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faintingheroine · 3 years

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A Little Princess - Chapter 3

“On that first morning, when Sara sat at Miss Minchin's side, aware that the whole schoolroom was devoting itself to observing her, she had noticed very soon one little girl, about her own age, who looked at her very hard with a pair of light, rather dull, blue eyes. She was a fat child who did not look as if she were in the least clever, but she had a good-naturedly pouting mouth.”

Why is fatness always associated with not being clever in children’s books? The only exception I am familiar with is Piggy from Lord of the Flies.

And of course we see here something we see a lot in older children’s novels. Someone’s character being obvious from the face they make or their features.

“Upon which Miss St. John gave another jump, and when Lavinia and Jessie tittered she became redder than ever—so red, indeed, that she almost looked as if tears were coming into her poor, dull, childish eyes; and Sara saw her and was so sorry for her that she began rather to like her and want to be her friend. It was a way of hers always to want to spring into any fray in which someone was made uncomfortable or unhappy.

"If Sara had been a boy and lived a few centuries ago," her father used to say, "she would have gone about the country with her sword drawn, rescuing and defending everyone in distress. She always wants to fight when she sees people in trouble."”

And here we have the first instance of Sara being a truly idealized character. So far she has only been odd and intelligent and unnecessarily polite which only added to her weirdness. But starting with this instance she is portrayed as a fairly heroic idealized character, I will admit to that. But I am not too troubled with this, because she is still an original character with a particular personality and not the cardboard cutout of how the author thinks little girls should behave.

“So she took rather a fancy to fat, slow, little Miss St. John, and kept glancing toward her through the morning. She saw that lessons were no easy matter to her, and that there was no danger of her ever being spoiled by being treated as a show pupil. Her French lesson was a pathetic thing. Her pronunciation made even Monsieur Dufarge smile in spite of himself, and Lavinia and Jessie and the more fortunate girls either giggled or looked at her in wondering disdain. But Sara did not laugh. She tried to look as if she did not hear when Miss St. John called "le bon pain," "lee bong pang." She had a fine, hot little temper of her own, and it made her feel rather savage when she heard the titters and saw the poor, stupid, distressed child's face.

"It isn't funny, really," she said between her teeth, as she bent over her book. "They ought not to laugh."”

The book, having been published in 1905, hits you over the head with how “stupid” Ermengarde is. I remembered her as exceptionally stupid, though this might have something to do with her later naïveté in not understanding Sara’s new condition. Based on this chapter alone, she isn’t “stupid”, she is just a seven-year-old who is not particularly academically talented and has anxiety because of the expectations of her father.

We again see Sara’s heroic streak.

“When lessons were over and the pupils gathered together in groups to talk, Sara looked for Miss St. John, and finding her bundled rather disconsolately in a window-seat, she walked over to her and spoke. She only said the kind of thing little girls always say to each other by way of beginning an acquaintance, but there was something friendly about Sara, and people always felt it.

"What is your name?" she said.”

I really like how randomly children can become friends.

How friendly Sara is is something that is always recognized by others. Is this the same Sara that thought she didn’t care much for other little girls and was only interested in her books in Chapter 1? Perhaps by “friendliness”, it means “goodness” and “kindness”, after all in this chapter Sara befriends Ermengarde partially because she pities her, not really because she is desperate for a friend.

“To explain Miss St. John's amazement one must recall that a new pupil is, for a short time, a somewhat uncertain thing; and of this new pupil the entire school had talked the night before until it fell asleep quite exhausted by excitement and contradictory stories. A new pupil with a carriage and a pony and a maid, and a voyage from India to discuss, was not an ordinary acquaintance.”

Sara being defined by her riches is important, because the story is about whether she can stay polite and a “princess” when she loses all of it.

“"My name's Ermengarde St. John," she answered.

"Mine is Sara Crewe," said Sara. "Yours is very pretty. It sounds like a story book."

"Do you like it?" fluttered Ermengarde. "I—I like yours."

Miss St. John's chief trouble in life was that she had a clever father. Sometimes this seemed to her a dreadful calamity. If you have a father who knows everything, who speaks seven or eight languages, and has thousands of volumes which he has apparently learned by heart, he frequently expects you to be familiar with the contents of your lesson books at least; and it is not improbable that he will feel you ought to be able to remember a few incidents of history and to write a French exercise. Ermengarde was a severe trial to Mr. St. John. He could not understand how a child of his could be a notably and unmistakably dull creature who never shone in anything.

"Good heavens!" he had said more than once, as he stared at her, "there are times when I think she is as stupid as her Aunt Eliza!"

If her Aunt Eliza had been slow to learn and quick to forget a thing entirely when she had learned it, Ermengarde was strikingly like her. She was the monumental dunce of the school, and it could not be denied.

"She must be MADE to learn," her father said to Miss Minchin.”

Ermengarde’s father is well characterized. He is an intellectual who picked a pretentious ancient Germanic name for his daughter; one which the similarly bookish Sara is charmed by. He is openly insulting to his daughter and his sister/sister-in-law. His high hopes for his daughter and insisting her to be what she isn’t probably contributes to Ermengarde’s anxiety in the classroom. She is seven years old and he is already disappointed in her. He is a jerk.

“"You can speak French, can't you?" she said respectfully.

Sara got on to the window-seat, which was a big, deep one, and, tucking up her feet, sat with her hands clasped round her knees.

"I can speak it because I have heard it all my life," she answered. "You could speak it if you had always heard it."

"Oh, no, I couldn't," said Ermengarde. "I NEVER could speak it!"

"Why?" inquired Sara, curiously.”

I like that Sara knows French so well not because she is a super-genius but because she was raised bilingual.

(Sara is talking about why she was given her own sitting room). “”Yes," Sara answered. "Papa asked Miss Minchin to let me have one, because—well, it was because when I play I make up stories and tell them to myself, and I don't like people to hear me. It spoils it if I think people listen."”

I relate to Sara here.

"Oh, she got back to her seat before we could see her!" Sara explained. "Of course they always do. They are as quick as lightning."

Ermengarde looked from her to the doll and back again.

"Can she—walk?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes," answered Sara. "At least I believe she can. At least I PRETEND I believe she can. And that makes it seem as if it were true. Have you never pretended things?"

"No," said Ermengarde. "Never. I—tell me about it."”

Ermengarde is amazed by what Sara is doing, but what she is doing is an ability which is on some level common to all children and which we unfortunately mostly lose as we grow up: That is the ability to play pretend knowing that it is pretend and still get absorbed in it without needing to tell anyone about it. Actually on some level Sara is less childish about her game of pretend than most children are, she clearly feels the need to tell others about it as if she is a storyteller rather than a little girl simply playing, and she actually is a storyteller. Her daydreams and games aren’t simply left as just that, they are also recounted.

“She was so bewitched by this odd, new companion that she actually stared at Sara instead of at Emily—notwithstanding that Emily was the most attractive doll person she had ever seen.”

I have lost the count of how many times Sara is described as “odd” or “queer”.

I like that Ermengarde calls Emily “doll person”.

“Sara sat upon the hearth-rug and told her strange things. She sat rather huddled up, and her green eyes shone and her cheeks flushed. She told stories of the voyage, and stories of India; but what fascinated Ermengarde the most was her fancy about the dolls who walked and talked, and who could do anything they chose when the human beings were out of the room, but who must keep their powers a secret and so flew back to their places "like lightning" when people returned to the room.”

Ermengarde is fascinated because she didn’t grow up with Toy Story.

(Sara and Ermengarde are talking about Sara’s father and how she misses him) “I love mine more than all the world ten times over," Sara said. "That is what my pain is. He has gone away."

She put her head quietly down on her little, huddled-up knees, and sat very still for a few minutes.

"She's going to cry out loud," thought Ermengarde, fearfully.

But she did not. Her short, black locks tumbled about her ears, and she sat still. Then she spoke without lifting her head.

"I promised him I would bear it," she said. "And I will. You have to bear things. Think what soldiers bear! Papa is a soldier. If there was a war he would have to bear marching and thirstiness and, perhaps, deep wounds. And he would never say a word—not one word."

This is clearly foreshadowing of how Sara will behave when faced with serious hardship.

“Presently, she lifted her face and shook back her black locks, with a queer little smile.

"If I go on talking and talking," she said, "and telling you things about pretending, I shall bear it better. You don't forget, but you bear it better."

This again foreshows how Sara will survive through the novel.

“Ermengarde did not know why a lump came into her throat and her eyes felt as if tears were in them.

"Lavinia and Jessie are 'best friends,'" she said rather huskily. "I wish we could be 'best friends.' Would you have me for yours? You're clever, and I'm the stupidest child in the school, but I—oh, I do so like you!"

"I'm glad of that," said Sara. "It makes you thankful when you are liked. Yes. We will be friends. And I'll tell you what"—a sudden gleam lighting her face—"I can help you with your French lessons."”

I love how as children you can be frank about wanting to be someone’s best friend.

*This book is too fun to make it into homework so I am not going to continue with these chapter by chapter posts. I will write a post about it if I have anything particular to say, but I am not going to do separate posts on chapters. I will definitely write a retrospective and my final thoughts when I finish the audiobook though.

#a little princess #a little princess reread

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spencersawkward · 3 years

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switchblade faith//spencer reid - chapter 6

summary: one month after joining the BAU, Clea is still settling in. between solving murders and getting acclimated to DC, the only comfortable thing in her life is her friendship with Dr. Spencer Reid.

relationship: Fem!OC/Spencer

content warnings: discussion of mental illness (schizophrenia)

word count: 4.4k

masterlist

the thing about growing up in a place where there are so many dinosaur fossils is that you start to search for them everywhere. my friends and I, in elementary school, saw the enormous bones, those huge sockets where eyes used to sit. and even though there was nothing in them now, they seemed to glare back at us. if you stood right in front, face-to-face, it felt like looking down the barrel of a gun. a several-ton, reptilian gun. petrifying.

and it wasn't like there was much to do in Montana, anyway. sometimes the sheer expanse of that place, especially if we drove a bit out of town, was enough to put fear in me. like we'd been abandoned there.

when my mom got her migraines, I dug holes in the front yard. occasionally, I'd find something-- a funnily-shaped rock, usually-- and it would look enough like a dinosaur tooth that for a moment I'd deceive myself into thinking that I'd made a discovery. it didn't matter that actual remnants would be buried much, much further in the ground than I could turn with my small hands. but I liked the slight rush it sent through my body, seeing what other people hadn't. sitting back on my heels and brushing off the excess, the only thing I could hear was my breath. there's something quite serene about that, the focusing in on something which normally I would never think about. my heart pounding. and I collected my findings so that I would be able to put them together again when there were enough pieces.

but this doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, particularly not when I'm short on time and staring at an upsettingly pathetic evidence board.

"the unsub said we needed a book, didn't he?" Spencer brings me to attention. there's an unfolded paper on the board that Hotch's wife dropped off an hour ago. he's talking to her in his office about who delivered it; we don't know anything else. all it has is a bunch of numbers written in neat black ink.

"yep." I bite the end of my pen and frown. "one that 'inspired many an adventure.'"

"then it's a book code," Reid says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I arch an eyebrow and he continues. "each one of these sets of numbers represents a specific word. page 118, line 30, word 3." he points one long finger at a certain spot, and I follow it.

"so we just need to figure out what the words are and fill in the blanks," I lean forward in my chair, cradling a cup of coffee that's starting to grow cold. "except what book are we looking for?"

"I don't know," he shrugs. I lean back in my seat; if Reid doesn't know, we're all screwed. "the thing is that it has to be the exact same edition of the exact same book."

"that's encouraging." I sigh. the useless feeling puts me in a bad mood. we're wasting time by sitting and learning nothing. although there's nowhere to go.

I'm not sure how long we're there; hours, at least. night becomes less heavy, hues of a purplish pink sky slotting through the blinds and reminding me of just how exhausted I am. not enough to sleep. bone-tired.

Spencer crosses his arms, leans his chin on his fist and stares at the numbers like they'll suddenly make sense. and maybe they will; I don't know how his head works. some miracle that has eluded us for the past few hours might appear now. but the longer I stare, the more confused I get. instead, I start to sift through the pile of other evidence pieces scattered around the table. we could be missing something.

"you know, I can understand how this guy got our addresses and phone numbers, but there's no way all that information about JJ's butterfly obsession or Rossi's trips to baseball games would be in our personnel files." I frown. those things wouldn't be relevant.

Spencer isn't even listening to me, though. he's muttering to himself, eyes flickering over the floor.

"'never would it be night, but always clear day to any man's sight,'" he says it more loudly, then finally focuses on me. "it sounds familiar-- I think I've heard it somewhere before."

I also get the feeling that I've heard it before, except it keeps slipping my memory. a lot of rhyming poetry leaves my mind after I finish reading it, and I don't want to lead us in the wrong direction, either. he uncaps a dry erase marker and hurries over to the white board, writing "Possible Book Titles" in messy scrawl, staring at it. I watch him for a moment, the way he talks to himself as he works through his thoughts, certain words floating in the air.

"how many books do you think are published every year?" I ask. maybe if we can narrow that down, we can get a better perspective on how to proceed. Spencer doesn't even look up.

"thousands. easily." he sighs dejectedly. and then his head snaps up. "year... every year."

he spins and starts to push all the evidence bags aside on the table, scrambling to grab something. I don't know what to say about his fervent behavior. I'm speechless when he finds the baseball card. he shoves it in my face. "1963."

"what about it?" I take the card.

"if the book has to be the right volume and the right publication date, why is this from 1963?"

his eyes are enormous. wide pupils that urge me to catch onto his line of thought. for a moment, I have no idea what he's talking about. my eyes run over the baseball card for what feels like the millionth time, examining the date. I slam the thing down on the table and we look at each other.

"Rossi said 1959." I say. he nods.

"so the book must be from 1963, or it wouldn't fit the pattern," Reid straightens and runs his hands through his hair, his spine finally straightening as he takes a deep breath. I can practically sense the electric current that radiates from his body while he thinks. "I'm gonna go ask Garcia about something."

he's gone before I have a chance to respond.

...

the rest of the day gets really weird really fast. as all of us are focused on finding the unsub, I fall into a daze. I don't eat, don't drink anything other than tankards of coffee while my eyes start to burn from looking at the board.

we've finished talking on the phone to a librarian at some facility in Virginia, where the exact edition of the book we've been seeking is housed. it took about half an hour for us to go through each blank in the code with her. somehow, that prompted Spencer to think of his mom, so he called her and requested she be flown out here from Las Vegas immediately. the whole time he's on the phone, he rocks back and forth on his heels and keeps glancing at me.

I pretend to be focused on the pile of evidence, not wanting to intrude. he already told me about his mom, and I'm assuming this has something to do with her being a professor of medieval literature. it's not really my place to question it.

when he hangs up, he doesn't say anything to me. there's quite literally nothing else for us to do. I clear my throat, lick my lips, and sit a bit straighter. he's still standing with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"um," I wrack my mind for anything that would take our minds off the waiting. "do you wanna play cards?"

Spencer tries to smile. it looks more like a wince as he nods. with Prentiss and Morgan talking to the guy who delivered the code papers and Hotch and Rossi on their way to interview the parents of the missing girl (whose name is Rebecca Bryant, apparently), we're kind of aimless.

I head to the bullpen to grab my favorite deck, then return and close the door behind me. there are plenty of other employees out there bustling around, and the noise probably won't help his anxiety. he's sitting in the chair next to where I was, leaning his elbow against the table while he presses his knuckles to his temple. he looks incredibly pensive.

"here." I plop down next to him.

"thanks."

"mhmm." instead of starting a conversation, I just shuffle the deck. the only sounds are the flutter of paper against paper and the slap of the cards on the table's surface. his eyes follow the movements of my hands, the way I bend and mix them up, before eventually dealing them out.

it should be awkward, but it's not. the weight of his thoughts fills enough of the space for the both of us; I can practically hear him running through scenarios in his mind, ever.

we start to play for a couple minutes in silence, and I'm in shock when he's the one who initiates a game of war. all I do is smile to myself as the pile in the middle of the table begins. we get caught up in it; both of us are tense, and he finally slaps his hand down on the pile before I do. my hand is covering his, evidence of my defeat.

"hey!" he cheers, looking up at me with a surprised grin and dragging the pile towards him. I narrow my eyes.

"I was distracted." I roll my eyes.

"yeah?" he starts to laugh as he sets forth another card. "by what? how I'm crushing you?"

"you get one hand and suddenly you're the master, now, huh?" I can't help but giggle. he nods and smiles like, yeah, pretty much. I scoff and we continue to play. halfway through the next round, he speaks up.

"I forgot she always used to read me that poem."

"what poem?" I frown.

"The Parliament of Fowls-- it's how we figured out the book title."

the name slides into place for me at last. I must have read it in college or something, because it didn't leave that big of an imprint on my memory.

"Chaucer?" I raise an eyebrow. his head startles up from staring at the table.

"yeah." he smiles a little.

"I'm not entirely stupid." I wink before setting down another card. he makes a noncommittal noise.

he seems to get uncomfortable, shifting, then gives up on his previous train of thought. "it's kind of funny, isn't it?"

I just give him an inquisitive look.

"I should have realized sooner. nobody knows things like the fact that JJ collected butterflies except for me." he isn't looking at me, but I notice that he does seem more relaxed than before. his shoulders aren't so hunched over, and there's even a hint of a thoughtful smile on his face.

"that's sweet." I reply softly.

"people tell me their secrets all the time," he stops putting out cards. I stop, too, although he doesn't even notice that we're no longer playing the game. his back is reclined in the chair. "I think it's because they know I don't have anyone to betray them to."

my heart sinks in my chest at the implication. his tone is a bit melancholy, but there's something else in it, too, that I can't quite place. like a resigned loneliness. I want to say something, though I'm not sure what. and I don't think it would make a difference anyway. he continues on before I have to, thankfully.

"except my mom. I tell her... pretty much everything." he looks up at me when he says the last part, smiling. his eyes sparkle, and something about the low tone of voice and the way he gives up all of this at once makes me think that Spencer hasn't spent much time telling his own secrets. only hearing others', storing them away.

"I don't think anyone would mind." I reply.

"you know, I write her a letter every day." his laugh is really lovely. my heart stutters.

"I think that's nice."

"well, it depends on why I write her."

"what do you mean?" this time I frown, my fingertips fidgeting with each other under the table. I hate that I'm nervous right now, worried that I'll somehow ruin the moment.

"I write her letters... so that I don't feel so guilty about not visiting her." each syllable like its own individual battle for him.

the admission is like a cement block between us, something ridiculously heavy that he has compressed and repressed until it's too solid to hide anymore. and he's avoiding contact when he says it, and the moments after. his fingertips mess around with a stray paper clip, twisting the thing into oblivion.

"did you know that schizophrenia is genetically passed?" he asks, then peeks up to gauge my reaction. schizophrenia.

"how long has she been diagnosed?" my own eyes are barely able to hold his. everything in my body wants to reach out and hug him, even though that would only ruin this. Spencer isn't a fan of physical touch.

"since before I was born," he shrugs, poking his palm with the end of the paper clip. "she was on meds but didn't get placed in Bennington until I was eighteen." this also seems to be bitter in his mouth. "you get used to it. it's just... I won't know for a while."

I nod. it likely won't manifest for a couple years with him, but that only puts a ticking clock over his head. and, judging by the way his body is sinking into the swivel chair, he senses it constantly. I wish I could tell him that he doesn't have it, that he won't have it, except I can't. there's no way for anyone to find out right now.

"I'm sorry, Spence." it's a weak thing to say-- stupid, really. I've never had a way with words. instead, I pour every ounce of my emotion into it. I don't want him to feel alone. I guess I'm sorry for that, too, along with everything else. nobody deserves to deal with that by themselves.

"it's okay," he smiles. "it is what it is, right?"

"I mean, I think it's a little more complicated than that. but yeah." wow, really fucking eloquent. he chuckles at this, though, brushing his fingers over the top of his deck of cards. he flips the top one over and we return to playing, leaving the conversation to lie open between us.

...

my body feels like it's been dragged through a corn field by the time we get back to the office. I think I'm still a little in shock, honestly. this whole day has been jam-packed with things, easily the most intense case I've had yet. my morning was occupied by a code-cracking book search, then a series of out-of-place card games with Reid, then his mother arrived and I left them to talk so as not to overwhelm her.

we rescued Rebecca Bryant-- Spencer did, I mean. it was chivalric, how he went into the house and tried to talk down her kidnapper (who happened to be her father). the guy blew himself up, and Morgan tells me that they barely got out of the way in time. I was on the main level with Hotch, trying to find Rebecca. again, Reid came to the rescue with that eidetic memory, recalling the puzzle pieces and a photograph that included an illuminated basement light. the key he received in the mail slipped into her shackles with ease, unlocking her before we carried her out onto the lawn and watched the house burn into an ash-covered shell of itself. I remember the way the smoke billowed into the air, how sparks fluttered out of the windows and dissipated into nothingness.

I stood there like a rock, Reid stumbling up next to me. his face was covered in a sheen of sweat, and his hair was curlier than usual. the heat must have ruined whatever he usually used to smooth it down.

"hey." I'd said, putting my hand on his shoulder as if to offer some kind of stability. he glanced at me with something like unease, then tried to straighten up.

"hi."

"I heard you were a hero in there."

"did Morgan say that?"

"yeah, why?" I laughed. Reid chuckled, shook his head slowly.

"he's teasing me."

"for what?" I frowned.

"pure irony. you know how he always calls me 'pretty boy' and stuff?"

"I sure do." my fist came up to softly slug him in the shoulder. Spencer stumbled a bit and my eyes went wide as I tried to right him before he fell. he made a face as he regained his footing and then I giggled. "you okay, there?"

