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thedvilsinthedetails · 3 months

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Rosekiller band au microfic!!!

hey guys, I wrote the first microfic in the lil series I’m doing, you can find the original idea for it here

ik I’d said I’d wait but I’m impatient hahaha

(some of the ppl that asked to be tagged if i ever wrote it: @always-reading @blu3stars @chaoticgaywitch @1284646imjusthere @depressedtheatrekiddo @idk-what-to-put-here-123)

anyway just wrote this pretty quickly so it might have some mistakes n stuff sorry abt that I don’t do grammar or punctuation anyway here you go, enjoy:

(EDIT: link to part 2)

••• Pink lipstick stains, cigarette butts

I lie in bed, I hate my guts

A day in the dark

A muddled afternoon, yeah

Barty pressed his cheek close to Evan as they sang into the same microphone. He could feel the buzz of the music through the vibration of the stage below him.

Oh baby darling how I long

To become your suicide blonde

He ran a hand through Evan’s platinum curls as he sung the line. Evan leaned into it, eyes meeting Barty’s, grinning as he sung.

To lie beside my Romeo

Oh what a wicked way to go

Evan’s fingers moved deftly on the guitar, he lifted a hand, twirled the pick in his hand before resuming immediately, he didn’t take his eyes off Barty the entire song.

•••

“Ah fucking hell look at the comments Bee.”

Evan was sat at the base of the sofa, scrolling through the comments on a video of their performance last night. He held the phone up to Barty on the sofa, who squinted before taking it and reading it out to the room.

“Skittlefiend57 says ‘omg Blarty and Evan! I’m so gone 4 them u guys’”

“Blarty?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“We’ve been getting my name wrong all these years guys. Wow that’s a crazy thing to discover at 23.”

“Bad spelling aside, there’s way more. And it’s not all good stuff.”

Evan said and Barty looked back down at the comments.

“Barty and Evan are queerbaiting, they act so gay but they’re not dating. It’s all clearly faked to get attention. Fucking pathetic. Why thank you peenisonapizza. Glad to see you know us personally and can therefore speak on our behalf.”

“Don’t know why they’re obsessed with accusing a band with two trans guys of queer baiting.”

Evan pinched his furrowed brow and shook his head in disbelief.

“They don’t even care about the fucking music, just us and whether we’re dating or not.”

Barty laid down on the sofa, dropping one arm around Evan and resting his chin on Evan’s shoulder.

“Hey cheer up Rosie. They care about the music. There’s a few assholes but that’s a given. If they weren’t talking about us acting gay they’d be talking about whether my tattoos are real or fake.”

“Or some conspiracy theory that Reggie’s not actually lactose intolerant.”

Pandora chipped in.

“I’m not lactose intolerant!”

Regulus replied indignantly.

“Is that you talking or your obsession with chocolate?”

Dorcas rolled her eyes as she spoke. Regulus avoided her gaze as he mumbled out a half hearted response.

“Remus got me hooked on Tony’s chocolonely.”

While the rest of the group squabbled Evan leaned his head back against Barty’s shoulder, he pulled out his phone.

***

Evan.Rosier✔️

Hey everyone, I’ve noticed there’s a lot of speculation about me and @Barty.Grouch.JR and I wanted to say that it’s none of your business, you can think what you like but please don’t ask us or spam comment sections with theories. As always thank u so much for listening to our music, the skittles luv u x

***

Evan breathed in and passed the phone to Barty.

“You think this is good?”

Barty read it over and nodded.

“You’ve been really nice about it too.”

Evan huffed out a laugh.

“I was normal about, not my fault you would have said something like-“

“Roses are red, violets are blue, you are a cunt and I hate you @peenisonapizza.”

Barty took a small bow, flourishing his hand dramatically. Evan turned around and flicked him in the leg, which only succeeded in making him laugh.

“Ok I’ve posted it.”

Evan clicked post and watched as the ‘likes’ number quickly began to climb.

“Now I’m just not gonna read the comments on that post.”

Evan huffed out a laugh and Barty patted his shoulder.

“Good on you Rosie. Now who wants to watch a movie?”

Evan clambered onto the sofa next to Barty who leaned against him immediately, head resting on his shoulder.

“Rosie.”

Barty whispered.

“Yeah Bee?”

“Give me your phone. Look we both know it will bother you all evening not reading those comments if you have your phone on you. Just- out of sight out of mind, I’ll give it back to you once the movie is over but you deserve to have an evening off.”

Barty’s eyes were wide, expression genuine as he spoke. Evan hesitated then reached in his pocket for his phone.

“Don’t spam it with photos alright?”

A smirk spread on Barty’s face quickly, eyes sparkling.

“I make no promises Ev.”

Evan rolled his eyes but handed the phone over.

The movie was something Pandora had picked, something from the late 80s, a strange mix of fantasy, reality and meta theatre that Evan actually didn’t hate.

Still he drifted to sleep at some point watching it, the stress of the day had clearly gotten to him and something about the way the top of Barty’s head made for a great pillow probably didn’t help.

Either way he woke up to the feeling of Barty shaking him.

“Come on sleeping beauty, let’s get you to a real bed. Here’s your phone back.”

Evan rubbed his eyes and got up, stumbling to his room as thanked Barty in a half asleep murmur.

