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milaisreading · 10 months

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Blue lock, but make it Demon Slayer(pt1)

A.N: u all smth possessed me to wite this☠️

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Blue lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura. Demon Slayer is owned by Koyoharu Gotouge. Might do requests if anyone asks. Will add in characters gradually

Living in a village that was pretty much isolated from the rest of Japan was a struggle at times, but for the most it had its perks. At least (Y/n) thought so. She liked that her best friend and his family lived close by and that she has a tight bond with most of the villagers. But with some of the perks came also certain struggles, one of them being marriage. (Y/n) was by now 15 and a lot of girls her age were already looking into possible suitors or even getting married. And while (Y/n) was far from a ugly and plain person, she just wasn't appealing to the local boys or their families. One reason would be (Y/n)'s unusual strength, which her parents and Yoichi always praised her for, the 2nd reason was her appetite. She loved food, it was something she and her father bonded over, along with arm wrestling. Most of the families found it very unladylike and turned down any marriage idea.

'Even if you don't get married, we love you more than anything. You can stay with us here, forever. Maybe you will get a chance to visit the cities, too.' (Y/n) sighed as she looked at the darkening sky. It was winter and night fell sooner than normally, but she couldn't stay in the house anymore, she had to get out. Yawning, she put on her scarf and walked out of the house, walking closer towards the forest, when a voice interrupted her.

"Huh? Where are you going, (Y/n)? It's pretty late."

"Yoichi! I am just going to get some fresh air. But what are you doing here?" (Y/n) smiled as her friend stopped in front if her.

"My parents want to talk over something with yours."

"Is it something important?" (Y/n) raised her eyebrow at Isagi's flustered face and the boy shook his head.

"Nothing, just some random things... Do you want me to come with you? It's getting dark." Isagi asked in concern, but (Y/n) just shook her head. She really wanted to just be alone and think over some things.

"I can handle myself, don't worry. I will be back soon." The girl reassured the boy and he reluctantly agreed, although there was some heavy air looming above the home.

The walk was something (Y/n) really needed, the more she was in the quiet environment, the more her mind was at ease.

'Maybe I am just not meant for marriage. Besides, staying home and helping my parents, maybe even leave the village for a city one day won't be bad.' (Y/n) smiled, then stopped in her tracks when she saw a familiar old man struggling with some wood.

"Suzuki-sama! What are you doing out here this late?" The girl asked the old man as she ran to his side. The man was startled for a moment but gave the girl a kind smile, once he recognized her.

"Ahh, (Y/n). What are you doing out this late? It's too late for a child, demons might attack you. You know how vicious they can be."

(Y/n) wanted to roll her eyes at that part, never fully believing those tales.

'Old people tales.'

"Well, it isn't safe for you either, Suzuki-sama. Let me help you." (Y/n) said, picking up the basket with the chopped wood as the man chuckled.

"I always forget how strong you are. Kind of you to help this old man."

"It's nothing, Suzuki-sama. How is Mrs. Suzuki doing?"

"She is a little jumpy these past few days. Always talking about some ominous aura looming over the village."

"You don't believe her?" (Y/n) asked, amused a little.

"It's not that I don't believe her, she just gets too paranoid. The looming aura can be a snowstorm too." The old man chuckled.

What (Y/n) thought would be a quick trip to the Suzuki household ended up being a sleepover by the old couple. While she was protested the idea, not wanting to worry her parents, Mrs. Suzuki kept her back, saying all kinds of demons will attack her. (Y/n) wanted to say that what she was saying was nonsense, that demons aren't even real, she just couldn't. The look she was getting from the woman was breaking her heart, so she ended up agreeing.

'Mom will definitely scold me, and Yoichi will just go on how worried he was.' (Y/n) thought as she was walking through the forest, eating the sandwich the older woman packed her.

"I wonder what is on today's plan. Mrs. Isagi said she needs to clean out something. Maybe she will need help with carrying something-" (Y/n) stopped in her tracks as she smelled something... something off. Gulping, she took a better whiff of the air, her heart dropping her food as she realized it was blood. Dropping everything, she ran to where the smell came from, her heart racing when she realized it came from her own house. Gasping, (Y/n) saw the door wide open and someone laying on the ground, a poll of blood surrounding them.

"Mrs. Isagi?!" (Y/n) yelled in fear and ran to where the woman was laying.

"Dead... mom! Dad!" The girl yelled desperately as she ran into the house, only to find her dad and Yoichi's dad laying on the ground.

"Dad..." (Y/n) muttered in shock, feeling like her legs were about to give up on her.

'Who did this? It doesn't smell like a human was here! It smells so rotten.' (Y/n) took a deep breath and slowly walked through the rest of the house, hoping that her mom and Yoichi escaped whatever this attack was.

"Who did this... who did this... where are they?" Breathing heavily, (Y/n) walked into the garden, only to find Yoichi and her mom laying in their own blood. It looked like Yoichi tried to protect the older woman from the attacker, but was sadly unsuccessful. She ran to the two and checked up on her mom first. Removing Yoichi's arm from her, she tried to feel a pulse, but nothing came.

"No no no... mom... I am so sorry..." (Y/n) held back her tears and looked at Yoichi, her eyes widening when she saw a few movements from him. He was still breathing! Weakly, but still breathing!

"Yoichi... Yoichi..." She muttered and crawled towards him. Moving the boy to lie on his back, (Y/n) looked at his chest, only to find slow up and down movements.

"I can still save you. I need to bring you to our doctor!" (Y/n) gulped and put the boy on her back, slowly getting up and running into the forest again. Dread and desperation took over her whole form, realizing how far away their house from the village was.

"This is bad... I need to hurry up and bring him to the doctor... who did this?" (Y/n)'s thoughts were racing and she just wanted to bring Yoichi to a safe place.

'I can't lose him... I don't want to lose him...' She thought and started walking up a hill.

"Huh? Yoichi, are you awake?" (Y/n) asked, surprised when she felt the boy stir in her arms.

"Don't move Yoichi, I will get you to the village as fast as possible. Just relax-"

The girl got cut of as she heard the boy growl and his.

"Yoichi!-" The girl gasped as the boy started tugging on her hard enough to cause her to fall down the hill along with him.

"Thank God for the snow..." She groaned and sat up.

"Yoichi, why did you do that?" (Y/n) asked and looked at the boy, only to freeze in her spot when she looked at him. Yoichi was glaring at her, with eyes a far lighter shade of blue than they normally were. His wounds were completely gone, only leaving blood marks behind.

"Are those...fangs?!" She muttered in fear when she saw Yoichi's teeth.

'What happened?' Was the last thing she thought as Yoichi ran at her in full speed, tackling the girl to the ground. Quickly, (Y/n) put her hands on the boy's shoulders, holding him back from attacking her.

"Yoichi! Calm down! It's me, (Y/n)! Please come to your senses!" The boy stopped growling for a moment and blinked down at her.

"Please... I don't know what happened, but we can fix this." (Y/n) spoke a little more softly now, wanting to cry when she saw Yoichi's state. He looked so confused and... lost.

"I am sorry that I wasn't there to help you, but please... please calm down. I am sorry for all of this, please don't lose it." Yoichi blinked more and tears escaped his eyes, his grip on her shoulders got looser and (Y/n) sighed in relief, hoping he will turn to normal. Suddenly, Yoichi froze up in his spot and looked to his left, barring his teeth out again as a figure approached the two.

"What-" (Y/n) muttered as Yoichi grabbed her again and jumped a few meters away, growling at the newcomer.

"Who...who are you now?" (Y/n) gasped as she looked at a silver-haired man, who wore a weird black uniform and was holding a katana. The man looked at her for a moment and then at Yoichi, who tightened his grip around (Y/n).

'This is bad... the demon boy could attack her any moment if I don't act fast...' The man thought, keeping his stoic look as the girl asked him who he was, again.

"That demon... you know him?"

"Demon? No, this is my friend! I don't know what happened to him, but-"

"Idoit, your friend turned into a demon!" The man scolded as (Y/n) gulped, looking back at Yoichi.

'He couldn't... but that might explain this weird behavior...' She thought, cringing as he growled at the strange man again.

"I came here to kill him. Otherwise he might go on a killing spree in the village."

"Kill?! No, no you can't kill him! Yoichi would never hurt anyone! Please, give him a chance-"

"A demon is a demon!" The man yelled, his grip on the katana tightening.

"This isn't the Yoichi you used to know!"

"No, he is different! There is a way to turn him back into a human!" (Y/n) ripped herself out of Yoichi's hold and stood up, protecting the demon boy from the stranger.

"Please." She pleaded, walking closer the man.

'Aside from pleading I can't do much. He has a sword of all things!'

"You are being stupid. You want to risk more people's lives to get lost for him?! Demons can't become humans again." The man yelled, causing Yoichi to hiss and get up.

"Please! There has to be a way! I will find it!"

The man looked at her and then at Yoichi, sighing.

"Sorry, I can't help you. A demon will always be a demon." The man lifted up his hand and hit the girl on her neck, causing (Y/n) to fall unconscious to the ground. Yoichi gasped when he saw the girl's body hit the floor. The man looked back at him and readied his katana again.

"Sorry, boy." The man said, running to where Yoichi was. The boy sent him a glare and jumped away from the weapons,and ran to where (Y/n) was. The man was about to attack again, but stopped in his tracks when he saw Yoichi hug (Y/n) and then glared back at him.

'That boy... is he protecting her?' The man thought as he inspected Yoichi, not feeling the usual lust for blood coming out of him.

'He used up all his energy to transform into a demon and heal his wounds... yet he didn't try to eat her... is this Yoichi boy different?' The man raised his eyebrow, putting his katana away. Walking towards them, Yoichi hissed at him, but the man paid no mind and quickly knocked him out as well.

"Hmmm..." The man muttered and picked the two up, carrying them back home.

"(Y/n)...(Y/n)... wake up, please!" The girl looked in shock as her and Yoichi's moms were looking down at her. She was laying on the ground and resting her head on her mom's lap as the two women spoke up again.

"Wake up, Yoichi needs you."

"Mom... I... I don't know..."

"Yochan need you, (Y/n). Please help him." The other woman pleaded as the girl's vision turned blurry.

"Protect Yoichi, save him from that fate."

Gasping, the girl sat up from the snowy ground and frantically looked around, sighing in relief when she found Yoichi sleeping soundly next to her. She noted that he looked very normal, except for a bamboo strapped around his mouth.

"You are awake?" Turning away from Yoichi, (Y/n) looked at the man from before.

"Did you put this on him? And why are we back in my garden?" The girl asked, still a little tense.

"I had to bury your parents and couldn't leave you two alone in the forest. As for the bamboo, I put it on him because of the fangs."

Slowly nodding her head, she watched as the man sat in front of them.

"I won't hurt him, there might be something in this boy, Yoichi that makes him different from other demons." (Y/n) sighed in relief and patted the boy's head.

"You said you are willing to find a cure, right?"

"Yes! If there is a cure I am ready to do whatever I can to get it!" (Y/n) nodded her head quickly.

"Did you ever heat of Demon slayers? Or the corps?"

"No...to be honest, I didn't believe demons were real until today." (Y/n) admitted as the man nodded his head again.

"Our main job is killing demons and protecting humans from their harm. Not a lot of people know about us now, but we exist for centuries. I will make you a deal."

"What would that be?"

"You become my student and I will train you into becoming a demon slayer. You will have way more access to demons this way, and finding a cure for you friend."

(Y/n) stayed quiet for a moment, knowing that whatever she was getting into could kill her, but...

'Yoichi... I can't let him stay like this. I will save him, he was there for me my whole life.' (Y/n) thought, looking at the sleeping boy.

'I have nobody left but him...'

"Alright." She nodded her head as the man sighed, getting up from his spot on the ground.

"Travel north, across that mountain is my home. I will be waiting for you there. I have some business to attend to now." (Y/n) nodded as she got up, keeping an eye on the said mountain.

"Also, demons can die if sunlight hits them." The man warned.

"Thank you...sir?"

'I never asked for his name!' The girl thought.

"Noa...Noel Noa." He simply said before disappearing from her sight.

"So fast!" She said, amazed with the speed.

"Ngh..." looking down at Yoichi, (Y/n) watched as the boy slowly opened his eyes.

'Well... this is my new life...' The girl thought, trying to calm her ever-growing fear down.

Which breathing form would u all want Yn to have?

#bllk #blue lock anime #blue lock manga #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #isagi yoichi #alternative universe #isagi yoichi x reader #bllk bachira #reo mikage #chigiri hyoma #noel noa

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chaotic-archaeologist · 9 months

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got a question for ya regarding sex and online safety.

Background; I am an adulty adult. I have been able to and have voted in more than 3 elections. [I know you take interactions with minors seriously]. I am also ace and autistic. as a result I have never felt the urge to date and I normally don't mind having friends close by.

However, I also just moved for the 4th time since 2019 and would like to meet people.

So I downloaded Grindr. already got my first dickpic lol. I have also been chatting with a fellow who I like and would like to be friends with and I also wouldn't mind exploring my kinks with people... but I have never had to worry about safe online sexy stuff before so I don't know the basics beyond normal internet safety.

What do I do‽‽‽

Okay first, thanks for clarifying the adulty part. This is an awesome question, and here's the advice/steps that I personally follow for situations like this.

Have your first meeting in a public place. Go for coffee or ice cream or lunch or dinner or whatever. But don't meet them alone. This way, if you get uncomfortable with anything that's happening, they're much less likely to continue with that behavior after you attempt to extricate yourself.

Make sure there are no expectations. Plan not to have sex on the first date/meet up. Grindr often tends to ignore this rule since it's very hookup centric, but you're absolutely within your rights to insist on taking things as slowly as you want to.

Don't rely on the other person for transportation. If you choose to meet someone, get yourself there and plan to get yourself back. Walk, bike, drive, public transportation, unicycle, it's all good. But there's much less room for pressure if you're not depending on them for a ride home. This segues nicely into my next point:

Do not tell them where you live. At least, not right now. Plenty of people on Grindr are willing to "host" meaning you can come to their place. That's fine for them, but I err on the side of never giving anyone my address until I've had a thorough chance to assess their character and meet them a few times.

Tell someone where you will be. Let someone who cares about you know that you're going out, where you'll be, and what time you expect to return. Establish a time to check in when you're going home/if you choose to extend the meeting. There are also apps like Noonlight that can function similarly.

Be careful about what you consume. If you're going to enjoy and mind alternating substances, be very, very careful. This goes for anything from getting drinks at a bar to any and all of the recreational drugs on the market.

Be prepared for a little bit of awkwardness. Meeting someone in person is often very different than chatting online. If the conversation is awkward or halting, that's okay. Give it a little time (but also don't be afraid to trust your gut if it's telling you something is wrong).

Communicate clearly. If you have any needs—which can range from an allergy, not being able to stand for long periods of time, needing them to speak loudly so you can hear them, safety concerns—the best way to get those met is to be upfront. You don't need to disclose the reason why you need something if it makes you uncomfortable, just state what you need. People worth spending time with will respect that. The same thing goes for your wants.

Use protection. Maybe this isn't applicable for you specifically, but I think it belongs on this list. Condoms. Dental dams. Gloves. Someone on an app telling you they're negative for any number of things is not an actual guarantee they're not lying to you. Not wanting to use protection (not just for anal/vaginal intercourse, but for oral sex as well) is a huge red flag. Decide in advance what your boundaries are and stick to them.

If it sucks, hit da bricks. Fundamentally, you owe this person nothing. There is no consequence for saying "you know what, I'm not feeling this and I'm going to leave." Be as polite as you want to, but put yourself first.

At the end of the day, the only thing you have control over is you. How you react, where you meet this person, what you do—that's what you control. Hopefully any meet ups will be fun and relatively safe, but just in case, set yourself up for success by maintaining what control you can.

From one adult to another, these are all suggestions rather than rules. Many people on Grindr choose not to follow various ones, and that's fine. Take some time to think about what you're comfortable with and make your decisions accordingly.

