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#he’s trying to put up an act and pretend that he’s tough
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you’re just like your father
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[ID: A digital drawing of Trey, a stylized original Flatland character, done against a beige background. Trey is an grey Isosceles triangle with dark brown markings, dark grey limbs, a blocky, dark grey eyebrow, and a single grey eye in his center. On his legs, his ankles have small triangular spikes.
He has markings that consist of two curved lines across his bottom two angles connecting his bottom side and his other sides, two thin triangles curving slightly inwards right above his eyebrow, and a curved line connecting the two sides below his top angle.
He is slighting facing to the right, looking down at the camera. He is standing with his right leg to the side and his left leg facing slightly outwards. His left hand is held in a fist at his side, and his right hand is resting, held slightly behind him. His top angle is thinner than the rest of his body and slightly chipped. There are uneven lines around his body and his left fist to show he’s shaking.
His eyebrow is pulled down and his eye is squinted in an angry expression. He has a slit pupil and there are tears in his eye.
Behind him, stretching out like a shadow, is a faded Isosceles triangle named Easton. He has a single closed eye. There are two curved lines connecting his sides above and below his eye, creating a circular center. His center is light grey, and his bottom half and top angle are dark brown.
End ID.]
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lowkey I kinda wanna top gaz or ghost out of curiosity on how they would react 🤔
gaz or ghost? gaz AND ghost. ranked competitive sex. the ol' good cock/bad cock.
they're both confident almost cocky but they show it very differently.
you tell gaz you wanna be on top this time.
"i'm fine with that," he says.
cool cool cool. easy. too easy, in fact.
he's smiling at you. "you want to be on top, you're on top." he says. "easy as."
so... you get to be the dominant one this time. he knows that's what you mean. right?
mm, harder sell. you wanna do his job? you're gonna need to prove you have what it takes. you're gonna have to work for it. talk like you mean it. don't whine, don't ask, don't just tell him what to do. command him. 
and don't mess up.
nsfw ⬇
order him to take his clothes off. top him like you mean it--bounce on him like you don't need any help, because he's not helping you. and control yourself. edge him. don't show weakness. make him keep his eyes on you. keep his interest with your body, your voice, your tone.
(it's tough for him, feigning such precarious half-interest. pretending like you don't have a visegrip on his every atom. pretending like he's not suddenly understanding how it might feel to be possessed by a succubus. it's tough, but he's soldiering through because he's a great fucking teacher. this is good for you, you just don't know it yet.)
he's teaching you to use your whole body to tell him you're in charge. you need to make the rules.
if you don't--if you slip up--he'll make you sorry. he'll give you a crash course in how a mean dom operates.
(you might be able to collar him, but god help you if you fumble. the second you do, that o-ring choker is going on your neck, and his thumb is already hooked in.)
ghost--
ghost is a little easier to entice. he's a visual guy. he's a little smitten with anyone who approaches him first. you're offering to top him? to put your whole damn body on display? that's an act of service, baby.
even if you're doing it because you want to control the pace and the position, even if you want to take your own pleasure and act like you don't give a damn about his... you're still giving him exactly what he wants. if all he needs to do is lay back and shut up, he'll play your game.
not a tough job, either. not half bad. he could get used to this. nope, he's already used to it. he's thinking ahead--wondering what other dirty fantasies in that pretty head he could help fulfill.
then he shifts his hips down an inch to hit your sweet spot. you snap at him not to move. 
his eyes flick up--from your hole squeezing his cock--to your face. strange sense of whiplash you're giving him--the instant flip from almost ignoring him to focusing squarely on him. negative attention or not, it's arousing. you shouldn't have done that.
"yeah?" he replies, voice low and rough. "you gonna make me?"
you don't have time to reply before he's shoving his hips up into you hard. one stroke, then two, then more, so slow and hard and deep your vision threatens to go white. 
he's challenging you to keep ignoring him now. 
"say it again," he growls. "tell me what to do one more time."
he reaches for your clit, and you fight him, grabbing his wrist, using it as leverage to sink down on him again, redoubling your pace. 
you're both fighting to stay in control. ghost could overpower you easily but he's having fun. and you're putting on a hell of a show for him.
he'll contend with your attitude later. for now he just wants to keep you pissed off and horny enough to keep riding him like you've got something to prove.
riding ghost and gaz together...
you just know they're both talking at you, trying to get your attention as you fight like hell not to fall apart.
gaz is instructing you to sit up straighter, to clench your thighs so they don't shake, to control your voice--or keep it up, sweetheart. keep moaning like a slut if you want to be treated like one. 
ghost is egging you on, enjoying how furious you're getting, how it makes you clench up and stutter when gaz says something that really gets to you. he tosses in his lot every so often to keep things going. like throwing a lit match into a pit of black powder and lead azide.
you're doomed. until.
you tell ghost to move his hands already so gaz can maneuver you by the hips instead. 
that turns them against one another in negative two seconds.
suddenly they're critiquing each other. gaz smugly insinuates you're enjoying his technique more. ghost replies smoothly that it hardly matters to him; it's his attention you're after.
their back-and-forth gives you the precious time you need to clear your head. once you can finally fucking concentrate, you can push past all this edging you've been put through by stupid competition they've been having on you.
they keep one-upping each other and only half-notice what you're up to--until you throw your head back and make a sound of pure rapture, riding them both to completion. you throw yourself into the best orgasm of your recent life.
they're dead silent as you come down, grinding your hips in bliss as the final sparks of pleasure fizzle under your skin.
it sort of humbles them. but then again, it also inflates both their egos just enough to keep them from learning their goddamn lesson.
...
more Gaz / more Ghost / more multi-141 and poly 141 / masterlist tag
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heliostick · 6 months
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Werewolf boyfriend, one that acts tough and puts up a front in public, protective and possesive when people are around but once you're in the bedroom? He's the most pathetic, whiny puppy for you. He worships you, literally at your feet nudging his muzzle into your crotch trying to get a taste of you, pretending like he's not humping your leg because he's trying to be your good boy. Even letting you put a collar on him, because he's just a puppy that can't control himself.
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lemonlover1110 · 9 months
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬
Satoru Gojo
[Chapter 9] Tantrum
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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
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You’ve known Satoru ever since you were five years old, and yet you’ve never realized just how spoiled and entitled he is. Sure, you knew that his parents would buy just about anything he wanted and he never had to face any consequences but you never really notice. Nor did you care. Not until he’s right in front of you, in front of your desk, and he tells you,
“You’re fired.”
It catches you off guard. You’re completely confused, and you don’t gather your thoughts in time. When you’re about to question what he means, he’s locked in his office. You knock on the door, and when there’s no response, you knock much harsher. He ends up opening the door, a brow raised as he asks, “Did you not hear me?”
“You can’t fire me.” You tell him, and he hums as he pretends to think about it. You’re about to call his mother to tell her about the situation, but Satoru slams the door shut which startles you.
“I want you to pack your shit up and leave this building, you’re fired.” Satoru says. You’re opening and closing your mouth, trying to think of what to say. A comprehensible sentence isn’t forming in your head. “You’re not doing your job properly.”
“I’m not doing my job properly? Last time I checked, I was. I’m just not fucking you like you want me to!” You raise your voice and his eyes widen at what you say. He didn’t realize how outspoken you’ve become, but hearing you say that is a reality check for the man.
“How dare you say that?” He responds, making you roll your eyes. You unlock your phone and look for his mother’s contact. Meanwhile you tell him,
“You’re a fucking horrible person. Why are you trying to take my job away from me when I’ve excelled at my job? Because we have a past together? I’m sorry for dating you, I guess.” You finally find the contact and when you’re about to call her, he takes the phone from your hands.
“Are you trying to call her? What business do you have with her? Why is she employing you?” He asks the questions that remain unanswered. You’re also not giving him an answer. He scoffs at your silence before saying, “Reason doesn’t matter. I’m the boss, and you’re fired.”
“You’re an entitled son of a bitch.” You take your phone back. You’re about to call his mother but you pause. You take a deep breath before you say, “You know, I’m glad you left me. If we had gotten married we would’ve gotten divorced within a year.”
“So suddenly you can remember we have a past together.” He says, making you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. You chuckle, rolling your eyes.
“You were the one who told me to forget about our past while we worked together, why are you mad that I wasn’t bringing it up!” You argue, and he’s gathering his thoughts while you dial his mother. You put the phone on speaker, and he says,
“There’s no way you’re calling her.” And when she picks up the phone, he hears her voice. There’s no way his own mother would side with you of all people. He’s holding back a smirk, waiting for you to say something, to ridicule yourself.
“Hey, Mrs. Gojo. I’m with your son right now and he’s trying to fire me.” You inform her, and you both hear her sigh. Satoru is waiting for it. She’s going to tell you off, she might be putting up a tough act with him but when it comes between you and him, she’ll obviously side with him.
“I’ll talk to him. Don’t pack your stuff up, he’s just throwing a tantrum.” And she hangs up on you. You smile at Satoru, batting your eyelashes before you tell him,
“I’ll let you handle her. Have fun.” Just as you speak his phone rings, and he sees his mother’s name on the screen.
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You’re not sure what you’re expecting that same day when Mrs. Gojo texts you to meet up at a restaurant at lunch. Maybe she wants to talk about Satoru’s awful behavior with you and apologize– You doubt that she’s apologizing, that’s certainly the last thing she’s going to do. You’ve known the woman so long, and you don’t remember her ever apologizing.
You get to the restaurant, and luckily for you, it isn’t something that’s high-end. It’s nice, but nothing extravagant that’ll make you feel bad about how you look. You walk into the place, and tell the hostess the name that the reservation is under, and she leads you to the table. A sigh escaping your lips when you see her and who she’s with. Of course.
“Mrs. Gojo… Gojo.” Your eyes shift from the mother to the son. You know there’s no way you can escape from this, so you might as well sit down comfortably. “What’s the reason for this meeting?”
“I can’t have you two working together while you bicker like children. I need you two to make up.” She says, and you click your tongue. You clear your throat before you tell her,
“Mrs. Gojo, I think it’s best to hurry up with hiring another secretary for your son. As much as I try to ignore it, we have a past together and we simply can’t get along even in a professional manner.” You try your best to be honest with her. You would’ve gladly been demoted back to Shoko’s secretary, but not fired by him. Especially since you know that he did it without his mother knowing.
“I didn’t ask for your opinion, dear. I put you as Satoru’s secretary because that’s what I think fits best.” She responds. Satoru pinches the bridge of his name while your nails dig into the cloth of your skirt. Right, your opinion doesn’t matter. She’s the one that makes all the decisions around here. You stare at Satoru, waiting to see if he’ll actually say something to her.
To no surprise, he bites down his tongue.
She takes a sip from her water before she clears her throat. “I should get going, you two figure it out. I told the waiter to keep his eye on you.”
This reminds you of when you were kids and Satoru would snatch a toy out of your hands which would ensue an argument. You were always forced to make up, of course Mrs. Gojo wouldn’t be the one to force you because at the time she didn’t want her son to be friends with you. It’d always be your mother.
You’re tempted to leave when she leaves, but you stay in your seat. You’re hungry, you might as well order something. He doesn’t seem like he’s going to leave either. When the waiter comes around, you both order something.
You sit in silence, awkwardly looking around the place. After around a minute or so, you take your phone out. You open the couple of messages you have from the nanny, and smile as you see your son. He’s playing with the toy cars that his grandmother got him, and you take this opportunity to glance at Satoru and then at your son. You hate how much they look alike, and as you look back and forth you realize they look more similar than what you had in mind.
“How’s Ren?” He asks, and you nearly drop your phone. You furrow your brows as you take a big gulp from your glass. Can he read your mind? He awkwardly looks around before he asks, “Is that not the name of your cat?”
“Yeah.” You laugh. It takes everything in you not to burst into a fit of laughter. You completely forgot that your son is now a cat. You take a sip of water before saying, “He’s good.”
“Maybe we can make up if you show me a picture of your cat.” He says, and you roll your eyes as you shake your head.
“I decide when we make up, after all, you tried to fire me.” You point out. He really can’t argue with that. You tap your finger against the table before you tell him, “I guess you can talk about what you wanted to talk about so badly. Remember when you asked me to dinner?”
“Yeah… I’ve thought about it and that won’t end well.” He confesses. He can’t get rid of you, he doesn’t know why his mother is insistent on you two working together. “I guess… How have you been doing the past five years?”
“I’ve been…” You take a deep breath. You found out your boyfriend got married months after breaking up with you, you had a baby alone, have been raising him alone, overworking yourself to ensure Ren has the best possible upbringing. You’re tired. You sheepishly smile, “Fine. I’ve been fine.”
“You look tired.” He says. You have no idea why his words make your eyes fill up with tears. You chuckle, standing up to use the bathroom.
“That’s what happens when you work for your mom.” You respond. He doesn’t know what else to say, but it’s fine, you walk away to use the bathroom. He bounces his leg as he waits for you. He has to think of what he’s going to say to kill the awkwardness that goes on at your table
There’s a vibrating sound on the table, and he sees that you’ve left your phone. Satoru gets a great idea, you might not want to share much about your life but you’ve left your phone behind. He doubts your password has changed. He holds back, it’s an invasion of your privacy. But if the phone that’s across the table were to magically land in front of him and light up, it wouldn’t be an invasion of your privacy if he just glanced at it.
He’s fighting back on grabbing the phone and checking everything that you have there. His hand lands on the table and he slowly moves his hand. And just when he’s about to reach the phone, you’re back. You ask, “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” He tries to play it off, his hand going to his side of the table and he puts his elbow on the table before his head rests on his hand. You try to act as if you didn’t see him reaching for your phone. You came back when you noticed you had left your phone and you feared this would happen. “So um… Are you seeing anyone?”
“I don’t have the time.” You share. Your food finally gets to the table and you get your utensils to begin stuffing your face. “I was about to ask you the same question.”
“Right.” He awkwardly chuckles. You both begin to eat, and his eyes can’t stop looking at you as you try your best to keep your tableside manners. Satoru can’t eat, his appetite goes away. His stomach growls, wanting food but the thought of eating makes him want to puke. He wipes his mouth with a napkin before he clears his throat. “I apologize for firing you… You are doing a great job and I just–”
“Got in your feelings.” You finish his sentence for him. He ends up sighing. You’re right. You shrug, “As long as you don’t let it happen again.”
“I won’t. I promise. Next time around it’s up to my mom.” He responds.
“So we’re stuck working together forever.” You joke. He ends up laughing. He watches you eat, and you feel awkward since he watches you like a hawk. When you swallow the mouthful of food, you ask him a question that keeps bugging you, “Are you and Sayo thinking of having kids?” 
