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beomgyw · 1 month

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MY GIRL

you chose to stay home

if you're new here, go back to the beginning !!

after bidding goodnight to huening kai, who was in a pretty hilarious state of tipsiness, you tackled the aftermath of the mess you both left behind. as you're hustling to tidy up, your phone starts ringing non-stop, slicing through the peace of the house. thanks to the soju you've been sipping, your guard's down, and you don't immediately clock how risky it might be to pick up a call from an unknown number.

"hey pretty girl..." the voice on the other end is unmistakable. jintaek. you roll your eyes and pull the phone away from your face, giving yourself a moment to mutter every curse word you know before reluctantly bringing it back to your ear.

"hm, yeah?" you answer cautiously.

"it's jintaek… just wanted to give you a heads up about this party tonight. thought we could hang out there…"

"tonight?" you stall, racking your brain for an excuse. "i'm really sorry but…"

"no buts, pretty girl. come on, i can swing by to pick you up… just give me your address."

sure, and my social security number too. "listen, jintaek, it's getting late and i was just getting ready for bed… i'd have to get dressed…"

"you trying to play hard to get?" he asks. "don't worry about it, i'll give you enough time to doll yourself up for me…"

"i really can't, jintaek... sorry–"

"i'm not taking no for an answer," he interrupts, his tone suddenly firm. "if you hang up, imma keep calling you. i know we're meant to be..."

you resist the urge to hurl your phone across the room in frustration. fucking brick wall of a dude. as you start to run out of excuses, the doorbell's chime cut through the tension like a savior. "wait a second, will you? the door just rang..." you say hastily, phone still glued to your ear.

you open the door, and there he is. he got hot during our senior year. he's mellowed out since then. his deep brown eyes catch the light, bangs brushing softly over his eyebrows, pretty lips. this is isn't a normal type of hot. it´s manhwa character hot, or promising young actor hot, or disney prince kind of of. definitely not beomgyu, that one shy kid from middle school.

he's standing there, staring at you like he's just seen a ghost, eyes wide with surprise. you figure he has recognised you.

"uh... hi?" you say.

"hi," he breathes out.

from the other end of the line, jintaek's voice chimes in, "you got a boy over? you're not trying to make me jealous, are you, baby girl?"

"you don't even know my name, jintaek," you retort.

at this, beomgyu's dumbfounded expression grows even wider. mouth hanging open, he points at your phone as if to ask; "is that the park jintaek?"

you nod, irritation clear on your face, and gesture for beomgyu to come inside. "oh, uh, i can… i can wait if you're busy," he stutters, "come later or something. i'm here for huening, anyway, so…"

but you're not really listening; you're too busy explaining to jintaek that you have no intention of leaving your house, and that it definitely doesn't mean you're inviting him over.

beomgyu steps into the house all awkward-like, not sure where to plop himself or if he should even sit down at all. you catch him sneaking peeks in your direction, but he quickly looks away whenever your eyes meet. you nod towards one of the armchairs, silently telling him to get comfortable. and so he does finally take a seat, but his fingers can't seem to sit still, tapping nervously against his knees.

you pace around, responding to jintaek with nothing more than grunts and short replies as he rambles on about how he's the ultimate boyfriend material and the life of the party, throwing in pet names like "princess" that make you want to roll your eyes into another dimension. you've endured his bragging before, but this time it's like he's cranked it up to eleven. and with beomgyu there, it's just adding a whole new layer of awkward to the mix.

you try to explain to beomgyu what's going on, but every time your face separates from the phone in the slightest, jintaek throws another question your way, dragging your attention back to the call. until you've had enough, that is.

you stride over to beomgyu and plunk the phone down on the coffee table, putting jintaek on speaker. beomgyu raises an eyebrow and you gesture for him to hold on for a sec.

"...come on, i'll treat you right. let me convince you," jintaek says, launching into a monologue that's been running for the past ten minutes.

"go on, convince me," you reply, shooting a look at beomgyu, who shoots back an amused grin.

from then on, the both of you listen to jintaek trying to convince you to go with him to the party, saying that he'll treat you right, that he'll make you feel good and getting cornier by the second. and as jintaek goes on and on praising himself, you discover that enduring his blabbering is more fun when there's someone with you to laugh at him. the more he speaks, the cringier he gets, and the more beomgyu and you struggle to keep from bursting into laughter.

that's when jintaek decides to step his game, absolutely crossing the line while at it. "come on, grant me that wish, baby girl. can't get you out of my head," he says. "getting hard just from thinking about you... bet you give good head. quiet girls always do."

embarrassment creeps up your cheeks. it wouldn't have been a nice thing to hear form jintaek in any context, but beomgyu being here... you're just mortified.

but then beomgyu throws you this look, like he's silently asking if he can handle the situation. he curls his fingers, signaling for you to pass him the phone. beomgyu clears his throat, leaning in closer to the receiver. at first, you're puzzled, wondering what he's scheming, but it all clicks the moment he starts to speak.

"yo," he says, lowering his voice as deep as it can go, and you escape a dry laugh. "shhh," he signals to you, fighting back his own chuckles. "who the hell is this and why are you talking to my girl?" he says into the phone.

the line falls silent and you cover your mouth with your hands. partly to stifle the laughter threatening to burst out and partly out of surprise. beomgyu had actually managed to shut jintaek up.

"what do you mean your girl?" jintaek finally responds, but the confidence in his voice seems to waver.

"you better quit trying to contact my girlfriend, dumbass, or i'll find you and break your legs," beomgyu shots back, the laughter nearly bubbling over before he managed to deliver.

"me? your whore girlfriend is the one who gave me her phone. she's been after me, man, you've got a cock warmer, not a woman," jintaek retorts, causing beomgyu's jaw to drop in disbelief. "lying bitch!" he mouths to you.

clearing his throat once more, beomgyu slips back into character. "what did you just say about my girl? you're fucking dead, you hear me? dead." he says. jintaek hungs up, and both of you erupt into laughter.

"he was so quick to throw me under the bus, i can't believe it!" you exclaim between laughs.

"he's a piece of shit, he really is," he agrees, shaking his head.

but the laughter fades into an uncomfortable silence, you suddenly realising the oddity of the situation. here you are, standing in your own living room, with someone you clearly know but haven't properly acknowledged. "so, anyway... hi?" you venture, breaking the quiet.

"uh, yeah. hi," he responds, scratching the back of his head. "i guess you recognized me, otherwise you wouldn't have just let me waltz into your house," he quips.

"yeah, well, i did recognize you," you say. "yunjin said some things that really made me... uh, pin you down. but, uh, what are you doing here?"

he tilts his head, a grin playing on his lips. "oh, i was hoping to drag kai along to this... well, let's call it a spontaneous hangout."

"the party jintaek was talking about?"

"yeah, basically."

you share a chuckle. "well, sorry to burst your bubble, but kai's completely knocked out. soju got the best of him."

"ah, figures. he can´t hold his liquor," he remarks with a shake of his head. "but it´s still honors him, when he wasn't answering to my texts i thought he had gone to bed already like the toddler he is."

"um, yeah, well…" you begin, a hint of uncertainty creeping in as you assess the scene. it´s not like you want him to leave, but there's this nagging feeling that maybe he's expecting you to set him free after keeping him hostage during the jintaek situation. "have fun at the party," you say, and he reads it as a polite send-off.

"oh, sure… totally," he responds, his cheeks flushed. "i'm sorry, you probably wanna go sleep or… yeah, i'm probably being a nuisance right now, sorry." his voice trails off, almost lost amidst the shuffle of his own thoughts.

"no! what? what? no," you hurriedly interject. "i just thought maybe you'd prefer heading off to your party instead of sticking around here," you stumble over your words, feeling a bit flustered. "b-but it's cool, you know… jintaek already ruined my night, so anyone's company is an improvement. seriously, it's all good. you're good."

"oh, cool, 'cause i was actually having a good time," he responds, his words bringing a small smile to your lips.

"i've got some soju, if you wanna… hang out for a bit longer," you offer.

"i'd like that," he says.

as you stroll to the kitchen to grab the bottle, then back to the living room, you find him all sprawled out on the couch, taking up more space than necessary. you take it as a positive sign. after all, he's probably spent much more time in that house in the past few years than you have.

"why did jintaek have your number, anyway?" beomgyu questions, eyeing you as you pour him a shot.

you squirm a bit, feeling uneasy. "oh, i bumped into him on the train on my way here... and he was just so insistent. i tried giving him a fake one, but he wasn't buying it. it's a bit of a long story."

"he didn't recognize you, did he?" beomgyu probes.

"no," you admit, feeling a twinge of discomfort. growing up is just awkward. the idea that this beomgyu sitting right here knew you at your lowest makes you cringe. "but maybe it woud´ve been for the better if he had recognised me. i mean, when is he more of a nightmare: when he's bullying you or when he's chasing after you?"

"yeah... look, i'm probably preaching to the choir, but keep your guard up around jintaek. messing with him earlier was kinda cute and all, but he's not someone to take lightly... you don't want him fixating on you."

you nod slowly, recalling taehyun's serious warning as well. "yeah... i've been told"

beomgyu pauses, gazing down at his fingers for a moment before he speaks up again. "you know, i always thought you were cool. all through middle school," he says, his fingers fidgeting nervously. "i'm sorry nobody else saw that. It sucks, feeling so powerless… and getting picked on all the time. i should've stood up, done something but i was too shy. it sounds kinda shallow, but that's just how i feel."

you offer him a reassuring smile. "they would've targeted you too. just like what happened to kai," you say, and your words keep coming out, fueled by the soju. "actually, the worst part wasn't even the bullying. it was everything that came after, how it changed me. i spent the rest of my life trying to prove to everyone that i was cool and smart and not the kind of person who should bullied. but it broke me, all that work... striving for nothing. what good did it do? one run-in with jintaek and suddenly, i felt small and helpless, like i was back to being a twelve-year-old girl again."

he locks eyes with you. "hey, promise me one thing." he says. "if he bothers you again, give me a call. i'll have him know no one messes with my girl,"

"huh?" you blink, cheeks turning red.

"i mean– like in the bit we did on him," he rushed to clarify. "i meant... like the bit. pretend boyfriend... um... the pretend... yes. so... yeah." the air between us thickens with embarrassment, until he says. "anyway, i should get going. i've got work tomorrow," he suddenly announces, getting up from his seat.

"yeah, same here."

"oh, you got a job? where at?" he asks with sudden interest.

"just this bookstore near wavecrest beach..." you reply, noticing his face light up for reasons unknown to you.

"cool, that's cool! you gotta grab your coffee at the cuppa corner," he says with a sparkle in his eye. "they make the best one around."

"i will," you respond. "oh, by the way... not trying to pry, just curious... what brought you here in the first place?"

he tilts his head, a grin playing on his lips as he gestures towards his car parked outside. "oh, I was hoping to drag kai along to this... well, let's call it a spontaneous hangout."

you share a knowing chuckle. "well, he's completely knocked out. soju got the best of him."

his laughter fills the hallway, and you stare at him with a fool's smile. you think he's even more handsome when he's laughing. "it´s alright. i'll catch him next time," he says with a shrug, a twinkle in his eye.

"well, it was nice talking to you." you say.

"yeah, likewise. sleep well," he smiles, already making his way towards his car. there's a fleeting moment where he seems like he wants to say more, but he ultimately decides against it.

so that just happened.

so that just happened. you're gonna go to bed thinking of beomgyu, but you better fall asleep; first day of work tomorrow !!

(coming soon...)

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theflyindutchwoman · 8 months

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I honestly hate the Lucy UC storyline now. 1) she’s been in THREE Documentaries, one specifically about her going UC so it makes no sense (also not to mention Isabel outting her as a cop to that guy’s daughter, so maybe that’s were the storyline will go, he’ll try to get revenge on her for being a cop) and 2) she was upset about them not seeing each other much if she moved to a different station yet they wanted us to believe that she would have no problem going on a UC for 6 mths to a year and not seeing Tim (or Tamara)?!?! Like come on 🙄

For what's it worth, you're definitely not the only one feeling this way. I personally don't hate it, but I get it. This has been a bone of contention since s3, even more so lately. My biggest gripe at the moment is that, this storyline has been stagnant for so long, it's time to either commit, or give Lucy other opportunities. I wasn't sure if you were merely venting your frustrations or if you wanted me to answer : in case it's the latter, I'm gonna address your points but by no means am I trying to invalidate your feelings here. I'm just sharing my perspective on the matter.

Let's start with the documentaries. Honestly, at this point, I think we should simply take them for what they are : an opportunity for the writers to develop ridiculous plots and have fun, even though they don't make much sense… The last one was so over the top that I loved it - but I can understand that it's a bit hard to suspend your disbelief here… especially regarding the UC arc. I didn't mind Lucy being in them at first - or Nyla for that matter. Not to stereotype here, but I'm not sure the criminals she goes after watch these type of documentaries. And even if they were, they would still have to remember her specifically and there wasn't any particular reason to do so back then. I mean, so far, only one person in-universe has ever referenced these documentaries… and that lady was a director herself (5.06). That last one, on the other hand… Let's just say that outing Lucy as an undercover cop was definitely a choice… I almost feel bad for the criminals who went out of their way to be creative so they could get their hands on those UC lists, when really, all they needed to do was sit and watch true crime episodes. No respect for the craft! But more seriously : when the promo aired, I thought for sure that this issue was going to be addressed. I even wondered if I had missed a conversation or something after watching the episode. I guess, we're just supposed to pretend that it doesn't matter since not one single person raised the issue of Lucy being in the spotlight when she should be in the shadows. Then again, the LAPD doesn't see a problem with advertising a whole conference about covert operations… We clearly have a very different definition of secrecy. That said, maybe this will come back later and someone will recognise her. That's always a possibility - though it would seriously make the whole department look incompetent for not considering that ahead of time…

Another option would be to reopen the Teska plotline, as you suggested. The writers did leave the door wide open with all the loose threads, starting with how abruptly Lucy ended the op. Or how Isabel outed them as cop to the daughter, that's true. I have to say, I'm not completely convinced he would want to get revenge on Lucy. Sure, she lied to him about who she was. At the same time, she saved his kid's life, pushed him to make amends and get another chance with her and let him go free. She technically could have had him arrested : between the possession of a firearm and the conspiracy to commit murder, she had more than enough. I'm not saying the guy would become bestie with Lucy but out of all the people she's met while undercover, he's not the one with the biggest motive. Actually, I feel like Isabel would be a bigger target : after all, she's the one who infiltrated his gang and sent him to jail in the first place. Not to mention that his daughter knows how to contact her. But yes, he could always come back to wreak havoc. And as I mentioned earlier, he's not the only one. There's the female gang that might hold a grudge against Lucy. There are a couple of cartels that were crippled thanks to her. Any of her missions could come back to haunt her. But, and this is only my opinion, after spending three seasons filled with various vendettas from La Fiera, Elijah, Rosalind and whatnot, another plot like this would get old real fast. I don't think we need any more of these. Especially since Elijah is not fully over yet and we still have the ramifications from the finale to deal with. I'd rather Lucy just gives up on UC because she realises this is not for her. At least, it would be something different, you know what I mean?

And that leads me to your last point… Here's the thing : as upset as Lucy was at the idea of spending less time with Tim, she was still ready to move to another station, she still helped him get a new position that is notorious for their killer hours and she was still studying for the detective's exam. This didn't deter her at all. Obviously, this is different than being away for months on end, but she has been consistent in that regard. I understand the confusion and how illogical it sounds… But just because she was distressed about seeing Tim less, doesn't automatically mean she won't be able to handle being away. And just because she could handle it, doesn't mean she will want to do it. Speaking from personal experience here, it's a bit more nuanced - and complicated - than that I'm afraid. I only wish we would hear her perspective on all of this.

