#do you think the moment i started identifying as a man that 20 years of lived experiences ive had just. didnt happen

[mothheart]

Idk what I was doing or what I had searched but I just remember this one time I saw someone say something like 'trans men need to stfu about jk Rowling bc she only harms trans women' like sorry what. How did we even get to this point when did a majority of people start assuming the t*rf queen only harms trans women. Why do so many people have this belief that trans men experience No Opression

#im not smart enough to articulate my thoughts but seeing people just call her a transmisogynist and pushing the belief that shes only #out to get trans women #i dont get it #what led people to believe trans men have it better or easier #do you think the moment i started identifying as a man that 20 years of lived experiences ive had just. didnt happen #i dont 'pass' im not on t i just wear mens clothes and have short hair. theres maybe 2 strangers i know who #actually refer to me as a man #im not going to write a novel about the experiences ive had but me identifying as a man does not magically erase the #things ive experienced #trans men who 'pass' dont magically have cishet male privilege #the moment t enters our bloodstream doesnt mean we're going to turn into an evil cruel opressor #do you understand how exhausting it is for such a large part of the community to shun us #even other trans men #i dont think ive gone a day without seeing a trans man talk about how horrible it is that he had to end up being a man #or a straight trans man feeding into the idea that men being attracted to women is inherently dirty or perverted #idk what im trying to get at here lol i just think its kind of insane. all of this. #i hope trans men who hate themselves for being men learn to love themselves but also i cant stand them #ask to tag #miles rambles

[charmandabear]

Ascendn't

Summary

I got mad when the game wouldn't let me hug him after the Cazador fight. So I fixed it. Plus a bit more steaminess in the graveyard scene. (Also, yes, I'm insufferable about this title.)

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Tav Rating: M Word Count: 4.5k Tags/Warnings: post-Cazador fight, Act 3 spoilers, blood kink, biting, hurt/comfort, fluff and angst, soft dom Astarion, enthusiastic consent

It's been a good 10 years since I've written fanfiction and probably about 20 since I've published any online. This boy got me down BAD. I made an AO3 account for this fucker. (Which you can find here.)

“I can do this, but I need your help.”

You’ve never heard him plead like this. He’s usually so cool and confident. He doesn’t need anyone if he can help it. But this is different. Standing over Cazador, dagger in hand, fear and desperation in his eyes.

“I’ll be free - truly, completely free. Isn’t that what you want?”

He knows how to make your heart melt and break all at the same time. Gods, yes, of course that’s what you want, more than anything in the world. For him to be free to live the life that he never got to have, the life that Cazador stole away from him. He was so young when he got turned. And if he doesn’t take this chance, then as soon as you manage to get these damned tadpoles out of your head he’ll be relegated to the shadows once again. You can’t do that to him.

But this isn’t it. This won’t give him the freedom he so desperately craves, no, deserves. It’s just another form of chains. You take a shaky breath and prepare yourself for his disapproving glare.

“I know you think this will set you free, but it won’t. This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador.”

Astarion’s face goes slack, the recognition of the cycle of abuse suddenly clear. His eyes on you soften as he murmurs, “You– you’re right. I can be better than him.” He turns a steely gaze back to Cazador.

“But I’m not above enjoying this.”

With a ferocity that you haven’t yet seen in Astarion, he yanks Cazador’s head back and starts viciously stabbing into his neck. Two hundred years of pent up fury and revenge release in a matter of moments. At a certain point, he’s not even stabbing the man, but rather the idea of Cazador and everything he represents.

Eventually he slows and drops Cazador’s limp body to the ground. The dagger falls with a clatter, and Astarion takes a step back. His eyes finally come back into focus and he realizes that it’s over. Really, truly, over. He’s finally free.

His face is awash with an overwhelm of emotions that you can’t identify. He’s panting, first from the physical exertion and then the sobs that wrack his body. He lets out a howling cry filled with pain and suffering and relief and anguish and he falls to his knees, shoulders shaking. Up until this point, you and the rest of your party have been frozen to the spot as you watched Astarion claim his revenge. But something in you breaks free and you rush to his side. Where you need to be. Where you belong.

You grab him tight in your arms and curl into his neck, your own tears mixing with the blood and grime on his bare shoulder. You think with an almost sardonic humor how often your positions have been reversed. Whereas when he leaned into your neck it was often with hunger, or lust, or even just a flirty playfulness, now all you could bring is a shared pain and comfort. You plant a tender kiss just below his ear and he looks at you with tearful eyes, an unidentifiable question present. You wrap your hand around the base of his neck, fingers raking through bloodstained silver curls. Pressing your foreheads together, you sync up your breaths with his, trying to slow them back to an even rhythm. Gods, you love this man so much.

You finally dare to break the silence, whispering, “Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” He lets out a weary chuckle and nods. You take one more look into those wet crimson eyes, bloodshot and tired, and smear some of Cazador’s blood left on his cheek in an attempt to wipe away his tears. He takes your hand and kisses your fingertips gently. You suddenly become aware that the other six spawn have been released from their soul-draining chains and are approaching, just as tired and sweaty as the rest of you. The two of you slowly get up to your feet, each helping the other in the process.

“Is… is it over? Is he…?” The woman you vaguely recall meeting in the flophouse in Wyrm’s Crossing, Dalyria, cautiously peers at Cazador’s body. Astarion lets out one final sigh, his breathing finally returning to normal.

“Yes. He’s gone.” He sounds like he can hardly believe it himself. As though saying the words aloud might somehow break a spell and make them untrue.

“What does that mean for us?” Petras, you think, comes up behind Dal. You do remember meeting him, feeling like he was like a knockoff version of Astarion. Trying all the same moves with half of the charm. You feel bad, now, about that judgemental assessment. He looks like such a lost little boy.

“It means you have a choice,” he says with exasperation. Sibling bonds, even when forged in fire, never die. “You can hide here, living in the shadows, like parasites.” His voice is filled with venom. “Or you can be more than what he made us to be. You can choose differently, of course. But the consequences are on your head.”

“What does it mean for them?” Dal asks, and Astarion falters slightly. 

“Ah. Now that is a question…” You can tell he had been trying not to think about the seven thousand vampire spawn locked up in the dungeons. He was trying to get Sebastian out of his mind since their conversation. You don’t blame him, honestly. Astarion may have been forced to do Cazador’s bidding, but that doesn’t make the fallout from that any less reprehensible. Worse even that he was good at it.

Astarion had taken a step away from you to talk to his siblings, and you can see him beginning to spiral. You close the distance again and lay a hand on his shoulder. You can feel him start under your touch.

“Let’s release them,” you offer quietly. “They deserve the same chance you got.” You have no idea who Astarion would be right now if he hadn’t gotten kidnapped by the Illithid. If he hadn’t been on this journey, seen everything he had seen. Met you. Honestly, you don’t know who you’d even be if you hadn’t met him either. The thought alone makes you run cold.

“You’re right,” he breathes barely above a whisper. “The poor wretches in the cells are innocent. They shouldn’t have to suffer just because I-” his voice catches in his throat and you see him shake off a dark thought, “lured them here.” He reaches down to pick up Cazador’s staff - Woe, you think it’s called - with a hand still stained reddish black with the vampire’s blood. He looks at it for a moment, considering it carefully, and everything this staff had ever meant. Then he slams it on the ground, red waves of energy emanating from it, using its power to unlock every single one of the cells in the dungeon. 

“They’ll need someone to lead them. Take the tunnels into the Underdark. Find somewhere… well, not safe, but less perilous.” Petras eyes light up with fear.

“What? No, we can’t-” he begins desperately, but Astarion cuts him off with a hand.

“Just try to keep them out of trouble.” The exasperated tone is back. How often had he needed to manage Petras’ emotions as much as his own? You vaguely wonder if Petras looked to Astarion as a role model. The other six spawn walk off slowly, exhausted but clearly relieved to be starting anew.

You turn to Astarion, who has just finished redonning his armor that Cazador had stripped him of. His gaze is glassy; you’ve seen this look before, sometimes even when you’re in bed together. He might as well be a million miles away. You gently touch his arm to bring him back to you. He jumps slightly, then a wan smile touches his lips, but not his eyes.

“That’s it. He’s gone. After all these years – these centuries – it’s really over.” He shuffles his feet, antsy and tired at the same time. You hesitate a moment, unsure of the best way to respond, but you finally settle on, “I’m proud of you. You did the right thing.” His smile isn’t free of bitterness.

“I’m glad you think so, because I’m not so sure.” His eyes flick up back to you, but that glassy look has returned. “I just feel numb. What I’ve lost, what I’ve gained – it’s all so much. And gods, all those spawn, free in the Underdark. I need some time, I think. Just to let it all sink in.” You reach out to touch his face comfortingly. Your heart sinks as he gently pushes your hand away, but it settles when he doesn’t let go of it.

“Let’s just go. This place reeks of death and I want to feel alive again.” He gives your fingers a small squeeze and then walks off ahead of your party, making his way down the long corridor into Cazador’s dungeon. Well, not Cazador’s anymore. You briefly wonder what’s going to happen to this place.

At the end of the hallway, you see the Gur standing there, too late to be even remotely useful. You struggle to keep a scowl off your face. You hate how they treated Astarion in your last encounter. You could be sympathetic of their pain, of course; they’ve lost so much to Astarion’s actions. But the fact that they offered no sympathy for him back, the fact that they could barely acknowledge that he was a victim himself? Absolutely despicable. 

Ulma stands at the head of the group, and her scowl matches yours. “You killed one vampire, but released seven thousand of his spawn? Have you lost all sense?”

“They were innocents. To kill them would have been an even greater crime.” Astarion couldn’t possibly sound more tired. You don’t blame him, these are the last people he wants to defend himself against right now.

“Some of those innocents are your fucking kids,” you grumble under your breath, hopefully not enough for Ulma to hear, but just enough for Astarion’s benefit. It’s clear that she couldn’t when she retorts, “And our children? What of their fate?”

“Cazador turned everyone we brought him into spawn. I can only assume your children are somewhere in those wretched cells. You’ll find them in the Underdark, although you may not like what you find.” The grief is plain in Ulma’s face, as well as the rest of the Gur. You feel a little more sympathy for them, but still no warmth.

“This is…” Ulma searches for the right word to capture the enormity of the situation, “difficult news.” She probably could’ve done better. “We will need to decide what this means.” She lets out a heavy sigh. “Thank you for what you have done – slaying Cazador was a great justice. As for the rest… well, time will tell.” Astarion nods curtly, and you’re relieved to be able to push past them and leave.

You and your party finally trudge back to Elfsong Tavern to rest. The rest of your companions are eager to gossip about the day’s events, everyone having something to say. You shield Astarion from their nosiness and distract them while he bathes in the tub in the corner, washing away more than just the physical dirt. 

Later that evening as everyone else is beginning to tuck into bed, Astarion comes to you, finally ready to talk again. You can smell his signature fragrance, an earthy citrus with an undertone of spice, and it’s positively intoxicating. You’ve grown to really love that smell, and even the slightest whiff makes your head spin. For the first time maybe ever since you met, his eyes look… soft. Almost warm, even.

“I should probably start getting used to the shadows, again,” he muses with a light smile. “Who knows how long I have left in the sun?” Your heart drops. This had been your greatest fear, that he would feel resentful of the fact that you convinced him not to go through with the ritual, thereby committing him to an indefinite lifetime in the darkness. You know how much he’s grown to love the feeling of the sun on his skin. Not to mention how it makes his skin look, soft and kissable.

“Don’t say that,” you plead with him. “We could still find a way to control the tadpole.” He shakes his head, his freshly washed curls bouncing slightly.

“Maybe, but even if I could control it, it’s a dangerous game. I’d spend every day waiting for something to go wrong. For the tadpole to find a new trick, reassert itself, make me a slave again.” His eyes grow lighter, discovering the truth of what he’s saying as he says it. “Maybe never seeing the sun again is just the price of freedom.” You reach out and give his arm a reassuring squeeze, relishing the feel of his cool, toned arm beneath the warm linen. Even after all this time, being this close to him makes you a little lightheaded. You feel the blood rush to your cheeks and neck, almost as though it’s aching to be drunk. 

“I’ll be with you either way,” you breathe softly. You can’t help but glance at his lips. “I hope you know that.”

“I think I do.” He sounds genuine, a bit of a rarity for him. Lest anyone believes Astarion to have a sincere bone in his body, he adds, “Assuming we survive, of course. Because a horrible death is always just around the corner with you.” You playfully shove his shoulder for teasing you. He laughs and gently pulls you in by your lower back and you feel the heat rising again. Your breath catches as his eyes rake over your body and face. He lingers on your lips for a moment before darting back up to your eyes.

“There’s… something I’d like to show you, if that’s alright? Something out in the city.” He cocks his head and looks at you with an almost impossible combination of bashfulness and lust. Being this close to him and breathing in his heady scent makes you dizzy. You manage to recover just enough to quip, “If you want to sneak off for a cuddle, you can just ask.” He lets you go and you feel a significant drop in your internal temperature.

“I’ll try to restrain myself if you do,” he says with a cheeky smile. He takes you gently by the hand and leads you out the Elfsong Tavern.

The graveyard is quiet, almost serene. Astarion walks forward towards a tombstone covered in ivy and, with something bordering on reverence, brushes the vines away to reveal the text engraved in the crumbling stone. 

Astarion Ancunin 1229 DR - 1268 DR

He wipes the dirt off his hands and steps back next to you to get a better view of the stone. You stand together in silence for a moment, as if in prayer.

“Nearly two hundred years and I never came back. Not since the night I woke up down there.” His gaze is overtaken by that glassy look, the one you recognize to be him reliving his trauma. “I had to punch a hole in the coffin and claw my way through six feet of dirt. Then when I finally broke the surface, retching up dirt and congealed blood, Cazador was waiting. From that day on I was his.” He sneers at the memory. Then he pauses, considering, “Until today.” 

He comes back to himself with a shake of his head, and his eyes return to this plane. He adds, as much to himself as to you, “Now I need to figure out who I am. What I want.”

“And what do you want?” Your mouth is dry as you ask the question. You can hope for the answer, but you wouldn’t dare presume. He might need to figure that out on his own, and if that’s the case, you will respect that. 

He turns to face you, his red eyes full of more warmth than you’ve ever seen. Your heart leaps into your throat as he smiles and says, “You… I want you. 

“You were by my side through all of this. Through bloodlust and pain and misery. You were patient. You cared.” As he’s speaking your heart starts beating loudly, blood pumping through your arteries at an almost vulgar rate. You know he can tell, and he chuckles softly. Cupping his hand below your ear and gently stroking your cheek with his thumb, he adds teasingly, “You trusted me when that was an objectively stupid thing to do.” He pulls you even closer and rests his forehead against yours. You could never get tired of this. As much as you love those moments filled with heat and lust, there’s something so tender about these intimate gestures that aren’t about sex. 

“I feel safe with you. Seen. And whatever the future holds for me, I don’t want to lose that.” You grasp at the back of his shirt, looking for purchase as you fall so much more deeply for him. Your voice is barely above a whisper as you breathe, “You won’t. Whatever comes next, I’ve got you.”

“Thank you.”

You two stand there for what feels like both an eternity and a fraction of a second before he pulls away and looks at the grave again.

“Well. I should probably fix this.” He pulls a dagger from his belt with practiced fingers and kneels beside the stone, carving something into it. You kneel beside him and see that it now reads

Astarion Ancunin 1229 DR - 1268 DR 1492 DR -

His new life. For the first time in two hundred years, he can call it his own. You find yourself at a loss of what to do, or what to add, so you self-consciously pick up a nearby wildflower and gently place it at the base of his gravestone. He glances at you sideways and smirks, “Cute.” You both sit back on your heels to admire his work. He heaves a great sigh, letting go of centuries of tension and fear.

“I’ve been dead in the ground for long enough. It’s time to start living again.” He turns to you and takes your hands. “With everything life has to offer.” His voice has taken on that gravelly tone that sends a shiver up your spine. You don’t want to pressure him, of course, but your desire for his touch is getting harder to ignore. These gentle grazes, lovely though they’ve been, have set your skin aflame.

“Meaning…?”

His eyes glint mischievously and that familiar flirty lilt comes back to his voice. “If a night of passion is on offer, I could be persuaded.” Your body leans toward him instinctively, breath heavy in your chest. The words are out of your mouth before your brain catches up, “Sounds good to me.” He gets close to your face and you can feel his breath on your lips before he pulls away suddenly. He’s teasing you, and you know that he’s relishing in the satisfaction of it.

“You know,” he says with a feigned innocence, as though he doesn’t know the effect he has on you, “I didn’t care for you when we first met.” The sudden shift in tone knocks you back to reality, and you can’t help but laugh. He impishly glances up at you through his lashes.

“But I do now. Being with you is about more than lust or manipulating you into a tactical alliance.” He takes your hand, cheekiness gone, and looks you squarely in the eye with a rare earnestness. “I love you. I love this. And I want it all.” You will never tire of hearing those words. He reaches behind your ear and tenderly pulls you closer to him, finally giving your lips the reprieve they’ve been so desperate for. It’s a soft kiss, gentle, yet it still makes you burn up inside. 

He pulls away far too soon, and you gaze back at him with starry eyes. His features is soft and smiley, but in an instant he raises on his knees so he’s towering over you and he takes on that stern expression that makes your temperature rise. He shoves you back onto your elbows before bending down to crawl up your torso hungrily. He kisses you again, this time with more intensity. He pins you down with the weight of his chest and then traps you further by nudging your leg up with his knee, eliciting a small gasp of surprise from you. You couldn’t escape even if you wanted to. And you most certainly don’t want to.

His body presses against yours and you curl your leg around him, pulling him tighter. An almost imperceptible grunt escapes his lips and you smile through your kiss. You can feel his smile in return and you lace your fingers into his silvery hair. He deepens the kiss, rolling his hips harder against you and your mouth opens involuntarily. He takes advantage of this momentary lapse and makes his way toward your neck, marking the trail with kisses. You seize up and your fingers tighten in his hair, encouraging him silently. But he needs more than that, and you know exactly how he’ll respond.

“Use your words,” he hums between kisses. You squirm beneath him, trying to sound even remotely dignified.

“You can,” you manage to gasp out as you try to suppress the moans that his lips are tearing from your throat. He flicks his tongue right over his usual puncture wounds and then gently trails it up the shell of your ear. You shiver with the intensity of it all.

“I can… what? I can’t know unless you tell me.” How the fuck does his voice stay this even? You can bearly even think straight, let alone string full sentences together. And yet he remains calm, nigh indifferent to the effect he’s having on you. But as cool as he is on the surface, you know how much he wants it. You both love the teasing, each night a challenge to see who can outlast the other. 

“You can bite me,” you breathe and he nips at your ear ever so lightly, causing you to choke out the last few words, “if you want.”

“If I want? But what do you want?” He emphasizes the pronouns in a singsongy tone, and even hearing “I” and “you” in the same sentence does it for you. He’s still grinding against you all while assaulting your neck with filthy kisses. You try to remember what words are.

“I want you,” you gasp, trying to keep your words legible, “to bite me.” You suck in sharply through your teeth as he hitches your leg up a little higher. He grabs both of your wrists in one hand and pins them above your head.

“Are you sure?” his tone is still infuriatingly innocent. He knows how much you want this, and you know what he wants in return. You’re not quite ready to give it to him yet. But gods how you wish he would break first tonight. Odds aren’t looking great as his free hand slips behind your lower back causing you to arch it off the ground slightly.

“Yes,” you groan in agony as his lips continues their heinous walk up and down your neck and collarbone. “Please, Astarion. I want you to.” He nips you again at the same time that he presses his thigh right at the apex between your legs. He tightens his grip on your wrists and whispers sharply in your ear.

“Beg for it.”

That’s it. You’ve lost. You cry out in a delicious mix of pain and pleasure. The words come tumbling out of you, unbidden and unburdened.

“Please, Astarion, bite me. Please please please. Bite me. I want to feel your fangs pierce my skin. I want to know the feeling of my blood inside you. Gods, please, I can’t take it any longer and if you don’t bite me soon I think I might-”

Thank the realms that he cuts you off in that moment, acquiescing to your begging, because you have no idea how you planned to finish that sentence. The sharp moment of pleasure as he sinks in, followed by the loveliness of feeling your blood flow into his mouth. It makes you feel slightly lightheaded, and the high it gives you is better than any you might hope to achieve on Elendren pipeweed. The gentle feeling of his tongue lapping at your neck contrasts beautifully with the sharp tension of him sucking the blood out of you. You can feel him starting to get lost in your neck, his grip on your wrists loosening. You use this moment of vulnerability in Astarion to get him back by arching your back even more to move your hips against his. You hear the sudden intake of breath through his nose and you smile to yourself smugly. He knows what you did and isn’t about to take it lying down, metaphorically speaking. 

Once he’s had his fill he draws away from your neck, lips stained red with your blood. He sits up again, one knee between your legs as he looks down on you. He tsks quietly as he shakes his head, drawling, “So naughty. What am I to do with you?” You prop yourself up on your elbows and return his gaze wickedly, your blood tickling your neck as it drips down toward your shoulder. He swipes at the drop with a long pale finger and lasciviously sucks your blood off his fingertip. Your smug grin is back, knowing how weak he is for you. 

His face drops into that stern expression again, but this time a devilish smile plays on his lips. He puts his hand on your chest gently, then takes a hard turn as he grabs you by the throat. Not enough to be painful, nor enough to constrict your breathing, but just enough for him to have control. He studies your face for a moment, admiring its beauty, before he yanks you upward commanding you to look him in the eye. He leans in for a forceful kiss as he keeps his hand tight beneath your jaw. You start to lose yourself in the kiss, melting into him, and he takes the opportunity to sharply push you away, his pointer lingering on your chin to show that he’s still in control of where you look. He lets you go and leans back confidently, enjoying how you’ve become extremely pliable in his hands.

He stands to loom over you for a second more, then reaches for your hand to pull you up. You’re completely under his power and couldn’t be more than happy to give him whatever he wants. You take his hand and he pulls it behind his back, pressing your chest into his. 

“You’d better be good for me,” he murmurs against your lips, once again denying the kiss you ache for. “We wouldn’t want to punish any bad behavior, now would we?” He caresses your face momentarily and then turns with your hand still in his and pulls you toward… somewhere. Honestly, you couldn’t care where. You love him, and you love this, and you’ll go wherever he leads. 

#astarion fanfiction #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion x gn reader #astarion x gn!tav #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #astarion angst #astarion fluff

[aftersamu]

THE EXIT PAIRING: r.suna x gn!reader GENRE: angst + exposure of the bet trope (enemies to lovers to enemies)

it gets personal at the end, and this has such a different energy to anything i've written before. like there's harsh words, fucked up tropes, and it's definitely more 2010 teen drama. proceed with caution <3

a party.

people crowding the living room and backyard of the house, 20+ bottles of alcohol, red cups lining every table and surface, casual hookups, and girls rushing to the bathroom to throw up, and others blacked out on the grass.

you lost suna throughout the night, got invested in a conversation with a girl you've never spoken to before. and once you realised he was gone, you searched for him.

asking around for his whereabouts, getting closer and closer to finding a distinct location. osamu told you where to go, and you went. ducking underneath the velvet rope blocking off steps, and heading up.

turning every corner, trying to open every door, with a ear pressed to each closed surface. and down the hall, at the corner, a small ray of light illuminates the hallway.

you walk forward, starting to hear the hushed conversation and walking on your toes, holding your breath in your chest as you approach the slightly opened door.

back pressing against the wall, hiding in the shadows you listen. maybe it's nothing serious and you're being nosey, feeding off drama that might not even involve you.

until you hear your name.

"so, how are things going between the two of you?" atsumu, his voice is easily identifiable. "it's been a couple months since they've stopped hating you, i take it's a good sign."

"look, i don't think this is a good idea anymore." suna sighs, "it was fun for a while, but it's getting pretty serious now."

"you going soft rintarō?" atsumu teases, "i thought you hated that bitch, now you're sympathetic? what happened?"

"i don't know man, my fucking morals kicked in, i guess." suna quips, he's frustrated. you can see his shadow pacing around. "look this was fun, the games, but i don't know if i can do it anymore."

"so... you fucked?" atsumu bluntly remarks, "come on mate, i'm not stupid. you wouldn't be backing out unless you two fucked."

"yeah, well, it happened and now i'm screwed because you're a dickhead and i'm an idiot." suna scoffs, "it ends now, i'll give you the money, i don't want to do this stupid bet anymore."

bet. of fucking course, how cliche of them. how naive of you to think of giving suna a chance, he's a dickhead, you knew that. but, there's no way he spent six months trying to get in good with you for a bet.

no amount of money could have him commit for this long. or at least you think, it was a moment of boredom and a way to make easy money. two rich kids who have nothing better to do other than drop a grand on a bet.

a gambling scheme.

with twist and turns, challenges and money rewards. to keep them both interested in the little plan, one that has been pulled straight from a reality tv show.