He got to his room and turned on his phone, wincing at the glaring brightness, turning it down quickly. He opened his photos app, just as he’d suspected his camera roll was filled with new photos.

He began to scroll through them. There was one of his friends, all waving at the camera. A zoomed in shot of Inigo Montoya‘s face on the TV screen from a funny angle. Himself, looking dumb, sleeping with his mouth slightly open. He scrolled to the next picture and stopped. Barty with that cheeky grin of his, curled up against Evan, flipping off the camera. Eyes twinkling in that way that always made Evan feel a little warmer, a little brighter. He fell asleep again dreaming of a body pressed against his in a hug, the hum of a movie no longer playing, soft hair tickling his face and mischief painted in big brown eyes.

For info about the position they’re sat in (it’s clear in my mind but I’m not sure how clear it is in the description), the song that they are playing and the movie they watch, look below the read more:

Position they are in before Evan gets on the sofa, red is Evan, green is Barty - yes Barty is uncomfortable, yes he would sit like that anyway bc Barty will do fucking contortion to be able to hug Evan argue with a wall

Don’t question the drawing skills, I can’t draw and did it in a moving vehicle

the song is EVOL by MARINA

the movie is the princess bride suggested by the lovely @lulublack90 who u shld defo check out bc she’s rlly amazing at writing

(Oh also Evan and Reggie are both trans in this)

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treeba-rk · 8 months

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treebark shippers in 2021:

wow renchanting was crazy. hahaha what if i started shipping them as a joke. why simp for the middle when you can simp for the top. hand in hand gayass. it’s a joke guys, it’s a joke. well guess what hahaha FUCK it’s no longer a joke. what’s happening to me—

treebark shippers in 2022:

GAY DEVOTION!! GAY MARRIAGE! THEY ARE IN LOVE REAL AND TRUE!! SPREAD THE TREEBARK! JOIN US!! DOUBLE LIFE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB hi what. did martyn just acknowledge treebark. wh

treebark shippers in 2023:

[screaming and wailing on the ground] ohhhhhhh my god i miss them UNGUIDED HAND?? LIMITED LIFE?? GAYASS DRABBLE?? MARTYN?? REN!??? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM. i’m going crazy in this economy

#treebark #trafficshipping #2021 treebarkers were so funny #all of us going 👀at each other

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razorblade180 · 1 year

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Veronica: hangs out with Nick plenty

Veronica: starts hanging with Summer a few times

xxxxx

Reporter: Locals spot Atlas’s teen idol spending time with “just a friend?” The full scoop at eleven!

Summer:*turns of tv*….*looks left*

Veronica:*leaning on Nick* Wow, you didn’t tell me you were gay.

Nick:Congratulations.

Summer:I don’t know who, but someone is getting fired. I swear Nick could start a war and nobody will notice! I miss a shot into the trash can and I hate the planet. I literally hangout with Val all the time!

Veronica:Drama follows me.

Summer:How does this not bother you.

Veronica:I mean us together is a lie but I can’t really beat the other implications considering I’m Pan.

Summer:Pan? Like a skillet?

Nick: fucking dies

Veronica:….

Yang, in the distance: HAHAHA HAAAA! OH MY GOD!

Summer:What? *red* What’d I say?

Veronica:I am so tired now…

Summer:What’d I say!?

#rwby #rwbabies #veronica belladonna #summer schnee #nicholas schnee #yang xiao long

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hollybee8917 · 1 month

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Lighting the Flame Above

Characters: Clint Barton, Steve Rogers

Plot: Steve and Clint have their first date. Things don’t go as planned.

Warnings: Time period homophobia (40s)

Clint walked into the common room of Avengers tower and collapsed on the couch, “My god. Why do I even try?”

“You got something to share with the class, Barton?”

The blonde straightened up and looked to his right. There sat Steve Rogers looking down at a book. He scoffed, “It’s not something you would understand Cap.”

Steve closed his book, “Try me.”

Tilting his head back, Clint replied, “You haven’t tried dating recently, have you?”

A sigh escaped Steve’s lips, “Yeah but I can’t seem to find the right person.”

“What kind of girl are you looking for?” Clint asked his team leader.

Rogers leaned back, “You sure you want to know the answer to that?”

Clint scoffed, “I dunno. All I know is that there is not a single guy in this city who does not either drink iced coffee and wear fleece scarves or says ‘yaas’ and go on and on about twerking. The word is yes. I went on a date last night with a guy named Ethan and he rambled endlessly about something called Vine.”

Steve’s eyes widened, “Clint, are-are you gay?”

Clint’s breath hitched, “Is that a problem?”

Reflexively, Steve’s head went back and forth, “No! Not at all. I’m just a bit surprised. I assumed you and Natasha were, well, together.”

Clint let loose a laugh, loud and long, “Me-me and Nat? Hahaha. No. We’re just friends. We are partners on the field and best friends off the field. We’ve never been together romantically.”

A small oh escaped Steve’s mouth. Clint looked away and didn’t say anything else. Steve stood up and made his way over to the couch. He sat down at the other end of the sofa, “Hey Clint?”

“Yeah?”

“Me too.”

Clint raised his head and looked in Steve’s direction, “You too, what?”

