#for context i needed a 6 to do psychology | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catboybiologist · 2 months

Note

“As a biologist, the terms biological woman and man don’t make any sense to me” okay then you’re an idiot and a terrible biologist. I swear to god, morons like you only become biologists just so you can hold it over others, when in reality, if biology deniers like you can become biologists, then being one really doesn’t mean much anyway. But this probably just gave an autogynophile like you a boner to read, anyway.

Oh fun! Haven't gotten one of these in a while. Disregarding the fact that you somehow think the qualification for being a biologist entirely hinges on defining womanhood, I do need to ask some clarification. I know I'm feeding the trolls here, but here we go: does your definition of "biological woman" mean:

Sociological woman? Eh, context dependent, I'm not fully out of the closet, but oftentimes, I am and present femme. So let's call that one 50/50.

Psychological woman? Because I am one.

Neurological woman? Because I am one [1].

Physical woman? My soft tissue redistribution is handling that well.

Hormonal woman? My blood tests are within cis female ranges.

Transcriptional woman? As a signalling molecule, the downstream effects of estrogen have broad transcriptional effects, completely changing the profile of gene expression and functional genomics of my cells. [2]

Genetic woman? I mean, see my above point- as far as my genes that are actually active, I have all of the same transcripts being produced, controlling which genes are expressed.

Karyotypic woman? I actually have a few signs pre-HRT that might point to a non-XY chromosome pair, but I haven't had a karyotype. We'll put that down as unknown. And hell, even if its XY, there's plenty of cis women who are karyotypically XY, with suppressed sry or complete androgen insensitivity. Interestingly enough, a completely androgen insesitive woman can go her whole life without knowing- and functionally, is very similar to a trans woman, actually. Fancy that. [3]

Reproductive woman? I can't produce an egg cell, but neither can significant fractions of cis women. Also, this is all gonna change soon, which is fun. [4]

There's also a lot of understudied aspects to the biology of HRT and even pre-HRT that are emerging, largely demonstrating widespread cellular and genetic remodeling of trans individuals undergoing hormone therapy. The field is a bit behind due to constant political pressure to revoke funding, but a lot of the results are extremely exciting in both testosterone and estrogen hormone therapies. I'm sure that, as a self professed biology As someone who presumably has a lot of expertise in biology, I'm assuming that you're aware of all of this cutting edge research, and are keeping up with modern papers, including but not limited to these cool findings:

Trans men on HRT exhibit significant genetic and transcriptional changes that make them biochemically male. [5][6]. It's a good hypothesis that the same happens with estrogen treatment, but those studies don't exist yet- I'm sure you're reserving judgment until more publications exist, of course.

Trans men on HRT develop male cell types and tissues. [7]

Trans women experience muscular and blood cell changes that align with cis women moreso than cis men [8]

And many, many more! This is an exciting, underserved, and groundbreaking field of research, and I'm sure you're keeping up with the latest in scientific journals about it.

I'm sure, of course, that you understand that it becomes impossible to draw a distinct line anywhere in here, and that words like "woman" are shorthand for the myriad of traits that invisibly synthesize in our mind and in society to represent a concept? I'm sure you understand that science is fundamentally descriptive, not prescriptive? I'm sure that you understand that these findings, while really cool and interesting, actually don't mean jack shit about what the word "woman" means or not?

As someone who is the ultimate decider in what a biologist is, I'm sure you know that bioessentiallism is a childish mindset that completely ignores and disregards the constantly changing, dynamic nature of biological systems, something that extends well beyond biological sex and its relation to gender.

I'm sure that also, that you understand that beyond just this, that the role of science in society is to advise how to achieve our moral principles, not create moral principles in themselves. And I'm sure that understanding means you know that trans affirming healthcare and supportive societal treatment leads to reduced mortality and increased happiness for everyone, right?

So great to talk to someone who is surely a scientist on this. You are a biologist, if you're talking like this, I assume? I assume you're not going to spit complete misreadings of scientific language from the background sections of these papers that only reveal you've never read a scientific paper in your life if you're thinking this way? I assume you have experience interpreting data like this?

Also, imagining my genitalia while writing this? Ew. Please stop projecting your fetishes into my inbox.

Works cited:

Kurth F, Gaser C, Sánchez FJ, Luders E. Brain Sex in Transgender Women Is Shifted towards Gender Identity. J Clin Med. 2022 Mar 13;11(6):1582. doi: 10.3390/jcm11061582. PMID: 35329908; PMCID: PMC8955456.

Fuentes N, Silveyra P. Estrogen receptor signaling mechanisms. Adv Protein Chem Struct Biol. 2019;116:135-170. doi: 10.1016/bs.apcsb.2019.01.001. Epub 2019 Feb 4. PMID: 31036290; PMCID: PMC6533072.

Gottlieb B, Trifiro MA. Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. 1999 Mar 24 [Updated 2017 May 11]. In: Adam MP, Feldman J, Mirzaa GM, et al., editors. GeneReviews® [Internet]. Seattle (WA): University of Washington, Seattle; 1993-2024. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK1429/

Murakami, K., Hamazaki, N., Hamada, N. et al. Generation of functional oocytes from male mice in vitro. Nature 615, 900–906 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-023-05834-x

Pallotti F, Senofonte G, Konstantinidou F, Di Chiano S, Faja F, Rizzo F, Cargnelutti F, Krausz C, Paoli D, Lenzi A, Stuppia L, Gatta V, Lombardo F. Epigenetic Effects of Gender-Affirming Hormone Treatment: A Pilot Study of the ESR2 Promoter's Methylation in AFAB People. Biomedicines. 2022 Feb 16;10(2):459. doi: 10.3390/biomedicines10020459. PMID: 35203670; PMCID: PMC8962414.

Florian Raths, Mehran Karimzadeh, Nathan Ing, Andrew Martinez, Yoona Yang, Ying Qu, Tian-Yu Lee, Brianna Mulligan, Suzanne Devkota, Wayne T. Tilley, Theresa E. Hickey, Bo Wang, Armando E. Giuliano, Shikha Bose, Hani Goodarzi, Edward C. Ray, Xiaojiang Cui, Simon R.V. Knott, The molecular consequences of androgen activity in the human breast, Cell Genomics, Volume 3, Issue 3, 2023, 100272, ISSN 2666-979X, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.xgen.2023.100272. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666979X23000320)

Xu R, Diamond DA, Borer JG, Estrada C, Yu R, Anderson WJ, Vargas SO. Prostatic metaplasia of the vagina in transmasculine individuals. World J Urol. 2022 Mar;40(3):849-855. doi: 10.1007/s00345-021-03907-y. Epub 2022 Jan 16. PMID: 35034167.

Harper J, O'Donnell E, Sorouri Khorashad B, McDermott H, Witcomb GL. How does hormone transition in transgender women change body composition, muscle strength and haemoglobin? Systematic review with a focus on the implications for sport participation. Br J Sports Med. 2021 Aug;55(15):865-872. doi: 10.1136/bjsports-2020-103106. Epub 2021 Mar 1. PMID: 33648944; PMCID: PMC8311086.

#cw transphobia #biology #basic biology

7K notes · View notes

starry-bi-sky · 16 days

Text

Danyal Al Ghul: Incorrect Quotes and Miscellaneous Thoughts

Incorrect quotes-style snippets specifically for my danyal al ghul au here (which i really need to come up with a unique au name for atp). Because I thought it'd be funny. And also some miscellaneous headcanons thrown into the mix. Some context for the au: - Danyal is 5 years older than Damian (so 10 and 15) - Danny faked his death when he was 10. Talia knows and helped him with it. - Jazz, Sam, and Tucker do not know he's an ex-assassin.

-------- Snippet 1

Danny, dryly tapping his temple: I have, as the Americans say, irreparable psychological damage, right here.

Jazz, an older sibling first and foremost: well, it's good that you're self-aware.

-------- Snippet 2

Danny, aged 10, in the American foster planning to just age out of the system: *emanating Bad Vibes. Pure, Little Orphan Tom Riddle Energy*

Jazz, aged 12, coming in to adopt a new sibling with her parents: Him. This is my brother now :)

Danny: ...what

--------

Lilo and Stitch is Danny's favorite Disney movie. He watched it when he was 11 with Jazz when she was attempting to connect with him, and by this point Danny was becoming receptive to her efforts. They had a movie marathon in the living room one night.

Safe to say? It resonated with his little 11 year old heart strongly, and he related very strongly with both Nani and Stitch. He got unexpectedly emotional and hid in his room for the rest of the night. Jazz felt really bad, but it had the intended (but kinda unexpected) effect of him trying to be nicer to her afterwards.

-------- Snippet 3

Dash, aged 12, causing trouble again and getting intercepted by Danny: *scaling up a desk* AHHHHH! GET YOUR LITTLE FREAK, FOLEY!

Tucker: Hey! Danny is not a freak!

Dash: GET HIM TO BACK OFF

Tucker, was the kid Dash was messing with: ....whats in it for me

-------- Snippet 4

Danny, saying some questionably immoral shit: What. Why are you looking at me like that.

Tucker: Bro. I mean this as kindly as possible; what the fuck?

Sam: yeah, I'm with Tuck on this one.

-------- Snippet 5

Danny, ranting about Vlad: if it weren't for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered him

Sam, painting his nails black: I'm pretty sure you'd slaughter him regardless of the laws of the land -- and quit moving, you're gonna mess me up.

Tucker: we've literally seen you debate yourself about this, Dan

Danny: ...you are correct, but it is the principle of things.

-------- Snippet 6

Vlad: I have experience my child, and the money and power attained through using those powers for personal gain, you say. I could train you, teach you everything I know! And all you have to do is renounce that idiot adoptive father of yours.

Danny, was already contemplating committing a Violence: ....

Danny, internally: I'm going to stab him *turns into Phantom*

--------

Funny contrast I realized between Danyal and Vlad that iirc I haven't pointed out yet is that imo, Danyal doesn't rely on his powers nearly half as much as canon Danny does. He falls back instinctually on his League training, and thus sometimes forgets to use his powers in battle. This was prevalent especially early on when he was still getting used to the whole 'halfa' thing.

