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hongcherry · 1 year

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Just for Me || k.hj (m)

"Hongjoong was never overly fond of your cam girl activities, but he didn't want to seem controlling and force you to stop them. Instead, he does the next best thing: he joins you during one of your steams to show everyone you're his."

🎥 Pairing: boyfriend!Hongjoong x camgirl!Reader (afab)

🎥 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Smut, fluff, angst if you squint?; Cam girl au, mainly pwp, established relationship, non-idol au

🎥 Warnings: dom!HJ, sub!reader, reader has she/her pronouns and is referred to as girl sometimes, hj's a lil mean at times, possessive!HJ (but wbk), choking, name-calling (slut) + pet names, sir kink, oral (f rec.), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, spit kink, dirty talk, marks/hickeys, use of a sex toy, fondling, breast play, spanking (ass, pussy), multiple orgasms, degradation, light cum play, exhibitionism, punishment (spanking)

🎥 Word Count: 9.9k (how i did this w a mainly pwp is beyond me)

🎥 Credits: Thank you Panda & Dae (@toikiii) for beta'ing this! Thank you Indigo (@playmetheclassics) for giving me advice on the banner! And thank you Syd (@justaaveragereader) for helping me figure out a few details, which you probably weren't even aware you were helping me w this LMAO but thanks anyway. You're all so amazing and I appreciate your help and time! 🥰

🎥 Author's Note: Please disregard anything that's not accurate in the life of a cam girl as I, spoiler, don't have any experience in that field 🫠 (cue Harry Styles' voice: Or do I?)

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Hongjoong would admit he’s a little possessive. He is selfish, and he certainly doesn’t like to share what is his.

You were aware of this. Even though that trait might be annoying for some, it wasn’t for you—for the most part. There were sometimes when it became too much, but Hongjoong was trying to not be so possessive. Keyword: Trying.

When he became aware of your side job/hobby of being a cam girl two months into your relationship, he wasn’t overly thrilled. At first, he was slightly mad; his clenched jaw at the time told you so. Though, that emotion soon transpired into guilt. Was he not treating you right? Was he not making you happy enough? Were you struggling to make ends meet, and he didn’t know? You were quick to reassure him that you’d been doing it before you met him and were completely satisfied with him both in and out of the bedroom. It was just something you had tried out and ended up enjoying.

Hongjoong didn’t like knowing strangers were seeing you in such intimate ways, ways that he felt should be kept between him and you, but he also didn’t want to be the one to force you to quit doing something you liked. Even though he really, really wanted to.

There was a split second where he considered ending the relationship when you confessed. He wanted someone that was his and his alone. However, his feelings for you were strong. He didn’t want to leave you; especially, when the thought of someone else calling you theirs and touching you emerged in his mind. It was difficult to have two conflicting thoughts.

He guessed the one good thing with the streams is that you were the only one touching yourself, edging yourself, pleasuring yourself. Thus, you both came to an agreement. As long as you didn’t bring any “guests” onto your shows, he would make do with it and wouldn’t throw, what you liked to call, his “mini tantrums.”

When he had given in, you smiled—one that always had his heartbeat stuttering. You were pleased to have gotten his acceptance with your streams. You weren’t sure what you would’ve done if he hadn’t since you didn’t want to quit your shows or lose your relationship with him. You offered him the chance to be in one with you, but he declined. He stated he’d rather save those moments when the camera was off.

Weeks went by as you continued your streams. Hongjoong was never present during them, but he did watch one to understand what you were doing. He had gotten hard while viewing you on the screen—how could he not have? He always got aroused seeing and hearing you in such ways.

Usually, for your streams, only your lips and below were showing. Though occasionally, he would spot the end of the half-mask you wore. He remembered you had told him it was in case you accidentally showed your entire face. He got himself off that night watching you play with yourself.

Hongjoong didn’t keep track of your stream schedule too much. He didn’t want to seem controlling, and honestly, seeing some of the comments in your chat had him feeling that green demon lurking in the shadows. He had to stop himself from typing a warning, realizing no one knew who you really were; therefore, no one knew who he was. He doubted that would’ve stopped the comments anyway.

What really was the tipping point was one day on the way to Seonghwa’s room to hang out, Hongjoong overheard a familiar noise. The door had been ajar, so he couldn’t see much but the sound could be heard through the gap. Hongjoong was quick to recognize the noise. You had made them many times when he was buried deep in your heat. But why were your moans coming from Seonghwa’s bedroom?

Hongjoong had felt a sudden pang of betrayal in his chest. He was just about to storm out of the apartment, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave. Some masochistic part of him needed to see it for himself.

Hongjoong slowly pushed the door open more to see Seonghwa, not in his bed, but at his desk with his back to him. Seonghwa’s computer screen lit the dark room, which caught Hongjoong’s attention. He recognized the bedroom on the screen. You had shown it to him a few times, and he’s seen it through his own screen as well. It was a spare room in your home. Since you were both still fairly new to the relationship, you remained living separately for now.

Hongjoong recalled how you didn’t want people seeing your personal belongings, so you had arranged your other bedroom as a set. You would change out knick-knacks and covers for different ones occasionally. This time, you had pink covers with dainty objects in the background. It was pretty, but not as pretty as you were with your legs parted to expose your bare pussy.

Your moans were ringing out in the room as you pumped two fingers in your entrance. Hongjoong had inhaled sharply, realizing Seonghwa was unknowingly watching his girlfriend get herself off.

The noise was loud enough to have finally caught Seonghwa’s attention. Hongjoong had been staring at Seonghwa’s screen with wide eyes.

The older man quickly tucked himself back in his pants while he scurried to shut off your stream.

“I’m s-sorry!” he had exclaimed as he turned to face Hongjoong once the tab was closed, face growing red with embarrassment.

Hongjoong wasn’t sure what to say at that point. Part of him had wanted to scold him for watching the stream, but it was on a public platform. Anyone could see you if they wanted. Though it felt strange that someone he knew was watching you. Sometimes he wished he stayed blissfully unaware of your viewer’s identities.

However, that seemed not to be the case.

A week later, he found himself in the same scenario, but instead of Seonghwa, it was Yunho. Hongjoong’s initial feelings of treachery were absent this time. He had carefully pushed Yunho’s door open more so he could confirm his suspicion. Just like before, your stream was displayed on Yunho’s screen. Your pretty moans were playing through the speakers. Between your sounds, Hongjoong could hear the faint sound of Yunho touching himself. Even though he was relieved to know you weren’t cheating on him, he couldn’t help that possessive nature coming up again at having discovered his friends were seeing you in such a way.

He wondered what they were thinking. Did they want to have you in their beds? Were they imagining their dicks inside your dripping cunt? Did they wish you were moaning because of them? Of course, they were. What else could they be thinking about?

Hongjoong had left the place irritated. He didn’t even bother interrupting Yunho; he couldn’t stop him from watching you. Not unless he explained the reason as to why, but it wasn’t his place to disclose your secret hobby.

You’re not sure what had overcome Hongjoong when he came to you one day declaring to do a stream together. Although you weren’t opposed, you found it strange how determined he was since he was against it at first. Sure, he could change his mind, but you figured he would be a little hesitant if he did so. However, after asking him multiple times if he was really okay with it, and him declaring yes, you set a time and date for him to come over. You had gone over a few things to ensure the stream would go smoothly with him. He decided he didn’t want his face shown, nor did he want his voice heard. He just wanted the attention to be on you. You respected his wishes and assured him he’d stay anonymous.

“Are you nervous?” you asked while you checked your equipment. Hongjoong sat in the chair in the corner, a leg bouncing up and down absentmindedly. He stopped when you asked him the question.

“No,” he said. You glanced at him incredulously for a second before turning back to the tasks at hand.

“It’s just a little stressful to know people are watching me… us,” he sighed after a moment of silence.

Once you were done, you moved to him. You leaned down and raised his face to see him better.

“Baby, you always make me feel so good. Just be yourself,” you soothed.

Hongjoong closed his eyes for a second as he collected himself, inhaling deeply before releasing his breath gradually.

“That’s it, Joong. Just breathe,” you comforted and rubbed at his shoulder.

Hongjoong raised a hand to your face and guided you down until your lips met. The kiss was gentle and brief, but it had your heart fluttering in your chest nonetheless.

“Go get dressed, love,” he instructed gently. You were wearing sweats and a random shirt, having been too lazy to dress up before he arrived.

You smiled at knowing he felt ready. Nodding, you left the room to get dressed. You liked dressing cute in bright colors when you did your streams, but you knew Hongjoong liked darker shades. Though you’re sure he would’ve liked you in anything, you wanted to please him more tonight. The lingerie you wore was a mix of black and red while your layered clothes on top were simply black. You added a choker that had draping chains with a matching earring set, along with some knee-high socks.

When you came back, Hongjoong donned a black mask and a baseball cap. He was making sure his face was covered. He appeared so attractive in his fit, yet you couldn’t help but giggle at him.

“Why are you laughing?” he huffed playfully.

“You look cute,” you shrugged and shut the door. Hongjoong tore his cap off to see you better, hair falling around his face. His lips parted at your body. Your low-cut top paired with your skirt had him freezing in his seat.

“Do you like it? It’s nothing special,” you asked, a little nervous now that you were in front of him.

Hongjoong stood from the chair and stalked toward you. “It may not be on someone else, but you make it special. You’re beautiful.”

He quickly pulled the mask down before giving your cheek a reassuring kiss and then planting another on your lips.

“We better get started soon before I take you right now,” he murmured when he pulled away. His hands rested on your hips, pulling you against him to feel you.

You giggled at his eagerness. “Let me go and we can,” you replied.

“If I must,” he sighed dramatically and slowly released his grip on you.

You walked over to your setup, waking up the monitors and doing a double-check on everything. You had a monitor to read the chat and another to check what was being shown. There was also a microphone on the table to capture the audio better.

Hongjoong stood in the corner as he fixed his cap and mask. You had told him during a previous conversation to wait until you cued him in, and you were glad to see he remembered.

After checking the time, you started your stream. You moved away and sat on your bed, legs crossed and arms resting on either side of your body. You leaned forward to read the chat, and the act had your breasts pushing together.

“Hi everyone, welcome back,” you said with a smile, seeing various greetings flood your chat.

“A new color, I know,” you said after seeing several comments about your darker attire. “It’s different, but hopefully you like it.”

You jumped down from your bed to give the camera a twirl.

Hongjoong watched silently, hands clasped in front of him while his eyes roamed your figure. The spin had your skirt rising to get a sneak peek of your undies.

“See? Simple, but pretty,” you continued and sat back on the bed. You waited a few more minutes to let your audience grow before you peered up at Hongjoong. He was watching you attentively. So much so that it had a chill running down your spine in excitement. It was hard to see his face, but just the way he was standing had you ready to get started.

“Yes, today’s the day,” you smiled at the camera.

You had announced you were going to have a special guest join you for a stream. You never disclosed who it was, but you wanted to inform your viewers of the slight change to your regular activities.

“I have someone joining me today. I hope you guys don’t mind.”

You reached out to Hongjoong. He took that as his cue and placed his hand in yours. You gently pulled him into the frame. He stood next to you by the bed, part of his upper body out of view of the camera.

Your eyes scanned the chat for a second, seeing mostly excitement but a few comments that were against your guest. You disregarded them, though.

“Is he my boyfriend or husband?” you read aloud.

You weren’t going to disclose that information, a little worried people may find you in real life or even stop watching if they knew you weren’t single. However, you knew Hongjoong wouldn’t like it if you lied. He had told you earlier it was up to you if the question arose, but you knew how he really felt. Even if a few people dropped your stream, you cared about Hongjoong’s feelings more. Plus, you figured people could find you regardless of knowing your relationship status.

“Yes, he’s my boyfriend,” you answered and tilted your head up at him. He glanced down at you. Despite not seeing his grin, you knew from his eyes that he was happy. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze in case his eye smile wasn’t enough.

“How is he okay with me doing this? Because he’s understanding and respects my decisions,” you said when you read a few worried comments.

Your lips dipped in a frown when you saw people tease Hongjoong for not being good enough between the sheets that you had to resort to streaming yourself. “He treats me just right in bed. I do this because I want to, not because I need to. You’ll see how good he fucks me soon,” you giggled.