Steve’s hand shook a little as he wiped a stray hair from his forehead, “I’m gay.”

“No shit,” Clint exclaimed, “You’re gay? How long have you been out?”

Steve shrugged, “I never really came out of the closet.”

Clint’s eyes widened, “Am I the first person you have come out to?”

The soldier shook his head, “No. My mother and Bucky both knew. Bucky came out to me. I lived my adult life in the ‘30s and ‘40s. Men did not announce their sexuality back then. Neither did women but it was even worse for the men. Not to mention, I was a soldier. If it had leaked that Bucky and I were gay, we would have been given a blue ticket, court-martialed and tossed out of the Army then probably arrested.”

“Bucky? You mean Bucky Barnes?”

Tears formed in the corners of Steve’s eyes, “Yeah… He was my first love and the only one who really understood me and was accepting of my lifestyle because he was the same. We had known each other since we were kids.”

Clint took a breath, “Then he died. I’m sorry man. I always assumed it was you and Peggy Carter. That was the story I heard anyway. She spoke of you so fondly, I assumed that you two were lovers.”

A smile graced Steve’s lips, “Peggy was sweet but she knew that I wasn’t interested in her romantically. She caught us once, me and Bucky. We were in Austria. I thought we would be together forever. Then the train happened.”

“You wanna talk about it? It helps. At least that’s what my therapist says.”

Steve let out a low laugh, “We were sent to capture Arnim Zola. He was the main HYDRA scientist and the one who injected Bucky with a derivation of my serum. We made it onto the train but Bucky and I got separated. I was fighting a guy with a large gun that shot energy blasts and Bucky was stuck with some others. I was able to know the energy blast guy out and get to Bucky. We beat the ones Bucy was fighting but then the energy blast guy came back. The first shot separated me from my shield and Bucky picked it up. Before I could react, the energy blast guy shot a second time. Bucky was blasted out the side of the train. I beat the Hydra guy but I wasn’t—wasn’t fast enough to save Bucky.”

“Wow. I didn’t know that.”

Tears formed in the corners of Steve’s eyes, “He was the best thing I had and the only one who understood me.”

The archer leaned back, “I know the feeling. It’s been hard for me too. I had a Bucky once but his name was Henry Garrett. When I went to the Army then came to SHIELD, he was there. We fell in love pretty quickly.”

Steve scooted closer to Clint, “If it’s okay to ask, what happened?”

Clint met his gaze, “We were on an assignment in Prague. It was supposed to be a simple reconnaissance mission. We had a target that we were supposed to tail, get information about him and get out. All the intel we were gathering was supposed to go to our handler.”

“Phil Coulson?”

Clint shook his head, “I didn’t get assigned to Phil until after this mission went south. Our handler was a man named Byron Fischer. Henry had taken me to a café just south of the Rudolfinum in Prague. What neither of us knew was that it was a setup by someone in SHIELD. Anyway, we were sitting at the café and we were ambushed by the guy’s team that we were tailing. Henry and I tried to run but I ended up getting shot in the arm and chest. Henry took out three of the men but missed the fourth one. He was also shot. Fortunately, he only took a bullet to the leg. The fourth man ran off before we could get him.”

“How did Henry die if he only received a leg wound?”

A tear found its way to the floor, “The guy came back with more men. We tried to escape but we were surrounded. Henry stood over me firing guns at the men around him. He was hit multiple times and landed on top of me. Henry covered me with his body. Our handler never showed up to evacuate us.. Instead, Phil Coulson did. By the time he did though, it was too late for Henry. He told me he loved me and died by my side.”

Steve leaned back and looked away, “I guess you and I are more alike than I realized.”

Clint didn’t respond and a comfortable silence fell over the room. The door to the elevator slid open and Tony walked through it. Steve slid away from Clint and the latter threw his legs up on the couch. Tony being Tony began to talk incessantly and neither man dared casting a glance at each other. After a short time, Clint stood, “I’m going to go train. See you later.”