"you're backing out now? it's been half a year, i think it's too late to feel remorse now." atsumu states, "do you need a recap of how much money we've bet? do you know how much money has been exchanged during this entire ordeal?"

"no, i don't, and don't be a dick." suna snaps, "you are just as much a part of this as i am."

"yeah, but i wasn't the one who brought it up." atsumu retorts, "i wasn't the one who stood up, and bet that i could get in good with them. that i could manipulate them with my killer charm."

"yes, but you proposed those sick side bets. bring them to the party, kiss them on this day, get them to make the first move within a week." suna mocks, "you're no better than me."

"so what? you going to go down there and tell them that you've been manipulating them for a little extra cash? that you've been fucking around with others the same time you've been buying them flowers, and making them eggs in the morning?"

your heart is beating hard against your chest, is it the anger, sadness, or alcohol that's giving you vertigo? is it the betrayal that causes all feeling to escape from your body, or is it how you feel like a complete idiot that sends you barging into the room.

you kick the door wide open, face red, and eyes already watering. the look of shock on suna's face and fear that paints it, and atsumu's smugness ever so present.

"don't even try." you say, holding up a finger to stop the brunette from saying anything. it's so funny, you can't seem to stop the manic smile from growing on your lips.

"let me explain–"

"oh, yeah sure. i don’t hate you babe, i never hated you, i love you, you’re everything i need. you’re the only one who understands me, and sees me. i can’t hate you." you mock, bringing up the words he spoke to you. "shut the fuck up suna."

it's as if those months have vanished, and all you feel is pure hate and rage towards those eyes that you thought you loved.

"you definitely outdid yourself with this one, this whole fucking twisted six month plan of yours.” you dryly laugh, bringing your hands up, "oh, but love, i don't feel that way, i tried to back out." you mimic. "go fuck yourself."

god, you seem so delusional.

"it's not like that!"

"yeah, and i like totally care." you say, rolling your eyes, "you don't mean shit. so pay miya what you owe and move on, because you lost! that's what you get for being a fucking cunt."

"love, you're drunk." suna sighs, taking a step towards you.

"don't come near me," you deadpan. "you manipulative, sick fuck. you will never be good enough for anybody, no one will ever love you, your sister doesn't even want to see you. i see you, and you're an insecure, needy, fucking freak."

you want to strike a nerve, and you know you have. you want to cause pain, regain some dignity that you've lost. you may have seen the worst of him, but he has not seen the worst of you.

"i'm done with you, i fucking hate you... and you're friends are hotter."

#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #hq drabbles #hq fanfic #hq #hq x reader #hq imagines #suna rintaro drabbles #suna rintaro #suna angst #suna x reader #haikyuu suna #suna rintarou #suna x y/n #hq suna #hq x you

[me-is-confused]

For the people that are scared to identify with a label, because "it might just be a phase", let me tell you my journey of identities over a decade:

When i was 13 i figured out that i was somewhat queer and started identifying as Bi, because i realised i also was attracted to woman. Shortly after with 14 or 15 i switched to identifying as Pan, because i realised i didn't care for gender. Then end 15 beginning 16 my gender came into question too and started identifying myself as a Trans man together with being Pan. With 17 it changed again, when i realised some attraction is missing which i at the time put as being Ace (why i might make a diffrent post about), so with 17 i already switched a lot. This one actually stayed for a few years til i was 19 and i finally managed to come to terms i am Aro, so i started identifying as an aroace trans guy, tho that didn't hold long end 19, gender came up again and so i started iding as enby. Just a few months after with 20 i started using the label Agender. So for a while i was the infamous tripple A battery. Til with i think 21 i finally came to terms with the fact that i do feel sexual attraction and so aroallo it was. Til end 22 i have tried to put a label on my sexuality but i stopped and are now happy with just being aroallo. I also switched between genders in the last two years, from demigirl, agenderflux, genderfluid, genderqueer... but i came back to agender.

In the last 10 years my identity changed atleast 13 or 14 times, if not more, but just because the identity might just have been a "phase", didn't make it any less true for me at the time, just like my identity now, it could change in the future again, but that doesn't disregard my feelings now.

Well long story short, don't be scared to identify with something, because it might change, if it feels right in the moment, it is right and maybe someday an identity comes by that describes you better, but til then, take the one you feel most comfortable with now

#little advice from a mid twenties queer #to the younger #questioning #lgbtq+ #gender #sexuality #agender #trans #bisexual #pansexual #panromantic #asexual #aromantic #aroace #aroallo #genderfluid #demigirl #please take the identity that makes you feel good #jamie talks

[aquietjune]

Regarding the end credits scene in AOT and that one (1) second after Mikasa's death where all kinds of people show up, I slowed it down so each frame can be clearly seen. See it in the video above.

Note that, after Mikasa's death, there is a long-ish moment of rain. After that there is a first evident time jump shown by the growth of the tree (which doesn't grow during Mikasa's lifetime*)

The growth of the tree is shown at the start of the video.

During that one second, time passes rapidly: the models of cars change and so does the fence, until the town below starts blooming with skyscrapers and the next phase of the tree growth (and song) starts.

My take? Considering also the aesthetics of the car parked with Mikasa and her extended family and the ones shown after, there is at least a 30 years timeskip between those moments, +10-20 years during, so nobody there is somebody we know. Still, all up to interpretation.

* Re: the tree does not grow during Mikasa's lifetime: shown here Ambassadors' visit, Mikasa w/ man and baby, Mikasa and extended family. Imho it's a shortcut to focus only on Mikasa and make sure you see it's her and not a descendant or anything, pls do not read too much into it

(Also: I know very little about cars, if you can identify models/styles/decades from the frames it would be great! even though I still think it shouldn’t be taken as literal information but just as an idea of how much time has passed.)

#attack on titan final season #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #aot end credits scene #aot tree #speculations about canon #post repurposed from tweets so a bit stiff sorry #considering the time skip that is not Armin that is Dumbledore #please share for our peace of mind #Youtube

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 759: Modest Mouse This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About

It’s been five months since I’ve written one of these album posts, mainly because 2022 was such a busy year. When I made my last album post on August 1st, I was still talking about my favorite albums from 2021. While I enjoy talking about current music, I think I get more enjoyment writing about music that I’ve had plenty of time to sit with, and consequently, I felt like I was running out of things to say about new releases.

I wasn’t sure how to dip my toes back into this project. Then on New Year’s Eve I got the news that Jeremiah Green passed away.

I’m sure Modest Mouse meant a lot of different things to a lot of different people. And for most people, their impression of the band starts around 2004 with their big hit “Float On.” For me, Modest Mouse will always be that curious local band from the early ‘90s.

A quick recap on Seattle in the ‘90s: Nirvana blew up in the fall of ‘91, and their success helped turn the spotlight on Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Screaming Trees, and Mudhoney. Seattle was suddenly seen as a hub of underground rock music. But the reality is that we were a geographically isolated city with restrictive liquor laws and the Teen Dance Ordinance, a law that made all ages concerts virtually impossible. Rock music in Seattle was for the 21+ crowd. If you were a kid and you liked going to shows, you had to go to the youth centers out in the suburbs, or you had to go down to Tacoma and Olympia, or you religiously attended the one tiny all ages venue in the sketchiest part of downtown, The Velvet Elvis, that was strangely exempt from the ordinance on a technicality (namely, it had fixed seating, so you couldn’t “dance”). There was a distinct generational gap between the crowd that saw Nirvana play at the Central Saloon the summer before Nevermind came out and the local teenagers who picked up guitars in its wake.

Botch started playing in ‘93 and by the end of ‘94 we were playing shows at The Velvet Elvis. We were also playing spots like The Old Fire House in Redmond and Ground Zero in Bellevue, the suburban youth centers that held weekly concerts for the underage crowd. Some weeks you’d get a touring acts like Neurosis or Rocket From the Crypt, but we were so far off the standard touring circuit that most of the time you just got local bands. 

Modest Mouse was a name we saw around a lot. The name sounded a bit twee for our tastes, but we knew their drummer Jeremiah had been in a hardcore band called Drown, and he’d been an early fixture at The Old Fire House. Despite the small nature of the underage scene in Seattle and the crossover in our musical  interests, I wouldn’t hear Modest Mouse until Botch went out on our first tour in ‘96. In San Francisco, we played at the famous Epicenter Records. The bill was Modest Mouse, Scenic Vermont, Trial, and Botch. There were maybe 20 people there. But man, Modest Mouse fuckin’ ruled. They could be sweet and pretty one moment and screaming over distortion and feedback the next. We all became fans that night.

There was so much I identified with in their music. For one thing, it felt like every song started with a nugget of an idea---a solid verse/chorus structure---and then drifted off into some noisy exploratory jam session. It didn’t feel far off from what Botch was doing in that regard. We’d start a song with a couple of riffs that worked together, and we’d just jam in the basement until the rest of the song fell into place. It’s funny... I just assumed that was how every band wrote together. That’s what Fugazi and Drive Like Jehu did, after all. But in hindsight, I think it was a very unique approach, or at least it’s one that’s fallen out of favor with newer bands. When I listen to those early Modest Mouse songs, you can feel the excitement of a band bouncing ideas off of each other, letting happy accidents turn into whole new parts. 

There was something else that really resonated with me about those early Modest Mouse records. There was a sense of wonder with the western landscape, a fascination with geography, and a sense of loneliness and alienation when you become uprooted from your childhood home. It was all there in their record titles---Interstate 8, The Lonesome Crowded West, This Is a Long Drive. I’d only moved to the Northwest in ‘92, so I felt uprooted too. But there was also this new appreciation for wide open spaces. After living on an island you could drive across in a couple of hours, it boggled my mind that you could just get in a car and drive for several days and still not see the other side of the continent. Modest Mouse’s music captured that excitement for the open road and the possibilities it offered.

This Is a Long Drive had come out just a few months before that SF show. This album, along with the Broke single, got a lot of plays in our camp after playing with them. National success for Modest Mouse was still somewhere on the horizon, but by the time summer was over it felt like they were taking off regionally. They sold out a show at The Velvet Elvis that fall. I didn’t even know bands could sell out The Velvet Elvis back then. Sure, it held maybe 125 people, tops, but I didn’t realize there were 125 kids hip to the weird art house theater tucked in an alley in a grimy part of downtown. 

By the time The Lonesome Crowded West came out, they were a national act. A year or two earlier you’d only hear their music at friend’s houses or on the local college radio station. Now you heard their music in coffee shops, bars, and record stores all over the States. They belonged to the world.

Weirdly enough, my only interaction with Jeremiah would happen years later. At some point in the late ‘00s, after the success with Good News For People Who Love Bad News and his brief hiatus from the band, I was at a grocery store in Seattle with a mutual friend. “You guys know each other, right?” the friend asked in lieu of a proper introduction. We both shrugged and smiled, introduced ourselves, both saying “yeah, I know” in response. We were the same age, had come up in the same scene. I’d gone in to work a shift at The Old Fire House Teen Center the day he stopped by to talk to my boss about quitting Modest Mouse. We were in the same musical orbit, likely going through the same growing pains at the same stages of our lives, which is probably why their music hit me the way it did. 

RIP Jeremiah Green. Thank you for the music.

#everyrecordiown #modest mouse

[not-poignant]

This is the anon the said 'safe'. Your tags hit me hard, since I'm actually starting a transition but am avoiding hrt. I've been getting pushback on it, and been told I'm not really trans without it. I know what I want to change to feel like myself. Also what I don't want to change. That's probably why 'safe' was my choice. It sucks when you think you should belong, but still feel like you aren't good enough. It helped to hear you have felt the same. I just want to give you a big virtual hug.

Ahhh I have a similar story, anon <333 I'm so sorry you went through it too.

Under a read more because it contains transphobia towards a nonbinary person from a binary trans person. My experiences are from a nonbinary lens, anon, so take the bits that are useful to you and ignore the rest, depending on where you sit on the trans spectrum <333

When I started realising I was transmasc (I'd known I was non-binary for a while) I remember that I talked to a trans man about it, he'd been going through the process for a couple of years at that point and we'd talked about that too at different points.

And I remember mentioning that I'd thought about hormones, but I was still on the fence because I'm nonbinary, not like 'binary trans' (i.e. I'm not going from point A to point B, where you move from AFAB to man or AMAB to woman), and I was talking about wanting they/them pronouns and maybe he/him pronouns at that point.

And he said: 'Oh cool, yeah, hopefully that helps until you decide for sure with testosterone and surgery.' I had this moment of like ??? and he was like 'when you realise and can be brave enough to commit to being a guy, I hope that goes really well for you.'

It was one of the most transphobic things I'd ever heard, not because it was said from a hateful place (it really wasn't, I'm still friends with this guy), but because it came from a friend, I was being very vulnerable during the conversation and it left me feeling like I didn't have a right to consider myself trans at all for about two years after that. It pushed me into this space where I'd been defined by a fellow trans person as a 'coward until I decided to be officially a man.' And then for two years I kept looking for that inside of myself, denying my non-binary-ness in favour of looking for a very clear and decisive 'I'm a man!' moment. It was a horrible period of time, gender-wise. Because being identified exclusively only as a man or a woman is dysphoric to me, so trying to do it to myself was like cutting at myself with an axe.

It's also very much like when gay and lesbian folk would say to me - back when I identified as bisexual - 'get back to me when you pick a side / become a real queer.' There's a real phobic bent among folks who are 'one or the other' (sighs) towards people who are in the liminal with this stuff and that's where they belong. And it hadn't occurred to me that I'd hear a version of that from a fellow trans person. You'd think I'd have learned, right?

He and I are still friends, but I stopped talking to him about all of my experiences as a trans and nonbinary person. It was clear to me, in that moment, he saw me as a much lesser version of an identity he'd embraced and was living. You know, how so many people think of nonbinary transmascs. (It's also frustrating, because trans men also don't need to have hormones or surgery to be trans men, and it makes me furious when people take this attitude with binary trans folk too, but I'm mostly focusing on my own experience here, of the myriad ways we encounter transphobia in the trans community).

I never heard anything quite like that again, but I've had one other trans guy be like 'when you're ready for testosterone, I'll support you' like he was waiting in the wings for me to 'fully make a decision to be 100% a man' which isn't a decision I can make, because I'm not 100% a man, lmao, I'm like 80% of one, and 20% something else, and 0% woman, lmao, which is why I call myself nonbinary transmasc.

I was lucky that through research and listening to voices in nonbinary transmasc spaces and more open-minded trans spaces that I realised that I'd encountered transphobia, and that this specific kind of transphobia is particularly common in the trans community, especially in cases where a trans man or woman has a period of being nonbinary as an experiment to see what transitioning feels like before they fully commit to the surgery and/or hormones and name etc. that they often wanted all along. So they often project this onto other people, because for them being nonbinary was a midway point, or the middle of an evolution. But being nonbinary isn't an experiment for most nonbinary people, it's literally our identity and it always will be. (And any binary trans person reading this, don't ever use this rhetoric with your nonbinary friends, or your fellow binary trans friends who have elected not to use hormones or surgery - it's transphobic.)

These days, I'm proudly trans and proudly part of the trans community, but I'm also aware that there are a lot of binary trans people who will treat me and other trans folk as 'other' because I haven't suffered through the same surgeries or adjustments that they have. That's...their transphobia, and it's not me expressing my identity wrongly, or being 'lesser', it's just straight up transphobia. It belongs to them, not to me. I don't believe we have a unique word for nonbinary transphobia, it all comes under the same umbrella, but that's definitely what it is.

When you start to feel like you don't belong, anon, remind yourself that this is internalised transphobia, not to punish yourself, but to remind yourself that it's not true. Those feelings belong to the people who gave them to you, but they're not innately or inherently true, they actually have nothing to do with how valid you are at every stage of your transition.

You're fully a trans man if you don't take hormones, and you're fully nonbinary if you do. Whatever you need (or don't need) to affirm or express your gender for you, is what you need, and that deserves to be respected and fully validated no matter what, at any time. Whether it's binding or not binding, hormones or not hormones, hormones and then 'not for the next few years' and then hormones again, surgery or not surgery, etc. Whether you're a trans man, woman, nonbinary, agender etc.

People have this idea of what it is to be a 'proper' trans, bi, gay, lesbian person (like the 'gold star lesbian' which is horrendously disgusting as a term and concept), but all you need - literally all you need - re: these things, is to just... know you're these things. That's it. That's how a gay person can know they're gay without having sex. That's how a bi person can know they're bi without sleeping with someone of the same sex. And it's how a trans person knows they're trans without looking perfectly androgynous or perfectly binary trans (depending on what they desire) on the outside. (Don't get me started on fatphobia in androgynous and nonbinary spaces, and the equation of true 'nonbinary androgyny' with thinness, because that's a whole other rant for another day, lol).

I'm sorry you've experienced that pressure to be 'more' of something from society / particular people. I can specifically relate on the hormones front because I actually went quite far into looking into taking T, to the point where my doctor was ready to sign off with an endocrinologist, before I realised that it wasn't the right decision for me. It might be one day, but right now I know I'm transmasc without it, and I'm concerned about some of the side effects with my neuroendocrine tumours. There are other ways I affirm my gender that work great for me. But I did have a moment of knowing that would impact how other people see me, and it's one thing when it comes from all the cis people, but it's another thing when it comes from the trans community as well. :( Thankfully most people are really validating now, use the right pronouns, and I just don't confide nonbinary vulnerabilities with folks who saw being nonbinary as a midpoint of their own evolution/journey, just to be safe, lmao.

Wishing you fortune and strength and much validation, anon <3 You are amazing as you are, whatever you decide to do or not do in the future. :) *hugs*

#asks and answers #personal #queer culture #i'll never forget that experience #i had the chat right here on tumblr actually #and i remember sort of sitting back in my chair and feeling like something had broken in me #because i'd been supportive to this friend through their transition #and sort of expected the same #and instead got a sort of 'well see you when you get here' conversation #that made it clear that he thought my gender as it is now #was just a weak little scaffold #for the 'end point' #it still makes me emotional thinking about it #i really hope folks who are trans men or women #think about how they talk to nonbinary people #and fellow trans men or women #who are electing not to have one or all of the surgeries or take hormones for many valid reasons #our transness is not defined by how much #we do to our bodies on the way to gender affirmation #we are trans before we ever experience a scalpel or take another hormone #or change our names or birth certificates #all these things can help #and they can hinder #everyone's experience in this is unique #administrator Gwyn wants this in the queue

[slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction]

N I C O L E

For the fic meme 😘

Ahhhh, you're so cute, I love you 😍😍😍😍 Thanks babe, excellent letter choices 😉

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

Ohhh, so many. Too many. I tend to get a bolt of inspiration, start writing, and then get waylaid by another idea. But one I am making some inroads in at the moment is a weird little ✨time✨ fic, but I don't want to give anything away for that. We'll see if it works out LOL

I: How many fandoms have you written in?  Do you have a favorite?

*joints start creaking* back in my LJ days I wrote for Supernatural mostly, but d(r)abbled in a few others like True Blood. But yeah, three mostly – SPN early seasons, Gilmore Girls and Hellcheer, the latter two being the only ones on AO3. I got into writing later than most and also took a massive break. Hellcheer is my absolute 100% most favourite ever, in case no-one realised 🙃

C:  How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

I'm gonna just pick one, lemme see. "Those were days of roses" is a line from the Tom Waits song Martha, which I just adore – in it an elderly man contacts an old flame to see if she remembers him. The short little fic is just a chance meeting when Eddie and Chrissy are middle-aged and haven't seen each other in 20 years. I tried to imbue the sense of melancholy from the song into the fic, but gave them a little more hope, I think.

O: What are your thoughts on people writing fanfic of your fanfic?

Uhm, sure, go for it! I don't think anyone would, I don't think any of it would particularly lend itself to it, but inspiration strikes from anywhere!

L:  Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?

Most of my Hellcheer stuff is a bit of fun and not really emotionally taxing, I think. But my GG fic Not Time's Fool, maybe? I wrote the spaces between canon, so trying to see how Rory and Jess could move forward with those events took a bit of meditation on my part on why they would and how they could.

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

I don't know about identify, but there are some qualities in Eddie that feel like me. Or maybe that's just the Eddie I write – I probably write him lighter than canon tbh 😆 While I didn't stand on tables and act out so dramatically, I have always been someone who is a bit of a clown, who has a sarcastic comment or dumbass quip. Which fic shows that best? Fucked if I know. Maybe my New Girl fic, or Mary Jane?

(Also the sense of bottled up rage, or rage that simmers under the surface that Eddie has in some canon scenes. That's me too LMFAO)

Thanks for the ask, my love! If anyone else wants to read more waffle like this, check out the ask meme!

#the ask and the answer #ask meme

[kangaroosmile]

Feel the Beat - Changjin

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

description: "So will you do it?" His head snapped towards Hyunjin who was looking at him with a little smirk. He looked so confident about winning that Changbins mouth betrayed him. "Yes I will", he stated.

Or when two rival dance crews have to decide which one will perform in a TV show, they make a bet. A bet that involves making the other participant fall in love. But what consequences will it have for Hyunjin and Changbin.

pairing: Changbin x Hyunjin

genre: dancing, bet, rivals to lovers, a little bit of angst, happy ending

word count: ~ 25k

You can find more of my stories under Stray Kids Masterlist

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

I

Changbin was late for practice and he knew Minho Hyung would kill him. It wasn't like he came too late to their practice often but Minho Hyung texted them earlier that today was a special day. Changbin cursed under his breath and opened the door to the dance studio. He greeted the young woman at the reception and ran up the stairs. Carefully but still with strength he knocked on the door to their regular practice room then he let himself in. The first one he saw was Minho-Hyung who looked at him with a glance he couldn't quite identify but he was still kinda terrified.

“I'm sorry for being late, Hyung”, he muttered, bowing lightly. Eventhough Changbin and Minho were best friends for several years now, he was still the leader of their little dance group.

“You are always on time, why do you have to be late today out of all the day?”, he hissed angrily. Changbin swallowed hard as he heard Minhos voice. He decided to say no more and just let himself fall down next to Jeongin and Seungmin.

“It's not your fault. Hyung was already stressed when I came here and I was about 20 minutes too early”, Seungmin whispered into Changbins ear. It made him feel better. Just a tiny bit but it made him feel not as guilty. Still he wondered why Minho was in such a bad mood.

“Alright, I think now everyone is present, right?” Changbins head snapped around towards the man that was standing near the sound system. It was the owner of the dance studio, Mr. Choi, and also their old dance teacher but now that they were all grown ups they didn't have dance lessons with him anymore.

“That is right.” For a second Changbins eyes got wide the moment he recognised the voice. His eyes drifted towards the other side of the room. A bit away from the practice room door sat another group of four men. He was so focused on not getting a kick in the ass from Minho that he didn't notice them at all. For a moment he stared at them. He couldn't help but wonder why they were here. Not just the others but all of them. Mr. Choi knew that both dance groups couldnt be in the same room peacefully. Changbin held back a sigh and looked again toward the middle aged man. He was more than curious to learn why they were here.

“Thank you, Hyunjin”, he said and gave him a smile. “I already talked with Hyunjin and Minho a bit about what I will tell you now.” Changbin was starting to feel nervous. What was this all about? His glance travelled towards the other side of the studio. For a moment he met eyes with Hyunjin and he nearly rolled his eyes. It was not like he hated Hyunjin. Changbin just found him annoying sometimes. He couldn't help it. Maybe it was all because of the revality between the two dance groups but he couldn't tell. Changbin didn't even notice that he was still staring at Hyunjin but Hyunjin did.

“What the hell is he doing?”, Hyunjin muttered, which attracted Jisungs attention. The younger one looked at his Hyung.

“Just ignore him. His brain is probably all empty.” On Hyunjins lips a smirk grew as he thought about it.

“Probably “, he replied, which made Jisung laugh a little.

“Like I said, I told Hyunjin and Minho already that my studio got the chance to send one dance group to a TV show”, Mr. Choi said with a wide smile. Meanwhile Changbins mouth fell open. That was a really big chance for them.

“That sounds amazing”, he whispered, Seungmin and Jeongin agreeing with light nods. They were also very surprised. But the next words spoken by Mr. Choi cushioned their excitement.

“Both of your dance groups are really good and I'm sure you could win the show but I won't decide which one of you will go. You are all grown up so I want you to discuss which group will go. I'm also open to new constellations.” Changbin was too shocked to even say anything. His glance kept wandering between Mr. Choi and the dance group of Hyunjin. He knew they would never back away. This opportunity was just too good.

“You will have time to find a conclusion till the end of the month." Both Hyunjin and Minho stood up and bowed to him. Still in shock, Changbin watched how Mr. Choi leaves the eight young men alone in the studio. For a moment the studio was quiet.