You stayed silent as you continued reading the chat.

“Hm,” you sighed sadly and quickly messaged your moderators. You were lucky enough to have a few of them to make sure the chat wasn’t too creepy. You knew you were going to get a few strange comments as your streaming content was mature, but you were still human. You weren’t going to tolerate anything overly sexual or degrading. If anyone were to degrade you, it’d be Hongjoong in bed.

You didn’t realize Hongjoong had sat on the edge of the bed until you accidentally backed into him. His hands came up to your hips to keep you balanced.

“Oh! Sorry,” you said.

Hongjoong stayed silent but rubbed your sides to let you know it was okay. He pulled you back slightly, so you were leaning more into his body. He nuzzled his face, as best he could without disrupting his cap, against your neck. You rubbed his arms gently as you focused on your stream again.

“Alright chat. If I see any more comments disrespecting my boyfriend, you’ll get kicked. This is going to be an enjoyable night, so be kind and let’s have fun, okay?” you instructed. Hongjoong hummed quietly behind you, and you knew he was appreciative of your action.

After your chat was mainly in agreement, you smiled. “Good.”

You glanced behind you to look at Hongjoong. He peeped his head up when you moved.

“You ready, baby?” you asked sweetly. He nodded, hands squeezing your hips more from nervousness.

You turned around in his grasp and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Can I take that off, so I can kiss you?” you asked quietly enough for it to not be picked up by the mic.

Hongjoong glanced behind you at the monitor. Your body was covering him well enough to keep him hidden.

“Okay,” he whispered and carefully pulled down the mask. You gave him a smile seeing his handsome face before leaning in to kiss him.

Hongjoong raised a hand to grip the tip of his hat, making sure it was low enough to cover his eyes. Through the kiss, you could feel he was nervous. His movements were tense—not as smooth as they usually were. You hoped as time went by, he would get more comfortable.

You ran your tongue along his lip, and he granted you access quickly. Hongjoong widened his legs as he pressed your body against his with his free hand. You smiled into the kiss when you shuffled closer, gently climbing onto his lap. Hongjoong’s hand trailed to your ass. He lifted you up, so it was easier to get settled. Once you were perched, you began to gradually grind against his crotch. He let out a small moan and pulled away from the kiss.

You reached forward to push the mask up his face carefully. While you did so, Hongjoong’s eyes drifted to the screens behind you. His hand on your rear caused your skirt to partly ride up to show a hint of your pretty ass. He let go of his cap to cup both your cheeks, giving them both a rough squeeze to see more of your skin.

You hummed contently as he did so, diving down to trail kisses up the column of his neck.

The soft feeling of your lips had Hongjoong smiling behind his mask. His head tilted slightly as you sucked a mark on his neck near the mole you loved so much. When you licked and nipped at his skin after, he released another moan.

“Keep moving, baby,” he told you lowly.

Not realizing you had stopped, you adhered to his wish and rolled your hips against him. Mewls escaped your lips when you rubbed your clit with each glide.

Hongjoong stared at the screen as you did so, loving the way your clothed pussy could be seen slightly when you pushed your ass back a certain amount. His eyes moved to the other screen that was showing the chat.

Some comments were about how they wished they had someone to do the same, others were saying how they wanted to see more of your body. At first, Hongjoong wanted to do the opposite—to take the covers from the bed and wrap you like a burrito so no one could see you. Though he knew that was just him being selfish again. After all, most of these people have already seen your body, but none of them had touched you. No one has been in Hongjoong’s position. That thought stirred something inside his chest. Something akin to cockiness.

You lifted your head to peer at him when you noticed he had stilled.

“What’s wrong?” you frowned, hand coming up to avert his gaze to you instead of behind you.

Hongjoong looked at you, eyes flickering from between your eyes as his mind raced. He was stuck between wanting to turn off the stream and wanting to show everyone just how pretty his girl was.

Not needing to hear his inner turmoil, you spoke, “We can stop,” you reassured, “or you can show everyone how good you fuck me. How good I can take it.”

Your words had Hongjoong’s eyes darkened with lust.

He hated sharing. He really did. Part of him still wanted to keep all parts of you to himself—your body, your sounds, your thoughts. But something in him also wanted to make everyone watching jealous. They could crave you as much as they’d like, but they’d never be the one pleasuring you. They’d never be him.

For some reason that boosted his ego.

People wanted what he had, and that made him feel powerful. You were his special gem. He never wanted to let you go.

“Joongie?” you called out softly to him when he didn’t answer.

“Turn around,” he instructed, voice a little husky and eyes sharp with authority. You bit your lip at his commanding attitude and climbed off his lap to do as you were told. Your heart was thudding in anticipation. You were glad he decided to keep going.

Hongjoong slipped his mask down and placed kisses against your neck that weren’t covered by the choker. You moved your head to give enough space for him and his cap, watching in the monitor as he kept his face hidden. He was nipping at your skin while his hands started to roam your body. You placed your palms on his muscular thighs to keep you steady.

Hongjoong’s mouth parted on a place against your neck and began to suck. You could tell his goal was to leave a mark. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s done so, but his actions felt more determined than ever.

Your eyes watched through the screen as his hands trailed up your legs. They caught on your skirt, lifting the hem to expose your panties for a few seconds before letting the material fall. They continued upward until they reached your chest. You moaned when his strong hands grabbed your breasts—palming them steadily, but roughly.

The comments were a mix of complaints and praises; some said the action was too slow, and others said how sexy it was to see Hongjoong touch you. The negative ones didn’t bother you as you were enjoying yourself with your boyfriend and that’s what mattered. There was no need to rush.

Hongjoong’s mouth moved from one part of your neck to another, repeating the actions until your skin was littered with small marks. You could see them blossoming through the screen.

He slipped his mask up before his hands moved beneath your top and began to lift it up. You raised your arms to help him remove it.

“So pretty,” you heard him whisper behind you, causing you to smile.

He admired your body for a second, taking in the way your breasts filled the bra beautifully, and soon, his hands cupped your chest again. After a few more squeezes of your flesh, he took off the material. Your torso was now completely exposed to him and your viewers.

Hongjoong eyed the chat for a second. There was still a feeling of possessiveness when he read how sexy you looked. He agreed, but he was still trying to get used to having people see you bare. He reminded himself you were his. He was the only one who could touch you. He had a feeling this would be repeated in his head later.

His hands found your breasts again, and his fingers twisted your nipples, causing you to gasp and clutch his thighs. He gently pulled on them while he watched your face. Your eyebrows knitted together at the slight pain, but your moans told him you liked it. Hongjoong released your nipples and spread his hand across your breasts. When he started massaging them again, you began grinding against him. He let out a small groan at the feeling.

Your eyes shifted to the chat as you moved your hips.

“Thank you, ‘chilly mangos’, for the donation,” you said as a notification appeared. “‘Fruity juice’ as well.”

You heard Hongjoong snicker behind you, and you pinched his leg in a warning. The usernames were always a little funny to say out loud, but what were you to do about it? It was just something you had to get used to.

“Hm, his hands look good on my boobs?” you read with a small laugh. “I agree.”

At the comment, Hongjoong pushed up your breasts and squeezed, giving your viewers a good look at how round they were. He released them after a second, and you watched as they bounced back in place.

You smiled at the comments that flooded in. Various messages were about how they wanted Hongjoong to do it again or wished he would fuck your breasts. There were other requests, which you normally took into high consideration, but you wanted today to be more natural—not tending to others’ needs.

“I appreciate the donations and the requests everyone, but I probably won’t read chat too much today,” you informed.

Hongjoong slid his hands back up your body. You didn’t realize you had been leaning forward to interact with the chat until he pulled you back with his hands on your chest again. He played with them as you continued to talk to your viewers for a bit. He would switch from pinching your nipples to bouncing your breasts in his hands. Eventually, his ministrations moved downward, and his hips started to move against your ass. You could feel himself getting harder the more he rubbed himself. One of his hands went between your legs, but his fingers spread so he wasn’t touching your folds. It was a teasing action, and you needed to feel more.

“A-alright, guys,” you stammered, “I’m going to tend to my boyfriend now. I think he’s getting a little needy. Isn’t that right, baby?”

You glanced at Hongjoong. Even though you couldn’t see his pout, you knew it was there. You smiled, leaning down to press a kiss through his mask.

“I’m all yours,” you said.

Hongjoong took the green light to shuffle farther up on the bed. He patted the space between his legs to call you over. Before you followed him, you quickly zoomed the camera in a little. Hongjoong’s neck and face were out of frame, but that was fine. You situated yourself on the bed quickly after. Your back was pressed against his chest, and you let Hongjoong hook your legs over his. He lifted your skirt and tucked the ends in the waistband. With your legs wide and clothed pussy on display, Hongjoong slithered a hand south.

Your body jerked slightly when he grazed his fingers over your clit then your slit. He could feel the dampness of your panties, and he hummed in satisfaction, pleased to find that you were already wet. He pressed his fingers harder against you, slipping between your folds through your underwear. You mewled at the feeling, hips rolling upward to feel more of him.

“Stay still,” Hongjoong instructed you quietly.

You nodded and stilled your body. Though when he glided his fingers up and to your clit, you bucked your hips again. Hongjoong didn’t say anything to that and slowly circled your bud. His speed increased, causing you to jerk in his grasp again.

“You’re not being good,” he commented.

“C-can’t help it,” you whined. Your legs tried to close when he pinched your clit carefully. You heard Hongjoong make a condescending noise at seeing your failed attempt. You weren’t able to bring your legs together due to them being forced open by his own legs.

Hongjoong’s eyes rose to the monitors. The sight of you spread between his legs, bare torso resting against his, had him getting harder. He then turned to read the comments. There were a few complaints that they couldn’t hear your voices and others that were making certain requests. He saw a couple of donation notifications pop up as well. One request caught his eye. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be told what to do, but something in him wanted to fulfill this request.

Hongjoong’s hand suddenly left your clit, only to bring it down against your folds in a light smack.

You gasped at his action; your hands came to hold onto his arms that were in front of you.

Happy with your reaction, Hongjoong repeated the action. Your body jumped, and your legs pressed against his in another attempt to close.

“Your chat is very naughty,” he murmured in your ear.

“S-sometimes,” you stuttered.

He chuckled, not believing you. He’s seen the comments when he’s watched your streams, but it was a little different considering he was the one being asked to do things to you now.

“They want to hear your voice, baby,” he continued and brought his hand back to your pussy. Though this time he pulled aside your underwear. His eyes glanced down at your slickened folds, now bare for everyone to see.

His fingers rubbed between your lower lips, coating his digits with your arousal. “I’ll make sure they hear it.”

His additional comment had your heart thudding in your chest.

Without notice, he slipped a finger inside, making you lean your head against his shoulder. He pumped it unhurriedly. He loved seeing how just one finger had you whining. At the second finger, you wiggled against him. Your hips were bucking up as you tried to grind against his hand.

“You’re really just misbehaving today, huh? Why is that?” he questioned. Usually, when you did, he would stop what he was doing and make you apologize until he felt you meant it. You were scared he’d do that now, but he didn’t. Instead, he inserted another finger.

“I-I don’t know,” you mumbled, hands tightening their hold on his arms.

Hongjoong glided his digits in and out a couple of times before spreading them on the way out. The stretch had you crying, legs squeezing against his.

“They liked that,” he said after he checked the chat.

Hongjoong dove three fingers into your pussy again and slowly parted them, making a show of how well you could be stretched. You were moaning against him; your eyes were glued on the monitor showing the both of you. He abruptly retracted his hand and reached to the side. You were forced to sit up slightly, legs untangling from his, as he retrieved something from the nightstand.

Donations were coming in more now, and you read the chat briefly before turning your attention to Hongjoong.

He leaned back up with one of your dildos and a small bottle of lube in his hands. Your thighs pressed together at the sight. His lips quirked up at your position, staring at you for a moment while he decided what he wanted to do.

He climbed off the bed and strolled to the end of it again, gesturing for you to follow, so you did.

“Take them off,” he demanded, finger pointing to your skirt. You started to remove it, but Hongjoong tsked and shook his head. At his disapproval, your hands went to your panties instead. When he didn’t say anything, you continued their descent until they were off completely.