Steve watched as Clint walked away.

~~~

Come on, Rogers. You can do this. Just ask him. The worst that could happen is that he says no.

Two days had passed since he’d had the conversation with Clint about their respective pasts and Steve couldn’t get Clint’s words out of his head. Steve looked at Clint as he lay by the pool on the recreation level. Taking a breath, he stepped forward toward the archer who had his eyes closed while reclining on a lounge chair.

“I can hear you breathing hard, Cap.”

A sheepish smile crossed the taller blonde’s face, “I forget you have good hearing not just good eyesight.”

Clint opened his eyes, “Wanna talk about what’s on your mind?”

Steve shrugged then rubbed the back of his neck, “I was wondering if you would like to get dinner with me?”

A smile crossed Clint’s lips, “Yeah, sure. I would like that. When?”

“How about tonight? Maybe we could go for a pizza?”

Clint nodded, “That sounds good. Maybe we could go to that place on Broadway and West 40th street? It’s called Joe’s Pizza.”

Steve smiled back at Clint, “How about six o’clock?”

“Sure,” Clint gave a toothy grin, “Maybe we could walk Central Park after?”

Steve’s breath hitched, “That sounds good.”

Clint stood up, “I have to go get ready. I’ll see you at five thirty.”

Steve Rogers sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. None of the shirts were right. Steve sighed again, “Jarvis?”

“Yes, Captain,” came the disembodied voice of Stark’s AI, “what may I help you with?”

Swallowing, Steve replied, “What is common to wear to a first date at a pizza place?”

Jarvis didn’t miss a beat, “Typically, one would wear a nice polo shirt usually a dark color, and either khaki pant or blue jeans.”

The superhero sighed, “I don’t have a solid polo. Is there something else I should wear?”

Above him, the AI responded, “It’s also advisable to wear a solid button down shirt with crisp blue jeans or black jeans.”

“That’s what I’ll do,” Steve replied, “thank you.”

Jarvis responded, “You’re welcome, Captain.”

The elevator door opened and Clint stepped into the common room. He sighed as he looked down at himself. Clint hoped this outfit was okay. As he entered, Steve looked up from the paper he was reading. An audible gasp escaped Steve’s lips, “Clint you look-”

“Too much?”

Steve shook his head, “You look amazing.”

Clint was dressed in a charcoal tee with a tan leather jacket and dark wash blue jeans.

The archer looked his team leader up and down, “You look great too. You ready to go?”

Steve nodded, “Yep.”

Getting back in the elevator, the pair rode it all the way down to the bottom floor. Steve and Clint walked out of the tower together. As they walked, Clint bit his lip, “So, Steve, what do you like to do for fun?”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, “I like to draw. I also like boxing. What about you?”

“I’m a simple man. I like horseback riding, baseball and archery.”

A small hmm slipped from Steve’s lips, “Do you read?”

Clint shook his head, “Not a big reader. I dropped out of school in sixth grade.”

Steve stopped mid step, “Wait, what?”

The shorter blonde shrugged, “I quit when I was in sixth grade and ended up in the circus with my brother. After I left the circus, I joined the Army as a ranger then jumped into SHIELD.”

Tilting his head, Steve asked, “You have a brother?”

“Yeah but I haven’t seen him in twenty years.”

Steve paused in the street, “How long were you in the Army?”

Clint turned and looked at him, “Sixteen years before SHIELD plucked me out of it. I have a particular set of skills and SHIELD wanted to use them.”

Steve started to walk beside Clint again, “Ever had any tours?”

“Yeah, two in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. Got my leg shot up in Kabul and got discharged from the army with a Purple heart. Once I came back, I worked as a gun for hire for a while then I landed on SHIELD’s radar. Fury sent Phil to hire me…”

Tears pricked Clint’s eyes, “Sorry. We’re here.”

Steve looked up to see the sign for Joe’s Pizza above them and pulled the door open. Clint entered first then Steve. They sat down at a table and a server came over, “Welcome to Joe’s. What can I get you tonight?"

Clint looked up, “Let me order, Steve. We’ll get a supreme pizza with black olives and meatballs. And two sodas.”

The waitress nodded and walked away. Before she could make it to the register to put the order in, the room erupted into chaos. Three men burst into the restaurant with guns leveled at everyone inside. Steve threw the table forward while Clint grabbed a knife and flipped it toward the gunman in front. It hit his carotid artery and he hit the floor with a scream. The remaining two men opened fire and people dropped to the floor and crawled toward the back. Steve used the table as a shield and shoved it into the second gunman.

As the third gunman turned his weapon at Steve but was brought down by Clint who dropped him with a kick to the legs. The man turned on Clint with a knife. Clint dodged twice then palmed the guy in the throat. He stumbled back and crashed into a nearby chair. Taking the opportunity, Clint pounced onto the guy and threw some punches against the guy’s face.

Meanwhile, Steve was going hand to hand against his opponent. Without warning, the door opened and another man stepped inside. He threw something inside before Steve could realize it. The supersoldier’s eyes widened when he realized what it was. He yelled over his shoulder, “Clint!”

