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epiclamer · 2 years

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CHEWING, CHEWING, ALL DAY LONG.

Part 2

(No reposts but reblogs appreciated <3)

The Auction

Villain settled themselves in their seat, shuffling a bit against the plush, expensive, padding of the chair. Adjusting themselves comfortably as they watched other guests pile into the large auction room. Everyone was dressed nicely, expensively. Which made perfect sense considering they were all seated in a large, royal-looking, ballroom that belonged to the one and only Supervillain.

The auction was held annually, each year in a new lair to avoid being caught by the heroes. Villain always went, they didn’t participate, even if they were sitting on quite a large bank account. They never found a hero interesting enough to bid on. After all, the only things being sold here were living, breathing, beings. Heroes.

Everyone from lowdown thieves to master-criminals would come to try and sell their captives, some would keep them for themselves, but often, if a hero was caught they’d be sold and forgotten. Villain had never really engaged in this sport, but they enjoyed watching the bickering over frightened do-gooders.

It was sickening and twisted, but that just made it all the more fun.

Villain was pulled from their thoughts as the host themselves grabbed a chair and sat beside them at their table. Supervillain grinned at Villain, holding out their hand and Villain shook it firmly, leaning forward to converse with their guest.

“Villain! Glad to see you here!” Supervillain exclaimed, waggling their eyebrows as they brought a fancy champagne glass to their lips.

“Oh come on, when have I ever not gone?” Villain laughed, despite the rank difference between the pair, they had always been close and able to talk and joke freely with each other. Villain treasured that. Supervillain was more than just an asset, they were a great friend.

“Maybe it would be different since I’m hosting it this year, I don’t know?” Supervillain fiddle with their fingers on their lap, letting their gaze wander about the consistently growing crowd. “Maybe you don’t want to see your pal make a fool of themselves up on the stage tonight…”

Ah, Supervillain was nervous. Very nervous. Villain reached out, taking Supervillains free hand in theirs and cupping it gently. “Hey, you got this. No sweat. Everything is going to be okay, and at the end of the day I’m going to be right here for you, okay?”

Supervillain let out a deep breath, relaxing completely under Villains words, looking up at them with glossy eyes—which were sporting obvious bags underneath—and lifted the smallest smile to their lips. “Thank you.” They murmured, Villain smiled back, giving the others hand a tight squeeze before letting go.

“Now get out there and kick some ass.” Supervillain sat up straight, reinstating their facade of confidence and unbotheredness. Shooting Villain a thumbs up before getting up out of their seat and heading for the large stage.

Villain leaned back in their seat, pleased with their efforts to help their friend—who looked much more relaxed now—as the show commenced and Supervillain began their introductions.

It was the same old, same old. The introductions stay the same every year, introduce yourself, how many candidates (aka heroes up for sale) and explain how the auction works. Villain had heard it all a million times.

“Now! To finally start the show, let’s introduce our first candidate! Starting at the sale of 5000 dollars we have the one and only… Hero!”

The curtains pulled back, revealing Villains nemesis, their greatest enemy, Hero. Their hands were cuffed behind their back, chains wrapped around their legs a little too tightly and there were countless bruises littering what little Villain could see of their body. Their eyes weren’t focusing, they were cowering from the light, nothing at all like their previous bravado. They were shaking, tear streaks lined their cheeks and they were gagged.

Everything in Villains vision went blindingly white. Hero was here. Hero, their biggest pain in the ass, was here. Hero, the one Villain had fought with, laughed with, flirted with, joked with, and the one who went missing many months ago. They had asked around, begged for answers on their missing hero. Nothing. They had even asked Supervillain and Supervillain had lied straight to their face.

“Caught them back a few months ago-“ Eight months ago. “They had no manners at the start-“ All of Hero’s courage. “But I trained them well so don’t worry-“ Beat them into submission. “They need a new home now-“ Selling them. “Someone who isn’t afraid to punish their pets-“ Someone to torture Hero. “Someone who can train them out of their defiance-“ Someone to use them. “Someone who can make Hero into their perfect, obedient, plaything… Any takers?” Plaything.

Supervillains eyes flicked over to where Villain was sitting in the front row, giving them a wink before they went back to the audience.

Rage coursed through Villains veins. Suddenly, their best friend had become their biggest enemy. They were going to kill Supervillain. They were going to wipe that smug look off their face and they were going to get their Hero back.

Villain didn’t hesitate another second, snatching their auction paddle off the table and shooting it up in the air. Unfortunately, they weren’t the only one with the same idea. Two other hands came up along with theirs and they realized that if Villain ever wanted to see Hero again, they would have to fight for them.

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asexualone · 3 years

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(pls take the time to read)

Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition

I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.

Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.

Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.

Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."

Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.

At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.

Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.

Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.

The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.

Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.

Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.

The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.

Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.

Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.

The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.

Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.

Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.

Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.

Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.

Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.

Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.

While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.

Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.

And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.

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mayorofcattown · 2 years

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I figured it was about time I actually solidified the designs for these two OCs (aka the wolf and deer boy I’ve mentioned once or twice) and was going to put it on the backburner until I realised ‘red themed deer boy’ was very seasonally appropriate, so of course I had to finish it

anyway I’ll go more in depth under the read more so as to not make this post super long, but the basic jist of their story is they’re from a universe with element magic, but where the magic manifests as physical features related to that element, and each element has light/dark alignments. Raleigh is a deer boy with plant powers and Valko is a wolf boy with well. werewolf powers what did you expect. Their story is loosely based on little red riding hood, hence well basically their entire design

I have also just uploaded the timelapse of this to my patreon if anyone is interested, link in bio cause tumblr is a butt

Going more into detail here, the magic system explanation is pretty much what I said above, with the light/dark alignments being specifically called sun/moon magic. Both of these two are nature element, with Raleigh being a sun mage and Valko being a moon mage. The sun/moon thing mostly just determines the kind of magic they have, it’s basically just sun= warm/defensive and moon=cold/offensive, it’s meant to be kind of arbitrary tho. The other elements are water, wind and earth (fire and ice are part of the sun moon alignment instead of being their own thing).

For their backstories, some of this may change cause it’s still early days, but essentially Raleigh is the bastard son of the king of one of the larger nature kingdoms, and doesn’t really fit in given his less ‘flashy’ magic and dubious heritage, especially when compared to his half brother the first prince, who is a literal unicorn boy.

He ends up getting sent on a vague errand to the small town out near the mountains where Valko lives, and Valko ends up deciding to tag along with him to keep him out of trouble. Valko works as a lumberjack, and doesn’t really say much else about his personal life, other than that he seems reluctant to use his powers for anything, relying only on his own brute strength instead, despite seeming to be quite powerful magically speaking.

I’m still figuring out what to actually Do with this story, tho it’ll likely be a game of some sort, just cause their designs are way too detailed to work for a comic even if I DID have the patience for comics lol... I’m thinking a visual novel, with different routes for each element, each containing its own smaller self contained story. These guys would obviously be the nature story, and I have a solid idea for the wind one too, tho I’m still figuring out the other two. It’d take a while to make, but releasing a bunch of smaller games is a lot more manageable than One Big Fantasy Epic Spanning Four Continents is. Still need to figure out what the actual Gameplay would be tho..... Either way I’m planning to finish OS:TRI (my sci fi vn first), just cause that one is Much Shorter, and its just further along story/design wise. So it’ll probably be Years before I can even do anything with these guys.

#I keep saying 'boy' they're all like. 20 somethings I just don't know a better way of conveying that the belong to the Cat Boy Family #original art #oc #original character #fantasy character #art

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dreamingsnowflake2013 · 4 years

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Frankly, MAME is brilliant. First, she makes the OTP share a room and now, she separates them, so she could give them an epic reunion lovemaking.

REALLY?! Because that’s exactly what happened. It’s a little too late for Tharn to play hard to get because he isn’t convicing anyone, much less Type; virtually everybody knows he is Type’s loyal puppy. I mean, not only did he literally kneel at Type feet and kissed his ankle one time, which is something even dogs rarely do, now, he runs out of his house without a second thought the moment he receives his text, without even changing his clothes, wearing those adorable stripped sweatpants, for Christ’s sake, just like the loyal, love-starved and horny puppy he is. Tharn can pretty much stop pretending that he has some hidden pride because he has absolutely none whatsoever or very little of it, at least when it comes to Type. It’s been clear for a long time now that Tharn’s whipped af, but after I listened to Type listing to his dad in the span of 30 seconds all the things Tharn does for him, it turned out that it’s even worse than I previously thought.

There is something symbolic about the way Type is waiting at their home while Tharn is rushing to him; and there is this beautiful moment when they notice each other. This is the first time they see each other after a month and they are literally devouring each other with their eyes, particularly Tharn who gives Type a careful, hungry look from head to toe, noticing every new detail and burning it into his memory. While the normally tough and stubborn Type sports such a peaceful, content smile on his face and he is so soft and pliant. We’ve never seem him so relaxed, giving and content like this. It’s what love does to a man. Type might still be shy to say words like “I miss you” or “I love you” out loud to Tharn, but he has his own way to express those sentiments and his love. HE might not know every detail about Tharn’s life, but Type KNOWS HIM. He knows without any doubt that Tharn will come running to him (seriously, he didn’t even write that Tharn should come home in that text, so sure he was that Tharn would rush to their home anyway) and deep down he even knows what Tharn wants the most - HIM. And he is ready to give himself to Tharn once again.

Each one of TharnType’s intimate scenes is unique and special in its own way, and this is the first time Type does something so openly proactive and blatantly romantic for Tharn. He’s seducing his lover, inviting him to make love to him in every way possible. Previously, Type’s sole kind of invitation was bluntly asking Tharn to have sex with him, but over the course of their time together he’s upped his game, becoming more and more thoughtful of Tharn. He’s even gone ouf of his way and prepared a welcome gift for him, the only gift he knows that Tharn wants - himself - even literally wrapping himself up in Tharn’s clothes, which must be Type’s secret fetish and thrill, judging from the many times he’s wore them already. Also, it’s as if he wanted to attract Tharn’s possessive, inner beast by wearing clothes which belong to him, just as he belongs to him, and which he can rip off him. Moreover, not only does Type tell Tharn that he’s late TWICE, which explicitly reveals how much he’s missed him, but he also admits that he always intended to give Tharn A WELCOME KISS. All these many confessions and revelations show how much Type has missed his lover. And Tharn notices everything and is so beautifully appreciative of everything, boosting Type’s confidence and rewarding his initiative and courage with kisses and sweet words.

The way they fall on the bed in each other’s arms is both so passionate and tender, their pent-up desires and emotions so tangible. Tharn exploring Type’s face and neck with his needy, reverent and ardent kisses speaks volumes about how much he desires to taste and make love to his boyfriend after a whole months of deprivation, abstinence and longing. He kisses everywhere he can reach - Type’s neck, lips, cheeks,... - as if he couldn’t get enough and wanted to worship every piece of his skin, everything that is Type. And it’s apparent how much Type wants and enjoys this. That euphoric expression is the embodiment of pleasure and ecstasy. They want each other so much that they’re making love in a bright day which is a first for them.

I often mention the barely noticeable, little moments in my posts and this scene contains probably my favourite and one of the most beautiful, gorgeous and profound of them - THARN KISSING TYPE’S CUPID’S BOW! The sheer symbolism of it is unreal! It’s supposed to symbolize the bow of the god of erotic love and Tharn and Type are basically the embodiment of the ultimate lovers and that’s exactly the picture they make during that kiss - IT’S THE WAY HOW THEY TOUCH EACH OTHER, HOW THEIR NOSES, LIPS AND CHINS AND BODIES JUST FIT SO PERFECTLY, LIKE TWO PUZZLES PIECES; AS IF THARN AND TYPE WERE TWO HALVES OF A WHOLE AND TOGETHER THEY WERE FINALLY COMPLETE. As if they were made for each other from the start. The destined lovers.

#tharntype #tharntype the series #mewgulf #analysis #ttepisode7

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hiccanna-tidbits · 3 years

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Hiccanna 100 OTP Questions Meme--Part 1

