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burning-sol · 1 year

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BIG EXANDROTH POST

this is my big post where i ramble abt exandroth. spoilers for all of apotheosis.

(HEY THIS IS XANDER HERE) (I'M POSTING THIS EARLY SO THIS IS NOT COMPLETE NOR MOST ELOQUENTLY PUT) (IF SOL GETS AROUND TO IT THEY'LL FIX THIS POST THEMSELVES) (BUT I THINK IT'S BETTER THAT THIS GOES OUT THERE RATHER THAN JUST GET BURIED IN SOL'S DRAFTS AND NEVER SEES THE LIGHT OF DAY) (SO HERE YOU GO) (I ADD NOTES THROUGHOUT WHEN I THINK IT'S NEEDED)

Exandroth /neg

Okay so I figure before we move onto ANYTHING else in this post, we're going to have to talk the fucking WORST thing about Exandroth. You know it, you hate it, it's Exandroth's relationship to Peter. Because this needs to talked about so we all know we're on the same page about Exandroth being an asshole.

I think there's a misconception about Exandroth that Exandroth wants to actively hurt everyone, that she doesn't care about anybody and will do whatever it takes to achieve its goal - or something along those lines. But I think it can be more accurately summarised as the following quote.

Episode 2: Charlie: He seems like he's absolutely being serious about killing these blights, and it's pretty apparent from the battle earlier...that he's like just kind of will do whatever to Peter to get there.

It's not that Exandroth doesn't care about others, it doesn't care about Peter. Exandroth makes fun of Thanatos and teases Rumi, but that sort of actual hurt and intended abuse is always directed at Peter. Outside of any sadistic delight Exandroth gets from killing combatants, Exandroth enjoys harassing Peter and bullying him and does not mind that Peter gets hurt in the slightest. Exandroth cares about Peter to the extent that Peter is a vehicle necessary to navigate her surroundings, and will keep Peter fit enough to function but doesn't take any measure to make sure Peter is comfortable.

To give Exandroth the tiniest of credit, possession in Exandroth's case cannot be completely absent of pain. Regardless of who Exandroth had chosen, Exandroth can't control if Peter gets intrusive 'visions' (briefly mentioned in episode 2, they're not confirmed to be caused by Exandroth but I think there's a good chance they are), or if Peter's time being possessed he can only see fire, or if the magic Exandroth casts causes pain to the host. Anyone who is a host for Exandroth is going to experience pain and discomfort presumably because a human (or what have you) body is just not fit to host a celestial being.

HOWEVER, Exandroth is a fucking shit head who has committed the following:

Exandroth did not inform Peter of what the possession would entail and moreso just forced itself on Peter, making this possession built on a very not consenual agreement.

Constantly and forcefully takes control of Peter without permission. In episode 6, Peter elects to give Exandroth some control and suggests setting up boundaries. Exandroth COMPLETELY ignores Peter and takes full control. Exandroth is not at all respectful of Peter's autonomy.

Exandroth refers to Peter as "just a wand" and generally just dehumanises Peter, viewing him as a tool to achieve her goal rather than someone who she should be collaborating with as an equal.

Using magic causes pain to Peter that Exandroth never addresses, apologises for or attempts to mitigate.

When Peter talks about the idea of trying to get Exandroth to use its magic to help people (episode 4), Exandroth starts to LIQUIFY Peter's leg. YIKES.

I believe it's episode 7 that the worm place is introduced; which becomes a place of torment Exandroth sends Peter, and is shown to very much traumatise Peter to point of being discomforted (you could presume even triggered) by the mention of worms. Peter brings up only seeing fire or blacking out previous to this, which I interpret as being a baseline, meanwhile the worm place is something Exandroth actively inflicts on Peter.

We don't know every little detail of Exandroth's time possessing Peter, but Charlie does say that Exandroth made Peter's life a living hell and ruined his life and I don't believe that's an exaggeration in the slightest. I may have missed things, I'm very sure that there's more I could talk about, but this last point summises everything pretty well.

Exandroth is a DICK and DEFINITELY Peter's antagonist. Peter absolutely needed Exandroth out of his fucking life because Exandroth was a constant tormentor. And I'm going to bring up the idea of Exandroth being redeemed later, but let it be known that in no way do I think that entails Peter forgiving Exandroth or making any effort to help Exandroth better itself. Peter doesn't have to be associated with this thing. Peter shouldn't be expected to associate with this thing. Peter shows Exandroth more kindness than what Exandroth deserves and Peter is absolutely amazing.

I love Peter and I wish to crush Exandroth cause what the actual fuck is wrong with this guy, she's such a prick.

I also think it is absolutely messed up that after all of Exandroth's bullshit, when shit hits the fans and Peter dies, Exandroth blames Peter and calls him a "feeble insect". But that's enough on that.

The narrative Rumi tells

Rumi is not a reliable narrator and they act with a subconscious (or conscious) need to maintain their identity. Nobody missed this, we understand this, but let's take this and apply this to Rumi's relationship with Exandroth. Because Exandroth never appeared in Rumi's visions. Rumi only ever saw Peter. How does this affect Rumi's perception of Exandroth?

My interpretation is Rumi probably subconsciously saw Exandroth as a threat far before any confirmation of Exandroth's character. Exandroth is an uncomfortable outlier; and Rumi could either accept that outlier - accepting their visions weren't entirely correct - OR they could force it to fit in a role that doesn't threaten their identity.

Firstly, through the rejection of Exandroth entirely. It's notable to me that Rumi entirely ignores Peter's comments about Exandroth even as he shows obvious signs of possession (dramatic change in body language, the voice, eclipsed eyes, the horrors, etc). Rumi makes comments praising Peter, "Peter, that was fantastic," You're monstrous Peter!" and it's an entire hour into the episode when Rumi first acknowledges Exandroth; not by his name, but as "the angel inside of you [Peter]". And if this seems like a strange comment, just know that in comparison it took Thanatos DRAMATICALLY less time to latch onto Exandroth's name and use it without issue. For me, it goes past being a bit to feeling like it's something Rumi is skirting around.

In the next episode, Rumi does ask to talk to Exandroth and introduces themselves but soon after delves into a line of questioning surrounding Peter and if Exandroth can transfer her power. This isn't to say that these are unreasonable questions, but I would pose that these questions prioritise Peter more than actually getting to know Exandroth. And Rumi also asked whether Peter was the master of Exandroth or Exandroth was the master of Peter (IN that order) which just seems like a kinda fucked up thing to ask imo.

Obviously, there is a certain point where Exandroth's actions speak for themselves, and Rumi would be right for judging Exandroth harshly, but many of these early interactions can be interpretted as being skewed in Peter's favour.

When it comes to how Rumi treats Exandroth, I percieve things progressing as follows: Exandroth is treated as an entity that doesn't exist; Exandroth does exist but it just an accessory to Peter; Exandroth is an UNWELCOME accessory to Peter; Exandroth is a thing for Peter to conquer as a way for Peter to become a strong individual.

The emphasis being that in each case Exandroth is NOT an individual. Because if Exandroth was an individual that exists then that means Rumi's visions don't line up properly. It was never meant to be FOUR god slayers, it was MEANT to be Rumi, Thanatos and Peter. So even before the outright sabotage of Rumi's visions, Rumi was set up to view Exandroth poorly. Although we agree with Rumi that Exandroth is no good, Rumi did not necessarily follow the same line of thought as we did. This wasn't JUST Rumi looking out for Peter, it was Rumi protecting their identity.

I think this also clears up in my mind why Rumi would have a sort of double standard when it comes to Thanatos. Thanatos IS more redeemable than Exandroth, for fucking sure, but this ONE line I obsess over because of the sheer dissonance of it.

"Thanatos, unlike Exandroth, I've observed has some semblance of a liking towards the living. Starting with that Lizard, and perhaps your family in the past."

It really throws a wrench in this whole 'Thanatos is redeemable but Exandroth isn't' thing when you use an example like that. Because, if you don't know, Exandroth LOVES Lizard and has an OUTPOURING of affection towards it. Exandroth BLESSED Lizard, CONNECTED a part of itself Lizard... What is the difference between Thanatos' affection for Lizard and Exandroth's? I turn this over in my mind repeatedly.

More On Dehumanising Exandroth

Okay but let's REALLY think about how Exandroth is treated. Obviously there's all of Rumi's case I lay out earlier but even generally speaking NOBODY really treats Exandroth with the same level of individuality as they would each other. A lot of talk around Exandroth was about his use as an asset to the team; about it being attached to Peter and what that meant for Peter; or about Exandroth's role in the attack on the celestial realm. Times where the god slayers are being introduced, Exandroth has gotten left out more than once.

When Exandroth was out and about in episode 10, she commented that he actually felt like staying out for a while and seemed to have been enjoying socialising with everyone: only to then be told to go away because Tristan(?) found Exandroth annoying. And the others didn't disagree.

This is something that became more apparent as I watched back over the clips and realised there was just SO much talk ABOUT Exandroth but not a lot of talk TO Exandroth. And when there WAS talk to Exandroth, you can be sure that it didn't really amount to much on a personal level. And this is not even bringing in the outright hostility towards him.

