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#but seriously thanks so much to people who reblogged and donated I love you all
thebusylilbee · 1 year
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oh my god okay I can breathe a little bit better again, I'm gonna get through this month and the next without having a nervous breakdown thanks to you guys' help, and then I'll be able to work again during march, and by then I'm manifesting that I WILL have found a nice paid internship for april-august and after that I WILL find a nice student job again for my last year of uni and all will be right and once I get my diploma I WILL find a decent fucking job ! I'm manifesting all of it ! I am planting the seeds and I will see the harvest !!!
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marsosims · 4 months
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Hello! I've been super busy finishing up requirements for school... Today's the last day for the submission of requirements and I've been rushing to do them and submit on time, but I've been struck with a bout of procrastination, and I thought I'd participate in simblr appreciation day!
(under the cut because it's surprisingly long [that's what she said...])
I don't really have any particular people in mind but that's mostly because I cannot remember every single person and I would feel bad about forgetting anybody,,, ANYWAY! here's some appreciation to:
The people who make CC and mods - y'all make this game bearable and I genuinely cannot live without them so I am very much thankful to all of u ily all (except the permawallers)
The people who make those CC and mods POSSIBLE - the people over at s4s and all the other tools like s4castools, as well as the tutorials they've made over the years have been INVALUABLE to the community and I just wanted to recognize them and say thank you <3
The people who reblog CC and mods - I feel as a creator, I've always been very appreciative of people who reblog my content because it genuinely helps me out to have my content spread to a wider audience. On the flipside, as a consumer, I'm also very appreciative of these people because I LOVEE discovering new creators that I've never known before who make literally the best items out there and AAA i'm just so happy
The people who download and play with said CC and mods and create the most beautiful sims, stories, and builds with them - as a creator, I honestly feel very giddy whenever I see people use my cc or even my mods. I know I don't generally reblog (because I usually forget) but I genuinely appreciate all of you! Thank you so much! All of the sims and builds I've seen with my CC have been incredible and have been truly inspiring <3 The stories and edits that I see on my dashboard (or when I stalk people on my activity dashboard IM SORRY) are honestly amazing and I LOVE to see it!
Of course, the people who play vanilla! - whatever type of gameplay you make, whether it's vanilla or with a shit ton of CC and mods, I love to see it! It's so refreshing to see how differently people use the same game to create such a diverse community! Vanila players, however, I have SOO much respect for. You guys are the strongest soldiers out there. I am weak to the temptation of custom content. Always have been.
The people who made this a thing! - this has honestly been one of the best things I've seen on simblr in a while, all the negativity and drama have made me a little less keen on being here a few months ago, but I've slowly come back and I'm genuinely so happy to see something like this happen :D
My patrons - honestly couldn't really end this appreciation post without saying a thank you to my patrons. Seriously, thank you :D You don't know how much your donations mean to me and my getting through college. The extra funds from your donations have allowed me to be generally independent in terms of funding myself and my activities. Seriously.
Anyway, this has been a super long post and I'm actually kind of embarrassed to post it because it feels like a long diary because I've been rambling about stupid stuff that I should have probably kept to myself but uhh yeah!!!!
Hope you guys have a happy holiday season!!! Expect more things from me, at least until the end of this year! I've been working on some stuff! Probably not exciting, but it's stuff!
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witchings-ofkoi · 2 years
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trans person in need
I'm trying to be able to see my boyfriend this summer as well as pay for my medication and schooling but im really low on money.
I have a kofi up where i do commissions and sell bracelets i make and i would really appreciate any help at all. gas is really expensive as well as my medication and the job i have right now has no work for me so ive got no way of getting any income right now. any plan i had to move out previously have been halted for who knows how long and its looking like i'll be stuck living in a toxic place for a while.
Id love even just to have this post reblogged, people sharing tips with me or really any help i can get with my situation whatsoever, things are only looking worse as time goes on so seriously anything could help right now.
the stress of things is starting to make me sick and i ont know what to do other than ask people for help which on its own i struggle with doing.
if there are any questions you have at all id be glad to answer them and help clear up any confusion or anything.
thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
i hope to be able to see my boyfriend by mid june if possible and pay for my medication by the end of the month.
everything else i'll have to try and deal with when it comes to it.
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lesbiantvfish · 10 months
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Quick post I want to make tldr, I may start doing commissions soon after some days of rest.
Had my dr appointment today, going to talk abt my health under the cut. Some bad news but good news too, this is all personal so feel free to skip over this tbh, thanks!
cw: this is a loooong post btw
I had been seeing this new dr at the start of 2023 after I had finally gotten the control of my insurance from my father, who does not contact me, he had disowned me when I was outed as trans/a lesbian when I was 18.
I had issues with contacting a rheumatologist and neurologist through my new doctor because I had not known she did not understand English entirely and when I showed the positive diagnosis for autoimmune, she asked about my family history and thought I had been telling her “no, I don’t.”
It turned out the office hired a translator for the non Spanish speaking patients, and I was finally able to understand the miscommunication, and get the referrals!
We also confirmed the hand tremors aren’t improving, and that it is not due to anxiety either.
Not so good news is my heart rate got worse, I was recommended to rest more even if I cannot sleep, and eat much more often than I have been. Since I do not have enough funds to eat more than I am, I am going to open commissions soon, if anyone would reblog that post or recommend me to a person looking to buy art, I would greatly appreciate that!
Thank you for reading, I might be away more to rest for a little while, I will do my best to recover my heart health soon.
In the meantime I might just post my kofi for donations, but if you leave one and I know who you are, knowing me, I will draw gift art as thanks. ❤️ thank you for reading this whole post!
However if you are also not doing well financially I’d prefer if you only shared the donation link, it is scary to think I am harming anyone through that, no one is obligated to tip.
I mean this even more to friends!!!! Don’t u dare donate lol, but feel free to reblog a dono post when I make it. *kissing u on the mouth like Bugs Bunny to Elmer Fudd*
Sorry if this post is a bummer to hear, no matter how my health gets you might know my type of personality, I am easily excited and love to love my favorite things and such, I know hearing about bad health might make people think I am not doing well mentally, but honestly I haven’t been more happy than I am in a long time. Coming back to the srmthfg and ghs community has really been bringing me more joy than I can express, seriously.
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caroldantops · 3 years
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hey! im quite new here and i have seen a lot of talk about readers interactions and i was wondering what is the best way to support my favorite writers (like you) because i think i have been doing this wrong and i really want to support writers who do this<3 ps. sorry if that was confusing, english isnt my first language
not confusing at all babes! you're 100% clear.
also can i just say, i very much appreciate you asking this. i would much rather more people speak up and be like "hey, we dont know the best way to support our favorite writers so how can we?" other than just. Not Knowing and Not Doing Anything.
so, im going to speak from my own personal experience but also what ive seen many of my mutuals/writers i follow talk about. this might get a little long but i wanna answer as thoroughly as i can because people should know!
im putting it under a read more because it got hella long, but please i encourage everyone who reads fics but don't interact to read and consider these things.
fellow writers i encourage you to reblog and add any other commentary you think is helpful!
before anything else (this is absolutely not directed at you, anon, you're perfect), i just want to get this out of the way. never come to a writer's blog and get angry with them for complaining about lack of engagement. like jesus christ. writers are putting hours of work on tumblr for you for free. the least we ask is for comments and reblogs. that's it. if you go and act shitty towards writers who ask for more engagement, yet still follow and wait for the next fic, like what are you even doing bro. just stop.
anyway. now let's get to the actual question!
basically all writers on tumblr will agree, reblogs are vital. and i feel like that gets said a lot but maybe people dont actually understand how impactful it is so lemme give an example.
so let's say hypothetically i have 100 followers. that is 100 potential people who see a fic that i post (i say potential because timezones exist so you might not see it as it's posted)
and let's say one of my followers (Person A) reblogs it, and they have 50 followers. that's 50 more people that can read the fic.
and let's say Person B followers Person A and they also reblog it to their 50 followers.
with only two people reblogging a fic, that's already doubling the number of people who have read the fic.
now imagine Person C followers Person A and reblogs the fic, and Person C has like, 1,000 followers. that's so much more exposure for the writer.
and that's only from two followers of the writer. so imagine if all 100 that read the fic reblogged it? the numbers skyrocket at an exponential rate.
plus, more people reading means that the writer could get more people follow them. so they get a more consistent audience.
likes, on the other hand, do not guarantee this exposure. i would say that most people don't have their likes public on tumblr. and also, even if they do, i know that I'm not about to scroll through people's likes rather than scrolling thru their blogs. likes up the notes, and that's about it. of course i understand liking a fic so you can come back to it later, i do that all the time. but if I've liked a fic, i always reblog it once I've read it.
now, say you're reading hardcore smut that you might not want on your main blog for whatever reason, so that's why you don't reblog a fic. look, i get it. sometimes irl people follow your blog, or sometimes you just don't want people to know what you're getting up to. but that's why i made a sideblog specifically for fics.
this entire blog BEGAN as a way for me to reblog fics i liked. and then it grew and grew and grew into all this. not saying that you have to start writing if you do that of course, but i guarantee, i'd rather see a small sideblog blog with like 3 followers reblog my fic than a blog just like the fic and leave. because that's still 3 more people who will see my fic and possibly read it and reblog it. 3 is better than none.
comments. reblogs are important, but comments are really what keep writers writing. they inspire us with new ideas, help figure out what it is that people enjoy from us, help us improve our writing, and most importantly, they make us feel good. and like writing and posting is worth it.
now, i know that sometimes it can feel awkward reblogging with a comment directly on the post. i even usually don't do that unless it's with a friend. but here are some alternatives/tips!
send an ask or DM! if you're really intimidated, sending an anonymous message is by far the easiest way to bypass that awkwardness.
write in the tags!! i cannot express this enough. comment in the tags. ramble about the fic. just put three tags worth of screaming. literally ANY comments in the tags are my favorite thing. i promise you that writers will scroll thru like basically every tag.
also, if they post it on both tumblr and ao3, don't feel weird about giving a little comment on both! i do that all the time. you can even be like 'hey i read this on tumblr first but wanted to say again how much i enjoyed it' and that is like, heart burstingly nice to hear.
also, if you're having trouble coming up with something to say, my like top commenting tip as both a writer and a reader is point out something specific that you like about the fic. when i comment on a fic (this is moreso when i comment on ao3 bc my comments are always longer there) i try to point out a particular line i like. literally if you just copy and paste it and go 'wow i really really like this line especially' that is the number one way to a writer's heart. seriously. it's the simplest thing, but it makes SUCH an impact.
however, if your comments are only asking for more fics, then that's not a comment, that's a request (which not all writers take).
saying something like 'hey i loved this fic a lot! if you have more in store for this in the future, i'd be really excited to read it!' is a million times better than 'will you do a part 2'. i know they don't sound that different, but i promise you that the tone makes a big difference.
(i honestly have more thoughts about good ways to get over commenting fear/know what exactly to comment that doesn't feel generic, so if people would like me to make another post about it i'd do it.)
and last but not least, if the writer has a way to donate, like a ko-fi, that always is so appreciated. of course, take care of yourself first, but if you have a few bucks and wanna show some support to your faves, that's a great way to help :)
oh! also, if the writer ever reblogs those little ask game things, just send them something! engagement outside of writing is also so much appreciated.
i think that's about everything i can think of! i hope this is helpful and that my explanations weren't confusing (if i need to clarify anything let me know). and again, thank you so much for asking! even doing that shows that you're a reader who cares, and that means the world ❤
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parkersroses · 3 years
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delicate. | harry styles.
summary: two lonely people find solace in each other for the night and something delicate blossoms from it. 
pairing: harry styles x fem!reader
wc: 6.1k 
warning(s): fluff and smut (a first attempt at it) 
a/n: aaah i’m excited and nervous to post this. i guess it’s considered a Christmas fic because it’s set around that time. i do hope you guys enjoy this! i also wanna wish you all happy holidays! side note, i recently made a ko-fi account, so if you’re able to and like my writing, feel free to donate to it! anyways, enjoy! reblogs/feedbacks are very much appreciated! all my love and stay safe <3 (disclaimer: the gif rightfully belongs to @hampsteadharry​ )
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He pushed through the door of the bar, jazz music filling up his ears as he wandered to get a seat. He sighed as he sat on a bar stool, waiting for someone to attend to him and possibly give him the strongest drink here if he felt like it. 
Harry felt tired. He’s been tired and exhausted for a while now. Tired from work. Tired from the glitz and glam. Tired of people getting close to him because of his name and status. Just mentally and physically exhausted. But that’s not to dismiss the fact that he still loves his job. He loves and enjoys making music and seeing his fans - who he declared as the best fans in the world - singing back his songs to him. 
Though, there comes a time where he doesn’t enjoy it as much as he thought he should lately. Being a well-known singer, songwriter and actor seemed pretty cool but no one knows how tiring and raining it could be. Always having to prove yourself and explaining yourself because of ridiculous rumours that articles make up. Always ending up hurt when you found out your friends were using you because of how well-known you were.
So, he announced that he’d be taking a break from all that. Of course, there was an uproar from his fans but in the end, they understood and sent him lovely messages about having to keep his mental health his main priority. 
So now, here he was, sitting at a bar, trying to drink away his emotions. Perhaps, he would find a girl that he could go home with to fill in the empty space of his bed for the night. His break was quite eye-opening to say the least. Harry realised how alone he felt. He thought it was just all in his head because how could he be lonely even when he still had few of his friends around? But he didn’t know that being alone and still feeling alone were different. 
And the irony of it nearly being Christmas, there wasn’t much magic or cheer going around for him at the moment. He’ll have to get his shit together before going back to visit his family for the holidays.
“What can I get ya?” a voice snapped Harry out of his thoughts. A woman stood before him behind the bar, he realised it was one of the bartenders there. She wore a long sleeved black shirt, the sleeves rolled up until her elbows. Her long hair was tied up into a ponytail, strands of hair framing around her face. He thought she was pretty. Beautiful, he would say.
Bartender lady snapped her fingers at his face, knocking him out of his thoughts once again. “Seemed to be far away there. Are you sure you’re good here? In a bar?” She said and she smirked at Harry. He felt the blood rushed to his cheeks, having been caught staring at the pretty bartender lady.
