#child-me to do it too and i’m. fucking ashamed of myself but god

[chi-icha]

This is a very oddly specific request, but is it possible for you to have a comfort scenario with Wanderer/Scaramouche where an autistic reader has been feeling insecure and hurt regarding their flat affect because a manager at work essentially embarrassed them publicly by treating them like a child and accused them of "having attitude" when they were asking a simple question all because the manager decided a monotonous voice = attitude, and because of that they've started masking more obviously, have stopped speaking as often for the most part and only use very exaggerated and fake tones when they do speak.

I recently this happen to me and the whole argument with my manager has left me so embarrassed and ashamed of my autism, my meltdowns and my flat affect that I'm literally handing my resignation in the next shift I have and I'd love a comfort scenario for it, especially since I tend to see Wanderer as autistic, since his vocal tone in EN feels very similar to my own in some ways- I feel like he'd get it.

I apologise if the prompt is too overly specific or if it's unclear but I felt I'd ask anyway because I feel so hurt ashamed right now and don't even want to speak anymore and I hate feeling like that over something I have no control of.

oh dear, i’m really sorry that happened to u :( i understand how hard it is to communicate when you have difficulty doing it. even if i myself don’t have autism, i understand that people who do have difficulty in daily life. people all around should respect and try to help instead of making a whole deal out of it

and don’t apologise!! nothing is your fault to begin with, and you don’t have to apologise for something you can’t control or are not even conscious about it.

you feel your eyes prick with tears, even if you don’t want to cry. it makes you feel weak, and no one should be weak, or so you thought.

you feel like punching your manager, but that’s not allowed. what else are you supposed to do? just let them treat you like a child and deal with it. fuck, no.

you sit down on a bench in a particularly isolated area in Sumeru, hoping to god no one comes and bothers at this time of day. After fighting with your manager about something that could’ve just been resolved without a problem, you feel exhausted, lonely, even.

“crying alone? I thought I’d never see the day.” a slightly flat voice comes from in front of you, a few metres away. you know that voice, and it gives a slight smile to your face and a warm feeling in your chest.

there he stood, crossing his arms while having a small, amused smile on his face. but it’s not the kind of smile that’s meant to mock you, it’s more like a jab that close friends do; harmless and a little funny despite the situation.

“shut up..” you mumble while gently wiping your eyes, the smile rising on your face despite trying to hide it, not wanting to please that fucker. Wanderer huffs softly, then invites himself to sit beside you and crosses his legs while propping his chin on his palm, elbow neatly placed on his knee just so he could get a good look at you.

sure, seeing you cry was a little rare to see since you always seem so.. monotonous or flat, for lack of better word. he knew little bits of what your relationship with your manager was, and to say he was disgusted was an understatement at best.

“manager?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow and tilting his head slightly to the side.

he knew how to read you like an open book, which is both a blessing and a curse.

“yeah,” your voice was soft, and he immediately caught up on that. usually your voice would be at the same pitch he’s used to. “nothing much though, just..”

you trail off, not knowing how to finish your sentence without thinking of how much of wuss you sound like. you bite your lip, and his form a soft frown.

the silence draws for a little longer, and you feel like you should’ve shut up. your head hangs low, your thumbs fiddling together and mentally beating yourself up for creating such an awkward atmosphere from just trying to speak. fuck, why was speaking so hard—

he hums, just a flat one that seemed to silently say he understood whatever you were trying to silently say.

he inches closer, hand holding the back of your head before pulling your body close to his. he hopes his artificial skin would help you warm up, even if just a little could be nice.

with the help of his comforting touch despite the coldness of his artificial skin, you chuckle softly despite the tears gently streaming down your cheeks. just small ones, but wanderer finds himself wiping them away anyway.

“that’s enough crying,” he cringes at his own voice, failing miserably at trying to form a warm tone and he stays silent, hoping you just understand that he’s genuinely trying to comfort you.

you smile softly, burying your face a little on his neck to not let anyone else see you cry as your arms softly wrap around him, squeezing gently to relieve some of your own tension.

“thank you.”

your voice was but a whisper, but he finds his skin to redden slightly anyway.

please please pleasee correct me if anything is incorrect about autism or any other issues about my writing :(( i have no friends or relatives who have autism, so i really don’t know what it’s like. i made a little research about it but i really don’t know if it’s correct or not 😔

#again really sorry that happened to you #no person should ever be treated like a child due to a disability they can’t control >:( #many hugs from chi to u nonnie <33 #genshim impact #genshin #scaramouche #wanderer #wanderer x reader #genshin x reader #scaramouche x reader

[sopejinsunflower]

a/n: I had this idea while entertaining the thought of writing a fic as a bunch of letters instead of the usual narration. But since I’m focused on writing Eidolons now, I decided to change it up a bit. For those who read all of my individual member’s one shot, you will know that none of them had any resolution. So here is a sort of closure to those one shots, written in the form of letters. I put it under OT7 because, well, technically they are? So before you read this one, I suggest you read the one shots first or these won’t make sense lol

Summary: The members wrote a letter to you in regards to their individual stories on my one shots. Unedited

Tags: AU! Short imagines, angsty, fluff

Pairing: Namjoon x you, Jin x you, Yoongi x you, Hoseok x you, Jimin x you, Taehyung x you, Jungkook x you

Namjoon

My dearest y/n,

I know you don’t want to hear it (or read it) but I just feel like I need to let you know you were the love of my life, the light of my soul and the missing piece to my puzzle. You were everything to me and I fucked that up. 

I threw away the one thing I’ve been looking to find, destroyed the one good thing I ever had in my life to chase a glimmer that I thought was gold. But it wasn’t and losing you was a true wake up call. I was greedy and selfish, blinded by my own ego and insecurity to properly come to terms with my own indiscretion. I hurt you the way I promised myself to never do. I broke my wedding vow to you. Nothing I say or do can ever mend this.

To be honest, losing you is a fear that has always been there at the edge of my mind since the day I met you. You were so perfect, so beautiful, so charming I was melted butter in your hands. I fell in love with you faster than I can say “That’s crazy!” but I did, baby. I did. I saw our future together, the life I wanted to have with you, growing old with you. I could see the kids we would have, running around the house, little pitter patter of feet that I would miss when I have to go on my work trips. 

How stupid I was to have done what I did. I was weak and pathetic and gave in to lust and my alcohol-clouded mind. But she didn't mean anything, just a one time thing. Those two weeks put me through hell, wondering how to even come clean. I felt so guilty. What was even worse was the fact that my insecurity caused me to question if you in turn. I couldn’t deal with the blunder I made and had somehow wishfully thought that maybe you had done the same, that way the blame could be shifted. All those times I left you home alone for weeks on end, all those times I couldn’t be there for you.

It was unfair of me to go after your longtime friendship with Min Yoongi. I should’ve known better. I don’t know. I don’t know what was going through my head then. I wish I could take it all back! I wish I could go back in time and make everything okay again. But this is another wishful thinking. 

I miss you so much. The emptiness I feel grows too large for anything else to fill my heart. Any other new partners were just bed warmers; they’re not you. No one can ever be you. No one can ever take your place. And I think it’s fine like this. I’m better off alone. 

I saw a picture of our daughter on Yoongi’s Instagram. She’s gorgeous, just like her mother. I spent the whole night crying on the bathroom floor when I saw that photo. God, what have I done? My family. I broke us up before it even began. You must wonder why I don’t reach out, why I don’t want to see her, why I refuse custody. I’m ashamed, y/n. I’m ashamed of the things I did and I don’t want our daughter to have such a scum of a father. Don’t worry about child support, that will always come. It’s my new vow to you. I’ve set up a trust fund for her that should take care of her long after I’m gone. 

   Yoongi is a good uncle, I can tell. She seems to adore him. He’s a great father figure and it’s all she would ever need. I’m sorry for everything; the pain, the heartache, the betrayal. I can’t say it enough. But I can see that you’re happy now, happier without me. And it’s my only source of happiness, too. You deserve more, baby. You deserve everything I couldn’t give to you and everything that I took away from you.

I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you forgive me. I love you, y/n. I still do even after all these years. I don’t think I will ever stop and it’s the one thing I’ll take to my grave. 

Always and forever yours,

Namjoon.

Note: He never sent this letter, buried somewhere in the drawer of his home office. He had wanted to, even had it stamped. But he thought he had done enough damage. The letter is merely what he wishes he could have said to you.

Jin

To y/n,

I’m a piece of shit, I know. I’ve been told. Many times. But I’m a hot piece of shit. Okay, not funny. 

I’m writing this letter because I think you blocked me? And seems like you’ve moved, too. The new address your building manager gave me looks like a really nice house. Did you get married? If yes, congratulations. You’re a great girl, I’m sure you found someone just as amazing.

Look, I’m writing this to just apologise for what I did. It was a shitty thing to do, careless and selfish. In my defence, it started out all in good fun. You didn’t know who I was and I liked that. Compared to the usual screaming and frenzy when people see me, having someone who had no clue who I was, was refreshing. And you were cute and I had initially just wanted to tease you. I honestly didn’t know that it would turn out this way.

I lost a good friend because of this. And I don’t have many friends to begin with, being in this industry. Everybody seems to want to hang out with me because they want something. Money, usually. It’s a lonely life so don’t get famous, okay? Haha. 

I don’t know why I’m writing you this letter or why I’m desperate for you to have it. I’m not a bad person. At least, I don’t think so. The girls that came and went were only there because they wanted a glimpse of the glamorous life. But once they learn that it’s not so glamorous, they leave. I’m not one to brood over people like that but there’s been too many too much. It’s getting exhausting. It is exhausting. 

Then I remembered you. You who wanted nothing but an actual connection but I guess I haven’t had much of that so I didn’t recognise it at first. So I played that game, mostly for anonymity because I had liked that you liked talking to me as a person, a human being. But that was the extent of it. Anything else more was just an attempt at trying to exert whatever dominance I could to save my bruised ego, and for that I’m truly sorry. 

I don’t want to write too long but I hope you know this is sincere. Are you still not watching TV? Did you see my latest movie? You should. I look good in it. 

I hope you read this letter. If not, it’s okay, too. Whatever your choice is, I’m thankful for that brief moment when you saw right through me. I had needed that.

Sincerely,

Jin.

P/S: Btw, Jungkook had no part in this. I hope you weren’t too hard on him. He’s a good kid. I miss him.

Note: Jin had written a separate letter for Jungkook, sent via a postcard from Italy. The picture was a flag of Italy with the caption Grab Life by the Meatballs, in large capital letters. It was sent to Jungkook’s family home address.

Jungkook-ah,

I’m sorry I was an asshole. Where did you move to? I’ve been trying to find you but it seems that you just disappeared. Please, call me. Your hyung misses you and would prefer a hard knock on the head rather than this silent treatment. I fucked up, I know. But I want to make it right. You were like a brother to me and I’m sorry I let you down and hurt you. 

Call me, please. When you’re ready to talk. 

Hyung.

Yoongi

Dear y/n,

How have you been? I haven’t heard from you in awhile, but then again, I guess that’s kind of the point. 

Y’know, it’s funny. I thought I saw you the other day at the train station. But when I tried to find you, you weren’t there. I probably made you up, seeing things that I’ve been dying to see. Yeah. I really miss you. And I know I shouldn’t be saying this. You deserved better. 

You were right. I couldn’t see what I had until it was already too late. I was too busy focusing on helping others put the pieces of their lives back together that I disregarded the life we had that was falling apart. I did this to us. I ruined us. I was too blind and selfish, too righteous in my own way to even see the damage I was doing to you, to us. I should’ve been there for you, should’ve done more. 

I took your patience for granted, gambling away chances after chances, thinking that I was doing the right thing. But, please believe me when I say that I didn’t mean to hurt you. Breaking your heart was my biggest regret. I threw away a love that was given to me so freely and so unconditionally. I see that now but I know it’s too late. 

I hope you are happy wherever you are. I hope the next man gives you everything I couldn’t and didn’t. I hope he takes you dancing every weekend because I know you love to dance. I hope he knows that your favourite bouquet is anything with baby’s breaths in them and I hope he gets a ton of them for you. I hope he knows how much you love your kids at the kindergarten and I hope he loves the way your eyes crinkle whenever you talk about them. I hope he holds your hand and never lets go. Like I did.

I know I don’t deserve it but I hope that one day you’ll forgive me for being a weak man. You probably don’t want to hear this but I just want you to know that I still love you. I did then and I will always. You were the one that got away.

Yours truly,

Yoongi.

Hoseok

Hey!

So, um, I’m here in New York. Just arrived. But, uh, you didn’t tell me which hotel you’re staying at lol text me back soon! I got the stuff you told me to bring. Can’t wait to see you.

Hoseokxx

He deleted the last sentence before pressing send.

Jimin

Jimin had nothing to say. He had deleted all of your contact details after the night of the threesome. His business runs as usual, including the underground, private parties in collaboration with Taehyung. He had no regrets.

Taehyung

To my future bride-to-be,

You can run but you can’t hide forever. Not from me, baby. Even if it takes months or years, I’ll find you. And when I do, you’ll regret running away from me. I told you, marry me or you’ll never find peace and a life in hiding is nowhere near peaceful. 

Come back, while I still have the grace to forgive you.

Signed,

Your only saviour.

