As noted, I have never bought into the “Finwe and Indis condemned Miriel to eternal death” take on their situation or other views that Finwe and Indis callously fucked Miriel (and/or Feanor) over, partly because it does not, to my eye, comport to how the situation is presented, where the narrative does not place blame on any one of the three of them. The choice to remain in Mandos very much belonged to Miriel, and it was a decision she made repeatedly and without hesitation or wavering. That she might have, many years later, come to regret it does not mean Finwe and Indis were necessarily wrong to rely on the choice Miriel had repeatedly made clear. Neither is Miriel someone malleable and prone to being coerced or manipulated--she, like her son, is firm of mind and unwilling to be swayed by others. And indeed it wasn’t until after Finwe’s death that she did begin to change her mind, at which point Finwe willingly remains in Mandos so that Miriel can accept rebirth.
Even if you don’t accept History of Middle-earth as canon (and no one is required to), I think it can be very indicative of the intent behind The Silmarillion, so I have included some of those quotes below also, because Morgoth’s Ring addresses a few versions of Finwe and Miriel’s story.
“At their parting (for a little while as he thought) Finwë was sad, for it seemed an unhappy chance that the mother should depart and miss the beginning at least of the childhood days of her son.” (The Silmarillion, “Of Fëanor and the Unchaining of Melkor”)
Initially, Miriel’s time in Lorien was meant to be temporary and restorative, and Finwe treats it as such, anticipating Miriel’s eventual return. Each version of this story makes it clear that what Finwe wanted above all was not to remarry, but to be reunited with Miriel, and that he was willing to wait for her to return--but not if she persisted in having no plans to ever return.
“Then [after Míriel’s passing] Finwë lived in sorrow; and he went often to the gardens of Lorien, and sitting beneath the silver willows beside the body of his wife he called her by her names. But it was unavailing; and alone in all the Blessed Realm he was deprived of joy.” (The Silmarillion, “Of Fëanor”)
Some of the Valar speak of Finwe’s impatience, but their perspective is much different than that of the Children. Finwe does not immediately give up on Miriel; they speak of her healing in Lorien and Finwe persists in believing that she will return, even after her effective death. In “Of the Silmarils and the Darkening of Valinor--Of Finwe and Miriel” from Morgoth’s Ring, it was twelve years after Miriel’s death that Finwe first approached Manwe about remarriage--a fair chunk of Feanor’s childhood.
“Now Ingwë, hearing of the strange grief of Finwë, and desiring to lift up his heart and withdraw him from vain mourning in Lorien, had sent messages bidding him to leave Túna for a while, and to come and well for a season in the full light of the Trees. Finwë thanked him but did not go, while there was yet hope that Míriel would return.” (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of the Silmarils and the Darkening of Valinor--Of Finwë and Míriel”)
It really isn’t until after the passing of the Statute of Finwe and Miriel, when Miriel commits to remaining in Mandos, that Finwe surrenders the hope that she will return and they will be together again.
Even after the statute is passed and Manwe gives Finwe permission to consider remarriage, Finwe still expresses a preference for Miriel’s return rather than remarriage:
“Finwe answered: ‘I am in no haste, My Lord, and my heart has no desire, save the hope that when this doom is made clear to Míriel, she may yet relent and set a term to my bereavement.’“ (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of Finwë and Míriel”)
Certainly you can argue he is focused here on his own feelings--but generously I would suggest it’s not entirely fair to give Miriel the power to choose not return to life but also to prevent her husband from ever moving on. Finwe is and has been willing to wait for Miriel--what appears to frustrate him is that he sees no sign Miriel will ever change her mind and therefore that he will be expected to dwell forever in perpetual grief. Which is, you know. Not great for anyone.
Vaire relays this sentiment to Miriel, who insists she cannot be healed within Arda, and Vaire reports to Namo on her mindset:
“Then Vairë said to Mandos: ‘The spirit of Míriel hath dwelt with me, and I know it. It is small, but it is strong and obdurate: one of those who having said this will I do make their words a law irrevocable unto themselves. Unless constrained, she will not return to life or to Finwë, though he should wait until the ageing of the world.’“ (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of Finwë and Míriel”)
Further confirmation that Miriel’s mind cannot be swayed by counsel (hmm that sound familiar...). Having made her decision, she means to stick with it, no matter how long Finwe waits for her. Asking Finwe--the only widower in Aman--to simply accept never having a partner again is also a heavy price to pay, and for a decision that wasn’t his.