“S-Sorry. A whiskey for now will do,” he said softly. Pretty bartender lady smiled at him and nodded. “Alright, then,” she said, heading off to get his drink. 
Harry’s eyes followed her figure, almost like he was entranced by her. He was not sure why he did. Seconds later, she put his drink on a coaster in front of him. “Thanks,” he quietly said as he picked up his drink. 
“Don’t mention it. You seemed like you need it,” she said almost knowingly. He chuckled at her words. Well, she got that right. “Yeah, just trying to clear my head a bit,” he shrugged at her. 
Pretty bartender lady nodded. “Rough day?” She inquired. Harry raised an eyebrow at her question. He probably thought that she was trying to make a conversation other than cleaning shot glasses. He hesitated a little, thinking she might just be another fan and might spill whatever that comes out of his mouth to the nearest journalist. But then, he remembered that he’s already one drink down to probably getting drunk and his mind won’t really care even if he woke up hungover the next day.
So, he shrugged at her question. “Guess you could say that,” he said as he set down the empty shot glass. “I don’t know. I guess I just have a lot of things in my mind. And drinking does numb my emotions a bit. If that made sense,” he chose to say as he looked at her. 
She only giggled at his words. “That sounds quite deep. Should write a song about it,” she joked and for a second, Harry thought she knew about him. Because for once, he’d like to talk to someone who’s unaware of his celebrity status. Someone who’d talked to him with a sense of normalcy. Instead of talking to the famous Harry Styles. 
“Maybe I should. And I’ll credit you in it,” he joked. She laughed, throwing her head back as she did. “Oh gosh, I always wanted to be a famous songwriter,” she said dramatically. They both laughed at this. It was weird to Harry, this scene felt so normal, it felt as if he knew her for a while now. 
She nodded at his empty glass. “Want another?” She asked. Harry thought about it before asking. “Actually, what’s your favourite drink?” Pretty bartender lady was surprised to say the least, but smiled at Harry. “Why?” He only smiled back. “‘Cause I want another drink. And I want to treat you one too. I’ll even pay for yours, love,” 
She blushed at this, not expecting him to be so forward yet sweet. “Cheeky, aren’t you?” She said smiling at him, and she noticed a hint of blush on his cheeks. “My mum always taught me to be a gentleman,” he shrugged,
She chuckled at this. “Fine then. I’ll be right back,” she said, going to get whatever her favourite drink was for Harry. Harry smiled as she walked away. He couldn’t help but feel some sort of liking towards her, but not knowing why. Maybe because she was just a pretty bartender lady. 
She returned later with two glasses of her ‘favourite drink’ and set them in front of him. Harry was skeptical to see the strange colour of liquid, raising an eyebrow at her. She only smiled and raised her glass up. 
“Bottoms up,” she said as she drank from her glass. 
Harry sniffed the drink a bit before thinking he was being silly and drank it. As the sweet taste hit his taste buds, he chuckled as he shook his head. “Apple juice? Really?” He questioned. 
She laughed as she took another sip on her drink. “Well, you asked for my favourite drink and I gave it to you,” she said with a smirk in her face. “So, you don’t drink?” he asked curiously. She shrugged at him. “A bit sometimes. Just don’t prefer it unless I wanna get really drunk,” she let out a small laugh. Harry chuckled at her words, finding himself agreeing with her. 
Harry noticed how pretty of a smile she had. He didn’t know why a tiny detail like that stuck out to him. He found himself quite intrigued with the pretty bartender lady, which he realised he had been calling her that in his head without knowing her name. He stared into her eyes and found himself hypnotized by them. Suddenly, it seemed like they were the only two people in the room. Okay, stop. She’ll think you’re weird.
It was as if his mind took control over him and he found himself asking her, “When do you get off?” He asked, his eyes widening after realising the words that came out of his mouth.
What the fuck!?, he thought.
She was surprised, her mouth agape as she processed what he had just asked. But she seemed to compose herself quickly. “And why do you wanna know?” She asked nervously. 
Harry paused before choosing his next words carefully. “Because you seem really cool to talk too. And I’d like to talk to you more,” he said. He was nibbling on his bottom lip, a habit he had whenever he got nervous. He shrugged before he continued, “It’s nice to have a friend, you know?” 
Pretty bartender lady - and Harry swore he’ll get her name soon - nodded at him and smiled. Like she knew what he meant. “I’ll be off at 10,” she said. It was only 30 minutes until then. Harry was initially surprised at this, not thinking whether she would agree to - whatever he wanted to with her later. 
He nodded in response. “I’ll, uh, wait for you here, then,” he spoke nervously. She chuckled and took their glasses away so she could clean and attend to the other customers before her boss yelled at her. 
As she walked away, Harry called out to her. “Wait!” She turned around, eyes wide when he called her. “Um, what’s your name?” He asked. She smiled as her heart melted at the innocent question. 
“It’s Y/N,” she replied.
Harry nodded, a small timid smile appearing on his face. “I’m Harry,” he said. 
She smiled and nodded at his short introduction. Now, the pretty guy with forest green eyes had a name she could call him. “I’ll see you later, Harry,” she said as she returned to the back of the bar.
Harry sighed, seeming to be smitten already by her. “Yeah. See you later,” he said softly to himself.
Now, Y/N was no idiot. She knew who Harry Styles was. 
She wasn’t like the biggest fan, but she appreciated his music and thought he was a lovely guy in general, according to the fan experiences she read. She didn’t know much about him, other than he was a former member of a very successful boyband and his music was just incredible. Plus, she thought he was pretty handsome.
And when she saw him walking through the doors of the bar, she had to take a double take to make sure her eyes weren’t deceiving her. 
She usually took her job quite seriously, she was polite to all customers and made sure they were always satisfied with their drinks or snacks. It was usually because she wanted to get the tips she needed to pay her rent. So, when Harry sat down by the bar, she couldn’t help herself but go to him. 
But now, she was supposed to meet him after her shift. Which was strange to her because all she did was being nice to him and making up a conversation. Did he realise that she was pretending to not know him? Was this some sort of mind trick that was playing on her? Though, he mentioned how it was nice to have a friend. Maybe there was something behind that phrase that meant something deeper to him. 
It was already 10 PM. Y/N said goodbye to her coworkers as she grabbed her scarf and coat from her locker. Her heart was beating fast because she realised she was about to go on a little rendezvous with Harry Styles, well, that was what she thought. 
She wasn’t expecting anything. She honestly thought he might have just left, realising how silly it was to wait for a bartender friend he just made. 
But she walked towards the front of the bar and he was still sitting in his seat like he said he would, waiting for her. And she felt like her heart might burst.
Harry didn’t think he’d find himself sitting at a 24-hour diner, eating some waffles with a pretty friend he just met at nearly 11 PM. He was starting to blame that one whiskey drink he asked for earlier as to be honest, he didn’t know what was happening. 
When he met Y/N in front of the bar after the shift, he was nervous, shifting on his feet in habit. When Y/N asked him what he had in mind, he froze because he realised he didn’t think this through. All he wanted was to talk to pretty bartender lady Y/N. The rest was all hazy to him. Luckily, Y/N just laughed at this and guided him to her favourite diner. 
They both ordered waffles with honey and blueberry toppings, courtesy of Y/N as she said they were the best waffles she ever had. Y/N got herself a chocolate smoothie while Harry just ordered a nice hot tea. It was a nice little meal. 
“So, Harry, what brings you here to LA?” Y/N asked him as she munched on her waffles. 
Harry sipped on his tea before clearing his throat. “Uh, I live here, mostly for work. But I’m on a break now,” he said, not giving out too much information. “Hmm. But you haven’t lived here long, I assume. Could tell by your accent,” she said knowingly.
He smiled at this. “Yeah? You like my accent, darlin’?” he teased her and pride filled himself as he saw her cheeks flaring up in the colour red. “Quite the flirt, are ya? But yes, your accent is cute,” she said as she ate. “Good to know,” he smiled and winked at her. 
Y/N rolled her eyes at him as she blushed. He seemed to be quite the flirt, teasing her and calling her pet names. If it were any other guy, she would’ve just left. She admitted that she might not have the best ways in maintaining a relationship. It was always whether she was too picky or bossy and her insecurities always got the best of her. She was used to feeling of being used for sex and her body even when she wanted to believe they wanted something more out of it. She closed herself off from love for a while now. While everyone said that her time will come, she just ignored them. Her main priority was herself and that was for sure.
But there was something about Harry that was pulling her in. He wasn’t far from what the papers write about him but at the same time, he was. He seemed somewhat closed off as she was. She didn’t want to pry, she’d never do that. It was like he was in this fish tank surrounded by spectators watching his every move. Maybe the life he has had somewhat prevented him from forming a real, honest attachment. Or maybe she was just making this all up. 
She sipped on her smoothie, her eyes focused on his. She realised how green his eyes were looking up close. “So, I have a question. And I want you to answer this as truthfully as possible,” she said, propping her head on the palms of her hands. Harry raised an eyebrow at her, chuckling a bit before nodding. “Alright, love. Lay it on me,” he said, leaning back on the booth. 
Y/N blushed at the pet name given and cleared her throat. “Why did you want to see me?”
It was silent between them. Harry should’ve known this question would come up. Truthfully, he didn’t know how to answer it, he was never one to make friends with a random person and go on a little rendezvous late at night. He shrugged at this, “Like I told you, it’s nice to have a friend,”
“That couldn’t be all,” Y/N smiled. “You don’t seem like the kind of person to befriend a bartender and go out with her for a late supper the same night,” Harry blushed at this and scratched the back of his ear with his finger. “I don’t know. Maybe I just wanted to be spontaneous a bit,”
Y/N hummed at this, sipping on her drink. Harry’s eyes were trained on her and she somehow found that a bit intimidating. “I got off work just to clear my mind a bit,” he continued. “Sometimes, I’d go out with my friends, I’d meet some girls and spend the night with them, just to feel something. Just to not be alone,” This was the most Harry had opened up to someone in a while. 
“But you still feel alone,” Y/N spoke. Harry frowned at this, not quite sure what she meant. “You could be with someone, and still would feel alone. I get that,” she explained. 
Harry’s mouth was agape. “Y-Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled out. “Can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead,”
“You really don’t know me, do you?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. She let out a small laugh. “I knew who you were the moment you stepped foot into that bar,” she said. Harry’s eyes widened. All this time, he was glad he thought Y/N didn’t know him but she treated him like any other normal person. But she knew all along. 
“That was.. Surprising,” he chuckled as he ran his hands through his curly locks. “But, you didn’t seem to look like y’know me. Treated me like a normal person,” She stifled a laugh. “Well, would you rather I’d treat you like royalty? Curtsey in front of you?” She joked. 
Harry laughed at this. “No, no. It was nice. It’s good t’just pretend your life is normal for once,” he nodded at her. “I’m sure you have some friends that treat you like you are just Harry,” she smiled. 
Harry only shrugged at this, “A few of them do. When you’re in the industry long enough, you’d know how to tell apart the few people that are honest and real with you and the many who just use you sometimes.” Y/N frowned at this but nodded. While she couldn’t connect to being in the same industry as him, she knew perfectly how it feels like to be used by people you allowed yourself to get close to. 
He brought his cup of tea to his lips, realising how cold it was getting. “You want some?” He offered his drink to her. Y/N nodded, taking the cup from him. “You like tea?” She asked.
“I do, but I prefer coffee,” he smiled at this random conversation. “Please tell me you don’t take your coffee black,” Y/N narrowed her eyes at him, as if she was daring him to admit it. Harry smirked and shrugged at her. “Sorry, love. It’s the best way to have coffee,”
“No, it’s not! It’s so bitter!” Y/N exclaimed and laughed at this. “I don’t think this would work out,” she pouted. Harry swore his heart beated a little faster, seeing her lips pout. He wondered how they’d feel against his. “What wouldn’t work out, love?” He smiled at her. 
Y/N blushed at this, looking down at her lap before she looked at him again. “Whatever you want this to be,”
They spent their time getting to know each other and by the time it was midnight, Harry ended up paying for their meals, ignoring her protests as he did. Y/N was tempted to wipe off that smug smile off his face. The December air howled as the night went on as the decorative holiday lights lit up the street they walked on. The two walked side by side, their hands brushing against each other’s. If Harry had the guts, he would intertwine their hands together. But he didn’t. Not yet, at least. 
“Random question, but do you prefer sunrises and sunsets?” she asked out of the blue. Harry thought for a moment before answering, “M’not sure, actually. Never really paid attention to them all that much.” Y/N nodded at his answer.
“Sometimes I like to wake up early just to see the sunrise,” Y/N spoke. Harry looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah? You like sunrises?” he asked gently, the cold air making his breath visible to see. “I do. I like sunsets too. But no one ever stops to appreciate the sunrises,” she sighed.
“Maybe it’s because they can’t be bothered to wake up so early,” Harry joked, making her laugh. “Yeah. Well, I do that. My apartment has a nice view of it. It’s nice. The city is just beginning to wake up. The golden glow casted upon it,” 
Harry nodded at her. “Is this your way of inviting me over?” He teased. Y/N paused, her cheeks flaming up. It wasn’t her intention, but she might as well have done so. Harry was a nice company to keep and she liked him. She really did like him. “Maybe,” she mumbled. 
Harry smiled at her sudden shyness. It was something he liked about her. He really liked her. And he wanted her to take him back to her home, as pathetic as that made him seem. 
“Well, lead the way, darlin’,”
Y/N struggled to put her keys into the keyhole of her apartment. Nervous was an understatement for her. She had a really sweet and attractive man waiting behind her and she was about to invite him in. She was almost sweating at the thought and she didn’t know why.
She opened the door, letting the warm air of her small apartment flow through them. Harry found it quite cozy. There were plants placed in different corners of the room, he noticed a record player by the television. There was also an easel standing by it. It was small, unlike his luxurious houses, but homey.
“You paint?” He asked. Y/N blushed at this, she forgot to put away your paint and clean up. In her defense, she didn’t think you would have company tonight. “Yeah, s’just a hobby. And somewhat a side hustle,” she said, taking off her coat and putting in on the couch. Harry did the same, subtly wiping his sweaty palms against his dark jeans. 