"I'm fine." he tried to be annoyed, but he was hiding a smile.

"is Rebecca gonna be okay?" I nodded to the ambulance, where he had just spent the past couple minutes talking to the paramedics and checking her condition.

"she'll be okay-- physically, I mean."

"seriously," I watched them close the doors to the vehicle, closing her up inside before they sped off to the hospital. "two years in there."

he nodded and we started to walk to our cars to meet up with the team and head to the office. we both knew his mother was still at Quantico, probably anxiously awaiting his return after she helped him crack the case. but he didn't seem to want to talk about it, so I asked something else that was on my mind.

"do you ever go back and look at old cases?"

"old cases?" he stared at the ground beneath his feet, kicking up the gravel as a way to distract himself. I cleared my throat.

"like, ones that you guys have solved. have you ever gone back and checked to see how the victims are doing now?"

"I haven't worked here long enough for that, really." he had shrugged. I remember how the air felt in my lungs, a little bit poisoned by smoke. still breathable as I inhaled it deeply.

"really makes you think."

"what do you mean?"

"'saving' people has to be more than just sweeping them out of harm's way at the last second, right?" I put air-quotes around the word.

he thinks this over, nodding.

"sorry, I know you're tired." one look at him and I realized that the question I'd posed was one for another time. he walked like there was some unconscionable weight on his shoulders, like he didn't think he deserved his moment of glory for saving that girl's life-- and ours, probably, too.

he looks the same now, pushing the glass doors of the BAU open and immediately focusing in on the windows of the conference room, where the blinds have been lowered to make Diana feel safer. I watch as he runs up the stairs, returning to her as soon as possible.

I wonder what it is to love someone that much, that fear for their well-being that puts you on edge.

Emily places a hand on my shoulder.

"you okay?" she asks, draws my attention away from the closed door of the round table room. I smile and nod cheerfully.

"yep. just ready to go to bed."

"no kidding," she scoffs, slamming her go-bag on her desk. "I feel like I've been up for days."

"so it wasn't just me?" I laugh as I set my things in my own space. she shakes her head slowly and Morgan walks over, his own gait seemingly heavy with exhaustion.

"plans for tonight, ladies?" he jokes.

"with my couch and takeout." Emily replies. once my bag is all packed up, she and Morgan and I wander out of the office. Rossi stops us at the last minute, joining before we head into the hallway to take the elevator downstairs.

I peek once to see Hotch sitting in his office, settled in with the light on like he's been there all day. my brain almost short-circuits at the thought of doing more work in any capacity right now.

"does he ever sleep?" I ask quietly as though he can hear me from all the way over here. Rossi glances at the unit chief through the window, shaking his head slowly and letting out the kind of knowing chuckle that only older people have.

"nope."

"wait," Morgan sees our small grouping, almost does a head count as JJ emerges from her office and sidles up silently next to me while we wait for the steel doors to open. "where's the kid?"

"Spence is flying his mom back to Vegas." JJ replies right away. when I saw him disappear into that room, I knew they wouldn't leave for a while; moving her around so much can't be good for her mental state. but I guess they're eager to get her to the sanitarium, which also makes sense.

"oh, okay." Morgan shrugs. I chance a look in that direction. the blinds are still drawn. Medieval literature. huh. part of me begins to think about all the things she must know, must have passed down to Reid.

...

"I'm gonna say... three." my voice is uncertain at first, but then the flavor coats my tongue and I smack my lips. "yeah."

Spencer's nonresponse is damning. I hear the puff of air he exhales in frustration as I lift the sleeping mask up from my eyes. I got it from my go-bag; we've decided to repurpose it for the morning in the office. technically, we could just close our eyes and keep it simple, but I thought it would be sort of funny because there are two huge cartoon eyes printed on the front.

"I'm right, aren't I?" I smirk, eyes landing on his crossed arms and taut expression. he shrugs.

"I think you're cheating."

"how am I cheating?" I laugh.

"I don't know, but you are." he shakes his head as I wrap my fingers around the handle and take a sip of the coffee. we're taste-testing to see who's better at finding the sugar content. it's become a pattern of ours: I make him a cup and he makes me one and then we drop in the sugar packets while the other keeps their eyes covered. it's actually pretty fun, especially because I'm good at it.

"your turn, then." I take off the sleeping mask and hand it over to him. he slips the thing over his eyes and waits patiently for me to put the sugar packets in. I chew on my bottom lip as I decide what number to do.

as I do this, JJ stands behind my shoulder.

"nap time, Spence?" she asks him with a chuckle. I explain before he has the opportunity to slander me with more cheating accusations.

"we're trying to see how good we are at detecting the number of sugars." I pick up six packets, knowing it'll definitely overload his senses. this'll teach him to call me a liar. JJ's eyes widen.

"cover your ears, Reid, I don't want you to hear me tearing them open." I order. he obliges, and I can sense the frown on his face while I dump in the sweetener.

"okay." I mix it with the stirrer before placing it in front of him.

"this thing smells like lavender." he observes randomly in reference to my sleeping mask.

"it's got scented stuff inside the fabric." I say.

"interesting. did you know that lavender is actually proven to be much more effective than--"

"Spence, just drink the coffee. I have to go talk to Hotch about something and I wanna see how this ends." JJ cuts him off light-heartedly. I purse my lips because I was sort of interested in what he was going to say, but he takes the not-so-subtle hint and lifts the mug.

I expect him to be repulsed by the sweetness, or at least to show some kind of discomfort. however, he takes a long draw before setting it on the table. his hand clutches onto the mug, still, as he pulls the mask off.

"five. this is my usual concoction." he clenches his jaw in complete seriousness. I have to fight an enormous grin, though it just turns into me twisting my mouth to the side of my face and JJ raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"what? am I wrong?" he gets nervous, voice going up an octave as he glances between the two of us. JJ averts her eyes, smiling.

"you lose!" I cackle, throwing my hand up for JJ to high-five. Spencer looks at me like I've stolen his life's savings.

"no! there's no way--"

"I forgot how many you usually put in there and I still won." I feign an awed expression.

"it's okay, Spence. you can always practice." JJ pats his shoulder sympathetically and then leaves us, running up the stairs to Hotch's office. I'm still smirking triumphantly as he glares at me.

"don't hate the player," I sigh, throwing my hands up. "hate the game."

"well, the player also happened to invent the game, so I think I'm entitled." he counters. I snort at his quickness.

"can I try this?" I point to the mug. "I've never had one with six."

he pushes the drink in my direction with his fingertips, almost having given up on trying to fight the loss. "there were six? that's only one off."

"yeah, but you need to get it right to win, dummy." I take a sip of the coffee. it's so sweet, though, that I shake my head and set it back down. "what in God's name is that?"

"you made it!" I sort of like the way his voice gets higher-pitched when he's vehement about something. it's cute.

"I wish I hadn't." I shove it over to him, half-expect that he'll not touch it now that I've taken a drink from it. but he continues to take ingest the caffeine, undeterred. I quirk an eyebrow silently, watching him.

"what?" he asks.

"nothing," I stand up. "come on, we should get some work done. I don't want Hotch to come down here and yell at us."

#baby spence #baby spencer reid #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #fanfic #slow burn #friends to lovers

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yeonchi · 3 years

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Kisekae Insights #24: GJ Club - how a spinon became a spinoff featuring Kyōya and Kasumi Shinomiya

(Art by 結城辰也)

The Kisekae Insights series has allowed me to bring the spotlight back on Waifu Network animes that I haven’t posted much about in the past due to lack of fanart or lack of interest. Like Hidamari Sketch in the last instalment, GJ Club will be no exception until I continue posting the usual content in my anime posts. Honestly, it was good while it lasted.

While Hidamari Sketch is a fairly popular and notable anime, GJ Club, sadly, isn’t. The anime was adapted from the light novel series written by Shin Araki and it only received one 12-episode season in 2013 and an OVA in 2014. Since it is a slice-of-life series, not much is known about the characters’ histories, which made it very easy to adapt into my personal project. All these factors coinciding with it being the 50th anniversary year of Doctor Who made GJ Club the perfect anime to adapt and expand on.

Background information

For some reason, the light novel has been a bit hard to find. In short, while you are able to read it online, the sources are unfortunately scarce.

From 2013 to 2015, NanoDesu Translations posted translations of the light novel. They published a PDF and EPUB of the first volume (which is available on archive.org) and translated up to Chapter 17 of the second volume. It was then abandoned for two years before Haraguro Scanlations picked it up. As of September 2018, they only finished up to Chapter 3 of the third volume (with the first chapter being translated by Shadowys on Baka-Tsuki) and there are no further updates after that, with the exception of a one-off chapter released in November 2020.

As of August 2021, however, all the original translations by NanoDesu seem to have been deleted from their site. All the translations are available on AsiaNovel, but there are no illustrations because the reader doesn’t seem to support images. If the images weren’t discarded in the code of the novels, then all they would need to do is add support for them and then they would appear.

There are 9 volumes and two special volumes for GJ Club along with 8 volumes and a special volume for its middle school spinoff. It’s honestly telling how popular the series was when the translators have all but abandoned it.

Shin Araki also wrote an additional spinoff to GJ Club, namely GE: Good Eater, and a sequel, namely KB Club. GE is set in a fantasy world with the characters being based off the characters of GJ Club, while KB Club turns everything meta by having both series be the creations of a high school light novel club, with the characters of GJ Club being based off the members of said club, right down to their names. Honestly, I’m not a big fan of that approach given how I’ve adapted GJ Club into my personal project. In the end, I guess we’ll never really know what happens in the novels, but at least we have this.

Watching the anime and listening to the character music was how I first realised that anime was sexist to males because of the female-centric focus in most animes. Kyōya only gets one character song in the series, and even then it’s a duet with Megumi. If that isn’t sexist to you, then I don’t know how I can convince you that a lot of animes are sexist.

In January 2015, I published two posts outlining my idea for an English dub of the series that also fits with GJ Club’s depiction in my personal project. The setting would be changed to London, England, specifically the areas of Chiswick, Ealing and Acton (where their school is located) and the characters would speak with British accents. The images in the original post are dead because I idiotically copied the images from the site instead of saving and reuploading them to the post, but since I’m grubbing for content anyway, I’m going to repost my character details as follows:

Kyōya: The protagonist of the series. When he started Year 10, he was kidnapped by the girls when he walked into an old school building, hoping to find the Culture Club. He moved to London from Manchester just before he started Year 7. His best friend outside the club is someone named Tesshin Yokomizo (横溝徹心) who is a local and not seen in the anime. In the GJ Club, he is nicknamed “Kyoro” and despite his spinelessness, he seems to have talent in dealing with the girls around him. His birthday is December 18. Due to a crisis involving his family during his childhood, he and his sister Kasumi were left in the care of a family guardian just before they moved to London, but she left when Kyōya started Year 10. It might have been that childhood incident that emotionally scarred him and left him spineless…

Mao: The Year 11 president of the GJ Club. Her family is rich and they live in a mansion in Ealing. She has a habit of biting and picking on Kyōya when she is bored or angry. She always reads books and watches shows without kissing scenes.

Shion: The only daughter in her family, Shion is an expert chess player with many brothers, all experts in some kind of activity. She speaks in a Birmingham (Brummie) accent because her mother and a few of her brothers were born in Birmingham. It is unknown if Shion was born in Birmingham herself.

Megumi: The calm and nice middle sister of the Amatsuka family. She likes knitting and she is always seen making tea and cakes in the club room. In the same year level as Kyōya.

Kirara: Born in Swansea, Wales, Kirara is the tallest and strongest member of the club. She speaks English in simple, monotone sentences. Welsh is her first language. Kirara can be seen eating meat, sometimes sharing it with Kyōya, but not with anyone else. She is afraid of spiders and has little tolerance to alcohol.

Tamaki: (voiced by Karen Gillan!) The newest member of the GJ Club when Kyōya becomes a Year 11 student. Like Kyōya, she is kidnapped and forced to join the club. Her nickname is “Tama”. Her family is from Glasgow and they run a Shinto shrine in Acton. She has several younger siblings.

Kasumi: Kyōya’s younger sister, who was born in Manchester. After a visit to the GJ Club, she becomes inspired to start a middle school division when she starts Year 7. She has a brother complex and she mistook Mao for being a primary school student when she met her. Her proficiency in Welsh is better than her brother’s, who can probably speak at a beginner level.

Geraldine: Shortened to “Jill”. She moved to Chiswick from Swansea to be with her sister, Kirara. She first met Kyōya at Ealing Broadway Station when she had difficulty buying a Tube ticket. She didn’t really understand how to use the ticket machine, so Kyōya went to help her. After this, Jill considered Kyōya her “samurai master”. Jill doesn’t speak English fluently, so she relies on her whiteboard to communicate with the others. She is as strong as her sister and she joins Kasumi’s GJ Club when she starts Year 7 in Chiswick.

Seira: The youngest sister of the Amatsuka family. Though she speaks in a typical London accent, she sometimes talks through her cat clip in Received Pronunciation (the Queen’s English/RP) using ventriloquism to state her true feelings to Kyōya, who she has a grudge against.

Mori: The maid of the Amatsuka family. She likes to ride a motorcycle. A running gag is her twirling before Kyōya much to his pleasure and annoyance to the rest of the club members. Sometimes, her mother takes her place without the family even noticing due to their identical appearance.

Kyōya, Kasumi and Momoka: The Brother, the Child and the Yandere

Normally in previous instalments, I would have described each character separately, but because their backstories are heavily intertwined, I will introduce them all at once in this section. Most of the backstory takes place around the Battle of Koshi Castle in December 2013 and during the Manchester Campaign of 2005-2013, which I have already covered in #15.

When Hiroki Ichigo’s twelfth incarnation was killed at Koshi Castle, he managed to escape in his TARDIS, where he regenerated into his new prototype, namely a four-year-old Kyōya. The TARDIS crashes outside North Manchester General Hospital on 11 December 2005.

Earlier, Hiroki and Akari’s gametes (along with those of Hiroki’s brothers and their families) were taken by Reona Yukawa and placed in the Progenitor so that they could breed super-soldiers out of them. When Takumi Kamijō and Kyōko Sakura manage to escape from their cells (saving Nodoka Manabe and Azusa Nakano in the process), he changes the destination of the baby about to be released into the Progenitor’s time portal. That baby was Kasumi, one of the super-soldiers grown from Hiroki and Akari’s DNA. She ended up at the same hospital as well and was about to be taken home by a couple when Girl Power killed them, resulting in Kasumi being taken by Akari and Shaun.

What remained of Hiroki was contacted by the spirit of Walpurgisnacht. Making a deal with her, Hiroki regenerated into his thirteenth incarnation, the female Momoka Mizutani. No, Momoka is not an OC for GJ Club, but she is based on the character of Apple Lam Chung-yan from the TVB drama A Great Way to Care II, played by Tavia Yeung. Momoka takes Hiroki’s TARDIS and heads to Salford, where with the help of Walpurgisnacht, she establishes a cha chaan teng café in the middle of a trading estate and hires a group of red drone Daleks as her workers, hiding their identities by having them disguise themselves as humans.

Over the next eight years, Momoka gets close to the new Shinomiya family by influencing them through Kyōya’s dreams to come to her café. Eight years later, on 11 December 2013, the Fourth and Fifth Doctors come in with their companions. When the Shinomiya family come in, a confrontation with Ayaka Kikuchi and her army ensues before Momoka transmats the Shinomiya family to a Dalek spaceship, where she prepares to execute them using the Yashio’ori. However, the Yashio’ori is sabotaged by the enemy army so that the laser beam would not charge.

As Ayaka and her army attack the Dalek ship, Momoka uses the Dalek-enhanced machine guns to fend them off. While two Doctors confront the Master, Momoka is killed by Girl Power officers, resulting in Walpurgisnacht taking over her body as she regenerates, maintaining her current appearance. Read #15 to find out what happens after this.

Once the Battle of Koshi Castle and the Manchester Campaign conclude, the Fourth Doctor helps Kyōya and Kasumi move to Chiswick in 2008. Five years later, the events of the GJ Club anime take place. During his time in Chiswick, Kyōya gets a job at the post office there and later, studies a double degree in Japanese Studies and Politics at SOAS in the University of London while also learning Cantonese, Mandarin and Welsh in weekend and evening courses (apparently he also wanted to learn Taiwanese but they weren’t running any courses, but that’s alright, he can always learn it somewhere else, which he presumably did).

On a side note, I volunteered myself to be Kyōya’s English voice actor, so I’ve practiced my Mancunian accent by watching actors like Christopher Eccleston, Stephen Tompkinson, Karl Pilkington and maybe a bit of Peter Kay as well. The only problem was that I’m not even sure that my accent is even Manc because I can’t tell if I’m getting it wrong and sounding like someone from Liverpool, Yorkshire, Newcastle or even Scotland. Oh well, that’s what happens when you really get into things.

I don’t buy expansion packs, I make my own (budget allowing)

So as I said, GJ Club only got one season and an OVA to go with it. Do Kyōya and the GJ Club make further appearances in the series? You bet your ass they do.

After being absent for much of the Next Gen Series in 2014, Kyōya and Kasumi receive a letter from their aunt, Narutaki, asking to meet in Hong Kong after their mother, Akari, went missing following the Siege of Ōsaka, only to be followed by Mao and the rest of the GJ Club, who learnt where he was going and managed to get on the same flight as them.

Narutaki, who had taken her Girl Power friends and established a rogue faction separate from the main group, takes the GJ Club to Nijō Castle, where she explains the background behind the Manchester Campaign and the events of Series 8 and 9. Soon after, Girl Power’s commander, Daniel, sends his brother, Nathan, out to find Narutaki. Kyōya tries to contact Hiroki, but he is unable to get through to him. Luckily, the TARDIS arrives and the Doctor and Hiroki help Angela and the others repel the attacking Girl Power forces. Some more things happen and by the end of the story, we learn that Kyōya and Mao are dating.

That Christmas, Kyōya and Kasumi head up to Manchester, but the Doctor briefly takes them and their friends back to Hong Kong for a picnic with Hiroki and the rest of the Zhuge family.

A few years later in 2018, the GJ Club and Momoka get a cameo at the start and end of the Gokaiger TV movie special. By this point in time, Momoka’s café in Manchester has expanded to many other branches around the UK and in Hong Kong.

The next year in 2019, Kyōya, Kasumi, Mao and Megumi are featured in a four-part adventure in Soulbound Series 3, helping the cast solve the mystery of Parker’s past and Shinbu’s origins. Two years after in 2021, Kyōya and Kasumi move to Hong Kong (along with the GJ Club) and join the Superhero Project as the new ShinkenRed and ZyuohTiger. You’d think Kyōya would be against violence given his harmless tendencies, but I suppose his character has developed over the years despite having abandonment issues.

So this has been the involvement of GJ Club in my personal project. It’s a shame the series wasn’t more popular or it could have gotten a second season, a manga, more (and frequent) translations of the light novel or hell, even a licenced release. This series is just like Sea Princesses in how popular it was, but despite the number of episodes the anime got, at least Shin Araki hasn’t abandoned the series (by putting it in a spinoff no less) unlike Fabio Yabu, who hasn’t made anything new for Sea Princesses since 2010 after getting more animated episodes than GJ Club did. On the other hand though, neglected series with little material has been good development fodder for my personal project as it allowed me to bring awareness to the existence of those series while also developing backstories and afterstories for them.

#kisekae insights #gj club #doctor who

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fantranslatorbychoice · 4 years

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Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6 Chapter 6 - An Uncle and Pampas Grass and Moon Viewing Sake

T/N: Hi y’all, I’m back with chapter 6, how are you doing? I thought tumblr didn’t want me to post, kept getting error logs but here we are now. I got a bit unwell so I didn’t get to post this as soon as I wanted to, but I hope you still like it somehow.

As always, if you like this translation, you can heart it, share the link, reblog, I just respectfully ask that DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. This is my contribution to the scant English content of this fandom, and I worked really hard to finish this thing, it’s not like I just copy-pasted everything. I even had to build the kanji in Jisho one by one. Try it and you’ll see what I mean.

You can rave about this, rant about this, reply, etc. but if possible please link back to this page. If you’re unsure how to do that, just copy the web address of this page. If you’re on a blogsite just insert the web address as a hyperlink as a link back to here. Honestly if this light novel was officially-published in English, I wouldn’t even be doing this right now... And if it did, I’d take this offline to support the publishers and Yuuma-sensei. Creators support creators, is what I believe in. I’ll prolly do 1-5 once 6-10 has been done, or however long I can manage to translate the raw texts, it can take a toll at times. As previously-mentioned in earlier chapters, if you stumbled upon this one, the two seasons of the anime covered volumes 1-5, so other than the extra details, you didn’t miss much stuff. OK, here we go, this chapter’s a racket lol

P186 Kasuga's resignation from Tenjin-ya has been announced. Aside from that, the guests were also a bit dreary that day. Many people came to ask if there's any beef stew or hamburger steak but there's none left already, and there were still a lot of the chestnut okowa** for the Autumn set meals... "It took a lot of pains to steam these in a bamboo steamer, the sweet and piping chestnut okowa though..." It's a waste, what will I do? I wonder if everyone from Tenjin-ya's going to come and eat... "Kasuga... would she be coming? There's so many terrible stuff tonight, she's probably not going here." I remembered Kasuga again, and I got even more gloomy. Today's no good. She's probably thinking about a lot of things due to her leaving. It can't be helped but be sad. As more time passes by, my heart feels more depressed and more bemoaning. When I came to Kakuriyo, Kasuga played a lot of tricks on me and some of the other Ayakashi that I got involved with. Then after that, when she came to my place a lot, she eventually became a very dear friend. T/N: okowa=steamed sticky rice with stuff like beans, nuts, etc. replaces plain white rice in some meals. P187 I wonder what I could do for Kasuga when she leaves...

