#ex!harry x reader

[gurugirl]

The Ex | ex!harry

Summary: Harry's your ex-lover and you see him at a wedding after many years apart. You're both married but Harry proposes something that you have a hard time saying no to.

A/n: This will have a jucier, alternative ending but you'll only find it on Patreon! I consider this Tumblr version to be what happens in 'real life'. Enjoy!

Word Count: 3435

Warning: 18+ only, mentions of smut, emotional cheating, angst

You had no way of knowing he’d be there. But then again, he also had no clue that you would be there either.

You spotted one another right away. It was as if by magic something had drawn your eyes to his. He was already casting his gaze toward you, those soft green eyes taking you in as he held the hand of the woman to his right.

Your heart skipped a beat and looking at him again after all those years felt like there hadn’t been a day that aged him. He looked just as youthful and vibrant and handsome as ever. Dark curls placed carefully on top of his head in a flattering style, broad shoulders, a slender waist, and nicely fitted pants showing off what you remember being very sturdy and masculine thighs.

“Oh! Here are our seats!” Your husband, Les, spoke from your side and pulled at your hand, drawing your attention back to where it belonged.

You shook yourself of the direction your thoughts had been headed just before. What good did it do to remember how things were once upon a time? When you were young and in college, no kids or a career… things had been so different back then. And seeing your ex, the man you thought you’d marry, the one you thought would be by your side until you grew old and ugly…

“Are you okay, babe?” Les asked you with concern on his face.

“I’m fine… yeah! Just looking around and seeing a bunch of old faces. People I haven’t seen in years.”

You were at a friend’s wedding. Someone you, by some miracle, had stayed in touch with since high school. You had grown apart from Seria over the years but she still invited you to her wedding and you couldn’t imagine missing it even though you had to find an overnight sitter for your two kids and drive five hours to a different state to attend. Something told you it would be worth it.

You turned slowly to glance around the room again, your wine glass in hand and caught his eye again. The woman he was seated next to was as lovely as she was when you first met. You remembered her. She was in your senior graduating class. An acquaintance. Someone that Harry had grown close to but that you hadn’t gotten to know all that well. At first, her presence didn’t threaten you. But after you all graduated she and Harry became inseparable and he slowly began spending less time with you and more time with her. They had a lot in common, as you recall. They were both music majors, they’d write music together and play at bars in tiny scraped-together bands occasionally.

You found out on accident about how serious he was about her. No one thought you didn’t know.

You had visited a mutual friend’s apartment and stopped in for tea and a little chat. Sarah had a whiteboard hung up on her front door, facing the inside. People would write on it. Doodle pictures, scrawl their names in different colors, or just leave funny messages.

You didn’t take note of the whiteboard at first but when you sat down on Sarah’s couch you looked up at it and saw what had been written in black with red hearts all around.

harry + ginny = really good stuff

It took you a moment to let it all sink in after you saw that. You and Sarah made small talk but you couldn’t stop thinking about what was written on the whiteboard. And the hearts all around it told you it meant more than just something friendly. So you had to interrupt and ask, “Is that… my Harry?” You already knew the answer.

Sarah followed your gaze to the whiteboard and she let out a small gasp, “Oh! I forgot that was there. Are you okay about all this? I know it’s still fresh. You and Harry were together for years.”

“Am I okay about what? What’s fresh?” You began to feel yourself tremble and your heart was racing. You were suddenly having a hard time taking in any new information because it all came crashing down on you at that very moment. The reality of what was going on. You were the last to know about Harry and Ginny. He hadn’t even had the balls to break it off with you first.

You hardly remember leaving Sarah’s apartment after she told you that they’d been dating, and from what she said, rather openly. No one had bothered to talk to you about it. Everyone just assumed you knew.

Of course, you went directly to Harry’s apartment and found Ginny there already. They hadn’t been doing anything bad when you barged in. Ginny was on his couch with a notebook in hand and Harry was on the floor with a guitar in his arms.

He looked up at you from his spot on the floor and it’s like you blacked out. You can’t quite recall what was said but in the end, he wound up telling you the truth. That he’d fallen in love with Ginny and he was going to tell you soon but that he didn’t know how because he didn’t want to hurt you.

After that, you still saw Harry. He was part of your friend group and so it was inevitable that you’d run into him from time to time. After a couple of years, things were fine between you two and you’d met Les. You’d both moved on. Things had changed. And then you moved away with Les and you got pregnant, twice, and now six years later, here you were again looking at the man who once was your everything. He’d broken your heart but you were both so young and dumb back then that it was all but forgotten.

The past was the past, but you could still feel that small clench in your heart at how things had ended with Harry.

More drinks were drunk, snacks were served, and dancing commenced… the night was fun. Les was hilarious. He was an awful dancer but he insisted on taking you to the floor with him. You both laughed and swayed to the music in the crowded spot in the hall designated for dancing.

And as much fun as you were having you couldn’t stop thinking about or catching glimpses of Harry. It appeared he couldn’t get you off his mind either. It was rather flattering in a way. To have him looking at you from across the room. The subtle smiles and nods. You felt really good about keeping your distance, though. Even though at the very end of everything, you and Harry were on good terms and had been friendly, it had been so long. Too long. You felt there was no use in having a chat. Nothing good would come of it. You’d grown apart. Lives took separate paths. Old exes at a wedding had no good reason to catch up when you’d likely never see one another ever again. It was easier to stay away. Better for everyone.

Les ordered another round of whatever he’d been drinking and suddenly wasn’t feeling so hot. You both sat at your table with a couple of the other guests who were still there. Many were dropping like flies, as tends to happen at weddings. Luckily the hotel was connected to the reception hall so getting Les to your room was not that difficult.

You knew you should have stayed with him. Just called it a night and tucked in for your early morning back home to pick up your children. But against your better judgment, you decided on just one more drink.

The band was still playing, slower music than when you’d left. Most of the tables were empty as people mingled and danced slowly. You sat at the bar and searched the room for Harry. You figured he and Ginny had gone to their room, or back home depending on how far away they lived from the venue. It was nearly midnight. The band would wrap up in a half hour and that would be that.

You sighed and turned back to face the bar and sipped your last glass of wine of the night. You’d said your hellos to everyone you wanted to. Except Harry. Deep down you really did want to say hi to him but you knew better. There was something that was telling you to keep your distance and you were glad for it. Maybe it was subconscious or perhaps there were still feelings there after all this time. You knew the truth. But you weren’t ready to admit any of that to yourself.

“Hi, Sunshine.”

You felt a wave of heat and excitement thrum through your bones. It was him. He used to call you Sunshine. Sunny. Used to sing You Are My Sunshine to you every day.

You turned to see Harry taking the chair next to you at the bar, “Hi, Harry.”

You took him in. All of his handsome face. Those pink lips you used to nibble, the nose you used to smush yours into for wispy nose-tip kisses. His intense gaze was just as it had been all those years before. You wanted to reach your fingers out and stretch them over his jawline and feel the stubble on the pads of your fingers. He was so grown up. So unchanged and yet more mature. More handsome in some ways.

He drew his arm along the back of your chair and leaned in close as he spoke to you as if you two were a couple. As if nothing had ever come between you nearly 8 years prior, “You are more beautiful than I even remember, Sunny. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you at least once.”

You hadn’t expected him to let that be his leading comment. The first thing spoken to you in so long. But Harry didn’t follow conventions or rules. He never had. So it shouldn’t have surprised you that his first comment to you was how he thought about you every day. You wondered if that was true. Because there were days you thought about Harry still too. It wasn’t every single day. Some days he didn’t cross your mind at all. But of course, you did often think of him.

“I doubt that, Harry. You’re still big on flattery, I see,” you smiled shyly and peeled your eyes away from his to sip your wine.

When his thigh brushed into yours you could smell his cologne. It was different than what he wore in college. It was more grown up. Smelled expensive. Smelled more like something Harry should wear, “I wrote a song about you not too long ago. Ginny doesn’t know, but it brought back a lot of old memories.”

His voice was soft and deep and the timbre traveled from your ear down to your neck and your bare shoulder. You swallowed thickly and dared to turn to look at him again, knowing he was too close. Knowing what this would look like if anyone were to see you two.

“Where is Ginny?”

Harry’s small grin widened and his eyes sparkled as he looked down at your lips and shook his head, “In our room. She was tired. Just like I imagine Les is in yours.”

You blinked and looked away. You were flying too close to the sun, you knew it. This was dangerous territory and Harry was orchestrating something very wrong. Something you’d only regret. But you weren’t doing anything to stop it. Maybe curiosity had you sticking around. Maybe it was for old time’s sake. Or maybe it was just that you missed him and missed this and missed the way things had been.

You didn’t know how to respond but your body was on fire. Harry’s warm leg was pressed into yours and his large frame practically had you caged in. You loved it.

“Look at me, Sunshine,” he whispered as he softly touched your chin and nudged your face toward his, “There we go. Remember that time we loaded up my old Bronco and drove straight through to San Francisco? Thought we were gonna find an apartment and live like hippies in the big city and just write and paint and make music and that’s how we’d make all our money?”

You laughed and nodded, “I do. But instead, your Bronco broke down in Oakland at 3 am and we had to stay the night in the back of your car and get a tow back home.”

Harry laughed through his nose as he nodded his head, eyes still pinned to yours, “Wish it would have worked out between us. I miss all the fun we used to have. Me and you.”

You opened your mouth to respond but you were stuck. He was laying it on thick. He was never one to beat around the bush. He hadn’t changed. It was part of what drew people to him. His magnetism. His confidence.

“Don’t you miss it, Sunny?” He brushed his knuckle over your wrist and you inhaled sharply. Just the smallest touch had you spiraling. You would have to fight your way out of his trance if you intended on not allowing this to go any further.

You shook your head and looked down at your lap, “I don’t know, Harry.”

“We’d stay up all night making love until the sun came up. Miss classes. Skip out on parties we promised people we’d go to. Just in our own world all the time. It never got boring with you. For years we were like that. It’s never been like that with anyone else. All that passion we had, Sunny. My Sunshine girl. Never.”

You sighed and… yes. You did recall all that passion. And it was true. For nearly four years you and Harry were insatiable. It was like every day was your first date. Your first time. Like you were still getting to know one another after all those years. Sex had never been better. Harry was your best by far. You didn’t like to compare anyone to him but that’s only because it made you miss him. Made you miss the way you felt. Missed that lust and that passion and the vulnerability.

“I know you know what I mean,” Harry slid his hand down to your thigh discretely. No one in the room could see but you knew he was touching you in a way you hadn’t felt in so long. In a way that was only reserved for your husband. Felt that familiar, big palm spread over the expanse of your soft thigh, his thumb lightly grazing the bottom hem of your dress.

“Harry…” you breathed his name in warning.

“My Sunshine, girl,” he spoke the pet name back to you without an ounce of teasing. He was perfectly clear in what he wanted. And even though he hadn’t said it outright, there was no denying it.

“I’m married.” You reasoned weakly as you let your gaze rove his features and drop to his plush lips.

“So am I.” He squeezed your thigh and your limbs were on fire. You didn’t know how to escape the moment. You didn’t know if you wanted to. He was “the one who got away”. Even though everything hurt when it happened and he’d done you wrong, you’d long ago forgiven him and now it was just two old lovers feeling that same heat and desire they once felt. Some things from the past could be forgotten. But the way things felt between you, that constant spark, the wild lust every single day for all those years would never be forgotten.

You still dreamed about him. Would wake up hot and panting and roll over to see Les fast asleep with his face tucked into his pillow and you’d close your eyes and remember the time… Remember his voice and his hands and the way he made you feel. How free and exciting life was with Harry.

And it was all coming back to you in an insane, surreal, mind-bending rush. Everything about him was the same as it was before you graduated college. Before he fell for Ginny. Before you two grew apart and you got married and moved away. You could almost taste the skin on his hips near his laurel tattoos. Could smell the scent of his sex mixed with yours. Could hear the laughs and the moans and neighbors beating on the wall telling you to keep it down. Could feel the way you loved him once upon a time, the way he loved you so deeply it scared you. Loved you so much you never could imagine that he’d ever love another.

“You’ve lost your fucking mind,” you whispered with a grin.

He shook his head, “I’ve never been more clear-headed in my life.”

You licked your lips and closed your eyes. Every time you thought you’d wake up from the dream you felt him move against you, felt his fingers on your skin and you were continuously dropped down into your seat at the bar at your friend’s wedding with your ex at your side and his words snaking into your ears.

The only thought that kept you grounded was knowing that there was nowhere for him to take you that was private. Because that had already, obviously, crossed your mind. To have another taste. One last time just for old-time’s sake. But it seemed impossible. It seemed ridiculous to even entertain. And yet there you were.

“Remember that small room with the table and chair on the second floor of the library we used to go to? Had a lock,” Harry’s warm hand stayed on your thigh as he spoke.

You did remember that. You found a room in the 2nd-floor corridor that connected to a small hallway off the library. The hallway had four doors. They were all locked but one of them just so happened to unlock if you lifted the knob upward and jiggled it just right. The room was bare of furniture except a small wooden table pushed against the wall and a fabric swivel chair with wheels. Both of which you learned to make good use of. It wasn’t hard to find a use for random surfaces with Harry back then.

Nodding and squinting your eyes at the man you spoke, “Of course I do.”

“I want to get you alone in a room again,” he lowered his voice and leaned in so that his voice was close and the front of his shoulder was pressed into the back of yours, “Just one more time. Something just for you and me, Sunny. I miss you.”

You couldn’t believe the way he’d gotten you worked up in almost no time. The way you still reacted to him and the need crawling up your spine made you dizzy.

“There’s no place to go here, Harry. No free room. We can’t anyway… you know we can’t,” you looked at his face and held your breath. You couldn’t do this. It was wrong.

“We can find something. A hidden spot where no one will ever know.”

You looked away from his fierce gaze and down at your glass. You swallowed thickly and shook your head as you reluctantly pulled yourself from his side and stepped off the stool, “Harry. We can’t. I have kids. My husband is… I love him. I don’t love you anymore. I could never forgive myself.”

He clenched his jaw as he nodded, “No one would know.” He looked at you with pleading eyes. You could tell he knew this wasn’t going to happen.

“I would know,” you dropped some cash on the bar and looked back at Harry as you squeezed his shoulder, “But it does feel good to know that you regret replacing me with someone else even after all this time.”

As you walked away you took a deep breath and smiled to yourself. You could have said yes. Could have found yourself in some room or bathroom stall with him getting exactly what you knew he could deliver. But you didn’t regret saying no. You didn’t regret walking away from him. It felt good to have the upper hand. Something you had no idea that you’d had all along. The man who you thought you’d lost really turned out to be the man who’d lost you.

Find the other version with the alternative ending here on my Patreon!

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[freedomfireflies]

Pillow Talk*

Summary: The one where you and Harry both have insomnia, and decide to spend one very strange night together.

Word Count: 7.2k

Content Warning: 18+, smut, daddy kink, mentions of drugs, angst (w/ happy ending!), not suitable for Ramadan!

“Oh, absolutely not.”

“Come on. Just one time.”

“No. Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“Probably. I haven’t slept in 32 hours.”

You huff as you hide yourself behind your door. You don’t even want to see him. Because you don’t want to have this conversation or entertain this idiotic idea. This is what Harry does. He plays games. He tricks and he ruins and if you open this door, you know you’ll regret it. 

“Poppy, please,” he calls, and you hear his forehead land on the wood as though to brace himself. “I’ve tried everything else, okay? It always works with you. I just…I wanted to try. See if it still does.”

You frown. “You realize how wildly inappropriate this is, right? Asking if you can come in just so we can sleep together?”

“Yeah, but that’s all I want to do. Sleep,” he insists again. “Really. I’ll keep my hands to myself and I won’t even talk to you.”

You consider this. Truthfully, you haven’t slept all that well since the breakup, either. And sure, you’ve longed for the nights when the two of you would fall into such an easy, simple, and incredibly effective routine. 

But he broke your heart. And now you’re both paying the price.

“Just one night,” he pleads again. “And if it doesn’t work, I swear I won’t bother you ever again.”

There’s a subtle ache in your chest. Just hearing his voice reminds you of the pain. Of the joy. Of every good moment and every bad one, all wrapped up in the same silky cadence.

You take a deep breath. Perhaps you’re curious, too. Even if you don’t want to be. Because maybe this will work. Maybe you’ll finally be able to rest and get on with your life.

Or maybe it won’t.

But at least if it doesn’t, maybe you can find some closure.

So, with that thought…you open the door. 

He looks worse than you’ve ever seen him. Which makes you just a touch happy if you’re being honest with yourself. His usual curls are askew and unkept. The bags under his eyes are dark and his clothes are wildly wrinkled.

And you’re surprised. He’s been up for longer than 32 hours before and handled it much better. You wonder if his age is catching up with him or if there’s something else keeping him awake.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

But you don’t fight with him. He’s not here to fight and you accept his terms as you widen the door and allow him to step inside.

He nods gratefully as he slips into your living room, but his eyes linger on your face. Almost like he doesn’t recognize you, and it makes your insides turn as you shut the door and put a few feet between you.

“What?” you huff.

He shakes his head. “I don’t know, you look…different.”

“Okay…?”

“You changed your hair.”

“Yeah.”

“Hm. It’s nice.”

You cross your arms. “Thanks.”

“Sure.”

Another pause, and the silence feels heavy.

“Well…do you wanna…?” you eventually say, and he nods.

“Right, yeah.”

“Okay.”

You turn to lead him to your room and it’s…unsettling how normal it feels. Like an old habit rearing its ugly head once again.

When you get there, his surprise returns. “You changed your room, too.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Why?”

Your eyes roll as you angrily toss your blankets back. “This is the one room I associated with you the most. And short of moving, I needed something you hadn’t touched or tainted. So I made the room mine again.”

He thinks about this, attention lingering on the new paint on the walls and the new furniture in each corner. “I like it.”

“I don’t care.”

He smiles. “I know.”

“Great. Can you get in the bed please so we can get this over with?”

Obliging, he slips off his shoes and joins you under the duvet. “Never thought I’d hear you say that again.”

“Never thought I’d have to say it.”

“Mm. You changed your mattress.”

“Obviously.”

“And the sheets and blankets, too.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Is there anything in here you didn’t change?”

“The carpet. But only because my landlord said I couldn’t.”

“Right.” He’s smiling again. “But you did get a rug.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s nice.”

“Bite me.”

He laughs now and you want to smack him. “I see you still get grumpy when you’re tired.”

“No, I get grumpy when my asshole of an ex shows up to my apartment at 3 in the morning demanding to be let in so he can sleep in my bed with me like a fucking child,” you argue. And you know you’re being snippy and maybe even rude, but he deserves it. After everything he’s put you through, you deserve to be in charge of your own emotions. 

You turn the lamp off and the dark room grows incredibly quiet. You’re both stiff, unable to relax when you’re this close. You don’t want to touch—not the way you used to. And you don’t want to be close or let your guard down, although you suppose you’ll have to in order to sleep.

And then he says, “I really did try, you know. To find another way to sleep.”

You look up at the ceiling and release a soft exhale. “Okay.”

“Melatonin, light therapy, cut out coffee. Even drank those…sleep mocktail things everyone talks about.” He shifts. “I don’t know, I guess my brain just wouldn’t turn off.”

“Yeah. I know.”

More quiet.

“I haven’t done any since we broke up,” he finally says. Gentle, like he’s afraid to break the silence. 

Your lashes flutter. He doesn’t have to say it for you to know what he means. “Great.”

“Yeah.” Another beat. “I thought it was work, I guess. Maybe the stress or something. I’ve been sleeping fine, but these past couple weeks…”

“Right.”

“And I just figured—”

“No, I got it. It’s fine, let’s just…let’s just try to sleep,” you say and he nods.

The bedroom settles and you try, you really do. But you can’t when he’s breathing so goddamn loud and shifting every two seconds and sighing like he’s in pain.

“What?” you eventually hiss.

“Are you dating someone?” he asks.

“What?”

“Are you dating someone?” he repeats. “Josie said you were.”

You hesitate. “I don’t know. Kind of. I guess.”

“You guess?”

“We’re…we’ve been on a few dates. It’s not official.”

“He hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend?”

“Why does it matter?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t. I just figure you deserve someone that actually wants to date you.”

“Oh, do I?” You roll your head to look at him. “Funny, you didn’t seem to think so when you were dating me.”

“All right, touché,” he mumbles. “I could have been better, I know that. And I know I took advantage. You did a lot for me and I didn’t…I didn’t care.”

Surprised, you twist your fingers together. “Uh…yeah. Right. Thank you.”

His head rolls, too. And even with the dim-light, his eyes find yours. “I’m sorry, Poppy. You really did deserve better than me. And if you found it with this guy…I’ll be happy for you.”

You swallow before sighing to yourself. “I mean, I don’t know if I did. He’s…he’s really nice. But he’s so…he’s just…”

“Vanilla?”

Your eyes widen. “Yeah. How did you—”

“He was wearing Crocs with tube socks.”

You laugh—loud. “Oh my god, how did you know?”

“I might have looked him up,” he admits through a grin. “Wanted to make sure he was worth your time.”

“Yeah? And?”

“And he wears Crocs with tube socks. He can’t make you cum.”

Your features scrunch together as you gasp and look away. “Ew, Harry. It’s not about that—”

“It’s always about that. Come on, am I wrong?”

“You—yes. What he wears has nothing to do with what he’s like in bed—”

“So he’s not vanilla?”

“He’s…” You pause. “He…look, he really tries—”

“So, he is,” Harry finishes for you. “Well, at least you got some.”

“I…yeah. Uh-huh.”

Instantly, he turns onto his side, head resting in the palm of his hand as he studies you. “He couldn’t get it up, could he?”

“Harry,” you groan, and reach out to swat him. “Stop, it wasn’t that. We just…we were taking things slow. We did some stuff. Just not…all of it.”

“So what he’d do?”

“Harry—”

“Come on, we’re adults, just tell me.”

“Ew, no—”

“Listen, you used to get fucked good. I’m just trying to help you get back to that.”

You frown but do oblige. “I don’t know. He ate me out and I blew him. That’s it.”

“And…?”

“And…I don’t know. He was fine. He was good.”

“Sure.”

Your eyes roll. “Okay, he…he wasn’t really all that into it. He stopped after a few seconds and asked if I came. Then he said his jaw was tired and that maybe we should just switch.”

Now, Harry’s features scrunch, too. “Shit. What a fucking pussy. Ironically.”

“I guess. It could have been worse.”

“Really? Eating you out was always my favorite. What kind of asshole just stops if he doesn’t have to?”

You feel a rush of heat through your body as you look away. “I guess they can’t all be you.”

“Damn fucking right,” he scoffs. “Seriously, you still wanted to see him after that?”

“He’s cute,” you argue. “And nice. And yeah, maybe he’s not that adventurous but that’s okay. I don’t need wild sex all the time.”

He’s quiet. “How about just one time?”

You turn back. “What?”

“I—okay, I was just thinking…you know, one of the things we would do when we couldn’t sleep was…fuck, so—”

“Oh, absolutely not.” You sit up, as though to put some distance between you. “No. Forget it—”

“Poppy—”

“Don’t call me that,” you huff. “You don’t get to call me that ever again. Okay, I’m not gonna fuck you just so we can sleep—”

“It wouldn’t be just for that,” he argues, sitting up as well. “It would also help your mood, too—”

“Oh, my mood?” You glare at him. “My mood is just fine, actually. In fact, I’d say it’s pretty good if I agreed to let you in my apartment in the first place—”

“You didn’t have to. I’m just saying, if sex with him is gonna be bland, might as well get in one last good fuck before you commit to a lifetime of boring—”

“Oh, my god. It’s not a lifetime and you’re a fucking asshole—”

“Yeah. We’ve established that. Doesn’t change the fact that you need it.”

You stare at him. “Is that why you’re really here? To trick me into sleeping with you?”

He leans back. “What? No. I don’t trick people into having sex, it was just a suggestion—”

“Yeah, a pretty dumb one. Did you honestly think I’d say yes?”

“Yeah,” he admits haughtily. “Yeah, because we didn’t break up over the sex. We broke up because you’re an uptight—”

“What? Say it,” you sneer. “Say it. I’m an uptight bitch because I wouldn’t let you do cocaine.”

He scoffs again and looks off into the dark of your room. The argument lulls. “I could never do anything right.”

“That wasn’t the problem and you know it.” You pull your legs to your chest. “I wanted to move forward and you kept going back. You’re almost 30 and you still act like you’re 19.”

“Maybe I didn’t want to get married and do the whole white picket fence life,” he says. “Maybe I liked things the way they were—”

“No. No, you liked parties with your friends and doing drugs that kept you up for hours  and getting fired and leaving me to pay all the bills—”

“You didn’t pay all the bills and I told you I would do what I could to help—”

“Yeah. But apparently that included getting fucked up and staying out all night just to crash the next day.” You study him closely. “You were never around anymore. I never saw you. We were on two different paths and the only time we ever talked was when you asked if I wanted to fuck.”

“So, that’s it, huh? I’m just a villain in your story. You were this perfect fucking princess, and I was a monster that ruined your life?”

“No, obviously not. I wasn’t perfect. I know that.”

“Do you?” His eyes flick between yours. “You didn’t want me to move forward with you. You liked your new job and your new friends because they didn’t remind you of me. Of who we both used to be.”

“So? I’m not proud of what I used to do. And sure, maybe I wanted to make a better impression on the people paying my salary and keeping me employed. Is that such a fucking crime?”

“No. But you didn’t want me to be a part of that impression and you know it.”

“Right. Because you were shit-faced all the time.”

He opens his mouth, ready to retort. But then he closes it. He closes it and he stares at you and then…he surges forward.

Even if you were given at least two seconds to prepare, you’re not prepared for the way his hands feel on your cheeks as he kisses you. As he presses his lips to yours and steals the labored breaths in your lungs.

But you don’t fight him. You know you should. Know you should push him off and berate him. Yet you let him kiss you. And you kiss him back. And it’s far too easy to slip back into this routine as his tongue slides against yours in such a teasing way.

Your stomach flips while your hands land on his lap. You’re desperate to be closer, to feel his body against yours. His skin, and the way it melts beneath your palms like butter. You dance this devious dance and before you know it, you’re stripping each other of the few clothes you have.

He starts with your shirt. Ripping it over your head before his mouth lands on your chest. Bare and beautiful to him. His kisses are wet and sloppy and you arch yourself closer as you drag your fingers down his scalp.

The only reason he stops is to let you peel his t-shirt off, too. And then his jeans and socks. And you move so fluidly, you’re nearly naked in under a minute. The only thing left between you now his underwear and yours.

He lays you down, gentle. Surprisingly gentle, given the anger that brought you here. And he gazes at you in a soft, unspoken way that says everything you don’t exactly know how to say. 

His fingers brush down your cheek as his body settles atop yours. He still fits between your legs like he was always meant to and the weight of him almost feels good.

“Are you all right?” he finally whispers, and he doesn’t sound like the same man from before. He sounds like the man you fell in love with. “Is this okay?”

You nod quickly, scared that if you think about it, you’ll ruin it. “Yeah. Go.”

He doesn’t. “We don’t have to,” he says. “You were right, it’s probably a dumb idea—”

“Yeah, but…it always works.” You shift beneath him and reach for his briefs, rolling them down his hips. “And I’m tired. Tired of fighting with you, tired of not getting any sleep…tired of pretending I hate you. You were right, our sex is good. So let’s do it. And then we can sleep. And we can finally move on.”

Not the most romantic of speeches, but it works. At least right now. He kisses you again and drags your underwear aside in order to tease you with the tip of his cock.

He feels like you remember. And maybe you find just a touch of comfort in that. There are no awkward pauses or confusion about what to do next. You don’t have to find your rhythm or anticipate the next step. You know him. And he knows you.

Your rub your clit in order to stimulate yourself. You aren’t exactly wet enough for this to be enjoyable, but you don’t expect him to do what he did before. The foreplay is up to you now and you’re more than all right with that.

However, he’s not. And he instantly swats your hand away in order to do it himself. Allowing his fingers to drag up and down your pussy until you shiver before he slips the tip of his middle finger inside.

“Shit,” he whispers. His forehead drops to yours. “Fucking missed this.”

You bite the inside of your lip to keep from grinning. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He starts to pump, bending your body to his salacious intentions until the unmistakable sound of wetness echoes throughout the room. “I know you missed it, too.”

“Hm. Don’t push it.”

“Why not?” He presses a kiss to your cheek. Then to your jaw. Your lips. Your nose. Your neck. Everywhere you used to love. “Are you really gonna tell me you didn’t?” 

“Maybe.”

“So Crocs with Tube Socks is better, huh?”

“…not exactly.”

“Right.” He adds a second finger and your eyes roll back. “Don’t worry, Poppy, I’ll fix it.”

“Don’t…call me that,” you pant again, and he chuckles.

“Don’t know what else to call you. You were always my pretty Poppy.”

“But now I’m not,” you say. “Now you call me nothing. Because I’m not yours to call.”

He sighs but does seem to obey, at least for now. And the faster he thrusts his hand, the needier this growing feeling becomes. Stronger and louder until you finally grab onto his shoulders and say, “Just put it in already.”

He smirks. “How romantic.”

“It’s not supposed to be. Just come on.”

So, he does. He takes hold of his cock and he slips it through the gathering arousal until he can push in. And you both reel.

Truthfully, you’ve missed the sounds he makes when he’s turned on. The way he groans and grits his teeth together. The way the muscles in his arms strain until you can see those beautiful veins you used to love to run your tongue over. 

He’s stunning. Even now, in the soft light of the moon through your curtains. His silhouette is unholy as it hovers above you. Strong hips beginning to thrust as you both work in tandem to find release.

And it’s closer than you expected. There’s something about him that can get you there even without much effort. Something Crocs with Tube Socks could never seem to figure out. 

Because he’s not Harry. And only Harry can play you like an instrument and make such symphonic music all with the flick of his finger and a thrust of his cock.

He kisses you again and you both feel anxious. Soft murmurings of praise and, “Keep going,” that have you arching from the bed and moaning into his mouth.

You’re sweating and gasping for air and clutching onto his back as you attempt to meet his rhythm with rolls of your own. You need this. You need to cum so you can find release and you need to cum so you can finally sleep and you need to cum because then you’ll finally be able to let him go. To close the door on the chapter of you and Harry and move the fuck on.

But how can you move on when you’re still under him? How can you insist that you’re fine and doing great if you’re so easily convinced to fuck him just so you can both get some sleep?

There are other remedies to insomnia that don’t involve his cock and maybe you should have tried that before you let him into your apartment. 

Either way, you’re coming before you can think twice about it. Raking your nails down his back and whimpering his name as he pulls out and finishes on your thigh. 

And just like that…

It’s over.

You find him in the kitchen about an hour later. You managed to sleep at least a few minutes before you felt the sadistic hand of insomnia pull you back out. But when you woke, Harry was gone. His clothes were still on the floor, so you knew he hadn’t left. But he wasn’t with you.

He’s staring out your kitchen window when you slip into the living room. You’re not sure if he hears you or not but if he does, he doesn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he keeps himself braced against the sink, clad in nothing more than his briefs.

Curious, you call, “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head. Silent. Contemplative. “I used to love this window,” he eventually says. Soft, like he’s reminiscing. “The way the light looked in the morning. The way your little crystals would put rainbows on the wall and you’d get so excited. How you’d make me dance with you to some Elton John song while we were literally in the middle of cooking.”

You blink. “Um…okay.”

He turns and his eyes find yours. “I fucking loved this apartment. And this kitchen. And that couch. And your room. And even the hallway. I loved being here, all the time. I hated going back to my place because it never felt the same.”

The silence grows louder now as you look down at your feet and pull your robe just a bit tighter. “I know,” you finally whisper. “That’s why I changed it.”

“I know,” he whispers back. His expression falls. “You changed everything. This apartment, your life…us.”

“Because I had to,” you argue, glancing back up. “I had to, Harry. I couldn’t keep going in circles. I couldn’t drag you along behind me into the future when you clearly wanted to be anywhere else.” 

“Because the future you always painted didn’t seem to have room for me,” he huffs. “Okay, with all these dinner parties and fancy houses and good school districts. You’d planned out the next 30 years and I didn’t see myself anywhere in your picture.”

“I didn’t fucking care about the parties or the school districts,” you nearly yell. “God, I—I didn’t want the white picket fence life. I didn’t want the 1950’s American Dream shit you keep thinking I did. I just wanted you. Yes, I wanted a good job with insurance and stability. But I wasn’t gonna trade what we had just for that—”

“But you did. You didn’t tell your parents we’d moved in together. You didn’t even tell half of our friends. You went on trips without me and you stopped telling me about your day and we never talked—”

“Because you were never around! You were either out with your friends getting drunk or high or you were in there playing video games because you’d had a ‘hard day.’ So, no. I didn’t want to talk to you when I knew you weren’t even listening in the first place.”

 He leans against the counter and crosses his arms. Angry. Indignant. “You resented me. You resented the fact that we were together and you resented that I wasn’t perfect like your precious new friends—”

“Oh, that’s—” You pinch the bridge of your nose and force in a deep breath. “No. I didn’t want you to be like them. I didn’t want you to act pretentious and stuffy and talk about the stock market every goddamn second of the day. The only thing I resented…was the fact that you wouldn’t take care of yourself.”

“I was taking care of myself—”

“Bullshit. You were doing drugs—you were doing cocaine—and you weren’t eating, you weren’t sleeping, you nearly drunk yourself to death—”

“Right, but I wasn’t doing it all the time. It was just…it was occasionally, and it wasn’t a lot—”

“I don’t care. You shouldn’t have been doing it at all, Harry,” you finally shout. “You…you scared the shit out of me. Every time one of your friends would call and say you were passed out, I thought…I thought this was it. I thought I was gonna lose you. Do you know how many times I just sat on the floor and cried because I was so scared? Because you never wanted to listen when I told you to stop? Because you were so sure you were invincible?”