“Uh, d-do you want something to drink?” she asked nervously. Idiot, you just had drinks. “Or, if y’want, I have some chocolate chip cookies. If you like chocolate chip cookies. I mean, y’don’t have to but-,” Y/N was cut off upon hearing Harry chuckling at her, his expression amused as he listened to her nervous rambling. 
“Don’t worry, darlin’. I’m good,” he said, smiling at her. She blushed again at the use of the pet name.
It was silence, the only thing that could be heard was their breathing as they looked at each other. Harry slowly walked over, Y/N’s breath hitched as he did so. She was nervous and she was scared, she hadn’t done this in a long time. His arm settled on her waist and it was the first time he touched her. His eyes, green as ever and filled with lust and passion, were focused on hers. She could feel his breath hitting her face due to the proximity between them. 
Y/N gently placed her hands on his chest, feeling it rising up and down as he breathed. His forehead was already pressing against hers, their noses slightly brushing against each other. “Can I kiss you?” Harry finally asked ever so softly. And Y/N couldn’t help but nod her head. “Please,”
His lips crashed into hers, gently at first, but she kissed him harder, making it more passionate. She could hear him moan into the kiss as their tongues battled for dominance. His hands travelled lower to her backside, she moaned aloud as he squeezed them. When they pulled away, they would instantly pull into another kiss again, wanting to be close. Harry lowered his hands further behind her thighs, signaling her to jump so he could hold her tightly against him. 
“Y/N, I won’t be able to stop,” he said, gasping for air. Y/N only kissed him again, replying as her lips were against his. “Then, don’t,”
Y/N wasn’t sure how they made it to her room, laying nearly naked on her bed. She just realised how many tattoos he had on his body. She traced over the art scattered over his skin delicately. “Harry,” she whimpered as she felt his hardened length grinding against her core. She could feel her arousal seeping through her underwear. She gasped as he pressed kisses down her neck onto her collarbones, her eyes rolling back when he sucked a sweet spot there. His fingers entangled themselves between hers, squeezing them tightly. 
“Harry, please,” 
“I got you, baby. Gonna take my time with you,” he said gently as he kissed her forehead.
Y/N could feel her heart beamed at the sweet gesture. She had one-night stands before, but none of them felt as intimate as with Harry. The way he kissed her, held her, it almost felt right. And she wondered if he felt it too. 
When they’re fully naked and Harry lined himself against her, he looked at her, as if he was asking if she was still sure of this; if she wanted this; if she wanted him. Her eyes were shining as the moonlight shone through her curtains, her hair sprawled against her pillow. She was beautiful and ethereal. He almost couldn’t believe it. 
A nod from her was all it took for him to push himself in, the two moaning in relief as pleasure shot through their bodies. He slowly thrusted, taking his time with her. The feeling of euphoria running through their bodies as they held each other close. Her legs were wrapped around his hips, wanting to keep his warm body close to her. “Harry, faster,” Y/N pleaded.
It was almost like a switch went off his head before Harry spreaded her legs further, thrusting harder and further into her. Moans and groans filled the room and the scent of sex and sweat filled the air. Harry had his head buried into the crook of her neck, breathing hard as he felt the pleasure burning at the bottom of his spine. He was close and he knew she was too from the way she was clenching around him. 
“You close, baby?” He breathed out as he looked at her. The bed was creaking with every movement they made. Y/N moaned in ecstasy as she nodded her head, trying to keep her eyes on him. She didn’t want to miss a thing with him.
Harry took her by surprise by pulling out, lifting her up so she sat on his lap. He guided himself into herself, groaning as she welcomed him in her. Y/N moaned loudly as she felt him hit deeper, feeling herself clenching around him. She quickly began to move against him, smiling as she saw Harry shut his eyes in pleasure, murmuring her name. “C-Close, Harry, fuck,” she groaned as she moved faster.
Harry sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as if it was possible. He thrusted his hips upwards against hers, adding to the euphoric pleasure that was coursing through them. “I know, baby. Fuck, y’feel so good around me,” he moaned out, looking at her with hooded eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck, their heavy breaths hitting each other’s faces. 
It was only a glance into his forest green eyes that triggered her high. She moaned out loud, her body shaking against him, and just the sight of her high triggered Harry’s. He groaned against her neck and cursed a string of profanities under his breath as he kept thrusting his hips into her, prolonging his orgasm. When they calmed down from their highs, they took deep breaths before pressing their lips together. Harry could hear a whimper from the beautiful woman above him. He was delirious with the bliss feeling. 
They laid on their sides, admiring each other’s glowing yet sweaty state. Harry closed his eyes and sighed as Y/N brushed her fingers through his hair. “Y’alright?” he murmured to her. She nodded and gave him a shy smile. He thought it was cute of her acting all shy after having done such an intimate and dirty activity with him. He kissed the tip of her nose, smiling as she scrunched it up. “You’re beautiful,” he admitted. 
Y/N let out a deep breath. There was no denying the attraction she felt for him. The setting was so intimate, far from what she thought it was going to be. She felt herself opening up to him, something she prevented herself from doing for a long time. She was scared of this, but she liked it at the same time. 
“Hold me?” she asked and Harry pulled her against his body without a second to waste. Their breathing was the only sound they paid attention to. Y/N nuzzled her face against the crook of his neck, her finger tracing the tattoos on his chest. 
“Are you gonna stay?” she asked softly. She was not expecting anything, but she hoped he did stay. 
Harry smiled and pulled her closer. “Only if y’want me to,” he said. Y/N returned the smile, tracing out his lips with her finger, feeling how soft they were. 
“I’d like that,”
When Harry woke up, he felt an empty cold space beside him. Confused at first, he sat up slowly, wondering where the pretty woman he liked was. He turned his head and there she was, sitting by her window looking out into the early morning. She was sipping on something from her mug and she was wearing his dark blue T-shirt from the night before. She looked absolutely breathtaking. 
“You’re up early,” he said, catching her by surprise at the sound of his voice. She smiled at him and made her way to sit on his lap, putting her mug on the bedside table. “You missed the sunrise.” She ran her fingers through his messy bed hair. He sighed, realising how much he liked her doing that simple yet intimate gesture. “Yeah? Was it pretty?” 
“Very,” she sighed as Harry laid his head on his shoulder. He held her tightly in his arms, similar to how he did when they slept. “Well, you’re prettier,” he said, planting kisses up her neck. She realised how deep and raspy his voice sounded in the morning, it sent shivers down her spine. “Well, you’re a charmer,” she murmured. 
Harry looked up at her, taking in her morning glow that she was emitting. “Your eyes are really pretty,” Y/N said softly as she admired his forest green eyes. “Yeah? Y’think so?” he said, playfully fluttering his eyes at her. She laughed at this, throwing her head back. Harry thought it was the sweetest sound. She traced the outline of his lips with her index finger, feeling how soft they were under her touch. Harry kept his mouth agape as she did so. 
“Can I kiss you?” Y/N whispered. He smiled at her, remembering his exact words from the night before, before nodding. “Please,”
The fluttering in his stomach intensified as their lips met. The thing that clouded Harry’s mind was how soft her lips were and how sweet they tasted. Their kiss almost made him feel dizzy for how much passion there was. When they pulled away, he looked at Y/N with hooded eyes, his breathing was heavy from the blissful sensation he felt. He gently wrapped his arms around her frame and it just felt right.
He pulled her into another kiss, a moan elicited from Y/N that sent blood rushing to his lower region. His hands travelled up his shirt she was wearing and he let out a groan, realising she had nothing underneath it. He felt drunk by her touch, her scent; everything. It was a delicate feeling he felt and he didn’t want to let go of it. He could get used to this, the feeling of her. For once in a long while, he didn’t feel alone anymore. 
It was no doubt that Y/N felt the same. 
It all just felt right. 
The snow was covering the backyard, the trees and bushes were covered in white. Y/N watched as the snow fell while sipping on her hot chocolate. The house was decorated for the special wintery day. The tree was lit up and decorated with many ornaments as well as pictures on it, the presents laying closely below it. 
Voices snapped her out of her thoughts, she smiled as she heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. She turned around to see her husband holding up a sleepy little girl in his large muscular arms, the little girl they were blessed with as their daughter. Harry was talking animatedly to Ruby, trying to wake her up in the Christmas spirit. 
He gasped and pointed his finger at you. “Look, Rue! It’s mummy! An early bird, isn’t she?” He said to Ruby as he bounced her gently in his arms. You rolled your eyes at his silliness. “Mama,” the little girl reached out to her mother as she rubbed her sleepy eyes. Y/N set her mug on the counter and grabbed lifted little Ruby in her arms. “Morning, Rue baby,” Y/N cooed softly at her, closing her mouth with the back of her hand when she yawned. 
“Think she’s a bit tired,” Harry chuckled at them. “Y’think? Who’s the idiot that woke her up early?” Y/N asked sarcastically at her husband. He only lifted his arms up in defense, a smug smile painted on his face. Ruby quietly giggled at her parents. He sipped on a mug of hot chocolate and she narrowed her eyes at her as he leaned back on the counter. 
“Are you really drinking my hot chocolate?” Harry paused for a bit before swallowing the warm drink. “I’ll make ya another one, love,” he rubbed the back of his neck. Y/N rolled her eyes at him before chuckling. “You better, Styles.” She felt Ruby shifting in her arms and gently bounced her. “Y’alright, bubs?” She pouted at her daughter. 
“Snow,” she said, pointing out the window where the snow was falling. “Yeah, bubs! It’s snowing!” Y/N exclaimed excitedly to her, making Ruby giggle. “Dada, snow!” she exclaimed to her father. 
Harry laughed at his daughter’s adorableness. “That’s right, Rue!” He agreed, stroking through her curly hair that she inherited from him. He placed a hand gently on Y/N’s clothed stomach. “And how’s bub number 2 doing?” He asked softly. Y/N smiled, her heart beaming at the gentleness of her husband. “They’re doing great in there,” she said, placing her hand over his above her two-month growing belly. 
Harry beamed at this, pressing a gentle kiss on her lips, eliciting a small whimper from her. 
“I love you,” he whispered against her lips. Even after all these years, she found his green eyes just as beautiful and hypnotizing.
“I love you, too,” she said and smiled at him as they broke away. 
Perhaps, Harry would consider himself lucky that his sad lonely self walked into the bar she previously worked at five years ago. Maybe if he hadn’t opened up to Y/N or went back to her apartment, he wouldn’t be able to have this little family he was blessed with. There was something so delicate and real he felt that night that he wanted to keep. So naturally, they both let their walls down and took a chance on each other. And perhaps because it was nearing Christmas that night, he would think of it as some Christmas miracle. 
“Wanna open the presents, Rue?” Y/N asked Ruby as bounced her in her arms. Ruby giggled, not even understanding what her mother said, and nodded. “Yeah? Wanna open presents with mummy and daddy?” Y/N said excitedly as she carried her into the living room. Harry chuckled at the precious sight of them as he followed them.
As they sat down in the living room, he took a moment to just admire his wife and his daughter. Y/N, though wearing one of his Christmas sweaters and sleep shorts, looked just as beautiful and ethereal as she did the night they met. She held little Ruby in her arms, who was busy tearing up the small present in front of her. His wife cheered at their daughter as she took out a little stuffed teddy bear, giggling as she waved it around with her small hands.
Y/N looked up at him and gave him a loving smile as she intertwined her fingers with him. Despite them being in such cold weather, her hands felt warm against his. He admired how they fit perfectly in his. Ruby babbled incoherently to her parents about her gift, in which they nodded like they understood what she said. Harry’s heart warmed up just thinking of how they’ll have another addition to their loving little family soon. 
His heart was full of love and happiness. He no longer felt alone. He had everything he wanted in that moment, his growing little family.
Everything was just right. 
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x-reader-theater · 2 years
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Goodbye Tumblr.
Hello. Before I get started I just want to talk about a few things. One, I want to thank everyone who has been with me throughout whether they are new or have been here since the beginning. You are all amazing and I appreciate you. I also want to thank specific people. @spideyandtheboys for interacting and being a more passive mutual. I respect you and your work and thank you for all you've shown me. @ssa-atlas-hoodrat for being a good friend and listening to me when I needed to rant, as well as being there for me during more recent hardships. @personwithdepressionandanxiety for always sharing my stories and giving me new prompts to complete and a reason to continue writing. @billionsandbillionsofstars for also giving me reasons to continue writing and eventually morphing in a friend. @mlmxreader and his discord for writers and readers, and who always backed me up and cheered me on when I needed it. And finally, @mystic-writes for continuing to edit my work and just being an amazing person and friend.
Now, with that out of the way, I want to talk about why I'm leaving Tumblr, or, at least, this blog.
This isn't fun for me anymore. No one cares enough to reblog my stuff so I find myself sitting and waiting for people to enjoy it but that usually stops happening after the first two days. It wasn't that bad when I was posting something new every day, but the spam likers were so annoying. I just never did anything about them. Now I block them as much as I can, and that still isn't enough. No one actually reblogs my work, even if they like every single one of my stories. But that shut doesn't do anything. And I've found myself not only frustrated with how I'm reacting to it, but how others are as well. They yell and scream at me like I told them I killed their mother, like reblogging is such a horrible thing, and I honestly don't think I'm asking for much when I ask for reblogs. This isn't some last ditch effort to get them by the way.
I'm also leaving because my autism makes it hard for me to understand social cues and my own social cues especially over text. It seems that whenever I'm not overly positive I'm seen as rude and angry, and I don't know why or how I'm being that way, but I guess I am. I'm tired of people saying that to me, telling me I'm a rude, awful person when I can't even understand why they're feeling this way.
I don't know if I'll ever post to Tumblr again. I want to, but it's been seriously bad for my mental health and really damaging. I'm not going to delete any of my stories since I spent so long providing over 150 stories for people to read, and I'm proud of all of them, even if I don't reblog every single one of my own works. I also will not be closing my ask box or deleting my asks because I don't know if I'll ever come back to them or this blog, and I want to write people's requests if I ever do come back. I also will not be closing my private messages so you can message me at any time if you wish to.
I will be posting exclusively to AO3 so if you wish to support me there, I'm under the same name, x-reader-theater.
Also, if you feel like supporting me through this I have a Kofi but in no way am I making you donate. It's just something that would be nice especially since I have so much free content.