“Kids! Kids… Um, we haven’t talked about it. Don’t think she wants them.” He answers, and he sounds unsure about it all. You find it odd considering that’s his wife of five years, but it’s none of your business. You know Satoru wants kids but perhaps he’s changed his mind. “So um… You and Suguru.”
“What about us?” You slightly tilt your head to the side. Satoru doesn’t want to bring it up. He doesn’t want to give you ideas, but he already mentioned Suguru.
“You two seem… Friendly.” He asks, and you know what he’s insinuating. 
“I wish… I don’t think he’s into me.” You confess since he hasn’t bothered to contact you ever since he found out about Ren, and Satoru won’t mention the past. He won’t mention it because if he hears that you’ve started dating Suguru, he just might lose his mind.
“How could he not?” He says, and you feel your face get warm.
“Let’s not.” You reply, and he bites his lip. He ends up nodding in agreement. He would have talked to you for hours a couple of years ago, but he doesn’t find a topic to talk about. You don’t know each other anymore.
You keep eating quietly since neither of you want to talk more deeply about the past, and when you’re finished, Satoru calls the waiter to cover the bill. To your surprise, Mrs. Gojo got it covered. You both stand up and exit the restaurant. 
You don’t bother saying anything else as you begin to walk to your car, and you assume that Satoru begins to walk the other way until he calls out your name. You come to a full stop and you turn to look at him. You sweetly smile at him, before you ask him, “What’s up?”
You don’t know what to do when he wraps his arms around you. He hugs you so tightly that he sucks the air out of your body. You’re not sure what to do– Whether you want to hug him back or just awkwardly stand as the man that you’ve loved for so long hugs you. He’s been waiting to do it for five years. 
And he’s waiting for you to hug him back, but you’re not budging. Until you feel a droplet on your shoulder. His head rests on your shoulder and he sniffles. You finally hug him back, “Don’t cry, Toru. You have no reason to cry.”
It’s muffled but you’re sure you hear an,
“I’ve missed you.”
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hansolsfearofbugs · 10 months
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Skz- Before he Confesses
little things they do while they have a crush on you, sfw
maknae line edition- Han, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin
hyung line
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Han Jisung
tries extra hard to be funny when he's around you
always cracking jokes hoping it'll make you laugh
a little corny at times but still cute
overthinks every joke he made after he left
thinks you'll find him cringey and lowkey gets mad at himself over jokes he thinks were stupid
seeing you laugh makes it so worth it tho
the first time he ever made you laugh he was so happy
that was the moment he completely fell for you
spent the next few weeks daydreaming about having you all to himself so he could make you laugh like that all the time
always stealing glances at his phone when he shouldn't be (during practice, while recording, in meetings, etc) hoping to see a message from you
smiles like an idiot whenever he does get a notif from you
has a photo album of pics of you that he really likes
some of them are candids that he took and some are stolen from your social media
gets lost in your eyes a lot
will literally zone out just admiring you while you're talking
this gets him caught by the members becasue you're the only person they've ever seem him look at like that
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Felix
tries to impress you by acting tough and showing off
pulls out the extra deep voice around you
fails at acting tough and it's adorable
like one time when you were watching the members play some sports game he went full try hard mode and all the members were really confused
does the thing where he'll wipe his sweat with the bottom of his t-shirt, purposefully showing off his abs in front of you
always sits near you in group settings
gets sleepy around you because he feels safe when he's with you
when he gets tired he forgets he's supposed to be acting tough to impress you
ends up just being really cute and clingy
falls asleep on your shoulder a lot on drives and when his social battery is drained at group events
always bringing you things he's baked
won't let the members touch the batches he makes just for you
brings you back little things from all the places he travels
befriends your mom with his baking
is so so so happy when your mom says she wants you to marry "a guy like him"
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Kim Seungmin
i feel like a lot of people say he would tease you a lot if he likes you
but i actually think he'd be exceptionally nice to you
like you're literally the only one he's not an absolute menace to
gets caught so quick by the members because no one has ever seen him be so sweet to someone
lowkey protective over you
you fell asleep in a common area once and he guarded you like his life depended on it
would not let anyone speak or make noise
gave anyone who waked past the nastiest side eye
won't let you walk on the inside of the road
puts his hand over you when the car stops suddenly
pretended to be your boyfriend when a creepy guy wouldn't leave you alone
remembers everything you've ever said to him
you complimented his smile once and he couldn't stop thinking about it
always scheming to "accidentally" create situations where you're hanging out just the two of you
shares his food with you
you are the only one that gets that privilege
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Yang Jeongin
gets jealous when he sees you having fun with other members but doesn't do anything about it cuz he doesn't think you'd ever choose him
lowkey has hella rizz but doesn't realize it
does little things to try subtly show you that he'd be a good boyfriend
like he'llfind a flower and tuck it behind your ear
"beautiful, just like you"
or he'll cook your favorite meals to show you that he's boyfriend material
saw you playing with some little kids and his heart absolutely melted
always asks to share your airpods so he can listen to your music
gets really shy and nervous if he sees you looking at him
always looking to make sure you're safe and having fun in group settings
finds excuses to touch you by fixing your jewery or moving your hair out of your face
plays with your claw clips all the time
something about claw clips are just absolutely mesmerizing to this man
tries extra hard with the vocals when he knows you're in the audience
he's singing his heart out just for you :)
a/n: if you enjoyed this check out the hyung line version!
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ddejavvu · 9 months
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criminal minds request:
Hotch and reader have a some tension between them ever since reader joined the team. They never acted upon it knowing that the relationship would be the hr nightmare.
They live in the same complex and reader is spending the night with someone from the bar and Aaron interrupts with the news of a case.
I love your writing btw
thanks! <3
this post is 18+, minors dni.
Aaron's been inside of your apartment only a few times before, but he could walk there in his sleep. That's almost what he wishes he was doing, instead of marching towards your door at one thirty-six in the morning, but duty calls, and though he'd tried to do the same, you hadn't answered your phone.
When he reaches your door Aaron can hear faint noise inside, and something like annoyance prickles at his chest at the thought that you'd ignored his phone call to watch television. But he finds himself seldom able to feel anything but secretly fond of you, so he tries to give you the benefit of the doubt.
What the door opens to is far worse than television. Instead of the faint glow of a screen lighting the couch, Aaron is met with the sight of a man, mostly naked and only draped in a sheet. Your sheet.
This man was in your bed.
"Yeah?" He asks, rather rudely, "It's the middle of the night, man. What do you want?"
He suspects you've asked the man to answer the door because you don't want to do it yourself, appearing alone at night in most likely very little clothing. Aaron commends you on your survival skills, but can't shake the feeling that he suddenly wants to try his hand at murder.
"I'm Y/N's boss," Aaron mutters, eyes set in a sharp glare, "She's needed at the office."
"Man, fuck off," Your houseguest scoffs, "That's not gonna work on me. Leave her alone, you creep, or at least come back with a better lie next time."
The man tries swinging the door shut, but before Aaron can wedge the freshly polished toe of his shoe into the gap, you squeal from down the hallway.
"Hotch?"
"We have a case," Aaron barks, voice still rough at the presence of the other man present, "You didn't answer your phone."
"I'm sorry!" You come running down the hallway while wrestling with the waistband of sweatpants Aaron hopes are your own, fully clothed in those and a tank top as you reach the door.
"Uh, Dominic, this is- he's my boss," You pat the man's bare back apologetically where you sidle up beside him, "I have to go."
Dominic doesn't seem to be particularly kind to anyone, Aaron muses. The man rounds on you with a furrow in his brow that Aaron doesn't like one bit, "Seriously? Some suited-up fuck comes to your door in the middle of the night and you just run off with him?"
"It's my job," You plead earnestly, "I'm sorry! It's just bad timing."
"Whatever." Dominic grumbles, turning to stalk off down the hallway to retrieve his clothes, "Bad timing my ass."
Neither you nor Hotch decide to tell him that you can see the very thing he speaks of. He's only holding the towel over his front half, and the back half being completely exposed doesn't help the tough-guy persona he's trying to put on as he storms off.
"I'm sorry," You breathe, sounding truly apologetic as Aaron stands in your doorway, "I didn't hear my phone ring, I was- we were... well. I'll be dressed and ready in, like, ten minutes." You vow, "I just need to get him out of here."
Aaron's not sure he can manage to speak after your admission, because up until now he'd been trying to pretend there was somehow some other reason for there to be a naked man crawling out of your bed at two in the morning.
All he can muster is a terse nod, and you take it as disapproval rather than a bruised heart. You rush off to get changed, and Aaron hears Dominic bicker with you before he storms his way out of the hallway and through the door. Aaron doesn't move as he passes through, and Dominic runs into his broad shoulders. Aaron keeps his balance steady, not sparing Dominic a glance as the man makes a fool of himself on the way out.
"She's not even worth it, man," Dominic sneers at Hotch from down the hall, "She must be some kinda whore. Called me the wrong fucking name, like she does this every night. Aaron must have been the last guy."
Hotch is stuck. If he hadn't heard his own name escape Dominic's mouth he'd have used what he's learned as a serial killer specialist to dispose of Dominic's remains without ever being caught. He doesn't like the way that the man spoke of you one bit, but when he hears you've been speaking of him, his spine stiffens and his legs lock into place.
"Tell her I hope Aaron likes her mediocre tits more than I did!" Dominic shouts as a sendoff, and Aaron knows for a fact that he does. Mediocre is the last word he'd use to describe them, but he respects you and won't dwell on what term would be best.
Aaron almost regrets seeing Dominic leave, because he'd have liked to grill the man on exactly what went down in there. How did you say his name? When did you say his name? Did you say his name when glancing over at your ringing phone, and ultimately deciding to ignore it? Or did you say his name through an open-mouthed moan, sweat beading on your hairline and certainly-not-mediocre tits bouncing wildly with each thrust?
Aaron's head is so clouded with thoughts of your fucked-out, sex-hazy state that he's startled to feel your hand on his arm, and he tugs it out of your grasp, jerking away like he's been burned. Sure, his skin is on fire where you've touched him, but only because he wishes you'd do it more, especially in other places.
You take his reluctance to be touched as a bad sign, and your face dims into a hesitant frown as you stand at the ready by Hotch's side.
"I'm sorry, Hotch," You murmur, tucking your hand into the jacket that you're clutching now that you feel you've made a fool out of yourself, "Um- it won't happen again, sir."
He wants to kiss you. He wants to duck inside, slam your door shut, and press you against the inside, demanding a detailed account of why his name had fallen from your lips earlier in the heat of the moment. But he can't, he knows he can't, and he has to blink at your forlorn expression instead, feet heavy as he drags them away from your door, like magnets trying to pull him to your bedroom.
"No need for apologies, Agent." He grits his teeth, "What you do in your free time-" like moan my name "-is your business. Let's go, we're briefing on the plane; wheels up in thirty."
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angelicyoongie · 1 year
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lovesick (IX)
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— pairing: yandere ot7 x (f) reader — word count: 11.4k — warnings: yandere, stalking, obsessive behaviour, dissociation/panic attacks, mild dub-con (character trying to force a kiss), other content that may be triggering. — summary: You dreamed of the day you would get your very own soulmark. Though, you didn’t expect to wake up to a searing hurt in your arm, the phantom pain of your shoulder being dislocated and your forearm fractured. As if dealing with the worst possible soulmark ever wasn’t bad enough, you also have to come to terms with the fact that you’re being stalked. When the letters and gifts you receive begin to escalate and the police offers no help, you have no other option than to figure out who’s behind it yourself – and hopefully before it’s too late. — amazing cover by @leithold​!
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You pull a chunky sweater – Namjoon’s, you think – over your head, the thick wool settling heavily on your shoulders. It makes you want to crawl out of your own skin whenever you have to wear their clothes. You don’t have much of a choice, though, unless you want to freeze your ass off.
They thankfully had enough forethought to bring some of your clothes with them the night they broke into your apartment, but the majority of it isn't warm enough to fend off the dropping temperatures in the cabin. You may be many things, but stupid is not one of them. You know it wasn’t an accident that your warmest clothes were left behind.
You pick at the sweater, frowning, as you nip at it with your nails. You know it’s childish to ruin their things but it’s truly the only way you can act out without foiling your plans. Screaming at them won’t help you one bit and you need some form of outlet for your anger. By the time they pick up on all the tiny holes in their clothes, you’ll hopefully be long gone.
Standing in the middle of the room, you listen intently in the direction of your closed door. When the hallway remains silent, you dart over to your bedside table, carefully opening the heaviest book there. You pull out the thin metal bookmark that’s been nestled strategically between the pages, clutching it in your hand as you hurry over to the window.
You bend down, finding the place you left off yesterday before you resume digging it into the space between sash and the windowsill, slowly chipping away at the paint.
You found the bookmark completely by chance, having it literally fall into your lap a little over a week ago. It was the first time you had dared to touch your belongings after you woke up. Somehow, not touching your things made everything feel a little less real, like if you just wished hard enough, you would blink and find yourself back in your apartment where everything belonged.
But, after a week of pretending you didn’t want to throw up whenever one of your kidnappers brushed up against you, the craving for something familiar became too great.
The bookmark had felt like a godsend. Your heart had squeezed painfully as you remembered that Heejun had gifted it to you many years ago – how it was the first thing he bought after he received his first measly paycheck back when you were teenagers. Who would have thought it would end up being the only tool available to you to escape the stalkers you had so desperately tried to protect him from.
You drive the bookmark in with a huff, hitting the edge with your palm.
You’re pretty confident you’ve been trapped in this cabin for two weeks, give or take a few days. So far, sticking to your plan has been harder than you anticipated. It’s tough, acting like your skin doesn’t crawl when they try to hold your hand, or that your face doesn’t want to twist into a murderous scowl whenever they look at you. No matter how sweet or thoughtful they try to be, you can’t stop thinking about the things they’ve done – the torture they’ve been putting you through for the past year. Even if it goes against every fibre of your being to be around them, you know that this is your only way out. You have to make them trust you, make them comfortable enough to let their guards down, and that’s when you’ll be able to escape.
You never expected it to be easy – how could it be? – but the pretending is beginning to take a toll on you. You’re tired of being locked up, tired of being watched, tired of being around them. It’s a fatigue you can’t escape from no matter how much you try to sleep, and the constant weariness has caused a few near slip-ups already.