Hyunjin looked at Minho.

"I think we can agree that my team will go to the tv show. We are better than you", he said with his chin up high and a confident smile but all Minho could do was laugh.

"I didn't know you were good at making jokes", Minho fired back, crossing his arms while he looked like he was about to fry Hyunjin alive.

"I'm not joking! We are better than you."

"I guess you need to clean your ears again because Mr. Choi said both groups are equally good“, Seungmin hissed, getting up and standing next to Minho.

“Don’t speak so disrespectfully with someone that’s older than you”, Hyunjin said with anger in his eyes.

“Then imagine I said it instead”, Changbin replied while he stared with half closed eyes at Hyunjin. For some people he might have looked intimidating but not for Hyunjin. Alright maybe a little but he couldn't show that Changbin.

“Hyung please do something”, Felix whispered near Chan's ear, while he looked back and forth between Hyunjin and Minho, Changbin and Seungmin. Felix never really understood the revality between their two dance groups. Chan let out a sigh, looked at the younger one and patted Felix's thigh lightly. He stood up, walked towards Hyunjin and softly put a hand on the younger one's shoulder.

“What do you want, Hyung?”, Hyunjin asked, still deep into the confrontation with the other men.

“Fighting gets us nowhere”, Chan muttered and then also looked at Minho with serious eyes.

“You are right Hyung”, Minho said. Even though Chan and Minho were in different dance groups they were quite close. Hyunjin was still staring at his Hyung, not believing what he just did. He let out a little “tsk” but kept quiet.

“We need to find another way.”

“I know something!”, Jisung nearly screamed, while he jumped up and down in excitement. Changbin barely held back his smile.

“And that would be?”, Minho asked, eying the younger one suspiciously. Jisung on the other side smiled even wider.

"Okay, okay listen to me. Two out of the groups are gonna try to make the other one fall in love. Whoever makes the other one fall for them wins and that team will go to the tv show." Jisung looked very proud of his idea, Jeongin on the other side just started to giggle while Minho was shaking his head slightly.

"Sounds good."

"Sounds good? Hyunjin, it sounds good? Are you nuts?", Chan hissed, grabbing the shoulder of the younger one harder.

"What? I'm gonna win anyways", Hyunjins said confidently. Changbin was surprised by Hyunjins action. How could he be so confident? "Which of you will try against me?"

"Hyunjin this isn't a game", Chan muttered but was ignored. Hyunjin just looked at Minho, still waiting whether the older one would agree with such an idea.

Minho himself glanced towards Changbin, who didn't notice the glance at first but then shook his head intensely.

"Why me?"

"Because Jeongin is too young for this and Seungmin is Seungmin, he would never get someone to fall in love so quickly. He is more like the one you fall in love with over the years but then it would be forever."

"I'm 21, Hyung. I'm not a baby anymore", Jeongin pouted.

"And what about you, Hyung?" Changbin didn't want to do that.

"I would do it but", Minho stopped for a second and bit his lower lip. "But I already like someone." Changbin stared back at Minho and was just speechless. Why has he never told Changbin?

"So will you do it?" His head snapped towards Hyunjin who was looking at him with a little smirk. He looked so confident about winning that Changbins mouth betrayed him.

"Yes I will", he stated.

"Please overthink this one more time", Chan tried to change their minds one last time but it was hopeless. He let out a frustrated hum and then walked back to Felix who was still sitting against the wall observing everything.

"This will clearly backfire", he muttered and fell down next to Felix who immediately side hugged him.

"It probably will. We just don't know for which side", Felix muttered.

"Alright then everything is clear. We will start tomorrow", Hyunjin decided. Hesitantly Changbin nodded. He had this strange feeling in his stomach that everything would end up in a mess but he also wouldn't let Hyunjin win this easily. Performing in the tv show could mean the beginning of something big and he knew how hard Minho worked the past few years for such an opportunity.

Hyunjin backed away and went, followed by Jisung, to Felix and Chan.

"Let's go and start practising. I hope the studio I booked is still free. We are 15 minutes late." Not even a minute later they left the studio.

For a moment Minho closed his eyes, rubbed over them and let out a little sigh.

"Don't get nervous, Hyung. Changbin Hyung will make him fall easily", Jeongin tried to comfort the older one.

"Who wouldn't fall in love with Changbin Hyung? I mean at least when they don't like someone else already." Minho gave them all a light smile.

"Thanks for doing it", he said and patted Changbins shoulder.

"I hope I will not regret it", Changbin laughed nervously and looked down towards his shoes. But then his eyes fell on the older one.

"But when did you plan to tell me that you like someone?" Changbin said, with a smirk he couldn't hold back, how Minho's ears started to redden up.

"Let's start practice. We already lost nearly 20 minutes because of this." Changbin held back a sigh and nodded.

"Tell me when you are ready, Hyung", he said, softly smiling at Minho. He knew Minho would tell him someday and he would wait patiently.

"Alright let's go."

II

The next day came faster than Changbin liked him to and the problem was, he didn't really sleep well. His mind was full of thoughts and he damned this whole situation and his mindless words. He has never been in a relationship nor did he make people fall in love with him. He would definitely fail this but he would make sure he would not fall for Hyunjin. With a heavy sigh Changbin got up from his bed and walked out of his small bedroom. He nearly fell over some bags he forgot to pack away yesterday. He held back some swear words as he entered the bathroom. There he washed his face and brushed his teeths. For a moment he stared into the mirror, making strange faces to cheer himself up. With a little smile he left the bathroom and went into his kitchen. He made himself something to drink and something to eat and sat down.

Changbin sat in his kitchen even after he had finished eating, staring out of the window, when his phone suddenly made a loud sound. He flinched but grabbed his phone immediately.

Unknown number

Hey, this is Hyunjin.

Changbin

Where the heck did you get my number from?

Hyunjin

Oh what a nice first text from Mr. Changbin.

I got your number from Channie-Hyung and he got it from Minho.

Changbin

Well good to know that Minho-Hyung gives away my number without my permission.

Hyunjin

Well we somehow need to get in touch, don't we?

When do we want to meet?

Changbin went out of his kitchen into his living room and sat down on his sofa. He was still a bit mad that Minho gave his number away without even asking whether it would be alright or not. For a moment he looked out of the window but then his eyes wandered back towards his phone screen.

Changbin

Meet?

Why meet?

Hyunjin

I swear, I didn`t know you were that dumb.

We need to meet up so you can fall in love with me.

Changbin

Don`t call me dumb again!

And stop being so confident.

I will never fall for you!

Hyunjin

We will see, Honey.

Again, when do you want to meet?

Changbin

I have uni in half an hour but we could meet after my practice

Hyunjin

Sounds good to me.

I will be there to get you.

Changbin looked at Hyunjins last text and wondered how he would know when he had practice. What would they do? Had Hyunjin already had an idea? Changbin rolled his eyes and closed their chat. He was thinking too much again. At the moment he couldn't do anything. He would have to wait. His lips escaped a little sigh and he stood up. He was still tired but also very curious of what was to come. He got up and was getting ready for his lessons. He liked his degree but it was also exhausting sometimes. Changbin closed his door behind him and got on his motorbike outside the house.

It was his luck that he decided, out of all days, that he would sit further in the back because his body decided during the lesson that sleep would be quite good. He woke up again when the students around him packed away their things and went out. Tried he went over his face and slowly started to pack away his things. He stopped his recording and then walked as one of the last ones out.

The hallway is full of other students. Some of them were talking to each other. Sometimes Changbin wished he had friends that also took his degree but sadly nobody did.

"Changbin-ssi!" He heard someone calling him. Surprised, Changbin turned around to see Chan running towards him. With big eyes he watched how the older one stopped in front of him.

"Chan-ssi."

"Hello Changbin. Where are you heading?" Changbin was quite confused. He knew from Minho that Chan also studied but he never saw him. Or at least never noticed him till now.

"Practice, I will stop at a boba shop, though. And you?"

"I'm on my way to the studio too. Forgot my headphones." Slowly Changbin nodded. They started walking again.

"How is it even possible to forget headphones?" This question made Chan laugh out loud which made Changbin smile too. He liked making people laugh.

"Believe me. I don't know how I managed to do that. Normally my headphones are the first thing I check when I leave but I guess I forgot it yesterday." With a smile Changbin nodded again.

"Would you like to come with me? To the boba shop I mean.”

“The one that is next to the studio or the one with a wall of grass?” Confused, Changbin looked at the older one.

“Grass wall?”

“I guess you mean the one next to the studio then. The other one just opened up I think. Felix dragged me with him last week to check the tea out.” They walk across a street, the shop now in visibility.

“You need to tell me the address. Maybe I can take Hyunjin there.” Immediately Chan's mood changed and he just stared at Changbin while the latter ordered their teas.

“So you also really want to do it? I thought maybe you would be the more grounded one.” Changbin let out a sigh and watched how their teas were made.

“Honestly I don't want to do it… I do it for Minho-Hyung because he works so fucking hard and would deserve this chance”, Changbin explained. “And also because Hyunjin seems so full of himself that I just agreed to this.”

“Someday it will make him fall down on his knees”, Chan muttered and then helped with their drinks. “But he also has a kind heart. Please don't hurt him.” Changbin let out a loud laugh.

“Well according to Hyunjin, I will be the one that will fall in love and not him.” Chan just answered with a little hum.

“Thanks for helping me with the drinks. We will probably see eachother soon again”, Changbin muttered, while Chan started smiling and nodded lightly.

“Sure and also thanks for the tea.” Changbin returned the smile and then walked towards the dance studio that Minho booked.

When he opened the door, he saw that Minho was already there, standing at the stereo.

“Hello Hyung”, he greeted Minho softly, when he stopped next to him. The older one looked away from the laptop.

“Changbin, you are early today”, he mumbled, still catched in his own thoughts.

“I had to make up for yesterday hyung. I also bought boba tea.” Finally Changbin got Minho out of his kinda trance. Minho's face lit up and he grabbed his tea with both hands.

“Thanks Binnie.” He took a big sip and then let out a little sigh. “That's exactly what I needed right now.”

“You are welcome. When did you arrive?”

“About two hours ago, I think. I came up with the beginning of a new choreo. Maybe even for the show, we will see.”

“Uh I'm excited to see what you made up in your clever head.”

They were interrupted when Seungmin opened the door, followed by Jeongin.

“Hello Hyungs”, the latter shouted and ran towards them, while Seungmin put down his backpack first and then walked over to them.

“Hello Minho-Hyung, Changbin-Hyung”, Seungmin greeted them too and gave them a big smile. With a wide smile Changbin gave the two younger men their bobas. For a few minutes the four men drank a bit of their boba in silence, then Minho jolted them all up and they started to warm up. Soon Changbin felt his body and mind relax. He started to feel present in the moment. It was always like that. Sooner or later when they started practising he would start to feel grounded and present in the moment.

All four young men were so focused on their new choreo that none of them, not even Minho that normally notices everything during practice, noticed how the door got open and closed after about one and a half hour of practice.

"I swear I will go crazy should you do that move wrong one more time, Changbin-ssi", a voice behind them grumbled. Changbins lifted up his head fastly just to see Hyunjin sitting against the opposite wall casually.

"Yah! What are you doing here?", Minho asked, getting out of his pose, turning around. Even though Seungmin knew Minho for years now, he sometimes got still surprised by Minho's sudden outbursts.

"I'm waiting for Changbin."

"Yeah we will go eat after practice, Hyung", Changbin confirmed with a low sigh.

"Alright but does he have to be here?"

"Oh come on I will not steal your choreo. I'm not that cheap", Hyunjin replied, rolling his eyes. For a long moment Minho stared at Hyunjin, probably choosing whether to trust the younger one or not.

"Alright you can stay", Minho then said towards Hyunjin and turned around again.

"And Binnie, he is right. You did the last move wrong before he interrupted. Do you want me to show it to you one more time?" For a second Changbin stared at Hyunjin through the mirror only getting a wide smirk as an answer. He closed his eyes and then nodded.

"I would appreciate that Hyung." Once more Changbin glance fell on Hyunjin who was still staring at him but then he focused on his Hyung. He could still feel Hyunjins eyes on him which made it way more difficult to concentrate on the choreo but he still tried his best.

They trained for about half an hour until another group came in to practice.

III

The five young men stood outside the dance studio for a while. Changbin felt his heart beating hard against his chest. He didn’t even understand why he was so nervous to begin with. It was just Hyunjin.

„Are we meeting on the weekend?“, Seungmin asked the others. „You meet on the weekends? For dance practice?“, Hyunjin muttered, looking down at Changbin.

„Not only for dance practice. Sometimes we do dance a bit but most of the time we just hang out, game a bit and eat something together.“

„And sometimes we drink a bit“, Seungmin whispered with a grin on his lips.

„Sounds fun“, Hyunjin muttered, sounding more than uninterested.

„Well at least we can bond because of that better than you", Minho hissed feeling kinda attacked but the younger one just rolled his eyes. Changbin felt a strange tension building up so the only logical thing he could think of was getting Hyunjin away from his friends.

"We should go now. I'm really hungry", he told Hyunjin. He gave Seungmin and Jeongin a hug and patted Minho on the shoulder.

"Rest a bit, Hyung. You worked a lot today. Also don't forget to eat well." Minho started to smile lightly and nodded.

"Don't let yourself get killed", he joked, side-eyeing Hyunjin which got both Seungmin and jeongin laughing.

"Can we go now?", Hyunjin asked annoyed, rolling his eyes. Changbin held back a laugh but gave the younger one a thumbs up. He waved to his friends once more and then started walking, followed by Hyunjin.

"Where do you want to go?", Changbin asked, rubbing his tummy unintentionally. He was really hungry now. After Hyunjin catched up with Changbin he looked down at him.

"I know a place", he muttered, taking the lead. They walked in silence for a few minutes, Changbin following Hyunjin like a lost puppy. The taller one stopped in front of a small side street.

„Do you want to kill me? Will that be my end?”, Changbin joked, staring into the street, which made Hyunjin giggle for the first time, even though he didn’t want to giggle.

“Maybe, maybe”, he whispered with a wide smile. “No, I found a little restaurant a few weeks ago and it is so comfortable.” Hyunjin walked first into the street followed by the other one.

Changbin expected not much but when they entered the little restaurant he was surprised. A lot of plants were placed everywhere and curtains in soft caramel separated the different tables. In addition, an amazing smell lingered around and had Changbins stomach growling loudly.

“How on earth did you find such a place? It looks like a setting in a drama”, Changbin joked, walking further into the restaurant. Hyunjin had no chance to answer because a waitress appeared next to them with a welcoming smile and walked them towards a free table.

From their table they could look out of a window into a little backyard. While Changbin is still too focused on the environment, Hyunjin is already reading the menu. Secretly he already knew what he would order, then he looked up the menu beforehand. After Changbin looked around enough, he read the menu and then they ordered.

They fell into silence and the older one couldn't point out whether it was a comfortable silence or not. He saw how Hyunjin started playing with his fingers. Was he nervous? Probably not. Why would Hyunjin be nervous?

Hyunjin on the other hand didn't know why he felt kind of nervous. Maybe it was because he never really went on a date even though he was 23 now. He just never had the time to do so.

“So… what now?”, Changbin asked, rubbing his hand together and looking at the younger one. The other one chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “What do you do besides dancing?”

“Really?”, Hyunjin muttered.

“What? Do you want us to just sit there in silence till we walk out of this restaurant again?” Changbin hissed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He was trying to get familiar with Hyunjin but how could he do that when the latter blocked his attempts. For a moment the young man in front of him sighed but then he nodded.

“I like to draw“, he started. „I can show you a few things if you want to.” Hyunjin already started to get his phone out of his pocket. “Look.” Slowly he went through his different pictures.

“Wow you are talented. It all looks really nice.”

“You sound so surprised”, Hyunjin teased and for a second Changbin was taking apart because it was a playful teasing and not in a mean kind of way. The older one rolled his eyes.

“Of course I'm surprised. I mean how should I have even known that? Since when do you draw?”

“To be honest I always liked it but I just started two year ago to really concentrate on it and take online classes to improve. I can forget everything when I'm drawing.” Changbin nodded slowly, still too surprised to say anything that would make sense. Right when he wanted to say something their dinner came.

"It smells so nice", Changbin muttered, already grabbing his chopsticks.

“It will taste great too.” For a second he looked at Hyunjin who was staring at him.

“You eat first”, Changbin said, which took the younger one by surprise.

“But you are the older one. You should eat first!”, he tried to protest but when he saw Changbins stubborn glance. Slowly he took some of the food that was standing in the middle of the table and started to eat. Immediately his eyes lit up and a little smile appeared on his face. When Hyunjin took some of the food again, Changbin started to eat too.

“It really tastes good.” The two ate in silence but much to Changbins surprise it wasn't as uncomfortable as he thought it would be. It was not as comfortable as with Minho-Hyung, Seungmin or Jeongin but it was not as bad as he considered.

They ate slowly but soon enough every dish was empty. With a huff Hyunjin laid back.

“That was really good”, he muttered. Changbin just nodded, finished his lemonade.

“That's true. I will definitely eat here again.” This made Hyunjin smile a little. He felt proud that Changbin liked the restaurant so much that he wanted to come back some time later.

“I want to pay”, Hyunjin announced loudly when the waitress passed them.

“What? Why are you paying?”

“Because I asked you to meet today.” With this answer Changbin was satisfied and let the younger pay for their dinner.

When they stepped out of the restaurant Changbin turned towards the other one.

“Do you want to come too? I mean this weekend, when I meet up with the boys.”

“And you want me to come?” Hyunjin asked, confused.

“Obviously, I wouldn't have asked otherwise. I want to show you that our meetings can indeed be fun.” For a moment the Hyunjin was just staring at him, debating whether he should go or not.

“Alright but my crew will come along. You will write me when and where we're gonna meet?” At first Changbin wanted to deny it but then he thought, Minho and Chan were already friends so that would not be a problem. Felix and Jisung… he would have to see how that would go. So he nodded lightly. Softly he patted Hyunjins shoulder and then turned around.

“See you Hyunjin.” Hyunjin on the other side watched him walk away. He was confused because he didn't expect Changbin to be so nice and comfortable to be around. He didn't even want to think of the moment when Changbin layed down some of the fish on his bowl when he noticed Hyunjin liked it quite a lot. It had taken him by surprise. Of course he had rolled his eyes but when he ate the piece of fish it tasted much better than the pieces he had eaten previously. With a shook of his head, to let go of his thoughts, Hyunjin walked home.

IV

“Why didn't you tell us all of them would come?”, Minho hissed into Changbins ear. The two stood next to the kitchen in Minho's apartment, looking at the four men that had just arrived.

“I'm sorry Hyung. I thought you would say no. But I'm surprised Chan didn't say anything."

"I swear I will air fry you", Minho muttered. For a second Changbin stared at his Hyung but then a small smile appeared on his face.

“You wouldn't do that. Who would make sure we got to the Tv show then?” Minho let out a frustrated sigh and rolled his eyes.

“Lucky you. I swear I will fry you when all of this has ended.” But in the next second his face lit up a bit when Chan was walking towards the both of them. The older one hugged him.

“Hyung”, Minho let out a whine and tried to break away from Chan but he didn't let him. With big eyes Changbin watched the two men. He was fascinated by the way his Hyung interacted with the older young man. In their friend group Minho was the oldest so it was something new to see him not be the oldest.

“I'm also happy to see you, Minho”, Chan answered in a higher voice, hugging him a bit tighter before he let him be. When he saw Minho's face he couldn't hold back and started to laugh. Changbin also started to grin. He could get used to the way Minho acted around Chan.

“What are you guys laughing about?” Jisungs voice filled the air and the next second he wrapped his arm around Chan, checking out Changbin and then Minho. For a moment Jisungs eyes stayed on Minho. It was just a second but it was enough for Minho to get nervous. Changbin raised one eyebrow and gave Minho a look but he was ignored by his Hyung.

“Hey Changbin.” Changbin looked towards Hyunjin. The first thing he noticed was Hyunjins blond hair.

“You bleached your hair. It looks good on you”, he muttered, stroking through Hyunjins hair. Hyunjin felt his cheeks warm up against his will. Hyunjin looked away and greeted Minho with a nod.

“Alright let's go into the living room. Minnie and Innie are waiting there for us.”

Changbin was the first that went into the living room. He saw Seungmin and Jeongin sitting on the sofa and nearly jumped on both of them.

“What's up?”, he laughed and greeted both of them, Changbin had arrived just a few minutes before the four other men.

“Hyung stop”, Jeongin whined. “You are embarrassing.” With a little giggle Changbin got up from both of them and winked at Jeongin. Seungmin smirked and poked the younger one into the side.

Behind Changbin the other walked into the room.

“Nice room, Minho-ssi. I love that you have so many plants.”

“Thanks.” All three, Seungmin, Jeongin and Changbin looked at each other and then at their Hyung. It was rare for Minho to thank them, he would show it in another way but to hear Minho thank Jisung was really rare.

“He is up to something”, Seungmin mumbled, receiving a nod from both Jeongin and Changbin.

“What have you planned? Hyunjin didn't want to tell us anything”, Felix asked, as he fell down on the pillows that were laid down on the floor. He smiled up at the others.

“Nothing much. We want to order pizza, we didn't do that in ages and boba later. Maybe play some mario kart.” Changbin could see how Felix's eyes lit up.

“Finally someone that also likes to play mario kart.”

“He acts like we never play any games with him”, Chan grumbled and rolled his eyes, still he could hold back a little smile.

“But I always have to beg you.” A sad pout formed on Felix's lips.

“Is he always this cute?”, Changbin asked, not letting his eyes on the younger one. He didn't know Felix from their dance lessons back when they were children because Felix moved from Australia to Korea only a few years ago.

“It's his natural element”, Hyunjins answered, looking back and forth between Changbin and Felix. If he didnt know it any better he would think Hyunjin was jealous that he called the australian boy cute.

Hyunjin and Jisung were still standing.

“Will you be standing there the entire time or will you sit down with us? Because if you two keep standing, please find another place that is not right in front of the television”, Minho scold the two younger men. With wide eyes Jisung stared at him but didn't move, while Hyunjin went up to Changbin and sat next to him on the side rest of Minho's sofa. Hyunjin, who was taller than Changbin anyways, looked even taller as he looked down at him.

“Minho nearly wanted to kill me when he saw that not just you but all of your crew entered his apartment.” Hyunjin started to giggle and then looked at Changbin with a stupid grin.

“I would like to see that.” The older one let out an offended sound and pushed Hyunjin a little, who lost balance and nearly fell off the sofa. Not just Changbin but also Seungmin and Jeongin started to laugh. With red cheeks Hyunjin tried to stare Changbin down but he was too embarrassed to make it work.

“Never do that again”, he whispered and slapped the other one lightly against his shoulder. They looked at each other for another minute before Changbin looked away and noticed that Jisung now sat in front of Minho on the floor, having his back against the armchair.

Changbin was not fully there the first half hour of their meeting. He was staring at his hands or the tv without really reacting to anything.

“What's with you?”, he heard Hyunjin whisper against his ear. Now he could also feel the weight of the other on his side. Slowly he looked at him.

“Why do you care?” His mouth was faster than his brain. He saw how Hyunjin pressed his lips together and stared at him for a second before he shook his head. He sat up again, crossed his arms before his chest and didn't give him any attention. The older one felt bad for his words. Hyunjin noticed that he was spacing out and instead of being kind he was such a coward. Changbin noticed how his thoughts were getting more and more bustling when a controller was placed in his hand.

“It's your turn Hyung to play against Minho-Hyung, Chan-Hyung and Innie”, Seungmin explained. Changbin could see Chan's eyes grow big and his ears got all red. Of course Seungmin noticed Chan's red ears but he didn't say anything. Changbin smiled a little. But then the round started and all he could focus on was not to mess up completely in front of Hyunjin. He would also get teased into the unknown from Minho for forever.

He was miserable and so he got on the seventh place while Jeongin got on the first place, Chan on the second and Minho, even though he never really played, got on the fourth place.

“You suck at this”, Hyunjin whispered next to him with an arrogant smirk on his lips.

“Well then do it better than me”, Changbin challenged the younger one and looked up to him. Still with a lot of confidence Hyunjin grabbed the controller, all his focus was now on the tv. He played well. Way better than Changbin. He would definitely win. For a second Changbin hesitated but then he pulled the other man towards him. Hyunjin let out a surprised little scream. He was now half on top of the other. Changbin had one of his arms wrapped around Hyunjins small waist.

“You nearly fell off the sofa”, said Changbin to cover his action while Hyunjin just stared at him.

“Jinnie you lost”, Jisung laughed and grinned at him stupidly when the round ended.

“That's all your fault”, Hyunjins hissed, hitting Changbins chest but it was softer. The older one couldn't hide his smile. “I wish I could erase that smile from your face right now.” The smile on his face grew even bigger but he turned his head so Hyunjin couldn't see that.

