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bunni-v1 · 9 months

Note

hii, can I request "First Years Finding Out Your A Girl" with sebek and ortho please?

Ortho and Sebek Find out You’re a Girl?!?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)

TW: Swearing (as usual lol); Ortho being creepy; Misogyny mention <3; Reader goes by she/her and is biologically female; Book 6 spoilers (very light, but still there); Bunni hasn't read Book 7 and therefore doesn't know what they're talking about :)

Info: Ortho x Reader; Sebek x Reader; Fem!Reader; Platonic

🍓Hi. If you’ve read the first part of this, I copy pasted the intro. Not because I’m lazy or anything (I’m a little lazy, but I’m a full-time college student who also has a part-time job, so I think I can be excused.) It’s mostly because… It’s a good intro. If people are just discovering this stuff then they can read it, but if you’ve read the first part you can just skip to the good good yk. Anyway, long-ass babble session, but I didn’t include Ortho and Sebek initially because they’re kind of new to the First year group so idk. Felt weird including them. Also, I haven’t read book seven so Sebek I bullshit a lot lol. Anyway, they’re here now, and I absolutely ADORE Ortho, so sorry if my favoritism shows.

First Years

Second Years

Third Years

Dorm Leaders

-Okay so, I know we’re all wondering, how the hell do you get away with hiding your gender for so damn long?

-Firstly, those ceremonial robes do great at hiding the figure. The only tell would maybe be your hair, but feminine men aren’t unwelcome at Nightraven College, so you mostly get a few questioning stares and that’s it.

-Secondly, Crowley wants to save his own fucking ass. He already has to hide from the press that he has a MAGICLESS student from ANOTHER DIMENSION here, he doesn’t need the fact that you are a woman ALSO on his plate. So, obviously, he helps you hide your gender from others.

-Grim knows, of course, and he keeps his mouth shut for a few yummy cans of tuna (and threats of being expelled from Crowley <3)

-Even when you were just a janitor, he couldn’t have the rumor that he put a “helpless” young woman to work. (Like it wouldn’t be expected.)

-So how do you two do it?

-Baggy ass uniform. Crowley gave you at least three sizes too big.

-Your figure is completely hidden. Sure, you look completely homeless, but at least you’re hidden.

-For your voice, you simply deepen it. After some point, you blackmail Crowley into giving you a potion to help with it, since it's so taxing on your voice. (Or maybe your voice is naturally deep!)

-Sam provides you (for an unfairly pretty penny (not too different from your original world…)) any feminine hygiene products you might need.

-Honestly, you’re set for being cared for, but it’s the adjustment period that’s the hardest part.

-Truly, it’s very jarring to suddenly be thrown into both a magical world and be isolated in a man's world with nowhere to hide.

-At least in your world you had other women who could understand your struggles. Here though? You’re completely alone.

-You notice how… messy some of these guys could be. How some of them smell… really rancid. -How rough they were with you and each other.

-Honestly, it’s kinda eye-opening. The way men show affection to each other is oddly refreshing to watch and experience!

-Ace and Deuce specifically are a good… trial run.

-That’s not what we’re here to talk about though…

-For the most part, it's incredibly easy to hide yourself for the first while on campus. Everyone on campus is so self-absorbed that they don’t bother questioning you.

-Your only real risk factor is Savannaclaw, but it's easy to avoid those guys (minus Jack, of course).

-However, you can only hide your gender for so long… It’s mentally draining to keep up this facade all the time around people you care about.

-So… how do they find out?

Ortho

-Okay, so Ortho is a little creepy weirdo. He’s a highly advanced robot who likely has autism, and loves his big brother a whole fucking lot.

-(Side note: Can a robot, child, or thing have autism? Does that mean Idia programmed Ortho to be autistic? How silly of him.)

-It’s my personal head cannon that Idia DECKED this kid out in as much high-tech gear as he could get his hands on.

-He’s equipped with some of the most complex medical features, therefore he has access to a database of all students at NRC’s medical files. (This is not legal, but he does not care for the law.)

-“But Bunni, what does that have to do with the prefect?” Well, Ortho is ALSO equipped with the latest medical scanner on the market.

-Think like Baymax, yeah? He can scan everyone one time and know every piece of medical knowledge readily available.

-Well, Ortho, the sweet little creep he is, automatically scans the medical information of any new person he sees/meets into his database — just in case it may come in handy.

-So, before he even KNOWS you. Before he speaks a single word to you, he knows you’re biologically a female.

-He scanned you without thinking and just shrugged his shoulders at it.

-You’re not from here, and you got thrown into this, so you being a woman doesn’t really matter too much to you being at NRC.

-It honestly could’ve been anyone getting stuck here, so why should he question it?

-However, he notices that you are referred to with exclusively “male” pronouns, so he marks in your file that you are trans and moves on.

-Again, who cares? He’s a magical robot guy based on his brother's dead brother. Who was he to judge?

-When he finally ACTUALLY gets to interact with you after being welcomed into the first-year squad, he’s very respectful of your gender.

-You are a man to him, therefore he refers to you with exclusively masculine pronouns.

-However, everyone in your little group already knows, and they assume that Ortho knows. So when they speak about you, they use feminine pronouns.

-Ortho, sweet as he is, immediately questions everyone as to why they’re misgendering you.

-Protective of the people he cares for at heart, he doesn’t like the idea that your so-called closest friends are misgendering you behind your back.

-Doesn’t believe them completely when they explain, so he goes to you because you’re the only one who knows who you really are.

-“Prefect!”

“Hey, Ortho! What’s up? Miss me?”

“Of course I do, but I have a very important question.”

“Sure, what do ya need?”

“Are you a woman?”

-At this point 90% of your friends know, but there is a handful that doesn’t… and you can’t be having that.

-You, of course, assure Ortho that you are not only a woman, but that your friends are not misgendering you behind your back.

-Relieved, he takes several of your friends off a hit list and removes the trans man label on your medical chart.

-Asks why you hid your gender in the first place.

-Promptly adds Crowley to a hit list (again).

-Ortho, out of EVERYONE at NRC, has absolutely zero behavior changes toward you.

-He’s equally protective as he was before, he spends the same amount of time with you as usual, he doesn’t suddenly have some weird crush on you, and he’s still trying to set you up with Idia.

-Honestly, everyone should take notes from Ortho. He’s the best at this whole thing.

Sebek

-On the other hand… do not take notes from Sebek! He sucks at this! He sucks really badly!

-Out of all the first years, Sebek is not only the least close to you, but he is also incredibly mean. So you just… feel no obligation to tell him.

-In fact, you kind of… sort of… actively leave him out of the loop for a really long time.

-I mean, it's not an unreasonable thing to do. He is constantly berating you and putting you down for being human. You have no idea how he feels about women and you don’t want to find out first hand.

-In all honesty, he is the only person (other than Azul and the twins) that you’re really scared of finding out, and take extra precautions to ensure he doesn’t find out.

-However, you attend NRC, and nothing ever goes your way at NRC.

-Despite every precaution you take to keep your gender under lock and key, you overlook one thing.

-Malleus Draconia.

-His complete and total lack of social awareness is your downfall here. He finds out, and despite everything telling him to keep his mouth shut… he doesn’t. Because of course, he doesn’t.

-At this point, you’ve gone through most of your misadventures, and most — if not all — of your friends know you’re a girl.

-Hell, even Silver knows now. Everyone BUT Sebek knows.

-And he finds out because Malleus casually mentions it over dinner. Not even directly about your gender, he just uses she/her pronouns.

-Sebek, being Sebek, respectfully asks Malleus if he meant to say he. Malleus, of course, says no without a second thought.

-The shock and horror on Silver and Lilia’s faces was enough to be further confirmation.

-And Sebek’s world shatters.

-He was completely left out of the loop and also has a moral conflict now.

-As much shit, as I gave Sebek (as everyone gives Sebek) he RESPECTS women. His queen is a woman, and his mother is a woman.

-In his eyes, women are some of the strongest people around. Regardless of if they’re human or not.

-You, on top of being a human from another realm who had successfully quelled several of the strangest students at NRC’s OVERBLOTS and came out on top, was also a woman.

-If that wasn’t strength, he didn’t know what it was.

-However, his bias against humans strongly clashes with his respect for women in this case.

-And it just… messes with his head.

-He doesn’t treat you worse, in fact, he’s just… really awkward around you now.

-He doesn’t know if he should apologize or berate you for being a human, so he just stays stiff and glares at you.

-It's honestly more scary than him constantly talking down to you.

-However, once the two of you actually befriend one another, he apologizes to you. For everything, and explains where he’s coming from. Why he acted the way he did, how he really feels about you, and all that sweet shit.

-Afterwards, he is genuinely the best at keeping your secret (if he even needs to at this point).

-If there is anyone you can trust to keep his stupid mouth shut at NRC, it's Sebek.

-His honor and pride force him into silence when it comes to secrets he promises to keep.

-In fact, if anyone is on your trail about it, he’s the first one to jump in the way and scare them off/shut them down.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #x reader #twst headcanons #bunni's treats 🧁#ortho shroud #ortho shroud x reader #sebek zigvolt #sebek zigvolt x reader

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throwaway-yandere · 2 years

Text

Not Through The Grapevine (Yandere Idol!Diluc Ragnvindr/Reader)

Alice's, mother of Klee, note: Wouldn't it be funny if you ended up producing 5wirl or Kreideprinz? Haha! I don't think your little friend would like that. He might just take my wine cellar away– stick with Diluc, dove.

P.S: Producer Lumine, can I just write "a/n" next time? This poor mother's getting tired of typing :'(

1k event masterlist

------

"At this time I decide to,

Get over you and

Want to tell you not through

The grapevine but directly"

- Sakyo-taifu Michimasa

This was the most recent poem you found tucked within your favorite book, printed on a red square paper. The paper looked pretty– and it was faintly scented with grapes too. At first, you assumed it must have been picked up off the floor and put somewhere, and that "somewhere" just so happened to be one of your favorite books.

"Damn it. Help me…" You chuckled nervously. "Can't believe those stalkers thought my book was one of ADDICKTZ again…"

Which "tea" will they spill this time, you wonder? Will they leak that Dainsleif likes "The Scarlet King's Court Jester"? Or maybe they'll say that Zhongli is trying to reconnect with the modern age by reading contemporary fantasy novels? You rolled your eyes, shaking the love letter like you would with a polaroid.

Oh wow, the contents of this letter are so enthralling. 10/10. You're so impressed. Great job, stalkers.

It's lovely poetry, but once you encounter numerous stalker fans, it sours and loses its charm. After being friends with Diluc, Kaeya, and Ajax for most of your life, you've grown incredibly desensitized by unhinged fans. You have so many bizarre expectations of them that you can't remember the last time you were actually astonished by something they did. Perhaps you'd be surprised if this love letter was for Itto– he doesn't like novels or receiving these types of riddle-y love letters. He'd probably prefer getting a used towel instead.

But there's always theory number #2:

It's possible that Kaedehara Kazuha from the other unit wrote this.

The thought of him made a goofy smile creep up your face unsuspectingly. Damn it. You're starting to feel like one of those fangirls– but can you blame yourself? Kaedehara Kazuha is just so utterly captivating. Maybe he's the one who intentionally put this in your book– can't a person dream? There's nothing wrong with imagining yourself as the protagonist of some romantic escapade with an idol, right?

Someone cleared their throat.

"Oh, freaki–" You jolted and nearly dropped the card. When you caught a clear view of his face, you immediately felt relieved.

"Ah, good evening Master Diluc." You bowed slightly, sneakily slipping the red paper back inside your book. "You have nothing in your schedule for this week."

"Is that so?" He hummed with a small smile on his face. "Well, do you have anything on yours?"

"It's positively empty, sir." You grinned.

"P-Please, (Y/n)." He covered his face with one hand, avoiding your feigned business-as-usual eyes. "I know that you're my producer now but can we drop the act?"

"We can, but this is so much fun though!" You beamed. "It's like our friendship got ten extra steps– don't take that fun away from me!"

Diluc grunted laconically. You do have a point. The only real change from being a childhood friend to a producer was a fancier title and a damn good paycheck. Fans would kill to be Diluc Ragnvindr's childhood friend AND producer. There's no one else he trusts as much as you. He was a reckless child and you were always there to stop him from getting into trouble. You never failed to clean up after him whenever he decided he'd build a massive medieval lego set.

That's why it's such a miracle that he grew up to be such a quiet and reserved person. To think this was your friend who got banned from Disneyland of all places– Nowadays, he's more focused on inheriting his father's company and this "unexpected side hustle" of his.

"Dove, since we're both free– do you want to try a bottle of this year's wine?"

"Diluc, we're good friends, so you know that we both loathe wine, right?"

"Ngh, you're right. I can't say I know what possessed me to ask that question." He flinched. "Wait, no, I do– listen (Y/n), Adeline wanted me to come to a Snezhnayan Dawn Winery event this Friday and I don't have a plus one."

"Oh?"

Not that it happens often but Diluc's hilariously affectionate when he's completely inebriated. He does not do well with foreign alcohol. When you were both rebellious teens, he went out and drank a bottle of fire-water with Ajax behind Uncle Crepus' back. This was around the time these two "frenemies" started getting along. A few hours later, Diluc sent you a couple of slurred-voiced messages of how much he loves and cares about you– which was abruptly wrapped up by two quick texts:

"as a comrade of course"

"***friend i mean friend."

Given how awkward it was, you promised Diluc that you won't tell a single soul about this when morning came and he seemed both mortified and relieved about your proposal… You'd rather not have a "part two" of that.

