#edit: oh dude he's the embodiment of 'what do you want to be when you grow up? kind' sound

[ride-a-dromedary]

Halsin's biggest muscle is his heart, and that's the only thing that matters

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #Halsin #more gen stuff with halsin where he's literally just the sweetest of sweet hearts #like here - what's this - it's a baby bunny maybe hold it and you'll feel better #scratch just gravitating to him (which makes the orin thing even worse) #halsin being that endlessly kind of patient and sincere that is almost irritating #because you think it's fake but the worst part is it's just...not #so you can't ignore it or brush it off #i'm gonna make a gifset maybe because woo boy when he happy cried with oliver i was crying #i swear ill make something more than a text post someday #edit: oh dude he's the embodiment of 'what do you want to be when you grow up? kind' sound #i will also say i will never forgive larian for making intelligence his dump stat #he's not dumb he's literally just naive #and desperate and trusting and listens to his heart too much #he is emotionally driven not dumb

[jovenshires]

wait smosh taskmaster would be SUCH a massive slay wow. immediately my mind went to shayne as alex horne ! but greg i could see as diff options bc i don’t think any cast members embody that archetype personality wise as is but i could def see them put their own spins on em as a character if that makes sense ? would love to see what damien or chanse could come up with (bonus pts for being tall). but i also just realized arasha would be good too lmaoo. OH and that tommy as greg and spencer as alex would be SO good. and then for contestants would love to have angela, two that don’t end up in the above roles, keith, and than a rando crew member that we don’t see that often to shake it up - maybe vida bc they killed it in tntl and they do improv? wait also loved patrick making a reappearance so him as well. obvi would love to see most of the cast /crew participate as contestants if it’s like a recurring series ! ok clearly this show is perf for smosh considering i included a bajillion people in this ask pls kiana i’m begging 🙏 - spencersagnew

@spencersagnew YOU. YOU GET ME. i love your takes,,,, shayne as alex and arasha as greg specifically is everything to me. i'll put my cast out there but your takes are incredible and you've never been wrong.

tommy as the taskmaster. i think he just has that dry humor and can lean into the antagonistic nature really well while still being a fair judge and interacting well with the contestants. he's also just one of my favorite hosts of anything ever so ill let him do whatever he wants

garrett as the taskmaster's assistant. LISTEN. LISTEN. we need someone pathetic. someone who can be a punching bag. someone who's a little unhinged. someone who will get bullied by the cast and just take it, but also someone who has the Audacity. and That's Garrett. he fits the bill. i'll say honorable mention to shayne bc i think he would do this really well too but there's something about garrett that i think people would just take to using him as a puppet, a prop, whatever they needed for their tasks. and then get shit from him as soon as they're in the studio.

ian as contestant number one (The Grumpy Old Man). look, i have the taskmaster casting system boiled down to a science. i truly believe almost every cast can fit into these categories (almost! almost all!) and so i'm going by the same metric for smoshmaster. and we're starting off strong with the grumpy old man archetype. i think he'll be generally annoyed by everything. tommy, garrett, the other contestants, the tasks, whatever. he has a really dry sense of humor that'll balance everybody else out, and an above-it-all attitude that you can't help but respect. examples of this include julian clary, frankie boyle, and dara o briain.

angela as contestant number two (The World's Strangest Woman). every season needs one woman who just goes about the tasks in The Most Insane Way, and that's angela. point blank period. is she gonna win? probably not! but who knows! she's a wild card! she's the one who says her legs are basically just arms without fingers, you know. i think she'd just panic and do. whatever. no planning, go with her gut instinct. she'd also be super competitive and her reactions when she realized just how bad she fucked up.... incredible. examples include lucy beaumont, jenny eclair, and fern brady.

spencer as contestant number three (The Loveable Goofball). look. LOOK. you know him. you love him. he probably won't win. but god is it fun to watch. he's generally kind of pathetic, and while he fails miserably, you can't help but root for him, feel bad for him, and point and laugh at him all at once. he's going about the tasks either half-heartedly or putting his whole soul into it with absolutely no in-between. he might win an episode, but it's because the edit is throwing him a bone. spencer's really good at putting on that character of. miserable dude. the heel of it all. but also balancing that out with his quick wit and intelligence. he's perfect for this. some examples are susan wokoma, ivo graham, and john kearns

chanse as contestant number four (The Fan Favorite). he's hot. he's smart. he's funny. everybody likes him. he is the People's Champion. everyone wants him to win - even the taskmaster is a Little biased. he has electric chemistry with everyone, somehow, you can't really figure out how. he absolutely kills ALL the tasks but especially the prize tasks. i also think chanse would just have the funniest reactions to what everyone Else is doing. like i think he'd stand by what he did until the bitter end (even if he did something fucking insane) but everyone else he would relentlessly make fun of. god i want him on this show so bad. anyway, my examples for this are sam campbell, kiell smith-bynoe, and munya chawawa.

courtney as contestant number five (The Only Competent One on the Board). everyone else is fucking insane, but courtney is holding down the fort. she's always handling the tasks in a smart, efficient way that seems like the most logical way to go about it. they frequently outsmart the prompts and the competition. whether or not they win it all, they just seem like they deserve it most. her humor also brings a really nice balance of riding that line of silly goofy and smart and quick. i think courtney rounds out this cast really well (and is my personal pick to win <3). examples of this are sue perkins, mae martin, and sarah milican.

im flexible on the teams, although i think my personal pick is spencer / courtney / angela and ian / chanse bc. comedy to me. also i will say i think i could go on for like. at least two more seasons building different casts truly this is not the Only combo. anyway kiana call me i've got big plans

#long post #spencersagnew #can you tell ive thought about this. a Lot #ask #asks #anon #anonymous

[asset35-maya]

CALYPSO 🐚 ☕️

Part 1 & Part 2

Part 3/3:

Nines froze as the human’s body melded to his. Gavin kept his eyes shut and his lips moving. Then what he’d been bracing for finally came.

Pain.

Sweet glorious pain, blossoming everywhere Nines gripped his body. Gavin was sure that his lips would bruise under the pressure of the reciprocal kiss… that his rib cage would shatter if Nines held him any tighter… that his lungs would burst if they didn’t fill with air soon…

A wolf-whistle broke through the stunned silence in the yard.

Gavin pulled back, light-headed from the rush of oxygen and drain of adrenaline. He didn’t fall though. Didn’t even move an inch. Strong arms and a heated gaze kept him pinned.

//

\\

“Of all the things in the world… why coffee?”

“I could ask you the same.”

Gavin tucked his head into the crook of Nines’ neck, cuddling closer.

“Hmm… I think weird working hours made me actually need the caffeine… but the bean snobbery just came with the rest of my superiority complexes.”

Nines laughed. It was more of an exhale than an actual laugh, but Gavin was thankful for it nonetheless.

“And you?”

Nines kissed his forehead, prolonging his answer as much as he could before finally relenting with a sigh.

“The reason you’re asking… is because running a café is just about the last thing you’d expect an android like me to be doing. And… that’s your answer. That’s exactly why I wanted it.”

“To subvert expectations…?”

“To not be the terrible thing I was meant to be.”

Gavin’s breath hitched at the depth of emotion in Nines’ voice. He didn’t dare look up to meet his eye and settled for pressing his lips to the razor-sharp jawline.

“I dunno what kinda code runs through you, but believe me when I say you don’t have it in you to be… terrible.”

Nines scoffed at that.

“How can you say that after all the shit you’ve seen me do.”

“I can say that after all the shit I’ve seen others do. Fifteen years on the job, remember? I can vouch that righteous anger is one of the least terrible things out there.”

When Nines didn’t respond, Gavin decided to move the ship out of uncharted waters. He propped himself up on an elbow and ran a hand down the android’s smooth chest.

“In fact, I think it’s downright sexy.”

That did the trick. Nines pressed Gavin into the mattress with a low growl and rolled over him, clamping his mouth over his throat. Their hips aligned and the conversation ended.

//

\\

“Ralph tried hard but the machine is not working. Ralph is stuck.”

“Move. Let me see.”

Gavin took the filter holder and disconnected it from the espresso machine with a firm tug. He leapt away in shock as water came rushing out. That was absolutely not supposed to happen.

“Er… I’ll get a mechanic friend to take a look later. Why don’t you go check on inventory?”

Ralph shuffled away with a thoroughly sceptical look in his eye. Gavin sighed openly once the android was out of earshot.

The café was in shambles.

The vandals may have gotten as good as they gave… but they’d left their mark. Even with insurance, there was no way such a new establishment could financially recover from a setback like that.

Nines said nothing but seethed with his usual brand of silent, impotent rage.

Unable to bear the slammed car doors and dismissive grunts any longer, Gavin had taken a solo day off to come down to the Calypso and see what could be done.

Not much, without a boatload of money, it seemed.

He sat down with a sigh and Ralph brought over a cup of coffee. Black. A pour-over. He set a bowl of runny eggs and a small basket of bread down on the table too.

Gavin looked up in surprise. Ralph shrugged.

“Nines is telling Ralph that you left without breakfast. Ralph’s equipment is all broken so Ralph just made something simple.”

Touched beyond words, Gavin motioned for Ralph to sit down with him instead of scurrying off into the shadows as per his usual habit.

He took a sip of the hand-poured drip coffee and broke a piece of the bread, dragging it through the eggs, European style. It was utterly homely and reminded of him of some bygone era that he’d needlessly bypassed. He looked up and met Ralph’s mildly unsettling stare.

“So… why the name Calypso? There’s nothing beach-themed or Caribbean about the place.”

“Nines chose it. After the Greek goddess.”

“Huh. And she was the goddess of coffee? Did they even have coffee back in those Hercules Orgy Olympics days?”

“She is a sea nymph. She detained the mythic hero Odysseus on her island for seven years.”

Gavin’s brows furrowed as he swallowed a mouthful of fresh bread.

“Did you bake this?”

“Yes. Ralph is baking daily. Ralph does it first thing in the morning at five. It is very calming to knead the dough and hear the birdsong.”

“It’s phcking delicious. Leavened perfectly. Now back to the name. This goddess nymph creature. She doesn’t sound very nice. She trapped this hero dude, right? Reminds me of my ex. Why name this pretty café after her?”

“Ralph can only imagine that Nines’ fascination with Calypso is the ambiguity of her nature. She can seduce and manipulate, but she can also heal. She is neither good nor evil.”

Gavin drained his coffee and sank back in his chair contemplatively.

“What do you think she is, Ralph?”

Ralph’s LED flickered and his eyes dipped to the table. He knew what Gavin was asking.

“Calypso is immortal. Calypso cannot help but fall in love with every sailor who lands on her shores. Calypso dreams of an eternal husband but lets Odysseus go when it’s clear he wishes to return to his wife. Well, maybe only when the Gods commands her to… but she releases him without harm!”

Gavin waited. Ralph’s head snapped up and he spoke in a short burst.

“Calypso is mythical. It does not matter what she is. Nines is real. Nines is good. Very good. Honest and honourable! Ralph will do anything for Nines!”

Gavin leaned back in his chair with the satisfied smile of an experienced police negotiator who’d gotten exactly where he wanted to.

//

\\

“What the hell is this? Where did you get so much money from?”

Nines’ amber LED cycled furiously as he took in the sight of the restored café. Ralph was humming to himself as he proudly polished the knobs of their repaired espresso machine.

Gavin led Nines by the hand to look at the repainted walls… the new furniture… the new crockery replacing what had been smashed…

“How…?”

“Oh I just embodied my inner Gen Z and tapped into the power of social justice.”

Nines looked thoroughly nonplussed.

“Crowdfunding, baby. I set up a link and Ralph told everyone on Twitter what happened to him and the café. Well, showed them, more like.”

Nines looked up at the ceiling and his LED slowly returned to a calm blue as he understood… but when he looked back down, his expression wasn’t any less troubled.

“Okay I just saw it. Edited footage from his optical units and a tearful testimonial. Ethically questionable, but clever.”

“Super effective. We overshot our target by a couple hundred bucks.”

“Hmm. People are kind.”

“Yes. They’ve actually done more for you. Look. Connor gave me this earlier today.”

Gavin reached into his jacket and produced an envelope. Nines’ eyes widened as he spotted the official seals of the Mayor’s office, the Manfred Estate and New Jericho.

“Someone started a petition… to let you back behind the helm of the Calypso. It really took off. I don’t know how you didn’t hear-”

“I muted any mentions of myself and the other RKs from showing up in my newsfeed.”

“Then this makes for a good surprise.”

Gavin gently pushed the envelope into the android’s hands and watched him open it with a precise fingernail flicked under the wax. He scanned the contents of the letter in a split second and let it fall through his fingers.

Without warning, he scooped Gavin up and set him down on a polished table for a deep kiss of even deeper gratitude. Ralph turned his back on them with a bashful giggle.

//

\\

“Baby.”

Nines didn’t respond.

“Hey baby?”

“Hmm...”

There was an intensity to the grumble that had Gavin second-guessing whether to persist. Being Nines’ lover didn’t exempt him from the consequences of asking stupid questions.

“Your thoughts are fucking loud. Just say whatever you want to.”

“Oh. Um… I was actually wondering… I mean, you don’t have to tell me… but like why… um…”

“Why haven’t I turned my badge in yet?”

“Yeah…”

Nines turned on his side and brushed the back of his hand over Gavin’s cheek. The intimate gesture sent a thrill through the human despite how much more intimate they’d just been in the recent past.

“Because I haven’t decided what to do next.”

Gavin’s brows knitted together.

“What do you mean? Aren’t you going to take back your business?”

Nines’ wan smile told him all he needed to know.

“Why?”

“It’s doing really well in Ralph’s hands. He’s capable. He’s creative. And I don’t think it’s fair for me to go back and get in his way all of a sudden.”

“He needs you.”

“He absolutely doesn’t. It’s his café. You helped him get back on his feet and he’s going to be fiiiiine without me.”

“Is it because you don’t wanna be her anymore?”

Nines scrunched his nose up in confusion.

“Who?”

“Calypso. The siren who trapped the Oddball.”

That earned Gavin a heartfelt laugh.

“Odysseus, Gavin.”

“Yeah. You were like Calypso and now you’re letting go of the coffeeshop because you figured it wasn’t meant to be!”

Nines frowned and pretended to check the human for a temperature. Gavin swatted his hands away with mock petulance.

“Fine, I’m probably way off the mark. You tell me what the deal is then!”

Arms snaked around his waist and pulled him flush against the android’s defined chest. Lips brushed the shell of his ear and when Nines spoke next, it was in the huskiest of undertones.

“I’m Odysseus. Not Calypso.”

The realisation was painfully obvious in hindsight.

“I’m the one who’s stuck on an endless journey home. I’ve faced a hundred artificial trials and tribulations. I’ve been a puppet at the hands of false gods. I answer existential questions to prove my self-worth every single day.”

Nines paused to gauge Gavin’s reaction. When he received none, he pressed a brief kiss to the human’s bare shoulder before continuing.

“It’s been a long journey. But not a pointless one. Every metaphorical island I’ve visited has granted me something. From literally running into Ralph in an old building… to defending our turf from other stray androids… getting ourselves off the street… setting up a café from scratch… being arrested on opening day… ending up on the police force with you…”

Gavin recognised that as his cue to squirm around in Nines’ arms and peck him on the lips.

“So who’s Cyclops?”

“What?”

“The story’s starting to come back to me now. Your boy Oddy fought a one-eyed monster on one of the islands he went to. Who’s the Cyclops in your story?”

Nines huffed another breathy laugh.

“Markus, probably. Connor is definitely Helios.”

“Who’s your wife?”

“Definitely not you.”

Gavin elbowed him in the ribs. An action that had more repercussions on him than Nines.

“So which island are you off to next?”

“I have no idea. But it doesn’t matter. I might already be home.”

#reed900 #rk900 #gavin reed #dbh nines #dbh rk900 #gavin900 #gavin x nines #gavin x rk900 #dbh gavin #dbh ralph #dbh markus #dbh connor #dbh #dbh fanfic #dbh writing #my writing

[jiminiediminie]

A not-at-all brief commentary on BE-hind story interview.

We really got over an hour of BTS just talking about their music. They really told the media yall don’t ask the right questions so let me do it for you. Love that for them. 

But honestly I am so happy that they decided to do this. Because most of the time interviewers don’t ask the right questions or it is in a situation where they have time constraints. Or the interviewer never even listened to the album in the first place (think james corden saying his favorite track on be is dynamite probs because it seemed like that was the only one he knew).

I appreciate as well that it is the members interviewing each other. They could have just as easily sat each member in a room and asked them the questions off screen. But they didn't. I think that adds such a personal element to the interview. Bts members likely know about each other’s music (even solo music) better than anyone else. So who better to talk with the members about their music than each other? 

Running commentary of each interview below the cut. 

JK interviews Jin

Blonde jk for the win

I lost count of how many times they shook hands please they are so annoying 

Jin please don’t downplay your talents. That hurt my heart. If I could describe his voice in one word it would have been powerful. I hope that jin got to see all the praise after the fix you cover. Because he killed it in that. 

I loved getting to hear the behind the scene of jin’s role in stay; I didn’t know his role in it before he talked about it.

I’m glad jin got to release abyss and put so much of his own work into it. It is also so amazing to hear how much help joon is to all of the members when it comes to lyrics and music. A talented king. 

Slightly surprised there wasn't more clowning around in their interview since these two are usually so chaotic together. I thought jk would clown jin when they started talking about jin being older but he didn't. Growth. 

Hobi interviews JK

Hobi looks so soft in that cardigan 

Hobi right off the bat asking about the mixtape. He knows what we want. 

Jk talking about how he wants to try writing songs not just about his own experiences was so interesting to hear; can’t wait to see what he comes up with in the future. 