Also, best practice for someone sending an unsolicited dick pic (if you don't want them) is just to block that person. But sending a return picture like this one is a hilarious option.

-Reid

#he speaks #sex advice #sex education #internet advice #life advice #grindr #internet etiquette #internet brother

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karizard-ao3 · 8 days

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My reactions to Evangelion episode 26: Take care of yourself

I had to go to the store after the last episode and I was a nervous wreck the whole time. I am a nervous wreck right now. My stomach is turning. I am so worried about what we're going to find out and what's going to happen.

We're focusing on the instrumentality of the heart belonging to the boy Shinji Ikari. Oh, god.

So is it going to be like a hive mind?

"If I run away, no one will talk to me again" "Don't abandon me!"

"If I pilot the Eva, I can exist as myself." Is the reason piloting the Eva was so painful at first because of how hard it is to look at oneself?

"I have nothing else."

The Eva changes and overcomes their personalities if they tie their identity too much to it. Like Asuka.

So, all this mind meld stuff is the instrumentality taking place, yes? They are all kind of slipping together into one consciousness?

Oh, Asuka with those hollow cheeks.

I can't believe this has been going on for two episodes lol. I can understand why they had to make a movie after this because I feel like I'm going to riot. I thought we were going to, like, return to the plot.

Oh, thank god.

But is this an alternate world? Since when is Asuka his childhood friend? Pen Pen is a clock?

Do they not have faces?

It's so weird to see them, especially Shinji, acting like such normal kids. But him and Asuka fighting is cute.

The art style changed from animation to sketchy stills. I guess the illusion is fading.

Ah, it was another possible world.

We're back at it. Oh, god. I was into it for the last episode when I thought it was leading up to something but at this point, I've given up and I feel like I'm having the same message hammered into my head over and over again.

Lol and then everybody stood up and clapped.

I am laughing so hard. What the fuck was that?

In Conclusion

How is that even a conclusion??? I... I need to know that something is actually going to happen in the movie.

Okay, I skimmed the Wikipedia page. That sounds more like it. I'm planning to watch it on Sunday and I guess I saw a couple spoilers? But I read it in that not paying attention way so I'm hoping they will spill from my head by then. And it was just stuff that I was either already anticipating or was not surprised by anyway, so I think it will be fine. And I think I saw Shinji survives? So I'm even more fine if that's the case.

I'm not supposed to like this ending, right? Like, I'm allowed to think this was nonsense?

I mean, I suppose it was meant to be the instrumentality proceeding as planned and succeeding but, like... It just feels like the author stood up, threw down their pen, and declared, "I am fucking tired of crafting a story with plot points and tension and character development! I want to talk about the weird things I think about in the shower!" and then proceeded to do that for an hour.

I had myself worked up into a tizzy over nothing.

I'm sorry if I was supposed to enjoy this, but, I am now super excited for the movie.

I'm sorry. Episodes 1 - 24 were great, though. 10/10 would watch again (and probably will)

#neon genesis evangelion #evangelion #first watch #shinji ikari #yui ikari #gendo ikari #misato katsuragi #asuka langley soryu #rei ayanami #ritsuko akagi #pretty much the whole cast showed up to tell Shinji they hated him over the phone

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aspoonofsugar · 6 months

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Chuya's Tainted Sorrow

Here comes a meta on my favourite bsd character:

Chuya is mostly explored in the two BSD novels Fifteen and Storm Bringer, so this post covers what happens in these books. In particular, I am going to use Chuya's song, gift and literary references to explore his story.

DARKNESS MY SORROW

Darkness My Sorrow is Chuya's character song and its title combines two different literary references:

Darkness comes from the Sheep Song, which is used to trigger Corruption:

O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again!

Sorrow comes from Upon The Tainted Sorrow, which gives its name to Chuya's ability

Let's discover what these two poems represent.

CHUYA'S DARK DISGRACE (THE SHEEP)

O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave this body of mine! I want nothing anymore but simplicity, quiet, murmurs and order. O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless. O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself, O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave, leave this body of mine! I enjoy nothing anymore but my wretched dreams. (The Sheep Song, Part II)

The Sheep is Chuya's first group, which welcomes him in as a child. Why is the organization called after this animal? There are several reasons, which tie with Chuya's relationship with his friends.

1 - Chuya is a herding dog

The Sheep's members are normal kids, but Chuya guards their territory and punishes trespassers violently. This is the behaviour of herding dogs, which are famous for their aggressiveness towards outsiders.

"Everyone's waiting for you to give this enemy a beatdown! That's the only way we Sheep can protect our turf! We've only made it this far because everyone knows they can't mess with us!" (Shirase in Fifteen)

2 - Chuya is a sheep among wolves

"Chuuya's got all that berserk firepower, but here he's like sheep getting stared down by a wolf." (Dazai in Fifteen)

Chuya's relationship with the Sheep is exploitative and toxic. The other kids use Chuya's love and wish to belong to control him. All in all, Chuya is used as a pawn for the organization's well being:

"We Sheep took you in when you had no family and nowhere to go, but you already gave us more than enough in return. That's why... it's time to rest... after dying and contributing to the Sheep one last time." (Shirase in Fifteen)

3 - Chuya is the King of the Sheep

Luois I, King of the Sheep is a children book about a sheep, who finds a crown. He puts it on and becomes King. The point of the story is that Luois I is like other sheep, but chance and a superficial attribute turn him into a royal.

Chuya sees himself in the same way:

"I'm not a King," the boy, Chuuya Nakahara, spat. "I just happen to have something no one else does: power. I'm simply fulfilling the responsibility I have." (Fifteen)

Chuya's "crown" is his gravity manipulation gift that sets him apart from others. He even calls it a "good card", so something luck gives him.

Luois I lets the crown get to his head and believes he is above others. Chuya instead really wants to be part of the flock:

Chuuya wasn't anyone special; he didn't have a skill, either. He was just a regular member of the group. He wasn't the king, he had no powers, he wasn't the center of attention - he was simply a single Sheep among the flock, chatting with his friends. (Chuya's wish in Storm Bringer)

However, his ability is so powerful that it is the Sheep kids, who forget Chuya is a teenage boy just like them:

"Chuuya's covered in wounds. I've never seen him like that. He looks just like a regular guy my age. Wait, no - he doesn't just look like one. He is my age. He's a boy just like me." (Shirase in Storm Bringer)

In short, Chuya doesn't want to be the Sheep King, but he is forced into the role by the crown of power:

"Shut up! If you think you can become king, then do it! You can have this power!" Chuuya howled, unable to take it any longer. "To hell with power! If I didn't have this skill, I'd still be with you guys...!" (Storm Bringer)

Still, gifts are metaphors of the characters' interiority. So, what does Chuya's abnormous skill symbolize? What is the real flaw that defines Chuya's relationships and gets in their way?

"Once there was this boy who could amplify the skill of anyone he touched. Super convenient. So what do you think would happen if he used it on himself instead of someone else? (...) He amplified the skill to amplify the other skill, which amplified the skill to amplify skills that amplify skills. This self-referencing continued nonstop as he endlessly amplified his own skill." (N in Storm Bringer)

Storm Bringer reveals that the origin of Chuya's gravity manipulation is the gift to make other skills more powerful. The user applies his gift on himself and makes it stronger and stronger until infinite energy is created and space warps. So, Chuya's singularity is born: a gift able to control gravity. In other words:

The original ability is to make others stronger

If the ability is used on one-self (so that the wielder can become more powerful and make others even more powerful), then a contradiction arises and a monstruous skill appears

This process is a representation of Chuya's tendency to grow stronger for others' sake. He hones his fighting skills to protect the Sheep (to make them stronger), but this turns them too dependent on him (an organizational vulnerability). What a good leader should do is instead to nurture his people, so that they can be independent and strong:

“A leader is both the head of the organization and the organization’s slave. For the survival and the profit of the organization, they gladly put themselves through any manner of filth. They develop their subordinates and place them where they best fit. And, if necessary, they use and dispose of them. For the sake of the organization, they take on any act of barbarism with glee. That is a leader. All for the organization, and for the protection of this beloved city.” (Mori in Fifteen)

This is Chuya's mistake and the reason why the Sheep disbands. Chuya falls short as a leader not because he isn't as smart as Dazai or Mori (if anything, I think he is going to be a better leader than both). Rather, he fails because he doesn't know how to depend on others:

"It's because you are our friend. Were things different with the Sheep?" They had been. That was what Chuuya's flustered expression was saying. Everyone in the Sheep depended on him. The contrary was unthinkable. (Storm Bringer)

He insists on doing everything by himself, but a leader should work with his subordinates. This is what Chuya lacks in Fifteen and what he sails up to learn.

Still, to succeed Chuya needs to face the origin of this flaw, which lies in how he perceives himself:

O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself

Chuya sees himself as inferior to others. This complex makes him willing to be used, if it means he belongs somewhere:

LONELY DARKNESS MY SORROW, once it is opened by the key I'd rather just fall than go back to being alone Staring at the destroyed cage of this self, (GRAVITY) Slowly, I sing, "Not bad at all."

This is the key stanza of Chuya's song, which reveals what Chuya's darkness really is. Loneliness. Chuya is scared of being alone, so he does his best to conform to others' wishes. For example, he dresses like those around him not to stick out.

Chuuya, age fifteen - He wears sportsy clothes, with several sheep symbols:

Chuuya, age sixteen - He wears a formal attire with much black in it. Perfect mafia-style:

However, he can't escape his interior pain, which metaphorically manifests in Corruption:

O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless.

It is not by chance that the verses, which open Chuya's gate affirm the poet's solitude. That is because deep down Corruption is just this. Chuya's isolation.

THE TAINTED SORROW (ARAHABAKI)

Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, the snowflakes fall so harsh. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, even the strong wind gusts. The Tainted Sorrow is Just like a fox’s hooded fur. The Tainted Sorrow is Covered by snowflakes and it cowers. The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets... (Upon The Tainted Sorrow)

Corruption is a state where Chuya gives up his body to Arahabaki. What is this entity? In universe, it is a singularity, a self-contradicting skill able to create infinite power. It metaphorically represents two things:

Everyone's objectification of Chuya

A part of Chuya himself

1 - Chuya's life is defined by others reducing him to a skill

-N and the Government kidnap, abuse and clone Chuya because of his self-contradicting gift. It is not the two kids (the original and the clone) they are interested in. Rather, they reduce them to their special abilities:

"Just like how we respect your will, we respect the will of your skill Arahabaki, as well. But... how should I put this? Your will is tying Arahabaki down, and as long as your will is firm, we won't be able to remove Arahabaki from you." (N in Storm Bringer)

N says it oudloud. He respects Arahabaki's will more than Chuya's. Except that Arahabaki has no will:

"Sigh... Why do you wanna see it so bad?" Chuuya said. "It doesn't have a personality or a mind of its own, so what's meeting' it gonna do for you? You gonna pray to it because it's a god? It's a god of destruction, y'know. Nothing more than a mass of energy. It's no different from a typhoon or an earthquake. Ya might as well pray to a power plant." (Fifteen)

Arahabaki is not a person, but the embodyment of Chuya's gift. And yet, it is given a name and treated as more important than the kid.

-Rimbaud literally wants to turn Chuya into a skill:

"Allow me to reintroduce myself. Rimbaud. Arthur Rimbaud. My skill is called Illuminations. Chuuya, my goal is to kill you and absorb you into my skill" (Rimbaud in Fifteen)

He doesn't want to kill Dazai because he hates murdering children. And yet, Chuya is Dazai's same age. However, Rimbaud sees him as nothing, but Arahabaki's host.

-Verlaine wants Chuya to be his clone:

"I dunno about you, but I'm human." "You aren't human. You're 2,383 lines of code." (Chuya and Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

He denies Chuya's humanity and insists he is an artificial creation. Chuya can't be the original kidnapped child, but needs to share Verlaine's origins and hate for the world. Verlaine doesn't consider his brother a person, but an extension of himself.

2- Arahabaki is Chuuya's inner beast

In psychology, the beast is a personification of one's deepest and most repressed feelings. What are Chuya's?

His control on gravity suggests two strong emotions:

a) A lack of freedom - The ability to control gravity should make one freer. And yet, Chuya is always chained:

He spends his childhood imprisoned in a lab. He is used as an attack dog by the Sheep. He is threatened to join the mafia with his friends' lives and Rimbaud's secret files. In a sense, he always serves someone. That is why Arahabaki is a servant deity.

b) A huge existential weight - He can make things lighter, but he still shoulders too much:

"Tell me, tin man," Chuuya suddenly stated, his voice devoid of all emotion. "Why did they die?" "Because of you, Chuuya." Silence. "Yeah, it is my fault." (Chuuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)

For example, Chuya blames himself for what happens with the Sheep, the Flags and later on Adam:

"What's wrong, Chuuya? Everyone's going to die at this rate. You're going to kill them. Your shortcomings are going to kill them." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

Chuya fears whoever gets close to him dies. That is why Arahabaki is a god of destruction.

Points 1 and 2 explain Chuya's loneliness. On the one hand others only see his skill (objectification). On the other hand Chuya doesn't see himself (struggle with the beast).

Arahabaki is a god whose origins are uncertain, so nobody understands it. Not even Chuya:

'In languor dreams of death' … who was the one that said it?

In the song, Chuya wonders who is the author of his own poem. This shows how disconnected he is from himself. He wears a mask of violence and bravado to hide his vulnerability. Still, this fragility emerges every time he lets Arahabaki out. Here comes the interpretative key of Chuya's character...

Arahabaki is nothing, but the Tainted Sorrow of the poem:

The tainted sorrow is a fox covered in snow, while the wind howls:

Black snow began fluttering around Chuuya. Red scar-like runes crawled across his skin. He ignored the law of physics, hovering in the sky, as he glared down at the beast on the surface. Intense heat caused by the gamma radiation filled the air. The night was scorched, and the scenery warped. (Storm Bringer)

Arahabaki-Chuya is described as a tailed-beast and the anime shows he is similar to a fox. Moreover, he is covered in black snow, while his gravity powers manifest a strong wind.

The rest of the verses convey Chuya's feelings:

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets...

Interestingly, the fox and the setting sun come up in Storm Bringer:

The video showed a golden coin. One side was engraved with a fox, the other with the moon. It was beautiful yet somewhat melancholy. (Storm Bringer)

The young Chuya repeats Upon the Tainted Sorrow while playing with a coin that has a fox and a moon on its sides.

The literary metaphor becomes clear. The Sheep Song is the key to open the Tainted Sorrow's gate. Chuya activates Corruption through verses, that state his loneliness. He says them, when he is ready to face the darkest part of himself.

WHAT IS CHUYA?

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self.

The Tainted Sorrow dreams of death, which means Chuya is suicidal.

This is why he is both drawn and repulsed by Dazai:

"Your birth itself was a mistake. We're the same. Is there really a point to suffering through all that pain for a life that isn't even real?" The voice was taunting him. "Shut up," Chuuya spat, but even he knew he was talking to himself. "Screw you, Dazai." "That's just proof that you at least somewhat believe what I'm saying. Because deep down inside, you're the same as me." (Storm Bringer)

Dazai is the Chuya, who regrets being born and wishes to die. Still, he is also the Chuya, who wants to live, despite it all:

Chuya quietly stared at Daai's expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. "So you're saying... you want to live now?" "I wouldn't go that far," Dazai replied with a resigned smile. "Maybe I won't find anything, but I figure I'll give it a try." (Fifteen)

The Tainted Sorrow wishes nothing because it isn't a person. Chuya fears he has no will of his own because he isn't human:

Chuuya Nakahara didn't dream. For him, waking up was like a bubble emerging from within mud. (Storm Bringer)

This fear is why Chuya's friendship with Adam is so important.