In addition, Ajax acted weird around you ever since. He always gives you a look of pity. Last week, you asked him how he knew the password to your phone when he lost his phone and needed to call his producer. He answered that he "got it from Diluc when he was drunk" with a traumatized look on his face. That was four years ago; you're all in your twenties now. You've changed all your passwords since then.

You want to help him, but you're still a bit hesitant. He's bound to drink fire-water this Friday. Given how you and Ajax would be unwilling to accompany him, you decided to throw Kaeya under the bus.

"Why not invite your brother?"

Diluc's eyes squinted.

"Oh, right."

Kaeya's been absent for a week now, you're not sure why and his producer wasn't answering your calls. You wonder how they're doing…

"How about the others?"

"Everyone in ADDICKTZ is busy except for Producer Snail."

… Okay let's try to avoid that as much as possible. You don't want Itto's producer crying over some rich people's escargot.

"How about 5wirl-"

"Not happening."

You smiled sheepishly. He probably didn't want Venti to come. "Alright, you got me. It's hard to say no to you. I was only planning to laze around the house anyways."

"Thank you. I'll make it worth your mora."

"It better be because I'm not cheap, sir."

"(Y/n), please–"

—--

It was a Friday night and the two of you decided to meet up at the venue's parking lot first. You were leaning against a tree while waiting for him. When he did arrive, you saw him in a black tuxedo accentuated with red accents. There's no doubt about it. He's idol-worthy and more.

Compared to you, this is just... Gah, how can you even compare to him?

"Hey, um, you look great! Like usual, and I kinda feel bad that I showed up wearing this." You frowned. "So, um, is this... acceptable?"

He closed his eyes and chuckled. "Do you really have to ask that?"

"I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit self-con–"

"Don't be. You're breathtaking." Diluc crossed his arms and spoke earnestly. "Even if you wore the most atrocious outfit known to man, you'll forever be gorgeous to me."

You were still flustered. "That's sweet and all but it REALLY doesn't help me–"

"You're aesthetically pleasing. You have exquisite tastes– you picked just the right colors that match your eyes and I adore the way you styled your hair for tonight." He muttered with a scowl. "Seeing you put in this much effort… makes me want to delude myself that I am someone special to you, just this once."

You paused.

"But you are special to me."

Diluc smiled bitterly. "Not in the same way as him, no."

"What do you mean?"

"So, how much should I pay you for this?" He digressed jokingly, but his grin looked painful. "Surely, I have to pay a high price for commissioning a lovely fae."

You laughed. "Yeah. You owe me a pay raise, sir!"

Diluc shook his head. "... Another pay raise– Maybe I should stop calling you Dove and start calling you Mora from now on."

"Bold of you to assume I'd hate that."

"... Why are you my best friend, again? Anyways, do you have your purse?"

"Yes, I d–..." You ferreted your handbag. "–on't. No, no I don't– shit."

"Of course, you forgot. Never mind, just stay close to me. Don't be obliged to drink anything even if they're pressuring you to. If you ever need to go home, I'll pay for the taxi."

Diluc grabbed your hand and walked towards the venue. You looked down. His hands were warm– or maybe it was your own temperature you were sensing. One of Kaeya life's missions was to make you painfully aware that both your hands could melt an ice cube in under twenty seconds, so you're not too sure who's warm.

"...Is something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing." You laughed. "I was just thinking that you're such a green flag, that's all."

His grip tensed up and he looked the other way. Is it just you or is he getting warmer? Diluc ran his free hand through his hair. He looked frustrated.

"How can I get over you when you're like this?"

"Diluc...?"

"Forget the event," Diluc said, stopping you both from entering. "Let's just head to my place."

What?!

"Hah?!" Canceling plans is usually the best feeling on earth but in this instance, it left you absolutely baffled.

"Wait here, I'll just make a call."

"Hey, Diluc, wait–"

—-------

[Ten missed calls from "Ajax."]

[Received 1 voicemail.]

"Diluc, I had a chat with Venti's producer earlier. Is it true that you're the one who sent death threats to stop the 5wirl and ADDICKTZ collab? Kinda hard to believe you'd go through such lengths– and REAALLL low for you to drop a week's work on everyone, comrade!"

"I don't get what your motives are either... Is it because of (Y/n)? C'mon, we both know they wouldn't like you as much as the Dove likes Kazuha. I'm sorry but you HAVE to accept that. Even if you wiretap their house and obsess so much about them that opportunity is just not gonna hap–"

[Delete.]

[Calling Ajax…]

"Tartaglia."

"Well, well. That's not a good opener. Are you gonna get your ass over and help us out? The fuck is up with this paperwork– why are we even helping the CEO's assistant write reports?!"

"No, actually, I need your help with something…"

*sigh* "Motherfucker. Alright, spill. What do you want?"

"I don't want to hurt them– God, I can't imagine myself doing something like that when they look this pretty tonight. Ajax, I beg you, you're the only one that can help me with this. How can I knock someone unconscious without using blunt force?"

"..."

"... Diluc, holy shit, what on earth are you planning?"

Ansytea: huhu i hope your husband won't kill me– THANK YOU FOR JOINING THE 1K EVENT DOVE ANON!!! (This is still so surreal i cant believe i got permission to write abt you. most of us probably already know who this is anyways so dhjskwksoa happy 12k followers to you too!!!!)

#tag: yan!1k idol event #yandere diluc #yandere diluc x reader #yandere diluc ragnvindr #yandere diluc ragnvindr x reader #yandere genshin #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin fanfiction #yandere male #yandere fanfiction #🕊️ anon #ansy-writes

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goddess-aelin · 20 days

Text

Hyacinth and Hollyhock

Part 3 of "Peonies and Poplars"

Masterlist | Part 1

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: mentions of throbbing members lol

Shit, shit, shit. She was in deep, unending shit. The man sitting across from her was incredibly intimidating, especially when she wasn’t expecting to see him today…or ever again. R.J. White was the author of Aelin’s favorite book series, Tales of Flowers and Fortitude, which featured three books that had the most incredible world building and heartachingly beautiful romance. If she was being honest, Aelin would have said that R.J. White had to have been a woman since the experience and prose in the book series was unmatched. But now, Aelin knew she was wrong.

She was so, so wrong.

Because R.J. White, who was currently sitting across from her in the cozy coffee shop she frequented, was the biggest asshole known to the universe. He was arrogant, toyed with people for fun, and chose to be a haughty, pompous, pig-headed, condescending–

“So, we meet again.”

Pretty. Did she mention he was pretty?

No. No! She was not going to go down that road. Even if his voice sounded deep as the depths of the largest ocean and his cologne smelled of the pine woods Aelin so loved. She was not going to get caught up with this beautiful, brash, irritating, stupid, asshole–

“Miss? Are you with me?” A tan hand waved at her, causing embarrassment to overtake the flush of her cheeks.

Aelin once again snapped to attention at the sound of his voice. Shit. “Oh! Sorry, it’s just been a busy day.” The lie fell flat even to her own ears. It was barely 10am, the day hadn’t even really started. Aelin knew it. Aelin knew R.J. White also knew it. And it seemed like R.J. White also knew that Aelin knew.

“O…kay. I can just find a different seat if I’m a bother, sorry. I just thought…” He shook his head, “Nevermind. I’ll just let you get back to your book.”

“No!” What!? Why on earth did she just say that? She thought. Yes, you absolutely should find somewhere else to sit. “No, you can stay here, it’s fine. I’m just a little out of it today.” It seemed like she truly was since her mouth was saying things she didn’t want it to say.

R.J. gave a noncommittal hum and a small smile and set his still-full coffee cup back down on the table. “So, what did you think?”

“What did I think?” Aelin’s brows furrowed. “Of what?”

R.J. gave a huff of breath and a slight uptick of the corners of his mouth. “Of the book, of course.”

“You want to know what I thought of the book?”

“Well…yes? That’s what I said.”

“Oh, well, it’s good, I guess.” She looked down at the blue cover of her book and the vibrant pink bookmark she attached. Her brows furrowed. Why did he want to know about her book? “I’m not done yet and the main character is a little annoying but the smut makes up for it, I think, since that’s basically the plot of the story.” Aelin let out nervous laughter. “I mean, the author describes everything in such detail and it’s pretty good without being completely raunchy. There are some positions in here, though, that I’m just wondering if they’re real or if the author just thought it would sound poetic. But do I really need to know that the guy has a 10-inch co–”

R.J. cleared his throat. “I actually meant Peonies and Poplars but I will keep this book in mind if I ever need ideas.” Amusement laced his tone and it looked like he was fighting back a smile.

Aelin’s mouth dropped in an “O.” “Oh. I just thought…” Aelin’s cheeks heated again. Of course he was talking about his book, not the random smutty book she happened to pick up from a clearance rack. “I’m so sorry. I just am not in my element today, I guess, and not used to people chatting with me while I’m reading..”

“Reading smut in public will do that to you.” A laugh laced his words. “Especially when the male lead has such a spectacular…appendage.”

Aelin groaned. “Please don’t tell me you’re one of those authors that uses ‘appendage’ as a synonym for ‘cock.’”

“Since you’ve read my work, you know that I don’t.” He looked all too gleeful at her statement yet she could’ve sworn there was a slight tint to his tan cheeks. “I’d obviously rather use throbbing member or meaty manhood.”

Aelin snorted so hard, she could feel the slight burn of the coffee she was sipping coming back up her nose. And of course, since she was Aelin and since this conversation was going so well this burning in her nose also started a coughing fit. R.J. looked slightly concerned for a second before amusement took over his features. Once she got herself under control once again, she said the only thing she could think of at the moment. “Please. Please with sprinkles and cherries on top, please never say either of those words again.”

His laugh was deep and his smile truly lit up his already handsome face. Smiling like that, though…he looked younger, more relaxed. More handsome, if she wanted to wander back down that road again.

“Okay, deal. But only if you tell me your name.”

She held her hand out. “Aelin.” He took her hand and she couldn’t help but notice how his callused hand felt against hers. Dare she say her hand fit perfectly in his. How cliche of her. “ Should I call you Mr. White or R.J?”

“Neither actually.” His voice got slightly lower. “My name is Rowan. Rowan Whitethorn.”

“Ah. I see where the R and the White came from. Is the J a middle name?”

“It sure is. James. Rowan James Whitethorn.” He fiddled with his nails, as if revealing this part of himself to someone who also knew him as R.J. White was something he rarely did.

“Well Rowan James Whitethorn, what made you take the pen name?” She kept her voice low, just in case anyone could overhear. Rowan seemed like a private person, someone who didn’t like the spotlight.

“I just like my privacy. That's why I don’t have any pictures of myself on my books or on my website.” He shrugged. “I know how intense some people can get about their fantasy books and this gives me at least a little bit of a normal life.”

“What about doing interviews and book conventions and things?”

“I just don’t do them. My agent always has me sign books before they’re sent out as a special edition and she takes care of the blurbs that are sent out. All interviews are done via email or video chat but the interviewer is always sworn to secrecy. And they usually don’t know my real name to even look me up. It’s not like I have any personal social media anyway.” He shrugged, not fully confident in admitting this, yet he wasn’t shying away from eye contact, either.

Aelin pondered this for a second, trying to come up with the nicest way of asking what she wanted to know. She decided that Rowan seemed like someone who valued directness. “Can I ask you why? I mean, imagine how great the publicity would be and I’m sure you’d get a lot more deals and recognition if you showed the world your pretty face.”

“Aw, you think I’m pretty?” Aelin rolled her eyes at that while Rowan just chuckled. “I don’t know. I just want people to focus on my writing and what they feel about the story rather than me as a person. I understand that it is a detriment to promotion and future book deals but my agent and I have worked it out so that I get my privacy and she handles all the extra stuff. She’s pretty awesome.”

“I get it. Really. I’m a middle school teacher and these kids pry endlessly about my life. So much that I consistently make up lies about how interesting my weekend was and use my first and middle name as my social media handles instead of my last.”

Rowan chuckled. “I can totally see you as a middle school teacher. Those kids wouldn’t get away with a lick of trouble with you watching over them. And let me guess which subject you teach…english? Or reading? Something along those lines.”

Aelin rolled her eyes again, the perfect confirmation that Rowan was correct.

“Knew it,” he laughed. “And since you asked me a bunch of questions, now it’s my turn.”

Aelin gave him a scathing look. “One. You can ask one question.”

“Five.”

“Two.”

“Deal.”

Rowan rubbed his hands together, contemplating what he was going to ask. “First question: what’s your middle name?”

“That’s what you want to ask?”

“It’s only fair that I know yours since you know mine.”

Aelin sighed. “Fine. It’s Ashryver.”

“Ashryver?” From Rowan’s slight accent, the single word sounded like two -Ash River- rolling off his tongue. But Aelin nodded nonetheless.

“It was my mom’s maiden name. So instead of giving me a full middle name, she and my dad just used her maiden name.” Aelin shrugged. “It’s kind of nice, having that piece of her.”

Rowan just gave her a small smile and nodded, sensing the sadness in her tone.

“Ok, what’s your second question?”

Rowan rubbed at the stubble along his chin. “Question number two…hmm.” She could tell the moment that he thought of his question since his eyes sharpened in on her like a hawk’s. “Well, Aelin Ashryver, why haven’t you put my number to good use yet?”

A/N: Here's part 3. And you guessed it, there will be a part 4. I'm hoping to wrap this one up because this chapter was really fighting with me. But I have an idea where it's going so it'll hopefully be a satisfying ending!