Clint turned and saw it. A bomb. As if in unison, the two men jumped up, sailed over the bar and prayed that it would protect them.

Steve and Clint sat with their backs against the bar staring at each other and the mess in front of them. Coughing, Clint broke the silence, “So… dinner tomorrow?”

Steve let out a laugh, “Yeah, dinner sounds great.”

#marvel mcu #steve rogers #clint barton #Steve rogers x clint Barton #captain america #hawkeye

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the-not-so-safe-way · 10 months

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Tokyo Revengers characters but as my roommates gc.....

WHEN I SAY PEDO I MEAN HISOKA IF YOU TAKE ONE THING FROM THE WARNINGS IT SHOULD BE THAT

bouns sano family at the end

umm language, mentions of drugs, kissing(ONE TIME), talk about death, jokes about pedophile, depression, feet, and I THINK that is everything so just tell me if I missed something, and I've started to think about posting more so tell me if you want me to write something

the characters will change to see which ones I deem most funny as

———————————————————

Ran:How TF did u do that?

Rindou:wdym that’s just my face

Ran:Gurl

Rindou:are you face shaming me

Ran:Yes, Yes I am 🫶🏼

Rindou: damn that hurts

Ran:wow That must suck SUCK D-

———————————————————

Sanzu: I just offered a kid drugs and they legit said yes like don't they know not to take drugs from strangers also I don't think blood drives like me I have too many drugs in my blood so they don't like me did you know that dolphins can get high just like me

Mikey: Wtf

———————————————————

Ran: yeah he turned you into a cat

Rindou: It was Ran lmao

Ran: nope 🙅‍♂️

Koko: I HATE U WTF Bitch I hate u

Rindou: it wasn’t me 💀

Ran: it was he lies

Rindou: …

Koko: I'm gonna kill u both when I see u

———————————————————

Sanzu: DOES SOMEONE KILL GOJO SATORU

Mikey: death by tractor

———————————————————

Koko: i’m finally home from hell help me i’m at ikea i wanna leave

Ran: don't you dare say that about ikea 😤 I love ikea 😍 bring me meatballs

Sanzu: Oooh I want some meaty balls too

Ran: that’s what he said

Rindou: yeah It is what he said

———————————————————

Ran: im depressed now 😔😔

Mikey: ok join the club

———————————————————

Koko: pick a color

Sanzu: pink or white prolly white one wait when even is the gala

Koko: The gala is in june But this isn't for the gala

Sanzu: oh, the blue ones so pretty too

Koko: PICK ONE

Sanzu : but i love them both

Koko: PICK ONE

Sanzu : uhhh blue

Koko: Okkk thx

Mikey: the black one

Koko: ... There is no black one

———————————————————

••SANZU PULLS AYAKA ON FIRST TRY••

Ran: I HATE U SHES SO GOOD

Sanzu: I was hoping for mika

Rindou: i used 30 wishes for her and i got c3 diona and tighnari

Sanzu: LMAFOOO

Rindou: my friend made me keep fueling my gambling addiction

••Sanzu pulls the other 5 star (I forgot her name)••

Ran:BRO WHAT ARE U ON CRACK

Sanzu: yes always

———————————————————

Koko:i’ve smelled his shoes before

Ran: why

Koko: its free

———————————————————

Rindou: ur outside? at 11

Ran: I went to get groceries I'm almost home tho••5 minutes later•• Dw I didn't get kidnapped

———————————————————

Sanzu: i ate expired yogurt from school lunch today and had to go home early that’s was pretty delicious

Ran: HAHAHA IMAGIIIINE

Rindou: avoid da yogart I thought it was common knowledge about da gurt

———————————————————

Ran: imagine not eating badish tacos while your socks say let's taco about it

Koko: why did u buy that 💀

Ran: I didn't I made it

Koko: what r u watching

Ran: I'm watching the last of us

Koko: it’s so good have u gotten to the gay redneck episode yet

Ran: no I'm on episode 2

Koko: still watching the pedophile 🤨

———————————————————

Ran:hehehehehehe I have major issues 🫤

Rindou: yeah you do

———————————————————

Ran: Guys Help

Mikey: ew no

Ran: Meany

Mikey: I don't care

Ran: WOOOW why u gotta be so mean?

Mikey: because I don't care

Ran: Wow

Mikey: Yeah

Koko: that’s very nice

———————————————————

Mikey: dam that shark

Ran: It's so 😍

Sanzu: hes kinda fine

Ran: He so fine

Sanzu: who let the dogs out

Mikey: put your dogs away

Sanzu: guys what is this a feet pics chat

Mikey: nah it about da gang

Sanzu: 🥵🥵

Ran: Hehehehe

Sanzu: not the pedofile

Mikey: weirdows

Ran: WOOAH

Mikey: not the shark lovers

Ran: He's actually a gay psychopath thank u very much

Mikey: and a pedophile

Ran: Wellllll.. Ok maybe But damn he's hot 🥵 JKJKJKJKKKK

Sanzu: wtf is wrong with u

Mikey: your the real psychopath

Sanzu: fr

———————————————————

Rindou: do u like my ceiling

Ran: OMG ITS SO SEXY I love it

Rindou: ikr

Ran: nah mines better

Mikey: mine sucks it was leaking 😕

Koko: guys we live in the same apartment

———————————————————

Shinchiro: I didn't kiss her 🫥

Emma: Damn WHY CANT U STOP LAUGHING

Young mikey: because of face shaming

Izana: ✨yEs✨

#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokrev #manjiro sano #rindou haitani #rindou #ran haitani #ran #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu #tokyo revengers sanzu #bonten #sano shinichiro #sano manjiro #tokyo revengers fanfiction #tokyo revengers incorrect quotes #izana kurokawa #tokrev incorrect quotes

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fairy25 · 8 months

