#capri sun squad

[ironicallypissedoff]

Icorect PJO/HOO quotes from this website :https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

Thalia: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

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Nico: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

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Percy: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

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Percy: Pros and cons of dating me. Percy: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Percy: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

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Grover: Yum, thanks!

Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.

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Nico: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens."

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Annabeth in TLT

Annabeth: *trying to buy a Father's Day card at Hallmark*

Annabeth: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?"

Associate: Well, I-

Annabeth: How about "You banged my mom?"

Associate: No...

Annabeth: You know what, I'll just get a blank one.

Annabeth: *writes* You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.

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Leo: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

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Nico: You can't wake up if you never get to sleep.

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Piper, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

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Hazel: War is heck!

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Jason: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

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Frank: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

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Will: Can we go to a haunted house?

Nico: What’s wrong with the one we live in?

Will: Wh-what?

Nico: Goodnight, Will.

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Percy: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby.

Annabeth: What baby?

Percy, crying a bit: Me.

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*The Squad is playing Chess*

Annabeth: *easily beats everyone because they know how to play*

Piper: *doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway*

Leo: *doesn’t know the rules, and loses*

Jason: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don’t*

Frank: Actually, you can’t do that, because I said so.

Percy: They named a board game after cheese?

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*when the Squad drops food*

Annabeth: Eh, oh well.

Piper: FIVE-SECOND RULE!

Nico: FUCK!

Jason: *just gets more food*

Percy: *drops to their knees and mourns the food*

Leo: *eats the food off the ground*

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Leo: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Hazel and Frank's convo?

Piper: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

Percy: I'm in the washing machine.

Nico: I'm in the closet.

Jason: We accept you Nico. <3

Nico: No I'm literally in the closet.

Jason: Love is love. <3

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Frank: Are you trying to give me a frickin’ aneurysm?

Percy: Pretty sure we all are.

Hazel: I wasn't.

Leo: I was.

Jason: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration.

Nico: I just cause aneurysms naturally.

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Annabeth: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Percy: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Annabeth: ...

Annabeth: You mean ring bearER, right?

Percy: ...

Annabeth: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

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Nico: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Will: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Nico: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Will: Is it working?

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BONUS MAGNUS CHASE

Mallory: Nothing in life is free.

Sam: Love is free.

T.J: Knowledge is free.

Alex: Friendship is free.

Halfborn: Self-respect is free.

Magnus: Everything's free if you don't pay for it.

The Squad: ...

T.J: Magnus, that's illegal-

Alex: No, let them finish!

sooooooo yep. Hope you enjoyed

#Pjo #Hoo #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #Percy Jackson #Annabeth Chase #Jason Grace #Piper Mclean #Leo Valdez #hazel levesque #frank zhang #mcga #Magnus Chase and the gods of asgard #Magnus Chase #alex fierro #Mallory keen #samirah al abbas #Thomas Jefferson Jr #halfborn gunderson

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 13

Crosshair: *sighs* Wrecker: You bored? Crosshair: Yeah. Wrecker: Wanna start drama for no reason? Crosshair: I thought you’d never ask.

Tech: Phee and I are no longer dating. Phee: Tech, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Omega: This is a safety pin. *cuts off end* Omega: It is now a danger pin.

Echo: *trying to get five seconds of sleep* Tech, poking Echo’s arm: Echo. Echo. Echo. Echo. Echo: WHAT? Tech: …We’re out of Capri Suns—

Hunter: I didn’t know that air fryers are a real thing. Used to think that they were made up by the internet as a funny joke and that their purpose was to “fry air”. Omega: WAIT, BUT IT FRIES THE AIR TO FRY THE FOOD?? Hunter: I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A KITCHEN APPLIANCE, MY FIRST ASSUMPTION WAS SOMETHING AKIN TO AN AIR CONDITIONER! Crosshair: IT’S NOT LIKE AN AIR CONDITIONER???? Tech: You guys clearly don’t own an air fryer.

Crosshair: If I say yes am I joining a cult? Tech: Possibly. Crosshair: I’m in.

*the Squad cleaning up* Tech: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away. Echo, to Crosshair: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

Wrecker: *hiding something in his coat* I think we should adopt another kid! Hunter: No. Wrecker: Why not? Hunter: Because when you say “kid”, you mean “cat”, and we already have fifteen of those. Wrecker: *unzips coat* Sixteen.

Tech: Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine? Hunter: Tech, what did you do? Tech: Take a guess.

Crosshair: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE. Echo: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds. Crosshair: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME— Echo: *sigh* What do you want? Crosshair: Chicken nuggets please.

Omega: Tech, what if there are monsters? Tech: Don’t worry, we’re top of the food chain. Much later… Omega, lying awake at night: I am the monster.