So I saw this 100 Questions About Your OTP post, and I decided to do them for Hiccanna! And...I am never doing one of these memes again, because this took forever XD I decided to split it in two to avoid just creating a giant Monster Post. QUESTION SOURCE: https://the-moon-dust-writings.tumblr.com/post/159857601812/100-otp-questions 1. Who loves flower crowns more? Anna is highkey obsessed with them! Especially kinda lopsided weird ones with sunflowers and shit. Hiccup likes them a lot too but is too embarrassed to ever admit it 2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle? Probably Anna tbh, she’s extremely huggy and cuddly and basically always initiates the cuddle sessions. Hiccup is secretly super grateful for this because he’s actually touch-starved as all hell but absolutely is not aware of it like cmon do you think big tough Stoic hugged him a lot growing up??? Kinda doubt it tbh 3. Who has awful taste in music? Depends on who you ask XD Hiccup has exactly 2 Music Moods--Stuffy classical orchestal stuff with a bunch of fancy violin and flute and whatnot, and edgy underground alternative hipster nonsense from bands no one has ever heard of. Anna, meanwhile, is a simple woman, who listens almost exclusively to shitty, catchy-butvery-unoriginal Top 40 hits and belts along with them to the radio, much to Hiccup’s chagrin XD 4. Who is the meme lover? A N N A she is a memelord supreme 5. How did their second date go? An...oddly specific question XD But I’ll take a stab at it. I imagine on their first date they went to see some high fantasy epic movie with fancy CGI (they’d both be HELLA into that--Anna for the magic and epic romances and Hiccup for the interesting magical creatures) and then gushed about it for hours afterwards, so their second date might be something a bit more lowkey where they’d just talk and hang out. I feel like they both probably are coffee addicts, so...a coffee shop date, maybe? And Anna gets some kinda chocolate pastry, of course! 6. How many children do they want/have? Tbh unpopular opinion probably, but I actually don’t think Hiccup and Anna would necessarily want kids??? They’re definitely the kind of couple who would love exploring the world and taking spontaneous adventures together, and you can do a lot less of that when kids are typing you down. Not to mention I think the full-time responsibility of having a kid would be pretty exhausting to Anna in particular, as someone who identifies with her a lot and has never wanted kids because even thinking about it makes me tired XD I mean sure, Anna has a nurturing side that comes out with Elsa sometimes, but she doesn’t have to use that ALL THE TIME (since Elsa is a grown-ass adult usually capable of sound judgement) like she would with a kid. But ALL THAT SAID if they DID end up having kids I don’t think they’d go too crazy with it, probably just 1. Or 2 at the VERY most. 7. Who hides the weapons? You mean like...in an AU where they’re infiltrating an enemy fortress or something? Probably Anna, since she’s the more innocent and harmless-looking of the two XD 8. Who is the better dancer? They both can’t dance for SHIT it’s absolutely cringeworthy but probably Anna at the end of the day because she probably spent a lot of time practicing in those empty ballrooms 9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding? They’d probably want to have some kind of a magic high fantasy theme, since they’d both be hella into that--and then it ends up morphing into “Dragons and Princesses” XD Anna ends up getting over-the-top fancy princess dresses for all of her bridesmaids and Hiccup has the time of his damn life making basically everything in the buffet dragon-themed. The cake is like half dark green or black scale-patterned and half fancy-patterned spring green tiers. It’s quite the event of the decade! 10. What do their parents think of them dating? Valka absolutely ADORES Anna and thinks she’s perfect for her son--the perfect blend of cheerful and compassionate when she needs to encourage him, but also badass and tough-spirited to protect him when she needs to. Stoic doesn’t really like Anna at first--he’s under the (mistaken) impression that she’s a wimp and finds her bubbliness kind of grating and annoying, and generally worries that dating her will just make Hiccup even more of a wimp. He’d rather him date a no-nonsense tough-as-nails asskicker like Astrid in hopes it would toughen him up. However, once Stoic sees Anna do something like punch someone out with no hesitation when they pick on her and Hiccup, Stoic comes around to Anna VERY quickly XD I feel like Agnar and Iduna would just be happy to see their daughter dating a sweet, dorky guy who loves her with all of her being and appreciates her for who she is. As long as he treats her well and makes her feel loved (which he most certainly would because he’s a precious cinnamon roll), he gets their stamp of approval. And hey, anything is an improvement over Hans XD 11. Are they a super sappy couple? Nah. I imagine they do a lot of PDA and probably hold hands or kiss in public a lot, but they’re not like...overly gooey in how they talk to each other, if that makes any sense. If anything, their flirting is painfully awkward, even AFTER they get together XD So much so that when they try to hit on each other in front of their friends their friends are like “oh my god STOP this is too much secondhand cringe for me to bear” 12. How did they get together? I like to imagine they’re friends for a long while but both of them fully 100% believe that the other is ridiculously out of their league and they’re irreparably trapped in the friendzone and one day they’re hanging out with their friends and awkwardly flirting with each other (but of couRse the other person isn’t FLIRTING they’re just being NICE they both figure) and finally Jack just shouts “oh my god will you two just fuck already???” and after a few minutes of utter mortification they just have the world’s most awkward love confession XD Anna finally relents and asks Hiccup on a date, and of course he says yes! 13. Who asked the other to get married? I can honestly imagine either of them asking but probably Hiccup. And he’s SO nervous about it that he starts straight stuttering the first few times he tries to ask and has to stop and change the subject XD He probably gets it finally after like...the 5th time. 14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes? A N N A 100% I headcanon that she has pretty bad insomnia (that’s why she has such a hard time waking up and is so tired in the morning!) so she stays up to the wee hours of the morning with her brain spinning with incredibly weird thoughts and her sense of humor becomes nigh indecipherable after 3 am. 15. Who is the nerd? Hiccup obviously is this even a question??? He spends all day collecting dragon facts and lore and building weird scientific contraptions to help crippled dragons fly WHAT A NERD 16. Who knows the most obscure facts? Hiccup again, he knows so many dragon factoids and random scientific shit that Anna sometimes wonders how he manages to fit anything else in there 17. Who makes the other a flower crown? Anna! She makes ones for both herself and Hiccup and Hiccup begrudgingly wears his but secretly thinks it’s pretty and likes it because it reminds him of his dorky gf :3 18. Who likes to read? Both! I mean Hiccup obviously does because, as established above, he is a nerd, but Anna has canonically read every book in the Arendelle castle library, some twice, so she doesn’t NOT like to read. Hiccup probably reads more, though, between the two of them--Anna often doesn’t really have the attention span for it. 19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads? ANNA she loves to constantly hang over Hiccup’s shoulder when he reads and drape herself all over him like a needy cat like “PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE” and Hiccup just lets out a defeated sigh and starts playing with her hair while reading and hopes this will be enough to appease the little gremlin It usually is 20. Who tutors the other? Hiccup tutors Anna, but she HATES having to ask and is actually pretty insecure about school just generally not coming as naturally to her as it does to Hiccup, so he’s always super patient and understanding with her and tries his very best to never get annoyed or frustrated if she doesn’t catch onto something right away. He doesn’t want her to ever feel stupid because he imagines it feels the same to her as when people call him weak and useless. Slowly but surely, he’s saving Anna’s grades--and building her confidence! 21. Do they have similar taste in movies? Hell yeah! They love that high fantasy shit. I also like to think Hiccup manages to get Anna into some sci-fi and Anna manages to get Hiccup into romcoms (ONLY the good ones, he insists, as he would not be caught dead watching a shitty romcom!) 22. How do their personalities compliment each other? I mean the most obvious one here is that Hiccup’s general pessimism and cynicism compliment Anna’s optimism and cheerfulness really nicely. He would be able to keep her grounded and get her to be more realistic about things, while she would encourage him to see the positive side of bad situations and be more hopeful about things in general. Also I love the contrast of Hiccup’s intelligence and more quiet, snarky nature with Anna’s rather boisterous personality and general naivitey (sp?) and energy. They’re like a downplayed version of the “the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one” trope and I think that’s beautiful. Also, they’d both be great at soothing the other’s isecurities--Anna would be Hiccup’s biggest cheerleader and would believe in him like no one else did, and would stop at nothing to pull him out of it when he started spiraling into self-loathing and thinking he’s a fuck-up. Hiccup, meanwhile, would be so smitten with Anna and would think that it’s the most obvious thing in the world that she’s an amazing human being in her own rite and never has to feel like the “spare” princess living in her sister’s shadow. And saying this without a shadow of a doubt, like it’s common knowledge, is often exactly what Anna needs to hear to feel a little better about herself. 23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon? I...honestly don’t think they’d be that extra about it??? In fact, they’d be the sort of couple who would be so UN-extra about it that it would do a full 180 and be hilarious. Like they’d be casually brunching with friends and Hiccup would just casually be like “oh by the way, Anna’s 3 months pregnant” or “oh, by the way, we just signed some adoption papers and we’re picking our new kid up on Saturday” and all of their friends would be like “wait WHAT” and Hiccup would be like “Anyways what were you saying about the newest episode of Alien Space Shooters 3000?” XD 24. Who has better fashion sense? Hiccup, probably. I mean, Astrid caught him making OUTFITS! The horror! The dude is also way more effeminate and, uh...clothing-conscientious than he realizes XD Anna has decent fashion sense, but I imagine that’s like 90% because Elsa spices up/makes her outfits since Elsa’s really more of the fashionista XD 25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner? Try bullying Hiccup when Anna’s around. I dare you. You’re gonna get a fistful of Anna Rage and a very angry redhead screaming “THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO MY BOYFRIEND I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU” Look this woman punched a man off a boat and knocked a wolf half a mile away with a guitar thing she absolutely takes no shits and she can and will fuck you up if you so much as lay a finger on her precious dork Hiccup thinks this is really hot btw 26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle? For whatever reason the first songs that come to mind are “Africa” by Toto and “Don’t Stop Believin” by Journey. ALSO “Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheatus since they both are, in fact, teenage dirtbags XD It also like perfectly describes the story of a modern AU where Hiccup the Loser is secretly pining for Anna the Nice Popular Girl who is dating Hans the Douchebag but that’s neither here nor there 27. What other couple would your otp get along with? Jackunzel, Jackunzel, Jackunzel!!! Jack and Hiccup would definitely be bros, even if they are not above mercilessly roasting and/or trolling one another XD And Anna and Rapunzel would be BEST FRIENDS if they ever met and I will DIE on this hill, I legit don’t think Anna would Vibe with any other princess as hard as she vibes with Punzel. They could be ADHD disasters together XD 28. Who likes to prank the other? Anna actually turns out to be quite the closet gadfly and has a secret side that LOVES pranks and generally trolling Hiccup, much to everyone’s surprise and Hiccup’s mild dismay. It’s always pretty innocent and subtle pranks, like switching books on his bookshelf or hiding his various possessions in weird places in the house, but Anna absolutely LIVES for that long, defeated sigh he lets out when he realizes he’s Been Had. 29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures? Anna takes pictures of EVERYTHING on her phone--scenery, flowers, cute animals they come across, weird buildings, pretty fountains, Hiccup when he’s not looking, EVERYTHING XD She also bombs all her social media accounts with selfies of her and Hiccup and captions gloating about how great he is and how you WISH your boyfriend was this cool and rad and Hiccup is both embarrassed and flattered by this. 30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates? Anna, who probably never stopped fully being a sucker for fairy tale True Love stories and all that shit, would fangirl for hours and hours. Hiccup would just go, “Oh, neat!” and go back to whatever project he was currently working on XD I mean his logic is mainly that regardless of whether it’s “magically destined” or not, he’s gonna date Anna anyway, so it really doesn’t make a scrap of difference to him whether she’s dubbed by some Mystical Higher Power as his soulmate lol 31. Where would they live? Well...SOMEWHERE in Scandinavia, since that’s canonically where both Berk and Arendelle are XD I kinda like the idea of them spending part of the year in Berk and part in Arendelle...maybe spring and summer in Berk, and fall and winter in Arendelle? I imagine spring and summer are when there’s the most interesting dragon activity in Berk, and winter’s probably pretty festive and colorful in Arendelle, if OFA is anything to go by. And the fall color is pretty too, going by Frozen 2. Seems like a good compromise, since I doubt either of them would want to permanently move away from their homes. 32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one? Given the shipping this question is HILARIOUSLY ironic Well it just so happens they would have a type of dragon called a Night Fury and name him Toothless XD Anna would probably have a dragon of her own too--I conversed with someone on fanfic.net and did some research into all the HTTYD dragons, and I think the one I like her most with is a sand wraith, since they live on the beach and Anna certainly seems to like the beach, if her throwaway comment complaining Elsa doesn’t have “tropical” powers is anything to go by XD 33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be? First of all, fuck you for making me google “Types of Vampires” and then getting me aggravated because like nowhere on the internet is there a straightforward list of vampire "species” that isn’t like 5 miles long or just a meme XD Welp, I couldn’t really find a list of vampire species that wouldn’t take forever to look over, so I wrote a summary for a vampire fanfic instead Anna turns first. I imagine probably Hans turns her--tricks her into falling in love with him without knowing he’s a vampire, and then biting her when she’s off-guard to basically try to make her into a spooky sex slave or something. Anna starts seeing Hiccup in secret (who she knew before--he’s still human at this point), and eventually he asks her to turn him so that he can be with her without her outliving him and also so that they can team up and fight Hans together. Anna has a lot of reservations about turning him, but finally agrees. They end up kicking Hans out of his spooky vampire castle and taking it for themselves XD Anna eventually makes the best of being a vampire, and has a blast wearing all manor of fancy dresses and throwing extravagant balls. She’s pretty bummed about never getting to gorge herself on garlic bread again, though :( Hiccup doesn’t much like it, especially since a lot of animals are scared of him now and he doesn’t Vibe with nature quite like he used to D: Nonetheless, he decides to use the immortality to do some pretty neat projects and work on his contraptions and inventions and whatnot. I imagine they eventually devolve into kind of a vigilante duo, and make a point of only hunting down and feeding on bad people who are actively hurting or abusing other people or animals. A pretty good incentive to not like...do violent crime in this AU is those creepy old wives’ tales people tell their kids like “don’t be an asshole when you grow up, or the Haddock vampires will get you!” 34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween? Well Hiccup would be some sort of dragon, obviously! Anna I have no idea...but I kinda like the idea of her just dressing up as a generic fairy tale princess and then going around with Hiccup like “oh no, this dragon kidnapped me!” Both their friends and various trick-or-treaters get a kick out of the whole bit. 35. Can they name each other’s favourite food? But of course! Anna’s is chocolate, krumkake, and sandwiches, and Hiccup’s is crabcakes (yes, all this is actually canon! I do my research for fanfiction thank you very much lol). And you can bet they surprise each other by buying one another’s favorite foods all the time! 36. Do they have pet names for one another? In my fanfic I always have Hiccup come up with SO MANY for Anna, like in my Fire!Anna AU fanfic alone I have Fire Hazard, Firecracker, and probably a few others I can’t remember One headcanon I really like is that whenever Anna is especially ready to attempt to kick the ass of something she really should NOT fight (such as a giant snowman), Hiccup physically has to hold her back and goes “Whoa, slow down there, tiger” and this happens so frequently that eventually it gets shortened to just calling her Tiger XD And hey, with the orange hair and the feistiness, it still fits! As for Anna, she usually just calls Hiccup Dragon Boy or Nerd XD 37. How do they cheer each other up? I imagine Hiccup probably tries to distract Anna from whatever’s bothering her by making her laugh and talking in dumb accents or imitating his dad XD Anna would probably try to help Hiccup stay optimistic about a bad situation and try to point out the positives, but more in an encouraging way than like...an obnoxious, condescending “oh, it could be worse, count your blessings!” kind of way. And Anna has so much peppy energy about it that it actually does sometimes manage to pierce Hiccup’s cynicism and make him feel a bit better, if only for a little while before he starts once again imagining everything that could possibly go wrong XD 38. Do they show a lot of PDA? Eeeeeyup XD They looooove holding hands in public, and enjoy kissing dramatically in front of the sunset and such. I mean I imagine they don’t have hardcore makeout sessions in public or feel each other up sexually, if only because they don’t want to make people THAT uncomfortable. 39. How old were they when they got together? Depends on the AU you’re using and where in both their respective timelines they meet, but I imagine them meeting either as kids or in their early teens, and then taking so damn long to spit out how they feel that they don’t actually start dating until their late teens or early 20s. 40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home? If it’s a puppy? Probably Anna. If it’s a kitten or a weird, injured reptile? Deeeefinitely Hiccup. 41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses? They most certainly CANNOT. I like to think Elsa and Honeymaren tried to teach them one time and have a yoga double date (because of COURSE Elsa would suggest that) and it ended with Anna and Hiccup butchering every last pose, repeatedly falling on their asses, and generally having a bad time. Poor Elsa and Honeymaren had to work hard to keep from just losing their shit laughing. 42. What is their song? I mean...I don’t know what their like...OFFICIAL song is, but the songs “West End Kids” by the New Politics and “Paper Rings” by Taylor Swift have always had Big Hiccanna Energy to me. 43. What does their room look like? It’s divided pretty neatly in two. Hiccup’s side has a near-spotless floor, a desk with a perfectly-organized bookshelf and a very chic desk lamp, several movie posters and a hanging whiteboard with miscellaneous invention designs and reminders about random stuff written on it. Anna’s side looks like Hurricane Katrina just swept through, this time with a personal vendetta against snack wrappers. 44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded? Anna would absolutely be the sort to just fuckin tear through hoards of zombies screeching battle cries and knocking them all upside the head with a crowbar, or just straight plowing down an entire hoard with some freaking machine gun she stumbled on and taught herself how to use because she wanted to be badass XD Meanwhile Hiccup is absolutely grateful for the protection because Anna can fuck up a LOT of zombies at once, but he also has to keep the girl from going TOO crazy and accidentally putting her impulsive dumbass in grave peril XD 45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed? Hiccup, for sure. He’s used to being up pretty early because I imagine you get the most dragon-flying and exploring in if you wake up early, and he knows food is basically the only thing that will make Anna not hate getting up, so he makes her breakfast in bed as often as he can to make waking up suck less. And sure enough, after a while Anna starts to hate the morning just a liiiiittle bit less XD 46. Who loves kids more? Anna! Given how fun-loving and energetic she is, she probably loves hanging out with and being around kids. Hiccup likes kids fine, but he often feels kinda awkward and weird around them (I mean...more so than usual XD) because he isn’t sure how to interact with them. When they’re around kids, Hiccup usually follows Anna’s lead on how to talk to them. 47. Do either of them have a crazy ex? Well Anna’s ex attempted to use her to infiltrate and take over a kingdom and then tried to murder her sister so I mean 48. What are their favourite colours? Going by their canon color schemes, I’m guessing Anna’s would probably be like spring green and magenta, and Hiccup’s would be a more dark, foresty green and red. 49. Who likes to cook? Hiccup. Anna can’t cook for shit because she generally doesn’t have the patience for it and would just as soon live off of freezer food if she could because it’s less trouble XD Hiccup is good at making/building things, which actually translates to him being a pretty good chef. He makes Anna food a lot and she absolutely ADORES his cooking. 50. Who is the forgetful one? Anna. Gotta love that ADHD babeyyyy! (I mean I’m practically irl Anna and I am NOTORIOUSLY forgetful so it’s gotta be her XD)

#hiccanna #hiccup x anna #anna x hiccup #otp questions #anna #hiccup #hiccupxanna #annaxhiccup #rotbtfd #httyd #frozen #crossover

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9w1ft · 5 years

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☔️

it’s been about a month now since TSL shut down. i’ve been thinking of how best to summarize my thoughts on the odd things that happened to me there and i’ve decided it’s best to split my thoughts up into a few posts. this is my first!

so, for starters! drumroll pleaaaaaase 🥁 i would like to clear the air.. i am very excited to say that i have properly identified and spoken to the real KalindaKing!

you may or may have noticed before the app shut down, but KalindaKing actually @‘d me in one of her final posts on the app, saying she had seen my theory but that sadly she is an only child.

unfortunately, yes, KalindaKing was not Kimby Kloss. i uhh, take it she herself confirmed it for me recently!

actually, about a month after posting my theory, a mutual of mine tipped me off to a social media post that seemed to be from someone who might be KalindaKing (the gist of the post was, to paraphrase, i saw a theory that i’m karlie’s sister. i wish!), and i had been keeping tabs on it for some time. the post did not get any traction (no likes, no shares) so there was no way to verify if it was related, but doing some digging and cross-referencing photos and whatnot i was left plenty suspicious.

