#but you people are kinda overreacting about a fake little guy. what do you mean call him out? do you think he’s a YouTuber or something?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zukump3 · 3 years

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ignoring them for 24 hours ✧ hc

you ignore your boys for 24 hours. or, at least, you try to.

genre: fluff

requested: yes! i added todoroki just cause

as perceptive as he is

izuku probably notices immediately how you’re avoiding him

you two wake up at similar times because you go to sleep at similar times, but this time you woke up before him

he gave you a sweet “good morning” and kissed your cheek, but you only smiled and went to the bathroom

he thought that was strange. you usually say good morning back

but then again, it was such a small thing that he didn’t really overreact over it

however, when you left his dorm without saying goodbye or anything like that he got a little worried

once classes were beginning, he went to your dorm to pick you up and walk you to class like usual but

you were already gone.

“what the...” he would murmur to himself, frowning now

what was up with you? were you ignoring him or something?

what even annoyed him further was that you spent the whole day with fucking bakusquad!

bakugo didn’t seem to like it of course, but kirishima and the others accepted your company like it was nothing

he tried to sit next to you at lunch but once bakugo noticed his presence, he immediately yelled at the green haired boy to “fucking beat it!”

“but i-“

“WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!”

the fact that you didn’t even come to his defense kind of hurt him

he didn’t even eat at lunch

he was so bummed out that he just poked at his food with a frown on his face

of course you noticed this. you had been watching him all day and it broke your heart to see your baby like this omg ㅠㅠ

you couldn’t do it anymore. you got up and sat next to him at lunch and you swear he shined brighter than the sun when he saw you

“y/n! i-you-“

“i was trying to praaank you,” you pouted. “but you looked so upset after what that bomb bitch said-i couldn’t do it anymore.”

his pout matched yours.

“don’t do that again... i was seriously worried!”

he makes you stay by him for the rest of the day 😭

ignoring him for 24 hours challenge: failed.

y/n only lasted 5-6 hours.

todoroki literally doesn’t notice at all

he doesn’t talk much, and seeing that you don’t talk to him much in the morning doesn’t really bother him

he just assumed you were tired and didn’t really care

you two usually got coffee together in the morning but as he went to the common room to wait for you, he was a bit peeved that you didn’t show up

he just assumed you fell asleep or something, or maybe you weren’t in the mood

not gonna lie, he was already missing your presence but he wouldn’t push you to interact with him if you weren’t in the mood

when he goes to class though, he sees you laughing and smiling with the rest of dekusquad

having a good time, apparently

he sits with you guys and listens, and his brows furrowed when he heard you say

“i wish i would’ve gotten coffee this morning. really wanted some mocha.”

...?

did you forget that you two got coffee literally every morning?

okay, whatever. something was definitely wrong with you but he wouldn’t push.

you two also sit together during lunch but you sat between tsu and izuku instead

he’s like

what. the fuck.

he stares at you for the entirety of lunch time 😭

he doesn’t even mean to, he’s just so confused?

like why are you ignoring him? you guys didn’t fight or anything last night so ?? why??

the day continues like that

whenever he comes around you leave, whenever he talks you look away from him

he’s a mixture of irritated and annoyed

irritated bc he doesn’t know why you’re acting this way, and annoyed because he wants to fucking talk to you

you’re one of the only people in this class he talks to on a daily basis and you’re pushing him away??

he only says something when it’s kind of late and everyone is tucked away in their dorms

he has a key to your dorm room don’t ask why so he goes ahead and enters

you’re on your bed, giggling about how well the prank is going to mina when you hear the doorknob jiggle and your boyfriend enter the room

“shoto!”

“we need to talk, y/n.”

you make a face. “actually, i-“

“y/n.”

the sternness in his voice makes you look up at him, kinda scared at just how serious he looks

“you’ve been ignoring me all day. why? did i do something?”

“i—“

“if i did, please tell me. communication is important in every relationship and our relationship is very special. if you do not talk to me, i have no way of knowing what i did to hurt you and-“

“shoto! oh my god, it was just a prank!” you tell him quickly, standing up and holding out your arms.

he lowkey makes a 🤨 face.

“a prank...?”

“yeah. ignore your boyfriend for 24 hours prank,” you sigh. “i was so close.”

he sighs with you, walking over to hug you tightly, which feels so good after today.

“it’s a very stupid prank.”

you giggle against his chest.

“yeah. very stupid.”

ignoring him for 24 hours challenge: failed.

y/n only lasted 18 hours.

another one that notices immediately

you went the extra mile as to leave his dorm way earlier than he wakes up, which-

how tf did you do that

he automatically doesn’t fucking like that.

“y/n?!” he’ll yell out into his bathroom and grumble when you aren’t in there, or anywhere else in his room

he doesn’t even see you until class starts, sitting and laughing with fucking dekusquad

not only that, with midoriya

“hey dumbass, why’d you leave my dorm so early today?!” he asks you, and your eyes don’t even meet his.

you just continue scribbling at your desk.

his eyes turn white.

“i’m talking to you!”

“bakugo, please go have a seat. you’re being incredibly too loud.” aizawa would tell him, slipping his face out of his yellow sleeping bag.

he looks at his teacher, then at you, then back at his teacher before cursing and marching to his desk

probably always glancing at you through the day

the fact that you’re smiling and laughing with fucking deku

that just makes his mood even worse

you’re supposed to be smiling and laughing with him, not that crybaby

obviously his friends notice how mad he is

“dude, why so pent up?” kirishima would ask him and bakugo would literally snark

the red head smirks. “oooh—its y/n isn’t it.”

bakugo pauses.

“how the fuck did you know-“

“you know she’s pranking you, right?” kirishima would laugh at the look of anger that crosses bakugo’s face.

you’re ignoring him for a... a...

a PRANK?!

he’s livid.

during training he will not hesitate to march up to you

“you think it’s funny to ignore your boyfriend for a stupid prank, huh?! you think that’s so funny don’t you?!”

“bakugo, i-“

“SILENCEEEE!” he’ll literally roar at you and blast you like 10 feet away 😭

cue him being your partner and beating you up for practice

ignoring him for 24 hours challenge: failed.

y/n only lasted 5 hours.

kirishima understands the concept of “personal space”

he knows that sometimes, you don’t wanna be bothered

and sometimes, he doesn’t wanna be bothered

but sometimes he doesn’t care about that concept.

he will poke and pester at you if you do this challenge.

if you wake up and don’t say anything to him, he’ll yank you down to the bed and whine at you until you manage to squirm out of his arms and go to your own dorm room

he’ll stand right next to you during breakfast

and i mean he will always be standing next to you.

no matter how many times you move around the tables, he’ll somehow end up next to you

like ?? does he have super speed or something 😭

he will not tolerate you ignoring him

like not at all

during class if he cracks a few jokes and you don’t respond to them he’ll probably fake cry

“y/n, you’re making me feel very unmanly right now!”

you swear you didn’t know it would be this hard

he probably notices it’s a prank though when he’s walking next to you in the halls and you’re not even speaking to him, just staring forward

“ahh... you’re trying to play a little joke on me or something? well, we’ll see how long you keep that up!”

retorts to making you jealous the entire day.

hangs out with literally every girl, even the fucking invisible bitch

you can’t take it anymore when it nears 6pm and he asks uraraka to come back to his dorm and watch movies with him

being the amazing girlfriend you are, you get up, land in his lap, and cuddle up to him tightly

he grins at you, preppering you with kisses

“told you you wouldn’t last, y/n.”

ignoring your boyfriend for 24 hours challenge: failed.

y/n only lasted 11 hours.

#bnha x poc!reader #bnha x reader #izuku x reader #mha x reader #mha fluff #mha headcanon #mha headcanons #bakugo x reader #kirishima x black reader #kirishima x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki headcanons #kirishima headcanons #bakugo headcanons #midoriya headcanons #midoriya x reader

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cinnaminsvga · 4 years

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🌸 social media au where y/n posts a fake boyfriend application on twitter as a dare but ends up seeking something real in the long run (aka how to fall in love the zillennial way) 🌸

A/N: I know I said this update wouldn’t be written, but I decided to fix the little drabble I already had written and... It’s not as bad as I thought and now I’m moderately happy with it. Anyway... We’re entering angst city babey so please put on your seatbelts because we are SOARING! || W.C. 1.8K

prev // part 18 of ? // next masterlist here.

[updates every 6PM PST]

After sending his last text to you, Namjoon is only slightly surprised when he sees your caller ID flashing on his phone screen. When he looks at the time, he notices that it had taken you less than a minute for you to call him, no doubt ready to scream your head off at his outrageous suggestion. Admittedly, he knows that his idea might be a little outside of your comfort zone, but he believes you can do it. If his people reading skills are even remotely average, then he’s sure that it’ll work if you just—

“KIM NAMJOON! HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT CONCLUSION?” Your voice is loud enough to burst an eardrum, but luckily, Namjoon had already expected your volume and had held his phone an arm away. In his nine-ish days of knowing you, he’s somewhat accustomed to your theatrics, though you’re still no match for Hoseok’s excited shrieks.

“Hello Y/N,” Namjoon hums, sitting up groggily from his bed. It’s a bit too early to go to sleep, but he supposes that your panicked screams are going to keep him up a little bit longer. “I feel as though you’re overreacting a little.”

“A little?” You scoff loudly, and Namjoon can imagine you pacing circles in your room. You did always seem a little fidgety when you two went out together. “Namjoon, you can’t just expect me to go on a date with Jungkook—“

“Why not? You guys go out all the time, don’t you?” Namjoon points out, smiling slightly at your exasperated huffs.

“Well, that’s different! Those were platonic hangouts! Just bros being bros!”

“Then change the context a little bit. You don’t have to ask him to be your boyfriend just to go on a date.”

“Namjoon, I know you’re a smart man but I don’t think your math skills are all that great,” you say brusquely. “That doesn’t add up! If I ask him on a date, then he’ll know I’m into him and—“

“And that’s a bad thing?” Namjoon interrupts, raising a brow. “Y/N, we both know you’re being a little unreasonable right now.”

You splutter for a moment, but you find that you’re unable to retort. Namjoon smirks, continuing, “Y/N, I know you’re worried that Jungkook might get swept away now that he’s quote-unquote ‘single.’ I get it. But if you’re not going do anything about it and suffer in silence, then he’s definitely going to leave. Besides, I already told you that he probably likes you back, judging from how jealous he got. You could probably even ask your friends and they’d tell you the same.”

You snort. “God, I’d rather die than talk about… love stuff with those freaks I call friends,” you cough out a laugh, muffling the sound before it can continue. Namjoon knows you’re a bit conscious of your “unflattering” snorts, but he just finds them cute. A lot of the things you don’t like about yourself are cute in Namjoon’s eyes. “I can’t even imagine going to any of them about this… They’d just bully me and make me do something I don’t want to do!”

“Isn’t that basically what I’m doing right now?” Namjoon laughs, giggling even harder when he hears your tired groan.

“Yeah, but you’re nice. Unlike those meanies,” you say. Namjoon hates to admit it, but he does appreciate being special to you, even if it’s over something trivial like this.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” Namjoon starts. He can hear you humming in agreement, but he doesn’t stop there. “But, it is a suggestion. Seeing as how you don’t have any other idea how to solve this mess, I’d say go for it. What’s the worse thing that can happen?”

“Um? I get rejected? Hello?”

“You don’t have to let him know it’s a date, you know.”

“What do you mean? Namjoon, you should stop speaking in riddles because I honestly don’t have enough brain cells for this, clearly.”

Namjoon sighs. “I guess what I’m trying to say is… What if you fake date him?” When you don’t reply immediately, Namjoon is quick to keep talking. “Not that I’m asking you to stop fake dating me! What I’m trying to say is… Maybe try to rekindle the rumor that you and Jungkook are dating? He doesn’t have to know it’s a date, so long as everyone else thinks that you two are.”

“I… I guess?” You sound unsure, though Namjoon admits it’s kind of a long shot to begin with, not when you wouldn’t know the last thing about being subtle. He kind of wants to throttle you, in a gentle way. It’s honestly frustrating to see you like this, and he just wishes he could… Make the problem go away.

That would be easy. If Y/N just stopped pining after Jungkook, then he could just come in and—

His thoughts skid to a halt, nearly slapping himself to keep from going down that road again. Look at him, trying to help you with your mess when even he can’t get a handle on his own emotions. What is going on inside my head, he thinks sadly to himself.

“Listen, it’ll be really easy! All you have to do is text him and say, ‘Hey, wanna go have dinner with me tomorrow?’ but bring him somewhere nicer, perhaps? Then take a photo of him all dressed up and looking boyfriend-y and post it on Instagram. I’m sure that’ll shut people up.”

“Namjoon, I don’t know if you’re aware, but Jungkook’s definition of ‘dressing up’ is combat boots, a hoodie, and his god-awful backpack the size of Africa. He looks like a nerd.”

“I mean, you kinda dress alike…” Namjoon mutters, and he’s thankful that you don’t hear his slight slip-up. He clears his throat. “A-anyway, I’m sure it’ll be fine? I think it would be more suspicious if he wore a suit and tie or something. So long as you guys look cozy and comfy together, I’m sure people will take the hint. If worse comes to worst, I can maybe slip something to Johnny and he can retract his statement or something.”

“I hope to god that isn’t the case,” you say. Namjoon nods, before realizing you can’t even see him.

“Right. Well, I think everything should work out perfectly. Just ask him to some popular couples restaurant. Maybe the nice Italian place in Hongdae? Something more romantic, not necessarily fancy.”

There’s a pause on your end for a moment causing Namjoon to sweat a little, wondering if he might be overstepping. He does genuinely want to help you, though he hopes he isn’t actually weirding you out somehow. He’s not adept at handling love problems as much as he’s trying to appear to be, since he’s mostly using the romance novels he had read during his teen years as his sole source of reference. This is what I get for not dating for so long, Namjoon thinks, grimacing.

“Namjoon.” You break the silence, your voice quieter than before. Namjoon has to strain his ears a little, pursing his lips as he waits for your response. “Are you…”

Namjoon tilts his head. “Am I?”

Namjoon hears you hesitate, stuttering syllables over his phone speaker like you aren’t quite sure how to ask your question. “Do you remember when I asked you a few days ago if you were sure you don’t actually have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah?”

“I just… I don’t know how to say this without being weird, but I just want to say you’re great. Like,” you huff out a laugh, incredulous. “You’re just… The perfect package? You’re so kind and so sweet and it’s just? Almost mysterious how you don’t have someone special to call your own yet.”

Namjoon smiles wryly to himself, head bowed as he stares at his wrinkled bedsheets. “I suppose other people don’t feel the same way.” He tries forcing out a laugh, but it sounds a little strangled. His chest feels tight, strangely. Hopefully, you don’t notice.

“No, I highly doubt that! You’re literally the perfect guy. Any person would be lucky to have you as their boyfriend.” You sound almost indignant, like you can’t imagine anyone ever thinking badly about him. He almost wants to laugh, but he tightens his hands into fists instead, digging his nails into his palms and leaving crescents in their wake.

“Well then… I guess that makes you lucky to have me, then?” Namjoon nearly slaps his hands to his mouth, a cold tingle of embarrassment mixed with fear running down his spine. Did he really just say that— “What I mean is, erm…”

“N-no, I get you.” You’re giggling, but—is he imagining it?—you sound a little nervous to his ears. If he thinks hard enough, he can almost imagine you blushing, bottom lip trapped underneath your teeth. “I guess I am lucky to be your fake girlfriend, huh? Even for just a few weeks?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon breathes out the word, guilt washing over him like waves. Here he is, feeling things that he shouldn’t be, over a girl who was never his to begin with. There are seedlings in his chest, barely anything to write home about. But he knows—a gardener can see the garden even before the flowers have bloomed. Each day he spends with you is another day they get a chance to grow, and he’s afraid he’ll soon be overrun, unable to handle the forest that is bound to erupt. “Just a few weeks,” he echoes, unable to completely hide the sadness from his words.

“I guess I am just being melodramatic about everything, huh?” you say. It takes a moment for Namjoon to even remember what the two of you had been talking about, so caught up in his thoughts that he has to pinch himself back to reality.

“Think of it as a funny story to tell your grandkids,” Namjoon says.

You laugh, and Namjoon can feel a seedling sprout its first leaf. “Yeah. Definitely. God, I can’t even begin to think about kids… Not when I can’t even ask him out on a fucking date.”

“You can do it, Y/N.” Namjoon whispers. He flops back down onto his bed, eyes half-closed as he stares at his cracked ceiling. If he breathes quietly enough, he can hear the sounds of Seoul outside his windowpane. If he stops breathing altogether, he might be able to hear you across the city, your socked feet padding towards your bed, curling up into your own blanket.

“Thank you, Namjoon. Really.”

For what? Namjoon leaves that part unspoken. “You’re welcome,” he says instead. He drops the call, feeling a little emptier than before.

#bangtanarmynet #bts social media au #bts scenarios #bts texts #bts fake texts #bts imagines #bts x reader #bts #jungkook scenarios #namjoon scenarios #jungkook fake texts #namjoon fake texts #jungkook fanfiction #namjoon fanfiction #jungkook x reader #namjoon x reader #kim namjoon #jeon jungkook #bangtan

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fanartfunart · 4 years

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@sapony01 commented on one of my Sides Swap posts: Can you explain their function and personality a bit better/explore them? Some are kinda obvious but some kinda confuse me

And, but of course! I’m totally open to it! (I’m mostly making another post for it because otherwise it’ll get absurdly long)

To summarize, the main idea is that they keep their personality and secondary traits they represent (Like Ego, Emotionality, ect), while further representing the Main Trait (like Anxiety, Creativity, ect)

The rest under the cut:

Anxiety

Roman: His key representation of Anxiety would befall closer to overemphasizing bravery and ignoring problems, and of course, insecurities. Thus a focus on Dangers you can Fight, and avoiding things you can’t. A emphasis on the Knight theme as a representation of bravery. He’d use ego and theatricality as a cover- a ‘be weird before people can accuse you of being weird because then it’s on purpose’ type logic.

Patton: The type of Anxiety where you emotionally over extending yourself because you’re scared of social-emotional repercussions. Caring so much that there’s no time and energy to care for yourself. Also a good representation of the Dad-Friend override for Anxiety.

Logan: A representation of over-analyzing the world like an outsider, that emotional distance that, while you’re curious of all the things around you, you can’t help but focus on the bad. Avoidance becomes a key factor and everything is categorized as bad or good off of exaggerated ‘proof’.

Janus: Very self protective to the point that things outside the Comfort Zone are almost always negative and overwhelming. Sarcasm, brittleness, and lying as a way to avoid things outside the Comfort Zone.

Remus: Overthinking creating an Anxious reaction. Basically seeing things in the shadows and over-analyzing interactions. Essentially worries cropping up out of the idea of various terrible things you can think of possibly coming at you from the smallest of hints to it. Also Knight theme because why not.

Creativity

Logan: A more organized and analytic approach to creative works. Prone to being a literary critic. Draws from media to explain a point. As creativity would likely be the type of writer that hides details and metaphors in everything, focus on foreshadowing and the such.

Janus: Never lets anything be direct, people should be able to make their own conclusions about the meaning of the text. Probably thinks method acting is fun. The kind of actor/writer that easily shrugs on different types of characterizations that it makes other people dizzy seeing him switch between them.

Virgil: Your inner Emo Art Phase personified (everyone has at least one somewhere in there). Would prefer to be either a lesser known creator, or not let Thomas use his real name (thus Ghostwriter), because being Known is Awkward and his work can get too real, being known as a real person could detract from the art. Focus on art as an outlet for expressing negative feelings and stress relief.

Patton: Take your craft-happy relative who always hand-makes gifts and you’ve got Creativity Patton. Just wants to have fun and share the fun. Draws from positive emotional experiences for creativity because he wants to give everyone who sees said art a hug through said art. (Yes, his design is vaugely based off of Disney’s Pinocchio Geppetto aka Pinocchio’s dad.)

Remus: Take Remus as he is, and then take the ‘intrusiveness’ out of him. He basically has all the same horrifying ideas, but he doesn’t use them to make Thomas upset or anything, he’s just making stories.

Logic

Patton: Sorta a relaxed logic, understands not everything can be solved with a clean logical solution and that emotions hold a important space in people’s actions. Is that little logical voice when you’re super mad going ‘you’re mad because this, this, and this, and this is probably an overreaction to what you’re expressing your anger to, but it’s still valid.’ Prone to emotional fallacies though.

Virgil: You know any super cool teacher/professor who teaches you what the book says and then closes the book and says ‘ok now guess what, they’re also wrong, and I’m probably wrong too’?? Virgil as logic. (also why I kinda gave him the ‘tired + university hoodie’ style) Emphasizes learning from various sources and never trusting any of them 100%. Doesn’t trust his own information either, and it makes him stressed.... but like, he’s always stressed anyway so it’s chill.

Roman: Bounces from topic to topic to learn. Very curious and easily inspired- also easily distracted. The definition of what a liberal arts education should be doing- aka, connecting seemingly unrelated topics. An Encyclopedia of very specific information. But, once he’s got a set of information it’s hard to let go of it, which makes it hard to adjust to being told he’s wrong.

Janus: Emphasis on how information is always being adjusted, and people’s biases are always present in studies and interpretation. Focuses on debunking things. Also kinda makes it hard to 100% be sure of any information presented.

Remus: Enjoys abusing the ‘technicalities’ in things. A little hard to follow in terms of train of thought. Disturbing Facts are still facts.

Morality

Virgil: Emphasis on sympathy and ‘do what you’d hope people would do for you’ moral arguments. Focus on social structure for the ground rules for moral behavior. That guy who’s constantly nice because he wished someone was nice to him, ya know? Hates the idea of being a bad person so much that it causes a lot of guilt and mistrust of the self.

Logan: Thinks of moral behavior as an equation of sorts. People do good things and that causes good things and that allows the social structure to work as it should, so do good things. Draws on philosophy and other social sciences to argue his points. Easy to readjust his thinking with proper reasoning.

Roman: Just wants people to be happy! And to be good! Emphasis on the reactions of others and how that effects your social/emotional well-being. Do good because it feels good kinda guy (he wants to be somebody’s Hero, ya know how it be).

Janus: Understands that morality is such a grey place that most anything can be seen as bad if you argue it enough. Places value on the self as someone deserving of feeling good as well, and bases moral values on what you as an individual wants to do. Also still kinda morally grey in general and probably shouldn’t always be listened to.

Remus: I Follow no Rules but My Own. Full rejection of social pressures. What precisely that means for his resulting moral standing is up to debate.

Deceit

Logan: Woorsst lair because he’ll twist truth and facts into it and it’s hard to pick out what’s the lie. Very blunt about his role as deception and its benefits and drawbacks. Very good about remembering which lies were told when and to who. Not the kind to lie more than seen necessary.

Roman: Focus on lying as acting and getting to where you need to go in life. ‘Fake it til you make it’ is his motto and it also includes mental states. Makes it hard to be honest about feelings. Very much a ‘lying to yourself’ aspect.

Virgil: Lying to avoid perceived negative repercussions. Lying still bothers him- as lying can also cause negative reactions. Focus on lying in reaction to events, less so on lying to the self. Not every lie is especially necessary though, knee-jerk reactions and fear make it very easy to lie. Lies of omission being the most utilized.

Remus: The opposite to Roman’s ‘lying to yourself’. Lying to others just to see their reactions. Uses being ‘blatantly honest’ about taboo subjects to seem honest about other things.