“‘Therefore the one that is in the keeping of Mandos shall remain there until the end of Arda, and shall not awake again or take bodily form. For none among the Quendi shall have two spouses at one time alive and awake...this disunion shall come to pass only with the consent of both. And after the giving of the consent ten years of the Valar shall pass ere Mandos confirms it. Within that time either party may revoke this consent...’
It is said that Míriel answered Mandos saying: ‘I came hither to escape from the body, and I do not desire ever to return to it.’ (Morgoth’s Ring, “The Earliest Version of the Story of Finwë and Míriel”)
This earliest version of the story presents one where Miriel had a decade at minimum to choose to revoke her decision to remain in Mandos and that she herself could have put the nix on the possibility of Finwe’s remarriage, but chose not to do so. In later drafts of the story, the time required to pass before consent is accepted is increased to twelve years. (If you combine this with the twelve years Finwe waits to even approach Manwe about remarriage, this is a total of at least twenty-four years between Miriel’s death and even the possibility of Finwe’s remarriage. Add to this the three years that certain drafts place between this and his marriage with Indis for a potential total of twenty-seven years between Miriel’s death and Finwe’s remarriage.)
Here, Miriel is expressly, clearly, directly informed that she may choose to remain in Mandos, but that if she permits Finwe’s remarriage and he takes it, she will lose the ability to choose rebirth. Still, Miriel sticks with her original decision. With informed consent, Miriel makes her choice. Unless we are meant to assume she doesn’t know what she wants, it’s hard to take this as anything but confirmation that Miriel is sure she will never want to return to life. It seems unfair to condemn Finwe and Indis for taking her at her word, even if she eventually comes to regret her choice. (This is the price of the freedom of choice--you may make a choice you regret.)
“But the shadow of Míriel did not depart from the house of Finwë, nor from his [Finwë’s] heart; and of all whom he loved Fëanor had ever the chief share of his thought.” (The Silmarillion, “Of Feanor”)
Even after his wedding to Indis, Finwe does not forget his love for Miriel, and he certainly doesn’t show favoritism to the children of Indis--rather, he seems particularly concerned that Feanor should know he is loved despite his father’s remarriage. That Feanor refuses to accept this cannot, I think, be laid wholly at the feet of Finwe, particularly into Feanor’s adulthood. We can certainly say that Finwe failed to adequately reassure Feanor--but the text leaves that open as to fault and degrees of fault, and it may be there was nothing Finwe could ever have said that would have consoled Feanor, or it may be that they were both simply very different people and Finwe never managed to get through to Feanor, or it may be that Finwe did not try hard enough to make Feanor feel differently. But I also don’t consider it fair that Feanor’s disapproval should mean Indis and Finwe, two consenting adults, are prohibited from marrying.
That Finwe chooses to go into exile with Feanor and effectively surrenders his crown over it says quite a lot about his affection for Feanor and his willingness to publicly take Feanor’s side. This does not read like a case of Feanor being shunted aside by his father’s remarriage.
“In that evil time Finwë was slain by the Marrer himself, and his body was burned as by lightning stroke and destroyed. Then Míriel and Finwë met again in Mandos and lo! Míriel was glad of the meeting, and her sadness was lightened, and the will in which she had been set was released.
“And when she learned of Finwë all that had befallen since her departure (for she had given no heed to it, nor asked tidings, until then) she was greatly moved; and she said to Finwë in her thought: ‘I erred in leaving thee and our son, or at least in not soon returning after brief repose; for had I done so he might have grown wiser. But the children of Indis shall redress his errors and therefore I am glad they should have being, and Indis hath my love. How should I bear grudge against one who received what I rejected and cherish what I abandoned.’“ (Morgoth’s Ring, “Laws and Customs Among the Eldar”) (emphasis added)
In this earlier draft of the story from HoME, Miriel explicitly approves post-hoc of the marriage, praising the children of Indis and foreseeing they might fix Feanor’s wrongs, and disavowing that she might have any bitterness towards Indis for marrying Finwe. This, I think, is also deeply indicative of how we are meant to view this situation: Miriel herself does not resent Indis. Miriel herself does not think Indis did anything wrong--nor does she seem to believe either Finwe or Indis wronged Feanor. This goes to the point that just because Feanor was angry and upset about his father’s remarriage doesn’t, in and of itself, mean Finwe was wrong to remarry.