So about 3 months went by after i had my lede on who it could be, and then 48 hours away from app shutdown KalindaKing @‘d me on TSL... so i decided to take the jump and direct message the suspicious person on social media. and, we had a match! it was her!

Can i just say she is just as delightful as she was on TSL? it was an honor to chat with her. turns out she is an active moderator under the same username on another app by the same company.

actually, 😂 the KK part is really a funny coincidence.. see, the moderator who went by the username KalindaKing on TSL originally created that username for herself because she is a moderator on the Kim Kardashian Hollywood app under the same username (she gave me permission to say that), and, alliteration, so go figure! it would appear i exquisitely took my conjectures a twist too far.

this moderator is a professional, so she did not disclose that much to me, but I was able to learn that the ‘TheSwiftLife’ account was the responsibility of her and someone else. She mentioned that Social (ie twitter/fb) was run by her. Someone else was helping out on the TSL app, ie, that account that gave out those persnickety taymoji gifts on the app. 🤨

for those of you who followed my theory closely, this newly confirmed information has likely allowed you to come to the same heartening conclusion that i did: this means that the “message to taylor” function on the app is in all likelihood indeed something that only taylor can see, or, isn’t accessible to just any glu employee. yes, those personal private messages to her were in fact kept private 🥰. that is to say, leading up to my big guess post, i had disclosed the content of my guess (that kimby was KalindaKing) using this function, asking for the go ahead here on tumblr. my theory is whoever the someone is that was helping out with the TheSwiftLife account did not have access to my secret messages, and that’s where the miscommunication between me and them occurred. oops...

if you are new here, you are probably wondering how sound this logic could be. it would also seem to be completely possible that the TheSwiftLife account simply didn't know i existed / had never read anything from me / had never interacted with me through the app.

to that i say:

i now have proof that at least one moderator from the app read my theory back in October 2018

i now have proof that the same moderator @‘d me in response to the theory 48 hours before the app closed on February 1st, despite having know about it for three months.. so i take it that it merited addressing

let me walk you through a sampler of five ‘interactions’ that occurred with me and TheSwiftLife between August and October of last year:

interaction one: 8/1 Puzzle Heart..

after showcasing some interest in the taymoji gifts and crafting my theory of what they meant, i had seen a through line in terms of the overall message being conveyed but was unsure of any of this was real. i posted here on tumblr for the taymoji gods to send me sign, and the TheSwiftLife account gave out a puzzle heart with the flavor text “put the pieces together” the chances of that taymoji being picked to be given out are, i would say, 1/128 chances. the gift giving was mainly from within a pool of the 64 song-based taymoji packs and always of one of the two rare taymoji from either pack, so, 64x2=128

interaction two, 8/29 Rabbit...

following a week of ttb using the emoji rabbit to welcome some anons into the kaylor fandom, TheSwiftLife gave out a rabbit with the flavor text “Fell down the rabbit hole...”

interaction three: 9/12 Pixels..

things felt surreal following the rabbit... so i asked TSL here on tumblr to show me a sign that proved they knew me and saw me. i said there was one taymoji out of them all (of which there are 653) that represented me. i had hoped for the pixel art heart taymoji, as it says in my profile here that i am a pixel artist... i assumed if TSL wanted to respond to my request, they’d poke around my blog and make that connection. 13 days after i made the post, they gave out that exact one. in response, i mentioned what a lovely birthday present this was, as it was coming 13 days before my birthday (i’m born on 9/25)

interaction four: 9/21 Balloons...

between the pixel heart and this next gift, i came to the conclusion that kimby could be spearheading the TheSwiftLife account (given an interaction between this blog and kimby’s instagram stories involving a yacht company), and, as i love cheesy things, i made the extra (flawed) assumption that, given KalindaKing appeared to be a pen name, it would be super duper ingenious if the KK stood for Kimby Kloss. i sent this prediction in the “secret message for taylor” function on TSL, assuming (incorrectly) whoever was on the other side could read it, and posted here on tumblr simply that “i know who you’ve been, and i take it you want me to share?” The next gift that TheSwiftLife gave out were a set of red balloons from the Mine pack, with the caption “Speak now if it’s your birthday this month”

interaction five: 10/1 Umbrella...

even so, i was very hesitant to go through with pushing my theory. it felt, again, unreal. so, i put up one more test... i asked here on tumblr something in the form of a riddle. I decided to phrase a request for them to give a taymoji in the form of a question. knowing the full range of taymoji possibilities, i picked the flavor text of a taymoji that had never been given out, and a double-rare one (which weren’t given out often) the umbrella, and put out my question: do you have my back even if it rains down on me? and the next gift given out was the very umbrella i expected, which has the flavor text “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered!”

this span of time in particular (not limited to, but especially) is why i have a hard time not believing kaylor is real. why would taylor’s team let any of this fly, that is, why would they allow a bubbly and vocal kaylor experience this if kaylor wasn’t true?

i encourage everyone to look through my blog archive from August to October to see how it played out! it won’t take that long and i think it’s more interesting than just this post. it’s a sweet slice of time... happening before the political post, and then, the ‘wedding’ thing.

and: if you are to believe that this is all just coincidence, then you have to logically assume that every of the above interactions happened at random, with TheSwiftLife drawing from a catalog of over 100 possible choices each time, and accidentally giving something relevant each time. i am not even going to cover the many many other strange alignments between what i post on here and what kimby posts on instagram. the probability of these taymoji is enough.

even taking out of account the probability of the timing of each, and just looking at it like a kid’s math problem, it’s quite a rare outcome.

what is the probability of insinuating 5 specific symbols and drawing those 5 specific symbols out of 5 bags with 128 different symbols inside each, one after the other? 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 = 1/34,359,738,368

a one in 34 billion chance of it happening if it happened randomly.

you only think 3 out of the 5 coincidences above are legit? well that still an over one in two million chance. only believe in one of them? still just an 0.8% chance.

and i picked these five interactions because they hilight five times where there really couldn’t have been multiple “applicable” taymoji responses. i tried to cut out that grey zone for you, because there’s plenty of grey examples to pick from. i suppose with the balloons, they could have picked any birthday-looking taymoji and accompanied the gift with the same caption.. but in that case, it means you have to calculate the chances of them writing the birthday messaging after what happened with the pixel heart... and i don’t know how to calculate that...

i’m not even talking about how some of the taymoji given out twice coincided with celebrity appearances in the world of kaylor. i don’t know how to calculate the probability of karlie saying she’ll go to a taylor concert before a marching band hat is given out, and then her appearing at nashville the day after the marching band hat was given out again. or the paul mccartney coincidence, or the hayley kiyoko coincidence, just to name a few of the most straightforward. i’m not even gonna mention all that business about the app notifications freaking out on my phone (for which i have an excel spreadsheet up my sleeve for later should i decide to nerd out that much)

i don’t even need to touch that.

some epic sh*t was positively afoot, my darlings.

but i digress. pending, you know, ‘proof’, we have no surefire way to know about the who (or who all behind it) all of this is, but, i don’t think we need to be sure of that for the time being (uwu*). i just want to re establish that while KalindaKing was a glorious misfire, the mystery of the app still very much remains.

in my upcoming post (i need to buy myself some eyedrops or something because my eyes are redder than that st. louis park sculpture right now), i would like to rewind for a sec and set the question of who aside and refocus solely on what we learned from the gifts and what we can possibly take away from the experience as a whole.

for now, this is me saying, kimby, oops! sorry i thought you were KalindaKing and sorry for not triple checking with you. my double check was not enough. but i’m glad i took the plunge, because, better an oops than a what if, right? and i hope, at least you got a good laugh out of it! and also thank you lovely sisters ☺️ for you know, clearing the way for me to make this post. at least, that’s what it looked like to me. 📯🕊

#taymoji #the swift life #tsl #kaylor #kaptain

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fcparagon · 5 years

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I’m done.

I suppose [SPOILER WARNING] can be given, but who cares at this point? And no, I'm not watching Game of Thrones. This is not a rant post per se, because I have nothing left in me other than pure, raw disappointment towards this show.

David & Dan, do you understand the weight of your responsibility as writers? Do you think you can show whatever the hell you want in the name of artistic integrity? You not only have the responsibility to write content in a way that is coherent and sensible, but you also need to understand the message that you put across when you write. The fans of this show, relate to the characters and the story. They are tools through which people not only try to acquire entertainment and a form of escapism but also draw strength from them. I’ve seen shows going off the rails, but never on such an epic proportion. Just because you’re writers, you think you’re entitled to show whatever you want? Do you not understand that this show is just not yours, it’s the fans as well? In one episode, you’ve destroyed a character who is loved by millions across the globe. You’ve turned a woman, whose aim was to destroy tyrants and save innocents, a hero in every sense, into a woman who has gone mad over grief, and fear. In one episode, you’ve turned every person of color in her army, into a group of savages, and barbarians. Through your misogynistic writing, you’ve basically given the message that women in power are unstable, that they don’t have their reigns on their own emotions and impulses, that they always need a man to keep them grounded, give them sound advice. I’ve heard stories of women who went through abuse take strength from Daenerys’ character, because she too was someone who faced abuse, rape, slavery, betrayal, spent her childhood living in fear from assassins, lost her entire family, and yet tried to get back on her feet and reach a point in her life where she would rule with justice, protecting her people, giving them the sort of life she never had. All Daenerys Targaryen ever wanted was a family, to be happy, to live in a house with a red door and a lemon tree. The tragedy that her character arc turned into is by far one of the most devastating things I’ve ever had to witness. You’ve reduced that woman into nothing but a shell of what she was, doing everything she swore she wouldn’t do, and in a span of a single episode, you’ve destroyed her character, and the dreams of millions of women who looked up to her, all for the sake of shock value. You’ve basically given them the message that as someone who has been abused, you will eventually become an abuser yourself. That’s what you’ve told them. Of course, a “man” is better, because having a dick somehow makes a ruler more sensible. Emilia Clarke, who plays Daenerys, who suffered from brain aneurysm twice, and almost lost her life, took strength from her character, and it helped her feel empowered, knowing that such a female character exists, who is not only strong but inspires millions of other women. Now I understand why she was broken and took a long drive when she first read the scripts. If you think the fans feel outraged, I can’t even imagine how the actors and the actresses feel about their characters having gone out of the rails. They’re the ones who are truly in tune, and close to their characters, and they can’t even rant out. I’m sorry Emilia, that in this final season, this is what you had to portray. Coming back to it, the way you portray people of color, shows just how little you think about the implications of writing colored people. They’re not allowed to live free. They’re either put in chains, or they’re barbaric. In two episodes, we’ve seen both of these come true. The Unsullied, and the Dothraki, are basically immigrants, and you’ve just shown them invade a city and barbarically killing innocents. Way to go David & Dan. It’s not only Daenerys, but they’ve also managed to destroy every-single-character in this show. Every single plotline, every single prophecy, foreshadowing, character arcs, they’ve just thrown them out the window. How did they write this stuff, and think that the fans would like them? And just think, these are the same writers who now have keys to writing content for Star Wars. Good luck Star Wars fans. You’ve got two writers, who have proven to us that they’re nothing without source materials. Seriously, I’ve read fan fictions that are way better than this train wreck. If they did portray any characters out of the ordinary, they would’ve given solid proof, and foreshadowing for it to make sense. I can’t even imagine what GRRM must be thinking of this show now. I can’t imagine how the cast would answer questions from the fans. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that this is how they would choose to end a show that has been on for nearly a decade.

This entire shenanigan is a huge lesson for me as a Literature student. If I’m to write a story one day, I will take lessons from this on how not to write a story, and really focus on writing coherent content, while doing justice to the plots and the characters. Suffice to say, I will not be watching any more of this nonsense, simply because I can’t bring myself to. This reminds me of the time when Mass Effect 3 came out, and the developers tried to justify it by calling it “artistic integrity”, only this time it’s 10x worse. I don’t want to debate about this with anyone. I don’t want anyone telling me, “Oh this makes perfect sense. In order for her to destroy tyrants, she became one herself. Poetic justice. Blah blah blah…” Keep it to yourself. I don’t want to hear any of it.

I hope the fans rate this episode to the absolute bottom score. This is the only way we can tell those jackasses, to pull their head out of their asses if they ever want to work as writers in the future. I hope people rate Season 8 as the worst season in television history because it is.

#ScrewTheThrone

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cerastes · 6 years

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HEY DRIMO it's been a while since you did a big myth post so how about you tell me a cool story about my boi karna

Oh dear me, Hindu mythos, damn, ok, so, first rule of Hindu mythos is that you all have to wear your seat belts while reading this. If you don’t, you are susceptible to immense physical and spiritual damage, enough that it might kick you right out of the cycle of reincarnation, and then the Mythos Retelling Collective (MRC) will revoke my license due to Irresponsible Sharing of Intense Tales (art. 23847). Are you all strapped in? Y’all got your helmets? Alright alright, let’s get this show on the road.

SO, KARNA. I assume most of you are familiar with Karna having Big Strength and being god damn unkillable. Ok, so, it goes beyond that. It goes at least three Milky Ways in width beyond that. Originally known by his other name, Vasusena (and this dude has like 14 different names), Karna is the main protagonist of the Hindu epic, Mahabharata, and–

Oh, right, before I can tell you anything about the Mahabharata, or about Hindu mythos in general, I need to explain power levels. So you know how in Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Vegeta and Nappa use “Raditz” as a unit of measure for power levels and ki? “My power level is 500 Raditz.” “My power level is 23000 Raditz”, the joke being that Raditz was such a weak grunt that his meager total power can be used as a unit as you would with centimeters? Ok, this is actually canon in Hindu mythos. They have a scale of power levels, referred to as “Levels of Warrior Excellence”. The levels are:

Ardha-rathi: The lowest level, meaning literally “Half of a Rathi”. Read the next section for a more elaborate explanation, but this is Yamcha-tier, basically, the weakest of the badasses.

Rathi: It almost sounds like Raditz, doesn’t it? Well, Rathi is the unit by which all the other levels of Warrior Excellence are measured, as well as a rank by itself. A Rathi is an individual so powerful and skilled, that they can do battle with 1000 regular warriors simultaneously. This is the “Dynasty Warriors Playable Character” tier: Strong, but still susceptible to frames per seconds drops and getting stunlocked by arrows.

Atirathi: HERE is where things get spicy. An Atirathi is a warrior that can fight with six Rathi simultaneously. This is the level of strength possessed by Kevin by the time of Home Alone 2.