Exandroth is very tolerant of this and at worst just gets a bit defiant, saying that he's not going to leave of his own accord. He doesn't act hostile towards the others at all... He did say he could turn Thanatos into spiders if they were in a fight. Recited "boil" repeatedly in response to Rumi trying to use a command spell. He joked about killing Rumi when she was carrying them in the air. But an actual direct and hostile threat? That it initiated? Never. If anything, Grizzly and Condi in a Just Rolled expressed that they wanted to kill Exandroth and take its power. Fun.

Grizzly makes the a comment in episode 12 that Exandroth is a sort of "flaw for Peter". (HEY I'M NOT EXPANDING ON THIS BUT THE POINT SOL WAS GOING TO MAKE WAS THAT EXANDROTH WAS PLACED MORE AS AN ASSET TO PETER'S CHARACTER AND THE GENERAL PLOT OF APOTHEOSIS RATHER THAN HIS OWN CHARACTER) (EXANDROTH IS NOT CONSIDERED A CHARACTER WITH HER OWN ARC, EXANDROTH IS IN SERVICE TO THE OTHERS IN THE STORY) (THAT WAS THE JIST OF IT) (I'M SURE THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE SOL WANTED TO ADD HERE BUT WE'RE MOVING ON)

Let's talk about episode 13

SUMMARY OF EXANDROTH IN THIS EPISODE:

We open up. Exandroth is shifting in form and is "not fully intact" before settling on being Rumi, confusing Peter in the process. Exandroth speaks in a way that's unusual for him and even describes himself as wanting a "perfect" vessel to become god (Exandroth has not shown any fixation on being "perfect" before now). Exandroth attempts to possess the sword before being interrupted. They fight. Exandroth uses her sword for attacks, it continues to come off as very not Exandroth.

Peter cracks open Exandroth's form to reveal the form of Peter. Exandroth's mannerisms and fighting becomes dramatically more Exandroth-like, though he does sound nasally like Peter would. Exandroth comments that he's going to take everything Peter loves. He also has a bag of rocks but Exandroth has painted them all to be Rumi. As Exandroth takes more hits the form wobbles and stretches like someone were manipulating vertexes in Blender.

Exandroth mutters 'he didn't want to do this' before his body EXPLODES into light as his angelic form peels out from the body. And then she fights epically with Peter. And it loses. The end. Kill your gays trope real, Exandroth confessed love for Rumi and got sent to superhell. Very sad. END OF SUMMARY.

What I'm SO intruiged by in this fight is the forms that Exandroth takes, particularly that Exandroth takes the form of Peter of all people. The worm. The imperfect vessel. I mean obviously it makes for a really epic Peter vs Evil Peter scenario. It's also like "WOAH if Exandroth is taking the form of Peter, that's a testament to how strong Peter actually was this whole time". But aside from that, maybe it's reflective of how Exandroth has grown attached to this version of itself.

In terms of phases, you could theorise that there's a progression of what Exandroth wanted to be (Rumi) -> what identity Exandroth had grown attached to (using Peter's body as a vessel) -> and what Exandroth actually is (the Archangel of Justice and Retribution). A desperation to cling onto a sense of humanity, to cling onto these new memories and experiences and emotions. "I didn't want to use this." Why not, Exandroth? Hasn't all this time Exandroth been playing up their prowess, their superiority, their celestial power over the duration of the series? Aside from it being a cool last phase, last resort of power... Maybe Exandroth has grown a distaste towards their celestial self.

It WAS an entire year Exandroth spent attached Peter. So it's not so far fetched to assume that Exandroth started to identify itself with Peter's body.

(ALSO MAYBE EXANDROTH'S TAKING PETER'S FORM WAS LIKE) (IT WAS MAKING OF SHOW OF HOW EXANDROTH WANTED TO STEAL PETER'S LIFE) (IMPERSONATING PETER) (YEAH I THINK THAT WAS SOMETHING ELSE SOL WANTED TO BRING UP)

Exandroth was in LOVE

There is not much to this point. It just. It means something to me that Exandroth was able to pick up on a human emotion. And sure, it didn't know what the fuck to do with that emotion and expressed it in an unhealthy way... But it was SOMETHING. And how much more could have Exandroth picked up on? Could Exandroth have become more than just retribution, rage and sadistic delight?

Exandroth was an ally of humanity, Exandroth walked alongside people, and Exandroth was becoming more human itself. Going to LOSE my marbles.

(INSERT MORE EXPANSION ON THIS POINT) (BUT YEAH EXANDROTH WAS DEVELOPING EMOTIONS IT DIDN'T HAVE BEFORE AS A CELESTIAL) (THAT'S COOL)

Loveable Idiot

Okay but if I may be sooo silly about this thing he is SOOO stupid and I love it. She had fuckinnnggg no awareness about him it KILLED me.

I love when he just fucking gets distracted by a squirrel and INCINERATES it. This thing doesn't have an attention span like.

Also I just find it very cute that Exandroth it jsut a sleepy lil' thing. Described as napping on several occassions. Going absolute sleepy mode. Now that I think about it you could probably interpret some of Exandroth's incomprehensible speeching as a result of the sleepiness.

(UM YEAH SOL WAS GOING TO GUSH MORE HERE)

Some other notes

In episode 2 when Rumi is going off about how Peter is a part of the trio, Exandroth tries to come out but doesn't manage to get a hold of the reigns. I can only imagine that Exandroth wanted to tell Rumi that he was meant to be Rumi's comrade, not Peter, but didn't get the chance to. And a reminder that Zuen had picked Exandroth as a chosen so yeah I linger on this first interaction a bit.

A clip I'm OBSESSED with is this one. I just think that Rumi and Exandroth could work SO well together in a horrible way because. Rumi doesn't want to directly kill anyone... But Exandroth does!! And if THIS sort of interaction happened more often? Ooooo I love it. I love it SO much. Something something Exandroth will take blood on its hands that Rumi doesn't want. Something like that.

Exandroth's first encounter vs Exandroth second encounter with Rymir is a VERY stark comparison. Exandroth's first encounter with Rymir he just couldn't contain his sheer rage at Rymir (who imprisoned him after Exandroth's treason, which is deserved but ofc Exandroth would be upset over it). Exandroth FORCED himself out and went for the throat. But Exandroth's second encounter he didn't try to crawl his way out, he only came out when allowed. Not only that but he... Sat there. Just. Made some your mom jokes and left as quickly as she came. Maybe it was pacified by Rumi? Maybe Exandroth just was holding themselves back? Up to your interpretation.

Exandroth barely had a prescence in episode 12- even during the fight which is very uncharacteristic of Exandroth. The one time Exandroth used magic was to help Peter dispell the Moon Beast of all things. Just think about that. (SOL ALSO BROUGHT UP IN ANOTHER POST ABOUT EXANDROTH WANTING TO BE FREE AND ALSO FREEING THE MOON BEAST) (SIDENOTE: ALSO SOMETHING ABOUT HOW EXANDROTH SORT OF IMPRISONS PETER)

I posted this clip where both Exandroth and Rumi use their commands spells to say "obey" which. Yeah. You know. That's something!

Exandroth's expulsion from the celestial realm

For me I initially had the theory when I first started Apotheosis that the reason he was cast out of heaven in the first place was because he liked his job too much. He was the Angel of Retribution, but took it to a point where he was giving punishments that even the Gods thought were a little much. He's shown to be extremely sadistic, so it made sense to me. -Shiloh205

Answering the easiest part first: Exandroth wasn't cast out of the celestial realm by the gods.

Exandroth, as part of a plan agreed on with Zuen, went down to Earth(?) 15 years ago and had a hand in the creation of an army of Thanatos that would storm the celestial realm. At some point, Exandroth returned to the celestial realm and was imprisoned for its treachery by the gods for the next who knows how long. It was during the attack on the celestial realm that Zuen unchained Exandroth and set her free, Zuen destroying the celestial realm (the sky disappearing as a result) and leading into the events of episode 1. Zuen let Exandroth free as a part of their deal and because Zuen had selected Exandroth as one of his "chosen". (Zuen wanted there to be a fight of ideals between Exandroth, Rumi and Thanatos but this didn't pan out most likely because of Peter's presence - who was NOT chosen by Zuen but instead chosen by Exandroth)

Why did Exandroth do this though? Here are quotes that I think are relevant.

Episode 2: Thanatos: What does Exandroth seek? ... Exandroth: ...to kill the blights that plague this land, using the body of this boy and my immense magical power. I shall cover the world in Exandroth's light and show it the true meaning of retribution.

Episode 3: Exandroth: I have big beef with the gods. Their hubris will be their undoing. You see, they've made a deal with me that I can stand against them and test their might. But they look down on upon me. And I will earn my freedom from them, with my power. Rumi: Oh, so the gods enslave you, Exandroth? Exandroth: Ouh, they suck. Ough. Thanatos: You seek to destroy them? Exandroth: For sure.