This has been a really, really hard thing for me to write and I'm sad to leave but I know it's better for everyone if I do. Thank you to everyone who supported me and stuck with me through all this and I'm happy to say this is for the best.
Thank you.
Love,
Tony (x-reader-theater)
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chokemeanakin · 3 years
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Hi guys just checking in!!! I’m still alive, and I do see your messages and even tho I can’t answer all them right now I do read + appreciate them!! ❤️
This year has been so difficult so far, but I’m determined to come back in December after classes end. Thank so you much to all the people that donated (and reblogged) for the accident, it helps me so fucking much!! Seriously, you have no idea how much you saved my life. You guys know who you are ❤️
So much love to each and every one of you. Hopefully I can drop in again soon and answer some messages!
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Info, tags, side blogs
This blog is a mess, check them out (or not, go wild, who am I to stop you. Would be cool if you did, though! Some stuff here‘s a bit important, so if something here comes back to bite you don’t say I didn’t warn ya!)
General info:
-DNI list here (not that the people you’d want to ni would actually care in most cases, but still. These are here for you, not for me, so please don‘t fill the inbox cuz you didn‘t like what you saw here!)
-IF I DONT SAY THANKS ON AN ASK ITS IMPLIED I SWEAR IM THANKFUL FOR ALL OF THEM
-Posts are sometimes queued, no queue tag tho.
-Don’t really reblog donation posts. Sorry.
-I generally refer to people as pals, no matter if we actually know each other or not. If you’d rather not be called pal/buddy/friend/etc, and instead prefer something else/nothing, please say so.
-the blog description is accurate. There will be lots of posts and they WILL mostly be random thoughts. Yea
-I don’t live in the US ; in fact, I live on the other side of the planet (Hi! :D) so while (I like to think) I‘m pretty fluid in English 95% of the time, there might be some grammatical mistakes (as well as cultural diferences!) in this blog
-time zones are funky but so is my sleep schedule, and they somehow manage to cancel out each other most of the time.
-social skills are not unlocked yet. So if I happen to talk too much in the tags/about myself/too directly, or can’t keep up a conversation, I swear it’s not intentional. Feel free to call me out on it (kindly)!
-if ya need something to be translated from/into German for whatever reason I can provide
-if ya need vaguely Mediterranean to Middle Eastern food recommendations, I can also provide!
-if ya wanna see something under a super old microscope, I can especially provide! (Seriously. Please ask me to look at stuff under a microscope)
Tags on Posts:
-reboggels: reblogs
-another anon ask: anonymous asks. (99% aren’t actually asks but they’re sent via ask button into the ask box so. y‘know).
-toastshark rambles: used to be toastshark lore before I changed to this one cuz it’s more generalized. Random rambles that aren’t specifically irl stuff, I guess…?
-original character do not steal [tm]. My oc tag across all blogs. Yeaaa I‘m one of those people.
-ingame journal entry [number]: little reaction summaries of new/old games I play. A list of all games and their tags is here. its toast plays [game in question] now!
-bhts recommends: stuff I think is way too underrated/unknown/I just think is neat. Seriously check some of these out please
-pixel doodle: Pixelart made by someone whose only experience is loving games of the art style and watching too many YouTube tutorials, using mostly dotpict. (if you see stuff from this blog on an account called [InsertName], that’s mine!)
-​another day in the life of a toadshark: irl-posting
-cheese saga: the adventures of Cheese the moth that woke me up by flying into my face at 3am, and all the other lil moth pals that have since come to visit me
everything else: mostly videogames
and also me just rambling a lot
(Lotsa tags ik but mobile doesn’t have archive)
Sideblogs:
(toastshark) (toast not toad), drawing aka main side blog. It’s not as chaotic and screamy there as in this main blog, so please go check it out. I do requests too!
tocstshark, super self indulgent sideblog to dump my oc lore. Yeaaa I‘m one of those. Sorry. Might be cringe but at least I‘m free- the tag original character do not steal [tm] is my oc tag across all blogs.
mm-in-mc, a “recreating Clocktown in Minecraft Bedrock” blog. Technically in hiatus because I can’t be bothered to important all those screenshots all the time lmao-
randomgamesIhave, a sideblog where I catalogue a bunch of random games I have on my phone because we all know how easy it is for mobile games to disappear without any warning…or just because I think they’re neat
stuffedpeppershark, zombie apocalypse diary but instead of zombies it’s plants slowly taking over my room and mind
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fanficflaneuse · 4 years
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One Day - Part 12
Tags: @fandomscombine @okaydraco @naomi02hook @iliketoast23 @winnsmills @oldfashionedlovergirlsblog @happycomb @xtrashmouthxtozierx @hopplessdreamer @dracoxxyoflam @cleopatera @hess016
(Sentimental A/N at the end) 
Draco x reader (she/her pronouns) Word count: 1587 Summary: One day AU. Post-war. Since The Battle of Hogwarts, Draco and y/n meet one day a year.
Masterlist 
Enjoy!
3 May, 2012
Minerva McGonagall had decided that this year’s commemoration of the Battle of Hogwarts would be the best they would ever have. Those who attended had always made the it a very beautiful affair, yet it was, often than not, solemn and sad. Even if it felt like too much to ask for, the headmistress truly wanted the day to go be pleasant – a celebration of life rather than a remembrance of death.
The night of May the 2nd, Hogwarts opened its doors once again, this time for a feast. As the Great Hall filled with former students and other members of the wizarding community, excitement lingered in the air. It reminded McGonagall of the enthusiasm of first years. Everyone was dressed up in elegant robes, thrilled of reuniting with old friends and have – for once on this day – a good time.
Draco had never been to one of those ceremonies. Even when (Y/N) had insisted all of those years ago, he felt like it wasn’t his place to be. This year, though, he decided to go. He said it was for her, but in reality, there was a deeper longing to make peace with that place and the people he never had the chance to apologize to.
“We can leave whenever you get tired.” Even if he tried to hide it, the distress was evident in his voice.
(Y/N) gave him a reassuring smile. She knew that, even after the long process of recovery, he still worried about her. “You’re not backing up, love,” she teased.
He gave her a playful eyeroll in response. “We had a very intense day on that “adventure” with Scorp. I don’t even know why did I ever think that was a good idea. I don’t want you to strain yourself too much,” he said, holding her closer to him.
“You thought that was a good idea because you’re the best father ever,” she noted matter-of-factly, “and I’m not strained and we’re going to have a good time.”
“Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N) – Malfoy,” Headmistress McGonagall greeted them at the door.
(Y/N) smiled softly. After healer Malfoy had deemed her healthy for his standards, they had gotten married. It was a very intimate wedding with their closest friends and family in the gardens of Malfoy manor. They had adopted each other’s last name and made a point to be referred to as such.
“Where shall we seat, headmistress?” Draco asked.
“Wherever you see fit. No houses today,” she answered excitedly.
As they entered to the Great Hall, the couple was greeted with hugs and cheers. If someone had told eighteen years old Draco he’d have such a reception in his alma mater, he would’ve laughed. Through the years, though, most people had changed their perceptions of him. He was healer Malfoy, who would stay afterhours if it meant some comfort to his patients. He was the Malfoy heir who’d hand out donations for different charities without ulterior motives. He was a friend to a lot of his former “enemies”. He was Scorpius’ proud father and (Y/N)’s loving husband. Draco had finally redeemed himself and could walk through Hogwarts with his head high, even if it triggered some very unhappy memories.
Hermione was the first one to spot them. She waved at them and soon they were surrounded by the Potter-Granger-Weasley clan on the far end of the Ravenclaw table. (Y/N) spotted Luna and Rolf Scammander on the same table, as well as Hannah and Neville and Pansy, Blaise and Daphne. On the other side of the room, from the Slytherin table, Astoria and Theo smiled at them. From the Hufflepuff table, Ernie waved at her. He was sitting with Cho, Justin and Susan. She also spotted Seamus with his husband Dean, talking to the Parvati twins and Lavender Brown. (Y/N) felt like she was living one of those happy endings from the muggle movies they would occasionally watch. Sitting by her husband, surrounded by her friends, no fear and nothing but good news on their way. It was all a bit unreal, in the best possibly way.
By midnight, Harry and Headmistress McGonagall had delivered the speeches, they drank a toast to the fallen and the feast was already over. People were already leaving and those who remained were laughing and remembering their days at Hogwarts.
“Come with me,” Draco whispered in (Y/N)’s ear.
“Where?”
“Trust me,” he answered with a smirk.
They said goodbye to their friends and left the Great Hall. (Y/N) thought they would apparate back home, but Draco surprised her by pulling her towards the stairs. Her smile grew wide as she realized they were on the fourth floor and walking towards that windowsill that marked their lives forever.
They stood there, quietly for a second. Draco then climbed on it and opened his arms for her. (Y/N) chuckled before sitting with him. His embrace was gentler than ever. He had always treated her with care, but after the assault it had become ten times more delicate. As their limbs tangled together, as they did every day now, (Y/N) remembered more than ever that day fourteen years ago.
“Draco!” Narcissa’s voice was firm, but loaded with fear.
“Son, where are you?” Lucius seemed desperate.  
Draco and (Y/N) were watching the sunrise, cuddling together. He was playing with one of her locks. At the sound of the voices he could distinguish very well, they – very much unwillingly – untangled their stiff limbs. He climbed down the windowsill and she stretched her arms. He found her adorable and for a second there he couldn’t believe they had snuggled all night long.
They looked at each other, like recognizing themselves for the first time. Draco thought that he might find rejection in her eyes, but he only found tenderness. And tenderness he gave back. (Y/N) was overwhelmed by such a strange mix of feelings. There she had the one and only Draco Malfoy, resident bully and death eater, smiling to her, watching her as though she was the most precious woman on earth. She felt like she should hate him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. One night of caresses and silent conversations had given her a whole new perspective on Draco and she wanted more of it.
As the voices came nearer, (Y/N) moved her hand to his hair. She smoothed it. Her touch was appeasing.
“Hey, Malfoy,” she said, a cheeky smile on her face.
“Yes?”
“I don’t hate you.” It sounded stupid once she said it, but it was also liberating somehow.
He smiled genuinely. “I don’t hate you too, (Y/L/N)”.
Soon, the elder Malfoys found the two teenagers holding hands. Narcissa eyed them carefully. Hadn’t she been so worried about Draco’s wellbeing, she would’ve smiled at such a heartwarming scene.
“Draco, let’s go,” Lucius called, his voice wavering.
Draco stood up straighter. He nodded subtly at (Y/N) and walked to his parents, ready to leave. The three Malfoys disappeared down the corridor, leaving (Y/N) to deal with the butterflies in her stomach. She turned around to face the sunrise again, wondering what she’d say to her friends.
As Draco walked with his parents, he couldn’t conceal the smile on his face.
“Who is she?” Lucius asked.
“She’s just a friend,” he answered, trying to be nonchalant.
“Yeah, just a friend,” Narcissa teased.
Draco stopped on his tracks. His parents looked at him, mocking smiles on their faces.
“Wait a minute, okay?” He hadn’t finished saying this and his feet were already taking him back to (Y/N).
“Hey! Long time no see,” she taunted as he stood, once again, in front of her.
“Would you give me your address? To owl you?” he asked hesitantly. 
It warmed her heart to see him so disarmed and clumsy. She conjured paper and a quill out of thin air and copied her address. They looked at each affectionately. Draco leaned forward, their noses almost touching.
“Are we friends?” he blurted out. He cringed inwardly at how desperate that must have sounded.
(Y/N) closed the gap between them. It was a little awkward and incredibly sweet, just their lips touching, moving in synch at a very slow pace. (Y/N)’s hand travelled to his cheek, his fingers crawled to her hair. (Y/N) smiled into the kiss as she felt electricity running around them. Draco’s heart was about to leap off his chest.
When they pulled away, Draco pecked her lips softly a couple of times again until she giggled.
“Friends,” (Y/N) agreed happily.
“So, we really had our first kiss right here,” Draco said in awe.
“Are we friends?” (Y/N) mocked.
He placed a kiss on her temple. “Merlin, I don’t know, darling. What do you think?” his dashing smile warmed (Y/N)’s heart.
“Well, honey, I really hope we are. I don’t want to be running the (Y/L/N) – Malfoy quidditch team on my own,” she said. This was definitely not the way she wanted to break the news to him, but she figured it was more in their style.
It took Draco no time to register what she had said. He looked at her wide-eyed, completely at a loss for words.
“Seriously?” he asked, happy tears welling his eyes.
(Y/N) nodded vigorously. “No, no tears, my love. We’re very happy today,” she said as she sat up to caress both of his cheeks.
“I’m so happy, (Y/N),” he whispered and gently brought his hand to her belly.
They were soon cuddling again, waiting for the sunrise and feeling pure unaltered bliss.
A/N: This is the end. I hope you liked it! I really couldn’t kill reader, movie be damned. If you’ve reached this far, I really want to thank you. Thank you all for giving me love and support, for reading, liking, rebloging and commenting. Thank you for being kind to me. 
My birthday is on Thursday (6 days after Draco omg) so I think I’ll be taking the rest of the week for myself and start posting again over the weekend. If anyone wants me to tag them in my next endeavours (a Draco x reader mini series from a request, a Draco x reader one shot and a Theo x reader one shot) just tell me! 
My inbox is open for messages, requests, rants and any conversation you want to have. 
Lastly, I’d like to say two things: 
1. Trans women are women. We can enjoy the Harry Potter’s books, make sense of them whichever way we want them to, but we cannot take the authorship from J.K. Rowling. We must realize who she is and why she wrote what she wrote. 
2. Black lives matter
Have a happy day and a happy life. 
110 notes · View notes
winchest09 · 4 years
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The Bunker Party - Debrief
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Hey peeps! 
Our latest bunker party was just amazing. My cheeks and my stomach still hurt from laughing...Supernatural seriously does have THEE best fandom and I’m so glad to be a part of it. 
6 and a half hours we were hanging out for…SIX AND A HALF! But to see so many beautiful faces, hear so many lovely voices and to spend time with new people was just a dream!  The support from you guys for each other, the love in this fandom; I can’t express how much I adore it.
Me and @katehuntington​ love holding these events and we are already planning the next live stream (date to be announced) but it will be in August.
