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cozage · 9 months

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hii can i request silent treatment with sabo, law, and ace? like the one you wrote before! i love reading it sm i wanted to see how they (sabo, law, and ace) would react if they received/ gave silent treatment !

Characters: gn reader x Sabo, Law, Ace Cw: everyone involved being a bit of an orange flag Total word count: 4k

Silent Treatment

Sabo

Oh sweet sweet Sabo. He didn’t even realize his offhanded joke in the meeting had offended you. He didn’t think about how you and Koala were the only ones not laughing about the jokes the officers said. He didn’t notice how you and Koala immediately left the room fuming as soon as you could.

He had to run to catch up with you after the meeting, and you showed no sign of slowing your pace.

“Hey!” he called out, trying to get to you. “I’m gonna go out with the guys for a bit, I’ll catch up with you soon?”

“Do whatever you want,” you shot back. “The men know best after all, right?”

He must not have heard the sarcasm and anger laced in your voice, because he just gave you a wink and a peck on the cheek and ran off with some of the other leaders.

Koala gave you a side smirk. “They’re clueless, I swear,” she laughed.

“We never get the credit,” you grumbled. “I can’t do it anymore, Koala! I’m so fed up with this!”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“So many times!” you cried. “We’re treated the same professionally but socially-”

“It’s a commanders club,” she finished for you. “Maybe we should make a separate club?”

“Rule One: No talking to them until they apologize.”

Sabo was surprised to find that you weren’t waiting for him in bed when he got home. You weren’t in the spare room, either.

He finally found a note on the kitchen that was short and to the point. “Sleeping at Koala’s.”

Confusing, but he was slightly drunk, so he opted to go to bed and figure it out in the morning.

When morning came, he was disappointed to find that the coffee hadn't started. He went to grab his overnight oats from the fridge, but you hadn’t made that for him either, which was strange. Usually when you stayed at Koala’s, you prepped all that stuff ahead of time. But last night you hadn’t. He’d have to ask you about that before the meeting this morning.

He arrived late to the meeting since the coffee took longer than he thought it would and he had to make breakfast. You were already sitting when he got there, you and Koala talking to each other quietly. Normally you saved a se at for him, but today all of the seats had been filled, and he was left with one at the end of the table.

He kept trying to catch your eye, but you refused to look at him. He finally caught Koala’s at one point, and mouthed “What’s wrong?” but she simply rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Dragon.

If Koala was mad at him, that meant you were mad at him. He racked his brain the entire meeting, trying to think of what he would’ve done to make you upset. But he couldn’t think of anything.

He tried to catch you after the meeting, but you and Koala made a beeline for the door and ignored his calls after you.

“Just let them go, dude,” Jiron said to him. “Those two never want to hang out with us anyway.”

Shit. It all clicked together. The jokes made in the meeting yesterday, him going out with the boys without asking if you and Koala had wanted to come.

“Maybe if you treated them with a little respect, Jiron, they would.” Sabo’s words came out in a low, threatening hiss.

“Look, I know you’re close with them,” Jiron said. “But they’re not very nice to us either. They’re kind of…”

“Kind of what?” Sabo edged, his blood starting to boil.

“Well…bitchy.”

Sabo wasn’t really sure what happened next. He didn’t remember doing anything, but the next moment, Jiron was on the ground holding his nose. Blood was leaking out through his fingers onto the ground.

“Don’t use that word to describe either of them ever again. Got it?” Sabo growled the words, looking around the room.

“What the FUCK, Sabo?” Jiron cried, but Sabo was already pacing toward the door, desperate to get to you as soon as possible.

He caught up with you and Koala quickly and jumped between the two of you, wrapping his arms around your alls shoulders. You tensed at his touch, but once you realized it was him, you just scoffed and shrugged him off.

“Go away, Sabo,” Koala sneered as she shoved him away.

“I’m sorry!” Sabo jumped in front of you all, trying to block your path. “Please, I’m sorry I laughed at those jokes yesterday and even made one myself. That was really shitty of me.”

“Sabo,” you sighed, shaking your head.

He fell to his knees and looked up at you, begging. “And please teach me how to use the coffee machine! And make overnight oats! I’ll make it from now on. I’m starving and I’m sorry.”

His apology made you giggle, and you took his hands and helped him to his feet. Once he was standing, you laced your fingers through his. “You’ll really make the oats?”

“If you want me to.”

“Deal.” You smiled, and gave him a soft kiss to seal his promise. “Can’t go back on it now.”

“And how are you going to make it up to me?” Koala pouted.

“Oh,” Sabo suddenly got very bashful. “I punched Jiron, I think.”

“You WHAT?!”

Law

You bounded into Law’s office, excited to tell him the news. “Law! Shachi just caught-”

“Hang on,” Law mumbled, flicking through his book. He was always looking for something. You were always interrupting him.

After a few minutes, he looked up at you. “Okay, go ahead.”

“Shachi just caught an electric eel! A massive one!”

The moments the words left your mouth, Law was back to looking back at his book. “Interesting. Is that all?”

“Well, I just thought-”

“Hang on,” he mumbled again, already lost on another tangent in his head.

“Don’t worry about it.” You left the room before he had a chance to respond, though you doubt he even noticed your absence.

He got like this sometimes, and you tried not to get hurt by his sudden coldness. It’s just what happened when you were with the Surgeon of Death. A few hours later you had all but forgotten the encounter. There was an island coming up, and you ran to alert him.

“Law!” You slammed his door open, ecstatic. “Law! Guess-”

“Do you mind?!” His loud and hostile voice made you take a step back. “I’m trying to do something and you keep interrupting me!”

You pushed down the lump that was in your throat, but you could feel your lip trembling, threatening to give you away. You couldn’t look weak in front of him.

“Sorry,” you whispered, rushing out of the room.

Shachi found you first, furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I told you, you’re too good for him! Maybe you should give him a taste of what it’s like to lose you.”

“Like how?”

A devious grin grew on Shachi’s face. “Silent treatment.”

“Hey captain.” Bepo peeked in the door nervously, knowing there was tension about to be caused. “We’re heading off to the island.”

Law looked up from his book, confused. “Island?” You always told him when you were about to approach an island.

“We docked about a half hour ago,” Shachi chimed in from the hallway.

Law could hear something in his voice. “Where’s Y/N? Are they going?”

“They're going,” Shachi said, grabbing the door handle.

“Well, can you-” Law’s words were cut off by Shachi slamming the door shut.

That was Law’s first indication of something stirring. Shachi always took your side during squabbles, and he seemed livid today.

Law meant to go talk to you. He wasn’t sure what he needed to apologize for, but he knew it was something. But then he found an interesting article about poisons, and he got sucked into reading. Before he knew it, the sun had set and he had to turn on a lamp to keep reading.

Shachi, on the other hand, kept your mind busy. He took you out on the town, dragging you into every clothing shop and making you try anything on that even might look good on you. He pulled you into dessert shops and trinket stores and forced you to go on a beach walk with him. He was your best friend for a reason.

“What if he doesn’t apologize?” you asked him, watching the sun sink. “Then you don’t talk to him, no matter what,” Shachi responded.

Law was still shut away in his office when you returned, and your heart felt a soft ache. He hadn’t even noticed your absence.

“Come on,” Shachi said gently. “You can sleep in our room.”

“I should go talk to-”

“No,” Shachi said firmly. “He always does this. He needs to learn his lesson.” So you slept in the crew bunkhouse for the first time in months. Nobody asked questions, everyone just accepted it. You suspected Shachi had filled them in.

It took Law a few minutes to realize what was wrong. He had come into his room silently and brushed his teeth in the dark before bed like always. It was quieter than usual. And when he went to lay down, the bed was still made. As he pulled the covers back, he couldn’t help but notice how unnatural it felt. But he couldn’t place why.

It was too cold, he realized. And he quickly flicked on a light in the room to find it empty. Thoughts raced through his mind. Where were you? Had you gone missing? Had the Navy or someone else captured you to turn you in for a bounty?

He quickly walked to the shared common room, where he found Penguin and Ikkaku sitting. “Did you go to the island?” he asked, scanning the room. It was too late for you to be up, but he had to double check.

They both nodded, and Law tried not to panic. “Did Y/N come back?”

“Yeah,” Penguin affirmed. “We had dinner with them and Shachi, and we all walked back together.” He gave Ikakku a nervous glance before continuing. “I think they’re sleeping in the shared bunkhouse.”

“What?” Law hissed. “Why?” But Ikkaku and Penguin both shrugged, and Law turned and stormed out the door, making a beeline for the bunkhouse.

He flung the door open, searching for you. He quickly found you in the bunk below Shachi, and he walked over to where you were sleeping.

“What are you doing?” Law said, shaking you lightly. “Come to bed.”

You groaned in your sleep and pushed him away. You never slept well in the bunkhouse. You were a light sleeper, any type of noise made you wake up.

“Y/N,” Law said, shaking you harder. “Let’s go.”

“Law?” Your eyes finally opened, your voice full of exhaustion and sleep. Once you realized it was him, you slapped a hand over your mouth. Silent Treatment.

Law could see the hurt and anger in your eyes when you recognized him, and his heart constricted when you turned away from him.

“Can we talk about what’s going on? Please?” he begged. He was trying not to disturb others, but you could hear them beginning to stir.

You almost caved, but Shachi came to your rescue. He hopped down from his bed and put himself between you and Law. “You can talk in the morning,” Shachi said. “Y/N wants to be here, so let them sleep here.”

Law tried to look past Shachi to you. “I know you can’t stand sleeping here. Just come to bed. Please.”

“Captain.” Shachi’s voice was on the verge of dangerous defiance. “Leave.”

Law stared at him, not sure what to make of Shachi’s protectiveness over you. His gaze was almost challenging, but Shachi refused to back down. He could hear the others in the room starting to stir, and he knew he was only embarrassing you, so he conceded. “I’m coming back first thing.”

“That’s fine,” Shachi said. “If Y/N wants to talk then, you’re welcome to have a conversation.”

Law slept horribly that night. His fingers kept reaching out for you. The bed felt too big, the covers weren’t warm enough. He finally got up and started reading. He was too anxious to sleep.

So were you. You were tossing and turning every 20 minutes, trying to get comfortable. You couldn’t sleep without Law’s heartbeat thrumming in your ears. But Shachi made you promise to never admit it.

Law was sitting in the hallway outside the door when you went to get breakfast. You almost tripped over him, and when he saw you, he immediately stood to his feet. His tired gold eyes pierced into your soul, and you could see he was in rough shape. “Can we talk now?” He tried to keep the desperation out of his voice, but you could hear it loud and clear.

You gave a panicked look to Shachi, but he only gave you a smile and a small nod, encouraging you on.

You gave Law a nod in agreement. You still weren’t ready to talk to him, but you could listen.

“I did something yesterday,” Law said, closing the door to his office as you walked in. “I snapped at you when you were excited about something. I prioritized my studies over you and I’m sorry.”

You watched him closely, making sure his words were genuine. Law had a tendency to apologize when he knew you wanted to hear it, not when he actually felt bad about it.

“I’ve been doing that a lot lately,” he continued. “I tend to get obsessed with my work, and my relationships hurt because of it. And I know it’s not fair to ask you, but I need you to tell me when I’m hurting you. Because I don’t want to hurt you. That’s the last thing I want. So please…tell me. Yell at me. Smack me. Just don’t…don’t disappear on me. Please.”

Your heart melted at his words. You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. “And you won’t get mad?”

“I promise I won’t.”

You gave him a mischievous grin. “Even if I smack you really hard?”

“I feel like I’m going to regret saying that,” he groaned.

You giggled and gave him a soft kiss. “Too late, Captain.” You rested your head on his shoulder, his familiar scent making your eyes start to droop. “Can we go back to bed now?”

“Bed would be nice,” he mumbled into your hair, already pulling you toward his private room.

Ace

Fifteen people in the bar, and your boyfriend had flirted with every single one.

Friendly. That’s what he always called it. He was just being friendly. But you saw the way those commoners looked at him, the lust in their eyes. Getting with a pirate would be thrilling, they’d whisper when his back was turned. He never seemed to hear them talk about him, but he’d always be around them. Convenient.

“You shouldn’t be bothered,” he’d always say. “You know that I’ll always choose you.”

But you were bothered. You hated the pit of jealousy that formed in your gut every time a new person walked up to him. They were always so touchy, rubbing their hands along his shoulders, and the daring ones would even venture down his chest. Like he was their plaything. But he didn’t belong to them.

He was yours. Just not in this bar. Or any bar.

Maybe it was time to give him a taste of his own medicine. You were certain he wouldn’t be able to stand the thought of you flirting with another man.

Your eyes met an attractive man across the bar, and you decided it would be a good theory to test.

Seeing what you were about to do, Marco grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down into the seat. “Wait,” he muttered.

“Stay out of it, Marco,” you hummed softly. Your voice was pleasant, but there was a threatening undertone to it.

“If you want to make him jealous that will end in a fight and change nothing except the intensity of your makeup sex, go for it.”

Your cheeks brightened at his words, and you finally broke your eye contact with the random man to look at the commander. “Marco-!”

“But if you want to make him panic and stay by your side from now on, listen.” Marco’s voice got low. “Ace looks over here at least once every five minutes. He’s checking on you. I’m guessing jealous sex is his-“

“MARCO!”

“Anyway, I guarantee if you vanish, it’ll make him sweat. Just go back to the Moby Dick, and crash in my room for the night if you want. Give him a bit of the silent treatment. Don’t lean into what he wants. Push away, and I know he’ll stop.”

“How?”

“Because he’s head over heels for you, dummy. Even right now, all he wants is your attention. Don’t give it to him and you’ll cut the bad habits.”

It was worth a shot, and you wouldn’t have to talk to any sleazy guys to test the theory.

“You’re the best, Marco.” You flashed him a grin and stood, giving Ace one last glance. “But never talk about my sex life again.”

“Oh please,” Marco scoffed. “You have no idea what the commanders talk about during shower time, do you?”

Your eyes widened in horror, but Marco just laughed. “Relax! It was a joke!”

“It better be!” you hissed. “Or I’ll skin that boy alive.”

You gave one more glance to Ace. He was caught up in some conversation with a woman, giving her most of his attention. You rolled your eyes, jealousy panging in your chest, and slipped out the door.

The first two times Ace glanced over at your table, he wasn’t worried about your absence. But the third time, he started to get a bad feeling. You had been gone for too long.

He wandered back to the table, trying to appear casual and unbothered. “Hey Marco,” he said, bringing him another beer. “Where’s Y/N?”

Marco knew he was using the beer as a bribe, but took it anyway. “Not sure, they walked out about thirty minutes ago. Hasn’t been back since.”

“What?” Ace could feel himself sobering up, worried about your safety. “Where’d they go?”

“They seemed tired,” Marco said, watching Ace carefully.

“But they always tell me when they’re going home,” Ace grumbled, looking around. “I’m gonna head back too. Kind of over this whole scene.”

Marco chuckled, reading through Ace’s words, but he didn’t say anything further. He watched Ace walk out the door and back to the ship without so much as a goodbye to anyone in the bar, and he knew his plan would work.

Ace tried not to panic when you weren’t in his room. Sometimes you slept in other places, like the common room or the bunkhouse. Especially on drunken nights, you always seemed to find some random place to pass out. But you always told him when you were going to bed.

He didn’t sleep well. He wandered around the ship several times, trying to appear unbothered. But he was searching every nook and cranny, desperately looking for where you had landed yourself.

He didn’t see you again until the next morning, sitting at the breakfast table with Marco and a few others. You were completely surrounded by people, but Ace stopped by your seat on the way to the breakfast line.

“Hey.” He touched your shoulder and you stiffened at the contact, which was odd. Normally you leaned into his touch. You always looked up at him full of love, silently begging him for a morning kiss. But this morning you didn’t even bother to look his way. “Where’d you end up last night?” he asked.

“My room,” Marco answered for you, laughing. “That sure was a shock to walk into!”

You laughed, shoving Marco slightly. You still refused to acknowledge Ace, though it was starting to get difficult. “Hey Thornton, you left shortly before me. Where did you end up?”

“I swear I could’ve made it back to my room if I wanted to!” he bellowed, and everyone laughed.

“Right!” you laughed. “I bet the deck all night sure was cozy!”

You were ignoring him. Ace was sure of it. Had something happened between you and Marco…no. The two of you had only ever been friends, so close you might as well have been siblings.

He finally left you alone, his brain in overdrive trying to figure out what had made you so upset since the last time he spoke to you.

“You flirt too much,” Marco said, joining him in line.

Ace looked back at him, confused. “What?”

“You’re wondering why Y/N is ignoring you, right?” Ace shrugged, trying not to show that it was bothering him too much, but Marco clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Drop the act, man. You should care. And I know you do. I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears trying to figure it out.”

“I just like to talk to people,” Ace defended. “What’s the harm in that?”

“The harm is you don’t just talk. You flirt.” Marco chuckled, shaking his head. “I know what you’re doing, dude, and I don’t blame you. But you’ve got a good thing. Don’t lose it because you want to…talk.”

Ace frowned, annoyed with being called out so personally, but he thought about it while he ate his breakfast alone. He knew how much you hated the way he treated local islanders when you all went out. But he loved the jealous, possessive side of you. He loved watching you fight for him, even if you were fighting with him.

He found you lounging on the deck, reading a magazine. He walked over to you and sat on the edge of the lounger. He saw your eyes flick up and then immediately back to the magazine, and he could’ve sworn the air temperature dropped 10 degrees.

“Hey,” he cooed, his hands dancing up your legs, finding the spots he knew you were ticklish.

You tried to move your legs, but there weren't many places to escape to without getting up and walking away.

“Please talk to me,” he pouted. He leaned against you, pushing your magazine out of the way and resting his head on your chest, looking up at you with his signature puppy dog eyes.

You turned your head away from him, trying your best to ignore him even though he was physically on top of you, pinning you down.

“Pleaseeeee,” Ace begged. His hands came up and playfully squished your cheeks, and you struggled to keep a straight face. He was so good at making you smile.

“Go away,” you finally said, trying to push him off of you. It was useless, but you had to try.

“You speak!” Ace cheered, and you rolled your eyes. You were tired of his antics. You wanted an apology.

“I’m so lonely without you, babe,” Ace sang offkey, his fingers tracing along your shoulders. “Please come back to me, my loveeeee.”

You didn’t react, but you could feel your vision starting to get blurry. He was too stubborn, but you couldn’t keep doing this. You couldn’t keep being humiliated and forced to watch Ace live the best of both worlds.

“I’m sorry,” Ace finally whispered when he saw your eyes starting to get watery. “I know I’m a little insane.”

You finally looked at him, still silent. Waiting for more.

“And I’m sorry I’ve been hurting you for so long,” he said. “I don’t want to lose you. So no more flirting with random people in bars. You’re mine. And I’m yours.”

“Promise?” you whispered, your voice breaking.

“I promise,” he said, nuzzling into your chest and hugging you tight. He’d hold you close and never let you slip away again.

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kamaluhkhan · 4 months

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GET HIM BACK! (or: the 7 reasons you wanted revenge on luke castellan)

read part one — THE GRUDGE (or: the 7 things luke castellan hated about you)

pairing: luke castellan x nemesis!reader (afab, she/her pronouns)

summary: you were very angry and possibly still in love with luke castellan. kill him or kiss him — you still weren't sure what he deserved.

warnings/disclaimers: spoilers for season 1 of pjo + lots of book references. reader + luke are around 21 for most of this. rough? smut (p in v, oral f+m receiving, biting, scratching, slight choking, etc...) 18 + MDNI ! injuries + blood + violence. reader and others drink alcohol + smoke. lots of angst!!! luke + reader have matching tattoos. twilight + other pop culture references. reader kinda gives 'hell is a teenage girl in her 20s' vibes. maybe slightly toxic dynamic between reader + luke but we love complicated relationships ♡

author's note: thank u so much for all the love on part one!! i got a bit carried away with this one oops, but i hope y'all enjoy it :)

♪: "get him back" by olivia rodrigo

(i. he had a savior complex)

if you were less consumed by anger, you might have noticed the sound of his footsteps following closely behind you.

no one was supposed to go into the forest alone, but you were 17 and reckless and not at all concerned about breaking the rules, especially if it meant proving clarisse larue wrong.

you ventured into the woods, farther than you'd ever been before, with nothing except your knife and a chest full of determination to prove that you were strong and brave just like any other demigod, regardless of if you had a cabin or not.

you were younger then, less disillusioned, and more willing to buy into those fantasies of power and glory, spoon-fed to demigods as truth. one that you hoped to cross off that afternoon: being worthy of attention if you could sink your blade into the next monster that dared to cross your path.

everyone would see that you’re not just some little, powerless girl with no reason to be at camp.

and, sure, there was a small but not insignificant part of you that hoped your mother was watching, that she’d finally notice how much of a hero you could be.

you could have died that afternoon. you put up a decent fight, but soon enough you found yourself fallen to the forest floor: blade down, broken arm, bleeding out. a manticore inches away from sending you to the underworld.

you weren’t angry anymore, the adrenaline had left your body. you just were a scared child, silently praying to deities you hoped wouldn’t look away like they always do.

i’m sorry, mom. i couldn’t do it.

you closed your eyes, waited for your fate, and just when you thought all hope was lost —

the sound of a sword ripping through flesh, an injured growl, and then nothing but your ragged breathing.

your eyelids fluttered open.

it wasn't your mother, or any of the other gods, who jumped in to save your life.

standing in the middle of the clearing, gripping his sword, was luke castellan.

he tucked annabeth’s invisibility cap into his back pocket and brought you to the infirmary.

"she's okay, though?" luke asked. he was watching you carefully, ashes from the manticore dusting his orange camp shirt. his arms were crossed, and it seemed that he managed to defeat the monster relatively unscathed.

lee fletcher, son of apollo, nodded as he set your injury.

"nothing more than a broken arm and minor concussion. make sure your girl gets lots of rest, okay? no more monster hunting. probably has to sit out capture the flag tomorrow, too.”

you ignored the churning in your stomach when lee assumed you were luke’s girl. luke didn’t bother correcting him.

lee left to get you some ambrosia to speed the healing process, leaving you and luke alone in the room.

“you know, i’m not a damsel in distress you have to follow around, waiting to save. i’m not your girl.”

“seriously?” he raised an eyebrow, but his cheeks became slightly flushed. “you would be dead if it wasn’t for me. i heard what happened with clarisse, but gods — you didn’t have to go and get yourself killed to prove something.”

he was right, of course. part of you wanted to argue with him for always having to be the hero, but the fight lingering in your throat wasn’t enough to act on. you just sighed and looked away, feeling too impulsive and powerless and exhausted down to your bones.

you felt the bed dip beside you, and then a hand on your shoulder. it was warmer than usual, but the calloused skin still felt familiar on yours.

“they’re not worth it, okay? that’s what you’re always telling me.”

luke’s voice was lower than before, a touch of bitterness laced through.

“yeah, well you never believe it,” you replied, voice hollow. “so why should i?”

clarisse entered the infirmary before he could answer. luke was instantly on his feet, blocking you from her view, hand on the hilt of his sword.

“what are you doing here?” he practically growled.

“i heard what happened,” clarisse explained, looking past luke to catch your eye. you waved at her with your newly applied cast. “i’m sorry about what i said earlier, if that had anything to do with it.”

at that point, you were still trying to figure out where you stood with clarisse. she had arrived at camp just before the new year. you’d been so used to new campers being younger than you, and it was nice to have someone the same age to be friends with.

it wasn’t until the start of march, around two weeks ago, that ares had claimed her. ever since, there had been a newfound animosity between you, leading up to your explosive argument earlier that day. part of you had a feeling she was just trying to fit in with her siblings. it was a subtle thread woven throughout the camp, especially with the ares kids: this hierarchy of power according to the gods, with you on the lower end because your mother was only a minor goddess.

needless to say, it wasn’t anything you hadn’t heard before; it was just that the words pierced through your thick skin when coming from a friend.

but the very fact that she came to visit you, that she apologized and seemed to regret that you’d gotten hurt, healed you more than the ambrosia lee was just coming back to give you.

“thanks, clarisse,” you said after a mouthful of ambrosia.

even with an established truce, luke didn’t move away from you. in fact, he puffed his chest out a bit more.

“if you say anything like that to her again, i swear to all the gods —”

“i just said sorry, castellan,” clarisse scoffed. “now get out of the way so i can sign her cast.”

clarisse attempted to move closer, but luke stayed planted where he was.

“you are not getting anywhere close to her,” luke warned.

“easy, tiger.” you got up to put your hand on his arm, but luke jerked away from your touch. your fingers brushed against his skin however, and even that brief moment was enough to shock you with its temperature. you tried again, this time bringing a hand to his neck, and he let out a hiss upon contact. his pulse seemed quicker than normal.

“are you feeling okay?”

“i’m just fine,” he huffed, and stormed out of the infirmary.

a few days later, you were training with clarisse, when silena beauregard ran into the arena and interrupted you.

“it’s luke,” she coughed, out of breath. “he’s in the infirmary��”

you sprinted towards the big house before silena could finish her sentence.

when you reached the infirmary, luke was being held back by lee and a few others, screaming that he needed to go find you or you’d die. he was holding his sword, and campers wrestled to remove it from his grip. the sleeve of his shirt lifted up slightly, and that was when you noticed it: a gash across his bicep, shallow, but turning a sickly green. the rest of his skin was flushed, his eyes frantically searching for someone — you — and he was breathing heavily between sentences.

it turned out that he’d gone the entire week with the wound festering. one of the manticore’s spikes must have grazed luke, and he hadn’t thought much of it because he was so focused on making sure you were okay.

manticore poison could fuck with someone’s mind if not treated right away. worse: it could be fatal.

despite your heart beating out of your chest and the chaos you walked into, you kept your voice gentle, but firm.

“luke.”

for a moment, everything stood still. luke froze, and the campers took the opportunity to get a better hold on him.

he blinked at you and shook his head. “no. no. you’re not her. i heard her screaming from the forest and - and she’s in trouble. i need to —”

“it’s me, tiger,” you assured him.

you approached him carefully and, despite some whispers of warning, you gestured at everyone to let go of him completely. they might have had a point, because as soon as they did, the tip of his sword was dangerously close to your chin.

“you’re not her,” he insisted. “you’re just some monster trying to trick me.”

you stood in front of him then, and slowly raised your arm to show him your cast. a few people had signed it — beckendorf, chris, clarisse, silena. luke had signed his name too, of course, along with a poor attempt at a cartoon tiger that made you all laugh.

“see? it’s me. i’m okay.”

there were a few moments when you held your breath, feeling the celestial bronze dig into your skin a bit more. and then:

“it’s…you. you’re….okay?”

luke’s speech was slightly slurred. he dropped his sword like it suddenly weighed a thousand pounds; it nicked you on its way down. you didn’t care though, because luke almost fell to the ground, too.

you gripped his wrist to steady him.

“you’re probably not okay, though,” you explained, well aware of the urgency of the situation. his pulse felt weaker by the second, his skin burning against yours.

“i’m….i’m fine. i just need to — she’s gonna die if i don’t —”

“i’m right here. i’m here because you already saved me, remember? you saved me, but you got hurt.”

he shook his head slowly, and his eyes started to flutter close.

