#but we have to text AND call these people ourselves so its 'personalized'

[nightmarist]

Some Zevlor Things —

EDIT 12/2/23: Added a few more things

A fellow Tiefling Hellrider, Tilses, is with him in the caves acting as his bodyguard. He sometimes calls her Tilly.

There is one bedroll in the caves shoved off in the far corner with a book titled "The Devil You Know: An Autobiography" - not sure if it's his personal writing or if he's reading it, either way it adds to the flavor of his of his tiefling pride (and/or anguish).

It reads:

Have you ever had a god change your blood? It is a horrifying thing, even for those who may desire it. Yet few tieflings wished for Asmodeus to claim their bodies, only be given no choice in the matter. It is not as if we were well-loved before the archdevil's gambit. Our people have always struggled against the notion of 'devilkin', as if a single drop of infernal ichor inescapably corrupts. How amusing, when so many others willingly sell their souls to fiends, yet their culture as a whole escapes the blame. By what method can we redeem ourselves, when the crime is not ours? I would drive a blade into every warlock that aided Asmodeus' damned ritual, but personal vengeance cannot undo the will of a god, much less one as slippery as the Lord of Lies. When every passerby thinks you a thief and heretic, it is deeply tempting to become one. (cut off) The only thing that has stopped me is knowing Asmodeus wants nothing more than for all of us to fall from grace.

Around the his table are Invasion Plans for Elturgard, Traveler's Guide to Baldur's Gate, Traveler's Guide to the Sword Coast Vol IV: The Risen Road (which aligns when he tells you earlier there are gnolls on the road), and "Front and Center: a Thespian's Memoir" that reads:

"... in fact, the greatest joy of my life hasn't been acting, but becoming. When you choose a character to play, you don't just wear a mask - you take a little bit of their soul for your own. Whoever you are in your heart of hearts, if only by the faintest note."

Zevlor aside I think this is a sweet quote for the player and player character relationship <3

Dialogue in the Caves:

Zevlor: I Hardly need a bodyguard, Tilses. This isn't Avernus. Tilses: No sir. At least the monsters there looked like monsters.

—

Tilses: Commander— Zevlor: Just Zevlor, Tilly. We're civilians now, remember? Tilses: With respect, sir — being a Hellrider is for life. They can't take — Zevlor: They can, and did. Avernus changed things — best we get used to that. Tilses: ... Yes, Zevlor

—

Tilses: The Watch or the Flaming Fist? Zevlor: Pardon? Tilses: When we get to Baldur's Gate. Where are we enlisting? Zevlor: I'm done soldiering, Tilly. I'd like a clean start. But go with the Watch. You're too honest to be a mercenary.

—

Zevlor: No word from the scouts, yet? Tilses: No sir. But if there's a clear path past the goblins, they'll find it. Zevlor: Yes, of course.

ITEMS —

in the Chest there is a bronze goblet, 46 gold, and a battle-worn blade. On his person he has his gloves (Hellrider's Pride), an apple, a camp supply pack, and the key to his chest.

The blade says:

A fine by well-used sword. It seemed to have once belonged to a holy order, but the indication of rank and patron deity at the hilt have recently been filed down.

The gloves' flavor text says:

A waft of sulphur emanates from this proudly-kept piece.

Celebration at the Camp:

"I should be out there, talking with them. In... Just a moment, maybe." "Is this everyone? Our numbers have grown so few..." "No more. I can't afford to lose any more of them." "No. Let them have fun. I'll be ruining it come morning anyway."

Mindfayer Colony:

Things he mumbles in the Pod:

The pod will show you his memories of Elturel:

After saving Zevlor, I forced myself to pick the "mean" options just to see how it goes.

If you tell him its his fault tieflings were imprisoned in moonrise, he says:

If you tell him "Do yo have a right to ask?" when he asks about the tieflings:

He doesn't argue with any of your remarks except one, when he says "For a moment I welcomed it" and you tell him "For a moment until you realized your reward would be a tadpole" he corrects you:

If you tell him if he wanted power he should live up to his own ideal:

If you tell him to get out of your sight:

When you tell him it's not his fault he was enthralled:

If you tell him "Fine. Good luck, Zevlor."

If you say you could use another blade in the fight to come:

At the Netherbrain:

(smiling <3)

"The journey has been brutal, but I stand here a Hellrider once more, and I would die a proud man if I died this day."

I know it's a Soldier thing to be proud to die for a cause but it still makes me worry for him given his background so far <:]

If you click on him, he has two unvoiced lines:

if you pickpocket him at this point, he'll have the same items on him as before (in this save he has a carrot instead of an apple for me).

His stats at this time: (Steeped in Bliss is from one of my items)

Post Game (Patch 5)

I don't know if there are other permutations of this letter, yet, but this is what I received:

I hope my penmanship has improved somewhat in the past months. When I first stumbled into this city, I shook so badly that I could scarcely hold the soup the priests pressed into my hands - let alone write and thank you as you deserve. It is only when the city itself began to shake that I felt my hands grow still. Along with the other veterans sheltering at the temple - discards of Elturel's 'unworthy' legions - I watched that monstrosity rise over the city. We felt no fear. Only anger. Disgust. Purpose - and with it, power. I do not know what oath we cling to now, or how long it will last - but we shall use it to ensure that this city will not suffer as Elturel did. Whether it wants us or not. It is more than thanks alone I owe. No words can make amends for what I did to my people, but that is as it should be. More come to the temple every day to aid in the relief efforts, and if I am permitted to work alongside them, then I am content. Come and see us, when you can. Zevlor

It's interesting — if not bitterswet, tragic, and inspiring — to hear that Zevlor and other Paladins regained their Oaths via pure, stubborn devotion to saving people when it began to look as bad as Elturel.

#zevlor #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #act 1 spoilers #act 2 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #this man reeks of self loathing i want to bathe him in love and comfort #i also want him carnally #act 3 spoilers #bg3 meta

[bringbacktim]

Reaction video (deleted scenes)-jschlatt

This was meant as a celebration for me getting 500 likes ( which is crazy thank you guys sm) but it took me so long to write it that I've now reached 1000 and have to think of something really good ( and smutty ) for that

This is all the embarrassing moments that didn't make the cut for the first imagine , basically reaction video (from the vault)

Warnings:mention of sex tape, swearing, making out , innuendos, god knows what else

Not edited or proofread

Wc:3k words

After seeing the positive reaction their fans had towards the YouTube video y/n and her boyfriend Jschlatt posted, which was just them embarrassing themselves the entire video , they decided to make a part two after finding out the same channel had made another embarrassing moments compilation

"We're back again and ready to embarrass ourselves" y/n said introducing the video

"And out our sex lives" schlatt added knowing they need to stop acting so unprofessional in front of cameras

Embarrassing moment #1

The first one was captured via Charlie's Instagram story at some fancy restaurant ted had invited : schlatt , y/n , and charlie to while they were in LA filming

"Before we even got there we were scolded by Ted to not do anything inappropriate because it was a fancy restaurant , he even made us sit opposite each other" she laughed remembering how Ted was like a concerned parent

"I just want to say before this clip plays , I had no part in this" schlatt said trying to clear his name

This moment was less of a continuous clip and more of a few intagram stories that consisted of just silly photographs of the tiny portions of food or Ted and Charlie doing some stupid joke

There was nothing really out of the ordinary or inappropriate and Ted was thanking the God's above . It was probably due to the fact that Y/n was typing away on her phone and schlatt was deep in conversation, but he was thankful nonetheless

"You've retyped that message a hundred times , what can you not figure out what to say" he asked trying not to be nosy but just wanted to help her

"Anything I say just sounds too needy" she said hoping he didn't get the sexual aspect she was hinting at

"Are you seriously sexting right now"he said with a shake of his head and a sigh

"Would you rather me do it in person" she said as he made a face that said 'good call'

"You and schlatt are the nastiest people I know , how do you sound "too needy"" he said using quotation marks to prove his point

"I'm not even going to bother showing you because it'll end up somewhere online" she half joked as she finally figured out what she wanted to text schlatt as ted turned to talk to him

The text was simple but also got the point across, but it also got in the frame for Charlie's video for barely two seconds as he did a quick sweep of the table , however the fans were quick to spot the 'quickie in the bathroom?' text appear on his screen , but Schlatt was too deep in conversation to hear his phone ping

"Right now? You pigs" Charlie said after putting his phone down , this catching Jschlatt's attention

"What are you talking about man" he said used to having that insult towards him and his sexual antics , but he hadn't done anything

"You might want to check your phone" Charlie said as schlatt checked his phone stood up and said "uh I'll be back in like 10 minutes" checking his watch as he waited for his girlfriend to also stand up

"Can't take them anywhere" Ted laughed recording them giggling and walking away as a punishment

"That wasn't as bad as I remembered , I mean that is a pretty tame text" he said looking at his girlfriend for her agreement

"I can tell Its going to go downhill from here" she said playing the next clip

Embarrassing moment #2

"If you don't want to be that crazy then you'll do ATM-ing , where you take the dick and slide it between the buttcheeks until you come and that's not sex, but it's like an ATM card" Qtcinderella explained to the group

"Okay so you can slide the card but you can't insert the chip" schlatt replied half serious half laughing

"The smirk on your face is so evident , you smug bastard" y/n said turning to her boyfriend as he put his hands up in surrender " ATM-ing  is not as fun as it sounds , I don't recommend"

"Care to elaborate on that" ted laughs turning his head to his left at lightning speed

"I felt like I was acting out sausage party" she replied cringing at the memory

"The thought is better than reality sad to say " Schlatt said getting closer to the microphone and basically whispering

Embarrasing moment #3

This one came from a stream he was doing and he found some beef jerky in the kitchen when he took a snack break, but it turned out to be disgusting

"I can't even apologise for this one , I stand by it"

"My guest appearance was everyone's favourite part let's be honest" his girlfriend said knowing his fans love her

"Chat don't ever try organic grass fed beef jerky , tastes like actual ass" he had to hold back a gag at how gross it was

"The broad must of bought it , I would never had gone for organic" chat went wild over the mention of you

"I hope they see this clip of me and shut the fucking company down" schlatt said walking to the other side of the room to get the trash can to show him throwing it away

As he holds it up to the camera for the dramatic effect it is evidently clear that there is a used condom very clearly sat in the bottom of the trash can next to a wrapper of some kind , after throwing away the beef jerky he saw chat going crazy about whatever was in the garbage

"Guys what are you going crazy over in chat" he said scrolling through the comments like an idiot instead of just looking in the object in his hand

Y/n was confused why her phone was blowing up with notifications from her fans saying to go see what schlatt was doing or to join his live, so she obviously did worried about whether he had just revealed something private or hurt himself

Joining his live to see him staring off into space clearly remembering him fucking her over the desk the night before in that short skirt he loved

"The way you stop in your fucking tracks trash can still in view just reliving it with no shame"

"It was a good night, can you blame me" he shrugged his shoulders

Calling his phone didn't snap him out of it , so she stormed into his office mortified that however many people could see what was in the garbage

Waving a hand in front of his face and taking it out of his hands seemed to do the trick as he blushed and started laughing

"You can't blame me , you wore that skirt last night knowing how it would end" he said forgetting they weren't the only two people on earth but also not caring

"Why do you think I keep wearing it" she laughed "didn't think it would distract you so much though"

"Can't wait for the photos and clips to circle the internet later" he said sitting back down in his chair as she said goodbye and left

" I don't know how you didn't get banned for that" his girlfriend questioned as he shrugged and chuckled

"They sent me a very stern email"

Embarrassing moment #4

This moment was captured via CCTV outside Ted's house , but he posted it to his Instagram story cause he thought it was funny (he was a little drunk)

Ted had invited Y/n and Schlatt over for dinner kind of like a double date , but also just to catch up

"You better not embarrass us tonight"  his girlfriend scolded him as they walked up to the door of Ted's house and she knocked on the door

"When have I ever not been on my best behaviour" he feigned innocence

"You do it every time we do anything, no one would even be phased if our tape got leaked" she joked

"You have to stop joking about that for my sanity"

"If you cared that much about it getting leaked you wouldn't keep it under no protection" Y/n said knocking again " what is taking Ted so long , I'm getting bored"

