him. Either they both leave, or neither of them do? - If Peter doesn't manage to send Martin to the Lonely & tempt Jon in after him, Jonah gets frustrated over the bet being useless. (Mike Crew's already covered the Vast, why couldn't Peter do his job properly??)

DNWs - Peter/Martin, Simon/Martin. In general, Martin being genuinely ok with anyone he knows is an unreformed mass murderer. (If the prompts give you a whump idea that leans on assault by one of them as an extra factor in his depression, making the Vast a relative sanctuary of gentle fear, then go ahead with the noncon, but don't go out of your way to include it otherwise.) - Jonah ships. - Martin knowingly & willingly killing a victim. (Fighting another avatar in self defence would be ok. The Vast maliciously messing with his perceptions and reflexes so he's not actually sure what he's done while badly dissociated could work, if a plotbunny needs something like that.) - Martin or Jon dying more unambiguously than being Vast-stranded indefinitely (as the upper limit for a worst case scenario). - PWP. (Though that seems unlikely here, as any smut between Martin and an entity would need a plot to establish even what and how. And honestly, I can't say I'm keen to read about Martin jerking off in midair. So, uh, don't reach for explicit content unless you've got a plotbunny that involves it in an emotional arc?) - Heavy internalised acephobia. - Waterworks/scat.

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mindlikeaninja · 5 years

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A/S/L??

@queen-o-castle tagged me in this Get-to-Know-You post, and it made me so reminiscent of high school Hotmail email chains with my friends which were then immediately uploaded to my Xanga page that I just had to do it. Besides, who doesn’t like talking about themselves and pretending like people care?? Have fun stealing my identity!!

Also, in true email quiz chain fashion, I’m going to tag a person or two that I know, but also a bunch that I have a Tumblr crush on and think they’re amazing and I just want to draw doodly hearts around their usernames. I’m gonna go change my AIM away message and get butterflies when I hear the door opening .wav file play.

@caffeinewineo @lostandfoundinthebackofmymind @l0vegl0wsinthedark @bixgirl1 @wilwheaton (because you never know, maybe he misses Xanga too) @bunjywunjy @pearl-likes-pi

Name/Alias: Melissa. I have had so many usernames in the past (but this is my super secret Tumblr blog so don’t go stalking me okay??) like mgmdrums, tsoliastra, melissapocalypse, and my favorite from the days of Yahoo, djfanatic (short for Daniel Jackson Fanatic).

Birthday: March 29th. Shared with the lovely Marina Sirtis, the brilliant Eric Idle, and the indomitable Lucy Lawless.

Zodiac: Aries af. My sister is way more into it and could tell you shit about my moon signs and I don’t know, what Jupiter’s moons were gossiping about when I was born or something. I just know I’m stubborn and genuinely have no fucks to give.

Height: 5′ 7″. My whole extended family is tall.

Hobbies: Playing the same 2 video game franchises repeatedly (Mass Effect and Dragon Age). Rewatching the same shows/movies repeatedly. Rereading books I’ve already read and occasionally sneaking in a new one periodically. Sleeping (legitimately, depression is a bitch). Eating (the weight gain has happened, might as well run with it. Well....not run, obviously. Sit with it, maybe). Cuddling with my 4 cats. Starting projects/hobbies and then getting bored with them after a week or less (drawing, making candles, knitting, etc.)

Favorite colors: I don’t know that I have a specific one anymore, but blues are probably my most frequent go-to. I like deep, darker colors. Eggplant, a rich burgundy, deep emerald, etc. Pastels are too nice for me, and I’m not really a neon person.

Favorite books: This is a deep, deep well of obsession, so here goes: The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold. It’s 15+ book series that primarily follows Miles Vorkosigan, a brilliant strategist who probably has bipolar disorder and is a mix between Sherlock Holmes, Vash the Stampede, and Tyrion Lannister (heavy on the Vash, he gets in more trouble than seems physically possible, and on the Tyrion for multiple reasons). Except it’s so much more than that, and I’m obsessed with this series almost as much as I am Dragon Age and Mass Effect, and I wish more people had heard of it. If you’re at all interested ask me ask me ask me and I would love to talk to you about it. Or don’t, because I might not shut up. ------ Beyond that series, I like the Artemis Fowl series, the Ender’s Game series, and the Outlander series (I love long, long stories) just to name a few. Another favorite that even less have heard of than the Vorkosigan Saga: The Saga of Pliocene Exile/Intervention/The Galactic Milieu Trilogy, by Julian May. It’s a sort of convoluted and confusing series to explain, but it’s 3 series of books that utilize time travel (spoiler) and so the end of one takes you back to the beginning of another and it just loops. It’s amazing and I love it so, so much. I’m so sad that nobody seems to have ever heard of it.