Episode 5: Peter: I don't know, maybe- maybe I can be shaken out of it. But it's.. I don't think it'll be easy. Especially not if it's something like killing a blight, that he's really trying to do... And I- And I feel that anger.

Episode 10: Thanatos: You were the first to assault the gods? Exandroth: Oh they have been laying waste to everything for a long, long time before I took my job as Archangel of Retribution to its word and commenced a great reckoning.

Episode 10: Rumi: But I recall you saying that once all the gods are dead, you will be in control? Exandroth: I mean, yeah, 'cause the gods won't be there anymore, so we will all be in control of our own destinies. Rumi: Is that the goal Exandroth, I thought the goal was to um.. Exandroth: It's to kill the gods first of all... It's to retribution.. It's sort of my thi- whole- the entire thing is retribution so..

Episode 10: Charlie: Condi, unless I'm wrong, retribution is his whole thing. Like, he's pissed at basically the gods for fucking with him for so long.

Episode 10: Rumi: Exandroth, once all the gods are dead, you're going to leave humanity alone and go away? Exandroth: I mean unless it like... Unless it would want something I guess? But like I'm not- You know, I'm an angel? I- I'll retribute if someone's like a fucking ass. I'll fuckin- I'll blast 'em! ... Rumi: So you're saying once we finish killing all the gods, you'll free Peter and leave humans who are not evil alone? Exandroth: I mean, yeah, we can talk about it. ... Exandroth: That's pretty much it. Really just retribution. Fuck 'em up real bad.

From these quotes I think it can be gathered that Exandroth had three motivations behind betraying the gods. The first being that Exandroth was constrained in some way (maybe not letting him do what he wanted or maybe an physical constraint, we don't know the details) and wanted freedom from them. The second being that it seems that Exandroth has something to prove, that he wants to be a force that rivals the gods by challenging them. The gods definitely have a streak of acting condescending, even specifically towards Exandroth, so I'd say this also checks out. The third being that Exandroth is an Angel of Retribution and Justice who judged the gods as deserving of retribution, and carried out whatever it would take to enact this retribution. In general, we know that there was definitely SOMETHING that the gods did to Exandroth other than chaining him up, because he is described as being VERY upset at them - filled with an anger that Peter can feel too. So maybe there was that personal need for retribution outside of the Gods' neglect of the people in general.

I know someone might comment that becoming god was also a motivation for Exandroth. To me, I don't find this nearly as clear as everything else listed. Exandroth definitely wanted to be god post being stabbed by Thanatos; but, as I said before, I think this is more symptomatic of Exandroth attempting to embody Rumi and misconstruing what Rumi's goal was. Outside of this Exandroth doesn't say whether or not his goal from the start was to become a god. If anything, he more strongly insists that he just wants to be a force of retribution in the world - which is backed up by insight checks made by both Bizly and Grizzly at different points. Which falls under the previously listed motivation.

This isn't to say that Exandroth didn't want to become god, just that there isn't evidence to say it was his initial motivation or even a primary motivation. It may have been a side effect of his other motivations, similar to Rumi's situation, but it was not Exandroth's driving force. Maybe Exandroth would have even been open to negotiating his position if, "I mean, yeah, we can talk about it," can be taken optimistically.

That is what I have gathered on Exandroth's situation in the celestial realm - concerning what events happened and what his motivations are.

(ALSO, ZUEN DID MANIPULATE BOTH RUMI AND THANATOS INTO POSITIONS AS CHOSEN) (AND EXANDROTH ISN'T EXACTLY THE MOST SMART OF THE GROUP) (IT'S NOT CANON BUT I THINK IT'S EASY TO EXTRAPOLATE THAT EXANDROTH WAS MOST LIKELY MANIPULATED BY ZUEN TOO) (PERHAPS EVEN TO A MORE STRONG DEGREE LIKE RUMI HAD BEEN)

So is Exandroth a static character?

If it were up to my judgement, my answer would be no.

Context behind this question: Charlie in the Just Rolleds had expressed that he didn't want to play Exandroth because he was a "static character". This was as late as Just Rolled episode 12, and I think you can easily gather from my points above why I'd be arguing that this is wrong. As much as I think the Rolleds can give better insight into Apotheosis, they AREN'T Apotheosis. I don't agree with the Council when it comes to Exandroth and I think there's enough textual evidence to back me up. I'm sure to Charlie this made sense to him as the player, but actually watching through Apotheosis as a viewer is a very different experience.

One thing that I think COULD possibly refute this is similar to what Bizly tried to argue with Thanatos' character. That being, was there an actual internal change or did Exandroth just learn to approach things with more "finesse"? Did Exandroth change or were there just other factors at play?

At the very least, regardless of where you stand, I hope that we would all agree by the end of this essay that Exandroth is at the least a dynamic character.

(THIS WAS A QUESTION FROM MOCHITOASTER TOO BUT SOL HAD ALREADY PLANNED TO INCLUDE THIS) (THE QUESTION ITSELF)

I would really like to hear your thoughts on Exandroth being a static character. Like do you think that’s true? Is the only growth it has based in fanon or is there more to it than it’s given credit for?

(FROSTYCOLA WAS ALSO IN THE TAGS WANTING ME TO DISPROVE THIS SO YEAH) (I HOPE WAS OF SOL'S ESSAY COULD CONVEY STUFF)

(CURRENTLY THE END OF THIS POST)

(SORRY) (THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE SOL COULD RAMBLE ON ABOUT BUT THIS IS WHERE IT GETS CUT SHORT) (IF YOU LIKE THIS OR HAVE ANY MORE SPECIFIC QUESTIONS YOU COULD SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH SOL) (WHEN HE GETS AROUND TO IT HE COULD TALK MORE) (THERE WASN'T NEARLY ENOUGH ON EXANDROTH'S ACTUAL DEVELOPMENT GAH) (I'M SORRY SOL WASN'T ABLE TO FINISH IT AT THIS POINT IN TIME)

(MOCHITOASTER'S OTHER POINT THAT I'M SORRY SOL DIDN'T ANSWER)

Also I wanna hear about Exandroth’s relationships with the godslayers. This is kind of branching off the first point but I want to hear what you think about it being in love with Rumi and impersonating them and it’s relationship with Peter and the sort of strange maternal thing happening with thanatos badically I wanna hear everything but those especially I think idk I need to rewatch apotheosis and die all over again

(THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING TO SOL THOUGH) (I DO THINK THEY HAVE A GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF EXANDROTH AS A CHARACTER) (I HAD SOL'S PERMISSION TO POST THIS) (AND I'M GLAD BECAUSE I THINK SOL SHOULD REALLY BE ABLE TO GET THEIR IDEAS OUT THERE) (THEY GET REALLY BOGGED DOWN IN PERFECTIONISM) (BUT WHEN THEY PUT THEIR IDEAS OUT THERE THEY CAN BE DOPE AS HELL)

(ANYWAYS)

(HEY YOU ASKED FOR STUFF HERE YOU GO) @2o5 @mochitoaster @frostycola

#📚 my posts #📝 essays #👁️‍🗨️ exandroth posting #just roll with it #jrwi apotheosis #jrwi exandroth #(HOPE YOU ENJOYED WHAT WRITING THERE WAS)#(EDIT: BIG POINT THAT WAS PROBABLY NEED)#(DEATH OF THE AUTHOR)#(EVEN IF CHARLIE AND CONDI HAD DIFFERENT INTENTIONS WE CAN SAY FUCK IT AND BE LIKE)#(READING THE WORK ALONE THIS IS WHAT IS SAYS)#(IF THEY WANTED AND EVIL CHARACTER THEY SHOULD HAVE PLAYED AN EVIL CHARACTER)#(END OF STORY)

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energywarning · 2 years

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Who does octo girl speak more like, Eight or Marina?

In my head I keep thinking she knows how to speak inklish (inkling?) Fluently but speaks in a formal way sometimes (like eight does). For example, consistently calling 4 "Her prince" but that's kinda formal so it colldies with her general way of speaking.

( I hope I worded this correctly)

How does cherry speak ? Time to find out!

. Shes rather eloquent, "formal" in a "speaks on a formal level" , but not necessarily polite? shes not a slang girl. shes rather well. Uh . She tries to speak as clearly as possible and it can come off as brutally honest cringe depending on who shes talking to... and she is rather... aloof ? She doesnt get along with people easy, because once again she has trouble shutting up and ends up saying whatever shes thinking. And usually shes not thinking very nice things of strangers that she doesnt trust. So shes not like. A social talker ? Has trouble with social cues. Like a certain amount, and when she knows its wrong she does it anyway. With friends shes cheery instead of standoff ish sure but she still has those semibold quirks,

2. Indeed she does call alex her prince ! She thinks its a very clever nickname... Alex thinks its kind of dumb though, esp considering that like, she didnt really save her on purpose as in she was not aware of cherry's existence. Cherry doesnt really care though...

But overall id say her way of speaking is Not similar to marina. And not eight either,? well not fully at least. like they share similarities ( bad at social cues+ speak in a "formal" way) but the way they go around it is like quite different.