Omega: Wow, I really think I would’ve gotten along with young Crosshair! Crosshair: I know. That’s why I decided to change everything about my life.

Crosshair: *clicks pen* Tech: *clicks pen in response*  Hunter: Stop that. Crosshair: Stop what? Hunter: You’re talking about me in Morse code! Crosshair: Yes, that’s what we doing. In our very limited time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. Congrats, you figured us out! *later* Tech, to Echo: That’s actually exactly what we were doing.

Crosshair: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

Hunter: Can I stay with you tonight? Wrecker: Sure. What happened? Hunter: Well, Crosshair and I got into a fight, and now he's been watching “How to Get Away with Murder” ever since. Wrecker: … Hunter: … Wrecker: … Hunter: I don’t feel safe anymore. 

Wrecker: I want a bf. Tech: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

Echo: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it. Wrecker: …I was hungry.

Tech: *venting endlessly to Crosshair about his week* Crosshair, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

Crosshair: People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

Wrecker: No problemo! Wrecker, internally: But it was all problemo.

Crosshair: We’ll get back into there or die trying. Hunter: No one’s dying. Crosshair: Not with that attitude.

Omega, over radio: Testing. Testing. Tech, can you hear me? Tech, standing next to Omega: I’m standing right here. Omega: You’re coming through good and loud. Tech: ‘Cause I’m standing right here.

Hunter: Are you packed for the trip? Wrecker: Yup. Hunter: Then where are your bags? Wrecker: All I’m bringing is a good attitude and a sense of adventure. Hunter: A change of underwear might be nice.

Crosshair: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Crosshair: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

Crosshair: BE A BETTER PERSON! Hunter: WHY?! Crosshair: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS FAMILY, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

Crosshair: My life is a mess. Echo: Go get a beer. Crosshair: I don’t want a beer. Echo: Who said it was for you?

Omega: I believe in you, Tech! Tech, to himself: God, I must suck. The nicest thing Omega can think to say to me is that she doesn't doubt my existence.

Echo: Do you see yourself as a glass half-full or glass half-empty kind of person? Hunter: Half-full, definitely. Hunter: Half-full and constantly rising. Hunter: Soon the water will escape its container and consume us all.

Hunter: So we're gathered here today for a very special reason and I think you'll all agree with me here. Hunter: And if you don't well then fuck you. Hunter: I'm looking at you, Crosshair, you jealous mop.

Echo: working in a flower shop and minding his own business Crosshair, storming into the store and slapping $20 on the counter: HOW DO I PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY SAY “FUCK YOU” IN FLOWER???

Wrecker: Can I borrow five dollars? Echo: If you’re only borrowing it, does that mean you’ll pay me back? Wrecker: Of course. Wrecker: Not directly, but with my love and affection. Echo: So that’s a no.

Omega: Is Crosshair always like this when he loses? Tech: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 22 BBY. Crosshair: You bumped that table and you know it!

Crosshair: You don’t deserve me. Hunter: At your worst or your best? Tech: I don’t have a worst. Tech: Because you’re already at your worst?

*out grocery shopping* Wrecker: *takes a free sample twice* Wrecker: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.

Crosshair: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window. Wrecker ...We're on the ground floor. Crosshair: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

Omega: Okay, two person huddle. Echo: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.

Echo: Is he stupid? Crosshair: Yes, but he prefers to be called Hunter.

Wrecker: Can we get a birthday cake? Hunter: It’s not your birthday. Wrecker: The cake won’t know!

Echo: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

Echo: We all have our demons. Hunter, grabbing Crosshair: This one’s mine!

#tbb incorrect quotes #incorrect bad batch quotes #the bad batch #tbb #star wars #incorrect quotes #techphee

[localburntoutkid]

Percy Jackson being unhinged

Guys, all the trios from PJO to HoO were all js kids/teens taking the world on their shoulders, have their lives in mortal danger on a daily basis, and have experienced significant amounts of trauma, they're all surprisingly chill.

Percy: Don’t worry, I have a permit. Frank: …This just says “I can do what I want”.

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent. Leo: I choose to waive that right! Leo: screaming

Jason to Annabeth: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just… Leo: Cockroach ankles! Jason: Ye- uh, what?

Annabeth: watching the squad's shenanigans with concern Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand? Piper: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list. Percy, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Annabeth: This is a judgement free zone. Pulls out a knife the size of her forearm Annabeth: And I mean it.

Nico: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? Nico: A stab wound.

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #hazel levesque #nico di angelo #jason grace #frank zhang #heroes of olympus #the argo II

[syncopein3d]

Pain that can only be relieved by touch, pressure, weight. I don't mean sexually. I never mean that with whump, in fact. I mean, imagine a whumpee who has been worked so hard that every muscle is agony if they even think about moving. Massage is painful at first, but as the muscles warm and loosen the pain starts to gradually ease. Now they're desperate for it not to stop, where when it started they were gritting their teeth and stifling noises of pain.