Last song listened to: "Piano Man”, by Billy Joel. It actually was on the radio, which bears mentioning because he’s my favorite musical artist of all time and I have every single one of his albums on CD and know all the words to almost all of them (I don’t know his Attila stuff, mainly because the quality is....not great).

Last movie watched: Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus. It made me very, very happy.

Inspiration for muse: I’m not very creative, so I get less “inspiration to create via muse” and more “inspiration to clean my house because someone’s coming over”. A lot of the new things I try are things I’ve seen my friends doing and it seems fun, or I feel like I should try to do something to better things for my cats. I used to play piano and percussion both pretty significantly (got a scholarship for them, and was actually pretty fucking good at it). But I don’t play anymore, and that was pretty much my only artistic output.

Dream job: I loved working on a college campus. I was an admin assistant for student conduct and what was basically the students’ social worker. I’d love to have some sort of administrative role in the student support services arena. I don’t know that I need to be the one meeting with them face-to-face, but I want to be involved in it somehow.

Meaning behind my URL: I love webcomics (seriously, I have probably 30 different webcomics that I’m currently keeping up with, maybe more, and a bunch more that have ended that I read when they were still going). One of them is Sheldon Comics, by Dave Kellett. His strip on Aug. 11, 2006 is as follows:

It just stuck with me. Okay I’m done. And I’m sorry.

#not sorry #a little sorry #gonna blog like it's 1999

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katy-133 · 5 years

Text

My Thoughts on the Ending of Hypnospace Outlaw

It's been several days since I finished playing Hypnospace Outlaw. I recommend that you don't read this until you've 1) Finished the game’s main storyline and reached the game’s credits. And, 2) Formed your own opinions on the ending.

This write-up isn't to try and change your opinions on the game. It's my way of getting my thoughts on it straightened out, and to throw a different perspective on it to pause for thought on. Hypnospace Outlaw is a game I really enjoyed and highly recommend to people who, like myself, have been looking for a detective game that really lets you think for yourself and doesn't hold your hand at every step. It’s funny, it’s smart, and it makes you invested in the characters’ lives. And there are quite a lot of them!

However, the ending is something that (while not souring my impressions) really changed the way I interpreted the game as a whole.

First off, I love "The Dog Bites Back" trope of a protagonist who starts off as a tiny cog in a huge machine, but slowly becomes part of the inciting incident that takes down the whole thing. It’s the Butterfly Effect embodied into a protagonist and I love it! The Enforcer goes from being Merchantsoft’s dogsbody, to having it’s co-creator arrested.

- We don't really get any closure with Adrian Merchant. We don't know if he'll be arrested. We don't see his reaction to the Enforcer's actions. Adrian was the one providing the money for Hypnospace, and we know from reading the ChitChat messages that he agreed with the idea of hiding the possible medical risks of the headbands to the public.

- Dylan definitely knew that he was doing the wrong thing, from the outset. This was not a “I didn’t realize what my creation was capable of" type situation. He knew he had created something dangerous. It's why he tried to hide the medical tests. It's why he joined HAP only after he learned that the Enforcer had a working headband. He was trying not to get caught. Even after 20 years, he still never admitted to having done anything wrong, and it's only after being shown damning evidence that he apologies.

- He didn’t even do anything to try and fix things when Tim--who was 16 years old at the time--took the fall and served several years in prison for something he didn’t do. Twenty years later, Tim actually believes the lie that it was all his fault.

- Dylan THREATENS the Enforcer: After he joins HAP, one of the emails he sends the Enforcer can basically be interpreted as a thinly-veiled threat to dox our name. Not our Enforcer username, mind you. Our real name. Because it’s written in our headband (“Your name sounds so familiar... Did we used to ChitChat?”).

- Having Dylan apologize at the eleventh hour really changes the dynamic of the ending. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it takes the game out of the black-and-white “We defeated the great evil and took down the baddie” (a trope I like) to a more bittersweet “We took down the villain, but he's shown to be human and he's sorry for what he did.” Again, that's not inherently a bad thing (bittersweet endings are my favourite), but for it to work, it requires us to believe Dylan has changed.

- Dylan gives us a finalized version of Outlaw to play, where he gives himself up to us to arrest. From a game mechanics standpoint, this works, because it's exciting. But from a storytelling standpoint, it's a man who writes in his apology that he knows he got too preoccupied in making his dream project. But if that's the case, why put the apology in that project (the project that basically killed several people) as hidden game files?

