It's okay to outgrow people and to move on;
I am meant to be experienced just as life is.
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Sitting in Toronto airport...
for 7 hours, 7 hours! I bought red lipstick. I changed my clothes. I braided my hair. I started sweating. I've pissed like 5 times. I got a Long Island. I want to cry because there's a picture of Cinque Terre on the wall across from me, advertised as "la dolce vita" - the sweet life. I'll be there in 2 days.
I was thinking earlier - I'm so fucking antagonistic towards myself. And inevitably, in turn, towards other people. I may love you ... but if you dare remind me of any part of myself, I'll scoff at you and hate myself more as I do it...
Just be in love this whole time, for the rest of your time, Rachel... Cry whenever you want to. He changed your life - tell him that. You're confused but you're still in motion. You can't just get on planes. Big life, sweet life, can be anywhere you are, Rachel (or self, or some asshole who's reading my journal...). You are a big, throbbing swell of intensity. So what. Stop trying to fight it. Intensity:
got you to Italy
and makes love explosive -
brought you to Hawai'i
and is in the physical sensation of being penetrated - up and down, back and forth - so goddamn well...
You'll be intense your whole life. It's not going anywhere. So be an intense, loyal lover like you know you are and scream out your love and moan out how good his feels. And let this life be the best sex yet.
I want to cry. I want to fuck. And I still want you to care.
LA DOLCE VITA, 2017 - Absolutely random spit and scribbles I wrote half-drunk in my journal many moons, many planes ago. I found this tonight and laughed. I want to remember this one...
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Bro this new side order DLC is fuckin' weird man
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Out with the old and in with the new
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eroticism of the machine this, eroticism of the machine that. what about the AROMANTICISM of the machine. what about the electric comfort of looking at a beautiful turbine engine and knowing that it is just like you. what about the urge to cut open your chest to prove your heart is made of wires and your ribs are made of steel. what about that
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(bug like an angel - mitski)
zelda fans is this. anything
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