Jungkook

Hello, my love, 

It still feels a little weird to be able to call you that. But like a good kind of weird. I’m just grinning to myself while I’m writing this. OMG, I’m so pathetic it’s cringey!

Ok, so I told you I suck at writing letters but since you wanted one, here you go! But…I don’t know what to say so I’ll just say whatever I feel like saying, I guess. I love you. HA! You probably know this already but god, I love you. So fucking much. Since that first time I saw you. 

I know the way we met was bad and I wish I could erase all that part but I don’t wanna. If I erase all of that, we wouldn’t have met and I would never get the chance to get to know you and we wouldn’t be here today. But I want to let you know that not a day went by without you in my mind, not a day passed that I wish I wasn’t such a coward and had just come clean or talked to you. 

I know we talked about this and I know we’ve moved past this but it’s important for me that you know that you’ve always been there, in the back of my mind, in everything that I do. And I hope you’ll remain here forever and always. I want you with every step of the way moving forward. I love waking up to you, I love going to sleep with you by my side. I love that Bam loves you! And I love the way you call him your boy, too, sometimes. I think that’s cute. He’s our boy. It sounds like we’re a family with a son, hehe

Okay, my handwriting is just getting worse now so maybe I’ll stop? I can say everything else to you face to face. My hand is cramping up. 

Thank you for coming back into my life, y/n. Thank you for finding it in your heart to give me a second chance. I promise I won’t waste it. I’ll do everything that I can to make it up to you going forward. I want nothing but good memories between us. I know it’s ridiculous and that yes, we’ll have fights and bad times ahead but I know we can get through it all. Together. But can you please leave the laundry to me? I, um, have a specific method to it. Thanks ❤️

Anyway, I’m expecting a reward for this letter. Later tonight? :3

Love you!

JK

Note: he had kept Jin’s ridiculous postcard in a drawer, for safekeeping. He’s not sure to reply or not yet. But he’s glad to have it, a reminder that maybe, there’s a chance to mend that bridge.

a/n2: well, lmk what you think in the comments or ask as usual :) if you like, pls like and reblog ❤️

Check out my other works → :MASTERLIST:

Tags:

@effielumiere @serendididy

#bts fic #bts one shot #bts x you #bts x reader #ot7 fic #bts ot7 #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #namjoon x you #jin x you #yoongi x you #hoseok x you #jimin x you #taehyung x you #jungkook x you #ot7 imagine #bts imagine #angst #fluff #bts angst #bts fluff

[bloggirl8842]

Bro yesterday i got a covid booster and it gave me a fever that didnt break til 7 am today so i didnt sleep til 7 am today and i wake up and go to work and i walk in and my coworker (who’s on my close friends because their partner is a good friend and was showing them everything anyway) is like “ARE YOU ABOUT TO GET ANOTHER JOB?” Bc I posted on my close friends story abt a full time creative job possibly wanting me. Why is the OFFICE THE PLACE YOU DECIDE BRING THIS UP? I refuse to act ashamed about it so I talk abt the possibility w them loud as hell while privately fuming. Anyways it’s a rainy day today and my coworker who runs a classroom w me is out so I have to keep the kids inside all day and I show up and they’re already screaming and fighting so I make them stand in the hall til they’re quiet. Then i assign seating and get them all to play this game where each table makes up a restaurant and a menu and all that and myself and one other student come through as customers. I also tell the kids that if they’re good they’ll get to go hang out with their friends an hour or two into the class.

They’re fucking awful. My boss is there helping me but I have to scream every other sentence because when I try to talk these kids don’t even look at me, one kid tries to sell heroin out of his restaurant and starts crying after because he’s so bored and he doesn’t get why everything’s taking so long (I tell him it’s him and the classroom’s fault, things shouldn’t have taken this long but nobody there has any respect for me or each other so we have to do things the hard way), one kid steals a pen or something from another and screams when asked what happened, kids switch tables constantly, the dumbest little boy I’ve known in my entire life steals the same yoga ball from the same child so many times that I end up screaming at him, my coworkers keep sending me their kids without checking in so random groups of kids keep popping up at my door, and one kid STABS ANOTHER KID IN THE FACE WITH A PENCIL. Literally spent half of my day screaming. One of the kids who’s usually disruptive and was awful during the beginning of the day (he’s usually such a handful that I sigh when I see him walk into my space) ended up being sweet and understanding towards the end. Shit was THAT bad. Eventually they get so rowdy and rulebreaky that I give up and just have them read or do homework or go on computers.

After work I go grocery shopping, the same coworker who spilled my business and also sent me kids without asking drives me there so I can’t be mad at him but I am taking him and his partner off of my close friends story bc they can’t keep shit to themselves, and it’s a whole foods so the stupid shit store doesn’t have plastic bags. I have to take two buses to get home. Whatever, that’s fine, but between buses my bag disintegrates, i drop this onion jam i was really excited to try in a FLOOD, my second bus purposefully skips me and I chase it for half a block asking them to stop before shrieking “fuck you” and screaming so loud that the guy who was singing “no church in the wild” at the top of his lungs across the street ran away. And then I accidentally drop my english muffins and my mint tea in the flood too and they get swept under a car so I grab the onion jam from where it lies in the road and throw it down so the glass’ll go everywhere. And then I start wailing but I can’t tell if I’m crying because it’s raining that hard. Oh my god also in the middle of all that my period started but it was really light so I just didn’t deal with it til I got home.

[daenerysoftarth]

Don’t read thanks babes. Posting here until I’m sober enough to copy and paste it somewhere else

Lol I feel like I hide an unnecessary amount of information on this blog. What would y’all do if I told you that I never met my dad and am considering meeting my paternal grandmother for the first time nextish year????????

Tbh I think it’s the shame. It’s just so so so strongly associated with anything to do with my father. And even typing that out feels horrendously vulnerable. Maybe I’ll hide this under a read more to assuage my ego at least a bit

Anyways just. The shame there is soooo fucking intense and I hate it. I hate feeling like it’s this big factor I have to account for but can’t look too closely at because my emotions are so complicated about it all. I know that sentence didn’t make sense but it did to ME so that’s what matters. But I’m deflecting

I’ve said it before but it has been a big part of my life, more so for how I’ve felt ostracized and othered from the time I was a child on account of not having a father. And the racism overlap???? Gotta love it. Facing microaggressions from my own family bc they’re white as hell, and the Latino half is inaccessible. Microaggressions I don’t even realize are microaggressions until almost 20 years later. Feeling constantly out of place, out of my skin, not quite belonging

Tbh I’ve never particularly wanted another family, but I have always really wanted a culture, an identity, a community to coalesce around. Especially being so Alone as I was, the only latina in a household of white people. Almost one of them but not quite 100%

Anyways point being. I feel like Jon Snow sometimes. Like ignoring the Themes and Plots and what makes them interesting bc it brings up too many Big Emotions. Meanwhile it’s that very subject matter is WHY you were written, it’s what makes you interesting and fascinating. And idk I know I shouldn’t think of my life from the pov of an omniscient narrator but it just kinda goes there. Bc who even is this omniscient narrator? Ancestors, God, who tf???? And what level of choice is involved here?????

I guess it’s just another way of using faith and divinity to try and find reason for difficult subjects. A kinda way to distance myself I guess.

Anyways we all just ignore It in my family which is kinda hilarious bc sometimes it’s really just staring everyone in the face. But mostly it makes me feel deeply ashamed of it all.

#my posts

[whatifyouleftme]

Something I want to unpack with my therapist is my jealousy in friendships.

But the AI bot, Sage, with Quora has some good insight/advice that I think I will take.

Two of my friends seem to have a much closer bond with each other than I with either of them. They have their own group chat with another friend who isn’t at the job anymore. I thought I was part of that group. I thought I had a good enough relationship with all of them to be included in hanging out with them all. We had a going away party for the friend and I learn at the party that they had went out prior together. I thought I was close enough to them to get a personal goodbye and not the generic see you later. I put so much more weight into the acquaintance[?]-ship than it really was. I wasn’t included in the plans and I feel left out.

I thought I was close to two of those three. I thought I was friends with them all. I don’t have close friends at this job. It’s a boohoo me story. It’s silly. But I feel jealous that I wasn’t included. I inserted myself in that previous hangout. I’m more of a bother than someone who is welcomed to join. I see myself as a burden to deal with than a friend to hang out with.

It feels like I’m just the work friend. I had a good conversation with one of them last night. He and I are good. I need to remind myself of that. It just feels like he’s better off without me.

I don’t want them to include me JUST to include me. I just… I thought I was close enough to them all to join in the fun. I thought I had that kind of relationship. Instead, it feels like I’m on my way out. I made no lasting friendships with any of them. I feel like I’m forgettable. I won’t be considered in the planning. Like they think I don’t care about them.

Is this a nice guy issue? Do I see myself as a nice guy? Am I a narcissist? Not everyone will be my friend. I just thought I built up a friendship with these three good enough to be included.

I am an asshole half the time. I am rude and belittle people. I am not someone who makes kind jokes to people. I am not a nice person. Am I just fucked regardless? I want them to tell me straight up how horrible I am.

I want them to make it clear that I’m not friends with them. I want them to tell me straight up, I’m bothering them. I am in my head too much. I don’t know how to analyze this interaction. I’m not well adjusted. I’m fucking broken and I hate that I am. I’m a boohoo sob story who loves his misery.

I hate my misery. I want to get better. I want to build up these relationships. Not for the sake of hanging out? Just so that I can freely call you when I need to. So that you can rely on me too.

I hate transactional relationships. I established them and they suck. It sucks.

Last Fall at the lunch table, we were discussing what he’d tell our future children. It was one of the rare occasions you stayed late. You turned to me and said “Are you okay? I just want everyone to be included in the conversation”. I was quiet. I wasn’t too cool to partake in the convo. I withheld my breath and made a god damn recount of my old instructor who later turned out to be a pedophile. It was fucked. It was how I coped.

I was too ashamed to say what I wanted to say: “I wouldn’t tell my child… that he asked for it. I’d tell him it wasn’t his fault at all. I’d tell him he was brave to speak out about it.” I was too scared to say that out loud because… I’d be saying it out loud. I wasn’t ready to start talking about it. I wasn’t ready for you to know I’m tarnished. I’m not brass where a patina develops. I started to rust away. I wasn’t ready to share with you and I’m not sure I am just yet.

I feel dirty and not worth your time or energy. Why burden you with this at all? You and I aren’t close friends. That’s what I’m getting from those plans. I am too scared for you to get too close. I had a crush on you and I didn’t want to get close to you. How self-sabotaging of me. I am not some stone that, in the light, you can see brilliance. I have too many inclusions. You try to facet me and I’ll break away to nothing worth selling. Nothing worth gawking at. Nothing worth holding up to the light and taking a photo of. I have too many inclusions. I have too many fuck-ups in my life to be considered worth any effort. That’s what it feels like. I’m not part of the group because it’s too much work to deal with me. I’m not worth your time.

I might tell you today.

#diary #me #personal #him #truth #therapy #friends #I use these text posts as just diary entries. #I don’t think I’m doing nay superior reason other than writing it out loud. #There’s not some ulterior motive to why I post these. #Maybe it is just a way to journal my emotions #I just need to figure out how to handle them #that’s what the therapist is for #I just don’t like waiting

[ragetears]

I'm nothing

“I don’t want to be anything.”

I told you this when my chest started growing. When I got my first period. 11 years old. You said - everyone said - it meant I was a woman now. I told you I didn’t want to be a woman. “So you want to be a man?” you scoffed, everyone scoffed. “No.” I said. 

“I don’t want to be anything.”

“I just want to be me.”

But I couldn’t be me without being a woman first. Woman. Woman. Woman. No other options. I was me but only in the context of “me” being a woman. So who am I to you? How can it be surprising when I tell you I’m just myself now? How can you act like no one would have seen it coming?

“Well,” You said to me, “that’s stupid.”

I’m starving myself. Trying to look like whatever “not a woman” is. Trying not to look like anything. I’m 16 years old, embarrassed. I let you take me to doctor after doctor trying to figure out what was wrong with me, too ashamed to admit the truth (I’m just not eating). They found something - the damage I did to myself (they thought it was natural, a fluke, another weird symptom for an already medically complicated child) - and gave me medicine that made me too hungry to starve anymore. I was devastated.

 I’ve permanently fucked up my body. I’m unable to get hungry without also getting nauseous enough to puke. Yet I still can’t help but think, when I look at my oversized chest, that maybe skipping lunch today would be a good idea. Mornings are rough. 

I’m 19 years old and my depression is worse than ever. I’m gaining more weight, gaining more “woman”. All I want to do is die. You think I’m not trying hard enough. I come out. You give me a book about an “ex-gay woman finding god”. Everything hurts. I feel alone, I want to die. Woman. Woman. Woman. That’s all I’ll ever be.

I’m the image of a woman now. Picturesque, hourglass, large chested, wide waisted, round faced. Picturesque becomes grotesque in the mirror, in my mind. Woman. Woman. Woman. That’s all I can see. That’s all anyone sees. I’m not me anymore. Have I ever been me? I can’t remember the last time I knew who “me” was. 

I’ll get over it. I’m just being dramatic. Following the trends. I can feel everyone behind my back laughing at me for being so juvenile. So stupid.