He incorporates them more often after a year, but still for the most part relies on his own physical hand-to-hand combat. He trusts those skills much more than he does his powers. I'm not sure where he is on a technical level compared to canon, but just to stay safe I'll say he's similar in power skill as canon Danny. Perhaps a little more finessed than him because his League training would probably have him trying to figure out his powers as soon as possible.

But in summary? Danny is strong in hand-to-hand combat, weak in powerset.

Meanwhile Vlad is the opposite. I can't recall if he even knows hand-to-hand in canon, but it makes total sense to me that Vlad Masters wouldn't because he's so confident in his monetary influence and ghost abilities that he sees no need for it.

And he's kinda got some merit behind it. He's very powerful and has 20 years of experience to experiment and fine tune his powers. He's got bite to follow up his bark. He's perfected long-range combat and his ability to phase through walls makes it impossible to corner him, but if you can manage it, then one good hit could probably knock him on his ass.

So in summary, Vlad is strong in powerset, weak in hand-to-hand combat.

And it casts a good contrast between the two of them in that regard. Danny, as a fellow halfa, can follow Vlad when he phases through walls and is fast enough to land a hit on him. His league training as an assassin, albeit rusty, is still deep ingrained enough in him that he can hold up as a rather veritable threat against Vlad without needing his powers.

But Vlad can force Danny to use his powers more often through use of his own. The duplication is the first thing to come to mind: Danny's fast enough to dispel them on his own without powers, and smart enough that he could figure out who the real one is if given a few minute. But that's not always efficient enough.

Good foils for each other that way. Also Vlad's Plasmius design mimics Ra's juuust enough that he looks like Ra's knockoff loser second cousin no one talks about, which only fuels Danny's hatred.

-------- Snippet 7

Danny, ranting about Vlad for the first time: --and it's only made worse by the fact that the little ingrate resembles a cheap knock-off of my grandfather!--

Sam, choking on her water: he what--

Tucker, doing a spittake: HE DOES?

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #danyal al ghul au #i have a doodle of that little scene with vlad actually. its in my notebook lmao.#danny gets *furiously* shakespearan when he's insulting someone. sam and tucker have recorded some of his rants #and they are just pure gold.#sam and tucker calling danny 'dan' as a nickname 2024.#which reminds me about how TUE would even happen. someone in my ao3 comments made a good point about how they weren't sure if my danyal #would even have a TUE occur because he's not the cheating type. i've seen clips of how he got his hands on the test answers but i'll need t #watch the episode to gauge if Dan is even feasible. and if he is what changes to make him happen. hmmm. much to think about #don't think danyal would stay with vlad even in the midst of his grief. hmhmhm #dpdc

447 notes · View notes

tallerthantale · 3 months

Text

What Does Aziraphale Actually Believe, Part 6: Philosophy Time

This is a series of my takes on what Aziraphale believes through the timeline of the show. It is all my personal interpretation, and I am happy to hear others. You don’t need to read them all in order, but know that I am coming from a perspective on Aziraphale’s machinations that can be difficult for people without a psychology background to follow without the first two as a primer. The quick version is that Aziraphale has a set of beliefs that exist in some form or another within his mind. However, at any given moment, only some of them exist ‘with awareness’ or as I am putting it here, conscious!Aziraphale only has access to the beliefs that the rest of his mind, veil!Aziraphale, allows him to know about. The context of the moment will determine what lives on the surface and what stays buried behind the veil, whatever arrangement best prevents a threat to Aziraphale’s sense of self and makes whatever he is inclined to do feel right.

This post finishes the minisode and flashback content, starting from 1800's Edinburgh through to the 1960's bit. There is a lot of attention given to how Aziraphale conceptualises good and evil, and the roles of angels, demons, and humans within the divine system. About 3k words.

A Spot of Body Snatch

Some juicy bits of philosophy show up in the Edinburgh flashback. While Aziraphale has been able to disagree with the archangels, or think that they are misguided about God’s will, the general moral esthetics of what heaven is supposed to represent have largely been left intact. The idea is you put a bunch of people out in the world, you see who does the good things and who does the bad things, and you reward and punish accordingly. Aziraphale still believes that is a component of the ineffable plan, and advocates for some version of it in the modern era. At this point he thinks that it’s all going rather well, and you can easily sort the good and bad humans apart. He doesn’t look too closely, because that’s not going to help preserve his sense of self. He has been on the earth for over 5800 years at this point. His ignorance to the disadvantages of the poor is willful. See end note.

At the start of the adventure, Aziraphale believes body snatching is wicked. It is a morally bad thing to do, people who do it are morally bad. People who finance it are morally bad. This is an intuitive judgement, it feels wrong. As is commonly the case with intuitive judgements, it gets messy on the application, the devil's in the details. When he miracles the freshly dug up body into a skeleton, why does that feel right? Ostensibly the wickedness of the body snatching is the desecration of the dead. By turning the body into skeleton soup, Aziraphale has personally desecrated the dead. You could make the argument that it was a necessary evil in the name of a greater good, but Aziraphale doesn't make that argument, he claims that what he did was directly a morally good act. Why? Because it felt good to him to do it. He was sticking it to the morally bad people by making their life harder. Sometimes Aziraphale is a petty bitch like that.

When he learns that the body snatching operation functions to alleviate human suffering, his feelings change first, then his judgement changes. After the talk with the surgeon, holding the tumour in a jar, participating in the body snatching feels like helping to relieve human suffering, therefore his involvement in it is in alignment with the ineffable plan, therefore let's go do it. It is worth noting that for all Aziraphale emphasises forgiveness in his interactions with Crowley, he doesn’t ask for it here. There are many factors involved in that, and @takeme-totheworld has some very relevant things to say on the way Aziraphale engages with forgiveness from ex-Christian perspective.

I think one of the other factors involved is that Aziraphale is pretty normalised to reshuffling his beliefs to feel better about himself, and a feature of that normalisation is not fully taking accountability when you shuffle a disavowed belief out. Veil!Aziraphale allows just enough awareness for conscious!Aziraphale to express that his previous belief was incorrect, and then it’s yeeted like that belief never existed. Accountability, apologising, asking forgiveness, all of that would require conscious!Aziraphale to retain awareness of the offending prior belief and prior action. Believing he did a bad thing before breaks his ability to believe that as an angel he is incapable of doing bad things. He doesn't need to believe the absolutist stuff all the time, but it can't coexist in conscious awareness with the knowledge that he has been wrong. It is a known problem with shame responses, they sometimes motivate us to eliminate our awareness of our actions rather than motivate us to make amends.

When Wee Morag is mortally wounded, Aziraphale decides he is going to break heaven's rules, and asserts that the thing he will do, which isn't allowed by heaven, is the right thing to do. Since Uz Aziraphale has been able to believe that the policy of the institution of heaven is wrong and has been willing to go against it. He can shuffle that belief in when needed, and then shuffle it back out to go back to his day to day believing in heaven most of the time. His inclination to break the rules to save Wee Morag is in keeping with that shuffling ability, but we can observe that he slips into it a lot more comfortably than he used to, though not as comfortably as we might like, and not fast enough to save her.

People Get a Choice

What stands out in this era is his continued attachment, just previously in the minisode, to the idea that angel = good and demon = evil. For all he is willing to believe heaven is wrong, he will not let go of categorising the angels as ‘good,’ even into the modern era. It is deeply tied to his internal understanding of his personal relationship to God as an angel, and therefore his sense of self. He knows the other angels would deliberately let Wee Morag die. But the other angels are still angels, and therefore ‘good.’ Crowley, who is working to alleviate human suffering, is ‘evil’ so long as he remains a demon.

The exact phrasing is: "I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice." As for Crowley being evil, yes, Aziraphale thinks Crowley is nice. Yes, he thinks Crowley is a good person. Yes, he 100% loves Crowley as he is. But Crowley’s existence is conceptually evil in the abstract through no fault of his choices. Humans can choose. Crowley can't. Aziraphale’s attachment to this point drives most of the serious conflict between them. The worst things Aziraphale says to Crowley are on this theme. So why is he so defensive of it 5800 years in? What is this position doing for him? What does believing this save him from believing instead?

What Aziraphale is protecting himself from is the existential crisis of the pointlessness of it all. He is keeping himself from believing that the entire set up of the sides of good and evil, and humanity having the choice between good and evil, is all a sham. He is protecting himself from believing that he has no side. That there cannot ever be an idealised heaven that represents good. It isn’t just unachievable, it is incoherent. That his behaviour isn’t about furthering the cause of the greater good, he’s just doing what makes himself happy and deciding that is the right thing after the fact. That his sense of what feels right is no substitute for actual ethical principles. To prevent himself from processing all that, he will believe that Crowley is ‘evil’ in the abstract.

Aziraphale's mind likes to protect itself from responsibility. "You're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing." Aziraphale grasped at straws to take that at face value from a fallen angel, but he grabbed that straw and he didn't let it go. Believing angels are inherently naturally good helps support his inclination to intuit morality. He can just let his innate angel vibes tell him what the right thing is (it’s whatever feels right to do) and he can be confident that is good, because he was an angel when he wanted to do it, and he is still an angel after having done it.

However, this is a very precarious defence for a lot of reasons. If we are working with a definition of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ that have no relationship to personality or behaviour, that’s not very reassuring. Aziraphale cant prove to himself his actions are morally good actions if his continued status as an angel is utterly unconnected to his actions. If angelic / demonic status defining celestials as good and evil is connected to actions or inclinations, how does Aziraphale parse the questionable actions of the other angels, and does he think less of Crowley? I suspect that for the most part he is generating definitions moment to moment that serve the interests of whatever else he is trying to believe at the time. Entirely abandoning the association of good/angel and evil/demon feels too much like abandoning his internal concept of God, so he won’t. Thinking Crowley is a bad person because he is a demon would be equally horrific, so he won’t do that either. He will roll through shifting definitions and avoid looking too hard at the consequences of his positions.