Patton: Lying to spare people’s feelings and being perceived well. Focus on lying or omitting the truth to seem like everything’s awesome.

Intrusive Thots

Patton: Makes emotional reactions overwhelmingly hard to gauge and control, results in terrifying thoughts and feelings with little control or filter. Gets stuck on ideas because of how hard he’s trying to push it away (yea know, like the white bear experiment).

Virgil: Thinks in problem solving, but the problems are of course, the thoughts of his own creation. Incessant about ‘solving’ the perceived problem.... not much else changes.

Logan: The Mad Scientist aesthetic is fun, what can I say? Takes facts and focuses on the scary parts, and then brings them back up on the slightest hint of relevance, and sometimes just Because. Some of it is curiosity taken into a frightening territory and gets overwhelming.

Janus: Emphasis on what happens if terrible things happened. Also likes using the ‘you’re gonna go to hell anyway just dive in with me’ argument. Occasionally pops up in a way that sounds almost nice, then turns horrifying very quickly.

Roman: Take Roman, make his ideas more Remus. He’s already Loud and Proud, just make him scarier, and a little more incessant and probably a little more arrogant for good measure.

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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TWDG: The Final Season | Character Discussion | 2/2

Part 1 | Part 2

[Brody and the basement scene]

“I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You're gonna be okay, I promise. Goddamn it, help! Why did you say that, Brody? I...I told you not to say it. Please be okay...”

Okay... here’s where the glass shatters, Marlon becomes the episode’s antagonist, and I wish there was an option to just stay in bed.

Up to this point, Marlon’s been sincerely kind, stubborn, sometimes a little agitated, but overall? A decent guy. There are flaws with his leadership and not everyone likes him, but that comes with the territory, yeah?

He wants to keep Ericson safe, he saved Clementine and AJ’s lives, he loves Rosie, he’s Louis’ best friend- what reason do I have not to trust him?

I was rooting for you, Marlon. The first time I played, I was team Marlon.... until we got back to the school after the incident with Abel at the train station.

Brody’s freaking out, and Marlon comes over... and the unsettling feelings starting creeping up when he grabs Brody’s arm and she shoves him down.

The first time I played, I had the gut feeling that she wasn’t overreacting like Marlon claimed she was and this is when I started to actually doubt him. I was still rooting for him, like maybe it’s just a misunderstanding and the game wants me to question Marlon, but he’s not the real issue. Y’know... a fake out.

Then I heard his voice in the pipes and... oh boy.

Marlon, my guy, you hurt me.

But not as bad as you hurt Brody.

Okay, let’s do this- Marlon and Brody. Start from the beginning with their relationship and how we got to the basement scene.

One thing you’ll notice back when I was talking about Aasim is how quick Brody is to snap “Be nice, Aasim” after he gets agitated with Marlon. Then, we see the two of them sitting together on the steps during the “HELP AJ MAKE FRIENDS” segment. There’s no conversation you can overhear or anything, but you get the impression that Brody is supportive of Marlon.

I mean... why else would she be so quick to tell Aasim to be nice... right?

Except no, we already know that these two are so close because of what happened with the twins. But if you don’t know that, then obviously this seems like nothing.

Though interesting to point out that people assumed Marlon and Brody were a thing based on this little tidbit, an idea that a lot of people theorize about. Hell, I believe even Kent said they might’ve had something going, albeit something unhealthy. There isn’t any evidence of a previous romantic relationship in the game, just a speculation amongst players that can add some even darker tones to their problematic relationship.

So, Brody and Marlon chat before dinner, AJ comes over and apologizes, Marlon is once again super chill and sweet to AJ and it’s great. I love the way he handles AJ.

Marlon and Brody even have a little moment where they look at each other, silent conversation and all, before he accepts the apology. Hmm.

We don’t get to chat with Brody again until after the office scene if you choose to go fishing, and here’s where I start theorizing about Brody’s true reasons for wanting to go on a road trip.

Obviously, the whole Brody and Violet thing is what’s at focus for this scene- do you help Violet forgive Brody or not, but the whole time outside of that, Brody is very focused on another idea- taking a road trip.

“I've lived here my entire life. Heck, I'd say I know every inch of these woods. I'd kind of like to un-know it. “

And while you can easily look at this as “Oh, Brody’s just a dreamer, she wants to go on a road trip with all her friends and explore somewhere new. So what?” allow me to put on my tinfoil hat and look too much into it.

Brody wants to escape Marlon, the situation they got themselves into, and leave the guilt behind. Hop in a truck, leave Ericson and the place she and Marlon traded away their friends at, leave Marlon behind, and start somewhere new where she can pretend everything’s okay. Escape the anxiety and trauma.

Just to clarify, I don’t think Brody would just up and abandon everyone to go on a road trip or anything, this is just something she fantasized and talks about wistfully. Which is fair- if it’s the apocalypse, I’m going to have fantasies like that to escape and help maintain my sanity, too. It’s a way of coping.

The reason I say she wants to get away from Marlon is that he appears to be the driving force behind her being quiet. Though I do think we tend to gloss over the fact that Brody was indeed there and she could’ve come clean about the twins prior to Clementine and AJ’s arrival due to her murder.

Sure, I don’t doubt Marlon told her to be quiet, that he’d figure something out... but when his decision was to keep it a secret and move on with their lives, Brody agreed. We don’t know what it took for her to agree, though. That’s the thing.

Maybe Marlon convinced her, maybe he threatened her, and maybe she agreed all by herself.

We don’t know. She never got to tell us.

But going off of what I’ve seen of Brody and her behavior towards Marlon in Done Running, I’m more inclined to believe that she was willing to agree because, just like Marlon, she had that guilt weighing on her shoulders. She couldn’t stop what happened, and she had no choice but to go along with it.

She was there with Marlon when the twins were taken away. She was the one who broke the news to Violet and that had to be so damn hard all by itself, y’know... having to lie to her face about it. She helped Tenn, the twins’ little brother, take down Sophie’s paintings and clean out their dorm.

She and Marlon stood side by side, kept quiet and watched everyone mourn the deaths of Sophie and Minerva, all while knowing what really happened. Neither of them came clean for their own reasons.

That kind of shit will destroy your insides and drive you mad, which is what we see down in the basement. These are two broken partners in crime who are seconds away from snapping. They’re stuck, they’re overwhelmed, they can’t agree on anything, they’re arguing and getting physically upset with one another. They’ve turned into worse versions of themselves because of this.

Marlon is no longer the chill, kind, genuine guy I praised in the beginning of this, and Brody isn’t the sweet, friendly dreamer who wanted to take a road trip with her friends.

Marlon is angry, scared, and lashing out. Brody is an anxious mess.

And they kind of hate each other.

It’s horrible. It breaks my heart.

And thinking about what happened the day they got themselves into this disaster... maybe Brody did protest in the beginning before Marlon convinced her that the best thing to do was be quiet and move on, that maybe they’ll never come back and this was the only thing they could do for the best interest of the group, and she agreed.

Maybe she went into a full blown panic attack that Marlon helped her work through all while dealing with his own emotions and that, in a twisted way, brought them closer.

We don’t know.

But you’d think that if she so easily spilled everything to Clementine, that she would’ve eventually broke down and told everyone else, too... yeah? That Marlon would’ve pushed her far enough that she slipped.

To that you can argue that it was the fact that Abel and his people were back that set her off, seeing that it was happening all over again and she refused to go through that. Then, when Marlon says he has a plan, that they’ll use Clementine and AJ, that was the final nail in the coffin that sets her mind to confessing. Clementine just happened to come down and Brody took the opportunity.

The thing is... Brody had to be feeling to same way Marlon was- ashamed, guilty, heartbroken, traumatized, terrified, and so many overwhelming emotions. I think she knew what would happen if they came clean and that scared her.

She wanted to be friends with Violet again, the way they used to be- “We all used to be friends. Guess I just kinda miss that.“ and if Violet’s distanced not knowing the truth now? Imagine what she would’ve been like if Brody came clean.

Same goes for the rest of the crew.

Marlon gets a lot of the blame for what happened, which is totally fair and justified, but like I said, we gloss over that Brody was there as well. I just wish we had more context as to how they handled it at the beginning as that would give such a great insight to Marlon and his growth [or decline] over the year prior to TFS.

And y’know... I think it was a blessing and a curse to have someone in on the secret. He has someone to talk about it to so he doesn’t feel as alone... but that comes with the constant worry of “what is she confesses?” and that’s where I think Marlon turned to intimidation out of his own fears and insecurities, which put a huge strain on his and Brody’s relationship, as well as their mental health.

It doesn’t help that it seems Brody has issues with anxiety and panic attacks going off what we saw in Done Running.

Moving on to the beginning of the red flags with Marlon... let’s look at their conversations after Clementine and crew get back after the deal with the train station.

Right as we enter, we hear them in the middle of this-

Brody: “You are not listening to me. Marlon, listen to me- I'm telling you, the place was ransacked!”

Marlon: “It's fine. We'll deal with it.”

Who knows how long this conversation has gone on... and once again, Marlon isn’t listening. Hell, Brody is flat out saying he’s not listening. If this wasn’t alarming enough, Brody goes off on Clementine upon learning Abel’s fate and Marlon rushes in... probably to make sure she doesn’t say anything he doesn’t want her to.

Brody: “I just can't... I won't... just not again... fuck!”

Marlon: “What the hell's going on here?”

Brody: “She took them outside the safe zone... They saw someone! You know what that means-!”

Marlon: “Enough! It just means there's a hungry guy out there looking for food. It's happened before. You are overreacting.”

Brody: “You can't be serious!”

[Marlon grabs her arm]

Marlon: “Come on, let's go somewhere and talk about this.”

So... yikes.

It’s that arm grab, man. That set off some alarm bells. It happens super quick before it cuts back and Brody shoves him so hard, he falls to the ground. Which takes a lot of force. Then Brody turns the blame on Clementine, which is interesting.

None of that is great. But Marlon gets up and you can feel how exasperated and stressed he is that Brody made that scene and that Clementine took Louis and Violet outside the safe zone. He’s just learned that Abel is back, Brody is cracking, and it’s the calm before the storm.

It’s worth noting that even though he’s clearly upset, he’s still holding onto to this “I’m the leader, I know I asked you for help and you did, it’s fine, we’ll be eating for a while. It’s fine. I’ll go talk to Brody, go eat. Everything is fine.”

Giving off the appearance that everything’s okay. Nothing wrong, Brody’s just paranoid. It’s fine.

And if you’re like me, you said, “Hmmmmm... I have bad feelings.”

Though, I’d like to add that I also like that he admits that he always worries if Clementine tells him he doesn’t have to. A bit of vulnerability slipping through. So that’s it, right? He’s just worried.

Well... that’s not wrong, but...

Also, Marlon tells Brody she’s overreacting quite a bit and I bet that’s something he’s said to her plenty in the past. It’s just.. ugh.

Okay, time for the fun part.

As we all know, Clementine and AJ are woken up by voices in the pipes. They belong to Marlon and Brody as they’re having an argument down in the basement.

What’s really sad is that they’re the only ones who seemingly notice. Clementine’s the only one who bothered to get out of bed and see what the hell was going on. Which makes me think that this isn’t the first time they’ve fought like this, so the rest of the Ericson crew just ignore it.

Which is pretty fucked up. You’d think that someone would hear it and go down there to at least tell them to knock it off.

You could argue that maybe only Clementine and AJ could hear it because they’re closer to the basement door, which is fair. But there are other rooms in that hallway that are close enough, so unless those rooms are all empty... someone else had to of heard something.

Hell, they all hear Marlon and AJ yelling at each other in a thunderstorm outside... why not hear this?

In order for me to go over the entire basement conversation, we all gotta be up to speed. The conversation is below but if you want to hear the voice acting, you can watch this video here.

Marlon: “Why can't you just do what I ask you to do?”

Brody: “Because we caused all this, and now we have to deal with it!”

Marlon: “I am dealing with it!”

Brody: “By tradin' more of us away? That's not fixin' the problem, that's runnin' away from it! ...Let me go!”

Marlon: “Hey, calm down.”

Brody: “Don't tell me to calm down! You can't do this! You can't just-ahh!... Please...please! If we just tell everyone what's goin' on, maybe we can-”

Marlon: “I said shut up!”

[it’s implied Marlon does something here... grabs her, pushes her, hits her... there are no other sounds in the video but it’s not good. You can hear it in both their voices and “I said shut up!” is exactly what he says before he hits her with the flashlight later soo...]

Marlon: “Shit, shit. Brody, are you okay?”

Brody: “Fuck you. ...There's got to be some other way.”

Marlon: “There is no other way. Goddamn it, so few of us left... What else would you have me do?”

Brody: “Something! There's got to be something.”

Marlon: “No, no, no, there's nothing. Nothing, Brody!”

Brody: “That can't be true!”

Marlon: “You know, maybe...maybe it doesn't matter. It probably doesn't matter at all. It's just a couple of cigarettes. I mean... Just one fucking guy! This is an insurance policy.”

[insurance policy = Clementine and AJ. Nice, Marlon. Also his denial and inability to listen is super prominent here.]

Brody: “An insurance policy? These are fucking people, Marlon!”

Marlon: “I know that! Fuck, I know that. ...You are overreacting. I'm telling you!”

Brody: “What if I'm not?”

Marlon: “No, you are. So knock it the fuck off, Brody.”

Brody: “You knock it the fuck off! You are unbelievable! You fucking coward!”

Marlon: “Hey, HEY! We are in this together. You will not put this all on me! ...Damn it, Brody! We don't even know for sure it was them!”

Brody: “You know he's not alone. Those bastards are back and it's only a matter of time before they find us. You know that!”

Marlon: “I don't know shit, and neither do you! Goddamn it, Brody, keep it together!”

Brody: ‘There you go again, getting so mad.”.

Marlon: “Well, what do you want me to do? You're making me mad!”

Brody: “Oh, we have to tell the others! About what you did!”

It’s not a fun conversation. At all. I hate it, even if the voice acting is terrific.

So here’s the thing about this conversation... Marlon is stuck. He’s refusing to see any other way of handling the raiders return because what else is there to do? Fight them off? We know that’s something Marlon doesn’t want to do for a number of reasons- he’d have to come clean, he’d have to develop a plan of attack, he’d risk everyone at the school- so in his mind, being quiet and keeping Clementine and AJ as “insurance” is the best course of action to keep the others safe.

But then there’s Brody. She’s had enough and you can tell that it’s all become too much for her. She just wants to come clean and face the consequences, she wants Marlon to own up to what happened, and she’s willing to face his anger and call him out on it. It gets to the point where she starts to plead that they have to tell the others.

The more and more she goes on, the angrier Marlon gets. All his shame, grief, stress, and anger have became a dangerous cocktail that causes him to lash out.

And he fucking does. That part where he tells her to shut up then there’s this dead pause? Then his voice breaks as he apologizes and asks if she’s okay? Followed by Brody’s “fuck you.”?

Their fight has become physical now. It’s not just them yelling at each other, and while I want to give Marlon the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe he grabbed her like he did before which isn’t great either but fucking hell, that’s not what it sounds like. He hit or pushed her or something and... God damn it, Marlon. That’s inexcusable and it makes me question if he’s ever gotten physical with her before. Especially since Brody continues the conversation like it’s happened before....

God, I miss when Marlon was chill and sweet. Remember when he helped Clementine with Rosie? I do... Can we go back to that?

...Anyway, this whole conversation sucks and it gets worse. Marlon is a hair away from melt down and Brody is becoming desperate for him to listen to her.

So when Clementine comes down, everything comes to a head.

And at first, you think think that maybe Clementine can calm the situation, defuse it. But then Marlon goes into defensive “everything’s fine” mode, telling Clementine there’s nothing to worry about and to go back to bed.

Take note of his hard tone here, too. He’s doing that dominating tone, but elevated from when he used it before. He shines the light in Clementine’s face and says, “Brody and I were just talkin', go get some sleep. You deserve some shut-eye. You had a busy day.” In hopes that she’ll be intimidated and cooperate but... well, Clementine isn’t and doesn’t.

And Brody seizes the opportunity.

Brody: “The man you met at the station. We got history.”

Marlon: “Brody... Don't listen to her, Clem, she's acting crazy. She gets this way sometimes, you just gotta tune it out.”

The desperation in Marlon’s voice here is just... ugh. Trying so hard to discredit Brody and take control back of the situation.

That’s what it all comes back to, isn’t it? Marlon’s control. He knows Brody’s slipping and no matter what he does or says, he can’t regain his control over her and the situation. Clementine is threatening that and it’s spiking his anger.

We all know what happens next.

Brody: “Marlon let him take the twins. Him and his people.”

Marlon: “Damn it, Brody!”

Clementine: “Tenn's sisters? I thought they were killed by walkers.”

Brody: “That's the story we told everyone.’

Marlon: “Shut up.”

Brody: “'Cause Marlon was so ashamed of what-”

Marlon: “I said SHUT UP!”

Marlon loses control, hits Brody with his flashlight so hard that it kills her, and realization of how badly fucked up he’s become dawns on him.

Yeah, Marlon... Brody’s bleeding out on the floor because of you, because you were so desperate to keep control and hide your shame from everyone, and this is what it manifested into.

Yet, he tries to rationalize it like it’s not his fault. He’s in denial. He told her not to say it, and she did. But it’s okay, she’s going to be okay.

Which is fucked, but at this point, Marlon’s in a full blown panic - “Oh, shit, Brody. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You're gonna be okay, I promise. Goddamn it, help! Why did you say that, Brody? I...I told you not to say it. Please be okay.” He’s all over the place and doesn’t know what to do.

And it gets worse.

Because Marlon’s in such a panic, brain scattered with a shit ton of horrifying thoughts- “What do I tell everyone? Brody’s dead and I killed her. How will everyone look at me? I betrayed them. I betrayed all of them. The raiders are coming back. Clementine knows the truth. What do I do? I can’t let them know. I can’t tell the truth because they will see me for what I really am.” -when he hears Brody tell Clementine everything, he once again does something shitty to save himself. He runs and locks Clementine in the basement, knowing that Brody’s going to turn.

Clementine: “Marlon, you son of a bitch, don't do this!”

Marlon: “I'm sorry... I can't...I can't let you talk to the others.”

So... what does this entire scene tell us about Marlon?

Well, first off, I shouldn’t trust someone just because they love dogs. That’s on me.

This is where Marlon goes from friend to foe and it’s a lot to take in. This scene is the reason people question Marlon’s real motivations, question whether or not he was ever good if he had it in him to murder Brody in order to keep her quiet.

But that’s the thing, when you watch this scene, you can tell that Marlon didn’t mean to kill her. In a fit of anger, he didn’t know his own strength and lashed out and she died because of it. He should still be held accountable for it, even if it was an accident. But because he’s holding on to whatever he can, he refuses to take accountability, choosing to then leave Clementine for death and pin everything on her.

He has no plan after that, he just knows that he has to regain control over everything or else he’s done. He doesn’t have time to mourn Brody or come to terms with what he had done because he’s moving so fast to “fix” everything, y’know?

What Marlon did down here was inexcusable. I can do my best to explain what lead Marlon to this point and why he did what he did, but that doesn’t justify anything.

Now... before I move on to talk about the confrontation scene, there is one more important character in Marlon’s life to cover.

[Louis and a broken friendship]

“I hope you know Louis didn't mean any harm there. He's just the world's biggest dumbass. He's my best friend, so I can legally call him that.”

Where to even begin?

From the beginning, I guess.

Louis and Marlon have known each other for years, back before the walkers came and the world ended. We know this because of the photo in Marlon’s office and how everyone tells us that they’re best friends.

And it’s funny that they’re such best friends but the game doesn’t care much to show us that, or even go into details about their relationship. Which, in my opinion, was a bit of a failure on the writers part. I know you probably didn’t have time and all the usual reasons, but you’d think that this relationship would be important enough to cover just a tad bit more considering that Louis is a potential love interest and Marlon’s the antagonist.

Y’know?

The only times Marlon and Louis actually interact with one another for more than two seconds is during the card game and during the confrontation, and even that is slim if you choose to appeal to Violet.

But like, no guys, they’re super best friends. Trust us, we told you, like, twice.

I hate to get into the Louis vs Violet thing since this is about Marlon, but let me explain why this bothers me.

They didn’t have any issues letting Violet spill her guts about her past with the twins, specifically Minerva. Now, the twins are considered dead at this point, so it’s not like they could show them interacting, so they get a pass for the show rather than telling. Except they do show that Violet and Minerva were girlfriends when you go fishing and look at the initials on the wall.

I’m not saying that this isn’t important. It is. I explained why it’s important to Marlon’s character previously, too.

But this is when we run into a problem with what they decided to do with Louis- Louis doesn’t tell us jack shit about his relationship with Marlon in Done Running prior to appealing to him during the confrontation. All I ask is why not?

Look, to be frank, the picture is nice and all, but it’s not enough. Marlon saying “Oh yeah, muh best friend,” once isn’t enough. You barely scraped by with what you gave us.

Louis doesn’t tell us anything about his past, at least nothing important to the plot. When Aasim makes a comment about him being Marlon’s lap dog, Louis brushes it off with a joke, and never mentions Marlon again. The only time Louis actually lets us in is if you take care of the walker with him and he explains his way of thinking before realizing he let his guard down and puts the mask back on.

Louis isn’t willing to share anything about his friendship with Marlon but Violet’s over here super willing to open up about the twins and Brody? That’s hilarious because you’d think it’d be the other way around.

You’d think that they’d have Louis saying something about Marlon to show us that he has a blind faith in Marlon or trusts him to a fault. He can see that Aasim doesn’t get along with Marlon and questions his leadership, so why not have him say something in defense of Marlon?

And perhaps it’s on purpose. Maybe Louis’ trust in Marlon is so great that he doesn’t feel the need to defend him because he knows how Aasim gets. They have plenty of other stuff to argue about, why add another thing? Fine, that makes sense... but why not have him say something to Clementine? Hell, have Clementine ask him about Marlon and the safe zone and what he thinks about it?

Like when Clementine’s all “Hey, let’s go to the train station.”

Louis just stands there like “’kay,” without any indication of “Yeah Marlon wouldn’t like that.”

...Maybe he doesn’t care? Who knows.

I’m just saying, they would’ve benefited from adding a conversation with Louis about Marlon so that we could get his perspective of their relationship BEFORE the confrontation rather than waiting until ep2 for him to give us some details.

But, like, it’s fine... I’ll just work with what I got.

There isn’t too much to say about them during the card game. They’re chill, they’re buddies. Louis does this cute whistle that Marlon bobs his head to and that’s pretty neat.

After Louis asks Clementine if she ever had to kill someone she loved and the game ends, Marlon goes to make sure Clementine’s okay and let her know that Louis didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, he’s just a dumbass.

But it’s fine, they’re best friends so he can legally call him that. This is the first time we see Marlon say something like that about Louis, the second time being in the office. He’ll admit that he hopes Louis will actually show up to go hunting, which says a lot about the amount of faith he puts into Louis.

Which is interesting to think about how one-sided their friendship can seem when you start putting pieces together. Louis has complete faith in Marlon but Marlon doesn’t return that faith due to the fact that he knows Louis runs on his own time, y’know? Louis appears to be honest while Marlon is dishonest.

Knowing how Marlon is and his need for control, you’d think that he’d be more stern with Louis. He’s like that with everyone else... until you remember that Marlon has a soft spot for Louis. One that allows him to take control in a different way.