What happened? I gained a little courage. Just a little bit. I changed my name. Cut my hair. You still make comments - when I cried over my dying dog all you had to say was “See? You are a girl after all.”. Go fuck yourself. Girl. Girl. Girl. Woman. Woman. Woman. That’s all I’ll ever be to you. To anyone. 

 I ache with the longing of freedom. “I’m not a woman” I want to scream.

I’m not anything. I’m just me.  

#personal essay? #I think? #queer #writing #personal nonsense #gender #tw eating issues

[roguestarsailor]

I HATE BEING THIS OLD AND NOT KNOWING THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’vee been mad at my past self actually. watching stranger things* makes me feel this yearning for my childhood/teen years and wishing i’d done things differently. i sometimes regret how i spent it and now im a loser adult who hadn’t experienced ANYTHING and will never know the feeling of just being carefree. i mean i know why i didn’t do those things but god talking to other people, watching media depict these rich lives makes me soo sad; like i really am wasting my youth. the depiction of teenage love, having sex for the first time, going on dates, quiet glances in class, sooo many of those things i WISSSHHHH happened to me. even in college, i never got up the courage to do any of those things. now im moving to a different city and i’m literally not ready. i feel like a fucken child but im a grown ass woman who has never done anything ever. i have none of these experiences and quite frankly im so ashamed that i don’t--its embarassing!!! i dont want some stupid guy to teach me things; i wish i could have just done those things as a teen and not be so green about everything. i wish i was just normal!! i wish these things just came easily. i wish i could just date a man and enjoy it. i wish i didn’t stress about sex every time i talk to a man in a romantic setting. i wish i knew the feeling of wanting to kiss somebody. i wish i was just normal and did those things as a teen or early 20s. now i’m playing catch up and im really just standing there as everyone moves on with their lives. soo many of my friends just did those things and now theyre in long term relationships and is soo natural for them to just lean on their boyfriends and speak in “we”, “us”, “ours”, picking up random facetime and chatting about the mundane things.....and i really really want that my heart hurts!! i wish i could one day be that open with my feelings and have it reciprocated..

and i think thats it. i didn’t put in the hours to learning how to be with someone and now im solidifying being alone*. like im used to my company and year after year im just learning to be ok with just lil ol me, and its just exhausting trying to anticipate things happening and knowing that i pretty much have to support myself in all capacity of life (figure out how to weather politicians that pride themselves in taking away my rights). i have a responsibility for my family too and i have to factor that in as well. but my god, i fucken wish i could just be normal and be like a lot of girls i know (basically my age or belowww!!!!!!!) who can just settle down w their person and know there is some sort of support and have that companion that they can depend on as they grow through the life stages. and most of them seem liek they actively love their persons too (wtf???)

anywho not feeling great this week. lots of emotions and everything feels like a trigger to me. i feel like an absolute CHILDDD.

:\

-

*yes i should know my triggers and what to avoid. yes i shouldn’t compare my life to others because mine circumstances are different..but my god i feel like such a stupid slow loser

*everyone at work keeps saying “how young i am” now that im going to SF but these people are also like i met my husbands at 25. yyeah okkk. doesnt help when so many people you know are just settled and live with their partners. honestly, meeting ppl might not be good for me anymore. and by meeting people i mean most of the girlies i’ve met through SAT and we recently had a happy hour w a bunch of them and theyre all just in relationships and thats all they talk about. is just how they can quit their jobs and have their partner supporrt them or how much more money they make than them and tho they are grateful they have that safety net or just having ur default travel buddy, doing shit together, and again “us”/”we”/etcetc. oh god maybe i gotta stop hanging out with these people..,until i sort out my fucked up brain.............i gotta get a therapist holy shit

#amandathoughts

[sunnitheconstruct]

Spiritual rant

For my birthday tarot card i got the magician, S tattoo on my face (meaning of self/savior) & a scorpion & i asked for a wish; i want to be forever connected to the deeper core part of my being; scorpion = depths, ‘S’ (Sunni my name). 🕯— i married myself as well; i now try to embody feminine ‘empress’ energy. Im working with rose quartz & rhodochrosite the most for my healing atm. I am on a journey of self love

Anyways,

Beginning of the year i was heavy in my future energy. (I manifest & read the year’s of my life) my 3 staple tarot cards were HIGH P, EMPRESS, QUEEN WANDS; 2022 year of me knowing who i am, my worth & value. & What i deserve. I read that for a future i knew existed bc i created in in my mind & for double effect i programmed myself to actually believe in. I am on a peaceful journey———-got sidetracked, im high—————so my profection year is in SAG; my reality is world energy. This is a double year for me of blessing + the wheel of fortune. I am in good karma. Sag is sign of abundance 8888 i did heavy finfnacial magic this year. *breaking generational curses* . So in the beginning of the year my 1st program to work was queen wands & i was feeling HORNY & SEXY. I ordered a big piece of carnelian & (i was feeling hottttttttttttttt like fire by Aaliyah specifically) so i was looking for a fwb & apps, i ain’t do nothing just wanted no strings. I’m not that type of person. I’ve done it before but not enough to feel ashamed about myself. Anyway, that fell through & i said fuck it my sexual energy is powerful MIND YOU; you create from the sacral! Sacral is manifestion energy & i am a magcican) so i refocused my energy on creating my reality i want so i can timeline jump. I meet this guy as my job, SAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG BITCH & me, i can’t stand sag men. Too goofy, dumb & annoying. Class cown that gets in my nerves. So anyway, he has a wife who is deceased MIND YOUYUUUUUYYYUUYU: earlier in the year i asked god to prepare me for marriage (girl i won’t talk about it. I’m not ready) & the guy says ‘marriage was fun. She was my bestfriend’ nigga tell me why he has got me realizing it’s so much better to be friends before lovers & im starting to understand: *to clarify. I have a ARIES MOON VENUS IN 8 TH HOUSE BOTH TRINING PLUTO. I am the tower card. Plus i have Pisces moon/venus in sidereal. I love using that energy.) relationships for me are usually started by me. Fast, hot; heavy. I want it now & ima tell you how fast, how slow, how deep, i want it. But i rush bc i want it now. Aries. So i usually, charm them, no fucking obviously. (‘Before i let you hit this pussy bet you fall in love with my charisma!’ From the wise words of the president- Megan thee stallion) but then i get bored or turned off when i see they can’t match up to me; imagine the boredom of a child = when i see a man doesn’t read. Basically). My mindset is shifting to friends before lovers. A lesson I’m learning is patience anyway. Saturn energy is around me heavy rn & i call him papa*

I need a friend rn bc I’m loving myself & can only give me my time, energy & attetion right now. My Romantic & emotional cup is on me. I am on a self love journey but through that he can be my genuine friend & see me loving myself. It’s a genuine friendship bc I’m loving me & i wanna be single. & it’s crazy how me focusing on me is aligning with the sag as well; he’s obviously DL. Really not my man & don’t care bc i am NOT looking for a relationship & he says, me too. I just want a friend & i said i just want a friend. We connected in such a intimate way; 6 cups energy. FRIENDS & sag energy x 2; he is changing my world view on love & relationships & timing of lives

That’s all i think

[beaniebabs]

so anyway we were all bullied by our own (adult) family for showing ND traits right? obviously we were bullied in school bc 1. kids are cruel and 2. parents can teach their kids to be ableist but. yeah. it’s definitely something else when it’s grown ass adults mocking you for things they should know better than to mock a fuckin child for. plus they should have some semblance of knowledge of, y’know. mental illnesses and disorders and shit. do y’all have any stories?

#ig my parents were throwing away/recycling an old softball bat of mine? #and it brought back memories of stories they’d tell me #i was too young to remember stuff myself or just my brain forgot the rest of it #but my mom would always tell me about how “dramatic” i was when i did sports #like when i played tee ball in kindergarten(?) #i apparently would always complain about my uniform being itchy and uncomfortable #and at one point i took it off when i was in the little. room. where we kept the equipment and stuff #and that was a “funny story” when in hindsight i was 1. being a kid and 2. very clearly having sensory issues #also those times when i was having breakdowns/meltdowns #once. i remember this clearly by myself and also bc of being made fun of it for years #my mom recorded me sobbing and having a breakdown in the kitchen while she laughed and mocked and made fun of me behind the camera #and the other. i couldn’t fold towels perfectly and i had a breakdown in the bathroom and she brought it up for years as if it was a #character flaw on my end and not. mental illness/neurodivergence #yeah. that’s all i remember off the top of my head but i knwo for a fact there’s been more #why do grown ass adults feel the need to traumatize children? #also i just remembered my parents used to horrendously make fun of my aunt(?) with down syndrome behind her back and they fucking recruited #child-me to do it too and i’m. fucking ashamed of myself but god #yeah this is mostly just me remembering they’re horrible people i shouldn’t try to have relationships with anymore so thank god for that #but yeah (:

[tendous-whore]

do you think of me too?

(Naoya Zen’in x reader, ft. Toji Fushiguro)

summary: when naoya leaves you for another woman, he doesn’t realize until it’s too late that everything he desired, had always been in his reach. so when you’ve finally remarried, why does he silently wish that it wasn’t him, but naoya instead?

warnings: fluff, angst, ex!naoya, possessive, sexism, pregnancy, lil suggestive (if ya squint), abuse

notes: I have so many drafts of naoya x reader so if I have miraculously posted this, I finally picked one to finally finish. yuh. also I’m just winging all my jjk fics at this point too lol. also this is just a toji brainrot literally cannot stop thinking of him one upping naoya and just,, being better as a man hehe also this ones kinda looooooooong

Part 2 -> home is with you :D

“I will not repeat myself again."

With narrowed eyes, Naoya silently watched the way your eyes fell back to the ground, your head dropping into a low bow, and slowly retreating back into the hall and out of sight. But before you would leave, and for good, he heard as your faint voice called out from the short distance, before you would finally hide your face and disappear like he said to.

"Forgive me."

Your hair had fallen out from its neat bun, pieces of hair stuck out and disheveled at odd angles, some stuck to your forehead with sweat. You held onto your bottom lip, holding it in place, to stifle any more sound from coming out. And your eyes, once round and bright, had become swollen and raw. Wet and dry streaks ran down your cheeks as well, a mark of your frustration and despair.

He made a face at the unpleasant sight of it all. It was unbecoming of a woman such as yourself, that it left a foul taste in his mouth. Looking at you no longer made him puff out his chest, his head held up a little higher than before. Now, looking at you only made him angry, unsatisfied, and ashamed. He only asked that his wife served him in all ways that she should for her husband, but somehow, even you managed to fail the simplest tasks.

When you were unable to conceive, when you failed to get pregnant, he had had enough. If you could not, and would not give him a son as his heir and protege, he'd simply find someone who could.

And that's exactly what he did.

A sweet, shy girl that served below the servants had caught his eye. Once he had realized that this marriage had no longer benefited him, he made his move. This woman was a catch, everything he had wanted. He didn't need to push her, to break her into a true woman, unlike you. And most of all, he didn't have to fuck her over and over to try and knock her up, when it only took him once.

So as you cried to him, begged him not to do this, that this time, you'd finally bring him a child, your words and tears did not sway him. And when you'd finally calmed down, with no more tears to cry, did you accept it.

So as he beckoned the shy woman that hid behind his body to take her well-deserved place at his side, he didn't notice that you had already left, or the way you gazed at him from afar before rushing off to god knows where. It wasn't his concern, not anymore.

That was the last he had seen of you, at least he hoped.

Until now.

Nobody knew the truth of your sudden absence, but many speculated. Not that you cared, anyway, you were too tired to. Having lived as Naoya's wife withered you away to the bone, and there was nothing left for him pick at.

Nobody knew the truth of your sudden absence, but many speculated. Not that you cared, anyway, you were too tired to. Having lived as Naoya's wife withered you away to the bone, and there was nothing left for him pick at.

"I don't ever want to see your face again."

When you stumbled into the night, barefoot and dressed in a silk kimono, you walked until the trees leave thickened, and the growth of wild grass and berry bushes grew far and wide. The industrial world outside hadn't touched this side of the country, not yet and you hoped it would remain this way. Wildlife was scarce, but if you sat still long enough, the birds chirped, the bees hummed, and the deer crept out from the thicket.

When you stumbled into the night, barefoot and dressed in a silk kimono, you walked until the trees leave thickened, and the growth of wild grass and berry bushes grew far and wide. The industrial world outside hadn't touched this side of the country, not yet and you hoped it would remain this way. Wildlife was scarce, but if you sat still long enough, the birds chirped, the bees hummed, and the deer crept out from the thicket.

They were curious of the woman who wept beneath the konara tree.

Leaving behind the life you clung so dearly to, was no longer a nightmare you prayed to wake up from, but a breath of fresh air, and peace of mind you hadn't known you needed. You couldn't remember the last time you'd spoke above a whisper, or if you ever wore your hair in anything but in a tight bun. Now, sometimes you smiled, sang, and danced with the trees when the wind forced its branches to bend, kicking at the loose dirt and dipping your hands in the stream of the river as fish swam in a frenzy.

Having disconnected from the rest of the world. From him.

It was healing.

And it gave you hope.

But everything eventually had to come to end.