I also don't think that the narrative, or Lucy herself, was implying she would have no problem whatsoever with not seeing Tim (or Tamara) for a long period of time. I'm assuming you're referring to that last scene in 5.20, when she was worried about Tim not handling long term UC. As I see it, it was more about her trying to finally have an honest conversation with him about undercover, so they could hash everything out. This was introduced in 5.16, with Noah opening the can of worms, but they didn't get to the bottom of it since they had another conflict to take care of. Undercover is a bit of a sore point for Tim - for good reasons - and she knows it. She was there for the end of his marriage, she remembers his knee-jerk reaction when he found out she wanted to pursue undercover… He may fully be supportive now but she wants to gauge how he is truly faring with all of this. And after the events of the day (Isabel's return, their mini UC op…), it gave her the perfect opportunity to try to address this. She can guess he has been soldiering on for her and she doesn't want that. A place of honesty, remember. That's why she starts their conversation with : "Can I share something vulnerable with you?". She's putting herself in a vulnerable position by confessing how much she loves doing this job. She's trying to bring up the underlying issue in a way that wouldn't make him defensive. But a part of her has to also be afraid of his reaction. This isn't an easy situation. When she answers him "No. Um… I'm worried that you won't", it's because in that moment, her concerns are about him. Let's be honest, out of the two, he's the one more likely to have issues with this due to his past. She doesn't have the same baggage as him. And she's right to ask the question : how many of us have asked it? Apart from when she was his rookie or when he pushed her to go to the Academy, they've never talked about it. Only it's an important conversation to have if they want to spend their lives together. And they finally had it after her last mission. Another reason is that, in her case, she has something to counterbalance the hardship of not seeing Tim : doing something she loves. He, on the other hand, doesn't really have anything to outweigh this downside when she's away. However, he knew all of this from the start and still decided to start a relationship with her : simply being with her eclipses this drawback. This is what matters to him. But I can see why she would want to check with him if long-term undercover is something he can handle beforehand. It doesn't mean she doesn't have her own fair share of doubts. Now whether she can truly handle it… For the moment she thinks she can - and so far, she has. Maybe she's underestimating how hard it would be… and to be fair, it's not like she really has a frame of reference here. Listening to other people's experiences can only go so far…

If it helps though, I doubt Lucy will do too many long-terms undercover mission - if any - so all of this might end up being moot anyway. But I still believe the whole point of that conversation was to try to address the elephant in the room… They started opening up to each other, after several attempts, so maybe next season they will take a step further in that direction and explore Lucy's side of this, share some light on whether she has any doubts or worries. And hopefully, this storyline won't be in limbo for much longer. But again, this is just my perspective :)

#ask & ye shall receive #the rookie #chenford #lucy chen #tim bradford

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oleworm · 9 months

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@bacchanalium that's Americans not seeing foreign people as human beings. That's why they always put people to the impossible standard. Like when they tell refugees who fled extremist violence. "Co co co go back to your country where you can be killed and fix it. I am so smart!". And when people do oppose extremism by supporting education and human rightds, they are still called slurs, accused of being "not real" or "as bad as", ignored or further insulted

It's like people who come from the situations like the one in Afghanistan are doomed if they do, doomed if they don't speak about their experience or seek better life. They have impossible expectations on them to not only fit Western sensitivities, but Western imagination of them.

Hope that it's OK to reply like this, if not tell me and I'll delete it!

I don't think it's only people from the United States, though a lot of them are from there, but also those who spend too much time on social media and watch people get piled on for having a slightly different opinion than a bully.

I remember that we had a conversation once about how you could go on Reddit and find that the top comments were indistinguishable from each other, even on threads about different topics. That is, you wouldn't be able to identify any of those users because of their ideas or speech patterns because users tended to upvote those that had references they recognised or ways of writing that they identified with. And that's talking about people who use it to share a positive feeling I would imagine--you approve of the thing, you belong to the group of those who approve of the thing. On Tumblr and Twitter I've seen a more aggressive way to promote sameness, where if you don't follow the script it means that you disagree and that's bad, and then people allow themselves to talk to you in a way that would be considered very offensive if they did it in person. Some people are very hurt by this! It's also creepy because it gets to the point where you literally wouldn't be able to tell any of these users apart.

I refuse to believe that any one nationality is full of idiots. If I could talk to a regular person about the problems that people face in different parts of the world, I am sure they would understand that it's not nice to live through all of that and that no one should be punished for suffering in a way that does not fit your mental schematic of the world. It might take a moment to explain the situation but I think most people would get it.

But with a lot of what you see online, it's like they're just repeating what their cooler friend told them. They also want to be cool, so they repeat it to someone else without understanding it. It might not make any sense but they'll sure as hell say it. After all, it takes a few seconds to type. It reminds me of when I was twelve and pretended to be more familiar with certain bands that the other kids were listening to, but now they use the same dynamic to talk about what opinions are evil and racist.

It could be that we're bombarded with the real-time thoughts of twenty-one year-olds that are specifically fluent in English, with all of their cultural biases and the issues a lot of people have at that age, and because of how social media works, this is what ends up being pushed--the half-baked thoughts of the average teenager or very young adult--not the most mature, well-read, or most empathetic person in that age group, but the most average. Whatever that means. I know that at that age I was saying very messed up things. Definitely not ideas that I would like to be amplified in any way.

You see some adults acting that way, but I don't know if it's adults acting more like teenagers nowadays, more eager to impress and with a lower frustration threshold, or if it's because when I was a kid adults weren't losing their temper in front of me and when they did it was so rare that I considered it the sign of a person being very mentally unwell. I'm not a scientist, I really don't know. People definitely have always had thoughtless opinions but now you see it all the time and it continues affecting what others think and say long after the fact. I can't say I like that.

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oliviaischillin1204 · 10 months

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This Fanfiction Of Sanders Sides Is Called "Bluey" Part 1: Roman

[olivia's note: hi everyone! this is part 1 of a fic submitted by the incredible, incomparable anne onymous! i absolutely adore bluey and this fic is so freaking cute i can't stand it. thank you so much! <;3]

chapters 1 (2) (3) (4)

Despite being a fatherly figure, part of Patton would always be a child at heart. That's probably how he found himself watching "Bluey". Sure, it was for kids but lots of older people love it too, including Thomas. He was watching the show in the living room when Emile walked in. "Good morning, Patty-cakes. Whatcha watching?" he asked. "Morning Emmy, I'm just watching this new show. Well, not exactly new, it's been out for quite a while, but you should watch it with me. It's so cute!" Patton explained. Emile sat next to him on the couch and immediately recognised the Heelers. "Oh, you're watching "Bluey", I love this show! How far have you gotten?" Emile inquired. "Actually, I finished it. Just having a little season one rewatch. Want me to go back to episode one?" Patton asked. "Sure, if it's no trouble." Emile said. Patton paused the episode he was on and went back to the episode guide to select "Magic Xylophone", the first episode.

"Oh yeah, I forgot this was on Disney+. I guess I got too used to watching those free episodes on TikTok." Emile said. "Normally I wouldn't encourage piracy, but it does make it a lot fairer for those who can't afford it or or just don't have access to every episode." Patton confessed. "Yeah, that's how I see it too. You know, if we're gonna have a Bluey marathon, might as well do it properly." Emile said, snapping his fingers. In an instant, he was wearing a Bingo onesie and holding a Bluey plushie, and Patton wore a Bluey onesie and had a Bingo plushie. Patton gasped in delight and squealed. "I love this! You can summon things too?!" Patton exclaimed, squeezing the toy. "Uh-huh. It's just not really needed in Cartoon Therapy. And when I do use it, it's almost unnoticeable." Emile explained, hitting play. After dancing along to the intro, Emile noticed Patton seemed to be fidgeting and blushing. "You ok?" Emile asked. "Yeah, it's just this scene." Patton admitted. Emile looked back at the TV and saw Bandit playing Bluey like a piano.

"Roman did the same thing to me a few days ago. When I asked him what was that for, he said..." Patton started before clearing his throat and removing his glasses. "Really, Padre? I thought you of all Sides would know half as much about Bluey as I do." Patton continued in Roman's voice. "Oh my god, you sounded just like him!" Emile giggled. "Thanks. Anyway, that's how I started watching Bluey. After the first episode, I was hooked." Patton said, putting his glasses back on. "So you weren't looking for ways to get him back?" Emile inquired. "No, but I guess I could still do that since there's quite a few tickling scenes in this show. After all, no one gets away with tickling the tickle monster in this household." Patton replied. "That's it! We'll watch every episode we can think of that has anything to do with tickling and then that could get you some ideas!" Emile suggested. "Great idea, Emile!" Patton agreed. As soon as "Magic Xylophone" ended, so began the search for inspiration. They watched "Daddy Robot", "Hotel", "Butterflies", "Mount Mumandad", "Ticklecrabs" and even "Perfect". By the time they were finished, Patton had a few ideas in mind but wasn't sure which one to use for Roman.

"Sure, Ticklecrabs is pretty teasy and that really gets to him, but surprise tickles work really well too and I could definitely surprise him by being a crazy pillow or crazy blanket. But "Poor Little Bug On The Wall" gave me a really good idea for a tickle game. Oh, why is this so hard?" Patton complained, burying his face in his Bingo plushie. Emile frowned. He hated seeing Patton like this and anyone could tell you that decision making can be a nightmare if there's too many options. Surely he can help somehow. Then it struck him. "Why not try all the techniques on me first? Then you can decide based on which ones felt the most fitting." Emile suggested. Patton looked at Emile and smiled. "Ok. If you're sure." he agreed, cracking his knuckles. Emile giggled nervously as he laid across Patton's lap. After almost 20 minutes of testing different methods, Emile's glasses were fogged up and he was a sweaty, giggly, panting mess. "Thanks for the help, Dr Giggles." Patton said, sneaking a few quick pokes to Emile's tummy before leaving. Emile yawned and went to his room for a well-deserved nap.

Patton knocked on Roman's door, ready to put his plan into action. "Come iiiiin!" Roman sang from inside. Patton let himself in, trying to suppress a smirk. "Hi Roman!" Patton greeted. "Hey Patt–aww, cute onesie. Bluey, huh? Thought for sure you'd go for Bandit since, well, you know." Roman remarked. "Well, we are both dads." Patton agreed. In an instant, he changed his onesie from Bluey to Bandit. As Roman looked down at himself, he realised Patton gave him the Bluey onesie. "Ooh. Thanks." Roman said. "You're welcome, kiddo. I thought Bluey suited you. Although there is one character I think suits you better." Patton replied, summoning a new onesie. Roman looked at his onesie and realised it changed from Bluey to Muffin. "Hey!" Roman protested, glaring at Patton who was already hunched over, laughing. "Sorry, Roman! I couldn't resist!" Patton chuckled, changing the onesie back to Bluey as Roman pouted and mumbled grumpily. "Awww, don't be grouchy. I think I know what'll turn that frown upside down, Mr Grumpy." Patton said, taking his phone out and selecting a Bluey episode: Daddy Robot. Roman smiled and the two sat together on his bed as they watched.

After a few minutes, the scene where Bandit treats Bluey like a banjo was about to play and Patton was ready to strike. Without warning, he grabbed Roman by the wrists and started "strumming" across his belly. "Gah! Patton, what are you do–Ah! Hahahahaha! Pahahattohohon! Whyhyhyhy?!" Roman chuckled. "My oh my, this is one chatty banjo." Patton teased. Roman was internally facepalming right now. How did he forget Patton is the biggest tickle monster in the Mind Palace? He couldn't help himself when he did what he did last week. When he saw Patton napping in his room with his shirt ridden up, his exposed tummy was practically begging for tickles! And all the different laughs he makes when he's tickled are so cute, from his giggles and snorts, to his baby-like cackles. Curse his adorably misleading ticklishness! "Wait a minute, this isn't a banjo. Silly me. It's a piano!" Patton exclaimed as he released Roman's wrists, singing a tune as he started "playing" him across his ribs and tummy. Roman kicked frantically, curled into himself and even attempted to crawl away, but Patton wasn't letting him go.

"Ladies, gentlemen and esteemed guests, my sincerest apologies. I seem to be having a bit of a struggle with this piano." Patton joked as he dragged Roman back to his lap. Roman tried to groan but was too busy laughing. He should've known that line would come back to haunt him. "Pahahahat, plehehease! I'm sohohohorry! Hahahahaha!" Roman cackled. "What's the magic word?" Patton asked. "Stohohohop!" Roman squealed. "Actually the magic word was "xylophone", but I'll accept "stop" since this is only fun for me when it's fun for you and you're getting tired." Patton said, stopping immediately. As Roman caught his breath, Patton summoned a glass of water and gave it to him. "Thanks." Roman sighed, gulping it down. "So, what have we learned today?" Patton asked. "Always expect revenge when you tickle the tickle monster?" Roman guessed. "That's there's only one tickle monster and it's not you, mister." Patton said, booping Roman's nose on the last word. "Can't you be THE tickle monster and I can be A tickle monster? Roman reasoned. "Are we gonna have to perform an encore?" Patton asked, wiggling his fingers threateningly. "Nope! Lesson learned." Roman assured, covering his stomach protectively. Patton giggled and got up to leave.

"At least you're not worse than Remus." Roman muttered. "Huh? What does Remus have to do with anything?" Patton asked. Roman froze. "I don't know, what does Remus have to do with this?" he stammered hesitantly. "You just said I wasn't worse than him. What did you mean by that?" Patton inquired. "I didn't say that." Roman denied. "Roman, don't lie to me." Patton said sternly. Roman sighed. "Fine. Sometimes he randomly pops in here out of the blue and tickles me until I nearly pass out or wet myself. He doesn't care if I keep saying "stop" and I usually have to physically pry him off, if I even have the strength to." Roman explained. "That's horrible! Tickling is supposed to be fun, it's practically a game we're born with in our systems. I know Remus goes overboard with a lot of things, but this is where I draw the line. That kiddo needs a punishment and I'm just the dad for the job. Where is he?" Patton ranted. "How should I know? I'm not a dark Side. Ask Virgil, he used to be one." Roman suggested. "Good thinking, I'll go find him. If Remus comes in here while I'm gone, scream for me." Patton said, leaving the room. "Oh, I'll be screaming alright." Roman grumbled.

To be continued...

#my posts #submission #tickling #tickle fic #tickle community #sanders sides tickling #anne onymous

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lapeaudelamemoire · 7 months

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1. Just logged onto Tumblr on my actual laptop for the first time in a long time. The dashboard looks different and doesn't. I'm liking the low-contrast Tumblr blue colour palette option. It's new and old at the same time. Updated and modern yet nostalgic and recognisable still.

2. Apparently this autosaves now, too. I mean, I guess that's a good thing - no more posts just disappearing after you've spent ages typing and then it just crashes. But I hate the little 'autosave' notification that appears at the bottom of the page while I'm writing; it's distracting.

3. I've been anxious all day. I'm busy as hell, but sometimes just thinking on something and an answer comes up, as if served up simply having been sitting on a conveyor belt, the next most natural, unassuming thought; the way realisations sometimes just visit. Except I don't have time to sit with them or really do all that much more with them; just realise them. So they come like 'regular' thoughts and I recognise them, suddenly big, and then they pass again making way for the next thought, crowded out, but still lingering like an afterimage, I knowing they're there. Sitting on it. Smothering it. The pea under the pillow, mattress, cushion that I am sitting on.

Maybe my first instinct of wanting to hurt myself or die when I'm stressed or feel like I've done something wrong or upset someone is because that is what happened when I was a kid. It's hard just typing this, actually; I sound just like one of my clients. But it's true, and it would explain a lot. Hearing my mum say she wished she'd never had me or caning me with a switch. That was generally the punishment for doing something wrong, or upsetting her. Maybe my wanting to peel my skin off my face like removing a mask or wanting to peel my skin back off my arms when I'm anxious or feel like I've done something wrong or not well enough isn't just because it's a visual representation of what it feels like to me emotionally, but also because physical punishment and pain is what I expect for having committed the sin of being wrong or upsetting someone somehow. Maybe that's why I hear 'Die, die, die!' in my head when I feel overwhelmed. Maybe that's what was sounding in my mum's head when she hit me with the cane. It feels like it could be. How else do you interpret that, really, especially as a child? Even now, as an adult, actually?

The other sticking point for me from and during the conversation with the other student clinician I had this morning was what they said about being concerned about a client having been seeing clinicians at the clinic for over a year and wondering if they were 'dependent' on the clinic, and if they were engaging because they were 'lonely'. Their concern sounded like over a year was too long to be engaging with mental health services. Lawdy, my my. This is the kind of thing psychologists would have been thinking about me as a client, then, most certainly; most definitely.

It really got to me how the mental health model is basically a Fix-It Factory. Get the client to a point where they can be independent and then goodbye, 'independence' being the goal. It's not entirely Wrong, per se, but in my time with my clients on placement I've come to realise - or at least feel - that really, what they're seeking and need is a community. And we are part of that community; we're literally practitioners seeking to provide services to a community, [and] the wider community. That's literally what it says on the clinic bio, and it's absolutely, definitely what it says on my bio, and what I want and aim to do. It's what I'm here for. I'm part of that community, the community. My clients are also part of the community, that community that I'm trying to provide for.

Yes of course the job is to hope that we facilitate people to be able to live their own lives well, and thus to some extent that they won't necessarily 'need' us any more, or rely [solely] on us, rather, but - there's actually nothing wrong and everything right with people seeking out support, from and in [their] community, but even more specifically, the actually studied and designated community counsellors and practitioners of a specific role and job/service, for that specific role/job/service.

Like yes I'm a/we're practitioner[s] in mental health, but I'm a/we're practitioner[s] in mental health within and as part of a community. I'm a mental health service provider, but I'm also a community member. And a fellow community member is coming to chat to me and talk with me about what's going on their lives and the troubles they are having, and - isn't that the most natural thing in the world? Isn't that what a community is for?