I can’t help but feel Marlon had this sense of entitlement to Louis as his best friend. Marlon’s been Louis’ friend the longest, Marlon is the only one who can call Louis an idiot, Marlon gives Louis special treatment in many ways that others notice, Marlon knows Louis better than anyone else does. Marlon loves Louis like he’s his own blood.

And if you know anything about Louis and his character, you know a big part of his arc is confidence and self-esteem. I mean, real self-esteem, not the persona he puts on. Looking back at everything we’ve covered, it’s not out of the question to think that Marlon could’ve used that part of Louis to his advantage. He’s Louis’ best friend, Louis can trust him because Marlon’s always had his back, always appeared to see beyond the jokes and piano because they’ve know each other longest. They’re practically brothers.

Having that control over Louis is important to Marlon, and while that seems like a slimy way to put it, it’s true. I don’t think Marlon ever saw Louis as a pawn or anything- I believe Marlon genuinely cared about and loved Louis- but when it came to the twins, he didn’t confide him. Marlon didn’t want to lose the closest connection he had, the one person who couldn’t see him for who he turned into, and he didn’t want Louis to tell everyone else.

There ya go- yet another layer of guilt and shame for Marlon.

Not only that, but Marlon didn’t have much confidence in him, found him irresponsible. He had to deal with the fact that he still loved Louis while acknowledging that he’s not reliable.

That brings us to when Clementine appeals to Louis.

Here’s where Marlon becomes a cocky bastard.

Clementine: “Louis, don't let him do this!”

Louis: “Oh, no. I am not involved.”

Clementine: “What?”

Louis: “I like you, Clem, but I...”

[Louis looks to Marlon, who gives him an intimidating look back that shuts Louis down. There’s the control.]

Louis: “Not me. I'm sorry. You're, uh, on your own. Sorry.”

And Marlon’s face...? He’s so smug I could slap him. He looks at Clementine like “Oh, you thought Louis was gonna help you, huh? HA! My best friend, dingus.”

What’s funny is that in all my searching through reddit and youtube and what have you, a lot of people complain that Louis is “harder” to get to side with you. Which, technically, no he’s not. Both he and Violet require you to pick two dialogue choices before they help. Louis only appears harder because Marlon intimidates him into being quiet and that makes it seem like he won’t help you.

Though, to be fair, he does attempt to step in after Clementine pleads with him the first time.

“Shit. Marlon, come on, man. Drop the gun.”

And Marlon really doesn’t like that.

He snaps out Louis’ name and you see Louis visibly flinch at this. Either this is the first time Marlon’s risen his voice at him like this or it’s not, it’s hard to tell.

“She. Killed. Brody! We can't let her walk away.”

Funny how he says we there...

You can feel how conflicted Louis is here, just like how you can feel Marlon’s control and manipulation at play. Louis wants to believe Marlon, but he’s out here with blood all over his face and waving a gun around. He’s about to shoot Clementine, and that will make him a murderer no matter how you look at it and Louis knows this.

He’s looking at a version of his best friend that he doesn’t recognize, but because he’s scared, it makes Louis backtrack and curl into himself.

“Clem, I... I... I gotta trust Marlon. I just... I gotta. I always have.”

Here, you have two choices:

“He didn't trust you with the truth! He lied to you about the twins. He doesn't deserve your trust.”

“Brody trusted him. And now she's dead. And he killed her!”

Personally, I prefer the first one, but both of these strike a nerve within Louis. He knows she’s right.

Marlon yells at Clementine and gets ready to shoot her, which she accepts by the way she steps back and closes her eyes.

Louis, with both hands up, slowly steps between them, free of Marlon’s control and trying to save both him and Clementine.

Marlon, baffled that he’d ever do this, even moves the gun away as he stares at Louis in disbelief.

Marlon: “You don't know what you're doing, man!”

Louis: “C'mon, dude, just drop the gun. This is how adults do things. Not us.”

Can I just say that Marlon must feel so fucking powerless seeing Louis step up to him like this? Like, with Violet he’s not surprised and not even remotely intimidated by her little meat cleaver, but with Louis? He is not okay.

The others step forward and Marlon knows that he’s lost. Pointing a gun at his best friend? Knowing that if he so much as accidentally squeezed the trigger, Louis would be dead? Everyone has turned against him.

Not great.

You guys know me, you know that I much prefer appealing to Louis over Violet because of the power behind this and how much of an effect it has on Marlon. It’s perfectly executed.

A couple more things to talk about regarding this scene. If you call Marlon pathetic, he says something interesting to Louis.

Clementine: “You're pathetic.”

[Marlon drops his gun]

Marlon: “I know. Always was.”

Louis: “That isn't true.”

Marlon: “No, Louis, it is. You were just the only one who couldn't see it.”

When I say my heart hurts... muh heart hurts. Because this is what their friendship became, they both realize it, and Louis is devastated.

On the flip side, if you say-

Clementine: “We can still fix this, Marlon. It's going to be okay. We can make this right.”

Louis: “We'll help you. We're all family here. The only one any of us has left.”

Which shows that despite everything, Louis does have a little bit of faith left in Marlon and wants to help him, which Marlon feels he doesn’t deserve.

Then AJ shoots Marlon in the head.

And I really, really wish there was an option to just stay in bed to avoid all of this.

Okay.

Louis is a fucking mess after this.

The writers finally said, “Hey, remember when Luke had absolutely no reaction to his best friend’s death in s2? What if we don’t do that this time?”

I don’t want to get too into this because this isn’t a Louis analysis, but let me quickly summarize the affect Marlon’s death had on Louis.

Anyone who was around when Suffer the Children came out remembers all the discourse about Louis. Lot of people pissed at him for being upset. Which fine, you’re allowed to be upset with him because he’s mad at Clementine and AJ, but let me remind you that he just witnessed his best friend of 8+ years being murdered right before his eyes after no longer being a threat and he was powerless to do anything about it.

Marlon’s death hurt and traumatized Louis in so many ways and that’s something we see throughout the episode. Even though Marlon is dead, he continues to have an effect on Louis and everyone at Ericson because of what he did and how he died.

And to clarify, Louis never hated Clementine and AJ for what happened. He just didn’t know what to do. He was overwhelmed, hurt, pissed, and never had time to mourn before raiders came knocking on their doors. He dealt with the fact that his best friend wasn’t who he thought he was and how Marlon hurt everyone at this school, that Marlon was a murderer.

That’s a fucking lot.

And it continues to hurt him through the rest of the season.

Honestly, Louis says everything best:

“You sound like Marlon. I mean, not about fighting, but when he was trying to cheer us all up. For years, I sat around making stupid jokes, playing stupid games, while my best friend was left with all the responsibility. All the tough calls. All the sleepless nights. And eventually, a bullet in the head. And I didn't do a damn thing about it. And then, when you tried to tell us what he was really like, and AJ shot him, I blamed you. Both of you. If I could take it back, I would. I knew that the day you got back. I still do. ...He was my best friend. Almost like my brother, but the things he did? They were fucked up. I'll never be glad he died. But I understand why AJ thought it was the right thing to do.”

[The final confrontation and Marlon’s murder]

“I know I betrayed you... all of you. Just let me leave. You'll never have to see me again. Just let me become...a bad memory. Just give me that. Please.”

The final confrontation is my favorite Marlon moment from a storytelling standpoint.

Just... everything about it. The thunderstorm, the voice acting, Marlon’s complete turn to antagonist and break down, Clementine appealing to Louis/Violet, Rosie barking in the background... it’s just great. It hurts but I love it.

This is where we see Marlon’s manipulation at it’s peak. He knows he’s fucked, but is still so desperate to cling on that he throws everything he can at Clementine. He accuses her of murdering Brody, working with the raiders, takes low blows against everyone, especially Louis and Violet, and goes as far as to point a gun at Clementine with the intention of shooting her.

Because that’ll fix everything... I guess?

Marlon didn’t think this through.

Anyway...

“We saved their lives when anyone else would've kept walking! We fed them, we kept them warm! And this is how they thank us?! Guns being pulled and murder! Well, FUCK! THEM!”

Marlon is broken, his last resort it to try and salvage himself, to win the group’s favor.

“Aw, come the fuck on! They only met up with these ‘raiders’ because Clem insisted they go out there. Quite the coincidence, isn't it? Shame I don't believe in those. Think about how scared we all were when the adults left. I pulled us out of that fear. I gave us all courage again. Who are y'all gonna believe, huh? Johnny-come-lately and her little fucking lunatic? Or me? Your friend?”

He’s pulling out the big guns, reminding everyone that he was the one who pulled them out of their fear and gave them courage, that he’s their friend who they’ve known and trusted for 8+ years while they just met Clementine two days ago.

Who are you going to believe?

As well all know, Clementine takes a risk and appeals to Louis or Violet. I already covered them so we’ll skip ahead to everyone turning on him.

This is when Marlon realizes he’s losing and that anger bubbles up.

“You don't get it. You- you don't understand at all, do you? I'm trying to protect you! All of you! Every fucking one of you!”

And he lashes out, pointing the gun at everyone now, and finally... the truth comes out.

“...I made the right call. I saved the lives of everyone in this fucking school! If they came back... I'd do it again!”

...Yikes.

Now, I’ve talked about this scene in previous parts, said most of what I wanted to say, but there is one thing I haven’t covered, and that’s Tenn.

Tenn: “You told me they died!”

Marlon: “I had to save the rest of you, okay?”

Tenn: “You gave my sisters away. Why would you do something like that? I trusted you, Marlon! THEY trusted you! ....We all trusted you...”

Marlon: “I know... I know..”

Tenn was first introduced along side Marlon and you can tell that he cares about him and is protective. Not only that, but Tenn is comfortable enough to play in Marlon’s office, which is something I assume he does regularly.

It makes me think that Marlon took Tenn under his wing, if you will, after the twins died. Perhaps as some way to try and make himself better, maybe to try and make it up to the twins by swearing to protect him.

Tenn is what gets Marlon to take it down a bit, to explain that he didn’t want to hurt the twins, he just didn’t have any choice. He even admits to Tenn that he was too scared to develop a rescue plan.

You can hear it in his voice when he looks to Tenn and speaks, and Tenn is the one who gets him to confess that he was the one who killed Brody, not Clementine.

Marlon: “I wanted to get them. Stage some kind of rescue. Honest, Tenn. I just couldn't. I was...I was too afraid.”

Tenn: “You killed Brody because she knew?”

Marlon: “Mm-hmm... I didn't mean to. I didn't want this. I wanted to save all of you. Sophie, Minerva. I didn't want to hurt them.”

Which is huge. It wasn’t Clementine, it wasn’t Louis or Violet who got him to confess, it was Tenn. Hearing this boy on the verge of tears tell Marlon that they all trusted him, how could he do this to them... that got through to him.

And I believe Tenn is the one who solidified that Marlon wanted to leave. He didn’t want to stay and see everyone look and treat him differently, see everyone hate him- He couldn’t face Louis, his best friend. He couldn’t face Violet, the girl he betrayed. He couldn’t face Clementine and AJ, couldn’t face everyone he tried to protect.

And he couldn’t face Tenn.

But you know what says a lot about Tenn? If you choose to remain silent after Marlon says he didn’t want to hurt them, he says:

“I forgive you.”

[?] Marlon won’t forget that.

But even with that forgiveness? I don’t Marlon believes he deserves that, especially from Tenn. He grateful Tenn forgave him, but he still feels it’s best that he leaves.

“I know I betrayed you. All of you. Just let me leave. You'll never have to see me again. Just let me become...a bad memory. Just give me that. Please.”

And we all know what happens next.

So... this begs the question... after everything that Marlon did and didn’t do...

Did Marlon deserve his fate?

No.

Marlon didn’t deserve this. That’s the short answer.

In my opinion, AJ was far from justified in what he did.

This is a good time to compare Marlon and Lilly, since that comes up quite a bit. When Lilly surrenders at the end of Broken Toys, she does it to manipulate the situation in her favor and get the upper hand again.

The second you show any sort of kindness towards Lilly, she takes advantage of you because she never saw the error in her ways. She believed every cruel thing she ever did was for a good cause and only ever feels remorse when she loses everyone.

Marlon, on the other hand, genuinely surrendered. This was the first time he gave up his control and accepted what he had done, ready to face the consequences and be outcast from Ericson for his crimes. He dropped his weapon, he was no longer a threat. Marlon no longer had any malicious intent once everyone turned against him.

And the biggest difference between Marlon and Lilly is that Marlon felt that shame since the beginning. He did bad things for the sake of Ericson, but not once did he take pride in what he did to the twins or Brody. He felt nothing but remorse.

Brody’s dead, Sophie and Minerva are gone, and he realizes what he’s become.

The tragedy of Marlon is that his fate was decided by a child who was unable to read the situation for what it was, who took it upon themselves to take Marlon’s life despite the fact that everything was over. Marlon never gets a redemption arc, and maybe he didn’t deserve one. It depends on how you feel.

But for me, he definitely didn’t deserve to be shot in the back of the head like that.

[Final thoughts]

“...It's hard to survive too long these days without being a bit... ‘troubled.’”

Marlon is... complicated.

That’s a good word.

On one hand, he does have some genuine moments where he’s a chill dude looking out for his family and there’s a lot to like about him, but on the other hand... he did a lot of bad shit.

If I had to pick a “problematic fav” within TFS, Marlon would be it.

Like I mentioned previously, I wish we had more interactions with him and Louis, but we did get enough to get the point across.

As for Marlon’s backstory and why he was sent to Ericson, it’s never stated and none of the creators have come forward with information. My theory? That’s a great question.

Most are inclined to believe that he’s there due to anger and behavior problems, but for all we know, that stuff developed over time since I don’t know if someone like that would be put in a leader position. Or maybe it is and he forced himself in, I dunno.

My guess is that it’s something we’d never expect. I don’t know if I have a theory because, well, I don’t exactly feel qualified to diagnose Marlon with something I haven’t done a shit ton of research on, y’know?

Even after writing this and looking through everything... I couldn’t tell you.

I find Marlon to be a compelling character that I wish stuck around longer. He’s an example of a kid who grew up too fast with the lives of his whole community on his shoulders. He was faced with a no-win situation and suffered with every decision made. His desire to control everything around him, to ground him, led to his downfall.

In the end, Marlon expressed sincere guilt for what he did. Apologizing doesn’t magically make everything he did okay, far from it, but it was a step in the right direction. I wish he had the chance at some kind of redemption, but it’s The Walking Dead. Not everyone gets a redemption arc, most get theirs torn from their grasp. Marlon is one of those people.

He had a lot of good qualities that were severely overshadowed by his final moments. I believe he genuinely cared about Ericson and believed he was doing all the right things to protect him. He took things too far, manipulating those closest to him and causing them more pain than he ever thought.

All in all, an enjoyable, complex character.

Want to see more of these long character discussion posts? Let me know! Feel free to send suggestions for characters you’d like me to cover in the future! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this Marlon character discussion/analysis/rant thing! Let me know your thoughts on Marlon!

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theriverpersonshadow · 3 years

Text

Lamia Drama Part 8

WELL THAT GOT LONGER THAN I INTENDED. But I guess that’s what happens when you have a majority of the people in one place XD

I hope this chapter went well... It felt kinda rambly, but it was fun seeing people play off each other. It was hard to get the same level of depth with characters as previous chapters with so many, but hey, interactions are fun too! Hope you guys enjoy.

As always, the species of lamia in this fic belong to @vex-bittys

< PREV | BEGINNING | NEXT >

Keith and the rest found Alex pretty easily. And a few other lamia that were either allowed free roam or had just slipped out. She didn’t seem to notice the onlookers, more caught up in petting Oozy… who wasn’t technically in his hammock. Maybe it’s best he didn’t make that bet with Hux earlier. Sure, Oozy’s close to the hammock, but Hux would absolutely rules lawyer him and demand snacks because he’s not in the hammock. Hux was a rule stickler… when and only when it helped him in some way. Eh, Keith could roll with it though (even if his dice sometimes couldn’t, but that’s what a DM screen is for).

Keith was hesitant to break up the cute moment between the two – Oozy was apparently having the time of his life, and Alex seemed pretty wrapped up in it herself, humming some tune or another while stroking him. Keith listened, trying to place it, but…

She was repeating it, huh? Was that the only part of the song she knew? Then again, it seemed like the good part, whatever it was. Easy enough to pick up too. Keith started humming along.

Hux rolled his eyes, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “great, two of them” and slithered over, “Yo. Girl person. Ya coming or what?”

Alex looked up, “I mean, yeah, I think? Coming where?”

“nooooooooo…” Oozy said, taking her hand and putting it back on his head. “Sorry guys. I’m stealing her. She’s my personal petter now. That’s the rules.”

“Since when?!” Hux said.

Oozy looked a moment, then licked her hand. “I licked her, she’s mine.”

Keith stared at him in shock, not sure whether to laugh or slap him. “Dude.”

Nikolai gave a heavy sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Don’t lick party members. Or people in general.”

“How does that work anyways? You’re a skeleton,” Alex said.

“Maaaagic,” Keith said, wiggling his fingers in emphasis. “In other words, uh… Monster biology is weird. Or half monster biology. Whatever the fuck we are.”

Nikolai nodded, “More or less, yes. I can explain it in more detail later, if you’d prefer.” He started coming forward and Alex inched away. Keith hissed before he could catch himself, but Nikolai didn’t seem offended. Instead, he lowered himself in a bow, “And I’d like to apologize for how I acted earlier… I’ll admit I, erm… Overreacted. But we’ve had issues in the past of people coming in to steal babies or eggs, one of the fools tried to snag a mamba egg and got himself killed. I just get a bit jumpy about strangers around them.”

Alex nodded, relaxing a little, but still staring off at a clock instead of Nikolai. Her hand continued to run across Oozy as she said, “I get it. They’re just little dudes, too freaking small. And some are venomous. Not like you knew me.”

“Still, I should’ve given you more of a chance or at least asked you politely to leave before turning to threat displays,” Nikolai said.

“Eh… It was my fault,” Keith said. “I should’ve warned ya I was bringing someone in. Anyways, let’s try this again. Alex, this is Nikolai. He could probably fuck you up, but he’s everyone’s mom.”

Nikolai made no move to deny it.

“Hux here is the grumpy snake. He’ll warm up to ya.”

“No I won’t.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “He’s just a grump.”

Hux mumbled to himself.

“I think you’ve met Oozy pretty well by now.”

“Sup,” Oozy said, making absolutely zero movement.

“And, erm… Nikolai, you’ve got Trousle, right.”

“Hello human! I’m Trousle! Please let me say hi.” Said Trousle’s little speaker. He was poking out from Nikolai’s sleeve, apparently wrapped around his arm.

“He’s mute, but he’s pretty fast at typing. Got his own phone and everything,” Keith said, watching this girl intently. Apparent soulmate or not, if she was dick about Trousle, she was out of here. She might’ve earned Oozy’s enthusiastic (well… enthusiastic by his standards, dude looked like a kid in a candy store, but the world’s laziest kid) approval, but he wasn’t going to let an asshole mess with the little dude. Hux would warm up, that was more him being a bit of an ass than her, but he’d get over it… probably.

“Oh that’s cool! Do you have a phone number? Honestly I think my fingers work better than my mouth sometimes, but I guess talking out loud doesn’t really have a backspace key? But yeah! C’mere… Wait, I can hold him, right? Snakes are just, like, noodle puppies.” She paused, looking at everyone in the room. “I’d offer to hold you guys, but I am literally the second smallest person in here. I mean, guess we can try, but I don’t think it’ll go well?”

Keith snorted. Gosh, she was something, huh? A little awkward, but who wouldn’t be super awkward in this situation?

Nikolai brought Trousle over and she draped him around her neck. He nuzzled her cheek, giving her little scratches behind the ear.

… should someone tell him that she’s not a dog?

…

Naaaaaaaaaah. She didn’t seem to mind anyways,

Hux made a fake-gagging gesture at the two and Keith rolled his eyes, whispering at them, “Oh let’em have this. It’s cute.”

“I’m getting diabetes. Like, right now. They’re just beaming diabetes across the room.”

“Be nice,” Nikolai said, “It’s not going to kill you to have to actually smile at a human once in a while.”

“Yes it will. It’s, like, a terminal thing. If I smile at a human, I will instantly turn to dust.”

No such condition had ever existed and likely never would.

Keith’s first instinct was to back up Nikolai, but it was almost an in-joke that he’d at least try to defend Hux no matter how clearly in the wrong the guy was. Admittedly, it was as often as not either due to boredom or just feeling bad for the guy…

It’s not like Hux didn’t have a point – a point that he had iterated in frustrated, sometimes tear-filled tirades at least a few dozen times. He didn’t want to be treated like a pet, he’s allowed to not want to be a pet. Sure, not every adopter is like that. Some might’ve been looking for pets, yeah, but just as many want a kid or a friend, especially with full sized lamia. It could be more or less just like adopting any other monster, save for needing a good deal more raw meat. But Hux didn’t see it that way… Not that Keith ever blamed him. There wasn’t a huge market for full-sized Corals, their reputation as being stubborn, a bit lazy, and tsundere as hell was cute in something you could pick up and snuggle as it chirped indignantly and secretly enjoyed it – like an extra intelligent, reptilian cat – but less so when it was just as big as you and probably stronger. Everyone wanted a housecat, no one wanted a mountain lion. Or those that did need something to growl and hiss would probably pick Kings or Mambas.

Nikolai gave a long-suffering sigh, “You will not turn to dust if you’re forced to be nice every now and then.”

“Yeah I will. It’ll, like, strangle my soul or some shit. Keith, back me up here. Tell ‘im.”

Nikolai had the distinct impression of a haggard mom trying to reason with an unruly kid. He just looked so done. Dude could handle customers, angry mamba moms, being a jungle gym for babies, and training employees who may or may not have believed he knew he what he was doing, but Hux was his breaking point.

Keith stifled a chuckle, stuffing his hands in his pockets as his mind worked over what to do… He didn’t want to just abandon Hux – Nikolai would know it was just him being a loyal bro – but Alex wouldn’t. She might not’ve been looking at them, but he caught the way she kept glancing over…

“Welp, ya heard him. He’s sick. I prescribe ten CC’s of coffee with extra sugar and bribery with shiny objects.”

Hux’s head popped up, body at attention. “I’m listening… How many shiny objects are we talking.”

“… we’re not bribing him.”

“I’ve got extra dice?” Alex said hesitantly. Trousle was looking at her in concern, patting her face. She said, “I mean, I kinda like having all my dice, but I guess I don’t need seven sets… I’m keeping the black ones though, they’re good for fight scenes. And the orange ones, they were my first set ever and are not for sale. Also, the green and purple ones are just a fae vibe, I’m keeping them. They’re just average, but I like them.” Pause. “And the lesbian dice are mine. They won’t like you anyways, you’re a boy.”

All of them nodded understandingly. You could only play DnD so long and not get irrationally attached to the colorful little click clack rocks of fate.

“That counts as one shiny object,” Hux said.

“There are seven in each set!” Pause. “Well, more or less. I’ve lost some over the years.”

“You’ve got a point… More dice for the dice dragon! Mwahahahah!” Hux said, hamming it up.

Keith’s mouth twitched into a grin as he shook his head at the goof. How was he this cute? Just… goober. His friend is a total goof sometimes.

“Can I try the lesbian dice?” Trousle asked, holding himself at an awkward position to type.

“I… I guess? Just give them back after…” Alex said. She ran a finger across Trousle’s head, smiling as he let out little breathy attempts to “Nyeh.”

“Why are they lesbians anyways? Do they only work for girls?” Nikolai said.