Tagging: @cretaceous-therapod @morganofthewildfire @tomtenadia @live-the-fangirl-life @charlizeed @violet-mermaid7 @euphoric-melancholyy @kritical24 @rubyriveraqueen @dealfea @wellofnothing @ayaashryver @moonknight-spector @leiawritesstories @whoever-you-choose-to-love @holdthefrickup @heirofflowers @thecrispypotatochip @shanias-world @rowanaelinn @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity @hanging-from-a-cliff @fantacysoup @swankii-art-teacher @thegreyj @fromthelibraryofemilyj @westofmoon @lovely-dove-zee @books4eva04 @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @mariaofdoranelle @dreamer-133 @elentiyawhitethorn @writtenonreceipts @shyvioletcat @aelinchocolatelover @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @athena127 @tothestarsandwhateverend @highqueenofelfhame

#rowaelin #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin fic #rowan whitethorn #Aelin galathynius #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass fanfiction #rowan x aelin #my fic #my fics

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lemon-natalia · 1 month

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Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 37

hmm yeah it is suspicious that the Emperor has to be locked away during the attacks. he gives an explanation, but we really only have his word for it

the Lyctors seem perfectly (and very convieniently) made to be able to enter the River while still defending themselves, which makes me wonder if that was the original purpose of creating Lyctorhood, and the Emperor maybe has some kind of plan revolving around it?

now this guy is quoting fucking Psalms 26 in Latin?? thats different to the quotes from before, the fact that its religious is interesting given this guy is apparently ‘God’ now, but he’s quoting a biblical text. also given Harrow can’t possibly know what he’s quoting 90% of the time, he’s awfully pretentious

Harrow’s eighteen, i’m pretty sure she knows how babies are made dude. at least she definitely knows after you guys nearly had a threesome in front of her on the dining room table

he’s been thinking Harrow and Ianthe are a thing omfg

the mysterious A.L.! somehow i was right that the Annabel Lee poem connected to her. and her having another name, and being dead for ten thousand years, i feel like thats a pretty good candidate for the good old Locked Tomb body. at least, thats my current theory.

‘She was my Adam’ again with the biblical stuff, this guy is seemingly religious, but also thinks he’s God??

and apparently the First House was destroyed via climate change and nuclear explosions. if i needed any other confirmation that its Earth (or some equivalent) then i’ve got it here i think

also he was just a normal person before the world ended, and he was the only one who survived and somehow became an incredibly powerful necromancer. i mentioned waaay back at the beginning of this liveblog that i knew there was a guy named John who had something to do with an apocalypse, but i didn't know if i was misremembering him being actually responsible for it, or if i was mixing it up with the Magnus Archives. and i, uh, still have no clue if that is the case or not from this convo, though i do feel like there's more he's not saying about this anyway (please no spoilers about this, i really appreciate everyone explaining things to me in the notes but i'd like to find out whats actually going on with this specifically while reading)

and A.L. was not a ‘normal human being’ whatever that mean, and the Lyctors are ‘in a very real way’ A.L.’s children … what on earth does that mean? she discovered the secret of Lyctorhood maybe?

well that whole conversation both answered a whole bunch of questions and absolutely nothing at the same time 😂

well okay the dude’s gone past playing parent and just outright told Harrow he sometimes wishes she was his daughter. i really don’t know how much of that affection is genuine

imagine telling someone you view them as a surrogate daughter and they fucking. smash a glass table in response lol. and yeah if its been ten thousand years and you haven’t developed emotional intelligence yet, then i don’t think its happening mate

ohhhh shit she’s telling him about the Locked Tomb. and i suppose there are worse ways this could have ended than him not believing her at all, but i really don’t think she’s wrong, especially since Gideon said she saw her do so/saw the door open in the last book, i think she did get in there somehow

wait i was working under the assumption that it was the Emperor who’d messed up her memories, but its not! did she do it to herself then after writing the letters?

#lemon natalia reads the locked tomb #tlt #the locked tomb #the locked tomb liveblog #harrow the ninth

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depravitycentral · 1 year

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Yandere! Shalnark General Profile

Yandere! Shalnark x fem! reader

CW: kidnapping, stalking, nonconsensual recording, emotional abuse, mentions of non-con, mentions of masturbation, threats, mentions of death/murder, mild gore, Stockholm Syndrome, Shalnark gets handsy with you while you're asleep, PSA he's a creep, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

DARLING PROFILE

Naïve

Shalnark is, in all honesty, a bit of a monster.

Everything in his life is about controlling others, stealing and loyalty to the Troupe, and because of this time has hardened him into a person who lives to manipulate, who lives to bend others to his every whim and will.

And while some part of him does love his darling, in a twisted, fucked up way, Shalnark really sees his beloved as someone that he can manipulate and trick into being with him (though, he does eventually hope that they’ll genuinely love him, as he loves them).

He has no qualms with warping their every thought and perception of the world until the only thing they can think of, can love and want to be around is him.

Having a darling who’s almost painfully oblivious or always seeing the best in people is a trait that Shalnark not only finds absolutely fucking adorable, but it also makes the process of making sure that he’s the only thing they deem important in life so much easier, something he’s honestly grateful for.

His darling is so very cute, someone that endlessly entertains him with how adorably clueless they are to the real world. And Shalnark can’t wait to expose them to it – to show them that he’s the only one that protect them from all the monsters out there, the bad people who just want to use his beloved.

It’s an endearing trait that Shalnark will take full advantage of, and his darling likely won’t even notice until it’s much, much too late.

Sweet

While much of his persona feels forced and fake, there’s a certain allure to genuine kindness that makes Shalnark swoon.

He likes the idea of darling who’s genuinely just sweet, a soft personality that he can easily mold and shape into whatever he wants. He wants someone to feed his ego, only making him happier, giving him more to work with, more determination to get them to love him.

He’s not especially used to compliments, but as his darling steadily begins supplying him with them, very quickly Shalnark learns to love it – they’re just so sweet, so adorable and kind when they tell him that he’s really funny, you make me laugh a lot.

It makes him smile when they tell him how his hair is really soft, you must spend a lot of time on it to keep it this healthy and pretty.

His heart hammers in his chest when they whisper that they love him, that he makes them so happy and that they never want to leave him, even if their words are more than a little swayed by threats and knowing how easily he could kill them.

Having a kind darling is something that Shalnark looks for, something that he seeks out, if only because hearing kind words while he slowly breaks them down, makes them utterly and completely dependent on him is something that makes little tingles shoot down his spine, a sparkle to those wide green eyes.

His darling is just so cute!

Introverted

Shalnark is attracted to the idea of someone who isn’t nearly as outgoing as himself.

He’s a talker, through and through, and having a darling who’s a listener is something that he finds incredibly appealing.

He likes the idea of his beloved not constantly going out, rather preferring to spend nights inside, reading a good book or watching a movie or playing video games or whatever their hobbies may be.

It’s cute to him, how flustered they get when put in social situations, how they’re so easily drained just by simply interacting with others, and his more sadistic side comes out when he purposefully tries to drain that social battery, chattering and blabbering nonstop about trivial, pointless things. He does it just to see them desperate for a moment of peace, a moment alone to get away from his constant talking - because that means they're thinking of him.

Of course, they won’t ever get that moment alone, not if Shalnark has any say, but it’s still cute to watch them squirm, to see the way they’re so eager to be alone, to get some peace and quiet and alone time.

It’s cute, and a good bargaining chip for him – personal time in exchange for certain favors, a deal that can’t be beat, especially considering the fact that the dozens of cameras trained on their figure at any given time make sure that they’re never truly alone.

Complaisant

While Shalnark couldn’t give a shit about gender roles and expectations based on sex (hell, the three women in the troupe are enough to prove that sexism is bullshit, even if Shizuku can be a bit ditzy at times), there’s a certain appeal to having a partner who’s willing to cater to his every need that satisfies him.

He likes the idea of his beloved being subservient, that they’re willing to drop everything just to please him, and its something that only becomes more attractive over time as his obsession with them continues on. He likes knowing that he has them in the palm of his hand, his to do whatever he pleases, whenever he pleases.

It’s a cute trait to him, that they’re so adorably focused on what others want rather than themself, and Shalnark plans to take full advantage of this little tendency. He will be making them do things he knows they don’t particularly enjoy, just to see how far they’re willing to go to make him happy.

He likes the idea that they’re so dependent on others’ needs and desires that they forfeit their own, and the longer he spends around his darling, the more he falls in love, the more he realizes that they’re the perfect addition to his collection of toys.

Though, he’d never kill or harm this one; it’s his prize, his special little thing.

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Manipulative

Nen types and personalities are, of course, connected – and as far as Shalnark is concerned, it’s no harm done if he twists the situation just a bit. It's okay if he feeds you with pretty little lies every once in a while, just to make sure you see the situation his way, that you understand his perspective.

He swears he has no ill intent towards you – no, of course not! He’s completely in love, so deeply and helplessly enraptured by you that the only reason he’s really telling you how he happened to be in the area and wanted to stop by is to make you more comfortable. He wants to make you feel special and bubbly and desired rather than admitting that he’s been staring at you from behind a computer screen for the last twelve hours, only moving when his desperation to see you became too strong.

He's only trying to help when he warns you against certain people. He'd hate to see you fall into the wrong hands; people who want to hurt you, change you. Only Shalnark gets to do these things - which is why he's always subtly trying to tell you how you shouldn’t hang out with that guy again, can’t you tell he only wants you for your body? You’d be much better off with someone who loves you for you and not just your curves!

He’s really just trying to prevent anything from happening in the future with that piece of scum that’s been taking up your attention recently because although he hasn’t shown any signs of ill intent yet, Shalnark is absolutely positive that he’ll break your heart, that he couldn’t treat you nearly as well as the blond himself can.

Because of his friendly and chipper attitude, Shalnark can easily get you believing him, quickly establishing a complete sense of trust between the two of you that makes him absolutely giddy with power.

He loves that you listen to his each and every word like they’re the purest truth, like his word is law, like he’s the only one who could ever possibly understand you.

The lies he feeds you can be small, flippant ideas you don't seem to question.

(Your phone’s been sending texts you don’t remember typing to your male friends? Huh, guess the technology needs to be updated or your memory is just getting absolutely terrible!)

Others are large, meaningful twisting of words that you're a bit more hesitant to accept - but when Shalnark gives you that smile, all sunshine and warmth, you'll begrudgingly drop it.

(That guy who flirted with you at the store was found dead this morning and you’re wondering why Shalnark had gotten to your hang out late with blood splattered across his shirt? No, of course he has nothing to do with it – you must be seeing things, and how could you ever accuse Shalnark himself, the only friend you have left, of doing something so terrible?).

He’s really good at making his face completely unfaltering when you bring up anything that tip toes too close to the truth, making sure that his façade of innocence doesn’t slip so that you’d become suspicious of him, and he’s able to get you believing quite literally anything he says.

He’s forced his way into your life, narrowing down the list of people you feel close to and those you can trust until he’s the only name left. And while the process is a bit time consuming and frustrating, it’s so worth it to see you smile so brightly when you see him, to make some offhand joke about how he’s the only person who isn’t immediately declining your calls and sending it straight to voicemail, how he’s always there for you.

And really, Shalnark couldn’t be prouder – it doesn’t feel necessarily good to manipulate you, to look at those pretty, vulnerable eyes and lie straight to your face, but it’s worth it.

Anything is worth the end result of you depending solely on him, completely willing to believe each and every word he says.

He craves it, needing it, needing to be needed by you. It makes him feel almost a bit pathetic, but there's something about you that makes Shalnark not care if he throws his pride out the window.

But you’ll eventually figure out how he’s painted a picture in your mind so distorted from reality that it physically makes you sick.

(When you find the multitude of cameras placed strategically in various areas of your room, the short strands of blond hair laying next to your pillow in the mornings, the lingering smell of cum and musk that you know is not your own settling heavy over your bedroom, and of course when he eventually steals you away and you see the thousands upon thousands of videos and pictures he’s saved of you, it’ll become very clear exactly what’s going on).

You’ll be forced to realize that he completely beat you, that you trusted him and he knew it, but it’s too late.

You’re already too deep in, too unsure of what reality really is and how far his lies and deception of your own life really reaches, and Shalnark will capitalize on that.

He’ll use anything and everything he possibly can to make sure you stay his, to make sure you stay right by his side.

Obsessive

Fascination is an understatement for Shalnark's feelings towards you. You’re something he could – and does – stare at for hours, watching every little thing you do, soaking up every detail he possibly can about you.

You’re endlessly entertaining to him, and while he still prioritizes his duties for the Troupe above his own personal matters, every waking moment that the blond has free is spent behind the computer screen or outside your bedroom window.

Wide green eyes stare at your unaware form, seeing you live out your life that he wishes so desperately he could be a part of.

He has this compulsive need to learn everything he can about you, and years of studying and profiling certain events and people for work has led him to be incredibly skilled at stalking, in the most unconventional ways.

Almost immediately after his infatuation forms, Shalnark is installing cameras all over your apartment, the some fifty lenses angled so that he doesn’t miss a single thing. They're everywhere, so that he doesn’t not see you sleeping from three different directions, so that he doesn’t not see you showering with your naked and glistening body fully on display from an angle above you and below you.

(Below is his favorite, though, if only because the way you sometimes spread your legs to balance yourself makes his throat feel dry, the angle of your breasts making him audibly gulp and his hand wander down his chest).