He seems pained by this, features wilting as he takes a tentative step forward. But he stops when you move back. “Poppy, I wasn’t trying to scare you, I…I didn’t know—”

“Yes, you did,” you scoff. “I told you, over and over that I didn’t want to lose you, but you thought I was being dramatic.”

He nods once. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

“Yeah. I am.” He looks at you. “S’why I stopped after we broke up. You were right, I needed to get my shit together.”

You nod, too. “Good. I’m glad.”

His gaze dances around the kitchen. “I hate that you changed everything,” he says again, and your heart wrenches. “I hate that it doesn’t look like it used to. I hate that I hurt you so bad that you felt like you had to erase everything I ever touched.”

You step closer and wipe a tear from your cheek. “Yeah, I hate it, too. I hate that I had to. I hate that stupid mattress and I hate that my kitchen doesn’t look like a rainbow anymore and I really fucking hate that I have no one to dance with when I cook.”

His eyes soften as they find yours and in only a few seconds, he’s reaching for the belt on your robe and tugging you to him. Wrapping you in his arms as he presses you against his chest, the way he always used to when you were sad.

“No,” you argue weakly, although you do nothing to stop him. “No, you can’t…you can’t—”

“Yes, I can,” he retorts quietly. You feel his lips press to the top of your head. “You don’t get to cry over me anymore. You’re better than that now. You did what I couldn’t. You moved on. And I don’t get to ruin that for you.”

You sniffle as you run your hand down his stomach. “It wasn’t about moving on. I just needed to learn how to be strong enough for both of us.”

“Poppy,” he breathes and holds you tighter. “You shouldn’t have to be.”

And deep down…you know he’s right.

“Shit, just like that…a little closer. Good girl, hold yourself open for me, baby. Yeah.”

Doing your best to oblige, you slip your fingers between your folds as Harry nudges his nose closer. Kissing his way along your thighs before allowing his tongue to lick a very generous stripe up your pussy.

Round 2 is on the couch. Harry wanted the kitchen counter—nearly insisted on it, in fact—but you knew you didn’t want to ruin your favorite breakfast spot. And you weren’t about to just for him.

So, the couch it was. He complained about it as you got settled. He hates this new couch, too. The color, the lumpy cushions, the way it feels like you’re sinking when you sit. 

You told him you didn’t care. You loved it and if it annoyed him, that was a bonus.

Thankfully, he swallowed his complaints in favor of swallowing you. He tossed your robe open and pulled your thighs apart. And then he buried himself between the warmth of your pussy the way he always used to.

And you decided that maybe you don’t mind insomnia so much if this is the remedy.

“Missed this, too,” he says now as he nips at your clit. “God, you’ve always tasted so fucking good. S’fucking crazy, baby. Can’t ever get enough.”

“Sure,” you snort, head dropping back. “I’m sure you say that to all the girls—”

“No.” He shakes his head and his nose nudges the sensitive nerves as you whine. “No, there’s no other girls. Come on, did you really think there could be?”

“With a mouth like that? Yeah,” you admit. He laughs. “That’s how we met. You were such—fuck—such a player.”

“Maybe,” he concedes before mouthing at you again. “But nobody else has ever made me feel the way you do.”

You snort. “Where’d you learn that line?”

“It’s not a line. It’s the truth.”

“Harry. Come on. I know you.”

“Then you should know I don’t say shit I don’t mean.” He smooths his palms down your thighs in order to spread you just a bit further and see the way your hole flutters. “Oh, pretty girl. S’just drenched, hm? All sensitive from the last one…need Daddy to make it better?”

You scrunch your nose. “You don’t get to call yourself that anymore.”

“No?” He grins. “Why not?”

“Because I hate you and Daddy is reserved for someone I like.”

He tsks. “I don’t know, kind of seems like you still like it. Keep clenching around my tongue like you wanna hear me say it again.”

You hesitate as you weave your fingers through his curls. “Never.”

He hums and the vibration against your cunt makes your thighs twitch. “Come on, baby. Don’t be mean to Daddy.”

You want to glare. Slap at him, refuse him. But he’s right—you have missed the moniker. If only just because of how good he sounds when he says it. So, you let him tease you and taunt you as he tastes you. You let him do whatever the hell he wants because your second orgasm feels stronger than the first and you don’t imagine you’ll survive this one. 

He slips a finger in as well. Beckons your pleasure closer with every curl of the large digit. It’s practiced. He sucks and licks and nips and thrusts and curls and pumps all at the same time.

Then, he pulls back and brings his palm down in a sharp smack to your pussy. 

“Stop squirming,” he instructs, then shoots you an obviously pleased frown. “Don’t be a brat.”

“M’not,” you whimper. “Not a brat…just wanna cum.”

“Do you, hm?” He licks you again then adds two fingers. “Should I let you?”

“Obviously.”

“Obviously?” He’s smirking now as he starts to go faster. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you do deserve it. Yeah? After being so nice as to let me in.”

You pout. “Mhm.”

He’s so happy. He’s always his happiest when he’s suffocating himself with your pussy. He does everything he knows you love. He leaves teasing kisses to the inside of your thighs. He slaps at your leg, your clit, your hip. He helps rock you against his tongue and even lifts you from the couch to find a deeper angle. 

And he does all of this out of sheer enjoyment. 

“Harry,” you whimper as you melt into the cushions. Your limbs feel like jello. The pleasure is everywhere, and he looks like a god. His face is covered in you, glistening about as bright as the stars.

“I know, Poppy,” he says. He kisses your pussy and then smiles at you. “I know.”

You like the way Harry’s chest feels. Warm and soft and painted in the tattoos you used to trace with your finger.

He’s gently scratching your back as you both lay in bed. The room is quiet—you haven’t spoken in minutes. Still, neither of you can seem to find sleep and you know you’ll desperately need it soon. 

But this is nice. Even if it is the last time. You like getting to reminisce—pretend for even a moment that things are the way they used to be. When you were happy and safe and content to be together.

You weren’t sure you’d ever feel this kind of peace again.

“I missed you, too, you know,” he whispers after a moment.

You glance up. 

“I didn’t just miss your apartment. I missed you.” He takes a breath and runs his palm along your spine. “I miss our Sunday mornings and I miss when we’d watch scary movies just so we could make out and I miss the way you used to dance around in your underwear to some stupid musical you were obsessed with.”

You swallow a lump in your throat. “Har…”

“And I don’t know what happened,” he says. “I felt like…I felt like I was watching you do all these amazing things and I just couldn’t keep up. You were getting promoted and moving up and I was still at the fucking bar serving drinks. And you knew what you wanted to do. I didn’t.”

“I didn’t know,” you argue gently. “Not really. I hate my job. I hate that I don’t enjoy it the way I used to. I mean, I like that it pays the bills, but maybe that shouldn’t be enough.”

He presses his cheek to the top of your head. “You should do what makes you happy.”

“You used to make me happy.”

The soft strokes against your spine slow. 

“You did, Har,” you tell him. “So happy. That’s why I hated that we started fighting all of the time. I hated that you were gone or that I was gone or the fact that I was too ashamed to tell you that I missed you. And that I was scared we were losing each other.”

“Maybe we needed to lose each other,” he says and you feel sick. “Maybe we needed to be apart to see what we really wanted.”

You think about this. The idea sounds nice. Inviting. A happy end to a rather dreadful story.

But you both know better. Five months has taught you better.

“There’s a reason we broke up,” you finally murmur. “We didn’t…we didn’t like each other anymore. We were holding each other back—”

“I liked you,” he says softly. “I loved you. Yeah, I was mad, but I didn’t just stop loving you.” 

“Maybe you should have. Maybe it would have been easier for us and we wouldn’t be…here.”

More silence. It stretches for what feels like hours.

And then, “I can’t sleep because of you.”

You suck in a quiet breath. “What?”

“When Josie told me that you were seeing someone, I couldn’t…I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And she showed me a picture she took of you guys and you were so happy. Smiling at him like you used to smile at me and I just…I didn’t know what to do.”

Another pause. You don’t know what to say.

“I put my fist through a wall,” he tells you. “And somehow, that still didn’t hurt as much as knowing you’d moved on.”

You snake your arm around his middle and snuggle closer. “Harry, you knew we both had to move on eventually.”

“Did we?”

“Harry…”

“But so soon? It’s only been five months.”

“Yeah. Five months to grieve you and cry over you and realize I did this for you.” You close your eyes. Tight. “We’re better people now.”

“No, we’re tired people now,” he teases, and you smile. “And I think I’ll be losing sleep over you for the rest of my life.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I mean it. I’m always gonna think about you. Think about what I did wrong. What I could have done better.”

“I fucked up, too,” you argue. “I should have told my parents. And our friends. I should have talked to you more, asked you to do more things together. You’re right, I was ashamed of you. Of this…routine we’d fallen into. And I’m sorry.”

He says nothing. After all, there’s nothing more to say.

But he kisses the crown of your head and it speaks louder than any words.

“Fuck…fuck, Poppy, please—”

You grin as you lick your lips. He’s always sounded the most beautiful when he’s begging. And his best begging always tends to happen when his cock is down your throat. 

“What, Daddy?” you ask innocently. “What do you need me to do?”

His eyes roll back and he grips the sheets in his fist. “Please…”

You reposition yourself over his legs as you dip back down to have another taste. You lick and you suck and you stroke until he’s making another strained noise that sounds like sex.

You hope your neighbors can hear. You bet they missed him.

“Good boy,” you purr, squeezing his thighs as you take him even further. 

He sucks in a sharp breath through gritted teeth before his hand finds your hair and he squeezes. “Easy…easy, baby. S’been a while. Don’t hurt yourself—”

You respond to his instruction by inhaling through your nose and relaxing the muscles in your throat. Allowing him to hit the back the way he always used to.

His head drops into the pillows. “Shit—Poppy, I mean it. M’not gonna fuck your throat. It’s gonna hurt and I don’t wanna hurt you anymore.”

It’s an oddly thoughtful gesture but it does nothing for you now. Instead, you shake your head and pull off, a string of saliva dripping down his cock in your wake. “I’m fine, H. Trust me, I can take it.”

“Yeah?” He pushes up onto his elbows. “Is Crocs with Tube Socks hung or something?”

You grin. “No. But that dildo you got me last year is.”

He blinks. “You…fucking hell, you fuck your throat with that?”

“Mhm.” You swirl your tongue around his tip as he curses. “And then I fuck myself. And I pretend it’s you.”

He tightens his hold on your hair and forces your eyes back to his. “Are you serious?”

You nod, now feeling a touch shy as you wipe your mouth with your knuckles. “Yeah…I know that’s…probably weird, but…I mean, you got it for me, so I thought I’d be weirder to think about someone else—”

“No, it’s…” He stops. Struggles. “Shit, I really needed to hear that.”

“Oh, you did, huh?” 

“Yeah. I wouldn’t want you to think about anyone else when you used it, either. It’s got my fucking initials on it.”

You laugh, louder than you mean to and it makes him grin. “Yeah, it does, doesn’t it? It was a pretty good gift, I’ll admit.”

“S’a fucking perfect gift,” he retorts. “We had a lot of fun with that dildo.”

“We did indeed.”

“But apparently not as much fun as you’re having with it.”

“Fucking myself helps me sleep,” you remind him. “So sometimes it’s necessity.”

“Is that right?” 

“Mhm.” You squeeze the base and he twitches. “You used to watch me. Remember?”

“I do.” His eyes get darker. “Do you fuck yourself a lot?”

“…these days, yeah. Apparently, I can’t sleep all that well, either.”

“And does it work?”

“Most of the time, yeah.” You turn your attention back to his cock in order to avoid his curiosity before you quietly admit, “Sometimes I pretend you’re here. Sleeping next to me. And…that helps, too.”

He reaches for your wrist and pulls your attention back. “Poppy—”

“No, don’t look at me like that, it’s dumb—”

“I imagine you, too.”

You blink. “You do?”

“Every night. Except the past couple weeks. Cause now I just think about you and him. And then I can’t fucking sleep.”

You turn your hand so your fingers brush through his. “Shit. We’re a mess.”

He smiles. “Yeah.”

The conversation falls away as you dip back down to resume your work. Squeezing his balls, moaning as you take him on your tongue, and milking him for every last drop. 

Turns out, you missed the taste of him, too.

Morning comes before either of you find a moment of rest. But you can feel yourself growing tired. Your eyelids are beginning to droop, and your body feels incredibly spent. 

Turns out, round 4 is where the magic happened. He brought out your favorite vibrator and teased your poor, swollen clit with it until you squirted. It was easy and quick and he seemed rather delighted to be bathed in you.

Until, of course, you insist on an actual bath to clean you both.

The shower felt good. The warm water washing away the sticky sweat on your skin. And the two of you fell back into a similar routine. He ran the soap down your arms and you washed his curls with your favorite shampoo. A shampoo he claimed he looked everywhere for after you broke up but could never find.

He said he missed the smell. The way it made his hair so soft. And the way it would make his pillowcase smell just like you.

You were grateful that the shower hid your tears.

You both crashed on the couch after you had dried off. The sheets still needed to be cleaned and neither of you could be bothered. But, as it turned out, the couch was growing on him. And he begrudgingly admitted it was rather comfy as the two of you curled up in your usual spot. 

You know you’re both close to sleep. Finally, after all your efforts to get here. But you also know that once you wake up, Harry will leave. 

And there’s a chance you won’t see him again.

You know that nothing has changed. The two of you still want different things, even if you want each other. And you hate that that’s not enough. That what you want and what you should want don’t align.

Instead, he’ll move on with his life and you’ll move on with yours.

But you don’t want to learn how to fall asleep without him.

“Make me a deal,” you whisper.

He hums. Lashes shut tight as the morning light slips in through the window. “What?”

“If I wake up, and you’re still here…we do this again. Not…as a couple. But as two broken humans that find rest with each other.”

His eyes open.

“But if you’re gone,” you continue, “then we don’t. We don’t do it again, we don’t see each other again, we don’t reach out again. We cut ties. Officially. Block and move on. For real.”

He seems saddened by this, and you hate that you’ve made him sad. But you both know it’s for the best. This won’t be sustainable in the long run. And maybe it’s a bad idea to continue at all, but maybe you want to hold on to him anyway. At least for a little while.

Even if it’s just as friends.

Exes.

Two broken humans that used to make each other whole.

His lips press together and he nods once. “Deal,” he agrees, and you can tell by the look on his face, he’s already made a decision.

You aren’t sure which way, but you suppose you’ll find out soon enough. So, you allow your eyes to fall shut and your dreams to take hold. Melting into his arms and into the sofa as you finally find sleep quicker than you have in months.

You’re not sure how long you’re out. It feels like hours. A heavy slumber that leaves you rather refreshed as your eyes eventually flutter open. 

You don’t see Harry as you slowly adjust to your surroundings. And you don’t feel him, either. But you’re too afraid to really look. To sit up and realize that he’s gone. For good.

And then, just when you think you’ve lost him…you hear the most beautiful sound in the world.

“Good morning, Poppy.”

Taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter @straightontilmornin @justlemmeadoreyou @harrysdaydreams @tiaamberxx @peterparker1sgf @myfavfanficsever @littlenatilda @vamprry @fdl305 @tchalametishot @ssaama @indierockgirrl @likeapplejuicenpeach @vane28282 @lukesaprince @closureesny @lc-fics @0nlythrowharrybeaux @hannahdressedasabanana @iguessyourejustwhatineeded @dylanobandposts21 @butdaddyilovehim-hs @floral-recs @itjustkindahappenedreally @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @laelamarley @myalovesharry

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[alonetimelover]

pairing: (ex)Harry Styles x Ginger Spice's daughter!reader x Max Verstappen

fc: Sabrina Carpenter

summary: They broke up and she decided to disappear and write a heartbreaking song. Through this process her old friends from F1 were with her. With one two-time World Champion getting closer and closer.

warnings: swearing, cheating, Harry is an asshole in this (sorry!)

a/n: Long? Oh yes. It's a long one. But also my first F1 related fic, hope you enjoy!

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f1 and redbullracing

liked by yourinstagram, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 349 392 others

f1 Is there a better way to start 2023 season than with YN YSN (sweetly called the tiny boss of Red Bull Racing) in the paddock? We say there is NOT! Welcome YN, we hope you have the best time with us!

view all 19 323 comments

yourinstagram thank uuuuu!

danielricciardo THE boss is here!

landonorris *heart eyes*

charles_leclerc Welcome back, YN!

ynupdates oh how i missed her face

ynsmybestie 5 months without even a photo of her finger online... it was a draught

ynsmymama yn's a vroom vroom girlie?????

ynsmybabie F1? is she a fan? tiny boss? what is going on?

⤷ ynupdates I feel like I'm the only one that knew. YN is Christian Horner's (red bull racing boss) step-daughter.

⤷ ynsmybestie isn't his wife ginger spice?

⤷ ynupdates yes! she's YN's mum. how do you guys not know that?

⤷ ynshands maybe because she's using her grandma's surname and not her mother's?

formulafan49 so we're getting las vegas content in bahrain? this sport is getting out of control with all those celebrities attending

⤷ landonorizz why are you being bothered by somebody that knows almost everything about formula 1? go be mad somewhere else

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yourinstagram

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 2 201 302 others

yourinstagram hiii💛 took a break and wrote a song. you're losing me is out now! i love all of you my pathological people pleasers.

view all 91 393 comments

danielricciardo be a happy song with me?

⤷ yourinstagram running to you right now

⤷ landonorris bringing mum's biscuits

⤷ maxverstappen1 I'll bring myself 😊

⤷ danielricciardo you lot weren't invited, but come in... I guess

landonorris you're the only person I'm not mad at for making me cry, ynn

⤷ yourinstagram you've heard the song before, lan

⤷ landonorris shhhh

⤷ danielricciardo it won't make her fall in love with you, norris

⤷ landonorris fuck you man

maxverstappen1 💛💛

ynupdates WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED HERE

ynsmybestie I won't recover. I fucking won't recover

ynsmymama I'm gonna die... its so sad. its heartbreaking. I'm losing myself

hArrysbtch woah, my heart cannot take this

harrysmoustache firstly, break my heart and take it, yn

harrysmoustache secondly, why is the whole f1 here? wtf

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 45 202 others

harryupdates In his latest interview Harry was asked about his private life - especially his relationship with YN. After the question of "do you feel like you throw a great love away?" Harry answered with "I don't know. I don't regret a lot of things in my life but that's [the relationship] probably one of them." You can read the interview via the link in our story!

view all 4 201 comments

hArrysbtch suddenly a six year lasting relationship was a mistake???

hArrysbtch ehh, harry. i kinda feel that the breakup (from Harry's side) happened a long time ago. there is no sparkle anymore

hArrysbtch now let me start on not mentioning her name like EVER "my last partner" her name is YN, why he can't just say it? it's been going on for years. since they started dating really...

harrysmoustache that wasn't the best interview

ynsmymama about 'you're losing me': "every artist has their imagination that they write down and then release. sometimes it's good and sometimes it should be kept private. i'm not the one to size it up." THAT WAS FUCKING LOW

⤷ harrysmoustache as much as I love him that was petty af

⤷ hArrysbtch especially when almost all critics named this song one of the best LYRICALLY and MUSICALLY in the last few decades

ynshands "I don't know if you can be ready to move on from a longterm relationship. it's definitely harder than from something that lasts months or two years." THIS MOTHERF****R IS TALKING ABOUT NOT BEING THE ONE TO MOVE ON BUT HE DID WHILE STILL BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP??????

⤷ ynsmymama this is called audacity

⤷ harrysfan49 cheating was never confirmed, was it?

⤷ ynsmybestie yes, it was. right after harry's "announcement" yn posted a story with lyrics from 'illicit affairs'. i think that's enough of a confirmation.

ynsmybestie yeah, here he comes again not being able to fucking say her name. those 6 years meant nothing?

⤷ harrysfan92 maybe he doesn't want to share his private relationship online

⤷ ynsmybestie i don't understand that. you're loving a person for six years, claiming them the love of your life, but saying the name is hard? he never mentioned her in interviews (my closest friend, my partner, someone I love). he couldn even show up at her birthday party because he had a photoshoot. just to point out, the drivers showed up in London, even though they had a race in Imola the next day.

⤷ harrysfan87 you guys are toxic. just gonna blame him for the breakup? unbelievable.

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ynupdates

liked by ynsmybestie, landofan92 and 88 203 others

ynupdates YN AND LANDO AT THE NIGHTCLUB IN MONACO!!!!!

view all 6 001 comments

ynsmybestie NO FUCKING WAY

ynsmybestie SHE LOOKS SO HOT

ynsmymama the way he looks at her ??? 🫠

ynsfan92 find somebody who looks at you just like lando looks at yn. YOU CAN'T

⤷ ynsmymuse have you seen how max looks at her?

landofan92 do I need to change my bio from norizz to yesrizz?

user39 yeah, moving on quickly when her exboyfriend is talking about how he adores her

⤷ ynsmybestie where??? because i only saw how awful he was to YN from the moment they broke up

user02 yeah, move on quickly and go trough all the drivers

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yourinstagram added to her IG story!

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lando.jpg

liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 1 004 392 others

lando.jpg yn showed her favourites

view all 203 494 comments

danielricciardo LIAAAAAR. SHE LOVES ME MORE.

⤷ yourinstagram of course

⤷ lando.jpg i love your sarcasm

maxverstappen1 💛

yourinstagram not my fault you were the only ones available for photos

⤷ maxverstappen1 I don't mind

⤷ lando.jpg neither do I

⤷ danielricciardo I DO

⤷ charles_leclerc I DO TOO

ynsmybestie hot

ynsmybestie but also i see you YN with favouring Max and Lando, i see you girl

ynsmymama why I've never realised how hot those two are???

ynshands is there a thing she does badly?

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ynupdates

liked by ynsmybestie, maxandyn and 68 574 others

ynupdates YN and MAX VERSTAPPEN at the bar tonight in Zandvoort, celebrating Max's win!

view all 4 206 comments

ynsmybestie SEE? you defend the girl, you get the girl!

ynsmymama i mean i was rooting for them but i am still speechless

ynshands YAS PARENTS

maxfan85 after the race that he had, tying to yet another record and getting a girl? is there a thing he can't do or can't have??

ynsfan93 sooo, do we say they're together orrr?

⤷ ynsmybestie i mean, look at them. i have many friends but i'm not that cozy with any of them

⤷ ynsmymama i vote early stages of dating. yn's a touchy person in nature so you know, it can be that

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yourinstagram added to her IG story!

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a/n: do you want to see more of them?

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part 2

#f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen social media au #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen x singer!reader #max verstappen fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x ex!reader

[meetmymouth]

cuore mio

from the series theadora.

for anon. smut. oral (f receiving), spitting, daddy kink, public sex.

"They're– Harry," she pushes his head away, and Harry lets out a groan, lips still puckered and wet from his kisses. "They're there..."

He looks up at the crowd in question.

Everyone's either drunk or too hot to care about anything around them. They're either singing, reading, or just taking a nap. He bites his bottom lip, looks around the small deck area they're on, and spots her beach towel she's been using as a pillow as she sunbathed before Harry interrupting her.

She watches him yank the towel away from where it's been sitting, and he opens it.

"What are you doing?" She laughs, eyes darting between the towel and Harry's boney fingers as he places it over their laps. "We look suspicious as fuck."

"They don't care," he murmurs into her neck, grabbing her by the side of it to move her closer to his face.

His kisses are slow, practiced, and wet. He smells of the beach, and the sunscreen she'd put on him a few hours ago.

And a bit of sweat.

She grabs him by the back of his neck, suddenly feeling too brave, and he opens his mouth, tongue finding hers as he sucks it into his own mouth. He smiles into the wet kiss, smiles at the noises she's making, knowing full-well he's got her under his spell.

Harry moves to her chin, then the side of her chin, her neck, then back up. He kisses her cheek with open-mouth kisses, and she giggles, hands grabbing him roughly, pressing him into her.

He lets out a growl when her hand touches his belly, then his cock over the shorts he's wearing. "You're so fuckin' hot," he whispers, forehead pressed against the crook of her neck. "So fuckin' hot."

"You are," she whispers, eyes trying to find his gaze.

He looks feral, eyes darting between each and every feature on her face.

He looks like a man on mission.

His hands say so.

"Yeah?" He bites the side of her neck. Hard. "I'm hot?"

She nods, watching his hand disappear under the towel.

She knows what's coming.

His warm hand cups her pussy over the tiny bikini bottoms she has on, and he lets out a moan, clearly not liking the fact that he has to work with yet another layer.

"Yes," she nods, voice quiet. "You're so hot, H."

"God– fuck," he bites into her shoulder, teeth almost breaking the skin. His fingers work the bikini bottoms and finally, they're pushed to the side, creating access for his long fingers. "You're so fuckin' wet."

She hides her face in the crook of his neck, smelling him, the smell of beach and sweat, and Harry retracts his fingers, quickly bringing them up to his mouth. He looks up at their friends, then back at her, and puts his fingers in his mouth, then moves his hand back under the towel.

She opens her legs wider, as discreetly as she can, and he breathes into her neck while his fingers rubs her pussy. He finds his rhythm quickly, the way she likes it, and she can't help but grab his other hand and place his fingers into her mouth. He rubs her pussy with his middle finger, bringing her slick up and down, and she bites his fingers in hopes of staying quiet.

She feels the coil in her stomach, so deep inside, and when he finds her hole, his palm pressing against her clit every time he pumps his fingers in and out, she feels like something gives up inside her. She feels hot, too hot, and she feels as though she's going to pee if Harry doesn't slow down.

She says as much while he licks the underside of her ear, lips then finding her earlobe and sucking on it as his fingers fucks into her harshly.

"Slower," she manages to whisper into his fingers. She licks them, kisses them, and Harry can't help but nod, hand going to wrap around her neck in a practiced manner.

His thumb strokes the side of her neck while he fucks into her with his long fingers, wet lips kissing and sucking on her warm, probably-sweaty skin.

"I love you," he chokes out, palm still creating friction against her clit. "I love you so much," he whispers, lips finding hers again.

She answers back, with her own kisses, wet mouths creating obscene sounds, and they're lucky Xander has decided to play music very loudly in the distance.

"Harry," a breath leaves her mouth, teeth clinking together, and he nods.

"Oh God," she fights his kisses, feeling too much all at once, and she leans her head back as Harry follows.

It's like he can't get enough of her mouth.

He abuses her lips with his, wet kisses all over her face, her mouth, and she feels his spit running down her chin, so she lets out another moan, hips already bucking up to meet the thrust of his fingers.

She feels it on the tips of her toes, her hands, her stomach.

Her cunt.

Everything feels on fire.

She's on fire.

"Gonna come for me?" Harry asks, voice raspy and low, and he licks the saliva that's running down her chin back into her mouth. He's clearly not looking for a response as he kisses her.

She can't help but nod weakly still, hand pressed against his. Then, she moves it to his upper body, fingers finding his pecks as she strokes the hair on his chest, then holds onto his necklace as he keeps fucking and rubbing her cunt.

"Come on," he nods, hair falling against his sweat-covered forehead. "Gonna come for me? For Daddy?"

"Oh fuck– fuckfuckfuck I'm coming, I'm coming!"

"Yeah, that's it," his abuse on her cunt becomes rough, almost more focused. Feral. He fucks another finger into her pussy as she squeezes around his fingers, and she moves her hips against his palm as she begins coming undone. "That's my girl. That's my good fuckin' girl," he bites her chin, making her lean into the touch. "Doesn't even care that we're in public..."

She feels like she's in a dream, Harry's fingers still deep inside her.

"No..." she moans– whispers more like.

"No," Harry agrees, forehead pressing in the crook of her neck. He licks there once, then leaves a kiss. "She doesn't care. You'll give it to me whenever and wherever we are, won't you, baby?"

"I love you," she nods, feeling cold all of a sudden, despite his fingers being inside her.

She feels him smile against her neck, and he looks up. "I love you. So much."

"Yeah?" She feels the need to ask. Again.

"I love you so, so fuckin' much," he kisses her cheek, his free hand wiping the saliva off her chin, and cheeks. "You're my heart."

"I am?"

"You are. You are everything."

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #ex husband!harry #theadora #harry styles smut #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry's house #love on tour #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #harry smut #harry writing #harry x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x you #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles fluff

[1d1195]

Tuesday

I’m a sucker for protective Harry and exes to lovers sort of vibes.

Harry forgot that after they broke up he started sleeping on the side she did...for a while it smelled like her and as good as the break up was, he missed her and longed for her. Sleeping on her side made him feel closer to her. After a while, he forgot it wasn’t where he usually slept.

She was sitting in the coffee shop looking at her phone. Scrolling through the contacts was making her more anxious. It wasn’t super late—only nine. But it was dark out in the dead of winter and on Tuesday no less. She had class in the morning, and she didn’t want to bother anyone because she knew they had classes in the morning too.

When she closed this evening, she got a weird vibe from the guy hovering in the corner of the shop who kept asking her when she got off her shift and if she wanted to hang out afterwards. At the time she wasn’t alone, but she assured her coworker she would be fine—and was now regretting it. Something in the pit of her stomach was making her nervous. She didn’t want to go outside to her car, but it seemed a little dramatic.

So, she was scrolling through her (admittedly, not so very many) contacts deciding mentally if anyone was close enough that she was willing to bother. She was scrolling her way back to the top after her initial run through getting increasingly nervous as she crept back toward the A’s. If she made it back to the top, she wasn’t sure what she’d do at that point.

But it was the H’s that caught her attention.

“Fuck,” she whispered to literally no one but herself. Putting her hand on her forehead, she sighed. She didn’t want to call him. It had been two years since she last spoke to him. The chances of him even inhabiting the same apartment, a mere five-minute drive away, let alone the same town after he graduated and got a real job were slim to none. Plus, the idea he would answer her phone call at nine on a Tuesday night seemed downright laughable.

Honestly though, he was her only hope.

Biting her lip, she clicked on his name. It almost felt foreign. But something deep within her found it felt so familiar it was impossible to not feel at ease just listening to the sound of the phone ringing knowing he would be at the other end (if he would answer).

“Hello?” He asked. His voice sounded confused. She wasn’t surprised at his tone. It was insane for her to call him.

“Harry,” she said simply.

“Uh...hi, love,” it sounded loud wherever he was. She should have known Harry would be with people and living his life.

“Hi,” she said softly.

It was quiet for a moment other than the sound of whatever Harry was doing in the background. She thought about the last time they spoke. It had to have been right about when things ended. It wasn’t a bad breakup, but they didn’t really stay in touch. She saw pictures and updates on social media but Harry wasn’t all that active. She had no way of knowing a whole lot about his personal life—if he was seeing anyone...or anything like that.

“Love?” He said and the noise seemed to fade in the background of his concerned voice. “Y’okay?” He asked.

“Um...” she shook her head trying to remain focused and remember why she called her ex-boyfriend. “Er...yeah. M’fine...it’s just...” she sighed. “M’sorry. I shouldn’t have called. I’m just...I’m at work and...well I’m trying to leave but there was this guy and I got a weird feeling. But it’s stupid...and I just...there’s no one I know nearby, and I thought if you were still at your place close by then...” she shook her head hearing how ridiculous this all sounded. Bothering Harry on a Tuesday night for something that might not even happen. Her heart was fluttering. This was ridiculous. “Harry, I’m so sorry. This was a stupid phone call. There’s nothing wrong. I didn’t mean to bother you. I’ll be fine,” she said firmly gathering her belongings in her arms and steeling herself for the cold walk outside to her car.

“Oh...hey...” he frowned as he held the phone to his ear. “S’alright love. You’re not a bother,” he promised. “Are...are you inside still?” He asked. She could hear a flurry of movement on his end. There was a rustling of keys, and a few calls in the distance were yelled but she couldn’t make out the words.

“Yeah...but really, it’s fine. It’s late and I’m being ridiculous. I’m just going to—”

“M’still nearby,” he said quickly interrupting her. “Jus’...wait five minutes. I’ll be right there.”

For a moment she stilled and silenced her rationale and the convoluted reasoning in her head. “Really?” She asked, feeling relief course through her body. She didn’t even realize how stressed she was about the situation. The brave front for Harry slowly seemed to dissipate. There was no way she could know that Harry also recognized the worry in her voice.

“’Course, love,” he said easily. They were both quiet for a moment and she could hear the jingling of Harry’s keys, the unlocking of his car. “D’you want me t’stay on the phone with you?” He wondered.

She nodded, feeling comforted by Harry just breathing. Someone was coming to her rescue, even if she was being ridiculous. She didn’t even realize she nodded. But Harry didn’t get off the phone despite not knowing her answer. It was weird to be so content with Harry silently coming to her. With her eyes closed, she could almost picture Harry’s route. Hearing his blinker, the sound of the road...it was almost too much for her. Him just coming to her without so much as a real reason—just a feeling—was heartwarming. It made her miss him all over again.

When they dated, Harry was nothing less than perfect. He did everything with the utmost respect and chivalry. He was an amazing boyfriend and she adored him more than any other boyfriend she ever had. It broke her heart when they ended their relationship, truly. She reminded herself it wasn’t a bad break up. It was mature. They grew apart and Harry graduated, and things were ending. But she was still in school. Granted, now she was on the last of her classes and graduating the coming spring. Harry was out in the real world these last two years being perfect for whoever he worked for and for whoever he was dating.

“Hey love?” He asked gently. Her thoughts pulled back to the present. “M’parking right now. M’gonna come to the front, yeah? I’ll knock, okay?”

She nodded again, making her way from the back of the shop toward the front door. She could see Harry, phone pressed to his ear, looking just as she remembered him. Tall, lanky, and handsome as could be. Always. If she wasn’t so nervous, she would have ogled him for longer. She unlocked the door and let Harry in. “Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi,” he replied. “You alright, love?” He asked.