Ekarathi: You thought six was impressive? TRY EIGHT RATHI SIMULTANEOUSLY. We are entering Popeye-with-spinach levels of world-ending strength now.

Maharathi: The top level, the cream of the crop, the true definition of “Fuckhouse”. Those who reach this level are immensely powerful, and can do battle with 12 or more Rathi simultaneously. That is 12000 asses worth of whoopings. This is where you favorite Touhou is, obviously, and fuck what everyone else says.

Their measure of unit is basically “How many thousands of dudes can this person fight, or how many people that can fight a thousand people at once can this person fight?”, which, in other words, means that India has not fucked around a single day in it history.

So you might be wondering, “where’s Karna in all of this?”. Well, Chili Con Karna is SO MINDBOGGLINGLY STRONG AND SPICY that he is, literally, a Double Maharathi. Karna is stated to be “in terms of strength and skill, equal to two Maharathi warriors”. These peak jokers made this elaborate power level chart just so they could say “AND KARNA IS DOUBLE AS STRONG AS THE STRONGEST”. He is Two Gokus. Karna could literally look at you, without the laser, and you would just be atomized, restructured, and atomized again in the span of minus three seconds, and you would thank him for it. And damn RIGHT you would thank him for it, because he probably didn’t mean to do that to you. That’s because Karna, despite having more powers than Superman and God combined, is the Ultimate Good Boy. This dude is Puppy Kiss Central, this dude chips in on Pizza Thursday every week, and makes up for those who didn’t chip in. Karna lets you take the last chicken nugget. Karna lets you use Player 1 when you hang out at his place. Karna tells you to text him or call him once you get home after hanging out and he gets worried if you don’t. That dashing guy you saw doing volunteer work at the homeless shelter the other day? Probably Karna. The owner of Old Friends Dog Sanctuary? Definitely Karna.

He’s GOOD.

And that’s why the Mahabharata is so painful: I don’t speak Hindi, but I am pretty sure “mahabharata” translates directly to “Karna Has Bad Day :(”. Today, we’ll be talking about Karna’s Three Curses, with a little bit of his childhood for context on the first one, and because I just want to talk about his dumbass mom. Also that one time he clowned Arjuna and Planet Fucking Earth got mad at him.

SO, there was this lady named Kunti, princess of the Kunti Kingdom (yeah), and this one time she was the host to a sage named Durvasa, who was visiting. She is a most Excellent Host, and provided Durvasa with the best of services, the most delicious food, the most luxurious of drinks, and every volume of Detective Conan, and Durvasa was so stoked at this 10/10 Would Come Again service, that he gave Kunti a special boon: With a mantra he taught her, she now had the amazing power to get knocked up by any deity of her selection. Kunti was really happy with her new pregnancy powers, and couldn’t wait to try them out, so she did to call upon the Sun God Surya, and guess what fucking happened: That’s right, fucking happened. It was a violent and intense cyclone of sex so kinky that the baby was born with armor and earrings (in some versions, Surya “handed” the child to Kunti, but in others, which I opt to believe, Kunti bore his child, and his fat solar load was so powerful that the fetus was armored). And then Kunti was like “oh fuck it worked lol but I am not wed” and since she didn’t want to be an unmarried mother (refer to Hindu tradition for this one), so she did like many other Mothers In Mythology and she put Armor Baby on a basket and set him afloat on the rivER LIKE A REAL KUNT, IT WAS IN HER NAME ALL ALONG, WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES KEEP DOING THIS.

THE REST IS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE THIS IS TURNING LONG.

Like many other Babies In Mythology, Armor Baby was found by someone, this someone being a charioteer named Adhiratha, but not just ANY charioteer, this was the chief charioteer of King Dhritarashtra, who I hope will forgive me if I wrote his name wrong, and was adopted by the charioteer and his wife, Radha. Armor Baby was given a name, Vasusena, and his pet name was Radheya among the locals. Being born an armored baby, it should come as no surprise Vasusena was interested in the military arts, and so he approached this really cool dude named Dronacharya who taught princes about warfare, BUT Drone told the armor kid to fuck the off because he only taught Kshatriyas (the military social caste in Hindu culture), but he was very impressed by Vasusena’s guts because this shit ass kid more or less just strolled into his house and said “HEY TEACH ME HOW TO BE A BADASS”, so he suggested to his father to change his name to Karna, which means “one who peels his own skin”, as a reference to his guts and totally not any sort of foreshadowing to anything NO SIR WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT.

So ok he got a cool name and whatever, bUT SEE, he still got told to fuck off, which he DIDN’T LIKE, so Cartman, not one to be daunted, sought out Dron’s own teacher instead, because fuck you, that’s why. So Kane finds him, name of Parashurama, and asks him BUT FIRST he disguises himself as a Brahmin, because Futurama only teaches Brahmins, and Karlos was not gonna make THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE. Panasonic agrees, seeing potential in this Double Goku kid and so begins the training arc. Result: Parashurama proudly announces that Karna is his equal in the art of warfare and archery. All this heaving and hoing gets my man Parmesan tired, though, so Karna, ever the good boy, offers his sensei his lap so he can sleep, sensei says fuck yeah and he uses his lap pillow. While he is sleeping, however, a very angry bee goes and stings the hell out of Karna’s thigh, but he’s got his sensei on his lap, which is like when you have a cat or a puppy on your lap and it falls asleep and you do not DARE move. So he didn’t, and this leads to a very important lesson to be learned in the Mahabharata: NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED. When he woke up, Parashurama saw the wound and the blood that flowed from it (and from this, I take bees in India are Cazadores from Fallout New Vegas) and immediately realized that Kane was NOT a Brahmin. This lie meant he had ILLEGALLY STOLEN INFORMATION, and so he cast a curse on Karna that made him forget everything about how to wield the divine weapon Brahmandra-astra, an immensely powerful divine weapon he learned to use, but Karna pleaded to please be reasonable, at which point Par realized, hey, maybe this is kinda excessive and impulsive, so he reduced the curse to make it so Karna would only forget it when he needed it the most against an equally powerful warrior, which IS NOT ANY FUCKING BETTER, and then he felt EVEN WORSE because Karna had basically been his best student ever and is a Good Person, so he gave him his own divine weapon, the Bhagavastra, as well as his bow, Vijaya. I mean, you could’ve just. Undone the curse. But hey. New weapons!

So Karna, a dedicated and excellent archer, was VERY HYPED to try out this new legendary bow he had come to own! There’s a thing in Hindu martial arts called “Shabdavedi Vidhya”, the art of hitting a target by detecting the source of the sound. What Karna didn’t consider is that shooting things by just detecting their sound, you know, means you are not REALLY LOOKING AT WHAT YOU ARE SHOOTING, but hey, like eager-to-try-new-toys mother, like eager-to-try-new-toys son. Three guesses as to what happened. You are RIGHT, HE SHOT A FUCKING COW. And it’s not with a little arrow or a harmless stick, this was with the Vijaya, which means that cow was obliterated off the face of this god damn planet. My dude was practicing “shooting at sounds” with a tactical nuke launcher. What the tits did he expect to happen. SEE, I’m sure you know, but shooting cows in India is not exactly something you just apologize about. But Karna, albeit not the brightest crayon in the box, was still Ultimate Good Boy, so he went to apologize to the owner of the cow, who happened to be an actual Brahmin who had performed the Agnihotra rite daily, which made him extra holy. Brahmin, of course, was pissed, and since apparently people in India just have a full moveset of curses ready to sling at a moment’s noticed, cursed Karna AGAIN, with this curse being “fated to die a helpless and callous death”. Not the best series of days for Karna. He could’ve just walked away, but he’s a Good Boy, so he had to take responsibility. NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.

So I want to call attention to this bitch of a life for a second: Baby is born because some cunt used her super pregnancy powers to see if they worked without considering the consequences of, you know, getting super pregnant, Baby is chucked into a basket and sent to fuck off on the rapids, is picked up, immediately tries to enroll with a fighting master, instead enrolls with a SUPER fighting master that taught the previous fighting master, and gets double cursed for being a good boy and having bad trigger discipline.

Now, let’s skip a couple of chapters, and we arrive at the moment where the Pandava princes, all demi-gods, hosted a “tournament” of sorts to show off their skills to the people and to their guru, Drona. They were all having a good time, being badass and superpowered WHEN SUDDENLY Karna shows up and arrogantly challenges them because he knows he can do better, from what he has seen. One of the princes, Arjuna (kept you waiting, huh?), who was regarded by Drona to be the most powerful and skilled on the Pandava, told him to maybe fuck off, and that they couldn’t compete because they were above him, as his caste was no doubt lower than theirs. A certain pair of ears DID NOT LIKE THIS and jumped to Karna’s defense: Duryodhana is the name of the owner of said ears, and he’s got Authority. How much of it? Well, he just up and named Karna King of Anga then and there, just so he could compete. Holy SHIT. Now, see, Duryo hates the Pandava. Duryo REALLY, REALLY HATES the Pandava, and he was 100% behind supporting this random stranger if it meant he could possibly maybe humiliate these ugly sumbitches. Maybe. Ok, see, here’s where it gets a bit weird, but depending on who tells the tale, Duryo and Karna actually already knew each other and were childhood friends, but most tellings make this their first meeting, and I am absolutely on board with that, because it only goes on to show how much Duryo hated the Pandava, and divine people in general. He just fucking HATED gods, man. Can relate. So Karna goes and UTTERLY OUTDOES AND UPSTAGES the Pandava princes. Outright beats all their highscores and writes “ASS” in the 1st Place billboard on each entry as his name. They are all FURIOUS at him, especially Arjuna, who had aced every single event, and now had to wear a nice 2nd place on all of them because this absolutely nobody (no one knew Karna was the sun’s son yet) showed up and utterly pulverized them. This also starts his relationship with Duryo, with whom he’d become fast, and eventually, best friends.

BUT, SEE, HE KINDA GOT MADE A KING, SO HEY, HE HAD TO GO, UH, TEND TO THAT. He was checking his brand new sudden kingdom, when he came across a WEEPING CHILD. If there is one thing Ultimate Good Boy can’t stand, that’s the tears of children, so he approached the girl and asked what’s wrong. See, the girl had accidentally dropped her ghee (kinda like butter but less dense) and she was going to get her ass whooped by her step mother. Karna kindly offered to buy her new ghee, but she said it had to be THAT SPECIFIC ghee with the dirt on it, and that she didn’t want any other. Karna, in his infinite kindness, said “oh, sure, lol”, so he grabbed the dirt and squeezed it with all of his extremely godly might, extracting the ghee back into the jar as if squeezing water out of a sponge, because that’s just the kind of solution you come up with when you are the strongest person in Ever.

hey

you guys remember what I said a while ago?

WHY YES

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.

Guess what happened. Guess whose anger he incurred. He got Bhumi Devi/Mother Earth herself pissed at him. And what was her beef, you ask? Well, see, Karna squeezed that soil SO DAMN HARD that she took offense. Yes. Really. And guess whSHE FUCKING CURSED HIM TOO, OH MY GOD, CEASE THIS, YOU CAN’T JUST HEX A DUDE FOR SQUEEZING DIRTY, COME ON. The curse this time was that she would one day trap his chariot’s wheel during a crucial moment in his life. All because that little girl wouldn’t make do with a new jar of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

WORST. WORLD. EVER.

And guess how Karna dies.

Yes.

His chariot’s wheel gets trapped on the earth (third curse) during a crucial confrontation with Arjuna, he attempts to defend himself with his astral weapon, but forgets how to conjure it (first curse), and is decapitated by a shot of Arjuna’s Gandiva as he helplessly leans against the chariot’s wheel, unable to free it (second curse).

The moral of the story is don’t fucking help anyone, ever, and don’t own up to your mistakes, because if you do, you’ll be triple cursed.

Karna deserved better.

#tainbocuailnge #chili con karna

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dailycamilacabello · 6 years

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How Camila Cabello Lost Some Friends and Found Her Voice