Consider a space marine from Warhammer 40k's Deathwatch. (I know a lot of y'all whump friends prefer twinks to these inhuman genefreak monsters that I love, but imagine the marines as all drawn by the great Vezimira if that makes you see the vision.) The only way you can canonically get veterans from radically different chapters to work together seamlessly is to drive them to the point of collapse.

Space marines do not tire out easily, so we're talking days to weeks of training in armor without a pause, living off the recycling systems. By the time they're finally allowed to pause they practically have to carry each other back to quarters. A Salamander might have to literally carry an Ultramarine (Guilliman is a less physical guy as Primarchs go) or an OG Blood Angel (depending on where they are in their Red Thirst progression; they probably can't stop and slurp down a Serf Capri Sun during DW training). A Templar helps haul a literally unconscious Blackshield who's some kind of comparatively smaller purple-eyed albino from who knows what ancient chapter. He hates that, hates this weakness, but he will not shame his own chapter by letting the squad fail.

So at some point all of that is over, the tech-priests have taken the armor away to be serviced, and everyone has been slapped back to consciousness and been given a good talking to by the Templar veteran and a more surreptitious word of encouragement by the old Salamander. They all stumble through scrubbing down with scouring powder in the showers, and the Salamander, every scar of achievement twinging, can finally flop facedown onto the slab in his quarters. Maybe his branding priest or priestess is there, a trusted grandchild of a niece or nephew twice removed, not the first of his extended family to perform the office and already growing old in his service. He can hear them bustling around murmuring orders to the serfs. When the first pour of hot oil hits his back a heavy muscle twitches, startling the younger ones, but with a little encouragement they roll up their sleeves and dive in. Massaging ceremonial oil into an Astartes is no easy task, but now it is made easier by the limp exhaustion of the Son of Vulkan's muscles. At first they can see sinews pop out in his jaw and temple against the pain, because they've never had an unkind word from Milord the Astartes, and he's not about to start now. But as they go along his face slowly relaxes. The middle back between the shoulders proves a bit stubborn, and at a nod from the elderly branding priest, a bigger and younger serf climbs up to kneel on the Salamander's back so he can pound on it with his two fists bunched together. They all see the sigh of relief from the triple lungs, raising and lowering the young man in place.

On his night-black skin with its network of little red cracks, the older of the whorls of paler scarring are hard to read, faded with time. They'll have to be renewed one of these days, while the priest remembers what they were. But for now the space marine is at rest, breathing easier as a dozen little weights knead at his sore body.

The ones who serve the Templar veteran are probably going to need mallets, and if he thinks any one of them is trying to spare him he'll bat them across the room. They'll die, or they'll learn. The Blood Angel's serfs are pale and listless, and at least one definitely won't survive the night, but at least he'll be unfailingly gentle and courteous with the survivors. The son of Guilliman's serfs run like a well-oiled machine. He might mumble a mild reprimand if he notices anything isn't precisely according to routine, but he's not a harsh man, only a very meticulous one.

The Blackshield has no one who is particularly his servant. They serve the Deathwatch. They handle him carefully enough, aware of how temperamental some Astartes are, but not with any affection or reverence. He wouldn't be a Blackshield, chapterless, brotherless, if he was not dishonored in some way. In the end, there will be a pile of serfs sleeping on rugs around the base of the Salamander's slab. The Blackshield will be alone.

#whump #whumpblr #whumphammer #warhammer 40k whump #warhammer 40000 whump #exhaustion whump #military whump #syncopein3d future reference

[shepherds-of-haven]

Incorrect quotes generator results:

Croelle: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

Trouble: Hello friends! The Squad: Trouble: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling

Shery to Blade: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

Chase, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Shery: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany! Shery, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Red, as a child, reading his school assignment out loud: I love my library because… Red, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

Blade: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Blade: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

Croelle: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap… have fun figuring out which one.

(THESE ARE SO ACCURATE WHAT-)

😂

#Shepherds of Haven #incorrect quotes #NOT THE SHERY TO BLADE QUOTE LFRJGJRLGJ

[mysteryofvampires]

Heirs of the night incorrect quotes:

Because I miss them so much. (Warning: this is long and I have many more for a part two if anybody's interested :)

Fanny: I am the most responsible person in the group.

Nicu: ...You just set the kitchen on fire?

Fanny: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.

Fanny: Did you buy eggs like I asked?

Tammo: Even better.

Fanny: What the fuck did you-

Tammo: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy!

Alisa: What are you drinking?

Ivy: Vodka.

Alisa: Straight?

