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sharkboywrites · 11 months

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"You're Just a Boy, You Are No Man, And Nobody You Know Will Understand"

TWST dorm leaders finding out stealth ftm reader is trans

Reader is a trans man and implied to pass, misgendering, mentions of dysphoria, reader is on their period in Leona and Malleus's parts, mentions of reader's chest (non sexual), can be read as platonic or romantic

A/N: The idea for the title is a lyric from "things to do" by Alex G. When I played twst I kinda just always saw myself, being yuu in game, as a stealth trans man, because why would they need to know I'm trans?

Riddle Rosehearts

It really hadn't been intentional when he found you changing, he was just suspicious as to why you didn't change in the boys locker room with every other student after gym. Of course this hot head doesn't tolerate any rule breaking and you weren't changing where you were supposed to! If you didn't feel comfortable then you could use a stall like everyone else!

After changing himself, quickly in order to catch you, he stormed off to find you and managed to catch a glimpse of you at the end of the hallway, entering a bathroom. Now he could have waited until you left the bathroom to confront you, but he decided that catching you in the act would be better and he could give punishment accordingly. (Yeah, to say he doesn't exactly think when he's mad is a fair assumption.)

What he hadn't expected was to walk in on you with no shirt, and you struggling with some type of bra-looking thing (man does not know what a binder is I'm sorry), and being the dignified man he is, let out a loud yelp, and walked back out of the bathroom as quickly as possible.

Standing outside of the bathroom waiting for you to finish, his mind raced. What did you have on? Why were you wearing that? Did he really just walk in on you changing? What was he thinking?

He felt himself tense up as he heard the door next to him squeak open. You walked out in your regular uniform and quite honestly looking more nervous and upset than he did. When making eye contact with you, he straightened his posture and gave you a genuine apology. "I'm truly sorry for walking in on you during an inappropriate moment! That was irresponsible of me."

You quickly and nervously accepted his apology as students started to crowd the hallways, walking to their next classes, and ran off. He really hated how upset you looked in that moment, and mentally beat himself up for the rest of the day for his stupid decision. Crewel even had to get his attention during alchemy. Embarrassing.

Later that day, around 7 pm, he got a text from you. You two never really texted, only had each other's numbers in case of emergency (aka Ace and Deuce getting themselves in trouble). You had asked him to come over to ramshackle to talk. He felt anxiety rising in his chest, but knew he needed to talk to you, so he promptly sent a quick text back and made his way over to your dorm.

That night the two of you had a very deep talk. you explained everything to him, from being trans, to the binder, and why you changed in the bathroom. While Riddle wasn't 100% educated on things like these, he understood and made sure to let you know he supported you and could always to come to him, even if he's bad at comfort, when he saw you tearing up.

After that you two defiantly grew closer. In any situation he saw that could out you, he made sure to cover for you, even if it was against the rules. If you wanted to come out, he'd be there to help you, maybe talking to people like Trey and Cater first, and would collar anyone who dares disrespect you.

Leona Kingscholar

Shark week has to be the worst part of the month. Varying on how bad your period gets from small cramps to doubling over in the hallway and almost passing out me, it still brings a wave of discomfort with your body and some heavy feelings, and you doubt in your current situation birth control would be easily available.

You aren't dumb. You know the second you got close to Leona, or any other beastman for that matter, he'd immediately be able to smell the blood on you. Animal traits or whatever. So the most logical thing to do was avoid Leona at all costs.

Or not. Leona was not happy that you were avoiding him. Just like how you aren't dumb, he isn't either. He knows somethings up, and he won't let it slide. As much as he likes to pretend, he really does care about the people close to him, and he enjoyed your (less annoying than everyone else's) visits.

He managed to corner you on one of your worst days. You were bleeding so much you were honestly concerned for your health and worried if this was normal. There was absolutely no way Leona wouldn't notice with his sense of smell. And he did notice.

You could see a slight shift in his expression from anger to concern the second he smelt blood on you. And cornered in that empty hallway, you gave in and told him everything about being trans.

Honestly Leona couldn't care less about it, he was more concerned about your physical state. Please don't throw up in the school hallway. "So what, I don't care how you were born. You look like shit and that's what's concerning ."

He dragged you down to the garden to nap with him, because when you're on your period, napping is all you can do to make yourself feel better, and even made Ruggie run and get you some chocolate and ibuprofen from the nurse. He could tell from Leona's stare that he shouldn't ask.

After that Leona became more protective of you, not because he sees you as weak or sees you as a woman, but because he's genuinely concerned for you and how you're feeling after how miserable you looked when he found out (although he doesn't show it). If anyone tried to make you upset, he'd be right there by your side (no one in their right mind would fight with Leona) and whether you decide to come out in school or not, Leona has your back.

Azul Ashengrotto

Listen, Azul gets it. he's insecure, he doesn't like his body and got bullied for it for most of his life. He can level with you about how your feeling and will always awkwardly be there if you need him. All it really took for the two of you to get closer was to see each other on a similar level.

Honestly, you knew something had been up when the Leech twins invited you to go swimming with them. I mean who would agree to that? It was you, you agreed because you decided it was finally time you got closer to the octo trio. There was one problem though.

You only had swim trunks and a shirt, which knowing how water works, would only stick to your chest the second you got wet. Why did you agree to this again? So while the two eels swam off into the water with you giving a promise to "join them later" you sat on the beach trying to figure out exactly what you were going to do.

You couldn't see him, but you heard Azul approach you from behind and sit down next to you. His face saddened when you opened up to him about being afraid to go into the water because you "didn't like your body". At that moment he knew exactly how you felt, but his attempts at comforting made it clear that he didn't exactly know your situation.

After you explained yo could see his face flush red, but he made an attempt at comforting you. He stood up and took your hand, pulling you up with him. He slowly walked the two of you into the water, only up to your ankles though. "Don't worry, no one here is going to judge you. I know it's hard but you can do it."

Neither the tweels or Azul made any comments about you or your body. After you saw Azul whispering to them, Floyd even made some comments about how it was "just us guys" and Jade referred to your day as a "boy's day out".

After this, not only did you have Azul behind you, you also had some very intimidating eels to support you. Azul would make sure no one would talk bad about you. Anyone that did ended up getting roped into a contract with him. While life may be hard this way, you'd always have the octo trio there for you.

Kalim Al-Asim

As usual, Kalim was throwing a massive party at the dorm, and although you're not very fond of parties, you went for Kalim. He was honestly so happy you came, he loves seeing you honestly, and you stuck to his side for most of it.

Walking around with him had unfortunately made things slightly worse for you, Kalim was extroverted after all and everyone wanted to talk to the host of the party. You had received many, not ill intended, comments from people ranging from "I didn't know they let girls into NRC" and "is this your new girlfriend Kalim?". While these people didn't mean any harm, only asking innocent questions, they cut deep. Near the end of the part you ended up walking off and into Kalim's dorm room.

A little while later, Kalim came in, he knew you would be in there after all. He sat down next you on the bed with a concerned look and asked if you were okay. Obviously you weren't and right there, in Kalim's arms, you broke down and told him everything, how you were trans and how that comments were so hard for you. he didn't say anything, only held onto you until you were done.

Once you finished crying, he hugged you tightly and ran off. He came back a few minutes later with some water and snacks. After you gulped down a bottle of water, he held you close again. He gave small assuring rubs to your shoulder and watched some youtube videos with you to try and make you feel better. For once, kalim wasn't so talkative, and you appreciated that.

After that incident you had never once been misgendered at scarabia again. Kalim had made it clear to everyone in the dorm that you were a man and nothing else, after all Kalim is one of the best friends a person could ask for. "I want you to know that to me and everyone at scarabia that you are the bravest man, and we all appreciate having you here. you deserve to be here."

Vil Schoenheit

He wanted you to be in a photoshoot. That was it, that was what made everything around you crumble. He wanted to measure you, put on makeup, take photos and it was all to much.

Apparently he wanted you in the photoshoot because of your "naturally pretty face" and it was just too much to deal with. you stood in the dressing room looking at yourself in the mirror, your mind pointing out every little detail that was "too feminine" and tears filled your eyes.

And that's when he walked in. THE Vil Schoenheit had just walked in on you crying before a photoshoot. He didn't look angry at you however, more concerned. He walked over to you and took your face in his hands. While he did fuss over your ruined makeup a bit, he was more pressing you into telling him what was wrong. were you overstimulated? Were the clothes uncomfortable? Were the lights too bright?

You broke down in the man's arms and while he was hesitant about smearing your makeup on his clothes, he relented and held you. You were able to tell him what was wrong through al of your cries and you could hear him call out something to one of the workers. Eventually you were given a water bottle and calmed down.

Vil sat there assuring you that these "feminine things" didn't make you any less of a man and that if anything needed to be changed to let him know. I mean did you really think Vil "fuck gender roles" Sheonheit would really judge you for this?

After this he found some more fitting clothes for you and made sure you were on comfortable whether on set or with him casually. He was honestly the best person to go to when struggling. He always helps you based on what would look more masculine on you and he wouldn't ever let anyone make fun of you. "How you look or what you wear does not affect you or your gender. To me and to everyone here, you are a man."

Idia Shroud

Now how in the word did this happen? how could Idia Shroud, the boy who stays in his room all the time, figure out you were trans? Well it's a bit of an awkward situation. Ortho had invited you over to their dorm for a sleepover because he wanted his big brother to get out there and start talking to people , other than the ones on his computer (much to Idia's disagreement). Honestly the three of you had an awesome time playing video games and hanging out, even if it took time for Idia to warm up to having you there.

That was until it came time for bed. Knowing Idia he probably would have preferred to stay up until the sun came up, but you and Ortho definitely weren't doing that. When you changed you had put on pajama pants, a tank top, and a hoodie. You had to take off your binder because obviously you can't sleep with it on (or at least you shouldn't be).

You honestly thought you would have been fine, but through the night it had ended up getting hotter, most likely due to the two boys beside you with literal fire hair. You guessed it would have been fine taking off your hoodie as long as you woke up before the two of them to put it back on. But you didn't, in fact you woke up to Idia staring at you. When you woke up you couldn't tell what was wrong until you remembered you weren't wearing your hoodie or a binder. You quickly sat up and threw your hoodie back on, muttering a small apology. you could hear him give one too, but it was quiet,

After you had left you ended up messaging Idia about the situation, and he actually ended up being surprisingly cool about the whole "being trans thing". I mean he's on the internet 24/7 so it isn't surprising that he would know about it. He even apologized about the staring and said that he didn't "mean to be a pervert" and was just caught of guard which made you laugh a bit.

While Idia isn't the most confrontational person (Ortho however is(some people found out the hard way)) he's always there to give you support and as he said "Honestly how you were born doesn't matter. You're a chill person now and that's all I care about."

Malleus Draconia

Just like Leona and other beastmen, fae like Malleus have a heightened sense of smell, but unlike Leona, you didn't know that.

When you had woken up that morning to the usual monthly discomfort, you knew you'd be having the worst time of your life. You somehow managed to drag yourself out of bed and put on your regular clothes along with a pad (for some reason Sam has them in stock in the shop, you have no idea why) and made your way to class.

Classes that day were miserable, but you pushed your way through it despite everything. Once you had finished your classes for the day, Malleus had approached you to ask if you wanted to spend time together. He stopped himself and looked down at you with his usual "disappointed but also concerned" face and asked if you were alright, being very vague about it.

You did the usual lie of saying you were fine, but as if whatever gods there are in this universe hat you with a burning passion, you were hit with the worst set of cramps imaginable. Holding your waist you tried to assure Malleus wasn't having it.

He picked you up like you weighed basically nothing and with one flash of light you found yourself back in your dorm room, which was a bit of an embarrassing mess due to both grim being grim and you panicking with your sudden "situation". Malleus didn't seem to mind as he set you down on your bed and sat next to you, that same look of concern still on his face.

There in your room you told Malleus about what was going on and why you were bleeding so much. You could see him relax knowing you weren't in danger and that this was just a natural thing. You may or may not have had to explain the concept of a period to Malleus because let's be honest he's clueless.

After that he brought you some food and medicine to try and help, but once again he's clueless. You appreciated the effort though. He stayed there for the entire night making sure you were okay and according to him "To me it does not matter how you were born and how you are physically. To me, you are a man, and a gentle, kind, brave, and helpful one at that."

While life may throw many obstacels your way, Malleus assures you that you are perfect the way you are and that he is always there for you.

I'm not sure if I like Idia and Malleus's parts because I need go to bed lol, ty for reading and have a nice day.

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caffstrink · 1 year

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do you have any tips on how to live off as artist professionally?

First of all art isn't always a viable option depending where you live. The only reason ive been able to live off art is because the american dollar is worth 5x more than the brazilian real so even if i didn't get many comms i could still get by with the few i had. and if that wasn't the case I'd pretty much be eating breadcrumbs off the floor like a pigeon.

1. Whore yourself out and draw fanart of every popular or trending thing to gather attention to youe art

2. Learn your platforms: learn how each websites algorithm works, learn what are the best hours to post, etc

3. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find your niche

4. Everyone is fake no one wants to be your friend, other popular artists will start following you the moment your following becomes good enough. They'll start to interact with you too and want to become mutuals in order to share followings/traction. If you can play into that you can get them to share your stuff as well, but honestly don't fall for it bc most of them shittalk other artists on their privs or personal servers and the stress isnt worth it

5. Draw nsfw if possible/if you're comfortable with. People who commission porn pay well and they often have very few options when commissioning stuff bc most artists don't accept porn commissions.

6. Accept being an artist is a hard job that doesn't pay really well. If you're freelancing on comms life's always going to be a tightrope, so i suggest trying to do professional work once in a while so you can at least have the security of a salary. Draw backgrounds, gestures, scenes, studies, and the likes, bc those are what companies will want in your portfolio

7. Depending where you live it's extremely hard to live off as an artist, and being an artist is often means a very difficult struggle with finances. It's a job that requires passion, and more often than not turning art in a job causes creative burnout and complete loss of spark for it. Ask yourself: why do you want to be a professional artist? Isn't it better to keep it as a hobby? Maybe a side gig if you need money? You can still pursue art even if you don't do it to earn money, and it doesn't make you any less of an artist. It's a difficult job, and you need to understand its not going to be viable at all times and sometimes you'll have to throw in the towel and do something else to survive and there's 0 shame in that.

8. Be professional and courteous with your clients. Don't be a doormat, but don't go around ghosting people or being passive aggressive or taking them for granted and never deliver any product. Doing art for money is a JOB. Treat it like such. Inform your clients about delays, or any issues that may come up.