When I went outside the shop curtain to wear my geta sandals, the lovely waxing gibbous moon floating in the sky lept out in front of my eyes. "Wahhhh" The moon is almost at its fullest. The autumn air that goes with it, it's heartrending. When I walked underneath the rustling willow tree, it was already twilight in the quiet inner garden. "Is there something wrong, Aoi Ojou-san?" In that moment, a young man was leaning over the wooden bridge and chewing on a blade of grass. Having a slender body, with his brown hair covering his eyes, and what seems to be a charming smile showing on his face... It was the Gesokubanchou, Chiaki-san. "Chiaki-san... This is unusual. For what reasons have you come here?" "Oh, Aoi-san, I have a little favor, to ask of you." "A favor?" It was different from Chiaki-san's usual sloppy presence, somehow his manner was solemn as he came here. He was Kasuga's uncle. Could he be talking about something regarding Kasuga? P188 "Errrr... Can Aoi-san expertly stir fry these?" "Say what? What are these.. Ah, ginko nuts!" Chiaki-san nodded eagerly and handed me a thin, drawstring bag that looked like it was filled to the brim, these were ginko nuts." "Today, Odanna-sama and Byakuya-sama, also Dr. Saraku who rarely leaves the underground facility, the three of them went to the mountain behind Tenjin-ya to watch the moon while drinking sake**. This time around, Tenjin-ya was troubled with the Bunmon Tanuki situation, so I decided to pick up some ginko nuts in the inner garden to stir-fry them and bring them to you, but I'm not good at stir-frying." "Oh, I get it now. It's OK, Yugao's already closed and we can go inside. Speaking of Odanna-sama, they went moon-viewing? Because it's nearly the full moon?" "Ayakashi like to drink sake while moon-viewing. Aside from that, those were the three seniors of Tenjin-ya. They probably had something important that they needed to talk about this time." "...oh, I see." If it wasn't the marriage of an employee, then it's likely something else. Likewise, the Northern Land's Hachiyo has been replaced, and Kasuga is going to get married to him, and this brings yet another huge issue and problems in the entirety of Kakuriyo. Previously, Odanna-sama announced his engagement to me while in Youto, and that caused a huge commotion. We entered Yugao, and sitting in his favorite seat, Chiaki-san immediately propped his chin with his hands on the counter.

T/N: Yep, it’s a thing, people drinking rice wine while moon-staring. When spring has the cherry-blossom viewing thing, autumn has moon-viewing activities. They say that when the moon reflects on your sake cup, spirits come out. Well, whatever lol I rather moon-stare sober P189 With that mannerism, somehow he resembles Kasuga during the day. But looking at them in their appearances, they don't look alike. Kasuga is springy and bouncy, and this guy is reasonably quick-paced. "Oh, Chiaki-san, are you hungry?" "Me? I'm good, I've finally had a meal." "You always have your dinner late, don't you?" "Oh, right. Gesokuban have so many minute and detailed jobs, and I also have to take care of the ogre kiddies. I have to put them to bed, and have dinner after that... Ah! Could it be, that you made something for me?!" He was already in a Japanese restaurant, and based on his reactions he only remembered about that now. Even though he explicitly came bringing some ginko nuts, with regards to me he's rather the uninformed type. "Hee hee. I only have chestnut okowa left, it that OK for you to eat? I still haven't had dinner yet." "Did you say... Chestnut okowa?!" Somewhat, Chiaki-san was taken aback. With such a strong reaction, I got anxious. "Is it likely, that you're not fond of chestnuts?" "No! It's not that, it's just that Tanuki love chestnuts and persimmons!" "Really? Thank goodness-- But that's the first time I heard it. That Tanuki love chestnuts" P190 "Yes. There's a huge chestnut tree in Bunmon's University Library, when autumn comes everyone goes out and gathers them." "Ehh?" A library that has a chestnut tree. That's somehow cool. "What side dishes would you like? There's some saury, how about salted and grilled saury? There's also miso soup, try it out, it's a reddish miso soup, it's a suitable accompaniment to the chestnut okowa." "What is that, isn't that the best autumn menu?" Hearing what the menu was, his empty stomach was remembered and it growled. While rubbing the back of his head, Chiaki-san's eagerness shone across his face. "That was embarassing. I uhm, haven't eaten anything since lunch." "Is that so? When Kasuga says that she's hungry, you should have come with her, it's OK." "It's fine, Odanna-sama and I had to go back and talk about other things too. In addition to that, it was necessary for Kasuga that time, to be with Aoi-san who is her friend. Since yesterday, we have been completely surrounded by esteemed Ayakashi." "..." While Chiaki-san wore a strained smile, he secretly let out a sigh. I didn't fail to see that, so I turned on the fire on the grill, and started preparing the salting and grilling of the saury. P191 And then, Chiaki-san weirdly seemed to become fidgety, and suddenly he stood up and took a broom in his hand, and started sweeping inside Yugao. "What are you doing, Chiaki-san?" "Oh, it's nothing, if I don't move I couldn't calm down. You seem to be in the middle of cleaning and tidying up Yugao, is it fine if I sweep here?" "Uhm, thank you, I'm grateful for that..." He might be a manager, but by nature he is humble and feels much obliged. "Ah-- It's Tanu-tanu-shaaan's voice-" For some reason, Chibi who was sleeping in the back room woke up, and that time when he heard Chiaki-san's voice he went out. He held the acorn he picked up during the day on his flank, and with a heave-ho climbed up Chiaki-san's counter seat. "Heyyy isn't that Chibi? Have you slept? Your beak is smeared all over." After saying that, Chiaki-san wiped Chibi's beak with his hand. Apart from being humble and obliging, he also gives off the vibe that he's used to taking care of children... "I'm a baby Kappaaaa. Baby Kappa are the cutesssht newbornssssh in the worrrrld." I have been taking care of him, but for some reason Chibi has returned to being a baby and shows how he's suckling on his thumb zealously. "So to speak, you know of Chibi, Chiaki-san?" P192 "Yes, I do, we went picking up some ginko nuts during the day." "Yesh we diiid. When I wasssh about to get eaten by Shoft-shelled turtle-shan in the garden'sss shmall pond, Tanu-tanu-shaaan saved mee. And for that, this Kappa returnsssh the favor." Chibi went "I presshent you my gift", and he brought out the acorn that he was holding on his flank for Chiaki-san. Even though he seemed to have no need for the acorn, Chiaki-san replied with a smile, "Thank you, Chibi", as Chibi acted morosely. Chibi...Isn't he spoiled by Tenjin-ya's male army? Now then, back to Chiaki-san's saury. To this extent, for anybody with a high-class taste there's probably no other food that is more famous than this one during autumn. Long and thin, rounded and fatty, the luster of the fresh saury, it has been caught off the coast of the Eastern Lands. I salted both sides of the fish. This removes the fishy stench, and improves the elasticity of the flesh. I lightly rinsed this in running water, and again lightly sprinkled salt over the dazzling flesh again, before cutting this into smaller pieces. After that I turned on the charcoal grill and slowly grilled this, steadily holding it over the fire. "Chiaki-san, is Kasuga's uncle, aren't you?" "Yes. Kasuga's father and mother in Youto have been estranged for a long time, I have practically took measures to look after her." "Really? You have been her father's replacement?" "Ahaha. Saying that I'm her father is too much. Well, I'm like a big brother who's older by some years, it's something to that extent. I think it's sensible that way. Kasuga P193 is the youngest daughter, and compared to her other siblings she hates studying... she's a naughty and troublesome child." While Chiaki-san was suppressing a laugh as he recalled some memories, he was sipping some warm sencha tea that I poured for him. That atmosphere, it was a bit different from the light impression that I have of Chiaki-san, he was somehow polished and elegant. "Ah... The fragrance of the grilled saury is good, right?" "Tee hee. When this saury is grilled at just the right amount of time, the skin and the fat just makes it more mouth-watering for anybody and you can't get enough of it's scent." While the saury was being grilled and the appetizing smell was wafting out, I placed the hot and piping chestnut okowa in a rice bowl, and checked out the taste of the reddish miso soup I was using. In a small bowl, I added vinegared miso with squid and scallion. I placed all of these in a four-legged tray, and when the saury was about to be grilled enough I grated daikon over a long and narrow plate, and beside this I placed the grilled fish. Wah, the fat is dripping, and the skin has been grilled to become crunchy, this saury is both delicious and really smells great. It's filled with all the tastes of autumn, and I served this like it was made at home. "Alright! This is Yugao's 'Nothing but Autumn' set meal. These directly echoes the tastes of a hungry stomach during autumn. Ah, kabosu, kabosu!** I'll cut half of a kabosu and if you squeeze that all over, the citrusy fragrance makes it even more appetizing." I sliced a kabosu in half and plopped it beside the saury. "Ahaha. How you smiled, that meant that it's really delicious." Chiaki-san put his hands together and said "let's eat", and as expected took a mouthful of the chestnut okowa. T/N: kabosu=香母酢=some type of citrus fruit, well to be honest anything citrusy goes well with fried or grilled fish, or just fish in general. gwah P194 Rounded and scattered, there's so much of the lovely yellow chestnuts. The steamed sticky rice I used for the okowa, it mildly envelops the chestnuts with sweetness, tenderly and endearingly, it was enjoyably warm and fluffly, and the springy texture have its finishing touches. "These rounded chestnuts, they're surely delicious. Chestnuts in plain rice** is good, and so is chestnut okowa." "Try eating that with the saury. It's also the best." That being said, Chiaki-san squeezed the kabosu juice over the saury's crunchy skin, and with the chopsticks neatly scattered this to soften the meat, and picked up the jiggly flesh. He ate it as it was, and closed his eyes as he chewed on it. "Oh.. This is good, this is good. This IS autumn. There is so much of this saury's fatty umami, even more so when it was salted and grilled and the skin got crunchy. The refreshing kabosu and the grated daikon over it, no other fish suits this the best. Also, the reddish miso soup really goes well with with everything, it worked the best." This time he tried the saury with the chestnut okowa. Occasionally letting out a sigh of relief and closing his eyes as he eats, it was charming and adorable. Kasuga was also like that, a Tanuki with a distinct gentle air about them, and I love how she's like that. "Kasuga said that when she's eating Aoi-san's delicious food, she goes to work cheerfully everyday." "Kasuga?" T/N: OK, so to make it a bit clearer since not all rice are equal, some rice when boiled or steamed have a texture that makes the grains scattered, and then there are some rice varieties that become sticky/glutinous when cooked, like your usual sushi rice, and then there are some super-mushy ones that need a lot of water-regulating skills to prevent it from becoming rice porridge. The okowa is somewhere in between the excessive watery stuff and the sushi rice consistency. P195 "Yes, she does. That girl, she seemed to have loved working in Tenjin-ya. Way back, she hated working in here." "...is that so? But that's curious. Kasuga's an Ojou-sama, isn't she? Why was she working as a waitress in Tenjin-ya?" "Uhm, that..." Chiaki-san's gaze lowered for a bit, and asked me "How much do you know of... the person Kasuga is engaged to?" I took out the newspaper that Juujirou-ojisan left behind sometime ago, and placed it in front of Chiaki-san. "This child on the photo, I heard that he was the next Hachiyo of the Northern Lands. Isn't he the one that Kasuga previously said that she'll get married to?" "Yes, that's correct. It's Kiyo-sama...He's grown to be very handsome." Chiaki-san looked at the youth on the newspaper, and somehow he seemed calm, he smiled as he drew his eyebrows together. "You know of him?" "Of course. When that child was quite young, he used to stay in the Land of Bunmon a lot. He was sickly, and he gets medical treatment in our University Hospital..." Starting to eat a bit again, Chiaki-san went "Shall I tell you a story from long ago?" and started to talk once again. "The Northern Land's new Hachiyo, Kiyo-sama spent so much time with Kasuga when they were children. Kasuga hated studying, and always hid in the hospital and the library and caused troubles to the adults.” P196 "Kasuga right now is a real hard-worker, I couldn't imagine she was like that. But then again, that was probably because she was still young." "That girl's pranks, as a kid she made those very ingenious and cunning. During that time, it was hard for me to even handle Kasuga at all." "Tee hee hee" Imagining Chiaki-san following around Kasuga in that situation, somehow I could only smile at that. "During that time when Kasuga has been fleeing a lot and entered a hospital's private room, she met Kiyo-sama. Kasuga and Kiyo-sama were almost the same ages, and they immediately got on good terms. Kiyo-sama read a lot of books, and Kasuga became influenced to read books, as well as growing a bit in working hard in studying. Kiyo-sama was especially interested in the culture and history of Utsushiyo, and those were the topics and books that those two talked about and read about, they had so much fun imagining things." Chiaki-san's expression gradually changed. He was just talking about Kasuga's childhood, but he was smiling a lot as he seemed to remember the past while I was listening, I wonder if there's nothing else other than that. "Kasuga started to have growing feelings for Kiyo-sama. But Kiyo-sama seemed to imagine that he wasn't going to live long, as his body was prone to sickness. Then one day, Kasuga and Kiyo-sama broke out of the hospital room, and the two of them decided to go to Utsushiyo together." P197 "Wahhh? Is that even possible?" "Because it is necessary to go to Utsushiyo, a Hachiyo is issued a travelling pass. Kasuga used her cunning skills to steal the travelling pass from my mother, the Institutional Director. It was preposterous, that wicked brat. But Kasuga, it was because she really wanted to take Kiyo-sama to Utsushiyo so badly..." What I heard happened after those events, was that Kasuga and Kiyo-sama wandered in Utsushiyo together, and after about three days they were discovered by the Bunmon Tanuki who went out on a manhunt, and they were taken to be returned. Because Kiyo-sama has a frail body, his condition deteriorated and took the turn for the worse. Kasuga received severe reprimands, and she was forbidden to meet him again. After that, Kasuga was punished by her Institutional Director grandma to work in Tenjin-ya, so that she would learn the harshness of the outside world. Work really, really hard. That was why everybody always asked Kasuga to do a lot of errands here and there, she was told off to do things for others a lot... But nobody knew that Kasuga was in that circumstance. When everybody learned that Kasuga was an Ojou-sama, it was impossible not to get shocked. It seemed that none of the management staff in Tenjin-ya knew Kasuga's personal history. "However, when Kasuga started to work a lot in Tenjin-ya, it became obvious that she has become changed. Her movements P198 have grown to be more responsible, when total strangers scold her as she was earning hard for her money by working, it was because she hasn't had much experiences. It was altogether different when she met O-ryo-san. She raised Kasuga with eagerness and zeal, the Kasuga who doesn't know anything. This was because it was before O-ryo-san became the Wakaokami." "Really now. So that is why, until now 'O-ryo-sama' is still how Kasuga calls O-ryo." "Yes, that's right. Well, since O-ryo-san is always acting with so much insolence, being with her eventually turned Kasuga into a grown-up." "Well, that's for sure..." O-ryo may have raised Kasuga, in a way O-ryo's bad example probably made Kasuga grow... I could remember when I first came to Kakuriyo. When she got demoted from being the Wakaokami, when O-ryo got a fever, Kasuga brought her here. That time it was somehow unimaginable, but Kasuga, even though she has her own issues to deal with didn't forsake O-ryo. "Kasuga was here, due to the things that she did during her childhood. After that, even though Kasuga can't see Kiyo-sama again... it can be said that it was their fate, wasn't it? When Kiyo-sama became the North's Hachiyo, Kasuga decided to get married to him. Even though they were separated once, this time because they were pushed to a marriage against their own will, it can be said that they have grown into mature beings. Although they may be childhood friends, aren't they having such a complicated idea?" P199 "..." Kasuga, with what she meant with her expressions and her words, I could only realize what her explanations were. She may be smiling because she was going to get married to her first love, but to that end there were still some unfinished issues not taken care of. I was worried. Because Kasuga is my friend. When I came here, I prayed for everybody in Tenjin-ya happiness, likewise I allowed to myself to go through anybody's sadness that they hold, and I couldn't imagine that in my dreams. "Kasuga, she's surely leaving, isn't she?" "Yes, that's right. I daresay that the engagement talks, it's going to progress from now. Aside from that, the Northern Land is not in the road towards stability, but it seems that Kasuga is fully aware of her position. But isn't getting married troublesome? Aoi-san, when you came here, didn't you have a lot of problems?" I peeked at Chiaki-san's face, and he asked. Surely, it was also that same reason why I came here... "But.. I'm not going to get married to Odanna-sama yet!" "Ahaha. While Kasuga was talking about it, she seems to constantly retort that, right?" "Wah, don't laugh at me--" Chiaki-san kept hitting his hand faintly while laughing. Anybody who's facing their worries and affections would eventually show their true feelings, in the end. P200 "Aoi-san. Kasuga has concerned friends such as Aoi-san, who saves her. If that's the case, from here on end... If I could ask for Aoi-san's permission as the need arises, please help us. I want you to help us..." "..." "Aoi-san and Kasuga, will eventually grow to have similar positions in the future, won't they? Being a Hachiyo's wife... Behind the political stage, becoming one is a huge role to carry on one's shoulder. It's because in Kakuriyo, that is the wife of a great Youkai." With an earnest expression he was making his request, but I can't say my routine answer of "No I am not yet married to Odanna-sama". Instead... "Awww... Ish Aoi-shaan crying..?" Chibi who was playing with the acorn lying around, suddenly stopped and pointed at me. He placed his flipper on my hand. "It's, it's not like that! The ashes from the charcoal grill got into my eye!"** "Eh?! Aoi-san... I'm so sorry, I was being weird..." "No, it's not that..." But why do the tears keep on coming... My eyes hurt from the stinging pain, I thought that it was because of the ashes that flew out of the charcoal grill, but at the same time T/N: Yeah right, sure Aoi, keep telling yourself that bwahahaha we all know what's happening here **Lenny face** P201 I was attacked by the merciless thoughts that words cannot describe. Kasuga may have already braced herself with her decision, but I barely have any awareness, that in Kakuriyo I allowed myself to be dragged here to Kakuriyo selfishly. Kasuga is going to leave Tenjin-ya with a smile, I wonder if I can have that... When she's going to be the Northern Land's Hachiyo's wife, meanwhile me here, I don't know... "Ah, uhm, Aoi-san please stop crying..." "Aoi-shaan. Aoi-shaan if you keep crying you'll get uglyyy--" "What the, I already told you I wasn't crying!" Chiaki-san was all consoling-mode, and while at it Chibi was consoling while saying so many things. It's perplexing, it makes no sense that I was crying and sobbing. Chiaki-san was explicitly, one way or another saying a lot himself, and was in a panic. He stooped down and as he pulled out his hand towel, he was saying "I'm sorry, are you alright? I'm so sorry.." In the corner of my mind, as I was wiping my eyes I thought about what O-ryo said before, that this amiable, good-natured young man takes others into consideration so much, no wonder he's absolutely popular. But a while ago, he was wiping off Chibi's drool... "Aoi-san, thank you for your hard work..." Ginji-san unfortunately saw that scenario, just as he came to Yugao. P202 "..." While Ginji-san was still wearing his smile, he quickly went over to Chiaki-san. "Hey Chiaki. What is this? Why did you make Aoi-san cry?" It was scary, Ginji-san grabbed Chiaki-san's collar by the neck, and a shadow fell across his eyes. "The mild-mannered Wakadanna-sama got so scary!" said Chiaki-san as he went pale, and in that moment he turned into a cute, brown Tanuki. Turning into a surprised and scared Tanuki, he's definitely like Kasuga right there. Thankfully, my tears had stopped flowing. "I'm alright, Ginji-san. It's just because some of the ashes went into my eyes. Chiaki-san was just worried for me." "Is.. is that so? I'm sorry, everybody. I may have misunderstood a bit..." Somehow due to that misunderstanding, for some reason Ginji-san's cheeks twinged, and his ears drooped. "Oh! The ginko nuts!" "Ah!" In that moment, Chiaki-san and I remembered what we were supposed to be doing. While I was serving Chiaki-san food, it went over our heads and we forgot about it. "Oh, could that be for Odanna-sama and everyone else, in the back of the mountain? I was about to go there too. P203 I wanted to bring sake and a large towel, and I dispatched an Ogre-fire so fast." "Sake and towel...?" "Because it's rare, let's bring the charcoal grill, and let's all go to the mountain behind Tenjin-ya, together. We'll roast the ginko nuts in there, we're going to have an elegant feast. It's surely going to be a really good appetizer** for moon-viewing sake." "Wah, that's wonderful!" Ginji-san's plan made me feel ecstatic. Just a while ago I was sobbing because of that, but now it's because we're going to cook.