Ivy: No, gay. Why?

Nicu: Working sucks.

Nicu: I want to be a malewife where my only responsibilities are being sexy and cute.

Luciano: You have crayons?

Lars: Yes I have-

Luciano: You're-How old are you?

Lars: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS! I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV, BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS!

Lars, holding a toy lightsaber: I'm Darth Vader!

Alisa: I'm done with everyone's bullshit.

Malcolm: Everybody calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults.

Luciano: So we're just going to wing it and hope for the best?

Malcolm: Obviously. Now Fanny pass the shovel!

Lars: I don't need to get to bed. I'm not tired. I'll be fine.

Alisa: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Lars: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Alisa: Is it working?

Luciano: Think you can unlock the door for us?

Fanny: Sure. I just need a few things. Ivy, can I have your creditcard?

Ivy: Sure, just make sure not to bend it.

Fanny: Thanks. Now, Malcolm, break down the door.

Ivy: Huh?!

Tammo: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.

Seamour: But are you shuffling?

Tammo: Everyday.

Ivy: What language are you two speaking?!

Nicu: If you took a shot for every time you made a dumb decision, how drunk would you be?

Seamour: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Ivy: Drunk.

Fanny: Wasted.

Lars: Dead.

Ivy: Good morning!

Nicu: Bold statement.

Joanne, opening a capri sun: Guess I'll drink my problems away...

Lars: *Is throwing stones at Alisa's window*

Alisa: You have a phone for a reason, Lars!

*THUD*

Alisa: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!

(Romeo and Juliette gone wrong, lol)

Alisa: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY!

Nicu: Then were are Norwegian people from?!

Inger: Norway!

Alisa: Are you drinking enough water?

Malcolm: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

*somewherebin the future*

Someone: So, how many children do you have?

Anna: Biologically, legally or emotianally? Because there is a difference...

Alisa: Come on Malcolm. Nobody actually believes that Lars is in love with me.

Malcolm, turning to the squad: Raise your hand if you think that Lars is helplessy in love with Alisa.

*Everyone raises their hand*

Alisa: Lars, put your hand down!

Joanne: How is spring not everyone's favourite season? The trees are PINK guys!

Inger: Allergies are also a problem y'know.

Joanne: But pink.

Luciano: And it's hot.

Joanne: PINK!

#heirs of the night incorrect quotes #heirs of the night #hotn #lars af dracas #alisa von vamalia #ivy of lycana #seamour of lycana #tammo von vamalia #joanne de pyras #luciano di nosferas #fanny af dracas #inger of dracas #nicu #anna von vamalia

[theangelwithawand]

Shakespeare Incorrect Quotes: Much Ado About Nothing 4

Benedick : Am I right, Beatrice?

Beatrice: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

Hero: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.

Hero, gesturing to Beatrice and Benedick fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!

Friar Francis: *watching the squad's shenanigans with concern* Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand?

Imogen: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.

Benedick: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

Benedick: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?

Beatrice: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

Hero: While I'm gone, you're in charge Claudio.

Claudio: Yes!

Hero, whispering to Beatrice: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want them to feel bad.

Beatrice: Obviously.

Beatrice: What do I get?

Benedick: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Beatrice: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Benedick: It won't be you.

Beatrice: I'll get my coat.

Hero, pointing a camera at Beatrice: There they are, our sweet baby.

Beatrice, holding a cigarette and a beer: What-?

Beatrice: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.

Claudio: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Beatrice: And you came to me?

Claudio: Hero, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Hero: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.

Claudio: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Benedick.

Hero: Wait- Claudio, no-

*At the police station*

Beatrice: Hi, I’m here for Benedick.

Police officer: Who’s Benedick?

Beatrice: Ah, you must be new.

Beatrice: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Hero: But we lost Claudio.

Beatrice: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

Beatrice, to Claudio: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Hero: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Claudio: Mine just says "Claudio no."

Hero: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Beatrice: I didn't drink that much last night.

Hero: You were flirting with Benedick.

Beatrice: So what? They're my partner.

Hero: You asked if they were single.

Hero: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

Claudio: I only have 6 weeks left to live.

Don Pedro: Oh my god, really?!

Claudio: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made.

Leonato: I just found out from Hero today that when Claudio died and the service did the 21-gun salute at their funeral, Beatrice said, “They should aim at the coffin to be sure.”

Beatrice: Benedick and I got married!!

Hero: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

Beatrice: Claudio, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement-

Claudio: Aww, thanks-

Beatrice: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

Beatrice: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

Claudio: Benedick, why are you standing in front of the fan?

Benedick: I’m waiting for Beatrice to look into our window when they come home. When the fan is blowing on me, I look like a fancy supermodel.

Claudio: You want Beatrice to think you’re a supermodel?