It made you unable to stop yourself from jerking away from Taehyung’s hand, despite hearing his footsteps coming up behind you in the hallway long before your arm was touched. It made you flinch when Yoongi stroked the top of your head in passing, even though you had seen him coming. It made your eyes narrow when Hoseok passed you a cup of perfectly normal water.
The weariness is faint, but it’s there.
And somehow, every time it breaches the surface, Jimin is always there to catch it.
He seems to particularly enjoy pushing your buttons. It might be because he knows, at least suspects, that you’re only acting, but Jimin always has a calculating look in his eye when he invades your personal space, when he pushes himself too close for comfort. He’s clearly not that easily fooled by your little act, but you have no clue how to convince him otherwise.
You wince as you hit the bookmark a little too hard, the metal leaving a deep indent behind on your palm.
You take that as your cue to stop chipping away for today, not willing to tempt fate by continuing and risk getting caught. After returning the bookmark to its hiding place, you step back to the window to sweep up the little chips of loose paint into your hand.
Sighing, you take in the sorry state of your precious plants, the poor things having browned and wilted from the increasingly colder temperatures in the cabin. You know there’s no way to save them now that they’re already half-dead, but the dark soil is still of use to you, especially since it proves to be a perfect cover for paint shavings.
You dust off your hands, gaze sweeping over your room to make sure nothing looks out of the ordinary. Deeming everything fine, you turn your attention to your closed door, squaring your shoulders as you listen to the muffled sounds coming from somewhere else in the cabin.
You can do this, you tell yourself, even though both your heart and mind screams no. Straightening yourself out, you glance back at your wilted plants as you open the door. Seeing the dead leaves makes your stomach twist uncomfortably.
The only thing you can hope, is that you’ll get out of here before you share the same fate.
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You stare down at the pastel yarn in your lap, fingers nimbly casting on another stich as you knit. You enjoy the mindlessness of it – of how you can let your mind wander while your hands work on their own. It's a hobby you picked up a few years ago by chance, when you were procrastinating writing a paper and ended up falling down the rabbit hole of watching people knit chunky blankets at two am. You’ve gotten decently good at it now, at least enough to know some basic recipes by heart.
A sudden huff on your left almost makes you lose a stitch.
You cast a quick glance over at Seokjin as the couch shifts, your own needles pausing as you take in the absolute mess he’s made of the yarn in his hands. Seokjin is pouting down at his creation, brows furrowed in deep concentration as he fumbles awkwardly with his knitting needles. Judging by the jumbled thread around his fingers, he’s just been creating knots for the past few minutes. The sight would’ve been endearing, maybe, if the situation was different. You can picture it a little too easily, how head over heels in love you could’ve been with Seokjin if he had approached you normally. How you would’ve swooned with fondness watching him try so hard to share your hobby with you.
You shake your head, casting the thoughts away before they can settle. It doesn’t matter what could have been when the reality is still this – you’re trapped in a cabin that’s god knows where because he, and the others, are crazy. Whatever weird thing they’re trying to pull by bringing you things you like and participating in your hobbies isn’t going to work. You know that biting your tongue and enduring their antics is an necessary evil, that spending time with them will only help you to better understand what makes them tick - but each passing day is only bringing you closer and closer to your breaking point.
“That doesn’t look right, hyung.” Hoseok chuckles as he walks past the couch, a steaming cup of tea in his hand.
He takes a seat on the opposite couch, pulling Jungkook’s feet into his lap. Jungkook is reading one of books Namjoon brought for you, his doe eyes suddenly growing big as he seems to get to particularly interesting plot point. You don’t think it’s a coincidence that he picked the same book you finished yesterday.
As is, you’ve been seeing a lot of them over the past few days.
The boys seem to have worked out a system, something that’ll help them keep up appearances and avoid bringing any suspicion to themselves. It sounded like Hoseok was the one that came up with the idea – of the boys grouping up to stay in the cabin in rotating shifts. Both Seokjin and Hoseok have employees to take over their shifts, Seokjin giving the excuse that he’s trying to branch out the business and thus needs to visit florist fairs out of town, and Hoseok simply stating he wants to take time off for himself now that the shop is doing well. Jungkook can mostly do as he pleases, it’s not like any of your professors take attendance, but you’ve heard him whining to Seokjin about doing extra shifts at Déjà Bloom to make up for the eldest absence.
It seems that Taehyung and Yoongi are established enough in their careers that they can work from home (or the cabin, rather) a few days a week, but you’ve heard them grumbling to the others that their presence is often needed in-house to finish up projects. Jimin, on the other hand, already works in shifts at the station, three days on, one or two days off. You don’t doubt he somehow managed to charm the other officers to give him the best shifts – they seemed willing to break their backs for him the times you visited the station.
It’s Namjoon you’ve seen the least to.
It’s not that surprising, not when he basically runs the local library by himself. He’s already ranted twice about how little support the library gets from the city, so you think it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t have the funds to hire another full-time worker to help him out. You should be glad that it doesn’t leave much time for him to come to the cabin, that he can only come up during the evening and stay until the morning after every now and then, but it only seems to leave him even clingier than normal. The cabin feels extra stifling whenever he comes to visit, with how he constantly hovers around you, holding your hands and hugging you close so that you don’t catch a cold, darling. It makes pretending you don’t mind it just a smidge harder every time.
“I’m trying my best! It’s harder than it looks.” Seokjin whines, hair flopping dramatically as he flings his head back.
You watch his throat bob, lips still pursed in a soft pout as he gently calls out to you, ”Y/n, can you please help me?”
You press your lips into a strained smile, sighing internally as you look at the knotted and lopsided creation in his hands. You don’t even quite understand how he’s managed to tangle it up so badly in such a short time, but the only help you can offer him at this point is just to unravel the whole thing to start anew.
“Sure, give it here.” You murmur.
Seokjin flashes you a sheepish grin as he hands the yarn over, the tips of his ears turning pink as you grimace at the mess. You pull the knitting needles out from the last remaining stitches, tugging on the yarn to find the first knot you’ll have to untie.
“You know you don’t have to force yourself to do this if you don’t enjoy it, right?” You say, staring down at the string as you work to loosen it up.
Honestly, it would be better for you if he didn’t. I do have to spend time with them, but you’d much rather just sit in awkward silence over being reminded of them every time you go to do one of your hobbies after you get out of here.
“I’m not forcing myself to do anything, angel, I want to learn how to knit. I might not be very good right now but I still enjoy it, because it means I get to spend time with you."
You don’t meet the lovesick gaze that burns into the side of your face.
Hoseok does an exaggerated shudder on the other couch, jostling Jungkook’s legs with the movement. ”You’re so sappy, hyung, you’re going to make me gag.”
Seokjin makes an affronted noise, chucking one of the pillows behind his back at Hoseok in retaliation. The pillow ends up veering too much to left, smacking right into the youngest’s head instead of his intended target. Jungkook startles at the impact, too absorbed in his book to even see it coming, shocked eyes blinking back at Seokjin as the pages slip from his grasp.
“What?–”
“Ah, Seokjin hyung, stop bullying Jungkook! The poor baby didn’t do anything wrong!” Hoseok snickers behind his hand as he fusses over Jungkook. He tucks some of Jungkook’s hair behind his ear, gently patting his cheeks to bring him back from the unexpected shock.
“Jungkook-ah, h-hyung didn’t mean it!” Seokjin stutters.
Drowning out their bickering, you turn back to the tangled mess in your hands as Jungkook uses the opportunity to tease Seokjin, joining Hoseok to gang up on him. Your brows furrow as you work on an especially difficult knot, the yarn tied so firmly you struggle to get a hold of it. You’re so focused that you almost don’t realize how the sound of Seokjin’s exasperated voice and Jungkook and Hoseok’s laughter makes your movements falter, heart squeezing in your chest.
You brush of the weird feeling immediately, refusing to linger on the implications as you chalk up the odd moment of weakness on your growing cabin fever.
By the time you’re almost completely done with unravelling Seokjin’s creation, you feel a gentle nudge on your arm. You glance up to find Seokjin already staring at you, his face lighting up as you meet his gaze.
“You know what, angel, I don’t think I ever got to tell you about the time I first saw you.”
You give him a weary look, already knowing you’re probably not going to like where this is going. ”What do you mean? The day at the flower shop?”
“No, the first time, Y/n.” Seokjin smiles, a little bashful. ”It was, eight – nine? months ago, when I was on my way home after closing the shop. It was weird, I ended up taking a completely different route than I normally do and I wasn’t even sure why. There was just this pull, an urge to follow this unknown feeling and figure out what it meant. It ended up leading me to a random grocery store and I suddenly knew there was something I desperately needed in there. I had no clue what it could be, but I figured it would come to me as I walked around.”
“I had almost made my way through the entire building when I finally rounded an aisle, and watched as some kid ran straight into your legs, knocking you over. I almost thought I was dreaming when I felt the pain in my own legs as you connected with the floor. I had already come to terms with never meeting my soulmate, and there you suddenly were, right in front of me.” Seokjin’s voice is thick with emotion, his eyes glossy as he reaches out to take your hand in his.
Because you have to, you allow his warm fingers to wrap around yours, letting it chase away some of the chill in the room despite the fireplace roaring with life close by.
Hoseok and Jungkook look enraptured by Seokjin’s story, and think you can see a faint tremble to youngest’s lips. His tale clearly resonates with the other two, and you have no doubt the others would react similarly if they were here to hear it. It makes you a little jealous, almost, how they get to have memories of relief and happiness over finding their soulmate, while yours is shrouded in terror and confusion.
Seokjin gives you an apologetic smile, squeezing your hand as he says, "I’m sorry I didn’t help you at the time, darling, I was just too shocked.”
“It’s okay.” You murmur, ignoring the what ifs vying for attention in the back of your mind.
There’s one odd thing about Seokjin’s story though, something you’ve never heard about happening between unknown soulmates before.
”You mentioned feeling a pull? What’s that about?"
You think Heejun mentioned how he felt drawn to Jaemin for a few weeks after they found each other the first time, like their soulbond was urging them to strengthen their newfound connection. But that was after. There was never a pull that lead them together in that library, it was only luck – coincidence.
“I’m not sure,” Seokjin admits. ”It was the first and last time felt anything like it.”
“I got that feeling too, that day at the charity event. I normally don’t involve myself in other people’s business, but the thought of not checking out what was going on made my heart ache.” Hoseok adds, a small frown on his face as he rubs his chest.
“Me too. I wasn’t supposed to be in that shared class with Y/n last semester. I had enough credits to drop it, but the thought of doing it made me feel really anxious. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack the one time I actually tried to withdraw from it.” Jungkook says, hesitant eyes flickering from you and Seokjin’s intertwined hands to your face.
“I never felt it, though.” You frown.
You would’ve known if you had, right? If they all had such strong reactions, then there’s no way you could’ve missed all the signs.
Seokjin hums, something contemplating crossing over his features as he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. ”You’re not from around here, correct?”
Well, you’re definitely not from here, bumfuck nowhere in the middle of the woods. You bite back the snarky reply, knowing it won’t do you any good to voice it out loud. You’re sure Namjoon must’ve given them the rundown on everything he knows by now, especially with the extensive file he has access to, but since you’re trapped out here for god knows how long, you might as well humour Seokjin and play along.
“No. The city I grew up in is about two hours south by train.”
The three men all nod along like it’s new information, Seokjin even seeming a bit surprised. They would all make fine actors, you think.
“Why did you move here, then? If your friends and family were all back home.”
“The university is nice–”
Hoseok interrupts you with a tsk. ”The university in the next city over is miles better and you know it, sunshine.”
It is.
You even had the grades to be accepted there, if you had wanted to go.
“So? Why did you pick this specific university in this town?” Seokjin prompts, one eyebrow quirked.
You pause. Why did you pick this city to study in? Live in? It wasn’t the best option you had. Hell, the courses aren’t even that interesting compared to what’s offered at other universities. Heejun chose to join you after you had already made a decision, so it’s not like you can blame it on him, either.
“It … felt right.” You breathe.
That’s the only answer you have. There was just this feeling of rightness that washed over you when you settled on your current university, like this is where you were always supposed to be.
Seokjin looks pleased by your revelation, nodding his head as if to say there you go.
You feel yourself growing pale, heart racing and palms turning clammy as the truth slowly but surely sinks in. This entire time you had lived with the belief that the bond didn’t affect you, that there must have been a mistake – something you might be able to change. But this, this means that the pull had been there for you too, that it manifested itself with you first. You just didn’t know it.
None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t come here.
You stare down at the yarn in your lap, at the knots that have been untied and those that are still there. Maybe this was something you were never able to change. Perhaps Namjoon was right, that all of this was destined, and you would’ve ended up here no matter what choices you made.
You’re not sure what hurts most – the idea that fate handed you over to them, or that it was your own soul that betrayed you, tricked you, into this hell of a reality.
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Inhaling deeply, you feel the crisp air rush down your throat, nestling deep into your lungs. You keep your face turned towards the weak rays of sunlight streaming through the balding trees, lips twitching at the faint warmth that caresses your face. This is the first time you’ve been outside in weeks and you’re going to use the time you have for all that it’s worth.
The sound of crunching leaves interrupts your moment of peace.
You open your eyes slowly, steeling yourself before you turn back to look at Jungkook. He’s been keeping his distance since you came outside, letting you have a few minutes to yourself. You’re not stupid enough to think that this is him trusting you, though. Jungkook has been tense ever since you stepped outside the cabin, body strung as if he’s only waiting for the moment he’ll have to jump into action to hunt you down.
Thankfully, you’re not dumb enough to believe that you’ll manage get away even if you do try. It’s no coincidence that it’s Jungkook accompanying you outside, it’s easy to tell from his physique alone that he’s likely the strongest and fastest out of all of them. There’s also no chance that Jungkook suddenly decided you bring you outside by himself, without the others being involved first. You knew from the moment Jungkook hesitantly approached you that this was a test.
A test for them to see if you can be trusted; to see if you’ve been broken enough to stay, or if you’ll attempt to run away. 
It is tempting, now that you’re outside with the soft ground under your boots and the gentle wind brushing through your hair, but you know that playing the long game is the only thing that will truly get you out of here.
You hug your arms to your chest, pulling Jungkook’s padded jacket closer to your body to fend of the chill that’s started to cling to you. ”I’m getting cold, do you think we can walk for a bit?”
As it is, you’ve barely even moved away from the old house. He lead you out back, to the beginning of the open field behind the cabin, but you haven’t dared to venture much further without his permission. You want Jungkook to take the lead, to let him believe that he's the one in control even if you don’t trust a single bone in his body.