There is a mountain behind Tenjin-ya, and it's a facility where hotspring-boiled eggs are made, has an open-air hotspring, a foot bath, a famous summer place where rice can be cooked in open air, among others, it was a facility with a lot of various uses and has complete furnishings. Odanna-sama was with Tenjin-ya's founding members Byakuya-san and Dr. Saraku, I wonder what were they discussing about... "Hey, this is different from the usual path..." Normally we would be walking through the path in the bamboo grove, but this time we climbed up. I thought that the pipe cats would come out squirming as we passed through the bamboo grove, but this time we turned through a narrow path in front of us, it was lined up with old Jizou statues** and hanging lanterns, and we walked on a small, unpaved path. T/N: Yeah I know it sounds absurd but if you've tried drinking liquor while eating nuts or even some salty junk food, it actually tastes good together. Broke college days cheap beer and cheap junk food lol Jizou=地蔵=patrons of children, you probably saw at least one when you watched J-dramas or anime, the people usually put on scarves and/or hats on them whenever it snows. P204 "This time the bamboo grove is not passable. Other than Tenjin-ya's facilities, since long ago it has been called the secret base of Tenjin-ya's management staff." "Really, a secret base?" "Be that as it may, I didn't say that others are forbidden to enter it. It gives off the feel of children's secret base, that's why it was called as such." If that's the case. my expectations have increased. It has tickled my childish mind. "This season's surely great. Don't you think so, Ginji-san?" "Yes... I thought that Aoi-san would like too. Saying that somehow... You're twinkling." "Twinkling?" While Chiaki-san and Ginji-san were talking, as we left the little road lined up with Jizou statues, there was... "Wahhhh! Amazing! It's pampas grass!" It was a wide field where the pale silver ears of the pampas grass were swaying. Under the clear, night sky where the the moon floats up above, it mystically rules this place and its scenery. Occasionally I've seen the pampas grass growing in the inner garden, but in this wide field there was pampas grass everywhere I looked, like autumn has begun. The ears of the pampas grass in Kakuriyo were specially fluffy, it seems to be enveloped by the fleeting light. Not only does the light dance in the sky but there was also a light breeze, and with the floating full moon above, the light seems P205 to soak it all up... it was an emotionally-moving spectacle. "The children in Kakuriyo play in the pampas grass fields and turn them into their secret bases, you know. Even back in my hometown I used to do that a lot." "Odanna-sama and everyone else, I think that they're in an old shrine after that pampas grass field. There is a hotspring over there that gushes forth with high levels of pure spiritual energies, and since long ago there were facilities that were used to boil things like hell..." We followed Ginji-san who lead the way, and from somewhere we heard the sounds of laughter. That laughing voice, it seems to be from the Thousand-Year Mole** Ayakashi, Dr. Saraku. We left the soft pampas grass field, and there was billowy steam popping out... Is that a hotspring? "..." Somewhat wearing nothing, soaking in that natural hotspring, were the three senior management staff members. Suddenly without warning, with that scene that leaves out the imagination, I got utterly speechless. "Ahhh.. for sure, the moon and the hotspring and the sake, this is the best! I haven't gone above ground after so long... Full moon banzai!" What the, a sake bottle jutted out of a rock, and soaking in the hot spring while holding the small sake drinking bowl, was Dr. Saraku. "Good grief. You've gotten so drunk Saraku. Drinking sake while on a bathtub is bad for the health. You keep saying that you're always hiding and cooping up underground, well now you only want to go above ground whenever you want." Then someone's face appeared to be extremely cautious, with the towel wrapped around his head in the style of someone who's already finished T/N: yeah this mole is a hoax, it's just an old badger with skinny legs lol link to that is here P206 soaking in the hotspring, it was Byakuya-san. "Come now, Byakuya. It has been a long while since we've opened up together like this.** Let's just talk about the really important stuff. Alrighty, let's toast to tonight's full moo---- what the, AOI!!!!!" Odanna-sama wasn't even thoroughly finished when he realized that I was standing out near the edges of the pampas grass field, and he madly dashed back to the hotspring with a splash. Incidentally, Dr. Saraku screamed in a hoarse voice "Gyaaaaaaah" while Byakuya-san quietly and furiously looked at me with his eyes as if saying "It's shameless to peep". "No, no, it's not like I went here on purpose! I was just coming out of the lovely fields of pampas grass here in the mountain, and I didn't realize that I was entering the men's bath!" "Ah, Aoi... Could it be that you.. Wanted to take a bath with me too?" "And how can that happen, how can that even happen, Odanna-sama?" Odanna-sama in his sluggishness did all that he can to make an admirable retort. "Oh, uhm... excuse me but, please use this fresh towels that I have!" In the most critical moment, Ginji-san drew them in to leave the hotspring and wear the towels. "It was because I was in the pampas grass field too." I wasn't really embarassed or blushing like a girlfriend, so I just stayed on the opposite side of the men. "Y-you unfortunately saw a bunch of indecent men, Aoi-san--" T/N: OK fam this part is actually nsfw-ish, as they were all naked together in an open-air hotspring, Odanna-sama's line in the original text was "it's been a while since we've all been naked together" but that just sounds so nsfw so I made a euphemism of some sort. I may be a potty mouth but I also have limits, of infinity lol also srsly I just tried my best to make the following scenes clean, srsly the original japanese text has so many uhm...word play that I deem nsfw srsly I did not expect this, jfc P207 With a forced smile, Chiaki-san followed us here. It was awesome that Chiaki-san somehow said that the bosses being naked was indecent. "It's fine. I have been used to washing Grandpa's back thoroughly." "...what" "Why that speechless expressio....n?" Behind the startled Chiaki-san, I discovered what seems to be an inconspicuous square gazebo. "What's that over there?" We went closer to where it was. There was something that looks like a cauldron, and from its rounded wooden lid steam was coming out. I wonder what they're boiling in there... "Ah, that's is Hell's Cauldron. In here, it's almost never used..." "He-- Hell's Cauldron?" “That cauldron is used to steam ingredients using the hot vapors from the hotsprings. Since the hotsprings also have hot vapors, when these are used to steam food, why, passing them through open fires make them even more delicious. Other than that, here is another thing I can say. When steam that comes out from Tenjin-ya's basements are used to steam ingredients, the steam's composition seems to make them less prone to spoilage." "Really... Isn't that interesting?" Finally, when Ginji-san said that "Alright Aoi-san, it's OK now", I went in front of everybody. P208 A while ago I could only side-glance and go past the three men who were soaking in the open-air hotsprings, but now I followed them for a bit in climbing a small shrine. "Well, Aoi, it's nice that you came." And as if it was nothing, I found Odanna-sama who was sitting in his usual overly-magnanimous pose. There also was Dr. Saraku who was wearing his round, black spectacles while smiling so brightly as he was holding a bottle of sake, and Byakuya-san who was tapping his fan to the corners of his mouth. But these three management staff members, even though they were comfily wearing large towels after taking a dip in the hotspring, they seemed to be delving into heavy matters. "What were you doing in such a place as this? Did the three of you came to bathe in the hotsprings?" "N-no. In the beginning we were talking about the matter concerning Kasuga. When we eventually thought of going into the hotsprings... Dr. Saraku here, in his drunkeness started pushing Byakuya powerfully into the hotsprings, it was a messy situation." "Byakuya-san wanted to get pushed into the hotsprings" At that point in time I have stopped trembling, and after Byakuya-san cleared his throat, Odanna-sama changed the topic of the conversation. "Kasuga's resignation this month from Tenjin-ya was caused by a lot of issues. That is the path that Kasuga personally chose. As for Tenjin-ya, as Kasuga's marriage is very fortunate, we can't just only give her support from the sides." "..." "...have you gotten lonely, Aoi?" P209 Odanna-sama read my changed expression, and pulling the corners of my eyes together, I smiled. I nodded deeply as I showed my true emotions. "However, there's this sole problem of Hachiyos that hasn't gone away. As Ougondouji-sama predicted, the faction of the Minister of the Left has been calling out the abolition of the Centralized Authoritarian Rulership along with the Hachiyo's Ruling System, hasn't it gotten a lot quieter, Byakuya?" "Hmph. Ougondouji-sama is backed up by the Minister of the Right, but Raijuu is backed up by the Minister of the Left. That guy's evolution doesn't appear to be good, but somehow he's probably making his flashy moves..." Raijuu, isn't it? Odanna-sama and Byakuya-san, they were talking about the movement of Kasuga's marriage, along with the politics of Kakuriyo, and I have no idea what they're talking about right there but... Raijuu making his moves, those words, I couldn't help but not hold on to that without worrying. As the charcoal grill was roasting and toasting the ginko nuts and other tastes of autumn at the shrine's entryway, I remembered the first time that I received Raijuu's maltreatment, and got anguished. "Are you alright, Aoi-san? Is the smoke getting over there?" "Hm? Oh, no.. That's not it, really. The ginko nuts look delicious, don't they?" Ginji-san was fanning the smoke outwards with all his might. Crackle, crackle, the husks of the ginko nuts splitting open were echoing all around. Ah, I could see that these have gotten transluscent, the ginko nut's lovely green color has appeared. When the ginko nuts were gathered they stank, but when they're cooked and ready to eat they seem so appetizing. Those differences were very fascinating. P210 Polishing them brightly, it's not an exaggeration to say that they're the jewels of autumn. Wahh, I wanna eat some... "Kasuga... She works cleverly and is a hardworking person, it's within her core. It's really unfortunate and regretable to lose her as our waitress. It also seems that as a granddaughter leaving by herself, it's so lonely..." Says Odanna-sama. He said it entirely as if he's Kasuga's grandpa. While Odanna-sama was restraining himself from the back, Kasuga's foster-dad Chiaki-san just started crying and sobbing at Odanna-sama's words. Odanna-sama just started patting Chiaki-san's knees, it mysteriously consoled him. "Hey, you know what, Kasuga Ojou-chan always runs so many errands for the basement team, I always give her the unsold manjuu to take home." Oh, so that's why Kasuga always brings in a lot of Tenjin-ya's unsold manjuu, those were given to her by Dr. Saraku. "But from now on, Kasuga's position has changed. Tenjin-ya will be protecting her from behind, and we'll make a lot of souvenirs and other things for her to bring when we send her off. Let's not talk about bad things, Tenjin-ya has its members marrying a Hachiyo one after another.” Byakuya-san opened his fan and while fanning his face, from the corners of his mouth he was somewhat stiffling a laugh. I wonder what souvenirs could those be... "Ah, that's right, Yomego-chan**! Speaking of souvenirs, our souvenirs, OUR souvenirs! Before, Tenjin-ya inquired about the hotspring manjuu, how are those coming along?" T/N: Yomego-chan=嫁御ちゃん=Dr. Saraku calls Aoi as Daughter-in-Law-chan. I've done enough speed runs to know why, so I'll just leave it like this. Don't worry fam, it's cute once that goes up, idk when though T_T dang it, my Nihongo learning skills couldn't keep up T_T P211 "Come again?" While talking about it, Dr. Saraku remembered the matter about the souvenirs, and he abruptly changed it. Everyone stared at me. "Ah, uhm... We're in the middle of our test trials, Dr. Saraku. It will get finished by the time we hold the Autumn Festival." "We don't want an expensive souvenir Aoi-kun." "Well now, Byakuya-san. My basic menu costs minimally. But one more step isn't enough... The usual manjuu as a newly-released product doesn't have enough impact, we have to change it into a striking product so people won't lose interest in it. When the Autumn Festival starts, we'll have it ready." While in the middle of talking about the souvenirs, I instantly had an idea. That's it. The new souvenir from Tenjin-ya...I should also consult Kasuga about it. Kasuga has eaten a lot of Tenjin-ya's manjuu, it seems that she'll have a lot of opinions on what kinds of suitable manjuu can Tenjin-ya make. More than anything, I want Kasuga to taste the new manjuu we'll make before she leaves. It's settled then. I immediately brought a bowl of roasted ginko nuts to Odanna-sama, and he oh-ed when he took one kernel, peeled it of its charred color, and ate the green seed. "Mmmm, this ginko nut tastes good" "It's because it was roasted on a charcoal grill. Roasting the seeds with their husks keeps in the fragrance, and the bitter after taste of the crumbly seeds get more tolerable, which are P212 uniquely the ginko nut's trait. Would you want to try adding coarse salt?" This is too easy to be called cooking, the flavors of autumn, enjoying these as they are, it's the best. Particularly the ginko nuts, just serving them with a bit of salt is exquisite. "Everyone, there's also grilled matsutake mushrooms, and some dried mackerel too. Please have these with the sake." Ginji-san grilled all of these on the charcoal grill, served them in a large platter, and placed them in the center where the management staff were seated. Seeing the flavors of autumn arranged together, my mouth started watering again. "Please take a seat too, Wakadanna-dono" Byakuya-san offered Ginji-san some sake. He only has been waiting to be called for and his expression became so bright, he brought his sake cup and entered the circle of drinkers. It seemed that he somehow, wanted to drink some sake. "Aoi, you come here too. I'm sorry that you have to work here even after Yugao's business hours." "Hm?" "...even your hand, it's full of cracks. She may be of a marriagable age, yet we're helped by such a hard-worker." Matching his concerned words, Odanna-sama faced me, and casually took my hands. Just a while ago the conversations were flowing, and that reminds me... After that Orchard Park date, after a long while we faced each other upfront, for one reason or another I felt embarassed. I flagrantly moved away my face, and the hand he was holding, I pulled it away. "Th-that is, because I work in a Japanese restaurant. Lately it has gotten cold, and my hands have gotten all worn out. P213 But today there weren't many customers, I thought that I needed my body to move some more." "Ahaha, Aoi is definitely a hard-worker, right?" Odanna-sama has always been extremely understanding.** I only realized, it seems that he's only weird with me. "Oh, right. Would you like to drink some of the sweet sake that I got hold of? It has no additives, and no alcohol." "What's that? I wanna drink that." Just a while ago I was all aloof and cold, now I just heard the phrase "There's sweet sake" and my bearing changed 180 degrees. Chiaki-san seemed to have realized my interest, and from the shrine's altar where a lot of the bottles were arranged, he took one and brought it for me. The package gives off a vibe of it being undeniably a high-class product, and my excitement was at its peak. Using the sake cup from the grilled foods plate, Odanna-sama triumphantly poured the sweet sake for me. The sweet sake's particularl trait, I peeked on it and its color is a bit like undisturbed milk, and on the clear top layer some malted rice were floating on it, I saw these as they were shining. "Tenjin-ya has always been in the care of OROCHI's work - The Ebitsu Liquor Products. They made these using only the newly-harvested rice for this year, this product isn’t released in stores to be sold." While Odanna-sama was talking about the product, I took a sip. Ah... Somehow the flavor gave me a sigh of relief. It wasn't too sweet, there wasn't any odor, this sweet sake is easy to drink. There were some grainy lumps left behind, T/N: this phrase is vague-ish, the transliterated version means that he's always glugging the liquor heartily but again, gah this chapter is just full of word plays, really P214 It was really delicious, the sweet sake is like home-brewed and hand-made. I like this grainy stuff too. I could understand why it's really enjoyable, it was hand-made and isn't sold to the public. "This is amazing... I always had the impression that sweet sake has a stench, but this one changed my mind." "It's not altogether a waste using this product, the sweetness of the malted rice helps the flavor to stick to it. That is probably why despite that there aren't so many people who like the sweet sake's unique odor, I like this sweet and mild taste, and every year, when the time comes they make this sweet sake, with a personalized note. I heard that it's also good for your body." "Really now.. Odanna-sama likes this sweet sake. And yet you hate the sweet pumpkin?" "Oh, aren’t the sweet sake and the pumpkin entirely different? A pumpkin is hollow, when it's boiled it gets stuck in the throat. It's soft and sticky, and that is why I find it difficult to eat it." Odanna-sama said those things while sourly turning his eyes away to the side. "That's why I thought somehow, that you were sneakily placing those in my bowl, Odanna-sama" "Byakuya! Don't reveal something that nasty to Aoi!" Odanna-sama was pnaicking and wailing a lot, but I have previously heard that from Ginji-san... On the other hand, Ginji-san has sunk into a drunken stupor. While Byakuya-san poured some sake for him, Ginji-san's nine tails would incidentally move a lot, and he has been extremely exhausted from drinking. It was like eating wanko soba.** "I also want to drink some sweet sake" "Ah, well then I shall pour for you" T/N: wanko soba=わんこそば= this has always weirded me out, it's like they put a bite-size portion in a tiny bowl and they'll keep giving this to you until you get full, like an endless stream of soba/buckwheat noodles. Personally just give the whole thing to me and I'll eat it lol P215 This time, I poured Odanna-sama some of the sweet sake. Looking at that scene with a laidback yet careful attitude, Dr. Saraku suggestively went "Hey, heeeey" while his face broke into a grin. "Yomego-chan pouring sake like that for Odanna-sama, somehow you look like a real husband and wife. After Kasuga Ojou-chan, it's also a good idea to write your marriage registration here too." "What?" "Hmmm... You have a point there. Following Kasuga's lead, pretty soon Aoi-kun will brace herself too." Even Byakuya-san. I could feel that the two higher management members have severely put me under so much pressure, I'm just thoroughly shrivelled. Well, isn't this vibe like what happens all over the country, when a girl reaches a marriagable age the parents just pushes her to get married? "Hey now, both of you stop that. I don't want to force Aoi against her will." "What's that?" "Until Aoi likely decides to have me for her husband, I'll... be waiting forever." "..." What the, this Odanna-sama is being meek. While sipping the sweet sake bit by bit, his face is just full of dejection. Even though before, he said that he had no intention of waiting forever... P216 I can't understand what Odanna-sama's intentions were, but if it's useless to push him, should I pull back? Might it be that, Odanna-sama already, vehemently, doesn't want to marry me anymore? I felt emotionally-struck a thousand times, I don't understand why there is this puzzling feeling of impending fears. Lately I have been... such an emotional wreck.

End of Chapter 6, Volume 6. Previous - Chapter 5 Next - Chapter 7

References:

Wonderful site for the youkai references

Other stuff I used to do this: Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary (you can buy here, I’m not sponsored btw). I was about to buy the older edition but then the newer one came out 2013 so I bought that instead. Worth buying since I was able to find nearly all of the words I needed just by stroke pattern alone.

Merriam-Webster's Japanese-English Dictionary (the red-covered 1996 version is apparently out of print right now). This is what I have been using for a very long time, I bought it when I was still a fetus (yes I am old so what lol), and after so many years, when compared to newer editions, I still prefer this one since its entirety is Japanese-English, the English to Japanese gloss are just 16 pages tops, so you get more Japanese words for your buck. But that’s just my opinion, maybe other people prefer the Jap-En x En-Jap IDEK.

Basic online dictionary, Jisho. Knowledge of verb conjugations and other words are necessary since not all have entries.

If you can read Japanese, you can buy the whole set in Amazon Japan, they’re shipping worldwide now, I think.

#kakuriyo no yadomeshi #kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 chapter 6 #kakuriyo no yadomeshi english fan translation #kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel english #kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel volume 6 chapter 6

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beneaththetangles · 3 years

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Reader’s Corner: MHA Team-Up Missions, Assassination Classroom, and Love Me, Love Me Not

My Hero Academia: Team-Up Missions, Vol. 1

Developed to put the various characters from the MHA universe into short-term teams with one another, My Hero Academia: Team Up Missions features side stories and regular content in what amounts to fun but inconsequential filler material. The premise is that with provisional licenses now in hand, the Class 1-A students will work with each other and those from other classes (and perhaps other schools in the future) as they join with professional heroes in their job duties (think of the internship filler episodes, but with two or three students assigned per hero). It’s not a bad setup to get to know the characters better, but volume one is a bit of a false start: There are really only two original missions in this volume—the rest of the material consists of previously published one-shots with plots similar enough to be gathered together under this new manga’s moniker. A number of the chapters have an introductory feel to them, dragging the pacing of the volume down, but seeing fan favorites teaming up and in chapters they may not have previously read will excite MHA fans, and the mangaka developing this series has a firm grasp on the characters and world, ensuring that future volumes should similarly be pleasing to readers of the beloved manga—though it probably is best left for those who live and breathe My Hero Academia. ~ twwk

My Hero Academia: Team-Up Missions, Vol. 7 is available through Viz.

Love Me, Love Me Not, Vol. 7

After the past two volumes featured increasingly contrived plot devices that were undermining what had been a smart and romantice series, Love Me, Love Me Not gets back on track in volume seven by honing on one of the series’ themes: moving forward. As more and more facets of the four main characters are revealed, Sakisaka continues to weave a sweetness into her story, painted with brushes of humor and plenty of angst and romance as the school festival concludes and a double date of sorts follows. What’s perhaps most interesting in these chapters is how Yuna and Rio continue to defy the expectations of their initial roles and develop as characters, while Akari, too, undergoes realistic transformation. It’s only Inui that remains a wildcard, a character whom I’m unsure of—is he still purposely mysterious, or just an undefined character? It seems that the coming volumes will reveal which is true, and I’ll certainly be reading along to find out what becomes of him and the rest of the lovable cast, who are increasingly joined by a fifth character, the Sakisaka herself, whose liner notes continue to be amusing additions that reveal that the clumsy and lovable mangaka is perhaps herself suited and destined to be a walking, talking shoujo heroine. ~ twwk

Love Me, Love Me Not, Vol. 7 is available through Viz.

My Wife is an Oni, Vol. 1

While My Wife is an Oni is created by a staff member of the ecchi monster girl series, Monster Musume, Nadeshiko Yamato’s doujinshi isn’t really ecchi at all. Focusing on the relationship of a human husband and his monster girl wife, volume 1 is pretty much just adorably pure. Each chapter is a short two pages with quick showing snippets in the life of Tomoyuki and his tall, oni wife Mitsuki. They love each other so much—it’s undeniably cute. The art is great and just super-cute as well. Did I say that this doujinshi is cute? I love what the translators did with Mitsuki’s dialogue as well, incoporating English slang to emphasize her country roots. This series appears to be a winner—in fact, I liked it so much that I’ve already bought volumes two and three from Irodori Comics. ~ MDMRN

My Wife is an Oni, Vol. 1 is available through Irodori Comics.

Assassination Classroom, Vol. 7

I recently started a journey through the popular series, Assassination Classroom, recently completing volume seven. I’m glad I went into this series blind. It’s a fascinating work, in part because of their squid-teacher. Koro-sensei who seeks to foster a strong, competitive classroom where students reach their full potential. This pairs with the desire for one of the students to assassinate Koro-sensei in order to prevent the world being destroyed. These two divergent paths somehow work in this series. I can’t exactly explain how or why, but the unusual storyline does. I’m simultaneously rooting for the greatest teacher these students will ever know while also rooting for them to kill him. It’s quite the conundrum, and I think that speaks how well written the series is that even with that baseline level of confusion, I keep coming back for more. ~ MDMRN

Assassination Classroom, Vol. 7 is available through Viz.