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here’s my impression of men flirting: hey what are you up to? I saw your profile and thought wow this chick looks like such a bitch haha. I also see you like hotdogs, I’m always telling my buddy jackson who I passionately kiss on the mouth that every female who likes hotdogs is a 6 at best. you’re probably like a 4.5 haha you remind me of my favorite porn star if she wasn’t hot. I have 5 pit bulls all named andrew and I shoot cats for fun. you’re very ugly. you should come over later. you can park on the street and walk it’s only like 15 miles. and I don’t give women head because I’m not fucking gay so don’t ask but I’ll explain crypto to you if you hold up a picture of my buddy jackson while we have sex. I only do anal and I prefer if you’re crying the whole time. did I mention that you are extremely ugly? hahaha. anyways here’s my snap

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ladyloveandjustice · 2 years

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Yuri is My Job has always been so interesting in how it plays with Class S tropes and pokes holes in them and the ‘performative’ nature of it all, but the latest volume is especially blatant and great about that

Sumika being like “THE LIEBE SCHOOL ACADEMY “SISTERS“ RELATIONSHIP IS GREAT BECAUSE IT’S ROMANCE WITHOUT THE ROMANCE. IT’S PURE. NO TOXIC SELFISH SHIT THAT COMES WITH ROMANCE. SO PURE” then going home, having a dream where she and the girl who’s supposed to be her ‘beloved little sister’ are starting to flirt and take their clothes off and being like ‘WOW WHAT A WEIRD DREAM!!! LIKE YOU’D SURE THINK I’M GAY BUT NO OBVIOUSLY I’M NOT BECAUSE ROMANCE IS BAD AND I JUST HAVE PURE FEELINGS HAHAHA’ just captures what that kind of shit does to your brain so perfectly.

#yuri is my job #please let the anime do it justice

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keybladeofthelostcitiesbsd · 11 months

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BSD, but it’s NTP’s Scooby Doo Parody Musical

watch this for context: https://youtu.be/bJP-JB5szH0

Dazai: The Armed Detective Agency! Mystery solvers, crime fighters, the HOTTEST people you’ve ever seen and kunikida!

Dazai and chuuya: *see each other*

Chuuya: dazai…

Dazai: chuuya…

Ranpo: ranpo!!

Junichiro: ZOINKS!!

Kenji: JEEPERS!!

Atsushi: JINKIES!!!

Kunikida: [A WHOLE STRING OF UNHOLY WORDS]

Kunikida: *clears throat * sorry

Dazai: * in response to kunikida* that was a new one

Mushitaro: yes though, DO be careful…

Mushitaro: *evil laugh intensifies* mwah hahaha!! MWAH HA HA-

mushitaro: we installed that for dramatic effect during our shows, now how did you all like it?

Mushitaro:

Mushitaro: oh they left

*mystery plot twists in Bsd be like*

Client: then he could really be anywhere! The basement has a tunnel system connected throughout the entire town!!

Kunikida: really? And you didn’t think to just, tell anyone that earlier?

Client: I didn’t think it was that important…

Kunikida: IN WHAT WORLD?!

Dazai: * is in jail*

Dazai: *sings an impossibly high note*

Dazai: woah man! I didn’t know I could do that!

Fyodor: yeah, well I do teach voice lessons in my spare time so-

Dazai: dude no way!

Fyodor: if you need any help just reach out

Dazai: yeah man for sure! For sure!

Dazai: so am I supposed to just like, stay here? Or…

Fyodor: oh! Right! Sorry sorry

Dazai: *sees a beautiful woman to commit double suicide with*

Dazai: *touches up hair and clothing*

Dazai: *dramatically poses*

Woman: *does not notice*

Dazai: *dramatically sighs for attention*

Woman: *doesn’t notice*

Dazai: * dramatically sighs even more dramatically*

Woman: *does not give two []s*

Dazai:

Dazai: *somersaults next to her*

Dazai: *to the waitress* were perfect together! You’re hot! I’m soooooooo hot! And I know everyone says that the bandages make me gay, but they’re really popular in Europe, besides it was only one time, he barely put it in it does not count!! (*cough* cHuUyA * cough* )

Lucy: I’m done! Ok? Im done! Im sick of you, and Fitzgerald, and everyone else just acting like all I do is stand here and look pretty! That is what I do 70% of the time but the other 30% I am a well working member of the guild!!

Kunikida: wait a second, did you and chuuya like…

Dazai: yUp

Kunikida: I had no idea…

dazai: well it’s called the Mystery Machine for a reason

Kunidia: wow- wait a second IN MY CAR?!

Dazai: oh, yeah. Wooooops

*higuchi and chuuya are talking about chuuyas latest diary entry after dazai left the mafia*

Higuchi: you sure it wasn’t about anything else?

Chuuya: like what?

Higuchi: you know chuuya, it would be completely ok-

Chuuya: IM NOT GAY

Chuuya: IT WAS ONE TIME

Dazai: ever since the gang split up, I’ve had nothing!

Dazai: Except for my modeling career, the book deal, a job, the car, riches, fame, fortune.

Dazai: but literally nothing!!!

Literally anyone: maybe you’re right-

Ranpo: Mhm, I know I am

Dazai: we’re gonna need a grappling hook!

Yosano: oh! I have that in my purse!

Dazai: a crowbar-

Yosano: I also have that in my purse!!

Dazai: a- a large net?

Yosano: I’d have to grab my second purse from the car, but it’s in there!!

Chuuya: *loses his temper in front of his team*

Chuuya: sorry guys, im dealing with a lot right now, it’s um-

Chuuya: *checks self help book*

Chuuya: internalized rage cause by my attraction

Chuuya: *checks book*

Chuuya: towards

Chuuya: *checks again*

Chuuya: men

*Bsd mystery’s also be like*

ADA: *reveals perpetrator*

ADA: the [person working with them to solve the ctime]

ADA: *gasps*

Dazai: *sarcastic* man, I did NOT see that one COMING

Chuuya: PUPPY POWEEEEEEEEEEEEER

