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#everlasting sunlight
lovenikkiclothes · 2 years
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Based around the dress ‘Lunar Palace’.
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marsprincess889 · 14 days
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Basic themes of nakshatras
May edit this later, this is as far as I understand and have observed them, and I think it's pretty nice to see them simply.
Ashwini:
Newness, freshness, the unmanifest, speed, energy, vitality, instinct, healing, fast healing, unlimited energy, self-expression, selfishness, blocking outside noise, trusting yourself, self-empowerment, unfiltered actions.
Things that remind me of Ashwini: bees, the sun, horses, two white horses, golden deserts, horses gallopping, honey, long hair flying in the wind, apples.
Bharani:
Love, death, sex, the female, the feminine, limitations, the material, fate, destiny, coming into the body, struggling against limitations, struggling against fate, mind trapped in its own hell because of the inevitable, dealing with the harshness of life, harshness of mothers and mother nature, the hierarchy, privileges and deprivations, desire, going after your true desire, the immortality of the soul, adapting to changes, passion, tragic love, bravery, facing the truth, choicelessness, nessecity, revenge, violence, gatekeeping, reduction, denial of access, conquering your fate, everlasting beauty.
Things that remind me of Bharani: hot pink and black, darkness, roses, the yoni, gateways, keyholes, caverns, boats, rivers, the damsel in distress, fantasy, high fantasy.
Krittika:
Adam, the main character, naming things, language, rationality, precision, sharpness, criticism, the poet, the "it" person, simplicity, cleanliness, expressing oneself, selectivity, the heat, the knowledge, the light, masculine ideals, stoicism, selectivity.
Things that remind me of Krittika: knives, razors, lighers, sparks, fire, hearth, cooking.
Rohini:
Eve, sugar babies, growth, receptivity, enjoyment, pleasure, unrefined, doted on, subconcious, absorbtion, sharing, union, creation, the youngest daughter, naivete, feeling no shame.
Things that remind me of Rohini: sugar, stickiness, sweetness, heaviness, red, pink, flowers, the A.I(lol).
Mrigashira:
Distraction, realization, fickleness, adventure, running away, chasing, the hunt, excitement, softness, pleasure, altering conciousness, magic substances(iykwim), curiosity, fulfillment, insatiability, teasing.
Things that remind me of Mrigashira: silver threads, deer, green forests, green and blue, running in the woods, alcohol, the moon.
Ardra:
Disillusion, crying, lamenting, awareness of others, awarness of other's expectations, hyper-awarness of everything, intellect, the rational mind, pressures from society, rebelling against society, anxiety.
Things that remind me of Ardra: tears, water, storms, technology, teenage angst, emo culture, the rain, sad songs, dogs.
Punarvasu:
Mercy, forgiveness, permission, freedom, flying, expansion, gentleness, regrowing, realigning, returning, home, unconditional love and nurture, celebration, peace, peacefulness, centering oneself, sunlight, warmth, fostering, taking care, being taken care of, luck, unlimited fertile space, shelter, genuine kindness, believing in humanity again, cycles, patterns, seeing the cycles and the patterns, predicting future, openness, second (and third, fouth...) chances, a comeback.
Things that remind me of Punarvasu: staying at home, pets, plants, cats, gentle rain, a bow and arrows, a target.
Pushya:
Asceticism, routines, self-restraint, servitude, control, self-control, working, working on yourself, patience, simplicity, striving for perfection, nurturing, nourishment, quiet ambition.
Things that remind me of Pushya: milk, milkmaids, country life, milking, symmetry, goats, sheep.
Ashlesha:
Manipulation, abuse, poison, emotional abuse, blackmail, resorting to everything for safety, protection, pent up energy, the nervous system, purity, water, sensitivity, cleanliness, energetic build-up, tension, restraint, preservation, self-preservation, virginity, feminine tactics, being "mean" for protection, lying for safety, sensuality, mother issues, agitation.
Things that remind me of Ashlesha: the color white, transparent things, cats, poisoning, snow white, Sofia Coppola films, teenage girlhood, ties, strings, knots, snakes.
Magha:
Royalty, power, ancestry, family trees, history, the past, regality, honoring the past, honoring the elders, honoring the authority, religion, traditions, customs, confidence, ego.
Things that remind me of Magha: crowns, thrones, churches, goth culture, the smoke.
Purva Phalguni:
Pleasure, enjoyment, being spoiled as the feminine, loving to spoil as the masculine, procreation, sex, leisure, art, holidays, parties, exclusivity, pride, charisma, sexual dispersion, love as a method of self-expression, admiration, directness, active pursuit of your passions.
Things that remind me of Purva Phalguni: fruits, eating fruits topless, rose gold color, the "rizz"(lol), the phallus, dramaticism.
Uttara Phalguni:
Favors from friends, family and partners, contracts, beneficial agreements, the perfect wife, likeability, popularity, friendliness, appearing cool, stoicism, beneficial arrangements, gaining power through partnerships, self-expression through relationships.
Things that remind me of Uttara Phalguni: the "chads", simplicity, genuine friends, loyal companions, the perfect male stereotype.
Hasta:
The earth, the veiled feminine, manipulation, denial of access, materialism, cheating, everyday matters, empowerment of women, deception, skill, seeking knowledge, wanting to be in control, activism, street-smarts, manipulation of masses.
Things that remind me of Hasta: the hand, Goddess Persephone, skilled hands, thieves, easy money, fairies, witches.
Chitra:
Crafting, building, perspective, truth, law, gems, sacrifice for your craft, vanity, stereotypes, aesthetics, the truth in stereotypes, building based on the law and the truth, the surface of things, the appearance of things, the substance reflected in the vessel, gossip, cliques.
Things that remind me of Chitra: the god Hephestos, martian gods in general, jewelry, fashion, make-up, drama, pettiness, the coquette aesthetic, pranksters, Olivia Rodrigo(ig).
Swati:
Space, the cosmos, shifting realities, love, rebellion, alternate realities, possibilities, seeing beauty in everything, inspiration, art, the cosmic egg, creation of the world, creation of worlds, microcosm and macrocosm, freedom through love.
Things that remind me of Swati: video games, the wind, plants beggining to sprout, the sword, technology.
Vishakha:
The lightning, snapping, splitting, joining opposites, compromise, marriage, repressed anger, repressed aggression, alter egos, passion, enthusiasm, standing up for yourself and others, repression and then expression, energy, love and hate.
Things that remind me of Vishakha: lighning bolts, Zeus, Thor and other lighning gods, superhero "Shazam", celebrations.
Anuradha:
Friendship, devotion, depth, loyalty, unconditional loyalty, bonds, the occult, sex with love, numbers, gatherings, friend groups, groups, gentleness, humbleness, discipline, seriousness, organizing society, social groups.
Things that remind me of Anuradha: the color burgundy, dim lights, bunnies, "Sex Education" (tv show), sci-fi (for some reason), "The Vampire Diaries" (and very similar teen shows), frat boys, cheerleaders.
Jyeshta:
The battlefield, war, hunger, thirst, insatiability, conquering, the underdog, street-smarts, competition, strategy, extreme independence, mind games, the art of war, survival, ruling, rising above, self-reliance, wisdom, becoming the authority, the eldest, dryness, trust issues, enemies, destroying enemies, outsmarting all enemies.
Things that remind me of Jyeshta: grandmothers, owls, eagles, dry places, flags, marching, chess.
Mula:
Horror, the abnormal, the truth, the core, the center, the absorbing darkness, the black hole, the roots, violence against falsehoods, seeking the truth, seeking the cause, seeking roots, uprooting, chaos, from chaos to order, the unchanging truth, taming beasts, holding to your truth.
Things that remind me of Mula: "Phanton of the Opera", "Twilight", final girls, horror movies, dark murky green, the wilderness.
Purva Ashadha:
Art, beauty, alliances, artistry, ideals, fighting for the ideal, discrimination, exclusivity, philosophies about beauty and art, passion for love and art, attachments, secrecy, luxury, vitality, vigor, going for victory.
Things that remind me of Purva Ashadha: the sea, seafoam, goddess Aphrodite, seashells, mermaids, sirens, fans (the ones you hold in your hand lol), Arwen from LotR.
Uttara Ashadha:
Victory, loneliness, individuality, government, empowerment, independence, being looked up to, composed self-expression, ease, simplicity but regality, confidence, self-assuredness, melancholy and hardships of aloneness but contentment, stoicism, invincibility, unapologetic behavior.
Things that remind me of Uttara Ashadha: earnest people, goddess Nike.
Shravana:
Connecting everything, secret knowledge, interest in everything, reading between the lines, subconcious access, extreme sensitivity, holding the humanity together, secret agencies, percieving what others can't percieve, saving humanity, navigating, receptivity, mysticism.
Things that remind me of Shravana: Superman, Geralt of Rivia, Aragorn, King arthur, pathways, footprints, ear, color blue, spies, astrology, outcasts, fringe societies.
Dhanishta:
Celebration, celebrities, fame, visibility, aggression, agitation, action, bringing people together, idols, propaganda, wealth from fame, that which attracts attention, public image, benefits and downsides of fame, openness and flashiness, branding.
Things that remind me of Dhanishta: supermodels, Princess Diana, dancing, rhythmic drums.
Shatabhisha:
Complexities, seeing everything, lurking in shadows, holding the knowledge, secrets, secrecy, hiding, technology, innovation, being ahead of your time, advising but manipulating, society, the collective, trends, the conciousness of masses.
Things that remind me of Shatabhisha: midnight sky, stars, the seas, water reservoirs, the circle, the all-seeing eye of Sauron(lol), Lord of the Rings, rings, the movie "Stardust" (the book too).
Purva Bhadrapada:
Notoriety, expansion, uncontrolled expansion, persmissiveness, growth to ruin unless restrained, fighting for your soul, the scapegoat, going against society, getting tested, the point of no return.
Things that remind me of Purva Bhadrapada: gangs, famous criminals, laziness, femme fatales, the grotesque, deserts, werewolves, the black sheep.
Uttara Bhadrapada:
Finding grace, hardships, working, inner strength, steeliness, resilience, patience, restraint, contol, self-restraint and self-control, bravery, honesty, stubbornness, fighting for your truth, perfect control, freedom through limitations, seeking a permanent foundation built on truth, working for the foundation, long-term goals, innocence, purity of soul, stillness, refinement.
Things that remind me of Uttara Bhadrapada: butterflies, clouds, baby blue color, Cinderella, warriors, knights, ice, coldness, queens, ice-queen, dragons, water dragons, deep waters.
Revati:
Ultimate freedom, creativity, wisdom, gentleness, compassion, guiding, herding, fun, laughter, mischief, lightnness, ease, finding peace, reaching the end, enjoying what you have, contentment, nurturing, open-mindedness, conclusions, gratefulness, freedom and free will, having choices, diversity, finding the truth, true wealth.
Things that remind me of Revati: shepherds, everything easy and light, the tricksters, the fool, jokes, Loki, The Joker, fish, comedy, the movie "A Fish Called Wanda", caring for everyone and everything.
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iicarused · 2 months
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demons do not deserve human love
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eyeless jack x reader
drabble // implied death, angst, mentions of blood : he bit you
a/n: i wrote this a few years ago hf this was about to be alastor but i was about to plagiarize my own one shot LMFOAOAOA bringing this piece back !!
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YOU COULD FEEL HIS NAILS WHEN HE CRADLED YOUR HEAD, his touch making you flinch as he pulled you into an embrace. He felt cold, but that was not a new feeling to begin with. Every time you held the eyeless man, when your fingers would brush against his grey skin, he was cold. That was no surprise for he was a demon, a man who was no longer alive but had the faintest beating heart.
So he had to steal yours.
You remember the day you met him—or so you thought—almost brainwashed to believe you met him in a park. When in reality, you have met him longer ago. You would not know that, because Jack has always kept it that way. You met him when his name was Miles, then again when he was Ezekiel, and the list would go on and on. Yet for some odd reason, you never seen it.
The way he disguised himself to fool you; maybe he’s the fool for believing a monster like him could love you the way other humans love. Alas, the vast difference between a monster and a human is an everlasting contrast that one can see immediately.
Their hearts do not beat the same way as yours.
It’s a brief moment while you recall memories with him; and only him. It’s almost refreshing to smell an Earthy scent, your mind wandering to the past of rainy days and forest walks. Your hand holding his with little sunlight cascading through the trees. It came in pools of honey that kissed your cheeks, welcoming you with warmth for a second longer.
“Deers are my favourite animal, you know.” An effort to strike a conversation, you would only hear a hum from the eyeless man.
But then, he cleared his throat. “I know.” Muffled behind the mask, almost inaudible from his quiet tone, he squeezed your hand. “That’s why I brought you out today.”
You spared him a glance, a brow raised in question. Jack would only answer by a vague motion to look forward.
So that’s what you did; and there it was, a deer.
Maybe that’s how you earned your nickname, fawn, from Jack. Yet, he would never tell you, he preferred deers after human meat when it came to his hunger.
Reality struck when you heard him whisper.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He cried between whispered breaths, choking on his own words.
You gazed up at him. You felt the black ooze that leaked from his sockets fall to your cheek, the thickness it once had now replaced with liquid tears. He looked pathetic.
You stared at his stained lips that was smudged with your blood; only then you would piece together that he was the reason for why your heart would beat and the reason it stops.
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ddarker-dreams · 9 months
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A Chance Encounter.
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Yan Scaramouche x Reader.
Loosely based on this concept.
Warnings: Only light yandere themes since Reader doesn't know about Scara's Harbinger affiliation. Word count: 1.1k.
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Scaramouche could succinctly describe this assignment as a pain.
Some whistleblower whose conscience got the better of her in retirement, realizing now that she’s living off a measly pension instead of a steady stream of income that perhaps experimentation on unwitting subjects is actually not so dandy. How convenient. Moral epiphanies have the best timing. Or in the Harbinger’s case, the worst timing, since this trip to Mondstadt was supposed to be for pleasure, not business. 
He occupies a space beneath a sizable canopy. Shadows swallow him, occasionally chased off by shy sunlight wriggling through interstices born from the steady wind. The weather is fair compared to the everlasting winter that wrings all life from Snezhnaya. This nation is perfectly idyllic, perfectly boring, save for a single inhabitant who is notably exempt from his criticism. 
If it weren’t for the invisible yet no less present Fatui agents slinking about, he’d give in to the urge to quirk his lips upward. 