It makes him feel connected to you, a boyish, fluttering feeling erupting in his chest every time he gets to see that cute little smile, your tired, sleepy eyes as you get ready for bed, the lewd and fucking perfect faces you make when you’re touching yourself.

The cameras are enough, for a while, but quickly he grows impatient, installing microphones and bugging devices all over to match with them.

Now he can hear what kind of music you like to put on while you cook dinner or clean, how often you talk to yourself, your little yelps of pain when you stub your toe.

Soon enough he’s hacking into all of your electronics, so that he can monitor what you look at, who you’re talking to, where you’re going. He’s recording your banking information, social security number, your passport information, sensitive facts that he has the absolute right to know, as your soon to be partner for life.

He wants to make it so that he’s not only inserting himself into your physical world, but your virtual and personal one as well, so that once the two of you are living together and having the happy, perfect life he dreams of, that he’ll know everything, that absolutely nothing will catch him off guard and threaten what he deems as perfect.

Shalnark has all your information stored in various folders on his computers, his phones, his everything, so that no matter where he is, if he has a free moment and he can’t watch the actual live footage of you, he can browse through the thousands of pages of facts and observations he’s made of you. It refreshes his memory as he stares down lovingly at the screen with a dopey smile, his cheeks flushed slightly pink.

And when Shizuku tilts her head and asks what he’s looking at, Shalnark has absolutely no shame – he’s showing everyone who asks pictures of you, gushing about how perfect you are and how much he loves you.

(He won’t, of course, show any more risqué pictures or lewd observations of your habits, if only because those are reserved only for him, but as time goes on slowly the idea of showing Feitan and Phinks and the others exactly how sexy and perfect his sweet little thing is grows harder and harder to ignore.)

In all honestly, the Troupe is mostly just happy for him, or at least indifferent. Pakunoda is a bit disturbed by the way he’s constantly watching you, but she says nothing, feeling happy that he has someone in his life to care about and live for, aside from the Spider of course.

Really, as Shalnark’s darling, the concept of privacy or personal space becomes completely non-existent – he will see everything you do, be aware of who you talk to. And when numbers suddenly block you, friends you hold dear no longer contacting you, he’s more than happy that be the man you come running to.

You’ll be crying in frustration and confusion, wondering why so many people seem to be mad at you for no reason, all the while he relishes in the smell of your hair and the feel of your body hugging his.

He’s too fully in ecstasy - and fully unwilling - to mention anything about him blocking their numbers, setting up your phone in such a way that you’ll never be talking to them again.

He'll have a hand in every possible aspect of your life – you won’t know, but Shalnark certainly will, and he couldn’t be happier.

After all, doesn’t looking out for you and getting to know you count as things girls love, traits of the perfect boyfriend? He thinks so, and as the bright light from the computer screens illuminates his face in the otherwise dark room as he watches you snuggle up into bed from the comfort of his office chair, he can only sigh and dreamily trace a finger along the outline of your relaxed body, whispering about how he can’t wait until the day I get to cuddle up next to you.

It would almost be cute if it wasn't so fucking creepy.

Clingy

Shalnark is hellbent on becoming a main, driving part of your life; he forces himself into every possible nook and cranny he can, wanting to make sure that he gets to spend time with you, to see your beautiful self not just through the cameras but also with his own eyes.

He wants to feel your soft skin as he grabs your wrist and leads you through the crowded marketplace, making sure to lean down and whisper into your ear to be careful, you should grab onto me so you don’t get lost, yeah?

He craves contact with you, whether it be simply existing in the same space as you, having your attention and gaze focused on him, or – his personal favorite – physical touch.

He loves the way your skin feels against his own; so soft and warm and supple, and at any given chance he’s subtly trying to hold your hand, to intertwine your fingers together under the guise of friendship.

(Though this kills him, if only because he wants so badly to tell you how in love he is, how much he wants you and needs you and fuck, it doesn’t take long for him to imagine how your fingers would feel against something else of his, something hard and wet and throbbing - and great, now he’s hard and you’re standing there all doe eyed and innocent while he remembers yesterday seeing the way you looked with that vibrator of yours stuffing your cute little hole full.)

He’s good at distracting you, asking you some question about a hobby of yours that he already knows the answer to. You light up and soon words are falling out of your mouth too quickly and passionately to notice the way his hand lingers on your side just a touch too long.

He isn’t too brave at first, not wanting to do anything that could compromise the careful progress of assimilating himself into your life, and just reaching out to blindly squeeze and grope at your tits and grind into your ass would definitely hinder his plan, despite how much he wants to.

He sticks mostly to small gestures, things that could be considered platonic should you mention something about it, but as time goes on he gets bolder, his hand resting on the small of your back sliding lower and lower, his eyes openly drifting below your collarbone, his tongue darting out and making a show of licking over his bottom lip.

Really, Shalnark just wants your attention, for the two of you to live in your own little bubble of a world, to be happy and together and completely in love, all with the added benefit of being flush against one another, feeling each other completely and not letting a single thing be hidden.

So when he’s calling you everyday, asking what you’re up to, showing up at your doorstep with takeout from your favorite restaurant, don’t be too surprised.

When you look to your side for a few seconds while you’re out and about, don’t question it when he physically moves so that he’s in your line of sight, that bright smile falling slightly as he grabs your shoulders and makes some kind of whiny joke about how you should be looking at me, dummy!

And don’t be shocked when his cold hand snakes under your shirt while you’re asleep, a soft moan tumbling from his lips as his eyes flutter closed when he rolls a nipple between his fingers, the softness of your skin leaving him smearing precum all along the inside of his boxers.

It’s all for you, the clinginess and neediness that he displays as time goes on, and while it’s a bit suffocating and strange, soon Shalnark is the only person you’re ever seeing. He's the only one you’re talking to and getting any response from, and you’ll be willing to sweep all of his questionable behavior under the rug, because he’s your friend, right?

And Shalnark couldn’t be happier – every moment spent with you is heaven, something he thrives on, and he’s absolutely sure that once he can drop all the platonic friend bullshit he’s luring you in with, you’ll be ever so happy to be giving him every ounce of yourself.

He's sure you'll eventually, at some point down the line, long to be touching him and loving him and kissing him like he’s the only person in your world – like he is your world.

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

Because of his clinginess and need for your attention to be on him and only him, Shalnark actually gets jealous often.

He’s constantly wanting you to be looking at him, thinking of him, talking to him, being around him, and the second that he sees you talking to another man, laughing and smiling at them like some whore, he’s angry, furious that you’re being so unfaithful, so clearly ungrateful for all the effort and love he’s constantly wanting to shower you in.

But still, if Shalnark is good at anything, it’s making sure to play situations perfectly, to make sure that he gets exactly what he wants out of others without doing any of the dirty work.

And so, as he clutches his red winged phone so tightly that his knuckles are turning white, he plasters on a wide, unnatural smile, mind racing as he thinks over his plan, already deciding exactly how to make sure that that piece of shit chatting you up, eyeing your curves and giving you a smirk that makes his skin crawl gets what he really deserves.

And of course, there’s also the added mission of teaching you a lesson. He'll make sure you understand that Shalnark himself is the only man you’ll ever truly need, the only one who can be exactly what you want, what you crave.

And so, while he’s beyond angry, stifling rage running through his veins, he’s forcing himself to breath, to squeeze his eyes closed and remember to breathe, think, she has no choice but to love you and only you.

He prefers methods of dealing with rivals where he’s more behind the scenes, and it’s in these moments that his nen type really, really shows – manipulating is how he’s managed to keep you interested in him thus far, to worm his way into your life, and it’s how he’ll keep you wanting him, becoming solely dependent on him like the good little girlfriend you should be.

It’s not wrong, of course not – manipulating you may be an unfortunate setback that Shalnark doesn’t particularly enjoy, but it's necessary.

Anything is necessary if it helps get you realize that you really have no choice in all of this, that your future has already been decided and not a single word or other man will change it.

Your laughter, while normally something that makes the blond’s heart skip a beat, does absolutely nothing but make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, rage seeping through every pore as he keeps his cheerful smile.

The muscles in his biceps bulge almost painfully the longer he watches the man next to you joke around, making flirtatious comments that have Shalnark’s eye twitching, resentment and displeasure that it’s not him making you flustered, making you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and look shyly to the ground hitting him in waves.

He’s pissed, but as his hand clench into fists, squeezing so tightly that the crescent shape of his nails draws small drops of blood, a small giggle leaves his lips, eyes lighting up as the perfect plan formulates in his mind.

Sure, you may think this guy is oh so sweet, a caring and perfect match for you, and the blond will let you continue on in your delusions for now.

It drives him crazy to see you wistfully humming to yourself and smiling at your reflection in the mirror later that night as you replay the fact that you got the mystery man’s number, and he was even taking you out the next night for dinner!

It makes his chest ache, his jaw hurt from how hard he’s clenching his teeth, but as he follows the tracker on his phone attached to the disgusting man’s hip, he can’t help the giddy excitement from erupting in his heart.

It’s easy to corner him – not surprisingly – and as he sticks the bat shaped needle into the man’s neck with no small amount of gentleness, he can only smile happily at the addition of a new playtoy, one with a very special mission in mind.

It’s torture waiting, but it's easy getting the man to send a quick text saying how he wants to move the date to his place, seeing as his roommate will be gone for the night.

Your response of oh, sure :) simultaneously irritates him and makes him sigh at how cute you are, how adorable and innocent and so easily playing right into his hands.

You look beautiful when you arrive at the man’s door – all dolled up and so fucking pretty, and for a moment Shalnark’s resolve falters, the desire to just whisk you away and kiss you, hold you, touch you hitting him square in the chest.

But he fights it back, having the man call out a rather loud ‘come in’ from behind the door, to which you hesitantly do so. And when you walk inside and see the events transpiring, Shalnark feels a strong twinge of satisfaction at the look of shock and hurt on your face.

The man you’d been planning on sharing a lovely evening with is balls deep inside another woman, grunting and groaning and talking about how beautiful she is.

You drop your purse, jaw hanging open as tears threaten to spill, all the while Shalnark is rapid fire typing in instructions, making the man turn to you and ask if you think she’s pretty too, if you really seriously thought that someone like you could ever land someone like him.

Soon your lower lip is wobbling, eyes puffy as you turn around and slam the door, humiliation and hurt washing over you in cold waves.

And when you return home, curling up on your bed and crying because god, how could you be stupid enough to think that someone that attractive would ever want you, Shalnark – ever the caring friend – will be knocking at your door.

His arms are stuffed with a collection of your favorite snacks and comfort foods, smiling brightly and asking you if you’d like to have dinner together. And when you answer in tears, trying to fight back your sobs and insecurities, immediately he’s jumping in – letting you vent to him as if he wasn’t already aware of the pain you’re undergoing.

He's holding you to his chest and soothing you, telling you how great you are, how the other man is blind for not seeing how much of a catch you are. He doesn’t love playing the shoulder for you to cry on, but it’s so worth it when you look up at him through teary eyes, sniffling and murmuring a small thank you Shalnark, I don’t know what I’d do without you.

He’ll just laugh, ruffling your hair slightly, ignoring the way his heart is practically in his throat because fuck you smell so good and Jesus he wants to kiss you so damn much, but he can't -

No, not when he’s slowly building his web of lies, forcing you to become more and more dependent, because isn’t he the only one who’s there when you need someone most, the only one who listens to your problems and helps you out no matter what?

He’s making sure that he’s always magically there to pick up the pieces of your heart – that he had, technically, broken, though not directly.

Eventually you’ll notice, realizing that maybe he’s the one you should start caring for, that you should just give up on other men and love Shalnark, the only who really seems invested in you.

The blond couldn’t be happier – the only thing better than your blind devotion to him is having you willingly do so.

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

For the most part, Shalnark is relatively patient when it comes to you.

You’re the object of his obsession, the thing he spends hours upon hours upon hours watching and studying, thinking of and dreaming about, and because of this he doesn’t mind putting in the effort to wait to steal you away until the perfect time, until you’re really ready to be completely aware of how truly under his control you are.

Besides, you’re incredibly fun to watch – every move you make is fascinating to him, your very existence something he could observe happily for the rest of his life.

Shalnark, at his roots, does desire a ‘normal’ relationship with you – he wants you to genuinely like him, to love him and want him, just as he does you, and while the urge to just sweep you into his arms, lock you up in his home and throw away the key is beyond tempting at times, he holds back.

He wants you to come to him, to be so dependent on him that the desire to leave, to be in the real, big scary world completely leaves you. And so, he waits and manipulates from the shadows, turning every friend, acquaintance and neighbor against you, until he’s all you have left.

And yet, in the back of his mind, Shalnark is aware that no matter how much he lies and cheats, how many fallacies he provides you with, you’re still smart – he knows you’ll eventually figure out who he really is, discover that he’s murdered hundreds, stolen countless priceless valuables, and he isn’t completely confident that you’ll still willingly come to him after that, something he absolutely cannot stand.

So while he holds on, he’s still preparing his home for your eventual arrival, be it forced or voluntary.

It’s not a big surprise to him when he hears your footsteps outside the doorway of your bathroom, your melodic voice asking him if everything is ok? You’ve been in there for a while, Shal…

But Chrollo can’t be ignored, and so when you carefully twist open the knob and walk in as the blond says something about how he’s planning on killing at least the twenty he was assigned for the next job, you freeze.

His green eyes meet yours, seeing your frightened expression darting all over him, and with a sigh he realizes that the blood from his most recent kill is splattered along the lavender of his outfit, the target putting up much more of a fight than he intended.