One option for what he can believe that I suspect has been growing stronger, is believing that God has a plan for Crowley that involves a deliberately unjust fall, to return him from later. It solves a lot of the above conflicts. He doesn’t have to consider if Crowley had a choice in becoming a demon, he doesn’t have to believe Crowley ever ‘did the wrong thing’ voluntarily while an angel, it makes it easier for him to rationalise that he is personally incapable of doing the wrong thing, it helps him rationalise his own relationship with Crowley. The only real downside is the part where Crowley would never in a million years endorse this viewpoint, and at some level Aziraphale must be aware of that because he doesn’t tend to express anything like this openly. However it very much looks to me like the missing piece that makes everything else fit. See end note.

Obviously!

Sometimes thinking Crowley's fall is part of an ineffable plan won't stop Aziraphale from being petty about Crowley's demonic status when that opinion isn't on his mind. "We may have both started out as angels, but you are fallen." It might be the rudest version of all of Aziraphale's 'holier than thou' moments, and in the context of what Crowley had likely recently been through, that was really unnecessarily mean.

Now for one of my more counter intuitive takes; Aziraphale is mean to Crowley because he puts him on a pedestal. When you believe someone is so magnificent, so perfect, so destined, you can believe nothing you do or say is capable of causing them harm. Then you can get really careless, particularly if the person you're putting on a pedestal doesn't readily show you their pain. If they are so grand, and your opinion doesn't have any value anyway, why bother considering what you say?

When asked for holy water, Aziraphale's mind goes to a suicide pill, because Aziraphale could not cope with being a demon. He’s had a lot of time to think about it now, he has come to understand that Crowley really isn’t “free to do whatever [he] want[s]” and I think he would genuinely prefer not to exist than to be in Crowley’s position. He projects his feelings about how horrible it would be for him onto Crowley, but also thinks Crowley is the stronger one, and the better one. Crowley just got back from being yanked down to hell for doing a good deed. A good deed that involved bullying Aziraphale into giving his money away, which he wouldn’t have done on his own. Crowley’s good deed for which he was likely tortured involved pressuring an angel into doing the right thing, after Aziraphale had been too slow to properly help the humans, while accurately sassing him for not understanding the impacts of poverty on humanity. It's not hard to see why Aziraphale might believe Crowley would prefer not to be a demon. There are times he makes a better angel than Aziraphale. Although to be fair, Crowley did overdo it on that hole.

Date Night

A toast ‘to shades of grey’. Aziraphale’s choice of words, Aziraphale’s choice to make it a toast. It’s an interesting pair of choices. Aziraphale has been in the middle with Crowley for thousands of years, but this is the moment he lets himself acknowledge the value of shades of grey. What does it mean, given everything Aziraphale has already done? Aziraphale had been believing everything he had done was 100% good, he just had convoluted justifications. Now his convoluted justifications only get him as far as very light grey, and he is finally starting to make his peace with that.

Does that mean he isn’t thinking of himself as 100% aligned with God? I think sometimes yes, but also sometimes no. The other option is that he doesn’t think God is 100% good anymore. Each version represents a massive shift. If we understand Aziraphale’s journey to being at peace with himself as a Daoist one, and I think there is a lot of subtext to that effect, Daoism doesn’t do absolutist good and evil. Things just… are. The divine isn’t a refined extreme. The Dao isn’t ‘good.’ It is. Full stop. I think Aziraphale will consider God less good more readily than he will consider himself misaligned with Her.

Why now? Because he realised, fully into his conscious awareness, that he was in love with a demon, as a demon. Nothing else fits the toast because nothing else changed in terms of Aziraphale’s philosophical alignment. Many flashbacks have brought us new things Aziraphale is willing to do that might distance himself from the ranks of the institution of heaven. Nothing new happened on that front in 1941. Many flashbacks have shown Aziraphale having new ways he is willing to understand the human world. Nothing new happened on that front in 1941. Something shifted in the way he understands his sense of self and his relationship to God, and one of the few things that still ties back to that is the role of angels and demons in the universe. It wasn’t what he was willing to do that broke new ideological ground, it was what he was willing to feel.

That willingness to feel broke a psychological wall for Aziraphale, and I believe with that wall down he can now think of himself and Crowley as somewhat ‘human aligned’ when it comes to certain aspects of their morality. Aziraphale talks with Crowley about the shades of grey they prefer. The way the term prefer is used here implies they have options. Options implies a choice. Choice was supposed to be for people. They may not have the ability to choose their employer, but they are both choosing to be a bit grey, and now they can say it to each other out loud. I will come back to this point in a future post.

You Go Too Fast For Me

He knows he is in love with a demon, but he still isn’t ready to act on it. He says maybe one day. I think all of him wants Crowley, but not all of him wants to want a demon. I think some of the fandom doesn’t want to process this about Aziraphale, but really think about it. If Crowley was an angel rescuing him and the books in the church, then in the 60’s offering to take him anywhere he wants to go, do you really think he would still say no? There is of course a conflation between their roles on opposite sides of celestial conflict and Crowley’s metaphysical status as a demon. It's the being on opposite sides that's the problem. I don’t think Aziraphale has any sort of disgust reaction or aversion to demonic features or demonic energy. But the metaphysical status of demon is the origin of their opposite sides situation, and Aziraphale isn’t prepared to feel like that is entirely arbitrary, even if it’s part of a bigger ineffable plan. Too fast isn’t a forever no, it’s check back later. Aziraphale knows it will ‘feel right’ down the line, and I don’t think that depends on demonic status going away, just on him needing time to process his feelings. For Aziraphale’s lifetime, 1941-1967 is the blink of an eye.

Part 6/10

End Notes

On willful ignorance: In my opinion, IRL willful ignorance mostly takes the form of a motivated lack of awareness. If a particular perspective, interpretation, relevant factor, explanation, ect… doesn’t line up with a person’s sense of self or behaviour, it stays out of awareness because the background mechanisms of the mind work to keep it out of awareness. The information they do not absorb is targeted. It isn’t random, it follows a strategy, and yet, they have no idea that they are doing it. It is… exhausting… to engage with that.

On pedestals: It has been observed that the level of misogyny in a country correlates very highly with a tendency to put women on pedestals. The more prevalent attitudes about how wonderful and perfect women are for doing all the womanly things so well predicts both a strong demand that women conform to those expectations and harsh penalties when they don't. Putting a person on a pedestal is a way to feel like you are honoring that person when you are actually threatening them.

On God having a plan for Crowley: I’ll be going into further detail as to why I think Aziraphale believes this and what it means in a future post, probably the final post. The closest we see him get to expressing this perspective to Crowley is the “May you be forgiven,” and if that is where he was going with it, that was like, the worst way he could possibly have put it. I do wonder if the 1941 apology dance could have come from Aziraphale telling Crowley he thinks God has a martyr plan for him. I think internally acknowledging that he was in love could have led to him saying it, and I think Crowley would be very valid in wanting an apology if he had. That said, I think the apology dance could also be explained by Aziraphale almost getting them caught with the magic show, and taking his time to reveal that he had swapped the photos.

While we're talking about old apology dances, I think the 1650 one probably had something to do with Anne Greene.

#good omens #good omens meta #go meta #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #what does aziraphale actually believe

34 notes · View notes

absolutebl · 1 year

Text

This Week in BL

Nov 2022 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 1 of 12 - It got hot and heavy way faster than expected. With DeanPharm the side couple, I just want more of them like I did with WinTeam in UWMA. But yeah, it’s VERY good, thank fuck. WATCH ALONG HERE.

Big Dragon (Sat Gaga) 6 of 8 - How can this dumb little pulp be so good? Also P’Nine? I will heal your broken heart. The brother zone is rough, baby. The thing about this damn drama is all of the characters are honestly motivated and act in accordance with their personalities. I think that’s mostly why I can’t stop watching. Loved the scene with Yai and his ma-in-law-to-be. Also, nice stinger! That’s one way to come out. Look this was a REALLY engaging ep.

My Only 12% (Fri iQIYI) 14fin - I really did not expect this show to end on this note. Ah Earth with the crying. I did expect the final episode to be family drama-llama, but this kind of drama didn’t work for me under the context of a BL. I do love the siblings. (There’s a part of me that wanted Prem’s character to be Team. This could work as Team’s back story.) All in all? I found it disappointing. Conclusion: This is a strong little BL romance (tailor made for SantaEarth) about holding onto first love and childhood, but it’s buried under waffling family drama and formless side characters so that it took a lot of digging to get to - still, RECOMMENDED. 8/10

Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI) 7 of 10 - Nothing continues to happen and exactly nothing will and yet I keep watching. Probably because the nothing keeps getting shirtless.

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Weds YouTube) 6 of 8 - Cute bfs are cute but... NO SINGING. Adorbs but sad GL side plot AKA dead lesbians got a nod.

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 5 of 12 - JaFirst are just great on screen together, I am very invested in their couple but, yeah, no one else. The stuff with Name was really difficult to watch, but Title is a GREAT little actor.

Love in the Air (Thurs iQIYI) 13fin - Ultimately? Sky needed a therapist not a stalker lover, but whatever Mame. DUMPSTER FIRE TRASH WATCH COMPLETED HERE. I gave it a very reluctant 7/10, recommended only if you know you like this kind of thing. Look you remember in high school drama class where they make you “envision a basket, and put all of your worry, bad mood, and anxiety into that basket, and leave it outside the door”? Well, in order to enjoy this show, you have to do that, only with your morals. Some people have bigger baskets than others.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Viki) 6 of 12 - I do like a little jealousy from the dentist. Yet another installment in this week”s “please get that uke to a therapist” only this time (unlike LITA) our seme actually gives it an honest try. I might be completely and totally in love with the dentist. I adore how stern he gets, plus he has a very strong white knight tendencies. Also baby boi wanna-bartend with the big-ass crush is giving me life.