"I know a way we can pass the time" schlatt said trying to hold in his laugh at how cliche it was

"If I kiss you , promise me you'll never speak like that again" she said leaning in and closing the gap between them

Obviously, things got heated pretty quickly (it is them afterall) . So when the Nivison boy did eventually make it to the door , he was greeted with the sight of his good friend Jschlatt making out with his girlfriend with a very prominent hand on her behind

He awkwardly cleared his throat as they stepped apart

"Nice of you to finally let us in" schlatt joked walking past him and into the house

"Almost got dicked down in your driveway to pass the time" Y/n followed up

"You guys would've done it either way , just don't keep me up tonight" he warned before closing the door

"He actually kept us awake that night , but fortunately for him I didn't video it and post it on the internet" Y/n remarked

"Why did we pick careers with cameras everywhere" schlatt questioned with a confused face

Embarrassing moment #5

This one happened once again on stream , he was sat at his desk reacting to some compilation of something someone made him . Truth be told the only thing he could focus on was the feeling of his girlfriends mouth around his cock under the desk

Sure it was an adventurous thing to do and would most likely get them caught, but schlatt couldn't care less these reaction videos were getting boring and he needed something to stay focused

"This one is the most embarrassing, people still make fun of us for this" Y/n said hiding her head in her hands

"It was fun at the time, but oh my God do people not shut up about it" her boyfriend agreed lightly chuckling

Anytime he let a groan or any noise slip out he would try to cover it up by acting like he was reacting to the video and adding some comment onto it . All was well until she tried a new technique that almost made him blow a load in zero point two seconds , as she attempted to do it again by getting closer to him so she could get more of him in her mouth , but overestimated how much room there was between her head and the desk resulting in her losing her grip on the carpet and lunging forward resulting in a rather loud gag due to the acoustics of the wooden desk she was under

"Ow" she said pushing his chair back and her head peaking out just enough for the camera to see which obviously everyone saw and went mad for

He just pushed her head back under until he put his 'be back soon' screen up and checked if she was okay

"I didn't even want to go on Twitter for days after this , the one time this guy isn't screaming at the top of his lungs" y/n said pointing at him

"The acoustics of the desk didn't help with how loud the gag was either"  he added

Embarrassing moment #6

This one happened at Sneegsnag's wedding and was captured by Ted and uploaded to Instagram (he was past tipsy at this point)

"I can tell by that suit we're at Sneegsnag's wedding, but which moment is going to play is the question" y/n said hoping it was the tamer one

"I'm gonna guess the Ted one" jschlatt said making it into a game

As it was the Ted clip, he showed up on screen slurring some words into the camera before turning the camera around to pan across the entire room

He heard the slow songs starting to play and questioned why Y/n and Schlatt the most in love couple he knew weren't on the dance floor right now , so like any drunk wedding guest he stomped over to them phone still in hand and asked"why are you guys not dancing?"

"Big guy won't dance with me" his friend replied sulking

"C'mon man , don't be that guy" ted said pulling a face at his friend

"I'll dance if you and shae do" schlatt bargained

As ted looked at his friend y/n who was already looking at him with what can only be described as a pleasing look "fine" he said for the sake of his friend

"He could've stopped recording here and just made it look like a nice moment" Y/n pointed out knowing what was coming

"There's not a single nice moment of the three of us , or just the two of us" her boyfriend joked

Before they got to the dance floor where the photographer was most likely taking pictures , so she did what any good person would do and fixed his collar and smoothed out his shirt for him

"If I knew you'd be acting like my good housewife , I would've said yes to dancing the first time you asked" he laughed grabbing a handful of ass as she hid her face in his chest embarrassed about such a stupid joke being caught on camera . A joke that nonetheless was going to be labelled as offensive by people online

"People took that housewife joke and ran with it honestly" y/n said rolling her eyes

"Alot of people didn't realise that it was a harmless joke, this broad would make the worst housewife ever" he said trying to keep a serious face as he pressed play on the video

Embarrassing moment #7

This one was on an episode of chuckle sandwich , they were talking about how people who believe everything they see on the internet is true are idiots

"This one keeps me up at night , I apologise to whoever had to blur this part" she cringed hiding her head in her boyfriends shoulder as he attempted to soothe her by patting/rubbing the back of her head

"As soon as this happened, I begged everyone to let me edit that part of the video , I didn't want anyone else seeing it uncensored" Jschlatt said before pressing play , letting his possessive side shine through

"You're so possessive"

"How would you like it if I whipped out my cock for everyone to see " he turned towards her and asked as she agreed

"I keep getting DM's from fans asking if facts they see on social media are real or not , anyone else?" Ted asked the group

"No what the fuck type of fans do you have" schlatt laughed

"What facts do they want to know?"

Y/n asked

"I've never seen a single video on social media that had any true facts" charlie said

Schlatt muttered a 'true' in response to his friend, but was caught off guard by his girlfriend staring at him with an all knowing look from her square on screen "why are you staring at me like that" he said probably cutting off a conversation

"What about that tiktok you sent me the other day that said staring at boobs can make a man live longer, and you said it was "very true" his girlfriend called him out

"You guys can back me up here" he said leaning back in his seat and smirking

" I have to agree with schlatt on this one" Ted said standing up for his friend

"That's the first true fact I've heard that comes from social media" Charlie said contradicting his statement from earlier as they laughed

Schlatt heard a knock on his office door so went to open it thinking it was one of the cats , not expecting it to be his girlfriend

"What's wrong?" He said cat parent mode activating

"Is your camera off ?" She whispered

"What are you two doing in that doorway?" Ted said thinking it was probably sexual

"Hang on, I'll be back guys" schlatt said going to press the button that turned his camera off , but accidentally clicked the one that muted him

"Why are we always the ones being embarrassed, when is it anyone else's turn" Y/n said remembering how embarrassing this clip was

"Audio listeners love you to death , Y/n knocked on Schlatt's door and then he attempted to turn his camera off and failed, but he's across the room so won't hear us if we tell him"

What the trio (+tucker) didn't expect to happen next was for Y/n to pull the bottom of the shirt she was wearing upwards and flash everyone in that call . Charlie and Ted have never turned their head away from something so quickly and pretend to be doing something else

"This is just like when a sex scene comes on when you're watching a movie as a family and you gave to pretend to be interested in the carpet" charlie said trying to fill in the awkward pause

By the time Ted had told the audio listeners what just went down schlatt and Y/n were back in their respective squares on screen fully clothed

"You can wipe that smile off your face,we all just witnessed that" Ted said not bothering to beat around the bush

"Let me know when this gets edited" schlatt ended the conversation by saying

"When you said you censored my boobs out of the video I half expected a twin tower on each one" (don't tell me he wouldn't do that) she laughed as he hung his head in disappointment

"Why didn't I think of that , the powered by bitchdust bumper sticker seems stupid now"

After some more jokes and mean comments about their friends , they bid farewell to whoever would watch the video and made a pact to dial down the amount of embarrassing moments they produced

#jschlatt smut #jschlatt imagine #charlie slimecicle x reader #mcyt tag #schlatt #schlatt x reader #ted nivison #jschlatt imagines #jschlatt x y/n

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for distancing myself from my partner?

I, (17NB) and my partner (17NB) had a rough year. Thier family is super religious, and so is the place we live in, and we've had many fears about being outed. My family is less religious and I mostly raise myself so admittedly he's a lot more paranoid, and rightfully so I'd say. But ever since we've started dating I've had to ask them multiple times to improve thier communication.

To start off, I wish they were upfront, or atleast more firm about us breaking up, atleast in the first year. That wouldve solved a lot of heartbreak if they didn't want to be with me.

They dodged the question of physical intimacy of literally anything more than holding hands or cuddling multiple times, and yet mentioned they were ace offhandedly to a friend instead of giving me a straight answer (which I wouldve been fine with, I just wish they told me.) They tend to get angry quite easily and resort to snappish/ short answers, and, especially since them having a conversation with thier mom questioning thier sexuality, tend to abhor the smallest inkling of physical contact or sign that we're together, even if we're around friends who know, or alone.

After the conversation with thier mom, they asked to break up, but i basically pleaded for another chance and they agreed. I know it's my own fault at some point for beating a dead horse, but I recently had a conversation that kind of snapped the rose-tinted glasses right off.

We were discussing our futures, and there's a somber agreement neither of us will see each other again after school. Thats not what I'm upset about. They described having kids in a hetero marriage and joking to thier kids about the "wild" stuff they got up to in highschool like experimenting in a queer relationship, basically saying our entire 3 years of dating was a fluke or joke or experiment.

I realised this was the straw that broke the camel's back, they didn't really initiate or seem as eager as me about the sparse times we could go out alone together, they gave me a half finished craft I had to sew myself while I gave a painting for valentine's day, and various examples of bad communication. They're a good friend, I'm not so sure about partner.

So, I'm kinda trying to stop this year. I stopped frantically calling in school and rearranging lessons to be with them, I didnt spam text or think about making any gifts so far, I asked to have a..spicy experience with a friend or two (that my partner agreed with me doing). In my head I guess I told myself that we might call ourselves partners but the word just lost its meaning for us both.

So far, it's okay. It hurts, because it seems more like we're just friends instead of dating, but I want to focus on myself and my studies to get out of our really conservative area. Still, I feel guilty and a little resentful. I know I should've just accepted breaking up, but we're kinda codependant. They and I both know we can't be without each other.

They love me so much, I know that. They've done so so much for me and dragged me out of a horrible place pretty much single-handedly, they're just not great at communicating or emotional maturity. Also, they seem to think queer people go to hell in some self-imposed notion of religious guilt, and when I express resentment towards religions that push homophobia on thier followers they seem weirdly defensive of it.

For context, I have BPD (my partner has, for a long time being my 'favourite person') and what I'm reluctant to call "severe" trauma but it's been described as that. I'm genuinly curious to know if this is a result of some upbringing-induced overreaction or if its okay to just kinda give up on my own relationship. Yes, I'm aware that the best thing would be to break up but I dont think I could ever leave them, for some stupid reason.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[chand-ki-priyatama]

Ek Khat meri Pyari Sakhi ke naam ...

@btw-its-tamanna

Someone as beautiful as her name... Someone whose name means "Desire" and thus is desired by all.... To my Bestie "Tamanna" aka Jalebi and pishachini

From her Sakhi Rasmalai and Chudail aka me Kaya ek kaviyitri aur lekhika

Someone who's like sunshine in winter

Someone who feels like a warm hug after crying....

My bestie, Jalebi, pishachini, sakhi, sister from another mother, gawar , pagal and in short everything

Dear Sakhi ,

I wish you were here with me , we would have been besties irl too. I remember when I first interacted with you, pretty awkward wasn't it but look us now , behaving like two peas in a pod..... This actually proved that the best people are the most unexpected ones .....

You are the most opposite of me , me being outgoing, talkative, bubbly while you being shy , reserve and childish , yes I am the mature one but as said "opposites belong to each other" so in a sense we pretty much complete each other

We are always together in everything although not physically but whenever you see the stars and moon remember that they bind me together with everyone and whenever you feel alone just look at them somewhere I am doing that too...

They bind me to you

You are the most beautiful and sweet girl Jalebi... and even talented as hell , you won't accept it I know but you are....

These are your vibes according to me :-

You are the shoulder I cry on you are the one I rely on...

छू कर मेरे मन को किया तूने क्या इशारा

बदला ये मौसम लगे प्यारा जग सारा

I associate these lyrics with you cause you make me feel myself....

You are the literal ray of sunshine who can brighten up anyone's day with just an interaction with her....

Now imagine we met and you know my obsession with Polaroids so think these pics as them...

I am like your elder sister (even if it's just by days) so I know the best for you... I'll always make you remember that there's someone who's worshipping the ground you walk upon so never lower your standards for someone cause you deserve the best...

I'll definitely meet you irl once as we always discuss then we'll go on a tour together (hopefully) and Jalebi trust me or not I don't know about you but for me you have become an inevitable part of my life , so if you ever think I'll leave you , Nah never cause I am way too connected with you and the fact that I am clingy as hell...