So basically... Shes eloquent but not poetic in the way she speaks ? She does not phrase her words prettily (except when shes trying to like . Talk to alex LOL) i guess its rather cut and dry. She says whats on her mind. And while she can hold her tongue technically she doesnt want to or fails to notice she has to so its rare for her to shut her mouth or wait for the good moment to say something. Misses many social cues. she has very good knowledge of the inkling language on an academical level (bought any and all inkling books she could find when she got to the surface and for a while her life was just bartending (then after some times tattoo artist) job, go home and back to Learning Inkling)but informal/new words she has trouble with bc shes a loner (skittish around people does not trust easy AT ALL) and doesnt really bother learning about inkling culture, the trends the slang and so forth. So on a certain level cherry s inkling is much better than eight but on the everyday slang thing eight is better i think. Because like eight is able to pierce the meaning of whatever is said after a certain point on the surface even if she never heard of the word b4 while cherry is clueless abt this unless she gets to look up a translation of what she didnt understand "what the hell does swag mean*forgets the rest of what was said to her and becomes focused on this word*". Cherry also genuinely has almost no accent compared to marina or eight.

Thank you for the ask anon ! If you have any other questions feel free to send me another ask !

#and yes you worded this correctly #:^DDD #sillies #cherry(oc)

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oraclekleo · 10 months

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🐚 Hey~ how are you doing today hun?

There’s not much space for alternative interpretation in this case. Tom would probably notice your natural feminine charm and your beauty (beauty is in the eye of the beholder so even if you don’t love yourself, Tom would feel utterly enchanted). He’s likely to feel stunned and hooked by the way you walk and talk. Your natural kindness and probably a soft way of speaking to people even when they act annoyingly is something that would catch his attention and spark his interest in you. Maybe he sees you solving a dispute in a gentle and diplomatic way and it absolutely astonishes him. Maybe he sees you dealing with a difficult pet in a soft and loving way and taming them like that much better than those who shout and yell. Even such a tiny thing as you enjoying a fresh apple might actually make Tom stumble.

I loved the reading sm<333 the fact he would find me beautiful makes my heart so-🤰🦋. Yes, I do have habit of being nice n kind to people whom sometimes could be rude or annoying. Ohmygod! The fact Tom actually have two pets and I have such soft spot for them. The accuracy 💯👌🥰.

Tom might feel a bit naughty when following you in order to catch the right moment to approach you. He’s likely to observe you for a while, stealing and savouring glimpses of you from afar. He’s not nearly as confident as he should be when it comes to you. You might be going about your regular day and he will just shyly peek at you from behind corners, trees, shelves with books. The more he watches you, the more pulled towards you he feels because he’s getting to the conclusion, you are one interesting and astonishing person.

Gurl STOP! This is making me so happy 🤣 True, I do feel that Tom would be the shy type when he have feelings for someone at first, and u can see that when he had crush on Emma Watson but he never told her lol. Btw, I'm over the moon rn ngl lmao~

At a certain point the moment comes when Tom has to take all his courage and approach you. He’s likely to do so confidently now because he has already learned how to talk to you through watching you. He might just simply come to you, saying Hello and introducing himself to you and start a conversation. He’s not likely to use some tricks. This doesn't align with his morals. He’s a direct and plain speaking man, he likes to be honest with people and it’s likely for him to feel the same vibe from you. He knows you won’t mind him being open and straightforward with you. Tom is likely to be eloquent when he’s interested in a person so fasten your seatbelts, the chat over afternoon coffee might expand into an early morning philosophy discussions while watching sunrise.

OHMYG! So trueee. Tom mentioned once in his book that his personality don’t differ at all when he outdoors and indoors, he likes to be himself. And yes! I'm the type of person who would always be the one who speak their feelings and don't like to suger-coat your wrongs. Yes! Ofc, I do love discussions and sharing opinions w others. [Gemini mercury here lol]

Tom is likely to feel mesmerised by your resourcefulness and the ability to adapt to various situations. You have more than one talent and you probably cultivate many skills and hobbies because you have many interests. You like to experiment, to explore and to learn about stuff. You like to try new activities, you don’t really have prejudices against genres of art or against people. You approach the world with your mind open and willing to find beauty in everything. Tom absolutely loves that about you and while he himself might sometimes feel a little more conservative, you are his great inspiration.

Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!Trueee!

I do have so many hobbies and talents, sometimes I have too many that I'm not able to know which one is my real talent lol [I get bored SO easily]. And I do love to explore the world and see the potential in it. Yeah! Tom once talked abt how he was raised in such conservative society. (If I'm not mistaken.)

Sometimes you need to destroy something in order to make space for something new. Maybe up till now you actually only felt platonic about Tom. Or maybe your romance wasn’t anything more than a summer fling. Tom certainly feels much more serious about your relationship, though, so when once again you try to keep things light and without commitments, he needs to prove you wrong by kissing you passionately. And whatever you thought about the relationship crashes and burns in the heat of his desire and yours. Welcome to the utterly new world which is upside down and spinning but feels really good.

Tom is both a romantic and determined type of man (HE IS). He’s likely planning the night he’s gonna confess his feelings long ahead. He prepares for it, he makes it an unforgettable moment and a true celebration of your love. Maybe he takes you to a renaissance fair where he will declare his love dressed up as a knight while you are neatly placed on a balcony. Maybe he will take you for a romantic picnic and gaze deeply into your eyes before whispering ‘I love you’. Whatever the occasion, you better have something clever to answer. Or you can skip talking and kiss him. Tom might prefer the second option.

I'M JUST IN LOVE! ❤️

Thank you very much for the fun reading! The accuracy is just amazing 🥰.

And pls accept this meme from me lmao

Hello!

😂

Oh the final meme! 🤣🤣🤣

I'm dying!

Anyway!

Thank you so much for the feedback.

I'm so happy it resonated with your personality and with what is known about Tom Felton. I have never been into Harry Potter so I don't really know much about either of the protagonist. It's really helpful when your feedback includes how he is. 💗

This reading was actually pretty easy flowing for me. It's probably your personality and maybe even his being well atuned with me. I always had inner feeling that I'm acutally a British but was born in different country. 😂

Anyway! So happy you liked the reading. It was fun to write and I'm glad it's also fun to read for you. 👏

Thank you again for the feedback and the MEME, I love it. 💖💖💖

Kleo 🦄

#oracle kleo #tarot feedback

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oedipushansen · 1 year

Text

rant under the cut abt like. books i guess?

the weirdest thing abt andrea long chu’s article abt ottessa moshfegh and how ppl reacted to it is that like. alc didnt rlly like.. say anything that wasnt already known. like ppl knew that moshfegh put racism and fatphobia and other bigoted or “gross” themes into her work, theres literally no way u could have claimed to read her books w/o noticing that. this isn’t to say that that shouldn’t be criticized—i def think some of it should be, to an extent—but plenty of ppl had already been criticizing moshfegh for this before acl’s article, but the majority of ppl just didnt care at all bc at that point moshfegh was still popular and on social media she was the “super unhinged aesthetic girlboss woman writer” or whatever. it was only when a somewhat popular person said “man this stuff is Weird right guys” that ppl suddenly did a complete 180 and decided that they hated moshfegh bc she was Problematic Now I Guess. like, just a day ago the same ppl were talking abt how much they loved her bc she wrote abt “unhinged women” (a term im glad to see is finally dying out somewhat) and right after the alc article they acted like they were just. completely and totally blind to everything that was criticized, as if it wasnt literally in their faces the entire time, and now they’re totally dumping moshfeghs books bc the general consensus now is that shes Bad.

again i do think there are some aspects of moshfegh’s writing and some things shes said that should be criticized, im not saying shes like innocent or anything, im just saying its weird how ppl’s opinions seemed to flip on a dime overnight. it feels like no one even rlly had like. a real opinion of their own. they liked moshfegh bc ppl were pushing that “unhinged woman” persona onto her and everyone just loved that, but when one popular person is like “erm.. shes kinda problematic and talks abt shit a lot for some reason” ppl are so quick to hate her bc thats how they Should feel. i dont know i feel like a broken record but its just so weird to me. maybe im being biased bc i personally find alc and some of her opinions really weird & annoying, and i do enjoy ottessa moshfegh’s writing (though i also have my own complicated feelings abt it), but like. it still strikes me as unfair. i also found it a bit confusing how alc talked abt moshfegh’s fatphobia in her books but not abt the racism or the ableism, which were also two really big criticisms of her at the time. i dont have any particular horse in that race so i wont say more but like. if ur gonna write an entire article at least mention those two, like id say theyre pretty major

i also dont like the mindset that writing abt taboo or gross things like moshfegh does is inherently bad. now i Know that this wasnt the point alc was trying to make at all, but i feel like its something that ppl on booktok and booktwt or whatever seem to believe sometimes. sometimes ppl just write abt pathetic, bigoted, awful people and use “dirty” ways to describe things, moshfegh certainly isnt the first and she definitely wont be the last. again, i have my own criticisms of her and im not saying that she shouldn’t have been criticized for anything alc mentioned, bc i feel like that did need to be acknowledged a bit, but moshfegh’s unflinching approach to awful ppl and disgusting subjects and her swift and direct writing style is what drew me to her so much. alc wasnt rlly criticizing moshfegh for writing like this, in fact she was actually pretty complimentary abt it, but this was the sentiment that i saw a lot of “booktok” ppl having when they talked abt the article