She nodded. “Yeah,” she didn’t sound alright, though.

He glanced out the doorway and his brow creased in the middle. He looked highly annoyed. “M’glad you called,” he said quietly.

“Thank you,” her voice was so small and quiet. She looked nervously through the front window seeing Harry’s car closest to the shop. “Would you mind walking me to my car?”

He nodded. “Course, love,” he promised easily.

“You really didn’t have to come,” she said. It was a phrase that sounded like she should be annoyed—even though she was the one that asked him here, in so many words. But Harry knew her. He knew she wasn’t annoyed. He knew she was scared and didn’t want to be a bother. She was annoyed that she bothered him, if anything.

He shook his head. “Nonsense, love. Don’t mind at all,” he kept glancing out the window then he turned his attention back to her. “M’gonna...” he rolled his lips into his mouth and then sighed. “Kitten, m’gonna hold you, alright?” He said softly. She glanced out the window again, trying to see around Harry, but he stepped in her view. It wasn’t good. He must have been out there. A shiver ran up her back and she let out a small, nervous noise that came from deep in her soul. “Don’t worry,” he shook his head quickly and kept her from seeing. He took her bag off her shoulder and put it on his own. She had her keys in her hand and she swallowed. “M’here,” he promised. “M’not going anywhere.”

*

Harry wrapped his arm around her waist, pressing his side fully to hers as they walked toward his car parked right next to hers. They were silent except for Harry quietly whispering directions toward her. “Are you alright t’drive?” She nodded silently. Harry opened her driver’s door. He waited for her to sit, and he physically blocked her view outside the door. “Are y’sure y’can drive?” She nodded. “Are y’still at the same place?” She nodded again.

Harry reached past her to settle her bag on her passenger seat.

“Love?” He questioned again. He was hesitant to ask his next question but the way she looked so nervous and scared had him reeling.

It also didn’t help there was a creep a mere 30 meters away from them waiting for her like she was bait. She turned to look at him, her breath shaky, her hands kept shaking too as they reached for her steering wheel.

“Y-yeah?”

“I want you t’come t’my place, yeah?”

She felt scared so she just nodded. “Okay.”

“Kitten, m’not gonna let anything happen t’you, okay? I promise.”

“Okay,” she nodded again but it felt a lot more right this time.

Pressing the lock button on her door, he gave her arm a gentle squeeze as she turned her car on. “M’gonna follow you so wait until m’in the car,” he said softly. She nodded once more.

*

Harry was fuming about all of it. Seeing her name pop up on his phone made him confused and worried. But nothing prepared him for the feeling of helplessness and worry he actually felt when he went to the coffee shop and saw her car and a one other car waiting for her to exit work. He hadn’t spoken to her in two years, but he didn’t want to think about what he would do if he found out something terrible happened to her. As he started his car looking toward her waiting to go Harry waved to her to indicate he was good to go.

Harry would murder him if he followed them.

Harry spoke to his phone. “Call Niall.”

The phone rang twice before he answered. “Harry, where did y’go?” Niall asked curiously.

“Everyone needs to leave,” Harry said.

“Harry, what are—”

“I don’t care what y’tell them, everyone needs t’be gone in the next three minutes.”

“Harry—”

“Niall! Jus’ get them out!”

“Okay, okay,” Niall said with a tone of defensiveness in his voice. “I’ll get them out.”

“Thank you, I’ll explain when I get there.”

Harry glanced in his rearview mirror and didn’t see anyone following him. But now Harry was paranoid, and he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. He called her again. “Hello?” She asked tentatively.

“Hey love. When y’park, I don’t want y’to get out. I’ll come around t’you, okay?”

“Okay,” she said softly. “Harry?” She whispered.

“Yeah, love?”

“Thank you,” the gratefulness was so thick on her voice Harry could have cried. What if he didn’t see her call? Or what if he decided not to answer? He was worried about things that weren’t but the idea of something happening to her made him feel sick.

“M’really glad you called,” he promised.

She didn’t say anything again. He felt so bad she was so nervous and worked up. She wasn’t one to need saving. She usually did most of the saving her friend group. She was the one with an extra hair tie or a stain stick at restaurants. She never let anyone be hungry or thirsty. If someone didn’t have medicine handy, they could ask her. She was the one that did the saving. She wasn’t the one that needed it. Rarely did she ever ask for help. Asking Harry was not only huge for her, but it meant she really needed it.

When she started downplaying how nervous she was on the phone, Harry thought how terrifying it was that she never needed anyone. Especially for a situation like this. He thought for two seconds what would have happened if her instincts were right, if Harry did ignore her worries, or if she convinced him that she was alright.

Harry quickly brushed those thoughts aside. “Do y’want me t’stay on the phone?” He asked her this earlier. Just like before there was no answer, but he knew she nodded. So, he stayed quietly on the phone listening to her breathing, the sound of her directional, and the road.

There were several cars passing as they pulled up toward Harry and Niall’s place. Harry was grateful Niall got everyone out. “Okay, love, stay put,” he said hanging up as he hurried out of his parked car to her driver’s seat.

Niall was standing on the front stoop waiting to see what Harry was so worked up about. When Harry opened the driver’s door and ushered her out Niall finally understood. “Must have skipped my last eye appointment, is that you princess?” Niall said cheerfully and hurried to give her a hug. It was a bit awkward though because Harry wouldn’t release one of her hands.

“D’you need anything else?” He asked ignoring Niall’s greeting.

“Uh...there’s a bag in my trunk,” she said softly. “I can get it in a minute—” Harry finally released her hand and headed back for her car.

“What brings you here this evening?” Niall asked.

“Oh...uh...” she swallowed. “It was nothing really,” she said shyly. Niall glanced at Harry’s embittered expression. He could see it halfway across their yard while she looked at the ground before looking back at Niall. “I actually think I overreacted and I didn’t know who else to call—”

“She did not overreact,” Harry said simply closing her car up and then coming to her to put a hand on her lower back. He ushered her toward the door. “She’s gonna stay tonight,” Harry told Niall.

Niall blinked then raised his eyebrows in surprise. “What about—”

“No,” he said simply, shaking his head and pushing her more toward the front.

“Harry, that’s not necessary...I think I can—”

“No,” he repeated.

There wasn���t room to argue.

*

She said goodnight to Niall and Harry continued ushering her into his room. It was the same as before except he moved the bed to the middle of the wall and changed the position of the dresser and the desk in his room. “D’you have clothes or d’you need clothes?”

“I don’t have uh...clothes to wear to bed—”

“Here,” he said quickly and opened the drawer. “Think y’left these here,” he said handing her a pair of leggings that she had lost years ago. It made her feel confused that he kept them folded neatly in a drawer readily available. She wondered if he let other women wear them. She honestly didn’t care. She was glad they were getting some use.

Harry assumed she was questioning the fact he kept her leggings in a drawer folded neatly. He offered them to a girl staying over every now and again. Gem even wore them on occasion. Harry didn’t need to read her mind, to know she was probably happy to help some stranger when they were over and needed something comfy to sleep in. “And y’can wear this,” he said and tossed her a long sleeve shirt that had a logo on it she hadn’t seen before.

“What’s this?” She asked curiously looking at the logo. It wasn’t really the time, but she was potentially in shock and Harry wasn’t going to let that happen, so he just answered her.

“The company I work for,” he shrugged and pulled his shirt over her head.

She dated Harry for two years, so she was used to seeing Harry naked. But not seeing him for two years and for him to casually pull his shirt over his head...well, she missed seeing him. “You got new tattoos,” she said suddenly.

Harry smirked for the first time all night and he paused with his arms in his shirt, but he held off on tugging the shirt over his head. “Uh...jus’ a few,” he said quietly. “One for m’godson, another one for Gem, one ‘cause I drank a little too much one night,” he said shyly.

Harry looked at her gentle smile and thought he would melt. She was all stressed and worked up and so was Harry, but she was beautiful. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If Harry wasn’t so nervous about her safety, he would have reveled a bit longer in how much he missed her voice and suddenly hearing it woke some part of him that he thought was long gone. The part of him that was hers.

Harry opened the door again. “Hey Ni,” he called. “You still do her skincare routine?”

She let out a huffed little laugh thinking about the night she showed Niall and Harry all the steps to having a clean face before bed making sure to prevent wrinkles and damage to the only skin they had. Harry thought it was too many steps, but Niall was smitten with the routine and asked her no less than fifty questions about what he needed to do to have baby soft skin. Harry was grateful now that it was going to pay in tenfold, because he could make her feel at home and have Niall comfort her for a few moments while he fixed up his room. “Yeah! Princess, you want to share?” He called.

Harry looked at her and then opened the door wider. “All yours,” he said softly.

She took the borrowed clothes and nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered again.

Harry watched her walk to the shared bathroom and Niall followed in behind her to show where he kept everything, but he caught Harry’s eye as he entered quirking one eyebrow at him. Harry shook his head and left the pair to their spa treatment.

Harry’s phone vibrated as he propped up the pillows and got a few more blankets for the sweet girl from his closet. For someone that always ran much too hot, she always wanted more blankets to sleep in at night. He was planning on offering to sleep on the floor or the couch, but he knew she would deny it immediately and probably offer to do it herself. Of course, Harry wasn’t about to let that happen so they would have to settle for sharing. He glanced at the name on his phone and sighed.

Do you want me to come over? Harry felt guilty but he shouldn’t have. It was an arrangement they had agreed upon, and they both knew it.

Not tonight.

Oh. Okay.

Sorry.

No, it’s fine. Just surprised. Everything alright?

Yeah.

Okay.

Harry stopped answering. She deserved more...and if Harry had a little bit better self-esteem maybe he would realize he deserved more too.

There was a knock outside his room. “Y’don’t need t’knock, kitten,” he said with an eye roll as he pulled the covers back for the two of them. Harry heard his door click shut.

“Well...it’s sort of ridiculous that I’m even here, and I feel bad intruding and making you even—”

“Love,” he said turning toward her. She was in his shirt and her leggings now. She settled the clothes she was wearing with her stuff, and she looked toward Harry with so much trust in her eyes Harry wanted to cry. He was so thankful she called him. So thankful she trusted her gut and glad he could help her. “I am so glad y’called me,” he said softly. “You’re not intruding or anything,” he promised. “M’glad you’re here.”

She bit her lip and nodded. “Okay,” she said softly. “Thank you,” she repeated again.

Harry gestured to the bed. “I was gonna offer t’sleep on the floor or the couch—”

“Absolutely not.”

He continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “—But I already knew y’wouldn’t care for that, and I won’t let y’do that either so...” he said and gestured to the bed again.

She couldn’t argue with him so she grabbed her bag and pulled it toward the side of the bed she was used to sleeping on. However, Harry forgot that after they broke up he started sleeping on the side she did...for a while it smelled like her and as good as the break up was, he missed her and longed for her. Sleeping on her side made him feel closer to her. After a while, he forgot it wasn’t where he usually slept. But for tonight, he would have to go back to his side. Harry settled into his bed, pulling the blankets up over him as he scrolled on his phone. It was eerie how comfortable they could get into a routine that was very much the same as the one they used to have.

“Do you mind if I just...finish my essay really quick?” She asked softly.

“Take your time, love,” he nodded easily. “How is school?” He inquired.

She nodded. Harry watched her as she pulled her laptop from her bag and opened it. “It’s good. I’m almost done...I have an internship a couple days a week and they’ve offered me a job when I officially graduate.”

“Kitten, that’s awesome,” he smiled. “Congratulations,” it was so heartfelt it made her stomach flutter.

“How is this place?” She asked, pointing to the logo on her shirt. “Have you been there this whole time?”

“Yeah, I have. It’s a great place. I like it. It’s quiet. I get t’keep t’myself mostly. M’told I’m better than the last guy they had,” Harry chuckled.

She smiled and nodded. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

Harry felt his face warm. “What are you working on now?” He wondered.

“It’s for my history of psychology class,” she said. Harry was always dumbfounded she wanted to be a psychologist but rarely looked at how her own behavior was maddening every now and again. Like tonight when she was willingly about to put her life in danger for some creep because she didn’t want to bother Harry. “Just relating different philosophies to a disorder over time and how the founders of these philosophies would have approached it.”

“Cool,” Harry smiled. “Do you like it still?”

“Very much,” she nodded. “Except,” she sighed. “This keeps happening,” she showed him her computer. “I’m sorry,” she said. She hated asking Harry about tech. It never bothered him. He was happy to help her, and he gave her tips to better the lifespan of her devices. She knew he would probably still look at it for her, even after all these years.

He tilted his head and sat up more and looked at the blue crash screen analyzing the codes it presented. “Hold on,” he mumbled turning into his IT self and googling the code from his phone. “How often does it do this?”

“Err...like once a day.”

“Kitten,” he admonished. She knew better than that after all of his tips and tricks. “May I?” He asked. She handed it to him.

“I can’t really afford a new laptop right now. My dad said he would get me one when I graduated in a month,” she shrugged.

“How is your family?” He asked while he fiddled with her computer.

“Good,” she nodded. “How’s yours?”

“They’re good. Gemma visits frequently,” he smirked.

“That’s nice, tell her I said hello.”

He was busy clicking through her screens and checking settings on her computers that she didn’t know existed. “Y’should really clean this,” he murmured.

“Er...m’not sure how...you always did it for me,” she reminded him.

He chuckled. “Fair enough, I can do it in the morning if y’have time.”

“I have class at eight,” she told him.

He shrugged. “S’okay...m’usually up at five.”

“Five?” She asked in surprise. “Harry, it’s so late, you should be asleep,” she said with concern in her voice.

He shrugged. “S’okay. Niall and I usually have movie night with friends on Tuesdays,” he said. “S’pretty early t’be in bed right now, on a regular Tuesday night, for me.”

“I interrupted movie night?” She asked quietly.

“That’s what y’took from that?” He smirked.

She was silent for a few moments. “He was out there, wasn’t he? Waiting for me?” She whispered.

Harry didn’t want to answer her question. “Yes.” She nodded and swallowed around a lump in her throat. Biting the inside of her cheek she looked at her hands while Harry took his gaze from her computer to look back at her. “Kitten,” he said softly. “It’s okay.”

“What if you couldn’t have—”

“Love, don’t. I was there. S’okay,” he promised.

“But you might not have been able to...and you shouldn’t have—”

“Baby,” he said softly and put her laptop on the floor beside him. He turned to face her, and he reached for her cheek. He rubbed his thumb over her soft skin. He could feel her melting into the touch and it reminded him of every time he ever touched her and how much he missed that. They were so different now. Older, wiser. Harry still adored her so very much, seeing her name was the first time he thought of her in months and months. Hearing her voice was like hearing a song he forgot about, and it sounded like hearing it for the first time and it sounded so much like angels he was wondering if tripped down the steps of his house and died. Touching her, even if he felt she was in danger, was like magic. It changed something in him. It was familiar and new and all at once. Holding her was warmth and light, something he had forgotten about until that moment. Even in a situation he didn’t want to be in. “I would do anything for you.”

“Still?” She asked with a snort before she could stop it.

Harry rolled his eyes. He brushed his thumb over her cheek again; he would do it all night rather than sleep and then work a full week. If this was the last time he saw her, touched her, smelled her, he would do it for just another minute. “If y’need me, love...that’s...a big deal. Yeah...I would do anything for you.”

“We’re not even together,” she whispered. “Actually...I think you have a girlfriend.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he shook his head.

“You’re seeing someone?”

He sighed. “Kitten, I don’t care about anyone but you, right now.”

“I can’t in good conscience—”

“Love, m’not seeing anyone. That’s it,” he said with a touch of frustration in his voice. She was quiet another moment.

“Harry?” She whispered.

“What, kitten?”

“I think I’m going to cry.”

“Oh, love,” he cooed and pulled her toward him. She started to cry and Harry held her against his chest and while he hated the way her tears soaked his shirt, he was so glad he was there to comfort her.

*

She was anxiously walking into the coffee shop the next day. She knew the chances of him being there again after he was clearly rejected were slim. It didn’t quell her nerves though, as she walked into the shop.

As she settled her things in the back and came to the front to clock in on the register and begin taking orders, she finally noticed the curly brunet locks cozied up in the corner of the shop in an armchair with a book in hand and computer bag at his feet. She blinked. Doing a double take between the customer waiting to place his order and Harry, sitting quietly in the corner, focused on his book and unaware it seemed that she was at work.

As she made the drink requested, she looked at Harry and then her coworker. “Did you see Harry come in?” She asked.

She glanced over at the corner. “Yes.”

There was no more discussion.

*

At the end of her shift, she went over to Harry in the corner halfway through his book. “Why are you here?”

“I told you I’d do anything for you, love,” he said gently, earmarking his page and closing the book. “Ready t’go?”

She bit her lip and nodded. He stood up, gathering his things and headed for the door.

*

When Harry came to her shifts over the next week, she thought that this was over the top. He didn’t say anything, didn’t offer any explanation, he was just there. When they left he tucked her neatly into her car and followed her home before she entered her apartment and waved goodbye from the front entrance.

On Sunday, she anticipated seeing Harry in the corner at some point in her morning shift, but instead she was slightly disappointed by not seeing him. She got used to seeing him and more than that wanted to see him.

So when she got into her car and locked her doors before she pulled her phone out.

“’Lo?”

“Are you mad at me?” She asked.

“Kitten?” He responded. It sounded like he was suddenly awake out of nowhere.

“You didn’t come to—”

“Are y’alright? Did he come back?”

“No!” She shook her head as she answered hurriedly. “I’m fine...I just...”

“Love, m’sorry. I...I had something t’do this morning, I figured—”

All at once she felt like the biggest idiot in the world. “Oh my God,” she whispered and covered her eyes. Thank God she didn’t video chat Harry. Thank God she was alone in her car and no one could see the bright red cheeks she was sporting. “Oh my God. Harry. I’m so sorry. I...oh my God,” she shook her head.

Hearing her worried tone, Harry hurried away from his morning plans. “Angel, are you okay?” He repeated. “I can come be there in ten minutes, love. M’worried that—"

“No, m’fine. Really. Please this is mortifying. You're very obviously with someone...and...I’m fine,” she told him. “I feel like—”

"Love, m'not with anyone. Haven't been since we started talking again. Kitten, I want t’see y’too,” he promised. “I’ll be home in ‘bout an hour. Does that work for you?” She nodded, feeling ridiculous as ever. Harry couldn’t see her nodding. But he knew she was. “An hour,” he promised. “I’ll see you then, love.”

*

She felt stupid once more as she pulled up to Harry’s place and noted Niall’s car wasn’t there, fortunately. At the very least her humiliation would remain just between herself and Harry. Harry met her in the yard almost as soon as he saw her pull up. “I was worried y’were lying,” he admitted and stuffed his hands in his pockets looking at her as she walked toward him.

“I wouldn’t lie to you,” she promised crossing her arms in front of her.

“Good,” he smiled gently. “Then...is everything alright?”

“I missed you,” she whispered quietly.

“Yeah?” He murmured.

“Yeah,” she nodded not making eye contact.

Harry tilted her chin up and rubbed the pad of his thumb over her lip. “I missed you more,” he said so cutely she could have turned into a puddle of love and mush on his front yard.

“Yeah?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded and smiled at her. It was so adorable, so utterly Harry, and made her want to throw herself at him and never let him go.

So she did.

#harry #harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #hs #hs fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles concept #ex!harry #harry styles one shot #one direction #one direction writing #tuesday

[writesleah]

the way i loved you ✰ m. riddle

➻ pairing: reader x mattheo riddle, brief reader x cedric diggory

➻ genre: angst/fluff

➻ summary: after a hard breakup, you had finally moved on and found your perfect man. he was everything you could’ve asked for, but the lingering thoughts of your ex take a toll on you

➻ warnings: swearing, mentions of blood and fighting, borderline betraying cedric :(

➻ word count: 1.8k

➻ a/n: if it’s not already completely obvious, i was listening to the way i loved you by taylor swift when i thought of this lmaooo i couldn’t fight the taylor references so there is a couple in here, it’s just my deep rooted swiftie mindset

“hey baby. you look beautiful today,” cedric smiled, sitting down at the slytherin table next to you, a bold move for a hufflepuff, but everybody thought he was far too good looking to say anything. well, some people.

mattheo riddle had the absolute nerve to speak up, as if he hadn’t completely ruined your life only months before.

“alright, diggory?” he snorted, looking your boyfriend up and down with disgust. he and cedric probably could’ve gotten along just fine if it wasn’t for the clashing common interest that seemed to have mattheo spitting as many nasty comments as he could - you, “i see you’re still pissing about with her.”

he didn’t even bother to say your name when he was talking about you. twat. you felt your anger starting to pool up in your stomach, a force threatening to take over until a soft hand placed itself on your hip.

“just ignore him, okay?” cedric smiled down at you, encouraging you to do exactly what he was doing. you nodded.

“it’s fine. he’s just… yeah,” you sighed, scrunching your eyes a couple times before continuing to eat, doing your best to ignore mattheo’s presence on just a couple seats down.

—

“he’s perfect,” pansy sighed, practically drooling over your relationship.

you had shown the girls the card he had made for valentines day, which was honestly the smallest thing he’d done for you on the day. he had a tendency to show his affection as much as he possibly could, making you experience every single love language at least once a week.

“that’s adorable, oh my god,” daphne gushed, reading the card over and over. it was a sweet message where he described his love for you, and it definitely warmed your heart, “i’m actually so jealous of what you guys have, it’s not even funny. astoria, come read this.”

astoria made her way over to the group and took the pale pink card from her sister’s hands, her eyes scanning the words that practically formed a letter with how many cedric had written. the three of you watched as her face contorted into an expression of admiration and light jealousy, her cheeks slightly pink.

“stop it, you’re going to make me cry knowing that i don’t have a man that loves me like this,” she whined, punctuating her words with a small laugh.

cedric was your ideal boyfriend. he was attractive, sensible, smart and kind. he got along with your parents and siblings, and always made sure to compliment you in some way every time he saw you. he said everything you ever wanted to hear, and was just perfect for you, so why couldn’t you get mattheo out of your head?

“i need to ask you all something,” you blurted out, a little annoyed at yourself for doing so, but also relieved that you could get it off your chest.

the trio looked over at you with raised eyebrows, waiting for you to continue.

“what is it?” pansy murmured, her head tilted just slightly as her eyes studied you.

"okay, let's just say... hypothetically, you have the most perfect, incredible boyfriend and could never ask for anything better, but… there’s this pesky little lingering thought about a certain past endeavour that you can’t get out of your head.”

the girls looked at you a little confused, though daphne’s expression quickly hardened. she knew exactly what you were talking about.

“please tell me you’re not still thinking about riddle,” she groaned in disappointment, shaking her head whilst running her hands over her face. the other two expressed disapproving noises and sighs, looking at you as if you’d just told them you were going to kill someone.

“it’s mattheo, what do you want me to do?” you mumbled defensively, helping it would support your case a little, but it just made them give you a glare.

“i don’t get what you see in him. he’s a boring, lazy prick who skips every class he possibly can to smoke weed and get plastered with his equally as boring and lazy roadman gang,” astoria huffed with a small shrug, looking at you with more concern than anything, “all you guys would do was scream at each other and cry about it all, and then go and make out in the rain or something, which i suppose is pretty hot, but it doesn’t make up for all the arguing.”

“you go insane when you’re with him. i didn’t even know it was possible to feel that much, but you definitely proved that it is,” pansy snorted, though it was clear her comment wasn’t really a joke.

you just sighed and brushed it off, promising that you wouldn’t do anything. it was just something on your mind, right?

—

you were walking in the corridor on your own, cedric just having left to get to his class, which was on the complete other side of the school to yours.

“rare to see you without prince charming these days. have you broken up already?”

you knew who it was when the first word was spoken, and after days of trying to get him out of your mind, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“do you have nothing better to do than terrorise me and my relationship, riddle?” you spat, turning around to face the boy, though your expression quickly dropped when you saw crimson blood spattered across his face, “why am i not surprised?”

“wow, last name basis now, princess?” he chuckled, brushing off your comment about his injuries with a small huff of either annoyance or amusement, you couldn’t really tell.

you tried to walk away, not wanting to involve yourself in his antics when you couldn’t trust yourself to not snap without somebody nearby to warn you not to. it was hard to control yourself around mattheo for some reason. probably all the pent up anger you had from the relationship and its ending.

“just piss off. i honestly can’t be bothered with you right now,” you sighed, shaking your head. his face dropped at that, seeming much less entertained now that you had say that you genuinely didn’t want to speak to him. he didn’t like that.

“no, absolutely not. what you’re not gonna do is act like a bitch because you’re in a mood about something,” mattheo scoffed, grabbing your wrist to pull you back, leaving a faint, bloody handprint on your skin, to which you groaned at.

“can you not?” you murmured, trying to wipe it off, but only smearing it across your arm further. at this, he sighed and pulled you into the prefect’s bathroom, the nearest place with a sink.

“here, since you apparently need everything done for you. i see some things haven’t changed,” he tugged your arm under the sink and lightly rinsed it away, rolling his eyes as he did so, and taking the chance to wash his own hands, “you’re a real piece of work, you know that? especially these last couple months. i don’t even know what’s happened, but it’s annoying.”

“what happened is we broke up. i’m not going to be your sweet little angel every single day, riddle,” you retorted, shaking your head and patting your arm dry with a paper towel.

“i still don’t get why we ended things,” the brunette shrugged, as if the comment he had just made meant absolutely nothing, “i mean, you’d probably be sat in my lap cleaning me up right now if we hadn’t.”

his words were a harsh reminder of how much things had changed. if he had come to you battered and bruised when you were together, which he had done multiple times before, you would end up sitting in his lap whilst cleaning off all the blood, reprimanding him for getting into fights again whilst trying to fight the incessant butterflies that flapped around so aggressively in your stomach. you were feeling those same butterflies now, too.

“well… we’re not, so you’ll have to settle for some water and a paper towel. maybe you’ll get a plaster if you can find one somewhere,” you scoffed, trying to act as nonchalant as he was.

“come on, princess, don’t be like that,” mattheo groaned, looking at you with a frustrated expression. you didn’t get why he was still calling you princess. he’d taken the pet name he loved using for you so much and turned it into a mocking insult. that hurt you, you had to admit, how he took something so precious and made it into a nickname only used for when he wanted to be rude.

you glanced over at him, meeting his eyes. those eyes. those perfect, dark eyes that, when in the sunlight, turned into a gorgeous, flowing blend of various chocolate shades that sparkled and told so many tales in such little space. you had to chastise yourself for thinking about him so fondly when you swore you disliked him so much.

“why are you doing this to me? acting as if everything’s just perfectly fine and like there isn’t so much shit between us?” you sighed, running your hands over your face out of pure annoyance. why was he acting like this? why were you okay with it?

“i know you. i know every single facial expression you make. every single word you say,” he muttered, studying your face rapidly, “and i know that half the smiles you show off when you’re with diggory are fake. he’s boring you, i can see that clear as day. at least when you were with me, it was fun.”

you shook your head at his words, a soft huff of disbelief forcing itself out of you. deep down inside of you, you know that everything he was saying was true, but you couldn’t admit that. cedric was your boyfriend, you loved him, didn’t you?

“stop it, mattheo,” you pleaded, looking up at the blood-drenched face of the boy you didn’t know whether you adored or despised.

“i was your first… everything, princess. you can’t just deny that what we had was special,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes as if he was getting annoyed again, his soft facade crumbling.

“what do you want me to do? apologise?” you breathed out in disbelief, looking at him as if he was insane, “if that’s what you want, then this is me standing in front of you and saying that i’m sorry for what happened that night, and it hurts my pride to say this, but i sometimes find myself wishing i could change my mind. is that what you want from me? i’m sick of these games.”

mattheo seemed to pause at your words, each syllable playing over and over in his head as he registered what you had just admitted. it was as if his entire body just glitched, every muscle coming to a standstill, though his eyes flicked back and forth as if he was reading the words from a book. it took a moment, but he eventually cracked a small smile, his head tilting.

“did you just reference a taylor swift song in your apology, love?”

#fanfic #harry potter #taylor swift #benjamin wadsworth #mattheo riddle x y/n #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x you #mattheo riddle #mattheoxreader #mattheo x y/n #harry potter fanfiction #ex to lovers #the way i loved you

[slytherweasley]

Unexpected encounter (Fred Weasley x reader)

Warnings: smut, female oral receiving, unprotected sex, swearing

Summary: Fred gets paired with his ex on a project but things don’t turn out the way either of them expected.

“Fred Weasley and y/n y/l/n” you heart sinks and you have the most terrible feeling in your stomach. You and your long-term boyfriend recently broke up and you have not gotten over it. Everyone knew you were broken up and it was not pretty. Your arguing was heard from the common room. Snape paired you up just to spite you, you’re sure of it.

The two of you make eye contact for the first time in a while, you always avoided his eyes. “What are you going to do?” Angelina whispers “I don’t know” you say agony filled in your voice. You thought about it for the rest of class, you’d have to see him in your own time outside of class.

You stood in the hallway anxious as you barely listened to your friends talk. As you look around the hallway you almost immediately spot Fred, you look away and try to engage in the conversation. “Excuse me” you nervously take a deep breath in as you gain the courage to look up. “Sorry don’t mean to interrupt can I talk to you?” Fred looks at you and you nod following behind him.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re alright with everything” he was being sweet but you couldn’t think of him like that “I’m fine, you’re the one who broke up with me.” “I know you’re busy for the next couple days, does tonight work so we can start?” He still remembers the days when you have tutoring on.

“Tonight is fine, where should I meet you?” “My dorm, I’m sure you remember where that is” you nod and walk away.

You go to your dorm to get changed after school, your heart races and you’re incredibly nervous but somehow still excited and hopeful that things will be alright. You felt okay up until you knocked on the door, you have never knocked on his door you always walked in greeting him. He opens the door for you letting you in, as you get further into his dorm the memories hit you hard and all at once.

You sit on the edge of his bed awkwardly as you gather your materials. “You have been in here hundreds of times, you can get comfortable” he says “I don’t know what the terms are with us anymore” “just be yourself, y/n.”

It felt surreal, after two months of not talking it didn’t even feel like you were talking to the same person. When Fred used to talk to you he would be sweet and he’d never call you your actual name. Fred had a number of pet names for you, you loved every single one.

“Let’s get started, shall we?” You nod and open your books. It wasn’t a complicated task which you were grateful for, if you worked hard enough you’d be able to finish it today. You barely looked up from your books, you wish George or Lee were here to break the awkwardness.

You were silent for a while as you both were writing down notes on parchment. “Are you seeing anyone?” Fred speaks up breaking the silence, you stall by pretending to finish your sentence.

“No” you answer honestly “Have you been with anyone since we broke up?” “It’s been a month” “that doesn’t answer my question” “No, why does it matter?” “It doesn’t. I haven’t either if it makes you feel better” “thanks but I don’t why you would care. You broke up with me.”

“I miss you” he says “you hurt me” “I know and I am so sorry. I have so many regrets and I wish I could take you back” “you should’ve thought about that before you broke my heart.”

Fred stares at you with those eyes he used to give you when you were mad at him. He leans in to kiss you and you let him. You kiss him back, he breaks the space and leans in further causing you to lay back on his bed as he is on top of you.

You were hating yourself internally for letting him get to you like this but you tried to convince yourself fucking your ex again is healthy.

He starts taking off your clothes swiftly until you’re in your underwear. He kisses down your stomach and pulls down your underwear. You spread your legs apart him and his mouth immediately gets to work.

Fred licks up and down your pussy his tongue teasing your entrance before he replaces his tongue with your fingers. He slowly pushes them in watching how your body reacts.

“Fuck” you groan “look so pretty” he mumbles against your clit. As he fingers you his lips wrap around your clit and he licks and sucks.

You grip the sheets tightly in your hand “Fred. I’m close!” You cry. He could always bring you to your orgasm within minutes. You’d been together for years, he knows your body and it’s needs.

You arch your back letting out a string of moans that include his name in there multiple times. As you calm down from your high you watch as he get undressed, a sight you will never be tired of seeing.

You never want to forget this moment. He gets on top of you and presses a kiss to your forehead “you ready?” He asks and you nod.

He lines himself up with your entrance slowly moving inside you and building up to a good pace. He holds your body close to his and presses a kiss on your lips. You weren’t expecting a sensual love making with your ex but he was trying to win you back and somehow it was working.

“I love you, I miss you” he whispers against your lips, your foreheads touching. “I love you Freddie.”

He presses loving kisses to your lips. “I’m close” you tell him “I’m with you, darling” your breathing becomes heavy as you approach your second orgasm.

You squeeze around him as you finish, he quickly pulls out and cums on your stomach. He cleans you up and lays beside you.

“I want you back” he says “I know and I want you too.”

#exes to lovers #harry potter #hp imagine #smut #harry potter imagine #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley smut #fred weasley fic #fred weasley angst #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley fanfiction

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

A Twist of Fate: No Hard Feelings**^

Thank you everyone for your patience. Here is Part 2 to this star-crossed lovers story. This part really focuses on the break down of the relationships so it can be angsty. Part 3 will be the last one in this short series. READ PART ONE

Series Masterlist

Warnings: sexism, unprotected sex, argumentative and rocky relationships, drug and alcohol use, break ups

WC: 16K

…. JANUARY 2024 ….

The holiday season had been interesting for you and Sebastian. You had gone over to his family’s for the festivities and it was interesting to say the least. You felt like you had transitioned into a weird dystopian dimension after that first dinner.

Seb’s mom wanted his first meal back to be his favorite home cooked meal, a green enchilada casserole; he had been talking about it since you’d left LA. So were excited to try it, so when dinner time came and his mom, Renee, started to serve up a plate of food, you followed suit and she gave you a knowing smile. It confused you but you finished up and followed after her to the table. When Seb glanced up at you with a smile your brows furrowed in confusion; you weren’t sure why Seb was just sitting at the table if he was so excited about this meal? But soon enough you were in front of your seat and set your plate down and then sat. You glanced up when you realized it had grown uncomfortably quiet and everyone was looking at you. When your eyes met Renee’s, she was frozen with the plate she had served her husband laid on the place mat before him. It was then that you noticed that this was not a self-serve situation, you were the only woman at the table and the ladies were serving their husbands before they could sit to eat.