Him talking about all the different things he wants to try but it’s almost too many was very relatable. That feeling of having so many choices you don't know where to start. But that does mean that when we do get a mixtape from him it will be from varying styles of music and i am all here for that. Personally holding out for rocker jk or acoustic jk. 

His favorite song to sing is euphoria; that’s so sweet it is such a gem of a song. I think I would have chosen still with you since it’s pretty different than a lot of the other songs he sings.

Hobi saying “you’re all grown up” to jk and jk saying “i'm not the old me” really hit me in the feels. Hobi and bts really did watch jk grow from a slightly awkward pre-teen to the confident man he is today. They must feel so proud of him. 23 yo jk is not a baby of bts anymore. He does what he wants. He wears what wants. He has long hair and dyes it blonde then blue just because he can. He even talked about how his voice has matured. Im glad that the members see that too and seem to be proud of the person he has became. 

3 main tracks. 3 mv. 3 choreos of different styles. Yes do it jk please im begging. After seeing him dance in black swan at mma i want to see more contemporary dancing from him. And i feel like after getting still with you and stay he can write songs that would fit that vibe. I just want to see jk’s dance talent showcased more. 

I don’t know if the fans could survive 3 separate jk mv. We barely survived a live performance of my time. 

Tae interviews Hobi

Tae in that emerald green sweater. He looks so good. He should wear that color more

I love how serious tae is about playing the interviewer. The actor in him never sleeps. 

Hobi talking about the dual meanings behind the title of Dis-ease was so cool. Fans obviously caught that it could mean multiple things. But as far as i know that was never confirmed. Now that it is I am once again impressed with the thought they put behind everything they do. 

A psychological occupational disease. Your mind hobi 

I think it’s so cool that hobi recorded it by himself and how he said that doing it like that allows him to grow as a producer since he has to listen and edit himself. They really just always continue to grow in their roles in music don’t they? 

Hobi talking about how he would love to solve his own problems but then remembering that he is part of a team really shows how much they trust and rely on each other. So he and jimin worked on the melody of the bridge together and then joon wrote the lyrics. And now we have the most iconic bridge of all time. Still holding out for a dis-ease live performance or music video (I’m a clown I know). 

And lol at tae being like call me next time dude 

“I would like to share my music with everyone” -- please do

Please tae is so sweet and attentive!? “When you talked about music i noticed you had a smile on your face and i thought ‘he really loves music’”. “But personally if i had your skills I’d be showing off and be proud of myself”. Kim taehyung is the embodiment of a teddy bear 

And closing it with actor tae again -- “can i get your autograph” 

Jin interviews Jimin

Two seconds into the interview they are clowning each other with jin saying to talk informally. Yet as soon as jm did (and that slight smile when he did), jin is like I was talking to myself. Chaotic as expected of these two. 

Jm talking about his process for music being “just go as i feel” makes so much sense for him. He is an easy going person and it makes sense that it reflects in his work style. 

It’s so cool that him coming up with the melody of the dis-ease bridge was just because he was humming to himself and the producer liked it -- almost serendipitous if you will  

I love when people praise jimin for his vocals. So hearing him talk about how they used his vocal in place of a female for lgo’s chorus stroked my jm bias ego

Joon is seriously the best human ever. Jimin didn’t want to bother the other members to help with christmas love but joon contacted him and helped with the lyrics anyway. Bts seriously has the most amazing leader. 

“I’d like to try making an acoustic style song”. Please do it jimin. Acoustic bts is my weakness but especially acoustic jimin. Songs like promise sound so good with his singing style.

Jin shaking jimin’s pinky 😂

“I’m a little disappointed in the MC” “but you know if you looked around there is no MC like me” -- jinmin’s relationship everybody 

Jimin interviews Joon

Minimoni look so cozy in their sweatshirts sitting on a plush rug. 

“You know we have this youngest member”. “Oh jungkook?” “No the real youngest” “Oh seokjin. That’s a shame” -- please minimoni are so funny and joon knew immediately who jm was talking about when he said the real youngest. 

“It felt like I was doing the only thing i could do” . Please let me give you a hug joon

Joon’s mind continues to amaze me. How he talked about needing the concept or key word to give “flesh” to the song was such a good way to explain how he approaches music. 

“What do you mean little? You play a very big role” -- lol jimin speaking facts. I already mentioned how amazing it is that he helped jimin and jin with their individual songs. The fact that members who want help with their own music always seem to go to joon really tells you how much of an amazing and talented human being kim namjoon is. I can’t remember the context, but there was this moment that jimin (or was it hobi?) said something like “what would we do if we didn't have rm”. They are truly lucky to have him. 

Release that minimoni subunit now please and thank you 

Tell us what you’re working on joon don't be shy. Joon mentioned that his music is like a diary. I would love to know his thoughts expressed in music now. 2018 joon who made mono and 2021 joon are two very different people. Bts has grown so much since then. 

Joon interviews Yoongi

The work colleagues! Did you know they have worked together for 10 years? 

Yoongi’s fuzzy sweater. So soft

Yoongi saying he writes songs when he is bored. Lol i love him so much

It’s really interesting to hear them talk about their lyrics getting rejected. I guess we don’t hear much about that part. And lol at joon just laughing and saying he guesses he didn’t grasp tae’s intentions for b&g. 

I like that this was more of a conversation than an interview. I love it when these two just sit together and talk about technical stuff that i don’t understand (like the festa interview)

Yoongi is such a good person to make music with. JK wanted to add humming to telepathy? They added humming to telepathy. I had wondered the reason why there are two different versions of the song. I prefer the longer one tbh

Yoongi wants to make an acoustic song? Hell yeah. Jimin does too. So yoongi x jimin subunit acoustic song with yoongi playing the guitar (please). Also a folk song?? Yoongi your taste i like it

I can’t wait to hear yoongi sing im so excited for him

Yoongi talking about how they made this album with no pressure and got to just do what they wanted and that it was received so well. How he wants to keep making music like that. That makes me happy. I want them to continue to get to do that. I love the big productions and concepts of their albums. But if they are happier making albums like be that do not have that then that is what i want them to do. 

“Please listen to telepathy a lot” -- what yoongi wants yoongi gets. Go stream telepathy 

Yoongi interviews Tae

The title of blue and grey is because tae wants to overcome that feeling. My heart. 

He looked so shy talking blue and grey. I am so excited to see him get to talk about kth1 when it comes out. I could listen to him for hours. 

English guide track? Release it tae

“I felt kind of proud of myself” -- you should tae 

Yoongi straight up asking tae why he didn't include joon’s lyrics was interesting. It’s cool to know that tae had the kind of power to choose what he felt would fit the emotion of the song.

It doesn’t surprise me that tae feels so much pressure to make sure the tape is good before it is released. It seems like when it comes to solo work the members really do feel more pressure since they aren't sharing the burden with the others. 

“Please look forward to it” -- don’t worry tae everyone is

We know from the preview that there are 13 songs potentially on the mixtape. That would be so amazing if he released it with so many songs. Tae’s voice sounds so good in so many different styles so i know that it would be so varied.

Final thoughts -- I love that they got to do this. I hope going forward they do this more for their albums. And from what the members said they enjoyed getting to be so involved in the process of making the album. It would be amazing if that continued. While a lot of their hit songs are not made fully by the members, those songs that are often have more meaning to the fans. b&g, stay, telepathy. These were songs from the members. We got to hear their actual thoughts put into these songs. I hope that bh sees how well this album did and lets that continue.

Congrats if you made it to the end! 

#my thoughts #bts #ot7 #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #jinkook #hopekook #vhope #jinmin #minimoni #namgi #taegi #jikook #naabc

[s1utspeare]

Plz do Midsummer next, I want to know who are all the fairies and and WHO IS TOM SNOUT THE WALL?????

🙏🙏🙏

Thank you i love you I’m so excited for the Shakespeare discourse. 16 yo Shakespeare-in-the-Park me is LIVING

EDIT: WAIT SHIT I JUST REALIZED YOU NEVER SPECIFIED IF YOU WANTED THE DMUTUALBJs OR THE ACTUAL DMBJ CHARACTERS. OH MY GOSH. I’M SCREAMING. THIS HAS BEEN POSTED FOR TWO MINUTES AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF IT’S WHAT YOU WANTED. OH FUCK. OH FUCK. UHHHHHHH. UM. WOW. OKAY. I’M SO FUCKING SORRY FOR THIS. 

OH???? YOU WANT MIDSUMMER????? YOU WANT FUCKING MIDSUMMER???? excellent

Okay, so first off, my ideal Midsummer would be gay (obviously) and involve a lot of playing with space and audience and stuff. Like, I would want it to be in the square and have all the seats on the same level/have the audience actually on the stage, so that when the Lovers are running around in the woods, and the fairies and Puck are doing their thing, they’re literally intermingling with the audience. Athens would be in a separate playing space, for both the beginning and the end, and the Players (with the exception of Bottom) would never get to mingle in the audience, because they are so fully enshrouded in their own acting and the world of the play that they are blind to the fact that they’re simultaneously playing and being played. At the end of the play, Puck would step up into that separate playing space to indicate physically that the play is done, they are no longer intermingling with us, and we are now separated from this reality that they have created over the course of the play (this has nothing to do with y’all, I’m just using this opportunity to nerd out about my ideal production specs lmao) and thereby physically releasing us from that space. 

BUT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT. NOW. I’M SHIFTING INTO DIRECTING MODE AND CASTING THIS SHOW USING THE DMUTUALBJs, THE TAG OF WHICH I’M STEALING FROM SIERRA (also sorry i do not have the skills nor the patience to edit y’all’s icons on characters like they did I am not that good @jockvillagersonly i would die for u). 

HERE WE GO:

First up: the Lovers

Hermia: “though she be but little, she is fierce!” lmao I’m sorry @cross-d-a that’s gotta be you. I love Hermia bc she’s very sweet most of the time, except when she’s been wronged, and then YOU BETTER WATCH OUT CAUSE SHE’S GOING OFF, and I feel like Cross imbues that energy very well. She’ll cut a bitch for her friends, but is also the loveliest person you’ve ever met. 

Helena: Helena’s got to be @humanlighthouse. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. Not only do I want her to step on me, I also think that she’d be willing to throw down in a forest. Plus, she and Cross would have very good stage energy, I think. 

Demetrius: ok here’s where things get interesting, cause you remember when I said I wanted this to be gay right? SO that means we’re playing this with underlying currents of *internalized homophobiaaaa* which means that Demetrius is actually going after Lysander instead of Hermia; or so she thinks. She’s chasing after the closest male-identifying person in the group, but REALLY wants Hermia, and under THAT ends up wanting Helena, who she’s really intimidated by actually, which is why she’s so rude to her in the first parts of the play. And who will play this wonderfully complex Demetria? None other than @vishcount. Again, the STAGE CHEMISTRY BABES. also I think vish would bring a very lovely complexity to this role. 

Lysander: Lysander is actually like my favorite character in this play??? I have no idea why, but I really love him. He’s very endearing and sweet, and just wants to make his girlfriend happy. So for this role I’m casting @psychic-waffles, who I feel would embody this character very well bc I love Jack. 

Alright NEXT: the Players

Peter Quince: they’re the only writer in this thing, so I feel like this HAS to be @merinnan. Also, Meri-jie tries to wrangle crowds of dumbasses everyday in the Discord server and does an INCREDIBLE job, so I feel like Head Writer/Head Bitch works very well here. 

Nick Bottom: who ELSE would I cast except for @jockvillagersonly. Not only are they funny enough to portray this absolute COMEDY role, I feel like they would really ham it up onstage, which is what Nick Bottom needs. Also I would like to lovingly force them into getting more sleep, so if rehearsals for the scenes where Bottom is Passed The Fuck Out go a little long, who’s gonna know??? 

Francis Flute: Francis Flute holds a special place in my heart bc in my university’s production of Midsummer, one of my friends played him, and he was funny as fuck, so for this role I’m going with @bookjoyworm. I think Joy absolutely would be fantastic as Thisbe, and have a very dramatic and tragic death scene (which, coincidentally, is often the only part of the Play Within A Play that’s actually acted well, and I think that Joy could pull off that bait-and-switch). 

Tom Snout: YOU KNOW WHAT NOPEY, IT’S FUCKING YOU. YOU ARE THE WALL. LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE DAMN LIFE. I LOVE TOM SNOUT AND I LOVE YOU. 

Snug the Joiner: Snug the Joiner is literally just a cutie patootie trying their best. I love them, and I also love @pissmeoffanddie, so that’s who we’re going with on this one. They would be a very fierce lion, I just know it (but not too fierce, so as not to frighten the ladies!!!!)

 Robin Starveling: Moonshine! This so obviously has to be @undyingsunshine; it’s literally in the name!! They both fucking shine! I’m! Also I genuinely love Robin Starveling a lot too lasighaldkfjaldf. 

The Athenians: 

Theseus: all hail the kiiinnnngggggg. Obviously this is @xcziel. I would perform a thousand plays for @xcziel. A million. A thousand million. Mwah. My liege. 

Hippolyta: BOSS-ASS BITCH. BITCH. BITCH. BITCH. none other than @foxofninetales could POSSIBLY be this Amazonian queen. Once again: step on me mom. 

Egeus: Okay like. Okay don’t come for me I’m sorry I have to cast Egeus, but I think that deep down he wants what’s best for his daughter! And I feel like that has very @kholran energy. Idk they came up with the ShanSang pool noodle and that radiates very safe energy for me. So sorry @kholran ur my dad now. 

The Philostrate: they’re literally just trying to get things organized and let everyone have a good time at the wedding! It’s a hard job!! Don’t make it harder for them!!!! I feel like the only one who could do this would be @mejomonster. Just trying to deal with all these idiots. RIP. 

And Finally: the Fairies

Oberon: ok Oberon’s a himbo but in the best way. He’s just hanging out with his best friend Puck and trying to get his wife to pay attention to him again after she gets a baby. like I get it, dude. Me too. I feel like @elletromil has the most Oberon energy, partially bc I’m in awe of them, partially bc they feel like an old married couple along with: 

Titania: @gaiahenshin. You two would be SO PERFECT together as Titania and Oberon. I’m also of the firm opinion that the Love Juice doesn’t actually work on Titania and she’s just acting for Oberon, and I feel like that’s something @gaiahenshin could get behind. ONCE AGAIN. STEP ON ME. THIS IS NOT A SUGGESTION. 

Puck: ok I feel like the obvious one is the person who’s been doing ALL the magic in the fandom for us lately, which would be @xia-xueyi. Not only a Puck-level mastery of words, but also just blessing us with the energy and love and encouragement. She also feels very bouncy and joyful to me, and I would love to see her get to fly around the stage and do some fun magic stuff. 

Cobweb, Mustardseed, Peaseblossom, and Moth: the fairies! THE FAIRIES!!! the literal BACKBONES of the play. Obviously this would be @thewindsofsong, @idlebeks, @staidwaters, and @i-sudoku. I know in my heart that they are all ethereal beings and that nothing would be the same without them. Also they deserve to get to fly around in some stage rigging. They DESERVE IT. 

The Changeling Child: the only one who is not a mutual. This is the stupid baby dummy from the Moonfall Echo behind-the-scenes cause I think it’s hilarious. 

AH!!!! ANYWAY!!!! THERE’S MY MIDSUMMER CASTING!!! I LOVE YOU ALL I CAN’T WAIT TO SPEND HELL WEEK WITH YOU!!!!!! >:)

#thank u nopey i love u #also listened to Jopping by SuperM the entire time I was doing this so #that's the energy u should attribute to this post lmao #brigid casts dmutualsbj #:/ damn i wanna direct shakespeare again this has got me SO HYPED #billy shakes #im going to be so fucking embarrassed if u were actually asking for the DMBJ characters #like no one fucking look at me #I'm literally crying in my house

[fandomsilhouette]

they’ve got a bad reputation (they’ll get a standing ovation)

The spotlight clicks on, floods the stage until the shadows are sent scampering away, every flaw and every fear in sharp contrast for the audience to feast upon; but what horrors lurk where the darkness prowls, trapped at the edges of the script like handcuffs around the actor? May life mirror art at the best of times, the worst of times. 

Happy @felinettenovember, y’all! We’re back to terrible o’clock writing times with @musicfren, who is collaborating with me on this fic-turned-mechanism-through-which-to-preach-on-the-spot-Hamlet-analysis. He’ll be posting the second part on his account tomorrow, during which the bulk of my meta nonsense is going to come through. Are you following him yet? @emzurl spoiled this whole story with their art and @dumpsdoods simply spoils me with theirs. 

Part 1 below. Part 2 upcoming.

“Alright, take ten, my dudes! We’ll go from Act III, Scene 1 after you get some snacks and chill.” 

Marinette lets out an amused laugh as she thumbs through her copy of the script, ignoring the throng of hungry students pushing past her, desperate for this grueling 5 hour rehearsal to end. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but certainly not of this play. Nino makes a good director, she thinkst: loud, relentlessly positive, able to carry the sagging energy of an entire unwilling highschool production on his shoulders.

But alas, poor Nino is fighting a losing battle. Everyone knows that the point of this play is the obligatory report they will all have to write for their literature class at the end of the week. Almost no one here can act, and Marinette’s arms are beginning to grow tired from carrying up the entire play. With scarcely a week left it looks like most people are planning to coast the rest of the way to a clean C+. The part of Hamlet still has not been cast.

Akuma attacks have pushed back the discussions they were meant to have on the play, and Bustier couldn’t cancel the major assignment for the unit; instead, she had told them to analyze the play through the role of their choice after embodying it for the few weeks it took to rehearse and perform the production. Their in-class discussions have been condensed into a take-home paper on top of the already obligatory theatre performance and pretty much everyone knows that Bustier would be lenient on them just for that. And Nino knows they know, and Marinette is starting to suspect that he is itching to “chill” like he keeps telling them to. 