9. Take care of yourself and by that i mean eat decent food, exercise your arms, get 8 hours of sleep and get some sun (or take vitamin D periodically if youre a basement dweller). This isn't some self care uwu shit, it's actual science that your body is a machine and not providing what it needs to function leads to issues, and some of those issues include affecting your mental health, and mental health issues include and are not limited to: anxiety, depression, burnout, loneliness, feeling like your art sucks, feeling unmotivated, feeling like you're a failure, etc. Same with physical: for the love of GOD you DON'T want wrist issues. You dont want carpal or ulnar nerve entrapment. Don't draw 24/7. Don't push yourself either. If youre feeling shitty its time to STOP. Just picture a shitty graphics card trying to run minecraft with 5 shaders and 10 mods at once on fullscreen with 60 fps. Thats you. Youre the graphics card

10. Don't be a bitch, don't get involved with drama. Can't be an internet artist if you get cancelled so don't try to start shit at any point in time. Don't be a shit person.

And from the top of my head thats it, hope you like eating plain bread 🍞

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v3nusxsky · 1 year

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Hey love, I hope your well. Can I maybe ask for a hurt/ comfort larissa × reader fic? I was thinking maybe reader could have BPD/bipolar disorder and when, Larissa is in her office for extended periods of time she sometimes gets insecure and thinks Larissa is purposefully ignoring her and feels on the verge of splitting and pushing Larissa away, but she's been working on it and so one afternoon when she feels like sending a maybe not-so-nice message to larissa because she's a little hurt, instead she goes to Larissa and breaks down in tears and asks for a hug? And maybe larissa sort of knows what's going on and just embraces R tightly and reassures her it's simply work, and she'd much rather be spending time with her girlfriend than on a laptop all day, and maybe is just very mommy and calls R a good bunny for coming to her???

Split incoming| h&c

*Authors note~ as someone who has bpd and splits I feel these are important to write for and I hope some one out there finds this comforting or informative. This is largely based on myself and quite indulgent, wrote in a split so I can't say it's my best*

Trigger warnings~ mommy Ris bunny r (non sexual dom/sub dynamic (24/7 kink?) bpd r splitting

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

You love your girlfriend, truly you do more than anything else in the world, so why would you feel this way? Your own brain confused you most days so how could you expect someone else to understand. Your borderline personality disorder has been something you've struggled with for years, people had came and gone in your life because of it. Because you become too much, a problem. You gotten use to that same pattern and routines, convinced yourself that you were simply unworthy of love. It's the only thing that made sense, how could all those people be wrong?

Until you met Larissa. You'd split on her many times yet she still stayed. You couldn't do anything or say anything that would make her leave you. But that didn't mean it was okay. You hated who you became in those moments, you never really remember them clearly but you knew you had said and done some terrible things. Living with the regret of hurting your favourite person because they don't seem to match the pedestal you put them on. It wasn't on them. You knew you needed to work on responding better. It was hard but you needed it.

Larissa is safe, you knew that. So after a few splits, you both sat down and made lists of triggers and things you could do or she could do to help you in these moments. She knew splits were an inevitable part of your relationship together. However, Larissa wanted to be there to support, love and help you anyway she possibly could. No matter what you need, Larissa will always do her best to provide it.

A big trigger for you is when Larissa ends up in her office for hours on end. It made your irrational brain convince you she was ignoring you, cheating, or worse, leaving you completely. You could feel a split coming on, the rational sides of your brain leaving as you felt clouded with all these confusing thoughts and conflicting emotions. You typed up a message, the rage overwhelming you as you informed her if she was going to leave then hurry up because you I'm fact did not need her. She was just like everyone else who came and left.

Before hitting send you remembered your promise to the blonde, so you threw your phone else where as if it burned you and hurried to her office. You didn't bother with knocking but as soon as you laid eyes on her you couldn't help but burst into tears which caught her attention. "Mommy, hug" you'd sobbed. Without questioning it Larissa came to gather you in her arms, putting her laptop away, you had her soul attention. She knew what this was, you'd came to her and used your signal, she couldn't be more proud of you. "It's okay bunny. You're so good darling. Thank you for coming here love. I'd much rather be all snuggled up with my cuddly bunny than doing boring work" she murmured to you showering your wet cheeks with sweet kisses. "I'm so proud of you bunny for finding mommy. You split didn't you?" Causing you to nod in response. "Okay bunny good job shall we go lay down? Cuddle and maybe nap love does that sound good?" Truly there was no one as perfect as Larissa Weems, she seemed to always know what to do even if she felt like a failure she'd always help bc she was her.

Word count~ 807

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #anon requested #larissa weems #principal larissa weems #principal larissa weems x reader #larissa x you #larissa x reader #larissa weems x reader #weems #principal weems #weems x reader

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streamsofstardust · 2 years

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flashbacks | j.m.k

josh kiszka x reader

word count: 1,927 (wow, tal wrote something short for once)

content warnings: joshy has dirty thoughts, sexy memories, references to bondage, slight soft dom!josh, something you could potentially consider orgasm denial, lots of teasing, not direct smut but allusions to it

summary: josh can't seem to focus during an interview, thoughts of you occupying his mind.

a/n: my first josh fic has arrived my friends. finally got joshua michael on the masterlist and it only took... way too long. i know it's short but i kinda like how it's not total in your face smut. look at me trying something new. happy joshua michael monday to u all🖤 and as always, the link to join my taglist is in my bio!

taglist: @allieboop @obetrolncocktails @greta-flanveet @kdarling1 @doodle417 @mollie-gvf @hoeforstevienicks @joshkiszkas @gardenofgreta @gretasmokerising @lunaindigoraven @jakekiszkasleftnutsack

it was one interview. just a matter of two to three hours with the guys and then he was back to the hotel where he knew you'd be waiting for him. you were all he could think about and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a massive struggle to focus on the interviewer’s questions. he figured it would be best to let the others answer most of them this time, already knowing everyone would be confused by his lack of speaking but taking the risk nonetheless.

in all honesty, he was barely able to concentrate. the questions were fairly similar for most interviews, especially at the start, so after brief introductions, josh sat back and let his brothers take the reins.

yes, we’re very excited to be back on tour.

yes, we have been working extensively on new music.

no, we can't say much about it at this time. but it's gonna be big.

yes, jake really does mimic playing guitar in his sleep.

in the midst of zoning out, josh’s mind had taken him back to the previous night. he thought back to how you were spread out for him on the hotel bed, fully naked with your hands tied to the bed frame. it wasn't often that josh got particularly rough with you, but something about seeing you dripping for him, causing a complete mess on the sheets below, set him off. he recalled how you tasted on his tongue, subconsciously licking his lips as if he could still taste you on them and swiping over them with his fingers.

he felt jake nudge his arm from where he sat beside him, pulling him out of his fantasy. “i swear sometimes josh is in his own little universe.” he joked to the interviewer.

josh chuckled in response. “sorry about that. long nights and tons of traveling really drain a guy.” the interviewer nodded and smiled at him, repeating her question. “do you find it hard to maintain a relationship while on tour?”

it was a valid question, one the group had gotten before, and their response wasn't usually what the interviewer expected. sure, they were rockstars, but they never let that get in the way of their relationships.

josh responded without hesitation, “not really. jake and his girlfriend are strong as all hell, danny’s girlfriend tends to come to as many shows as possible, and our little sammy is enjoying being a bachelor.” he reached behind himself to pat sam’s knee, the younger kiszka brother shrugged and smiled in response as if to say can you really blame me?

in the brief period of laughter, josh allowed himself to drift back into his daydream. he couldn't get those beautiful sounds you made out of his head. the way you whimpered and moaned for him as he dragged his tongue through your heat. he’d love to record those sounds. to incorporate them into one of the band’s songs. it would be a true homage to the divine feminine and josh would have the pleasure of knowing he's the reason those sounds exist at all. he smirked at the thought.

sammy not so subtly flicked josh’s head to bring his focus back. “i know that face joshua,” he spoke before turning his attention back to the interviewer. “looks like this discussion is bringing back a few special memories for josh.”

“well, josh, what about your relationship then?” the interviewer asked him.

“yeah, joshy, spill the beans.” sam teased.

josh looked down at his hands in his lap and smiled. “I'm really lucky actually. my girlfriend decided to join us on tour this time so i get to spend all my down time with her. you'd be shocked by how lonely you can feel while constantly traveling. yeah we’re playing these huge shows and i’m with my brothers, and i wouldn't trade it for the world, but it's nice to go back to my bunk or my hotel room at the end of the day and know that the person i love is waiting for me.” a chorus of awwws rang around the small room.

josh thought back to the look on your face when he first asked you to come on tour with him. your eyes were beaming and your cheeks hurt from how wide your smile was. of course you were going to say yes, as if it was even a question. you'd follow josh anywhere, just as he would for you.

as sweet as that memory had been in his mind, it was quickly replaced by a different look on your face. one you made last night from your place over him, riding him as though your life depended on it. he recalled how you threw your head back, your eyes rolling into your head as your jaw went slack. his hands roaming every inch of your body he could get to. your moans filled the room and bounced off the walls. josh was absolutely consumed by you, mind, body, and soul. you were perfection to him in this state, and any other. a goddess to be worshiped for the rest of his days.

shaking himself out of his daze, he felt himself harden in his seat, shifting ever so slightly to hide the growing bulge beneath his tight pants. at that point he had decided to force himself to focus on the interview. he began looking for tiny intricate details of his surroundings. the few stray hairs that dangled in front of his face. the way the interviewer's right eye appeared to be a few shades darker than her left eye. the way jake’s leg brushed against his every so often as he bounced it in his own attempt to get rid of his energy. the way the light on the camera blinked red, indicating the interview was still being recorded. anything.

it worked for the remainder of the questioning. he let his brothers take most of the questions while he waited for the whole thing to be over. Time seemed to be moving too fast while simultaneously not fast enough. He stopped looking at the clock, knowing that it would make the whole ordeal drag on. Something about a watched pot never boiling.

Luckily for josh, the interview finally ended and everyone was making their way back to the bus. The drive to the hotel was relatively quick, only about 10 minutes long. Josh was squirming the entire time, not able to lay down in his bunk, and instead choosing to sit on one of the couches up front. Danny and sam had been too wrapped up in their card game to pay attention to josh, but jake was a keen observer of his twin, and he knew josh’s behavior paired with his inattentiveness and blank stares during the interview were signs that his mind was elsewhere. He got up to sit next to his brother.

“You’ve been super out of it today. Care to share your thoughts with the class?” jake asked.

Josh smirked, tossing his head back and chuckling. “Trust me brother dearest, i’m not sharing these thoughts with anyone.”

Jake looked at his twin with a quirked brow, realizing immediately why josh was jumpy on the bus. He knew that you were waiting for josh at the hotel. What he didn’t know was the way josh requested you to be waiting for him.

Josh thought back to the conversation the two of you had that morning, shutting his eyes to recall the memory even better.

“It shouldn’t take that long my love.” josh spoke, caressing your face with the soft skin of his hand. “Just a quick little interview and i’ll be back to you in no time.”

You pouted, looking up at him with pleading eyes. You knew that was a weakness of his. Innocent eyes from the most gorgeous creature he’d ever known, a laughable juxtaposition given how filthy he knew you to be.

“Aw come on sweetness. Don’t give me that look. You know i’d stay in bed with you all day if i could.” his hand started trailing down your arm, then to your torso, then to the edge of your panties, slowly moving two of his fingers over your clothed pussy. You shut your eyes and arched your back, preening into his touch. No matter how many times he touched you, it always felt like the first time, never anything other than amazing.

“Just a few short hours and i’ll be back here, with you. Loving on every inch of this perfect body, pulling those angelic little whines from those perfect lips.” you moaned at his words, causing him to smile. “Yeah, baby. Just like that.” the pressure from his fingers increased, still teasing but still providing you with delicious pleasure. But just like that, his hands ceased their movement, moving up your body to hold you tight. You whined at the loss, having been under the impression josh was going to take you to the finish line.

“Sorry lover. You’ll have to wait until i get back to get what you want.” he kissed you passionately before hopping out of bed to get ready. “I’ll text you when we’re on our way back,” he started, walking back to the bed to cup your jaw with his right hand. He moved his head close to your ear, gently biting the lobe before continuing. “And when i walk into this room, i want to see you fully undressed, on your hands and knees, and that incredible ass high up in the air. Understood, princess?”

You whimpered in response, nodding quickly in submission. Josh smiled, kissing your cheek and saying goodbye before heading out.

The second the bus reached the hotel, josh jumped from his seat and nearly sprinted inside. His three brothers stared at him as he did so, chuckling at his eagerness. Danny spoke up, addressing sam and jake. “I was going to suggest lunch and some drinks, but something tells me josh is going to be a bit preoccupied for a while.”

Taking the elevator up to his floor, josh felt antsy. Not with nerves, rather extreme excitement. He couldn’t think of anything other than you the entire time he was at that interview. Couldn’t stop thinking about your lips, your body, your beautiful moans, how warm and tight you felt around him. He felt himself strain against his jeans at the thought, fighting the urge to palm himself over his pants while in the confines of the elevator.

The second he got to your shared suite he flung the door open, heading straight for the bedroom. Eyes widening and darkening immediately at the sight before him. Always such a good listener. He could see your pussy glistening with your slick from where he stood, his mouth salivating on its own accord.

He began shedding his clothing to match your state of undress, making his way over to where you were positioned in the middle of the bed. “You, my sweet, sweet girl, are a huge distraction.” he breathed out, his lips and hands trailing along the length of your back. You turned your head to look at him, a playful smirk taking its place on your lips. “Oh yeah? Guess you’ll have to punish me for it.”

Josh groaned at your words, his cock twitching between your ass and his stomach. His grip on your skin tightening as he bit down on your shoulder, licking the mark to soothe it right after.

"oh sweetheart, you are so fucking in for it."

#gvf smut #greta van fleet smut #josh kiszka #josh kiszka greta van fleet #josh kiszka gvf #josh kiszka smut #josh gvf #greta van fleet #gvf #gretavanfleet #my fics #joshua michael monday

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ofliterarynature · 2 months

Text

FEBRUARY 2024 WRAP UP

[loved liked ok nope dnf (reread) book club*]

The Djinn Waits a Hundred Years • The Memory Librarian • Pixels of You* • Arch-Enemies • Moby Dyke • Pip Bartlett’s Guide to Magical Creatures • A Sinister Revenge • Lud in the Mist • Crying in H Mart • Something Close to Magic • Hula • (Renegades) • The Divorce Colony • Foundryside • Earthlings • A Far Wilder Magic

total: 13 books (12 audiobook, 1 print)

Not as many books this month! And not just because February has fewer days, I was really in a funk this month and struggling to pay attention to my audiobooks (and enjoy them). You wouldn't think there's such a thing as too many books, but I think the overtime hours at work are hitting their peak mental health destruction. Here's to hoping things improve in March!