“no, i’m okay,” he breathed, his voice smaller than you’d ever heard it. “i need to make sure y/n is okay. she needs me….”

you swallowed the lump in your throat, seeing him start to fade away right in front of you.

you refused to lose hope.

no — you wouldn’t watch luke castellan die.

“i’m here, luke.” you gripped his wrist even tighter to remind him.

“but —”

“just rest for a minute, ” you insisted, guiding him towards a bed. “for me, okay?”

as soon as you managed to get luke onto the bed and, more importantly, calm, everyone else sprung back into action.

chiron was away for the week, so will solace — one of the younger apollo campers, but probably the best healer at camp — used some healing magic, while lee misted luke with cold water to cool him down and another kid dripped some nectar onto his wound.

luke hissed when the liquid seeped into his skin and reached out for you. you felt like the flesh might melt right off your bones, but you let him squeeze your hand for as long as he needed. somebody came around to put a bandage on your chin, too.

you'd always resented the gods, but that was the first time you'd really lost your faith in them. watching luke fight for his life even after saving yours, other demigods joining the battle, and you thinking: this is the life you cursed us with. you imagined the gods, with power to twist fate in their favor, simply enjoying a feast on mount olympus, hermes sipping nectar and not even aware that another one of his children is dying. you supposed your mother wasn’t any better either. her neglect felt like revenge for something you didn’t even know you had done.

after a while, the skin around luke’s wound lost its greenish hue. you released a deep breath when both lee and will declared that luke seemed to be on the mend — he just needed to get some rest, and, best case scenario, the poison should have run its course by morning.

you didn’t ask about the worst case scenario.

you estimated it was around 2 am when you heard luke’s voice again.

“cold,” was all he said through shivering teeth.

you wordlessly grabbed as many blankets as you could, and tucked them around luke. you waited a few minutes to see if it helped.

“so - so cold,” he shivered again. you reached out to check luke’s pulse, and all you could find was the faintest heartbeat. his skin looked pale in the moonlight and now felt ice cold despite his high fever earlier.

no one else was in the infirmary then. you were wracking your brain to remember what you had learned in demigod survival class about hypothermia. something about warm drinks? you ran to the kitchen and made him a cup of hot chocolate — with cinnamon, just how he liked it.

you whispered his name once you were back at his bedside. his eyelids fluttered open. you tried coaxing him to take the drink, but he wouldn’t even hold the mug. you didn’t think twice about climbing into bed next to him, gently sitting him upright against the headboard so that you could offer him tiny sips. you noticed then that he was still only wearing a tank top, so you took off your sweatshirt — which happened to be one of luke’s — and slid it on him.

when the hot chocolate was done, luke sighed. some of the color returned to his face, and his teeth stopped chattering.

“thanks, karma.”

you just hummed in response, setting the mug down on the nightstand beside you and twisting underneath the blankets. luke settled back down next to you. he brushed his thumb over the band-aid on your chin.

“what happened? did clarisse —”

“easy, tiger. it’s nothing — just a little scratch,” you replied.

you spared him from the whole truth. sure, there was a moment earlier when you didn’t know whether or not luke would hurt you. it was only a split second, because that wasn’t your luke. he shouldn’t have had to live with the guilt of something he did by accident, as a result of a poisoned mind.

“anyways, i should be thanking you. you’re the one who almost died saving my life. you were hanging by a thread just a few seconds ago. it seems like you’re not completely out of the woods yet.”

“well, i guess the fates are still deciding what to do with me.” he cracked a smile.

it was a bit morbid, given what you’d been through the past 12 hours, and the fact that the manticore venom clearly hadn’t left his body completely. the possibility of his death had not completely disappeared, though you supposed that, as demigods, the risk always remained higher.

fuck the gods. they weren’t your protectors. they weren’t your family.

the campers who put their whole heart into healing you and luke, the boy who risked his life for you — they were your family.

you took luke’s humor as a good sign. the luke castellan you knew — confident banter, radiant grin, heart of gold — was coming back to you.

the luke castellan you would not allow die, even if you could still feel the cool bronze of his blade linger on your chin.

(ii. he had an ego)

according to annabeth chase, it was statistically improbable for a demigod to reach drinking age. something always kills them first - a monster, a blade, a fatal flaw. the likelihood of survival only gets exponentially lower with each passing year.

she repeated that information to luke on the morning of his 21st birthday.

“thanks for the cheerful birthday wishes, sis.”

annabeth shrugged and hugged him before walking back to the athena table to finish breakfast.

"you hear that, tiger?” you pointed a syrupy fork at luke. “you are literally saying fuck you to fate, just by being alive."

"that’s the way i like it," luke quipped, and stole a blueberry from your plate.

"hey man, happy birthday." chris patted luke’s shoulder on his way to sit across from you and luke. "so, i just talked to chiron and he agreed to let us go out tonight."

you smiled between bites of your pancakes, reaching over to offer chris a triumphant fist bump.

“nice work, rodriguez.”

"we're going out tonight?"

you pressed your knee to luke's under the table.

"of course we are," you hummed. "we have a lot to celebrate."

so, you, luke, chris, and a few of your friends — beckendorf, silena, and clarisse — went into the city to celebrate. one of luke's favorite bands was playing, and you had managed to snag a few tickets. you'd all entered a bar confidently that night, the fake ids you were at once so giddy and paranoid about no longer needed.

there were few times when you could all just kick back and have fun, without having to worry about the responsibilities of being senior counselors. that night, you were all itching for a taste of freedom. or, at least, some alcohol.

"happy birthday to the one and only luke castellan: a hero by any other name!"

everyone raised their shot glasses, echoed beckendorf's words, and threw back their drinks.

the night became louder, more vibrant. yet, even as you laughed and drank and danced with your friends, there was a heaviness lingering in your chest.

for most demigods, birthdays were bittersweet. each one served as a reminder of time running out because of exactly what annabeth said that morning. most half-bloods don’t even live past their teens, let alone the age of 20. you had the blood of gods flowing in your veins, and your lives were influenced by sinister, divine forces from ancient times. you were the new generation of heroes, protagonists of those greek tragedies that made mortals weep.

there was no guarantee that this would last forever, but all of your friends — the people you loved — had beat the odds.

so, who would blame you for getting a little sentimental?

beckendorf and chris had wandered off to play pool, in hopes of winning some bets and free drinks. clarisse was flirting with some girl who caught her eye, and silena went to grab some water after having danced for a bit. you and luke were still in the crowd, swaying to the music. for one glorious moment, you were just a group of twenty-one year olds enjoying a carefree night out.

under the flashing lights, you stole a glimpse at luke. he wore a simple white tank top and ripped jeans, paired with a leather jacket and some rings he borrowed from you so he could, in his words, look more punk-rock. his curls were messy, his skin glittering with a thin sheen of sweat. the chain he layered with his usual camp necklace caught the multicolored light and highlighted the sharp angles of his collarbones.

whatever aesthetic he was going for, luke looked good. based on various eyes following him throughout the room, you assumed others thought the same as well. it made you just a little bit furious, feeling that he wasn't only yours to admire.

“you good?” luke’s voice cut through the noise, but he had to lean in close.

his fingers brushed against the section of waist exposed by your cropped top. you’d gotten so warm that you had to tie your flannel around your waist, but luke’s touch sent a shiver through your body. it made you somewhat dizzy, feeling the cold metal of those rings on your skin. even moreso, when you realized how much you wanted to kiss your best friend, sink your teeth into his smirk and taste the mint chapstick and tequila on his lips.

to be fair, you and luke had crossed that line before, and you were in the fields of asphodel ever since.

not quite friendship, not quite romance. something deeper, more volatile and electric.

you didn’t want to make things blurrier than they already were, though. whatever you acted on that night could have just been dismissed the next morning as a drunken mistake.

so, you just nodded at him and turned back towards the band as though you were never thinking about anything more than the music.

after a few more songs, luke commanded your attention once more.

“hey, didn’t you once say you wanted to start a band?”

“what do i look like, a child of apollo?” you joked, but luke raised an eyebrow at you, clearly wanting a serious answer.

it was slightly alarming, how well he knew you; through your childhood dreams and down to your core.

“in another life,” you conceded. “maybe.”

“in another life,” luke echoed. he leaned in close again. “you’d be a pretty hot drummer, and i’d be front row at every show.”

your lips could have touched if you moved your head just an inch, but he pulled away before you did. he was giving you that classic son-of-hermes smirk, the one that made everyone swoon.

the thing was, you were sure that luke knew the effect he had on people. you had seen him continuously bask in the praise of chiron and other campers, always preening for the crowd's attention, as if he had to do anything more than smile. everyone loved luke — he was handsome, charismatic, strong.

and, yeah, you weren’t immune. your fatal flaw: not loyalty, or anger, or recklessness, but luke castellan’s charm.

you had to keep yourself grounded. it would be a bad idea to cross that line again on his birthday, right?

luke licked his lips as you kept staring at him. you could tell he was waiting for you to do something.

maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your veins or the rhythm of the music vibrating through your bones, but you started thinking — fuck it.

before you could act on that impulse, some person with bright red hair stepped between you and luke. she introduced herself, telling luke she saw him from across the room, and she'd been watching him all night, and would he by any chance want to dance with her?

luke seemed flattered, interested even. he flashed her the very same smile he had just given you, which left a bitter taste in your mouth. you excused yourself before you had to hear them flirt even more.

you walked over to silena at the bar. she had a half-empty glass of ice water melting in front of her, her attention somewhere else. you sat down beside her and followed her gaze to what — who — she was looking at.

“if confessing feelings to someone is hard for aphrodite’s daughter, then there’s really no hope for the rest of us,” you tell her.

silena whipped her head towards you. her cheeks were flushed a light pink.

“i - i don’t have feelings for clarisse.”

“lena, please. we all know. well, except maybe clarisse.”

“what?” she blinked at you, eyeshadow shimmering in the light.

“yeah,” you said with a small laugh. the irony of it all: the head counselor of cabin 10 denying that she was in love with someone. “we talk about it all the time.”

“well,” silena huffed, cheeks now a bright red. “i guess i should tell you that the rest of us talk about you and luke.”

you reached over to grab her water, your throat suddenly dry.

“what about us?” you asked after finishing the drink in one long sip.

“about how you obviously both have feelings for each other. half the camp already thinks you’re dating.”

you started to crunch on whatever ice was still frozen.

“well, we aren’t.”

that reality hurt more than the sharp pain piercing your brain from ingesting too much cold, too fast. you couldn’t even spot luke in the crowd — he and the redhead had probably gone off to some private corner.

“people think love’s a joke,” silena sighed. “but they don’t realize how much power it can have over a person. it can make people —”

“cowards?” you suggested.

silena nodded solemnly. “cowards.”

neither of you said anything for a while, two love-sick half-bloods slumped over a sticky bar counter.

suddenly, silena sat up straight. she tied her black hair up into a ponytail. perfect, of course, along with her makeup. you were sure you had sweat off the glitter she had applied to your cheeks earlier.

“i am not a coward.”

without another word, silena got up and glided towards clarisse, and you were left with an empty stool next to you.

part of you was proud of her for following her heart. the other part couldn’t stop picturing someone else’s tongue down luke’s throat.

“can i get a ginger-ale, please?” you asked no one in particular, hoping that the bartender heard your request for something to ease your nausea.

“you sure you don’t want anything stronger?”

someone slid onto the barstool next to you. he looked around your age, wearing a navy and red rugby shirt. he had what looked like a pretty expensive watch on his wrist, and he was already leaning in way too close for a stranger.

“i’m fine,” you deadpanned.

“oh, come sweetheart, it’s on me.”

you scoffed at the nickname and shook your head.

the guy next to you didn’t care. he snapped to get the bartender’s attention. “two vodka tonics, please. that’s your drink, right? i’m usually pretty good at guessing.”

“dude, i said i’m fine,” you repeated through clenched teeth.

the bartender set two drinks in front of you and rugby shirt pointed towards them.

“well, i already got you a drink, so you at least owe me a conversation.” he slid the drink closer to you.

"i don't owe you anything."

"oh, come on," rugby shirt cooed. "i don't bite." he slipped his hand underneath your skirt, nails scratching along the skin of your upper thigh, through your fishnets.

you growled at the contact and stood up abruptly, more than a little coincidentally knocked the glass over. the liquid splashed onto him. his flirtatious grin melted right off his face.

“jesus christ —you bitch,” he spat. “this is what i get for trying to be nice?”

“that’s what you get for trying to grope me,” you snapped. “but i could do a lot worse if you’re in the mood.”

his face was a pissed-off shade of red, his mouth formulating a response when —

you felt luke’s arm wrap around your waist, pulling you close to him. you side-eyed him, and ignored the hickey blooming at the base of his neck.

“is there a problem here?” luke’s voice was firm, steady.

it seemed like all the fight left rugby shirt’s body, and he put his hands up in surrender.

“oh, sorry dude. i didn’t realize she was taken.”

you rolled your eyes. figured that this guy would only back off if there was a jealous boyfriend in the mix.

“it’s fine, i’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”

“that’s for sure,” the guy continued. “your girl practically bit my head off for being nice and buying her a drink.”

your fingers tightened into a fist.

“that is not —”

“look, i gotta apologize on her behalf.”

“luke, what are you —”

“let me handle this, baby,” he hummed. “trust me, she’s normally a good girl. she just gets….harder to control after one too many drinks.”

“i am this close to throwing my next drink at you,” you insisted.

you weren't naive. you knew luke was putting on an act, but you weren't sure why he felt the need to appease this jerk and put you down in the process.

you hated the way he was acting now — arrogant, condescending, borderline sexist. you wanted to storm off, you really did, but that would mean having to tear yourself away from luke, and.... you didn't hate the firm hold he had on you.

he chuckled and raised an eyebrow at the guy knowingly, like they were the closest friends.

“see what i mean?”

“that’s quite the firecracker you got there,” the guy complimented, as though you were a prize luke had won. “those are the ones you gotta keep on a tight leash, though.”

oh, your patience was wearing thin. if luke didn't take care of this guy soon….

“don’t i know it.” luke laughed when you barred your teeth at him. “look, we all came here to have a good time. why don’t you go join your friends again, and i’ll send over some drinks.”

rugby shirt looked at luke, then nodded.

“alright. thanks, man. and sorry again for the….confusion.”

luke extended a hand, and the guy shook it.

"no hard feelings. i'll be sure to keep her on a tighter leash, though."

rugby shirt walked away, laughing. you were just about ready to bite luke's head off.

you shoved luke away from you. your whole body felt like it was on fire.

“luke castellan, i don’t care if it’s your birthday, if you ever talk to me like that again, i swear to all the gods —” you faltered when luke’s lips curled into a smirk.

that smug, gorgeous, self-important smirk.

“what?”

“i’m just waiting until you’re done chewing me out,” he said, clearly a bit amused. “you done?”

you hesitated, narrowing your eyes at him. “for now, i guess.”

“good, because we have about 2 minutes before our misogynistic frat buddy over there notices that something’s missing.”

he lifted his hand to show off the real prize of the night.

“you did all of that….. to steal the guy’s watch?”

“well, duh. he was being a jerk and i’m the prince of thieves, karma. gotta use my powers for good.”

luke winked at you as you stared at him in awe.

“we really should go though. the others are waiting for us outside.”

you jutted your chin towards the bruise on his neck.

"what about the redhead?"

luke flushed, adjusted his collar to hide the hickey. "i kinda lost interest when she said i was hot for an asian guy."

"oh." you ignored the triumph in your gut. "sounds like a jerk, too."

"whatever." luke shrugged. "hard to find the good ones, right?"

luke turned towards the exit.

"wait.” you tugged him back, and luke looked confused for a split second. “you're one of the good ones, luke castellan. did i ever tell you how incredibly happy i am that you were born?"

luke grinned. "you could stand to say it more often."

his smile was infectious. you liked this side of luke: protective, mischievous, a bit of a trouble-maker.

it made you want to kiss him all over again.

(iii. he lied without flinching)

you couldn’t find luke anywhere.

he wasn’t at the climbing wall, or the arena, or the forge. luke seemed to have a knack at vanishing when you needed him most.

when you finally found him, he was outside the big house, in what seemed to be a somewhat heated conversation with chris and a new camper, ethan nakamura.

ethan nakamura, son of nemesis. you were shocked when your mother’s symbol — swords crossed underneath a set of scales — appeared over his head after two weeks of staying at the hermes cabin.

you were still getting used to having a younger half-brother.

“hey,” you greeted the trio, slightly out of breath from running all over camp. as soon as you joined them, a silence fell over the group. “i was looking for you everywhere, tiger. what’s going on here?”

“actually, we were just —”

“nakamura,” luke spoke ethan’s name like a warning.

“i’m just saying, maybe we should consider —”

luke cut ethan off this time with a sharp glance.

“i already said no. end of discussion.”

“whatever you say, boss,” ethan grumbled.

the trio was silent again, and you eyed each of them suspiciously.

“okay, seriously. what’s —”

“we’ll talk more about this later, guys,” luke interrupted. his tone was commanding. ethan and chris dispersed.

once they were gone, you furrowed your brows at luke, not sure what they would be talking about that could make him speak so harshly.

“what was that about?” you asked for the third time.

“nothing important.” luke gave you a smile that seemed to stretch a bit thin. “you said you were looking for me everywhere. wanna go makeout in the hermes cabin? i’m pretty sure it’ll be empty this time of day.”

you shook your head, no matter how tempting the offer. the scene you walked into made you so uneasy that you completely forgot there was something important you needed to tell luke.

“percy and annabeth just iris-messaged me,” you explained.

“oh,” he quirked an eyebrow at you. “is their quest going alright?”

you repeated everything the kids had told you: medusa, the chimera, ares. clarisse maybe being the lightning thief. luke had to sit down on the stairs leading to the big house when you spoke that last part. you understood why — clarisse was your friend.

sitting down next to him, you sighed.

“you don’t think….you don’t think it could be true, do you?”

clarisse was hot-headed, sure, maybe a bit impulsive, but a war between the gods? that didn’t seem her style.

you hoped luke would assure you, but instead he said:

luke ran a hand through his hair. “it would make sense.”

“what?”

he leaned in close, voice low.

“clarisse was there with us during our field trip to olympus in december. the gods are arrogant enough to leave their stuff in the throne room, and there’s not really any security. she could have easily snuck in when everyone was sleeping. clarisse….” luke let out a heavy breath. “clarisse is the lightning thief.”

“no. no. she wouldn’t —”

“it makes sense, karma,” luke insisted. he placed a hand on your knee. “clarisse is angry at the gods.”

“we all are,” you pointed out.

“well, sure, but her dad is ares. how else do you get the god of war’s attention if not starting a war?”

you took a second to process luke’s reasoning. maybe he did have a point. it was just that sharp pain in your chest keeping you from believing it.

“we don’t know anything for sure,” you decided. “and until we do….we don’t tell anyone. especially chiron.”

luke squeezed your knee, gave you a reassuring smile.

“sounds like a plan.” he moved in closer and whispered: “now, how about we sneak away, and i do that thing with my tongue that makes you squirm?”

you felt something tighten in your lower abdomen. you and luke were still in the sneaking-around-camp stage of your relationship; you both got a thrill from it.

at the time, you figured luke was just offering you a much needed distraction.

he kissed just below your ear to sweeten the deal — and how were you supposed to resist?

you didn’t even question how luke knew when the bolt was stolen, let alone how he seemed to have the theft already planned out perfectly.

(iv. he hid behind a pretty face and perfect teeth)

it had been a little over a week since people around camp — including percy, annabeth, and grover, who had gotten back from their quest — found out about you and luke, together. apparently your friends had a bet going, meaning that everyone other than silena was less than thrilled about your announcement. they warmed up to the idea since then.

it still felt a little bit surreal calling luke castellan your boyfriend.

luke often played the role of the perfect demigod, the one everyone should strive to be. he paid extra attention to new campers and made them feel welcomed. he did his chores on time, stepped in if more hands were needed for kitchen patrol, and spent hours going through reports for chiron. he taught sword-fighting and encouraged younger campers to keep practicing. he did participate in the occasional prank, that mischievous child of hermes streak impossible not to indulge in, but it only made everyone adore him even more. because luke was responsible, but not boring. he was incredibly skilled and driven, but also gracious. he was sensible and charismatic.

you watched that luke — camp half-blood’s golden boy, the hero everyone either wanted to be, befriend, or date — and you were in awe. mostly, you wondered how he managed to bury the anger and resentment you knew was churning inside him, the same anger and resentment you sometimes let slip through.

no, you were not as careful as golden boy luke, who showed no malice towards the olympians. to chiron, to everyone else, luke castellan respected the gods, honored them in everything he did, and taught others to do the same.

that was not the luke who sucked a bruise onto your neck while suggesting something even you might consider blasphemous.

“we can’t just - uh,” you had to catch your breath when luke slipped his thumb underneath the band of your sports bra. “we’d get in trouble, tiger.”

you felt him chuckle against your skin.

“since when do you care about that?”

“since the king of the gods would probably strike us with lightning, or turn us into some horrible monsters, or curse us if we were caught fucking in his cabin."

"that’s only if we get caught."

luke gave you that flirtatious smile, the one he now reserved only for you.

it was that smile that led to luke settling between your legs, fucking you with his tongue and fingers, his other hand digging into your thigh to keep you from writhing too much.

zeus’ cabin was, of course, empty, since his only known child was turned into a pine tree. you and luke had tucked yourselves into the one corner where the giant statue of the god couldn’t see you, setting a sleeping bag down on the cold marble floor and your discarded clothes scattered throughout. the dome-shaped ceiling was decorated with an enchanted mosaic sky that seemed to move. the only sounds that echoed throughout the room were moans as your orgasm washed over you.

"you're so, so pretty," he mumbled, wet lips brushing the skin of your inner thigh. he stayed where he was, awfully concerned with lapping up everything.

you whined his name when you found him taking too long, already a bit sensitive and wanting him inside you.

it might have been your conscious, but you swore you could hear a storm brewing, the threat of thunder and lightning looming. the mosaic sprouted some clouds, growing darker by the second as if a countdown to your doom.

luke, on the other hand, was acting like you had all the time in the world, and then some.

he paused after his name tumbled from your lips again, and you tugged his hair. he propped his chin on your stomach to get a better look of you. luke was gorgeous, with his mess of black curls, deep brown eyes a little more dangerous than usual, smirk shining with your come.

"yes, sweetheart?"

“get up here and kiss me,” you groaned.

once again, luke took his sweet time. his mouth left a trail along your thighs and your hips, your stomach and ribs. it felt like he was worshiping every inch of your skin, scarred and uneven and tattooed as it was. luke took extra care in appreciating the sword engraved on your sternum, the tattoo that matched the one he had on his collarbone.

“hi,” luke whispered once he was face to face with you.

“hey, tiger,” you matched the softness of his voice, contrasting the harshness that followed when luke crashed his lips into yours. you could taste yourself on his tongue, and once he sucked all the air from your lungs, you had to pull away.

you informed him: “there’s a condom in my back pocket.”

“always prepared,” he noted with a smile, reaching over to get it.

you kissed luke again as he entered you, your nails scraping down his back. when he pulled away to look at you, you couldn’t meet his gaze. instead, you were mesmerized by the sharp contours of his body and the healed wounds that lingered, every scar that you knew by heart like they were your own. it might have been strange, but you had a favorite — the faint cut on his hip from when he, thalia, and annabeth were on the run and they had to jump a fence.

if luke hadn’t been thrusting into you, you would have bent down to kiss it.

“eyes up here, beautiful.”

when you complied, luke smiled and ran his thumb along your jaw.

“good girl,” he praised. “you okay if i go harder?”

you settled for kissing the scar on his cheekbone.

“yes,” you finally answered. "please."

luke brought his hand down to wrap your leg around his hip before he started moving faster. your head fell back against the marble floor, but you didn’t care about the impact. you just focused on how good it felt to have luke inside you, his strong hand on your hip, his warm breath on your skin.

after feeling you tighten around him, luke let go a bit more. he dropped his head between your neck and shoulder, his curls brushing against you. as he reached his peak, luke bit your shoulder, hard, to keep himself from groaning too loudly. you could have sworn that you heard thunder at that exact moment. in fact, it seemed to shake the entire cabin.

luke seemed to catch the threat that time, too.

there was no room for pillow talk as the two of you rushed to get dressed and get out of there before the king of the gods lost his patience and struck you with lightning, turned you into some horrible monsters, or cursed you. maybe all three, maybe something worse.

you slipped on your underwear and pants, but couldn’t find the top half of your outfit.

“do you see my shirt there?”

luke had just pulled on his boxers when he turned and passed the item to you. you weren’t sure why he paused for a second while doing it. then, he whispered:

“shit.” luke’s eyes were glued to your shoulder, where his teeth had broken skin. his cheeks flushed a bright red. whether it was shame or embarrassment, you didn’t know; but you were slightly taken aback. “i’m, i’m sorry, i — i didn’t mean to hurt you. i never want to —”

you placed your hands on his cheeks.

“hey.” you whispered at him softly, and it was enough for him to stop rambling. you could tell he felt guilty, though, since he refused to meet your gaze.

“luke, baby, look at me.”

when he finally did, your heart ached.

it wasn’t like you hadn’t done similar to luke. you’d never broken skin, sure, but luke seemed to enjoy — really enjoy — whenever you used your teeth in the heat of the moment. you just assumed he knew you wouldn’t mind the same.

but, one bite, and luke was almost reduced to tears, all because he was afraid of hurting you.

“it’s fine, okay? i’m fine.”

luke didn’t seem convinced, his brows furrowed with concern. you kissed the crease on his forehead and reassured him once more that you were fine.

“if anything, consider it payback for the hickey i left that took a week to fade away.”

luke smiled softly at that, and you knew he was coming back to you.

“you know, annabeth suggested that i go to the infirmary because of how it looked. i had to tell her i got it during sparring practice.”

“it wasn’t that bad,” you laughed, and so did luke.

thunder rumbled throughout the cabin once more, and you swore the clouds were growing darker by the second.

you were about to finish getting dressed when he grabbed your waist.

“look, if i’m ever too rough whenever we’re —”

“sparring?”

“sure,” he smiled, thumbs rubbing circles on your bare skin. “whenever we’re sparring, just promise that you’ll let me know.”

“of course,” you hummed. “only if you do the same.”

“of course,” he echoed, and he pecked your lips. “i think it’s hot, you know? when you feel like you can let go. when you mark me. i like everyone knowing that i’m yours.”

you bit back a smile, feeling your cheeks grow warm.

“well, i think it’s hot when you mark me, too. especially when you bite me,” you admitted.

“don’t tell me you’re still into the whole vampire thing,” he teased.

“oh, please. you were as obsessed with it as the rest of us. don’t you remember?”

as if either of you could forget marathoning the entire twilight saga with your friends, the six of you squeezing onto the small couch in the big house, sharing one bowl of popcorn and endless cups of coffee to stay awake.

you shivered out of the memory when he brought his fingers up to trace the bite mark he had left on you.

zeus could have sent more thunder. he could have created a whole godsdamned storm, but you wouldn’t have cared.

luke was so close that you had nothing better to do than to close the distance between you.

luke got bolder as the kiss became more heated — he sank his teeth into your bottom lip, his tongue sweeping over the crimson liquid that emerged, the tang of copper invading your mouth.