MIAMI — Camila Cabello has only been in love once. But when it comes to crushes, she’s a connoisseur. The pop singer and songwriter, formerly of the girl group Fifth Harmony, has filled pages of notes on her iPhone with ruminations on the sugar rush of embryonic infatuation and its aftermath — words of hunger and grit that her fans turn into Instagram captions and scream back at her in concert. A pair of suggestive duets in the last two years, “I Know What You Did Last Summer” with Shawn Mendes and “Bad Things” with Machine Gun Kelly, have been streamed over 520 million times, according to Nielsen Music. Along with her breakout solo smash from last summer, “Havana,” which has led Billboard’s pop radio chart longer than any other song by a solo female artist in the past five years, they’ve helped turn her into an avatar for young girls on the cusp of steeper emotional terrain. On a December afternoon in a leafy neighborhood here, Ms. Cabello, 20, whose name is pronounced “ca-meela ca-beyo,” revisited ground zero of her romantic vicissitudes. Ten years ago, in the butterfly garden at Pinecrest Elementary School, a young Romeo set a date with her among the Panama roses and gave her her first kiss, unlocking the source code for a bottomless trove of love songs. “It was this boy that I was obsessed with my whole time in elementary school,” she recalled, standing in the garden. “He kissed me on the cheek and I ran away — I still do that when someone wants to kiss me. ”Though not yet of legal drinking age, Ms. Cabello has come a long way from the schoolyard. At 15, she was beamed into the homes of millions of Americans as a contestant on the United States version of the reality-singing competition “The X Factor.” The show placed her in a five-woman vocal group modeled on One Direction that the viewers at home named Fifth Harmony. Two albums — on Simon Cowell’s Syco label in partnership with Epic Records — and six tours followed in a span of five years, during which time Ms. Cabello was, if not officially the group’s lead, a consensus favorite, with the biggest voice and those disarming eyes. And then it all went to pieces. As manufactured pop groups tend to do. Only in this case, the split seemed sudden and surprisingly vicious: One day, Fifth Harmony was performing at the final stop of the Jingle Ball tour, smiling and hair-flipping. The next, a series of contentious and contradictory statements were released, and Ms. Cabello found herself on the lonely end of a sharp divide. That was just over a year ago. In the interim, Ms. Cabello has struck out on her own, putting her hands on the controls of her professional life for the first time. Her new album, “Camila,” arriving Jan. 12, will test her prospects as a solo proposition. The biggest stars to break away from groups — Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake, Beyoncé — did so from stronger footing, in eras when the music industry was thriving. Today, Ms. Cabello is just one in a cacophony of voices aiming to break through in a harsh, post-streaming environment. “It’s not easy for anybody, regardless of your starting point,” said Tom Poleman, the chief programming officer for the radio conglomerate iHeartMedia, which recently booked Ms. Cabello solo for its Jingle Ball. “The field is so competitive that you really need the planets to align.” At times, sole proprietorship has been overwhelming, with people constantly asking Ms. Cabello for her creative input or asking what happened with Fifth Harmony — a subject she does her best to avoid. “I think there’s a healthy amount of space you need to give certain things,” she said. And so for 11 days in late December, in the cocoon of her hometown, she took a break. She settled into old rhythms at her family home and came to Pinecrest to pick up her younger sister, Sofia, only after wresting herself from a savored “Sex and the City” binge. (“In my heart I’m a Carrie, but sadly I think I act like a Charlotte,” she said.) On a tour of its green, al fresco campus, wearing True Religion overalls with one suspender undone and black hightop Chuck Taylors, she looked at ease and made everyone around her feel the same. An old teacher asked whether she would be going on tour soon and she said she was in no rush. “For now,” she said, “I just want to be a kid.” Ms. Cabello comes from a lineage of strivers. She was born in Havana to a Cuban mother and Mexican father and moved back and forth between Cojímar and Mexico City until age 6. One day, her mother, Sinuhe, told her she was going to Disney World, and the two spent the next month together riding by bus to an immigration center at the Mexican border with the United States. Sinuhe had been an architect in Cuba, but in Miami, where she and her daughter moved in with a close family friend, she found work in the shoe department at a Marshall’s. Alejandro, Ms. Cabello’s father, emigrated later and earned money washing cars at the mall. Eventually the couple saved enough to start their own construction company. “My parents’ story helps me to know what’s important in life,” Ms. Cabello said. “A lot of times you can be here and be on Twitter and you think that the world is the internet. But I know what it’s like in the places my family has come from and the struggles people go through.” It caught Sinuhe and Alejandro by surprise when, for her 15th birthday in 2012, Ms. Cabello asked them to drive her to audition for the second season of “The X Factor.” “She was so shy, so shy,” said Sinuhe, who now travels with her daughter on the road, describing how her oldest child would regularly burst into tears at family parties with large crowds and loud music. “We didn’t even think music was a possibility for her,” Sinuhe said. In Fifth Harmony — with Ally Brooke, Dinah Jane, Lauren Jauregui and Normani Kordei — Ms. Cabello was living a dream. The group performed at the White House (twice) and released addictive hits like “Worth It” and “Work From Home” that alone racked up over one billion streams, according to Nielsen Music, and earned them legions of fiercely loyal fans. But dreams can change. In a statement released at midnight on Dec. 18, 2016, the four other members of the group suggested that Ms. Cabello had turned her back on them, communicating her intentions to leave “through her representatives.” Ms. Cabello, in a subsequent statement of her own, said that she had long been open about her desire to explore a solo career and was blindsided by what amounted to a public excommunication. Over a feast of Cuban food at one of her family’s favorite restaurants in Miami, and in a subsequent interview in New York a week later, she agreed to speak at length about how things fell apart. She said that her collaboration in late 2015 with Mr. Mendes — the first time a Fifth Harmony member released music under her own name — had created tension; t hat she had asked to help write lyrics for Fifth Harmony songs and was rebuffed; that she initially wanted to stay in the group while working on a solo album but the other members shut her out instead. “I was just curious and I wanted to learn and I saw all these people around me making music, writing songs and being so free,” she said. “I just wanted to do that and it did not work.” Ms. Cabello said that after the awkwardness of her collaboration with Mr. Mendes, things further soured when she began attending writing sessions with producers including Diplo, Cashmere Cat and Benny Blanco. Eventually, she said, she was given an ultimatum. “It became clear that it was not possible to do solo stuff and be in the group at the same time,” she said. So she made her choice, basing it on what she said was her conviction that “if anyone wants to explore their individuality, it’s not right for people to tell you no.” Since the breakup, Ms. Cabello has tried to move on from hard feelings, throwing herself into “Camila.” (She changed its name from “The Hurting, the Healing, the Loving” partly to wash her hands of drama.) But it hasn’t always been easy. In August last year, the remaining members took a less-than-subtle jab at their former groupmate with a stunt that opened a high-profile performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. As the camera zoomed in on a dark, elevated platform showing five women in silhouette, one was dramatically yanked off the stage as if hit by a truck. Ms. Cabello’s eyes welled up as she recalled watching it live. She had been at home in the living room with her mother. “It definitely hurt my feelings,” she said. “I wasn’t expecting it, I wasn’t prepared for it — especially because at that point I’d moved on from it. I was just like, ‘What? Why?’” She gathered herself. “I have to make space for the good stuff to happen in my life,” she said. “I don’t like holding onto the past, especially when it’s stuff that, in my opinion, is just petty.” Like the pop astronauts who went solo before her, Ms. Cabello is now both a known quantity and a blank slate, caught between an outsize past and an uncertain future. Her first single as a solo artist was an early artifact of this wobbly developmental period. “Crying in the Club” — an arch, dancehall-flecked power ballad released last spring — was produced by Benny Blanco from an original demo written and recorded by Sia. The track underperformed commercially and was left off the final track list of “Camila.” “The reality of that song is it doesn’t feel or sound like Camila,” said Roger Gold, Ms. Cabello’s manager and a former lawyer for Fifth Harmony. Mr. Gold said it took time for Ms. Cabello, free of the army of handlers and tacticians who maintained creative control of the girl group, to feel comfortable asserting herself in front of more seasoned collaborators. “The most important learning in this whole thing was that we were most successful when Camila trusted in her own instincts,” he said. A breakthrough came while she was working with the producer Frank Dukes, born Adam Feeney, who has made his name as a prolific but low-key co-conspirator of self-styled stars like Drake and Lorde. Many potential collaborators had come to the studio armed with sleek, brassy Top 40 munitions in the style of Fifth Harmony hits. But Mr. Feeney’s approach was more nonchalant. Over sushi during an early session with Ms. Cabello last winter, he played her a deceptively simple instrumental with a prominent salsa piano riff. It reminded the singer of her birthplace, and she wrote the chorus for what became “Havana” on the spot. “There’s not another artist in the world who could have done that song — she just owns it,” Mr. Feeney said. Many of the songs on “Camila,” which Mr. Feeney executive produced and includes writing by Ms. Cabello on every track, are infused with tonal or lyrical references to her Latin heritage. Ms. Cabello said she took inspiration from the Latin music that soundtracked her childhood, as well as more contemporary reggaeton revisionists like Calle 13 and J Balvin. Then she blended those sounds with the auteur pop of artists like her friends Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran, hoping to unearth her own original recipe. “I feel like the best way to come up with something new and different is just to be the you-est you possible,” Ms. Cabello said. “If you pull from all the different little parts of yourself, nobody can replicate that.” Mr. Poleman, of iHeartMedia, said it is Ms. Cabello’s sensibilities as a songwriter that will define her career. With “Havana” and “Bad Things,” he said, “she has quickly established herself as one of the most important young artists in pop music. “It always comes down to whether or not you have a song that resonates,” he added. “I know she spends a lot of time thinking about that.” In an under-lit, overpriced restaurant in Midtown Manhattan after her break in Miami had ended, Ms. Cabello, who has lately imagined herself as a vegan, provoked a kale salad while bopping along to Michael Jackson’s “The Way You Make Me Feel.” The song had been a highlight from a recent Christmas Eve karaoke night with her family (she was the only one who knew its final “Give it to me” pre-chorus), and she grieved for her cocoon. In 48 hours, she would perform before Mariah Carey at “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest” in a bejeweled, ankle-length coat and metallic jumpsuit that made her look like a glamorous conquistador. Then she had a tour to design, and music video concepts to finalize and a social media campaign to figure out. She started to explain why things were trickier now, how she no longer had anyone to pick up the slack. “Even when there’s a day off, there’s never really a day off, because there’s so many decisions to be made and you’re always rushing to make stuff,” she said, as Jackson ad-libbed in the background. The music kept making her lose her train of thought. Finally, after a few vain attempts to catch it, she gave in and stopped explaining herself and sang along.[source]

#camila cabello #interview #ny times

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youdecode · 3 years

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Something that Seems Bad But is actually Good | Adopt 4 ‘Bad’ behaviors

Aren’t you tired of being too good? I am. But, you are also shy to be bad? Why? Society will punish you — with actions, words, and stares.

Imagine you’re Noland from Castaway, locked in an island.

In the midst of a solitary life full of uncertainties, you wish to get a tattoo, drive on the road’s the wrong side, smoke inside an elevator, play awful pranks, and party till late — only if you could go back where existence is.

But what if you’re not as lucky as Noland — who actually got a chance to relive? What if you spot angels before adopting so-called “bad” behaviors and depart with “I wish”?

Pity.

“We live, or we die by the clock!” Noland shouts. “We never turn our back on it, and we never, ever allow ourselves the sin of losing track of time.”

So, time is all you have.

Doing what society wants you to do, often, devoid you of real fun, wasting your precious time, stealing the joy of weird experiences.

So, there is no harm in being a little naughty and doing things which, otherwise, are seen as threatening.

Yes, to be polite is suggestive; to be productive is appreciated.

But today I’ll advise you to be bad because being “bad” doesn’t take much. Don’t trust me?

See for yourself, as unappreciative social behaviors peppered in this post suggest violating some restrictive social expectations. Let’s dive:

1. Let Your Tongue Twirl

I have never sworn in public, like never. In third grade, I called my class fellow “stupid”, and that mama’s boy complained to the class teacher, destroying my image partially.

From that day, yes, life traveled a great deal — but the incident remained precisely in its place. I ensured to always maintain animosity against badmouthing.

Especially, swearing. But, as of writing now, my brain is nudging to change this hostility — all credit to the studies confirming how swearing helps one overcome frustration.

I used to roll my eyeballs on people who when stuck in traffic swear at others — but now I’m sure it helped them, as according to recent research, swearing helps people cope with anger.

Further, Richard Stephens of Keele University (UK), in his study published in Neuroreport, explains,

“There are many well-documented benefits of swearing, including improving pain tolerance, boosting physical strength, and helping social cohesion.”

Stephen carried out an interesting experiment where swearing helped in reducing and enduring pain.

People were asked to put their hand in an ice bucket; those who swore all the while were able to pull the challenge for two minutes, nearly double the time, than those who remained good mouth.

But, Stephen also explained how mainly occasional swearing helps alleviate the pain.

So make it only a casual habit, strategically deployed. Logic? Well, over-swearing will make it lose its emotional power, making it less effective in alleviating pain — after all, swearing is a dynamic language.

Don’t you think we need more such studies? Caught you!

According to another study published in the Leadership and Organization Development Journal by Yehuda Baruch of the University of East Anglia, swearing enables employees to channel frustration and develop strong social relations.

Take away: Swear, but strategically.

2. Get Disgusting

This one is probably the most disgusting. Weird. Strange. You name an awful feeling, and it is it.

But there has been research, so it’s worth a share. In 2008, Friedrich Bischinger, an Austrian lung specialist, explained how eating snot helps strengthen the immune system. He goes on telling,

“People who pick their nose and eat it,” he said, “get a natural boost to their immune system for free. I would recommend a new approach where children are encouraged to pick their noses. It is a completely natural response and medically a good idea as well.”

What is science?

Well, research says bacteria deposited on the nose when it hits the intestine acts as a medicine.

Bischinger was not alone. Even biochemist, Scott Napper of the University of Saskatchewan, shared a similar viewpoint, theorizing how hygiene improvement boosts allergies, so eating snot may strengthen the immune system by ingesting a few harmless germs into the body.

Interestingly, the same idea can be deployed on a lesser level of disgusting activity: nail-biting. I never had a habit of biting my nails.

Like never. But I had ample friends, always angry at their fingernails’ crooked appeal and stunted growth — clearly, they were nail-biters.

No matter how biting nails may appear displeasing socially, but medically, it’s right for you.

How so? Well, the biting inject germs directly into the orifice. Bringing in newer germs into the body strengthens your immune system as it repeatedly then fends off bacteria.

Additionally, according to Amy Standen of npr.org, nail-biting is now considered an act of “pathological grooming.” Amy interviewed Carol Mathews, a psychiatrist, who explained to her how nail-biting acts as a reward.

When met with anxiety, biting the right nail feels good. Mathew explains how it is an advantageous relief method over vices like smoking cigarettes.

I might be on the verge of losing my pretty nails — as the study of it being a stress reliever, illuminated me.

Take away: It’s alright to bite your nails for strengthening your immune system — but, occasionally.

3. Turn Into a Dull Useless Soul

Have you ever been subject to self-pity when boredom sucked the soul out of you?

After digesting this research, you probably would not, as boredom is psychologically useful.

Van Tilburg, from the University of Limerick, tells the Guardian:

“Boredom makes people long for different and purposeful activities, and as a result, they turn towards more challenging and meaningful activities, turning towards what they perceive to be meaningful in life.”

Interestingly, Adrian Savage, an editor at Lifehack, adds,

“Boredom stimulates the search for better ways to do things like nothing else does.”

Another study made people watch dull, boring videos, resulting in their increased performance in creative tasks.

So next time, when you feel an utterly useless person in boredom, think twice — as you are doing nothing but triggering your creativity.

Now I reflect why all the creative ideas always land in my mind when I have absolutely nothing to do — and the very reason why people’s random videos made during boredom go viral.

Takeaway: No matter how much society labels you as a useless couch potato, get intentionally bored for your next inspiration.

4. Become that Rude Movie Character & Chew

Why in every movie is a shady character always chewing gum?

I don’t get why people don’t consider it a pretty sight and associate it with mannerless.

An interesting study, instead, showcases how it has cognitive benefits.

Chew it before performing any cognitive task to increase the blood oxygen level. In the book Senescence and Senescence-Related Disorders, Kin-ya Kubo expounds on how chewing gum helps with stress-related disorders.

I can vouch for this.

Even if I forget to keep a gum with me, my best friend always carries it with her because it wonders for anxiety, stress, nausea, nervousness, and whatnot!

Studies have also proved how chewing gum boosts thinking and alertness by 10% as nearly eight brain areas get affected, mostly concerning movement and attention.

Andy Smith of Cardiff University sums up:

“The effects of chewing on reaction time are profound. Perhaps football managers arrived at the idea of chewing gum by accident, but they seem to be on the right track.”

Takeaway: Ditch the etiquettes and smack the gum in.

Final words for Something that Seems Bad But is actually Good

Why adopt any of the techniques laid above?

It’s always good to have a change. Life is short. Tasting “not so acceptable” behaviors frequently add spice to your life — even if momentarily.

Remember good behavior exists because of “Bad”, so do not dismiss the idea of bad behaviors completely.

Rather explore bad behaviors, which sometimes can be good for you.

Violate some outworn social behaviors classified as bad and be intentional about it.

Remember, it’s good to be bad with awareness rather than being good without awareness.

So next time when your brain requests you to try something terrible, give it a thought, at least — before rebelling.

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flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash · 6 years

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Hey Ash! Can you please recommend me a few good slow burn fics that's like 100k? It doesn't matter which fandom :) thanks!

Okay, so I went through my bookmarks and such all over my laptop, because it actually was reminding me of older slow burns I loved and now I want to re read some of them. A lot of these are well over 100k. When I go for slow burns, I don’t play around lol. I also tend to prefer reading ships with 2 canon characters for slow burns, rather than OC characters, but that’s just a personal preference, so that’s why these are mainly ships. Enjoy!

Forward to a Time Past by Unbridled Brunette (~270k words, Buffy/Spike) This is a time travel slow burn, if you’re into that pairing. It’s AMAZING! Buffy goes back in time to Victorian London, when Spike is the still human, very shy, very virginal William. It’s brilliant. And it was the first fic that had me all in with the idea of an inexperienced man who is “taught” by the woman. It has that Pride & Prejudice vibe, where it’s scandalous to even touch bare hands, let alone make love to someone when unmarried, and I’m such a sucker for that. I remember being upset when I finished this story, because I knew I wouldn’t find a Spike/Buffy slow burn that I loved this much ever again…and I haven’t.

You Know Better by @xteenwolfwritingsx (~77k words, Peter Hale/OC, Teen Wolf) This is hands down the best long Peter fic I have ever read! As I said, I don’t typically go for OC/you characters for longer fics, but this OC was so relatable and well-written, and I remember reading the first chapter of this and having to put my phone down, because I was just like, “Holy shit, I’m gonna become so obsessed with this story”. And I am. I read it twice in two weeks. I haven’t read the newest couple of chapters, purely because I know the author said that it’s going to be finished soon, so I’m waiting until it’s completed so I can go back and read it a third time from the beginning and take it all in, start to finish. The premise is that the OC/you asks Peter to teach her how to fight, so she’s not just the helpless human of the group. And oh boy…Peter as a fighting instructor…god…yea…it’s hot. I was about to scream waiting for them to finally rip each other’s clothes off, and god it was so worth the wait when they did! If you’re at all into Peter, read this!