i probably wont talk much abt alc anymore but like. abt her in general, its a shame bc i do think shes a Good Writer on an objective level. she knows how to word things eloquently and in interesting ways and how to structure her points and just how to Write Well. but i also just think shes annoying and her opinions on gender and transition just dont rub me the right way. i would go looking for those tweets she made and some paragraphs from her book “females”, but im lazy and im not gonna put in extra effort for this post that is basically just a stream of consciousness rant. but it feels like her whole philosophy around transness revolves soley around her personal experiences and how much she hates being trans. she calls another trans woman “a dumb blonde” in her book for acting feminine “in the way she should”, then goes onto say that someone’s personal identity and feelings abt their gender is “on its own, worthless” and that gender is something that “other people have to decide for you”, which is the only reason why ppl transition. she also made a tweet saying how, for political reasons, people replaced the term “real” women with “cis” women, and it wasnt said in a way that was criticizing that, it was said in a “well, this is just the way it is guys, nothing wrong with it, just face the truth” sort of way. there are a bunch of other things i found weird but honestly i formed my opinions abt her a long time ago so i cant remember it all, and again i cant be fucked to find anything right now. maybe if someone asks i’ll link to a couple articles criticizing her work

ANYWAY, back to books and how ppl treat stories abt anything disturbing or upsetting like theyre inherently bad. i think at some point i’m gonna read things have gotten worse since we last spoke. ive heard a lot of bad things abt it but unsurprisingly most of it was from booktok ppl who just. Didnt like that this horror book had horror in it, and that the horror was gross and disturbed them. i guess i cant fault them bc it probably just wasnt the sort of book theyre used to reading or like, which is fine, but dont make it seem like it’s a bug and not a feature. if it disturbed u then. like. it sort of succeeded? thats the point, its horror, it was advertised as gross and disturbing. its a shame bc from what ive heard abt it it seems like the exact kind of book id love, and the concept is so interesting to me. i guess i should hold my tongue before i read it but i feel like it gets a lot of undeserved hatred

#okok thats my rant #sorry that this was so long or if some of it didnt make any sense or wasnt worded well. i didnt rlly think much while writing this i just #-needed to dump my feelings abt this topic somewhere #txt

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duskholland · 3 years

Note

prompt idea if it vibes with you... frat!tom and y/n are close friends at a party and Tom accidentally drunkenly tells her how he feels about her. this could be followed by her making sure he gets home and sobers up and in the morning they talk abt it (smut could ensue, if the mood so strikes). wishing you good writing vibes 💞

no smut, just a lot of fluff! thank you for requesting--this concept makes me feel :’)) cw: alcohol

frat!tom !!

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

You’ve never seen Tom this drunk before, and you have to admit, it’s quite cute.

There’s a rosy flush to his face, and his eyes are even warmer than usual. He’s incredibly affectionate, clinging to your arm like it’s his only lifeline, kissing your cheek every time there’s an opportunity to. It’s not that the gushing behaviour is unusual—Tom’s always been a flirt, for as long as you’ve known him—but you’ve never seen him act this enamoured. Not around you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You whisper into his ear.

Tom looks up at you, movements jerky and tired. You’re sitting beside him on the sofa. You’d been playing a game of truth or dare with the rest of the group, but they’d all scattered as soon as it finished. Now it’s just you and Tom, sitting side by side.

“Definitely,” he mumbles, voice slightly slurred. He yawns loudly, stretching out his arms and giggling when he accidentally hits your shoulder with a soft fist. “S’rry, love.”

You snort, reaching out to pat his arm. You’re tipsy, but you’re nowhere near as trashed as your friend appears to be. He curls into your touch, and you watch, smirking, as he collapses down over the sofa, stretching his legs out along the cushions as he rests his head in your lap. Your fingers move up to find home in his hair, and you stroke his strands softly as he moans.

“God, that feels good,” Tom whines. His eyes flutter shut and you continue to massage his scalp, tugging lightly on his hair when you figure out he likes a bit of pressure. “Fuck… I love you.”

You chuckle, leaning down to gently kiss his forehead. “Love you too,” you reply.

Tom’s eyes shoot open, and his jaw falls slack as he blinks. “Do you?”

A confused smile finds your face as you nod. “Yeah. You’re one of my best friends, Tom.”

A line forms between his brows. “No, no, that’s not… I didn’t mean it like that.” His nose scrunches up as he pouts, and Tom reaches up to grab your hands. He grasps your fingers firmly and stares into your eyes. “I love you.”

You tilt your head to the side, suddenly feeling a little light headed.

“I love you?” You try again.

Tom chuckles, eyes flickering down to your hands intertwined with his. He clumsily kisses your knuckles before sighing.

“I’m in love with you,” he repeats, voice slanted. “‘M too much of a coward to tell you when I’m sober, but I guess it’s easier when I’m fucked.” He glances up at you, seeming nervous. “It’s um… it’s fine if you don’t feel the same or—“

All of a sudden, Tom breaks off, and he goes very still as he groans. His cheeks pale, and you startle when he sits up suddenly, looking around, startled.

“Don’t be sick,” you warn, heart beating rapidly in your chest. You reach out to the table beside you and pick up your bottle of water, flicking open the cap and passing it into his hands.

Tom downs it quickly, and you soothe your hand over his back as you try to make sense of his confession. You want to believe him—fuck, you’ve been in love with him since the moment you met him—but you also watched him down four shots in a row and do a keg stand, so you don’t know how much you trust his woozy words.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, wiping at his mouth as he passes back the bottle. Tom goes to lie down again, but you gently coax him back up.

“I’m taking you upstairs,” you decide, after a quick glance at his watch to confirm it’s gone three.

Tom pouts, but it’s quick to disappear as you stand

and carefully pull him up with you. “Wait, are you coming too?”

“Yeah. I don’t trust you to climb all those stairs without me.”

He wiggles his eyebrows, slumping against you as you slowly lead him towards the grand staircase.

“If you want to come into my bedroom, you could just come out and say it,” he slurs. “No need to tease, baby.”

You scoff. “How are you still such a flirt when you’re drunk?”

“It’s in my DNA. I’m programmed to appreciate pretty things, and you, love…” He reaches up and boops your nose. “You’re very pretty.”

You decide you quite like Tom when he’s drunk like this—affectionate and loving.

“You’re cute,” you reply. You sigh contentedly as you finally finish dragging him up the stairs. “Go brush your teeth,” you urge, gesturing in the direction of the bathroom. You’re on the top level of the frat now, reserved for the members of admin. As president of the frat, Tom’s lucky enough to have his own room.

“Come with me,” he whines. He blinks at you with those warm brown eyes, and you find yourself melting.

It takes a while to get Tom ready for bed. First it’s his teeth, then you have to pull him out of his incredibly tight skinny jeans, then convince him to drink some water. By the time you’ve got him back into his room and into bed, he’s dead on his feet, and honestly, so are you.

“Sleep with me,” Tom mumbles, holding out his bare arms. He’s burrowed into his double bed, staring up at you with a boyish smirk on his face.

“I should probably go,” you say, sighing slightly.

“Please stay, Y/N.” His lips roll into a pout. “I want your cuddles. Promise I won’t do anything weird.”

You nod, as a quick balancing of positives versus negatives decides you’d much rather stay with Tom than trudge home in the rain.

After flipping off the lights and pulling off your outfit, you rummage through one of Tom’s drawers and find a large rugby shirt. You slip into it and tend to your makeup as best you can before collapsing into bed beside him, immediately finding his buff arms encircling your waist. Tom curls into you like a koala, and as you gently card your fingers through his hair, you’re reminded of his confession.

“Did you mean it?” You whisper.

“Hmm?”

You swallow. “Do you love me?”

Tom peels away from you, and even in the dark, you know he’s looking at you.

“Yeah,” he admits. “Had a crush on you ever since we were partnered together for that study group last semester. Tried to tell you a few times, but couldn’t ever get the words out right.” Tom sighs dramatically, and pulls you closer. “Jus’ don’t wanna lose you as a friend, Y/N… Would rather never tell you so you can’t reject me.”

You release a soft breath, then lean down to kiss the top of his curls.

“Go to sleep, Tom,” you mumble. “We can talk about it in the morning.”

“Okay,” he whispers. “Night… love you.”

You hope that he’s speaking from the heart, and not from the blend of alcohols swirling through his system.

“Love you too.”

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

You’re woken by Tom, when he groans and swears and flings his arms around as he wakes up. When he accidentally bashes you in the side, you curse too, turning over and grumbling incoherently as you try to ignore the ache in your side and the pounding in your head.

“Y/N?” You hear him say, voice confused. “Why are you in my bed?” His words crack with fatigue, and Tom moans again. “Fuck, what did I drink last night? I can’t remember shit.”

You begrudgingly turn back over, the duvet rustling. Tom’s sitting up against the headboard now, glass of water in his hand, and you watch as he downs the pills you’d left out for him last night.