“easy there, edward,” you joked, and felt him smirk against your lips before moving to nip at your neck.

you trailed your hand down the front of his exposed stomach, outlining the contours and curves. with the moonlight reflecting in, accompanied by the crackle of lightning, it almost looked like luke’s skin was glittering.

“you’re so beautiful," you cooed, nails scraping against the tight muscles of his lower abdomen.

“this is the skin of a killer, bella!” he mimicked.

you laughed at the reference, but when luke seemed to realize what he said, you swore you felt his grip tightening on your hips, though you didn't know why.

“i never want to hurt you,” he finished the sentence you had interrupted earlier.

“you won’t.”

at the time, you didn’t think he was even capable of such a thing.

for better or for worse, that was the night you realized something.

you liked golden boy luke. or, at the very least, you tolerated him.

the rule-breaking, sin-committing, blood-sucking luke?

in the words of bella swan: he was the one you were unconditionally and irrevocably in love with.

except your life wasn't some cliché yet endearing love story about fictional vampires and werewolves.

it had monsters, too. you just didn't realize who they were until it was too late.

(v. he made you look so naive)

there was blood on your hands, but you weren’t sure who it belonged to.

yours or luke’s — it was a toss-up that made you more than a little nauseous.

luke had stolen the lightning bolt. luke had tried to frame percy and start a war between the gods. luke had begged you to join kronos’ army with him. you almost killed him because of it until you realized that he left percy to die.

you summarized everything to chiron and mr. d once you had made sure that percy was getting help in the infirmary. the scorpion poison was still putting up a fight, but percy was strong. annabeth was there with him.

dread simmered in the pit of your stomach just thinking about having to tell her everything, too — to see the look in her eyes when she hears just how much her big brother betrayed her.

“and you have no idea where mr. castellan could have gone?” chiron’s voice was stern, as usual.

you shook your head, not particularly paying attention. you could still feel blood seeping from the blademark luke had left.

“that’s awfully convenient,” mr.d scoffed.

you narrowed your eyes at him.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i’ve heard around camp that you and this luke were quite…. close,” mr. d said, pointing his can of diet coke at you accusingly.

a wave of anger surged through you. it had been building in your gut ever since luke revealed his betrayal, and you didn’t care if it was a god who was on the receiving end of your wrath.

“seriously? i saved percy and told you everything, and you’re here suggesting what? that i’m somehow a traitor, too?”

“seems like the plot of a pretty twisted love story.”

your lips curled into a snarl, and you were about to pounce until chiron dismissed you.

you were in a trance for the rest of the day. chris was gone, too. ethan didn’t seem surprised. silena sobbed, clarisse comforted her, beckendorf cursed luke’s name. other campers kept asking about where their favorite counselor had gone, until they started growing weary of you.

because if golden boy luke was evil, what were the odds that his hot-headed, impertinent girlfriend was, too?

luke left you there, looking like an absolute fool for believing in him, trusting him, loving him.

you couldn’t unsee his blood on your hands. you might as well have been lady macbeth, desperately scrubbing out stains that would never leave.

vi. he was a vice you could never shake

calling all riot grrrls and punk rockers — this show is for YOU!!! come see the SIRENS OF NEW YORK perform THIS friday at joan’s bar ;)

the flyer was an obnoxiously vibrant shade of red and plastered throughout the neighborhood, and it did a good job. one of queens’ best dive bars was packed with people waiting to see the band perform: stella yamada on guitar, mohini banjaree on bass, sally mcknight on vocals — and you on drums.

it was nice and still a bit new, this relatively normal existence with relatively normal people.

you couldn’t cut off the demigod side of your life completely. there was still a war brewing, and you were in regular enough contact with camp.

but, you’d been away for a few years, trying to live the life of a non-halfblood in their early 20s. you had an apartment, a cat and a nice enough roommate. you were in school and working as a bartender to pay for rent and tuition. you had friends who, for lack of a better term, were normal. people who worried about paying off student loans and finding their passion in life, whether it be law school or feminist prose or angry girl music of the indie-rock persuasion. people who spent their time in classrooms or tattoo parlors or their friends’ bathrooms at 2am while bleaching their hair after a bad breakup.

sometimes though, usually late at night when you couldn’t sleep, you had to admit to yourself that you missed your old life.

you missed home. you missed playing capture the flag and training in the arena and having breakfast in the dining pavilion. you missed your friends, the ones you’d grown up with.

you missed —

no. you tried not to let your mind wander towards him, or the consequences of what he did. you both drew blood the afternoon he confessed his sins to you, but he was the one who twisted the knife. he was the reason you couldn’t stand your life as a half-blood anymore.

you just tried to focus on the mortal, mundane things that now composed your everyday life, like the stage you would be performing on in 30 seconds.

before every show, your bandmates went through different degrees of anxiety. you didn’t get stage fright like them. they called you fearless, but the reality was that you had just gone up against much worse.

and yet, that night, you almost froze mid-set, just as you started a cover of the joan jett’s “you don’t know what you’ve got.”

ironically, luke had gotten you a cd of this album for your 15th birthday.

i was caught so unaware, when you made other plans.

think of the devil, and he shall appear.

it couldn’t have been him there, though. last time you heard of him, luke was growing kronos' army somewhere on the west coast.

you pushed through, even though your concentration was shaken.

i can’t stand to hear your name

you had to shake off the feeling of him watching you.

it was just that — a bad feeling, right?

you missed another beat, and mo turned around to give a concerned yet frustrated frown. joan had hinted that there might have been an agent in the audience, and you couldn’t afford to mess up.

oh baby, you really blew it.

the song ended, and your blood ran cold.

it had to be a trick of the light, seeing luke in the crowd, but just the thought of being in the same space again made it impossible to be up on that stage, so exposed.

as the band was getting ready for the next song, you slipped away, out the back door and into the alley for some fresh air. with shaky hands, you brought a cigarette between your lips and pulled out your lighter. it was a terrible habit, you knew.

those were always the ones hardest to quit and you needed a vice to keep you grounded.

so there you found yourself, shivering in your black tank top, just cropped enough that the fishnets you wore underneath red leather pants were slightly visible. the bricks were cool against your back and you exhaled into the soft evening twilight when you realized it hadn’t been a trick of the light.

“you look like buffy the vampire slayer.”

you rolled your eyes, because of course luke would do that. you were on opposite sides of an impending war between gods and titans, a world-ending conflict that luke directly enabled, and he led with a light-hearted comment like you were still the best of friends.

as if you hadn’t been on the receiving ends of each other’s blades ever since luke revealed himself to be a traitor.

“give me one reason why i shouldn’t kill you right now. ”

“because i’m alone.”

“you could still be here to kill me,” you reasoned. “or at least try.”

after everything, you wouldn’t put it past him. you known him to do a lot worse, all to people he claimed to, in a past life, care about.

luke tried again.

“because you always liked a fair fight. i came alone and unarmed.”

you scoffed, dropped your half-finished cigarette to the ground, and snuffed it out with the toe of your chunky patent boot before walking over to stand in front of luke. he put his hands up in surrender as you approached him.

“if you’re not here to fight, then why are you here?” you demanded, fingers brushing against the switchblade in your pocket. you always kept a celestial bronze weapon on you in case you came across any monsters in the city. you looked at the one in front of you, and wished you had brought a bigger knife.

“i just….i wanted — needed to see you.”

your eyes grazed luke carefully.

he looked rough. deep shadows under his eyes, hair disheveled and partially matted down, shirt wrinkled like he’d been on the run for days. his hands caked with blood and dirt, his face, too. a nasty bruise on his elbow, and what looked like another one disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt.

you bit down the urge to care. you had to remind yourself that luke was dangerous, cruel, and heartless. you couldn’t stand to look at him for one more second, at least not without biting his head off, or at the very least the cut on his lip.

“no. you don’t get to just —”

the door slammed open, echoed throughout the alley. stella poked her head out, guitar still strapped to her shoulder. from inside, you could hear the crowd cheering.

“jesus christ, y/n! where have you been?”

“sorry, stel. i needed a smoke break and then i ran into a — ” your voice caught on the word friend. “luke.”

his name left a poisonous taste in your mouth, and you swallowed its bitterness.

she saw luke then, who gave her that charming smile of his you hadn’t seen in forever. he extended a hand towards her, but stella just scowled at him and turned back to you.

“are you coming to finish the show?” stella demanded.

“i need to deal with this,” you told her. “i’m sor—”

stella huffed and slithered back inside before you could finish apologizing.

“great,” you laughed cynically. “now one of my best friends is pissed at me, and i might get kicked out of the band. my luck just gets worse every time you force yourself back into my life, castellan.”

you weren’t quite sure how to make of the way he looked at you — maybe apologetic, possibly desperately, definitely some sort of disguise.

“i know….i fucked up, karma.”

you glared at the use of his old nickname for you, feeling a shudder run down your spine.

“yeah, you fucked up. and now everyone, the whole world, is suffering the consequences. me, annabeth, your mom —”

“please,” luke begged once more, voice shaking now. “if you ever loved me —”

“don’t.” you barked. “if you ever loved me, you’d accept that the next time we see each other, it’ll be fighting on a battlefield. until one of us is on the ground, bleeding out, or never again.”

luke stared at you. you glared back at him.

“sorry i’m late, lukey. did i miss much?” a sickly sweet voice cut through the tension.

you turned and saw a cheerleader. she looked relatively normal, but the mismatched legs — one bronze, another furry — along with the red eyes and fangs gave her away.

“you said you were alone,” you pointed out, tilting your head towards the monster. “looks like you brought company.”

“i didn’t,” luke insisted. “kelli’s been hunting me down.”

kelli pouted. “i thought we were playing hide and seek. but it’s over now — i win. please don’t be mad, baby.”

baby. you could have laughed.

“i guess you moved on, castellan.” you meant your words to come across as mocking, so you hoped luke couldn’t sense the resentment behind them.

kelli giggled, and you thought your ears might bleed.

“he sure did,” she cooed and moved closer to luke, running a long red fingernail down his chest. he pushed her away abruptly, and kelli pouted once more. “we miss you, luke. i miss you. please come back home with me.”

“that’s not my home.”

out of everything luke had said, those were the words that got through to you. you glanced at him once more — his hands curled into fists, jaw clenched, and eyes locked on yours, panicking and pleading at the same time.

you had to give in to those pleading, panicked brown eyes.

luke didn’t have any weapons on him. all you had was a tiny pocket knife and some combat skills you’d been maintaining through kickboxing classes with your roommate, but you were willing to put them to good use.

you stepped in front of luke.

“listen — kelli, was it?” the empousa growled at you. “call me sentimental, but i can’t let you take him.”

kelli gave you a snarl, and you whipped out your switchblade. admittedly, it looked a little pathetic compared to her deadly fangs and sharp claws.

“aw, cute!” she mocked, and then pushed you backwards.

you expected to tumble into luke, but he had disappeared. seemed like you did make the wrong choice, to trust luke again.

again — the worst, most sinister habits were the hardest ones to break.

it briefly crossed your mind to chase him down after this for leading you into a trap. for now, you had a shapeshifting cheerleader to take care of.

you managed to side-step kelli’s next attack, and sliced across her arm in the process. she shrieked. her hair bursted into flames, as if your day could get any worse. you tried to get another jab in, but kelli managed to be quicker this time. she punched you in the jaw, then kicked you, hard, with a hoofed foot, causing a dull crack to your ribcage upon impact. the kick sent you spinning towards the brick wall; it stopped you from falling, but knocked the air out of your lungs. you spat, your mouth thick with the taste of blood. your ears were ringing, and you couldn’t locate your knife.

you were definitely out of practice.

“kelli!”

you both turned your attention towards luke, standing at the entrance of the alley with his sword in hand.

“luke!” kelli said like he was her long lost lover. she batted her eyelashes at him, the murderous grin she had given you melting away to something more enticing. “you came to help me finish her off.”

luke tilted his head. “not exactly.”

luke threw the sword towards you. despite a split second of surprise, you caught it; made a sharp diagonal cut. before kelli knew it, she was reduced to nothing but dust.

you dropped luke’s sword and fell to the pavement, adrenaline coursed through your veins from the first near-death experience you’d had in months. even with your body bruised and broken, fighting was a thrill like no other.

luke came to kneel in front of you, sneakers crunching over the ashes of his ex-girlfriend.

“you said you were unarmed.” your voice sounded muffled. you spat out another mouthful of blood.

“half-bloods are walking monster bait. i’d be an idiot if i didn’t have any celestial bronze on me.”

to emphasize his point, luke tucked your switchblade carefully back into your pocket. he moved his hand to the hem of your shirt. it was your instinct to keep him from lifting it up, and he stopped when he noticed your hesitation.

“i’m just trying to see how bad it is,” he informed. his lips then formed a bemused grin. “besides, i’ve already seen everything.”

“shut up,” but you smiled weakly even if it made your cheek hurt.

the skin where kelli had kicked you was turning an alarming shade of purple. luke tried to touch it, but you let out a sharp breath when pain emanated across your ribcage, and he recoiled.

“okay, we need to get you —”

“i’m fine,” you groaned. you struggled to stand up, but you urged yourself to walk away. in your mind, the scales were already balanced.

the moral, logical side of you was in danger of yielding to the wicked desire you always tried to suppress — to be with luke, even once more, just like old times. your quest for vengeance could only be stopped by your hunger for something more, and you needed distance from him before you gave in too much.

“i don’t need your help,” you insisted. “i protected you from kelli, and you gave me the sword that saved my life. we’re even.”

you started to limp away, but luke grabbed your side before you could get too far. you yelped at the contact.

“sorry,” he winced. “just — let me at least get you to a hospital.”

“what do i look like, a rockefeller?” you scoffed, and then grimaced when it felt like a giant was crushing you from the inside out. “i can’t afford that. i have some emergency nectar and ambrosia at my place, anyways.”

“let me at least get you back there, then. please.” he grabbed your hand. “i owe you.”

looking into those deep brown eyes, something in your stomach snapped.

bad habits were always the hardest to break.

“fine,” you coughed. “but one wrong move, and i swear: i’ll go full vampire slayer and pierce a wooden stake through your heart.”

luke nodded once, lips curling into a smile. “seems fair.”

you groaned as luke wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you steady, his hold terribly familiar as he carried you back home.

(vii. he loved you — and you weren’t sure if that was a fact or a weapon)

your apartment was only a few blocks away. luke must have gotten stronger, because he was able to carry you up the fire escape to avoid too much attention.

“i’m not sure if my roommate is home,” you whispered as luke set you down on the carpet by your bed. “so we should try and be quiet.”

you told him where you kept the supplies. he snuck away and emerged from the bathroom a minute later with clean hands and a first-aid kit.

luke knelt down in front of you.

“can i take your shirt off?”

you nodded, trying to keep your eyes from fluttering closed. you were so bloodied up, more so than you initially let on, so you let luke do whatever he needed to do. he took off your shirt, assessed your injury and apologized when the pressure from his fingers made you wince. he wiped the blood off your lips and coaxed your mouth open to feed you some ambrosia, offer you a sip of nectar.

there was no doubt about it: luke was taking care of you.

at first, you imagined your bones stitching themselves back together, and maybe some pieces of your heart, too.

what were the odds that he was manipulating you, though? certainly not zero.

and then you noticed something when he reached over to place the canteen of nectar back with the kit. he was moving slowly, his breathing shallow and fresh blood seeping through his shirt.

“wait. what happened?”

“nothing,” he winced. luke was always good at hiding his pain.

“luke.”

“it was a few days ago. a hellhound bit me when i was trying to escape from….”

kronos’ army. he didn’t need to say it for either of you to remember.

wordlessly, you switched your positions, led him to prop himself up on the bed frame while you crouched in front of him.

“can i take this off?”

luke nodded.

the first thing you noticed was that his muscles were more defined, yet his body was more beat-up than you'd ever seen it. there was a pretty nasty bruise on his shoulder. your eyes traveled down to the bitemark at his hip, and the haphazard stitching job luke must have done to himself. it looked like it could be infected, and with the activity from today, it was no wonder the wound reopened.

like he had done to you just seconds before, you took care of him.

“so…how are our friends?” he exhaled as you ran a cloth over his skin to clean off some of the blood.

our friends. it didn’t feel right that luke could still call them that.

“i’m guessing you know what happened to chris….” luke grimaced, and you hoped he felt a little guilty at sending one of his best friends into a madness-inducing labyrinth. “clarisse and lena broke up, and neither of them will tell me why. beck is doing fine, always coming up with stuff in the forges. i guess that’s as good as anyone can be now, inventing new weapons for a war none of us wanted.”

you couldn’t help but add that last part.

“and the kids?” luke asked as though you were divorce parents and he lost the custody battle.

you looked up at the gray streak in luke’s own hair, remembering that he had manipulated annabeth and percy to hold the weight of the world, a burden that they couldn’t seem to shake.

it made you more than a little uneasy, luke showing any sense of caring for the people he seemed to leave behind and hurt so easily. you wished he hadn’t been so tender and attentive, like all the fighting and animosity had been a bad dream.

luke just had to make everything so complicated.

“they’re fine, all things considered.”

you didn’t offer anything more, anything less.

he was quiet for a moment.

“you seem to be doing alright, though?”

you ignored the question completely that time, focusing on getting the job done. you gave luke some ambrosia and nectar, watched as the infection magically disappeared. the wound didn’t completely heal, and there were many bruises that lingered. you were about to give luke some more when he shook his head.

"you should save the rest for emergencies," he suggested, chin jutting towards your diminishing supplies. "in case something happens."

"is that a threat, castellan?" you asked, only half-joking.

"no." luke reached out to touch your face, perhaps a move to reassure you, but then he redirected himself. "besides, i'll be fine. just need to cover it with some gauze."

"you should take a shower before, then. i'll see what we have to eat."

you helped him up, and sent luke into the bathroom. you changed into clean clothes before going to look for some food.

the ambrosia and nectar made your body feel more powerful than it had in days, even before getting kicked around by a demon cheerleader. no wonder the gods felt invincible, if that was their diet. meanwhile, all you had in your kitchen was a half-empty box of cinnamon poptarts and packets of instant coffee.

you could hear your roommate singing from behind her closed door. you were quiet in toasting the breakfast pastries, and then slithered back into your room to look for something that would fit luke.

luke didn't hear you knock, so you just entered and closed the door behind you gently. on the bathroom counter, you set a pair of sweatpants that an ex had left behind, along with an oversized shirt of yours. before you could leave, there was a knock on the door. luke heard this one, and poked his head from behind the shower curtain. you gestured at him that you’d take care of it. he nodded, and closed the curtain again.

"yeah?"

"do you have any tampons in there?" your roommate's voice was muffled through the door.

"yeah," you replied. "i'll be out in a minute."

"do you mind if i just come in now? i'm bleeding out, out here."

you were about to protest, but the doorknob started to turn, and you panicked. you slipped behind the shower curtain with luke, who looked at you wide-eyed. you placed your hand over his mouth before he could say anything.

you were lucky earlier, that stella's mind was so preoccupied she didn't notice how beat-up luke was. you didn't want to take another chance. you didn't need your roommate asking questions.

once the sounds of shuffling through cupboards stopped, and you heard a small thank you followed by the door closing, luke bit your palm.

"ow!" you hissed, pulling away from him.

"she's gone,” luke shrugged. “you don't need to muzzle me anymore.”

you rolled your eyes. “i put some clothes out for you, and a clean towel.”

luke caught your wrist before you could leave.

“wait. my shoulder is killing me. do you mind…would you maybe help me….”

his question trailed off, and you furrowed your brow when he pointed the shampoo bottle in your direction.

“you practically carried me down 3 blocks and up 4 flights of stairs, but you’re too hurt to wash your own hair?”

“i guess the pain just caught up with me.” his cheeks flushed and he cleared his throat. “sorry, i shouldn’t have —”

something pinched in your chest, hearing him stumble for forgiveness, even if it was so mundane. you caught yourself saying:

“i’ll do it.”

before you could decide if it was a bad idea or not. you got rid of your shorts and tied your shirt up around your waist to prevent the clothes from getting too wet. luke blushed even more at your panties and exposed stomach, as if he wasn’t fully naked — which you were, of course, trying to ignore.

neither of you said anything as you focused on the task at hand, massaging shampoo and then conditioner into luke’s curls until they were rid of the grime trapped within. all you heard were luke’s soft sighs as your fingers scraped across his scalp and steady stream of water hitting the bathroom tiles. luke seemed so relaxed that his eyelids fluttered closed, and he almost toppled over. with your own sudsy hands, you brought his hands to sit at your waist, steadying him.

the space was a little foggy, slightly too warm. you and luke had been intimate before, but never like this. it was almost enough to make you forget.

once all the soap was washed away, you brushed your fingers over the scar on his face, down to the sword tattooed along his collarbone, before you realized what you were doing.

“sorry,” you whispered, pulling your hand away.

“it’s okay,” he hummed, and he moved his hand up to brush against the very same tattoo you had on your sternum, touch burning through a layer of cotton.

you wanted his hands elsewhere — around your neck, between your legs.

the water was running cold by then, and it jolted you back to reality.

you had to keep your desires in check. luke was manipulative and cruel and ruthless — you were enemies, not friends or lovers. you weren’t supposed to want him carnally.

you reached behind him to turn the shower off without another word, and left the bathroom so he could get dressed.

neither of you were armed, but the situation was dangerous. you were barely healing from the claw marks luke left on your life and yet….

part of you wanted him to dig his fingers back into those wounds — to feel him again, even if it bled you dry in the end.

luke’s sword, backbiter, leaned against your windowsill, a menacing reminder of who he had aligned himself with. luke was essentially kronos’ right hand man. he was your enemy.

what were you doing, bringing him into your home, taking care of him and letting him do the same to you?

leaving yourself vulnerable to him, letting your guard down?

now that you thought of it, if his guard was down, you could probably grab your own knife and just —

you heard luke clear his throat and you turned to see him standing in your doorway, shirtless and sweatpants hanging low. it was embarrassing how much you wanted to lap up the drop of water traveling down his chest.

luke must have noticed, so cleared his throat again. your body felt warm all over when you met his gaze, and he gave you an annoyingly confident smirk.

“so, here’s the thing. i’m pretty sure you’re either thinking about wanting to kill me, or wanting to fuck me.”

you rolled your eyes at his arrogance, but couldn’t help but play along.

“sounds like you’ve accepted your fate either way.”

“well, i do have a preference,” he quipped. “i just don’t particularly care as long as it's in your hands.”

it didn’t get past you that luke was checking you out, too, eye trailing over the exposed skin of your legs and lingering on where the t-shirt hugged your chest.

how bad would it be to, for one night, indulge? no concern about what was right or wrong, about titans or gods; no worries about what a prophecy foretold or which side of a war you’re on.

just you and luke: giving into your own twisted desires, and dealing with the consequences later.

another droplet trickled down luke’s torso. it disappeared underneath the band of his sweatpants, and you just couldn’t take it anymore.

you strode over to him, about to crash your lips into his when —

luke stopped you with a hand wrapped around your neck.

“no kissing,” he warned.

“what’s the matter?” you smirked. “i thought you liked it when i bite. worried that you’ll turn away from the dark side if i do?”

luke swallowed thickly.

you were taunting him, relishing in how his breath caught in his throat and gaze seemed fixed on your lips.

it was cute, how luke tried to hold onto some semblance of control, but couldn’t hide the slight tremble in his voice.

“no kissing. that’s my only condition.”

“okay.” you took off your shirt, positioned yourself on the bed to punctuate your point. “as long as you’re fine sleeping with the enemy, castellan.”

luke stared for a few seconds before accepting his fate.

he caged you in with his arms, settling his hips between your legs. his lips traveled down your tattooed sternum, nipping and sucking and re-bruising your skin until he reached the waistband of your panties. luke pulled it up with his teeth, the elastic snapping back when he let go. you whined his name and he looked up at you with dark eyes.

“can i?” his breath fanned over your navel, his nails digging into your hips as he waited for your answer.

“yes. please.”

you hadn’t meant to sound so desperate, but you could feel luke smirk against your inner thigh before sinking his teeth into it. you whimpered, and luke salved his tongue over the area to ease the sting before removing your underwear. he positioned your legs over his shoulder for better access to where you needed him most.

luke manipulated his tongue and fingers in all the ways he knew ruined you. in return, you gripped his black curls, tightly, and uttered praise in all the ways you knew ruined him.

“just like that, pretty boy,” you encouraged, practically melting into the mattress. it felt so good — dangerously good — to be devoured by luke. “keep doing a good job and i’ll return the favor later.”

luke’s moan vibrated throughout your body and he became harsher, bringing you over the edge. he left a few more bites on your body on his way up to meet you and when he did, luke’s lips and chin were still shining with your release.

you leaned forward slightly to lick it up. you ghosted your mouth over his, and luke groaned when you pulled away.

“no kissing,” you mocked and ran your thumb over his tattooed collarbone.

luke tightened his grip on your hips, surely leaving bruises for later. his eyes feral, his curls a terrible mess, when he grumbled:

“you’re such a —”

you twisted your calf around luke’s leg and you flipped your positions before he could finish his sentence. he grunted as his back hit the mattress.

“don’t worry, sweetheart. i’ll still take care of you,” you drawled, starting to trail your tongue down luke’s body, occasionally incorporating your teeth or sucking brutally, imprinting a constellation of bites and bruises. his skin smelled like your pomegranate mango body wash, and it was more than a little intoxicating.

you weren’t soft or gentle, because you knew how luke liked you — rough, raw, a little ruthless. luke once told you that the wounds you left on his body weren’t the type that left him bitter; they were the type of wounds he wished would never heal.

in a moment of weakness, you left a kiss — just one — on the semi-healed wound on his hip. luke sighed at the gesture and reached a hand down to gently brush his fingers against your cheek.

“i missed you so much, karma,” luke almost sobbed.

slightly shaken out of your lust, you weren’t sure whether to smirk at the hold you had on him, or sob at the reality that you missed him too.

sensing your hesitation, luke removed his hand and told you to continue.

you made quick work of luke’s sweatpants. luke, already hard and throbbing, didn’t last long with your lips wrapped around him. you swallowed him whole, and then some.

“always such a good girl for me,” luke praised when you were face to face with him once more. his thumb swiped over your wet lips to gather what you missed. you granted him access to push into your mouth, and luke groaned when you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked his thumb clean. your teeth scraped the skin on his way out.

what followed was a brief squabble over who should be on top. you won out.

there you were, luke sitting up against the headboard, you on his lap with his length nestled in your cunt. you scraped your nails down luke’s chest, and then curled your hands around the base of his neck. he gripped either side of your waist, thumbs pressing circles into your back encouragingly. luke looked up at you in awe, desperate sighs leaving his mouth as you rutted your hips against his. it felt sinful and wonderful, feeling luke buried deep inside you again, stretching you deliciously. the two of you exchanging animalistic grunts as you used the other's body, chased your high.

when you rolled your hips into his at just the right angle, luke’s moans turned into whines.

“fuck it. please — kiss me.”

you stilled your hips, and luke whined some more. “are you sure?” you asked, breathing heavily.

luke nodded and gently moved you to lay on your back with him hovering over you. he leaned close, nudging the tip of his nose against yours.

