#hey if you’re anti-choice get the fuck off my blog
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Hey I have a question for you. I grew up in a city with high Black and Latino population, I myself am Latino. I have a group of non-ethnic white friends that I absolutely love, however, they are constantly using AAVE and it bothers me to no end. Mind you, my friends grew up in suburbs and had somewhat cushiony lives. So my question to you is how do I bring this up “lightly”? I don’t want to hurt their feelings but at the same time I’m like fuck that.
Also do you have any videos you might recommend on the matter? I am a big fan of your blog and I love the different perspectives you bring to light.
Have a good one!
- S.H.
Hey! That’s a tough one for me because I’ve never really been in that situation before (not because I don’t have any white friends, but because fortunately the ones I’ve had haven’t acted that way). I’m not certain that there’s a completely “light” way to broach the subject, and even if I could think of such a way, I’m not sure that I’d suggest that approach.
They’re your friends, and I get that, so I’m not saying to beat the snot outta them, but if it makes YOU uncomfortable, then maybe they deserve to experience what uncomfortable feels like too.
Sometimes, feeling our anger/pain is a part of learning. I am not one of those Black people who believes in a lot of gentle handholding with white people where racism is involved. If I were a tad bit more cynical—and I’m not, yet—then I’d say that this is the Information Age, where almost anything you want to know is at your fingertips; and many many Black people have been writing about this far longer and far better than I have, so some white people are either consciously or unconsciously making a choice to remain ignorant on this topic.
Look, one of the BIG problems America has in taking on racism is that people always tend to place white fragility ahead of the harm and discomfort that their racism causes—that is completely backwards. If they are really friends and truly good white people™ then you should be able to speak relatively freely with them, and a good friendship should be able to withstand some blunt honesty, right?
Sometimes our real friends need our directness
Offhand, I don’t have any videos that I can think of to help, but if you go to my blog’s homepage (not just the tumblr version) and use the search feature there (upper left hand corner), search for “AAVE” or “aversive racism” or “vocal black face” or “casual racism,” you might find something helpful. SN: I cannot access the desktop version of tumblr anymore, so I apologize in advance for broken links in my music player - I can’t fix them.
And I *almost* feel like I should apologize for this last part, but sadly whenever I couldn’t make this point to someone online, it always worked once I said something like, “would you be comfortable doing the same thing if it was homophobic jokes?” Idk why it takes going there sometimes …. it’s almost like some white people cannot “get” anti-Blackness until & unless you equate it to homophobia (and even then, it’s still a Herculean effort to get them to understand that Black Lgbtq people are an actual thing that exist too, and usually have it even worse).
This is important. Don’t downplay it to make them comfortable. If they’re good friends, they’ll hear you. And if not, then you’re better off without them.
If you’re a follower or a mutual reading this and you have any resources that might help, please feel free to add to this post.
Anyway, I’m about to finish my workday, so this wasn’t as comprehensive an answer as I would liked to have given. I’m sorry if this wasn’t helpful.
Good luck!
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Hey, i love your blog and reading your thoughts on all things Buddie and there’s something i would love to have your input on. I don’t know if you saw posts like this, too, but there is an ongoing trend of people stating that there are two ways the show can go on with this, and that’s 1) keep on developing Buck and Eddie’s relationship (essentially leading to them becoming canon) or 2) untangle and distance them from each other and build up other love interests as the most important person in their life, leaving their friendship to be only referred to and rarely shown. And while i absolutely get where they are coming from and have seen mainstream tv taking that second path many times (don’t expect it from 911 though, i have faith in those writers)i think it’s simply not true that these are the only ways to write Buck and Eddie’s relationship going forward.
It absolutely is possible to keep their relationship as it is and still write different love interests for them. There will be less scenes with them together and I sure won’t fucking like it, but there is no need to have them become less important to each other. I hate that so many people seem to be not only of the impression that the most important person in someone’s life always HAS to be the romantic partner, but also that this place can’t be shared with someone else, like a best friend or some other platonically beloved person. I hate that people seem to be convinced that this is some kind of popularity contest that the love interest wins by default and that getting in a relationship with someone automatically makes your bond with others less important, automatically makes you invest less in those relationships. Not saying that that can’t happen, it sadly does quite often, but in 98% of those cases it’s because of a severe lack of trying from one party. It’s truly not in the nature of friendships that they deteriorate when not the sole focus of a person, you just have to be willing to put a little work in.
Anyway, rant over, would love to hear your thoughts on that matter.
hi, nonnie! first off, i'm so glad you like my blog and want my input on this! i do have a lot of thoughts on this, so here we go!
i have seen these takes going around, and while i don't necessarily disagree with them, i do agree with what you're saying. i don't know if buddie will go canon, but even if they don't, i highly doubt the show will shove their relationship to the side to prop up their new love interests. because look. the show has had every—and i mean every opportunity to take a step back from them since s2. they could've kept them at the place they were in the s2 finale, cute and shippable but not necessarily something fans would get invested in. they did not have to go as hard as they did with the tsunami and lawsuit arc. they didn't have to take every opportunity possible to cement them in each others' lives. these were all conscious choices, and this relationship is clearly too important to the writers to throw away just because both of them have new love interests. putting the rest under a cut:
onto your main point, while i don't really care for buddie staying platonic since they don't behave like other platonic relationships on the show and we have enough of that in media already, if they were to stay completely platonic, i don't see their relationship being diminished or undervalued by the writers and idk why people think that. it's like you said, just because you enter into a romantic relationship with someone else, doesn't mean your friends become less important. platonic love is only a different sort of love, not a lesser form. the writers have put way too much work into developing the buckley-diaz family unit, at the expense of buck and eddie's respective love interests, for them to suddenly sideline them completely in s5, regardless of whether they stay platonic or not. eddie was dating ana for about half a season and his relationship with buck never wavered, it only got stronger even. a bunch of the big buckxtaylor moments were overshadowed by buddie completely. whether you want to read buddie as platonic or not, their relationship with each other isn't gonna become any less important just because they have different love interests (who are side characters to boot, and won't even get as much screentime as either of them do. and this is assuming ana even shows up next season.)
It’s truly not in the nature of friendships that they deteriorate when not the sole focus of a person, you just have to be willing to put a little work in. this is so true, and in buck and eddie's case, both of them have always put a lot of hard work into their relationship and fought for it, in one way or the other. it hasn't been all sunshine and roses (contrast that to eddie's it's easy being with her in reference to ana). they're definitely not gonna forget about each other just because they're dating other people, especially in light of the finale.
i think a lot of this thinking ultimately boils down to heteronormativity. people are quick to assume that the m/f ship will automatically 'win' and receive better treatment than the bond between these two men, whether these people are buddie shippers or antis. people were (and still are) so hesitant to refer to buck, eddie and chris as a familial unit, but instantly jumped on the bandwagon after a couple of cute scenes with eddie, ana and chris. and i'm not trying to dunk on anybody—everybody is entitled to their own opinion and i respect that—it's just that its very telling that two men can go through so much together, form an unbreakable bond over three whole seasons, be completely devoted to each other, form a sort of a family unit along with one of their's son, have the other one who's not a parent yet even so fill in a parental sort of role, and people will still insist that seeing anything more is delusional, while automatically accepting that two women who have been on the show for about 6 episodes are gonna be there indefinitely and that the m/f ships are definitely endgame, and the bond between these two men will be sidelined in favor of that. it's all a very black and white sort of thinking, people need to understand that the story is deeper than that.
thank you for sharing your thoughts, nonnie!
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Colorful Fish
Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader
Word Count: 2.7k
Warnings: a bit angst, deals with religious trauma and abortions
A/n: Ok so I strated this a while ago when @coffee--writes gave me a song to write a fic about, the song hinted at helping a girl who had very religious parents andgot pregnant so here is this fic.
Important notice: This deals with religious trauma and some hard-core Catholic beliefs, if that makes you uncomfortable don't read it. Also if you are anti-choice first get tf off my blog, second this deals with abortion it will probably make you uncomfy
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Pain was something everyone lived with. It was scrapes on your knees and cuts in your fingers. It was priced for ears and breakups. Pain kept us alive, it kept us breathing. It told us to eat, to not touch this, or be careful around that.
That's why the numbness was so terrifying.
You wanted to cry but the just tears wouldn't come so your eyes were dry, lids heavy. You didn't feel the ache in your back from the position you had pulled yourself into, the hard tile of the bathroom wall going unnoticed.
You felt like you had been thrust into some sort of thick fog. Your movements were slow and heavy, the rising and falling of your chest happening in half speed.
Your fingers shook as you fumbled with your phone, you typed in your password twice, both times your phone vibrated telling you to try again. You dropped it to the floor where it landed too loudly.
Suddenly you felt sick again, your stomach churning, throwing a fit as you pushed yourself forward, one hand gathering your hair to keep it from your face as the other clutched the cool porcine of the toilet.
You vomited twice, heaving for breaths before letting your head fall back to the wall again.
You stretched to reach the handle flushing the tainted water. You tried your phone again finally opening it on the fourth try and found the desired contact at the top of your recents. You pressed call holding the device to your ear.
A gravelly voice picked up on the third ring.
"Princess do you have any idea what time it is?" Sirius asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his spare hand.
You tried to speak your head feeling far away.
Sirius paused another moment, "Baby are you okay?"
"I'm pregnant." your voice was hollow.
The line dropped, nothing but silence responding.
Sirius felt his heart fall into his stomach "I'm sorry, what?"
You sighed, your mouth still thick with bile, "I'm pregnant." you repeated.
It was quiet for a while, the small sounds of Sirius's breaths the only thing telling you he hadn't hung up.
"Well what do you want to do?" he finally asked, bewilderment stinging his tone.
You paused squeezing your eyes shut, teeth gritted, "I don't fucking know." you finally responded, "I just threw up like four times and I'm exhausted. All I want to do right now is sleep."
"Then do that." Sirius replied, "Do you want me to come over?"
You shook your head, "No, my mom already hates you enough she would throw a fit if she found you in my bed."
Sirius licked his lips hand running through his hair "Okay, I'll talk to you in a few hours. Sleep well."
"Bye Siri," you mumbled.
"I love you princess."
"Love you too."
He was gone with a click.
You pulled yourself to your feet by the edge of your sink, pushed open the door slowly, and padded to your bedroom. You fell asleep only minutes after your head hit the pillow.
You had never had too much of a problem growing up Catholic. The sure church was boring and prayers could be a pain but it hadn't had that much of an effect on your life until you grew older.
Your first boyfriend had shown you the ugly colors your mother painted your religion with.
At fifteen you were sat down and told you would be going to hell if you did anything more than kiss the young boy you were with.
At sixteen you were told not to be friends with that girl because she was a queer and not that boy because he never went to church.
By seventeen you lived in fear of your mother and her God. Your respect for both deteriorating as you realized that God wasn’t nearly as kind as everyone else seemed to believe he was. Crosses started to look like knives as you struggled to figure out what the hell you were supposed to be.
When you met Sirius- a long-haired pagan with a pentagram tattooed on his ankle everything changed. He made things easy, he told you to believe what you wanted to, not what you were told. So you did.
But that didn’t change the whispers of your neighbors and the hatred in your mother’s eyes when Sirius picked you up.
Your mother had begged you to break things off with Sirius more times than you could count on one hand. It was one of the few things you didn’t let her convince you to do. Her words were sweet but the aftertaste was always bitter.
So instead she ignored his existence, pretending you were single as she shoved your neighbor’s son's down your throat. You learned to live with it just as she learned to turn a blind eye to the roar of your boyfriend’s motorcycle.
Out of all the ways you expected to wake a shrill scream was not one. Your heart launched and you popped upwards just as your mother slammed your door open. Its knob hit your wall so hard she would find chipped paint behind it later that night.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” You asked in a mild panic half expecting Micheal Myers to come crashing in after her.
But no one followed and instead, she stared at you in a way you had never seen before, her eyes narrowed her mouth in a tight scowl that reminded you of cracked leather, “You little slut.” she hissed.
Your eyes widened, “Mom?”
“You whore!” She shrieked and you flinched, knees coming to your chest, “I always knew you would embarrass our family like this.”
Your vision blurred, “What are you talking about?”
The pregnancy test hit you in the cheek hard enough to sting and your stomach churned.
“Get out.” your mother snarled.
“Mom, I swear I never meant for you to find out.” You whimpered.
She stiffened, “So you were just gonna kill the baby then?”
You weren’t sure how to respond.
“I will not have any sluts in my house let alone murders.” She heaved, “Call your satanist boyfriend and get out of my house.” With that, she turned on her heels and slammed your door shut behind her.
Sirius woke to the sound of his phone ringing again, he groaned, his eyes opening slowly as he tried to process the bright world around him. His phone was on its last ring when he finally picked up.
“Hey y/n/n what's-” He stopped as a broken sob met him.
You spoke no actual words, only nonsense cut by sniffles and whimpers.
Sirius was shocked awake already out of bed, phone pressed to his ear by his shoulder. “Baby, I need you to calm down.” He spoke slowly, “What’s going on, where are you?”
“I-I,” another sob, “She kicked me out Siri.” you cried.
“What? Who? Your mom?” He asked, trying to wrap his mind around what was going on.
You nodded only realizing he couldn’t hear you a couple of seconds after, “Yeah, She-” You hiccuped, “She found the pregnancy test a-and,” You broke into sobs again.
Sirius stopped in his tracks. Right. You’re pregnant, “I'll be there in ten minutes okay?”
You nodded again, “Okay.”
“Do you want me to stay on the line?” Sirius asked as he attempted to put jeans on with one hand.
“No, it's not safe to dive on the phone.” You croaked, “I gotta pack anyway.”
“Okay, I love you y/n.”
“Love you too.”
The line clicked and Sirius swore throwing his phone onto his unmade bed just go pick it up again and call Remus.
His friend picked up after two rings, “Jeez Sirius did someone die? You’re never up this early.”
Sirius wished he found that funny, “Y/n’s pregnant.”
Silence greeted him back, “You’re kidding.”
“I really wish I was,” He sighed, “Her bitch mother found out and kicked her out too.”
A pause, “Oh shit.”
“Yeah. Look I’ve gotta go pick her up but I’m gonna call you back later okay?”
”Got it.”
When the tears finally died the numbness came back like the effects of some sort of drug. You packed in silence shoving everything you could fit into a backpack you had from a trip you took in the 10th grade and a duffle bag, which still smelled like your field hockey socks.
The doorbell didn’t even ring, instead, you heard a shriek followed by heavy footsteps. Sirius entered your room and slammed your door on your mother who was chasing him down the hall.
Neither of you spoke as he drew you into a hug, your chin on his shoulder watching the door which never opened.
“You packed?” He asked and you nodded gesturing at the bags on your bed.
As you exited your room your mother just glared at you. You hung your head, tears landing on your sneakers.
Sirius felt his anger grow hot, it was never easy to tame and it roared loud in his ears. He stopped just inside the house watching as you descend the porch before turning to your mother who stared at him from the living room.
He scowled at her sneer, “Go fuck yourself, you bitch.” he spat, middle finger in the air.
You pretend nothing happened as you climbed onto his motorcycle tightening your backpack straps and whipping your tears.
You found yourself over Sirius’s toilet vomiting as you sobbed. He could do nothing but hold your hair away from your face and rub circles on your back, his own vision clouded by tears. You passed out not but twenty minutes later, crying yourself to sleep on his chest. After about an hour of watching you sleep, Sirius heard a knock on the door. He got up carefully, you didn’t even stir.
He opened the door to see Remus, his hands shoved into the pockets of his denim jacket. Sirius welcomed him in and he sat at the coffee table as Sirius got them each a beer.
“Is y/n here?” Remus asked.
“Yeah, she’s sleeping,” Sirius responded.
Remus nodded, taking note of the red tinge around his friend’s eyes, “Do you guys have any idea what you’re going to do?”
Sirius shook his head, “We haven’t even talked about it yet, when she got here she started throwing up and then passed out.”
Remus waited a moment, “Do you want to keep it?”
Sirius wasn’t surprised by the question, he had been asking himself the same for hours now, “I don’t fucking know, I mean, we’re nineteen, we haven’t even talked about marriage yet, let alone kids.” His thoughts swirled, “And I haven’t even spoken to my parents since I was sixteen and now her mom practically disowned her I mean,” He sighed, “I just don’t know.”
“Whatever you guys decide you know James, Lily, and I will be here for you,” Remus said patting Sirius on the shoulder.
He nodded, “I just can’t believe her mother kicked her out. I mean she’s her only daughter ya know and I just- I knew they hated me but I never thought she would do this to her.”
“Parents do terrible things Pads, you should know that.” Remus sighed.
“Yeah, but you should have seen the way her mother looked at her. It was like she had committed some unforgivable crime or something, it was like she actually hated her.”
“It’s cuz she does.” You murmured dully from the hallway.
Sirius froze and Remus shifted uncomfortably.