Benedick: Giving them eye candy is the least I can do. It’ll probably be the best part of their walk!

Claudio, sarcastically: You’re selfless.

Benedick: Thank you for noticing.

Hero: *trying to get five seconds of sleep*

Beatrice, poking Hero’s arm: Hero Hero. Hero. Hero.

Hero: WHAT?

Beatrice: …We’re out of Capri Suns—

Claudio: *working in a flower shop and minding their own business*

Benedick, storming into the store and slapping $20 on the counter: HOW DO I PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY SAY “FUCK YOU” IN FLOWER???

Claudio: Hey, Benedick? Can I get some dating advice?

Benedick: Just because I'm with Beatrice doesn't mean I know how I did it.

Beatrice: I hate you.

Benedick: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Benedick: Beatrice and I are no longer dating.

Beatrice: Benedick, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Claudio: How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Hero: *blushing* I—

Benedick, butting into the conversation: Beatrice is perfect, thanks for asking.

#much ado #much ado about nothing #beatrice #benedick #ben and bea #benedick and beatrice #incorrect shakespeare #shakespeare

[aequitas-if]

Some more Aequitas as Incorrect Quotes

Using the lovely incorrect quote generator

———————————————————————-

MC to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

———————————————————————-

Sebastian: The best person I know is myself.

———————————————————————-

Vesper: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

———————————————————————-

MC: I think I'm falling for you. 
Rowan: Then get up.

———————————————————————-

Juni: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. 
MC: Why not? 
Juni: Because I don't know what they mean.

———————————————————————-

Leon: Hey Nora, do you have any hobbies? 
Nora: Swimming.. 
Leon: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to- 
Nora: In a pool of self hatred and regret.

———————————————————————-

Sebastian: I need life advice. 
Vesper, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

———————————————————————-

Juni: So, Nora, do you have a crush on anyone? 
Nora: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.

———————————————————————-

MC: Jasper isn't talking to me. 
Rowan: Enjoy it while it lasts.

———————————————————————-

Jasper: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. 
Zoe: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. 
Jasper: Not when you’re playing with Alex, it’s not. She puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

———————————————————————-

Rowan: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something! 
Jasper: You left me, MC, and Zoe in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago. 
Rowan: I did that on purpose, try again.

———————————————————————-

Zoe: Why are MC and Jasper sitting with their backs to each other? 
Alex: They had a fight. 
Zoe: Then why are they holding hands? 
Alex: They get sad when they fight.

———————————————————————-

Leon: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan. 
Vesper: We could attack them with hummus. 
Leon: I stand corrected.

———————————————————————-

Leon: You know what’s funny about Vesper? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably.

———————————————————————-

Sebastian: Juniper, we tried things your way. 
Juni: No, we didn't. 
Sebastian: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

———————————————————————-

Vesper: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

———————————————————————-

Vesper: My gender is in a constant state of flux.

———————————————————————-

Alex: What do you call disobeying the law? 
The Team: A hobby. 
Alex: *crosses their arms* 
The Team: That we as heroes do not engage in.

———————————————————————-

Sebastian/Rowan: All of your existences are confusing. 
The Team: How so? 
Sebastian/Rowan: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

———————————————————————-

Juni, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

———————————————————————-

Vesper: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

———————————————————————-

Vesper: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favour.

———————————————————————-

Juni: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

———————————————————————-

Vesper: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

———————————————————————-

#aequitas #ros #sidekick squad #my characters #incorrect quotes template #incorrect quotes #incorrect quote generator #aequitas: the offset #aequitas the offset

[lover-boy-liam]

Dazai incorrect quotes

Dazai: Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don't answer assume set the fire and I want to burn to death.

Dazai: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter.

I'm going to burn your house down.

Dazai: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.

Dazai: It's me.

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Dazai*

Dazai: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, l'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

Dazai: Just took a personality test and got an A+.

Dazai, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you're doing it all wrong.

Dazai: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Dazai: I'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet.

Stop making assumptions. It's rude.

Dazai: The 'how the fucks' and 'why are you so dumbs' don't matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

Dazai: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Dazai: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.

Dazai: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

Dazai, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'II drink my sorrows away.

Dazai, writing in his diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Dazai: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Dazai: I warned you.

Dazai: I'm perfect.

Dazai: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Dazai: Sometimes, don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Dazai: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

Dazai: If looking good was a crime, you'd be a law abiding citizen.

Dazai: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Dazai: Is this a good idea?

Dazai: Probably not.

Dazai: Do I care?

Dazai: No.

Dazai: I am literally evil incarnate.

Dazai: I'm not actually, I just enjoy being evil.

Dazai: Which I think actually makes it even more evil because l'm making a conscious effort.

Dazai: I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Dazai: STOP!