Your Hands Can Heal, Your Hands Can Bruise by blackestnight10 (~430k words, Daryl Dixon/OC) Sadly, this is not a completed story. And honestly, I don’t remember a lot of details about it, but it was the first long Walking Dead fic I ever read. It’s Daryl with an OC character, and the two things I do remember is that the OC kicked ass and yet was also likeable and intriguing, and that it was a torturous slow burn. I mean, it’s realistic to Daryl, because I don’t see him as someone who jumps in bed with anyone, so the author stayed really in canon with his character. And I stayed up late many a night devouring it.

Spiced Molasses by MonDieu666 (~140k words, Daryl/Beth) - This one is a fantastic AU slow burn. Beth’s parents are assassinated, and she and her two siblings have to be put into protective custody in separate locations. Rick calls in Daryl, the irritable lone ranger agent, to watch Beth. Cue one of my favorite tropes: them stuck unwillingly in a tiny apartment together, at first not liking each other, where they dance around each other until finally giving in to their desires. It’s a fabulous story!

18 Miles Out by MonDieu666 (~190k words, Daryl/Beth) - I’ll admit that I don’t remember a whole lot of details on this one…but I DO remember that I wrote down which chapters the smut is in and kept it handy, because I went back countless times to re read those chapters, since they were so sexy. This author is fabulous for her longer Bethyl fics (she wrote the previous one and this next one, as well).

Damaged Heroes by MonDieu666 (~135k words, Daryl/Beth) - I’m also struggling to remember the details of this one. I think I get this story and 18 Miles Out mixed up a lot, and it’s been years since I read them, but they were both fabulous and worth a read.

I’ll Be Yours for a Song by dynamicsymmetry (~380k words, Daryl/Beth) This is a breathtakingly beautiful AU fic. In the first chapter, Daryl drives down a country road and finds Beth walking, soaking wet, in the rain. He debates on if he should stop and offer her a ride, and when he does, it kick starts a romance that is just…ugh, so good. I will admit that I didn’t get the entire way through it (it’s a pretty long fic) because I kept getting side tracked by other fics, but it’s one that I still, even over a year later, keep open on a Safari tab on my phone, and I want to go back and re read it from the beginning at some point…maybe that’ll be my goal for the beginning of 2018. This author writes Daryl and Beth exactly how I picture they would be together. The hesitation, the fear of falling in love, the hurdles of their age difference (Beth is still in high school at the beginning of it, altho I believe she’s 18). It’s just magical.

Howl by dynamicsymmetry (~383k words and still being written, Daryl/Beth) This is another story that I need to catch up on, because I’ve gotten way behind on it. It’s another AU, this time with Rick and the gang being werewolf shapeshifters, and Beth being…well…I don’t want to spoil the surprise, because that’s part of the mystery, is her discovering who she is and how she stumbles upon werewolf Daryl in the beginning. This fic hit some kinks I didn’t even realize I had…and I’m not ashamed to admit that I still have some fanart saved on my phone based off this fic, of Daryl in werewolf form banging human Beth XD

Eden by obsessmuch (~265k words, Hermione Granger/Lucius Malfoy) Sooo this story is FUCKED UP! I mean seriously, it is not for the faint of heart. I don’t think I’ve ever read a more angst-ridden fic in my entire life…but holy shit, I loved it. This is not a fluffy romantic type of slow burn, ohhh no. This is Lucius at his most vicious. He tortures the fuck outta Hermione in the beginning, and you hate him with a fiery passion, the same way Hermione does. And yet, this Stockholm-Syndrome type obsession starts between them, and forms into a fucked up version of love. Also, the ending…oh my god, I still sometimes sit and think about the ending. If you’re at all intrigued by the idea of a dark as hell fic that’ll chew you up and spit you back out with all the feels, give this one a chance. But don’t say that I didn’t warn you ;)

Chasing the Sun by Loten (490k words, Hermione/Snape) This was my first fandom ship, over a decade ago, and I just started diving back into it a few months ago, so I have a ton of long fics to catch up on. However, Loten currently is, and I think quite likely will always be, my favorite Snamione author. Both this fic and the next one on the list by her are my immediate recommendations for someone wanting to try out this pairing. She dives into the psychology of Snape in a way that is just…perfect. I don’t know how anyone can question them being together as a couple after reading both her long fics. The slow burn in this is slow…reallll slow, but holy fuck is the smut worth the wait. But it makes sense, because it starts out when Hermione is 15 or 16, I think (there’s zero romance or even physical awareness of each other until she’s 17, though, since that’s the Wizarding age of consent). It’s more a journey of their interactions together, and it’s honestly a beautiful story. It sticks to canon in the beginning, then goes off the rails, but in a way that I really enjoyed. It was Snape getting the part in the war and taking down Voldemort that he deserved, in my opinion. Loten also includes Crookshanks in her stories, and I really wish more Snamione authors would do this. The scenes with Crookshanks and Snape added so much humor and fluff to the story, both this one and the next fic.

Post Tenebras, Lux by Loten (~310k words, Hermione/Snape) So, where the last fic was how Hermione and Snape would come together while she was still at school and during the war, this fic takes a look at how they would get together 10 years after the war is over. Snape has disappeared, most people think he died in the Shrieking Shack, even tho a body was never found…until Hermione literally runs into him one day, 10 years later, and it kicks start their interactions. Since the war is over in this fic, it is 100% character driven, and focuses solely on the development of the relationship of these two. If you need swash buckling action and a grand, dramatic plot like taking down Voldemort in a fic, this isn’t for you. But I LOVED it. It’s not as slow a burn as Loten’s other fic, but it delves into the post-war traumas and psychology of both Snape and Hermione in a way that had me hooked from the very beginning. It spans years of their relationship, and how they would develop not just from meeting to falling in love (like where most fics then stop) but beyond and throughout their entire lives. And, like Loten’s other fic, it gave Snape the true love and happy ending that I believe he deserves, and it had me grinning like a fool the rest of the day after I finished it.

Pet Project by Caeria (~340k words, Hermione/Snape) This is quite the epic slow burn…I mean, when I say it’s slow, it’s SLOW (literally 95% of it is the slow burn). It had me so captivated, and I loved Hermione’s personal “mission” to try and show Snape that he had someone on his side..without him realizing someone was actually trying to be on his side. They were both so in character, especially while they were at Hogwarts. This is another one where she starts out as a student, but it’s once again not romantic or sexual until she’s at least 17. The part where she makes him magical sheets is a scene that will always stick out in my memory. As is the scene where they sit together on the staircase of Grimmauld Place.

Okay, I’m gonna stop now. Those are the main ones I found when scouring my google sheets, laptop bookmarks, and bookmarks on sites like ao3 and FF.

If anyone reads any of these and wants to discuss them, PLEASE feel free to message me! I LOVE discussing fics, especially slow burn fics that give me all the feels, so that I can squeal with someone else over the feels.

#the walking dead #daryl dixon #bethyl #snamione #severus snape #hermione granger #lucius malfoy #harry potter #peter hale #teen wolf #spike #buffy #spuffy #slow burn #fic recs #ash reads #Anonymous

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salmankhanholics · 4 years

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★ The Decade Power: Salman Khan, the emperor who ruled the box-office like no-one else!

Jan 10, 2020

This decade saw the rise and fall of the biggest stalwarts from the industry. While a lot has been spoken about the star-power of the actors, here’s a series that analyses in-depth the strengths and weaknesses of the top 10 Bollywood stars, and ranks them based on their performance this decade taking into account factors like magnitude of success, opening day collections, consistency, potential, awareness, and loyal fanfollowing. The one who scores high on all the fronts will be crowned the STAR OF THIS DECADE.

Number 1 on the list is Salman Khan and here’s a report card at how he fared between 2010 and 2019.

2010-2015:

After a not-so-good run from 2000 to 2009, Salman Khan kicked-off the last decade with his ambitious project, Veer, which though took a decent start at the box-office couldn’t do wonders due to the below par word of mouth. What happened post Veer is probably one of the biggest turn around in the history of Indian Cinema, as his stardom scaled new heights with Abhinav Kashyap’s Dabangg, which presented him as the badass Robin Hood cop. The film took a record opening, and continued to set new records in terms of single day collections over the weekend and proved to be second highest grossing film of all time back then. Without any ado, it was a blockbuster. While a lot thought of it as a fluke considering his past record, Salman followed it up with Ready – a record non-holiday opener as well as grosser, Bodyguard– the first Hindi film to breach past the Rs. 20 crore mark on a single day, Ek Tha Tiger– the first film to go pas the Rs. 30 crore mark on a single day and Dabangg 2 – record non-holiday opener.

All the five films proved to be blockbusters of epic proportions, and Salman Khan became the only star in the history of Bollywood to deliver 5 consecutive blockbusters, that too in a limited span of merely 3 years. In the times when all his contemporaries (barring Aamir) were struggling to even touch the Rs. 75 crore mark, Salman delivered the Rs. 100 crore grossers with ease. And back then, the Rs. 100 crore club wasn’t as redundant as it is today. It was sheer RAW stardom that enabled the film to take record starts as well as pose humongous lifetime totals. After 5 back to back blockbusters, he came up with brother, Sohail Khan’s Jai Ho. The film opened in January with day one figures of Rs. 16.50 crore despite the tacky production values and not so accepted songs, it breached past the Rs. 100 crore mark in 2013. It was termed an underperformer and an average grosser at the box-office, again in the times when most of the actors, Rs. 100 crore was a mark of success. In terms of box-office, what Siddhant Chaturvedi said for nepotism stays true for Salman in terms of collections – “Jahaan Baakiyo Ke Sapne Pure Hote Hai, Waha Salman Ka Struggle Shuru Hota Hai,” as what was a mark of success for others, was termed an underperformed for Salman and the struggle for the hit mark began post that number.

Post Jai Ho, he got back in form again with Kick, which proved to be a blockbuster and also the first Salman Khan film to enter the Rs. 200 crore club at the box-office. Kick was followed by the landmark film of his career, Bajrangi Bhaijaan, which defied all laws and breezed past the Rs. 100, 200 and 300 crore club. Bajrangi Bhaijaan was the seventh blockbuster for Salman in his last 8 releases. And that’s a count more than the combined blockbusters taken together of some of his contemporaries. Bajrangi Bhaijaan was followed by Prem Ratan Dhan Payo, which holds the record of getting maximum audience on board in terms of footfalls on a single day. The film managed earn a little above the Rs. 200 crore mark, but yet underperformed viz-a-viz the expectations, as trade expected it to go past the Rs. 300 crore club. None the less, it was a hit. Salman ended the first half of decade with 10 films, of which 7 were blockbusters, 1 was a hit, 1 average and one below average grosser.

2010: Rs. 186.53 crore

2011: Rs. 268.64 crore

2012: Rs. 353.78 crore

2013:

2014: Rs. 347.85 crore

2015: Rs. 530.50 crore

2016 – 2019

Riding on a high, Salman continued his domination in 2016 as well with Ali Abbas Zafar’s Sultan. The hype surrounding the film was at another level as it featured Salman Khan as a wrestler and backed by chartbuster music. It became the first and only Hindi film to rake in over Rs. 30 crore for five consecutive days and earned over 180 crore within its extended opening weekend. 4 years since then and record till date stands unchallenged. It was a blockbuster, 8th for Salman this decade. The follow up to this was Tubelight, a film that was far away from what Salman has done this decade. It appealed to the multiplex audience, and took a reasonable opening of Rs 20 crore plus on a pre-Eid Friday. Salman’s presence also got the masses on board, but the end product was disappointing and so were the lifetime collections around the Rs. 120 crore mark. But then, the Tiger returned as Salman got back to his home turf with Tiger Zinda Hai, a massive Rs. 340 crore blockbuster, thereby being the 9th for him this decade. If one goes down the history, this would probably be the highest that any star has delivered in a span of 10 years. The stage was set for him to become the first actor to have 10 blockbusters in a decade, but the route after Tiger Zinda Hai was a bit hazy and an opportunity missed.

Race 3 was probably the biggest mistake of his career this decade wherein he took the audience on a ride by sleepwalking through the film delivering a half-baked product. Despite horrendous reviews – from audience and critics alike – it did make the money with lifetime numbers around the Rs. 170 crore mark. But the film did tamper Salman’s goodwill as the word of mouth was horrible to say the least. This was followed by a noble attempt, Bharat, which went a little haywire due to the prolonged runtime, and stretched climax. The film, though a success, couldn’t scale the heights that previous two collaboration of Salman Khan and Ali Abbas Zafar did. This was followed by a formula film like Dabangg, which became his only film apart from Veer that wouldn’t touch the 1 crore footfall mark. Poetic ending we must say considering that in his decade of dominance, only his first and last release of the decade didn’t touch the Rs. 1 crore footfall mark.

2016: Rs. 300.45 crore

2017: Rs. 458.42 crore

2018: Rs. 166.40 crore

2019: Rs. 355.00 crore (expected)*

The number crunching analysis:

The numbers above speak for themselves as the RAW stardom that Salman displayed this decade is something everyone in the industry would just dream off. At the start of the decade, his merely presence took films to the blockbuster mark, however with times changing that isn’t enough and his films need to be backed by some substance. Bajrangi Bhaijaan, Sultan and Tiger Zinda Hai showed us the potential that a good film with Salman has; while Bharat showed us his ability to take an average film to the Rs. 200 crore mark. On the flip side, Race 3 and Dabangg 3 showed us that his loyal audience has the spending power to take his bad films above the Rs. 100 crore mark. His has been the star of the decade, but there needs to be some sort of introspection soon before he loses this crown to someone else (read Akshay Kumar). In terms of audience pull, no one comes close to Salman at the moment, but the time isn’t far away when audience lose their trust and refrain from watching his film after being cheated multiple times. He missed out on collection Rs 3000 crore this decade by a whisker and little better planning towards the end would have ensured him to go past the number like a breeze. He missed out on it by Rs. 37 crore (approx.) and without the CAA protests, the gap would have been even narrower as Dabangg 3 lost approx. Rs. 15 to 20 crore from its lifetime due to the turbulences. His average collection per film is as good as Aamir Khan, who did half the number of films that Salman did and the total aggregate collection this decade is almost similar to Akshay, who did twice more the films that Salman did. He managed to strike a perfect balance between quality and quantity. A film more, or may be a little better content and Rs. 3000 crore would have been a history for him. None the less, a humongous feat.

Where does Salman go from here?

Well, we have a lot about the route that Salman should choose from hereon. The best way forward for him is to do films that have some sort of content for the audience rather than the Dabanggs and Races of the world, which ride solely on his screen presence. The audience is willing to see Salman in different avatar, and the fact that his non-formula film, Bharat earned more than Dabangg 3 and Race 3 reinstates the fact that Salman should do films in the commercial space, which should not necessarily be action.

A good drama, with him in the larger than life character like Pawan from Bajrangi Bhaijaan or even Bharat from Bharat, can do wonders with the audience. He has a massive pull among the family audience, and that’s a section that is eager to watch feel-good drama’s with larger than life cause. May be a film with Sooraj Barjatya or a reunion with Kabir Khan or Ali Abbas Zafar is the way forward. That aside, Salman has a terrific success rate in the comedy genre too, and if he comes across the right comedy script with an able director, he should just jump onto the opportunity and get it on one of the Diwali’s. A humble request to Salman is to understand the fact that the audience is willing to see him in good film, and that doesn’t necessarily have to be in the action genre. The “Bhai” image is cultivated in the last 10 years, but there is large section of audience for whom he is still the simple innocent “Prem”, and he still has the ability to make them smile and cry with the innocence.