You were mortified. You hadn’t grown up like that, your parents were very lax with gender expectations and roles, your mom wasn’t in charge of cooking and cleaning up after your dad. They were both working so much that they both did everything to keep the household running. Besides, you had never served Sebastian his food. You had cooked for him plenty of times and sure he never cleaned up after himself (unless asked), but he had always fixed his own plates so you had no idea why he would expect it now. It was even more awkward when his sister came in right behind you just moments later and placed a plate of food before him.

“Thanks, Amy.” He smiled and she nodded and looked at you briefly, you swore there was judgement in her eyes, and then everything picked back up again.

After, that it was just awkward and tense. Seb’s mom stepped up the babying for the rest of the trip. You were shocked the amount of work this woman did for her husband and Seb. You started doing the same to blend in, but it had been too late. Christmas Day at lunch, you were heading to the kitchen to offer your help with anything when you overheard his sisters and mother talking to maybe their aunts or other cousins saying how they had all been telling Seb how selfish you were and that you couldn’t take care of him how he needed. It was impressive that just from that one incident they had already discarded you and started shit talking you to Sebastian and others. You were glad when you finally got to leave and get back to LA, but it had been days now and you were still a bit in your head.

“Hey, babe.” Seb hummed as he came into your bedroom.

“Hi.” You offered a smile before glancing back down to your sudoku book. You felt the bed dip and glanced up to see him climbing onto the bed, heading over to your side.

“How was your day?” He asked.

“It was fine. Yours?” You asked as you put down a ‘9’ in it’s designed box.

“Finished another song today, think this will be the single. It has good energy.”

“That’s good.” You hummed as you glanced up at him and when he saw he had your undivided attention he got going. Sebastian started talking about all the things they’d done and how he got inspiration for new lyrics… He’d been talking at you for an hour already, it was nearly midnight and you were tired. Then, in the middle of his story you had the urge to yawn and you did. “Oh sorry, am I boring you?” He asked with irritation and you frowned.

“No, I just yawned. S’late. I was up at 5:30am for that stupid yoga class.” You explained to him and he frowned.

“You’re being weird.” He said.

“What?”

“Ever since we got back you’ve been off.” he said and you sighed. You supposed you should just get your concerns off your chest now.

“OK, so I ummm…I overheard your mom and sisters talking shit about me on Christmas.” You said and he frowned, “And I know they were talking about me to other people and to you.” You said.

“And?” He asked, “I mean, what did you expect after that first night?” He asked you.

“What’d you say when they talked to you about me after that?”

“Nothing…just heard ‘em out. It’s better to not argue with them about their opinions.”

“And is that…is that how you expect me to be?”

“Well, I get that’s not how you grew up. Trust me, meeting your family was a culture shock for me too. But we'll get there. With a little training.” He joked, but it was ill timed, “They know there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me when we’re on more serious turf.” He assured you.

“Ummm…I don’t exactly know what you mean by that.” You said as you straightened up a bit and raised your glasses up to your head. You set your book down as well to really just ensure all of your senses were in tune as you had this conversation.

“I mean that once I move in here we’ll get you to a stage where you’ll feel more comfortable assuming the more traditional feminine role in the house.” He said and you were shocked to hear him say this.

“Traditional feminine- OK, I hope this is not what I’m thinking…”

“And what’s that?”

“You want me to wait on you like that? Like your mom and sisters?” 

“It’s called acts of service.” He countered.

“Babe, i-if I just sat here all day and did nothing outside of the house, then sure! I’d do work here. Your laundry and iron, clean up after you, and fucking spoon feed you if I wanted to. But you also forget one big thing, Seb. This is my house. My name alone is on the mortgage and every other expense. You should be cleaning up after yourself in my house, especially if you invite yourself over for days at a time!” You raised your voice in frustration. 

He looked so offended by what you’d said but this was something that had been frustrating you for quite a while now. Of course you wanted him over, but he just took over your space. He’d stay for days and disrupt everything, like sleep in later than you and not do the bed. Eat and pile up dishes in the sink, he’d leave his dirty laundry and towels on the ground, and he left cups everywhere! But what was most annoying was that he’d leave everything to you. And when you’d call him out on it he’d get it together for a couple days and then go back to his old ways. At first you thought it was just laziness but after spending 10 days with his family you saw that it wasn’t just laziness. Seb had an expectation that you’d soon be doting after him at all times and keeping a nice home for his comfort. He knew that if he’d left a mess you’d eventually grow tired of it and clean it up for him, which was true. But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t gripe about it, but he expected that to diminish and soon become extinct the longer you were together. That was concerning to you and you suddenly found yourself seeing him in a completely different light.

“Well, sorry for taking up your space.” He muttered bitterly as he rolled off the bed and made his way out of your bedroom. 

You didn’t stop him from going, you heard the front door lock and that was that. You hadn’t seen this type of attitude from him before, he had never shared those expectations with you before so you were quite shocked to hear him say that and you still hadn’t quite processed everything he’d said. You immediately called Caitlyn and told her all about your trip and now this.

“…Oh my god, so he’s a chauvinist!” Caitlyn gasped and you hummed.

“I just can’t believe this…I mean if this is really what he expects of me then I can’t be in  this relationship. Of course I believe in doing things, acts of service for your partner, but what he wants is a maid, mother, and lover wrapped up in one! No…just no.” you sighed.

“I agree. I mean, it’s good it’s only been a bit, yeah?”

“I guess so…” you sighed, “I just can’t believe this.” You muttered, your brain felt like it was about to overheat.

“I mean, he’s from a red state, friend. What did you expect?” Caitlyn said joking and then you both sputtered on a laugh. “So…what’re you thinking then?”

“I’m thinking that…” You sighed, “I saw how his mom was with his dad…I couldn’t live like that.” You explained. “I want to feel like I have a partner, not a boss at home. I can’t be with someone like that. I can’t.”

“Yeah.” Caitlyn said in understanding, “I mean, if that’s truly how he is then it’s for the best to just let this go.”

“Yeah, it wouldn’t end well.” You agreed “I think we both need to cool off a bit and then talk about it.” You said with a sigh and she agreed with you. 

You were in a shit mood now and had wandered into the kitchen to grab yourself a bottle of wine and some of those Trader Joes takis. You were soon back in bed and watching a movie as you got drunk and ate your chips. You had a moment of weakness…and against your better judgement you now went on instagram and searched up Harry. You just wanted to see him going about his day, you missed him and knew he’d be so supportive right now, even seeing his smile would be comforting enough. But what you saw coming up had your heart stirring with envy instead of a fuzzy and warm feeling. 

For the first time you felt entirely un-special to him. Just four years prior you’d been at the same fucking Anguillian resort frolicking about on the beaches, lazing around in cabanas, getting day drunk on fruity cocktails, and making love to your hearts content. But there he was again but with another person this time. Well, not just any person, his girlfriend, and it was making your blood boil. Was nothing sacred to this man? Did he have to recycle every single thing to lure another person in? 

And then you clicked on a post and decided to just see it all and you sighed as you looked through the images of him, so gorgeously tan and buff swimming in the ocean and the final image was of her getting her pictures taken on the sand while he enjoyed the warmth of the Caribbean Sea.

“She’s not even getting in the water with you?!” You nearly shouted at your phone, “What a fucking waste of a vacation!” You grumbled. “I would get in the water with you.” You mumbled drunkenly, “No, no…I did! We went there and I did get in the water with you, no one could get us out!” You said as your tears started to streak down your face, “And we did take pictures too, a lot of them. But we went to have fun, not just to take pictures at sunset like influencers who’d never been to a beach before…” you said bitterly and then frowned.

“OK, but she’s so pretty of course she’s having her fucking picture taken instead of getting in the water with you.” You sighed in defeat. “Also it’s her fucking vacation too, so she can do what she wants with her time…” you said to yourself, rationalizing her choices and deciding not to take out your frustration with Seb on her. “I’m not being a girl’s girl right now.” You scolded yourself for your harsh judgements. 

You didn’t even know each other so you had no idea how she was or what her intentions could be at all. But if Harry was with her then she had to be nice and sweet, something that you just weren’t any more. You weren’t being nice when you kissed Harry despite you both being in relationships. You weren’t nice or sweet when you blew up on Sebastian earlier and felt and thought bad things about his family. Instead you were full of spite and sadness. You felt stuck in a loop of negativity that would never end. You were lost, but you didn’t want to be. You wanted to be like you were when you were with Harry. Happy, confident, full of hope…you wanted that back. You were crying so hard and were so drunk after having half a bottle of wine that you just tuckered yourself out.

********

“Tempt fate with me, love. Just one more time.” You heard Harry’s voice purring lowly. You were covered in goosebumps as you nodded, noses nudging lightly.

“OK.” You agreed easily.

“Yeah?” He asked you, grinning wide.

“Yeah.” You agreed happily. 

And then your lips met eagerly with some lingering hesitation. But after your eyes met it completely disappeared and your lips were joining again. And then you were on his lap and his hands were fighting not to grab you in places he shouldn’t, but his resolve melted away quickly and was guiding you over his lap, letting you feel his evident need for you. 

Suddenly you glanced down at him and he was naked except his briefs and you were too, just your bra and panties, both of you impatient and fighting to not take it to the next level. You felt harry’s fingers gliding up your back, right up to the clasp of your bra but not daring to remove it, instead opting to just lose himself in your kisses.

“Just…mmm, wanna touch you, baby.” He whined into your lips.

“Then touch me.” You whispered back.

“Can I? Can I really?” He hummed and you nodded. He was quick to unclasp your bra and bring his hands forward to cup your breasts. When his kisses trailed down to your chest, you leaned back and let him lick at your nipple teasingly before just sucking your perked up little bud between his lips. You were getting so wet for him, grinding down harder and with more intent.

“Please…I need you. I’ve missed you.” You whimpered and he grinned up at you.

“I’ve missed you too. So fucking much.” He said quietly, “What if he comes home and-”

“Then we should be quick.” You panted and he nodded. Magically, his briefs were gone and he was guiding his hard, thick length to your entrance, holding it up so that you could sit over him and get him inside of you, “Can I?”

“Please. Yes, go.” He rushed out and you both moaned in ecstasy and relief at being connected this way once again. 

You rode him slowly, getting used to feeling him deep in your guts like this from how big he was. He was panting and kissing at your neck, his fingers gripping your ass tight as he helped you move over him in ways that were beneficial to the both of you. You picked up your pace then, needing to hurry things along and he groaned against your throat.

“Fuck Y/N, you’re so fucking good.” He mumbled, “Missed you…missed your body, s’my favorite body, baby.” He muttered as he sloppily kissed your neck, “Gonna make me come. But I want t’come inside, can I?”

“Har, I-I don’t know…” you winced as he held you down, his cock impaling deep inside of you. “What about your-”

“Forget everyone else.” He interrupted, “We’re here now, s’just us. It’s us.” He appealed as he started to thrust up.“Don’t tell me you don’t want it like that.” He said, “I know you, love. Know you better than you know yourself.” He mumbled and you choked on a moan as he started to rub your clit.

“Yes, yes please come inside me.” You begged, finally giving in to what it is you wanted.

“Yeah, you want it inside you, my sexy little slut?” He questioned and you moaned and confirmed.

“Yeah, of course you do. You’re a filthy fucking home wrecker, you know that?” He muttered and when you glanced down it wasn’t Harry anymore, it was Sebastian. “Gonna throw me away like that and go after him, aren’t you?” He asked and suddenly you felt stuck in a bad way.

“Please just…” your pleasure was fading fast. He wasn’t fucking you. He was actually fully dressed, just holding you still in his lap and you were stuck there. Still fully naked though, to signify your shame over lusting after Harry. 

“You’ve fucked it up with me and now you’re gonna go fuck up his life too. You selfish, greedy bitch.” He seethed with spite.

************

And that’s when you woke up and immediately started crying again. Already, your head was pounding with inhumane levels of pain from the wine you’d drank the night before. But also the shame you felt for your thoughts the night before…it was monumental and sitting on your chest heavily. You felt like you needed to apologize to them for it, that’s how guilty you felt. 

Obviously, you missed Harry. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since you’d seen each other late last year. You hadn’t even spoken since! He hadn’t made any moves to rekindle the friendship between you as much as you had insisted that that’s what it was all about. Maybe he saw you and just got lost reminiscing the old days, but when he got back home to his girlfriend and his friends he realized that everything was exactly as it should’ve been. Maybe he needed to be with you to verify whether he was going down the right path now and clearly, he was. But you were just lost…so terribly lost.

************

It was a few days later when Sebastian finally came around to talk about your relationship and he was the one to hit you with the break up speech right off the bat. He made it seem like it was all your fault for not being more accommodating to his needs as a man. You had no idea what he meant by that, but you were in no condition or place to argue with him because you had wronged him. He did go off a bit about how he should’ve listened to his sisters and dumped you the moment you came back from their house. He was angry at you for not wanting to change or make compromises for him even though it was your job as the woman to look after him and your home and that’s when you lost your shit.

“THIS ISN’T YOUR HOME, SEBASTIAN!” You shouted with anger boiling over and he stopped talking, “It’s my fucking house! My house. I bought it with my money! I didn’t buy this house because I was planning a future in it with you! I just wanted a place of my own! That’s it! We weren’t even together when I got the house! What makes you feel like you have any sort of ownership over it or me?! You come here to do laundry and charge and wash your car, using my resources without ever even pitching in. You eat my food and use my AC in the summer-”

“Well you know I don’t have the same amenities at my apartment and-”

“Then tell your mom and dad to get you a better one!” You shouted and he frowned, “You’re spoiled and inconsiderate and completely helpless, Sebastian. I can’t be with a person who can’t hold their own or even bother to google what the symbols mean on the tags of your fucking clothes so that you don’t shrink them in the dryer!”

“Well you already know so I was calling you so that you could tell me-”

“I was busy with my fucking label rep! I couldn’t pick up the phone. But the fucking point is that, like you, at some point I didn’t know! I didn’t know a lot of things! So I had to grow the fuck up and figure them out for myself! And that’s the problem with you, you don’t try to figure things out, you don’t face any problems or obstacles, you just back yourself into a corner, telling yourself that you don’t know! You make everyone else jump in and sort things out the second an inconvenience arises for you.” He was pouting now. 

“Is that really how you see me? A spoiled man-child who can’t do things for themselves?”

“Yes.” You said and he chuckled.

“Who changed your tire when you got a flat? Who mows your fucking lawn when the landscapers can’t make it-”

“I can change a fucking tire, Seb! And I can mow a lawn! It’s not fucking rocket science! You insisted on doing those things for me because you said I “wouldn’t do them right”, don’t forget that detail.” You said and he shook his head.

“Well, no one ever wants to be with a know it all so…fuck you.” He said before leaving your house with a loud slam of the front door.

All you could feel was relief. It was like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders and you just wanted to run. So you did, you called up Caitlyn and you drove down to the beach and just ran and ran along the shore until you were shivering from the cold and could hardly feel your nose and lips. You were panting, struggling to take in a nice deep breath as you guys dropped down into the sand. Caitlyn being in much better shape than you wasn’t nearly as winded.

“How much did we run? Like two miles?” You asked as you swallowed thickly and she laughed.

“Try a 3/4’s of a mile…maybe a full one.” She said and you groaned and just let yourself fall back into the sand and stared up at the sky, it was slowly growing darker. You could feel your legs tingling a bit from the constant running, and as you laid there, letting all of your feelings from the past few weeks process you stopped feeling cold. “Want some water?”

“You brought water?”

“Yeah, my camelback.” She said and took it off and handed it to you. You thanked her and sucked some out of the straw before handing it back. “You good?”

“I don’t know…” you said monotonously, “No, actually.”

“Mmmm, I have a joint?” She said and you chuckled.

“Light her up.” You mumbled and she smiled and did just that. 

Soon she was laying back as well as she handed you the joint while she blew out the hit she’d taken. You took your hit as well, holding just a little bit because you were so bad at smoking and it was also bad for you as a singer. You still choked on it and shot up, snatching the water from Caitlyn as she giggled at you.

“God…” you groaned before laying back down, “You know, I saw pictures of Harry on vacation with Taylor the other day…internet stalking is the fucking worst, you know that? Why would you want to do that to yourself?” You asked Caitlyn.

“Mmmm, so nothing catches you by surprise. Or at least that’s what I like about it. I mean, if it’s just speculation at least you have that possible scenario in your head and you can process it before it’s just shoved in your face randomly, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess…I was judging her for not swimming in the ocean with Harry.” You said and then started laughing, “I don’t know why that particular thing pissed me off so much!” You laughed and Caitlyn did too, “Like what’s so fucking special about swimming that just triggered me…so ridiculous.” You mumbled.

“Just a bit…” she said.

“I think I’m starting to realize that…nothing about us was really special. Like we did all the things they do now just in secret…it’s like…I’m watching my relationship with him being reenacted.” You said with welled up eyes, but you didn’t cry this time. “It’s…it’s so weird.” You hummed and then you were silent for a few minutes, passing the joint back and forth.

“Wanna hear a rumor I heard?” Caitlyn said and you turned to her in interest, “I heard from Mer that-”

“Mer Winston? You’re still friends?”

“Oh yeah, we talk all the time.” Caitlyn confirmed, “But she said that they got in a huge fight before Christmas, he came over and had this whole venting session with them over lunch one day. And she said that H had a lot of making up to do if he wanted to make it work with her.”

“I hope that wasn’t my fault.” You mumbled.

“Maybe he decided to tell her about meeting up with you.”

“Maybe…” you sighed, “We haven’t talked at all or anything like that. It was part of the deal. If things were meant to happen then they would.” You said and Caitlyn hummed. 

“Maybe it’s like an apology vacation…”

“Who knows, but like…they’re there now so whatever…”

“Harry’s a bit annoying though, isn’t he? Like clingy if I recall? Like lanky ass wrapped around you all the fucking time, no?” Caitlyn asked and you chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah, sounds about right…”

“Then why wasn’t he clinging to her? I saw the pictures too, by the way…” she added and you chuckled.

“Maybe he was? But he gets nervous when he knows people are watching.” You explained. “And besides, you should be the voice of reason here, not the conspiracy theorist!” You reprimanded and she chuckled as she handed you the last bit of the joint and you declined.

“Sorry, it’s the weed.” She said and you sighed.

“Well I’m not feeling shit.” You said, still completely sober.

“You’re not doing it right, s’why.” She laughed and you huffed.

“Damaging my lungs for nothing…” you muttered.

“I assure you with how shallow your inhales are that shit didn’t reach your lungs.” She cackled and she couldn’t stop from there. 

You walked back to where you parked with your arms linked together as you talked about other things. You were fine now, you just needed to get all the emotions out of your system. And well, just because your relationship had ended it didn’t mean that Harry was meant for you. Or you for him. All this meant was that Sebastian wasn’t right for you and you weren’t right for him. And as you walked along the shore you decided that you weren’t going to seek Harry out, you were going to forget about the little deal you made yourselves, that was just wishful thinking and you couldn’t set yourself up for disappointment like that. He was just so far away, it wasn’t cute, it wasn’t realistic, it was just sadistic and psychologically damaging. If you love someone you let them go. 

“I know this is so gross but I have to use the bathrooms here before they close.” Caitlyn said and you chuckled and nodded and she took off for the bathrooms. You just wandered back to the concrete wall that separated the pavement from the sand. The sun was just about to disappear and it felt so perfectly poetic. It was cathartic, thinking of him while the sun set second by second. And when the last little sliver started to fade you smiled and exhaled shakily before whispering.

“Bye, Harry.” 

*************

The news of your breakup with Sebastian had come swiftly to the public as the very next day Seb released a statement via an Instagram post asking for “privacy in this difficult time”. It was interesting to you because he was the one who did the dumping. But then the questions started pouring in from your manager and publicists and you confirmed that you’d broken up and explained why and they decided that they would not give him the satisfaction or even an acknowledgement with a confirmation to the media.

You did get papped outside of your preferred grocery store the week after he announced the break up and you believed it was to do with the fact that you nor your team had done a thing to acknowledge his announcement. You had a strict plan for grocery shopping as to prevent being papped or seen by too many people and the one person who knew that apart from Caitlyn was him. So it was about 9 at night and the paps were bombarding you with questions about this break up as you unloaded your groceries into the car and all you said was “Yep, Seb broke up with me.” with a bright smile. You wanted to give “Nicole Kidman divorced from psycho cult follower, Tom Cruise” vibes. You felt like you’d escaped a super shitty future. You were sure he could find someone who would happily be all the things he wanted them to be for him, but that’s certainly not what you wanted from a relationship. You did wish him well, but that was all there was to it.

Unfortunately for Sebastian, his plot with the paps backfired a bit. People were pointing out that you seemed happy and relieved about the breakup as you just carried on with life. And then that turned into speculations that he wrote that post on instagram for some compassion from the public since he had broken up with you. And yeah, that was all true, but you weren’t going to fuel the fire. The public could be your bestest friend of your greatest foe, so it was better not to try and involve the masses when possible. That’s something you had learned from Harry, regardless of whether things were good or bad, the public always had something to say and the best thing to do was not to give them any ammunition.  

*************

Harry’s POV:

Harry had heard about your break up through the grapevine and his first instinct was to check up on you. It’d been a few days and he was still teetering on the edge of whether he should or not, he’d have to go through some lengths to do so, but he wanted to. Admittedly, he was already on thin ice…

When he got back from LA he was just really in his head about everything and when Tay asked what was up he was honest with her. Except the kiss, he didn’t tell her about the kiss. But he shared with her that he asked to see you. He told her that he chose to stay longer in hopes to see you again. He was honest about why he didn’t want to tell her that he wanted to hang out with you. He was honest about how much shit it stirred up in him to have run into you. Obviously, she was pissed at him, even said it was probably over, he had never seen her angry before but it came at him strong and she was gone for a few days. That’s when he took advantage to talk about all this to someone else, so he made his way over for lunch with Ben and Meredith and told them all of it.

Once it was off his chest he reached out to fix things with his girlfriend. And while she agreed to work through this with him there had been a lot of conditions given until he regained the trust that he had broken. She wanted him to remove your number from his phone because as she’d put it, he had no business trying to talk to you while you were in a relationship and while he was in a relationship. He genuinely couldn’t argue with that logic so he did right there in her face so that she could see for herself. She also wanted to understand what it was about you that made him suddenly lose all his self control. And against his better judgment he told her about you and he saw for himself how the more he spoke, the bigger the hole he dug for himself. 

The holidays were a little weird, there was still some tension and it was good that she got to be around his family to distract a bit from all the hurt and anger that was still lingering beneath the surface. So when the new year came by he suggested they get out of town, have a nice little change of pace to start out their year together. And now here they were, he had just seen another post about you and Sebastian being over and he just needed to check.

“Mate, d-do you think you can reach out to Jen and get Y/N’s number?” Harry asked Tom quietly.

“Jen?”

“Yeah, Jen Lockley, her manager.” He said and Tommy sighed.

“I know that I work for you, but this is stupid, H. Is this really something you want to be doing? Especially with the situation you’re in right now.” He admonished.

“Look, her boyfriend just broke up with her, I just want to make sure she’s OK.” He explained and Tommy sighed and pulled out his phone and was typing something up before handing his phone over. It was a video of you getting papped, smiling bright as you confirmed the break up.

“She’s fine.” He assured.

“OK.” He sighed.

“Why is she so happy about it?” Tommy asked.

“I don’t know…maybe if I talked to her I’d know.”

“So this has nothing to do with you?” He asked.

“No! I just came and asked you for her number! If that’s not an act of desperation, I don’t know what is…”

“So what are you trying to do here? Are you not as happy as you let on or what?”

“I am, I just…I miss her. She was my best friend, you know? I was rocked when I saw her. I didn’t expect to feel as much as I did. I couldn’t help that, running into her was out my control.” He explained

“Yeah, I get that. But look, you’ve got someone really great right in front of you.”

“I know that…s’just, different. She’s a different person.” Harry said, “Which is great, it’s just…different.” He said again.

“Was that relationship the one that like…changed everything?” He asked and Harry nodded. Tommy had been working with Jeffrey for a while, but he and Harry only started getting close after Jeffrey and Glenne got married, he wasn’t with you by then anymore. So he hadn’t really seen your relationship like everyone else had.

“Yeah. I wanted to marry her. Have a baby with her, everything. We met when I was still in the band, she’s was there for the whole transition out of it, she helped me with my songs for my first album…we grew up together, you know? Challenged each other, encouraged each other.”

“And you ended it because?”

“We were both way too busy, we hardly had time to see each other during the last 2 years we were togther. We were doing extreme things just to have a weekend together, you know? It was draining and exhausting for the both of us so ummm…we just decided to end it.”

“Well, regardless of how you feel now, it’s over H. I just don’t want you to…to look past what you have now just because you’re clinging to the past.”

“Well what if she’s in my future?” He asked and Tommy sighed.

“If that’s really how you feel then what are you doing here with someone else? What’s the point? Just killing time until you can have the person you want?”

“It’s not like I don’t love Tay, I just…also love Y/N. I think I’ll always love her and I’ll always wonder about her. She’s the one that…got away, so it’s always going to be like this.”

“Does your girlfriend know that?”

“I think she’s starting to figure it out…” Harry sighed.

“Well if that’s how it is you still need to focus on the relationship you’re in now. You have nothing going on with Y/N, not even a friendship, so you need to be present. Turn a new page, like you promised.”

“I will. I will.” He repeated, almost as if trying to convince himself more than Tommy. 

Tommy could understand why it was hard for Harry to just move on when he felt like the person that was his person was slowly pulling further and further from his reach. He believed that you could be torn between two people, love more than one person at a time, but not everyone accepted that kind of love or relationship. He didn’t think Harry would start a full blown affair with you, but for some it was worse in a way, knowing that their partner felt love for them and someone else. It couldn’t be easy for Taylor to come to terms with that; especially if she wasn’t aware that Harry even had the ability to love this way. Or that there was someone who had the ability to affect him that much that wasn’t her.

“I know this is fucking unfair of me but I really just have no control over these feelings, mate. I saw her again and it hit me like a fucking train that I love her, you know? It’s weird for me too to suddenly have all these different feelings for someone else when I thought I had moved on; it was unexpected. I even…love her in a different way than I do Taylor.” Harry explained with a furrowed brow.

“Well don’t say that to her. Ever.” Tommy advised.

“Well, I just think she’s understanding this all wrong…like she thinks that seeing Y/N raised up some conflict or doubts in me about our relationship. That I’m “torn” between options and it’s not that at all. I enjoy our relationship and I love being with her, so much, but it’s not what Y/N and I had. So I’m not looking for that in Tay nor am I comparing her to Y/N at all. Like I love Taylor for Taylor and what she does for me and how we function together. But I also love Y/N for all of what we had and all that we could possibly be. It’s completely separate…she’s still on this “emotional cheating” argument, which I get what she means. But it’s not like I’m looking for something she’s lacking, you know? I’m not even looking for anything else with anyone else. It’s just feelings.”

“Love is a big feeling, H.” Tommy said. “It’s getting messy.”

“I know and like…she just wants me to let it go and move on which is impossible. I can’t just stop loving Y/N on command, you know? If it’s going to happen it’s going to take a lot of time. I mean, I thought I was past all this until we were face to face. Who’s to say that won’t happen again 10 years from now or something?”

“Yeah, I see your dilemma.” Tommy hummed. “I mean, the fact that you deleted her number should be a good start for Tay. Show her that you’re willing to just focus on you two.”

“Yeah…”

“I mean, you get why you guys can’t even be friends, right?”

“Of course, I do. It just…it sucks.” He sighed.

************

Harry didn’t think Taylor would be keeping an eye out for you after he deleted your number, but she was. And it was late and he was tired and a little sunburnt and he just wanted to plop into bed after his cold shower, but the concerned look on her face made him realize that something was about to go down that would prevent him from resting as he hoped.

“What’s the matter, love?” He asked right away instead of waiting for her to get around to stating the problem.

“She broke up with him.” She said to him with a slightly nervous tone.

“Who broke up with who?” He asked, playing dumb.

“Y/N, with Sebastian. My friend just send this to me.” She said turning her phone to him as he came over to the bed. It was a tabloid cover with the news.

“Well good for her, he was kind of a prick.” Harry said as he climbed in.

“So you’re happy about this?”

“If she’s happy about it then yeah. And again, I’m not his biggest fan, so why wouldn’t I be?” He questioned.

“I’m sure she’s doing it for you.” She said with a slightly accusatory tone, “Does that make you happy too?” She asked him, challenging him. Harry sighed and rolled his eyes.

“She’s not doing it for me. When we talked she was telling me that they were having some issues that she was having a hard time getting past. Seems like it was coming. Maybe they both reached their breaking points.” He reasoned. But the thought did cross his mind, was she sending him a sign?

“Harry, I hate feeling this way…” she said, “This isn’t me.” She shook her head, “You know this isn’t me. But I feel…like we’re up in the air.” She repeated and he sighed.

“I’m sorry.” All he could really do was apologize. “You have no reason to feel that way though, babe. I’m not looking for anything with Y/N, love. When I said I still have feelings for her, it’s just that, they’re feelings. But we’re not gonna talk, I’m never gonna see her again-”

“You don’t know that, Harry.” She interrupted.

“Well, not on purpose, I won’t, not if you don’t want me to.” He said and she sighed.

“My whole point is that I shouldn’t have to put restrictions on you, like a child! I should be able to trust that you won’t hurt me.”

“Then trust me. I’m not going to do anything with this.” He assured and she pouted.

“What if you never stop loving her?” She asked him and he sighed.

“Babe, I don’t know…”

“Well what then? I just have to live in her shadow for however long we’re together? What if that’s my whole life?” She asked with a frown and he was getting a bit frustrated that people weren’t understanding that this wasn’t a competition for him.

“Babe, it’s not like that…you’re not in her shadow because you’re never going to be her!” He groaned and she frowned, “Let me finish.You’re not Y/N and Y/N’s not ever going to be you. It’s not a competition…I don’t want you to give me what I had with her. I like what we have now. I’m not comparing, I’m not trying to get pieces of that relationship back through you. They’re two mutually exclusive things! If I continue to be here for you how you need, and I’m faithful, and supportive, and am fulfilling all of those duties we talked about… how do my feelings for her impact us?” He asked.

“See, to me that feels like a cop out.” She said and Harry sighed.

“How?! How on earth?”

“Because you can continue loving her for the rest of your life if you want under this mentality you have! What if loving her from afar stops being enough? I don’t want to share you with someone else! That’s not what I signed up for.”

“You’re not sharing me with anyone!” He groaned.

“See that’s what you’re not getting, Harry. I know you feel you’re not and you can even make the distinction, but I can’t do that, H. I don’t function that way. How do I know that one day your mind won’t change and you’ll want to be with her instead of me since you’ve kept this channel open?” She asked.

“My feelings for you can start to change at any given moment for any number of reasons that are completely unrelated to Y/N, so-”

“You’re a dick.” She said and got out of bed and just locked herself in the bathroom. 

He tried to explain what it was he was trying to convey but Tommy was right, this was getting messy. She said she’d only come out when he was out of the bedroom so he made his way to the general area of the large condo style suite they’d rented out at the resort and just laid on the couch. If there was an off-switch to loving you, Harry would’ve made use of it ages ago. It wasn’t easy to love someone who life kept pushing out of your reach. He just loved you 

from afar, he reckons he always would.

…. February 2024 ….

You were at your wits end with Sebastian. It took him about a month of you two being broken up before he started trying to spark things up between the two of you again. You wanted to believe it was because he’s considered his antiquated (in your opinion) expectations of you, but your gut told you it had more to do with the fact that you were what gave him more exposure. You hadn’t really run into him anywhere during awards season or even any parties, though he had been persistent to talk to you. You’d declined and rejected him so many times, yet once again, you got home from the studio to see your assistant had left yet another fresh bouquet of roses on the console table you had by the door. You sighed and grabbed the little card that was tucked in among the greenery.

Thinking of you today, Y/N. I hope we can talk or see each other soon. I’ll be waiting.

- XO, Seb

You sighed as you picked out the little card and crumbled it in your hand. Now you had a dozen red roses you had no use for. It irked you quite a bit, like everything was though as of late. This foulness of your mood was brought on by the visit of a mutual friend a few weeks prior. They were based in London though, so you hadn’t seen each other face to face in at least three year. But when you met up, they talked about your old circle in London, and obviously that led to the mentioning of Harry and how happy he was with Taylor. They said that the pair had been traveling together a lot, and just really immersing themselves in what they had going on. Hearing that solidified your decision to just steer clear of anything that had to do with Harry. Especially if he was really focused on making things work in his current relationship, as he should! But this also reminded you that you really needed to move on and not just say you would, like you often did. You slipped out of your loafers and migrated to the kitchen to figure out your dinner when your phone started ringing and you glanced down to see it was one of the guys from the studio.

“Hey Ricky, what’s up?” You asked with some pep.

“Hey Y/N, it’s going good. We’re almost done with the single. Ummm, I was actually calling about something else though. You know how my younger sister’s in a band?” He asked.

“Yeah…” you said as you opened up your fridge.

“So they’re doing this charity concert to raise money for an emergency student fund for students in financial need at UCSD. She asked me to run the sound system and if I could rope in any friends to volunteer for the main performance last minute? They’ve got a few local bands and singers lined up and them plus a surprise guest is what they hoped. But the surprise guest decided to drop out since they weren’t going to be paid.”

“What an ass.”