Jungkook pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, doe eyes flickering between you and the clearing nervously. He’s still standing a few feet behind you, just enough to give you the illusion of privacy despite the both of you knowing that you have none.
“We can walk to the tree and back.” He stumbles over the first word before he clears his throat and nods in the direction of the big oak tree in the middle of the clearing.
It’s not as far as you’d like, but you have a feeling it’s to make sure you don’t get too knowledgeable about your surroundings. Either way, you need to stretch your legs and move around to make sure your muscles work once you actually can escape, so the tree is better than nothing.
“Thank you.” You flash him a bright smile, a sense of ugly satisfaction curling in your gut at the way it makes Jungkook almost trip over his own feet.
You fall into step besides him once he closes the distance between you, allowing your arm to brush against his as you trudge through the withered grass and moss. The brief contact is enough to make Jungkook flustered, and even though you hate it, you know you have to keep initiating it in hopes that it'll break down his walls faster.
“The hyungs ..” Jungkook starts, his mouth pinching into a faint frown. ”The choices they made weren’t the right ones, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. I-I don’t like keeping you here but they – we – are scared of losing you, of you not giving us a chance if we let you go. They’re only trying to do what’s best for all of us, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.”
He sees the unconvinced look that passes over your face before you manage to school your features, the slight purse of your lips that tells him you’re not fully ready to accept the truth just yet. He continues still, voice filled with gentle mirth as he talks about the others.
“They’ve helped me a lot. The hyungs sort of took me under their wing the moment I met them. I-I, um, didn’t have the best childhood, my parents weren’t always k-kind, but the hyungs have always tried to make up for it – to make sure I never had to deal with that kind of hurt again. My s-stutter used to be much worse before, before they showed me what it felt like to be safe and happy.”
Your treacherous heart aches for him. You release a soft breath, letting go of the urge to take Jungkook into your arms with it. You keep your eyes on the pale blue sky, whispering out a simple, ”I’m sorry.”
“I-I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad for me.” Jungkook rushes to say.
”I don’t even know why I said it, I-I just … want you to know that deep down, they always mean well. When my parents cut me off, Seokjin hyung offered me a job even though business was too slow for an extra part-timer at the time. I hated working for hyung in the beginning. He practically forced me to, saying that exposure to people would help me overcome my shyness and s-stutter. I was always so anxious I couldn’t sleep the night before my shifts, worried s-sick that the customers would be mean and make fun of the way I talked. It was rough, but it helped. Hyung was always there to make sure it nothing bad happened. Seokjin hyung and the others have all taken care of me in their own ways, even if they may seem unconventional to others. The hyungs just care, so much, about the people they love. I-I really don’t know where I would be without them."
“I believe you.”
You don’t doubt that the others have taken good care of Jungkook, or that they all care for each other. You would have to be blind not to see that they’re all close friends, that they all love each other, regardless of the influence of the faint soulbond they share. They might mean well, they might think they’re doing the right thing, but that doesn’t excuse anything that has transpired in the last year.
You still hate them.
That won’t ever change.
“You do?” Jungkook’s doe eyes grow wide with surprise. His lips stretch into a happy grin when you nod, his soft curls bouncing against his cheek as his steps seem to get a little more pep in them.
You crane your head back as you reach the tree, looking up at the sun through the barren branches. You watch a couple of birds fly across the sky, spreading their wings as they dance with the wind, swooping and rising as it pleases them. Oh, how you wish you could join them. You’d be willing to give almost anything for a pair of wings to get yourself out of here. To fly away from the rotting earth under your feet and the heat of Jungkook’s gaze on your face.
You can see him toing at the fallen leaves out of the corner of your eye, his breath hitching every time he opens his mouth to say something, only to regret it and screw his lips shut immediately. He pauses, his chest rising and falling with unsure breaths, before he timidly admits, ”I-I think I might have been the one that helped Tae hyung send roses to your apartment.”
The suddenness catches you off guard. You turn to properly look at him, dumbfounded, as you wait for him to go on.
“I-I didn’t know it was you at the time! Hyung pulled me aside one night when we were all hanging out and asked me if I could help him deliver some flowers without Seokjin hyung knowing about it. Hyung looked so shy, so happy, when he mentioned he had found his soulmate and wanted to woo them properly. We never really talked about our marks – but Taehyung has always had the most trust in the soulmate system, he has always believed he would find his other half. So I-I was really touched that he wanted my help with something so special.”
“Tae hyung never gave me a name, just the address and the apartment number it should be delivered too. I-I didn’t know where you lived since I always left my letters in your locker, so I didn’t connect the dots until I saw him in Hoseok hyung’s shop. Back then, I wanted to respect hyung’s wishes and keep it a secret, he didn’t seem ready to share it with the whole group yet. He seemed particularly worried about Seokjin hyung, that it would affect him badly because his own soulmate had died–”
Jungkook looks like he’s bitten into something sour as the word leaves his tongue. He shakes his head, eyes rolling before he adds, “which obviously wasn’t true – but I understood his reasoning at the time. I regret not asking him more about it, though.”
You blink at him, another piece of the puzzle clicking into place. That is why Seokjin didn’t have any information about the roses, because Jungkook had done it off the books.
For the first time since you stepped outside, Jungkook adverts his gaze to the ground. He hangs his head, a deep furrow appearing between his brows as he stares down at the dying grass. Jungkook pouts, his lip beginning to wobble before he hurriedly pulls it between his teeth. The scrape of his teeth as he bites down on the soft flesh leaves a faint sting in your own; the cruel reminder of your bond causing you to clench your fists.
Jungkook sounds regretful, quiet, when he finally says, "I wish I hadn’t helped hyung cause you even more pain.”
You close your eyes, allowing yourself a brief moment to collect yourself. What are you supposed to say? It’s okay? Because it’s not. I forgive you? Because you don’t.
You turn on your heel, shoving your fists deep into your pockets to hide the way they tremble. ”You didn’t know.”
Jungkook lets out a wounded sound, something close to a hiccup, as he keeps his head bowed in apology.
“I’m still sorry, Y/n.”
“Okay.” You murmur.
Remorse you can work with. If Jungkook is truly regretful of what he’s done, you should be able to use that to your advantage.
You swallow thickly, stepping closer to nudge his shoulder with your own. Jungkook’s dark eyes shine with guilt as he raises his head, face nothing short of distraught as he meets your gaze.
“Let’s go back, Jungkookie.” You give him a weak smile, the nickname foreign as it rolls off your tongue.
It has the intended effect though, as you watch Jungkook’s mouth fall open, a star struck expression taking over his features. You’ve been mentally prepping yourself for this moment for days, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. This is the first time you’ve reciprocated the same closeness, familiarity, that they’ve been suffocating you with ever since you got here. The fact that Jungkook is the first one to hear it is a big deal, one you hope will make the others jealous – miserable – as they hopelessly wait for their turn.
You take a step forward, waiting for Jungkook to snap out of his daze before you continue walking any further. The guilt on his face has softened into something sweeter, doe eyes sparkling, as he begins to lead you back to the cabin.
You can work with this, you think. Maybe if you continue to focus on Jungkook, on the remorse he carries and how eager he is for you forgiveness, you can manipulate him into letting you go. Maybe you can go out for a walk again, ask for some alone time now that he thinks you won’t run–
You squeak as you step on a patch of frozen mud, feet sliding out from underneath you. In the fraction of the second it takes for Jungkook to grab you, all you can think is; not again. He pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest as he drags you away from slippery patch. Your face is smushed against his padded jacket, your chests falling and rising in tandem from the scare.
You swear it’s like a flip has been switched ever since you got here, your clumsiness levels having gone from ten to a hundred. You were never this bad back in the city; but you also were never this caught up in your own thoughts with planning possible escape routes, either.
“I’m fine.” You blurt out before Jungkook can open his mouth to ask. "Thank you for catching me. Uh, again.”
Jungkook hugs you close, arms squeezing around your waist in reply before he leans back to look at you. The proximity makes you gulp, your throat suddenly painfully dry as you stare at him up-close. With his face so close to yours, you can’t help but notice the small mole beneath his lips, or how pink and glossy his mouth looks after he mindlessly wets it. The cold temperature outside has given his cheeks a healthy flush, adding even more charm to his already cute face.
Despite everything that has happened, you can’t deny the fact that Jungkook is handsome. Pretty - in fact.
Your heart tumbles in your chest as Jungkook takes a tiny step closer. You can barely even feel his hands anymore, the pressure on your waist so light you would think you were made of glass. It’s a stark contrast to how bone crushingly heavy his gaze feels. There’s something intense, yet nervous, in his eyes as they slowly roam over your face, almost like he’s carefully committing every detail to memory.
Your brain is screaming at you to step away, to run, as his face cautiously moves closer to yours, but you can’t seem to move, feet frozen to the cold ground. Even with the sun shining down at you, you swear you can make out stars in Jungkook’s dark eyes as he leans in. Heart racing, you tilt your head, eyelids swooping low as the air fogs up between you.
A particularly harsh breath of air escapes from your lips, the force strong enough to create a misty cloud that momentarily separates you from Jungkook as the condensation drifts upwards. The fleeting veil between you is enough to snap you back to your senses. The weirdly anticipatory fluttering of your heart screeches to a halt, immediately being replaced by a violent shiver of horror as the air clears.
“Jungkook.” Your voice sounds strangled even to your own ears.
Jungkook stops in his tracks as you call out his name, dazed eyes sweeping up from your lips to the strained expression on your face. You would think a cold bucket of water has been dumped over his head with how quickly he releases you, hands yanked away from your body as he stumbles back.
“Y/n, I–” He cuts himself off, face fluctuating between longing and sadness as he looks away. Jungkook shoves his shaking hands into his pockets, voice weak as he says. ”Let’s go back to the cabin.”
You nod, tightly gripping on to the sides of your jacket as you curl your arms protectively around your middle. You once again fall into step beside him, the distance between the two of you much greater than it was before. Your heart is still galloping away in your chest, your stomach tight with nerves. You should be disgusted, repulsed, that Jungkook tried to kiss you, but all you can feel is just – confusion. Jungkook wasn’t the only person that leaned in.
For a split second, no matter how brief it was, you wanted it too.
You swallow down the bile rising in your throat, keeping your gaze firmly locked onto the ground as the cabin’s shadow begins to loom over you. This isn’t good. It’s hard to weed out the cause of your moment of weakness; maybe it was cabin fever, or maybe your basic need for human affection latched on to the person that seemed the least threatening. Or, perhaps worst of all, maybe your soulbond is beginning to turn on you – beginning to accept them despite the circumstances forcing you together.
You cast one last glance up at the weak sun, hugging yourself tight. You whisper out a small prayer to the remaining leaves rustling in the trees, begging that all of this won’t cause you to lose yourself. That you won’t lose sight of the only goal you have.
Escape.
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In hindsight, you should’ve known the pretending could only go on for so long.
You breathe in slowly through your nose, carefully scrubbing away any traces of dirt from the carrots in front of you. Cold water flows over your hands whenever you go to rinse one off but the sensation barely even registers, your mind all too aware of the eyes boring holes into your back.
You had jumped at the chance to help Yoongi in the kitchen – any low effort activity that still made it seem like you wanted to be near them were your favourite – but you hadn’t accounted for Taehyung and Jimin to join you as well.
It's unnerving, feeling their eyes following every minuscule movement you make as you follow Yoongi’s instructions. The tasks he gives you are superficial, washing vegetables and stirring pots, but there’s not much else for you to do when you’re not allowed near any knives. Still, regardless of how simple they are, you try to take your time doing them whenever you help Yoongi out.
Normally it’s just to buy yourself a few extra minutes of silence in the kitchen since the others tend to stay clear of it, but now, it’s the sinking feeling in your stomach that makes your movements drag.
Taehyung and Jimin are up to something. You’re very aware that they aren’t as gullible as the rest - that they’re on to what you’re trying to do.
You carefully place the shiny carrot on the cutting board besides you, listening to the steady chop chop chop of Yoongi’s knife as he dices it up for the stew he’s making. He’s muttering something under his breath, his dark brows knitted together in concentration as he stares down at the knife.
He never rushes you, you’ve found.
Regardless of the reason why – maybe he believes you’re being slow to spend more time with him or maybe he knows you need a break from the others some times – you know Yoongi doesn’t mind it. After all, it means he gets more alone time with you.
“Ah–” Yoongi pauses, knife hitting the cutting board with a dull thud. ”I forgot the new spices in the car! I’ll be right back.”
“Sure.” You nod, feeling uneasy as you run another carrot under the slow stream of water.
You look over your shoulder, watching Yoongi step back from the counter, knife still in hand as he turns around to face Taehyung and Jimin. He points it in their direction, eyes narrowed as he drawls out a stern, ”Behave.”
Taehyung scoffs, childishly turning up his nose at Yoongi’s demand as he leans back in his chair.
“I’m offended, hyung. When have we not?” Jimin rolls his eyes.
Yoongi’s jaw locks, a frustrated rush of air leaving his nose. ”Like I said, I’ll be right back.”  He shakes his head as he goes, throwing the pair another pointed glare before he exits the kitchen.
The moment Yoongi steps out the door; Taehyung and Jimin’s eyes seem to snap to each other like magnets. It’s nothing more than a quick glance, but even just that brief contact carries enough weight to make the alarms in your head blare.
You whip your head back to the sink, hoping they didn’t notice you watching them. Sending out a silent wish for Yoongi to return within the next ten seconds, you resume cleaning the vegetables in front of you, praying the pair will leave you be if you look busy enough.
Only a slow second passes before Jimin’s airy voice calls out to you from the kitchen table.
“Baby, is Yoongi hyung working you too hard? You know you can just relax and let us take care of things, right?”
You stiffen at the question, muscles locking up under the wave of tension that grips your body. Forcing your hands to keep moving, you let out a strained answer in return. ”I-I don’t mind. I like helping out.”
“Ah. I see.”
You can't be sure, not with your back turned and his expression hidden from view, but you swear for a split second that Jimin sounded jealous.
“So, you’re enjoying your time here, then?” He asks, voice deceptively calm.
Nervous, you wet your lips, scrubbing harder at the squeaky clean carrot in your hand. What game is he playing?
“Of course.” You say, proud of the way your voice doesn’t falter.
Jimin hums. The sound is accompanied by slow rhythmic taps against the kitchen table, almost as if he's unknowingly thrumming his fingers as he thinks. Except – the motion is too controlled, too deliberate.
He’s trying to set you on edge.
“There’s nothing you’d want to change? You like being here with us?”
It’s a trap, you know it is, but how can you do anything else besides walk right into it? You can’t tell Jimin the truth. Not when you’ve already come this far.