*mysteries in Bsd be like, (part 3!!)

Perpetrator: and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling SUNAVA []S!!!!

Chuuya: *is being forced to retreat. Dazai’s dragging him away* you haven’t seen the best of CHUUYA NAKAHARA! LET ME AT EM!! LET ME AT EM

Might do a part 2, idk. But I do want to do this with more musicals! Should I do a part 2 with this one again?

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #funny #meme #scooby #doo #scooby doo #parody #musicals

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comorbididy · 1 year

Text

Oh! Hi! Welcome to my iiiiiintroooooo! :-)

Art by helicopterrrfunny!!

1. Name : Baldi B. Baldimore!

2. Age : 32

3. Pronouns : He/him, however I don’t mind they/them! :-)

4. Orientation : I’m a gay man!

5. Gender : Male!

6. Species : No idea, hahaha!

7. Alter type : fictive from an altered version of BBiEaL!

8. Role : Parental figure; a mix between a prosecutor, a protector & a caretaker!

9. Fun fact : I’ve been in this collective for 5 years now! I’m now the 2nd most active non dormant & non new alter! WOW! :-D

#📏 Baldi #baldis basics #baldis basics in education and learning #fictive #fictroject #fictive alter #alter intro #dissociative identity disorder #did #osddid #did introject #actually dissociative

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911-on-abc · 9 months

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I don’t use my full name in this app cuz I’m a somewhat known content creator in my country sjdjdjdjdjkdkdkss I don’t need nosy people reading & criticizing my gay porn

hahaha that's such a good secret! wow. I'm kind of stunned. we have a celebrity in our midst lmao

I don't think anyone uses their full name on this app unless they are like, Neil Gaiman, although maybe your first name is really unique?? but I totally get what you mean about nosy people finding ur account... like I'm even hesitant to share the city I'm from cause what if? you know?

thanks for the ask anon!!!

#my plan is to probably go into local government after college #and if the city's fire department found out about this account I would have no choice but to change my name & leave the state #goodbye politics #but god I could never be a content creator #it's cool that you are but I have a couple friends who are pretty big on TikTok and it just looks exhausting #I'm impressed with anyone who could do it but yeah it's not for me #asks #my post #bro why are my tags always longer than the actual post lol

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sadieshavingsex · 1 year

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Hey, this is the main blog of my side blog @tinytboy.

I just wanted to say I'm very glad that there are blogs like yours out there where people are working through religious trauma.

It might bring you joy to know that I was the kid at church camp who talked loudly about being gay and having sex. I was presenting female at the time and at one point I was in the girls dorm and I told a group of them that I masturbate. All of them initially were like "oh my gosh! Ew! That's sinful and gross!"

But then as I was telling then that I wasn't ashamed of it, two of those girls told me that the masturbated too. They thanked me for saying something because both of them kept it really secret and felt like it was bad.

The rest of the girls I was talking to left that conversation with a very different viewpoint than the one they went in with.

What I'm trying to say is, I wish you'd had an experience like that. But most of all I wish the church didn't exist.

wow wow wow!!! Go you!!! I can’t imagine this happening at my church😂

I feel like it wasn’t as fundie as a lot of other places, but man oh man did it have that awful vibe to it where everyone just kept their real lives from each other. For all the friends I made at church and all the help I was offered, I sometimes feel looking back that I didn’t really know most of those people who I would talk with, and they didn’t really know me, because there wasn’t much of a willingness or ability to have conversations like this, which honestly could’ve been my fault as much as theirs bc I felt so shameful about struggles with sex, relationships, masturbating, etc!!

I’m sure that you helped so many kids that day! In my experience that’s all I ever really wanted was to be told I wasn’t alone and people would still like me for me after finding out my ~terrible secrets~ hahaha

#ask #azziethot #tinytboy #lmk if you want one or both or neither tagged! :)#sexually repressed #ex fundie #exvangelical #sorry I took 80 years to reply btw #I’m on mobile so it prob looks wack lol

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watchingspnagain · 2 years

Text

Rewatching Bedtime Stories

Welcome to “The Brothers Get Grimm with Each Other: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s3e5: Bedtime Stories

People are dying weird in a small town. It takes our boys a minute to realize it, but the deaths all mimic fairy tales. What seems to be the ghost of a little girl appears at the scenes of the deaths, and that doesn’t track. Until Sam and Dean discover a young woman who has been in a coma since she was a child—and whose father has been reading her fairy tales all these years. Her spirit is trapped and restless because her step-mother poisoned her years ago. The boys have to convince her father to listen to her spirit and let her go to stop the grim deaths. Meanwhile, Sam has been hounding Dean about his refusal to try to find a way out of his demon deal, and the end of the episode sees Sam sneaking off to try to force the crossroads demon to give up Dean’s contract. Sam learns that she’s not the one holding his deal, and Sam shoots her with the Colt (and thus killing the woman she’s possessing as well). Should we be worried about him?