- I think it also doesn't help that Dylan (unintentionally) shares parallels to recent public apologies people in power (specifically in the animation industry) have made to workers who were mistreated by them. Dylan and Merchantsoft as a whole definitely have misogyny going on behind the scenes (the way Samantha is dismissed in conversations and how, if you're roleplaying as a female Enforcer, the Merchantsoft Survey will say that you are “not qualified” to complete it, abruptly ending the survey).

These parallels make you wonder, “Was he really sorry? Or was he just sorry that he got caught? He did have twenty years to do the right thing after all, but didn’t until the Enforcer came back...”

And, from the way the game framed the apology, I don't think that was how we were meant to interpret it. I think we are meant to take the apology as genuine. But how can it be genuine if the Enforcer had to move this many mountains, and provide this much evidence, to get that apology twenty years too late?

For all the moments I laughed at the game's sense of humour, was impressed by the game's art and music, and felt genuine “Eureka!” moments of deduction, the ending left me feeling hollow. Almost haunted. A kinda “I don’t know what to make of this” feeling.

But at the end of the day, I would much rather a game leave me feeling like this, than play a game where I explore it, finish it, and completely forget about.

Hypnospace Outlaw is a game that I will remember.

-Katy133

#hypnospace outlaw #spoilers #my text #review #pause for thought #gender #tropes

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transbcyfriend · 6 years

Note

For the homestuck asky, EVERY question 🔫

CARL I OWE U MY MCFUCKIN LIFE

1. Do you have a chum handle? What does it mean?

i don’t! i mean i used to have pesterchum installed on my computer when i was like, 13, but i don’t remember SHIT of what it was. probably something embarrassing.

2. Is your username homestuck related/have you had one hs related?

my current one isn’t, but i used to have one w/ dirk in the title

3. Do you call your s/o a matesprit?

i … i haven’t heard of anyone doing this since middle school. nah

4. Do you call your best friend your moirail?

see answer to 3

5. Are you “kin” with any characters or commonly called a character?

answered!

6. God Tier?

knight of heart!

7. Do you make HS fanart?

i haven’t in a rlly long time, but i rlly want to! i’m thinking i’ll end up doing some soon for a late 4/13 pic

8. Do you make hs fanfiction?

don’t remind me i was just a kid

9. Do you roleplay homestuck? where and how often?

i used to! i rlly wanna do it again, but everyone i know who wants to rp hs just wanna do it for the smut :/

if i could get an rp partner who just wanted to for fun tho, i’d b down to try my hand at it again!

10. Do you cosplay homestuck characters? Who and where?

GOD DON’T REMIND ME

when i was but a wee lad i cosplayed as dave bc he was my fav, but that was it

i’d lov to cosplay the signless at some point tho, i like his design

11. Are you apart of ask blogs?

nope! i debated it, but i was never confident enough in my skills as rping a certain character outside of private rp

12. Are you in any homestuck groups?

nope!

13. Favorite character?

tbh i’d probably say dave, since he’s … the most relatable to me personally? that and i love his rambles when he just spouts some random shit and goes off on a billion tangents at once. i also rlly like karkat, roxy, kanaya, and mituna!

14. Least favorite character?

caliborn.

i can appreciate him as a character, but he’s…yeah. y’already know.

15. OTP?

i lov rosemary a hella lot, but i also like davekat!

16. NOTP?

…y’know that’s a good question. i don’t rlly think abt ships a lot, just homestuck as a story itself, so. never rlly thought abt it. i’m gonna have to mull that over.

17. BROTP?

nepeta/equius, hands down.

18. Do you want homestuck to just die already?

nah – it’s a rlly good story, tbh. sure it’s confusing if you don’t keep tabs on things and engross yourself in it, but it’s really well done.

19. Are you following up with hiveswap? Do you play? Watch YT videos?

i am! i mean i haven’t seen anything going on except for the troll reveals, but ye – i need to catch up on the playthrough i’m watching (jack’s). i’d play it myself, but i’m staying on a budget.

20. Tell us how homestuck has effected you in real life?

it’s made me really rewire how i go about telling my own stories, tbh – that and it made me rethink comics and how interesting they could be without being just “sunday funnies.” i grew up with shit like archie comics, nothing that really strung together (not to mention something as long as homestuck is), but it made me change my view on how good and serious one could be.

21. Have you met anyone through homestuck?

i have! i don’t know ‘em anymore, but they were a chill group.

22. Have you left the fandom before?

nah – i’m just kinda off to the side of the fandom in my own little bubble, i don’t really get too involved in discourse or w/e to rlly feel the need to leave

that and it’s had my interest for too long for me to leave

23. How many times have you read through it?

5! 3 times on my own, and 2 times reading it to other people.