Changbin nearly expected Hyunjin to back away again but to his surprise the younger didn't. While he played another round he leaned more against Changbins chest. He was probably doing it on purpose, Changbin thought. As a payback for the ruined round. Hyunjin was quite warm and Changbin felt jittery all of the sudden. He damned his heart that was probably taking him away. So he tried to distract himself, scrolling through instagram. He felt Jeongins glance on him and when he looked up, seeing his youngest friend to have a wide smirk on his lips, he couldn't resist rolling his eyes.

“Stop looking at me like that”, he hissed, getting Hyunjins attention. He turned his head as much as he could.

“Who should stop looking at you?” Changbins eyes grew big as he stared at the other one.

“Jeongin made a funny face. That's all”, Changbin said, nearly stuttering but he managed to get through it okay. Because he couldn't hold Hyunjins intensive glance he let his eyes travel around the room and they stayed on the clock.

“We should probably order soon. It's already past neun p.m.”

“Woah how time flies”, muttered Felix.

“Who will buy the pizza?”, Jeongin asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Rock, Scissor, Paper?”, Jisung asked, already getting up, looking happy for the challenge. Changbin rumbled but put his phone away.

“What?”, Hyunjin asked, his eyes on the older one, which made Changbin sigh.

“It's just that I always have bad luck with rock, scissor, paper. When it's just the four of us it's often me who has to pay.”

“Poor Binnie”, Hyunjin teased him with a wide smirk and a shimmer in his eyes that Changbin found really fascinating.

They started playing and as if Changbin predicted he lost and had to pay for all their pizza. Hyunjin was laughing lightly while the older one stared at him with half closed eyes.

“Stop, Hyunjinnie”, whined Changbin then with a big pout on his face but it made Hyunjin just laugh more. Softly he slapped the pout away from Changbins lips. It took him by surprise and he started laughing too.

“And who will buy boba?”, Felix asked and looked around.

“Well certainly not me. I'm already paying for your pizzas”, Changbin stated and luckily all agreed. He watched the other seven men play rock, scissor, paper.

“Your bad luck at the game ran off on me”, Hyunjin mumbled frustrated but took out his phone.

“Well I like that. It's because you laughed.” The blond man hummed.

The next few minutes eight men talked in a complete muddle. Both Changbin and Hyunjin went nearly crazy but after fifteen minutes everyone had said what they wanted and the both men ordered.

“I should have never asked whether my boys can come too. Now I have to pay for eight people and not just five.”

“Well I think it's not that bad. They get surprisingly well together”, Changbin muttered, looking at the others. “Especially Minho Hyung and Jisung.”

“I don't like him.”

“Well I guess that's a you problem. You just don't know him.”

“Yeah whatever.” For a moment the older one stared up to Hyunjin.

Later that night, when everyone started to leave, Changbin stared at Hyunjin who was now sitting next to Felix and Chan.

“I think I will go now too. It's pretty late already”, Changbin muttered and stood up. Slowly Hyunjin looked up to the older.

"Already? Do you need your grandpa sleep?", Hyunjin teased. For a moment Changbin was speechless and also couldn't think of a good comeback. He just snorted and shook his head.

"I will head home and have my grandpa sleep. Goodbye Felix, goodbye Chan-Hyung.", he waved them goodbye. "Hyunjin", he nodded with a light smile, then he went out and stopped at the kitchen, where Minho made some tea for all of them.

"Hyung, I'm heading home. I'm tired and just want to sleep. Will we see each other next week?" After a moment Minho looked at him and nodded.

"Sure. Oh and it was actually not that bad that the four of them came."

"Oh yeah I figured, Hyung", Changbin laughed and got out of the way when a sponge flew his way. "Love you too."

"Oh get lost!", Minho muttered but Changbin could see his red ears.

"Alright Hyung. See you", Changbin said, waving him goodbye and then started to get dressed. When he put on his jacket somebody stopped behind him.

"I'm coming with you", Hyunjin whispered after a second and started to get into his shoes and his jacket.

"Oh so you need some grandpa sleep too?", Changbin joked, but waited for the younger.

Eventhough it was spring, it was still quite cold outside when the both young men stepped out. They went side by side through the night.

V

A couple of days passed since they all met and after Changbin walked the younger one home, he didn't see Hyunjin in person again. But they texted throughout the days. Changbin found it strange but he was actually starting to enjoy their conversations. But sometimes he wondered whether Hyunjin also enjoyed their conversations as much as he did.

He just finished his lecture when his phone started vibrating. He was this close to just ignore it but then he let out a little sigh and fished his phone out of his back pocket.

Hyunjin

Hey

Hyunjin

Are you there?

Hyunjin

Changbin? Hello?

Changbin

Why would you spam like this?

Give me some time to respond!

Hyunjin

Oh right.

I forgot that you are old

Changbin

Excuse me?

I'm not even a year older than you!

Hyunjin

Still old, Honey!

With disbelief Changbin stared at the chat between Hyunjin and him. This man was something, he thought, shaking his head.

Changbin

What did you want by the way?

You probably didn't text me just to tell me that I'm old, right?

Hyunjin

Oh right, nearly forgot that haha

Hyunjin

Are you free today?

Changbin stopped walking, just staring at the text he just recieved. He knew that they had to meet again, otherwise he couldn't make Hyunjin fall for him but he also didn't think the younger one would ask him whether he is free. Lightly he placed one hand on his tummy, rubbing it slightly. Why was he getting nervous? He shook his head and started typing again.

Changbin

Depends

Why?

Hyunjin

Well I thought we could do something?

Changbin

Don't you have practice?

Hyunjin

Why do you know that?

Hyunjin

Nvm. The boys will understand why practice will be shorter today.

Changbin

Just because I'm not the leader of our dance group doesn't mean I don't know about the studio plan.

After that Hyunjin decided to not text him back and it was getting on him a bit. He was even unread. Maybe they started practising already, Changbin thought. Should he? With a little sigh, he changed his direction and started walking towards the dance studio instead of his home. He stopped at the boba shop and ordered tea. Luckily he remembered what they all liked, because due to the boba shop being close to the dance studio, it had happened that both dance crews went to order boba at the same time.

A bit later, he walked with a bag full of tea towards the studio. He greeted the man standing behind the reception and took the stairs, after he looked up which studio Hyunjin had booked.

He heard the music even outside the studio so he didn't even bother to knock because they would not hear him. Carefully he opened the door and slid in the studio. Within seconds the music was stopped and he had the attention of all four men.

“What are you doing here?” He heard Hyunjin.

“Weren't you the one that asked me whether I'm free? I thought, why not wait for you to finish here?,” Changbin explained and then held up the back full of tea. “I also bought tea for everyone.” Felix was the first one that stopped in front of him.

With big eyes he watched how Changbin placed the cups in front of him.

“Thank you, Hyung”, Felix said with a big smile on his face and grabbed one of the cups. Changbin returned his smile and felt quite happy when Felix called him Hyung. Jisung and Chan both grabbed their teas. Changbin looked up, seeing Hyunjin standing next to the sound system, writing something down in a notebook. Slowly he walked up to the younger one, putting his tea in front of him.

“This one is for you”, he nearly whispered into Hyunjins ear, liking the effect he had on the other one. Hyunjin tried to play it off but he couldn't hide his ears that slightly turned red.

“Thank you”, Hyunjin muttered, showing him a little smile. Changbin just nodded and then decided to sit down against the wall on the opposite side of the mirror.

“What are you doing?” Changbin watched Hyunjin with confused eyes.

“Do you want me to wait outside until you are finished?”, he asked with sarcasm in his voice. For a second Hyunjin stared at him, not knowing what to do but then he nodded.

“Right, right.” After that Hyunjin started the music again and ran in front of the others.

“Five, six, seven, eight”, he counted and they started to dance. Changbin watched silently and to be fair he understood why their old dance teacher also gave them the chance to go to the tv show. They were good. All of them. He thought maybe he would be bored, but he wasn't. He couldn't get his eyes off of Hyunjin. The way the blond one moved his body to the music was just hypnotising. He didn't even notice how the time flew till the music stopped and Chan, Felix and Jisung started packing their things up. He rubbed his eyes and looked towards Hyunjin who was also packing up his things. Slowly he stood up and walked towards the other one.

“So”, he started leaning against the wall next to Hyunjin with his arms crossed. “What do you want to do now?” After a moment Hyunjin looked up after changing his shoes and looked at him.

“Well to be honest I don't really know.” A bit shocked, Changbin stared at him.

“You don't know? I just wasted nearly two hours waiting for you because you don't know what we will do now?” Maybe he was a bit angry. But just a little bit. A tiny bit but he decided Hyunjin didn't need to know that. He saw the slight panic in Hyunjins and really tried his best not to laugh. “What do you think about the amusement park?,” Changbin asked after another moment and watched Hyunjins eyes grow big.

“That's an amazing idea, I haven't been at an amusement park in ages”, he said, jumping up and down in tiny. Seeing Hyunjin like that made Changbin feel all warm and happy. With a small smile he watched the younger man. “Okay let's go!” Hyunjin grabbed the older one hand and together they exited the studio.

When they arrived at the amusement park it was quite full but Changbin did not expect anything different.

“What do you want to do first?”, Changbin asked, looking towards the blond haired one. But Hyunjin was not even really there. He was staring at everything with big, shiny eyes. To be honest Changbin had never seen him like this. Hyunjin seemed so happy right now. Softly he grabbed Hyunjins hand and pulled him towards the big wheel. “You don't have a fear of heights, do you?”

“No I don't”, he mumbled softly. They had to wait a bit till they were at the beginning of the waiting line but it didn't bother Changbin as much as he thought. Of course with Minho, Seungmin or Jeongin he would have talked a lot more but he didn't feel uncomfortable standing next to Hyunjin. When they finally could go on the big wheel they were lucky enough to get one just for themselves. Hyunjin was sitting on the opposite side of him. It was already getting dark and the small colourful lights danced over Hyunjins face.

“You are staring?”, Hyunjin laughed with a smirk on his lips.

“You have something on your nose”, Changbin lied, avoiding meeting the younger one's eyes.

“If you say so”, Hyunjin giggled. He knew Changbin didn't tell the truth.

“Can you, can you maybe take a picture of me?”, Hyunjin asked after a moment. Now Changbin met his eyes again and started to smile softly. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started taking pictures.

“I really hope that there will be some nice pictures, Binnie. It would be a shame if none of these pictures would come out good”, whined Hyunjin pouting for a second. For a second Changbin stopped with what he was doing and just admired the other one pouting.

“Have a little faith in me”, he then muttered, rolling his eyes and started to grin. He took three more pictures of Changbin. “Finished.”

“Thanks… Do you also want me to take some of you too?”, Hyunjin asked, taking the older one by surprise.

“I'm not that photogenic”, he muttered while he shook his head. Hyunjin gave him an offended look.

“You are joking, right?” Not waiting for an answer, he took Changbins phone and then looked at him. For a moment Changbin just stared back at the younger man but then with some hesitation he started posing. “And you said, you are not photogenic”, Hyunjin laughed, shaking his head. To Changbins surprise Hyunjin suddenly stood up and then sat down next to him. The whole gondle started shaking.

“Are you going crazy?”, Changbin muttered with big eyes. Laughing, Hyunjin held the phone up again.

“Let's take some selfies together.” While Changbin still needed to process what was happening, Hyunjin started to take pictures of him. After a moment Changbin also started to pose. Carefully he placed an arm around Hyunjins shoulder and pulled him closer. Hyunjin let out a surprised noise and his eyes grew big. Suddenly Changbin felt all warm from the inside and he couldn't hold back a smile. Hyunjin took a few more pitcure before they were down again and had to leave the big wheel. “Will you send me the photos later on?”, Hyunjin asked as soon as they stood on the street again. Changbin just nodded, looking around to find something they could do next. “I know what we could do next”, Hyunjin muttered while he started to walk.

About an hour later, the two just came out of a rollercoaster, Changbins stomach started to rumble. With a smile, which looked very teasing to Changbin, Hyunjin stopped in his tracks and gave him a look.

“There might be somebody that's hungry”, he joked with a big smile on his lips.

“Oh fuck off”, Changbin whined and tied to push Hyunjin a bit but the other one was fast enough to step out of the way.

“Come let's get something to eat”, Hyunjin suggested. Changbin let out a small sigh but then nodded with his hand on his stomach. He really was starting to get hungry.

“But let me buy the food this time, okay?”

“Sure, but I will decide where we eat”, Hyunjin giggled and started to walk. Changbin catched up with the younger one. The two walked side by side as Hyunjin looked for an interesting restaurant. “What about hot dogs?” Changbin nodded slightly and walked towards the food truck. His stomach started to rumble even more when he saw the food, which looked so good. Sadly they had to wait a while till they could order. When they finally had their hot dogs they looked for a more calmed down place to sit down and eat.

As they sat down Changbin moved closer to Hyunjin.

“I forgot my jacket. I didn't think it would get that cool”, he whispered as he was pressed against Hyunjins side. For a second the other one watched him with suspicious eyes.

"Yeah sure", Hyunjin then huffed which made Changbin just roll his eyes. In silence they ate their hot dogs, while Changbin was still pressed against the younger one. When Hyunjin had finished his hot dog he looked towards Changbin, who couldn't hold back a laugh when he saw that the blond man had some sauce on his bottom lip.

"Why are you laughing?", Hyunjin whined, bumping lightly into the other one. Instead of answering Hyunjin, Changbin grabbed a tissue and wiped the sauce away. With big eyes and red cheeks Hyunjin looked at him.

"Are you a baby that can't eat properly?", Changbin teased.

"Oh stop it Binnie!", he huffed. He tried to look angry but failed due to his flustered state. Of course Changbin did not miss the nickname but he kept quiet. In silence Changbin finished his hot dog.

"Do you want to go home? It's pretty late", Hyunjin whispered, stood up and held his hand out to Changbin who took it. Casually he rubbed his arm around Hyunjins fine shoulders and together they started walking towards the exit. The park was nearly empty, just a few couples were walking along with them or in other directions.

"Thank you for taking me here, Oppa. These little pictures are so cute", Changbin and Hyunjin heard a young woman say to a young looking man.

"Oh there must be a photo booth. Can we take some photos before we go?", the blond hair man asked, all excited, jumping up and down a little. Changbin felt all warm seeing the younger one like this. Again and again Hyunjin took him by surprise. He was so different from what Chanbin knew.

"If you want that", he muttered after a moment, feeling how a smile formed on his lips.

Enthusiastically Hyunjin pulled him towards the photo booth. It was a tiny booth and they nearly had no space.

"Hyung, you are too big. I have no space", Hyunjin whined while he slapped the other once packed biceps and shoulders. With a loud laugh Changbin flexed his arms and wiggled with his eyebrows.

"Oh come on, you like that." Hyunjin let out a huff and rolled his eyes.

"In your dreams", he muttered, still trying to make some space for himself.

"Come here", Changbin said without thinking and patted his thigh. For a moment Hyunjin stared down at him but then sat on his thigh. To make sure he was more stable, Changbin placed his hand on Hyunjins hip. He could feel the other one's eyes on him and could feel his ears getting warm but he tried brushing it off while activating the photo booth. They took many photos and in the end it was quite difficult to house only four of them. When they finally had decided which one they wanted, Hyunjin stood up and escaped the booth to look at the finished photos. Changbin on the other hand still sat in the booth staring into nothing. He felt strange. But he couldn't identify what that feeling was. He let out a little sigh, stood up too and left the photo booth. Hyunjinwas looking at the pictures and ripped them into two identical stripes. He was holding one of them out.

"Thanks", Changbin muttered, before he looked at them for a second and then placed them into his pocket. "Let's go now." With that they went towards the next train station, Changbin had a big chaos in his mind. He was kinda overwhelmed by what happened today. He did not expect to actually have fun going out with Hyunjin. But in the end it was all because of the tv show. If he was honest with himself it would be an absolute waste to just think they could become friends.

"I need to take another line", Hyunjin gets him out of his mind. "We will text, right?" Slowly Changbin nodded and waved the younger one goodbye as he stepped away.

VI

"But we had planned it for so long, Hyung", Changbin whined and started to pout. Minho tried to avoid his eyes and looked out of the window instead.

"I'm meeting someone", he muttered.

"And that can't wait until after this weekend? Please Hyung."

"Chanbin I know we planned it and you were excited", Minho said with a soft tone that Changbin didn't hear that often from him.

"Then why is this meeting so important that you cancel your short trip?"

"Because it's a date." Changbins eyes turned big.

"A date? Hyung!" Changbin was now all excited and got closer to the older man. He poked Minho in the side and smirked.

"I shouldn't have told you", Minho hissed but his ears were still red.

"Who is it?", Chanbin asked curiously.

"I'm not telling you." Minho crossed his arms in front of his chest. Chanbins smirk got only wider.

"Do I know them? Is it the person you talked about when we made the bet?"

"Oh shut up before I make you!" Changbin started to laugh at Minhos respond.

"So it is one or the other. Maybe even both. Very interesting." Minho let out a little sigh and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Think what you wanna think, Changbin."

"I will… and Hyung." Minho just hummed and finally looked back at him. "I'm happy for you and I hope you date will work out." A small smile appeared on Minhos lips and a shy laugh escaped his mouth.

"Thanks." They ate in silence till Minho stopped and looked at the younger man again.

"Why don't you take Hyunjin with you?" That took Changbin by surprise and he started coughing.

"Are you crazy? Why would I do that?"

"Because there is only one big bed and it could be an amazing chance to make him fall for you."

"Hyung do you really think I could do that? Make him fall for me?" For a long moment Minho just looked at him.

"You have a very special charm, you are handsome and you are one of the kindest human beings I know." Changbin started to laugh and escaped Minhos glance and hid his face behind his hands.

"Wait, what do you mean with special charm?" Now Minho laughed loudly and tried to defend himself when Changbin attacked him.

"I will write him", Changbin announced after they sat down again. With a stunned look Minho stared at him, still breathing heavily after getting attacked by the younger one.

"Are you serious?" Unsure about it, Changbin nodded.

"It's actually a good idea, I think?"

"Then do it." With shaking hands Changbin grabbed hus phone and opened his chat with Hyunjin.

Changbin

Hey

Hyunjin

Oh the old man is writing me first this time

Changbin

Don't let me regret this

Hyunjin

Sorry ;)

Changbin

Do you want to go on a trip?

Hyunjin

What?

"Maybe that was not a good idea", Changbin whined, already getting anxious. Minho nearly rolled his eyes.

"It sounds like you care, Changbin", he muttered with a strange look on his face. As if he knew something more than Changbin himself did.

Changbin

Do you want to go on a trip?

Changbin

Minho and I planned a trip to the ocean but he can't go

Hyunjin

So I'm your second choice?

Hyunjin

I'm disappointed

Changbin went through his hair.

"I think I fucked it up", he laughed nervously.

Hyunjin

When and where?

Changbin

This weekend…

Changbin

Well tomorrow and I will drive us

Hyunjin

You can drive? Nice

Hyunjin

Alright. I guess we will start early in the morning?

"Hyung, I think I didn't fuck it up!", Changbin muttered. Then a big smile grew on his lips and his heart started to beat faster. His tummy felt all warm now. "He just agreed to it." He could hear a little laugh from Minho.

"You are so whipped." If stares could kill, Minho would be dead now.

Changbin

Yes I will be in front of your apartment at 7 a.m.

Changbin

You just need to send me your address

Hyunjin

I swear you just wanted my address.

Hyunjin

Sneaky you

Hyunjin

I will send you the address later on

With a happy smile Changbin turned off his phone and laid it on the table.

"He will send me the address later." Minho nodded lightly and with a soft smile on his face. Again Changbin felt like Minho knew more than even he did.

"Do you already know what you will do with your date?"

"It's a secret."

"Oh come on Hyung. Please tell me. I will find out sooner or later anyways." Minho nearly rolled his eyes but just let out a small huff.

"You are so annoying sometimes. You know that?" With a big pout Changbin was staring at the other man. A sigh escaped Minho's lips. "Maybe we will go to the amusement park or go eat something at the river. Maybe also karaoke? I don't know yet."

"Oh, those are some good ideas. If you still need a restaurant, Hyunjin and I once went to a cute little restaurant with amazing food." Minho's eyes lit up a little bit.

"You have to tell me where it is. Maybe we can go there." With a wide smile Changbin nodded.

"Sure."

VII

It was 10 past 7 in the morning and Changbin was standing with his car in front of the apartment complex where Hyunjin lived. Inpatient his fingers drummed against the steering-wheel. He already texted Hyunjin. Hyunjin tho let the older man wait. He grabbed his phone again and was ready to call Hyunjin, when the door to his passenger seat was opened.

"I'm sorry for being late. I overslept", Hyunjin apologised and closed the door behind him again. Changbin noticed that Hyunjins eyes were still small and it looked like he would fall asleep right away again. "But I got us a few snacks for the drive and also two cups of americano. I hope you like these." He placed his bag between his legs and handed Changbin one of the cups. Changbin was speechless but took the cup from the blond haired man.

"Thank you" He took a big sip and let out a small sigh of satisfaction.

"Alright let's go." Changbin started the car and got out of the parking space. Because it was still quite early there were not many people on the streets and they were soon on the highway. Hyunjin had made himself comfortable in the seat. He was looking outside the window.

"If you want, you could play some music", Changbin muttered and even though he said it very quietly, it sounded loud in the car. Slowly Hyunjin turned his head towards the older man.

"I can do that", he mumbled and connected his phone to the car. Precautionary, Changbin turned down the volume a bit. The next moment a song Changbin didn't know started to play. He lit the beat and started to drum against the wheel again.

"Wait, is this Chan Hyung?", he asked, surprised and a bit unsure whether his ears betrayed him.

"Yes, Hyung and Jisung actually. They make music together."

"They do? Wow, that's amazing. I wish I could do such a thing, too."

"If you want, I could ask whether you can come too the next time they meet to maybe sit by the side and listen to what they do?" For a moment Changbins stared at him before looking at the street again.

"You would do that?" Only out of the corner of his eyes could he see how Hyunjins started to smile.

"Of course. If it makes you happy, why not?"

"Thank you", was all Changbin could get over his lips. To say he was happy was an understatement.

During their ride they sing loudly to songs made by Day6 and Taylor Swift. Hyunjin sang along with Taehyungs “Sweet Night´s” and Changbin rapped along with some fast paced rap-song. He was really getting into it and Hyunjin hyping him up, made him just more competitive.

“Wow you are actually really good at it”, Hyunjins mumbled, hitting Changbins shoulder lightly.

“You sound so surprised”, the older man laughed.

“Sorry, Hyung.” Hyunjin started to giggle lightly. His face softened. "No really. You are good at it." They sang song after song, till Changbin stopped in front of a small house.

"You booked the whole house for the weekend?", Hyunjins asked surprised.

"My sister's best friends parents are the owners of this holiday house and we can sometimes book it for a small price", Changbin explained laughing. "Otherwise I couldn't afford that." When he looked at the blond man, he saw a little smile on Hyunjins lips. "Let's go inside." Hyunjin nodded slightly and followed the shorter one into the holiday house. They got out of their shoes and Changbin started to show everything to Hyunjin.

“It just has one bed but that's no problem to you, right?” Changbin tried to be as casual as possible but if he was honest, he was quite nervous. For a moment Hyunjin was staring at him with wide eyes.

“You want us to sleep in the same bed?” A small smirk appeared on Changbins lips.

“What? Is Hwang Hyunjin afraid he might fall for me when he sleeps in the same bed as me?”, Changbin teased the younger man and wiggled his eyebrows. Hyunjin on the other hand grimaced and looked at him with disbelief.

“I think you should be more concerned about that”, he nearly hissed, before he let his big bag fall down next to the bedside that was near the window. “And you wanted to sleep with Minho-ssi here? In one bed?” Was Hyunjin looking with suspicion in his eyes at him.

“We have been best friends since primary school when I was a new kid. We know each other's ugliest moments. Believe me there could never be something more than friendship”, Changbin explained, while he got out of his jacket. “And he has a date tomorrow.”

“Is that why he didn't come with you?” With a thin smile Changbin nodded and shook his shoulders. “Wait tomorrow? With whom?”

“He didn't want to tell but I know that he has a crush on this person for some time now and that I know them, why?” Fastly Hyunjin closed the distance between the two of them, and grabbed his arm.

“Because Jisung has a date tomorrow and didn't want to tell us who it is. Normally we are the first ones to know but he got all shy and didn't want to tell us anything.” It kinda made sense. Changbin still remembered the atmosphere when the eight of them met up.