Eternal Yesterday AKA Eien no Kino (Japan Thurs Gaga) 4 of 8 - Am I the only one who JUST realized the actor playing Koichi is Komiya Rio who played Tanaka in Takara & Amagi? I’m so slow. Look all Japanese BL (even the most fluffy nonsense like Kabe Koji) is a little bit emo and exists in a sideways state. It’s gonna go into uncomfortable and uncanny spaces. It’s what it does. This one, given its psychological horror elements, is even more uncanny, to the point of creepy. I’m not a big fan of creepy, and yet I like this show. Japanese zombie incubus? Yes please. Look, I’m utterly unable to back away from the pun, and so: I see seme stiffie can get a stiffie. Puns aside? This was a killer first-time sex scene for something relatively low heat. I’m reminded of Shin’s tongue. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, no one does thirst like Japan. Korea and Thailand can have a winsome yearn-off, and Taiwan is great a pining, but Japan? Japan brings the Thirst.

Choco Milk Shake (Korea Strongberry Tues YT) 3-4 of 10 - I love this show so much. It made me tear up and then in the second part I was laughing my ass off, because the cat was trying to teach the dog how to stare properly. So funny. Then Pets being worried about their sick human, is so accurate. Is anything funnier than the idea of a cat in a service industry job? I really don’t want this to be sad. Please don’t be sad. In Strongberry we trust is my mantra!

Kabe Koji (Japan Mon Viki) 6 of 10 - I like it more and more as it goes on, but I still don’t think I actually, ya know, like it.

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

War of Y (Thai Gaga) 20 eps - it’s just all too much for me.

My Roommate (Thai YT) 32 eps of 2 minutes each + terrible production values? - I’m not bothering.

Fahlanruk (Thai Sun GaGa) 12 eps - I cut my losses at ep 5. DNF

To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai 28 eps - dito

2 Moons 3 (Thai Mon ??) 10 eps - Possibly a future binge watch. Rumor is it’s banal.

SELF (Thai Thurs YT) - DNF

Love Bill (Vietnam Sat YT) - Bah Vinh is back but I’m too distracted. Also there’s a lot of fund raising and stuff going on. I’ll wait and binge.

In Case You Missed It

Korean GL She Makes My Heart Flutter finished it’s run on YouTube. RECOMMENDED. Full review (not by me) here. Extremely cute, about a lesbian bar run by an aunt and her niece.

I have no idea if any of these still work, but the spies reported in on ways to watch the Cherry Magic movie (2022) with Eng Subs: BiliBili | Website I liked it, not as much as the original, solid 8/10 from me. Again no kissing, these actors must be expensive. Still with Thailand bringing the high heat with such consummate casualness these days (licking ass and taking names) there really isn’t much of an excuse anymore for no kisses. Even Korea has buckled.

Gossip

Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has collectively signed up to be in idol-based BL, Bump Up Business (based on a webtoon of the same name). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad and can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You). More info here.

HIStory 5 is coming! Office BL + time travel. “A cheerful and energetic senior student from 2000 travels to the future (2022), works as a deliveryman, and meets his first customer, an heir with a domineering personality.” Nancy Chen to direct (HIStory 4, Papa & Daddy).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting up:

Nov 18: I Will Knock You (Thai Fri Gaga) A college kid & tutor confronts the leader of a gang who then turns out to be his next student. Bad boy/good boy + sunshine/grumpy, + younger seme pairing, bully romance. Adapted from korean_rabbit's y-novel of the same name, directed by Champ (2gether).

Nov 19: GAP the series (Thai Sat YT) - 12 ep office set GL. WATCH IT! GL and this studio need our support.

Nov 2022 still to come?

Nov 24: Happy Ending Romance (Korea Thurs Gaga) stars Karam (The Boss), Ha Jong Woo, and Leo (VIXX). Formerly Happy Ending Outside the Fence - thank fuck they changed the damn title.

Nov 26: 609 Bedtime Story (Thai Sat WeTV) - another OhmFluke vehicle that’s rumored to be a good story. A one night stand leads to a series of mysterious premonitions and a possible parallel universe.

Nov ??: My School President (?? GMMTV YT) tester trailer here - it’s Love Sick + Korea & Japan's influence.

This Week’s Return of the Shirt of Shame

Work From Heart wasn’t enough? You had to put it on the prettiest boy in the world? (Ghost Host, Ghost House)

This week’s best moments?

Oops indeed.

This weeks earworm: MCND #mood

(last week)

Note: I’m off to France and then Australia, as ya do, so posting may be odd and sporadic and strangely timed. Don’t get excited, it’s work, I mostly get to see the insides of hotels.

333 notes · View notes

cosmos-daughter · 1 year

Text

A detailed psychological analysis of Leon Kennedy and Aeon: explaining the agent's endless struggle with guilt and dysfunctional romance with Ada Wong.

The reason why I decided to write this is because I have seen some complaints about Leon apparently "flirting" with someone in the DI movie (not sure who or if he even does, since it's not out yet as I write this) and accusing him of being out of character because of that. I was confused of why were people suddenly acting as if Leon being flirty with women was something new, surprising or unexpected, since that's a character trait of his ever since 2004.

Then, I finally got the ✨context✨ and apparently, the reason why they are upset over this is actually because of the beautiful spy in red, Ada Wong.

It seems the cause of people's frustration is that they expected Leon's flirty behaviour with other women to be gone on the events that are set after Resident Evil 6 in the timeline, since his feelings for Ada were finally adressed in that game. And naturally, many assumed they'd be in a relationship in a recent timeline, and therefore are treating this as a case of infidelity.

Seeing that made me realize that some people, usually fans that are rather new to the franchise and joined the fandom after the remakes, don't quite understand what Leon and Ada actually have going on or what they mean to each other. It is much, much more complicated and deep than it actually seems, and I want to talk about it in detail here while also providing some canon information to prove the points I make.

CW: mentions of alcoholism, depression and suicidal ideation.

─

Leon and Ada’s dynamic is a funny little thing. Talk about an dysfunctional, unstable relationship. It is definitely not the healthiest. What they have going on is messy and complicated, sure, but that's what makes it entertaining for us, viewers, and what makes Aeon a appealing ship that many love, even if watching them can also be quite frustrating at times. They are the true meaning of star-crossed lovers -- two people who love each other but aren’t able to be together, a love that’s doomed from the start -- and that's why their relationship has always been presented and described as complicated.

Take a look at this file from Resident Evil 6:

Following their escape, their paths would cross from time to time, Leon as a U.S. government operative and Ada as a spy. Ada makes no qualms about using Leon when it suits her needs, but Leon is loath to bring himself to be done with her. They don't consider each other enemies, but it's hard to tell how they feel for each other. Complicated is the word that aptly summarizes their relationship. (Leon and Ada)

That makes two things clear: Leon has feelings for Ada, and he’s also a hopeless romantic. He knows when she’s using him, he’s not stupid, but he can’t and doesn’t want to let go of her. Anyone can see that, each time they interact you can sense Leon’s hesitancy through the screen, he always seems conflicted, wary, as if going through a dilemma of “which one is more important: love or duty?", because even if she’s the woman he loves, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s shady and has worked for the opposite side before -- for the people that produce bioweapons -- and Leon's determination to keep fighting despite of how exhausted he is comes precisely from his hatred of people who make use of bioweapons and his desire to end this for good. Loving her or not, as long as he's not sure of what her true intentions are, he can't fully trust her. He won’t risk getting innocent people hurt, after all, that’s what he fights for: to protect them. He'd do anything to stop something like Raccoon City from ever happening again. It's the only thing he has. The only part of his old self -- of the Leon that was lost after the outbreak -- that still lives is his urge to protect. Serve and protect.

Krauser: What is it that you fight for, comrade? Leon: My past, I suppose. (Optional dialogue from original RE4)

In RE6, he protects Ada from Chris and Helena when they try to kill her, but he’s not sure himself if she’s innocent or not. His uncertainty becomes even clearer during the final scene before they part ways again, when he asks her: “What are you? Why are you helping us?”. Again, he’s not sure of what she wants, whose side she’s on, why she's doing what she does, what he means to her, or anything at all. But even if confused and probably curious, he doesn’t go after her for answers when Helena tells him to. And since RE6 takes place after Damnation (both are in 2012, but the events of RE6 starts in december), I’d say that’s enough evidence that they are not in a relationship at that time, even if they got intimate at some point (also the fact that he shamelessly flirts with Helena at the beginning of the game and he would never if he was in a relationship, since loyalty is a big thing of Leon's character too).

What I make up of their relationship from the content they give us and what they’ve been hinting since their first appearance in 1998 is that they’re less than lovers, but definitely more than friends, if you could even call them that. I imagine they have that kind of relationship that sometimes, Ada shows up at Leon’s doorsteps at night after a long time of not hearing from each other and they both missed each other a lot and are also undeniably attracted to each other, so maybe they do sleep together and might even share a very romantic, vulnerable moment (that they never really speak of later) and when Leon wakes up in the morning, her side of the bed is already empty. I think they have the physical, but not emotional intimacy, and if they both know how they feel about that deep down, it doesn't matter -- neither of them have the luxury of doing feelings. They don’t belong to each other and are free to do as they please, but none of them plan on moving on from each other. It’s just two screwed up humans afraid of commitment loving each other messily.

Poetically tragic, quite Shakespeare-esque.

It's also important to mention the reason why I believe Leon accepts to be in a "relationship" like this one even if he knows it's not good for him and yearns for more (even if he doesn't admit it -- he's a big softie: emotional, romantic, loves people and company, of course he wants more than that). I'd say the reason it’s not only because he loves her -- even if that's great part of it -- but also because he doesn't think himself worthy of having a loving, stable relationship. Leon is an alcoholic who suffers from depression, traumatized, barely has any free time to rest and also happens to work in the most dangerous job in the world that could get him killed anytime. So... he's not very boyfriend material. He would most likely spent the entire time thinking the other person deserves better, deserves someone present in their life and who can give them the love and attention they deserve. And with Ada, he’s able to fulfill his emotional and physical needs without having the responsibility of having an actual relationship, and without hurting anyone's feelings, because Ada doesn’t expect more from him too. They both know they can't go there. A romantic relationship is probably something he no longer knows how to deal with, ever since his life has changed so drastically. Hell, he can barely take care of himself. So he's fine with the little that Ada gives him (or at least he pretends), he'll accept whichever parts of her she'll allows him to have. He knows that she’ll never be his, so he has to be fine with having her only for a night. It's no news that Leon Scott Kennedy is the master of self-sabotage, no one is more cruel to him than himself. After all, everything in his life is a mess, his love life would hardly be any different.