“Here, lemme show you.” She unzipped one of the pouches on her bag and brought out a baggy full of dice that were lesbian flag colored. “My friend got them for me for Christmas.”

“That’s amazing. I want twelve,” Keith said.

“You’re not a lesbian… or a girl! I think… I mean, if there’s something you want to tell us, that’s fine, but I was under the impression you weren’t even interested in relationships,” Nikolai said.

“Maybe I could get, like… Dice that are for people who are just no.”

“Ace and aro. Probably,” Alex said.

“Oh cool. Words for it. Nice!”

“Give me words for friends with everyone! I want a flag too!”

“I… I don’t know if there’s a flag for that? Maybe we could put a dog on a flag? It’d be hard to make dice with dogs on them though,” Alex said.

“Ya could put a little dog face on every side and interpret the roll based on how much they’re a Good Boy,” Keith said.

“That would only roll Nat 20’s,” Alex said, deadpan.

“… good point. It could be the luckiest dice,” Keith said, grinning.

“I AM THE GOODEST BOY. Give me dog dice.” Trousle said, tucking the phone away to throw his little fists in the air, a gleam in his eye as he sat on Alex’s head.

Keith laughed. “Oh my gosh. I mean, that sounds adorable, but, uh… I think that miiiiight be a little too game breaking, even for me.”

“Give me dog dice.” He slithered back down to around Alex’s neck, holding himself out towards Keith the best he could and giving some mix between a glare and a pout.

“Trousle no.”

“Trousle YES,” Alex said.

Troulse nodded enthusiastically, bouncing in place so hard that he fell off and Alex yelped as she caught him.

“Are you alright?!”

Trousle gave a thumbs up, coiling around her arm.

Oozy had apparently fallen asleep on the floor, so Hux poked him with a stick, making Oozy whine. “Soooooo… Are we gonna get Glitterass, or are we just shadow banning him from this? I mean, I wouldn’t say no if we are…”

“We should probably go get him, yeah,” Keith said. “Ya ready Alex? Liam’s a mamba, and one of his eyes don’t work. Try to stay on his good side, literally. Metaphorically too if you want, but he doesn’t like having people where he can’t see or hear them well.” Not that anyone would like that, just courtesy really, but maybe not something you’d think of immediately.

Alex nodded, “Alright, let’s go!”

#Lamia Drama #Lamia Drama Part 8 #Keith #Hux #Nikolai #Oozy #Trousle #Keith the Chain #Hux the Coral #Nikolai the King #Oozy the Corny #Trousle the Papython #Bittybones #Lamia Bitties #Vex-Bitties #Longass chapter #I meant to have liam here too but guess not #Kinda rambly

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abused-sides · 4 years

Note

Could you write maybe a short angst/fluff thing about them discovering each others triggers and talking about them and how to avoid them? (My family and the people around me dont really respect mine so this is kinda just a request for me to project onto 😅 you absolutely dont have to tho)

fuck your family we’re your family now

Trigger warning: This au follows the sides as abuse survivors.

Other tws for: Yelling, arguments, passive aggression, non-censored homophobic slur used to talk about oneself, sl*t used in a joking and literally not at all degrading/mean manner also non-censored, drama violence (like reading a script), flashback/panic attack, ableism off screen, throw up mention, allergies mention, glass breaking, lmk if i missed anything! <3

enjoy the hurt/comfort lol it took me like an hour and a half xD

Edit: love when it just doesn’t fucking add the read more :) sorry about that guys

Virgil:

-While Virgil was helping Patton fix dinner, Roman and Logan started an argument at the table. Logan was upset that Roman hadn’t finished his chore list for the week, but Roman insisted that he would finish it and he just needed some extra time to work on commissions.

-Logan: We all have jobs, Roman, we still manage to get our chores done! This place is a mess half of the time and that’s largely due to you neglecting the list.

-Roman: Why are you acting like some weekly chore list is worth more than our jobs? Isn’t that why we moved in together, to pursue our passions?

-Logan: How are we meant to do that when we’re living in a mess?

-Roman: You’re completely overreacting.

-Logan: Fine. You’re right. I’ll just do everything. Sorry to be a bother.

-Virgil had slipped away from his job chopping vegetables to glance at the missing items on Roman’s chore list. The first one read sweep and mop the floors. He silently took the broom from its spot between the fridge and the counter, and worked on piling up the mess on the floor.

-Logan was about to storm out of the room, when he noticed Virgil.

-Logan: Are you okay?

-Virgil: Hm? I’m fine.

-Logan: You’re shaking.

-Patton: Of course he’s shaking. Would it kill you two to be nicer to each other?

-Realization dawned on Logan’s face. He bit his lip as he thought, and then turned to Roman.

-Logan: I don’t like it when you neglect your chore list. I understand you’re busy, but it makes life harder for all of us.

-Virgil stopped sweeping, looking at Logan in confusion.

-Roman was just as confused.

-Roman: I... Yeah, I got that, weirdo.

-Logan: I want to make sure there’s no confusion. Do you have anything you want to say to me?

-Roman’s eyes flicked between Virgil- Shaking, gripping the broom, staring at them with wide eyes -and nodded slowly.

-Roman: Some weeks I can’t complete the entire chore list. Finishing my commissions are more important. The kitchen can be cleaned later.

-Patton: And I can help! I don’t mind chipping in on chores.

-Logan: I can live with that. I’m going to my room.

-After that, there was an unspoken agreement to state things plainly, especially when fighting, and to try and keep the yelling at a minimum. Janus and Remus may have appreciated it even more than Virgil did.

Patton:

-Janus and Remus were visiting for a movie night, and they were still setting up. Patton fussed over the organization of the snack table, Roman over who sat where.

-Remus: I’ve got my seat!

-He flopped into Janus’ lap, who grunted.

-Janus: Jesus Christ, babe.

-Logan: You two are so...

-Remus: What? Sexy?

-Logan: No... Not the word I’m looking for.

-Remus: A cute couple of boys?

-Logan fought not to laugh.

-Logan: No... Not that, either.

-Remus: Just an attractive pair of young faggots?

-While Logan, Roman, and Janus burst out laughing, Patton choked. He covered his mouth and tried to recover, but the others laughing quickly died down.

-Virgil: *softly* Patton? Are you okay?

-Patton: I’m fine.

-He forced a weak smile.

-Patton: Are we ready for the movie?

-Remus: You look like you’re going to be sick. Is it something I said?

-Patton: It’s not a big deal-

-Janus: Bullshit. Tell us. What, Remus calling us faggots? It’s okay to laugh, we know we are.

-Patton didn’t take the bait, shakily sitting down. Janus’ grin faded.

-Patton: I just... I don’t like that word too much, I guess. It, um...

-Virgil: *quietly* Bad memories?

-Patton nodded quickly.

-Remus: Jesus! You should have told me! I’m sorry, Pat-A-Cake! I guess Janny and I have just been calling each other that for so long, I forgot it bothers some people.

-Janus: Yeah, um, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have encouraged it, it wasn’t very-

-Patton: Guys, stop. You don’t have to apologize, okay? I’m okay.

-Roman opened his arms with a soft smile. Patton sighed happily and crawled into his lap, his back against Roman’s chest.

-Remus: So what can I say instead? Slu-

-Janus slapped his hand over Remus’ mouth.

-Janus: Why don’t you just try behaving?

-Patton: *laughing* No, I’m actually pretty used to that one. Roman can’t see a cute boy without calling himself that.

-Remus: Perfect. Was that the word you were looking for, Logan? Just a bunch of cute little sluts?

-Logan slapped his hand to his forehead.

-Logan: *dryly* That’s exactly the word I was looking for.

Logan:

-The morning was a busy one. Logan had three projects due that he’d somehow neglected, Roman had two auditions, Patton had an increase in orders to pass out, and Virgil had an interview for an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlour.

-Everyone raced around the kitchen-- No time for a family breakfast today. Logan banged at the coffee maker as it went painfully slow, Patton trying to carefully package a box of cupcakes. Roman slid between the two of them to get to the fridge, nearly tripping over Logan’s feet.

-Roman: Hey, watch out! Tryna get out the door here!

-Logan stiffened.

-Logan: Apologies, Roman.

-Roman looked at him in confusion at the formal tone, but shook it off and grabbed his water bottle so he could race out the door. Soon, the apartment was empty, everyone left to their respective tasks.

-Logan didn’t come home for a while.

-Patton left a sticky note on Logan’s door to say his dinner was packed up in the fridge for whenever he wanted it, but couldn’t stop feeling worried. He stayed up until 4am on the couch watching cartoons, eventually passing out.

-When Logan still wasn’t home in the morning, Roman carried Patton to bed and stormed across the hall.

-He rapped loudly on the door. It swung open a moment later, revealing the tired, angry face of his brother.

-Remus: What do you want?

-Roman: Is Logan with you?

-Remus: Well, I know where he’s not.

-Roman: I’m not fucking around. Just tell me-- We’re worried about him!

-Remus arched an eyebrow, a sick grin spreading across his face.

-Remus: *whispering* Are you now?

-Roman: What’s going on? Is he okay?

-Remus: *voice still hushed* You would think out of all of us, you and I would know better. You and I would know exactly what to say to make someone feel worthless. The difference is, it’s usually me who says it, and you who avoids it.

-Roman: I don’t get it. What did I say? Did I hurt him?

-Remus: He feels like a waste of space in his own home!

-Roman pushed past Remus into the apartment, finding Logan asleep, Janus curled around him protectively.

-Roman: Logan!

-Logan and Janus both startled awake. Janus glared and hissed.

-Roman: My God, why didn’t you tell anyone you weren’t coming home? We were so worried! Patton stayed up all night waiting for you! Why was your phone off?!

-Logan frowned in confusion and sat up, self-consciously scooting away from Janus and brushing his arm away. He found his glasses and put them on.

-Logan: What? I just figured, the apartment seemed cramped lately, people were getting cranky. Janus and Remus offered to let me stay before in the past, so I thought I might give you all some space.

-Roman shook his head wildly.

-Roman: Why would you think that? You scared us! Dinner’s still waiting for you in the fridge, and- and you could have at least called us to let us know!

-Logan fought not to shrink in on himself. He was silent for a while, before he said, quietly, confused, “I thought this was what you wanted.”

-Roman: No. Where did you-

-Roman paused.

-He felt so stupid.

-Roman: No- God, Logan, I’m so... I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry I ran into you, and then...

-Janus and Remus looked at Logan, waiting his response before reacting.

-Logan: It’s okay, Roman. I guess I just got confused. Has Patton started on breakfast yet?

-Roman: No, he’s asleep.

-Logan: I’ll make breakfast. I’ll be there in five minutes.

-Remus gripped Roman’s shoulder.

-Remus: I’ll show you out.

Roman:

-Roman and Remus were in the main four’s living room, scripts in each hand. Roman had asked Remus’ help in reading lines for a scene, and they had both gotten way too into it.

-Patton: Be careful with my throw pills! My sister stitched those!

-Remus cackled maniaclly from his position on the couch, a plastic sword held at Roman’s throat.

-Remus: Now what did I tell you?!

-Roman, on his knees on the carpet, faked a pained groan.

-Roman: It’s not true.

-Remus: Still thinking that, huh? What do I have to do to get it through your head? Beat it out of you?!

-Remus lurched forward with his fake sword.

-Roman’s heart stopped, the blood drained from his face, and he threw himself away from Remus’ advance. He fell back, nearly knocking his head against the coffee table they moved, crossing his arms in front of his face.

-Remus: Roman? *nervous laughter* Come on, I know I’m not that good an actor. Are you... Okay?

-Roman shakily lowered his arms, staring at Remus with wide, paranoid eyes. He gasped for breath.

-Patton jumped up from the kitchen table and raced into the living room. Remus caught Patton by the waist as Roman flinched and covered his face again.

-Patton’s eyes welled up.

-Patton: Roman? Roman, what’s wrong?

-Remus: *mumbling* Go sit on the couch, I’ll wave you over.

-Patton didn’t want to, but he listened. Remus sat on the ground, plenty of space between him and his brother.

-Remus: Ro? I need you to look around, tell me five things you can see.

-Roman: Stained- Stained glass.

-Remus: There’s no stained glass here. Look around, harder. What do you see?

-Roman: Your stupid mustache.

-Remus: *laughing* Yeah, that’s good. What else?

-Roman: Um... Um- The- The carpet.

-Remus: What colour is the carpet?

-Roman: Green- No. No, it’s beige.

-Roman ran his fingers along the beige carpet, trying to control his breathing.

-Remus: That’s good. Three more.

-Roman: I see Patton. Um, his glasses. There’s flour on his hands. Does that count?

-Remus: Sounds like five to me. Four things you can touch?

-Roman: Carpet. Um, my shirt. The table. Y-You?

-Remus scooted forward slowly and opened his arms for Roman to curl into. Remus held him tight, his chin rested on Roman’s shoulder.

-Remus: Tell me three things you can hear.

-Roman: Your heartbeat. Patton crying- Patton, please, love, I’m okay.

-Patton: I- I know. I’m sorry. I just- I know.

-Roman: Patton’s voice.

-Remus: Two things you can smell.

-Roman: That awful deodorant you use. And Janus, for some reason.

-Remus: One thing you can taste?

-Roman: Salt.

-Remus: You back in the present now?

-Roman buried his face in Remus’ chest. Remus held him tightly and waved Patton over. Patton staggered to his feet and Remus gently transferred Roman to curl in Patton’s lap, who cooed in his ear and kissed over the side of his face. Remus quietly slipped out of the apartment.

Remus:

-Janus: Remus? What’s wrong?

-Remus didn’t answer, slamming the door shut and headed straight for the bathroom. The water turned on a moment later.

-Janus looked through Remus’ drawer for his meds and counted them carefully. He’d taken his dosages. He settled against the headboard and waited for Remus to finish showering.

-About an hour later, Janus was startled awake to a wet pressure on his chest.

-Janus: *mumbling* Ew. You couldn’t have dried off? Got dressed?

-Remus looked up at him with wide, teary eyes. Janus raked his fingers through Remus’ hair and kissed his forehead.

-Remus: It doesn’t matter.

-Janus: It does. Was it that bitch again?

-Remus: She is a bitch.

-Janus: Exactly. What’d she say this time?

-Remus settled back against Janus’ chest.

-Remus: *mumbling* It doesn’t matter. She’s right.

-Janus: I doubt she’s ever been right about anything in her life, especially my Remus. So what did she say? I need to prove her wrong. Proving people wrong is kind of my thing.

-Remus let out a breathy laugh.

-Remus: I got upset again. A family told her about their child’s allergy, and she didn’t tell me. I made the dish normally and the girl threw up and had to go home. I started yelling, because I mean I was freaking out, what if I’d killed her? If it was a more severe allergy, she- she couldn’t have been older than seven, it could have killed her just being on the table, and- and-

-Janus: Hey, baby, take a second to breathe. Just breathe with me for a second, okay?

-Janus took in a deep breath, his chest raising and lowering Remus gently as he followed the pattern.

-Remus: She told me to stop worrying about it, that I was delusional. She asked if I remembered my meds. She said I was overreacting.

-Janus’ hold on Remus tightened as hatred boiled in his stomach.

-Janus: I’m going to get that bitch fired.

-Remus: Janus, no, I probably-

-Janus: You did not overreact. She didn’t tell you, and not only could that have killed the girl, it could have ruined your life. We can’t afford a good lawyer, they would pin it on you and shove it under the rug. And you’re not fucking delusional.

-Remus: I do... Have... Delusions...?

-Janus: That doesn’t have anything to do with this!

-Remus laughed weakly.

-Janus: Yeah, you have delusions that the girl on the fifth floor runs a meth lab, and that someone lives in the basement, but that- That was not a delusion. She should be put in jail!

-Remus raised his head and kissed Janus softly. He nuzzled into his neck, and Janus hugged him tight.

-Janus: I checked your meds. You’re completely caught up.

-Remus: I know.

-Janus: And you’re not crazy.

-Remus: I know.

-Janus: And I love you.

-Remus: I know. I love you, too.

Janus:

-Janus had snuck into the other apartment to see if Patton had any leftovers from his last orders. The others were asleep, but he knew they wouldn’t care. Patton left notes on the things no one could touch.

-He found a small plate of assorted cookies with no warning, and settled at the table to eat a few.

-On his way to put them back, someone on the floor above them screamed a string of curses, and a door slammed. Janus flinched, his shaky hands loosing hold of the plate. His heart dropped as it shattered along the tile.

-He couldn’t breathe.

-Clean it up and leave, go, now!

-Hurry up! Before someone finds you!

-Don’t worry about clean up, just go! You weren’t here!

-Logan: Janus?

-Janus’ head snapped up. He spoke before thinking about the words coming out.

-Janus: I just got here. I don’t know what happened, I was about to clean it up. It wasn’t me.

-Logan raised an eyebrow, eyes sleepy.

-Logan: *flatly* Really?

-That was the worst lie you’ve ever told in your life.

-His stomach coiled in embarrassment. He forced up a smile.

-Janus: I know what it looks like. But I assure you, it wasn’t me.

-He reached for the broom, but Logan carefully stepped over the glass and grabbed Janus’ wrist.

-Logan: Janus-

-Janus: *gasping* I’m sorry! It wasn’t me!

-Logan: Janus. I’m not angry! What’s the matter?

-Janus hesitantly met Logan’s eyes. Logan’s soft, worried eyes.

-Logan: You know I would never hurt you.

-Janus: Of course.

-Logan: I’ll clean this up. Do you... Want to stay over?

-Janus’ heart stuttered.

-Janus: If you want me to, I suppose I could stomach it.

-Logan smiled a little.

-Logan: You suppose?

-Janus: I suppose.

-Logan: I’ll meet you in there.

-Janus’ heartrate had slowly gone back to normal as he laid in Logan’s bed. A few minutes later, Logan slipped in behind him, hesitantly resting a hand on Janus’ hip.

-Janus rolled over and pulled Logan into his arms. Logan sighed in content, nuzzling into his chest.

-Janus: I didn’t break the plate.

-Logan: It doesn’t matter who broke the plate.

#virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #deceit sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #roommates au #abuse tw #abuse mention

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forkanna · 3 years

Link

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

"Come on, don't be mad," Rise insisted for the hundredth time as they waited for the train to come through. They had been there for a few minutes, bags in hands and feet impatient. At least they a few CDs apiece, and a poster that Rise hoped would do for Chie's gift, even though it was Bruce Lee's Enter The Dragon instead of Sonny-Sammy-whoever.

"Why not? My feelings are just as valid as yours."

"And it wasn't my fault! Like, you heard me try to tell him I didn't want any attention!"

"False modesty. I mean, I bet you say shit like that all the time, just so you look like a precious little princess."

The train going the opposite way whipped past, and she watched Ai's pink dress flutter for a moment until the din died down. Then she said in a quiet voice, "You want to be left alone? I will leave you alone. I just don't think that's what you really want."

"You were going to ditch me anyway. What does Risette want with some small-town teen queen when she's Japan's teen queen? It would happen sooner or later."

"Do you want me to apologise for your friend getting star-struck?"

"He was my friend first. And I mean, not that we're close, just that he's someone I-"

"Because I won't."

Ai blinked a couple of times before turning to look at her properly. "What did you just say?"

"I'm not going to apologise," Rise repeated firmly, her own features severe and intense now. "Remember me telling you I didn't even submit my first idol contest application myself? I never asked for all this. I have enjoyed it, sure — who wouldn't? But it's not 'my fault' people go crazy for celebs. Besides, I even tried to tell that guy not to make a big deal, to just let me hang out with my friend, and he kept fangirling anyway. My input clearly doesn't matter, so I am taking zero responsibility for him being an otaku. Do you understand?"

The other girl looked completely thunderstruck. In fact, she had no words. The train arrived shortly afterward, and they both got on without speaking, grasping for overhead straps as the doors slid shut.

It wasn't until they got off at the Yasoinaba station and Rise had started striding for the steps, feeling like a failure, that she felt her hand grasped from behind. She turned to slap whatever creep had grabbed her, but the creep was Ai, so she decided not to hit her. Yet.

"What?" No answer. Ai was too busy staring down at the space between their shoes. "Come on, it's getting late… I can still work a shift at Marukyu if you let me g-"

"I'm sorry!" she burst out, then cleared her throat to try again. "I apologise, Rise."

"What?"

"Shut up, don't make me say it again. I overreacted and I already feel stupid."

Cranking up the bubbliness to eleven, she gushed, "Oh noooo, I don't think I heard you at aaaaalllllll. What was that, Ebi-chaaaan?"

"Sh-shut UP!"

"Do you wuv meeeeee?" This time, Ai did yank her hand away and begin to stomp off down the steps, leaving a giggling Rise to chase after her.

"Like you said, have fun at Marukyu."

"You were a meanie," she told her, still laughing just a little. "I think I get to tease you a little."

"I don't like it. And I have explained why."

"Yeah. Your grade school classmates weren't teasing you, though. They were mocking you."

"Same fucking difference."

Jogging to walk side-by-side with her, despite Ai occasionally picking up speed to try and outstrip the idol, she went on, "Not really. Friends tease. Bullies mock… or sometimes hurt you physically. Did you ever get hurt like that?"

"Well… yeah, I did. But it's been a while. I mean, certainly not since elementary."

"Well that's good. I'll try not to tease you too much, but like, it's not going to work if I can't tease you. Because friends do that, and leaving that out would make this kinda fake. Right?"

Ai raised an eyebrow and glanced over at her. "I… do not follow that logic at all. You're weird."

"I'm not," she giggled, leaning down to smile up at her. "C'mon, it's fun. And I promise-promise I'll try to keep an eye on it so I don't make you feel really bad, and you might even get used to it. And that might help you with that 'everybody's tone is mocking' thing you feel."

"So let me get this straight. You think by teasing me, you're doing me a favour by desensitising me to people being jerks?"

"Right!"

"And that's 'friendship'? Putting me through that gauntlet?"

"Yup! I'm pretty great, right? My generosity is limitless!"

Finally, the grumpy girl laughed as they got to the bus stop, plopping down on the bench with their bags next to their feet. "Whatever. You're insane."

"Maybe. Or maybe I'm amazing and it just looks insane."

"Two sides of the same coin."

"So… I didn't wanna ask in front of 'the expert', but what was all that in the CD store? You two were off in your own little world there."

Ai's face was already flushed from being annoyed earlier, and all that power-walking. But it definitely didn't get any less rosy as she fidgeted, playing with the hem of her dress. "That's… it's stupid."

"Might be. But we're friends, we have to share stupid interests and stuff."

"You're really starting to be a pain with this 'friend' thing all the time." But Rise was patient. And eventually… "It's… something left over from my mother."

"Your mother?"

"Yes. She, um, she used to really love those old city pop singers; had so many records. Her fave was Mariya Takeuchi; just had really fond memories from her childhood, and she used to play them for me all the time."

A sinking feeling settled into the pit of her stomach. "Your mom… is she, u-um…?"

"Hm? No, she's alive. Probably." Ai looked extremely conflicted for a moment before heaving a deep sigh. "She moved out at the beginning of last year."

"Moved out? Like… a divorce?"

"Not officially. Yet. But it seems like it's going to be a matter of time." When Rise opened her mouth to reply, she was quick to cut her off. "Look. After my dad got rich overnight, I wasn't the only one who changed. We all did. But my mother seemed to resent it, even though we were all different afterward — including her hypocritical ass. Said she couldn't stay in the house with her b- with us, because we were like strangers now. And I…"

Rise gave her a few seconds to finish the thought. When she didn't, she reached over with her free hand to take up Ai's in a gentle grip. That seemed to encourage her to continue.