“please,” luke pleaded once more.

his brown eyes looked down at you with such hunger and passion, something deep within you ached.

you kissed each other harshly, then. you still tasted him on your tongue and yourself on his. his sharp nose cut into your cheek, mouth attacking yours and vice versa. your nails pierced the skin of his shoulder as he resumed thrusting into you at a vicious pace. luke kept gnawing on your bottom lip until he made you bleed. you groaned, and he slipped his tongue back into your mouth to savor your coppery taste.

yes, luke could also be rough and raw and a little ruthless — which you always loved. but you knew, regardless, you were safe with him in that moment. all he wanted was for you to feel good.

you yanked his curls to force luke to look at you. he whimpered at having to detach himself from your lips.

“i missed you too, tiger,” you finally admitted, calling him that old affectionate nickname you promised yourself you would never use again. “i missed you so fucking much.”

luke gave you that troublesome smile of his. you connected your lips once more. you wrapped your legs around his waist to bring him impossibly closer, and luke wrapped an arm around your back to do the same.

it wasn’t long until you both reached your peak, collapsing back onto the soft mattress, chests heaving. you each lied down on your side, facing each other. you admired luke’s mess of curls, his swollen-kiss-bitten lips, the rose-petal bruises you had left.

you wished the post-sex haze lasted longer, but then luke had to disturb it by saying:

“what you said earlier — i never think of you as my enemy, you know.”

you sighed and covered your face with your hand. “luke —”

“never,” luke insisted. he inched closer, took your hand in his and held it to his chest.

you were overwhelmed by his heartbeat, strong and fast, so you pulled yourself away.

“we’re fighting on different sides,” you pointed out.

you could’ve said more, but all the things that have been said and done already hung heavy in the air, reoccupying the space between you and bursting your brief moment of peace.

“but we’ve always been fighting for the same thing.”

maybe that was true.

in theory, you weren’t against overthrowing the gods. but you couldn't reconcile with everything luke had done, what he was willing to do. you couldn't let your friends and thousands of innocent people die in the name of divine beings who valued power and control over all else. you couldn't hurt or betray people you loved for the sake of revenge. you couldn't turn that love against them, the way luke had, in search of justice.

deep down, you knew it wasn’t right to have him there in bed with you. if it was so wicked, sinful, treacherous — then why did you want him to stay?

“i’m not sure they have a word for what we are,” you concede, returning to the conversation moments ago.

"i guess not."

you let luke bring you into his arms that time. you rested your head against his chest. his heartbeat still steady, but a little slower. you idly traced your fingers across the marks you left on him, and you avoided the ones you didn't.

"how's your shoulder?"

"it's okay," luke sighed. he lifted your chin between his thumb and forefinger. "whatever we are: i love you."

those weren’t the words that were meant to make you sick, but your stomach churned — with nausea or desire, you weren’t sure.

you moved to straddle his hips. your eyes glanced over a scar you didn't register until now. the cut you had sliced across his cheek that afternoon he tried to kill percy, and then ran away from camp. you had a similar one that he had given you during that same struggle.

matching tattoos, matching scars. there really was no word for what you and luke were to each other.

"i love you too.”

at some point throughout the night, with luke’s strong arms wrapped around you and your legs intertwined beneath tangled sheets, it occurred to you that luke must have tracked you down for a particular reason.

maybe he was here to convince you to join kronos' army, to help him overthrow the gods and burn the world as you knew it; maybe he was here to break your heart all over again, just for the sick thrill of it; maybe he did just want to have one more night together, enemies or otherwise. maybe, maybe, maybe.

luke’s soft snores lulled you to sleep, and you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the scales of justice.

you'd figure it out in the morning. then you'd decide whether or not he deserved a blade to the heart.

#i haven't seen the finale but from the gifs my heart is already broken #and here i am breaking it more <3 #luke castellan angst #luke castellan smut #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan #luke castellan x you #luke castellan x fem!reader #saf writes #Spotify #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo show #pjo fanfic #pjo series

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too-deviant · 3 months

Note

idk if you’d be comfortable writing this but I was wondering if you could whip up an Aphrodite!reader who’s fed up with her beauty. She stops attending school and stays the full term at camp which makes Luke confused. So she tells him about how random dudes would hit on her and be creepy at her school or something. She’d prolly join him with Kronos bc she wants to feel respected for once. Would be such an angsty but filled with femme rage although totally cool if you choose not to write this~ Just wanted to share it with someone 💛

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Aphrodite!Reader

Summary: Maybe you didn't want to be beautiful anymore.

Content: pretty angsty, brief mentions of male harassment but nothing explicit or triggering, again sorry for the wait i had w block pls forgive me. also not proofread sorry yall its been a rough week.

You were only faintly aware of the noise around you.

The chatter of the city was a mere buzz in the back of your head as you marched down the street. It amazed you, really, just how unbelievably dickish mortal boys could be. This one in particular; Mike Schwartz, a five foot something jock who sat on the bench at every game. He’d been a bother in your life since you started high school. Back then, you took the endless prospects as a compliment – you truly were your mother’s daughter. It was a boost to your weak teenage confidence.

But as the years went by, the constant asking for your hand became an irritant. Especially when they couldn’t get the hint – at fourteen, turning down guys felt amazing, but when those same guys kept coming back for more, it made your eye twitch. Couldn’t they take the first no, tuck their tail between their legs and fuck off?

Apparently not.

After four years of putting up with it, you were done. Storming out of the cafeteria, grabbing all your things, hailing a cab and getting the hell outta dodge. Maybe you should’ve stopped to think — called your dad, taken a few deep breaths. But the harder you thought about it, after trying not to for so many years, you came to the conclusion that you would’ve ended up here anyway.

Here being the peak of HalfBlood Hill in the middle of September. It was only slightly unusual, because when you usually arrive at the start of summer you get to watch the crowds of arrivals setting up shop at camp. Now, however, it was fairly desolate. Less people, you knew.

It was also a split second shock when you stepped across the border and felt the drastic change in weather. From the cool breeze of the autumn air to the warm summery spring that camp was in year-round. A shift that made you pause, but you kept on down the hill anyway.

Chiron was waiting for you on the porch of the Big House, and without so much as a word, gestured for you to follow him inside. He was fairly understanding of your situation, but made you Iris Message your dad and tell him of your decision. He, too, was more glad you were safe than angry you ran off.

“We can talk about this when you feel like talking.” He’d said.

So you’d done it. Finally, you’d gotten yourself away from the hey hot stuffs and the you seeing anyone baby?s. You were back at camp, you were where you were most happy.

But you weren’t happy.

Being a year-rounder, you’d discovered, was a lot less busy than being a summer camper. You got more days off, longer breaks between activities. You found yourself spending more time in your own company; something you never really got to do before. Most of the time you were with your siblings, or your mortal friends, or you were being hounded by some frat boy and their friends.

It took a minute to get used to the loneliness, but you did. You explored camp, found places you hadn’t seen before. A cute clearing near a stream on the east side of the forest, or a Satyr sanctuary on the far end of the beach. You read more books, you trained a little harder, you perfected six new hairstyles on your little sister Elena and Annabeth from the Athena Cabin.

And yet, you were still pissed off.

“Why?”

Luke Castellan was a name everyone knew in this little corner of Long Island. One of the oldest campers, head counsellor of the rowdiest cabin, token tour guide for the new kids. Oh, and the best swordsman camp had seen in, like, three centuries. He was cute, that much you’d heard all around your cabin. But you’d never really held a solid conversation with him until you became a year-rounder. The fewer people around, the more you run into him.

You’d been practising a few neat tricks with a dagger when he spotted you. Said he was there to train himself for once and that you wouldn’t even notice he was there. You did, though. Especially when he took his shirt off twenty minutes in.

You shared a water break, he asked you why you’d transferred to being a year rounder, and you indulge him in the story. He was super nice about it too, which made you angry. Was Luke the only nice guy on the planet?

“But at least you’re happier now, right?” He’d said. You weren’t, you told him that much. He gave you this knowing look you’d never seen on him before, and asked Why?

You shrugged, “I don’t know. I love it here, I do. But I shouldn’t have to uproot my entire life and bring it here just to get some semblance of peace. I shouldn’t have to give up my education, my friends, my dad, just so I don’t have to get harassed every day. It’s not even like my mom gave me anything to help combat it, either. She just made me beautiful and told me to deal with the consequences! I mean,” You let out a weak chuckle, holding up the dagger you’d been toying with, “This was a birthday present from a friend in Cabin Six. Not even my mother, who is a warrior herself, could bother sending me a weapon. They really don’t give two shits about us, do they?”

He’d parted his lips, eyes shining with something, and looked at you through his bottom lashes, “No. They don’t.”

You and Luke grew closer after that. A lot closer. By the time summer rolled around and the rest of the campers returned, you were inseparable. Many rumours spread but you two ignored them in favour of sneaking into that clearing you’d found and talking in whispers about your hatred for the gods. Who cared if they could hear you? Let them.

It was Luke who had come up with the idea to steal the bolt. A quick job, in and out, and maybe then they’d listen to what you’d have to say. But they didn’t — they did exactly what they always did and risked the lives of two young demigods and a satyr just because they couldn’t be bothered doing it themselves. Selfish — that’s what they were. They didn’t care about anyone —

“ — but themselves!” You glared at Thalia, who stood before you atop Mount Tamalpais with her spear in your direction. “I mean, look at your dad. He didn’t care enough to stop the monsters from killing you, oh, but it’s okay because he turned you into a damn tree!”

“This isn’t the way!” Annabeth yelled from afar. Her hair was twisted in a style you’d taught her how to do that first year as a year-rounder. It broke your heart that she couldn’t see how right you and Luke were.

“Curse them, Thalia.” You said plainly, holding up your dagger. Half mortal metal, half celestial bronze. A gift from Luke. “Curse your father and his children. His brothers. Curse them all like they deserve to be cursed! They deserve to be toppled.”

You tilted your head, looking at them all. Luke and your army were heading steadily up the mountain. If you could convince them now, there wouldn’t need to be a battle.

“Where are they now, huh?” You raised both your arms, “You’re fighting for your life against a titan on a mountain and the only god who came to help out was Artemis? And that’s just because she was here already.” You scoffed out a laugh, “You should thank us, really, for taking her. Had we not, you’d be dead already.”

Annabeth watched. You were unrecognisable in that moment — your face streaked with dirt and blood, curled into a dark sneer that any of your siblings would berate you for because of the wrinkles you’d get. You didn’t seem to care all that much, though. Not when Thalia was lunging for you and attempting to pull you out of the rage you were in. Not when her spear and shield were no match for your measly dagger and you went toppling down the mountain.

The next time any of them saw you was in Manhattan — after believing you to be dead for a year and a half, it came as a shock when you emerged from the crowd of monsters. Your hair was hacked short, and one of your legs had been replaced with a bronze prosthetic. You fought with a ruthlessness none of them had seen in you before, whether it be because you were on the losing side or because Luke had given his body to the Lord of Time before you had the chance to tell him you loved him. You were still angry, and even if you hated Kronos, you didn’t hate him nearly as much as you hated the gods.

When Luke died, you were kneeled beside him. Your face was dirty, your hair was knotty, and there was a dent in your bronze leg. He lifted a hand to your face, “I’m sorry to have to say this, but…you’re sorta beautiful.”

“Sorta?”

He grinned, and then he died, and you were filled with such unbridled rage that you pushed yourself down to the ground of Manhattan and tore through Kronos’ army with fire in your eyes, not stopping until Apollo got rid of your sight and forced you to calm down. You didn’t know if you’d ever be calm, since the only person who ever understood you just died in your arms, but you dropped your dagger and stomped your way back up to Olympus like a bratty child anyway.

Zeus didn’t punish you for what you did, but he did say he’d be keeping a firm eye on you. You joined the hunters, much to your mothers disdain, and didn’t ever allow yourself to look back.

#@lia’s works #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians

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ronwestbreeze · 6 months

Text

bow to me

pairing: geto suguru x non-sorcerer!reader warnings: gore and violence, use of the word "monkey" lol summary: you're your mother's deadliest sin word count: 5.1k author's note: i had fun with this one, hehe. hope you guys like it <3

part 1 | read on AO3

You weren’t a cursed spirit.

Or maybe you were, you weren’t necessarily well-versed in the world of curses and sorcerers. You just knew them by name.

You weren’t human.

Well, maybe you were, just a different kind. Cursed.

Yeah.

Maybe you were cursed.

There was an eerie quiet now. Your mind had never been so quiet. Not in a long time.

It was a rarity. This silence.

You decided that this was what peace felt like and that you weren’t going to let it go. You weren’t going to deny yourself any longer.

In the end, it was pathetically funny. Pretending to be normal whenever you never were. From birth, you had always been like this. So, you leaned back in the chair, your arm covering your face, and laughed.

And laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

It was hilarious.

The bodies lying at your feet were quiet as stone. But you figured they’d laugh too if they were alive.

Once your laughter went to giggles, you peeked over your arm and stared up at the ceiling fan.

“You’re your mother’s deadliest sin.” You sang to yourself. At least that’s what your father always said.

“She’s saved!”

Applause.

You dropped your face into your hands and shivered. Bile coated your throat, tightened with such conviction. But none of it was from the stench of the bodies around you. It wasn’t the taste of flesh on your tongue.

Tears spilled out of your eyes uncontrolled.

You laughed. You cried. You couldn’t really tell anymore.

“You won’t have to suffer anymore.”

Applause.

What the hell were they clapping for?

You opened your eyes, staring straight at one of the bodies lying down in front of you. Lifeless eyes that were once pleading for mercy, staring back at you. And for an instant, that little voice—the you a year ago, still trying to be human, still trying to live life as a regular sixteen-year-old—whimpered.

What am I doing?

You were cursed.

No, no, no, I promised I would. I promised!

Your father saw you as a blessing.

What am I doing? This isn’t me. This isn’t—

And your mother died for it.

“Now you can rest, my sweet girl.”

Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop.

Your breathing was shaky. But your body gave in multiple times. You sat up straighter, taking in all the bodies in the small living room.

Perhaps, you went a little far this time.

Then again, you’ve been hungry for a long time now.

“Do you have any more rice balls?”

You remembered their little faces so vividly. The only memory you allowed to snake its way through your mind while pushing everything else back into the tight box. So detailed. Precious. Undeserving of this world.

You failed them. You should’ve fought harder and killed the townspeople yourself.

Unfortunately, someone had beaten you to it.

2007

It’s been a pretty hellish day.

Granted, it might’ve been partially your fault.

You had gone on another binge but made sure to keep the bodies to a minimum of five this time around. But you supposed that was still too much because it drew some unwanted attention.

Usually, you kept to yourself at an abandoned hospital south of Tokyo. That was where you fed and left the bodies to rot. No one questioned it since many locals tended to stay away from the hospital. Something about it being haunted.

The haunted part was also, technically your fault but that’s beside the point.

Earlier in the day, it was pretty regular. You had a new job working at a café which gave you a lot of access to coffee in case you got a little squirmy around people, especially flesh. And the job had been pretty steady, you’ve been in the city for about half a year now. And it’s been pretty simple.

You’ve somewhat learned to control your hunger, choosing certain days to feed. Choosing the type of people to feed from, such as perverted men or just men in general whenever you felt extra pissed that day. Rarely did you go after women unless you were really, really hungry.

Children were off limits.

Sorcerers were a rarity. And all the more fun.

So what you expected as your usual day suddenly turned interesting when an older man you were serving started asking you strange questions.

“I’m sorry, but that’s not on the menu, sir.” Was your casual answer with the usual customer service smile.

The man grinned, “Wow, you almost seem convincing. I’m impressed.” He leaned his elbows on the table with a smug smirk, “Curses have gotten so advanced in this day in age, especially compared to when I first started.”

You kept your face neutral, “Sir, are you going to order or not?”

You weren’t human.

You knew this.

“Tell me,” The man continued, pinning you in place with an intense gaze. “How were you able to hide from us for so long?”

Now you were irritated. Strange how quickly that happened these days.

Instead of taking his obvious bait, you offered a sweet smile, “I’ll go get you another waitress. And when you’re ready to order she’ll help you.” You tucked your notepad into the pocket of your apron. “I have other tables to attend to. Excuse me.”

After a quick bow, you left his table. He didn’t stop you either with another strange question or observation.

This was going to be a long day. But you couldn’t help the secret grin tugging at your lips as you entered the kitchen.

“Heh.”

“And where is the curse now?”

The human man, Geto never bothered to learn his name, swallowed nervously, “It was at the hospital for awhile and then, well, we lost it for a second—but we managed to track it down to a local café. Since then, the curse hasn’t left.”

Geto hummed and stood from the altar, “Any sorcerers?”

“One found it. But updates have told me neither of them have left the café yet.”

The curse was elusive, Geto figured. A month ago was the first time he received word about it. There were many bodies left in its wake, so it sounded like they were quite the powerful curse. A special grade, perhaps.

It’s just that no one has managed to catch a glance of it. But apparently, it was attached to a human girl.

Simple enough.

“Bring Larue. We’re taking a small trip.” Geto smiled passively at the man. “You’re of no use to me anymore.”

He should’ve sent Larue in the first place instead of this monkey. A mistake he would not make again. While yes, the human could see curses, he was still of little use to Geto-sama. Plus, he was slightly irritated that he nearly lost the curse.

That deserved some form of punishment.

Geto sent him another smile, “Why don’t I award you accordingly?”

A curse appeared next to him, startling the human into a frightful scream as he stumbled off and ran.

“Make sure to go and find Larue for me whenever you can!” Geto called happily as the man kept screaming further into one of the temple corridors.

After a moment, he dusted his robes off and sighed, “Alright then. Time to get to work.”

“Huh, I thought you’d last longer.”

You mumbled as your kagune tore straight through the sorcerer’s abdomen and pinned him against the now scarlet-stained wall. By now you were sure that all the coffee was filled with drips of blood from all the deathly pale customers and former co-workers. How unfortunate.

The sorcerer didn’t respond or move. At this point, you were talking to a corpse.

“Aw, man! Now I have to get a whole new job.” You pouted, letting the body drop to the floor with the rest. “You see what you made me do? Could’ve left me be, serving gross-ass coffee. But you just had to play hero—not a very good one—but a hero, nonetheless.”

You allowed your kagune to retreat into your spine and get off the front counter. “Now how should I paint this canvas? Leave you all as is? Let the humans believe this to be a random homicide?” You stuck your tongue out, “Bleh, boring!” You knelt in front of the dead sorcerer and found yourself giggling as if he told you a joke, "Or maybe you killed them all and then yourself. Yeah, seems fitting. Sure to keep the rest of your kind off my back for a little bit. Including the humans.”

With that, you nodded to yourself and hummed a catchy tune to yourself as you went to grab a knife from the kitchen. After dancing to the song in your head, you stabbed the sorcerer in the abdomen multiple times until it was coated in his blood.

The whiff of the blood was delicious and you couldn’t help but get a few licks before putting the knife in his limp hand.

For a moment, you remained crouched in front of him. Staring straight at this corpse. Wondering when you became so used to the blood. To finding flesh so delicious.

Guess you couldn’t help who you were in the end.

Was it sad? Was it relieving?

You couldn’t say.

With a sigh, you stood, instantly catching movement in the reflection of the café front window.

“Hi, there.”

You barely had time to turn and see who else was in the café with you.

It felt as if an invisible chain yanked you back.

And everything turned black. Though, you weren’t unconscious.

And here entered the hellish part of the day.

Perhaps it wasn’t simple.

When Geto saw the curse for himself, he originally, only saw a human. But upon further inspection, he saw it. That cursed spirit. It was just hidden by that human cover.

Was it inside of the human? Was it even attached?

Or was the human the curse?

Either way, he was able to capture it and swallow it down like all the others.

The taste was strange though. Putrid like the rest but there was a sweetness to it. It was a pleasant surprise. Apart of him wished he could taste her all over again. The type of sweetness that was addicting. What a nasty drug.

It was definitely a special grade. That much was clear.

Useful. He needed power like this on his side. He was lucky to have caught it first before those sorcerers could.

Well, technically the dead sorcerer did find it first but didn’t have much time to exorcise it. Clearly.

He chuckled at the scene before him, “Well, aren’t you a gruesome little thing.”

And it was his to claim.

Proud of his recent accomplishment, he and Larue went back to the temple with more work awaiting them, well for Geto mostly.

“They’re all waiting for you, sir.” One of his followers informed him.

Next to him, Larue grinned, “Another speech tonight, Geto-sama?”

“That’s where I do my work best.” Geto smiled with a nod as he walked to the main room.

Upon entering, dozens of followers left from the Time Vessel Association got on their knees and pressed their foreheads to the matted floor.

“We live in a disease. Sickness everywhere we look.” Geto took his seat at the altar, brushing out his robes. “And it is our job to get rid of it. To clean this world of monkeys. And I recognize that many of you are hungry for that. But all followers must be guided in the right direction.” His smile grew as they kept their heads down. None of them dared to look him in the eyes as he spoke. They respected him. They adored him.

It’s what he deserved.

“You all obey me now if you wish to live and see the world we create.” No one objected to this. Larue stood further at the back with a proud smile. “Do you trust me to lead you all without question? If not—”

It’s as if for a short moment, he wasn’t in control of his body. His stomach twisted into painful knots, and his throat both retracted and tightened until he finally lurched forward and retched the ball with the curse out onto the matted floor.

“Geto-sama!”

That had to be Larue’s voice. But Geto couldn’t hear much of him. Not with a bleary mind, dazed in confusion and shock.

Yes, in the past he had vomited after swallowing curses. But they never came back up.

What the hell?

You weren’t sure where you’d end up after scaping but you sure as hell wasn’t expecting to be standing before a bunch of people, bowing but staring at you in utter shock and delicious fear.

Of course, you were still pissed about being captured but your lips lifted upward into a smirk at the sight. That is until your eyes caught on an old insignia on the wall.

The symbol for the Time Vessel Association.

You scoffed, “You guys never give up, huh?” You wiped the leftover blood off your lips and grinned, “Can’t even let it go after almost three years? That’s fine, I guess. More food for me.”

In your mouth, your canines began to ache just as your eyes locked on one of the men. Frozen in fear at the sight of you. Looking like he was just about ready to run out of there.

“Excuse me.”

The voice rang in your ears. Coming from behind you like at the café. Lazily, you glanced over your shoulder only to be met with the last person you ever expected to see.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t eat my loyal followers.”

You didn’t recognize him at first. His hair was longer, and he wore a kasaya over his black robes—but his smile was the same, just with something a lot more sinister.

“Hey,” You mused with a raised brows, “You killed me last year. And took my girls.”

He stared at you too—you were sure he recognized you too with the subtle look of familiarity flashing in his eyes.

Of course, he recognized you.

The sweet store clerk from that village. The non-sorcerer that had made him falter back then—only by a little.

His conviction about it had been long resolved though. To him, you were just like the rest of them. A monkey.

Although, you looked quite different with blood tattooed onto your face, clothes, and body. Wearing it proudly like a second skin.

Showing little reaction to recognizing you was easy.

But it was the way you said ‘my girls’ that made his fingers twitch and his smile become stiff.

“Larue. The meeting’s ending early. Please, escort everyone out. Some important matters that need tending to.”

After the man, Larue, gave you one last cautious stare—you didn’t bother sparing him a look—he led the rest of the group out of the room. Leaving only you and this man. A cult leader if you had to guess.

“I didn’t think you were close with the girls.” He mused as he began circling you, brown eyes staring intently at every part of your body. Almost as if he were looking for something.

“Yeah? How could you after you killed me?” You threw back easily, unmoving from your spot as you let him circle you. It was a little game, you thought. You would pretend to be the prey while you let him be the predator. “Didn’t leave me much room to say anything more either. Not with your—you still on that whole killing humans shit?”

You heard him chuckle faintly behind you, “Yes, I am.”

“Mmm. How quirky of you.”

He appeared in your vision, stopping before you with his hands tucked behind his back. The way he moved was elegant like he was acutely aware of his body and those near it. “I hate to break it to you but they’ve long forgotten about you,” His smirk grew, eyes gleaming as he watched your reaction—or rather something else, you remembered he always did that when the two of you first met. “I made sure of that.”

Of course, he still wanted some reaction from you but it didn’t help that he naturally had the face of a liar—even more now than back then—so you couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips.

The man’s—whom you still had yet to learn the name of—smirk never wavered but he still kept staring. Right through you. “You wouldn’t be meeting them, unfortunately. Not when I’m done with you.”

“Ooh.” A grin left your lips as he continued circling you. “Done with me, huh? By a girl dinner first.” He hummed from behind you. You glanced over your shoulder, having to look up only a little to see his face. Your voice was slow when you asked, “What do you plan to do to me?”

There was a chuckle as he slipped from behind you to appear in front of you once more. “So are you a vengeful spirit? I don’t particularly have time for a random human to be haunting me. I’d just kill you and be done with it.” You tilted your head but didn’t respond. Nor did he look for one. “Or you could just be a simple cursed spirit, but then there’s the question of your cursed energy. It certainly isn’t similar to a cursed spirit. And considering none of the ones I capture come back up, I’d have to cross that possibility off my list.”

“You’re talking a lot more than last time.” You pointed out, watching him curiously. He was dangerously close. And you were all too ready, all too hungry for this.

“Or,”

He continued as if you hadn’t said anything. His eyes still searching, a neutral smile playing on his face.

“Ah yes, now I see. The curse could be attached to you. A cursed human. Now how did your filthy monkey hands get a hold of this curse—”

He was close enough by then. That was his first mistake.

You snatched his neck and slammed him down onto the steps of the altar in a matter of seconds, completely taking the man off guard.

Now you straddled his waist, gripping his neck with both your hands as you laughed with wide ghoul-like eyes. His larger hand gripped your wrist, trying to free himself from your otherwise ungodly strength, his own eyes widening slightly when a red glimmer shot out of your back, sharpening to a point where it was pointed directly at his forehead.

“Who the hell do you think you are, huh?! Some god? Could’ve fooled me! Hey, why don’t we have a rematch? Maybe this time it’ll be a fair fucking fight!”

In a blink, something heavy snatched you up and swallowed you whole.

Geto sat up, rubbing his now sore neck as his curse flung around the room and landed on the ceiling, swallowing you.

“Heh,” He grunted out as he got to his feet.

Maybe he was pissed. Maybe he was intrigued. Maybe a little bit of both. Fortunately, none of his followers were in the room. Imagine they saw you manhandling him with ease like that. What leader would that make him? How could he appear weak like that in front of them?

But that didn’t stop the growing grin tugging at his lips. This was a completely different person compared to the human he met at the store—if you were even human at all. You had been so nice, and sweet—your smile so genuine. And now? Maybe death changed you. Maybe you were a cursed human.

Maybe you’ve always been like this.

“You’re not going to make this any easier on me, are you?” He sighed as he stepped off the altar, glancing toward his curse who still stuck to the ceiling. Watching him patiently. “I was going to offer to kill you quickly and then take the curse, but I see now you don’t deserve my mercy. I could have saved you. Maybe you should’ve stayed dead—either way, I’m going to enjoy having your cursed spirit under my control. It’s useful. Powerful. Something you monkeys lack—”

His curse exploded. Bits of it’s skin falling. Blood spilled onto the floor.

And a blurred object flying toward him at an ungodly speed.

Geto barely dodged you as he jumped out of the way.