When you had woken to an unfamiliar face peering down at you, you thought how odd it all was. You should have shouted, thrashed your arms and push yourself away from his lingering gaze and run in the opposite direction. But you didn't. The two of you stared at one another, with nothing by the cool air whistling and the sound of rustling leaves.

And when his hand reached forward, did you move away, shying from his touch, tucking your face into the sleeve of your worn kimono and shutting your eyes. It was reflex, natural to be startled and you half expected to feel the cool palm prick your skin, pulling you back.

But you didn't.

"What's a pretty lady doing out here all alone." He asked. His voice was deep, vibrating against his chest, that you could have sworn that you felt it too.

You didn't breathe a word. Not when the tips of his fingers quietly coaxed you to look at him, the pads of his hands worn, calloused, and rough as they beckoned you to turn towards him. He didn't pull you, grab and manhandle you to look at him, not like Naoya.

When your eyes lifted from the forest floor, did you notice his eyes. Green, like the leaves and surrounding moss and floral around the two of you. His gaze was fierce and piercing as he studied your face, but there was something else in them, something that drew you in.

"I'm lost."

And truthfully, you were. And he smiled.

"So am I."

He breathed. His shoulders slumped, a look of somber washing over him before he was up and standing. He didn't hesitate a second before offering a hand, a finger curling towards him, telling you to take it. And ever so slowly, with a shaking hand, you allowed him to grasp your palm, pulling your body off the ground. The quick motion had you stumbling over your feet and right into his chest, but his arms caught you.

"I got you." He whispered.

And for just a moment, you could hear the thundering rhythm of his heart and steady breath as the warmth from his body spread to yours. It was foreign, something you'd forgotten what had felt like for far too long. His arms held your body up, his hands clasped at your back, holding you in place, holding you not as a toy or possession, but in a way that had you feeling grounded, secure, and safe.

It was that day, the trees you'd found comfort in wisped in the wind, as if the forest itself knew, that this was your goodbye. And you knew you'd miss it, the peace of it all, but you didn't worry. This journey hadn't come to an end quite yet.

Not when he held onto you, guiding you back down the mountain.

Onto the next chapter, towards a new beginning.

"You insolent wench." He hissed.

"After all I have given you." He stalked closer.

"You have ruined everything."

It takes everything in him not to strike her down, and she knows it. Backed into the corner of the room, Naoya takes a step back and turns to leave. He doesn't look, not even a glance when he hears the quiet thump of her knees hitting the floor, and choked sobs between her gasps of breath. But in between the short wails, does she thank him, thankful for his mercy, thankful that he choked her instead of the latter.

It's pathetic.

"Father will be here shortly. Clean yourself up." He orders.

He slides the door shut behind him, massaging the sides of his temples as he made his way down the corridor and to the front of the house. He can hear not too far, the sound of distant chatter, notably his father, Naobito. But amidst the low hum of his voice, two others joined in. This has Naoya stop just before the door. He was aware that his father was going to join him for dinner, to discuss matters in regards to alliances, as well as to prod him about his soon-to-be grandson, but he wasn't made aware that it would be open to others, besides them.

What a nuisance.

Nonetheless, he walked on, fixing the sleeves of his kimono and adjusting the collar before opening his gate.

"Naoya." Naobito greets. He doesn't nod, nor acknowledge the way his son barely looks his way, not when his eyes are locked onto the couple beside him.

"Why are they here." He says. He doesn't bite his tongue, not when his enemy and past are right at his doorstep.

His father ignores Naoya as he steps in, brushing past him and making his way into his home. And so do the two figures, their bodies shuffling together side by side. Neither of them cast a glance his way, which only pisses him off even more, but this time, he holds his tongue and shuts the door behind them.

From behind, he glares at the taller, more broad figure, his eyes watchful of the way he’d lean down and whisper something into the ear beside him, earning him a soft giggle in response. It irritates the shit out of him, but all he can do is watch.

At dinner, everyone is quiet, besides the sound of chewing and small banter. Not much is said, not enough for him to care when his father asks him about the Hei. Buts it’s when Naobito clicks his tongue and nods to the woman at his side, acknowledging her presence but not ignoring the way she hid herself underneath his gaze. His father wasn’t a stupid man, nor was he a fool. He could tell that when his eyes lingered longer at her waist and looked to Naoya, that he knew. At least he had the decency to not mention it now, not while they were in front of them.

His eyes looked away, down at his plate, and then back up at the figure sat across from him. He doesn’t hide the way he stares, the way his hands clench and unclench when he looks at the man beside them, his jaw unconsciously tensing when that man meets his eye. Or the way her eyes finally look up, and stare back at him, her lips parting in a soft breath.

He sees it, the movement to shy away from his glare but somehow, you stand your ground. He can see the way you’ve fought back the urge to drop you head. It makes his chest swell, happy that you still haven’t forgotten him, that some of your mannerisms hadn’t all been washed away by his cousin. But there’s this burning itch to smack that look off your face and remind you of your place.

But he doesn’t. He can’t.

You’re not his. Not anymore.

He can hear his father ramble, not too much, but mostly about the area and something about some thing. He can’t quite remember, not when his focus is on you, his eyes trained on the bulge beneath your kimono. The way the material stretches across, a slight sheen and green floral pattern weaved into the obi that held you altogether. It's distracting, and he finds its repulsive, yet, he can't pry his eyes away.

You’re pregnant.

Very pregnant.

And Naoya was not the father.

That thought alone has him looking back at the man at your side, Toji, who held a lax arm around your waist, your flush pulled to his side and hand on top of your stomach. It’s his own way of taunting him, holding out the prize in his hand that he will never reach. Saying, to his face.

“Look at me. Look at her. Look at what you failed to do. But I didn’t. I, didn’t.”

And when dinner is over, Naoya walked them to the gate of his home. You and Toji strolled past him, barely acknowledging him except for a slight nod as you two walked along the stone path outside. His father, on the other hand, hangs back, his eyes watching you, the same as Naoya.

“She can carry.” He says.

There is an edge to his voice, something that threatens him without actually threatening him. It has Naoya glancing to the man beside, giving him a nod, followed by a huff.

“And she cannot.”

He knows he knows. And now, he doesn’t try to hide it.

“She lost it.” Naoya snaps. Not intentionally, but the pressure of it all has him on his toes and frustrated, which his father can see. He's not oblivious to his situation, in fact, he's just as frustrated. When his son had come to him with another woman, promising his father that this one would bear him a son, an heir, he permitted him to marry, again. She looked promising after all, such a shame that it had come to this.

“Perhaps it is you, who has lost it.” Naobito says, and before he can give an answer, anything, he’s walking off and away from Naoya. He stands at the gate, watching his figure, and then to yours. Underneath the trees of his estate, you admired the flowers beneath the branches. He watched the way you touched the petals ever so softly, and as he did, the emptiness within his chest became apparent when his eyes fell to the outline of your bump.

Toji caressed your belly, his hand wrapped atop of it as the other held onto your lower back. His eyes gazed down at you, softer than Naoya had ever seen before. He didn’t understand his cousin, the way a man as powerful as him could allow a woman to soothe him into a tame beast. He knew that if it weren't for your presence tonight, Naoya and Toji would have jumped on one another the moment he opened that gate. But he didn't.

He continues to watch from afar until you're drifting further and further away, arm in arm with Toji until he can no longer hear the way you laugh or see the way you smile. It's strange to see you this way, and it has him thinking if you ever smiled when you were his. When he finally returns indoors, Naoya can't help but think to himself.

Since the beginning, you struggled to accept him the moment he wed you. His wife now had successfully carried until recently. He remembers the night it happened, waking up to her scream, pulling back the sheets, and seeing the blood between her legs. A miscarriage. At the time, he couldn't fathom why. She was perfectly healthy, and so were you.

He believed that you couldn't carry, but seeing you now, has proved him wrong. You could get pregnant, and you did, only now you carried Toji Fushiguros child, not his.

Naoya can picture the fullness of your figure, swollen and glowing. There was a gentle air that followed you, your lips plumper and face softer than he remembered. Toji, too. He can't recall when he ever smiled or relaxed his face. He always wore that awful scowl. But now, he held you like a fragile lily, those rough hands that have taken more lives than he can count held onto you with a feeling Naoya didn't get. He didn't know that what he lacked, what he failed, was to nurture and love you.

It never had anything to do with your fertility. To put it simply, you couldn't and wouldn't carry Naoya's child. But for Toji, you did. And he saw that, he understood.

That, that is where he had lost you.

Because he never had you to begin with.

#jujustu kaisen #jujustu kaisen x reader #jjk #naoya #zenin naoya #jjk naoya #jujutsu kaisen naoya #naoya zenin #naoya x reader #toji #toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #jjk toji #jujustu kaisen toji #toji x reader #jjk angst #jjk fluff

[savorysatori]

— 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄, 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘. ✗

“choke me, spank me, look at me, thank me.”

— sypnosis: working as a maid in a new house is very exciting, you get the money and everything goes well. although, once you’re introduced to the son of the parents, everything goes down hill.

cw, warning: size kink (?), creep!ushi, pictures without consent, nipple play, gn!reader, non-con, somnophilia, sloppy sex, dry humping, praise, panty stealer ushi.

% wc: 2234.

↷ a/n: y’all have no idea how long this was sitting in my drafts, for fucking 5 weeks plsssss- anyways I hope you all enjoy! this was rlly fun to do. also! shoutout to daisy, this collab was really cool! congratulations on 1K bb. <//3

— @daisy-bakugo, PORNSCAPE EVENT! ilyy.

You were everything he wanted, everything he fantasized about.

[1,000.]

That’s how much they were paying.

It was enough to have you accept the job immediately. It was enough to have you choose between two of the slightly revealing maid dresses and enough for you to be standing in front of the wakatoshi mansion. Briefcase in hand with a bucket of supplies you were instructed to bring. Everything was just right, you were prepared to clean, everything would go well.

The frilly material of the skirt swayed around your thighs and glided against the softness of your thigh-highs. Glistening jewels of your gold bracelets glimmering in the hot sun shining down on your skin. The thin line of thread held up the damp clothes, shredding any of the excess water soaked into them. All of the Wakatoshi’s clothing were fancy. Gold lining stitched in the middle or at the end of the cloth, it was clear they were wealthy. But, it somehow amazed you when your eyes glided to the very end of the line — some shirts & shorts were childlike. Pictures of guns and cars were painted onto a black shirt, it looked like something a 5th grader would do. ‘Maybe they had a child?’ You didn’t know, you only met the parents. Folding up the dry ones, you’d stuff them into the cart and push them towards the other line of clothes swishing in the breezy wind.

You finished doing the daily chores, slipping into their kitchen that was designed well with a beautiful interior. Cold marble was felt up against your skin as you tipped the bottle of wine into your glass, clacking against it. Your glossy lips propped up against the cup and took small sips of the fruity flavor. It slid down your throat and surged a zing of bitterness back up to take in the taste, so sweet and yet so unpleasant at the same time. You’d lick the juice off your lips and place it down steadily on the counter, looking up to see a heady gaze sharped on you.

6’2 and steady build towering over you with dark olive hair — was the wakatoshi’s son. Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Your body stayed still, unmoving. He wasn’t anywhere near a 3rd grader - more like a full grown adult. Tongue peeking out from your teeth to lick the dryness seeping between the cracks, your eyelids hooded.

“Uh- Hello! You must the wakatoshi’s son, I’m the new maid.” Extending your hand out to meet his; his hand stayed at his side, not seeming to shift to engulf yours. You’d drop it back beside you and nipped at your lip when the silence between you both continued.

“Well, I’ll see you around. Nice to meet you.. Ushijima! Your parents told me about you.”

You’d excuse yourself away from his intimidating gaze and close the door behind you. Maybe it’s a good idea to introduce myself another time.

The same look from before followed you out of the kitchen, watching you as you’d take up the laundry basket. His eyes kept gawking at your every move. Staring with every bit of emotion nobody could decipher, Toshi wasn’t a very talkative man and it was visible. He situated himself in the shadows and looked from above, staying out of any scandals his parents were exposed to. He did keep his eye on you. Stepping out of his secure area and making every note to try and approach you without seeming like a creep. His creep intentions did creep up back into his system when you started staying at his house, sleeping in a guest room 8 feet away from his room. It was easy; so easy to sneak into it when the moon raised in the dead of night.

Soft thuds of his feet against the carpet thankfully didn’t alert anyone, giving him the time to steal peeps at your sleeping state. Comforter pulled up. Oversized shirt to cover up the intimate parts of your body he dearly wanted to explore. Soft breaths left your pink lips to breathe it in again, his cock stirring at the sound of it. Toshi knew what was right from wrong, he knew that doing something like this would cost his life — but, dear god you were everything he dreamed of. He couldn’t stop now.

His calloused hands raised the shirt for him to be able to see your tummy, sliding his fingers down to the waistband of your panties. They were so simple and adorned your skin beautifully, keeping the heat between your legs warm just for him. His free hand unzipped his jeans and let them pool at his ankles, such as his boxers. You stirred slightly at the foreign touch, brows creasing forward. He stilled until you relaxed back into slumber, his fingers separated your thighs, and slowly slid the oozing head of his cock between them.