"It's my fault. For changing too much, for no longer being the child she raised. And I got so angry with her, said a lot of things I can never take back… I drove her away. Like I tried to do to you. So you see? Might as well ditch me now before I treat you like shit one day."

As if she hadn't already. But saying that was not productive, so she focused on the subject at hand. "Hey… I don't think that's right." When the other girl began to sigh, she pushed on, "No, listen. She's your mom, right? She's the adult — her and your dad, I mean. Of course if she's telling you she doesn't like how you have changed because you're growing up, like, you're gonna get mad. She's supposed to be the one who can figure out you're just mad and you'll get over it, or whatever."

"That sounds great, but I don't think it works that way in the real world."

"Maybe not this time, but it's how it's supposed to work. So don't go around hating on yourself for something she needed to do better."

Finally seeming to realize her hand was being held, she turned to blink at her new friend, brow furrowed. "I don't… know… I guess I wasn't expecting you to be this… genuinely…"

"Awesome?" she attempted with a small smile as the bus arrived. "Pretty? Hot as hell?"

"Nice. Even to a huge bitch like me."

Once they had both paid their fare and chosen a seat in the back, Rise whispered, "Listen. We're going to have to get used to each other. But we should probably get to know each other if we really want a shot at that." She chewed on her thoughts for a moment as they rode into Inaba. "Mmmm, did you know I actually really like helping out at Marukyu?"

"Hadn't really thought about it." After a second, she relented, "Okay, I guess I thought it was just some kind of PR stunt. But don't read too much into that."

"You're fine," she giggled as she snaked her arm around Ebihara's elbow, ignoring the fresh twitch it earned her. "But yeah, it's probably weird, but I actually really enjoy frying up the ganmodoki myself. Getting my hands dirty, helping clean up, straighten up, checking on my grandma…"

Though Ai had been ramrod straight like a tin soldier ever since they linked arms, she slowly began to relax the more she listened to Rise. "Well yeah, I guess I get that. She's family and you probably missed her while you were off dazzling the world."

"The world? Please. I mean, I do have a handful of fans in Korea and China, but none any further than that. I'm not that special."

"You are. They just can't see it past the language barrier."

"Awwwww…"

"I regret everything," she grumbled. But of course, Rise was still giggling as they slipped off the bus and onto the sidewalk, a lot closer to their sleepy little city.

"Hey, can I come over and listen to my CD at your place? I don't have a CD player anymore."

"Then… why did you buy- never mind. You probably have even more disposable income than I do."

Rolling her eyes, she bumped Ai just enough so that they both stumbled the tiniest bit. "Dork! I only accepted because he was so happy to be doing us a favor. And I figured hey, I might as well pick something I wanted instead of just a couple of random CDs I didn't care about. These are souvenirs now."

"Ah yes. Souvenirs of the time you had to put up with a raging harpy."

"Wow! Like, you really only have two modes, don't you? 'Meanie' and 'Depression Fest 2012'."

But apparently, that had been the wrong thing to say. Rise was just trying to tease like she always did; it was part of her job. The more she teased, the more she played, the more fun people had. The more fun they had, the better mood they were in. The better their mood, the more likely they were to capitulate to whatever the terms were — those of her manager, or herself. And it had all worked out, because she wanted friends so badly and everyone around seemed to become her friend when she treated them that way. Even if the friendships didn't last.

But this time, it silenced Ai so completely that she found herself checking on her every few seconds as they walked along. What did she say? Had it really been that much worse than anything else so far? Eventually, she wound up stopping to pull her into a gentle hug.

"God… it's not- you don't have to do that."

"I'm sorry. You know I'm playing with you, right? Just playing! But if I'm really hurting you…"

Ai shook her head and dropped her bags so she could cling to her, burying her face in those mauve locks. "Shhh, you're fine. I… you don't have to do this. Any of it. But you're not screwing up as bad as you think you are, I'm just a bitch. Sorry for all these constant reminders."

"It's okay." Especially because Ai was so warm. This hug nearly undid all of the pain and strife they had put each other through over the course of a scant few total hours they had spent in each other's company.

And Rise didn't seem to be the only one who thought as much. Those arms tightened on her back, practically clinging to her as they soaked up each other's warmth. Why did this feel so right? They were all wrong for each other as friends, if all their bickering was any indication, yet a simple hug was like a dream come true. Ai smelled so good, expensive perfume mingling with soft skin just on the other side of that dress.

Even though the lace on Ai's choker was tickling her nose. Eventually, that made it twitch, and then she giggled as she shivered in an attempt to suppress a reaction.

"What?" Ai asked, confused.

"The lace tickled. You wear that thing all the time and I don't know why." It prompted a quiet sigh from the taller girl, so Rise skipped backward, hands in the small of her back. Maintaining a high energy level for their day might distract her from whatever demons she was battling internally. "C'mon! I'll race you to Junes!"

"Wha- hey, wait a minute, what about our bags? You don't expect me to carry all this!"

Maybe part of her motivation for taking off running and leaving Ai to carry all of their purchases was to instill a little more humility in the prissy girl. Or maybe she just wanted to do something carefree. Either way, her friend did scoop up the bags before taking off running after her.

~ o ~

"NOOOOO, give it back!"

"We've had enough of this weird thing!" Chie cackled as she ran away with Teddie's bear mascot head, holding it aloft while the blond boy himself chased after her. Rise leaned back in the food court chair and laughed her head off. Yes, she knew the head meant a lot more to him than just part of some costume; they all knew that, except for Ebihara. But he had been up to his usual mischief, saying he was going to "score" with Yukiko simply because she let him have some of her french fries. He obviously spent a little too much time listening to Yosuke.

"You guys are too much," Kanji sighed, face-palming as he leaned heavily against the table. But he didn't do anything to stop Chie and Yosuke throwing it back and forth, either.

"I have to say, this is a bizarre group of people to have come together," Ai commented as she sipped at her smoothie. Maybe she still wasn't ordering a ton of junk food, but she had insisted that a smoothie was really "cheating on her diet" considering that before she had met Narukami, she probably would have ordered a diet soda and no more. Their bags were stashed under their chairs until they headed home later — except for the poster. That was safely tucked beneath Yukiko's chair, once all the excessive bowing and thanking was over with, and Rise had refused to accept any money from her. She was just happy to help out her friends.

"I suppose so," Naoto conceded with a sage nod, hand at her chin as always. "From the outside looking in, it would seem strange to anyone."

"So how did you all meet, then? Bizarre multi-grade class project?"

There was definitely a pause. None of them were quite sure what excuse to come up with; only that they had to think of something to tell her that didn't involve supernatural hijinks. That would only send the average person running for the hills.

"Remember the Midnight Channel?" Yukiko began.

"Yukiko!" Kanji blustered. But she forged ahead, undeterred, and Rise felt her thighs clench beneath the tabletop. Moment of truth…

"Well, that murderer who killed Miss Yamano and the others? We knew he was somehow using the TVs to announce his next victims. Not only that, but my own kidnapping made it impossible to ignore for all of us; myself, obviously, but Chie and the others couldn't just wait for someone else to put a stop to it once our friends were becoming targets. We started investigating on our own since the police didn't seem to have any leads. And when Naoto-kun came to town and began to work with the police directly, we all sort of… found each other, thanks to that common goal."

Wow. Ai wasn't the only one dumbfounded; the others at the table found themselves impressed that she had come up with such a believable almost-truth on the spur of the moment like that.

"Th-that's amazing," Ai finally said, still blinking rapidly to try and dispel her shock. "I didn't know the rest of you were also detectives."

"Not very good ones," Rise provided with a little awkward laugh. "But all of us putting our heads together, we were finally able to figure out it was that creep Adachi. The power of teamwork!"

"Hey, you don't have to keep calling her 'Naoto-kun'," Kanji suddenly said with a slight frown at Yukiko. "We know she's a chick now, don't be disrespectful."

While Yukiko was looking regretful and beginning to bow to offer an apology, Naoto smiled and patted the tall boy on the bicep. "It's fine. In fact, I'm much more comfortable with that than I ever could be with something feminine like 'Nao-chan'. Just doesn't suit me."

Even as Rise was calling out "NAO-CHAAAAAAAAAAN" in a loud, carrying voice and throwing her arms around the stoic girl, prompting some flustered shovings, Ai was smiling across at the junior detective prince. "Naoto-kun it is. Obviously we want you to be comfortable."

Both the sentiment and the smile were so unexpected from Ai Ebihara that everyone stopped to look at her. After a second or two, she cleared her throat and went back to sipping at the dregs of her smoothie.

"Thank you, Ebihara-san," Naoto finally managed as Rise dropped back into her seat.

"Of course. See? I'm not a cunt all the time."

"Never said you were," Rise cooed as she pinched her cheek.

"HEY! Didn't I tell you to stop getting so physical with me? My face is the real money maker and so help me…"

Things only devolved from there. Kanji was apologizing profusely for presuming too much, Naoto was trying to assure him she didn't mind either, Yukiko had lapsed into another uncontrollable giggle-fit when she noticed Chie and Yosuke had started throwing Teddie himself back and forth. And Ai… was laughing and smiling. Not much; she still looked a little out of place there, not quite sure how she fit into the group of friends.

But she was starting to. Sometimes, a modicum of progress was the best you got.

To Be Continued…

#we'll face ourselves #forkanna writes #saphir de lune #persona 4 fanfiction #p4 fanfic #jess the writer #ai ebihara #rise kujikawa

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heartjwi · 5 years

Text

black magic ☞ nct dream

GENRE | fluff ! nct dream x reader

THEME | witch!au

DISCLAIMER | insp. from black magic by little mix

SUMMARY | 6 boys happen to find a magical book in the middle of the library and promised each other they would only use their powers for the greater good.

A/N | first work here on my new blog heheheeheh also my entry for spooktober! + mentions of bullying!

once upon a time

soooo

theres this specific group of kids in high school right

they’re kinda known as the nobodies in general

literally because they don’t talk to anyone outside their friend group

which makes the popular kids pick on them since they’re easy targets n such

their names were: renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle and jisung

the 4 of them consisted of seniors

and one of the two were either a sophomore and a junior

there have been multiple occasions during lunch where the bullies would purposely stick their feet out when they were walking in their direction

causing them to trip and drop their food trays :-(

if it wasn’t for donghyuck’s snarky attitude, they would’ve been the laughing stock of the school

despite that, the bullies made it their mission to give their life a living hell

the bullies would pull pranks on them

till their youngest had enough

jisung surprisingly towered majority of the bullies and confronted them

“h-hey!” jisung stutters

which made renjun, jeno, jaemin facepalmed

donghyuck was too busy distracting chenle who was sweating and shaking too much

“guys look pipsqueak is trying to say something!” one of the bullies announces to their group

renjun was getting angrier by the minute just watching the bullies poke fun on jisung

“stop making fun of us, it’s not funny anymore” jisung tells the group, his deep voice surprising everyone

“make us, pipsqueak” the group leader pokes a finger on jisung’s chest making him walk backwards

renjun got fed up watching everyone laugh at them and runs up to the leader

“dude what are you doing!” jeno panicks, pulling his sleeve a little bit too late

“hey” renjun grabs the leader’s shoulder

“wha-”

before the leader could finish his sentence, renjun punches him square at the jaw

sending the leader to fall down on the floor

“what the fuck”

and everyone swings

sending both groups to detention

“maybe if one of us just kept our hands to ourselves, this wouldn’t have happened” jaemin smiles sarcastically at his friends

renjun grumbles and turned his back on jaemin

“hyung, renjun hyung had to do something” chenle speaks up

“not gonna lie, that was pretty bad ass coming from him” donghyuck laughs, patting renjun at the back

it could be seen that renjun was trying to contain his smile

but he failed to do so

jeno then walks out of the principal’s office with 6 excuse passes on his hand

“the principal says we’re good kids but that doesn’t mean he’d let us off of the detention we’re serving” jeno starts

the 5 boys sigh in unison

“but he says unlike the other group, they would be cleaning under the tables in the cafeteria, we are on library duty” jeno finishes

“that’s so boring” donghyuck whines, leaning on chenle

“its better than cleaning dried gum” jaemin flicks his forhead

the boys finally arrive in the library when it was closing time

“i’ll leave the keys here and make sure you lock the doors once you finish okay? i’ll be going now” the librarian smiles and waves goodbye at them

“great now we’re spending our friday night in a damn library” hyuck yells out

“i thought we were having a sleepover today?” jeno asks hyuck who was grabbing the left over books on the tables

“we are. i’m just overreacting” he shrugs

a little after that, the boys start cleaning everything at once

chenle was dusting the books that hasn’t been touched in years

jisung was sweeping the floor

renjun was rearranging the books by order

jaemin was wiping the tables

jeno and donghyuck were on cart duty

suddenly, as chenle was sweeping the bookshelves

a book fell on his head

“ouch!” he yelps, catching the attention of everyone

“you good lele?” jeno comes to his aid

chenle rubs his head, “yeah.. that fell on me” he points at a glowing book just a few feet away from them

“what’s this?” jisung picks up the book

“careful there jisung” jaemin warns him

renjun pushes past everyone to see the book, scanning it back to back

“it’s in latin” he tells everyone

he grabs his phone and opens google translate

“it means magic” hyuck reads his phone out loud

“did we just find a magical book?!” chenle squeals

renjun shushes him and tells everyone to hurry up with their work so they could go home

“guys let’s finish everything now so we can play with this book later, okay? chop chop” renjun orders

fast forward now everything in that library was clean

the boys are now at hyuck’s place with the book they found in the middle of their circle

“are we gonna become witches?” hyuck giggles

“probably? i mean it does say magic on the front” jeno explains

“ok y’all i can’t wait much longer lets bippity boppity boo this shit! lets all hold hands around it” jaemin grabs jisung and jeno’s hands

and the rest do the same

now the book is glowing again, it was a mix of purple and blue sparkles

the 6 boys start levitating from the ground

hyuck’s things were flying all over the place

and the lights were flickering

the book opens itself and individually gave everyone in the circle their powers

which was telekinesis

and the power to do whatever they want

basically they can form or do anything their mind tells them to

pretty cool

“this shit is fucking amazing” chenle screams as he made the bed levitate

“holy fuck” jeno muses as he made a cat appear in the room

“guys i’m gonna set hyuck’s desk on fire!” jisung motions his hand at hyuck’s desk

and suddenly, it was on fire

“jesus christ dude!” hyuck puts the fire down with his hands

“holy shit.. we’re witches!” the group claps for themselves

after everyone calms down, renjun announces something

“we should make a pact that we will only use our powers for the greater good” renjun announces,

everyone was listening intently

“we should make sure that we must not let that ugly group make fun of other people anymore” renjun adds

the boys agreed and went to bed after that

time skip on monday

you were a new student in school

you just moved from a whole different country so you were struggling with korean

and needless to say, you first day was absolutely shit

you were the new laughing stock of the school

especially with your speaking skills

hardly anyone speaks english in your new school

they only know certain phrases and often used body language to tell you shit

which made you a bit sad cause that basically means you didn’t really have friends

it was your second day in and someone vandalised your locker

which made the nearby students stifle in their laughter

to your luck, donghyuck happened to be one of the students nearby

he felt pity towards you

knowing you were a new student

while everyone was busy amongst themselves,

he used a bit of magic to erase the writing on your locker

after you gathered your stuff, you noticed your locker door was good as new

you looked around if anyone wiped it off but nothing

except for a boy who winked at you and blue and purple sparkles were evident in their eyes

the bell rang and everyone rushed to their classrooms

it was history class and you had a pretest yesterday

and it was about the history of korea too

meaning you didn’t too well

you had a big, red F on the corner of your test paper

your classmates were again, laughing at you quietly

even hearing some of them muttering “stupid”

you hung your head low and sat down on your chair

next to renjun

renjun felt bad for you and made everyone who made a comment bang their head against the table

seeing what happened to the students, it made you giggle a bit

making renjun smile at you

finally it was lunch time

you were walking towards an empty lunch table in the middle of the cafeteria

carrying your lunch tray filled with food

suddenly one of the people who were bullying you made you trip

you spilled your food and caused a scene

everyone in the cafeteria watching everything

laughing and taking videos of you

you wanted to cry on the spot

but suddenly you hear spluttering and something smelly hit your nose

you see chenle and jisung helping you up

“sorry for your clothes, noona” jisung helps you up

“i can help!” chenle giggles and suddenly you were in new clothes

“woah how did you do that” you asked, covering your mouth in shock

“it’s a secret” jisung giggles

“ah shit, i have to clean up the mess” you cursed, kneeling down taking the plates you dropped

“no worries, we’ll do it for you” jaemin butts in and just like what chenle did, the mess on the floor disappeared

you stared at him in shock and he just winks at you making your cheeks flush

and just a few feet away from you four, donghyuck, jeno and renjun were almost punishing the bullies after what they did to you

“WHY DO WE KEEP SHITTING OUR PANTS” one of the bullies cried out, shit coming out of their pants

and there was donghyuck laughing uncontrollably in the background

the leader turned to him and stomped his way over to him despite him shitting his pants

“YOU!” he yelled but he slipped on his own shit

making donghyuck double over laughing

renjun rolls his eyes, “okay playtime’s over, to the closet you fuckers go” he snaps his fingers and in a flash, the bullies got pushed into their own gym lockers, locked inside while being knocked out cold.

the 3 boys run back to you and checks if you have any bruises or cuts on your arms and legs

“i’m alright guys, thank you for defending me” you nervously scratched the back of your neck

“no worries! if they bother you again just call us and we’ll be there to save the day” jeno gives you his infamous eye smile

which was prone to melting hearts heh

“or better yet, why won’t you join us?” renjun invites you to their friend group

“m-me?” you stuttered, pointing to yourself

everyone nods in unison

“i mean, you do know our little secret so” donghyuck fakes his voice in a serious tone making you scared a bit

“aish hyuck stop you’re scaring her” jaemin smacks his head

“i’ll beat your ass motherfucker-” he tried to scramble towards jaemin but jeno ended up pulling his ear

“ooOOWWW” he screeched holding his now red ear

“shit we forgot to ask her name.. what’s your name?” chenle asks, staring at you intently

“i’m y/n” you say shyly, avoiding eye contact from everyone

renjun, jeno, haechan, jaemin, chenle & jisung look at each other and smiled

“welcome to our group, y/n” they all yell, engulfing you into a hug

the end!

135 notes · View notes

the-omni-princess · 5 years

Text

Toys and Flowers

Author: @the-omni-princess

Summary: Insecurities and some badly written jokes can hurt, especially when they come from family. (Intrusive thoughts TW)

Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.2K (It got away from me whoops)

Prompt:

“I am not a toy you can play with when you’re bored or lonely or horny. I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I am not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me.” - Scandal

Warnings: Angst, Insecure reader, language, intrusive thoughts, unintentionally negative comments, Avengers kinda acting like dicks but they didn’t realize it, also a splash of anxiety, a happy ending I promise, Fluff

A/N:

A little bit of self-fulfillment whoops. Still new at this so please tell me what you think.

This sorta thing comes from my own experience with these thoughts, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t quite fit someone else’s. Anyway, if you’re having negative thoughts, like our dear reader, please go speak to someone. I made this way more angsty than I originally intended.

Prompt is bolded.

Written for @sunmoonandbucky

and their #1.5kconstellationswritingchallenge :D

[Read on Ao3!]

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You were fed up. This had been going on for too long, going around and around in circles for too long. Jokes you could deal with. Insecurities brought to the forefront, teasing, crude one-liners, snide comments. When they came from strangers or from people you never necessarily liked you could deal with them. But when they came from the people you considered family? They hurt, and they hurt severely. Every comment, every glance, every joke sent a searing pain down your chest.

You knew it was most likely in good fun, after all, the Avengers were known to always toss quips at each other. They called Sam and Clint Birdie, teased Steve and Bucky about being old, and there was always some form of ribbing against Vision when he didn’t understand a meme despite being the literal embodiment of the internet. Yet despite all that, every joke that was aimed at you hurt you more than you care to admit.

Thwack. Thump. Every hit of your fists against the punching bag did little to help the anger in your chest, the anxiety, the hurt. Fighting back tears, you tried to block out the voices in your head reminding you of every joke you heard the others say as you kept hitting the bag. You thought you were overreacting, but then another jest meant to just be a poke in the ribs felt like a knife made of fire being pushed into your heart.

Sweat rolled down your back, it prickled at your neck, and you weren’t sure if the wetness on your cheeks was tears or sweat anymore. Sniffling, you paused, wiping your hot face with a towel, and downed half of your remaining water bottle. You sighed, fanning yourself with the towel, not that it helped the sweat clinging to your grey t-shirt or your gym shorts very well.

More comments swirled in your head, anxiety that you weren’t good enough to be an avenger started to creep back into your head, so you tossed the bottle and towel back to the ground and resumed punching. The comments were bad, but they were manageable. At least you thought so. Until a certain super-soldier, who you most definitely had a crush on, started to join in. You were happy he was starting to open up, but when his teasing started to join Sam’s the pain in your chest grew, along with the wall you built around yourself.

Burying yourself in paperwork, reports, and training, you did everything you could to not be in the Compound’s living room when you knew everyone else was there. You even tended to your outhouse garden more often than usual. Those thoughts are what brought you here, to the gym, to punch the shit out of a punching bag for the third time that day, instead of upstairs eating dinner with the rest of the team. It was too late to be out in the garden, your fairy lights you recently bought not fully installed yet, you were weeks ahead of paperwork, and there hadn’t been a new mission to report recently so your last hope was the gym.

Natasha was the first to notice your absences after you repeatedly started to miss dinners with the team and refused to say anything to her about it. “Has anyone seen Y/N today?” She suddenly questioned in the middle of dinner that Friday night, another dinner you were spending in the gym. Eyes all looked towards the redhead, as they started to realize you weren’t there again.

Tony was the first to speak up, sipping away at his drink “Passed by her on the way here, said she was heading to the gym.”

Steve was the next person to speak, hands fiddling with his fork, “But I saw her this morning at the gym, it was really early, and she seemed to tire herself out, why would she go back there so soon?”

Wanda then spoke up, “Her mind has been clouded recently, she blocks me out mentally, but she is blocking us all out as well.”

Sam gave her a confused look, unaware of what was the problem, “Why would she do that?”

“Because you idiots keep making fun of her,” Natasha snapped. She had seen the way you closed yourself off from a conversation the second a joke landed a low blow in your self-esteem. An off comment that maybe the new gal needed more training after she missed a shot during a mission. A quip about something new you were trying. Natasha noticed that not every joke had sent you spiraling, that most you were used to, and some truly were funny enough that you didn’t care, but she also noticed how close you had been to tears as you quickly excused yourself to your room after Bucky teased you the day prior.

Wanda looked up from her plate towards Natasha, the gears in her head practically visible as she connected the dots. “The boys’ comments and jokes about her fuel her anxiety!” She suddenly declared, and the room quickly silenced.

Sam’s eyebrows lifted, almost comically, “But she knows we are just having fun, right? We don’t mean any of it seriously, after all we make fun of the Olsen Twins for their age all the time, and Tinman for being slow.”

“Doesn’t mean the comments don’t hurt,” Bucky put his head in his hands, his own mind quickly filling in the blanks, finally noticing that the emotions in your face as you shuffled out of meetings and movie nights after a joke was betrayal and pain. He was quite acquainted with what pain looked like, and still he managed to miss it in you, though in hindsight he saw it now. The light leaving your eyes as Tony aimed a joke at you, your responding smile never reaching your eyes, your laugh sounding almost fake and forced before you practically sprinted towards your room muttering some excuse about being behind on mission reports.