Marinette chews on the corner of her pencil, running a finger over the veritable bloodbath of neat pink notes she’s crammed into the margins of every page. She’s on in the next scene, and she wants to make sure she’s got all the nuances of the character, her character, exactly as she plans to bring her to life. Looking over the script, Marinette starts to regret not typing the notes to begin with: her entire essay is definitely already fully composed. Maybe Max will consider building her an application that can scan the document and transpose it to a word processor as editable text… 

“Give me your hand, if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends.” 

Marinette looks up to see Felix quoting Shakespeare, trying very hard to look inconspicuous in his black stage-hand clothes, wheeling a stand of fake swords almost as tall as he was. She watches with some amusement as he struggles to set it upright, and makes absolutely no move to help him. 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you on stage any time this week,” she says, sticking her tongue out and being far cuter than it had any right to be. Felix, sweating, scrambles for a riposte. 

“I hadn’t expected you out of the home ec room at all. Shouldn’t you be half-drowned in fabric or something?” 

She sends him a quizzical look. He wonders if the akuma attacks have scrambled her memory. “Because...you’ve got costumes to work on? As the play’s costume designer?” 

“Oh, I’m not doing costumes this year, actually.” Marinette laughs awkwardly. “I’m not even sure what I would write about if I were.” 

Felix stares at her. The sword he was carrying slid out of his grasp with a dull clang.

“...what are you writing about as a stagehand?” 

Felix decides to pretend the last few moments were a fever dream and focus on answering this one very reasonable question. “I’m looking at the blocking and the prop placement and the lighting and how it impacts the effect of the character portrayal on the audience and what information manages to get conveyed to the audience.” 

Marinette offers a suitably impressed ooh at this. “How far have you gotten with it?” 

“Darling, we don’t even have a Hamlet. The titular character. I’ve done nothing.” Felix offers the most deadpan look he can muster and startles at her giggle. “What, how far have you gotten?!”

Marinette flashes her script at him, more notes than dialogue at this point. 

“You are possibly the only person in the class thinking anything even remotely deep about this play. What is all that for?!” 

“Hopefully for a handwritten notes to editable text conversion app.” 

Felix only narrowly avoids gaping. What?! “...is that what’s scrawled on every corner of that script you’re clutching?” He grins crookedly at her, and her traitorous heart skips a beat. 

“...oh! no, um, those are my notes. For… my essay? I’ve written out the character analyses into where the text supports my arguments and… um… yeah.” She flushes with the realization that 1) that was completely out of context for him because 2) he cannot, in fact, read her mind. 

“...Marinette, for what do you possibly need notes?” 

“...to play my character?” 

“Oh, wow, are you playing a guy? Impressive, tiny girl.” He rakes his gaze down her body and Marinette is flushed for a whole new reason now. She pushes to her feet and doesn’t bother to care about the swords she knocks over. 

“I’m not, actually.” 

“Why?! Who is there to play among the female characters? Marinette, I took you as someone who plays characters of worth.”

She looks up at him, eyes wide with dangerous innocence “Are female characters not valuable?” 

“I-- no, that’s not what I meant and you know it! Shakespeare is historical, and male-centric, and writes women who do little more than parrot the views of the men around them if they get any dialogue at all. There’s no substance there! Who are you possibly going to play, Gertrude? Ophelia?!?” Felix’s tone makes it very clear what he thinks of the only two options she has available to her. 

Marinette sweeps past him coolly, her hair whipping against his cheek. “I am playing Ophelia, actually.”

Stumbling, Felix turns and gives her a wry grin. “Oh darn, I’m sorry for your loss.” He makes a valiant effort at replicating her stuck out tongue, not that Marinette is looking. It’s for the best: it’s not nearly as cute on him. 

“Excuse you?” Marinette halts in her tracks, shadowed amongst the heavy curtains of stageside. Her voice echoes hauntingly around the empty theatre. 

“...c’mon. Ophelia does less than Gertrude. She even has fewer lines!”

With great restraint, Marinette manages to do nothing more than turn to face Felix, trembling with repressed rage. “Does less? Ophelia is the only person in this play who does anything at all that isn’t driven by a madman’s plot! Ophelia is the only person in this play who can pull Hamlet out of insanity, even if for little more than a moment.” 

Frustrated, Felix tosses the nearest item at her and growls when she catches it neatly. It’s a victory when she stalks off across the stage to the opposite wing, gathering her notes and settling herself neatly in a prim fury. She’s wrong, she’s wrong, she’s wrong. He whirls around and starts rearranging everything she knocked over, grumbling under his breath. 

“Ophelia is the only character in that play who makes zero choices of her own. Even her death was a result of her tripping into a lake.”

There’s a crashing sound, and Felix spins back around to see Marinette bolt upright, tempestuous in her temper. Felix may have gotten a bit too loud with that last statement.

“How can you say that? That’s the most significant choice she makes in the whole play!”

Felix can feel the irritation rising, hot and ugly in his chest. Why is she being so stubborn? Marinette makes a gesture at him, quick and angry from the other side of the room. Felix squints and tilts his head, struggling to what she was doing from across the stage. Then all at once it hits him.

“Do… do you bite your thumb at me?!” He splutters in indignant incoherency, his grip tightening on whatever he’s holding until the plastic grooves bite into his skin. 

“I do bite my thumb at thee, sir.” 

Felix steps onto stage, glaring. Marinette matches him step for step, glare for angry glare. Nino gasps, cowers, and then grabs his camera.

The class, milling around aimlessly as their ten minutes ticked to an end, comes to a collective halt. Nino sheppards them out of the way of the camera’s shot. They flock without protest to the edges of the theatre, terrified to watch this trainwreck unfold, terrified they’ll miss even a second of it. The die has been cast. Who now the price of his dear blood doth owe?

Nino can only hope that the set backgrounds manage to come out of this intact.

#Notte Writes #Notte Collabs #Fanfiction #Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction #ML #Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous: Adventures Of Ladybug And Chat Noir #Felix #PV Felix #Felix Agreste #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Felix/Marinette #Felinette #Theatre Consistent Dramatics #Grievous Insults (To A Nerd) #Meta Parallels To Hamlet #Fluff #Felinette Month 2020 Day 14 #Felinette Month 2020

[im-a-space-gay]

Dude, We're Getting The Band FamILY Back Together!

(I have been awake for 15 hours. I've been working on this since 6 P.M.. It is 5 A.M.. I am developing a migraine. I do not regret it. If there's any mistakes, let me know, and I'll look over it and edit. Also, if somebody could tell me how to do the cut-drop-thingy that writers on Tumblr use, that would make my life a whole heck of a lot easier. Oh look, the Sun's rising. Also, debating whether or not if I should make this into an au or keep it as a oneshot, so some feedback on that would be nice. But for now? I'm gonna eat, hydrate, and sleep, because god knows I don't do any of that stuff enough. Good day)

(Inspired by Dude, We're Getting The Band Back Together from Phineas and Ferb)

(If something like this has been done before, I'm so so so sorry)

Thomas was brainstorming with Joan in his backyard about what to do today when they decided to take the discussion into the kitchen where it was cooler.

When they entered, they saw Thomas's dad sitting at the table, looking down at a slip of paper with tears in his eyes.

"Dad?" Thomas asked, moving closer to the man at the table. Joan stayed where they were because, even though they were close to Mr. Sanders, they felt it would be better for his real child to bring this up.

He looked up at Thomas in surprise.

"Kids," he smiled, quickly wiping the tears. "What's up? Need more blueprint paper?"

"Dad, what's wrong?" Thomas asked, pulling out a chair and sitting next to him, Joan deciding to sit at the table as well while Mr. Sanders answered.

He looked down at the paper and sighed.

"It... It would've been our anniversary today."

Thomas tilted his head. Anniversary? For what?

"What do you mean?" Thomas's dad looked up at him and bit his lip. He looked to be deciding something before taking a deep breath.

"Do... Do you wanna know about your dads?" Thomas's eyes widened in shock.

"Yeah, oookay," Joan said, and when Virgil looked over, he saw Joan in more shock than Thomas seemed to be in. "This really seems like a convo I shouldn't be apart of."

Virgil laughed before looking at Thomas again. Thomas just inhaled before nodding.

"Yeah. I do want to know about him."

"Them," Thomas's dad corrected, looking back at the photo fondly. "Dads plural."

"Wait, what?" Joan asked, looking really confused.

"Mhmm," Virgil hummed with a smile, tears coming back into his eyes. "I met them in college, because we all loved music so much. It was so long ago that I still had to wear my binder."

Virgil beckoned both of them closer and they swarmed around Virgil as he showed them the photo. They easily recognized the one holding the camera as a younger version of Thomas's dad with a black, plaid hoodie that was way too big on him. Then, there were three other guys. One looked like he deserved to be the center of attention, with swoopy hair, charming green eyes and a prince-like costume. Then, there was one who's smile outshined the sun, with curly hair and freckles and too big glasses, with a cyan polo, a gray cardigan wrapped around his shoulders, and khaki shorts. And finally, one who looked to be the embodiment of the calm after a storm with a small smile, he wore rectangular glasses, a black polo, a light blue tie, and blue jeans.

"This one," he said, pointing to the one in a prince costume. "Is Roman. He was as extravagant and dramatic as he looks."

Thomas laughed, tears in his eyes from getting to know about his dad. No, his dads.

"And this one," he pointed at the one with a cardigan. "Is Patton. I always called him Pattycake though. He was so, so friendly and warm, like you Thomas."

"Really?" Thomas said, looking at Patton.

"Yep. And last but certainly not least," Virgil pointed at the sophisticated looking man. "Logan. He was so smart and calm and amazing. All of them were. And you remind me so much of all of them in different ways."

"Wow," Thomas breathed, and even Joan looked in awe. "Why was Roman dressed like that?"

Virgil laughed, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Because of our love of music, we started a band that we called 'LAMP', for reasons I still do not know. We all had one outfit for the band to represent who we were, and Roman chose that, because 'he was so princely'," Virgil laughed, and the kids started chuckling. "I played piano, Logan played drums, Patton played guitar, and Roman played bass. And soon after, we... fell in love with each other."

Joan made gagging noises as a joke, and Virgil laughed harder.

"A couple years went, and everything was great, but then..." Virgil paused, his inhales becoming shaky. "Logan and Roman started to always fight, and Patton tried so, so hard to break it up and get things back to how they were. And I- I-"

Virgil sobbed slightly, and pulled his patchwork hoodie closer to himself.

"I did nothing. I was and always will be a coward. But, eventually, we all decided it would be better if we- if we never saw each other again. A month after, I found out I was pregnant with you. I didn't want them to know, so I didn't drag them down because I'd be a burden. I never even tried to figure out which one was your 'real' father. I didn't think I could handle it. Oh, what I wouldn't give to perform with them and see them happy one last time."

Thomas hugged his dad so tight. And slowly, a thought- a plan, formed in his head. He smiled, turning it over and confirming, yes, this is what he wanted to do today.

"Hey dad?" Thomas asked, letting go of him to see Virgil drying his tears and putting the picture on the table. "Do you have... Any more pictures of them? That I could see?"

Virgil nodded with a smile, standing up and going into the living room before going upstairs.

"Dude," when Joan looked at him, he smiled determinedly. "I know what we should do today."

"Thommy, no offence, but I was thinking something more exciting than looking through photos," Joan said, slinging an arm around Thomas. Thomas laughed.

"No! We should get the band back together! At least for today!" Joan looked ecstatic as they nodded, pulling Thomas up the stairs and past his dad, taking the photo album without breaking their stride. Virgil laughed and told them to have fun as they made their way to the study.

Thomas sat down at the computer in the study, clicking keys as Joan looked over his shoulder, flipping through the album. Eventually, Thomas found his way to a video, which he clicked on. He didn't really pay attention until the part he needed.

"Bass player Roman Royal now runs a trendy hair salon, drummer Logic now quietly works at the public library, only lead singer and guitarist Patton is working in the music industry, and nobody knows where the pianist, Anxiety, has gone."

"Wait, rewind to Patton's part," Joan said, stopping their browsing through photos. Thomas did as they said and paused when told to. "I know that sign! It's down on main street!"

"We'll get him first, and then dad will be happy!" Thomas said excitedly. He looked at Joan and held his hand out. "Ready team?"

"So ready that I'm dead... Y," Joan finished off awkwardly, joining their hand with Thomas's.

"First, we need to spread the news and keep dad oblivious," Thomas smirked. "And I know just the guy."

---

Soon enough, the doorbell rung and Thomas opened it to a sixteen year old typing rapidly on his phone.

"Hey babes," Remy said, stepping inside and sipping on his Starbucks.

"I need you to--"

"Spread word about LAMP's reunion and keep your dad as blind as a bat? On it."

"Thanks Rem," he said, hugging the teens legs before grabbing Joan and running out the front door.

---

"Patton's Music Shop. This looks like the place," Thomas chuckled nervously as he looked at the sign. "Joan. I don't think I'm 100% ready to meet my dads."

"You'll do fine buckaroo," Joan patted his shoulder and dragged him into the music shop, where a customer was yelling at a man that Thomas recognized as Patton. One of his dads. Dear lord he wasn't ready to do this.

"I want a country guitar!" The customer yelled, and Patton looked pleading.

"I'm sorry Mx., but all I have are rock'n'roll guitars!"

"Whatever," the stranger said stomping out of the store, almost running over the two kids.

"They'll be back," Patton mumbled to himself, straightening his baby blue polo.

"Uhh," Thomas said, and Patton looked over at the two kids, and it took everything in Thomas to not faint from nervousness. "You're- you're Patton from LAMP, right?"

Patton smiled brightly and oh my goodness Thomas was not gonna make it through the conversation.

"Yeppers! Always a pleasure to see fans in public! Though," Patton said, looking confused. "You do look a bit young to be a fan of LAMP."

"I am, but my- my dad isn't. He- uh- loves, you guys."

"Really?" Patton said excitedly before he tilted his head. "You do look strangely familiar. What's your dad's name? Maybe I know him."

"Uh- well- you see--"

"Thomas," Joan said next to him, and he looked at them. "Breath."

Thomas nodded and breathed for a bit before looking at Patton.

"My dad is Virgil. Virgil Sanders." Patton froze and his eyes widened before kneeling down next to Thomas in excitement.

"You're Virgil's kid?! You're as cute as he was when I last saw him!" Patton suddenly deflated, looking at the floor. "Does that mean he's moved on?"

"Er- no." Patton looked up with curiosity. "You see, I'm actually one of your guy's- we don't know who's. As far as I know, he hasn't dated anyone since I was born."

Patton looked overjoyed again in a moment.

"Why are you here little one?" He asked, standing up.

"Uh, me and Joan- I'm Thomas, by the way- are getting LAMP back together." Patton squealed excitedly, bouncing up and down.

"REALLY?! Did Logan and Roman agree to this? Did your father agree to this?" Patton immediately worried, biting his lip.

"You're the first one we've come to," Joan admitted, and Patton looked at them. "We're trying to surprise Mr. Sanders and figured you'd be the easiest to convince. We will convince Mr. Royal and Logic to do this. Watch. Us."

"That sounds reassuring! I'm in."

"Okay, we'll text you where to go and when if we may kindly have your number?" Thomas asked, holding out his phone.

---

Remy called Thomas and Joan when they were outside of Roman's Hair Emporium.

"Hey babes. How's it goin'?"

"We got Patton," Thomas said happily, but also nervously because dear goodness he was going to have to talk to two more dads. "We're outside of Roman's Hair Emporium to talk to Roman, and in case that doesn't work, Joan's got a back up plan."

Thomas looked at Joan as they wore a medieval helmet, carrying a morningstar over their shoulder and holding a net in the other hand.

"How's it going with you?"

"Nearly everyone in town knows and your dad is still clueless. Well, I better get back to things over here. Good luck babes!"

"Thanks Rem," Thomas hung up and stared at the relatively imposing doors before he and Joan pushed them open and entered.

"Do you have an appointment?" The lady behind the desk said bored.

"No," Thomas said, pulling up a printed out poster of LAMP that Patton gave them and pointed at Roman. "We're looking for Roman. You know, the bass player of LAMP?"

Out of nowhere a pink and very sharp comb sliced through the air and impaled the poster, pinning it to the wall. Everyone but the kids gasped and looked at a man at the back of the salon that was undoubtably Roman Royal in casual clothes, and he was glaring at the poster in disdain.

He walked over to the kids, before kneeling down to get a closer look at them.

"Valerie, who are these little people?"

"I don't know sir," the lady behind the desk replied, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"You're a mess," he said looking at Thomas, making his heart sting a little bit before he looked to Joan. "And you, Fuedal Europe is so last month."

"We're trying to get LAMP back together," Thomas said, taking his (very little) courage and straightening his back. Roman huffed and stood up.

"Oh for goodness sake, talk to the hand."

"You see," Thomas said, starting to glare a bit. "My dad would've never had me if it wasn't for your band, and he's having a really rough day--"

"B to the O-R-I-N-G," Roman said, inspecting his nails with a bored look. Thomas didn't need to look over to see Joan raising their weapon menacingly with a hateful look. Thomas raised a hand in Joan's direction.

"Not yet, Joan. I got this."

"Okay."

"Well excuuuuse me, Mr. Royal," Thomas said, cutting off whatever it was Roman was about to say. "But if Virgil Sanders is having a rough day, I will do everything in my darn power to make it better, and if it takes getting the band back together for a night, I will do it Mr. Royal."

"Virgil?" Roman said in shock, looking at him. "You're- you're Virgil's son?"

"Yes. And I am Patton's son, and I am Logan's son, and I am your son." Thomas glared, getting on his tippy toes in an attempt to look Roman in the face. "So, we will get this forsaken band back together for tonight, and you'll never have to be associated with it ever again. Just to make dad happy. Please."