The Divorce Colony (4.5 stars) - genuinely can't believe this was my 3rd nonfic of the year already! I picked a print copy of this up at a library sale in December after hearing about divorce colonies in the early 20th century on a recent episode of the 99% Invisible podcast. Turns out this book was actually about the beginning of the moment that took place in Sioux Falls, South Dakota in the 1800's. Western states had shorter residency periods and less strict divorce laws, so women (and the occasional man) would travel west and live there for several months in order to obtain a divorce. This book tracks the movement through the stories of 4 of the more infamous cases to make the papers, and does an incredible job of weaving in the surrounding political and religious discussions. Would recommend, and has a great cover to boot!

Renegades (3 stars) - a reread, and for some reason it was torture. I originally read this back in 2018 and loved it, and wanted to tackle it again and actually finish the rest of the series. But I kept getting worked up and frustrated this time around! It kept trying to take itself seriously while also being very YA and kind of superhero-camp, and I was absolutely overthinking it lol. I found the strength to press on into book two, Archenemies (3.5 stars). I liked it a bit more! Something about it being new, the story being a bit more settled and maybe getting a better grasp on its message/politics, the characters growing more, me figuring out that I shouldn't listen to the audiobook for more than an hour or so at a time, lmao. Not great, but fun, and possibly worth reading? I'll keep y'all updated when I finish book 3.

Hula (5 stars) - incredible. Part generational family story, part history, part discussion of what it means to be Hawaiian, culturally and legally. Not always the easiest of reads, but it was so so worth it. It was also doing something very interesting with parts of the narration voiced by a collective "we" (culture/community?) that I would love to get a look at in print. Highly recommend, I'll definitely be getting myself a copy.

Something Close to Magic (4.5 stars) - an absolute delight! The Gail Carson Levine comp on this one is not entirely unearned, anyone who's a fan of fairy tale type fantasies will enjoy this, I had a great time! Very interestingly, it has characters who are in their mid to late teens, but is written in a way where they're still allowed to be young, to the point I'm surprised it didn't get shoehorned into MG instead of YA. If the author writes any more of these I'd be happy to read them.

Crying in H Mart (3.5 stars) - nonfic number 4! I'm sure everyone's heard of this one by now, which is why I finally picked it up. It's fine (which is why it got an extra .5 star), but on the scale of take it or leave it, I'd leave it. It just wasn't for me and I kind of wish I'd dnf'd it. A great cover though.

Lud-in-the-Mist (3.5 stars) - this one seems to be considered a sort of early precursor to fantasy and fairy tale type stories from the early 20th century, and I was eager to try it! While I definitely don't think it would feel out of place amongst it's more recent fellows (think the Last Unicorn, Robin McKinley, DWJ, etc), I absolutely could not get into it. Probably the chief recipient of "my brain doesn't want to cooperate, sorry," so maybe I'll give it another shot someday.

A Sinister Revenge (4 stars) - enjoyable as always! Not to hide this deep in my reviews or anything, but have the Emily Wilde people tried Veronica Speedwell yet?

Pip Bartlett's Guide to Magical Creatures (3 stars) - This one's been sitting unread on my shelf for a while, and since I was on a bit of a Maggie Stiefvater run, I figured it was perfect! Well. Unless you are like 7, this was so bad. Not good. Having previously read and not liked a book by Maggie's co-author Jackson Pearce, I think it would not be unreasonable for me to assume she did most of the writing while Maggie did the illustrations - if the audiobook had been any longer than 4 hours I'd have absolutely DNF'd it, and I have no intention of continuing the series.

Moby Dyke: An Obsessive Quest to Track Down the Last Remaining Lesbian Bars in the Country (4.5 stars) - part of me was wondering what I was doing trying this lol, not being someone who drinks or goes to bars, OR, as previously mentioned, is not the biggest fan of memoirs. It was not, as I hoped, also part research project, but it is a travelogue, and as a consequence has a strong narrative thread. It also has a lot of discussions about issues in the LGBTQ+ community, and overall I really liked it once I figured out what it was doing!

Pixels of You (3.5 stars) - a very short sapphic rivals-to friends-to lovers graphic novel about a human-form AI and a human with an android eye competing for a photography internship at an art gallery. The creators clearly put SO much thought into their characters and worldbuilding, but sadly there is nowhere near enough length here to do it all justice, and a number of elements felt very odd or under explored. The relationship parts are great! I just think this needed to be twice as long to really given everything its due, or maybe explored in prose instead.

The Memory Librarian (3.5 stars) - to start, I know nothing about the musical album this is related to, so I don't know how much that might have affected my reading. Overall I wasn't super impressed - when I discovered that the first story was cowritten by Alaya Dawn Johnson - no shade to her - I almost dropped it then, I just really didn't like her writing style in the one book I've read. But I stuck through it. Of the five stories, only one really stuck in my mind - Nevermind, cowritten by Danny Lore, which I could have read an entire novel about. I wish I could recommend it on its own, but overall I just don't quite understand the world Monae has created.

The Djinn Waits a Hundred Years (3.5 stars) - I probably should say more about the book, it was fine, I was surprised to find that it's set in relatively current day, I found myself a lot more interested in the second narrative about the house's history, which did make me cry a bit. Mostly though, I really just want to let you know how MUCH of a non-entity the djinn was in this story, I have no idea why it was there and why it was included in the title of the book. All the author had to do was make the house a little more sentient and haunted and it would be fine, idk. Read it if you want, but it's not one I would rec.

DNF'S

Foundryside - I was so ready. I had the first two audiobooks checked out, I had the third one on hold. I started this but oh, the writing. bleh. I was looking thought reviews and someone referred to it as something like "21st century internet speak." In a high fantasy novel. I noped out at just 10%.

Earthlings - I've considered the author's other book before but haven't read it, but thought maybe a sci-fic book would work better for me? The beginning was odd but not uninteresting, and I might have continued if it had stayed that way. But then the main character was in school(?) and her teacher started getting handsy after class and I wasn't invested enough to stick it out.

A Far Wilder Magic - the success of Something Close to Magic made me a little too hopeful I think, bc while I'm still a little leery around YA, I know people have liked this. And it sounded interesting, truly, and I love the cover. But first it was the religion stuff. And I didn't really like the characters. Then it's like, oh, this is the same plot as The Scorpio Races, but nowhere near it's quality in any shape or form. I decided to stop while I was ahead, before I started to actually dislike it. (anyway here's your PSA to go read The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater, I recommend doing it in October if you can).

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angelicalacrimae · 1 year

Text

why strawberry crepe cookie is very autistic coded

by: yours truly, an autistic person who happens to like the pink cookie a lot! 🌸

the chart above is what i will be using as a base for some of the behaviors they express. though i'm letting you guys know beforehand that autism looks different in everyone (obviously) and that some traits might be influenced by traumatic events in your early years of life (like what happens with Crepe.)

most of the information has been taken from canon events and stories, and some other things are just based on my own interpretation of their dialogue and the few things we know about their backstory!

we will go in parts, describing each tab in as much detail as i possibly can ...

that being said, sit the fuck down, grab some snacks, and listen to me ramble about the little pink cookie, because that's what autism made ME do. some people solve math problems, i talk about my little pink thing while i rotate them around in my head like a microwave.

before i start: spoiler warning for pretty much everything regarding Strawberry Crepe Cookie and cookie odyssey.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

i. fixations -

the fixations tab is the easiest thing to explain from this mess, since it's most of their character: robotics!Crepe shows a high interest in wafflebots! being pretty much one of the few things they talk about freely (and something they're very passionate about as a whole) and being something that takes up most of their day and routine.

there are many parts where they start rambling about the bots, being most noticeable during the cookie odyssey (they have many of these moments during their parts of the story! 🎶)

(they also seem to be messy as mentioned by Clotted Cream Cookie at some point in odyssey, unless it comes to their tools! which is. something i relate to deeply lmao. i find organizing my clothes and things pretty boring, but i enjoy organizing my art supplies for example. relaxing activities ~ i'm not sure if it IS part of a fixation but i still think it deserves a spot.)

🌸🌸🌸

ii. noise sensitivity -

this is also easy to explain: they don't like noise. one of their "default phrases" is. just that. them complaining about the noise (and mentioning that their bots are more quiet, once again tying things back to their special interest/hyperfixation.)

and this new comment from the spring 2023 event.

🌸🌸🌸

iii. aggression -

while also having canon arguments to back up this one, it can't really be used as a way to say "oh Crepe is autistic". why? because crepe has gone through trauma and was exposed to violence as a fairly young kid, specially since it wasn't really explained to them that what they did was wrong.

they are aggressive, having threatened others before ... but is it an autistic thing, or just a trauma response of some sort? i can't really tell, honestly. so i'm going to replace it with:

🦄🌸 the inability to properly identify their own emotions, something i've struggled with since i was just a little guy !!!! 🌸🦄

(or, in proper terms, i think it's called alexithymia! if this is wrong i will correct myself.)

when Pure Vanilla mentioned the time period they were alone (or with DE) they responded with: "well ... it WAS boring!"

boring, a word that seems to be quite common in their vocabulary and mine (especially as a kid, we're talking a 5-8 y/o child who struggled to properly identify their emotions and was pretty disconnected from them)

i remember always complaining of boredom, and i sometimes still mix boredom with sadness, understimulation ... you call it.

and the fact that they used the word "boring" to describe a (definitely) traumatic period of their life is. quite interesting to me!

were they truly bored, or were they sad? anxious? scared ...?

and then, once again, in the spring 2023 event, we get more of that:

it happens after the group of kids they're playing with don't listen to their attempts of communicating their discomfort and stress over the situation they're in, Crepe was trying to communicate that they weren't happy with the noise they were making and the fact that everyone was walking in different directions. (and one of the kids was being particularly hyperactive too)

so, they lashed out.

pretty self-explanatory. Crepe also isn't very good at expressing and controlling their negative emotions.

so yeah! back to the ACTUAL chart now ...

🌸🌸🌸

iv. social difficulty -

yeah, another obvious one. they struggle with socializing and seem to prefer the company of their robots and small crowds. (or older people, they seem to be a lot more nicer around Espresso. like in the christmas 2022 story)

not much to say, their socializing skills may also be affected by their trauma. (they were frozen for years as a child, abandoned by their village and then by Dark Enchantress, leading to a pretty lonely life before the events of chapter 9 and odyssey)

but i do think they're genuinely just an awkward little kid, and that's fine! they're learning at their own pace as i've mentioned in another post :)

🌸🌸🌸

v. speech pattern -

... it may be me, but their way of speaking is different of the way kids around their age express themselves usually, so i say they got an abnormal speech pattern.

they use big words and know what they mean, end of the speech tab. i don't know how a normal person speaks so i can't really say "this was supposed to be abnormal speech? but I speak like that!"

🌸🌸🌸

vi. depression / anxiety -

the depression and anxiety tab are mainly based on headcanons i branched out based on their backstory, but they may be enforced by their crunchy dreams story and their fortune: "you're not alone: love surrounds you."

it's probably not related to autism, though. it's probably because of their trauma and abandonment issues. either way it's there.

to need reassuring in something like this means that they probably cling compulsively to certain thoughts/beliefs.

which, if i remember correctly, is a thing that sometimes happens with autistic people according to other autistic people. it's like a weird fixation of sorts, i'm not 100% sure ...

the only time(s) i've seen them have some sort of anxious behavior is during their battle speech, where they panic after losing to Gingerbrave's team.

then during the spring event of 2023, where they say that they "can't think straight" because of the noise Pancake Cookie is making.

🌸🌸🌸

i'm not sure if they got any tics and fidgets, i haven't noticed anything that can classify as such, so it's one of the lowest tabs.

same with the abnormal posture. and if they got it is probably because of the being frozen thing weakening their body to an extent.

🌸🌸🌸

in conclusion! after tumblr deleted part of my post from my drafts ... _(:3」 ∠)_

i wholeheartedly believe Crepe might be an autistic coded character, whether or not is something the writers intended to do isn't clear to me, but they show SO many traits that i wouldn't be surprised if they canonically were! most of the things i mentioned are also based from my own experience and the bits i can remember form my own childhood as an undiagnosed kid, but yeah!

i hope you enjoyed this painfully long rant <3 i might make one eventually about how i think Crepe might also be physically disabled (implied), but for now, have this.

okay bye i can't post more pictures because the app sucks.

#strawberry crepe cookie #strawberry crepe crk #cookie run kingdom #long post #character analysis #autism be damned my cookie can build robots #actually autistic #autistic character

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hillbillyoracle · 10 months

Note

Not sure what to ask about, don't want to overstep what you may be comfortable talking about, or if you even have experience with it (mental health is a broad spectrum). But do you have any advice on healing from dissociation? Or differentiating between reality and magical thinking?

I do have some personal experience with this. I won't share all the experience itself much as it's pretty personal but I'd love to share some stuff that's worked well for me.

I unfortunately don't know as much about the research side of this as I'd like. It was mentioned but not discussed much in the program I left when I got sick (BSW). And a cursory look at some research shows most interventions that show promise require a therapist lead technique. There's a lot less on self treatment.

So given that I'll focus on what's helped me.

On Healing Dissociation

I personally resonate with those who've posited that dissociation is an extreme freeze response - as in fight, flight, freeze. So that fundamentally frames both what I've tried and what's helped me.

I don't know enough to debate whether trauma has to have been involved for "real dissociation" so I won't. I just know it's in the mix for me.

Know Your Triggers

I know this is cliché advice but I think for dissociation more so than many other symptoms it's been super key. I really struggled with this. What ultimately wound up being helpful wasn't a log format but just journaling and reflecting on the times I'd dissociated.

For me they were all rooted in a very specific find of interpersonal fear. The exact details of the situation could change but if that specific fear, that someone would do a specific action in a specific way came up, dissociation would flare.

I think I had the idea that triggers were topics or material similarities for previous traumatic experiences but for me that wasn't the case. The internal experience of it tended to be a bigger trigger than the external material similarities. I think because as long as I had a different internal experience of something I could assure myself that this situation was different but the minute that was gone collapse into freeze became almost inevitable.

Avoid Dissociative Activities

Depending on how bad things are this might be day to day or it might be for periods of high stress/triggers. For me, when I really decided to take dissociation seriously I had a kind of drying out period where for several weeks to several months I just didn't engage in dissociative activities at all but I'm at a point now where I limit them when I either know I'll be exposed to triggers or I already have been.

So what are dissociative activities? They're a lot of what you'd expect. They're "brain off" activities. Scrolling through social media, binging shows, binging a game - basically anything you could do for multiple hours without taking a break has the potential to become a dissociative activity.

I've also personally found fiction in particular can be quite triggering of it. That might not be everyone but it's worth seeing if that's an issue for you.