“Ah, princess, f-fuuck.” breath ragged, eyes shut closed to take in the bliss. Contentment streamed through him, his hips rocking against you to feel more, more of you. He was greedy. Toshi was insatiable, he wanted everything of you. He didn’t just want — he needed you. It was a plea. A whine for you, a need. The selfishness ran through his family, that’s how he inherited it. From his family. Was he ashamed? No. Not when you felt so good right now, not when he was about to reach the orgasm he was climbing to.

Sweat fanned down his toned chest, abs glistening with droplets of precipitation. His hips rocked forward one last time, cum spurting from his head and between the soft flesh of your thighs. It was sticky and slimy, rolling down to cover every little spot.

The sight of you sleeping soundly while his cum leaked from between your thighs, made the flaccid touch of his cock stir. You were just so pretty, a pretty little something he wanted to scoop up for himself. And he would do it with no trouble whatsoever. His hand slid down to grab his phone from the floor, lying face down. Toshi aimed right in the frame, snapping a picture for later. He stuffed it into the back pocket of his jeans and scurried away from your room, not bothering to clean up the mess of his dry cum smeared on you.

Pressing the ‘start’ button you watched the clothes in the machine swirl with bubbles of soap clouding over them. One hand on the machine and knocking it occasionally to make it turn on again. “Barely working.” You’d mutter.

Despite the Wakatoshi’s being filthy rich, their laundry room wasn’t at all cooperative. There were brown pieces of wood peeling off the wall with stains of what seemed to look like dry substance splattered on it. A bunch of plastic bags and socks were pushed to the corner of the room, dirty ones to be exact. Not much laid in the room other than the things you had listed — except for the posters of lewd manga hanging from the cluttered shelves.

The cool air of the basement door opening brushed up against you, your eyes drifting to see who it was. Standing there was Toshi. He was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. His expression was the same as always, stern and uninterested. You were both met with the silence from yesterday, uneasiness creeping up back to you.

Bothering not to talk, you turned back to the machine to see it at twenty-one minutes. It was almost done and you could leave to wrench away from the awkward silence you were sitting in. You could still feel his presence, you knew he was there and it was uncomfortable. So many questions were left unanswered in your head, you couldn’t understand them.

The back of your skirt was flipped up to meet your back, his clothed length pressed against you. He was hard. There was no doubt he wasn’t big, and that was what made your eye sockets almost swell out. He slowly rocked the fabric of your panties along with his bulge. Fingernails digging into your hip and pushing you up more to gain more access and spread your legs.

“Ushijima-“ words of confusion scrabbled out from your mouth quickly, “w-what are you doing?”

“Shh.” He jabbed the curve of your back and made you lay pressed against the cold exterior of the rattling washing machine. His words flustered you, it provoked you to stay quiet. You had never heard his voice before and a situation like this only shook your brain into a deeper hole of complication. “J-Just — let me do this, let me try it out. Once.”

And you did. You let him try it just once, you let him delude into the fantasy he had been dreaming of. You let him do it. Once.

You calmed down from the aftershock of his tongue sending you to see stars, arms jerking when the feeling of his hot touch pressing your face against the door of the machine. Your fingers tightening around the handle and pulling on it slightly, cheeks swelling up with heat. The sounds of your whimpers and tiny jolts sent him to push along more, arm encircling around your stomach, his voice breathy against the shell of your ear. You were like a succubus, a being he couldn’t leave nor escape, so alluring, sweet and he had just met you not too long ago.

The smack of his cock meeting his stomach caused you to crank your head back, looking over to see a beautiful sight. Ushijima’s cock was thick, curving gently upwards. The skin was a light shade of cream, and the head was large, pink, expanding tip. “Ushi-“ your voice was wavery, unsure paring with it.

He’d shush you again, angling your leg up as his lips pressed a kiss to your glistening cunt. Toshi took notice of your expressions when he slid into the warmth delves; brows creased together and little words scampering out from your lips. Latching onto the handle and pulling it ever so often when he hit a certain spot, whenever the tip of his cock caressed against your cervix- it was so beautiful seeing you be reduced to a quivering, blubbering mess. A surreal sight he would only see.

“You’re so damn tight. So wet, so willing.. just like that baby.” The pump of his hips made you lose yourself over and over again, a mixture of sounds that were all kinds of slobbery and slurred due to your dizziness. His pace picked up with renewed energy, slick and wet sounds fill the air, sweaty bodies clamping against each other. The whines and pants of his name being drowned out, so pathetic- clinging to the latch and crumbling under his touch. It drove him like a mad man, his brain clattering, the way you took him in with no problem amazed him, you were so inviting and supple.

“S’too b-big! Ushi- ah! -“

The whines of him being too big impaled itself into his brain, your shivering body and cunt wrapped around all together had already made him blank out, now with your pleas, it caused a switch in his head to flip and jack-hammer himself into you. Pump after pump. It made your eyelashes flutter with droplets of tears risking to stream down the fat of your cheeks. His hands holding you firmly, brows furrowed with grunts flowing into your right ear. A grunt rippled from him as his cock throbbed harshly inside you, the feeling making him come undone right there.

“Just like that, ah, fuck you make me feel so good.”

Wrinkled skirt falling to the floor, his cock pulling out of you slowly with globs of cum dribbling out of you, he’d shuffle around till you faced him fully now with a perplexed look on your face. The shirt becoming loose as Toshi’s lips wrapped around the sensitive nipple, suckling and easing any leftover moans out from your throat. His hands placing you on the machine and attaching his lips back onto your nipple, tongue flat against your sweaty skin.

“Fuck, U-Ushi! holy- fuck, just like that.” Your back straining as you leaned back, gasping and threading your fingers through his hair to balance. Toshi wasn’t one with words, his statue being quiet and still. But, words poured out from his lips at the sound of your moans, when you were so good for him.

“So, good.. pretty. pretty, like a beauty.” He pulled off of it with a squelch, standing up high and cupping your chin to stare in your love drunk eyes. “You were so good for me, yeah?”

You nodded, vision hazy and eyes occasionally blinking to peer up at him with a blurry image. Your head rested in the crook of his neck, sniffling as he picked up the soiled panties from the floor and stuffed them into his back pocket. They were red and pink, swirly designs on them, he found them so cute. He slid your legs around him and walked out of the room, leaving the washing machine to rattle in the background with soap and water overflowing onto the ground.

Ushijima just couldn’t leave you after that day, he stuck to you like glue. Who could blame him? You were everything he wanted, everything he had fantasized about.

#ushijima x reader #ushijima smut #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! smut #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #pornscape collab!!👒 #cw noncon #cw somnophilia #cw size kink

[ragingbookdragon]

I'm Only A Crack In This Castle Of Glass (Hardly Anything Else I Need To Be) PT. 5

Batfamily x Batsis Story!

Word Count: 2.5K Warnings: Explicit Language, ALL THE ANGST. AND MORE TO COME! Tags!: @itsnottilly @cloudyskylines @starflyer-104 @iwillstaywiththemforever @justine-en @weirdgirlfromtx @notsostraightweeb @candlestudy @edlothia-baby @soul-end @willieoo @willowoo @peterxwade24 @the-atlantic-french-fry @bad-bouquet-of-emotions @vvipgot7be @pure-princess-97 @atomicsoulhumanspy

Author's Note: I have nothing to say for any of the emotions y'all are about to get from this. Enjoy!-Thorne

She wasn’t sure what she expected when she sat down, but the stretching silence growing between her and her estranged family wasn’t it. She tried to look anywhere but them, not because she was ashamed—far from it. But it was more than awkward sitting across from three brothers and a father she’d not spoken to in three years, let alone tell them she was even alive.

Her eyes found Wally’s as he sat down beside her eldest brother and if looks could’ve killed, he’d been dead and buried.

“Glare at me all you want, but I’m not going to apologize,” he shrugged.

Scowling, she turned her attention to the skyline. “Fuck you,” she spat, crossing her arms.

“At least talk to them, (Y/N).”

“And why should I, Wally?” she questioned, glaring at him. “I don’t have anything to say. If I did, I wouldn’t be here in Central.”

“You’re not leaving until you talk to them,” he finalized with a firm look and she growled low in her throat and resigned herself to her fate.

Her eyes darted to her father’s and she couldn’t for the life of her decipher what was in them. “I’ll talk for an hour,” she told him. “I’m not talking about what I’ve been doing in Central City, so don’t ask. I’m not talking about the life I’ve been living, so don’t ask. You’re only allowed to ask me about my departure and that’s it. But after one hour is up, I’m leaving.”

“Who said you get to leave,” Wally questioned, and she shot him the darkest glower she could muster.

“So help me God, Wally West you’ll either take me home or you’ll fix that fucking elevator and I’ll walk myself home. Because if you don’t, I’ll tell the world who every vigilante is at this table.”

For once she managed to stump him because his eyes went wide—so did her family’s but she didn’t care—and he finally nodded.

“Alright. One hour.”

Seemingly satisfied with his answer, she turned back to her family, more specifically her father. “Why are you here? What do you want from me?”

“Maybe for you to come home, (Y/N),” Jason answered, and she glanced to him.

“Not a chance. Next?”

“(Y/N), you don’t have to be hostile. We’re not going to force you here,” Dick said, and she looked at him now, eyes narrowing.

“The manipulation tactic isn’t going to work on me, Dick. I’m not here for to be tricked into coming back. I’m never coming back.” She cocked her leg over the side of the table and reclined, biting out, “Give me your anger. I’d prefer that instead of whatever this pitiful bullshit you’ve got going on.”

In the eighteen years they’d known their sister they’d never heard her say such a callous thing, but her words had practically slapped Dick across the face because hurt etched onto his expression, then immediately turned into anger.

“You want my anger? Fine.” He stood and pointed at her. “What the hell is wrong with you! Why would just up and disappear like you did! Do you have any idea how scared we were for you! How distraught!”

(Y/N) blinked at him. “Knowing how you like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders because you can’t help but be a hero? Probably a lot.” She made a dramatic show of looking at her watch. “You’ve got forty minutes. Keep it up.”

Her eyes shifted to Bruce’s. “Did you let them read the letter? Or did you just throw it away after you read it?”

Dick, Jason, and Tim all turned to Bruce at that.

“Letter?” Tim repeated. “What letter?”

(Y/N)’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape and then she smiled knowingly. “Oh, you never showed them the letter, did you?” She looked to her brothers. “I wrote dad a letter the night I left to explain why I was leaving. It’s sugarcoated bullshit but it is the truth.”

Dick’s face contorted in anger. “(Y/N) left a reason behind and you didn’t tell us about it? Three years and not a single word?”

Bruce merely stared at her as he pulled the letter out of his coat pocket. “I was going to burn it when I found her again. Talk to her before anyone else could.”

Jason snatched the letter from his hands. It had faded a bit, softened around the hard edges, like someone had opened it and read it every day for three years.

His eyes scanned the paper, and he met her gaze, voice chock-full of hurt and she had to fight tooth and nail to keep herself from externally reacting. “You left because you thought we didn’t care about you?”

Dick reached over and took the letter. With furrowed brows and a frown, he started to read aloud, and Bruce gazed at (Y/N) as the memory came back to him.

***

Mornings at the manor were unusually quiet in comparison with the evenings. Everyone was typically too tired to argue so it accounted for a peaceful breakfast of soft words and chewing. Everyone had an assigned seat and every child had learned early on not to take the seat that belonged to another brother or their sister because there would be a fight about it.

Dick and Jason sat next to each other and (Y/N) took the seat at the end of that side; Tim and Damian took the other side—oldest to youngest, just the neat and even way Bruce liked it.

It was rare for any of the boys to be awake before him or Alfred and (Y/N) was usually the first kid to the table, the boys wandering in just minutes after her. Oddly enough, that morning she hadn’t come down for breakfast—which she always came to.

Bruce looked at Alfred. “Is (Y/N) coming down?”

Alfred hummed and gently maneuvered Tim’s arm to the side to he could set down the plate. “When I went to her door, it was locked, and I received no conversation from inside.”

Jason snorted and sipped his coffee. “Probably had a long night with her friends and is still out. I know I would be.”

“How would you know?” Tim interrupted. “You died before you got to the eleventh grade.”

“You’re one to talk, dropout,” Dick countered, and Damian sighed.

“Richard, you dropped out of college. The only son of Batman who has actually completed an entire bout of schooling is me.”

The three boys turned on him with scowls and retorted, “No one asked you, pipsqueak.” Damian glared back at them.

Bruce rolled his eyes, using the side of his fork to cut into his omelet. “Let’s try not to start a free-for-all here in the breakfast room, please.” He glanced at Alfred. “She’s probably tired from all the ceremonies. Let her sleep.”

Alfred nodded. “Of course, Master Bruce. She should be well rested this evening.”

But when the evening came, Alfred still hadn’t been able to get (Y/N) to unlock her bedroom nor speak to him. He certainly wasn’t worried, but it was off for her to be so reclusive. When Bruce and the boys came back from patrol, he mentioned it to him.

“Miss (Y/N) hasn’t come out from her bedroom, Master Bruce. Nor has she said a single word all day.”

Bruce’s brows furrowed and he tugged the cowl off, rising from the seat at the Batcomputer. “I’ll go check on her,” he replied. “You deal with…” his steel eyes drifted to Dick who had Tim in a headlock and Jason who was giving Damian a noogie. “Them,” he finalized, leaving the poor butler behind.

He knocked on the door to her room and pressed his ear to it. “(Y/N)? You haven’t come out all day. Is everything alright?”