Adam is a an artificial creation, like Chuya. He is even called after the Frankenstein monster. He is a robot programmed to destroy himself for the sake of his mission:

"This is the real reason why an android was sent, instead of a human detective. My core, which now contains state secrets, will be incinirated along with Verlaine." (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Adam is a person, like Chuya. He is even called after the first man. He is a friend, who chooses to sacrifice himself for a loved one:

"I get to protect you. I couldn't ask for more." (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Dazai and Adam are linked to life and humanity, which are the main themes of Chuya's arc in the novels.

They both get to keep on living together with Chuya:

Dazai curled into the fetal position and screamed, "Dying with Chuuya? Anything but thaaaat!!" (Storm Bringer)

"Would you like to hear an android joke, Master Chuuya?" (Adam revealed as alive at the end of Storm Bringer)

Fittingly, Storm Bringer ends with the three of them together and alive. Chuya loses several friends, but by the end he still has two bonds. Two people who survive their friendship with him.

Even more importantly, Dazai and Adam both care about Chuya's humanity:

"Chuuya's gonna kill N at this rate and lose his humanity, but I want to see him suffer as a human. That's why I have to stop him" (Dazai in Storm Bringer)

"Do you know whether Master Chuuya is human?" I was curiously hopeful that he would know the truth. (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Not only that, but they help Chuya finish his arc and find himself:

Then what is a soul? My friend's final words... What if those words were merely the words of a soulless command? So what? (Chuya in Storm Bringer)

Dazai gives Chuya a choice and Adam helps Chuya make it.

Dazai believes in Chuya's humanity more than anyone else:

"You sound like you're certain he's human." "I am." Dazai sighed, smiling. "There's no way I could hate a man-made character string this much." (Storm Bringer)

N, Shirase, Rimbaud and Verlaine all reduce Chuya to a skill. Dazai instead sees Chuya as his own person. Sure, he finds Chuya annoying, but he is the only one, who interacts with Chuya for who he is, rather than what he can do.

Adam realizes Chuya is human no matter his origins:

"Asleep or not, he is just an ordinary human," Chuuya replied indifferently. "his skill is strong, but that's it. He gets mad, he worries... That doesn't seem to be enough for him, though." "You are exactly right. It appears you have reached the conclusioin you needed to arrive at." (Chuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)

The Flags, Verlaine, Dazai and Chuya himself are focused on uncovering Chuya's birth. Is he the original kid or the clone? Discovering the truth is everyone's goal. Still, by the end Adam realizes Chuya's nature doesn't matter. He is Chuya either way. He is the person who teaches Adam about humanity. He is Adam's first friend.

Thanks to both Dazai and Adam, Chuya finally faces himself and activates Corruption. Not only that, but Chuya's final choice to let Arahabaki out is a perfect example of how he interprets freedom:

Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison BUT NOW, DARKNESS MY SORROW I have not yet fallen apart So, as I laugh off this imposed inconvenience Let's overturn even the heavens and the earth (GRAVITY)

Chuya is trapped in many ways and he knows it. He is given a gift he doesn't want and he is forced to join an organization he dislikes. And yet, he makes all these "imposed inconveniences" his. Chuya accepts the "card he is given" and uses it the best he can.

He combines his gift with martial arts, so that it really becomes his own ability:

He finds his own motivation to work for the mafia:

"I chose to join the Mafia on my own, and I'm never gonna be your lackey, much less your dog!" (Chuuya to Dazai in Fifteen)

He doesn't open the gate when N forces him, but he chooses to on his own terms.

It is really not by chance that in Chuya's first big fight in the manga, this happens:

Chuya claims there is no choice, but he is still the one who decides to activate Corruption. Even when trapped, Chuya always pushes forward and plays the hand he is dealt with passion. Even if he is unsure of who he is, he lives on as himself.

WHO IS CHUYA?

Chuuya took off one of his leather riding gloves and gazed at his hand. This is my hand, he thought. (Storm Bringer)

Chuya is a person. He has always been, no matter if he is the original or the clone. He feels pain, happiness, surprise. He is able to bond and to empathize with others. All of this makes him human. Not only that, but all of this makes him Chuya.

It is interesting that by the end, many people who objectify Chuya, recognize his personhood.

Shirase sees him as the teenage he is and saves him

Mori traps Chuya in the mafia, but is touched by Chuya's passion and loyalty:

Both Rimbaud and Verlaine eventually see who Chuya is:

"Chuuya, you already possess strength and talents all your own, separate from Arahabaki. You are strong not as a god but as a human being." (Rimbaud in Fifteen)

"Does that mean... you do not yet resent the world?" "There's people I hate, but not all of'em," replied Chuuya. "I know better than to try and live a solitary existence. You used to feel the same, right?" Verlaine didn't respond. It was as if his silence itself was his answer. (Storm Bringer)

And tell him to live on:

"Chuuya... can I... ask you... a favor?" "What is it?" "Live" Randou said in almost a whisper. (Fifteen)

"Chuuya-live." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

Chuya manages to inspire all these people. At the same time, he is inspired back by them:

I was blessed with wonderful friends. That's all. I could have been in your situation, and you could have been in mine. (Chuya to Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

He integrates all his loved ones in who he is:

He (probably) imitates Hirotsu's habit to wear gloves and to take them away, when he is getting serious. This mannerism partially substitutes his practice to fight with the hands in the pockets

He is given his motorcycle by Albatross and keeps it as a memory of the Flags

He wears Verlaine's hat, which is really a gift from all three Chuya's key parental figures:

1- Rimbaud creates it for Verlaine

Once Verlaine puts on the hat, the fabric lining acts like coils, deflecting any external command sequences that could tamper with his mind. In other words, the wearer can control command sequences at will. With this hat, Verlaine is one step closer to becoming a human with free will. (Rimbaud in Storm Bringer)

2- Verlaine passes it down to Chuya

"You really like that hat, huh? That was his, right?" "Yeah, I'd rather not wear my brother's hand-me-downs, but it's got some pretty useful functions." (Shirase and Chuya in Storm Bringer)

3- Mori gives it to Chuya as a gift when he joins the mafia

"What's the hat for?" "It signifies your acceptance into the Mafia," Mori explained with a smile as he stood facing Chuuya. "Whoever recruits a new member into the organization usually looks after them as well. It's custom to gift the new recruit with something they can wear as a symbol of that bond." (Fifteen)

As a result, Chuya's hat is an object full of symbolism:

Within the darkness, a shadow of a hat lightly dances.

It is both shadow (a shadow of a hat) and light (within the darkness, it dances). On the one hand it is the key to Corruption, so to chaos. On the other hand it gives Chuya the power to control this chaos to an extent.

It is both what grants Chuya's free will and what threatens his autonomy:

It describes Chuya's bond with Mori, which is contradictory. Mori blackmails Chuya to join the mafia and controls him. He also offers Chuya a family (heart) and an insight on leadership (mind).

It represents Chuya's bond with Rimbaud and Verlaine, who are Chuya's literary parents, as their real life counterparts inspired Chuya Nakahara's poetry. In general, Chuya's past lowkey alludes to the true poet's one, at least metaphorically.

Nakahara Chuya is born in a rather wealthy family and forced by his father to pursue medicine studies. However, he discovers poetry when he is 8 years old and his younger brother dies. Later on, he rebels against his father's education and is inspired by Rimbaud and Verlaine's works. He imitates both their poems and their dandy life-style.

Similarly, BSD Chuya finds himself trapped until he is symbolically awaken to literature (break out of the lab) by Rimbaud and Verlaine. Here, his poetry (Upon The Tainted Sorrow) is set free and Chuya is reborn:

Those newborn cries filled the outside world in the form of flames. The raging flames brought destruction to the surface for as far as the eye could see. And thus, " " was born. (Fifteen)

Interestingly, Chuya is 7 or 8, when Rimbaud and Verlaine arrive in his life. Moreover, his survival and freedom come at the cost of his other self (his clone/the original Chuya). Just like Nakahara Chuya's first poem is the result of his grief for his brother's death.

In other words, Chuya is Rimbaud and Verlaine's literary child. He is what their bond leaves behind. This is why initially they both strongly project on Chuya, but eventually let him go. Isn't it normal for a parent to see themselves in their child? And isn't it normal for the child to imitate the parents to an extent? And yet, the child is his own person. Just like this, Chuya is strongly defined by both Rimbaud and Verlaine, but he is growing into himself:

"It's okay. The Port Mafia is my family now" (Chuya in Storm Bringer)

So, who is Chuya? It's easy, really. He is a Port Mafia Executive (and probably the next Port Mafia boss). Right now, he needs to define his role within the organization and outside Mori. As a matter of fact, Mori is Chuya's third father, so to become an adult, Chuya needs to outgrow him. Just like he did with Rimbaud and Verlaine. Only then, he will truly choose who Chuya Nakahara is.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #chuya nakahara #nakahara chuya #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chūya #bsd meta #bungou stray dogs meta #my meta #chuya is so rich #i actually cut several things #like his bond with both mori and dazai or his set-up to be a leader #oh well #hope it is still enjoyable :)

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nyrasbloodyclover · 10 months

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parallel lines (canon!aemond x modern!reader)

a/n: i couldn't come up with how aemond ended up in our world, but i didn't want to use standard stuff like the multiverse or idk (you get what i'm trying to say, i am too lazy, basically)

also, this was soooo fun to write please someone request part two

Aemond was not of this world, that was very much visible. His clothes (that suited him very much) completely stood out from the things people normally wore now,his hair was beautiful but unusual, platinum blond, almost reaching his waist, and the sapphire eye that replaced his lost one looked perfect on him.

Long story short, he didn't belong here. His world was of dragons and family dynasties. But, since he was stuck here (for god knows how long) I got to show him the beauty of the modern age.

"What can you even do here? Everything looks the same," he said, thinking of my street and all of the houses. He didn't like that they were built beside each other.

"The beauty of architecture is gone, as far as I can see. You claim to be making a progress and talking about future, but if your society continues to exist like this, it's going to ruin itself."

"Aemond, please don't rain on my parade right now. It's so much fun showing you all the new things in my world since I know everything about yours."

He furrowed his brows, "What parade?"

I smiled for myself. "Nevermind. Do you think Aegon is a nihilist?"

"Your philosophy makes no sense to me. And I think the whole concept of your so-called nihilism is very much stupid. How can you say that you are a nihilist if there is nothing and you believe that nothing really exists? If belief doesn't exist, how can you believe—"

"Please stop and follow me." My head started to hurt from his many many MANY arguments about everything.

"What is this? You know I already told you I don't like your room. Why do you decorate your walls with these gruesome pictures?"

"It's not gruesome, I already told you—"

"And why is there a picture of my brother beside your bed? How does it look so realistic? Are you a witch?" he said with wide eye. I didn't explain to him how printer works yet.

"Stop being so dramatic. I wanted to say— I already told you I keep photos of my favorite TV shows on my walls. Your brother is there because he's very much my type." Not that I am Team Green. Nyra for the win.

"You want him as a husband?" He asked like it was the most impossible thing someone could say.

"Something like that..." It was different speaking about fictional characters you like with your friends than with said character's BROTHER. I could say the most unhinged things with my best friend but I had to restrain myself in front of him.

Aemond was smart, he quickly grasped the whole concept of the modern era. And he was well read too. So when he told me he was bored, an idea came to me.

"Here," I took his hand and led him to the corner of my room where I kept all my books. The large shelf made him smile. He probably had way bigger library at his home, but this'll do for now.

I was happy that he liked my idea. "Can I?" He gestured towards my books. I nodded, as exited as he was.

"Why are they so colorful?" He frowned. I wasn't sure if there were many romance novels in Westeros. Or fantasy. What even was fantasy to them? Guns and women's rights, probably.

"I have classics too. They aren't so colorful," I picked a couple from the bottom of my shelf. "They could help you understand our world better."

I handed them to Aemond, his gaze hypnotized. He probably read most of the books in Westeros, that they bored him. This was something new, something he hadn't seen before.

"Who is Dorian Gray?" I heard him ask. My smile grew wider.

"He sold his soul to the devil for eternal beauty. But his sins began to show on his portrait, representing his cursed soul."

"I think my mother would've liked this."

"Maybe, but look at this one." I showed him my favorite. Frankenstein. "I think you should just read it and tell me what do you think."

After a couple of hours, a whole season of The Walking Dead, and five diet cokes, he finished reading my favorite book. Then the discussion began.

"So what you are saying is that the Creature's actions are justified because Frankenstein is the real monster?"

"Yes. Exactly. Frankenstein made something—Someone and refused to take responsibility. The Creature wouldn't have done all of that if Victor showed him some love. Like a parent. Murder is obviously wrong, but Frankenstein abandoned the Creature. And it yearned for love. Things would've turned out differently if Frankenstein had been there for his creation."

"I still don't agree. Just because our parents don't give us love doesn't mean we get the right to go around and murder people."

I almost wanted to laugh. "You're the one to talk."

He turned his head, almost breaking his neck, "Excuse me?"

"Oh don't play all nice right now. You killed Luke! And for what?" I said, accusingly.

"It was an accident!"

I think we argued until 4am. We couldn't sleep even then, so I switched genres. It was a bad idea.

"Give me that! You're certainly not reading Penelope Douglas!" I chased him around the kitchen, trying to snatch the book from him. And I mean Punk 57. Not trying to be rude, but reading that made me lose brain cells. And I didn't want to explain to Aemond what a vibrator was.

"You'll become stupid! Stop reading that! Do you wanna be stupid??" I said, running around the kitchen table, trying to get to him. He was reading it while avoiding me.

"Are you calling yourself stupid?" He said with a chuckle.

I groaned in frustration. He was so annoying.

He, fortunately, dropped the book after it's third chapter, saying he didn't get the whole point of high school. I agreed with him.

So I gave him Edgar Allan Poe's collection of short stories while making noodles and cookies. The sun started to rise.

"My classmate said he looks like Hitler."

"Who's Hitler? Another person from your modern era I should admire?"

"Please forget I said anything." I reminded myself to shut up.

It was funny how Poe confused him.

"What is this?" He said after reading The Tell-tale Heart. "Why did he hear the heart beat under—"

"His own guilt made him insane," I said, frowning while trying the cookie dough. It was too sweet, I loved it.

I could see him concentrate while reading The Black Cat and completely change his face when he switched to Poe's poetry. I knew he would love it.

"I think Alone is my favourite so far."

"Mine too. But everything he wrote just resonates with me, you know?"

"Even the Premature burial?"

"Especially the Premature burial." He gave me a once over after my comment and I went to get the food.

Aemond hated noodles, that was certain. He almost spat them out, claiming to be too spicy. I rolled my eyes at him. They weren't even homemade.

I gave him one cookie and I could see that he liked it, but he found another way he could annoy me.

"How do you keep all of your teeth while eating this? The sugar is going to poison me."

"It's not, trust me." I chewed my cookie. "I think you should start reading Tolstoy next and then switch to Kafka."

#hotd #hotd fanfic #aegon targaryen #daemon targaryen #hotd x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond imagine #prince aemond #aemond smut #aemond fic

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bonefall · 4 months

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Since she was mentioned briefly in the previous post- can Fernstripe and Sunbeam have at least a single conversation together? Something like “hey, what were your trials like and what should I expect?” It doesn’t have to give anything away by having her go “my trials were done under Bramblestar, not Squirrelstar, I can’t promise our trials will be remotely similar”. Though I just want Sunbeam to have friends outside of her in-laws and it’d be cool to see Fernstripe do something outside of “oh yeah she exists” without her actually appearing.

Fernstripe and Shellfur got blorboified. They're one of my favorite background character ships entirely because of BB additions, lmao

They bonded over Shellfur asking her for "niceness lessons," because Spotfur wasn't going to have her husband's bully of a brother know his nespring if he didn't figure his shit out.

I used them for framing what a Gathering and Aftergathering look like at the Lake

Fernstripe can't cook for shit

I am once again, much like a firm guardian telling the kiddies to not get too attached to all of the foster kittens we're sponsoring, saying that I can't say how exactly I'll be using Fernstripe in ASC quite yet. But I CAN promise you for sure that she is going to have waaaaay more of a role.