Roman looked down at him for a moment before ruffling his hair with a smile.

"You have your dad's fire, that's for sure."

---

Now Thomas and Joan were standing outside of the public library, and Thomas had his phone pressed to his ear.

"Hello? Talyn?" He said into the phone.

"Hey Thomas! What's up?" Talyn's slightly squeaky voice came through the phone, and Thomas smiled proudly.

"Guess what band's getting back together?"

"LAMP?" Thomas jumped in surprise and his expression turned to one of confusion.

"Uh, yeah. How'd you know?"

"It was the lead story on the five o'clock news," Talyn explained. "Let me guess, you guys need a stage, right?"

"Yeah! Can you help us out?"

"Already on it," Talyn said happily before moving away from the phone. "PRIDE SCOUTS, YOU BETTER HURRY YOUR PRETTY BUTTS! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!"

Thomas hung up and they entered the library.

"Who would've thought a drummer from a rock'n'roll band would end up in a place so quiet?" Joan whispered to him. He nodded in agreement as they made their way through. They both inhaled as they saw him at the librarians desk, stamping books before putting them on a cart. Logan.

The only thing that changed from the photo Virgil had shown them was the tie, which was replaced with a darker blue one with stripes.

They walked up to him, and he looked up at them while still doing his job.

"May I help you?"

Thomas pulled out the poster from before and showed it to Logan, pointing at his picture.

"You're Logic, ex-drummer of the band LAMP, right?" Logan lightly smiled, still stamping books.

"That, children, is a past life," Logan said, pointing to his nametag. "My name is Logan. Why do you ask?"

"Because they're reforming for one night only!" Logan's smile disappeared and he raised an eyebrow. "My dad is down in the dumps and I know the only way to make him happy is for him to see you guys again!"

"Well kids," he said looking back down at the books. "As charming as that sounds, I'm afraid the other members might not be too... Pleased, to see me."

"Are you kidding me?" Thomas asked, and he leaned on the desk, making Logan look at him. "Patton seemed pretty excited at seeing you all again, and Roman said he wished to make amends for his old ways!"

Logan looked up and stopped stamping books, looking at him in surprise.

"Really...?"

"Yeah!" Thomas said, smiling brightly. Logan smiled before he looked back down, resuming his work with a frown.

"How are you going to get Anxiety to agree to this? Not even the media knows where he is."

"About that," Thomas said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. Logan looked at him curious. "My dad- the one I'm doing all of this for? Uh- he's Virgil Sanders."

Logan stopped stamping books again in shock, and he tilted his head slightly.

"Your dad is Virgil?"

"Yep. Also I'm Patton's, Roman's, and your son," Thomas explained, and Logan inhaled sharply.

"Why didn't I know I have a son?" Thomas frowned and backed away from the desk, and Joan stepped in.

"Mr. Sanders has an awful habit of thinking himself as a burden. It even bums me out!"

Logan smiled softly, tears gathering in his eyes.

"He always did have self-esteem issues."

---

"Thank you Logan for driving us here," Thomas said, exiting the car and pulling him and Joan through the Pride Scout's construction.

"Your welcome," he said as he was pulled into the garage where they saw Patton and Roman hugging.

"Guess who I brought!" Thomas said, closing the door. Both Patton and Roman looked over and there was tears streaming down both of their faces. They immediately perked up and literally threw themselves onto Logan, making him yelp.

"LOGAN! I'M SO SO SO SORRY AND I'M TERRIBLE AND I DON'T EVER EXPECT YOU TO FORGIVE ME AND I'M SORRYYYYY," Roman sobbed, clinging onto Logan and Logan awkwardly patting him, tears falling down his own face.

"Roman, it's okay." Roman sniffled and looked up at him.

"R-Really?"

"Yes you dork," Logan snorted, holding both of them tight.

"Thommy, my man," Joan said, slinging their arm around Thomas, and unbeknownst to them, the grown men were now looking at them. "Your dads become any more sappy, and I might have to leave."

Thomas laughed and pulled his friend into a hug, twirling them around a bit.

"Oh, but Sappy Express hasn't arrived yet!"

"Sappy Express?" Patton asked, and when the kids looked at them, they were still hugging each other but were looking at them with fond expressions.

"Thomas?" A muffled voice called from the house and Thomas panicked, hearing the steps coming toward the garage. He (carefully) pushed Joan off and ran to the door, opening it enough to see his dad looking worried.

"HeY DAd!" He said in a panic, and Virgil looked even more concerned.

"Are you okay? I thought I heard someone yelling." Thomas silently cursed Roman before smiling widely at Virgil.

"Yelling? Here? In this house? What? That's crazy!" Virgil frowned, crossing his arms and giving Thomas the knowing look.

"I know when you're lying Thomas. So, care to tell me what you're lying about?" Virgil said, furrowing his brows as Thomas laughed nervously.

"Okay, I know you hate surprises, but hear me out on this one!" Virgil uncrossed his arms as Thomas suddenly opened the door all the way. Virgil froze at the sight of his former bandmates, them smiling softly at Virgil with more tears than before. "Surprise?"

Virgil stood there, blinking at them for a moment before turning away.

"I forgot to take my meds this morning. That makes sense. I'll take my meds and I'll be as close to sane as a Virgil Sanders can get," he said loudly, starting to walk away but someone grabbed his wrist before he could get too far. Virgil looked over to see Patton. Patton smiling. Holding him. And he could feel it. And oh god now he was crying.

"P-Patton?"

"Hey Starlight," Patton whispered, smiling so, so kindly at him. And Virgil just barreled into him and hugged him and soon he felt another two pairs of arms wrap around him and when he looked up he cried harder at seeing Logan and Roman. They were all there. All hugging. Oh god.

"Wait wait wait," Virgil said, backing away from them, which made them frown a bit. He looked at Thomas and Joan and did a sob-ish laugh. "Get in here kids. Even you Joan. You're getting on Sappy Express whether you like it or not."

"Ohhh, Sappy Express! I get it now!"

Thomas and Joan ran into Virgil's arms and Virgil beckoned his... His friends? Over as well. They all hugged as a famILY for who knows how long before something in the garage slammed open and they all looked as Talyn came tumbling into the room.

"Alright b*tches--"

"TALYN. What did I say about cussing?" Virgil frowned, and the other three adults looked between them confused, as Virgil used to cuss all the time. Talyn sighed.

"I can cuss all I want, as long as I don't do it on your property..."

"That's right. No cussing in me ma's house," Virgil said seriously, and the other three laughed and held on to Virgil tighter somehow.

"Anyways, ladies and Mr. Sanders, time to go on! There's a whole crowd waiting!"

"What?" Virgil asked before looking at Thomas, who was trying to sneak away with Joan. "Thomas Sanders, Joan Stokes."

They both turned around looking worried.

"Heeeeeeey dad," they both said simultaneously, Joan even calling Virgil dad (they did it a lot).

"What is Talyn talking about?"

"Your kid--"

"Our kid," Virgil corrected with a glare, and Roman continued with a smile.

"Our kid decided to get the band back together for one night for a concert. Marvelous idea if I do say so myself!"

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Virgil shouted in a panic, looking at Thomas. "Oh no. Oh no no no no, this can't be good."

"Virgil."

"Oh dear we haven't done this in so long! What if something goes wrong while we're up there?!"

"Virge."

"Anything could happen! ANYTHING!"

"Starlight."

"What if something catches on fire?! WHAT IF A METEOR COMES--"

"DAD!"

Virgil looked at Thomas, hyperventilating. Thomas smiled.

"You'll be fine dad."

Virgil calmed down his breathing and smiled shakily at his son.

"Okay. Okay," he said, turning to his bandmates-for-the-night and nodded. "Okay! Let's do this."

Someday, there would be dates. And they would move into one house, and there would be a wedding. There would be movie nights, laughter, and warmth on cold days. There would also be arguments, tears, panic attacks, and things that would tear them apart. But they always mended before things could get too out hand (partially out of fear of another child being born and Virgil being too scared to tell them (it actually almost happened once. They all love Emile with their hearts)). They always came back together.

But right now? Right now, they had a crowd waiting for them.

#sanders sides #sanders sides au #thomas sanders #joan stokes #ts talyn #ts valerie #emile picani #remy sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #trans virgil #trans!virgil #lamp #analogical #royality #logicality #prinxiety #moxiety #logince #dude we're getting the famILY back together au #phineas and ferb #kai’s writing

[sophiexteresa]

Thomas Sanders Instagram Q&A Transcript

From @thatsthat24’s Instagram story, 25/8/2020. Questions in bold. Text added to the story in (parenthesis/brackets), and descriptive info in *italics*. I tried uploading the video(s) too, but Tumblr is having issues, so here’s the transcript only! 

Thomas: I had some time this evening so I figured, hey, why not? Another lil’ Q an’ A, so if you want to ask a question *posh French voice* be my guest!

When approximately will the next sanders sides be out? Very good question! Uh, we are aiming this for a late September release, that’s what we’re all working towards.

Favourite musical you have been in or just favourite musical in general? This is really tough, I can’t decide. I’m between Rent where I was in the ensemble, Peter Pan where I played Slightly Soiled, which was just one of the lost boyos — boyos? Boys — and, uh, Into The Woods where I played Cinderella’s prince and that’s where Roman’s first costume came from.

Are you ever gonna due your hair purple again? I loved it! Yes! I miss the purple hair too.

Do you love me? *laughing* Yes of course! I do love me.

What would each of the sides’ reaction be to seeing the Grand Canyon? *speaking very quickly* Roman would be revelling that we made the journey, Patton would be marvelling at the memories being made, Logan would be telling you to look at these fascinating signs for important information, Virgil would be telling you to ‘get back from those cliffs!’, Janus would be telling you to take pictures to make it look like you’re next to the cliff, ‘for clout’, and Remus would be like *Remus voice* ‘you could push somebody and get away with it’.

Also when will we get more Picani, I miss him? You and me both, Bri, and honestly with the amount of amazing cartoons that have come out recently *sighs while smiling* yeah, I am a-hankering (?) to get back to Emile!

How have you been doing, like really? Mental health is important as you teach us: I feel like everybody’s kinda struggling with mental health right now, especially people in the USA with COVID. Uhm *clears throat* for me I continuously struggle with the balance between work and leisure time, um, social media makes that difficult, blurs the lines, and I’m working on it.

Do you have any tattoos? Umm, I don’t, uh, I struggle with the permanence of tattoos. And like do I, can I, make a decision that I like? But! There are tattoos that I might like. Where I’d put them, I have no idea, umm, but I think like, maybe like, little stars!

What rank of “Gay” are you? Big gay? What rank? *speechless pause* uh... General. You know? I wanna do my duty. Come back a hero. An all-American Queero *gets an idea* *roughly quoting Hamilton* Queer comes the General!

Can you please make Logan day something Patton would say? *Logan’s voice* Something Patton would say? Umm... please, I request more baked goods from the kitchen so that I can fill Thomas’s body with more trans-fats at 3 am. I don’t know, I don’t like this game.

Have you ever dated a girl? *awkward silence* I have. It was pretty uneventful.

Do you miss your friends? *laughs* Oh... *face crumples as if he’s about to cry*

What are you voice acting in or are you now allowed to say? Not until tomorrow.

When did you know you were gay? I think I answered this one on the last Q&A, but it was early. I was like, 9 or 10 at least.

When will we see Gavin? Gavin has started school! He’s back in his hometown, so I don’t know when I’m gonna see him. He’s still getting taller — I can actually include a picture of him that his mom sent me after he got a new little hairdo *insert photo of an awesome Gavin here*

Do you miss vine? For like, sentimental reasons, yes. Uh, I mean, technically it had its issues and I don’t miss being restricted to 6 seconds anymore *laughs*

What has been your favourite part of the day? My favourite part of today was actually... I came up with this last minute short video, and I got it done and I sent it to some friends and they really liked it. I have to save it until Thursday thought, but it’s just nice to come up with stuff that makes your friends laugh.

Janus acting like Remus? *Remus’ voice* Remus here! Looks like the Dukey just dropped in! *Remus’ laugh* *Takes a breath and snaps into Janus’ character* I spend a lot of time with him so I’ve had a lot of practise.

Why do I feel like we’re gonna have another angsty Virgil moment? When is Virgil not being angsty...?

Please can you say trans rights? Uh, heck yah trans rights! I, uh, this one was very simple but I wanted to say it!

Do you think Virgil would be into anime? Actually, if you remember from, uh, Accepting Anxiety, uh, part 2, there’s actually a Death Note poster in his room, so he definitely likes some anime.

Hi! Can you say hola to the Hispanic fanders in el vecindario fander? Please? We love you! Oh my gosh, *a very naturally american pronunciation* hola! that’s very kind of you guys. I appreciate all of the support you guys give, and I love all of you guys. 

STORYTIME! I love you: *upbeat voice* Storytime! I love you back.

How gay are you? Like, 15 gay! I rank General! 

How did you end up meeting and babysitting Gavin? Gavin is actually Leo’s nephew, so he would come up here, uh, during the holidays or during the summer, and alternate being baby-sat between me and Leo’s mom - his grandma.

What was the inspo for Janus’ outfit? Ooh, that’s a really good question, uh... Joan had a vision in their mind for almost kind of like this early 20th century or late 19th century kinda Jack the Ripper vibe.

Any advice for gaybies to fit in with society? Don’t apologise for being yourself. If people have an issue, that’s their issue that they have to work through. Do not apologise for being yourself. 

What type of gay are you? (Math gay, plant gay, caffine gay, etc): Wait, there’s such thing as a math gay? I am absolutely that, and I feel like I’m just gonna be naming traits about myself but I’m a trivia gay, a driving gay, apparently a math gay, a Disney gay *laughs* and a theatre gay.

Not a question but I’m glad to be alive at the same time as someone as great as you: Dude, this stuff is really sweet. *laughs* That’s really sweet, umm, trust me, I feel the same way about all of you. Honestly.

Why don’t you own a doggo yet? I... went to Petsmart today - I didn’t get an animal, but like... I’m thinking about it and this question is like... hmmm...

I’ve run out of cartoons to watch, any recommendations? Owl house! Owl house, owl house. I just tried it, and I immediately got hooked. Infinity train’s also a really good one, duck tales is amazing, and I’m getting ready to start Tangled: the animated series, so *shrugs*.

What is Patton’s opinion on rats? *adorable Patton voice, slowly zooming in on his face* They are tiny little squishy precious babies!!!

How do I ask people for their pronouns? I don’t know, I mean, I don’t think it’s like a big deal? I hope we could get to the point where we could just be like ‘what are your pronouns?’ and then they would tell you, and then you’d just, you know, carry on the rest of your conversation. 

A circle has no bounds and it’s the same with your beauty: This is really precious, and it of course came from Nash (?) who is a poet, he published a lot of wonderful, wonderful poems on twitter, they are are amazing, and you are once again far too sweet, Nash. 

Dream role? This is a pretty broad question, so maybe dream theatrical role would be Sweeny Todd, dream movie role would be anything in the marvel universe, uh, really just give me anything in any voice acting role, *smiling mischievously* egg rolls are also really good.

Can Remus please say ‘I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand’? *Remus voice* I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand! (love that vine)

Are there still plans for the Roman series? *nods* Oh, yeah, yeah, it was definitely hindered by COVID, uh, as was this Sanders Asides episode that’s coming up, which is why it’s taking longer in the editing stage, it is our, uh... strategy, for circumventing the obstacle, and we hope you like it.

Are we still getting an August playlist? Uh, heck yah you are! But honestly, actually, if you guys have any suggestions I should include in the playlist, lemme know! I’d be happy to get some suggestions - but yes. You will be definitely getting one.

May I please see your feet? *confused, slightly disgusted expression* *begins to move the camera away from his face* *holds up a tape measure, extended to 1 foot long* *grins*

Any shows on Netflix to recommend? Umbrella Academy is really good, Dragon Prince, uh, She-Ra, of course, umm The Hollow (?) is really cool, there’s a documentary about video games called High Score, that was really fun.

Roman, who would you say the gayest side is? *Roman’s voice* Oh, we’re all equally gay, okay? *chuckles* it’s a sexuality, not a personality trait. *takes a breath and speaks quickly* I’m just kidding it’s *sings* meeeeee!

If you were not a YouTuber, what would you see yourself doing and why? Uh, maybe putting my chemical engineering degree to some use. *laughs awkwardly* Uh, I went to school for 5 years for that one.

Like you literally make me so flipping happy: I’m glad! I don’t know what I’m doing to do that, but the feeling is absolutely mutual. 

Can we have Virgil saying “Falsehood”? *hair already over one eye, in Virgil’s voice* Uh, c’mon, okay, sure. *very quietly and unenthusiastically* falsehood. Is that good? Is that? I don’t know, I don’t wanna steal his bit.

Which Sanders Side do you feel you embody most? Ah, I would probably say it’s either Patton or Roman because Patton can be definitely me, all the time, just really enthusiastic about things and finding things cute, but Roman... Roman’s sensitivity, oh. That’s me. 

What was the first job you had? I actually worked as a page in a library! A- pages basically just kinda like, shelve books, check books out; it’s one of the chillest jobs I’ve ever had, one of my favourites, and my dad always had a lovely dad joke for it: ‘you’re working as a page, when do you get promoted to a book?’

How tall are you? I usually say 5ft 10, but I think I’m trying to be a little more realistic with myself. And I’m probably 5ft 9 and a half. *zooms in on his face, staring into the camera* I’m holding onto that half a foot for all dear life. 

DROP THE SKIN ROUTINE PLEASE! This is very sweet, uh, I, *laughs nervously*, uh, I use Curology? They’re very nice. Umm, just... different kinds of lotion, I guess. (I suppose I should write down what I do lol)

Can we get a FALSEHOOD? *is standing* *clears throat* *points upwards from his eyeline* FALSEHOOD! 