You gave them both a battered smile, “It’s fine, it’s not like I don’t know.”
“Y/n I-,”
“Really, it’s fine Sirius.” You said taking a seat beside him, “I’m over it.” That was a blatant lie.
The three of you talked about meaningless things for a while, the distraction feeling like a breath of fresh air amongst the garbage you had been shoved into. You ordered Chinese takeout offering for Remus to stay for dinner but he explained he had classes in the morning and should probably be studying.
The easy atmosphere only lasted for a bit after he left and by the time dinner had arrived you felt like crying again.
Finally, Sirius brought it up, “So what do you want to do?” he spoke solemnly.
You paused a shuddering sigh leaving your lips, “We can’t have a kid Sirius.”
“If you wanted to we could make it work.” Sirius countered.
“We can’t have one Siri.” You repeated.
“Listen y/n I could make it work, I would propose and-”
You scoffed.
Sirius furrowed his brows, “What?”
“Nothing.”
Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t slept even 5 hours the night before or maybe it was because he was stressed but for some reason that hurt, his thoughts spiraling, “You wouldn’t marry me?”
You looked confused, “What? I never said that.”
“You don’t have to.” He glared at you.
“What are you talking about Sirius?” You asked.
“I’m talking about the idea of me proposing to you being so laughable.” He snapped.
Your face contorted in anger, “First of all I didn’t laugh at you, second it’s ridiculous because we are NINETEEN!”
More hurt, his thoughts went darker, “So you are admitting you wouldn’t marry me?”
“Right now I wouldn’t.” you respond.
Your words stung, “Why not?”
“I just told you!” You yelled, “We’re too young!”
Sirius paused, you were right, you were too young, “You’re right I’m sorry.” he sighed, “I’m just kind of tired right now.”
“I know Siri,” You mumbled, “I am too.”
Silence fell as you both found yourself trying to pull together a piece of your sanity. The clock ticked and the wind shuddered the windows in their frames.
“I don’t want a kid Sirius.” You sighed, “I know you don’t either.”
He didn’t protest, you were right yet again.
“I’m going to go to the clinic tomorrow.” You spoke, “It’s definitely the best option.”
“What about your mom.” Sirius asked, “You know she would never forgive you.”
There was another moment of quiet, “I think I’m okay with that.” you spoke and you were telling the truth.
A strange sense of relief filled you as you sat in the clinic's parking lot, you were finally putting this behind you, your life could go somewhat back to normal. Except for the fact that you were going back to your house in two days when you knew your mom was gone to clean out your room of course. It felt good to be out of that house, the eggshells you were so used to walking on being replaced by Sirius hardwood floors and patterned rugs. Something about all of this felt right, like you had taken that leap and instead of hitting the harsh rock you expected, you hit warm water filled with colorful fish.
Your mother didn’t try to contact you for years, sometimes you forget she even existed. You kept yourself busy, finally deciding on a major for college and helping Lily and James with a wedding and then a child.
Living with Sirius was like a dream, sometimes when you got up early you would just watch him sleep, his hair always hanging in front of his eyes as he took slowed, heavy breaths. You taught him how to properly cook food, something he had been incapable of doing for far too long. You were truly happy for the first time in a while.
When you were twenty-two Sirius got on one knee and you could not have said yes faster. You were ready then.
Three weeks before the wedding you got a call from your mother. You damn near dropped the phone when you heard her voice. Part of you expected an apology the other part knew she was far too stubborn. And she was, you didn’t even listen to her lecture on how you were marrying a nobody, instead, you hung up and blocked the number.
You had the wedding in late spring, just before the flowers began to wilt and turn to leaves, Remus got himself ordained and you sealed it all with a kiss under a cherry tree. You and Sirius were okay with having no relatives at your wedding because while no blood of yours was in the audience your true family was and that was all that mattered.
Taglist:
@songforhema @wangmangagavroche @evyiione @atomicpunkrock @fairywriter-oracle @moon-zodiac @accio-rogers @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @obsessedwithrandomthings-deacti @coldlilheart @susceptible-but-siriusexual @inglorious-imagines
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Masterlist
#harry potter#harry potter imagines#harry potter au#harry potter imagine#sirius black x reader#harry potter x reader#marauders imagines#marauders au#hp marauders#harry potter marauders#sirius black imagines#sirius black x oc#sirius black#marauders imagine#marauders era#religous trauma
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hey - this is one of the mods of the bi jon project. we don't actually dislike or disagree with pan jon at all, we just want to make a project focused on and celebrating bisexuality. our carrd is a bit rambling, but frankly we were trying our best/overcompensating to try and make sure people didn't misunderstand us and do - well, this. our intentions are good, and it's really kind of disenheartening to see all the hate we've gotten for what was meant to be a positive project. (1)
you're under no obligation to answer these, but i saw some of your posts in the tag and felt like reaching out because you did give us even the tiniest bit of slack in good faith. honestly, if you have any advice about what in our carrd is so overwhelmingly bad, we'd be happy to hear it. we've been trying to respond to the overwhelming amount of criticism we've got in a positive way, and take peoples' suggestions. (2)
as for why 'no anti-antis' was at the bottom of our rules list, it's legitimately bc we were trying so hard to be preventative about this negativity that we forgot to add it when we first posted the blog, and just remembered later. again, you're under no obligation to answer these, i just feel like no one's really actually letting us defend ourselves/are taking things in as bad faith a way as possible. (3)
im not exactly sure how the posts showed up in the tag bc ive been very purposefully not tagging them, also ive blocked all of you back (not sure why you blocked me if you actually want feedback, so it seems more like you just want free positive pr and not actual feedback) so its unlikely youll see whatever it is that i reply to this but whatever.
the issues have all been repeatedly brought up to you so i dont really see how me repeating all of them once again could help. when i last looked at the cardd the things that stood out immediately included.
pitting ace & bi identities and people against each other REPEATEDLY,
starting off with a guilt trippy tone and maintaining it throughout (in my experience this is the #1 best way to receive backlash because people do not want to participate in events where you feel like youre being guilted into it, which going into scrutinizing detail over there not being enough content and passing judgement onto authors or artists over it is something that comes across as guilt trippy.),
repeatedly equating asexuality with sex repulsion (not to get into the misleading information about modteam aspec identity breakdowns, since you claimed that 3/4 of the team are aspec, which is technically correct, but what you didnt say was that only one is acespec. surely you know that [allosexual] aro and [alloromantic] ace are not interchangeable) and calling using biromantic over bisexual a “misunderstanding” of the identity as if how to define romantic vs sexual attraction (how to divide, if or if not to divide, use interchangeably different labels) isnt a deeply personal choice ace people who experience romantic attraction make,
claiming that bisexual jon is canon (he isn’t. this is why people are suspicious of anti-other mspec identities sentiments. which theyre right, if youll be so kind as to stick around til the last paragraph) and repeatedly implying that the reason there isnt “enough” content centering bi jon because the aces are simply unable to not fixate on his asexuality (again, pitting identities against each other),
making the banned ship list way needlessly confusing and including ships that dont even include jon to it, which simply comes across as some kind of a list of bad ships, idk. a way to bypass this would simply be to say “we are looking for portrayals of healthy relationships!” and that couldve just been it. if you felt that that wouldnt exclude specific ships (eg. jondaisy that a lot of people write as a relationship between trauma survivors who have done very bad things trying to get better and learning to trust each other) it is possible to simply say “the modteam is squicked[/triggered] by ships with daisy/elias/peter and we’d like to read all of the works submitted so we’re asking not to receive submissions with those ships.” hating ships is literally completely normal but making rules hard to parse is going to attract questions, especially when the implication is that ships are excluded on the grounds of morality, and a blatant power difference ship (jonelias) is equated with jondaisy, which is from what ive seen almost exclusively shown to be a relationship between equals. that makes people EXTREMELY confused about where the line is. thats why youre getting so many questions about this.
in general the carrd was spotty, guilt trippy, and needlessly moralizing where it definitely did not need to be. the key to getting people to engage without getting backlash is to make the event seem fun. when your carrd is filled with stuff about unrelated negative stuff people are not going to think it’s a fun event at all.
and none of this even gets into the fact that at least one of the mods has a history of open hostility against pan people. i heard through the grapevine that he has since made a fauxpology about it, but frankly it already shone through in the language used in the event descriptions. its extremely hard to take any of this is good faith when it is easy to see that one of the organizers is quite fucking clear about thinking pansexuality is biphobic and the carrd is or at least used to be full of anti-pan (and other mspec identity) dogwhistles, and is notorious in some of the tma fic author circles for being extremely fucking nasty about trans men writing fic he doesn’t like to the point of pretending that we’re all cis people (in case youre not keeping track that is misgendering us by implication) because he doesn’t like it. i think some of you (or maybe all of you? idk) in general could stand to examine whether your engagements and participations in the fandom have been at all about having fun or adding positivity to anything, or simply making posts about what other people are doing wrong. it seems that every post i see from anyone in this group is guilt trippy and authoritative, and sadly this translated directly into the event.
when youre, say, a trans man whose first touch to one of the mods was a post about how fic where trans men have piv sex with cis men is hurting him personally and making it a moral issue and not a matter of a simple preference to the point where he feels comfortable making claims about the trans men (and transmasc nonbinary people) writing fic about trans characters re: their gender or whether theyre fetishizing trans men, your willingness to engage in good faith with an event hosted by him that features numerous red flags is not going to be unconditional.
im sorry to hear that it has been bad for your mental health, and idk whats fucking going on with this event anymore, but my good faith interpretations have diminished significantly since i saw the shit tmc specifically has been saying about pansexual people and pansexuality as an identity label. i have no clue where the rest of you stand but tmc has repeatedly, consistently shown himself to be unable to act in good faith towards anyone other than people who agree with him.
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Rather be Me (than with You)
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Hey everyone. This is a kind of angsty ONE-SHOT; not the usual humor and fun I usual go for. I decided to do something a bit different. I experimented with the idea of a story where Lila doesn’t get exposed. Marinette just moves on. Decides she deserves better. This ISN’T a QUEEN MARI but Marinette does realize she’s a queen.
This is Anti-Class but not Lila bashing. I didn’t not to got the normal LILA BASHING everyone usually does. Don’t get me wrong, Lila Bashing is my favorite tag in this fandom. But I wanted to do something different. Tell me what you think and if you like it.
It had been a long time since Marinette had cared about their snickering; cared that sometimes she ate alone. Marinette hadn’t given a rat’s ass about what anyone in her damn class thought. She had been done for a long time.
A year had passed since Lila created the hurricane that pretty much turned Marinette’s life upside. A year since Alya had been her best friend, since Adrien was her crush. Since Ladybug’s partner was Chat Noir, a year since she was anyone’s everyday Ladybug.
These days the other students in class ignored her, and she was fine with it. The minute Marinette stepped back and decide to say, “Fuck Them.” Lila had left her alone. The Italian girl still side-eyed her every now and then but was content to let Marinette be. One thing Lila did right was that she saw Marinette exactly as she should be seen; an unbeatable threat, and one hell of pain in the neck if she tried hard enough. For a while, Lila was sure the Marinette would expose her, that every lie she spun would come undone.
But then one day, just a few months after Lila had returned, Marinette came to school with a big grin on her face. Lila said one tall tales, and the other girl didn’t even blink. Lila still remembered that their eyes met and saw: nothing. No longer did righteous fury reside there. No hurt expression. Or tears. Just apathy, sheer indifference to everyone in class.
Lila didn’t smile that day. In fact, she found it hard to really smile for the rest of the week. Because though technically she had won, it didn’t feel like a victory. It was like the game the two girls played had resulted in a stalemate and Marinette decided the battle was over. Marinette lost all her friends. Lila had no choice but to keep up the lies, particularly, after her mother announced they wouldn’t be moving like they usually would after a few months. It took a lot of work. Lila could admit that if she had know Paris was permanent, she’d have been a little more honest.
So, in the end, neither girl won but neither girl lost.
Nevertheless, Lila was smart. She knew when to back off. And so she did. She learned quickly that if she kept Marinette’s name out of her mouth, she was golden. Lila also learned that Marinette wasn’t made at Lila. It was everyone else the Asian girl had a problem with.
Everyone else in class who quickly realized just what life was like without their everyday ladybug.
Gone was the random sweets from her parents’ bakery. Gone was the well planned birthday parties and class trips. Gone was the comforting shoulder. Gone was the friend who they could call no matter time of day or night if they needed someone to talk to. Gone was their biggest supporter. Gone was the always friendly face that promised to brighten the darkest day.
The kids learned quickly, that if they were in trouble, they were on their own. Apart from Akuma attacks, that Ladybug still showed up for. Though Ladybug had taken to ignoring the students, particularly Alya. Even going as far as to say to the teen reporter, in front of other journalists, that she doesn’t talk to tabloids; too many rumors and lies.
This had slowly but surly caused the downfall of the Ladyblog. Alya could no longer get the best scoop; no that went to Aurore who created an entire website with tips and advice and videos about and straight from Ladybug. The website fully endorsed by the hero. Alya had quickly decided that she just needed to talk to Ladybug to clear up whatever was caught the strife. It was then that Alya remembered that Marinette had gotten her that first interview, the interview that had launched the Ladyblog’s success. Marinette who she was no longer friends with.
Marinette who had it clear that she didn’t care. She didn’t are that Alya’s beloved blog had spiraled into nothing. That Nino’s music career seemed to be at an all-time standstill. That Marc and Nathaniel’s comic and partnership had gone down in flames. (Mostly because Nathaniel had taken too much of Lila’s advice and changed too much of the comic to be recognizable.) Or that Ivan and Mylene had broken up. Juleka had gone back to never showing up in pictures. Rose was in tears that Prince Ali no longer wished to speak to her. Kitty Section had broken up. Chloe was a bigger bully than ever, though she too was smart enough to stay clear of Marinette. The list went on and on, getting worse and worse.
Even the teachers realized just how much of a control presence that Marinette had. And just how lost their classrooms were without her.
But still, Marinette didn’t care.
Marinette had been screwed over. Once. Twice. A dozen times. Her best friend, her sworn bestie, hadn’t been the loyal friend she promised she was; acted nice when was so not nice. Chat Noir, Adrien, had left her to fight alone so many times that Master Fu took back his Miraculous. Screwed over by her best friend. Twice. And then by all the other kids.
Still, no one could understand how the sweetest girl could go full Ice Queen.
They had been smart enough to get Luka and Kagami to ask Marinette at the school’s end of the year party. Adrien got Kagami to ask as Marinette had taken to ignoring him for a long time by then Juleka got Luka to promise to find out. Kagami and Luka had become her closest friends. And the fact that her classmates would use them to get information on her, just reminded Marinette just how done she was.
She was so done.
So after the two had asked. Instead of answering, Marinette texted Colton, her friend, and DJ of the party. Marinette needed to make something clear.
When the song, ended Marinette got on stage.
“Hey,” She said into the mic. Her hair was only a bit longer but the blue had been dyed out of it. Her skinny jeans were black and ripped and she had on a red halter top was lacy and elegant. “Someone of you might not know me. But I’ve done enough for this school and a lot the students, to know majority of you do.” Her tone was dry and her stare blank. “Over last year, I took a step back you could say from, well, bullshit.” There were laughs. Most of the students who knew of Marinette and had been affected by her kindness had reached out almost immediately when they realized something was wrong, something had changed.
Marinette looked at the students, “I got screwed over by too many times to count.” She sighed. “Turns out, a lot there’s a lot of assholes in my class.” She said bluntly. “So how do I deal with it all. In fact, how do you deal with all the drama and bullies and liars and two-faced bitches in your life? I got some advice for you. Pay close attention because it worked great for me.” The music started and Marinette started to sing.
“Here's my secret strategy
It always works because
The world doesn't end
It just feels like it does”
Marinette wasn’t the best singer but she was decent. The song wasn’t about high notes or theatrics. It was sung with grace and humor. A strong daria morgendorffer vibe.
So raise your right finger Marinette raised her right hand flicked off the entire school and looked right at her classmates. There faces turned red and their eyes were wide.
And solemnly swear
"Whatever they say about me
I don't care!"
The first few months had been hard. And full of mean looks were way and nasty remarks. Until they realized they needed her. They needed her charm. Her can-do attitude. Her to come back as class president. Her ideas. The free handmade clothes she designed.
I won't twist in knots to join your game
Rose, surprising, had been the first to try to tempt her back. The other having enlisted the second sweetest girl in class to talk to Marinette. Rose had told Marinette that if she just admitted she was wrong Lila and apologize, they’d take her back. Marinette had told her to fuck off.
I will say, "you make me mad."
And if you treat me bad
I'll say "you're bad"
And if I eat alone from this moment on
That's just what I'll do
'Cause I'd rather be me, I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me than be with you
Marinette had eaten alone for weeks until she made she found real friends in other classes, both upper and lower grades. That was when Marinette found out that she was well-liked by the majority of the school. And the majority of the school didn’t buy Lila’s lies.