Your eyes watched his face while he gently situated you in the position he wanted. Your legs were spread, feet perched on the mattress and your body leaned back on your arms. Hongjoong placed the object by you as he moved to your setup. You stayed silent as he adjusted the camera’s view. He made sure the focus was solely on you before sitting next to you sideways and angling his body in front of you. With his back turned to the camera, he shifted his mask down and captured your lips with his.

His tongue slipped inside your mouth, meeting yours quickly. As he did this, he picked up the dildo and spread some lube over it. The sound of the cap opening had your body tingling with excitement. One of your hands rose to grab the back of his head. Your fingers tangled in his hair that wasn’t covered by the cap, tugging on it when he nipped at your lip playfully.

Your body jolted slightly when he brought the toy to your pussy. Steadily, he pressed it inside your entrance. You moaned into the kiss, clutching the sheets with one hand and his hair with the other. Hongjoong pulled away to look down. You carefully put his mask in place before leaning back again. Your eyes stared down, watching with an open mouth as he pushed the object farther. When it was halfway in, he started to thrust it gradually.

“Shit,” you panted loudly when he started to speed up. You recalled how Hongjoong had informed you your chat wanted to hear you more. Although you weren’t sure if they were only referring to your moans, you still decided to speak up. You were used to it anyway.

“You look so pretty being stuffed,” he hummed, “but you’ll look even prettier on my cock. Isn’t that right?”

You nodded quickly, gaze moving to his eyes. “Want your cock instead.”

“I bet you do, but I want you to come first,” he said and put his attention back to pumping the toy quickly. He shifted on the bed and then moved his other hand to rub your clit.

Hongjoong couldn’t stop glancing at the chat.

It appeared he spoke a little too loudly. He had forgotten he was closer to the mic when he was at the end of the bed. Although he could be heard, it wasn’t audible enough to decipher. They had simply heard a hint of what he sounded like. You, on the other hand, could be heard better as you were speaking louder.

“C-close, Jo—baby,” you stammered, walls clenching around the toy that was gliding in and out of you.

“Go on,” he said, eyes moving back to your body in front of him. A few more rubs of your clit and thrusts of the dildo had you moaning out as you came.

Hongjoong pulled the toy from you, tossing it back on the bed before he kneeled between your legs. He quickly twisted his cap, so it was backward and yanked the mask down. He dove into your pussy, tongue licking up your dripping folds.

“Fuck,” you cursed again, head lolling back as you placed a hand against his head. Hongjoong’s hands rested on your bucking hips, trying to still them. You knew he could hold you down, but he wasn’t putting much effort into doing that.

Hongjoong glanced up at you. The tip of his tongue was circling your clit for a second before he went back to gliding it up and down your slit.

He loved the way you tasted against his tongue. He slipped the wet muscle inside, and you pushed your hips against his face more. He savored your juices as he pulled away, chin coated in your wetness. The sight was heavenly, and you moved your hand to the back of his neck to bring him to you.

You smiled when you tasted yourself against his tongue. The kiss was brief as Hongjoong pulled away shortly. He adjusted both of you, so your mouths were in the frame. His hand rose to grip your chin, gently tugging it down to open your mouth. Your eyes were glued on his, even though they weren’t captured on stream, while you waited for his next move. What he did next, however, shocked you as he’s never done it before.

Hongjoong gathered saliva in his mouth before spitting it into your own. A corner of his lips curled up in a smile as you swallowed with wide eyes. Unexpectedly, you stuck your tongue out again as if asking for more.

He scoffed, a little meaner than you expected. “I knew you would like that,” he tutted quietly to you. “I saw a request asking for it.”

Instead of granting your wish, he pulled you up and met your tongue with his in a sloppy kiss.

“I-I saw a comment I wanted to try, too,” you confessed breathlessly after the kiss.

Hongjoong let you go as he adjusted his cap. He wiped the remnants of your arousal from his chin with his shirt before moving the mask up. He raised a brow in curiosity. “Yeah?”

Placing your hands on his chest, you guided him, so the back of his knees hit the mattress. He sat down and placed his hands on your waist.

“Can I call you sir?” you asked softly, a little nervous about his answer.

Hongjoong’s eyes turned into half-moons, indicating his hidden smile. “I told you your chat was dirty.”

“Joongie,” you pouted lowly so no one but him could hear.

Hongjoong’s hands came to rest on your ass beneath the skirt. He massaged the flesh, causing your body to move toward his.

“Go ahead, baby,” he chuckled. “I’m willing to try it.”

You couldn’t stop your eyes from lighting up at his permission. “Just tell me to stop if it makes you uncomfortable.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

You smiled down at him but before you could do anything, he spun you around to face the camera again. He leaned down to your ear, voice dropping lower.

“You really thought you were going to take over now?” he laughed haughtily. “You’re lucky I’m letting you get away with shit right now.”

Your body stilled at his words, teeth coming out to bite your lower lip.

“Sorry, sir,” you replied. The word was foreign, but it excited you.

Hongjoong didn’t reply quickly as he digested the word. It was certainly different from what he normally heard, yet he didn’t hate it. He still favored when you called him by his name instead, but since you weren’t allowed to do that now, sir would have to do. Plus, he liked the air of superiority that came along with the title.

“I think I could get used to that,” he whispered in your ear, causing goosebumps to rise along your skin. “Help me take off my pants?”

By that, you knew he wanted you to do it all, but you didn’t mind. You started to turn to face him, but he held you still.

“No, do it from here,” he instructed. “I want them to admire what they can’t have.”

You’re not sure what had come over Hongjoong since you knew he wasn’t a big fan of you exposing your body to strangers. In spite of that, you had to admit his words had arousal drip between your legs. You loved when he reminded you that you were his.

You nodded, reaching behind you to find his belt buckle. Your hands brushed against his bulge, and you took a detour to palm him through his pants. He hissed lowly, fingers digging into your waist. Your legs squeezed together when you felt how hard he was. While the dildo felt good, Hongjoong would always feel better.

“You better take off my pants now, pretty girl. You’re already on thin ice,” he said in your ear.

You’re not sure what his words meant. You knew you were doing stuff he usually wouldn’t allow, but he hasn’t punished you for them. You figured he was just being more lenient tonight. You didn’t think his words held any weight. However, he sounded a little sterner, so you adhered to his command.

Once you unclasped the belt, you hurriedly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Hongjoong’s eyes were on the monitors, switching from the one showing the camera’s sight to the one displaying your chat. The feeling of possessiveness was still lingering in him, but now he wasn’t so caught up in trying to hide you.

Hongjoong’s hands glided across your body, playing with your breasts for a moment before moving down your tummy and between your legs. They never stayed in one place for long—always making you crave more.

Your hands shoved at his pants, hinting at Hongjoong to lift his hips so you could push the material down. You slid down both his underwear and pants as best you could from your position. When Hongjoong saw you couldn’t pull down any further, he moved them down the rest of the way and kicked them to the side.

You began to glance back to see his cock that you loved, but a hand came up and forced your face to look at the camera.

“Read the chat,” he commanded.

You whined when he denied you. You felt his hand brush your back as he pumped himself, so you pushed your ass against him, trying to feel him better.

He pushed you forward suddenly, a loud smack resounding in the room. The spot he had hit on your ass stung, and you reached back to grip his knees for balance.

“What did I say?” he questioned.

Your eyes moved to the chat screen. When you didn’t say anything, Hongjoong spoke.

“Out loud, baby.”

You cleared your throat as you started reading some of the messages.

“T-thank you, ‘daddy for you’ and ‘baby doll ninety-two,’ for the donations. Along with—”

“Not those,” Hongjoong chided as he peered over your shoulder, hand no longer touching his dick. You saw on the screen that he had rested them on the bed. There was a small amount of disappointment that his hands weren’t on you instead.

“Look at that,” he said. “They wish it was their cock instead of that stupid toy. They want to suck your nipples until you’re crying their names… Spit in your mouth and on your face until you’re covered in it.”

You had ignored those comments as you didn’t want Hongjoong to feel jealous, but you should’ve known those messages would catch his attention. Though, he didn’t seem as upset at them as you had anticipated.

“Do you want that?” he asked. “You want one of your viewers to touch you instead?”

You shook your head frantically. “I only want you, sir.”

“Is that so?” he hummed.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” he prompted.

“Yes, sir,” you corrected. Hongjoong has always been controlling in the bedroom, but this was slightly different, and it thrilled you.

“Hm. Are you sure? Look at all those people wanting to ruin you,” he replied. You could see his eyes had moved to your face through the screen. You caught his fiery gaze. God, you wanted him to touch you again. You wanted to bring his hands on your body, but he didn’t seem to be in the mood to be controlled.

“But they’re not you, sir.”

Hongjoong scoffed as if the thought of one of them in his place amused him. “That’s exactly right, baby. Who’s the only one who gets to ruin you?”

Your thighs were rubbing together as Hongjoong stared at you intensely. “You, sir.”

“So, what does that make you?”

Hongjoong finally touched you.

He had you take a few steps forward as he stood behind you. He gently pulled your arms behind your back, holding them there as he adjusted his length to rest against the cleft of your ass.

“Answer me,” he said when you didn’t reply.

“Yours. It makes me yours,” you stuttered, feeling him glide the tip of his cock along your folds. You had forgotten his title, but he didn’t seem to care about it for now.

“Say it louder. I want them to hear you clearly.”

“I’m yours,” you repeated, raising your volume to ensure your mic picked up your voice. “I’m only yours.”

Pleased with you listening to his directions, Hongjoong buried himself in your warm heat.

Your mouth fell open in a lengthy moan when he slid all the way. Your legs quivered ever so slightly at being a little sensitive from your previous orgasm.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he rasped.

Hongjoong looked at you in the monitor, loving the way you were pushing your chest toward the camera as your ass pressed against his pelvis. The sight was enticing, and he saved a mental picture of it.

Hongjoong slowly slid out of you before thrusting back in, a small smirk on his face when he watched your chest move. He continued this motion, letting the sound of his skin slapping yours roughly echo in the room. Upon reading the comments, he moved a hand to your throat. He squeezed the sides of your neck to give you enough pressure to make your eyes roll back and a whimper escape. The act wasn’t new to you both, but you always loved when he did it.

“Your chat is right,” he huffed. “You do look like a slut right now.”

Your walls squeezed around him, and Hongjoong grunted lowly behind you. He eased the pressure on your throat, allowing air to flow better as he adjusted both your bodies, so you were sideways to the camera.

Seeing more comments spurred his quickened pace. He wanted them to feel jealous they weren’t the ones fucking into you, but some of the comments were criticizing him. Saying they bet they could fuck you better. Make you scream louder. Maybe he shouldn’t be letting the comments get to him. After all, he was the one with you. However, the idea of you leaving him for someone better had an almost animalistic feeling overcome him.

He pounded into you, holding your arms behind your back and watching his cock disappear between your folds. You were moaning, trying your hardest to keep your footing as he jolted you forward. It helped that he had secured your arms.

Hongjoong pulled out suddenly, causing you to whine loudly at the empty feeling. He moved to lie down on the bed, carefully pulling you on top of him. You straddled his body and pushed his shirt up. He quickly removed the material, mindful of his cap. Your hands instantly glided up his torso. Hongjoong let you touch him while he aligned the tip at your entrance again. He wasted no time in pushing your hips down, engulfing his hard cock with your pussy.

He groaned at the feeling, leaning his head against the mattress as you started to roll your hips.

You hooked a finger on his mask and waited for his approval before pulling it down. You kissed him hastily, hands coming up to cup his face since you couldn’t tangle them in his hair.

Hongjoong held your waist firmly, guiding your body up and down. Although you were doing a lot of the work, you let him set the pace—which was rather speedy. Your mouth moved away from his. Breathing heavily, you used your energy to bounce on his dick, moans and whines leaving your mouth. You loved how full you felt as he slid against your walls. The stretch of his girth had you feeling a familiar pleasure.

“That’s it, baby,” he murmured, watching you from below. His words encouraged you to move faster, however, you couldn’t keep the pace you set for long. Your legs started to become sore, but you needed to keep moving. You needed to come as did he. The idea of not being able to continue much longer had you crying out.

“What is it, hm?” he asked, though he had a feeling what your whine was about.

“N-need your help, Joongie,” you pouted, voice low.