“I'm honest with you. I also thought that maybe his date is Jisung. They would look cute together.” Now Hyunjin stared at him with a disgusted look. “Stop looking like that! Just because nobody likes you, doesn't mean other people can't go on dates and fall in love.” As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he made a mistake. Hyunjins eyes stopped sparkling for a second and his expression fell.

“I think I forgot something in the car. Can I get the key?” Without another word, Changbin gave him the key and watched him walk out.

“You are so stupid!”, Changbin hissed, hitting his own head and then bit his lip. He didn't even want to say such a thing. With a low sigh, he walked out of the bedroom and grabbed some soda that was in the fridge. When Hyunjin returned, he looked a bit more like before but Changbin could still sense Hyunjins hurt and he felt so dumb.

"Do you want a soda too?" He already opened the fridge and then held the soda towards Hyunjin. Carefully Hyunjin grabbed the soda and opened it.

"Thank you", he muttered with a tiny smile. "Did you plan anything?" Changbin let himself down on the sofa and then looked up to the younger man, who sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"I just wanted to relax a bit but you sound like you have something in mind, or am I wrong?", Changbin chuckled and took another sip. He saw how Hyunjins cheeks started to look like someone painted them pink.

"Well after you ask me to come along, I looked up what kind of things you can do here", Hyunjin muttered, playing with his soda and avoiding Changbins glance.

"Alright, then let's do whatever you want. Oh, we also need to visit the beach, but we need to do that in the evening. It's nicer then." Hyunjins eyes were big again and he looked all excited.

"We absolutely need to go there, too. But what do you think about breakfast first?" Right after Hyunjin finished his question, Changbins stomach started growling. For a second they stared at each other with big eyes before they burst into laughter. Hyunjin nearly fell off his chair but catched himself at the last second.

“Breakfast sounds good to me. I know a nice café, we could go to”, Changbin said, still a bit out of breath. When he looked at the other, he saw Hyunjin smiling again and it made him more happy than he would admit.

After they both finished their sodas they started to get ready, left the house and Changbin led them to a small café close to the ocean but a bit more up. It was quite full already.

“Maybe you should find us a nice table.”

“Is outside also alright?”, Hyunjin asked, gesturing towards the terrace. Changbin started nodding.

“Sure. What do you want?” Hyunjin was already walking away but turned around again.

“Iced americano with caramel syrup and something sweet or so.” Changbin was watching Hyunjin walk away before he turned around and walked towards the bar. Now he regretted telling Hyunjin to find them a table. There was so much delicious looking food, he did not know what to buy. Luckily he had some time to think about it. In the end he bought something sweet for both of them and coffee and started to search for Hyunjin. The younger man had chosen a table on the terrace.

When he walked closer, he saw that someone was talking to Hyunjin. Maybe he just imagined it but Hyunjin looked more than uncomfortable.

“Next time you are going to order. If we keep up like this I'm gonna be poor in no time”, he started to rumble out loud and placed the tray down. Only now he looked up again and stared at the woman who had been talking to Hyunjin. She was probably two or three years younger than himself.

“Next time I will pay, Binnie. But thanks”, Hyunjin said with a smile and placed his hand on Changbin. Changbin felt his cheeks getting hot by such a simple action. He probably had a stupid wide smile painted on his lips but he couldnt change that. Slowly he looked towards the woman again.

“And you are?” he asked sharply, his smile had disappeared. With big eyes she looked at him before she bowed at them and stumbled backwards.

“I'm sorry, I had mistaken you for someone else I know”, she stuttered, before she disappeared into the café. For a moment, both of them didn't say a thing, then Hyunjin let out a quivering sigh and squeezed Changbins hand.

“Thank god you arrived at the right moment. She asked whether I was alone or not and wanted my phone number”, Hyunjin explained, while he grabbed the americano and took a big sip.

“Sounds like I just came in time”, Changbin muttered, finally relaxing again.

“You know, you were quite scary, all serious and not smiling.” Changbin looked up from his drink and stared at Hyunjin.

“Well I'm not often like that.” Suddenly the younger man started to giggle, which took Changbin by surprise.

“You know, you are a bit like a chihuahua.” Changbin let out an offended noise.

“Excuse you?”

“Well it's true, isn't it? You are short and look cute but if you want, you could bite someone's finger off.”

“You think I'm cute?” At that Hyunjin rolled his eyes and looked at him in annoyance.

“Seriously that's all you hear?”

“I also heard the rest. I just decided to ignore that because I didn't want to give you the satisfaction”, Changbin muttered and then stuck out his tongue to Hyunjin. “And now let's eat. I'm hungry.” Hyunjins lips were curled up into a smile.

“Alright, Sir!”

VIII

They had walked around the whole day. Hyunjin wanted to visit a butterfly house which was next to a semi big botanical garden. They spent nearly the whole day in it but Changbin wasn't sad about it. He enjoyed how much fun Hyunjin had, how often he had a big ass smile on his lips and that sparkle in his eyes.

Finally Hyunjin had enough. Changbin let out a soft sigh. Even though he enjoyed their day, the walking had tired him out.

Suddenly Hyunjin stood in front of the shorter man.

“What will we do now?”, he asked with tired but happy looking eyes.

“Do you still want to watch the sunset? We could grab something to eat and then find a nice place to eat. What do you think?”

“Can we have Tteokbokki and Gimbap?” Changbin found it adorable how Hyunjin had asked him in a higher pitched voice. He couldn’t hold back his laugh. “Hey! Don’t laugh!”, the younger man pouted, shoving Changbin backwards but Changbin couldn’t stop laughing.

“Alright, alright! Sounds like a good idea”, he explained out of break, one hand in his hips.

Quite fastly they found a food truck that smelled Tteokbokki, Gimbap and a lot more amazing smelling food. For a second, just for a second both Hyunjin and Changbin thought about ordering something else but then they stood by their first idea and ordered the food alongside some beer. While they waited till the old lady cooked their food, Hyunjin, absolutely tired, started to lean against the older one. Well lean was an understatement. He was nearly laying completely on him. Hyunjin held his phone in a way Changbin could watch as well. The older one was softly patting Hyunjins back. Both of them didn’t even notice what they were doing until the old lady called them as she had finished their order. For a moment they frozed in their actions but then stepped back. With red cheeks and burning ears he grabbed the bag, bowed to the old lady and walked away. Hyunjin ran after him. They walked in silence for a while.

“I know that there is a lighthouse a bit further away from the main beach. It’s also beautiful and hopefully not as crowded”, Changbin started to explain and pointed at the lighthouse that was visible at the end of the town.

“What do you think? We could eat there.” Hyunjin didn’t need to think about it much. He just nodded and watched a happy smile appear on Changbins lips.

Within a few minutes they stood in front of the lighthouse and Changbin was right. They still had an amazing few and there were no other people with them. Hyunjin found them the, like he called it, perfect place. Changbin sat down next to him and handed Hyunjin the bag. While the younger one placed the food between them, Changbin opened a can of beer for each of them.

“You know I’m happy you asked me to come with you. It’s been so long since I went to the ocean”, mumbled Hyunjin between two bits. “I think the last time was when I was still in primary school and my parents surprised me with a trip to Busan for my birthday.”

“Jeongin is from Busan, did you know? His family moved when he was five.”

“Oh lucky him. Being born in such a beautiful city. Even though I was young, I still fell in love with the city”, Hyunjin told him with a soft smile. Suddenly Changbin felt all warm, watching Hyunjins smile.

"You definitely need to show me the city."

"Does that mean the next time I'm your first choice for going on a trip?"

"If you want to go of course", Changbin muttered with a shy smile on his lips. With a wide smile, Hyunjin took a sip of his beer.

"I will hunt you, should we not go there together." Changbin snorted with laughter and shook his head.

"Oh yeah? And how will you do that?"

"Don't underestimate me, Hyung. I will get you when you don't think about it", Hyunjin smiled a sly smile.

"Yeah of course Hyunjinnie."

After that they ate in silence and drank their beer. With a fascinated smile the younger one of the two watched the sunset. He took plenty of pictures and maybe, just maybe he also took a few of Changbin who was laying on one hand behind him.

When the sun was down it got surprisingly colder and the two young men decided to walk home.

"I should have taken my jacket with me. I didn't expect it to get this cold", Hyunjin whined, rubbing his arms with his hands. Without saying anything, Changbin got closer and pulled Hyunjin to him. For a moment Hyunjin freezed but then he slowly placed his one arm over Changbins shoulders.

"You are too tall", the shorter man grumbled, showing Hyunjin his pout.

"I'm not too tall, you are just too short", Hyunjin replied laughing.

"You take that back!"

"I will absolutely not do that, shorty."

"You should run", Changbin muttered then and a sly smile appeared on his mouth. And Hyunjin started running.

"You are crazy, Hyung", he screamed but couldn't hold back his laugh as he ran in the direction of their holiday house.

"You should run faster. I'm right behind you", Changbin shouts. That was a lie but Hyunjin didn't need to know that.

"Got you", Changbin exhaled against Hyunjins neck, hugging the younger man from behind.

"Only because you have the key to the house and I couldn't enter", Hyunjin hissed back, but without any bite. Changbin behind him was warm and made Hyunjin feel strangely lightheaded.

"You can tell yourself that Jinnie." Hyunjin snorted and rolled his eyes, escaping Changbins hug.

"Can you open the door? It's cold, Hyung."

"Of course." Changbin fished the key out of his pocket and opened the door.

In silence they started to work on their bedtime routine. While Hyunjin cleaned his face, Changbin brushed his teeths and watched the younger one through the mirror in front of them.

“Can you give me the small towel?”, Hyunjin asked with his eyes closed and one extended hand.

“The red one?”

“Yes, the red one.”

“There you go”, Changbin muttered and handed the towel out. Hyunjin mumbled something against the towel, which Changbin could’t understand, but assumed was a thank you. For a second he debated whether he should wait for Hyunjin to finish his routine or already go to their bedroom. He didn't want to be rude but saying even though he finished his routine would also be awkward.

“You can already go. You don't have to wait for me”, Hyunjin whispered as if he read the other one's mind and knew what he was thinking about. At that Changbin just nodded and walked towards their shared bedroom. He got under the blanket and let out a small sigh. Finally feeling the soft bed under him after such a long day felt amazing. He texted Minho a bit while waiting for Hyunjin to come out of the bathroom.

His eyes felt heavy when Hyunjin finally appeared and let himself fall next to Changbin onto the bed.

“I thought you would already be asleep”, he whispered, getting under the covers.

“Nah, I texted with Minho-Hyung. He still is very closed up about his date.”

“Do you still think Jisung is his date?”

“I think so. It would make sense to me”, Changbin explained while turning his head so he could face Hyunjin. Slowly Hyunjin nodded.

“Jisung is very dear to me. We didn't get along at first and fought quite a lot but he is one of my best friends now. Maybe it doesn't seem this way but he went through some shit in his life. I just don't want him to get hurt, you know.”

“Should they really be each other's dates, I can assure you that Minho has no bad intentions. He may seem cold at first but he is one of the most caring human beings I have met so far. I would give that man the shirt off my back.” Again, Hyunjin nodded and a tiny smile appeared on his lips.

“I'm sorry for saying such hurtful things to you earlier. It was not fair of me to say nobody would date you. That's not true.”

“Oh and you know this from where?”, the younger one teased. Changbin could feel his cheeks getting warm and he was happy that it was already too dark in the room to see anything.

“I think I'll take it back.”

“No! I'm sorry, Hyung.” A hand was placed softly on Changbins arm. “And thank you for apologising. I'm also sorry for judging even though I don't know Minho-ssi well enough.”

"You are lucky he didn't hear it. He would have fed you tissues." At that, Hyunjin started to laugh.

“Okay but why could I see him doing that?” With an amused smile Changbin stared back at the other man. He didn't know where it came from but he felt this strange warmth within his body.

“Because he would. As a joke of course. He wouldn't apologise but he would treat you with dinner.”

“To be honest that's kinda cute.”

“It is, but don't tell him that.”

“I would never”, Hyunjin laughed and shook his head lightly.

Changbin returned his smile.

A loud yawn escaped Hyunjin's lips and he closed his eyes for a moment.

“Tired? Then let's sleep”, Changbin whispered.

“Good night.”

“You too.”

Hyunjin let his hand fall from Changbins arm and snuggled further under his blanket. The older one let out a slight sigh, placed his phone down on the nightstand and closed his eyes too.

Changbin had nearly fallen asleep when he suddenly felt Hyunjins warm body against his side.

“Hyunjin?”, he muttered quietly but got now answer. All he got was a constant breath against neck. For a second Changbin closed his eyes and debated what he should do. Hyunjin felt warm at his side and when he wrapped an arm around Changbins middle Changbin decided to ignore all his concerns. Slowly he pulled Hyunjin closer and wrapped him into his arms.

Hyunjin was right, Changbin himself should have been more concerned to share a bed with the other man. It was definitely not good for his heart. He was screwed.

IX

Hyunjin was still in the bedroom, while Changbin was preparing some food he bought earlier today when Hyunjin was still having his beautysleep. With his hands full, he walked out into the garden behind the little house. A few hours ago he opened the hot tub and started it.

He placed the plate on the small table next to the hot tub. In a bucket full of ice water were some soju Hyunjin had found in the basement and soda.

Hyunjin stepped out of the back door, a soft looking bathrobe was wrapped around his body and he had tied his hair back loosely. Changbin couldn't deny that the other man looked absolutely gorgeous and he also couldn't stop staring at him.

"You can already get into the tub, if you want. I will just change into my swimming trunks", Changbin muttered when Hyunjin finally stopped in front of him.

"Is everything outside already?", Hyunjin asked, looking around.

"Yes you can get into the hot water."

"You are too good for me, Hyung", Hyunjin whispered with a soft smile and opened his bathrobe slowly. Before Changbin could see much more, he escaped and walked with fast steps towards the holiday house. When he closed the bedroom door behind himself he let out a deep breath. He felt all warm suddenly. He stood there for a moment just staring against the wall but he had to change into his shorts. For a while he looked at himself in the mirror. Usually he would call himself quite confident. He liked his body but suddenly something felt off when he looked into the mirror. Some stupid part of his brain wanted to look good for Hyunjin but told him he wasn´t enough. Slowly he pulled his Shirt over his head again and then walked out into the garden.

He found Hyunjin already sitting in the water.

"What took you so long?", he asked when he saw Changbin approaching. But all Changbin could do was to shrug his shoulders. Silently he entered the tub and couldn't hold back the satisfied sigh that left his mouth. For a moment he closed his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Changbin opened his eyes again and looked at the younger man.

"Sure, why wouldn't I?" Maybe he did lie a bit but Hyunjin didn't need to know that. For a second Hyunjin looked at him, one eyebrow raised but then he nodded slowly and looked at the trees instead. Changbin was happy, Hyunjin didn't ask any further questions. He wasn't sure whether he could have continued with his lie.

"You said you bought some fruits?", remembered the younger man after a while. Softly Changbin nodded and grabbed the strawberries he had bought. He hold the small bowl towards Hyunjin so that he could choose which one he wanted. After eating the first one Hyunjin started to smile softly. It was a smile that made Changbin feel warm from the inside.

"Are they good?" When the younger man nodded enthusiastically Changbin started to laugh and nearly cooed. Hyunjin just looked adorable.

When Hyunjin grabbed one more strawberry, a smirk appeared on Changbins lips. He took hold of Hyunjins wrist and stole the strawberry.

"Hyung!", whined Hyunjin and got closer to get one more strawberry but Changbin held them out of Hyunjin's reach.

"You are right. They are really good", he muttered. When Hyunjin looked at him with a pout, a soft laugh escaped his lips and he held a strawberry in front of the younger man. For a moment Hyunjin waited as if to check whether Changbin would pull the strawberry away. When he did not, Hyunjin carefully ate it out of Changbin's hand.

They were so close now and Changbin wondered when that happened. Hyunjin was looking at him with big eyes and a soft smile. After a moment he felt Hyunjins slim fingers on his thigh. His thumb rubbed softly up and down Changbin's skin. Changbin let out a shaky breath and locked eyes with the younger man.

"Hyunjin", Changbin whispered, pulled him slowly closer and wrapped an arm around his body. For a second his eyes wandered lower. "Can I kiss you?" Hyunjin stared back at him and got even closer.

“Please”, whispered the younger man. Changbin couldn't say who made the final move but he didn't really care either. Hyunjins lips were as full as he had imagined them but they felt softer than he would have guessed. Slowly he placed one hand lightly on Hyunjins bag and started to carry his skin while he felt how the younger man played with his longer strands in the back of his neck that had already gotten wet. For a moment they separate but just to take a breath. Changbin let out a little huff when their lips met again and if possible he pulled Hyunjin even closer. He couldn't really describe the feelings he felt right now but he kinda liked them. They made him feel strangely comfortable.

Suddenly a loud sound interrupts them. It took a moment, but then Hyunjin pulled away, chest raising and lowering fastly. For a moment they met eyes and Changbin would lie if he said Hyunjin wasn't a second away from kissing him again but then he pulled away even further, drying off his hands to grab his phone.

“I'm sorry”, he muttered, stopping the alarm. “I made an alarm so we could call Jisung and see whether Minho is his date.” Changbin stared at him, not really understanding what the younger man had told him. He was still feeling Hyunjins lips on his. “I will call Jisung now, alright Hyung?” Changbin felt Hyunjins hand on his shoulder and finally he seemed to come back to the present. He nodded softly, looking up to the younger who looked down at his phone. A moment later, Changbin could hear Jisungs voice through the phone.

“Hyunjin?”

“Good to hear you. I just wanted to know how your date is going?” Changbin heard Jisung laughing.

“That is why you are calling? Are you bored on your short trip?” Nearly Changbin couldn't hold back his laugh.

“It's quite good actually”, defended Hyunjin and started to pout. “Will your date say hello too?”

“He will absolutely not do that.” Slowly Changbin grabbed his phone and started to search for Minho's number. “So that's why you called.” A ringtone went off. For a second Hyunjin looked confused at his phone but when he met Changbins glance he understood.

“Who is that?”, Jisung asked, clearly towards the unknown date that was with him.

“I'm gonna kill you the next time we meet, Changbin.” Now Changbin couldn't hold back his laugh anymore.

“I'm sorry, Hyung”, he said, still laughing.

“Yeah sure.” There was a short silence. “Just so you know, Jisung stopped working. I will take care of him.” And with that the phone call ended. Surprised, both men looked at each other before starting to laugh again.

“I will need to write Jisung later on so that everything is okay.”

“Minho will take care of him”, muttered Changbin with a warm smile. Slowly Hyunjin nodded and let out a soft sigh.

“I hope so.”

Suddenly there was a strange silence. Changbin met eyes with the younger man and didn't know what to say. Hyunjin was still so close, still on his lap, his legs next to his own. It seemed like Hyunjin didn't even notice he was still playing with Changbins hair.

“Do you still want a strawberry?”, Changbin muttered, holding up a strawberry to cut through the strange silence. Hyunjin took the strawberry from Changbin’s hand and slid down from the older man's lap. But he was still very close to Changbin.

“Thank you”, he whispered with a soft smile on his lips. All Changbin could do was to nod softly.

X

The next time Changbin met Minho was for their dance practice. When he walked into their practice room he saw the older man already warming up. Minho met his gaze through the mirror but looked away right after and somehow Changbin knew the older man was still mad at him. Slowly Changbin walked further in and started to warm up as well. They hadn't talked once and Changbin started to feel worse with every second.

Soon after Seungmins and Jeongins arrival they started to practise. He felt the glances of the two youngerest from time to time on his back when Minho scrolled him for something or made them redo a part of the choreo they had already mastered.

“If you dont to it right the next time, Changbin, I will kick you out I swear”, Minho hissed, staring at the younger man through half closed eyes. Out of breath Changbin stood up and met Minho´s glance.

“Hyung, please forgive me”, he muttered. “It was Hyunjins idea to call and not mine. Please don't be mad at me.” He bowed deep and then looked with pout on his face at Minho. The older man looked at him for a moment and then let out a sigh.

“You should apologise to Jisung and not me”, he muttered.

“Jisung? He was your date, Hyung?”, asked Jeongin, surprised and with big, wide eyes.

“I knew it”, laughed Seungmin at the same time.

“Look what you did!”, Minho hissed with red cheeks and even redder ears. “They will never let it go.” Changbin walked closer to his Hyung.

“They would have got the info sooner or later, Hyung.” Again Minho let out a deep breath but he knew Changbin was right and so he nodded softly. “How did it go?” If Changbin thought Minho was already red, he got even redder now.

“It was good.”

“Just good? Hyung we need more details”, Jeongin whined.

“What did you do? Where did you go?”

“I picked up Jisung and together we walked to the restaurant Changbin recommended”, explained Minho and a soft smile appeared on his lips. “Then we started to walk around. Talking about so much and it was comfortable. We stopped at a convenience store and ate ice cream.” Changbin started to smile. It sounded like Minho's date went well, when it lasted so long. “Then you and Hyunjin called and Jisung started to panic.”

“I felt bad for him. We didn't want to make Jisung feel bad.”

“You were just so nosy”, huffed the older man and rolled his eyes. “But lucky you I could calm Jisung.” Minho went through his hair. “We went home and had hot chocolate.”

“And?”, Jeongin asked.

“Maybe we held hands on the way to my flat.”

“And?”, questioned Seungmin.

“We cuddled on my sofa after drinking the hot chocolate.”

“And?”, digged Changbin deeper, receiving a bugged glance from Minho.

“Maybe we cuddled for hours and fell asleep.” His ears were all red again.

“Sounds like you had a great date, Hyung”, giggled Changbin with a wide smile.

“Oh shut it, Changbin!” But Changbin couldn't hold back his laugh.

“Let's get back to work”, exclaimed Minho and turned towards the stereo.

“I'm happy your date went well, Hyung”, said Changbin and he really meant it. For a moment he thought MInho would ignore him but when he started the music and walked up to them he muttered a soft thank you.

Later, when their practice was nearly over the studio door suddenly opened. Changbin stopped in his motion when he saw who had just slipped through the door. Jisung had a big smile on his face as he waved Minho, who had stopped in his motion and started to smile lightly.

“I guess practice is over”, Jeongin laughed and started to hide behind Seungmin as Minho attacked him but soon Minho let go of Jeongin. Instead he walked over to Jisung and greeted him. He looked at the two lovebirds and started to smile.

“Minho-ssi took good care of Seungie”, whispered Hyunjin right next to Changbin who hadn't even noticed the younger man getting closer. Slowly he looked at the other man.

“Yeah he did”, he replied and then shoved his hands into his pockets. “What are you doing here?” For a second it seemed to Changbin as if Hyunjin was sad but then an amused smile appeared on his lip.

“Jisung wanted to walk home with Minho-ssi but was too shy to come here all alone.” Changbin started to pout and looked up to Hyunjin.

“What? Does that mean you are not here because of me?”, he said with a huff and crossed his arms before his chest. A loud laugh escaped Hyunjins mouth and he leaned a bit forward so Changbin held him out of fear he would fall.

“Sucks being the second choice, doesn't it?” Changbin didn't know what to reply, so he kept silent. Instead he watched how Minho packed his bag and then waved at everyone before leaving together with Jisung.

“They are disgustingly cute, aren't they?”, Jeongin muttered as he shook his head. With a soft laugh Changbin nodded and then walked towards his bag. Only when he turned around he noticed that Hyunjin had followed him. For a moment the younger man kept silent, playing with his rings on his fingers.

“Are you free now?” A wide smile appeared on Changbins lips as he raised one eyebrow.

“Why? Does Hyunjinnie want to go on a date?” Immediately Hyunjins cheeks got redder and CHangbin liked how the younger one looked. Softly he rubbed one of Hyunjins cheeks and started to laugh when the other tried to slap his hand. “Did you have an idea where we could go?” Hyunjin looked dumbfounded and then shook his head. Changbin nearly wanted to teased him for this too but then held back because he didn't want Hyunjin to feel bad. Changbin shouldered his bag and started to walk, pulling Hyunjin with him. He waved Seungmin and Jeongin and opened the door for Hyunjin and himself.

“I know a place we could go to”, he informed the other one when they exited the studio complex.

Soon they stopped in front of the bubble tea shop with the gras wall.

“It looks so cute. It would be amazing to take pictures in front of the wall”, muttered Hyunjin next to Changbin, as they walked in. Changbin already knew what he would get but it seemed that Hyunjin was looking at the menu and didn't know what to get.

“You can order already”, Hyunjin muttered, his eyes still on the menu. As Changbin walked up to the counter, a young woman around their age greeted him with a soft smile. Fastly he ordered and stepped aside so Hyunjin could order as well. While their orders were made, they talked about their day. Mostly Hyunjin while Changbin just listened to him and sometimes nodded to show the younger man he was still listening.

When their orders were ready, Hyunjin walked up to the counter and took the tea. When he stopped in front of Changbin he looked somehow changed and held the tea out to him.