We're supposed to all be ladies
And be nurturing and care
Is that really fair?
Boys get to fight, we have to share
Marinette found new friends, made new plans, her schedule filled up again, and she was happy. That was when the rumors started. Alya and Alix, leading the charge, had taken upon themselves to tell Marinette new friends what a bully she was and the rest of the school as well. They got upset when no one believed them.
They got even more upset when they realized Marinette didn’t care. At all. However, when Alix had taken it too far, he had decided to get physical and trip Marinette in the lunchroom….
Here's the way that turns out
We always understand
How to slap someone down
With our underhand
Marinette got up, pulled her arm back, and knocked Alix’s lights out. “Don’t try that shit again,” Marinette had warned her ex-friends. “I have no problem kicking each and everyone one of your asses.”
She got a week’s detention but she smiled all the way through.
So here's my right finger Marinette flicked off the school again; waved it around so everyone could see it.
To how girls should behave
'Cause sometimes what's meant to break you
Makes you brave
So I will not act all innocent
I won't fake apologize
From then on, it was everyone understood that a new Marinette walked the halls. One that didn’t care about being nice. How ladies should behave. She refused to apologize after a fight. And she never backed down from an agreement.
Turns out losing all her friends didn’t break her. It made her braver. In a way Ladybug never managed to before then.
Let's just fight and then make up
Not tell these lies
Let's call our damage even
Clean the slate till it's like new
Marinette never gave in; even when the ice out happened. All the kids in her class ignored her, they didn’t say a single word to her. Refused to pair with her. Didn’t even acknowledge her existence.
It's a new life for me
Where I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me
Than be with you
The once bluenette just laughed at their childish antics. She didn’t bat an eye as they wanted her too. She didn’t understand why they couldn’t fight like normal people. Or the very at least call the war done, the damage even on both sides, and then move on with clean slates.
I'll say, "NO!"
NO!
I'll say, "knock it off,
with your notes and your rules and your games."
Marinette had just gone: NO. No. She wasn’t going to play their little games. Do anything to make it even remotely look like she card. It was over. She was done. It was all just a waiting game.
Waiting for them to grow up and realize, it was game over. There was no magical way their friendship would ever be restored. They should move, let go. Find something better. Accept the loss and learned to live with it.
Like she’d done with Lila. Marinette hadn’t been happy with the results of their chess game but she could live with it. Move on. Got a new life.
And those sycophants who follow you, Marinette turned her attention to the pretty Italian girl. If Lila ever came after her again… Or when her kingdom of lies fell, and there was no doubt it would. Marinette would be there to watch it burn.
I'll remember all their names, She sang to Lila who nodded having understood. Even she knew her time was running out. Though Lila wouldn’t just hand over her power willingly. No, Lila knew it would have to dragged away from her bloody hands before she let it go. Lila would fight. It was just the way she was.
The one thing Marinette liked about the girl.
Alya was getting desperately. Eventually, she’ll realize the answer to all her problems lay in the comments on her blog. All questioning why she was promoting such an obvious liar. And when she did… There would be hell to pay.
And when they drag you down
Like they inevitably do
I will not laugh along with them and
approve their palace coup, 'cause that's not me. She promised her once the greatest enemy. (Hawkmoth’s was Ladybug’s.) That caused Lila to smile.
Because when the faux-faced kids turned their ire onto Lila. When they dragged her through the same torment they put Marinette though. At least the wannabe Volpina wouldn’t have to worry about the once Every Day ladybug.
In fact, if Lila played her cards right, and she nearly always did. She’d find an alley to teach her. Teach her not to care. Teach her to be stronger. Teach her out to say “Fuck you” to the world.
Because Marinette no longer cared enough to have any reason not to. Granted she could just say, “I. Don’t. Want. To.” Like she did frequently these days.
Janis. Janis. Janis. Janis
I don't need their good opinions
I have plenty of opinions
Everybody has opinions but it doesn't make them true
Marinette didn’t care what her old friends thought. Or that they didn’t like her. Who cared? So what if they thought she was a bully? Or a jealous liar. Or a bad friend. Or the new Ice queen.
She shrugged. She had a lot to say about them to. And sure she bitched with Luka, Aurore, and Kagami but it wasn’t serious. It was just to vent. Because who cared?
What's true is being me
And I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me than be with you.
So raise them high 'cause playing nice and shy is insulting my IQ
Marinette had no problem being a bitch if they pushed. She was no longer shy and sweet and far too nice for her own good. Because she had learned her lesson.
And, Marinette thought, she learned it was so well that life rewarded. She was making clothes for Clara and Jagged. Worked with Chloe’s mom. She had an internship with Teen Vogue, in New York, that summer. Won several design contests. Got to see one of her designs on the red carpet worn by an up and coming actress that Jagged recommended her to.
The actress said the brand was MDC, created by a kickass teenager name Marinette. That dress got the actress on the best-dressed list, and Marinette twenty more commissions by other almost, or kind of famous celebrities.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
I'd Rather Be Me
I'd Rather Be Me
So maybe I should thank you. Marinette adlibbed the line but sang it directly to Lila who smirked as she knew exactly what the other girl was referring to.
While Marinette would never say it, Lila knew, she had done the girl a favor. Showed her who her real friends were. Or weren’t. And without them, without the niceness and overly caring nature she once had, Marinette had thrived; gone further than Lila ever imagined.
Lila had only wanted them because she liked the attention. However, she knew they weren’t real friends. No matter what Alya said, they weren’t besties. Lila didn’t trust the glasses-wearing girl as far she could throw her.
Because now I know…
I'd Rather Be Me than be with you!
Most of her classmates looked sad. A few looked angry. Lila just looked up at her used to be nemesis with admiration and a small smile.
A brief look of wonder and hope flashed over her face and for a moment she of just saying “To hell with it.” Screaming her sins and go binge watch Grey’s anatomy. Take up dance class when summer was over and the new school year began. She always loved dancing.
It was the only thing Lila knew was honestly good at; great at even.
But that moment passed. Lila liked her power. Besides, there was a good chance she could make everyone think Alya was crazy or lying to convince to save her blog; that Lila wasn’t the liar.
Lila smirked. She had all summer to slowly leave breadcrumbs that Alya was reading too much into the situation, was too desperate, didn’t know what she was talking about. By the time the summer ended, Lila could have all other students convinced the once future great journalist had just lost her edge. So much so that it was reason Ladybug dissed the Ladyblog.
Alya wouldn’t be a challenge like Marinette had been. Not even close. Marinette had been the Sherlock to Lila’s Moriarty. (If Marinette had kept the game going, Lila would’ve too. Until it was a full-scale war. No prisoners. Just blood; both metaphorical blood and the real red stuff.)
Alya would be too easy. But it would still be fun. Even if Alya managed to pull a fast one, there was no way their little friendships would survive what they did to Marinette. Not all the blame could be put on Lila, no matter how much they tried.
And when Marinette didn’t come back after the truth was revealed and they begged and apologized for never believing her; for not trusting her. Blame would shift. Especially if Lila changed classes like she knew Marinette had to be at least considering.
I'd Rather Be Me
Because, Marinette would never be their friend again. They were just pawns in the game of life. And Marinette realized that while pawns could become queens. They never went back to being pawns again.
I'd Rather Be Me
I'd Rather Be Me than be with you!
Marinette was doing just fine. She wasn’t their friend. She didn’t like them.
And most importantly, Marinette didn’t care.
#ml salt fic#ml salt#marinette dupen chang#Marienette Dupain Cheng#Queen mari#alya salt#lila salt#saltinette#miraculous of salt#Nobod#nobodyfamousposts
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Raven used to be my friend but I had to cut ties recently due to feeling like walking on eggshells everytime we spoke and they never apologized to me for when I brought up something that they did upset me. I really miss them but I don't want to deal with the if it's not about me I don't care attitude.
Pt 2 of Ravens old friend. They reblogged anti fandom posts on their resource blog and I happened to be in that fandom and it hurt. A resource blog shouldn't be doing that.
Hey, Anon! I wanted to post this before I released one of my drafts, as that draft happens to be something I do not want you to misconstrue being about you. Thought about it after the fact and honestly, felt a bit ill over potentially making you think any such thing! The post is about how pushy people can be about what they like (usually as regards fandom) that you don't, and how that can be a contributing factor toward people saying hateful things about fandom topics. It was the quickest of the finished drafts sitting around to edit, so it was being queued, that's all! I do not think you were being pushy about your likes to "deserve" this, and frankly, even if you had? One's meme/resource/help blog is not the venue for shitting on your friends.
Okay, just wanted to clarify, everyone is stressed and feeling judged enough, I don't want to inadvertently contribute to that with any drafted posts!
I'm really sorry this happened, Anon. I don't mean that in a passing, flippant way that looks good on my blog. Not that I mean anything that way lol but I frequently have had "friends" in the past who felt like it was totally fine to reblog, even make original posts, like what you're talking about. Anti-fandom, anti my part of the fandom, my muses, my takes, and so on. Really hurtful things when we'd spoken in DMs about how upsetting it was, then they go and throw full support behind it in front of me.
It would be irritating with a grain of betrayal if it was a friend of a shorter time, or a mutual one doesn't really interact with OOC, but with a closer or longtime friend, it's actively hurtful. It feels like they looked you right in the face, said they do not give a single shit about either what is important to you or sparing your feelings, and went on. Yeah, it's just fiction, but the way we treat each other over fiction is real.
Given the behaviors displayed openly, it's not a shock you received no apology. Whether you got an apology or not, though, good on you for trying to bring it up to them! It's hard to do that with friends, even ones you're more certain won't blow up at you for it. I think if we could all be a little more (calmly, nicely, reasonably) open with each other like this, we could avoid problems that result from things festering and piling up, but it's hard to take that step...and I'm sorry this was your reward for it.
Just as blogs that are not one's RP or personal blogs shouldn't be openly judging and hating fandoms like that, friends shouldn't leave you feeling like you're walking on eggshells.
And, I'm going to say something unpopular here - sometimes, we all are capable of doing that to people we care about. Bad moments in lives combine, there are misunderstandings, sensitive topics, and things we can't entirely control otherwise. I don't like this idea tumblr has that anything other than a perfect, sweet, forever-cheery relationship is the actual height of abuse, so I want to be clear on that because it's just trivializing and blinding people to the possibility of toxic and abusive interactions. When you think "toxic" means "they don't like x, I love x, we don't talk about it," you're not aware of legitimate signs like being too worried to be yourself around them.
It's when this is the typical, established behavior that it's a problem. It's when there's never any meaningful acknowledgment, apology, or attempt at changing that it's a problem. If you constantly feel like you have to be worried about what a friend is going to say or do, it's not a friendship you need to be in, and I'm glad you recognized that and got out of it!
But there's also the idea that this is easy because it's the right and logical choice. It is not, and it's often made even harder because admitting to other friends that you miss the good times with the former one is all but impossible. They're often only reacting out of concern for you, the fear that if you miss this person they watched hurt you, you'll go back to that friendship, but it effectively shuts down a more healthy way of dealing with your feelings by sharing them with better friends who could support you.
So, Anon, it's also fully alright and normal to miss Raven! They were a longtime friend, and the thing about these kinds of friendships, these kinds of relationships in general, is that we seem to fail to realize that if things were straight awful from day one, we'd not have been friends. Of course, there are memories! Of course, you have the impulse to send them a link or that meme you know is their humor! It doesn't stop for a long time, either. That doesn't mean you're fucked up for it, it's something to be ashamed of, or that you're going to drop your better judgment and go send Raven a message immediately and rekindle that friendship. It's okay!
This right here: "I don't want to deal with the if it's not about me I don't care attitude." This is the place you should be in, and I congratulate you on being there because it takes a lot of shit heaped on someone by a friend to get there. Just keep remembering the good things you experienced with them, but always with this in mind, that their end of the friendship appears to have been predicated upon what they were getting out of it only.
Case in point, like everything they displayed to the whole damn RPC that encountered them these last few months, their personal interest and viewpoint was of greater importance to them with that anti-fandom post than a friend was.
I will say, it can be a delicate thing having this blog. I have opinions and takes that most of my friends share, what's important to me tends to run in the same lines as what is important to them, that's the basis of a lot of our friendship. We still disagree! We still have different interests, fandoms, favorite characters, songs, and experiences. Sometimes, I have to address a problem that they could misconstrue, in a totally normal and reasonable way, because while they're not doing whatever in a bad way, others are. I've made a point, more than once, to contact them and talk about it a little preemptively, and that's not just to keep up friendships, it also allows for extra insight from them and better phrasing from me so that other people I don't know won't take it the wrong way either.
Yes, I have some immutable, incredibly hard lines lol I think we all know what most of them are now, but expressing my purely personal opinion on something like fandom is not more important on this blog than anything else. I may genuinely feel like there is diseased connective tissue of disappointing behavior stemming from an origin point in a popular fandom, I'm not going to go off about it on this blog. It's inappropriate as hell, going to make people feel isolated and targeted whether they're my friends or not. Being passionately displeased about that does not have place here, and that's the kind of thing you have to consider, reconsider, force yourself to shut up about when you've got a blog that isn't for RP or a personal, you know?
I don't think everyone is cut out for doing that, and no one is cut out for doing it without ever making a mistake in judgment. Some people really should simply realize that there is nothing wrong with not being in the place in their lives or mental health to put that much effort into being fair or being quiet and concentrating only on memes. If you're one of those people, random reader? I'm serious, it's okay if you can't do it! It's not shameful, I'm also a deeply flawed human being, the quietest, politest, helpful meme blog out there is also run by a flawed human, they're just at a different place with themselves than you are. And. That's. Okay. Just don't hurt other people (and yourself, ultimately) by forcing it, please.
I suppose, knowing that it wasn't important enough to chill and reevaluate for the sake of a friend is some consolation lol what one won't do for friends definitely won't be done for random muns deemed problematic. So, maybe that'll make some other people out there feel a little better, and I thank you for sharing...as much as I wish you had nothing of this experience to share. I know it's an unpleasant one to have had, and I hope you have much better friends!
I promise you that I'll never post anything here that is viciously against any particular fandom or any such thing, and that if you feel like I've been unfair about anything at all, I welcome polite messages as a way of discussing it so we can all be clear and/or learn from each other. I know, I openly admit, it's kind of a draw of the blog, that I have a...um, tone of salt about things lol and sometimes, I don't phrase things the way they deserved. So, it's always okay to drop in for clarification or counterpoint, so long as it isn't being done with a shitty attitude that incites hostilities. Let's do have a legitimate conversation about it instead of hurt feelings!
Thanks again, Anon!
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from my 2020 Faves & Saves update page: Fanfic culture, AO3 origins going right back to strikethrough, fandom history.....
SO. MANY. LINKS.
so many goodies under the cut!
these are all links to my tumblr - i did not write very many of them, but i know my links will remain the same and not be lost :)
The master post of upholding and celebrating fanfic, by @inkandcayenne :
‘I think fanfiction is literature and literature, for the most part, is fanfiction, and that anyone that dismisses it simply on the grounds that it’s derivative knows fuck-all about literature and needs to get the hell off my lawn.’
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/621654927974055936/inkandcayenne-tywinning-asked-you-2012-08-09
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HISTORY OF FANDOM CULTURE FROM LJ TO AO3
'What you are doing when you say “If you don’t want crit, don’t post your story” is gatekeeping, and in a REALLY harmful way. Without fans creating work (fanfiction or art or meta), there is no fandom. You’re not only saying “you can’t be in fandom if you don’t want to be hurt” you’re actively calling for fandom to be cut down. That’s a bad thing. Fandom needs creator content in order to exist and grow.’
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/186058432379/so-if-youve-watched-my-general-meltdown-about
Foz: straight dudes of the world…read fanfic:
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230785234/fozmeadows-totallyevillisa
foz: on depression and hurt/comfort
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230730609/on-depression-and-hurtcomfort
fantastic Foz posts from a while ago, addressing the ‘well just censor content and then you’re not godless heathens’ fallacy…
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230530849/fantastic-foz-posts-from-a-while-ago-addressing
Fanfiction & Capitalism, and Why I Think They Are Related [TW for homophobia, mentions of sexual violence, capitalism]
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230748619/fanfiction-capitalism-and-why-i-think-they-are
Fair use is authorized by law
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230721574/fyeahcopyright-heidi8-fair-use-is-wholly
fantastic breakdown of the sociology that led from LJ community culture to tumblr anonymous disconnected culture:
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/611096897406615552/kanna-ophelia-taraljc-kanna-ophelia
'The Places Fandom Dwells: A cautionary Tale’ - EXCELLENT, LOTS OF LINKS
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179355549419/the-places-fandom-dwells-a-cautionary-tale
'It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?’