24. Did you ever skip intermissions/dialog/animations?

god fuck no that’s extra content i could scarf down r u kidding

25. Opinions on the fandom?

i haven’t really mingled much with the fandom to really have an opinion on it – i remember when i was a kid it was really wild and people feared having the homestucks show up, but the people in the fandom seem to have calmed down, and i can fuck with that, so i tease the idea of mingling in. i probably won’t tho, i’ll prolly just stay on the fringes of it hangin in my own space.

26. Opinions on the comic?

get ready

the comic … is honestly, i mean considering it literature, the best piece i’ve ever read? the characters are all really diverse in their views and thoughts, every one of them have different aspects to them that make them unique (john being very aloof when he wants to be, dave’s rambles, rose’s entire personality aside from her interest in psychology, etc.), and they’re memorable in whatever they do. they have their own quirks, their interests, their morals and – i really like how the characters are into genuinely bad things. it’s not like “oh yeah this character likes x and x,” and the things they’re into are neutral or good in nature, it’ll be like, “oh yeah this character actually loves horrendously terrible movies,” and i can appreciate that.

that, and i like how they’re unaffected by “purity culture” – in a lot of media i see today, all of the characters are usually mad acceptable, but homestuck doesn’t really do that. like fuck, take caliborn and doc scratch, they’re hella problematic but i like that – having characters that aren’t acceptable, whose actions are…disgusting, really, but still portray them without having to spoonfeed the reader that they’re not okay. i think a lotta shit i see nowadays misses out by not having characters that have gross views and actions like those two.

i also really like how complex it is. like you get media that shows video games like sao (which don’t even get me started), and they’re…lacking, they’re not like how a real life game would be with all the little events within its code and all the sidequests and yada yada yada. they feel bland. but with homestuck, it’s rich, it’s interesting, there’s always something going on (and it’s limited in time). that and it’s concepts – the way it does its own version of rpg classes, its perma-death aspect, how the players can vastly change things with small actions in a butterfly effect, things like that.

i could go on, but i just really like the worldbuilding, characters, and story, it’s rlly good

27. Do you favor the trolls, humans, or carapaces?

i think i like the trolls the most, but the humans are a close second!

28. Favorite moment of all of homestuck?

either the penis ouija scene, [s] collide, or [s] game over

29. Least favorite moment of all of homestuck?

whenever there was a hiatus

but beside that, tbh there’s rlly no moment in the comic that i disliked!

30. Tell us a homestuck based story.

one time, i tried doing a fanventure.

i’m gonna stop that story there because it was embarrassing and i was an overexcited 15 year old.

31. How homestuck related is your blog?

not really? i reblog quite a bit of hs related content, but otherwise it’s just kinda here and there y’know

#sanswers;;#carlthetitan

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queen-of-the-crows · 6 years

Text

11 Questions Tag

Okay so I was tagged by like 5 different people and I'm just gonna answer all in one post cause that's the easiest way to do it. Huge thank you to all my loves who tagged me in this @annorarutherford @heraldofwho @sassylavellen @enchantment1385 (twice :P) @elevanetheirin :)

Buckle up cause this is gonna be a long ride!

@annorarutherford questions

1. Biggest fear? Feeling like I've done nothing with my life and that I've been a failure

2. Favorite flower/plant? I'm not a nature person, that's just not my thing but a black rose

3. Are you close to your family? Sorta, some of them anyway, depends on alot honestly

4. Your deepest wish? Not to be rich but to be able to pay all my bills and still have a good amount of money left over to save and buy fun stuff

5. What's something that always calms you? No one thing always works, it depends on why I'm not calm. Video games work often, some times reading, sometimes writing, sometimes drinking

6. Some movies you love? Love this question! Jaws, Jurassic Park series, Alien series, Beauty and the Beast, Dracula, The Crow, and many others

7. Guilty pleasure song? I'm not really ashamed of anything I listen to but alot of people judge me for loving Fall Out Boy so I'll say anything by them, I have an entire playlist

8. Favorite weird smell? Professional hair color, I fucking love it. Also the green soap they use in tattoo shops

9. Game that has changed your life and how? Dragon Age. It introduced me to my love of gaming and are me fall in love with Thedas and the characters

10. Someone(s) on Tumblr you really admire/like? All my usual lovelies of course @annorarutherford @a-shakespearean-in-paris @sassylavellen @enchantment1385 @aban-asaara @heraldofwho also love seeing posts from @jawsandbones @andrastini @fyeahfenrisxfhawke @laraslandlockedblues @nevertrustamage and others

11. Worst personality traits someone can have? Always down on themselves, put down everyone around them, bad hygiene! (Not a personality trait but seriously bathe), being insanely cocky and thinking they can get whoever they want