I feel like the fucking separation of clean and clear Roles in 'Western' and medicalised societies is a fucking scourge. The way when we say 'relationship[s]' we are often referring to romantic relationships, because that is the most prized and emphasised (outsized) kind of relationship in our amatonormative [also largely here referring to 'Western'] society. If you have troubles, you share them with your friends, family, and romantic partners. You don't share them with your neighbours, and you don't have a concept of a community.

I remember speaking to a client once during what I think turned out to be our last session (before our schedules diverged, not because it was going awfully, at least I don't think), and them noting that they would like to give back to society - which is a common feeling; we all want to feel like we're a member of something bigger, that we're giving back, contributing, a part of something larger than us - and I noted that there was mutual aid, and asked if they knew what that was. They said no. I explained. And they said, they had never thought about community as meaning outside of their family and friends before.

Because we never or at least rarely do, actually. We talk often about 'society' but almost never about 'community'. That seems to be a term reserved largely for parents in locales, probably most thought of like the 'PTA' in 'US' media, or 'Housing Association'-type suburb things, when or if ever spoken about in the mainstream. Else, it's an academic term, an abstracted one that clinics use or companies or businesses or localised organisations specific to a neighbourhood. But we rarely equate 'community' with 'society'. Those seem to be two different beasts.

Talking to my partner and friends is never going to replace going to see a designated, specified, trained and experienced person whose job and role in your life is to aid you in and provide a designated, specific space for you to work through your issues, for that express purpose, and who is separate from your friends and as 'objective' in that regard as possible. A professional.

And so - setting aside for the moment the fact that doing work on yourself takes time, and if you're actually doing Work on yourself that it takes a lot of time - actually, so what if people see mental health services for years? Especially in the world we live in (in this economy? In this society?)?

People are so often in horrible, awful situations for years. Years and years on end, even. And even just a moment of trauma can take years to address.

If someone is lonely g-damn yes please of course come talk to us, that's what we're here for. As part of your community, as part of literally providing mental health services. Go at your own pace. Finding friends is hard. Keeping in touch with friends is hard. Maintaining social connections is hard, especially when and/or if that's something you struggle with. If someone is lonely and I can help them be less lonely by providing them the service literally called 'talk therapy' then damn yeah what's the issue here??? And at a community clinic that doesn't charge a fee? That's literally what it's there for. To help. And if someone wants to pay at a clinic to talk to someone because they're lonely then yeah??? That's their choice.

Which also tangentially enough brings me to the fact that people are lonely in our isolating society, see again above about segregation of types of relationships that are 'allowed' or seen as 'normal' and 'expected' and what isn't; and also, there are plenty other professions where people pay for companionship, whether it's sex workers, host/hostess clubs, escort services, or so on. And actually, also, that those professions are often looked down upon. Fuck the nuclear family puritanist WASPy uptightness, honestly.

And then, of course - it's actually not uncommon for people to see a therapist for years. It does take that long to work on things. And mental health practitioners are themselves required to maintain supervision while practicing. What else is that if not similar?

In a community, what one might really think of as a community, or at least in my imagining, there is someone (or someones, even a group) designated who is turned to by members in the community when they meet trouble. An elder, tribal chief, shaman, healer, oracle, doctor. A pastor, or priest, even. And people in that community go to them throughout their life. There is no thought that goes 'Are they independent if they're coming to see the healer/priest/doctor repeatedly, or even regularly?'.

///

It's tiring looking at everything all the time. Actually, it wouldn't surprise me now, in this day and age, living in the times we live in, understanding the idea that if there was a singular, omniscient G-d, that they might have walked away. Imagine seeing everything all the time. Hearing everything all the time. We see and hear not even Everything individually in this digital age, but one might argue we already see and hear beyond the limit of which we can process things. (And sure, you could argue that G-d is different because they're G-d, but then generally when referring to G-d people are talking about the one whom they also say 'we were made in the image of', so.)

Posts about Palestine. Ads about the V referendum in "Aus". I click on someone's blog on Tumblr on my phone and as I look through their posts there's a sponsored ad for it saying 'Vote Yes'. My SoundCloud stops and I restart the track. It moves to an ad reminder about the referendum. It's been playing for over the last month at least now between tracks switching. I hear it at least once every day I use the app. I go into the city and there are posters and flyers for it everywhere. I pass by houses and apartments and cars that have 'Yes' stickers and posters and flyers pasted up everywhere. More posts about something in the 'US'. Posts about politics in the UK. (These are all colonial/-occupied centres, as one might notice.) Mutual aid posts. Posts about death and assaults and a litany of the rest of all of it.

If there is an omniscient G-d, they must not have a very good time, being the ultimate witness to all (and that's not even counting the probably sensory overload).

Everything clawing for my attention is like a pair of jagged claws scrabbling at my mind, tearing it into ragged edges like strips of cloth you might see become of the bottom of some ghoul's black robe. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.

////

Suddenly my shoulders have dropped, at some point where I'd stopped noticing while writing. I forgot that this is why I'd wanted to speak.

Not to someone, actually - but to this blank page.

I go with my thoughts; to write them out I must discern them, to discern them I must hold them in my view. I ride them and ride them out of my mind and onto the page and then - all this space. Suddenly I am in my body again and not full to the brim with thoughts behind my eyes.

Ah space, you wonderful thing. Empty page, you who receives of me. I speak in my head and hear myself. Turn the thoughts over in my mind. Like leaves of a page a book. I handle them, like leaves from the Destiny Tree.

#personal

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rebelrobin86 · 1 year

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Platonic Stobin Month

(Prompt list by @lesbianancyy)

Part 1

1999 (My intro)

Robin and Steve were wearing fancy suits, sitting on the floor of an elevator. Steve groaned. "We're missing the wedding, because we're stuck in a stupid elevator!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have panicked and pushed every button like 100 times!"

"At least it's not the Russian Elevator, could be worse. It's crazy, if I never took that job at Scoops Ahoy, we wouldn't be here right now."

"You think you'd be sitting here with some other shmuck? Do you remember meeting me at all before Hawkins High?" Robin asked, Steve looked confused.

"I know it was never something we really talked about, but I still remember."

Alternate Meeting (Robin)

"I had just had soccer practise. The goalie Beth Wildfire said there's no way a klutz like me would ever stay on the team."

"The one who's bone came out of her knee?" Steve laughed seeing the irony.

"Yeah it was before then. The girls were all having this stupid sleepover, that I didn't even really want to go to, but I was the only one not invited. I had a crumpled dollar in my pocket, then went into Benny's Burgers for fries, but it wasn't enough."

"That sucks."

"Yeah well I was about to go home, but then you recognised me from middle school, you invited me over to sit with you and your friends." Robin smiled. "You yelled at Tommy for saying girls can't play soccer, then we went outside. I stole almost all your fries before going home."

Steve laughed. "I always wondered who fry girl was. She was a lot more interesting than my other friends. I started to question if she was even real or if I made her up."

"You never know I could be your imaginary friend, I might still be." Robin teased.

Snow (Steve)

"Speaking of imaginary, you remember the Snowmogorgon?" Steve asked.

"Yeah?" Robin laughed.

"That was crazy. The kids were playing D&D and we told them about the snow and this Demogorgon snowman. The Snowmogorgon, that was this big scary monster they had to defeat. Do you think they thought it was real?"

"I don't think so, which I don't get because the Demogorgon was real, but a snowman monster is too unrealistic. We definitely are the best monster fighters."

90s (Robin)

"Do you think Buffy The Vampire Slayer could have taken on Vecna or the Mind Flayer? A Demogorgon could be easy for her if she lit one of those stakes on fire."

"I don't know Rob." Steve replied. "Buffy's a Vampire Slayer, the closest we had to vampires was the Demobats."

"Yeah but she's fought so many other demons and monsters, not just vampires. We'll have to ask Max, it was her favourite show." Robin shrugged.

"I'm just glad, Max is over her Scream phase. I hated when she wore her Ghostface mask everywhere and called us to ask what our favourite scary movies were in that voice."

"Oh like." Robin imitated the voice "What's your favourite scary movie?"

"Never do that again." Steve laughed.

Friendship Jewellery (Steve)

Steve looked down at the rainbow bracelet he was wearing, then looked at Robin's matching bracelet.

"You think we'll have to take these off before the wedding?" Steve asked.

"No. We can't ever take these off, best friends for life. The nuggets will know."

"You're always going to call my daughters nuggets now? I did ask for it when I told you I dreamt about 6 little nuggets, 4 more to go." Steve smiled. "They were so happy making the bracelets for us."

"I never thought me and Steve Harrington would wear friendship bracelets, but I can't say no to them, they're too adorable."

Monster/Ghost Hunters (Robin)

"They do love when Auntie Robin comes over to play with them." Steve smiled. "It's not easy explaining you're here for me and not them."

"Shut up! Of course I'm there for the girls. It's fun playing Monster Hunters with them." Robin laughed. "Running around the house with pretend shot guns and molotov cocktails and blasting Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush to defeat the monster."

"I don't really like that game. Not because of what happened, but Max has played that song to death! Always." Steve starts singing in a muppet voice "Be Running up that road, be Running up that hill, be running up that building!"

"Why did Tammy Thompson sing it?" Robin laughed. "No I love the song, not just because it saved our friends life, but how much it annoys you when me and the munchkins play it."

Worms (Steve)

Steve pulls out a pack of gummy worms candy from his pocket, then starts eating them. "I just remembered I had these."

"Gummy Worms!" Robin excitedly took a handful of the gummy worms and started eating them. "Thanks Steve."

"They were Henderson's, but he's not in the elevator right now."

Scoops Ahoy (Robin)

"Do you remember my board at Scoops Ahoy, you rule, you suck? I wish I still had that. This might be a first for the you rule column." Robin laughed. "We may be stuck here, but you got us candy."

Confession (Steve)

"Robin. I have a confession to make about Scoops Ahoy." Steve said.

"What?"

"You know when I told Dustin not to lick my scooper, before you got us the map."

"Steve, I saw you lick the scooper. I just never said anything because it wasn't my scooper. I'm sure you had more free samples than Erica."

"Yeah probably." Steve laughed. "The USS Butterscotch was out of this world!"

Outfit swap (Robin)

"Do you remember when we were bored, we swapped uniforms and name tags at work?" Robin asked.

"Yeah a lot of customers didn't question why my name tag said Robin, but you got a lot of strange looks."

"You don't think I look like a Steve?"

"Definitely not. You need to be a lot cooler to pull off a name like mine."

"Hey!" Robin laughed, playfully pushing him.

Double Date (Steve)

"After the wedding. Do you want to go on a double date? Just us four." Steve asked.

"Yeah and we can eat something better than gummy worms." Robin rambled. "Not that gummy worms aren't good, but I don't think Nancy would like them or your wife either. Our ladies have fancy tastes."

"I could've gone for a Mcdonalds or KFC, but you're probably right. We'll save that for another time, but for now boothes and waiters. If you're interested?"

"Yeah it will be fun, if we ever get out of this elevator!"

#stobin month #robin buckley #steve harrington #platonic stobin #stranger things #scoops ahoy

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flowercrowncrip · 1 year

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hey do you have any advice for dealing with audism? i’m hard of hearing in my left ear and this one fucking kid on my debate team is audist as shit (shouting at me to get my attention, knowing asl but getting pressed when i ask them to use it, making jokes about my deafness when i definitely don’t know them enough for that) and it’s the Literal Worst.

They sound absolutely awful and I'm so sorry you're having to spend any time near them let alone being on the same debate team. I've met people like that before and they are absolutely awful to be around, and you don't deserve that at all.

I do need to say that I'm not deaf/Deaf so haven't got any personal experience with audism specifically so take what I say with a pinch of salt. I have definitely experienced ableism though and some of what I've learned might be helpful.

For me, if I'm stuck with someone ableist the most important thing I've learned is to always put myself first. Sometimes that means challenging whoever it is or letting them know what they're doing isn't okay, or even making a formal complaint depending on the situation, and doing that even if I feel people don't want me to. But sometimes it's recognising that maybe I'm not comfortable or safe doing that, or that it's unlikely to change anything, and that it's not solely my responsibility to try and end ableism forever everywhere.

When I was at university, I was frequently stuck in classes with some of the most ableist people I've ever met and nothing I could do or say was going to change their views or stop them saying some truly horrific things. In that situation finding an outlet to vent was exceptionally useful. Sometimes that was finding someone else in class who was able to recognise when something ableist was going down and with whom I could share a Look of recognition. Sometimes it was posting online about it or texting a friend after class.

I would also have coffee at least once a week with a friend who was having a similar experience in a different course and we'd fill each other in on what was happening and get annoyed on each other's behalf for a while before talking about other things. I think those coffee catch ups kept are the reason I managed to stay long enough to graduate. We're both out of that environment now but we still have regular catch ups now and I always look forward to them.

One of the most infuriating thing I've learned is that sometimes people will ignore or dismiss me saying something's ableist, but if another nondisabled person pulls them up on the same thing then suddenly their behaviour changes. Sometimes having allies can be invaluable.

But yeah, I'm sorry that person's put you in that situation. You don't deserve that crap and I really hope it gets better for you. If you need to vent in my inbox go for it.

#echo answers asks #ableism #audism

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sequoiareachesforthesky · 8 months

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Today I wanted to talk about family structures and how diverse they can be and then it derailed into talks about education. Like the woke public schools that conservatives are so afraid of, that kind of things. Enjoy!

Warning : rambling. A lot of it.

Thank Satan I grew up surrounded by somewhat diverse family structures that didn't all fit the "straight married couple with 2.5 children" archetype, because being taught that this is the one and only way to live a happy life sounds scary to me.

My aunt divorced in her late 30s and is currently living her best life with her new boyfriend. And nobody makes a fuss about it, like good for her and her ex-husband if they needed to end their relationship. Divorce is healthy.

I have three uncles, none of them ever got married. I don't know much about my mom's brothers but my other uncle has been single for as long as I can remember and is absolutely thriving. He spends time with his friends, and puts time into his passions (mainly old cars). And never has anyone in my family said anything about him being single. Or even suggested that it should be something to be talked about. Because guess what, it's not a fucking problem and people aren't defined by their relationship status.

My mom went to a lesbian wedding when I was around 8 (I remember being very disappointed that I couldn't come with her because I've never been to a wedding before and it sounded like a lot fun). She made sure to show me and my siblings pictures and videos of the event. To make sure we understand that there's no problem with a family composed of two moms and a daughter (she was from one of the brides' previous marriage, again with divorce being treated a totally normal part of life, because it is).

I also grew up in a place where multicultural and mixed families were basically the norm I feel? At least that's how I was seeing it. The fact that my classmates had parents from overseas, or ethnically marked features wasn't a big deal (that's also why I'm now still very bad at recognising said "ethnic features" or foreign accents, or even knowing where names are from, because I didn't see any of those things as a difference honestly. Like how do people go "ah yes, this person is definitely from Eastern Europe". Like what??? How???). Anyway, that may be why for a while, I really struggled to understand why racism existed as a child. Like I knew it existed, I was told it was bad but I didn't understand why it was a thing in the first place (but isn't the case for most children? We're just here to enjoying the slides in the playground, we have no idea about the colonial heritage of our societies)

(sidenote: I may be mixed myself (wasian) but the history and current societal impact of racism is definitely not a topic I would say I'm very knowledgeable about. And of course looking back on it I did hold racist beliefs as a kid and there were instances when I witnessed structural racism. It just took me a while to realise it and to try to become a better person. My point here is about family structures and how I personally was exposed to a lot of mixed families, including my own, and that in that sense, race and culture have never been something I could have worried about when thinking about the idea of "founding a family". Like whatever happens happens you know)

And that's not even going into all of the friends I had who were raised by only one parent, the ones who would spend one week at their mom's then one week at their dad's, the ones who got nieces/nephews because they had much older siblings (sometimes step siblings), the ones who were adopted, and so on and so forth. So yeah, to me, it's normal for families to come in all shapes and forms. That's why nowadays, when I get introduced to new views of family and relationships, it doesn't really take me long to get it.

Sometimes I think back on my childhood and realise that I got actually pretty lucky to be in contact with many kinds of family structures, with none presented as more correct or desirable. Because now that I'm older and that I've met people who are very cautious about sticking to traditions (*cough* catholic bourgeois *cough*) and who even get anxious at the idea that they won't be able to get their straight wedding with three children that they shall raise in a pavillion in the suburbs, I really think that damn, it must suck to be them.

Anyway, judging others for having a view of "family" differing from your own is cringe, and I really think we should queer the world a bit more because why were my 12 year-old classmates so surprised when I told them that polyamory is fine to me (and even a logical way to look at love and relationships in my brain), that I didn't wanna have children later, and that I didn't if I would get a husband or a wife later, or if I would get married at all. I remember the shock in their eyes and being very confused as to why, because I was like "uuuuh, I thought homophobia didn't exist anymore? And that people should live the way they want?" (Also I've recently been diagnosed with ASD after being in denial about it my whole life so that may explain some things, since you know, the intersection between autistic and queer identities isn't even an intersection anymore).