You’re frozen, and as Chrollo gives him an order and hangs up, the blond can only slump his shoulders and sigh, looking up at you with a lopsided smile as he says how unfortunate this is, because now I don’t have a choice, I’ve gotta take you away. Man, you really picked a bad time to check up on me! I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to do this. Well, let’s not waste any more time; I’ll see you in a few hours, sleep tight princess!

He’s quickly knocking you unconscious, cradling you against his chest and inhaling deeply, eyes fluttering closed as your scent engulfs him, before making his way to the home you’ll be staying in, the home fully furnished and ready for you.

As a captor, Shalnark isn’t too terrible – because he does genuinely want you to return his feelings, he isn’t as cold and sadistic as some of his companions and coworkers.

However, this by no means that you’ll have an easy time as his darling.

His habits of craving your attention, needing you to be looking at him and giving him the love and validation he craves doesn’t dissipate by any means. If anything, it only grows stronger because now he doesn’t have a screen separating you, layers of technology he’s forced to watch you through.

There’s no layer of decency he has to keep up, the air of simple friendship falling away once he gets you in his arms, snuggled up into his chest while he happily snoozes away.

No, now your relationship can grow and bloom in person, and so the touching begins – there’s absolutely no reason he can see why he shouldn’t be hugging you, snuggling you up in his arms as you fall asleep together on your shared bed, wandering hands all over your body while he tells you you’re cute as a button! How can I not touch you when you’re so adorable?

He’s handsy to an extreme – you won't get a moment of peace away from his strong fingers, his muscular arms that have so much more strength than they seem.

He’s insistent that you give him the affection and attention he wants, and while he’s moderately patient with you, he won’t tolerate you denying him of simple human touch for long.

No, Shalnark will be holding you, kissing you and intertwining your fingers, stripping you naked and stuffing you full of his cock while he moans your name and holds your hand.

(He’s needy, in all honesty, in a way that would almost be cute if he wasn’t a murderer, if he hadn’t stalked and kidnapped you, if only because the desperation for your attention is weirdly flattering.)

You won’t have a moment alone under his rule, and even if you think you do, you really, really don’t – just because you’re stuck under the same roof as him doesn’t mean that he calms down his habits of recording you, of keeping cameras poised in every corner of every room so that he misses absolutely nothing.

Except this time Shalnark makes no effort whatsoever to hide them – the black, almost oversized surveillance cameras are aimed right at you, the blinking red light mocking you from the corner of your eye as you try to sleep, as you try to entertain yourself with the few books he’s let you have, as you slip off the giant t-shirt (his t-shirt) to step into the shower.

He’s always watching, always wanting to keep tabs on you, so really it’s your choice whether you want him to be looking through a screen or in person – both are terrible options, but it really comes down to you and your acceptance of his overbearing, clingy touchiness and neediness.

Can you handle him talking your ear off for hours on end, holding you flush against his chest while he shivers and murmurs how good you smell, claiming it’s even better when you’re asleep?

The only saving grace when it comes to the blond is that he understands that technology is something most people have a dependence on, and he doesn’t really mind letting you have access.

He’ll give you a small, basic and outdated cell phone, with so many child locks and codes protecting you from anything that could be used to contact the outside that it would be pointless for you to even try and disable them.

However, he makes sure that the news feed is constant, though a bit warped – he wants you to know what’s going on, how life outside is terrible, how if you go out there you’ll only get killed or lose your home and job or raped or any number of horrible things, so why don’t you just stay with him?

He sifts through and only allows the most depressing, most disturbing of stories to reach you, and when you eventually get tired of hearing about a string of murders around the city lately, Shalnark is waiting with wide open arms for you to come cuddle, to come chat and ‘bond’, as he says.

And really, as time goes on you’ll stop caring.

You’ll stop trying to leave, to run away, to hurt or kill your captor.

You’ll give up, and Shalnark couldn’t be happier – he’s ready to have you, all of you, and your obedience and blind devotion to him is just another piece of the puzzle, one he desperately wants to finish.

PUNISHMENTS:

In general, Shalnark is actually quite lenient with you; he’s by no means a tame yandere, but generally he isn’t racing to punish you, to come down on you with an iron fist and make you cry and beg for mercy.

He wants you to like him, and while he knows that manipulating someone isn’t healthy, Shalnark couldn’t care less – everything he does to you is unhealthy, what’s another thing added on?

It takes a fair amount for him to get mad, and for the most part you won’t even really know that he’s angry; his happy go lucky demeanor doesn’t really go away, that smile dripped in venom no matter what’s going on, what he’s talking about or what you’re doing.

You’ll end up having to walk around eggshells around him, constantly questioning whether you’ve fucked up and said something you shouldn’t have, of whether the particular smile he’s giving you is more tight than usual, if his voice seems higher.

It’s all one big guessing game, which is exactly what Shalnark wants – he wants you to be on the edge of your seat, to be constantly wondering what he’s thinking, how he’s feeling, him him him.

He’s in your relationship for the long haul; you might be afraid of him still, nervous that he’ll snap at any given moment, and while he doesn’t like that you’re still so stiff and unresponsive to his attempts at cuddling, at fucking you to make you feel good too, Shalnark knows it’s only a matter of time.

He generally uses fear tactics to keep you in line, most notably the constant underlying threat that he’s always watching, that there’s nothing you can do that he doesn’t see, no moment you have where you’re truly alone.

And while it isn’t something particularly frightening, it will fuck with your head – knowing there’s always a presence hovering over you, weighing down your every move, not letting you have an ounce of privacy would be enough to scramble anyone’s mind, to make anyone go mad and crazy and maybe even fall in love with their captor?

Fear is his go to method, and Shalnark is nothing if not resourceful when it comes to dealing with your misbehavior.

That being said, Shalnark actually doesn’t get angry at you too often.

Rather, he’s entertained by your attempts to defy him, your efforts to leave the prison he’s trapped you in, even knowing all of the safeguards he has up to make sure you do exactly the opposite.

It’s cute, really, how you keep trying and trying and trying, even when he reminds you time and again that he can see every little thing you do. It’s endearing, but Shalnark knows that cutting it off is the best course of action, no matter how entertaining it is to watch you try.

And so, when the subtle reminders of don’t you see the camera, angel? That’s really funny that you think I’m not seeing you try and pick the door lock with that bobby pin you found! don’t work anymore, Shalnark turns to a solution that’s a much different approach, and one that’ll likely get you stopping any sort of rebellious behavior for good.

That is, when you bash your fist against the bulletproof glass window again and again until you’re bleeding and bruised, Shalnark can only tut-tut, sighing heavily and wrapping your wounds with bandages borrowed from Machi.

I know you were trying to escape, babe. I love you, but the next time you try anything like that again you get to choose which family member dies.

His voice is still light and fluffy as he says those words that have you freezing, anger, frustration and terror lacing through you while he does little more than stick out his tongue in concentration as he works to perfectly arrange the bandages.

You know he isn’t joking – he’s a mass murderer, a sick son of a bitch that has no qualms keeping you against your will, making you cry, so why wouldn’t he kill your loved ones as well?

Your behavior is much better for a while after that, something that pleases Shalnark greatly – you’re much more receptive to his affection than previously, much more willing to tell him you love him, to sit patiently as you wait for him to return from troupe work, to obediently open your mouth and let him fuck your tight little throat without so much as a struggle.

You both know it’s out of fear, but Shalnark has to admit that he likes it – though he’s sure your honest love -based devotion would be better, but he’ll take what he can get.

However, he knows that just keeping you in line on threats alone isn’t enough; which is why he slips Feitan the few thousand Jennys and an address, telling him to take the ring finger along with the ring, but don’t kill them! Feel free to get it as bloody as you want though – the flashier the better!

And when he returns home from a troupe meeting the next day with a pretty little box wrapped in red wrapping paper with a white bow, you’ll be left wondering what in the hell it could be as he eagerly pleads with you to open it! It’s just for you angel, I can’t wait to see what you think!

You weren’t sure what you were expecting, in all honesty, but as you lift the top up and come face to face with the severed finger of your mother, her wedding ring familiar to you sitting right over the bloody, jagged numb with bone sticking out, you can’t hold back the vomit climbing up your throat.

You’re sick for a good twenty minutes, hurling until nothing comes up right there on the wooden floors, Shalnark holding your hair back for you and cooing while he rubs your back.

Tears spill down your cheeks, the smell of death and puke swirling through your nostrils while he wipes at your eyes, smiling with his eyes closed, the picture of unbothered happiness.

Don’t worry, she’s not dead! But she will be, unless you keep up the good behavior you’ve had lately. This is just a little incentive to make sure that you stay in line, yeah?

You cry that night, curled up in a fetal position with your eyes stinging and throat hoarse, but it doesn’t stop Shalnark from spooning you, from rutting his hips against your ass and whispering in your ear that he wants you, now strip and show me how good you’re willing to be.

You’ll hate it, hate him, but for the sake of your family you’ll play the part of a good girlfriend, his doting lover.

Eventually, he’ll have you so screwed up, so fucked up and unsure of what’s real and what’s not that you won’t even be pretending anymore.

And Shalnark can’t wait for that day.

OVERALL DANGER:

9/10

While he won’t ever physically harm you, Shalnark checks off a whole myriad of boxes on the checklist of terrible people to be obsessed with you.

He’s clingy, always needing your attention and not giving you a moment of peace away from his wandering hands and oh so sweet voice, not taking no for an answer as he pulls your body closer.

He's sighing in your ear and chirping on and on about this new heist the troupe is doing, how he’s promising to get you this pretty ring he knows is being sold.

He’s watching your every move; cameras placed in every square inch of both your real home and the place he decides will be your shared home, all of them focused in and zoomed onto your every movement, almost as if they can pick up every thought that passes through your mind too.

Shalnark has absolutely no qualms threatening family members, slowly but surely molding you into the perfect partner for him through fear and intimidation and just honest to god wearing you down.

He’s methodical, almost scarily so, and the truth of the matter is that you’re never escaping him.

It’s almost impossible with the sheer number of cameras and trackers placed around and on you, but even if you do somehow manage to?

Well, Shalnark loves challenges, and when he eventually drags you kicking and screaming back to your ‘home’, be prepared to find the severed head of your sibling wrapped in a present box with a little tag saying for my naughty girl and a night of long, painful, rough fucking that’ll leave you sore for days.

He’s obsessed, and lucky, lucky you gets to deal with being the focus of every ounce of his attention, devotion and entertainment; good fucking luck, you’ll need it.

#_shalnark #_lee's profiles #yandere hxh #hxh x reader #yandere shalnark

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mermaidsirennikita · 3 months

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a huge issue with romance right now (and I mean, tbh? commercial lit in general, it's arguably worse for YA atm) is that people are currently considering books about people who do not act the way the reader morally thinks they should... flawed

like, y'all think a character being intentionally written as a problematic individual is a FLAW, when in fact it was a CHOICE the author made, usually to incite conflict and/or trigger character development

I mean, I'll use Laura Kinsale's Flowers from the Storm (a book a Goodreads user I was mutuals with told me not to read when I simply added it to my TBR) as an example

Jervaulx is a SHITTY PERSON. We are introduced to him while he's in bed with his mistress, a married woman; he realizes she's pregnant and casually tells her to go fuck her husband to trick him into thinking the baby is his, because Jervaulx ain't got time for that baby or that woman. He then meets a fellow math nerd who is blind (which by the way, love that he is also into math, man contains multitudes) and notices that the blind man's daughter is a) hot and b) a Quaker.

Jervaulx asks this man "do you know what your daughter looks like" the man tells him it's been a long time since he saw her, and Jervaulx basically takes this as an opportunity to very seductively describe this woman, even though SHE IS A QUAKER AND IS CLEARLY MADE UNCOMFORTABLE (and turned on, let's be real) BY BEING DESCRIBED IN A SEXY WAY IN FRONT OF HER DAD (who absolutely does not pick up on what Jervaulx is putting down but whatever).

This man... is an asshole. And he's an asshole on purpose, because the entire story is about taking a man who has a lot of power and a lot of casual ability and privilege and bringing him down to an EXTREMELY low point, which results in heavy character development (and which does NOT, I should add, turn him into a perfect person! Because people aren't supposed to be perfect! Because perfection is boring, and while boring may work in real life... maybe... it does not work in a story in which we are supposed to have plot and character and forward motion).

BUT NEVER FEAR. Maddy, the aforementioned Quaker and his heroine, is also KINDA UNLIKABLE. Because she is so devoted to her faith (to the degree that it would be hard for readers to relate to her, even when the book was published decades ago) and she is frankly snobby, and closed off, and judgmental. She has GOOD INTENTIONS much of the time, but she is not initially a very emotionally accommodating woman, and even when Jervaulx is brought low, she does not WANT to like him. Because he is not a Quaker, he is not a Friend, and Maddy is not, in the beginning, open to the idea that you can be a good person or become a good person without conforming to the worldview that she has been convinced is morally correct. And in fact, her worldview may not actually BE wholly correct, even if it does have solid points that disrupt a corrupt class system.

It's almost like many readers could also benefit from learning that their worldviews about what makes a good person and character could in fact be flawed and unrealistic and

Fiction is not meant to be didactic and the fact that the current market is increasingly punishing authors for writing books that are not is incredibly disturbing. It's why we have so many books that are either incredibly boring, or swing towards cheaply written dark romance which is not actually good (to be clear: I think dark romance CAN absolutely be good). There's a desperate market for it, I think, because at least that's something readers who want something not Good and Dull can latch onto

Basically: please God read more books about people who are kinda shitty and plots that are kind gray, I promise they won't bite

#romance novel blogging

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michellemisfit · 3 months

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Tag Game Wednesday 🤟

Tagged by these lovely humans who have not given up on me, even though I have suuuucked at playing games with y’all. Thank you @heymacy @mybrainismelted @darlingian @creepkinginc @suzy-queued @energievie @guinguin1984

Special thanks to @deedala for enriching my little paddock 🦙

THIS OR THAT - The rules are simple: two things, you must choose one.

iced coffee or hot coffee?