“From what I’ve been noticing, not all the teasing seemed to affect her, but perhaps you were being a bit harsh on her when you said she needed more training after that mission last week Sam, or the comment about shirt yesterday Bucky,” Clint finally spoke up, having quietly observing everything from his spot on the windowsill couch.

“I was trying to compliment that shirt!” Bucky tried to defend, only to have Natasha snicker.

“’That’s an interesting choice’ is not a compliment,” Natasha glared at him, making him groan as he realized he had been acting like an ass towards you this entire time. “You know this all explains a lot, especially how she looked like she was seconds away from crying when Buckaroo here made some joke at her.” The man in question looked up, equal parts confused and upset. He had made you cry? Why would some joke, one that Sam had already said that didn’t elicit a response, get such a negative one when it came from him? Natasha snickered again, this time because Bucky looked like a kicked puppy. “You haven’t noticed oldie? Poor girl has had a crush on you practically since the moment she met you two years ago.” His heart stopped, then promptly dropped down into his stomach. He was making the girl he liked miserable and he didn’t even know it.

“You didn’t notice Bucky?” Wanda expressed almost remorse as she saw clouds of regret swirling in his head. “The extra cookies she hides away specifically for you, the coffee always ready for you in the morning, the small blushes when you look at her, the smile that lights up her face the second you actually compliment her?” The redhead was listing off the reasons he started to fall for you. The sweet girl, way too good for the world, for him, and the fiercest warrior out on a mission. You had missed that shot because Bucky’s cover would have been blown if your aim had been true. You had taken metaphorical bullets for him multiple times, always the first to defend him whenever someone came after him, especially whenever Ross or some Hydra goon started to monologue him on his past.

Shoving himself from the table, Bucky quickly stood, “I have to go fix this,” he muttered, mostly to himself, already rushing to the gym to find you.

“She’s stubborn, it’s not going to be that easy Bucky!” Steve tried calling out to his best friend, well aware of how Bucky felt about you. His comment fell on deaf ears and Bucky sprinted to the gym where you were still trying to lose yourself to your moves.

Jaws clenched, you kept swinging at the bag in front of you. You were tiring out, your exhausted mind probably catching up with your fatigued body. The gym door behind you swung open, making you jump, wide eyes locking onto a frantic looking Bucky. He looked disheveled, and you noticed his erratic breaths as if he ran here.

Suddenly hyper-aware of your own dishevelment, your body sweaty and tired from working out, you tried to make yourself smaller; quickly turning back to the bag, you swung at it again with new found energy. “What’s up, Buck?”

You could practically feel his eyes burning holes into the back of your head. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was soft, and, dare you to say it, pained. Your hands fell from the punching stance you had them up in, turning to face him with a puzzled look.

“Whatcha mean Bucky? What didn’t I tell you?”

“The intrusive thoughts Y/N… how much my comment about your shirt actually hurt you, really how many of the comments or jokes I made towards you hurt you.” Your body froze, completely caught off guard by him cornering you.

Feeling a bit petty and standoffish, you mustered your best death glare, though it no doubt probably did nothing towards the ex-assassin, “Why would I tell you?” Swiftly turning to grab your discarded water bottle and towel you muttered under your breath, “Why would I tell any of you?”

“Because we’re your family Y/N/N” he responded softly. Damn super soldier hearing. Chancing a glance towards him, you could see his hunched shoulders, his hands fidgeting with the end of his shirt.

His anxious body behavior only fueled you on, suddenly wanting to get out of this conversation as fast as possible yet wanting to confirm every negative thought in your head, you practically snarled at him. “Family don’t hurt each other… they shouldn’t hurt each other.” You whispered the last part, unexpectedly frozen where you stood.

You couldn’t look up at his face, fully aware he probably had some cute puppy dog look aimed your way. You couldn’t stand those looks, you knew your resolve would melt instantly if you looked towards them. His silence somehow hurt more than you thought it would. Your body finally getting with the idea of running from this, you turned away again, heading towards the door.

“Doll…” Bucky started, clearly, about to go on some tangent, you stopped him.

“No doll Bucky. I’m used to the comments… strangers, co-workers even, definitely kids when I was younger… I just thought they would stop eventually, along with these thoughts in my head, guess that was naive of me to think that.”

“Y/N please don’t do this, please, just let me explain. Fuck I didn’t mean those comments like that, Y/N, I tried to say it as a compliment. God, I really like you, and I’m terrible at speaking whenever you come around, and I didn’t mean it like the way it came out doll,” You didn’t hear him move, you just abruptly felt his hand around your wrist.

Pulling it back towards your body as if his touch burned you, you spun on your heels to face him. Rash and hotheaded as always, your words came out like venom aimed straight towards the man in front of you, “I am not a toy you can play with when you’re bored or lonely or horny. I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I am not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me.” You were too quick with your harsh words to realize the full weight of his words, only reacting blindly to the hatred your mind had been building towards yourself and lashing it out towards Bucky. He looked as if he had been slapped in the face by your words. The truth was, you did like the pet names, especially from him, especially when they were on the back end of his praise for you when training or after a particularly good mission. However, your need for a punching bag or the need for these thoughts to not be focused on you for once, made you throw them at the one person in this entire compound you wanted to hurt the least.

You scrambled towards the door, trying to bite back your tears and keep your resolve. You didn’t look back as you rushed towards your room, knowing that if you took one look at the heartbroken man you left standing at the gym, you would sob at his feet. You shut the door behind you promptly sliding to the floor in your room, your back against the door. “FRIDAY, don’t let anyone in. For anything.” You called out, knowing the AI would catch it.

“Are you sure Ms. Y/L/N? My sensors are indicating your elevated heart rate and erratic breathing, it is recommended for me to contact Mr. Stark or the Med Bay.” The AI dutifully replied, making you cry out. You put your head in your hands, feeling the wetness of your cheeks, making you realize you were already crying. When did that happen?

“No! Please FRIDAY, please don’t let an-anyone in… Please. I don’t want them to see me like this.” Your speech slurred faintly, sniffling as you tried to get a hold of yourself. You just felt weak, too drained to shower or eat or even pull yourself from the floor you currently were residing. As your thoughts finally slowed you exhaled shakily, the anxiety and intrusive thoughts gone, leaving a blank mind except for a startling realization to what Bucky said before you snapped. “God, I really like you.”

You weren’t sure when you had fallen asleep, but considering the light hitting your eyes from the window, you figured it must have been a while ago. You shuffled to get comfortable in the sheets around you, desperate for a few more minutes of the nothingness of sleep. Wait… when did you go to bed? Hadn’t you fallen asleep on the floor? You sat up quickly, ignoring the burn in your eyes at the sudden light change as you surveyed the room. “FRIDAY? How did I get to bed last night?” You asked carefully, truthfully scared of the answer.

“Mr. Stark used his override code to enter your room shortly after you fell asleep. Sergeant Barnes put you in bed before returning to his own quarters.”

Groaning as you got out of bed, you realized you were still in your work-out clothes from the previous night, at least Bucky didn’t try to change you last night. Well, why would he? Your mind started to think as you headed for the bathroom to shower, suddenly grateful you woke up in your bed instead of on the floor. You suddenly froze, halfway to the bathroom door as you remembered one small detail of last night: “God, I really like you.”

Pushing away from the thoughts in your head, you quickly showered and got dressed. Going through routines helped the thoughts in your head from swirling around so much. You walked into the kitchen, grabbing a cereal bowl as you ignored how quiet it suddenly got when you walked in. Pouring all the necessary (and frankly colorful) ingredients and sitting down, you paused, spoon halfway to your mouth as you noticed most of the Avengers staring at you. “What?” You said it defensively, the simple word carrying a small amount of venom behind it.

Sam spoke up first, eyes locking with yours, “Y/N I’m sorry- no, no interrupting, eat your breakfast and let me say it, no running away Y/N/N” he spoke carefully, gentle yet clearly concerned. You gave him a wary look before starting to eat your cereal. Sam took that as an invitation to speak again. “I’m sorry, no, well yes, but we are all sorry. We didn’t realize the jokes we said were hurting you, and we hope you can forgive us and open up to us again. Y/N/N we miss seeing you around here. Your family but you’re avoiding us, we didn’t even realize what we said was causing you pain and behalf of all of us, even though most of it was my jokes, we are all sorry for making you feel like you weren’t a valuable part of this family.” You winced, hearing the guilt in his voice, conscious everyone was probably looking towards you as you stared at your cereal. “Because you are a valuable member of this family Y/N, and we miss seeing you happy.” That was the nail in the coffin, the tears that were bubbling in your eyes suddenly, but thankfully quietly, spilling down your face.

Sniffling, you looked up at Sam and the rest of the team, your view starting to get a bit blurry as tears clouded your vision. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys,” your eyes making a point of looking at Bucky. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night, hair mussed, his hand most likely running through it several times throughout the night. You quickly looked away before your resolve to finish your thoughts crumbled. “I thought I could just get past the thoughts, the words, the jokes, I was probably just hoping it would go away… thanks for being there, I know I can be kind of a mess, I’m not always perfect, but I’ll try to actually talk through these thoughts, and… feelings.” A few heads nodded, the tension dissolving in the room.

“Now, with the messy stuff outta the way, when you finish your breakfast, someone is requesting your presence at your garden kid,” You looked up at Tony, confused as you tried wiping your tears, happy you were talking through things for once instead of being rash. He shook his head, “No details coming out of me kid, just relaying the message.” He was quick to leave the room.

Your face must have looked perplexed still because Steve spoke up as he headed out as well, “Just trust us Y/N/N, you have a surprise waiting for you down there,” Steve knew how much you adored the greenhouse garden you had practically begged Tony to help you install when you became an Avenger. It had been the only thing you have ever asked of him, your small piece of comfort. Tending new flowers and growing herbs became a habit when you were younger, a positive way to keep yourself distracted from the thoughts in your head and the worries of the outside world.

The kitchen was now relatively empty, leaving a certain redheaded Russian alone with you. Natasha walked over, kissing your head motherly, “I’m always here to talk Malen'kiy,” she spoke softly, hugging you gently from the side. You rested your head against her, a faint smile on your face, your first real smile in a while.

“I know, thanks, Nat. I promise I’ll actually talk to you next time,” your voice was just as soft as you looked up adoringly at your practically adoptive sister. Nat had always been the one to know you the best. She knew you had these thoughts, always the clever one, but she didn’t realize they had become this bad.

“Now, hurry up and go to that garden you love before I have to kick your butt and drag you there myself,” You chuckled, smiling up at her as she playfully nudged your arm towards the door. Something was definitely going on. Three Avengers in cahoots to send you to your garden? Suspicious. You walked a little faster than usual down to your garden, wondering what was such a big deal that everyone really wanted you to go there.

The door’s open. That weird, I always close it. You thought as you approached the greenhouse. Walking inside you were flabbergasted, it looked completely different, in a totally good way. The weeds you had missed the other day were already uprooted, the floor swept, the fairy lights you had been dying to put up were already up and on. But what surprised you most were the new flowers that had lined the formerly empty new section you weren’t quite sure what to put there.

It was right beside the bench you used to read when you wanted to be alone after rough missions and no matter what plant you could think of, nothing ever felt right being put there. It would be the scent that would surround while you read, the light perfect there for reading, so you wanted something nice but none of your choices stuck. You already had those type of flowers, or it just felt wrong next to the bench, but the arrangement of flowers currently there now? They were perfect. Purple violets, purple lilacs, yellow daisies, red carnations, and hydrangeas.

Caught up in the new additions to your garden, you didn’t notice Bucky sitting on the bench beside the flowers at first. You knew the meaning of these new additions, but you weren’t quite sure what to say. “Did you do all of this?” you kept your voice low, eyes locking onto the sheepish blue eyes in front of you. Dark circles surrounded those beautiful eyes you tried so hard not to think about. He nodded slowly, a hopeful look in his eyes as he motioned for you to join him on the bench. “Last night… I couldn’t sleep… so I decided to do what you said I should do.”

“Which was?” you prompted, still a bit wary that this was some big joke against you.

“Earn you…” his eyes locked onto yours before he continued. “Y/N, I’m sorry for all the things I said, I know Sam did a big ‘forgive all’ sorta’ apology but I wanted to say I’m sorry personally. Y/N… I’m sorry, dreadfully, absolutely, completely, and utterly sorry.” He was biting his lower lip, anxiously fidgeting with the rings on his fingers as he waited for your response with bated breath.

You gulped faintly at the implications of what he was saying and one key phrase he had said last night was replaying in your head. “God, I really like you” Your eyes fell from his gaze, looking towards the flowers, did he even know what this all meant?

“Bucky, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt, and I accept your apology about, well everything I guess. And thanks for fixing up the place,” you found the courage to say your thoughts, still locked onto the flowers. “Did you really not get any sleep just to do all of this for me?”

“Yes.” He said it quickly, with conviction, and when your attention snapped back to him, you noticed how nervous he seemed. Nodding faintly, you sat on the bench beside him, just out of his reach, he would have to scoot over to be near you.

You leaned against the arm of the bench, bent towards the new flowers. “They’re perfect by the way. I could never find a good combination of scents and colors for this spot, but you managed to do it beautifully.” You heard Bucky shuffle behind you, most likely still fidgeting, his metal fingers bumping against the metal of the rings on his right hand.

“Steve may have mentioned how he overheard you upset you were that you couldn’t figure out what to put there,” apprehensively he added, “Do you really like them?”

At that, you turned back towards him, grinning brightly at him. “They absolutely perfect Bucky.” You spoke with the same conviction he spoke earlier. Still gathering the nerve, you looked back towards the flowers, already enveloped by their scent, calming you as you spoke. “Do you know what each flower means?” Your voice was soft again, hopeful. That it wasn’t some accident he chose these specific flowers.

“Yes.” He answered simply. You turned towards him, his blue eyes, nervousness, and hopefulness evident in them.

“Then tell me,” you smiled warmly, feeling your cheeks warm up as he smiled back at you.

“Why do I have a feeling you already know?”

“Because I do… it’s just… some flowers can have multiple meanings, I want to know what you meant by each one.” You knew you were most definitely blushing at the moment, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care as he moved closer, thigh now pressed against your own. He started to point out each flower and he explained.

“Purple violets mean that the giver’s thoughts were, and I’m quoting the website here darling, ‘were occupied with love’ to the person they are giving it too,” you giggled, smiling up at him as he continued with a bit more confidence. “Purple lilacs symbolize the first emotions of love, yellow daisies mean anything from youthful beauty to loyal love to new beginnings, I was honestly aiming for all three, as they remind me of you.” You noticed how Bucky was now blushing, eyes turned to focus on the flowers, nervousness flooding him again. “Red carnations mean love, pride, and admiration, and finally the hydrangeas symbolize heartfelt emotions, but I like their second meaning more.” He paused, biting his lip again before continuing,

“That they can be used to express gratitude for being understood… Y/N, you’re amazing. You’re always kind, you’re never quick to judge but you're quick to protect, you’re fierce, whether it’s beating up bad guys or defending one of us. What I’m saying,” he finally looked back up at you, “I like you a lot Y/N. You showed me kindness and welcomed me here at the compound before I could even remember what either of those words meant anymore. You’re hot-headed, rash, too stubborn for your own good, quick to jump into a fight, you and Steve have that in common. But you’re also quick-witted, ambitious, and God I’m rambling, again aren’t I? I just… I wanted to show you some of the beauty you show me every time you walk through the door without even trying.” You couldn’t stop smiling as Bucky spoke, somewhere along the line you two had started holding hands and you most definitely weren’t letting go anytime soon. “I’ve fallen in love with you without you even trying doll.” He froze, realizing the pet name rolled so easily off his tongue, the same one that had upset you the night before.

You released one of his hands, gently placing it to cusp his jaw, “Bucky, I think I have some of my own confessions to make” your voice was soft, and it surprised you that you even could speak. Here was the man of your literal dreams confessing his love for you in the garden you had built from the ground up. “Before you panic, I actually like the pet names, I just… last night I was really wound up, and I lashed out at you, I’m sorry Buck...” He visibly softened at your words, elated he could go back to calling you that, but he still stared at your intertwined hand. “I really like you to…” his eyes shot up from to meet yours.

“Really?” If anyone knew that the formidable Winter Soldier had practically whimpered out that word, you knew Sam would never let Bucky live it down. You just smiled, standing and gently tugged him into the garden. You had a second bench, hidden amongst the thick foliage of the surrounding trees and vines. The bench was at the edge of a hidden circle opening, the circle was lined with rock and shells, the center filled with soft blankets and fluffy pillows. This was your favorite place to nap, the quiet secluded heart of the garden just hidden in the darkness, and away from the exit. Bucky hadn’t been the first to enter the garden, but he was the first you were willingly showing this part of it. It was your, or well our now you guessed, little secret. Fairy lights, these installed by you as the first batch you received, surrounded the circle.

You sat towards the edge of the circle, just a bit off from the bench, motioned him to join you on the fluffy pillows you sat on. He hesitantly sat beside you, close but cautious, unsure of what you were doing but trusting you completely. “Do you know why this small area is my favorite spot but is the one area of the entire garden I don’t let anyone into?” You asked softly, gently holding his soft yet calloused hands in your lap. He shook his head, intrigued but staying silent. You pointed towards the bush in front of you, small blue forget-me-nots dotting the bush. “They remind me of you.” You confided, looking towards him. His eyes gazed back towards you, full of admiration, awe, and, dare you to say, love. “There’s the obvious memory joke in there, but that’s not why they remind me of you. They symbolize a love brimming with memories, and every time I look at them I remember the hundreds of times your eyes look at me with such awe, like you can’t believe I’m real. No one’s ever looked at me like that before. Their color reminds me of your eyes, those ocean eyes I could get lost in if I’m not paying attention, the eyes I’m searching for during those boring briefs before meetings. They also symbolize how I don’t want you to forget about me one day.” You saw the emotions flash in those very eyes you could fall into as you spoke.

Bucky gently moved closer, his hands now cradling your jaw as he spoke. “I could never forget about you doll.” His words pushed you forward almost subconsciously, finally daring to get closer to the man you could see yourself falling in love with. Every second went by painfully slow as the two of you grew closer, until Bucky’s lips met with yours. You hummed happily, his thumbs rubbing soft circles against your cheeks as you finally kissed. Your hands found themselves at the nape of his neck, gently tugging at his hair as he deepened the kiss. You pulled away finally, suddenly very aware about the burning need in your lungs to breathe. Bucky, ever the super soldier, was the first to recover, grinning as he tried to catch his breath. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since forever.”

You laughed at that, biting your bottom lip, noticing how kiss swollen Bucky’s lips were. “Stop being cheesy and kiss me again Bucky, matte’ of fact, never stop kissing me,” You said softly, pulling him back for more. He smiled against your lips as you both finally felt content, surrounded by flowers and fairy lights.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #my writing #1.5kconstellationswritingchallenge #angst #fluff #tw: intrusive thoughts

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do-your-socks-have-holes-in-them · 5 years

Text

Spooky Month 10/25

Prompt: Ghost Hunting

Summary: Patton joins his brothers on their ghost hunt, and makes a new friend.

Warnings: implied past character death, because... ghosts

Pairings: platonic Moxiety

@sanderssidescelebrations

~ ~ ~

Twelve-year-old Patton Sanders sighed and crossed his arms, leaning back in the creaky old porch swing. He didn’t even want to be here, really. Ghost hunting in some abandoned house that was supposed to be haunted hadn’t sounded like that much fun to begin with, especially the way his older brothers described it. Logan kept going on about proving whether ghosts existed at all, and it wasn’t very exciting to start out with the thought that what they were looking for probably didn’t exist in the first place! Roman, on the other hand, seemed convinced he could fight a ghost with his bare hands and become some sort of hero.

Patton didn’t like either of those ways of thinking about it, not that the twins listened to him—they were going into high school next year, so obviously they knew everything. They had only invited him at all because they wanted another person to help carry all the equipment they’d ordered from Amazon, and he’d agreed because he didn’t have much better to do that day. Then, as soon as they got to the house…

“Um… Patton… maybe it’s best if you stay out here for now,” Logan had suggested when he’d tried to follow them in.

“We wouldn’t want you to get hurt if it turns out to be dangerous,” Roman added. “We’re technically responsible for you right now.”

“If everything seems safe, then you can join us.”

“Make sure nobody steals our bikes, okay?” With that last remark, they’d both disappeared into the house and shut the door, leaving him outside on the porch. He wasn’t mad at them exactly, but he wasn’t having a great time either. It was nice out, at least, but it was still boring out here, and if anybody came by and saw him they’d all probably get in trouble, and he hadn’t even thought to bring anything to entertain himself with.

Through the door, he tried to listen for what exactly they were doing in there. It sounded like mostly a lot of metallic clunks as they set up their stuff, plus the muffled sound of each of them trying to tell the other he was doing it all wrong. Patton jumped and almost fell off the swing when something started making a horrible staticky noise, but he was pretty sure he remembered them saying it was supposed to do that. …For some reason. They would have demonstrated last night, but had ended up decided there was no point turning it on when there couldn’t possibly be a ghost in their house. (Patton was pretty sure they were afraid there might be, but he was nice enough not to say so.)

“Ghosts!” Roman called, loud enough to be heard clearly through the door. “If there truly is anyone… or anything… haunting this house- come out and show yourself to us!”

Silence followed, except for the horrible static, of course. Logan gave it a try next. Less dramatic, but still loud enough to be heard from anywhere in the house, of course.

“If there are any spirits here, give us a sign of your presence.”

There was another silence from any potential ghosts. Logan started to say something else, but Roman was already trying a… different strategy, encouraged by the lack of response so far.

“Hello? Ghost? Get out here, unless you’re afraid to-”

He cut off with a muffled protest, and Logan hissed something at him Patton couldn’t make out. Roman was laughing almost too hard to continue. Only almost, though.

“Why not? The ghost is a coward!” Logan snapped at him to cut it out, but it was easy to tell he was laughing, too, however much he wanted to pretend he wasn’t. “Hey! Ghost! You’re-”

Patton had no idea what happened after that, but he heard a crash, and then his brothers screamed, and before he could finish scrambling off the swing to make sure they were okay they had already come running out of the house with everything they’d set up scooped haphazardly into their arms.

“What happened?! Did you see the ghost? Guys?”

They didn’t seem to hear him. They were busy sorting out the equipment to make sure it wasn’t damaged from their hasty exit, looking wide-eyed at each other and saying things like “do you think that got recorded?” and “Roman, I told you not to do that-” “But it worked!”

“Does that mean it’s not safe?” Patton tried again, except not very loudly. “If you don’t tell me it’s not safe, I’m gonna go in, okay?”

They did not, in fact, tell him anything of the sort, or even appear to notice he had said anything. So, feeling a little bit guilty, but not very, because they hadn’t been very nice to him so far today, he opened the door as quietly as he could and walked inside.

The interior of the possibly haunted house wasn’t all that impressive. Mostly, it was just dark and- he sneezed mid-thought- dusty. There wasn’t even any furniture. Which made sense, because there was no one living here- or, at least, no one living here- but it was still weird, walking through a house with completely empty rooms.

“Hello?” he called quietly. There was no answer, which was a little bit of a relief. “Uh, sorry about Roman and Logan. It sounded like they were being kinda rude, but they… didn’t mean it? I mean, I don’t think they thought you were real.” He paused again, shuffling his feet awkwardly. “I just wanted to say hi, I guess, if you’re there…” He waited a few more seconds, then sighed disappointedly and turned to leave.