“Let's go”, he muttered, grabbed Changbins hand and pulled him out. For a moment, Changbin stared confused at the taller man.

“I guess you charmed that girl just by your looks”, muttered Hyunjin after a moment which made Changbin look surprised at him.

“What?”

“She wrote down her number on your cup.” And it was true. When Changbin checked his cup a number was written on it.

“Well I will definitely not text her. I don't even know her”, Changbin explained immediately. He was not sure whether he had just imagined it but it seemed that Hyunjin let out a deep breath and relaxed a bit. “But also is it so impossible that someone would like me just by my looks?”, asked Changbin, thinking about the comment Hyunjin made a little earlier.

“Of course not. You are good looking but just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they can't be an absolute asshole.” Changbin smiled softly at the compliment Hyunjin just made and didn't even realise it.

“You are right.” He took the last sip out of his cup and threw it away immediately. He met Hyunjins eyes with a smile and squeezed his hand softly.

XI

The next day Changbin was sitting together with Minho, Seungmin and Jeongin in the university refectory talking about an assignment when Seungmins phone made a sound. The younger man checked it and started to smile. Changbin raised one eyebrow, staring at Seungmin who absolutely ignored it.

“Before I forget”, muttered Seungmin instead, looking between the three men. “Chan-Hyung and Jisung-Hyung are going to perform in a pub on friday and Chan-Hyung asked me whether I would want to watch. Do you want to come too?” He was talking more to Changbin and Jeongin than to Minho and Changbin assumed that the older man already knew about this through Jisung.

“I'm already going. Jisung invited me”, Minho explained with cheeks that were slowly getting redder and redder.

“Nawww his Jisungie had invited him”, laughed Jeongin. Minho pointed at the youngest of the four.

“Be careful in your sleep.”

“I'm sorry hyung”, begged Jeongin with a big pout and even bigger eyes. For a moment Minho stared at him seriously but then a light smile appeared on his lips.

“Wait until you like someone. You will get everything back, Innie.” Jeongin was still smiling but it had faded a bit. He knew Minho wasn't joking.

“Let's hope that will happen very soon. I want to see it too”, laughed Seungmin, receiving a powerful thwack and a scandalised sound from Jeongin. Changbin started to laugh over their bickering.

“Sometimes they act like an old couple”, he muttered towards Minho who had a smirk on his face and nodded when he heard Changbins words.

“I will write Chan-Hyung and tell him you will come along”, explained Seungmin, already texting the older man. Not much later they all separated.

On his way to his next lecture he texted Hyunjin, asking whether the younger man would be there as well on friday. Surprisingly fast Hyunjin answers him with a yes. For a while Changbin and Hyunjin text and for the first time since he started studying he is sad when his professor walks in. He texted Hyunjin once more before placing his phone into his pocket. He tried his best but in the end he couldn't really follow whatever his professor was talking about. His mind was still full of Hyunjin.

XII

Changbin was checking himself in the mirror one last time. His legs were wrapped into slim fitting leather pants and he was wearing a black shirt tucked into his pants. He had borrowed some jewellery from Minho which made his outfit perfect. At least for him. He felt confident in it and didn't even let his mind wander back to remember who he felt when he was standing in front of the mirror last weekend.

He took a deep breath, grabbed his phone, keys and wallet and left his flat. Jeongin was waiting for him outside his flat and together they walked to the pub Chan and Jisung would perform. Earlier that day Minho and Seungmin had texted them separately that they would already be in the pub and would meet them there. After Seungmins text, Changbin was pretty sure Seungmin and Chan were a thing or at least were on their way to it. He had that feeling since they all met at Minho. He would need to watch the two more closely this evening.

Soon they were standing in front of the pub and luckily it was not as crowded yet so they were in rather quickly.

"I will text Seungmin-Hyung", said Jeongin over the loud music and pulled out his phone. Changbin kept looking around in the pub. Chan and Jisung had still half an hour till their performance and it was surprisingly empty. Changbin hoped that a lot more people would come to see the two men perform. When he felt Jeongins hand on his shoulder he turned his head back to the younger man and raised one eyebrow. But Jeongin just pointed towards the other end of the room where, next to the bar, was standing Seungmin in the door towards the private area obviously searching for them. Now that Jeongin had Changbin`s attention he started to walk towards Seungmin. Changbin followed with a little bit of delay.

When Seungmin finally spotted them, the smile on his lips grew into a bigger smile.

“Come in”, Seungmin said over the loud music. “You are the last one to arrive. The others have already arrived.” Behind himself Changbin closed the door and immediately it was quieter. Changbin let out a little sigh.

“In the beginning, the owner didn't want anyone other than Chan-Hyung and Jisung-Hyung in the private area but somehow Chan-Hyung changed the owners mind”, Seungmin explained as they walked up some stairs. He opened a door to their right and Changbin could hear them before he saw them. A big smile appeared on his lips when he heard Minho shout something.

“Seems like we are completed”, said Chan out loud when he saw Changbin and Jeongin appeared behind Seungmin. As Changbin closed the door behind him Seungmin let himself fall onto the sofa right next to Chan, who was wrapping an arm around the younger man's shoulder. Changbin waved at all of them. When his eyes landed on Hyunjin he stopped for a moment. Just a small little moment so he could take everything in as fast as he could. Then he met eyes with Hyunjin and it felt like his heart skipped a beat. He would have laughed but everyone would have thought he had lost it so he forced that nervous laugh down. When he sat down next to Hyunjin he could still feel Hyunjins glance on him.

“You look really handsome”, whispered Hyunjin after a moment of silence between them. While the others didn't seem to hear what Hyunjin had said, Changbin had heard him loud and clear and he was feeling his cheeks getting warmer with every second. He leaned a little bit closer and met Hyunjins eyes again.

“Says the one that looks absolutely stunning.” A clear laugh escaped Hyunjins lips as he pressed his eyes together and shook his head. A moment later the younger softly hid Changbin against his shoulder.

“You idiot”, Hyunjin muttered but still a smile was on his face now and Changbin chuckled at the sight of Hyunjin.

Changbin turned his attention towards his friends, watching them talk and joke around. He let out a low sigh and sank into the sofa even deeper. He felt strangely calm and safe surrounded by all of his close friends and the people who could soon become his close friends too.

When the pub owner came in half an hour later to tell Chan and Jisung they should get ready, Changbin didn't even want to stand up. He wanted to stay right there next to Hyunjin on that dark brown comfortable sofa. But when the other stood up he did the same, walking right behind Hyunjin. When they entered the open pub area Changbin noticed that it had gotten way more crowded. They wished Chan and Jisung good luck and they tried to find a good spot. He could feel Jeongins hand on his shoulder the moment he took hold of Hyunjins upper arm to not lose him and the others. They walked through the crowd till they found a place where they could see rather good.

When Chan and Jisung entered the stage, Changbin was surprised how different they seemed.

“Hey everyone!”, shouted Chan into his mic with a wide smile and the crowd started to cheer.

“I am J.One”, said Jisung.

“I am CB97 and we are 2racha. Let's have some fun!” Once again the crowd started to cheer and clap for the two young men. Changbin was getting excited. He wanted to know more of the songs the two created. And they didn't disappoint. Their voices were so unique and still fitted together.

“Damn they are so good. They are even better live”, muttered Changbin, surprised when Hyunjin next to him leaned in and nodded.

“They are”, he said. Hyunjin kept close and soon Changbin noticed how two arms wrapped around his bicep. With his free hand, met Hyunjins that held him. A wide smile appeared on his lips as he continued watching.

When Chan and Jisung left the stage after over half an hour, Changbin and the other five men slowly walked over towards the bar where the two performers stood. They had gotten some drinks from the pub owner and were talking to him. Seungmin was the first to reach the two and with a big smile he started to hug Chan.

“You were so good”, stated Jeongin.

“Thanks”, said Jisung, his eyes wandering towards Minho, who was right behind Changbin. From the corner of his eye he noticed as Minho softly smiled at Jisung and gave him a nod. And it seemed that when Changbin thought it couldn't get any bigger, Jisungs smile grew even more.

“You were amazing! I'm kinda jealous”, Changbin joked, leaning against the bar. Suddenly he felt Jisungs hands on his shoulders.

“You could do it too.”

“What?”

“Oh right! I nearly forgot to ask you”, laughed Chan. Changbin didn't understand anything. “Do you want to tag along the next time we meet to produce?”

“You would let me?” To say Changbin was surprised was an understatement.

“Of course. Hyunjin showed us some of the music you made and we think it's good.”

“Really good!”, Jisung commented with an enthusiastic nod that made everyone laugh. For a moment he met eyes with Hyunjin. He tried to say thank you without words but he wasn't sure whether Hyunjin had understood that.

“Thanks. And of course I will tag along.”

“Good, good”, sighed Chan and nodded multiple times. “We should celebrate this. First round on me.”

Some time later, Changbin had lost track of time, he found himself dancing on the rather small dancefloor. Some slower song was playing and Hyunjin was leaning against him, his arms wrapped around Changbins neck.

“Thanks for playing some of the tracks I had sent you to Chan-Hyung and Jisung”, he whispered softly.

“No problem”, mumbled Hyunjin against his shoulder.

“Are you tired?”

“A bit.”

“Let's get you home.”

“Nooooooo”, the younger man whined, clinging on Changbin. “Don't want to go. Want another drink.”

“I think you had enough, Jinnie.” It seemed as if Hyunjin wanted to protest against it but then he let out a deep sigh and nodded against Changbins shoulder. Changbin pushed Hyunjin away softly but kept holding off his hands. On his way out he said goodbye to Jeongin, Felix. Minho and Jisung had already left, saying they wanted to take a walk and Seungmin and Chan were busy sharing soft kisses.

"Piggyback?", asked Hyunjin as soon as they were outside. He looked at Changbin with a big pout on his lips and wide eyes. Changbins lips escaped a small laugh as he nodded.

"Come here, Jinnie", he muttered, turning his back to Hyunjin.

"Hyung is the best." With Hyunjin on his back he started to walk. Only a few minutes later he remembered that he didn't know where Hyunjin lived.

“Where do you live?”, he asked as he stopped in his tracks and turned his head slightly towards the younger man but he was met with silence. Changbin let out a small sigh and started to walk towards his own home. It was a struggle to open his door without letting Hyunjin fall off his back but somehow he got in. Softly, he placed Hyunjin on his sofa.

“Hyunjin please wake up?” Slowly, Hyunjin opened his eyes and looked at him.

“Want sleep”, the younger man muttered, leaning fully against Changbin, who was surprised by the sudden weight and nearly lost his balance. He brushed through Hyunjins hair and hummed.

“Of course, but let's get you out of your outdoor clothes first and get you something to drink.” With some delay Hyunjin nodded as an answer and started to get out of his shoes. In the meantime Changbin grabbed a glass of water and grabbed some more comfortable clothes for Hyunjin. When he returned, Hyunjin was out of his shoes and socks. “You can change into these and drink some of the water. I will get the bed ready for you and also change.” He placed the glass and the clothes on the side table and walked into his bedroom. There he changed into his sleeping clothes and took his jewellery off. In his bathroom he grabbed some makeup remover and walked back into his living area. In the meantime Hyunjin had changed into Changbins clothes and emptied the glass of water. When he stood up, slightly swaying, Changbin noticed that the pants were a bit too short but the hoodie was a little too big even though Hyunjin was a lot taller than him.

Changbin closed the distance between them and took hold of Hyunijins hands. Then he carefully whipped off the make up from the younger one's eyes.

“Thank you”, he heard him mutter under his breath.

“Let's get you to bed.” When Hyunjin didn't answer, Changbin pulled him towards his bedroom and pointed towards his bed. “You can sleep here. I will take the sofa.” He was already on his way to walk out again when he suddenly felt Hyunjins arms wrap around his torso.

“Don't go, Hyung”, Hyunjin whispered. “Want you close. Want to cuddle with you. Want your warmth.” Changbin held his breath for a second. His heart was beating fast against chest and he could feel the jittery in his fingertips. He was not made to survive such words.

He turned around slowly, carried Hyunjins cheek for a moment and then nodded, because how could he deny such a request.

“Let's go to bed”, he mumbled once more, pushing Hyunjin carefully towards his bed till he fell on it. Changbin helped the younger man to get comfortable before he himself got under the blanket. And when he turned his head towards Hyunjin he was met with his lips. It came so suddenly, so fast and felt like a feather on his lips that he nearly missed the feeling of Hyunjins lips. When Hyunjin broke off their kiss he didn't pull away but stayed close, hugging Changbin tightly around his waist. “Good night”, whispered Changbin after a few moments of silence and pulled Hyunjin closer.

XIII

When Changbin woke up Hyunjin was still pressed into him and his arms were wrapped around his body. He looked so soft. With a wide smile Changbin placed a soft kiss on the younger man's hair without thinking. Slowly Changbin untangled them and got out of his bed. He didn't want to wake Hyunjin when he was sleeping so peacefully. He closed the door softly behind himself and walked into the kitchen. There he was greeted with the sun shining through the window. Still a bit sleepy, he started to make breakfast. He prepared rice and banchan as well as fried eggs. He made some tea and just in time, when he had placed everything on his small table, he heard his bedroom door open and close again. A moment later he saw Hyunjin in the hallway. Just when he wanted to greet him, he noticed the way the younger man was looking. It seemed to Changbin as if Hyunjin was all stiff, his eyes moved fastly from one side to another but he didn't meet Changbins eyes once. 

“Hyunjin?”, Changbin asked carefully, almost afraid the other one would flee like a scared deer. He made one step forward but stopped when Hyunjin jerked back. Immediately Changbin felt a strong pull in his chest. 

“I need to go”, muttered Hyunjin and within a few seconds he was out of the door. 

“But I made breakfast” sighed Changbin now to the emptiness of his home. He didn't understand what had just happened. He didn't get why Hyunjin acted in this way so suddenly. Slowly he placed down the smalle bowl he had still had in his hands when Hyunjin appeared and sat down on one of the chairs. The sun was still shining through his kitchen window but now it seemed mocking. Like she was making fun of him. Shining so bright and happy while he felt like it started raining just over him and only over him. Why did he feel like that? Why was he so upset about Hyunjin just leaving? It wasn't just because he made breakfast for them both. It was more behind it. It was… Changbin let out a deep sigh, stood up and placed everything he had prepared away and into the fridge again. He wasn't hungry anymore. 

When he walked back into his bedroom he noticed Hyunjins clothes from last night. He had left them on the chair and Hyunjin probably didn't notice them when he stormed out of Changbins apartment. Yesterday everything seemed to go just fine. In a long time Changbin hadn't felt so good. Maybe when he went on the short trip with Hyunjin but he even felt better yesterday. The way he had been surrounded with his friends and the new opportunity to work with Chan and Jisung and then Hyunjin. How they danced together and how the younger man had held onto him. He… He had the feeling of being loved. And he loved. Damn he loved… he loved Hyunjin. Love was a big word. Maybe it wasn't love. Not completely but he was on the way to it. He liked Hyunjin. He really did. His body had told him so multiple times and he couldn't deny it anymore. Couldn't deny how he felt so comfortable, so warm and safe whenever Hyunjin was around. He couldn't deny how his heart was beating strongly against his chest when Hyunjin was getting closer to him. For god's sake they kissed. Multiple times and he enjoyed it. Wanted more, even. He had lost the bet. But who was he going to fool? Deep down he had known from the beginning that he would lose this bet but he couldn't do that to Minho. Minho had worked so hard to get so far and Changbin wouldn't be the person to destroy that. But maybe he wouldn't need to. Hyunjin had kissed him multiple times as well. Had seeked him out. Had slept next to him, had hugged like none of Changbins friends had ever done. Maybe he felt the same. The chance was very small but it was still there. Maybe they had a chance. They… was there even a they to begin with? They started off as a bet. Maybe it was all Hyunjin saw in them. Suddenly Changbins chest felt tighter than before and with a frustrated exhale he threw Hyunjins clothes on the ground. He needed to think of something different. Maybe he needed a shower. It would calm him down a bit. Hopefully at least. But before he did that he texted Hyunjin asking him to at least tell him when he got home safe. But even two hours later he had still gotten know text back from Hyunjin and it made him nervous. Not because he thought something might have happened to Hyunjin but because he just ignored him. He had seen that Hyunjin had been online several times through these two hours but he still got no answer. Honestly, he didn't understand anything anymore. Maybe he would need to talk to him after the weekend. Instead of thinking too much about it now, he started to do some work he still had for one of his courses. He didn't like it much but at least it got his head off of Hyunjin.

XIV

The next time he had the opportunity to talk to Hyunjin was on wednesday. He didn't feel well on money when they met up for training so he stayed home but today he felt better and ready to face Hyunjin. Somehow… He needed to anyway because today was the last day of their bet as well. Hyunjin hadnt reached out to him since he left Changbins place. He also did not answer any of his texts or calls. Around Monday evening Changbin stopped trying. Maybe Hyunjin just needed time to sort things out. Yes, that was what he was telling himself. 

When he walked into the studio Minho had booked for them, he already felt the tension. Minho, Seungmin and Jeongin were already sitting in a small circle on the ground. 

“What's up with that atmosphere here?” Slowly he placed down his bag and sat in between Minho and Jeongin. 

“Today is the last day to tell him which group will attempt the show”, muttered Seungmin. Changbin let out a light whine. 

“I know that.” 

“And?” Now he looked towards Minho. 

“Hyung”, he whispered. He couldn't do that to Minho. “I will tell him that I didn't fall for him.” He was sure this would be the right way to go. The only way even if it would hurt his heart. 

“But you would be lying”, said Minho under his breath. Changbin couldn't hold Minhos' gaze anymore.

“That doesn't matter when it means we could go to the show, Hyung. That's what you worked for so hard. What we all worked for.”

“Changbin”, Minho muttered, placing one hand on his knee. “I saw how you looked at him. How could I ignore that just for a chance to get to the show?” Slowly Changbin looked up again. “This will not be the last chance for us to get known more. But it might be the only chance to get with Hyunjin.” 

“I cant…” Changbin didn't know what to do. He looked towards Seungmin and Jeongin. Searching for disagreement in their faces. For a sign that he should lie to Hyunjin. 

“We talked about it, Hyung and we all agreed that your happiness is more important than some chance that isn't even a chance because who says we wouldn't be out in the first round?”

“The whole bet was a stupid idea to begin with”, stated Seungmin with a light shake of his head.

“I agree but also otherwise Minho-Hyung and Jisung-Hyung wouldn't be together. So there was one good thing at least”, said Seungmin with a wide smile and didn't even try to get away from Minho when the oldest of them tried to hide him. Playfully of course. 

“And you and Chan-Hyung”, muttered Changbin with a smile that started to grow when he saw how the younger man started to get red on his ears and tried to hide his smile. 

“We are not together yet.” 

“But you are on the best way to it.” To that Seungmin just shrugged his shoulders but fell back over a second later and hid his face behind his hands. Now Changbin started to laugh and not a second later, Minho and Jeongin followed him.

“Our Seungminnie is all grown up now”, cooed Minho which made Changbin smile fondly as he watched how Minho pinched Seungmins cheeks carefully. 

“Stop it”, whined Seungmin, which was a surprise to Changbin but he still found it adorable. After a few moments it got more quiet again and Seungmin sat up. 

“Let's get started. Just because we will not go to the show doesn't mean I will go easy on you”, said Minho and got up. Changbin let out a little sigh and stood up as well. 

“And Changbin?” Changbin nodded lightly. “You can do it. Get your man.” This made Changbin laugh but he nodded once again. When he got into position he felt like a lot of weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he was happy to have such friends as these three. 

Two hours later, Changbin was more than exhausted. Minho hadn't broken his promise. He had pushed them further than they had ever been but if he was honest with himself their dance had never looked so good as today. Behind the others he walked out of the studio. 

“We will collect the others and then go to the coffee shop around the corner”, explained Minho as they walked towards the studio the others had booked. Changbin was feeling like he would die any second. His hands were cold and hot at the same time and his heart beated faster than when he had drunk too much coffee at once. He took a deep breath just in the moment when the door got opened by Felix who was followed by Chan and Jisung. While the others started to talk to the three newcomers Changbin slowly entered the studio and closed the door behind himself. Hyunjin was sitting on one of the sofas scrolling through his phone. 

“Hyunjin?”, asked Changbin as he placed his bag down and started to walk further towards the younger man. Slowly Hyunjin lowered his phone and looked up. 

“What do you want?” Changbin was surprised how callous Hyunjin sounded. He didn't like this side of Hyunjin. He felt so unfamiliar to him this way.

“Why didn't you react to any of my texts or my calls?” Originally he didn't want to start off like this, but Hyunjin needed to know. 

“Maybe I didn't want to? Have you considered this?” 

“You could have at least told me this and I would have stopped”, mumbled Changbin. To him, it felt like he was losing his grip on Hyunjin. When the other man didn't answer, Changbin took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. “I wanted to talk to you about something different.” 

“Then talk”, said Hyunjin with a roll of his eyes as he started to pack everything up. Once again Changbin took a deep breath in, trying to calm himself a bit which was not really working. Maybe he was making it even worse. He had no clue.

“Today is the last day of the bet”, explained Changbin as he made a step forward to Hyunjin.

“I know”, Hyunjin muttered. “Finally it's over.” 

“Finally? Why?” 

“Because I couldn't have done that shit any longer. I'm so happy it's over and I can finally go back to before the bet.” 

“You really want to go back to before the bet? Pretend like nothing happened between us?” Changbin didn't want to but he sounded hurt. 

“Of course. No more faking that I like you. That I'm interested in you. I was so done with it.” Hyunjin didn't look at him as he said that. He was still packing his bag. His hair fell into his face and Changbin nearly closed the distance between them and stroked a few strands away. He wanted to see his face. Hyunjins words slowly sank in and Changbin started to feel betrayed. His heart was heavy in his chest. 

“But I thought…”

“Thought what? That I would like you? That I would fall for you? That I would lose the bet. The chance to finally be seen, for someone like you?” Hyunjins words were like arrows that directly went through his chest and wounded him. Changbin stayed silent. He didn't know what to say and he was sure even if he had known what to say it would not have come over his lips. Finally Hyunjin looked up from his bag but Changbin couldn't see any emotion. Hyunjin looked so cold. So closed up. The elder didn't recognise the other man. 

“Oh of course you would. Of course you would think that. Haven't I played my role well?” Changbin couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. There was no way Hyunjin had faked it all.  

“You didn't! Hyunjin please tell me you didn't”, Changbin didn't care that he started to beg the younger man or that he was dangerously close to crying. He needed to know. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't.” 

“I did, Changbin-ssi.” For a long moment Changbin just stared at the younger man. He couldn't believe it. How could he have been so dumb.

“You were good”, Changbins voice was nothing more than a whisper, a few small tears slowly making their way down his cheeks. He didn't know what he felt anymore. “You fooled me and I was an idiot to think you really liked me. I was a fool to open up and fall for you.” He grabbed his bag from the floor and turned around. “Go to Mr. Choi and tell him your team will go.” Hyunjin stayed silent and when Changbin turned around once more at the door he saw him look down. Changbin wasn't sure but to him it seemed as if Hyunjin had sinked in a bit. He looked much smaller than just a second ago. But who was he to care? Who was he to think he knew Hyunjin´s body language? Hyunjin had lied to him for so long. Changbin didn't know what was real anymore. Didn't know Hyunjin anymore. Has he ever known the real Hyunjin? “Congrats, Hyunjin-ssi. You successfully won the bet. I hope you will be happy now.” And with these last words, Changbin walked out of the studio. For a second he stopped in his tracks, wiped away the tears that were still all over his cheeks and took a deep breath. He had been stupid to think Hyunjin could feel the same. He had been an idiot from the very beginning.

XV

When Changbin left the dance studio he didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want to see his friends and tell them that he was the only one who had catched feelings during the bet. And especially not in front of Hyunjins teammates and friends. He was sure they wouldn't laugh about him but he still didn't want to see their faces. Because in the end him catching feelings meant, they could go to the show and he didn't want to see the joy in their eyes while he felt so bad inside. 

He also didn't want to walk home. Home would mean silence and even more room for his thoughts to play with him. 

He sended Minho a short text, telling him that Hyunjin had chosen the show and faked everything before he started to walk. There had been a light wind since the morning and now Changbin enjoyed the wind on his warm skin. He turned right  and left whenever he felt like it. He had no real designation. He just didn't want to stop. Because stopping would mean that his thoughts would start to walk around in his mind. So he walked and walked till the sun started to set. Just then he really looked around and noticed where he was. He had stopped in front of Minho's apartment complex. A small smile appeared on his lips as he noticed it. His body had taken him to the person he needed the most right now. His best friend. With a long breath out, he got in and took the elevator to Minho's apartment. Just now he noticed how tired and heavy his whole body felt. Finally in front of Minho's apartment, Changbin rang the bell and waited but instead of Minho, Jisung opened the door. For a moment both looked surprised. 