I don’t drink coffee and hate the flavour so… iced, as taste buds work less well at colder temperatures 🧊

iced tea or hot tea?

Hot, please 🫖

lemonade or sweet tea?

Lemonade. Sweet tea dries my mouth out

minty gum or fruity gum?

Mint. Always freaks me out when I accidentally put fruit gum in my mouth lol

pasta or potatoes?

Pasta. There some potato things that I LOVE, but others I’m meh about. Whereas ALL PASTA IS GOOD PASTA.

olives or pickles?

Pickles 😋

rice or bread?

Bread!! I love risotto, but otherwise rice is meh.

cookies or brownies?

🤤 I want them both, but Chani was 100% correct. Homemade cookies are amazing!!! But shop bought cookies are sometimes incredibly meh, whereas even a meh brownie is pretty fucking good!! So I choose brownies!

hand written reminders or phone reminders?

Phone reminders. My phone calendar, alarms, and notes section literally runs my life. Sometimes there’s a phone reminder telling me to write hand written reminder… lol

pull-over hoodie or zippy hoodie?

Zipper Superiority 🤟

jeans or sweatpants?

Sweatpants. Not worn jeans since 2019 lol

flip-flops/thongs or slides?

Neither, as I need arch support, but… the flip flop strap between my toes makes me want to claw my eyes out so… slides?

paperback book or ebook?

Paperback book. I always read with a pen in my hand to underline things and write comments in the margins. Can’t do that in an e-reader.

enemies to lovers or fwb to lovers?

Enemies to Lovers my beloved!!

only one bed or fake dating?

Fake Dating pines so good!!! Also agreeing to be handsy and snuggly for show, while desperately trying to act unaffected? BARK BARK

hurt/comfort or whump?

Good Whump is the bee’s knees, but sadly just as hard to find. @sam-loves-seb whumped the hell out of last October, but Whump of that quality is hard to come by, so for pure availability I have to choose H/C

mutual pining or amnesia?

Amnesia, baby!

cannon compliant or alternate universe?

AU, because the sky is the limit!!

soulmate au or sports au?

Sports AU love of my life!!! ⚽️🏀🏈⚾️🥎🎾

celebrity au or coffeeshop au?

Coffee shop every single time. You know how sometimes you enter a new fandom and you go looking and there… just… aren’t any coffee shop AUs? Wtf is up with that?!? They are a staple and what fandom is built on, surely!

one-shot or longfic?

I love long fic but I also have commitment phobia and a lot of anxiety over “wasting” time reading fic when I could be being productive, so… one-shots are nice! And a good one-shot packs a punch like no other!!

AND FINALLY....😈

milkovich or gallagher?

Let’s just be honest here… the Milkoviches would scare the everliving daylights out of me in real life, and if anyone I knew dated one I would do everything in my power to break up that relationship, without getting shivved. So… Gallagher lol.

That was fun!!

I would like to tag @vintagelacerosette @too-schoolforcool @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @mickeysgaymom @ian-galagher @lupeloto @crossmydna @rereadanon @the-rat-wins @tsuga-of-mars @crestfallercanyon @ohkate @palepinkgoat @thepupperino @captainjowl @francesrose3 @iandarling @mikhailoisbaby

#tag game Wednesday #tag game #Mys stuff #tag you’re it

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docholligay · 16 days

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I know GoT only by reputation, and what little I've seen of it on tumblr, but... sometimes, I feel like fantasy, as a genre, has been absolutely ruined by the success of GoT. Everything these days seems to be about making settings and characters as nasty, brutish, and dirty as possible. It's incredibly tiring, and really frustrating, to the point of feeling like these sorts of tropes are being repeated for their own sake rather than because they actually do anything for the story or characters.

(Also, being the sort of person who easily becomes queasy at the sight or thought of blood, and has issues with everything being so darned loud, this tends to be a particular pet peeve in television, but even books aren't completely immune to this effect either, which makes it doubly frustrating.)

I mean this in the nicest possible way, please imagine me saying this with a big smile on my face and laughing as I take a swig from my beer, but you and I are SO diametrically opposed on this!

I mean, anything can be written BADLY, of course, but I fell out of reading fantasy as i got older not because it all became A Song of Ice and Fire but because it all seemed to be "a brave young woman!! IS the chosen one!! And she will prevail over SUPER DARKNESS. And only the parental figure will die, to motivate her, and everyone's intentions and clear and good, and also there are dragons I guess." There's so much narrative safety. There's so many last-minute asspulls to save someone. I would LOVE some well written political machination but there are dragons though. That's why I liked Locke Lamora!

I think we have a tendency to notice the things we hate. So for me, Fantasty now is fucking lousy with ~queer retellings~ that are all very life affirming and nice and all that but all the eating each other out in the world isn't going to get me over the hump of wishing there were actual, painful consequences for being an idiot, or even just unlucky.

Part of why people named Doc, who are me, really like Song of ice and Fire (please note I actually DON'T like Game of Thrones) is that anyone COULD die. The books would not CHEAT TO HELP THE GOOD GUY WIN. And for me, that was everything. As a young teen who had read so so so much fantasy but was starting to feel really resentful of the way it never seemed to mirror the moments of difficulty and pain in life, it meant so much (I think the show edged too hard toward Cheating To Help The bad Guy Win, but that's another matter)

But obviously you and I are totally different people. You admit to being squeamish, so of course you don't care for things that involve violence. I, on the other hand, am an excellent person to have in any given bloody crisis, as I have Done Time in Ag. I am, to give a real life example, the person you calmly call into the kitchen to help when you've nearly taken your finger off with a meat slicer. I have a smile and a "We can handle this!" to give. I, on the third hand, have had life experiences that make, "the magical salvation of being nice and believing really hard" feel like an actual-ass insult. I never met a war that didn't take its chunk, and you don't get to pick where they come from.

These are just differences of personality. Fucking magical princess witches in the forest running from the bad guys but overcoming it all with sass and gay love because we're twelve I guess exists for you, and grimdark machinations toward a lead crown of thorns where evil brings profit and virtue none at all because fuck happiness everyone should be a German concrete salesman is for me. I think there's probably more of what both of us like than either of us are actually admitting.

However, everything is too loud for me all the time also, I really recommend eargasm earplugs, which come with a very small container and are nearly invisible and discreet when in. They block some of the sound but not all of it. Many people in my life casually don't even know I have them or sometimes put them in for louder places.

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leupagus · 1 year

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Live Gus Reacts! After a nap

So this one isn't going to be long because my carpal tunnel is acting up, but I loved this episode. Yes, there were some after-school-special elements, but I think Chuck Hayward knocked it out of the park, especially considering this was his only screenplay for this show (of course, he's won Emmys for Wandavision and is about to run his own show so dude knows what he's about). It felt much more interwoven than last week's, and certainly flowed a lot better.

I'm hilarified that Edyta Budnik's Polish background was used for Jade's character, similar to how most of the Richmond players' actual backgrounds are used on the show (and why I had her reading a book in Polish in the WifeGuy fic I'm writing). I will say that Rupert, specifically, clocking that was an interesting moment because there is a very real (and ugly) history of prejudice against Polish immigrants in England; Rupert was not being charming there, by any means. The whole interaction with Rupert and Nate in this episode was really fascinating, because Rupert's clearly alarmed at the fact that Nate is getting outside support — he was so effective at cutting Nate completely off from everyone at Richmond, but here Nate is, building his own network here (Roger's invitation suggests to me that this isn't the first time Nate's been out with the West Ham staff/team after a game). And for Rupert, that's unacceptable — Nate's become as much a "possession" to him as Rebecca once was, so he's going to try his best to keep Nate isolated. Unfortunately for him, Nate is still The Great and is learning to balance his newfound pride with his enduring kindness. So however that shakes out will be fun to watch, I think. (All the fingers crossed that it ends with Rupert getting struck by lightning, because really how could you improve on mardia's masterpiece.)

One thing I hate about this storyline, though, is that Nick Mohammed is still having to field abuse from racist fans who think he hasn't "atoned" enough to be allowed happiness or character growth; I love seeing more of Nate, but not at the expense of Mohammed having to deal with this bullshit.

Re: the Colin storyline, I can't really say whether or not it was handled well or poorly, because my personal reaction to it has overwritten that kind of objective analysis. I've read a few reactions, which run the gamut, and I can see how those scenes may have left people disappointed/elated/angry/satisfied. For me, knowing that this episode was written by a Black man my age, from my mom's alma mater (and uhhhh glad to see they changed the mascot from when she went there) and that he and Dylan Marron were the two writers "in charge" of Colin's storyline does make me more inclined to see the choices — Ted's ridiculous Denver Broncos analogy, Isaac's lashing out and somewhat remedial "how does gay work" questions — as deliberate explorations of how straight men can and do react to finding out their friend is gay: not perfectly or even well, but borne out of love and respect and desire to protect. I was very grateful that the entire team immediately accepted Colin, because the last thing I wanted in that moment was "realism." Ditto with Colin's playing improving in the second half of the game, now that his two lives are (at least partially) connected; that's likely not what would happen IRL but I didn't care, even a little bit.

I'll admit I VERY much dig Rebecca as Tough Mom character this season; she's been doling out some extremely good advice to people, and it's delightful to me. Yes, she's a main character who's not getting enough to do, but like Ted I think the show still works when she's not in the spotlight, and when she gets to be the one offering support rather than needing it. And I adore her and Roy's weird-ass relationship, it's just incredible to get these glimpses into how they see each other.

Other than that: Sam giving Jamie the middle finger AND a beautiful smile was amazing, Jamie being pleased to be clocked as queer was interesting, the Higgins And Rebecca Buddies Fun Time is still great, and I want every one of Trent Crimm's t-shirts. And a clementine.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #believe mothereffers #also did anyone else notice Michelle's absolutely exhausted 'please ted we gotta let the teacher go' tone #like god bless and I love Ted dearly #but Ted when he's in full Win You Over mode really is EXHAUSTING

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chicken-fifi · 5 months

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Kim Geonwoo (Bloodhounds) | A-Z

Pairing: Kim Geonwoo x Fem!Reader

Requested by anon: If it's not too much trouble for you can you please write sfw alphabet for bloodhounds? I have read your other fics before and I really loved it ❤️ I would really appreciate it if you accept my request. And it's ok if you can't. Thank you anyways ❤️

A/n: i'm so far behind on these requests man!

A - Attractive: What do they find attractive about each other?

Solely based on the vibes this bby gives off in the show, I think he’d be the most attracted to a non physical quality of yours. Something like your selflessness (as seen in Hand in There) or your determination to see the good in things or try to understand him even if you didn’t necessarily agree with his decisions/actions (as seen in Promises for the Future)

B - Baby: Do they want a family?

Apart from the fact I basically gave him in Promises for the Future, I do think Geonwoo would ultimately want to form a family. He wants a family that he can actively be a part of, be the dad he didn't get a chance to have (I think that was a thing, his dad passes leaving them in debt right?). He would definitely be a family man and it would really help him start a new chapter of life and heal him in the process. We all saw how defeated he appeared after coming to terms with the fact that at the end of the show he was no different than the Bloodhounds of Smile Capital

C - Comfort: How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Very hands on and vocal. He’s hugging and holding you as he whispers words of endearment and encouragement into your ear to try and get you through whatever it is that is going on. He also urges you to talk through it

D - Dates: What are dates with him like?

Food related at places where he can show off his grilling skills. I also expect he spends a lot of the boxing money he wins from his matches on you too. They do tend to be very casual since he is very money conscious at times. He’s incredibly attentive too and always taking care of you during these dates. Def an acts of service boy in this department

E - Equal: Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

I wanna say more passive, but not quite passive. I wouldn’t say equals though since in my head you certainly have a more dominant role in most things. But he does have his dominant moments where what he says is what he expects to happen (especially when it comes to your safety). He definitely just prefers to just go along with what you want since it makes you happy and spending time with you makes him happy

F - Feelings: When did they know they were in love?