If you were a colour I'd say you are blue cause Those with Blue color personality strengths tend to be enthusiastic, sympathetic, communicative, compassionate, idealistic, sincere and imaginative....

We both love reading that's the thing which is common in us , but you know what ,there is one more thing which is - we both love by our whole heart and soul..... we both would put ourselves at stake to protect our loved ones....

And that's why I admire you so much , in such a short span of time you have managed to be my favourite quite fascinating isn't it...

Whenever call you names , whenever I tease you , kabhi kabhi thoda daant bhi deti hu but trust me it all shows my everlasting love for you....

You definitely are Naina from yjhd cause you are that silent type girlie who'd let her loved ones go for their best you'd never even once try to come between their dreams....

You are so silent on group VC but whenever we are alone you seem to talk so much I don't know if it's because you don't want me to be upset or cause you genuinely enjoy talking to me, it's a dilemma fr

And whenever we text we both have so much to say , I've been through hard times the past month , so thank you so much for always being there for me..... thank you for making me believe in friendships again cause honestly I lost my faith way too early but guess what - you and few others revived it....

I know deep down you desire someone who can love you unconditionally, who is not going to judge you , someone who will cherish you.... You'll find that guy Tamanna , it's just the matter of time , you'll find someone jis par aap haq se keh sakti hai ki "ye sirf Mera hai" , and upon getting unrequited teenage crushes/love isn't it a part of growing up , let us experiment and experience the beauty of this sweet agonizing love... And as I always say , jab bhi kisi se mohabbat ho Jaye - "Mohabbat karlo par khuda se kaise ladoge kyunki do tarfa Mohabbat nahi kismat hoti hai " and it's true to an extent... So apni do tarfa kismat ka itminaan se intezar Karo kyunki sabr ka fal meetha hota hai....

And now imagine me playing a guitar and singing "long live" by Taylor Swift to you...

All these lyrics I dedicate them to you :-

"Will you take a moment?

Promise me this

That you'll stand by me forever

But if, God forbid,

fate should step in

And force us into a Goodbye

If you have children someday

When they point to the pictures

Please tell them my name

Long live the walls we crashed through

I had the time of my life with you"

So Yeah pretty much a beautiful song isn't it....

You are the brightest star in my sky and are loved and cherished by me always.... You cheer up everyone's life and we all are lucky to have you....

Just so you know I love you to the moon and back and will always desire the best for you... I'll always be by your side

As I always say I'll dedicate these songs to you and it's voice note well I already sent it to you....

Now I think I have spoken enough

So signing off pishachini

~With love always

-Kaya 💗

#Meri pyaari sundar pishachini ✨ #desiblr #desi aesthetic #Spotify

[actiwitch]

The Gods' myths sometimes include horrific or immoral aspects. That doesn't mean we should behave as if those myths dont exist!

(A Pagan perspective)

(tw: sa, misogyny)

When we are faced with myths that no longer fit in modern moral views (such as so much SA in Greek mythology alone there's a whole Wikipedia page on it) we should not shy away! Even if we don't like or approve of it, it's a part of the Gods' history and mythos.

All mythology is written by humans, and as such is unavoidably a product of its time. The way that anyone (including modern pagans) interprets the Gods as entities, or any interaction with them, is limited within our own culture, time period, and personal beliefs. By examining both the beliefs of the present and the past, we can decide for ourselves how we see the Gods while considering the context their myths were written in.

Even within one time period or similar group of people, such as modern pagans today, interpretations of the Gods can vary widely.

Zues is a cheating rapist. He is also a powerful god of the skies, lightning, and order.

Lucifer is literally the devil. An evil liar full of sins. And yet he is enlightening, independent, and honest.

Freyja is constantly associated (some say reduced) to sex. She uses her body for her gain, and is quite canonically called a slut. At the same time, she's the goddess of women! Of female power, both in mental skill and physical strength. She leads the Valkyries.

Loki is dark and deceptive, bringer of Ragnarok-- and he's a deity of change and freedom.

And neither is wrong. In mythology, both are true.

The Gods, all their aspects, and all the texts we have of them are complicated, complex, multifaceted, and interpretive- of course, there will be various understandings within pagan practices. No one view is superior to the other. Our understandings all exist on a scale, or rather some sort of mashup, of how important and what importance we attribute to various myths and aspects of deities.

When I worshipped Hera, I did so in two 'versions'. 1. Hera as resistance against men and abuse. I found solace and connection with her in powerful womanhood and female rage. I prayed to her before attending a pro-choice rally. And 2. Hera as a symbol of deep love, power, and marriage, and commitment. I lit her candle when my partner was over or when I needed a confidence boost.

These aspects never felt conflicting to me. Separate, maybe (I certainly wasn't thinking of any cheating or abuse in mythology as overlapping with the love and commitment)- but just part of one THING. Of Hera and everything surrounding her.

To many other deities of various 'immoral' aspects, these conflicting elements aren't just both present but often integral to their presence and worship.

Lucifer is often worshipped in rebellion. In healing from oppressive Christianity and finding light and understanding in that darkness.

Freyja is sexual! One of her many aspects. (which by the way, should not be seen as immoral. looking at yall, bs tumblr feminists) There is pleasure, joy, and power to be found in reclaiming that part of women we are told is shameful.

Loki is so much at once. He is outcast and destructive, and within that he spurs necessary change and chaos. So many pagans look to her as a symbol of queerness in the broadest sense and in facing the necessary chaos of growth.

TLDR: Don't just ignore aspects of mythology that feel uncomfortable (obviously unless something like trauma is involved). There is a lot to learn both from understanding the time and context their myths were written in as well as self-reflection on how certain myths or aspects of deities fit (or don't fit) within your practice.

#pagan #deites #paganism #deities #deitywork #norse paganism #deity work #paganblr #polytheist #hellenic polytheism #heathenry #the old gods #pagan witch #mythology #witch

[cinefairy]

also i want to add from my last ask that i personally believe that love and kindness is also essential to become the person you want to be.

(pure ramble here) i think mostly on social media specifically we’re so turned off from the idea of community and love. (🤷🏿‍♀️) like yes we should 100% focus on ourselves and continue to glow up/revamp ourselves or whatever you want to call it but at the same time lets not forget we all have a responsibility!!?

we all have a responsibility to care for one another, we have a responsibility to support the people who are around us. lets not abandon love.

and you can learn from it and oh my gosh you can grow from it, the more i poured my love for the people around me. the more i stopped to actually just become selfless and help some stranger the more i actually came to enjoy life. the more i interacted with beautiful human beings who also just want to be happy.

its not a bad thing to love, its not a cringey thing, its not a horrible thing to care and show your vulnerability…we need more of it actually.

i cant exactly put it into words what i want to say but sometimes i log onto tiktok or twitter with passages of texts saying the key to becoming a better you is to ghost everyone/turn off notifications and become the best and go to school and make everyone around you jealous etc and it confuses me why we as humans who are capable of expressing love we choose to spend our time trying to make a few people jealous? what is the goal there? why?

[harry-on-broadway]

The Last Line: Part Five

Part Five

Word Count: 5.2K || Series Masterlist || Rating: M

***

“It’s perfect.” 

“Really?” Penny blinked. “You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m not,” Skylar said with a light laugh. “There are a couple of things we might want to move around, but this will be a very light edit. Great work, Penny.” 

“Thanks,” Penny said, still in a state of shock. “I didn’t think it would be that good. I mean, I didn’t even think about it while I was writing. It was…” she searched for the right descriptor. “Word vomit, as gross as that sounds.”

“We often produce our greatest works when we give ourselves the space to say what we want to say without self-censoring. I wanted the articles in this series to come from the heart and that’s clearly where you pulled this from, Penny. I should have edits to you later this afternoon and we’re well on track to publish it tomorrow morning.”

“Sounds good. I have a couple of calls but I can make time to review it this afternoon.” Penny paused on her way out of the room. “Thank you again. For giving me this opportunity. And for helping me. With everything.” She inhaled sharply, feeling tears prick in her eyes. 

“I’m lucky to work with an incredible person like yourself, Penny,” Skylar said. “Helping you, guiding you, it’s my pleasure.” 

Penny could feel the eyes of her newsroom on her during the brief walk back to her desk. In the weeks since her meltdown in the conference room, Penny’s coworkers had begun to treat with a newfound sense of respect. Darren had been asked to seek other work in its aftermath of the incident and Penny’s subsequent relationship with Skylar had the others viewing her as some sort of deity. 

“Well?” Chloe asked as Penny slid into her desk chair. 

“She loved it.”

“As I knew she would.”

“She said she thinks it’s going to run tomorrow morning.” 

“So soon! Amazing!”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think he’ll…?” Chloe didn’t need to finish her question. 

“I don’t know.” Penny swirled her straw in her cup, trying to get a sip of the vanilla syrup that had gotten trapped underneath the layers of ice and coffee. 

“Has he still been creeping?”

“Yes.” They hadn’t spoken since that night at her apartment and Harry continued to ignore every text and voicemail she left for him, but he was still lurking in her instagram stories. She’d started testing him, posting random and mundane shit like her morning coffee and the song she was currently listening to on Spotify. Regardless of whatever her story was, he was the first one to view it. 

“And do you think he’ll take the bait?”

“I hope so! Otherwise I don’t know what I’ll do. I just –” 

“Hey, it’s fine,” Chloe said, attempting to soothe Penny’s distress. “This is going to work. I promise you that.” 

Hours later, Penny’s Slack app chimed with a note from Skylar saying that edits were ready for her to review. As promised, her suggestions were minimal and Penny cleared them all within a half hour. She knew legal and design and all of the other departments involved would need to sign off on their end before it could be official, but by 8am tomorrow, her words would be out in the world. 

She didn’t know why she felt so nervous. She’s been through this hundreds of times before, but never had she shared something so personal with the hundreds (Or was it thousands?) of people who read the site everyday. It felt like she was giving a piece of her soul for public consumption. All in the hopes of winning back a man who never wanted to see her again. 

She sighed and closed her laptop. “I’m going to head out,” she said to no one in particular, earning a handful of half-hearted acknowledgements from those who were scattered around her. In her car, she opened one of the playlists Harry had shared with her and pressed play. Feeling the music wash over her, she pulled out of the garage and drove home preparing for the most nerve-wracking night of her life. 

***

August 17, 2019 

The Start of Something New 

By Penny Sanders 

This coming November will mark one year since I joined the staff at The Moment and four years since I accepted my first, official, grown-up journalism job. Ahead of these personal milestones, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what it means to be a journalist, specifically one that covers the arts. 

One of the main tenets of being a good journalist is objectivity. You’re there to present the facts in an unbiased way, calling out injustices and holding truth to power. Everyone learns that in their freshman mass comm class. But what they don’t tell you is how that rule isn’t always so cut and dry. 

While I do a bit of everything when it comes to music coverage here at The Moment, my primary role has been that of a critic, reviewing concerts and albums and giving you my honest take on them. It’s a dream job for many, but it’s also one that has caused me a great deal of stress and anxiety over the years. 

I’ve struggled to be harsh (even when a well-pointed criticism is deserved). I’ve struggled to hone a voice, oscillating between gushing fan girl and hardened veteran to appear as if I know what I’m talking about. And I’ve been a victim of intense (at times almost debilitating) imposter syndrome, second guessing that my opinions and ideas are even worth sharing. 

But all that has changed in recent months as I’ve started to venture down a new professional path, chatting with and profiling newsmakers in this industry we all love. Sitting down for these interviews, I’ve always expected the cold formality that has long been associated with an industry presser – say your question and get your answer as quickly as possible, foregoing any sort of human interaction. Instead, what I found was a connection I never knew I had been looking for. 

Recently, I had a chat with an artist who shall go unnamed. I’d reviewed their work before, and while I might have been fair in my assessment of their music, I wasn’t necessarily kind, something that I didn’t realize the impact of until we had a chance to speak face-to-face in an informal setting. As we spoke about our respective writing processes, I had a realization. We were one in the same. We found our way to an industry where everyone speaks the same language, found a pack to call home, and were creating the art we always wanted to, even if it was on opposite sides of the line. That conversation, along with subsequent others, really put into perspective the fact that you can’t separate the personal and professional when it comes to art, as a piece of you will always live inside your creation. 