A right film, with his stardom, can set the box-office on fire and history is full of examples. A little attention to the casting and music, backed by an interesting script in any space will get Salman back in the race. Here’s hoping to see him explore different space post Radhe.

Final summary at glance:

Total Collections: Rs. 2965 crore

Total Films: 16

Average/Film: Rs. 185. 31 crore

#salman khan #ruled #decade #bh #salman ruled decade #emperor #box office #bo

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gadgetsrevv · 5 years

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Rebekah Vardy-Coleen Rooney Instagram feud: Why the football wives are fighting

As Britain descends into an increasingly bleak political horror show, today the country is delivering on its most famous export: Shakespearean drama. On the morning of October 9, two famous wives of major football (i.e. soccer) players were embroiled in an epic feud that just so happens to be deliciously suited to the era of Instagram Stories and private accounts. It’s the kind of splashy kerfuffle that forces people who previously had zero knowledge of or interest in a group of people or perhaps an entire sport to eschew all their responsibilities and learn everything they possibly can about it all in the span of a few hours.

This particular English Renaissance play stars two women, Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy (who goes by Becky), both wives of footballers who played for the England national team. Like many WAGs (an acronym for the wives and girlfriends of athletes), the two were friends, and Rooney had trusted Vardy enough to be included on her private Instagram account, where Rooney would post personal updates about her friends and family.

But according to an operatic tweet posted by Rooney on Wednesday morning, which is at once a brutal damnation of Vardy’s actions and a master class in scene-setting and plot building, Vardy was selling those private stories to the press. “For a few years now someone who I trusted to follow me on my personal Instagram account has been consistently informing the Sun newspaper of my private posts and stories,” it begins.

“After a long time of trying to figure out who it could be, for various reasons, I had a suspicion,” Rooney writes. Here’s where it gets good: “To try and prove this, I came up with an idea. I blocked everyone from viewing my Instagram stories except ONE account.”

Coleen Rooney in 2018.

Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images

Rooney then writes that, over the last five months, she posted a series of fake pieces of information about her life to see if they ended up in the Sun. They did: On August 15, the Sun published a story about Rooney and her husband traveling to Mexico to seek controversial gender selection treatment. On September 28, the paper published a story about Rooney possibly joining the BBC reality show Strictly Come Dancing; a third piece about a supposed flood at the Rooney’s Cheshire mansion was also published by the Sun. (All these stories published in the Sun have since been taken down.)

Rooney writes that it was difficult to remain silent and refrain from commenting when the false stories spread about her but that it ultimately helped her find the culprit.

“I have saved and screenshotted all the original [Instagram] stories which clearly show just one person has viewed them,” she writes.

“It’s……. Rebekah Vardy’s account.”

By the time Americans were starting to wake up, the news had lit up British media. That’s not just because the British press is among the thirstiest in the world. It’s because the story had everything: a Notes app-esque manifesto, the genius weaponization of social media, the demonization of a woman named Becky, the exposure of shady tabloid inner workings, and yes, two very rich women fighting with each other, one of whom is widely beloved among football fans for “standing by her man” (Rooney) and one of whom is seen as a fame-hungry money-grubber (that’d be Becky). The Rooney-Vardy feud lets us all feel the kind of vindication of knowing a maybe-bad person is an actually-bad person; it allows us to share in Rooney’s catharsis as she closes her explosive note with the absolute perfect kicker. It’s ……. really great gossip.

Who are Coleen Rooney and Becky Vardy?

It has not been nearly as fun of a day for Becky Vardy, of course. Shortly after Rooney’s post was made public, she posted her own statement to Instagram denying the allegations, claiming that other people had access to her Instagram account and if only Rooney had called her when she first suspected that Vardy was leaking stories, she could have changed her passwords. “I don’t need the money, what would I gain from selling stories on you?” she wrote. “I liked you a lot Coleen & I’m so upset that you have chosen to do this, especially when I’m heavily pregnant. I’m disgusted that I even have to deny this.” Vardy has also reportedly tasked lawyers to conduct a “forensic investigation” on her Instagram account to find out who has access to it.

But for many who have followed both Vardy and Rooney for years, the two statements were vindication that their opinions about each woman were correct all along. “Becky Vardy has always been shady,” says SB Nation soccer writer Kim McCauley. “It’s very obvious she wants to take down Coleen because Coleen has always been the media’s favorite WAG, who got all the best TV spots, and Becky wants to take her place.”

Jamie and Becky Vardy in 2018.

Jan Kruger/Getty Images

“The Vardys are not nice people,” agrees Nicolle Zamora, who writes for the soccer site Unusual Efforts. She points to a series of racist statements both Becky and her husband Jamie Vardy have made in the past. Jamie has been caught on camera multiple times calling a person of Asian descent a racist slur; in 2014, Becky tweeted “Getting followed at 3am from work to your car by a weird black man has to be up there with one of the scariest moments ever!”

Becky in particular is also widely considered inappropriately fame-hungry — she was a cast member on the reality series I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here and regularly appears on talk shows like Loose Women, Good Morning Britain, and This Morning. Many have long suspected her of being the writer behind the Sun’s “Secret WAG” column, which covers football gossip from an anonymous WAG, which would solidify the link between Vardy and the Sun’s coverage of Rooney.

What adds insult to injury, Zamora adds, is that the Sun has a long and bitter history with the city of Liverpool, where both Coleen and her husband Wayne Rooney were born and raised (the Rooneys now live in the US, where Wayne plays for DC United). Since 1989, the people of Liverpool have boycotted the Sun for its false reporting on the horrific Hillsborough disaster, where 96 people were killed at an FA cup football game due to overcrowding inside the stadium.

Meanwhile, Coleen Rooney has long been royalty among football WAGs, once a part of the original queen WAG Victoria Beckham’s crew in the mid-aughts and now most known for being a mother and loyal wife during her husband’s various reported infidelities. People like her because, as London-based football fan Scott Perdue tells me over DM, she has a “humble background, stuck by her man, tries to stay out of the headlines.

“Coleen Rooney has absolutely bossed Rebekah Vardy,” he adds.

Why the Coleen Rooney-Becky Vardy feud is irresistible

But there is also something more universal going on with the Rooney-Vardy feud that’s pulling in even people totally unfamiliar with British WAG culture. Humans love stories about celebrities acting as investigative reporters of their own lives, and Rooney isn’t the first person to weaponize her social media accounts: Kim Kardashian has reportedly sent her friends fake photos of her newborn children to find out who is leaking information to the press. Fans, meanwhile, have started referring to Rooney as “Wagatha Christie” in admiration.

It might also simply be more banal than that. It’s refreshing, for once, to have a clear winner and a clear loser, to be able to root for one team without feeling sorry for the other. Ironically, this is also what can be so appealing about being a sports fan.

Charlotte Wilder of Sports Illustrated draws this parallel: “I’ve always said that sports are the greatest reality show. Even on reality TV, we assume that everything’s edited or manipulated. But you can’t have spoilers for a game, and there’s something really pure about that. And when the athletes’ lives mirror that unexpectedness, it’s thrilling to me.”

Wayne, Coleen, and son Kai Rooney in 2013.

Matthew Peters/Manchester United via Getty Images

Often, when we see athletes’ or celebrities’ lives play out in the press or on social media, there’s a tendency to assume what we’re seeing is in some way fabricated. The Rooney-Vardy feud, meanwhile, feels pure in its messiness. “A lot of times these athletes are very calculated because they know people are paying attention,” Wilder says. “And when done well, it becomes a master class in public relations. With something like this, [Rooney] knows she’s bulletproof, so she can take a risk. You don’t do this unless you’re pretty sure it’s not gonna backfire.”

Ultimately, what we’re talking about is leaked personal interest stories about the lives of famous people. “It’s still fairly petty,” Wilder laughs. “It’s not that there’s some horrible crime at the center of this, so it makes it a little more harmless to enjoy something like this. If it were really ugly and messy I would feel sad, but at this point, we can enjoy it.”

All of which makes Coleen Rooney and Becky Vardy the perfect distraction from literally everything else happening in the UK right now: a feud so neat and perfect it can be tied up with a bow, a Twelfth Night-style comedy of errors that writes itself where the good guy gets all the faves and the bad guy gets canceled. If nothing else, it beats talking about Brexit.

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#Gossip Rebekah Vardy-Coleen Rooney Instagram feud: Why the football wives are fighting

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natalieselsalvadoranlitblog · 5 years

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Natalie’s El Salvadoran Books

1. The Dream of My Return

by Horacio Castellanos Moya

“A high-octane paranoia deranges a writer and fuels a dangerous plan to return home to El Salvador.

Drinking way too much and breaking up with his wife, an exiled journalist in Mexico City dreams of returning home to El Salvador. But is it really a dream or a nightmare? When he decides to treat his liver pain with hypnosis, his few impulse-control mechanisms rapidly dissolve. Hair-brained schemes, half-mad arguments, unraveling murder plots, hysterical rants: everything escalates at a maniacal pace, especially the crazy humor. “ goodreads.com (Fiction)

2. The Beast: Riding the Rails and Dodging Narcos on the Migrant Trail

by Óscar Martínez

“One day a few years ago, 300 migrants were kidnapped between the remote desert towns of Altar, Mexico, and Sasabe, Arizona. A local priest got 120 released, many with broken ankles and other marks of abuse, but the rest vanished. Óscar Martínez, a young writer from El Salvador, was in Altar soon after the abduction, and his account of the migrant disappearances is only one of the harrowing stories he garnered from two years spent traveling up and down the migrant trail from Central America and across the US border. More than a quarter of a million Central Americans make this increasingly dangerous journey each year, and each year as many as 20,000 of them are kidnapped. Martínez writes in powerful, unforgettable prose about clinging to the tops of freight trains; finding respite, work and hardship in shelters and brothels; and riding shotgun with the border patrol. Illustrated with stunning full-color photographs, The Beast is the first book to shed light on the harsh new reality of the migrant trail in the age of the narcotraficantes. “ goodreads.com (Fiction)

3. Senselessness

by Horacio Castellanos Moya

“A boozing, sex-obsessed writer finds himself employed by the Catholic Church (an institution he loathes) to proofread a 1,100 page report on the army's massacre and torture of thousands of indigenous villagers a decade earlier, including the testimonies of the survivors. The writer's job is to tidy it up: he rants, "that was what my work was all about, cleaning up and giving a manicure to the Catholic hands that were piously getting ready to squeeze the balls of the military tiger." Mesmerized by the strange Vallejo-like poetry of the Indians' phrases ("the houses they were sad because no people were inside them"), the increasingly agitated and frightened writer is endangered twice over: by the spell the strangely beautiful heart-rending voices exert over his tenuous sanity, and by real danger—after all, the murderers are the very generals who still run this unnamed Latin American country. “ Goodreads.com (fiction)

4. El asco: Thomas Bernhard en San Salvador

by Horacio Castellanos Moya

“Edgardo Vega, tras dieciocho años de exilio voluntario en Canadá, se ve obligado a regresar a El Salvador para acudir al entierro de su madre. Ya el viaje, «una espeluznante travesía», se le hace insoportable, sus compatriotas le resultan repulsivos y provocan en él un estado de ansiedad que no le abandonará hasta que se marche. Todo esto se lo cuenta de manera torrencial a Moya, antiguo compañero de colegio, con quien queda durante su estancia para tomar unas copas, y el cual reproducirá posteriormente el salvaje monólogo de Vega. El Salvador le resulta a Vega despreciable, arremete contra todo: Iglesia, educación, política y políticos, su propia familia..., y vomita sus críticas de forma categórica, hasta el punto de identificarse con Thomas Bernhard.

Para Castellanos Moya escribir El asco fue una «descarga. Una descarga de frustración», después de que, finalizada la guerra civil, viera desbaratados los proyectos en los que se embarcó para lograr una transición democrática que lograra transformar la sociedad salvadoreña.” Goodreads.com (Fiction)

5. The Dream of My Return

by Horacio Castellanos Moya

“A high-octane paranoia deranges a writer and fuels a dangerous plan to return home to El Salvador.

6. Bitter Grounds

by Sandra Benítez

“Spanning the years between 1932 and 1977, this beautifully told epic is set in the heart of El Salvador, where coffee plantations are the center of life for rich and poor alike. Following three generations of the Prieto Clan and the wealthy family they work for, this is the story of mothers and daughters who live, love, and die for their passions.” Goodreads.com

7. The She-Devil in the Mirror

by Horacio Castellanos Moya

“Laura Rivera can’t believe what has happened. Her best friend has been killed in cold blood in the living room of her home, in front of her two young daughters! Nobody knows who pulled the trigger, but Laura will not rest easy until she finds out. Her dizzying, delirious, hilarious, and blood-curdling one-sided dialogue carries the reader on a rough and tumble ride through the social, political, economic, and sexual chaos of post-civil war San Salvador. A detective story of pulse-quickening suspense, The She-Devil in the Mirror is also a sober reminder that justice and truth are more often than not illusive. Castellanos Moya’s relentless, obsessive narrator—female, rich, paranoid, wonderfully perceptive, and, in the end, fabulously unreliable—paints with frivolous profundity a society in a state of collapse.

Castellanos Moya’s Senselessness was acclaimed “an innovative and invigoratingly twisted piece of art” (Village Voice) and “a brilliantly crafted moral fable, as if Kafka had gone to Latin America for his source materials” (Russell Banks).” Goodreads.com (fiction)

8. Noviembre

by Jorge Galán

“1989. La sociedad salvadoreña vive sumida en el horror de la guerra civil. Una fatídica madrugada de noviembre, un grupo de hombres armados entra en las instalaciones de la Universidad Católica y asesina a seis jesuitas y dos mujeres a sangre fría. El padre Tojeira se ve entonces obligado por las circunstancias a tomar las riendas de la Compañía en esos días siniestros tras la masacre, con el deseo y la obligación de descubrir la verdad que se esconde detrás de estas muertes. Sin embargo, la única testigo que podría ayudar a resolver el caso es acallada por las autoridades. ¿Quiénes son realmente los culpables de esta terrible matanza? Inspirada en los trágicos sucesos que conmovieron a El Salvador y Latinoamérica, Noviembre es una emotiva y turbadora novela sobre el miedo, el odio y la impunidad. Un libro que vierte por primera vez un poco de luz sobre los hechos nunca esclarecidos de 1989 y que se adentra en la historia de otros crímenes, como el de Monseñor Romero. Una reivindicación de la necesidad de levantar la voz, como hicieron los jesuitas asesinados, en defensa de los más desfavorecidos.” Goodreads.com (fiction)

9. So Much Blue

by Percival Everett

“A new high point for a master novelist, an emotionally charged reckoning with art, marriage, and the past

Kevin Pace is working on a painting that he won’t allow anyone to see: not his children; not his best friend, Richard; not even his wife, Linda. The painting is a canvas of twelve feet by twenty-one feet (and three inches) that is covered entirely in shades of blue. It may be his masterpiece or it may not; he doesn’t know or, more accurately, doesn’t care.

What Kevin does care about are the events of the past. Ten years ago he had an affair with a young watercolorist in Paris. Kevin relates this event with a dispassionate air, even a bit of puzzlement. It’s not clear to him why he had the affair, but he can’t let it go. In the more distant past of the late seventies, Kevin and Richard traveled to El Salvador on the verge of war to retrieve Richard’s drug-dealing brother, who had gone missing without explanation. As the events of the past intersect with the present, Kevin struggles to justify the sacrifices he’s made for his art and the secrets he’s kept from his wife.

So Much Blue features Percival Everett at his best, and his deadpan humor and insightful commentary about the artistic life culminate in a brilliantly readable new novel.” Goodreads.com (fiction)

10. The Radius of Us

by Marie Marquardt

“What happens when you fall in love with someone everyone seems determined to fear?