“I know, they knew about it too! It’s for charity!” He said, “Obviously, they’re at a loss and don’t want the event to flop. I told my sister she had one favor a year and she called it. So I was wondering if-”

“Oh my god, you don’t even have to ask. It’s for a good cause! When is it?” You asked.

“It’s going to be on March 9th, it’s a Saturday, at the SDSU amphitheater.” He shared and she pulled her phone away to put him on speaker and look at her calendar.

“Ummm, I don’t believe I have anything lined up for that weekend…yeah, no. I’m all clear so I can definitely participate.” You assured.

“Seriously?!” Ricky asked in disbelief, “Like they can’t pay anything though. The school pitched in for some thank you gifts, that’s all.” He said and you chuckled.

“No problem. I would love to help out.”

“You’re a saint! Let me text you her information so that you can reach out to her and get the lowdown on all this.”

“Sounds good.”

“Thank you, Y/N. Seriously, thank you so much! You’re the tenth person I’ve called.” Ricky confessed.

“Ummm?” You exclaimed, face twisted in full offense, “I’m offended that I’m the tenth choice.” You chuckled, “Unless you were like calling in personal favors from like Lana or Rihanna.” You added and he chuckled.

“No…I just know you’ve been going through a bit emotionally lately, so I didn’t want to rope you into anything last minute and burden you with anything else.” He explained.

“Oh, I’m up for anything that involves singing.” You assured him and he chuckled.

“Well thank you, she’s going to be so happy about this. She’s kind of a fan…” Ricky sighed in relief and you chuckled.

“Anytime. See you tomorrow?”

“Yep. Have a good night.”

“I will. And Ricky, don’t stay too late, please.” You said and he chuckled.

“I’ll try…” he mumbled and you both chuckled before hanging up.  

…. MARCH 2024 ….

Time had flown by and you had rehearsed with Alondra, Ricky’s sister, and her band the weekend before the show. You’d actually spent the weekend with them, at Marisol, their drummer’s house. You’d all slept over and they took you around to some of the low-key spots in the area. You really enjoyed spending the weekend with them, Marisol’s parents were so sweet and hospitable. But on Sunday afternoon you moved to an AirBnB that was closer to the campus and would provide you all plenty of space and privacy to rehearse later in the week. Ricky drove up on Tuesday night with Caitlyn and Melissa to stay with you for the rest of the time as well.

On Friday night you were doing your rehearsal/soundcheck at the amphitheater right before the city’s noise curfew. This was because there weren’t as many people on campus around at that hour and a larger area had already been blocked off from public access for the event. So thankfully you guys finished that quite fast and Ricky had all your settings down for the following day.

“You guys sounded so good.” Ricky assured as his arm draped around Alondra’s shoulder as you guys rallied up on the now cleared stage.

“Yeah?” She asked and he nodded with pride.

“OK, so are we getting drinks or what?” Their keyboard player, Pablo interrupted, “I need something to distract me, please.” He mumbled and you frowned, you had no idea what was wrong, but going out to get shit faced before a gig day was a poor idea.

“Well in the interest of ensuring you don’t feel like shit tomorrow, we can go to the house? We have a pool and hot tub, and I know Caitlyn has weed on her, and we can get drinks and order food?” You suggested.

“You’re really just giving away your friend’s weed?” Pablo chuckled.

“I can get her more.” You chuckled, “What do you guys say?” You wanted to ensure that whatever had Pablo so worked up didn’t make him lose control.

“I like it, let’s do it.” Alondra said and with that you were making your way over to the AirBnB. 

After making your purchases and just ordering some pizza’s you guys were all hanging out in the patio enjoying the refreshing breeze of the night. Pablo was definitely a little crossed and looking quite bummed out. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but didn’t want to seem nosy. So you headed inside to find Alondra, she had gone in to get herself some water.

“Hey, what’s wrong with Pablo?” You asked as you came into the kitchen.

“Oh, he found out that his ex-girlfriend is now dating one of the guys from another band that will be playing tomorrow, he saw her name on their guest list. They haven’t seen each other since the break up which actually was maybe a year ago. It was just a really sad time for him.” She explained quietly.

“Oh…yeah, running into an ex can be weird after so long.” You shared from personal experience.

“Yeah, they’d been together since high school, so I think the relationship had just run its course and she knew it, but he didn’t see it like that. He talked about marrying her and having kids with her all the time and she’s so sweet, but he was just really giving up on everything else to stay with her and she didn’t want that for him, so she ended it before he sacrificed too much, you know?”

“Yeah, I know how that is…” you assured. And suddenly you heard a familiar song play loudly from the outside…

“No hard feelings honey

There’ll be no bad blood

Losing your love has been hard enough

Life can be short, but life can be sweet

No hard feelings honey, the next time we meet”

Your heart shriveled in your chest because this song had been played a lot by you. The single had come out maybe a month or two after you and Harry ended things. You’d cried so much to this song, it still made you feel things, clearly. You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard Pablo and Caitlyn all singing along loudly and you and Alondra rushed outside as Ricky smiled at you guys. Pablo was sandwiched between Caitlyn and Jesse, the bassist, as a few tears streamed down his face as he sang the lyrics to “No Hard Feelings”.

“We need to add this to the set list…please!” He sniffled as he stopped singing along, “I learned how to play it a bit ago. Please….” He begged Alondra with tearful, puppy dog eyes.

“I mean, w-we can, but I actually don’t know this song, I don’t think I can get it down by tomorrow.” She explained. Pablo was not a singer, he hated it, so he glanced to Marisol who also was not all that confident in learning the song right now for a performance the next day.

“Y/N?” He turned to you, “Do you know it?” He asked you.

“She does!” Caitlyn cut in, “Sing it with him!” She pouted at you and you glanced to Pablo who looked so hopeful now and you forced a smile.

“I do. I also know the bass part.” You shared and he smiled.

“I just want her to know that I’m glad she’s happy. It hurts, but I’m so happy for her.” He said and everyone hummed in understanding and then Caitlyn’s eyes glanced to yours as you swallowed thickly. ‘SORRY’ she mouthed to you when she realized what she’d done and you just smiled at her to assure her it was fine. Even if it wasn’t, it had to be fine.

The next morning Pablo was up with you, earlier than everyone else, and with some coffee in your hands you got to figuring out an arrangement. Luckily, Ricky had brought along a guitar, bass, and travel sized amp for the work you’d be doing during the week and so you practiced on that. There was a piano in the house, so Pablo practiced on that for now. You were both so familiar with the song that it was so fast to get an arrangement set and for your guys to get it down. You had agreed on starting out the first verse/chorus with the keyboard like in the lullaby version and then you’d come in with the bass and transition into the regular studio version. You went over it a handful of times before deciding that it was perfect.

And so far, it was going perfect, the concert was sold out and the bands were doing great. People were singing along and having a nice time. You didn’t get nervous so much anymore, but it nearing the end of the show and you were waiting back stage to have Alondra call you out to play alone with Pablo.

“Thank you everyone.” Alondra spoke into the mic, “Before we wrap it up, we have just a couple more songs for you guys.” she said and the crowd cheered, “Thanks, you guys are great. Now, we’re going to bring Y/N out one more time for a special song with Pablo.” and upon mentioning your name the crowd started to cheer louder, “We hope you like this one.” She smiled and moved away from the mic. 

Jesse took off his bass and handed it to you. You got it on as you walked further onto the stage. You smiled as you got it in a comfortable position  and glanced to Pablo who nodded that he was ready to go. You felt your stomach swirling with nerves and nostalgia, but you had to use that to push forward. You let out a long exhale as you gave the bass a couple plucks to test the volume in your earpiece and when that was good you walked up to mic properly.

“Please be gentle with this one.” You said softly and then glanced back to Pablo and gave him one more nod as you inhaled and started to sing.

You faintly heard some gasps and coos when people recognized what you were singing before everyone fell mostly silent and just listened. The entire amphitheater started to light up with flashlights from people’s phones, making the moment feel magical as well as solemn as you sang through the first two verses. When you got to the instrumental you angled yourself towards Pablo to be able to see his cues. You then turned back to the mic as you guys got ready for the final verse, you eased out of playing the bass and went back to just Pablo playing the keyboard, letting his final note resonate as you took a deep breath as you leaned into the mic. And when your eyes shut gently to envision the words Harry’s face appeared and you knew your facade would crumble.

“The threads that kept us together were already wearing thin…” your voice faded into breathy whisper as a huge knot formed in your throat. Pablo noticed and you swallowed thickly and he slowed his tempo to let you get to the next part, “Would we ever have tied the knot? Well how long is a piece of string?” You sang sweetly as your tears started to silently streak down your face. “And for everything that ends, something else must begin…” Your voice cracked as you inhaled shakily to finish the song. The crowd cheered you on, giving you the courage to finish the song, “No hard feelings, honey. And we both will take the win.” You finished softly and you quickly turned away from the mic as a sob escaped you. The audience was so kind and generous with you two as an also crying Pablo came up and hugged you tight.

“You were so good…thank you for doing this for me.” He hummed before he let you go. Your hands squeezed his and you nodded and smiled at him before waving and walking off stage for the final time. You couldn’t even hear Alondra’s final thanks as you hurried down the steps to find a place to be alone and cry it out for just a bit before you had to face everyone again.

**************

You kind of felt like an idiot for agreeing to sing this song with Pablo over the weekend because the performance had gone viral overnight. Then, first thing Monday, the university’s media department posted a full length, HQ video of it. Obviously, the story was that you delivered such an emotional and beautiful performance because your break up with Sebastian was so fresh. A bunch of reporters and blogs had reached out for commentary and you had declined, of course. That didn’t stop Sebastian from reaching out several times trying to reconcile things between you two. It had all been turned into one big, chaotic, and raging dumpster fire.

Noticing the chaos that had ensued from his performance you were invited out to a wine bar with a couple friends just to loosen up. And on your way out you were swarmed by a small group of paparazzi, and as you tried to get through, one of the paps asked about how you were actually coping with the break up because you had seemed happy about it before. Then, another asked if the performance was for Sebastian. Maybe it was because you were a bit drunk, but you decided to give a response because you didn’t want to keep encouraging Seb.

“Look, that song is just special to me, it has been for years. And performing it kind of transported me back to that time of my life where it was my lifeline.” You explained, “There’s a lot of history with this song and a lot of feelings I had been holding in for a while came out during the performance, that’s all.” You explained, “I promise, I’m fine and everything’s good with the break up.” You assured before being tugged away by Ricky to his car as he muttered something about you not owning anyone any explanations.

****************

HARRY’S POV:

Harry was sure that everything had been going well between him and Taylor. He really had focused on her and on them and things had been going great. She had been back to her old self and then at some point over the weekend something shifted because she was a bit annoyed again and it only got worse during the week. Harry figured it was something personal because he was pretty sure that he had done nothing to illicit any type of irritation from her. But he could see she was having a hard time with not taking out any frustration on him so he decided to ask, just in case.

“Babe, is everything alright?” He asked as he strolled into the entertainment room, she’d been in there reading after dinner. When she glanced up he was met with an exasperated and somewhat angry expression and he wished he had left it alone, “Have I done something?” He followed up as he sat at the edge of cushion with her legs on it. “Please tell me if I have, I thought we were doing good.” He said as one of his hands smoothed up her ankle to her knee, this was to placate both him and her. He really needed to know because he felt like he was walking on eggshells the last few days.

“No, H. You’re…good. I’m sorry, I’m just really trying my best not to take my frustration out on you for something that I know isn’t really your issue-”

“OK, well what is it? Maybe I can help.” He offered.

“No, it’s super insignificant and stupid…”

“I think not if it has you in this state, babe.” He countered her logic. “C’mon, let me help you.” He insisted and she shook her head.

“Trust me, Harry, you don’t need to know about this.” She assured. That made him a bit annoyed because whether she meant to or not, she was being weird with him and he wanted it to stop.

“Well I think I do. You’re trying not to take it out on me but you’re still acting strange and  cold and are super irritable anyway so-”

“It’s freaking Y/N, OK!?” She finally said, voice raised and laced with irritation. Harry frowned and now his anger was aimed at you. Had you said something to Taylor? He couldn’t see a world in which you would, but maybe you had. And well whatever it was, it had to have been really personal for her to be reacting like this and being upset over it for days now.

“OK? Did she do or say something to you?” He asked and she sighed.

“No…not directly, but she…she’s doing a bad job at fixing that stunt she pulled over the weekend and-”

“What? What stunt?” He asked. He really had completely blocked out anything about you because he didn’t want to make Taylor feel like he was keeping tabs on you or his options open. So he truly had no idea what you had done or were up to recently.

“She sang at some college charity show and she sang this song…but she did it on purpose because the song’s about you! It’s a break up song about seeing your ex again!” She insisted. Harry’s curiosity was piqued. What song had you sang that she was so sure it was about him? 

“Maybe it was about her recent break up, babe.” He tried to think of anything else that would make her let this go and not worry about it so much.

“Not according to what she told the paparazzi yesterday.” She added and Harry sighed but couldn’t prevent the chuckle that slipped past his mouth.

“Oh my god, love…since when do we care about anything the paps have to say? Hmmm?” He asked and she sighed. 

“There’s video.” She informed. “I’ve seen it…multiple times, much to my misfortune” she shared and upon hearing this Harry felt defeat overcome him. He needed to choose his next words carefully, because it was something that might upset her further, but she needed to hear.

“Look, I know you have every right to be wary of this and even to doubt me, but babe, this has gone too far. Way too far.” Harry stated his concern and she sighed, the same defeated look over her face.

“I know, babe. I know it has.” She admitted.

“I just…I’m trying to understand it, babe.” He sighed with confusion, “All this time I’ve been putting all of my focus on us and improving our relationship, like I told you I would. And  honestly, t’s feeling like you hardly notice or care for it all because all you do is obsess over my ex!” He explained his feelings, evidently quite forlorn.

“The ex you still love, H.” She reminded him of that pertinent detail. Harry nodded in understanding and scoffed out a defeated laugh.

“Tay, I can’t do anything else to prove to you that I love you and am committed to you. I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to get you to just be here again. Please, just be here with me.” He beckoned she blinked rapidly as she drew her eyes up to the ceiling.

“I feel like I’m losing my mind too.” She confessed softly, “I promise I’m trying to move past this, H. I am. But honestly, I’m starting to think that maybe I just…can’t.” she confessed and he nodded silently. “I see the effort, babe. Thank you for it, I appreciate it, I promise you, I do.” She insisted, “I just…kind of wish you had never said anything to me about this…” she confessed. Harry was feeling that way too. He should’ve just made something up about why he was acting strange. 

“I think I’m just going t’go to bed. Sleep on it, hopefully wake up feeling a bit more optimistic about this than today.” She said and he nodded as she got up from he couch.

“I love you, sleep well.” He said. She leaned over him and kissed his forehead and gave him a smile before leaving him alone.

Harry felt super shit now. He had fucked up a catastrophic amount. He truly did regret being honest about the situation with you. He should’ve kept it to himself because now things were just getting weird. Sure, he was a bit annoyed with Taylor’s recent hobby of stalking you, but he couldn’t blame her or label her insane for it, he had done that to her. And for the first time he truly questioned what it was that he had gone and done with you. She didn’t deserve to doubt herself or their relationship like she was now. They were both having a miserable time and it was entirely his fault. He wasn’t sure what to do from here, he didn’t even know if there was anything he could do to help fix this.

*************

It took Harry a few days before he decided to look up the videos Taylor was talking about to see for himself why she was struggling so much to let this one go. But when he saw the video of you singing “No Hard Feelings” with so much emotion he knew it had nothing to do with Sebastian. He had to force down the growing lump in his throat and blink away the tears accumulating in his eyes, this felt like a goodbye from you almost and it confused him. The emotion was definitely tangible even weeks later though a screen, he could understand why it was haunting Taylor. And then he saw the pap video she mentioned, he couldn’t agree that what you had said was damning evidence, but if she felt that way, what could he do? He wasn’t going to tell her he watched them. They did make him want to call you though, but of course he’d leave it alone and decided against it, both for his and Taylor’s sake. 

Instead, he called Caitlyn, he needed to see what in the world you had been thinking when you decided to do that. He was genuinely curious. Of course, he first texted her to let her know he wanted to talk when she could. He didn’t want to just spring a call on her and risk you being there. And finally, the time they had agreed to talk had come and she was calling him. He strolled out to his back yard, taking advantage of the evening breeze while Taylor got ready. They were going to Mitch and Sarah’s place for dinner in a bit.

“Hey, Har!” Caitlyn greeted him energetically for her time of day.

“Hiya.” He greeted, “You sound chipper.”

“Just came in from a jazzercise class.” She explained and he chuckled.

“Oh shit, did it go well?”

“Yeah. It was really fun. How are you? How’s it going?”

“I’m alright, but it’s been a bit…tough.”

“Did something happen?”

“Well I told Taylor about seeing Y/N, so I’ve been making up for that…but I guess there was a show a couple weeks ago and she sang a song that has her a bit upset. She feels like Y/N did it on purpose I guess, to like…bait me in or something. And then she said some bit about it being important to her in the past and that’s kind of what…made Tay just lose it a bit.” He explained and Caitlyn hummed.

“Well, the song wasn’t to bait you, it’s kind of my fault she ended up singing it. The guy she played it with found out his ex was going to be at the show with someone else just the night before and he wanted to sing it for her. It was very last minute…she was the only one who knew the song well enough to pull it off with him the very next day. I volunteered her and put her in a difficult position where she couldn’t really decline…I knew she knew the song because she did listen to it a lot after…I didn’t know it would…affect her like that though.” She explained sadly, “I’m sorry it caused trouble for you, H.” Caitlyn apologized.

“It’s alright, Cait.” He assured. Now that he understood the context he felt relieved. He knew you weren’t a petty person like he could be, and he was a bit upset at himself for even considering that you would actually do something on purpose to bait him or cause turmoil in his relationship.

“I just feel awful…as you probably know now, she’s gone viral for it and it’s caused her some problems. It was such a vulnerable moment that she didn’t expect either so I know she hates that it’s kind of blown her up a bit.”

“I mean, she sounded incredible and it was just so sincere. Of course everyone’s obsessed with it.” He said with understanding.

“Yeah. She just feels really exposed, I think. And also, when she said that to the pap, about it being something form her past, she was super drunk. She called me the next morning asking if it sounded as awful as she felt it did, which I personally don’t think it did. But I mean, I could understand why Tay’s feeling upset about this.” Caitlyn said and Harry nodded.

“Yeah…I just don’t know what I can do to…fix this.”

“That bad?”

“Yeah…a few days ago she said that she wasn’t sure if she could get past all this. I don’t blame her…it’s a lot to get past.”

“Well what did you say to her when you told her about Y/N?”

“I…admitted that I still had feelings for her.” He sighed and Caitlyn did as well, “But like, I didn’t even know that for sure until she was right in my face. Like I knew I missed her, but just being with her again, it just brought everything that I’d been repressing up to the surface. I regret being honest with Tay, about it all.” He sighed, “She regrets it too apparently. Wishes I never said anything.” He added with defeat.

“Well it is quite a lot to get through. Especially if she knows you still have deep feelings for Y/N. It can be scary thinking that you’ve given your whole heart to someone only to discover that you’re not the only one they love.” She explained “She might feel like a place holder until you and Y/N can get back together.”

“Well she’s not. I love her too.”

“I know, but that just doesn’t work for some people, H. Maybe this is what’s supposed to happen.” Caitlyn said and he sighed.

“I never meant to hurt anyone like this…”

“Well, it’s collateral damage. There’s always going to be someone who gets hurt. S’why I was warning you guys to be careful with this.” She reminded and he hummed.

“Did she end things with Seb for me?” He asked after a beat of silence.

“No. They went to his family’s for the holidays and as it turns out they function under this idea that men’s love language is acts of service, as in, women should wait on us hand and foot while we sit around with our dicks in our hands…” she said with some disdain still feeling salty about the whole thing. 

“Get out…” he groaned with secondhand embarrassment for the male species as a whole.

“It was a whole thing…his sister’s and mom were talking shit about her for it after the first night. She knew he was babied by his mom, but not that she was like his fucking PA! Either way, when they got back they talked about it and he basically said that she’d ease into it and learn how to treat him and take a more feminine role in their home as their relationship advanced or some shit like that…and she was like “umm, you should be cleaning up after yourself because it’s actually my home”, and he got all sensitive about that, the fucking free loader…” Caitlyn said.

“God…good for her though. I’m glad she stuck up to him.”

“Yeah, and well, he actually broke up with her…she’s not upset about it or anything. Just more annoyed really as now he’s trying to win her back, but she’s just ignoring him.”

“Good. That’s good to hear. When I heard about the break up I wanted to reach out but I can’t.” He explained.

“Yeah, I’m glad you’re seeing that. Especially with the situation you’re in.”

“Well that, but like I literally cannot. Tay asked me to delete her contact in case I got tempted to reach out again and I did, so I don’t even have her number anymore.” Harry let out a breathy laugh and after a few moments he inhaled and started to cry. Caitlyn frowned and tutted as she heard him breaking down.

“Harry, hey…” she cooed, “What’s the matter?”

“Ugh…nothing. I think I’ve just been holding that in.” He sniffled, “I kind of hate myself for making Taylor go to these lengths…I know she hates doing that kind of stuff too. And Y/N…god, why is she always on my mind. I can’t shake her, Cait. I just can’t…if I could change my heart I would. I know that it’s hurting us more than helping us.” He sniffled.

“If it helps to know, I think she’s made peace with the fact that you’re with the best person for you.” She said and hearing that physically hurt him, it made his chest tighten up and feel hollow at the same time. “I know it hurts her sometimes but she’s genuinely really happy for you, H. She truly is. So give it your all, yeah? Make this right.” Caitlyn said and he sniffled.

“OK. Thanks, Cait.”

“Anytime, H.” She assured him.

“I know you’re best friends and all, but just keep this between us, yeah?”

“Of course.” She assured, “If there’s anything I can do at all just let me know, OK? Or just listen if you need it.”

“Thank you. Bye.”

“Bye.” She said and they hung up.

Harry felt like a full blown asshole. He had hurt the two people he was in love with and now he had to choose. He had hoped that things cleared up on their own, but they were as murky as ever. It shouldn’t be hard to just choose the person he was with, but it was. It felt like he was losing. Well, who was he kidding, he had already lost you.

…. MAY 2024 ….

It was the night of the MET and you had just finished getting your hair and make up done for one of the after party’s. Caitlyn was your +1 to the parties and was more than excited to be tagging along with you for her first ever met. You’d been invited before, when Harry hosted, but you just laid super low. You even left his after party early because you had a work event in LA the next morning. Being the man of the hour you didn’t really see much of him that entire night. You did kiss him goodbye, but he was balls to the walls high on you weren’t even sure what, and that was that. This time, you were invited without any internal connections, but you were sure it was because you were still riding on that viral wave. You weren’t going to go, you didn’t want to keep calling attention to yourself. But your manager and friends insisted that you needed this, just to have a fun night out without cameras. And well, that was true, there were never cameras at these things, just outside.

“You ready?” Caitlyn asked you as you looked over your reflection one more time.

“If they’re where we are, we’re leaving.” You said and Caitlyn nodded in agreement.

You had been strategic and decided to party hop to decrease the likelihood of you running in Harry and Taylor after learning that they were attending together. You were feeling good, you’d successfully made it through two of the three parties you had been invited to and having a blast. Normally, you’d be dying to get home, but you had taken some E as you were leaving the first party in hopes to have endurance for the next two parties. You felt floaty and happy and tingly under its influence. You could quite literally feel the music around you, the hard hits of the bass tickled from the soles of your feet and up your legs. You were surrounded by people, probably in a similar state as you, dancing through their highs with racing hearts. 

And through all the dancing and euphoria you were making out with someone. It was in a dark corner and you had no idea who it was. All you knew was that your mouths were moving together eagerly. Suddenly, you were being tugged away, much to your dismay, because it did feel very nice especially while you were under this high.

“Cait…” you huffed as she apologized to the person you were with as she dragged you away.

“I think it’s time to go.” She said against your ear as she chuckled and you mumbled something about not wanting to go yet. “Babe, I just saw Harry and Taylor across the bar. We should go.” She said to you and that made your heart tighten and ache. 

Your smile dropped and you glanced around the busy room. When you heard a British accent behind you, you whipped around hoping to see Harry, but it was someone else. Then, you thought you heard his laugh and you turned in another direction, but maybe it was just in your head. You were at the peak of your high, so things were very murky. And as you looked for Harry, that nice feeling was starting to turn ugly. Caitlyn realized what was happening and grabbed your face in her hands and your gaze met hers for a few seconds.

“Hey, they’re all the way across the room. They’re nowhere near here.” She assured and you nodded.

“I need to use the bathroom before we go.” You said and she nodded.

“OK, c’mon.” She said grabbing your hand and guiding you through the crowd and to the bathroom. “Give me your bag, I’ll call your car. I’ll be right over there by the security check.” She pointed and you nodded a few times as you handed over your purse.

You walked into the bathroom and the white lights over the sink were far too bright for your overly dilated pupils. You hurried into a stall and struggled a bit with getting your dress enough out of the way so you could use the bathroom. And as you sat in the stall alone with your thoughts you started to feel cold and trembly. Your ears were ringing in the relative silence of the bathroom and you felt like the stall was starting to get smaller. You sped things up and hurried out to wash your hands, trying your very hardest to ignore your erratic heartbeat and the churning of your stomach. You didn’t even bother with drying your hands, you just smeared them against your dress as you rushed out of the bathroom. You were ready to get out of this situation before it brought on a full blown bad trip. 

But you came to a screeching halt when you saw Harry chatting animately with Rita Ora and Taika Waititi just a few feet away from you. They were laughing, heads knocked back in enjoyment. You were frozen for a few seconds as reality caught up to you and you glanced around for Taylor. She wasn’t in your line of sight yet, you’d wait in the bathroom. You took a few unsteady steps back before deciding that was the best course of action. You twirled around and hurried back, your heart was hammering in your chest and your breathing was completely shallow. You felt your body trembling like a dying leaf in the wind and your stomach was twisting as you stumbled back into the bathroom. Much to your misfortunate, you were met with Taylor drying her hands. You sighed shakily, about to turn back around but she glanced over with a lovely smile, but when she realized it was you it dropped entirely from her face in a moment. You turned around to leave again but then remembered Harry was actually right outside.

“You were with him just now, weren’t you?” She asked you with a frown and disappointment drenching her tone.

You suddenly felt sick to your stomach and you whipped back around and rushed past her into a stall and just started to throw up. You felt completely overwhelmed and overstimulated. Feeling as much as you did now was not to your benefit. But you were more than grateful to hear her footsteps receding as you spat out the sour taste from your mouth. You wiped your mouth with some toilet paper and flushed away your mess, trying your best not to get sick again just from seeing the mess that had come out of you. You were alone now and took your time to rinse your mouth and your hands, hoping they’d go before you had to face them again.

***************

HARRY’S POV:

Harry glanced over to the hallway for the bathrooms to see Taylor coming out with an unreadable expression on her face. He was still smiling from the laugh he had just had with Rita and Taika before they headed out.

“You were with Y/N. Weren’t you?” She asked with an accusatory tone and he looked baffled by this accusation.

“Babe, no. I’ve been standing here this whole time-”

“Well then why did she get one look at me and get sick?” She asked with confusion and a frown on her face. Harry’s face scrunched with concern.

“I didn’t.” He said and she looked skeptical, “I swear!” He insisted and she rolled her lips together for a moment.

“I want to leave.” She said decisively and he nodded.

“OK.” He nodded, “I-is Y/N alright though? Does she need any help or-” Taylor walked off towards the exit leaving him mid sentence. He was reluctant as he followed after her and glanced back down the hallway of the bathroom before rushing after Taylor who was practically out the door now. He was making his way towards the exit when he saw Caitlyn standing by the door on her phone. Surely she’d come along with you. Taylor hurried outside and Harry stopped for a moment to greet Caitlyn.

“Cait!” He called her name and she glanced up and her eyes widened and she glanced around quickly before she smiled at him as he came up and hugged her.

“Hey! How are you?” She asked as they pulled away.

“M'alright. Ummm, Y/N had a run in with Tay in the bathroom.” He said and Caitlyn frowned.

“Oh, sorry.” She said glancing over to Taylor who was now looking at them expectantly. She offered a smile and Taylor returned it before quickly glancing down to her shoes.

“She said something about Y/N getting sick. Maybe you should go check on her if she hasn’t texted you.” He said.

“Oh shit, thank you. I actually have her phone with me, we’re waiting for her car.” She explained.

“Then yeah, please check on her.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, she’s pretty fucked up too. But ummm, is that why you guys are leaving?” She asked and he nodded.

“Tay thinks I spoke to her…which I didn’t. I didn’t even see her tonight, I swear it.” He said and she nodded.

“I know, Harry. I believe you.” She assured and he sighed.

“Thank you.” He said and she smiled at him with sympathy.

“Alright, now get going.”

“Please, make sure she’s OK.”

“I will.” Caitlyn smiled and they kissed cheeks before he hurried out. 

Taylor watched as Caitlyn hurried back inside and then turned into the hallway that led to the bathrooms. She swallowed thickly and hugged her arms around herself when Harry tried to grab her hand when he came up beside her.

“I didn’t speak to her, babe.” He insisted again with frustration. “Did she say something to you?”

“No.” She responded monotonously. “Just call the car, please.” She said and he nodded and did just that, “Five minutes.” He informed her once he hung up and she nodded. 

A few moments later Caitlyn was rushing you out of the venue, but even the chatter outside didn’t mask the sharp inhales of you trying to breathe through your crying. You two hurried past him and Taylor and into the car that was now waiting by the curb. She opened up the door for you and helped you get settled in the car. Harry found himself taking a few steps towards you but stopped himself. He wanted to see you, even if it was just for a second. But Caitlyn scooted in behind you and mouthed one final ‘thank you’ before shutting the door so that you could take off.

The car ride back to his hotel was tense and uncomfortably quiet. He genuinely didn’t think that Taylor had any reason to be upset tonight. This was a huge event, lots of people were bound to be there. And still, he hadn’t seen or even spoken to you once in the entire time. He didn’t think it was wrong that he was concerned for you when she told him that you’d gotten sick. He would’ve been concerned for anyone who was in that position, especially at a party like this where he knew there were drugs and alcohol around. He tried not to be upset at her though because he had no idea what was going on in her head that made her upset. 

When they got into their hotel room she immediately slipped out of her heels and headed into the bathroom. He heard the door shut and then the shower come on. He made his way over and listened through the wood to see if she was crying, but she wasn’t. At least there was that. Maybe she just needed to cool down from the situation because truly there was nothing that he did wrong. He debated for several minutes whether he should call Caitlyn to check on you or not. And who was he kidding, he needed to check in.

“Hey H.” She answered him right away, “Don’t you worry, she’s alright. She’s just having a shower now.” Is the first thing she said and he smiled a bit.

“Good. Nothing bad happened right? With Tay?”

“No. She said that when she was leaving the bathroom she walked out and saw you waiting in front of the hallway, so she hurried back into bathroom. Y/N didn’t want to stir up any trouble by saying hi or just being near you if Taylor was around. But when she came back into the bathroom, kind of in shock from seeing you right there, Taylor was there and she asked if you’d just been together, that’s all. And well, Y/N said she just felt trapped and got anxious from the fucking molly she took and just got sick. She was just crying because you know how much she hates throwing up. Not because you were with your girlfriend.” She assured him.

“Yeah.” He smiled as he recalled this detail about you, “The throwing up is probably why Taylor thinks we spoke. Just from her reaction to the question, I guess.”

“Maybe so…but in all honesty, we party hopped all night because we were trying to avoid you. And when I saw you guys when I went to the bar I told Y/N we needed to leave.”

“Oh…” he said with some hurt radiating through his chest.

“Yeah…S’just that after we spoke last time I just didn’t want to give her any reasons to doubt you or to think Y/N was meddling or something. Obviously, Y/N doesn’t want to ignore you, but she also doesn’t want to complicate things for you. But…”

“Shit happens.” Harry sighed.

“Yeah.” 

“Well, I’m glad she’s fine. She’s coming down alright?”

“Yeah, she’s good so far. I’ll take good care of her.” Caitlyn assured him. 

“I know you will.” He smiled.

“And are you alright?” She asked him.

“I think so…we haven’t spoken about it yet, so we’ll see. I just- I don’t want you guys to think Taylor’s a bad person for this. She’s not usually like this.” He explained.

“We don’t, H. She’s just navigating this situation the way it comes, you know? She has every right to feel apprehensive.”

“Yeah. Thank you for understanding.” he sighed.

“Of course.” She responded.

“Well thanks for answering, I just want to check in. And I’m sorry if we ruined your evening…” he apologized with a regretful sigh.

“Who are you talking to?” Harry heard from behind him and he glanced back to see Taylor wrapped up in her towel.

“My friend Caitlyn.” He said and she looked skeptical.

“It’s cool, H. Go deal with that.”

“Thanks. Good night.” Harry said before hanging up. He stood and then handed his phone over to her to see the call history. “See.”

“But Y/N is with her.”

“She was in the shower.” He said and she bit her lip, “I didn’t talk to her. I didn’t even see her until they walked out, babe.” He said.

“And why are you apologizing for ruining their evening? Now we have to walk on egg shells to protect her feelings?” She asked him and he sighed.

“No, I’m apologizing for that because they had been party hopping all night precisely to avoid running into us and causing you to think something was up.” He said signaling between them and she frowned.

“Is that how you’re telling it to people? That I’m just angry about your ex?” She asked him.

“No! I mentioned to Caitlyn the thing that you told me before about the song and the paps. I just needed to be sure that Y/N wasn’t trying to get a reaction of me or you. I know she’s not like that, but when people are upset they can sometimes do things that are out of character.” He said looking to her, hoping she’d catch his drift. She scoffed out a laugh and headed back into the bedroom. “Babe…” he sighed as he sat on the bed as she dug her pajamas out in silence. “Did you confront her about being with me tonight?” He asked her.