@heraldofwho questions

1. When you get butterflies in your stomach what color are they? Blues and purples

2. If spiders could talk what would their voices sound like? I think they'd sound alot like Flemeth

3. How do you like your coffee or tea? In the trash lol I hate them both

4. If you could learn any language instantly, which one would you choose? Oh man, there's so many cool ones. Probably Russian, I love the sound of it

5. If they made a DA/ME film or series about YOUR protagonist- which OC would you choose and who should play them? Oh shit, I love them all so much!!! Probably Clea cause I think her and Zevran's story would be the most interesting. I would cast Megan Fox as Clea, she's my face claim for her and she plays a pretty good badass.

6. What change the nature of a person? Anything really depending on the person, death seems to be a big one, break ups, being broken

7. What musical instrument do you play? What instrument would you like to learn? I play piano and I sing. I'd like to have a piano so I can practice more but I wanna learn guitar also

8. Pick any aspect of your life or personality and choose a theme song for it. You Call Me A Bitch Like Its A Bad Thing by Halestorm because I'm very much fuck you and your opinions of me, i don't find being called a bitch insulting

9. Can you cook or bake? What's your speciality? I love baking and I can cook too. Cakes are my favorite thing to make

10. Got any dead crushes? Heath Ledger, Brandon Lee, Paul Walker, and Gary Oldman (I mean him in Dracula is to die for)

11. What is your quirkiest hobby or interest? I don't have many so probably writing fanfic

@sassylavellen questions

1. Do you have a favorite soundtrack from a movie or video game? Oh yes, Queen of the Damned. Best soundtrack ever created

2. What was the first video game you remember playing? Either Super Smash Bros or Mario Kart way back on Game Cube

3. If you could have any kind of food right now what would it be? Chocolate cake or Panda Express, maybe both

4. Are you a good cook? Oh yes

5. Do you have or want any exotic pets? I would love to have an iguana. Snakes are cool too

6. What fictional character would you love to be friends with? Oh so many, strictly friends with no somatic interest: Dorian, Varric, Cassandra, Shale, Charlie from Supernatural, The Doctor, Lisbeth Salandar, and Scout Harding

7. If you could have any superpower what would it be? Telekinesis and mind control

8. What movie could you watch and enjoy every single time? So many. Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, and Big Hero 6 are probably my tops though

9. Favorite color combinations? Black crimson and white, black grey and blue, black and deep purple, basically dark combinations

10. When you play games do you use armor sets that have good stats but looks bad or armor that looks good with bad stats? Definitely looks good with bad stats but I keep the ugly with good stats to change into for particularly challenging encounters. I love the story aspect of games and put so much time into my characters I like them to look good

11. Favorite genre of music? Rock and metal. KoRn and Rob Zombie are my absolute favorites if that helps explain it

@enchantment1385 first set of questions

1. Favorite fandom and why? Dragon Age. Best game series ever, the characters, the play through, the environment, the choices, the romance. And the people I interact with here are amazing

2. What's your Pokemon team? I played Black 2 so my favorite team was Zoroark, Arcanine, Banette, Lapras, Hydreigon, and Virizion

3. Favorite team in Dragon Age or Mass Effect? Depends on my class honestly but my favorite is dual weapon rogue so I'll answer for that. Origins- Alistair, Morrigan, either Shale or Zevran. DA2- Fenris, Aveline, either Varric or Anders or Merrill. Inquisition- Cassandra, Dorian, either Cole or Iron Bull

4. Favorite nonBioware game? Dishonored

5. OTP? Alistair and Cousland, Zevran and Mahariel, Fenris and Hawke, Cullen and Lavellan. None DA OTPs Mulder and Scully, Elizabeth Swan and Will Turner, Emma Swan and Captain Hook, Rose Tyler and the 10th Doctor

6. What is your guilty pleasure? I really don't have one that I know. Reading smutty fan fic maybe?

7. A food you can't get enough of? Cheese pizza, mac and cheese, spaghetti

8. What can you see right now? I'm in class so classroom stuff

9. Something I don't know about you? Alot. I'm coloring my hair white, I have a huge Fenris and femhawke in progress back piece, I'm in cosmetology school, I have a tattoo appointment with Sarah Miller

10. Most loved OC and why? As hard as it to choose between all my loves, I choose Clea. She's the most like me or rather I see the most of myself in her and that was an accident. I love her attitude, her sarcasm, her badassness, her relationship with Zevran, her goals, how she carries herself and how she just is.