Jimin must revel in the knowledge that he’s got you cornered.
You clutch the edge of the sink as a chair screeches behind you, soft footsteps padding across the floor until you can feel someone hovering behind you. You squeeze your eyes shut as Taehyung’s familiar cologne invades your nose. You can’t focus with him, who’s practically danger personified, standing so close.
What’s taking Yoongi so long?
Gritting your teeth, you slowly place the clean carrot on Yoongi’s cutting board, praying Taehyung doesn’t notice the way your hand trembles. Jimin asked you a question, but you can’t seem to recall what it was, his voice all muddled together in your head. Flustered, the only thing you can seem to focus on are the soft puffs of air hitting your hair, Taehyung quite literally breathing down your neck. You must take too long because you suddenly find yourself being spun around, the world moving too fast until you find yourself caged between Taehyung’s arms, pressed against the counter.
You jerk back, surprised, heart in your throat as Taehyung’s intense eyes stare you down.
“Answer Jiminie's question, babe.”
You hold his gaze, your skin crawling as you muster up a shaky smile.
“Y-Yes. I didn’t see it at first but I understand it now, why you all did it.” The words are painful to push out, your tongue hesitating to curve around your blatant lies. ”I’m h-happy here – with you.”
Jimin makes a delighted sound, but it’s just as fake as the bravado on your face.
“Are you now? That’s great, baby. I guess none of us are making you uncomfortable, then? We haven’t been ah, overstepping, any boundaries?”
“Of course not.”
Taehyung cocks his head, face flat as he asks. ”So you don’t like Jungkook and Yoongi better than the rest of us?”
“What?” You breathe, taken aback.
You can’t believe your plan might have actually worked.
It’s been a few days since your outing with Jungkook and you’ve been nervously waiting for one of them to bring it up. There’s no way they didn’t wring him out for details afterwards. Maybe they haven’t caught on what you’ve been doing at all, too busy stewing in their jealousy of the others?
“You seem to have grown … close, lately.” Taehyung frowns. ”So, do you? Like them more than us?”
You hate them all equally.
“No.” You’re quick to shake your head. The longer you manage to convince them you care for all of them whilst giving a few special treatment, the better. It’s bound to cause some friction between them, no matter how close they are.
Taehyung lights up, his boxy smile coming in at full force at your rebuttal.
A cough from Jimin is all it takes for it to disappear.
A shiver racks down your spine as you watch the light dim just as quickly as it arrived, his grin faltering as suspicion seems to creep in. He inches closer, scrutinizing your face as he asks, ”Y/n, do you love us?”
“I–” You swallow thickly.
You assumed they would ask at some point but not right now. Not when you’re already struggling to keep your panic at bay and your head on straight. You feel like you’re walking on a tightrope, the edges fraying at both sides.
Still, you manage to force out a shaky, ”I’m your soulmate, how can I not?”
That seems to be enough to placate him, Taehyung’s smile returning once again. This time though, his lips stretch into something more sinister than kind. It makes you realize your mistake a little too late – you never should have worded it as a challenge.
“Yeah?” Taehyung leans in, eyebrows quirking as his gaze dips down to your lips. ”Prove it then.”
You freeze as Taehyung’s hands find your waist, long fingers holding you firmly in place. Your mind races as his face draws closer and closer, Taehyung darting his tongue out to wet his lips.
They tricked, lured you, right into this. You never had the upper hand. It seems that the only person who’s been played is you.
Your eyes widen in alarm as his flutter closed, gaze darting around wildly as you look for a way to escape. There’s no natural way for you to duck away from Taehyung, no lies that will make sense. They’ve caught you and you have no doubt they’ll tattle to the others if you don’t kiss him.
The rational part of your brain is yelling at you to just do it! – you’ve come too far to throw all that progress away over a simple kiss. But the rest of you aches, mourns, the idea. To give yourself away so easily to someone you hate so deeply. Taehyung may see someone he loves, someone he thinks he knows; but all you can see as you look at his face is anxiety and terror; your sanity slipping through your fingers like sand.
He’s so close, brows starting to furrow in confusion as he never meets your lips, unaware of how you’ve been pulling back to keep your distance. Your neck is starting to cramp from the odd angle, hands shaking by your sides as Taehyung’s sweater brushes against them.
He lets out an annoyed breath, the fingers on your waist tightening as if he’s going to pull you against his chest to get you closer.
You can’t. You can’t, you can’t–
Your hands fly out, pushing Taehyung away. You feel cracked open, panicked, the fear and anger you’ve been suppressing ever since you woke up here spilling out and engulfing you from head to toe.
The force causes Taehyung to stumble back, shocked, until he hits the edge of the kitchen table. He blinks at you like he doesn’t understand what’s going on, like he doesn’t know what he just tried to do. He raises a hand as if he’s going to reach out for you, come back, despite your rejection.
They’ll never change.
They’ll never understand.
A sickening wave of terror crashes over you, mixing with the panic as it builds and builds and builds– until you finally, simply – break.
“Do not touch me.” You let out a shrill scream, a note of hysteria colouring your voice. ”How could I ever love you, when this is how you treat me? When you’ve ruined my life?”
Straightening up, you step away from the counter, pulse roaring in your ears as you stare Taehyung down. "The thought makes me sick. Our soulbond is a mistake, a cruel joke, and I don’t accept it. I’d rather die than fall in love with the likes of you – any of you."
Taehyung looks stricken. He must’ve known you weren’t completely truthful if he decided to scheme with Jimin, and yet, he clearly didn’t quite grasp just how vehemently you actually hate him – them. Underneath the panic, there’s a sick sense of satisfaction curling in your gut as Taehyung’s throat keeps bobbing, his dark eyes welling up under your hard glare.
A heavy silence settles over the kitchen as your voice tapers off. Yoongi’s soup has begun to boil and sputter, but you can barely hear it over your own ragged breaths. The burst of bravery you had is already dying off, leaving you trembling in place as it dawns on you just how badly you’ve fucked up.
You startle as Jimin’s low whistle fills the air.
“There she is.”
You jerk your head in his direction, finding Jimin languidly leaning back in a chair, seemingly unaffected by everything you just hurtled at them. You can detect a hint of annoyance, like he’s angry he was proven right, but the smirk pulling at his mouth speaks louder. Jimin looks amused, excited, that you finally showed your true colours.
“What?” You seethe.
“I knew it.” Jimin’s gaze feels like tiny knives, the coldness in them a terrible juxtaposition to the growing smile on his face. ”You’re not broken in at all, are you, baby?”
Bile shoots up your throat so fast you’re surprised you manage to not throw up. You clench you teeth, hands shaking with rage by your sides.
You want to punch him so, so badly.
Even though you know you’ll only end up hurting yourself in the process, you still find yourself moving forward, vision zeroed in on Jimin's gloating expression.
You’ve only taken a few steps when Yoongi rushes back into the room, Hoseok hot on his heels. They both look you up and down, checking for any visible injuries, before they take in the fury on your face.
“What’s going on?” Yoongi asks. His concern morphs into anger as he looks from you to Jimin and Taehyung, their wildly different expressions painting quite the story.
You have enough wits left to know that you need to leave before Jimin opens his mouth. Yoongi may be annoyed with him now for upsetting you, but you’re sure that’ll change once he hears what you just threw in their faces. It doesn’t take a genius to know that this is going to turn out very bad for you.
You take your chance as Hoseok hisses a low 'Park Jimin’ under his breath, sidestepping Yoongi as he stalks over to Jimin’s chair.
Bolting out of the room, you manage to catch Yoongi so off guard that he doesn’t have time to stop you, and Hoseok is too far away to grab you even if he wanted to. You run past Seokjin in the hallway, surprise blooming on his face as you enter your room, slamming the door shut behind you.
Panicked, you grab the desk chair, propping it under the door handle to hold it shut. You have no key, nothing to lock it with, so you hurriedly shove whatever furniture you can up to the door, creating a makeshift barricade you know won’t hold them back for very long once they hear the full story from Jimin.
You fist your hair, eyes burning with tears as you pace around the room. You flinch at the loud yelling carrying all the way from the kitchen, six voices rising and falling as they argue heatedly. The door muffles the sounds, but you can still hear your name being shouted back and fourth, over and over again.
Your chest feels so tight you can barely breathe, lungs refusing to expand as terror clings to your body like a second skin. Everything you worked for over the last month was all for nothing, there’s no way they’ll ever trust you after this. You stumble forward, gripping the edge of the bed to steady yourself. There’s no doubt in your mind that they'll do something more drastic to feed their fantasies, that they’ll chain you up somewhere and lose themselves so deep in their delusions that their last bits of sanity will slip away if it means they’ll get to have you.
“No, no, no…” You let out a muffled cry, silently sobbing into your hand as you keep pacing around the room, desperate to find anything that might help you.
You nearly collapse to the floor when you notice something shiny poking out from under your bed, the metal gleaming in the muted light. The bookmark. It must’ve fallen out when you pushed your bedside table over to the door.
Rushing over to snatch it up, you weigh the cool surface in your hand as you spin around to face the window.
You’ve already doomed yourself by blowing up at Jimin.
There’s nothing left for you to lose.
Heart in your throat, you hurry over to the window. You find the small patch you have left, using all the force you can muster to quickly chip away the last of the paint sealing it shut. You dig it in, gritting your jaw as your palm aches with every hit. The yelling in the kitchen hasn’t seized so they must be too engrossed in their arguing to notice the faint pain.
You drop the bookmark to the floor as the last touch of dried paint is gone, gripping the ledge of the window as you start pushing upwards.
It’s not moving.
“Come on.” You grunt, exhaling harshly through your nose as your arms begin to burn under the strain.
You step back, giving your muscles a moment of rest before you resume your grip, putting all your remaining strength into one final push. You’re not sure what does it, maybe it's your adrenaline giving you one last boost, or maybe the universe hears your whispered please against the glass, but the window groans – and opens.
You blink at the fresh air that rushes in, in disbelief that it actually worked. You can get out of here.
You can run.
Wasting no time, you throw a leg out of the window, twisting around to grip the ledge as you carefully lower yourself to the ground. The cabin is only slightly raised from the ground but this isn’t the time to be hasty. Not when you can taste freedom in the crisp autumn air, the dark woods around you welcoming you in with barren branches. If you hurt yourself now, it’s game over.
You wince as your feet reach the freezing ground, the cold seeping right through your woollen socks. You hold your breath, sticking close to the wall and hunching down whenever you pass by a window. You’re going in the opposite direction of the kitchen, but you can’t take any chances.
It’s only when you’ve peeked around the edge of the house, making sure the coast is clear, that you sprint directly for the woods surrounding you.
You hit it at an angle, making sure you won’t be seen from the front of the house while still keeping yourself somewhat parallel to the dirt road you noticed before. It’s too risky to use it, your recapture almost a certain thing if you do. There’s a greater chance of shaking them off under the covers of low branches and fallen trees, so you stick to the dark woods, knowing it’s your ticket out.
You duck under a branch, breath fogging up the air in front of you as you run. Everything aches and burns, but you push through it with clenched teeth, ignoring the taste of blood in your mouth. Being held in the cabin for a month has ruined your stamina, your body protesting the intense movement more than normal but your flight instinct is enough to keep you on your feet. You can barely feel them underneath you; the wet mud coating your socks has chilled you to the bone.
Wheezing, you push a thorny bush out of your way, not even registering the deep cuts they leave on your hands. The pain doesn’t matter. You’d sacrifice a limb if it meant you would get away from them.
You’re not sure how long you’ve been running, or how far you’ve gone, but it’s not far enough. Not when you can still make out the faint, panicked screams of your name echoing through the night.
Their calls makes your stomach twist in fear, a terrible reminder of what awaits you if they catch up with you. They must know what direction you’re heading in by now, but you intend to use your head start for what it’s worth. You’re going to let the adrenaline pumping through your veins take you as far as you can go; until your body collapses, or you’re somewhere safe. Whichever comes first.
It feels like you’ve run for an eternity through the woods by the time you see gravel turning into concrete.
You halt by the tree line, clinging on to a low branch as you gasp for air. Your lungs are burning, collapsing, and the air you gulp down stings with every breath. You’re so tired you can barely stand anymore, and yet, you know you need to keep moving. You need to reach the small cluster of lights twinkling far, far away in the distance.
You press your forehead against the cold bark, hoping the dark spots clouding your vision will settle down if you can only catch your breath. Startled, you wince as something light floods through your eyelids, gaze snapping open to find headlights illuminating the dark roads in front of you.
You sway on your feet, staring at the car driving towards you in utter shock. It’s coming from the direction of the city, which means it can’t be them.
You’re saved.
You’re saved.
You stumble into the road, waving your hands desperately as you yell for the car to stop, stop, stop, please stop!
The driver hits the breaks hard, the harsh headlights blinding you as the tires screech against the road. You raise a hand, shielding your eyes from the bright lights. The driver’s startled scream is muffled by the car, the vehicle groaning as it’s forced to come to an abrupt stop a few feet away.
You squint as the driver’s door is flung open, the outline of a man scrambling out. He grips the edge of the door, chest heaving with what you assume is quick breaths from the near miss he just had. The apology for scaring him is on the tip of your tongue, but before you can say anything, the man releases a harsh exhale into the night, the car lights illuminating his breath as it drifts upwards.
“Y/n?"
Your heart promptly drops to your stomach.
Namjoon.
He looms over the car as he shuts the door, the soft click loud as a gunshot in the quiet air.
It can’t be, he – he left yesterday. You allowed him to hug you for far longer than you liked, all because he was supposed to be gone for two days. Not one. Namjoon wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near the cabin today. It didn’t even graze your mind that the driver could be him – that fate could be so cruel to lead you right back to them.
You slowly lower your hand, a new surge of panic building inside of you.
You can run, but you’re tired, and Namjoon is not. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll catch you before you even make it off the road. It’s not like you can knock him out and steal the car either, you wouldn’t have been able to overpower him even if you were freshly rested. He’ll drag you back to that cabin kicking and screaming, or – you have one last thing you can try.
Dread weighs you down as you rush forward, making every step feel slow and sluggish, wrong, as you propel yourself right into Namjoon’s arms.
“Namjoon,” You choke, clawing the back of his coat as you press yourself closer, tighter. ”Please – please, take me away from here. I only want to be with y-you, not the others. Don’t make me go back, please.”
“Darling,” Namjoon breathes, utterly overwhelmed. The strong arms wrapping around your back feel like steel bars, caging you against his chest, sealing your fate. ”I don’t understand, Y/n, what–"
“I need you. Only you.”