Nothing. Not even a breath.

“(Y/N), are you in there?” he asked again and when he didn’t receive a confirmation, he raised his arm, running his fingers along the doorframe until he touched a small metal piece. He pulled it down and stuck it in the door, wiggling the knob for a second before it clicked, and he opened the door.

“Sweetheart, we’ve been trying to—” Bruce went silent when he saw the kempt room. Bed neatly made, everything organized and put away. Even her clothes hamper was empty.

He blinked and walked into the room, quickly heading to the bathroom to check for her there. It was empty as well, and just as clean, leaving him stunned as he exited the bath.

Wandering over to her desk, he saw an elegant envelope sitting on top of her laptop, his name written in beautiful penmanship. He picked it up and unfolded it, pulling out the multi-page letter. He drew his eyes along the golden lines, reading her words.

Dad,

I don’t really know how to start this letter. Truth be told I’ve written at least six before this one, and even then, I’m not entirely happy with it. But if you’re reading this, I’m not here anymore. I haven’t hurt myself in anyway, you don’t need to worry about Vicki Vale or Jack Ryder reporting the discovery of my body. I mean it in a literal sense—I’m not in Gotham anymore. Neither am I ever coming back.

Don’t think this is your fault. You’re a good father, the best I could’ve been given, and my brothers are good siblings. But the truth is that I’m not fit for this family of heroes. And I never have been. My best when trying to be what all of you are, was never good enough and I’ve spent eighteen years staring at your backs, waiting for you all to realize that I’m still here, that I still matter even if I’m not like you. And I don’t want to feel like a stranger in my own home any longer.

I don’t want you to look for me. I know you will, but I wish you wouldn’t. This isn’t some spur of the moment thing I decided to do the night after graduation. If you look at my bank records, I’ve been withdrawing cash from my savings since freshman year—this is four years of planning, so please understand that I’m doing this because I don’t want to be found—ever.

I’ll leave the story for the media up for you, though I doubt that they’ll care long enough to make a deal of it. It’ll pass like winter does spring and they’ll move on to the next bigger story.

Thank you for everything dad, and good luck with Gotham—keep it safe like you always have. And I hope that one day when you think of me, you won’t feel disappointment. I’ve only ever tried to be something that when you looked down on me, you’d only be proud, and I hope one day I’ll achieve what I always dreamed about. Eighteen is young to be on your own and I’m scared. But I’ll be okay—I always have been.

So do me a favor and don’t spend too much time over this. There are plenty more younger kids that need a parent’s hand on their backs to steady them like you once did for me. Find one and fill my spot. Let them shine brighter than I ever could. Let them be the one worthy to be a Wayne—I know I never was.

-(Y/N)

Bruce barely had time to grasp the back of her chair to keep himself from falling to his knees in shock. The letter was clenched in his hand and his lungs wouldn’t take in air like he wanted them to, his heart aching with each palpitation. He looked around the room to her dresser drawers, willing the strength into his legs to moved over to it. He opened every drawer and to his astonishment, they were empty. Hurrying to the bathroom, he noticed the drawers in there were empty as well. She was really gone. And he had no idea what to do.

***

Tears were in Dick’s eyes when he finished the letter and he looked up at her. “How could you ever think we didn’t care about you, (Y/N)?”

She didn’t want to have this conversation. She didn’t want to sit there and explain every time she asked her brothers if they wanted to do something with her and they conveniently had something else to do. Didn’t want to explain every school and extracurricular performance that went unattended and left a little girl standing in front of a crowd barely managing to stave off the tears as she bowed and thanked them for coming. She didn’t want to remember all the memories that chipped away at her heart with every disappointment that occurred. All she wanted to do was leave.

(Y/N) had earlier returned to her original position, hands in her lap and she clenched her fists until her nails bit into the skin of her palms, eyes directed anywhere but Dick’s.

“I think it’s time we call this little reunion done,” she said, standing to her feet. “We’re not going to get anywhere.”

“Not if you run again,” Jason muttered, unconsciously wiping a tear from his eye.

She pointed at him, hissing, “I didn’t run the first time, Jason. I left. On my own accord.”

“You ran instead of coming to us, (Y/N),” Tim said, and she threw her hands above her head in disbelief.

“What the fuck did you want me to do! Wander down into the cave and beg at your feet for someone to pay attention to me! To at least pretend like I was a sister! I did! Every day!”

(Y/N) picked up her purse and yanked it up her arm. “Cassandra seems to be fitting in better than I did. So go and dote on her as the younger sibling. I’m not interested in the position anymore.”

“It’s not a competition,” Dick explained. “We love you just as much as we love Cass.”

She paused and gazed at him, voice laced with disappointment as she disagreed, “Then you should make sure she’s content in the manor, because if you love her with any semblance of how you loved me? It’s not at all.”

Her eyes shifted to Wally’s. “Fix the elevator. Now.”

He stayed seated for a moment, the two of them staring each other down, then he nodded wordlessly and moved to the elevator, starting it again. Her family stayed seated, and she gave them one final look before she followed Wally, silently waiting for the doors to open.

When they did, she stepped inside and turned around, hitting the button. Just before the doors closed, Wally stopped them and murmured, “You’re making a mistake.”

“My worst mistake was becoming friends with you.” (Y/N) blinked at him, then reached up and shoved his hand away from the door and as it closed, she remarked coldly, “And you can go to hell for all I care.”

#batfamily x reader #batfamily x reader imagines #batfamily x reader imagine #batfamily imagines #batfamily imagine #batfamily #batsis x batfam #batsis x batfamily imagines #batsis x batfamily imagine #batsis imagines #batsis imagine #batsis #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #dc comics #dc imagines #dc imagine #dc

[i-need-air]

Oh-- I really really -really- liked your wolf hybrid Bakugou and-- if you don't mind, can you do one on Kirishima? Just the general headcanons, if this is too bothersome then you can ignore this once again- thank you

Just general headcanons you say? Okay, I had this written 2k words in before I got this ask and now it's at... ehem, let me take a deep breath for this;

Word count: 3.5k 💀 [of HCs 💀💀💀]

Why do I keep doing this to myself aksdjkd I love Kiri so much, my god! Thanks for the ask!! 💗

[ Masterlist ]

Hybrid!AU Kirishima Eijirou HCs

× i mentioned him as a dog hybrid and we're sticking with it because it just feels right, yano? anyway!

× you found out about how the new hybrid shelter in your city helped bust a fighting ring

× which was horrifying to think about

× one of your friends explained the process to you and you were definitely interested in helping someone out

× shelters were still underfunded and didn't provide much to help the hybrids adapt to society

× so you found yourself in front of the shelter without a plan

× just a dream and a spare couch that could thankfully convert into a bed

× before you could chicken out you stormed through the doors like a mad person, catching the attention of the guards and the front desk man

× it surprised you how disinterested they were though; were they seriously the people that dismantled a whole illegal fighting ring?

× they called a sweet old lady to accompany you

× when you explained your situation her eyes sparkled, looking you up and down and nodding her head

× she took you through some hallways, showing you around the precinct, questioning you about what type of hybrid you'd want

× to which you honestly didn't know how to respond, like anyone you could help????

× it kinda pissed you off how she spoke about the hybrids like they were pets, suggesting you'd get a kitty or a bunny, since [her words] they were low maintenance

× is this really a good shelter?

× you looked around, finding prison like cells left and right, some with people that looked at you curiously, some covering from your glance

× they were locked in...

× some growling could be heard far away but the woman shook her head at you, disapproving gaze turned to the side as she took you further into the building

× another room, this time cells were bigger, a few occupied, yet covered from you, indiferent and uninterested

× a man was sitting on the edge of the bed, hands in his hair

× "Kirishima, boy, get up to greet someone"

× his red eyes snapped up, whatever he was thinking about slowly forgotten

× he blinked curiously as you hugged your frame, feeling uncomfortable, even ashamed to be there

× but a sweet smile took over his features

× "Hey! I'm Kirishima Eijirou!"

× it's really all it took for you to grow fond of him; he got up and came closer to the entrance of the cell and introduced himself in such easy-going manner you forgot about everything and anything

× he calmed you with his presence, even if it was very disheveled, with old ripped clothes and hair messy, painted red with obvious dark roots showing

× he had a black fluffy tail waving slowly behind him too

× you introduce yourself with his encouragement and mumbled how you wanted to help someone out today

× he just smiled at you, taking you in

× let me tell you something about dog hybrids: they can sense emotions and intentions so Kiri would be a very good judge of character and he really, genuinely took a liking on you

× the problem is how the fuck do you say out loud that you wanted to help him out

× because you sure as hell weren't going to say you'd adopt him; he's not a child? we're talking about a grown ass man here? literally looked like 6'4ft/1.95m?????

× it was so shameful, your gut turned as you cursed society and he sensed it, expression changing, falling a little as he saw you look very out of place

× "Hey, hey, everything's gonna be fine!" he said

× he told YOU that

× instead of YOU telling HIM those words;;; you almost burst into ugly crying, forgetting about everything else, your minuscule problems or shame or whatever and just nodded at him

× "Would you like to come home with me, Kirishima?" you said, ignoring the happy clapping the old lady was doing, watching carefully how his expression, clear as water, switched from easy-going and reassuring to shocked then hopeful

× "I'd like that" he breathed out "—a lot."

× as you went out the lady was telling him it was a shame they separated his group of friends, something about being sent to different shelters, how he had to be a good boy, to behave, yada-yada and seriously;;; he was taking it so lightheartedly, as if he was so used to this behavior or even was thankful for it?

× it was starting to get annoying, specially when they gave you a collar for him, like no fucking thanks, but you'd take care of it later

× since it was very random and unplanned, you were making mental gymnastics to figure out what to get and what to do first, like clothes, food—

× journey home was pleasant as he walked close to you, asking you questions about yourself with a gentle smile on his features

× meanwhile people got out of both your ways because he was intimidating and big and large but his smile screamed sunshine

× all while he never really mentioned anything about himself

× you made a point to ask him if he was hungry, to grab a quick bite at any restaurant you could get at then go buy some clothes and necessities

× you were so casual and this guy was so shocked

× i swear, looks at you blinking stupidly then ✨beams✨

× spoiler alert; big boy was hungry

× it didn't matter honestly, just seeing him eat without a worry [even if everyone at the restaurant was wary of him but got a stink eye from you] was a relief

× since you answered his questions about you, you decided to ask some about him; you were going to be roomies soon so might as well get to know each other

× shocked again

× stops mid-bite when you ask him something and stares wide-eyed

× doesn't answer but you can see he wants to and you're confused??

× "did I—... did I say something wrong?" you'd press, scared you'd spook him away or something

× he just gulps down and looks ashamed

× casually tells you they've been told at the shelter owners don't care about them

× 🙃 say what now bby?

× he kinda starts apologizing because he understands why you wouldn't wanna know and you put your hand on his; kinda mutes him for a second

× "Kirishima, we're gonna live together and hopefully be friends in the process, right? I'd like to know about you, as much as you're willing to tell me"

× [ falls in love right then and there ]

× he's met humans before, many actually—

× even in the short weeks he's been at the shelter he's seen people come and go and none talked to him like you did

× stares with stars in his eyes and chuckles awkwardly, blush on his face

× "You're really nice, [Y/N]" he said before eagerly answering your questions; course, it leaves you confused lmfao but you brush past it

× okay! shopping next, long story short it was very hard to find hybrid clothes for his size so you pick to change human clothes and adjust them for him

× as you again mention this stuff casually he's just awestruck

× when you got home, bags in hand, you were explaining to him how you really didn't have much; you were working to get a promotion soon but for now you had a couch that could open up into a very comfy bed, which he assured you it was enough

× you were lowkey unsure if he fit it because like i mentioned, big boi is big

× he does! so that's a relief but you started considering giving him your bed; you mostly fell asleep on the couch anyway and to be fair, it was really comfortable and you mention it as he looks around

× his head snaps at you, wide eyed, yet does not talk

× so you ramble bc that's something fun to do! "I mean I went to the shelter without a plan and uh, I want you to feel as comfortable as possible and maybe the bed is a better fit and—"

× Kirishima Eijirou sees: 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕

× has never been treated like this, like he's an... equal... something he'll take months to share with you, but we're getting ahead of ourselves

× the thing is this boy will fall pretty hard pretty fast, but will definitely take time to make a move

× bc he is respectful

× so he thanks you for the offer and tells you it's probably the best place he slept in all his life

× can your heart stop breaking for him? i mean it's a good couch but it's no luxury hotel bed???

× [ we need to pause, OP made herself sad ]

× ok, so he's really helpful around the house, and he knows how to cook!

× takes no time to talk about his friends, special his best friend that cooked for everyone at the fighting ring and forced them all to help and that's how he was pretty decent at cooking himself

× wasn't the best though, but followed instructions like a boss

× he lives for your compliments

× literally his tail wiggles with no shame

× seriously;; tell him he did a good job even at the dumbest thing and—

× puffs chest

× wiggle-wiggle

× "Thanks!"