Both as a fresh migrant to ThunderClan just like Sunny-B, and also as a member of the Graykin family through her mateship to Shellfur. The Graykin family gets a lot more focus in BB because I can't be normal about them.

Assorted thoughts;

I want Sunny to have a bit of a concern, through Fernstripe. See, SHE belongs because she's mates with Shellfur. But what would that mean for Sunny if Nightheart never comes back?

Fernstripe should be someone that Sunbeam gets to know very well, if I do end up going to her having more agency over "constructing" teams of cats for her trials.

And she explicitly should realize, "Fernstripe is my friend which makes me want to pick her; but she's intelligent, not powerful. I can't put her on any tasks that involve that."

"............or anything food-related. of course. good lord"

Someone will mention that Fernstripe was grandfather-claused under any revision that bumped up the 1 task to 3. Most of ThunderClan is pretty openly rolling their eyes about even the 1 task, so they're definitely not going to make Fern do 2 more.

It's funny that there are now 3 cats with Fern prefixes in ThunderClan lmao.

And there's been even more ferns, historically

Brackenfur was named after a type of fern. His daughter, Honeyfern, was named after him before earning that Honor Title

Ferncloud just died, Spotfur named a kit after her (not graystripe), there's also Fernsong, and now Fernstripe. In Clanmew these are all different types of fern, but they're still ferns.

It should be a running joke in other Clans that they use "fern" as the prefix for random hypothetical warriors.

Kinda like how if you're talking about Americans you'll be like, "John Hamburger visits 200 diners a minute and consumes half of the world's oil," or if you're talking about Brits you're like "Kingsley Bigglesworth is repelled by spice like a vampire to the sun, must have an IV drip of blended beans-on-toast to survive."

"Fernface hears a cat sneeze across the lake, arrives with 15 clerics and a bowl of fruit juice they call "soup", cries when you don't say thank you more than twice."

Fernstripe must have been mortified when she realized that her parents named her Fern and then she ended up joining ThunderClan, lmao

#BB!Fernstripe #Better Bones AU #BB!ASC

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williamrikers · 7 months

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The Undeniable Queerness of Enchanté the Series

(thank you @ranchthoughts for letting me ramble about this in your inbox before turning my thoughts into a post)

there are bls and then there are bls. right? there are dead fish kisses and there are characters who kiss each other like their lives depend on it.

and enchanté firmly belongs in the second category. 1,500-word essay under the cut.

there is such a consistent and tangible queer undercurrent to everything that's happening on this show and i'm not just talking about the fact that several scenes look like they could be the opening scene of a gay porno. or the surprise bondage. or force in drag. or proposing marriage in front of the eiffel tower. no, there's this aching, desperate desire underlying everything. theo has--in addition to his main love interest--four very hot gay suitors who all very obviously desire him carnally... this is some sort of gay manic pixie dream boy wish fulfilment fantasy and i am absolutely eating it up.

there is a vibe to the show that @ranchthoughts called "fanfic-like", and i would argue that that's because enchanté is actually fanfiction of the little prince. (i'm planning on making a separate post soon about how the book was referenced on and used as inspiration for the show.)

enchanté is fully aware of its own fictionality. it is on-the-nose fictional. but that's what makes it so much fun--it's not trying to be something it isn't.

take the reading memories segments in episode 4 [3/4] for example: these scenes were incredibly cringe, like, full-on bad-green-screen terrible-costumes-and-wigs hilarious-acting cringe, but fully aware of their own cringe-ness. (also, gawin was both in drag and naked in the same scene as two different characters, like. get on enchanté's level.) (incidentally, can anyone tell me what character aou/phupha was supposed to be? i got detective conan, monkey d. luffy and momotarō for the others, but i'm stumped on phupha's character.)

and that self-awareness makes it camp! there is such a level of camp to the whole show which feels extremely intentional (especially in the first two thirds), almost like a meta-commentary: "this is the genre. we know it's stupid but we love it here", and i adore that. they know the tropes, they know the bl landscape, and they're just having fun with all of it.

and the whole set-up in itself is a queer allegory, isn't it? theo and akk are "from different worlds", so to speak, hindered in their love not just by their complete inability to communicate but also by their forced separation as children. when they meet again, theo doesn't really belong anywhere, he's an outsider both in france and in thailand, he is unable to act the way thai society expects him to act (e.g. failing to show the proper respect to the seniors), unable to get his parents to understand him while being actively lied to by them (the whole ocean of miscommunication in that family deserves its own post), harboring feelings for his childhood friend his whole life but unable to voice them in a normal sort of way, instead falling back on concocting the most convoluted, immediately backfiring plan to try to make akk jealous and get him to confess his feelings first.

theo is fundamentally isolated because he grew up between two cultures, and neither one quite fits him: when he's in france, he is comforted by thai food and the only people he's close with (his grandmother and sun) are from thailand like himself; but when he's in thailand, he can't quite get used to the social conventions and makes social blunders, he is very slow at writing in thai.

it's such a poignant queer allegory in my opinion. they didn't end up making as much a point of it on the show as they could have, but it very much informed my whole reading of the show and the characters. there is a sort of inability to articulate his experience surrounding theo that makes him even more isolated and screams "baby gay in need of a community" to me. having akk share his experience at the end is something that i'm not a big fan of for other, unrelated reasons (might make a separate post about enchanté's ending and why it fell flat for me), but when looking at it through this lens, it is the only way for akk to really get theo, to really understand his struggle on a fundamental level.

which brings me back to that desire i mentioned earlier: theo desires akk, very much so, there are a whole handful of scenes where akk gets close to him and theo closes his eyes, expecting to finally be kissed by him, but more than that, he desires understanding. he often brushes off his own difficulties and has a tendency to be emotionally clueless (for example about his parents' divorce), but what i see most in his character is the desire to be understood, to be seen by akk, for akk to see him for who he is and to love him for who he is. (akk, of course, has been doing both of those things all along. he's constantly taking pictures of theo, he's watching him through his window--with theo's full knowledge--he is always looking at him, he's always loving him.)

it's not inherently queer to want to be loved as we truly are, i believe heterosexual people experience this, too, but in the context of queerness itself, being perceived as queer by other queer people is indeed a fundamental aspect to experiencing queer love (maybe not in gay for you bls, but i haven't heard of much gay for you happening in real life). not to be unscientific about this, but the vibes of the perception aspect of enchanté are just very queer to me, you know?

oh, and speaking of desire: enchanté in general is very physical. there is a level of intimacy between the actors and the camera that seems incredibly intentional: there are several shower scenes, scenes of theo and akk shirtless, TWO (2) nude gawin scenes (though one of those is sadly a fake-out and he is actually wearing shorts), many, many scenes that include bare feet, which is not something i see super often in bl, at least not to the point that i notice the frequency of it.

enchanté is very rooted in the physical reality of desirable bodies: theo is allowed to openly, physically flirt with saifa, even though that's not even his endgame love interest, phupha uses physical touch in his pursuit of theo, natee shows his obsession with theo by drawing his face/body about a hundred times, and akk and theo are wholly unable to keep their hands off each other. i've joked about the intricate rituals, but seriously, they are constructing so many intricate rituals. there are two separate scenes in which they make up excuses to kiss each other's elbows/arms/backs. they keep touching each other in a thousand ways, in every possible way they can that is still plausibly deniable as physical desire--until they kiss while watching that movie and then it's just a game of chicken of who will confess first. because their physical attraction to each other is undeniable. it's obvious. this was really refreshing to see in a genre that so often plays with the blushing maiden trope, and one character is so often made to pursue the other: on enchanté, akk and theo are equally horny for each other. it's not their lack of physical attraction that keeps them apart for so long.

(sadly, the show then shies away from actually getting very sexually physical: after their desperate, stunning, amazing balcony-kiss, they aren't allowed to be horny for each other in the last two episodes, when they're actually in a relationship. this is just one of the many aspects that i didn't like about the conclusion of the story, because you simply cannot tell me that these two as we got to know them in episodes 1 to 8 would really be as chaste with each other as they're shown in episodes 9 and 10.)

leaving that aside for the moment, let's talk about that kiss. as mentioned right at the beginning, when these two kiss each other on the balcony, it's desperation in its rawest form. these two--and especially theo--crave each other. theo kisses akk like he will die without him. theo kisses akk like he can finally breathe. theo kisses akk like he never wants to do anything else ever again.

i'm a bit obsessed with book's acting here, because of all the kissing scenes i've seen him in, i think this is THE most desperate one. force plays it a bit more subtle, but book's expression is full-on anguish. theo waited his whole life to be kissed by akk, and book portrays that so beautifully, with such depth. it's one of my favorite bl kisses for sure, it's played with so much heart, so much feeling, that it's hard to even think of kisses that compare, apart from the bad buddy episode 5 rooftop kiss.

anyway, all of this to say that enchanté to me is deeply, lovingly queer, and it's a shame that so many people are sleeping on it. (and that includes myself, i was wary about watching this show for a long time because i'd heard so many negative things about it.)

but i'm here to tell you: watch enchanté. it's wonderful, it's hilariously funny, it's endearing, it has book and force in it, and it is extremely queer.

#enchanté #enchanté the series #enchante the series #*mine #my enchanté meta

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darling-i-read-it · 8 months

Text

Sorry

Phillip Graves x fem!reader

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings: mw2 spoilers, spoilers for the new packs and online campaigns and things, (me knowing NOTHING about the military. I just be googling words. I am very sorry if they are wrong! I also didn’t play the online stuff so I had to read on that too. So much work for u philip), the reader leaving price and ghost behind technically, grief, heavy insinuation to smut, VIOLENCE like a lot. Reader kills people and has a mini extensional crisis about it, let me know if I missed anything!

Author’s Note: me: i’m so normal about him. Also me: writes a six thousand word fanfiction about my delusions

Summary: You and Phil had been together when he ‘died’ in the tank. You’ve been grieving him ever since, not knowing he was still out there.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

When he was up in the air, sometimes Phil Graves thought about home. He thought about the way the air felt in the south. The heavy humidity of a late night around a fire with family and friends. His childhood home, a two story house with some land. The feeling of flannels over his shoulders, wind against his face when he rode the truck late at night, stupid country songs playing through the radio. He only let himself have these moments briefly. When he was up in the air and everyone was quiet with anticipation. No one wanted to talk about the moments before a descent, the seconds before disaster.

That was when he let himself think of home.

He thought of the world he used to call his own. He loved his job and he thought he was doing good with it. But sometimes he wondered what would’ve happened had he stayed back after high school, instead of hoping on the military like it was a moving train.

Whoever that was, he was gone now.

Shadow 0-1. Commander. That’s who he was now. That’s who he was always meant to be. That’s who he had been when he betrayed 141’s trust. That’s who he was when he got out of it. That’s who blew up in the tank in South America. That’s who misses you.

“You good boss?” Phil snapped out of his thoughts. He nodded once.

“Golden, Sparks. Thinking about dinner when we get back tonight.”

“You makin barbecue?”

“I sure am. Got a damn fine steak to cook.”

“You really oughta have more get-togethers, like old times.” Phil gave his subordinate a thin lipped smile. He fondly remembered the times when he would bring his closer soldiers around, cook for them, listen to shitty music, drink beers. In the back of his eyelids he could see you, handing him the tongs, making a joke about his dad barbeque. He would tease you about children.

He had stopped having them after the mission where he left some behind. He hadn’t wanted to; the strain in his voice was clear. But he had.

“Maybe when I’m legally back from the dead,” he countered. Sparks chuckled and Graves stood up. It was far better to be back in the commanding position with his guys, the same ones who would follow him into fire. It distracted him from the rest of it. The house he lost, the home he no longer had.

He had this.

You brushed your hair out of your face. You messed with the glass in your hand, rolling it around the ring on the wooden table. The ice had melted into the alcohol, making it watery and less effective. It was cold outside, fall finally taking hold. You were wearing a thin jacket that seemed useless.

This drink was Phil’s regular. You remembered it like the back of your hand, ordering it when he was caught up behind the crowds. It tasted like his lips after a long night out. It was warm, like his breath on your skin.

“You listinin’?” You lifted your head. You had been staring at your half drank glass. Simon Riley’s eyes met yours. They were objectively beautiful. You would never understand why he kept them mostly covered up.

“Yeah. Sorry.” He let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry. I just got lost in thought. What were you saying?”

“I was asking what you thought about Price going back out there so soon.”

“You of all people know what it’s like to be married to your work.”

“You aren’t irked he’s going without you?” His accent was thick. It was rare to get him to talk like this but you had known each other so long, it felt ormal now. He seemed unnatural when he clammed up in missions.

You shook your head.

“I’ll get back into it,” you told him. You cleared your throat. His eyes narrowed down, staring at you. His long face felt threatening, though you knew better. You stared back at him, tilting your head and raising an eyebrow. “Stop staring at me like that.”

“How many times does Soap have to apologize for you to get over it?” You bit the inside of your cheek, shaking your head.

“Stuff it Simon.”

“I won’t. It’s been a year. We’ve given you your time, we’ve apologized, we’ve been nice and cordial about it. You need to realize who Graves was and that what happened to him was warranted. There’s only so many times we can spell it out for you before we stop babying you.” As he spoke, your head continued to shake. It felt like the words were rattling around in your brain, bouncing off your skull. He was right, you knew that. But the words still stung.

“You don’t understand,” you protested. He cut you off.

“I know I don’t. You’ve told me.” You leaned back in your chair, your glass landing with a light clang. “Love,” he muttered, leaning forward. “It’s time.”

You wished you could be done with it. You wished that his words could will all the pain to subside. You wished you didn’t have to suck it up when Soap followed Phil to the tank and blew it up. You wished you could forget about the moment you held your tongue, knowing that if you spoke up you would be a traitor too. You wished everything was different.

You didn’t want it to hurt anymore. You didn’t want to wake up and think he was next to you, even now. It got better as the time passed but it never fully went away. You knew it was never going to subside completely, always stuck to you like a stain you couldn’t get out.

“I’m trying,” you promised. “I’m trying.”

“You need to come to the next one.” Everytime you put on a headset you could hear Soap's words. Graves is KIA. How’s Price? He moved past it with such grace you almost missed it the first time.

“I’ll try.”

“You need to do more than that.” You swallowed hard.

“I know.” -

“I’m glad you’re here.” Price's voice was low but gentle. Careful. Like you were an object that would break if he spoke to you the wrong way.

“Me too,” you said, nodding. Your voice sounded fake and you knew it. You only agreed to this because you knew you had to. You had Price here and Ghost promised he would do all the heavy lifting. It would be nothing. The men you trusted would have your back when you flew out to enemy territory. “You didn’t have to lobby for me, you know.” You had become a liability the second Graves became a traitor. The already rocky relationship with the Shadows was broken clean in half. You were a problem now.

“I wanted to. You’re one of my best shooters.”

“Did Simon tell you to?”

“He gently nudged me.” He had his helmet on, the strap under his chin. It had been a while since you saw him in uniform.

“Where are we going again?”

“You should really read the debriefs.” You shrugged. You used to, religiously. You would tell Phil classified information like it was pillow talk. He would give it back to you after coffee in the morning. You cleared your throat.

“I do. I just trust you more than the papers,” you joked halfheartedly.

“Don’t worry too much. It’s all scouting, no shooting.”

“Why’re you bringing me and Ghost then?”

“I like hanging out with you guys.” You laughed, this time for real. He gestured forward. “Let’s head out.”

You could only see the blocks of land below you in the plane. You wondered who was living in the little houses the size of dots. You wondered if they were happy. You could feel the sweat piling in your uniform.

“There’s some guns held in a storage facility. They shouldn’t be heavily guarded but will be servilenced,” Price said. He spoke above the noise in the plane, loud and rumbling. “Ghost, you’ll go ahead. I’ll be down there outside the building, watching your six. Y/L/N, you’re up here on guns.”

“It’s boring up here,” you complained. “Can’t I come with you guys?”