At least when this is wrapped up, he can see you. 
The matter shouldn’t take much longer. In written correspondence with the would-be traitor, he played the role of a bleeding heart, successfully blindsiding her into thinking he shares her plight. Now all that remains is to meet up with her and discern if the supposedly damning documents hold any weight or not. The rest can be left to his lackeys, he’d rather not waste any more time when he could be engaging in far more enjoyable activities. 
This is about as cut and dry as it gets. 
Except… 
Rapid footsteps approach. 
Foliage crunches beneath the heel of an exuberant individual, smothering leaves and snapping twigs. 
“Kuuuuuniiiiiii!” A voice he knows very well calls out. 
There is but a single entity throughout all of Teyvat who actively runs toward him, not away from him, and this entity so happens to be you. The concept of shame is a foreign one, you’re far too concerned with utilizing various flourishes to capture his attention. The fanfare is without reason. The instant you enter the scene, Scaramouche scarcely remembers the rest of the world exists, it becomes as inconsequential as the ground he treads on. 
You are a fallen star streaming through the sky, an answer to a wish he never had the courage to make. 
Unfortunately, you’ve happened upon him at a tricky juncture. The Fatui swarming like sharks in the water are prepared to tear into you at his command. From their perspective, you are an unknown variable running full force at their Lord Harbinger. Never in their wildest dreams could they fathom the notoriously spiteful Balladeer has a sweet spot for you, this is by his design. He’s painstakingly taken measures to ensure his little ball of sunshine can’t be used by his many enemies. 
The wave he gives serves two purposes — to greet you and signal his men to stand down. 
As if he wasn’t already thrown off-kilter by your abrupt appearance, when you’re at the appropriate distance, you launch at him with arms held wide. He catches you with an ease unfitting of his slender demeanor, his strength far surpassing that of any mortal. You’re content to wrap your arms around his neck while he steadies you. 
“I knew it was you! The hat gave it away. It always does,” you explain in between breaths. “And here I was thinking that you wouldn’t be in for a few more days.” 
Slowly, he helps ease you back down. You sway a bit, clutching his shoulders to maintain your balance, to which he snickers. “Were you so desperate to see me that running at a reasonable pace slipped your mind?” 
“I thought if I exerted more force, I might be able to tackle you to the ground this time… so much for that.” 
“Hah. As if. What strange fantasies you entertain without me around. The loneliness must rot your brain.” 
“Who says I’m lonely?” You challenge, tilting your head to the side. “I’m more than capable of making and maintaining friendships. That’s what happens when you’re a likable person.” 
He’s quick to reply so as not to betray his irritation at the idea. “You? Likable? The mental deterioration is worse than I feared. I hope it isn’t irreversible at this stage.” 
You shrug. “I dunno, you seem to like me well enough. I consider that my crowning achievement. If I can win you over I’m capable of anything. Maybe I’ll aim for world peace next.” 
Scaramouche is so quick to be swept up in the wild tide that is you that his bumbling underlings temporarily slipped his mind. Lately, there’s been one in particular who seems keen on proving himself worthy of a promotion. He goes out of his way to do extra work Scaramouche never tasked him with. It’s been a minor nuisance yet nothing major has come from it. 
However, in his purview, he senses this sycophant taking a position that’d be advantageous to strike at you from. 
Scaramouche’s retaliation is immediate. On a perfectly sunny day, a vicious bolt of lightning strikes mere inches from the spot he occupies, effectively communicating his lord’s displeasure. The white-hot flash earns your attention. You turn your head in the direction it came from, then shoot him an inquisitive glance. 
“... What did that bush ever do wrong?” 
“You’d be surprised.” 
The warning must’ve made it through the agent’s thick head, for he backs off like a dog with its tail between its legs. 
“Hey. I have some business I need to finish, then I’ll treat you to dinner,” Scaramouche knows you well enough to be confident that the idea of delicious food will successfully distract you. It’s as he predicted — he can practically hear the gears turning in your head as you form plans. He can only hope he doesn’t have to encounter that slovenly excuse of a god who once serenaded you with the story of an abandoned doll, claiming it to be a ‘cautionary tale’. The self-restraint he exercised that day is second to none. 
“Alright, but try to leave some nature standing, this is a trail I enjoy walking. I’d rather you don’t eviscerate it.” 
You begin to part ways, before loudly proclaiming ‘oh!’, like you’d forgotten something important. Then you’re back by his side. He processes the feeling before anything else, the soft sensation of your lips on his cheek renders him speechless. A crimson hue dusts against his pale cheeks as he subconsciously raises his hand to touch the still-tingling spot. Content with yourself, you depart, waving as enthusiastically as you had earlier. 
When his coherency returns, he sighs. That was a bit more than he’d prefer any Fatui-aligned person to see.
He’ll have to get creative to explain the deaths of all his men on such a low-stakes mission. Before that, however, he needs to ask one to hand the appropriate forms over, lest it disintegrate to ash as they’re fated to. 
It’s a pain, truly, but you’re worth the extra effort. 
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pinkdaisies9285 · 3 months
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Flyboy and the Florist-1
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Bob Floyd x F!Reader
Warnings: None, Fluff
Word Count: 466
Author's Note: This is my first time writing for Bob and I hope I did him justice. Also, I tried to keep reader pretty neutral in features but she does have glasses and ear piercings!
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It was an accident. One moment Bob was trying to find the perfect bouquet for Penny from Maverick because he trusted the quiet man. The next he’s surrounded by flowers on the ground and the prettiest eyes are staring at him with concern. Bob didn’t think that someone so beautiful would be the owner of the little florist shop he found on Google. It had the highest reviews and that was good enough for him. He was not expecting to be enamored with her when he first walked in. Hence why he missed the bucket with freshly cut peonies to the right of him. Which resulted in him slipping on the wet floor and landing flat on his ass.
“Are you okay?” she asked. Tilting her head which resulted in a soft jingle from the earrings she was wearing. The stars and moon twinkling in the sunlight added an almost ethereal appearance to her but maybe it was just in his head. 
“Y-yeah. Sorry about knocking that over. I can pay for them if they’re ruined now?” he said while standing up quickly. He felt like a total idiot knocking over your perfect flowers and his momma raised him to be a gentleman. So his immediate thought was to somehow fix the silly little mistake he made. 
“You’re totally fine,” she said with a chuckle while pushing up her glasses. “ They’re just flowers and besides I can repurpose them into one of my bath salts. An easy fix.” 
All Bob could focus on was her pretty smile and how much her glasses fit her face perfectly. With his head in the clouds, he missed the question she just asked him.
“I’m sorry what was that again?” he felt completely flustered.
“I asked what type of bouquet are you looking for? Is it for a partner or a friend?” she asked with a curious look on her face.
“Oh! It's not for me. My superior wanted some help picking out something for his partner.” Bob immediately replied with a flush on his cheeks. 
“Well, he must trust your insight a lot to give such an important task to you.” She turned around and picked up a bouquet that had morning glory, baby’s breath, and roses. “Here this bouquet will be perfect. Baby’s breath means everlasting love, Morning glory means affection, and pink and white roses together mean “I love you still and I always will.” 
Bob stood there even more enamored than before, the way she rattled off the meaning of each flower with such excitement made him want to know more. About her or the language of flowers, he wasn’t sure but he knew that this wasn’t the last time he would be crossing paths with this enigma of a woman. He’ll make sure of it. 
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0mysteiarchives · 15 days
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So do the request, can I please have yandere Robin x trailblazer reader headcanon?
Gotcha 🫡
5 am grind..call me the Robin x reader breadwinner /j
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“An Idol’s Blazing Star.” Yandere!Robin x Trailblazer!Reader
“From her cage, she reached for the blazing star, yearning for it’s everlasting warmth.”
a/n: apologies if its rushed ^^
cw: yandere themes!
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• Yandere!Robin who returns to Penacony due to an invite to perform at the Charmony Festival.
• Yandere!Robin who takes her time and reconnects with her brother, Sunday. It was a bit silent, yet they were both enjoying each other’s familial company once more.
• Yandere!Robin who’s moments are interrupted by a member of the Family, reporting about a large issue back in the hotel lobby.
• Yandere!Robin who tags along wjth her brother out of curiosity to attend to the aformentioned disruptive commotion.
• Yandere!Robin who can’t take her eyes off you once she sees you within the crew. You were so mesmerizing, it seemed she was staring for a while as you glanced her way and offered a small smile and wave.
• Yandere!Robin who can’t help but find this adorable! Her wings lightly flutter before recomposing herself and formally introducing herself to everyone, eyes never leaving yours, perhaps she’s already lost in them..
• Yandere!Robin who watches you talk to everyone in the lobby, waiting for her turn as she cups her cheeks meanwhile, and feel the tingling sensation you make her feel .
• Yandere!Robin who interacts and compliments you more often, calling you ‘pretty’ and giving you a wink as you become embarrassed and thank her for that. Pretty isn’t enough to describe you..you’re gorgeous—
• Yandere!Robin who’s mood drops as Himeko calls everyone back to discuss and head to their rooms, she waves goodbye as you do the same. Without your attention on her, her heart felt…strange?
• Yandere!Robin who pleads her brother to be the one to greet you when you enter, gently catching you and finally getting the privilege of feeling your skin..not in a weird way!!—
• Yandere!Robin who would willingly neglect her schedule to show you around Penacony, politely rejecting paparazzi though, as much as she wanted to yell, it might leave a bad impression of her on you.. and showering you with freebies such as highly rated meals and gifts.
• Yandere!Robin who takes you to scenic places, where the sky is within both of your reach. Lastly a rooftop where you two would stare off into the distance.
• Yandere!Robin who’s heart beats fast and wings flutter whenever you give her that smile, the sunlight bouncing off your radiant skin. Aeons, you’re just perfect.
• Yandere!Robin who contemplates whether to use her powers to manipulate you attempts to convince you to spend more time with her, why won’t you stay right here by her side?
• Yandere!Robin who tries to keep you, grabbing your wrist as you try to gently pull away, yet her grip was somewhat tight. It made you feel uneasy.
• Yandere!Robin who realizes your uncomfortable expression, letting you go as you walk away and leave her alone with an aching heart 💔
“Alas, she could only wait for the blazing star to return and shine once again.”
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A Gift That Keeps on Giving
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characters: Astarion x race/spellcaster fem!Tav/reader word count: +1.6k Rating: T read on ao3 FF Masterlist This hasn't been beta-read.
Astarion is an absolute menace when it comes to celebrations, especially Winter Solstice. Merry Christmas! ♡
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Astarion had been driving you to the brink of insanity, which wasn’t anything new to you; over time, you’d gotten used to his antics. 
The weeks leading up to the Winter Solstice, however, had been something entirely different. 
The pale elf had become unbearable, positively so. 
One would think the Winter Solstice celebration was, in its essence, a simple affair. You decorated your house with evergreen and holly, maybe even some ivy, if you felt like it. Lit some candles to expel the long night. Danced around. Exchanged presents with your loved ones. It was all rather straightforward, really.
But not with Astarion, no; things were seldom simple with him, so you shouldn’t have been that surprised. 
He’d been planning for the celebration for weeks on end and—being a gods-awful planner—had turned that nice, simple affair into a proper ordeal.
Nothing had met his unprecedented standards.
The evergreens hadn’t been festive enough, so he’d crafted straw stars as additional decorations—only to deem them hideous after you’d helped make three dozen of them.  
Candles had been needed, a whole lot—nay! a sea—of them. Astarion had wanted the entire house to be filled with soft candlelight, only to get annoyed when he’d finally realised how much of a hassle it would be to actually light two thousand candles at roughly the same time.
Astarion thought you were a terrible dancer and teaching you some proper dance steps had already ended in tears once—neither of you wanted to speak of it ever again since you had more or less promised each other everlasting love and respect and little to no bloodshed. Dancing, let alone another dancing lesson, was off the table—indefinitely.
The only thing you’d been rather optimistic about was the celebration’s gift-giving aspect. Astarion had a very keen eye for things you might enjoy; pretty little trinkets, an excellent bottle of wine, a lovely new dress. 
The only issue Astarion had with gift-giving, however, was the gift-getting. 
He’d grossly misjudged the amount of time left until the Winter Solstice, only to find—with less than a week to go—that no potential gift had been good enough to present to you. 
Astarion had let you know in great detail that every trinket he’d come across had been tacky, and that every wine he’d sampled had tasted like piss. He was also strongly convinced that every seamstress in town was blind in both eyes. 
It had been a perfect predicament and with the days being reduced to only a couple of hours of scant sunlight, Astarion had been out and about most of the time—which, in all honesty, was the best gift he could have possibly given to you until the celebration was over.
And then the longed-for day had finally come. 
In true midwinter fashion, the weak sun rays barely penetrated the grey cover of clouds, and so you and Astarion found yourself tramping through knee-high snow in the early afternoon. 
You pressed your lips into a thin line as Astarion cursed again, kicking against a wayward pile of snow blocking his way. The snow scattered prettily before settling on Astarion’s already-drenched hood. He hissed but refrained from using any more profanities—for the time being, at least.
You wouldn’t be exaggerating when you said the general mood was a little sour on this most festive of days. 
For all your Winter Solstice planning, the fact that you two were travellers with no permanent residence to hold an actual celebration in, had somehow eluded you both. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, really. Sometimes, one could miss some crucial details here and there. Things like that happened all the time. No big deal at all. It was fine! 
You gave Astarion the side eye as you adjusted the straps of your pack which was stuffed with an ungodly amount of candles and greenery.
By the time you eventually reached an inn, you were cold and miserable. The inn’s soft candlelight dancing behind stained glass windows had guided you through the gathering darkness and you let out a deep sigh of relief when the warmth of its entry hall caressed your frozen skin. 
The inn was packed to the brim, the elderly proprietress informed you the moment you walked up to the reception desk—off you go again; there was no need wasting her time.
You took a deep breath before glancing over your shoulder to where Astarion was waiting outside, shivering and unable to cross the inn’s threshold. In your time together with him, you had learned that a dagger usually worked wonders, and it did not disappoint now, either.  
The elderly lady stared at the shiny blade you’d rammed into the polished wood of her desk and recalled that the attic was quite available to lodge in after all. 
You’d thought so, too, and gave her a courteous nod before taking the key from her.
“It’s cold outside. Would you be so kind and invite my partner in, too?” 