You left a large hole in the floor when you landed where the man had been standing. Now your kagune was out and gleaming, hungry, and simmering with rage just as your blood was.

The man landed a few feet away from you, black holes appearing at his side with more curses spilling out of them. You grinned at this and stood straighter at the altar.

You looking down on him. Just as he had done with his followers.

Geto tried not to react at that. Tried not to show how pissed he truly was.

But you noticed it of course.

It made your grin follow into a laugh as you sunk easily into your fighting stance.

“You done spittin’ that narcissistic shit, yet?” You called amusingly. “Or are you ready for that rematch now?”

“That’s enough out of you.” He now didn’t look so amused as his cursed spirits launched themselves at you at once. “That curse does not belong to you. I believe it’s time you hand it over to me now.”

You allowed the two cursed spirits to get as close as possible before dashing from the altar and ending up in front of the man with a sickening sweet smile.

“Make me.”

But he didn’t lean away, your noses practically touching. He matched your grin, white teeth glistening in the dimly lit room.

“Gladly.”

More curses came flying at you. Some large and others small. You dodged and killed the smaller ones. The larger ones were a lot more difficult to get through. Truthfully, you didn’t know much of your limit to your strength or speed since you spent most of your life trying to suppress it all, but it seemed you were able to keep up anyway, coupled with your skills in martial arts.

And it seemed he was using the curses to keep you distracted long enough until he could get up close himself. His arms wrapped around you from behind, restricting you as a flying curse was zooming toward you, its beak wide open and ready to take your head.

“Comfortable?” He whispered in your ear, his chuckle tickling the lobe. “Is this what you wanted when we first met in that store? To be this close?”

You grinned and leaned back into him just a bit, “Your such a tease.”

With that, you smashed the back of your head into his face, forcing him to let you go as you spun and kicked him hard enough that he flew.

Fortunately for him, one of his curses caught him and another smashed into you, throwing you across the room. You quickly tore through it with your kagune and leaped back up to your feet just as he came at you.

His combat style was fast and far more experienced than you were, but you managed to keep up. You managed to land in a few jabs of your own until one of his curses took you down again.

You threw it off and spat out a mixture of spit and blood, “Cheater.”

“Like you’ve been playing fair.” He scoffed, rubbing his jaw from the last blow you had given him.

“Try not throwing your stupid curses at me and fight me yourself.” You challenged, jumping to your feet. “I can’t be the only one making the first moves here.”

Just as you said that you tackled him into the damaged altar stairs, straddling his lap again, tugging his hair so he was looking up at you, “Comfortable?”

He was staring up at you again, this time with visible interest, “You’re not human, are you?”

You rolled your eyes and let his hair go but kept your legs straddled at his waist, “What gave that away?”

“Are you done with your little show now?” He asked with a lazy smirk now on his face.

There was movement in the corner of your eye and you glared, “I swear to go if another one of your stupid curses—”

Another one slammed into you and threw you into a wall. “Asshole!” You grunted, holding your shoulder as you dodged another attack from the curse, “Play fair!”

The cheeky bastard grinned, “Make me.”

Your kagune came out. It was like a tail, almost. An extra limp that was a part of your body but hidden. It swished around, cautiously waiting for your command. Waiting for your next target.

The both of you were bruised and bloodied, surrounded by curses, but neither ready to back down just yet. You wondered how long the two of you would keep at this. Which one of you would eventually give in? Which one of you would die? Is that his end goal here? To still kill you?

Well, with the way the curses and him surrounded you, the latter seemed more possible with each passing second.

That didn’t mean you were ready to give in. Not like last time. Not like that night in the temple. The two of you stared at each other with silent challenge. He was back on the altar as if expecting you to bow down. Like you were supposed to submit like his little followers. He hid it well back then.

Only this time, there was a subtle look across his face. One he didn’t bother to hide.

He was hesitating.

Now was your chance to—

The doors behind you swung open behind you and a call of your name screamed desperately as a smaller body crashed into your back.

Your first instinct was to attack, to direct your kagune at the newcomer. Only when you felt smaller arms wrap around your waist from behind, you faltered.

Now you were hesitating.

Another body came at you at the front, just as small as the other one.

Nanako looked up at you with wide teary eyes, “Don’t hurt him! Please! We don’t want you to get hurt!”

Through your shock, you were a little offended. If they took one look at him, they’d see that you were managing just fine. But you didn’t voice that out loud. Instead, you allowed your kagune to disappear.

“We thought you were dead.” Mimiko whimpered from behind you, her hold tightening. “When Nanako said she heard your voice, I didn’t believe her. But you’re here! And we don’t want you to go!”

“Please don’t leave us again.” Nanako buried her face into your stomach, her voice becoming muffled. Silent tears were falling down your cheeks as you knelt to their height. “Please, please, please, don’t leave.”

“Okay,” You whispered to her, allowing Mimiko to come around and hug you from the front as well. You wrapped your arms tightly around them, ignoring how most of the curses that had surrounded you had disappeared. Ignoring how easily you melted in front of your girls. Ignoring how much your heart had been missing a void up until now. Ignoring how he watched the three of you intensely from the altar. “Okay, okay, I won’t leave. I’m right here.”

Mimiko pressed her cheek against yours, “Promise?”

You chuckled shakily, realizing how much you were trembling as you held them. “Yeah, I promise.”

“Okay, well, we have to pinky promise on it,” Nanako said pulling back a bit as she wiped her tears on her hoodie sleeve. “We kept our promise. Now it’s your turn.”

Nanako held out her pinky which you took instantly. Mimiko lifted her head from your shoulder and joined her pinky with yours. You allowed them to fight over covering your much longer pinky with their little ones, earning small giggles from the girls.

Geto watched the interaction, silently.

The girls never approached anyone other than Geto himself. Not even the people he trusts the most, the girls weren’t as comfortable as they were with him.

He didn’t doubt the girls' adoration for him. Not one bit. They were his.

But perhaps he saw why they were also equally yours.

Mimiko and Nanako weren’t secretive about their relationship with you, even after they thought you had died—like he told them. They always spoke fondly of you, despite knowing you for only a short amount of time. Still, in that short time, they experienced the most kindness they had ever received.

He remembered you freeing them from the cage. He remembered your protective stance when he appeared to you at the temple. He remembered the distraught look on your face when the girls willingly went with him. It wasn’t betrayal. It was sadness mixed with the simmering rage that was directed at him.

You weren’t human.

That much was clear.

You weren’t entirely a curse spirit either.

Probably more human than curse.

Geto wasn’t too sure how to feel about that yet.

Not yet anyway.

The girls were now in front of him, staring up at him with big pleading eyes. They didn’t have to say it with words.

They wanted you back into their lives. Now that you were here and alive, they wanted you. Just as much as they wanted to be by Geto’s side.

Then there was the fact that he didn’t want to kill you anymore—which was oddly unsettling for him. Technically, you weren’t human. But there was still so much to uncover about you.

And your power was useful. He couldn’t kill something like that.

He was smiling at you again. That passive one. The one that was meant as a warning as he approached you with the girls following in tow behind him.

“I don’t believe we’ve formally introduced ourselves.” You raised a brow as he leaned forward, your faces now inches apart. “You can call me Geto-sama.”

You didn’t utter your name, but he said yours with ease. Falling off his tongue in his deep and smooth voice.

“The girls told me so much about you.”

“Geto, huh?” You mumbled when the last curse sunk away.

“My followers refer to me as Geto-sama, yes.” He nodded, the smile remaining on his face.

It was annoying.

You sent him a grin, “I’m not one of your followers. Geto.”

Ever so slightly, you could see the subtle twitch in his brow. And at that, your grin grew.

Mimiko was the one to speak next, “Can we keep her?”

#jujutsu kaisen #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #getou x reader #getou suguru x reader #getou imagine #jjk imagine #suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagine #geto suguru imagine #[ *take a bow ]

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thelaughtercafe · 3 months

Text

Makoto, Byakuya, Nagito, Hajime and Fuyuhiko figuring out you're ticklish

Tea Type: Rose Boba

Potential Triggers: N/A

Pairing: Makoto/F! Reader, Byakuya/F! Reader, Nagito/F! Reader, Hajime/F! Reader

Length: 1.1k+

Summary: N/A

Makoto Naegi:

Save this pure boy.

He just wanted a cuddle dammit-

He didn’t expect you to lurch halfway across the room when he squeezed around your middle.

Becomes pouty and timidly asks if he did something wrong.

You can’t say no to his puppy dog eyes and shyly explain that you’re just ticklish.

Immediately cheers up.

“Aw that’s all it was? You had me worried!”

Wiggles his fingers playfully at you and his grin is a little too mischievous for your liking.

“Maybe we can figure out where else you’re ticklish…we gotta be thorough after all.”

Don’t forget the fact that Makoto is a big brother. They’re always master lers in my head. And mean.

Don’t provoke the hope boi.

Byakuya Togami:

He knew before you even told him honestly.

Caught your flinch when Hina hugged you from behind and didn’t think much of it until you were already dating.

You were ranting about something and he’d been half listening, half reading his book and stroking your hair absentmindedly when you squealed as his fingertips gently brushed across your neck.

Gave a small hum as he saw how red you became, causing him to roll his eyes.

“No need to be embarrassed, dummy. It’s perfectly natural to be ticklish. It’s a tactic from evolution that we got over time. Probably from when we were still cave people and afraid of poisonous bugs. Now though it’s more a way to either facilitate mating or bonding in general due to the release of endorphins.”

From then on incorporates tickling more in an attempt to get you used to it.

And maybe to initiate that bonding too.

Nagito Komaeda:

Thinks he’s not worthy of touching you so makes an active effort to not touch others.

Which leads to touch starvation.

Ironically, despite that sweet facade- gets jealous easily.

He is…nearly possessive, despite keeping a distance

So when he spots Hajime making you laugh and his keen eyes also pick up the way you arch into his touch-

He’s ashamed to say he wants to do that too.

But not just to anyone.

To you.

Tries to fight it for a while before he can no longer bear keeping his distance, or you burst into tears after a particularly cruel comment he’s made.

He can’t do this anymore. He just can’t. Luck cycle be damned. If he has to keep you attached to him at all times to make sure whatever happens to you happens to him too?

So be it.

Even after everything is out in the open and you trust him and encourage him constantly he still is a little apprehensive with touching and just holds your hand.

Whether or not you’re dealing with touch starvation yourself you may if you start dating Nagito at first.

But that all changes when he sees Fuyuhiko find out.

You’d always been unafraid of the Yakuza heir so there was a kind of rivalry filled friendship there. It was playful, and when Fuyuhiko’s face lights up with a smirk and Nagito sees the embarrassed blush on your cheeks and the way you’re getting shy, turning to mush-

Oh.

He’s already hovering over Fuyuhiko and smiling a little too wildly as he mentions Peko being flirted with by Teruteru.

You had your suspicions but when he turned and you saw the intensity swirling in his eyes…

“Did…Are you jealous, Nagito?”

Your breath catches as he backs you up against the wall Fuyuhiko had been leaning on moments before, making your face heat.

This was a different side to him.

You still couldn’t bring yourself to break eye contact though.

“I know someone as awful as me shouldn’t have the right to touch you but I-”

Annnnnd he was back to his old self.

Fed up with his self-deprecation and also getting a little desperate you roughly grabbed his hands and tugged them toward your sides with pleading eyes.

A small smirk tugged at his lips at the action and he lightly fluttered his fingers underneath your shirt, making you instinctively squeak at the coldness of his fingers as well as the tickling before you tried to squirm in his grip. And then he teased.

“Hm? What’s wrong baby? I thought you were all desperate for me to tickle you…why are you struggling?”

It wasn’t much…but it was a start.

Hajime Hinata:

Observant boi!!

Calls it out the second it happens with too much nonchalance.

“Oh sorry, didn’t mean to tickle you; I just needed to grab my drink.”

When you tease him for his love of orange juice he smirks a little and

sets his drink down with purpose before approaching and scribbling your sides.

“If you wanted me to continue, you could’ve just asked nicely you know. Now I have to punish you~”

Does this adorable evil laugh before continuing to play around with you until you’re a panting mess.

Leaves you on the floor as he nonchalantly sips at his juice and pretends he doesn’t notice the cherry red blush on your face.

Absolutely files the information away for later.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu:

Baby gangsta is not the type to initiate physical contact, even once you’ve started dating.

At least not in public.

He’s the Ultimate Yakuza after all; like Hell is he risking your life just to show PDA.

If shown with affection he tends to curse and go red, especially in public. Even little things like holding his hand or sneaking a peck on the cheek.

In private it’s a little better he typically will just grumble but begrudgingly return it in his own way.

He starts gradually letting you when surrounded by your close friends which is what leads to him finding out.

Another big brother, but with a very different dynamic than Makoto with Komaru.

Fuyuhiko actually ends up getting tickled first, by his sister, and you find yourself face to face with a seemingly enraged yakuza heir when you let a giggle slip.

Big mistake.

“You think that’s funny do you?”

His sneer turns to a familiar smirk and your heart skips a beat as he easily overpowers you, raising your arms with one hand before he claws your tummy and his sister joins in as she gets your underarms.

You don’t stand a chance.

Have fun dying.

Uses it to make you smile and/or fuck with you from then on.

As a treat after a hard day.

Or to remind himself you’re alive and with him and he’s got you when the nightmares make him awake with a scream instinctively muffled by his hand.

And if you notice the tear streaks when you awake with a scream of laughter you certainly don’t say anything.

Besides, you’ll have matching ones by the time he’s done with you.

He’s lucky you love him so much.

134 notes · View notes

nurse-buckley · 1 year

Text

Tomorrow Holds Such Better Days

Fandom: 9-1-1 Word Count: 2,472 Characters: Evan Buckley, Eddie Diaz, Bobby Nash, firefam (mentioned) Warnings: major trigger warning for depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide and overdosing with pills. If you are not in the right mind frame to read this please skip this one. Summary: After your depression worsens, you decide to take things into your own hands and end your life, but will a message to your family be enough to save your life? Tagslist: @firemedicdiaz @winterreader-nowwriter @iamasimpingh0e @dayrin085 @hauntedmilkshakeghost @floralbuckleys @alexxavicry (if you want to be added or taken off the list, please let me know)

Thank you @floralbuckleys @firemedicdiaz and @bucketofbarnes for all of your help, support with writing this <3

If you or anyone else is struggling with thoughts of suicide please reach out to someone you trust or alternatively try these helplines (x) If the link is broken, please let me know. You don't have to suffer alone.

You were no stranger to depression, having struggled with it off and on for a long time. The constant, agonizing feeling of sinking, as if you were watching everyone around you swimming up for air but there was a constant weight dragging you down. You didn’t want to die, but sometimes it just felt that going to sleep and never waking up or an accident on the job taking you out would make it easier.

Life had just gotten to be too much. Truly, sometimes you just thought maybe it wasn’t for you. Maybe you were just one of the unlucky ones that life didn’t work out for. With those constant thoughts plaguing your mind for days, you had finally made up your mind to end your life and made peace with it. If self-preservation had taught you anything, it was that maybe you should be terrified. But no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Usually you would have reached out to someone before it got to this point. You would have phoned Eddie, Buck or Bobby, or even the family you’d gained through them, knowing they’d all been through their own struggles. Any one of them would have dropped what they were doing to help you. But again, no matter how hard you tried to pick up the phone, typing and backspacing messages asking for help, the voice in your head was just too loud and fed you all the usual lies.

‘You’re a burden,’ ‘No one cares.’ ‘Why are you so needy?’ ‘They have their own lives and issues to worry about without adding your burdens to them.’

You didn’t want to put your issues on them anymore, scared of the judgment, the looks and the pity they might give you. Not when they had their own problems and lives to deal with. If you were being truthful to yourself, maybe you didn’t want to tell them because if you did they would stop you and you weren’t sure if that’s what you wanted.

This just felt like the best option; for you, and for them.

You opened your phone, sending a text to Bobby first to let him know you couldn’t make it to work again. It was the second shift in a row that you’d missed, and even now you hated the fact that you were letting the team down. A few moments later, your phone started pinging with a few notifications from your friends.

Hen: ‘I hope you feel better soon <3’

Chim: ‘Feel better, let me or Maddie know if you need anything :)’

Buck: ‘Me and Eddie will swing by to check on you with some soup after shift, do you need anything else? xx’

You cursed yourself for lying to them, once again forcing the attention on yourself. The guilt only added to your decision and with one last text to the group, that was it.

‘Thanks for always having my back guys. Appreciate and love you all.’

You hit the send button, leaving the phone on your coffee table along with a hastily scribbled note explaining your decision and apologizing.

To everyone else, the message you’d sent seemed normal. They’d pocketed their phones and gone about their normal duties, checking inventory and cleaning, but something in Buck just didn’t sit right. He’d read the message over and over, trying to convince himself that everything was okay, but he just couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.

You’d opened up to Buck about your past a few times, your parents, even your therapy. He thought you’d been doing better but he’d noticed your downturn in mood lately; how quiet you’d been, how your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, even as you laughed at his and Chim’s jokes.

Buck made his way to Bobby’s office. “Hey Cap, is it alright if me and Eddie swing by y/n’s place?”

Bobby didn’t miss the concern plastering Buck’s face, being able to read him like a book and knowing something wasn’t sitting right with him.

“What’s going on?”

It didn’t take him long to quickly explain his worries, the warning signs, and that he wouldn’t feel okay until he checked on you.

Bobby mentally kicked himself for not putting it together sooner, knowing the warning signs from his own experiences when Hen and Buck had almost had to break his door down for him years before. “Take one of the med kits and keep me updated.”

Buck practically flew out of Bobby’s office, calling Eddie as he ran to grab one of the spare medical kits and monitors from the storage closet.

“I’ll explain on the way, we need to go. Now.”

“Y/N, can you open the door for us?”

Buck pulled out his phone, willing his hands to stop shaking so he could unlock the screen and call your number. Eddie leant in closer to the door as they heard your familiar ringtone. With no answer or signs of movement, Eddie pulled out the spare key you’d given him.

As the pair walked in, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The place was relatively tidy but there was no sign of you being there. Buck called out your name once more, his worry only growing as he was met with silence.

“Buck…” Eddie’s heart felt as if it were in his throat as his eyes landed on your phone sitting on top of a folded piece of paper on the coffee table where you’d left them.

Buck’s feet carried him towards your bedroom before his mind could even fully comprehend the note, not even caring to knock as he swung open the door. His breath caught in his throat as he saw your body lying prone on your bed, the small orange pill bottle lying empty and open on your bedside table.

He couldn’t even hear himself screaming Eddie’s name for help over the pounding in his ears as he ran to the bedside and dropped to his knees. He pressed his fingers into your neck, relief washing over him as he felt your pulse beneath his fingertips. It was slower then he’d have liked, but it was there.

You felt as if you were floating, vaguely aware of voices around you, hands jostling your body and flipping you onto your back; but your body was too heavy to fight back, the pull of the drugs still keeping you asleep. You felt another set of warm fingers press into the side of your neck, but the darkness was safe. Comforting.

It wasn’t until you felt the painful sensation of knuckles rubbing up and down the center of your chest that you became more aware of your surroundings. The pain caused you to let out a groan as you sluggishly came back to your senses.

“That’s it. Open your eyes for me, we’ve got you.”

Even through the haze, you could recognise that voice anywhere. “Ed…?”

The knuckles continued to try and rouse you and you would have given anything to smack him away if your arms weren’t so heavy.

“Yeah. It’s me, I’m here. Buck’s here too. Open your eyes for us.”

When you finally opened your eyes, you were met with the two men hovering over you. It didn’t take long for the memories to come rushing back; the text messages…the note…the pills. You suddenly became aware of the enormity of what you’d just attempted. You’d tried to kill yourself, and without Buck and Eddie there you very nearly could have succeeded. There was no coming back from that and you knew you’d have to explain yourself.

You shot up, crashing into Eddie as you wrapped your arms around him, fisting your hands into his t-shirt as every emotion that had built up over the last few weeks burst out. He wrapped his arms around you in return, holding you as you cried, whispering words of comfort and reassurance.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you choked out between sobs.

“Shh, it’s alright, you’re okay. We’ve got you,” you heard Buck say as you felt him rub soothing patterns up and down your back.

Eventually the sobs died down, turning to small hiccups and you pulled away. Shame suddenly overwhelmed you, your hands and gaze dropping to your lap, not being able to look at either man.

Eddie reached out slowly, giving you time to back away before he gently squeezed your hands and ducked his head to try and gain your attention. “Y/n?”

You weren’t sure what you were expecting when you looked up at him; Anger? Annoyance? Disgust? But you were only met with his soft and understanding expression.

“I’m really sorry sweetheart. I know this is the last thing you want right now, but with the pills you took I need you to let me or Buck take a look at you. I know that you know what kinds of effects they can have on your body and so I know you know it's important we get a set of vitals on you and see what’s going on with your heart and breathing. Do you think we can get you settled on the couch so we can check you over?”

You looked between him and Buck, being met with twin concerned expressions and nodded, knowing it needed to be done.

“Thank you,” Eddie replied as he gave your hands another squeeze.

The pair moved to either side of you as they helped you swing your legs off the bed and kept you steady as you stood. They stayed still for a moment, letting you gain your balance, before leading you to the couch in the living room.

Once settled, Buck pulled the blanket from the back of the couch, wrapped it around your back and took the seat next to you, offering out his hand. You took it gratefully, needing all the strength you could get to get you through Eddie’s exam.

He began with a few questions. How many pills you took, how you were feeling physically and if you had any symptoms. Thankfully the vitals were quick and after a few more tears, he set the equipment off to the side and took your other hand. “I’m happy your vitals are stable for now. I’d be happier if you got checked out at the hospital, but…”

“No…” your panic began to rise at the thought of hospitals, doctors and nurses.

A squeeze from Eddie’s hand grounded you enough for him to continue, “But, I understand if you don’t want that,” he added quickly, knowing your previous experiences with hospitals.

“Me and Buck would come with you and we could call it an accidental overdose, no one would need to know the details. It’d just be so we can get you checked medically, but I can’t and am not going to force you.”

“I can’t.”

“Okay, if we’re not going to the hospital then I have a few conditions. I’m going to keep an eye on your vitals until the pills wear off, but if anything changes we will have to call an ambulance. I’m also going to set up some fluids to help flush your system and make you something to eat. How does that sound?”

You were terrified at the thought of more vitals, needles and eating; but you knew the alternative would be a lot worse. You trusted Eddie and Buck with your life, and another glance between the pair had you agreeing to his terms.

Buck was next to speak, offering distraction as Eddie began gathering the supplies he needed to start the IV. “Have you got an appointment with your therapist coming up any time soon?”

“Yeah. I’ve got an appointment the day after tomorrow.”

“That’s good.”

He kept up the conversation, talking about anything that came to mind, Eddie chipping in here and there.

“Almost ready here,” Eddie interrupted, “Where’s best for you to have the IV?”

You held out your preferred arm, turning away to Buck for distraction as he cleaned the area. Before you knew it, Eddie had the fluids up and running. With nothing more to do for the moment, the room fell silent.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eddie asked, being the first to broach the subject.

You fiddled with the tape on your IV for a minute, not sure whether you wanted to open that can of worms or not. “Not really. I don’t know. I’m a little embarrassed and know it was dumb and I could have come to any of you, but I just couldn’t see a way out for a minute there.”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’d be surprised to find someone today who hasn’t been affected by poor mental health,” Eddie replied, “and I don’t need to tell you that any of us would have dropped everything to help you.”

The three of you talked more while the fluids ran through. Buck had already updated Bobby who’d promised to come by after shift, asking Eddie and Buck to stay with you as he called in cover for them. Buck made you all something to eat so you wouldn’t feel alone, while Eddie kept an eye on you and got a few more sets of vitals.

True to his word, a few hours later Bobby appeared, taking the seat beside you as he pulled you into his chest and held you close. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you were struggling sooner,” he whispered only for you to hear.

“Do the others know?”

“No,” Bobby shook his head, “and they don’t have to know, unless you tell them. They just think you’ve got a bad case of the flu.”

“I’m sorry,” you let out after a few moments of silence.

“You don’t have to be. I’ve been there before. After my family died I had a plan and if it weren’t for Buck, Hen and the rest of you…I wouldn’t be here. They got me through and we’ll get you through. It’s what family does.”

You let out a shaky breath, “So. What happens now?”

“That’s up to you. Do you think it would be a good idea to take some time off work?”

“No. Isolating myself just makes things worse. Not having anything to do tends to make me spiral a little.”

The pair of you agreed on a plan. A few days off to recover, continuing with your therapist and checking in with either him, Buck or Eddie if you felt yourself slipping again. Buck offered to let you stay with him, not wanting you to be alone and wanting you where he could keep an eye on you for the night. You knew the road to recovery was only just beginning, but you felt a little lighter with your family by your side.

#911 #9-1-1 #911 reader #eddie diaz x reader #evan buckley x reader #bobby nash x reader #buddie x reader #911 x reader #9-1-1 x reader #911 fanfic #9-1-1 fanfic #911 fanfiction #9-1-1 fanfiction #tw suicide #tw suicidal thoughts #tw overdose #my writing

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findmeintheferns · 1 year

Text

sweet dreams

fuck me like you missed me then

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: y/n can’t sleep, how could she? she had gotten so used to ellie fcking her every night before bed. since ellie and cat were back together they can’t anymore. uno because that would be wrong, right? right???

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: angst, smut (oral sex, fingering), apologies if there is typos i got sick of rereading this lol

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 1.5k

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: ellie williams (TLOU) x reader

————

You had tried everything, you mediated, downed 2 cups of chamomile tea, took a warm shower, read. Hell, you even counted sheep for a solid 15 minutes to no avail. You just could not sleep. Usually you wouldn’t really care that much, you enjoyed your quiet time and would spent the night finishing a book or watching whatever movie you could scavenge from crumbling houses. Nighttime was really the only time you could be alone. However tomorrow you had patrol at 5am and you didn’t really love the idea of no sleep before that. You stared at the clock as the hand crept closer and closer to the early hours of the morning.

“That’s it. Fuck it.” you groaned in frustration, pushing yourself off your couch and marching towards the door. You knew deep down this wasn’t a great idea, but you were desperate. It was freezing outside, you didn’t even bother to put on a jacket before making your way to Ellie’s. You see, the past few months between you and her had been kinda awkward. You were best friends since Ellie and Joel had returned from Salt Lake City. You met her during a rough time, and you bonded over that. She was the first person you ever did a patrol with, you know, without a group. You always knew there was something more there, you just didn’t act on it. However when Ellie and Cat went on their first ‘break’ you slipped up. The two of you had been drinking alone in her room, she couldn’t stop complaining about her ex and you were getting fed up of hearing about it. You didn’t like Cat in the first place, and the idea of making her jealous lit a fire in you, one didn’t know was there before. Ellie was mid sentence, saying something along the lines of, “And you know what fucking gets me? She says that I should cut YOU out of my life because you secretly want me blah blah blah yet she’s always with stupid Bailey, the one person I know for a fact wants to fuc-“ you cut her off, pressing your lips against hers and making her shut up. She pulled away, looking kinda shocked. That shock however didn’t last long because about 2 seconds later she was pulling you into her lap by your tank top and roughly kissing you back. After that incident you continued to fuck for a few weeks, spending almost every night in her bed or her in yours. The problem was you didn’t talk about it, probably because you knew it was wrong. You’d simply wait for one another the second it got dark out to show up at the door and then spend a solid chunk of the night having the best sex of your life. This was up until a week ago, which is when you noticed Cat desperately trying to fix things with Ellie.