“But you’re doing so well,” he cooed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You stared down at him, finally able to see his full face. He looked so handsome staring at you, mouth slightly raised in a smile.

You shook your head, slowing down your movements. “You’re better. Please?”

“What are you asking for, pretty girl?” His arms trailed up and down your sides, not caring that you had now completely stilled on his lap.

“Need you to take over—to f-fuck me,” you pleaded, eyes blown out and needy.

He grinned and put his mask back in place before sitting up. He wrapped one arm around your body as he adjusted the position. Your lips pulled into a lazy smile, and you draped your arms over his shoulders, so your body was pressed against his.

Once he felt stable, he started to buck his hips up. You gasped at the feeling of his skin hitting yours; the sound had you squeezing around his cock.

His thrusts slowed to a stop when he felt your arousal drip down his dick, a gravelly moan slipping from his mouth.

“Shit, you’re leaking down my cock, baby girl,” he hissed, hands dragging your body up until just his tip remained. He loved seeing how wet he made you. He eased you back down, earning him a beautiful sigh from your lips.

He paused his movements to look at the screen, mentally reminding himself to have his way with you in front of a mirror in the future. He wanted you to see yourself take him—to see your face morph with pleasure.

Hongjoong then unhooked your arms and guided your hands on your ass. “I want them to see how much of a slut you are.”

You mewled at his words, understanding what he wanted as you spread your cheeks to give the camera a better view of Hongjoong sliding in.

“Of course, they like that,” he growled and then continued his movements; however, he didn’t gradually reach a quick pace, he just started there. His hips slammed up to yours, forcing your body to jolt up and down his chest as you laid there and took what he was giving you.

“Look at you take my cock like a good girl,” he praised through clenched teeth, his gaze on the monitor. He eased his speed for a moment. The steady roll of his hips felt delightful. “I bet you love having people watch you get fucked. Hm? Am I right? You want them to see how I split you open?”

You nodded, whimpering, “Yes, sir.”

Hongjoong hummed while he continued to push into you. He moaned, feeling your cunt suck him back in. Not only did your audience like this view, but he did as well. Seeing your pussy stretch to fit him made him go faster, needing to see you leak his cum.

“Wanna’ come, sir,” he heard you cry into his shoulder. “Need to come.”

“Go ahead. I want to see you fall apart on my dick, baby,” he replied, hands moving from your body to get a sturdier position. He began slamming into you. Each movement had you nearing your climax.

Soon enough you came with a loud whine. Your legs shook, and your hands grabbed his shoulders for support.

Hongjoong came after a few more rough thrusts. His breathy moans were next to your ear as he held you still against him. You clenched your walls around him, wanting to milk him for everything he could give you. You soon slumped against his chest.

He smiled behind his mask and wrapped his arms around your body. You did the same to him, letting both of you take a breather. The stream was forgotten momentarily as you basked in the feeling of your boyfriend’s touch. Hongjoong caressed you gently, massaging your body in various places.

After a few minutes, he carefully pulled out and laid you on the bed, face down.

He raised your hips slightly and spread your ass to watch as his cum dripped from your spent cunt. While it was mostly for his pleasure, there was a small part of him that wanted the chat to see how well he fucked you.

“You’re mine, love,” Hongjoong whispered. You nodded in agreement with a hum, too tired to concur verbally.

He dipped a finger in your entrance, causing you to squirm from sensitivity. He chuckled softly and scooped up some of his cum on his fingers. Hongjoong slipped his digits in his mouth, sucking the substance off as he moved to your setup.

He watched the messages come in quickly. A smirk appeared on his lips seeing the majority of them were about how they envied him. They wished they were the ones who just fucked you.

His eyes flickered to the screen capturing you. Your hips had fallen on the mattress, and your breathing was calming down. You were simply laying there, tired.

Seeing your exhausted state, he raised a hand in front of the camera. He gave a wave before ending the stream. After triple checking it was truly off, he removed his cap and mask. He shook out his hair a few times and then strolled to the bed.

“That was fun,” you murmured sleepily.

Hongjoong rubbed a soothing hand up and down your back. You smiled at his comforting touch and hauled yourself into a sitting position.

“Did you have fun, Joongie?” you wondered. It was difficult to tell as his face was beginning to rest in a frown.

“I did,” he started as he sat on the edge of the bed. You tilted your head in confusion since he didn’t look like he had fun. “But I think you deserve a punishment for how you acted during the stream.”

That woke you up a bit.

“W-what? But I was good,” you sputtered, a pout appearing on your features.

He chuckled darkly. “Were you? Moving when I told you not to? Touching me when that’s not what I asked for? That’s you being good?”

Your shoulders sagged as he recalled your previous actions. “I-I thought you were okay with it.”

“You know I shouldn’t have to tell you things twice. Now come here,” he instructed, patting his lap. You hesitated for a second but quickly laid down at his narrowing gaze.

One of his hands flipped up the skirt you still wore. He rubbed your ass, pleased to see his cum still between your legs. Then suddenly his hand came down on one of your cheeks, which had you yelping.

“Count.”

The next time Hongjoong met up with his friends, there was an awkward tension in the air. Seonghwa and Yunho had a difficult time looking at him. It got even worse when you accompanied him. Hongjoong wasn’t sure what was up with them until it dawned on him as he walked by their rooms. Moaning and grunting came from their rooms, but instead of seeing you on screen, it was another woman. They must have watched your stream when he guest-starred. There was no doubt that they had figured out who he was by how they were acting. Part of him wondered if they got off on it even after they discovered who you both were.

There was some relief knowing that they weren’t watching your streams anymore, or at least if they did, he didn’t know. However, a darker side of him was disappointed they stopped. Hongjoong wanted to gloat in their faces about how he was able to feel your tight cunt around him instead of them. Maybe even have you wear skimpy outfits around them to just increase their jealousy.

It sounded extremely wrong and entitled when he thought of it, but ever since that stream, he couldn’t help but have an extra boost of confidence. Though he hasn’t come on your show since. You were a little upset, worried even, that he didn’t like it. However, he simply wanted to not feel pressured into fucking you a certain way. Yes, he did like feeling smug at that moment, but he didn’t expect it to last well after the stream. He wasn’t sure how healthy that was, so he kept his distance from that world.

When Hongjoong came by your home a few weeks later, you had just finished another live stream. There was a slight sheen of sweat covering your skin, and you were wearing a robe. You greeted him with open arms and a loving kiss.

“I didn’t know you were going to have one so early,” he observed, realizing it was a little earlier than usual. You shrugged.

“I was horny and thought, why not?” you replied.

Hongjoong frowned. “You could have called me.”

You giggled and grabbed his hand, leading him to the bathroom as you started a bath. “I don’t want to just have sex with you, Joongie. I want cuddles, movie nights, dinner dates,” you listed off.

You checked the water’s temperature before plugging the drain so it could fill. You added some soap, watching bubbles begin to form.

“We can still have those,” he replied.

“I know,” you said with a gentle smile.

You slipped off your robe, letting it pool on the floor before sinking into the warm water. A sigh left your lips as you felt relaxed. Hongjoong came and sat on the edge of your sunken tub. He took your hand when you reached for him.

You continued, “But I want to focus on building our relationship without having sex involved.”

“You’re saying you’re tired of having sex with me?” he asked, a little offended. You shook your head as you leaned forward to turn off the water.

There was the tell-tale sign of another mini tantrum. His mouth tugged down, and his shoulders slouched. For such a tough guy in bed, he sure was a big brooding baby. However, you dealt with it all because you really liked him.

“No, silly,” you answered, sitting back against the edge and resting your head on the pillow you kept there. “I just don’t want you to feel like you always have to do the two-person-tango with me every time we hang out.”

“I don’t feel pressured too. I like it. You feel good,” he murmured the last part. He brought his other hand to yours, lifting it up as he gently massaged your palm.

“You’re cute, Joongie,” you commented. “I guess I’ll keep you around.”

Hongjoong huffed, eyes rolling at your teasing. “What are you talking about? You’re never getting rid of me now.”

“I’m okay with that,” you smiled widely at him.

Hongjoong’s heart pounded in his chest as you stared up at him with adoration. He leaned down and gave your lips a soft kiss.

When he pulled away, you chased after him. He chuckled at that and granted you one more kiss before moving away completely.

“I’ll always be here for you, love—whether that’s sexually or not. I like you for your personality, not only your body,” he said.

“What about my face?” you playfully asked.

Hongjoong let out a teasing sigh. “Your face’s alright.”

“Ass,” you gasped, flicking up some water at him.

He laughed, shielding his face from your attack. “Kidding, baby. I think you’re the most gorgeous human to walk the earth.”

“Now you’re just kissing ass,” you replied.

Hongjoong smiled, going back to massaging your hand. He gave you a wink when he said, “I’ll gladly kiss yours.”

“Shut up, Kim,” you laughed as you hit him playfully on the arm. “Now sing me a song as I prune.”

Your eyes drifted close, and you let yourself enjoy the calming sensation of his fingers pressing into your skin combined with the warm water against your body.

“You always want me to sing,” he whined.

“Because you have a nice voice. Now, sing, please?” you asked.

He sighed as he relented. “What song?”

“Wannabe by the Spice Girls.”

He snorted, hands pausing in his ministrations to stare at you. He remembered how you would sing it around your home—hell and even his, dancing and using a spatula as a microphone. Needless to say, he (unfortunately or fortunately) knew the words.

“Seriously?” he questioned.

You peeked an eye open at him.

“Yes.”

Upon seeing your earnest expression, Hongjoong began singing. He felt extremely silly and embarrassed as the lyrics left his lips. However, the happiness that spread across your face made it all worthwhile. He would sing ten more cheesy songs if it made you smile. That’s not something he foresaw changing in the future.

A/N: Thank you for reading! 🥰

For my “shy/silent” readers, I’ve created a feedback form where you can share your thoughts on my fics in a more anonymous and private way. ^-^

©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

#kdiarynet #ateezlovenet #pirateeznet #hongjoong smut #ateez smut #atz smut #ateez fanfic #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x you #hongjoong fanfic #ateez pwp #atz pwp #hongjoong pwp #mimikookie writes

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heartscrypt · 9 months

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Do you have any headcanons for transfem Riddle

OH BOY DO I EVER. sorry this is going to be a HELLISH long post i have been saving all my thoughts

- before riddle realizes she's a girl she does the thing of like. "mother i want to be like you" and mimicks her mother a lot (this is because her mother is the only female figure in her life and riddle doesn't Actually want to be her mom she wants to be what her mom Is which is a WOMAN). her mother, being an overbearing control freak, is far too pleased by this (because she enjoys the idea of a child who is a second version of her)

- never goes as far as trying to wear her mother's dresses or putting on her mother's makeup because touching her mother's personal items feels like a death sentence regardless of how badly she wants to dress up. instead settles for encouraging her mother to buy them matching clothing so that riddle can dress a little more femininely while also flying under the radar

- she realized she was a girl around the time she started sneaking out to see chenya and trey. mostly because they would start talking about themselves when they were playing. chenya especially has always been ambiguously gendered even as a kid (and occasionally i think of trey as transmasc) so they were kind of her gateway to the concept of "you don't have to be the gender you were assigned at birth"

- she grew up with a very black and white view of gender though so she initially refused to come to terms with the fact that she was transfem when chenya + trey brought it up as a possibility. denied it adamantly and insisted that maybe it wasnt true for them but She was confined to the gender she was at birth despite however she felt

- in response chenya just started referring to her using she/her anyways. lol. sending this girl into a crisis by using her proper pronouns before she even comes to terms with the fact that those are her proper pronouns

- approached the subject of wanting to be a girl Once with her mom. her mom reacted like ?what and riddle got scared and immediately backed down

(note: this is because riddle is terrified of her mom's reaction to literally Anything that doesn't fit her vision of what riddle Should be, not necessarily because riddle's mom is transphobic. it's an easy route to say she's transphobic since she's. You know. The Worst. but i have to remind you all that you can be a shitty person even if you're not transphobic and also i think transphobia hcs in fictional universes where transphobia could plausibly not exist are cornyyyy boooooo why would you want transphobia to exist in canon /hj)

- socially transitioned as soon as she came to nrc. like marched up to crowley's office as soon as freshman orientation was over and demanded to change her gender on all school documentation. girl relax its been like an hour

- has not had the means to medically transition yet (her mother has complete control over her medical records) but has been researching the effects of hrt on her own time. it's part of her "studies to be a medical mage" (wink)

- in her freshman year she's still not used to being socially out despite having charged into it at full speed so. she uses heartslabyul rules as a cover of sorts so she can justify to herself things like putting on eyeliner and wearing heels (because that's tradition for the heartslabyul housewarden, not because she wants to. Obviously). fighting invisible demons

- the last time trey saw riddle was when she was still trying to fit into her assigned gender at birth so she's so incredibly nervous meeting him again this time with the knowledge that she's a girl. she knows he'll be accepting because hes. Trey. but it still feels strange. however he is her biggest supporter 🔥🔥🔥 one of her first gender euphoria moments is when he introduces her to cater as one of his childhood best friends and uses the correct pronouns the entire time while referring to riddle's past closeted self. she nearly cries

- deuce (cis) is way too enthusiastic about being an ally. he wears his he/him pronoun badge with pride. addresses riddle as ma'am. drinks his respect women juice. maybe puts a little Too much emphasis on riddle being a lady to the point where riddles like Ok this is too much.