“I didn't know you would be here. Am I interrupting anything?”, asked Changbin and started to play with the handle of his bag. “I will go. I'm sorry. Tell that hyung.” But just when he wanted to take a step backwards he was pulled into a tight hug. 

“I'm so sorry, Hyung”, whispered Jisung against his shoulder. 

“Dont”, Changbin whispered back. “It's not your fault.” He was close to tears again. 

“It is! If I hadn't had this stupid idea everything would be fine. You wouldn't be hurt.” 

“It is not your fault, Jisung”, Changbin repeated himself and he meant it. It hadn't been Jisungs fault. It had just been an idea but Changbin was the one who said yes to it. If he had been more mature, he wouldn't have let Hyunjin provoke him. So in the end it was his fault. They stood for a while, arm in arm, till Changbin heard Minhos voice behind Jisung. 

“Let's get him inside, Jisungie.” Slowly, Jisung backed away and pulled Changbin inside. Just now he noticed that Jisung was wearing one of Minho's favourite hoodies. While Changbin took his shoes off and placed his bag in one corner of the hallway, Jisung had walked back into Minho's living room. Minho on the other hand had waited for him and when Changbin finally stood straight again he opened his arms without another word. And Changbin understood what the older one was offering. He closed the distance between them and let himself nearly fall into Minho's hug. He felt tears building up in his eyes again. 

“I was so stupid, Hyung”, cried Changbin out, shaking his head. He felt Minho carrying his back softly rocking them from side to side. “And I thought he may also have started to like me.” 

“You are not stupid, and you know that Binnie”, muttered Minho next to his ear. Changbin could hear how Minho forced himself to sound calm and he wondered what Minho was really feeling. Was he angry? “Let's get you onto the sofa, yeah? You must be tired.” Still with tears in his eyes he followed his Hyung into the living room where Jisung had prepared the sofa with a few cushions and a blanket. 

“Thank you, Jisung”, he whispered when he let himself fall onto the sofa and the younger man had placed the blanket over him. 

“Sure Hyung.” He sat down on the armchair and made space so Minho could sit there as well, after he had placed a glass of water next to Changbin on the table. 

“Congrats for getting in the show i guess”, mumbled Changbin after a moment of silence. He saw how Jisung glanced at Minho and then at him. But just for a second before his glace went down to his hands.

“First of all, I could not be happy when you are so hurt. How could I, Hyung?”, he explained with a strange sounding voice. He cleared his throat, playing with the rings on his finger. Softly Minho placed his hand over Jisungs. “And second, we didn't get in.”

“What?” 

“We didn't get in the show.” Changbin sat up, staring at Jisung. 

“Don't look at me like I'm an alien.” 

“I don't understand.” 

“When Hyunjin tol old Mr. Choi our group would go, he told him the type of show was changed and that instead of a boys group he needed a girls group.” 

“You are joking.” 

“Sadly I'm not.” Changbin didn't know how to feel. He felt so much but also nothing at the same time. He couldn't believe it. Was the universe really that cruel? 

“Funny”, he whispered and without really meaning to he started to laugh. Not the happy laugh more like… yeah like what? It felt like he was going crazy. He could feel the tears falling down his cheeks but he couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't even funny. It was just sad. Suddenly he felt Minho's arms around him again. Minho was talking to him in a soft voice but he couldn't understand anything. It felt like his voice couldnt reach Changbin. Like he was far away. Out of sight. He started to feel even more tired than before. And sooner than later he drifted to sleep.

XVI

On the next day he woke up much later than he wanted to. Later than he needed to because he had some lectures. Minho's small apartment was silent and Changbin assumed both Jisung and Minho had already left the apartment. With a low sigh he sat up a small smile appearing when he saw the glass of water and medicine against a headache he could have gotten from crying yesterday. And Changbin was sure there would be breakfast in the fridge for him. He emptied the glass of water and stood up slowly. When he walked into the bathroom he found some clothes. He felt like crying again but this time because Minho and probably Jisung too had prepared everything for him before they went out. 

Changbin washed himself and changed into Minhos clothes. He took his time because it would be way too late to go to his lecture anyways. When he walked into Minho's small kitchen he noticed that one of the other two men had put his phone on the charger so he grabbed it and checked whether anyone had texted him. He had several texts. Some from Minho explaining that they let him sleep because he looked so tired and that he could stay as long as he wanted. Others were from Jeongin and Seungmin asking him how he was and asking whether they should kick Hyunjins ass which made him nearly laugh. But again just nearly. He also found a long text from Chan asking how he was as well, telling him what Jisung had already told him and that he was sorry for Hyunjins behaviour. What made Changbin smile was that Chan also stated the younger one could always talk to him and that he was still invited to join them when they next meet up to produce a bit. With a smile he answered Chan and the others. Right before he closed the app he saw Hyunjins contact but like he accepted there was no text from him. Still it kinda hurt to know even after Hyunjins group failed to get into the tv show as well Hyunjin wasn't reaching out to him. He should try to forget about everything that was surrounding Hyunjin. Which was harder done than said. Minho had prepared him kimchi fried rice which he ate in silence till his thoughts got too much and he played loud music instead. His thoughts weren't taking up so much space when Changbin was nodding to the music.

When he had finished his breakfast it was already past 1 p.m. so he washed up quickly and got ready to leave. When he left Minho's apartment he didn't feel like going home. Hyunjins clothes, neatly folded on his chair, would just remind him of the younger man even more so he decided to head to the dance studio. They would meet up around 2:30 p.m. for a dance practice anyways. 

As he arrived in the studio he started to look through the small windows in each studio door to check whether it was empty or not. He had already turned away from the third studio door when he stopped and looked again, not sure whether his eyes played evil tricks on him. But no. In the middle of the studio was Hyunjin dancing to music that was still noticeable outside the studio. Something in Changbin stirred. He wanted to see Hyunjin. Wanted to know how he looked. Did he look like shit? Did he look bad because he lost the opportunity to go to the tv show? Or did he look the same? Had it not affected him. Would he just continue his life as if the last few weeks never happened? 

And he felt the desire to rub Hyunjins lost opportunity to be seen all over his face. He wanted him to feel bad at least for one second. He needed it.

So he opened the door in auto mode and slipped through. Hyunjin didnt even notice him. The music was way too loud. The first thing he noticed when he looked at the younger man was the hoodie he was wearing because it was the one Changbin had given Hyunjin when he had slept in his apartment. Changbin felt something bubble up inside him but he forced it down and walked to the stereo box instead to turn the music off. Immediately Hyunjin spun around, looking at him with wide eyes. For a second Changbins throat betrays him and he can't manage to get anything out. He cleared his throat forcefully. 

“Funny isn't it? In the end we both lost the chance to go to the show”, he said and even in his ears it sounded more spiteful than he attended. He started to lean against the wall, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Hyunjin kept silent but was still staring at him. Changbin couldn't hold back an angry huff. How could Hyunjin just stand there and stare at him? Had he nothing to say? “Are you happy now?” He wanted to know even though he wasn't sure what he would do with this information and deep down he was aware that it would not change anything for him. He would still feel hurt. Hyunjin on the other hand broke their eye contact and looked down. Then he turned around and nearly ran towards his bag. “Don't you dare to run away!”, Changbin hissed, following the younger man but as soon as he said these words Hyunjin stopped in his tracks. He didn't turn around. He wasn't doing anything. Slowly Changbin walked up to him but when he saw who Hyunjin flinched with every step he took, he stopped a few steps before him. He didn't know what to do now. He had acted impulsive without a real plan. He had been stupid. 

“I'm sorry.” If the studio had not been completely quiet, Changbin would have missed Hyunjins words because he had said them with such little voice. Changbin stayed silent, staring holes into Hyunjins back. He felt like his insides paused for a moment. After another moment of silence passed, Hyunjin slowly turned around and now that they were facing each other Changbin was able to see the tears that started to roll over Hyunjins cheeks. For a second he felt the need to close the distance and just hug Hyunjin but then he remembered that Hyunjin had told he had acted the whole time they were together. How could he be sure that the younger man wasn't acting now? 

“Stop acting! It isn't getting you anywhere”, Changbin hissed, looking away from Hyunjin for a second. He needed to stay put. 

Meanwhile Hyunjin wrapped his arms around his upper body and looked for a moment at the ceiling. When Changbin looked at him again he wasn't even more unsure of what to think. 

“I'm sorry”, uttered Hyunjin once more. A loud sob escaped Hyunjin’s lips and his whole body seemed to shake. “Please believe me when I say I'm sorry, Hyung.” Everything in him screamed to wrap Hyunjin into his arms but he couldn't. Instead he crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

“How can I trust you, when all I got to see the last few weeks was acting? How am I supposed to know whether you are still acting?” Changbin tried to sound calm but even in his own ears he still sensed the angriness in his words. 

“I lied.” 

“Yeah I know. It's not like I was too stupid to understand it the first time you told me yesterday”, said Changbin with a laugh that nearly got stuck in his throat. Intensely Hyunjin shook his head, making a few steps forward. 

“No, you don't understand”, he whispered, tears were still falling down his cheeks. “I lied yesterday.” Changbin didn't know what to say. What was Hyunjin implying? What had he lied about? “I was lying when I said I was acting. I was never acting when we were together.” 

“Why? 

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you say it then? Was the opportunity to be seen really so much more worth than…”, Changbin cutted himself off, let out a low sigh and shook his head. 

“It was all a bet”, Hyunjin muttered as he rubbed away his tears. “How would I have been able to know what was the bet and what was real?” “We kissed, multiple times! We slept next to each other and I took care of you when you were drunk. You think I did that just because of this stupid bet?”

“I dont know!”, said Hyunjin with a much louder voice than before. “How would I have known that?” He pulled his hair softly as he shook his head. 

“Then why did you turn away from me? Why didn't you talk to me? Do you even know how much your actions and words hurted?” For a moment Hyunjin kept quiet and when he started to speak again he had his head lowered. 

“Don't you understand?”, he whispered. “I was afraid… I was afraid that I had been the only one that started to catch feelings. I was afraid that I would be standing alone after the bet and you wouldn't even care.” 

“And that's why you decided it would be fine to hurt me instead?” Hyunjin flinched slightly at those words. 

“I was stupid. I let my fears choose my actions and when I understood what I had done. When I understood you had also started to like me it was too late. The damage was done and I didnt know what to do to take it back.” Hyunjin bowed lightly. “I'm sorry for not being as brave and honest as you were.” Changbin looked at him and when they met eyes he had the feeling that Hyunjin was telling him the truth. 

“It's never too late to be honest, Hyunjin.” Slowly Hyunjin closed the distance between them till he was an arm's length away.

“In the beginning, all I was thinking about was to win the bet but soon I started to get excited whenever we would meet and I felt quite safe around you. I was able to let go which was kinda scary”, explained Hyunjin with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. “When I woke up after the night in the pub I was so happy because you took me home with you and took care of me but then”, he let out a shaky breath. “Then I remembered that everything still happened because of the bet and my mind went overload telling me that I had been so stupid and so full of myself that I couldn't think straight anymore. So I left.” Hyunjin took a deep breath and looked away as he started to play with the strings of his hoodie. “I was too confused on my way back home. I just… I just didnt understand why I was so upset by the idea that everything might have been because of the bet and then…”, he stopped again and this time Changbin softly took Hyunjins hands and held them in between them. “I realised that I started to like you. I really like you and it scared me even more. That's why I didn't react to your texts or calls. I was so stupid. I'm sorry.” For a moment Changbin had no words to reply but then he nodded. 

“Thanks for telling me, Hyunjin.” 

“What will happen now?”, whispered Hyunjin after some silence between them as he kept looking at their hands. Changbin tilted his head lightly and raised one eyebrow. Had he imagined it or had Hyunjin sounded hopeful? 

“What do you mean?” Hyunjin hesitated for a second. 

“What will happen with us? Is there an us?” Oh.

“Hyunjin I…” 

“Would you still have me even after what I have done?” Hyunjins hands in Changbins were ice cold and shaking slightly. When Changbin met Hyunjins eyes, they were moving, searching for an answer. Changbin felt like he had been ripped into two parts. One part screamed at him to hug the younger man. To kiss him and tell him that he would of course have him. And the other half reminded him how much he was still hurt by Hyunjins actions. How hollow he had felt just a day ago. He could not ignore this part and he would not. 

“I will be honest with you”, muttered the older man. “You really hurt me with the words you said and it's way too fresh to just ignore everything.” Changbin could see the little light that had started to glow in Hyunjins eyes disappear. He forced a smile and nodded. 

“I understand that, Hyung. Thank you for being honest.” He started to pull away but Changbin kept his grip tied. 

“Because you were honest with me, I understand now that you were scared. Knowing this the pain doesn't get any less but I think I can understand why you acted the way you did.” Softly Changbin rubbed over Hyunjins upperpalm. “I think it will take some time till it doesn't hurt anymore but I would like to try once again. This time knowing that every action is because you like me and not because of this stupid bet.” 

“Can I hug you?”, Hyunjin asked out of the blue and Changbin couldn't hold back a laugh escaping him. Softly he pulled the younger man in and wrapped his arms around him. 

“I will make sure to show you that I really like you.” 

“And please remember that you can always talk to me. Don't bottle everything up.” Hyunjins hug got even tighter as he nodded. 

“I will try my best, Hyung. And you can always talk to me as well.” 

For a few moments they stayed in this position till Hyunjins stomach made a sudden loud sound. As Changbin bursted into laughter, Hyunjin drew back and looked at everything with red tinted cheeks except at Changbin. 

“Have you eaten anything today?” All Hyunjin did was to shake his head which made Changbin sigh. “Then let's get you something to eat.” Both men grabbed their bags and walked out of the dance studio. 

Changbin knew it wouldn't be fine from one second to another but he felt that they would be good sometime in the future. They would work on it. Would build a healthy base for whatever was to come. He knew that when his hands brushed softly against the taller once. Slowly he intertwined their fingers. They will be fine, Changbin was sure about it.

#stray kids #skz #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #changjin #dancing #stray kids fanfic #bet #rivals to lovers #a bit of angst #happy ending #fluff #kpop #au #no smut #side ship minsung #bang chan #lee know #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin

[pluckyredhead]

Not on the ask list, but a question I've been curious about and I respect your writing a great deal. Obviously feel free to ignore this anon ask but: Do you think that fanfic authors need to read comics in order to write good fanfic of those characters? And accepting that there's going to be some nuance to your answer that I cannot anticipate (it would be bad form to ask a question I know how you would answer after all), is there any specific take, overarching or for specific characters, that you wish fanfic authors would drop?

I'm going to say "you" a lot in this answer but I mean the general you and not you specifically, anon!

No, I don't think you need to read comics to write good comics fic. I personally love the source material, and I love fic that is deeply embedded in the source material - where I can tell the writer is drawing on specific moments in the comics and has an understanding of who the characters are in canon and not just the fandom versions. So as a reader, that's always what I'm going to be drawn to. But I've certainly read and enjoyed plenty of fic from writers who have read very few comics, or none at all.

I do want to note, though, that this isn't an all or nothing question. There's a really wide gulf between reading as many comics as I have over the past 20 years and reading absolutely zero comics. I recommend reading some comics, however many or few as you want - not to write good fic, but because reading comics is fun and I like it and you might like it too!

What I don't like is the position some fans take that not reading comics is somehow morally superior to reading them, or that their opinions are superior or more correct because they're untainted by the source material. It's a weird take and it's rude. It's also not gatekeeping when a comics reader says "Here is what happens in the comics." It's just...describing what happens in the comics.

In terms of fandom takes, I say this a lot, but...the DC universe is not the Batfam and then all of their supporting characters. Clark and Hal have had their own comics for many decades, they do not exist to provide emotional support for Bruce. (It's genuinely HILARIOUS that fandom thinks Hal Jordan can successfully identify even one (1) emotion and respond in a helpful way. The man thinks "willpower" is an emotion.) Wally does not exist FOR Dick, Roy for Jason, Kon for Tim, Jon for Damian, etc. Those guys have their own books, their own histories, their own stories, their own families. They also all have Wikipedia pages to get you started on learning more if you understandably do not want to read 80 years of comics.

Also, zeta tubes are only a YJTV thing, they don't exist in the comics. People just walk or whatever.

#comics

[herrlindemann]

KERRANG! - October 2005

Review and interview with Schneider, Paul and Till

It’s a thought that must have occurred to Rammstein fans as much as foes during the years this German sextet have been putting fire to stage; What if Rammstein ditched the pyro, the flamethrowers, the spunking stunts cocks and just went it alone? Would it still work? Would the music see them through?

For a band with such an unshakeable visual identity as Rammstein, the music has been the one aspect of this consistently creative act that’s been often overlooked. But step away from the industrial lights and magic of the live shows for a moment, and you’ll find a wealth of hook-laden, corrupted imagination that has made their recorded output as powerful as anything Till Lindemann has lit a fuse to (chances are they still remain the only band to have scored a hit with a love song, ‘Mein Teil’, inspired by cannibalism).

So it’s something of a shame that ‘Rosenrot’ (‘Rose Red’), sees a drop in such standards for the first time. Though you’d be hard pressed to identify old from new here (half of ‘Rosenrot’ is comprised of leftovers from 2004’s ‘Reise Reise’ sessions), Rammstein’s fifth studio outing feels much like an album of two halves. Opener ‘Benzin’ (‘Gasoline’) bruises past with grating malice, ‘Mann gegen Mann’ (‘Man Against Man’) throbs with muscular intent, but aside from the glorious sweep of the title-track, the first handful of numbers offer little in the way of spark or surprise. And just whose idea was it to bring Texas singer Sharleen Spiteri on board for ‘Strib nicht vor mir’ — a hideous ham-job duet that does favors to no one.

What makes such moments so disappointing is that the rest of ‘Rosenrot’ is as good as Rammstein have ever sounded. The appropriately named ‘Zerstoren’ pulps everything in its path in a brutal cavalcade of noise and distortion, while ‘Te quiero puta!’ — a hilarious homage to the ‘ladies’ of South America, complete with Esquivel-style brass band interludes and all-swinging señorita chorus chant, is a stroke of ridiculous brilliance. It says something that the album’s finest moment, the solitary, unsettling ‘Ein leid’ that trades their usual iron-jawed bombast for acoustic fragility and spooky theremins, was the product of a one-take practice room demo — proof that Rammstein don’t need to rely on all their firey window dressing to make a point. It’s just unfortunate that for much of ‘Rosenrot’, you’re glad it’s there this time to fall back on.

Rammstein spill the beans on ‘Rosenrot’

Weren’t you originally going to call this ‘Reise, Reise Vol. 2’?

Schneider: It’s kind of a part two to that album, but ‘Vol. 2’ just sounded too boring to us. It didn’t represent what the album was about.

Paul: We usually record 20 songs for an album and throw out the bad ones, but all the songs turned out so well that we decided to keep them all.

So, ‘Rosenrot’ isn’t just left-overs…

Schneider: I can understand why people might think that, but not at all. This is a new record. We would never release anything we thought was bad, but they just didn’t fit in with the last record. It would be unfair if we didn’t tell people where the songs came from. Besides, records shouldn’t be longer than 50 minutes. I don’t care what band it is.

Paul: And we’d actually received the money for ‘Rosenrot’ and spent it. So it kind of felt like we had to go back to the studio at the beginning, but then the mood changed, and people who weren’t so into it started working and we got somer really good songs out of it.

‘Te quiero puta!’ has a Mexican mariachi band in it…

Till: Yes, that’s our Spanish party anthem, but we’re always extreme in whatever we do — it’s hard to have a strong opinion about beige isn’t it?

Schneider: The music was from ‘Reise, Reise’, but it was instrumental and we couldn’t think of any words for it. Till was really stuck, and then he came up with the Spanish idea. The first time I heard it I was shocked, but it was perfect.

#Rammstein #Till Lindemann #Christoph Schneider #Paul Landers #Flake #Oliver Riedel #Richard Kruspe #2005 #*scans #* #hard disagree on that review #MGM and SNVM are some of their best work #most underrated album

[numbugwritingblog]

The Miracle Mind of Serene: the Tale of a Girl and a Ghost (Chapter 2)

Previous Chapter

Index

---

18/01/2018

Serene swung back in her chair as she turned to face her phone, her telekinesis typing away at the computer without her even looking. “So! First of all, Mortis, I’m going to need you to gather up all of the information you can think of about Richard.”

“Well,” the phone blared out in that deep, distorted voice that it had whenever Mortis was talking through it. “He’s a bitch.”

Serene shook her head. “No, no, I mean anything that can help identify him. Stuff like surname, species, address, age at the time you, er… died.”

“Well…” Mortis paused for a moment, the only sound being that of Serene’s keyboard going clickety clackety on its own. “He was around 20, 30 years old, and… well I don’t know what his address was, but the people he brought into the United Federation arrived by boat on the South-East coast, and he’s a rat - that’s both literal and an insult.”

“Mortis, you can’t just call someone a rat like that.”

“... He’s a bitch. Is that there.”

“That’s… I suppose…” Serene turned back to the screen as the keyboard finished typing, her initial search starting. “Say, when did you die again?”

“1967.”

Serene stopped entirely, slowly turning in her seat to look at the phone. “... The 60s? Do-... Do you know how old he’d be then?”

“Yeah, yeah, he’d be like 50 or something.”

“No, he’s going to be 70 at the very least, maybe even 80.”

“... Fuck me.”

“He’ll be an old man who’s lived through most of his life by now,” Serene explained. “You sure you still want to find him? And not, I don’t know, find something else to do?”

“No. Finding him and drinking milk are the only two things I want now.”

“But-” Serene blinked in surprise at that last statement. “Wait, milk? I-”

“Milk is fucking delicious.”

She shrugged. “Alright, fair enough… But, well, what are you really going to do once you’ve found him and you’ve given him a piece of your mind?”

Mortis was quiet for a moment, before speaking up. “I assume I’d just fade away on the spot, like this is that unfinished business kind of deal.”

“You assume?” Serene asked aloud, staring at Mortis for longer. “Don’t you know what being a ghost even means? Maybe from other ghosts or-”

“Nah,” Mortis interrupted her outright. “I’m the only one I’ve ever known of, so I have to guess at what’s going on.’

That was when the doorbell suddenly rang, Serene flicking her head over to the approximate entrance.

“Eugh,” Serene grunted out as she rolled her eyes. “Just a moment, Mortis.”

“Why? What is it?”

“Oh, probably just a fan wanting to meet me,” she explained. “I always get some from time to time. Hard not to be famous when you’re the only psychic in the world.”

Mortis let out a huff, dropping out of the phone and following along behind Serene.

Serene immediately put on a smile moments before opening up the front door.

What she wasn’t expecting to see was a male buffalo in a suit, his I.D. labelling him as a government agent. “Serene Cirillo, you’re under arrest.”

Serene paused, her eyes slowly going wide as her smile faded very quickly. “Wh… Under what charges?” she mumbled out. Already her body was getting tense, hand clenching the door handle tightly.

“You violated your official agreement and went off surveillance”. The officer moved aside to escort Serene out.

Serene cleared her throat, holding out her hand. ���Let me get my lawyer, because there’s clearly been a mistake-”

“At 9:01 PM last night you went off surveillance without approval.”

Serene glared at him, her eyes starting to have a faint white glow. “... I got approval. You can check the voice logs at 6:13 PM yesterday, the 17th.” She didn’t question how she knew the exact time down to the minute, right at this moment she knew something was wrong. Afterall, how could they forget? They never forgot.

The officer didn’t react beyond speaking further. “It likely is a misunderstanding, then, but until it’s cleared up you’re coming with us.” He then moved aside to give Serene the chance to walk out peacefully.

Serene hesitated, before seeing Mortis pass by and possess the agent right in front of her. “Mortis, no!” She held him in place, Mortis unable to even check the agent for any weapons. “Get out of him, now!”

“You know it’s bullshit,” Mortis hissed out in the officer’s voice. “There’s no way that they just-”

“Just stop,” Serene cut him off without pausing. “This is just going to make things worse. I’ll just get this misunderstanding sorted out, it won’t be long at all. Please.”

There was a long pause. Before finally Serene could see Mortis leave.

Serene then let the agent go, watching him drop to his knees as he hacked and coughed.

“I am following you now,” she explained immediately. “I am exercising my right to remain silent.”

The officer glared at her, but said nothing else as he let her lock the front door before cuffing her and bringing her along.

---

“Name?”

“Serene Cirillo.” God, even in interrogations Serene was still being asked the same routine.

“Age?”

“21.” Not a single thing had changed, despite the fact that it was a police officer instead of a neuroscientist.

“Occupation?”

“Can we just skip to the actual interrogations please?” Serene complained, getting to her feet. “It’s me, the psychic girl, and I can prove I’m the psychic girl real quick by using my psychic powers.”