“You had way too much,” you say, keeping your voice quiet. “You wanted me to stay, so… I stayed.”

Tom hums, letting one of his hands come down to rest on the back of your head. His eyes skim your face and a gentle smile works out across his lips.

“You’re in my shirt,” he mumbles. “Looks nice on you.”

You bite back a smile, shrugging bashfully.

“Do you really not remember anything?”

Tom hesitates. He slowly puts the glass of water down before sighing, using that hand to ruffle up his hair.

“I remember bits,” he says. His eyes narrow. “Do you remember everything?”

You think for a moment before nodding. “Yeah.”

Tom nods, and you almost hear him swallow. “And… you’re still here.”

You smile softly. “Yeah.”

“So that means…”

“Yeah.”

He hums, and then reaches down to tug you upright. Despite your complaints at being pulled from the warm embrace of his duvet, you can’t find it in yourself to complain when Tom pulls you into his lap and wraps his arms around you. His eyes are slightly bloodshot, and his hair lies messily across his forehead, but you think he looks beautiful.

“I meant it,” he admits, voice soft. His fingers gently roll over your waist. “I mean, I would’ve liked to say it more, uh...eloquently, but… it’s true, Y/N. I love you.”

He seems to be holding his breath, and the sight of him so nervous makes your heart race. You reach up and wrap your hands around his neck, smiling as you bring him in for a very soft, gentle kiss. You feel him grin into it, and you realise this is exactly where you’re supposed to be.

“I love you too, Tom,” you tell him.

“Oh.” He kisses you again, growing more confident as you pull yourself nearer and nestle further into his arms. “Really?”

“Mmm.” You let your fingers play with his hair as you hum, pressing your forehead to his and closing your eyes. “You’re really funny when you’re drunk.”

“I’m a disaster,” he complains. “‘M so hungover now, too.”

You hum in agreement, then pull back and yawn.

“Can we go back to sleep now?” You ask, drawing a chuckle from Tom.

“Fuck yeah,” he mutters. He pulls you down with him, and this time, it’s you that curls into him. He wraps you up in his arms and holds you close, kissing the top of your head with care. “Love you,” he chimes, and despite how unfamiliar the words are, they sound right, filling his accent like that.

You press a soft kiss to his chest, and let your eyes droop closed.

“Love you too.”

#tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland #frat!tomfic #tomblurbs #myblurbs #tom.sfw #queue

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wizkiddx · 3 years

Note

ohmyword if your doing req can u pls do another fluffy, domestic one bcos honeymoon morning is some i read daily AHAH maybe like the reader gets ill and toms away or something???? pls just anything fluffy

awh thank you for being so sweet abt honeymoon morning - I do think that's one of my favourite concepts ive done!! and I hope this suits what you want, im not so sure myself but I tried :)))

summary: you try to hide being ill from Tom before he leaves but inevitably it doesn't all go to plan

warnings: mentions of being sick, I think that's all - basically just fluff

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

The night hadn’t really gone typically at all. Instead of relishing the last night with Tom for a few months, your body seemed to have different plans. Hence why now you were curled up in a ball on the sofa, staring blankly at the TV, while the washing machine whirred next-door in the utility room and the chemical smell of cleaning products enveloped the downstairs. At least when you were sick, you were a clean sick.

You were also a quiet sick. You had been pulled from your sleep by the uncomfortable heavy sensation from your stomach barely an hour after you’d both headed to bed. Why was beyond you - what had been important in that moment was to get away from Tom. He was flying back to set tomorrow (or given the early hours currently, lunchtime today was more appropriate) and only had a single day to settle before launching back into filming. So the poor boy was inevitably, given time zones, going to be running on poor quality plane sleep for the next couple of days - you wanted to five him a final night of peace, at least.

As a result, you’d crept downstairs and since then spent a large chunk of the night making good friends with the downstairs toilet bowl. Once you were absolutely certain there was literally nothing else in your stomach, you chucked some bleach down the loo; then stripped your *stained* pyjamas and chucked them in the washing machine; changed into some freshly washed stuff in the utility (comprising of joggers and one of Tom’s hoodies); before you could curl up in the corner of the sofa.��

And that’s how you’d been for an hour or so. Still feeling grim, unable to fall asleep as much as you were trying to and generally just lying in a ball of self pity. And that was fine… until you heard the unmistakable slow padding of footsteps down the stairs.

“Love?… -hy’re you up?” His voice was drenched in sleep, making it pull on your heart strings, even before he had rounded the sofa and come into view. Dressed only in his heather grey joggers only, Tom’s curls sat ontop of his head wildly - sticking up at all ridiculous angles. And then there was his puffy eyes, barely open as he slowly processed the sight of you curled up on the sofa.

“Just couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to keep you up tossing and turning. Why are you up bub?”

“Don’t sleep good without you… you know kicking me and stealing the duvet and stuff.” Never one to maintain a level of seriousness and ‘soppiness’ - it was instantly turned back to the typical relationship of the two of you. While rolling your eyes, you still chuckled at him in the low light of the TV. Tom took the opportunity to perch on the edge of the sofa, sitting so he was grinning loopily down at you. “You fancied putting a wash on too?”

“...I don’t know just trying to be productive?” He was catching on, he was suspicious. You could tell. His eyebrows furrowed together and he delicately hovered the back of his hand over your forehead, feeling the undeniable heat radiate into his skin.

“And bleach?”

“Toilet needed doing anyway.” You mumbled, head turning to stare back at the TV- knowing his eyes were piercing into your soul. He sighed, in your peripheries you could see him shaking his head in slight frustration, as his hand reached for yours, giving it a squeeze.

“You’re ill aren’t you?”

“I’m alright-“ he cut you off with a low warning of your name, making you cower slightly because he’d caught you in a lie. “I threw up a couple times but now I just feel a bit ‘eugh’”. That was, to be fair, a completely truthful description of your evening and current situation. Maybe not put most eloquently but Tom definitely got the messsage, somehow reading your mind by lightly massaging your abdomen with his hand that wasn’t clasped with yours.

“Come on... let’s get you back to bed.” As much as you wanted to argue with him, it was clear any attempt would be futile. One of things you love so much about Tom is how fiercely protective he is of those dear to him. His circles progressively shrunk as he learnt who he could trust and who ... well he couldn’t. The culling had left a handful of people who were almost central to Tom’s life - somehow you’d managed to wangle your way into these select few too.

So no, there was not point arguing or suggesting he puts his own welfare first.

After putting you back int the double bed, Tom had disappeared for 10 minutes or so, when he reinterred the room it was clear he’d been busy. His tongue was stuck out in focus as he tried to balance different mugs and plates on a tray to you. Even if you felt shitty, for a moment by just seeing how far this guy had gone for you - you’d never felt better.

“Okay there’s some lemsip with honey to settle your stomach, water and a slice of toast just because you should probably see if you can keep something down.”

“You really are the sweetest.”

“And you’re the illest so get drinking love.” He laughed softly in the yellow glow of the bedside lamps that illuminated the room. It highlighted his prominent jaw line and the way his eyes crinkled in the corners and given your slightly off state, you might’ve spent a bit too long ogling at the man cosied up next to you. Never would there be a time you weren’t grateful for him.

Turns out you couldn’t keep the toast down but the experience was somewhat less horrific - this time you were spilling your guts out into your ensuite, while Tom held your hair and rubbed your back. Eventually things settled, allowing The two of you nestle back into bed, Tom wrapping his arms round your stomach to lightly trace random patterns on the skin underneath your hoodie - as you nestled back into his chest more.

“I really love you Tom”

“Love you darling, now get some rest and shout if you need anything.” You hummed lightly, almost letting go to sleep now your felt a bit less like your intenpstines were wringing themselves together. But not quite.

“I’m gonna miss you and your stupid face.”

“We can talk about that when your better” It was as if Tom thought whispering and drawing circles on your stomach was going to deafen you to his words. Yes your stomach wasn’t having a lot of fun and you were tired - but you were not deaf. It was oh so predictable too, he loved to be absolutely ridiculous. Indignantly you huffed, rolling over and eyeing him intently.

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Just…. Just if your sick you shouldn’t be on your own. I could always just-“

“No no you couldn’t. You and me both know for a fact you do have a choice and even if you did it be pissing off a hell of a lot of people.” He pouted, you could tell even in the darkness of the night.

“I hate having to leave you though, especially like this.”

“Yes but you love your work too. I’ll be here when you get back… maybe just with a bit less intestines.” Laughing at that, Tom pulled you onto his chest, pressing his tips to the crown of your head as your burrowed into his side.

It can’t have taken more than 5 seconds for you to fall asleep, exhausted from the illness, the stupid time in the morning and maybe slightly for dealing with Toms idiocy.

You were awoken in the morning to Tom stroking your hair gently, all dressed and ready for his flight - but still finding the time to fuss over you and wanting to say a proper goodbye. After practically ordering his to leave… you best believe he dropped in the fact he’d got both Sam and Harry to come round as your babysitter.