Do you have a boyfriend if not are you planning on dating soon? I do not, uh, dating is kinda difficult right now midst COVID, you know, kinda tough... love... in the time of Corona... umm, but, you know, option’s open.

When was your first kiss? I’m sure I’ve answered this somewhere, it was in high school, I might have been 15 or 16. It was with a girl. *Shakes head* And all I can remember is hitting teeth. A lot.

Can we get a super super vague hint about the new Asides episode?  Alright, I’m getting ready to end the Q&A, so this, you know, if you’ve made it so far you deserve this super vague answer, umm... it includes a side that was not in the last episode. (This isn’t much, I apologise lol)

Thomas: And that is it for this evening! Thank you so much, you guys, for watching. I know some of you are still over in Europe watching and it’s like 4 in the morning, and I need to go to bed so thank you all so much for your questions - I gotta do this more often ‘cause I really enjoy it. Love you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. Peace out!

#edit: if you want to see the video(s) then please feel free to ask and i’ll try to send it to you! thanks so much #WOAH #This took me literaly hours to write up #probably 5 or so hours #i've been at it all day #anyhow tags! #thomas sanders #sanders sides #tss #tssides #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #ts janus #ts remus #ts virgil #ts #if there's any corrections i need to make please tell me since i'm too tired to re-read

[smokeybrand]

Smokey band Movie Reviews: Wowza

The Suicide Squad is the best film DC has made since The Dark Knight. That’s it. That’s the review. If you want to know why i can say that with unassailable confidence, you can continue reading but from this point on, i am literally just going to gush about this f*cking thing like a straight up school girl.  It’s that good and you should go watch it right now. This is about to be a love letter to the best film I've seen all year, mostly because i haven’t seen any A24 flicks, but this thing is a fantastic consolation for that glaring disappointment.

The Inspired

The writing in this movie is easily the best the DCEU has to offer. I say that knowing there are some people who believe BvS is f*cking Shakespeare and MoS is Hemingway. They’re not. They’re both dogsh*t. The Suicide Squad absolutely is everything the neckbeard fanboys want those films to be. I marvel at how well the events blend, how organically the character interact, how real they feel in a movie with a giant kaiju space starfish as the driving conflict for the plot. It’s f*cking inspired and lays solid ground work for very exceptional aspect of this movie going forward. Your film starts on the page and James Gunn understands that sh*t very well.

The emotion in this movie is palpable. I literally teared up toward the end. That’s rare for me because I'm kind of an emotionless monster but that line, “I’m a superhero!” f*cking gut checked me. Gunn has done that to me three times. “WE are Groot.” "He may have been your father, boy. But he wasn't your daddy." It wasn’t Pete swinging in after the “On your left.” in Endgame but it was close. Dude is too good at that sh*t and it’s weird that Marvel is willing to let him go. They better lock that dude the f*ck up!

Chemistry is everything for an ensemble like this and this cast definitely has that. I bought their interactions without having to suspend my disbelief, not like in other, lesser SKWAD films. I particularly like the relationship between Ratcatcher II and Bloodsport. That sh*t was sweet and brought a legitimate smile to my face.

I mentioned how well this film was written but, aside from the brilliant plot that made all of these misfit killers relevant, the character work really goes a long way to selling this narrative. Like, you absolutely fall in love with Polka Dot Man by the end of this thing. They made Peacemaker an irredeemable bastard. Like, do you know how well you have to develop a character played by John f*cking Cena, for people to hate him? He’s the White people version of The Rock! That’s near impossible but they definitely pull it off. It’s like Gunn watched the first SKWAD, saw what they did with El Diablo and just decided to do that. And when i say “do that’, i mean actually write these f*cking characters as people instead of stereotypes and tropes.

The Great

This is an ensemble film, which means it lives and dies by it’s cast. Well, this motherf*cker is living mas! Not a single character was miscast in this. Not a one. From the supporting characters like Alice Braga’s Sol Soria and Peter Capaldi’s Thinker, to the expendable distraction SKWAD. Loved seeing Jai Courtney’s Captain Boomerang again and i even like Pete Davidson’s Blackguard. I can’t stand Pete Davidson. This cast is MCU levels of excellent but, of course, there are standouts.

Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flag does the best work of his career. This dude almost always sucks in the roles he takes on but I'm starting to think that’s because of the direction he’s given because dude kills it as Flag in this. I genuinely liked him this time around. He felt like a real person and not some caricature of whatever the generic US Marine is supposed to be.

Margot Robbie is the live action Harley Quinn. She embodies this character like Ledger did Joker and RDJ did Stark. It’s that good and this version of Harley is easily the best. She feels complete, like she’s finally the Harls in the comics and i love it. This Harleen is who the character should have been from the jump but a lot of that was on Margot. She had to grow into the character, develop her ability because the first time she donned that Puddin’ necklace was rough. She’s come a long way and so has Harley.

I touched on this before but John Cena’s Peacemaker is a f*cking bastard. This casting genius because of the message behind the movie. I’ll get into that later but casting the most All-America motherf*cker to play the villain in a film about US involvement in Sovereign Foreign nations? And for Cena to literally play up his Patriot shtick only to turn out to be an allegory for the sordid reality of America? Bro, this sh*t got over. Cena is outstanding as Peacemaker. This cat really does have the chops to be a movie star. Looking forward to this show they gave him, for sure.

Polka-Dot Man is arguably the best character in this entire film. I love what Gunn wrote for him and absolutely adore how David Dastmalchian gave the character life. He had the best arc in the entire film and i really enjoyed his journey. When he got his moment, i teared up a little bit. Dude deserved that. Dude earned that. For me to have such a visceral reaction to that scene is testament to how well  Dastmalchian did his job!

Listen, i love Idris Elba. I do. Cat has all of the swagger. He’s easily as charismatic as Obama and i dig that. However, he just plays Idris Elba. Like, his Bloodsport is literally just John Luther but, you know, murder prone. That’s not a bad thing, it definitely works, but, if I'm being honest, as a character, he’s the weakest of the lot but that’s how good everyone is in this. Idris f*cking Elba is the weakest character in this cast! What?? It’s not even like he’s bad or anything, he just plays the same dude over and over.

And now we get to my favorite character in this flick, Ratcatcher II. Listen, i have no idea who the f*ck Daniela Melchior is, but she is the absolute heart of this film, the moral compass of this team, and she never shirks away from that challenge. She has outstanding chemistry with Elba and the relationship between their two characters is the sweetest sh*t I've seen in a long time. It reminded me a lot of Logan and Laura. Melchior, if he chooses, can have a great career in Hollywood because she’s a real talent.

The Good

The plot to this thing makes sense. It’s not something as intricate as The Dark Knight but it’s head-and-shoulders better than anything the DCEU has produced and objectively sh*ts on the SKWAD that came before it. Destabilizing a small Latin American nation feels more like something Waller would have theses assholes do, rather than trying to kill a f*cking god with boomerangs and bullets. This movie is everything the first SWKAD attempt wants to be.

The violence and gore in this is ramped up to a eleven. There is a lot of grotesque sh*t in this thing and it starts the second Blackguard gets his face blown off. Like, his entire f*cking face. You see ALL of that sh*t and SO much more. Like, it gets grimy and i appreciated that. A SKWAD film needs that blood. This is a team of remorseless killers. We, as the audience, need to feel that and this flick delivers.

James Gunn can direct his ass off. When they announced he was going to be in charge of this film way back when, i knew it was going to be legit. When they announced t was a hard R, i needed it in my life. We’re talking Guardians with murder. Were talking the quintessential James Gunn vision and what a vision it is. Not only did he direct the f*ck out of this movie, but he wrote it, too! Mans has the only writing credit on this production. This is all him! It’s wild seeing the difference between directors on display. Gunn delivered a film that one could argue is the best of the year while Zack Snyder made f*cking Army of the Dead. The discrepancy between the quality of these two films is why i hate Snyder so much and have all of the love for Gunn.

The imagery in this thing is f*cking top tier. There are shot that are legitimate art It's a weird juxtaposition considering how bloody some of these scenes get but, f*ck, is it gorgeous!

I have to mention the editing. I usually don’t bother because it’s always adequate and, admittedly, it feels only slightly better in this film but it’s competent. It’s better than the first and you really feel that sh*t. Like, i watched the movie in preparation for this one and, oh my god, the difference in an actual team of professional film editors really cut a great film. Who’ have thought letting a f*cking trailer house construct your movie that it would end up feeling like a ton of trailers strung together and be bad?

This movie is overtly political. It has a lot to say about the influence of the US abroad. It doesn’t shy away from the realities of our international policy and really hammers home the reality of what the United States is, rather than the way we portray ourselves to be. This culminates in a struggle between Flag and Peacemaker; Both soldiers to the core but on opposite ends of the American ideal. It’s actually really brilliant and, if you aren’t paying attention, will go over your head. This is how you instill your politics into a film. This is how you execute ideals in a narrative. Gunn has a lot to say and he says it in the loudest way, but with the quietest voice.

The Okay

The only beef i can see people having with this is the exposition dumps. There are a few but they kind of stall the overall flow. I didn’t mind them too much because, by the time we get to them, the film has built up so much good will by being just fantastic.

The Verdict

I f*cking loved this movie, dude. Look how long this list of dope sh*t is. I literally itemized all of the reasons why this flick is so great. I can’t articulate it and more clear. I told you at the very beginning, literally the first thing i wrote, that The Suicide Squad is the best film in the DCEU and i mean that sh*t. Grace Randolph is a f*cking hack. Don’t listen to her incredibly bias opinion. Just f*cking go watch it and decide for yourself! It’s in theaters right now and on HBO max for free.

[drangues]

ansbwjjcnw I still gotta read it but my motivation to Do New Shit is. So very low right now. All I want are naps. BUT I’m sure an art of Tangled!Dazatsu from you would look really nice, if you decide to draw it! ALSO GOOD LUCK ON YOUR TEST IM ROOTING FOR YOU, make sure you get enough sleep and eat something filling!!! Anyways, let’s be honest- Dazai and Chuuya only get worse when their attention flustered their boyfriends. (Nyanon, 1/7)

This is because (A) they think Flustered BFs are fucking adorable, and also (B) they know this means that their boyfriends haven’t been appreciated much and that means War (on their low self image). Also I love the implication that rich kid!Dazai and Chuuya’s natural reaction to being Pissed at each other is to spoil Atsushi or Akutagawa. It’s great. And! That is: EXACTLY. What I’m saying. (Nyanon, 2/7)

I can imagine them as that one post of the writer and the artist throwing chapters and pictures at each other, ahaha. Dazai practically being the embodiment of a chaotic author is Very Fitting, he writes when he writes and in whatever genre strikes him. No, there’s no need to worry about him, he’s definitely not living on coffee and spite alone. And Atsushi is definitely the type to mostly stick to fluffy drawing, I think! (Nyanon, 3/7)

He can definitely do other things, but he probably finds drawing cute stuff comforting. Also Kyouka likes the super cute ones and he’s pretty much willing to draw whatever to keep the baby sis happy. I also imagine that he’d do commissions? Because it never hurts to have an additional source of income. Except he’s a pushover when people tell him his prices are “too high” or something, so Kyouka has to put her foot down and tell him to Not give in, haha. (Nyanon, 4/7)

(It’s okay Dazai, I’m an attention whore to. I want to be complimented too much.) And! Poor Atsushi, haha, he probably wasn’t expecting his favorite author to say he liked his art? He probably keysmashes and then draws a cute little doodle for another one of Dazai’s fics and then Dazai is just. Gone. Also ten bucks says that their first DM interaction is Dazai saying something memey. It just feels like something he’d do. (Nyanon, 5/7)

And a bonus: Kyouka does really deep analyses of different shows and books and games, and occasionally on fanfiction as well. Kunikida makes a comprehensive, huuuge post on the lore Igor different series because I feel like he’d enjoy doing something like that? Just like, organizing the background and making it more understandable, if that makes sense? I’m not sure what Chuuya would but I get the distinct sense of someone who makes edits and aesthetics from Akutagawa. (Nyanon, 6/7)

Yosano and Ranpo both probably have that weird “list of questionable shit the authors need answers to” blog or something... I’m in too deep. Help. But! Have another Concept: Faking dating jealousy cliche, with Dazatsu and Chuuaku. Basically, Chuuya decides that he and Atsushi should pretend to be a couple to see if it’ll get their crushes attention. Cue confusion and jealousy from Dazai and Akutagawa, who may or may not have realized their own feelings. (Nyanon, 7/7)

dude dont worry i was joking there no pressure!! and felt. right now im so sleep deprived and studying for a test and i have oTHER ASSIGNMENTS TO DO- its all draining, and i mainly feel bad because i havent posted any art, but i do know that fandom is not a job but a hobby and its okay that i take my time

also kyouka being his number one supporter is just!! so!! cute!!! in my opinion kyouka would be that very young but hella good with technology in the fandom like, she would make gifs and edits in an INSTANT and when everyone learns shes fourteen theyre like W H A T?? either way, shes the one who probably shows atsushi the ropes of digital art and has the vibes of that young tech person in a show that definitely can hack into any government files. (as a joke she would most definitelly do an edit of “dazai” except its just screenshots of his fics and some lines here and there with some dramatic effects and sexy music. atsushi wont admit that he has it downloaded)

dazais way to start a conversation is definitely sending a random meme to get it going, since atsushi would be too shy to initiate conversations

also kyouka doing deep analysises is so her!! she would probably even start a youtube channel where she explains everything in that robot voice and funny editing but no one can lie that all her videos are very in depth.

OH GOD KUNIKIDA IS THE TYPE TO GATHER ALL THE FACTS OF A SHOW, POST ABOUT IT. EXPLAIN THE MAGIC SYSTEM FOR ANYONE THATS CONFUSED. IF THERES AN ANIME WITH A CONFUSING PLOT THAT YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN?? KUNIKIDA IS YOUR MAN. HE CAN EXPLAIN ALL OF JOJO SEAMLESSLY AND DOES MANY REVIEWS ON ANIMES AND GATHERS ALL SORTS OF LORES MEANWHILE YOSANO AND RANPO ARE THE MORE CRACKHEADED ANALYSTS (when the three collab its just kunikida trying to be serious while yosano and ranpo do the fuckboy lip bite behind him and then throw in jokes and “author if you do not explain why these two characters are a little too fruity ill personally use my chainsaw on you” “why are these two siblings even together, wHY ARE THEY IN THE SAME BED-”)

dude. i feel like chuuya and atsushi would fake date and it would be for akutagawa. atsushi definitely wants to tell dazai about this but chuuya is afraid dazai will run his dumb mouth, plus when they “announce” it chuuya just Sees how dazais demeanor changes and is like “you know what,,lets keep this up” (either way akutagawa would end up crying like a loser in front of chuuya and chuuya would feel so bad for even fake dating to make him jealous meanwhile dazai is just mad that he couldnt have internalised his feelings and bottle them up “you just H A D to date the slug, my biggest pet peeve!!! if it was anyone else i wouldve MAYBE let it sLIDE-”)

#anon #ask #ask anon #anon ask #nyanon #nyatsushi anon #bsd

[deans-haunted-baby]

Why I don’t think Michael will side with Chuck in the End

I know there’s theories floating around that Michael may have been deceiving the Winchesters in 15x08. Its true we have no idea what his agenda is or if he’s that interested in playing nice with TFW. They did trap him in Hell with their half brother for a long time so he’s not exactly warm & fuzzy about that. However this isn’t the psychotic, sinister version of Michael from the alternate universe nor is he the same steel cold obedient soldier back in 5x22. He’s changed massively. There’s more humanity in him now than he’d like to admit. In spite of what we’ve seen from Michael in the past, I don’t think he’s interested in harming Sam and Dean, at least not currently. And I just can’t see him running to Chuck, not after receiving all that alarming information. So I'm going to present the following reasons for why he probably won’t turn on the boys. Number 1 being the most important. Adam Milligan.

For however it happened the archangel bonded with a human. The formally resurrected 19 yr old illegitimate son of John Winchester. All those years spent in the cage these two managed to forge an understanding between one another; an unusual strong connection. They're friends and allies. Michael listens to and respects Adam’s opinions even if he doesn’t always agree. Allows him freedom to control his own body. And despite being the ruthless warrior that he still is, Michael’s been shown to be much more merciful, patient and compassionate compared to when the boys last faced him. Because of his relationship with Adam, Michael’s developed a newfound appreciation for humanity similar to his aunt Amara aka the Darkness. He truly cares about Adam and protects him. Like at the diner when he smote Lilith for posing a threat. Then instead of killing the witnesses in front of Adam, Michael chooses to spare their lives by erasing their memories. He even defended Adam to the Winchesters further demonstrating that he does consider his feelings. That’s beyond the person he was when he told Dean “Adam isn’t home right now” all those years ago.

So I have no doubt Michael will do what ever means necessary to keep Adam safe from Chuck, who is hell bent on destroying the world which Adam is part of. Even if that means siding with some old enemies to take him down so be it. As the old saying goes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. Of course that doesn’t mean Adam shares any love for Sam and Dean. Hell no. He made that pretty clear at the diner. He has every reason and right to hate them after ten years of failure to save him from Hell. Every reason to make them suffer. Adam deserves to be pissed at the Winchesters and the world for doing him dirty like that. But...for better or worse, Sam and Dean are still his brothers. Its for that reason and that reason alone that I don’t see Michael threatening to go after them later. He knows Adam wouldn’t want that unless (he really is a scheming crazy person deep inside) Michael’s friendship with him is just smoke & mirrors which I don’t believe for one second. 