So...to the debrief!
Below you will find:
Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.
Announcements - a juicy one this time!
Challenges to join
Blogs who want to help with your writing
Want a link breaker?
Fic & blog recs
So without further ado… *cracks fingers*
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You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is.  So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat last night accompanied by their masterlist and what they have coming up soon!  For your reading pleasure and in no particular order…
@katehuntington​: The new chapter of Ride with Me is out NOW and she is currently working on the next instalment. The Sullivan Series is now scheduled to be posted every FRIDAY so keep your eyes peeled for that and she is going to be finishing All I Want soon too! 
Her masterlist can be found HERE
@flamencodiva​: This babe is currently working on a multitude of things and we are in awe every time she tells us what she has on. She has FINISHED the epilogue of Getting Back To You. She’s working on the next part of What He Lost, What He Found as well as When You Fall. She also has Call of the Ocean and drabbles that are exclusive to her patreon! 
Check out her masterlist HERE
@talesmaniac89​:  This beaut has been working a lot on editing images lately, making aesthetics and dividers for everyone to use! Besides that, she has a new chapter of The Man in Apartment 43 coming out. The next chapter of Missing in Action as well as the next one of Lost. 
She is also working on a Benny/Dean oneshot!
She’s created a fake website called HunT and is creating a social media AU set in the universe. The whole story will be told through text messages and emails. It’s NOT one to miss!  
Check her out guys, her masterlist is HERE
@whatareyousearchingfordean​: Alex is currently writing her next two fictions! With Happiness Begins finished (previously Et Cetera) she has a sequel in the works...as well as her Firefighter Dean AU.  From what we’ve already heard…it sounds amazing! I won’t give away any plot points that we were told just yet but it’s one to be put on your watch list!
Her masterlist can be found HERE
@superfanficnatural​:  This babe is currently working on the next chapters of The Bringer of balance as well as the next chapters of The Choice! He now has a Mafia AU fic in the works and will be collaborating with Alex (whatyousearchingfordean) on “Heavy lies the crown) a Male reader fiction! 
We’re living for it!
Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE
@deanwanddamons​: This absolute sweetheart is working on a few things at the moment and I have been given a sneak peak at what her talented little mind is cooking up. The next part of Baby Spoon will be gracing your eyes soon enough as well as updates to the rest of her series...The Show Must Go On anyone? ;) 
Her masterlist can be found HERE
@emoryhemsworth​: This beaut has broken her lil hiatus and posted the sequel to Because of You. Piece by Piece is amazing and if you haven’t read it yet, i suggest you check it out. She’s also writing her first chapter of her series called “Losing Sleep” as well as a TWD crossover fic! 
Check our her masterlist HERE:
@waywardbeanie​: This absolute gem of a woman is working on her very first fanfiction called “A Man Of Letters” and it’s an absolute DIAMOND. Dean. Letters. Fluff. Smut. It’s gonna tick all them boxes and it’s a must read!
You can find her masterlist HERE
@janicho88​: This lovely lady is working on some absolute winners at the minute. We have Love on the Sidelines that’s coming up as well as the next part of Come Back To Me! 
You can find her masterlist HERE
@soaringeag1e​: This lovely lady has a lovely full masterlist of things for you to dig your teeth into! There are series, oneshots for Jensen, Dean, Jared, Sam, Misha, Castiel…her new series “Escape” is an absolute MUST READ.
You can find her masterlist HERE
@smol-and-grumpy​: Nat has such a juicy masterlist. We were thrilled sto see her in our livestream again. She has just finished Light My Fire and is posting the eye candy that is Euphoria! Also keep your eyes out for a few oneshots coming your way soon...
You can find her masterlist HERE
@jensengirl83​: Brandy is an absolute doll and we adore her. She is still relatively new to SPN fanfic but that doesn’t stop her from dominating it! She has over twenty oneshots under her belt already!  What he lost, Prom Queen, Letter To Lisa, and Return to Sender are a few you must check out! 
You can find her masterlist HERE
@alleiradayne​: She is new to our bunker party this week and we absolutely adored having her there! She has been participating in a charity auction for writers (info below) in which she has been writing a commissioned piece as well as outlining a new series which is going to be quote long apparently! But we are SO there for it. 
You can find her masterlist HERE:
@mariekoukie6661​: Marie has a quite a few things on her masterlist going from SPN to Marvel so definitely some goodies for you to feast your eyeballs on! 
You can find her masterlist HERE:
Me: The latest chapter of Life for Rent is out NOW and I’m currently working on the next one, which i’m half way through.  I’m also working on Man’s Best Friend as well as a brand NEW series which will be posted once one series is finished. I also have a couple of Dean oneshots I’m working on right now. 
My masterlist can be found HERE:
To the readers…
We want to thank you for your constant support, your feedback, your words, your reactions to what we write. Your likes, your reblogs, your asks. We appreciate every single thing you do. So thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you. 
Also, remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk about anything and everything. If you wish to start writing...give any of us a shout. We’re here to help! 
@leissa1287​ @teresa-67​ @jules-1999​  & the few nonnies we had!
Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3
Go and follow and give them some love!
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In this livestream, thanks to @alleiradayne​, we found out about a wonderful organisation called Ficfasers, an international fundraising group of authors and artists who love Supernatural. They offer thank yous to people who agree to donate to Random Acts by creating stories/art, crafts, and more for winning bidders and ticket buyers!
THIS IS AMAZING!
Unfortunately, it appears we JUST missed out on the June auction but we have been told there is another one around the holiday period!
Want to write for Charity? 
Check out their tumblr HERE
and their website HERE
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Follower achievements! 
Join me in congratulating these amazing blogs as they have surpassed or are close to a follower milestone! @waywardbeanie​ has past her first 100 followers!  
@emoryhemsworth​ is close to 750 followers!            
@talesmaniac89​ is close to 4000 (she may do a challenge...keep your eyes peeled!)   
@superfanficnatural​ has passed 450 followers! 
If you’re not following them already, head on over and show them your support! 
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Want to be the first to read new chapters of your favourite fics? 
 Some of our fabulous livestream participants have Patreon! 
For a small fee a month, you get personalised drabbles, oneshots as well as first dibs on new chapters before ANYONE else! Please consider giving them your support.
The links for each authors Patreon is below:
@smol-and-grumpy​ - Find hers HERE
@flamencodiva​ - Find hers HERE
@soaringeag1e​ - Find hers HERE
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Ooooooo we have FOUR challenges for you to get involved in! 
Firstly, the darling @flamencodiva​ is holding a celebration in regards to reaching 1700 followers!
Not only is she hosting a character take over on her blog she’s also posted a writing challenge for all us writers out there! This challenge is still ongoing!
Check it out HERE
Secondly, the wonderful @deanwanddamons​ & @impala-dreamer​ are holding a joint challenge. The “I Do Understand That Reference” Challenge.
Fancy guiding Sam, Dean or Cas through another French Mistake type event? Take a look at the movie list and get yourself signed up!
Check it out HERE
Thirdly, @smol-and-grumpy​ is holding a “Blogiversary” Challenge! It looks amazing with an array of prompts to choose from...head on over and join in!
Check it out HERE
Last, but definitely not least, @alleiradayne​ is holding a challenge in celebration of passing 1000 followers! It’s called “The Summer Shut-in” and it looks fantastic. 
Again, lost of prompts to choose from and still time to do it. What you waiting for?
Check it out HERE
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We’ve got you covered!
Need to hash out a plot with someone?
The lovely @malfoysqueen14​ has offered herself up to be a plot buddy to anyone that needs it. Stuck on a plot point, want to talk through a story line with someone? Give her a message! She’s here to help <3
Need help with research for a fiction?
The most wonderful @waywardbeanie​ has offered herself up to be a researcher for anyone who wants help with their fiction. She has been a die hard SPN fan forever and she’s like the Ellen of our live stream.
Need a researching buddy? Give her a message! She’s a doll <3
Please note: we’re all super friendly and we’re all here to help you in any way we can, we’re all here to help you! 
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Need a new aesthetic? Line divider? We got you!  Our fabulously talented @talesmaniac89​​ has drawn up so MANY supernatural themed line breakers, headers and more for your free usage!
Just look at some of these!
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She has a few posts full already! 
Check them out HERE! 
Give them a like, a reblog and please THANK HER if you use her work. She’s the most kind hearted, loving soul and a few words go a long way <3
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In our live stream, we want to highlight what we’ve been reading and the amazing authors behind the words. So below is a list of all the fics that we recommend for some good ol fic binging!
Fic Recs
Long Way Home by @supersleepygoat​ Pairing: Dean x Reader
Summary:  The Reader moves back to Sioux Falls after college to take care of the home front while Bobby travels for the summer. She is hoping for a quiet place to avoid her past and figure out her broken future. Instead, she finds new complications when she falls for her neighbour.
She also has some lovely Sammy goodness...you can check that out HERE
Business or Pleasure by @snffbeebee​ Pairing: Alex x reader/ Jensen x reader (eventual)
Summary:  Y/N is a new cast member of the Supernatural family and finds herself caught in between Business and Pleasure..It’s not always a good thing to get into but she thinks it might just be worth it!
The Woodsman by @thecleverdame​
Pairing:  Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader
Summary: A/B/O Fairy Tale - You’re a sheltered, thirty-something princess on the run from your brother, the newly crowned ‘Mad King’ of France. When you’re waylaid by marauders and left for dead in the forest, a gruff woodsman nurses you back to health.
The Oath by @thecleverdame​​
Pairing: Dark!Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader
Summary: After an unsuccessful escape attempt, the reader finds herself taken as a spoil of war. She ends up in the bed of a ruthless Alpha, the son of John Winchester, leader of the kingdom of Gilead. She struggles to conceal her true identity and navigate a society where being an Omega means nothing more than serving at the pleasure of powerful men.
Tic Tac Toe by @percywinchester27​​
Pairing:  Sam X Reader
Summary:  The reader shifts into a new city after being offered a dream job by a big firm. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect after an ugly break-up with a douche-bag Ex. But things turn out not as dreamy as she’d want them to be and the only thing that keeps her smiling is a totally coincidental game of Tic Tac Toe.
Doc and Sir by @crashdevlin​
Pairing: Sam x Reader
Summary: N/A 
King and Pet by @crashdevlin​
Pairing: Sam x Plus-sized!Reader
Summary: Y/n is very happy to be Dr. Winchester, happy to be Sam’s wife, but when Jack and Kaia send everyone into new universes, Doc is suddenly face-to-face with a very different ‘Sir’.
Cave Quid Optes by @crashdevlin​ Pairing: Dean x plus-sized!Reader,
Summary:  Everything is great in 2029. Everyone is happy, life is good. What could possibly go wrong?
Firefly by @jay-and-dean​ & @roonyxx​
Pairing: Future Dean x reader
Summary: 40 years in Hell, but he didn’t spend all this time all alone, he had her. Prepare to know what happened during those years Dean never talks about. To immerge yourself in Hell, only lit by the mysterious kid growing here…And to see some of your favorite villains again : Crowley, Lilith, Lucifer… And also Sammy and Jack…
Owe You One by @supernatural-jackles​
Pairing: Dean x Reader AU
Summary:  Dean Winchester has been your best friend and neighbour for the last year. A year of finding comfort in random drop ins and casual conversations, but neither of you know the pasts that the other has. Not fully. Pasts that come back to haunt you, and ruin everything you want in life. Can you find what you’re seeking in a couple of favours and a good time between the sheets or is history doomed to repeat itself?
Till Death Do Us Part? by @amanda-teaches​ Pairing: Dean x Reader Fake Engagement AU Summary:  At a work party with your best friend, Dean, you panic when your new boss asks if you’re couple. Lying to protect your promotion, you wind up fake engaged before you can take it back. When Dean agrees to go along with your lie for a weekend retreat, you end up finding something neither of you had bargained for: love.
With Wolves by @bamby0304​
Pairing:  Alpha!Dean, Alpha!Sam, Omega!Reader,
Summary:  Known as The Omen, your reputation puts fear in some of the most dangerous and deadly Alphas. So when you’re caught and sent to the worst maximum security facility unknown to man, no one expected an unclaimed Omega to walk through the gates in shackles and an orange jumpsuit. Word circulates, and before long there’s a price on your head. Who will claim the untamed Omega?
Blog Rec:
@idreamofplaid​: If you want some Sammy goodness...then this is a must follow blog! Her posts are to die for. 
@kittenofdoomage​:  Kitten has stories that just pull the reader in and gets them obsessed, completely original and fascinating stories.
@bamby0304​:  Bamby has an impeccable sense of plot and character development and she does it masterfully.
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I think that’s it!
Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 hours of laughs and i cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!
Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in a couple of weeks. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!
See you next time!
xox
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causticsunshine · 3 years
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twenty questions
tagged by @are-you-quite-finished-giovanna thank you babe!! 🥰
1. why did you choose your url?
simply put i adore louis and i like purple and it just rolled off the tongue lol, but i also had a list of possible urls i also liked and i had to snatch this one up while i could!
2. any side blogs?
yes i have four....i'm not one of those 'everything goes on main and you can deal with it' type people.... but i have an inspiration blog @prickelndauge (art insp, lots of fashion, cool photography), an art-only blog @swmpwxtch, one just for spooky/creepy content because i'm really into horror manga and scary movies and that kind of stuff but i keep it off of main because i know a lot of it can often be triggering to others! (i also don't post much there but @bonepickng) and one for art references, life tips, random resources, and more donation sharing @am-ref!
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
soooo long i thought i'd be gone by now tbh. i know i signed up in 2011 after just browsing the site through random blogs and tags for ages, but i didn't start actively using my own account until early 2012!
4. do you have a queue tag?
when i actually remember to tag things i have queued i'll use 'i'm sleep queue' because all my early morning posts everyday are queued....i am an insomniac rip
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
keeping up with my interests better! i was like 15/16 at the time so it made sense. back in Ye Olde Days much like now—i really have come full circle lmao—it was mostly just for 1d and then some random tv shows/franchises i just to see content of semi-often, as well as finding cool art!
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
rn it's just a regular pic of louis! as much as i like using my collages or little edits as my icons, you can't see much of anything and it looks too busy sometimes (but also the photo i have rn....i am always thinking thoughts about it soooo)
7. why did you choose your header?
it's pretty! i wanted everything to follow a color scheme + i love embroidery and fancy gowns!