This post was originally about family but since it intersects a lot with queerness, I just wanted to share a thought. Sometimes, I wonder if I could basically be considered as "assigned enby at birth" with how I was taught that gender doesn't matter and encouraged to be whomever I want to be without following gender norms. (This last paragraph is to be taken more as a joke than anything, but like honestly, that's why I never personally found the need to identify with the term "trans" or "non-binary". Because I just don't care personally, thanks to my upbringing. And that's why I'll always advocate for children to be exposed to queer content because me, my siblings, and probably most children from my community were and it makes for such healthier adults istg. Like yeah, I didn't care about my gender identity or whatever but the second I was put in an all girls school, I understood that it very much mattered to other people and that made me so furious, I totally get why so many people are attached to their queer identity. Because when you're in a fucking horrid environment, of course you're gonna have a strong emotional reaction to this stuff.)

All of this to say : I was raised by a woke family, went to a woke school that taught us that climate change is going to kill us all, that we should welcome all refugees, that beauty is found in difference and diversity, that disabled people should be accommodated (there was a class in my school for specially made for children with mental or learning disabilities because yes, they do have a right to education too actually), that children in general have rights and are not just objects, that solidarity is important (we made cakes for the local food bank when we were in kindergarten it was very cool. and many many fund-raising campaigns for people in need. we would mainly provide food and sanitary products, and the goal was to make a wall in the school hall with all of the collected products. it was great). We would sing songs about international solidarity and fighting against racism and water access inequalities at the school choir (looking back on it this feels a bit surreal to be frank). I was raised in the exact environment conservatives are freaking about. Heck the street where I lived was named after a communist song 😭. And you know what's the funniest thing about all that? It wasn't even that "woke". The way we were taught about societal stuff was a nice effort, but a bit clunky at times. There were still a lot, and I mean a lot of ableism against the students from the "special needs" class I talked about previously. I still got called a racist slur by a classmate when I was five. I still had so much stuff to unlearn as I got into teenage then adulthood.

What many would consider "woke" in the way I was brought up is, to me, the bare minimum. And that's why it hit me in the face like a baseball bat when I went from this great, though imperfect public school to a private middle school where boys and girls were separated in different classes. Where the students weren't mobilised to collect food for people in need in their local community but rather to pray for them and maybe give a little money to support missionary trips to Africa and things of the sorts. Where the school choir was mostly for learning Christian songs about thanking God for his eternal generosity. I was atheist btw, and attending religion class and masses were mandatory which felt a bit like infringing upon my freedom of religion but whatever I guess!! "Your parents chose to put you here so you don't have a say in the matter." a teacher once said.

So now, let me ask you a question and answer it immediately? Which of those two education systems is better? THE PUBLIC ONE OBVIOUSLY. I LOVED SCHOOL. I LOVED PEOPLE. I LOVE LIVING IN AN OPEN-MINDED COMMUNITY. AND THIS FUCKING PRIVATE CATHOLIC SCHOOL, WHICH ISN'T EVEN THE WORST OF ITS KIND BTW, ALMOST MADE ME FORGET ABOUT THIS LOVE. IT BROKE ME MENTALLY. IT COULD'VE TURNED ME INTO A PERSON I WOULD'VE HATED. AND FOR THAT I CAN NEVER FORGIVE IT. There might have been good individuals in this school, friends I made, teachers who were genuinely great people. But this school system wasn't made to help us grow into good people. You've heard it all before, how it just turns us into good employees how will preserve the system as it is, maintain the status quo.

When people tell me that education is better in private than in public school, it makes me laugh. I was always top of my class in this so called top-notch private school. Even though I was the public school kid. And even then, I would have been fucking humbled by students who spent their entire school years in the public system. Because those private school don't make you smarter, they won't help you get better grades. Even if they did, what good does it do? It's not about the grades. It's about being a person that finds their own path, their own way to live in society. Not necessarily this society, they can build their own. But how are we supposed to rely on each others and find community when we've been taught to always see the other as competition?

I wanted to talk about family structures and how diverse they can be, but I realize now that what I really I wanted to talk about is family as in finding each others, living together, embracing diversity and loving. In your own way, because there are so many different ways of loving, and so many people and things to love. But it's always love. It's caring. And this care for the people and the things about me, I got it from my education.

It's always about education.

#long post #not milgram. you can skip if you're not interested #there must be so many people who've said or written things similar to this on the internet #in much more articulated ways too. but it doesn't mean that my clunky post doesn't care #i like what i wrote here. and I'm proud of myself for putting it down. I'm also proud of my upbringings.#proud of my imperfect parents for doing their best. proud of my public school for teaching us to be people before being students #and I want other kids to know this to. i don't really know how to fight for it yet but i will fight. because i want people to receive love #i didn't reread the entire thing so there might be typos or mistakes. as long as it's understandable it should be fine

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helloalycia · 2 years

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the better sister-in-law [three] // alycia debnam-carey

summary: when your sister bails on accompanying you to you to a work event, Alycia steps in and you’re not too sure you can cope with her being your ‘date’.

warning/s: none.

author's note: this is the last part! it was super fun to write and i’m glad you’re all enjoying it. I’ll probably be posting another wanda imagine after this one and potentially a yelena belova one if i can neaten up my idea 🥰

one | two | masterlist | wattpad

"Well... their arms and legs are still in tact so you didn't do a terrible job," Angus joked, bouncing his daughter in his arms.

Y/S/N slapped him playfully on the arm whilst holding Harry before looking to Alycia and I apologetically. "He's kidding. We're both grateful for you guys babysitting."

"As long as you had a lovely time on your week away, it was all worth it," Alycia said politely, and I rolled my eyes playfully at her sucking up.

"We really did," Y/S/N said with a smile of remembrance. "How were the twins? Not a handful hopefully?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "Piece of cake. We handled it like pros."

Alycia glanced at me with an amused smile, clearly remembering the many times we struggled. But they didn't need to know that, did they?

"Huh," Y/S/N said with surprise. "We may call you both for babysitting duty more often then."

"Well, duh," I agreed. "I'm not the best auntie for no reason."

Alycia shoved me, but a smile was on her lips. I glanced at her and tried to forget that I now learnt I kind of liked her. But she was making it very hard to forget when she wore a heartwarming smile and stared at me with bright eyes.

"What she means to say is that we're happy to babysit whenever you need," Alycia corrected me, looking to my sister and Angus.

"Thanks, Leashy," Angus said with a grateful nod. "We'll let you both go."

Alycia nodded and the two of us said our goodbyes to the twins before heading out the front door. Neither of us said anything as we walked to the end of the front drive, and I wondered when the next time I'd see her would be, though I'd never admit that aloud.

"So, I guess this is it," Alycia spoke first, coming to a stop and smiling at me.

"I guess it is," I agreed, facing her with an oddly nervous smile. "This wasn't a bad week, I must say."

"It wasn't," she agreed, eyes piercing mine and not helping with the random nerves I already had. "Kinda gonna miss seeing your face every morning."

"It's definitely a face to miss," I joked, before grinning at her.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "And you ruined it."

I laughed, glancing out at my car. "I'll see you around, Alycia."

"See you around."

My stomach flipped uncontrollably the longer she stared and I cursed inwardly before turning to head to my car. This was definitely not appropriate and I needed to shut it down before it got worse. Aside from the obvious where she was my sister-in-law, she was also Alycia freakin' Debnam-Carey. Way too cool for me and way too pretty to be even remotely interested in me.

But God, she was so perfect.

—————

It was about a month later when I saw Alycia next. I wasn't really supposed to, at least not in the way that I did, but thanks to my sister and her lack of organisation, I did.

"C'mon, Y/S/N," I pleaded on the phone. "It's just one evening. Some stupid awards evening my work is throwing, but I have to go and the last thing I wanna do is show up alone."

"Y/N, I'm sorry," she said apologetically. "I didn't realise that Angus booked something for us way in advance. I can't get out of it."

I sighed, leaning back into my chair at work. There was nothing I could say to that, but it sucked because I definitely didn't wanna look like a loser with no date or friend fo take to the event.

"What's this?" someone's muffled voice came from the phone, and I recognised it as Alycia.

"Y/N needs someone to go with her to her awards event at work," Y/S/N explained, and I presumed I was on loudspeaker or something.

"Oh," she said, before possibly leaning closer to the phone since she was at normal volume now. "Why can't you just go yourself?"

I narrowed my eyes as if she were stood before me. "Because that's what losers do."

"Well, last time I checked–"

"Shut up, Alycia," I whined, cutting her off, knowing what she was going to say.

She laughed at my dismay, and if I didn't like her so much, I would've hung up.

"Okay, I don't mind going if you want," she said once she'd stopped laughing.

I quirked a brow. "Seriously? You're not busy?"

"Nope. I'm happy to join you. Can't have you looking like a loser, can I?"

Going to an event with Alycia sounded fine in theory, but realistically, my gay arse definitely wouldn't be able to handle it. I couldn't exactly say that though, so I tried to get her out of it.

"I'm totally fine going myself," I began, but she was insistent.

"It's all good, I don't mind," she said kindly, and I cursed inwardly because of course she was as sweet as always.

"See? Problem solved," my sister concluded.

I facepalmed before saying, "Right... well, I guess I'll send you the details, Alycia."

"Sure thing," she agreed. "And I'm gonna pick you up. It's your night after all."

Fuck off.

"You sure? It's really not that big of a deal."

She chuckled. "Obviously I'm sure. And it is!"

And so, that's how I found myself waiting outside of my apartment building two nights later, trying to convince myself that this night would be over in no time. But that was a lot more difficult than I planned, especially when Alycia pulled up in her car wearing a very beautiful hunter green dress that hugged her curves in all the right places.

As I attempted not to drool over her, she left the car and approached me with a grin on her lips, looking way too excited for the event ahead.

"Wow, you clean up well," she teased, before giving me a hug without warning.

"Thanks," I managed to say without stumbling over my words.

When she pulled away, I tried very hard not to combust into thin air because she happened to be staring at me with literal stars in her eyes – seriously, how was that even possible?

"You look really great, Alycia," I continued once I remembered what speaking was. "And thank you for coming tonight. It's not really a big deal, but I have to go and it's kind of embarrassing to turn up alone."

"It's cool, this is gonna be awesome," she insisted, leading me to her car. "Tonight is all about you, love."

I smiled awkwardly, knowing that wasn't what I wanted at all, but Alycia was just the type of person to celebrate someone else so I'd have to put up with it.

"That means you get control of the aux cord on the way there," she added with an adorable laugh, before opening the passenger's door and holding it open for me.

"Gee, thanks," I played along, loosening up a little, and getting in the car.

She winked playfully before closing the door and making her way to the driver's seat.

The drive there wasn't too bad in the sense that I seemed to push aside my feelings for the brunette and fall into our usual banter-driven conversation. By the time we arrived at the hall my work had booked out for the event, I was pretty confident that I could get through the evening without a hitch.

Probably spoke too soon.

Naturally, as Alycia and I made the rounds and acquainted ourselves with my colleagues, everybody thought she was my date. Everybody I worked with knew I was gay, though I'd never introduced them to a girlfriend of mine, so as soon as they saw me with a girl who looked way out of my league, they jumped to conclusions. And it was severely embarrassing, especially when it kept happening.

"No, no, Jen, she's not my– Alycia is my friend– we're sister-in-laws," I struggled to explain for the millionth time this evening.

"Oh, my apologies!" Jen exclaimed with embarrassment. "Well, it's lovely to meet you nonetheless, Alycia."

"You, too," Alycia said with an amused smile, tolerating another assumption without issue.

"I hope you both enjoy your evening," Jen finished, before smiling at me. "Good luck tonight, Y/N."

"You, too," I returned with an uncomfortable smile, feeling my neck growing hotter.

As Jen walked away, I looked to Alycia with apologetic eyes, though she seemed quite content despite the several assumptions made.

"Sorry about all the questions and assumptions," I said, finding it impossible to maintain eye contact with her right now. What the hell was wrong with me tonight? "I didn't think that's how people would– sorry if you're uncomfortable or anything."

She shrugged it off casually. "I'm not, don't worry about it."

I hummed with uncertainty, wondering why I was putting so much pressure on everything. She didn't care, I shouldn't care, why couldn't I just enjoy tonight?

"You know, I saw these tasty looking garlic bread bites at the snacks table," Alycia said, already tugging me towards that side of the room. "Let's try them!"

After spending another few more hours chatting to colleagues and snacking on some really nice food, the evening was coming to a close with my boss announcing all the winners for the awards. It was awkward, standing there amongst my colleagues and Alycia, anticipating my name being called. Nobody knew who was winning what apart from my boss, so the wait basically killed me.

And as the awards went on one by one, I felt my nerves eating away at me because my name hadn't been called once and the thought of Alycia making an effort to come tonight only for me to not win anything was too embarrassing to imagine.

Names kept getting called out and my breath was caught in my throat as the final award for best work ethic was being announced. I was in the midst of imagining how to awkwardly thank Alycia after for attending despite me not winning anything when I heard my name being called from the stage. Only when Alycia nudged me in the arm slightly did I zone back into reality.

"Y/N, that's you!" she exclaimed as the audience began to clap and cheer.

All eyes were on me and I then put two and two together, realising I'd won the final award for tonight.

"Oh, shit, right," I blurted out, and I was so surprised that I almost didn't move to collect the award. Thankfully, Alycia grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently, and gave me a supportive shove in the stage's direction.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat and began to smile awkwardly, approaching the stage. My boss helped me up and said some stuff about how hard of a worker I was and how he was very proud of how far I'd come since starting here, then he motioned for me to look ahead so everyone could take photos.

As I did, I caught Alycia's gaze in the crowd. She was waving her phone in the air, probably videoing the whole thing, and grinning up at me supportively. A genuine smile replaced my current one as I saw how excited she was – it meant a lot to know at least somebody was here for me, even if that someone made me insanely nervous sometimes.

"Before you go," my boss said, once the cheering died down, "I want to add one more thing."

I furrowed my brows with confusion, noticing how everyone else wore similar expressions.

"You've been a great comms assistant these past few years," he continued, before looking out to everyone briefly, "I'm sure everyone here can agree." He looked back to me. "I've thought long and hard about what being a comms manager would be like for you."

My eyes widened at what he was insinuating.

"But that wouldn't fit you," he continued, and that felt like a blow to the chest. He didn't believe I was manager material?

"Oh," I said quietly, wondering why he was doing this right now in front of everyone.

He smiled with amusement. "So, what do you say to being the senior comms manager?"

My jaw dropped as everybody began to cheer at my boss' words. Senior comms manager? I was skipping the position higher than me and being promoted? What?!

"Are you serious?" I asked, blinking back into reality.

He chuckled and put out his hand for me to shake. "Only if you want it, Y/N."

I glanced between his hand and him before nodding frantically, going in for the handshake. "Are you kidding– of course I want it, sir, thank you!"

My excitement getting the better of me, I pulled him in for a quick hug, saying how grateful I was and certain my words weren't coming out in English, before he patted me on the back and I left the stage. As I returned to the audience, I heard him thanking everyone for tonight and bidding us all a good time, but I could barely pay attention as the award was still in my hands and the fact that I was promoted still left me in awe.

"Y/N!" Alycia shouted once the speeches were over and she found me by the stage still. A grin was on her face as she immediately pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me tightly. "That was amazing! I'm so proud of you!"

I was awestruck still, glancing at the award again. "It was, wasn't it?"

She laughed as she waved her phone in the air. "I got the whole thing on video so you can show your family, too."

Swallowing hard, I finally looked up to meet her excited gaze. "Holy shit. I just got promoted."

The crinkles by her eyes deepened as her smile widened. "Yeah, you did."

A grin appeared on my own lips as reality settled in, and I couldn't help but hug her. She chuckled, returning the hug and giving me another squeeze.

"Thank you," I said once I pulled away, still in partial disbelief. "For coming tonight. This could've been very awkward otherwise."

She bit her lip to contain her smile. "Of course, Y/N. I'm thrilled to have been a part of it."

I pressed my lips together, seeing the genuineness in her expression as she maintained eye contact. Any words I had escaped my tongue, but thankfully, we were interrupted before I could appear a fool.

"Y/N, congratulations on the promotion!" one of my colleagues said, and that's how the never-ending congratulatory comments began for the rest of the evening.

By the time I'd spoken to pretty much everyone I worked with, I knew I was ready to pack it in and call it a night, and thankfully, Alycia seemed to get the hint as she left with me.

"I know you said you're tired," she said once we sat in the car, "but d'you wanna get ice cream as a treat for your award?"