He was an idiot. But he was your kind, caring , beautiful and loving idiot.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #Tom Holland blurb #Tom Holland angst

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binniesthighs · 3 years

Note

i loveeee your first write abt Jisung omgggg he is like one of my BIGGEST bias wrecker of all time so i was like WOAH THERE,,,, and i was so hooked on your writings i wanna see more 👀 if you have free time can i please ask for a Jeonghan smut where he is your rival in everything let's say at school and u didn't actually like him at first but he kinda flirts and idk I'm just so into Jeonghan's cocky behavior these daysss he's making me feel thiiiiiiingsssss 😩❤️

ahh thank you anon you are so so sweet! ♡ I’m so happy that you liked my Jisung stuff! I love writing for that boy hehe and thank you so much for requesting love!! this is my first seventeen ask I’m so so excited to write more of them in the future! my brain really took this one and rannnn with it, it ended up a bit harder than I intended, I hope that’s okay and I hope that you enjoy it!

what i want most |reader x jeonghan |

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x yoon jeonghan

Genre: lil bit of smut, lil bit of angst

Tags: harddom!jeonghan, bratty!reader, enemies (competitors) to lovers, college au, jeonghan being our fave cocky boy, bestfriend!seungcheol, mentions of school work, slow-ish burn, masturbation (reader), use of degrading names, dumification, hook-up, choking, marking, spanking, facefucking, gagging, use of safe symbols, nipple play, overstimulation, unprotected sex, creampie, slight exhibitionism, semi-public sex, sex in a study room

Word count: 4k

Someone told you once long ago that hate is a strong word. Apparently, they had never experienced loathing before. To you, hate always seemed to be something playful, something a little teasing. When your best friends would mock you for the most insignificant things, you would say “cut that shit out. You know that I hate you right?”

Loathing is much more fun. Loathing holds more of an edge. Loathing keeps you up at night, and lingers in your mind. Loathing digs into your skin like a papercut, coming back to sting later when you stretch your skin. Loathing made you feel all twisted up inside. This one super-massive emotion is one that clings to you and makes you jealous and irritable, and the best of all, competitive.

You don’t know what you would be without loathing...if not for him.

But as much as you loathed him, he was the perfect elixir of sugar-coated poison.

He kept you up at night. He lingered in your mind.

Everything about you, he had to do too. You didn’t know at this point if it was some kind of joke, or that the two of you had miraculously been crafted to be just that similar.

Since the day that you had met him three years ago in undergrad, there wasn’t one class that the two of you didn’t share. Every single job that you applied to, he would apply to as well. Each professor that you would introduce yourself to, the next day he would be cozied up next to them talking about some kind of bullshit and pretended to care about their personal lives. He even chose the exact same grad program as you.

When the two of you graduated, it was him who sucked in his lip, never breaking with your eyes when he received higher honors than you. He probably loathed you too.

That would keep you up at night too.

There were other things about him as well that would creep into the corners of your sleep deprived brain. You would stare into the darkness of your room, eyes glued to the ceiling with your mind exploring shameless answers.

During these dark nights, your hand would absentmindedly cascade down your body, snaking your fingers down the soft of your skin. Behind your eyes, it was him sending shivers down your body. It was his lithe fingers, not yours, that would reach down to your aching sex to pleasure you into all the fantasies that only remained within the confines of your own mind. Before you would climax, it was his name that you whispered out into the air, not even knowing that you did.

“Jeonghan.”

•·················•·················•

“Are you going to finish that, or what?”

Seungcheol rummaged around your bag of chips that were barely touched.

Your highlighter skimmed over your page, you twisted the writing utensils around in your hand to scratch down a note with your pen. Truthfully, you hadn’t heard him.

“...I mean, if you don’t, I will. Can’t let stuff like this go to waste.” He held the bag in his lap, happily crunching away and tapping his foot a little.

“--Can you chew quieter?”

“...Me?”

“Yes, you.” You bopped him softly on top of his wavy caramel hair with your marked up article.

Seungcheol cringed and rubbed the top of his head as if you had hit him with something much denser than a stack of paper.

“In my defense, there isn’t really a quiet way to eat chips.” He popped another one in. “Are you gonna be done soon? It’s too...still out here.”

“You’re the one that suggested coming here!”

His puppy-like face turned combative. “I did!...only because I think it’s pretty though.” Your friend shied away, trying to uphold his promise of “chewing quieter,” and subsequently failing.

He wasn’t wrong however, the courtyard in the middle of the library was very pretty, and you had been glad that he had suggested the two of you take lunch there. Inside the square shaped yard, a few trees had been planted with low swaying branches of little oval shaped leaves. There were hedges and a myriad of flowering plants with petals that were pink or yellow or purple. Somehow the little square was untouched by sound, save for a couple songbirds. Had you not a copious amount of work to take care of, you would have admired it all for hours.

“--And to answer your question, no, I will not be done soon. Sorry. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Seungcheol cooly threw one of his arms over the silver outdoor chair next to him, shaking you off. “I don’t mind. I don’t have anything else that I really wanna be doing right now.”

“--Your thesis maybe?” You crashed your knee into his under the table and threw him a teasing smirk.

“I said, anything that I want to do.”

You nabbed one of your chips back. “Suit yourself then.”

The door to the courtyard clicked, followed by the creak of the old library door. Such a metallic sound stole the tranquility of the whole space.

“Y/n.”

Jeonghan came floating behind you, dressed in his usual attire: some type of glamorous pairing of dress pants and a button down as well as shoes that looked as if they had just been shined. He wore some kind of cologne that draped after him with a dizzying type of efflorescence. Everything about him was meticulously planned, down to the few purposefully unkempt strands of chocolate brown hair on his forehead.

He craned his neck a little to see your messy scribbles.

“You’re reading Nebasifu?”

Jeonghan leaned over you, tracing a finger over the neon orange highlights you had made. He shocked you with how close he had let himself get to you, practically encapsulating you in his arms. You found yourself staring into his neck, that floral scent forcibly permeating your air.

“Hmm.”

He hummed as he read over your notes. “Interesting conclusions right? The fact that in governance we create more problems when trying to solves the ones we have already made? It’s all so circular isn’t it?”

Your sweating palm crunched the paper out from under his fingertips.

“--Really interesting. I’d like to finish it...if you please.” While your words were polite, but they still bit.

“I can recommend more similar readings if you’re interested?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for the offer.”

“If it doesn’t make sense, you can always reach out, we can talk it through...I’ve found that discussing--”

“--I said that I’m fine. Nice talking to you Jeonghan.” You cast your eyes down to your paper and attempt to slow your viciously beating chest.

fucking leave. You pleaded, knuckles turning white around your pen.

“Alright then. See you later.” He straightened his glasses upon his nose bridge. “I look forward to hearing what you have to say about the topics later.”

He swept his hand lightly across your back. It was the most fleeting of gestures, but your entire body froze from it.

Jeonghan situated himself at one of the benches and drew out a book. He sat in the direct beams of the afternoon sun. The brown wisps of hair that hit the light looked nearly golden. You loathed that he was breathtaking without even really trying.

Seungcheol grinded his teeth, muttering out, “Fucking creep. He can’t talk to you like that.” Even quieter, “I’ll take him out for you if you want me to.”

You stifled a laugh. You couldn’t help your eyes which would flutter over to him like it was forbidden.

“No, don’t do that. But thank you ‘Cheol.”

“I’ll do it! I swear...”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan had a terrible habit. Not like it was particularly distracting, it was just something that you had taken notice of. From where you would sit nearly across the room from him, he would remove his glasses, then rest one of the temple tips between his lips. Sometimes, the click of his teeth would meet the plastic. It was a simple action, but the way that the little curve would rest on the pink of his lips made your mind wonder...the poison that would leave those same lips couldn’t have been real; not when they looked so sweet.

“--anyone want to share what they got out of the readings and case studies? What can we learn about our interference and the sovereignty of other states?”

You were only partially paying attention when Jeonghan silently rose his hand.

“I think that Y/n had a particularly interesting oponion on this. We were discussing this previously.” He curved his body around to meet your eyes which had already been inspecting him.

With an expectant crossing of his arms, your professor approached your desk. “Y/n?”

Everyone’s eyes were on you, but Jeonghan’s burned with the hottest flame.

You took your shaking hands into your lap, then gave your oponion as eloquently as you could, swallowing down your nerves. As usual, you were perfectly well spoken, as you knew you were. The professor nodded along with each point of your argument.

“--Very well articulated Y/n. And your counterpoints are provoking as well.” He finally turned to pace away. “Would anyone like to expand?”

Your professor’s body mass moved, revealing Jeonghan’s nearly sinful prideful smile. It was like he had given you a test, and you had passed magnificently. With the cock of his head, he mouthed,

“that was lovely.”

“I’d like to expand.” He piped, removing his glasses. Just as he always would, he tapped them between his lips, letting the skin fall a little by them. You had noticed it before, but they were smooth and plump. “I think that Y/n is correct...in many ways, but some points are a bit misguided, I would argue....”

•·················•·················•

[09:23 pm]

cheol: you coming back anytime soon? i can’t believe you’re doing this to me on a friday. is it really that serious?