- riddle and vil are baby transfem + elder transfem solidarity. this is honestly just canon if you read the halloween riddle vignette. but im gonna take it one step further and say vil helps riddle gradually feel more comfortable with her identity without feeling the need to justify her actions with some arbitrary rule. also instructs her on how to do makeup because riddles never done anything like that pre-nrc

- cater (genderfluid, loves to experiment on both sides of the gender spectrum when it comes to fashion) definitely regularly insists on taking riddle out to buy cute clothes and dresses. riddle bristles at the idea of being so frivolous when the only thing she Needs to wear at nrc is the uniform but she actually finds herself enjoying the little outings. after they go shopping they'll go to a nice cafe so that riddle can get a cute sweet treat and cater can post it on his magicam without actually having to consume anything sweet himself. they are friends :')...

- ohhhh thinking about their shopping trips is so </3 i love them so much. riddle has old lady fashion taste (tfw your middle aged mom is the only female figure in your life for 16 years and all she wears is dresses that look like theyre from the 17th century) and cater is just a little appalled. says the clothes riddle picks out aren't even vintage they're just Old. riddle retorts that the clothes cater picks out make no sense style-wise. she thinks things like crop tops and ripped jeans are stupid as a concept ("where's the rest of the shirt?" and "why would you want to buy damaged pants?" are common questions cater must endure when shopping for any type of modern fashion with riddle around)

- ace (transmasc guy) likes to torment riddle with gender-affirming misogyny. it's a joke that it is only funny to him. like he'll go "girls 🙄 all they do is nag" (he says its funny because he used to be a girl ok he's allowed to say that) whenever riddle starts bossing him around and riddle gets sooo fucking madhdDGDHHFH

#twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #jamie talks #txt post #the public forum #holy shit this is fucking LONG #sorry guys. if they didn't want me to post paragraphs about transfem riddle they shouldn't have made her transfem #idk what to tell yall #thems the breaks

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justanotherdumbteenboy · 10 months

Text

A little rant over the why I consider that Todoroki Shouto is autistic

Disclaimer: As always, this is just one of my many theories. Please don’t attack me for this, if you don’t like it, scroll and continue with your life.

This is the third mha character that I have analysed, and I also think he is the least likely to be autistic (strangely enough because he is also the one more often read as autistic). This is because a lot of his actions can also be read as trauma responses rather than autistic traits, however, this is your friendly reminder that autistic people can (and are actually statistically more likely) to have PTSD. For Shouto, I think it is both autism and C-PTSD.

This post HAS manga spoilers!

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Insistence on sameness, and difficulty dealing with change

Even though this is not explicitly said anywhere (as far as I know), it’s something that you can definitely notice if you look very closely.

Todoroki remodelled his entire dorm in a day for it to be the same as it was in his home for comfort. He even went to the extent of changing the floors. That shows that he has difficulty dealing with transitions (moving from home, to the dorms).

He is also a very stubborn person, shown in his insistence to only use his ice side for so long. And even though we know this is connected to his trauma towards fire, even after he starts overcoming that, he still heavily relies on his ice, and has a tendency (almost a routine) to always using it first.

Strong sense of justice

Todoroki has an incredible sense of justice, and not in the ´follow every rule’ way like Iida. Todoroki has never hesitated to break the rules to stand up for what he thinks is right. He literally considered torture in USJ arc, if it meant gaining information that could potentially safe lives. In the Kamino Ward arc, he decided to break the rules and go and save Bakugou because he knew that’s what was right (even if it was illegal). He followed Bakugou and Izuku even though it was dangerous and he technically shouldn’t have, but he still went and fought alongside them. In the ‘World Heroes’ Mission’ movie he didn’t hesitate to help Izuku and tell him how to escape even though he was literally accused of mass murder. I think there are many examples of this in general.

It also shows that he is a very loyal person, which isn’t an autistic trait (I think), just a very cool thing about him.

Recognizes patterns easier than his peers

I have two specific examples for this.

Calling himself a hand crusher. He definitely recognized a pattern there. He fought with Midoriya -> He injured his hand. He fought with Iida -> Iida injured his hand. Therefore Hand injuries are caused by him (under this logic).

He was quick to figure out why the villains were at the USJ, and that they definitely had a solid plan. (In a similar way, Tsuyu did the same, who I also headcanon as autistic, but that’s off topic).

Speaking differences/struggles

Todoroki has what can be described as a ‘flat tone’. There are only some very specific scenes where he raises his voice, but in general, his voice tone never really changes. Even when delivering jokes, or sarcastic comments, his tone is always the same.

Struggles with social cues and reading other people tones

I believe this is one of his most recognized traits. He has a lot of difficulty understanding sarcasm and exaggeration when it comes from others, even being told by others that he is ‘too clueless’ (Mount Lady, and Min*ta). He takes things very literally, a good example of this being when Mt Lady told him that girls would die for his smile, and he took it very seriously, to the point where not even under Mr. Smileys quirk he didn't actually smile.

He also struggles ‘reading the room’ and social cues, having in mind the way that he is convinced that he is friends with Bakugou. (He is. Bakugou is just in denial/hj. They definitely care for each other, and they ARE friends. But Todoroki considered him a friend way before Bakugou even considered it).

Says things directly

Todoroki says things with 0 to no hesitation. He is not afraid at all to call people out. He says things like they are, he doesn't sugar code anything. There are many examples of this, like him fighting with the chief of the police, every possible interaction he has had with Endeavor, him saying that he didn’t even notice Hagakure was with him in the USJ, him telling Midoriya that he is objectively better than him and others. Trauma dumping on Midoriya during the sports festival. This might come out as rude sometimes, but he definitely (mostly) doesn't do it with bad intentions.

‘Flat’ facial expressions

Same as his voice, his facial expressions don’t really change, and it could be argued that they don't match his emotions. For example when he froze Sero during their fight in the sports festival, and even though he didn’t really looked angry, he apologises and tells him that he was angry.

Comfort food and being a ‘picky’ eater (term that I don’t personally like, but I’m using to make a point)

Shouto really likes Soba. Especially cold soba. He is seen eating it in the anime, and it is stated in the character profile of the manga’s second volume. He even offers it to Midoriya when he is sad (that was really cute by the way, I do that too. You’re sad? Let me get some chocolate for you!)

It being cold can be because of two things.

Sensory issues about food temperature.

Him not liking boiling water because of what happened with his mother.

Either way, it is canon that he loves cold soba.

Genetic factor

I am not here to do an Endeavor analysis, but ASD is considered to have a genetic factor and Endeavor has some autistic traits as well, including fixated interests, saying things directly, difficulty with volume control, and others.

This is also your friendly reminder that autistic people are NOT saints and can commit crimes, mistakes, abuse etc.

Moving on because I don’t enjoy talking about Endeavor /hj

Low empathy and difficulty reading other people emotions

Just like Bakugou, he struggles identifying and expressing his own emotions, and has difficulty relating to other people's feelings. I think a perfect example of that is his interaction with Iida during the Hero Killer arc. He also stuggled with this a lot after Dabi revealed he was his brother, and he definetly had problems grieving him.

He also doesn't really know how to show empathy, I think that’s why he offered soba to Deku. He didn’t know what else he could do to help and show that he cared. And he is usually looking for solutions rather than offering support.

(not related picture, I just thought his face was really funny here).

Stimming

Admittedly, I couldn’t find many examples of stimming in him. But I noticed that he has a tendency to rub his finger when he is thinking.

Special interest

Becoming a hero, and in a way, All Might. I don’t have much proof of this rather than a vibe, but he doesn’t have any other interests or hobbies apart from this (apart from reading manga), which leads me to believe it’s his special interest.

Other details that I want to mention (aka, the headcanon zone)

He is often seen wearing sweaters, which I believe can be a consequence of sensory issues, and he has a very high pain tolerance. He is very observant as well.

I don’t have proof of this, but I headcanon that he is like me, and doesn’t notice that there is something wrong with him unless it’s extreme. I rarely notice that I need to go to the bathroom until I’m about to pee myself. I live constantly dehydrated because I forget to drink water and I don't really get thirsty. And I don’t notice I’m in pain unless it’s pretty extreme.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

That’s it, thank you for reading! I love Todoroki. When I started the series he very quickly became one of my favourite characters.

Next up in my list, Shigaraki!

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thehollowwriter · 1 month

Note

7, 17, 27, 37, 47, 57, 67, 77, 87, 97 for the octoquartet on the relationship aak game? If thats too much you can only pick the ones you wanna do!

Aaaaah thank you! I'll do em all!

7. Who likes forehead kisses? Who likes hand kisses? Who likes neck kisses?

Finn likes neck kisses a lot, actually. Azul and Jade like hand kisses and Floyd likes forehead kisses, but none of them would complain if it was changed up a bit.

17. Who steals whose clothes? Does their significant other mind?

Finn does like wearing his partner's clothes (he was very amazed by this discovery during his first year) but only during the holidays when they're alone. It's 3x too big for him but he likes it. Floyd likes to wear the others' clothes (even Jade's but ofc that's platonic) on bad days because their scent makes him feel better- only loose clothes though.

Azul is adamant he doesn't so such a thing, but his boyfriends still find their jerseys and scarves mysteriously vanishing.... Jade isn't quite as big on it as the other three, but he will wear their scarves from time to time.

27. Who tends to drive on long journeys? Who navigates?

While they don't drive, if they did Azul would drive and either Jade or Finn would navigate. (Jade would give the wrong directions for funsies so please put Finn in charge)

37. Who is more likely to avenge their S/O if they were hurt or killed?

All of them? Look at them! They're all going to do it 100% and it is not going to be pretty.

47. If it ever came down to it, who is turning to the darkside to save the other?

Again, all of them. They are technically on the darkside already, though, aren't they?

57. Who reminds the other to wear a coat when it's cold out?

Jaaaadeeee. We love our caring eel. Floyd wouldn't bother and Azul and Finn both have a "lol suck it up" way of viewing it.

67. Who is more vocal? Who is more experienced?

Fun fact I was just sitting trying to figure out wtf this meant and then I realised they meant in the naughty sense 😭

It's Azul/j

77. What is something they would never forgive the other one for doing/saying?

Betrayal in any way, shape, or form. And that includes cheating. They are poly, so it isn't a problem if they date other people, but like any poly relationship they have set rules and boundaries on what's OK or not, so violating those boundaries is a very big betrayal of trust. They do insult and undermine each other for fun a lot, so there aren't too many things on the list? I suppose seriously harming would be one but like... Finn and Floyd fight for fun.

87. If they ever lost one another in a public place, how do they find the other?

If it's Finn, they go to find either the nearest art gallery or coffee shop or phone him. If it's Jade they go to the nearest place with mushrooms, if it's Azul they just listen for his smug ass voice (/j they phone him) and if it's Floyd they look for the nearest ruckus.

97. How do they wake their S/O up? Is it difficult to rouse them?

Finn is really difficult to wake up on a dreamless night because he is getting that proper sleep he rarely gets, and so he's like the dead. When he did have dreams, he's like a mouse on the lookout for a cat. He wakes up the others with little kisses. Azul probably just shakes them awake or pulls off the covers (he's an asshole like that/hj) and Jade is the draw the curtains type of guy. Floyd either wakes no one up and goes back to sleep or flips them over in bed ufkdisidf.