For activities that you need to do but that can become dissociative like sleep, it can be a tough needle to thread. It might be silly but tying wake up times to things you actually like can be helpful. Texts from friend have helped me. Having someone actually physically come in and wake you up can help if you have that option.

Movement

Since dissociation is a freeze response, movement has been very key to shaking it. It's not always possible, especially at first, but the minute I have some leeway in motor movement I try to get moving. It doesn't have to be much, just walking has helped. Sometimes if I can feel it coming on, just going for a long brisk walk will stave it off enough for other coping mechanisms to be more effective.

I think it's just as good for prevention. When I'm walking and doing some strength training more, it comes up less. There's something very regulating to the nervous system about it would be my guess.

Polyvagal Strategies

This is a whole rabbit hole and there's no way I could go into everything here. I recommend searching for more about it. But the polyvagal strategies that have helped me dissociate less have been cold exposure (I take cold showers not infrequently), getting outside/listening to nature sounds, self massaging my neck in particular, and humming.

Which strategies work best for which people really takes some troubleshooting so it's worth looking a list of things to try out and highlight the ones that work.

Schema Therapy + Internal Family Systems

Even if you don't have full blown Dissociative Identity Disorder, these are two modalities that can be helpful and have a self help component. It's pretty easy to find workbooks for these (especially schema therapy) online for decent prices.

I think where these shine is in getting a better idea of your internal "map". Where you feel and align yourself one way and where you feel and align yourself another. Knowing your habitual responses allows you to shape them differently if you so choose.

Because both of these modalities involve a multipartite self, they have often felt more realistic and relatable to me as someone with dissociation issues. And sometimes you just want to sit down with a workbook and think real hard about your life. So these are good for that.

What Healing Looks Like

So one place where I differ from a lot of others is that I don't think a "unified sense of self" is really necessary or possible for all people. Like I really don't think it'll ever be in the cards for me. There is a certain amount of, for lack of a better term, internal dissociation I've chosen to just roll with as it doesn't cause meaningful dysfunction in my life when it arises.

So for me healing has primarily been building better self management skills so that I don't snap to dissociation reflexively in the situations I used to. It caused problems in those areas and I'm thankful that it doesn't overpower me like it used to. I have more of a say. That increased agency is healing to me personally.

This is all to say, you may never reach a point where you don't experience aspects of dissociation but I'd argue that healing is rooted much more in functioning rather than whether you experience a symptom at all. Every step toward more function and less reliance on dissociation as a primary coping method is in of itself healing in my book.

On Reality and Magical Thinking

I struggle with this as someone with OCD. And I get that's not how you might be struggling with it Anon so I'm not sure how much of what I'll say will apply to you, but I'll share it all the same.

I personally think most people engage in magical thinking on some level and scrubbing all of that might not be realistic. What's helped me is focusing on the areas where it causes the most problems and letting the rest go for the time being.

As far as knowing the difference I think it comes down to knowing your patterns. My pattern is that magical thinking will feel hopeful in a very emotionally intense way rather than a calm and collected way and that it'll be certain of a specific result in a specific time frame. But yours might be different.

It can help to have a friend you trust to point it out to you where they're able so you can begin to piece together what the similarities might be.

Rely on the Experts

I find the expert in the field that my magical thinking/obsessions are focused on and find out what they have to say. I then am pretty strict with myself about only making decisions based on those expert opinions in those areas. This is helpful for if I don't know whether what I'm dealing with is actually an obsession or magical thinking as well. If it aligns with the experts, it's probably not or it's unlikely to cause issues. If it diverges, especially greatly, there's greater risk and I don't rely on my own knowledge.

Grounding Techniques

Getting grounded often helps me start to parse magical thinking from reality. So getting really present for as long as I can manage and then thinking about the topic or issue again can help me catch it sometimes.

Some of my favorite grounding techniques are finding something os note through the five senses, finding five objects for each color of the rainbow in your environment, and feeling the weight of your body on a surface and just breathing with that awareness.

Thought Stopping/Say "I Don't Know"

For areas where there are no experts (my personal relationships) or I can't find or understand them, I rely more on thought stopping. You can go the CBT route of have a preprepared though to substitute the thought with. I tend to make my default replacement thought some version of "well, I'm not so sure about that." Because it's when the certainty calcifies me in that there are the most problems.

As for how to tell whether something is magical thinking without experts, I think it can help to have a default position of I'm not sure. It at least gives some lead time for me to mull things over or try strategies that I have more certainty in.

Reality Daydreaming

Sometimes my brain just really wanna daydream and wander in unhelpful ways. So I cope by pointing it at a list of "problems" I'm mulling over (how to rearrange my room or fridge, how would I rearrange a friend's room if given the chance, if I ever got a garden going what would be in it, etc) instead of letting it get too far into the weeds in unhelpful stuff ("if I do xyz this friend will contact me again so here let me imagine a whole future of us being buds when they get back to me").

It's ultimately a form of harm reduction which is sometimes all you can hope for.

Hope this is helpful to you in some way anon and I appreciate the question!

#dissociation #did #ddos #mental health #asks #answered asks

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crymeariveronceagain · 1 year

Note

Okay, okay, I know you don't associate with the (albeit very toxic) bnha fandom, but I just desperately wanted to know about your thoughts on Denki?

Also hi ily sm for entertaining me and seriously if this is making you have the anxieties don't answer it

Love ya <333

aaayyy beloved!

happy to share my thoughts on Denki Kaminari(the loml)!!! I just don't tag my bnha stuff as anything other than bnha, because then they will never <3 find me <3 hah <3

anyways. Denki Kaminari:

Pop punk all the way. Sk8r boi see you later boy all the way. He's got a sense of style that's unrivaled. Ripped jeans, band tees, necklaces, earrings, Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Avril Lavigne, Panic! At the Disco. He wears converse and plays his music on the highest possible setting through his earbuds. He's black and white and pink and yellow, pastel blue and neon green, and of course, bright, bright, bright yellow.

Skateboards are the only thing he's coordinated with. Whenever he's got free time on weekends, he heads to the park near his house and skateboards. He's actually got a ton of non-school friends who go to the skate park regularly and they all just generally have a great time. If he wasn't going to be a pro-hero, he'd be a pro-skateboarder instead. His phone is full of shaky videos of him and his skater friends doing tricks. In the background, there's always half-ecstatic shrieking whenever one of them lands a trick.

He chews bubblegum and sticks it to the bottom of desks. Also, if a class doesn't have assigned seating, he's the kid who constantly moves around and disrupts the self-assigned seating of everyone else in the class. People get so annoyed about it, but Kaminari is never going to change.

The lightning bolt in his hair is natural. It just matches his entire aesthetic perfectly.

Super high pain tolerance naturally. Once, when Mina demanded that all her friends try that period pain simulator(because Mina's like that), Kaminari made it all the way to the second-worst pain level before having to stop. Bakugo, however, was out in two levels.

It gets worse after a ton of quirk usage. All that zapping really frazzles his nerves to the point where someone could punch him in the arm and he wouldn't feel it. It's a dangerous side effect to have brought on in battle, but it's just something he's gotta deal with.

That being said, he could get shot and not notice until after the battle's over and the adrenaline starts to wear off. He could keep a hand pressed over the wound because he still doesn't feel it. He could slowly start to feel it again, get woozy from pain and blood loss, and stagger forwards, only to collapse and have his friends crowd around him worriedly. Just a thought.

ADHD, Dyslexia, and Dysgraphia. Diagnosed. However, he thinks a pro-hero should be able to pass without accommodations. So my dude is struggling in class, and absolutely sucking, because of his pride and his internalized idea that he is somehow less diligent, less smart, and less worthy of his place in the class if he actually gets help with his diagnosed medical issues.

His parents really trust him to know how to take care of himself. They're good people, and they pretty much let him deal with his own life. They're always there if he needs them, but he's so determined to not need them, that he simply won't go to them. He's independent enough, the sixteen year old said to himself, who needs parents? Gotta have that "self-reliant to a fault" complex that all the 1-A kids have, right? Why get an adult if you can get trauma and pain and do it yourself!

He silently hates short-circuiting. That's it. He loathes it. He hates how he reacts. He hates how much of an idiot he seems. He hates how he can't think. It's like the numbness from earlier takes over his whole brain. It's nasty, and he hates it. But he laughs it off. Humor is an excellent coping mechanism, because if he can't laugh, he'll cry, and then everyone will know he's got feelings about it deep down, and nope! Pro-heroes can't have those! He's just gotta get better and stop short-circuiting.

Aizawa loves the kid. Aizawa loves all his kids. But Aizawa really appreciates what Kaminari can do, and appreciates the vibe he brings. Especially his positivity. Reminds Aizawa of Present Mic. The world definitely needs more Present Mics in it. Bubbly, confident, on-fire people, willing to speak their minds and brighten the lives of others? Aizawa loves to see it.

I have so many more thoughts on him... but like these are some of my main ones!! :DDD

#bnha #mha #kaminari denki #thanks for the ask!#headcanons #iris!!!

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princesscolumbia · 5 months

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I just experienced my worst dysphoric episode since the pandemic, possibly ever.

I grew up in Colorado with my sister. Both my parents experienced auto accidents and we wound up in the care of a woman who we would nowadays call a TERF. She'd manipulated damn near everyone and made my life absolute CPTSD-inducing hell and I got out at 17, but she burned it into me that being a 'tranny' was the worst thing I could ever be and I was going to be raping children before I knew it if I didn't get it under control. This bitch scarred me so bad I didn't even investigate if she might be wrong for a decade.

I wound up moving in with my dad when I was 17 and this meant going to California to live. Thanks to the greater access to support and information in San Diego (by coincidence, I wound up moving in just down the road from the San Diego LGBT Center), I learned that damn near everything I had been told by my stepmother was wrong. It still took a very long time before I started my transition, though, and by that point I'd moved to Arizona (Phoenix, specifically), and started transitioning right after a painful and traumatic divorce.

I had met another transwoman online and she moved out to join me to get me through the most intensely painful and traumatic period of my life since getting out of my stepmother's place. After we'd settled into our own apartment, my girlfriend started noticing behaviors where I'd take on too much responsibility, was unable to tell her 'no' even when I needed to, I'd go out of my way to keep her happy even at the expense of my own health and well-being, and I'd work myself into exhaustion repeatedly. She had to bodily pick me up when I'd pushed myself in workouts to the point I couldn't get up off the floor. She put her foot down and started getting me help, as well as making sure I didn't self-sabotage and enjoying hobbies that break me out of my routine. (She got me a subscription to a model kit to build, which isn't something that happens every day and forces me to step away from the computer and my chores and work for a bit at least once a month)

I'm nowhere near perfect by this point, but when I returned to Colorado to spend time with family for the first time in a couple decades, I saw all my own self-destructive habits in my sister, who has a wonderful husband who does his best but I can see it's a struggle for both of them.

My whole family is doing their best to accept my transition, but they struggle not to say "he" or "him," and they almost always correct themselves, but it's just a little paper-cut that's been building for days now.

Today we went to my niece's school play (Madagascar adapted to a musical for children, it was adorable) and I was suddenly feeling incredibly self-aware. I felt like every eye was on me and I realized I needed to use the bathroom but now I didn't dare because I wasn't wearing makeup and except for family (who've been having issues with it) I haven't been correctly gendered once since I got here there was a cop circulating among the crowd of kids and their parents and I just knew I was going to be arrested just for existing in public while trans and I was the tallest person there and everyone could see me...

I was able to lose myself in the performance, keep my eyes on the kids and just enjoy it as much as possible, but the dysphoria was grinding away in my awareness, right on the edges, and as soon as the house lights in the theater came up, I headed for the door...where the cast of the play and half their parents were gathered to greet the patrons. I had to walk through a gauntlet of people who would be looking at my face at least once.

I walked and walked and walked in a straight line until I was out of the building and hit a wall and just stopped. My daughter was dutifully following, and I was trying my best to get it under control when my mom came up and asked if she could help and I just...broke. I cried on her shoulder for the first time since my divorce (before I started transitioning) and she had no idea what was wrong.

I was crying all the way back to my sister's place.

After we got back to the house and got some lunch in us, mom and I sat down and I explained about dysphoria in general and that moment in particular. My sister hasn't gotten home yet, but apparently she and mom were talking and (I should have known, I do the exact same thing) she had the thought that I was mad at her.

So I get to have another conversation (hopefully private) when she's finally back.

#dysphoria #trans #transition #trauma #transgender #trans woman #lgbtq+#lgbt #lgbtq #t-slur #TERFs get souped #Not Safe For TERFs #TERFs get fucked #misgendering #she/her #transphobia #queerphobia #transphobia mention

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thesoulesscollection · 2 years

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Do you think you could write something about trans pregnant Charles? Just like somethings nice like “I’m bringing life into this world like a boss!” Then something like the mood swings kick in and he starts sobbing.

Hi, thank you for the prompt request and I'm really sorry that this took me a while to post but here it is now. I wanted this to be written near perfectly and I had to redo it a few times. Hopefully you'll like it even when I took a slightly different take to this request. Ask box is always open to be flooded

I know this may not be for everyone due to the understandable personal reasons. As someone trans themselves often feeling like a fraud I do get the discomfort. Simply put, I wanted to explore it as realistically and respectfully as possible with my own feelings towards it. So make sure to read the tags to check or ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. Your comfort should be top priority here.

Tw/Tags: BROvert Ops Timeline, Trans Character - Charles Calvin, Trans Pregnancy, Body Dysmorphia, Implied Transphobia, Implied Sexism/Misogyny, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Supportive Henry, Ambiguous Relationships (StickVin; Can Be Seen As Platonic Or Romantic), & Happy/Hopeful Ending

'Pregnancy. It should be such a joyous time for any young woman. Where you make another life inside yourself. What your body was meant to do. It's so easy, dearie. An absolute cake walk. You will love every second of it'

Recoiling back, face scrunched up upon hearing the familiar nagging falsely kind voices rang in his head reminded him of his childhood, something he often hoped to forget like how they used to speak in such a patronizing tone. Even when he fought them at every turn, loudly protesting at them that he was meant to be his own person given his own choices to both mind and body yet they would shout over him about the creation of life, it was to be his duty as a woman, how he shouldn't be a defiant wayward child. Bitterly burying the memories, accepting how he was made to be disgustingly uncomfortable in his own skin. Worse, his body was doing what once he vehemently decided to never do in pure spite, to carry another life, one he never would've thought would happen - it was a startling shock to say the least - yet he didn't dare get rid of it. Finally free from the suffocating confines from his prior life he was meant to be living his best life as the man he desired though he was clearly struggling to keep it together.

So here he stiffly stood in his room alone, arms glued to his side, back aching terribly while stuck in a body altering dilemma he never got the urge to partake in. As he sucked in a breath, Charles witnessed the clothes for today to wear strewn out on his bed, in his head they were mocking him, almost taking twisted enjoyment over his pain.