You just need him to accept, to take you away. He knows the others, knows where they’ll look first and what they’ll do, and once you’re sure you’re safe from them, you’ll figure out a way to escape from Namjoon too.
You flinch at the sound of an incoming call connecting to the car’s speakers, the volume loud even through closed doors. Pulling back, you twist your head just enough to glance at the name displayed across the media system.
JIMIN.
The call disconnects when it isn’t picked up, and your blood runs cold as another one immediately comes in, Hoseok’s name replacing Jimin’s.
They surely can’t know that you’re with Namjoon right now, they’re probably calling to let him know you’re gone, but it only ramps up your nerves, lighting another spark on the fuse that’s already burning up too fast.
Namjoon is staring at the same spot you are, expression tight. The furrow between his brows grows deeper the more he thinks, and you need him to not to that. You need him to trust you. Forget the rest.
“Namjoon,” You whisper sweetly, smiling through the tremor in your voice. You reach up to cup his face, turning his full attention back to you with an icy caress. His skin feels burning hot against you chilled skin, a low buzz spreading from the tips of your fingers all the way up your arm the longer you touch him.
Namjoon looks at you with wide eyes, his lips parted in shock at your willing affection. Everything about him is tense and unsure, but he still leans into your palm, seeking comfort in your touch.
“The others ... they can’t c-care for me the same way that you do. You’re the only soulmate I need, the only one I want. Won’t you please take me away? I really l-like you.”
You let your voice grow softer and softer the closer you lean in, your last words practically whispered into his lips. Namjoon shivers, his dark eyes turning hazy at the close proximity, at how his dreams are so close to coming true.
Nausea swirls in your stomach as his hot breath spills across your mouth, your heart thundering in your chest. Everything just feels so numb, frozen; your emotions too frayed and exhausted to act up, and your body too chilled to move. Still, you use the shaking hand behind Namjoon’s back to pull him closer, your iced lips clumsily grazing the side of his mouth.
This is it, you think as Namjoon’s eyes flutter closed and his breath hitches, you have him.
You just need a little more, just one proper kiss to convince him and then your escape is secured.
You’re just about to inch off the ground to make sure you find his lips when something pained flashes across Namjoon’s face, and he leans back, out of reach.
Confused, you watch as he releases a deep sigh, turning his head to gaze up at the night sky. He watches it for a second, seemingly finding whatever answer he was reaching for, and looks back at you.
“You’re lying to me, aren’t you?” Namjoon asks, his dark eyes brimming with hurt.
“W-what? No!” You scramble to pull him close, both hands tugging on the lapel of his coat, but Namjoon doesn’t budge.
“I want to believe you but I can’t, darling.” He shakes his head. ”I have to bring you back.”
“I can’t! Please, I can’t go back, this isn’t what I want–” You plead, desperate, as you try to push away from Namjoon’s chest.
He simply tightens his grip in response, pulling you flush against him until you can feel his heart racing alongside your own. He shushes any attempts of begging, rocking you back and forth as you heave in his arms.
"I would love to whisk you away and keep you all to myself, but it wouldn’t be fair to the others, Y/n. You’re their soulmate, too.”
Namjoon’s voice sounds murky and muffled, insignificant, in comparison to the terror gripping your body.
You can’t go back.
Whatever it is they have in store for you, you’d rather die than experience it.
“What about me?!” You sob, hot tears burning down your cheeks as you weakly hit Namjoon’s chest. ”How is any of this fair to me?”
Namjoon pauses, thinks, before he rests his head on top of yours; nodding into your hair as he says, ”It’s not."
“It’s not fair to you, but this is the best we can do. We’re trying, Y/n, and it's about time you start doing that too.”
Something in you shatters.
Your heart, you think. Maybe your mind.  
They don’t care. No matter what you do or what you say, if it doesn’t match the reality they’ve made up in their heads, they won’t care.
You’re on your own. A scared little lamb clever enough to escape the slaughterhouse, but not smart enough to avoid the wolf. And now it’s bringing you back to be eaten, torn apart, by his whole pack.
Your body can’t handle the myriad of emotions that crash over you all at once. You slump in Namjoon’s arms, legs giving out underneath you. He holds you close, murmuring something you can’t make out as you stare up at the night sky with glossy, unseeing eyes.
You’re just so tired.
The past year has been one big trauma, one you never processed, and now, you got a taste of freedom only for it to be crushed under the tires of Namjoon’s car.
You’re exhausted.
Your vision tilts as you’re lifted of the ground, your numb feet barely feeling the ground leaving them.
You’re cold.
The night sky grows darker and darker, swallowing up the stars one by one as you’re carried around the side of the car. The darkness fills your sight until it’s the only thing you can see, a blast of warm air engulfing your body as a door clicks open.
A low apology is whispered into the car. Dry lips press against your forehead.
You give up.
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a/n: please consider supporting me by buying me a ko-fi! 💖
wooo lots of things happened in this one! what do you think about y/n’s chat with seokjin? her walk with jungkook? what vmin was trying to pull in the kitchen? did you think namjoon was going to show up and take her back? let me know, i’m eager to hear your thoughts!!
you know the drill - everything is unbetaed so please excuse any mistakes!
stream indigo and wish seokjin a happy b-day!! 
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n-agiz · 9 months
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EX BOYFRIEND! TOJI HCSㅤfluff + angst + smut [ fem! reader ] cws masturbation (m) + dacryphilia + big dick toji obv ! MDNI
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EX BOYFRIEND! TOJI who simply refuses to leave your life. you're broken up, and he knows it, but that doesn't mean you have to suddenly forget about each other’s existence and pretend that what you had never happened. he still shows up at your doorstep late at night without any prior warning, a smug smirk on his face when he asks if you're doing anything, knowing damn well that you'll let him come in regardless of your answer. you allow him to do as he pleases, come when he wants and leave when he sees fit, but still tell yourself that you are the one in control of the situation, that if you decide so, toji will have to permanently get lost — that being the only excuse that lets you still have your ex in your life without any guilt.
EX BOYFRIEND! TOJI who still acts just as jealous and protective as he once was even if you continuously remind him he shouldn't feel that way towards you anymore. he still happily gives you the so called "scary dog privilege" whenever you two go out, looking all tough and rough beside you and scaring away any potential suitors of yours with a simple look. sometimes that's nice, the feeling of being able to relax without worrying about being annoyed a welcomed one, but other times he goes a bit overboard, treating you like you're still his and overstepping any boundaries you put in place just so he can feel better about himself. you always fight with him over it, telling toji that he's way out of line and simply storming off before the whole situation turns into a bigger mess than it needs to be — but then he comes back to you, apologizing and promising he will work on it and although you don't want to believe him, you always do.
EX BOYFRIEND! TOJI who, despite all the stress and headaches he gives you, can still be a good friend. he listens to you when you're down, gives you a shoulder to cry on and truthfully worries about you, no seconds intentions hidden behind his gaze in those moments, pure concern the only thing crossing it. he cares about you, always has, even if most of the time he doesn't know how to show it properly, and that was the only reason why he took you wanting to break up with him so easily — because if you think you'll be better apart, if that will make you happier, than he has no choice but to comply.
EX BOYFRIEND! TOJI who lays in bed late at night, alone, thinking about you. those are the moments when he misses you most, when the empty spot in his bed that you once occupied feels cold and when your random sleepy rambles don't fill up the space. he starts thinking about you, thinking about how good you would feel between his arms, and sometimes, just sometimes, his minds ends up drifting elsewhere, ending up landing on thoughts of your pussy, of how tight and warm it felt around his heavy cock, and how much he misses it in that moment. he lets his eyes slide close, lips parting in a deep sigh as he palms himself through his boxers, feeling his erection form. he imagines you, sitting on top of him, hands propped on his stomach as you lower yourself on his dick, complaining about how big it is, how the stretch burns but still never considering slowing down, determined to fit all of him inside you. he always thought you looked the cutest like that, with tears brimming the corners of your eyes when you finally felt him completely fill you up, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix perfectly.
"that feels good?" toji would ask, tone gruff but eyes filled with complete adoration, thumbs drawing slow circles on your thighs, trying to help you relax in any way he could. he loved how you would nod at him, lowering yourself to kiss him so he couldn't see just how flustered you already were. thinking about that, about how beautiful you were and about how much he loved you — then and even still now — made toji's cock ache, the thick length twitching between his fingers as he hissed, trying not to cum so early, wanting to savour whatever memories he still had of you to the fullest, wondering if someday he would be able to make some new ones with you.
EX BOYFRIEND! TOJI who, by accident, still says you're his girlfriend sometimes. when someone asks who the pretty girl on his lockscreen is, the one that he's looking at all too tenderly on a photo that seems to have been perfectly timed, he says it's his girlfriend, only realizing a second too late that such title doesn't belong to you anymore but feeling too embarrassed to correct himself. or when old ladies see you two on the street and decide to comment on how you make a cute couple, he never denies it, simply nodding and saying a thank you before you admit you're not actually dating — those times the lie always being intentional and not a small mistake.
EX BOYFRIEND! TOJI who, on a late night, when you two had too much to drink and were laying in your living room's floor suddenly felt like crying. he's couldn’t recall ever feeling so overwhelmed by sadness or longing before, at least not at that level, but he suddenly remembered all your late night talks, how intimate they were and how much comfort they brought him, and he just missed them a tad too much.
"are you crying?" you asked uncertain, knowing that you were slightly drunk but definitely not enough to start seeing things.
"'m not" he mumbled in the least convincing manner anyone could, swiping his fingers over his warm cheeks and looking away from you, biting his bottom lip to stop himself from letting things go any further.
but then you hugged him — you didn't ask what was wrong, didn't force him to confess anything and didn't put the spotlight on him — you just hugged him, trying to comfort him even if you didn't know exactly what had upset him, and toji swore he hadn't felt as much at home like he did in that moment since you two broke up, confirming once more that you were the one for him, the one he should be with, and that being apart from you felt like slow torture, each day slightly more painful than the last.
EX BOYFRIEND! TOJI who decides to finally sit down and talk with you about how he feels. he doesn't want to be selfish, or to make you pity him in any way, but he is hurting, and he feels like the only thing that might make his anguish a little lighter is admitting his feelings to you.
it's clumsy, the way he speaks, and it shows how unprepared and nervous and full on inexperienced he is at this — but you understand him, understand his message and worst off all get what he feels because you are also in a similar boat. you thought your time had passed, which was why you broke up, you explained once toji had told you everything he wanted to get off his chest, but you had been wondering for months if you had made the right decision, and his confession was the only proof you needed to know you hadn’t, and that if anything, you couldn’t have been any more wrong.
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N-AGIZ '23ㅤ REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED !
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kdogreads · 10 months
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Imagine being Gibbs’ girl
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He tries to keep his rough exterior, but he totally melts for you
He’ll definitely dance with you in the basement if you ask sweetly enough, and even if he pretends not to, he loves just swaying with you to some old country loves songs.
(This would definitely play through his radio)
Or kiss every one of you fingers if you come home from work and say they’re sore.
He will put you back in the car if you try to open your own door.
He’ll learn how to put your hair in a pony tail or a bun if you hurt your shoulder and can’t do it yourself. Plus he’ll keep brushing your hair for you, sitting snugly between his thighs and enjoying his warmth, long after you heal.
He sings to you if you wake up in the night reliving your darkest times in your dreams. He’ll wrap you up as tightly as he can in his strong arms, strong enough to remind you you’re safe with him, and whisper the words to any old song that pops into his head.
He loves to leave you little notes by the coffee pot or on your bedside table when he leaves before you do:
Have a good day, my love. See you tonight
- J
You agree not to marry early in the relationship
You’d both been around that block more than once, and it seemed like that fancy piece of paper just complicates things.
Of course, you’re exclusive to one another, but you just can’t bring yourselves to risk changing what you have by changing your last name. It seems so insignificant when you think of it that way.
Most of your neighbors and friends just assume you’re married, anyway. So when a letter arrives in the mail addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Gibbs, you aren’t surprised. It makes you smile to see it on paper, but nothing is going to change your minds on this.
His love language is 100% acts of service
He’ll unload the dishwasher, fold the laundry, bring you home fresh flowers for no reason at all, have dinner ready if he somehow makes it home before you do one day. He rarely lets you bring in any groceries or luggage. Even though he knows you are tough enough to literally take him down, he wouldn’t dare letting you carry something too heavy or inconvenient.
Any little thing he can do to brighten your day, he does.
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In turn, the small acts you grant him, like taking his suit jackets to the dry cleaners, setting his shoes and thermos out for him before work, picking up a new book about boats, make him fall even more in love with you.
He makes you things
J will make you anything he thinks you might like. A wooden stand for your plants, a step stool when you mention that the bed is just a little bit high off the ground for you, shelves to proudly display your knick knacks, a sled for Christmas after you tell him you never had one as a child.
He’d even try his hand at a ukulele if you mention wanting to learn to play.
Of course he’s made boats named for Kelly and Shannon, but his newest project is adorned proudly with your name, sprawled across the hull in flowing letters.
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His hobby turns into more than just that, it’s his way to show you how much he loves you, and you soak in everything he’ll give you.
He’ll use his jacket to shield you from the rain
Jethro is usually prepared for anything, but rain can sneak up on you. In that case, he’ll peel his jacket off and cover you as best as he can. Even if it means he’ll get soaked to the bone, he’ll make sure you’re covered a least a little bit more than he is.
He tones down his crazy driving for you
The first time you got in the car with him, you about passed out from an anxiety attack. You don’t want to be a backseat driver, so you just grin and bear it for a while, but he picks up on your discomfort pretty quickly.
He slows down, starts using his turn signal, and stops cutting people off, but every now and then, when it’s late and the roads are empty, he’ll take you for a high-speed cruise just to get your blood pumping.
He’s much touchier than you ever imagined
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A strong hand on the small of your back, fingers ghosting over your exposed thigh, a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder when you’re uneasy, or just brushing against you to pass, even when there is plenty of room to spare.
Anything he can do to have his hands on you, he’ll do. You two are like a safety tether for each other, always there to make sure you don’t drift too far away.
As far as PDA goes, Jethro is pretty limited in what he’s willing to show the world, but he’ll always find a discreet way to connect himself to you. A brief brush of your pinkies, a quick kiss to your forehead, or a full-on embrace if you find a moment alone. Whatever it is, his touch still sets you on fire every time.
He is so gentle and fatherly to children
The two of you decided early on that you would avoid having kids. Given his past, you understand and agree to the arrangement. When you get together with your young nieces and nephews, though, Jethro turns into a total kid right along with them.
