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cardentist · 3 years

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I haven’t been in the star trek fandom for very long (I’ve only just started binging the series in the last couple months), so it’s been pretty surprising to find out just how negative the perception of the reboot movies are.

this isn’t coming from the perspective of someone who grew up with the series, so it hit different for me than it might for people with a different relationship to TOS, but I thought it was genuinely clever and Respectful with how it was handled.

To quote leonard nimoy: “Well the alternative timeline gives them license to escape from canon concerns. I can’t see people saying ‘they shouldn’t do that because…’ or ‘that doesn’t tie in to such and such’ because it is a different time and place. Am I right about that?” [Link]

the entire Premise is that the original series happened as it was presented in TOS, but an event late in Spock’s life caused the creation of a parallel universe in which everyone’s lives were significantly altered through two key changes to the timeline. this gives them the freedom to Both revel in fanservice And explore different facets of the characters and their relationships.

the destruction of vulcan Vastly impacts the characters and the plot moving forward, and its a detail that a lot of people take issue with. but the emotional impact of sarek admitting Directly to spock that there is value in his humanity, that his feelings Aren’t wrong, that sarek married amanda because he Loved her cannot be understated. you can read all of these things into sarek as he was in the original series, but he Never had an open conversation about these things with spock. this creates a Believable and Rewarding change in their relationship, where we get to see a different facet of them Because of the changes made. and that’s exactly the appeal. showing us pieces of these characters that we never got in TOS that are nevertheless undeniably Them.

everyone is Different yes, but they’re also fundamentally the same people at their core and that matters.

kirk’s personality obviously takes the biggest change, with him experiencing trauma at a young age, losing his father, and having an implied abusive father figure after that point. he has a harsher personality in reaction to harsher conditions, he’s spikier and harder to love. but he’s also still fundamentally a Good person whose willing to risk everything to help people. he still has what made kirk prime a good captain and a good friend.

I’m not gonna say that it’s the most nuanced story in the world, but it explores a version of kirk that was born from even Less fortunate circumstances than kirk prime, exploring a kirk brimming with potential who learned to bite back after he was kicked down. exploring those themes of trauma and loss, of insecurity and growth, and coming to the conclusion that Fundamentally He Is Capable Of Good isn’t a Bad thing. you don’t have to like it, but his growth into a better person is The Point. they deepened his flaws (all of which were present in a less exaggerated form in TOS) To Show That Growth.

and then of course there’s his relationship with spock.

people are totally justified in not liking that they had a rough start to their relationship, I usually don’t like to see that kind of thing in reboots or hollywood adaptations either, but the way people talk about it is just unfair.

Yes kirk and spock and bones have a very strong relationship in TOS, they also already know each other by the time the show starts. to look at them having to learn to get to know and trust each other when they first meet and say that it’s Bad because they were already full on ride or die for each other in the og series is silly. TOS kirk and spock had to meet and fall in love with each other too, it didn’t just happen over night kings.

secondly, the entire point of the first movie is that Even With reality itself being altered to pull them apart they are fundamentally compatible people that are Bound to each other. they meet each other on bad terms because of circumstances outside of their control, and yet they’re still pulled into each other’s orbit and find the other slotting into place next to them as if they always belonged. one of the first things that spock prime says in the movie is “I am and always will be your friend,” spock and jim are Meant for each other and the movie goes out of its way to explain that. which is what makes it so Weird to see people complaining about how they don’t like each other.

it’s a Different relationship, but it’s absolutely no less steeped in yearning or queer subtext.

speaking of queer subtext ! some people are Very unhappy with spock’s relationship with uhura.

first thing I wanna say is that making the argument that they’re doing anything that the original series hasn’t done is just, completely untrue. kirk has fallen in love with more girls in the og series than he knew what to do with, leonard nimoy was a heartthrob in his time (and he deserves it, awooga) and spock reflects that ! Spock usually turns the women who come onto him down (or when he doesn’t it’s because a plant has literally altered his mind), but there are exceptions to even that. all of three of the main boys have plenty of romance subplots, it happens. if that takes the possibility of them being queer off the table for you (which it shouldn’t, m-spec people exist) then I’m sorry to say that TOS is not exempt.

now, I can understand why Specifically This Relationship could rub people the wrong way or being disappointed that they didn’t outright depict kirk and spock as having a relationship (if not in the first movie then in the following ones after they’ve gotten to know each other), but even in that context the way I’ve seen people talk about it comes off as insensitive.

no, the relationship did not come out of nowhere. they considered having spock and uhura date each other in the original show (and you can see signs of this in the earlier episodes, where uhura very obviously flirts with him and they spend time together in their down time) before they decided against it, and spock was originally going to kiss uhura until shatner insisted that he wanted to do it (because it was the first interracial kiss on tv). [Link 1, Link 2, Link 3]

nichelle nichols was asked about this exact thing (spock and uhura’s relationship in the movie), you can read the interview in full here [Link] but I’d like to highlight this paragraph in particular:

“Now, go back to my participation in Star Trek as Uhura and Leonard (Nimoy) as Spock. There was always a connection between Uhura and Spock. It was the early 60’s, so you couldn’t do what you can do now, but if you will remember, Uhura related to Spock. When she saw the captain lost in space out there in her mirror, it was Spock who consoled her when she went screaming out of her room. When Spock needed an expert to help save the ship, you remember that Uhura put something together and related back to him the famous words, “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m afraid.” And Uhura was the only one who could do a spoof on Spock. Remember the song (in “Charlie X”)? Those were the hints, as far as I’m concerned.”

the film makers looked at the fact there were Hints for uhura and spock, that they were Interested in exploring an interracial couple for the first time (both before and immediately after interracial couples won the right to legally get married) but Couldn’t because of the circumstances of the times and decided to Make that depiction. you don’t have to Like their relationship just because of that fact, but it’s Incredibly reductive to play down it’s significance as just a No Homo cop out. explicitly queer relationships are not the only progressive or culturally important relationships in fiction.

moreover, if you can’t imagine polyamory in the communist utopian future that’s on you.

moreover, this perception that this was a soulless cash grab is just, unfounded.

leonard nimoy returned to the role as spock for the first time in 16 years (since 1991) and this was Entirely because of the respect they had for nimoy, spock as a character, and the franchise as a whole.

Lets look at some quotes from nimoy in interviews regarding the film:

Leonard Nimoy: When I first read the script (...) I immediately contacted J.J. and said “I think it is terrific…I think you guys have done a wonderful job. There is still work to be done, but it is very clear that you and your writers know what you are doing and you know how to do this movie and know what it should be about….and I am very interested.” Then as time went by we worked things out with Paramount, but the most important things were J.J. and the script. (...) I am very pleased about that and I am very comfortable with where this is going. I think the writers have done a terrific job. They have a real sense of the characters and the heart of Star Trek and what it is really all about.

(...)

TrekMovie.com: Now in the case of the new movie you have been retired from acting for years. What was it about this one that made you want to act again and go through the make up again? What was it that made you say ‘I really want to do this?’

Leonard Nimoy: You are right, this is a special situation. First it is Star Trek and so I have to pay attention. I owe that to Star Trek. Second place is that it is J.J. Abrams who I think very highly of, he is a very talented guy. Then came the script and it was very clear that I could make a contribution here. The Spock character that I am playing, the original Spock character, is essential and important to the script. So on the basis of those three elements it was easy to make the decision. So those three things: Star Trek, J.J. Abrams, and an interesting Spock role.

[Link]

Praising the cast playing younger versions of characters from the original 1960s TV series, he [Leonard Nimoy] said: “Let me take the opportunity to say this. Everybody at this table [the cast] are very, very talented and intelligent people.”

“They found their own way to bring that talent and intelligence to this movie, and I think it shows. (...) When Karl Urban introduced himself as Leonard McCoy and shook hands with Chris Pine, I burst into tears. That performance of his is so moving, so touching and so powerful as Doctor McCoy, that I think D. Kelley would be smiling, and maybe in tears as well.”

“The makers of this film reawakened the passion in me that I had when we made the original film and series. I was put back in touch with what I cared about and liked about Star Trek, and why I enjoyed being involved with Star Trek. So, it was an easy way to come on home.”

“[In this Star Trek] they said things and showed me things, and demonstrated the sensibility that I felt very comfortable with, and I think that shows in the movie. I like it.”

[Link 1, Link 2]

again, you don’t have to like it just because leonard nimoy did, you don’t have to Agree. but the idea that nobody working on the film Cared is provably false. near everyone working on the project was already a fan of the series or were excited to be involved and did their homework. it’s genuinely a Miracle just how much of a labor of love this was, and in my opinion you can feel that through the movie itself. I’d highly recommend looking into interviews and behind the scenes details about the movies. they had a respect not just for the source material, but for leonard nimoy as a person.

there’s definitely more I Could say about this, but it’s 4 am now so I’m gonna shelve it jklfdsa

that said! it’s Fine to not like the movie, not everything is going to be suited to everyone’s taste, but the specific criticisms I’ve seen feel very off base

#star trek #kirk #spock #uhura #nichelle nichols #leonard nimoy #star trek aos #aos #star trek tos #tos #meta #long post #hello followers I write essays about star trek now

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quinncupine · 3 years

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Obscured Chapter Eight: Belly of the Beast

Chapter Word Count: 6,440

Relationship: Izuku Midoriya X Female Reader

Previous Chapter: Seven

MASTERLIST

Warnings: Kidnappings, violence, language, blood, near-death experiences, drugs

I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think!

...

A steel-toed boot to the chest woke Izuku up. He sucked in a breath and his eyes shot open. His brain felt like mush and every inch of his body ached. Something heavy and cold constrained his arms, hands pulled so far behind him that the tips of his fingers brushed against his shoulder blades and strained his bruised ribs. Layers of heavy metal chains had wrapped around him like a cocoon, which forced him to sit on his knees.

"Oh, looks like Sleeping Beauty finally awakes," an electronic voice mused. "Took your sweet time, didn't ya?"

Izuku tried to blink away the blurriness. He'd felt the effects of a sedative before; they weren't fun. If the chains weren't holding him upright, he would've fallen over. Through the pounding headache and general drowsiness, he managed to look up at his captor.

It was a mask he would recognize anywhere. Kabuki.

"You look dumbfounded." Kabuki crouched in front of him. "Or maybe just dumb."

He looked around, taking in his surroundings. In the dim light, he could make out steel beams in front of him. Two sets that ran parallel to each other, and lined by thick cement barricades. Two sets of rail tracks ran on either side of the beams in a large trench. He was sitting on the raised platform in what looked like some sort of abandoned subway station: complete with faded graffiti, piles of molded trash, and even a decayed staircase that went nowhere. A train whistled around the corner and a few moments later, rushed through, not bothering to slow down.

He blinked hard and forced his brain to start the gears. His memory was a little fuzzy; drugs tend to have that effect. How did he end up here? What was he doing last? He had left the hospital with you, that much he remembered. Then...then the car had been attacked. The bridge blew and you fell. You fell. The pieces slowly came together until they all clicked. His head shot up, eyes roaming around the rusted station in a panic.

"Looking for someone?" Kabuki cocked his head.

Izuku forced his attention back to him. "Where is she?"

"Ah, don't you worry about that," he shrugged. "It's just you and me right now. I wanted some one-on-one time with you."

Izuku flexed his fingers, another mini panic jolted through him when he didn't feel his quirk. "Why?"

"Haven't figured it out yet?" He stood up. "What a shame. And here I thought you were supposed to be the clever one. Hmm, maybe I gave you too much credit." He crossed his arms. "You don't even know who I am."

He tested the binds. With his strength gone and his head still a little fuzzy, it would be a lot more difficult to break free. He needed a plan, and fast.

"I know exactly who you are," he said.

"Oh really?" Kabuki laughed. "Do enlighten me then."

"You were the one who killed the Hashira. You also killed an officer, Officer Manaka. The two don't connect unless you trace back to three years ago." He explained as he wracked his brain for an escape route. "I looked into his records. He'd been receiving large sums of money for years from false accounts. The Hashira had him on their payroll. He would look the other way whenever they were involved and even helped cover up their mistakes. He was a dirty cop." He worked on getting his fingers free while he talked. "You were the first to figure it out."

"What's with the long story?" He put his hands on his hips. "You know, I've always hated how you ramble, it's annoying."

"The Hashira killed your family didn't they?." He said and Kabuki tensed. "It's why you targeted them. You killed Officer Manaka because he worked for them. It's why you killed any criminal you came across, warranted or not. It's why you became the Metal Hero Cobalt; to prevent what happened to you from happening to others. Isn't that right, Ikari?"

The two stared at each other in silence before Kabuki broke into laughter, which sounded pretty weird coming from an electronic mask. He pulled the long hood of his coat back before slipping the mask off. Blue locks of hair fell free, revealing the face of a young woman.

"Got it all figured out, huh?" She looked down at her mask. "I am glad you remember me. It would've been awkward if you didn't."

"You were a hero, Ikari," Izuku said. "Look at what you're doing, this isn't you."

"Don't pretend to know me." She narrowed her eyes. "Don't you dare forget that I'm not a hero anymore because of you."

"You know why." He said. "But that doesn't mean you have to become this."

"This?" A finger trailed down the center of the mask before she chucked it at him. "You're exactly the reason I had to do this! Everything that happened, everything that will happen, it's your fault Deku."

The mask bounced off his chest and landed at his feet. The empty eyes seemed to bore into him, mocking him.

"Blaming me doesn't make what you did any less wrong." The chains seemed to tighten around him on their own, but he still continued. "Those people didn't deserve to die. You can't play judge, jury, and executioner. You're acting like Stain."

"Stain?" She cocked her head. "You think I'm like Stain? He might've had the right idea, but he didn't know how to execute it properly. He killed any hero that got in his way...well, except for you." She tapped her chin. "You fought him the night he was captured, didn't you? Of course, that's not the official story anyway, but you were the one to take him out."

Izuku didn't say anything so she continued. "The problem with Stain is that he was too focused on the killing and not the actual changing. You should've been rewarded with taking him out, instead, you were threatened into silence and let that lava-brained oaf take all the credit. That's one of the many problems with the hero system. No one understands what true justice is anymore, instead jumping through red tape to make themselves look good. The wicked should be punished to the full extent. The heroes of this world need a major overhaul, and Japan will be the first to witness it."

"So you want to kill me, is that it?" He managed to slip a few fingers free. "And then what?"

"Ah, look at that, you got me monologuing." She chuckled. "You think you can get me to reveal my master plan? I'm well aware of hero tactics. Besides, what fun is there unless you figure it out when it's already too late? Let's see how much longer you can call yourself hero."

The ground rumbled as a train raced through the station on the closest track. The noise reverberated off the walls, making Izuku's headache that much worse.

"You brought me here for a reason." His wrist slipped free, but the rest of his arm was still trapped behind his back. "For some sort of retribution. Revenge."

"Oh, I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you think." She bent down and patted his cheek. "No, I think you'll be more than capable of that yourself."

If she was going for ominous, she nailed it. Although he wasn't too sure of the 'no hurting' part. Villains don't just kidnap someone and bring them to an abandoned subway station in who-knows-where to have a nice chat. She was up to something, but the 'what' was still unclear.

The air beside them bent into a point before it expanded back out, bringing two people with it, both of which he recognized. A disturbing copy of himself holding onto what he prayed wasn't the real you. The 'what' suddenly became crystal clear.

"Gah, shit!" Fake Izuku toppled over, clutching his leg that had turned into a popsicle. "That damn bastard!"

You fell on your butt and scuttled backward, running into the decayed staircase. Your head swiveled around, taking in the new environment before finally landing on him.

"Izuku?" You asked.

All he could do was stare. You were still in your house clothes and slippers. Hair hung loosely around your head and he could see dark bags under your wide eyes. His escape plan just got upgraded to an emergency.

His face darkened and he turned his deadly glare on Ikari. "She's got nothing to do with this. It's me you're angry with."

Ikari looked over at you curiously. "Oh, but I went through all the trouble of bringing her here and you don't even say hello to your wife?" She headed your way. "It's awfully rude to ignore guests."

The chains dug into his skin as he struggled to free himself, he no longer cared about being discreet. One of the many parts bolted into the walls broke free. The chains themselves only coiled tighter, pressing into his lungs.

"Ikari, stop!"

She made a beeline for you with a smirk that spelled anything but nice. You used the broken down canopy that covered the stairs to pull yourself up and looked around for something to use for defense.

Ikari stopped short and turned to Fake Izuku, who was looking less and less like him by the second. Green hair had grown out to his shoulder and turned a rusty red. His muscular frame shrunk into more feminine shape. His face changed completely. The imposter wasn't a man at all, but it was someone you both recognized. You'd seen her enough on the news, giving the morning traffic reports from her helicopter. The same reporter who had gone missing, along with the helicopter that stole Izuku away.

"You're late Shizue." Ikari looked down at the woman.

Shizue, who was still nursing her frozen leg, looked up. "Well obviously I ran into some complications." She grumbled. "But I got the girl."

"You were supposed to get both." Ikari rubbed her forehead. "It was a simple snatch and run. Please tell me you didn't play actor again."

"What was I supposed to do? There were heroes there. You never said anything about heroes." She complained. "You said it would be easy, just off some officers and we're good to go." She got up and carefully tested her weight on the icicle of a leg. "Besides, it was a golden opportunity to try out my latest one." She held her hand over her leg and the ice shattered.

Ikari closed her eyes and shook her head before she set her focus back on you. "I'm glad you could make it Y/N. It wouldn't be any fun without you."

You glanced back at Izuku and noticed the mask lying on the ground next to him. It was a Kabuki mask. The same Kabuki mask that everyone had been working so hard to find.

"So you're Kabuki." You gripped the metal railing behind you. "Didn't expect you to be a girl."

She chuckled and leaned in close. "What? Ladies can't take initiative too?" Her hand reached for your chin and you pressed against the rail in an effort to avoid her. She snagged your face and forced you to look at her. "Do you know why you're here?"

You glanced at Izuku, who struggled in his binds. "To...kill me." The words were barely audible, but Izuku still seemed to hear.

He stopped struggling for a second to look at you, tears had pooled in his eyes and threatened to spill over. You two locked eyes. He was trying to communicate so many things with one look.

"Now why would I do that? You just got here." She pulled you off the stairs, slung an arm around your shoulders, and marched over to Izuku. "I'm sure you're dying to talk to him though." She laughed at her own joke. You did not.

She stopped a few feet from Izuku, who glared up at her. "She's innocent. Just let her go and I promise I'll stay."

Ikari frowned. "Innocent? What about all the others then? Weren't they innocent too?" She dug her nails into your shoulder. "Because of you, they're dead. Because of you, I couldn't save them. Because of you, I was forced to run while you went on to become the Number One Hero. A bit ironic, isn't it?"

She released you, only to grab your hair and yank you back into her so she could loop an arm around your throat.

"Call me a villain, I don't care anymore." From her sleeve, a thin metal arrow slowly slid out. "Titles won't matter for much longer anyway." She looked at Izuku. "You ruined everything I had achieved in just a few days." The sharp tip of the arrow rested just below your chin and slightly dug in. "What would you do if I ruined yours in just a few seconds?" The sharp tip tore through the skin as she drew a thin line across.

You frantically tried to tear her off with a terrified yelp. She didn't cut in very far, but it still hurt all the same.

Izuku went crazy, he thrashed so hard that three bolts ripped off the wall, giving him more room to move. The chains around him squeezed so hard he lost his breath, but it didn't deter him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Ikari threatened, lifting your head back to expose more of your throat. "Unless you do want me to kill her right here, right now."