“Wait- y/n, don’t go. I don’t understand?” Ellie quickly followed after you as you made your way to the door.

“Cat wants you back Ellie, come on we can’t keep doing this.” You grab the door handle but Ellie’s hand grabs yours, stopping you from being able to twist it. You make eye contact with her and sigh.

“Why does it matter if she wants me back?” she asks, confused.

You push her hand off yours, aggressively opening the door.

“You clearly want her too, you shouldn’t ruin your chances by continuing something that’s purely just sex.”

You don’t give her a chance to reply, you don’t even look at her face, scared that her expression will convince you she’s feeling something she’s not. You didn’t have the balls to tell her how you actually felt, like how you wish you were hers instead of Cat, or how you were scared to take it any further because you couldn’t risk losing her as a friend. From then on you had barely been talking, she seemed kinda pissed off at you actually. Plus her and Cat were back together, so yeah, you knew it was the wrong thing to do, but you no longer gave a fuck. You reach her door and gently knock three times, wondering if she’ll even be awake to hear it. Suddenly a sleepy, groggy Ellie opens the door, looking puzzled.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” she mumbled staring at you with confusion. You don’t waste anytime making your way into her room and slamming the door shut.

“Y/n I don’t understa-“ You cut her off again, grabbing her face and pressing her lips to yours. You expect her to get angry at you but instead she returns the kiss even more rough then you were. Before you know it she has pushed you onto the bed, her lean but muscular body on top of yours. You moan at the sight of her, she’s wearing a singlet with with no bra, so you can see how hard her nipples are already. Her hair is a little messy, probably from sleep, but still looks good somehow. She practically tears your shirt off you and moves her kisses from your lips down your neck and to your breasts. You gasp at the feeling of her lips on your chest as she intently sucks your nipples, making your whole body tingle. You pull on her hair and she lets out a moan, moving back to your lips. You’ve made out for too long, you need more, you grind against her leg and she retaliates, pressing her thigh into your clit. You grab her singlet and pull it off without hesitating. You begin unbuttoning her pants however you’re interrupted by her raspy voice.

“Wait, wait, wait, Y/n. Are we really doing this?” she says, clearly out of breath.

“I mean, only if you want to” you shrug

“I want to. I really want to. But i’m confused, you told me to get back with Cat? You made it clear that what we had was just sex, are you just really horny because if that’s the cas-“

You press you finger to her lips.

“Ellie, come on did you really think this was just sex to me? I hate Cat, I envy her. I’ve wanted you since we were 15 but I couldn’t risk losing you. I just can’t pretend anymore.”

You watch Ellie’s face carefully, scared that what she’ll say next will cause you two to never speak again. Instead she softly rubs her fingers on against your cheek.

“I really wish you told me earlier, we wasted so much time. I missed you this last week, a lot.” she sighs.

You are so relieved you could actually cry, but now is not the time for that.

“Fuck me like you missed me then.” you don’t have time to say anything else, because the second you finished your sentence Ellie has lifted you up and roughly placed you on top of her hips so that you are straddling her as she lays down. Your lips reconnect and you grind down hard.

“I need you” you moan, drunk on the how good this feels.

“I’ve got you baby” she replies, flipping you over and pulling your pants down quicker than you thought was humanly possible. She unbuttons her pants so you are both naked, your pussy pulsing from the sight.

“So wet for me huh baby?” she hums, causing you to groan.

Wasting no time she presses her mouth against your clit, moaning at your reaction to her tongue. It isn’t long before you feel your stomach begin to grow warm, you’re not going to last long. You grab her hand that is tightly gripped against your thigh. She always does this so she can hold you in place while she licks and sucks in the perfect rhythm. You push her hand further down and she knows exactly what you want. She presses her fingers inside you and you throw your head against the pillow, making the headboard loudly hit the wall. She continues to finger you while using her magic mouth on your clit as you feel yourself begin to come undone. It makes you so fucking wet how much she loves eating your pussy.

“F-fuck, FUCK, Ellie i’m so close. I’m so so fucking close ughh” you moan worryingly loud but oh well, you couldn’t care less in this moment. Ellie moans into your pussy and you’re thrown over the edge, cumming arguably harder than you’ve ever cum in your life. Ellie rolls over, laying next to you, as you both try and catch your breath.

“Fuck.” You groan, thinking about how good she makes you feel. You roll over and look at her, sweaty and breathless.

“You okay?” you ask “You seem kinda out of breath.” She turns to look at you, her cheeks bright pink.

“I-I um, sorta”

“Spit it out Ellie” you say impatiently, worried something is wrong.

“Shut up” she retaliates “I came. When I was eating you out idk how but I finished”

You giggle, moving so that you are now on top of her.

“Naw don’t be embarrassed Els, wanna cum again?” you whisper in her ear causing her to groan,

“You know I fucking do”.

#ellie williams #the last of us #tlou #smut #y/n #the last of us hbo #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #wlw #wlw ship #wlw smut

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milkywaydrabbles · 8 months

Note

With the last kinks you did, they were hard and good!! but I was looking at your other list and I read this my god, you never told me that you knew how to cook and I remembered that it has always been said that Alucard is a good cook, but what would happen if one day after patrolling the village, he arrived to see that his beautiful wife prepared lunch or dinner for him, Alucard deserves to be cared for and fed well after so much that has happened to him 🥺

A/N: I love Adrian Tepes with my entire being!!!! I want to dote on him forever!! ;; ty for the sweet fluff I love him. I was trying to keep this lighthearted and funsies hahas but somehow it got super serious and romantic gah ;A; I loved this and I hope you love it too mwuah

"Oh my god I didn't know you could cook" x Alucard

Days were getting longer, more sunlight shining through the sky for a few extra hours, for which Alucard was grateful. The attacks on the village were still steady, however he did less and less as time went on, the makeshift soldiers amongst the property becoming quite successful at fending for themselves. Of course, Alucard would still be around should anything drastic occur. This was his castle and within the walls, he had a duty to protect the people he’d invited into his home. Some days were harder for him though, mind always floating back to his pregnant wife that he’d leave throughout his patrols to care for the village. It pained him, but you’d always be there and shoo him away saying ‘we’re fine here, Adrian, go look after someone who needs it!’ with a wink and a bump of your hip. He was so grateful for you, for how patient you are with him, how loving and caring you are with all the children around the village--Alucard truly couldn’t have asked for a better life.

Even Trevor, the notoriously obnoxious (now father!) fighter had been reeled in, being put in his place one too many times by you and Sypha to poke and prod at him anymore. He was softer whenever you came around, in fear of another shoe being brought down on his head. (He said your ‘hormones would only get worse from here, careful Alucard’ with a snicker, before feeling the thud of a boot falling from the staircase above him. Frantic he looked up at you, to which you replied ‘I’ll show you hormones, Belmont!’ he never brought it up again.)

But now you’re seven months pregnant, and Alucard fears for your safety more and more. He wishes to be there, more present than he has been (you say he’s been present, he doesn’t feel it!) He thinks of the last moments before he walked out into the early morning light to patrol the village for the day, belly round and waddling to give him one last kiss at the door. He’s mentally drawn hearts around the picture in his mind, finishing up the patrol as quickly as he could. It was getting closer to dinner time, which means that he had to get home to cook you and the baby a meal! A few more loose conversations here and there, and he was off--back home to his doting wife and mother of his child.

“Sweetheart I’m--hm?” The mix of delicious aromas filled his senses, warmth in the castle emitting from the kitchen. This...is new. You’d never really made more than a few scrambled eggs in the morning, hastily scrounging something up before you went on your early patrols (before you were pregnant) and now he’s smelling what could be an entire holiday meal coming from the kitchen. Slowly he made his way, poking his head through the entryway and smiling at the sight: you with an apron (that barely fit! cute) tied at your back, plopping a few bowls and pots on the kitchen table that was set already for the both of you. Your hair was messy, tied back in a ribbon and your brows scrunched, probably trying to get everything perfect. But you were happy, he could tell: the smile on your face gave it away. He knocked on the wall as to not startle you, “darling, what are you doing?”

You let out a small gasp, too concentrated at the task at hand to realize you were being watched. Your cheeks grew warm, smiling at your lover. “I made you dinner.” How simple of a statement, as if it was a normal ordeal. You had side dishes amongst dishes, a few desserts even littered around and-- “do you have a roast in the oven?” You nodded, sheepishly. “Ah, yes, about that--can you help me take it out?” You barely got the question out before it was hoisted out and gingerly placed on the table. “How on earth did you even get this in here...where did you--”

“--Well actually the nice neighbors helped me bring it back from the market, and placed it in the oven for me once I was done seasoning it.”

Ah, that explains a lot.

“I didn’t even know you knew how to make a roast.” he mumbled to himself with a smile and you gasped, his smile growing larger. “You never let me in the kitchen!” You rebutted, tease evident in your tone. “Now go get cleaned up, it’s time for dinner.”

The dinner was the most delicious meal he’d ever have in his life. A display of cured meats, cheeses, fruits and soups as appetizers, the most tender roast that fell right off the fork with vegetables as the main course, and a variety of sweets--from chocolate to cheesecake to berry pies-- for dessert, Alucard couldn’t believe you did all of this in one day (you had to remind him he was gone for nearly twelve hours today). He took a bite of the roast, and audibly moaned. “Oh my god, you never told me you could cook” he would have been embarrassed if it weren’t for the fact that he was eating the most delectable meal of his life. You simply huffed a laugh, taking a bite of your own dinner, “I never told you I couldn’t.”

Cheeky little minx.

“Besides, you’re always taking care of me and doting on me, Adrian.”

“It’s what I should be doing as a loving husband. You’re growing and feeding our child, sweetheart.”

You shook your head with a small smile. “I meant even before the baby, and you know it. Since the beginning of our relationship you’ve always cooked for me, taken care of me, done any silly little thing I’ve asked of you. But I fear I don’t tell you enough that I love you. Really, I love you, Adrian. I don’t think I could ever live a life without you in it.” He sat in silence, surprise splayed on his features. “And, I want to do the same for you. I want to cook for you, and take care of you, and do every silly little thing you ask of me. So I started with dinner, and we’ll go from there.”

Alucard felt a tear roll down his face, wiping away with shock. When had he started crying? He knows you love him, he’s always known that. He can tell in the way you speak to him, speak about him, the way you look at him. You remind him every day in your words and actions. But...the way you’re speaking to him now, and seeing you so pregnant with his baby, well he didn’t realize how much those words would mean to him until right now. You held out your hand to his, thumb sliding over the back of his hand. No words needed to be exchanged right now, just soft smiles and light touches.

He loved you, with everything in his heart. And he’d show you every day more and more.

#milk writes #adrian tepes #alucard #alucard x reader #castlevania #adrian tepes x reader #alucard tepes x reader #castlevania (2017)#milk flufftober #alucard my beloved

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babygirl-riley · 6 months

Note

I love angst, can I make a request? y/n having crush on Ghost and them finding out that he had a lover that died. Only if you are not busy 🥹 Thank you!

Ghostly Lover

Ghost has always been your major crush and before you can even tell him, he confides with you.

“Invisible machinery, these moving parts inside of me. Well theyve been shutting down for quite sometime. Leaving only rust behind.”

A/N: Omgggg you had me have so many ideas. So I hope this one was something you had in mind! Also I am never busy for request! I love having them 🖤🖤

Warnings: angst, like seriously pure angst, mentions of cancer, minor character death, soft!ghost, swearing

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst

You had liked Ghost for years now, ever since being introduced to the team. At first he was distant and never truly paid any attention to anyone. Which was fine. He would come and sit but never engage. After landing on the tarmac he would pace and be the first one out. It made everyone wonder if he had a lass back at home. He would deny which eventually you thought it was true.

You knocked on your captain’s office waiting for his gruff voice to beckon you in. You stepped in closing the door behind you. “Everthin’ alright Sargent?”

You nodded little nervous to even ask the question. But both Gaz and Soap asked and got shot down. Soap mentioned that you were basically Captain’s long lost daughter so maybe he would answer you. You also wanted an answer kill the rumors and he done with it.

“Yeah yeah Cap just have a question.” You started smiling as you took a seat in front of the desk.

Price looked over you before shaking his head. “Nope not my business.” You gave a quizzed look before opening your mouth and shutting it. “You ask Ghost not me.”

“How did you…”

Price looked up from his papers once more and sighed. “Kid I have been hearing non stop asking from Soap and Gaz randomly has an interest in it as well. It doesn’t take a donkey to know what’s going on.”

You sighed leaning back into the chair. “We tried he doesn’t give us an answer.”

Price frowned before placing his pen down and leaning in. “Sargent, sometimes when people don’t say anything means they don’t want no one to know. Maybe this is one of these moments. Leave the man be.”

So you left it at that, felt like an asshole and told Soap and Gaz the same. So everyone dropped it. It wasn’t until the past two years he became more involved with the team. Coming to bars. Playing cards. Everything up the nine yards. You and him particularly became closer. You noticed that he would be keeping an eye out for you on missions and the same thing for you. Making sure each other’s backs were covered.

You both would banter back and forth with each other. Playful always. Ghost isn’t the touch type however, small touches will be played against your clothes or pat on the shoulder. Something that he wouldn’t do around the others or to others. It just fed your mind more your crush turning into a like.

It wasn’t until now you wanted to tell him. Couldn’t hide it anymore. Both of you worked together and it was just getting harder and harder not to show it. Finally when the team went out for celebrations you asked him if he wanted a smoke. He agreed and followed you out.

It was quiet for a moment listening to the cars passing by. You inhaled the cigarette you held before exhaling. “I like you Ghost.” You mumbled.

It went quiet again, you damn near thought he didn’t hear you from the no response that was suppose to come after. You were about to leave it as that and move on, not even making eye contact with him. “You can’t.” He said quickly not looking at you as well.

You snapped your head up to him. “And why can’t I?” You sounded irritated and as you should have. What gives for him to tell you that you shouldn’t.

Ghost shook his head. “Because ya don’t need to, kid”

You stood there for a moment before shaking your head. “Why?”

Ghost looked up at you, reading your eyes. He has known that you liked him for awhile, deep down he did but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to tell you but at the same time he wanted to. You both stared for a moment before he inhaled. “‘Cause anyone that does dies and rather keep ya alive.”

Ghost didn’t move after you blinked couple of times. “Ghost I won’t…”

“Kid,” He looked away before taking an inhale of his cigarette. “‘M also in love with someone and I don’ think anyone can replace her.”

“Oh,” You said quietly, this is one of these moments, you could hear Price’s voice in the back of your mind. Despite that voice you sighed and mumbled. “Could have started with that.”

Ghost felt bad that all this time of showing he felt the same, now that it was brought up it was gone. Not gone that he didn’t feel anything but guilt. Guilt was hitting his chest. His wife. What would she think? What would she do? Ghost sighed. “Why all the subtle hints then?” You asked look at him.

There it was. He was hoping that it wouldn’t have gotten this far. For you to confess all that. “I don’t know.”

You scoffed. “This is embarrassing,” you punched the bridge of your nose. “Well I am going to go now. I will see you inside.”

Ghost looked back down at you, watching as you looked away, started to head out. He felt bad that you were embarrassed, he hated that he made you feel that way. “She’s been dead for couple of years,” You stopped in your tracks, slowly looked over at him. “Cancer, terminal fucking cancer,” He paused scoffing, he wanted to stop talking wanting to shut up. He has told no one besides Price. Price was the only one who knew. Now you do. “It’s not that ya not amazing ‘cause you are it’s just…”

“I’m not her.” You finished half smiling. “It makes sense,” He gave you a quick confused look, he thought there was going to be a slap or yell but you were calm, happy? “You would be so anxious to leave years ago and just the last couple it’s like you never want to leave.”

Ghost looked away, shrugged, and sighed. “When you joined she was diagnosed, so getting home to her so I could spend time…it was important to me,” Ghost didn’t look at you the whole time. Looking ahead of him or to the side. “I wish I could move on, I’ve tried. She told me to, to move on and find someone. Just can’t.”

You frowned and nodded, your heart hurting for him. “I’m sorry LT.”

Ghost sighed. “Doesn’ matter anymore, kid. I just don’t want you to chase something that isn’t worth chasin’”

It was quiet for a moment, listening to the surroundings. “You would be to me but I won’t because your heart belongs to her and I won’t get in the middle of that.”

Ghost was shocked in his head. You respecting his boundaries and saying that made him respect you. Ghost nodded as he looked down at you. God he wish he could move on, your personality was similar to his lost lover. Deep down he missed the soft touches, the going out, the laughter, the warmth of someone he called home. He just couldn’t. You weren’t her. And you planned on not being her. Which he appreciated.

“Ya find someone who will want to. It’s just not me.” He said trying to sound encouraging.

You sighed and nodded. “Maybe Soap?” You smirked knowing how he would respond.

Ghost almost choked his cigarette. “Not that bloke. Let me look around before ya knee deep in mud yeah?”

You chuckled and shook your head. “No this isn’t your game to play Ghost. Besides I am a big girl you know.” You said patting his chest before heading inside.

Ghost shook his head and chuckled lowly. “‘Ight but don’t come cryin’ to me if he does somethin’ crazy.”

You put your hand on the handle of the bar. Inside you were sad not only being rejected but because Ghost was in pain that you couldn’t understand. You haven’t been through that pain yet. So you couldn’t understand but you can be there for him. “Ghost,” He locked eyes with you. “If you want to talk more about anything I am here for you.”

Ghost’s mind raced, he could just go on a couple of dates. Maybe explore this. Just his heart ached knowing that it could have been his ex-wife. The whole time he would imagine it was her, thinking about her smile and not yours. Ghost just nodded as you walked inside.

However, he can’t go chasing after ghosts yet he will always be chasing after hers.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #call of duty modern warfare #simon ‘ghost’ riley #call of duty #call of duty mw2 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost #call of duty simon riley #call of duty simon ghost riley #simon x reader #simon “ghost” riley #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon ghost riley x female reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you

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harlowsbby · 9 months

Note

Can you write something about Jack have a sore throat and having to baby him back to health?

Someone Like U

*Ring* *Ring*

You groaned hearing the sound of the bell that Urban had gifted Jack earlier that morning when he stopped by with a few of the other guys.

Jack had a sore throat and even though many people have or have had sore throats Jack still somehow acted as if it was the end of the world.

*Ring* *Ring* *Ring*

“I’m coming! Stop ringing the damn bell already.”

You yelled and the ringing stopped, You grabbed a bowl and poured some of your famous chicken soup inside and also grabbed him a pack of crackers and some water and started making your way upstairs.

As you made your way upstairs you carefully tried your best to balance the tray that was in your hand, when you finally made it you sighed in relief.

Upon hearing the bedroom door creaking open Jack’s head appeared from the pile of pillows that laid near your headboard.

He gave you a faint smile as he tossed the bell somewhere on the bed resulting in it to ring till it stopped rolling, you glared at him as he smiled at you.

“I’m gonna break that bell I hope you know that.”

He shrugged his shoulders and grabbed his pen and paper and scribbled something on it before holding it up so you can read it.

‘If you do that I won’t give you kisses’

It read on the paper and you laughed. “Whatever you know you’re the one that can’t even go five minutes without kissing me.” He rolled his eyes playfully at you and pointed to the soup.

“You hungry?” He nodded his head. You carefully got some soup on the spoon, you blew it a little before lifting it up to his mouth, you watched as he parted his lips before wrapping them around the spoon.

“Is it good?” You questioned he rubbed his stomach and gave you a thumbs up.

“How does your throat feel?” You asked him and patiently waited as he wrote down his answer on the paper.

‘It doesn’t feel as sore anymore, when I swallow it doesn’t hurt.’ He wrote on the paper.

“That’s good, but you know what.” You told him and he looked at you with his eyebrows raised waiting for you to finish.

“I kinda like it when you can’t talk it’s nice and peaceful.” You joked and giggled as he rolled his eyes at you and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’m just kidding stop acting like a baby.” He pouted and wrote something else on his paper.

‘But I’m your baby.’ He wrote.

“That you are now come on and finish this soup before it gets cold.” You fed the rest of the chicken soup to Jack and he ate a few crackers when he finished you went to take everything downstairs but he tugged on your arm, pulling you back into the bed.

“What’s wrong? I’m just taking these down real quick.” He searched around the bed for his pen and paper but couldn’t find it anywhere.

“Stay please just leave them there.” He managed to croak out. You placed the dirty dishes on the chair that sat in your room before joining Jack in bed.

He immediately moves his body next to yours and wraps his arms around you pulling you closer into his chest.

“Well you’re talking now your throat must feel a bit better?” He shrugged his shoulders his eyes tiredly looking into your eyes. “Barley babe.” He croaked out making you coo.

Jack hated getting sick but even though his throat was feeling a bit better he had to admit he loved getting this extra one on one time with you and he was in no rush to admit he felt better.

“Take a nap yeah? When you wake up we can shower and watch movies.” He simply nodded and laid his head on your shoulder before falling asleep.

It was around 5pm when Jack had woken up from his nap he looked down seeing you fast asleep on his chest.

“Thank you.” He whispered and kissed the top of your head. He was thankful he had someone like you to look after him and to come home to.

He placed his head above your head and tightened his grip on you, he loved having you wrapped up in his arms. He soon fell back asleep to the sound of your soft snores.

(I hope you like it anon 😭💘)

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n

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quiteliterallyilliterate · 4 months

Note

If you are open to requests, I would like to request anything with Fae!Hyrule or maybe a feral Fae!Hyrule (follows classic Fae rules, protect your name, don’t thank a Fae, don’t make a deal, etc) , or even a cute fluffy Fae!Hyrule X Reader fic. There just isn’t enough fairy Hyrule, especially X reader fics, they are practically nonexistent. I just read your last post of a fairy/malice Hyrule X reader and am hooked. Your previous work has fed my obsession, thank you 🙏 .

Order up!

Sorry that this ended up taking so long! Just wanted to make sure everything worked out. This unintentionally got really long and i didn’t wanna convolute things as I intend to do. Special thanks to @litrllyvoid who proofread this.

Hope you enjoy~

tw: Dementia loosely described

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Your mother always told you that you were blessed. You’d watch from your little stool as she weaved her fabrics, shuttle passing through the rungs of yarn with precision. Her words were low and hushed, embellishing every word with an air of mystery. You were six months old, she said. The forests were cold and menacing as they still were, and within those woods, she sung. An odd act many of the people now would warn against for the very same reason she did it. The fae. Tricksters of the woods with sharp tongues and sly deals, your mother had them bless you. Now, you see the price. While you never were injured as a child and never fell ill, your mother took the brunt of your illnesses. She sat now in her rocking chair, hands too worn to use her loom as her mind withers. Wrapped in the great blankets she used to weave, she doesn’t remember that she made them. She doesn’t recall who she used to be. You read her books about the fae sometimes and her tall tale is all she ever mentions anymore. The small smile she has is all that’s left of her —truly her— anymore. So, with a book, a green cloak and some payment, you set off into the forest with the hopes of recovering what’s since been lost.

You’ve since grown increasingly thankful for your cloak, the furry lining keeping you blessedly warm as the fog only grows thicker and thicker. The light begins to dwindle from your path despite it only being sometime around noon. The birds are gone now. Their chitters and chortles are replaced by wind whispers and the quiet sway of your breath. You stop at an odd formation of rocks stuck in the ground, crocus and clover flowers blooming around the edge of each rock that forms the circle. Carefully you step in, leaving a velvet bag of silver coins as payment for your intrusion. The air stands still and the humidity increases, each breath uncomfortable.

“Hello there” The voice is as cautious as you feel, and yet clearer than your vision at the moment. You turn to see a thin, scruffy looking boy, brown-blonde waves of hair tousled like a sea of their own. His head is tilted to the side, hazel eyes combing over you carefully. He holds out a hand in expectations. You hesitate as you hand him the bag, especially as his thin lips twitch towards a frown. “I do not want your money” He shakes his head, his nose crinkling at its bridge.

“Wh-“ You turn fully now to face him and he doesn’t feel as scary as the stories paint his kind to be, perhaps that makes them even more terrifying. “Then what do you want?” His lips part to a tight smile, the edges of his teeth showing, you can’t tell from where you stand if they’re pointed.

“Your mother could sing, couldn’t she?” A chill skitters down your spine as his deceptively innocent voice calls. You don’t even dignify him with a response, suddenly feeling unwelcome on the grass you stand. “My mentor actually dealt with it— not me” He chuckles at the end of his words, complimenting them like birdsong does to sunrise. “We love a good song you know” You can’t for the life of you tell what it’s supposed to mean, what he intends behind the simple words. And yet his pointed ears wiggle as he smiles reassuringly, as if you weren’t bargaining over a life.

“That’s the thing-“ You choke over the words, feeling yourself root down to your cause. “She’s unwell because-“ Looking at his curious eyes picking you apart, you feel bad at the sentiments you hold. It feels as if your mind is being mixed, and yet there’s nothing apparently wrong. “Because of the deal. I want to know how to fix it.” You’re unsure exactly of how you managed to keep your voice so even, but the boy in front of you buys into it. He nods in acknowledgement before his lips pursed, his sharp cupid bow shifting.

“An eye for an eye” The wind picks up, ruffling the trees. Suddenly the small boy in front of you no longer feels nearly as harmless. “A life for a life, one must understand.” His eyes close and he sinks in on his feet, speaking so calmly of mortality. Truly because his kind holds so much over it “To save yours, she sacrificed her own. That cannot be easily undone” His words make you sink as well. Nothing to be done. Not even for the ones who’ve done it. “Be not afraid. There is a solution” His smile is back, tight and lacking the warmth of a human. “A life for a life.” He giggles, as if the words were funny “Say you managed to bear me a child- Oh that won’t do. Too cliche. And horribly disrespectful” A freckled hand curls around the base of his chin as he ponders. “Are you unwed?” His eyes glint with a silvery light that you failed to see before. In the pure shock of the moment, you shake your head, shuffling back slightly. “Really? Wow- Sorry. If you are willing to spend the remainder of your life with me, I will save your mother. Only if we are married —wholly married, not simply for the sake of the spell— then will I save your mother. You'll still be able to visit and what not, but you'll live with me, as is proper.” He holds a hand out to you, and your fingers twitch at your side.

“Uh-“ You sip in some of the uncomfortably humid air and feel your head get lighter. An eye for an eye. Your life for hers. She was a good woman, one of unfortunate circumstances. Feeling calloused hand meet your own sealed your fate to something you could only hope to be respectable. The fae aren’t known for breaking deals. Nor are they known for breaking their pacts. Till death do you part, afterall.