*Everyone stops*

Dazai: wAiT a MiNuTe-

Dazai: I'm gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Dazai: The only straight I am is a straight-up badass.

Dazai, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

Dazai: I know your having a panic attack, but get ready for a physical attack

#bsd incorrect quotes #bsd dazai #wtf is happening #lol #bsd shitpost

[ultimatedreamer104]

pjo/hoo characters as things i have overheard in conversations or just found on the internet ( inspiration: @icankillyouwithashoe ) !*slight spoilers*!

Jason while floating: butterfly in the sky I can fly oh so high~

┌⁠(⁠・⁠。⁠・⁠)⁠┘⁠♪

Annabeth talking to Percy: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.

Percy: ... ... three words

ಠ⁠_⁠ʖ⁠ಠ

Hazel to Leo : leo, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Leo while on fire: Well of course I have.

Leo, as a tree catches fire: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Leo as the whole camp is now on fire: It's boring.

ᕙ⁠(͡⁠°⁠‿⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠ᕗ

Leo apologizing to charon for setting the camp on fire: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

🔥🔥🔥

Percy: Hey Jason,

Jason: Yes?

Percy: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Jason:

Jason: Where’s annabeth?

ಠ⁠ಗ⁠ಠ

Nico: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Jason: Wasn't will with you?

Will: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

(⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

Grover, about annabeth: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Luke: Are we stealing them?

Thalia: New or used?

Grover: Wonderful responses, both of you.

ಡ⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠ಡ

Percy, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Nico, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Leo, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Frank, trembling: What are we playing?

༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

(I feel like this one could work for will and Nico too)

Piper: Why are Percy and annabeth sitting with their backs to each other?

Grover: They had a fight.

Piper: Then why are they holding hands?

Grover: They get sad when they fight

(⁠˘⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠˘⁠)

Nico: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Piper: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Leo: Self care is the burning heat when your on fire!

Hazel: self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Percy: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

ಠ⁠ ⁠೧⁠ ⁠ಠ

Annabeth: Anyone d-

Nico: Depressed?

Frank: Drained?

Percy: Dumb?

Piper: Disliked?

Annabeth: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

ಠ⁠,⁠_ಠ

Hazel: Piper... How do I begin to explain Piper?

Percy: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.

Jason: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

Drew while under charm: piper is flawless.

Leo: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.

(⁠・⁠o⁠・⁠)

Annabeth: We need to distract these guys

Leo and percy: Leave it to us

Leo and percy: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Nico, hazel, and frank: *Immediately begin arguing*

Jason walking into scene, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

(⁠‘⁠◉⁠⌓⁠◉⁠’⁠)

Leo: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.

Piper staring at Leo: I meant on the group project...

ರ⁠_⁠ರ

Frank laying on the ground with a big bruise on his forehead: The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.

(⁠●⁠_⁠_⁠●⁠)

Nico opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌

Percy: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

¯⁠\⁠_⁠༼⁠ ⁠ಥ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠ಥ⁠ ⁠༽⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Leo: Hello, I'm leo. I work at a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget it. Very helpful, as that does happen.

ಠ⁠◡⁠ಠ

Luke: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

•==|---------->

*leo is ordering a cake over the (monster proof)phone*

Shop Employee: …and what would you like your cake to say?

Leo, covering the phone to look at The Squad: Do we want a talking cake?

ಠ⁠∀⁠ಠ

Will: Why are you like this??

Nico: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

#pjo #random quotes #random senerios #i dono howta speell

[roosterbruiser]

doing some incorrect quotes for my characters and here are a few good ones:

Faye: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Landslide uncle!Bob: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.

Landslide Bob: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.

Landslide dad!Bradley, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

Faye: Be right back, gonna go hit the toilet for a quick power sob!

Landslide Bob: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Landslide Bob, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.

Landslide uncle!Bob, lying on the floor, depressed: I'll never be a cop. I'm gonna have to be a robber.

Landslide Bradley: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

Landslide Hangman on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.  Landslide Hangman on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

Landslide dad!Bradley, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Faye: What do you call disobeying the law?  The Squad: A hobby.  Landslide Bob: *crosses his arms*  The Squad: That we do not engage in.

Faye: I think my guardian angel drinks.

Faye: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.

Landslide Bob, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

Landslide Bob: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

Maggie: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

Landslide dad!Bradley: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Landslide dad!Bradley: We got a free day now. What do you wanna do? Eat? Sleep? Nap? Snack?

Maggie: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy. (sorry this is literally evil)

Faye: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany! Faye, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Landslide Jake: My heart is guarded but like…very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

Landslide dad!Bradley, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK?? Landslide dad!Bradley, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

Landslide Jake: Yeah I'm LGBT. Landslide Jake: cuLt leader. Landslide Jake: God hates me personally. Landslide Jake: cowBoy hat. Landslide Jake: *sniffles* Trying my best.