The proprietress assured you that it was no problem at all and invited Astarion in oh so enthusiastically.
“All settled,” you said as you held the door open for Astarion a moment later. They were the first words you’d spoken to him in hours but you fell back into thick silence when you stalked up the stairs to your rooms after him. 
The attic was a cold, damp and dark place. You’d made do in worse accommodations, though—and the hot bath the proprietress had promised you would make up for it.
To your surprise, Astarion bid you to warm up first. 
Although you all but wanted to fall asleep in the blissfully steaming hot water, you washed up quickly. You wouldn’t risk pushing your luck asking for another bath to be drawn but you didn’t want Astarion to soak in cold water, either. 
Red-faced and squeaky clean you hurried from the washroom back to the attic. You’d barely made it through the door that Astarion squeezed past you down the attic stairs, leaving you standing alone in the gloomy room. 
You knew he was only sulking because nothing had gone as he’d planned once again, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t bothered by the tension between you. 
It was the night of the Winter Solstice, after all. 
Sighing, you sat down on the old bed, suddenly wishing for a decadently decorated, candle-lit parlour and maybe even some music to dance to. Almost anything would be nicer than this draughty attic room and a frustrated vampire spawn. 
Grimacing, you were just about to comb your fingers through your wet hair when your sight fell on a little box resting next to you on the bed. You hadn’t noticed it before but a soft smile was already tugging at your lips when you picked it up. 
The box held a dainty pendant necklace with the palest ruby you’d ever seen. It was a subtle little thing—not at all Astarion’s style—but absolutely stunning in your eyes. 
You wasted no time putting the necklace on before you rummaged through your pack, looking for some candles. There were enough to light up the damn house, but one or two dozen would do nicely for your purposes. 
Over the past few weeks, you’d come up with a spell that lit every candle within a room with nothing but the snap of your finger, so it took no time at all to bathe the attic in soft candlelight. 
The evergreens you’d carried around looked a little worse for wear but you covered the narrow windowsill with them anyway before hanging some holly to the shabby bed posts as an afterthought. 
The room had turned cosy enough by the time you could hear footsteps behind the door. 
Not knowing how you’d received his gift, Astarion entered the room sheepishly enough. He raised an eyebrow at the sight in front of him, but his initial surprise was swiftly masked by a crooked smile. 
“You’ve been busy,” he observed, looking around before his gaze settled on you. 
He eyed the beautifully embroidered silk robe you’d gotten him as a present for the Winter Solstice. It was a little long for you, but that didn’t really matter—you’d only donned the robe for the purpose of presentation. 
“Do you like it?” You asked, stepping closer to him. 
Astarion reached for your hand, drawing his thumb over the back of it as he took a better look at the embroidery across your chest—although his eyes stuck to the collarbone that you’d left generously exposed.  
“You know, darling” he mused, cocking his head as he cupped your cheek, “Your taste might be a little questionable at times, but…” 
Chuckling, you pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand. Leave it to Astarion to insult you to your face and have you thank him for it. 
Maybe he did have a point, though; the colour of the robe did clash a little with his crimson eyes…
“But?” You sighed as his hand wandered from your cheek down your throat, brushing against your new necklace before it vanished into your deep, silken cleavage
“But…” Astarion started again, visibly pleased by your reaction to his touch; his gift around your neck.
You didn’t break eye contact when he tugged at the belt of your robe, nor when he circled your waist with his lean arm, pulling you flush against him.
“You do have an exceptional eye for presentation, my love.”
You tilted your head back to welcome his lips on yours.
Astarion’s kiss was deep and sweet at once—intoxicating you like no wine in all the realms ever could. 
The silk robe slid down your shoulders with only a little help from Astarion’s nimble fingers; the luxurious fabric pooled around your feet like water. 
You cupped the back of Astarion’s neck with your hand, deepening the kiss as he slowly guided you backwards until your legs brushed against the bed frame.
It would be a wondrously long night and it seemed like you would even get to dance together, after all.
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josephquinnswhore · 1 year
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Saviour
Pairing: Javier Peña x female reader.
Summary: Escobar's men kidnap and torture you because of your acquaintance to Javier. Could you ever heal from such brutality?
Word Count: 4k
Content Warning: kidnapping, torture, sexual assault, paranoia, flashbacks, ptsd. Typical narcos violence.
Note: If you or anyone you know has been a victim or assume please report it. Or you can call your local sexual assault hotline. You are NOT alone, and progress is not linear, you are strong, you have a life worth living. I am a victim of sexual assault; I liked the 10 years later concept as it’s been 10 years this year for me since I was sexually assaulted.
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"Gracias," you offered the young waitress before you, as she put your and Javier coffee on the table in front of you. With your two freezing hands you cupped your hands around the boiling cup, grateful for some relief of the bite the cold kissing your fingers with. Even with a hoodie and track pants, you were freezing, it was meant to be a warm day, regardless, it was 6:00am. The sun barely visible on the horizon, buildings meet the sky before the sun. Javier, on the other hand, was in a simple yellow button up shirt, covered with a brown leather vest and jeans, how he wasn't shivering you never understood.
"Good coffee?" You asked meeting his eyes as he licked the coffee of his lips after a mouthful of his long black. You tried to stifle a smile as you watched him roll his eyes at you, "every morning it's the same y/n." Is his typical answer, today he decided to fuck with you. "Actually, think I'll try yours today." Before you could comprehend what he said he snatched your cup and took gulp, purposefully making a painstakingly loud slurping sound, sighing loudly as he put the near empty cup before you. You watched him in disbelief, finally lifting your slack jaw off the table, "unbelievable Peña, estúpido." Asshole.
You were met with a sly smile as you both stood, departing for the day, his hand rested on your shoulder as he shrugged, "sorry Hermosa." Beautiful. Your face lit up as if you were sitting next to a furnace, face red and feeling the full effect of his words. Just trying to get out of trouble, you think. "It's fine, you can make it up to me tomorrow morning, Peña." You walked together to the end of the street about to depart, the sun has slowly started rising above the tall buildings that previously stood in its way, some warmth fueling your body. "Actually, I wanted to invite you for dinner and drinks tonight. I could use the company."
Inside your head you were yelling with excitement, jumping into his arms and kissing him, accepting the offer graciously with a kiss shared between you. Snapping out of your imagination, you were met with expectant eyes and one of Javier's hands under your chin, hiding the worry he felt behind them. "Count me in, see you at 8?" You replied with a small smile. A boyish grin spread across his face as he started to walk down the hill away from you, "See you there Cariño." You couldn't hide the smile once you turned away, heading on your own work adventure for the day. What you failed to notice was two men watching the interaction between you that morning, watching you depart and follow you to work.
"Great job today everyone! Recuerda completar completar tu tarea.” Remember to complete your homework. A course of laughter from the class of teenagers, erupted as you dismissed them, waving them goodbye as they left the small building. Volunteering to teach undereducated locals living in poverty was your passion, it gave you an everlasting sense of pride that you get to help them, that you make a difference. You checked your watch as you gathered your paperwork to put into your desk for tomorrow's lesson, 6:00pm it reads. You still had time to get home, shower and make yourself look presentable for Javier.
Reaching into your back pockets, you retrieved your car keys, annoyingly they slip from your fingers, the lack of sunlight making it difficult to see, your bare fingertips grazing the found when, ah gotcha! You wrap your fingers around the key and bring it up to the door to unlock it-
You were suddenly gasping for air as a massive pressure situated around your throat, you started thrashing in a panic, only to bump into something-someone, you tried to scream only to have a dirty rag bought up to your mouth and covered your nose. Your vision was blurring and you were starting to see double of everything as black spots accompanied the already struggling eyesight to form a picture of your surroundings. Your keys and book bag dropped to the ground as you lost all strength to stay conscious. As you struggle to stay conscious the only thing on your mind was Javier, then darkness found you and consumed you fully.
Javier had waited until 8:30pm until he became frantic, ringing your mobile in hopes to contact you, with no luck, ringing Steve to see if he'd heard from you.
The candles on the table burning furiously, becoming more wax than there was candle left, the takeout on the table becoming stale in the cold air inside Javier's apartment, the cracked open wine, as a result of Javier's restlessness waiting for you to arrive. His mind plagued with thoughts.
Maybe you forgot, maybe you went home, maybe you were held back, maybe you're just NOT interested in being around him in your spare time.
But none of those thoughts made sense to Javier, you were exceptional with communicating to him and you were always on time, "if you weren't early you were late", you would always say. Which fulled Javier's panic, this being completely out of character, it being dark and late, not to mention he was in the middle of fighting a war with the narcos. The situation became dire as he realised he kept a tracker in your scrunchie you wore everyday. He told himself it was ‘just in case’ truthfully, it was because he wanted some peace of mind, thankfully it was practically a staple of your outfits, a weird thing he liked about you, you were consistent. Logging into his phone he began pacing as he checked your location, he tracked you to a part of town that had him on edge, only 2.5 miles from your apartment, this was an area swamped with men who worked for the narcos, hitmen, assassins, recruited child soldiers, they all accumulated in this area as to keep their heads out of the government radar. You knew the dangers of that area, he knew you wouldn't just wonder into that part of town, you were in danger, he knew it, felt it. He dialled Colonel Carrillo biting his fingernails as he stormed out of his apartment into his car. "It's urgent Carrillo, bring men with you, sending you the location now." He desperately spat out before Carrillo could get a word out.
Javier pulled up two streets over where Carrillo met him with three more of his men, men he-they could trust. “Y/n’s location lead me here, be prepared for violent retaliation. Entender?” Understood?
You had no idea how long you'd been held captive by these animals. The smell of smoke filled the air, filling your lungs of thick tar. Loud music blasting, their gleeful shrieks of joy and amusement when they realise you're awake, a coldness had your hands in its grasp as you realised you were in steel shackles, a thick line leading straight into the wall. Before you could take any more details in, scream filled the air, your screams. A burning sensation was all you could feel, your skin being victim to what felt like molten lava being poured over your body. The stiff ache from your body leaving you limp and weak, all you could do was blink. Your body felt numb after a few minutes of whatever they mutated your body with. You tried to hide inside of your head, desperate to escape reality and the world closing in around you, you just wanted it to end, you begged for death himself to take you away.
Your body was tossed around by a man whom you didn't get a good look at, only hearing his muffled voice cheering to the other men, "me saldre con la mía con esta puta." I'll have my way with this whore. The men cheered him on as he roughly inserted himself into you, sobbing silently was all you could muster, you had no strength, no fight left in you as this man ravishing you slapped your face and pulled your hair from behind.
You didn't notice the moment three men stormed into the door to your left, immediately firing shots at the perpetrators, leaving them dead within a matter of seconds. You didn't notice the man as he slumped behind you onto the floor, his body limp and lifeless behind you.
A shadow of a man approaching you had you curling into yourself, knowing you couldn't take much more of this brutality, sobbing and uncontrollable shaking, the urge to fall asleep and never wake up.
Suddenly two hands were on your face, cupping them around your cheeks and you cried out, "no more please." Javier found himself flinching at this, his heart being pulled into a million pieces at the state of you. "Y/n." You knew at that moment it was Javier, but you couldn't meet his eyes, shame and guilt filled your being as he found you like this, you lie there feeling completely helpless and alone.
"Te voy a sacar de aqui ok, lo prometo." I'm going to get you out of here ok, promise.
His eyes scanned your body and saw the injuries, nothing life threatening, but he knew this would take a much harder toll on you mentally. His vest was wrapped around your bare body quickly, swiftly picking you up into his arms and carrying you to his car.
Javier ran the warm cloth over your bare body, cleaning your wounds as you sat in the tub in his bathroom. The silence becoming too much for him, he had a million questions but knew it wouldn't be helpful, it would in fact be harmful to you right now. So, he decided to shove those thoughts to the back of his head and spend all his time into cleaning you up and taking care of you.
Once out of the bathtub, the mix of red water had run desperately down the drain. As Javier bandaged you up and applied rubbing alcohol which you barely flinched at, Javier was beginning to see how this would affect you mentally, the toll it had taken. The burn marks from cigars, the stab marks from a small utensil, what he couldn't figure, possibly a screwdriver. Red and purple bruises covered your back, face and legs. The physical marks would heal, the mental scarring would stay for life.
"You should eat, Hermosa." To his suggestion you barely shook your head, food not an option as you knew you couldn’t stomach it.
Javier was silent beside you as he led you to his bedroom, slightly messy and a chaotic tone to it, it was perfectly Javier. "You can stay with me Cariño, I'll be in the lounge room. You're safe now." You sat silently on the edge of the bed, hands in your lap and eyes finding your fingernails to fixate on, you finally spoke when Javier neared the doorway, "w-wait," your voice was meek and tears fell down your face, he turned around and rushed to you immediately, kneeling down to you, waiting for you, willing to do anything for you. "Stay, please, I don’t want to be alone. Need you.” His large hands, abnormally warm, caresses your face as tears fell down his own face, something you knew you would never see from Javier, probably ever. You'd never seen him cry until now, not in the 4 years you'd known him.
He lies down on one side of the bed, you finally lie down beside him, apart but pinkies touching, you needed him, you needed to know he was here, and you were safe. He obliged, he needed you to feel safe with him, a wave of relief washed over him as you curled your pinkie around his own, the small gesture meaning more than he could say to you right now.
He listened to your labored breathing wishing he could have done more, you tried to relax so that Javier could fall asleep, and after a few hours he did, as did you.
The smell of smoke was thick in your lungs, you frantically looked around for Javier and he was nowhere to be seen, only the sticky windows clad with newspaper and the laughter of the men who had hurt you surrounded you as they took times mutilating your body.
Javier woke immediately at the sound of your screams, something he knew it would come to haunt him, his hand automatically reaching for his pistol beside the bed, scanning the room for intruders, when he found none, he realized what was happening, and his face fell into a deep frown as tears welled in his lash line.
His hands held your shoulders as he gently shook you, your arms flailing as you woke up in horror, a familiar voice pulling you out of your fears.
"I've got you, Cariño.”
The familiar smell of Javier grounded you, his body against yours in seconds, his arms around you tight enough to know he's got you, but not hurting you. Your breathing matched his after minutes of feeling him, listening to his heartbeat, finally able to bring yourself back to reality. Javier was here with you, and you were safe.
After a few minutes of silence and Javier holding you, his breathing became shaky, debating in his head wondering he should tell you, but you deserved the truth, you deserved to know it was his fault this happened to you.