Now here comes my favorite part to talk about and the main point: Leon's insecurity regarding of being unworthy of love and peace, originates from his survivor's guilt issues -- his trauma. I always talk about how cruel and visceral Leon’s case of survivor's guilt is, because it's part the character's essence, you can't have Leon without it. That thing is tied to him. It's a stain on his soul. It will always be with him, even if he manages to heal himself one day. Since that night in Raccoon City happened, he lives with an immeasurable amount of guilt regarding every single person that he "failed" to save and protect, knowing they're gone while he’s still alive and breathing is too much for him and that results in a worrisome self-destructive behaviour where he thinks he doesn’t deserve to be happy or a normal life, a break from the horrors. No, he needs to live the rest of his life miserably, fighting incessantly against bioweapons until his last breath, because this is the very least he can do to ‘make amends’ to everyone he ‘failed’ to save. He holds into his failure like it's a hand. A workaholic fueled by guilt and grief.

(EDIT: Leon's voice actor, Matthew Mercer, pretty much confirmed this by saying that Leon holds himself accountable for every death that happens on his watch even if it's out of his control in a interview for the Death Island movie. I'm aware he's the voice actor and not the writer, but he understands his character perfectly, so I find that worthy of mentioning).

Then we have Resident Evil: Damnation only further proving his crystal clear guilt issues. When Leon stops Alexander from shooting himself, these are his words to the man:

“The option of taking our own lives no longer belongs to us. Once we start using these, we owe it to the people who died alongside us, we have to continue living.”

This whole interaction, Leon stopping a man from killing himself and his words hits different when you remember that in the original RE2 Leon actually considered doing the same, and the only reason he didn’t was because to protect Sherry and make sure she was safe (this part doesn’t make too much sense in the remake since Leon doesn’t meet her until the last minutes of the game, but we’re referring to the original events here). The reason why Leon accepted to work for the government was also to ensure they would keep Sherry safe, allow her to live a normal life and not experiment on her (a promise they clearly did not keep but anyway...), even if we all know he didn't have a choice. He still did it all of that for a girl he barely knew. Self sacrifice is a vice of his just as much as alcohol.

"To tell you the truth, I even thought about ending it -- several times, actually -- with just a quick bullet to the head. But I didn't give up. Sherry needed me. She was a 10-year-old girl thrown into a hellish environment with monsters after her, so I had to pull myself together for her sake. She was our reason for not giving up - especially for Claire.” (Leon and the Raccon City Incident)

He feels obligated to continue this loop of constantly sacrificing his own mental health and safety in this miserable and dangerous life of fighting against bioweapons for that is what he owes to his fallen comrades and innocent victims of bioterrorism. Consequently, he also gives away his chances of having a normal relationship, living like a normal person and also the possibility of having a family in the future. He’s seen drinking a lot in Damnation -- including during the day, alone in his room, I think that’s pretty self explanatory.

Then we have Vendetta -- the peak of Leon's depression -- where we watch as he drowns himself in alcohol even more during a mental breakdown after losing his whole team being the only survivor, again. More people dead at his commands, following his words, more people dead because he can't be the super-hero he wishes he was, all that while he still breathes and gets to see another day. Leon doesn't have a lot of stability in his life, he's loses people important to him all the time, yet he does not get any used to it.

He questions if living is really worth it in the movie:

“I keep fighting... and fighting and fighting, and instead of seeing an end to this shit, it just keep getting worse. Is this what my life is supposed to be? Fighting the living dead and bastards that make them? What's the point of it all?”

He’s clearly reached his limit and is beyond exhausted, he knows it’s not fair to him and he shouldn’t have to live like this, he’s desperate for a little bit of normalcy, yet he still goes back to fight. He can't run away from duty, and he sure as hell can’t turn a blind eye to bioterrorism, no matter how tired he is. Vendetta is set after RE6, so it’s clear that his relationship hasn’t evolved since then, and it seems that it's been a while since they last saw each other, maybe even years, and maybe that also adds on the reasons why Leon snapped, since Ada is the closest to a constant he's had in his life, the only thing he can always count to come back to him, even if he doesn't knows when.

It’s not hard to believe a man like that would avoid a serious relationship at any costs. But doing that is not easy for him, after all, Leon is very emotional and so fucking lonely and touch-starved, he wants the love, even if he doesn’t think he deserves it. While I have no canon evidence about this, I can see him being the type who gets one-night stands once in a while when he’s feeling too alone and in need for a distraction and relief, I imagine that he feels a little needed and loved when he’s touching and being touched by another person, even if it’s only for the night. But he refuses to emotionally connect with the person, because his heart belongs to another and because he doesn't want to risk anyone falling for him; because something else we know about him is that he has emotional responsability and maturity, he thinks of people's feelings, considers them, and takes it very seriously.

I see Leon’s womanizer behaviour as a coping mechanism for his loneliness and his own way to lighten the mood and make those women not panic during the situation of absolute chaos and danger they're usually in with him. It's also simply because he likes women, of course, I'm not denying that, but his flirting never bothered me because of how respectful he is -- he never takes it too far or make them uncomfortable by being innapropriate (I mean, there's a reason why all the women he flirts with like Helena and Hunnigan adore him, even if not in that way, they all like him a lot as a friend). And we can tell he's not planning on making them fall in love with him by the way he only flirts hardcore with the strong-type of women whom he knows won't fall for him easily like that, and with the softer-type who might actually have a crush on him (like Ashley or Manuela) he's much more careful, mostly friendly -- ocasionally teasing and a little light flirting too, of course, but that's just his way of being playful and nice. Leon is a very charismatic and charmful man by nature, what can he do about it?

So, considering all of this, we can see why having a relationship is not on Leon's to-do-list. No person in their right mind would subject themselves to be in a relationship in which your partner is completely secretive about their work life and having to live with the anxiety of going to sleep at night not knowing if he’s still alive when he leaves for his missions; people want a relationship for security, stability, reassurance, comfort and peace, not to be tormented. And with Ada, he doesn’t need to worry about any of that. She isn’t going to ask him questions about his work nor is she going to stay up at night worrying if he’s going to come back home, because they don’t have that kind of relationship. And it's not that Leon would hate having that kind of relationship -- especially with her -- it's the opposite. He secretly craves it. I think there's nothing he'd love more than laying with the person he loves on his arms at the end of a long day, and seeing their face lit by the sunlight in the morning, or simply doing the typical clingy couple things, the casual affection; but he has a job to do and he knows he can't have both.

I don’t agree with the usage of the word ‘toxic’ to define his relationship with Ada, because that makes her seem like a horrible person when it’s not the case; none of them is forcing the other into this relationship, they both just fall in with it because they know that this is the closest to a romantic relationship that people like them can afford to have. And because this relationship isn't entirely bad for them, we don't know much about Ada, unfortunately, but we know enough about Leon to have a guess that what he has with her is enough to provide him at least a little bit of comfort, and God knows he needs it.

Even if we don't have enough content of her, her feelings, traumas and motivations to write a fully detailed essay, we know that even if she doesn't show it like he does, she loves Leon too. The difference is that she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve like he does. And yes -- she uses him to reach her own goals during her missions, always plays little games with him, but I believe the latter is part of a façade (I'll get into this later), and she never did anything to hurt him or put him in danger. She’s a focused, calculative woman who will play dirty to get what she wants, yet she often goes out of her way to help Leon every time he’s in trouble instead of considering it a nuisance. Coming from someone like her, that means a lot. She’s the one who throws him the rocket launcher in RE2 during the fight against Nemesis, she’s the one who stops Krauser from killing him in RE4 (original, in the remake it is Luis' doing), she also goes against Wesker’s orders to keep him safe, and helps him many times in RE6 and Damnation too. Ada is always watching him from the shadows and would never let anyone harm him, no matter what. Not to mention, the way she trusts Leon becomes evident with how she always lowers her guard around him in a way you never see her doing with anyone else -- like in that choking scene from the original RE4, no other person would be able to catch her off guard like that. She's completely at ease around him.

Something else I noticed is how Ada only acts cool when in front of him. In the original RE4 you can see how she puts that unbothered, cool and mysterious woman show on when face-to-face with him, but as soon as he isn't watching her, the façade drops and she looks at him as if he's the most amazing person in the world, she has the biggest heart eyes for him, even if she doesn't let him see it. I believe the only scene she showed it to him is when he saves her from Saddler and asks her if she's okay, to which she replies with a weak "I've been better", and gives him the softest smile ever. There is so much tenderness in that look she gave him. Also, the way she talks about him: in the original Separate Ways she compliments his skills and intelligence and refers to him as "practically a genius"; she admires and respects him immensely, even if she'd never say that to his face.

My point with this is that the reason why she does that, the reason why Ada doesn’t give too much for Leon, is because she knows it’s just going to make things more difficult for both of them. After all, leaving would be much harder after hearing a “I love you”, after making promises. They both know how they feel, too, so there is no need for words. As I said before, their love isn’t exactly the healthiest and probably is something that hurts them both, but as long as they can see each other again, they can endure the pain that comes with the separation -- because like Leon said himself in RE4, “she’s like a part of me that I can’t let go”

But no matter how much they love each other, in the end, Leon and Ada are always meant to go to their separate ways.

#leon kennedy #ada wong #resident evil #aeon #leon kennedy x ada wong #my essay #character analysis #this is original! Leon centered #( re4 / re6 / the movies)#because his personality changed quite a lot in the remakes #so did Ada's #so naturally their dynamic changed #essay #post #📝 𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠…

56 notes · View notes

thelighthouseandthekraken · 11 months

Text

Woke up thinking about the relationship between Ed and Izzy. Thinking about how important Izzy is to Ed.