Landslide dad!Bradley: I’ve made a spread sheet of all the crime in Brooklyn.  Landslide dad!Bradley: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.

Landslide dad!Bradley: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.

#landslide #rumours universe #faye x bradley #jake seresin #these are so funny #jake is in love w faye haha #I love bob so much #bob floyd #he deserves everything and more

[ghosteel]

Eri adores her Caph Squad. It's very girl-dominated despite the masculine connotations the Fighting type usually has, and they're all very good at caring for one another.

It's not at all unusual to see the base separated up into little self-care groups: some of them braiding each other's hair; some of them painting nails and doing makeup; some of them distributing snack bowls and capri suns; some of them battling out their frustrations and sparring with one another; etc. etc.

[thetwistedcryptid]

Incorrect quotes - with Bowie! (part 1?)

Bowie: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun. - Bowie, when someone messes with his dormmates: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges. - Bowie, tearing up the room: Where are they? Bowie, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children? Bowie: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing. - [gets dragged into another one of Cole's schemes, and gets caught by the dormhead] Bowie: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit. [alternatively;] Bowie: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” - Bowie: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon. Bowie, wearing a duck costume and drinking a capri-sun: It's me. - Bowie, texting Cole: Don't worry, I have your phone! Text me when you're gonna come get it! - Bowie: Yeah I'm LGBT. Bowie: cuLt leader. Bowie: God hates me personally. Bowie: cowBoy hat. Bowie: *sniffles* Trying my best. - Bowie: STOP! *Everyone stops* Bowie: wAiT a MiNuTe- - Bowie, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK?? Bowie, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW! - *out grocery shopping* Bowie: *takes a free sample twice* Bowie: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel. - Bowie: Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit. Bowie: Fruits that do live up to their names? Bowie: Orange. - Bowie: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Bowie: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me. - Bowie: Hello friends! The Squad: Bowie: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling [Cole laughing in the background] - Bowie, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have sheet music to recite! - Bowie: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces. Bowie: *waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro* - Bowie: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me. - Bowie: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego. Bowie: My Magicam photo is a landscape. - Bowie, holding his (sniper) rifle: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK. - Bowie: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled. - Bowie: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on. - Bowie, holding up their class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like “Chipotle”. Bowie, in shock: Wait a minute, is it “Chip-o-tottle”? - Bowie, after not sleeping for 3 days: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Bowie lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! - Bowie: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died. Bowie: I will not yield.

#Bowie Eustace #Bowie #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #oc #nrc #night raven collage #nrc oc #Tumbleranch #nrc fandorm #fandorm

[imscissorbladez]

Meet the Tavs!

Because this piccrew is god tier.

ROOK MAGUIRE

half wood elf. folk hero. bard. late twenties early thirties. they/them.

rook was living a completely normal life fucking around in taverns around baldur’s gate trying to make it big as a bard, when the nautiloid caught them. an asshole in the sense of ‘will be an asshole if someone is rude to them’ but largely has always tried to do the right thing. typical party was karlach, astarion, switching between gale and shadowheart. ended up besties with gale and shadowheart. some dialogue is really funny because as an enby tav it was like ‘shadowheart, plz, I beg, I’m trying not to deadname you but you have to tell me.’ panicked early game realising they couldn’t protect their party after a few deaths, started eating the forbidden gummi worms, was half-ilithid a lot of the game. ended the game in the underdark, because they kind of like the folk hero gig and their vampire man needs a daylight ring or a wish spell.

romanced: astarion, gale tried it but they honestly got a cute third act arc and in retrospect if rook wasn’t already a human capri-sun they could’ve been a thing.

would they have been lured to cazador: without a shadow of a doubt, yes they would.

RI’LRR THE BLOODY

seldarine drow. haunted one. rogue. mid-twenties. she/her. dark urge.

my original dark urge; she woke up with no memory and proceeded to be super weird, because nothing says ‘cohesive party’ like ‘is it normal to want to pluck out your eyeballs and eat them? gale? gale???’ throws every fight she gets into because she’s scared of going too far. typical party is lae’zel, karlach and shadowheart. this is the girlypop crew. ri’lyrr struggles to make friends but she saved shadowheart when lae’zel was yelling at her so the girl gang has her back at all times. does the right thing! just EXCEEDINGLY violent. resisting but im not sure if itll last and if it does it’ll be because she loves her squad so much.

romanced: lae’zel and they are the cutest couple on this earth. ri’lyrr has gone from ‘man who was absolutely too old for her and was definitely a poor choice’ to ‘githyanki warrior who will end lives for her and actually doesn’t like seeing her in pain.’ fun fact, this was meant to be a wyll run, but they just worked SO well. bae’zel and ri’lyrr are at this point essentially married.

would she have been lured to cazador: honestly at that point i think it would’ve been cazador’s problem.