“We need you on your A game to be on the ground,” Ghost said, coldly. You gave him a look but couldn’t read his expression with the mask. Price was avoiding your eyeline on purpose, you could feel it. It almost felt like a fake mission, something to get you back out there without putting you in real danger. Though you were vaguely insulted, it was nice to know they cared. You tried to shove your feelings aside.

“Alright,” you said finally. “Fine.”

“You’re good on guns,” Price said. “An Eagle eye will ensure everyone's safety.”

“I already said alright Price,” you said as gently as you could manage. The plane started to slow down to a hover. Price stood up, using the railing above to steady himself.

“You ready?” Simon questioned, coming up behind you as you stood up. You nodded once. Muscle memory would kick in before your panic would. Everything would be fine.

“As I’ll ever be.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“I know.”

Ghost gave you one last pat on the back before he walked towards the back of the plane. You watched him go, his hand on his side, looped around his belt. Price followed behind. He turned back to look at you, the wind rushing towards the front. You tried to keep your face neutral, professional. Your bones ached with familiarity. This was okay. This would be okay.

You turned towards the guns. The plane had a designated corner for them, buttons lining the walls. You zoomed in on the house that was holding the guns, turning it to infrared. You sat down at the chair, leaning over it. You didn’t need to put on all your gear to push some buttons but you refrained from complaining.

“You hear me clear up there?” Ghost’s voice came through your ear piece.

“Yes sir. Loud and clear.” You could see Ghost’s little figure as he landed. “I’m seeing two hostels outside of the building. On either side of the doors, they both have guns.” “Roger,” Ghost said. You followed his heat signature. Price had also made his way to the ground.

“What’s the house looking like?” he asked. You moved your camera along, narrowing in on the building. You could see men walking. Patrolling. You couldn’t help but wonder how many guns were being held there. The building was larger than Price made it seem. Were they in the heart of the building, with the clump of men?

“Lots,” you admitted.

“Give me a ballpark,” Price responded. You could see Ghost down there, taking out the men. He was always quick with it. Sometimes you forgot that the man you shared drinks with was a cold blooded murderer. You would not want to be at the other end of his knife.

“Ten upstairs. Can’t tell how many downstairs. Probably 20?”

“That’s quite a few people for some guns,” Ghost chimed in.

“No kidding,” you muttered. “I can see some on the balcony. I’m ready to hit whenever Cap.”

“Roger,” Price responded. You went to hone in, aiming just in case Ghost needed back up quicker than you could aim.

The plane jerked right, causing you to lose focus. You cursed, shutting one eye to get a clearer view. You painlessly lined it back up. Just as you had it, the plane jerked again.

“Hey man!” you called to the front. “Steady!”

“You seein this?” the pilot called. You turned back towards the infrared. Ghost hadn’t made it inside yet. You got out of your chair and pushed aside the door to the cockpit. Through the large window you could see another plane making its way towards you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. How could someone know you were here?

“Enemy plane?” you asked.

“Not on any paths,” he admitted. “I’m willing to bet.” You quickly pivoted back towards the infrared.

“Hey boys, we got some company up here.”

“We need to secure this area,” Price said. His voice had gone rough. Professional now.

“If they’ve got more men, we aren’t securing shit,” you told him.

“I’m going through the downstairs,” Ghost added. With his voice you could hear gunshots and commotion. You cursed and sat back down.

“Do I have permission to shoot Price?”

“Yes,” he responded, quickly. You pushed down on the trigger, taking out the men on the balcony. They fell with ease. You looked back towards the cockpit. The plane was only getting closer. You could hear the pilot trying to contact it, like it was a civilian plane. The menacing figure loomed in the air.

“How much longer?” you asked.

“Five minutes,” Ghost responded.

“Fuck,” you muttered. “We don’t have five minutes.”

“Make five minutes.” You stood back up and went back to the cockpit. You put your hand on the chairs.

“It’s an AC-130,” the pilot called. “Military.”

“I’m going down,” you yelled. “Get me down there.” There was little protest from the pilot. You grabbed your gun off the chair. The back hatch lowered. The wind rushed towards you. The air was threatening with how fast it blew. It was like the whole world was going to be sucked into the plane.

You took a deep breath. Life or death. Your friends would die if you didn’t do something.

You turned back towards your safe spot in the plane. It looked more dangerous by the second. Each moment you hesitated was a moment wasted.

You turned back towards the entrance. You grabbed the leftover parachute and buckled it tightly.

And you jumped.

There was a moment of sheer panic. You forgot the reason you were in the air, you just knew you were freefalling. You were rushing towards the hard ground, towards the sound of gunfire. Everything felt fake for about ten seconds.

Then you pulled on the parachute line and drifted towards the ground.

“What’re you doing down here?!” Ghost said in your ear. You wondered if he could see you through the window.

“Helping!” you called back. Price was right. You were one of his best shooters, handicapped or not. You rushed forward, shielding yourself with a large rock. You looked down at the gun, the familiar feeling in your hand. You took a deep breath, checking to make sure it was loaded and ready. Then you turned around and started to shoot.

There was so much going on that it was almost simple. You couldn't focus on one thing so you tried to just breathe. Each shot was a breath. You didn’t think about how that was a person's life. Each shot a family member, a father, a sister. You forgot all of that as you focused on your breathing and your aiming.

“They’re deploying from the plane!” Price said in your ear. You still had no idea where he had gone.

“We should call for backup!” you said back. “Gaz’ll be here in twenty minutes!”

“Soap is closer,” Ghost said. He was in the house. You could tell by the amount of silence around him. He must have cleared the floor.

“Call someone!” you yelled. Price’s voice started to drone on but you didn’t pay much attention. You moved closer to the house, sticking close to cover. Blood was smearing your clothes now. How many people were here? How many people would come?

You looked up at the enemy plane. There had been a constant train of people but now they were slowly diminishing.

You came to a startled stop beside a body that had landed next to cover. You reloaded, your back against the wood, your eyes looking towards the body without thinking. Your head snapped back up but when it registered something familiar, it looked back at the body.

You kneeled all the way down. Your fingers brushed a Shadows patch, engraved on the lifeless soldiers' clothing. Your head started to blur. You hadn’t seen that symbol in months. Its patchwork was now smeared with blood, likely your doing. You ripped off the soldier's helmet.

You recognized him.

Sparks. He had come over for a barbecue. He helped Phil cook. The taste of brisket hit your tongue. The smell of a campfire.

You scampered onto the ground, almost falling over to get away from him. The sounds of gunfire started to muffle. Your breathing grew ragged. Was someone speaking? You held your gun tightly, like it was the only thing holding you to the ground. Was that Price’s voice? You looked around, the sun suddenly blaring. You should’ve come at night. There were clouds. How dare there be clouds when people were dying? You wanted Simon. You wanted Phil.

Someone came around your cover. You raised your gun, a fumble really. You raised it to the soldier in front of you, finger on the trigger, fully intending to shoot. The man in front of you had halted completely. His gun stayed on you, capable of killing you easily, but it remained. He had a helmet on. The glare of the sun covered his face.

Your hands were still shaking.

Suddenly things felt very quiet. A subtle movement of the soldier revealed a glimpse of his face. A face you knew very well.

It all flashed in your mind. His morning snoring, the shitty dad jokes, his guttural laughter. The sound of his truck starting. His mom’s phone number. The first thing you bought for your shared apartment. The taste of his lips. The feeling of his hands on your skin. HIs eyes in the moonlight. The feeling that you could never shake when he died.

He turned and ran. You stood up. You gathered your bearings and followed him, almost slipping on yourself to do so. He couldn’t get very far. People were shooting at you but you had him as a cover. You shoved him down and disarmed him. It usually wouldn’t have been easy to do. Maybe he let it happen. You pulled his collar so you could land behind a discarded car. He struggled against you as you ripped off his helmet completely, disconnecting whatever comm he was using.

His hands reached forward for yours and he took it off, not even bothering to unbuckle your chin strap. His touch felt like a ghosts. The same calloused hands that promised you the world. Your eyebrows furrowed, recognition in your eyes. You reached forward, not thinking. You cupped his face, your fingers sprawled on his cheek and neck.

“Phil?” you whispered. He couldn’t hear you over the commotion but he could read your lips. He knew what his name looked like coming from your mouth.

He didn’t know you were going to be here. If he had, he never would have come. He can’t do this, he can’t blow his cover like this. He had been told maybe Price would make an appearance but you had been out of the field since his death. He was breathing heavily. He couldn’t come near you because he would cave. It was hard enough being without you, checking his phone like you would text him.

“Y/L/N?! Y/N!” Your comm was going insane. It was on the ground though, forgotten.

He was alive. Phillip was alive. His face was there and it was moving, all flesh and blood. You never thought you would see him again except in pictures and videos, ones where you had memorized all his movements.

“Phillip Graves?”

“Yeah baby. Yeah.” His voice was quiet, like he was in disbelief too. You fought the tears rising to your eyes.

“How..how are you here?”

“Long story. “

“I wanna hear it.”

“Your men are shooting my men right now,” he said, like it was a minor inconvenience.

You snapped back into reality. Suddenly all the sounds became crystal clear again. Time resumed. You grabbed your comm and put it to your ear.

“I’m okay! I’m okay!” you said.

“Come back with me,” Phil said quickly.

“What?” He grabbed your comm, putting it in his back pocket.. You reached for it like a child, even letting out a gentle unintentional whimper.

“Come back with me,” he repeated. “Get in my plane.”

“You’re dead. You died in a tank in South America!”

“You should know MacTavish couldn’t take me out.” He cupped your face with both his hands. You had never felt something so good. “Quickly. Yes or no.”

He dreaded a no. He knew Shepherd would have you killed or kidnapped. You couldn’t go back to your friends, knowing what you now knew. They could come up with a retaliation before Graves had even gotten on his feet again.

You had been waiting months for him to come back to you. The answer, despite your morals and your stress, seemed to slip off your tongue easily.

“Yes. Yes I’ll go with you.” He smiled, a genuine smile, covered in dirt and grime.

“C’mon baby. Follow me.” He put his comm back in his ear and grabbed your hand. He held it tightly, like you would slip away. “I’m going back up. How’re we lookin?”

“Significant casualties. The shooter on the edge is killing us.”

“I got her,” he responded. He looked back towards you and you both stood up. He nodded towards the plane, which still had the latter hanging down. “The guns?”

“The house is being defended. We haven’t been able to break through.”

“We can’t afford to lose those. Do what you have to.” He held your hand tightly, dragging you through the battlefield. You passed those that had died in the rubble. You wondered if you had been the cause. Your head was spinning, looking towards the house. You couldn’t even think yet, things were going so fast. All you knew was Phil and his hand in yours.

He grabbed your hips, helping you onto the first step of the ladder.

“I’m comin back up,” he said into his comm. “Someones ahead of me, foreign. Do not shoot. I repeat, do not shoot.” There was a muffled reply. He climbed all the way to the top with you, helping you up onto the plane floor. You pulled yourself up and stood in the middle of the hanger. There was barely anyone left up there. You looked towards the window.

Price. Simon.

You had left them. You hadnt’ meant to. You hadn’t even thought for longer than a moment about it. You put your hand flush against the glass, looking down. You wanted them to make it out okay. They would surely think you had died.

You hadn’t thought this through.

Your favorite ghost had returned and asked you to go to hell with him. You hadn’t even thought.

“Price. Ghost,” you said, quickly. You turned to Graves, panicked. “Let them go. Don’t hurt them.”

“I need those guns.” You had heard his work voice before, the slur between charming and serious. At that moment, his voice was all game. He was giving you an order.

“I need them to live.”

“They shouldn’t have come.”

“I came.” Phil pursed his lips, chewed the inside of his cheek. He looked towards the pilot and the men still in the plane. Your eyes were back out the front window, seeing the plane you had just come out of. You had just been there, standing in that cockpit. The feeling was eerie, tingling in the back of your neck. “Phil please.”

Graves thought for a moment. He looked towards you, your pleading puppy dog eyes. He could see you in the morning, when he said goodbye before work. He could see your back in the bathroom mirror, foggy from a shower. Your favorite cereal on his taste buds. The way you had your coffee.

“We’re losing numbers down here!” a voice came in his ear. He looked back down towards the house. Ghost was taking his men out one by one. Price was likely sneaking behind them, sniping from somewhere.

But Phil was a proud man. He wasn’t going to let those people die for no reason.

“Those men are dead down there,” he said, evenly. He approached you. His hand gripped your arm. “They can’t have died for nothing.”

“Let me call them off. Give me something to call them off,” you pleaded. He groaned in retaliation but gave you your comm back. You put it in your ear.

“I’m getting overwhelmed here!” Ghost exclaimed.

“Get out of there! Get out of there!” you said, desperately. You turned back to the window. “There’s too many of them. They keep coming.”

“She’s right,” Price said, voice gruff. “We need an exit. Soap is on his way.”

“To help?”

“Not enough manpower right now. We have to take this loss.” You could practically hear Ghost’s annoyance. He had done all this and it would’ve been for nothing? He groaned. You stood there, deathly still. “Get to the southside of the building,” Price demanded. “Both of you.” You looked back at Phil, who was staring eagerly. You nodded once. He patted your back, turning back to the pilot.

“Set up post.”

Some men made their way back up to the plane. Others stayed down below to hold down the fort. The ones you recognized starred as they passed you, sitting in the front seat, just behind Graves. He made no comment on you being there. Didn’t talk on the way back to base.

He knew he would have to face Shepherd about it. He just happened to figure he would win. Shepherd couldn't do shit with the Shadows until Graves got back. He was useful and he was a good soldier. Breaking this rule would be okay, he was sure of it.

You followed him onto the tarmac, your body close to him. The plane landed unceremoniously. People gently spoke about their win. Most mourned their losses. No one had managed to get it in their head that you had probably killed their best friend. Most everyone just ogled you in confusion.

“We’re going back to my room,” he explained. You wanted an explanation. You wanted to yell at him. You wanted to scream.

“Okay.”

He led you through the twisting turns of the facility. You had never been in the Shadows main buildings before. They were high tech and likely dangerous.

Graves opened the door to his room. It was larger than the others, for being the Commander. He didn’t have to sleep in bunks or share a room when he was on base. He had called you from this room dozens of times. The phone he used had been crushed, unable to receive anything. He missed it. It had all the pictures of the two of you.

The door clicked shut behind you. You wanted to fight him but in the moment, you could only melt. You wrapped your arms around him and he held onto you for dear life. His touch was fiery and aggressive. He was digging his fingers into your sides, breathing in the scent of your hair. He had missed you so much. More than he had been able to let on. He never wanted to live without you again.

“I thought you were dead,” you whispered. You hadn’t realized the tears had steadily made their way back until you felt them on your cheeks. Graves had his face buried deep into your neck. “I mourned you.”

“I know baby,” he muttered against your skin. “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

He was crying. When was the last time you had seen him cry? He sniffled, though he tried to make it subtle. He pulled back, turning away to rub his eyes. You grabbed his shoulders, not letting him.

“What happened?” you asked quietly. Speaking any louder than a whisper seemed like a crime.

“Shepherd.”

“You weren’t in the tank?” He shook his head. You let out a sigh of relief, despite the horrors you had been through over the months you had believed he was in there. He grabbed your hand.

“I never wanted to leave you,” he promised. His eyes were red, stuffy. He wasn’t sobbing but there were clearly tears forcing their way through his hard exterior. “I did it because I thought it would keep you safe. It would keep you out of the way.”

“You’ve just been out there?” you asked, voice hinting of betrayal. It broke his heart.

“Missing you every second of every day.”

“Did you know where I was?”

“I wasn’t allowed on missions with you confirmed to be in it. It was supposed to be Price, maybe Ghost, maybe Soap today. It wasn’t supposed to be you.”

“I was a last minute addition.”

“And thank God for that.” His hands were staying on you, lingering. “Bringing you back was selfish,” he admitted. “But I couldn’t leave you again.”