With that she lifted herself off the ground, hovering for a few seconds before she landed back down. “Is that good? Do you believe that I’m the psychic girl now?”

The officer looked to Serene with a raised brow, but sat down in his chair all the same. “My apologies, miss Cirillo, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Serene dropped back down onto the chair, putting her hand on her forehead. “Thank you, it’s just… It’s been stressful. Today and yesterday.”

The officer nodded. “I understand why it’s so stressful, but hopefully we can resolve this swiftly. It says here that you’re under supervision due to your unique psychic powers.”

Serene didn’t say a word, instead nodding.

“And it says here you’re under arrest for endangering others via illegally interrupting that supervision-”

“6:03 PM yesterday, I rang up to organise my given week of no surveillance,” Serene repeated. “It’s in the logs.”

“I’m sorry, miss Cirillo,” the officer said with what seemed to be a genuine look of disappointment. “But the logs have already been provided, and there was no call from you yesterday.”

Serene’s eyes began glowing white again, silent as she processed this information. “... It must have been tampered with, then. I can provide evidence, too.”

The officer raised his brow again, looking back to Serene. “And what evidence is that?”

“Oh, it’s-” she paused, cogs turning in her head. They couldn’t have forgotten. And… And Mortis had to turn the surveillance off on her end… Why is she only realising now? They’re doing this on purpose. “... Actually, can I speak with Mortis first, please? He’s the ghost that’s been following around.”

The officer was very clearly trying to hold back a laugh, every fibre in his being telling him that laughter was a very poor action to take. Despite all of that, he still failed, a quick chuckle escaping his lips. “R-right,” he said, trying to regain composure - but it was already too late.

Serene blinked, looking over to the ball of fire that only she could see. “Mortis, can you hear me?”

Mortis obliged and flew into the officer, his posture abruptly changing. “Yeah, yeah, the sooner you’re done with this the sooner we can get back to business.”

Serene gave a nod. “Right. Before you even answer me, just ASAP, can you fly back home and into my phone, please? Guard it, just in case-”

She saw Mortis leave the officer’s body as he flew directly up.

At that same moment, the officer was hacking and coughing intensely, almost falling off of his seat. He slowly sat back up, eyes wide in realisation that he was just possessed for nothing more than a brief conversation. “You- the ghost- I-”

Serene nodded. “I haven’t been lying at any point in this interrogation, I promise.”

The officer let out a heavy sigh, getting to his feet. “Well for your sake, I hope you’re right. Don’t worry about Mortis, we’ll make sure the phone stays locked up in evidence until it’s time for the court case.”

With that, the officer turned and left the interrogation room, leaving Serene sitting there alone.

He turned to an officer that was waiting just outside, whispering into his ear. “There’s evidence in her phone, wipe it immediately. Don’t bring any weapons, and stick to a group of three or larger at all times. We don’t know what this ghost is willing to do, but he is real.”

---

Mortis had made his way back to Serene’s home (knowing full well in the back of his head that Serene’s bleeding heart was going to make him make it up for the unfortunate driver he used to get here).

The door was still locked, but that was no trouble, as he just phased through the door to get to the other side.

Guarding the phone… was going to be boring. As Mortis prepared himself for the dull task, he noticed something.

Serene’s computer was still on. And it was on a webpage. He slowly moved into the computer monitor right away, looking to see what he could.

…

He couldn’t scroll.

After a few awkward moments of moving between the monitor and the mouse, he managed to see what was on this webpage. Information on Richard. It looked like he founded a restaurant called the Delicious Den.

He could just go there, and linger until he found the little rat and-

Oh, he loved it so much.

… But they knew he’d be searching for Richard now, surely. Now it’s only a matter of Richard changing restaurants and he’d be back at square one. He couldn’t have that.

At least now he was getting help from that naive little girl, at least now he had a back-up if things went back to square one. So when he left the monitor, he made his way into the phone. He then lifted the phone up all the way to the roof. Might as well make it impossible to spot while he waited.

…

He might be able to make the machine do whatever he wanted, but that didn’t mean he knew how to navigate the web. Maybe now was the time to practice, while he’s stuck inside.

He tried to use this fancy schmancy search bar to find something to watch.

a… c… t… i… o… n… space… m… o… v… i… e… s…

…

Enter?

Ahah, that worked!

… What is all of this rubbish? Why does it look so fake? And why’s this one called volume 2? Guess they just can’t make movies anymore…

---

25/01/2018

Serene was confident that she’d come out of this court case with a success. Her lawyer was unusually incompetent, and the prosecutor was a clear expert, expertly weaving his words into compelling nothings. By all accounts, anyone would think this was a complete disaster.

But thanks to Mortis, she knew that her phone was safe.

And right she was, as when it came time to present that phone to court, the evidence that she had made the call was right in there, time and everything. Even despite the prosecutor trying to argue that the audio was faked, there was nothing he could say to throw it away as evidence.

So she was rather pleased with herself as she walked out of court as they pronounced her innocent, even managing to successfully argue for a full month of no surveillance. It was while she was walking out that a grizzly bear stepped out, wearing a government suit. It was the person in charge of her experimentation, General Thomas.

“Congratulations on the court case,” he spoke warmly, extending a hand. “I hope there’s no hard feelings, miss Cirillo.”

Oh, there were plenty of hard feelings. But Serene didn’t share any of them as she shook his hand. His grip was unusually fierce, her hand even hurting a little from it. “It’s okay, General. But I will be making sure the surveillance is actually off from now on. Hope you understand.”

He looked her right in the eyes with his good eye as he ended the handshake. Behind the smile Serene could see something focused, calculating.

“Of course, you can never be too careful. I’ll likewise be making sure that this embarrassment doesn’t happen again.”

Serene nodded, stepping to the side. “Well then, I’ll be seeing you for your next scheduled experiment in a month. Might even ask for two hours in exchange. Bye bye~” As she continued walking, she briefly twirled around in order to wave at him, smiling wide. Now it was a simple case of making her way to the bus stop.

An ear piercing, high pitched screech rang out from her phone, immediately followed by an annoyed huff from Mortis’s hellish voice.

“Wait for me, why don’t you?”

Serene let out a small giggle, turning the voice speaker off before putting the phone to her ear, as if she was making a phone call rather than talking with her ghost friend. “I did, I was talking with the man who was probably behind all of that. The big grizzly bear.”

“Oh him? He was angry as fuck, definitely trying not to swear in public.”

Serene let out a sigh, slowly shaking his head. “I really can’t believe they’d do this. I spent my whole life trusting them, and… eugh. I’m so glad I can trust you to help me out when I need it, I don’t know what I would’ve done with somebody.”

There was a small silence before Mortis answered. “Of course you can trust me.”

Serene smiled wide. She knew she could trust him, she had made the right call. It was then that the bus arrived. “Just a sec,” she said before lowering the phone.

Once she was on and seated, she brought the phone back to her ear. “And back.”

“Thank god, I was dying of boredom.”

Serene rolled her eyes. “Now that that’s dealt with, we’re going to continue looking into your reunion, aren’t we?”

“Sure am, while nobody was at your house I quickly checked what you left open on your computer. Richard was apparently the founder of some Delicious Den place.”

“Right, but…” Serene briefly pauses to look around, noting that around half of the bus has noticed her, some giving occasional looks, some trying to avoid eye contact entirely, and the few kids that are on the bus staring at her in awe. “... I can’t go as Serene. And besides, I’ve just gotten a big success, I really want to spend the night celebrating.”

She heard the long, drawn out groan from Mortis. “Fine, fine. But we’re going there tomorrow, no matter what.”

---

General Thomas was slumped in his office chair, his grip on his mug unusually tight. He was glaring at the files, just knowing what the week’s papers were going to say.

Psychic Girl Found Innocent Thanks to Supernatural Intervention!

All of his plans with experimentation on this psychic girl, ruined because of this stupid little ghost! This was going to set him back years if he can’t find a way to control the situation! Where did he even come from?!

No, no, he couldn’t let failure distract him, no matter how much it humiliated him. He had to figure out why Serene had searched up information about this ‘Richard’ individual, and why this ghost is helping her. Hopefully his employees have already-

“Sir.” He didn’t move, but his eyes glancing up to the agent that entered his office told that he was paying attention. “We’re in touch with Mr. Richard, and he’s asking for our protection in exchange for his information.”

At this, Thomas looked up to the agent, a brow raising. “Protection? From what?”

“From Mortis, sir. Claims that they knew each other.”

General Thomas paused, his frown slowly fading away. This could be the key to solving this little setback. “Very well. Let’s hear him out.”

---

Next Chapter

#Serene Cirillo #Mortis (character) #General Thomas #Richard (character) #The Miracle Mind of Serene #The Tale of a Girl and a Ghost #The Miracle Mind of Serene: the Tale of a Girl and a Ghost

[jeffbytes]

elaborating a bit more on Nick's importance to me, something i've only really recently felt more inclined to look back on and resurface in my mind given the..... nature... of this story 🥲 going back through my old facebook to find the images has definitely tightened my chest a lot as i'm writing this, but i think it's as good a time as any to share now i've done so.

trigger warning for domestic violence / physical assault. contains content made pre transition, identities and characters i no longer use, please respect this and do not use them

observing the bittersweet horrors below the cut

the movie released in 2016. i was 19 / 20 yrs old at the time. i was still a furry, identifying with the label, with a "fursona" all that jazz (i still have animal sonas and interest in costuming as my sonas now, i just dont identify as a furry or interact with the community / go to the meet ups anymore). most importantly i was in a co habiting relationship with my then boyfriend, who we will refer to as L (bc he certainly didnt act like a W lol....)

we've got the trigger warning out of the way so i'll be frank - L was my abuser. i was a domestic violence victim to this man. he was unpredictable, attacked me in my own home several times a week, over mundane things like a chore needing doing or not smoking inside or needing to wake him up at 4pm. it's stuff that still haunts me to this very day (high intensity therapy finally happening, end of this year) that i wont elaborate much more on but it was BAD, ok. really really bad, shit you only see happening in movies. i was nearly DEAD, on the last occassion. i lived that horror for over a year whilst we lived together, and the knock on effect its had... i have not been able to work since, i lost my job due to needing to be sent to hospital on my shift a couple days after and fired for my "inconsistent appearence" at work. i lost everything to this man. i've only just started coming out of my shell in terms of holding a relationship in the last 2 years, largely in part given to the bravery that self shipping has brought me.

so here we mention Zootopia. Zootropolis over here w/e it's not important - Zootopia released in the same year 2016, after much hype from myself it was one of few things keeping me going at the time the awaited release of this movie, and i fell hard for Nick. how much i related to his character (even more so in recent times) how tender he seemed underneath everything and his turn around, everything about this character comforted me.

and i started to selfship with him! i didnt know what selfshipping was at the time, it was just me drawing my at the time fursona with him romantically and had no idea the SS community existed until just a few years ago. i never really felt the need to ship with characters when i was in IRL relationships before - and the fact i started drawing myself with Nick was an eye opener for me that something wasn't right for me. that i was deep down seeking refuge in a fictional relationship bc i was starting to break down and come to terms with the fact my IRL relationship was not only unhealthy, but dangerous.

it was the comfort of shipping with Nick and that realisation it gave me that gave me the wake up call i needed. one morning L was on another of his hands on tyrades, and scared our poor elderly cat, seeing my baby scared and knowing i'd been putting my heart into new outlets, i ejected him from the property that day. sure, L was able to manipulate his way back into my life for another couple months later that year that ended the exact same way (for good this time, good riddance) but in that moment i knew i wanted better than what i had when i found that in Nick at the time.

while my self ship with him has been quite on and off since then, i'll never forget the part he played in essentially saving my life. aforementioned, L nearly KILLED ME one time, right towards the end of that second appearence i mentioned before. i'll spare the specifics, i'm lucky to be alive.

i don't know where i would be without that wake up call. Nick and my sweet elderly cat Clawey rest in peace, they both saved my life in 2016 and i'm forever grateful for that ;___;

#jeffs personal posts #no other tags for this one naturally #replies are fine! i just turned off RBs due to the nature of it #tw domestic violence #greywilde

[odaatlover]

hi! how long did you know you were trans? I think i am, it’s been on my mind for about 7 years now, and me pronouns feel right, (born female) but i also don’t know how to ask people to start changing what they refer to me as? i don’t know if you have any advice for me, or if any of this is too prying/personal but i could use some guidance if you could offer it. :)

Hey there! It’s hard to pinpoint an exact moment when I knew I was trans because it was a lot of different moments - both big and small - that led to my decision to transition. From an early age I wanted to be a boy, literally as long as I can remember. I would make birthday wishes to wake up the next morning as a boy. I would choose boy avatars and video game characters anytime I had the option because it was the only time I got to be one; in a pretend world. But at this age I didn’t realize this meant that I was trans. I thought everyone felt this way and did these things…which I now know is not the case 😂

When I was around 20 I started to question my gender identity. I knew I didn’t feel like a woman, but I didn’t realize that I was a man. I was still stuck in the mentality of what had been engrained in me my entire life - I’m a female, therefore I’m not a man. Also this was 2012 so there wasn’t that much trans representation out there. At least not like there is today.

At 27 years old I started binding. I still had long hair though, but I gradually cut it shorter and shorter over time (every couple months I’d cut it). At that time I started to look into testosterone to become more androgynous looking. I identified as non-binary because I didn’t feel like a woman, nor a man.

And then about 9 months later a month before turning 28, I started testosterone. My voice changed rather quickly. There was a noticeable difference within the first week. My face also started to change too. As all of these changes happened, I became more and more excited. The more people read me as a man, the more I felt seen. I didn’t want to be gendered as a woman or anything that wasn’t a man because it felt wrong and I hated it. This was when I realized I’m not non-binary, I’m a trans man. So about 2 months after starting testosterone I changed my pronouns and started going by a more masculine name - which I have changed legally since then! All of those moments growing up suddenly made sense. The whole reason I didn’t feel like a man before was because I was trying to relate manhood to the experiences of the men I knew - cisgender men. But obviously as someone who is AFAB, my experiences won’t be the same. It took me a long time to figure that out, but the more my body because more masculine and matched who I am on the inside, the more everything clicked. I don’t think I ever would have discovered that if I hadn’t started testosterone.

So that’s my story! As for advice on changing pronouns, just start telling people. That’s what I did. I also posted it on social media so people knew. I don’t have much advice on how to change your pronouns when you are around people who refuse to use them, as I’ve never come across that issue luckily. I’ve only ever worked at places that were accepting and encouraging/supportive of my transition, and all of my family members who weren’t supported I cut ties with…which was basically all of them lol. I realized I deserved to be happy, and chose myself over them. Plus, the thought of having only one life to live and spending it pleasing others at my own expense gave me a ton of anxiety, so cutting off those toxic relations also helped my anxiety tremendously. I haven’t had a single panic attack since!

At this point I’m rambling, but I hope this was at least somewhat the answer you were looking for! Best of luck to you, and remember to just do the things that make you happy, because you deserve that 😊

#asks #gender stuff

[sweettee18]

Star Wars imagines.

Sorry guys, no smuts.

Imagine your adopted daughter, Henrietta, throwing DJ under the bus after selling you, Finn, Rose to the First Order. And she managed to get Hux to let you all escape.🤣

You were all just captured by the First Order, thanks to DJ for selling you guys out. At this moment you were beyond pissed, you were furious that you can almost see your blood underneath your skin boil as DJ walks away to his shuttle with the payment that Captain Phasma had given him.

But, as fate would have it, your adopted daughter, Henrietta, who was no more than seven years old, looked up at you, and let’s just say, I guess you didn’t teach her how to use her inside voice from time to time. But you may be glad that she said it loud enough for everyone in the hanger of the Finalizer to hear her echoes and that it has saved not only you, but Finn and Roses’ lives.

She says, “Isn’t DJ going to turn that redheaded man over to the Resistance after selling us out?”

Almost immediately, all eyes and heads turn to you and Henriettas’ direction, including Finn and Rose. “ What was that she just said?”Asked Finn after hearing what Henrietta said. “I think she just threw DJ under the bus.” Rose managed to whisper to Finn.

General Hux, who was standing at least 20 feet away from where you both were standing, looked over to one of his storm troopers, and ordered him, “Bring me the little one.” 

The storm trooper did as he was told, and surprisingly, he did not grab her by the arm, or by the wrist, but by her hand. The storm trooper placed Henrietta before Hux and left to join the rest of the troopers. Henrietta began to shake, and she looked over at her mother, being very scared of what he might do to her.

The general began to walk toward her and got down to her level, with his hands behind his back, and he asked her,“What is your name, young lady?”

“Henrietta.” She says, with her voice still a bit shaken.

General Hux lifted his eyebrows as he replied to her, “That is a beautiful name for a small girl like you. Do you know who I am?”

Henrietta nodded her head and replied, this time, her voice was more steady. “Your name is General Hux of the First Order.”

“Very good, someone has taught you very well of who to identify.”

Henrietta looked at you with a frightened look, and you gave her a nod. Hux gently grabs your daughters face and turns her back in his direction. He continued, “Would you care to repeat what you just said earlier about me being handed over to the Resistance?” She took a deep breath and says it again.

“ DJ said he was going to hand over to the Resistance after selling us out to the First Order.”

Almost immediately everybody, including Phasma, started looking at each other, and then they turn back to DJ, who try to run, but luckily, some storm troopers blocked his way. At this point, you were thinking, “I think DJ just got canned.”

The general look at Henrietta, with his eyes completely wide with rage. He stood up to his respective height and signaled the same storm trooper to have Henrietta returned back to her mother. Even from far away, everyone saw that Huxs’ face went from pale snow white, to tomato red, almost as if to match the color of his ginger hair.

Immediately, the general snaps his fingers and pointed out to have DJ be brought over to him and take back the payment that he was given.

DJ began to stutter, trying to find an excuse,“I-I-I don’t know w-what she’s talking about. She must’ve misunderstood. You know kids these days, they hear things that may be made up in their mind”

That comment made you really mad. But you couldn’t do anything about it because you, along with the rest of your friends and your daughter were handcuffed. Before you could say a word, Hux balled up his fist, and it made a connection to DJs face. BAM!!

Finn and Rose, never thought Hux could punch so hard that it almost knocked DJ off of his feet. But the storm troopers were holding him., “Take this filth into confinement.”Hux manage to say through his gritted teeth. 

As DJ was being dragged down the hall to his new residence on the Finalizer, he turned back to Henrietta and walk toward you and Henrietta. You clutched your daughter very tightly, hoping that he wouldn’t try to snatch her up. But instead, he looked at you and said, “You must be her mother.”

“Adoptive mother.”Hux was taken aback when you said this. Again, he speaks, “Well, it seems that she is in good hands. You have a brave little girl here. You should be very proud of her.”

“As a matter of fact, I am very proud of her.” You reply back to Hux as he gets back down to your daughters’ level. “Since you’re the one who had exposed DJ for his deception, and his true intentions, whatever it is that you want, young lady, I will see to it that it will be granted.” 

Henrietta looked at Hux, they looked back at you. Then she looked back at Hux again, and she says, with most confidence in her voice, “I don’t want any money, no luxuries and no toys. I just want me,my friends and my mother to leave this place, never to be seen or heard from again.”

Hux was taken aback at Henrietta’s request. He looked back at Finn with disgust, but he looked back at Henrietta, he then closed his eyes and took a deep breath and said to the storm troopers who were holding Finn and Rose hostage,“Release them.”

They did not hesitate to do what they were told. As soon as the handcuffs fell off their wrists, they made their way the hallway where they came in followed by you and Henrietta.

Captain Phasma walked over to Hux I asked, “Do you have any idea what you just did?”

Hux turned to her with the most evil smirk on his face. “I do believe I know what I just did, but they don’t have to know about it.” Behind her helmet she too, was smirking. 

The group make it to another shuttle, and made their way back to the resistance on Crait. Where Leia, who happened to be the godmother to Henrietta, was waiting for them as everyone was preparing to battle the First Order 

Thank you for reading this. Hope you guys enjoyed it.

#starwarsfan #Imagine #Star Wars fanfic #Captured #Spared #DJ getting canned #Star Wars X reader #Finn x reader #Rose X reader #adopted daughter #Armitage Hux #Captain Phasma #starwars

[come-along-pond]

TEN FACTS ABOUT EVERY HP OC YOU HAVE GO

Are you ready for 80 facts??? NDKDKEKEK. EIGHTY.

Under the cut because good lord. Thank you for indulging me❤️. I may actually have another OC I want to introduce 😭

Universe 1:

Grace Marsh:

The sorting hat nearly put her in Ravenclaw

Her marauder nickname is ‘Felis’

Her Animagi is a grey tabby cat

The first friend she makes at Hogwarts is James

Marlene is her best female friend

Became the girls dorms pet as a cat and The Marauders tease her endlessly for it

She got pregnant a few months after leaving hogwarts

The first person she told about her pregnancy was Remus

bought Sirius a promise ring in seventh year

born March 1960

Amelie Black:

Is actually amazing at non verbal magic (it’s the Black family vibes djdkke)

She becomes a transfiguration teacher at hogwarts

Her middle name is Marlene

Urged Harry to complete his 7th year with Hermione, and then to become to DADA teacher

Fell in love with Fred in her 4th year when he comforted her through her father’s escape from azkaban

She was born in May 1979

Runs away from the malfoy’s in the summer before her fifth year

destroys the black family tapestry after the war

Never felt close to her mother until she realised she was also pregnant at 19

is the best auntie to the next gen weasleys

Flynn Early:

Muggle baby

Fell in love with Amelie the moment he saw her

Legit spent 5 months trying to figure out if any of the random men picking up the twins from primary school were dating Amelie (later found out it was their long list of uncles)

Became a massive Quidditch fan, Amelie takes him to one of Ginny’s games after she reveals the magical world to him and he is HYPED

When he and Amelie get married, he takes her surname

He’s irish!

He’s a teacher! He’s a trainee when he meets Amelie

Asked for George, Ginny and Harry’s permission to propose to Amelie (and the twins but they were like 7)

Once saw a picture of Sirius and went ‘God your dad was hot’

Went to Harry ‘Jesus Christ man you need therapy’

Grace Weasley-Black:

She’s a ravenclaw!

Cried when she saw Fred’s portrait at Hogwarts

Is very much a mummy’s girl, although her relationship with Amelie is rocky at times

actually loves Flynn, thinks he’s the best step dad ever

Loves uncle Harry

Middle name is Minerva

She’s a Ravenclaw!

Is James Sirius’ bad influence

Older Twin

Is a tea person

Ginevra Weasley-Black:

Her nickname is ‘Dora’ as her middle name is Nymphadora.

She’s a Gryffindor

Looks up to Ginny SO MUCH

Misses a father she never met because she KNOWS she would have been a daddy’s girl

Younger Twin

is a coffee person

Gets on with George SO well. This girl is a weasley through and through

teases Teddy about him being her god brother and god uncle dkdkkdkek

is the gryffindor team’s chaser

born on the 25th of Jan 1999

Universe 2:

Freyja Trelawney:

Ravenclaw girlies unite ndjdjd

Her singular seer vision is of Harry dying in Deathly Hallows

In her 20s she starts doing tarot readings in the muggle world

She was always a little bit jealous of the golden trio, she wanted a friendship like that

Her and Luna are besties

Her aunt gives her pocket money in her hogwarts years

Her father took her mother’s name

Her fav season is Spring

She hates drawing, just can’t get the hang of it

Harry took her to a pottery class once and she adores it now

Lucy Porter:

She was homeschooled

Her father’s a muggleborn

Her mother a pureblood

She comes from a family of hufflepuffs

her dad sent her to a primary school as a kid

She wanted to become a hairdresser when she was little

She identifies as queer

owns several pairs of heart shaped sunglasses

her fav colour is yellow

she hates hot chocolate

Universe 3:

Violetta Black:

Cried when she heard the news that Sirius was a gryffindor, because she knew her family would never forgive him

used to sneak out of her room when she had nightmares and go to Sirius

This changes to Regulus in Hogwarts

James saw some Gryffindors giving her shit and absolutely demolished them. neither mentioned it ever again

Narcissa teaches her how to be a ‘lady’, how to lie and keep your personality in the face of powerful men

Sirius taught her how to do eyeliner

She cut her hair in fifth year after Regulus’s death, eventually letting it grow over the next 2 years.

Never believed Sirius betrayed The Potters

She was in her seventh year at Hogwarts when Sirius was arrested

Remus finds Sirius sobbing in Violetta’s room after her death, clinging on to a locket she wore, he never knew it held a portrait of him and Regulus as children until after she died.

#it has taken me all day to do this lol #tw: hp #oc: Freyja Trelawney #oc: lucy porter #oc: grash marsh #oc: amelia black #oc: Ginevra weasley black #oc: Grace weasley black #oc: violetta black