“I’m not going to feel bad for that, Harry. I wasn’t rude about it, I just asked.”

“I’m sure you weren’t but-”

“She was probably going to though-”

“For fucks sake! She was running back into the bathroom to avoid having to run into me!” He shouted, “She saw me and decided to wait in there until I was gone. She’s the one walking on fucking egg shells as if she’s the one driving the wedge deeper and deeper into our relationship!” 

“So you’re saying this is my fault?” She asked him with a confused frown and he sighed.

“Tonight, yes.” He said. “I have…done what I can. Everything you’ve asked to try and make this work, to make it better. To have you believe me-”

“Harry, she’s still in love with you!” She shouted in exasperation.

“And what?! She’s happy for me! She’s happy for us! She didn’t delete my number and hasn’t reached out at all! Look at the fucking lengths she tried to go through tonight just to ensure that we weren’t uncomfortable! For fucks sake, just let it go! Please!” He was panting from how frustrated he was. He swore that smoke was blowing out of his ears as all of his pent up frustration reached its boiling point. He felt that he had been as understanding and as patient as possible, but it had been months of the same thing. She bit down on the inside of her cheek for a few moments. “I’m sorry for shouting at-”

“I think we both know that this has been over.” She said softly and his chest tightened. “I don’t like myself anymore.” She said with a frown, “I hate feeling insecure in us or just like I’m second best.” She sniffled. “I know you’ve never said that to me but just the fact that your heart’s in two different places makes me feel that way. Believe me, I have been trying to not let it bother me or just to understand how this can work for you, but I can’t.” She explained.

“I’m so sorry.” He apologized and she shrugged. “I never meant to make you feel that way. I just…I wanted to be honest with you, I felt bad for keeping that from you-”

“I know. I think you did the right thing in telling me but…I just, I can’t make peace with that.” 

“I get it. I do love you, though. You have to know that.”

“Yeah. But not like you love her.” She said and he sighed, “Babe, if you loved me like you love her then keeping your distance wouldn’t feel like a sacrifice to you. And clearly that’s how you see it. Even now, instead of checking on me you called your friend to check on her? I mean…” she let out a sardonic laugh.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to check on you, I just figured you wanted some space.” He explained.

“So you check on me and ask if I need space, H.” She argued and he swallowed thickly and nodded.

“You’re right.” He said.

“H, I can’t keep doing this to myself. I can’t even recognize myself.” She said with a frown, “Like I…I feel like I’m losing myself in trying to keep you and I’m not okay with that. I’m sorry.” She sniffled and he nodded.

“Don’t be sorry. I get it. It’s my fault.” He said with a sad smile.

“Yeah.” She whispered and bit down on her lip. "No hard feelings?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Of course not." he smiled.

If you enjoyed this feel free to check out some of my other fics...

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[mrsriddles-blog]

you broke me first | T.N

Pairing: Slytherin Fem Reader X Theodore Nott

WC: 1.6k

Warnings/Notes: Mild language, heartbreak, angst, alcohol, drugs, betrayal…

Summary: Theodore and you had broken up, Theodore the one to end things and suddenly he’s asking for it back.

Maybe you don’t like talking too much about yourself

But you should’ve told me that you were thinkin’ ‘bout someone else

You’re drunk at a party or maybe it’s just that your car broke down

Your phone’s been off for a couple months, so you’re calling me now

“Hello?” I murmur tiredly into the phone.

“Y/n/n? I need you to help me.” Theodore slurs into the phone.

“Theodore, I told you not to call me.” I sigh.

“Please, I don’t know where I am.” He slurs.

“Theodore, surely there is someone around to guide you back to Hogwarts.” I sigh.

“N-No, all alone. Fight…blood and all alone.” He slurs.

“Are you around any places that can help me locate you?” I sigh once more, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Alleyway…Three Broomsticks.” He slurs.

I hung up, a frown on my lips as I slid my shoes on. I slide my coat on and shove my phone into my pocket. I grabbed my purse, making sure I had my first aid kit. I walked out to the Common Room and saw Theodore’s friends there. They claimed they were still friends with me, but I felt weird about it all now. They were Theodore’s friends to begin with.

“Hey, Y/n/n!” Pansy says excitedly.

“Hey, Pans.” I murmur.

“Where are you heading? It’s past curfew.” Mattheo asks.

“Theodore called me. He’s drunk and got into a fight. He doesn’t know how to get back.” I sigh.

“Oh.” Mattheo mumbles.

I noticed his nose had a fresh cut across it and as I took him in more, I realized that it was Mattheo who Theodore got in a fight with. I sigh, rubbing a hand across my face.

“Do I want to know why?” I ask.

“He’s just being stupid right now, but he’ll come around. I just hope you give him a chance.” He mutters.

“Wait. You got in a fight with Theodore over his and I’s relationship?” I ask.

“He still loves you and he is well aware of his mistake, but he’s being stubborn about apologizing.” He explains.

“Matty, I appreciate your concern and all, but is it really worth getting into a fight with him over? Theodore made his choice and I came to terms with that. He and I are over. I don’t foresee us getting back together.” I say.

“You never know. He lost a good girl.” He murmurs.

I had no response to what he had to say, so instead I made my way out of the Common Room. I wished and hoped that one of them would hop up and offer to go get him, but no one seemed to want to.

I know you, you’re like this

When shit don’t go your way you needed me to fix it

And like me, I did

But I ran out of every reason

I’ve gone through so many alley’s and I have yet to locate him. It should be that hard to find a six foot giant in these tiny alley’s. I hear mumbling and turn down another alleyway and I see him stumbling down slowly.

“Theodore.” I call.

He turns around and gives me that swoon worthy smile I didn’t realize how much I missed. He walks towards me and wraps me into a hug. I sigh, pushing him away.

“Come on.” I sigh.

I grab his arm and he stumbles, throwing an arm over my shoulder. He leans against me and I curse as I nearly topple over. I walked us back to the castle somehow, this man practically half asleep on me, so I was supporting both his and I’s weight. I managed to get into the Common Room where his friends were still at.

“Hey, t-that’s the wanker who hit me.” Theodore slurs.

“Shut up. You’re drunk and you're a bloody wanker when you're drunk. I’m sure you were hit for a reason.” You snap.

“It’s because I love you and I won’t talk to you. But, we are talking now. Can we get back together, baby? Please?” He pleads as I try to drag him through the Common Room.

Now suddenly you’re asking for it back

Could you tell me, where’d you get the nerve?

Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had

But I don’t really care how bad it hurts

When you broke me first

You broke me first

“Baby, answer me. I miss you, I miss us. Please, baby.” He pleads as I shove him into a chair as I realized I couldn’t drag him to his dorm.

“No.” I spat.

I didn’t mean to sound so venomous. I busied myself with cleaning his face and hands as he watched me with both hurt and confusion.

“No?” He asks.

“You heard me. I said no.” I mutter.

“But, why?” He whines.

“Because, you broke me first. You don’t get to turn this around onto yourself and act like I just broke your heart. You broke mine. You ripped it out of my damn chest and stomped on it.” I say, tears welling in my eyes.

I threw away the garbage from the first aid materials before standing and hastily leaving the Common Room.

Took a while, was in denial when I first heard

That you moved on quicker than I could’ve ever, you know that hurt

Swear for a while I would stare at my phone just to see your name

But now that it’s there, I don’t really know what to say

“Theodore, you need to stop calling me.” I say as soon as I pick it up.

“I want to talk. I can’t keep up with this…this thing between us. I want you back baby.” He says.

“And I told you no. Not to mention, you are with Astoria.” I say.

Trying to keep the anger out of my voice was nearly impossible. My best friend went behind my back and is with my ex. To make things worse, he was with her too. He was completely okay with it. She expected to get in on the Slytherin group of friends, but they despise her. Apparently, they are the truest friends I have.

“Astoria and I are done, baby. She never meant anything to me anyway. I just…I want you. You are everything I’ve ever wanted.” He pleads.

I look up when my door opens. It was Mattheo. I smile softly at him and motion him in.

“We are done, Theodore. I’ve made that clear. Maybe you should try moving on. It does wonders, you know.” I say, hanging up.

I know you, you’re like this

When shit don’t go your way you needed me to fix it

And like me, I did

But, I ran out of every reason

Now suddenly you’re asking for it back

Could you tell me, where’d you get the nerve?

Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had

But I don’t really care how bad it hurts

When you broke me first

You broke me first

“Is it a bad time?” Mattheo asks, a hint of nervousness to his voice.

“What? No, no, it’s not a bad time. I’m glad you're here actually. I’ve missed you.” I say, smiling softly at him.

He closes the distance between us, leaving a kiss on my head, his arms wrapping around my waist. I smile, looking up at him.

“I’ve missed you too, but please don’t be mad at me. It was their idea.” He mumbles.

“I told you guys I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday.” I complain.

“Shh, it’s a surprise.” He says, his arm around my waist.

We leave my dorm, heading to the Common Room. Despite me being aware of what they had planned, I jumped when they shouted “Happy Birthday” and a bunch of confetti poppers went off. My eyes immediately saw Theodore who was glaring at Mattheo’s arm.

Shit.

He wasn’t supposed to find out like this. Mattheo and I had been trying to keep it on the downlow for as long as we could, but obviously that plan just went to shit.

“He knows.” I murmur.

“Shit. I’m sorry. I should’ve let you go when we walked out of your dorm.” He sighs, running his free hand through his hair.

Theodore was striding towards us before stopping in front of me. He glares at Mattheo before turning his gaze to me.

“I was going to tell you, Theodore. I was hoping to tell you once you began to move on yourself. I didn’t want to hurt you.” I sigh.

“Right. And that’s why you're with my best mate?” He spats.

“Ex-mate.” Mattheo corrects.

Apparently, the group had a falling out with Theodore who has been sleeping around and just drifting.

“Surely, you weren’t truly expecting you and I to get back together.” I say slowly.

“I thought we had a chance! I thought we could’ve worked this out!” He snaps, stepping closer to me.

Mattheo pulled me closer to him as he pushed me behind him more, shielding me with his body, as his eyes narrowed on Theodore.

“No! We didn’t, Theodore and that is on you. We probably could have been forever, but you went on some spiel of how we didn’t click and shit. Then you went behind my back and dated my best friend! So, no! We didn’t have a fighting chance like you hoped! What did you think would happen? That we would have some happy ever after? You broke me.” I snap.

“You broke me!” He snaps.

“Well you broke me first.” I say, tears stinging my eyes.

What did you think would happen?

What did you think would happen?

I’ll never let you have it

What did you think would happen?

Now suddenly you’re asking for it back

Could you tell me, where’d you get the nerve?

Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had

But I don’t really care how bad it hurts

When you broke me first

You broke me first

(You broke me first)

You broke me first, oh

#harry potter universe #slytherin #theodore nott #hp fandom #theodore nott x reader #ex theo x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #pansy parkinson #slytherin x reader #light angst #heartbreak #sad #song fic #masterlist #Spotify

[mythiqszn]

Happily ever after- Fred Weasley

Fred weasley x fem!reader

Summary: it’s been 2 years since you’ve been at Hogwarts and you decided to return for your fifth year, you haven’t seen your ex-boyfriend Fred since the huge argument that caused you to not return. However you’re over him…right?!? Warnings: Angst (not bad bad), Fluff at the end, happy ending, it's short, I think that's it? My first fanfic so please give me tips on what I can do better and give me requests!

“Where were you when I need you? Huh y/n? Nowhere.”

“Fred I tried to be there for you but every time you pushed me away. I’m sorry that you are upset but me and Harry? There’s nothing going on between us, I’m trying to tell you but you wo-”

“I give up y/n, I honestly don’t care. I don’t ever want to see you again, I wish I never met you.”

The hurtful words rang through your head while seeing Hogwarts again, You felt a strange ache in your heart but you were pretty much over him. Yet, you couldn’t fight the feeling of sadness. Your thoughts interrupted with the sudden stop at the train station, the feeling of regret filled your body but it was too late. You were here. You grabbed your luggage and walked down the isle seeing the familiar faces that had changed so much over the past two years. Walking off the train your greeted by the embrace of your good friend Hermione, despite being in her third year, you two had become close after the incident with Fred. She knew you were innocent. “God i’ve missed you so much y/n.” you gave her smile before replying, “I missed you to Hermione.”

You settled into your Gryffindor dorm room, but something didn’t feel right. You remembered the astronomy tower, where you used to go every night. With the thought of this you got up and made your way out of your dorm. Your met with the empty and dim lit common room, the room is filled with the scent of firewood. You felt you were home, the warm feeling inside you made you smile. You heard the sound of a door creak and quickly made your way out of the common room and into the eerie darkness that consumed the hallway.

You had reached the astronomy tower and remembered the bittersweet memories that had been lost when you moved away, you leaned over the balcony to watch the stars. The quietness made you think about the memories shared between you and Fred. The place he had asked you out with pink roses, where you shared your first kiss, got high while watching the stars, and then the intense argument that had happened. You felt tears build up in your eyes, you couldn't help but smile as tears started to stream down your face.

“Are you okay?”

A familiar voice you knew all too well had spoken, quickly wiping the tears off your face you turned to face him.

“Yes, Fred I'm fine.”

He bit his lip and his head dropped, his hands were in his pockets and he looked different than when you last saw him those years ago. Though it hurt you couldn't help but stare at him.

“Y/n, listen I'm sorry. Right after you left Hermione told me that she was there with you and Harry and that you were just helping him study. By the time I went to find you to apologize, you were gone. Hermione had told me how heartbroken you were and I decided to keep my distance, I couldn't bear to be apart from you. I still feel your absence in everything that I do and everything I see reminds me of you.”

He stepped closer and was now looking down at you, you couldn't help but notice the tears in his eyes. You gave him a weak smile as you felt his embrace, you finally knew what that funny feeling inside of you was. All you needed was him and you finally had him yet again. The scent of old spice and the slightest hint of weed surrounded you.

“I love you, Fred.”

He looked down upon your face, and you feel his hand on the back of your head and suddenly feel his lips on yours. Your eyes slowly shut as you melted into the kiss, he pulled away with his eyes still closed for a moment until he opens them again to meet your face.

“I love you more, my sweet girl.”

Happily ever after was finally yours and nothing could ever change that. You finally had him for good.

#draco malfoy #fanfic #fred weasley #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley smut #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #fred weasely x y/n #fred weasley x reader #harry potter smut #harry potter fluff #george weasley #hogwarts #fluff #harry potter x reader #hp imagine #exes to lovers #fred weasley angst #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley x y/n #harry potter angst #fred weasley fic #fred weasley fanfiction #draco malfoy smut #fred weasley x you #gryffindor #hogwarts fanfiction

[gurugirl]

Ex-Boyfriend's Dad!Harry

ex-boyfriend's dad!harry x reader - forbidden relationship au

Series Warnings: explicit content, smut (including anal, rough blow jobs), age gap, angst, daddy kink, dom/sub dynamics, spanking, choking, slight degradation, use of small implements (collar and leash, anal plug)

Series Summary: You break up with your boyfriend and confide in his dad about some very personal issues you had with his son. And Harry thinks he can help.

Based on these requests: Here Here Here Here Here (there are more in my #into the drafts tag but y'all get the hint - this was heavily requested 🖤)

Part 1 (8.2k words) TEASER

After you break up with your boyfriend, his dad, Harry, stops by your apartment to drop off a few of your things. But that's not all he's there to bring you.

Part 2 (10.8k words) TEASER

Harry wants to show you what you've been missing if you'll let him. OR The filthy smutty one

Part 3 (8.3k) TEASER

You get to try things with Harry you never had the chance to before but the more you get to know him the more of him you want. And that's a problem.

Part 4 (10k) TEASER

You and Harry are both missing each other and despite Tyler's sudden interest in talking to you, Harry's determined to finish what you both started.

divider by @firefly-graphics

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry edward styles #firstpost #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harrystyles #harry styles x yn #harry styles au #harry styles x you #harry #harry smut #dad!harry #dilf!harry #daddy harry #ex-boyfriend's dad!harry #older!harry #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fiction #harry x reader #harry x yn #harry x you

[driversatellite]

this love series | h.s | masterlist

where their love is alive and back from the dead

summary: 

harry and y/n were in a secret relationship for years and unfortunately it had to come to an end, but a year after the split they find themselves face to face once again, maybe they can mend what was once broken. 

harry styles x desi!reader 

masterlist: 

part one: y/n finds herself in the most unlikely place 

part two: harry spots a familiar face in the crowd

part three: harry and y/n talk for the first time in months 

part four: y/n’s distraction 

part five: y/n’s getaway house 

part six: y/n gets some advice

part seven: harry gets deja vu

part eight: harry sticks to his word

part nine: harry and y/n find their way home

part ten: y/n, the rockstar’s girlfriend 

extras:

character instas

main masterlist

#Harry Styles #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x desi reader #desi reader #harry styles fic #hs #hslot #harry x reader #harry styles fanfiction #masterlist #harry styles masterlist #exes to lovers #angst #fluff #harry styles x normal reader #this love series

[itsprashimusic]

Don't Let Me Down

Summary - You loved him, really. But in the end loving him was more like your poison than your antidote.

Pairings - ex!Harry Styles x singer!Reader

Warnings - suicidal thoughts, mentions of wanting to die, ANGST, failed relationship, cuss words, using a real-life singer's songs for this fic, death of parents, absent partner, Harry is an asshole at the end (he threw things at reader), not entirely proofread Happy reading<3

Word Count - 4.5k

A/N - reader is female but can also be read as gender neutral. suicidal part will be labeled with (💔) for those who want to skip it.

flashbacks are in italics

also please reblog this, i spent a lot of time on it and reblogging it with tags would really mean a lot to me. love you❤️

You were getting ready for you first live concert in months. The familiar rush of adrenaline was coursing through your body. The type that only comes when you are performing. This was probably one of the best parts of your job as a singer. The better parts are probably the free items people give you just because you are a celebrity. The bad worse parts are definitely the paparazzi and publicity of everything in and about your life.

Your fans were wanting more music, and so that is what you gave them. A few months earlier you released an album. A lot of fans were expecting maybe some love songs surrounding your rumored relationship with famed singer and actor, Harry Styles.

You kept your personal life hidden from public view. But still they always were trying to guess who the current 'man in your claws' was. This time it was Harry Styles, but it was true. You and Harry had been dating for nearly 3 years.

Key word: had

You both had broken up. You weren't sure who broke up with who, but one thing was clear, it was not mutual. It was messy, very messy. Your house looked like a tornado went through it twice and again. Things were thrown, hurtful false accusations were thrown around, when you called him out on his bullshit, he just gave you another lame excuse as to how it was your fault for that specific flaw of his, you get the idea it was just a bad break up.

Fans around the world mourned your break-up, even though no official statement was given by either of you for almost 3 months post the breakup.

It has been nearly a year since your breakup, and you are still not over it. You admit it, you really did love Harry. He was the world for you. In the back of your closet sat a little box with a simple gold band resting in it, waiting to be worn by your life partner. You had a date planned out on which you would propose to him, two days after your break-up.

The part which hurt the most was knowing that he would've said yes, if things were fine in your relationship.

You stood in your dressing room. Being finished with your warmups, you stood, simply doing nothing. You just stared at yourself in the mirror. It was your supposed to be your largest tour. So of course, your nerves were on edge. You were standing in your dressing room, clutching the table with a grip so hard even you were surprised by it. You knew you were not doing well. A lot of the people around you even pointed out you looked unwell. You started feeling nauseous.

You were aware it was coming, the panic attack. Breathing became a bit difficult. You knew there was only one thing that would calm you down. A person to be more specific. Little did you know that this very person who could calm you down was rushing through the corridors, pushing people aside, just to find you. He knew that you would be having a panic attack.

Just as you were about to fall down, the door to your dressing room broke open revealing your boyfriend. He ran in enveloping you into a hug, hiding both your view of the others in your dressing room and their view of you, a gesture you were grateful for. One arm around your back, the other around the back of your head.

"It's ok darling, I'm here now." he said, his voice making things better, his deep soothing voice. He gestured for the others to leave the room so that the two of you would be alone. They left and shut the door giving the two of your privacy. You and Harry just stood there, him hugging you. You knew eventually you'd have to go out and perform, but for now just standing there felt right.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you could see the tears forming in your eyes. This would be your first concert in a long time, and you wanted it to be one of your best. You remember that one concert, it was the best. The type that everyone remembers, has countless edits of, even years later, that kind.

You looked at the clock. 10 minutes. You stared yourself down in the mirror. 9 minutes. You paced up and down doing your warmups. 8 minutes. You nervously sipped water from a bottle. 7 minutes. You were called outside to get your earpiece put in. 6 minutes. Your hands were getting sweaty, so you rubbed them against yourself. 5 minutes. The earpiece is in and working. 4 minutes. You could hear the crowd waiting for you to make your entrance. 3 minutes. You and your backup dancers huddled up together. 2 minutes. You made your way to where you were supposed to come out from. 1 minute. You clutched the tissue paper that you took from the dressing room. You clutched it hard, knowing that the last time you were up on stage it was someone's hand instead of a piece of somewhat soft paper. 10 seconds. You got your cue and could hear the intro music playing and the smoke machines going off. And from then on everything felt like a dream but even through the performances, your mind was somewhere else. Harry.

It was oddly quiet in his house. Normally there was some type of noise, whether it was the heater, AC or just some new air purifier he found and thought you might like. Your keys jingled while you were unlocking the front door to Harry's house. He said he would be meeting you here and so you didn't expect anyone to be at home.

But little did you know Harry was standing behind the door waiting for you to come. He saw your car pull up below the building. He had a surprise that he wanted to share with you first. Just as the door swinged open the lights turned on and a bunch of confetti flew out from somewhere. It startled you and you yelled. It took you a few seconds but then you saw Harry standing behind the door with a sheepish smile on his face. "Honey, what is all of this?" you asked him, coming closer to him. He pulled you in by your waist and said, "My new album's coming out on December 13th. I want you to be the first one to know."

"Wait, you have another album coming out? I didn't even know you were working on one!" you said. "Love, I never stop working. And to answer your question, yes, I have another album coming out. It is going to be called Fine Line."

That was all years ago. You remember that day clearly. It was the day you thought he was the one. So much followed after that. You walked him backwards onto the couch, hands tangled in his soft curly hair, lips on his. Just as he fell onto it his head made contact with some leftover food that was lying around. It was messy and cut your make out session short. But it was sweet. After getting him cleaned up you both sat cuddled on the couch and continued watching Modern Family.

"How are we doing Manchester!" you could hear the crowd cheering through your earpiece. You finished the intro and now you were starting to get more comfortable. "You know, it has been a long time since I have performed here. I just got the warmest welcome of all time, and it's time to return the favor," you say just as a short whistle tune is played over the speakers making the crowd go wild. "Usually, people love dancing around to my songs, but for this one we have to sit still," you say, teasing the crowd when another whistle tune is played.

The song got over and slowly transitioned into your other single.

Crashing, hit a wall Right now I need a miracle Hurry up now, I need a miracle

It was a really low time in your life. You had just lost your father to covid, and your mother wasn't doing so well. Add to that, your boyfriend was stuck in England and you in America. And the cherry on top, your name was plastered all over the news. People were bored and decided to pull and poke fun at you and some of your songs to keep them busy.

But it sucked for you. You were dangerously close to swallowing a bunch of tablets and it sucked. You were on your own, got calls daily from the nearby hospital about your mother's health, which was declining and going through grief over losing your father 1 month ago. All you needed right now was a miracle. Only a miracle could save you.

Stranded, reaching out I call your name, but you're not around I say your name, but you're not around

You had just received news from the hospital saying that your mother had not made it. Being in the hospital for so long had benefitted her but in the end, she contracted covid. You did not take the call well. The second the doctor said the words 'I'm sorry' you felt your heart split into tiny shards of glass which embedded themselves into every part of your body. You did cry, you didn't sob, not even a voice crack by the time you finished the conversation.

You were numb. The only person you wanted was him, but it was impossible to reach him when he was on an entirely different continent. You called him. You texted him. You messaged him. You emailed him, but there was no response. You even tried Instagram but that resulted in nothing. You attempted to write him a physical letter, but there was no response.

You had no idea why he was ignoring you. And it wasn't like you called him 3-4 times a day. You called him 15-20 times a day, you were surprised no one was responding.

Right when you needed him the most in your life he decided to shut you out. It hurt more than any break-up ever did. It was like you were stranded on an island with no way to escape. And the person you were trying to contact to come and save you was not there, almost as if they didn't exist.

I need you, I need you, I need you right now Yeah, I need you right now So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down I think I'm losing my mind now

That was when things started going south in your and Harry's relationship. When he finally responded back, he was nothing like the man you fell in love with. Though you were so desperate and elated that he finally responded, you didn't even notice the shift in his attitude. By the time you realized how out-of-love he was with you, you were ready to propose to him.

It's in my head, darling, I hope That you'll be here, when I need you the most So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down

For the longest time you kept hoping that at some point Harry would respond. That he would come and save you from the hell you were in. That he would be there to put an end to your turmoil. But no. He didn't show up (not like he even could), he didn't call, didn't text, nothing. You were left to pick up your own broken pieces.

Don't let me down

'Harry please pick up, please'

A sob racked through your body, making you tremble.

don't let me down

'Leave on seen, even that will do, just please say something, please'

You were getting hysterical, one sob after another, pleas falling from your lips like a prayer, repeating it to yourself again and again and again.

down

'Letter number 12 and I will keep writing more, just please respond'

Ink was dripping down the paper like the tears on your face it was mixed with. Your vision was a blur.

down

'Maybe today he will respond, it's been 6 months, things are starting to open up, maybe I can go see him'

With each passing day your delusional hope kept getting stronger. You never knew you had this much motivation in yourself.

'Please don't let me down…'

You whispered to yourself every day, almost as if he could hear you begging him to save you, to heal you, to do some thing.

(💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔)

Running out of time I really thought you were on my side But now there's nobody by my side

You sat on the kitchen floor, three different items sitting next to you, each one waiting to be used. You thought of the knife and how if you used that it would be painful, but then when you were found people would talk about how much pain you would have had to endure to die.

You looked at the rope and the ceiling fan and how that would also be painful but at the same time a bit faster. It would certainly be the most dramatic way to go, overrated but dramatic. When you would be found, someone would see you hanging off of the ceiling suspended in air in the middle of the room. Headlines would be something about you not dying of the virus but of ill mental health. Maybe it would raise awareness.

You looked at the bottle of meds. Certainly, the most painless way to go but when you would be found and it would be announced that you died of an overdose, people would think you were desperate to die. Well, they wouldn't be wrong, just that you don't want people to every think you stooped to that level.

Look at you, thinking about if people thought you stooped to the lowest level of suicide when suicide itself is low. But what other option is there really? You father died around 8 months ago, your mother followed him about 6 weeks after, your sibling was in the military with absolutely no way to contact them and your boyfriend was blatantly ignoring you while the media has been having fun with ruining your name and songs because they are bored at home.

It felt like a clock was ticking, like time was running out fast, but for what? Your death maybe, that would be satisfactory for you but this clock felt like it was ticking down to something else. 'Well, if there is something worse, let it happen'

(💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔)

"Don't let me down." you reached your high note with practiced ease. Goosebumps erupted all over your skin as the crowd yelled loud enough that you could feel the sound waves. You kept going on for another 2 hours until the show ended, Harry not crossing your mind for the remainder of the show.

"Thank you once again for this lovely evening. Goodnight Manchester!"

You were in your hotel room, thinking back on your opening show. A smile played on your face when you thought back to fans' yell when the whistle tune played through the stadium speakers. But that smile left your face when you remembered who was on your mind as you sang the song which followed your opening track. Looking around you realized that the hotel room looked very similar to the room in which you felt your heart probably actually break.

You both had just returned from your best friend's movie premiere. It was late at night, which in your case meant getting a bit clingy and touchy. Nothing much, just hand holding, hugging, some neck kisses. You thought the night would be perfect, given that you were in the city of love itself. But little did you know that Cupid had a cruel joke in store for you.

You and Harry reached the hotel just fine. The night went better than imagined, it started in the bathroom and continued on in the bed until neither of you could keep your eyes open any longer. But then things changed in the morning. And it all started with, obviously, an article. This time the headlines were about the premiere last night.

When it comes to talking or interacting with people, you act the same with everyone and this included your best friend's co-star. He was a tall, brunette-dyed-blonde with 'sparkling silver eyes' (as the article put it). You were freaking out before the event and since you were meeting Harry at the location, you had no one to calm you down, so you decided to have a drink or two. By the time you reached the premiere, you were a bit tipsy. Harry knew this, of course, you tell him about almost everything that happens to you.

As you made your way around after walking the red carpet you were talking with people, socializing, networking. Oof, but the people who wrote this article only had pictures of you interacting with your friend's blonde co-star. You touched his arm at one point, were smiling widely when he cracked a joke and gave him a side hug when he wanted a picture with you. But this was enough evidence for people to think you were cheating on your boyfriend, someone who you almost worship.

Morning came, you and Harry were still acting touchy from the night before, you sitting in his lap while eating breakfast. You were having a shower when the room service came to pick up the dishes. Harry was mindlessly scrolling through his phone when he got a text from someone, an old friend who he started talking with and hanging out with recently. It was the article.

Now if Harry had seen this article 6 months ago, he would have probably just brushed it off as the media trying to stir up drama where there isn't. But sadly no. For the past 6 months you and Harry's relationship has been more than strained. There are constant fights, accusations about if the chicken got burned because of you or him and many cold shoulders. The second Harry read the article (and a few more covering the topic), he was hammering on the bathroom door demanding you come out immediately.

You had just finished your shower and had dried yourself when he was banging on the bathroom door. You opened the door to Harry angrier than he had ever been. He questioned you about the article. You told him you knew nothing of it.

"Baby, I swear I have no clue of what you are talking about."

"Then take the damn phone and read the bloody article!" he yelled, making you jump. You started realising that he wasn't just angry, he was furious.

As soon as you saw the pictures you realized what it was about. "Harry, you know me. I was not flirting with him, let alone cheating on you with him. The media just likes drumming up things that have nothing attached to it!" you saw, trying to get your clothes on.

He rolls his eyes, an unamused smile plastered on his face, "Do I know you, y/n? Hm, do I? Because over the past months it seems as if you are nothing like the person I met in 2018." "What do you mean 'nothing like the person I met'?! You are nothing like the person I FELL IN LOVE WITH!"

"Its just like you, always playing the victim. Instead of accepting that you're at fault you just find a way to blame it on me."

"Oh? Since when do you know so much about me? Didn't you just say I am nothing like the person I was before. And for your information, it's YOU who is at fault here. I have been the same person this whole time."

"So I'm the one at fault here? Huh, then tell me one thing that I have done wrong." By the time the argument reached here, you had all your clothes on, and Harry had grabbed a lamp out of frustration.

"With pleasure. Over the past 10 months whenever there was an article about me and someone else you would get jealous and think that I was cheating on you. You say that as if I don't worship the bloody ground you walk on, the water in which you bathe, the mirror in which you look at yourself. When you talk about something you like I give you my undivided attention. Even when I am exhausted, I still listen to you and respond with my 100% enthusiasm. Yet when I am excited about something you are either too busy, too tired or just plain uninterested. Oh and did I mention that for 8 months you did not answer one of my calls, any of my texts or emails?! That you were not there for me at a time when I needed you the most. That I nearly killed myself when you were not responding to me or the 15 letters I had sent to you. I called your mum, I called Gemma, I even resorted to Mitch and Sarah yet none of them could get me through to you because YOU TOLD THEM TO TELL ME YOU WERE UNAVAILABLE, WHY?! "

When you started talking about him ignoring you he rolled his eyes at you, folding his hands, gripping the lamp even harder. Ignoring everything you said before that he said, "Every single time I ask you to elaborate on what I did wrong, you bring that up. I have told you so many times that I told no one to tell you anything and for the last fucking time I did not receive any call/text/email or letter from you!"

When he screamed the last sentence he threw the lamp he was holding at you. It narrowly missed your head. The expression of shock was all over your face. You were no longer angry at him, you were scared of him.

"Harry what is wrong with you?! You threw a lamp at me." your chest was heaving, you looked at the lamp and back up at Harry. He took a step forward but you took a step back. "You keep saying that there is something wrong with me, that I am the one who changed, but please look at yourself first. Throwing things at people and not being bothered by it."

"You have no life outside of your work. You 'hangout with' Sarah and Mitch more often than you eat your food. Oh, and not to mention Leigha. You spend more time with her than with me, but do you see me complaining? There are more articles about you and her specifically. Yet you throw a fit about 1 article with me and a guy whose name I don't even remember."

"Don't you fucking dare say one more thing about her!" Harry moved closer towards you, picking up a vase at the same time. But you were more focused on calling him out to notice it. "And what about you and Louis? This actor might be a one time thing, but what about him huh? My old bandmate, you practically act like him with how much time you two spend together."

"Why? Do you care too much for her? Your 'old school friend'. And leave Louis out of this, I stopped hanging out with him long ago because you didn't like it. He was one of the only people who were there for me at my lowest, so shut your mouth about him. Plus, for your information, Leigha is nothing more than a self-obsessed man whore who was a nobody when you were in school." you were starting to get extremely riled up, your voice raising with each sentence. By the end of your sentence, you had pick up multiple items and left them all over the room, it was an anxious habit you formed. But you didn't stop there, you continued, "She failed senior year 3 times and got around the football team more often than other students studied. The only reason she attached herself to you was becau-" You were stopped by a vase hitting your head.

The anger on Harry's face could not be described. But the pain you felt could. Both the physical and emotional. The 3 inch cut on your forehead hurt really bad. You found it bleeding when you attempted to touch it. Emotionally, you felt betrayed. It didn't matter what Harry said next. You knew that this was the last straw, that it was the end.