So, why am I rambling about this and forcing you to read it at 8am as you have your morning coffee? Because I’m making some changes starting today. 

You’ll still see me around town and on the website reviewing concerts and albums (like I’d ever give that up!), but I’ll be expanding my coverage area as well. I’ll be chatting with some of the biggest names in the industry, cutting through the scripted BS and having real, human conversations about the thing we love most: music. I’ll also be sharing more personal essays about my own thoughts and feelings on the business of the day in an effort to start a conversation with you, our readers. 

So, if you’re reading this (and hopefully you still are), what are you waiting for? Let’s chat. My schedule’s wide open. 

***

Penny jolted awake at 6am the next morning. She had a couple of hours before she’d be able to share her article and put her plan into motion, so she took her time getting ready, blasting an early 2000s pop punk playlist while she did her makeup and drank her coffee. At precisely eight, she opened up The Moment’s website on her phone, grabbing the link to her article before navigating to Instagram. 

She’d already preselected a photo – a throwback shot of her in one of her dad’s old concert tees, cheesing hard in front of a record store. She posted it to her story with a quick caption (Tried something new and got a little personal this morning) and a link to the piece. She watched the progress wheel fill as the story uploaded and when it was finished, she opened it again, instantly spotting Harry’s profile picture in the bottom left corner. 

Distraction was essential to the next phase of the plan, so she tossed her phone in her bag, grabbed a thermos of coffee, and started the drive into the office. She could feel her phone burning a hole in her canvas tote, but she ignored it until she was seated at her desk. Her mom and one of her college roommates had replied encouragingly, but there was nothing from Harry. 

Doug, the SEO coordinator, greeted her brightly as he made his way to his cubicle. “Already getting a lot of traffic on it. Great work!” 

“Thanks.” She checked her phone again. Nothing. 

There was an editorial meeting that morning, and then Skylar took her for a celebratory pastry from the bakery across the commons before Penny’s afternoon interview with a photographer. When she finally got to check her phone over lunch, there were tons of notifications, but as she scanned through them all there were none from Harry. In the middle of the afternoon slump, she saw an email come in from Jeff – it was a simple “Nice job!” Not the most encouraging thing, but if Jeff had read it, it was probably safe to assume Harry had as well. 

Tom messaged her a little while later, a long and meandering note professing how proud he was of her and how great it was. The most interesting tidbit came at the end though. I think you’ll be surprised by the impact this has. 

“What does that mean?” she asked, passing her phone to Chloe.

“I don’t know, that you’re the voice that will define our generation?”

“Be serious.”

“I honestly don’t know! On the surface, it seems like a general ‘this is going to resonate with a wide audience’ comment, but maybe on a deeper level he’s talking about…you know.”

“But that’s not your first instinct.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Damn it.”

“Pen, it’s OK. We know he saw your post and that’s a start. Maybe he hasn’t had time to sit and read it but will later today or something.”

“Maybe…”

That night as Penny left the office, her head was somewhere else, deep in a daydream of what it would have been like if her plan had worked. Harry would have been outside her door with a cup of coffee and a bouquet of flowers. There would have been a kiss and maybe a little something else, but most importantly she’d have her friend back. Her eyes were on the ground, so it was the loafers and socks that she saw first. 

“Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill me?” she yelped, her heart racing.

“I didn’t know how else to find you.” Harry stood sheepishly slouching against her car door, wide-leg trousers slung low on his hips, bowling shirt unbuttoned just a little too far. 

“You could have come inside the building for starters? Or texted me? I know your phone is still working Mr. Instagram lurker.”

“You knew that was me?”

“It was pretty fucking obvious to anyone that knows you. And we had a bunch of mutuals including Tom, Jeff, and Mitch.”

“Fuck, I thought I was being a little more low key.” 

“Sorry.” Penny shifted uncomfortably. “So-” She was interrupted by boisterous laughter from a group making their way to a group of cars one lot over. 

“Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private to talk?” Harry asked. “If you’re comfortable with that?”

“Um, yeah that would be great. Do you want me to drive?”

Harry nodded affirmatively. “I bummed a ride off of Jeff so I am currently without transport.”

“Jeff’s a good friend. I would have made you hitchhike.” 

Harry snickered as he opened the passenger door and slid in. 

“Do you mind if we make a stop?” Penny asked as she pulled out onto the main road. 

“Not at all.”

“Good. I have a tradition after I publish an article.”

“What’s that?”

“An In-and-Out milkshake. Do you want one?”

“Chocolate, please.” 

Penny cruised through the drive-thru, grabbing the milkshakes as Harry tried to go unnoticed beside her. Ice cream in hand, she continued driving until they made it back to her apartment. 

“This is about as private as it gets,” she said, stirring the thick liquid with her straw. “We can stay in the car if you’d prefer.”

“No, let’s go in.” 

Harry stayed two steps behind Penny as she climbed out of the car and unlocked her front door. He followed her lead, taking his shoes off and sitting down on the couch. He took a sip of his milkshake and Penny mirrored his action. Neither was sure who should be the first to speak. 

“I’m sorry,” Penny said, thawing the awkward chill that had settled between them. “I know that’s an empty word, especially between us, but I just need you to know that I regret how everything blew up. I have an explanation for it all but none of that matters when you were hurt by my actions.” She paused. “I really hope you forgive me, but I won’t ask you to, as what I did crossed a line.” 

“I forgive you.” Harry said without hesitation. “And I would like to hear your explanation for what it’s worth.”

“Oh-kay.” Penny shifted, tucking her legs under her and turning to look at Harry more directly. “So you know how I’ve been trying to mix things up at work, write some more serious pieces? Well, it just so happened that Tom gave me one on a silver platter when he mentioned you were working on a new album. My intent was just to break some news, get a scoop that could show my editors that I could do it. But then I got to know you and you were telling me things that would have made for an amazing story and I just got carried away. I made the wrong choice to keep taking notes and working on this hypothetical story. Then Darren –”

“The asshole.”

“Yes, the asshole. He got involved and it spiraled out of control and things got complicated because of….” Penny trailed off, searching for the right word. “Us.” Penny looked up at Harry. “It’s important to me that you know I would have never published anything you told me after all of that. I value you as a person more than any sort of splashy article.” 

Harry nodded slowly. His face was serene but his fingers were working overtime, twisting the ring on his finger at warp speed. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me like that but just seeing those notes you had…” He chewed on his lip and his eyes grew damp. “It used to be so hard to figure out when someone was using me and when someone just wanted me for me. But thankfully, I’ve become a pretty good judge of that. I thought you were one of the good ones so seeing that just made me really second guess not only what we had and how I felt about us but it made me question my judgment. Do any of my friends actually care about me? It was a rough time. I’m still working through some of that if I’m being honest.”

“I hate that I was the cause of that.” 

“It was bound to happen eventually so don’t be too hard on yourself,” he said with a wry laugh. 

“Well either way…I’m glad my selfish actions helped you grow? That feels weird to say.” Penny laughed. “Anyways, I’m happy we were able to clear the air. I much prefer talking to you face to face instead of watching you lurk on my Instagram stories.”

Harry laughed before placing his cup on the coffee table. “Speaking of talking…I actually did want to discuss something with you.” He cleared his throat.” “That night…the last time we saw each other…what you said? About why you couldn’t do that profile?”

“Mhmm.”

“What did you mean that you love me?”

Penny took a long sip from her drink, buying herself some time to think. “I hated you the first time we met and I don’t know why because I feel like you’re the only person to ever truly understand me. You know what I’m thinking before I say it, you see things in the same way as me, and you make me feel invincible. That day that you read that article that Darren killed…I felt so supported in a way that I haven’t really before, which is like weird to say because I have friends and family who care about me, but standing in that coffee shop with you holding my hand and telling me I was good at my job was something I never knew I needed. But once I had a taste of it, I knew I had to have it forever.” She finished speaking and looked at Harry, who had an indiscernible expression on his face. “That was a lot, I know but you–”

“Can I kiss you?” His voice was low, his question was tentative, and Penny couldn’t even be sure that was what he actually said, but she nodded anyway. At this point, she would have given him permission to do anything. 

He approached her carefully, as if any sudden move would scare her away, cupping the back of her head with his hand and drawing her closer to him. 

Their first kiss was nothing like Penny had imagined. In her dreams, she’d envisioned everything from a quick peck on the cheek after he walked her home, to a feverish, tongue laden precursor to fucking. In actuality, it was gentle, yet firm, and despite the simplicity of it, the gesture was charged with more emotion than any kiss she’d had before. She didn’t even realize how lightheaded she was until they broke apart and she found herself gasping for breath. 

She met Harry’s eyes and exhaled. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that.” 

It was like the kiss had unleashed something lurking deep inside them both and Harry lunged towards her, pressing his lips against hers again and again and again, pushing her flat on the couch, the remnants of their milkshakes long forgotten. Penny tried to memorize every detail: the weight of his body against hers, the softness of his lips on hers, the silkiness of his hair as she ran her fingers through it. She tried to stay in the moment, but the sensation of his body rubbing against hers made it hard to not think about what would happen next. 

“Ow!” Her head bumped uncomfortably against the arm of the couch as she slid down further.

“Are you alright?” Harry asked, pulling back and checking her for any harm. His lips were swollen and his curls were disheveled. “What’s wrong?”

“I just bumped my head.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine. Just a little cramped here.” Penny swallowed. “My bed might be more comfortable. If you’d like to move there.” 

There was a heavy pause and Penny prayed she hadn’t misread the moment.  Harry’s eyes glazed over as he processed what she said. “Um, yeah, that’s great. Lead the way.” 

Penny breathed a sigh of relief as he climbed off of her and helped her stand, keeping his hand entwined with hers as they made the brief journey to Penny’s bedroom. She backed him up into the room, and Harry fell back on the bed. Penny climbed astride him, kissing him again and again and again, and she ground her center against his growing erection. 

They’d waited for what felt like forever, but when they had nothing but time in front of them, there was no need to rush, even as Penny felt herself grow wetter with touch and caress. As Harry sucked kiss after kiss from her lips, she realized she’d never really thought about how hot kissing could be. Maybe it was just that she’d never been properly kissed, something Harry was working hard to rectify. 

Harry wound his fingers in her hair gently pulling her head back to expose the column of her throat. He nipped at the sensitive skin, sucking a kiss from it before soothing the spot with his tongue. He repeated the process up and down her neck until his fingers fell to the hem of her shirt.

“Is it OK if I take this off?” he asked.

“Yes,” Penny said, guiding his hands as they pulled her t-shirt up and over her head. She unhooked her bra as he tossed the shirt aside. Her bra followed leaving her naked from the waist up. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, absentmindedly rubbing his fingers up and down her side as his eyes took in every piece of her. “Come here.” He pulled her close and started kissing every inch of skin he could see. “So fucking beautiful.” 

Penny shifted so one of Harry’s legs was nestled between hers, giving her the pressure she craved as Harry continued kissing her neck. After a few minutes she stopped him. “I’m going to take these off if that works?” she asked, gesturing to her jeans. 

Harry nodded. “I should probably do the same.” He pulled his shirt off in one fluid motion and pulled his pants and briefs down next. Penny couldn’t help but stare. 

“Stop it, I’m shy.”. 

“You’ve got nothing to be shy about,” Penny said, trying not to let on exactly how impressed she was with what she saw in front of her. 

Harry cleared his throat, and Penny couldn’t tell if the flush in his cheeks was a result of their activities or embarrassment. “Do you have a condom?” he asked. 

“Oh, yeah. There’s probably one around here somewhere.” Penny opened the drawer of her bedside table and dug through the mess. “That one is expired,” she said, tossing it to the waste basket. “And this one is….” she squinted to read the date. “Still good! We’re in the clear.” Harry laughed and it was her turn to blush. “What can I say, it’s been awhile since I needed one.” 

“No judgment as I’ve also been in a bit of a dry spell.” Harry took the condom from her and adjusted himself and Penny watched. She was still in shock that this was actually happening and was half convinced that she’d wake up from this dream any minute. 

“Penny?”

“Oh, sorry! Did you say something?”