Immediately after this, Miriel expresses a desire again for life, and so Finwe entreats Vaire to release Miriel from Mandos:
“And Finwë said to Vairë: ‘Dost thou hear the prayer and desire of Míriel? Why will Mandos refuse this redress of her griefs, that her being may not be void and without avail? Behold! I instead will abide with Mandos for ever, and so make amends.’“ (Morgoth’s Ring, “Laws and Customs Among the Eldar”) (emphasis added)
Both Finwe and Miriel appear here to have regrets about what happened. Unfortunately, regrets are part of life and not necessarily indicative that something wrong was done. But Finwe now voluntarily remains behind in Mandos that Miriel might again have life, now that she has expressed a shift in her view on the matter. Not really the behavior of someone with no concern about Miriel’s happiness or well-being. Nor does he throw himself on the sword suggesting he was wrong to remarry, which would’ve called for some apology to Miriel. Again, I think this is just an overall difficult, tragic situation out of which there was no easy, painless path.
Nor is it suggested that Indis was seeking to horn in on the marriage between Finwe and Miriel.
“She [Indis] loved Finwë dearly; for her heart had turned to him long before, while the Vanyar still dwelt with the Noldor in Túna. In those days, she had looked upon the Lord of the Noldor, and he seemed to her the fairest and noblest of the Eldar...Therefore she remained unwedded when her people removed to Valinor, and she walks often alone in the friths and fields of Valinor, filling them with music.” (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of Finwë and Míriel”)
Yes, Indis loved Finwe even while Miriel was still alive--but no version of the story suggests she tried to slide in when Miriel had died, or tried to disturb their marriage before. In fact, the way she catches Finwe’s attention is entirely accidental.
“...when Indis saw Finwë climbing the paths of the Mountain, and the light of Laurelin was behind him as a glory, without forethought she sang suddenly in great joy, and her voice went up as a song of the lirulin in the sky. Then Finwë heard that song falling from above, and he looked up and saw Indis in the golden light, and he knew in that moment that she loved him and had long done so.” (Morgoth’s Ring, “Of Finwë and Míriel”)
The presentation of Indis has never been, in my view, of a gold-digger or someone who was looking to take advantage of Miriel’s death or absence. Between The Silmarillion and HoME, Indis seems presented more as one who, knowing Miriel desired never to return to life, saw that she and Finwe might find some joy out of his grief. She could not have foreseen that Feanor would take their marraige so poorly, or that he would never forgive it, or the extremes to which he was willing to go to show that, post-Melkor’s release.
As noted in quotes below, even the Valar recognized that Indis had loved Finwe “in patience, and without bitterness,” which is not a descriptor, to me, of someone trying to take personal advantage of the situation. She isn’t at fault for loving Finwe, and she isn’t at fault for his choosing to remarry, or for Miriel’s choosing to die. Honestly of everyone involved here, I think Indis has the least culpability. All she did was marry someone she loved, with the consent of his late wife.
“The wedding of his father was not pleasing to Fëanor; and he had no great love for Indis, nor for Fingolfin and Finarfin, her sons...In those unhappy things which later came to pass, and in which Fëanor was the leader, many saw the effect of this breach within the house of Finwë, judging that if Finwë had endured his loss and been content with the fathering of his mighty son, the courses of Fëanor might have been otherwise...But the children of Indis were great and glorious, and their children also; and if they had not lived the history of the Eldar would have been diminished.” (The Silmarillion, “Of Fëanor”) (emphasis added)
The end of this section is one I think is crucial to remember for the narrative: Tolkien explicitly eschews the idea that everything would’ve simply been better if Finwe and Indis had never married and never had kids. Yes, grief came out of the situation, but joy and greatness came from it too, and erasing Fingolfin, Finarfin, Lalwen, Findis, Fingon, Aredhel, Turgon, Argon, Finrod, Aegnor, Angrod, and Galadriel, and their descendants from the story and the history of the Elves would be a lessening.