8. what's your post with the most notes?
ok i thought it was gonna be one of my old larry chibi doodles because i know a few of them hit 1k+ notes, but i deleted those in 2017 and apparently now it's this 6 year old like....funky photo study i did of dan howell from 2015 when i still watched him and amazingphil a lot?? i mean at least it's something i was once proud of lmao....there's a few art posts i have with semi decent notes that i pretend i Do Not See
9. how many mutuals do you have?
i think rn 40 something so not very many, although i unfollowed a lot of people i was moots with when i left my last fanbase so that's probably why 😬 i've been meaning to check out more HL/ot5 people though!! i love mutual interaction but i'm afraid of being annoying if i'm any degree of attentive
10. how many followers do you have?
overall i have almost 2.4k rn, but there's a decent amount that are totally inactive or at least don't interact with me so it feels like....a lot less lmao but since re-joining 1d i've already made up like all the people i lost when i left my other fanbase of almost three and more so thank you for actually liking my work and maybe me as well 🥺💗
11. how many ppl do you follow?
around 370 rn!
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is a shitpost fdngjkdf like my tags are bad enough lmao, no one needs to properly share the bs i have to say
13. how often do you use tumblr?
pretty regularly rn but there are times i'll go completely MIA depending on what i'm into/how busy i am!
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog?
in the past i have had some....issues with other people i've met on here but never directly had confrontation with them? most of the time that's happened i figure it's been one-sided though because i can get irritated with certain behavior really quickly—like i always say my heart is big and open but my bullshit tolerance is dangerously low—but when that's the case i'll just unfollow or block without saying anything?
although back in the day there was one instance (and seriously if anyone remembers this you deserve a medal because this shit was Ridiculous) where i kinda but not really called out another 1d fanartist who posted untagged noncon fanart they'd done of at least two of the boys, and then acted like it was no big deal (like. 1. those are irl people my dude and 2. untagged noncon art?? in front of my salad??) and their friends kept defending them for it and tried to come for me claiming i was a proponent of Purity Culture when i'm not and literally all i said in my post on it was that in my own opinion it was kinda fucked up to draw noncon art of real life people—not characters played by actors! but actual real people as themselves—in the first place, but if you felt the need to post highly triggering content like that the least you could do was tag it accordingly
but i think that was the last time properly so i guess times within this fanbase are still chaotic as ever just in a different way?
15. how do you feel about "you need to rb this" posts?
Annoyed™️ like don't guilt trip me over a post lmao i do what i want !!
16. do you like tag games?
YES i love to talk about myself after years of trying not to show any personality online out of fear of judgement dfjkngdf
17. do you like ask games?
yes! i want to do them more but i'm always afraid of reblogging one and then getting nothing and looking like a Fool :'(
18. which one of your mutuals is tumblr famous?
i guess i have a few moots that are kinda well-known or at least get good interaction within the community we're a part of? also isn't that phrase kind of an oxymoron at this point adfjkdf
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
not past platonic friendly affection lmao but honestly what is it like to have a realistic crush on an actual tangible person versus someone in the public eye who doesn't even know i exist.....it's been so long and i am so lonely please send help
20. tags?
@niallnailme @bolitodequeso @milkcurls @exzouis @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @got-my-devotion @aliensyndrome uhhh anyone who'd like to please consider yourself tagged by me! literally if there was an 'all my moots' button i'd just pick that lmao and as always no pressure/sorry if you've already done this and i haven't seen!
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caffeine-and-tears · 4 years
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John Laurens X M! S/o Pride headcanons
Character: John Laurens (Hamilton) x male reader! 
Type: Headcanons +moodboard
Triggers: Tear gas, protests, drinking, sexual innuendo, racism, homophobia
Word count: 1,117
General S/o
If you’re dating John Laurens you gotta be okay with cuddles
He the most cuddly boi ever (Please love him)
He’s definitely the type to hug you at random moments and ask for cuddles like John you’re adorable but the pancakes are burning
I feel like John is a sucker for simple domestic things. Seeing you fall asleep in his arms? Watching you make breakfast in your boxers? He will m e l t
He’s very affectionate! Random kisses are a big part of how he shows he loves you (Please tell him if you’re not okay with it the boi will understand)
If you’re the type to drown him in compliments please warn him! He might cry
Babe you know you mean the world to me? John.exe has stopped functioning
He can’t deal with it, he blushes every time
He won’t buy you a lot of stuff but he will 100% make you stuff! 
I hc John as a pretty great artist so expect a lot of drawings of you! 
If you’re the type to spoil him he will internally die every single time
Hey babe I got you that book about the American revolution you wanted! I would die for you
John loves going on adventurous dates or just general fun dates. He’s the type to go skydiving with you if you let him. Or maybe just a theme park! (If you go to Disney with the boi he will beg you to go on all the roller coasters and will try to buy all the stuffed animals I don’t make the rules)
But if you prefer more tame dates that’s fine! I mean he loves coffee shops and movie nights as much as the next guy. And to share it with the most handsome man? Who could ever say no? 
He might fall asleep if you’re doing a movie night though.
His southern drawl comes out when he’s sleepy so like, enjoy horny bastards
But like seriously early morning/ late is usually when things go down (usually you) 
(I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself) 
He’s 100% more cuddly when he’s sleeping. He will not let go! Especially if you’re warm (And if you’re the type to kick in your sleep he will still hang on)
You’ll wake up with his face nuzzled in your neck while he begs you for just 5 more minutes, please????
He is a blanket burrito kinda guy. He’s usually v cold so he uses it as an excuse to get affection. Babe, I’m freezing only kisses will warm me up 
He doesn’t sleep too late, 12 am is basically his limit and if you stay awake longer he will pout until you join him. 
C u d d l e  h i m
And don’t try to stay up late! He will force you into bed by 1 am, he’s gotten a lot of practice with getting Alex into bed he is really good.
John is a pretty deep sleeper like you’ll have to work hard to wake him up. You can try tickling, just basic shoving, and if nothing else works play All-star very loudly. (If you can get him off you that is-)
Or you can make him breakfast! 
Speaking of breakfast (Great segue) it’s the only food John really knows how to cook. He can’t make pasta but you’ll find him snacking on waffles at 8 am.
If you know how to cook then teach the boi !!! He’ll hang on to every word you say and John no you don’t have to take notes. Please don’t leave him in the kitchen alone though if he’s trying something new, not after the sprinkle incident- (*Lightning strikes dramatically in the background*)
If you don’t know how to cook its fine y’all could learn together! I mean all the google recipes didn’t turn out so well and you had to invite Laf and Herc over to teach you but still!
He does like baking though! 
Well only chocolate chip cookies
Fine only cookie dough
Oh, you thought Hamilton was extreme? Well, meet John brings-up-the genocide-of-the-natives-at-a-children’s-party Laurens!
He’s going to be so busy caring about everything going on the world except himself
Please take care of him! 
He goes to every protest and puts himself in front of anyone being harassed by cops It’s better me than them they get enough of that shit
Pack him googles or protective eyewear!!! 
He’s gotten tear-gassed so many times-
You’ve found him crying over news report after news report multiple times
Remind him that it’s okay to unplug for a bit! He will burn himself out emotionally if you don’t.
Going to pride
John isn’t the type to dress up normally but like Does this outfit have enough rainbows babe? I wanna piss off the homophobes
Pray for the homophobes who give you shit what the hell did you just call my boyfriend????
He doesn’t care he will 100% fight them 
(If you want to stop John from being charged with assault pull him into a kiss! It’s a win/win scenario the Homophobe gets even more pissed off and he gets kisses!)
Y’all visit a booth with rainbow plushies and OH MY GOD THERE’S A RAINBOW TURTLE CAN WE BUY IT PLEASE
He names the turtle after you and gets Herc to make it clothes  (Exclusively turtlenecks, John likes puns okay) 
After going to a parade John would like to tour a bunch of queer bars with you! He loves how lively they are and the sense of community! (Plus he won’t pass up booze, ever)
If you don’t drink/ don’t like bars that fine too! Y’all could cuddle while watching Love Simon he doesn’t mind! (He will cry though, every time)
Celebrating pride at home
I hc that John has a Tumblr he uses to educate himself and others about multiple issues but during pride month it’s all about LGBT issues!
You’ll find him in the living room reading an 80-page pdf and you’re like ??? Oh yeah I asked Alex for his resources on the Bathroom bill-he got excited’
He will try out some rainbow themed recipes! (Again he doesn’t know how to cook so please make sure he doesn’t poison himself!)
Will 100% tweet about how cute you are constantly (he does that usually he just is a lil extra gayer during pride month)
You will be using Youtube/Netflix party to binge-watch Thomas’s sanders and Sense8 I don’t make the rules
He loves you so much! Every day he wakes up with you in his arms is a great one!
Take care of him please
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you so much for reading this! I’ll (try) to post something every day of pride month! (Complete with a moodboard). Okay but seriously I know we’re all happy because it’s pride but black people are still being murdered. I’ve reblogged several ways you can help including ways you can help if you can’t donate on my other blog @fight-me-i-dare-you-bro. 
Stay safe everyone
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youreverycolor · 4 years
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An Unlikely Love: Fight For It, Pt. 2 (Rafael Barba x Anna Stein)
AN: Prompt #43 from 200 Prompts from @drink-it-write-it (“Do you believe in soulmates?” – “No.” – “Oh, well, that’s a shame, because I’m it. I’m your soulmate.”)
The conclusion of Fight For It. I hope you guys enjoy. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated. :)
Special thanks to @madpanda75, @thatesqcrush, and @misssirenlove for love, support, idea-bouncing, and generally being wonderful women.
Tagging: @danahart1 @nikkijmorgan @ele-esposito @dianilaws @sunnyfortomorrow @mommakat32 @lucifersadvisor @gibbs274 @oliviamariathegirl @evee87 @tropes-and-tales @garturbo @delia26 @neely1177 @jennisdirtyimagines @lostintech0011001 @letty-o @lucifersadvisor @sunnyfortomorrow @literallyprentissstwin @gibbs274 @dianilaws
Song: "Ours” by Taylor Swift
~*~*~*~
There was nearly a decade between Amanda Rollins and Anna Stein, but they could easily be mistaken for sisters, only a year or two apart. Of all the squad members, Anna was closest with Olivia, and so she might have asked if the lieutenant could use some time away from work, but she thought better of it. Olivia was Rafael’s best friend, after all, and he would probably want to talk to her over the course of the week. However, since the party he had thrown to celebrate Anna’s first semester grades, Amanda and Anna had also formed a fast friendship. Amanda was a lot of fun and up for anything without needing an explanation, as Liv might have asked for. As it turned out, she also had a copious amount of vacation time saved up. So, she bribed Carisi into taking Jesse for the week—with the use of her sitter for the daytime—and told Olivia a slight fib about a “family emergency back home.” By Tuesday night, she and Anna were on a plane headed to Tennessee.
Originally, Anna had suggested Vegas, but Amanda—a recovering gambling addict—quickly countered with Nashville. Anna had never been there, but Amanda said she would love it: all the fun of Vegas bars without the price tag, and the added bonus of hot cowboys. Amanda knew Nashville like the back of her hand; she had graduated from Middle Tennessee State University. The college was only about thirty miles from downtown Nashville, and Amanda and her friends frequently went into the city on weekends. So she knew exactly where to go and what to do, and Anna was more than happy to let her lead the way.
Although in some ways, Amanda had become a hardened New Yorker, she quickly reverted to her roots after only a day in Tennessee. She took Anna along for the ride, converting the native Californian to a Southern belle. During the days, they visited the Parthenon, Music Row, and the Country Music Hall of Fame. They took walks along the riverfront and even went to the Grand Ole Opry. Amanda had done most of these things already, but she was content to do them again with her friend, who clearly needed the distraction.
At night, they teased their blonde hair (Amanda joked that “the higher the hair, the closer to God”) and wore obscenely short denim skirts and cowboy boots while drinking on Honky Tonk Row. At some point, they found themselves in a karaoke bar, and Anna shocked the hell out of Amanda by singing the mysterious, little-known third verse of Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places.” They talked about their families and how much they missed them; Amanda’s mother and sister had moved back to Atlanta and she rarely got to see them, while all of Anna’s family still lived in Los Angeles, where she also had lived until four years ago. But all the while, Anna did not bring up Rafael once, and Amanda didn’t ask about him.
But by dinner on Monday, Amanda’s curiosity got the better of her. They were sitting at a bar nursing vodka tonics and eating the best burgers Anna had ever had, when Amanda asked, “So, since we’re scheduled to fly out tomorrow morning, you gonna tell me why we came?”
“Sorry?”
“Well, as much fun as this trip has been—”
“So much fun!” Anna said. “It’s honestly been the best girls’ trip I’ve ever taken.”
Amanda smiled. “I’m glad you had fun, but I have to ask…”
Anna set her burger down in favor of a sip of her drink. “I don’t want to make it weird for you when you have to deal with him at work,” she said. “It really wasn’t that big of a deal anyway.”
“Okay, first off,” Amanda began, “unless you’re telling me about whatever weird kinks Barba has in the sack, nothing you could say would make me feel weird around him. And second, it must have been a pretty big deal for you to want to get out of the damn state for a week.”
“Maybe I just wanted to do something fun over spring break with a friend,” Anna replied, avoiding eye contact.
Amanda raised an eyebrow. “You know I’m a detective, right?”
Anna laughed. “You and, like, half my other friends.” She put her face in her hands and then turned on her bar stool toward Amanda and told her the whole story, starting with Rafael’s Spanish-laced tirade when he arrived home to the moment he stormed back out. Amanda listened quietly the entire time, the same as she did when investigating a case. Her face betrayed nothing—no doubt a skill she learned in her gambling days.
When Anna finally finished, Amanda took a deep breath. “You know, I can’t say any of this surprises me.”
Anna raised her eyebrows. “What?”
Amanda downed the last of her vodka. “Well, let me start by saying that you did the right thing getting out of there. A lot of women would’ve hung around waiting for him to get home. Took a lot of guts to do what you did.”
“What, run away?”
“You planning to go back?”
“Of course,” Anna said, a little taken aback.