His sharp mind was in a foggy haze. What he's experiencing wasn't right. Charles needed to be in control at all times, there were people heavily relying on him to be the best, so he should be positively happy when in truth he was miserable. This got to be the toughest period in his life, unable to wrap his mind around it.

'Easy my ass... How in the world is this wonderful or beautiful? This is plain awful' In turmoil, Charles groused, red rimmed eyes close to watering yet stubbornly held the tears back, looking like total dog crap, worse knowing for him he was only a few months in.

"Nothing is going right" Tossing his clothes on haphazardly Charles was smoothing his military jacket, staring at himself in the mirror, far from particularly enjoying what he saw in the reflection he drawled out his pent frustrations, "Everything is going against me here"

What he saw wasn't nice, at least in his opinion. Years after he's built the desired appearance it was simply going down the drain. In a very weak, pitiful attempt to look smaller he ran his hands down his jacket trying to smooth down the tight, thin lines stretched across his stomach. The round bump kept growing at a decent pace in size over the weeks, unnaturally stubborn it remained no matter what he desperately did to hide his condition, sorely sticking out on his frame. Unable to keep appearances for much longer which left him terribly sickened at the image.

"Hey? Fine there?" Soon hearing the door to his bedroom open slowly, Henry's voice calls out, Charles abruptly turns around almost defensively covering his body, "You're done or…?"

"I. Uh… Almost, I guess…"

"You're sure? You've been in here for almost a half hour? We're both going to be late?"

Deciding to further shield himself, nobody should see him like this even his closest friend so he shamefully wiggled a little to better fit into his bit too tight clothes struggling to zip up his jacket.

"I… I.. Don't feel good"

"You don't? Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to call the General for you and say you can't come in today? That's totally fine and I can stay behind too to make sure you're alright"

"O-oh. Oh, no. No. I can't call out. Not today or any day, Henry" Charles quickly reacted, taking any time off, a mere single day even when it came to his job, horrified him to no end, "We can't do that… It's been so busy recently with the missions and all that it wouldn't be fair to you or anyone else"

Raising a brow Henry appears skeptical, taking a cautious step closer scanning the pilot's disheveled appearance, "You're sure it's nothing?"

Hesitancy grew though Charles just bit his tongue, simply nodding along as he waved off any possible worry.

"Charles. You know me, right? If there's something wrong, you can tell me" In genuine concern Henry was hovering around Charles, careful to not cross the sensitive line, cool hands barely grazing across the man's stomach, the main target of the lacking confidence. "I know this has been tough for you. I've seen it stress you to the bone since we found out. So this is only a day off. I don't want you worrying yourself sick over this"

"But I can't"

"Char. Tell me what you're doing?"

Confused shock came on Charles' burning face, tilting his head until realization kicked in as Henry pointedly motioned towards his stomach, "Wha-Oh"

"Hm. C'mon you got this. There shouldn't be shame in this"

"... I-I. I'm bringing life into this world…"

"Like the amazing man you are like the boss you are, heh. You're doing something wonderful… Don't forget that. You're doing good even when you think otherwise"

Sniffling when caught similarly to a startled little deer in the headlights Charles nibbled at his cheek, his body deciding to speak for itself no longer keeping the waterworks at bay, "... Stupid hormones… You're making me cry, Henry. I c-can't right now…"

"Nothing wrong with crying. Let those pesky emotions free. It's true what I'm saying, you know? This is like one of your greatest plans. You'll get through this. You're so tough"

As Charles wept, after wiping the falling tears freely flowing down his puffy cheeks with his balled up fists, he was relieved to express relief for once.

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jerzwriter · 1 year

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It was so hard not to put all the emojis.

I managed to pick these. For all your 6 main characters please.

💥💢🌙🎭💧

Ann! OMG, knowing me, I'd freaking do it. 🤣🤣🤣 🤡

OK let me pop an Adderall and start this lol (That list has my ADHD like WHOA lol )

💥COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with? Going for the jugular from the start, lol OK, let's do this.

Ethan/Kaycee: Ethan, it's self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. Not professionally. There he's a cocky mofo lol But personally? He doubts he'll be "good enough" for Kaycee. There is a certain element of being unable to trust, too; but, Kaycee helps him put that at ease very early on in their relationship.

Kaycee is very put together. She copes very well with most emotions. However, fear of loss can plague her, and when they're bad, it can become debilitating. I trace this back to when her mother came close to death when she was a child, then the attack, and even Ethan's indecision at the start. I HC that she really falls apart in the future when her mother dies. It's a very, very difficult period.

Tobias/Casey: Tobias is so damned self-assured, and he has this blase "OK, so that's in the past, let it go" attitude for himself and everyone else. But, he can struggle a lot with the fear of losing Casey and, later, his girls. His father's early passing and the chemical attack feed that, and when Casey nearly dies giving birth to their third daughter, he is pushed over the edge. He's very protective of his wife and daughters, and he tries to keep this in check, but its a struggle.

Casey struggles with insecurity at some points in her life. Not always; in general, she's very confident and self-assured. But when her anxiety is triggered, her logical mind is not in control, and she can spiral. This is at its peak after the chemical attack but, ironically, after her near-death experience delivering Kayla, she becomes much more at ease.

Eli/Zoe: It's fear of loss and guilt for both of them. They've both lost so much and live in a world where you're almost expected to lose everyone. After his family's deaths and before meeting Zoe, Eli's coping mechanism was extreme withdrawal and isolation. He moves beyond that, but the fear never leaves him. He doesn't know if he could survive losing Zoe.

Zoe's coping mechanism is to find the reason to go on, the people, the things, the cause, to make life worth living regardless of the loss, but Ana's death wounds her deeply. Like Eli, she doesn't know if she could withstand losing him, yet they both know it's a very real possibility.

There is also so much guilt there because his whole family died, and he didn't. And the circumstances surrounding that will haunt him until the day he dies. Ana also has guilt. She feels if her name wasn't on the list, they wouldn't have had to flee The Tower, and Ana would still be alive. Ana sacrificed everything for Zoe, and she doesn't reap any rewards. This is very hard for both of them to cope with.

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

Ethan/Kaycee: Ethan still has anger issues with others at times but doesn't tend to get angry with Kaycee except when she isn't taking care of herself or he feels she's putting herself at risk. That will lead to a fight.

Kayce gets angry when Ethan is inflexible or being too harsh in his judgment of others. It's usually not directed at her, but she doesn't like seeing it, especially when it's not warranted. (It can be with family/friends, definitely at work).

Tobias/Casey: After initially thinking it was funny/cute/harmless, dealing with Casey's initial insecurity/jealousy is an issue. Tobias eventually says she has to trust him, or they won't work. He doesn't want to lose her, but he's willing to walk if they can't work it out.

Casey gets annoyed because he nitpicks when it comes to his cars and her driving (which is very good, by the way). At times, he can also be too overprotective, and that ticks her off. While never with her, he can be slow to forgive others, and that can get her upset.

Eli/Zoe: Eli was so used to being on his own - so adjusting to life with a partner, friends, and a whole colony of people is not always easy. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, and he can become flustered/angered. He also learns to be open with Zoe very quickly, IMO, but there are times he can still have his guard up, and that can cause issues between them. Sometimes, it's Eli needing to do more work; sometimes, it's Zoe needing to be more understanding.

Zoe is always looking at the glass as half-full, but she can be too trusting, and sometimes, that can cause her pain. Still, she continues to trust. This can drive Eli insane, especially since nothing upsets him more than seeing her upset or in peril.

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

Ethan/Kaycee: After coming together, their greatest wish is to have a happy life together and, in time, with Emma. Everything else is secondary. They are willing to make adjustments to their life, including their professional lives, to accommodate this.

Tobias/Casey: Honestly, it's the same as Ethan & Kaycee's.

Eli/Zoe: Eli just wants them to be safe, alive, and to take time to enjoy each other every day. He will do anything for this. Zoe wants the same, but she is on a constant quest to escape the dangers of the world she's in. It is good - but problematic - because she isn't likely to ever get exactly what she wants (life before the outbreak), but if she could, oh, she'd do almost anything to obtain it.

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

I am OBSESSED with this question - even IRL - because we all wear 1,000 masks, we are not the same to every person, and I am OBSESSED. lol (Billy Joel's song "The Stranger" is a favorite)

Ethan/Kaycee: Ethan is VERY different with different people. He is at his truest self with Kaycee, Emma, Naveen, and Alan, but he guards that in front of others like mad. He gets along with Kaycee's friends, but he will still never be 100% at ease with them. Likewise, he rebuilds a friendship with Tobias, but he maintains that level of sarcasm as a protective mechanism to a certain degree. He remains a curmudgeonly ass in the hospital lol

Kaycee is very what you see is what you get, but she is more reserved at work and around people, she isn't entirely comfortable with.

Tobias/Casey: Tobias & Casey are pretty much who they are. They're comfortable in their skin, and they don't adjust that mask too often. Still, they're more reserved in some situations (esp after their girls are born), and it takes a lot for either of them to not like (really not like) someone, but if they don't... oh, watch out. They cannot even be bothered to put on a game face. They'll know it, and the Tobias/Casey that person knows isn't even a resemblance to the one everyone else does.

Eli/Zoe: I will die on this hill: Eli Sipes is NOT the stoic/closed-off/emotionally void person we meet in canon. All of that is a response to extreme trauma. Proof? How quickly he changes - He goes from "STAY AWAY ZOE!" to "Look, you're worth the risk" within a month's time. I really think as time goes on and he adjusts to being loved by Zoe and having a new "family" in their friends and colony, he will be a very different Eli. Class clown, not really (though he does have a wicked sense of humor and loves a good practical joke - especially if it's played on Troy), but with that said, he will always, always, always be much more at ease with Zoe than with anyone else in the world. He'll have all these circles around him. Zoe is the only one in the center; he's still a lot more chill with those in the next circle, but not as much, and so on. By the time you get to the outer core, he's pretty much the Eli we met.

Zoe is very much who she is... but... she doesn't show her vulnerability to everyone. The people who see it the most? Eli, Troy, and Ana before she died. Shannon and Angel do too, but not as much. She also works to try to show some of that to the children that surround her, to let them know it's OK to be vulnerable at times, but it's a struggle.

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

Ethan/Kaycee: You know what's weird, outside of AU's (where I will be brutal lol) I don't have much angst for them in my HC. I think the roughest parts will be dealing with infertility, and dealing with the deaths of their loved ones.

Tobias/Casey: *sigh* When Casey nearly dies after Kayla's birth, Tobias falls apart. He blames himself. She didn't want another child, and even though Kayla was unplanned, she knew how much Tobias wanted more children, so he blames himself. If she had died, I don't know if he could have gone on. He barely does, and it takes a few people to really snap him back into reality while Casey is still very, very ill. (This period is gonna be rough, and I can't wait to write it.)

Eli/Zoe: I have two AUs in mind; in each of them, one doesn't make it. They are ANGSTY AS FUCK, but I can't bring myself to do these things to them in HC. lol

For now (because I'm still developing it), I them coming to terms with his family's death - and her with Ana's - and them trying to help each other assuage the guilt/grief they carry. I also have some pretty angsty pregnancy ideas... but still being thought out. And a potential storyline where someone from one of their pasts shows up and it threatens to tear Eli & Zoe apart.

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A LOT lol - Thanks Ann

#ethan ramsey #ethan x kaycee #tobias carrick #tobias x casey #eli sipes #eli x zoe #asks answered

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jescotyaps · 8 days

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bear or man

In a day and age of social media, everyone has a platform to express their ideas and beliefs. And with this platform, women have used this platform to express their struggles in life, and why feminism is so important to them. And time and time again, when a woman does anything on the internet, or anywhere at all, at least one man has this deep desire to comment on her in any way possible.

There has been a common debate online at the moment where the question at hand is "if you were alone in the forest, would you chose to be with a bear or a man?" Every single woman I know has without hesitation chosen bear. Every woman I've seen responding to this question on the internet has chosen the bear. And the most common response to this choice I've seen is not men having a friendly debate, but just a pure outrage.

"This is coming from someone who's never been alone with a bear."

"What are you gonna do, fight the bear?"

"Women always accuse all men."

"Not all men."

When I first entered high school, I had heard millions of rumors around the halls. Some were bad, some were clearly just jokes and were to be taken with good humor. But the one recurring thing I have seen, over and over again, is the sheer amount of sexual assault allegations. And every time these allegations came out, nothing bad happened. And it wasn't just legal action not being taken, or even seen as an option. It's that men will hear their friends have done horrible things to someone, man or woman, and still pretend nothing's wrong. The first instinct is never to find out the truth, or even think about their own morality. It's always, "oh I know them, they would never do that, I'm sure she was just leading him on".

When you're 15 years old, you are not going to go to the police. Or your parents, or a teacher, or anyone. You are not going to do the smart thing. When you're 15, you're scared. When you're 15, the only fear of punishment you have when an allegation of such a degree is made, is that you will be socially isolated. From the age of 15, men begin to ignore sexual assault. There's no consequences. There's nobody telling them this isn't okay.

And then people grow up. They become adults, with adult strength, and adult money. Suddenly it's so much easier to get away with the horrifying things they've been taught has no consequences for their entire developmental period. And even if "not every man" becomes a rapist, they still defend them as if they're the ones being accused of sexual assault.

When women say they would rather choose the bear, a man's first instinct will never be to ask why, or reflect on why a woman would feel more safe with a creature who could rip them to shreds than a person of the same species, who should share the same love and compassion to the world as they do. It's never "I wonder what has happened to make women feel so unsafe that it is smarter to be scared of all men than to even let your guard down for one moment." We are called stupid, belittled, and constantly discriminated against despite being given hundreds of thousands of reasons to be afraid.

We are not asking for a correct opinion. We are not asking you to correct us, or justify yourself. We stopped asking for compassion and understanding so long ago. All we ask is for our bodies to be left with scrapes and bumps from playing in the fields as a child rather than blood dripping down our thighs.

#feminism #girlhood #mental health #mens health

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deathfavor · 6 months

Text

@sortilegii said: would you like to dance? ( crina for serpent, let them be soft 🥺 )

relentless melt sentence starters

Serpent sits quietly in one of the chairs in chief's office, a finger gently stroking under the chin of the iridescent snake that is always with her. There's no grand purpose to her presence here; nothing to report nor scoldings to be delivered to her. The only reason she is here is that she had asked, adorning the request with a promise not to be a distraction. More often than not, those requests only tend to last only a short period before she wants to talk or do something. Tonight, however, seems a night dipped in somberness because it has been an hour and Serpent has remained quiet and let Crina work while she remained curled up in her chair with music softly floating in the air. Not once has she tried to steal Crina's attention away from the paperwork that Nightingale has left for her.