“I just asked how you want to do this?” Harry asked. “What’s usually best for you?” 

“Oh…” Penny wasn’t sure if she’d ever had a partner ask her about her preference so directly, especially on the first hook up. She scoured her brain trying to think of what she actually liked and what wouldn’t be too intense for what could just be a casual hook up. “Um, usually just missionary is fine. But I also like to be on my knees occasionally.” She cleared her throat. “What about you?”

“I’m going to be honest with you, Penny, I think anything with you would get me across the finish line.” One look at his cock and she knew he wasn’t lying. She hopped up on the bed and got on her knees without a second thought. 

Penny could feel Harry lining himself up with her as she braced her hands against the headboard. It had been a minute since her bed had seen this much activity and she prayed the IKEA frame would hold up. Harry dragged his tip over her and she squirmed with the anticipation of what would happen next. The first thrust caught her off guard and she pitched forward. 

“Careful,” Harry said. His voice was soft, but its usual gentleness had been replaced by something harder. “Do you need me to stop?” 

“Please, no,” Penny panted. He’d reached a spot deep inside on just one thrust and she just needed a minute to adjust to him. The burn of him inside her was unmatched, the perfect combination of pain and pleasure. Harry had wrapped one arm around her waist holding her steady as she adjusted, lightly tracing abstract patterns over her skin. “OK, you can go,” she half whispered, half moaned.   

Harry anchored his hands on her hips as he thrust in and out in a painstakingly slow rhythm. It was torture – for the both of them – Penny presumed, and she felt the beginnings of an orgasm building inside of her. She could feel the pressure of his hand against her hip, knowing it would leave a bruise tomorrow, a thought that turned her on even more. Harry moved his hand up her body, settling on her breast and rolling her nipple as he increased the pace of his thrusts. It was all consuming, but Penny still needed more. She reached down to stroke her clit, the bud already tender and slippery with arousal. She was close, she could feel it. Just one more stroke and –. 

“Can we –?” Harry asked breathlessly as he attempted to flip Penny onto her back. “I want to see you. I need to see you.” Penny complied, her body pliant in his arms as he placed her gently on her back before ducking down for a deep kiss as he locked his fingers with hers. 

He pulled away and gently pushed inside of her, eyes not leaving hers. Even if she wanted to, Penny wasn’t sure she could look away. She was transfixed by what she saw in front of her. Harry’s skin and hair were damp from exertion, and the curls she’d been playing with earlier were pressed against his forehead. She could feel the tremble of his muscles and when she buried her nose in his neck, she got a whiff of the scent that could only be described as Harry. 

“Are y-you close?” Harry asked as his hips stuttered. 

“Yeah, I am.” 

“Can you come for me, baby? I need you to.”

It could have been Harry calling her baby or it could have been the feeling of him rubbing against her clit or it could have just been the intense passion she felt between them, but Penny pitched over the edge, moaning Harry’s name as she fell. 

“That’s it, baby,” he moaned, as he spilled into the condom. “That’s it. So fucking good.” 

He fell forward, resting his full weight on her as they lay there. He pressed kisses against every bit of skin his mouth could reach and she raked her fingers up and down his back and through his hair. Penny didn’t know how long they lay there like that but even when she felt their sweaty skin start to stick together she made no effort to move. 

She wasn’t letting Harry go ever again.  

***

When Penny woke up, Harry’s arm was heavy around her waist and she could feel his breath on her back. He radiated heat and despite the uncomfortable stickiness of the sweat that covered her, she made no effort to move. She had no idea how to define what had happened last night – and again in the early hours of the morning – but she knew she didn’t want this to be the end. 

She could feel Harry stir behind her and she carefully twisted around in his arms to sneak another look at him. He was so peaceful when he slept, his hair a tangled mess on the pillow. He snored lightly, almost like a whistle, and he was most definitely a cuddler. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly, lulled back to sleep by the gentle rhythm of Harry’s breathing, only to be jolted awake by the sound of her alarm. 

Harry slowly opened his eyes, squinting against the faint light that was trickling in through the curtains. He looked around, getting his bearings before smiling at Penny as she silenced the alarm.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “I usually don’t have to worry about waking anyone else up.” 

“It’s not a problem,” he slurred, his voice still thick with sleep. “Should probably be getting up now anyways.” 

“You could stay for breakfast,” Penny offered, hoping she wasn’t misreading the situation. “I make a mean egg and cheese and have beans from the coffee shop down the block.” 

“I’d love nothing more than that.” Harry leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips, before rolling over to grab his phone. The gesture felt so normal, as if he’d done it every morning. 

“Shit,” he laughed. “I’m going to have a lot to explain today.”

“What’s wrong?”

He angled his phone so that Penny could read the screen. It was filled with messages from Tom, Tommy, and Jeff. “I told them I was planning to see you and they were very supportive of that decision. I think they’ll be thrilled with this development.” 

“Which is…?” Penny asked, testing the waters. 

“Us being together.” Harry’s eyes widened at Penny’s noticeable silence. “Unless I’ve completely misread this.” 

“No, no, no.” Penny leaned over to kiss him. “I want that. Us, I mean. I just didn’t think you’d want me after everything.” 

“You’re absolutely insane for thinking that, Penny. I’ve been waiting my entire life for you and I’m not letting you get away again.” Penny reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly, knowing that there were no words she could say to accurately convey how she felt in that moment. “Now come on,” Harry said. “You mentioned something about a breakfast sandwich?” 

Harry looked perfectly at home in her kitchen as she directed him on where to find the ingredients for their breakfast. They moved through the small space as if executing a perfectly coordinated dance routine neither of them had been taught, before sitting down at Penny’s table to eat together. 

“What do you have planned for today?” Harry asked. 

“Well, I’m going to go to work and then I’m going to head home.”

“No shows?”

“Not tonight.”

“Well,” Harry said, dabbing the corner of his mouth with a napkin. “I would like to take you out. On a proper date. Could I pick you up at the office? Say around six?”

“It’s a date,” Penny said, smiling from ear to ear.

When the breakfast dishes had been washed and dried and Harry had donned his clothes from the night before, they lingered by the front door, not wanting to say goodbye. 

“A kiss for the road?” Harry asked. Penny stood on her tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “I’ll see you later then,” he said, unlocking the door. 

“Harry?” she asked, suddenly bashful. “You don’t have to answer, but what made you give me another chance?” He was so quiet, she wasn’t sure he had heard her. 

“It was your article,” he finally said, turning back to look at her. “You got me with the last line.” 

***

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has read this far and has stuck with this story despite its infrequent updates. This one was really personal for me to write so I greatly appreciate all of the ten people who have read this. 🫶🏻 Would love to hear what you think of the end!

talk to me! || story inspo

taglist: @harrysfolklore​ @platinumbarbie143​ @majasophieanna​ @lukesaprince​ @styles217​ @andwhenshesays​ @be-with-me-so-happily​ @hslllot​ @b-reads-things​ @awesomenavy​ @sweetwanderlust05​ @permanentllyharry​ @reveriehs @very-berry-harry​ @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite​ @jerseygirlinca​ @st-ev-ie​ @kahluamystery97​ @indierockgirrl​ @copiastricycle​ @autumnleaves1991-reads​

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles series #harry styles ff #harry styles x ofc #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry fic #harry fanfic #harry fluff #harry smut

[mrs-monaghan]

Another entry. Firstly, Still With Me? Did JK release a new song that I didn’t know about? Secondly, I would rather speculate that a song is about someone then a hand gesture that a lot of people do.

I saw them coming at us for paying attention to numbers and 11/08 even though that's way more real than whatever tf this is. Like... aren't they embarrassed????

Anyway guys, I have an announcement to make.

Attention please!

Thank u ☺☺

Okay so I've been getting alot of frustrated asks mad at tkkrs and antis on twitter, right? Unfortunately I tend not to post them because I don't wanna bring too much negativity on this blog. Especially when some of those things are vile AF. Anyway, the point of this post is, My friends and I are in a Jikook discord and a few of us do this thing on twitter where we fight antis and shit especially when they come to Jikook spaces.

As we know recently a big Jikook account with 15k followers was attacked the other day for liking a post from an anti. But she had no idea that person was one. She just liked the post coz it was Jikook related. It's an easy mistake to make, really. She tried apologising and explaining she'd blocked the anti but these assholes didn't listen. They went though her profile and started commenting under all her regular, normal tweets that she was an anti and should be ashamed of herself or whatever. They were determined to give her no peace whatsoever.

When called out themselves, one account shamelessly said that they were antis and proud. That they didn't pretend that they don't hate Jimin. This really made me mad. It's not the first time they've been quite proud of the Jimin hate they partake in. Tkk accounts will gets thousand of likes on a post hating on Jimin and this ain't right. An anon sent in an ask venting about us being cowards and I agree. They attack Jikookers and these jkkrs end up deleting their Jikook posts. THIS SHIT AIN'T RIGHT!!! Its not.

They do this thing where they move in balk. My friends and I tried to back this account up. Encouraged her not to let them get to her. But it dont matter that 5 people are on your side if 30 people are telling you to kill yourself its just... /sigh/

This account is still running. But they had to unfollow everyone they follow and start from scratch. This ain't right guys. Its just not fair no matter how u look at it. I think we need to start giving tkkrs the same energy they give us.

Simply ignoring them is NOT working. We don't go to them, they come to us. I think its time Jikookers fought fire with fire. Which is why I'm making this post. A few of us had the idea to create a Jikook fighting discord.

If you are reading this and are tired of taking shit lying down. If you have wanted to fight these people but you were worried that you are just one person and won't make a difference. If you see the Jimin hate and wish there was something you could do about it, I come with an offer. Fuck tkkrs. Fuck antis. Fuck solos and fuck ot7 accounts that call out the vermin but then delete their tweets when they start to loose followers. Fuck all these people. Lets do something about this, ourselves.

Tkkrs are the ones causing chain reactions. If they didn't attack Jimin, Jimin solos wouldn't attack V and JK. (Yesterday I saw an art of JK with a dirty diaper and I just...🤮) If they shipped in peace and didn't attack Jimin literally all this shit wouldn't be happening.

I say we give them a taste of their own medicine. So if you see this post and you agree that enough is enough, then come join us here.

If you can't join then spread the word. Time to defend Kookmin and Koominers. Fuck this shit. The vermin have ran rampant for long enough. Photoshopping Jimin getting blown by band pd wasn't enough. Now they're editing him into porn. Guys, they've go10 too comfortable. Let's do something!

1) Create a separate twitter account before you join us. Safer not to use your main

2) ONLY Jikookers allowed in this discord. If you are not one of us we will know.

See you soon. I hope some of you consider. This shit has to stop. Kookminers assemble!!

Bless 💜

#ask shaz #bts ask #the fuckery #the vermin #i say we get them

[edenfenixblogs]

hey i saw the post about your cousin's bar mitzvah, and well first of all congrats to her. but also uh one thing you mentioned made me curious- what *am* i supposed to do should i find a dead body on the side of the road, if it's no problem for me to ask? not to worry you or anything like that but i guess it'd be useful to know if i pass a car crash on a road trip again.

Ah! What a good ask!!!! I see you committing to the act of learning more about Judaism as an act of allyship, and I appreciate you! Thanks so much for taking an interest.

Obligatory disclaimer: I’m not a biblical scholar or a Talmudic expert. I’m just a Jew who likes being a Jew.

So my Torah portion was in Leviticus. For those who don’t know, Leviticus and Numbers are often considered the doldrums of Torah books. It’s not where a lot of the well-known exciting parts happen. Those books generally contain a lot of lists of rules and mitzvot.

But this is actually why I like the way Judaism reads the whole Torah in order. It forces us to confront the “boring” stuff. And in so doing, we have to think harder about why that stuff is included in our books.

So that’s why my assigned portion was interesting to me.

The actual text basically says “don’t touch dead bodies.” But I remember reading the Talmudic scholarship which was especially interesting because its focus was to elaborate on all the exceptions and then talked about the importance of doing good deeds without a reward and not punishing those who need to do things like touch dead bodies.

The point of the text isn’t to condemn people who are doing the “forbidden” thing without any cause. The text outlines a lot of rules (many of which are not relevant anymore) and, frankly excessive punishments for breaking the rules.