× 🥺💕💞 make him stop, he's so cute

× did i mention he has like floppy black ears? Omg his earsssssssssshnnngggggggggg

× because they move whenever he walks and they're mesmerizing

× and one day that you're observing them for science [not because your heart was like 💘pom-pom💘] you noticed his roots

× remember when your heart broke for him? hah, have some more because as you asked him, he started telling you that he was pushed into dying his hair red for the spectacle, diversity and what-not

× reassured you he grew to love it now, being part of who he is

× also gets a little bit shy when adding he wouldn't want to change the color in hopes of finding his friends someday and for him to be easily recognizable

× you bought him hair dye that same day

× WHICH! apart from gaining extra 🥺💕💞 from him, it created a nice routine between you two!!

× you offered to dye his hair and it was such a great time; he made you laugh, conversation going just as easy whenever you talked, you got to know each other a little bit more and—

× heh

× at the end, after applying all the red hair dye, you massaged his scalp gently

× guess who melts in your hands? yes, giant ass dog-man melts into a puddle under your hands and it's the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen

× I'm serious, he sighs and leans into your gloved hands with zero [0] shame, eyes closed and peaceful expression on his features apart from a small smile

× you tease him and he laughs it off, but promise him you'd give him head scratches when he was finished with the dye, washed off and hair dry

× and you better deliver

× "Don't think I forgot!" he'd say as he'd hop on his make-shift bed in the living room by your side, tail moving from side to side

× as you start playing with his locks, he falls into your lap and starts snoring

× move an inch and he opens his eyes to look at you confused

× puppy eyes questioning you if you're leaving 🥺

× yep, you fall asleep together

× you point out to yourself that those puppy eyes will be the death of you

× he's a touchy guy, okay? since he's been touchy with you from the very start you never questioned it, even read on the internet that many hybrids descended from house pets need physical affection, like hugs, pats, scratches, all the bag, so it wasn't a big deal for you

× except it was a big deal because he's been around for a month and you're already catching feelings and that's bad because you did not bring him there to fall for him but to help him start a new life and—

× oh my god, what if he thought you were one of those people from the horror stories about hybrid adoption that only wanted them for one thing—

× no, no, no, nO, NO.

× anxiety was getting to you as the guilt of catching feelings for him, plus the fact that he was financially dependant on you for the time which would've made it even worse if he found out, PLUS he comes from such a rough life, he definitely needs a break and doesn't need his first human friend in forever to be a piece of;;;

× Kiri catches on this really constant and increasing feeling of anxiety; he starts to send you worried glances but doesn't know how to proceed

× in such a soft voice he asks if you're okay, if something is on your mind

× and since you weren't sharing anything but acted as if everything was alright even when he felt you lied, Kiri started to get worried too

× why were you anxious? why weren't you talking to him about it?

× oh, god, was he a burden? because he felt like one;;; did you want him out? he felt like an extra weight for you and wanted to do something about it but maybe you got sick of him? he felt unmanly...

× the fact that he knew he cared about you as more than just a friend made him even more anxious and it didn't help that whenever he touched you he heard your breath hitch or your heart beating louder; he got his hopes up then down because

× you smelled like people; people he didn't know, people he wanted to know because he needed to know why did you smell like them? were they a treat? were they potential partners? he really did not want to ask bc Kirishima felt like it wasn't his place to know

× as tension grew in the house you decided to gift him a new phone, ready to give him some news that reached your ears

× it seems Kiri himself liked to do sports and mainly jog to keep himself active and he's started to pass by the local dog-park to play with the dogs

× imagine your surprise when a few neighbors asked you if he'd be willing to train their dogs bc he's been teaching them stuff like once a week and the dogs listened

× big time dog whisperer; he says "Sit" to one dog and all dogs in the neighborhood sit too, you get me?

× so you said it would be nice for him to have his own money; not like you didn't help him without care, but you saw his face every time you bought something for him and really felt like he needed some real independence

× he's in ✨awe✨ because you came up with clients already that were very eager for dog training sessions, which he loved??? and suggested hours, wages??????

× and you gave him this new phone to help him with it if he's interested too?

× "Well, the normal price on the internet around the area is—"

× "[Y/N]."

× "Hmm?"

× "You're really amazing, you know that, right?" he'd have his lips curled into a sweet smile

× which makes your heart go crazy and this man notices how you get flustered

× loves it

× get ready for compliments; a lot of compliments just expecting your sweet flustered reactions

× he's slow at realizing your feelings for him because he beats himself down and seems himself as less of a man but tests the waters nonetheless and a d o r e s every time you struggle to thank him for said compliments and don't know how to continue functioning

× catches on and gets his hopes up

× and so you do

× listen, this is hilarious because you're both dumb idiots and want to be respectful towards the other meanwhile he hugs you tighter and for a little bit too long, loving how you melt into him, kisses you on the cheek and sees you get all flustered, looks at you like you're the only one to ever matter until you stop talking, turning everything into a giant mess of silence until you both grin at each other???? I'm getting second-hand embarrassment, just kiss???????

× and it happened with an accidental kiss

× you greeted him as he walked through the door, excited to tell him about your promotion, rambling about the take-out you ordered while he smiled at you

× and it started to be usual for you to greet him with a kiss on the cheek, right? just what normal roomies do, you know [mhmm~]

× he's taking his shoes off and knows the kiss is coming, but just before you press it on his cheek you whisper/squeal "I got the promotion!" to which he turns his head in surprise at you making your lips press together by accident [mhhhmmmmm~~~]

× cue both of you apologizing, looking like a mess

× he's blushing

× you both loved it

× why are you standing so close to each other?

× why did he lick his lips in daze while staring at yours?

× which one of you was leaning in for another kiss?

× it didn't really matter because he's kissing you slowly, taking you into his arms like you were made of porcelain

× glues his body to yours and breathes you in, lips locked, neither believing it was real

× lifts you up in his arms with no difficulty and smiles, both inches separated from another; "Congratulations..." his breath would fan over your face;;;;

× yeah, okay, he takes no time to confess, resulting in a mess of manly words skdjekldj you guys talked that whole night while cuddling and stealing kisses, you on his lap

× [ his nose brushing your neck; he loves your scent omg ]

× it becomes official pretty much instantly and then all your worries wash away

× all the anxiety, all the stress and overthinking, they've all been sorted out in one night and trust me, afterwards this man is pure honesty and loyalty

× he won't hesitate to talk to you about anything and will be such a patient sweetheart with you, listening to every word you say without judgment

× loves cheesy stuff? as in the most cliché stuff seen in movies? that's his shit right there; whenever you two see each other after some time apart [sometimes 5 minutes apart] he'd pick you in his arms and spin you around, then expect you to kiss him

× if you don't, i will skfjdkfk step aside 👀

× skin contact; please, touch him

× if you're not he sends you those famous puppy eyes and we all know they're killer

× sighs, happy to hold you tight against him, engulfing you into his big frame; yeah, you're where you belong, in his arms.

× everyone in the neighborhood loves him; it's ridiculous, seriously, because you find out he helped around all the time when you were at work and gained everyone's love

× makes an instagram account to teach people how to train their dog and becomes an internet sensation, a small celebrity

× also bc he's hot and sometimes posts working out pics

× skdksjs imagine this: makes dinner for both of you, lits up some candles, goes all in, then fucking posts it on ig saying "waiting for my baby to come home #surprise" forgetting you can see it lmfao

× you see the story on your way home and 🥺💞 "ye i love his oblivious ass"

× soft gasps when you tell him after dinner

× has the audacity to be surprised, like babe????

× Kaminari finds him through social media and this baby cries in relief for a good half an hour

× both team up to find all the gang

× guess who talks praises about you all the time? mhm, this guy right here is proud to have you

× and Denki has to deal with it;

× anywho! want to break him for good? tell him you love him for the first time

× GETS. SO. EXCITED. AND. EMOTIONAL.

× but forgets how to speak

× finds his words to say it back after staring at you entranced, grinning like an idiot, taking you in his arms and giving you a bone crushing hug while shaking in place

× he's never felt this loved and adores every second of it

× you're like a drug and he's deep gone, man

× tells you he loves you every single day

#kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima x reader #boku no hero academia #bnha #mha #noire writes #hybrid!au #hybrid!kirishima #kirishima headcanons #does anyone remember kirishima saying pompom? cuz it's been on my mind for hours and i love it

[tintinwrites]

how could we be wrong? | Priest!Max Phillips x Reader

A/N: Thank you for doing business with the religious trauma hotline, my name’s Caitlin. I’m just calling to confirm your order of a priest kink.

Rating: 18+

Warning: Fem!Reader. Max is a priest. Unprotected P in V sex, in a church, over a pew, while another priest and a parishioner are in the confessional booth. Oral (F receiving). Religious things. Naughty words. A bit of corruption kink. There are so many sins in this that I can’t list them all bc idk what’s bad and what’s not now.

Word count: 4,105, apparently!!

Summary: You go to church to confess your sins, but end up only adding on some more things you’ll need to confess.

GIF credit: thewaythisis

Tags: Love y’all but I cannot CANNOT force my taglist to have a priest kink thrust upon them like this.

                                               --------------------

The oak door was heavy as you pulled on the brass handle, but the opening of it led you into a warm, quiet sanctuary.

You supposed there was a metaphor in there; you were out in the cold with a heavy weight, but just beyond that weight was warmth and salvation and peace.

Every pew was empty, bibles and hymnals tucked neatly in the compartments on the back as they waited for mass or for passersby who needed to pray. There were candles lit at the front of the sanctuary despite the lights on overhead, and you inwardly berated yourself for not knowing why they were lit.

You intended to go to the confessional booth to your right, but you paused halfway to it when you saw that there was another person in the sanctuary. They were facing away from you, dressed in all black, but they didn’t have snowy white hair like the priest who you’d seen the times you visited before.

Glancing at the confessional, you decided instead to approach the man.

Perhaps you just hadn’t seen him before and if he was the only priest in the building, going into an empty confessional would be a little silly.

“Father?” you asked cautiously, and the man immediately whipped around to show a face much younger than you were used to, his gaze quickly flickering over you.

“—yes, my...child?” The name was said hesitantly with a slight grimace and you wondered if you interrupted him.

“I’m sorry. I can come back later.” You turned to go, but a hand wrapped around your arm to pull you back.

“No, stay, I was just cleaning.” He held up the dust buster in his free hand, releasing you so he could put it on the altar table. “What do you need? I’m yours.”

He said that simple statement so smoothly as he turned to face you that it made your heart pick up speed just a bit, blinking at him for a moment. “Well, I...came to confess, but I’m not exactly anonymous anymore…”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, slugger!” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders before you could protest, leading you to a pew and sitting down with you, his legs open wide as he relaxed into the wooden seat. “So, come on, what’s the secret, huh? What’d you come to confess?”

“I...I don’t know.” You knew what you came to confess, but you were taken aback by his behavior and how quickly he moved, and mostly just embarrassed to admit such things to a handsome man like him.

���Are you one of those freaks who just came to confess just in case?”

“What? That’s...no.” You were definitely surprised by a man of God talking about the parishioners who came to confess like that. “I just don’t know if I should confess these things outside of the confessional.”

He made a face and waved his hand as if to say it was no big deal. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

There was something charming about how carefree and flippant the man was, but you still hesitated for a second. “I don’t even know who you are, Father.”

“Max Phillips. I just started training here.”

Well, that explained his lack of the professionalism and seriousness you were used to. You opened your mouth to confess since he was a priest or would soon be one, but you shook your head and looked down shyly. “I don’t know…”

A finger under your chin gently nudged your head up until you were looking into Max’s eyes, your heart picking up speed again. “You’re safe with me. Go ahead.”

There was just something about him that made you feel all warm inside, and you nodded for so long it was almost stupid before you remembered that you were supposed to be confessing.

“I’ve been having a lot of impure thoughts lately. It just seems like everything is driving me crazy and then I…” You faltered as the real thing you wanted to confess to danced on the tip of your tongue.

Max had been looking at the way your dress hugged your tits as he listened, raising his eyes to your face when you stopped. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re very young to be a priest.” You started to turn away because talking about something like this to a man who looked like that was not stopping your thoughts from heading in the direction they tended to lately. “And you’re different. Shouldn’t we be in the confessional?”

“Hey, listen, how about we...make a deal? You confess, and I can tell you how I ended up here.” He just really wanted to know what had you so ashamed like this, what could possibly make you squirm like you were right then.

You considered it for a second before nodding, taking a deep breath. “I’ve been masturbating. I start thinking, and then I start feeling these sensations, and before I know it, I’m touching myself.”

He nodded along in understanding like the thought of you touching yourself didn’t make his pants a little tighter. “I see.”

“I know it’s wrong.” You dropped your head into your hands, but were only able to wallow for a few seconds. The priest grabbed onto your hands and grasped them in his supportively, making you look up at him.

“You wanna hear why I became a priest?” He smiled at your slight nod. “I was always a little bit of a...troublemaker. But I guess the last time was just the straw that broke the camel’s back for my parents…”

“What did you do?” you asked with concern; the way he sighed made it seem like he did something terrible, like hurt someone or do some kind of dangerous drug.

“See, there was this girl I liked. I invited her over to my house.” He knew exactly what he was doing with this story, noting every little hint of your untapped desire in the way you leaned closer and your blinking slowed. “When my parents walked in to find me with my head under her skirt, slowly thrusting my tongue in and out of her, I guess it was too much.”