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/173587593934/bonehandledknife-feynites-theskaldspeaks
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BIG AO3 POSTS - HISTORY OF FANDOM
great breakdown of stats on how HUGE AO3 actually is…
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230519234/why-are-people-still-up-in-arms-about-ao3-needing
another breakdown of how huge AO3 is & intricate skills required to run it
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179336300829/hey-ao3-can-you-like-give-the-extra-38k-you-made
AO3 is in the top 300 biggest websites in the WORLD/how a huge site like this works
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230400619/hey-ao3-can-you-like-give-the-extra-38k-you-made
origin story of AO3 - very sweet (10th anniversary of AO3)
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230398054/on-the-ao3-all-these-years-later
this blogger remembers when we didn’t have AO3
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179391607249/this-blog-is-unrepentantly-pro-ao3
adults built fandom - who runs cons? who runs AO3 & the legal team at OTW? codes the servers?
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179430883009/naryaflame-vanimore-askragtatter-rsasai
“AO3 IS OUR SITE. It is by fans, for fans. Fans do all the coding. All the legal paperwork. All the abuse/tos violation complaints. Fans make all the choices about policies. Fans decide how to run the fundraisers. Fans write the blog posts. All the volunteer staff are fans; all the people who train them are fans. Fans wrangle all the tags.”
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/188239677029/purge-of-2002-of-2012-what-are-those
'Certain people are screaming that AO3 is bad because it’s not a “safe space.” The real problem they have, though, is that AO3 was created to be a safe space - for writers.’
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/165199049719/rapacityinblue-kaciart-rocket-sith
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FANDOM HISTORY & CULTURE
copperbadge - fandom dad explains concrit & why it’s not welcome without specific request
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/186983936704/question-as-an-oldster-and-fandom-lurker-since
fanfic/fanart is a gift - respect it in the way you respect something freely given
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/187512037844/trickztr-friendly-reminder-that-fan-made
'Toxic Fandom: Chen Criticism and Entitlement Go Too Far’
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179392060549/toxic-fandom-when-criticism-and-entitlement-go
an explanation of the anti’s as very damaged authoritarianism
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230513414/freedom-of-fanfic-freedom-of-fanfic
why do fangirls always make them gay?
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/162428018414/why-do-fangirls-always-make-them-gay
fandom history through the ages and across continents
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/129594965539/teashoesandhair-ogress-jhameia
one of several versions of a HUGE history post educating people on why we need a non-censored AO3 & why this is vital (and how misinformed many fans are)
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230393414/theothersarshi-redshoesnblueskies
another version: https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/173741270214/grison-in-space-veronica-rich
conversation on AO3 tagging (plus being screwed by censorship
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179391926284/except-that-no-one-uses-tags-like-fetishized
how AO3 is run by volunteer & how to volunteer yourself
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230390519/in-kind
Ao3 fund drive post that goes into why they don’t censor
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179230054009/anarfea-anarfea-people-keep-asking-how-can
what 'Archive of Our Own’ refers to
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179136825394/what-archive-of-our-own-refers-to
AO3’s transparent financial reporting & a good rant
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179136341494/ao3-donation-drive
a short explanation of LJ strikethrough
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179124456874/telarna-meeedeee-bomberqueen17-i-just
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LIGHTER FARE
origin of the ! - the “bang path’ in fandom pairings :D
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/118991314994/hey-whats-up-with-the-in-fandoms-ie-fat
can we PLEASE have an AO3 rating system for books & media?? pleeeeease??? here’s some thoughts on how:
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/119377580254/crowd-sourced-content-warnings-at-book-stores
LJ was my initial experience of examining how fic fits into these huge gaps left by conventional writing, media and daily IRL conversation/education - the kind of healing that fic can bring to both individuals and a collective body of both knowledge and healthy questioning of assumptions about sexuality as a whole. I mean, the kind of absolutely common place knowledge about consent, power dynamics, experimentation to determine what one’s own sexuality looks like, and the the options available is extraordinary. To have that breadth and depth of knowledge presented in an often beautifully creative format; where you could discuss with the author and other readers anything included in the fic and what it meant to both literature and real life, as well as all things fannish that one’s wild imagination could come up with…. good god what I would have given for that information as a teen.
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/122835116349/bonehandledknife-redshoesnblueskies
Fandom Is…. (poem)
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/124514359704/fandom-is-focus-fandom-is-obsession-fandom-is
Can fandom bring back the concept of a squick? Pleeeease?
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/126342903959/can-fandom-bring-back-the-concept-of-a-squick
'so don’t pretend it can’t be done, author dudes, because there’s a million fangirls who can write lyric filthy devastating character-revealing plot-advancing poetic tender wall-slamming trope-inverting panting sweaty trope-embracing aching crying sex…..and can do it far far better than you.’
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/124171180589/sex-is-hard-to-write-about-because-you-lose-the
'It’s just fanfic…’
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/126188502159/its-just-fan-fic
“Ship means something you want to see happen.” Bitch, no it don’t.
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/179234734799/pyrebomb-ship-means-something-you-want-to-see
why can you sell fanart, but not fanfic??
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/128782763684/legal-side-of-tumblr-can-you-answer-me-a
humor: different types of fanfic - in graphics:
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/129402064267/justanotherfmablog-yougothenigo
THE SUFFERING ARTIST CONCEPT IS BULLSHIT AND SHOULD BE BLOWTORCHED:
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/186461152949/zendarkwalkerx-magicianmew-katiecrenshaw
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/166161827744/if-one-more-person-says-what-if-theyd-medicated
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IF YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR, YOU DESERVE STARSHIPS (SCROLL DOWN):
https://redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com/post/138038043884/samati-saathi1013-tygermama-zillah975
#AO3#fandom culture#fandom history#LJ#DW#blowback of the past couple of years against refusing to censor AO3 content
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Kicking the Hornet’s Nest...
I’m procrastinating hard on other tasks, but in chit-chatting (both on tumblr and on Discord) about my stance on criticism of fanfiction, I realized that there’s a very low-hanging analogy I can make to explain my thoughts on this, so…
Uh first, please remember this is my personal blog and just my personal opinion. If you think that giving unsolicited concrit is the worst, I promise I’m not here to grab you individually, shake you by the shoulders, and try to change your minds. We can agree to disagree; I’m fully aware my opinion is unpopular on tumblr but also fully aware of the irony of people giving unsolicited criticism on a post about why unsolicited criticism is a good thing.
And second, please note that the analogy used below is only an analogy and not meant to be a one-to-one comparison–obviously the issue of vaccination is a far more critical, serious, and solemn issue and the topic of criticism on fanfiction (of all things) is not equal to a global health crisis that has cost real people’s lives. I’m drawing radical comparisons to thought processes because it’s shocking, not genuinely comparing fanfiction comments to moral and ethical world health decisions because I think those two things are equitable in importance.
Uh and third, please don’t respond unless you’re going to read it all. I'm happy to take your constructive criticism after you're finished with the whole thing. I get so tired of people rushing to my inbox after only getting half way through my arguments–90% of the time, I already addressed the thing you wanted to come yell at me about and you just didn’t make it there, promise.
So, at the risk of pissing off just about everyone who thought they respected me before this:
The current anti-concrit mindset stems from a similar logic to the one used by anti-vaxxers.
(This analogy lasts a grand total of five paragraphs or something, don’t get your jimmies too rustled.)
Most people on tumblr are happy–downright gleeful–to mock anti-vaxxers. The average anti-vaxxer is considered close-minded, self-centered, and under-educated. Although the issue of anti-vaxxing is probably more complicated than we paint it here on this website (to be fair, I wouldn’t know if it’s more complicated, since I agree that anti-vaxxers are generally stupid and don’t look into their arguments very often), almost no one on tumblr has any issue with anti-vaxxers being dragged up and down the block for their bad choices.
Usually, the logic of anti-vaxxers is understood to work something like this:
Anti-vaxxer: I don’t want to expose my child to something potentially harmful, so I am not going to vaccinate them.
Literally everyone else: You’re exposing your child to far greater risk in the long-term by not vaccinating.
Or:
Anti-vaxxer: My child doesn’t need to be vaccinated; they’re fine as they are. Those diseases aren’t a big deal anymore.
Literally everyone else: This mindset will make those diseases a big deal again.
On paper, sometimes anti-vaxxer logic works out–it is true that some children suffer very painful and awful reactions to vaccinations. It IS true that poorly made or contaminated vaccinations have killed children and will continue to do in the future. It IS true that vaccinations are painful and stressful for children in general and can even–depending on how the children respond to pain and how their doctors/nurses treat them–result in long-term phobias and health care aversion. There can be serious lasting consequences from vaccinating.
But most of us laugh in the face of anti-vaxxers. Why? Because we know that in comparison to the number of benefits, the risks are minimal. In the long-term, the number of people helped by vaccines far, far exceeds the number of people hurt.
I hope you can see where I’m going. At its core, the issue of giving unsolicited constructive criticism follows a similar pattern of short-term risk aversion. Authors who don’t want constructive criticism and choose to actively refuse it are following a similar thought process to anti-vaxxer parents:
Author: I don’t want any constructive criticism. Criticism can be painful, and my writing doesn’t need to be exposed to that.
Or:
Author: I don’t need any constructive criticism because my writing is fine as it is and I’m just doing it for fun anyway.
The general attitude seems to be that exposing fanfiction authors to unsolicited constructive criticism carries more risk than it does reward. And please be aware that I’m talking about genuinely constructive criticism here, well-intentioned and polite comments (the vaccine in this analogy), not troll comments deliberately designed to hurt people’s feelings (which would be equivalent to say, an injected contaminated drug in this analogy–no one should be okay with those).
But like anti-vaxxers who insist that the short-term risks of vaccines are more dangerous than the long-term risks of major diseases… is there really any evidence that genuinely constructive criticism, even when unsolicited, really does discourage and upset a large number of fanfiction authors? Or, more to the point of the analogy–is the number of people who would be entirely discouraged from writing ever again by some constructive criticism really greater than the number of people who would benefit from getting some (again, polite) tips for improving their writing? Which is the greater risk–being hurt in the short-term or losing out on the opportunity for growth in the long-term?
Clearly there are different opinions on this and I suspect that my opinion is heavily colored by the fact that I am older than the average tumblr user and therefore have many more years to look back on to weigh on the scales of this debate.
But I will always, always argue that the long-term benefits of helping other writers where you can far, far, far outweigh the short-term risks, for a couple reasons.
1) The world is a shitty, disappointing, stressful, and painful place. We encounter harsh criticisms every single day. Your teachers will give you poor grades. Your bosses will tell you your work isn’t up-to-par. Your friends will tell you the new top you bought and absolutely love… actually makes you look like you’re wearing a potato sack. If you’re into relationships, you’ll probably experience at least one break-up in which you hear that it’s YOU, not them, who is the problem. Your feelings will be hurt by callous comments from others an uncountable number of times. Your confidence will be shaken, if not actively crushed. I’m sorry to say it, but for almost all of us, having some miserable, anxiety-inducing and extremely discouraging moments in life is part of the unavoidable human experience. (And this is doubly, maybe triply true when we are starting out new hobbies or first entering a new field. Anyone who has ever tried to learn how to skateboard and gotten laughed at by experienced skateboarders knows exactly what I’m talking about.)
The world is full of truly awful things. And I’m not the kind of person who thinks we should just be exposed to all of them right from the get-go and fuck you and your snowflake feelings or things like that. I highly urge people to tag for triggering content and am on the record again and again telling people to block characters or ships that make them uncomfortable.
But many fanfiction authors are young authors, some of whom are posting work for public consumption for the very first time. Still more have no positive experiences with constructive criticism in the first place, and the extent of their literary criticism knowledge comes from really awful and boring high school English classes. When budding writers encounter a sudden explosion of access to readers–from having maybe one or two friends read their work to suddenly having their words in front of the eyes of thousands of strangers on the internet:
It’s disingenuous to give starting writers nothing but positive feedback. Only hearing positives about your work actively discourages change and self-reflection. It gives writers an unrealistic picture of their work that can result in far more serious disappointment and embarrassment later. When someone is awful at singing and they’re only told how nice their voice is, eventually when they sing for a more serious group of strangers, they’re going to be in for a very, very miserable time.
It’s a terrible missed opportunity for young writers to get a glimpse of what “professional” writing is like. Everyone benefits from genuinely constructive criticism–both the person getting it and the person giving it. We create young writers who are passionate about improving their writing by inducting them into the culture of planning, drafting, bouncing ideas off each other, finding beta readers, and taking others’ advice to grow their abilities, and oftentimes, one of the first experiences a person has with that process is someone spontaneously going “Hey, what if you tried this instead?” People often become inspired to become doctors and nurses after witnessing a family member experience a medical crisis–people often become inspired to become writers after receiving thorough feedback on things they have written. It’s impossible to really know whether or not you want a piece of constructive criticism until after you have heard what the criticism is, and adopting a “no unsolicited constructive criticism” policy as a whole creates an entire generation of fan writers who would miss out on opportunities for growth and inspiration.
This is waxing REALLY philosophical, but bear with me here, because this is also a well-documented concern of mine: we are entering an age in which people are no longer responsible for the media choices they make, where the internet is no longer viewed as a the equivalent of yelling into a crowd of (potentially dangerous) strangers, and the onus for protection is shifting away from self-preservation “I need to not put myself near upsetting things” to “other people have the responsibility not to expose me to upsetting things.” I’ve seen a lot of people say “If authors want constructive criticism on their fics, they can just say that in a note!” My ladies. My guys. My non-binary buddies. This is the utter opposite of how the internet functions. When you put anything on the internet, you are literally putting it before a crowd of an absolutely uncountable number of strangers and there are no rules (barring the laws of their home countries) dictating how they can respond to the things you put out there. Posting your writing on the internet is explicit consent to receive constructive criticism from anyone at any time unless you take actions to prevent that in advance. Sites like AO3 actively grant you the power to dictate who can SEE your work, comment on your work, give you the power to remove messages, screen comments before they appear, block comments entirely, or simply write in any of your notes sections that you do not want constructive criticism. (If it’s that easy to write “I want constructive criticism!” why is not seen as equally easy to write “I do not want constructive criticism!”?)
Public spaces on the internet are opt out, not opt in.
Why do many (though lord knows, not all) tumblr users easily agree to the idea of “If you don’t like a ship, you should just block it” or “If you see properly tagged content you don’t like on AO3 and you click it, that’s your own fault for not reading the tags,” but have the complete opposite mindset when it comes to constructive criticism? “I’m submitting my work in a public place where anyone can express their opinion on it… But even though there are multiple tools at my disposal for discouraging and blocking opinions I don’t agree with, it’s actually other people’s responsibility not to say anything that might upset me.”
As I said, waxing philosophical here, but this is kind of a scary mindset. The ability to enter a public space–and the internet is the MOST public space in the world–and then declare that you simply don’t want to listen to dissenting opinions is scary. I mean, this is how we get a common anti-vaxxer mindset–I don’t want to listen to your opinion because I have my source telling me I’m right and that’s all I need. “I put my work out in a public place and left it accessible to everyone, but I don’t want to listen to what everyone says about it.” I don’t mean to jump off the slippery slope, but this issue is a slippery slope in and of itself. Down this way lies a dark future. “It’s other people’s responsibility to curate my social experience for me.”
But really, after all this… I just flat out think it’s important to give genuinely constructive criticism to each other without people needing to ask for it because it just kind of sucks to see a fellow writer struggling with something and not say something about it. It’s not about feeling superior or thinking you know better than someone else; we all have our own strengths and weaknesses, and spotting something that could use a bit of work in someone else’s writing doesn’t make you a better writer, it just means that’s not your particular weakness. When someone is struggling to learn to swim, you don’t just leave them to their own devices and assume they’ll figure it out–even if they swear they’ve got it. When someone is learning to sew and you, who has sewed that exact thing before, don’t offer any advice, that’s not encouragement, it’s apathy. There will be many, many, many times in your life where you did not know you needed advice. Where you did not know HOW to ask for advice. Where you might have known you needed advice but not really wanted to admit that. Where you might have known you needed advice and been too shy to ask for help. Where a piece of advice completely from the blue changes the course of your life. Fandom as a whole–fan creators as a whole–cannot become a culture that closes the door to that vital form of communication, rejects willingness to not only uplift but also help each other grow even when we least expect it.
Anyway, I’m literally just writing this to avoid real responsibilities, but the point I’m trying to make is:
Most writers, even very young writers, will not be discouraged by polite, well-intentioned criticism. They may not like it. They may not take any of the criticism to heart, but most people, even young people, are far more resilient than tumblr (which on the best of days is a negative feedback loop that can romanticize a victim mindset because having the saddest backstory makes you immune to cancellation) wants to give them credit for, and a vast majority of writers will not be traumatized or scared away from writing by people trying to offer them genuine advice. Remember, no one here is advocating for asshole trolls who post comments like “Your writing sucks and you should delete your account.” A majority of writers, even very young writers, will be able to weather the storms and tosses of even really rudely-worded advice and recover. Sometimes it might take a while, but human beings have survived as a species because we’re really, really persevering.