"What do you want?" He stilled and gave his best I will destroy you glare.

"Hmm?" She tapped the blade against your throat. "I believe you already know that."

The blade retracted back into her sleeve and she threw you to the ground, by his feet. You scooted away from her, bumping into Izuku behind you. One hand held your neck and the other grabbed hold of his shirt. The small incision wasn't deep or all that concerning, even if it did dribble down in a steady flow. Cuts always bleed worse than they really are, at least that's what you told yourself.

"Are you okay?" You glanced at him.

He blinked. "Me?" He shook his head. "I'm so sorry. I'll get you out of here".

You nodded. If Izuku says he's going to do something, then he finds a way to do it. The problem was that doing just that would be a lot more challenging without his quirk, which was somehow being suppressed at the moment.

"Big words for a man in your position." Ikari pulled out a small pouch from her coat and tossed it between her hands. "But don't worry, I came bearing gifts."

She snapped her fingers and Shizue hobbled over to you and yanked you to your feet. You struggled against her as she dragged you away.

Izuku yelled at her, trying his best to worm himself out of the chains. The problem was that Ikari had full control over metal and any attempt he made at breaking free, she would only restrain him further.

With one of Shizue's legs still damaged, you exploited it and pushed into her as hard as you could. Her arms windmilled before she crashed to the ground. You had no idea what to do. Should you run and get to safety? That's what he would want you to do. Or should you try and free him? There was no way to get past Ikari, break the chains, and escape.

"Go!" He could see your hesitance. "Run!"

A mini tug-of-war battle waged in your mind. You would be no help if you stayed. But if you ran, would she just kill him anyway? It was a choice you didn't really have time to debate. Ikari brought you here for a reason: to hurt Izuku. Running was your best option. If you could just find some heroes to help, then you could help him. You took off.

Shizue clamored to her feet, muttering something about doing all the work and took off after you with a heavy limp. Even though her leg was messed up, she was still pretty fast.

Your first thought was the stairs, but one look at them and you needed to rethink. The entire thing had been sealed off with clumps of random metal all fused together. There was no way you'd be getting out that way.

Shizue grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back. You grabbed hold of the railing to steady yourself, but one of the poles snapped off and you lost your balance. You toppled into her and you both went down. The pole landed next to you, so you grabbed it and scrambled away from her. She grabbed your foot as you stood and you whacked her hand with the pole. She let you go with a scream and clutched her hand.

That was your chance, so you got back to your feet and sprinted down the platform. The station itself wasn't all that big and you found yourself at the end of the platform in no time, with no where else to go. As far as you could tell, the only exit was the blocked off staircase. Across the tracks was another platform with another set of stairs, but if the villains were smart, they would've blocked that too. There was another option, a much more dangerous option. You could always run down the tracks and try to escape through another station, but you'd have to be faster than a train. The horn sounded from the tunnel, yeah, there was no way you'd outrun a train.

The collar of your sweater was yanked back, nearly choking you as she grabbed you from behind. She had a handful of sweater, so you twisted around and ducked out. The fabric ripped and you stumbled back. Damn, that was one of your favorite sweaters too, Inko had gotten it for you a few Christmas's ago.

You didn't realize how close to the edge you were and one foot slipped off. Shizue was actually the one to save you from the fall. She grabbed your collar as you tipped off the edge, but didn't make any effort to pull you back up. Your fingers scrabbled at her jacket in an effort to hang on and your hand smacked the device around her waist.

The ground rumbled as the lights of the train flooded the tunnel. The tracks squealed as the train rushed into the station.

"Shizue." Ikari warned.

Shizue didn't take her eyes off you, a sadistic smile on her face. "Oops." She let go and you fell off the platform, right onto the tracks of the speeding train.

Izuku wrenched out the last of the bolts keeping him locked in place and fell forward, struggling with the coiling chains. He screamed and writhed, making every effort to escape, but without the strength of his quirk, he couldn't break out of Ikari's.

The train didn't even slow down and after a few moments, left the station. Shizue peered over the edge and crossed her arms. All that was left was a slipper.

"Shizue!" Ikari barked. "You idiot! That wasn't the plan!"

Shizue rolled her eyes, still clutching her hand as she made her way back over. "Chill out, geez. She was gonna die anyway."

"You are ruining my plans." She stepped closer to Shizue. "I don't care how important you think you are, if you do that again, I will kill you."

She narrowed her eyes. "Yeah? Well good luck finding someone else to make your supply."

The two women glared at each other before Ikari took a deep breath and turned back to an enraged Izuku. There was a murderous look on his face that even caused her some pause.

She knelt in front of him, dumping some shiny blue powder into her hand. "That's a bit disappointing, but at least I can still test my new blend."

"My new blend." Shizue mumbled behind her.

Izuku managed to get back to his knees, the chains struggling to hold him in. He was silent as he brought his head up, making eye contact with her. The air seemed to take on weight as his eyes bore into hers with such malice.

"Don't give me that look." She said, leaning away from him. "You know this is your fault Deku. Take some responsibility." She blew the powder in his face just as he headbutted her.

The bag flew out of her hand as she fell back, holding her nose. It was too late though, the powder clouded around his head and he gagged on it. He tried to hack it out, but powder clung to him, coating his mouth and throat. He choked and fell onto his stomach, face pressed into the ground.

Ikari stood up, holding her bloody nose. "Let's go."

Shoto gripped the wheel so tight, his knuckles turned white. They'd left the house once the police arrived to take over. Momo sat in the back with Inko, who had retreated back into her silent shock. No one had spoken a word since they left.

Ochaco had been carted away to the hospital. She'd lost a lot of blood and was barely conscious by the time the ambulance arrived. Shoto had managed to get a few key details from her and had sent Bakugo to the hospital to get the rest of the story.

The three of them were headed to the police station. It was clear Inko was also a target, which meant that she needed a safe, well, a more guarded place, until this was all resolved. At the station, she would have eyes on her at all times. Momo volunteered to stay with her until they found both you and Izuku.

Shoto's phone rang and he answered, the light of an oncoming car illuminated his face. "Chief, we're almost there."

"I've got officers waiting outside for you." Tsukauchi said. "Shinso's still here too."

He nodded. "We're ten minutes out."

He hung up and glanced in the rearview mirror. Momo was staring at Inko, who in turn, was staring out the window, gripping her hands tightly on her lap.

Another phone buzzed, on the seat between the two women. That was Ochaco's phone. It was left behind, so Momo had taken it for safe-keeping. A new text had come through. Momo wasn't one to pry, but given the circumstances, she allowed herself to look. It was only three words. She blinked and read them again.

"Shoto." Momo looked up. They made eye contact through the mirror. "I've got something."

Getting pushed in front of a speeding train was not a fun experience. Your back hit the tracks first, narrowly avoiding that third rail full of high voltage electricity. There was no time to think about the pain that sparked up your spine as you put all your muscles to work and rolled off the tracks, losing one of your slippers in the process. The train barreled through as you landed in the gravel, just inches from the tracks.

You laid there for a moment and let your mind catch up to what just happened as you watched the cars bobble through, the wind blasting your hair back. This wasn't the right time to sit and freak out though, they were still on the other side.

The two tracks were separated by a row of support beams and thick cement barricades. You jumped over one of the barricades and crouched as low as you could. It was wide enough to cover you, as long as they didn't come over to investigate. The train left, leaving a hollow emptiness to the station and you put a hand over your mouth to stifle your heavy breaths.

From the platform, you could hear the two villains arguing with each other, the words were too echoed to hear right, but they didn't seem happy with each other. There sounded like a small scuffle and Izuku yelled, the chains jingled. You didn't dare look, for fear they might see you. Right now, you were at an advantage, and you wanted to keep it that way. Just hide and wait for help, except no one knew where you were.

In your pocket was your phone, well your replacement anyway. The last one was still at the bottom of the river. Ochaco had given this one to you for the time being, in case of emergencies. This would definitely qualify as an emergency.

As quietly as you could, you slipped the phone out. This new one was temporary, which meant that none of your old contacts were transferred yet, and you never took the time to memorize anyone's number. Well, aside from Izuku's, but calling him wouldn't really help at the moment.

Calling was also a problem. It would be too risky to answer anyone's questions, they might hear you. So you'd have to settle for texting. You opened up the phone and almost let out an audible sigh of relief. There was one contact saved into the phone. Ochaco. She must have put her number in before giving it to you.

Your trembling fingers quickly typed out a message and sent it. SOS can't talk.

The station had gone eerily silent, aside from the constant hissing and distant sounds of horns. No voices, no chains, nothing.

The phone dinged and you curled around it, praying no one heard that. When no one came charging into view, you looked down at the response.

Tracking phone. Then a second message. Are you safe? - Momo

You blew out a quiet breath and clutched the phone to your chest. Momo had responded. She would know what to do and she would find you. All you had to do was hold out until then. The only thing that bothered you, aside from the obvious, was the silence.

A quick peek around the barrier and you saw the platform was empty, aside from Izuku, who was sprawled out on the ground, free of his chains. The two villains were nowhere to be seen. Had they just left? That didn't make any sense. Why would they leave when they already had the hero at their mercy? Something else had to be at play.

You focused on Izuku. He was lying face down, but you could see the rise and fall of his chest; he was breathing. Actually, he was breathing to much. It almost looked like he was hyperventilating.

On the phone, you typed out another quick text. Hiding. Two villains. Izuku's here.

After a few moments of watching him struggle to breathe, you couldn't stand it. The villains seemed to have left him for some reason and for all you know, he could be bleeding out, left to die. That was something you couldn't idly watch.

The phone buzzed again. Stay put. Let him handle it. We are coming.

How long would that take? Izuku could be dying and since they didn't come after you, there was a fair chance they thought you might already be dead. Maybe that's all they wanted. To kill you in front of him and then leave him to die.

He's hurt. You typed out.

Not even a second passed before she sent a response. Do NOT engage. Stay hidden.

That was easy to say, but what if you stayed put and he ended up bleeding to death, or died some other way? You might not have been a hero, but you were a nurse and you had to deal with the aftermath of battles and everyday accidents. This was what you were good at, and this is what Izuku needed, so you couldn't just stay hidden. But you did as she said, well, for the first two minutes. It was quiet, you were almost positive they had left.

You stood up, keeping low as you looked around. No one popped out so you hopped over the barricade. Your shoe-less foot stepped on something sharp and you hopped back with a quiet gasp. A small shard of glass stuck out on the bottom of your foot and you plucked it out. The ground was littered with dangerous debris, you'd have to be careful.

The missing slipper was still lying on the tracks, but it was shredded beyond use. Something else caught your eye, lying beside it. You limped over for closer examination. It was a small vial filled with dark liquid. It looked just like one of the vials on Shizue's contraption. You picked it up and the liquid sloshed inside. There was a label on the side with a word scribbled out in neat handwriting: Blacklash. That made no sense to you, but you slipped it into your pocket anyway.

The platform itself was about five feet off the ground. It took a few attempts, but you managed to crawl onto it. Another scan of the area and they were still nowhere to be found. If it was a trap of some sort and Izuku was the bait, then who exactly were they trying to catch? It wasn't you, they could easily find and subdue you without the elaborate scheme. It had to be something else. The other heroes maybe?

"Izuku?" You whispered, standing up.

His breath hitched and his back arched. He flattened his palms on the ground and pressed his face into the cement. A coughing fit wracked his body. There didn't seem to be any new injuries on him, well, no obvious ones anyway.

Since you already lost one, you decided to just take the other slipper off. You made your way over to him, one eye on your surroundings.

"Hey, Izuku," you knelt in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Where did they go? What happened? Are you hurt?"

He refused to move, to look up at you. From his position, you could see the dried blood that coated the top of his head, mangling his hair. He was still injured from the crash and you had no way of knowing what sort of internal injuries he had. One hand clawed at the floor, nails scraped so hard a few of them broke.

"Izuku," you reached for him, but that same hand suddenly lurched out and caught your wrist.

Through his labored breathing, he managed to get a few words out. "Go." He said into the ground. "Get away."

"What?" You stared at his hand, the nails were bloody. "They're gone, we both need to go. Can you stand?"

He lifted his head. Dark spots of blue dust covered his face, mixing with his sweat. He locked eyes with you and you knew something was wrong, like really wrong. His pupils were blown, so much so that you could barely see any green left. His grip on your wrist was tight and it kept getting tighter.

"Ow," you hissed. "Izuku, stop, you're hurting me." You tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let go. You stood up and tried to pry his fingers off, but he was too strong. "Izuku, let go."

He grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his forehead back into the floor. "G...go." He said that, yet he squeezed so hard, you felt your bones grind.

On the ground next to him was a small pouch, blue dust spilled out of the top. Those blue spots on his face looked exactly like Kirishima's after he'd been dosed with Kabuki's drug. You knew firsthand how volatile he'd gotten. If Izuku had been dosed with the same thing, then it didn't look good for either of you.

You gasped and fell back to your knees as your bone popped. If he squeezed much harder, your wrist would snap.

"Stop," you clawed at his hand. "Stop!"

He didn't even seem to hear you. His entire body trembled as he slowly pushed himself up; one hand still trying to dig into the ground while the other had an iron clamp on you. His matted hair fell into his face as he looked at you. The expression that crossed his face was something you'd never thought you'd see on him, much less directed at you: pure malice.

He twisted your wrist, drawing you closer and you yelped. Your panicked mind did the only thing it could think of. You slapped him across the face.

He momentarily loosened his grip enough for you to pull away. You fell backward and scurried out of his reach.

He blinked, staring at the ground, hand still raised, clutching nothing but air. It was like his brain was trying to calculate what just happened, and you weren't too keen on sticking around for him to figure it out.

As slow as you dared, you got to your feet, and took quiet steps back. You didn't want anything to set him off, and he was definitely way too unstable to talk with that drug coursing through him. You had to keep reminding yourself that the heroes were on their way.

Izuku let out a shaky groan and grabbed fistfuls of hair, leaning forward. It looked as though he was trying to fight against it, but drugs weren't something easily conquered. You would know, you'd seen enough overdoses come through your E.R. This was still a relatively unknown drug, that as far as you knew, caused extreme aggression.

The problem was that there was nowhere to escape too and very few hiding places. All the exits were sealed and most things had long been looted, leaving very little to work with. A deep horn blared from far off in the left tunnel; another train was coming.

The sound seemed to stir him. Green sparks jumped off his skin. His quirk was back, which was not good news for you. You needed a plan, and fast. Izuku lurched forward, his hands slapping the ground, cracks spiderwebbed out from underneath him. Then he looked up at you, eyes almost entirely black. He looked so un-Izuku-like that you could hardly believe that it was him.

A chill ran down your spine and only one thought came to mind: run.

Behind you, Izuku got to his feet and stumbled for balance. He looked almost drunk. No, that wasn't quite right either. You'd seen him drunk before, he would get all red-faced and giggly, not scary and demonic. This was a side to him you'd never seen before, and it scared you to your core. Even if he was weakened, he was still an incredibly formidable foe, one you'd never thought you'd have to face, yet here you were, running from your demon possessed husband, you know, like any normal couple.

Your phone! You dug it out of your pocket and called Momo. She picked up immediately.

"Y/N. Thank god." She sighed. "Are you okay? What's happening?"

A horn blared from far off down the tunnel as you sprinted to the end of the platform and glanced back at Izuku, who wobbled in place. "No, no. I'm with Izuku, but it's that drug, the same as Kirishima." Faded lights filled the tunnel. "That's why they left! I think, I think he's gonna..." You trailed off, grabbing your hair.

"I've got your location." She sounded so calm, controlled. "I've sent the heroes, they'll be there. Stay calm. Can you find a place to hide?"

"You're not coming?" A new spike of fear pierced your heart.

She was silent for a moment. "I can't. It's too far away, but I promise, help is coming."

"Too far?" You glanced down the tunnel, the floor rumbled as the train approached. "Where am I?"

She seemed hesitant to answer. "New York City."

"America?" You hissed. "How the hell-"

"A teleportation quirk, most likely." She said. "Just stay on the line, they shouldn't be too far off. Just a little longer."

A quick peek back at Izuku had your heart nearly leap into your throat. His eyes were locked onto you, face contorted into a menacing sneer, and lightning flickered off his skin.

"I don't think I have a little longer." You whispered.

He crouched and launched himself at you. For as clumsy as he looked, he was still extremely fast. You only had seconds to jump to the side or be smashed into the wall. Unfortunately, there was no more platform to jump on, which meant you hurled yourself over the edge, right onto the tracks. Something sharp stabbed your thigh and you cried out.

The train entered the station and you scrambled off the tracks, breathing heavy as it raced between the two of you, providing some temporary cover. You needed to move, to hide. Whatever had stabbed your thigh had left a sizable gash, but at least you could still walk on it, so that's what you did.

The only place left to really hide was back behind the barriers. You dove behind them again, hoping to god that his senses had also been dulled. He was the greatest hero in Japan and that title came with some serious battle skills, one's you certainly didn't have.

The train left and you covered your mouth to quiet your breathing. You had a death grip on the phone, but talking now would only reveal your location. Instead, you held it up to your ear, an almost inaudible whine escaped your throat.

Izuku grunted as he pulled himself from the dent in the wall, tile shattering as it fell out. You didn't dare look, but you could hear him shuffling around as the train disappeared down the tunnel.

"Momo." You couldn't help the pathetic mewl that puttered out. This was an entirely new experience. You'd always had that reassurance that if anything ever went wrong, Izuku would always be there to back you up. This time though, they'd turned this into some sort of twisted reversal. That single punch was meant to kill. If he got to you again...

"Hang on, hang on!" She'd lost that calm façade. "I'll-I'll figure this out, I promise!"

The crunch of gravel caught your attention and you pressed your back into the barricade. By the sound of it, he'd jumped off the platform, headed in your direction. A shadow loomed over you and you curled up against the barrier, praying to whatever deity that was listening, that he wouldn't find you.

A few tense moments passed before the shadow disappeared. Not a second later, the entire barricade was ripped from the ground and you fell back with a startled scream. Standing over you was a green-haired beast.

...