“Y/n.." Javier's uncertainty caught your attention, in this instance his eyes couldn't meet your own, filled with silent tears as they fell down his face. "It's my fault they attacked you... we received intel from one of our insiders, they attacked you because..." Javier choked back tears as the guilt ate him alive, your hand finding his own and holding it to your chest, encouraging him to continue.
"Because they thought we were together. They targeted you because of me, I'll never forgive myself."
You frowned and Javier looked at you, thinking the worst by the look on your face, thinking you blame him, you hate him because of this, not that he would blame you.
"Javi this isn't on you.. this could never be your fault." Your lip quivered as you took a shaky breath, "all I could think about was you, you kept me alive through it all. I love you Javier." His eyes searched yours as your lips met his, the kiss wet from both of your tears, it being the most passion you've both felt. You had each other, at least.
1 day after the attack...
Aroma filled the apartment, Javier cooked for you, you could easily say it wasn't a 5-star meal, but you appreciated the effort, nonetheless. You reluctantly took a few bites of food, your body rejecting it before you could swallow. In tears once again, "m sorry Javi." Javier helped you clean up and shook his head rejecting your apology, "no apologies from you, Hermosa."
Javier called the DEA and told them he would be taking time off, that in itself was a big deal for you, that didn’t go unappreciated. You felt safe with him around, when he was gone for only minutes at a time, you would be peering through curtain bangs peeking through the window, checking the doors are locked, hiding under the bed. Your paranoia seemed to overcome you and Javier not once lost his calm with you.
1 week after the attack...
Yes, it had taken you 1 week, 7 entire days of Javier begging you to be looked over by a doctor, someone he trusted personally to look over your wounds, a small infection from a cigar burn was treated immediately and the doctor left you with the ointment to treat it, 3 times a day every day. You were glad Javier fought for your health. You had nightmares, every single night since, sometimes multiple times a night, you for the most part wouldn’t allow him to touch you, he was okay with this. He was still helping you shower, apply ointment and keeping your mind busy by playing card games, baking your favorite muffins (complete fail) but ended in you both laughing a little. Things seemed to be getting better day by day.
1 month after the attack...
Your infection was completely healed, like most of the scars on your body had. The scars in your mind were still fresh, feeling like every day they were being ripped open as you still struggle with nightmares and occasional peering out of the window. You were finally beginning to hold down food and fruit smoothies, trying to get your weight back up to what it was beforehand, as you had lost quite a bit. You had started seeing a virtual therapist via videocall and it had seemed to be helpful as they’d diagnosed you with PTSD, they were helping you a lot, even giving you their personal number to text whenever you needed, day by day the weight on your shoulders seemed to feel less and less. Until you hear guns firing in the middle of the night and you’re sent straight into a panic attack, you flee straight under the bed and Javier is trying to pry you out for over half an hour, that night was filled with night terrors, being held by Javier and hot chocolates, watching movies till 3am.
1 year after the attack...
Javier had officially asked you to be his girlfriend, after his devotion to you and putting his life on hold for yours, how could you say no. He was terrified to say the least, he had learnt your favorite meal and made it from scratch, a few glasses of your favorite wine were essential for this date, for his nerves (and because you liked it). He was relieved when you accepted as if he didn't believe you'd been in love with him this entire time. He had asked you to dance, it was a slow song that crated an incredibly intimate moment between the two of you, no words needed to be spoken, you both could feel the love stewing between you, how the happier days were looking forward, how your eyes were brighter than they were at the beginning, he swore one day he would make you, his wife. You made love for the first time, he was slow, considerate, kept asking for your consent to continue, spent hours making you feel loved, searched your eyes for any doubt, regret or fear, but only found love.
5 years after the attack...
You both had moved to England after Javier surprised you with plane tickets, your bags already packed, he was hopeful you'd agree, both of you starting to start a new life together, hopefully easing some burden off your shoulders if you were out and away from where you'd attached your trauma. He knew you couldn’t heal properly if you were in the environment you were trying to heal from.
You'd moved to a small country house built of brick with a big meadow, after weeks of begging Javier had agreed that you should adopt a cat, a rescue called "mouse" he was a grey and white 3 year old that was missing one eye. You figured you could help each other through the troubles you'd been through, which you did, mouse came to trust you within weeks and you never felt alone with mouse lying on your chest every morning.
Javier would never admit it but he came to love mouse as much as you do.
He was so proud of you when you finally realised you were ready to tell your story to Javier, what happened that day. You both broke down and he blamed himself, a lot. But the next morning you both knew it would be easier to move on, you could talk about your trauma and Javier learnt to forgive himself.
8 years after the attack…
You couldn't help the tremble of your hand as you looked at the tiny + that appeared on the pregnancy test after minutes of waiting, your heart felt heavy and you wondered how Javier would react, he never mentioned wanting children. Maybe this would be the breaking point after all you've been through.
Javier found the test buried in the bin half sticking out and confronted you, he was absolutely terrified, you confirmed it and both started crying, he knew immediately he wanted to have this baby with you, he wanted to have a family, the whole works. Even though your bump wasn't visible, he knelt down and kissed your stomach, "I love you kid, you and your mama are my world."
He spent every night of your pregnancy talking to your growing baby up until she was born, Javier named her "Esperanza Peña." Hope. It was that same night your daughter was born that Javier proposed to you, he knew once his daughter was born he never wanted to leave either of you. He was a fantastic dad, he changed her nappies, sang and danced with her, let you sleep overnight to do the feeds. Cried with her when she was hurt, laughed when she giggled, loved her with his whole heart.
10 years after the attack...
Here you were, watching your daughter throwing flower petals down the isle, her brown hair bouncing on her shoulders, her pastel pink gown swaying in the gentle autumn breeze. Javier immediately softening his pose and his eyes swelling with tears and heart with pride seeing how much his daughter had grown in 2 years. He gave Esperanza a kiss and she joined your family that were seated. Your entrance song started playing, you walked down the isle clutching bouquet of flowers that consisted of whites, yellows and pinks, your fitted white dress dragging about 10 feet behind you, the sheer veil in front of your face keeping you partially hidden. The lace looked beautiful on your skin, your subtle make up and half up hairdo had Javier sobbing, his eyes watching you so intently, so full of love and warmth, the sparkle in his eyes had never left all these years. He loved you now more than ever.
Naturally there was no hesitation for you both to say “I do." With that you shared your first kiss as a married couple, surrounded by loved ones, family, friends.
During your honeymoon, which was spent on a private island all expenses paid, you had turned down a cocktail, which had Javier raising his eyebrows in confusion, expectant on an answer. You exhaled a shaky breath as you handed him the pregnancy test that read + positive. He had to stop himself from tackling you into the bed of the hotel that night. Tears of happiness and disbelief fell from his lash line. “Thank you for making me a father and a husband, Hermosa.” You smiled as you thought ‘thank you for not leaving me at the altar.’ You caressed his cheek lovingly and smiled, “thank you for being my saviour, hermoso.”
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alistarascendance · 6 days
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CHAPTER ONE: COURTING DEATH
this is going to be an IF (interactive fiction)! for more information, check out this post.
prev - current (ch1) - next
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An eternal slumber was hard to maintain.
At first, you were perfectly content at the thought of sleeping your whole life away, curled up in a tenebrous cocoon, with only the shadows and beasts hiding within the depths of the Chasm to keep you company. You deserved it, after all. After seeing the end to a pointless war, one that never should have begun in the first place, you found yourself weary; your bones aching with every step you took, and the rusted cogs in your mind seeing no point of oiling themselves.
But in everlasting sleep, you found refuge.
The day you plunged into the endless abyss of the Chasm was nothing special, really. You had no companions, no family, and no lover. Only the four walls of your humble abode and the small family of mice that lived in said walls to offer you company. It was then when you realized how lonely you truly were, and that this day had been coming for a long time now. You simply had chosen to follow it through on a whim, but the more you pondered, the more satisfied you grew.
This was a fitting end to your story. 
Or so you believed.
You don’t know how many days have passed since then, but it had been long enough that your mind felt newly refurbished, and the aches of your body, ceased. And yet, your body remained shrouded in shadows, per usual. But when a sliver of sunlight snuck through the cracks, caressing your skin with a sort of warmth you had forgotten, your eyes opened.
Light flooded your vision, your pupils contracting as they attempted to adjust to the sun. You raised your arm to shield yourself, joints stiff at first, but your motions quickly grew more fluid as you stretched out your limbs. The white cloak you wore, a sharp contrast against the swirls of black around you, shifted to drape itself over your back as you moved forward, tentatively at first, before your strides grew brisk.
In the Chasm, the laws of nature did not apply. Time hardly passed, and though you stood upon what was seemingly a drop into an infinite void, the darkness shifted to obey your every whim, holding you afloat. As long as you had courage, you would do well here. Although monsters dwelled in these depths, in all your years here, they had rarely bothered you. It was simply more proof of the error behind the beliefs of humanity.
Dozens of pairs of glowing eyes blinked open, making themself known to you as they followed your movements. One pair of menacing red eyes in particular trailed after you, making its interest prominent. Shadows seemed to fester around the figure, clinging to every inch of its skin to make it stand out, even amongst the darkness itself.
“Where are you going?” The sound was a low, baritone hum, the gruffness of its tone emanating from its chest as each syllable slithered through its ivory fangs with careful poise. The juxtaposition was common in Aayixa, the language of the dead, for death was similar to an abstract painting: depending on the viewer, it could appear very differently to one than it might another.
This particular creature, defined by the ugly, jagged scar that crawled up his neck and hooked onto his jaw, ending on the high of his cheek, taught it to you. He was the only monster that you found was brave enough to strike up conversation, and it was simple to see why. He did not fear you. The others were more tentative. Cautious. But him? He had an aura of effortless confidence to him, and it was evident in everything he did.
You sighed, closing your eyes briefly. “To the Surface.” You spoke carefully, keeping your voice devoid of emotion. The voice of your teacher was as dead as the language he spoke, so it wasn’t much of a surprise that you ended up adapting the coolness from him.
“…The Surface?” He squinted at you. “Why would you go there? Has the light piqued your interest?”
“Perhaps it has.” You slowed to a stop, the pounding in your head making irritation fester. “Is that an issue?”
He laughed. The sound was husky with condescension. “I believe you know the answer, my pet.” 
Your eyes shifted to the light that had creeped in, seeping in through the cracks to create a window of opportunity for you. It had been so long since you had felt… alive. The Surface being unable to fulfill your needs was why you had retreated to the Chasm, but perhaps it’d be different now. Perhaps, humanity had shed its old ways, and was birthed anew. Perhaps… this time, you had a chance—a proper one—for a life.
“And I believe you know my response, Teacher.”
Crimson pupils narrowed into slits, but he spoke none. A beat of silence passed, before you began to walk again. He followed after you.
“Why do you wish to return?” 
You gave a short hum of thought, wondering just how much of the truth you should share with him. He had never appeared to you as the overprotective type, but you could hear the subtle hint of annoyance in his voice. “To see what has happened in my absence.” Fairly true. It was close enough, anyways.
He watched you. “Is that all?”
“Were you expecting more?”
His dark, serpentine tongue flickered out from between his lips to lick at them in thought. “…Perhaps.”
You exhaled slowly. “Then, let me make myself clear: I want to live.” Your eyes narrowed subtly at the way his gaze followed you, concisely, taking in your every move. The possibility that he might stop you weighed heavily on your mind. He was strong enough to do it, and you knew he could. You simply had to hope that he wouldn’t. “And as lovely as the Chasm is, the Surface has its own charm.”
The menacing look in his eyes faded, and turned into something more contemplative. “Ah…” he exhaled slowly, the sound coming out as a hiss. “I suppose time does tend to blur here. And mortals… crave adventure. And yet, that’s always what gets them k-k-killed.” 
“I won’t die.” You huffed loudly. “I have Argos’s Spear. I will be fine.”
Your hand slid into your pockets, fingers subtly grazing against the cool handle of said spear. After the devastating war, and the death of the deity who once wielded it, you had retrieved it, and claimed it as your own to help rebuild civilization. Now, it resided in the modest state of a pocket knife, until you would call upon its power to aid you once more. 
Your eyes shifted over to your teacher, whose face had contorted in disapproval. “You mortals are always so overconfident.” He said the word with a hint of disdain, before his tone flattened out into its typical monotone. “You hardly know how to use that spear.”
“I know how to summon upon its magic, and that’s all I need.”
He chuckled throatily at that. “Ah, yes, rely on the magic of a weapon belonging to a deity long gone, why don’t you? Certainly, it’ll help you improve your own skills, and not force you into becoming practically useless without it.” His voice was thick with sarcasm, and his strides became longer and quicker.
“You know plenty well that I am capable on my own.” You paused, and then your voice softened. “You taught me how to be.”
He slowed back into a regular pace, and for a second, he looked conflicted. “Well. I suppose you’re not wrong in that regard.” He quieted, and then his eyes shifted over to you. “Will you ever return?”
You stopped. The subtle flicker in his voice made you hesitate.
“Do you want me to?”
He stopped.
“Perhaps.”
The shift of his tone to something softer made you stop mid-step, and you found your eyes widening. You hadn’t expected him to care. Carefully, you clutched your cloak, fisting the silk in one hand, trying to root yourself. The drill of his stare into the side of your head didn’t help your mind to function properly, either, but you finally responded.
“Then I will,” you breathed. The tremble of your own voice frightened you, but you tried to hide it, masking it with faked indifference. “Is this conversation over, now?”
“Hardly.” He eyed you carefully, but spoke no more. The expression on his face hadn’t changed, but the something in the air had. When you met his gaze—a brief, fleeting clash of crimson against your own—he looked away.
The conversation died into a standstill, but as eager as you were to see the Surface, you wanted to at least give him a proper goodbye.
You wished you didn’t have to. You wished that you could say with certainty that you’d be back—but you knew better than to make promises you couldn’t keep.
A beat of silence passed, and you watched as he slowly closed in on himself, shoulders hunching over slightly as wisps of shadow danced around his broad figure like a cloak of darkness. Seeing him retreating brought forth a surge of courage in yourself.
You pursed your lips, carefully grazing your tongue against the roof of your mouth to emit several soft clicking sounds, the sound coming out a bit hastily, but you wanted to make sure he’d hear. Thankfully, his eyes snapped back to yours in an instant, and you smiled, knowing that you must’ve done something right—or, very wrong, but you’d find out either way.