And Adam’s been presented as being a very forgiving, kind soul despite all the pain he’s been through. Revenge wasn’t even on his mind the moment he got out of that cage. It was human food on top of wanting to go back to school or get a job. Meaning he cared more about getting back to some sense of normalcy. Then when Castiel and the Winchesters pulled him and Michael into their crisis, Adam was willing to hear their side and attempted to convince Michael to help them. Why go through that whole charade if Adam just wanted Sam and Dean hurt or dead? They had every opportunity to double-cross TFW while being held captive but instead Michael & Adam chose to put aside their grievances, at least for the moment, and give the Winchesters something useful. Now whether or not the spell actually works (I doubt it’ll be that simple) is the mystery. However this definitely not the last time we’ll see these two characters which brings me to point number 2. Jack Kline.

This is a big one. Why you ask? Well lets go over that scene in 15x08 where Castiel shares his memories with Michael and Adam. There was so much foreshadowing in this moment (from Michael/Adam’s return down the road, to Michael’s unavoidable confrontation with Chuck and finally his eventual encounter with the young Nephilim himself) based on how that scene was shot and edited. The primary objective was Michael watching Jack die at the snap of Chuck’s fingers and reacting to it along with all the other nasty business his dad’s been doing behind the scenes. Talking didn’t seem to be enough to get through to Michael and neither did antagonizing him. His stubbornness and arrogance wasn’t surprising being he is the Prince of Heaven and has a blind idealized devotion for his father as his loyal son. So in order to open Michael’s eyes and get him to see the truth, Castiel focuses his energy on the most ruthless, evil act Chuck has ever committed. Murdering his grandson and Michael’s nephew. 

Doing this Castiel shatters that righteous image Michael has had of his father forever because Chuck/God (father of all creation) is suppose to be the embodiment of light, love, hope, peace and benevolence. He created Michael to be his champion of humanity; the guardian protector of Heaven and Earth. Its Michael’s sworn destiny to defend good against evil. And Chuck crossed the line, several in fact. He represents everything Michael was born to oppose. Trying to mess with free will, attempting to destroy everything he created all out of spite because the Winchesters refused to play his games anymore. But above every horrible thing he’s ever done there’s no sin greater than taking the life of his own flesh and blood. A child born of a human (God’s greatest creation) and an archangel (Michael’s younger brother Lucifer whom, despite their conflict, he loved immensely). That is unforgivable. No matter how much he may still love him, Michael has absolutely no reason to trust his father; not after all those centuries of deception. And Chuck has shown he has no regard for human life let alone the lives of his own family which Jack’s death all represents. 

Now Michael chose to leave at the end of 15x08 after giving our heroes the spell to trap Chuck and showing them the door to Purgatory. But what’s interesting about that is his reference to the Darkness. It’s unclear if Michael even knows Amara has been released and neither Dean or Castiel ever mention it. I wonder if he can sense her energy. So the question is where is Michael going? Is he planning to seek her out or leaving to confront his father (which I doubt since Chuck is preoccupied with Sam and Eileen at the moment)? What we do know is Michael and Adam can’t avoid the inevitable. They’re as much apart of this fight as TFW whether they like it or not. It all depends on which side Michael ultimately chooses. Will he align himself with the Winchesters or is he going to be on his own side? It’ll be interesting to find out when the show returns in 2020!  And I’ve been thinking a lot about what Michael’s interaction with Jack will look like when they’re finally reunited because if its anything like what we saw with Gabriel (or better) that could be a good sign for Sam, Dean and Castiel. 

 Out of all his paternal family members Jack’s so far met his biological dad (that didn’t go over so well), his grandfather (that didn’t go well either) and one of his archangel uncles. He’s yet to encounter his great aunt Amara the Darkness or his most powerful famous warrior uncle. The original Michael. Those are interactions I’d very much like to see happen before the show ends. But for arguments sake lets say Michael does consider turning on the Winchesters. Not that he would or might but what if he still has doubts. Jack could be TFW’s best chance at gaining Michael’s trust, cooperation and alliance. He could tell his uncle that Castiel and the Winchesters had been raising him as their own; protecting him since he was born. Things I’m sure Michael might appreciate. Or Jack could confide his biggest regret (accidently killing Mary Winchester) as a means to bond with Michael and help him understand the Winchester brothers a little better. Reminding Michael and Adam of redemption and forgiveness. That any pain the Winchesters might’ve caused them has no comparison to what Jack took from Sam and Dean and yet they’re still a family.

It’ll be fascinating to see how they go about the dynamic between these characters considering what happened with AU Michael in S13 and S14. Jack may be a little hesitant of his uncle at first and Michael may be hostile (since he probably knows Nephilim are forbidden) yet curious or a combination of both. Or maybe their first encounter may be a bit softer than expected what with Adam in the middle of things. Michael could become very taken with Jack and protective of him. He was very distraught after seeing those horrifying images of his father killing his nephew. And I could see Adam being their ice breaker (oh the comedic possibilities of this!) he’s a very laidback, likable chill dude not to mention Sam and Dean’s half brother. Yah that little detail is probably going to be the most shocking for Jack since Adam’s never been a blip on the Winchesters’ radar.

Moving onto point number 3. Heaven. It’s dying which is why Jack was manipulated into creating new angels to power it up. After all the damage done by Metatron, Lucifer and the Entity it’s left in ruin and without proper leadership. We know as of right now Michael has no intention of going back there. He’s severely withdrawn since learning his brothers are all deceased and probably feels like a failure and a fool. But none the less he’s got unfinished business back home. By the time Supernatural ends someone’s got to be left in charge of things up there, my moneys on either Amara or Michael since he’s the heir to the throne of Heaven. It would be a fitting ending for either of them. Maybe Michael will somehow restore Heaven’s power (with Amara and Jack) and reopen it for the all the earthbound souls. Or maybe in the aftermath of the final showdown against Chuck, Michael will just hang around with Adam and whoever else is left standing on Earth. And finally we reach my last point number 4. Amara.

What do we know about Michael’s complicated history with his aunt? Not much either than the fact that he and his brothers were ordered by Chuck to seal her away centuries ago; with no intention of ever releasing her. Something tells me Amara wouldn’t harbor any kind of affection for Michael, not after what we saw with Lucifer. And we have no idea if she still shares that same connection with Dean as she did in S11 (though rumor has it they got an upcoming storyline together in the back-half of S15) or if she’s even interested in lending a hand in the Winchesters’ business of saving the world. However Amara has been shown, like Michael, to have developed a love for humanity. She’s having the time of her life vacationing all over and taking advantage of her freedom. I don’t think she’d be too thrilled knowing her brother plans to destroy all he’s accomplished and he’s not exactly her favorite person to be around. She’s completely done with Chuck’s crap. He’s alienated her to the point where she wants to be as far from him as humanly possibly. 

And if she does still view Dean in a favorable light after what he’d done for her, that could be what persuades Amara into helping TFW. Michael would have to be an absolute moron to attempt an attack (if he decided to make them his enemies) if Sam and Dean manage to get the Darkness on their side. Its canon that she’s far more powerful than the archangels which is why it took all of them combined to lock her away. That said I don’t think Michael’s character is being set up as a villain. We already had AU Michael, been there done that. Nor do I see him and Amara at odds specifically because of their deteriorating ties to Chuck. Could their reunion be pretty heated and violent? Possibly. Its hard to say where they’ll stand with each other when they cross paths, there’s some bad blood between them for sure so they’ve got some family issues to sort through. But as of right now, what’s happening is bigger than both of them and their angst. Ironically Michael and Amara got more in common with each other than they realize. 

Both of them were abandoned, lied to and used by Chuck on top of being imprisoned for many years. And they actually care about the world they're currently inhabiting which Chuck wants to end. That’s got to be worth more to them than some old discrepancies in the past. Enough for them to want to put aside their differences and work together to stop Chuck. Imagine how awesome this storyline would be, former enemy family members coming together because of a common threat they’re all facing. Michael and Amara along side TFW, that’s a pretty badass team. I WANT THIS. I want to see Michael get to be a good guy. Become an ally and the honorable hero he was meant to be. Saving humanity whom he now cares about with his human best friend. We deserve to see this version of Michael come into fruition before the show ends. 

Anyway those are my thoughts on the Michael/Adam situation. I hope it comes true or most of it anyway. I know Supernatural is building up for a big finish. It would be nice if they didn’t waste two characters we haven't seen for ten years. I want to believe that they have plans for Michael and Adam that don’t include killing them off for shock value and/or villainizing them at the last second. They deserve better than that. 15x08 was a perfect example of how to utilize and develop these characters into the plot. They have so much potential and story left to tell. Lets hope the writers know what they’re doing.

#adam milligan #Jack Kline #supernatural #Archangel Michael #The Winchesters #Castiel #SPN #Amara the darkness #aichael #Michael x Jack #adam x michael #dean winchester #chuck god #supernatural season 15 #spn meta #dean x amara #chuck x amara #chuck x michael #team free will #team free will 2.0 #michael #spn 15 #spn season 15

[curiosity-killed]

TGCF headcanons you say? 👀👀👀

haha i mean these are mostly very dumb and specific but since you asked, here are some random headcanons/elements of canon that should not matter as much as they do when selecting fic And Yet

Hua Cheng doesn’t know his birthday. I just don’t think his family was exactly celebrating anything about him or his birth tbh!! and then it’s been 800 years. I don’t think he knows what his birthday is 

I also don’t think it matters much to him, but in the same way that Xie Lian forgetting his own bday would upset Hua Cheng, Hua Cheng not knowing his bday would Legit upset Xie Lian (mostly bc like...his beloved’s childhood was Super Fucked Up)

Beefy Xie Lian. i mean. come on. the bab is a short lil brick shithouse. let him be buff!!

i refuse to believe hua cheng would pressure xie lian into sex or feel like...resentful for xie lian not wanting to do it/being hesitant. this dude has waited 800 years and was 100% ready for xie lian to reject him when his feelings were revealed. 

also as much as i lean away from the whole idol worship thing post-canon, that’s definitely a part of their dynamic even now that they’re p much equals and for a long time, chastity was part of xl’s whole image so like. yeah. don’t think hua cheng’s going to be like “but i’ve waited so long i can’t believe dianxia’s not letting me fuck him”

tying into that, I have...Complicated™ feelings about hua cheng’s feelings towards Xie Lian which make me lean towards a much less explicit version of those 800 years, I guess? like the thought of someone obsessing over you and over sex with you for 800 years is literally a horror story, so i wind up somewhere in the realm of “yes hua cheng was in love with xie lian all that time but also didn’t expect anything out of it” so much as like he wanted like, the chance to meet him again and to be strong enough to protect him this time

that’s not super coherent, sorry, but i’m still working out my Thoughts™ which is why lol

yes, i know hc refers to xl as ‘beloved’ way before this but guess what!! my headcanons, my rules

this might actually be an entirely separate post. or i could just write the hualian fic i’ve been turning over in my head all day

also on that line, i think wu ming’s impact on xie lian is glossed over a lot?? like book 4 has a lot going on obv, but i firmly believe the “just one person was enough” is embodied by wu ming and i genuinely don’t believe xl ever forgot about him in all those years

I also, personally, don’t think he thought there was any chance wu ming wasn’t destroyed/dissipated so i think he carried the memory as a way of mourning

also think that some of his stubborn goodnaturedness is a little bit atonement for how badly he failed wu ming’s faith in him? like i think it’s larger than that but i do think that’s part of it

Along with the earlier sex talk: Ace!Xie Lian Is Good, Actually

i mean, everyone can be ace if you just believe in yourself (and believe me, I do) but xie lian and hua cheng are both imo really easy to hc as ace and i really like it even if i’m also chill with porny fics

they deserve every type of intimacy and devotion that they choose to share, basically!! 

Mu Qing Has Rights

okay i know i’m biased bc i saw Fu Yao’s manhua design and was like “Oh that one is Mine Now” but I feel like both canon and fandom tend to kind of....ignore the fact that xl and feng xin, to an extent, came from a much more privileged background that led to arrogance and a certain blindness to the realities of the world

yeah the way mq handled things in canon was shitty but idk! i don’t think he deserves the condemnation he sometimes gets 

wow this really turned out longer than anyone wanted and i’m miffed that i couldn’t think of an 8th bc 7 is a terrible number but! there you have it: weird specific headcanons that don’t really matter but wildly influence my feelings about fic

EDIT: #8 — I really hate when fics have Hua Cheng refuse to call Xie Lian by name when it’s requested!! Look, Dianxia is great and I can totally appreciate it but they’re equals and when Xie Lian is like “please call me by my name (bc I am a Person, not just this lofty idol — which is associated with a shit ton of trauma and anxiety)” his husband/beloved refusing to do that is!! a dick move!!! 

#aljksdh sorry this turned into a giant nonsense pile!! #i...really do need to sort out my hua cheng feelings #bc that is the one that most affects fic #other than the pressuring into sex thing #bc that's #a big ol No for me #Anonymice #asked & answered

[lihikainanea]

Request?/idea, since you’re in that headspace: Bill coming home from a shoot to find tiger drinking her feelings away on the couch.

Anonymous said: I'm in my feelings 'cause I'm dealing with some crap & its making me crave angst. Like Bill & Tiger having a drunken night in & lately Tiger's been feeling insecure so she goes to town on the alcohol. It loosens her up & she starts blurting out her insecurities to Bill. Like how she doesn't understand why he wants to be with her, when he could be with supermodels & how she doesn't want to hold him back. Really silly stuff that her brain thinks about sometimes *sighs*

Edit: I got carried awayyyyy.

I feel so called out right now. Listen man, I think usually tiger has her head on straight, except sometimes...maybe if he’s been away for awhile and really the only thing she’s seen of him is the airbrushed and photoshopped pap pictures and professional shots from whatever it is he’s promoting and where--maybe then sometimes it gets hard for her. Bill is just...god, he’s so beautiful you know? Inside and out, and sometimes tiger gets a little self-conscious about it. About why her. To boot, she’s met all of his ex-girlfriends--Bill has dated models, models, actresses, people who are paid large sums of money to be that beautiful on a constant basis.

It scares the hell out of her.

But I think she’s getting better at reeling it in, right. Sometimes it’s hard when he’s away and all she sees are these perfect photos of him impeccably dressed,  but then she remembers that this is the same dude whose eyes cross a second before he sneezes--every time. This is the same dude who gags when he tries to eat spinach. The same dude who whacks his big ass forehead on everything, who seemingly can’t control his limbs in all of their spectacular length. He’s impeccably dressed until she finds out that the shirt he wore cost $8,000 and that watch on his wrist is a cool $200,000 and then she bursts out laughing because Jesus Christ, his entire world is fucking ridiculous.

But maybe these things start to rear their ugly head when she’s had a lot going on. Bill’s been home and tiger’s been around but she’s also been working on a big project. And she levelled with him when she started it--told him straight up she’d be pulling long hours and really running herself a little thin, but this project had huge repercussions for her and if she knocked it out of the park, then the rewards for her and for her job would be incredible. Bill gets it, he knows what that’s like, and he’s not about to punish her if she needs to do this. So instead he just tries to maintain whatever balance he can for her--ensuring that she takes small breaks if it’s feasible, having a good breakfast waiting for her if she has to work on the weekend, making sure that the food she’s eating and snacking on is healthy and nourishing even if she has to vacuum it down in a 45 second time frame and then get back to work. And when she’s nearly in tears from exhaustion and the hustle of it all, he’s always waiting with a warm cuddle and some encouraging words to get her through.

But tiger also kind of...overdoes it. A lot. And has trouble really dealing with things. So maybe towards the end of the project, Bill comes home one night and she’s pretty tipsy on his couch--which is fine. She had a small win at work, she told him, and wanted to celebrate buuuuut whoops her hand slipped and she just kept pouring glasses. Bill doesn’t think much of it, she’s been working so hard. So he gives her a messy smooch, joins her for a drink, then hauls her into the shower with him for some play time before bed.

Tiger has a pretty hard time getting herself out of bed the next day.

And maybe that night or the next night, Bill is prepping dinner when tiger stumbles home--literally stumbles. She had happy hour drinks with a few colleagues on the project after work, but drinks turned into shots and sorry bud, she overdid it. Bill frowns a little--I mean, it’s Tuesday--but lets it go. He gets her changed into his shirt, tries to get her to eat a little something, but she basically falls asleep at the table.

And as the week goes on it kind of just gets worse. Because tiger is stressed out, she’s working herself thin, and when that happens--all kinds of crazy ideas creep into her brain. And maybe it’s triggered by one of her idiot colleagues, who said something to her over drinks. Sometimes about how handsome her date to the Christmas party was, and then another colleague pipes up that yeah that dude is famous--and then it becomes a whole thing. She’s grilled on how she met him, what he’s like, what they’re uh...doing. Like, are they together? No? Oh, that makes sense. Hey didn’t he date a lingerie model last year?

And then the pictures are pulled up. Of him and his ex-girlfriends.  Lots of them.

Maybe, to her credit, tiger didn’t realize how much it bothered her. How much she archived that in the torment section of her brain, just to be recalled endlessly for the days after. But come Friday--homegirl is basically a fucking mess. Because she’s realizing everything Bill is doing for her--cooking her good meals, offering up lots of back and tummy rubs and head scritchies, always ready with a bear hug, picking up things for around the apartment she always forgets, doing her groceries for her, running all kinds of menial errands that seem like nothing but always take her so much time on the weekend. And it’s all just been...a lot. Her colleagues’ words have been on her mind all week, the stress of the project is making her crack, and come Friday she’s just a mess. So maybe Bill insists on a quiet night in--if she wants to get drunk she can do it plunked on his lap on the couch.

And she does. But then it kind of just....explodes. And I’ll bet it happens right as Bill reaches and squeezes her tummy a bit, gives her a few pats there on her soft parts. It’s something he loves to do and something that normally gets her purring but this time it just kind of shuts her down.