Tag list @miriobaby @dorki-c @awilddreamerwrites @thecindy @sailorstupidsblog @kehlaniwwe @kenmaskitten10 @slytherintothedms @chanyeoloml

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kohakhearts · 3 years

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Idk if you're still doing the most recent writing ask game you reblogged but 12 and 19 for osa if you'd like!!

definitely happy to take more!! thanks so much :3

12: why did you choose to write osa? how long have you been working on it?

these idiot kids have been in my life since july or august of 2015. so 6 years! during which there were quite a few false starts, and ultimately 3 complete drafts - the first one at 111k words when i was 15, the second at 101k when i was 18, and the final at 134k when i was 19. osa itself went through...a LOT of changes. at its conception, it was contemporary fantasy - a fae story. the kids did not have magic; poseidon just had the special ability because of his ~youthful innocence~ to see and commune with fae spirits. i think the idea was that he kinda dragged nerissa on his little adventure because said fae spirits were calling to him for help (which...i'm realizing now is pretty parallel to his connection with chaos, actually). i don't really remember and i probably never wrote more than a couple thousand words of it like that.

so then i changed the concept entirely. i wanted to keep the title and the character names (at that point iirc nerissa and poseidon were the only characters i had. they were inspired by the sacrifices arc, which i read that summer for the first time. it made me want to write a story about an older sibling who would do anything - even to the point of sacrificing themself and others - to protect their younger sibling (well, connor and harry are twins, but - still). so anyway you know. when i say nerissa is a similar character to harry, i say that because he was literally her original blueprint. other influences definitely include katara and maybe a smidge of raine from tos. it might be hard to see now without it being pointed out, i'm not sure, but like...100% hp and atla are my biggest influences wrt genre and i've grown away from them more as i've gotten older but it's very present in osa because i was so young when i drafted it originally LOL). i was like - i want nerissa to have a corruption arc because i was 14 going on 15 and i was in my first big "i hate my parents and my life" phase.

which is. uh. who nerissa's other blueprint was. me. edgy, angsty 14-year-old me (even now, it shows. so much. lmao). i decided i wanted to write a story about a character who feels somehow tainted. obviously the magical oppression is in essence a form of racism, but it's actually a total 1:1 with the author's experience of homophobia growing up in a small town and feeling really isolated as a result. the idea is, like - dark magic is bad and evil! but all magic is something inherent to its user, a part of their soul. you can't get rid of it. it would kill you (case in point: ryes, who tried and failed to do that). nerissa was actually initially a wholly dark mage. at this point in development, it became an urban fantasy story, wherein mages made up a secret underground sort of society. nerissa and poseidon were raised away from it because adrienne didn't want them involved in the inevitable war. but poseidon was a light mage, like adrienne. nerissa had a wicked inferiority complex with him, which is kind of funny because he was 12 and she was 15 but she had some issues.

anyway, the idea i was playing with was like...the classic dark = bad, light = good thing. at first, i wanted nerissa to be like...not a good person, at all LMAO. but she just didn't become that. i got about 25k words into this draft and abandoned it. in july 2016, i finished the first actual draft of osa, which more closely resembles the story it is now. there are some significant differences, but the story is fundamentally the same. the only big difference is in this draft, the kids didn't know they had magic. in the end i decided it didn't make sense for adrienne to hide that from them, so that was the biggest change in the first full rewrite, which i did in 2019. i also aged nerissa up to 16 instead of 15, and emmet and ada also got aged up 1 year (in the og draft, pelferia was ages 16-19, not 17-20). it was the thing that got me back into writing after my Literal Mental Breakdown, actually! so then i rewrote it once more in 2020, impulsively decided around idk february or so i wanted to publish it, set a date, and made a lot of stupid mistakes because i really wasn't ready to publish yet haha.

buuut even though it first went into print with some pretty bad typos (that have since been fixed, thank god), it's got a special place in my heart for sure! my perspective on the dark/light thing changed a lot the older i got and the more i had to challenge my own internalized prejudices. from the beginning, i refused to write a character who experienced fantastic racism and wasn't some sort of real-world minority herself, because those are just...bad metaphors imo. if you can't empathize with the experience of discrimination unless it's fictitiously applied to a cishet able-bodied conventionally attractive white person, idk how to tell you you're probably not a very good ally irl. i know there's a lot of discourse around including real racism or homo/transphobia in fantasy stories, but i thought - and still do think - it was important that nerissa is as much a victim of racism and homophobia (though her less so than other characters, like avery and ada, and some others introduced later in the series) as she is of magical oppression. she's a product of the way society has treated her. that's what was supposed to push her into corruption. but...that didn't happen, because i grew up and i realized that being angry and wanting other people to hurt for the suffering i had endured at the hands of our society was only actually hurting me. i understood that nerissa was not supposed to be this, either. i understood that it's a more impactful story if she learns to love the world despite all it's done to her.

i don't want to spoil the plot of the next three books, so i won't, but the point is that the story is driven by nerissa's internal conflicts (and she has a lot of these pretty much from chapter one of osa to the early chapters of old). for many years i had planned for her to have ptsd and for it to be called that - and for it to be an actual problem she has to overcome, like any debilitating illness or injury would be. there's a period of literal months in the canon timeline dedicated to her recovering from a mental breakdown, compounded by all her grief around her parents' deaths and the knowledge that they are dead because of the magic she and her brother possess. what she has to learn throughout the story is that these things didn't happen to her because of her magic. they happened to her because there are people in the world who can't accept magic that is different from theirs. and that's a really different thing!

so the tl;dr is that the story has changed a lot. but i think nerissa experiences a lot of things i experienced, and has to learn a lot of the tough lessons i had to learn, too. i think it's a good thing i didn't pick the story up again until i was an adult, because i don't think i could have written books 3 and 4 before having to come back from my own horrific mental breakdown and all the issues of grief and identity that had caused it. there...is some irony though because actually nerissa's arc was planned out for years. i didn't actually base that portion of it off my own experiences. my life just happened to go that way, and that was when i decided to come back to her story. it helped me in a really tough time - and i think it did that for me when i was 14/15, too. hence why the book is dedicated to my 14-year-old self haha. once i had my concept properly grasped, it started and ended as the story i really needed to hear when i was that age. now, i think that the last two books are probably the story i needed when i was 18, or maybe that i need now. there are very few works that i've written so wholly for myself, and this one is definitely the biggest!

19: 15 words to describe the aesthetic of osa.

ok can i start with - my pinterest board for the series is pretty nice. been working on that one for like 4-5 years. anyway! let's go with:

ocean, song, revolution, love, nature, family, magic, healing, blood, death, rebirth, grecian, fire, and...light and dark, perhaps? haha

fic asks!

#answered #oh my god this is so long im sorry #my soppy osa ramblings...cant help it. im so sorry #osa #ask games

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superangsty · 3 years

Note

👉🏼👈🏼 ive been fixating on spirk lately and would like to talk abt it, if you were being sincere in your tags

fsdgfh honestly when I want to talk about something it’s mostly just me SCREAMING bc that SCENE man that SCENE. Like, the rest of STID is garbage especially when they brought Kirk back with Khan’s blood like what was that??? Why did they do that?? Also I feel like the first two films of AOS are really missing the whole crew being like a family and made it instead about a bunch of beautiful straight people having awkwardly written personal issues.

FIRST THINGS FIRST: required reading is of course Henry Jenkin's thing about The Glass. I tend to assume everyone has read it but if you haven't. Get on that. Here it is:

When I try to explain slash to non-fans, I often reference that moment in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan where Spock is dying and Kirk stands there, a wall of glass separating the two longtime buddies. Both of them are reaching out towards each other, their hands pressed hard against the glass, trying to establish physical contact. They both have so much they want to say and so little time to say it. Spock calls Kirk his friend, the fullest expression of their feelings anywhere in the series. Almost everyone who watches the scene feels the passion the two men share, the hunger for something more than what they are allowed. And, I tell my nonfan listeners, slash is what happens when you take away the glass.

Anyway all I'm saying is that no matter what JJ Abrams thinks he CAN'T recreate WoK because he doesn't UNDERSTAND WoK at the necessary level.

But with regards to STID so like okay at a very basic level you've got two things which are 1) Spock having Big Feelings and 2) the knowledge that Vulcans kiss with their hands and these two things on their own were enough to make 14 year old me watching it in the cinema for the first time feel ABSOLUTELY INSANE like for real I've been chasing that high ever since. And when Spock starts screaming? That's the Good Shit.

Also sidenote there's this theme park nearby (ish) called Thorpe Park and I went there on school trips a couple of times and there's a ride there called Rumba Rapids and the music they play in the queue is really not relevant but its fun and when I was 16 I suggested to my friends how much funnier films would be if it was playing during sad scenes so one time we watched STID and when we got to this scene we turned the volume down low and the rumba rapids music up high. Not relevant to this post, but I just Unlocked that memory while I was thinking about this and I wanted to share.

Just gonna preface this by saying that Spock's death in WoK is obviously a lot more compelling than Kirk's in STID because in AOS JJ Abrams has this obsession with making Kirk the big hero who's so amazing and brilliant and is carrying the entire world on his shoulders so of Course he would give up his life to save the ship (and when you think of the parallels w his father doing the same it becomes even more about him trying to live up to his father's reputation and idk! I feel like it cheapens the sentiment!). Meanwhile the original films they'd moved past TOS's kirk-centric vibe and it was about the crew working together bc they're a family and it's about Spock! Who'd run away to try and escape all these feelings that had come from the enterprise! And it's like yes he can explain his decision with the 'needs of the many' logic but at the end of the day he is doing this to save the people he loves and EVERYONE knows it.

One thing I will say in STID's favour is that the lead-up to this scene with the repetition of the "Better get down here. Better hurry." line from WoK is excellent mostly because Quinto is a much better actor than Shatner and you can see how INSTANTLY he understands it's to do w Kirk as opposed to Shatner looking over at Spock's empty chair and being like huh. Wots all this then. Also I like the way Quinto Spock runs I think it's funny :)

The next part when Scotty's like blah blah decontamination whatever after Spock asks him to open the door like sure okay I can get behind Spock being so overwhelmed that his common sense flies out the window but what I DON’T like is that it's only them down there. Where is the Drama of the entire engineering department watching Kirk have a meltdown over his best friend dying? Where's Kirk needing to be held back by three people because he's so desperate to get to Spock? Where's Scotty saying 'he's dead already' and the life just DRAINING out of Kirk? In STID it's just like "open the door." "can't do that." "yeah okay whatever."

NEXT BIT: Their dying conversation. In WoK Kirk and Spock have known each other most of their lives. They don't need to say much bc they just Understand each otherand you see that! When Kirk is finishing Spock's sentence and when Spock says "I have been and always shall be your friend" which seems a lot more meaningful than STID Kirk and Spock going "I want you to know why I went back for you" "Because you are my friend" and yeah it still HURTS but it's like. They don't have the history they don't have that enduring kinda love they just have a couple of years of being vaguely passive aggressive towards each other and it's still nice for Spock to realise like oh this is friends! This is a friendship! But Kirk's death just doesn't seem as tragic!!!

That being said. There ARE some raw lines there like "I'm scared Spock. Help me not to be. How do you choose not to feel?" "I do not know. Right now I am failing." Like that's IT that's the GOOD SHIT it's been nearly 8 years and I still think about it all the time. And again I can't say much for Chris Pine but Zachary Quinto's acting is MILES ahead of Shatner's and the crying! Spock crying! It's So Much!!!!!!!! And I like the music. I like the long shot of their hands meeting between the glass. It's very cinematic which while missing the campiness of WoK has it's own charm.

I like in WoK when Spock dies and Kirk slumps like he's lost every last bit of energy he had, like he's dying too, however I ALSO very much like in STID when Spock just fucking. Screams. And then goes and runs on a train and beats up Benedict Cumberbatch. I feel like it's fitting that Kirk dying kinda untethers him and lets him just absolutely lose his shit. I love seeing men beat each other up.

This has gone on much too long. Sorry I guess it just turns out I have Thoughts and this is probably barely skimming the surface but it's 9am on a Thursday and I have class in an hour but I've been sitting here rewatching the scenes and typing out this rant. As I said I really don't think I have anything original to say but like. Here ya go babe

#spirk #god anon im sorry adsfdgh i didn't know this was gonna turn into a whole long rant but like? enjoy I guess?#Anonymous #trek #asks

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ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes · 4 years

Text

Blue Eyes Part 4

Summary: After the Garrison is shot up, the youngest Shelby daughter finds a new home in London. She strips herself of her last name and tries to live a peaceful life far away from her brothers’ chaos in Birmingham. But fate leads her right back into it after she runs into Alfie Solomons.

Part 4: Ella and Alfie go out for the first time. Tommy attempts to reconcile with his sister.

“What happened last week?

Tommy was just a second into lighting a cigarette and raised an eyebrow. His aunt strode into his office without warning. “I got married, Pol, you were there.” He replied tongue in cheek.

Polly glared at him. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about.” She snapped. “I’m talking about why your sister left without telling us.” As far as Polly was concerned, her nephew was lucky she’d given him a week to enjoy his wedded life. Now she was going to confront him about Ella.

Tommy exhaled a breath of smoke and set his lighter down to the side. “She decided to leave. I don’t see what that has to do anything with me.”

She narrowed her eyes. “She left after talking to you. Now she won’t speak to anyone, not even Ada. You need to tell me what you said to her.” She folded her arms over her chest and rooted herself in his office, a clear indication she wasn’t going to leave until he was honest.

He already felt a headache coming on. “She was asking ‘bout things that weren’t any of her business.”

“Like what?” Polly demanded. She didn’t care when he pinched the bridge of his nose with a look of displeasure at her persistence. “Like what?” She pressed.

“Don’t know what to tell you. She’s the one who left for London. It’s not my job to keep tabs on her. She can’t get upset if things happen here and she’s not told.”

Polly rolled her eyes. Sometimes getting the Shelby siblings to all get along was like pulling teeth. And it usually fell to her to keep the peace. “Life is short, you two need to make amends and stop with this fucking tantrum.”

Tommy didn’t react. He had a feeling his aunt would step in and try to make them play nice. “She’s not the little girl we helped raise anymore. She's changed.” He replied and went back to his ledger.

“What are you on about?” Polly asked with a frustrated sigh.

“M’fraid she might be getting involved with a man.”

“For Christ sake, she’s a grown woman. You three can’t lock her up in a tower to keep all the men away.” She retorted and turned on her heel to leave.

“I think you’d lock her up in a tower if you knew it was Alfie Solomons,” Tommy spoke just loudly enough for his aunt to hear.

She stopped dead in her tracks in the doorway. That was one name she didn’t want to hear associated with her niece’s. “You better not be playing with me.” She warned sternly and spun back around.

He raised his eyebrows as if he were surprised that would rattle her. Of course, he was fairly good at pushing Polly’s buttons. “She asked John about him. I asked and she lied to me.”

“How do you know she lied?” Polly reached over his desk to snatch up his case of cigarettes.

Tommy helpfully held out his lighter for her as she sat. “Because our Ella doesn’t take part in gossip. If she heard his name in passing then she wouldn’t bring it up days later. The only reason she’s asking is she knows who he is and what he does. I would bet a lot of money that they’ve crossed paths.”

Polly took in the information with a disappointed look. She assumed Ella would stay far away from men like Solomons. Wouldn’t she be able to tell the parallels between him and her brother? “So you got in a row about that.”

“Partially.” He nodded and stubbed out his cigarette. He leaned back in his leather desk chair and tilted his head back. “I’ve already sent men out to keep tabs on her.”

She gave him a look. “You really think that’s going to win her trust back? If she finds out, she’ll kick your teeth in.”

“She can kick me teeth in when I know she’s not involved with that man.”

Polly sighed and closed her eyes. “You know that the more you press, the further you’re pushing her away.” She warned thoughtfully. “She’s a young woman, she’s got your mother’s blood in her. She may dress a bit nicer now but she’s still a gypsy girl at heart.”

“That’s what I’m fucking afraid of.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

To say Ella was excited was an understatement. Wooing men had never been her strongest suit. As a young girl, she would much rather punch a boy in the face than hold his hand. Consequently, she left a lot of bad impressions on the boys who grew up around her. It didn’t help that her older brothers would threaten any guy who decided to invade her personal space. So the odds were stacked against her.

But now, Alfie had taken an interest in her. Just thinking about him was thrilling. She didn’t know what had attracted him to her, perhaps she would find out in due time.

The location of their meet up wasn’t too far so Ella was going to walk. She donned a scarlet red dress that the shop girl had convinced her to try. It turned out she was right as Ella did a few turns in the mirror, appreciating the beaded bodice and stylish fringe. She smiled and slipped on her heels, hat, and coat before stepping out.

It didn’t take long before her excitement was doused with icy water. Standing on the block corner near her apartment were two men in familiar caps.

Blinders.

She knew they were, even if her brother thought he was being tricky. They were men who weren’t around when Ella lived in Birmingham, but she had spotted them at Tommy’s wedding. Despite how clever her brother was, sometimes he overlooked how observant she could be.

“Tommy fucking Shelby.” She muttered under her breath and saw one of the men glance her way. The taller one, a lanky boy who looked like he had the devil in his eyes, attempted to look casual. But he stuck out like a sore thumb. The other looked like he was nothing but skin and bones in his hand-me-down coat.

Ella held her head high and strode past the men. They weren’t very well trained because they followed her far too closely. She rolled her eyes at her brother’s incompetent men. If you wanted a job done correctly, you did it yourself, but Tommy rarely did his own stunts anymore.

It wouldn’t take a lot to shake them off, especially in London’s evening crowd. She inserted herself into the thickest crowds, slipping through the thin cracks between groups of young men and women or families out on the town. When she figured they had lost her, she dipped into a back alley and took off her hat. Pausing for a second, she spotted the taller man walk by with a confused look on his freckled face.