“…Are you trying to communicate?” He huffed silently. “How brazen of you. To think that you would have the gall to attempt speaking Aayixa in its purest form—why, I can hardly believe it, even from you.”
“Did I not do it right?” Your smile widened.
He frowned at that, squinting at you inquisitively before a small smile faded onto his lips. “No, you did it completely wrong.” He reached out for you, his fingers grazing past your cheek in a ghost of a breeze—a skeleton of a touch. Sensing his distance, you took his hands in your own, the timid brush of his body against your own making your expression soften as you brought him closer.
“Not a single word?” You were grinning now, knowing that the smile was too wide and immature for his liking, but unable to suppress it. “Come on, I must’ve gotten something right.”
“…Maybe,” he admitted, his eyes lingering on the curve of your lips. “Maybe you did get just one word right.” He slipped a hand out of your own, gliding it down your neck, and it settled on your throat. His touch was gentle yet firm, a reminder of his strength, and your mortality. “Love.”
He repeated the series of clicks you had made, though a few notes were higher pitched and some were lower. “In Aayixa, the tone of your voice can change the meaning.” He gave the slightest of nods. “Try again.”
You obliged, but your tone simply wouldn’t adjust, sounding of the same monotone that you hated so such, nothing like the playful highs and baritone lows of his voice. You let out a noise of frustration before giving it another try, this time taking it slowly, pressing your hand to your throat to help sound out the notes. Eventually, you got something close to it, and a pleased smile spread over your lips. “Was that it?”
His eyes glimmered with something akin to pride. “Mhm hm,” he hummed. “Perhaps you’re not as much of a failure as I thought. I’d nearly say well done, but that’s a compliment meant to be rewarded some other time.”
You scoffed, and your lips parted, about to retort, but were cut off by the feeling of his thumb running over the curve of your neck, his touch leaving sparks behind. His hand settled there, caressing your throat, eventually finding your pulse.
Your breathing shallowed, enraptured in the sensation of him unabashedly touching you. This was more than a simple brush, or glide across your skin. This was different. This was new.
You found yourself reveling in it more than you should.
“…You are lucky, to have a heart.” The soft murmur of his voice made you look back at him. The look on his own face was almost wistful. “Shadows, such as myself, do not get to experience the feeling of morality. It must be exciting.” He slid a finger up your neck, and then trailed it along the slope of your jaw. “I wonder, what does it feel like, to be afraid?” He mused. “To… have your blood, pounding in your ears, and feel the way your feet thump against the asphalt roads, as your lungs hastily try to take in as much air as they can?” His hand slipped out from underneath your face, and it dropped back to his side. “But it must be terrifying, as well.”
A smile settled over his lips. This one was more rueful than the last. “Ah, humans…” he sighed, “I may only hope that we can begin to understand their complexities.” He paused. “Speaking of which, do care to enlighten me on something.” He stared down at his fingertips, perhaps imagining the feel of your heartbeat again. “You never seem to be as emotional as humans are known to be,” he finally said. “Are you, perhaps, simply an outlier, amongst people? Or is there a more concrete answer?”
Your brows rose, though you were secretly charmed that he was now the one asking you questions. “Well, truth be told, you calm me.” You chuckled sheepishly. “Not just you, but there’s a sense of tranquility to the Chasm, as a whole.”
“Oh?” His lips quirked, and blood-red irises met your own. “A curious thought.”
You couldn’t help but grin right back at him. As much as you did occasionally get flustered by the enigma that was your teacher, for the most part, it was the truth. Him, the Chasm, its residents—all of it brought a feeling of peace to you. Here, you didn’t have to worry about the complexities of life, or intricacies of humanity. Here, it was simply the shadows that greeted you, and the darkness that welcomed you.
Oh, but you were so greedy—as was in human nature, unfortunately, and you were no exception. In the end, that was what drew you away from the Chasm and towards the Surface, where humans ruled as tyrants and destroyed themselves from the inside-out.
You were a beast, no different than Teacher or the rest of them.
The aforementioned shadow seemed to be able to tell what you were thinking, because he raised your hand, clasped in his own, to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently. The soft graze of his fangs against your skin made you smile.
“I understand,” he said. His voice was a low, sweet rumble. You’d miss that voice. “Experience what you have craved for, after all these years. I will not be the one to keep you.”
Your grip on his hand tightened as he began to pull away. You drew him closer to you, winding your arms around his neck, and he bent down to let you better reach him. Slowly, his arms returned the gesture, embracing you in a gentle manner.
“…You give good hugs,” you muttered, trying to hide the way your voice was cracking.
He chuckled. You could tell you weren’t fooling him in the slightest, but were glad he didn’t say anything as you stepped back to rub at your eyes.
“I’m glad to have been able to give you one before you go.” His smile was fond. 
Eventually, he held his hand out to you. A necklace was looped around his fingers, carried with caution. It was thin, and appeared to be made out of gold, but had a single, teardrop-shaped ruby looped through it. “A gift.” Something glinted in his eyes as he reached out for you, ignoring the way the sunlight burned his skin as he placed it around your neck. “Lose it, and I will not hesitate to track you down.”
Your eyes dropped to the ruby, the jewel cool against the warmth of your skin.
“…I won’t,” you promised. He slowly retracted, merging back into the shadows, but the red of his eyes remained.
“Take care, my pet.”
Your eyes lingered on his figure momentarily before you turned back to the origin of the light, and it grew brighter as you continued along the dark landscape. At last, you found yourself at the end of the Chasm, and the beginning of the surface world. Slabs of concrete shielded a portion of the gap, leaving behind only a small hole for you to squeeze through, but it was enough. You’d make sure it was enough.
You took one last fleeting glance over your shoulder, and at the only place that was willing to take you in after you found yourself with no where to go, and no one to turn to. It was nice. It was home.
But it’d be nicer if you could turn the Surface into your home, too.
You swallowed. Thickly, and you felt the lump that formed as it struggled to go down.
“Goodbye.”
Your eyes met a certain pair of crimson slits among the dozens that watched you. “I’ll keep my promise,” you added, your voice growing soft and somber. Though you couldn’t hear his response, the amused crinkle of his expression told you all you needed to know.
And then you crossed the border, and found yourself being swallowed by light.
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thoughtsfromlayla · 1 month
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My Dearest Defiance
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Summary:  Equal as an Endless, more than a human, yet less than a god. Where did you even belong? The question has haunted you since you first saw humanity rise into power. Now your brother has been kidnapped and you can't do anything to help him.
Notes: ~7.5k words, This fic is a follow-up to this post sent in by the lovely @kpopgirlbtssvt, thank you so much for the idea! I took a few liberties with the plot and I hope that's okay with you!
Warnings: Platonic! Big Brother x little sister! Reader, *side eyes* a lot of angst, violence, physical abuse, heavy mentions of cancer, implied alcohol consumption, minor Dreaming mind-fuckery, death of Reader (you come back...ish), death of characters, comfort in the end :)
Masterlist
Mother Night and Father Time, the first lovers, the everlasting lovers. And it was through their love that the Endless were born. Your eldest brother Destiny came first, birthed in dark cloaks and the book that was named after him. He is in charge of the fate of every being to live. 
Every being who has lived must follow the path of this fate and fate always ends in Death, your eldest sister. When Mother and Father realized that the humans must do something while waiting for Death, they birthed your favorite brother, Dream. He is hope, the one who gives the humans courage to stand up for themselves and make do with their lives. Soon, humans wanted more and in succession, the rest of your siblings were born: Destruction, Desire, Despair, and sweet Delight soon to be Delierum. 
While every Endless was busy tending to their own realms and their own duties, you were born. Endless in name but not in power. You were the runt of the family, with no realm to call your own, and no responsibilities of your own. Yet here you stood amongst the humans that soon called you Defiance, the human spirit, the resilience to continue despite all odds. 
You’re sure your siblings knew of you, certainly enough to be invited to family dinner once every 100 years. Yet you could never shake the feeling of inadequacy when you were sat at the far end, only to be over-talked by everyone. They were discussing important matters, after all, nothing that you had to concern yourself with. 
You only find solace in Dream, where no matter how difficult the days get, you may always find a home in his realm. While he is adamant about letting you stay in the castle, you find it more comfortable to live in a cottage at the edge of the realm where the forest meets with the vast unknown and you grow vegetables from the soil you tow. It also allows you to escape to the waking world without Dream knowing.
You love humans, their lives fascinate you to no end. They know of you, just as they know of all of your Endless siblings, but sometimes it just takes a little more for them to realize. You would never push them to admit to your existence and somewhere along the millions of years of existence, you have given up trying to be the center of attention. 
To understand humans is to live like them, talk like them, and love like them. Unfortunately, humans are more than that and often succumb to feelings of anger, depression, righteousness, and violence. You try not to associate yourself with those emotions, but it’s innate. 
It’s been a few weeks since you stepped foot in Dream’s castle, and who could blame you? The village in which you reside is much more fun than the dreary castle your brother tends to enjoy more. The thick castle wall blocks out the sunlight, it’s filled with dust and smells of wet stones and old books. Not to mention, when Dream was busy, there was no one to talk to. Lucienne was always busy, picking up after her King, and you don’t even want to get started on Mervin. 
He’s only nice to you cause you gave him his pumpkin head when his original turnip head started going out of style. Otherwise, it’s cigar smoke being blown into your face and sassy remarks. 
You’re out in the market square when you feel the presence of your Endless Sibling. You turn from the flower vendor with a big smile and wave at Dream as he makes his way towards you. The dreams that he created step to the side in the presence of their sovereign.
“Brother!” You exclaim when he gets close enough for you, wrapping one of your arms around his while the woven basket hangs in the other. 
The basket was filled with a few apples and a fresh loaf of bread. You were just about to buy a few glass snowdrop flowers before you were pleasantly surprised by Dream. 
“How do you do this afternoon, dear sister?” He speaks, leaning into your face to tease you. 
You giggle at him as the two of you walk the main road, passing dreams and nightmares alike, a few waving at you in greeting that you return.
“I’m doing great. I was thinking of going to the waking world later today and spending some time with Death, actually.” You respond, your arm leaves Dream’s as a different vendor catches your eyes. They were selling acrylic paints in colors that you haven’t seen since half a century ago. 
“Here, hold this,” You say as you hand off your basket to Dream. He does as he’s told and holds the basket, the white paint offputting to his otherwise completely black outfit. 
You grab a few jars of paint and can already think of the wonderful things to draw when you get back into your cottage. There was a specific lake nearby that you haven’t been able to do justice to, but you think you finally can with the new color. 
A brief conversation of exchange happens between you and the vendor before you turn around. You burst out laughing at the sight before you. Dream stood in the middle of the road where you had first told him to hold your basket and hadn’t moved an inch. His shoulders were stiff and taught as he held your basket as far away from his body as possible. 
“It’s not going to bite you, you know!” You practically cackle at him. Your giggles follow you as you carefully place the jars of paint into your basket. You think that you will paint some flowers and ivy onto your basket later tonight. 
You go to take the basket back from him but he’s quick to move it away from your grabby hands. 
“You specified that I should hold it, so hold it I shall,” He says and holds the basket higher, just out of your reach, when you go to grab at it again. 
You huff at his rather stubborn behavior, but he’s been like this since the beginning. He always looks after you and takes care of you. You’re always grateful for it, but you can carry your own basket. You resolve the conversation with a roll of your eyes but the smile on your face stays in place when you turn your back to him. 
Dream walks you home, basket now significantly heavier and full of things you didn’t really need. Well, except maybe the paint, it’s good to splurge every once in a while. Your cottage is basked in a warm light as the Dreaming’s sun slowly disappears beyond the horizon to rise in another universe. The pie you had baked this morning had long since cooled and you brought it inside with a hum, your brother still following you. 
He set the basket on the simple kitchen table before taking a seat and watching you slice up the pie with a smile. You set the pastry down in front of him and another plate for yourself. The savory apple flavoring takes over the senses when you take the first delicious bite. 
“I would like you to come back to the castle soon,” Your brother says as you take another bite. 
“Whatever for?” You question, a little bit of apple filling falling out of your mouth. “The cottage is my home.”
Dream sighs but answers anyway. “I will be gone for a moment, I need to take care of a rouge nightmare,  and would like you to be cared for while I am away from the Dreaming.”
“How long will you be gone for you to want me to live in that dreadful place?” You make a face as you think about the boring days ahead of you. Well, maybe you can escape to the castle garden if Mervin isn’t paying attention. 
“I cannot tell you for I do not know.” 
You purse your lips as you think about his request. “Fine,” You groan. 
“Best not see Sister Death today.” When you don’t bother with a response he speaks against “Farwell, sister. I will be back soon,” He promises you before standing. You didn’t get the chance to follow him to the door before he leaves, his apple pie still untouched. 
“Ugh, how wasteful.” You joke to yourself. 
You spend the rest of your evening painting your basket as you had wanted before packing up a few items for the castle. Your basket was a gift from your brother and had an infinite amount of storage. So you managed to shove an extensive amount of your wardrobe, the paints, and some of the freshly baked pastries into the small wooden thing. You set off when the moon was high in the sky and the stars came down from their afternoon nap and danced in the village square. 
Their stardust shoes clink like pure jade against the cobblestone road, illuminating the otherwise quiet and sleeping town. A few wave  at you, shimmering particles following their movements before they return to their waltz. You wave back to them before continuing on your journey, mindful of where you stepped. 
When stars come down to the Dreaming they become transparent and more gaseous than solid but that doesn’t stop them from burning hot. And unless you wanted to recounter that one time you stepped through one and started sneezing and coughing stardust for the next 10 years, you’ll keep your distance - only allowing for their natural light to guide your way out of the village and towards the castle. 
By the time you reach the castle, Dream is nowhere to be found and you assume he went out to do what he mentioned earlier that day. Your room was set up for you,  Dream obviously had some palace staff tidy up the room as you took a look around the clean environment. Otherwise, everything was in the same place you had left it since the last time you were at the castle. You yawn as you set your basket down by the door. First a good night’s rest, then you can go to the waking world to do your own things. 
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You sneak out of the castle a few minutes before dawn, the soft bed and good night’s rest giving you the energy you need to do so. You grimace when the door creaks loudly as you slowly open it, smelling the early morning dew on the grass and the warming dawn wind. 