(But some people aren’t! you might say. Some people really will give up writing if they’re criticized! And you’d be correct. There are people who will give up, even if all they are faced with is a single gentle, well-intentioned piece of criticism. But the truth is… People give up on hobbies for all kinds of reasons! Not every hobby is for every person! Every hobby carries with it its own challenges, its own share of risks, and its own pains. Learning a new hobby consistently requires putting yourself out of your comfort zone. Wanna learn how to ride a snowboard? You will get bruised. Wanna learn how to play chess? You will lose. Wanna learn to draw? Someone will make fun of your early drawings. You will make fun of your own early drawings. Wanna post your writing on a public platform? Someday, someone is going to say they’re not a fan.
And that leads me to address the point that just keeps coming up and coming up in this issue: People aren’t always posting their fics to improve as writers! A lot of times people are posting for just fun or for personal reasons.
Yeahhhhh bullshit. No, no, hang on–I don’t mean that people don’t have fun writing and posting fics, or that fics can’t help you through traumatic experiences because everything I’ve ever posted is basically me dealing with my own personal shit–what I mean is that there’s always an additional dimension to posting your fics on large-scale public websites. People write stories and share them with their friend groups for fun. People write characters overcoming trauma and share them with their therapists (or the friends who help to fill that role) for healing. People post their stories publicly, where anyone can respond, for validation on top of their fun and healing. There are ways to hide your fics entirely on many sites. You can leave things in drafts. If a fic is appearing as unmoderated and open to the public on a major fic site such as AO3, Wattpad, ff.net, etc., it’s because that fic’s author wants responses from others! They want views. They want subscribes. They want kudos. They want comments. There’s literally no reason to post publicly except for your work to be viewed by the public.
The fun one has writing a fic is often tied directly to the thrill of seeing a comment or kudos notification pop-up in your inbox. We love seeing people enjoy our fics–it absolutely makes my day when someone sends me a message telling me they re-read my fic for the third time.
It’s NOT fun to write something and get no response.
Writing something and getting no response is actively discouraging, actually.
So whenever someone says “They’re not writing fics to improve as writers; they’re just doing it for fun!” I have to laugh a bit–because when the concept of “fun with fanfiction” is tied so closely to the experience of having your work viewed and enjoyed by others, the fastest and surest way to increase the fun you have with your fanfics… is to improve as a writer. The more you write, the more you improve. The more you improve, the more loyal readers you gain. The more loyal readers you gain, the more excited people you have to gush about your fics with. Want a Discord server full of people willing to help you brainstorm ideas for your favorite AU? Write well, attract followers. Want fanart of your writing, probably the most fun and exciting thing I can think of as an author? Write well. Just plain old want more friends in the fandom to talk about your favorite characters and fic ideas with? Make writer friends.
People have fun writing about their favorite characters and post publicly to receive responses and validation for their creations… Responses increase the fun writers have because they make the hard work of writing worth it and give you people to keep writing for and with… Improving your writing increases the number of people attracted to your works and the number of people willing to spend time responding to them… The bigger the response you get, the more invested you become in your fics, the more fandom friends you make, and the more you want to write–it’s a process that is self-fulfilling, but also one that exposes you to criticism by its very nature. The very act of seeking responses from readers means that you’re open to responses that you don’t necessarily want to hear.
And I actually don’t mean this in the way of “If you can’t handle the heat, don’t jump into the fire.” What I mean is that it is impossible to create a world in which everyone who starts writing sticks with the hobby and keeps churning out works for us to enjoy forever. It is impossible to create a world in which no young writer will ever feel discouraged and give up. The writer you decided not to give constructive criticism to might just as easily become discouraged and quit writing because they didn’t receive enough response.
The first time you give your child a new vaccine, you cannot predict the results. Your child might suffer an allergic reaction. They might die. Every year, numerous severe reactions to vaccines do occur. But the majority of people don’t question the effectiveness of vaccines because we understand that the number of people who have severe reactions is very low in comparison to the number of people who benefit from the vaccine. The number of people who will be discouraged from writing by genuine, polite, constructive criticism is minuscule in comparison to the number of people who will either 1) benefit from it directly and be thankful you gave it, 2) not benefit but not be upset by it, 3) be mildly upset by it but then benefit, or 4) just be mildly upset by itself and then move on with life unharmed because sometimes people say things we don’t like but that doesn’t ruin our lives every single time it happens.
I’m not saying that providing polite constructive criticism doesn’t have risks, just that its risks are smaller than its benefits.
And I’ve successfully whittled enough time away with this now that I can go to sleep without guilt over the things I didn’t finish, but I started this by saying the long-term benefits outweighed the short-term risks and I feel obligated to defend that…
The long-term benefits of well-placed constructive criticism are enormous. Sometimes people need ego checks. Sometimes we need wake-up calls. Sometimes we need a gentle helping hand and didn’t even realize other people could be the help we needed. Sometimes we need a reason to get fired up–even if that reason is spite, trying to prove a critic wrong! Sometimes the answer is glaring us in the face and we don’t notice until someone else points it out. Sometimes we just plain out make mistakes. Sometimes we need a teacher because the ones in school let us down. Sometimes (oftentimes) other people bring incredibly unique perspectives to our stories that we would never have been open to on our own. Sometimes we write something unintentionally hurtful and need some gentle correction. Sometimes we could be having a lot more fun if we knew the tips and tricks others had to offer. Sometimes improving ourselves is hard but worth it. Sometimes bitter medicine is the only thing that will cure an ailment.
Shots hurt. People avoid them because they aren’t fun–what parent wants to expose their child to the painful, stressful situation of getting stabbed with needles? (What parent looks forward to the yearly flu shot themselves?)
We naturally flinch back from criticism. There are many times when we swear we don’t want it, don’t need it, can’t bear it! In the moment, it is incredibly difficult to be confronted with someone basically implying that you should change something integral to yourself–your art. No one likes to feel like they’re being picked apart for weaknesses, definitely not.
But sometimes a single comment can make a massive difference in your life–even when you didn’t want it at first.
All my life, I have been helped along by teachers, family, and friends who refused to settle for patting me on the back. The people who mean the most to me, who I most credit with getting me where I am today, are not the people who just told me I was good at things. They’re the people who told me I was good at things BUT. They people who challenged me to not just sail through life or even coast in my hobbies, content with the level I entered on–they’re the people who had faith in me and trust that I could refine my skills, could have even more fun IF I took that next step, challenged myself to go a bit harder… They’re the people who took the time not just to skim over my writing and slap a thumbs up on it, but the people who thought hard enough about it go: “This story was good, but have you thought about…”
Today, I’m a professor of English because I started writing fanfiction when I was 11 years old. Because I started posting fanfiction when I was 13. Because at 14 years old, someone–without being asked–taught me the correct way to format dialogue and how to strengthen my dialogue tags. Because at 15, someone flat out laughed to tears at a cliche metaphor I’d extended too far and I was ashamed, but they taught me something else to try instead. Because by 18, I’d received–and taken–enough unsolicited writing advice to land myself the highest paying on-campus tutoring job my university offered. Because by 19, someone challenged me to write something I told them was impossible for me. Because by 20, that impossible writing became the sample that got me accepted to grad school. Because by 21, I was furious enough at the criticism I received from my creative writing masters classmates to write a thesis so feverishly overwhelming that it inspired one of the foremost postmodern poets in the country. Because by 27, it was brutally honest criticism that gave me the gall to finally leave an abusive job and apply for a teaching position. Because by 30, I got to sit at a public literary journal volume launch and watch an entire class of my creative writing students become published authors.
And even though I joked about why I was writing this, and even though I’m really not, at the heart of it, trying to persuade any one person over to my side, I hope it’s clear how much of a labor of love this post is. How passionate I am about this topic.
This whole thing is a drawn-out plea: Please, do not let fandom creation sites become a place where no one offers advice unless it is begged for. Do not miss your chance to help someone else improve. Do not close the door to criticism that could change your life. Do not let fear of short-term discouragement prevent you from seeking long-term growth. Do not let the immediate side effects cloud your view of the global benefits.
Inoculate yourselves with good advice as a shield against the very hard future.
A dearth of criticism will not make fandom a better place. It will just make it a quieter one.
#anyone want to take bets on how long it takes someone to get outraged#skip reading the actual argument itself#and put something in the replies or my ask box that was blatantly answered on this post itself#it's 4am so like I give it about ten minutes#writing#fanfiction#constructive criticism#I tire more each day of tumblr's bizarre ways of thinking#like could you imagine if this was the attitude in any other hobby#nah bro#I know I almost broke my arm back there but I don't want any skateboarding advice#I got this#yeah I know the horse has broken loose and is kicking people but have you tried NOT commenting on that#you didn't brace your sculpture correctly and it no longer resembles what the art gallery expected#Jesus ask before you give concrit for once
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If you don't respect other people in the fandom, I think you should leave. This is a healthy fandom that people have been building for so long and we don't need any influencers. The people who shipirl, they didn't SEND any of their contents to the people and keep it low. It has been this way since forever, people who ship, people who don't, they respect each other and don't call each other out. If you can't see it this way, I'm sorry, this place isn't for you.
I’ll humor you, anon, even though I already said that I’m not interested in debating with unmovable people when I myself an unmovable on this subject, I’ll still humor your argument here.
So let’s unpack it.
First off, no one has control over who participates in fandom on this website, and no one has control over how they participate in fandom on this website; this means that I don’t have control and neither do you. So you gotta realize how absolutely juvenile and entitled you sound when you say I should “just leave” the fandom if I don’t like it. This is why I block people instead of saying “hey get out of here no one likes you!” because if I don’t want to see it then I’m going to remove it myself and not expect people to bend to my will.
Secondly, yes RPF/RPS has always been around but guess what? It shouldn’t be. And I’m going to be critical of it for forever because it’s gross and disrespectful. I’m not going to stop making my views and my criticisms known about it because being silent about it doesn’t effect change. Same goes with all criticism. If we aren’t critical of toxic behavior, if we don’t speak up against it we are allowing it to happen and nothing will change. And this does need to change. Criticism is crucial to all progress. No one is immune to it and no one should be immune to it (except like...children who haven’t learned better yet). Saying “this is just the way it’s always been” doesn’t mean it’s what’s right.
I’m not going to be silent on this subject just because it makes disrespectful people feel disrespected.
Thirdly, in that post I wrote “writing fic about them is still a form of objectification even if they aren’t going to see it”. That wasn’t an accident. I wrote that on purpose. It was a precise and direct decision. I know the main argument against RPF/RPS is the fact that it makes the RL people being objectified and disrespected uncomfortable. That argument holds value but that is. not. the. only. reason. I. am. anti-rpf/rps. I will not trust or respect someone who thinks it is okay to take a real life person’s identity and mold it to their own design. This is why I wrote “writing fic” and not “writing romantic/smutty fic” because it’s STILL objectification; it’s STILL taking someone’s self and making it dance like a puppet; it’s STILL not okay. I do not trust a person who justifies this behavior. I do not trust or respect a person willing to turn someone they supposedly respect into a fictional character who does their fucking bidding. Having the person’s consent is only half the issue with RPF/RPS. So I don’t fucking care if IRL shippers keep their ship to themselves (historically they do not and you’re dead wrong about that) I still think they are gross for treating real people like action figures in their own barbie dream house.
Fourth, anti-rpf discourse has also been around for a while so I don’t know what fucking rock you’ve been living under if you believe that everyone in fandom is just tolerant of each other’s shitty behavior all the time. The fact that your sending this to my BFU blog...? Have you not been participating in the BFU fandom for long because it’s a common subject here. It’s well fleshed out in this fandom.
Lastly, that post was tagged “anti-rpf” on my Danny blog. I did not reblog a rpf/rps blog’s content. I did not call out a specific person. My main point is that I do not want to see that shit so I will block people for it, because I’m not going to argue with unmovable people.
This isn’t harassment
This isn’t bullying
This is sparta criticism
If someone reads that post and feels attacked it’s because they are being criticized for their choices not their identity. And that’s good. People do need to feel accountable. People do need to be criticized. Including me! Do I consider this ask harassment or bullying? Hell no. It’s also criticism. It’s criticism that I heartily disagree with but it’s still criticism.
So, if you don’t want to see these types a posts then why don’t you take a leaf out of my book and block me! Because you’re never going to convince me to stop criticizing this. Danny Gonzalez himself could say that he thinks RPF/RPS is okay and I would disagree with him, argue with him, and call him gross for believing that.
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Hey, Have You Heard About This Coronavirus Thing? Crazy Shit, Right? (Ferret/Shower Cap)
History texts depicting this period will read like deranged Choose Your Adventure books written by sadists; no matter how frantically you flip backwards, you just can’t seem to find the page when you still had the option to vote for the really smart lady with the email server. Anyway, join me for a quick news round-up, it won’t take long, and when we’re done, I give you permission to run away to join a roving Thai monkey street gang.
(As always, find this post WITH nifty news links here: http://showercapblog.com/hey-have-you-heard-about-this-coronavirus-thing-crazy-shit-right/)
For those of you just waking up from a Rip Van Winkle nap, the United States is facing a massive, coast-to-coast, health crisis, whose tragic consequences have exploded exponentially because our Idiot Manchild President really believed, in that churning campground septic tank he calls a mind, that protecting his personal approval ratings by understating the problem was more important than the health and safety of the American public. I don’t know what you can call that but murder. On the one hand, it’s weird to say “wow, the President murdered a bunch Americans through boneheaded, unforgivably selfish, neglect,” but we already saw him get away with precisely that crime in Puerto Rico, so here we are.
Now, I have come to expect malice from the federal government under Hairplug Himmler, but sometimes their capacity for raw, senseless, evil still shocks me. This is my way of saying that, until they got fucking caught, the Department of, and Someone Should Slap the Word Out of Their Filthy Mouths, Justice attempted to remove CDC fliers offering potentially life-saving information regarding the coronavirus from...immigration courtrooms. My God. What a small but potent horror. Feels like the work of an ambitious intern in Stephen Miller’s office, doesn’t it? Trying to impress the boss? Just a sinister little trick, to spread a little more pain, a little more misery, a little more death in an already vulnerable, and whatta-coincidence-nonwhite, community? Fuck these awful, awful, people.
It seems President Liposuction Clinic Dumpster has been calling up leading Taliban terrorists on a secret U.S. kill-or-capture list, presumably to trade tips n’ tricks on how to undermine the USA at home and abroad. Now, negotiating with these murderous dirtbags is a big diplomacy no-no (and of course Donnie Dotard got rolled anyway) but in all honestly, if I had access to a secret kill list contact sheet, I’d probably give in to the temptation to make some prank calls. “Is your refrigerator running? Yeah? Are you sure it’s not a FLEET OF DRONES ABOVE YOU RIGHT NOW?”
For Jeff Sessions, the wages of sin turned out to be a faceful of Trump-branded fecal matter, as the Candycorn Skidmark, whose campaign Ol’ Beauregard embraced way back before fascism was cool in conservative circles, endorsed his opponent in the coming Alabama Senate runoff. How must it feel to have been the very fellow who flipped the switch on the Rube Goldberg/Mousetrap Board Game device that destroyed America, and to watch the machine work its destructive magic for years, only to realize it’s also got one special crotch punt in store for just you personally. I’d feel bad for Bilbo Bigot, if it he weren’t, y’know, one of the very worst people alive.
Alex Jones got arrested for drunk driving, and, upon his release, got right back to work selling...sigh...selling some bullshit toothpaste that he’s telling the rubes magically cures the coronavirus. Authorities are cracking down on Jones and fellow charlatan Jim Bakker over their odious snake oil peddling enterprises, but I don’t know what’s more shocking and disappointing to me, that there are such vile fuckwads in the world, who seek to profit off the fear of the misinformed during times of crisis, or that said fuckwads have so many blind, willing, disciples?
Speaking of fuckwads, Ron Johnson seems to have backed down, for now at any rate, from his quest to stage a show trial for Hunter Biden in the U.S Senate. And that’s awesome and all, but never forget how ready, how eager, RoJo has been, to corruptly manipulate the vast powers of the government for his democracy-stomping Turdlord’s political benefit. Ron is the kind of fellow you’d have found stamping documents outside trains bound for Dachau.
But yeah, I suppose the big story is still that coronavirus thing. Great choice on evolution’s part, the way symptoms don’t necessarily manifest right away, so we can spread that shit around without knowing we’re even infected. Anyway, I made sure to thoroughly disinfect tonight’s blog before posting, and medical professionals inform me that though the virus can linger on plastic and metal surfaces for as long as days, it cannot survive on a poo joke, so please rest easy, knowing you can safely consume this content in comfort. Unless you're reading it next to somebody with the coronavirus, but that's on you, kid.