11. What song is stuck in your head right now? Hold Me Tight Or Don't by Fall Out Boy

@enchantment1385 second set of questions

1. What does your name mean? Do you think the meaning is anything like you? Like our usernames? Queen of the Crows is a reference to Clea who takes over the Antivan Crows with Zevran and they do some reforming of the guild. She's one of the leaders so she's the queen of the Antivan Crows, hence queen of the Crows. Is that anything like me? Well I mean she's my OC and I'm alot like her so I would hope to be that badass if I was in Thedas.

2. First celebrity crush? Max Thieriot, he's still good looking too

3. If you could live in one fictional world, which one would you choose and why? Come on love, guess :P lol definitely Thedas. Learn archery and dual wield, find one of my favorite romances and fall in love. Oh yes! Second choice would be Westoros provided I could be with Jon Snow of course

4. Why did the chicken cross the road? His life bored him and he needed change

5. You can have one superpower, what do you choose? Answered this already but since this says only 1 I choose telekinesis

6. Biggest pet peeve? When people can't do simple things

7. 1 fictional character you would meet for a day if you could? Hmmmm I wanna meet alot. If I only have a day I think I'd choose Iron Bull, I'd be in for an adventure all day

8. First game you ever completed? Dishonored

9. Which class in game do you enjoy playing the most? Definitely rogue. Idk what it is but I love rogues especially dual weapon although I've recently gotten into playing archery as well

10. Favorite fictional villain and why? I love Maleficient. She turns into a fucking Dragon and is bitter for not being invited to a party. And the movie really goes into depth about how she became how she was and it shows that good people can be broken so badly they become bitter heartless and evil

11. Creepiest experience? I'm not really sure, I try to avoid that sort of thing. I've been hit on by creepy weirdos though

@elevanetheirin questions

1. Coffee or tea? I hate them both. I'm a soda junkie though and love energy drinks

2. What is your favorite book or book series? I have a few. Dracula (this is my all time favorite), A Song of Ice and Fire by George R R Martin (aka GoT series), Millennium series by Stieg Larsson (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, and The Meg series by Steve Alten

3. Do you have a hidden talent? Most people don't know I can play piano

4. Who is your favorite author? George R R Martin, Steve Alten, Michael Crichton, Ellen Hopkins, Stieg Larsson

5. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip, I know I'm boring

6. Brotp? Varric and Hawke, Sara Lance and Mick Rory, Meredith Grey and Alex Kerev, Sherlock and Watson, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner

7. Did you have a nickname in school? I've never really had a nickname ever. My love in high school called me his muse cause he's an artist. Lots of classmates called me that weird goth girl cause I was always quiet, very smart, read for fun, and was goth.

8. Do you have resting bitch face? Oh fuck yes I do haha I love it though

9. What makes you smile? Alot. My stupid cats, my boyfriend, my favorite shows and movies, funny gaming videos, video games, reading, SLEEP, FOOD

10. What one thing do you like most about yourself? The fact that I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks about me. Looks wise probably my eyes

11. The best part of your day yesterday? Getting paid so I had money for chicken nuggets

Finished them all!!!! My 11 questions

1. If you could switch places with one fictional character who would it be and why? (Besides your OCs)

2. If you could choose one fictional character to be your love interest forever who would it be and why?

3. Least favorite video game you've ever played?

4. How did you get introduced into the Dragon Age fandom?

5. Which of your OCs is the most like you and how?

6. If you could only watch one genre of movie for the rest of your life which one would you choose?

7. One tattoo you plan on getting someday?

8. Xbox, PlayStation, or PC?

9. Do you have any exes you would take back if they ever asked?

10. Favorite quest in the Dragon Age series?

11. Favorite ship or OTP?

I'm not tagging anyone cause most you already tagged me but if you wanna answer my questions then go for it!

#get to know queen of the crows #queen of the crows writes #tag meme

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lovewavesxx · 7 years

Photo

Love Waves – EP 9 – Pink Pillows

October 16, 2017

“A few thoughts from Pink Pillows. –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/6iBQ8u16X0qim0ypl7Yb48

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-9-pink-pillows/idpl.u-55D6lDlHx9Xkmj

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRRItkk7C4ZD6enbIpcYm-Iz

This week’s playlist flow is ridic (ulous, if you must be lame and make me spell the whole word instead of attempting to be hip). Leave yo shuffle off bb.