“Hey.”

Patton squeaked and spun around. There was a boy standing behind him. He looked closer to the twins’ age than Patton’s, with dark clothes and dyed hair. More to the point, Patton could see through him.

“Oh- oh gosh, hi, I didn’t think that would actually work!”

The boy shrugged, almost embarrassed. “Not a lot of people to talk to when you’re haunting a house, so, if you’re not gonna be a jerk about it…”

“Of course not!” Patton started to put out his hand to shake, but stopped when he remembered his new friend wasn’t really… solid. “Um- I’m Patton, what’s your name?”

“Oh, uh…” Now he did look embarrassed. “It’s Virgil,” he muttered.

“That’s a cool name!” He smiled, and Virgil blinked and hesitantly smiled back.

---

It took far longer than either of them would have liked to admit for Logan and Roman to realize they couldn’t see Patton anymore. Logan dropped the camera he’d been bemoaning the lack of clear ghost images on and looked around a bit frantically, only to realize the door of the house was ajar.

“Oh. Oh, no.”

“We’ll just have to go back in there and save him,” Roman decided, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. “Patton is not gonna get killed by a ghost on my watch!”

Logan had to agree. Much as he didn’t like the idea of possibly missing out on evidence, he also agreed they would have to leave the ghost-hunting equipment outside- if the ghost showed up again, it would be much easier to run away without all that. (Also, he was pretty sure half of that stuff was fake anyway.) They crept up to the door together and eased it open, almost holding their breath. They were not prepared for what they saw inside.

Patton was sitting cross-legged on the floor, and the ghost who’d appeared out of nowhere to scare them half to death earlier was in a similar position next to him, and as far as either of them could tell they were just… talking. As they watched in stunned silence, Patton cracked a terrible pun, and the ghost laughed.

This was insane. Logan took a step forward, unsure if it was still a good plan to grab Patton and run, and a floorboard creaked. Both Patton and the ghost looked up. He resisted the urge to take a step back again. “Patton? What… are you doing?”

“Right- guys, this is Virgil! He’s sorry for scaring you earlier, right?” He stared at Virgil, who looked incredibly awkward and sheepish.

“Y-yeah. Sorry. I guess I overreacted a little.”

“A little?!” Roman scoffed. “I thought you were going to kill us!”

“And now,” Patton interrupted, raising his voice, “you two have to apologize for coming in here and being rude to him.”

They both looked at him with incredulous expressions. But then they looked a little to the side of him, at the ghost waiting expectantly, and mutually decided it might be a good idea to just go along with it.

“Yes… Of course. We apologize.”

“Sorry I called you a coward.”

Patton beamed. “There we go! Come sit with us, I was just telling Virgil about the last season of Steven Universe ‘cause he doesn’t have a TV in here and-”

“Well, I’m sorry to interrupt,” Logan interrupted, “but we do sort of need to go home. It’s getting close to dinner time.”

“Oh.” Patton slumped sadly, and Virgil looked disappointed as well. He leaned in and said something to Patton, very quietly.

“Yeah, of course!” Patton turned back to his brothers. “We can come back to visit again, right?”

They glanced at each other. “Why?”

“To see my new friend?” But they didn’t seem to be particularly swayed by that, so he added, “And if you don’t, I’ll tell mom you brought me here in the first place.”

Now that was a threat. “Fine,” Roman agreed quickly, “whatever- do not tell her anything about this.” Virgil was laughing. Roman waited until Patton was looking away and made a face at him. Apparently, just because he was dead didn’t mean he was above being just as childish and making one back.

“Come on,” Logan said to both of them- still not willing to leave the safety of the doorway- and Patton stood up reluctantly and followed him out. Just before closing the door behind him, he turned back and waved to Virgil.

“Bye,” he called. “See you later!”

After a moment, Virgil smiled and waved in return. “Yeah… Later.”

#yes this is rather late shhh #sanders sides #sanders sides spooky month 2019 #platonic moxiety #my post #my writing

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tinselkj · 4 years

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A night in your arms, forever in my heart

Who: KJ Apa & Andy Biersack Where: KJ’s House When: September 3rd Notes: Andy comes over to talk about all the drama KJ has been in, only to talk about feelings. Mentions of Lili, Ro, Michael @hwfameandy

KJ: Reading over the text messages again, KJ was glad he had a friend like Andy when all things came down to it. He knew he was the one person who wouldnt judge him, or his inability to choose what he really wanted. Did he love his ex still? Of course he did. He was ready to ask her to marry him before the breakup, but he had to be realistic. Six months had passed without any contact besides the occasional hello when the situation was required. Now with Ronen and his pressuring to come out and just be with him..to make a choice. It was draining for the now redhead. Unsure of how much time actually went by, KJ heard the knock on his door causing Keo to start barking. "Oh stop it..its just Andy." The man stated, silencing the dog as he laid back down on his dog bed a few moments later. "Hey." KJ smiled once the door was open, moving aside to let his friend enter his home.

Andy: Truthfully, Andy hates know KJ was going through a difficult situation like this. He knew what it was like, there was a reason that not many people knew about his previous relationship, the two of them did a pretty good job at keeping it a secret so it was safe to say that Andy knew how he felt in so many way and he just wanted to be there for him. He knew that having a shoulder can make all the difference in the world. He made sure he had his dog with him, the small Yorke cuddled in his arm as he made his way up to the others front door. Andy smiled when KJ opened the door. Daredevil starting to bark slightly when he heard his voice. Andy handed him the small dog as he walked into the house. “Sometimes I hate that he’s blind.” He laughed as he instantly made a b line to Kao, leaning down to pet him slightly. “Hi buddy!” He smiled and patted his head before standing up to face KJ. “You look like shit, man.”

KJ: As the small dog started barking, the smile on KJs face grew wider, pulling the small dog close to his chest. "Well hello there little one." He spoke, scratching behind his ears as he followed Andy into his house-making sure to lock the door behind him. "Aww dont listen to him, little man. You're just lucky you dont have to see your owner's weird face." If there was one thing he liked about his friendship with Andy, it was the fact that they could insult each other all day long, and still know the other will always have his back. No matter the circumstances. "You would too if you had to deal with a grown man acting like a child. I know leading him on wasnt ok, but holy hell did he cause nothing but stress the past few nights."

Andy: “My face is weird but at least my hair isn’t fake.” Laughed as he pulled his jacket off and tossed it on the back of the couch, his tattooed arms now fully exposed. He ruffled his own hair as he moved to take a seat. “You don’t need someone like that, K. If he’s gonna be a man than he needs to act like one and not get fuckin butt hurt when you lay out your situation.” He spoke as he looked to the other. “Come on, sit, tell me everything.” He added as he reached out to lightly tug on his arm. No matter what happened in his life, KJ was always the most important person in it, and he needed him more than the redhead would ever really understand.

KJ: "Hey! Mine isnt by choice! Honestly I'm so scared I'll end up bald by the time I'm 40, and I really dont think I can pull that look off." Having to dye his hair three times a week, kj knew it was only a matter of time before his hair started to fall out from all of the chemicals. Once he was finished with Riverdale, he was never going to dye it red again. Watching as he took his jacket off, the man couldnt help but admire his ink, wishing he could get more himself. "I know I'm overreacting a bit right now about the situation since I had just as much involvement in this..but it really irritates me that he couldnt see how uncomfortable I was. If you want me to choose you..how am I supposed to when you cant even pick up on when I'm uncomfortable?" Sitting down next to him, KJ opted to lay his head in his friends lap, wanting someone to run their fingers through his hair as he spoke. "And if the first guy I've really slept with is willing to put that sort of ultimatum up..choosing him or lil..then do I even want to explore that side?" KJ was beyond annoyed at this point and his animated gestures emphasized that.

Andy: “No, you’ll have hair for a very long time. Just gotta take care of it when you’re done with the show.” He was laughing softly through the words. He didn’t mind the actors original hair color, but there was something about the red that he really enjoyed seeing. When he laid his head on his lap, Andy moved to run fingers though KJs hair, slowly twirling strands around his finger as he looked down at him. “If you think you can have something with that side, don’t let one person ruin the whole thing for you.” He kept his town softly and relaxed. He could tell his friend was annoyed. “I promise you, we’re not all like him. Like I said to you, you need someone that’s going to understand where you’re coming from. No one should make you choose between them and Lili, not until they helped you truly discover who you are and what you want.”

KJ: "Man I really hope so. It's not terribly damaged, but you can tell it's not as healthy as it should be." After the years of bleaching, the roots are a tad bit dry and no matter what I do to my hair, it hasnt fully gone away." Closing his eyes as Andy began to play with his hair, Keneti couldnt stop the small laugh that escaped his mouth at the thought of what he needed. "So basically what you're saying is I need you." He meant it as a joke, but the words held some volume to them. Andy had always been supportive, and if he wanted to explore this side of himself, he would want it to be with someone like Andy.

Andy: “We can fix that, I fried my hair a long time ago, took a bit but I was able to get it fixed. Now I don’t mind it at all. And to be honest, I really love your hair.” He smiled softly when he saw KJ starting to close his eyes. He coughed a bit in surprise when he heard the words pass the other lips. He chuckled a bit of a nervous chuckle as he used his free hand to run his fingers through his own hair. “I- well.. I certainly wouldn’t be against it.” He whispered and his fingers were back in the others hairs, slowly sliding fingers through as many strands as he could.

KJ: "I would greatly appreciate that." He smiled as he opened his eyes for a moment to look at the man. "You love it? Really? Well I suppose I can trust you seeing as you have really amazing style in general." Hearing how his statement caught him off guard, KJ laughed wholeheartedly "what happened to you not wearing your emotions on your sleeve? Because that's what you'd be doing. I'm such a hopeless romantic, that if anything happened between us, I would want that. I would need someone to pour my love into, and you've said you're not about that." If anything he was just messing around with him, but he did make a valid point.

Andy: Andy nodded his eyes slowly, blue eyes locking on brown ones that looked back at him. “I do. I think you have very beautiful hair.” He smiled through his response. Those words that followed caused Andy to move slowly, sitting up just a bit more in his seat but made sure to keep the actors head in his lap. “Well.. you’re someone i trust, someone that’s never screwed me over. Wearing my emotions on my sleeve seems to be natural when it comes to you.” He shook his head when he spoke. He really wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing here, but he was going to run with it and see which way his own emotions took him, even if it meant he had that underlying fear of getting attached and coming out the loser. “You’re easy to talk to, your sense of humor keeps me going. I’d do it for you.”

KJ: He was starting to cross a line that he didnt want to cross. Not with Andy. As the words I'd do it for you passed through his lips, KJ pulled away, turning towards his best friend as he tugged on his short locks. "I cant do this. I cant risk what happened with Ronen, happening with you. I know you would never pressure me to come out, and I know you wouldnt hold my past against me, but I cant ruin our friendship. You're the one person in my life that I can tell anything to. You're the one person I genuinely love, and I'm not going to let my confusion ruin anything between us. Not when you've been hurt as much as I have. I refuse to be just another person in a long list of people who let you down. You're different to me..you're special and I cant ruin that..I wont ruin that." He wasnt sure when he had taken Andy's hands into his own, but he finally noticed as his thumbs lazily stroked the back of his hands.

Andy: Andy kept his eyes on KJ, it was like he couldn’t look away from him no matter how hard he tried. When he hand was taken, his heart was racing in his chest. He laced his fingers with his and squeezed his hand tightly. “This is Ronen? The guy you’re talking about is Ronen? That pissed me off a little because he was texting me earlier and coming onto me hardcore.” He spoke softly as he used his free hand to pull his phone from his pocket to show KJ the messages. “Keneti, listen to me. I’m not going to let anything come between us.. and if that means that I have to swallow my feelings for you then I will, because we both know I’m kinda crazy about you. But I won’t force you into anything. You’re the only one I trust not to hurt me again. I haven’t even told you about my last relationship because I don’t want you to see me weak, because I want to be the person you need me to be.”

KJ: Looking at the man in pure confusion as he handed him his phone, KJ scrolled through the messages between the pair, growing more and more irritated by the moment. "I'm glad you showed me this. I cant believe how stupid I was to believe that he might wait around until I figured my shit out." Handing his phone back once he reached the end of the conversation, kj nodded his head, letting him know he was in fact listening to his every word. "You were my first crush when I realized I might like guys as well as girls. So that was a wild ride to try and figure out on my own because I couldn't really come to you and say 'hey..I have this massive crush on you, and I'm not sure what this means.' Andy..this is a two way street. You cant expect me to tell you everything when you wont tell me when something happens to you. Maybe I want to be there for you as well?"

Andy: “Ronen is a player, and I would hate to see him hurt you.” He spoke as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket. There was a lot that Andy was going through and he was the kind of person that would help others with their issues before he would let anyone help him out. “I wish you would have come to me, I would have helped you figure it all out.” His tone was softly as he spoke. One hand holding onto his while the other made its way back into red locks. “I used to date Michael Clifford, he ghosted me for thirteen months, got himself a girlfriend, and had the audacity to tell me that he missed me.” He spoke out as he leaned his head back against the couch. This was the first time he was ever truly opening up about the other and it caused a small chuckle to pass his lips. “I even got into a fight with his girlfriend because apparently the way I treated him was not deserved, when all I did was tell him how bad he fucked me up.”

KJ: "Yeah well, I dont see anything happening now that I saw that. I'm trying to work my feelings and emotions out, and if he cant wait just a few days while I get my feelings in order, then hes really not worth my time." It hurt knowing he so quickly went onto the next guy who showed him just a little attention, and yet still had the audacity to say he had a date planned. He was trying not to play with anyone's emotions, and he wasn't about to let someone do just that to him. Listening to what had happened with his ex, kj saw red. Anger slowly bubbling in the pit of his stomach as it sank in on what he did to Andy. "Fuck him. You deserve so much better and hes lucky I'm not going over there with a fucking baseball bat for hurting you like that." He knew he was over reacting, but he hated the idea of anyone hurting his best friend. "Its not your fault that he cant keep it in his pants and be a decent human being and tell you it's not going to work. I'm sorry Andy..." he wanted to protect him from anymore heartache, but he wasn't sure what else he could do.

Andy: "Anyone who plays with your emotions doesn't deserve you, like I said to you earlier, you deserve to be treated like a king." Andy couldn't help but laugh at the way KJ acted and it was a genuine laugh, one that he hadn't let out in a long time. "Calm down there firecracker." He smirked as he moved slowly to lay down on the couch with the other, placing his body just behind the actors. He wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close to his chest. "I'm not thinking about him right now, and I don't want to think about him." His hand lifted for fingers to lightly run along the hair at the back of KJ's neck.

KJ: Forcing himself to calm down as he moved Into a spooning position, KJ sighed in contentment as his back pressed against his strong chest. "Alright fine. But if he hurts you again, you're not going to be able to stop me." He wasn't sure how long they stayed there, or when he fell asleep in his best friends arms, but for once in a very long time, Keneti felt safe. He felt like he didn't have to prove anything or choose who he had to be..he could just be himself.

#para #a night in your arms #kj stop falling for your friends xD

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joonciaga · 5 years

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a/n : ↱ if ur just seeing this, hi! this is a social media au, this part just doesn’t have a setting online♡.

𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐎 ↱ namjoon’s is a famous producer and rapper signed to etc ent. recently, yn signed and is soon gonna debut under etc ent. namjoon is known for being very hardcore and a little rude sometimes. when yn gets put together with namjoon to work on her album they are at each others necks til someone breaks.

last | part 5 | next

word count: 963

“is everyone here?” your manager, hoseok asks.

just in time, you burst through the main studio doors in your building. your hair still drying from when you washed it this morning, your sweater jacket is hanging off your shoulder. you wouldn’t say you look your best right now.

“I guess so now.” hoseok sighs. “yn, take a seat please.”

you sit down next to namjoon, ready for him to do something rude, like move his chair or his arm. but he stays completely still.

“does anyone have any ideas?” hoseok speaks again.

“i actually do,” you pull out your phone and go to the notepad app. “it’s this song i've been thinking about for a while now,” you look up and you see everyone’s attention on you. you clear your throat due to nervousness. “my hometown, as you guys know, is —“

“it’s already a bad idea,” namjoon cuts you off. “it’s stupid, she tried to get me to allow her to finalize this song, but i told —“

“namjoon, dude, let her finish.” hoseok says.

“well, i was thinking I could make a song dedicated to my hometown.” you finish. “it doesn’t have to be a lead single or anything like that, i just wanna make it. it could even be a hidden track that people get if they scan a code or something.”

“sounds good, we’ll work on it.” hoseok jots down your idea. “what about you, joon?”

“well, i just think she could maybe try making songs that are towards the mainstream media. “ he speaks. “well, just like the main structure of songs these days, like, a falls in love with b, b doesn’t like a, b, later on, finds out feelings about a… shit like that.”

“and i’ve already told you, i don't want to do that, did i?!” you raised your voice a little at the end.

hoseok tries to calm you down but you don’t hear him.

“how many fucking times, do i have to tell you, it is my work, it is my album, i don't fucking care if it reaches the charts or not, i want to make something that’s important to me, that i am gonna value!” you slam your hands on the desk.

“yn, lets—“ hoseok tries to say

“no, he's been fucking pissing me off for fucking ever. jesus, the shit that we’ve produced lately, i hate it, it's not me, it's a different person, i don’t wanna be fake, i want to be real and direct. if i’m built off something fake, i’ll become fake.” you slam your hand on the table once more but, a hand stops you from doing so. you look up and you see namjoon’s arm. for the first time, you actually see emotions in his eyes. you snatch your arms down and walk out of the studio. as soon as you walk out, you let the tears flow, and they don’t stop. you slide your back down on the wall and curl up into a ball.

while you're gone, its a completely different thing happening on the other side of the wall.

“namjoon, what the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU?” hoseok balls namjoon’s shirt into a ball. “just because you fucking failed in life doesn’t mean you have to take out that anger on someone else. dude, she’s just starting out, let her find her sounds, let her see what she likes and what she doesn’t. don’t force anything onto to her. “ hoseok pauses and let's go of the youngers shirt. by now its all wrinkled up. “for fuck's sake, she’s only 20, calm down.”

“i just don’t want the same thing to happen to her.” namjoons voice cracks.

before, namjoon became a producer he was a rapper. he didn't know anything at all. he said the wrong things, made the wrong choices too. he was very uneducated. which made his career go down. but he somehow managed to overcome that and kept his job in a way.

“relax dude, this is a female you are working with.” hoseok pats his back. “i’ve heard you’ve been telling her to not sing like this or that. whats up with that?”

“well, i feel like she could do better, i felt like she's holding back on certain notes.” namjoon says.

“it seems like you care for her, don’t you?” hoseok teases. “go say sorry, yeah? it’ll cheer her up a little.” both of them laugh.

namjoon heads out into the dimly lit hallway. “yn..?” he calls out for you. you heard his faint deep voice, you get up and wipe your now puffy and wet face to remove traces of you crying.

“yn!” namjoon finally spots you. “i’m sorry, for everything. for making you go through hell, for making you suffer from my harsh words. i was slapped into reality by hoseok. i should respect your choices.” you can tell it was hard for me to say the words im sorry… he was stuttering.

you look up at him and cringe. “it’s kinda weird hearing you say sorry, say it again and i’ll forgive you”

“I-im.. sorry,” he grumbled. You laugh at his attempt. “Are you okay though?”

“Yeah, im fine.” you lied right through your tears. Namjoon could see that you were hurting, and badly. Obviously, you didn't know how good he was with reading your emotions but he was. “I’m sorry,” Namjoon says clearly and the third and last time. You nod. “I overreacted, it’s fine.”

The whole afternoon and Namjoon and Hoseok were working on the already made tracks, adjusting it to your taste. The title track that you wanted to make personal but lively, came true. And your outro was just perfect. Everything finally tied together, and you could officially have a release date.

#bts #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts rm #bts namjoon #bts social media au #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon x reader #bts fake texts

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mlovesstories · 5 years

Text

You Know What You’re Doing Part 4

@spndeanbingo square: accidental confession

Words: 5200

Warnings: reference to sexual abuse, cussing, therapist,

AN- Thanks to @sbcamp08 for the beta!

Summary: They have a few breakthroughs... and setbacks.

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Masterlist of Masterlists

PART 4

“Wow!” YN gasped as she saw Vancouver from the plane as they were about to land.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Jensen chuckled.

“Oh yes. Do you travel like this all the time?”

“In first-class?”

“Yeah. I’ve only been on a plane once. I practically had to keep my legs on the seat. No room.”

“Not all the time. It’s nice when we’re with the kids though.”

“Well, this is fun.”

“I’m so glad you are not afraid of flying.” Jensen feigned a sigh of relief.

“Who said I wasn’t?” She looked away.

“What? Why didn’t you say anything?” Jensen faces her.

“‘Cause I wanted to come. I’m okay now.” Her excitement spoke for itself.

“You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Nah. Just a kid.” YN adjusted to a more comfortable sitting position, squirming at the praise.

Noticing her sudden discomfort, Jensen pushed, “YN, look at me.” He waited. “Please?”

“What, Jensen? I’m not tough, I’m not cool. I’m just a nobody foster kid. But now I’m a foster kid who gets to go out of the freaking country!” Her voice elevated with happiness laced on her tongue.

“I’m glad I can provide that opportunity for you.” Jensen took a satisfied deep breath, relieved the trip brought her joy.

“Please fasten your seatbelts belts as we are starting on our descent into beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia.” The airline staff walked up and down the aisles to collect trash before the pilot called for a final descent. YN screeched, squeezing her eyes shut and clawing at the armrests when the planes’ brakes were applied.

“You’re okay,” Jensen soothed her. “Should have reminded you of that little detail.”

As they taxied into the terminal, YN took a beat to control her breathing.

“Sorry. I wasn’t ready for that.” She started giggling. Jensen looked over and smirked at her.

As they walked through the airport, YN stayed close to Jensen. She reached for his belt loop and hooked her finger through it. He felt a tug on the side of his pants. When Jensen looked down, he saw what she had done. She immediately put her hand down at her side.

“Sorry.”

“There are a lot of people here and I don’t want you to get lost. It’s okay.” He smiled. “Come on.” He slowed his gate and gestured for her to return to her former position.

“Thanks,” YN looked down but was grateful.

“We gotta meet our driver, let’s hurry.”

…….

“This is your APARTMENT?” YN squealed. “It’s practically bigger than your house!” She slowly entered the living room and surveyed the Ackles’ living space.

“No, it isn’t, silly. The room down the hallway on the left is for you. Go drop your stuff so we can eat. Dean is getting hungry.”

YN heard the smile in his statement.

“You’re not as cool as Dean, Jensen.” YN rolled her eyes, folding over in laughter.

“What?!” He scoffed, acting offended.

She rolled her eyes, “Fine. Maybe you’re kinda cool.”

He scrunched his face in deliberation, shrugging before nodding and announcing, “Alright. I’ll take it.”

———-

“Wake up, YN. Time to get up.” Jensen whispered as he opened her door the next morning.

“Argh,” YN groaned, half asleep and grouchy, “Are you freaking serious, Jensen? It’s 4:30am.” She objected, whining.

“Yep, let’s go! Rise and shine!” He laughed and shut her door. “You’ve got an hour, kid!” Jensen shouted through the wall.

“Great,” YN sighed.

————

“Look who woke up before nine!” Jared ruffled YN’s hair as he greeted them on the set.

“Whatever, Jared,” she pushed his hand away.