But Judaism doesn’t end at the literal text. Talmud (rabbinical interpretation) is equally important.

My take on the material was this:

There are some things that, on the whole, we shouldn’t do. We shouldn’t touch dead bodies. We shouldn’t come to synagogue when we are sick. We shouldn’t cheat on our spouses. Etc.

But sometimes, you do need to break the rules. And for some things, someone must always break the rules. There must be someone in any community whose job it is to touch dead bodies. Someone must bury the dead. At the very least.

For people in that position, it is so vitally important that we do not throw the literal text in their face. It is important that we do not condemn them or shun them or otherwise exclude them from our community. Judaism is about community. And you cannot have a community that is based upon excluding people who do essential jobs. Rather, thank them. Because they are doing a good thing with no inherent reward. Quite the opposite. Those people should be celebrated. They take on the hard work knowing it carries risk of exclusion and judgment, but they do it anyway. Because it’s right.

Back in the day, if you saw a dead body on the side of the road and no one seemed available to bury it? Bury it. Give that fallen soul dignity. Then pray about it. Physically and emotionally wash the sin* away. (*sin in Judaism is not the same as the Christian idea of sin. Sin is more akin to an “oops” or “missing the mark.”) And take pleasure in doing something good for humanity and knowing that nobody else had to take on that sin for you.

So, nowadays, if you see a dead body on the side of the road? Call the person whose job it is to deal with that. And thank them for doing this very emotionally difficult work. Welcome that person into your community. Be kind to them. It matters. Because there is no community at all without them and people like them.

And in general? The more broad lesson to this is to of course be kind to people who do unglamorous but necessary work. And to take on that unglamorous work ourselves when necessary. That’s how we keep our community functional and healthy. Do good deeds without expecting a reward. Do what’s right even when you expect a bad outcome. Do good and right things for their own sake, because that’s what we exist to do. Create goodness in the world. The reward is the better world we create.

Thanks for asking @clawdia-houyhnhnm

#Judaism son #dirty jobs #parshat #Torah #Talmud

[sweeteaacakes]

I opened my phone and found a game I pre-registered months ago! It's called "Tokyo Debunker"!

Have you guys seen those creepy ads of a video game that looked like pkmn rip-offs called "Evertal*le"? This is one of their game and the ad caught me so I went for it. I was expecting a pixel-game but, uh, well, it's not TT-TT)... They tend to make misleading ads but this? I got caught by this...

It's more like a VN... BUUUUT it didn't disappointment me in and it served surprisingly well too!

THE PREMISE

Supernatural cases in Tokyo alongside devilish ghouls and quirky cats!

At the prestigious Darkwick Academy, your untily classmates have sold their souls to demons in exchange for a wish... and you'll have to find a way to make them work together to solve supernatural cases all over Tokyo. If you get stuck, you can always turn Darkwick's clever cat familiars for their supports!

It's comes with variety of gameplay modes!

Facilities building where your classmates can work and allows you to interact with them or read a conversation of your other classmates;

It have an "investigation" which is an... auto-turn-based battle mode. You just have to brainwork with their skills and equipments;

As bonus, it have a rhythm game! It's pretty easy since it's linear and you have to tap to allow the cat to turn around. You get 3 tries and is available for later!;

It also have co-op kode but I haven't tried yet!

Now let's start with opening!

As you can see on the imagine above, there are seven characters with each different uniform! Each of them are the leader of each "Houses".

Dark Blue: Frostheim || Yellow: Vagastrom

Orange: Jabberwock (and they have an axolotl in their emblem!!! ♡♡♡) || Dark red: Sinostra

Lilac: Hotarubi || Violet: Obscuary || Green: Mortkraken

The game will make you choose "who will you save"? It have a total of 7 houses with minimum 2 to 4 members. With Frostheim the with 4 members and Mortkraken with only 2! Obscuary is a particular one since it only shows one of its member! Once chosen a house, you will choose a character who will appear in the prolouge.

Aaaaand, yeah. The houses will be mentioned few chapters later :3

I won't spoil much but I can say that despite how lighthearted this this game is later... it knows how to jumpscare :)

And we go with Chapter 1

!!!UNDER THE CUT WILL BE A SLIGHT SPOILER TERRITORY!!!

!!!PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!

Aye! The MC here! They're female in illustration but I prefer calling them in GN! term and named them "Lucien"! We are in a train after a music concert. The chatroom with the people we went in left the chat and only us and another person, Mina, remain. Turns out we're both in the same train too so we decide to meet up!

A moment after the train arrived at the stop...but it's not ours...

Kisaragi Station? The creepypasta °0°)!?! (/j)

So, we're now in another stop... and found ourselves in an eerie place... And an unknown number calls us. Whether we pick it up or hang down, Mina will text us...

Mina makes her way in our car. We look at the number... 7... the door slides wide open but nothing's there other than darkness. Until someone whispers in our ears.

Gehehehe. I'm not gonna show you the whole thing in case you want to see it yourself!

I cut the spoiler of this chapter here but I'll give you preview of other shots because they are gorgeous!

Asgqhdhahs THE GALAXY ILLUSTRATION SOLD ME EVEN MORE WHAT FOLLOWED—

WE HAVE A CAT WITH A HAT FOR A CONDUCTOR 😭💕✨️

And this few panels! It's not much but I wanted to show how the writing and illustration doesn't shy away from showing blood and swearing! (Note: that guy used those mirror shards as the ammo for his gun btw... pretty rad.) So far, it's fully-voiced too!

Anyways, supernatural, eldritch beings, monsters? Check! They're very creative on it uwu). Good writing? Yaah! The art? Beautiful! Good humor? Nyah! (^=w=^)b

As said before, I'm not far in the story yet. I hope to see more creepy and cool stuffs but the daylight story isn't bad either! The characters have personality. Even MC had a good impression on me. They are down-to-earth and is quick at picking up to things happening around despite the sudden event in their life.

The only sad thing is... they all have body shapes... like... um... twink shaped in their 2-D.... and only one "dark-skinned" character 🥲... usgjqhsqj the Ad*nis Ot*gari of the game 🫠🫠🫠 I think he's cool and adorable tho! He went to the academy to search for his twin brother.

No romance, just classmates being sillies(/affectionate) going around to solve the supernatural in order to mantain the world's order.

The game is rated 16+ so I'm not sure if I'll post much about this here. I just wanted to show in case someone's interested!

The illustrations really do well at gorgeous scenes and at eerie scenes.

#tokyo debunker #other display 📚 #.sweeteaa writes

[phasmophobia-territory]

It depends on the text, but Nephilim were typically described as people of great being which some versions in Hebrew the words were translated literally, which is where the interpretation of them being giants comes from. But more universally became considered just known as just people with great abilities, which was rooted in angelic ancestry.

Theres little in detail, but they are most typically considered humans whom were rhe result of fallen angels having children with humans. Which in mc's case is being descendant of Lilith after she fell, and her lover.

Its likely only angels and demons have the ability to sense mc might have something else within them only now that their angelic abilities were awoken in season 1. Beacuse otherwise theres no indication anyone thinks they aren't human in any other way and still clearly have normal human weaknesses.

So technically they aren't fully human in the strictest of senses. But they are still human in all ways physical. Just a magic that exists within themm

Small tangent but I once had a pastor tell me that the lines "and we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers, and so we seemed to them" aren't speaking physically and is just describing the angelic abilities posessed by those born to fallen angels. That they probably weren't any different then us, they just had abilities which we perceived as so great they metaphorically seemed giant to us.

Anyways thats my ted talk on mc being a nephilim, but they just don't use that term amonst each other in obey me because you're still human and thats the biggest aspect of your being.

Did i mention its 2am and im writing out an ask philosophizing scripture for a demon dating sim mobile game instead of sleeping?

gonna call this post MC's Angelic Heritage

(UH SPOILERS FOR ANYONE ELSE READING. and this isn't edited or anything, i'm just regurgitating my thoughts- sorry in advance for the stupidly long essay, rise-my-angel)

Oooh, yes that makes sense. can't be too literal with that stuff yk. I thought they're were literal giants... whoops >_<

Yes! MC really does have some great abilities in the game! they aren't supposed to have anywhere near the power Solomon has, but they're getting so good that they're probably going to surpass him! the greatest sorcerer in all of history! (i remember Lucifer commenting that when MC gets stronger than Solomon, they have to beat Solomon up for him so that he can stop pestering him to make a pact lol)

They also have some multirealm-destroying capabilities if i remember, such as literally causing the devildom, human world and celestial realm to break apart simply because of the fact they're a human that has angelic ancestry and has formed pacts with 7 of the most powerful demons in the devildom. that's some crazy power.

True, because to other humans, solomon included, they're a normal human. tbh, they ARE a human. but there's something MORE to them that only the non-humans can sense because of the magic within them. they're 100% human otherwise, but there's just one part of their DNA that's giving them their great magic power. and that's probably the only tangible aspect of angelic traits that they inherit. also, when MC uses their magic, the screen goes all white. meanwhile, with the demons, it's either green (satan), blue (leviathan), teal (barabtos) and everything else. Sooo, MC's magic is angelic confirmed??

But that's really funny. because I remember Simeon approaching MC in season 2, basically saying that they'd "make a good angel". i never ever thought much of that other than it being an "oh my, MC here is such a morally upright person that a literal angel is telling them that they'd make a good angel." But now i'm wondering if human beings who have some angelic DNA are more likely to become angels lol. there's not any evidence in game that that's the case, but that's just a funny thought.

There's also Belphie's comment in season 1, chapter 17. If you choose the option to say that you forgive him for manipulating and attacking you he says something along the lines of "really...? wow, you really do have the blood of angels running through you." This isn't evidence, just wanted to point it out. However, if you choose the "my MC is 100% kind and forgiving" route in the game, it might suggest that your kindness is partly inherited from the angelic parts of you. (not to say that you're only kind because of your angelic heritage, because you have to nurture kindness too, it's not all an "i'm kind because it's my nature" issue. you can choose for your MC to be less kind and forgiving, after all. with me, I'm a mixed bag lol. i didn't choose the option to forgive Belphie immediately in chapter 17 on my initial playthrough)

That's true with human beings. someone can be just like us, but because they did something extraordinary, we think they're larger than life and even revere them sometimes (*cough* people with celebrities and influencers). so image someone has great angelic powers? back then and even now, you'd have people thinking that you're a demigod even though you're completely human!

true, MC is human, but an extraordinary human!

bruh, I'm here at 1pm and i haven't eaten yet theorizing about some fictional character's powers in a dating sim! obey me theorizing instead of sleeping/eating gang! i absolutely didn't need to write a monster essay in response but i let my intrusive thoughts win :')

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me belphegor

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

By Sharon Brous

Rabbi Brous is the founding and senior rabbi of Ikar, a Jewish community based in Los Angeles, and the author of “The Amen Effect.”

A somewhat obscure text, about 2,000 years old, has been my unlikely teacher and guide for the past many years, and my north star these last several months, as so many of us have felt as if we’ve been drowning in an ocean of sorrow and helplessness.

Buried deep within the Mishnah, a Jewish legal compendium from around the third century, is an ancient practice reflecting a deep understanding of the human psyche and spirit: When your heart is broken, when the specter of death visits your family, when you feel lost and alone and inclined to retreat, you show up. You entrust your pain to the community.

The text, Middot 2:2, describes a pilgrimage ritual from the time of the Second Temple. Several times each year, hundreds of thousands of Jews would ascend to Jerusalem, the center of Jewish religious and political life. They would climb the steps of the Temple Mount and enter its enormous plaza, turning to the right en masse, circling counterclockwise.

Meanwhile, the brokenhearted, the mourners (and here I would also include the lonely and the sick), would make this same ritual walk but they would turn to the left and circle in the opposite direction: every step against the current.

And each person who encountered someone in pain would look into that person’s eyes and inquire: “What happened to you? Why does your heart ache?”

“My father died,” a person might say. “There are so many things I never got to say to him.” Or perhaps: “My partner left. I was completely blindsided.” Or: “My child is sick. We’re awaiting the test results.”