Ella smiled and returned to the street, continuing on.

~~~~~~~~~~

Alfie did his best to look cool and collected. However, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been on a date. Maybe when he was a teenager? A young man? Even then, it was very rare. Most fathers would shield their pure, Jewish daughters from the Solomons boy who liked trouble. During the war, he had his fill of the nurses and French whores. But they weren’t meaningful.

When he returned, he had no time for women. For Ella Thorne, however, he would make time.

Still, his stomach was in knots. Why in the world was a man like him afraid of a little dinner? He’d faced death hundreds of times before and didn’t bat an eye. The battlefield, both in France and in London, was his forte. He was a force to be reckoned with and he didn’t care how he came across as long as people respected or feared him. Yet, he didn’t want Ella to fear him. He wanted her to look at him the way she had before. Gently and with care.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I should’ve sent a car ‘round to pick you up.” Alfie realized his mistake when he saw Ella walking towards him.

“That’s okay.” She smiled reassuringly. “It wasn’t a long walk, did I keep you waiting?”

“’Course not.” He felt his chest tighten. Yet again, he forgot how blue her eyes were. It was as if God had taken his time with her, sitting her down and mixing all the blues he could until he found the right combination. Experimenting with the strongest pigments to see how stunning he could make the woman.

“Thank you for taking me out tonight,” Ella said softly. “I really needed this.”

Alfie held out an arm to escort her down the sidewalk. It was polite, something his mother would be proud of. “Yeah, s’been a while since I’ve taken some time for meself.” He agreed. “Always working.”

Ella toed the line while still remembering Amelia’s warning. “You’ve got a very busy bakery then?” She kept her eyes to the sidewalk to make sure her heels didn’t catch in gaps of the cobblestones.

“Very busy.” There was a hint of a smile behind his mustache. “And you, what do you do?” He was much more interested in talking about Ella than himself. He couldn’t divulge too much about himself until he knew she could be trusted. A set of blue eyes wouldn’t loosen his lips.

“I’m a typist for a law firm.” She answered with a shrug. “Nothing too exciting.” She kept close to Alfie to avoid running into people passing on the sidewalk.

Alfie caught a whiff of her perfume and felt his heart quicken. He was sure they were quite the sight, a sinful man next to such a warm, tender creature. “Sometimes exciting ain’t always a good thing.”

Ella glanced up at him as if he’d read her mind. “You’ve no idea.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alfie Solomons was a charming man. He’d been so brutal in the bar the night they’d met, but Ella realized that was all a front. A man who needed to establish himself as someone who would resort to violence if necessary. But sitting across from her, he was a smooth talker and a charismatic personality. He was warm but twisted his way around certain questions. It led Ella to believe he didn’t want to talk about his business.

Still, they didn’t run out of things to talk about. He was much more than his business dealings. He was much more educated than Ella expected on face value. Education wasn’t as important in her family. You couldn’t learn the tools necessary to be a Shelby at school. The siblings were street smart and quick-witted.

Alfie seemed to be similarly raised, yet he had taken time to become more learned on elite subjects. Perhaps it was to fit in better in London. It would be extremely helpful to speak the language of both street rats and aristocrats. Ella had a feeling her brother was trying to accomplish the same thing.

“You’re a quiet little thing, ain’t ya?” Alfie asked about halfway through the dinner. “Not boring you to death, am I?”

“No, no, of course not,” Ella said hurriedly. “I’m just not as…worldly as you.” She admitted shyly. “Never even been outside the country. I mean, you’ve been to France. I’ve always wanted to go there, I just don’t think I’d fit in very well.”

Alfie simply shook his head. “Love, those Parisian women would kill to be as fucking gorgeous as you are.”

Her face went bright pink and she ducked her head in embarrassment. “Oh, I dunno.”

“Here’s the thing,” He reached over and tilted her chin up with the lightest of touches. “I wouldn’t lie ‘bout something like that, right?”

Her eyes searched his face, lingering on the long scar across his jaw. “Would you lie about something else?” She asked quietly.

“I don’t lie often, love. I wouldn’t lie to you, know that for certain.”

She chewed on her lower lip and thought about all the things she was keeping from Alfie. Maybe he would lie to her, but she knew for a fact, that she was the first to lie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the secret she was keeping, Ella was unable to stay away from Alfie. He was one of the most intriguing men she had ever met and that was saying something coming from a girl raised by Irish Travelers.

Not only was he interesting but he also treated Ella like she was one of the world’s natural wonders. She had never gotten attention quite like the type Alfie gave her. He took every lull in the conversation to compliment her. No matter how many times he called her beautiful, it still made her flustered.

It got to the point that Ella stopped thinking about their dates as an insult to her brother. In fact, she rarely thought about her family when she was with him. He had a way of capturing her full attention and making her forget about the world around them. She often forgot about his reputation as well. There would be some hints to it, several people dodging his path and giving Ella a side-eye when they saw her on his arm. It wasn’t much different to the way she was once treated in Birmingham. People would either greet her politely to stay in the Shelbys’ good graces or avoid her entirely. She could only imagine the things they whispered about her behind her back. Gypsy girl. Sister of demons. Hellion.

Now, she’d created a new image for herself. One that was unique to London. And it was far from the woman she wanted to become in her new home. For a moment, she wanted a quiet life with no fuss or activity.

But Shelbys were never satisfied with silence. Something deep in their blood craved the adrenaline. And men like Alfie Solomons were akin to a drug.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lucky guess.” Alfie frowned. He squeezed her hand while they walked through Regent’s Park. Spring was in full bloom and the gangster was happy to spend the warm morning with Ella.

“It was not a lucky guess. I had one-twelfth of a chance of guessing correctly.” She replied firmly. “And I knew you were born in November.”

“You guessed that I was born in November.” He smiled and shook his head. “Anyone could guess that.”

“Mhm, sure. It’s in me blood, I know when people were born.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “But you don’t have to believe me, not everyone does.”

He chuckled. “I like you a lot, Thorne.” He murmured. Alfie did, he truly did. In fact, outside of family members, he wasn’t sure he’d ever cared so much about someone. Ella was the type of woman he didn’t think existed. A beautiful woman with a clever wit, sharp tongue, yet a softness that was underappreciated by others. Most would focus on her strong will rather than the gentleness in her eyes and touch.

Ella smiled and glanced up at him. “I like you a lot too.” She replied with a blush spreading over her cheeks.

Alfie found them a bench to sit so they could talk. “M’fucking glad I met you.” He said quietly, tilting his head down to converse privately with her.

She took his hand in hers, the tips of her fingers grazing over his calloused palm. She smiled at the memory of one of the Lee girls insisting little Ella would be married before she was thirty just by reading the lines on her palm. Ella had merely laughed and proclaimed she was never getting married. Now, it appeared the Lee had really predicted something viable.

“I feel the same way.” Her nails grazed across his wrist, over the veins, and to the bracelet he usually wore. “I always used to scoff at love.” She admitted. “I thought it was just blind foolishness.”

Ella’s soft touch sent a shiver down Alfie’s spine. He felt undeserving of her affection but wasn’t going to deny it. “What do you think ‘bout it now?” He murmured.

She smiled at him. “I still think it’s foolish. But I’d rather be foolish with you than miserable with anyone else.”

He chuckled. “Cheeky girl.”

She didn’t answer with words. Instead, she replied by touching his cheek and leaning in to kiss him.

Alfie was unsure what he did to deserve such a gesture. Surely God wasn’t blessing him after all the atrocious sins he’d committed. But there was no way in hell she was some sort of punishment or demon in disguise. She was far too tender and her touch was sincere.

Ella’s hand rested on his cheek, her thumb grazed against the scar cutting through his beard. The pads of her fingers tickled across the skin as if she were healing him, cleansing him of sin.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thorne residence.” Ella got to the phone as she walked into her apartment.

“Ella, it’s Lizzie.” Tommy’s secretary greeted on the other line.

She furrowed her eyes in confusion. She hadn’t spoken to Lizzie in a few years. The woman had a complicated relationship with the Shelby family and Ella didn’t have too much of an issue with her. But, she couldn’t ignore the grief she had caused John. “Oh, hello.”

“Tommy asked me to call you and see if you were available this weekend.” She explained.

“Really?” Ella raised an eyebrow. Now Tommy was resorting to having his secretary call her? “Why?”

“He invited you to come to Warwickshire and come hunting with him.”

Tommy always had a reason for everything. He never just set up a casual gathering. Tommy Shelby didn’t waste time. Either he wanted something from her or wanted information from her.

Fine. Two could play at that game. “Tell my brother that I would love to.” She replied. “Have him send a car for me Saturday morning.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a while since Ella had gone hunting. For a while, they didn’t have the opportunity when they were in Birmingham. But she learned to shoot a gun when she was only eight-years-old. She’d trail along with her brothers through the forest, hunting rabbits and hedgehogs a short distance away from the vardos. Her aim was good, not as good as John’s, but she was shit at trying to sneak up on an animal. Tommy was always able to get the closest to the critters.

When she arrived at Arrow House, she was a little annoyed. Not because of her brother’s behavior, but because she had been excited on the drive to Warwickshire. Hunting with just Tommy was always the best when they were younger. She still held out hope that things could go back to the way they once were. But her rational brain knew that was impossible. Not after all Tommy had done and not after she’d kissed Alfie Solomons.

Mary, Tommy’s maid, directed her to the stables where he was waiting.

Tommy was standing outside with his black gelding and the gray she’d been admiring at his wedding. “Thought you might want to try him out.” He said as if offering the horse as an olive branch. “He’s a smooth ride but stubborn.”

“I put up with you and you’re stubborn,” Ella replied and took the reins from him.

He tossed his cigarette to the side. “I’d like to apologize for the way I spoke to you.”

His sister studied his face. He appeared genuine, but she was sure he still had ulterior motives for the day out. “Well, I’m sorry as well. I think we both said things we regretted.”

“You’re a part of this family. But you have the right to live where you wish. I should’ve told you about Charlie and Grace.”

“Mhm…” Ella was worried that he could sense the guilt radiating off her. Surely he knew she was hiding something from him.

But he merely smiled. “Should we head out?” He asked. “Need a boost up?”

She rolled her eyes. “’Course not, m’not little anymore.”

“Right, of course.” He watched as his sister heaved herself up into the saddle from the ground. It looked difficult but she’d never ask for his help, not like she used to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

They began down the trail, the two horses plodding along side by side. There was a chill in the air and fog hung low in the meadows they passed through. The remained in silence for a bit. Ella focused on getting used to the horse underneath her. As Tommy said, the gelding had a smooth gait but continued to try and bend to the left. He was strong, but she had fought with stronger horses before.

“Do you miss riding?” Tommy asked. They could probably talk about their shared interests in horses without breaking out into an argument.

“Yes.” She nodded without explaining it away or defending her actions.

“Well, whenever you need fresh air, you can come out here.” He offered. “There’s a bay mare that loves to jump. There are a few stonewalls on a path that she could get over without breaking a sweat. Very fast too, but couldn’t get her to behave on the track.”

Ella nodded. He must remember how she loved horses that could leap over fences and fallen logs with ease. She adored the feeling of being airborne even for just a few seconds. The thrill was unlike anything she would ever know. Although, the swooping feeling in her stomach could probably be compared to kissing Alfie. She smiled faintly.

“So, how’s London?” Tommy asked.

“Don’t you know?” She raised an eyebrow and glanced over at her brother.

“I haven’t been in some time. Been in Birmingham or here.”

“Well, I’m sure your men could tell you. They are shit at their jobs though.” She shrugged casually. “You should find someone better.”

Tommy let out a low chuckle. “Can’t get anything past you, can I, El?”

“It’s patronizing, Thomas.” She replied sharply. “I don’t need your daft boys on me tail whenever I leave the fucking house.”

“Can you blame me for being worried?” He kept a level head. The last thing he wanted was to break out into another fight with her. One more and she might move across the Pond to get away from him.

“I’ve been on my own for four years. I think I can handle myself perfectly well. If you were really worried, you could’ve sacked up and come to me personally. Instead, you’re treating me like one of your enemies.”

“No.”

“Yes, Tommy. Do you have John or Arthur followed? What about Ada?” She pointed out. “No, just me because I’m not under your thumb."

“You’re my baby sister.” He insisted. “If Finn was in London on his own, I’d do the same. You two are still young and don’t know just how dangerous the world can be.”

Ella stopped the gelding in the middle of the path. “Tommy, I’m older than John was when he went to war.” She pointed out.

Tommy paused, slowing his horse down as well. Was that true? He’d been twenty-five going on twenty-six when they left. John was five years younger. Ella was now twenty-three. He sighed. “Yes, I s’pose that’s true.”

“I think I have a right to worry about you more than you have to worry about me.” She nudged the horse on when they came into another open field. “I’m going to let him stretch his legs.” Before her brother could get another word in, she clucked her tongue and prodded the gray into a canter.

Tommy lengthened the reins, allowing his horse to extend his neck out. The gelding trotted a few steps through the long grass, tossing his head about every so often. He kept an eye on his sister, thinking about how little control he had over her. It terrified him and made him worry about the trouble she could get into. Trouble that he might not be able to get her out of until it was too late. Then he thought about the men who he’d tasked with watching her. They were definitely ready for a job evaluation when he returned to Birmingham.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After bagging three hares, Tommy and Ella rode back to Arrow House. The sun was high in the sky and they were both generally in pleasant moods. The hunting trip had reminded them of how it used to be and how silly it was to keep arguing. It was a compromise of sorts. Tommy said he wouldn’t have her watched anymore and Ella said she would keep in better contact with the family. They could both be satisfied with the stipulations.

Grace had arranged to have tea outside when they came back. She and Charlie were in the back lawns, the toddler sitting and pulling at the grass.

“Successful hunt?” Grace asked with a smile when she saw them return.

“No stags, although Tommy promised we’d find one.” Ella shot her brother a look.

He chuckled and sat down next to his wife at the iron-wrought table. “If we’d found a stag, you would’ve made me carry it the whole way home.”

Grace was happy to see they were in good spirits. She’d talked to Tommy before his sister had arrived. She reminded him that they were family and no matter how he felt about the wedding night, he needed to make amends as Polly had said. But she had her doubts. The woman knew how volatile Shelby siblings could get with each other when they had a reason to be.

Still, it appeared that the morning out together had been a success. Ella hadn’t left and they weren’t at each other’s throats.

Ella knelt down in front of Charlie. “I swear you’ve grown a meter since I saw you last!” She cooed and picked him up. The little boy laughed and grabbed at his aunt’s hair.

“Careful, he’ll yank out a few pieces if you let him,” Tommy warned.

“Well, he is a Shelby. Finn was a terror growing up. Took off running from us the moment he could stand on his own.”

“We were all like that.” He nodded. “Luckily, he’s taken on Grace’s personality as well.” He took his wife’s hand and she smiled.

“You’re a natural with him, Ella,” Grace said gently.

“I’ve helped Ada with Karl after Freddie passed.” She explained and smiled fondly at her nephew.

“Do you think you’ll have any of your own?” Her sister-in-law inquired.

Ella laughed with a wince. She stood up with Charlie on her hip and sat at the table. “I’d have to be married first, wouldn’t I?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve got plenty of London boys falling over themselves to win you.” Grace smiled and poured her a cup of tea. “You’ve got those Shelby blue eyes.”

Tommy sighed and offered to take Charlie from his sister. “Ella used to spit at any boy who tried to kiss her. We had to make sure she wouldn’t bite them too.”

Ella rolled her eyes and plopped two sugar cubes into her teacup. “Yes Tommy, I still spit at any man who would dare speak to me.” She said sarcastically.

Her brother looked amused and let Charlie hold his pocket watch. “Forgive me if I can’t imagine you with a man.”

“I do just fine, thank you for your concern.” She replied and thought about Alfie.

“So we’ll get to meet him soon then, aye?” Tommy let Charlie down as the boy began to squirm and whine. The boy toddled off to pluck a few dandelions out of the ground and carry them around in his pudgy hand. Tommy pulled out a cigarette and offered the pack to Grace and his sister.

“Don’t know what you’re on about.” Ella took a cigarette but Grace turned it down. “Meet who? There isn’t anyone to meet.”

“Maybe you’ll just end up on your own in the countryside then?” Tommy chuckled. “Like you always wanted. Small cottage with stables full of horses.”

Grace smiled. “Sounds like a lovely retirement plan to me.” She took the dandelions that Charlie offered her. “Thank you, love.” She kissed his forehead.

“A couple of horses and a dog.” Ella shrugged. “Don’t need much else.”

“Didn’t think you liked dogs.”

She thought about Cyril who had grown attached to her. Alfie took him along whenever they took walks in the park. If they sat, the bullmastiff would rest his head on her lap. His sad eyes would close contently when she scratched his ears. His droopy cheeks would leave drool on her coat but she never minded.

“You did like Jeta Lee’s, foxhound as a girl.” Her brother recalled the dog that would always hunt for a little snack from the Shelby children if they were in the Lee camp.

“Yeah, or something bigger.” She shrugged casually and sipped her tea to hide her small smile.

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Reviewcaps: Amphibia: Swamp and Sensibility / Wax Museum

This week Anne tries to treat life like a ABCFamily Original Movie with predictable results while Kermit the frog cameos and the rest of the family wonder into a few possible Jordan Peele Movies. Then Anne stumbles into a Gravity Falls Homage and Frog Stan nearly murders her because that’s our boy. That’s our boy right there. Be warb under the cut.

Wooo hoo! While this one’s a little wait both due to work on another review for a certain episode, this was a decent episode to cap off our long road trip. We’re now one week away from Marcy debuting and also Keith motherfucking David.

I have no idea what enlisted is or what the hell is going on here but it’s keith david casually laying on a bicyle in full uniform. How could I not?

Before we get to this week here’s last week’s recap, as tumblr ate it for reasons.. as you can also see if you click on my blog I tided up my subpages, so amphibia reviews can now be found in the general disney section along with ducktales and star vs. Now that’s out of the way our last episodes before marcy and keith, i’m a day behind, let’s a go.

Swamp and Sensiblility

I”m also going to try going a bit looser.. still recapping what happens but not beat for beat as it’s gotten tiring and I sometimes strain for jokes especially when tired. So this week The Plantars find themselves stranded in Ribbiton, the most expensive city in amphibia after betsy breaks her reigns and, not having any other options are forced to stay with Hop Pop trying to keep the kids from getting distracted by the luxury. Thankfully they find an old friend: It’s One Eyed Wally!

Actually got an outside gif to work! Also hooray! But I did really like wally after his spotlight episode last season and his insane plan with the explosives that wound up paying off.. that’s some Wolverine level thinking.. no really he once cut the wires open in a sewer during a rainstorm so when the water inevitibly hit them it’d cause a blackout and hopefully help the x-men when it did if things had gone sideways.. which by the time it did, it did and they had. So good on you guys. Anyways turns out Wally’s a rich boy but he’s gone too far because he know it don’t matter anyway.. and has been hiding his true self from his family, so the plantars showing up really dosen’t help. Thankfully he’s able tos top them from talking or correcting his father assuming their the help and our family takes lord rich asshole up on his offer to stay the night at their mansion, which in what I assume is a nod to gravity falls has peacocks on the lawn, though this being Amphibia their giant and deadly and you shouldn’t look right at them.

Once in their fancy guest room, Anne wonders...

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Wally explains, as I did he’s hiding himself. Anne sees parallels with a movie she was watching at the start of the episode from point to pop and lock which looks like my own personal hell.. aka an abc family original movie back before it became freeform, which is a more fitting name for what the network horrifcally mutated into over time so fair enough. It’s better than say keeping the names MTV or TLC long after either of those acronyms is at all accurate.. and at least with MTV they have almost 40 years of brand recognition to justify it with. But yeah it’s about a ballerina who wants to hip hop dance, you’ve seen the story a million time.. and a plot repeated here about a kid wanting to live their dreams but worrying their family won’t accept them or knowing they won’t, with wally, while not carrying for the money, not wanting to loose his family or his beloved bug... which reminds me of that Pokemon episode with James and his growlithe only without a carbon copy of jesse trying to use bdsm to make james obey which is not how that works Jessebelle. That’s not how any of that works. What.. what even was that episode.. I mean somehow it was really good and makes me question why Jesse and James never hooked up but still, what WAS that.