“Don’t,” she snaps, and pushes his hand away. He’s a little taken aback by it because she usually loves when he does that.

“Okay,” he acquiesces, “Sorry, kid. You usually like when I do that.”

“Yeah well did your lingerie model girlfriend like it too?” she mutters under her breath.

“What?” his brow furrows in confusion.

“Your lingerie model girlfriend, Bill,” she isn’t yelling, but her tone is definitely escalating, “Remember her, buddy? In all of her perfectly proportionate glory?”

“Tiger, what are you--”

But she’s almost hysterical now, that quickly, and it’s this disastrous mix of exhaustion, stress, anxiety, self-loathing, anger--god, everything explosive about her is all coming to a head.

“Why, Bill?” she demands, “I guess that’s what everybody wants to know, right? Why me, after her? Why me, after all of them? The actress--the few actresses, actually. The model. The other model. The pro volleyball player.”

She’s staring at him accusingly, hopping up from his lap and pacing the living room. She has her drink in hand, and it’s sloshing messily over the rim of her glass. Bill wants to interrupt her, ask her what the fuck she’s going on about, but in actuality he’s kind of just...stunned into silence.

“Everybody at work is asking me how, asking me why. Why me. With someone like you. Because they didn’t have this, did they?” she lifts her shirt, pokes at the squishy part of her stomach, “They didn’t have boring 9-5 office jobs. They didn’t look like death in the mornings, or hungover, or tired or any of that. They didn’t have 17 different kinds of zit creams in their bathroom, did they? I’ll bet they certainly didn’t have pants they wore only one week a month because they bloated like a puffer fish and nothing else fit. You said it yourself about one of them--god the fuck was her name?”

She stops her rant, finishes half of her glass in one gigantic gulp. Bill’s eyes are huge, scared, and he’s motionless on the couch.

“I can’t remember her fucking name,” tiger waves passively, “But golden pussy? Does that ring a bell?”

Tiger drinks the rest of her wine in another giant gulp, and actually throws the glass against the wall. It shatters and Bill winces except now...now he’s mad. They’ve had this conversation before, and he’s not about to have it again. No fucking way. He can handle her moods, he knows he’s a lot to deal with, he gets that she can be a little on edge about it--but this? Hearing her put herself down so much, think she’s unworthy of him? That makes him angry. With her. Because how dare she.

The glass shatters, and tiger continues her tirade--but Bill stands.

“I didn’t see you for fucking months, Bill,” she says, “All because of this girl and what you called the best pussy you’ve ever had. Why don’t you find her again--her and her entire wardrobe of tiny little negligees, and go a few rounds with her instead. She’s more your type, no?”

And she’s just about to lace into him again--and it’s not HIM she’s mad at, she’s just mad at everything and all of what he embodies in her life--but she doesn’t have a chance. Because Bill is in front of her, and in a flash her back is slammed to the wall and her jaw is squeezed in his hand, his knee pinned between her legs.

“Enough,” he growls, “Enough, tiger.”

It breaks her a little bit--just a tad, but enough that he can get through. She swallows the lump in her throat, the one that was making her voice all shrill and shrieky, she sniffles and tries to keep the tears at bay.

“Look at me.”

“No,” she chokes, but he grabs her chin and roughly tilts it up, “Bill, no.”

But it’s too late, he has a hold of her and his eyes--furious and wide--are burning a hole through hers.

“I’m not doing this with you again,” he seethes, “Tiger, if I wanted her--or anyone else--I’d go out and get her.”

Tiger sniffles, chokes a little, but Bill doesn’t move.

“I want to throw you over my knee and spank your ass raw for this kid, and I would if I thought you were in the right mind,” he threatens through gritted teeth, “But you’re clearly insane. Fucking insane.”

“It’s you,” he jostles her chin a little and she whines, “Get it through your thick fucking skull kid, it’s you.”

And then he lets go--pulls away so suddenly that she crumples to the floor. He’s madder than hell--mad that she still thinks this, still thinks so little of him at the same time, mad that she’s drowning everything she’s feeling in alcohol. She knows better. On all accounts, she knows better. So he takes a step back, watches as she just gives at the knees and oozes to the floor. He takes a deep breath, runs his hand through his hair, walks a few steps to the bar cart. He pulls a glass from it, pouring out a thumb of scotch and knocking it back in one go. He takes a steadying breath in--the sound of her soft whimpers are breaking his heart, but god, she needs to learn. Needs to learn that he’s hers, in every single sense. That he couldn’t be with anyone else if he tried. That it’s her--everything, all of it, is hers. He's hers.

He exhales deeply, walks back and crouches in front of her. Then he does the only thing he can think of--he lurches forward and kisses her. Kisses the hell of out of her. Knocks her head back into the wall with the force of it as he grabs her face, settles his knees between her legs. And he doesn’t ease off when he feels her start to pull back, instead just tightening his hold on her and not letting her get away. She’s crying now, full on tears wetting his hands, and he just doesn’t give a shit. She needs to know. Needs to believe. But the more he kisses her, the more he’s kind of melting--she’s had a rough go of it, he knows that. And every time anything gets rough for her, she kind of faults to this belief that he just...doesn’t want her. That he shouldn’t want her. And he tries to understand, to meet her stress and anxiety with compassion--but sometimes, it’s a lot for him too.

He breaks apart from her finally, out of breath. His cheeks are red, his eyes on fire, and she’s just watching him carefully. He sighs, kneeling down further to kiss granny’s locket around her neck, then to lay his lips firmly on hers again.

“It’s you, tiger,” he whispers, “I don’t know what else I can do to make you believe me. But it’s you.”

She sniffles, nods a little.

“I know you’ve had a rough week. I know you’re tired, stressed, anxious,” he continues, “But god help me, I don’t ever want to hear you say any of that shit ever again. Clear?”

She nods lightly, meeting his eyes shyly.

“Swear it,” he says.

“I swear,” she mumbles.

He picks the locket up from her neck, holding it to her lips. She kisses it briefly, and he leans in to do the same after.

“Bill,” she mumbles, “I’m sor--”

He cuts her off with a gentle hand over her mouth.

“Enough for tonight, kid,” he sighs, “Just enough. Let’s go eat.”

#sub tiger #bff!bill #bill skarsgard drabble #bill skarsgard #granny

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 239: We’re Fucked

Previously on BnHA: Actually it’s been two weeks, so I barely even remember. Let me just... take another... Ah, right. So Tomura brought it up a notch to Goth Level x20 and destroyed all of his Surplus Hands in a fit of independence, and Re-Destro was like “!!!” and then turned himself into a giant robot as a counter-flex. Meanwhile Gigantomachia continued to smash shit and also defeated Orange Leaf because lord knows Dabi was never actually going to get around to it. Compress called Ujiko and was all “hey can you please stop your guy because I’m afraid he’s going to smash us once he’s done smashing everything else,” but Ujiko was all, “listen if Shigaraki dies then he dies!!” But I’m pretty sure Shigaraki isn’t actually going to die. Re-Destro, though? He might be dead. Guess we’ll find out.

Today on BnHA: Nope, Re-Destro isn’t dead. So it goes like this: Tomura, who is now incredibly hot by the way, annihilates the entire fucking town leaving only bits of rubble, basically. Everyone is all, “LOOK AT THIS ARE YOU FUCKING SEEING THIS HOLY SHIT” and basically just watching in awe. Re-Destro chops off his own fucking feet so as not to be disintegrated himself, something which everyone is way too fucking calm about tbh. And in the aftermath Tomura stands there all “lol I won,” and RD is like, “yeah you sure did,” and I was expecting Tomura to be all “well anyways, [kill]” but instead RD is like, “HERE’S THE KEYS TO YOUR NEW ARMY” and Tomura is “HEY COOL” and SOMEHOW THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER AND WORSE ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Heh. Anyways where’s that comic with the dog in the house that’s on fire. That about sums it all up.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, but aside from that there are no changes, and even that was a rush job since I was late in reading the chapter this week. I basically have not edited this at all lulz.)

sounds like someone is about to get the official Gigantomachia Seal of Approval at long last! sure did take this boy a while to get accredited, but he kept at it! there’s a lesson there, folks. if at first you don’t succeed, stop sleeping for two months and then power-hallucinate your way to success

so we’re opening with Hanabata and his van! I sure hope this mofo is about to die, because mofos need to start dying already. I’ve loved this arc and we’ve had some really great times, but I never did have much patience for this particular point of any given arc. side villains need to know when to die. respect for Kizuki, at least she had the right idea

on the other hand we are being gifted with some pretty fun panels, such as this

wah, his shoes. heh

oh my god

did he slam into the van when it hit the brakes to avoid Tomura’s Destruction Radius. ouch

so he’s narrating about how some crazy shit is going down over where Tomura is. and that “our story was at a standstill, but now...”

listen, that “but now” had better mean that you’re about to de-standstill and wrap things up

-- holy shit

I’m not -- Tomura, what!?! you’re hot?! is it just me?? am I fucking losing it?? what the fuck. can you seriously just cut off anyone’s fingers and they’ll magically grow 40x hotter!? somebody count Aizawa’s fingers for me

shit. this isn’t even my normal aesthetic! Tomura you’re crossing genre barriers here. I can’t speak for everyone, but I deeply suspect that you’re appealing very widely right now

the moral of this story is, eyeliner. that’s it. that’s the moral

in other news, Twice shouting “hang in there, Giran!” speaks for all of us, I think, and he had better get a medal for being VIP of this fucking arc. and Giran, it’s good to get some exercise

so who is this monologuing now?

is this a flashback to All for One? or RD getting all philosophical as the countdown inches ever closer to his doom?

like, this could seriously go either way here. huh. full disclosure, I’m doing my best to speedread here since this recap is late, so I’m not taking much time to think real deeply or try and process every little thing this week

now RD is going “guh!” and failing to get with the times

yeah dude, we established this already. Tomura is doing a lot of things he shouldn’t fucking be able to do. because he’s awakening. you’re the one who fucking said it just last chapter. quit being so damn shocked

lol now he’s thinking “if I can just get out of range...” ha, good luck. does he even have a fucking range now

omfg. you guys

being on the villains’ team for an arc is so much fun. so nice to be able to shamelessly appreciate the senseless destruction

okay, not quite as hot now. but from the right angle, though. damn

anyways. he cray. we get it lol

now he’s shouting “I’ll break you to pieces!” all gleefully and, like. destroying the entire town, it looks like. possibly

okay but seriously I think he really is. he really fucking is, you guys

I’m simultaneously grinning at how badass it is and thinking in the back of my mind about how our actual heroes are so!! fucked!! once this arc is over and done with sob

like, hey Tomura, what was your overall goal again? destroy the entire world? oh, yes, right. and what exactly is stopping you, again? literally nothing but a handful of sixteen-year-old heroes in training? whom I’m deeply attached to? yes, that’s surely going to end well

sobbbbbbbb

we’re so. goddamn. fucked

also, when did RD transform back into his little guy form? why do I suddenly almost feel sorry for him. well maybe not sorry so much as I feel pity. though once again, weekly reminder that he invited them himself, and they probably would never have clashed had he not decided to start shit for absolutely no fucking reason

let this be a lesson to all other villains! if you’re still thinking the League is an easy mark now that AFO is ~out of the picture~, let Overhaul and Re-Destro serve as examples of what happens when you underestimate the new boy in charge

and when I think of it that way, it makes me want to warn Tomura not to get too cocky and make the same fucking mistake. AFO and All Might may not have much in common, but one thing they do share is a knack for choosing worthy successors. though I still think that in AFO’s case, “placeholder” would be a more accurate word

anyway so where were we. -- oh yes

I wonder how many pages do we need of Tomura cheerfully decimating shit and RD watching in terror. this is a manga-only complaint though, just to be clear. in the anime? this shit is going to be fucking amazing. Tomura cackling maniacally while the world crumbles to pieces around him. metal af

by the way I love how RD has gone pants-only now that he’s back in his Bruce Banner form

I really shouldn’t be complaining that this chapter is going by so quickly, given that I’m trying to race through it, but literally the next two pages are just more of the same shit

town: destroyed. RD status: defeated and pants-only. plots advanced in the last three pages: none that I can actually see

oh shit. wait

what the -- holy --

okay lol. nevermind. here I thought that was Tomura’s foot on the previous page. and I didn’t notice RD’s feet had been chopped off on account of I thought the BLOODY STUMPS OF HIS FEET were his shoes, I guess. despite the manga establishing multiple times that he was only wearing pants. I only pointed it out specifically twice myself. wowwww

just. I’m running on four hours’ sleep here but feeling pretty all right considering, so I thought I was doing pretty good, but I GUESS NOT lol. one of these days I’ll learn that if a giant two-page spread appears to be a waste, it’s far more likely that I’ve just completely failed to see some very obvious thing of critical importance

anyways. ohhhhh yesssss

[raises hand] me! I know!! it was him calling you up out of the blue and being all “hey come here I want to start a whole battle”!!

heeeeeeeh

god I’m living for this. the brief swell of pity is gone as quickly as it arose lol. finish him off boiiiii

OH FOR FUCK’S --

DID YOU GUYS SOMEHOW FAIL TO GET THE MEMO. DID THE ENTIRE TOWN CRUMBLING APART NOT CLUE YOU IN THAT IT WAS TIME TO HEAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION

jesus. I would be impressed by their loyalty, except that none of them have given a fuck about the 100,000 hapless redshirts who’ve died fighting for them, so it seems pretty damn hypocritical for them to care so much about this one fucking guy. especially when his stupid plan singlehandedly destroyed everything your organization has spent their entire lives working for. in, like, an hour

anyway, Tomura is back to being hot again guys

motherfucker is fully aware of just how much everything is lining up his way right now. finally his childlike self-assuredness actually has some sort of basis in fact. you are exactly as badass as you think you are, sir. must be nice. you enjoy this; you deserve some nice things just this once before everything goes to shit again after this arc

holy shit, even Hanabata’s quirk is failing in the wake of that see-you-in-hell grin

I’m telling you dude, you should have been driving the other way. not that there’s any point now. enjoy your final seconds on this earth

LOL

“meaningless casualties” lmao that is the most pompous variation on “DON’T YOU GET IT, WE’RE ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE” I’ve ever heard

wow, so wait, is RD trying to beg for their lives now??

that’s a surprisingly classy move. unfortunately I’m fairly sure Tomura is going to show you exactly as much mercy as you were prepared to show him just a few minutes earlier. well maybe a little more mercy, since you were going to take your sweet time and he’ll probably end things quickly in comparison

anyway so now RD is having an internal dialogue with his dead great-grandpa about how Tomura turned out to be the living embodiment of everything they were fighting for

and actually, he’s not wrong when you think about it. which just goes to show you how deeply flawed their philosophy really was. there’s a hugely important distinction between “freedom to be who you are” and “freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, including hurting and oppressing others”

anyway, so in the end he didn’t ask for mercy. “I picked a fight with you and lost. if you mean to kill me, then get it over with.” well I guess that is still classy in its own way though

also, Machia is staring at Tomura and seeing this

which is an awesome visual, and I love that Horikoshi went with that instead of more internal monologuing. nothing else even needs to be said

-- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT

SDFSLDKJFLJS HOLY SHIT

yooooooooooo. oh shit

I did not see that coming. should have, probably. there was a lot of buildup to it in hindsight. Tomura and the gang started out the arc flat-out broke, and now at the end of things they acquire a company with precisely the resources they need. manpower, cash, and technological innovations. oh shit. oh shit

oh my god the look on Ujiko’s face. this worked out better than he ever could have hoped

pausing it here because I did in fact laugh and I love it. [pats]

this boy has a 5/5 intelligence score in the character databook. he’s a genius. nothing gets past him. his reflexes are too fast

aaaaaand that’s the end of the chapter. well, then. to reiterate: we are well and truly fucked y’all

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 239 #shigaraki tomura #re-destro #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #well that's just great #now he has an army *and* a hulk #on the bright side #having seen what this army is capable of #I don't think we need to worry too much about that particular new asset

[automatic-external-defibrillator]

My Best Friend, the Demon 1/4

Based off of this post. Also I'm really sorry if you didn't want this. (It's finished! Part 2, part 3, and Part 4 are out) THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE SHYAN.

“But sir!” a small man cried, exasperated.

“No buts! Convince the dead to come back, or be banished!” the larger of the two commanded. The smaller man sighed dejectedly.

    “Yes, Satan.” He bowed, leaving soon after. Once he left the castle gates, he was immediately met by another man.

    “How’d it go, Ryan?” the man asked. “What was the summons about?”

    The other, Ryan, turned to him, sighing. “I have to go to the surface, convince some wayward spirits to come to hell. Same shit Brent went to do,” Ryan explained. “Not having horns or a tail is going to throw me off, dude.” Upon mentioning these, he anxiously ran a clawed hand over his smoothed-back-looking horns while his spade-shaped tail curled loosely to the front.

    His friend scoffed. “Better than me. Other demons see my tail shape and refuse to even look at me. I can’t even get a job around here!”

    Ryan gave him a sympathetic look. “You know there are crescent communities. You’ve no reason to stay here while I’m gone.”