She yearns to make everyone happy, but it feels closer to despair tonight. Chief said she wasn't a monster, but it feels hard to believe sometimes. More so than she even lets on. Humans don't endanger everyone when they bleed, they don't have potent venom in their teeth or struggle to maintain their temperature. Thoughts like these, memories of crying and bleeding in the dirt outside the Carnival court her thoughts in these late hours of the night. Now and then she watches Crina work, her chest aching like a wound throbbing in winter. Crina deserved happiness. Serpent wants to give her that, but even as she looks away again, she has yet to think of a new way to deliver said happiness. They're both so empty. Where others taste their hopes and dreams, they only taste empty sweetness. Serpent might be chained by the shackles, but the Crina was chained and jailed to her position by laws and politics. Was she happy doing this? How could Serpent give her happiness without freedom? It's one of many situations for her to contemplate.

" Huh? " Serpent lifts her head in surprise, staring at the hand that is extended towards her. When had Crina stopped working? The snake at her side flicks its tongue out, but does nothing more and settles to returning to its usual spot around her arm. It's funny how little things can make you realize sudden facts. Serpent cannot recall a time someone asked to dance with her. Not without selfish intentions at least, though Serpent was more of a solo dancer when she had performed for the eyes of Eastside Elites and those in the underground circles and networks. She also realizes, she's never danced to slow music like this.

Painted lips part subtly before Serpent slowly lifts her hand and rests it in Crina's waiting embrace. Chief is warm. Warm like a sunset on a summer evening with a gentle, cool breeze. Someone who makes you feel seen, but also offers hope and new possibilities that weren't there before. " Okay. " With a gentle pull she uncurls herself from the chair to stand with Crina, hands linked together. It would be strange to see sinner and chief linked in the chief's office, but the night is late and no one is near to disturb the tranquil scene.

One step, then two, and slowly Serpent finds them dancing. Swaying might be a more accurate term - but maybe not. Movies talked about slow dances, Serpent wasn't sure what made something a slow dance rather than just swaying. " I've never danced with someone before. " Serpent confesses quietly so as not to break the spell that the soft music seems to have created. Maybe this isn't a place full of glitz and glamour, but that seems better. Her and chief both wear masks so often, just like glamour often conceals something less picturesque beneath it. Maybe this is the most fitting place for them to be after all. " Always a solo act. "

Still, Serpent does have some familiarity in observing partner dances at events and through movies. So she takes Crina's hand and gently lifts it above the chief's head, urging her into a slow twirl that draws a delicate, breathy giggle from the sinner. Her expression remains soft when she speaks " Have you? Or is this a new adventure for us both? " Serpent pays no mind to the time or their surroundings, only to the Sirius before her, the lonely, bright star.

#sortilegii #HERES SOME SOFT FOR YOU #lil angsty fluff but mostly fluff!#and serpent once again comparing her to the star Sirius :)#ITS SOFT THO THEY DESERVE THIS SOFT #just the two of them enjoying it together #᛭ — [IC] happiness evades the longing heart [SERPENT]

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x-childish-x · 3 years

Note

Hi there! I am back.

I said I was going to request but I never did, right? I kinda broke my phone last week and now that it's fixed: I'd love to request 😊

I'm not good deciding what character I want, so you can write for Obi-Wan or Anakin, the one who gives you more inspiration. And she/her pronouns for reader, please. I pictured reader a little shy and insecure for this. She is trying to discover her talent, because she thinks she's boring with no personality and useless, and now it's time for painting. I don't really know where, but could be on a mission, coming back from one or just chilling together as friends, and reader has the idea to use Ani or Obi as a canvas. So she orders them to take of their shirt and lay on the bed, that makes them 👀, but they do it anyways. So she straddles their back and starts painting and then they talk about lots of things, and someone brings u

You're My Galaxy

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader

Fandom: Star Wars

Warnings: mutual pining, shy!reader, short!reader, loads of blushing, some sexual tension, sexual innuendos, kissing, FLUFF!!

Word Count: 2,142

A/N: Hello Lovely! I decided to go with Anakin because I immediately imagined this much more Anakin... but possibly there might be a Kenobi one similar in the future? Anyways, I really really hope you enjoy this because I truly love this one so much. Thank you so so much for your request and your support. Feedback is always welcome and encouraged. Enjoy my lovely fox anon and everyone else!

Summary: When you get bored and decide to paint on Anakin's back it quickly leads to much more than you ever intended.

(gif not mine!)

You couldn't even begin to explain how many times a week you would find yourself walking to Anakin's room to hang out together. You often found yourself feeling like you annoyed the slightly older boy. You were always going to him for advice and company, despite knowing that he was often struggling with his problems. Anakin would always disagree, promising that he loved your presence, and if you didn't seek him out, he would seek you out, but you felt he was just trying to be nice. Regardless, however, your bond to the boy is what often leads to you being in your current position.

You lay beside Anakin, both of you talking about random things until you fell into periods of peaceful silence, "Ani?" The boy hummed in response, his head turning towards you, "Can I paint on you?"

Anakin let out a laugh, smiling widely at you, "Where?"

"I dunno..." You paused, blush creeping onto your cheeks before quickly fading, "Your back or something? Take off your shirt. I'll find somewhere to paint."

Anakin smiled, nodding his head and sitting up. He watched as you walked across his room, moving to grab the painting supplies you always kept at his apartment for when you got bored. Ani, being his typical self, pulled his shirt off his body and tossed it to the side of his room, "I'm all yours, little one."

You froze instantly, your entire face breaking out into a blush from Anakin's word choice. Part of you was warm from the sweet nickname he always called you due to your short height, and another part of you warmed at the dirty implication your mind immediately sought out from Anakin's word choice. Anakin, who hadn't thought twice about his words, tilted his head while looking at your rigid form. It wasn't until you turned around, still blushing, that his words clicked, and his eyes widened.

"Oh no! No! I didn't mean... like... I... crap!" Anakin stuttered over his words, his cheeks tinting pink for once.

You shook your head, trying to ignore the want to shrink into the shadows and hide, "It's fine, just lay on the bed, Ani."

"Yes, ma'am," Anakin replied with a salute before flipping to lay on his stomach.

Doing your best to ignore Anakin's half-naked body, you spread out all your art supplies, different brushes, and multiple different shades of paint, as well as a palette for you to mix colors. Finally glancing up at Anakin, you realized he'd been watching you the entire time and was most likely catching on to the fact you were trying to avoid his bare torso. Jedi-senses... psh.

Slowly, you got onto the bed and straddled Anakin's back. After all, you had to paint somehow. You let out a breath of air as you made yourself comfortable by quite literally sitting on his butt. Anakin held his breath as he resisted the urge to groan at the way you wiggled about on top of him. He let out a deep breath when you finally stopped moving, hoping that you wouldn't notice the effect you had on him. Despite being best friends, you were still shy around him, and the last thing he wanted was for you to get even shyer because of all his pent-up sexual tension.

"Comfortable?" Anakin asked in a playful tone, most definitely referring to the way you'd been wiggling around.

Once again, you felt your cheeks heating, "Yea, you?"

Anakin nodded, bringing his arms up to create a pillow for his head, "So what're you gonna paint?"

"That's a surprise, Ani," you smiled, beginning to mix the colors.

Anakin took in a quick gasp of breath as you did the first stroke of paint on his back. Tensing and contracting in their own beautiful masterpiece his muscles left you awestruck for the briefest second as the paint spread across his shoulders. What canvas was better than one of the Maker's finest works of art?

You quickly shook your head, pulling your mind back from the dark abyss it'd started to wander in. Wondering what his muscles would look like from above you, contracting and tensing for different reasons, and... dammit, focus on the painting (y/n).

"Sorry," You mumbled, stroking more paint along the Jedi Knight's back.

"How'd you discovered painting anyways?" Anakin questioned.

You smiled softly, "There was a man from Yavin 4 who would paint every morning by the river in front of my house. I would always watch him from our window. He wasn't there one day, so I went looking for him. Turned out, he had just moved downstream to paint that day, and well... he offered to teach me."

"Stranger danger, little one," Anakin chuckled, making you laugh along.

Shaking your head as you continued painting Anakin's back, you unconscious placed one of your hands on his hip, "Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet."

"Hey!" Anakin snapped playfully, "I'm supposed to be the wise Jedi. Keep talking like that, and you're gonna steal my job."

You rolled your eyes at the boy's behavior, listening carefully, as he recalled the time Watto had Anakin chase off an artist who'd been vandalizing their shop. Anakin always had some crazy story of some ridiculous, reckless thing he'd done but realized quickly it was one of the many traits that made you fall in love with him. Anakin was your entire galaxy, whether he knew that or not. He inspired you endlessly and consistently helped you with your insecurities and your shyness. He's what inspired your painting right now. Anakin was always in your mind because that was just the way he was.

The two of you continued how you normally would, talking and recalling memories until a comfortable silence fell. The only difference from your normal routine was that you were painting Anakin's back instead of lying beside him. Yet, as you sat on top of Anakin and he allowed the relaxing strokes of your paintbrush to calm him, Anakin couldn't help but find himself thinking how this would be a nice normal.

"Remember that time when Rex and I kissed because he lost a bet to Fives?" You asked as you began dotting Anakin's back.

"Yes! I was just going to bring that up!" Anakin laughed, "Obi-Wan got so mad!"

"Only because you openly shouted at Rex to get off 'your girl'," You defended Obi-Wan playfully, "Had a council member been in the bar, you could've been kicked from the Jedi for saying something like that!"

"Well, it's true! Rex shouldn't have been all over you!" Anakin huffed, "You lose a bet you give a quick peck! You don't go straight to tongue during a first kiss! You were so flustered I was ready to fight Rex."

"I was flustered because of you, not Rex!" You laughed, admiring the painting on Anakin's back as you added finishing touches, "I thought you were saying you liked me back, but then you explained how I was yours because we're best friends."

"Liked you back?" Anakin questioned, raising his eyebrows, "As in you like me?"

Panic filled your body as your heart dropped. No, no, you didn't say that, did you? "I uh, well yea, as... friends. Y'know, like you as a friend... and..."

You scrambled off of Anakin and off the bed, dropping all your paint supplies in the process. Anakin seemed beyond surprised, and that only made you panic further. You were failing miserably at taking back your words, and Anakin clearly wasn't buying into anything you were saying. Your cheeks flushed red as you looked down, entirely embarrassed by your unintentional confession.

Anakin, however, noticed your immediate panic and was quick to sit up. He spun around, quickly grasping onto your hands to prevent you from walking away from him any further. Your head quickly snapped up to Anakin's sitting form as you gently pull on your hands, tears rising in your eyes as you realize the predicament you've put yourself in. The exact predicament that you so desperately wanted to get out of.

With no intentions of letting you get away, Anakin tugged on your hands, pulling you to stand between his legs, your chest almost flush against his bare one. Without wasting another second he reaches up, one hand sliding behind your neck while the other cups your cheek. Time froze as Anakin pulls you down until finally, his soft lips collide with yours.

The world around you fades, leaving you and Anakin as he shows all of his emotions through the kiss. He's soft and gentle, nothing like Rex was on that drunken night in the bar. Anakin's lips mold with yours, sealing in a silent promise of forever, a promise that you were meant to be, and he'd fight the entire galaxy if it meant he could stay with you. His lips are warm and inviting, each kiss leaving you incredibly satisfied yet also begging for more. Most importantly, though, Anakin kept true to his words; you don't go straight to tongue during a first kiss.

Slowly, you both separated. Your eyes fluttered open as the world reappeared around you. The bright lights of busy Coruscant, animals moving lively outside in the night, and the streets sounded full of people below. The sounds of life were flooding your ears as you realized that your life was barely beginning.

"I like you too (y/n). I have, for a long time, I've just been too dumb to say it sooner. You have no idea how incredibly happy it makes me knowing you like me back," Anakin smiled up at you, "I absolutely adore you. I adore how you always want to paint, and I adore how shy you are. I love how I can always make you blush and your personality."

Your cheeks were flaming as you stared down at Anakin, your eyes still filled with tears as a smile grew on your face. Anakin's smile only grew at the sight of you smiling, and you knew at that moment that there was nobody you would rather be with.

Anakin shook his head, his eyes incredibly serious as he spoke, "I know I probably overstepped some boundaries and pushed you by kissing you just now, but I couldn't resist anymore. I know my outgoing personality is the opposite of yours... but I promise I'll do everything I can to support you... take care of you, protect you, and love you. Give me the chance, and I promise to never make you regret it. I adore you (y/n). And I promise to adore you until my last breath."

"Stop it," You laughed as tears rolled down your cheeks, "You're making me cry!"

Anakin laughed softly, pulling you to sit on his lap, "Sorry, I've been holding that in for a long time."

You nodded, admiring Ani's face before laying your head against his chest. Barely a second later, he'd placed his head on top of yours, and you wondered how many times he'd thought of doing that, "I adore you too, Ani."

"Are you saying you'll do it? You'll go out with me?"

You nodded your head, and immediately Anakin let out a whoop, making you laugh, "Finally!"

Anakin joined in laughing with you. Quickly standing, he opted to spin you around. Squeals fell from your mouth as you normally would when Anakin would twirl you, yet this time you could truly see the way he was looking at you. All the adoration and love filling his eyes made you realize how long you'd both been waiting for this.

Slowly, Anakin sat you down and kissed the top of your head, "So, do I get to see the painting now, little one?"

Anxiously, your eyes widened before you nodded, moving to grab a hand mirror as Anakin walked over and turned so that his back faced the mirror on the wall. Slowly you passed him the hand mirror and watched Anakin's reaction intently. His face morphed into a beautiful combination of shock and amazement as he looked at the beautiful painting of the galaxy you'd done on his back.

"Wow... (y/n)... I... it's beautiful," He smiled, his eyes trying to absorb every detail of the blues, purples, and pinks you'd done on his back.

"I guess you sort of inspired it," You smiled, looking down at your socks as you tried to fight off a blush.

"Are you implying I'm your galaxy?" Anakin smiled teasingly before placing the mirror down on his dresser and walking up to you.

You smiled at the feeling of Anakin resting his chin on top of your head, and you gently nodded, "Yeah... I am. You're my galaxy, Ani."

Anakin's heart swelled at your words, warmth flowering out within his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, "You're my galaxy too, little one."

Taglist: @nowthisisdark

(I do NOT take any credit for this photo! This is what I imagined you painting on Anakin's back)

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batwhimpix · 3 years

Text

An Interview with Former Takarazuka Top Star Asumi Rio: The Laidback Personality Behind the Handsome Face

(Translated by me 8/19/2021)

While still a member of the Takarazuka Revue, Asumi Rio was known for her sensitive acting which digs deep into the heart of each role, her crystal-clear vocals, and her captivating stage presence. As the top star of Flower Troupe, she gained an immense level of popularity. Now, it has been one year since her retirement from the company. She has expanded her repertoire from stage to screen, and continues to showcase new sides to her talent. In her first name-bearing variety program, the Hulu Original "Asumi Rio's Atelier," Asumi-san learns new tips and techniques to "step up" both her lifestyle and her design sense. Totally different from her intense onstage aura, this program offers a chance to get to know Asumi-san's soft and relaxed offstage persona.