1. mansionz – Wicked (feat. G-Eazy)

2. The 1975 – Girls

3. Rihanna – You da One

4. Kiiara – Wishlist

5. Travis Scott – Butterfly Effect

6. Ghosted – Get Some (feat. Kamille)

7. Neon Trees – Sleeping With a Friend

8. Marty Grimes – Make It Back

9. Marc E. Bassy – Plot Twist (feat. Kyle)

10. Lauv – Reforget

11. Humble the Poet – H.A.I.R.

12. Daniel Caesar – Take Me Away (feat. Syd)

13. Halsey – Bad at Love

14. Julia Michaels – Issues (Alan Walker Remix)

15. Prince Fox – I Don’t Wanna Love You (feat. Melody Noel) [Adam York Remix]

16. Khalil – No Coincidence

17. Jhené Aiko – OLLA (Only Lovers Left Alive) [feat. TWENTY88]

******I NEED YOUR HELP WITH LOVE WAVES EP 10!!! AS A WAY TO CELEBRATE MAKING IT THIS FAR I WANT THE 10TH EPISODE TO BE ONLY MUSIC FROM OTHER PEOPLE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SEND ME THE NAME OF A SONG OR SONGS WITH THE ARTIST’S NAME VIA ANYWAY POSSIBLE, OR BY CLICKING THIS PARAGRAPH, AND SUBMITTING YOUR SONG. I WILL TAKE ALL THE MUSIC I COLLECT FROM PEOPLE TO CREATE EP 10’S FLOW. IF YOU’D LIKE, YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR SUBMISSION, AND I WILL PUT YOUR NAME IN EP 10’S POST AS WELL SO YOU GET CREDIT! THIS IS JUST MY WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING LOVE WAVES AND HOPEFULLY GETTING PEOPLE INVOLVED IN SHARING SOME GOOD SHT! xx.******

https://ericajones10.sarahah.com/

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Also, if you have a Spotify or Apple Music account I would love to follow you and most likely creep on your playlists. Somehow get me your profile link, send me a playlist, or let me know your username. Click here for my Spotify profile Click here for my Apple Music profile

Playlist Description:

Some of my best thoughts come while my head is lying on my pink pillow. Some of my worst thoughts come while my head is lying on my pink pillow. Everything in between is noise, but to be honest, it’s all just noise.

I never really thought much about how an inanimate object could be privy to some of the most important moments in my reality or just in my mind—those moments alone or sometimes with another person.

While in college some of my favorite times were when my closest friends and I were just laying in my room talking about everything, and nothing, while listening to music. They’d be on my bed and I’d be lying on the ground staring at my ceiling fan or on my futon. At times these positions varied, but you get the point.

There were nights I’d shove my face in that pink pillow to cry. There were times I’d hug that pink pillow wishing it was a human body, but it was 1:34 in the morning, and a pillow is what was closest to me. There were days I would pull myself out of bed to go to work and class and when I would return to my room that pink pillow was the first thing I’d see upon arrival.

Some of my best words have been inspired at times my head was on that pink pillow. Some of the best scenarios my head has created were while it was on that pink pillow. I see myself in different situations and places, sometimes alone and sometimes not, while lying on that pink pillow. (I don’t really know what to call the things I write because in my head they sound like songs and I don’t know if they’re considered poetry so I usually just call them words.)

This playlist stems from all of the hours I’ve spent thinking about what I have done, would’ve done differently, hope to do, and will actually do. I think a lot about my own future and where or what I’d like to do, and I also tend to think a lot about who I have or want to be by my side during those moments.

I think a lot about the people I care for and love. I think about the moments that have passed by and tasted so sweet, but I didn’t realize how precious they were. I think about the lines on my friends’ and family’s faces as their eyes lit up while they smiled or laughed too hard at something dumb I said or did. I think about what it felt like while we hugged. Where were your hands? Were your eyes closed like mine were? I didn’t want to let go, but I did. Did I hold on too long? Oh well, it’s over now. I hope I get to hold you again, but I just don’t know anymore. At times, I wonder if my effort or feelings will ever be returned, but it’s been long enough I think. People usually move on by now. “He didn’t seem excited to see you.” What’s wrong with me? Do you love me? Will you ever grow to love me? Am I wasting my time? Are you wasting your time? I think you forgot about me again. I fucked up. Have you fucked up? Would you tell me again if you did? Should I tell you I did? Would it hurt you? Would you even care? Probably not. Will we ever really talk again? I mean really talk again. Like we did on FaceTime that one day I didn’t know you were going to say anything. I thought about telling you I loved you about 80 billion times, but I didn’t. I’ve known since December, but it can wait. It’ll fade. I’m sure of it. You’ll fade. I’m sure of it. That was still a great moment with you. I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore. I’m kind of scared right now. This sht wasn’t supposed to happen, and what if I fall in love with him? I’m so scared right now. I don’t know how to be cool. To play this cool. I just need to find a distraction from this distraction. I need to stop thinking about this right now. Next paragraph.