“Then you didn’t run away. You decided that for the good of your relationship, you needed to take some time for yourself. No shame in that.”
Anna took a moment to process this. “It really was a stupid fight,” she finally said.
“Yeah,” Amanda agreed. “But, you know, all couples fight. At least you’re fighting about stupid things than about, I don’t know, whatever the hell my old partner, Nick, and his wife used to fight about.”
“I guess,” Anna said.
Amanda put her hand on top of Anna’s. “Anna, look at me.” Anna looked up, pushing a wisp of her hair away from her eyes. “You’ve gotta understand, Barba has been alone for a long time. And take it from me, when you’re alone that long, you get used to thinking you’re right all the time because there’s no one telling you otherwise.”
“I get that, but maybe we’re just too different. Maybe he’s been alone too long. Maybe I don’t take things seriously enough. Maybe it’s just too—”  
Amanda held up her hands. “Look, I get it. He’s a stubborn pain in the ass. Hell, he’s hard to work with, so I can’t imagine living with him. You’ve got a pretty big age gap, and you’re both really busy with work and school. So I would completely understand if you decided you weren’t right for each other.” Then she softened her voice. “But I told you once before, I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. And when I asked if you were planning to go back, you looked at me like I was nuts for even asking that question. That says something to me.”
Suddenly, the bartender came over with two shots of whiskey. “From the gentlemen down that way,” he said, gesturing to two young, extremely handsome men sitting at the end of the bar.
Anna and Amanda looked at the men, then at each other. “You wanna go talk to ‘em?” Amanda asked, a sly grin on her face.
Anna hesitated for a second, looked at the men again, and then took out her phone. “Give me a second.” A minute later, she put it away and grabbed one of the shot glasses. “Okay. Ready.”
They clinked their glasses, tapped them on the bar, and downed the shots. “Sisters, right?” Amanda asked, referring to their cover story.
Anna hopped off her barstool and the two of them linked arms. “Sisters.”
***
Rafael was miserable.
Anna had only texted him twice a day since she’d landed in Nashville the previous Tuesday: once in the morning, and once at night. It was largely the same message every time: good morning or goodnight, and that she hoped he had a good day. He appreciated that, despite her anger, she at least wanted him to know that she was safe. And he wanted to give her the space she had clearly demanded, so he didn’t message more than that. He wasn’t a jealous man who needed to know what his girlfriend was doing every minute of the day, after all. Anna had gone on a handful of trips with her friends over the course of their relationship. That wasn’t what bothered him. What bothered him was that this time, she did it to get away from him rather than to get away with other people. That made all the difference. He trusted Anna implicitly. But every night, after he’d finally dragged himself home to bed, his brain went to a dark place where she met some stranger in Nashville, some ridiculous cowboy, who made her realize that he wasn’t worth the effort.
And because of what? A damn pen.
The day after she left, he threw them all out.
He felt like a bachelor again, but this time it wasn’t self-imposed. Nevertheless, he had reverted to his bachelor ways, working as much as he could until the wee hours of the morning. On Thursday and Friday mornings, Carmen had found him asleep on his office couch in the same clothes he’d worn the previous day. He worked right through the weekend, up until Sunday night. The good news was that he actually seemed to have caught up on a good deal of his backlogged work. The bad news was that he couldn’t even enjoy the spoils because he had no one to enjoy them with.
He had lunch with Olivia a couple of times and didn’t mention what was going on. She noticed something was off, but he deflected, saying he just hadn’t slept well that week. It wasn’t a lie.
Since he had gotten caught up with work that week, he decided to take Monday off. He cleaned out his closet, donating a bunch of clothes he hadn’t worn in a year. Anna had said more than once that she wanted to get a rain shower head, so he went out and bought one and installed it. Carisi came over with Jessie and a pizza that evening. Rafael had never been comfortable around children, but he had to admit that watching Carisi play with Jesse made him want to participate. So he and the detective and Amanda’s daughter colored and ate pizza—and for a minute, he forgot about being alone. Then, he got the nightly text from Anna, and was reminded all over again that she wasn’t going to be next to him in bed.
By Tuesday, he was climbing the walls. Work was the only thing he knew would take his mind off of the long wait until she arrived back home, so he threw himself into it that day. He had to give his phone to Carmen so that he wouldn’t be tempted to check it every ten seconds. She gave him a weird look but took it anyway. When three o’clock hit, he gathered his things to head home. Anna’s flight was due in at four, and he wanted to be there when she got home so that he could tell her what he’d failed to tell her before she left.
***
The light in the bedroom was on when he got home. For a split second, he was terrified—was there an intruder? And would his briefcase be enough to knock said intruder unconscious? But then he noticed the suitcase against the wall adjacent to the living room.
His heart raced. She must have gotten back early.
He found her in the master bathroom putting her toiletries away. She was wearing old, beat-up jeans and a t-shirt, and her hair was in a messy ponytail, but to Rafael, she had never looked more beautiful. He stood watching her for just a second, breathless. He worried if he said anything that it wouldn’t come out right. The last conversation they had turned out terribly.
But as soon as she turned her blue eyes up and locked onto the green of his, words were the last thing on either of their minds.
She flew at him, leaping into his arms and knocking him backwards onto the bed. She kissed him everywhere; on his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, and, finally, finally, his mouth. He kissed her so deeply that he thought he might actually be able to drink her. She tasted like mint and smelled like ripe peaches. She had come back to him in a flood of living memories. She had come back to him, period.
He finally pulled back to look her in the eyes again, his own wet with tears. “Te amo,” he said. “Te amo, mi corazón.” He repeated it like a prayer, so many times that he worried it lost meaning, but to Anna, nothing ever sounded better.
Rafael made love to Anna for the next two hours, and every time he moaned her name, “I love you” wasn’t far behind.
After they were both finally spent, they lay under a throw blanket on the bedroom carpet; at some point in their lovemaking, Anna actually rolled off the bed and they just continued there, laughing and kissing all at once. She told Rafael about her trip and all the things she and Amanda had seen and done. He hung on every word. But there was one more story she had to tell, and she hoped that when he heard it, he would understand why she reacted the way she did when he arrived home.
“So,” she said, “I don’t think I mentioned, we had a cover story on this trip that we were sisters. We didn’t use our own names with anyone we met the entire time. It was like being undercover. So last night—”
He laughed. “Okay, I have to know. What was your UC name?”
“I was Ariel and Amanda was Aurora.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “You seriously used Disney princess names?”
“Well, if you’re gonna go UC, no better cover than a mermaid and a narcoleptic princess, right?”
“Does that mean I get to be Eric?” When she gaped at him, he said, “We’ve been together for over a year. I think you underestimate how much Disney trivia I’ve picked up in that time.”
She drew in a deep breath and focused her eyes on his. “So, as I was saying, last night, we were having dinner and two really hot cowboys sent us shots of whiskey.”
He sat up slightly, alarmed. “Okay, why are you telling me—”
“Because you need to hear this,” she said, pushing him back down and propping herself up on her elbow. “Amanda wanted to go talk to them. And we ended up having a really good conversation. It was a lot of fun.” He looked stricken, and she softened her expression. “Raf, you know nothing happened, right?”
“Of course I know that,” he said, although he was glad for the confirmation. “I just—it’s not that I don’t want you to go on trips with your friends. But this time…I guess I wish I could have been there with you.”
She smiled and kissed his shoulder. “You were, Raf. That’s what I was trying to tell you.”
He furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”
“Right before we went to talk to them? That was when I texted you goodnight. Because I wanted to make sure I said goodnight before you went to bed—whenever the hell that was this week. I didn’t want to do it late and have you wonder if I’d forgotten you.”
He felt tears welling in his eyes again. “Anna, I never would have thought that.”
“Even still. You were on my mind every night and every morning. I wasn’t just texting you to let you know I was safe. I wanted you to know that no matter what happens, no matter where I am or how things are between us, I’m always thinking of you. And,” she added, “I’ll always come home to you.”
He sat up and wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck, into her hair, and brought his lips to hers. When he pulled back, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”
She pressed her forehead to his. “I’m sorry, too.” Then, she grabbed his watch from the nightstand above them. “I know it’s not our usual date night, but I could sure as hell use dinner and a movie right now. How about you?”
He smiled at her and ran a hand along her hip, memorizing the curves. “Sure,” he said. “I’ll even let you pick the movie.”
***
Anna wiped away her tears, which had been flowing for the last twenty minutes. After they’d eaten, she and Rafael had settled in to watch her favorite movie, What Dreams May Come. The plot was simple: the two main characters, Chris and Annie, lose their children in a horrible car accident. Annie has a mental breakdown and is institutionalized until she and Chris manage to rebuild their lives. But four years later, Chris also dies. His afterlife is beautiful, and he is reunited with his children. But when Annie commits suicide and is sent to hell, Chris journeys there to save her.
Even though Anna had seen it a thousand times, watching the two characters reunited at the end of the movie never failed to turn her into a weeping mess. She didn’t even try to hide it. “God,” she said, “That scene where they’re in Hell and he’s about to join her there and—Raf? Are you okay?”
Unlike Anna, Rafael preferred people think he was born without tear ducts. But there was no mistaking the sound of his sniffling next to her. “I’m fine,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.
She leaned over and turned the end table light on. As her eyes adjusted, she caught him wiping his cheek with his shirt sleeve. “You’re crying!”
“I am not—”
“Yes, you are.” She handed him a Kleenex from the box she’d judiciously placed next to her before the movie started. He took it and blew his nose. “I warned you it was a gut-punch.”
“When you said it was a movie about soulmates, I think I expected, well, the usual tropes. I wasn’t prepared for something that seemed…realistic.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Almost the entire movie was set in heaven, and this is the one you’re calling realistic?”
“That’s not what I mean. Usually, movies make it seem like soulmates are perfect together and never fight and read each other’s minds. But come on, who gets that?”
She laughed. “People in movies.”
“Exactly,” he said. “People whose lives are literally scripted. But I don’t think our lives are predestined. For instance, I don’t think whatever higher power there is intended for you to be assaulted so that I could meet you.”
She cast her eyes downward. “Well, I’m glad to know that, because if that were the case, I’d think God was a huge asshole.”
He shifted on the couch to face her. “You want to know what part of the movie it was that got me?”
“Of course.”
He took a deep breath. “It was when they finally explained what their double-D anniversary was.” In the movie, Chris and Annie had a special anniversary; it commemorated the day they decided not to divorce after their children died and Annie had her breakdown.
“Oh, I know. When he told her not to give up—”
“No, it wasn’t that.” He cleared his throat. “When I first heard them described as soulmates, I was internally rolling my eyes. But then, we saw them suffering in two completely different ways. He pushed the pain away, and she collapsed under it.”
“Life’s like that,” she replied. “People react differently to things.”
“Yeah. But that’s what got me. They weren’t on the same wavelength at all. They didn’t just push through everything together like it was easy. They had to make an active decision to do it. When they chose to stay together, even after the gargantuan amount of suffering they went through…”
She pushed her hair over one of her shoulders and tilted her head. “So you do believe in soulmates now?”
“You know,” he said, “I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility. But like I said, I think soulmates aren’t people who are perfect together.” He took her hand. “I think they’re two people who aren’t perfect together—maybe even two people don’t even make sense together—but who make the choice every day to come back to each other. They fight, sometimes blow up, maybe don’t even speak to each other for a week, but they actively choose each other every day.”
She moved closer to him, tucking her legs underneath herself. “That sounds…very plausible.”
“Plausible,” he repeated with a chuckle. “In what world am I the romantic in this relationship?”
She grinned. “We can share the title.”
“I was thinking about the fight we had,” he said, pivoting so fast that Anna was worried he was shutting down on her again.
“Okay?”
“It was a nothing fight, but it turned into this big blow-up,” he continued. “A lot of couples would have let it get into their heads and make it into something about the relationship itself.”
She picked off a piece of lint from his shirt and smoothed the fabric over his shoulder. “Well, we’re not other couples.”
 He nodded. “And I know how people look at us when we’re out together. They see you, this beautiful, young, vibrant woman, and then they see me—”
“A handsome, distinguished, slightly silver fox?” she offered, gently touching his hair, the silver in it just beginning to show.
He smiled and put his hand on her cheek. The softness of her skin was like her generous heart: it never failed to amaze him. “The point is, despite what people think or say, or when life makes love hard, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we work at this, even through the hardest days, because we want to. We choose each other, every day—even if we need to go to other states to do it.” He winked at her.
She lifted his hand from her cheek and kissed his palm, her heart beating so hard it might have jumped out of her chest. “Are you saying…”
He didn’t complete her thought, but he didn’t have to. She knew the answer when he gave her that half-smile she loved so much. It made him look like a man much younger than his years, almost timid, a little mischievous. “I know, I just destroyed my grumpy, cynical persona. Don’t tell the squad; I have a reputation to keep up.”
For a minute, he was afraid that she would think he was silly or—worse—being disingenuous. But then he caught her eyes with his, and they were sparkling. She crawled from her spot on the couch into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You know, in the movies, this would be when the boy asks the girl to marry him,” she laughed.
He pulled her to him, so that their lips almost touched. “Well, we’re not other couples,” he said, just before he closed the gap between them.
***
Two weeks later, Anna had fallen asleep on the couch hours ago while she was reading and he was reviewing case files. He couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t fallen asleep when she read on the couch. She would lay with her legs stretched across his lap and he would run his hands along her calves, sometimes massaging them if she’d had a particularly hard day at the diner. She thought it was for her benefit, but the truth was, he loved doing it. Knowing he could relax her into sleep just with the touch of his hands was an intimacy he loved even more than sex. And so it was that he found himself lifting her legs off of his lap carefully, trying not to wake her. Mercifully, she was a heavy sleeper. It would probably be a struggle to get her into bed later on. For now, he decided to just change into pajamas and do the rest of his work in the home office. But there was something he wanted to do first.