The Way of the Househusband, Vol. 4

Volume four of The Way of the Househusband opens with an action-filled sequence, as Tatsu chases down a thief, at one point incurring the wrath of a group of dangerous hoodlums during his pursuit. Just when things are about to come to head, though, Tatsu and the others give up. Instead, they smile serenely at the culprit—a cat—feeding the stolen item (a fish) to her kittens. Those familiar with The Way of Househusband won’t be surprised with sequences like that, and as with previous volumes, the juxtaposition between yakuza and househusband makes for page after page of uproarious panels and more than a few sweet ones as well. Among the situations for Tatsu in volume four are a visit to a theme park with his wife; tutoring an associate in the art of making the perfect boba; and teaching kids with his unique spin on a children’s story and with math. The volume also ends with some bonus manga, one featuring Miku, a consistent a welcome face besides Tatsu’s in the series, which continues to find ways to make one basis premise hilarious time after time. ~ twwk

The Way of the Househusband, Vol. 4 is available through Viz.

#Manga #Love Me Love Me Not #My Wife is an Oni #Assassination Classroom #The Way of the House Husband #My Hero Academia: Team Up Missions #Boku no Hero Academia: Team Up Mission #Omoi Omoware Furi Furare #Oniyome to Kekkon Shite Shimatta Kekka #ansatsu kyoushitsu #Gokushufudou #Reader's Corner #Author: TWWK #Author: MDMRN

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nctwd127 · 4 years

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Arranged Marriage.

Chapter Seventeen.

Word Count: 3174

Warning: Mentions of miscarriage, minor domestic violence.

(The ending is my favorite.)

Everyone sat in silence as they watched my life be given away for the sake of a company I wanted nothing to do with anymore, I wanted none of this. I wanted to get up and run, run so far away from here and never look.

Start a new life somewhere else, I didn’t care where. Hide in the depths of the world and have no one find me ever again. I didn’t want to care who suffered because of my actions but I did. The boys had no reason to suffer because of me.

“If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

Yuta’s eyes left mine and darted behind me, to where Lucas was. No sound came from anywhere in the space we stood in, almost felt like we were waiting for someone to object but no one did. Even if they wanted too, they didn’t.

“I’ll object when the time comes.” Lucas told me while we sat in my living room watching a movie. We weren’t talking about the wedding but a scene had come up and he couldn’t help himself but say it.

I smiled and looked up at him from where I was laying on his lap, “I know you would.”

He ran his fingers through my hair and I tried hard not get sleepy but no use, my eyes closed and drifted into sleep.

“I want you to be with me.”

We stood hand in hand, looking at each other waiting to recite the vows that would bring us closer to the ‘I do.’

“I, Nakamoto Yuta, take thee, (Y/N) (L/N), to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

He finished with a big wide smile, showing off his pearly whites, giving my hands a squeeze. My heart felt heavy and the tears kept burning my eyes. I couldn’t bring myself to say the words after him. I looked at him, hoping he’d see my pain and not make me do this.

Yuta saw it, he saw it clear as day and he didn’t care. This wasn’t about him, me or about us. It was about the company he wanted and he didn’t care what he had to do to get it. He was going to have it and it was going to be under our names.

“Now for the bride to say her vows.” The officiator announced before repeating them.

The tears I was trying hard to keep in, slid down my cheeks slowly, “I, (Y/N) (L/N), take thee, Nakamoto Yuta, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

To everyone the tears represented joy and love, for the wedding and for the man in front of me. Their ‘awes’ were filled with emotion when Yuta wiped them away and warmly smiled at me. What they didn’t see was his eyes filled with warnings and threats to keep it together.

“In front of everyone here today, do you Yuta, take (Y/N) as your beloved wife, to have and to hold, through laughter and in sadness, through challenges and successes, so long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“In front of everyone here today, do you (Y/N), take Yuta as your beloved husband, to have and to hold, through laughter and in sadness, through challenges and successes, so long as you both shall live?”

Everyone was set free from the hold our parents had on their lives. Doyoung will thrive in his business, Hendery will do well and publish his books. Ten will open many art galleries. And Lucas will do whatever his heart desires with ease and peace.

“I do.”

We turned to get the damned rings we were supposed to put on each other to tie this thing together. When I did, I made eye contact with Lucas, he looked hurt and angry. So did Hendery and Ten, I know more than anyone, that they wanted to destroy this place and burn it to the ground till it was ash.

“I, Yuta, give you, (Y/N) this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you." He took my left hand and placed it on the finger that held the engagement ring. I hated that both of the rings were beautiful as could be.

“I, (Y/N), give you, Yuta this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you." I placed the ring on him with shaking hands and empty words that would hold meaning to any of either of us, not here and not later.

They were words filled with lies and pain, a past that never came to life. And it weighed down my heart because this could have been us, for real. If the past we had was still a thing, we could be right here saying these words with meaning.

Our little baby could have been part of this and best of all, we would have had our baby. Our little person that was both of us in one.

But that wasn’t the case. This was just another thing that reminded me of that day, that fucking day of the accident. It took everything away from me and now life was giving it all back in the most horrible painful way possible.

“I pronounce you, Yuta and (Y/N) as husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Yuta pulled me by the hands to him, wrapped his hand around my waist and the other behind my head and kissed me. It was soft and tender, with emotion only one of us felt.

We pulled away with the officiator presenting us, “Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great honor that I officially present to you Mr. Nakamoto and Mrs. (L/N).”

The applause were energetic and loud, everyone cheered for their new bosses to be. We walked down the aisle hand in hand, faking smiles and happiness.

Everything was going as planned until we got home after the reception.

“You can cry to hearts content now princess.” Yuta jeered once we stepped foot into our home. He sat in the living room with a smirk on his face staring at me in the hallway.

I balled up my fist and threw the bouquet at him, hitting him in the face, “I fucking hate you. Every little bit of you!” I yelled at him.

He laughed and picked up the flowers from the floor when they bounced off his face. Even though he laughed, his eyes held the anger of the world and he tried hard not to lash out but he couldn’t help it when I kept yelling at him.

“I hate you! You ruined my life! You forced me into a marriage I didn’t want for a company I don’t want!”

Yuta stood in front of me, breathing down on me. I didn’t even realize I was hitting his chest, balling my eyes out until his firm grip was on wrist holding them still.

“You don’t think I hate you too?” He yelled at me, holding my wrist much tighter it started to hurt.

“You think you’re the only suffering right now? You don’t think you ruined my life too (Y/N)? If for even a second, you opened your eyes and stopped thinking about yourself only, you’d fucking see that this hurt me too.” He yanked my wrist away from him and pushed me to the side.

He was getting ready to go up the stairs when I spoke words I shouldn’t have. But I was furious and hurt, my filter stopped functioning and they came out without even being processed.

“You don’t hate me! You never fucking have! And you never will!”

He turned to me and dryly chuckled, “You know nothing about me. You are no one to make ridiculous assumptions like that. And I suggest that for your well-being, you stop talking.”

I knew he didn’t because he used to look at me like that before, he carried the same spark and the same light in his eyes now that he did eight years ago.

Yuta fell in love with me again.

He never fell out of love (Y/N).

“You love me and it kills you that I don’t. I could never love you back! That’s why you didn’t stop this!” I screamed with such volume it hurt my vocal cords. The words came out with such bitterness that each one felt like a knife against his skin.

The back of his hand met my cheek and it sent me to the ground, “You’re already my wife, I don’t need you to love me.” He threw the bouquet at me like I had done so to him earlier.

After that he carried on up to his room and slammed the door. I stayed on the ground where I was in tears, holing my cheek. I couldn’t think of anything, there was nothing to think about.

What was done, was already done.

That same night, the wedding dress I was wore was set on fire in the backyard. Till it turned to ash with the bouquet of stupid flowers that I didn’t even like. The neighbors looked out the window and told me they were going to call the police, I told them to do so.

They never did.

As it burned, I looked up to Yuta’s window. He stood there shirtless with no emotion or expression on his face, eyes pitch black. Looking down at the scene below, the reds and oranges lit up his face and made him look like what he really was.

The devil.

That was the night that changed everything from bad to worse to a nightmare.

Every night after that turned into a screaming match between the two of us. Whether we were home alone or not. When we were alone, we would yell till a door was slammed shut or one left the house all together. It often ended with someone slamming a door.

When his friends were home, we yelled at each in a different room until Sicheng came and separated us with the help of Taeyong.

Jaehyun enjoyed the show like the madman he was and did nothing, ever.

Tonight was no different, we were in the kitchen having the pettiest fight known to man. About the smallest and most insignificant thing possible. It was almost childish how this happened every night for the past two weeks.

It started when he came home with his friends and I was in the kitchen and just happened to be with Lucas. He left them in the living room when he heard our laughs carry.

“You’re here again Wong.” Yuta sneered when he stepped in and went to the fridge.

“Unfortunately so are you. Come on Lucas, let’s go to my room.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me. What set Yuta off was when he placed his hand on my waist, to follow me out.

“Get your hand off her, would you?” Yuta ordered from the sink, maintaining his distance to avoid what happened last time in this very kitchen.

Lucas was about to answer when I cut him off, “Fuck off, would you?” I snapped turning to face him. I pulled Lucas again and started walking to the door.

“Don’t start this again princess.” Yuta called out before we made it out the door. I turned around to face him just to see he was much closer than before.

“Me? Don’t you start again with your unnecessary bullshit Nakamoto.”

He threw his head back in a laugh and looked at me again. His eyes went down to where Lucas’s and I hands were laced together, it happened all the time without us noticing at this point.

“Must I remind you, you’re married Mrs.Nakamoto.” He mocked. Now it was my turn to laugh, “You’re mother isn’t here jackass. I would never change my name, especially not to yours.”

“Don’t forget that I didn’t want this stupid marriage to happen so don’t sit here expecting me to respect because I won’t, ever.” I informed him.

Mentioning how much I despised the wedding and everything that came with it, always struck a nerve with him. Sure, doing so would provoke him, but I didn’t care. He did everything possible to remind me of the ring on my finger, so I returned the favor by reminding him how much I didn’t want it.

The night of our wedding, we swore to each other we would stop at nothing to make the others life a living nightmare. We weren’t happy so neither would the other and that was a promise we were willing to keep, no matter what the outcome would be.

Yuta took a step closer to me and that’s when Lucas got in the middle of us. He hid me away behind him and looked at Yuta, “That’s enough, the both of you.”

“You don’t tell me what do to.” Yuta argued back with a pointed finger.

Lucas turned his head to the side and took a deep breath before he answered, “I’m not going to stay here and argue with you. (Y/N), let’s go.” He turned around and took me out of the kitchen.

In hall we crossed with Taeyong who gave us a cat smile and kept walking, he was more likely on his way to stop the arguing himself.

We went up the stairs and into my room, he closed the door and cupped my face, “Why do you chose to argue with him like that baby?”

I pulled away and rolled my eyes, “Because he infuriates me. I hate him.” I whined and crossed my arms. Lucas walked over to me and hugged me, “I know you do but please don’t do it when I’m here because I won’t hesitate to beat him up.”

Lucas and I have been exploring the feelings we confessed to having the day of my wedding. It’s been such a breath of fresh air since that day, at least in just that aspect. Things have so far been amazing and caring. From both ends.

Things were starting to process between us, nothing sexual has happened yet and that was fine. We weren’t rushing it, it wasn’t a big thing for us yet. We just wanted to keep getting to know each other.

There was a lot to cover on his side just because it was mostly about me since the start. I learned about his heartaches, his favorites and family. It felt nice starting to get to know someone from the beginning again. And I’m happy that it was with Lucas.

We did have a talk with Hendery and Ten about it because they were such close friends of ours, mine especially. They gave us their blessing and wished us the best, partly because they already thought something was happening between us way before it had even started.

I did ask of them to not mention it to Doyoung, because I wanted to be the one to tell him.

Even though we haven’t spoken in a very long time, I still held that respect for him and the relationship that we had. He did as well actually because the day that I told him about Lucas and I, he ended up telling me he also wanted to tell me about a girl he was starting to see.

We ended up staying at the café for a while, talking and filling each other in on what’s been going on in our lives. I filled him from the last time we spoke till I got married to Yuta. He told me about going house hunting because he outlived his current home.

Doyoung couldn’t help but joke about his how his ring was much nicer and better than the one I had on my finger, we had a big laugh about that. I offered to give back the ring but he kindly declined and told me to keep it.

“Even though you never got to wear it the way I wanted you too, we wanted you too, it’s still yours. It’s still the ring I wanted to marry you with and it fits you better than it will fit on any other finger in this world (Y/N).”

My heart strings were tugged at and I couldn’t help but tear. He still carried the hurt of our broken relationship and I did too. But we agreed that maybe things were better this way.

We had gone back to his place for a box of my belongings, which was really just clothes. I know I could have just told him to throw them out but a part of me wanted to go back to the place I called home for the four years we were together.

Walking into the house felt surreal. Everything was still the same and yet somehow, not? It’s only been two months since the last time I was here and everything felt foreign.

The walls didn’t have our pictures anymore or mine, they were just blank. The living room didn’t seem to have the same light like it used too before. And his room, really struck me hard.

He rearranged it and everything was moved from its place. The only thing that was still the same was the little picture of us that he kept at his nightstand.

I went over to look at it, “You still have this.” I mumbled picking it up.

“I wanted to have at least one memory of us.” Doyoung whispered in my ear behind me. His hands felt like fire on my waist. His front was pressed against my back and his lips found my shoulder.

“Don’t you?” He asked, biting down on my shoulder and then moving his mouth to my neck, where he left wet kisses and licks, careful not to leave any marks. One of his hands moved to the front of my jeans, stroking in between my legs.

Maybe this was the real reason why I wanted to come back here, maybe this was the last time I wanted for me, for us. To have one last moment with someone I loved more than life itself at some point.

“I do, yes.” I answered, moving his hands inside my pants.

That was the last time we shared as one.

Doyoung still loved me and cared for me in way he couldn’t word and to be honest, I did too. Maybe it wasn’t the way we had before but I still loved and cared for him.

Nothing and no one would ever take away from what we had.

And that was a secret we’d carry forever between us.

Masterlist

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bopinion · 3 years

Text

Book of the month / 2021 / 01 January

I love books. Even though I hardly read any. Because my library is more like a collection of tomes, coffee-table books, limited editions... in short: books in which not "only" the content counts, but also the editorial performance, the presentation, the curating of the topic - the book as a total work of art itself.

Peter Beard

Photography & Art / 2013 / Taschen publishing house

In the early 1960s, Africa was a country largely unknown to Western societies. Despite the colonial past of large parts of the continent, there was no tourist infrastructure whatsoever, and in the sub-Saharan zone there was hardly any socio-political stability to speak of. In other words: a dream for adventurers and individualists!

Peter Beard was born in New York City in 1938 and began taking photographs as a young man. Coming from a well-off family, he could afford to study art with Joseph Albers at Yale University. As a member of New York's high society, he was friends with Truman Capote and Bianca Jagger, for example, and worked artistically with Andy Warhol and Salvador Dali, photographing fashion for Vogue and celebrities such as David Bowie and Francis Bacon on the side. His passion for photography was joined in 1961 by a passion for Africa - the combination of the two was to become his life's mission.

In 1961 Beard came to Kenya for the first time, met the Danish author and country expert Tania Blixen and bought a piece of land next to hers. He witnessed the population explosion in Kenya, which also meant the end of many resources and the threat to many animal species. The mass deaths of some 35,000 elephants in Tsavo National Park, which perished because they could no longer find enough food when pressed by humans, were formative for him. And he had his camera with him.

Beard had already written a diary in his youth. While "written" is not quite right, collage is more accurate, a style he now combined with photography. He used his photographs as a canvas, arranged contact sheets, newspaper clippings, postcards, and other collected objects, and embellished them with handwriting and typewriting, illustrating them with drawings and even animal blood. In this way, his life on the African continent became a synthesis of the arts: a mixture of photography, environmental activism and diary, which was published in exhibitions and books all over the world.

In doing so, Beard does not accuse, he simply lets the images work, combining beauty and cruelty. In his photographs, haute couture models feed giraffes under the Kenyan sun, and elephant carcasses bear witness to man's destruction of nature. Thus, a personal life became an artistic life's work, he takes the viewer on an adventure trip into his own world, which is so far from the spirit of the time of the ideal exotic destination. His pictures "tell of a life that was almost too big, almost too much for one individual" (GQ).

Over the years, my favorite publisher Taschen has developed a penchant for discovering the world in a slightly different way: from fantastic travel picture books to compilations from National Geographic's infinite archive to exclusive works by Sebastiao Salgado. It goes without saying that Peter Beard is a must-have. The 770-page tome with the name of the "author" as its title is my favorite, as it spans the entire life of the artist.

Although set pieces had long been known and loved, this collection struck anew, and the feuilleton was enthusiastic:

"An impressive monograph and an excellent opportunity to learn about and appreciate the full range of Peter Beard's remarkable life and work." (State Magazine, London)

"This XXL volume is the ultimate work on the oeuvre of this artist of the century." (Foto Magazine, Hamburg)

"This extravagant and excellent book is itself a work of art." (L'Express, Paris)

"Sprawling is Peter Beard's world of thought, one that cares for no boundaries, opening up a mythical realm, set between Soho and Savannah. A book in which one can and will lose oneself." (ORF, Vienna)

"The rush of images on the pages quickly draws you into (...) a world in which Mick Jagger and Andy Warhol belong just as much as the animal life of the Savannah, world politics, supermodel eroticism and painting. Big was this world, exciting and glamorous. It is equal parts pop art and Hemingway romance." (Süddeutsche Zeitung, Munich)

Beard's pictorial power is matched by a creative editorial team that explains, classifies, and comments. In addition to his Kenyan wife Nejma, they are gallery owner David Fahey, authors Owen Edwards and Steven M. L. Aronson, and art director Ruth Ansel. It's an academic setting that should be curiously abhorrent to the artist himself, who says, "My whole life has been about escaping art academy. Art academy teaches you exactly the opposite of art. I'm not a person who suffers from that. I'm just of the opinion that you should just do things and try them without giving them a lot of thought beforehand."

Peter Beard would have had his birthday the day before yesterday, but passed away last April: he was found dead at Camp Hero State Park, a nature preserve near Montauk, after having been missing for three weeks. So, in a way, he remained true to himself and his adventurous spirit to the very end.

Here is the link to Peter Beard's website:

https://peterbeard.com

#book #book review #coffee table book #peter beard #taschen #africa #Tania blixen #elephant #extinction #Kenya #photography #collage #visual diary #adventure #new york city

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duhragonball · 4 years

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Potpourri

I’ve been thinking about various storytelling things, not really Dragon Ball related, but I figured I could write them all down here and make something out of it. Yeah, like an old school Livejournal post, except I can’t write a sassy message in the read-more cut.

Okay, first, I’ve been watching a lot of AEW Dark episodes on YouTube, because AEW puts out a new one every Tuesday and it’s easy to fall behind on them. So it’s like reliving wrestling angles that I watched on AEW Dynamite back in June and July. One of these angles was a world title match between champion Jon Moxley, and “The Machine” Brian Cage, who debuted by winning a ladder match in dramatic fashion, along with his new manager, Taz.

Taz does a lot of the color commentary for these episodes of Dark, and Cage debuted around the release of Episode 35, so after that, Taz started using his announcing job to promote the upcoming title match and gloat about how his guy Cage was going to destroy Jon Moxley and win the title. Taz’s main argument was that Cage is absolutely jacked, which made him a success before, but now he’s got Taz coaching him in all the cool stuff Taz used to do in ECW: suplexes, submission holds, etc. Taz sells you Brian Cage’s world title victory like a lawyer presenting a case to a jury. At the center of Taz’s argument was his claim that Cage was simply too big, too strong, and too prepared for Jon Moxley’s finishing move, the Paradigm Shift. Taz predicted that Mox wouldn’t be able to apply the Paradigm Shift properly, and even if he could hit it, it wouldn’t be enough to stop Cage.

The plot twist came from real life, when Moxley had to stay home because his wife contracted COVID-19. There was a lot of speculation that he might get sick, and even if he didn’t, that he wouldn’t be able to appear for the title match. Fortunately, it didn’t come to that, and the match was simply postponed an extra week. During that time, Taz accused Moxley of ducking Brian Cage, which I wasn’t crazy about, since I didn’t like coronavirus being used in a wrestling angle. On the other hand, it did give Taz a couple of weeks to run down the champion unopposed. At one point he reintroduced his old FTW title belt and gave it to Cage because the world title match had been postponed. Good stuff.

So finally, Moxley comes back, and he did one promo before the title match, and this was his chance to respond to all the shittalking Taz had been doing. It was brilliant, because for weeks, Taz had been declaring victory, and he shut it all down in one quick segment. He brought up Taz’s claim that the Paradigm Shift wouldn’t work on Cage, and Moxley just said “well maybe I won’t try to use my finisher on him. No, instead, I’m going to target his left bicep, which was surgically repaired last year, putting Cage out of action for several months.”

And just like that, the tone of the show changed, where suddenly it looked like Cage might be in trouble, because his camp only seemed to have a perfect game plan, and here was the champion announcing his own counter-strategy in advance. “You talked shit about my wife being sick, so I will reinjure your arm.”