I quirked a brow, giving her a sideways glance, wondering if I'd heard right. Judging from her sheepish smile, I had. "What are you – five?" Her smile only widened adorably, making me roll my eyes playfully as I continued, "Of course I want ice cream, Alycia."'

She laughed, already setting off, and I tried to hide the smile on my own lips as she knew me very well.

We went to some dessert shop not far from my place, eating ice cream which she happily treated me to as a congratulations on the award and promotion. It was a lovely sentiment and I was never one to turn down free ice cream. By the time we finished, I was practically falling asleep and she noticed, instantly wrapping up the evening to take me home.

"Wait," I said before we could get in the car. She looked at me from across the top of the car as I yawned before continuing, "Thank you for the ice cream. And the amazing evening in general... honestly, I'm half asleep right now, but I'm sure I'm gonna wake up happy."

She tilted her head slightly, kind eyes meeting mine. "I'm glad."

My tired self could have stared at her pretty smile and comforting eyes all night, but then she told me to get into the car before it got any later, and I was lucky she spoke to stop me from drooling.

Like the wonderful person she was, she took me home and walked me up to my flat door. If I wasn't exhausted, I would have invited her in, so instead, I settled for a final thank you.

"Tonight was really fun," I said to her with a tired smile. "Thanks again for coming."

She rolled her eyes playfully, before saying, "Anytime, love... I'm really proud of you, y'know."

Knowing it was the second time she'd said that to me tonight, I looked anywhere but at her, a little flustered at the attention. What do you even say to that?

"You don't need to say anything," she said, practically reading my mind, and when I looked to her, she was smiling at me adorably.

I returned her smile, much more grateful for the brunette than I'd ever been. She leaned forward to hug me and I relaxed into her hold for the moment, appreciating how good her hugs always were. Maybe it was because I was pretty tired, but I was finally admitting to myself how much I loved her hugs.

When we moved to pull away, I noticed she wouldn't let go, not completely. Her hands still rested on my waist as she stood too close for me to look anywhere but at her lips. I tried to convince myself to look away, but my half-asleep state was convincing me to stay in that position, holding her close and finally making a move.

But I didn't have to.

She leaned closer, pressing her lips to mine softly. I was too tired to acknowledge what was happening at first, then her body pressed to mine, and then my eyes closed, and then all I could seem to focus on was how sweet and slow and amazing her lips felt against mine.

After a moment, we both pulled apart reluctantly and when I opened my eyes, I saw she was already looking my way. Her eyes, half lidded and flickering between my lips and eyes, had my insides shivering all over, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her again.

She seemed to think the same thing as she leaned forward again, though this time I met her halfway, raising my hand to caress her cheek and hold her closely. I guess I hadn't realised just how much I'd wanted to kiss her until we were standing here, making out in the hallway.

Before I could even think about the possible repercussions of our actions, my phone began to ring from my pocket, startling us both and making us pull away at the sound. This seemed to be the wake up call we needed as Alycia awkwardly stepped back, pressing her lips together. I swallowed hard and could barely think straight, not when my lips were still tingling from hers and her perfume was stuck in my nose.

Pulling out my still-ringing phone, I widened my eyes when I saw my sister's name enlarged on the screen. Talk about a coincidence.

I cleared my throat and answered the call, surprised I found my words. "Erm, hello?"

"Y/N!" Y/S/N exclaimed happily. "I hope I'm not interrupting your evening."

My eyes flickered to Alycia, who was playing with her bottom lip with her forefinger and thumb nervously, which certainly wasn't helping with my feelings for her right now.

"You didn't," I assured my sister, quickly looking to my shoes, and hoping she didn't suspect anything out of the ordinary.

"Good! Alycia sent over the video of you winning and getting promoted and I just wanted to congratulate you before the night was over," she said supportively. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it, but Angus and I are very proud of you!"

On cue, Angus shouted in the back of the call, "Congrats, Y/N!"

I felt warmer the longer this call went on. "Thanks, Y/S/N. And Angus. I appreciate it."

"So, what are you and Alycia doing now? Hopefully she made up for me missing it?"

If I was tired before, I definitely wasn't now.

"Oh, er, Alycia actually just dropped me off to my place now."

At the mention of her name, Alycia looked up at me with worried yet curious eyes.

"You didn't fight, right?" Y/S/N joked.

The thought of kissing Alycia moments ago flashed to mind and I could no longer hold the green-eyed girl's gaze for fear I would get even more flustered than I already was.

"No, we didn't fight," I mumbled awkwardly, wincing at the whole situation.

Y/S/N chuckled. "Right, well I'll leave you guys to it and we'll celebrate properly when I see you next. Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight," I said, clutching my phone as I tried to think about what would happen next.

After I hung up and put my phone away, a deafening silence filled the air and neither of us knew what to do or say next. I was certain we'd stand like that forever until she finally said something.

"I've wanted to kiss you for a long time now."

I raised my eyebrows with surprise, glancing up at her. She'd wanted to kiss me? I'd always thought she was way too good for me.

A nervous smile appeared on her lips as she joked, "Please say something, or I'm gonna feel really bad for what just happened."

I stepped forward slightly, shaking my head. "No, don't, I– I really wanted to, too. Kiss you, that is."

Her shoulders relaxed as she raised her brows, a slight smile on her lips. "Oh?"

Nodding, I anticipated her next words.

"Maybe this is something we should talk about then," she said slowly, her voice so quiet as if she was afraid she'd break the moment. "How about tomorrow? I have a meeting in the morning, but maybe after that? Around 10, we could grab a coffee?"

The thought of potentially discussing anything about Alycia and I made me smile with excitement, and I was beginning to get over my initial shock.

"What is this – a date?" I asked jokingly, and I was surprised when her green eyes pierced mine with confidence.

"If you want it to be."

Butterflies were swirling a storm in my stomach and I almost stopped breathing at the way she was staring at me. It was never a look I could imagine her giving me until now, and it was making me feel like a teenager all over again.

"I'd like that," I finally spoke, and her smile widened in response.

She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my cheek, making me insides turn to mush when she met my gaze once more.

"Goodnight, Y/N," she said quietly, lingering for a moment longer as she added, "And congratulations on the promotion once again."

I didn't trust myself to speak and say something not embarrassing, so all I did was nod and stare at her with a dumbstruck smile. She waved goodbye before leaving and only when I was certain she was gone did I jump up in the air with excitement, over the moon at the possibility that Alycia liked me in the way that I liked her.

It was hard to fall asleep that night, when all I could think about was her beautiful smile and pretty green eyes.

————

As agreed, I was sat in a coffee shop waiting for Alycia to arrive following her meeting. I'd like to say I was pretty confident with how things would go, but I'd definitely be lying. Alycia always made me nervous, but I was good at hiding it by teasing her. This was different... she had me in the palm of her hand, whether she knew it or not.

I wasn't kept waiting long when I saw her approaching my table soon enough, though holding a bouquet of flowers to my surprise.

"Hey," she said nervously, a beautiful smile tugging at her lips. She paused, glancing between me and the flowers, before holding them out. "These are for you."

I raised my brows, stunned but also feeling stupid because I didn't get her anything. Accepting the flowers, I looked down at them with fascination, admiring their bright colours.

"Thank you," I breathed out, before looking to her with a guilty smile. "I'm sorry, I should have brought you something. I didn't–"

"No, don't worry about it," she assured me with a chuckle, before her cheeks turned pink and she smiled down at her shoes. "I just wanted to do things the right way and, you know, not come at you all at once."

"I mean, I didn't mind it," I blurted out as a joke, making her laugh, but I turned to the side and widened my eyes at nothing. Why the hell couldn't I stay quiet in awkward situations?

"I'm gonna get a coffee," she said, and I looked to her again, trying not to get caught up in how pretty she looked this morning, "do you want anything? My treat."

"Oh, no, you don't have to–"

"My treat," she repeated, giving me a playful eye roll. "Forget it. You get the same order every time. I'll be right back."

Leaving me no room to argue, she flashed me a smile before going to the till to order. I took a deep breath, trying not to overthink anything, and took a seat at the booth I was in, setting the flowers down on the tabletop. Not long later, Alycia returned with our drinks and sat opposite me, taking her jacket off.

"Thanks for the drink," I said to her, wrapping my fingers around the cup so I had something to do with my hands. She smiled in response, mirroring my action, and I swallowed hard before admitting, "I still can't believe last night happened."

"Me either," she agreed, before running a hand through her hair, "but I'm glad it did... if it wasn't obvious, I like you, Y/N."

Resorting to my usual defence mechanism when it came to situations, I joked, "Are you sure? You're at least a ten and I'm, at most, a seven."

She tilted her her head forward, narrowing her eyes judgementally. "Y/N."

"I mean, I'm not lying..."

"Y/N!"

"Okay, okay," I stopped, licking my lips before sitting up straight. "Look, I... I like you, too, Alycia. A lot. And I'm glad you made the first move because I don't think I ever would have."

Despite how annoying I was to her, she began to smile and I knew I hadn't messed up completely.

"I can see this going somewhere," she said gently, "and I'd like to give us a shot. If you want."

I bit my lip to contain my smile. "You're kidding, right? If I want? Of course I want. What kind of idiot would I be if I didn't?"

She rolled her eyes at my comment, but that familiar smile that adorned her lips whenever I spoke returned, making my insides go warm and fuzzy.

"We can start off slow," she said, meeting my gaze. "See what happens."

"No pressure," I agreed, smiling. "Doesn't have to be weird or anything."

"And we don't need to tell anyone unless we're comfortable," she added. "Sounds good to me."

"Oh, yeah, first thing I'm doing is calling Y/S/N to let her know I landed her husband's sister," I said sarcastically, making her stifle a laugh.

"I don't think she'd believe you anyway," she pointed out, before tilting her head to the side with amusement. "Do you?"

The thought of telling Y/S/N I was dating Alycia was hilarious to me, since everything was purely competition with us.

"Can you blame her?" I retorted knowingly.

Alycia laughed, the sound lighting up the whole shop in an instant. "Not at all."

God, I could have listened to her all day long.

————

It was safe to say that Alycia and I made it work following our revelations. We took it slow, like we agreed, and took our time with each other. It was amazing to be able to take her on dates and vice versa, and get comfortable ‘dating’ rather than being just friends, without the concern of everyone knowing.

We didn’t tell anyone anything, not until we were sure that this would actually go somewhere… and it did. We went on several dates together before officially naming each other ‘girlfriend’, and though it was a small difference, it meant the world to me. I could actually call her my girlfriend and it gave me butterflies every time.

Of course, with Alycia being famous, it meant that we had to be careful when out in public. If we were ever caught together, it was easy to say we were just sister-in-laws, and we knew that would be something to talk about soon, but we weren’t concerned about that just yet.

We joked, regularly, what it would be like when Y/S/N and Angus actually found out about us, since it would be very unexpected. It’s not that we didn’t want to share it with them, it was just about how we would do that.

I unintentionally made that a lot easier on us.

We were hanging out at Y/S/N and Angus’ place one afternoon when we were free and wanted to see the kids. I didn’t even realise what I’d done until it was too late. Alycia was planning to stay a little longer than I, so I got ready to leave and shouted a bye to my sister and Angus.

“Drive safe!” Angus called back from the kitchen, as Y/S/N hummed in agreement.

“Always do,” I returned with a smile before walking towards the hall, but not before passing Alycia on the couch.

She leaned her head backwards over the back of the couch, giving me an adorable grin, as she said, “See you later, Y/N.”

Subconsciously, I bent down and gave her a short but sweet goodbye kiss, like we always did whenever leaving one another. But I completely forgot that her brother and my sister were still watching us, and only when I heard Angus choke on his drink did I pull away with wide eyes. Alycia’s smile disappeared as she, too, looked up at me with wide eyes.

“Er… Y/N?” Y/S/N called with a questioning expression, searching for an answer to what just happened.

I straightened up, scratching the back of my head nervously as I felt everyone’s eyes on me. “I, er, do that all the time when I say goodbye,” I blurted awkwardly, before swallowing hard and looking to the kids. “See?”

To prove my point, I gave Harry and Cleo a quick kiss on the lips before saluting to the others and forcing a smile that wasn’t panicked. Alycia facepalmed at my stupidity and I tried to use confidence to my advantage, walking out the living-area and to the front door, leaving a stunned silence behind. But when I was actually about to leave, I sighed, deciding to head back inside.

“Okay, so I’m aware that that was very unbelievable,” I admitted, looking in Angus and Y/S/N’s direction but avoiding their eyes.

“God, you’re such an idiot…,” Alycia mumbled with disbelief, before setting Cleo down on the floor and standing up. “Okay, guys, so since Y/N here is an idiot–”

“Hurtful!”

“–we may as well come clean,” she finished, ignoring my frown and moving to stand beside me. Holding my hand, she tugged me forward and looked to Y/S/N and Angus. “We’re dating.”

Angus raised his brows with disbelief, looking between us, our joined hands and our faces as if trying to put it all together. Meanwhile, Y/S/N’s jaw dropped for so long that I was sure flies were making a home in there.

“It would really help if one of you said something,” I added with a nervous smile.

Y/S/N finally closed her mouth, resting a hand on Angus’ arm and exchanging glances with him, before she straightened up and looked between us both.

“Sorry, we’re just–” She swallowed awkwardly. “We’re surprised is all. I’m sure you can imagine our confusion.”

Alycia smiled nervously. “It’s fine, we get it. But at least it’s out there now.”

Angus squinted his eyes, still trying to believe us. “Wait, so how long have you been dating?”

“Erm, about three months,” I answered, feeling Alycia’s fingers playing with mine nervously. “We didn’t want to say anything until we were sure this was going somewhere. And then we just tried to find the best time to tell you.”

They nodded, still not sure what else to say. I glanced at Alycia, noticing her green eyes flickering between them before meeting mine, as if to say ‘what now?’ I shrugged, pulling a face, just as confused as her.

“Congrats, guys,” Y/S/N said, standing up and pulling a baffled Angus up with her. She smiled, a proper smile, though mild confusion was still present in her eyes. “Sorry we reacted like this. It’s not that we don’t agree, and obviously you don’t need our permission, but we’re just processing. But yes, congrats to you both for– for, erm–”

“…becoming girlfriends?” Angus added with the intention of making sense, but Y/S/N gave him a questioning glance.

I tried not to laugh as I answered, “We got it. Thanks, guys. It’s a relief that you finally know.”

They both sighed with relief, probably glad they hadn’t offended us, and we all looked to each other before hesitantly moving forward to hug. The awkwardness left as soon as we hugged one another, them looking genuinely happy for us as the truth settled.

“So, Alycia, huh?” Y/S/N muttered in my ear playfully when hugging me, before quirking an eyebrow when she pulled away.

I snickered. “Funny, right? She’s way out of my league.”

“Y/N, darling, please stop telling everyone that,” Alycia said over her brother’s shoulder as she hugged him, giving me an unimpressed look.

“Sorry,” I said with a sheepish smile before looking to my sister and whispering, “It’s true.”

Y/S/N laughed. “I’m happy for you. Both of you. I can kinda see it now. You two always had some sort of competition in the works. Maybe now you’ll finally work together for once.”

“Oh, no, don’t get it wrong,” I corrected her, shaking my head. “Alycia may be my girlfriend, but that changes nothing. I’m still the superior sister-in-law, auntie and now girlfriend. She knows her place.”

“Sorry, love, what was that?”

Alycia appeared by my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and looking to me with intense eyes and a raised eyebrow. I usually wouldn’t get shaken by her attempt at being intimidating, but I also knew that she would leave me touch-starved for days if I ever said anything she didn’t like. A very tough situation indeed.

“I don’t think you have the hold on her that you think you do, Leashy,” Angus said with amusement when I didn’t speak.

Alycia put her finger up at him, motioning for him to be quiet momentarily. She tilted her head, still daring me to disagree with her, and I was beginning to forget what English was as she held my gaze.

“Who’s the better sister-in-law, auntie and girlfriend, Y/N?” she asked, making me swallow hard.

My ancestors would be very disappointed in me right now, but I would have liked to see them defy a beautiful yet intimidating Australian with the power to make them suffer.

“You are,” I agreed reluctantly, making her smile appear.

“Holy shit,” Y/S/N said as Alycia scrunched her nose and kissed me on the cheek. “I think you finally tamed Y/N.”

I hung my head in shame as Alycia laughed alongside my sister and Angus.

“What was it she said moments ago?” Alycia said, pretending to think. “Oh, that’s it. She knows her place.”

Hoping to redeem myself somehow, I looked up, ready to retort that I was only agreeing with her to avoid a scene (which we all knew would be a lie), but as soon my eyes caught hers again, I knew I couldn’t say anything more.

She had a hold on me, whether I liked it or not. But her… she definitely liked it.