HAVEN [REDACTED] GRIGORE

human. sage. wild magic sorcerer. mid-thirties. she/they.

my little brainrot blorbo: without saying her entire backstory she’s sheltered for a reason. they grew up in rivington raised by their grandmother, and have a connection to the monastery of lythander that may irreparably change the course of their life. switches parties depending on need. sends out scouts. my most technically competent tav. she just has a desperate need to be liked so she can stay alive long enough to get back to be rivington, so compulsively helps everyone she sees and then lies about why. also her dad is a pirate. this will become relevant but it’s more if I start using pirate imagery that’s why. the idea of haven in the pirate hat has sent me FERAL.

romanced: if you can call whatever toxic nonsense that they have with astarion right now romance, sure. i could ship them with lae’zel, wyll or astarion, which is the route the fic is going for. karlach is firmly besties, shadowheart just doesn’t like her much at all, gale and haven would be boring! there, i said it.

would she have been lured to cazador: not an ice cube’s chance in hell.

ELYS AKTA SMOKEHARBOUR.

mephistopheles tiefling. noble. draconic bloodline sorcerer. in human standards, late-thirties. all pronouns.

ELYS THE MENACE. has spent the entire time with a tadpole in her brain rizzing up the camp. an objectively ‘good but not nice’ character. was literally described in co-op as ‘oh I get it, she’s going to save every tiefling here she’s just an arsehole.’ Had a problem with Asmodean Tieflings (it was on sight) up until she met the kids at the Tiefling camp. is here for a good time not a long time. wants to get back to the upper city and be a big deal again, death is not something they were planning for. keeps her camp mates up gossiping about ‘why is wyll 10 times hotter as a literal devil’ or ‘i think gale ate my good heels, i will pay someone 50 gold to retrieve them.’ co-op, so plays with a halfling cleric peddling gummi worms that elys won’t touch but everyone else probably will. the rest of the team comp changes depending on vibes.

romanced: has managed to romance everyone to some degree except halsin and that’s because you can’t do that yet where i am. however: it’s 99% going to be wyll. he will make elys into a better person. elys will make him do shit for himself. they’re going to have like six kids and elys will complain the whole time, i’m so ready for it.

would she have been lured to cazador: she wouldn’t run in the same circles but potentially, yes. wouldve criticised astarion’s repair work and taken him in as a sugar baby. i’m not even joking.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #my oc: haven Grigore #my oc: elys smokeharbour #my oc: rook maguire #bg3 tav #wip stuff #my oc: ry’lrr

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Incorrect Quotes - Elise Edition

Some funny incorrect quotes for Elise, made by this generator:

Enjoy!

Elise, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

Elise, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Elise: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

Elise: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal!

Elise: No problemo! Elise, internally: But it was all problemo.

Elise: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by a spontaneous musical number.

Shapeshifter: transforms to look like Elise* Elise: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep-deprived and lastly, if you could drag a comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

Elise: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

Elise: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

Elise: A person can really hear themselves think out here. Elise’s mind: Did you leave the stove on? The front door unlocked!? WILL YOU DIE ALONE!? Elise: Well, that was a mistake.

Elise: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.

Elise: War is heck!!

Elise: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it.

Elise: I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood. Elise: I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040, and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong. And the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404". Elise: And I actually laughed out loud.

Elise: Raisins. It's nature's candy!

Elise: I would never say that my partner is a little bitch and I don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a little bitch and I like them so much!

Elise: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Elise is such a nice person, Elise is so happy-go-lucky! Elise can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Elise CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Elise IS be in a bad mood.

Elise: Just took a personality test and got an A+.

Elise: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.

Elise: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. The Squad: Awwww- Elise: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." The Squad: Oh.

#rickie-the-storyteller #writerblr #writing #steph's crew #original story #original content #original characters #Elise #incorrect quotes

[nyxoz]

my bad, fahrenheit, i'm in the usa! it''s FREEZING right now.

i do love me some capri-sun (as i've always called him) and i LOVE that liv is captain, but i just can't handle the constant revolving door of characters. the squad just isn't a squad, they don't and CAN'T click like they always have before and that's an important part of the show! not to mention i miss barba :(

that's like 100 degrees! are you at least able to go swimming?

omg that’s like -5°C!!!! holy crap that is so so cold, does it feel like christmas at least?

i totally agree with that, all the new characters make it hard for the vibe to be right. and oh my god i miss barba soooooo much :((

yes i was swimming! well.. more like laying in a floaty and napping on and off hahahaha

#ask box #katie 💓