Anyways, while Anne decides to interfere, the Plantars get a great montage of wondering into various creepy shit with toad saunas, rich people smashing things, and one frog in a peacock outfit among actual peacocks.. just.. yeah.. real Jordan Peele/Blumhouse “Rich white people are fucking terrifying” shit.. which is accurate. Thankfully instead of getting trapped in their own bodies or forced to star in the boy, our heroes make it back to Anne. At dinner Anne outs wally as a frigging weirdo with predictable results. Yeah the one flaw I can find with this episode is it’s REALLY predictable up to this point: Anne watches a movie, is obviously going to encounter someone with similar problems, then tries using that movie as real life, it fails but then somehow workso ut in the end or dosen’t but the person is happy anyway. What does spice it up though is the final act, as Wally decides fuck it , he’s going to take control of his own life and issues a family challenge against his dad to do so, something Anne, and me honeslty, had forgotten about from last season as that was 30 years ago and one of the less memorable episodes. Still nice bit of continuity. But with wally lacking a mount because his dad’s a prick, Anne pitches in to fix her screw up and we get a decently shot sequence, and amontage, as Anne and Wally play rich polo against wally’s dad. Oh and of course the more notable part of this, Kermit the Frog here, if sadly the minty fresh matt vogel one instead of the sadly fired Steve Whitmire.. still not over that but oddly Vogel does a better job here than on muppets now as I genuinely could not tell it was him so it works. But yeah, it’s not Vogel doing a voice but Kermit DOING voicework for amphibia, because Muppets get wonderfully meta and Disney wanted to keep this gimmick going. yes going, as last year Fozzy did voice acting for Big City Greens... I fucking love this and hope disney keeps doing it for all their shows. Do Owl House next.

Anywho Kermit commentates and it’s okay, they don’t do much with him but the sheer novelty of Kermit playing a thinly veiled copy of himself that still looks like a muppet still kinda works. Anyways wally ends up winning via hair accordion (”How long has that been in there?” “At least a full season”) and his dad dosen’t want Wally to leave the family.. which neither does he, he just wants to be accepted, his father accepts him, reveals he also likes music, happy end. Final Thoughts: As you can tell I kinda breezed through this one but unlike other just okay episodes lately i’ts not half bad and while using a stock plot, it does use it cleverly, and to help flesh out a character we like.. it’s still very by thenumbers but the neat setting of the rich people mansion, the plantars journey through it’s creepy bowels and kermit the frog cameoing all really help boost what otherwise would’ve just be “the episdoe before the gravity falls homage” it still was but it was enjoyable enough. It’s just in a day where disney said gay rights and i’ts sister episode is again an homage to one of Disney’s greatst shows in it’s storied animated television history, it’s also easy to forget. If nothing else it was nice to have Wally back. I do think that helped. As you can probably also tell these road episodes have been wearing on me.. while their not BAD, and some are infact quite excellent, a few like this one, quarallers pass, and the acting and western episodes, are just.. eh. The character flaws they bring up are only one episode and they don’t really felsh out the charcters enough. Even here while it’s nice to get more dimension to wally i’ts not really by much. They just feel fairly stock in a show that while using some stock plots usually can do so creatively. I think that’s the core problem: it’s not that these are TERRIBLE it’s just I expect better form the show in a typical episode, and from the interesting setups the road brings, especially since it DOES deliver on them in other episodes and i’m kinda glad this stretch is finished next week. That being said it does go out on one hell of a note..

Wax Museum So after weeks of anticipation, our road trip ends on an episode that was hyped up before the season even began.. a weird move given this is week 5 and i’d of saved the interviews for closer like Disney does with ducktales, but regardless, this one was worth the wait. First my quick, since I tend to go overboard on my thoughts on shows, thoughts on Gravity Falls: It’s fucking excellent. I stand by calling it one of disney channels best shows and while certaint hings could’ve used more time, like Dipcifica seriously I have no idea why tease that and then do nothing with it when they still had plenty of time left int he series even with Ford. But yeah a few minor quibbles aside the series was really good, left us wanting more which after seeing other shows sputter into flames at the end, hello Star Vs, I can live with. So yeah I was hyped for this one, especially since Amphibia creator Matt Braley not only worked on Gravity Falls but got Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch’s blessing.. and of course, Alex being a peach of a guy, just yesterday he proudly cooed over the fact Dana Terrance actually got Disney to have a bisexual lead character after he struggled to get anything remotley LBGTQ into gravity falls. He’s a good guy. And a weirdo but he’s my kind of weirdo. But being so nice, he naturally agreed to return as stan expy the curator and frog soos. While that is all we get, I do get not wanting to shohorn 80 refrences to the show in or get a ton of voice actors to come back for a cameo, nor try and include the twins due to the plot of this episode really not working with them around, thougH I WOULD have appricated frog mcgucket, but eh, you can’t get everything you want. Said plot is again simple but really intresting: The Plantars stop in a small town and are dead broke, but Anne casually taking off her hood and being reminded she’s seen as a freak ends up as a lucrative buisness opprotunity as naturally small town yokels are fine with gawking. So with the plantars now having actual money to see the sighs Anne settles on the curosity hut, our mystery shack for the evening. The rest of the plantars, especially Polly who sees some eyes move, are utterly unverved byt he place and by it’s owner, the curator, our stan pines.. or stan ponds if you will. I mean if the series has a chuck and other normal names here an there, including Polly, then it’s not a stretch to say his first name stayed the same. Anyways, Stan shows the family around, including Air Mantis, because hell yes and some gnomes and other callbacks to gravity falls.. but I like how theirs only a handful to gravity falls monsters. There’s plenty of refrences but the episode wisely goes more for the FEEL of Gravity Falls: The creepy setting, weirder monsters (even if amphibia dosen’t shy away from weird , last episode had sheep bugs and all), and spooky vibe from the curosity hut all feel like the tone Gravity Falls went for, which is similar enough to amphibia the two mesh well. Plus the curator is basically a SLIGHTLY more evil stan pines... SLIGHTLY., and Braly naturally having worked on the show nails the character in writing while Hirsch steps back into the roll like it was just yesterday. It feels like a love letter to what the show was rather than just “hey remember this cool thing from it”, with still plenty of nice nods here and there.

Anyways back to the actual plot, the rest of the Plantars decides to leave because this place gives them the creeps as does Stan, but once htey leave Anne finds something: A skipman! Which is a great name for a portable cd player.. seriously I had one of those early in high school, the skipping really was constant hell. If anyone ever complains about mp3s, smack em. I do not miss that era. Have a bit of nostalgia for it sure, but I do not actually MISS it.

Anyways, yeah this is a big deal and it’s nice that even in the homage to it’s parent show, we get a rather big plot point: something else came from Earth and given Anne dosen’t recognize it as Marcies, though It still could be but I highly doubt it, it didn’t come with the three of them, meaning there were humans BEFORE.. possibly centuries in amphibia time given what we’ve seen so far. After all a great calamity had happened, it somehow invovles the box that brought anne here... no one says time travel can’t be involved. And it’ll raise even more in a minute. But first Stan offers a million coppers for it. not being made of money Anne instead bargins on her weirdness: One day of performance in exchange for the discman. Sounds good Stan. He certainly doesn’t have any evil plans. Wink... he’s telling you he’s winking because one eye’s under an eyepatch. Naturally Stan has less than good intetions and ominously plots to frog soos.. which I absolutley love how they just call him frog soos, who postulates on multiverse theroy because he’s apparently been licking himself agian. Oh that soos... I always knew he was on something. Also while he dosen’t get a high from it I don’t doubt human soos also licks himself for unrelated reasons.

Anyways the rest of the family are skpetical of Anne meeting stan at night.. which is fair. I wouldn’t want my nieces or nephews, and one of the nephews is around anne’s age, around stan alone for any length of time. I mean he’s fine with his own family but I know i’d find them in a child size armadillo suit having been fed questionable canned meats after having to dance for gawking yokels. Plus stan has resting “Call the police fan” so HOp Pop wants to just discuss it in the morning first before remotley trusting this guy. But anne impulsively decides to just sneak out when their asleep. More on that in a bit. Naturally trusting the strange man she just met who presumibly traffics ladypugs in this reality and constnatly looks like he wants your wallet goes poorly as Stan traps Anne and plans to incase her in wax like the other exibits. The plantars realize anne is missing and rush in with Polly trying to face her fear and ending up freeing ah orrifying monster “This is way worse’ indeed. Meanwhile Stan is annoying anne who’s praying for the wax to get her in one of the best bits of the episode.. because of COURSE stan would talk inncoently to someone he’s kdinapped while eating canned beef. To me it’s another nice touch: While the caretaker IS more of a villian than stan, for obvious reasons, given he’s put a random person behind glass just for not buying things, dressed his own grandson up in a humilating wolf suit and had soos use a fucking boiler for his employee break room, it’s not a hgue stretch to say a pre-character development, i.e. pre dipper and mabel to convince him to be slightly better, Stan would kidnap a bunch of freaky wax creatures. It’s also why i’m okay Jason Ritter and Krystin Schall didn’t return. Their great and I woul’dve loved to have dipper and mabel back.. but the episode just dosen’t work with them in it even as a cameo, and they could easily show up in a followup later if they choose to bring this character back. Probably not but hey stranger things have happend. Stan does however reveal something important: He got the discman from newtopia.. where a bunch of OTHER artifacts are. Thankfully before that information becomes useless to Anne, Sprig and Hop Pop show up to the rescue and Stan fights them thinking their cops as he dosen’t want to go back to frog jail. And even once he finds out their not, he still wants a new attraction because this is stan and again, as good as he is by series end, or at least marginally better, I still wouldn’t put it past him to put sentient creatures in wax. This however backfires as once Polly frees the creature above sprig and hop pop free the rest, and the giant throng of monsters drags Stan off, with blood popping up.. though he assures us it’s just wax so he could show up again. Probably not. He also offers htem 10 perecent, and goes up to 11.5 but that’s as far as we go. Goodbye again stan. I’ll miss you buddy. Seriously I absolutley loved the character and even with a shifter copy it was really nice to have him back for an episode. The family carts Anne off and back at the campsight Anne bemoans not getting the skipman.. luckily Sprig grabbed it on their way out, because h’es a good friend, but Hop Pop and Pollly are annoyed at anne for once again recklesly endangering herself without considering them and forcing them to save her (As polly pefectly puts it I”m tired of facing my fears anne) And that’s why I saved that: this episode deconsturcts anne’s tendency to act before she reallyt hinks or consult anyone else and actually has the family confront her on it, though she does genuinely apologize so hopefully it’ll stick. But yeah now newtopia offers even more promise and anne offers hop pop an accidental laser to the eye vai the skipman to close out the episode. Final Thoughts: As you can probably tell If reaking loved this one. Instead of just apping gravity falls, as I pointed it out i more felt like a gravity falls episode in miniture, mixed with Amphibia to still feel like it belonged in amphibia, and with Stan back just slightly more evil. Slightly. Alex Hirsch was as always a massive delight and it was a treat to have him back, and it was a really damn good note to close the road trip out on after some middling episodes, toadcatcher excluded. Not much else to say, it was really damn good, easily the seasno’s second best after toadcatcher. Next Time: MARCY. KEITH DAVID. Ants? Good times. Until then you can find more disney reviews under the disney tab on my blog including the entire season of amphibia thus far and season 3 of ducktales thus far. Until we meet again, courage.

#amphibia #gravity falls #wax museum #swamp and sensiblity #anne boonchuy #reviews #recaps #disney channel #alex hirsch #matt braley #stan pines #soos #frog soos #the curator

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mirrorfalls · 3 years

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Lego Liveblogs ST: TOS, part 20 (of who-the-hell-knows-how-many?)

The Alternative Factor! Another of Season 1′s perennial bridesmaids - I don’t even know if any alien races are supposed to show up in this one - but it doesn’t show up on any worst-of lists either, so hopes are reasonably good.

* Well, it’s good to see Kirk’s learned from last episode. If anything goes wrong on the bridge immediately have a bunch of armed guards with you. * Oh, an all-Redshirt escort? This one’s gonna be bloody. * Is that Abin Sur’s ship? ** Wait. Is this the space hippie episode?! *** Oh, apparently not. It’s the Kirk-and-company-investigate-a-weird-cosmic-thingy-by-themselves-again episode. *** (Also: that’s one nice ‘do you’ve got there, lieutenant.) * “Can you assign me other starships as a reserve?” “Negative. Do you know what our budget is like this week?!” * Okay, I admit this guy doesn’t seem to be playing with a full deck, but remember the last bug-eyed loony who came aboard was 100% telling the truth Kirk. I say we- ** “Then you'll join me in my holy cause?” Oop, nevermind. No way Roddenberry would put the word “holy” in a mouth we’re meant to sympathize with. * “I've simply made the logical deduction that you are a liar.” And I’ve simply made the logical observation that you’re getting pretty big for someone who sees the Enterprise’s equipment get tricked by Advanced Aliens about once a week, Spock. * So this is where all the budget went. A History of the World-style acidtrip. * Anyway... is this Big Phenomenon, like, doing anything apart from making a bunch of instruments flip out? For all the sturm and drang this episode’s tried to throw at us, this feels like the slowest, talkiest script yet. * We’re doing the “You have to believe me!” bit between Kirk and Bones? Really? * Okay, I think I’ve sussed it by now. This is some kinda Space Split-Personality, right? Every time his Evil Half or whatever takes over, it brings its own, completely separate (but identical!) human body. In other words: The Enemy Within, Redux. * Ah, now there’s the Kirk I know and love. Spock being obtuse? Just compare him to Bones. * Crystals as the MacGuffin du jour? Last time that happened was Mudd’s Women. You better have a good reason bring them back up, episode. * Bro, you gotta stop with the rock-climbing. It just ain’t your sport. * So we’re dropping time travel and parallel universes within five, at most ten minutes of one another... I’m definitely intrigued in this effort to deep-dive (by ‘60s standards) the science end of science fiction, especially since there’s still plenty of time left for the ep to explore it in detail. ** “The next, calm, mild, rational...” Spock, what show have you been watching the last thirty minutes? ** That notwithstanding, I’m absolutely here for Kirk and Spock piecing everything together without needing to see the guy Shift Universes or whatever right in front of them. * Oh, come on! You guys don’t even have locks on the fuseboxes?! ** Or guards who actually know how to fight back?! *** (Yeah, sure, bring a whole detail of these guys to the Big Confrontation, fat lot of good they’ll be.) * Last-act climax, babey! ** What? No instant goatee? This Other Universe sucks, I want a refund! * Looks like I guessed right. The “good” twin is the evil one, the “evil” one the good... ** ... and the only way to stop them from blowing up two universes is for them to trap each other inside the... Dimensional Corridor thingy? What? ** I get the emotional beat the script is going for here - Kirk has to condemn a heroic man to an eternal Hell for the greater good - but this just takes way too many leaps of logic. Why can’t Starfleet just cuff the evil one and stuff him into Space Jail somewhere? * Ah, well. Phasers go zzzt, ship goes boom, Kirk goes Very Sad, roll credits.

Up until the last act or so, I was ready to give this one a passing grade, but I’m sorry - that resolution is so balls-out stupid that even the very worthy idea behind it isn’t enough to lift it past the gate. On the bright side, it does give the whole alternate-universes concept a foot in the door, and that’s slated to bear delicious fruit come Season 2.

Next: Let’s do the time warp. Again!

#Lego Liveblogs Star Trek #Star Trek: The Original Series

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strangergrove · 4 years

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× VOL 002 × 05.02.2020 ×

TUMBLR | @pretty-bratty AO3 | prettybratty

× Baby Can You See Through the Tears ×

SERIES: Baby Can You See Through the Tears

CHAPTERS: 11/?

WORD COUNT: 60,811

There are a few things that Billy knows about Steve Harrington. Not a single one of them explains Harrington's weird as fuck behavior lately.

(or, when Steve acts out, it's apparently up to Billy to fix it, even if he doesn't know it himself yet).

Pretty-bratty weaves a beautifully cathartic story of desperation and release, of loneliness and compassion, of found family, of love. The story unfolds from Billy's POV, which allows us to see first-hand the struggles he experiences as he tries to improve himself and become someone Steve can not only trust and feel protected by, but someone he can count on to give him the structure and discipline he's been desperately lacking his entire life. Billy struggles with his feelings for Steve, with voicing them. At the same time, Steve struggles with learning to trust and obey and let someone actually take care of him for once, because even though that's all he craves, it's been ingrained into him that it's not okay to want that, to need that.

The story and characters are wonderful, but the writing itself is beautiful too. There are moments, lines, that just strike you and you have to reread them. There are pokets of stardust woven into the fabric of the story and it's such a delight every time you come across one. The whole fic is a delight. I look forward to every single update of this story.

× This aesthetic piece ×

FICLET

A short and stunning piece about the way the world seems to glow at every edge when you're madly in love with someone the way Billy is with Steve.

The writing here is just so beautiful and sensory. Reading it feels like looking through old Polaroids and reminiscing about those golden moments you had forgotten about. There's something in the way the words are woven together that feels good, sounds good in my head. It's sweet and fizzy and you want to envelop yourself in the feel of it. It feels like it could be a scene from an incredibly heart warming movie.

× This piece ×

FICLET

This piece is about lingering pain, about the way things haunt us, about how sometimes it's just best to show you're hurting.

I love the way Steve's life presses at the edges of this story. We know the things he's been through, we know about his absentee parents, but most of the people in his life don't. You can feel the way this pulls at Steve, how everything in his life is constantly weighing on him. The way we're told that Steve has a particular phrase set on repeat in his head, but we're not privy to this phrase immediately is a great tool, because the suspense of what has been grinding through Steve's head parallels beautifully with the pressure building beneath his skin. We get that release at the same time as Steve.

TUMBLR | @greyspilot AO3 | greyspilot

× objects in the mirror are closer than they appear ×

WORD COUNT: 2,334

CHAPTERS: 1/1

Steve wasn’t scared of much anymore, but as he tip-toed through the woods, dead silent aside from the crunch of leaves beneath his feet, he couldn’t seem to help the chill that crept up his spine.

Reposted for Horrorscopes round 1.

This story is the kind of horror that you can feel but you can't see. It creeps on you, slowly, latching onto you with invisible hooks. I got chills twice while reading this. The suspense, the anticipation crawls through the story in just the right way, and the pacing is spot on. We feel the dread building, the sense of wrongness growing more intense with every line. We know. We know something is wrong, off, and we can't do anything about it.

The use of single sentence paragraphs in key areas of the story drives it in such a way you can feel everything beginning to spiral out of control. One of my favourite tools used in this wonderful piece is the mirroring of the beginning at the end. You see these lines in a different way, in a haunting way. It's a lovely dip into Harringrove horror.

× i'm falling again (but this time it's in love with you) ×

WORD COUNT: 3,453

CHAPTERS: 1/1

All he knew was that one moment he was out at the quarry, beer in hand and Billy by his side and the next he was wondering if Billy’s eyes had always been that blue, if his skin had always been that warm, if Steve had always wanted to kiss him.

He hadn’t even really had time to process it before he fucked it all up.

There is a special kind of ache resonating through the entirety of this piece. It's in the way both boys are hurting so keenly. It's in the way neither of them are able to find the words to mend themselves, to mend each other. It's in the beautiful, delicate golden thread of hope woven between them, a thread that has since snapped. You can feel the ache, right there between the beautifully sculpted sentences.

The story drops you right in, forcing you to find your bearings as Steve is finding his. Everything feels certain and yet uncertain at the same time. You're left to suss out what went wrong, what's happening now, why everything feels hopeless, like it's too late to fix things.

× for him. ×

WORD COUNT: 840

CHAPTERS: 1/1

words aren’t something he’s good at (especially those words; he was never taught to say them), but steve needs to hear it, so billy would learn to say it. for him.

This piece is short and sweet, but there are a lot of things that aren't explicitly said, things we see in the thoughts and actions of our sweet boys. Steve's insecurities are so grounded in everything we know about him, in things we may not actively consider. Steve's entire life, he's always occupied a position that has led, in some form or another, to emotional dissatisfaction. So who could blame him for assuming the same of Billy? And Billy's entire life, well, when your mother tells you she loves you before abandoning you, how can you put much stock in those kinds of words? This beautiful piece explores the way these two types of thinking can clash, how they affect not only the person they belong to, but the person closest to them.

TUMBLR | @saltstuck AO3 | saltstuck

× cravings ×

WORD COUNT: 1,585