“When they told me you were dead,” you started, swallowing your emotions. “I couldn’t eat for a week. Simon had to come force me. I had to pack up all your clothes in the closet, give them to your mother. I had to go to your funeral, the funeral of a federal traitor. I had to see the man who killed you everyday in the hallway,” you spilled. Your voice felt fluid. “I had to..I had to tell Price I was getting better when I wasn’t. I had your drink every time I went to the bar. I haven’t had barbeque in months. I had to go on shitty first dates with people Soap set me up with. I slept in your flannel. I..all my plants died.”

Phil’s voice was quiet. He was pleading, lips wet.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He tried to grab your hands. Ground you. You let him. You stared at him, breathing heavily, reliving every moment you had without him. “I’m sorry.”

“I can’t…I can’t do that again.”

“Me neither. Trust me.” You both were still covered in blood and dirt. You could feel the grime between your fingers. You could see the muck on his face, his perfect face. You put your hand on his cheek.

“Promise me.”

“I promise. I swear to God,” he whispered.

And you kissed him.

And things had never felt so right.

His lips were frenzied, desperate. He had never tasted something so good in his life. You were all he had been craving, every moment of every day. His hands were practically shaking as he touched you. Long lost was his Commander front. He was just Phil.

You hadn’t been so desperate for him since you first had him. Your anguish pushed forward onto his skin, holding him as close as you could get him. He tasted like beer and cologne and dirt.

Phil turned you on your heels so he could sit down on the bed. You straddled him, hands cupping his face, running through his hair. You were both too bulky for this kind of making out. You hadn’t stripped of any gear, still wearing weapons of mass destruction. You pulled away, to verbalize this, but he spoke first.

“Baby I need you. I need you,” he breathed. He kissed you chastly. “Please don’t stop.”

He used to hold back his pleading. He thought it made him look weak in front of you, unattractive. But he couldn’t do it now, when his defenses had been long shattered.

“We need to take all this off,” you said. You looked down into his eyes. They were so beautiful and needy that it hurt your chest. You kissed his lips again, as a promise. “We gotta take off the grenades at least.” He chuckled. He had forgotten all about that. You brushed his hair back, out of his face. “Phil,” you muttered. “Philllip Graves,” you mumbled, a borderline moan. He groaned in need.

“Quickly. Quicker than that.” You laughed. It was the first time you had heard your laugh in months. It was genuine and filled with life. It felt good. You slid off him and started to strip.

He studied you with such intense eyes it felt like you were the most beautiful woman in the world.

You almost couldn’t fall asleep. You traced his features with your gaze, even with his closed eyes. The scar on his cheek. You traced it lightly with your finger. His hair was still wet from the shower. You had both slipped and slid around the bathroom, limbs remaining intertwined. He had made it a point to always be starring or always be touching. You were his. You would never be anyone else's.

He had an arm lazily around your side. You had so much to worry about, so much to do. Were you technically behind enemy lines? What would happen when you woke up in the morning?

Phillip groaned and pulled you closer, smushing you against his chest.

“Woah there cowboy,” you whispered. He smiled, eyes still closed.

“You remember when you used to take my hat?” he asked fondly. You did. The cowboy hat rule. If you wear his hat, you ride the cowboy. You giggled, nodding against the pillow.

“I do.”

“We should do that again.”

“We can do whatever you want,” you told him. “Whatever you want.” He nodded.

“Go to sleep. I’ll figure it out in the mornin.” He put his chin on your head. “I got you.” You believed him.

You hadn’t had such a good sleep since he died, exhaustion over taking your body and forcing you into darkness.

#call of duty fanfiction #phillip graves x reader #Phillip graves imagines #Phillip graves x fem!reader

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ququb444hm · 5 months

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𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭, 𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝

part 31 / old man ☆

masterlist

important note!! there is the implication of a panic attack in this part so if that makes u uncomfortable, please do not continue reading! i am sorry in advance if i offend anyone by the way i write out the panic attack. i have not experienced one before and am basing the information solely on research i have done beforehand as well as the experiences of my friends. and for anyone who has experienced a panic attack, U R ONE OF THE STRONGEST PEOPLE EVER!

“geez, the school needs to start providing free umbrellas or something!” coach ukai exclaimed. he stared at his two players and team manager– tetsu, kozume, and yn were all dripping wet and shivering from the intense weather. “we’re ending practice a bit early so just grab a towel and dry yourselves up a bit or go take a quick shower in the locker room so you at least don’t catch a cold before the game next week.”

“yes, coach.” the three nodded, quickly making their way to the showers.

“yn!” mori called out, running up to his friend with a hoodie in hand. “change into this after so you’re not cold.”

yn eyed the material, smirking once she realized who it belonged to. “did rinnie give this to you?” she mused, “ohoho, so are you guys talking or what?”

“oh shut up, go take a shower. you smell like wet dog.” mori grumbled, shoving the hoodie into yn’s arms. yn giggled, thanking mori before heading into the girls locker room.

(note: guys.. i don’t actually ship mori n rin LOL js a disclaimer bc ik (or im pretty sure) they like haven’t met in the actual series…? they’re more of a sub-plot like cece n tetsu bc i love side character lore! anyways back to the storyyy)

once yn was done freshening up, she joined coach ukai and mr. takeda on the bleachers to talk about the game. "the team is looking good," coach examined. he watched as the players went up against each other in a quick match. "i just don't know what to do about kozume and keiji." he rubbed the back of his neck, deep in thought as he analyzed the papers yn gave him last practice.

"what do you mean?" yn asked. she didn't recall writing anything weird about the two.

coach ukai shrugged. "maybe it's because i've known these kids since they were freshmen, but something just feels off between the two. i compared your notes from the beginning of the semester to last week, and there's a slight decline in their abilities."

yn furrowed her brows, taking the papers from coach ukai to see the difference herself. "a decline?" her eyes scanned the data and much to her surprise, he was right. kozume's agility went down by 2.5% and keiji's been struggling to successfully set the ball up for kou which puts the team at a big disadvantage since kou is normally always on the court and has the most trust in keiji to send him the ball.

(note again: idk what i js pulled out of my ass w this one >o< i don’t play volley but wtvr! :3)

"speaking of kozume and keiji, where are they?" mr. takeda piped up. tetsurou finished showering at the same time as yn and was currently talking to a few members, assumingly giving them tips for next week, but kozume was still nowhere to be seen. there couldn’t have been only one working shower right?

"bokuto!" coach ukai called out, "where's your setter?"

"uhh-" kou looked around, "not on the court, coach!"

keishin groaned. "well, obviously.."

"keiji is in the locker room, pretty sure.” kei answered instead. he heard the setter excuse himself to grab something in the locker room, but what would he need in there when they usually dropped their things off on the bleachers? the middle blocker shrugged it off, not caring too much about his upperclassman.

“uhm i think kozume is also still in there.” shoyou added. his eyes met yn’s, both of them starting to feel a bit uneasy after talking about the two last night. “do you want me to go grab them?” keishin sighed, motioning for shoyou to retrieve the two missing players.

as shoyou neared the red-painted metal doors, his ears picked up keiji’s voice. he sounded annoyed. really annoyed. “you can’t be seriously telling me you won’t leave yn alone, right? right? kozume c’mon,” keiji laughed in mockery, his voice was getting a bit louder, but not loud enough to reach the ears of the other people on the other side of the gym. “you’re just going to keep hurting her. she doesn’t deserve that. you don’t deserve her.”

“like you have any place to talk,” kozume barked back. though not as aggravated as keiji, kozume was firm with his words. “you made yn feel unimportant the whole time the two of you were in a relationship. you were the one who had an interest in her first, yet you barely took the time to show any effort. you couldn’t even go to one of the most important events in her life! she worked so hard, she always does, for the annual art exhibition, but you forgot about it.”

“i had an important meeting that day-” keiji tried to reason.

kozume only scoffed. “oh please.”

“okay. fine.” shoyou could hear heavy footsteps. keiji was corning kozume into the lockers. he pressed an accusing finger against his chest. “missing the art exhibition was a dick move, but am i the one who’s going for their friend’s ex? am i the one who would publicly reject yn, yet give her mixed signals behind closed doors, continuously confusing her and manipulating her feelings? am i the one who can’t make up his mind, slowly declining yn’s mental and emotional well-being? no, kozume, i’m not. you are. know your place. yn doesn’t need you.”

it was quiet for a few seconds before shoyou could hear keiji’s footsteps walking toward the door he was pressing his ear against. in a quick panic, the ginger hid behind a nearby scoreboard until he saw keiji far enough to where he wouldn’t see the worried sophomore slip into the locker room.

“kozume!” shoyou cried out. the blond was in a fetal position on the floor against the lockers. he rocked back and forth, the frantic movement almost causing him to hit his head against the hard metal. his breathing was short and unstable, almost like he was choking. it was even more difficult to breathe due to his strained cries. the state of his close friend made shoyou sick to his stomach, his body trembled, not knowing what to do. “what- whats happening?!” he tried to prevent kozume from accidentally injuring himself, but once his hand made contact with kozume’s shoulder, the blond slapped his hand away.

“don’t touch me!” he cried out. his eyes grew in panic, everything around him was overwhelming him past his limit.

shoyou fell back at the sudden impact, “kozume-”

“i’m sorry,” kozume dug his head back into his arms. “i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry-” he repeated the same words over and over again, each apology more desperate than the last. ‘i hit shoyou? why did i hit shoyou?’ “i didn’t mean it- i didn’t i-” his voice was restless, saying the same thing over and over as his mind grew louder by the second. ‘i hurt shoyou. i hurt yn. i can’t stop. i don’t know what to do. i can’t stop. it hurts. everything hurts. i hurt yn. my heart wont shut up. it’s so loud. everything is so loud. please shut up. please shut up. shut up. shut up. shut up-’

“kozume i don’t know what to do!” shoyou sobbed. the situation was getting to much for him, he needed to call someone for help. “i’m going to get yn, she’ll know what to do-”

“SHUT UP.” shoyou stopped in his tracks, body cold at the sudden yell. kozume’s head jerked up at his own words, disbelief written across his face. was he the one who yelled that? “please don’t get yn. please- shoyou please.” he was tirelessly begging. tears constructing his vision enough to not even know if shoyou was opening the door or not. “please. please don’t call yn. i don’t- she can’t know. please. i’m sorry i yelled. i’m sorry- just. just- don’t move.”

shoyou slowly removed his hand from the door handle. his movements were slow, scared that he might suddenly alarm kozume again. he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing long and slow to calm his nerves so that he could at least provide some sort of ease to kozume. “okay…” he whispered, slowly opening his eyes. shoyou bent down to kozume’s level, leaving a foot of space between them as he tried to calm the blond’s nerves as he just did his own. “it’s okay koz. it’s okay.” continuing the breathing exercise he was previously doing, shoyou used his hands to motion each inhale, each hold of breath, and each exhale.

“i’m sorry.” kozume murmured, unable to meet shoyou’s gaze. he was slowly regaining stable breathing, the pain in his chest diminishing.

“don’t apologize!” shoyou scolded. “i’m the one who should say sorry, kozume.” the ginger choked back his tears, refraining from overwhelming his friend. “i didn’t know what to do and i couldn’t help you..”

kozume shook his head, “you did help, sho. thank you.” a small smile graced his features, reassuring his friend.

the two sat in silence for a few minutes until shoyou decided to let his curiosity flow free. “kozume, can i ask you something?” the blonde nodded. “what's happening between you and keiji? and why can’t yn know about this? why are you hiding it from her?”

kozume let out a weak laugh. “that’s more than just a something.”

“sorry, i just don’t get it!” shoyou whined. “yn likes you, a lot, and i thought you really like yn too. so why are u letting keiji get in the way and talk you down like that? why are you so afraid of letting yourself be happy?”

the familiar question rang through kozume’s mind. a previous conversation from tetsurou suddenly resurfacing.

“are you afraid of letting yourself be happy or something? look, i’m not saying you should’ve prevented keiji from asking yn out, but you’ve liked my sister since what? the second grade? and you just let some new guy sweep her off her feet? that’s just crazy, man! i know for a fact that he could never have the same connection you and her have, trust me, i’m like psychic or something. i know you’re the better person–- the only person, actually, for yn.”

“it’s not that…” kozume groaned. “i’m afraid that…if yn and i do become something more than what we are now, i’ll disappoint her more than i already do. what if, once we start dating, she realizes she doesn’t actually like me?”

shoyou frowned. keiji’s words were dug deep into kozume’s heart. nothing he could say, no amount of reassurance could ever directly change kozume’s mindset. it needed to come from her–

knock. knock. knock.

“sho? kozume? are you guys okay? i- uhm we’re getting worried…you two have been in there for a long time, is everything okay?”

there she was. the only person who could dissolve all of keiji’s cruel words from kozume’s distraught soul.

“sorry, we’ll be out in a sec, nn!” shoyou called out. he reached a hand out for kozume to take. “are you okay to go outside?”

the blonde took a deep breath. “we have a game next week, don’t we?” he placed his hand on shoyou’s, pulling himself up.

the two opened the door to reveal yn’s big doe eyes brimming with concern. “what happened? did you lose your towel? was the water too cold?” she enveloped kozume’s hands into her own, feeling the difference in temperature. “if you didn’t have any warm water, you should’ve told us! taking a cold shower after being soaked in the rain isn’t good for you!”

“hey!” coach ukai irked, already frustrated that kozume would only have less than an hour to practice. “stop feeling the boy up and let him get his ass to work!”

yn’s eye twitched at the suggestive assumption. she quipped her head at keishin and flipped him off. “shut up, old man!”

part 30 sassy man apocalypse <- | masterlist | -> part 32 nipples in a twist

note(s): hnnghghghgrfijwfmgh next part is a text msg part

✩⡱ taglist !! + @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sherryuki-callmeyuki @anny-bah @ast4rg1rl @sukunasrealgf @dani-shitting-around @whokillednyx @vernon-dursley @limaswife @sugawara-levi @sixxze @ryoiii @literally-a-ferret @444sunarin @llearlert @lloyd4x @usermins @2baddies-1porsche @vernon-dursley @lyzisbitchingagain @h3xi2g0n3 @l0v3do11 lmk if u want to be added (msg or inbox)ヾ(･ω･`；)ﾉ

#🐈.thanksalotcupid #kozume kenma #kenma kozume #kozume kenma x reader #kozume kenma x fem!reader #kenma kozume x reader #kenma kozume x fem!reader #kenma x reader #kozume x reader #smau #kenma smau #haikyuu #haikyuu smau #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! smau

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disciple-of-owen · 10 months

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The Southern Raiders: Some Thoughts

Ah, The Southern Raiders: that pivotal episode in which Zuko and Katara bury the hatchet, allowing our favorite Fire Prince to finally become a full-fledged Gaangster. Fans have expressed wildly different takes regarding this episode over the years, so I thought I’d toss in my two cents.

An important disclaimer before beginning: I am NOT anti-Zuko, and it is not my intention for this to be an anti-Zuko post. Having said that, I think it’s important to accept that Zuko’s redemption, magnificent as it is, does not expunge his character of defects. He remains a flawed person to the end of series, and I think much of his behavior in this particular episode is deserving of criticism.

Anyway, let’s start with the moment when Zuko announces to the Gaang that he and Katara are planning to track down her mother’s killer. Anything in quotes is from the show’s transcript, which belongs to Bryke, Nickelodeon, Paramount, and whoever the hell else has their hooks in Avatar at this point.

Aang: “Um… and what exactly do you think this is going to accomplish?”

An important thing to note here: Aang is not starting this conversation with an ‘I’ statement (I think, I feel, etc.). Instead, he is keeping the focus on Katara by asking her to elaborate on her thought process.

Katara: “Ugh. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

A bit harsh, but Katara is experiencing a huge amount of emotional pain with the reopening of this wound. She is in no mood to be questioned (which is not to say that she shouldn’t be questioned) and that is valid.