In episode 4 when Izzy was having doubts and Ed told him he needed him here.

In episode 6 we learned that Edward is so sad about not having friends but I think Izzy was as close as anyone came before Stede. When Izzy decided to duel Stede, Ed knew he couldn't intervene when Stede accepted, just as he wouldn't intervene when Izzy had to leave, because it was the terms of the duel. Pirate code and whatever.

But in episode 7, Ed wants to leave. "Sharpen his sword, next big adventure" and all that. I think that was directly in response to his loss of Izzy. Izzy and Ed have an unhealthy, complicated relationship but it's been Ed's constant for many many years.

This makes episode 8 make even more sense in context, because here is a man who knew Ed when he was young, another constant of sorts. Of course Ed falls back into his unhealthy habits, not only is that their dynamic, he is deeply feeling the absence of Izzy.

Episode 10 really highlights this in such a brilliant way, because Ed was healing and Izzy couldn't handle it and what does Ed do?

He chooses Izzy. After their interaction in Stede's rooms, we hear the Revenge crew chanting for Edward, by his name. The name he wanted to be called.

In episode 9, Edward comes aboard in the middle of a mutiny. He knows he could be rid of Izzy. We as an audience know Edward orders people killed. He could easily have Izzy killed and selected a new first mate. He could have become Edward to his crew.

But he chooses the Kraken. he cannot lose the only other person in his life who he loves. I do believe he loves Izzy, in a messy, confusing way for him.

And Izzy loves Blackbeard. Ed is confusing to Izzy and in his eyes, Ed is killing Blackbeard.

Edward choosing the Kraken, choosing Izzy, is also choosing someone who loves him at his worst (and unfortunately only at his worst). He thinks he's a bad person, and he's afraid of being left again, so he chooses the person who will smile at him in awe after he feeds him his own toe.

Edward doesn't want to be this person anymore, but he can't risk losing Stede and Izzy

Ed's relationship with Izzy in an undercurrent to the whole show and it's just so messy and delicious and I can't wait to see what they do with it

(Obviously there is a lot more going on with Ed and Izzy psychologically but this post is focusing on their relationship specifically and how that relates to their choices)

#ofmd #our flag means death #long post #izzy hands #edward teach #calico jack #ed x izzy

50 notes · View notes

transmutationisms · 1 year

Text

@yassifiedgollum ok, i’ve kind of been poking at this here and here and here and probably throughout this tag. but basically, drugs on succession are part of how characters react and adapt to the psychological and affective demands made of them under capitalism, specifically logan’s social darwinist kingdom of biopolitical, authoritarian (neo)liberalism. this disrupts the type of linear ‘addiction arc’—familiar to many of us from approximately 70 bazillion trillion tv shows and movies—that proceeds from substance use -> mental disease state -> recovery (read: sobriety) -> possibly relapse.

like, when kendall uses coke, it’s in moments where he needs to live up to what logan demands of him, which is why i call it the business world’s performance-enhancing drug and dalia oreganosbaby has called it “synthetic masculinity.” like, it’s all filtered through kendall’s relationship to logan and the logan in his head; kendall uses as part of his overall attempt to make himself a ‘better,’ ie more productive, capitalist. logan sees this as kendall being weak and submitting to the allure of a party drug, and a frankly shocking number of viewers essentially go along with that view, but it’s not what the show is communicating. and importantly, this is why “go to rehab” is such an impotent and frankly carceral response lol. like, kendall can’t be rehabbed out of a behaviour that is reinforced and demanded of him by capitalist standards of bourgeois masculinity, which are of course also the standards by which logan rules his family, because on this show the family is a microcosm of, and embedded in, the capitalist social matrix.

(i don’t think the writers figured this out until ‘austerlitz,’ because the conceit of that episode demands a confrontation with the logics of psychiatry and an exploration of how that epistemology fails these characters and fails to deal with the social context of affective suffering in general. this is one of the things i think weakens the first 6 episodes.)

another, maybe more obvious, example is the way the roys drink. they do it socially, in business settings, trying to seal deals and also to signal their political affiliations (remember rhea not drinking being conflated with her democratic party views). so consuming alcohol is not some individual pathology, it’s something the roys all demand of each other because of how they conduct business and their standards for productivity, dominance, etc. the fact that kendall’s world is so engulfed by the business is also why we rarely see him doing or seeking downers (these are not productive businessman drugs) and when we do, it’s communicating important information about his psychology and where he sees himself in relation to his father at that moment.

so, i find it ultimately very pointless to try to talk about drugs on this show, and kendall’s addiction in particular, without reference to capitalism and the type of subjectivity that waystar creates and encourages. kendall, as the heir apparent, is being structurally and overtly encouraged to engage in this type of constant striving and auto-exploitation; his drug use is part of how that manifests and is occasionally (ie, with downers) part of his futile attempts to escape from it. his addiction is not some random quirk or something he’s doomed to just for kicks; it’s explicitly created and maintained by his circumstances and specifically by the way neoliberal capitalism functions and what demands it makes of him.

#a sandpit for emergent behaviour

68 notes · View notes

ninadove · 2 months

Text

Opening line patterns 📝

List the first line of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern.

Thank you for the tag, @bittersweetresilience!

Let’s proceed by order of updates (skipping Shadow Strike because my beloved @paracosmicat wrote the incipit)!

God Games ⚡️

If anyone could fend off an akuma, then surely, it had to be Felix.

So proud of this one. The entire premise is here: Felix just doesn’t get akumatised, so what’s the deal?

It’s also a testament to how strong he is in his cousin’s eyes. Fitting, as this entire fic is about Adrien learning how much Felix actually needs him.

Blueberry passion fruit 🫐🍪

Felix prayed this was not another false lead.

He loves his cousin! He’s been searching for him for so long!! He double-checks even the most improbable hints because Adrien’s absence is a gaping wound in his chest!!! I’m so normal about them.

True to Your Heart ⚔️

The wall had been Fu’s idea.

(So you know it’s a terrible one right away.)

I think there's a flaw in my code (Gasoline/Spy AU) 🔥

“You duped me.”

With this one, we begin in medias res! (That’s actually the title of the first chapter.) This entire first part focuses on the confrontation between Argos and Ryuko, and how we got to that point. Emotions are boiling over, as you can see.

Here’s to Never Growing Up 🧸

“Your niece was uncharacteristically excited tonight.”

You can immediately tell this one is going to be pure fluff! You can also infer Felix and Kagami don’t have children of their own, and they’re perfectly happy with it. Emilie could never.

All the shine of a thousand spotlights 🎼

“Did you know waltzing was once considered indecent?”

It’s about the hypocrisy of ever-changing social expectations. It’s about defiance as a form of love. It’s about holding each other tight and gently all at once. It’s about Felix infodumping, because I do it too!

Turntable 💍

“So, you like to be onstage.”

This one… The torture of your abuser holding and using your very nature against you. This first chapter is one of the darkest things I’ve ever written, but it’s always darkest before the dawn.

Escape from the city and follow the sun 🌅

Kagami only wanted one thing from that evening: to not get akumatised.

This poor sweetheart is heartbroken but trying to put up a brave face… She’s convinced her emotions are inherently monstrous… If only someone swooped in to sweep her off her feet… 🥺

Change targets 💐

“No one can know.”

This one is best explained in context:

“No one can know.”

That ship had sailed already. Knuckles white against the pedestal table, careful not to crease the napkin as another coughing fit broke her, Kagami cursed her own lack of discretion.

What she really meant was:

“My mother cannot know.”

Brave, Truthful, and Unselfish 🧸

“… And they lived happily ever after. The end.”

My favourite of the bunch! 💚💜 Fitting that it would be saved for the end.

Storyteller Felix is so dear to me, because we get to see him breaking narrative rules in his quest for freedom, love and happiness. Here, this is manifested by his starting at the end of the tale, ergo flipping the structure entirely. Iconic.

And of course, it’s foreshadowing for Emotion… All he’s ever wanted was to live happily ever after with Adrien. He’s just a child…

OK now let’s talk ✨ statistics ✨

6 of these fics start with dialogue

5+ begin in medias res (it really depends on your definition of the term)

POVs: 5 for Kagami, 3 for Felix, 1 for Adrien and 1 for Fu randomly

All of these tell us something about the characters’ psychology and emotional state. Yes even the stupid Fu one. He’s so proud of himself and does not imagine for a second this world’s Shan Yu is about to breach through his beloved wall. Pathetic.

No false modesty here: I’m really happy with all of these. I used to struggle so badly with incipits, yet here we are! 💜📝

@paracosmicat @jay--hawk @yardikins @capricious-lily @piromina you should do this too!

#I wrote this half-awake and keep thinking of new writer friends to tag #miraculous ladybug #felix graham de vanily #adrien agreste #senticousins #kagami tsurugi #feligami #colt fathom #master fu #ask games #writing #nina writes

10 notes · View notes

incurablyromanticsblog · 2 months

Note

I desperately need the cuntiest clit eastwood movie recs rn i think i arrived at the right place

Yea you arrived at that right place, I would say something salacious about that 6 foot 4 piece of crap but I am practicing restraint.

Anyways I made the decision to watch all Clint Eastwood Films and when I watched coogans bluff I made a new metric of rating movies called:

I’m nowhere near done but I do update it as i go. As for personal recommendations, if you’re looking for moves where he just looks good enough that you want to put him through a torture chamber?