CHAPTERS: 1/1

“I bet you can’t go a week without smoking,” she’d said.

“Bet you a month of rides to the arcade that you lose,” she’d said.

and Billy, like a fucking idiot, had scoffed, said, “A month of zero rides when I win or no deal.”

Yeah, real smart, Hargrove. Real smart.

Hasn’t even been a full day and he’s ready to throw in the fucking towel. Fuck this bet, fuck his pride, and fuck Maxine.

God, he wants a fucking cigarette.

This piece has a very nostalgic feel to it, like coming home after a summer away. Billy and Steve are so in-character it's like watching a deleted scene, one that we should have gotten, one that we deserve, that the boys deserved. Billy's on edge, a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, and you feel it. You feel the itch beneath his skin, the little twitches, the craving.

The shift from one craving to another is exquisite. It feels natural and right and pulls the reader right along, to exactly where they want to go, to where that fix is.

× magnets ×

WORD COUNT: 939

CHAPTERS: 1/1

Steve knew it when he struck. He knew it by the crack of laughter bursting in the echo, when his lip split bloody under Billy’s fist, when porcelain shattered on bone and tile. Bathed in Billy’s brutality, he knew.

They were the same.

The calculation and manipulation in this story is subtle, it's its own artform. You can feel it slithering through the text, guiding an unwitting Billy along. There's a fantastic play here between caring and wanting to help, wanting to fix things, and wanting to fix the right things, or perhaps they're actually the wrong things, and put things back in places maybe they didn't go before, but places they fit so well.

× strangers in the city ×

WORD COUNT: 1,734

CHAPTERS: 1/1

Billy misses his Camaro, yeah, but the perpetually exhausted pretty boy he gets to stare at every day on the bus makes up for it.

AKA Steve needs his coffee and Billy can't keep his eyes off of him.

I absolutely adore this story. I've read it a few times since it was first posted and I smile ever time I reread it. The tone of the story is very much Billy, with its matter-of-factness and spunky attitude. It has the feel of Billy telling someone the story of how he met the love of his life.

One of the things I love most about this story is how natural and real it feels. We crush on people and it usually doesn't go the way we want, even for someone like Billy Hargrove. Things can get messy or weird, and it's no different for these boys. I love getting the opportunity to watch them try to work things out when things don't go according to plan.

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#billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #stranger things #steve x billy #harringrove fic #Creator Spotlight

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boleyn-falcon · 4 years

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‘wouldn’t it be nice?’

okay so ever since i made my Joan and Jane fic (here) I've decided i wanted to make a oneshot for all the ladies and their queens! this one is a lot more happy because my heart can’t handle a sad Maggie rn like i’ll die.

this is also me just being a wannabe soccer jock because i finished my first season this school year :> of yea and if i accidentally refer to it as soccer and not football i’m sorry i’m a dumbass american

synopsis - Anne thinks today would be the perfect day to kidnap her closest friend and sports-related hijinks ensue! with maybe a slight side of bruises and concussions..

Words - 2593

Trigger warnings - none that i know of but tell me if you think i should add one!

Maggie loved the early summer. It was the perfect time of the year, not too hot nor cold. She could leave her window open to let in natural sunlight during the day, she’s always hated artificial lights, they give her headaches. It was the best time to just hone her skills and relax, she could let all of her stress just melt away. The brunette started learning a new song she heard so she could play it to the ladies and queens. “Wouldn't it be nice”, by some old american group called ‘The Beach Boys’, it was a nice feel good song the guitarist just felt amazing hearing. The old song’s lyrics remind her how good her second chance at life really was, “And wouldn't it be nice to live together,In the kind of world where we belong?”, it was perfect.

Her hands gracefully floated over the strings, eyes locked on the chords displayed on her computer screen. It felt like the world had stopped moving for a moment, like everything was calm. Well that feeling didn’t last that long. Maggie’s hands suddenly gripped the neck of the instamet as a large crash came from down stairs, ‘oh no what is it this time’. The musician laid her guitar down on her bed right as a slew of very creative and colorful curses came from what she could only presume was Bessie. With a quick trot down the stairs she was soon to find a very peeved bassist, a started pianist, a confused drummer. She made haste to the living room where they were standing to also find one very apologetic tudor queen and one rambunctious gremlin on the floor, oh and a slightly broken window.

“Gosh Bess I’m so sorry about her, we just got back from pret and i let her buy a large chocolate frappe, i'll pay for the new window..”, the blue clad queen said with a sorry smile. Maria spoke up with a curious tone, “Wait why are you guys here anyway? Atleast give a reason Miss Kermit the Hulk over here came crashing through our window?”, the green eyed woman finally stood up from her place on the floor and shuffled shyly. “Well Cathy wanted to come over and get some piano lessons from Joan and I tagged along to hopefully get some time with my favorite ferret!”, Maggie gave an amused chuckle and stepped forward. “Well okay you sugared up raccoon, what did you wanna do?”, Anne made her way to the couch and plopped down, “Well before we do anything, you need to go change into some shorts and a tank top oh and put your hair up. Cathy then grabbed one of the two drawstring bags she had been holding and handed it to Anne, who was already in some black running shorts and a neon green muscle tank. “Well me and Joan are gonna go hit the keys, you two have fun with whatever trouble Anne will get you both in”, and with that the two shorter girls made their way across the room and began to talk quietly.

The band member made her way back up to her room and began to pick out an outfit. ‘ Huh, I wonder why Anne is having me wear sports gear..the only kind of sport she watches is hockey and that's because she thinks it's funny to see them beat the shit out of each other’. She opened her closet and picked out some white athletic shorts(with pockets because all pants need them in her opinion), and a pastel cyan dri fit shirt with a black double note on the front. Lastly, she ties her hair back in her normal high ponytail she wears for shows.

Finally they were ready and made their way out of the house and onto the London streets. Anne still had her green bag, without giving a single hint to what could be inside. They made their way down into the nearest tube station on the Piccadilly Line. Maggie could now slightly narrow down the places they could be heading,but just a little. They stayed on the hot tube for a good few minutes before the hyper woman pulled her off and gave her a little time to look at where they had gotten off, Hyde Park Corner. This had just gotten even more puzzling as they made their way up to the surface. They were so close to leaving the station, till they had to scan their oyster cards. Anne had gotten through the gate easily with a quick swipe of her card. Maggie walked forward and scanned her card, but as she was walking through she felt a pressure on her waist. The Confused woman looked down to find out.. The gate had closed on her and she was stuck in between the two sides of the machine. “...Well shit… that's a problem”, the two rudor women laughed and Anne waved down a worker to let her friend out of her plastic-mechanical prison.

They finally made it out of the station, at least they already had a funny story to tell the others. They ambled their way down the stone sidewalk, smiling and laughing like school kids. “So I tell Joey about the whole pasta-wall test and she actually does it! Wait it gets better, she grabs a handful of angel hair spaghetti and chucks it at the kitchen wall! In front of Maria and Bessie! Let’s just say she wasn't allowed to be near any kind of noodle for a while”, Anne bursts out in laughter even stronger than back at the station, wiping tears from her eyes. Suddenly the green queen stopped and grabbed her friend’s hand and pulled her over to the other side of the road. “Tadah! We are gonna hang out here and try something new!”,the enthusiastic woman points to the stone arch like structure above them. “Hyde Park? What could we possibly learn here?”, Anne gives no answer as she continues to drag the poor musician into the park and off to a flat clearing.

The Boleyn girl stops right in the middle of the small grassy area and finally pulls out what has been hiding in her bag, a basic football and a small bluetooth speaker. “I thought it would be fun if we learned how to play Football! It seems easy enough and it would be fun bonding for us!”, she put the speaker down next to her bag and put the ball at her feet. Maggie was beyond confused, neither woman had ever tried sports, she knows Cleves runs and does boxing with Kathrine but that's about it. The guitarist gave a nod to the woman in front of her, she was about three meters away. Anne pulls her foot back like a bow and slams the front of her foot into the ball and sends it flying towards the other burnette. The ball hits Maggie’s right shin, she stumbles back and trips over the object at her feet and falls on her backside. “Ow shit!”, both women say loudly, Anne holding her foot and Maggie on the ground clutching her shin.

“Okay so bad idea, maybe we should..I dunno, learn how to play the damn game before we start kicking shit?”, the tudor queen gave a shy nod as she walked over and helped the injured girl to her feet. Maggie pulls out her phone from the pocket of her shorts and goes to her trusty friend, Google. “Okay Mags we should start with how to kick the damned thing without breaking all of your toes”, the guitarist gave a small chuckle and searched what Anne had suggested. After about thirty seconds of looking she finds a short Youtube video titled, ‘How to properly kick a soccer ball’, huh made by an American i guess. She clicked the video and turned her phone so both inept reincarnates could watch. The woman in the video showed her foot parallel to the ball, lightly kicking it with the inner side of her foot, unlike Anne who ‘toed’ the ball from what the woman said. The demonstrator showed how to open your hips wide to pass forward and how to angle your foot to make sure the ball goes in the right direction. After the tutorial ended Maggie turned her phone off and returned it to her pocket. “Okay Anne go back to your spot with the demon-sphere so we can try this again”.

So it was take two and they widened their stances slightly like the player in the video did, “Okay Mags remember to stop it with the side like she said so i don't break your foot! God the other Ladies would kill me..”. Anne got ready and tilted her foot outwards slightly and pulled back, she hit the ball correctly, well sort of. She used the right part of her foot but hit the very bottom of the ball and it flew upwards and towards the poor ferret-like woman in front of her, hitting her square in the face. Maggie stepped back and made a low grunt noise and held her face. “Christ Annie what did you do wrong this time? You did exactly what she said and it was still fucked up!”,Anne gave a confused look with a tilt of her head, “I dunno ‘M, maybe it was wind?”. Both gave a frustrated sigh as they sat down on a nearby bench and started to think. Before they could conjure up a coherent thought, Maggie spotted 3 teenage looking girls with matching gold and red sports uniforms with low and behold, a football. The younger girl shot up from the bench and gave her queen a confident smirk, “Anne i think i have a good but also maybe terrible idea”, she sped up to the girls and stopped them in their tracks.

“Hey sorry to bother you girls but erm… you play Football right..?”, the three girls looked at each other confusingly, “Um”, the tall brunette girl starts, “Yea we are on our school’s team..why?”. Anne catches up to Maggie right as the conversation continues, “Well I’m Maggie and my friend Anne and I want to learn how to play but we are kinda…”, Maggie trails off for Anne to finish, “Bad at it, like really bad”. The tanner girl with gloves on stepped forward with an amused look, “Well okay then, we were just about to go for a short practice so we could totally help you out!”, she put her gloved hand out for Maggie to shake, “I’m Samina, I’m the team’s goalie and these are two out of three of my defenders, Piper”, she points to the girl from brefor who gave a small wave, “And brooke”, a shorter brunette looked up and gave a small nod. “So I see you're already kinda set up here so let's get to it!”, the goalie led her girls over and gave the older pair an encouraging smile, “Show us whatcha got ladies!”. All five of the girls got in a wide spread circle with Anne’s ball at her feet. “Okay so first things first, do you know how to kick it without hurting yourself or sending it to the moon?”, Anne looked over and answered for Maggie, “Kinda, we can do it without harming our precious feet buuut it went flying and ‘bout gave Mags a broken sniffer..”. The shortest girl gave a small nod and gazed over at the pair, “Well then you hit the bottom of the ball, next time hit the middle or top, but i say middle because you might trip if you hit the top”, she said in a monotone voice. Anne decides to give it a go and turns to face Maggie, giving her a look that says, ‘be prepared because this might end horribly’. Giving her queen a quick nod she gets ready to receive the weapon of death, aka the ball. Anne pulls back and hits the ball just like she was told and it zooms towards Maggie on the ground and the brown eyed woman manages to catch it with somewhat ease. “Nice job Bo!”, she says as she rushes to give her green clad friend a high-five who gladly returns. “Now”, Piper starts, “time to learn how to dribble with the ball!”. Both girls groan in response.

After about an hour and a half of learning the simple methods of the sport the girls had to leave so it just left Maggie and Anne to figure it all out from there. Maggie spots an opportunity to turn up the fun and jogs over to Anne’s speaker and connects her phone. An upbeat guitar melody begins to play and just a few seconds later words start to emit from the speaker, “Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long?”. The musician gives a bright smile as the cheerful song plays, she now could really understand how grateful she really was for this new life. She sauntered over to the smiling Boleyn girl and they began to pass the ball around and laugh. They practiced thier passess and dribbleing, even tripping a good few times which made their smiles even brighter as they became covered in dirt,grass, and small bruises.

“Annie! Heads up!”, the ball flew past the queen’s head and into a tree behind her, getting stuck up in some branches. “Shit sorry, i'll go up and get it dont worry!”, Anne gave a worried glance, “Are you sure Maggie? We could just throw stuff at it to knock it down..”, Maggie had already started scaling the tree. It was anything but graceful, she looked like a blind cat with a missing tail,left leg, and whiskers, she couldn't balance at all. After making her way up about 5 or so branches she finally got to their beloved horri-ball. She grabbed it with her left hand, leaving her right, non-dominant hand, to be the one holding onto the flimsy branch above her, it was a recipe for disaster. “Hey Anne, I got the bAL-”, where her last words before the branch gave way and she went tumbling to the ground. Luckily or not so luckily, her dearest queen was there to break her fall. “I told you so”, is all Anne could croak out from under Maggie before she pushed her off. After that fiasco they moved a tad bit farther from the trees so they didn’t have to go home in full body casts.

After a few more hours it was starting to get dark and they thought it best for them to head back to their respective homes. They parted ways and started the trek back to their humble abodes. “See you later Mag! I'll text you later!”, and with that Anne was gone, Maggie has always wondered how she just vanishes right when you take her eyes off her. After a very cautious tube station trip and ride, she was finally home. The guitarist, happy to be home and rest, opens the door, ready to have some quiet time. Her dreams are slightly crushed as she sees a small brown blur scurry across the hall with a very distressed Maria rushing after it. The drummer stops in her tracks to make eye contact with her bandmate, “Bessie,Cathy, and Joey went out for dinner, don't say a word about this Margret”, today just got even more exhausting.

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Okay well that was an absolute acid trip-

i hope yall enjoy some cute bonding shit becuase the last one was so edgy n shit, and before any of you ask, yes the three girls on my team who are all really amazing players and friends and i love them so so much-

the next one will probably be with Maria and Lina and them dealing with Maria’s.... new little predicament haha

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neopuff · 4 years

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hello, i hope you're having a good day!! i was wondering, do you have any tips for making amvs? like, what programmes you use, how you handle the timing, etc. thank you for all the fun edits you make!!

hi!! sorry for the delay in answering this, i just wanted to take the time to answer it thoroughly and i kept forgetting lol & thank you! i already typed this once and tumblr made it disappear so i apologize if anything i say comes out short ‘cause i’m just trying to remember all that i typed before lol

ok so ill just go through my general editing process in Vegas, i dont know any other program well enough to talk about it at length:

(disclaimer: this is just how i do it, i dont watch tutorials and my editing friends and i don’t watch each other edit often so i would assume that my way is very different from other ways you’ve probably seen! i might even do something in a very stupidly hard way, please feel free to tell me if theres an easier way to do anything lol)

1. Song: So skipping past the “choosing song and ship/character/show” theme, I’ll dive straight into CUTTING THE SONG! I’m not about that Editing The Entire Song life, and neither is most of the editing community anymore, so I cut it up into a shorter thing that I’m better equipped to edit to. I’m just using a random example but here I’ve taken this long ass song and turned it into this:

(the next step just kind of depends on my mood, or ill do both, doesnt matter)

2-A. Subclips: if im making a shorter video or a video where i’m not 100% super familiar with the footage, i will immediately start making subclips using the episodes ive already pulled into the project. if it’s a ship/character that i’ve edited before, i’ll just go to Import->Media from Project and import the subclips i made previously. either way, subclips are there!

2-B. Sheets: for ships that i know very well/have a lot of footage/im concerned about potentially repeating something, i will go to Google Sheets/Excel and take the lyrics im editing to and put them in column A, separating by pauses in the singing. then i put corresponding footage i think will go well in column B! im often not super specific because i know the beats are gonna be different than i remember, so i usually stick to referencing whole scenes instead of specifics moments. here’s an example:

3. Clip placement: Then I start placing clips down! Below is how I organize my timeline tho I know a lot of editors who put the music on top, this is just how I like it. I also keep a single muted audio layer in between for the video footage’s audio and then I’ll delete that layer when I’m done (or sometimes I don’t, it doesn’t really matter)

I think it’s good to hit the beats as much as possible, it makes for a more dynamic audio-visual experience! In general I try to make my videos so that, if I didn’t add any zooms or typography or coloring, it would still be a good amv. And don’t limit yourself to just one layer, you can have as many layers as you’d like and put clips on top of each other (cookie cutter/changing the layer to dodge or add or screen or whatever) is a good way to mix things up

when I zoom in you can see I’ve got some variety already in my transitions, I know I use that motion-blur-zoom a lot these days but I still try to mix it up and keep my brain invested

4. Typography: After all the clips have been placed (or most of the clips, ofc sometimes I’ll want to add more later) I move on to typography! I’m lazy so the first thing I’ll do it just put down unedited text where I think I’ll want it to go. It just helps me organize myself. Then I’ll pretty up the text afterwards.

Typography isn’t necessary for a good AMV, but really nice typography can really spruce things up. I’ve only very recently gotten confident in my text editing skills, and I just kept watching typography done by editors I really like until I figured out what they were doing. My recommendation is to just KEEP ADDING EFFECTS! Convolution kernel, gaussian blur, mask the text so it appears from angles that the transitions wouldn’t be able to do - of course there’s gotta be a limit for taste, but just add stuff until you like how it looks. Also changing the blending style of the text layer is good, dodge and difference are my go-tos for typography layers.

5. Transitions: I don’t go crazy with transitions, but it’s fun to mess around with them. You don’t want too many crazy/different transitions, you want them to match the mood of the song and the type of beat you’re hitting. I usually ensure that all similar beats in the song have the same transition type on them, bbbbbbut that’s cuz I’m overly obsessed with parallel structure. There’s plenty of fantastic AMVs where they just go ham and do whatever types of transitions they want to in each part of the song and they make it work just fine

(next step, once again, kind of depends on my mood lol)

6-A. Zooms: Time for zooms! I usually just use the pan/crop for zooming, but often I’ll incorporate Sapphire FX BlurMoCurves or NewBlue AutoPan, especially if I’m trying to zoom typography with the footage at the same rate. I try to keep my zooms short and slower, I mean obv it just depends on the song but yeah. There’s a lot of different ways to do zooms so I recommend experimenting and just playing around with different effects

6-B. Zooms...but different: Another way that I’ll do zooms which is definitely pretty different (but this is what I do for crossovers like 95% of the time because I am laaaaaaaaaaazy) is I’ll drag the project into a new project timeline and start editing it there. It’s similar to how After Effects works and it makes it easier to put effects overtop of multiple layers without having to pre-render anything.

So you can see I’ve just pulled in the .VEG file and popped it in the timeline! So this way I can add zooms and transitions without worrying about layers. And if I see a mistake I need to fix, I can just go back into the original .VEG file and edit it, and it’ll be edited when I come back here. So it’s much easier than pre-rendering or trying to do zooms on a lot of layers. To be clear tho, this doesn’t work well if you have a lot of fade transitions, it’s best for sharp transitions and it’s great when you’re using Sapphire FX BlurMoCurves a lot.

7. Overlays: After that I’ll add more typography (or if you didn’t add any earlier, you can add some here overtop of the new project file) that kind of goes on top of everything. And then I’ll add any overlays or objects or whatever else I wanna add! I’m not someone who uses a lot of backgrounds cuz I don’t have a background-creative-brain so I stick to simple overlays at the most.