Those who walked from the right would offer a blessing: “May the Holy One comfort you,” they would say. “You are not alone.” And then they would continue to walk until the next person approached.

This timeless wisdom speaks to what it means to be human in a world of pain. This year, you walk the path of the anguished. Perhaps next year, it will be me. I hold your broken heart knowing that one day you will hold mine.

I read in this text many profound lessons, two particularly pertinent in our time, when so many of us feel that we are breaking. First, do not take your broken heart and go home. Don’t isolate. Step toward those whom you know will hold you tenderly.

And on your good days — the days when you can breathe — show up then, too. Because the very fact of seeing those who are walking against the current, people who can barely hold on, and asking, with an open heart, “Tell me about your sorrow,” may be the deepest affirmation of our humanity, even in terribly inhumane times.

It is an expression of both love and sacred responsibility to turn to another person in her moment of deepest anguish and say: “Your sorrow may scare me, it may unsettle me. But I will not abandon you. I will meet your grief with relentless love.”

We cannot magically fix one another’s broken hearts. But we can find each other in our most vulnerable moments and wrap each other up in a circle of care. We can humbly promise each other, “I can’t take your pain away, but I can promise you won’t have to hold it alone.”

Showing up for one another doesn’t require heroic gestures. It means training ourselves to approach, even when our instinct tells us to withdraw. It means picking up the phone and calling our friend or colleague who is suffering. It means going to the funeral and to the house of mourning. It also means going to the wedding and to the birthday dinner. Reach out in your strength, step forward in your vulnerability. Err on the side of presence.

Small, tender gestures remind us that we are not helpless, even in the face of grave human suffering. We maintain the ability, even in the dark of night, to find our way to one another. We need this, especially now.

Here’s the second lesson from that ancient text. Humans naturally incline toward the known. Our tribes can uplift us, order our lives, give them meaning and purpose, direction and pride. But the tribal instinct can also be perilous. The more closely we identify with our tribe, the more likely we are to dismiss or even feel hostility toward those outside it.

One of the great casualties of tribalism is curiosity. And when we are no longer curious, when we don’t try to imagine or understand what another person is thinking or feeling or where her pain comes from, our hearts begin to narrow. We become less compassionate and more entrenched in our own worldviews.

Trauma exacerbates this trend. It reinforces an instinct to turn away from one another, rather than make ourselves even more vulnerable.

There is another important lesson from that ancient text. On pilgrimage, those who enter the sacred circle and turn left when nearly everyone else turns right are grieving or unwell. But the text offers that there is another who turns to the left: the person sentenced to ostracization — in Hebrew, the menudeh.

Ostracization was a punishment used sparingly in ancient times. It only applied to people who were believed to have brought serious harm to the social fabric of the community. The ostracized were essentially temporarily excommunicated. They had to distance themselves from their colleagues and loved ones, they were not counted in a prayer quorum, and they were prohibited from engaging in most social interactions. And incredibly, they, too, entered the sacred space, where they, too, were asked: “Tell me, what happened to you? What’s your story?” And they, too, were blessed.

This is breathtaking. The ancient rabbis ask us to imagine a society in which no person is disposable. Even those who have hurt us, even those with views antithetical to ours must be seen in their humanity and held with curiosity and care.

We desperately need a spiritual rewiring in our time. Imagine a society in which we learn to see one another in our pain, to ask one another, “What happened to you?” Imagine that we hear one another’s stories, say amen to one another’s pain, and even pray for one another’s healing. I call this the amen effect: sincere, tender encounters that help us forge new spiritual and neural pathways by reminding us that our lives and our destinies are entwined. Because, ultimately, it is only by finding our way to one another that we will begin to heal.

#NYTimes #Tribalism #spiritual direction #Sharon Brous #community #humanity #humanism

[elatedandexasperated]

So there's been some discussion on RWRB actually being a "gay movie"

Most posts I've seen have more or less summarized that the movie is effectively a "straight romance" featuring a mlm coupling, which annoys me a bit. I can't say that this take is entirely wrong per say - I mean, I've called it basically a Hallmark movie, which I still think is true - but it's not devoid of queer experience like a lot of people seem to think it is...

and that "Hallmark" comparison, which I still stand behind, I feel comes more from structure than content.

You can take the film at face value or read deeper into it and still find a case for this argument. Most of this pertains to the movie alone, I'm personally in the camp that if you're going to analyze a piece of media, it should stand on its own. So while the book may have different expressions and levels of inclusion, remember, it's a book, not a 2-hour time boxed movie

Production

Right off the bat we have the movie's production. I'm not going into speculation on TZP or NG's sexuality out of respect, neither have confirmed or denied being part of the community and that's frankly their business and privacy. In a bit I will go into the text of the film regarding the characters, but I don't want to drag the actors into this any further than saying they did an excellent job portraying the characters.

Lopez, though, who is publicly out as gay, as well as McQuistion who is NB, have both put their messaging and perspectives on queer experience into the book and by extension the film and that much is very clear through things like the inclusion of Intimacy Coordinator Robbie Taylor Hunt (another Gay man) as a way of trying to keep the intimate scenes grounded and realistic. So in the production alone there were clear attempts to visually represent authentic queer experiences. I think this is honestly the main reason why the main relationship is so compelling: the actors vibed well with each other (to the point that it was the initial feud that seemed contrived and unrealistic, which is just hilarious to me) and the coordinator worked with everyone collaboratively to keep things grounded, realistic, and to prevent it from going too far into the realm of fetishization from a visual standpoint.

As for the writing, we obviously are going to see most of the relatable queer experiences pop up in the lead roles:

Henry

Henry's character is arguably where the representation of queer experience is most explicit - at least from a level that regular (read straight) viewers would get without a lot of hand holding. At a surface level there's the classic "what will my family think?" questioning and general anxiety of being outed. Most of us in the community can relate to that, but in all honesty this is pretty standard fare and not the meat and potatoes of why I wanted to write this, what I am now realizing, unreasonably long rant breakdown *inhales*

ANYWAY.

At a deeper level though, Henry's struggle isn't so much internal as it is external. Yes there's internal angst still about being able to love openly, but in the film it's pretty clear that a good chunk of his family is aware of his sexuality (the statement that the king had a conversation with him when he was 18, him being open with Bea, etc.); He's also pretty confident in his sexuality already (he fairly easily explains his sexuality to Alex, and has confidence in his sexual experience). I'll go into this when we talk about Alex more, but I think this stems from the characters being aged up, but what this also does is shifts the narrative from simply "coming out" to dealing with abusive relatives and power systems after you've come to terms with who you are as a person, and then finding the strength to actually fight them once you've built up your support network.

And progress isn't linear for anyone on this - we relapse, mourn old relationships with people and family we thought would support us, and sometimes silence ourselves because "it's easier"; we see this happen with Henry pretty explicitly when he runs from the lake house. The reconciliation with Alex isn't flawless either: Henry requests time and patience with things so he can slowly begin his process of actually tackling the issue of how his sexuality and relationship with Alex relates to and impacts his professional duties. Alex, in true found-family style, gives him the support that he both wants and needs at that point in the story.

Alex

Alex's portrayal in the film I think has been the more controversial of the two (Not in terms of actor choice, TZP is a fantastic actor... Also fine as hell but that's beside the point). Most people who read the book criticize his relatively short "Bi-panic" period and how they felt it was more fleshed out in the book. Again, we're dealing with a time boxed movie here, so obviously the book will have more details. That being said, I don't think it was as unrealistic as people make it out to be if you dig a bit. This part gets a bit speculative, but stick with me here.

While I can't relate to a Bi coming out being a gay man and all, I think people should look at some context regarding the character's background: Alex is an incredibly flirtatious, personable, and media-savvy character who is also steeped in left-leaning politics. He knows what bisexuality is and given that he had a few same-sex experiences, has probably come to terms with that before his conversation with Nora in her office. In that scene he even stated that being into guys was something he understood for himself, his main source of "panic" was more the realization that he was specifically into Henry, someone he was actually angry and antagonistic with for several years.

As for why he seemed trepid first telling Henry he was Bi, and this is speaking from experience, there's a huge difference between coming to terms with who you're attracted to and putting a label on it for the first time, even to yourself. I think TZP acted that awkwardness well, especially in the Paris scene where, to shift gears a bit, the driving queer experience is Alex's inexperience with going that far with other guys, something most of us go through at some point. And again, in good, supportive fashion, Henry guides Alex through the process without judgement.

Alex and Henry

Both Alex and Henry are older in the movie than they are in the book, a fact that Lopez confirmed via interview. Even though it's only a few years, there's a huge difference in understanding your identity between your late-teens/early 20s and your mid 20s (generally speaking, people can come out at any age and that's completely fine. Everyone deserves to come out at their own pace and in their own way). With this, I think they did a good Job shifting the narrative from the more internal conflict of "who am I", which is very common in teen-centered dramas, to the more nuanced experience of figuring out how "Who I am" is going to impact your relationships and professional life, which I think is more befitting older characters. With Alex, it's how it will look to voters/impact on his mother's reelection AND how it impacts Henry's professional responsibilities; with Henry, it's his duties to the royal family and appearances.

*PHEW*

There's a lot more too when you dig. A personal... Um, well "favorite" isn't a great word, but you get my point - is how some members of the community will actively sabotage others for personal gain: Miguel outing them for the sake of professional ambitions (and maybe some light petty retribution for Alex dumping him, wherein Alex was justified) is unfortunately a pretty common experience.

I'm sure that there will be more to add for this if there's a sequel, which I hope there is and that they bring McQuiston in for (talk about marketing: she writes the outline based on the movie and the novel based on the first book which releases at the same time as the second movie. People would go nuts I'm sure).

Asides

We as a community spent years reading into media to find scraps of representation because that's all we could get, but I think we're not great at reading into it with more explicit movies that, while maybe building themselves off of "traditional" genre frameworks, still have those queer experiences. I think we set our standards too high sometimes because we are so starved for representation. What we got in this movie is, at least in my opinion, decent representation and authentic experiences for many people in our community, it's just subtle and maybe requires a deeper read of a character or scene. I picked up on some of these points and I hope other people can see some of the arguments I'm making here.

As a complete aside, I think we've been brainwashed a bit to think that "queer experiences = struggle" automatically and we're too quick to disregard queer media as "not gay enough" if there's not a suitable amount of angst or a particular identity isn't represented (This is NOT me minimizing the struggles of the LGBT+ community, just making a statement that maybe we shouldn't hinge our identities and portrayals in media on such negative experiences). Gay stories don't have to be tragic or full of existential crisis as it pertains to our identity. And while maybe unrealistic, some good fluff is healthy to see alongside the angst. As we progress as a culture and we become more accepted, struggle hopefully becomes less and less a unifying aspect of queer identity and we'll be able to see that reflected in our media.

tl;dr

I think the movie has more going for it in terms of queer experience than people give it credit for, it's just not what's typically seen in visual media and is buried in there a bit deeper. Just because it's a "Hallmark movie" structurally and plays into tropes doesn't mean it's not gay.

#rwrb #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #matthew lopez #robbie taylor hunt #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #long reads #ramblings

[rise-my-angel]

Sorry if I'm spouting stuff unwanted in your ask box. But I had a deep brain thinky moment and I thought "at least with reader inserts we admit we're inserting ourselves into the story". A lot of "shippers" seem to ship because they've projected onto a certain character, and they themselves want to be with another character (who often gets watered down to a very attractive slab of meat with little to no will and/or personality of their own). So of course, prime example is Jon with his choose your own poison girlboss, but I've seen it in some other areas. Of course there are some genuine attempts at investigating chemistry between characters out there, but it's often the most viciously toxic ships/shipping communities that I notice this sort of self insertion. Of course I could be assuming things and/or judgemental but it's just a theory I built up after years of observing.

No, you are right on the money. (Rest under a read more because gods be good have my opinions on shipping and shippers in fandom gotten me some anon hate before)

It's why certain shippers tend to be very aggressive in their defences, because they have seen so much of themselves in a character they feel like you are judging them for a real relationship they are in. Refusing to see character flaws as a fundemantal aspect of who that person is, beacuse they don't want to relate to someone like that, so they invent a vision of this person that they have to defend beacuse they won't admit they related to a bad person.