And it was awesome. At one point Moxley went for a pin, and Cage kicked out, only for Moxley to reverse the pin into a submission move on the arm. There were points where it seemed like he couldn’t decide which arm to target, and eventually I realized he was going after both of them, switching from one to the other as needed. It’s smart, because if you go after the good arm, he’s gotta use the vulnerable one to fight you off, and by doing that Cage basically handed it to Mox for his next hold.

Finally, Moxley had Cage trapped in an arm hold, and the whole time he was looking Taz in the eye, basically waiting for a submission or a ref stoppage, and Taz had no choice but to throw in the towel to save Brian Cage’s career. It was a beautiful finish because it sewed up the whole story. Cage never tapped out, so he still looks like a relentless badass, but Taz had to let discretion be the better part of valor. He mocked Moxley for playing it safe when his wife got sick, so Moxley forced Taz to make the same choice. Great stuff.

Second. I’ve been reading Darth Vader comics since Marvel started publishing new Star Wars stuff again. Disney bought Marvel and Star Wars, so it was only a matter of time before the comics began to reflect this. The smart thing they did was to give Vader his own title, which I like because I’m not that into the adventures of Luke and Han.

The first Vader series was twenty-odd issues featuring his fall from grace after the Death Star’s destruction, and his rise to command of the Imperial Fleet. Basically it charts Vader’s career between Episodes IV and V, though there’s plenty of room for other side-stories.

The second series flashed back to the final scenes of Revenge of the Sith, and tracks Vader’s actions before A New Hope. It doesn’t cover the entire period, but it hits a lot of the important notes. How he got his red lightsaber, how he trained the Inquisitors and hunted down the surviving Jedi, and how he built the castle on Mustafar seen in Rogue One. So it handles everything important Vader was known to have done between Episodes III and IV.

The third series, currently ongoing, starts right after Vader’s final scene in Empire Strikes Back, and I would assume it’s going to lead him right up to his arrival at Death Star II in Return of the Jedi. I’m really into this, because I feel like this is an especially overlooked stage of Vader’s career. Starting out, it seems to be mostly about Vader investigating how his son survived Padme’s death, as he seeks revenge against anyone who hid the boy from him. Of course, nearly everyone involved in that cover-up is already dead, so I’m not sure where this is going to lead.

All three volumes of the Vader title focus on the utter futility of Vader’s quests for power and revenge. His hunts for Jedi survivors was just something for him to do in his spare time, since the Jedi were no longer a threat to him. His castle on Mustafar was designed to give him special knowledge of the Force, but it only revealed truths that he already knew, or had long since rejected. His plot to regain the Emperor’s favor after Yavin was very satisfying to watch, but also pointless: The Emperor needed him too badly to dispose of him, and Vader’s still a patsy whether he’s the #2 guy in the Empire or the #5 guy in the Empire. And now this new series sees him chasing ghosts, trying to make sense of Luke’s refusal to join him. He wants some sort of answer to his dilemma, but the only answer he’s ever going to find is the one in ROTJ, where he sacrifices himself to kill the Emperor, the one thing he cannot bring himself to contemplate until the time comes.

What saddens me, a little, is the realization that there doesn’t seem to be anywhere else for Marvel to go with the guy. We’ve got an arc of Vader between Episodes III and IV, an arc between IV and V, and now V and VI, and that’s it. The only way to do another Darth Vader series after this would be to go back and cover one of those three periods of his career. And I’d be up for that, but the three series Marvel has done seem a little too decisive for this. Like they purposely planned these comics because they weren’t going to revisit the character again for a while. At least, not as the star of his own feature.

I guess I could deal with that. Maybe Marvel could finally get around to exploring the Sith career of Count Dooku between Episodes I and II, or work out some loose ends with the Emperor between Episodes VI and IX. The main thing that’s been on my mind about Vader, though, is this idea that the character could just be done, and laid aside.

This is something I’ve often observed about Cell and Frieza in DBZ. I still think it’s dumb how they brought back Frieza after Trunks killed him, because there really wasn’t anything left to do with the character after he got turned into a cyborg and instakilled. There’s nowhere to go after that. His character arc was to start as the Final Boss of the entire Universe and then to get reduced to a pathetic, minor threat. You can bring him back, but your only choice, dramatically speaking, is to reset the character, which means putting him back on the same track he’s already covered. There’s no way to bring back Frieza and not have it be a retread of stuff he’s already done once before.

Cell might have some interesting applications beyond his original story, but he’s too much of a slave to his purpose. His job was to carry on Dr. Gero’s revenge scheme, and that all ended when the saga ended, so he just seems out of place whenever he appears after that. This is why I’m glad Toei and Toriyama haven’t brought Cell back, although at this rate it feels like it’s only a matter of time. The thing is, if they brought him back, what else could they do with him?

With Darth Vader, all of his most important moments have already been covered in the movies, so all that’s left is to produce some side-story content. The old Expanded Universe tended to steer clear of Darth Vader, probably out of respect for George Lucas’ prequel plans. Later, the Clone Wars projects gave us more Anakin Skywalker than anyone knew what to do with, which is basically Darth Vader content, but not quite. That’s why I dig these Marvel books so much, because there’s never been such a sustained effort to tell a Darth Vader story like this. But once it’s run its course, the only way to keep using the character would basically be to start over. I have a hard time seeing Marvel do that. They’d have to get a new writer to retell those years like the first set of comics didn’t happen. That could be very entertaining, but it doesn’t sound likely to happen.

I’m not terribly worried about getting my Darth Vader fix in the future. They’ll keep making stories about him long after I’m dead. It’s just that I’ve been thinking about the limits of what you can do with one character. I’ve long thought that you can always find gaps in the narrative that can be filled in with new stories, but maybe that isn’t true. Maybe at some point, for some characters, there’s a finite amount of things to do with them. You look at all of the Anakin Skywalker Clone Wars stories, and I’m sure someone could write a few hundred more, but would it really accomplish anything that hasn’t already been covered? Is it possible to “use up” a character? I probably won’t know for sure anytime soon.

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drmedicsgamesurgery · 4 years

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Danganronpa Togami Volume 3 Part 7 (Summary)

Sorry for the short summary after 2 weeks, i have been very busy and this part required a lot of hard reading and research to translate. Good news is I will be much more free soon, so if you are lucky you might get 2 summaries a week.

Thanks to @enoshima-pyon @shockersalvage @jinjojess @hopeymchope for helping out!

One more thing:

IF YOU HAVEN’T READ KIRIGIRI SOU, DO SO NOW OR YOU WILL BE SUPER CONFUSED AS TO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. LINK HERE.

This feeling.

Why, why is it that when I learn more about the K2K system in this place, I feel completely confused?

This may all be fake. Maybe, I already knew that things would be like this? From the time when Borges’ anomalies became more and more obvious, I had begun to have already noticed it within my own heart.

My own story.

Originally, I was just an item belonging to Byakuya.

However, I also had my own story and I was destined to confront it at some point.

And that is now.

I drank cold coffee and K did the same. The old man just talked about the tragedy of Don Quixote. [1] He said that the scene in which all the main characters had arrived into an inn had become unreadable due to the language. He said even Kafka and Sōseki [2] still resisted like this.

Speaking of which, there are also very exaggerated incidents in the books of authors like Banana Yoshimoto [3] and Haruki Murakami. [4] People feel like these can be too coincidental or contrived. Is that also a kind of resistance? Or is it that an exaggerated incident is an indispensable element for an interesting story?

Anyway, the old man who was drinking coffee in front of me, by pure chance was also something of a long shot. I just so happened to meet him and just so happened to listen to him. He just so happened to be an alumnus of Hope Peak Academy. He just so happened to be related to the Bible Plan. He just so happened to have participated in the development of Borges. It's almost like just one big joke.

I don't know if K knows my inner monologue. He has been talking in the calmest tone since then.

"It was not long after the end of the 'The Worst Incident in the History of the Togami Family. A person who claimed to be an insider of the Togami Family found me. Presumably, the superiors had already learned of the 'Bible Plan' to some extent. The insider was begging me: 'Can you write a dictionary for us?' What a charming invention!’ Still, I wanted to find a safe place to hide Borges. The Togami’s wanted to learn the techniques behind the 'Bible Plan'. Although I don't like the phrase very much, it was a win-win relationship for both parties."

Shinobu, naturally, has grown quite distrustful from these explanations but K assures her that he only provided the dictionary aspects of Borges, and points out that while any ‘missing pages’ were on the publishers fault, it was on the ‘reader’ in how they used the dictionary. When K was called on by the Togami’s, Borges hardware was already complete and he had installed the K2K system in it. However, complications arose because instead of using Borges as just a dictionary Shinobu used it as a way that K describes best as someone “watching the Raiders [5] while playing the game at the same time.”

That was a very modern metaphor, but thanks to it, things have become easier to understand. Indeed, I have always been obsessed with “Journey Under The Midnight Sun". Writing "Journey Under The Midnight Sun" is my only value in life.

Since Shinobu kept using Borges to search things related to Byakuya in order to write his biography, the K2K System inside it became specialized in Byakuya. And just like it led a person into committing murder by showing him a particular book, it started showing to Shinobu a book recommended to her. It started showing only the reality she wanted to see.

Shinobu responds that she had no chance to learn about the Hasegawa Research Institute or the Ketouin Conglomerate but K compares it to that of the ‘Anna Karenina’ [6] translations and how Nabokov [7] commented on how many times the word ‘home’ appeared throughout them all compared to the original text. Eight in the English version, once in French and no more than twice in the Czech version. He ponders how many times the word appears in the Japanese iteration before saying that reading those translations can be touching, but there will always be an inability to grasp what the original was. This causes Shinobu to think about her conversation with Hiroyuki on the talk of translations and he encouraged her to read the original.

It’s like singing karaoke without seeing the lyrics. It should be alright, but it seems that there is something wrong with it, which makes people feel uneasy and fearful.

K sums it up with this: “In a nutshell, no matter how many correct explanations I make, your dictionary will not translate them accurately to you.”

Shinobu demands to be told what the actual names of the Ketouin Conglomerate and the Hasegawa Institute...only to become exasperated when she thinks K is joking when he says they are the SkinSkin Conglomerate and Clark Kent Research Institute. K points out as long she had Borges, what she said and hears really can’t be guaranteed. It has mostly to do with the dictionary installed in it. Because the multiple editors are different, the content is different as well. Like how the concept of love varies between definition and cultures and philosophy.

“Just like an analogy. In addition, because of their different levels of knowledge, their understanding ability is different. After reviewing the dictionary, different users will have a considerable degree of understanding of the meaning of a word. The dictionary thinks that it understands 'A', but it may be misunderstood to understand 'B', and when it is described in language, it is 'C', and this may happen."

Shinbu comments she doesn’t want to misunderstand the world, though K points out people are misunderstanding everything throughout their lifetime, like how someone made Gulas by following a curry recipe or how people have turned to terrorism because of watching “Island of the Evil Spirits”[8]. Shinobu, horrified, wonders how she has been talking to people. However, K explains it that as long as people get the gist of her actions, communicating with others should be fine. Even though her reality is twisted in distorted, her unreality is still set within the bounds of reality.

Yet, even still...

"I just want to see the real thing."

"This feeling is actually normal, but it’s impossible. Borges is like a mother who overprotects her child, hides everything that is not good for you, and only provides you with what you want to see."

"I don't have Borges in my right eye, so why is it impossible? Haven't I gotten rid of its influence?"

"Even if the child is independent, it is impossible to get rid of the influence of the parents immediately. A person who has necrosis of the right side of the brain due to cerebral infarction will replace the right side with the function that has been lost. The same is true for you as well. Now all the organs in your body are running at full speed, instead of Borges continuing its work."

"How hopelessly despairing."

"Don't say that. If it lets you see the truth all at once, you will certainly collapse. It’s because this work is still in progress. It’s so you can still see the world you want to see.”

The world I want to see?

Shinobu soaks this in and starts to lose it, repeating her belief that Byakuya Togami is God. K tries to snap her back to reality by reminding her that Byakuya is human and is destined to grow old and die. Shinobu, however, still continues her silent freak out as she comes to grip with this information.

With or without Borges. I am still myself.

This is irrelevant! Byakuya is God! It’s not that I put a sparkling aura on him or anything, but he is just is so shining! He was born to be the North Star! That old man doesn't really know what he is talking about when it comes to such a God! Byakuya is unbeaten, and Byakuya is invincible!

At this time, he still plays the world in the palm of his hand. Since then, the world has always belonged to Byakuya. This fact will not change, even if the sun expands and swallows the Earth. The universe is coming to an end, yet Byakuya is still God! I wrote "Journey Under The Midnight Sun" to let this truth pass on to the future, and wrote a completely true biography with Borges...

Ah, but Borges has been full of lies...hey? The reason why Borges lies is because I want to see such a world, right!? What I want to see is Byakuya as the world's God? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I need to drink Bufferin.

I seem to be in a mess and I can prove that this is why K that was so eloquent before. However, he did not say a word, but was quietly watching me. I don't know if what he is thinking is either "this would be the crash after a person knows the truth" or "it’s hard to keep faith now". Regardless of the case, all this really teaches people how to be angry...

No, actually, I’m not. This feeling...this is not how I actually feel! Honestly, I would like to use Borges to search for vocabulary related to feelings.

In fact, I want to let Borges manage me, just like before! Ah, no, that’s not right! Because I have neither hope nor despair. Since Otsuki was present as my brother. Since Kazuya became my younger brother. Since the day I was born into the house of the Togami family.

That’s when that moment started.

Hope won't make me feel splendid.

Despair won't make me depressed.

I don't need to use these things to spur myself!

Yes, I will get the approval of Byakuya Togami and I will get to work on writing the biography given by him!

...But if these memories are also just illusions that Borges have been showing me...things are going to get quite confusing.

"The picture."

After a while, K whispered. I stared at the painting hanging on the wall with my left eye, the weird creature that stood on the ground with a big nose.

"It's scientific name is the “Hopsorrhinus aureus”. This creature uses a jointed nose to jump like a kangaroo," K explained. "In 1941, this creature was found on the island of Hy-yi-yi in the South Pacific. This is a special sub-type of mammalian animal called the Rhinogradentia. [9] So far, 14 subjects have been discovered.”

K lists off the types of Rhinogradentia that have been discovered, including the species that has tentacles coming out of its nose that they use to walk with.

"How is it possible for there to be such creatures?”

“BAU UND LEBEN DER RHINOGRADENTIA was published in 1961 by Professor Harald Stümpke. [10]”

“Is there a book about them?”

“Yes, and it was translated to all over the world, causing there is a huge response. There should also be a Japanese version. You can check it out after you return to Japan."

"Then, what kind of book is it? Is it like a fake book?"

"The Foreword and Afterword are actually written by a real and famous zoologist. A review of this book was even published in scientific journals, and there are many related books too. How would you doubt an academic book on all the issues that modern zoology deals with from Morphology, anatomy, ontogeny, physiology, actions, diets, and phylogenetic evolution? With such an academically sound book, do you think you are qualified to doubt it?"

"There is no more direct evidence than images."

"I don’t have any."

"Why?"

"This creature is extinct."

"Extinction?"

"In 1957, due to a nuclear test conducted nearby, the islands where the Rhinogradentia flourished sank."

“It's a super-perfunctory ending.”

"Don't say what the ending is."

"So there are no photos? Since it was in the 1950s, there should be photos, right?"

"All the information sank with the island."

"I’m really speechless. There are no photos, anymore? If you can't investigate on the spot, there is no way to prove that this creature actually exists. This is really not credible."

"Do you know the Dodo?"

"A bird that is already extinct?"

"Because of that, do you think ‘Did this bird really exist?’"

"Of course it did."

"How can you be so convinced? The Dodo did not have any photos survive. The Dodo had once thrived on the island of Mauritius. This is only the testimony of the sailors at the time that can be proved without any other reliable information. Dodo, like the Rhinogradentia, are impossible to verify what kind of creature it was and what kind of life it lived."

"I remember seeing specimens..."

"There is a sample of a Dodo stored in a monastery in the Czech Republic. However, there is no evidence to prove that the terrible thing that is covered with charcoal is the real thing.”

“Therefore, the Dodo is a bird like a dove and a seagull, but the creature walking on the nose is looking for it. There is no such thing in the world, that is to say, common sense can prove that it is contrary to common sense, is false, can be judged by common sense."

"No, believe that the Dodo is real, but doubt the authenticity of the Rhinogradentia. This is not based on common sense judgment made, simply because you lack the logic to accept the existence of a real Rhinograde.

“You mean to say my lack of knowledge?"

"Reality and unreality are indistinguishable from the experiencer. I believe that a real person can see the existence of the Rhinogradentia it even if it is fantasy, and will also write an article to prove its existence. If a third party believes in the article, then the fantasy will be shared by them and become their common fantasy. By the way, when the book was published, most readers completely believed that the Rhinogradentia existed."

Shinobu cant laugh even if she thinks its too stupid. These people at the time had no real way of knowing the Rhinogrades were made up. Shinobu thinks about the Kudan, and thinks to herself that the Kudan definitely exists, like the Dodo.

People who don't believe that the "Kudan" exists makes me laugh.

“People are only willing to see the reality they want to see,” K said calmly "No matter how convincing a certain argument is, as long as people are unwilling to accept it, they can't understand the meaning of it. This pathology is similar to the story in Don Quixote.”

K then gives another example similar to the previous one before continuing.

“No matter how much we experience, how much knowledge we learn, it is impossible to have the same sense of reading as the readers at the time. That is absolute.”

“Absolute...” murmurs Shinobu.

K says as long as Shinobu believes that Byakuya Togami is a God, Borges would do everything it could to strengthen that position, even if what is happening is different. To sum it up, “The sacredness of Byakuya Togami, if you couldn’t find it, you would make it.”

What?

I...understand.

Now I understand. If Byakuya Togami is not God, then my world will end.

The only purpose of my existence is to write "Journey Under The Midnight Sun", and I couldn’t let that weakness and fragility of Byakuya be exposed to my eyes.

So I made up and fabricated the storyline.

I built the story I wanted to see for myself. Not on purpose, but because of Borges's interference. In order to make Byakuya Togami become God, I have created a lot of lies so far. I made people who didn't exist, created a group organization that didn't exist, and looking back I think I even falsified the past.

I now understood all of this and was mentally prepared. Although I can't say that I was awake...I have accepted the uncertainty of my brain.

I have accepted the fact that life has only just begun today.

With this realization, Shinobu stares at the painting and asks for the name of this animal and finds them cute. The Snout Leaper is what it’s called. Shinobu says that it would be nice if the Snout Leaper really existed, but believing in something and it actually being true are two different things. K says that belief is just enough.

“I still want to hear the truth, I want to know the truth."

"Although I don't know if I can't do it, it's worth a try."

"I didn't expect you to say that too."

"I didn't mean to tease you," K said shrugging. "At present, there is no Borges in your right eye. Then you have to look at the real things with your own eyes and update your reality. Although the information falsified by Borges will not disappear easily, but since you have found a path that convinced you, no matter how difficult it is, you should follow that path."

"I think so too."

"Then I’ll tell you something, maybe it can help you. Although it's just a hypothesis, the Despair Disease is more than likely a lie made up by Borges” he begins...only to be cut off by a piercing sound.

Just then, countless bullets penetrated the window and the kettle in the kitchen was riddled with holes.

Translation Notes: (I highly recommend reading these this time if you don’t normally.)

[1] Don Quixote is a Spanish novel by Miguel de Cervantes. Published in two parts in 1605 and 1615, Don Quixote is the most influential work of literature from the Spanish Golden Age and the entire Spanish literary canon. A founding work of Western literature, it is often labeled "the first modern novel" and is sometimes considered the best literary work ever written.

[2] Natsume Sōseki was a Japanese novelist. He is best known around the world for his novels Kokoro, Botchan, I Am a Cat and his unfinished work Light and Darkness. He was also a scholar of British literature and composer of haiku, kanshi, and fairy tales. From 1984 until 2004, his portrait appeared on the front of the Japanese 1000 yen note. In Japan, he is often considered the greatest writer in modern Japanese history. He has had a profound effect on almost all important Japanese writers since.

[3] Banana Yoshimoto is the pen name of Japanese writer Mahoko Yoshimoto. Yoshimoto says that her two main themes are “the exhaustion of young Japanese in contemporary Japan” and “the way in which terrible experiences shape a person’s life”. Her works describe the problems faced by youth, urban existentialism, and teenagers trapped between imagination and reality. Her works are targeted not only to the young and rebellious, but also to grown-ups who are still young at heart. Yoshimoto's characters, settings, and titles have a modern and American approach, but the core is Japanese. She addresses readers in a personal and friendly way, with warmth and outright innocence, writing about the simple things such as the squeaking of wooden floors or the pleasant smell of food. Food and dreams are recurring themes in her work which are often associated with memories and emotions. Yoshimoto admits that most of her artistic inspiration derives from her own dreams and that she’d like to always be sleeping and living a life full of dreams.

[4] Haruki Murakami is a Japanese writer. His books and stories have been bestsellers in Japan as well as internationally, with his work being translated into 50 languages and selling millions of copies outside his native country. His work has received numerous awards, including the World Fantasy Award, the Frank O'Connor International Short Story Award, the Franz Kafka Prize (yes really), and the Jerusalem Prize. Another notable feature of Murakami's stories are the comments that come from the main characters as to how strange the story presents itself. Murakami explains that his characters experience what he experiences as he writes, which could be compared to a movie set where the walls and props are all fake.

[5] The Raiders can refer to either The Los Angeles Raiders or the Canberra Raiders. Both are sports teams.

[6] Anna Karenina is a novel by the Russian author Leo Tolstoy, first published in book form in 1878. Many writers consider Anna Karenina the greatest work of literature ever, and Tolstoy himself called it his first true novel. It was initially released in serial installments from 1873 to 1877 in the periodical The Russian Messenger.