#yandere link x reader #linked universe #link x reader #yan!link #yandere linked universe #lu x reader #fae!hyrulexreader #fae!hyrule

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luvth0t · 2 years

Text

OLD HABITS ━ C.L

in which you and charles fall back into old habits, but is it for better or worse?

warnings; angst, smut and fluff !! toxicity central but we love em for it, frustrating charles and reader, mentions of french gp, insecure and sad charles, arguments, alcohol, mentions of alcohol as a coping mechanism, drunk confessions, thigh riding, unprotected sex, choking, degradation, praise, oral sex, love making oOo

part two to sex and regret, read part one here

the last time, charles had sworn. this was the last time he’d ever find himself climbing up these damn stairs.

a box in hand, full of all your stuff he could find ━ all your stuff that he hadn’t had the courage to pack away over the years, never getting to that point even in your time apart, never trusting himself to return your things with the intention of never seeing you again.

but that had changed now. he couldn’t forgive himself for ruining everything you had built for yourself, then leaving you high and dry. so this was the end.

you hadn’t come calling or reached out, not even to yell or scold him for being such an asshole. he was kind of hoping to face your anger, wanting so desperately to know how you had coped.

how you were when he was beating himself up and drowning in self hatred for the way he had ruined things with you again. he had hurt you again.

he couldn’t do it anymore.

he knocked at your door, the usual sense of anxiety and dread one he was used to as he rocked on the balls of his feet, awaiting for you to open up. if you did. he was expecting some resistance, to be ignored at first; not that it mattered.

he knew you’d let him in eventually.

what he didn’t expect was for the door to fly right open, revealing a less than impressed you; blank facial expression, staring back at him.

you looked tired. fed up. nothing like you did just a week ago when he had left you in the bathroom of the club, but what could he expect when you were definitely going through a break up that was his fault.

he waited for you to speak, to scream at him; curse him out, tell him to leave, question why he was here. but nothing.

“i uh, wanted to bring your stuff over.” charles realised you weren’t going to say anything, his own lips pursing as he glanced between the box and you ━ your own eyes adverting to it as well.

you had taken a sharp breath, having not assumed it would be your belongings because you didn’t want them. you didn’t want anything from him. anything from him if you didn’t get him for yourself, not even if it was yours to begin with.

you stayed silent, stepping aside and motioning to the ground next to the front door of your apartment, a gesture telling him to put the box down as you looked at him expectantly.

just when charles thought he had predicted any possible encounter, he didn’t at all expect you to give him the silent treatment. his shoulders dropping, quick realisation that he wasn’t happy with you giving him absolutely nothing ━ even if he knew he deserved it.

“can we at least talk?” charles grumbled, attempting to not sound as bothered as he was, your jaw tensing at the question, shaking your head quickly as you resisted the urge to laugh at him.

always wanting to fucking talk.

“no.” your voice was quiet, shaking your head again in persistence as you glanced to the box of your things again, arm still pointing towards the spot on the ground where you wanted.

he had huffed, taking a moment to figure out how to go about this. he wasn’t here to argue. he never intends to argue with you. but you just got to him so easily.

“come on y/n,” the monegasque sighed out ━ trying so hard to sound convincing, to sound as if you were being unreasonable. as if you had no reason to not want to speak to him.

he knew you shouldn’t talk. knew it wouldn’t get him anywhere. heck he even tried to tell himself while he drove here that he’d keep conversation minimal.

but that all went out the window when he realised you didn’t want to talk. you should. you should want to talk to him, he wanted you to want answers. he wanted what he can’t have.

“i have nothing to say to you.” you snapped this time, and while the words were not one bit comforting, charles found comfort in knowing you weren’t giving him a fake act anymore. “anything that leaves your mouth is bullshit.”

charles rolled his eyes, the anger and annoyance bubbling within him that only you seemed to bring out; anger and annoyance that should be directed towards himself but you were an easier target.

“it doesn’t have to always be like this.” charles huffed, moving to grip the box with one arm as the other ran through his hair, a nervous habit he just had to do. he couldn’t help but despise how willing you were to get hostile, how your defence mechanism was one that only got himself riled up as well.

you laughed this time, eyes leaving him so you wouldn’t give in to his want to speak too much, so you wouldn’t give too much away.

“don’t give me that.” you were quick to shut down any attempts of his to guilt you into feeling bad for having your walls up. “i know what this means. i don’t need to hear your shitty excuses or reasoning behind it.” you ranted, eyebrows raising to challenge him. daring him to tell you that you were wrong.

the moment he leaves you were sure you’d be sobbing over the fact he was making a move so definite as giving you your belongings, removing any excuse to see him again; cutting final ties, taking that last step neither of you had been able to before.

“right, you’re just gonna assume the worst and run with it?” charles got on the defensive, challenging you right back even though you were right, it was nothing he wouldn’t have told you before. but still, he meant it this time. he wanted to at least.

“fine.” your arms raised then hit your side, the driver slightly taken back as he watched you step aside to make room for him to come inside. “come in. tell me why you can’t do this anymore, apologise for hurting me again. lie to my face, anything to make you feel better about yourself charles.”

it was dig after dig, sarcasm dripping from every word as your offer had charles suddenly wanting to be the one to not talk, his jaw ticking as he shook his head ━ regardless, he wasn’t going to back down, a forced smile on his features as he walked inside your apartment.

“you can’t handle the truth. can’t blame that on me.” he deflected, unfairly shifting the blame onto the failed attempts to stay true to his words on your, well aware he was as much at fault for doing the opposite of what he says.

“what truth?” your question wasn’t one from genuine curiosity, purely not wanting to be on the back foot in the conversation, quick with your tongue as your eyes burned holes into the back of his head, watching as he dropped the box against a random wall outlining your flat.

“that this will never work.” charles spoke the obvious, sounding exasperated as he turned to face you; eyes wide as if he was begging for you to hear him, as if he was the only one able to recognise that conclusion.

despite your guard fully up, his words still stung; they always would ━ nothing hurt more than the fact that things just didn’t work between the pair of you.

“i know that!” you almost yelled back, face matching his with your desperate eyes because you too wanted him to hear you, not at all under a false impression that things between the pair of you could go back to the way they used to be. that it could be anything more than pleasure and heartache.

“then don’t fucking give me shit for doing the hard thing,” charles voice had raised in volume, but it didn’t phase you in the slightest ━ a scoff being heard as you rolled your eyes again.

you didn’t even regret inviting him, arguing with him didn’t stress you anymore. didn’t stress anymore either. the only thing that felt easy these days, a poor and unfortunate security of communication between the pair of you.

“the hard thing?” you hummed in fake interest, head tilting to the slide which had his face turning stoic. “the hard thing is actually staying away charles. and you couldn’t fucking do it.” you hissed, watching as your toxic lover shook his head in immediate denial despite there only being truth to your words.

he hated how you acted as if you weren’t guilty of the same. as if you had never rocked up on his doorstep needy and sad, or rang his phone drunk alone.

“yeah? well i’m going to this time,” charles spoke simply now, deciding against trying to defend himself and instead just have his words hit home, not missing the way your face faltered for a mere second. you recovered as quick as ever, unbothered expression returning as quick as it left.

but charles knew you too well, knew that what sounded like a promise definitely terrified you as much as it did him. could tell by the way your lips twitched and eyes averted.

“yeah okay.” you spoke in fake belief, nodding way too convincingly and once more charles was growing annoyed. he was doubting himself but he wanted to mean it this time. wanted you to believe him, needed you to be under the impression he was done for good; for your own sake.

“i mean it.” charles huffed, arms crossing over his chest as his eyes stayed glued to your figure, desperately wanting to make you crack; except all he got was an amused smile, watching as you stopped yourself from laughing and looked away from him.

“heard it all before charles,” you sighed out, truly at a stage where you just accepted that things weren’t changing. almost at a point where you were willing to continue the torturous cycle of nights together and days sneaking off from one another, maybe because you knew being with anyone else wouldn’t work.

that maybe whatever you had with charles was the best you’re going to get.

“this is different.” charles grumbled, eyes darting to your things on the floor, which after your doubt was starting to seem like a false sense of security for him to believe himself, a gesture to convince himself he meant the words he was speaking.

“right. until when? until i find someone else? until you fuck up on track again?” you wondered aloud, all sense of a filter lost and it was clear to charles you were taking the anger approach rather than upset one, clearly not dwelling over the way he had treated you last week.

charles had so many things he wanted to say; maybe get even, point out all your unhealthy habits as well. remind you that you weren’t innocent yourself, that you’d be dialling his number whenever the next friend of yours gets engaged. or how you’d be at his doorstep the next time you have an extra hard day at work.

he wanted to assure you that you were wrong, that he’d find other ways to numb any pain he feels in the mere future, that he could manage alone; much unlike you who resorted into a cringey relationship.

but he couldn’t, not having enough confidence in proving you wrong because he wasn’t entirely sure you were, hating how he couldn’t be so certain with his thoughts.

“why’d you want to come in hm? wanna fuck again? say it’s the last time, give us closure?” you jumped at the opportunity to talk instead of him, a few steps forwards him had him well aware of the dangerous territory you were entering. “even though we both know damn well it wouldn’t be the last time,”

suddenly you were right in front of him, cocky smirk plastered on your features and charles was struggling to clear his mind that had been sent into a haze with you in such close proximity, the smell of your perfume almost enough to have him folding.

he was better than that though, for the most part at least; he had no intentions to end up in your bed this time.

“last week was the last time.” charles told you, looking down at you now, speaking with so much conviction that you would’ve believed him if you didn’t know any better.

but of course you saw right through him, your smile only growing as your hands moved to rest on his shirt ━ charles immediate thought was to push you away, but he couldn’t; his hands had no want to rid yours off him.

“yeah okay,” you spoke out, eyes staring up at him as your hands sprawled over his clothed torso lightly, tongue poking your cheek for a moment. “you can leave then right?”

charles didn’t even realise when his hands had moved to grip your waist but they had, body subconsciously wanting to make sure you didn’t pull away from him anytime soon, his eyes staring right back at yours.

he can leave. he should leave. he really should, heck you were even giving him the opportunity to do so.

“was hoping to get a box of my things back too.” charles told you, hoping that maybe if he got back to where this visit started he may be brought to his senses. maybe you’d be brought to yours, the sexual tension that never fails to occur could hopefully be put to bed ━ and not literally.

“threw all your shit out last week.” you shrugged right back, mason having visited to grab his things having enlighten a different fury inside of you.

his comments hitting a bit too close to home about you and charles, about how it was ‘all for nothing,’ that you didn’t ‘know your worth. it’s pathetic.’

‘you aren’t sorry. only person you’re sorry for is yourself,’

‘the pair of you were made for each other.’

many digs at yourself and your situation with charles, and you couldn’t even blame him considering he had literally heard you cheat on him over the phone.

so after mason grabbed his things you found every item that once belonged or reminded you of the monegasque and dumped it in the trash.

“right.” charles breathed out with a nod, almost wanting to laugh at how typical that was from you, not able to get mad. nothing out of character from you; throwing his shit down the stairs, off the balcony once.

all deserved not that he’d admit it. and he also wouldn’t admit it was reassuring to know you cared enough to still get so frustrated.

“anything else?” you were acting way too civil right now, confirming to charles you had other plans than to argue; in no way, shape or form would you happily let him leave without another word.

and in no way, shape or form would charles walk out that door without another word. not when you were in his grasp, when you were staring up at him with big eyes that he just couldn’t resist.

he was still confused, confused as to why you did this to yourself. how you could look so shattered last week when he walked out on you; but now look so willing to give him the opportunity to do it again. it made him feel guilty, shitty for letting you reduce your standards so low.

“leave charles go on.” you taunted, actions and words not aligning as your finger tips slipped under his shirt. “this is different yeah?” you were mocking him now, causing him to tense once more; from your words or touch he wasn’t sure.

charles stood no chance, you too much of a temptation to deny, too much of a reward to care about any sense of pride. he wants to blame lust but it’s more than that, it always has been; the reasoning behind both you and him breaking promises and backtracking on your words not able to be explained but mutually understood.

“if you want me to fuck you chérie, just ask.” charles practically snapped ━ one of his hands cupping your cheek roughly as he raised his eyebrows, stare intense and you knew you had him, the smirk that formed on your lips only infuriating him further.

“you’re going to fuck me.” you corrected, the innocent smile you gave him could kill him if he dwelled on it too long, no wonder he was so stuck on you. “that’s why you’re still here.”

you watched as his eyes darted from your own eyes to your lips, his mind ticking away as his jaw clenched; a huff leaving his mouth the last thing you heard befofe he had pulled you in roughly for a kiss.

the eventual moment of content reaching the pair of you, the past minutes spent arguing suddenly worth it as you resorted to back to what felt best. what you both knew best.

you had come to the conclusion that you weren’t willing to have none of charles, so you’d have to settle for some. plus; you were sick pretending as if this was not how it would always end between the pair of you.

you let him push you back until you hit the nearest wall, something to lean against most certainly coming in handy as your hands cupped his cheeks, attempting to keep up with the rough and heated kiss that was as messy as the pair of you.

your hands left his face, wanting to return to his shirt although he was quick to stop you, hands finding yours before you could even tug on the material, gathering your wrists within one hand and pressing them above your head with ease, the sudden movement pulling a gasp from you.

“always gotta prove something hm?” charles quizzed, towering over you as his whole body practically pressed against yours into the wall, your lips parting to speak but the closeness of him was making it difficult to form words.

he noticed this, a sense of relief almost that he’d managed to flip this ━ one kiss and you were the one flustered, when moments ago he was struggling beyond his life.

“just telling the truth.” you huffed out, stare not faltering despite not holding eye contact as easily as you would’ve liked to be, struggling against his grip ━ not because you wanted to break free, just for the sake of it. in no rush to submit.

“you’re fucking infuriating,” charles breathed with a slight shake of his head; although what really infuriated him was himself, his inability to resist you. his inability to treat you right. nothing was easy with you.

except the sex. the sex was second nature.

the small smirk that grew on your features from his words went straight to his cock, his free hand moving to wrap around your throat lightly, his head ducking to press kisses to your jaw.

“should leave,” the driver mumbled out as he worked his way down your jaw, to the skin of your neck that wasn’t covered by his hand; tilting your head to his liking. “you should want me to leave,” he added in a grumble, nipping at your skin lightly which had you whimpered as your head attempted to tilt back, no use against his grip.

there was weight to his words, much bigger meaning than him simply leaving your apartment in this moment, although the latter still applied.

you knew he was right. you should want him to leave, you shouldn’t have even let him in. but you were done lying to yourself about what you wanted, willing to accept such little for the time being, until you got too attached again, where you’d be forced to distance yourself.

“you should hate me.” charles huffed out, hot breath on your skin as he pushed his leg between your thighs; you could already feel where he had left a trail of marks and bites on your neck, unable to complain as small breaths and whines escaped your throat.

“i do.” you lied through gritted teeth, hands attempting to free from his grip once more as he chuckled, head lifting once more to look at you; doubt filled eyes purely because he knew you weren’t telling the truth.

he’d much rather you hated him. maybe if you hated him, he wouldn’t be able to come back, be forced to move on. to get over you. but he had a non false sense of security that one way or another you’d let him back in. you’d forgive him. make an excuse.

he knew this cause he does the same for you. he couldn’t bring himself to hate you despite his friends encouraging him to, couldn’t speak a bad word about you to his manager and trainer who have one too many times tried to convince him in getting over you.

charles didn’t even need to reply, lips pressed against yours again and you were needly kissing back this time, attempting to lean forward to feel as much as him as you could with your body due to your hands still he restrained, but his hold around your neck simply tightened ━ pushing you back against the wall.

maybe charles wasn’t letting you touch him because he still had a bit of faith in himself, maybe he could end this here. walk out, don’t look back. do the hard thing. that was entirely out of the equation the moment you got your hands on him again.

“charles please,” you practically whined into his mouth, hands attempting to break free for what felt like the 100th time, and the monegasque knew he stood on chance. he didn’t have the power, nor want, to deny you no longer.

“merde,” he muttered; hands letting you go completely just to grab at your thighs; hoisting you up quickly ━ your legs and arms quick to wrap around him, a penny dropping of both relief and excitement in both of you.

your fingers tangled through his hair, legs wrapped tight around his torso as the kiss became one of passion; unspoken agreement that this was happening again, and neither of you were going to complain about it no more. not right now at least.

you had barely noticed you were moving, charles navigating your apartment with ease like he had so many times before despite your lips still connected to yours as his full attention on your body, swift move to the couch, only realising you had moved when he sat down and brought you with him.

making the most of a make out session didn’t last, never does; only taking a couple minutes before your hips were attempting to grind over his, ghosted by a bruising grip of his hands and the small grunts of appreciation he continued to make, his hard on now impossible to ignore.

he beat you to it however, when you wanted things to progress, his hands moving your body so that you were straddling only one of his legs; and you had been with him plenty of times to know where this was going.

“really?” you breathed out, hesitantly pulling away from the kiss to try catch your breath, eyes pouring down into his as he nodded in certainty; and you wanted to roll your eyes, expecting the lack of sex between the pair of you would decrease his patience.

“you’re so adamant that i’m going to fuck you, wanna see you work for it,” charles shrugged ━ hands travelling to your ass where he laid a small tap of encouragement, your cheeks heating and eyes actually rolling this time at his words.

although then his grip on your ass tightened, pressing your hips down so your clothed clit brushed against the material of his jeans, your oversized t-shirt having ridden up your legs, the moan that left your lips slightly strained.

he was practically glowing, oozing cockiness now, eyebrows raising in expectance; giving you an opportunity to argue, but of course you didn’t take it considering you could feel his hands on you.

plus with your lace thong being the only thing separating your cunt from his jean cladded thigh, the feeling was too good to ignore, even with the idea of his fingers, tongue or cock in mind.

your hands moved to the hem of his shirt as you began to rock your hips, tugging the material up his body before he took over and shrugged it over his head, discarding in beside the pair of you before his hands were folded behind his head.

he didn’t miss the small frown on your lips from the lack of physical contact on his behalf, your hips dragging along his thigh repetitively, the small whispers and sighs you were making his hard on become more prominent, aching to be freed from his jeans.

“don’t pout.” charles huffed, a flex of his thigh causing a sudden louder moan to escape you quickly. “can’t help but want to see you so desperate for me amour,” he breathed out; your cheeks heating as your hips started to speed up, certainly making a mess over his jeans.

you kept quiet, pout remaining on your lips as you decided to just admire the view ahead of you, knowing complaining wouldn’t get you anywhere as your hands pawed at his skin ━ running over his toned abdomen and chest, although you approached the point where your own movement and grinding wasn’t enough.

charles recognised this quickly however, his hands now finally touching you ━ finding your hips and guiding your movements now with his free hand, pressing you further down, clit repeatedly dragging against his material, your moans becoming more frequent now.

“please charles,” second plea of the night and charles was already ready to give you everything you asked for, breath hitching as he watched you get off on nothing but his thigh; nails digging into your skin, resting under your shirt.

but you just looked so pretty like this, face contorted in pleasure; body rolling so perfectly on top of him. he couldn’t take his eyes off you, suddenly the memory of intending to just talk to you sounded ridiculous. how could he ever pass this up? ever promise to not come back to it.

“see, you can be good mon ange,” charles sighed out in slight awe, before he was fiddling with the hem of your shirt before tugging it off your body; leaving you in your bra and underwear and a perfect sight for himself. “just gotta rough you up a bit first yeah?” he was smirking now, hands coming back down your body; brushing over the marks he had left around your neck before returning to guide your hips.

you were moaning at his words now, nodding ever so slightly as if it would woo him over and he could touch you properly. while you knew from experience you could get off on his thigh alone, you knew you’d cum harder from the likes of his fingers.

“want you,” you huffed out, impatience growing due to the growing arousal, sure to have formed a wet patch on his jeans as you tried to chase your high which seemed so far away, inching ever so closer when he’d flex his thigh or put pressure on your hips.

“can tell. making a mess all over my pants like a fucking whore,” charles replied, watching as the heat raised up your neck and your cheeks, your eyes fluttering shut to avoid his gaze, although you were well aware of one of his hands leaving your body to cup your cheek. “look at me.”

that was short lived, eyes quickly opening to look at him, a small whimper being heard from you as you did so ━ hips still rutting away, charles mouth practically watering at the sight.

“my pretty girl,” his praise was a contrast to the words he had just spoken, barely above a whisper but you heard him loud and clear as he stared at you intently, ignoring the familiar butterflies from his simple words, jaw hanging open as your breathing was heavy. “wanna ride me yeah? that’s what you’re whining for?”

you nodded quickly, small huff from the continuous taunts ━ you had noticed his hard on, which you could easily brag about considering you had barely touched him. but you knew he’d edge you to next thursday if you at all tried to be bratty. and he wasn’t wrong, so badly you wanted more of him.

“please,” you almost cried out, your cunt clenching around nothing ━ his thumb caressing your cheek doing little to ease the ache you had for him, although the sight of him retracting his hands completely to unbuckle his jeans and free himself had your heart jumping.

your hand was quick to replace his, sitting still on his thigh now as you jacked him off a couple times, charles hissing as your thumb spread the pre-cum over his tip; you couldn’t help but smile lazily, knowing damn well you still had such an effect on him.

you were quick to cooperate when charles rid you of your soaked and ruined panties, then helping you reposition yourself on his lap before you were sinking down onto his cock, sliding down with ease due to your time spent riding his thigh.

“oh fuck,” you moaned, biting down harshly on your bottom lip as your arms wrapped around his neck; fingers scratching over the hair on the nape of his neck, charles groan mixing in with yours as he let you set the pace to begin with.

you took a moment to get used to the stretch while charles hands traveled to your back, unclasping your bra ━ adding it to the pile of clothes that had formed around you.

“there you go doll,” charles rasped when you started to move up and down, riding his dick as you had done his thigh moments earlier, hand moving to the back of your hair to bring your lips to his in another kiss.

you were moaning into his mouth as the kiss was heated, lazier than the first you two shared as your hips moved up and down; bouncing on his cock quickly.

you struggled to kiss back when his free hand snaked between your bodies, finding your sensitive clit had you whimpering, eyes fluttering shut once more.

“say you hate me but you sure love this dick hm,” charles grunted, hand leaving your hair to hold your hip down ━ his own hips now lifting to thrust up into you, which had your eyes rolling back; nodding at his words blindly. “such a slut for me, can’t help yourself can you?”

you shook your head now, body bouncing with every thrust and movement he made ━ your jaw agape permanently as the moans continued to fall, growing in volume; sure to be letting all your neighbours know your toxic lover had returned.

“can’t━ can’t hate you,” you whimpered out; well aware he knew that but in the heat of the moment you wanted to clarify, and hearing you say it out loud had charles breathing a little easier, his harsh grip of your hair turning into a delicate hold, fingers running through the strands, a contrast to the way he was pounding into you.

“i know,” he breathed out, hand now sprawling down your back, feeling every inch of skin he could; fingers rubbing circles on your clit enough to have you seeing stars, shamefully approaching your high incredibly quickly. but that was always the way with ‘makeup’ sex.

“can tell your close baby, come on, always cumming so quick for me yeah” charles encouraged ━ basically cooing in your ear as your head fell onto his shoulder, his own orgasm at the back of mind despite feeling you squeeze around him; he wanted nothing more than to feel and see you fall apart above him.

and that you did, cumming on his dick a feeling you’d never get sick of, head falling back and charles groaned from the sight alone ━ the way his name fell from your lips sounding better each time, not slowing down his thrusts to ensure you felt and enjoyed every moment of your high.

“get on your knees.” his words didn’t register at first, mind in a haze despite only one orgasm deep ━ your body definitely still not used to the mind blowing sex despite that one time in the club together, having forgotten how to cope with charles stamina.

you then realised he had stopped moving, meeting his expectant eyes your cheeks heated again, already flushed from your body being on fire ━ the small grunt he let out going straight to your core.

“fucked stupid already love?” charles taunted, hand moving to tangle and tug on your hair, the small whimper you let out doing little to phase him considering your cunt squeezed around him from the movement, causing him to his. “on your knees.”

you were quick now, scrambling off him and settling between his legs, charles breathing irregular now at the sight below him; and when you took him in your mouth fully his head fell back, a loud groan heard from the driver.

“missed this fucking mouth,” he sighed out, eyes squeezing shut as you got to work, eager to please and draw his praise ━ considering you didn’t get the chance to last time. it had been way too long.

his moans were addictive, your own thighs squeezing together as you cleaned yourself off his dick in the process, tongue working expertly as you deepthroated him.

you began to gag and choke every few moments, the noises you were making only causing charles hips to push up ever so slightly, hitting the back of your throat and making your eyes water.

“good girl, there you go,” charles groaned, unexpectedly twitching in your mouth before cumming with little warning, but you were quick to swallow and lap up anything you could, both your own saliva and him gathered on the corners of your mouth and chin.

it didn’t end there, it never did. after he caught his breath which was not too long after you had moved to your room, and you lost count the amount of times he made you cum with his fingers and tongue.

regardless it was enough to tire the pair of you out, and while charles intended to leave the same day he came; it was the following morning and he was still wrapped up in your sheets, sleeping alongside you; you practically on top of him more so.

what neither of you knew that it may be the start of change, that unknowingly the pair of you might finally, just maybe, work things out.

it didn’t necessarily start that morning, because like usual you woke up first; a tug on the heartstrings when you realised you were laying on his chest, the sound of him breathing quite satisfying then utterly heartbreaking.

an old trick of yours, sneaking out of bed and heading straight to the bathroom, running the shower which without fail would always wake him up. then by the time you get out, he’d be gone; awkward conversation or arguing avoided and you wouldn’t see him till next time.

the first change, charles didn’t leave. he’s not sure what possessed him to do so; but instead of taking the opportunity to leave undetected, he found himself opening the bathroom door instead.

you had jumped, body under the hot water as you caught sight of his frame in the mirror, and while talking to him terrified you; being naked in front of him certainly didn’t.

“fucking hell,” you breathed out; hand placing over your chest as you turned to face him, water running down your back and soothing your tired body.

“sorry,” he had almost chuckled, attempting to keep his eyes at your eye level and not admire you, or his work from last night which was scattered over your skin.

“thought you’d be gone,” you couldn’t help but be honest, pursed lips as your hand brushed over your slicked back hair, charles shrugging, taking steps towards the shower as he shut the door behind him.

“well i did come here to talk,” charles pointed out ━ as if he was in here to talk, that was the last thing on his mind now. regardless, with a clear head and steam on your skin, the prospect of talking about the pair of you terrified you.

you knew he had came here with the intent to cut ties.

“right,” you hummed out, turning to face away from him; facing the water now as you let it hit your face, distracting yourself from the possible lurking conversation and argument clear to come. as if not looking at him would just make it all go away.

you heard movement but didn’t pay any mind, until you felt his lips on your shoulder blade; and hand on your hip; quite quickly realising he was behind you, having joined you under the water.

“don’t think we need to talk anymore though,” charles voice was quieter now that he was closer, kisses continuing as you’d leaned back into his chest ever so slightly, a content sigh leaving your lips.

“mhm?” you questioned out, moving to face him again ━ although this time you had to look up through your lashes to make eye contact, watching as he nodded with a small shrug.

“you said it yourself right, last night wasn’t the last time right?” he quirked a brow, a small smirk even tugging on his lips as relief flushed through your body; the pair of you seeming to be back on the same page. for the first time in a long time.

and while it wasn’t the preferred page it would work.

“i don’t know, you didn’t seem to be in agreement,” you had teased, smirk mirroring his as your arms moved up to wrap around his neck; stepping slightly closer, your tits pressing against his chest which had his breath caught in his throat, the hot water flicking onto his skin every few moments doing little to help.