It's been a year and a half since you left the Takarazuka Revue. How would you describe that period of time for you, Asumi-san?

When I was in the Revue, because I had managed to enter the world of Takarazuka, which was my absolute favorite place, I felt strongly that I didn't want to have any regrets. So I was very motivated to work as hard as I could to polish my craft. I was completely lost in it, but within that, I always had my fans cheering me on, and the guidance of so many around me. In the last year and a half, I've realized all over again just how precious a thing that was.

Until I left, my only experience was on the stage, so stepping into the world on screen for the first time, a lot of totally new forms of expression were expected from me, and I felt a lot of anxiety. Parting from Takarazuka and living as just one individual human, every day is full of challenges. But that said, every day now is also rich with new experiences and new possibilities, so I've come to face that with a lot of gratitude.

While you were in Takarazuka, there was a very clear image, that of a perfect "otokoyaku," to aspire to. Now that you don't have that anymore, what kind of actress are you aiming to become?

There are a lot of qualities I have now precisely because I was an otokoyaku, and I think it's probably okay for me to just embrace that. As top [abbrev. "top star", the starring otokoyaku actress in each troupe], I was in a position where I had to lead the troupe, watch over and guide all the other actresses, and shape each production as the lead actress. I think I've picked up a lot of grit through that experience, and even as a woman, I think having a bit of a masculine edge in your lifestyle and how you deal with things can be a positive, right?

Even when I was playing otokoyaku roles, moreso than aiming for a particular ideal, I came at each role separately, like, this time I'm playing this kind of man, next time I'm playing this kind of man. It was like a gradual broadening of my horizons. Now I'm simply adding female roles to that roster, so it's kind of like the scope of roles available to me has doubled. When it comes to my outward appearance, as my hair grows out and I transition toward a more feminine look, I've been having all kinds of new discoveries, like, "Oh, this kind of styling makes me feel like this." Within my drama roles as well, I like those discoveries like, if I do it like this, won't it be interesting, or if I do this, I can get viewers to say, "Oh!" I want to keep digging to find those little moments where I can really surprise people within each role.

Since your retirement from Takarazuka, what overall on-set experience sticks out the most in your memory?

I think that has to be the first show I had the opportunity to take part in, "Ochoyan" [NHK serialized telenovella]. Until I was on that set, I always thought that the stage was the most incredible place in the world. I would never find anywhere else where every member is so unified in their vision, where everyone has so much pride in their troupe and so much love for the production they're building together, as in Takarazuka. Even now, I still think Takarazuka is a very special place, and my love for it hasn't changed.

But on the set of "Ochoyan," like Takarazuka, there were so many staff working to create this thing, who truly loved the work and brought all kinds of skills to the table to bring it to life. Among the cast as well, the atmosphere during recording, where all of us in the Tsurugame Family Theater [the name of the theater company employing main character Takei Chiyo as well as Asumi-san's character Takamine Ruriko] really did feel like a family, wasn't that different from Takarazuka at all. On the contrary, because our time together was limited just to the recording of this show, it felt like everyone valued that time all the more. Being on a set like that was a huge experience for me.

In Takarazuka, you had a very hectic schedule. As soon as one production closed you were already thinking about the next. I'm sure your lifestyle has changed in a big way since then. What kind of feelings do you have about that?

I retired and moved here to Tokyo right around the start of the pandemic. During the lockdown, when I was in my house all day, I realized how long the day really is. Suddenly it was up to me to decide how to spend all this time in the day. I could use it to rest or, if I had some area I was struggling with, I could use it for training too. I had a renewed realization that depending on my own feelings, I could choose to change myself in any number of ways.

These days, how do you find yourself spending the majority of your time?

These days, I'm doing a lot of types of work I'm totally new to, and working on sets with people I've only just met, so I'm still in a place where I spend a lot of time nervous. When I'm on a set I haven't gotten used to yet, my antenna is going in all different directions, so after I get home I try to relax as much as possible. In order to fully refresh myself and go into work the next day in high spirits and ready to face whatever comes, I've been making a conscious effort to be kind to myself.

What activities allow you to refresh your batteries the most?

Zoning out, and eating delicious food.

On "Asumi Rio's Atelier," you gave steaming rice in a donabe [TN: earthenware pot traditionally used to steam rice, supposedly more delicious than steaming in a rice cooker] a try for the first time, but what kinds of things do you eat most often?

As long as it tastes good, I'll happily eat anything. I like vegetables, meat, fish, and I love carbs, too. Ideally, I want to eat a good balance of a lot of different things.

Speaking of that program, how were the topics for each episode decided? Were you able to make requests?

For "Atelier" we had the general framework that I would be trying different activities I was interested in from the onset, so basically they asked me, "What kind of things are you interested in? What do you want to try?" And then...Yeah, first I had about 30, then we added about 30 more, so in total about 60, ideas that we pitched. The program staff wanted to include as many of my requests as they could, so actually, within each episode there are probably three or four different ones. In addition to that, there's an interview in each episode that relates back to that episode's theme. I enjoyed the chance to reflect on my Takarazuka era and memories from my childhood.

On the topic of your Takarazuka era, in your first interview for us, you said, "I wasn't necessarily aiming to become top star." But within the system of Takarazuka, to climb all the way to top star, you must have been aware of something within yourself that made you want to aim higher?

Let's see...Ever since I was an underclassman, I had a strong drive to improve as an otokoyaku. I wanted people to find my performance interesting, and I wanted to be seen as a necessary part of the production. I wanted to act a lot, and I wanted to sing a lot of songs that I love. I wanted to bathe in the spotlight, and I was happy when I got to wear more gorgeous costumes. If I really think back on those feelings now, first in the shinjinkouen junior performances featuring only actresses who have been with the company seven years or less, and then in performances at the smaller Bow Hall theater next to the Takarazuka Grand Theater, inevitably I started aiming for the lead roles that would allow me to stand on stage for the longest every time.

Somewhere along that road, when I was told I was being transferred from the troupe I was first inducted into, Moon Troupe, to Flower Troupe, this feeling that I had wanted to be the Moon Troupe's successor welled to the surface. And since that's the same as saying, "I wanted to be the top star of Moon Troupe," that was the first time I became aware of that goal. Every troupe in Takarazuka has its own character, though, so after my transfer, I was desperate to hurry up and become an otokoyaku befitting Flower Troupe first...

So as you worked to further your artistic development, there at the zenith was top star.

If you were to ask my underclassman self, the Top-sans are unbelievably incredible performers, and the more shinjinkouens you experience, the more closely you come to understanding just how incredible they are. Then as you spend more years with the company and find yourself in a position where you're working directly under the Top-san, you realize how much work they're really doing, and...The more you know, the more you lose the ability to say something like "I want to be the top star" carelessly.

And yet, you bore the heavy responsibility of a top star for five-and-a-half years. It's hard to imagine from your usual laidback attitude, but when it comes to your art, you're incredibly diligent and strong-willed. That gap is captivating.

When it comes to theater, I'm very picky. I mean, I'm way too stubborn for one thing. Especially in productions where I'm playing the lead role, I always have really strong feelings about how I want to perform things, and I'm not in a position where I can hesitate to convey that. It's important to listen to the opinions of various other people too, but when it comes down to it, if I have a clear idea of the direction I want things to proceed and direct things with that in mind, it makes things easier for everyone else, so I always tried to communicate my thoughts clearly and directly. If I'm delivering consistently good work, there's a persuasive power to that. Not only do the underclassmen naturally follow along, but the staff listen and respond to my requests as well.

But when you're making this kind of production, you do have to be pretty strict. But then, the real me is more of a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, or more like, I don't want to be disliked. I didn't want the younger underclassmen to feel like I was unapproachable or like they couldn't talk to me because I was the top star. I wanted them to think of me like family. So outside matters relating to work, I tried to give off as relaxed a vibe as possible. Definitely, I think there was quite a gap between "on" and "off" for me.

Are there a lot of differences between "Asumi Rio the otokoyaku" and "Asumi Rio the actress?" How about between your stage name persona and your private self under your birth name?

I've lived under my stage name for so much longer than my birth name that I feel like, at this point, the parts of myself that belong to my real name are few and far between. I do have the feeling that, in some respect, I've grown up together with my stage name. In essence, while I was in Takarazuka, I didn't worry too much about creating a separate persona. Thanks to the kindness of my fans and the environment I was in, I felt like I could leave my otokoyaku persona on the stage and stay pretty close to my natural self everywhere else. I guess the only thing is, when I'm alone in my house, I revert to goblin mode. (laughs wryly) Like I'll have trouble getting myself to go take a bath, or I really should clean but my back hurts, etc., etc.

By contrast, now that I've graduated from being an otokoyaku, a lot of the things I'm doing as an actress are total firsts for me, so I think I feel more discomfort with my presentation now than I did then. There are times when I get really nervous, and then I get disappointed in myself for feeling that way. Like, until just a little while ago, I was in a position where I was responsible for keeping everyone's morale up. I would get up on that stage like, "It's alright, just leave it to me," so what am I all anxious for now? I often think about how much I still have to learn, and how badly I want to hurry up and learn it so I can show the results of my efforts.

Is there a particular ideal you're currently pursuing? What kind of actress do you want to become, and what kind of woman?

Since leaving Takarazuka, I've had a lot more opportunity to meet all kinds of new people. On every set I've been on, each of the actresses I meet has their own unique aura, and seeing their acting up close, I'm blown away by each of them. Among the staff as well, there are so many different kinds of professionals of all ages, and I often find myself inspired by their work ethic and lifestyle. I'd like to continue to enrich my life by learning from the amazing people I meet and experiencing many new things, and work to become a more fully rounded human being.

*Bracketed notes not marked "TN" (Translator's Note) were present in the original article.

#mirio #asumi rio #takarazuka og #takarazuka #this interview is super detailed so i've been wanting to translate it for a while #she's such a stubborn person but i kind of admire that about her??#must have been hell to work with at times tho #but such a calming presence offstage lol #hanagumi #tkz #og #mytranslations

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gayaristocrat · 3 years

Text

I Got Everything I wanted...

Episode 1: Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience...

Pairing: Vision x Male Reader

Taglist: N/A

‼️Authors Note‼️: I'm finally at a point where I can write this story. I know that It is long overdue, so I hope this can make up for it. This story is going to be breaking the 4th wall a lot since they tend to do that in the actual show. Also, please let me know in my Inbox/Askbox if you would like to be tagged every time I upload a story to this series. While reading this, you may realize that it seems rushed, and that's because it was. I wanted to put this out as soon as I possibly could. Also since you guys voted that I just divide it up into parts for you to read. I will be uploading part 2 whenever I am able to.

Summary: (Male Name) and Vision struggle to conceal their powers during dinner with Vision's boss and his wife

Time Period: 1956 (So everything in this chapter is going to be colorless and in black and white)

Word count: 4k+

Word Key:

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Have you ever dreamed of living the life you always wanted? Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where you would do anything to get it. Have you ever dreamed of something so bad to the point where all of your care for others went out the window? Have you ever dreamed of wanting something so bad to the point where you would stop anyone who gets in your way.

"(Male Name), I love you so much. Please don't do this, cant you see that everyone is hurting, that everyone is in so much pain?"

"I'm sorry Vision, but I can't. I can't loose you...not again. I never meant for things to be this way, but now I can't go back. Not without you"

---REWIND MANY EPISODES BACK---

For a second, everything is black. The TV clicks on and a burst of grey static illuminates the screen. Everything is black and white, not a single drop of color is in the area. A happily little tune starts playing as a colorless 1956 Buick Special drives up a tiny hill and back down past a sign which says 'Speed Limit 35'. The camera angle changes to the back of the car, showing a banner above the license plate, 'Just Married'. Next, the camera cuts to us, (Male Name) and Vision, newlywed husbands.

It finally happened, we finally got married! Both of us turn take a quick look and smile at each other with nothing but love and glee, it seemed like nothing could go wrong in this moment.

🎵Oh~

A newlywed couple just moved into town,

A regular husband and husband,🎵

Vision turns his head back to the road and continues driving until we turn down a happy little neighborhood. Each house on the street has a pattern of different color greys with black roofs, their yards decorated with equally bland colorless flowers and grass. Children playing outside, and adults chatting with one another while they tend to their gardens, or while walking their dogs. Everyone is just so cheery and happy, even the mailman waves at us as we pass him. Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, perfect.

🎵Who left the big city,

To find a quiet life,

(Male Name)Vision!🎵

Vision drives into the driveway of our new home. We quickly hop out of the car and approach the house, but before we walk in I take notice of the 'For Sale' sign still in the yard. I quickly flick my hand and use my magic to change the sign to 'Sold'. After that I dust my hands off with a proud smile on my face as Vision scoops me in his arms bridal style, opens the front door, and carries me inside. I flick my wrist again and the front door closes and locks as we both move to the Livingroom of our already decorated 2 story home.

🎵He's a magical boy,

In a small town locale

And a hubby who's part machine,

How will this duo fit in and pull through?🎵

Once Vision puts me back on my feet, we start swaying with the jingle playing in the background while title cards pop up of written words that I don't care to read right now since I'm too busy enjoying this happy moment with my new husband. Vision then gives me a little twirl before wrapping his arms around my waist as we both dip into a loving heartfelt kiss.

🎵Oh, by sharing a love,

Like you've never seen

(Male Name)Vision!🎵

---SCENE CHANGE---

The scene suddenly changes as the lights flick on and cameras start rolling. You start the scene off by walking into the kitchen and start making your way to one of the grey drawers next to the oven and you grab one of your favorite aprons. Humming a little tune, you wrap the white cloth around your waist and start observing the kitchen to see what needs to be picked up or cleaned. Deciding to work on putting up the dishes, you raise your hand and the newly cleaned plates start levitating off of the counters and float off to the display racks, you then raise your other hand and a dark colored dish cloth floats out of the cabinet and it begins drying a glass cup. You then turn your back to the cup to observe if it had been cleaned good enough, suddenly you jump as a loud crash echoes through out the kitchen. Turn to see what the problem is, you only to find Vision looking up from today's news paper and glances at the shattered plate at the ground while a laughing crown erupts out of nowhere.

"My husband and his flying saucers" He says in his thick English accent (or is it British🤔), with a joking tone.

"My husband and his indestructible head" I reply back in the same tone as another laugh erupts from the crowd.