“Where are you headed, my dear?” A voice stops you in your tracks. You suck your lips into your mouth as you soon recognize the voice. 
“Good morning, Lucienne,” You greet curtly, holding, or rather, hiding, your basket behind your black skirt. 
Lucienne gives you a pointed look. “Yes, good morning.” 
You give her a smile before stepping back out the door, only to be stopped when she purposefully clears her throat. 
“The question?” She presses.
You feign innocence and bat your eyelashes, not that it would work. “What question?”
“Lady Defiance, my Lord specifically states that I keep my eyes on you.” Lucienne holds her hands behind her back as she takes her stance. 
“By all means, keep your eyes - hey what’s that?!” You gawk as you point behind Lucienne. 
Lucienne snaps her head around to look at what you were so surprised by. She doesn’t see or sense anything when she does. It’s about two seconds of her searching before she realizes that she has been duped. When she turns around the door is swinging shut and you are nowhere to be seen. She slams the door open and only sees the last of your figure disappearing on the horizon.
You’re still giggling to yourself about pulling off that little trick when you reach the ocean of the Dreaming. The little wooden dock creaks under your weight as you skip across it. Having done this traveling before, you jump right in with a squeal, holding your nose close so you don’t get any water in. 
The water pushes and pulls but you don’t fight the current knowing that it will take you where you wanted to go. When you emerge, you cough once and the water falls off your body, leaving you dry in cloudy 1916 England. You wrap your blazer closer to your body as the wind picks up and leave the alleyway. The familiar smell of roasted peanuts from street vendors and car fumes tickles your nose when you turn the corner to walk into the hospital. 
“Hi, I’m here to visit Genny, uh, Geniveve, Geniveve Colemen,” You correct yourself to the receptionist. The woman nods and looks down at her computer. 
“She’s in the same room, 443. Here’s your visitor’s pass.” She hands you a laminated badge on a lanyard. 
You thank her before wearing the lanyard and going towards the nearest elevator. The elevator smelled of shoe polish and disinfectant spray and it made your nose crinkle. You just hope the smell doesn’t transfer onto your clothes. 
When you reach your destination, you knock on Genny’s door before entering. She wears her hospital gown and was reading a book when she looks up. A smile pasters onto her face when she sees you.
“Y/N!” She drops her book and sits up straighter. 
“Genny!” You exclaim back with the same amount of excitement. You place your basket by her bed before pulling out a fresh vase of flowers and setting it by her bedside table. 
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, what have you been up to?” She asks.
“Yeah, my mother took me to some private tutor to help me study for my tests,” You lie through your teeth as you fluff the flowers to make them look more appealing. 
You tuck your school skirt underneath you when you sit down next to Genny and reach for your basket again. “I brought you some homebaked goods. I know this hospital’s food has got to be horrendous.” 
You bring out the baked loaf of bread you bought the day before and rip off a slice for her. She takes the loaf and inhales the scent. 
“Gosh, Y/N, I don’t know how you make such good baked goods. Your husband will be a lucky one if you stop trying to chase them off.” She giggles and muffles through her full mouth. 
You laugh with her, sparing her the details of your actual life. You bring forth the lie you had carefully planted yourself as instead. A straight-A student that goes to the same school as Genny before she was diagnosed with cancer, how you were her best friend that visited her when you got the chance, how you had gotten onto the school council and despite all of her poking and prodding, she would not get to know what the school formal’s dance theme is going to be unless she went with you tomorrow to the dance. You try not to think about how frail she has gotten since the first time you’ve met her. Her collarbones were poking out and you can see how hard it was for her to take even breaths. 
When she asks you again later in the visit about the school dance you rebuttal quickly. 
“Are you going to come to the dance with me?” You laugh. “Speaking of which, I got you a dress, too!” You go back to your basket, pulling out a formal dress, and setting it in front of Genny. 
“Wow! Look at the bead stitching,” She says, running a delicate finger over the beading and gems then over the lacing. 
“I’ve got a good eye, don’t I?” You sit back down with a smile and a tilt of the head. “It matches my dress, too.”
“What about your own date?”
“Oh, please, I don’t have time for boys!” You giggle again, hiding behind the lie that you don’t actually go to her school. 
“Oh alright, I suppose I must go to the dance with you so you won’t be lonely.” Genny surrenders. 
You smile at her, happy she finally agreed. “You’re a great friend.” 
Genny coughs after your compliment and you’re quick to reach for the water and hand it over to her. When she sits up to drink you go to fluff her pillow. Genny lays back down with a sigh and all of the warmth that was in the room leaves through the window. She looks like she’s aged when she looks at you again, another cough crawling its way past her throat. 
“I’ll leave you to rest,” You say, turning around to grab your things. 
“No,” Genny refuses. “Can you stay for a little bit longer?” She coughs again and holds your hand weakly. “I want to feel like a normal girl for a little while longer.”
“Okay,” You whisper and sit back down, feeling the chill of the hospital around your ankles. 
You watch over her as she falls asleep, the conversation taking the last of her energy. You begin to stare off into space, thinking about your life. You did your best with the gift of immortality, but as you stare at Genny’s tense face, you wish you could do more. Equal as an Endless, more than a human, yet less than a god. Where did you even belong? The question has haunted you since you first saw humanity rise into power. 
Your thoughts leave you when you feel the beating of wings and a flush of wind from the door. Your head snaps and you see your sister standing there in her black tank top and the same combats boots you wore. 
“Sister Death,” You greet with a small smile, previous thoughts disappearing. “What brings you here today?” 
Your sister only smiles at you. Your excitement of seeing your sister again is soon taken over by dread. You look between your sister and your friend and the dots connect. 
“Oh... what? No!” You stand abruptly between your sister and Genny. “No! She still has so much to do in life!” You try to reason with her. 
“You cannot bargain with me, Defiance. You know that,” She says in her soft voice. 
“I don’t care,” Your lips form into a line. “At least let her go to the dance with me?” You try one more time. 
Death sighs with exaggeration. “Fine, but not an hour more.” 
“Thanks…” You’re not entirely sure how you managed to pull that off, unbeknownst to you that your sister has a soft spot for you much like Dream. 
Your sister looks you up and down before she leans on the door. “So how are you doing, then?” 
You look off to the side when you answer. “Fine,” You grumble out. 
She lets out a huff, or perhaps a laugh, you can’t really tell. “Would you like to go on a walk with me?”
It was a tempting offer, after all, you haven’t spent time with your sister in a while. You thought about it for a little while longer. “No,” You end up refusing. 
“Genny asked me to stay a little while longer, so I shall.” You turn away from your sister and sit back down in the uncomfortable hospital chair. You keep your head straight, looking after Genny, and don’t take your eyes off her even when you hear your sister departing. 
When she does, a tremble runs over your body. You feel tears prick at your lashline as you come to terms with the fact that your friend will be dying soon. You did your best to prevent the inevitable, but with no powers of your own, it’s only a waiting game now. 
You leave when visiting hours are over, Genny has yet to wake up from her nap. You leave the rest of the loaf on her bedside table, and a slice of your apple pie. You decide to tidy up the room as quietly as you can and hang her dress on the hook that was nailed to the wall. With one final look at her, you leave, only hoping that your sister doesn’t go back on her word and take her before her allotted time. 
You spend the rest of the evening in the waking world, catching up on new things the humans have done with their time. You end your day on a park bench, illuminated only by a single street lamp. The park was quiet, you’re only accompanied by the sound of crickets and the wind along the trees. You take in a deep breath of fresh air. Oh, how you have missed this. If only it was closer to summer vacation, you would’ve taken Genny to the beach and had some sun time with her. 
When you are done relaxing you go to the pond at the center of the park, the fountain in the middle still squirting out water and creating magnificent shapes and splashes along the surface. You could see the stars' reflection rippling as you peer at the lake over a bridge. The wind blows and you close your eyes to savor the moment. 
“I wouldn’t jump if that’s what you’re thinking,” Someone says next to you. 
You open your eyes and turn to see a man standing next to you, no older than 20. He takes off his hat when you speak. 
“I wasn’t, but thank you,” You reply simply and go back to looking out towards the expanding city. He doesn’t leave your side despite your answer and it gets a bit awkward.
“Are you thinking of jumping? Because I would also not recommend that, sir,” You turn to him again and see him laughing. 
“No,” He says. “I am just here to think.”
“Just like me then. What bothers your mortal mind?” You ask. 
“Many things… I’m afraid I have let my family down.” 
“How so?”
“We came here on a boat from the motherland, nothing to our name but a few pennies. I was supposed to go to college and finally put our family on the map. But I failed and now here I am, talking to a stranger on a bridge in the middle of the night.”
You laugh along with him. You knew of him and saw his dreams a few times when you went out exploring in the Dreaming. He wanted to be a doctor, specifically an athletic injuries doctor but failed out of medical school before he even got the chance. You rack your brain to think of his name, and when it comes to you, you speak. 
“Do not worry, Albert Brocken, I’m sure there are many opportunities that will come alight in the near horizon. Perhaps you should take the entrance exam again, and see where it takes you.” You yawn and you realize that you should probably start heading home. 
“Yeah… maybe I should,” He concludes with a sigh. “I think I might go into somnology,” He says more to himself than you. 
“Somnology sounds fascinating,” You agree. “I must go home now, but best of luck to you!” You walk away, your shoes barely audible on the stone bridge over the gushing fountain. Albert doesn’t look your way when you depart, too focused on his new goal in life. 
You find yourself standing before an old winding cottonwood tree in the same park. It’s been here for years, growing into the magnificent tree it is today. It’s passed by thousands of England residents almost every day, yet none of them are willing to stare at it hard enough to realize that the bark of the tree isn’t real. 
You take one last look around the park to make sure no one else sees you before walking straight into the tree, the danging leaves caressing you like a gentle mother’s touch. The trunk of the tree turns into a curtain of falling sand and you pass through with no problems. When you emerge on the other side, the bright moon of the Dreaming greets you, illuminating and basking you in a soft welcome. When you come back into the castle, Lucienne is on top of you like a hot iron. 
“Thank the Gods you are well,” She panics as she holds your arms. After taking a good overall look at you, she wraps her arms around your body and brings you into a hug. 
“Lucienne?” Your question muffled against her crisp uniform. “What’s going on?”
“Oh, my dear, you hadn’t come back all day. I thought perhaps…” She trails off before she takes a breath. “Lord Morpheus hasn’t returned, and neither had you, so I presumed the worst.”
“Morpheus hasn’t returned?”
“No, but you are here. Tell me, did you see him while you were in the waking world today?” Lucienne holds hope in her eyes and you resent the next word you say.
“No,” Your thoughts trailed off. “Morpheus hasn’t returned?” You ask again.
“I am sure there is nothing to worry about. I may just be overthinking is all.” Lucienne reassures you. 
“Okay…” You don’t completely believe her, somewhere deep inside you you can feel that Morpheus is in danger. As the King of Dreams and Nightmares, a rouge nightmare shouldn’t be anything to be worried about. He should be home by now. 
Your eyes close as soon as your head hits the pillow, but thoughts consume you. After the dance tomorrow night with Genny, you will go searching for your brother. The following day came quickly and you paced back and forth in the castle hall, the formal dress you had on jingling with your movements. Your thoughts were in overdrive, there was Morpheus of course, but you also knew that tonight was going to be Genny’s last day. And knowing that puts a weight on your shoulders. You have to make sure that tonight is going to be the best night of her life. 
When the time came, you went to the waking world feeling dolled up and in an antique car with the roof down. Your hair had enough hairspray to survive a storm from Zeus himself. You pull up to the hospital in a screech, Genny already waiting for you in the lobby. You check your lipstick in the mirror one last time before Genny reaches your car. 
“You know how to drive?!” Genny says with a smile and excitement that you found contagious. 
You resecure the silk scarf that protected your hair from the wind and open a pair of sunglasses to put over your eyes. You look at her over the bridge of your nose, your eyes shining past the sunglasses before stepping on the gas pedal.
“I know how to do many things, sweet Genny!” You shout over the wind, pushing the glasses back to their original position. 
Each time you looked over at Genny, her smile still hadn’t faltered and the last bits of the sun’s rays caught on the embroidery of her dress. Her softness brings a smile to your face and for a moment you forget about your brother. 
You pull into the gravel driveway of the school formal’s destination. You had managed to weasel your way into the school council and they were able to get help from the local people. The theme for this year's dance was “A Magical Night” and a local citizen opened his manor to the students for the night. He called himself a mage, something that you rolled your eyes at as magic has been rare in this world since the faeries left it half a century ago. But you kept that to yourself, if he wanted to play make-believe, then so let him. 
Students were already lining up outside the decorated manor when the two of you arrived. You hand your keys off to a valet and walk towards the door, hand in hand with Genny. Her excitement buzzed through her like a shot of tequila. 
When you cross over the threshold of the manor you are genuinely surprised at the decorations of the place. The ballroom had been cleared out and a live band was playing music for students to dance to. There was a bar on the far end of the ballroom serving drinks and small snacks. A doorman takes your jacket away from you before you grab Genny’s hand and head to the dance floor. 
Many of Genny’s old friends soon recognize her and start to surround you two, the night is still young and the sound of laughter soon fills the air. You and Genny danced the night away until you both were sweaty and out of breath. Your make-up had gone a bit smudged but you didn’t mind. It was nearing midnight when most of the students started to leave and you pulled Genny away for one last surprise. 
Genny started to slow down a bit, the exercise of the dance sapping away her energy. She pulls through though and follows you to a winding staircase that leads to one of the roofs of the manor. The spring air chills you to your bone, but it is well received after the sweat you have built up. You help Genny sit down before you sit down next to her, the shingles of the roof poking through your dress in an uncomfortable way. 
A satisfied sigh leaves your lips when you look out to the vast countryside behind the manor. The stars twinkle as far as the eyes can see and from your advantage point, no trees are blocking the view either. Genny pants beside you as she calms herself down from the climb and leans her head against your shoulder. 
“I am so glad you made me come to this dance,” She whispers as she looks out to the stars. 
“Me too,” You agree, you begin the absentmindedly swing your legs back and forth. Your heels come loose and slip from your feet and both you and Genny laugh at it. 
“Gosh, I hope that didn’t hit anyone,” She continues to laugh as she cautiously peers over the side. 
“Or else they’d have to smell my stinky feet, ewww!” You continue her joke. 
Her laugh turns into a cough and your mood shifts to melancholy. 