The Shart Administration has actually slowed progress in this crucial fight, by classifying high-level coronavirus meetings, because they’re more worried about congressional oversight of their crimes n’ fuckups than they are about OUR LIVES, and y’know what, I do believe I’ll be voting Democrat this November.
And of course, many conservatives are more concerned with blaming the virus on the Chinese than preventing its spread; by gum, there’s no need to abandon yer principles, even when your ineptitude is getting countless folks sick and/or killed! “We may be a cabal of dangerously incompetent assclowns, but let none forget that we are also RACIST assclowns!”
With the stock market finally catching up to the rest of the world in noticing a pudding-brained twit had inexplicably been placed in charge of the most powerful nation in history, Pumpkin Spice Pol Pot oozed into the Oval Office for a prime time speech, and if his goal was “fuck up the entire world as much as humanly possible in ten short minutes,” then he succeeded beyond his wildest imaginings.
It was a speech that completely failed to reassure, instead reminding the world that this drooling manbaby, this bathtub drain hair clog in an ill-fitting suit, truly is President of the Entire United Fucking States, and not only is he light years out of his element but he’s probably spending most of his time practicing his “the world is ending, you have to go out with me now” phone call to Salma Hayek rather than pursuing desperately-needed solutions.
Despite being on teleprompter, with the text of the fucking speech right fucking in front of him, Dorito Mussolini somehow managed to catastrophically misrepresent his own administration’s policies, dropping one more cartoon anvil on the stock market’s already-throughly-bludgeoned ballsack. This is, of course, on top of nonsensical non-solutions like banning travel from Europe, when the virus had already had weeks to spread throughout the country thanks to presidential bungling and neglect.
For 73 years, this cretin has somehow never encountered a problem he couldn’t lie, buy, or bully his way out of, but COVID-19 doesn’t care how much money your daddy gave you, little man. And may I say, on behalf of the thousands who are about to become sick, fuck you. Fuck you eternally with a rusty shovel, for daring to take on such an important job without the skills, temperament, or character to execute its duties. Asshole.
In contrast, Smilin’ Joe Biden gave a speech of his own; calm, collected, solemn, and filled with concrete steps to address the problems facing the nation. And America collectively went, “Oh right, it’s actually highly abnormal to have a gibbering, rectum-mouthed, dolt for a President, and we can actually have a decent, competent, one again! Soon!” It was like leadership porn. I got aroused.
Meanwhile, our already-hopelessly-overmatched Golf Cheat in Chief is multitasking, lobbing missiles at Iran-backed militias in Iraq. I’m just hoping the buttons on his desk are clearly labeled, y’know? Or at least that there’s somebody hanging around who can tackle him before he bombs Seattle and launches 500 respirators at Tehran.
So, um, in the midst of this once-in-generation shitstorm, I guess Sarah Palin dressed up in a bear suit to perform “Baby Got Back” on a reality television program. I’m not a religious person, honestly, but I’m increasingly open to the idea that there is a God, and that s/he’s been on a meth bender since mid-2016.
Social distancing is the zany new anti-dance craze sweeping the nation as we all do our damndest to not get sick and die! As a result, public gatherings are getting called off left and right. March Madness, MLB, NBA, PGA, SXSW, Broadway...personally, I don’t think I fully appreciated the scope of this crisis until I saw the XFL shut down their season. Like, are we even America anymore without one billionaire’s sad attempt to reboot his once-failed vanity project?
As sensible organizations all over the world made painful but obviously necessary sacrifices to, y’know, slow the spread of a deadly disease and save lives, naturally the Velveeta Vulgarian was among the last holdouts, canceling his precious hate rallies only grudgingly, because the safety of even his own fervent base is secondary to the sugar rush of their rageful cheers, filling, if only for a moment, that empty space within him where most people have a soul.
Now more than ever, I am brimming over with gratitude that we took the House back in 2018. Thank god there’s a little leadership, a little accountability, a little common frickin’ sense in Washington now. And thank god for Katie Porter, one of the standouts in a freshman class packed with absolute ass-kickers, cornering the CDC chief into exercising his legal authority to make coronavirus testing free for every American. Imagine if Kevin McCarthy were running the House right now. He’d be fleeing from reporters, in mismatched loafers, trying to sell the public on a bill bailing out nothing but Trump University and Marm-a-Lago.
Well, the Emperor of Hemorrhoids finally buckled and declared (acknowledged) a state of emergency over the coronavirus, which is admittedly a pleasant change from his previous “do everything I possibly can to help the fucker spread” position. We’re still woefully behind, and god only knows how deeply the virus has penetrated while the doddering old bastard diddled and dawdled, but the good news is, the President of the United States finally moved his bloated ass out of the road so we can get to work cleaning up his mess, which is, I suppose, as close to an act of kindness as he’s come in his entire misspent, treacherous, life.
In the middle of today’s press conference, Vice President Mike Pants paused to give Boss Turdworm a rhetorical handjob seemingly designed to last through an entire 14-day quarantine. Jeeeeesus. Mikey Hairshirt was a man once. Not much of one, to be certain, but at least he didn’t have to worry about the possibility of bored schoolchildren pouring salt on him, which would of course prove swiftly fatal in his current state.
A reporter asked Government Cheese Goebbels, “Hey, if you’re not too busy fellating yourself over fucking up slightly less than you’ve been fucking up for weeks, why the fuck did you close down the pandemic office, you nation-wrecking clod?” and he whinged that the question was “nasty,” before reiterating his refusal to take responsibility for the things that are, objectively, his fault. I truly do not understand how this trembling coward’s approval rating isn’t 0%
So Nancy Pelosi spent the week trying to hammer out an emergency bill with Steve Mnuchin, but Republicans naturally balked at many necessary measures. It’s a tricky spot for the GOP; they can’t risk the mass-extermination of the underpaid labor/consumer force that keeps their donor class filthy rich, but doing anything to improve working folks’ lives is just instinctually anathematic to them. But at the time of posting, it does appear as though a deal has been reached, let’s hope no spray-tanned morons fuck it up, right?
In conclusion, I am sick of typing the word “coronavirus,” and you are sick of reading it, so let’s let’s all retreat to our quarantines for the weekend, okay? Enjoy the solitude! Read that novel you bought back in college! Watch that 425-minute Russian film set in a fish cannery! Hey, you can even peruse the archives at showercapblog.com if you feel like reliving just how the fuck it all came to this! Anyway, if you don’t hear from me for a bit, fear not, I’m turning production of this blog over to Jared Kushner, I’m sure he’ll figure it out.
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The Stories We Write (Final)
COMPLETED MASTERLIST HERE
Enjoy!
***************************
A short but politely worded message on Steve and Bucky’s Tumblr gave the name and address of the hotel Tony was staying at, and when they checked at the front desk to ask about a room number, the receptionist handed over a key and directed them towards the stairs.
Steve’s hand shook a little when he tried to fit the key in the door, and Bucky turned him around for a quick kiss. “S’alright, Stevie.” he murmured. “Don’t worry. He wouldn’a messaged us if he if he didn’t want to see us. Definitely wouldn’a given us a key. It’s alright.”
“I guess.” Steve took a deep breath. “This is just big, right? If he wants to be with us then everything’s gonna change and if he doesn’t want to be with us--”
“Hey hey hey.” Bucky slid his fingers into Steve’s hair and pushed their foreheads together, leaving tiny kisses on Steve’s nose and cheeks. “No sense stressin’ bout it, losin’ your hair ain’t gonna change what’s gonna happen when we open that door. Besides, if you go bald m’gonna leave you so cut it out.”
“You’d leave me if I went bald, Bucky?” Despite his nervousness, Steve smiled a little. “That hurts me deep, babe. Who knew you were so shallow?”
“Course I’m shallow.” Bucky murmured over another kiss. “S’why I didn’t let ya fuck me till you were all big and golden and muscly.”
“Christ, I hate you.” Steve laughed, his shoulders slumping in relief. “Okay, let’s do this.”
“Let’s do this.”
Steve’s hand was still shaking a little, but the door opened this time at least and together they stepped into a ridiculously plush hotel suite.
“Wow.” Bucky whistled quietly as they took it all in-- the living room with over stuffed couches, a small but fully capable kitchen with a bar, double doors that led to the bedroom and sliding glass doors that opened onto a balcony. “When Tony runs away, he does it in style, huh? This is nicer than all my apartments I’ve ever lived in combined.”
“And then some.” Steve added. “It might be nicer than our room at the Tower, too.”
“Yeah well, I’m a billionaire so it’s not like I’m going to camp out in a Motel 6.” Tony spoke from a door neither had noticed, standing on top of a step that led into an adjoining room. “And running away makes it sound like I’m throwing a tantrum because a sibling stole my toy. I prefer the term strategically retreating. Little more professional.”
“Oh, Tony...” Steve tried not to sound so sad, but Tony was doing that thing that he did when he was uneasy, unleashing that cutting wit and a healthy dose of sarcastic humour to cover how badly he really just wanted to bolt out the door and hide somewhere.
A quick glance at Bucky to confirm and Bucky nodded slightly. He knew what Tony was doing too.
“Well.” Bucky cleared his throat, consciously softening his voice and tipping his head down so he was looking at Tony through his lashes. “You strategically retreat to some pretty great places. Who did ya hafta flirt with to get a suite like this for this long?”
“No one.” Tony’s expression didn’t waver as he looked them over. “I own the hotel. The one next door too. Real easy to get a room when it’s my name on the deed.”
“I--” Steve didn’t know what to say to that. “Well um-- it’s a great room. You made a uh-- a great real estate choice. Um… kudos.”
Bucky sent Steve a scathing look, mouthing kudos?!? but Tony's lips twitched in what might have been a smile so maybe it would be alright.
“This is actually your room.” He said after a minute, motioning around the space. “I’m in the adjoining room. Didn’t know if I was ready to handle you guys in close quarters and I wanted a door to slam if you pissed me off.”
“That’s… fair.” Bucky sat down on one of the couches, grabbing Steve’s belt and yanking him down as well. “And um--”
“So are you considering doing the fan fiction thing full time?” Tony interrupted. “Because I don’t think you should quit your day jobs quite yet. You’re better at saving the world than you are at putting sentences together.”
“Told you.” Bucky punched Steve’s shoulder. “Told you I can barely take a phone message, definitely can’t write a story.”
“Okay but in our defense--” Steve smiled hesitantly, trying to gauge Tony’s mood. “It’s been seventy somethin’ years since we were in school and having to do this sort of thing all the time.”
“Sentences haven't changed all that much, not valid.” Tony shook his head, but he uncrossed his arms at least, leaned against the door frame instead of standing so stiffly. “But I mean, it wasn’t the worst format I’ve seen. At least you used paragraphs and attempted punctuation.”
“Yeah yeah, so our grammar wasn’t all that great.” Bucky chewed at the inside of his cheek nervously. “But what about the words, were those alright?” Beside him, Steve went very very still, sitting ram rod straight on the couch and holding his breath. “Cos you know that’s--that’s what was important about it. Not the format, but the words.”
Tony stared down at the floor for a long time before he sort of collapsed onto the step leading into their room, dragging his fingers through his hair and destroying the perfectly crafted style.
“Tony?” Steve asked quietly when Tony didn’t say anything another minute or two. “Why didn’t you ever just tell us how you felt? We had no idea for so long, why didn’t you say something? Anything?”
Tony sighed, clasped his hands between his knees and didn’t meet their eyes when he said, “Steve, I’ve been in love with you for years. Since New York.” Steve made a wounded sort of noise and Tony nodded. “And Bucky, I had a crush on you when I was like fourteen. Steve was this perfect image of Captain America that I would never measure up to, but Bucky, all those stories from the Commandos and Aunt Peggy-- you just seemed real. Like you would like me and I’m a little embarrassed to admit the first few people I kissed looked a whole lot like you, I’m a real sucker for all that hair and those blue eyes.”
Bucky tried not to grin so big, and Steve elbowed him sharply when he ended up looking goofy anyway. “Sorry.” he muttered. “But ha-ha I was Tony’s teenage crush.”
“Yeah, you’re a real heart-throb.” Steve hissed back.
“Anyway.” Tony cleared his throat loudly and both their heads snapped around to look at him again. “Anyway, after New York I thought Steve and I might have a chance, you know? You were a lot more human than the stories made you out to be and we laughed and we talked and you used to hang out with me--”
“And then I showed back up.” Bucky finished.
“And then you showed back up.” Tony confirmed. “And Steve, you were gone. Out the door like a shot looking for Bucky and announcing your love on live TV and wearing matching holiday sweaters and I--” he spread his hands in a what now sort of gesture. “--how was I going to compete with that? Everyone knew Cap and Sergeant Barnes had been a love story. Even the strongest anti-gay jerks out there applauded when you two were reunited. A love story that literally spans a century? I can’t compete with that.”
“Tony.” Steve started up off the couch, determined to go and just wrap Tony in a hug but Bucky stopped him, shook his head and muttered, “Let him finish.”
“The uh-- the writing started out as a weird sort of journal.” Tony said next, deciding to just get it all out in the open at once. “I don’t like to hand write things and so I thought about starting a blog, some place to dump my thoughts into the void. Tumblr seemed safe because it’s anonymous and with a little encryption the blog wouldn’t ever be traceable. Plus, it's a platform for everyone else that's sort of obsessed with you two, so I fit right in.”
A self deprecating laugh, and god they hated it.
“Never once did I think you would find it.” He added. “Never in a million years would I think that you two would not only stumble onto fan fiction but also onto my specific blog and then realize that it was in fact my blog. What are the odds of that happening?”
“And never once--” quieter now. “-- did I think you’d return my feelings and try to tell me via fan fiction. This whole thing has been fucking ridiculous and every time I think about it, it gets a little more ridiculous and now I’m hiding in a hotel because I’ve been too fucking embarrassed to even look you two in the face.”
Tony still didn’t look right at them, his gaze trained on a spot on the floor in front of the couch. “And now here we are. That’s the whole-- the whole thing.”
Bucky and Steve exchanged a look, came to an agreement via eye contact and raised eyebrows and Tony about jumped out of his skin when there was suddenly a super soldier on either side of him, crowding onto the step and winding their arms around his waist.
“What--what are you guys doing?” he squeaked and Steve brushed his fingers through the silver at Tony’s temples before pressing a gentle kiss to the strands. “Steve?”
“We suck at writing fan fiction.” Steve squeezed at Tony’s side. “I mean really suck. I had to talk Bucky out of using the f-word but lost the battle on hump. We are not good at it.”
“The F-word?” Tony repeated.
“Flaccid.” Bucky answered helpfully and Tony clapped a hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t scream. “Yeah, that was about Stevie’s reaction, too. We ain’t any good at this sorta thing, Tony. Not at writin’, not like you are.”
“The stories you write made me cry.” Steve admitted, his lips moving against Tony’s ear. “The way you wrote about us falling in love and then having to say goodbye? Sweetheart, it killed me.”
“And all th’ones bout thinking I was okay even though I’m all scarred.” Bucky added. “Not carin’ bout my arm, holdin’ me when I had nightmares. We must’a fallen in love with you a thousand different times, baby.”
“I-- you-- um--” Tony’s eyes widened helplessly. “I don’t--”
“And if we gotta write you a hundred more fics to prove how much we love you, then that’s what we’re going to do.” Steve said firmly, cupping Tony’s jaw so he couldn’t look away. “Do you understand? Bucky and I had this talk already. Sure, we stumbled onto your blog by accident, and Bucky was the one to realize it was you, but as soon as we knew it was you we sat and talked about what we wanted.”
“We weren’t gonna go ahead with nothin’ if we weren’t on the same page.” Bucky tucked his forehead into Tony’s shoulder. “Stevie told me that he’d wanted ya before I came home and I told him I’d wanted ya about since the first time you smiled at me.”
“In retrospect we should have just told you how we felt. We probably could’a saved the conversation about fan fiction for after we were together for a while, you know?” Steve lifted the back of Tony’s shirt to touch skin, humming contentedly when Tony leaned into the touch. “But instead we thought if we tried to court you the way you talked about in the fics, then maybe you would figure it out.”
“Didn’t think you’d get embarrassed.” Bucky shifted so more of him was pressing into Tony’s side. “Didn’t think you would think we were makin’ fun of you, you know? We were never makin’ fun of you, sugar.”
“It’s a little embarrassing to know you guys were basically reading my diary.” Tony said slowly, tipping his head to the side when Bucky’s mouth landed at the base of his throat. “And it wasn’t like I was just waxing poetic about your muscles, I wrote some pretty porny stuff.”
“We know.” Steve sounded like he was smiling. “We liked it.”
“We sure did.” Bucky was grinning too, rubbing light circles into Tony’s stomach with his right hand, tightening the gears of his left arm to budge them all closer together. “But we liked it more when ya talked bout how much ya loved us.”