It's a slippery slope to project so heavily onto a character in a ship you like. Beacuse you end up refusing to see them as dynamic people who are more complicated then their relationship and that relationship ends updefining them as a character. Example, I ship Brienne and Jaime but I also don't look at either of them as someone I relate to on a personal level. I'm also fascinated with both of their separate stories and greatly and think those separate journeys are what makes their intertwining moments so intriguing. But if I were projecting myself onto Brienne, then I would end up acting as if she was always perfect and her entire story revolves around a starry eyed Jaime who only lives for that relationship now.

Jon has such a bad treatment by his shippers, beacuse so often he winds up being that slab of meat for the other party. I know some people have joked "well about time its a mans turn" but the point is no one should be given the arm candy treatment by fans. Man or woman. Jon is such a footnote in Jonerys dialouge beacuse ultimetly he serves her at her beck and call with little agency. Because Dany is the one they see themselves as and thus molding Jon into their perfect partner means serving the worst aspects of a girlboss character, meaning stripping the complex agency of their romantic male interests. Same with Ygritte, people see her aggresiveness and sass and think oh my god shes me, and totally ignore the actual text on the page/proof on screen that Jon's time with her isn't happy or romantic. But they want to see themeslves in Ygritte's spitfire personality so badly that they refuse to see Jon as anything but a willing puppet for her enjoyment, beacuse they want the advantage of being her and having him.

Honestly most Jon ships have this problem, and it's partially why I don't ship him with anyone, and i actually ship very few characters with anyone. My time in the Pedro fandom I was infamous for disliking popular ships and a lot of it then too was seeing people projecting onto the female to a point where their interpretation of the character was just not what was on screen.

Casually shipping is fine, again I love a good analysis post about Jaime and Brienne, but like you said. At least with reader inserts, I'm telling you it's you. I'm telling you it's me. You know the reader acts that way beacuse it's who they are and it's not forcing them to be something their not just to force that character to be relatable to you in particular.

Jonsa, Jonerys, Jonrya and Jongritte suffer from this problem greatly, and during my time in the pedro fandom Mando and Omera, and Joel and Tess also were major sufferers of this problem. The male becomes meat for the superior female character beacuse you want it to be you and it being you forces you to turn this person into someone they aren't and this it strips the other party of their agency.

The males now only exist to be relatable arm candy, as opposed to reader inserts which do the work to find a way to make the reader fit into the existing world around them organically.

At least I'm being honest. I write Jon Snow x Reader fics cus I want to fuck Jon Snow, I'm not pretending like I just really like Dany and thats why I ship it. No, they're a terrible couple, but at least I'm honest about my self shipping. I don't have to lie about my intentions.

#shipping is fine #but blind defensive shipping for certain characters turns very toxic #i got a lot of hate during tlou airing for critizing tess as a love interest for joel and its was always people who wanted to relate to her #so they got mad at me for critizing the on screen dynamic beacuse it felt now like i was attacking you as a person #your not tess im not critizing you so shut the hell up and let me speak my opinion #jon is just such a slab of meat in every ship of his #i literally think tormund is the only character hes shipped with where he still gets to remain as a unqiue individual #cus no one who wishes they were a bad ass bitch girlboss relates to the wild drunk lumberjack vibes of tormund #game of thrones #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #jon snow #anti daenerys targaryen #anti ygritte #anti jonerys #anti jonsa #anti jonrya #anti jongritte #anti sansa stark #anti targ stans #i love when i have to do 800 anti tags otherwise every jon shippers gonna send me to the gallows

[power-chords]

It just fucking hit me that Shklovsky is also at the very root of William Gibson's Pattern Recognition. The excerpted text below from Literature and Cinematography, which HE WROTE IN 1923, reads like getting a bucket of water dumped over your head right now, at this very moment, 100 years later:

To do a proper study on the theory of cinematography, you would have to collect all films, or at least several thousand of them. When classified, these films might yield the mass of material from which you could formulate several absolutely precise laws. We witnessed the arrival of cinematography; its life is the life of our generation; we can trace it step by step. Soon the material will become boundless. It is depressing to think that we already know everything about the need to study contemporary phenomena in the history of art but never do anything about it.

This is not something I can do by myself. This matter is beyond the capabilities of one individual; it requires trained assistants, means and, possibly, experiments.

What makes people cry? What is comical? Under what conditions does the comic become tragic?

It’s hard to understand literature fully; it’s impossible, or nearly impossible, to give it direction. The cinema is still visible; we could create a film science, which could be completely mechanised. In 1917 someone published a carefully researched article which reported that screenwriters, exhausted by work, had concocted a machine that produced plots. Imagine a row of films wound on special spools. One of the reels contains people’s professions, the second one – countries of the world, the third one – various ages, the fourth one – human acts (for example, kissing, climbing a pipe, knocking someone down, jumping into the water, shooting). A person takes hold of the cranks leading to these reels and spins them. Then he peers through a special slot and reads the resulting gibberish.

The machine is rather strange, but apparently it gives American brains the jolt they require. I’m going to write more about this amazing aspect of cinematography: about the tendency not to motivate the connection between the component parts, its scenes.

But in order to do this, we have to go back to the subject of plot in literature. There are several types of literary plot. Almost always, as it seems to me, these types of structure are based on an underlying sensation of disparity, an irony of sorts that is resolved at the end. In its simplest cases, a plot may be defined as an elaborated parallel. And there is an affinity that exists between parallelism in itself and the so-called obraznost [note: the Russian is not quite equivalent to the English ‘imagery’].

For example, if we say of a great man that he is a ‘tower’, that is an image. As a parallelism, the construct would be as follows: just as a tower rises amidst the city, so rises this man amongst the people. That is, an image is like a parallelism with its first part suppressed. This may be elaborated into a plot.

Thus, in the simple types of plot, we encounter a phenomenon similar in its structure to the ‘image’ and the ‘pun.’ There is such a moment in the plot of Macbeth. The witches have predicted that “none of woman born” will kill him. But Macbeth’s adversary was not born, he was “from his mother’s womb / Untimely ripp’d.” Thus the fact of unnatural childbirth – by means of Caesarian section – had so astonished the anonymous creator that he appropriated it and elaborated it into a plot. The word “born” lies at the base of the plot construct. For Macbeth, it means “of woman born”; for the witch, it means “born naturally,” with the emphasis on the very process of childbirth. Thus we find ourselves in a sphere where disparities are created on linguistic grounds.

Parallel intrigues in a film are possible only on one condition: that they be connected by common characters. Actually, film uses both “mystery” and “parallel” extensively, but it uses them in its own way. Mystery is used in the cinema mainly for plot transpositions, the phenomenon whereby a work’s events are rendered not in sequence, but in some other order. Usually what motivates the transposition is a story. In film, plot displacement triumphs. First, we usually get several somewhat incomprehensible scenes, which are explained only later in the form of a story narrated by one of the characters. Note, however, that in the case of motivation by a story, it is not the story of an event, as in a novel, but a plot transposition in its purest form (i.e., it’s as if you snipped a piece of film off the beginning and put it at the end).

In that regard film is undoubtedly much stronger. It is much weaker, however, in the area of allusion, which in literature sustains one’s interest in the resolution of mystery. Film does not allow ambivalence.

…One curious trait of cinematography is its complete disregard of motivations. By ‘motivations’ I mean the common, ‘quotidian’ explanation of a plot structure. Film has almost no use for motivations. Maybe this is simplistic, but it seems to me that in film nothing is told; everything is shown. We don’t require detailed explanations of the exceptionally fortuitous turn of events that made possible someone’s rescue. The facts speak for themselves. We see a film and hardly ever ask ourselves, “how, in what way?" An ordinary contemporary stunt film consists of a number of engaging scenes which are connected with each other solely by the unity of the characters.

Nor is any psychological motivation supplied. One part of a film is indispensable, because in it the cameraman shows a view of a city from above; in the next part, a trained monkey performs; the third part of the same film contains a ballet performance, and so on. And we watch all of it with interest.

What is a film plot? An artful selection of scenes, a successful chronological transposition and good juxtapositions. The film script has turned both toward popular comedy, with its stock characters, and toward the adventure novel, with its highly developed use of ‘delaying elements’, with its wide range of casualties, drownings, desert islands and other tricks… Since ‘delaying elements’, with slight variations, can go on forever, the only way to end the screenplay is to have a wedding.

#viktor shklovsky

[lefluoritesys]

Hi! Random question but what's the funniest/most awkward situation you have ever been in with a headmate/headmates? Also, I love your Tumblr. It helps us through a lot of system denial :)

Thank you so much!! We're glad to hear that, we try our best to make it a safe and positive space!!

I don't think we have stories that people would count as incredibly funny, however, we have a few that stand out to us as at least amusing, lmao. And awkward... don't even get me started.

I (co-host) keep texting people trying to make friends, and don't ask nor tell anybody. And then I just dip. I think it's a pretty effective strategy. :D

The amount of times somebody told us something that we know we would have memorized by hard. Like when we're supposed to have our lessons. And then we'd switch, be asked about it, and don't know the answer as to what that thing was. It puts us in such awkward situations IRL cause of our parents.-

Today, remember the couple that went on a date? One of them had to front to take our sibling to their classes, and they were sulking, so our co-host & persecutor-caretaker had to keep their composure when their partner, from the inner world, said our sibling looks like an offended ostrich.

We got berated for eating the host's chips. We now have a policy about eating chips. Because people ate their bag of chips...

One of the funniest stories were probably with one of our alters who went mostly inner now, though. They once purchased a premium on an app we use a lot without telling anybody, and at the time, we could buy a whole McDonald's meal for that amount of money. Then, we put them in charge of English classes, and they were definitely working, but their way of working was roasting everything and cracking some of the most hilarious jokes we've ever heard. That same alter then offered our mother cyanide.

Some of the things we say are so fucking funny that we made a quote book. For ourselves. And our partner systems. There, we not only have hilarious quotes, but some of the funniest roasts we've ever seen, one of our favorites being:

Host: It's kinda funny how I can do everything alone at front, and y'all have to do it collectively when I'm not around.

Co-host: Nah, we're just healthy.

Our co-host sprained our foot. And called the bandage on it "foot prison." I am not elaborating on their behalf. /laughing

In the inner world, we have this thing where we can track people and where they are at that point in time (especially our robots can do that), and sometimes people decide to play tag. And since our inner world is our inner world, what we basically see is a dot (that represents a person you're watching) telelporting from point A to point B to point E in a matter of seconds. Which doesn't sound funny, but picture it, lmao.

The number of posts we made that were purely targeting each other is insane. And you will never know that they are targeted unless we say something, we are sneaky like that.

At some point some people in the inner world discussed fucking Jesus?? And I mean doing the deed, not the "fucking Jesus." We still have no idea who or why.

And then another two people, whose names we know, discussed our partner system's semi-sentient hotel and what its type would be. In detail. And who they could pair it up with.

Our host is still salty at one of our prosecutors because they bought them cocoa instead of coffee, didn't tell them, and our host couldn't figure our why the coffee was sweet but tasted well, considering we hate coffee with sugar. And then they realized.

Our host address purple so much that now all of us gotta keep up with the idea what "we, a singlet, definitely a singlet (/s), love purple so much" because explaining to our bio family that we don't like it anymore but we also do but also don't would be too difficult for a number of reasons.

One of us can just decide that it's chicken nuggets day, and we will have chicken nuggets for lunch. Not because we don't want to upset this somebody by refusing but because we'd literally switch on the streets halfway to chicken nuggets, stare at the distance for a couple of seconds, and accept our fate.

We generally talk to ourselves in public constantly, we have no shame about that, especially since it's mostly in English, which is not our first language. That got us a lot of looks. We also do that in VCs with our partner system, and we openly switch in front of them and talk about inner world shit.

Hope that gave you a few laughs. /g /pos

-host, co-host & persecutor-caretaker, sexual persecutor

#did system #did #osdd #osdd system #dissociative identity disorder #system #other specified dissociative disorder #did osdd #system stuff #system things #osdd 1a #osdd 1b #complex dissociative identity disorder #cdid system #cdid #did stories #did positivity #osdd positivity #system positivity #plural positivity