Tagging: @distant-velleity @krenenbaker @theleechyskrunkly @officialdaydreamer00 @kitwasnothere @cynthinesia @cyanide-latte @oya-oya-okay @elenauaurs @jovieinramshackle for octoquartet stuff :P

#quinn quips #quinn answers #quinn's friends #lilian #finn clearcove #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #octavinelle #twisted wonderland #twst oc #oc x canon #oc ask game

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tiger-willow · 4 months

Text

I’ll be honest, The Christmas fireplace stream is very relaxing. It has a sort of comfy/comfort feeling just sitting with Cucurucho. Like for real I’m sipping tea and dunking my cookies in milk. I kinda wish I could have a day just chilling with Cucurucho weather it’s Christmas or not. I absolutely love this!!! (Also Richas just sneaking around like a little gremlin is very cute and funny as well as the appearance of the capybaras, Frirusflais and a random rat is nice too)

(edit: also BADBOYHALO?! WHAT IS GOING ON LMAO?!?

(Second edit: TUBBO TOO!?! AND NOW THEY ARE PLAYING MUSIC?!)

(Third edit: FOOLISHGA TOO LMAO!? And Tina <3)

(Fourth edit: this crazy haha, the stream went chaotic so quickly and I regret speaking so soon LMAOOO)

(Edit five: BRO CUCURUCHO JUST FUCKING DIPPED LMAOOOOO)

Edit six: OH SHIT NEVERMIND HES BACK! THEY’VE BEEN CAUGHT! CUCURUCHO PLEASE SAVE US FROM THIS LOUD CHAOS LMAO /hj)

(Started writing this since 7:10 EDT and just started editing after BBH showed up lol)

~Anyways I’m going to sleep lmao, Merry Christmas and happy holidays! <3 :]

#qsmp #qsmp live blogging #Tiger_Willow posts

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lorkai · 1 year

Note

Hello!!!

How r uuuu?

Could I request a little angst one-shot for Asmo please?

Maybe he cheats on his s/o while his s/o is away for a long time and then Asmo gets caught when he (the s/o) comes home?

(I used he/him pronouns because i'm more comfortable but any pronouns are fine ofc)

Thank you so much and feel free to ignore!and sorry if I' late with my answers!

Feel free to decline!

And thank you so much for always popping in my inbox it makes me so happy! 😍

*･゜ﾟ A/N: I was late with this request, but in my defense Tumblr ate this a couple of times and deleted my last draft. I was this close 🤏 to throwing hands /hj. Hopefully you enjoy this n come request more times, dear! ⁽⁠⁽⁠ଘ⁠(⁠ ⁠ˊ⁠ᵕ⁠ˋ⁠ ⁠)⁠ଓ⁠⁾⁠⁾

*･゜ﾟ Warning: Cheating, nudeness, implied sex, swearing, angst, Hurt/comfort, chapter 16, Male!Reader (he/him pronouns), I proofread twice, sorry for any mistakes.

"What's up, MC?" Luke asked quietly, his small hand still holding tight to yours as you two crossed the streets. He was innocent but not foolish and you knew his eyes searched for something inside yours. He was like Simeon in that same way, always wanting to help, well, like father, like son, you thought with a faint laugh.

A laugh that left your lips quickly.

"I have a weird feeling. You know that weird feeling that something is going to happen at any moment? It's like that." You explained, moving your free hand back and forth as you spoke. If Solomon was there you knew he'd tell you it was because of your magic or something, but you knew that wasn't it. It was a suffocating, vicious feeling clinging to your chest. An unknown certainty that something or someone was trying to warn you. "Maybe it's just my imagination. Or anxiety, anything like that. Don't worry about me, Luke. Let's focus on getting these cupcakes for the brothers, okay?"

The very upset boy made a sign that he wanted to say something, moved his head from side to side in denial and contained himself with a big sigh. Whatever he was going to say, Luke judged it to be something you didn't need to hear at the moment, so he simply held your hand a little tighter as if he was afraid you'd suddenly disappear and he hurried to recount the sound his shoes made against the asphalt of the street, continuing to mutter to himself about the cupcakes you two spent hours making.

But you felt his gaze on you and you felt his small hand trembling in your grip.

Luke didn't react well to your death when he heard about it. No one would react well to such news and this news could not possibly reach Celestial Realm lest Michael resolve to create another conflict with Devildom in order to save a poor soul who happened to be killed in demonic territory, who came to be persuaded to make pacts against your will. So Simeon never reported this to his superior nor confided this to anyone but he also made the decision to bring you to live with them in Purgatory Hall so you would be safe and he escorted you at all times to make sure Belphie didn't try anything stupid again.

It was suffocating, especially in the beginning, but you understood him and you understood Luke too, even though he was still a child, he was a cherub and had made it his mission to be your guardian angel and be with you. with you whenever I need.

It was a cute gesture. But it was him, Simeon and Solomon who got you through those dark days, getting out of bed when your thoughts raced over your head or when you finally processed that you had died and started crying hysterically, along with the quiet moments with Barbatos and Diavolo in the castle, greenhouse, garden and library. They healed you and helped you until you could face the brothers again, until you could bear the thought of being around them again after being constantly threatened by Lucifer, going through near-death situations, and literally dying by one of their hands. .

It was almost ironic how months after that event, you were running around with outsized excitement to tell them about how you and Asmo were officially dating. It was a truly magical day that one, a day that made you smile so much your cheeks ached and your lips ached from so many kisses exchanged with the avatar of lust. He was a very caring boyfriend and he was also there holding your hand when the breath hitched in your throat, when you felt weak or angry, when the world seemed about to collapse on top of you after a relapse, after a nightmare. He was there for every single one of those moments to support you and show you a shoulder to lean on, Asmo was sweet like that. The best.

The silence that followed was a little awkward. Definitely not the uncomfortable kind of silence after you've said something embarrassing to someone or told a bad joke that no one laughs at, but the suffocating kind of silence where you can't hear your own breath against the wind, as if the world had stopped around you and there was only you there in the middle of a dark, dirty and silent room, like an old horror movie. As the outlines of the House of Lamentation began to appear on the horizon, you felt your heart pound and annoying little tears infest your eyes, just like that time when you were in the attic fighting for your life.

"I knew it, something's wrong." Luke crossed his arms, looking at you with worry. The little angel muttered to himself all the ways Simeon used to soothe you and then he looked at you more calmly, bringing your own hand to your chest so you could feel your chest beating. "Mc, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. I'll do it with you if you want, but stay focused on the here and now."

It's cruel to think you laughed off his concerns. But it wasn't a panic attack you were having or anything like that, it was hard to explain to him, even though the words were on the tip of your tongue and your mind was struggling to remember them. Still, you followed his advice and regularized your breathing so that thoughts flowed more slowly in your head and you could think more clearly. "It's not that, little one. Like I said, it's just a bad feeling, but I don't know if I want to go in there anymore and apparently there are traces of magic in the air. Can you call Solomon or Simeon, please?"

You hesitantly kicked a rock out of your way and watched it roll down the street. The box of cupcakes you were holding was starting to make you nauseous with the cloying smell of chocolate and icing, but you took endured and hid what was going on on your face with an almost natural smile, watching as Luke hurriedly dialed the number of one of his friends as fast as he could. The young angel seemed more anxious and lost than you, mainly because he didn't know how to act if something serious happened and he knew well that not listening to his intuition could be a stupid thing to do. And even if he had magic he was still young and inexperienced, he needed the support of someone wiser and he knew it.

The voice on the other end of the line sounded calm and peaceful, but it got louder and more rushed as Luke explained what was going on and where you were. And the young angel didn't even have time to put his D.D.D in his pocket when the call ended, a few seconds later a black portal opened a few meters away from you and Solomon came out, hurried and arranging the characteristic cape on his shoulders. One look in your direction and he seemed to know what you felt, whether it was because he was a sorcerer or an extremely empathetic human you couldn't tell. His blue eyes focused hesitantly on the House of Lamentation, as if he felt the same way you did, and he swallowed hard, seeming to search for the right words.

"You feel it, don't you?" He asked. He motioned toward the house with his head and looked through the mask you'd tried to pull over your face to show that you were okay and that whatever you were feeling wasn't bothering you anymore. Angry, you bit your inner cheek, you hated when he read you that way. "No, it's not your imagination. There's a strange kind of magic surrounding the house and I believe it's overloading your senses, well our senses, it only affects humans, strangely curious if you ask me. It's almost like they want you to stay away from the house..."

The sorcerer seemed troubled by something, but he decided not to voice his thoughts until he had enough proof. It was how he was. And going towards you, he held your hand affectionately and let his magic run through your hand like a shield to protect you from that feeling. A chill spread through your arm and started running all over your body, it was strange and made you shiver several times, but the bad feeling finally dissipated and a sigh of relief escaped you along with a genuine smile.

"Under the circumstances I will be entering the House of Lamentation with you, just to make sure no harm comes to you." Said your mentor with a serious look that didn't belong on his smiling and suspicious face. But you had already made up your mind and you weren't going to back down just because a spell was trying to repel you so strongly that it messed with your feelings, you waved your hand as if his concern was something trivial but he understood what was going on behind the gesture and let out a nasal sigh.

Solomon lowered his eyes towards the box of cupcakes and nimbly stole one as he began to walk towards House of Lamentation, evading Luke's furious screams and his disapproving glare.

"Boys, let’s go or I will use my magic to steal all the other cupcakes and eat every single one of them in front of you." He laughed.

Luke, terrified by such a threat, ran after him and you tried to yell at him to be careful or he would drop all the cupcakes, but he didn't hear you. Stifling a small laugh you followed them with careful steps, thoughtful and feeling like a storm was about to hit you as soon as you set foot inside the house. That was one of the only moments you hated having inherited Lilith's angelic powers, wondering why you couldn't just be a normal human surrounded by ordinary, boring people.

But you soon scolded yourself and walked faster. Thinking about such things now was a little pointless and you didn't regret being a part of their family despite everything you'd gone through with them.

The sound of the piano playing was one of the first things that caught your attention. Contrary to your expectations the morning star was playing something deeply wistful and sad, almost as melancholy as the coffee he drank every morning and a sombre choir echoed through the mansion walls; suffocated, lifeless. The sound carried a somber air among the dimly lit halls of the house where shadows scurried along the walls and mocked you, and in the midst of your thoughts Luke held your hand firmly to show that he had your back.

The young angel didn't like the gloomy atmosphere and you understood him perfectly with just one look, outside the day is lighter and more peaceful and today is especially happy and light, because you and Asmo celebrated a year together.

And to commemorate such an important date you wanted to give him something handmade. Something he liked and after hours of trying to think of something, the twins suggested that you give him something sweet.

Also, giving something handmade to a person was one of the angelic courtship traditions Simeon had been teaching you. And you're sure Asmo would cry with joy when he realized what you were doing. You could already smile knowing how he was going to scream and shout to the whole world 'mc is the best boyfriend in the world' and that alone, after the presence of your mentor and his self-appointed guardian angel, served to completely expel the bad feeling that sat at the top of your stomach.

"What are they singing, Luke?" You asked the young angel, half whispering, leading the three of you to the music room. Warmth and the scent of cinnamon filled the air around you as you entered, silently setting things down on the table.

The angel, however, cocked his head to the side for a second and thought. Finally he shrugged. "It's an ancient angelic language, I'm not sure."

When the chorus ceased, the brothers who were gathered around the piano Lucifer was playing turned around and Mammon let out a frightened cry when he saw you. The avatar of greed tripped over its own legs and fell, knocking Levi who was the closest person to him at the moment and making everyone else laugh at him and his embarrassed expression. You couldn't help but stifle a laugh as you watched each one present and a twinkle crossed your eyes when you realized Asmodeus wasn't there, which was strange considering he loved to sing and dance, or just show off his skills to anyone who was willing to see.

Mammon got up and knocked the dust off his clothes. "Hey human, what is this? Is this a present for the Great Mammon?"