    “Yeah, I guess it’ll be better for me. Stay safe, Ryan.” His friend left and Ryan headed to the surface to begin.

~~~

    It’d been a month since Ryan came to the surface. In that time, he managed to land a job at a place called Buzzfeed, as per his friend Brent’s idea. About two weeks into said new job, he’d had the idea for a thing he called “Unsolved”.

Brent had agreed to do it with him, as long as they did a segment on crimes. Brent was always fascinated with the cimes humans committed. They pitched the idea and they’d filmed about 8 episodes of the crime segment, “True Crime”. Today they were filming the first episode of the “Supernatural” segment, the topic being “the Men in Black”.

It was also Brent’s last day on the surface, meaning if Ryan didn’t find someone to film with, Unsolved would be over before it even began. Ryan sighed as he compiled his notes, still not entirely used to not having claws. Brent pulled him aside.

“I found someone to take my place,” Brent started. “His name is Shane Madej. He said he’d do it because he wants to, and I quote, ‘fuck with the human embodiment of sunshine’.”

Ryan smiled, a look of disbelief gracing his features before he burst into a fit of laughter, Brent joining in soon after. “You didn’t tell him, though, did you?” Ryan asked through chortles.

“No, no. I’d never risk that secret getting out. Satan’d have our heads,” Brent chuckled. “I just laughed and said okay.”

Calming down, the two went to film the episode, Ryan feeling more relieved than before.

~~~

The next morning, Shane was pulled from his thoughts by the incessant beeping of his alarm clock. Unfurling one of his long arms, he smacked it, shutting it off. “How the hell do humans do this every single day, and why am I subjecting myself to it?” he grumbled to no one.

He all but rolled out of bed, stretched, and got dressed in his signature button-up shirt and pair of jeans. He was taking over for a demon co-worker of his who had returned to hell today. He’d asked him about a week before he was to leave, and Shane said he’d think about it. To help him make his decision, he watched what was available of this “Unsolved” show, and decided he’d fuck with this overly positive son of a bitch.

He’d heard from Brent that Unsolved was planning to start a whole “are ghosts real” bit and also that Ryan, his co host, was an avid believer in the paranormal. Thusly, Shane decided to play the unrelenting skeptic.

Shane went to work, and when he got there, he headed up to where his new desk would be, and to meet the poor, unfortunate soul he’d be working with. Ryan was already there when he arrived, too chipper for Shane. Especially at 8 AM. He wanted to ground pound the guy, and it wasn’t like he couldn’t. This guy was human and no match for Shane’s demonic strength.

“Ah, you must be Shane! I’m Ryan Bergara,” Ryan introduced, standing to shake his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Shane managed, sitting down with a coffee. The room fell into an awkwardly tense silence, as they were the only two there.

“So, uh,” Ryan started, trying to start a conversation, “what caused you to agree to doing Unsolved?” Shane could hear him tapping his knees, anxiously awaiting a response.

“Brent asked me to about a week ago. Poor guy, what happened to him,” Shane answered, faking a sigh when he said the last part.

“You make it sound like he died. He just moved to help with his family,” Ryan chuckled. Shane sipped his coffee. Is that what his cover story is? he wondered.

“You heard what happened to his mom though, right?” Shane asked, deciding to start the fuckery now, and judging by Ryan’s confused look, it was working.

“No?” Ryan questioned, drawing it out as if to say “go on”.

“Yeah, she has a brain tumor. That’s we he moved,” Shane “explained”. Ryan, still looking confused, just slowly nodded and turned to do something on his phone. Shane took this opportunity to text Brent.

Shane: Man, this guy is fun to mess with.

Brent: Don’t mess him up too bad though

Brent: He’s still a good friend of mine

Shane: Is he always this chipper at 8 am?

Shane: Because if he is, we’re gonna have some problems.

Brent: No, it’s only when he’s excited or anxious about something

Shane let out a small laugh at that. “Poor little anxious baby,” he mumbled to himself with a small smile.

“What was that?” Ryan inquired. Shit. Shane forgot where he was for a moment.

“Nothing of concern to you, Bergara,” he snarked. Ryan looked slightly taken aback. His brown eyes seemed to turn black for a second, but when Shane did a double-take, his eyes were still brown. Did someone accidentally inject him with heroin? He figured it wasn’t that, as a lot more would be wrong than just his new co-worker’s eyes, so he chalked it up to paranoia and continued on with life. “So, what exactly do you do on this show?”

“Oh, uh, basically I research topics and you just kinda react to them. Although, I did get approval to go on location for the episode after today’s filming session,” Ryan explained, perking up slightly.

“What’s today’s topic, then?” Shane asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, if I told you, how would you give a genuine reaction on camera?” Ryan bantered back. “Fake surprise?”

Shane gave him a look that said “fair enough” and shrugged. “You got me there, Mr. Tanned Man.”

Ryan looked at Shane for a moment before bursting into laughter. “Mr.一 Mr. Tanned Man!” He wheezed. “That’s good. That was一that was good.” Ryan wiped a fake tear from his eye.

    Shane sat there smirking at the man. He had to protect this bright ray of sunshine. He could see why Brent took a liking to him. He was a genuine person with a great laugh. Damn, he liked that laugh. It reminded him of a warm summer’s evening. He vowed to be the funniest bastard alive so he could hear that laugh more often.

    A voice pulled him from his thoughts. “-ane? Shane?” Ryan was waving his hand in front of his face. “Are you listening?” Shit, he was staring.

    “Yeah, sorry. Lost in thought there for a bit,” Shane blinked. “What were you saying?”

    “I was saying that Mark is here. The cameraman?” Ryan said that like he was trying to jog his memory. “We can start filming now. You can help edit while I research the next topic.”

    Shane nodded. “Right, yeah.” As they got up to go film, Shane realized he got himself in some deep shit.

~~~

    Hiding being a demon just got a lot harder.

    Ryan and Shane were at a church about to meet with a certified exorcist to talk about ghosts and other spirits that might be roaming around. Ryan had done the introduction outside and now they were headed into the chapel to talk with a man named Father Thomas.

    Ryan was panicking, as he’d never been in a church before. He’d been on the surface for a month, give or take a week. Shane eyed him quizzically, and Ryan knew he had to calm down as to not raise suspicions.

    “What’s wrong there, buddy? Never been to a church before?” Shane asked jokingly.

    “Yeah,” Ryan answered.

    “Yeah you have or yeah you haven’t?” Shane questioned, raising an eyebrow at the shorter man.

    “Yeah I haven’t,” Ryan clarified. Shane stopped while Ryan continued walking.

    “Never?” he asked, wide-eyed. Ryan hesitated a moment before nodding.

    “I don’t think一” Ryan cut himself off before he finished his sentence, almost revealing his true nature. “I don’t think my family was all that religious.”

    “Do you not remember them or something?” Shane asked, catching up to Ryan in two strides thanks to his long legs.

    “Or something,” Ryan muttered. Shane, catching on that Ryan didn’t want to talk about it, dropped the subject.

    The two walked into the sanctuary silently, and sat in a pew to talk with Father Thomas.

    After that mess was over, the two headed down to the Winchester House. Once at the maze of hallways, stairs to the ceiling, and doors to death, the two got to ghost hunting. Ryan gave a synopsis of the place and they soon made their way to the basement, the alleged most haunted place of the house.

    Ryan was quick to search for any lost spirits of the house to convince, hoping to fill his quota quickly and return home, much like Brent had. Fortunately, Shane had the idea to split up first.

    “Alone, how about? I’ll go first,” Shane suggested. Ryan nodded, gladly letting him go first, as he was absolutely terrified of the place. Ghosts had nothing to lose, so they didn’t care if they hurt someone. Soon, Shane’s time alone ended, and Ryan was next.

    Ryan set off to find some spirits. For the first five minutes, Ryan didn’t find anyone, but he managed to find a woman in Victorian era clothes at around minute seven. She seemed scared of him, turning to leave before Ryan called softly to her.

    “I just want to talk,” Ryan stated, eyes turning black. “I’m here to request that you go to hell. I have my orders, and I will not leave until you do.”

    The woman, still looking frightened, nodded, warily looking around before fading from sight. That was easier than I expected. Ryan thought to himself. The interaction lasted for about a minute, so Ryan still had two minutes to see if there were others.

    Unfortunately, Ryan didn’t find anyone other than the woman, so he went back to the group consisting of Shane and Mark.

    “How’d it go, Bergara?” Shane asked, bemused at the smaller man’s terror before heading down. “See any ghosts?” Shane used a weird version of Goofy’s voice when he said ghosts.

    “Nope, but we still have two more places after this,” Ryan countered, cockier than he’d been the rest of their time here. Shane looked at him, the ghost of a smile on his lips as he raised his eyebrows.

    “Where to next then, buckaroo?” Shane asked as they exited.

    “Oh jeez, next we’re headed to Mexico to view the Island of the Dolls,” Ryan stated.

    “Spooky,” Shane commented, “but neither of us speak Spanish.”

    “We’re meeting up with someone from Buzzfeed Mexico,” Ryan told him. They’d reached the car and packed everything, their next location being a hotel until their flight to Mexico the next day.

#tw swearing #bfu fic #bfu supernatural #bfu true crime #buzzfeed ryan #buzzfeed supernatural #buzzfeed shane #buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeed true crime #demon!shane #demon shane #demon ryan #demon!ryan #long post #like a very long post

[kae-karo]

Hi Katie! I just want you to know that I want your analysis of this new sims video more than anything and I'll just patiently wait for it... Have a nice day!

hi dear!! new sims vid, did u mean dnp simulator?

dorks spending the first ten seconds dancing in fake snow 

why virtual friends???? ??

my daddies gave to me y’all,,,,,,there’s knowing your branding and then there’s acting on that knowledge and i think this may have been one time where acting on your knowledge maybe was not a good call like ily and u do u and all but

i love phil loving his branding it’s cute also shoutout to @dnpscloset​ thanks for finding it (x) bc i want one now if anyone needs a last minute xmas idea i’m lookin at u mom u always wait til the last minute

same dan, same

‘we all have new faces and new lives and everything’s changed, this is gonna be hella dramatic’ *inhale* *exhale*

‘when u imagine the howlter family’ god they’re such adorable n sentimental nerds i love them

phil’s actual default is bein a leany boye

dnp arguing about what ‘desperate’ actually is as if the entirety of their first year after meeting they weren’t talking as often as they could five hour skype calls amirite

get away from me stalker lmao bold of u to say that danny

phil sweetie i love you with my entire heart he’s so so excited abt the virtual snow i love him

tiny zoom in jumpcut at 2:08 overlapping audio interesting

a mood and a half

phil immediately going ‘yeahhhhh thin walls family hearing things they gotta get out’ abt dab and evan like m8 we get it all u think abt is sex we get it god u and ur husband really are made for each other aren’t u (dnp = devan reference #1)

‘i presume evan is also jobless’ ‘i hope so!’ phil is it really,,,,,,smth to be excited about,,,,,,,

dan’s doin a lot of the hand phone lately u cute boy

we should have a redbull what is wrong with them phil can barely handle having too much sugar y’all thought it was a good idea to have a redbull also we should have a redbull they share literally everything which tbh is probs for the best lbr phil on a whole can of redbull hmmmmm yes ik it’s v possible and in fact probable that phil had his own can let me live

‘it’s a sensible lightweight jacket’ in the fucking snow wow dan u really did just set urself up for phil to drag u about not dressing for the weather

dan’s fucking laugh at 4:39 gives me life literally there is no purer and more adorable sound like that’s up there with kittens purring

‘i think he’s gonna be a bit of a diva in this relationship’ did you mean: dan howell (dnp = devan reference #2)

[slight bit of ankle is showing] dan: ‘and now you’re wearing shorts’

where’s the lie tho honestly that lil pause before he said mate

this clip will live in infamy bc i want this in every fucking phan edit for the rest of time like i can’t even think of the right out-of-context clip right now but anything that can be answered with phil saying ‘it’s dan’ i need it

mandatory phil covering his mouth and bein a cutie

yes destroy gender roles in the snow universe (although seriously dan’s ‘life is just about uncon-doing the horrible conditioning of all these gender stereotypes, phil’ is so important also i stan phil recognizing that before dan i think it’s really easy to forget that just bc up til recently he’s not been as expressive as dan of his opinions on how stupid gender roles are doesn’t mean he doesn’t have just as if not more progressive a mindset than dan)

‘it’s like a dan vs phil’ dnp = devan #3

dan has such a lovely singing voice i miss him singing

dude phil’s eyebrows are making a Solid appearance v expressive

i s2g this is a different moment from the one above he’s just so fricken cute???

‘but they’ve got each other’s backs, phil, just like dab and evan’ yeeeeaaaa i’m gonna go ahead and go with dnp = devan reference #4 here i think that’s fair

snow angels are the least fun thing to do and yet (x - it literally won’t let me put it in bc it’s a privated vid rip)

amazing they just started having a snowball fight how cute n domestic am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan hmmmm - dnp = devan #5

i get that infinity war was a meme but lads it’s time to let it go

‘and they’re called the howlters’ lmao as if u ain’t an honorary lester daniel (dnp = devan #6)

i’m living for phil’s excitement i mean if that’s what redbull does to him i’m here for it i guess?

hi they’re dumb this was cute

‘we don’t want to be those people, but for us personally, we very much found that you just need to just move into a big city of some kind and just jump into life with both feet’ this is not only adorable advice but also where dnp simulator comes into play aka we did this so uhh dab n evan should do it (dnp = devan #7) also dan speaking for them both singular pronouns are quaking

‘don’t trust that’ what on earth are u on abt phil what don’t u trust the fuckin desert or?????

scalyburg phil stop pls we know we get it dan’s a furry ur a scaly we got it

why does dan spend an entire 7 seconds (8:40) adjusting is he moving closer to phil? switching which leg he’s sat on? idk but it lead to me pausing at this moment which was a gift in and of itself

‘the deposit on that one, plus the weekly went would make us instantly broke, so that’s fun, us when we moved to london’ bih do u hear me crying

does dan remember phil’s first manchester apartment what kind of question is that phil have u met dan he probably remembers every bloody inch of that place i mean he did remember that there wasn’t a bedside table so

stop that

middle of the city, romance festival, geekcon, pretty views and cherry blossom trees sounds like dnp’s ideal location do u get why i’m calling it dnp simulator yet also dnp = devan #8

we don’t want to move next to the karaoke legends wow dan bold of u to say after belting helena at 2am real bold

phil having flashbacks to the apt they toured where they found out people died there

hi phil just looks so excited by everything

look i’m not saying anything except they’re managing to find a lot of similarities b.w their lives and what they’re doing for dab and evan okay like this apartment is great for people-watching? which is what phil did in his manchester apt?

context whomst? idk her

shoutout to the wardrobe

big bold life-changing steps

anon spitting truth up in this house (but like,,,,,my thoughts exactly lmao i was like they’re such introverts they would’ve avoided meeting their neighbors at any cost including apparently smacking into a locked door trying to avoid small talk phil we love u bab)

casually mentioning dan saying ‘we are dil-’ was he gonna say dil’s son, maybe but i like to remember the bloops of dan repeatedly calling dab dil so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

omg okay so from like. this point on, when dan’s like ‘here is my vision’, i’m absolutely getting queer eye vibes like amateur queer eye tho like two gay nerds trying to embody queer eye in their lives a bit oh wait

okay okay okay dan u said an ensuite bathroom and then failed to add a door to the bedroom do u understand how frustrating that is???????? do u understand how stressful it was for me to watch that whole damn vid and know that u forgot the door????

a space for hobbies what hobbies who has hobbies

they learned nothing from building their house before: phil should take the mouse away from dan immediately look at him he is such a sugar baby in this jfc

god dan is so cute get these idiots a penthouse apartment super high up so he can have his bath next to a window okay he deserves that in life

stop it they’re literally agreeing on almost every single thing god they literally share a single brain

amazing

leany boye

‘they are young adults moving into their first apartment, you don’t have art!’ okay first of all don’t even go there daniel second of all i’m sorry you’re the one arguing for spending literally all their money but u don’t want to get some art bc it’s unrealistic????

dan saying lovely

phil’s mr carpet

navy??? navy? when did they? why? 

i would get involved in a criminal plot to have that / i’m gonna throw you out of one

wow pro tips makin a comeback

phil is Losing Steam

oh my god okay so i was joking but literally phil is losing steam lmao 18:35 he says ‘ayy’ and it’s so tired-sounding

leany leany boyes

okay look ik dan’s going into ‘aww poor philly’ mode but also he knew that very quickly like honestly that’s not a Thing i would ever notice about someone tbh i’m not saying it’s like Significant but damn danny was really into phil to know that shiz man

the high-fashion gigantic rug of our dreams

okay look i can’t make this up phil literally leans away for a bit and then

hello daniel’s Curl

i stan phil getting excited over plants

dab and evan will be having a mario kart fest will they (dnp = devan #9)

mirroringggggggg

dude big mood god they’re so fond and full of memories 

honestly dnp made it that way like u cannot convince me they didn’t purposely decide to do that mmkay

‘see they are ready to have their romantic dinners. and then they can pretend they have another friend and it’s fine!’ am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan who knows :) (dnp = devan #10) 

cold in the middle what on earth i literally have no memory of that i mean it could just be my shit memory but jfc they just remember that stuff goddamn

scrunchy boyes also phil where’s ur arm at hm

like i’m not fuckin joking where is it

you can’t exist without a computer i mean

what is important in life / the internet

they don’t even have fucking doors and dan’s like ‘uhm they need a terrarium’ dan i’m stressed

oh my god i’m sorry phil is so done with this now it’s actually comical

hi they didn’t add a door for the ensuite

give dnp an interior design series honestly give them any series

phil reached for dan’s hand u cannot convince me otherwise

‘not my personal taste’ really,,,,,really

when dab n evan hug dan looks at the screen n phil looks at the camera things u didn’t need to know but now u do

lmao jumpscared by the kiss

‘i feel like i’ve never nailed anything more in my entire life’ hmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm hm

the fuck was dan’s ‘getting a job’ that’s his fnaf voice u stop that

doon doon doon doon

tongue

hi uhm what the Fuck was that jumpcut at 28:30 i hate Obvious Jumpcuts with a burning passion specifically bc of dnp

#dnp #dan and phil #dapg #phan #danandphilgames #sims #devan #vid analysis #anon #ask #kt