8. Coloring!!! This is very sad but I only JUST learned a few weeks ago that you can add coloring/effects to your entire video with this button here, so in case anyone else hates watching tutorials as much as I do here’s where I’m talking about:

This shit would’ve made my life so much easier throughout the years lol But alas. Anyway so for coloring there are some effects that are popular for any colorings you’ll find on YT (but you can certainly just download some, Riverdale editors in particular share a lot of really great colorings but you’ll find them anywhere in the live action editing community):

Channel Blend, Color Curves, Color Blend, Color Balance, Convolution Kernel (best for live action footage or footage that isnt very crisp), Color Corrector Secondary

These are all just fun to mess with. Channel Blend in particular is something of a mystery for me, I haven’t studied it fully to understand what I’m doing so I mostly just mess with it randomly until I like what I see lol

9. Render time! First render, anyway. Usually there’ll be some random problem in the footage or something and I’ll have to either go back into the project and fix it OR if I’m feeling particularly sour (or maybe if I’ve rendered like 3-4 times already) I will just take the finished render and manually remove any errors, stretching out the good footage to cover my tracks. You’d be surprised how often I end up doing that lol

And then it’s good to post! I primarily render as .WMV but I also go for .MP4s every once in a while. If I want to upload it to Twitter I’ll do an .MP4 but it’s a new thing for me so I’m still stuck on .WMV mostly.

Anyway I hope this answered your question at least a little bit, I can go into more detail about certain parts of this if you’d like!

#anon asks #carro answers #sony vegas #magix vegas #editing #long post

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darkestwolfx · 4 years

Text

Extraction - Re-Review #19

So today’s episode is about a giant piece of machinery! Sort of anyway, it’s more about the people who get trapped, but then we all know IR don’t rescue the expensive things which have been designed with flaws!

So we start of with the US military testing out their new Sidewinder-

Oh, sorry! Wrong episode!

But seriously, are ‘Pit of Peril’ (TOS) vibes going on here for anyone other than myself?

No, today’s story is about a young boy whose an International Rescue enthusiast and lives in North Australia at the Dunsley Tracking station-

No... also the wrong episode. There were two little boys in that one. This episode definitely only has one, but he is still an IR fan (and a smarter one than Bob and Tony - sorry boys)! Really though, this is set in Dunsley Fields... Now I’m getting ‘Cry Wolf’ (TOS) vibes. Is anyone else getting this nostalgic recollection, or is it just me seeing the endless parallels?

And for you information, you can visit the real Dunsley - in Cheddar, SW England.

Anyone else see similarities in Aidan and Tom whilst we’re on the subject? They both have model Thunderbird Three’s too. And caps. And the same hoody just in different colours...

Okay, let’s stick with TAG for now and run with this episode!

We are in Dunsley Fields, with Aidan and his Dad, Robert Williams, the warden. They’re playing ‘International Rescue’ when they come across a dangerous platform which has been mining hydro-methane and severely weakened the ground-

And, I’m sorry, I was going to try and get through this review with the focus on TAG still, but Williams?! And technically they get stuck in a collapse, which was the same type of rescue as Bob and Tony too....

No, really going to stick with TAG now. Promise.

I love a good shot of Thunderbird Five!

“Ok, it’s a little weird.”

I agree with Gordon, it’s very weird - I mean, here we go again on the similarities!

Not to mention the fact that originally IR weren’t going to respond, because it just seemed like machinery had been caught in the incident... yeah, I’m just going to move swiftly on.

“That wasn’t an earthquake we detected. It was a cave in.”

This boy is braver than I think I would have been. He’s very smart and a practical thinker too.

“The area’s full of flooded caverns. If you can find a way in, the most direct route would be to go underwater.”

Yeah.. finding the way in was the easy part right? Navigating the caverns... not so much.

“Ok... if this is the most direct way in, then that control section must be on the other side of the world.”

Didn’t ‘Alice in Wonderland’ have something to say about cavernous tunnels connecting us to the other side of the world? Don’t fall through Gordon!

I still love that Gordon called Virgil, “Virge”.

“An underwater rescue? So you’re in Thunderbird Four!”

“To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?”

He only said that because the kid knew his Thunderbird! Gordon loves to be the favourite, especially with the fans.

“Gordo”... I like that too.

“I need you to stay calm. That’s the first rule of any emergency.”

“He’s my Dad, you know.”

“Yeah, I really do.”

I think we can understand now why the boys name drop so much in the next few episodes/series;

“We even found a picture of Thunderbird Three on the net.”

Haha, I can imagine Gordon’s face, no wonder they didn’t show it up close!

“So much for keeping that one secret.”

“Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because nobody but me can do it. That’s the beauty of flying the big bird.”

Yeah, I think Virgil’s deserved some bragging rights for that one.

I love seeing MAX back to cleaning. He cleaned Jeff’s desk too!

“I may have a little problem with my brilliant plan.”

When do you not encounter problems, Virgil? Literally it’s their job. If any of them ever want to retire, I’m sure someone will snap them up for their problem solving abilities.

“You were right about the hydro-methane. It’s everywhere.”

“Try not to ignite it. If it blows up it will be like-”

“It will be like the 4th July?”

“More like... Doomsday.”

Good on you for trying to be hopeful though, Gordon.

I’ve had a couple conversations with fellow fanfiction authors about being cruel to Gordon... Yeah, this was a cruel to Gordon moment. I mean, either they’re trying to kill him or break his back, or maybe a bit of both.

Or maybe this is a common occurrence, more so than we see. I mean, ‘Crosscut’ flashbacks?

“Perfect timing... Maybe not so perfect.”

Can someone, anyone, please, please, please teach this lot to stop speaking famous last words!

But, Virgil got them in time, so we’ll let this one slide I suppose.

“Johnny, did you just bust a crime ring from orbit?”

Yes Gordon, yes he did. Talented family right, folks? But ur... Johnny? Where did all these nicknames come from? I don’t mind, it’s quite entertaining, but I’m just curious.

“You never want something bad to happen to your Dad.”

“No.”

“You sure don’t.”

A nice happy ending! I really loved all the father-son references in this and I think it was a really nice semi-uplifting way to follow ‘Recharge’, but to still bring this message home about parental relationships. Remember to value your parents everyone! They’re the sort of people we do often end up idolising, or thinking will always be there, when really we never know.

Lastly;

“F-A-B.”

“FAB. What does that mean?”

Join the club mate!

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taexual · 5 years

Text

HOLIC - 25 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: some domestic life with jaebum (and this is surprisingly long)

words: 7.2k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

prev / next

Your alarm clock had rung like it did every morning but, for some weird reason, this time, the sound was coming from the wrong direction – even your sleepy mind could fathom that. It took a lot of groaning and a lot of sporadic shuffling for you to realize that your phone was at the far edge of the bed, wrapped tightly in the blanket that you must have thrown off of yourself at night because you were too warm.

As you reached for it to turn it off, you ended up stumbling over someone’s leg and yelping in surprise before the events of last night returned to your mind within the next few moments. At first, all you could remember was that you’d fallen asleep very late. So late, in fact, that once the clock on your phone passed midnight, you started to fear to check the time because you knew you’d have to be up early tomorrow. Somehow, you just couldn’t bring yourself to get up and leave Jaebum’s room.

And, judging by the fact that you were sitting – dizzy and a little hazy – on his bed, apparently, you hadn’t bothered to leave at all in the end. Jaebum was laying on the other side of the bed, his eyelashes fluttering every now and then, his fingers tapping lightly against the pillow next to his face – he was awake. Undoubtedly so, because a second later, he opened his eyes.

For a good minute, the two of you just watched each other, your minds completely blank. You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to say – if anything – but you knew that no matter what he chose to say next, the fact still remained: you’d fallen asleep in his bed last night. Again.

“Uhh…” you were the one who opened your mouth first in the end. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was in here for so long, I fell asleep—”

Jaebum chuckled, the surprising sound cutting you off. He had closed his eyes again – you didn’t blame him, six in the morning was far too early to have your eyes opened – but the smirk on his lips remained.

“You just can’t leave my bed,” he said, his groggy morning voice laced with teasing, “even if I built yours.”

Suddenly glad that he wasn’t looking at you, you smiled and shook your head. It was too early to come up with a good comeback and, truth be told, you probably wouldn’t have had what to reply with either way. It was just refreshing to hear how completely unfazed by this he seemed to be.

Still grinning to yourself – and, consequently, not realizing that Jaebum had opened his eyes as soon as he heard you shuffle on the bed again – you gathered yourself to your feet and quietly tip-toed out of the room. Despite wanting to stay here longer – not even touching him, but sharing the space of his bed with him – you also had to get ready for work and no matter how appealing calling in sick sounded, you hadn’t done that when you felt unprepared to deal with Jiho, so that meant you weren’t going to do that now, either.

All was well in your apartment. You didn’t want to take it for granted or, worse, ruin it by overstaying your welcome in Jaebum’s room.

After a brisk shower and a quick breakfast, you located your purse and your car keys and prepared to head out, stopping for a moment outside of Jaebum’s bedroom. His door was open and you could see him sleeping in the exact same position that you’d left him in. He had the whole bed to himself now and he was still sleeping on the left side as if he’d left the right side vacant on purpose. As if he was waiting for you to sneak back in.

Inhaling sharply to hopefully ease the sudden surge of violent butterflies inside of your stomach, you turned around and, still smiling, exited your apartment.

Your slightly wet hair flowing in the cold wind outside didn’t worry you as much as it probably should have because the irresistible urge to chuckle every time you recalled bits of conversation that you’ve had with Jaebum last night was keeping you warm. You were sure that as long as you kept thinking about last night and hoping for many more nights like this in the future, you were going to survive the coldest winters with minimal heating needed.

At this point, there was no denying it: you had feelings for Jaebum. Strong ones, too. Frustrating, as well, because you weren’t sure what you were supposed to do with yourself. And confusing, on top of everything, because you didn’t know what Jaebum was feeling – you could have guessed but guessing meant raising your hopes.

Funnily enough, it’s been days since you and Jaebum had the fight that had opened your eyes – and your hearts, too – and you still haven’t properly discussed what either of you has said. On the one hand, that was good – now you knew you might have exhibited some Suji-like traits and you could work on that. There was no point talking about it when you and him seemed to be getting along much better now. But, on the other hand, you knew that he’d said many things that required explanations – you just weren’t sure how you were going to continue to live if the explanations you received didn’t live up to the expectations you’d grown to have.

You focused on actually doing your job today and it seemed to work this time – you didn’t get distracted – until, during your lunch break – which you deliberately took after two o’clock – you decided to listen to Jaebum’s radio show in hopes that he’d dare to finally play his own song but, of course, that didn’t happen.

Honestly, Jaebum would have probably texted you if he decided to play his song on air – or, at least, you hoped he would – but it wouldn’t have been surprising if he just played it without warning anyone, knowing how bashful he got whenever he had to speak about his music. It was admirable in an almost annoying way because, honestly, there was nothing he should have been embarrassed about. Unless it was about his immense talent, anyway.

You didn’t hear Jaebum’s song today but you did get to listen to his voice as he talked to his listeners and, somehow, that seemed to lift your mood even more. That was why, when Hyojin texted you to get some coffee after work – you and her used to host “productive” coffee sessions when you were both in college, where you’d get together to edit pictures (in your case) or toy around on Polyvore (in Hyojin’s) – you agreed without hesitation.

Although, normally, you felt like going home and not seeing anyone after you finished work, right now you were feeling just upbeat enough to interact with others. You were in the kind of mood where you wanted to go out and conquer the world but, at the same time, you wouldn’t have felt bad about not achieving much today because you knew that, at the end of the day, when you’d return home, Jaebum would be there.

Back in the day – a week ago, really – you used to dread going home because you knew you’d get into an argument with your roommate, but now, just the thought of getting to see him later tonight kept your spirits soaring the whole day. It was a nice change; you welcomed it with open arms.

Hyojin noticed your great mood almost immediately after you walked through the door of the café and saw her waving at your from the table at the back.

“You are glowing,” she declared, a smirk on her lips. “Dare I guess the reason why you’re looking so wonderful today?”

“No need, I can tell you myself,” you replied, giving her a quick hug hello and then sitting opposite her by the table. “I got a good night's sleep, tried a new—delicious—brand of cereal that I’d gotten on sale last week and ended up being pleasantly surprised by the taste, and there were no screaming crowds of children on tour at the gallery today. It’s been a… a decent day.”

“Hmm,” Hyojin was still smirking. “And that’s it?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah.”

“How’s the roommate?”

Of course she wasn’t going to let you play around and pretend Jaebum didn’t have any influence on your—almost uncharacteristically—good mood. You sighed, giving in.

“He’s great,” you replied, watching Hyojin’s smile spread. “We talked a lot last night. It was nice. Didn’t even feel real, to be honest.”

“How come?” she asked.

“I don’t know, we’ve only talked to each other – and I don’t mean those shallow conversations about who’s doing the grocery shopping; oh, speaking of, I have to get that done later. Remind me, will you? – after we’ve had some pretty big fights,” you replied, trying not to get too side-tracked. “So, this felt like slipping into some sort of a parallel universe where Jaebum and I were the kind of people who got together after work to talk about their day and eat pizza.”

“That doesn’t seem too far-fetched in this universe, either,” Hyojin replied. “You and him have hung out in the past, haven’t you?”

“Well, yeah, but that was only because we’ve—”

“No, no,” she cut you off, “the ‘because’ doesn’t matter. The fact matters and the fact is, you and him have enjoyed spending time with each other long before you began to do it purposefully. I can’t stand the sight of Jacob after we fight,” she continued, mentioning her boyfriend and grimacing at the memory of their latest argument. “We both need a lot of time to cool off and get back to our previous activities – and even then, we’re still wary of each other – so, in this case, you and Jaebum might be more mature than us when it comes to resolving your arguments.”

“Yeah, well, you know,” you said, “we’ve had a lot of practice.”

Hyojin laughed. “Maybe. But still.”

You didn’t reply – too busy getting your laptop out of your bag so you could actually start being productive – and Hyojin hesitated before continuing because she was afraid the question that she’d been itching to ask was going to provoke a negative reaction out of you. A moment later, she finally dared to clear her throat.

“You know… Kiera only briefed May and me on the fight that you’ve had with Jaebum,” she said slowly, gauging your reaction. Your face remained stoic. “And we’d assumed you had made up because you’re still living there and everything, and I was just curious… you don’t have to tell me how you resolved all of that if you don’t want to, though.”

“It’s, uh…” you looked around the café as if someone overhearing what you’d say next was a matter of national security. “It’s not really resolved. We just moved past it like we usually do. We both apologized this time, though, which, I think, is an improvement.”

“An improvement,” Hyojin repeated. “And towards what? What’s the end goal here?”

“Growth into adults, I’m hoping,” you said. “Adults who can live in each other’s space without it being a problem. Without fighting. Uh, without frequent fighting.”

Your friend smiled watching the nonchalant way you toyed with the napkin you’d picked up from the table. Hyojin was only giving you the benefit of the doubt because she wanted to hear you out – truth be told, she already knew all the answers to her questions.

“And that’s it?” she asked then, adamant to get you to admit your true intentions – even though she’d already seen right through you. “Because, you know, an improvement of friendship usually means—”

“There wasn’t a friendship,” you cut her off, putting the napkin down and sighing. “I—I know what you want to hear but I’m serious. There was nothing. Jaebum and I—we thought we kind of bonded through texts but we knew virtually nothing about each other when we moved in. I mean, wow, I didn’t even know he was a guy. What kind of friendship could we even talk about?”

“Well, people are not friends with a gender. They’re friends with a person.”

“No, of course,” you nodded, “I just mean—it’s an important part of his life and I knew nothing about it. Or his name, for example, which I also did not know and did not bother to ask. Honestly, when I look back at it, I’m kind of surprised you even let me go through with this. I could have moved in with a serial killer.”

“We did tell you that, though! But you—,” Hyojin said, reaching out to put her hand over yours, “—you were so convinced you were moving in with your new best friend, we didn’t even dare to intervene too much. Kiera was actually kind of jealous but she was willing to see how this played out.”

Out of your group of friends, you and Kiera were the closest – that wasn’t a secret to anyone – and yet you had no idea you were making her jealous by boasting about how excited you were to move in with your roommate. You’d known Kiera for so long, nothing was ever going to replace your bond with her, but you still felt awful for not realizing what she might have been feeling.

“If only Kiera knew that she had nothing to worry about,” Hyojin added, “because you didn’t end up moving in with your best friend. You might have moved in with your soulm—”

“Okay, no,” you cut her off mid-word, almost afraid that she’d jinx everything if she finished her sentence. “L-let’s not go there. What I was saying is that, I thought my future roommate and I had become friends – and we have, honestly – but then all of that flipped upside down when I found out that my roommate is actually the same guy I’d slept with the night before moving.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Hyojin released your hand because the waitress had approached your table, bringing you both the coffees that your friend had ordered before you got here. “I keep forgetting that part. Honestly, in my opinion, that just proves that you and him were meant to be. If you hadn’t met him that night at the bar, you would have still met him after you moved in. And if you hadn’t decided to blindly move in with someone, you’d have still slept with him. You see what I’m saying? You two are destined.”

Your face was suddenly warm and you tried to hide your clearly flustered state by taking a sip of your coffee.

“We’re trying to be friends,” you said after – the drink was too bitter, you couldn’t hide your traitor smile behind a cup until you put enough sugar inside of it, “all over again. It’s surprisingly difficult in real life.”

“I’m not one of the people who believe that boys and girls can’t be just platonic friends,” Hyojin said. “But I genuinely don’t think it should be this hard to be friends with someone. Maybe there was always something else there. From the first moment you saw each other.”

“Yeah. Anger.”

“No, not that,” she disagreed. “I mean, obviously, you’re both attracted to each other – otherwise you wouldn’t have slept together – but, maybe, after you both had enough time to realize how much stuff the two of you had in common, this little spark just… lit up. And, knowing how stubborn you are about certain things, I can assume that Jaebum is the same way, which means that this spark ignited a different kind of fire than it would for most people and this fire burned inside of you both. You argued instead of acting on your real feelings.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, permanently confused why Hyojin studied Fashion instead of choosing Psychology. You tried your coffee again and then continued, “alright. So be it. We’re working on putting that fire out now.”

“The spark will still be there, though. Maybe that spark was exactly the reason why you fought so much – you were so angry about not knowing what to do with it,” Hyojin hypothesized, smirking now. “Hopefully, this time, the fire will light up at the right moment and in the right way. And, hopefully, this time, you’ll know how to deal with it.”

You shook your head, trying to control the stupid grin that was threatening to spread across your face. Hyojin could read through your emotions, however – and not just because they were all clear in your eyes – and she had to admit, seeing you like this made her happy. Perhaps all of this fighting was worth it in the end – it meant that you and Jaebum had finally learned how much you meant to each other, platonically or not.

After you and Hyojin finally finished chit-chatting – and your first cups of coffee – you finally got your laptop out and actually began to work. At first, you didn’t feel comfortable enough to edit the pictures you took at Jackson’s studio while you were in such a public space – somehow, you felt like you could only look at the shots of Jaebum in a very private environment, and the back of a café didn’t cut it – but, eventually, after clearing your throat a hundred times in an attempt to fight your own awkwardness off, you dared to open the photographs on Photoshop.

Normally, you’d look at a picture and immediately know what you had to do – whether it’s lowering the saturation or adjusting the general coloring – but as soon as you saw the first picture that showed a part of Jaebum – the left side of him, to be exact, since that’s the hand he used to write something down on a notebook in his lap when you started to photograph – you were suddenly breathless and at a complete loss of direction.

The picture didn’t need editing. You couldn’t come up with a single thing to do to make it better. Jaebum looked natural, he made the background blur just by being in the shot, and, most importantly, he looked beautiful. For the first time in your life, you stared at a picture in disbelief – trying to decide if you loved every single thing about it because Jaebum was in it, or because you’d actually, finally taken a picture that was genuinely flawless in your eyes.