Levi snorted, barely containing the displeasure at his glare as he got up and checked that his cell phone was working. He soon looked towards the box of cupcakes on the table and took one - he had to secure his while Beel still hadn't noticed the sweet there. "Mc, if you're looking for Asmo, he's in his room. He said he needed to do his skin care routine."

You mumbled an alternate response and gripped your box of cupcakes tighter, suddenly feeling heavier than it was. Your heart was beating fast and the nervous smile on your face had the brothers chuckling softly, some of them patting you encouragingly on the shoulders and back.

Lucifer stood up and wrapped one of his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into a clumsy hug. "I'm sure he'll love it, Mc. Asmo has the two things he loves most here, do you know what they are?" Asked the elder in a tone he used when he tutored you in the laws of Devildom. But you denied it. "He has his favorite treats and he has you, the person capable of capturing his heart. Now go there, my good boy, surprise him."

A chorus of "good luck" and "you can do it" echoed through the music room and taking one last look in the direction where Luke had sat, talking animatedly with Beel about his recipes, you left towards Asmo's room. And you could still hear the brothers laughing and placing bets on how the avatar of lust would react to receiving their beautiful and simple gift, and after a while you heard nothing but your breathing and your pounding heart. A smile was already growing on your face with each step you took towards the rooms and you could smell the characteristic smell of cinnamon and chocolate, you could already feel his soft skin on your body when you were going to pull him into a hug, you could already feel the warm laughter on your neck, where Asmo loved to lay his face.

However, just as you had your hand in the air to turn the doorknob and enter that room, that damn room, you heard something. Something you didn't expect to hear, not when he promised that scenario would never happen and would be forever yours. The sounds of skin meeting skin, ragged sighs for air, and finally the bed slamming against the wall, you could, despite not wanting to, imagine the person and Asmo in the act, how he was holding them by the hands while looking into their eyes. Sweat trickling down his neck as he smiled and whispered promises. And your heart stopped beating in that instant, knowing that you and your gift wouldn't be enough for selfish Asmodeus and his new toy.

Lucifer was sorely wrong. Asmo might even love sweets, but he had just shown that he didn't love you, that he didn't love you with the same strength you loved him.

And you did what you knew how to do best. You kicked that door so hard it slammed into the wall and alerted the two traitors to your presence, but the worst part was seeing how they were still together, lying in the same bed you once lay in. And the dreadful expression on Asmo's face was enough to tell you that he had been doing this for months, but that he didn't want to be caught in the act.

The avatar of lust moved fast, backing away from the demon and donning a robe while stammering the dumbest excuse he could think of at that moment. "Mc... It's not what it seems." He said after so much stuttering, his face visibly desperate. Asmo no longer had a pretty voice in your ears, irritating and loud, drawing out each syllable as he prayed for help, for something to happen that would take your attention away from him. "I can explain, my love. Don't look at me like that... Please, angel."

But you decided to focus on the other demon who was covering themself with the sheet on the bed, smiling cheekily in your direction as if they didn't mind your presence. It was excruciating to wonder what that being in front of you had that you lacked, as obviously there had to be a reason Asmo cheated on you.

"Mc, say something!" He asked in an annoying whisper.

But all you could feel was rage running through your veins, a rage so great that the Satan's pact in your body was glowing green and your eyes followed every move your ex made. He was only a few feet away from you and he seemed to want to get closer to wrap you in his sweaty arms, the smell of sex wafting off him repulsively and with every step he took you took two more back. You didn't want contact with him, you didn't want anything else, and every moment in there felt like a moment when your sanity slipped away and you were consumed by something else.

You always knew you were in hell, surrounded by demons, but just at that moment, this place that was your second home looked like a real hell.

"Cheater, I didn't come to interrupt you. I came to give you this fucking shit I spent three hours doing like an idiot, I sincerely hope you choke and die while eating it. Goodbye."

The box of cupcakes landed at his feet, icing all over the carpet. And you watched the year you spent with him fade away with that gift, destroyed, stained by lies and all the promises that would never see the light of day. You felt stupid trusting him and giving him your heart. Maybe if you'd listened to the warnings from former exes, maybe if you'd thought a little harder you wouldn't be feeling all of this. Finally you turned to leave when he didn't respond, looking your way then at the cupcakes and then at the other demon he was fucking a few minutes ago, probably thinking about his ruined reputation.

Fists shaking with rage and tears almost running down your face, trying to breathe, trying to see something beyond the red.

"My angel, you are being unreasonable!" He shouted from the door. And that, my friend, caused you to snap and your entire vision was consumed by red, you don't normally confront people, but face to face with the demon that broke your heart you looked at him like he was a germ on the bottom of your shoe. "Give me a chance to explain myself."

"Let's get one thing straight, sweetie, I'm not your angel anymore. It's not hard to understand, your poor brain must understand something like that. Or are you just a pretty face?" Looking deep into his eyes you continued, filled with certainty that if you didn't say everything you needed to now, you would regret it later. "And another thing, I'm not blind, I saw what happened, I smell what happened, all the evidence is here and I wonder how your brothers will think of you after this news."

"Leave my brothers out of this!" He half-screamed, half-whispered, scared at the possibility. And threw himself at you, causing you to hit your back against the wall and glare at him. "Don't tell them anything!"

You barely managed to suppress the laughter that rose in your throat, pushing him away. "They will know yes, it's their right to know how dear brother ruined his relationship with their favorite human."

Asmo tried to retort, holding you tighter to stop you from leaving his room. But you punched him. And he in shock held his face, shedding tears as he looked at you, almost as if you were the traitor. Surely all the other demons he betrayed should have forgiven him, should have listened to him tell lies about how it would never happen again and that he loved them. But not you, you had a broken heart and a good rationale, if he loved you he wouldn't do this.

"Let him go, you don't love him, Asmodeus. And you know it." The other demon called out to him, legs still rubbing against each other as they looked at him expectantly. And you signaled him with your eyes, letting out a sneer.

"Yeah, Asmodeus, go play with your little toy. Don't you see how needy they are?"

With that said, you left his room taking a deep breath and clenching your fists so you wouldn't attack them both. Maybe demons and humans shouldn't really co-exist if they're all the same: they take, they take, and they're never satisfied until they've taken all they can. And even then, they keep taking it until there's nothing left but dust.

"Luke, Solomon, we have to go." You announced as you passed through the music room, successfully silencing the animated conversation they were having with the brothers with your stern tone of voice and frightening expression. The green in Satan's pact already told him that something very wrong had happened when you went to deliver your gift, something worse than annoyance if he didn't like it.

But neither Satan nor one of the brothers decided to question you right away, they let you collect your thoughts first. And Beel offered you a strawberry-flavored chewing gum, trying to stop the tremors in your hands and ease the tension in your shoulders. And even that chewing gum in his mouth tasted bitter.

"He didn't like it?" The little angel asked innocently, holding your hand as he looked at you with his expressive blue eyes, fearful.

You suppressed the torrent of negative feelings, took a deep breath and forced another smile. "He did something really, really bad and now I don't want to see him. Never again if that's possible."

That got the attention of the other brothers. Mammon was the first to step forward, expression already darkening as he asked. "What did he do, Mc?"

"What do you think he did?" Levi mumbled as if it were obvious, nodding at your watery eyes discreetly. "Asshole... even by his standards."

You didn't need to confirm anything. Your silence was answer enough to clear all of their doubts, to fill them with indignation and, in Satan's case, share your rage. And their gaze on you wasn't helping with the pressure and pain on you, about how you wanted to cry hysterically and still punch Asmo in the face again, and again and again until he could see what a disappointment he was in front of the huge mirror that worshiped his reflection.

And Solomon hugged your tense shoulders to demonstrate that you weren't alone, his wise eyes emanating an anger similar to someone who's been in the same situation. "Mc, it's gonna be okay. I promise you." He said.

"A betrayed trust cannot be mended, remember?" You lowered your eyes to the ground, took a deep breath, trying to find good words to explain the pain that spread throughout your chest, that made your lungs ache for air and choke your throat with sobs. "I... I just wish he would have said... That he would have ended things if he wasn't happy, wouldn't it be better?"

It would be better, but that was too much to expect from someone like Asmodeus. From one who lives to break hearts and delight only in what a momentary pleasure can bring, instead of caring about the important memories shared with the people he lives with, that he loves. Because he didn't just cheat on you, but his brothers too who you knew had a crush on you. He lost everyone's trust and he knew it.

"Sorry guys, but I want to leave. I can't stay here, not like this and I don't know if I'm capable of coming back."

Lucifer nodded. Unhappy, stern and holding back from marching into his brother's room and giving him the worst punishment he could think of at that moment. The older brother lowered his head. "There are no words capable of expressing how sorry I am for the pain caused by him, Mc. I honestly don't even know what to say, please go home, let your heart heal, we'll come to you if you need us."

"And I'll make sure that... That demon doesn't come near you or contact you." Mammon assured, seriously. He cupped your face between his warm hands and placed a kiss on your forehead, wiping away the tears that welled up in your eyes with his thumbs. And then he nodded at Solomon.

"I can make him have nightmares every night." Belphie was muttering under his breath, but you could hear him just fine. His human and demon form alternating every second, his tail swinging in the air aggressively as the youngest brother stared at the family portrait. Specifically Asmo's face, hanging on the wall. "You know MC, I can give you the best dreams of your life, just tell me what your heart desires and every night it will receive."

"I don't understand what's going on, but we have to go!" Luke squeezed your hand and pointed to the portal Solomon had conjured, behind you. The displayed place was far from Purgatory Hall, it was your favorite place in the human world, the place that gave you more comfort than anything and more than anything in the world you wanted to go there now.

Satan gave you the push you needed to finally move and your feet guided you there, away from them and the source of your pain. To get one step closer to healing your heart and repairing the damage he has done.

"Solomon, Luke, take care of him for us." Beel asked softly but firmly. He clutched his stomach between his hands, visibly uncomfortable with the atmosphere that had settled in the music room. Everyone was so full of mixed feelings about what happened.

And with a wave you two were gone. And it was for the best that the three of you left because the fight that broke out in the House of Lamentation wasn't something you needed to witness.

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romansstic · 2 years

Text

i’m having visions of you, hwang hyunjin.

hyunjin constantly has visions of his kindergarten princess. but, right when he’s at his lowest, what he believes as his guardian angel dressed in pink comes back to save him.

pairing: hyunjin x f!reader - reader is stated to be korean, sorry if this doesn’t fit you but it was the only way i thought would fit the story :(

genre: written fic, angst, fluff, idol life, hj hiatus era :(, childhood friends (?) to lovers, some graphic language (damn & fucking. let me know if i missed any!)

a/n: inspired by star lost from you @hyunjinspark ! all time fav author. pls don’t be afraid to point out mistakes! i made this at like... 1... 2 am...

might make a pt 2... idk lmao just maybe

2021, GANGDONG DISTRICT - ESCAPADE ARTS.

ding!

signaling an entrance, the girl in the front desk looked up. “hello, welcome to escapade arts! the perfect getaway place for artists like you!”

hyunjin nodded in acknowledgement.

the girl smiled at him, batting her eyes. god, just one day, please.

he sighed, crinkling his eyes to make it seem like he actually smiled under his mask. “hi, how do i sign up?”