He’s quick to join in a game of cops and robbers, always quipping how it’s so much more fun being the bad guy, or plop down in the grass and find pictures in the clouds.
When someone takes a tumble or scrapes up their knee, though, he’s the first to scoop them up in his strong arms and hug the pain away. He’ll make them feel better with a story about when he hurt his knee, too, or how chicks dig scars (you always smack him playfully for that).
He makes a mean cup of coffee
You’d never thought of yourself as much of a coffee snob, but after tasting Jethro’s version, brewed slowly over the fire if time allows and mixed with the perfect amount of cream and sugar, you could never go back to any coffee shop again.
Same goes for his cooking. He doesn’t make much, but when he does, damn it is good.
“The secret ingredient is love,” he’ll joke to you, mocking your own phrase, and you’ll roll your eyes as the flavors envelop your tastebuds.
All in all, our man Jethro is basically the best partner you could ever ask for, and you love showing him how much you appreciate him.
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Tagging some of my LJG lovers 💕
@instantnoooodles @daphne-bourne @museofbooks @ilovemark1951 it won’t let me tag you :( @yestwlightfan
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earthstellar · 4 months
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Just thinking about how close Miko came to getting killed in TFP "Con Job"
But not the scene where Fake Wheeljack grabs her;
I'm talking about the scene where she's in a hallway deep in the base, alone with Fake Wheeljack
He asks for where something is, and her response is a deadpan "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to crush your spark" or something along those lines.
Fake Wheeljack isn't familiar with humans. He can't be 100% sure if that's a real threat or not. Sure, she's tiny and squishy, but what are humans capable of?
Fake Wheeljack has her alone, away from the others at least far enough that it might take a little time for them to respond to any screams.
He doesn't move to attack, because he doesn't want to blow his cover unless it's unavoidably necessary, and because if humans really can put up a fight, he wants her to take the first swing to see what she's got.
She may not register as that much of a realistic threat, but she did technically threaten him, and Decepticons (with the exception of Knock Out, via movie night) have little exposure to humanity. He may not understand human sarcasm.
And after all, scraplets are tiny little things, yet look at all the damage they cause. I think Fake Wheeljack is sizing up Miko, just for a moment here. Just waiting to see if she might try to act on that threat.
Miko breaks the tension with a quick "just kidding", but for a moment there, there is a real fear that he might just decide to snuff Miko out while he has a good, clear chance to do so.
Of course, Miko doesn't know how close she came to being killed.
She didn't know she was speaking to a Decepticon.
Sure, she likely realised after Fake Wheeljack was exposed as an imposter just how dangerous an encounter it was, but in the moment...
... It's a very adult fear, being evoked here.
It's a child speaking to an adult who is someone other than who they say they are, with hidden motives, while alone in a secluded space with relatively few places to run to. She trusts him, because she thinks she is a friend of her protector, an adult she already trusts. And her protector likes this guy, so why wouldn't she?
Miko thinks she's playing around with a cool tough guy buddy, but in reality, she is extraordinarily lucky that he did not take the very easy shot that he had to take her out away from the eyes of the others.
Later, he does directly threaten her life.
But I think Miko was arguably closer to death in this scene rather than when she was grabbed and held hostage; A hostage is protection. Fake Wheeljack likely wasn't actually going to kill her then, because there would be nothing stopping the Autobots from opening fire on him if he lost his hostage.
But in this earlier scene, nobody was watching. He could have killed her, walked out and claimed she was running around deeper in the base, pretending to be on a "mission", because that behaviour is in line with how he's seen Miko behave since his arrival. He knows she's a bit more energetic than the others, she's more into "being tough and cool", it's something she would plausibly do.
Fake Wheeljack would return, the Autobots wouldn't be overly surprised to hear Miko got distracted by her imagination while messing around in the base, and they'd give it just enough time before going to actively look for her that the ground bridge would be back online and Fake Wheeljack could make it back to the Nemesis -- Leaving the Autobots to find her body after he was already gone.
This would also potentially frame the real Wheeljack for her death, if Fake Wheeljack's cover wasn't blown before departing, in this scenario.
Really dark shit.
I haven't seen this episode in a while, but it popped into my head and felt like it was worth talking about, because TFP does a great job of utilising adult fears in a way that isn't blatant enough to upset younger audiences, while also registering the real depth of the potential threat to older audiences who will recognise things like this.
Anyway, glad Miko survived, because holy shit this could have been grim.
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frickingnerd · 6 months
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dating fuyuhiko kuzuryu
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pairing: fuyuhiko kuzuryu x gn!reader
tags: protective fuyuhiko, fluff, being friends with peko, mentions of the yakuza
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fuyuhiko likes to act tough and pretend like he could have any girl he wants
but you're actually his first partner, even if fuyuhiko will never admit it
though since you're dating him, you're close friends with peko as well and she lets it slip to you that you're his first love!
speaking of peko, she's your biggest supporter! she has been encouraging fuyuhiko to ask you out for months before he finally build up the courage to do it
the two of them are very close, but there is no reason for you to be jealous! 
fuyuhiko on the other hand gets jealous rather quickly
he doesn't like to show it and he of course wouldn't admit it, but he always keeps an arm around you when he's out with you
and he also makes peko keep any creeps away from you! 
aside from that, he makes peko protect you as well
he tries to protect you himself whenever he can, but he can't always keep an eye on you, so for the rare occasion that he isn't able to protect you, peko will step in! 
fuyuhiko worries that since you're dating him, he's putting you in too much danger
after all, he's a yakuza, while you're just a commoner. you're not used to the brutal life he's lived and you might not be able to handle all the pain this life brings with it
fuyuhiko is trying to keep you out of the public as much as he can! he doesn't want anyone to know he's dating you, nor does he want them to know your face
his top priority is to keep you safe!
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jojossillywalk · 6 months
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wow. SO. here are some language distinctions that can be a little mixed in translation!
disclaimer that actual talking is very very different from the vocal performance that shows up in anime.
first and foremost, english (the dub more than sub) can sometimes miss the fact that there is a very distinct difference in how avdol and polnareff speak!
it's no joke when i say that polnareff has a "bro-y" way of speaking. he uses "俺" (ore) which is very informal, can be considered rude, and is conventionally considered to be masculine. he speaks a lot more casually/informally in general, he and jotaro are sort of even (polnareff just talks more).
also polnareff's speech is generally just much more rude than either the dub or sub really convey. this man is crass.
avdol uses "私" (watashi), which is used in formal settings, it's also like a polite default- that said, he's distinct in using that pronoun among the crusaders! among close friends (for guys), it's like. got a stiff/stuffy vibe. casually, it's got feminine connotations, but by and large it's formal (kakyoin uses "僕" (boku), which is just a Younger Guy way to identify yourself)
when jotaro is talking about how avdol seems like he "thinks highly of himself" (the phrase jotaro uses is straightforward telling someone that they come off as arrogant), avdol's speech lends to the image of him seeming smugly intelligent.
the one time that we hear him use "ore," he adds "kono" before it- there's really no good way to translate that in english, it's like "i, myself, etc etc."
this is not the only time avdol puts "kono." this actually lends more weight to jotaro saying that avdol comes off as self important. "kono [insert personal pronoun/name]" has an implication of distinction- "me (and explicitly only me)." so "a stand i, avdol, have not heard of."
when avdol says "i've heard of [this stand]," he often uses "噂" (uwasa). however, he uses "見かけた" to describe his experiences with the illness- ie, he's seen people with the stand sickness, but more often than not, he's heard of the assassins (devo being an exception).
when he's stopping polnareff, the sub says something like "you're getting wool to come back shorn"/"tough talk for a man digging his own grave," both are localizations! his direct phrasing is more like "this one's going to steal mummies when he'll become one."
another note is that avdol uses formal pronouns to refer to himself, but the pronouns he uses to refer to others are less formal (joseph being an exception). he speaks formally, but like someone with seniority!
this is because, in this situation, he's literally someone with seniority.
that said, polnareff is a) very vocally independent, b) has an ego taking up 5/6 of the known universe, but more importantly, the comment that makes avdol try to punch him isn't "holier than thou," it's "go keep pretending to be more of an adult/above it all like always."
there's already jotaro's comment about avdol coming off as arrogant, but polnareff is accusing avdol of putting up a front/acting like someone he's not (the verb is "otonabutte").
there are more but here's some for now
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r0b1ns · 1 year
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ALICE IN BORDERLAND - HOLDING HANDS IN PUBLIC
X MALE READER
Characters: Arisu, Usagi, Kuina, Chishiya, Ann, Karube, Aguni, Takeru/Hatter, Last Boss, Banda, Kyuma, Yaba
CW: a few curse words
WORD COUNT: 600+
Note: the last ep fucked me up but this season was a masterpiece (also reached the media limit so no gifs for Banda and butt guy)
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
ARISU
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The first time you held his hand he was shocked
Literally repeatedly said in his head to not panic
Blushes a little but tries to hide it
He was in the middle of a sentence when your hands connected and he was so surprised he forgot what he was saying
Will try to get back to it, fail, and start some random conversation like how nice the weather is today
USAGI
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She pretends nothing happened
Slightly smiles and carries on with the conversation
But her mood will definitely increase
After a few times she starts initiating it herself and holds your hand every time
KUINA
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At first she's confused, looking down at your hands
But than she will smile, putting her other hand on yours
It makes her more comfortable with touching
She'll suddenly start clinging to you more and holding your hand at any given moment
It just kinda gives her reassurance
CHISHIYA
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He'll raise his eyebrows looking at your hands, just barley smiling and continuing whatever he was doing
It makes his heart flatter but he doesn't have a outward reaction
Literally doesn't give a fuck if someone stares at you
You're holding hands and there's nothing they can do about it
ANN
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Gives you a stern look
"What are you doing?"
She acts as if she doesn't like it
But she secretly really enjoys it
It'll take time for her to show it though, eventually smirking a little whenever you hold her
KARUBE
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Proud.
He's just proud.
Looks at you with a big smile
Sometimes he likes wrapping his hand around your shoulders
He's so confident and if someone asks if you're dating he'll Immediately straighten up and say yes
When you're sitting with friends he likes taking your hand and holding it close to him with both his hands
AGUNI
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Doesn't show any emotion
But inside he's like "oh shit oh shit he held my hend what do I do omg"
He was never really the type of guy to be gentle or show effaction, at least not after the borderland
So he doesn't really know how to show his appreciation
But he does appreciate and adore you very much
TAKERU/HATTER
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Man, he was handsy even before you started dating
Touching you every moment possible
Wrapping his hand around your shoulders, holding hour hand when just walking, putting his head on your shoulder, anything really
He doesn't care if people think it inappropriate
He likes being able to touch you and be with you
So it doesn't matter where or when you hold hands he's always down, especially after you started dating
LAST BOSS
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"😶😳"
Doesn't have a reaction
Just kinda looks around a little startled
Not because he's not confident in his Identify, but because he presents himself as this tough lonely scary guy who doesn't need anyone, and here you are holding his hand
Also because he's not used to effaction
It sends sparks to his heart
BANDA (murderous emo dude)
He just smirks
Really don't know what to tell you but he's just not bothered by it
It's like, okay, you held his hand, and?
KYUMA (butt guy)
He smirks and pulls you closer to him
Is probably the first one to initiate holding hands, or really any physical contact
He's not shy as we've seen, and definitely doesn't care what others think
He loves you and he wants to show it.
YABA
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He generally doesn't like this kind of pda
He's more of a 'hand around you' type of man
He's possessive, not gentle (or that's what he wants everyone to think)
He's also kinda awkward at first
It's probably the first time he's dating a guy publicly and officially
So it takes him time to get used to it
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!GIFS ARE NOT MINE!
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imdefinitelyfloating · 3 months
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A Perfect Chaos (spencer reid x reader)
Pairing: Spencer x fem! Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
This will switch between Spencer’s POV and Reader’s POV – the first paragraph is Reader, and from there it alternates. I hope it isn’t too difficult to follow along!
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The universe can be funny sometimes. It puts us in places we never expect to be, and sets into motion the new chapter of our lives. And I believe that is exactly what happened when I walked into the BAU bullpen on my first day at my new job, 3 years ago. The only empty desk sat across from a man, with his curly golden locks, his sharp jawline, and the softest eyes; I was sure, this was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. I don’t know if I believe in love at first sight, but that’s the only way I can describe what I felt at that very fateful moment.
My whole life, I’ve been trying to narrow down all the things around me to an exact science. But when she walked in that day, I felt something I had never experienced before. I was… speechless. The way her hair flowed, the way her eyes sparkled, the way her skin shone despite the harsh lighting of the BAU bullpen; I’m sure, this was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes upon. There’s an old Buddhist saying that, when you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to each other. I don’t know if I believe in soulmates, but that’s the only way I can describe what she would become to me.
Spencer and I became fast friends after I joined the BAU. I don’t know if it was intentional or just a simple coincidence, but Hotch always paired us together on cases, we sat opposite each other every day, and even rode all the same trains on the Metro. It’s safe to say we were quickly becoming the best of friends; we’d have Doctor Who marathons at his place, and have sleepovers at mine. Platonic, of course. There is no doubt in my mind that this is who I love, and this is who want to spend the rest of my life with. But I know he’ll never feel the same way, not for me.
Y/n became a place of comfort for me after tough cases, and she’d always be the one to pull me out and lift me up. She was my best friend, and I loved her, in more ways than she could even understand. I still remember the first time we sat together on the jet. It was a long case, and everyone was worn out. I felt the warmth radiating from her as she rested her head on my shoulder. I’m not the best with touch, but with her I didn’t mind. With her, I wish I could stay like that for all eternity. But I know she’ll never feel the same way, not for me.
Sitting opposite the man everyday, I quickly realised how much Spence loved his coffee (or in his case, sugar with a hint of coffee!) It soon became a tradition for us to bring coffee for each other every morning, and to go down to the little coffee shop a few blocks away on our shared breaks. As we’d walk, he would ramble on about Star Trek, and I’d counter back with my love of Star Wars! If there’s anyone who was going to challenge one of my favourite movie series, I’m glad it was him.
Valentine’s Day was always tough for me. To be honest, I was never really bothered by it until I met Y/n. Seeing her almost every day, but not being able to hold her, not being able to tell her how I really felt, it killed me inside. Every year, I thought this time I’m going to tell her. But when I would open my mouth to speak, it was like I’d forget how to talk, how to breathe. Now, three years later, I’m still just as speechless as I was when I had first met her.