[7] Vladimir Nabokov was a Russian and American novelist, poet, translator and entomologist. His first nine novels were written in Russian (1926–38), but he achieved international prominence after he began writing English prose. Nabokov became an American citizen in 1945. It should be noted that a novel of his titled “Despair” (Novel), is about a man who meets a homeless man in the city of Prague, whom he believes is his doppelgänger. You can't make this stuff up, I’m serious.

[8] Island of the Evil Spirits is a film directed by Masahiro Shinoda. I honestly can’t find much about it.

[9] Yep, you Kirigiri Sou fans should be very blissful now. Interesting how K explains the non-canon routes of Kirigiri Sou to be based in “unreality”.

[10] Gerolf Steiner was a German zoologist. Steiner is best known for a 1961 book authored pseudonymously as Harald Stümpke on the anatomy and habits of the rhinogradentia, a fictitious order of extinct mammals whose nose evolved in unusual ways.

To Be Continued

https://drmedicsgamesurgery.tumblr.com/GameSurgeryDRTranslations

#Danganronpa #Danganronpa:Togami #danganronpa togami #DRT3 Summary #Danganronpa: Togami #Kirigiri Sou #Part 7

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i-guess-im-a-fanfic-writer-now · 5 years

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A better life (Chapter 3, Avengers x reader)

Chapter 3 is here! Please like if you enjoy this. Chapters 1 and 2 are on my blog if you haven’t read them yet. Also, if you enjoy this, please comment and/or reblog, it’s always appreciated and it’s honestly great when someone tells me if I made a mistake while writing, like maybe I repeated a thing several times in a sentence, maybe there’s a typo (although I usually take care of that within an hour of publishing a chapter/fanfic), maybe I just fucked a thing up, idk. Also, feedback, likes, and reblogs is how you’re gonna get the next chapter because it’s actually really nice to see that others are appreciating my content, and so far I’ve spent about 9 hours on the fanfic (I have chapter 8 started, I’m not even kind of done though), and while I am enjoying doing this, it’s always nice if people tell me how things I write make them feel.

Also, Clint is deaf. He signs 99.9% of the time and it’s easier to him, here at least. Please, please tell me if I fucked a thing up or if I wrote a thing and you have experienced the thing and know that’s not how the thing works.

Enjoy! Just to remind you, chapter 4 will be posted on July 30th, so there’s that! I’m not abandoning this fanfic until it’s done, as well. Edit: chapter 9 is out

Tw: bruises, shoulder grabbing, verbal abuse (words like pathetic, bitch, dumb), threat of physical abuse, implied (?) queerphobia, swearing

The man turned around to face you, Tony, and Peter. His hair was brown, and he honestly kind of looked like a sad puppy. When he came closer, you saw he also had hearing aids. You smiled.

When he began talking, you noticed that he pronounced his words very well. “Hey, guys. What’s up? I’m Clint Barton, by the way. Coffee enthusiast. Decent archer. You?” The two first sentences were the only ones not aimed at you specifically.

“This is Y/N. They’re my friend”, signed Peter.

Clint smiled at you. “Nice. So what are you all doing here?” He began signing too.

“Oh, they’re interested in archery. I thought I could introduce them to you, if you want to do this. I’m pretty sure that you two just knowing each other wouldn’t be bad, though”, Tony noticed.

Clint nodded and then looked at you. “Hold up, I get to teach you? I mean, I have done this before with my kids, so I guess I could. Sure. Yeah, let’s do this. You don’t have a bow or arrows, do you?”

You shook your head.

“Alright then, we have a few bows and a ton of arrows. Do you know anything about any of those, do you need some help choosing?”

“I’ve read about it, and I think a recurve bow would be great, and either fibreglass or aluminum arrows would do well with it. I just want to be able to handle the bow with either arm in either position”, you signed, unsure. You’d been learning sign language for a while now, but you never actually got to use it until now. At least with sign language, you couldn’t really stutter, but you did hesitate a lot.

“That’s actually a great choice, Y/N. You. I like you. Let’s go. Peter, Tony, unless you’ll be training with us, I’d suggest you get the shit out of here if you don’t want to get shot by an arrow.” You couldn’t tell if Clint was joking or not, but the two guys laughed and left the room, Tony holding the door open for Peter just as he did for you.

“Hey, uh, a thing. I just, I really admire you. You’re really awesome, and people don’t appreciate you as much as they should”, you signed to Clint, struggling to make eye contact. After Tony and Peter left, neither of you was actually speaking out loud.

“Aw, thank you. That means a lot to me”, he replied happily.

Clint led you to the bows and showed you which bow matched what you wanted, and he then showed you the arrows.

“So, would you like a demonstration and an explanation of how to handle a bow and an arrow, or do you want me to explain it and that’s it?”

“A demonstration would be great, if that’s okay.. thank you.”

Clint smiled and began. Every once in a while, he stopped to be able to show you how you should be positioned. “So, first, get you bow and your arrow. You’re gonna want to hold the bow itself with your non dominant hand, and you’ll be pulling the bowstring back with your dominant hand. Usually, anyway. You can practice vice versa as well, though it would take more time and effort at the beginning.”

“So first off, hold the bow with your non dominant hand, bowstring closer to your body, and your arm has to be over the bow, like that. You’re doing it! Then, you take your arrow and you nock it between the rubbery things on the string, and the front has to be on the arrow rest in front of the bow, while the bow is in this horizontal position. Precisely!”

“You have to hold the arrow with your bow holding hand so it doesn’t fall out while you do it. So then, you turn the bow back to its usual position and place one and two fingers on the rubbery things to pull the bowstring back. You’re gonna want to squeeze your fingers together to squeeze the arrow and keep it in place. Then you have to release the arrow from your bow holding hand, because your dominant hand is holding it on the string. You don’t want to hurt yourself when you shoot the arrow, right?”

“Aim, and release. Feel the arrow. Take your time.” And then he released his arrow, getting yet another bullseye. “Got it? If no, I can explain again, don’t worry about it, right? Oh, and don’t expect to be an expert immediately. It’ll take time.”

He sounded so sincere and kind. You nodded. “I think I got it. Thank you.”

You did exactly what he showed and you shot your first arrow. As you expected, you failed miserably, but you knew it wasn’t going to come fast. You just hoped Clint wouldn’t tease you about not getting it right.

“Hey, you’re doing great, kid. You haven’t shot anyone’s head off. Go ahead, get the arrow, and shoot it again. You can do it, but it’ll take practice.” He gently patted your shoulder and your body immediately froze solid. He must’ve noticed, because he immediately took his hand back.

You signed an apology and restarted the exercise. You hadn’t even noticed how two hours passed by, and it was already 5:16. You were having so much fun shooting arrows that you’d almost forgotten that you’d have to go back again. Tomorrow was Saturday. You were hoping you could get out and stay at Stark Tower the entire day, but it probably wouldn’t happen. Your aim was getting a bit better though, and Clint was quite happy about it and kept encouraging you, which helped a lot.

“Hey, I’m really sorry, but I have to go. I might return tomorrow, I’m not really sure, but if I don’t, I’ll be back Monday. Thank you so much. This was great. I don’t know how to repay you for teaching me, I -“

“Y/N, just repay me by coming back. You owe me nothing though. There’s a lot of other things some of my old friends and I could teach you. Fighting styles. You seem like you could be good at that, if you want to do that, that is, alright?”

You nodded again and gathered your things, painfully noticing that a bruise was starting to form where your mother had grabbed your arm a few days ago. You put your other arm over it to cover it and headed out. You left the building and calmly began walking back to the apartment, revising everything you’d learnt today. You were fully intending to continue practicing archery, and you kind of wanted to see what Clint meant by “fighting”. You were willing to learn though. And for some reason, you trusted Clint, Peter, and Tony. You’d been spending a lot of time with them, and you loved it.

When you got back, you checked your watch: 5:53. Nice. This time should be okay. You quietly opened the entrance door, closing it and sliding past the other rooms like a ghost. Silently, you closed your room door. Once again, after a few minutes, you went back to your music, trying to ignore the fighting that had broken out in the living room, and the general screeching sound of your mother’s voice. You saw your empty mug on your table and decided to go make tea for the hell of it. You had to show your mother you were back or she would create an entire situation in her mind again and you’d be at fault for everything, as usual.

As soon as you appeared in the kitchen, the yelling was lowered to angry whispers, accusations, threats. How dare you this, how dare you that, how could you, you’re horrible, etc. Earphones still on your head, you turned up the volume a bit to block the noise out. It worked. You couldn’t hear anything but your loud music.

Suddenly, someone was grabbing your shoulder tightly and you could hear screaming over your music. You paused your music and took your headphones off, heart beating like crazy, your breathing barely normal, as your mother screamed at you about how you’re a disappointment, how you deserve to die, how you’re disgusting and worthless, saying “did I fail to raise you properly, what did I do wrong, did I raise you wrong”. You were terrified. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please explain”, you managed to get the courage to say.

“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID WRONG, YOU PATHETIC DUMB BITCH!”

You shut your eyes, suddenly getting a sharp headache. “I’m.. I’m sorry, I don’t, please -“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP. IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD FROM YOU, YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN FOR WEEKS.”

You went silent, regretting your existence for a few minutes. Your mother dragged you over to your room, and pointed at something that had the word “queer” on it. *Oh shit*, you thought. *Shit, I am so fucking stupid. Crap.* This was certainly not ideal. Your mother, and all your relatives were, to put it lightly, queerphobic as fuck. This was bad. *There’s no way I can get out of this one.*

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! BRINGING THIS DISGUSTING BULLSHIT INTO OUR HOUSE.”

Your hands were shaking and you were barely breathing. Finally, she decided to let go off your shoulder and storm out of your room, loudly shutting the door behind her and causing you to flinch hard.

You quietly walked up to your door, shaking, and sat down next to the entrance to make sure she wouldn’t walk in on you crying, because that would make things even worse for you. After a while, you hid the object she had pointed out, and went to sleep. You fell asleep crying again, after thinking those days were over.

A few hours later, you woke up, covered in cold sweat, breathing hard, tears streaming down your cheeks again. You were exhausted and didn’t even move. You ignored reality for a few more hours until you fell back into a troubled sleep.

#avengers x reader #avengers x reader fanfic #avengers fanfiction #avengers fanfic #abused reader #avengers x abused!reader #fanfiction #fanfic #a better life chapter 3

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 4 years

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You will be mine - Chapter 15. Painful secret [Park Jimin x Reader]

Title: You will be mine - Chapter 15. Painful secret ➔ Chapter 16. Here! Pairing: Park Jimin x Female!Reader Published: 25 June, 2020 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore

You will be mine Masterlist | Masterlists

"Y/N..." I heard a deep voice coming from afar. "Y/N... wake up." I heard him again. I wanted to open my eyes, but they felt heavy and I didn't have enough energy to fight it. "Damn it!" He swore under his breath. I felt a gentle touch under my arm as it begin to be lifted. Soon enough a sharp pain ran through my side, making me scream in agony. I was trying to silence my voice into a lower decibel as the throbbing stayed persistent in my ribs. "Shit! How am I supposed to help you like this?" His voice sounded concerned and desperate at the same time. I tried talking but the pulling sensation, from the dried blood on my face, stopped my attempt. I heaved a few deep sighs before making an effort in talking again.

"Just... help me up." I whispered in a surprisingly hoarse voice. I forced my eyes open, heavily blinking at the bright lights. I looked over to Young, who was starring back at me, his face white as a sheet.

"I can barely move you without causing you pain." He tried to voice his concern, but you ignored him.

"I need to get up... whether it's painful or not." I smiled softly, pain clearly showing on my face as I tried to hid a grimace. He forced me into a sitting position, trying to shake off my groans and moans of the pain. He placed his shoulder under my armpit, while his arm went around my back for support. I swallowed a scream, trying not to worry him any more than he already was. He started gently pulling me up, but the pain was unbearable. I didn't even realise when my tears started rolling down my cheeks. I tried to take deep breaths, hissing through my clenched teeth, but as I stood, feeling my weight on my injured thighs, I growled out in pain. My whole body was aching, each and every part of me felt sore and the throbbing in my rib cage, didn't even let me concentrate on organising my breathing. I tried to rest some of my weight on Yoongi, but I didn't want to feel like a burned, keeping just as much as I could walk off with me.

"Can you walk?" He asked as I felt his stare on my face. My eyes were closed, concentrating on organising my breathing even if for a short amount of time.

"Yeah..." I breathed out, not being able to form any more words, without losing concentration.

"We will go to the infirmary first and then Miss Jung will probably call an ambulance. By the look of you, this is not something that will be treated on school ground." I nodded along, trying to minimise the painful groans working themselves up in my lungs. "What happened?" He asked as he started slowly leading me inside the school. I just gave him a knowing look without speaking a word. "They have gone too far this time." He stated with a frown across his brows, clearly worrying about me.

"You are no angel either... I have heard some stories." I tried to derail my physical pain with the conversation. Debating if breathing or walking seemed to be the more important task at hand, didn't help my condition.

"I don't know what you have been hearing, but I can assure you, that they are nowhere near the truth." I could feel his body tense up under my weight, but I didn't dispute it any further. I wanted to know about what they have been keeping away from me, but the time never seemed right to ask about it. So I just nodded in agreement. "We should call Yojin." He spoke after a couple of minutes of silence, forcing me to halt painfully, looking up at him.

"Noone... can know." I stated as firmly as I could, although I knew I didn't seem intimidating even the slightest. He started walking again, forcing me to move my aching body along him.

"This will not stay a secret, Y/N. You will not be able to come to school for at least days if not weeks. People will ask about you. Your bruises will not disappear in days and if I want to be completely honest with you, I am almost certain that you have got some broken ribs. Hell, Y/N, your face is covered in blood." He tried to argue and I knew he was right. But for now, I didn't need people to breath down on my neck.

"Just for now, please." I sounded more desperate, than I intended to be.

"I won't say anything for now. But it will be revealed before you know it." I nodded at his reply, knowing how right he was. As we arrived to the infirmary door, Yoongi opened it and tried to balance us through it. I tried not to put my whole weight on him, but I kept blacking out for seconds at a time.

Miss Jung was going through some files, when she heard the door open. She turned around looking at us with wide eyes, murmuring something I was unable to understand. She rushed toward us, helping Yoongi to bring me to one of the beds. I hissed at her hurrying movements, wanting her to stop touching me so abruptly.

As I was laid down on the bed, a relieved sigh left my lungs. Although the pain was persistent, the relief of being safe and in good hands made me feel at ease. My body relaxed as I laid on the bed.

"What happened to her?" Miss Jung turned to Yoongi, completely ignoring the fact that I was awake and capable of talking.

"She was attacked." He spoke, making me growl in disagreement. As if he has forgotten about the favour I have asked of him. "Is there a problem? I thought not, too." He looked at me with a firm look in his eyes, making me immediately feel smaller than an ant. He definitely had the aura of a leader, I didn't want to argue with. "I wasn't sure what to do. The only option I could think of, was to bring her here." Miss Jung started searching for some of her equipments in her drawer. I followed her eagerly with my eyes, not leaving her movements for a second. She came back with her sphygmomanometer to check my blood pressure and pulse, then she checked my lungs with her stethoscope.

"I didn't... catch a cold." I disputed her movements, but she just looked at me in contemn.

"As far as I'm aware, I'm the one with the doctorate degree." She spoke with a serious tone, sarcasm clearly present within. "Tell me where it hurts." She said as she started pushing on my lower abdomen. First on the right side, then switched and applied pressure on the left side.

"Hallo?" Yoongi spoke as he picked up his phone, turning towards the window, letting Miss Jung examine me. I turned towards him, hissing as the doctor found a sensitive spot.

"Where are you? You have been missing since mid class." I heard Jimin's voice. The volume on Yoongi's phone was definitely louder than it should have been. I could see he was thinking hard on an excuse. He looked at me for a second, but I just shook my head, not knowing what to say. I was thinking more about how he was taking his time to reply, which I was sure, seemed suspicious.

"Family stuff." He replied with a grimace, but I immediately knew something was wrong. By the expression across his face, I knew, he didn't even believe his own words.

"But you haven't talked to your parents since... well, years." Jimin replied and I could imagine the frown across his face. I hissed loudly as the doctor started poking against my stomach.

"Well, now I did." Yoongi replied quickly, but it just made it a whole lot of worse.

"Okay... I guess." He spoke, but I could hear the hesitant tone in his voice. "Anyways, have you seen Y/N? I saw her coming to school, but since then she has been nowhere." My eyes widened, begging Yoongi to say something believable for once.

"Erm... No?!" He replied, unsure of his own answer. He looked at me apologetically, whispering 'I'm not a good liar' before turning back to the window.

"Yoongi, you are acting weird." He said, pointing out the exact thoughts running through my mind.

"I..." I could hear as he started to speak, but as if electricity ran though my body, I had no possible way to force myself to concentrate on him anymore.

Miss Jung pressed her hand against my injured rib, with a slightly stronger force than I could have handled, making me scream out in pain. I tried to lower my voice, clenching my teeth, but that didn't help. The pain shot through me as if someone was about to pull my ribs out of their place. I started breathing heavily, almost gasping for air. I couldn't hold myself together anymore. I felt as my eyes got heavy, that they wouldn't open again for a while. I let myself shift away in content.

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to like the chapter. Thank you :)

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artemis-entreri · 5 years

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[[ This post contains Part 1 of my review/analysis of the Forgotten Realms/Drizzt novel, Boundless, by R. A. Salvatore. As such, the entirety of this post’s content is OOC. ]]

Genre: Fantasy

Series: Generations: Book 2 | Legend of Drizzt #35 (#32 if not counting The Sellswords)

Publisher: Harper Collins (September 10, 2019)

My Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Additional Information: Artwork for the cover of Boundless and used above is originally done by Aleks Melnik. This post CONTAINS SPOILERS. Furthermore, this discussion concerns topics that I am very passionate about, and as such, at times I do use strong language. Read and expand the cut at your own discretion.

Contents:

Introduction

I. Positives (you are here) I.1 Pure Positives I.2 Muddled Positives

II. Mediocre Writing Style II.1 Bad Descriptions II.2 Salvatorisms II.3 Laborious "Action"

III. Poor Characterization III.1 "Maestro" III.2 Lieutenant III.3 Barbarian III.4 "Hero" III.5 Mother

IV. World Breaks IV.1 Blinders Against the Greater World IV.2 Befuddlement of Earth and Toril IV.3 Self-Inconsistency IV.4 Dungeon Amateur IV.5 Utter Nonsense

V. Ego Stroking V.1 The Ineffable Companions of the Hall V.2 Me, Myself, and I

VI. Problematic Themes VI.1 No Homo VI.2 Disrespect of Women VI.3 Social-normalization VI.4 Eugenics

VII. What's Next VII.1 Drizzt Ascends to Godhood VII.2 Profane Redemption VII.3 Passing the Torch VII.4 Don't Notice Me Senpai

Positives

I've found that the untrammeled positive elements of Boundless exclusively have to do with solid turns of phrase peppered throughout the book. There are also semi-positives in terms of characterizations and literary devices that Salvatore uses, but these are at best mixed.

Pure Positives

Salvatore pulls off some surprisingly good descriptions in Boundless through the usage of a more varied vocabulary than his standard repertoire, evocative imagery, compelling metaphors, and other effective strategies. An example of a good passage is, "The demon responded with a word of its own, a croaking, grating combination of hard syllables that sounded to Regis like a porcupine being rubbed across the flesh of a giant frog." in normal Salvatore tradition, the description would've been left without the metaphor. Heck, I'm not even sure that "croaking" and "grating" would've been employed in regular Salvatore fashion. In addition to speaking to the imagination, the metaphor evokes the fantastical nature of the world, a world where giant frogs exist, ones that wouldn't simply rupture when a porcupine is rubbed against them. Furthermore, the metaphor harmonizes with the adjective earlier in the sentence, for even though the frog is not the thing doing the croaking, "croaking" matches frog, just as grating matches porcupine quills.

Another example of solid writing in Boundless can be found here, "Every syllable hit Rethnorel the way the flowing breath of a speaker might make the flame of a candle blow back." Like the previous example, this one combines the usage of a noun associated with an uncommon adjective and demonstrative imagery to good effect. The metaphor shows us that the character is buffeted in an almost soft manner, for such is the flicker of a candle, but it is a continuous assault. A line that is almost too good to imagine coming from Salvatore is, "...scurrying along like a pair of giant rats fleeing the purring pursuit of a hungry displacer beast." This description is short, concise, and yet contains so many effective elements: "scurrying" instead of "running", the alliteration in "purring pursuit", and of course, alluding to a unique creature specific to the world. Putting all of these elements together paints an expressive image of an earnest and high-speed chase, the predator full of pleased anticipation but the necessity of its hunt not allowing its contentment to tamper its progress.