Aang: “Wait, stop! I do understand. You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?”

Of all the moments that anti-Aang people disingenuously twist out of context, this is one of the most common. These individuals claim that Aang is belittling and dismissing Katara’s feelings by comparing the loss of her mother to the loss of Appa. This is a braindead take for three reasons:

Aang’s rage at the sandbenders wasn’t just about ‘losing Appa’. It was about being the sole survivor of a horrific genocide and losing the last piece he had of his people.

He puts Katara’s pain on the same level as the pain he feels regarding said genocide. If that isn’t taking her feelings seriously, I don’t know what the fuck is.

The whole reason he is making this comparison is not to determine whose trauma is greater, but to establish that he and Katara have common emotional ground upon which they can build a dialogue.

Zuko: “She needs this, Aang. This is about closure and justice.”

Frankly, I think it’s a bit audacious of Zuko to claim he knows what Katara needs when he’s been on normal speaking terms with her for a total of, what, 30 minutes? Still, I believe his heart is in the right place here.

Aang: “I don’t think so. I think it’s about getting revenge.”

And now, Aang voices his concern. Given how well Aang knows Katara, coupled with Zuko’s use of the word ‘justice’ regarding her mother’s killer, it is not at all unreasonable for him to assume that violent revenge might be on the cards. Katara immediately validates this assumption.

Katara: “Fine, maybe it is! Maybe that’s what I need! Maybe that’s what he deserves!”

I actually love this line; it’s not often that heroes in YA fantasies get to shed all pretense of morality and openly admit that base revenge is what they’re after. It makes Katara intensely believable in this episode.

Aang: “Katara, you sound like Jet.”

Aang reminds us of a vital lesson here: while it’s important to support your friends, it’s equally important to challenge them when you see them going down a potentially self-destructive path. That is what separates being a ride-or-die from being an enabler.

Katara: “It’s not the same! Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he’s a monster.”

Every word here is true, but the Gaang didn’t encounter Jet until he was many years into his unique brand of ‘freedom fighting’. Who’s to say he didn’t start out with Katara’s reasoning? Sokka seems to be thinking along these lines…

Sokka: “Katara, she was my mother too, but I think Aang might be right.”

Katara: “Then you didn’t love her the way I did!”

I have mixed feelings about this line. On the one hand, Katara is a child who has undergone immense trauma, and she has every right to express that. On the other, having trauma does not give you license to be cruel to others. There aren’t any easy answers here, which, again, is what makes Katara’s character especially fascinating in this episode.

Sokka: “Katara!”

Aang: “The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself.”

Some might say this line is a bit preachy. Myself, I think Aang is speaking the way the monks taught him to in moments of conflict. Metaphors can be powerful tools for conveying meaning when regular words aren’t cutting through.

Zuko: “That’s cute, but this isn’t Air Temple pre-school. It’s the real world.”

And here we have a deeply problematic comment from Zuko.

Now before the torches and pitchforks come out, let me clarify: I do not think Zuko is an active bigot. At all. It is indisputable, however, that he was brought up in a racist, imperialist society. Let’s take a closer look at what he says here:

“That’s cute, but this isn’t Air Temple pre-school.” What we have here is an example of infantilization; Zuko is essentially calling one of the pillars of Air Nomad culture childish nonsense.

“It’s the real world.” Implying that the Air Nomads’ worldview is simple-minded and incompatible with the world as it is.

Now let’s compare Zuko’s words to what Ozai says to Aang in their final struggle.

Ozai: “You are weak! Just like the rest of your people! They did not deserve to exist in this world!”

“That’s cute,”

“You are weak!”

“It’s the real world.”

“They did not deserve to exist in this world!”

I repeat, I don’t think Zuko is being consciously racist here, and I am certainly not comparing him as a person to his father. What I AM saying is that both Zuko and Ozai were raised on the same diet of Fire Nation propaganda, and that this propaganda still colours Zuko’s worldview to some extent.

Katara: “Now that I know he’s out there… now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice.”

Katara is effectively and honestly communicating her feelings here.

Aang: “Katara, you do have a choice: forgiveness.”

And Aang is seriously engaging with those feelings. Note: he isn��t saying that Katara has to forgive (he is perfectly content with her decision not to forgive Yon Rha at the episode’s conclusion); he is simply pointing out that she does, in fact, have a choice.

Zuko: “That’s the same as doing nothing!”

Not gonna lie, not a fan of Zuko in this moment. And if we ever needed proof that Aang is the more emotionally mature of the two, it comes with the next line.

Aang: “No, it isn’t. It’s easy to do nothing… but it’s hard to forgive.”

Some excellent wisdom, spoken from a place of experience.

Katara: “It’s not just hard. It’s impossible.”

Again, Katara expressing her truth. Again, totally valid.

I’m gonna skip ahead just a bit to when Aang and Sokka find Zuko and Katara preparing to steal Appa, as this is an important moment.

Katara: “Don’t try to stop us.”

Aang: “I wasn’t planning to. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. But when you do, please don’t choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.”

Aang has expressed his concerns, but he has also listened to Katara and recognizes that this is something she needs to do. He provides the use of Appa and offers some final words of wisdom, which have a huge impact on Katara later in the episode.

Zuko: “Okay, we’ll be sure to do that, guru goody-goody.”

Wow. Just… wow.

Katara: “Thank you for understanding.”

We all know how the story goes from here: Katara and Zuko go on their quest, Katara continues to spiral into darkness, and when the big moment finally comes, she chooses not to lower herself to Yon Rha’s level.

So, to conclude:

Thoughts on Katara: People should give Katara a break. Sure, she’s kind of a jerk in this episode, but she is also 14(15?) and dealing with a lot. We can be critical of some of the specific language she uses, but we shouldn’t be critical of her expressing her trauma.

Another point worth noting: while Aang’s advice does play a role in Katara’s ultimate decision not to murder Yon Rha (as per Bryke’s own words), she isn’t just blindly following his recommendations. She spares her mother’s killer, but she does it on her own terms. Which is excellent.

Thoughts on Zuko: As mentioned previously, I do think Zuko’s desire to help Katara in this episode is genuine. Having said that, I also think his judgement is being clouded both by his projected feelings towards Ozai (his own Yon Rha) and a desire to get what he wants (in this case, Katara’s approval). If Katara’s well-being were truly his ultimate motivator, I don’t believe he would have been so dismissive of Aang’s concerns.

Though, to his credit, Zuko does acknowledge in the end that Aang had been right all along.

Thoughts on Aang: In the DVD commentary for this episode, the creators talk about how, in many ways, The Southern Raiders is actually a story about Aang and Katara; that Aang’s words are present with Katara throughout the episode as her shoulder angel, not judging her or telling her what to do, but helping her find her way through the darkness. This is a beautiful (yet realistically imperfect) moment in their relationship, and I am here for it.

#avatar the last airbender #katara #zuko #aang #kataang

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good-beans · 3 months

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HI @rainbowghostcat and @boxx-sama -- I have been enabled so I'm here to ramble a bit about my faves >:3 Top three are definitely Fuuta, Mahiru, and Yuno! Good taste gang !!🤝✨✨✨

It's a mix of enjoying their songs, genuinely getting into their stories, and relating to them just enough to go a little crazy asdfsd :') Shidou comes in at a close 4th, I love him a lot but I'm not as insane as I am about these guys lmao.

I was holding onto these asks to ramble when I had the time/energy but uuuuhhh I didn't mean to go on for so long sorry 😭 Woe, 03 06 02 thoughts be upon ye...

Starting with Fuuta!! His character has everything – He’s cool, he’s lame, he’s terrifying, he’s tragic, he’s funny, he’s unbearably real, he’s my silly little guy, he makes me cry, etc. The core of his character that always gets me is how normal he is. How he’s probably closest to the majority of the audience – he (and Kazui) are the only ones who did not have murder on their mind at all. He anticipated harm, but the thought of someone dying never once crossed his mind. He’s right around teens/early twenties. He engages with the online world a lot. So many milgram fans are in that age range, on the internet a lot (in order to enjoy the project and its fanbase), feel a strong sense of justice (since they’re so engaged in a project about morality), and aren’t in any situation dramatic enough that they expect anyone to die. He’s so much like all of us.

Continuing on that, his heart really is in the right place to start. He cares deeply about people and society, which is why he wants to fix it. His vision is a bit small, focusing on petty issues rather than huge social issues, but the point is he cares. He attacks Es because he’s trying to be the brave representative after hearing Haruka and Yuno were attacked. He yells at Kazui and Mahiru because they’re not helping the others. He takes care of Haruka. He gives Mahiru a birthday gift even when he has nothing to give.

His biggest issue is, he doesn’t belong. I’ve written up a whole analysis on how he’s written very neurodivergent: he misses social cues, he’s on the outskirts of friendships and groups. It’s more clear in characters like Haruka and Muu, but Fuuta is just as incredibly desperate for attention. For love. For that feeling of belonging in a group. His knightly fantasies aren’t ones of violence and weapons – they’re mostly scenes of him surrounded by a close-knit party of adventurers who are cheering him on.

All of this together is what makes him so compelling and so tragic to me. All the characters are human and real, but he’s the closest to a lot of viewers (myself included). He let the attention get to his head for just a bit too long, let himself get swept away in finally having friends. He got distracted thinking that the focus of being a hero was defeating, and not protecting. And all it took was a brief time of getting drunk on this attention, and now he has a little girl’s blood on his hands. It makes me absolutely insane.

I also think he’s such a cool special case because he truly got a taste of his own medicine. The other characters are being judged in an unfamiliar way, but he is being scrutinized in the Exact same way that Fuuta pried open others’ privacy. He was attacked and almost died because of Es’ judgment, just as his victim was attacked because of his judgment. The process of Milgram is putting him in his victim’s shoes, and it’s so cool to see.

Aaaaand on a lighter note – he’s just so fun!! He’s my little skrunkly fr!!! I love his shit-eating grin. I love his ridiculous laugh. I love his crooked teeth. I love the knight theme, and the fire symbolism. It’s pretty standard, but it suits him perfectly. He’s got such cool, badass songs! I’m obsessed with his voice, both his singing and vd performances are incredible. His vds are the only ones I’ll listen to often and out of the blue – Arthur Lounsbery uses such an interesting and fun voice for him ;--; His design is so fun (apparently I have a Type for redhead characters…), and his t2 development and design were amazing! There has been no other Milgram character that I want to reach through the screen and shake violently by the shoulders and also hug so badly 😂

I’m so obsessed with her theme of ‘being so kind that it causes harm’!! Because it’s very easy to dismiss the other characters as unforgivable when you look at the harm they wanted to cause their victim, or disregard they had for their victim’s feelings. But Mahiru… she doesn’t want to cause any harm. At all. She took her boyfriend’s feelings into consideration so much so that she didn’t stop him when she definitely should have. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body and yet she fucked up big time!! It’s such a unique type of murder!! The other characters need to be sat down and told “don’t hurt innocents, don’t seek revenge, don’t be selfish, etc” and then Mahiru is over here like “don’t be… nice to people.” Because it’s not about being nice per se – it’s about not being a doormat.

(I know her story is still a bit mysterious – my running theory is that her bf had health issues completely separate from their relationship. They started getting bad and he started to consider suicide. Instead of stopping him, Mahiru combined her need to copy her lover (as seen a lot in TIHTBILWY), her ideas that lovers do everything together, and her belief that one should do anything they set their mind to (as seen in her comments about Es/Kotoko and the attack). She says she’ll join him, make it a lovers’ suicide, but doesn’t follow through at the last second.)

She (and Mikoto) have really interesting themes of how not caring for yourself can actually hurt others. They put all their efforts into giving back to others, to society, fitting into the norms and expectations, not questioning others, and it backfires catastrophically. If she had stood up for herself and her relationship, she would not have assumed anyone deserved to die. She would have known that it wasn’t up to her alone to deal with her bf’s mental issues. She obviously wasn’t handling it correctly (rats….) but she didn’t need to! She should have pointed him to professionals instead of deciding she deserved to die along with him! But she was so poisoned by society’s expectations of being the perfect girlfriend and being considerate of others…

She’s just such a tragic case because the power of love is supposed to be perfect. She’s been taught her whole life that it’s wonderful and magical and pure. Who can kill with the power of love, after all? I can completely understand her denial of the situation, because I also wouldn’t picture a terrifying, dark scene if I knew I was only being nice for my whole life!

And her crime aside – she’s super fun :3 She has The Most Fun songs, she’s full of energy and excitement and enthusiasm! (out of the various english covers I like, hers is the one I jam out to most often hehe). She’s the most stunning character there! I’m a sucker for sunshine-coded characters 🌻🌻🌻I think she has the best symbols out of everyone, between the birdcage and the carousel. The fact that both Mahiru and her bf could be the bird and the cage. The two symbols representing beautiful things that can be trapping. Representing cycles. Representing relationships. I know the hourglass is a popular one but I think this is Yamanaka's finest set of symbols. I am unwell about it. So yeah, rather than give her a good shake I want to yank her right out of there – Get in loser we’re gonna get you some self-love!!!!

And a slightly shorter rant on Yuno because that was a lot adfsdf. Ad I'm aware of the irony that one of my points is that it kinda sucks how most rants on Yuno are cut short :( The thing is, she’s been very honest about her crime, and most people have considered her issue in a context outside of Milgram so they already have a pretty good idea on where their vote stands. Despite being the “obvious” innocent one, she really is the most emotionally charged character imo. It’s easy to relate to the other characters and feel knee-jerk reaction, but none have been so widely discussed as abortion and sex work. I can talk openly about everyone else and get into a nice discussion on morals and emotions, but Yuno is the one character I have to talk very, very carefully around. Whether I’m rambling about Milgram to my family or interacting with new fans, I never know what’s acceptable to say without falling into a whole debate on politics.

So, if it’s made me into someone who keeps quiet and skirts around things, I shudder to imagine the amount of lying/masking Yuno herself must do on a daily basis. I can easily avoid the topic if I choose to – she was dealing with that debate long before coming to Milgram, and is currently dealing with debates and judgements and insults and pity surrounding it. She’s naturally strong so I think fans often forget all the shit that this 18yo is dealing with on a daily basis, and how effortless she’s making it look <3

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #❤️🧡🩷#LMAO SORRY #im just yellin about some of my favorite things -- feel free to yell back! (or completely ignore me asdfsdfs)#thank you tsumi for the dividers!#and the base for that phone meme was going around but lmk if you want it and i can link it #ask #rose posts

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the-badger-mole · 3 months

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Shipper Tag Game

Tagged By @kila09

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

I wouldn't say I don't care anymore, I just haven't been inspired by them in a while, but definitely Inu/Kag. They were not my first ship, but they were the first ship I wrote for.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Serena/Darien from the Sailor Moon US dub.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Inu/Kag. And no...you can't read it.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

Inu/Kag. it was drawn by my friend

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Ha! I am the discourse....yes. I do.

6. Did you used to have a NOTP or have it currently?

Kataang and Sess/Rin. The full body cringe I get when I think of either of them...

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Zutara

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

Zutara, forever and ever. Usa/Mamo (now that I've seen the original Japanese version), Inu/Kag

9. Is there any couple, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Zutara. They are my only OTP that isn't canon, but they should have been. Hayley and Andy from Modern Family is next. I'm honestly not happy at how they handled Hayley's arc in general. The writers were so cruel to her! I'm still not over it, and I'm mulling over a fix-it fic for her (one-shot probably). Ichabbie (Ichabod Crane and Abbie Mills) are in third place, but a very distant third. I lost all respect for Sleepy Hollow after how they treated both Abbie the character and Nichole Beharie the actress.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

...no. Not really. I mean, I guess you could count CaptainSwan from OUAT, but that's less I didn't like the ship and more I wanted to get rid of Emma so EYE could have Hook.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now would be canceled over?