1. Coogan’s Bluff (he’s so hot and for what? To be a right wing wet dream 😔)

2. The dollars trilogy ( do I need to say anything?)

3. Le Streghre (the last sequence, he’s giving hot professor who’s good in bed which is funny within context of the film)

4. Play misty for me (absolutely unreal how good he looks except for one scene where he’s wearing tighty whities and is giving Gumby)

5. Joe Kidd (he looks very good but I have never seen a more mid movie I tell you)

And for good movies of his

1) the beguiled (he looks fantastic but this movie is a gothic psychological thriller, and a good one)

2. Dirty Harry (objectively good movie as long as you know what it’s trying to say, and he’s also hot)

3. Two Mules for Sister Sara (if you want a movie where you don’t want to think and also don’t want to be icked out I’d totally recommend this one, kinda raunchy western rom com with Shirley MacLaine)

4. Paint your wagon (it’s a bit long but if you like funny and ridiculous stuff you’ll love it, I know I did. It’s one of his silly roles and he does very good in it)

5. hang em high (very very good movie, if you like to see him suffer please watch this, he’s very pathetic in it I love it)

6. Bridges of Madison county (such a good film do not know how he directed it, but fair warning he’s a GILF in this one, id still tap it but you should know)

This could have been more cohesive but I’m at work and I wanted to really answer this ask immediately!!!

Tell me how you like the films!!!

#I’m sorry god I know It’s the worst man to be fixated on but #I am a dog and he is a forbidden chew toy

10 notes · View notes

heinzpilsner · 1 month

Text

Tadadada! Here's the epilogue to my 'Overanalyzing beach Maiko' series.

Firstly, let's list some main conclusion theses:

1) Mai became interested in Zuko's problems after he directly mentioned his scar and his relationship with Ozai for the first time, so her final change of attitude does make some sense.

2) The basis for Zuko's irrational jealousy was Mai's annoyed facial expression after he criticized Ruon-Jian.

3) The context of Zuko's jealousy rampage actually leaves a loophole for not-possessive interpretation (yay).

4) Despite how badly Zuko screwed up, Mai somehow managed to screw up even more (yep, still sounds contr-intuitive).

5) Mai actually expresses herself all the time and her "childhood trauma" is a big bullshit.

6) Apart from his inner crisis, Zuko has to fix many problematic attitudes and personality settings before he'll become a decent romantic partner for anyone.

7) So does Mai.

Something like this.

And now, a bit of old good boring and inaccurate psychology lecture mistake correction.

I think that I misinterpreted Zuko's side of "bring me food" scene, actually. You see, I saw it as conscious submission in order to avoid conflict with Mai, but...

It actually looks more like Zuko genuinely didn't realize that Mai's demand was not okay. He wasn't exactly eager to please her*, but he also didn't see her attitude towards him as problematic.

(*Not catching Mai's "I'm hungry" initial hint is kind of an indicator of Zuko's cool-off towards her. I mean, acts of service is his typical way of showing affection, which makes his sudden cluelesness pretty notable.)

Basically, Mai and Zuko in this scene demonstrate opposite facets of locus of control problem. Simply put, they both believe that Zuko is responsible for something he really isn't - in this case, satisfying Mai's hunger.

Later, though, it's Zuko who believes Mai owes him something - namely, to give him affection and meet his emotional needs. In his head, he gives responsibility for his emotional well-being to Mai and scolds her when she "ignores her duty" by not being "passionate" enough.

(But while Mai doesn't owe Zuko anything formally, she made a mistake of severely underestimating Zuko's contribution into relationship and his real value for her. This resulted in her coldness and lack of gratitude in response to his affection, which is quite a big relationship screw-up.)

Okaaay, and with that part out of the way, it's time for my final personal reflections.

In general, I have no doubts I made lots of other mistakes during my analysis. I tried my best, but to dissect relationship conflicts correctly, you need to have good feeling of personal boundaries and empathy of your own. And... Well. It's not exactly my forte.

I compensate for some things with theoretical knowledge, but my mind is a mess, so... Yep.

I feel like I have to go and read more psychological theory after this.

Also, I kinda tried to do an entertainment out of this, and roasting format doesn't exactly mix good with being objective. So, yep. It seems I got some kind of useless Frankenstein monster in the end, lol.

And finally... Perhaps I had to make it clear much earlier, but...

I have nothing against Maiko shippers or Mai fans. Ta-da!

I'm sure they have a lot against me now though, pffft.

I realize what I wasn't exactly restrained in my roasting, so it's natural for you to dislike me. But my goal wasn't to tell you what your preferences are inadequate or something. I mean, I myself ship much more toxic problematic shit (and have a weak spot for all sorts of flawed characters). It isn't supposed to be about being rational. You like it, I don't, it's ok.

Dunno, maybe someone needed to hear this.

That's all, I guess. If you were reading this series - thanks for your attention. Despite everything, it was a rather interesting experience for me, and I hope you found something useful for yourself too.

I wonder what I should analyse next >:D

I ignore all notifications, but maybe I'll make an exception soon. Ta-da! What a cliffhanger.

#atla #zuko #mai atla #anti maiko

7 notes · View notes

ihopesocomic · 9 months

Note

Another way I think IHS is better than MP that I don't think anyone else has mentioned yet is the comedy. You guys certainly do a far more competent job at placing comic relief at the right and appropriate moments. Moments like Adamant's flashback to how her head got stuck in a meerkat hole and Quiet sang despite the former being annoyed. Or when Fade the squire freaks out like a little cat when Diamond gives him a good swipe! You guys do it well and it doesn't interfere with the comic's tone.

To be fair, it's very easy to be funnier than MP. It had no idea what it was doing for drama, and comedy is WAY harder to write. Which is why I'll never write a comedy LOL I know my limits. But thank you! I ask for all kinds of input on it, so it's good to see that people are enjoying it for what it is. Using humor sparingly in something like this helps to break the tension. Which is really all I need it to be.

I know comedy is subjective but there's still basic rules to follow, based on context (and geography). So it's really important to establish early on what kind of mood you're going for. So it's not jarring when there's humor later. This is like. Basic shit about genres. It's not forbidden knowledge, this is just stuff people know without realizing, so I expect people in the industry to know this better than anyone.

I know some of you might be thinking "What humor?". First of all, exactly. Second, I'm talking about A) Hover's ableist jokes at Nothing and Quickmane. B) Hover's near-constant deflection every time she opens her stupid mouth in episode 3. C) Shit like after Feather makes his big anime protagonist speech in episode 6, Nothing is all "How aboot we start with getting some sleep tonight before fixing the whole world?" like not only was that not funny, but it was literally after this kid broke down about his family being killed and hating Pride Law, like read the room Nothing, jfc. D) In episode 7 Powerstrike being like "I know she did (love me). Only Sunce knows why." And she laughs about it, like was that meant to be funny? Was it tongue in cheek? I still don't know. But all I could think about is how abusive she was to her daughter right before she disappeared. So whether it was meant to be funny, or her coming to some sort of realization about herself, it doesn't matter because she's trying to find humor in her being an abusive fuckin parent while her kid still cares about her.

Then there's Ghost in episode 10, where we presumably hear (from Ghost) Tangle's last sobs of desperation before getting mercilessly killed by someone he trusted. Whether or not you feel Fire deserved psychological torture or not isn't really the point. The point is MP thought that after Nothing gets the shit beaten out of her, and tells Fire to kill her, it was a good time to lighten the mood. Which is just disturbing. Or as someone tried telling me "It's a dark comedy, it's supposed to be disturbing". Like yeah, I know what dark comedy is. Some of my favorite movies are dark comedies. But that's the big difference here isn't it? MP isn't a dark comedy, it's barely a comprehensive story. I know what it was trying to do in the scene, and it didn't work due to the scenes leading up to it, I dunno what else to tell you.

It's fine if you find it funny, I find lots of unfunny things funny. I still think this is funny. I could honestly go on about this scene, it pisses me off in a way other scenes don't, but I've already rambled too much.

Like there's a fewwwww places I could probably fit in humor if I was writing MP? But I would start by having Hover know what fuckin tact is. But I'm not a professional. - Cat

#ask #ask us stuff #cat answers #my pride mention

18 notes · View notes

pretty--in--purple · 1 year

Text

Science Says People (Specifically Kids) Are Good, Actually

okay i just rediscovered the link to one of my favourite studies ever and i wanted to share it with the class.

Koomen, R., Grueneisen, S., & Herrmann, E. (2020). Children Delay Gratification for Cooperative Ends. Psychological Science, 31(2), 139–148. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797619894205

(it's behind a paywall, but if you can't access and you're interested i have the pdf)

This study modified the marshmallow test, where kids are asked to hold off on eating one marshmallow in order to get another one later. The study used children from Germany and Kenya, with localised treats that were familiar to the kids. 70 of the children were paired up interdependently - each pair would only get the second treat if they both held off eating the first. 69 (nice) were paired up dependently - they each thought that they were the only one of the two who had to avoid eating the treat, and 68 were doing the test as normal.

The interdependent kids were significantly better at the test than those doing the test normally - cooperation (the idea that they were doing this for AND with a friend) had a significant positive effect on their willpower ! The dependent kids were also better at the test than the solo ones - showing that children can delay gratification better when they're doing it for a friend - but not as much as the interdependent ones. Even though they knew that they were the only ones who had to hold out, the fact that they weren't doing it with a friend meant they didn't have that amazing boost of willpower. (there are small cultural differences here between the Kenyan and German children, but the overall interdependence effect holds.)

From the discussion: "Delaying gratification is often critical for cooperation to succeed. Here, 5- to 6-year-olds from two highly distinct cultures were more likely to delay gratification when their outcomes were interdependently linked than when they performed the same task alone, even though the interdependent context entailed additional risks. These findings support the notion that human cooperative relations, particularly social interdependence, critically shape cognitive performance from an early age."

i just find this study so heartening, because it's truly applicable throughout life. if you've ever done something for a friend that you couldn't do for yourself, that's this effect! our reliance on others (and their reliance on us) is hugely beneficial for ourselves and for society - how nice is that?

Similar studies:

this one again shows increased willpower in kids for the good of others !

this one shows how kids begin to give more to people that need it

this one found that kids as young as three show altruistic behaviour when it comes to the present, and by five they've developed altruism for future events !

this study found that by the age of 8, children will reject unfairness EVEN WHEN IT BENEFITS THEM !!

in summary i love people and i love children and we are all built kind it is our duty to make sure as many people as possible stay that way

#i'll send anyone a pdf of any of these feel free to ask for them #child development #psychology #child psychology #developmental psychology #altruism #marshmallow test #positivity #optimism #love #people are good #faith in humanity #science #please add any other studies you know of in the replies/reblogs ! i love this field with all my heart #cool stuff #sky (the blogger) originals

57 notes · View notes

halucynator · 6 months

Note

whats ur fave movie?