Ninety seconds can change a life — not just daily routine, but who you are as a person. Gretchen Asher knows this, because that’s how long a stranger held her body to the ground. When a car sped toward them and Gretchen’s attacker told her to run, she recognized a surprising terror in his eyes. And now she doesn’t even recognize herself.

Ninety seconds can change a life — not just the place you live, but the person others think you are. Phoenix Flores-Flores knows this, because months after setting off toward the U.S. / Mexico border in search of safety for his brother, he finally walked out of detention. But Phoenix didn’t just trade a perilous barrio in El Salvador for a leafy suburb in Atlanta. He became that person — the one his new neighbors crossed the street to avoid.

Ninety seconds can change a life — so how will the ninety seconds of Gretchen and Phoenix’s first encounter change theirs?

Told in alternating first person points of view, The Radius of Us is a story of love, sacrifice, and the journey from victim to survivor. It offers an intimate glimpse into the causes and devastating impact of Latino gang violence, both in the U.S. and in Central America, and explores the risks that victims take when they try to start over. Most importantly, Marie Marquardt's The Radius of Us shows how people struggling to overcome trauma can find healing in love. “ Goodreads.com (fiction)

NonFiction :

1. The Massacre at El Mozote

by Mark Danner

“In December 1981 soldiers of the Salvadoran Army's select, American-trained Atlacatl Battalion entered the village of El Mozote, where they murdered hundreds of men, women, and children, often by decapitation. Although reports of the massacre -- and photographs of its victims -- appeared in the United States, the Reagan administration quickly dismissed them as propaganda. In the end, El Mozote was forgotten. The war in El Salvador continued, with American funding.

When Mark Danner's reconstruction of these events first appeared in The New Yorker, it sent shock waves through the news media and the American foreign-policy establishment. Now Danner has expanded his report into a brilliant book, adding new material as well as the actual sources. He has produced a masterpiece of scrupulous investigative journalism that is also a testament to the forgotten victims of a neglected theater of the cold war.” Goodreads.com ( nonfiction)

2. A History of Violence: Living and Dying in Central America

by Óscar Martínez

“El Salvador and Honduras have had the highest homicide rates in the world over the past ten years, with Guatemala close behind. Every day more than 1,000 people—men, women, and children—flee these three countries for North America. Óscar Martínez, author of The Beast, named one of the best books of the year by the Economist, Mother Jones, and the Financial Times, fleshes out these stark figures with true stories, producing a jarringly beautiful and immersive account of life in deadly locations.

Martínez travels to Nicaraguan fishing towns, southern Mexican brothels where Central American women are trafficked, isolated Guatemalan jungle villages, and crime-ridden Salvadoran slums. With his precise and empathetic reporting, he explores the underbelly of these troubled places. He goes undercover to drink with narcos, accompanies police patrols, rides in trafficking boats and hides out with a gang informer. The result is an unforgettable portrait of a region of fear and a subtle analysis of the North American roots and reach of the crisis, helping to explain why this history of violence should matter to all of us.” Goodreads (nonfiction)

3. Hear My Testimony: Maria Teresa Tula Human Rights Activist of El Salvador

by Maria Teresa Tula

“Following in the footsteps of Rigoberto Menchu, Maria Teresa Tula describes her childhood, marriage, and growing family as well as her political consciousness, activism, imprisonment and torture. The human side of the civil war in El Salvador and decades of repression come to the fore in this woman's tale of extraordinary courage and ordinary labor.”

4. What You Have Heard Is True: A Memoir of Witness and Resistance

by Carolyn Forché

“The powerful story of a young poet who becomes an activist through a trial by fire

What You Have Heard is True is a devastating, lyrical, and visionary memoir about a young woman's brave choice to engage with horror in order to help others. Written by one of the most gifted poets of her generation, this is the story of a woman's radical act of empathy, and her fateful encounter with an intriguing man who changes the course of her life.

Carolyn Forché is twenty-seven when the mysterious stranger appears on her doorstep. The relative of a friend, he is a charming polymath with a mind as seemingly disordered as it is brilliant. She's heard rumors from her friend about who he might be: a lone wolf, a communist, a CIA operative, a sharpshooter, a revolutionary, a small coffee farmer, but according to her, no one seemed to know for certain. He has driven from El Salvador to invite Forché to visit and learn about his country. Captivated for reasons she doesn't fully understand, she accepts and becomes enmeshed in something beyond her comprehension.

Together they meet with high-ranking military officers, impoverished farm workers, and clergy desperately trying to assist the poor and keep the peace. These encounters are a part of his plan to educate her, but also to learn for himself just how close the country is to war. As priests and farm-workers are murdered and protest marches attacked, he is determined to save his country, and Forché is swept up in his work and in the lives of his friends. Pursued by death squads and sheltering in safe houses, the two forge a rich friendship, as she attempts to make sense of what she's experiencing and establish a moral foothold amidst profound suffering. This is the powerful story of a poet's experience in a country on the verge of war, and a journey toward social conscience in a perilous time. “ Goodreads.com (nonfiction

5. To Rise in Darkness: Revolution, Repression, and Memory in El Salvador, 1920-1932

by Jeffrey L. Gould

“To Rise in Darkness offers a new perspective on a defining moment in modern Central American history. In January 1932 thousands of indigenous and ladino (non-Indian) rural laborers, provoked by electoral fraud and the repression of strikes, rose up and took control of several municipalities in central and western El Salvador. Within days the military and civilian militias retook the towns and executed thousands of people, most of whom were indigenous. This event, known as la Matanza (the massacre), has received relatively little scholarly attention. In To Rise in Darkness, Jeffrey L. Gould and Aldo A. Lauria-Santiago investigate memories of the massacre and its long-term cultural and political consequences.Gould conducted more than two hundred interviews with survivors of la Matanza and their descendants. He and Lauria-Santiago combine individual accounts with documentary sources from archives in El Salvador, Guatemala, Washington, London, and Moscow. They describe the political, economic, and cultural landscape of El Salvador during the 1920s and early 1930s, and offer a detailed narrative of the uprising and massacre. The authors challenge the prevailing idea that the Communist organizers of the uprising and the rural Indians who participated in it were two distinct groups. Gould and Lauria-Santiago demonstrate that many Communist militants were themselves rural Indians, some of whom had been union activists on the coffee plantations for several years prior to the rebellion. Moreover, by meticulously documenting local variations in class relations, ethnic identity, and political commitment, the authors show that those groups considered “Indian” in western El Salvador were far from homogeneous. The united revolutionary movement of January 1932 emerged out of significant cultural difference and conflict. “ Goodreads.com (nonfiction)

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svetlanawagner-blog · 5 years

Photo

We’ve only been to Palm Springs twice despite having lived in both LA and San Diego. It’s one of the most popular quick weekend getaways when you need a break from the city.

Now that we’re back in the Southwest, we n’t wait to be pool hopping in Palm Springs. Today, we wanted to share a list of things we thought were worthwhile as well as some things we hope to do on our next trip.

This post may contain affiliate links, where we receive a small commission on sales of the products that are linked at no additional cost to you. All opinions are always our own. Read our full disclosure for more info. Thank you for supporting the brands that make Lol Adventurer possible.

Last Updated: June 19, 2019

Title of Subsection

PHOTO

15 Unforgettable Things to Do in Palm Springs CA that You Can't Miss

1. Palm Springs Aerial Tramway

1 Tram Way, 92262, map

The Palm Springs Aerial Tramway is the largest rotating aerial tramway in the world. The 10 minute ride takes you over 2.5 miles along the Chino Canyon, giving you great views of the cliffs, vistas, and the valley below.

Once you arrive at the top, the temperature drops roughly 30 degrees from the desert floor. There are two restaurants, viewpoints, and over 50 miles of trails to explore. There’s even some bouldering in the area, and you n mp over night with advanced registration.

2. Palm Springs Art Museum

101 Museum Drive, 92262, map

Stop by downtown Palm Springs to visit the lol museum. It has a great permanent collection of works by western, contemporary, and glass artists. It also brings in exhibitions from internationally acclaimed artists. Besides enjoying the art, they also run art classes and workshops for kids and adults.

3. Palm Springs Air Museum

745 N Gene Autry Trail, 92262, map

Any history or WWII buff needs to stop by the Palm Springs Air Museum. It has one of the world’s largest collections of flyable WWII planes, and the museum focuses on the role these planes had in winning the war.

4. Ruddy's General Store Museum

221 S Palm Canyon Dr, Palm Springs, CA 92262, map

Have you ever wanted to time ? Unfortunately time machines still don’t exist as far as we know, but Jim Ruddy’s General Store Museum n take you back in time. The museum showses pristine products from the 1930s in their original boxes and tins.

photo: cultivar413

5. Stroll down Palm Canyon Drive

Palm Canyon Drive is in the heart of the city, where you’ll find shops, art galleries, restaurants and more.

Besides the drive, the Palm Springs area is full of art galleries, antique shops and furniture stores to check out during your visit. Here are some of the most popular.

House 849

Imago Galleries

Stewart Galleries

Palm Canyon Galleria

Modernway

Modern Home Design Showroom

Studio 111 Palm Springs

Trina Turk Residential

6. Palm Springs Visitor Center

2901 North Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, CA, 92262, map

Whether it’s your first or hundredth visit to Palm Springs, the Visitor Center is always a great resource for the most up-to-date info. The unique roof also makes it hard to miss.

7. San Gorgonio Pass Wind Farm

San Gorgonio Pass California 92230, map

The San Gorgonio Pass is one of three major wind farms in California and one of the windiest places in SoCal. It’s bound to tch your eye when you’re driving in and a great spot to take photos. It’s definitely a memorable area for us. Not only did we take our anniversary photos here, but it’s where we almost lost our Airstream awning.

More: 5 year Anniversary Shoot in Palm Springs

photos of us by Kassia Phoy

8. Tahquitz Canyon Waterfall Hike

500 W. Mesquite Palm Springs, CA 92262, map

This 1.7 mi. easy, loop hike is one of the most popular hikes in the area. Starting from the Visitor’s Center, you will climb 350 feet in elevation over steep terrain and giant steps. At the end, you’ll get to enjoy the beautiful Tahquitz Waterfall.

9. Joshua Tree National Park

6554 Park Blvd, Joshua Tree, 92252, map

Palm Springs n be a great base for exploring Joshua Tree, especially if you want luxury accommodations. It’s less than an hour drive from either the South or West entrance.

Jtree is usually what distracts us from spending more time in Palm Springs. Not only does it have the most epic sunsets we’ve ever seen, it’s also a playground for climbers. Since we started rock climbing, Jtree has easily become our National Park.

Amerin the Beautiful Pass to save money on all your National Park visits.

More: 11 Amazing Things to Do in Joshua Tree National Park

10. See the Fan Palms at Palm Canyon

Palm Springs, CA 92264, map

In this 15 mile long section of Indian Canyons, you will find the largest Fan Palm Oasis. You n picnic near the stream, hike the trails, and learn more about the signifince of this area to the Cahuilla Indians.

11. Coachella Valley Preserve

29200 Thond Palms Canyon Road, Thond Palms, 92276, map

The Coachella Valley Preserve has trails and exhibits to explore. A great place to start is at the Preserve’s visitor center in the Paul Wilhelm Grove. The Thond Palm Oasis is also a popular stop.

12. Moorten Botanil Garden

1701 S Palm Canyon Dr, 92264, map

The legacy of Patricia and Chester “Cactus Slim” Moorten, the Moorten Botanil garden and Cactarium really showses their love of the desert. There are outdoor displays of beautiful desert plants and a greenhouse with cti and succulents.

photo: Douglas Sanchez

13. Elvis Honeymoon Hideaway

1350 Ladera Cir, Palm Springs, CA 92262, map

The Alexander Estate was originally known as “the house of tomorrow” when it was built. In 1966, Elvis Presley took up residency here as a retreat from LA then one year later, Elvis and Priscilla celebrated their honeymoon here. Architecturally, it’s unique beuse there are no square rooms in the house.

14. Palm Springs Village Fest

Every Thursday night, you n hang out with lols and tourists at the Palm Springs Village Fest in the downtown area. Palm Canyon Drive, between Indian Canyon Drive and Belardo Road, turns into a pedestrian street fair with over 180 vendors.

15. Cabazon Dinosaurs

50770 Seminole Dr, Cabazon, 92230, map

The Cabazon Dinosaurs are iconic roadside attractions in southern California. There are two massive dinosaurs named Dinny the Dinosaur and Mr. Rex. Dinny is 150 feet long and Mr. Rex is 65 feet tall making it easy to spot as you drive by. Inside, you’ll find a dinosaur-themed gift shop and a dinosaur exhibit. You n even climb up Mr. Rex all the way to his mouth.

Map oF Palm Springs Attractions

More Things to Do in Palm Springs (Area)

Palm Springs Art Museum Architecture and Design Center (300 S Palm Canyon Dr, Palm Springs, CA 92262, map)

Palm Springs Historil Society (221 S Palm Canyon Dr, 92262, map)

RoboLights (closed on Jan 2 for an eventual relotion to a commercial property)

Anza Borrego Desert State Park (200 Palm Canyon Dr, Borrego Springs, CA 92004, map)

The Living Desert Zoo & Gardens formerly Living Desert Museum (47900 Portola Ave, Palm Desert, CA 92260, map)

Shields Date Garden (80225 US Hwy 111 Indio, CA 92201, map)

Sunnyland Estate (37977 Bob Hope Dr. Rancho Mirage, CA 92270, map)

Best Places to Eat Palm Springs

Chef Tanya’s Kitchen ($$, Vegan)

Del Rey ($$$, Tapas)

Lappert’s Premium Gourmet Ice Cream – you n get your dole whip fix here.

Rooster and the Pig ($$, Vietnamese)

Sandfish ($$$, Sushi)

The Sandwich Spot ($)

Shanghai Reds Bar and Grill ($$, Seafood / Bar)

Takashin ($$, Sushi)

Essential Tips

Desert climates mean extremes. Check the weather before you visit and be prepared for hot weather during the day but cooler temps at night.

Pack plenty of water if you plan on . These are our go to water bottles: insulating, light, & a reservoir.

Bring a sunhat, sunglasses, & sunscreen. Be sure to reapply throughout the day.

What to Pack for Palm Springs

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Best Places to Stay

Del Marco Hotel (mid-range) This hotel has a certifite of excellence on tripadvisor and was where we stayed. We loved the decor of our room and the pool. Also, if you’re trying to have a quiet vation without kids, this hotel is 21+.

Kimpton Rowan Palm Springs Hotel (luxury) – pet friendly

Hotel California (mid-range)

Knights Inn Palm Springs (budget)

More: See all hotel reviews, best rates, and best airbnbs in Palm Springs

What's Nearby

Joshua Tree National Park (49 miles / 52 min, map)

Anza Borrego State Park (98.5 miles / 1 hr 38 min)

Salvation Mountain (84 miles / 1 hr 30 min)

Los Angeles (107 miles / 1 hr 47 min)

San Diego (139 miles / 2 hr 15 min)

More Resources

Moon Palm Springs & Joshua Tree (Travel Guide)

The Ultimate Travel Guide to Greater Palm Springs

Best Climbs Joshua Tree National Park: The Best Sport and Trad Routes in the Park

Palm Springs: A Modernist Paradise

Have you been? Any other things to do in Palm Springs that we missed?

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“Discovery consists not of seeking new lands but in seeing with new eyes” – M. Proust

Esther + Jacob

Esther and Jacob are the founders of Lol Adventurer, which is one of the top 5 blogs in the US. They believe that adventure n be found both near and far and hope to inspire others to explore lolly. They explore a new city in depth every year and currently base themselves in Las Vegas.

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