February 14th – a day of love. It was meant to be a beautiful day, but for me it was just another day gone by when I hadn’t confessed my feelings to the man I so desperately wanted to hold, and to love. Still, me and Spence both went for our daily coffee break, both pretending to ignore the clearly obvious tension between us. We both had a lot of paperwork to get through, so we ordered our drinks to go. February in DC is unpredictable to say the least; the sun was finally shining through as we stepped into the small café, but as we stepped out, I felt the rain brush upon my face as I looked up to see clouds looming above us once again. And of course, just my luck, I don’t have my umbrella!
I must have forgotten my umbrella at my desk. The rain is really coming down now, so Y/n and I decide to take a shortcut through the park. We’re practically running now, and well, I’m not the most athletic of individuals. I stop at a bench, with Y/n coming back to hopelessly get me back up. She quickly gives in, sitting down on the small, wooden bench with me. The two of us sit in silence as I struggle to catch my breath in the cold Virginia air. But just as I felt my breath coming down to a more normal pace, I heard Y/n ask me the question I had been hoping she would never ask.
“So, Reid, who’s your Valentine’s?”
It had become something she’d ask me each year, always pestering me to go on dates or trying to set me up with one of her friends. But all I wanted to say was “I wish it was you.” It amazed me, a profiler, and she is still oblivious to how I really feel about her. Instead, I just brush her question off and ask her one instead.
“Who’s yours, Y/n?”
It’s now or never. If I don’t tell him now, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. He has to know.
“I wish you were my Valentine.”
Is this real? Did she really just say that? No, she must be joking. She could never love someone like me. I’ll just laugh it off. Why isn’t she saying anything? And that’s when I saw it. I looked in her eyes. She’s serious? This is happening? Oh, this is happening. It’s now or never, she has to know. And with that, I pressed my lips to hers, and we stayed like that. The rain was pouring, the wind was howling. People were shouting “Get a room!” But we didn’t care. You always hear it in children’s fairytales, that when you truly love someone nothing else matters, the whole world stops except for you. I had never believed it until now, but Y/n is my fairytale come true.
As our lips parted from one another, we rested our foreheads together. Magic really does exist, because Spencer Reid is my magic.
Eventually, Y/n and I made it back to work. We were so ready for a trademark Hotch glare, coming back so long after our break had finished. But all we heard was Rossi, “Finally, thank God they admitted it!” I was about to speak, but Y/n read my mind and beat me to it:
“How did you- HOW?!”
Everyone erupted into a fit of laughter, Emily and JJ making pointing fingers and teasing as Garcia literally suffocated me in a classic Penelope hug. And then there’s Morgan patting Spencer a little too enthusiastically on the back, “Pretty Boy, my man!” Even Hotch gave a rare smile as he and Rossi observed the scene. It was a perfect chaos, and in the middle of it all stood Spencer and I, my soulmate and I.
Thank you for reading! 🥰💗
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pablitogavii · 8 months
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Omg can we get gavi and reader watching the Barca new era documentary together!!! It would be so cute I feel like gavi would be so humble and flustered 🥹
Movie Night
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"Do we have to amooor???" Pablo was whining while you were making some popcorn in the kitchen very much excited to watch the four new episodes of Barça Documentary.
"Yes, we do cariño! I can't wait to see it!" you say jumping on th couch with a bowl of popcorn in your lap and he pouted that you didn't sit on his lap and let him cuddle you. Pablo isn't much of a talker so he would never ask but you knew his love language is definitely physical touch.
"Do you want something cariño??" you tease him seeing his blushed cheeks as he looked away pretending to look at his phone but you saw right through his little tough act. He wanted to be cuddled and was too proud to admit it like always.
You chuckle leaning in and kissing his pouting lips before putting the bowl to the side and straddling his lap seeing the smile shine on his face.
"Did I guess right huh??" you ask feeling his hands let go off the phone immediately and go around you.
"Mhm.." was all he answered pulling you closer and smelling your hair before leaving sweet kisses on your shoulder and neck.
"You're such a cuddle bug Pablito" you giggle feeling his strong arms wrap around your body holding you tightly.
"Hm.." Pablo groaned wanting to move his kisses lower but you pulled back shaking your head and grabbing the remote from the table starting the first episode.
"Good try!" you smirk starting the first episode and he groaned laying his head on top of yours as you nuzzled your nose into his neck.
You were very much focused on the screen listening to everything while Pablo was braiding your hair, leaving kisses on your shoulder and a few pecks on your lips.
"Your little giggle is adorable Pablito" you say making Pablo flustered which was also one of the most adorable things to witness. Not many people can get him adorably shy like this and you were proud of be one of them.
"This is why I didn't want to watch it!!" he whines pretending to hate whenever you baby him but you both knew he was a big baby at heart. You moved off his lap since he wanted to lay on your chest and have you play with his hair as you played the next episode.
"I really love you in gold kit amor..so handsome" you say and he smirked looking up at meeting your eyes as you both smiled.
"I thought purple was your favorite one loquita?? I always dress you up in that one when we have our 'playtime'.." he smirked and you rolled your eyes knowing that one is definitely one of your main weaknesses. Now you were the flustered one and he was very much proud of himself!
"Sush amor! I wanna hear the interview!" you turn the volume up seeing Pablo speaking on the screen wanting to pay attention to every word feeling very proud of him in this moment.
"The kinds of accidents you had during these seasons were truly chilling. How does your family react to them? They surely get worried?" question asked
"When I'm on the pitch, I don't think about anything but the game. My family does get scared and so do I when I re-watch it but most of all, it's my girl that takes it extremely hard" he said and you were curious now to hear more blushing that he called you "mi nena" in front of everyone.
"She worries a lot about you?" question came and Pablo was smiling brightly into the camera.
"Yeah, she does. I hate to see her cry whenever I get injured but that's part of my job. She always begs me to be more careful and I try to play so sharp for her but sometimes there is no alternative you know..." Pablo answered and you smiled looking down and pecking his lips.
"Is it hard delegating between a relationship and professional athletic career?" was another question.
"I thought it would be which is why for awhile I was single but with her everything feels right. She's my biggest support system and I am so grateful for having found her." Pablo finished and you felt your eyes fill with tears as your heart melted. You didn't expect him to speak about you let alone in such a deep and sweet way knowing how shy he gets in front of camera.
"Aww preciosa..don't cry" he said getting up from your lap and holding your face while kissing away your tears as you hands went behind his neck playing with his hair while kissing his lips lovingly.
"I love you so much cariño!" you say and Pablo smiled into the kiss nodding his head and kissing your forehead before pulling you into a tight hug.
"I love you too mi nena..even when you make me watch myself on TV" he smirked after the last part and you both giggled before kissing each other passionately. For the rest of the night you binge watched the new season while cuddling on the couch and enjoying each other's company.
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trinity0finite · 7 months
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Kiss Me - Pham Hanni
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Pham Hanni X GN!Reader
Desc- You don't like Jay, but you like love his girlfriend
tags- highschool au, non!idol au, ft. jake from enha, jay from enha, jungwon from enha, hyein from nwjns
Warnings: underage drinking (drink milo instead), mention of smoking (dont smoke yall), some illegal shi, Yn is the second biggest hanni's simp (im first), cheating but he had it coming. I do not condone cheating or whateva 🙏
note- A lil snth while i wait for my brain to work i love jay boo sm he's my patootie but hanni is my pookie whle writing ths. as you can see, i continued writing on different days, took me a whole week to actually get this done. writing got better at one point of this one.
The school 'It couple' was standing at the corner of the party. Jay, the school's star player and quarterback. Hanni, the Stuco president. A match made in heaven was what everybody says and thoughts. Jay and his romantic antics wins Hanni over, the perfect girl who only hang out within her friends group.
Which you don't find romantic at all, if giving the girl flowers that wasn't her favorite but his instead, If taking the girl to expensive restaurants when she prefer quiet, peaceful places was romantic for you then pop off.
She's just your little cousin's friend, and Hyein would always talk your ears off about her, thats how you know, not because you were observing her of course. That would be, creepy.
The seemingly perfect couple was seen to be having an unusual couple quarrel. In public, house full of Hanjay's fans.
A smirk drifted onto your face, hand in your jacket pocket and another holding a soju bottle, you can't help but to watch in amusement.
Your face broke into a smile when you saw Hanni suddenly pushing past Jay, on her way to the entrance of one of your friend's house.
"Yn!" The said friend came out of nowhere placing his arm over your shoulder making you snap back into reality, back to the annoying party thrown by a rich highschool kid, that being Jake.
"Finish this for me will ya? Imma go out to have a smoke." You grinned at the blonde, pushing the bottle against his chest not giving him time to respond and make your way towards the entrance.
You frowned when you lost sight of the girl who pique your interest (you had been crushing on her since 9 grade). You take a few step, peeking here and there, trying to sight the girl. Squinting your eyes when you see a shadow a few feet from Jake's house.
"Fucking shit I swear if thats slenderman." You said aloud, tiptoeing to see better. A giggle came from the shadow makes you lose your cool.
Just because you act all tough doesn't mean you're not scare of creepypasta that Hyein used to scared you.
"Aye what the fuck?" You whispered, squinting trying to get a closer look.
"What are you doing here?" The shadow asked, it fake deepening voice.
"Uh, trying to find a child, about 5'2 she had long hair and bangs, have you seen her?" You restored, head tilted.
"Asshole! I'm 5'4!" Hanni broke her facade and marge at the taller, a cute unintentional pout on her face.
A smile broke onto your face upon seeing the girl that has been occupying your mind, living for free these days.
"Pews, I thought you had gotten kidnapped." You pretended to wipe your sweats on the side of your head making the shorter smack your arm.
You laughed, placing both of your arms back inside your jacket pocket, enjoying the annoyed look on the stuco's president face that soon turned into a smile.
Your breath hitched, seeing the way her cheeks pop up adorably makes you want to kiss her every time you spot it.
"What are you doing out here?" You asked, trying to be casual acting as if you weren't being noisy earlier at the party before grimace seeing the Pham trying to warm herself by rubbing her own arms. "and in the cold too?" You took off your jacket before throwing it at Hanni in the face for her to put it on.
"So romantic.." Hanni side eyed you before aggressively puts your jacket on not even offering it back like in those films.
You frowned, weren't she supposed to say something like, aren't you gonna be cold or something like that? You were right, those romantic films you had to endure for Jungwon were all wrong.
You got lost in your thought, not noticing the glares and side eye from Hanni, who had been hit in the face by your denim jacket.
"And.. i'm out in the damn cold because Jay refused to take me home.. saying he's having too much fun and that I need to take a stick out of my ass and let loose a little."
"Oh damn." You breathed out, god you don't like Jay at all, the perfect image, and he acts like a king doing whatever the hell he wants except when he's around you, he was tamed. He got ahold of this amazing girl and couldn't take care of her, what a prick. "Let's go on a walk."
The silent filled the comforting night, your legs carried you slowly, hands in your pant pocket trying to act cool as if you weren't bothered by the cold. You look at the girl whose head was tilted up preoccupied by the pretty constellations, and you thought, her eyes was as bright.
"Yn?" She softly called out, eyes still stuck on the beauty of the night.
"Hm?" You replied back as soft, eyes stuck on that beauty of hers.
The way she would try her best to act pissed whenever you teased her, the way her cheeks puffed out when she would pout, the way her voice would calm you down, the way she would side eyes you and look at you in disgust, you don't even mind, you treasured anything that was given to you if it was her.
"Yn? Are you okay?" She suddenly asked worriedly snapping you out of your thoughts.
You didn't reply, you stare at her dumbly, you couldn't hear or see shit other than the loud beating of your heart and the girl in front of you, you feel weak in the knees and your stomach . You don't know if it her or the ramen you've been consuming lately.
"Hanni.." You breathed out.
Hanni was slightly taken back at the way you intensely stares at her, she doesn't know wether to be scare or scare. She was lowkey scared. But the soft glint in your eyes quickly calmed her down, so does that soft deep tone of yours that reserved for her only, although she didn't know that.
She had always feel safe and comforted whenever you're around, the way you would put all your attention on her even when you're with your friends. The way you don't care about other people opinions on you, act as you want, and not cares what they would say, you didn't care, you were free. Hanni liked that about you, because she also felt free when she's with you.
Now thinking about it, Jay would pushes her aside and put his full attention on his friends, and he would walk her to class, and asking her on dates and never had a real conversation, he'd just take pictures and post them. Hanni was a trophy for Jay.
"Yeah?" She replied back, a soft frown on her face.
"Can I kiss you?"
She had been feeling things that she shouldn't feel for you for awhile, she would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't tempted, but she had a boyfriend.
"Yn..? You.. you know we can't." Hanni shook her head,
"I know you have a boyfriend and all but, I like you. I've always liked you, even way before you start dating that pretentious guy.. Fuck, I shouldn't have dump all of this on you." She felt a pang in her chest at the way you look down, your hand held your forehead, blaming yourself. "You.. ugh, you make me feel ways i've never even feel with my talking stages. And I know this is probably too late, and I should've kept this too myself-"
"Yn, are you drunk?" She asked, interrupting your rant, her hand went to cupped your cheeks to make you look directly down at her, and checking your cheeks for any tint of red.
"Huh? N-No." You babblers out, caught off guard.
"Kiss me."
Your eyes widened, air paused in your lung waiting for you to let them out, you scan her face to see if she was playing with you but you could see none on her face.
Seeing you taking too long Hanni pulls you by your sweater, making you launched forward, your lips meet hers, snapping out of shock, you slowly closed your eyes enjoying the way her soft plump lips move against yours, moving together like a puzzle and slowly but surely, you were addicted. You would give everything up just to feel her soft skin again. Her hands went to held yours, fingers intertwine. And when she went to pull away you chases after her, eyes stuck on her lips.
"Calm down." Hanni giggled breathlessly, trying to regain those oxygen you just took from her, her jaw almost dropped when she saw how dazed you looked.
When you saw the way Hanni is flushed red, trying to regain control of her breath, a small smirk grew on your face feeling satisfied and she just want to punch it off your face, or better yet, kiss it off.
"You better dump him, or Im dumping his body-"
"Oh my god!"
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-> Bonus
Hanni: "Yn, you aren't drunk why are your cheeks so red?"
Yn standing next to her stupidly with tomatoes cheeks: "We just kissed!"
Hanni cackle: "You like to act all cool and tough but you're just a simp!"
Hanni went to peck her cheeks: "My Simp."
Yn holding her cheeks trying to hide from short Han: "SHUSH!"
#I'lltakejay #neverletyourpartnerstopyoufromfindingtheloveofyourlife
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