A passage that I wish every Salvatore paragraph could emulate is this one, "Even the way she talked grated on him, every bitten-off word making him feel like someone was running the bark of an old and gnarly oak tree down the back of his neck. It seemed like this drow woman could barely get the words out of her mouth, so tight was her jaw, and when they did come out, they carried the hissing timbre of an open fire in a downpour." The standard Salvatore version of this would be something along the lines of, "Even the way she talked grated on him. Every word was bitten off tightly", which, granted is more concise than what was published, but falls far from embodying the soul of wit in its brevity. The imagery in the published metaphor more than lets us hear the way the female character talks, it lets us feel it. So, too, can we feel what it'd be like to try to talk while our jaws are locked. "Hissing timbre" is a beautiful description on its own, but combined with inciting a sound that everyone can at least imagine, even if they may not have heard firsthand, results in a punchy and effective description. An example of another effective description, and one that doesn't make use of a metaphor is, "Some time later, they lay beside each other, the soft glow of candlelight catching pinpricks of sparkle in the beads of sweat they both wore." Sweat is not normally an attractive feature, even when it's associated with a sexy scene. The way that this imagery is presented however invokes a sense of soft decadence, as though the characters were covered with a delicate and exotic garment strewn with countless pearls. The many sparkles from this "garment" help to further set the romantic mood far more than the soft candlelight would have done by itself. Although the description, "bag of demonic despair", doesn't look like much when presented by itself, and isn't as strong as the preceding examples, it's worth a mention because of how it adequately serves as a concise summary. The object that it refers to is Entreri enveloped in an unbreakable cocoon that an unknown demon trapped him in. The word "cocoon" shows up many times in relation to this object, and admittedly, is an concise, if a bit bland, way to describe the object from both within and without. Inside the encasement, Entreri is held in a state of perpetual torment, whilst outside Dahlia, and to a much lesser extent, Regis, are worrying about his condition. Perhaps "demonic" could be replaced with another adjective but overall I'm fine with the way it is, for anything referring more to Entreri's suffering might run the risk of sounding melodramatic.

"Running stride" is also worth noting because in a world that doesn't use the same units of measurements that we do, it's always jarring when inches, feet, and miles are cited, especially when readers of the text hail from countries that aren’t the US. Without the known common terms, it is understandably difficult to effectively convey distances in a concise and comprehensible way, so units of measurements like this example are wonderful because they use something that we all understand, and do so without breaking immersion.

Tasteful omission is as important as smart inclusion. I'd criticized Salvatore for trying too hard in Timeless by using "fashioned" in in awkward way, and he's dropped this altogether in Boundless. By the same token, "six hundred pounds of panther" doesn't appear at all. Salvatore's favorite adjectives, "magnificent" and "fine", are both used better in Boundless. The former appears thirteen times in Boundless but unlike in Timeless, the usage of most of them aren't vague and lazy ways of characterizing splendid objects, characters, or actions. Six of those thirteen usages can maybe be improved still, but that is already a huge positive change from the fourteen out of seventeen occurrences in Timeless. Meanwhile, "fine" appears fifty times, but many of that is part of modifiers like finer, finest, etc, and through a cursory scan, by itself, relatively few are used in inane ways.

Muddled Positives

Aside from the examples in diction above, Boundless does contain praiseable elements, specifically even in areas where I usually criticize Salvatore. There are moments of decent, even good, characterization, and some of the negative potential I'd feared Timeless was leading towards are not realized in Boundless. Furthermore, there are improvements to be found in the themes that Salvatore employs, and some descriptors stand up to fact-checking.

One of my biggest criticisms of Salvatore is that he routinely disrespects what I describe as the beautiful tapestry of the Realms, which was woven together by the hands of many creatives who worked in harmony. In Boundless, the amount that Salvatore insensitively scribbles his name in Sharpie over the tapestry is reduced. Ironically, sometimes Salvatore scribbles over the portions of the tapestry that he'd worked with others to create, but in Boundless, he doesn't perpetuate this disservice to both himself and others as much as he has in the past. For better or worse, Salvatore did create a lot of information about drow, though his work is mostly limited to the city of Menzoberranzan. While the Drizzt books contain the most drow content than any other FR novel series, they've done so through their sheer volume, and they mainly portrayed the drow in a one-dimensional fashion. Just as there are many more drow settlements than the fanatic Menzoberranzan, so too, are even Menzoberranzanyr drow capable of qualities other than scheming self-service in the name of dedication to Lolth. In Boundless, we see more dimensions to the drow characters presented. Zaknafein is not the only drow in Menzoberranzan who possesses a moral compass. Loyalties born of motivations other than pride exist beyond the Do'Urden bloodline, with familial concern and the kind of love that'd been described as being unknown to drow inspiring or dissuading murderous deeds. In previous books, the closest that we got to "non-evil" drow were drow who had the potential to be good, perhaps even living for awhile in a goodly way, but eventually and inevitably squandering that potential. For example, Drizzt's sister Vierna was not as cruel as the other Do'Urden females, but ultimately, through trying to seduce her own brother and then turning a different brother into a drider, turned out to be just as bad as the rest of the Lolthites. Another similar example could be found with Tos'un Armgo, whom although having created a family with a surface elf, ultimately participated in the murder of his own family and returning himself and his daughter to the depraved society of Menzoberranzan.

In Boundless, although the priestess Dab'nay Tr'arach follows a course similar to Tos'un, her path is much more nuanced, and although she squanders her morality for station, she does so with great ambivalence and regret. Dab'nay's house is long destroyed, with she and her siblings' surnames changed to reflect this. She stands to gain nothing by preserving members of her bloodline, but nonetheless, she endangers her own life to see that her brother isn't killed, a selfish thought of rebuilding her long-lost house not at all factoring in to her concern for her kin. It is also clear from actions such as Dab'nay running her finger playfully along the top of Zaknafein's nose while telling him that he, not his services, were worth waiting for, that the feelings that she develops for him are more than those a female in a matriarchal society entertains towards a favored pet or sex object. Dab'nay allows her vulnerability to show in Zaknafein's presence and does not conceal the tears she sheds for the way that they must live their lives. She also fears for Zaknafein's safety even though she'd arguably stand to gain from his demise, and feels guilt for implicating him negatively for the sake of her own survival. Before the Generations trilogy, these qualities were not possible in any genuine or long-lasting way in any priestesses of Lolth, not even a disgraced one. Prior, a disgraced priestess who isn't killed or turned into a drider would become even more dangerous, with having nothing to lose by concentrating the proverbial venom in her veins.

Dab'nay isn't the only Menzoberranzanyr drow who demonstrates the capacity for multiple dimensions in Boundless. So, too, does Harbondair Tr'arch and Arathis Hune. Harbondair possesses the same familial loyalty as Dab'nay, and, like his sister, possesses the ability to genuinely overcome past prejudices. Despite Zaknafein having destroyed his house and despite Zaknafein issuing him a death threat should he attempt to harm him again, Harbondair grows to develop a real friendship with Zaknafein. Arathis, while definitively more "evil" than the Tr'arch siblings, is motivated by more than his rank in Bregan D'aerthe to eventually go to a head against Zaknafein. It's never stated that Arathis' rivalry with Zaknafein isn't based solely in Arathis feeling threatened in his second-in-command position. However, from the way that Arathis is described to behave while Zaknafein is absent, Arathis appears to be motivated by jealousy that he's no longer Jarlaxle's favorite and most trusted follower. Jarlaxle makes it abundantly clear on numerous occasions that he considers Zaknafein and Arathis equally valuable, hence why he prohibited either from trying to kill the other, so were Arathis worried about his position in the mercenary band, he needn't have gone so far because he and Zaknafein were equals in that regard but Zaknafein was definitely his better in combat. However, there can only be one favorite, a fact that Arathis couldn't engineer, but because he could ignore it when Zaknafein was away, his mood was noticeably better when he was the only lieutenant by Jarlaxle's side. It's actually quite pleasant that Salvatore didn't spell out the nature of Arathis' motivations, the way that Arathis is successful in that it is shown and not told to us. Unfortunately, Arathis' fate is soon met, which is probably for the best, as this lets him safely fall into the "gets killed off before too many books ruin him" category that I'd previously (and prematurely) populated with Zaknafein.

Although the Boundless version of Jarlaxle continues to be consistent with the Timeless version of Jarlaxle, ergo de-fanged to his current timeline self rather to the much more morally ambiguous character he was in the earlier Drizzt books, there is a comical and memorable scene in Boundless that is true to Jarlaxle's irrepressible humor even whilst in the middle of delivering a solemn ultimatum. While forbidding Zaknafein from going after Arathis Hune, Jarlaxle manages to bring a smile to the very angry weapons master by assuring him that in any other circumstance, "I promise you, if we two were trapped in a cave alone and starving, I would not kill you. But if you died first, I cannot promise that I wouldn't eat you."

There are improvements in Boundless even when it comes to the less morally gray drow of Menzoberranzan. One such individual that gets a more profound treatment is Mez'Barris Del'Armgo, the future Matron Mother of the second house of Menzoberranzan. During Boundless, her mother holds that title, and House Barrison Del'Armgo is far from its destined ranking. High Priestess Mez'Barris, the most promising member of her house, has her position recognized by being the only one allowed to copulate with the strange and giant Uthegentel, a dubious honor that the other priestesses aren't interested in anyway. Other priestesses tease Mez'Barris' preference of Uthegentel because "it was unusual, almost unheard of, for a drow woman to be attracted to a man so physically superior to her". However, "Mez'Barris couldn't deny the thrill she felt when Uthgentel so easily tossed her up upon his hips, holding her aloft while he took her, never tiring. He threw her about as if she were a child, but he knew how to throw her indeed!" Other than the more than slightly disturbing analogy to a child in the context of a sexual setting, which really could've been better done comparing Mez'Barris to anything else, a rag doll maybe, or heck, even an animal, there are a lot of things going on in the description of Mez'Barris and Uthegentel's relationship dynamic that are pretty outstanding for Salvatore. First, it is made clear in no uncertain terms that Uthegentel's size is unusual, which directly addresses the misconception that elves in the Forgotten Realms are larger than humans. Elves are larger than humans in worlds such as Middle-Earth and Azeroth, but this is not generally the case on Toril. Second, Boundless specifically states with regards to Uthegentel, "He was stronger than the women, too -- another anomaly among the drow -- and was easily the strongest dark elf in the city. Even with magical assistance, other men could not match him, and even with Lolth-blessed spells of physical enhancement, other women couldn't, either." An extremely too-oft practice among the many people who love the very popular drow race is to ascribe Earth human characteristics to them: that the males are usually bigger than the females. Drow of the Forgotten Realms, like many animals of our world, are a species in which the females are larger and stronger than the males. The aspect that stands out the most about Mez'Barris and Uthegentel is a message about reversed gender roles and how, by conforming to the norm, one might miss out on some very exciting experiences. I don't really dare hope that this is a message that Salvatore was consciously conveying, but it would be pretty awesome if it was intentional on his part. Taking that message and reversing the genders for our patriarchal world, if Salvatore could encourage the idea that men do not become any less masculine when they break conventional ideologies of what a man should be, I would be willing to consider putting serious effort into building him a pedestal, and even gazing upon it favorably from time to time.

There's one other thing going on with Mez'Barris with relation to Uthegentel, specifically, "as it pertains to the other priestesses' teasing, "'How can you be with a man who is stronger than you?' most women asked, seeming sincerely aghast at the thought. 'It isn't natural! Are you sure that you don't simply prefer the bed company of women?" Mez'Barris was sure." I'd actually completely overlooked this three times: as I was doing my read-through, as I was organizing my notes, and as I was reviewing my notes. It occurred to me, while I was writing the previous paragraph, that Mez'Barris' certainty about her preference of Uthegentel isn't based in anything sapphic, which, added to the fact that Boundless doesn't contain any gratuitous lesbian sex scenes means that Boundless is the first Drizzt book in quite possibly forever in which Salvatore doesn't fetishize female/female non-heterosexuality. This is, if it is what it is, HUGE. One of the things for which I regularly criticize Salvatore is how frustratingly often he drops in a female/female sex scene or has implied female/female sexytimes going on. Specifically its that this happens in a totally non-representative manner because, of course, the same treatment isn't even considered in terms of male/male representation. I've gone into this enough in the past and I'll go into it again later so there's no need to do that here, but seriously, just the fact that not once do we have anything even close to some random priestess whose name we won't remember banging this other random priestess whose name we similarly won't remember is such a large improvement. And with Mez'Barris conveying the reverse gender role ideology with Uthegentel, if Salvatore intentionally did all of this, I would totally consider, yet again, and pardon my french, building that fucking pedestal and putting him on it.

Dab'nay and Mez'Barris are two very different priestesses, but their respective scenes of intimacy are better done than such scenes in previous Drizzt books. The passion in Dab'nay and Zaknafein scenes are marked by affection, whereas in Mez'Barris and Uthegentel they're solely lustful. There is tenderness, even hints of trust, between Dab'nay and Zaknafein, whereas what's between Mez'Barris and Uthegentel is detached and mercenary. One is a silken handkerchief while the other is a stinging riding crop, and though each priestess doesn't feel jealousy that her lover is ridden by others, one willingly rents him out, while the other has thoroughly accepted that she is not entitled to possessive emotions.

The drow aren't the only characters who enjoy improved literary treatment in Boundless. The dramatis personae of the World Above receive some refreshing new dimensions. Wulfgar specifically, who has been hammered flat even prior to his resurrection, becomes more than a plot device that fights as much as he beds. Since his resurrection, the carefree barbarian has been primarily embodying getting the most out of his second life by sleeping with anyone and everyone willing to do so. In Boundless, we're told that Wulfgar has been with Penelope Harpell exclusively, even though she is a much older woman and, as Penelope herself realizes, Wulfgar can get practically any younger woman that he wants so he chooses. However, Wulfgar chooses Penelope and exclusively Penelope, because he's enamored with her confidence and authenticity. One of the things that I criticize Salvatore for is his poor handling of female characters, especially with regards to how the most redeeming features for his female characters are youth and beauty. For instance, Drizzt and Catti-brie's supposed great love has never been tested "on screen", for Catti died in her forties and was returned to Drizzt's side as a hot young thing. We never got to see how the glorious hero would've behaved as his mortal wife grew old and frail while he remained young and hale. Drizzt might've told himself that he'd never think Catti ugly, but he was never tested. Admittedly, Penelope isn't super old, but having the hunk that is young Wulfgar faithfully and exclusively stay by her side goes some distance in making up for the previous treatment and portrayal of women in the Drizzt books. The only downside to Wulfgar and Penelope is that their scenes of intimacy are awkward to the point of cringe-worthy, which suggests to me that Salvatore is writing outside of his comfort zone. Nonetheless, he's giving it an honest effort, and even though it doesn't work out, it looks to be a genuine attempt, for there aren't any contradictory messages in Wulfgar and Penelope's relationship.

Boundless is the first time that we see Dahlia up and about since Night of the Hunter. I'd feared that Salvatore was going to have Kimmuriel fix more than the damage wrought unto her by Methil El-Viddenvelp. It would've been an easy and lazy plot device, along the same lines of Idalia's Flute and the aboleth's influence in "developing" Entreri. Thankfully, Kimmuriel has not undone Dahlia's past traumas, nor even eliminated the more recent ones and the personality flaws that she has as a result of those traumas. What we see in Boundless is that Dahlia is still who she was during the Neverwinter Saga, modified by the experiences of her relationship with Entreri. As we follow Dahlia through a Waterdhavian nobles' ball, in addition to learning more about her through her thoughts, we're able to glean additional information through her physical appearance. Most of those details that are mentioned in the past, but certainly don't hurt to see repeated. For instance, "She was tall for an elf, nearly six feet, with black hair that she dyed with streaks of cardinal red." Specifics like height tend to be vague in Salvatore's writing, for after so many books it's clear that he can't keep track of his own details, so it's good to see Dahlia's, and even better that, once again, Salvatore reminds the readers that elves in Toril tend to be short. It's good to see that Dahlia still wears the diamonds she'd accrued from her years of being a black widow, for even though she's abandoned those practices, she hasn't abandoned her past and who she was. Furthermore, she now wears her hair in the manner that she'd use for her softer guise when she was with Drizzt, except this is presumably neither an illusion nor as a result of trying to manipulate Entreri as she did with it and Drizzt. It's a subtle reminder of how things have changed for her in a lasting way.

In the previous books, we'd only seen Dahlia be angry, vindictive, selfish and petty. Although I'd always liked her more than any of Salvatore's other female characters, my opinion regarding Dahlia is an unpopular one. Dahlia felt very much like a character that Salvatore wrote for readers to hate. In Boundless, he appears to be trying to make her more than that. During the ball, Dahlia is comical, even silly, both of which can begin to endear a reader to a character. Throughout the rest of the book, Dahlia exhibits courage and loyalty so steadfast that it's easy to forget that she was once a villainous character, but she doesn't do so in such a way as to come across as goody two-shoes either. Dahlia is still very much not a goodly character, nor should she be at this point. Unfortunately, there exists a rather large problem with Dahlia, and that is her relationship with Entreri. In just as artificial as a way that it started, so, too, are we told more than that we're shown, namely, that Entreri had overcome his childhood demons and is now helping her overcome hers. The thing is, that whole plot with how Entreri overcame his demons by doing Drizzt-like good deeds doesn't ring true at all, and we're not shown how Entreri has been helping Dahlia overcome her own demons. I doubt we ever will, but I'll discuss the poor handling of Entreri in this book later. For now, I will add that I thought it was a good touch by Salvatore to have the apartment shared by the couple to be located in the Southern Ward of Waterdeep. The Southern Ward is, as of fifth edition D&D and the current timeline (~1490s DR), is no longer the poor ward that it used to be, which is very fitting for Entreri because he wouldn't want to live in the grimy Dock Ward or the destitute Field Ward any more than he'd want to live in the aristocratic Sea Ward, the Watch-infested Castle Ward, or the noble-infested North Ward. The Southern Ward is inhabited by common folk instead of hoity-toity nobles, with a good portion of its population hailing from southern Faerûn. Although Entreri's Calishite heritage is not given much treatment in the Drizzt novels, it would make sense if, even with his rough and austere childhood, that associations of home would bring some degree of comfort or at least familiarity. Waterdeep's Southern Ward is home to some of the best singers of Calishite music and probably the best examples of Calishite cuisine. The location of homes above stables or around inn yards allows us to accept that Entreri would have been able to ensure a good sightline of the goings-on around his domicile, likely a necessity for one of Entreri's nature. The only downside to all of this is that Salvatore calls the Southern Ward the "South Ward", a nomenclature that only fools would use, according to Volo's Waterdeep Enchiridion.

The best-developed member among the resurrected Companions of the Hall is Regis/Spider Parrafin, and this continues to be the case in Boundless. In the past, I'd criticized Salvatore on numerous occasions about how his heroes perform a lot more questionable actions on screen than do his villains. In the travesty of the series, Hero, I'd specifically noted that Regis and Wulfgar kicking people who were already lying down to be decidedly not heroic, even if the victims of said kicking were highwaymen. In Boundless, Regis doesn't do anything of the sort. No, in fact, he actually performs what would be a humbling or even degrading act himself by normal Salvatore standards, and conveys a surprising and important message thereby. Much like how I'm uncertain that the message conveyed by Mez'Barris and Uthegentel is intentional, I'm not sure if this is the case with Regis, but Regis admits to using his looks to get what he wants, which is unfortunately a strategy traditionally attributed to women alone, both inside and outside of Salvatore's books. When Regis states to Dahlia, "Because I do the same thing, as does my lovely wife, Donnola" as he points out that Dahlia knows how to use her looks to gain an advantage in her negotiations, he, in my mind, is performing a much more admirable feat than slaying a hundred rampaging ogres singlehandedly. Humility is a mark of any true hero, and although Drizzt and his companions are supposed to possess tons of humility along with other virtuous qualities, we see so little of those qualities. Instead, much of their actions are full of sanctimony and self-satisfaction. Another thing that was done well with Regis is his reaction to being in Entreri's presence. Despite the significantly de-fanged current nature of Entreri, and Regis' intellectual knowledge that the assassin wouldn't hurt him, Regis struggles to suppress the fear he feels in Entreri's presence. This is one of the few instances in which Salvatore correctly portrays trauma. Regis has more than enough reason to behave the way that he does, Entreri inflicted significant distress in his previous life, and, as Regis notes, "Was there any amount of time and any number of deeds that could fully erase that?" Regis' musing is at the core of many trauma victims' journey to recovery. Furthermore, there is no contrived PTSD in Regis' experiences like was the case with Drizzt in Hero. Accurate, too, is the way that Regis' struggle is focused on the stub of his pinky, with which he fidgets while fighting to hold his voice steady. This shows us rather than telling us that Artemis Entreri is still very much a trigger for Regis, and speaks more to Regis' courage in facing that trigger than had he been the one facing down Demogorgon in Menzoberranzan.

Those are the major positives in terms of characterization and literary devices employed in Boundless. There are also good points dispersed among the descriptions and interactions with lesser characters and incidental elements. While we're not quite sure what the demon possessing the little girl named Sharon is (or if it's a demon at all), Salvatore did a decent job of making Sharon unsettling and creepy under the creature's influence. It's also refreshing to see intrigue in a Drizzt book that isn't confined to Menzoberranzan. Although Salvatore doesn't do the intrigues of Waterdeep justice, he does make an effort to include them, and even if he doesn't show us a great amount of it, I appreciate the nod that he gives to its complexity through indicating that despite months spent in the City of Splendors, one as acute as Entreri hasn't been able to unravel the mysteries he'd been tasked to solve. Unfortunately, there's a total hiatus from the further development of the Neverember plot. The final thing that I wanted to mention for this section is a detail, that, although minor, stood up to fact-checking, which delighted me. A lot of Salvatore's action scenes and descriptions, despite going into overlong detail, are often impractical or simply incorrect. Towards the end of Boundless, we see Drizzt running with everything he's got, "his arms pumping for maximum momentum in the desired direction". I'm not a runner, so I had to research this, but I was ecstatic to find that pumping one's arms does actually help one run faster! Bravo, Salvatore!

That concludes the positive-oriented analysis of Boundless. From this point onward, I'll be performing my brutally critical and honest breakdown of the novel. Fair warning, it's not going to be pretty, because Boundless isn't. Sit tight though, and I'll tell you all the ways that it was bad in excruciating detail, for better or worse.

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