The fight they’d had was a turning point. It had been a result of nothing more than mishandled stress on both of their parts. It hadn’t been anything deeper than that. But it had scared him more than any other argument they had ever had. She had gone away on trips before that, but he hadn’t been lonely. Their apartment still felt like their home because he knew she would be back. But when she’d been away with Amanda that week, he had been afraid she would realize she was happier away from him. So their home had temporarily transformed into just a place to keep his stuff. It didn’t feel comfortable. It didn’t feel warm. It just felt like four walls he slept in. Waking up without her was excruciating, as was knowing he would have to fall asleep without her there. He’d missed her laughter, her smile, the way he could smell her shampoo for hours after she’d left the bed. He’d missed seeing her body wash next to his in the shower.
He had missed her legs on his lap.
He crept into the bedroom and turned on the nightstand light, the dimmest in the room, so as not to wake her from afar. Then he went into the closet and opened one of the drawers. She never went into his closet, saying that she was afraid she would get lost under a pile of ties and vests, never to be seen again. He reached deep within the drawer, toward the back, and found what he was looking for.
Anna had joked that, in the movies, after a boy told a girl she was his soulmate, he would ask her to marry him. Although he had deflected the comment with a kiss, for just a heartbeat, he thought she had somehow tripped, fallen, and landed in his sock drawer. He had managed to compose himself, but now, his overstimulated, paranoid brain needed to make sure she hadn’t actually found what he was holding.
He looked over his shoulder, and then carefully opened the velvet box in his hand. The ring he had bought was still there, the question within it. All he had to do was choose a day to ask.
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bigskydreaming · 5 years
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LOL still not dead, obvsly! Yay!
Other than that, like, bare minimum threshold......loloollol. That’s all I got. That’s all that comes out when I try and describe like....life. lololoololol, that’s all, folks, take it or leave it, lmfao.
No but srsly, some day soon hopefully I will be like. Fully present. And mildly interesting again. As opposed to like, my current tumblring these days which basically consists of finishing work for the day and being like...I STILL HAZ ENERGY I TOTALLY GOT THIS.....and then five whole minutes of reblogs, hunting down the donation posts of any mutuals I can think of who have Needs and I can give Reblogs, and then....consuming another half a bottle of ibuprofen and stumbling back to bed. 
I AM THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD, FUCKING EAT IT DOS EQUIS MAN, YOU EFFIN’ POSER!
Anyway, thanks for hanging in there while I like....exist. The fact that I don’t shed followers these days is like....huh. *Shrugs* In updates, like, I did get word back from my insurance company finally, and they’ve preauthorized the procedure for like...half of it, is basically what they’re paying. Which is about $10K, and brings my bill down to $12,400. Which is where I’m stuck at, because everything else is done, modeling and impressions are done, all of that, literally the only thing to do now is the actual surgery itself, which can be scheduled two weeks from....whenever I give them a check. Sigh. So I need to give them a check for $6,200, they then schedule the surgery and book an OR for two weeks from then, and then day of, I need to give them the other check for $6,200 and then wham bam, hello anesthesia, they cut open my face, do a little of this, a little of that, blah blah technical jargon, then they glue me back together or whatever, wire my jaw shut and send me home with someone where I exist like an immobile fungus on their couch for ten days, with the occasional inhaling of pureed foods through a straw. Then I go back to the doctor, they unwire my jaw, hopefully tell me they did not fuck anything up and I did not fuck anything up and I still have all sensation in my face, and if everything checks out, I get to....do whatever! I’ll have like two weeks of physical therapy, but apparently its not supposed to be too extensive? *Shrugs* But that’s it, that’s everything that’s left, that’s...the final stretch or whatever. Easy peasy. Except for like...the whole....still being 12K away from being able to do it lmfao.
ANYWAY, so currently I’m running down various options through my bank to see if my credit is decent enough to get a personal loan for at least some of that amount and if so how long that’ll take, and then I’ll put up a gofundme for whatever’s left. I’m just trying to cut it down further as much as possible first because like....12K is a big effing price tag to put on a gofundme and I know a lot of people naturally balk at that because it feels unachievable and people like to feel like their money is having more of an immediate effect on someone’s life instead of like ‘well gimme twenty bucks now and as long as people get me to the other $11,980 I need, this will totally help transform my life!!’ Which is...well....literally what the sitch is at this point, lolololololol. Oh look, there’s that sound again. Whheeeeeeeeeeeee.
ANYWAY: THE SEQUEL, so that is what I am up to, the latest and most ground-breaking of my shenanigans and whatnot and what have you and I think that’s my cue that my latest meds have finally kicked in and I am staring into the abyss of Incomprehensible Like Whaaaaaaaaaat, so I’m gonna go now. And like. Exist. In my bed. All sexy like.
DON’T BE JEALOUS, NOT EVERYONE CAN HAVE IT GOING ON LIKE I DO, ELSE WHAT WOULD YE ALL ASPIRE TO!???
...I really fucking don’t even know what’s coming out of my mouth at this point. Fingers. Whathtefuckever. 
ANYWAY: THE THREQUEL THAT NOBODY ASKED FOR BUT STILL EXISTS BECAUSE FRANCHISING YO - so I’m gonna go now. Bye and stuff. Oh and here’s my paypal per usual because like, hey I’m not gonna say no to anything that chips away at that Ugh 12K Ugh Why Don’t You Just Tell Me You Hate Me And Go, God price tag. I mean, anarchist that I am, I’d love to just be all “I’m gonna rob a bank to pay for this because Fuck Capitalism That’s Why, but I just....feel like nobody’s gonna take that seriously when I like....have to stop five feet inside the door to catch my balance. Can’t believe Leverage never taught me a weirdly named con to account for that, ugh, Rude, I shall SUE.
...yeah no seriously I should go huh. Cool cool. 
https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming?locale.x=en_US
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soft-stormcloud · 4 years
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The Witching Hour [Ghost AU]
Trigger warnings: Virgil is dead lol, Logan makes one joke about wanting to die, LOTS of cursing, mention of divorce, scared yelling and mention of a shitty couple yelling at each other, Deceit’s mannerism once
   Word count: 1478
A/N: I spent like an hour and a half on this I’m sorry xD I can’t promise the rest of the month will get much better, I’ve got a lot going on
I don’t. I don’t even know what this is.
If enough interest is expressed, I might make this an au.
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“I’m serious!”
Logan leaned back, his folded arms under his head. “I know you are. I still don’t believe you.”
Roman pouted. “You never believe me.”
“That’s because you’re a moron.”
Roman, Patton, and Logan were in Roman’s basement, sitting in a circle on the floor with sigils drawn on paper and a bunch of random things like matches and fans that Roman called ‘charging material.’ It was eleven thirty at night on Halloween, and Roman was adamant that they sped things up.
Roman grinned. “Well at least Pat believes me!”
“Patton’s also a moron,” Logan said helpfully, his eyes closed.
Patton swirled the lollipop around in his mouth, gripping his messenger bag nervously. “I don’t know if I want to do this…”
“No, look, I did some reading, okay?”
Logan groaned. “Jesus fucking Christ.”
“If it were something evil, like a poltergeist or something, I don’t know, it would have done something already.”
“Oh, yeah?” He said sarcastically.
“Yeah!” Roman nodded vigourously. “And everyone knows Halloween is the best time to talk to ghosts!”
Patton bit his lip. “Maybe we should ask your parents first-”
Roman’s eyes widened. “What?! Are you crazy?! They’d never let us do it!”
“Well-”
“Come on.” He turned to Logan. If you don’t believe in it, how is it going to hurt you?” Then, to Patton, “And you know I can protect you!”
“Of course I know that, but- But this isn’t a person! You can’t fight off a ghost!”
Roman scowled. “Says who?”
Logan sighed dramatically, sitting up. “If we do this with you, will you stop talking about it every day?”
“Wait wait wait-”
“You can go home if you want,” Logan told Patton, “but I’m sick of listening to him talk about it. It doesn’t mean anything and this will prove it to him.”
Roman glared at him, then turned a softer look on Patton. “Pat,” he cooed, “what if the ghost is lonely?”
He crossed his arms over his chest, huffing. “Fine. But it’s not because of that!”
Logan rolled his eyes. “Alright, get on with it. What do we have to do?”
Deep rumbling fills the room, seemingly coming out of the walls. It almost sounds like laughter. Every freezes, Roman resting his hand over the pocket knife in his belt, Patton’s eyes practically bulging out of his head. Logan looks around warily.
“I told you!” Roman whisper-screamed.
“Ohmygodwe’regonnadie.”
Just as Logan stood up, the basement went pitch black. Patton whimpered.
Logan felt vulnerable, standing in the darkness with nothing to defend himself. No matter which way he turned, his back felt exposed. “Roman,” he said, deadly calm.
“Yeah?” He asked nervously.
“You were lying when you said your parents are home, weren’t you?”
“…Yeah.”
“ROMAN!” Patton shrieked.
Everyone’s hearts jumped in their throats.
“What?!”
“Come on,” he whined, “give it back, that’s not funny!”
The lights flicked back on, and everyone’s gaze snapped to the boy now laying on Roman’s couch, his legs tossed lazily over the arm. He had Patton’s lollipop in his mouth.
“Jesus Christ, you guys fight a lot.” His voice echoed. “Are you sure you’re friends?”
Patton screamed, a few tears dripping down his face. Roman and Logan were too afraid to move.
The boy was just a teenager, in black ripped jeans and a black hoodie, his hair dyed purple. The only thing that gave him away was his doubling voice, the fact that his skin was completely white, and the black circles around his eyes. He couldn’t be any older than they were.
Patton let out a string of little panicked noises. “Romaaaaan, there’s a boy in your house!”
The boy sat up, grinning around the lollipop. “You guys know there’s no such thing as summoning a ghost, right?” No one answered. “I’ve just been here.” He shrugged. “You’re dysfunctional as shit. It’s fun to listen to. Better than the assholes who lived before you. I’m glad they divorced, for the neighborhood’s sake.” Nothing. “They’d just scream and scream and scream at each other, all night. It used to give me panic attacks, before I got used to it.” Silence. He chuckled. “They were so freaked out. One time I screamed back, and all their dishes just shot out the cabinets.”
Roman’s eyes widened. “Wait, what? How’d you do that?!”
“Roman!” Logan hissed, lowering back to the ground.
The ghost’s eyebrows disappeared behind his bangs. “Your reading on ghosts? All fake. You can’t research us, not really. All the real information is sprinkled in all over the internet with all the fake shit. Good luck trying to figure out what’s accurate.”
“You took my candy,” Patton pointed out, looking somewhat awed.
He grinned. “Couldn’t resist.”
He stood and drifted over to Patton, crouching in front of him. He pulled the candy out of his mouth and, as he spoke, his breath smelled like blueberries. “I can give it back, if you want.”
A little smile forced itself onto Patton’s face. “I have more!”
Logan gaped at them. “Are you fucking ser-”
“Hush.” The boy waved his hand, and Logan’s own hand clamped over his mouth.
Patton held open his messenger back; It was full of loose candy. “We stopped at Walgreens before this.”
“Let go of him!” Roman snapped, pulling out his pocket knife.
He glanced at it, looking uninterested. “What? He’s fine.” He paused. “I mean, he’s an asshole. But he’s fine.” He laughed, flicking his wrist to make Roman’s knife fly across the room, lest Roman charge at him when he wasn’t looking and end up hurting Patton. “You all kind of suck, actually.”
Roman glared, and the ghost let Logan go. They watched in complete shock as he settled himself into Patton’s lap. Patton giggled and wrapped his arms around his waist. He wasn’t transparent, but didn’t feel completely solid, either.
The ghost glanced between them curiously, pointing at them with his lollipop. “Patton. Logan. And Roman. Right?”
Patton grinned. “Yeah!”
“How long have you been listening to us?” Logan demanded.
“Every time you come over.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, do you think there’s something better to do?”
“Get off of him,” Roman said lowly.
“Patton, do you want me off?”
“Uh…” He thought for a moment, before shaking his head.
The boy grinned at Roman challengingly. “I’m staying.”
“What the fuck.”
“How long have you been here?” Patton asked.
He laughed. “You think I keep track of that shit?”
“Do you know when you died?” Logan’s eyes shone with curiosity, even as he tried to hide it.
“More or less.”
“Jesus Christ,” he sighed.
“You’re not gonna give us a straight answer, are you?” Roman asked.
He shrugged. “Nothing about me is straight.”
Patton giggled. “We should watch movies! Hey- Hey- Hey, ghost boy! What’s your favourite movie?”
Roman gasped. “I am not watching movies with a ghost.”
“Do you remember your name?” Logan asked.
“Virgil.”
“Must have been dead for a while,” Logan muttered. “And you’re able to control us?”
“More or less.”
Logan glared at him, and Virgil leaned forward, pulling the lolli out of his mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry, are my answers not adequate for your data?” He sneered. “Want the whole tragic backstory, will that help, Sherlock?” Virgil snapped his teeth down on the candy, and it shattered in his mouth. He whipped the stick at the wall. Patton handed him a new one- Pink this time. “Thanks, darling.”
“Oh my god,” Roman deadpanned.
“Hey- Hey guys!” Patton giggled. “A boy likes me!”
“Patton, no-”
Virgil grinned. “What, am I not good enough for him?”
“YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND CAN’T BE DEAD.”
“Says who?!” Patton tightened his grip on Virgil’s waist, kissing his cheek. It was like kissing dry ice cream.
“I want to die,” Logan groaned, flopping backwards.
“You wanna trade places, pocket protector? I imagine you wouldn’t get bored so fast, you sure like judging people.”
Logan scoffed.
Virgil rose to his feet without using his arms. “I’m gonna go make coffee.”
“What?” Roman looked at him like he was out of his mind.
He shrugged. “Your parents aren’t home. You guys know I’m here. I’m making coffee.” He rose an eyebrow. “Or is my reasoning not sound? Huh, Sherlock?”
“Just go,” Logan groaned.
Virgil grinned, and turned to Patton. “You want something, love?”
Patton giggled, his face pink. “Bring me back a cookie!”
“Don’t do that!” Roman jumped up. “He could poison it!”
“Do you just have poison lying around?” Virgil asked.
“I don’t know what you’re capable of! I’m coming with you.”
“If you can catch me.” Virgil fell through the ground, and everyone looked around for a second, in shock, before Roman dashed up the stairs.
“Are you seriously gonna try and date a ghost?” Logan asked, his voice flat.
“Maybe.”
Logan pulled a pillow over his face. “Do what you want. I’m going to bed.”
The Witching Hour AU
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