“Waking up in the morning and just holding each other.” Steve whispered. “Taking showers and washing each other’s hair.”
“Making out during movie nights.” Bucky waggled his eyebrows mischievously. “All th’little things that people in love get to do. Those fics were the best.”
“We tried to figure out what you liked to put it in our fic.” A shy confession from Steve. “And we aren’t as good at it as you are, but we meant every word.”
“Every word.” Bucky emphasized, then met Steve’s eyes for a second and added, “We love you, baby doll.”
“We do, Tony.” Steve nodded quickly. “Sweetheart, we are just crazy about you. Have been for ages. And if we fucked all this up and have to start over with you, we will. No crazy plots and schemes from fan fiction--”
“-- no terrible one liners that sound like they are from a porno--”
“--no weird stalking you on Tumblr--”
“-- or spamming your account with comments--”
“Or using weird words to describe sexy times--”
Tony laughed then, and Steve and Bucky sighed in relief. “You guys are dorks. You don’t have to stop doing any of that. You were acting terrible and cheesy and weird but you know--” he shrugged. “I sort of liked it. Before I realized you were quoting my own fan fiction at me, I was pretty flattered by all the attention.”
“We’re gonna flatter the shit outta ya.” Bucky swore and Steve groaned out loud. “What Bucky means is--”
“No no.” Bucky cut in. “I stand by what I said. Tony knows what I meant.”
“I do know what you mean.” Tony wet his lips uncertainly, then leaned in and kissed Steve, pulling away after a few seconds to turn and kiss Bucky as well. “And I’m fully on board.”
“Yeah?” Steve brought him back for another kiss, nibbling across a plush bottom lip longingly. “We didn’t screw this up terribly? You still want to give us a chance?”
“You screwed it up pretty badly.” Tony went back to Bucky, shivering when metal fingers traced along his jaw and into his hair. “But I suppose I didn’t have to strategically retreat and ignore all your attempts to reach me for a few weeks either.”
“You got nothin’ to apologize for.” Bucky’s moan was more of a rumble when Tony sucked lightly at his tongue. “Let us do the apologizin’ and the makin’ up and we’ll take care of it all, yeah?”
“Well I mean, he could apologize for one thing.” Steve countered, and when Tony started to pull away, he rushed to finish-- “You’ve been writing all this sexy stuff about us and never once hit us up to try it out together. For all you know, you’ve been writing us all wrong.”
“Ohhhh.” Bucky’s pale eyes lit in agreement. “He’s right! Tony! You are just makin’ things up about us, where’s your integrity as writer? Should’a done some research, what if I was offended by how you wrote me?”
“Research?” Tony repeated in disbelief. “Offended?”
“The way I see it,” Steve stood to his feet smoothly, bringing Tony and Bucky with him. “The only way to avoid this problem is to do some hands on research for your next fic.”
“My next fic?” A little yelp as Tony found himself being herded towards the bed. “Hands on research?”
“You aren’t done writin’ are ya?” Bucky kicked his shoes off and fell back onto the bed, holding his arms open for Tony and grinning when the genius climbed up on the bed as well. “Don’t you got more ideas?”
“I have--” Tony flattened his palm on Bucky’s chest, tensing his fingers as the muscles twitched beneath his palm. “Wow. I have so many ideas for so many more fics.”
“Well then this is our chance to inform you that we expect our representation in these future fics to be one hundred percent accurate.” Steve deadpanned. “And that will require hands on research.”
“Have you two been reading college au’s?” Tony asked suspiciously. “Because this sounds like a line from a college au where research and study sessions end in sex.”
“Damn Stevie.” Bucky winked and Tony almost melted. “He’s onto us.”
“We’ve been reading a bunch of “oh no there’s only one bed” fics as well.” Steve slipped onto the bed next to them and budging a kiss to Tony’s forehead. “Interesting how real life follows fic plot lines so often.”
“There’s actually two beds.” Tony pointed out. “I reserved two rooms--”
Bucky flung his shoe at the adjoining door and it hit with a thwack, shutting the door between the rooms. “Oh look at that, now there’s only one bed.”
“Oh my god.”
“Hashtag platonic bed sharing.” Another kiss at Tony’s temple. “If that’s what you want. We’re just happy we didn’t lose you, sweetheart.”
“Did you just hashtag a --”
“Sweet thing.” Bucky interrupted. “Hashtag extreme cuddling. Stop talking and come here.”
“Oh my god--!” Tony’s shout of laughter was muffled by an flurry of kisses-- and accompanying terrible fan fiction lines-- from both the soldiers. “After we’re done, I’m going to tell you two exactly why you’re dorks.”
“That’s fair.”
“Yeah, we probably deserve that.”
“Hashtag happily ever after.”
“Oh for fucks sake--”
*********************
*********************
“Hey.” Later, after some not platonic bed sharing, Tony stretched happily and snuggled into Bucky's chest. “Did you guys ever read anything other than reader-inserts?”
“We started off just reading stuff about us.” Steve climbed back in bed and mouthed kisses across Tony’s shoulder before sitting up and kissing Bucky as well, handing Tony a bottle of water. “Then sorta fell into the reader inserts when Bucky discovered Yoolyn--”
Tony spit water onto Bucky when he started laughing and Bucky just rolled his eyes. “Yep. That was a fun day. Stevie thought Yoolyn was an X men. Good times.”
“An X men!” Tony laughed even louder. “Oh my god!”
“Why are you asking about what else we read, baby?” Steve brought the conversation back around, pulling Tony towards him so Bucky could step away to clean up. “Should we have been reading other things? Cos I’ll be honest, once we found your stuff we stopped reading everything else.”
“I was just wondering if you guys had stumbled onto stuckony fan fiction yet.” A tremor ran through Tony’s body when Steve’s big hand landed on his lower back then slipped down to his read, palming over the curve and squeezing lightly.
“Stuckony.” Bucky repeated. “Is that like Stucky but with you added on?”
“That’s exactly what it is.” Tony ducked his head so they wouldn’t see how goofy his smile got when Bucky got back in bed and he was suddenly squashed between them.
“Super soldier sandwich.” Steve teased and Tony turned bright red. “You like that?”
“So much.” he mumbled and Bucky hugged him tight, smiling into the back of his neck. “Anyway, stuckony fan fiction is sorta fun to read.”
“Yeah? Whole lot of fun scenarios the three of us get into?” Steve pulled the blankets up around Tony’s shoulders. “Lot’s of trouble?”
“Lots of trouble.” Tony confirmed, still pink from the sandwich comment. “Could be fun to maybe read together.”
“We can read whatever ya want.” Bucky confirmed. “And if ya want to write more bout us that’s okay too. Whatever stories you write is fine with us.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Steve laughed a little. “Especially if they run the same lines as that one you wrote where we find you wearing lingerie beneath your clothes.”
“Oh god, kill me.” Tony tried to hide under the covers. “That was-- I didn’t-- I don’t want to-- that was definitely-- I mean--” he groaned. “Damn it. Of course you guys found that one.”
“And read it like a dozen times.”
“At least a dozen times, yes.”
“Ugh wonderful.” Tony closed his eyes and let himself drift for a minute. “This is all I ever wanted, you know? This right here.”
“We got you, babe.” Steve murmured and Bucky whispered into Tony’s ear in agreement. “We got you.”
**************
Epilogue
**************
“I am mega hot as a pirate.” Bucky announced loudly. “I should get some tattoos, should I get some tattoos? Also, swords. Also, can we start calling me Bronco?”
“Sweetheart, no one is going to call you Bronco.” Steve bent and kissed his forehead, and then leaned over and kissed Tony as well. “But Tony, I wouldn’t hate if you stuttered a little when you called me Captain, that little stammer is so sweet.”
“I’ve never stuttered in my life.” Tony objected. “I dunno what that author was thinking but I was definitely never so innocent that a kiss in a garden beneath a tree would make me fall in love or make me stutter like that.”
“Alright, but are you bloodthirsty enough to leave Stane to burn in a warehouse while sipping scotch, though?” Bucky raised his eyebrows. “Randy enough to let me fuck ya at a waterfall on some island where Thor wears a loincloth?”
“Okay you know what?” Tony jumped to his feet and snatched Bucky and Steve’s phones out of their hands. “You guys aren’t allowed to read fan fiction anymore. Fandom card rejected, this was a terrible idea.”
“But baby!” Steve pouted playfully. “I really really want to show you how to sharpen sword and I don’t mean the used to kill people, I mean the one in my- ahem- scabbard.”
“REJECTED!” Tony said louder and stomped out of the room. “Stupid super soldiers, ruining the things I love to read.”
“Aw sweet thing come back!” Bucky called. “I’ll take you for a ride! You wanna ride on the Bronco?”
“Nah, he wants his Captain to teach him how to be a husband!” Steve cackled. “Tony! Come back! I want to take you roughly against the ships wheel!!”
And Sam, from the doorway because he had the unfortunate habit of walking into the wrong conversations at the wrong time-- “What in the hell---?”
********************
SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE FIC!
If you loved what you read, BUY ME A KO-FI!
********************
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Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)
“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”
“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”
Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.
“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”
“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”
“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”
“i just hope miku’s okay...”
“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”
“please stop breathing”
Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS
XYLOPHONE RIFF
THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT
XYLOPHONE RIFF
“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”
“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”
“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”
“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”
In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.
> Tsubasa has joined the party.
“FRIENDSHIP!”
“fweindship.”
“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”
“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”
“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”
Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.
Meanwhile, at night.
Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.
“.........................hey miku......”
“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”
“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”
“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”
“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”
They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.
Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...
Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.
“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”
“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”
“wait, whats that crying”
Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.
“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”
Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.
But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.
The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.
“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”
Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.
“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”
The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.
Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...
...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.
“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”
“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”
“maybe we’re born with it”
“maybe its maybeline”
“maybeline...”
Meanwhile...
A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)
“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”
“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”
“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”
“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”
“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”
“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”
“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”
Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.
No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.
In the midst of this pain...
Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.
“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”
“damn. that’s some good piss.”
She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?
Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...
Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.
Back to Lydian:
“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”
“B. A. D.”
“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”
“yeah. you are.”
“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”
“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”
“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”
“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”
Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.
“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”
The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.
Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.
PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.
“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”
“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”
They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...
“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”
“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”
“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”
It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.
But no, instead, we get this.
youtube
Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.
The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.
Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.
The main antagonist of the series, everybody.
She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:
“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”
“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”
“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”
“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”
“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”
“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”
“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”
“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”
“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”
“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”
“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”
“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”
“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”
“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”
“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”
“LEAVE.”
“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”
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hello! I don't know if you're still on the blog or will be in some time, but I still have to at least try. I just had my rewatch of glee for the first time in 4 years, and it woke some buried feelings up again lmao. One of the things i most strongly feel for is Britt's class president run. I know she would've done more things during it, yknow? Like she prepared for the position and had a solid plan for it. I really feel like they wasted her potential in s3. Do you think you would rewrite it?
Hey, @randomizepersonality!
Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to you. Limited internet these days.
I, too, am one who is completely disappointed by Brittany’s S3 storyline and how the writers absolutely dropped the ball when it came to her class presidency.
Negativity about Glee writing under the cut.
______
In episode 3x02, the writers clearly establish that Brittany’s interest in the class presidency isn’t a lark or something she is doing just for the hell of it. The platform she pushes for Kurt is anti-bullying, pro-inclusion—and she has a dog in the fight, because she wants herself, Santana, Kurt, and all the other LGBTQ kids at the school(plus anyone else who qualifies as “different”) to feel safe being themselves.
Baby Girl has a clear, focused goal, and she feels it is important for her to achieve that goal. As she tells Kurt, “What’s wrong with [being gay]? Look: Ninety-nine percent of the kids at this school are either freaks or closet freaks. The captain of the football squad? He gets the job, but he doesn’t represent the people. That’s why we need a unicorn.” She isn’t just talking out of her ass or viewing the presidency as a way to boost Kurt’s (or her own) popularity. She actually wants to accomplish something.
That’s why when Kurt declines to run on her “Project Unicorn” platform, she picks up the banner herself, proudly declaring, “I’m also a unicorn.” The values she’s supporting are ones that are near and dear to her heart, as she knows from personal experience (particularly in regards to her relationship with Santana and Santana’s fears about coming out) how vital it is for kids to feel comfortable in their own skin and how damaging it is when they don’t.
Honestly, what she’s talking about is an extension of the things she both learned for herself and taught to Santana during the Back Six of S2. She’s talking about “embracing all the awesomeness” that one is, promoting acceptance, and spreading love because love makes everything possible. It’s all big time stuff, and even though she’s couching it in unicorn metaphors and glitter, she is serious about what she wants to do.
—which is why it’s so fucking unbelievable that she would completely slack off from that position the second she won the election.
I mean, seriously, the Glee writers, you’re telling me that at the exact time when she and her girlfriend are facing the reprecussions of a vicious public outing, being bullied in the hallways for showing any sort of affection to each other, having to deal with pressure not only coming from their fellow students but even from members of the faculty and administration—I’m looking at you, Will and Figgins—facing up to the Finn Hudsons and Josh Colemans of the world, Brittany would just fuck right off and fail to enact any of the policies or programs she had clearly thought about before? You’re saying that she wouldn’t try to use her power and popularity to try to improve the situation?
Bullshit.
—and especially “bullshit” to then try to make a joke out of her failure, as they do later in the season, when she tells Figgins, “Okay. I now realize I wasted an entire year belaboring the nuances of my fluid teen sexuality, and getting caught up in Lord Tubbington��s Ponzi schemes, and then for a while, I stopped talking, but I don’t want my presidency to be the last one at McKinley! I don’t want that to be my legacy.”
There’s no excuse for them wasting this storyline.
Ideally, they should have allowed her to succeed in what she was trying to do. She could have hosted an anti-bullying rally and brought in Holly Holliday to sing to the student body about how it’s okay to be gay. She could have used her own coolness to shift paradigms, because, after all, she is both the senior class president and most popular girl in school AND a fabulous, bisexual unicorn. She could have organized a “kiss-in” in protest against Figgins’s homophobic PDA policies.
I mean, really, with her creativity and zany genius, the writers could have absolutely gone wild and had her do any number of things to make her world a better place.
Even if they were dead set on having her fail, then they at least could have actually showed her failing—giving her a storyline where balancing academics, extracurriculars, and dealing with the fallout of being outed becomes too much for her to handle, and her ambitions for the class presidency fall by the wayside; letting Kurt confront her about wasting the opportunity she won over him; having her break down and admit that maybe the problem she took on was too big for her to tackle herself and that the world is a worse place than she initially thought; allowing her to display the same kind of depth and humanity that she was afforded in S2.
But instead they muted her for half a season and pushed her into the background at a time when she should have been getting foreground attention, and then they tried to pass off their act of forgetting about Brittany as Brittany forgetting to do anything herself.
That Brittany wasn’t allowed to speak throughout Santana’s outing arc was an indefensible narrative choice. That the writers waited until the very end of the season to come out of nowhere and say, “Guess what? Brittany failed at everything, and y’all should just laugh about it!” was meanspirited and unfunny. Her whole S3 storyline was an exercise in bad writing. TPTB laid narrative threads for her at the beginning of the season but then didn’t weave them into anything. They wasted all of her potential.
So, yeah, all of this going-on is to say that I would absolutely rewrite Brittany’s S3 storyline if given the chance.
I mean, in the Mouseverse, S3 is where I diverge from canon, and there’s a reason for that.
Anyway, thanks for the question! I’m right there with you.
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“ –– wow. ” it’s not so much a critique as it is a g-rated expletive. tripp forces a smile mid-chew and blinks. “ my tastebuds are screaming. gah–– uh, singing. singing. ” he avoids swallowing and as ring-decorated fingers snag a napkin, wide eyes drifting to the tabletop as a small jingle breezes past tensed lips. “ ~ allergic to mushrooms ~ ”
or, alternatively: this is somethin’ new! the caspar slide pt. 2 !! & this time, it’s ‘bout to get funky !! so i’m linc and this is tripp and he’s........ a trip, honestly, so let’s just... yeet on into this ––
( joe keery + 22 + muse 12 ) isn’t that phillip joel “tripp” goodman over there? i heard he joined faction: one after they got back to west ham. it’s funny, ‘cause they were only on the service trip because HIS BANDMATES DUPED HIM INTO THINKING THE SIGN-UP WAS FOR A WOODS-THEMED OPEN MIC GIG. hopefully they fit in there – they’re JAUNTY but also OUTRÉ. oh, i’m sure they’ll be fine.
out the door ! ( tripp goodman: a roadmap )
look up townie family in the dictionary and you’ll find a portrait of the goodmans directly beside. these folks have a looooong flippin’ legacy here in lil’ ole west ham, kansas. it all started with montgomery goodman, a good man, who helped west ham’s founders break ground on this midwestern charmer several centuries ago. and now, the goodmans still live on the same property –– a refurbished farmhouse ( now closer to mcmansion ) surrounded by five acres of roooooollin’ hills. once upon a time, they were farming folk. now, theresa and joel goodman run the town’s one and only veterinary clinic.
honestly, growing up? tripp was a problematic kid. he’d take in frogs from the woods and start his own frog hotels. he’d sneak pets from the clinic to school who “ needed help learning their numbers ”. in class, he’d flick sunflower seeds at the backs of his peers’ heads and, when threatened with discipline, claim he simply “ wanted to see if they’d grow ” . so no, to answer your question–– tripp never really saw the real wrath warranted by his rulebreaking.
in fourth grade, he chose the saxophone as his required instrument. he caused such a commotion in his house, that his parents asked his teachers to suggest something quieter. the viola. the flute. the clarinet. the piano. instruments came and went,;instruments were quickly mastered and abandoned. because dear lord, how many times could they listen to the spongebob theme song played on woodwind ?! on strings ?! once middle school rolled around, little phillip joel knew his way around a whopping total of six instruments, a tally that would only grow in the coming years. eventually, his parents caved and allowed him to keep playing, so long as he respected instrument curfews. they gave song requests to avoid hearing the same pieces on repeat: the goodman household was probably the only one blessed with an oboe-and-beatbox rendition of under the sea. young phillip joel’s take on the issue was simple: not all heroes wore capes.