#alycia debnam carey x you #alycia debnam carey #alycia debnam carey x reader #alycia debnam carey imagine

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shadyreviewengineer · 2 years

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Sweet Magnolias Season 2

Its here! I have so far watched it twice, and here are my unasked for thoughts, hope you enjoy

Also - SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS

So in no particular order -

- Somehow it didn't feel like SM, did anyone else get that? I still enjoyed it, and I don't know what it was, I think maybe because they used different music during transitions, but something felt off (still good though)

- Ok, I find it annoying sometimes when writers need to add something in to a show after the firsts season, but end up doing it jarringly, however I liked that anything they needed to add in the s02 they definitely did due diligence throughout the season, it didn't come out of the blue when Cal lost control and got arrested.

Eg - Cal's anger management issues. They defiantly hinted at it throughout the season, many times, even if they did do it a bit clunkily

- Dana Sue's health issues mysteriously vanishing, I get them not being a main plot point, but the fact they weren't mentioned once? Sus

- Annie and Jackson. Dare I say, maybe one of my favourite redemption arcs since Zuko lol. So, I am definitely team Tyler, however I love this paring, I love Jackson's actor and their storyline.

My issue with the storyline though is that one of my least favourite troupes is when they have two characters cheat on their partners with each other and we're supposed to root for them because they're 'endgame'. It always completely turns me off the characters and I really hope that Jackson and Annie don't end up in that situation and their breakup feels organic. I kind of hope Jackson's family have to move when his Dad's been disgraced and is no longer mayor and thats why they break up.

- I felt like the adult side got more love and screentime this season, and I'm not happy about it. I don't know if the demographic is mostly older so they wanted to lean more to that, but I wish the youngsters had had more screentime.

- Esepcially Cece. How could they do her dirty like this? She was iconic in s01 and she was hardly there in s02. At least her reasons for breakup with Ty felt in charcter for her, but it did bug me when Ty said 'you hurt me' and Cece said 'no I didn't'. Like, yes, Cece may be more hurt and have more right to be hurt, and yes Ty might have blown her off for a bit too, but you can't decide when you've upset someone or not Cece.

- my faves Aunty Helen and Annie had like no scenes together #werevoltatdawn

- Kyle, Ty, and Annie weren't talking for awhile, and I get that things ended weirdly, and we did have Kyle blow up at Annie, and Annie mentioning that there was too much drama with her usual group, but I wish we'd kind of got more explanation on screen? Like seen them together being awkward a bit more? idk, it just felt jarring that these kids that were supposed to be like siblings wouldn't manage to band together after such a big shock and one of them almost dying?

Also wish we'd gotten more of them coming back together? They just kind of made up in one meeting again. Yes it be like that when you've known someone forever, but also, it would have been nice to see a few more meetings

Basically it felt like the writers didn't know what to do/where to take them/didn't want to give them too much screen time and so separated the kids for practically the whole season idk, it might be just me

- Although I did like how they made Kyle and Tyler argue and make up, and Tyler taking the reins as the oldest kid and trying to make nice with everyone was sweet.

- Also Kyle, Sophie, and co making the video game was so sweet and fun

- Although I completely misread Sophie, I thought there was gonna be drama with Nellie and her for Kyle, but actually Sophie recognised Kyle's feelings and encouraged them. Good for her.

- Gutted for Helen, I just wanted to give her a hug.

- Also, Helen's set up for next season is killing me.

OK, s01 Helen was kind of with Ryan, kind of flirting with Erik, and s02, she's with Eric. We've done the Eric/Ryan who will she chose thing, and then Ryan reappears, and I don't know if I'll be more annoyed about them making an unclimactic cliff hanger like this time, or dragging it out all season and basically give her the same storyline as s01 but with more complications, but Helen should've told Ryan about the baby if she wanted to and drawn a line under him and that shoudve been season 2's Ryan, gone for good.

- Also, s01 Jackson makes me completely understand why Tyler would be suspicious of him and Annie hanging out. Jackson sent Annie's drunk, love declaration voice note to the whole school. Tyler being weary of Jackson because he hanging out with Annie is entirely plausible in a completely platonic way. Yes, I want it to be because Tyler has realised his feelings, but also, I think Cece assuming it was just co Ty liked Annie was a but ott, maybe if there had been other instances that could have rose suspicion, but in s02 there wasn't really, and I can't think of many on s01. And I do understand sometimes when you're dating someoen or kow them well you just know when they have feelings or whatever, but we're talking about a couple of 17yo with very little prior expericne (if any) with relationships who've been dating a few months at most.

- Also, no married, never been in a relationship, but I don't understand Maddie's reaction when Bill tells her about Issac? Like, yes I can understand her being upset and furious, but because of the her kids, but she says things which I understand, except that Bill didn't know. He had no idea, and so yes he made the same mistake twice and he is an idiot and moron, but if you didn't know you'd made the mistake the first time, can that really be held against you? and i personally think we can see from the Noreen situation that if he had known he would probably have done his best to do right by Peggy instead of his existing (if 'not serious') gf maddie

I mean, I'm not mad Bill got yelled at, because he can never get yelled at enough , but just some of the arguments I didn't understand where Maddie was coming from

- THE COFFEE THING at least we got to see Aunt Helen with Ty, even if there was no Aunt Helen and Annie

- the costumes were on fire. why am i, a 21 yo, vibing with Helen and Maddie's outfits so much?

- Finally can we takl about the grown up adult woman walking up to a teenager her insulting her? That is so funny

#sweet magnolia's #sweet magnolias netflix #sweet magnolias tv show #love this show

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rogue-durin-16 · 3 years

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THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part II/VII)

"candy floss"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @leovaldez37 @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: grief, feels, brief mention of Fred x Reader ig?

A/N: I decided to name the parts bc why the fuck not so keep an eye on the titles 👀. This story is based off this convo and these headcanons. If you wanna be tagged in the next parts tell me, and enjoy <3

Prologue :the aftermath

Part I : sleepless nights

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The moment the last group of customers decided it was time to call it a day and exited the shop, I left the till counter and grabbed my wand from my pocket, instantly turning the sign in the door so it could be read from outside 'closed'.

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned against the multicolored wooden rail.

I was drained.

The shop helped our minds to get distracted and stray from the grief, yes, but it was also exhausting.

We had been subconsciously overworking ourselves to the point where it was borderline self-destructive.

It didn't help that I was throwing myself into comforting George, either. I could not be blamed for doing that, though; he was broken.

A part of me, the rational one, knew he would pick up the pieces and build himself up again, it would just take a lot of time.

There was another part of me, though, that depressed, drained part, that was beginning to think he would never heal by himself —maybe he wouldn't heal at all— but still held onto the hope that, if I tried hard enough, I would be able to mend what had been broken in him.

A terrible idea, really, because I started to dismiss in its entirety my own miserable, damaged state.

And George, ever the caring, sensible one, would have noticed that; he would have made me realize I was not doing nearly as well as I thought, he would have talked some sense into me, but he wouldn't— he couldn't, because George was lost in an ocean of grief, trying so hard not to drown that he wasn't able to notice I was trying to aid him from my very own sinking boat.

It also seemed to be working; he was more animated, slept more soundly, and his smile was a bit brighter even —at least the one he had for me.

"Rough day?" My eyes, which I didn't know I had closed, fluttered open at George's voice.

"Very."

He walked to me with a tinge of guilt in his face. "You know we can switch places, right?" I had been working as the public face of the shop since we had reopened, and George had taken on the task of doing the paperwork and shippings instead, showing up from time to time to help me and to let people know there was still a Weasley running the business.

I had been the one to suggest this, since I knew George had compromised with reopening only because of me, and he was clearly not ready to put up a sociable, positive attitude for dozens of people every day.

"Nah, it's fine like this." I assured him with a reassuring smile.

He measured me with his eyes for a second; I couldn't really tell if he saw through me or not. "So I was preparing the today's shippings," he rocked a tiny purple basket I quickly recognised in front of me. "I found this in the back of the stockroom."

"Are those—?"

"Candy floss cupcakes, yes." A year and a half ago we had bought five baskets of candy floss cupcakes from Honeydukes per George's request in order to unsuccessfully try and implement them.

"Are they even edible anymore?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"I hope so?" He chuckled too, tearing the film covering the sweets. "Thought we might as well finish them."

My eyes travelled from the basket to him and viceversa before stating, "well I'm hungry so..."

"Same here." He was the first one to pull out a pastel colored cupcake, though he handed it to me. "Wanna get food poisoning together?" Laughing, I gave him a nod as he grabbed his own cupcake. "At the count of three?"

"One"

"Two"

"Three." We said in unison right before taking a bite of our respective madeleines.

I frowned at its surprisingly good flavour. "Am I delirious or are they actually edible?"

"Dunno," he shoved the rest of his cupcake into his mouth with a shrug. "maybe we're just starving."

"Go big or go home, I guess." I finished my cupcake before leaning on the basket to pick another one. My head snapped up with my brow quirked when I heard a soft chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing." George shook his head, motioning at the stairs. "Shall we sit down?" I followed his lead, sitting on the stairs and waiting for him, who had stepped towards the drinks aisle to grab a couple of juice bottles, to do the same.

We stayed there, eating and drinking in a comfortable silence until the basket was empty and our eyelids threatened to shut.

"I think we should head back to the flat." He spoke, leaving the half empty juice aside so he could stretch.

"I'm gonna learn how to cook." I stated, getting up. "We can't get by based on most likely expired sweets and whatever is in the Leaky Cauldron menu."

"Aight." He mimicked my actions, picking up the stuff we left on the stairs. "We will learn the basics tomorrow." He got behind me and began to gently push in the flat's direction. "But now we're gonna get some sleep, miss."

I would be lying if I said my heartbeat didn't pick up when his hands landed on my shoulder blades and made their way to rub both my arms reassuringly.

I would be lying if I denied I leaned back when he did that, letting myself get closer to his chest.

And I would definitely be lying if I said I didn't crave going back to my room so I could cuddle him all night.

One Week Later

"—right in the cauldron, love." I pointed at the cauldron besides me, giving a sweet smile to the kid in front of me, visibly going to be sick thanks to the free sample of Skiving Snackboxes.

"Y/n!" I spun around at the loud calling of my name above the shop's racket. I was able to discern a long, red mane flowing fast towards my position right on time for the owner to wrap her arms around me.

"Glad to see you too, Ginny." I laughed, trying not to lose balance due to her enthusiasm. "How come you're here?" I questioned, pulling away.

"We heard you were open." Harry walked up to me, appearing from behind the girl, "And thought we'd pay a visit to our friends, right?" Ginny nodded, looking around while Harry gave me a quick, yet comforting hug. "Where's George?"

I motioned up to the small office, redirecting the couple's eyes to the second floor. "Doing paperwork—AH!" I jolted when a pair of hands tickled my sides, my head snapping to see the towering ginger standing behind me. "Speaking of the devil."

"I thought I saw Gin through the window," George explained, his hands lingering on my waist for long enough to his sister to stare, before pulling Ginny into a tight hug. "And came down to check if she was distracting my employee."

"You got her all bored here, mate." Harry pointed out, a light joking tone in his voice.

"And you're the one supposed to help with that?" George rolled his eyes dramatically. "Pfft... What a world we live in." With the said, he gave the boy a side hug. I heard Harry murmur an 'We missed you' before they pulled away with a pat on the shoulder.

My gaze landed on the youngest Weasley, whose welled up eyes were trained on her older brother's half smile. I only averted my eyes and waited for her to discreetly wipe away the unspilled tears while Harry and George catched up.

By the letters she had sent me, I reckoned the last time she had been near George, he had been lifeless; seeing a glimpse of who was once one of the most cheerful, funny and charismatic people in her life, was probably poignant to Ginny.

I hadn't realized she had moved closer until I didn't hear her soft voice. "Thank you." I offered her a confused smile, though deep down I knew what she meant.

Two Days Later

George was having one of those days.

We both knew it was coming soon; it had to happen sooner rather than later, since he had been in a surprisingly good mood for almost a week. I suspected seeing Harry and Ginny had brought back the events of the Second of May.

I suggested to close the shop for the day, since he was unable to move out of bed; he refused to do so, but I convinced him to stay in the flat and rest —it was Tuesday, anyway; I wouldn't have to handle many customers.

Due to that, when I saw Hermione, Ron, Bill and Fleur entered the shop, it was understandable that I hadn't become the happiest person in the world.

I greeted them, there were hugs, kisses, and even a joke or two, and when Bill asked about George, I excused him without giving much detail.

They understood.

Fleur was the one to restart the conversation, lightening a bit before requesting a tour for the shop, since she had not yet been there.

It was when we reached the love potions that Hermione, using the fact that Fleur was very much interested in the product, held my hand and pulled me aside.

"So... how are you doing?" The frown in her face, the fact that she was whispering, the squeeze her hand gave mine, let me know she had read me the moment her eyes met mines.

I sighed with a shrug.

"You can tell me." Could I? "No one's asking you to put on a happy face, Y/n." The girl assured me, her eyes digging into mines. "It's not just George, we all lost—" she shook her head at her own words before correcting herself. "you lost him too."

I lost him too.

I bit my lower lip to stop it from quivering.

The memory of Fred's broken smile as his corpse laid on the stretcher, that memory that haunted my dreams, appeared vividly before my eyes.

My lips started to burn with the ghost of that kiss he gave me before we split up, him with Percy and me with George; it hadn't been meant to be a goodbye kiss. It was meant to be a good luck kiss.

I covered my mouth to muffle a sob, and Hermione's arms were quick to be wrapped around me, reassuringly rubbing my back.

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I saw them entering from Y/n's balcony; I wasn't emotionally ready to face them all at the same time, but when I didn't see them exit, I figured Y/n hadn't been able to dismiss them.

I decided I owed to them all to bite the bullet, so I threw on a shirt and the first trousers I grabbed, cleaned up a bit and left the flat.

With a deep breath, I made it to the second floor and mentally prepared myself to go down to the first one.

As I began to climb down, though, I noticed Hermione and Y/n talking in private, closer than the others to the stairs.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but all my senses were automatically focused on Y/n whenever we were in the same room; she just stole me away from reality.

"You lost him too."

Hermione's words visibly triggered something on Y/n.

'Something', as if I didn't know what they had triggered, as if I didn't know what— who was on her mind.

I guess he was always on her mind, though.

What was left of my heart shattered in a million pieces when she broke down to tears —for several reasons—. "I miss him." She whispered in Hermione's shoulder. "I miss him so much."

If I had any tears left, I would have cried my eyes out right there. Had I been so selfish that I had disregarded how she was feeling? So blinded by the light and love and warmth she was constantly giving me that I had forgotten about her grief? Was I that bad of a person, that I would have rather live in the illusion that she had not lost the boy she was dating?

My mind told me I didn't want any of those questions answered.

"George!" As Ron yelled my name in surprise, Hermione and Y/n pulled away, the latter rubbing her eyes while both of my brothers jogged upstairs to hug me. "Ginny told us you're open—"

"But Y/n said you weren't feeling well." Bill finished, squeezing my shoulder. "We only stayed a little longer for Fleur to see the shop."

"Yeah, we'll come back tomorrow," Ron assured me. "So you can rest and..."

My brother's voice sounded further and further with each word; I felt myself drifting off, getting lost in my own mind and gravitating towards the same thought over and over.

She deserves better.

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softsebnbuckystan · 3 years

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Soul ties - Part 8 (Bucky Barnes au)

“No, I don't wanna know, Where you been or where you're goin'

But I know I won't be home, And you'll be on your own”

Maniac by Michael Sembello was blasting from Wanda's room as she was going through her closet, looking for something you could wear at the party. You were tapping your feet to the beat and shaking your head softly.

"This is perfect," Wanda said as she handed you jean shorts and a T-shirt. Finding something in your style had been hard, but the outfit turned out really cute on you. "And before you ask, I still have your plaid shirt if you want to wear that."

Your sister knew you too well ; or maybe it was just her ability to read minds. You were pretty sure it was a mix of both. You looked at your watch : five in the afternoon were already passed and you knew Nat was supposed to arrive soon, so you went to the kitchen after changing. Actually, she was already there.

"Nat!"

"Happy birthday, girl! How do you feel about hitting thirty, huh?"

"Surprisingly good, to be honest," you answered as you hug her tight. "I'm glad you came by."

"Me too. Steve told me pretty interesting news about some guy." She wiggled her brows, making you raise yours.

"Not that interesting. Yes, he is my supposed soulmate, but I got married last week, not matter how that's turning out."

"Yeah, sorry I couldn't be there, by the way. However, if I trust Steve's words..."

"Don't? Please." You smiled, making her laugh. You really must've sounded desperate, or in denial – or, once again, both.

"Fine. But I can't promise I'll hold back my thoughts."

"I know you won't," you joked. "Anyway, is the cake already here?" You asked Sam.

"No, Bucky's not back yet."

"Oh, alright. I thought since he left early..."