Suddenly, as you went through the other pictures, following Jaebum’s movements, you understood why Jiho chose to photograph people. It wasn’t just the dynamics that captured the eye – buildings that you loved to photograph so much never made your heart skip a beat when they accidentally glanced at the camera – it was the emotion behind it. You didn’t have to edit the pictures not just because you found every part of Jaebum too beautiful to alter, but also because he was the emotion inside of the picture that you’d looked for.

You’ve photographed the nature for years. The city skylines at night. The forests in winter. The grass after rain. And, all this time, you spent hours editing those pictures until they started to speak to you. Until they showed the emotion you’d been trying to capture.

And Jaebum did all of that – and more; God, he made you feel the emotions that you didn’t even realize were there when you looked at the pictures – by simply allowing you to photograph parts of him while he did what he loved to do the most – worked on his music. You had a feeling the end result would have been similar if you’d photographed other people too because, maybe, the reason why you were so overwhelmed with the lack of editing needed, was because you just weren’t used to photographing actual people. But, at the same time, there was something special about Jaebum specifically; there was something inside of those pictures that was exclusive to him only. You couldn’t name what it was, though.

“Are you actually doing something,” Hyojin said, interrupting your thoughts, “or just staring at your laptop screen? Because I’m almost done editing and I haven’t heard you click your mouse for the past thirty minutes.”

“Yeah, uh—” you cleared your throat again, closing the fifteenth picture of Jaebum that you had opened. “I’m working. There’s not much—not a lot of stuff for me to do. I’m kind of here to keep you company, at this point.”

“Oh. Well, that’s very nice of you,” she said, a hint of teasing in her voice. “Refill?”

You glanced at her over your laptop, noticing her empty cup of coffee.

“Actually—”

Your phone buzzed loudly against the glass table, startling you and cutting you off. You’d expected it to be a text but as you moved your laptop to a side to pick your phone up, it buzzed again, indicating a phone call.

Jaebum’s name greeted you on your screen.

“Sorry,” you said to Hyojin quickly. “It’s Jaebum.”

She just smiled widely in response and nodded her head, allowing you to take the call. You didn’t know why your hands started to shake when you saw the caller’s ID, but you barely managed to press “answer.”

“Yeah?” you spoke, trying to keep your voice neutral. Excitement; that was the reason for your hands seemingly starting to vibrate just like your phone had.

“Hey,” Jaebum greeted you, his voice affecting you the same way it always did – thank God you were sitting down. “Where are you?”

“At a café with Hyojin, we’ve been trying to get some work done,” you replied, glancing at your friend when you mentioned her name. “What’s up?”

“Oh, am I disturbing?” he asked and you almost considered pinching yourself to make sure this was really happening: you were on the phone with your roommate, having a civilized conversation after he’d clearly called you about something important but was willing to put it off because you might have been busy.

“No, not really,” you replied slowly. “I was—I wasn’t doing much, anyway. Procrastinating, I guess.”

By staring at pictures of you, you wanted to add but resisted.

“Okay,” he said and then stayed quiet for the next few moments, “I just got home a little while ago. I got the groceries, so don’t worry about that. Or about starving.”

You smiled despite yourself. “I was supposed to do that.”

“It’s okay. There’s, uh, something else you could help me do instead,” Jaebum said.

You were surprised—but intrigued, obviously—to hear this. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, uh, since we’re such mature household heads,” he said, “I’m going to need you to help me out with the laundry.”

If you weren’t so taken aback by this request, you would have laughed. Everything already seemed bizarre enough – since you still weren’t used to the fact that, apparently, you and Jaebum now called each other – and now you were genuinely planning to help your roommate do the laundry.

“We, um—the—I haven’t—alright. Yeah,” you stumbled around before finally deciding to just agree. You weren’t sure why you were fishing for an excuse anyway. “Right now?”

“Ideally, yeah,” Jaebum replied, his voice almost sheepish. You swore your heart was racing even before you noticed the needy undertones in his words. “But I don’t want you to bail on your friend because of me, so—”

“No, no,” you cut him off, feeling Hyojin’s eyes on you. She wasn’t even trying to hold back her teasing smile. “She won’t mind, I’m sure.”

“Great, then.”

“I should be home in ten minutes,” you said and then, after glancing out of the window, changed your mind, “fifteen maybe. It’s raining.”

“Alright,” Jaebum replied. “I’ll wait for you.”

Almost shivering, you hummed in response and then hung up the call, taking an extra moment to get yourself together before you dared to look up at Hyojin again. She enjoyed every single emotion that passed on your face.

“So, uh—”

“You have to run?” your friend guessed, thoroughly entertained by how easy it was for her to get you flustered. “A roommate emergency?”

“Actually, yes,” you replied. “He, um, asked for my assistance with the laundry.”

Hyojin raised her eyebrows before repeating it with a shit-eating grin, “the laundry.”

“Mmhm,” you nodded, closing your laptop. “Not sure how that’s going to go, either. Hopefully, we won’t end up drowning each other since we’ve never really done anything as domestic—I guess—as that before. Is it alright if I go?”

“Of course!” Hyojin said. “Go ahead. I’ll get another refill and then I’ll be off, too.”

“Really? I’m—”

“Oh, don’t you dare apologize.”

“Well, you’re smirking like you’re not being fully honest with me—”

She laughed. “Perceptive! Alright, I just didn’t know you and Jaebum were that far ahead in your friendship.”

You frowned and stopped packing your things to give her a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“Well, for one, he just called you instead of texting,” Hyojin explained. “And what’s more, he’s literally asking you to come home to help with laundry. Are you sure you’re not working on your life as an old, married couple instead?”

“Ha ha,” you replied dryly and swung your handbag over your shoulder. “I’m heading out and I feel less bad about leaving you here now because you will never stop teasing me.”

“That’s right, it is my duty as your friend and I’m set on serving it for as long as I live,” she replied, responding to your quick hug and then laughing after she heard you groan. “Bye. Have fun doing… laundry.”

“Bye, Hyojin.”

You realized you had to get used to being civil with Jaebum – well as civil as it was possible to get when he groaned, “finally” and then followed up with, “thank you for not changing your mind on me” right after you returned home – instead of getting surprised by every decent thing he said and did. He was a person and his previous determination to make your life hell had just been one of his charms; it wasn’t a part of his actual personality.

But, as you headed to the bathroom and watched him eye the washing machine suspiciously – how was it that, in over a month of living here, Jaebum hadn’t used it once? – you realized that you and him were about to reach a new level of bonding.

“I have plenty of clothes to last me over a month,” he explained, “and, back in my old apartment, there was a laundromat on the first floor with overly specific instructions on how to do everything. I mean, they even listed tips on how to get your clothes out of the machine properly.”

“Huh,” you mumbled, wondering what kind of apartment he’d lived in before. “I didn’t realize there was a wrong way to get clothes out of a washing machine.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised what the society expects from you.”

“Right. Well, we’ll do it my way,” you warned him. “And doing it my way means stuffing your clothes in the machine, putting the detergent and the fabric softener in there, and hoping for the best.”

Jaebum smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “That sounds better than buying new clothes every day.”

You snickered, turning around and heading for your own bedroom. You still didn’t own a closet and your clothes were very much still in many different boxes – one of which was now dedicated to the clothes you had to wash – but, somehow, you’ve gotten used to it and only when you and Jaebum stopped outside of your bedroom, eyeing the various t-shirts that were laying on your floor, did you realize that perhaps living out of boxes wasn’t entirely perfect.

“Alright,” you said, ignoring your messy floor. “Let me gather my stuff that needs washing and then we can separate our clothes by color, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Jaebum nodded and then, after you entered your room, you heard him chuckle. “It’s an achievement of sorts, isn’t it?”

“What is?” you asked, shooting him a quick, confused look.

“This,” Jaebum gestured at you and then waved his hand in the direction of the bathroom. “Us doing laundry together.”

You smiled – your face was suddenly very warm – and looked away from him. “Yeah. It’s nice to know that, at least, if we get into an argument about which fabric softener to use, it probably won’t be so bad that one of us will decide to move out.”

“Oh, don’t be so quick,” he warned, “I’m very particular about the way my clothes feel against my skin.”

“So, do you have a preferred brand?”

“No, I just use whatever and hope for the best,” he replied, smirking. “Kind of like you.”

“Okay. It’s great that you’re trusting me to teach you how to do this,” you told him, leaning down to pick up your clothes from a box nearby, “but now I’m starting to feel like we’re in a bit of a “blind leading the blind” situation.”

“Oh, come on,” Jaebum waved his hand dismissively. “You’ve done this before all by yourself without any instructions and overprotective girlfriends breathing down your neck. I trust you.”

You swallowed heavily at the sudden mention of Suji, pausing in hopes of finding what to say so you wouldn’t make this awkward and, consequently, making it awkward by not responding.

“She, uh… Did she never actually teach you how to do it yourself?” you asked slowly.

You weren’t expecting him to reply but he took a breath and then shook his head.

“No. She wasn’t in it to teach me,” he said. “She was in it to do it for me.”

“Right,” you said, feeling on edge whenever you had to talk about Suji – although you knew that you should have probably gotten used to it. She’d been a part of Jaebum’s life, conversations about her were almost inevitable. It was just so much easier to pretend she never existed. “Well, today is the day you learn. We’ll have to do laundry twice if you have a lot of clothes that aren’t black, since most of mine are and—”

“No, no, almost all of mine is black as well,” Jaebum replied, bringing out a basket – that you weren’t aware you owned – full of his clothes from where he’d left it in the hallway outside of his bedroom. “Do you think we can do it all in one go?”

“Yeah if you don’t mind washing your clothes with mine.”

He scoffed. “I think we’re close enough to wash our clothes together.”

You tried to hide your smile. “You think so? Sharing detergent is a big commitment.”

“I think we’re ready.”

Laughing – and then turning away from him as soon as you saw his smile widen in response – you brought your clothes over to the kitchen counter to double-check the tags and then instructed Jaebum to check if any of the clothes he needed washing actually needed dry-cleaning. You didn’t want the first time you did laundry with him to turn into a disaster after you’d accidentally ruin his favorite sweater or something.

Preparing to do laundry took a while and doing it took even longer – who could have thought Jaebum would find it so crucial to differentiate cotton from synthetic material vaguely resembling cotton – and, by the time you’d finally started the washing machine, it was already dark outside and both of you found yourselves eating the first things you saw in the kitchen for dinner as you waited for the machine to do its’ job.

“Sorry if I made you starve,” Jaebum mumbled, finishing his sandwich. “You should have gotten some food before we—”

“No, it’s fine. I wasn’t hungry when I got home,” you replied, giving him a reassuring smile. It was heartwarming to hear the concern in his voice but you had almost completely forgotten about any kind of food as soon as he called you, asking for your help even if it was help with something as minimal as laundry. The effect he had on you really shocked you sometimes. “The croissant I had for lunch was surprisingly filling.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t eat croissants for lunch.”

“There’s not much else I can eat,” you shrugged your shoulders. “The gallery might be as modern as it gets, but it doesn’t offer any restaurant services yet.”

“You could pre-cook some food and bring it with you,” he said. “I do that when I know I won’t have time to go out for lunch. I-I could do that for you as well if you’d like.”

“You’d do that?” you asked quietly, your eyebrows rising.

“Sure, it’s not hard,” he replied, obviously trying to play it off. “I mean, I’d be cooking for myself anyway.”

“Thank you,” you said, watching him but only because his eyes weren’t on you. It was a weirdly intimate moment that neither of you was ready for and you could feel the electricity buzzing between you. Eye contact would have turned that electricity into fire in a heartbeat.

“No problem,” he said, his tone as light as always but you saw the shaky way he exhaled when he stood up to put his plate in the sink. “Oh, Jackson called today, by the way. He was asking about you.”

You perked up. “He was?”

“Yeah, he’s wondering about those pictures,” Jaebum explained, turning around to face you and leaning against the kitchen counter with his hips, his palms flat against the granite countertop on either side of him. “I told him to give you some time but he’s of the impatient kind, so don’t be surprised if he finds a way to get your phone number and calls you.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, bringing a napkin over your lips after you finished eating. This move also helped you cover up a smile that had appeared on your face when you remembered the pictures you’d taken. “I was actually working on the shots I took today.”

“Really? How are they?”

“They’re…” you started, hesitating momentarily, “they’re good. I’ll show them to you. But maybe not right now. I still need to, uh, get used to the pictures myself.”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Jaebum nodded.

If anyone was going to understand your hesitation to show your art to others – it was going to be him because he was exactly the same way. Only, in your case, you needed more time to prepare to show him the pictures you’ve taken because you were afraid that your feelings for him would shine through every picture.

“Don’t let Jackson pressure you,” Jaebum added. “He’s excited – this was two of his worlds, photography and music, colliding – but he can wait until you’re ready.”

You nodded, still smiling, and looked down, thinking about your next words.

“He’s a good friend,” you finally said, talking slowly. “And he seems like a good person in general. He… doesn’t strike me as someone who’d lie just for the sake of maintaining a good relationship with someone.”

“He’s great,” Jaebum said, frowning lightly because he could not understand where you were going with this.

“Then why – if you don’t mind me asking – don’t you believe him when he says that your music is good?” you finished the question, noticing the way Jaebum’s eyes drifted away from yours as soon as the last word left your lips. “I mean, I’d get it if you wouldn’t believe me. I don’t have a musical background and I don’t know you that well but—”

“I believe you.”

“—he just—” you stopped suddenly. “Y-you do?”

Jaebum nodded. He took a deep breath and sat back down in his previous spot in front of you before continuing.

“I believe you and Jackson both,” he said. “At this point, it’s not that I think my music is bad. I think it could use some improvement but I’d like to believe that I’ll get there. I’ll reach a point where I’ll like everything -- or, at the very least, almost everything -- about the way it sounds. It’s just that I don’t know what to do with my music on top of everything. Playing it at my radio station – if we ignore how unfair that’d be for the other amateur singers – should be a step towards recognition, right? But what if it won’t be? What if I play it, and that’s where it ends? My career in music does not advance and this also brings an end to my inspiration. What if I won’t want to work on my music anymore because my first song will… flop?”

Hearing his concerns about this made your heart beat faster and your hands itch to touch him as reassuring words about how everything was going to be okay almost spilled from your lips.

“But what if it won’t flop?” you tried, your voice small as if you were afraid to say the wrong thing and have him close off again. There was a tiny gap in the protective wall inside of his chest leading right into his heart and you’d have done anything to keep it open. “What if you play it and that doesn’t become an end – it becomes a beginning?”

Jaebum considered this, nodding his head. Your approach was obviously a lot more optimistic than his and, once again, he found himself appreciating that you and him found ways to complete each other whenever you had different opinions about something. Jaebum was set on believing that he was going to fail – but he had you, right across from the kitchen counter, to tell him that not everything that seemed like an end was actually an end.

“I see people who want to become singers fade into the background,” he confessed and you lost yourself in the feelings that poured out of his chest through his words. “They send me countless songs. And then I play one of their songs on the radio. They send me a thank-you note. And then I don’t hear from them again. Anywhere. It doesn’t work out. Getting your song played on the radio does not guarantee you a career.”

“But is it a career that you want?” you asked. “Or is it being heard? Is it sharing your music with the world?”

“That’s the thing – I don’t know,” Jaebum admitted. “And I think it’d be awfully bold of me to say that I want all three.”

“I think it’d be ambitious,” you said. “And that is what I admired the most about you ever since I texted your ad all of those months ago.”

“I thought it was the cat I’d used as my profile picture.”

You laughed. “I admired that, too. But it’s your confidence about what you wanted in life that really pulled me in and even inspired me to be more certain about my own goals. At the end of the day, all you want to do is to create music. That’s your passion. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from turning that passion into a living.”

Jaebum watched you for a moment before speaking again, “you’ve been a motivational speaker in your past life, haven’t you?”

You laughed again, shaking your head. “No. I’ve been a supportive friend. That’s what I’m trying to be in this life, too.”

It was—probably—very brave of you to call yourself his friend and you almost regretted it as soon as your eyes met his. Jaebum looked at you for a long while, this time, not saying anything and, thus, further fueling your regret.

“Thank you,” he finally spoke, his hand brushing lightly against yours on the counter between the two of you. “All of this means a lot to me.”

Hours later, you and Jaebum were crouched down on the floor of your bathroom, both of you watching the clock on the clothes dryer. You were leaning against the wall in the corner of the room, your eyes following digital numbers on the dryer in front of you while Jaebum rested against the wall next to you, his head halfway on your shoulder. It was already after midnight and, having had an early morning, both of you were too tired to care about how close the two of you were sitting to each other.

“Do you think it’ll take long for it to finish?” you asked, yawning for the sixth time in the past two minutes. “We should have moved into an apartment where the dryer actually showed how much time is left until the laundry’s done.”

Jaebum smiled – yawning a second later as well. “It probably always takes long, that’s why there’s no timer. You can go to sleep if you’re tired.”

“No,” you sighed, wanting to shake your head but stopping yourself before you did because you didn’t want to hit Jaebum who was leaning against you. “We still have to figure out the right way to get our clothes out of the dryer. To appease the society as one would.”

“Not sure if we’ll figure anything out if we both fall asleep while waiting for it to finish drying.”

“Sleeping on the bathroom floor,” you said. “Doesn’t sound so bad, to tell you the truth.”

Jaebum snickered quietly and then pulled away from your shoulder to give you a teasing look. “I’m sure sleeping in my bed is much more comfortable.”

You were sure he managed to catch the sight of your widening eyes before you looked away in embarrassment.

“Right,” you said, the sudden memory of falling asleep in Jaebum’s room last night – and the night before, after you’d confronted Suji – waking your mind right up. “Sorry I keep… falling asleep there.”

“I don’t blame you,” he smirked. “My bed is great. I guess I won that bet in the end, didn’t I?”

You scoffed. “No way. I would have built my bed faster if you hadn’t broken the frame.”

“Sure. But my bed is much more comfortable, so I’m the real winner,” he insisted.

“No, you’re not.”

“You wouldn’t have fallen asleep in my bed if it wasn’t more comfortable than yours.”

You didn’t say anything for a few moments before finally whispering, “I don’t think it’s about the bed.”

“No?” Jaebum asked, his eyes tracing the features of your face. You still weren’t looking at him so you didn’t notice the desperation hiding behind his gaze. You’ve just said something he’s been waiting to hear. He needed you to continue. “What’s it about, then?”

Too tired to filter your thoughts properly before you voiced them, you shook your head. You’ve already said enough. Now was not the time for pathetic confessions of love that may have not been reciprocated. No one deserved to get their hearts broken after midnight. It was the worst possible time.

“You know exactly what it’s about,” you chose to say.

Jaebum didn’t give in, “do I?”

“I think you do.”

“I’d like it if you said it.”

You laughed suddenly, your mind too tired to argue with him. “Get lost.”

It was so obvious what the two of you were talking about – you didn’t fall asleep in Jaebum’s bed because the bed was comfortable; you kept falling asleep there because he was there – and yet you were both too stubborn. You refused to voice the real reason why you found yourself in his bed and he refused to give up without hearing you say it out loud.

You were so close to something. So close, you could almost taste it on your lips after you nervously brought your tongue over them. You could almost feel it in the rapid beating of Jaebum’s heart when you moved your arm to find a more comfortable position and ended up positioning it right on his back.

You were so close but you weren’t there yet.

Jaebum responded to you with a tired chuckle and then, after slowly getting up from the floor, extended a hand for you. “Let’s go to sleep. We’ll get the clothes out tomorrow.”

“But they’ll be all wrinkled—”

“At least you’ll get a good night’s sleep,” he said, “so it won’t matter as much.”

You sighed, taking his hand and allowing him to help you stand up.

“So,” Jaebum said, his eyes glazed over with exhaustion, but his lips still curled into a teasing smirk. “My bed or yours?”

You pushed his shoulder, making him laugh again.

“Goodnight,” you said, walking past him towards your bedroom. Jaebum watched you go with the same smile still on his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

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