You’re not a violent person nor do you like violence in the slightest - for entertainment or anything really. So when he first started boxing, he didn’t expect you to be on board with it or even attend any of his matches (prior to COVID). So when you not only supported him, but went out of your way to learn about the types of food that would provide him the best nutrition possible during his workouts and pre/post matches he was floored. And then you went to one of his matches. You may not like or support violence in any sense but you supported him. If that wasn’t love, he didn’t know what was. This is the same time you realize you’re in love, because you wouldn’t have done it for anyone else but him

G - Gratitude: How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Geonwoo is so incredibly aware of everything when it comes to you. The example from above about the nutrition stuff you learned is an example. He catches on real quick that you are buying foods that are high in protein and healthy fats (which he finds out you had to look into after finding a book on the coffee table one night). He knows that you don’t have to do that, especially given your stance on the whole boxing situation, which is why he always makes sure to thank you and take care of you as best as he can. You get flowers and even more spontaneous dates and gifts every week or regularly as he can just to relieve you of the stress you may be harboring

H - Honesty: Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Yep! He doesn’t want to get you involved in the Smile Capital situation immediately. While you knew about it, having either been present when his mom’s shop was originally trashed or the attack on his home, he still tried to keep you in the dark about as many of the specifics as he could. But other than that, he’s pretty open, keeping mainly surprises and more taxing manners to himself before he shares them

I - Inspiration: Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I suppose that since you entered his life he’s much more focused on having a stable and safe future. Not that he wasn’t before, because he was, but now with you in his life it’s something that he’s constantly working towards and puts at the forefront of everything that he does. Those who don’t know him very well will look at this and just think it’s Geonwoo being Geonwoo, but those who are close to him notice the determination even more after you enter his life

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

A part of me wants to say yes, about how easily he gets jealous. And he gets pouty too. Man wants all of your attention on him. I would say he’s very much a golden retriever boyfriend. He honestly sits her moping and pouting until you give him your attention again. On more than a couple occasions though, I imagine he would also try and scare off some guys that are obviously making your uncomfortable with this boxing physique alone

K - Kiss: Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

I don’t remember if the show touches on previous relationships for either of the two main leads, but in my little world I’d imagine you’re his first everything. So everything is very new for Geonwoo. He’s a good kisser, but it certainly did take some time for him to get to that point. In my head, he was scared of doing too much and he was also focused on making sure you felt comfortable. So the very first kiss was very shy and experimental. They stay like that for a bit, but not very long

L - Love Confession: How would they confess to their s/o?

He’s stumbling over his words as he’s telling you, but he gets it out without fail. It’s very cute

M - Marriage: Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

It is certainly on his mind, it may take a few years to get there since he does want to be financially, emotionally, and physically able to provide the married life you deserve, but it will happen. His proposal is very private, honestly. He might take you out to a very isolated part of a park or woods and propose there as the sunsets or something. Maybe the first place you met or had your date, without drawing attention of course. He’s the provider or at least attempts to be, because he also enables you to do things on your own. Think, “I know you can do it, but let me,” if that makes sense. You will certainly be supported and well loved that for sure

N - Nicknames: What do they call their s/o?

Him: Something cringingly sweet/cute, cutie, Baby,

You: Geon, Woo, Baby,

O - On Cloud Nine: What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He’s like a golden retriever puppy on crack. You might as well be running marathons in his mind with how often you’re on it. If someone doesn’t notice the lovestruck look on his face they are BLIND. He’s def an acts of service guy I feel

P - PDA: Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

As golden retrievery as he is, he’s very shy when it comes to PDA. He might hold your hand or keep a hand at the small of your waist, but he’s very reserved in that sense I feel. He doesn’t want to draw attention to it, but not because he doesn’t want people to know that you’re together, but because he wants this to be your own little thing. Something just for the two of you

Q - Quirks: Something you do that he loves

You’re an avid reader here (reader of what idk, you just read!). The number of emotions you show on your face in the span of seconds when you read things without realizing it is something he loves. He could honestly watch you read all day long and never get tired

R - Romance: How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s pretty romantic and cliche, but he does it in a way that appeals to you and your tastes. Man’s down for anything that would make you happy

S - Support: Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

It’s honestly an issue how much he does to support you, emotionally, physically, and financially. If you need any money for something you’re doing, setting up a company or opening a shop, he makes sure to give it to you without complaint and offers help in any way he can. This man will sing you praises about how much he knows you’re going to succeed and never allow you to doubt yourself

T - Thrill: Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

There’s certainly a preference for routine, being a boxer and all, but he’s also very spontaneous. He’s always keeping the two of your on your toes

U - Understanding: How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Is it just me or does this marshmallow of a man scream empathy? No? Okay. SO incredibly empathetic man. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s also incredibly observant when it comes to you. Like, he notices when the slightest things are off and tries his best to make things easier for you or fix something if it’s because of him

V - Value: How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

You’re his family now so you automatically share a place with his mom. He puts the two of you on pedestal first and foremost in everything. Literally. If you need anything, he could be in the middle of a training session or out at a restaurant with Woojin, he’s gone in a second and on his way to you without an ounce of hesitation

W - Whole: How do they feel about you being in their life?

Teenage girl with a crush. He’s so iubjgtkauibjthgsbuijkazjk. He’s so happy (and he’s happy on a regular basis!)

X - Xylophone: What is your song?

To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra

Y - Yearning: How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

You ever see those tiktok of the golden retriever bf/hubby losing their gf/wife anywhere? That’s him! Even the dog ones fit. So when he’s missing you, he’s genuinely mopey and down in the dumps. But even the most simple text or picture or phone call fixes it immediately. Wish this man luck right before a match and he’s BEAMING

Z - Zeal: Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

What lengths isn’t he willing to go is the real question. I find it hard to believe that he will ever give up on the two of you, that just not who is, especially when you never gave up on him

#kdrama masterlist #kdrama #kdrama headcanons #bloodhounds #bloodhounds masterlist #bloodhounds headcanon #bloodhounds geonwoo #bloodhounds kim geonwoo #geonwoo #kim geonwoo #geonwoo headcanons #kim geonwoo headcanons

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itsyourimaginaryworld · 1 year

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Winter Nights | Darkiplier x Gender Neutral!Reader

Ship: Darkiplier x Gender Neutral!Reader Requested by: @fluffyfranny Warnings: horror (mild) Summary: Reader walks home alone on a winter night and Dark decides to mess with them. Notes: Posting this almost an entire year later, but I hope you still enjoy. I will write everything in my inbox eventually! x Words: 591

‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿

Winter season had its pros and its cons. You had your snowy nights like these, which depending on how you looked at it, could be a good thing or a bad thing. You had hot chocolate and a cozy fireplace to look forward to when you’d get home, and you could sit in your blanket all snuggled up and reading a book (or more likely, scrolling through tumblr on your laptop.)

The cons, though... First of all you were incredibly cold, which had you cursing yourself for not bringing a better jacket for this weather. And second of all, the nights came way too early. The clock had barely hit quarter past five and it was already pitch black outside, not even a little bit of light from outer space to guide you, giving you a sense of fear as you walked through the empty streets by yourself.

Only a few more blocks to go. At least the snow had stopped falling down. You stopped for a second to brush the flakes out of your already wet hair and off of your jacket, when your eyes suddenly landed upon him.

The man in the suit stood under a flickering streetlight. Darkiplier, is what he had called himself. You’d only seen him a few times before, always during the nights after you watched horror movies, and while he had never hurt you, his presence was deeply unsettling to say the least. He had a red and blue glitchy effect around him, splitting him up in a sense, something you could only categorize as paranormal. But you knew in your heart that he was real, and not just a part of your wild imagination.

Because he had told you. He had showed you.

Tonight, however, something more was going on. Perhaps it was your already paranoid nature, but you needed to get away from him immediately. The two of you had already locked eyes, but maybe, it was not too late for you to turn around...

So you hurried off, adrenaline starting to surge through your veins now that you had turned your back on him. Into an alleyway you went, and you could hear footsteps behind you, closing you in.

“(Y/N)...”

His voice was so familiar and so nearby. You swallowed, tears now sparking into your eyes. Your fight-or-flight response started carrying you and you ran and ran, only to be faced with a dead-end at the end of the alleyway.

Oh no... God, please no—

“(Y/N), there’s no need to be so rude.”

You screamed as you turned around, covering your face with your arms and backing yourself into the brick wall as much as you could. Dark simply stood there, arms crossed over each other and a cold-blooded expression on his face.

He reached out. You prepared yourself for whatever was coming, hoping your death would be quick and painless. You closed your eyes tightly as the tears rolled down your face.

Dark put his arms around you and pulled you into him, your face buried in his neck now. While you were still scared, a part of you was met with surprise, and a sense of comfort that felt so misplaced. You felt his warm body against yours and his strong arm around your back, then making its way up to your head.

His other arm went to your chest and he rested his hand on your racing heart.

“You’re so easily scared, (Y/N),” Dark said with a chuckle as he brushed his fingers through your hair. “Don’t you know by now that I would never hurt you?”

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gabessquishytum · 1 year

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Ok so we may have an issue… the idea of that hysterical literature au has wormed its way into my brain and I think I maybe have a completely new kink? Unfortunate, as there’s like… not too much content like that, but god does it something special for me. anyways, Ive been thinking:

What if Dream’s never revealed his face or anything else about himself, he’s incredibly well known but also incredibly secretive. He reaches out to Hob’s agent. (And then watches through more of hob’s content, falling a bit more for hob’s easy smile and kind demeanor every time.)

On Hob’s side of things he’s just finished this project with a book he adores, he’s gone back and read through Dream’s book twice after filming, checked out what he could from the local library, and ordered the rest. He’s just so so enamored with the prose (and maybe a bit with the secretive writer). The video was a smash hit, and he’s been inundated with requests for more already. Then his agent calls, tells him that the author of the book reached out. Hob completely didn’t expect that, he’s gained a fairly devoted following, but he isn’t a Big Name or anything. He’s a bit worried at first, Was Dream upset? Did he want to sue or have it taken down? And then he gets told that dream would like to talk about doing more things with his books together? hob nearly faints in response. His agent (Matthew? Jessamy? Lucienne? Death? I’m partial to death maybe) has to make sure he’s not dead or in shock. He spends damn near a whole day just processing this information, and then responds with only slightly curbed enthusiasm. The two exchange words and ideas, both crushing helplessly on the other and consistently (and a bit guiltily) masturbating to each other’s body of works. there’s so much potential for feelings, smut, pining, a bit of mental anguish, and a healthy dose of shenanigans along the way

This could end any number of ways!

Maybe at some point Dream sees Hob in the pasta aisle of the grocery store, or at a favorite small local restaurant. He immediately leaves or hides or runs away, blushing furiously, but not before Hob sees him.

Maybe one of them writes up an overly indulgent never-to-be-sent email draft expressing their feelings. Only to have it accidentally send. Maybe they meet at a fancy event and hook up.

Maybe there’s meddling on the part of their respective agents.

who knows!

Love,

💍 anon

AMAZING!!!!! Just. Omg. This au is SO good and I’m so pleased you’ve expanded on it here!! I’m obsessed.

Just. All the feelings that must be going on!!! Hob is half in love with Dream just through reading his books, and even though they’ve never met he’s just absolutely captivated by him. As they exchange emails, Hob just can’t work out why Dream is being so cool and nice to him, and enthusiastic about the project!!! Hob adores his career and is very proud of what he’s achieved, but he expects that someone like Dream would look down on his life choices and be rather judgemental. But Dream is polite, interested, always keen to take Hob’s point of view when they work together. Hob is still doing other shoots but he’s constantly thinking about Dream, his books, his way with words. It’s an obsession at this point.

Dream is in the exact same mental state!!! Hob is constantly sending him drafts of their collaborative project to get his opinion on the quality of the reading, the amount of build-up towards each climax, even his outfit! Poor Dream is trying to offer a professional, artistic opinion but he can’t even think about it properly until he’s wrung himself dry of orgasms. He’s a complete disaster and all he wants to do is write about Hob… so he does. He makes Hob into the protagonist in his latest novella, about a man who is driven to ecstasy when he hears the music of a certain composer. It’s… a thinly viewed depiction of real life.

And when Dream finishes the draft, he sends it off to Matthew for a read-through. Or at least he means to send it to Matthew. Instead, it ends up attached to his latest email to Hob, and he doesn’t realise until it’s too late.

Does Hob work out that Dream has written this new story about him? Unfortunately he’s a little bit oblivious… until he records himself reading it just like he’s done with the other stories, and he suddenly gets a very pleasant bolt of post-nut clarity and finally realises that maybe he does have a shot with Dream after all <3

#💍 anon #dreamling #the sandman #nsft #hysterical literature au

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lex-is-up-all-night-to-get-bucky · 2 years

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I Wanna Bake It With You (A Bucky Drabble)

This is just a bit of fluff that's been kicking around my head. Not part of any story, really. No real warnings, just super fluffy headcanon-type thing. Fem!Reader, though no description listed.

Summary: Bucky's a secret baker. A guy who throws down cupcakes like it's going out of fashion as a way to handle his anxiety and nerves. And he's nothing but a ball of nerves where you're concerned.

You're friends, besties even, but oh, what he wouldn't give for something more.

Summer afternoons on the weekends in the Tower were incredibly slow.

Outside of folks on missions or at training, most everyone had made themselves scarce, out enjoying life beyond the walls that constrained them.

Which is what made Bucky feel safe enough to do what he wanted to do.

Oh, he could get out of the place if he wanted. A million and one destinations he could wander off to, curiosities he could sate, but those involved seeing people, and that was not what he wanted. at all.

No, for the last three weekends or so, he'd had the same routine on Sunday afternoon. He'd get up and train early, watching as his friends and compatriots vanished into their own little worlds, one at a time, until he was free.

Free to indulge his secret without any pesky prying eyes.

After training, he went back to his quarters and cleaned up. Throwing on the comfiest t-shirt he had, a loose pair of basketball shorts, and his slides, he tied up his hair before gathering his supplies to head downstairs to complete his mission.

So the communal floor had the largest, most decked out kitchen. State of the art, and built to accommodate feeding an army, or maybe eight average humans, two super soldiers, a shapeshifter or two, and the occasional gods or Hulk.

It was in this kitchen, he indulged one of his newest hobbies: youtube cooking.

So many recipes and different kinds of food that were available now that hadn't been when he'd been coming up with Steve, and he wanted to experience it all.

Ideally, he'd love to cook for you, but he was self-aware enough to know he wasn't anywhere close to doing that yet.

The most important part to him, at least right now, was that he got to make it himself.