“just fill the form and we’ll get you inside in no time!”

hyunjin grabbed the pen, he looked over the names in the sign up sheet. there were only a few, most of them already leaving right before his arrival.

hwang, h.

there seemed to be only one other person inside the work shop in this hour, so he decided why not? worst thing that will happen is that they’ll talk, go home, and just forget about each other.

no harm in having a little human interaction. lord knows he needs it.

ever since being sent to hiatus, hyunjin’s been self destructive - isolating himself from everyone. the members took it upon themselves to repeatedly bang and scream at his door just so he could get fed up and actually face them, even if it meant him getting mad.

chan gave him the idea to take a breather. go out in the real world. hyunjin needed to heal. he needed to take time to himself, in a healthy way.

and what better way than to indulge in something he’s passionate about that’s not dance. art.

hyunjin remembers how he got into art. he remembers it better than the back of his hand. it was the most crucial event that happened in his life. he could never forget.

how could he?

entering inside, hyunjin was greeted with a large assortment of canvases, tables, and various supplies. paint cans, paint brushes, and painted art works adorned the walls of the escapade arts walls.

it was a dream.

hyunjin was tranced. he had never seen something - some place - so simple yet so angelic at the same time. he could cry at how beautiful the scene was.

it reminded him of the girl of his dreams.

easels were sprawled all around. he almost didn’t notice the person painting on one of the canvases near the corner.

their area looked like a mess, for all one knows even more of a mess than he was. paint was all over their hands. but the person didn’t seem to care. they were too busy in their own to pay attention to anything else.

hyunjin wishes he could relate for it seems that a plethora of things surround his mind in any given moment. he could never focus on one thing and one thing only.

perhaps dance did. maybe performing did. but nevertheless, in those situations, he still feels the worry of how the bigger picture looked in the end.

they were immersed in art. they hadn’t a single care in the world; just them, paint, and a canvas. they looked angelic.

and hyunjin could recognize that angelic face anywhere.

hyunjin no longer felt like tearing up over the place, but the person.

after all this time?

after years of longing, yearning, reminiscing. the one person he’d always have visions of was finally here - right in front of his eyes.

is this real?

hyunjin rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, not believing the fact that this isn’t just a heavily descriptive, realistic, mind-boggling dream.

still, the angel sat there. his angel.

he stood there like an idiot. if anyone else saw the scene happening before him, they’d think he’s a creep.

he grimaced, closing his eyes. who just stares at a stranger?

no, not a stranger.

picking himself up, he walks - slowly, lightly, hushed steps.

the person he’d always dreamed of still hadn’t noticed him, and he didn’t know if he liked that or not.

hyunjin was perfectly fine with just staring at the girl. hell, just being in her presence was enough.

on the other hand, he wondered what her voice sounds like. is it the same dreamy voice always echoing in his mind? maybe it’s deeper - huskier. perhaps, it even became more enchanting? god, he would lose it.

maybe it is best she doesn’t notice him.

he chooses a spot as far as from her as possible, yet still having the room to look and admire her.

he beats himself up inside. can you be more of a creep, hyunjin? step out of it!

right as his body hits the stool-

creek!

the stool makes a noise.

of course it did. hyunjin curses.

y/n looks up, startled. you were so engrossed in your painting. you didn’t realize there was someone was in the same room as you.

get it together, y/n!

“sorry!” hyunjin calls out.

y/n finds his voice alluring.

“no problem!” she smiles that damn smile.

hyunjin thinks he cries. inside. hearing your voice melts him. hearing his angel’s voice melts him.

“oh, sorry wait i forgot to put my mask on. no one usually come during these ho-”

“keep it off.”

hyunjin startles himself. y/n raised a brow, confused as to way this man covered from head to toe - minus his eyes - was telling her to keep her mask off. “oh?”

“sorry, i mean!” hyunjin catches himself, “i mean, it’s okay. keep it off if you’re comfortable that way. we’re far apart anyways...”

he wishes you weren’t far apart. he wishes he could be beside you. he wishes he could wipe off the confused put off your face. he wishes he could envelope you in his arms and whisper you sweet nothings. he wishes he could finally tell you how much he missed you.

but he can’t.

“well, we don’t have to be.”

hyunjin swears his heart is about to jump out of his chest and start running around the room. he stutters.

“do you wanna sit beside me? you don’t have to be lonely all the way there.”

hyunjin is stunned.

what was all that about not being able to be near her?

he knows he should’ve refused. he should’ve said no and stayed at his spot, just silently adoring you.

but he didn’t. he jumped at the opportunity to finally be close to you after all this time. he wanted to breathe in your scent. he wanted to finally feel you beside him.

and now he could.

hyunjin quicky jumps up, causing y/n to leave a soft giggle. he quickly grabs his bag and rushes towards you, almost knocking a canvas down.

“woah, there! calm down, mister!” she chuckles.

he misses her laugh.

hyunjin laughs too, in what felt like ages. he doesn’t think he’s laughed, more so smiled, since he got sent to hiatus.

“sorry, just haven’t been outside in a while.”

“i can tell,” y/n gives him a soft smile. normally, if a stranger told him that, he would’ve scoffed and walked away. but this was you. he knows what your words mean through and through.

so he smiles back.

hyunjin removes his cap, running a hand through his hair. y/n stares at him.

“so,” she started, “what brings you here?”

“huh?” hyunjin looked at her, “me?”

there she goes again with her fucking adorable laugh, “well who else?”

“oh, right,” hyunjin evidently blushes.

“if you want, you can take your mask off too. um, unless you have covid or have been near someone from covid... oh, but you probably don’t you got past the registration requirements anyways,” y/n rambled, “anyways! you just... do you and do whatever you want to do,” she smiled.

her rambling makes hyunjin smile, again.

removing his mask, he looked at y/n for a reaction.

all he got was the same welcoming smile he’d always love.

yet, no sense of recognition.

not even a slight surprise she’s beside an idol. if she even knew that stuff.

hyunjin was obviously red. y/n could tell he was anxious with the way he kept licking and biting his lips, never seeming to keep steady.

“i come here to stress relieve.”

he looks at her. “well i’m here almost everyday. when i don’t have classes i stay here the whole day. my family pity me for it, but i’m happy here.”

y/n looks at hyunjin, meeting his eyes - which just bring hyunjin to turn redder. “not many people come here, or stay long. most think it’s boring,” she frowns. “but i think you’d like it here.”

“you think so?”

“you’re the type of person who likes to just... bask in silence. do what you love doing. express yourself, you know?”

hyunjin nods, thoughtful. “true. you seem very wise.”

y/n chuckles. “not wise, hyunjin. i just.. think a lot? i guess.”

hyunjin laughs along, not even realizing your slip up because of how much your presence alone consumed him.

after that, it’s silent.

peace.

just you painting strokes onto your canvas, and hyunjin starting on with his.

hyunjin paints with a smile. he silently thanks chan and the rest of the boys for encouraging him to get out.

and then it hit him. hyunjin.

you said his name.

did he tell you his name?

he couldn’t remember. maybe he did, and he just forgot.

y/n notices him sweating. “hey, you doing alright there?”

“hm?” only then hyunjin realizes his knee has been bouncing and his hands sweating. “oh, yeah. i’m okay.”

y/n eyes him, “no, you’re not.”

hyunjin is both amazed and pissed at how you can read straight through him, and have no filter with it.

“um, i was just wondering...” hyunjin shakes, “did i... tell you my name?”

y/n haulted from her actions, “um,” she paused, “yes. you did.”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

“sorry,” he apologizes. “i just forgot, i think.”

“yeah, it’s okay.”

hyunjin feels weary after that conversation.

2006, LAS VEGAS KINDERGARTEN.

“don’t leave me!”

a 6 year-old hwang hyunjin cried to his mother, “if you love me, you’d stay!”

his mother sighed, “jinnie, my baby,” she cupped his tear stained cheeks, a frown laced on his face - contrasting his pretty features. “it’s only for a little while, i promise. you can get through this, okay? stay strong, prince.”

“but!” hyunjin stuttered, “how will i talk to anyone? no one looks like they’d speak korean here.”

looking around, hyunjin’s mom spotted an asian girl - who she assumed to be korean - sitting on her desk. she had a pink tutu dress on while her hair adorned space buns, quietly drawing what seemed to be a tree house with a little girl and a dog playing on the grass. the mother quickly, yet lightly, tapped the girl’s shoulder.

“um, hello there, honey. sorry to bother you, but, is there any way you perhaps speak korean?”

the girl’s face brightens up. adorable - the woman thinks. “yes! hello, ma’am!”

the little girl spoke in korean. “nice to meet you! my name’s y/n,” you gave your hand, “and yours?”

the mother shook her hand, “nice to meet you too, y/n! i’m hwang euna. this,” she gestured to hyunjin - who just made a face at his mother, “is sam! but you can call him hyunjin. jinnie, say hi.”

“hi.”

“hello! i’m y/n!”

why is she so smiley? hyunjin thought. no one could be that happy to be in school.

“sorry, he’s usually not this grumpy,” she nudged her son. “hyunjin, here, is a little scared-”

“i’m not scared!”

“ehem,” she coughed. “anyways, he’s new here. never been to vegas. he’s not familiar with english, as well,” she frowned. “i was wondering, maybe if he had someone to lean on and translate for him - it would help. that is, if you’re... okay with it?”

looking at the hopeful look on the elder woman’s face, you grinned. “not a problem, mrs. hwang! at least i think you’re a mrs. hwang...?”

“ah yes, of course! just call me euna.”

“okay, mrs. euna!” y/n turned to hyunjin, “i’m your new friend now, hyunjinnie!”

hyunjin’s mom grinned widely, “oh, thank you, y/n! thank you so much! you’re an angel! i promise i’ll make it up to you.”

y/n giggled, shyly. “it’s really not a need, mrs. euna. i’m just glad i have a friend now!”

first day of kindergarten, art class.

“hey, hyunjinnie?” y/n tapped the boy’s shoulder.

hyunjin grumbled. “yes?”

“um, i just wanted to let you know you can share my paint,” y/n smiled, showing her teeth, “i noticed you don’t have coloring supplies with you, so...”

hyunjin wanted to hate you. in no particular reason ever. maybe it was the way you were so nice to him, it made him doubt it’s genuine.

but as time passed by, he grew to grow fond to you. attached to you.

one day, just a few weeks before hyunjin’s flight back home, y/n came face to face with a frowning, pouty, hwang hyunjin.

“hey, hyunnie. what’s up?”

hyunjin looked at y/n with sad eyes, not answering her.

y/n, sensing hyunjin wants non verbal comfort, sits beside him on the grass. you pull out your sketch book. “here.”

hyunjin looks at the blank piece of paper y/n ripped from her sketch book. “take it.”

“why? i have my own.”

you rolled your eyes, “just take it, dummy! i’m trying to be nice here,” you playfully frown - making hyunjin google. “okay.”

“so i do this thing,” you grabbed your colored pencils, “when i don’t know how to describe or say how i’m feeling, i draw it.”

hyunjin looks at her incredulously. “how do you draw feelings?”

“well, it’s more like, i just let my hand do it’s thing, ya know? i don’t think about it, i just do it.”

“how do you just... do it?”

“just,” y/n takes a breathe of air, “forget about life for a moment,” she closes her eyes and hyunjin looks at you. he never really realized how much you looked like an angel under the sunlight. well more like under any light.

“just scribble!” you exclaimed, causing hyunjin to snap away from his thoughts. “if you’re mad, just scratch and poke holes onto the paper! it really does help! my dad’s a therapist and he said it’s a way to calm you down,” you smile brightly.

hyunjin looked amazed. he really admired how wise you seem to be. you just get him.

and so, the two start drawing. it was peace. hyunjin greatly enjoyed the times where you two just sat down in silence, enjoying one another’s presence.

“woah, that’s beautiful, sammie!”

hyunjin looked up, seeing y/n’s wowed expression, “you’re a natural!”

he blushed, “you really think so?”

“yes, hyun! that’s the most beautiful art work i’ve ever seen in my entire 5 years of living!”

you’re the most beautiful art work i’ve ever seen, hyunjin thinks. “thanks. you’re amazing too.”

y/n lifted a brow, “really? all i drew was a sunrise but thanks! i appreciate you!” you grin at hyunjin.

“um, y/nnie,” hyunjin started, shaking.

“hey, hyun?” you grabbed ahold of his hands, ignoring the sweat laced on it. “you don’t have to tell me if it makes you sad,” you frown.

“no! i need you to know!” hyunjin exclaimed, tears forming in his eyes. you felt your heart break.

hyunjin gasped, “i’m going back to korea soon!”

he closed his eyes, afraid to see your reaction. when he didn’t hear a reply, he opened an eye.

all he was greeted with was a sad smile.

it comforted him.

“oh, sam,” y/n hugged the boy. “i’m gonna miss you so much.”

hyunjin cried. he cried so hard he knew there was a wet patch on y/n’s shirt. “i’m so sorry, y/n. i’m sorry...”

you pulled away, only to grab his cheeks in your hands. “what are you sorry for, hyunnie? you did nothing wrong.”

“but i’m leaving you...”

the sad smile that graced your face broke his heart even more. he never wanted to see the cause of your smile as pain. he never wanted the cause of your pain to be him.

hyunjin cries again.

“p-please don’t forget me, y/n.”

“never, hyunjin. never.”

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