"He had stuff to do, apparently." He shrugged, showing he didn't know any more than you did. A smirk appeared on his face. "Miss him already?"

"Ugh, I hate you all."

"No, you don't!"

Everyone around you laughed and, frankly, you couldn't hold it in either. These people always had a way of making you forget about your problems, and Darren hadn't crossed your mind until now. Hours went by and more people arrived at the compound. It wasn't supposed to be a big party, but Tony was obviously unable to resist to Peter Parker asking if he could tag along. This kid loved being around here, maybe as much as you did. Once eight hours rang, almost everyone was there, except for Bucky. You were sure he'd eventually show up, even though you couldn't help but feel a little anxious while everyone shared champagne bottles.

"Alright, close your eyes," Sam said, dragging you out of your thoughts. He put his hands on your eyes as you giggled softly.

"What is it now, you asked?"

"Patience, lady."

You couldn't see anything – obviously – but you soon heard voices around you singing you a happy birthday. When Sam removed his hands, your eyes took some time to adjust to the sparkling candles on the big birthday cake. More importantly, it took you a second to recognise the man carrying it. Where had his hair gone?

"Your hair," you whispered once he was close enough.

He shrugged. "C'mon, the candles will melt if you don't blow them out." His own smile quickly spread to your face as you blew out your thirty candles. Everyone applauded and Bucky started cutting it so that people could help themselves. Once seated next to him, you took a bite of your own piece and closed your eyes in delight.

"Raspberries. I love those."

"Yeah, Wanda said it was your favourite," he told you before eating a chunk of cake. "How do you like the party so far?"

"I love it. Everyone I love is here, so I couldn't be happier, really." You didn't even think about what you were saying. Tony's champagne did that to you for sure.

"Everyone?"

"Of course, why do you ask?" You gave him a confused look before it dawned on you. "Oh, I know. Well if he's not here by now, I guess that means something."

"Well I'm not the one saying it. It's your night, anyway, so let's not talk about him and let you have fun." He gently poked your arm – you felt delighted, as it was him who'd made the move this time. It felt as if he was becoming more comfortable around you : you'd noticed he'd been laughing with you a lot more frequently these last few days.

"So, why the new haircut?"

"I wanted some change. New me, old me, I guess." He took a sip of his beer.

"I like it. Can I have some?" You pointed at the bottle. He gladly handed it to you ; damn, this man did not know what one beer might do to you, especially after champagne.

Wanda spotted you from across the room and stopped walking towards you, interrupting her conversation with Scott Lang.

"I hope that's your first drink tonight," she said with a grin. "You don't want to expose your party demon now, do you?"

You chuckled at Bucky's scared eyes. "I'm taking this back," he said, taking his beer back and finishing it.

"Don't worry, Bucky. I'm fine. I'm just a little more outgoing when I drink, that is all."

A screeching sound made you turn your head : Steve had just plugged a microphone into the speakers.

"Alright, so, as you all know, tonight's Y/n's thirtieth birthday. For the occasion, I'm sure she'll gladly treat us to a speech now."

If looks could kill, Steve would've died on the spot, super soldier or not. You never had inspiration for that kind of stuff.

"C'mon guys, she needs some encouragement," Sam chimed in.

Tony and Peter both whoo'ed at you with huge smiles, and you had no other choice than going on that improvised stage which consisted of the space between the speakers. You took the microphone from Steve's hand and Nat handed you a beer.

"Oh my, thanks for that," you said, chuckling. "I want to thank you all for coming. You might have known me for a while, or not, but hum...you guys are family. I couldn't be happier to celebrate thirty years on Earth with you." You raised your bottle in front of you. "To found family."

Everyone drank to that, and you jumped as Sam placed his hand on your shoulder and started speaking in another mic.

"So many emotions there, I love to see it. Now we're not done with you. Remember that night in Brooklyn?"

"Oh no."

"Oh, yeah... we're gonna do it. And you're gonna love it, don't you dare say otherwise."

You stared at Sam before downing your drink. He was damn right.

"Okay Scott, fire away!"

"Toniiight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time..." Sam started singing this fabulous bop as the music soared in the air. You obviously joined him right away.

"I'm burning through the skyyyyy, yeah." You probably were not singing right, but you couldn't have cared less. Everyone around you was singing – more like yelling – along and you finally let go of your last inhibitions. You were singing and dancing, pretending you were the international rock star giving a representation. For once, you saw a wide smile on Bucky's face that couldn't seem to go away, and you decided to have fun with him a little. You pointed at him and smiled as you basically jumped to the beat.

"I'm a sex machine ready to reload like an atom bomb about to oh, oh, oh, oh exploooode!"

He couldn't help but laugh and he even started tapping his feet to the beat as well. You went back to Sam and you ended the song back to back, definitely yelling more than you were actually singing.

"See, I told you you'd love it!" he exclaimed.

You laughed out loud before handing the mic to Scott. "You have fun now, I gotta rest for a sec."

You happily got back to Wanda and Bucky as Scott and Sam were joined by Peter to keep this improvised karaoke going. Your sister was less than surprised, since this wasn't the first party she had with you. Bucky, on the other hand...

"I didn't know you could do that," he said with a grin.

"What, absolutely slay the day with a mic in my hand? Hell yeah I can, only after some drinks though."

"Yeah, I don't know if your cheeks are this red from drinks, dancing or just regular blush."

You chuckled at his laugh, even placing your hand on his shoulder while doing so. When your eyes were done squinting from all the laughs, you froze.

"Darren, I-"

"That science guy let me in."

Bruce shot you a sorry look, raising his hands in the air. "He wouldn't let me ask you for your opinion first anyway."

Damn, you hadn't realised how much everyone disliked your husband. After all, no one had ever been rude to his face, unlike his friends. Bucky turned around to face him and crossed his arms over his chest : his smile was long gone now, as if it had been only a fever dream.

"You put on quite a show there."

"Wow, so not even a 'happy birthday', huh?" You didn't even look down this time : you stared at him, no trace of a smile on your lips. "When I said you could come if you wanted to, I didn't say that so you could come and be condescending."

"I'm not gonna wish you a happy birthday after I saw you hit on that guy in a fucking song!" he yelled, pointing at Bucky. Darren's anger was so unjustified that you would've laughed at him, hadn't you been remotely nice and equally angry at him.

Bucky didn't say a word as he slowly put Darren's hand down. You noticed he'd used his metal arm, even though you knew for a fact he was right handed and usually prioritised his dominant hand. That was quite passive-agressive ; you held back a smile.

"Do you even hear what you're saying?" Keeping your cool was not an option anymore, and you walked away from everyone. Contrary to Darren's belief, you didn't like 'putting on a show'.

"We're going home, now," he said firmly. "Your little crisis lasted long enough."

"My crisis? You've left me alone at home for days and now you expect me to come back? You're unbelievable, Darren. And you started pulling this shit before we were even engaged!"

"You never complained about this, so why do it now?"

"Because I can't take it anymore! Is that so hard to believe? Is it hard to understand that I want to be treated the way I deserve?"

You ran a hand through your hair, looking at Darren in disbelief as the anger in his eyes just grew harder.

"You know what?" you continued. "If you have nothing better to say, I might as well just go back to the people who really love me. As far as I'm concerned, this" — you gestured at the both of you – "is over."

You turned around, feeling a huge confidence boost that still wasn't strong enough to overcome your disappointment.

"What's that on your back?" His voice was so low compared to seconds earlier that you looked back at him.

"What?"

He walked up to you fast, but too slowly not to be noticed by Steve and Bucky, who'd been watching the scene carefully. Despite their obvious strength, they couldn't get to you before Darren violently lifted the back of your t-shirt, scratching your back with his nail at the same time. You let out a cry and next thing you knew, Darren was pinned against the wall, held back by Bucky's arm.

"You lied," he whispered. "You do have a tattoo."

Damn. You had always been careful to wear high waisted jeans. All it took was one careless pair of shorts. You had no answer to give to him, so Darren looked at Bucky instead.

"It's you. Right? I fucking knew it." He looked back at you. "I should've known you weren't to be trusted around other guys. You're such a-"

"I think you should leave." Steve had laid his hand on his friend's shoulder to try and calm him down. Bucky let go of your husband and shot you a side glance to check on you. You were crossing your arms on your chest and your eyes had never been more interested in the floor.

"Steve's right," you uttered. "You should go." You walked away with these words. You hadn't even noticed there was no longer any music playing in the room. Silence was oppressing and everyone seeing you cry was not an option. You walked to your room in daze. Once you felt the door closing behind you, you allowed yourself to break down. It was a knock on the door that made you tilt your head up a few minutes later.

--- You have no idea how excited I am for part 9!!! If I wasn't strictly following my self-imposed rule of having two unpublished chapters at all times, I would post it right away. x) I hope you liked this one!! Feel free to give me any notes you may have : I improve thanks to readers.

Message me if you want to be added to the tag list (seeing it grow is making me so happy)!

Tag list :

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @coniumalces @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #james bucky barnes #self insert #captain america #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #cacw #catws #fanfiction #x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader

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ssamie · 3 years

Text

nine. reki?!

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry

gen masterlist. “snow” masterlist.

"Y/N I FOUND YOU!" reki exclaimed as he sprinted towards her

"man, you guys sure were fast" he said "i almost lost you guys in the trail" the redhead tripped way too many times as he struggled to avoid the random bushes and twigs sticking from the forest grounds

"Y/N!" reki grinned as he finally came to a halt before her

though she didn't respond and simply blinked as she stared at him wide-eyed as if she was seeing a ghost. "uh- y/n?" reki sweat dropped as he poked her cheek

the redhead then sighed and flicked her right in the forehead, making her yelp and gently cradle the sore spot. "y/n!" he yelled again, this time with a soft laugh of amusement

"reki?!" y/n shrieked out as she finally snapped out of whatever daydream she was in.

reki laughed and pinched her cheeks with his hands, squishing her already heating up face as she gapes up at him in disbelief "took ya long enough" reki mused "did you miss me?" he asked

"y-yeah! i missed you!" she stammered out as she placed her hands on reki's cheeks and lightly pinched them as well. she and reki chuckled, encaging each other in their arms as the boys watch their interaction.

"you did so great! i saw you do your trick again!" reki exclaimed as he shook her shoulders excitedly. "thanks! i also did stuff that you taught me!" she smiled as she let reki shake her up as he pleased

"also how are you here? adam said he didn't invite you" she asked him once he had finally calmed down. reki then scowled and let out a huff "yeah, he didn't. i had to save up for a ticket to fly here with the others" he said

"and some guy tweeted about it so i was able to find the location" he explained as he showed her the said tweet. she grinned and nodded along "im glad you're here reki" she beamed "i really missed you"

"me too" reki chuckled. he then eyes the boys behind her and sheepishly waved. "aren't ya gonna introduce me to your friends?" he mused

y/n perked up and looked back at the boys. "right!" she said. she brought up hanamaki and matsukawa first. "this is hanamaki-san and matsukawa-san. we're in the same year and they're in the volleyball team i mentioned." she said

hanamaki and matsukawa grinned at him and raised their hand to wave "hey, so you're the reki she's always talking about huh?" hanamaki mused

"she talks about me?" reki asked with a smile

y/n spluttered and shook her head "that's not true! i don't talk about you at all!" she rebutted

reki sweat dropped and scratched his head in confusion "oh.. okay then..?"

y/n then shook her head again and paled from the guilt "i mean of course i do! you're my best friend!" she shrieked out "i talk about you all the time, reki!" she rambled

reki sweat dropped and comforting patted her back. "so which one is it, really?" he chuckled as watched her distressed state. "let's.. let's move on.." y/n cleared her throat as she gestured to iwaizumi next.

"this is iwaizumi-san. he's in my class and we're also neighbors." she said. "hey man, nice to meet you" iwaizumi sent him a curt nod, to which reki responded to with a smile

"nice to meet you too, iwaizumi! im reki!" he introduced himself with a wave

as the two conversed, she looked back to find oikawa, only to find him sitting by a curb, looking at the passing cars with a bored look on his face. with a hint of confliction, she reluctantly walked away from reki and towards the brunette.

"oikawa-san?" she called out to him. "yeah?" oikawa replied as he briefly looked back to glance at her "you need something, y/n-chan?" he asked

"um." she muttered "are you okay?" she asked as she crouched down beside him. "yeah, whyd you ask?" oikawa hummed with a faint smile

"no reason.." she muttered as she scooted closer to him. "are you tired? you don't seem as lively as usual." she said

oikawa shrugged and brought his knees up to his chest, "kinda." he said. "aren't you gonna go back to reki?" he asked. he faced her with a smile and chuckled "you were so excited whenever you mentioned him." he mused "so i thought you'd have a more escalating reaction than that"

y/n raised a brow at his indifferent tone and playfully nudged him with her elbow. "you're so weird, oikawa-san. are you jealous or something?" she jokingly asked with a laugh

"ahahaha." oikawa laughed along with a staright face. "yes."

"what?" she blinked with a blank smile as she looked up at him cluelessly. "just kidding!" oikawa exclaimed with a cheeky grin. he ruffled her hair and laughed as she simply looked at him in confusion. "you're so gullible, y/n-chan! but i guess that's what makes you fun" okawa chuckled as he stood up from the ground to stretch his limbs

"cmon, let's go. i wanna meet your friend too, yaknow?" oikawa mused as he held out his hands for her to grab

she smiled and took his hands, pulling herself up as she dragged him over to the redhead. "you'll like him a lot, oikawa-san" she said "reki is nice, i swear!"

"reki!!" she called out with a grin "hey" reki waved back.

he then perked up as he recognised the brunette she was dragging around. "oh, you're that guy from a while ago!" reki exclaimed "i recognised you, haha"

oikawa smiled back and nodded. "yup, that's me.."

"im oikawa tooru. nice to meet you, reki-kun!" oikawa beamed with a charming grin. "you too!" reki grinned as he excitedly shook his hand. "hey, you guys wanna come with us? me and the others wanted to have a late night snack"

"the others?" y/n hummed in confusion "what do you mean? are they-"

"Y/N!" a loud shout was heard

y/n looked behind reki's shoulder and paled as she watched miya propell himself from a random curve and fly through the air towards her direction. "m-miya?! wait! don't jump! you'll hit--" she was cut off by miya's stomach hitting her straight in the face

"YOU SLIME! I TOLD YOU TO WAIT!" miya hissed at reki as he hugged her head with his arms while he wraps his legs around her torso

"hey, if i didn't go ahead, we would've lost them!" reki rebutted with a huff "and get off her! you're not a cat! stop it!" reki exclaimed as he tried to pry him off of her

"you don't know that" miya huffed, "also, back off, slime! we're having a moment." he said as he hugged her even tighter

"you're killing her, rather" cherry chimed in as he watched y/n clawing desperately for miya to let her head go "she's losing air" he sighed as he plucked miya off of her

y/n heaved as she held miya up by the back of his thighs, holding him as you would with a child as she gasped for air. "i've missed you, miya.." she meekly chuckled as she ruffled his hair

miya's face exploded into a concerningly bright shade of red as he huffed. "hmp. miss you too or whatever.." he muttered. "he's so stubborn." reki sweat dropped as he watched miya desperately try to keep his nonchalant façade but obviously failing

"huh? who's this?" miya raised a brow as he looked oikawa up and down "did you find a slime boyfriend while you were gone?!"

oikawa scowled and gave miya a nasty glare "hah? me? a slime?" he scoffed in offense

"who else would i be talking about, slime?" miya taunted him

he then gave him a smug smirk and laughed "well, my bad for that one."he mused "i mean you're a slime, yeah. but you'd never be her boyfriend" he sneered "she's just too good for you"

oikawa scowled once again and glared down at the boy. "who says i can't be her boyfriend?" he sneered

"why? are you?" miya gritted his teeth as he glared at oikawa

"no. but you're definitely not either" oikawa gave him an irked smile "whatever, i won't argue with kids." oikawa mused as he waved him off

miya hissed at him under his breath and reached out to claw at him, only for y/n to stop him by grasping his hands and keeping them in place. "dont argue with people you just met, shittykawa!" iwaizumi scolded the brunette

"he started it!" oikawa rebutted, earning a smack from iwaizumi. "shut up." iwaizumi scowled "be nice. you're embarrassing me."

"anyways, wanna join us?" joe asked as he flexed his arms with a grin "i could go for a drink right now"

"they're underaged!" cherry said as he slapped joe in the head

"well where else are we supposed to go?!" joe exclaimed with a groan "McDonald's?!"