“I heard about your accomplishment last week!” Jared huffed YN.

“Jensen.” She groaned.”You told him?” Her face flushed.

“Only because he wanted me to pick this up for you.” Jared turned around and gestured to a bicycle leaning against Jensen’s trailer. “It’s yours while you’re here if you want it. You can use it on the lot.”

“What?!”

“You have to wear a helmet though.” Jensen ordered. Jared produced a gray helmet from behind his back and put it on her head.

“Thank you!” YN hugged both of them separately. “I’ll wear it, promise! Thanks!” She held onto the helmet as it sat on her head and ran to the bike.

“Thanks, man.” Jensen whispered.

“Sure. Anything for our kids, right?” Jared nudged his friend with a nod.

“It’s perfect!” YN squealed. She moved it away from the trailer and looked at it from all angles. YN sat on the bike seat to see how her balance was. “Uh, Jensen?”

“Yeah?” He walked over with a concerned scowl.

“Can you help me change the seat? It’s too short.” The teen climbed back off the bike, holding it out towards Jensen as he approached.

“Oh!” Realizing that nothing was truly wrong, he adjusted it by pushing buttons and pulling the seat up farther. “Here. Try that.” He backed away for her to get on the bike.

“Oh, cool! Much better.”

“I know you want to ride it, but let me show you around first, okay? I don’t want you getting lost.”

With a frown, she got off the bike, took off her helmet and followed Jensen.

“Jared’s trailer is right next to mine-“ He pointed at the neighboring trailer.

“Are you sure it’s not ‘fake yours’?” She giggled.

“Very funny, smart-aleck.” He jokingly nudged her with his elbow forgetting to watch his quick actions around her. Her face changed from happiness to terror. She lurched away from the contact, pulling her arms back and away to smack at him in reaction, but Jared caught her arm from behind. Everyone froze. She looked at her wrist in Jared’s grip and back at the tallest Winchester while he still held her arm.

“I’m sorry! It was-“ YN apologized. Jared dropped her wrist from the hold.

“Instinct.” Jensen nodded. “Sorry, kiddo. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ll be more careful or ask first next time.”

YN maneuvered around the set easily. The lot was expansive, so her new wheels were of great assistance. As she approached the backside of Jared’s trailer, she heard grunting.

“Hey! Stop!” Jared yelled. She rounded the corner to see him in a headlock from another man.

“Hey!” YN came up behind the male and kicked the back of his knee making him go into a squat position. He let go of Jared as she continued kicking him.

“Woah! Kid! Stop!” Jared called for her attention. “Stunt guy! Stunt guy!” He assured her. “We were rehearsing, YN.”

“Oh-“ her jaw dropped. Horrified, she spun around and ran away to hide in Jensen’s trailer. The stunt guy stood up and brushed off his pants with a nod that he was okay as Jared chased after her.

Banging on the door when he realized she had locked it, Jared shouted, “It’s okay, YN! You didn’t mean it! It’s okay! Can you please open the door?”

He waited for a few seconds to start again, but he saw Cliff out of the corner of his eye.

“Cliff! Hey, can you toss me Jensen’s keys?”

The bodyguard ran toward the trailers. He took out a ring of keys and separated one that said “JA” on it. After he opened it, Jared ran in.

“It’s okay, sweet pea.” He took in her posture and behavior. YN was shaking on the floor, gripping a pillow from the couch. “I know you didn’t mean it, he’s fine,” Jared whispered. The girl stared ahead, his words not registering. He sat on the floor next to her, watching her movements. When she made eye contact he asked her, “Would you like me to do anything?” She nodded. YN wrapped her arms around herself. “A hug?” She affirmed his guess. “Okay, I’m going to scoot closer now.” YN opened her body to accept his presence.

“I’m so sorry! I thought he was hurting you!” She clung to his shirt.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Jared pulled her into him. There was a loud noise. She jumped. “Shh. It’s just Jensen.” The older Winchester brother walked in.

“What-“

“Not now,” Jared said lowly. “I got it.” He offered his TV brother a smile, assuring him that he would update the foster parent later.

“Okay. I’ll be at Craft Services.” He exited the trailer with worry, rubbing his forehead.

“Don’t worry about him. Just relax.”

Having Jensen enter the trailer made her upset again. YN tried to hold back tears of embarrassment, but she couldn’t. Her muscles tightened, and Jared took him arms away from her body because he thought she may react erratically. Once he stilled, she did the same.

“You’re okay,” he whispered. “Just breathe.”

He waited until she quieted before he asked, “What’s going on? You’ve been so scared.”

“Nothing,” she barely spoke.

“And I’m Ricky Ricardo.”

“I have a family.” She sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“I finally have a family, and it makes me nervous.”

“You’re afraid they’re going to be taken away?”

“Maybe. I’m just so scared. I’ve been with them for a few months now. They are the best family I’ve ever-“ She started heaving. “The stunt guy was hurting my family.”

“Okay. I get it. Breathe for me. Big belly breaths.”

————-

“We have a problem.” Danneel prompted.

“Dee, what’s going on?” Jensen saw the distraught look on his wife’s face.

“YN isn’t making progress in therapy. I just talked to Sarah-“

“Who?”

“The caseworker.” Jensen nodded. “She told me that the counselor hasn’t gotten anywhere with her the last few weeks.”

“But she’s been going to this guy for a long time, right?”

“Yeah, I think so. YN seems to trust him. She doesn’t mind going. I can tell by when I drop her off. She smiles. SMILES, Jensen.” Danneel huffed.

“Should we talk to her?” He wrapped his arms around her midsection and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I think I may take her shopping.”

“Retail therapy? Really, Dee?” He laughed at the cliche.

“If it works, it counts!” She smirked. “Can you watch the other babies while we go?”

“Fine,” Jensen rolled his eyes.

“Love you,” she thanked her husband.

Danneel walked upstairs to check in with YN. She heard sniffling which quieted when Danneel knocked on the door. A few seconds later YN opened it with red and puffy eyes..

Remaining calm and not wanting to overreact, Danneel kept an even tone. “I wanted to ask if you were interested in going shopping with me. I think we could use some girl time and a bit of retail therapy. You in?” Danneel beamed.

“Really?” YN’s eyes went wide, taken aback. “I mean,” she cleared her throat. “I love the babies, but-“.

“It’s nice to have grown up time, I know. Jensen is watching them while we go have fun. Let’s do it, then!”

————

“How come you didn’t ask why I was crying? I know you know I was crying,” YN asked Danneel as she drove to the local mall.

“I figured you would talk when you were ready,” the woman shrugged.

“Can I?”

“Sure, secret’s safe with me.” Danneel glanced over at YN before looking back at the road.

“I love you.”

Danneel took in what she said, surprised at the admission.

“I mean, like, your whole family. I love Donna and Alan, the babies, and you guys.”

“We love you too, sweetie. What’s bad about that?”

“I don’t know. Nothing? I guess I’ve just never loved anyone before. It’s weird, and I don’t know-I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Well, I’m so glad you love us. The feeling is mutual. It’s new, and new is okay. It’s just different. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Don’t be afraid of it. Love is a great feeling.”

“I just don’t know how to… I don’t know.”

“React, maybe?” Danneel prompted.

“Yeah. Like, what do I do now?”

“Well, once you have love for someone, you show them. You invest in them and do things with them. You spend time together, be silly, and have fun. At least that’s how we love.” Danneel was so proud of YN, but she shrugged as to not make a big deal about the issue.

“Oh. Like what we normally do?”

“Yep! That’s how true love works. You build up the people you love. Be thankful and appreciative of them and how they love you back.”

“I love you, Danneel.”

“I love you too, YN. We all love you so much.” Danneel couldn’t wait to get home and tell Jensen what had transpired.

————

When they arrived home after an evening of fun, there were two policemen waiting. Danneel looked at Jensen, confused.

“What’s going on?” She asked.

The police officers narrowed their eyes at YN, approaching the girls.

“Excuse me? I asked you something!” Danneel demanded, nudging YN slightly behind her yelled. The officers rolled their eyes.

“Ms. YLN, I presume?” One of them raised an eyebrow at the teen.

“Yeah?” YN growled and crossed her arms.

“Your neighbor next door believes you broke their window with a rock.”

“What?!” YN gasped. “That’s bullshit. No! I wouldn’t do that!”

“Turn around.” The other officer grabbed her shoulders and maneuvered her so that YN’s back was to him.

“Jay, Dee, I didn’t do anything, I promise.” YN started crying.

“Stop!” Jensen yelled at the officers as they handcuffed the teen. “She says she hasn’t done anything. What if we could prove it?”

“Sir, we have our culprit. I’m not sure why you even care. She isn’t yours anyway,” he said offhandedly.

“Excuse me?!” Danneel walked swiftly toward the officer.

“Dee! Don’t!” He put himself between his wife and the arresting officer. “I’ll show you the security cameras. Just wait. Could you do some actual investigating first? Come inside please.” Jensen led one of the investigators in while YN stayed outside, sitting on the front steps with Danneel and the other police detective.

A few minutes later, the officer returned with Jensen and told YN to stand up. She resisted. “They’re letting you go before I sue their asses!” Jensen gritted his teeth.

“Sorry for the misunderstanding.” The officer shrugged, unapologetically, “Y’all have a good day now,” he tipped his cowboy hat solemnly.

“What was that?” Danneel turned from the officer to Jensen as the boys in blue left the premises.

“He didn’t know we had a camera with a clear view. It was the officer’s son, not YN, who broke the window. I guess his house is close by. The officer was not thrilled that his boy was an idiot. I’m not sure why the neighbor assumed it was YN.”

“Because the neighbors know I’m just nobody,” she whispered as she entered the house and dejectedly moped up the stairs.

“Dammit!” Jensen rested his hands on his hips, dropping his head forward, and sighed. “Excuse me,” he marched down the steps toward the house next door.

When he arrived at their porch, he pounded on the door. As a women in her thirties answered, he interrupted her greeting. “Why would you assume that my daughter broke your damn window?” His eyes bore a hole into her forehead.

“Uh, excuse me?”

“Why did you blame YN when you talked to the police? Why did you think she broke your window? Because you think no one cares? That she’s just a throwaway?” He spoke quickly, spit flying out of his mouth.

“Excuse me! Jensen, I-“ She backtracked, red in the face.

“Stay away from her. Don’t make hasty assumptions next time!” He stomped down the stairs without a goodbye. As he entered his own house, he whispered to Danneel that the issue was taken care of. “I’m going to do damage control,” Jensen walked past his wife.

He got to YN’s door and heard rustling. He knocked but was concerned so he didn’t wait before entering. Jensen saw her clothes scattered everywhere and a bag half full with personal items.

“What are you doing?”

“Leaving. Isn’t that what everyone wants?”

“What? Why?” Jensen hated it. He hated all of it for her.

“No one cares. You might, but no one else does.”

“They don’t matter, sweetheart. I promise it feels like their opinions matter, but they really don’t.” His heart breaking for the child. His child.

“Easy for you to say, you’ve never been judged like this. Or maybe you’ve just learned how to block it out, but I haven’t!” she spat.

“Can I be honest?” He looked away. YN saw a change in his body language. She nodded as he made eye contact. She had never seen this side of him. “Sometimes I don’t block it out. Constantly being the butt of people’s jokes or knowing some people only like me for how I look is hard.”

“I thought you tuned that stuff out.”

“Most of the time. It helps that I have you guys. I don’t have to focus on me. I can spend time with the ones I love and provide for them. It’s a distraction, a very welcomed one.” Jensen walked toward her bed and crouched down. “Don’t let others dictate your life, okay? They aren’t you. You are you and that is truer than true. There is no one-“

“Alive that is youer than you.” She finished for him, smirking.

“It sounds dumb, but Dr. Seuss was right. Chin up, princess or the crown slips.” He grinned and bopped her chin.

“I’m not a princess.” YN looked away.

“You’re my princess. And that’s all that matters.”

“Really?” She narrowed her eyes at him skeptically.

“Yep. And that neighbor will leave you alone now. Nobody comes after my princess,” he stood up, holding his arms open, inviting YN into a bear hug.

“I’m your princess, too!” JJ matched in, joining the hug, wrapping her arms around both of their legs.

“Oh, Lordy.” Jensen sighed. YN giggled.

“No, you’re my little monster, remember? I have nicknames for everybody. Hers is princess, okay?” Jensen picked up the smaller girl.

“Okay! Mommy said it’s time to eat, and if we don’t get down there quick, she is gonna make us eat boogers!”

Jensen’s jaw dropped as he played along, gasping, “Oh no! Well, we better get down there then!” Jensen put her back down so she could scamper away, “Go on, JJ.” He turned back to YN, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders in a side hug, serious again for a moment.. “No more running. Okay? You don’t get to do that anymore. You belong here, okay? No matter what happens.” He whispered in YN’s ear before kissing the side of her head.

“Okay. I love you, Jensen,” she leaned into him.

What? Did she just really say that?

“I love you too, sweetie.” He squeezed her tighter before releasing her. “Let’s not have boogers for dinner, what do you say?”

“Yuck. Good plan.” She grinned, giggling.

Danneel’s footsteps were heard coming up the stairs. “Jensen! YN!” Her tone urgent. “Sarah is here!”

“What? Why?” YN instinctively angled herself behind her foster dad, gripping his bicep.

“I’m not sure. It’s okay. It may be nothing. Whatever it is, we’ll handle it together, okay?” They trudged down the stairs.

“Hey, girl!” Sarah grabbed her into a tight hug, squeezing the air out of YN’s lungs. “How are you?” YN relaxed when she saw the caseworker’s enthusiasm.

“I’m good,” she took a step back and resumed her position behind Jensen.

“Are you okay?” Sarah asked, concerned at YN’s body language.

“Are you going to take me away from them?” The skittish teen questioned, wary at the caseworker’s sudden appearance after the police almost arrested her.

YN’s eyes starting welling with tears until Sarah exclaimed “Oh, no no. Silly girl! I’m only here for a check-in.”

“Well, she is doing wonderfully here.” Danneel stepped in, defensively , smiling at Sarah. “She is such a delight. We were just about to eat, would you like to join us?”

“Oh, no, thank you, Danneel. I see you need to feed the little ones. How about i join you though, and we chat while you guys eat. The parents nodded their acquiescence. Jensen gestured towards the kitchen, ushering the group to the table.

As they started with dinner, YN stayed extra quiet.

“Pst!” Danneel tried to get her attention. YN’s head snapped up. “Want to help me put the babies and JJ down when we’re done here?” She asked, trying to distract YN from her obvious discomfort..

“Oh. Sure. No problem.” YN numbly replied.

“I heard about your interaction with the police today.”

“Sarah- I didn’t do it. Jensen has cameras. He can prove it.” YN blurted, the words rapidly tumbling out as her anxiety peaked.

“Okay. It’s okay. I trust you. I understand, at least a little bit. Even assumptions of bad behavior follow you, don’t they?” Jensen looked to YN. She nodded.

“She didn’t do it. This doesn’t need to be talked about anymore. YN is a good kid,” Danneel said sternly.

“I know. I was just saying that I didn’t think you did it is all.” The caseworker smiled weakly.

“Oh,” YN realized.

“Are you feeling good here?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah. It’s been great, honestly.”

“Can I talk to her alone for a minute?” Sarah looked to the parents, who nodded their permission.

“Sure, Sarah.” YN agreed as the two Ackles left the room, scooping up the younger kids and herded them into another room.

“I’m so proud of you, YN.” The caseworker leaned towards her, sharing as if it was a secret

“What?” The teen asked, side eye-ing the caseworker suspiciously.

“You’re thriving! You’re doing so well. I told you it would be okay. Doesn’t hurt that he’s a freaking TV hunk, right?”

“SARAH!” YN gasped, quietly chastising the woman. “He’s my d—!” She stopped, catching herself. “I mean, c’mon. He’s my foster dad,” she scoffed, correcting herself, switching back to a more reserved temperament .

Jensen heard that, listening from around the corner. He excused himself away from Danneel to the the backyard.

“Shit,” Jensen whispered. He rubbed a hand down his face as he found a tennis ball outside and walked toward their backyard wall. The concrete structure served as a catcher for his pitches. The ball always bouncing back to him.

“What’re you doing?” YN approached cautiously after a few minutes.

“Shit, YN!” He jumped and grabbed his chest. “You scared me.” He took a few deep breaths. “Just pitching.”

“Sarah doesn’t want to move me,” YN kicked a rock, glancing up to gauge his reaction.

“Good, I’m glad,” he sighed and opened his arms to embrace her. “You wanna try?” He offered her the tennis ball after a quick hug.

“I don’t know how, but okay,” she took the proffered ball out of his outstretched hand. He guided her through the pitching stance and motions. When she did it on her own, she did well, but he corrected her a few times. Once he stepped back, she gave a sly smile. “How about this?” YN threw the ball in an underhand motion toward the block wall at an incredible speed with great precision and aim.

“What the hell was that?” His mouth was open in shock.

“Gotcha!” She giggled. “I’ve played before,” she shrugged.

“Obviously! Holy crap, kid! You should try out for the school team.”

“No.” YN tossed the ball back to him with pursed lips and a tense body, “Good night, Jensen.

“What? Wait, why? What just happened?”

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll see you tom-“

He raced stepped in front of the girl to block her retreat.

“YN, why? Talk to me.” Jensen pushed, reaching caringly for her forearm.

“Stop! It’s fine!” She ripped her arm from his loose grasp and ran into the house. When he followed her in, Jensen heard her feet pounding up the stairs.

“Dammit!”

“What was that racket?” Danneel came down the stairs from putting the younger ones to bed.

“I think I just triggered her, and I didn’t mean to. I forced an issue, and she shut down. I’m so bad at this. I always mess up with her, and I don’t-“

“Stop, Jay!” Danneel implored. “Shh. I’m sure it will be fine.” She squeezed him arms down to his wrists. “It’s okay.” He started to speak but she motion for him to be quiet. “Breathe, babe.” After he let out a sigh, she told him to go relax while she went upstairs to check on the wayward/emotional teen.

YN heard footsteps.

“No. Go away, Jensen!” She screamed.

“You better not wake up those babies!” Danneel barged in.

“Sorry,” YN said, contrite and embarrassed.

“I know you’re upset, but you cannot run away and leave the room every time something happens. If we make you upset, tell us. And tell us why. We don’t know what’s going on in your head unless you talk to us.”

“I don’t know! I don’t want to play then Jensen kept bothering me about it, and he wouldn’t stop after I asked.” YN crawled into bed. Sitting back against the headboard, she pulled her knees to her chest then yanked the covers over herself. “Next time tell him to respect some boundaries!” She flopped over on her side facing away from Danneel.

“Fine, we can talk about it later. But we ARE talking about it later. Goodnight, YN.”

—————

“How can I help you?” Jared walked into his house from the garage. “Dee told me you ran here.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just needed to get out for a minute. I asked first though. I didn’t just run away. Promise.”

“You’re sweaty.”

“I physically ran here, but I told someone first,” she huffed, frustrated.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Jared threw his keys and wallet on the island in the kitchen before sitting with YN on the couch.

“I- I feel dumb.”

“How come?”

“Jensen kept asking stuff, and I couldn’t- I didn’t want to answer him.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“I told him to leave me alone.”

“That’s not the same thing, YN.”

“I know,” she put her head in her hands.

“Let’s practice then.” Jared suggested.

“Practice what?” YN looked up.

“Setting boundaries. I’ll help you use your words so that we know when you feel uneasy.”

“Oh. Okay. That sounds good.”

“You can’t use it as an excuse to ignore issues though.” He changed the conversation. “I’m going to try something. I want you to tell me which response seems more appropriate, okay?” YN nodded. “Pretend I’m Jensen and I notice you are more quiet and to yourself. You show me how you do something really well. I compliment you and ask about it. Your response was for him to go away. You ran up the stairs. I know whatever that triggered made you nervous, but let’s try another approach. If you had said, ‘Jensen, I don’t like talking about it, but when I feel ready, I will,’ does that sound better?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“See how that tells him that you feel nervous, but you trust him still?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Are you feeling okay? Should you make another appointment with your therapist this week?”

“I see him tomorrow. It’s nothing anyone can do. I’m okay.” YN shrugged.

“Take it or leave it, but emotions aren’t about what people can do. It’s about processing information. Jensen said something that made you nervous. No matter if anyone can DO something about it is irrelevant when you are feeling uneasy. He just wanted to listen, that’s all.”

“I’m used to it. It’s okay.”

“I need you to hear me. Are you listening?” Jared took her hand. She immediately moved away. “Sorry, YN.” He whispered. Jared scooted back. “Just because you’re used to something doesn’t mean you can’t rely on others. Give him an olive branch. You’ll be surprised.”

“I, umm. Don’t like baseball,” she blurted.

“Oh? It sounds as though you are very good at it, but you’re right, you don’t have to like it to be good at it.”

“I think I’m pretty good, but I just can’t. It reminds me of stuff.”

Jared knew it would be bad.

“That’s really unfortunate. Did you used to like it?”

“Yeah, until he-“ she stopped. “He hurt me. If we lost a game he blamed me.” YN tensed.

Jared tried to hide his anger. The older one’s shoulders tensed, and his jaw clenched. He wanted to hurt this person, but he knew it was not the time for that.

“I can see how you would no longer like it. That makes total sense. He can’t hurt you anymore. We would never let that-“

“I know. He’s still in my head though.”

“I, of all people, understand what you mean. Thank you for sharing that with me. He doesn’t sound like someone anyone would like,” Jared remained as even-tempered as possible.

“No. No one did. I got out, but I was with him for a few years before Sarah could move me.”

“Was it a foster parent?” Jared pushed, but he braced himself for a catastrophic reaction.

Slowly, she responded. “Yeah,” YN admitted. She sniffled, surprised it took this long for her to become emotional. “I’m okay, really. Just sometimes hard.”

“I can see that you are okay, but I know it has to be difficult remembering things like that.” Jared affirmed her.

“Yeah. Have you ever been hurt before?”

“By an authority figure? No. Someone I loved was though.”

“Who?”

“A friend from high school. She was my best friend. Her mom didn’t treat her right.”

“What happened to her?” YN asked more attentively.

“She struggled. One day she stopped coming to school, so I’m not sure, ultimately.”

“Her mom probably-“ YN assumed the worst. “Hurt her.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Why don’t you talk to your therapist and if he feels it necessary you can talk to Jensen?”

“Maybe,” she shrugged.

————-

“Someone- He hurt me,” YN stayed quietly. “That’s why I hate softball.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry that he did that.” Jensen said calmly. “What did-“

“Wait, Mr. Ackles.” The therapist interrupted him. Jensen shut his mouth. “Continue, YN.”

“I don’t think I’m ready to tell you yet,” YN looked away from his green eyes. Jensen was perplexed by her response, freezing for a beat.

“Okay, you don’t have to sweetness.” Jensen smiled.

“It’s going to take a lot of work for you all to communicate on this issue. YN, I’ve known you for a very long time. I don’t want you to feel as though you have to tell him. I would encourage you not to just yet.” Jensen gave him a challenged look. “Mr. Ackles, YN is learning to trust others, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes.”

“In order not to give away too much information too early in relationships, we work on developing trust first before sharing very personal traumas. Do you think that’s fair?”

“Yes, very much so.”

“Good. YN, if you feel you are ready, then please do and let me know how it goes. However, wait until YOU feel ready, okay? Not the right time for Jensen.. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll wait for you. No pressure. Thank you for letting me come today.” Jensen wrapped an arm around her as the exited the office.

__________

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