A shift in the winds tells you that her time will soon be up. “Genny,” You start. “My sister is going to be here soon.”
“Oh, really? I didn’t know you had a sister.”
“Yes, I have a huge family actually.”
“Well, tell me about your sister,” She smiles, head feeling heavier as she puts her full weight on your shoulder. 
“She is really sweet, and a soft, kind-hearted soul. Just like you, I suppose.” You say. 
Genny doesn’t reply and tears prick your eyes. When you turn your head you see Genny standing up with a smile, yet her body still remains on your shoulder. Behind her stands your sister, a reassuring smile and a gentle hand rest around Genny in a side hug. 
“Your sister says that she’ll take great care of me,” She starts and looks at Death with a solemn smile. “Will she?” 
“Yeah, she’s one of the best…” Your voice dips into a murmur as you feel your lips tremble. 
Your answer is enough for her and she turns to leave. She seems to have remembered something as she turns back around and wraps her hands around your shoulders, her ghostly figure slightly falling through your physical form. 
“I’ll see you again, right?” Genny asks, hope lines her figure and you can’t bear to see it fade. 
“Yes,” You lie through your teeth. “Good-bye.” 
She turns to leave with your sister, blissfully unaware of your last farewell. The sound of Death’s beating wings was the last thing you heard before it was just the barren countryside again. Genny’s body grows cold by your side as you pet her hair for the last time. 
The manor staff came soon when you faked a scream and soon ambulances came and went with her body. You’re left in the aftermath of a romantic dream of confection and ribbons alone in the middle of the dance floor feeling numb. 
“Hey, lady, if you’re going to stand here moping you can at least help out,” A staff member calls out and you snap out of your thoughts. 
He hands you a few foldable chairs and tells you to put them up. You nodded along, not really having much else to do. You meander through the halls when you realize that he didn’t tell you where to put the chairs. It’s when you find yourself at a set of stairs that lead down towards the basement. And to you, it made all logical sense for humans to store their things in the basement. 
You open the heavy double doors and descend further into the musky basement. Candles were lit on the stairs and its melted wax coats the edges as it lightens the path. When you get to the bottom, you’re greeted by the host of the party that you met earlier in the night. 
“What are you doing here, girl!” He scolds. 
You hold up the chairs, unaware of his tone. “Hi, Mr. Burgess. I’m helping with clearing up after the dan…” Your final word trails off as your eyes wander past his figure. 
Behind him sits your brother and your jaw drops. Mr. Burgess tries to stand between you and him when he notices that your attention is no longer on him. Dream stands fully in his glass prison and you would have made fun of the fact that he was fully rocking out in his birthday suit if not for the situation at hand. 
“Oh, what the fuck,” You whisper, dropping the chairs.
You breeze past Mr. Burgess and stand before Morpheus. Golden runes that surround his prison stop you short as if there was some sort of invisible force field. Your head whips around and faces your host again. He stands tall as he stares back. 
“Why do you have my brother in a-a… fucking FISH BOWL!” Your words stumble out at the utter audacity of the situation, your hands moving around expressively. 
Realization dawns on him and you realize that you made a mistake. “So, you are one of his family. That man warned me about your kind. Which one are you.” He seethes as he walks towards you. 
“You face Defiance of the Endless,” You spit back at him.
You were in no mood to play, first, your friend dies in your arms and then you learn that Lucienne’s suspicions were right and that something did happen to your brother. This whole time he had been here under your feet while you were having fun. His clothes, tools, and dignity stripped from him as you drank enough sparkling cocktails to make Dionysus jealous. 
The man scoffs at you and spits at your feet. “Oh please, and I thought that it was going to be hard. I’ve heard of you, little girl. They told me that you are nothing, a nobody. You have no realm, no powers, you are barely a god.”
You stay silent as he speaks, rage flushes through your body and your muscles tremble. His words rang true, but here you shall stand for your brother. He advances on you and you find that you have nowhere to go. A sharp pain burns across your cheek as his pierced cane comes into contact with your skin. 
Your body follows the force as it throws you off balance. Your head cracks against the stone floor of the basement and a gasp leaves you. Your vision blurs from the hit and you feel warm blood sliding down your cheek like an unshed tear. In the distance of your mind, you hear Dream slamming his fist against his glass prison. You stand again, determined to not be bested by a mere mortal. 
His cane comes down again like a whip, hitting your shins and then once again on the back of your knees. The blow forces you to kneel before him, and your cries of pain echo in your head. The coarse floor scratches at your palm but you keep your breath as even as you can. 
“Is that all you got?” You sneer as you look up at him through your eyelashes. 
His foot comes towards your face and you squeeze your eyes shut right before the impact follows. Your body tumbles further away from Dream, but his slamming continues. You feel the wall behind you, its surface cooling down your heating body. 
“Stop, I command you to stop!” Morpheus shouts, command muffled.
“Dream of the Endless commands you to stop,” You repeat your brother's words. You use the wall to brace yourself to stand on wobbling legs.
Iron fills your mouth and you spit it out back at Burgess’ feet, much like he did to you before. You grin when you see him grimace at the act. You wipe your mouth clean with the back of your hand, very unladylike, but between the three of you, who is going to judge? 
A backhanded slap snaps your head to the side and another painful scream follows. 
“Stop! Cease yourself or face my wrath!” Dream continues to scream as your vision blurs again. 
“No, I can take it,” Your voice is coarse but the message is heard loud and clear. 
“Oh, you can take it, hmm?” Burgess taunts and his cane jabs into your abdomen. 
You feel like you couldn’t breathe, that no matter how much your mouth gaped open, oxygen didn’t fill in your lungs as you needed it to. 
“I can take it,” You wheeze out again, another hit forces you back down and this time you don’t have the strength to get up again. 
“I suppose one step higher than capturing an Endless is to kill one,” Burgess laughs on top of you. His heavy body straddles you and you feel his hands wrap around your neck. 
Black dots swarm your vision like the expanding universe. Your nails claw at his hands, drawing blood, as your body tries its best to fight back. Burgess picks you up by the neck and slams your back down, stars waltz behind your eyelids and a brief vision of home comforts you. A ragged breath crawls through your throat before another slam into the ground silences you. Despite your efforts, your hands grow limp and you feel your body start to break down. It flakes away like spring cherry blossom petals as you take your last breath. 
“No!” Dream’s scream is the last thing you hear. 
Your consciousness fades to black and it is quiet for once. It’s odd to think that an immortal being can die, but it’s true. The only thing that differentiates it is that you could be reborn. Immortality is a fickle thing. 
When you come back into consciousness, you can feel the Dreaming heal your soul. It wraps its warmth around you like a soft blanket and you finally feel safe enough to stop everything that ran through your mind. When you stretch out your limbs you realize that you weren’t in your human form anymore. 
Your perception spans further and you can see new angles you haven’t seen before through your eyes. You wiggle your toes, or what you thought were your toes and feel soft and fertilizing soil below you. When you look down you notice that your legs have turned into the soft bark of a willow tree. Your arms shake and the reaching leaves of the tree shake from the action. You sigh and your bark groans and creeks under your deflation. 
You soon become a welcomed resident in Fiddler’s Green, providing shade for the decreasing amount of dreamers that come to visit you. As the years pass, the Dreaming starts to die around you as Morpheus stays entrapped under the Burgess Manor. You stay as a tree, unable to move and help. Guilt eats you alive, leaving your core to rot from the inside out. 
Lucienne comes to visit now and then, but as the castle starts to fall apart, she can’t find the time to come by anymore. Your days grow lonelier as Fiddler’s Green decides to leave the Dreaming as well. You stand on dry soil in a barren wasteland. Your inaction keeping you hostage like a ladybug in a spiderweb. The more you struggled, the harder you found it to keep your human consciousness. 
So, you did the most human you could think of: you cried. Fitting, you thought to yourself, a weeping willow, well, weeping. Your tears came to fruition in the form of vibrant yellow blossoming flowers against the beige and cracking surroundings. 
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You stayed like that for the next 106 years. Your roots had grown so long that you could feel each corner of the dreaming, searching high and low for water to drink from. Soon, even that would run out. Another tear runs down your bark, your trunk growing deep grooves where the previous century of tears had carved. Despite all odds, your leaves were still vibrant and your flowers would change colors based on your mood. A trick that took you a few decades to learn. 
The moon rises higher and higher over the horizon. You follow its path, counting the fragments to keep your mind from boredom. It split in half 15 years after Dream’s capture and every five years or so, another fragment separates from the moon. You counted 18 fragments this time around, the same as the day before, and the week before that. You yawn, the bark shaking as you do so and close your eyes to rest.
You wake to a soft hand on your bark just as dawn cracks. Your leaves shake in surprise as someone touches you. It takes a moment to reorientate yourself and when you look down from your height your breath hitches. 
“Sister?” Dream calls out, his hand still on your bark. 
Relief floods your system just as a soft breeze runs its fingers through your thin leaves. Your catkin flowers caress his skin when he smiles at you. Just as fast as relief has found you, guilt consumes you again. Morpheus has escaped, it had taken him 106 years and all you have done is stand here and do nothing. Your branches groan again, more flowers blooming in its wake as you weep again, and the individual petals turn a deep blue color. 
Dream grabs one of your leaves gently as it tries to recede from his touch. “Y/N,” He calls out carefully. “I do not blame you for what happened 106 years ago.”
“I am touched by your sacrifice.” He pauses as he picks his next words carefully. “You were the only one who came to my side when I needed it.” 
You still stay quiet but your petals slowly start to return to their yellow colors. Morpheus takes this as a good sign and continues. 
“I love you, dear sister, I wish for you to never doubt that. If only I could give you a hug for all that you had done for me,” He prods and extends both of his hands outwards. 
You purse your non-existent lips in thought, a very tempting offer. Why not try one more time, to be by your brother’s side? Your bark groans again and you concentrate. You try to remember the details of your human body. How did your hair look? How did you hold yourself? Did you have a mole on this side of your face? 
Your leaves and branches start to shake and shrink in on themselves the more you think. You call in your roots and start to wiggle your toes. You think of your fingers and how they had done so much for you: the paintings you made, the pastries you baked. One last tear escapes down your raw skin and when you open your eyes again, you are looking at Dream through new eyes. 
Morpheus comes into your space and wraps his steadying arms around you. You sob into his jacket until it becomes uncomfortable. Your throat is raw when you’re finally reduced to hiccups. Through it all, Dream is holding onto you, gently caressing your hair the way you have liked since you were born. 
“I like this new hair of yours,” He comments as he pulls at a few strands of your hair. It’s longer this time around and kept the same emotional properties your flowers had. It changes from blue to green as your mood shifts. 
“Great, now I can’t hide my emotions anymore.” You mutter weakly to yourself as it changes to red at your slight annoyance. 
Dream chuckles above you and gives you one final tight squeeze. 
“Welcome home, sister,” He whispers. You take a deep breath, letting it fill your lungs thoroughly. 
“Yes, I am home.” 
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I did a surprising amount of research for this fic. Apparently, the first woman to attain a driver's license was like in 1900 so that's why Genny was so surprised you could drive. Also, I would not recommend driving in a 1916 vehicle? Looks like it could explode at any minute.
This was a request! And requests are open, just go to my page and hit that button to submit one.
If you do submit a request, it may take me a bit to get to them just because of the nature of it and my classes are starting to get ready for finals. (Your girl is graduating this semester woohoo!)
I will see you in the next fic!
♡ Yours, Layla
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dominicsorel · 2 months
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So, Why Violet? The Short of It
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Now if you've seen Riku across this series, you'll notice a recurring theme with him is the purple, or as I'll call it here...the violet. Why I call it specifically violet is because violet is not simply just a color or a combination of red and blue but actually exists on the visible light spectrum.
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At the shortest wavelength of all light, it also has the highest energy. And beyond the visible spectrum exists a little something called ultraviolet. Ultraviolet (UV) light is a form of light only naturally found in sunlight.
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Riku is often represented by the sun and sunlight so it's incredibly fitting that his heart light color would be closely related to it. And the real kicker is that ultraviolet is usually INVISIBLE to the human eye.
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Also did you notice how they say seven pure hearts of light? Well, there's seven lights on the visible light spectrum.
Now for some color symbolism!
In Hinduism, violet is the color used to represent the Sahasrara, also known as the "crown" chakra. It is the point of which all other chakras originate and relates to pure consciousness. For Sora to reach full consciousness is a GIANT underlying theme in KH and it heavily involves his relationship with Riku.
The violet flower represents everlasting love and humility. It was the flower that Persephone was gathering when she was taken by Hades to the Underworld. They are flowers of transformation, the cycle of life and death, and rebirth.
Riku's light has guided Sora to the Final World and back, acting as the in-between of life and death for him. His connection to Sora is what brings Sora to the Dark World in KH3 through the Power of Waking and Riku has plunged into the KH lore equivalent to an Underworld to bring Sora back to life and home.
Because of the expensive nature of its dyes, violet is commonly associated with royalty and nobility as only the most wealthy could afford it. Riku has been theorized to have noble heritage and has found himself a great leader to those around him.
Other meanings behind this color include: the future, dreams, enlightenment, balance, a link between the spiritual and physical worlds, wisdom, and remembrance. All very fitting!
So as you can see, there's a pretty damn good basis for violet being Riku's heart color.
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lovenikkiclothes · 1 year
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Based around the waist accessory ‘Mass Response’.
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echo-bleu · 4 months
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End of the Year Fic Recs
thank you @thescrapwitch and @sallysavestheday for tagging me!
This is a wonderful game, I love reccing fics and I should do it more. I'll keep it all Silmarillion for the recs, since that's the bulk of what I've read this year. I haven't had the spoon to leave proper comments on some of these, so hopefully reccing them can count too?
Recommend up to 5 series or multi-chapter fics from 2023 that everyone should read (multi-year WIPs count, if the last update was in 2023).
- The Harrowing by @chthonion. I am forever in awe of this whole series and of Chthonion's writing. Somehow every single sentence is relatable and at least half of them are a punch in the gut, but in a healing way. A delightful Frodo, Celebrimbor and Finrod working through their trauma and Annatar, remade as an elf, learning how to be a good person (and a person at all, really).
- we will make this place our home by @leucisticpuffin. Truly delightful 70s AU as narrated by 8 year old Elrond, who just makes my heart melt in every chapter. Maedhros and Maglor as traumatized foster parents doing their best, the twins with their antics and their fears and joys, it's such a breath of fresh air and I can't get enough of it.