This is a sentiment that existed from very early drafts:
“‘Behold! Indis the fair shall be made glad and fruitful, who might have else been solitary....Long hath she loved Finwë, in patience and without bitterness. Aulë named Fëanor the greatest of the Eldar, and in potency that is true. But I say unto you that the children of Indis shall also be great, and the Tale of Arda more glorious because of their coming. And from them shall spring things so fair that no tears shall dim their beauty; in whose being the Valar, and the Kindreds of both of Elves and of Men that are to come shall all have part, and in whose deeds they shall rejoice...When he that shall be called Eärendil setteth foot upon the shores of Aman, ye shall remember my words.’“ (Namo addresses the Valar, Morgoth’s Ring, “Laws and Customs Among the Eldar”) (emphasis added)
Attached to The Earliest Draft of the Story of Finwe and Miriel is this Laws and Customs Among the Eldar wherein the Valar debate whether or not to permit Finwe’s remarriage and whether any of the three Elves involved here is at fault for the situation. During this debate, Namo Mandos gives this proclamation about the greatness of the children of Indis and the impact they will have on the future of Arda, even to anticipating the arrival of Earendil in Aman.
Narratively, Tolkien thus emphasizes that great good comes from the marriage of Finwe and Indis, in spite of Feanor’s response to it which causes much grief for the Elves. If the purpose of the story was to feel that they had acted in pure selfishness and that their marriage was some turning point where the tragedies of the Elves could have been entirely averted, I don’t think he would have taken so much care to make it clear what beneficial things came out of it.
All of which is to say I stand by my original assessment that none of these people was wholly at fault for what happened. Unfortunately we are all of us swayed by our emotions and there are times when there is simply no easy way out of a sticky situation. As in the original post--there was no way to fix this without someone being deeply unhappy. The marriage of Finwe and Indis, particularly as approved by Miriel, probably seemed at the time like the most painless way to handle it, particularly as the strong love of Finwe for Feanor would likely negate Feanor’s being usurped by any children of Indis. Certainly you can choose to read malicious motives into any of the four characters chiefly involved here--but I don’t think it’s the most accurate reading of the text. At worst, I think they could be viewed as careless or blinkered, but I don’t think any of them was ill-intentioned.
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Height comparisons - Part 1
Finwe - Ridiculously tall as compared to everyone else, at least until Maedhros is born, at which point his height isn't that impressive anymore.
Miriel - Rather short as compared to the rest of the population. Feanor inherited his height from her.
Indis - Also rather short, although none of her children inherited her height.
House of Feanor:
Feanor - Literally one of the shortest in the family. Constantly curses his height, especially when he's in an argument with any of his half-siblings.
Nerdanel - Tall. Most of her children inherited her height, and Feanor is very glad for it. The two of them look slightly comical when they walk together though.
Maedhros - Tallest elf ever (in his family at least). He's the first one to outgrow Finwe, and then no one ever beats him, though Turgon gets close.
Maglor - Tall, but willowy, so he doesn't look that tall. He does make most of his cousins look short though.
Celegorm - Second tallest of the brothers, and just below Turgon in their entire family. Argon, Finwe and him have had multiple arguments about who was taller.
Caranthir - Averagely tall. Has never stood beside anyone to compare, but he would definitely be taller than most of his cousins.
Curufin - Does not speak about his height, but the main difference between Feanor and him is their height. If asked, he'll admit that he's on the shorter side in their extended family.
Amrod and Amras - Inherited their father's short genes. Have not outgrown the 'baby' stage of their development, and will always remain at said stage. No one dares to tease them about their height, except Celebrimbor.
Celebrimbor - Shorter than Curufin. Has complained about his lack of height to both Gil-Galad and Elrond multiple times (the two are about a head taller than him).
Part 2 (House of Fingolfin) - Here
Part 3 (House of Finarfin) - Here
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