My pink pillow has been the resting place for much of the good and bad that is in my life. That’s crazy to think about, right?! It’s just a freakin’ pillow. Yet, at the same time it is a constant in the evolution of who I have been, currently am, and strive to become.

Yoo this is was some overthinking sht at it’s finest. :)

Song Explanations:

Wicked by Mansionz featuring G was actually not one of my favorite songs from their album for the longest time. There’s this line G says and it just would make me feel upset and so I dismissed the whole song. I didn’t want to listen to it. Recently, I’ve really started liking this song. I also feel kind of bad because in some ways I am very much like that girl they are singing about. I’m sorry in advance. I hate me too. :)

THE 1975 IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BAND. It takes a lot of effort for me to not put them in most Love Waves playlists. I think Girls fits perfectly with the theme and flow of this week’s comp sooooo in it went. SUCH a tune.

Wishlist is a song Kiiara literally just released a few days ago. My favorite line is, “I’ll pour the gasoline on your halo.” I’d say I am an angel or positive with good behavior about 98% of the time, but that 2% can be dangerous. It gets more dangerous when I’m with someone equally mischievous. It’s like we feed off of each other’s energy and actions.

Get Some by Ghosted featuring Kamille is a song my friend Adam sent me weeks ago. It sounds all innocent and dancy until you actually listen to the words and you’re like, “Wut tha actual phuq?” It cracks me up, but it also fits the theme. I also highly recommend the music video because you would think it’s going to be a certain way BUT the entire video is not at all what I expected.

Click here to watch the official music video for Get Some by Ghosted

Ayyyy Marty Grimes with the new release titled Cold Pizza. Make It Back is my favorite song right now off of that album. “Seeing things without you ain’t the same.” There are times in my life I wish I had you by my side. Your presence would make this song better, it would make the lighting look better, it would make these breaths I’m taking taste better, it would make me feel better, but sometimes that’s life. You learn to deal with all the moments that will never be.

Plot Twist by Marc E. Bassy featuring Kyle came out a few months ago, but Marc just released his new album Gossip Columns. Go listen to that sht. Anyways, this song is in here because things happen and all of a sudden there’s a completely unexpected plot twist that happens in your life. Like, right now I can’t tell if mine is good or bad yet and that uncertainty is scaring the living sht out of me at the moment.

“I go out just so I can reforget.” I think Lauv’s song is fairly universal for anyone going through a type of separation from someone in life. I see it all the time when people break up. Newly single people are either too heartbroken to do anything OR they go out and do everything. I completely understand what it’s like to feel and act both ways unfortunately.

Click here to read the lyrics for Reforget by Lauv

I stumbled..across Humble *pause so for intended rhyme to be acknowledged* the poet accidently a few weeks ago, but his song H.A.I.R. is extremely dope and the production feels really original to me. I like his lyrics too.

Brooooooo Take Me Away makes me feel like I’m a feather gently gliding down through the atmosphere and landing on a really brightly scenic area near a beach or maybe in a valley full of different flowers padding the space between two hills during sunset. I really like Syd’s sound too. It’s so feely and jazzy and wonderful. Lyrics and vibe on point bb.

Bad at Love. Retweet.

No Coincidence is nowhere to be found on Spotify and that kind of irked me because it makes the flow on that platform slightly different. This song makes me think about the differences between something or someone being a part of your life by coincidence or by putting effort towards something. You used to be a coincidence, and something that was just there by fate, but now you’re just effort. It’s not easy going anymore. That fact makes me really really think about whether all of that effort is taking away the possibility of something better and less forced being a part of my life. I don’t know. Then again we’re the masters sticking it out during our phases. That’s just something I thought about while writing this.

Click here to listen to No Coincidence by Khalil on YouTube

OLLA by Jhené is off of her album Trip. That project is a lot to digest because it’s a double album, but I do highly suggest you give it a listen and also watch the twenty minute film she made to go along with the album. It’s such a unique plotline and executed so well. I like that this song makes me feel like I’m in a disco surrounded by light brown bellbottoms, and pastel tie-dyed clothing, and lights flashing everywhere gently, and everyone seems really at peace, and in the moment together. I see smoke in the air, but I think we both know it’s probably not a fog machine. That’s what I see and feel in my head when I hear this song.

Right now I feel really tapped out from writing and thinking about all of this. Imma just end it now.

Love,

-E xx.

p.s. Don’t forget to participate in EP 10 by clicking here to leave me some music! :)

#comp playlist #marty grimes #marc e bassy #jhene aiko #the 1975 #mansionz #g eazy #neon trees #ghosted #kiiara #daniel caesar #halsey #lauv #rihanna #travis scott

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