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

[and we begin:]

Mace:

wow, looong previously on

Lor:

yeah

Lor:

ah, peaceful music. something horrible is about to happen

Mace:

snork!

Mace:

the snort!

Lor:

YES

Lor:

it's so good

Lor:

you don't get it until you get it and then it's amazing

Mace:

YES

Mace:

oh, scared little piggy

Lor:

YES

Lor:

(aaaand now I’m thinking about Lord of the Flies)

Mace:

(HA! sorry)

Mace:

oh shouty boys

Lor:

"you're not dad" ooooo, the faces

Lor:

YES

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

I love when they argue about who gets to die

Mace:

SNORK YEP

Mace:

Pouty/Angry Sammy makes me happy

Lor:

that is how the full moon works, sammy

Mace:

Lor:

"the things he can do with a pen"

Lor:

DEAN

Mace:

HAHAHA

Mace:

He’s secretly making fun of Sam’s LotR fanfic

Lor:

omg taking the pen cap off with his teeth

Lor:

haaaaaahahahahaha

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“how would you feel?"

Mace:

OOOFFF

Lor:

"how would you feel" "I can't imagine anything worse" LOW BLOW SHOW

Lor:

omg Dean's wink

Mace:

YES

Lor:

haaaaaahahahahaha SAMMY

Mace:

omg SAM

Mace:

I LOVE IT

Mace:

I would FRAME that

Lor:

YES

Mace:

there are NO harmless old ladies in this show, dummy

Lor:

ALWAYS LISTEN WHEN A WOMAN IS RELUCTANT TO GO INTO A PLACE OR STAY AROUND A PERSON

Lor:

YES

Mace:

YEPYEPYEP

Lor:

FRECKLES

Mace:

YAS

Mace:

Sam’s stupid little curls over his ears

Lor:

YES

Mace:

“I have a theory - it could be bunnies"

Lor:

"you think about fairy tales often?"

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“touche"

Mace:

DEAN

Lor:

"we gotta do research now don't we?"

Lor:

you love it, Dean

Lor:

ZERO

Mace:

Focus, Dean

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

KISS IT, DEAN

Lor:

"there's no way I'm kissing a damn frog" ARE YOU A PRINCESS DEAN?

Mace:

it’s telling that he puts himself into the role of a princess looking for a prince

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

HAHAHA OMG

Lor:

LOLOL

Lor:

AAAAND Dean is projecting onto Sam with all this little gay jokes now

Mace:

YEP

Lor:

bc he slipped

Mace:

there are too many plants in that room

Mace:

creeps me out

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

where do they get these kids?

Lor:

this one, the girl who plays Lilith

Lor:

creepy

Mace:

YES

Lor:

DEAN WINCHESTER. you know you watched the Disney Snow White on cable, you know you did

Lor:

(that is a CREEPY ASS movie)

Mace:

right? and even if he didn’t there’s no way he doesn’t know that story

Lor:

yeah

Lor:

curious cop, empathetic cop

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“lucky guess” SMARTY DEAN

Lor:

YAAS

Lor:

they are both so smart pets them

Mace:

YES

Lor:

omg Dean's little face after he says "which is the weirdest thing I've ever said"

Mace:

Nope, I know for a fact that you’ve recently talked about purple nurples, so not the weirdest thing, Dean

Mace:

but yes his face!

Lor:

CORRECT

Lor:

I read it that he's reconsidering it being the weirdest thing he ever said but he's letting it go

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"so you've seen her too" I love that little twist where suddenly Sam doesn’t have to convince him

Mace:

YES

Mace:

because, I mean, HOW would he?

Lor:

right?

Mace:

i like this guy

Lor:

YES

Mace:

he has nice eyes

Lor:

he does

Lor:

and he seems like a really good guy

Lor:

how did Dean get out of that one?

Mace:

he DOES

Mace:

right?

Lor:

"I sure hope not"

Mace:

Welp, send ’em my way, doc

Lor:

"is that what you want me to do Dean? just let me go?"

Lor:

AND HE DOESN'T ANSWER HIM

Mace:

oh BOYS

Lor:

SOMEONE CUDDLE THAT BOY STAT

Mace:

I’LL TAKE THE TALL ONE

Lor:

HE DOESN'T THINK HE DESERVES TO BE SAVED

Lor:

more freckles for me!

Lor:

lookit Dean all curled up in the blankets

Lor:

oh Sam

Mace:

YES

Mace:

oh SAMMY NO

Lor:

convenient there was a crossroads with diggable dirt right there

Lor:

I don't even KNOW how far I'd have to drive to find one

Mace:

there always is

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

I actually wouldn’t have to drive too far

Lor:

i could find a crossroad easy and a dirt road easy.... I can't think of a dirt crossroads. probably not over far, actually. but I'd have to look

Lor:

OI! stop badmouthing Dean!

Mace:

RIGHT?!

Lor:

oooof Sammy

Mace:

OOOF

Lor:

Lolol

[after the episode ended:]

Mace:

so i love the balance between Dean not thinking he deserves to be saved and Sam fighting against this deal not because he doesn’t think HE deserves to live but because he doesn’t think it’s fair that Dean has to die. Another sign of Dean being raised by John and Sam being raised by Dean

Lor:

YES

#watchingspnagain #watchingspnagain 3x05 #spn #supernatural #spn meta #spn spoilers #spn 3x05 #watchingspnagain dean jokes #watchingspnagain dean sleeping #watchingspnagain bi dean #watchingspnagain demon deal #watchingspnagain frought #watchingspnagain music #watchingspnagain boy king of hell

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