It was a little thing, but just having the chance to do something that required precision and focus, that created something instead of destroyed it, brought his soul a good bit of joy, so he went with it.

Setting up his ingredients on the counter and the video on his phone, he went to work, stopping halfway through the dry ingredients to ask a favor of Jarvis.

"The usual, Sergeant?"

"If you would, please."

"Of course."

The music from your 'Yacht Rock' playlist flowed from the invisible speakers around the room as he carried on with his culinary endeavors. Mellow and gentle, it wasn't something he would have normally gravitated towards, but he'd heard it enough times that it had really grown on him. The music, and the loving sentiments it expressed, were all intrinsically tied to his feelings for you.

It was one of the (many, many) things that he enjoyed about your friendship. From the moment you'd been introduced to the team, he'd enjoyed your company. You were just a joy to spend time with. You were shy, in a lot of the same ways he was, so while everyone else could be out being extroverted, you were the two hanging back and observing. And the best part was that you could do it together.

Truthfully, you two did a lot of things together, late nights watching movies neither of you had seen, reading books, and just catching up on life in this century at his pace. Spending time with you was as easy as breathing. You made it easy.

He sighed happily as he thought about it. You made everything easy for him.

That he'd been crushing on you forever wasn't exactly a secret, regardless of how much he would have preferred it was. Stevie knew, and of course Sam and Tasha had figured it out with no prompting. Wanda, of course.

At this point, it seemed like the only person who missed his terminal case of heart-eyes where you were concerned was, well, you.

Which wasn't so bad, really, he mused as he pulled the snickerdoodle cupcakes he'd made from the oven and set them on the rack to cool. He knew he wasn't ready to take that leap and tell you anyway.

He was mixing up the frosting when one of his personal favorites came on. It was one of those little synchronicities in life where the lyrics to the song exactly encapsulated where he was emotionally.

So that was how you found him, singing into a pastry bag, belting out the chorus to Arthur's Theme. Wisps of hair were escaping the confines of his ponytail, he had flour on his cheek and swiped across his shirt, and your heart had never felt fuller.

Sometimes the best that you can do is, in fact, fall in love.

A/N: Okay, so this was a shameless little drabble that I've had in my head forever. I have this vision of Bucky baking and belting out Air Supply songs at top volume and it just brings me fucking life.

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ladylooch · 11 months

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Omgg bless your heart. Okok I literally don’t know if I want something where Woody has to physically defend his girlfriend orrr if we do something like a slow/lazy rainy Sunday where the reader and woody are at home watching movies together or the reader is reading a book and it’s just full of fluff or they could be cooking like pasta and have some slow jazz music playing in the background, the vibe could still be the slow rainy Sunday. Idk I’ll let you decide, my heart is so broken I can’t think straight 😭

Days Like This with Miles Wood

A/N: Here @ Lady Looch, I like to provide, so I’m gonna do both for ya 😘 Especially in these dire times where our Miles is now on the Avs. How will we live without him?!

Also, I want Miles Wood to punch someone in the face for me.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: smutty themes but not actual smut, fighting, swearing, drinking, most of this is so fluffy you might get butterflies in your stomach.

It’s a wild Saturday out in Hoboken. You and your boyfriend, Miles, are out at a bumping bar in the early morning hours. You have no idea how you’re still awake considering you worked long, overtime hours this week. You wanted to go home after the Devils win, but literally every single player and their S.O. was heading to the bar. You didn’t feel like you could bail.

You’re glad you came out though. The scene is fun and light. The boys are letting loose and Miles can barely keep his hands off you long enough to take a pull from his beer. His hands stroke the skin under the hem of your shirt, above the waistband of your jeans.

“I’m going to get a drink.” You say close to his ear. Your lips brush against his lobe teasingly. He turns his face to press your mouths together. A coy smile pushes your lips up, making it hard to stay connected. His hand drifts lower and lower, giving your butt a discreet squeeze that makes you hot. “Are you good?”

“I’m incredible in bed. Thanks for asking. ” He retorts.

“Well, that I know. I meant your beer.”

“Nah, I’m good. Bratter just got me one.”

“Okay.” You press a final, quick peck to his cheek,

As you walk, you can feel your body buzzing from both the alcohol and Miles. You can barely wait to get him home with how grabby he is tonight. You maneuver your way around a large group of guys who are so loud it makes your eye twitch.

All of a sudden, one of them grabs you. He forces your momentum back like he is going to dip kiss you. His hand grips your wrist as he forces your momentum back towards the floor. You can feel your skin throbbing under his grasp.

“Dude what the fuck!” You shout, shoving at his face until he brings you back up. He releases you, laughing with the rest of his buddies like it’s such a funny joke.

“I need a smooch to complete my initiation bingo card! Please! You’re so hot!”

“No.” You scowl at him.

“Damn, I’ve always wanted to fuck a WAG tho.” The way he looks at you sends a chill down your spine.

“You picked the wrong WAG to fuck with, bud.” Miles fist comes out of nowhere, straight into the guys face. His nose cracks open from the solid punch. Miles immediately reaches down for the guy's polo shirt, bringing him up to his face by his collar. “I should fucking kill you for touching her.”

“Babe.” Your voice is small, but Miles lets him go when he hears it.

“Your brothers here should teach you how to be a real man.”

Miles turns to you, cupping your cheeks, “are you okay?” You nod, gripping his wrists tightly for reassurance of his presence.

“I’m pressing charges.” The guy wails when he gets to his feet. “You’re going to hear from my dad’s lawyer.” Miles lets you go to turn back to the punk.

“Go ahead you fucking prick. You assaulted my girlfriend first. I’ve got 50 witnesses here who will back me up.” The bar cheers loudly in solidarity with Miles. He stays standing between you and the group until he is sure they have all left the bar, escorted by security. Miles’ arms are around your body, enveloping you in his warmth. You feel relief course through your veins at his touch. Everything is okay now. Miles will keep you safe.

“Are you okay?” He asks again, chest heaving with adrenaline.

“Yeah.” Your voice is shaky as you tuck your hair behind your ears.

“We should go home.”

“No, I’m not going to let that guy ruin our night.”

“Stay close. Don’t go anywhere without me.” You nod that you won’t. “Do you still want a drink?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, let’s grab one.” Miles motions to the bartender who whips up another one that’s on the house.

You’re shaken up the rest of the night, which ends about 30 minutes later as the team begins to disperse. You and Miles take a cab back to your apartment. You get into the shower to scrub your make up off and the feeling of that guy’s hands on you.

Then you join Miles in bed where he wraps you in his arms, soothing away the ick on your skin the scalding water couldn’t.

- - -

The heat of Miles radiates up your back the next morning. He has you spooned so deep into his big body that you are crunched into the mattress, barely able to breathe. You wheeze in a breath, wiggling until his grip on you loosens a smidge.

Rain patters against the window. Your bedroom is dark with the gloomy clouds hanging over the city while your body aches from last night. A headache is pulsing along your temples and your feet hurt from standing in boots for so long yesterday.

Miles’ hand on your hip begins to move, tracing quick, light circles along your bone. You reach for his forearm, trailing your nails along his exposed skin. His nose comes along the back of your neck before his lips plump in a good morning kiss against your skin.

“Wanna stay here all day with you.” He murmurs.

“Me too.” You wind your hand back to grip his curls in your hand. He moves from the back of your neck to the side, sucking your skin into his mouth. He doesn’t stop until he marks you just beneath the collar of your t-shirt.

“How are you?” You know he’s checking in again about last night.”

“I’m good. I know I’m always safe with you.”

“It took me a second too long to get to you.” His voice is harsh at himself.

“Your timing was perfect, Miles. Any second earlier and you would have taken me down with him.”

“Cannot believe he touched you. Gonna have to tattoo my hands on you or something.”

“That might be too far.”

“No.” He mumbles, squeezing you deeper into him again.

You both lay in bed for another few hours. You share kisses, dozing in and out of sleep wrapped up in each other. Miles’ hands explore your body, working you into a needy state so he can take you slow and sensually.

“I want coffee.” You mumble against his lips when you are both happy and naked.

“I can go get some. I think we are out.”

“Yes, please.”

His naked butt is in its fully beautiful glory as he struts to the closet. He pulls on fresh clothes and a hat, then comes back to you in bed, dropping a lingering kiss.

“Mmm. Today is gonna be a good day. Just me and you at home.” His nose nuzzles yours before he begrudgingly leaves for the store.

When he returns, he has much more than coffee.

“So many goodies.” You murmur as you come into the kitchen in his t-shirt and a pair of leggings. Miles looks at you like you’re walking a red carpet.

“Baby, how are you so beautiful?” He whines, tucking you into his side.

“Oh my god, stop.”

“No I’m serious. How are you real? How do I get to keep you?”

“Because you buy me things… and punch little shits in the face for me.” Miles’ explosive laugh fills the kitchen.

“Can’t wait to hear from his daddy’s lawyer.”

“Show me what you got.” You say changing the subject back to lighter topics.

“Okay. So much. I got the tea you like.” He shakes the box at you. “I got orange juice and sparkling wine for mimosas. We have a box of cake mix and frosting. Honestly, I really just want to lick frosting off your body though, so we don’t even have to make the cake.” You snort, laughing into his side. “And I got all the ingredients to make you a special dinner we used to have growing up.” You take in the remaining ingredients.

“Chicken soup?”

“Close. Chicken Pot Pie.”

“Wow!” You give him a squeeze. “You’re going all Chef Woody for me today.”

“Mhm, my baby deserves all the comforts today. Lazy Sunday commence!” He yells as he pops the cork off the sparkling wine bottle.

“Wait, babe, where is the coffee?”

“Son of a bitch.”

- - -

The steaming pile of food on your fork is deceivingly bland looking. You hold it up to your lips, blowing it as Miles waits impatiently. He is a great cook, but it’s hard for him to have enough time to make dishes he wants to during the season. Quick, 30 minute meals are too simple and boring for his skillset.

You bring the bite between your lips, then chew slowly. Your eyes close and Miles starts chuckling.

“I love when I can get your eyes to close. Is it good?” He leans forward, surprising you with his lips on yours.

“It’s amazing, baby. Thank you so much.” You kiss him again. “Wow. He’s hot.. he plays hockey.. he can cook. Where are your flaws?”

“I’m hiding them from you.”

“In the closet? Is it like all your nail clippings?” You shudder.

“Ah, I was thinking more like I don’t actually know how to clean a bathroom…”

“I already knew that.” You chuckle, taking another bite of your dinner. It’s somehow better than the first. “And as long as you keep cooking like this, I’m fine with that.”

After dinner, you both work together in the kitchen, listening to music and cleaning up. You tried to clean up yourself because he spent so much time shopping, preparing and cooking, but he wouldn’t let you do it alone.

“Come here.” He murmurs suddenly as Love You Anyway by Luke Combs comes through your bluetooth speaker. “Wanna dance with you.”

You step into his embrace, curling your head to rest against this jaw. One hand grips his and the other spread across his wide shoulders. He’s so muscular this year and you have to spread your fingers wide to touch as much of him as possible.

“I love you.” He whispers. “I’m so happy. Today has been so good.”

You nod in agreement. It’s one of those days you’ll look back on after a rough day and it will bring you home to each other.

The song ends, but you and Miles keep dancing in the kitchen for another few minutes, not wanting to let the other go.

“I’ve got the rest of this.” He finally says against your lips. “Go get a bath ready for us.”

You oblige. You work meticulously to get the bath to the right temperature with the perfect amount of bubbles. You turn the towel warmer on, gather all the candles you can into the room and strategically place them for a romanic glow. The speaker plays soft, country love songs.

“Hey, wanna do a face mask?” He asks when he comes in, pulling his shirt off his body. You pause him there, leaning forward to take a nibble on his pec.

“Yes.” You finally answer, rummaging through the different options you have. You’re giddy because he never lets you do this to him even when you beg. For him to offer is so exciting! It’s been a dry winter, so you grab a hydrating one for you both. Miles makes funny faces at you as you brush it on him while sitting on his lap over the closed toilet. He’s too tall to not be sitting during this application. His fingers tease along your calves making it hard to focus.

“Gonna poke you in the eye if you go any higher.” You murmur when his hands get to your mid thigh.

“Worth it.” He grins, eyes closed as you apply the mask to his nose.

You both get into the bath, Miles holds you close against his body, stroking at your hips under the water. His eyes are closed as he hums along to Thank God by Kane and Katelyn Brown. You bring your hands to his, lacing your fingers together and sighing contently.

“I needed this.” Miles murmurs. “I’ve been missing you so much on the road.”

“Me too, babe. This year feels like you’re always gone.”

“I know. I hate it.” He sighs, bringing your interlaced hands to your breasts. He grips them tight making you wiggle against him. His thumbs brush across the stiff beaks of your nipples and you moan. “Miss your pretty noises.”

The timer for the face masks goes off, halting anything further. You grab the washcloth on the side of the tub, taking your mask off, then helping Miles with his.

“Perfect.” You murmur to him, kissing his full lips so he can open his eyes.

“It’s tingly.” He says against your mouth.

“Yeah, it’s meant to be.”

“Like us.” He nips at your bottom lip. You know what he wants next.

“You gonna keep playing with your dessert or you going to fuck me in our bed?” You ask against his mouth.

Miles smiles.

He doesn’t waste any time lifting your dripping body out of the bath tub, ready to cap off your great day with you sighing his name.

#Miles Wood blurb #Miles Wood x Reader #Miles Wood Fan Fiction #My writing #hockey writing #NHL fan fiction #writing request #Not tagging the Avs because we don't need that negativity right now

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