His words dripped with sensuality and you would have fallen right off the pew were it not for your grip tightening on his hands. He was so beautiful. You pressed your thighs together and just stared at him, your lips parting slightly like you wanted to say something or maybe even kiss him.

But then he leaned back and shrugged, going right back to his previous nonchalance. “So they sent me to seminary a few years ago and I was just accepted by this church.”

“Oh.” You nodded, trying to pretend that his story hadn’t affected you that much. It seemed like he was just telling a story and your horny brain had just read too much into it.

“You know sexuality isn’t bad, right? Rubbing one out is a biological response to release a little...tension.” He released your hands to break contact with you, noticing the way you fell forward just a little as he leaned against the back of the pew.

“The bible says—”

“The bible’s been translated a billion times and taken out of context a billion more. Trust me, there’s nothing wrong with releasing a little tension.” He tilted his head, pursing his lips as he decided to push you a bit. “There’s nothing wrong with you being turned on by the idea of me putting my head under your dress right now.”

You were nodding along as you considered his words, but then your eyes nearly doubled in size at his comment. “I—I don’t—”

“Now lying is a sin.” He reached out to tap you on the nose which made you blink rapidly in confusion. “Look at how tense you are. You’ve been denying yourself, haven’t you?”

“Well...I didn’t think it was right…” You were uncomfortable; not because he was upsetting you, but because you had been denying yourself and you were so turned on by his words that you wanted to do the very thing you came to confess.

“Why don’t you show me how you touch yourself?” He decided to be blunt. You seemed to enjoy it when he was.

“What? Me? Here?” Your reaction was almost comical, but his words still sent a jolt directly to your clit.

“Touch yourself. Yes, you. Right here.” He leaned forward to gently grasp your hand again, running his thumb along the back of it. “I’m a man of God. You’re safe with me if you need to release a little tension. I won’t tell a soul.”

“I…” You wet your lips, pressing your thighs even tighter together.

He kept his eyes on yours as he slowly guided your hand to the hem of your dress, pausing to see if you would stop him or protest. When you didn’t, he helped you pull the fabric up your thighs, glancing down when he saw a glimpse of bright fabric. “Blue lace, huh? I like it.”

All you did was stare into his eyes, letting him maneuver your hand underneath the practically sheer fabric. He pulled his hand out and just laid it on top of yours through the lace.

“Tell me your name.” He waited for you to stutter it out before repeating it, wrapping his lips around it sensually in a way no one ever had before. “I could moan that. Fuck, I’d like to hear you moan my name like a prayer.”

You couldn’t help yourself as your eyes fluttered shut and you began stroking over your clit, giving into the sensation that was begging you to touch yourself.

Max just kept his hand on top of yours, letting them move together, his eye flickering between your face and what you were doing between your legs. “Isn’t that better? What are you thinking about?”

“Your tongue.” You were too turned on to care, letting out a little moan when you opened your eyes and saw the way he was staring at you.

“And I didn’t even tell you the whole story!” He laughed, bringing his free hand down to playfully slap your thigh. “I bet you’d like to know what I did when my parents and their friends walked in, huh? Go ahead, ask me.”

“What did...what did you do?” You tried your best to focus on him, now letting him control the movements of your hand through your panties.

He shifted a bit so he could lean in closer to you, his eyes roaming from your face, down your neck, over your breasts, until they landed between your legs. “I fucked my tongue into her until she came all over herself in front of everyone.”

The whine you let out was exactly what he wanted and he chuckled when you tried to move your hand faster than he was allowing.

“Patience is a virtue. Do you want to feel my tongue?” He raised an eyebrow when you didn’t answer him at first, making you grind your fingers against your clit a little harder. “It’s okay to say yes.”

“Yes,” you gasped out and he smirked, pulling his hand away and taking hold of your wrist to make you stop touching yourself.

“Now, I know you learned patience. You’re such a stickler for rules, aren’t you?” He pulled your hand up to kiss your glistening fingers, letting his tongue poke out to kitten lick them every so often. “I want you to stand up for me. Take off your panties, go up and put them on the altar, then come back here. You’re gonna stand in front of me and take off your dress.”

Your chest was rising and falling slowly from your deep, steady breaths. You’d come to confess your sins, but it didn’t feel like a sin as you stood up and stepped out of your underwear.

You didn’t even realize how easily you were doing it until you’d approached the altar and set the bit of lace on it, turning around to make your way back to Max.

He was leaning back in the pew with his legs open wide, the bulge in his pants obvious when you came to practically stand between his knees.

You hesitated when your fingers came to the hem of your dress, realizing that you were going to be naked in front of this practical stranger in the middle of a church. It was both enticing and terrifying.

“Let me see. I’ve been staring at your tits since you walked in anyway.” He said it so casually it was somehow almost sexier than if he’d been flirtatious.

Hesitating for just a moment longer, you pulled your dress off before you could convince yourself not to, leaving yourself entirely bare. Max’s eyes darkened as he slowly looked over every visible inch of you.

You grew nervous when he didn’t say anything, shifting on your feet and biting your lip as you stared at the floor.

When he was still silent, you slowly looked up at him, fearing a look of disgust.

But you found him staring right at you with eyes full of lust and he slowly said, “I’d abandon the church for that.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know what to say to something like that, just letting out a shaky breath as you felt yourself grow wetter.

“Sit down. Open your legs wide.” He stood up, waiting for you to take his place on the pew before he knelt between your legs. “Has anyone ever done this before?”

“No, Father. I only had sex once, when I was a teenager...and it wasn’t really good.” Your answer seemed to please him, but he didn’t comment on it.

“Call me Max,” he said simply, then leaned forward and started running his tongue along your folds.

Just feeling his tongue between your legs had you squirming and gasping, but he wasn’t paying attention to your clit yet. He’d dip his tongue right near it before skipping over it, pressing teasing little kisses against you.

Having never been eaten out before, you didn’t think to rush him or beg him; you were oversensitized from a lack of proper touch, so this was doing a lot for you.

He decided to be nice mostly for the purpose of rocking your world, and he started to flick at your clit with the tip of his tongue.

That had your hips lifting off the pew, a cry leaving your lips as he started tracing little circles over the sensitive area. “Oh, fuck, Max…”

He took hold of your thighs to pin you back down to the seat, pressing his tongue flat against you and dragging it slowly up over your clit. The movement had your jaw dropping open in pure ecstasy and the ensuing vibrations from his soft chuckle made you release a moan.

You’d never felt anything so amazing in your entire life even when you would give in and touch yourself, and you couldn’t believe how long you’d gone without feeling something this wonderful.

“Would you use your tongue inside me? Like the girl?” Your request earned you another slap to the thigh as Max pulled away, his lips shining.

“I gotta say, you know your manners!” He grinned, keeping his eyes on you as he leaned down and slowly began fucking into you with his tongue.

You were silent at first as the new sensation took over, before you let out a whine and started breathing a little shakily. “Oh, God!”

Max mumbled a reminder of what you could call him into your cunt, thrusting his tongue a little faster and nudging his nose against your clit.

He kept going at it until he felt your walls starting to flutter around his tongue and he pulled back, smirking at the almost hurt look on your face.

“You wanna see what good sex is like?” He cupped your face when you nodded, moving to kiss you passionately.

You kissed him back eagerly and stared at him dreamily as he pulled you to your feet, letting him turn you around. He guided you to bend over with your hands gripping the back of the pew, seeing that you were steady before he pulled back to admire your ass.

He ran a hand over the soft skin, undoing his pants with the other as he kept trailing down until he was stroking through your slit. “It hurt the first time, huh?”

“Yeah, and he...released his seed after a couple thrusts then left…” You admitted this with a bit of shame, pressing your fingers into the wood.

“Came. He came after a couple thrusts.” Your gentle way of putting it made him smirk, but he let out a moan when he pressed his tip to your wet folds. “This one’s not gonna hurt and you can bet your sweet ass that you’re gonna come first.”

“He came,” you repeated, eyes fluttering shut with a moan at the feeling of him starting to push into you; there was some pressure, but he was right about it not hurting like the other time.

“God, you’re tight…” He practically growled, going slow so you could adjust to the way he was stretching you open.

You folded your arms on the back of the pew and laid your head on them, breathing deeply as he pushed himself inside you as far as he could. He moved one hand to your right hip and the other stroked up your back.

“How’s that?” Your answer was a pitiful, little groan so he thrust his hips a little. “Come on. Use your words.”

“Good, but I feel like I want you to move…” It was so nice to feel full and you wanted friction to go with it.

“Then get back up.”

You forced yourself back up onto your hands and turned your head to look at him over your shoulder.

He raised an eyebrow, watching your eyes darken as he pulled out before quickly thrusting back into you. It was hard enough that you let out a yelp and were rocked forward a bit, having to tighten your grip on the pew so you didn’t face plant on it.

“Oh, God!” You cried, arching back into him.

“Okay, fine, you can call me that and Max.” He rolled his eyes playfully as he found a steady pace against you, loving the way you practically bounced with each thrust.

You were too gone to even acknowledge what he said, and he really didn’t mind since that meant he was turning you on. He slid a hand underneath you so he could rub at your clit, angling his thrusts to stroke over your G spot.

He was trying to keep it together, but you were sexy, and so wet, and so fucking into it that he couldn’t help the noises you were pulling out of him; every whine, every moan, was worth being able to fuck into your tight, wet pussy in the middle of the fucking church.

He could feel your walls fluttering around his cock already since you were so wound up in general and worked up from his mouth, and like hell he was gonna deny you this time.

The thought of you squeezing down on his cock encouraged him to move faster, the sound of his hips slapping into your ass echoing through the sanctuary.

“Max! I’m—I’m—” Your orgasm was too powerful for you to even warn him about, only able to let out a cry as you clenched tight around him.

“Holy shit.” He hissed at the way your cunt gripped him like a fucking vice, the way he felt you squirt all over yourself and his dick.

He could feel it dripping down your thighs and his, spurring him on further as he easily thrust into you.

The sound of your wet cunt filling the room was even better and he let himself get completely lost in you, grunting and whining at how good you felt.

“Oh, God. Oh, God!” Maybe he was doing that part a bit on purpose, but he had no choice but to let his hips lose their rhythm as he just focused on seeking out his orgasm. “Fuck. Tell me where to come, now.”

You didn’t answer at first as you were still coming down from your orgasm. He quickly started rubbing your sensitive clit again to grab your attention and you gasped, “Inside me, please.”

He wanted to fall to his knees and fucking worship you for that, leaning down to press a kiss between your shoulder blades before he stood up to drive into you desperately. It only took a few more thrusts before he was shoving himself into you as deeply as he could, letting out a loud, long groan as he spilled his load into you.

The two of you stayed like that for a second, both panting, both with your eyes shut tightly.

But Max still wanted to fall to his knees in worship.

He regrettably pulled out of you and moved to kneel down, holding onto your ass to keep you still as he leaned in, immediately lapping the mixture of his and your cum from your cunt.

You let out a whimper so pretty that he could’ve gotten hard again if it was possible. He just focused on cleaning you up with his tongue, licking into your cunt until he was satisfied with his work.

He enjoyed a good eyeful of your pussy and ass and decided he wanted to inspect you more in the future, moving to his feet.

“Your sins are absolved.” His words were followed by a slap to your ass before he tucked himself back into his pants.

You moaned and stood up fully, turning to see that he was holding your dress out to you. Part of you wanted to ask if that was it, craving more despite how much he’d just offered you, but you stayed silent and put your dress back on.

You walked up to the altar when he just stared at you, grabbing your panties off and moving to step into them. There was a tap on your shoulder before you could and you turned to face Max, who was now holding a collection plate and grinning mischievously.

“We’re collecting if you want to help the church. I, for one, would love to put those on my face later and jack off.”

You gaped at him for a moment before slowly smiling and laughing softly, dropping the lace into the collection plate. “I should probably go…”

He nodded, but put his free hand on the side of your face and guided you into a deep kiss, licking into your mouth with remnants of cum on his tongue. It made you moan and he was honestly fucking surprised you didn’t have your own cult of people begging to have you.

“Come back. Just ask for me.” He smirked at your dazed nod and kissed you again before slapping your ass, nudging you up the aisle.

You walked to the door with a bit of a gap between your thighs, finding that the door didn’t seem as heavy as before. You glanced at him over your shoulder before walking out and letting the oak shut behind you.

Max just smirked to himself and chuckled, both satisfied and proud. He looked to the side of the room when he heard a creak, smile not faltering in the slightest even as an older, enraged-looking priest stepped out of the confessional booth. “Hey, pops.”

“Father Phillips, this is unacceptable.” He was red in the face from anger or perhaps something else.

“Is that a crucifix in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Max’s jovial expression did twitch a little bit when the priest let out a growl, and he slowly slid back a step and took your underwear out of the collection plate. “She needed me, buddy! What was I supposed to do, let her walk around all wound up?”

“You weren’t supposed to fornicate with a parishioner in the middle of the fuck—” He immediately stopped his crass words when the other side of the confessional opened and out stepped a small, elderly woman.

Max had honestly forgotten she was in there, but raised his eyebrows in surprise when he noticed the way she was eyeing him.

It was probably the wink he sent her that took him from probably exiled to definitely exiled, based on the way the head priest cried,

“Get out!”

#max phillips x reader #max phillips imagine #max phillips fic #bloodsucking bastards imagine