I mean...probably? I can't think of any right now. I only have a handful of ships that I care enough about to talk about, and most of them don't appear on my blog, so...🤷🏾‍♀️

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

Mai/Aang (or Flying Dagger as I call them). I don't even really consider this a crack ship. Don't get me wrong, I see them being a disaster together, but not in a cracky sort of way. More of a reality show couple way.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

Zutara these days. It used to be more of an even split between my top 3 ships, but the fact that I get around to reading anything these days feels like an accomplishment.

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common?

Powerful women and the powerful men who would die protecting them. Also, powerful women and the powerful men who are their biggest cheerleaders

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

I mean...pick a trait from Kataang, and that's pretty much it. Hero gets the girl because he's the hero; the woman becomes the supportive background partner no matter how powerful and ambitious she was before she got with him; Man can't control his violent outburst without his partner's help. Kataang is the embodiment of everything I hate in a ship.

@soopersara @dhwty-writes @veggie-smoothie @vocalvixen20cp the floor is yours if you want it!

#atla #zutara #sailor moon #usa/mamo #inuyasha #inu/kag #haley x andy #modern family #sleepy hollow #ichabbie #anti kataang #flying dagger

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georgiedoodles · 19 days

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📚Broppy CollegeAU | "Campus Days"

Part 3: Safety First

CW/TW: This touches on the topic of violence against others. This does not include or directly affect the main characters. Thank you.

Author's note: I'm so sorry if the formatting got weird, I copied and pasted from Word and it got a little funky. Please forgive me. ಥ_ಥ

...

*ping!*

“Popville Crime Alert,

Report of Battery Case in Lot A

Earlier today, Popville Police and Campus Safety received a report from a female student that a male troll approached her while she was in Parking Lot A and threatened her with an unknown sharp object. She kicked him and fled. The incident occurred at about 8 AM on Tuesday, September 3rd, 202X. It was reported to the college a few hours later at about 11 AM. The Popville Police Department is investigating the incident.

Suspect Description

The suspect is described as a male troll, purple skin, teal ombre hair, standing at 5’7 feet tall, wearing a black hoodie and yellow yoga pants. This suspect description appears to be different from other recent cases.

IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING.”

Branch was walking from Parking Lot A when he read the crime alert email. He froze, frantically looking around his environment, looking for something, for someone specific. ‘This happened today?? In this exact parking lot??’ Quickly, he made haste and arrived at his class 20 minutes early, dropping off all his belongings at his station, only bringing his phone and mace.

He ran down the hallway, stopping at the edge of the quad. To his left is parking lot A, normally where all the students park to attend their art classes. To his right past the library, is parking lot B, where most STEM students park for their classes. The question is, where do Poppy and her sister normally park? Branch had no choice but to wait, and like a hawk, was scouting around for a familiar figure. From a distance, he can see a distinct pink troll, making her way from parking lot A. Without another thought, Branch’s feet were moving on their own, quickly closing the distance between them.

On the opposite side, Poppy is simply enjoying some bouncy tunes in her earbuds, she sees a troll sprinting at full speed towards her. ‘That guy kinda looks like Branch.’ She thought to herself.

…

Wait why is Branch running?

Branch’s sprint slows as he gets closer to Poppy, his feet stomping on the ground before he comes to a complete halt in front of her. Slightly out of breath, he holds Poppy by the shoulders, checking frantically around her and them to see if there were any suspicious trolls nearby.

“G’morning Branch!” Poppy said with a confused but happy expression, she follows Branch’s eyes, slowly taking off her earbuds. “Is something the matter?” A worried expression creeps in as she sees the panic looks in her friend’s eyes.

Branch, temporarily feeling relieved, looks back at the troll in front of him. He realizes that he’s still death gripping her shoulders and quickly removes them, wiping his hands on the sides of his pants, blushing.

“Oh, sorry, I just got worried about… your safety since there was an email sent from the college.” He looks around to avoid having direct eye contact with Poppy, clearing his throat to seem normal. “I wanted to walk you from your ride but then I realized I don’t know where you and your sister park.” Branch shrugs and looks into Poppy’s eyes; she’s smiling and has a look of awe.

“Oh Branch, that’s so sweet of you!” She gently caresses Branch’s shoulders, slowly sliding her way down his arms and into his hands, holding them gently. Her eyes followed her hand movement before she looked back up at him. “It’s very thoughtful of you, although, I haven’t checked my email yet. Regardless I’m pretty grateful that you want to keep me safe.” She gives his hands a gentle squeeze, emphasizing her words to hopefully ease his worries.

Branch, flustered and blushing harder than before, feels a tingle travel up his spine, giving him goosebumps from the gesture. He isn’t too fond of physical contact, but in this case, he seems to be okay with it. They both stared at each other before the silence got too tense for Poppy.

Branch realizes that the clock tower was ringing faintly in the distance, signaling the start of the next period. class was about to start in 5 minutes, “Oh shoot, we have to head to the lecture before they start without us!” Without thinking, he holds onto Poppy’s hand while he walks with her back to class, keeping an eye out for any suspicious activity.

Poppy realizes that they were heading to class, but that wasn’t what she had her attention. Instead, she was staring at her hand. The hand Branch was holding.

Branch was holding her hand.

He’s holding her hand.

Why was she getting this warm fuzzy feeling? Was she getting sick? She checked her temperature on her forehead with her free hand. Before she knew it, they were both at the door of their classroom, that’s when she felt the warmth of his hand fall from hers. The warm fuzzy feeling she felt had also faded away. She looked at the emptiness of her right hand, then to his left hand, her gaze traveling up to meet his eyes but only seeing the back of his head. Unknowingly, Branch was mentally kicking himself for holding her hand the whole way back.

Looking at Poppy from the side, he rubs his arm awkwardly “We’re here, and if you’d like I- “He hesitates, trying to find a way to ask her without seeming like a creep. He clears his throat, blinks, then quickly shakes his head, “I uh, never mind, I’m just glad you got to class safe and sound.” He rubs his arm and moves forward, holding the door open for Poppy to walk through first.

With a gush of refreshing air conditioning reminding her to focus, she smiles at Branch, “Thank you.” Her hand gently patted his shoulder, slowly sliding off, it’s as if her hand wanted to linger. Branch noticed this gesture, trying to figure out her intentions. He then waited until she was inside first before he closed the door behind them, following her to their shared art station.

Throughout class, Poppy’s mind traces back to the feeling she had earlier. When Branch held her hand, she felt warm and fuzzy. The moment he let go, that feeling had faded away. What was this sense of desire that she felt? She was facing her pallet, tracing her hand where Branch’s fingers touched, then she glanced up to her neighbor. She watched Branch, without his cardigan and in his work apron, filling up a part of the canvas with a solid color. She couldn’t help but notice how well built his arms were, and his hands-

‘SPRINKLES, POPPY GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! He’s your friend for crying out loud!!’ Poppy’s breath hitched as she snapped herself back to reality, only to realize that he was facing her, mixing another color of paint on his pallet. He had sensed that she was staring at him for a while and decided to make eye contact with her, surprising her.

“Is there something on my face…? Did I get paint on my face again?” Branch began wiping his cheek with a damp towelette, cleaning any potential stray paint blobs.

Poppy giggles. “No there’s nothing on your face, you’re fine.” Completely forgetting about her feelings before, she turns to face her canvas and continues to work until class ends.

The professor makes a comment about the email the college had released, despite a string of incidents happening to the girls targeted on campus, security will only escort students for the night classes. “If any of you need an escort or feel unsafe to walk to the car by yourself, we can walk to the parking lot together as a group, we’re safer in numbers.” With that, all the students turned to each other to create groups. Poppy had read the email during their break, a cold shiver traveled down her spine, keeping her on edge. She felt even more grateful for Branch and his protective nature that she witnessed this morning. Now that she thinks about it, what will she do when she goes to the library and waits for her sister to finish her last class? Would she need to find someone to walk with her...? She turns to her neighbor, thinking of a plan she can create to not be alone throughout the day.

Before Poppy could let out a word, Branch spoke up, “Poppy. If you’d like, would it be okay if I walked you to the library?” He was nervous asking; he was hoping that he wasn’t crossing a boundary or coming off as weird. With a quick breath, he continued, “Then, when your sister gets out of class I could walk the both of you to your car.” He was packing his paints neatly in a red tin box, organizing them by color order. He had a worried look on his face. “When does your sister get out of class?” He faced her, waiting for a response.

Poppy was relieved, she felt much more at ease knowing Branch with be there. She smiled and began, “My sister gets out at 3:30, I usually meet her at her class since it’s on the way to the parking lot.” A sense of unease creeps up on her person, she hugs herself to soothe her mind. “Funny enough I was going to ask if you could walk me to the library, it’s scary knowing these incidents are happening to the girls when they’re alone.” Her eyebrows furrowed at the idea.

Branch felt better knowing she was on the same page as him, he hesitated, then reached out to grab her hands. He wanted to make her feel safer just as she did for him in the morning, “I get out of class at 3:15, I can find you at the library and walk you to meet your sister. Then I can walk with the both of you back to your car, I’ll make sure you both get home safe.” With a gentle squeeze of her hand, they gave each other a reassuring smile. Once he lets go of her hand, they make their way out of the classroom and towards the library.

During the walk, there was a comfortable silence, they were listening to the birds chirping in the trees and admiring the sunrays peeking through the abundance of leaves hanging above them.

Branch drops off Poppy at the library, they wave a quick ‘see you soon’ and make their way to their destinations. Once Branch’s class ended, he made his way to Poppy, bringing her a water bottle that his professor was passing out. When the double doors opened, a brisk breeze greeted him, he loves that feeling whenever it happens. He makes his way through a crowd of new students, all of them studying or completing their homework for the day. It didn’t take long to find a pink-on-pink figure, sitting at a merged cubical, slumped over and asleep. Branch shook his head, he sort of expected this from her. Slowly, he sat on the opposite side of her cubicle, trying to figure out how to wake her up without scaring her.

He watched her shoulders, rising and falling in a smooth, slow, rhythmic motion. She clearly was attempting to do some work, but there was a splotch of drool on the page she left off on. He stifled his laugh, trying to stay quiet. Branch slowly slid from his seat and knelt next to Poppy, gently calling out her name.

“Poppy” … No response.

“Poppy” he said slightly louder. She grumbled something in her sleep, “Coconuts have water in them” she said with an amazed tone. This made Branch snort in response, “What is she dreaming about?” he grinned at the sight of her.

Again, Branch moved in closer and quietly spoke, “Poppy, you need to wake up, we need to get you to your sister.” This finally got Poppy to slowly open her eyes, lazily blinking, unknowingly staring at Branch. By the third blink, she realized that Branch was here, slowly sitting up “Is it 3:15 already?” she started stretching the sleep out of her body.

Branch reached from his bag and pulled out the cold-water bottle; he opened the cap and broke its seal. Then, he carefully held the water bottle in front of Poppy, waiting for her to take a sip. “Here, drink some, it’ll help hydrate you after all that drooling.” A faint sense of smugness was in his smile.

Poppy gladly grabbed the water, accidentally grazing Branch’s finger with her own, sending a wave of electricity through his hands. “Ohhhh, thank you so much, I feel so thirsty right now. That nap did a number on me.” She drank from the bottle and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Then Poppy collected her iPad, notebook, and bag from her cubicle. Branch stood and moved to the side, patiently waiting for her to lead the way outside.

The walk to her sister’s class was slightly nerve wrecking for the pair. Poppy was sticking close to Branch’s right side, clutching her bag strap with both hands, and taking quick, swift steps. Branch on the other hand was scanning their environment, looking for anyone getting too close for comfort or identifying the troll described in the email. During their journey, a male troll was riding on their electric scooter. He flew past Poppy from behind, this took her by surprise, and she yelped, grabbing a hold of Branch’s right arm. Poppy held on tight and never let go during the rest of their walk, leaving Branch distracted and blushing at the physical contact.

Soon, they made their way to the class Poppy needed to be waiting at, they had 5 minutes to burn before her sister was dismissed, so they opted to wait by the rails. The classroom was located at a 4-story brick building, they were on the 3rd floor, facing inside where the quad is. Despite the attacks, there were students bustling about around the quad, it provided peace of mind to know many were still out and about, this meant more eyes for any future events. Poppy hadn’t realized that she was still holding onto Branch’s arm, she felt a sense of security knowing he was there. Branch was still very much aware of her death grip on his arm, but he let it slide since Poppy seemed relaxed.

The couple, leaning against the rail, were enjoying the moment. The fresh breeze, the smell of the flowers nearby and the sound of large, lush trees swaying made the moment feel peaceful.

They were in their own little world. Together.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a heavy metal door opening, and many trolls were funneling out of the classroom. Poppy let go of Branch’s arm and ran into her sister’s arms, embracing for almost a minute. They both let go to look into each other’s eyes, “Viva! Did you read the email the school sent out??” They held hands with worried looks in their eyes, “Poppy, I read it after I walked into class! If I had known about it sooner, then I would’ve walked you to class before I went to mine.” Viva had a guilty expression, she felt like she was too careless about her own sister’s safety, she squeezed their hands tighter, scared at the thought of someone hurting her baby sister. “I’m so sorry, you had to walk by yourself- “

Poppy quickly cut off her sister, “Don’t worry. Branch found me while I was walking to class and escorted me to our lecture!” She waved her hand in front of her, brushing away any negative feelings that Viva felt, giving her a reassuring smile. After a few moments, Viva looked behind Poppy to see Branch, he was standing awkwardly and waiting for them to finish their conversation, he felt it was rude to interrupt their moment.

“Ohhhh, then who’s this?” Viva gestured to the bluish male troll. Poppy gasped excitedly, turning, and standing in between the two. She faced to her friend, “Okay so, Branch, this is my sister Viva!” She extended her arms towards her sister, Viva waved enthusiastically. “Viva, this is Branch, he’s my friend and classmate in my art class that I have on Tuesdays and Thursdays!” Poppy smiled widely, her teeth poking out as she waited for them to interact.

Viva gave her sister a smirk, she has many questions to ask when they’re back in the car. Turning to Branch, she quickly gave him a hug and started, “OMGEE, it’s so nice to finally meet you! Poppy has been talking a lot about you.” She blocks her mouth from Poppy’s field of view as she teased him. This comment made him blush and throw a quick glance at Poppy, ‘What does she mean by that??’, only to get a shrug for an answer.

Branch clears his throat and meekly says, “Well hi, it’s nice to meet you too.” He scoots away from Viva ever so slightly, giving himself some breathing room. “I offered Poppy to walk the both of you back to your car so that the two of you felt more at ease, traveling in numbers is safer than walking alone. Especially since the last one happened in a parking lot I use.” He gives a small smile, hoping that her sister didn’t find her weird.

Without hesitation, Viva gasps “OH! That sounds awesome, and you’re right, it’s safer to walk in larger groups. Safety first!” She gives a thumbs up and smiles brightly at Branch and Poppy,

“Alrighty, let’s go!” Poppy announces, taking the lead and guiding the group to the car. Branch and Viva walked side by side behind Poppy, listening to her begin to sing.

“Following the leader, the leader, the leader~” Marching to each beat, swaying her arms to the rhythm. “We’re following the leader, wherever she may go~” Branch and Viva tuned her out as she kept singing the same chorus repeatedly, playfully rolling their eyes at each other at her goofy antics.

Soon enough, they make it to their car. It’s a pale-yellow Volkswagen beetle, decorated on the inside were sunflowers and poppies made of paper, clearly symbolizing the sisters. Viva thanks Branch as she sits in the driver’s seat, starting the car. Poppy turns to Branch and pulls him into a tight hug, gently whispering “Thank you for helping us and keeping us company, I would’ve been terrified if I was alone.” A gloomy tone took over her cheery spirit, as if she had something else on her mind. She parted from the hug and gave him a warm smile, “I’ll see you again on Thursday.” She let her hands slowly slide off his shoulders, got into the passenger seat, and left the parking lot.

Previous Part | Next Part

#broppy #trolls branch #trolls poppy #trolls band together #trolls world tour #fanfic #content warning #trigger warning #college au

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