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catboyfics · 9 months

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YEAH I PLAY OMORI AND AS SOON AS I SAW "black space" I WAS LIKE OMORI????? btw this is just a platonic fic because i don't write romantic fics for fem!characters :D

also i'm so sorry i didn't see that you wanted it as a drabble and i fell so in love with the idea because i love omori so much kasdhfaksjdkfa i hope you don't mind it's a little long i was a little self indulgent

also another note i gave them the ability to manipulate reality with mirrors and like conjure and get rid of things and make you like hallucinate and change people's perception of things? its kind of all over the place but its me so don't be surprised.

Sweet Dreams

𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻

𝑭𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑶𝑴: Valorant

𝑷𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮: fade x gn reader (platonic) (could be read as romantic)

𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑹𝑬 & 𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺: hurt/comfort but like spooky; gn reader; symptoms of depression, hallucinations, signs of derealization and dissociation

𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑫𝑺: 1.2k

The air was sharp, sulfurous as it passed through your nose. You grimaced, detesting the foul scent. Black sludge sloshed under your feet, waving as if there was something swimming underneath it. You decided that thinking little of it would be better.

It was dark, you could hardly see. In the distance, in every direction there were bright white lightbulbs, the exact same as the one right over your head. They didn't radiate light, though. They shone as if their brightness was trapped inside confining glass walls.

You grabbed a bullet from the pistol hanging at your hip and tied it to the bulb above your head with a piece of string. Then, you walked forward, seeing how far you could go. Were there walls? Was it just an infinite void?

The sludge gave only slightly under your feet, whatever was under it was following with you. You neared one of the other lightbulbs, but it was no different. Tied to it, there was a bullet. A bullet from your pistol.

You sighed. You'd had this dream before. It had started a few nights ago, and the dream only got worse and worse. You had no hope in changing it.

Suddenly, the black sludge started to grow around you. You breath caught in your throat, eyes widening in terror as it rose above your head.

You tried to run, desperately trying to separate your feet from the darkness beneath them, all for naught. Dark tentacles rose from the sludge, wrapping themselves around your ankles.

Your heart dropped to your toes as you began to sink. You could no longer move, more tentacles creeping out and wrapping themselves around your entire body.

You sank deeper and deeper, eventually nearing your face. The lightbulb above you shattered, broken glass raining down onto your head as you squeezed your eyes shut.

Emerged in total darkness, you were eventually pulled completely under. The darkness forced its way into your mouth, tasting like sulfur and gas.

Your eyes couldn't close, and you could feel the substance forcing its way behind them. It went up your nose, travelled down your airways, filled your stomach. It flowed through your veins, forced its way into your flesh.

It was taking you over completely. You tried to draw your mirrors, you tried to conjugate something into existence to free yourself. It didn't work.

And finally, you relaxed. You let it take hold of you, and you realized that really, it wasn't so bad. It was so much better than the real world. There was nothing to hurt you there, it was so peaceful.

Suddenly, you awoke, tears dripping from your eyes and sweat gluing you to the sheets. You lifted your hands to your face, feeling yourself.

It was all a dream. That became your mantra. That 'dream', though, it took up your waking hours as well. You thought about it incessantly. What did it mean? It seemed so much better than this godawful world, filled with violence and hatred.

You slowly made your way out of bed. You wouldn't return. It was about four in the morning. No sane person should wake at such a time, but at this point you didn't know if you counted as 'sane'.

You shut the closet door, remembering the stories of monsters that your mother fed you as a child. You checked under your bed, seeing that nothing malicious hid under, ready to attack. Your dreams were peaceful, but you never knew what horrors may exist during your waking hours. You gulped your heart down, returning it to its place in your chest.

You sighed, making your way out the door of your room and to the kitchen. You filled the kettle and flicked the switch, turning it on. As it boiled, you poured instant coffee into one of the protocol mugs.

You jumped when you heard footsteps approaching the kitchen, looking through the doorway to see who it was. It was the one and only Fade, the seer of fears. You dreaded the words yet to come out of her mouth.

Your mouth dried as you returned to your cup of shitty coffee. You didn't greet her when she entered the kitchen, avoiding eye contact. Before, you'd be happy to see her, you'd greet her, perhaps to her dismay. You got along well with people, you liked to think. Well, you did. Not so much anymore.

"Hey." Fade greeted tiredly, looking at you expectantly, though your back remained to her.

"Hi." You

mumbled quietly, nearly inaudible. You stirred your coffee aggressively with a wooden stirrer, careful not to get any of the boiling water on your hands.

You didn't say anything else. You remained silent, as did Fade. Neither of you wanted to speak, though you reckoned it was for different reasons. The silence was suffocating, reminding you why you hated being awake so much. Maybe you should return to your bed, it would be so much more peaceful.

"It feels like you're leaving us." Fade said, finally. She broke the silence that was driving you insane. You didn't respond to her, didn't turn around and look back. You remained staring at your coffee, still stirring it aimlessly. You were sure it had dissolved, but stopping felt pointless.

"I've been in your dreams. They're trying to take you from us." She continued, voice swirling around your head. 'So what?' You thought to yourself. 'So what if they take me? They're so much better than this horrible place.' You hated that your thoughts had turned so malicious, but it was difficult to avoid. That dream which had continued through the nights was become your safe space, even if it wasn't fit to be such a thing.

"Please don't let them take you. I fear something is wrong. You talk so little now, it feels like you've disappeared. You're gone in your room all day, except for when you're sent on mission. You've nearly died because you haven't been paying attention."

Something in her words struck you. You didn't remember much from the missions you'd been on in the time since that dream had started plaguing you, but you remembered when one of the opponent's bullets had scraped the side of your face. Raze had shoved you out of the way just in time.

You felt bad. You were leaving them. They didn't deserve that.

"I'm sorry." You muttered quietly. You turned around, only to see Fade shaking her head as she stared at you.

"It is not your fault. I fear something is happening, and there is very little that I fear. I believe it is plaguing you as well. Both of us manipulate the human mind, and we are not so different. This vision of mine may be rubbing off on you, and for that, I apologize. You must stay awake, though. This will not pass easily."

With that, she left the kitchen. Her words left a shiver in your core. Finally, you realized. Your dream was not peace, it was violence incarnate. You were a single dead face amongst many, an entire ocean. Death may be peaceful, but it is not the answer.

"Thank you, Fade. My sense has returned to me now. We will overcome this." You whispered to your coffee. For some reason, and it may have just been your tired mind, you though you saw the shape of an eye in your coffee.

i hope you liked it!!! im so sorry it took so long i havent been super motivated to write recently :<

remember to drink water :D

#fade x gn reader #fade x reader #fade x male reader #fade x female reader #platonic #could be read as romantic #valorant #valorant x reader #valorant x gn reader #valorant x male reader #valorant x female reader #gn reader #reader #female reader #male reader #valorant protocol #fade #the spooks #jasper's fics

56 notes · View notes

beescake · 3 months

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PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU

HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂

also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read

i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.

sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.

and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.

aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me

how much more. raw it is

to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about

with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note

because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.

it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going

and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.

or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.

sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.

and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.

i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.

there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.

contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.

her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.

there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo

with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.

the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.

unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.

however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.

their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.

taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.

even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.

but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.

to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.

and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.

i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.

idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.

i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.

to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.

back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.

but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.

no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.

even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.

not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.

it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.

but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.

sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.

but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck

lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.

hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.

ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.

maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.

and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.

they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.

they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.

optional post-canon segment:

one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).

hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.

that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again

but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.

it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it

idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible

srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)