Maybe if you kept your mouth shut there would have been a better chance he would have stayed with you. Maybe if you went ahead with your fatal plans those many months ago, you wouldn't have had to endure all this. But who are you kidding? The only reason you are alive right now is because of your sibling whose deployment ended. They flew from England and surprised you on a random Friday. After coming back they reminded you about how much you still have left to achieve, with your music, your future plans on a family, they reminded you of your fans and how they would feel, how your friends would feel, how they (your sibling) would feel, how Harry would feel. Though right now, you knew Harry would've felt nothing.

You only zoned back in when Harry was physically shaking you "Are you even listening to a fucking word I am saying?!"

"No, I am not. You just threw a vase at my head and are not even bothered about the bleeding cut on my forehead. You know what, I am done. I should killed myself a long time ago when I had the chance, because you don't love me anymore."

"Well, you got one thing correct; I don't love you anymore."

As soon as Harry said that you packed up your suitcase. Within three minutes you were out of the hotel on your way to the airport, taking the first flight back to Heathrow.

And during the flight, you kept rotating the box in your hands. The only which contained a simple gold band in it. As a tear streaked down your face you wiped it with the back of your hand. 'Why did I let him gaslight me for so many months?' you kept thinking this and many other questions relating to your relationship. 'It was so toxic, it was so unhealthy and moreover he was a dick.'

You sent a text to you sibling stating that you were on your way home. You even sent one to Louis. He was always there for you. Being your childhood friend and all. You both auditioned for the Xfactor at the same time. He got put in a boyband while you signed a contract with Simon separately. When your careers started, you both started hanging out less, but you remained good friends. The only One Direction member you met was Zayn and Niall, and that too on accident. The plane landed, and because no one was expecting you to be at the airport, there was no paparazzi for once. You quickly got a taxi and headed to his house after calling him.

You spent the entire night venting about your entire relationship.

a/n - this is probably one of the longest things i have ever written. let me know what you think. i hope i'll be able to write a part 2 to this, unless you feel i should leave it at this?

also i sincerely apologize to any Leighas out there.

Hope you enjoyed reading<3

#don't let me down fic #harry styles x reader #ex!harry styles x reader #harry styles x singer!reader #ex!harry styles x singer!reader #harry styles fanfiction #itsprashimusic #harry styles angst #not a one direction fic #louis tomlinson x reader

[meetmymouth]

i feel like theadora!y/n would love to tease harry about how hot his dad bod is knowing damn well he doesn’t actually have one askdjsjd

He emerges from the bathroom, a green towel snugly wrapped around his hips with another green one securely holding his short hair. She laughs behind her hand, knowing he doesn’t actually need the towel for his hair, but lets it go.

She goes back to her book.

Harry hums along to a song he’s probably heard earlier when they were cooking with the radio on, and tries to gather everything from his newly organised drawers for his grand nightly routine.

“Lookin’ good, daddy,” she muses from where she’s sitting on the bed, book now closed on her lap.

He looks up with furrowed eyebrows, clearly not expecting it.

He looks really young, despite the stache he’s been growing for a while, and she thinks the towel on his head plays a big part.

He purses his pink lips, one of her hand creams in his hand. “Did you just call me ‘daddy’?”

“Yep.”

“No, no… don’t,” he goes back to rummaging through her drawers. She knows he’s looking for the foot cream she’d splurged on despite him making fun of her at the time. “Not when we’re not— you know… having sex.”

She lets out a laugh. “It wasn’t meant to be sexual anyway.”

He looks up again. “Oh.”

“You’re a dad, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, but…”

“A DILF.”

He groans, and walks over to the bed. He sits on his side of the bed, but not before letting the towel drop. “Don’t start.”

“I just love it!” She smiles, though the sweet smile turns into one that’s cheekier. “You know how people talk about DILFs and hot dads… dad bods…” she trails, and looks up at him, already finding his eyes on her.

His gaze looks dark.

“Dad bod?” He scoffs.

“Um,” she knows where she’s— where they’re going with this.

“Like…” he tries to look and sound nonchalant, applying the cream to his feet.

She watches his back muscles, and his bum— and the way it looks soft and squished against the duvet.

She laughs again when he doesn’t say anything else.

Until he does.

“Like,” he carries on. “Beer bellies and chubby cheeks, y’mean?”

“What?” She laughs.

“Dad bodies. Are you telling me—” he quickly gets up, and turns to the full length mirror. He studies his body. “Oh fuck off, I look fuckin’ hot. Right?”

“Babe…” She moves over to him, and places her hands on his hips, chin on his shoulder. She kisses the freckles there. “Even if you did have a beer belly and chubby cheeks… you’d still be hot. Having all that… it doesn’t mean you’re not hot.”

“Sorry, it’s just. I found a grey hair and then a few in my stubble.”

She lets out a laugh, and hugs him closer to her chest. They look ridiculous, cuddled up with Harry naked, but she loves the feeling of his strong body against hers.

“That’s okay.”

“I think,” he takes a deep breath. He turns around, his hands finding her growing belly. “It’s just hit me— I’m getting old. I have two daughters.”

“If you’re getting old, I’m getting old, too!”

“Yeah but. I don’t know. I guess. I’m a bit nervous.”

“You know I love you, right? We love you.”

He smiles, leans into the touch— her hands now on his cheeks. She strokes his cheekbones, and presses a kiss on his chin.

“I love you guys.”

“And… you do look fuckin’ hot.”

He grins. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. Very. It’s like. Not fair, how hot you are. It’s not even just your body,” she moves her hands down his body, stopping on his stomach, on the butterfly. “It’s everything that makes you you.”

“Keep going…”

She chuckles. She pinches—tries to—his abs. “And I love seeing you take care of our family. Thea… and now her,” they both look down at her belly. Harry places one hand there, and strokes the warm skin under her t-shirt. “I fall in love with who you are— who you’ve become every day.”

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #theadora #harry styles x y/n #ex husband!harry #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry fic #harry styles writing #harry styles x fem!reader #harry writing #harry fluff #harry styles fluff #dad!harry #harry styles fanfiction

[purplekiwis]

Summary: It's no secret that as a figure skater, you're fed up with the local hockey team being treated like royalty... and your ex's status as a player isn't helping much either.

Genre: Exes to Lovers (Enemies to Lovers if you blink 😉)

Warnings: it's angsty and smutty

Wordcount: 8K

A/N: ummmmmm holy shit?! you guys really liked this fic 😫 i wasn't expecting this amount of love for this AU at all but your feedback has been making me so happy! i really hope you guys love this last part as well💙

THIS IS A 2 PART SERIES | YOU CAN READ PART 1 HERE ❄️

OTHER WORKS BY ME

You couldn’t resist.

As much as you hated him you couldn't resist. 

You didn't even waste time putting on your pajamas. As soon as you got to your room, you threw yourself on the bed, unzipped your jeans and finished off what Harry had started with the recollections of what he’d said and done to you on repeat inside your head.

And you didn't even feel bad about it as you laid in bed afterwards… motionless, apart from your hand that was still gently touching under your panties, playing around with the wetness as you slowly came down from the high. Honestly, you just felt extremely relieved… and sleepy, you were getting sleepy.

But the more you calmed down, the clearer your ideas became, and something Harry had said stuck with you. That last thing before you left - “now you know what it feels like to be left stranded” what the hell was that supposed to mean?

There was only one thing that you could think of that could fit that narrative, and that was you ending things before he got to take your virginity. As in, you made him wait for months and then just when he was about to get some, you broke things off.

As much as you wanted to believe that was the case and reinforce the concept that he was trash, that didn’t sound like something Harry would hold a grudge on... especially since he could have taken it if he wanted to. He was the one who suggested you’d take things slow. Besides, it wasn't like he had any trouble finding people to fuck with… as you were well aware of.

So why was he upset?

You couldn’t figure it out, nor could you figure out his reasons for doing what he had done earlier. Not the part where he stopped - that part you recognized had been some sort of vendetta.... but why had he kissed you like that? That hadn't been planned. You could tell.

He couldn't possibly be that desperate, could he? He had to be having sex, right? You probably would be if you weren't a virgin and stuck in the ridiculous belief that you should wait for ‘the one’.

Honestly, what a stupid concept.

Months ago you were certain that Harry was ‘the one’ for you and look where that got you.

Luckily though, you never blamed yourself for what happened. It might sound surprising, but it hadn't affected your self-esteem much or made you feel inadequate in any way... If anything, it had only taught you how real people function. Prior to it, you had a very black or white view of how things worked in relationships. Perhaps it was your innocence... but you had always thought that only bad lovers could do bad things.

Turns out that good lovers also can, and good lovers also will.

And no matter how much you try to taint your memory of them with anger and resentment in order to make sense of it all, you won't get to. The memories will always be clear and sweet and full of joy, even when reality isn't.

After what happened between you and Harry, moving forward in life was strangely uncomfortable.

Even though you thought about what happened by the bus all the time, it still didn't feel entirely real, or recent... more like a disturbingly vivid dream, or perhaps an old memory you only recently realized you had.

It didn't help that you hadn't told anyone about it - not even Niall - which was also weird. You felt as if you were keeping something from him, which to be fair… you were. It would have been easier to pretend nothing had happened if he hadn't been there that night, but he was, and obviously noticed how upset you were as soon as you got back in the car.

He still asked about it now and then, which was a little disconcerting and off character for Niall, but it was also the only proof you had that something had happened that night, and you weren’t completely hallucinating it.

In terms of your relationship with Harry, it had reverted to its previous state, which meant you weren’t talking or interacting in any way. You might have caught a glimpse of him at the rink or seen his car parked nearby, but nothing beyond that. He was gone like a ghost, once again, and you were mourning his absence.

But, as strange as it was to return to normalcy after such an unexpected turn of events, it felt good to be back on track.

To put on a costume, cover your face in shimmers, and take on the role of someone who wasn't really you. This girl was cheerful and optimistic; she wasn't depressed because a boy wasn’t in love with her. She had a lover who loved her back and held her tenderly while he danced with her over ice. And even if it only lasted for a short while, you got to share her joy, and felt it pour out of your own chest as the sound of applause took the place of the music...

And then that goddamn whistle blew.

Not just any whistle... but kind you improvise by taking the tips of your fingers to your mouth and blowing. It was familiar, for sounding so completely out of place amid the conventional clapping.

Your head snapped up to face the audience, eyes unapologetically searching for a particular face in the crowd.

Harry’s,

That was his whistling. The one you hadn't gotten to hear in months. The one you never thought you would miss if it wasn't there, but you did... a lot.

Funnily enough, you'd reprimanded him for doing it before, for considering it wasn't appropriate for this type of competition, but he always said he didn't care what other people thought; he'd cheer for his girlfriend regardless and clapping just wasn't his style.

There was no way this could have been him, though...

Harry hadn't attended your championships since your breakup, and you couldn't think of a good enough reason for him to come back now… unless he had come to see someone else, but if he wasn't here for you, why would he be cheering so hard for the competition?

You'd already given up on scanning the crowd as you skated off the ice, but when Niall turned to you and asked, “What’s Styles doing here? Did you invite him?” that stubborn, burning itch was rekindled inside of you.

“No, of course I didn’t invite him.” Your voice was quiet, but it still sounded startled. “Was that really him, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I'm sure… but you can check for yourself if you want. He’s sitting right next to exit B.”

You tried to sneak a peek, but you didn’t get the chance to because as soon as you got close to the border Paul, one of the skating coaches you worked with, came over to discuss your performance. As much as you would have liked that not to be the case, there was no truth in saying that the coach's arrival took your mind off Harry right then and there, but you forced yourself to focus. There were more important things. He wasn't the top priority. He was a baffling enigma.

“Do you think we did well? I got the feeling my landing after the Toe Loop was a little wonky…” You asked, concerned about the ranking. You were pleased with how you had performed in the short program, but the technical errors made during the free skating segment worried you a little.

Niall grunted a laugh in response to your question. “You think yours was bad? How about mine during the Axel? I completely messed it up.”

“We'll work hard to improve those for the next phase of the championship, which I'm still confident you'll be cleared for.” Paul attempted to reassure you before you began hurling more questions at him. He wasn't usually one to try and avoid other people's drama, but he did during championships, since his stress levels were already at an all-time high. “The duo that came before you were technically very good, but they had a big issue with emotional delivery, which is not a problem for you two.”

“Do you really believe that we’re clear then?” asked Niall, who was beginning to look a little more relieved.

“I’d be outraged if not, but let’s wait for the judges' verdict... they’ll announce your score at any moment now. We’ll still have to wait to see how the other pairs do, but I’m not expecting any big surprises.”

Sure enough, not long after Paul finished speaking, you heard what sounded like the beginning of an announcement. “Oh God, I think it’s happening- quick, someone hold my hand.” Niall stepped forward as soon as you asked, and when your scoring sheet came, you both immediately focused on it - scrutinizing all the details of the technical elements and program components of your performance. “Please, please, please, please…oh my- Ahh!!” Your muttering turned into a shriek as Niall’s arms encircled your shoulders in a tight embrace. You both laughed out loud and started jumping up and down as soon as you hugged him back. It was a thrilling moment.

Despite a few technical flaws, you were able to match your score from the previous year, what indicated that you would not only progress to the next phase but most likely also make it to the podium.

“It was well deserved, my dears… bravo!” Paul, who had been peeking at the sheet from behind you, commended with a clap.

“We wouldn’t have done it without you, coach.”

“I appreciate the compliment, but it was your hard work that got you here. I only made a few tweaks here and there.” In all of his extreme campiness, the man grinned broadly and clapped enthusiastically. “Oh, what an amazing effort and outcome! I can't say I'm surprised when you are my favorite skaters to watch… together with the new girl who arrived from Xiamen, of course.”

“Mei?” A flustered Niall asked upon hearing the coach mention the girl he knew well.

“Ah yes, she’s marvelous! I tried to pair her up with Maurice as soon as she got here but sadly, she refused. Said that apart from you Niall, none of the male skaters were at level with her and well, what could I say? She wasn’t wrong.” Niall's flushed cheeks escaped Paul's notice because his attention was drawn somewhere in the back. It was well-off because if it hadn't been, Paul might have had the urge to play cupid. If there was one thing he adored more than teaching, it was putting pairs together, especially when they were actual lovebirds. “Oh no, I believe I just saw one of my students explode into tears...” Despite the way he took his hand to his chest in dramatic fashion, there was a hint of amusement in his voice. “Better go check out the situation over there now… but once again, my darlings… congrats, and good luck!”

“Thanks, coach.” You both spoke as Paul fled the scene. But as soon as the two of you were alone together, Niall turned to you and exclaimed, “Wow, did you hear that? How cool is it that she thinks I'm at level with her?” He grinned to himself like lovesick fool, “Do you think there could be any another meaning to that?”

“I think it means she thinks you’re cute.” That sounded like something one would say if they were interested. “And, has probably fantasized about being your skating partner, which won’t happen because I’m not up for trading you with Maurice either, but you should definitely ask her out.”

“Do you really think so?” You made a gesture as though the answer was obvious. “What should I ask her to do, then? I'm not even sure what options there are. I'm terrible at planning dates.”

“Hmm… she seems a bit competitive, so I imagine she would like something she could beat you at, like bowling or the arcade. But you could also play it safe and take her to the aquarium instead; that's always a win.”

“Oh man, you're really good at this,” He noted down your suggestions on his phone so he wouldn't forget them later. “Oh, and by the way, I didn’t want to switch partners either... you know how gassy I get when I'm nervous for a performance. I can't let her see me like that.”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t remind me.”

Since Niall seemed to be distracted by his thoughts and phone, you took the opportunity to approach the rink's edge and have a look at the benches near exit B.

The sight made your stomach drop.

Harry wasn’t there.

However, there was a vacant seat in the back, suggesting that someone had been sitting there up until recently. You thought he'd stick around until you left...

Your heart had been racing at the prospect of seeing him after the contest was over, but now that he was gone, you were beginning to suspect that you weren't the skater who had enticed him to attend.

That empty seat - it sent your mind into a tailspin and brought back the one reason why you had broken up with that…

Backstabbing traitor.

Honestly, you were furious at your own stupidity for harboring expectations. He didn't care about you. Never had, never would. He only cared about himself.

Niall joined you at the border, leaning against it like you were. “We have to go out tonight to celebrate. I don't even care if we make the top three; the fact that we're sure we'll go to the next phase is enough for me.”

You put on a brave face. “Where were you thinking of going?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere we don’t have to drive to. My goal is to consume enough alcohol to have no memory of how I got home tomorrow morning.”

“Huh uh, and then it's up to me to put up with your drunken gibberish and drag you to bed at the end of the night… got it.”

“Eh, I'm sure I’d make it on my own... it wouldn't be the first time.” He half- shouldered and after a brief moment of silence, offered a suggestion. “I heard there will be a party tonight at the sports bar. It'd be fun to go, but I don't know... there’s a chance the hockey team will be there.”

You took a deep breath in, “I have no problem going if you want... even if they're there. I don't give a damn about them.”

“Seriously? Awesome then! It's going to be fun; you'll see... and there will be other girls there too. I think Natalia will, at least... I saw her posting about it on Facebook.” Niall reported enthusiastically, already animated about the plans. You tried to look lively as well, or at least smile a little.

“Will Mei be there?”

“Oh, I have no idea. I hope not... or yes, I don't even know.”

You forced a smile again, thinking to yourself that that was exactly how you felt about a very, very infuriating player.

It was almost certainly the worst party of the century, and you'd gotten dressed up for it.

There was music playing, but it was at such a low volume that it was completely drowned out by the sound of the television, which was, predictably, broadcasting sports nonstop. An NFL game was currently on, but you weren't even interested enough to bother finding out who was partaking. The whites were pitted against the blues. That was all you needed to know.

You and Niall had taken a seat in a quiet corner, wanting to hold a table in reserve for when the bar started getting crowded. That hadn’t exactly happened, at least not in the way you had anticipated. Several people had arrived, but none of them were especially fascinating to you.

There was an old man drinking alone, three suit-clad men in their 40s, a group made out of six male friends and two supportive girlfriends, a super fan of one of the teams playing who spoke more to the television than everyone else in the room combined, and, interestingly enough, Natalia.

She was the only reason why you stayed instead of going elsewhere.

When she walked into the bar and saw you and Niall, a look of great relief had taken over her entire face. She'd sat down at your table and hadn't gotten up since. Five consecutive beers later, Niall was already slightly boozed up.

Because of your early bird sleep schedule, you guys didn't typically come out for drinks much. As a result, it didn't take long for him to start getting a little drowsy while staring intently at the TV, leaving you to listen to Natalia's ramblings.

That was what you got for choosing soda over something stronger.

She had been telling you about how she’d went there to meet a guy she was casually texting with, but apparently the night had changed his plans and he had ended up going to another bar with his friends.

She still had plans to meet him there until the night was done but was currently pretending to be busy and unconcerned as payback. All he had heard from her in the last 2 hours was that she had ran into some friends and decided to hang out with them a while. “You know… just so he doesn't think I’m that interested,” she had confided to you after taking a sip of her beer.

Speaking of beer, Niall had practically passed out on top of his. He was officially knocked out, and you were going to have to take him home soon. This party was shit, but the mere thought of dragging your well-built friend up the stairs of your apartment was making you want to stay longer.

Fortunately, Natalia offered to help you carry him because she was also going in that direction, and ultimately ended up assisting you in putting him to bed, and using your bathroom as well. On her way out, you offered to walk her to the door, at which point she gave you a once-over and questioned, “Would you like to come to this other party with me?” 

You blew air out of your cheeks. “Ha, thanks but I'm not sure I want to go out again...”

“Oh, okay. It's just….you’ve dressed up so nicely. If I were you, I think I wouldn't resign myself to that lame party we went to. I would have thought it would be a waste of that outfit.” She bounced on her heels. “Just for a little while? It's not far. It's practically right next door.”

“Where is it again?”

“At the other sports bar—I know, it sounds dull—but this one is packed because the hockey team is having a party there.”

You knew which bar she was referring to, and its location wasn't exactly what you considered to be right next door. Sure, it was within walkable distance, but it was getting late. A little too late for a girl to be safe walking by herself outside.

You realized that keeping Natalia company just because you didn’t want her to walk alone was dumb since you would be putting yourself in the same predicament on the way home, but you still felt bad knowing she would be walking by herself there.

Besides, she was right; you deserved to be seen by more people. And, especially by a certain hockey player who had been dumb enough not to appreciate what he had while he had it. The only problem was that, as usual, he wasn't really in the mood for being appreciative.

He was in the mood to be nasty, and his expression made that clear when he didn't look the least bit pleased to see you arrive.

The razor sharp glance he sent your way caused your confidence to dwindle. He didn't want you at this bar, and fortunately for both of you, you weren't in the frame of mind to defy his wishes. As a matter of fact, you had already turned around and exited the same door you had entered through, but then you heard him approach you from behind. “What the fuck are you doing out here alone?” His intervention stopped you in your tracks, but you never turned to face him. He crossed the sidewalk to get to you. “Where’s Niall?”

“In bed.” You responded candidly. “I just came to walk a friend, but don’t worry… I'm already leaving.”

“Alone?”

“Obviously. Unless, of course, you have any intentions of walking home with me, which I doubt.”

“Why would I ever wanna do that?” He asked brusquely, but his voice instantly grew softer when he noticed your dejected grimace. “Would you like me to?”

“Would it make any difference if I did?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“You know what? Fuck you.” God, that felt great to get off your chest. “Seriously, why do you have to act so goddamn cold around me all the time?! It's aggravating!”

He snorted in disbelief. “Fuck me? No, fuck you. It was you who made me in this way! You broke me.” He got closer, until he was practically in your face. “How am I supposed to act Y/N? Tell me, how do you want me to act after what you did to me?”

“After what I've done to you? I was in love with you, you jerk!”

“Why did you break up with me, then?”

It didn't matter that you weren't scared of him, you still weren't immune to the pressure his eyes were putting on you. Your façade was crumbling. “You know why.”

“Cut the shit, Y/N.” He insisted, practically snarling. “You're lying to me, just like you did before. I saw it in your fucking eyes the other day, and I see it right now! Why did you break up with me?”

Harry’s agitating proximity was making you lose your cool. For the first time, you felt compelled to answer the question truthfully, so you did, “Because I found out you were cheating on me.”

His face fell. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Harry. I saw your dms all right? ‘can't talk right now, gf’s here. i’ll hit you up as soon as she leaves’, does that ring any bells? No? How about ‘nah, we’re fine. she won’t get sus.’?”

“I swear to God, I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Really? Well then, maybe you forgot the texts, but I'm sure you remember the nudes she sent you, don't you?”

“What nudes?”

“Stop, okay? I saw it with my own eyes! She was sending you disappearing photos. I’m not stupid, Harry- I know what that feature is for! And then you asked for more, from different angles, and when she sent them you were all like ‘wow. those look amazing’… Oh! and of course, my personal favorite, ‘definitely much better than hers lol’.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I am talking about a skater who came here in the last competition. The one you were going to meet up with behind my back.” He appeared to be totally lost as his brows were furrowed deeply. “Oh wait, I think I get it now. She wasn't the only one, was she? That’s why you don't remember. You’ve probably lost track.”

“I never cheated on you.” It almost sounded true the way he said it. Shame that you knew he was lying. “I might have talked with a girl or two while we were dating, but never with that purpose in mind and I’ve certainly never made plans to meet any of them.”

Your scoff was loud and clear. “So you want me to believe that it was all a coincidence that after you cancelled our plans that day, I happened to walk into the locker rooms and there was a girl saying she was going to be meeting up with you at the time we were supposed to be hanging out?"

“And you believed her?”

“Why would I not believe her, Harry? She showed me the convo. She showed me your profile. It was you!”

“Hold on, wait- you said she was a skater?”

“Yeah, and-” Unexpectedly, Harry started laughing, as if he thought this was some kind of practical joke that you were playing on him. “What are you laughing about you maniac?”

He kept laughing, but his laughter had become cynical, like he couldn’t believe this could actually be happening. “That bitch. That big fucking bitch…” He wrapped his arms over his head and started pacing aimlessly. “She came up to you and told you that bullshit? How did she even know who you were? ‘Cause I didn’t tell her… wanna know why? Because of this! Because I know how bigmouthed skaters are and I didn't want her to start spreading shit around.”

You crossed your arms. “Oh, so you're admitting to it, then?”

“No!” Harry shouted; a bit louder than he meant to. “I mean yes, I talked to her, but none of what she told you is true.” You rolled your eyes, still not convinced. “I don't get how you believed her though. What, some girl comes up to you like “hey, sorry to break it to you but your boyfriend is a cheater”, and you just believe her? Is that really how little you trusted me? I mean, fuck Y/N…”

“That is not how it happened, asshole.” You responded defensively. “I overheard her talk with her friend, so I butted in on their conversation. I pretended I was just a fan of yours and asked her to give me the scoop. She got all haughty and told me everything, including the juicy bits.”

“What juicy bits? There were no juicy bits…” He brought his fingers to his eyes and rubbed them ferociously. His anguish was evidenced by the tic. “Why didn't you ask me? Couldn't you just make a scene? Slap me? Call me names? I mean, shit… If you had asked me I would have explained myself and all this shit would have been avoided. But no, of course you couldn't just ask. You had to break up with me through a text out of the blue, saying you liked someone else and leave me thinking you were in love with fucking Niall or some shit.”

“You thought I was in love with Niall? Are you actually insane?”

“Is it really so far-fetched? I mean, you two are always together, and when you're skating he's always holding you and touching you and whatnot. I always thought he was a bit too handsy with you, so it wasn't hard to assume...”

“Harry… Niall is my best friend.”

“What are you trying to say, then? That nothing happened between you two? Even in the past few weeks, whenever I would ask you something, you would always be like, “Oh, I was just with Niall doing this or that”. It was like- like you were rubbing it in my face.” You felt glad that Harry was finally speaking up and expressing his feelings, even if his words were still tinged with bitterness. “I went crazy on Tuesday when you told me he was waiting for you in the car. Just the thought of him taking you home and touching you like I used to made me so... resentful, I guess that’d be the best word to describe it. I wanted to get even with you. To make you feel used in the same way I did. To prove to you that I was better and that you had made the wrong choice by picking him. I wanted to give you a taste of what it was like and then take it away. Even worse, I wanted you to feel guilty about cheating on him, without any real gratification to back it up.”

You exhaled in disbelief, shaking your head. “So that's what that thing on Tuesday was about? It was revenge ‘cause you thought I had left you to go be with Niall? Christ, Harry… I never imagined you'd think it was him, much less that you’d care if it was.” You paused, taking a deep breath before telling him the whole truth. “I only said I liked someone ‘cause I thought getting dumped would hit you harder if you felt like you were easy to replace. I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing you had hurt me, so figured if you thought I wasn't that into you, I'd have the upper hand in some way.”

“Fuck, Y/N…You really fucking crushed my heart that day. I've never felt more miserable in my life.”

“It was your fault for having conversations with other girls behind my back. And just to get things straight, even if it was just sexting and you had no intentions of doing anything, that still counts as cheating and it's enough reason for me to be glad I ended things with you.”

“I told you already, I never sexted with her. There was only one reason why we were talking and that was because I was going to buy something for you.”

“What-” You choked momentarily. “What are you referring to?”

“Your coach said you needed to get a replacement for something. Something you didn't want to ask your mom money for because she had just bought you a new outfit for the competition.” You blinked twice, as recollections prior to that day began to flood back to you. “Do you remember now?”

“What, you mean like the new blades for my skates?” There was an urgent expression on Harry's face, as well as a look of impending madness in his eyes. He nodded his head. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Did you notice her skates?”

“No, not really.” You replied honestly. You supposed that your indescribable rage at the time toward her and your ex-boyfriend might have prevented you from noticing that minor detail, but so what? Why was that relevant?

“She was wearing Riedells, but she used to wear Jacksons, the exact same model you have.”

“Okay…?”

His hands touched your arms as he came closer. “She added me on Instagram, and I saw that she was selling her old skate blades for a good price. She had to get new boots and ended up changing brands, so she opted to get new blades too.” You were a bit baffled, but nevertheless interested in seeing where he was going with this. “The point is she was looking to sell her Jackson blades second-hand, and I was going get them ‘cause they were practically new, and even had that cool purple finish you liked and all that. The so-called nudes you thought she was sending me were actually pictures of her skates because I wanted to make sure everything was in good shape before I bought it.”

His revelation shocked you to your core, leaving you shaking your head in bewilderment. “Why in the world would you do that?”

He locked his wide-eyed gaze on yours, as if the answer should be evident. “‘Cause your crusty, old-ass blades were holding you back! You were off the ice sharpening them every 10 minutes. Everyone could tell. Even your coach kept pointing it out.”

“Yeah but why would you do something like that behind my back?”

“Because you would have thrown a fit if I told you beforehand. You would have never let me get them even if it was a good deal.” He took his phone out of his coat pocket and started fiddling with it as he spoke. “Here. Just for the sake of transparency, I'd like you to read the whole thing. That way you can get rid of any suspicions you might still have.” After some scrolling, he found the old conversation, opened it, passed the phone to your hands and waited.

His body language indicated that he was impatient for you to finish reading, but he gave you some time to do so. “Are you done?” He inquired as soon as you stared at him. Face now dotted in tears from regret upon realizing he was telling the truth.

“I’m sorry, I-” Your tone was broken. The moment after you handed back the phone, you practically collapsed to the ground, shielding your eyes with your hands to try to contain your tears. “I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions based on what that girl told me... she was lying and I- I fell for it like an idiot when I should have known better. You were my boyfriend, and I- I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I should have confronted you and asked for an explanation instead of just breaking up with you without telling you the real reason why.”

“Baby, hey…” Harry knelt beside you and supported your back, refusing to let you sit on the street floor. “We’ll figure it out, okay? We're talking. There's no need to be sad about it now. Come on, let's sit on a bench or something.” You stood up after saying yes with your head. As Harry sat beside you, his hand clutched yours. He touched it lovingly before and after he began speaking, “I'm really sorry too... for being too proud to question you about it. After your text, I kind of just assumed you had been using me to make Niall jealous and stuff. It made me feel stupid, which is why I didn't initially intervene when our coach messed up your practice. You were right, I could have said something, but as childish as it sounds, I saw that as a way to get back at the two of you.”

“I suppose we were both idiots, right?” You asked, turning your head to face him with a sniffle. “We’ve ruined something good just because we were too scared to speak of it.”

He chuckled briefly, almost painfully. “Yeah, I guess so…” His gaze paused on his feet for a moment before returning to you. “We could still um... try, if you want to.”

You sniffled once more, this time with a glimmer of hope. “Try?”

“Yeah, to get back together. If you wanted to, I can't think of any reason why we shouldn't.”

Your mind wandered for a moment. There was something missing from the proposal. Your heart liked it, but something more was needed. “Do you even like me, or are you saying that just because it feels like the right thing to do?”

“Do I like you? Y/N, I love you.” It was Harry's hands that lifted your face off the floor, so you had to look him in the eyes. Those dazzling, bright green eyes of his. “Do you love me?”

“Yeah, I do, quite a lot…” With a big smile on his face, Harry brought his gaze to your lips, a silent warning of what was coming next. It was a beautiful moment, but the brat in you couldn't resist, “…considering Niall is still unavailable and all…”

Harry's fingers wrapped around your jaw and squeezed your cheeks a little. “Not funny.” His lips touched yours.

Your lips touched his. “A little funny.”

“Don’t upset me.”

“Why?” You nipped his lower lip. “What are you going to do, Harry?”

“It’s dirty...”

“Now I really want to know.”

He flashed a sly smile, then leaned over and touched your ear with his lips. “I’m going to take you home with me and have you make up for all the time you made me go without that mouth.” Your breath caught in your throat as you considered what he had said, and once you finally let it out, it came out as a whimper. His hand squeezed your thigh in response. “Gonna lick you too... make you cum… how does that sound, princess?”

A blur filled the distance between the bar and Harry's rented flat. The only thing you could recall was the warm dampness of his mouth stealing kisses from yours as he took your hand and led you there.

There were also reminiscences of kissing at the front door, in the hallway, on the bedroom wall, and finally on the bed, where you hurriedly undressed one another out of an intense desire to see and touch again.

Harry's eyes were filled with hunger. It was not surprising that a few moments later you were sprawled across the bedding, with a very hungry mouth lapping at the space between your spread-out legs. “You love it when I bury my face in your pussy like this, don’t you? Your thighs are shaking so much…”

“Can you really blame me? You're- ngh, so good.”

“Mmm, baby... when you're this tasty and creamy, it really isn't difficult. I could lick you around here all day…” He gave your pussy a thorough, slow lick, his green eyes fixed on yours. “Maybe I will,”

Holding his hair a little tighter, you let out a panting breath. “I think I'd cum a lot.”

“Mhm, you’d look so cute cumming in my mouth…” He lowered his head once more, this time offering not only his tongue but also some suction. “Are you gonna cum in my mouth, Y/N? Gonna let me lick it all up?” That was his final set of questions before he went down with the intent of not coming back up until he got what he wanted. From there, the rise was quick and easy. Within a minute or so, you were whining loudly and shaking all over.

“Mm-hmm… ah, mm… I'm gonna cum in your mouth. I’m gonna come in your- I’m gonna-” You muttered as you got closer and closer, until finally, that nice, warm feeling swept through your entire body, causing it to writhe on the bed.

Harry still licked you for a while longer, moaning at the taste on his tongue and mumbling something about how hot and wet it was. He was having fun, so you let him have it until your clit started getting tender, at which point he stopped and crawled up to kiss you.

He was being very loving and gentle, but his reproductive system had other ideas. The heat of his erection touched your skin, reminding you that he was probably already experiencing some discomfort from being so horny, so you told him to be still and got on your belly in between his legs.