“well i changed my mind.” he spoke quietly, and you didn’t need to reply; lips meeting his again for a passionate kiss.

back into old habits, like when the pair of you first split up. sex. just sex. no arguing. no loving. well, no typical loving. you’d still end up in his arms for the night, and maybe there’d be round two in the morning. or maybe one of you would leave before the other wakes up.

regardless, it was just sex. whenever convenient.

back into old traditions too, first place he’d come to after touching down in monaco after a race would be your apartment, no self hatred about it now because he knew you’d be waiting for him.

the pair of you knew it wouldn’t last forever, being hopelessly in love with him meant that this would only satisfy you for so long. soon you’d be craving more again, willing to take the risk again which would only backfire.

or maybe he’d pull the trigger first, and you’d be too scared again to trust him. then he could change his mind.

it’s all happened before, and while you thought that cycle had ended, this was just the beginning of it all over again.

but you were loving it, because after the whole mason stint and trying to find yourself without him attempts became a miserable fail, nights with him were all you needed.

because you were still his. and he was still yours. and you both knew it too.

so how could this be for the better? how could this be the start of change if it’s just history repeating itself?

gradually leaving before the other realised had become forbidden, an unspoken thing that now only occurred if you had places to be, messages or notes left to explain.

suddenly nights together lead to breakfast in the mornings. or you’d have dinner before getting on your knees for him.

or maybe you’d watch a movie first, then he’d have you screaming his name as you shook on his tongue. somehow, someway and for some reason, casual and activities were being done together again.

but regardless it would always lead and end at sex. the security blanket for the pair of you.

then you showed up at his apartment drunk. not necessarily something new for you, but in recent times you had no reason to drink ━ charles only being on the receiving end of your drunken words when things were sour between the pair of you.

so it was odd, you here practically incoherent when things had been somewhat smooth.

“hi!” you were grinning widely, almost stumbling inside, tripping over your own feet and thanks to his quick reactions times he had ahold of you quickly, a breathy laugh escaping his throat as an arm wrapped around your waist to steady yourself.

“amour how much have you drank?” he couldn’t help but ask as the stench of alcohol hit him, shutting the door as you frowned and leaned into his side ━ unimpressed with the lacklustre welcome.

“a little.” you huffed, head tilting back as you puckered your lips ━ charles unable to hold in his laughter as you desperately looked up at him, the driver pressing a short peck to your lips which had you frowning again. “kiss me properly.”

you sounded like a child, charles laughing and shaking his head. while drunk hook ups were common for the pair of you, they would occur if the both of you were drunk, tipsy more so; alcohol encouraging bad decisions really.

only a few times had he seen you this drunk, although the other times you’d been crying, not giggling or sulking.

“i did.” charles replied innocently, pressing another peck to your lips before attempting to move you to the lounge, a whine being heard from you as you stumbled over your own feet again ━ charles grip the only thing keeping you standing.

“no i want a kiss, a proper kiss,” you huffed, hands pawing at his shirt; his laughter ringing in your eyes as he managed to get you seated on the couch easily, the pout only growing on your lips at the lack of touch from him.

“what the fuck,” you whined, words slurred as you slumped back into the couch, watching as he disappeared into the kitchen. and while you wanted to follow you simply stayed put, head slightly spinning as your eyes focused ahead of you.

“you’re drunk ma chérie,” charles reappeared, glass of water in his hands not that it would do little to help you as he passed it to you, crouching slightly in front of you. “i’ll kiss you properly in the morning.”

the compromise still didn’t impress you, glaring at him as you took the drink, a small sip doing little to take any from the glass before you were attempting to put it on the table, almost falling in the process as charles quickly grabbed it from you and put it down instead.

“big night?” charles hummed innocently, attempting to hide his slight suspicion and curiosity. you didn’t get drunk off your face for no reason, he knew that - well most of the time at least. usually you’d be on the receiving end of his drunk words. or you’d be tipsy and he’d be too, and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other even if you’d be at each other’s throats the last time you spoke.

“i saw mason.” you huffed out, plans on not telling charles completely out the window considering the amount of shots you had done, and you were too far gone to notice the way his face went slack, jaw tending at the mention.

“mason?” charles confirmed, another attempt to not sound as interested as he was; some guilt for probing while you were under the influence. but he knew he didn’t need to question for you to be an open book.

“yeah,” you sighed, eyes shutting now as you leaned back into the couch, sudden tiredness hitting you which had charles snapped out of his selfish thoughts; standing up straight.

he hated that his first worry was still the worst. seeing him again impacted you that much? were you more into him than you let on? he thought you only drunk the pain away when it came to him.

“come on,” charles spoke up again, hands finding your arms and tugging you to your feet, another whine heard as now you were a dead weight in his arms, which had charles huffing ━ how could he forget how difficult you were when drunk.

“was comfy,” you complained, falling right into his chest as he shook his head ━ unable to stop himself from admiring you in the moment, glad you were unaware of the dumbfounded smile on his face as he quickly forgot about the few doubts you had just planted.

“my beds comfier,” charles told you certainly, hands scooping under your thighs and picking you up, your arms and legs, thankfully, wrapping around him happily so he could carry you to his room ━ your small giggle ringing in his ears.

“i know.” your tone was suggestive now, and for your own sake he luckily missed the miserable wiggle of your eyesbrows, regardless he was laughing again, face permanently smiling as he navigated his apartment.

if you were a fly on the wall you’d assume the pair of you were a happy couple, charles playing the role of your boyfriend so naturally, so willing to take care of you in the moment while some could argue it wasn’t his responsibly. but god it felt so right.

“mason thinks i’m stupid,” back to reality, words striking that worry in him that he couldn’t even be effected by your breath on his neck, stilling for a moment in the hallway ━ although he was quick to plaster on his unbothered approach.

“what’d he say?” charles didn’t try to be subtle, reaching his room now as he set you down on the bed; and he was left to hurry in grabbing you a shirt considering you were already headed straight for the sheets, suddenly keen to sleep.

“stupid for going back to you,” you recited his words in a long sigh, charles rolling his eyes with a small scoff that you didn’t pick up as he grabbed a t shirt for you, returning to your side as you looked up at him with big eyes. “no self respect he said.”

charles couldn’t muster any fake smiles on responses, only nodding with gritted teeth and a clenched jaw as he distracted himself with getting you changed, having to do all the work as he rid you of your shoes and tried to get your dress off you.

“told him he doesn’t know what it’s like to be in love,” word vomit, drunken confession that you weren’t phased by in your current state. drunk confessions were more charles things, so he visibly froze mid tug of your dress.

another change, the words didn’t terrify him. didn’t fill him dread, instead just some cheesy warm feeling inside, lips slightly turning upwards as he shook himself out of it. no he could not hold on to your drunk words.

“exactly,” the driver composed himself as he agreed with you, ridding your dress before managing to get the shirt over your head, you lazily raising your arms which was no real help as you gazed at him longingly.

“i do love you.” you sighed, eyes flicking over feature of his face ━ yet your intoxicated mind couldn’t distinguish the twitch of his lips and flicker of excitement in his eyes, or the way his cheeks tinted ever so slightly.

it had been so long since he had heard those words from you, too long. and god it sounded perfect. better than he remembered. for the first time in a long time his first thought wasn’t to tell you that you shouldn’t love him.

“you told me once you love me too much,” you were speaking before he could find the right response; quoting the call he had left you while you were still with mason. “but i don’t think there’s such thing.”

charles raised a brow, wanting to both shut you up and keep you talking, internal conflict as he placed your clothes aside and tugged the shirt down your body.

“what? i just love you the right amount?” charles decided to be playful, grinning which had you grinning as you sunk further into the bed, rolling onto your side to get comfy as you shook your head.

“you just love me.” you yawned, and once more charles found himself smiling like an idiot, attaching himself too much for your words which could not reflect at all where you were currently at but he didn’t care, crawling into bed alongside you after turning the light out. “i hope.” you quickly added.

“i do.” charles barely whispered, although you heard it, not that you’d remember it ━ practically climbing on top of him, getting situated for the night and charles thought he was dreaming. having you in his arms without having been inside of you, cute confessions and admirations being made.

fuck he missed it.

he wanted to do the cheesy thing, test out that popular theory where he spills his love for you when you wouldn’t remember it, but he decided against it.

that didn’t stop the many of thoughts however, he loved you. he wanted this all the time. he wanted you, all of you. again. he needed it actually.

and that didn’t scare him. what scared him was the fact he was thinking like this, scared that this was the beginning of the end once more ━ the start of the arguing once more, hiding feelings and confusion, terrified of being on a different wavelength than you.

so he kept quiet, you seemed to have forgotten of your drunk words, or you were just not mentioning them like he was, charles attempting to run away from his mind which was now almost overthinking every damn interaction.

he’d hold on just that little bit tighter when you were cuddling, stayed in your bed the morning after a few moments longer ━ stall as long as he could when he was in your company.

you didn’t seem to mind either, quite happily falling into both new and old habits with the driver; and once more things were smooth sailing, still uncharted territory being avoided.

then the french grand prix happened. you’d been watching, not that charles was aware you kept up to date with every race, and the sight of him in the barrier was hard enough.

the radio message killed you.

that extent of your frustration and heartache for him made you well aware that your attempts of ignoring your love for him had been to no prevail, wishing for nothing more than to be there for him with open arms.

the selfish part of you worried this could cause him to push you away; it had before, when things get tough he’d either come crawling to your bed or avoid you like the plague to dwell in self pity.

regardless no thoughts stopped you from texting him, something along the lines of ‘don’t be too hard on yourself.’

you were relieved to see him reply later in the evening, a pretty emotionless toned message telling you he’d changed his plans and was flying back to monaco tonight; your heart jumping at the fact he doesn’t seem to have the want to avoid you.

you wanted to be there for him in any way possible.

you asked what time he landed, and when he told you 3am you were suddenly wide awake. you were secretive about your decision in picking him up from the airport, not even considering the fact he may not even want to see you.

so that’s how you ended up at arrivals, one of three people standing there waiting ━ tired eyes and awaiting charles, not at all feeling out of place or as if you were overstepping despite the clear ‘it’s just sex right now’ boundaries.

your small yawns and the lingering want for sleep was the last thing on your mind, eyes glued to the entrance where he should be emerging any time soon.

then he did, your heart aching at the sight of a defeated charles who looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else; sunglasses sitting on his face, mask covering him as well, which he removed both upon realising it was practically empty.

then he saw you, and for the first time since he put it in the wall he found himself smiling, only slightly ━ but it was as if the weight he’d been carrying on his shoulders was just temporarily lifted, a quick numb to the pain he was feeling from your small and sheepish smile.

he fastened his pace ever so slightly, no longer moping as he approached you in the quiet airport, and never had he been so relieved to have his arms around you, a much needed and simple hug as his head fell into the crook of your neck, the pair of you acting on impulse.

“what are you doing here?” he mumbled out, hands tight on your waist ━ revelling in the feeling of your fingers running over his scalp, almost too ashamed to look at you now that he thought about it. being vulnerable with you was usually terrifying as of recent, but right now it felt so right.

“wanted to see you,” you dismissed, pulling back which had charles tensing ━ having felt most content hiding away in your grasp, eyes avoiding yours now that you were only a mere few centimetres apart.

“it’s late amour,” charles huffed; you shouldn’t have been here, he could tell you had sympathy for him. he didn’t deserve it. didn’t deserve any of it, the championship, you; fuck his head was a mess.

you could practically read him perfectly as the thoughts unfolded in his head, watching as he quickly started to feel the urge to push you away as he always did. he didn’t want to burden you with his own issues.

“stop,” your voice was a mere whisper, hands cupping his cheeks lightly to make him look at you. “i’m here. you’re coming home with me. so suck it up,” you told him ━ eyebrows raised as he parted his lips to disagree, clamping them shut as he realised he had no way to.

not when you’d already gone the distance of coming here.

he mustered up an excuse of a smile, and you didn’t mind considering he had agreed. this time last year he probably would’ve ignored you, denied your help and fought back against it even.

silent progress that was somehow being made, which neither of you wanted to address because it seemed too good to be true.

the silence was comfortable on the drive home, despite a couple questions consisting of if he’s hungry, or if he’d rather go back to his.

he settled on your place, deciding he wanted distractions from all things racing. and nothing was a better distraction than you, he’d come to that conclusion many, many years ago.

“i’m not gonna go to bed yet,” charles mumbled quietly as the pair of you entered your apartment, and you only nodded while kicking your shoes off, flicking on the lamp as you didn’t deem the main light necessary.

“we can watch some tv?” you suggested, voice so soft as if anything louder was gonna break him, he knew that wasn’t the case but he couldn’t help but want to seek out reasons to run out on you; but a glance at your eyes and he knew he couldn’t.

“you can go to bed,” charles sighed, not wanting to keep you up as he made his way to the couch; flopping down quite dramatically before his hands were running over his face, events of the day playing over in his head once more. over and over.

“i’m not tired.” a white lie, the sound of the tv filling the room before you were climbing onto the couch next to him, forcing him to lift his hand and open his eyes, met with your small frame next to him, already looking up at him… with tired eyes.

fuck. you were too good for him. life would be a whole lot easier with this sort of support all the time, he had forgotten how natural you were at comfort. comfort beyond sex that was.

you knew he didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t need typical words which had been fed to him all afternoon. head up. quick turn around. you’ll bounce back. don’t let it get to you son.

you knew him. you knew what he needed.

“you’re lying,” charles sighed, yet his arm stretched up and over you ━ conceding and deciding to accept everything you were offering, tugging you into chest and he was almost proud to see the way your lips curved into a small smile at the action.

this was different to the cuddles that come after orgasms. your smile was different too, only small but he found himself smiling too for a split moment.

“maybe.” you yawned with a small shrug, head tilted up and chin pressed onto his chest so you could look up at him, and he felt vulnerable once more under your gaze, his eyes quickly leaving yours as his head fell back.

more thoughts entering his mind. thoughts he didn’t want to be having but fuck his head was stubborn.

“i don’t deserve this.” charles muttered out, bringing a frown to your face as you shook your head ━ which he couldn’t see but he felt it. “don’t deserve to be in the fight for wins, don’t deserve the championship. don’t deserve you.”

you were shaking your head again, a huff leaving your own lips as your hand reached for his face ━ attempting to sway him into looking back down at you.

“yes you do.” your voice was delicate yet stern, sounding so certain he just had to cast his gaze back onto your dimly lit features. “everyone makes mistakes charles.” you sighed, hating that the cliche sentence was leaving your mouth but he needed to hear it.

“i shouldn’t be though.” he muttered out, chewing on the inside of his cheek, your thumb caressing his skin ever so lightly and it was almost enough to have him out of his little self-pity party.

“you learn from it. you’ve proved you can handle the pressure before. can’t base your entire career on one race.” you told him, eyes pouring up into his as you were quick to defend him from himself.

you had the realisation along time ago that only you could criticise charles. everyone else, himself included, wasn’t allowed to do so.

he stared right back at you, your words hitting harder than he wished they did, just another reminder that you really were the one for him. fuck he can’t be thinking like this right now.

he wanted to tell you that i wasn’t just one race, it had been many. he also wanted to point out that it didn’t change the fact that he also didn’t deserve you. which you seemed to have let out. or say he in fact does not learn from mistakes, your relationship clear evidence of that.

“still don’t deserve this… or you,” charles sighed - quieter this time, shrugging ever so slightly as you now rolled your eyes. he expected maybe a nudge, or another stern lecture; but instead he was left to watch as you looked away, cuddled up into his side and got comfortable with your head resting on his chest.

“well you have me.” you mumbled out, as if saying it any louder would make the admission difficult. “whether you deserve it or not, i’m not going anywhere.” you sounded so certain, for the first time in a long time charles hearing you so open while comfortable.

charles not tensing at the admission either, not planning an escape plan or a way to make you hate him so you’d take back your words. instead he was smiling, again, arm tightening around you as his hand went to run through your hair, practically in awe of you on top of him.

you didn’t mind the lack of response, attempting to stay focused on the tv ahead of you that really couldn’t have less of your interest, instead hypnotised by the feeling of charles fingers playing and running through strands of your hair, wrapping them around his fingers before he’d move his hand down your back.

you could’ve felt guilty for falling asleep, but it was all charles needed. you were better than therapy or any mind coach, the first time in hours he felt as if he could relax was with you simply asleep in his arms. he could think straight, focused on you; focused on how this was what he wanted. a few moments of peace from the consistent dwelling and stressing over that one moment in the race.

he felt as if he was stuck in a flashback, the beginning of your relationship ━ where you were the answer to his problems, not the cause. and once more like that night you showed up drunk he felt hopeful, that maybe things have and could change for the better between the pair of you.

you didn’t even stir when he had moved the pair of you to bed, sleeping like a log until you awoke a few hours later, not so bright and early at around 11am.

gathering your surroundings a familiar sense of dread and emptiness filled you upon waking up in bed, vividly remembering falling asleep on the couch. on charles.

he’d left.

your first thought and worry, your eyes quickly squinting before you came to realise the body next to you, peering up to see charles staring up at the ceiling, hands folded behind his head.

“did i wake you?” his voice almost scared you, unaware that he had seen you, a sheepish smile planting on your features as you shook your head ━ almost on cue yawning as you took all of him in.

he looked tired, beautiful; like always, but very tired.

“did you sleep?” you sounded like a concerned mother, and if you weren’t so concerned you’d be stressing over the way you had fussed over him the past 12 or so hours, completely overstepping self-made boundaries but in the moment you had to room to actually give a shit.

“a little.” he had smiled, the smile reassuring you that his mood had somewhat and at least minimally lifted, and the fact he was still here was a good sign; your own head nodding as you adjusted on top of him, giggling at your typical move to get as close as possible, charles showing no complaints as he rested his hands on your back.

“how long are you here for?” you kept the questions light, knowing better than to probe over anything too race related, anything that could have him left with no choice but to dwindle over upcoming races and media duties.

his face still dropped ever so slight at the mention of leaving, he’d happily just hide away in here for all eternity at this stage.

“fly out wednesday,” he nodded pursed lip, eyes drifting back upon the ceiling, deep in thought so you only hummed in acknowledgement, allowing him to think as you got comfortable on his chest once more.

the tapping of his fingers on your back told you he was in contemplation, but you just enjoyed it rather than let your curiosity get the best of you, enjoying the intimate moment that you had so dearly missed, even telling yourself to make the most of it while it lasts.

“would you come with me?” his question had you confused, eyes looking up at him again to be met with his curious green ones, and it took you a few moments to realise what me meant.

go with him to hungary? to the race?

your lack of response had him tensing, your eyes slightly wide in shock and realisation, charles immediately going into damage control mode as he assumed he’d overstepped, read your kindness wrong. a familiar sense of deja vu in him getting too ahead of himself and you fearing him for it.

it wasn’t until his hands left your back and his eyes drifted to his shoes on the other side of the room that you became aware of his worry, quickly shaking your head as you attempted to lean up.

“yeah,” you rushed out, his eyes snapping back to you in skepticism, your lips pursed ━ you hadn’t even thought your answer through and he could tell, the small sigh he let out doing little to ease the nerves that had just appeared.

“i shouldn’t have━” charles tried to back track, and you almost let him. you would’ve let him a few months ago.

your attendance of races wasn’t necessarily smooth sailing, well they were ━ until they weren’t.

when the arguments in your relationship began to become more frequent, they would occasionally occur on a race weekend, to the point charles didn’t want you there anymore.

which didn’t go down well either; the beginning of the end looking back on it, where the real doubts and questions of your future together first settled in.

you couldn’t really argue with him telling you he didn’t want you at races because you stressed him out. it stung however, because while annoying him had become a defence mechanism for you ━ never would you want to effect his racing.

“you want me there?” you sounded wary - cutting him off, almost as if you didn’t believe him and he was unsure how he should answer.

because he wanted you there. he did. but your reaction had him freaked and this was the perfect opportunity to back out on his offer.

“yeah.” charles bit the bullet, studying your face and every movement, attempting to pick up on any give aways into what was going on in your head.

“i don’t want to━ like if, things got rough or if i━” you stumbled over your words, voice timid and charles finally caught up onto why you were hesitant.

you sounded worried, not stand offish. and hearing you doubt yourself almost shocked him, quickly shaking his head.

“all i wanted yesterday was to see you.” charles admitted through a small breath. “moment i got back to the garage, just thought this would be much more bearable with you here.”

fuck you could never resist him when he was vulnerable, and you didn’t want to; quite easily falling into the trap of charles and his sentiment, blind to the risk you’d be taking in trusting him again.

“if you want me there i’ll be there.” you told him quietly, lips curved upwards as you nodded to add confidence in your promise, practically feeling charles tense body go limp beneath you. although doubt still lingered on his features.

“you can say no.” he wanted to reassure, another realisation of just how good you were too him. another reminder as to why he put up with all the challenges and downsides of whatever the pair of you are.

truth was he didn’t want you there. he needed you.

“i’m not saying no.” you replied quickly, a small grin cracking on your features, and the drivers own features were lighting up too ━ a breathless chuckle leaving his lips, one of both amusement and relief as he shook his head ever so slightly.

it was incredible how charles could feel as if he was on such a high in the moment, a subtle one but unexpected none the less, and it only grew as you leaned up to kiss him ━ a soft and slow kiss unlike the most you two have shared as of recent.

the few moments you pulled away felt incredibly cheesy, and you fucking hated cheesy; so did he, but in the moment it felt so right. a few moments to admire him, enjoy the closeness, the intimacy.

charles didn’t want sex to numb any pain. he just wanted to feel you.

“let me thank you,” charles spoke in a hushed tone as he rolled the pair of you over, hovering over you and you were staring at him dumbfounded, as if you’d let him do anything because you would.

“don’t need to thank me,” you almost scoffed ━ but he had cut you off with his lips back on yours, kiss just as passionate as the first, no sense of urgency as your lips moved in sync, your fingers tangling in his hair as he settled his body between your legs, your right one hooking over his hip.

“want to thank you for putting up with me,” charles pointed out as he pressed a soft kiss to your neck, lowering himself down your body ━ hands finding the hem of your shirt. “for being so good to me,” he added, a kiss placed on your collarbone as your breath got caught in your throat. “you’re so beautiful,”

kiss was pressed to your bare stomach now, and you quickly sat up so he could lift your shirt off your body, eyes watching him intently, struggling to think of any appropriate response to his words.

“charles,” was all you managed in a small sigh, unable to look away from his eyes which were peering up at you as he tugged your sweats down your legs, a kiss then placed to your hip and the delicate and soft actions had never felt so good.

“fucking perfect mon ange,” charles couldn’t help but let the praise and admirations continue, and you didn’t want him to stop. his hand pressed up against your clothed cunt, causing your hips to wiggle as a small whine left your lips. “my pretty girl, so fucking beautiful. i’m obsessed with you.”

your body was melting into his touch, one hand gripping your hip while the other flicked over your lace thong that was covering your clit and folds, wetness forming incredibly quickly.

“please,” the plea was weak, and charles soft smile was just as appealing as his usual smirk when between your legs, fingers swiping your panties down your legs slowly before he was kissing up your thighs.

“not gonna make you beg baby,” charles told you reassuringly, watching as you swallowed intently and nodded before he pressed a light kiss to your clit, then proceeding to lick at your folds and entrance.

your head fell back from what felt like heaven as charles got to work, lazily yet lovingly eating you out and god did it feel good, body responding to every touch and movement he made, his eyes never leaving you as you reacted to the pleasure.

his mumbles of compliments and praise didn’t end, constant reminders of how pretty you were, how good you were; how perfect you were.

you could’ve cum on his tongue, but you wanted nothing more than to feel him too with such heavy words and gazes being shared, forcing your head up to look at him once more.

“wanna feel you,” you breathed out ━ mouth hanging agape as charles let out a breathless chuckle against your cunt.

he stayed true to his word, not wanting to make you beg or wait as he detached his mouth from your heat, shuffling up the bed and hovering over you once more ━ sliding his boxers off before hand.

you had reached to the back of his neck and brought him in for a kiss when he was back at your level, a desperate kiss that spoke for itself, cupping his cheeks so lightly as he slid into you, small gasps escaping your mouth and into his.

he was slow with it, making you feel every inch of him as he bottomed out, charles head dropping of the feeling of you around him as a moan left your lips.

“oh fuck,” you whimpered, fingers moving to scratch down his back, charles using one hand to steady himself as the other rested on your waist ━ beginning to move in and out of you with no rush once more.

slow sex was practically unheard for the pair of you, but it felt so good ━ his thrusts still deep as he stretched you out, your eyes fluttered shut as you adjusted to the sensation you’d never get fully used to.

“so good for me,” charles repeated, eyes lifting to look at you ━ your own eyes opening at his words as you offered a lazy smile, one he mirrored as he fucked you, heavy breaths syncing and filling the room.

“feels so good,” you whined out, unable to look away from the man above you as your hand ran over his arm and bicep. “you’re so good.” you reiterated, eyelids heavy before your hand was resting on his forearm.

his hand left your wrist, taking your hand in his and moving it above your head, pinning it to the pillow which gave him leverage, cock somehow going deeper inside of you which had your back arching and eyes rolling back.

“charles,” you moaned his name, charles unable to keep his eyes off you ━ fingers intertwining with yours and the way you squeezed his hand captured his attention more than your walls squeezing around him.

“never letting you go again,” charles was just speaking his thoughts, pressing kisses to your jaw and you were quick to nod. “all i think about amour, just want you,” charles rasped ━ moaning mid sentence and you were whimpering again.

elated from your building orgasm and the confessions of your lover.

“want you too.” you managed to form words, arm stretching above your head where he was holding your hand. “all of you. want it all,” you whispered, eyes rolling back once more as he laid a slightly harsher thrust.

“you’ve got me baby,” he was quick to assure you ━ head pulling up from the crook of your neck, hand leaving yours only to rub his thumb over your cheek. “all of me. not going anywhere this time. promise.”

your eyes opened once more from the contact, the way he was staring down at you telling you all you needed to know, not one bit of doubt in trusting him despite his and your own track record, and you couldn’t find the words to compare.

so you kissed him again, attempting to feel and touch any bit of him you could, the feeling mutual as your bodies moved in sync and in closeness that was almost impossible.

you were lost in one another, losing track of time before you were cumming around him and he released inside of you, moans and praises bouncing off the walls for your neighbours to hear.

never had you felt so content. never had he felt so content either, and where usually this was the stage where past thoughts and beliefs sneaked in, the silence in the room despite your heavy breathing was mirrored in both your heads.

no regrets this time.

━

a/n: sorry this took me 9 years i actually hate my writing it seems :D this is unedited rn bare with me like usual

fourth times the chime though, don’t wanna know how many words i wrote before coming to this ━ and i’m not even fully satisfied with it lols

anyways luvth0t and fluff who would’ve thought 😀

i know i promise more parts then lose interest lol but i do have plans and ideas for a part three, but who knows when i’ll get around to it, bUT if u want more pls let me know cause i just want y’all happy :’) (and i do love this couple as toxic as it is ! )

anyways i hope this somehow lives up to expectation and can follow up sex and regret nicely, the love y’all gave that fic still blows my mind i really love y’all.

as always feedback and interactions are appreciated u all mean the world to me ty ty love u <333

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