"i want a happy meal.." y/n said as she and miya looked at the toys displayed by the counter

"i want that toy.." miya said as he stared longingly at the cat toy

"i want fries!" reki exclaimed as he faced cherry with an expectant look

cherry raised a brow and glared down at them "why are you looking at me like that?" he asked "im not gonna pay for you." he narrowed his eyes at them

"but we're broke!" reki exclaimed. "you have some pocket money, just use that" shadow said as he ordered himself a burger. "but its too expensive!!" reki whined dramatically as he slumped on the seat

"what're you guys gonna get?" he asked the boys. iwaizumi shrugged "just a drink that's all." he said "we'll share fries!" hanamaki said as he pointed to matsukawa beside him

"i got a happy meal too!" oikawa grinned as he laid the box on the table with a grin, chuckling as y/n and miya 'ooh'ed in amazement

"can we share?" y/n asked with sparkling eyes as she sat down beside the brunette

"are you gonna keep that? im taking it." miya said as he snatched the cat toy and pocketed it with a cat-like smirk

"hey! don't take too much!" oikawa exclaimed as he slapped her hand away "and you! cat boy! paws off my toy!" oikawa hissed as he playfully fought miya

"BACK OFF, SLIME!" miya hissed back

"well, at least they're getting along quite well" joe mused with a laugh. "and those two are having their long awaited reunion" shadow sneered as he nodded towards y/n and reki

y/n smiled as reki rambled to her about the moments she's missed in okinawa. she really couldn't understand anything with how fast he was talking but it was nice to hear his voice.

"you still make those same faces" she muttered

("reki my love🥰🏳️‍🌈... of skateboarding 😝😃💔♀️" do u guys remember that from the dub 😭)

"what? what's wrong with my face?" reki abruptly stopped rambling as he blinked at her with a confused smile. "nothing.." she smiled at him. she turned to miya and whispered, "reki's face always makes weird expressions.." to which miya agreed to with a nod

"eh?! did you just say my face is weird?!" reki shrieked out in offense

"no.. it said your face is.." she trailed off with a sheepish expression "unique." she finished off with a smile "so unique." she praised him with a smile as she petted his hair

"somehow, i feel very judged at the moment" reki sweat dropped

"no no, you're very beautiful!" she beamed at him. "i like your cute expressions"

"awe you think im cute?" reki smiled at her with a faint blush tinting his cheeks

"NO! I TAKE THAT BACK!" she panicked "you're normal." she said

reki sweat dropped and nervously rubbed the back of his neck from the sudden change of heart. "oh.. okay..?" he muttered in confusion

"never mind! reki, you're not normal!" she exclaimed in a state of distress and flusteredness.

"that's even worse!" reki exclaimed with a gasp of shock

"i meant you're perfect and amazing!" she shrieked as she covered her face which was heating up from embarrassment

the rest of the group sweat dropped as they watched the interaction play out. they knew she was bad with flirting but they didn't expect it to be to this extent. "ah, young love" joe chuckled "i was like that once too" he mused

"really?" miya raised a brow at his statement

"no. im not a loser" joe laughed "im a ladies man, girls just come to me, ya know?" he grinned as he flexed his biceps

beside him, cherry grimaced and scrunched his face in distaste. "you're getting too confident, you gorilla." he scoffed "you were like that to me back then." cherry taunted

everyone at the table's eyes widened as they eyed joe suspiciously, whistling under their breaths as they eagerly listen in on the conversation.

"i- that's not-" joe gritted his teeth and groaned in aggravation "i thought you were a girl, okay?!" he defended

"i was so clearly wearing a male uniform like you and everyone else." cherry deadpanned

"its just the hair, i swear!"

"joe.." y/n muttered "it's okay. we accept you." she smiled at him

"yeah. gay rights i guess" miya shrugged as he sipped on his coke

"i- this isn't funny anymore, i get that you wanna joke around-" joe deadpanned

"hey!" reki exclaimed, startling everyone in the table as he points an accusing finger to joe's face. "gender identity is not a joke!" he exclaimed "yeah!!" y/n cheered him on

joe sweat dropped and glared at them with dread. "im leaving you behind so you can stay and rot with your goddamn girlfriend" he said to reki

"and i'm not gay!!"

this is short and idk why gender identity suddenly came up ?? i was writing an essay for it on our health exam a while ago so maybe that's why ?? I'M NOT QUEERBAITING I SWEAR! ALSO THIS WHOLE SHOW IS FRUITY ANYWAYS ??

sorry for the spelling /grammar mistakes if there are any :<

ALSO APPARENTLY JOE LIKED ADAM AND NOT CHERRY?? IS THAT TRUE??

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serendipitybutterfly · 4 years

Text

...a month late... A birthday year ahead reading for Kim Taehyung... Featuring a startling revelation?! ... Sir Taehyung???

Sometimes you do a reading and something arises that you didn't even ask for and never expected... But we'll get to that.

In terms of advice for this year for Tae, with the reversed ace of cups and reversed 4 of earth (pentacles) coming as significators of this reading, there's a real message of needing to unblock and release certain energies, situations, attitudes... Imagine a clod of earth blocking a water pipe and the pressure is building up behind it. Eventually something has to give, and it should be that clod of earth... Not the pipe.

Reversals for me generally indicate blockages in areas of a person's life. With an ace of cups in reverse and a four of pentacles in reverse, I'm feeling a blockage in emotional connection or at least in being able to express one's emotions with ease... Which maybe leads to compensating with shows of material wealth... Over spending... Overgenerosity... This is interesting because I think Tae seems to express his feelings and affection for his friends and family pretty well... At least from what we see... But these cards are indicating to me that he struggles a lot with this actually and that he tends to bottle things up until he explodes (like my blocked pipe analogy) or tries to express feelings through ostentatious gifts or compensates for not expressing his emotions healthily by overspending... Essentially the advice is to unblock these energies... To learn earn to release and express his emotions in a healthy way.

Going into the more specific advice cards for the year ahead, we're starting off on an extremely positive note with The Star and the reversed 3 of water (cups). I see with this that there's real potential this year for Tae to fulfill a dream or desire. Something he wants for himself. A personal goal or project that he works on alone. With the 6 of wands and King of Earth (pentacles) we can see that pursuing this will bring him a lot of praise and success as well as greater wealth and stability. This could be anything from a solo music project, to another acting job... I'm not sure exactly what it is other than it's a real wish he has and wants to do it for himself. The advice here is simple; go for it, it will be successful.

At the centre of this reading we have the reversed Sun and the 2 of water (cups). Even reversed, the Sun is still such a positive card... It's just the energy is blocked, delayed... What I'm getting from this is that there is actually a love connection manifesting for Tae in the future which will bring him a lot of happiness... But for now he's going to need to be patient because the timing isn't right. It's coming... Just not quite yet... Though not in the too distant future... Maybe even next year?... It depends on what happens between then and now of course... But i do see happiness in a relationship ... It's just the energy is blocked so it won't manifest for a bit. If he can learn to open himself up and express his emotions this will help bring any desires he has for love into fruition...

For now though he has to work on himself. With the High Priestess and Strength here I'm seeing, and feeling, a powerful development of spirituality... Honestly it was visceral. I think it's highly likely that this year Tae may begin to explore and develop his spirituality more seriously... Certainly there's some deepening and strengthening of spiritual beliefs going on here. His faith in his intuition, in the advice coming from his spiritual guides, will become stronger. As he listens to his guides and gets confirmation over and over his faith is continuously going to deepen, as is his wisdom and understanding of the world.

The last two tarot cards of advice for the year ahead are the 2 of wands and reversed 7 of water (cups). What I see here is the advice to not be afraid to consider his options and step outside the box. He has so many talents and so many opportunities to use his skills and gifts... He's being advised to look at them all... Give them all some thought... And not feel like he has to stick to one certain thing or path when he has so many roads he can walk before him.

Now, for the oracle cards, I got first Winter Solstice: Reflection. Honestly this card made me start humming Singularity, which was interesting (the lyrics make so much sense in this case) ... I feel again a sense of needing to release something. In this case, I get the message of needing to reflect on the past, on all things that have happened, good and bad, lessons learnt and how much he's grown up and matured... And release that which is holding him back from moving forward. The negative emotions and fears which keep him bottling up his feelings and being so wary of opening up to others... This is an interesting one of course because Tae is in a position where there is a legit rational argument for why he should be guarded and wary of new people... But at the same time, you can be sensible without locking your heart away entirely and living with a lot of fear and worry about your connections with others isn't healthy... There has to be balance. Basically... I think this card is telling him to reflect on himself and realise how far he's come and how much stronger and wiser he is now... He can trust himself and his intuition.

Okay... And now this is the card that gave me chills in this reading... This deck is called 'Angels and Ancestors' and I thought it was a particularly good deck to use for Tae because... Idk if I've mentioned it before but, wow, he has such strong ancestral energy surrounding him. His family probably don't play with paying respect to the ancestors because there's really such a strong link there...

Anyway, for his advice for this year I got the Knight card which says 'Be brave and honest'. However, more than just a message of advice for the year I got two distinct impressions that literally gave me chills and goosebumps... First that one of the main ancestors or spirit guides that's looking out for Tae right now was a Knight... Or the Korean equivalent thereof... A noble warrior with a sworn sacred code of morality... And second, that Tae himself, in a past life, was a Knight... (?! When I tell you i was shook!)... Not only that, but, and I kid you not, I heard French in a man's voice (I don't even speak French!!!) saying something like "Mon coeur... Lion..."?... I couldn't understand or make it all out but I recognised those words so they stuck with me. As did the impression that they were part of some kind of personal motto or vow... My heart like a lion...? Honestly I was just stunned at that point... I wasn't expecting to be told anything like this and if there is one thing here I'd like to tell Tae most it's this... This was a lot and unexpected and also... Really quite personal... So I didn't want to pry into it or ask more... I can only say, in terms of advice, I feel like knowing this and coming into that noble warrior, brave, chivalrous energy would bring him a lot of strength and comfort.

Finally... After that surprise... The angel oracle card for his year ahead was Fiona. This card says: Now that you've asked the angels for help, be open to receiving divine guidance and assistance. You deserve heaven's help!

This definitely resonates with the message of his developing spiritual beliefs and opening up to his guides and i think he's definitely already on the right path in this regard. Once he's open to listening to his guides, his angels, his ancestors... They'll lead him to wherever he needs to go and protect him from harm.

The numerology of this reading comes to 11; a number in numerology which speaks to high vibrational spirituality and receiving guidance from angels and spirit guides. Once again I'm struck by the message that this is a year of spiritual exploration for Tae.

I think this has the potential to be an amazing year of success for Tae, both materially in terms of his career and spiritually as he develops his intuitive gifts and strengthens his connection to his guides. He has the power of his ancestors behind him... And they're strong. He's in good hands truly. Bless you Sir Taehyung!!! 💜 💜💜 ♞ ⚔ 🦁 ❤️

#Bts #bts tarot reading #Year ahead tarot reading #Taehyung's year ahead tarot reading #Finally doing this in January 2020 for his birthday but better late than never #He was a Knight... Goodness... I can see it...#kim taehyung #tarot card reading #Year ahead birthday reading #Taehyung's year ahead birthday tarot reading

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sunsiac · 5 years

Text

king and queen / jaehyun [1]

genre: murder mystery, romance, angst

member: Jaehyun

word count: 1.3k

warnings: none

summary: a young prince and a knight's daughter are an unlikely pair, but nonetheless, these two were attached at the hip as children. Without any royal duty or stress, it proved to be an unexpected yet beautiful friendship. even as they grew up together, they only developed to be more inseparable.they proved this when she, hakyeong, turned 16, and he, jaehyun, gave her one of the most precious gifts he could; both of their first kisses. but it was bad timing. their respective responsibilities dawned on them quicker than they would've imagined, forcing them to grow apart. 5 years later, the both of them 21, meet again after jaehyun's older brother who is about to be crowned king is found dead. A string of murders throughout the castle force them to come together and find the one behind it before one of them is next.

—

HAKYEONG :

My parents, both being knights, were away often. But when I had heard as a child that my parents wouldn't be coming back, I knew I wasn't as sad as I should've been.

Because, I thought, 'well, how different could it be?'

It was different, it was probably all too different for someone that young to understand at first. But fortunately, before I realised the whole of everything, I was taken in by someone. A friend of my mother's.

That was when I met the person that changed, honestly, everything.

Because, though I've lived in the kingdom for many years, I can confidently say that I've never met anyone like him. Even as an 8-year-old, he was probably one of the most interesting people I'd ever met to this day.

Maybe it was because he was a prince, but I like to think otherwise.

I met him thanks to my adoptive brother, Yuta, who used to tell me about a quiet kid that he saw around occasionally. When I eventually ran into him myself one day, I remember him having a special charm that a lot of other kids didn't at that age. He was chivalrous and charismatic all while still being a mischievous little kid.

So, when he finally admitted that he was a prince a couple months later, I wasn't very surprised.

One of the fondest memories I have of him is from when we were both around 10, and he had suddenly asked me,

"Hakyeong, would you want to be queen when you grow up?"

I remember looking at him with such confusion.

"What are you saying, Jaehyun? I can't become queen. I'm going to be a knight." I'd laughed.

He shook his head, "Sure you can! My mom said that one day I'd have to pick a queen to be with me. So why can't it be you?"

It warms my heart when I remember how genuinely confused he was about this.

"Because, to be a queen, I'd have to marry you. And princes can't marry knights."

"Then I'll marry you as a king!"

He was my best friend for almost all of my life, and I had so many memories with him that were so precious to me.

When we were 12, we abandoned everything for a bit and spent the day by a creek. When I went home later that night, my clothes soaked through, I had gotten so many questions from my adoptive parents. But I did nothing but smile.

When we were 15, we both were the right age to take horses out from the farm near my house. I remember his horse always stopping to eat the weeds on the sides of the road. I teased him about it for years.

When I turned 17, we both gave each other our first kisses.

He was such a big piece in my life, more than anyone else had ever been. But, we were forced to grow apart at that point. Though we both knew that sooner or later, we'd both see each other less to learn what it took to be a knight and a prince, we didn't think we'd cut off all contact.

Of course, we tried at first. But, a knight and a prince's schedules often have a hard time of lining up. So, inevitably, we grew apart.

I knew neither of us wanted it to happen, but even if I didn't like to admit it, we were probably better off this way. If we had the same kind of relationship we did when we were younger, we'd never get anything done.

There are a million reasons that we're better off strangers, but sometimes I still wonder what it would be like if we weren't.

But if one thing's for sure, it would be more difficult than before. Not only because we've both changed, but because around a year ago or so, the king was diagnosed with a sickness that no one could identify. All we knew after that was that he'd pass away at some point, we just didn't know how or when. And although he'd been mostly fine, he's been bedridden for most of the past months.

Even I didn't know how I would talk to him about that.

Now, they were already making plans to crown the oldest; Jung Hyeonsik, Jaehyun's older brother. And I was genuinely happy for him, considering that we were always friends. Still, definitely more so after I began training to become a knight, though. He always led lessons, and, well, because I already knew him, we became better friends.

And, I enjoyed Hyeonsik's company because it was like one of the only pieces that hadn't changed much after I turned 17. Because, even after Jaehyun and I had grown apart, and I learned to live in the castle, Hyeonsik still always found time to talk to me.

And I was so grateful for that, because it was lonely at first, coming to a place that I wasn't very familiar with. And though I didn't live very far from the castle, the setting was quite different from what I was used to.

But because of him, I quickly got used to it. Quicker than I thought I would. Because, even though life was plain for a while, I was as happy as I could be. And I hoped that it would never end, the little talks we had in the middle of sword fighting, or the reassuring he always gave me that Jaehyun and I's schedules really just didn't match up.

But it did. It ended in the absolute worst way possible. It ended with blood.

—

The first thing that I saw that night when I came into Hyeonsik's room was blood. So much of it. I wanted to look away badly, the display in front of me breaking my heart and disgusting me at the same time.

It was gruesome to say to the least. Though everything was gathered into more or less one spot, the bedsheets his inanimate body lay on were soiled through with blood, the blankets letting drops of it drip down onto the tile floor below. I remember putting a hand to my mouth almost immediately at the sight, a wave of emotion crashing down on me. Thankfully, no one in the room paid attention to nor minded the tears that came soon after.

Besides myself, there was only a small group of people -around 4 or 5- in the room, making the atmosphere eerily silent. The only sounds were the faint whispers of a few who were standing near his body, and the cries of a pair standing not too far behind them.

One of them was Hyeonsik's wife, Soyeon, who after of a few circumstances, was another close friend of mine. She was a normally postured woman, but she was now crouched down close to the ground, hands over her face. You could tell from the colour of her skin and the sobs that racked through her body that she was crying hard.

And it just seemed to be getting worse as I looked around.

The other was someone I recognised immediately, even from the door. He wasn't exactly sobbing like Soyeon, but he was obviously just as much of a wreck. Jaehyun's expression mimicked my own, his tear-stricken cheeks making my heart break just a sliver more than it already had.

I didn't know what to do at that point. I knew, that I should probably go up to him and say something, but at that moment, I didn't have the courage to do anything.

—

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