“Fuck baby…” He moaned, letting his head fall back as soon as he felt your soft lips close around his tip and sucking it into your mouth. “That’s perfect… nice and slow, suck me just like that...”

You did as he said, not that you had other option because you had a sensitive gag reflex. You could never really get your head to sink all that far. As soon as your lips passed the halfway point in the length, you started to choke on it. You were a little self-conscious about it at first, but Harry had never complained. He loved your blowies regardless, and whenever you asked him if he minded, he always argued that what got him most was watching you suck with eagerness, not how far you down could take it.

Meanwhile, you always used your hand to make up for what was missing and tried to maintain eye contact because you knew he liked to look into your eyes - especially when they started to become watery from the effort.

“Yes. Right there, baby… that feels so good.” He praised when you began alternating between sucking and licking the underside of his glans. You could tell he was getting close. The taste of precum in your mouth had grown stronger, and the muscles at the base were starting to get twitchier. “Keep your eyes open, look at me. Shit, so fucking hot.”

You were expecting him to finish, but instead he breathed in deeply and gently guided your head away. “Did it stop feeling good?”

He smiled broadly and caressed your cheek. “No, it was too good, that's why I stopped you.”

“We didn't have to stop; you know I like how it tastes.”

“I know, but I don't want it to end like this; I want to try other stuff.” He explained as he guided your body up onto the bed and into a  laid down position. His proposition intrigued you, despite the fact you didn't really know what he was plotting. He had your trust, even when he placed himself between your legs and opened them wide. “Do you mind if cum over your pussy while I rub up on you? It's more intimate this way.”

“No, I don't mind. It sounds hot.” You replied with a small chuckle, so he drew closer and rubbed his erection on you - collecting the moisture between your lips and continuing to spread it up from your hole. When he struck your clit, you moaned and let out a small “…that feels good.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” His hands held your knees in place while his hips took care of the rest. Harry was right; it felt more intimate like this, especially because your pleasure was being shared rather than taken in turns.

Rubbing up on each other was all you did for some time, until things started to heat up more. Harry re-grabbed his erection, which was growing hotter and harder, and guided it down to your hole. “Don’t panic, I’m not going to push it in.” He warned before you felt his tip nudge your opening, applying just a bit of pressure. “I want you to want me to push it in.”

“God, you’re so hot.” It was impossible not to say it after hearing that sentence come out of his mouth. Especially being aware that his intention wasn't to encourage you to ask right away, but to assure you that he wouldn't do anything unless you wanted him to. He would always respect your limits, no matter how difficult it was for him to refrain from going any further while gently pushing the tip in and out. At times he would groan a little and push a little harder, but then, just when you thought he was about to give in, he would pull out and go back to rubbing around your clit.

“Push it in.” You blurted out suddenly when he was about to do it again. “I can't handle any more of this go, no go situation. It feels really good, but it's driving me insane, and I bet it's driving you insane as well.”

Harry chuckled at your directness. “Yeah, it is a bit. I'm dying to break you in as I’m sure you can tell. I really want to fuck you, but I’ll hold out until-”

“I don't want to wait any longer. We've already waited far too long.”

“Okay, um… if you’re sure you want to...” He smiled and caressed your legs as he spoke. “If we skip on the rubber, is that okay with you? It'll feel better like this… and since it's your first time, I'm guessing you want to know what the real deal feels like. I'll pull out before, so don't worry.”

“Yeah, I think I'd like to know how natural feels first...”

“You'll love it, I'm sure.” He climbed on top of you, seizing the opportunity to love up on you a bit when he felt you place your arms around his back to pull him closer. “I’m going to do the exact same thing we were doing before. The only difference is that this time I'll be pushing to get inside, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” You nodded, pecking his lips again before saying, “You can go, I’m ready.”

Harry adjusted himself on top of you, getting into position, and then he pushed. Because of the foreplay, he didn't have to press all that hard for you to feel it slip inside. It didn't hurt nearly as much as you presumed. It was only a slight stretching, but it was a really pleasurable fullness. It was like, after all the buildup, your body was relieved to be getting what it had been craving.

Taking one step at a time, Harry’s hips swung back and forth to urge the rest of him inside as well. You were moaning under your breath from his thrusts, even though they were slow and tentative. “Are you alright? Is it hurting?” He asked when he noticed your noises becoming slightly louder.

“No, I'm fine- there’s no pain at all.”

“Good, that's awesome.” He said, clearly pleased with the news. “I'll move slowly at first. As we go, the pace will pick up a little. I promise to be gentle but let me know if you're uncomfortable with anything.”

“Okay but don't worry too much, I'm really enjoying it.”

“What if I do this?” As he asked the question, he moved his hips so that his tip was aligned with the inside spot his fingers always searched for.

“Oh- Mhm, that’s good.” It really was. It felt amazing- to be this close and full and have Harry holding you and grunting right next to your ear, all because your pussy was warm and making him feel good.

He began moving more freely once he sensed you letting go a little more. The sound of his hips slamming into yours was filthy, as were the sobs of pleasure coming from your mouths at every snap. “Fuck baby, you feel incredible around me.” Harry purred, “I'm glad we skipped the condom but being this close to you is driving my dick crazy. You're making it really hard for me not to-”

“It’s okay if you do, I don’t mind.”

You felt Harry’s head shake in response. “You before me.” He stated firmly, like that was an important criterion for him. His lips brushed up against your collarbone, then up to kiss your neck and your ear. “I’ll give you my dick all night if I have to. I don’t care how long it takes- you’ll cum on it.” He changed positions slightly and then, after checking his mouth for spit, lowered his hand and said, “…Perhaps a little extra would help-” before you felt his thumb start rubbing over your clit.

Your reaction was immediate – you twitched on the bed and made an obscene sound. Harry’s hips and thumb sped up in response to your moaning. “That's it, baby. Moan- show me what feels good.”

“Please nghh… I wanna cum, make me cum.”

“Fuck me, your pussy’s perfect.” By how tightly Harry’s other hand gripped your flesh, you could tell he was holding back not to burst. He usually held up well, but the time you guys had spent fondling had clearly affected him as much as it had you - not to mention the extra thrill of trying something new. “Come on baby, let’s go… just focus on the pleasure… think of how full you are-”

A moan and tremor accompanied your positive response to his words. “Mhm, that's me. You're full of me. It’s my dick inside you, making you feel good,” More spit was added to his hand, intensifying the sensations on your clit. “And that’s me here too… you can feel it, can’t you baby? Yeah, I know… do you like when I flick your little clit like that? It’s so wet… I bet it feels so good.”

Your unconscious was gripped by Harry’s words, that were forcing your mind to hone in on exactly what he was saying. “Oh my god,” You sobbed out loud as you began to feel your senses heighten beyond control and then, within mere seconds, your entire body was enveloped in a strong, warm sensation of pleasure all over again.

“Fuck- that’s right, baby. Cum for me- wanna feel you on my- Shit. Oh, fuck-” He pulled out at the last second – grunting as he jerked himself into spurting thick white cream over your clit and his thumb, that was still flicking over it to finish you off. “…Fuck yess.” That was his last growl, uttered once he started rubbing his dick on you again. His hand milked it down to the last drop, letting it sprinkle all over your swollen pussy lips.

Right after he finished, you looked into his eyes, and they were glowing. A big smile engulfed his face as he burst into laughter. His laugh was effervescent and contagious. You couldn't resist the urge to join him since the oxytocin rush was making you want to giggle as well.

“Are you okay?”

“Mhm, I’m okay. I promise.”

“Good, that's what I was most concerned about.” He explained as he stood up. “Let me just get something to clean you up while we unwind, okay? We made quite a mess.”

“Yeah, okay- thank you.” In an instant, Harry left the room and came back carrying a towel that had been soaked in hot water. He sat at your feet and began cleaning you gently. You smiled as you watched him. “Was it good for you?”

He returned your smile. “It was you, so… how could it not be good? It was like, way better than good… but uh, I want to know from your perspective. How did you like it?”

“It was perfect- everything was. Honestly, it couldn’t have been more perfect. I don't think many girls have a first time that’s this nice.” You tensed a little when you saw him inspect your hole; he touched it with his fingers and opened it to look. You had no idea what he was looking for, but you guessed he was just curious to see what had changed. “Am I bleeding?”

“Not that I can see, no. I was a little worried because I thought I might have been too rough. I don’t know, I wasn't planning on doing this today, but it happened and…” He paused, then knelt on the bed and kissed the area between your legs softly. They were appreciative kisses. “I guess I just want to make sure that you're okay and happy with how it went.”

Your fingers stroked his hair as he continued to kiss you. His eyes locked on yours. “I wasn’t expecting it to happen today either, but I'm happy it did, and I’m not saying it just for the sake of saying it. It was really perfect and no, not rough at all. It was really good... and special, like you wanted.” The sparkle in his eyes suggested how pleased he was to hear those words come from your mouth. “I’m really, really happy that it was you.”

“I’m really, really fucking happy that it was me too.”

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[fandomnsfw]

Heal Me - Draco Malfoy x Reader

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader (Ex Ron Weasley)

Prompt: Be Alright by Dean Lewis

Warning: SMUT as always. A bit of angst I guess.

Thank you @lets-imagine-fanfics for editing as usual. True gem.

Enjoy!!!

*********

He looked down at the ground, his eyes never meeting yours as you reached for his hand which he quickly pulled away from you. You frowned but let it go as you waited for him to talk. The silence was painful, like every wound made during your love for him was being ripped open. You could tell something was wrong but you couldn’t quite figure out what it was. 

“I-I can’t do this anymore.” He whispered brokenly, tears in his eyes as he finally looked up to meet your eyes. 

“Okay.” You whispered as your throat began to feel like it was closing up. What could you say? Beg him to not leave you? What good would that do guilt him into staying in a relationship he clearly wasn’t happy in anymore. 

“I-I’m sorry, I-” 

“It’s fine. I-I’m gonna g-grab my stuff then go and stay with a friend.” You whispered fearing if you spoke any louder, you’d break.  

You stood up, making your way to your previously shared bedroom grabbing a bag with an extendable charm on it and began packing everything that was yours that you could see. Silently moving between rooms to collect everything you had. He hadn’t moved from the couch, his hand buried in his shaggy red hair. 

Once everything was packed you grabbed the bag and your wand, you made your way to the living room again, his attention instantly on you as he looked at you with tears streaming down his face. 

“Y-Y/N.” He stuttered brokenly as he stepped closer toward you but you just stepped back shaking your head. 

“Don’t, Ron. I knew this was coming…it’s always been her.” You whispered brokenly as you looked at the book on the coffee table. 

“That’s hers, right? Not Harry’s.” You added cynically, before looking into his tear-filled blue eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered brokenly as finally your tears began to fall. Thankfully it was just as you apparated to the only place on your mind at that moment. 

You saw the familiar sight of the dark green and black living room. You collapsed to the floor, tears streaming down your face barely registering a pair slender arms wrapping around you as you let out a broken sob burying your face into the chest of the only person you could think of that wasn’t also friends with your now ex boyfriend. 

“Hey, Y/N. Talk to me, sweetheart, what happened?” His soothing voice trembled against your hair as he held you as close as he could. 

“C-Can I stay here?” You sobbed as your body tried to disappear into his arms. 

“You’re always welcome here, darling.” He whispered into your shoulder as he held you through your tears. 

You don’t know how long you cried but when you finally stop you pulled away to look up at your best friend with red eyes. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before wiping away the left-over tears. 

“Did that Weasel hurt you?” He asked with a frown as he looked ready to murder Ron. 

“No…not physically.” You whispered brokenly as you gave him a sad smile. 

“It was always gonna be her.” You chuckled darkly as he helped you stand up. 

“He’s a fucking idiot.” Draco hissed making you smile at him. 

“B-But I love him.” You whimpered as your tears start back up. 

“Shhh I know, darling. It’ll be okay I promise.” Draco whispered into your ear as as her picked you up and began carrying you towards his bedroom. 

“I’ve got you love.” He soothed you as he laid you both on the bed pulling you into his arms. 

He stroked your hair softly as he held you. Not saying a word as he allowed you to cry into his chest. Your heart clenched every time you thought about the red head, you’d spent 4 years of your life loving. You felt like you’d never breathe again. 

******* 

You must’ve passed out after a while because when you came to you could hear shouting coming from the living room. You frowned standing up, your head throbbing as you did. As soon as you walked into the living room you instantly spotted the other half of the reason for your current dehydration and heart break. 

“Y-Y/N.” She whispered softly as she tried to approach you. 

“Get out.” You muttered quietly as Draco stood in front of you protectively. 

“Y/N, please. Nothing happened. I would never do anything while you guys were still together. You have to know that!” She cried, wiping her tears as they fell. 

“I asked you! After the war I asked you if there was anything there, despite the fact that he was my boyfriend already! I ASKED you and you said no. You lied to my face and now after we have a flat together, a life together. NOW you two decided to finally get your shit together! How dare you come here to the one place I feel safe and the one place Ron would never come… GET. OUT.” You screamed making her eyes widen. She nodded and hurried out of Draco’s house.  

“God, that felt good to get out.” You sighed softly as Draco looked down at you. 

“Come on, let’s get you some water and food.” Draco chuckled as he guided you to the kitchen. 

“Where’s Astoria?” You asked trying to ignore the fact that you’d just screamed at someone you’d been friends with for years. 

“Theo didn’t tell you? We broke up last month. She was talking about marriage and kids. I just don’t see that with her, so I figured it was best to end it.” Draco stated as he passed you a glass of water and waved his wand making some food begin cooking by itself on the hob. 

“Marriage? Kids? You guys haven’t even been together a year!” You chuckled before gulping down the water, your head throbbing as you did. 

When you’d finished the glass, you put it in the sink and proceeded to take a seat at the breakfast bar. Draco silently stared at you clearly unsure on whether he was okay to ask. You smiled sadly and looked down at your fingers. 

“Things have been off for a few weeks but I just put it down to the stress from work. There was a book on the coffee table that wasn’t his and I thought it was odd but he said it was Harry’s. Like an idiot I believed it. Then today he sat me down told me he didn’t wanna be with me. I wasted 4 almost 5 years on that bastard!” You snapped angrily as you reached into your pocket pulling out a cigarette which Draco instantly pulled out his wand lighting it with wordless magic.  

“I always told you. You’re too good for that Weasel.” Draco huffed with a smirk on his face. 

“I should’ve just married you like our parents wanted.” You chuckled making him grin. 

“Oh yeah. I’m probably much better in the sack too.” Draco snickered as you slapped his arm playfully but his words somehow brought a smile to your face. 

“Oh yeah that’s definitely why Astoria wanted to marry you so fast. Nothing to do with the money AT all.” You giggled making him gasp in a fake pained expression. 

“You wound me, darling. I am more than deep pockets.” He laughed as he nudged you softly. 

“You know I’m kidding. You’re handsome, kind, protective, loyal to those you love AND you have deep pockets!-” You snickered jokingly. “-Seriously though, you’re a great guy Dray. Any girl would be lucky to have you.” You chuckled with a sincere smile. 

“And you are fucking gorgeous, gentle, giving, loyal, funny, intelligent and also rather rich if I remember rightly.” Draco whispered teasingly as food finally finished cooking itself. 

Both plates floated over filled with garlic bread, spaghetti and meatballs. You smiled appreciatively as you slowly dug into the food trying to ignore the protests of your stomach. You and Draco made casual conversation as you ate never bringing up Ron or Hermione, which you were eternally grateful for. 

By the time you ate half you could feel your stomach rejecting the idea of eating anymore so you pushed the rest away and turned to Draco who was silently pushing his spaghetti round his plate. You frowned knowing something was on his mind but knew he wouldn’t bring it up because he was trying to be there for you. 

“Spill. I know when something’s bothering you.” You sighed as you rest your hand on his shirt covered arm. 

“I know I don’t want kids and marriage with Astoria, but I do want kids and marriage. I just don’t see that happening. I’m an ex-Death Eater. I’m a Malfoy and the only options are muggles and just because I don’t mind muggles, doesn’t mean my family won’t.” He stated rather sadly making your eyes widen. 

“I-I know your hearts broken and you hate all men right now and love. But I wanna fall in love. I wanna look forward to coming home to a woman I love.” He added making you frown. 

“Dray. You’ll fall in love; you still have your whole life ahead of you. We’re only 21, Love.” You chuckled gently, your eyes softening as you gazed at him sympathetically. 

“Maybe.” He whispered absently as he pushed away his plate waving his wand to send the dishes to clean themselves. 

******* 

Three weeks had gone by since your break-up with Ron and you were feeling a lot better. You and Draco had gotten into a routine, you would go wake up at 6am in Draco’s guest room across from his bedroom. You’d take a shower then at 6.30am you would make breakfast along with a pot of tea and some coffee before waking Draco up for work at 7am. You would eat breakfast together then you’d both set off to work at about 7.45am.  

When you both got home: you at 5pm; Draco at 6-7pm, you would make food, or you would order out, then you’d spend the night laughing and watching Muggle TV together until you both got tired. Today was a weekend though, so Draco had insisted you both went to the pub because you hadn’t been out except for work in three weeks.  

You were hesitant but Draco had promised if you hated it and wanted to go home, he would happily take you home. He had annoyingly told you to make an effort because he knew it would make you feel more like yourself, despite your protests. 

You slipped on a satin green shirt dress that cinched in at the waist, a pair of suede black over the knee heeled boots, a suede black clutch with a silver snake on the front and some silver necklaces and rings. 

You did your makeup with a nude glam look since you didn’t want to overdo it for the pub. That thought quickly became a joke when you came out to find Draco in a full suit. You rolled your eyes and dragged him straight back to his room to scan through his wardrobe. You instantly spotted a leather jacket and changed his blazer for that before grabbing a plain dark green T-shirt and a pair of dark grey acid wash jeans with rips in the knees. You passed them to him telling him to wear the docs you’d bought him two years ago.  

When you apparated to the pub it was quite empty which you were grateful for. Draco went to get drinks as you found a seat in the corner of the room putting your clutch on the leather booth seat right next to your thigh. 

You laughed as Draco came over carrying 4 different drinks and 6 shots on a tray. You rolled your eyes but decided to just indulge him for tonight. It wouldn’t hurt to let loose for one night. You laughed as Draco downed all three shots one after the other. 

“Rough day?” You snorted as you began sipping one of the cocktails he’d brought over. 

“Astoria showed up at 3am drunk. Claimed she wanted to try again, I had to spend over an hour explaining I didn’t love her. I put a silencing spell on the room so we wouldn’t wake you. Then she went mental saying we must’ve been shagging while I was with her. Then I spent another hour explaining how I would never do that to anyone and you didn’t see me like that.” He sighed as he took a big gulp of his fire whiskey. 

“Wow, she’s a head-case. I’d keep an eye on your car…she might key it.” You snickered making him roll his eyes playfully. 

“I don’t have a car.” He huffed his eyes creasing with laughter. 

“Oh yeah, you should be fine then.” You giggled as you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

You drank your shots a little more slow than Draco but eventually he ran off to get more drinks leaving you happily buzzed in the corner of the pub. Draco came back to the table with a pitcher of some sort of blue drink that made you laugh reminding you of your days back when you finally turned 18 going to Muggle clubs with Draco, Theo, Pansy and Blaise getting wasted and eating a greasy kabab from the local take away.  

While Draco poured you both a glass of whatever was in the glass jug, you glanced around the room and just as your eyes reached to the door, in walked your former boyfriend and his best friend. You instantly grabbed Draco’s hand under the table making him jump a little, thankfully he didn’t spill the jug of liquid, but he looked up in alarm until he spotted what made you grab him. 

“Hey, look at me.” Draco whispered gripping you chin gently and forcing you to turn towards him. You stared into his icy blue eyes momentarily getting lost in them. Had his eyes always been this mesmerising? Were you that drunk? You felt pretty bloody sober. You thought anxiously as he finally spoke. 

“Ignore him. You’re with me and we’re not going to let him ruin our night.” Draco whispered, his eyes never leaving yours as his hand slid from your chin to brush the little strand of hair framing your face away from your eye. 

“O-Okay.” You stuttered, hoping he would put it down to the fact that your ex had walked into the pub, and not because him being so close was suddenly making your heart pound in your chest. 

“Now, drink your atrocious blue drink then we’re going to dance like that lovely old couple over there.” He snickered, pointing at the little old couple dancing to whatever music was playing in the background. 

“I am not dancing.” You laughed as you sipped your blue drink which was surprisingly nice. 

“Please.” He pouted as he tilted his head rather cutely. How is someone so confident and sexy able to look so cute? 

“Fine.” You sighed softly as you downed your drink and grabbing his hand. 

You lead him to the makeshift dance floor where only the old couple were dancing. He spun you around before pulling you in close as he began swaying to the music. You rest your head on his shoulder, one hand holding his while the other was cupping the back of his neck instead of being on his shoulder. Your chest pressed against his as you both got lost in the music. 

“Don’t look but ginge is very blatantly staring at us with a glare on his face.” Draco whispered in your ear softly, you barely registered what he said because his hot breath against your ear was doing things to you. 

“I don’t care. I’m enjoying my night.” You whispered back your lips brushing against his ear which surprisingly made him visibly shiver. 

“Well, it appears he doesn’t care because he’s coming over here, Love. Do you want me to handle it?” He asked softly as he pulled back to look into your eyes. 

“No, we’re going to ignore him.” You stated with a half smile. 

“Y/N…can I talk to you?” Ron said from behind you, making Draco glare at him. 

“I think you’ve said everything that needed to be said.” You state calmly as you continue dancing with Draco his hand soothing up and down your back. 

“I knew it wouldn’t be long until you snaked your way in, Malfoy.” Ron hissed at Draco making him grip your hips a little too tightly as you pulled away to glare at your ex-boyfriend. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You snapped making his eyes settle on you. 

“Oh, please, he’s always had a thing for you. He was just waiting for his time.” Ron snorted bitterly making you glance at Draco who made no move to deny it. 

“You mean like Hermione…oh wait I forgot she didn’t even wait did she.” You snarled making Ron’s eyes widen. 

“Whether Draco and I are together or not is not your business anymore, is it? So why don’t you go sit with your friend and enjoy your night like I was until you ruined it.” You added making his eyes narrow again before he stormed off back towards Harry who was smiling sympathetically at you. 

You turned to Draco and raised a brow at him making him turn a light shade of pink as he pulled you towards the table your purse and drinks where still sat. He sat down and began downing another glass of the blue liquid ignoring your gaze on the side of his face. 

“If you think I’m gonna pretend you didn’t deny his accusation you have another thing coming, Draco.” You stated with a raised brow. 

“It’s nothing. I had a small crush on you in school, that’s all.” He mumbled awkwardly as he avoided looking at you. 

“You’re lying.” You whispered with a glare on your face. 

“Let’s just go home.” He sighed as he grabbed you hand and purse before apparating back to the house. 

He put your purse on the side table in the living room, kicking off his shoes before walking off towards his room. However, you weren’t about to pretend he hadn’t just lied to your face. You stormed after him waving your wand to remove your heels as you did. 

“Don’t you ignore me Draco Lucius Malfoy! You don’t get to lie to my face and walk away! We’ve been friends for most of our life and best friends since 3rd year. I know when you’re lying.” You shouted as he stormed into his black and silver themed bedroom. 

“Just drop it, Y/N.” He sighed softly as he sat on the end of his bed. 

“No, I’m not dropping it. Why would you lie to me about having a crush on me?” You shouted as you began pacing in front of him. 

He looked away making no attempt to respond so you strut towards the bed and grabbed his face with you right hand harshly, forcing him to look at you. He looked into your eyes clearly shocked at how physical you were currently being. 

“Speak!” You growled through gritted teeth and you instantly noticed a dazed look crossed his face momentarily. 

“I had strong feelings for you between 3rd and 6th year.” He answered obediently, his eyes never leaving yours as his face flushed. You stomach fluttered seeing him being so compliant, your tongue darting out to lick your lips, an action that Draco’s eyes tracked. 

“Why wouldn’t you say something?” You sighed softly as your grip on his face softened but never moved. 

“Because you liked Ron. Then you guys started dating so I moved on, Love.” He whispered sadly making you frown. 

Your eyes flickered from his lips and back to his gorgeous eyes as your heart began pounding in your chest. You slid your hand into his hair brushing through the pale blonde locks. His eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into your touch making you clench your thighs as you felt yourself growing wet.  

You’re unsure how you’d never really looked at him. His pale flawless skin shone under the candlelight that was illuminating his bedroom your heart felt like it was finally beating again, like finally coming home.  

You grabbed his hand, sliding it under your green shirt dress, pressing it against your bare chest just over your heart making his eyes widen as he stared into your eyes as if you were both silently communicating. In that moment neither of you cared about anything else. Draco stood up abruptly, his hand sliding from your chest up your skin, cupping your jaw as he brought you in for a passionate kiss. 

His lips felt like everything you had been missing, all those years loving Ron suddenly felt like child's play as he poured everything in the kiss. You gasped against his mouth allowing him to slide his tongue into your mouth, he wasn’t rushing anything as his tongue caressed yours. Your heart was soaring as you gripped his leather jacket slowly pushing it off his shoulders, his lips never leaving yours.  

Once his jacket was laying on the floor, he began unbuttoning the green satin dress shirt from your body, his fingers brushing across your bare skin like he wanted to touch and memorise every part of your skin. It felt electric. His lips finally detached from yours as he looked into your eyes as if silently checking if you were sure.  

“This is going to change everything.” He whispered as he stared into your eyes with a look you'd never seen on him before, one that you couldn’t quite place.  

“I know.” You replied breathlessly as you grabbed his shirt and pulled him back into another slow, seductive kiss.  

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” He whispered against your lips as your dress fell to the floor. You quickly lifted the green t-shirt over his head throwing it somewhere in the room as he unbuttoned his jeans shedding them immediately. 

He looked up at you stood there in a black lace panties and bra, your rings and necklaces still on. He leaned over and unclipped all three chains before placing them on the bedside table. He lifted your right hand pressing a kiss to each fingertip as he slid off all your rings placing them next to your necklaces. He was treating you like you were the most precious being in the entire world and it had you wetter than you’d ever been in your life.  

He sat cross legged in the middle of the bed before tugging you into his lap. His hand cupped the back of your neck and brought you in for a soft kiss as his hand drifted down your spine until he reached your bra clip which he snapped open with one hand before his hand continued brushing down your spine at an agonisingly slow pace. You arched against his chest gasping at the sensual feeling as he slid the bra strap from your body and throwing away the black lace.  

“Dray.” You moaned breathlessly as he began pressing kisses to every inch of your neck and shoulders, your legs tightening around his waist as you grind against his clothed member.  

“I know, Love.” He whispered against your skin as he gripped your thighs and lifted you up from his lap and laid you on the bed gently.  

His hands finally began sliding down your chest cupping your breast gently, leaving down to suck on the left nipple softly before moving to the right one and giving it the same treatment. He knelt up as his hands began trailing down your stomach towards your panties. Your body arched slightly in anticipation as he finally began pulling your panties down your thighs instantly seeing the dark patch thy had soaked into your panties but instead of bragging like you thought he would, he let out a little groan as he closed his eyes as if trying to calm himself down.  

He quickly rid himself of his boxers before crawling back up, so he was staring into your eyes, your skin was flushed and slightly coated in a soft sheen of sweat as you cupped his face his frosty blue eyes boring into your Y/E/C ones. Sex was never like this for you before, then again, you'd only slept with Ron, but it felt like your heart was going to burst out your chest with how much you were feeling.  

“You're a goddess, Love.” Draco whispered huskily against your lips before pressing his lips to yours. His words causing you to let out a soft moan of desire.  

You ran your hand down his torso until you reached his hard member, wrapping your finger around his appendage tugging it gently making him groan against your lips as he clutched your hair tightly in between his fingers. He pulled away from the kiss and rested his forehead against yours before he began lowering himself down making your eyes widen realising what he was about to do. You let go of his member before grabbed his shoulder stopping him which seemed to have him frowning as if confused. 

“Y-You don’t have to I’m already wet e-enough.” You stuttered shyly making his frown deepen.  

“Are you saying he only did this to get you wet enough to fuck you?” Draco asked with annoyance in his tone. 

“I-I...Is that not normal?” You whispered in embarrassment.  

“Everyone's different I guess, but I wanna taste you baby, can I?” He whispered as a kissed a slow kiss on the inside of your thigh.  

You flushed a little at his words but nodded your head, wanting to explore this with him. He grinned gently as he wrapped his arms around your thighs pulling your heat closer to his face. He licked from your hole to your clit before he began tracing a figure of 8 on your clit making you gasp in shock as you instantly gripped his hair.  

He smirked against your heat as he continued the gentle movements of his tongue making you arch off the bed. It felt so good you couldn’t help thrusting against his face, something your ex had always told you off for however Draco groaned as he encouraged you to thrust against his tongue. You stared down catching his eyes as you grind against his flattened tongue feeling yourself getting close.  

“I’m gonna cum i-if you keep going.” You moaned as you tried to pull him up but he refused to move.  

“Then cum. Baby, the joy of being a woman is that you can cum...so many times.” He groaned as he began eating you out again practically burying his face in your heat. 

“A-Ahh, Draco.” You cried out as you felt your orgasm explode inside your stomach making your eyes roll back as your thigh shook around his head as he slowed his tongues movements before finally backing away wiping his soaked face.  

You gripped the back of his neck pulling him down for a heated kiss still shaking from your orgasm. He groaned into the kiss as his member brushed through your sensitive heat making you twitch a little. He bit your lower lip as he pushed his shaft into your wet heat, slowly allowing you to adjust to his size which was at least an inch or so bigger and wider than Ron.  

“Mmm, you’re so big Dray.” You whimpered against his lips making him moan huskily into the kiss.  

“Fuck.” He growled, burying his head in your neck as he began thrusting in and out of you slowly.  

You bucked up to meet his thrust as you pulled his head up from your neck to rest your foreheads together as you stared into his eyes getting lost in the feeling of him. This didn’t feel like sex...this felt like making love. You cupped his cheek lovingly as he made love to you, gasps and moans filling the room as he began speeding up.  

“Not gonna last long love.” Draco groaned as he began thrusting into you deeper, hitting your g-spot with every thrust.  

“Me too, Dray.” You moaned blissfully as you clung to him.  

He brought his hand between your body's, circling your sopping wet clit as he continued to pick up his pace but never too much. You whimpered against his lips bringing him in for a filthy, slow kiss. Your tongue wrapping around his. Your orgasm was fast approaching as you pulled his hand away and began grind against him making your clit hit his pubic bone your hand interlocking his tightly.  

“Ahhh, gon’ cum, Draco.” You screamed in pure ecstasy as you felt your wet heat clamp around him. 

“Cum with me, Love.” He groaned as his pace picked up making you both fall over the edge at the same time, his cum covering your walls and you clenched around him letting out a loud breathless drawn-out moan.   

He slowed down until he finally collapsed on top of you which you didn’t mind as you wrapped your arms around him pulling his head against your bare chest. Both of you panting as you enjoyed the aftermath in silence. He sighed happily against your breast before finally sitting up and looking down at you.  

“I want to be more than friends.” He whispered fearfully as if after giving you the most intense, pleasure filled, sex of your life you’d say no.  

“I’d really like that.” You giggled making his eyes widen before he broke out into a grin his eyes shining with pure excitement. 

******* 

You heard a pop in the living room making your eyes light up as you grinned from ear to ear. You put down the wooden spoon you were holding before wiping your hands on your cute little black frilly apron.  

“You’re home ear-Oh Mr And Mrs Malfoy!” You smiled awkwardly as they took in your appearance grinning at one another. 

“Aahhh the lack of letters makes sense now.” Narcissa snickered as Lucius rolled his lips to stop from smiling. 

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea he hadn’t written to you.” You muttered shyly making her shake her head. 

“I’m just making dinner now if you’d like to stay. I always make too much.” You chuckled as you led them toward the kitchen where you were still cooking. 

Lucius reached for a piece of bread and without thinking you slapped his hand then everyone’s eyes widen. Why the hell did you do that! He looked to his wife who was trying to contain her laughter as she patted her husband’s cheek affectionately. 

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! I’m used to Draco doing it.” You ducked your head awkwardly as you internally slapped your face over and over again. 

“It’s quite alright, Dear.” Lucius chuckled just as you all heard another pop in the living room. 

“Baby girl, Daddy’s home!” Draco yelled jokingly making your face turn bright red as Lucius burst out laughing making your eyes widen. 

“Draco! For God sake your parents are here! Couldn’t you enter the house like you normally do and say ‘honey I’m home’. Why on earth did you decided today, of all days, you were gonna be a cringy bastard!” You shouted as he ran into the kitchen with a raised brow. 

“Oops.” He snickered making you roll your eyes. 

“Bloody idiot.” You grumbled as you walked over and gave him a soft peck making him grin happily as he pulled you into a hug. 

“Missed you.” He whispered in your ear making you smile shyly. 

“Missed you too.” You replied sweetly as you walked away to pour him a drink of fire whiskey. 

“Would you like one, Mr Malfoy?” You asked softly making him smile. 

“Call me Lucius, and yes thank you, Dear, that would be lovely.” Lucius chuckled as he nudged his wife. 

You passed both Draco and Lucius and whiskey before pouring a glass of red wine for you and Narcissa who happily accepted. You stored the pot of creamy pasta sauce as you took a sip of your wine. 

“So, should I expect wedding bells and grandkids soon?” Narcissa asked causing you to choke on your wine as Draco smacked his head off the table. 

“Mum!” Draco shouted making his mother snicker. 

“Maybe in the future. Not anytime soon.” Draco huffed as he patted your back. 

You stared at Draco wide eyed making him flush a little as he avoided looking at you. You began smiling so wide it hurt your cheeks leaning over and kissing his pink coloured cheek. It felt good to finally having someone put you above everything. Someone who actually wanted to plan a future with you. And he was right under your nose this entire time.  

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