I'm asking because i need recommendations and u seem like u have great taste

hello anon! i specified different genres bc not everyone likes all genres xx i watch shows more so i put some of those in as well x alsooo thank you that's one of the best compliments for me haha <33 my favourite ones are in blue x not all of these are my favourites x my least favourite are in green.

Movies

Scream (horror/slasher. any but my favourite is scream 6. if you do plan on watching scream 6, watch scream 5 for context x)

Choose or Die (more thriller than horror)

No escape room ^

Escape Room (there's two both are on netflix. thriller)

Missing (2023. thriller)

Run (thriller)

Babysitter (there's two. slasher. not my fave but could be yours)

The weekend away (thriller, crime)

It (horror. too gory for me. there's 2)

Ballerina/Leap (disney movie. family)

Coraline (horror? idrk)

Shows

One of us is lying (thriller)

The watcher (thriller. weird ending: you've been warned)

You (dark psychological thriller)

The Promised Neverland (anime. dark psychological thriller)

Lockwood and Co (thriller. supernatural. my fav ofc. hasn't been renewed. cliffhanger ending)

Locke and Key (fantasy horror drama)

Alexa and Katie (family show)

hehe i know it became a bit too long and you only asked for my top movies so here's my top 3 fav movies:

Scream 6 (shockingg)

Coraline

Run

thank youuu if you have any movie recs, please pop them in my inbox i'd love to check them outtt <3333

#movie recs #horror #psychological thriller #thriller #horror film #tumblr asks #asks #luce posts 💌#lucy's mailbox 💘#anon!

8 notes · View notes

circesoracle · 25 days

Note

6 (or 8. I find 6 intriguing but I want a spoiler however you're most comfortable) 14, 17 (😄), 18, 25, 29, 32, 44, 58, 66 for eternity's embrace, 79

Just a couple of questions for the fanfiction writing asks. I promise I tried not to ask too many but I couldn't help it ^-^

6/8. What’s the last line you wrote?/Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

These are functionally the same thing right now, so:

How like a saint she stood, back to the glass mural of the Martyr Sabrine, wings spread in holy dignity which did appear to sprout from the shoulders of the asari princess. From on high was the light brought down to shine upon her alone. So like an angel painted upon the sky did she stand, resplendent in the rainbow streaks of sun caught in the stained glass of the cathedral windows. Cast across her scales in prismatic patterns she was as otherworldly - as ethereal - as any who in Heaven’s Halls did walk.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

Scrunched up in bed or sprawled out, I struggle to focus if I'm sitting up or at a table I have to be able to lounge. Gotta have my legs bent funny or I simply can't write.

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

A little bit, but I find it easy to get overwhelmed by things. None of my fics have really required *research* more just double checking things.

My novel however requires massive amounts of research even if almost none of it pays off. I am a genius who decided to write a book about street racing and cars when I myself can not drive and know nothing about cars. I spent a week doing so much research about cars just so I could make up fake sci-fi parts and manufacturers. I wanted to get stuff right even though it's all sci-fi and made up, yknow?

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Writing for sure! Outlining is a pain, I do worldbuilding mostly as it's needed off a rough outline, and I never edit. If it's a one-shot there's no planning at all. So even though I take damage whenever I write it's still the most enjoyable part of the process because a lot of the time it's the only part of the process for me. Where's that defunctland tweet about the only thing worse than doing [creative pursuit] is not doing it. That's how I feel about writing a lot of the time.

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

Including this one is an act of psychological warfare.

I am proud that I do it. I'm proud that despite how much doubt and loathing I feel about my writing I still do it. Even though I think I could sit here for hours trying to pick something, trying to lie and pick out something other people tell me I'm good at but I don't believe, I still write, and I still want to write. I can't say I'm good at it, or that I think I do anything particularly well, but I write, and I'm proud that I do. I might never be in a place were I like my writing or can pick something I'm good at. I'll also never be in a place where I stop writing for good.

32. Do you take fic requests? Why or why not?

Nebulously, yes! I ask for requests and simply never get a response from people, so I stopped saying I take requests uhh about a year ago. There just isn't enough interest I guess. I wish I was someone who could take writing commissions but even for free people don't want it 😅

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

Fantasy, easy. My writing works best for fantasy I find, something I didn't give much thought until I was writing a sci-fi novel and realised how strange my prose are in that context. I don't even particularly like fantasy, on balance I like sci-fantasy, and in media I prefer sci-fi, but fantasy has always just been where my writing goes, and what my prose seem to match.

58. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

Any of the scenes in The Reconciliation of Oberon and Titania that allude to the specific art pieces. The Great Wave Off Kanagawa and The Birth of Venus sections in particular, which I'll include here for the sake of the question.

The Great Wave Off Kanagawa

In blue silks she splayed upon the floor of her own gallery. White-capped waves upon the crashing seas of bunched silk was her flesh, and her body pulled upwards, upwards, yearning, needing, craving the touch of her sickening unseen moon. With sexual need and the heat of a churning sea, she tipped the boat of Marika’s hand, pushing and pulling her with the force of a storm beyond tides and nightly whims. She screamed with a siren pitch. She moaned with muffled pleasure, head under her own waves as she was conjured tempest-like into howling climax. The great wave crashed and with it came her hips upon the silks and her cry of pleasure into the cream night.

The Birth of Venus

Like Venus exalted in newborn ecstasy upon her scalloped bed, Marika arched for her and laid her naked body before her in the wanting of a child. She cried out like she was experiencing the pleasure of touch upon her body for the first time, new virginity pried from between her pearl-dropped salt-slicked thighs, split open upon her birth. An opening of her own shell, a spreading of her downy dove wings, the blooming of her tear-stained red rose, before she would be spoilt and numbed to pleasure through her own lust for it ever onward.

66. What’s a fun fact about Eternity's Embrace?

Besides the two earlier versions of it I've talked about before and the working title it had when I was drafting it, the version of Eternity's Embrace that got posted started life as a hybrid Breath of the Wild AU for Liara x Femshep that got heavily reworked. Tali took the place of Urbosa hence her remaining a close ally of Liara's in Eternity's Embrace despite there maybe not being a huuuge amount of justification for that in canon (they are best friends in my imagination)

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

I suck so bad at writing advice! I just write and that's the honest truth, I have no tips, I have no advice, except don't listen to anyone purple your prose if that's how you want to write please I'm begging you. And read more, and not just fic. Read books, and read lots of them, and make sure they're varied! But that's really it, read more and write exactly how you want, if someone says no write more like this. kill them.

tysm bestie <3

#fanfic ask game #I don't care how long this is #look at my asks boy

3 notes · View notes

9800sblog · 10 months

Note

Hi. I was wondering if you could do a future spouse reading with Kai (Exo). Their personality, foreigner, dynamic and stuff. Thank you.

Kai tarot reading

characteristics of his future spouse

do I have his energy permission to do and share this reading? the hierophant, the tower reversed

this person's gonna go through much scrutiny just for being his partner, but they will think it's worth it because they are soulmates, written in the stars (the empress + the emperor and the king of wands + queen of cups came through), they're really the perfect match. so that might be our first introduction to them, through their relationship with kai, they're probably not well known and famous like him. this is someone really thoughtful, considerate and controlled, they have a lot of self composure and know how to deal with difficult situations. I'm seeing the public will make them look spoiled, money hungry and superficial, but they're actually humble and kind, may have some tendencies that the public will definitely twist out of context and use against them. this is a really mature and psychologically astute person, kai would be proudly watching them talk to people admiring their unending intelligence.

personality

looks

roses, straight hair with V cut, they look younger than they are, have a youthful face, probably because they're always smiling, but they look intimidating, they seem to have an angry, rbf. probably someone physically strong, somewhat thick legs. they might be short. I think they have a romantic style, many flowers, I see. they might be creative with their looks, to the point that it doesn't look conventionally good (like cutting their hair at home, making or reforming their own clothes), they may wear things on their head often. it kind of feels like this is describing their wedding look, so that might be how the public sees them for the first time. that's really cute! I think they really wouldn't hold back and their personal styles would be all over the ceremony, I don't think they'd be very traditional, it's a really cute energy, they're so sweet, this guys seems really happy with them!

ethnicity, race, nationality

I think they're asian, they seem pretty well traveled and I think that their father comes from a different country than the mother, not necessarily a different race tho, it's just that I got the emperor and the world cards, a settled man and a woman with no boundaries. they might not be born in the same country where they live in right now and their sibling(s) might have been born in different place from them too. it seems they are ethnically korean but born in a different country. it's interesting how kpop gives the opportunity for these artists to meet people from all over the place.

career and fame

again, they're gonna get fame or public recognition for being his partner, they are beautiful and he'd do anything for them (he might take a break from fame or work).

6 of wands reversed, 3 of pentacles reversed, high priestess, 8 of cups

this person is definitely a healer of some kind, they might have more than one job and I think one of them is like a therapist or a neurosurgeon. but I think at this time, they will maybe have also taken a break from work. they may be reconsidering their life choices, dealing with a lot.

dynamic

this person is probably gonna be super jealous and he's gonna attend to their needs, these two will be very thoughtful and considerate of each other, easily accommodating and making space for the other in their lives. they will travel together and may have a bit of physical distance because of work, but I think one will tag along with the other sometimes. they will travel together for fun a lot too. I think this person is gonna show a new side of kai to himself and to the public, a person that isn't tied down and carrying around heavy baggage, they will help each other feel at ease and heal their wounds. I looked it up if he has any physical health issues because that's definitely relevant here, this person is gonna help him deal with that and he's gonna feel better and brighter and easier :) he really loves this person, they really care for each other.

#exo #kpop tarot #tarot #celebrity readings #kai #exo kai #kpop #exo tarot

13 notes · View notes