- Hanged Man by @tethysresort. Second age fic about the fall of Eregion and the start of Imladris with so much interesting worldbuilding and plot, and characterization of Elrond and Glorfindel especially that I really loved.
- Everlasting Song by @amethysttribble. This is perhaps a little more niche, a crossover with A Song of Ice and Fire, but I'm not an ASOIAF fan at all and I have like two whole memories of the books and I'm still finding absolutely delightful. Top-notch characterization of the Fëanorians, and it really keeps you on your toes.
- Aurë entuluva by @theheirofashandfire. Just very recently caught up with it and I love it to bits! The time loop is all kinds of angsty and breathtaking, and I really love the world that is being constructed afterwards. Wonderful Russingon, and I'm also, especially, in love with her Curufin and Celegorm.
Recommend up to 5 single chapter fics/one-shots (long or short) from 2023 that everyone should read.
- Wayward Son by @thescrapwitch. Angst exactly like I like it. Fëanor and Maglor, and it will make you cry. @thescrapwitch writes Maglor just wonderfully and I really love this Fëanor that will do absolutely anything for his son.
- On the difference between hostages and sons by leodesic (and the rest of the series as well). Absolutely delightful Elrond and Elros, as seen by Gil-galad when they first come to his court. I love Elrond defying expectation, and this was such a wonderful read.
- the world to come by arriviste. Arda Remade, told through the shadows and the gaps of what's missing. It's eerie, and I love a well-written eerie fic that leaves you feeling a little off-balance. Wonderful reflection on the price of perfection.
- Sea-Bells and Sunlight by @actual-bill-potts. Finrod, Lúthien and Beren in Mandos. This broke my heart in the best way.
- in the breaking by @thelordofgifs. Short but terribly impactful study of Maedhros and Maglor before the end, one of the best I've read of them.
Recommend up to 5 fics NOT from 2023 that everyone should read (oldies but goodies).
- A Farewell to Arms by MorwenSteelsheen (LOTR, Farawyn). Such a wonderful characterization and development of Faramir and Éowyn's relationship in a slight canon divergence where Éowyn arrives in Gondor two years before the end of the war of the Ring.
- The Splintered Light by @thearrogantemu. The whole series. These Gifts That You Have Given Me (Silvergifting) is well-known in the fandom, I think, and I absolutely loved it, but the other fics set in the Fourth Age were among the first I read in this fandom that I just fell straight in love with.
- The Host of the West by @mynameisjessejk. Various fics of the Otter Mayhem and Otterless Mayhem series could have gone into every category here because I love them all, but this is the one I chose because I reread it yesterday for the fourth (fifth?) time and it still had me bawling my eyes out. Probably my favourite Finrod, and definitely an inspiration for my own writing. The whole series is about healing and redemption and elf therapy and all of it is delightful.
- The Peril (and Potential) of Unleashing Lightning in a Fishbowl by @dawnfelagund. This one took everything I thought I knew about Caranthir, threw it out the window and gave me a truly brilliant characterization I didn't know I needed in my life. The worldbuilding is also delightful, and so is Amarië.
- Aranya by SpaceWall. I read this recently and it's really staying with me. Some people in my asks have expressed interest in fics that take the Valar to account for their mistakes, and this is a wonderful one. With a bonus revolution. I really love the non-linear storytelling as well, a hard-to-use tool that is done wonderfully here. Plus the title is inspired.
Recommend up to 5 of your own fics (completed or WIP) from 2023 that everyone should read.
- your veins are empty of dust. Character study of Nerdanel as feels her family die across the sea, and she sculpts. This is also the fic for which I made the art I'm probably the proudest of to date.
- your smile tells me I'm safe. Modern AU with aro Maedhros and a Russingon QPR.
- silver. Míriel, Celegorm and Celebrimbor, and living with chronic illness.
- the light that you keep burning there. Part of a much larger AU where the second and third kinslayings don't happen, but this one is about Maedhros, Maglor and Fingon in the later years, as the world crumbles, trying to remember what (who) they're fighting for.
- if I am to braid my mystic crown. The Silmarillion retold through worldbuilding headcanons about braids.
Tagging @unforth @foodsies4me @wren-of-the-woods @camille-lachenille (I don't know who has already done it, so feel free to send me a link if you have!)
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stxneflxwers · 3 months
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all's fair in love & war.
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⋯⁂ Summary: You are the God of War—Zhongli is the Warrior God. You are known for your bloodlust and savagery, but some things go unexpected and unplanned when you cross him.
⋯⁂ a/n: !! tags will be subject to change and updates as i post more chapters !! chapter 1 is here yahoo!!
⋯⁂ w.c: ~1k
⋯⁂ characters: zhongli/morax. gn reader (god name is kimaris.)
⋯⁂ cw: archon war and its side dishes (violence, blood, etc.); identity crises, memory loss/amnesia, minor display of suicidal ideation (for reader);
Prelude.
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I — Lullaby for the Wicked.
Another century passes.
As it always does.
The war rages on, too.
And even your amnesia remains the same. It’s like nothing has changed, leaving an empty pit in your stomach - waiting for your heart to fall in once its thinning thread snaps. And that growing pit is endless… Like an ever-dilating universe, its expanses reach far and wide - a growing monstrosity.
You run into an unfamiliar face today on the battlefield - one known far and wide as the "Warrior God." Or more simply…Morax. You know it's him, you've heard tell of his feats and ways of life. He'll certainly go down in history - in a good or bad manner matters not to you.
You were designed to kill…
So, why can't you lift your blade against him - even as he takes slow, calculated steps toward you?
Perhaps this is your day of freedom from this curse of everlasting bloodlust…
So, when he points his spear in your direction as he stalks toward you—
"Do it - kill me."
His eyes blink wide for a split moment and he halts in his tracks, the tip of his polearm mere centimeters away from your exposed neck.
"Kimaris, you are the God of War, are you not?" He retorts, double-checking to make sure he has the right person.
"If that's what they call me now - then, yes. I suppose that's me." You sigh; your eyes lull, staring down at the ground as your knees begin to shake and buckle inward.
You're suddenly sleepy…
So unbearably tired.
The wind sighs, coolness washing over you as your eyes finally flutter open. How long has it been? Or perhaps this is the afterlife you've longed for…? No, it couldn't possibly be that. You know in your second nature that you wouldn't die so easily. A God of War that dies is hardly a god at all, you think.
When your senses kick in - you notice the fresh scent of mountains and flowers, the blunted sunlight on whatever exposed skin, and the sight of—
Oh, it's Morax.
He's sitting on a rock a little ways from you, his side faces you - leaving you to take in his features. He holds a square cup where steam rises from it and he stares out at the horizon, watching the sun rise to the occasion that is daytime. His face is neutral, but there's something oddly serene about how his elbows rest on his knees, allowing him to hunch over his stony cup. He looks as relaxed as you feel.
You almost doze off again amidst the picturesque scene around you.
And then you notice one final detail - a square cup settled right next to your resting body.
You easily piece this together as something he made for you.
Now… Only if you could remember how you got here. You don't smell or feel any blood on you, and with a sharp glance at your body, you still don't see any blood. You sigh, your breath carried away with the breeze. You figure you should thank him…once you get the energy to speak.
For now…
You pull yourself upright, crossing your legs underneath each other - with all the fatigue that riddles your body, you slouch. Your scarred hand reaches out to the cup - you take immediate notice of how badly you tremble. The quaking isn't only in your hand but throughout your whole being. You ignore it and pick up the cup to the best of your ability - only to accidentally drop it onto the ground, leaving all the hot green tea inside to spill out onto the grass.
You whimper.
And then you break out into a silent sob.
With the single sniffle that comes from you, Morax is perking up and staring at you. He takes the last sip of his ginger and qingxin tea before allowing the cup to dissipate into little sparkles of golden light. He rises to his full height and takes a few steps over to you; when he arrives in front of you, he takes a knee to meet your face.
"…Do not cry over spilled tea." He says softly - softer than a bird's stray feather.
You hardly even register his newfound presence - your mind tuning out the beautiful world around you as you whimper and weep. Whatever has been stressing you out, even in your sleep, is vast and heavy, he figures. He knew this would be the case once you stayed asleep for over a week. When two weeks came and went, he grew more concerned. And this whole time he has kept you here on this isolated mountaintop, where he knew you could sleep without disturbance.
All things considered, he believes he made a good decision.
After much crying, you gradually come back down to earth. With a sniffle and then a deep sigh, you finally relax and allow your senses to pick up on your surroundings - including Morax's curious eyes that glue to you.
"Kimaris—" He begins, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed.
"Don't call me that." You whimper, but there's venom in your words.
"Forgive my imprudent question, but…why?" He asks carefully, his slow and soft words walking on eggshells. "I'm not going to call you 'God of War' every time I need your attention." He reasons with the same level of delicacy.
"I don't know where the name came from… It feels like it was imposed on me." You mutter, wrapping your arms around yourself in a hug-like gesture.
"You…don't know. Alright…" He nods, not pushing the topic further. "Well, if there is anything you would like to be called by, do tell me—"
You cut him off to tell him the name you're comfortable with, but something that no one has ever called you by.
He repeats your name a couple of times, his voice carried away on the wind, "Alright. I will use that name instead." He nods, his face still stern as stone - but somehow softer than before. "And for the time being…" He trails off, staring out at the horizon that shimmers with the dawning sun.
"Welcome to the home of the Adepti."
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sweetkpopmusings · 5 months
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stray kids as nephilim <3
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a/n: my roommate and i discussed this briefly and they wanted me to write blurbs so here we are ! i won't lie; this got me in my feels, so i hope it brings you comfort <33 pics not mine~
content: nephilim!straykids, supernatural au | wc: 0.6k | warnings: none really! | pairing: stray kids x gn!reader | requests: open
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
chan♡‧₊˚
the crackling of a bonfire, moss growing over forgotten rubble, a promise that’s kept
chan, though sometimes haunted by the turmoil of being an in-between being, loves nothing more than to use his powers to heal wounds. he sees beauty in once-broken things, and, when you meet him, you feel all your scars melt together into a beautiful masterpiece. when he looks at you, it’s as though you’ve stepped into fresh sunlight after being trapped in the cold.
minho♡‧₊˚
lightning in a summer storm, the smell of fresh tea leaves, finally getting what you need 
minho believes the best way to use his strength is to protect any and all creatures–humans included–from physical and emotional harm. when you meet him, your fear is replaced with only gratitude because the protector you once waited for is now by your side. when minho looks at you, the world seems renewed, like a forest after a fire.
changbin♡‧₊˚
flowers picked for someone special, handwritten notes, an “i love you” that warms your chest
changbin promised himself that his strength–physical and metaphysical–would only be used to uplift the world. in particular, he loved sending people signs that things were going to be okay. when you meet him, serenity cascades over you, everything falling into place. when changbin looks at you, you smile, knowing with certainty that joy is everlasting. 
hyunjin♡‧₊˚
the smell of the ocean, incense burning in a crystal shop, a gaze that reveals everything
hyunjin finds beauty everywhere, particularly in people. his heart aches knowing that everyone must hurt at one point or another, so he uses his powers to give art to those who are sad, lonely, and in pain. when you meet hyunjin, he hands you a watercolor, images flowing out of the page and enveloping your body in a comforting embrace. when he looks at you, you understand what it is like to be deeply and truly seen.
jisung♡‧₊˚
music playing in the distance, dewdrops in sunlight, hearing what you need to hear
jisung, as a writer by nature, is often up late into the night. he knows just how important safe escapism is, and he uses his abilities to ensure people have good, restorative dreams. when you first meet jisung, he promises to take away the stress of your day by returning you to a favorite imaginary land from childhood. when he looks at you, your shoulders relax because it finally all makes sense.  
felix♡‧₊˚
sunlight breaking through the trees, soft footsteps down familiar paths, a truth you can bear 
felix knows how much it hurts to be stranded and alone, so he channels in power into searching for lost animals and returning them to the warmth and belonging of their homes. when you meet him, he’s cradling a lost kitten in his arms, cooing so softly that your heart feels more soothed than you ever thought possible. when felix looks at you, it feels like a promise to find each other again and again and again. 
seungmin♡‧₊˚
laughter that lingers in your memory, autumn leaves falling, finding your safe space
seungmin finds the fun in every situation, and he thinks the best way to help others with his powers is to create pockets of joy in what can be such a dark world. when you meet seungmin, the sound of his laughter reverbing off your own makes the whole world fade away. when he looks at you, you know with certainty that happiness is around every corner, waiting for you.
jeongin♡‧₊˚
catching your breath after a long run, the comfort of a worn-in jacket, a heartfelt “thank you” 
jeongin spends his free time creating beautiful scenery to encourage people to slow down, breathe, and appreciate what life has to offer. when you meet him, you’re both wandering around a garden–his favorite–and you watch with wonder as a butterfly lands on his outstretched hand. when jeongin looks at you, your imagination runs wild, a swarm of butterflies filling your stomach with the endless possibilities he offers you.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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her-penetrating-soul · 5 months
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🤍 ‿I know I'll always miss you like the constellations miss their twinkling stars illuminating their path. For it's in you that I have found myself. I can glimmer from within. You see me for who I am. You swept me off my feet. I surrendered all of me to all of who you are. Your beautiful ridges of your masculinity have left in in ah. Whenever I catch myself gazing upon you, I feel myself trembling from deep within my crevices. I feel a sense of urge to plunge into you waves. I long to feel the strength of your hands upon me. I yearn for your body to hover over me. I finally understand what it's like to surrender yourself. To subdued myself into you. To willing submit to you. The way your hands guide me when we're together. You set my body on fire. My curves move to your body. My hands roam upon your skin. It's you that has captivated all of me by your tenderness yet passionate deminer. Their is something about you that lures me into you. Being around you takes my breath away. For whenever you're near, it's as I'm render into your gaze. I'm speechless. it's as I'm drunk. You're everything to me. My own personal dose of wine flows through my veins. I can't be without you. You're my everlasting bliss. I can't function without you in my life. I need you like the sunlight needs her darkness. I need you like the stars need their moonlight skies. I need you like a blanket. I need your lips to nourish my hungry thirst for you. I simply need you, my darling horizon. You alone are my sanctuary. Only you. Only love.⁀🤍
Written: December 10th, 2023
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