( tw: domestic unrest, mentions of violence ) theresa and joel split when tripp was 9. just seven months later, tripp’s mother moved in with her girlfriend: tripp’s guitar teacher, ms. lillith. tripp didn’t mind ms. lillith. she was chill. he came to find out she could knock back a chocolate milk almost as fast as he could, and she liked her grilled cheeses with swiss only. his best friend became a thirty-six year old woman who happened to be his mother’s girlfriend. and that was fine. he could dig it. but joel goodman? oh no. his family name was tarnished. the scandal was too much to bear. joel sued for full custody and nearly made it, thanks to hometown politics and loyalties. but then he made one fatal mistake: he crossed his own son.
at 10 years old, fifth grade phillip joel returned home to his father’s after school with three fingernails painted effervescent blue. sidney frasier made me so cool, he gushed as he put his colored nails on proud display. dad, aren’t i so cool? the next day, his dad enrolled him in the town’s peewee football program. he returned home from his first practice with a black eye and a split lip. from a ball, the coach insisted. hit the poor fella square in the face, real strong. phillip joel put up a fight against football; it wasn’t for him. it conflicted with music practice. couldn’t he just play music with ms. lillith instead?
the custody battle persisted. they settled on a parenting schedule. joel contested, consistently, months later. and so the cycle persisted up until phillip joel’s 12th year, when he was knocked out cold on the football field. the broken ribs came from hefty tackles. bruises from the fall. concussion from the impact. but theresa spun it to her advantage: joel had since started coaching the middle school team. this was an instance of parental neglect. and, when the courts didn’t comply, she instructed her son to jump down the stairs. one broken ankle later, and joel goodman was accused of child abuse. his word against his injured son’s. the maneuver won theresa full custody. phillip joel has yet to forgive himself.
after the custody battle’s conclusion, joel stayed in town: but phillip joel didn’t want a thing to do with sharing his name. his mother still scolds him as phillip joel, but to everyone else, he became tripp –– inspired by his knack for, you guessed it!, tumbling over his own two feet.
in high school, tripp was the class clown. always smirking, always grinning, always ready to catch someone off guard. he became a pivotal part of west ham high’s jazz band, and even formed a small group with a few buds: face. they played some school events: homecoming, pep rallies, prom. garage-baked young rock, their songs often preached meetings under bleachers and high school never ending.
in senior year, the band saw a reboot: and after assuming a more indie, spacey sound and a nifty new name –– 1757. –– they saw a rise in local celebrity. coffee shops commissioned them for jam nights. they played on the local radio. so they collectively decided to stick around and see how far they could ride this west ham fame train. with tripp as their frontman, they always leave a memorable impression: he’s not exactly the most run-of-the-mill performer.
1757.’s sound is reminiscent of LANY: i’ve reblogged a few tunes onto tripp’s blog for reference. he’s v much a paul klein / matty healy vibe. big into music. big into losing himself in it.
so what was he up to before the service trip? playin’ tunes. working part-time as a waiter. and brainstorming ways to get out of going on this trip, as soon as he realized his stupid bandmates lied about the form he signed. an open mic in the woods ! pah ! he should have known. but the concept sounded pretty flippin’ cool.
wear our shades on our nose, 'cause we're cool like that ( tripp goodman: the man, the myth, the ledge )
oh god, he’s w e i r d . he believes in goblins and ghosts and aliens ( oh my )!
still VERY VERY close with his mother. v broken up about not being able to get through to her, because it was about to be his parents’ wedding anniversary and they were going to anti-celebrate it with big slices of oreo cheesecake and setting things on fire.
how he feels about coming home to west ham: post apocalyptic version.
uhhhh... can he please get a waffle? specifically a cinnamon raisin waffle with extra cinnamon and a shit ton of syrup? actually. syrup with a side of waffles?
why he was banned from his personal twitter.
“ do you even lift, bruv? ” * proceeds to pick up a teacup & lift his pinkie like a true knock-off british monarch, shitty accent included *
listens to wham! and glam rock. unironically.bluetooth speaker mounted on his bike. no helmet! like an absolute boss. he knows!! wild!! shades on. it’s 2am. it’s dark. but true swag obeys no clock.
catch him biking everywhere stranger things style, actually. his bike’s name is milo because he can roll on for miles. mess with milo and he’ll fuck u up. aka find out if you’re lactose intolerant and slip heavy cream into your meal.
has a strong vendetta against blue doritos. which might take root in some horrific experiences involving cheez wiz, cool ranch, weed, and the new york subway system at 4am on a tuesday. spring break freshman year of college. oof.
he has a lil drawwwwl. tease him about it. he’ll probably blush.
stress-hums chili’s babyback ribs without realizing. catch him singin’ that about to be murdered.
weapon of choice: kindness.
actual weapon of choice: baseball bat.
he will write little jingles to keep morale up. “ so we’re trapped / cash us inside / how bou’ dat ? ”
has a passion for introspective literary quotes. but... has somehow managed to learn each and every one wrong.
friggin’ loves superheroes even though he can’t be bothered to watch the films? he just… always used to get made fun of for liking comic books even though he never read them? “ arachnid man is uh... heh. he’s pretty dope, huh? ” he embraces the falsehood. someone call him on it.
9/10 times if he’s in the gym, it’s just to eat his donut and watch pay-per-view movies on the bike for free.
apple pie can absolutely be breakfast if you try hard enough. jeez. get with the times, man!
he had a legitimate pet rock before going on this service trip. but has no idea where that bugger’s gone. probably got fed up with tripp serenading him with “ we will rock you ” at all hours of the night.
lawful good. will wave other drivers on forever.
got into an accident on his bike once. bitch broke his arm and he just kept on smiling.
“ no you have a nice day! and uh.... hey. mind if we like... call an ambulance? ”
low key feels like he’s the reason his parents’ marriage crumbled. low key guilty about it. low key wonders if maybe he lived up to his father’s expectations, he might have saved them a lot of grief.
give benny goodman by saint motel a listen and tell me that’s not his soul in audio form.
known for slightly hyperbolic storytelling.
pansexual as heck. falls in love. hard. it’s a mess. he can’t hide it. hence the shades.
he has brilliant hair. and it’s immortalized in his high school yearbook.
is hellbent on being a source of positivity in this terrible situation. can he interest you in a meme in these trying times? how ‘bout a granola bar? maybe a good ole game of mash?
he’s convinced this is an elaborate prank. or a social experiment. maybe aliens. but let’s not question it too much, let’s just.... have a good time? hakuna matata? no worries? lol where the twizzlers at?!
leaves a voicemail for his mother every morning and every night. maybe he cries. maybe.
he has one ear pierced because like.......... senior year of high school, he wanted to feel more cool.
allergic to mushrooms, shellfish, eggs, and harbingers of doom.
he truly boggles minds. just.... v out there? v spacey. he closes his eyes and drifts about on stage, fingers dancing on the keys, body moving in eclectic ways. he says “groovy” and fuckin’ means it. he dresses in prints inspired by grandma’s carpet. lots of half-buttoned flowy shirts, boots, tailored statement pants, dangly necklaces. he’s got his hands full of rings –– they symbolize milestones. and some are just, like... pretty. and one’s his mother’s old wedding band.
where the hell are my friends ! ( wanted connectz. )
i was gonna do a whole section on this and got lazy but like.... anything. all the things. good, bad, ugly, beautiful. hurt him. make him suffer. but also support him a bit.
i imagine he’s got a solid squad goin’. he’s in faction one too, so... hmu for those.
i feel like he’d be pretty chill with the greeks? yeah bro, he parties. he’ll chill. he’ll crack open a cold one and pretend to understand what those letters on your jacket mean! pie-apple-fate-uh? cool stuff !
ride or dies. pls.
he needs someone to like....... melt his heart. maybe someone unexpected.
thisssss got long & disorganized but yes! let’s plot! let’s do this thang! #hype!!
#apogeeintro#✰ mother trucker dude; that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick ! isms.#if u cannot tell...... he is a gay ass MEME
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Submission from literalapologyblog + some thoughts re: GOT/Marvel/writing
“(too long for askbox, so sending as submission)
Hey, I left a dickish comment on a post you made (via defunct blog, “beewinged”), and I’m sorry. I just literally created a whole new account and painstakingly tracked down your url again to say that, because it was bugging me that much.
I was really into fandom and tumblr for a few years, and pulled out of it completely when one particular fandom went sour with drama and hatefulness. Hate directed at showrunners, between fans– a lot of it using the guise of progressive language.
I removed myself from fandom and social media entirely and pretty successfully, because I hate communicating with people in soundbites and hate how communities like tumblr (for all their upsides) make it easy for users to “curate” a personality and set of opinions with the click of a button.
And it took all of a few days scrolling the Endgame tag for me to go right back to a place of casual, de-personalizing interactions (two comments, the other one being, “this take bums me out”– but still two comments too many).
I saw about fifty posts that compared Endgame to GoT S8; yours wasn’t that unusual. Tags on tumblr, by design, highly concentrate extreme emotion and stimulus. Social media doesn’t care what it’s doing to compassionate discourse. Rationally, I know this! – but seeing post after post talking about writers and creatives, human people with families, as if they had committed war crimes– seeing “fuck the Russos”, “these writers are basically the same people as these writers”, treating “the Russos” like some kind of malicious entity or, worse, seeing anti-colonialist director of color Taika Waititi referred to as “a bag of racid dicks” (in the name of protecting the integrity of a made-up person) made it all too easy for me to perceive individual posts as a part of a vicious hivemind obsessed with its fandom reality-bubble.
I think there are some good criticisms of Endgame. I also felt and still feel that the writing in Endgame (flawed but thematically consistent, focuses on Tony’s arc to the exclusion of others, because his– for better or for worse– is the strongest) doesn’t bear comparison with the hasty and thoughtless writing of GoT’s last few episodes.
That opinion is not what I expressed in my comment on your post. I wasn’t starting a conversation in good faith (something I’ve tried very hard to hold myself to, in real life and when I do make posts online). I essentially expressed, “*you*, a part of a hivemind, are mad because the thing you wanted didn’t happened, and *you* are fronting like that’s ‘bad writing’”.
That’s a very personal accusation, and a really incendiary and unfair thing to say to someone on the basis of one post, ever if it reflects a generalized feeling I have about online fandom. I let my momentary irritation get the better of me, and focused it on you. It wasn’t the most unkind thing I’ve ever said, but that doesn’t rankle any less.
So: I’m sure you do have strong feelings about stories and opinions about storytelling, and I’m sure they are worth listening to, that you have people in your life who enjoy hearing your thoughts, and that the best and most complex of your thoughts can’t be gleaned from just scrolling through your tumblr.
You might have a thicker skin than I do, and maybe didn’t give my comment a second thought– but I’m sorry if, for even a second, it made you feel dismissed or hurt or misunderstood. You could be any number of people who, in “real” life, I’d never speak to so dismissively. I hope you continue to write, enjoy and engage with stories.”
First off, I want to apologise for taking a few days to post this. I saw this in my submission box and wanted to thoroughly think over it before I replied. I’ve since seen that the blog has been deactivated, but I wanted to post this in the hopes you might stumble across my response, because I do appreciate you going to the effort to find me again… It’s a serious effort! And rarely do people apologise for ‘dickish’ comments haha
First off, I understand anyone who wishes to take time away from fandoms, especially when things get toxic and experiences get ruined by it. For me personally, I have a tendency to just avoid those blogs/tags. There was certain things I don’t go near, and certain posts that I might read, internally disagree with, and move on. I’ve spent a lot less time on Twitter and Instagram lately, and I’m feeling better for it too.
In short, do I think that there are rightful comparisons to make between the writers at Marvel and GOT? Yes. Do I think that makes it okay for us to talk excessive smack about the Russos/TW? No. While my criticisms for the Russos and TW run deep, I never condone death threats or unnecessary insults. On one post in particular, I’ve ‘gone off’ on some comment the Russos made regarding fan reactions to Loki’s death. Nothing other than calling them ‘fucking eejits’, but cursing is used more casually here in Ireland, so maybe that’s why I use it as such. But yeah, other than that, I don’t agree with the notion of wishing death or serious harm on these people, and I think most people would agree with that. Criticise them all day, if it’s valid, but anything else is a bit… excessive. I certainly do think that there are far more valid criticisms floating about instead of death threats, but the harsh stuff is always going to jump out the most.
I agree with a lot of what you say - while there are definitely valid criticisms to be made about Endgame, it’s not an awful or bad film, and there are definitely more examples of poor and lazy writing in the last season of GOT. As someone who was in love with that show for a good five seasons, it was sad to see it go the way it did. I did, however, jump ship after some very telling and dramatic writing choices they made in season five. By my logic at the time, “if they will do x now, they’ll most definitely do y and z later”, and it’s never fun when that realisation comes to fruition. That being said, I still strongly believe that Marvel dropped the ball with some of my favourite characters in Endgame (Loki, Steve, Tony, Bucky, Thor). I think they did great by some characters, and terrible by others. But that’s probably a discussion for another post - most of my feelings have been far better explained in posts by other blogs!
“I essentially expressed, “*you*, a part of a hivemind, are mad because the thing you wanted didn’t happened, and *you* are fronting like that’s ‘bad writing’”.” If I’m being honest, this is absolutely nothing new to me haha. As a Loki fan and someone quite critical of the last season of GOT, I’m well used to people telling me “you’re just mad because your fave died!” and “you just don’t like it because it’s not the ending you wanted!” I think any Loki fan can attest to that too. It sucks, but if someone replies to me in that way, I don’t even bother continuing the conversation. You’ve already reached a wall before the conversation can start. I recently had a chat with a friend who I falsely assumed would cut me off in a similar manner, and it was amazingly refreshing to have my opinion heard and not automatically shut off because I’m a “Loki fangirl”. For me, Endgame just proved that my favourite character’s ending in IW was badly written, badly executed, pointless other than being motivation for Thor, and just overall illogical and out of character. Much like most Dany fans don’t mind her character becoming a mad queen, I don’t mind if Loki dies. My issue is how we get there and how badly executed it was in terms of writing. The actors themselves obviously put their hearts into what I would consider a weak story point. It seemed careless, much like Dany’s characterisation... “How do we get there exactly? Ah, who cares, just do it and get it over with. People will watch it and we’ll make money anyway.”. Can you imagine if they had screwed up Iron Man’s arc in the same manner? The backlash would’ve been insane!
I do of course apologise if I’ve ever some across as someone who just shits on Marvel, because that’s not who I am. I grew up being a massive Spider Man fan as a kid, and these heroes and films will always have a place in my heart, but I’m still going to critique something even if I love it. If anything, I think it’s even more important to acknowledge flaws in your favourite things. I’m certainly not right in ever instance, and I don’t think I know everything there is to know about writing!
My main hope from all of this is just that future writers learn from these mistakes and become better writers because of it.
I genuinely appreciate the fact you went to the trouble to find my blog again apologise, because it’s something that I see rarely. I hadn’t paid much attention to your original comment, but your apology is valued and appreciated. It’s honestly something I don’t usually receive amidst a sea of “yOu’rE JUst mAD bEcAUse yOuR faVE DieD!!”
Likewise I hope that you continue to express your own thoughts and opinions on writing in an articulate manner, and hopefully you see less of those posts that proper do your head in! Thank you for explaining your point of view to me, and thick skin or not, apologies and calm conversations always go a long way.
#more of this please#this is the discourse I live for#me answering shit#me saying shit#submission#ask#ask me anything#literalapologyblog#got#game of thrones#marvel#MCU#endgame spoilers#avengers endgame#game of thrones spoilers#loki#writing#apology
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