He then folds his newspaper and walked over to your direction, giving you a kiss on the cheek when he arrived, causing you to chuckle while twirling your finger, making the plate form back to it's original round shape before it floats off to it's designated spot.

"Vision, honey, what do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squeezed orang juice and black coffee?" You say while walking over to the refrigerator, opening it and bending down, getting ready to grab out everything needed to make the meal for him.

"I'd say 'Oh, I don't eat food' " He says smiling at me, while the crown laughs again.

You look inside the fridge and hum to yourself in surprise while putting all the pieces together in your head before saying "Well, that explains the empty refrigerator then"

"(Male Name), my darling. Is there something special about today?"

"Well, I know the apron is a bit much dear, but I'm doing my best to blend in and have the 'Perfect House Husband' look." You say walking to meet him, assuming he's talking about the apron.

"No no, you don't have to try, you already are the perfect house husband." He says as he lightly grabs your chin with his pointer finger and thumb and lightly giving you a 'boop' on the nose. "But I was referring to the calendar. Someone's drawn a heart right above today's date." You then looked at him as you cluelessly try to figure out what he's talking about, so he puts his hands on your shoulders and turns you around to face the calendar behind you and he rests his chin on your head as you both look at the heart.

Trying to act like you know what day it is, you say "Well...d..dont tell me you've forgotten Vis?"

"Oh silly (y/n), I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm even incapable of exaggeration" He rambles boastfully.

"Hmm, well then if that's true, then maybe you can tell me what's so important about today's date"

He pauses for a second and thinks before he blows a slow puff of air out of his mouth, then deciding on saying "Uhhh...what was the question again? Oh well, no matter, perhaps you've forgotten yourself"

"Me? Heavens, no, haha. I've been so looking forward to it."

You both have actually been looking forward to day. Today you are celebrating...The first time you...uhhh...have ever celebrated this occasion before. It's a special day indeed, perhaps an evening?...of great significance?...to you both, naturally.. obviously...exactly! Well done for the both of you.

You two ramble on for a few more minutes trying to drill the other into spilling on what was so special about today, but you two couldn't since you were both obviously unknowing about it, then Vision remembered something.

"Well, sorry darling, that's me off to work, then." Vison says fixing his grey suit jacket and grabbing his suitcase walking to the front door. You quickly grab his hat hanging on the coat rack and place it on his head, fixing it to make it look straight.

"Also don't forget-"

"(Male Name), my dear how many times do I have to tell you I don't forg- oh you mean my face right?"

You nod letting him know that was what you were getting at. The audience laughs again as he quickly shakes his head and his face and hands transform from cold metal to warm flesh. Vision then puts his palm to his face and pretends to blow you a kiss, while you play along and pretend to catch it and put it over your heart.

Once he leaves out the door, you lock it a return to the kitchen, and make your way to the calendar, chewing on your polished nails (if you don't want nail polish then skip that part) as you try to remember the symbolism of the heart. Not even a second later your thoughts get interrupted as a loud knock at the door startles you back to 'reality'.

Going to go see who it is, you push the door that separates the living room and the kitchen, closer to the knocking. You quickly open the door and see a woman with a dark plaid dress and a styled black hairdo holding a grey plant in a white pot.

"Oh hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. My right, not yours" She says in a sing-song tone as she uninvitedly makes her way into the house. The eruption of cackles echo as you look at her in confusion as to why she decided to step inside, but decided to keep a calm attitude and not say anything about it.

"Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town...so I wasn't!" she says laughing with the audience once more as her dress sways with her movements. She rushes the potted plant into your arms and you smile and take it as she makes her way into the living room to continue her snooping. "So what's your name? Where are you from? And most importantly how's your bridge game, hon?" She says not loosing a single breath, and of course not giving you time to answer in between questions.

"Umm...Well I'm (Male Name)" You say reaching your hand out to shake hers

"(Male Name)? Charmed!" She joyfully says and returns the gesture.

"Golly, you sure do settle fast! Yes sir you did indeed! Did you use a moving company?"

"Why I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves." The audience laughs as your inside joke, because let's be honest, the boxes did move themselves since you used your magic to decorate everything. (Damn (Male Name), you really are a powerful sum' bitch)

'"So (Male Name), what's a single boy like you doing rattling around this big house?" She says siting on the couch.

You laugh to yourself and dreamily look at the finger your ring should be on that Vision gave you to claim you as his, (He liked it so he put a ring on it.....sorry...anyways) but paused as it wasn't there. That's not right, because you could have sworn that it was there when you created this rea-

"Oh no, I'm not single I-"

"Well I don't see a ring

"Well I can promise you, I am indeed married...To a man. A human one and tall too! A a matter of fact, he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion just the two of us." You say putting emphasis on 'occasion' with a wink.

"Oh is it somebody's birthday? A holiday?" Agnes questions bouncing up and down in the couch with her legs crossed like a 'proper lady'.

"Well, no and no"

"An anniversary then?"

"Ye-uhh...yes, Its our anniversary!" You shout, finally able to remember what that heart meant.

Agnes waves you over to come sit on the couch with her and you obey, sitting down she grabs and rests both sets of you two's clasped hands on your apron.

"Sooo...tell me, how many years" She asks letting out a little squeal.

"Well..uhhh..it...it uh feels like we've always been together"

"You lucky man-" She shakes her head remembering about her own husband "-the only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer names June 2nd." She chuckles as the audience laughs from nowhere again. "So what do you have planned?"

"How do you mean?" You questioned her. I mean you never really did have time to come up with anything since you just realized, or assumed, what today was.

"For your special night, (Male Name)! A young boy like yourself doesn't have to do much, but it's still fun to set the scene. Say-" she says standing up to slowly make her way to the door "-I was just reading a crackerjack magazine article called 'How To Treat Your Husband To Keep Your Husband', and let me tell you somethin'...what Ralph could really use is, 'How to Goose Your Wife So You Don't Loose Your Your Wife'. She kidd's as her and the audience laugh. You look at her and shake your head trying to hold back your own laughter. "Hang on, I'll go grab it and we can start planning. Oh, this is gonna be a gas!" She shouts running to the door so she can leave and run to her house.

-----Time Skip---

Both Agnes and you are back on the couch, looking through her magazines trying to find ideas for the anniversary dinner you planned for you and Vision to share, when out of nowhere, the phone started ringing interrupting you two. You got up and rushed over to it hoping you don't miss the unknown caller, you pick it up and put it to your ear and then start talking.

"Vision residence how may I help you"

"(Male Name), darling I-"

"Vision, my dearest husband. How are you sweetheart?" You say cutting him off from his obviously panicked and frantic voice. I mean come on, you are just excited to hear your husband's voice after a hours of him being gone.

"Listen about tonight-"

You cut him off again, already knowing that he was going to talk about the anniversary. "Don't worry, dear, I have everything under complete control"

"Oh, well, that is a relief. I must confess, I'm really rather nervous" He says over the phone.

"Nervous? Whatever for?" You question.

"Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied."

The audience coo's and aww's at how a dust of grey creeps up on your (dark grey/grey) cheeks. "Vis, after all this time..." you giggle out.

"There's a lot riding on this (Male Name)! If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end.

'Wait what' you think to yourself

"Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic." You say in a worried tone as you grasp your now queasy stomach.

Vision's tone begins to get more serious as the conversation continues in his attempt to express how important this is to you. "Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife."

"Well, first, I think you mean husband. And secondly I also think the best course of action is to impress the other husband too." You look over and give Agnes a thumbs up and a wink in her direction, and she does the same while sipping her martini.

"Glad to know we're both on the same page, love. Until tonight, then, my sweet little husband" Vision says making two smooching noises through the phone to you.

"Until tonight...my robotic husband" You return, whispering the last part so Agnes doesn't hear you. She couldn't hear you anyways, being too busy sipping her drink and flipping through the pages. You finally gently put the phone on the hook and return to the couch.

---Time Skip, Later Tonight---

Before Vision made it home, you set the big dining table that was next to the living room and tossed colorless silk scarfs on all of the laps in the room to set the mood and made your way to the bedroom to get dressed to surprise him for when he gets home. When you heard the door open and heard his voice, you tip toed your way out of the bedroom and into the living room, dressed a long fluffy white lingerie robe with white fur that wrapped around the arms of it which was trailing behind you, exposing both of your (dark grey/grey) legs. You then went all the way to Vision's black silhouette and gently wrapped your hands around his eyes, causing him to jump form the sudden contact.

The audience laughed again as they know your mistake. 'Where the hell is that laughing coming from, and whey is it happening right now of all times?' you thought to yourself in confusion.

"Guess who~" you seductively whispered to your husbands.

Suddenly the lights turn on and you hear Vision's voice that was filled with a mix of shock, embarrassment, and irritation at your recklessness. "(MALE NAME) WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

You gasp and look in his direction. "Vision? What are you-" then it hit's you, if Vision is right there, then who's-

"Oh! Oh my stars, I'm so sorry!" You say to the man you mistook for your husband. You quickly uncover his eyes and stumble away from him as he stares at you in shock. Then you look down at your attire and try to cover your exposed leg as much as possible.

"What is the meaning of this!" The bald headed mad says appalled, as his wife stands behind him looking around cluelessly.

Vision interrupts with his stammering voice just as confused as everyone else. "Well..uh yeah (Male Name) what is the meaning of-" Suddenly it hits him and he tries to comes up with an excuse off the top of his head. "-Oh, the meaning of it! You want to know the meaning of it...and...the meaning of it is...that this is the tradition of (Random Foreign Country/Continent) greeting of hospitality. Uhh...guess who???" Vision says as he runs behind you and overs your eyes.

"Oh is that my host being me?" You say playing along.

"It certainly is, darling. Lovely to make your acquaintance" Vision says vigorously shaking your hand. "See i forgot to tell you my husband is from (Random Foreign Country/Continent)" he giggles along with the audience.

"Oh, how exotic!" The man's wife cheerfully laughs.

"I never knew such a place as that existed" He says in a dark yet serious tone.

"Oh hush Author, have you no culture. Oh and the robe, I absolutely love it!" His wife replies trying to lighten up the awkward mood.

"Thank you so much ma'am-" you march through the living room and snatch off the silk scarves from all the lamps and tightly grab Vision's hand. "-Can I just see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart?"

You both then slam your way through the kitchen door and it swings closed behind you, leaving Vision's boss and his wife behind as they sit down on the couch and patiently (more like impatiently on Arthur's end) wait for your return. You then turn around and look at each other before throwing questions.

"Who are those people?!"

"What are you wearing!?"

"Why are they here?"

"What are you wearing!?" Vision questions again boldly

"Well, it's out anniversary, that's why I'm wearing this!"

"Our anniversary of what?" Vison says, desperate to know what the hell you were talking about. Eventually you had enough of these shenanigan's and throw the scarves down at his feet stomping your way to the kitchen chairs. "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!" you exaggerate, crossing your arms and pouting like a child

"(Male Name), darling! That...that man through there is my boss Mr. Hart! And his dear lady wife Mrs. Hart! The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation!" Vision whispers, roughly tapping his hand on the black heart drawn on the dull colored calendar.

You grab your head and shake it trying to put everything together. "Vision sweetie, you move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. Who. Needs. To. Abbreviate!?"

Vision grabs both of your shoulders in an attempt to collect his thoughts and calm you down. "Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, that stunning outfit. I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now-"

"Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal. Correct?" Vision nods his head while muttering 'exactly' while look around the kitchen in order to find somethin to serve to the unwarned visitation of guests. After looking around for a but, your eyes land on the mini round table that held a plate and food on it. "Well, does your boss and his wife have a hunger for a single chocolate-covered strawberry, split three ways?" Vision hisses while clenching his fists and shaking his head no.

"Oh wait, I might have better ideas" Without hesitation you raise both of your sands and snap your fingers, magically changing your outfit to the one you were wearing earlier that day, a pair of dark high waisted cuffed slacks and a white blouse to match (you can change if you don't like), and the audience claps in astonishment at your transformation whilst you tie your apron in a bow behind your back. Vision gives you a quick peck on the cheek and runs back to the living room to keep others company while you figure out what to serve everyone.

---Time Skip---

After minutes of looking, you couldn't find anything in the kitchen, and the refrigerator was empty, so you decided to call your good neighbor Agnes to see if she could pick up some things from the store and bring it over. A couple of minutes pass and you finally hear a familiar knock on the back door in the kitchen. As soon as you open it Agnes rushes through with her hands full of groceries stacked to her chin as she stumbles through the kitchen. Before you could even mutter out a 'thank you' she stops you dead in your tracks and puts all the food down on the table. "Before you can say anything don't think about it. I mean, what kind of housewife would I be if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four just lying about the place. Not that Ralph wants to eat anything other than baked beans, which explains a lot about his personal appeal, mind you." The audience laughs one more at her silly humor as you quickly render to her aid to grab some of the groceries before they could fall. Unfortunately, it seems like the Universe was not on your side since the large cooking pot crashed and hit the ground, echoing throughout the kitchen, while Agnes yelled out an overexaggerated 'oh my'.

You had to get rid of Agnes and as quickly as you can, so you decided to just push her out the back door despite her protests to help you cook. "Thank you so much Agnes but I can take it from here-"

"Are you sure dear, many hands make light work. And many mouths make good gossip too!"

"Oh ahahaha, you are so naughty! But-"

"Oh, shall I preheat the oven then? hmm?"

"That won't be necessary, thank you for your time!"

Somehow she managed to escape your grasp on her waist and make her way back to the counter to crab some kitchen tools to start cooking for you. "Well, I know you're in a pinch so this menu can be done in a snap." She says snapping her fingers before continuing her rambling. you run back over to her and snatch the utensils from her, setting them on the counter, and grabbing her arms to march her back to the door. "Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced turnovers to start. Chicken �� la King with twice-cooked new potatoes for your second course, and Steak Diane with mint jellies for your main. Oh wait! Do you set your own jellies, dear?"

"Yes Agnes I do, now can you please-"

"Ah there you go, good boy! Recipe cards are all on the counter there. Bon Appétit!"

"Haha, yes will do, thank you so much again Agnes! Bye now!" You say slamming the door, making the audience laugh at your exhausted expression. Now that she's gone, you run to the middle of the kitchen and throw your arms around, making all of the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen fly open, the dishes start floating out, and the food starts cooking. Out of no where the doors to the island bar swoop open to show Mrs. Hart, but before she could see Vision distracts her by breaking out and singing Yackety Yack by The Coasters, causing her to break out into a little dance, making her way back to the couch. Dear gods and goddess', how lucky are you to have a savior like him.

But little did you know, that the night was only just beginning.

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Finish the fic? Leave a like and comment if you enjoyed it. Also, give it a reblog too! Once again, I'm so sorry it was rushed! Please don't be afraid to let me know if there are any typos or errors. I will go back and edit this

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