[09:26 pm]

me: need I remind you that you should probably be here with me? thesis papers don’t write themselves.

cheol: and I should remind YOU that we literally just got off break? they aren’t due for months.

i know what you’re trying to prove.

it’s not worth it.

what does that asshole have over you?

“--Shouldn’t you be back at home with that golden retriever of yours?”

Jeonghan’s pen tapped at your table, white sleeves rolled up. The day had taken it’s toll on him. The bags under his eyes proved that even someone as picturesque as him could still be effected by your long days. Nevertheless disheveled, he was just as alluring.

“And shouldn’t you be flirting with one of your students?” You clicked your phone off.

“Cute. Luckily I’m not one of the desperate ones starving for the attention of the little undergrads. That's a different kind of pathetic.”

“Hmmm. I just thought that it was the attention that you were after.” Heat rose to your ears while you breathed your beating heart down.

"Who doesn’t like attention? Especially if it’s from the right people...speaking of undergrads...”

Jeonghan’s slender neck twisted to eye the obnoxious group of students huddled up on a table, giggling and making a mess of their snacks.

“You’re studying out here? I can’t even--”

“--I appreciate the concern, but you’re not helping my focus either.”

“Am I...distracting you?” Jeonghan swept his warm brown hair to the side with the cock of his eyebrow.

You shook out a sigh. “Yes.”

“You don’t have an office?”

“Department didn’t have any more.”

“I’ve got a study room that I host study sessions in. You want to use it?”

“You’re offering to help me?”

“Listen, I know how hard our program can be, and I appreciate how hard you work. You deserve a quiet place to work.”

“Are you complimenting me?”

“Don’t make me change my mind...and what would I do if the competition suddenly dropped out?” He tapped the table with his fingertips. “That wouldn’t be very much fun.”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan’s study room was simple, just like all the others in the library. It was stark, white, the tables were a bit banged up and the white board was riddled with little ink remnants. There were glass windows nearly everywhere so you could overlook both the outdoors and the rest of the library on the opposite wall. As the two of you entered, he calmly closed all the blinds.

“No distractions right?” He looked back to you.

“...do you have something that you need to get done too?”

“Not really. I’ve submitted a good chunk of my thesis for review.”

Of course he had.

“I’m just waiting to hear back.”

He crossed the room to sit directly next to you, slinging his legs up on the table and taking out that same book from earlier: it had some pretentious title that you had never heard of before.

“Don’t mind me.” He chided your straying eyes. “I’m only staying to lock the door after you.”

“I-I’m not...” Your eyes feel back to your computer and you typed at your keyboard just to fill the sound of the quiet room.

Sitting this close to you, you could smell that dizzyingly sweet smell of his again.

You loathed him for the way that he could be doing nothing and you could be enthralled in merely that.

Jeonghan’s eyes didn’t leave his page. “The more that you look at me, the less you’re working.”

You hadn’t even noticed.

“I guess I’m more distracting than I thought.”

Furious heat rose from the pit of your stomach to the tips of your ears.

“What the hell do you get off on?” You spat.

He calmly placed his book on the table. “What are you referring to?”

“For the past three years, you haven’t left me alone for a single second, you-you always do everything that I do like you’re on some kind of sick quest to prove that you’re better than me, better than anyone else--”

“--You think that I’m copying you?”

“Wha-what else would you be doing?”

“--Getting an education? God, you think that I’m the attention whore, aren’t you hearing yourself?? You must think that I’m obsessed with you.”

“What is it then? A superiority complex so fucking huge--”

“--You’re asking what it is that I want?”

You nodded back with heaving breaths.

“What I get off on? Well...” Jeonghan chuckled a little and raked his hands through his brown strands. “You don’t deserve to know. But there is one thing that I’ve wanted for a while that I haven’t been able to get my hands on. I suppose that’s what I want most.”

“And that is?”

Tentatively, he rose his hand nearer to you, saying nothing, his aura shifting from cocky to intrigued. At first, his fingers traced over the skin of your hand as if he was drawing little pictures into it. After he brushed his hand up your arm to weave a little strand of your hair around his fingers.

“I said you don’t deserve to know.”

You must have been in a daze; some kind of waking intoxication before your thoughts could catch up with your actions. It was almost as if you weren’t thinking anything at all, but where acting on prime instinct. Your whole body screamed with utter frustration: every word that he spoke to you make you loathe him even more, you wouldn’t ever let him get away with it.

There was something that you too wanted most, no matter how abhorrent it was.

Your thighs squeezed into his sides where you had straddled him in his chair, holding on to him so tightly it hurt your muscles. The haste on your lips on his was messy and hot, a smearing of skin and teeth crashing together with fury, tongues rolling off eachother with an undeniable hunger. His arms didn’t wrap around you but rather clawed in your hair, pulling slightly at the roots while he pulled you in impossibly close. The mixing of your gasping breaths together where whiny and yearning. As he kissed into you, his lips curled into a devilish smile.

In your arousal, you shoved your hips into his lap, grinding down into your excitement and seeking some from him. To your surprise, you could feel his hardening dick which only made you weaker. All the hundreds of little fantasies that you had held so secret started to dance in your mind; your darkest thoughts pleaded for him to destroy you, to ravage you, just as you had imagined.

Jeonghan’s lips tore from your own which he had worked until they were swollen. He mouthed down your jaw to your neck, sucking at the skin with no chance of mercy, he pulled and sucked until you could only pathetically beg for him to slow down for fear of him breaking the skin.

He stopped immediately to pull your shirt over your head and pick up his work there. The wet of his gorgeously plump lips on your skin was as perfect as you had imagined and it sent shivers echoing through all your limbs.

“Jeong-Jeonghan--”

This time you perfectly aware that it was indeed his name that would escaping off your tongue.

“You dumb slut, you thought I didn’t know that you wanted me?”

“You-you want me too?”

Jeonghan worked at the buttons on your pants.

“Wanting implies that I like you. What I want most is to make you my toy. There’s a difference.”

You mumbled out the words knowing exactly how he would take them. “I’m not a fucking toy.”

Jeonghan tsked and unbuttoned his own shirt. “You don’t get to decide that.”

You drew your fingers down his model-like toned chest, marveling in the pink lines. Jeonghan grunted in response, taking you by the underside of your thighs to throw you down on your back against the hard plastic. Once he had the chance, he ridded you of your bottoms, running his hands up your inner legs to send you reeling. For a couple seconds, you could have sworn that he had stopped to admire your body, but he wouldn’t let you tell too easily.

“That door isn’t locked.”

“What? Are you scared that someone could walk in? Scared to for someone to see you all splayed out like this?” He rose to kiss up your stomach and up to your nipples. He flicked them between his fingers. “To have someone see me making a wreck of you?”

“N-no.”

With saliva drying on your sensitive buds, they turned hard in seconds when they met the air. Jeonghan wasn’t hesitant to pull at them with his teeth slightly, making you whine for him even more.

“What should I do to you first?”

One of his hands trickled down your body to palm at your quivering sex, slick with your excitement for him and aching for the smallest of touches.

“You want it that bad? Stupid whore.”

Your hand ventured down to tease at his own dick over the fabric of his slacks.

“You want it that bad?”

“Get off.” He growled at you, then took you by the arms to jerk you off of the table and onto your knees at the floor. Under your knees, the burn of the carpet stung. His belt buckle jingled a little as he hooked a finger in to remove it. Afterword, he shook his pants off followed by his briefs, springing loose his twitching member with the tip pink. He combed his fingers through your hair while he tapped his dick against your lips.

“Fucking take it.”

You would have fought him on it, but you succumbed out of your pure curiosity over his girth.

At first, you coaxed him into your mouth, not going in too deep as you were fearful about his length. Regardless, you took him in as best as you could, hollowing out your cheeks and throat, sucking with your lips and grabbing at his legs.

Jeonghan hissed out a sigh, letting himself fall further into the warmth of your mouth. He pushed at your head slightly, bringing you in just deep enough to trigger your gag reflex.

“Mmm there you go.” He cooed.

You kept going as he liked it, gradually working up in pace while it got a bit harder and harder for you to catch your breath.

“That’s as deep as you can go? Can’t even take a dick into your throat?”

His grip on your head tightened.

Jeonghan whispered, “Squeeze my leg if you want me to stop.” before helping your head all the way down, causing you to gag even harder and for tears to well in your eyes. “That’s more like it.”

He continued guiding your head, and slobber started to form around your mouth You felt so weak and pliable around him, he was thankless aside from the tiny moans he would let escape past his lips for you.

Usable as you felt, it was still a deliciously addictive feeling.

All at once, he tore out of your mouth to bring you back up to your feet. In seconds he had turned you around to bend over the plastic tabletop, elbows digging into the cool surface. By now, you were practically dripping for him with knees and legs weak from kneeling. He kicked your legs open farther, gifting your ass a piercing slap that stung, then another followed after.

“Hungry for my cock, hmm?”

He teased your entrance without warning, sending your body crumbling over the table into a mess of whimpers and curses clenched behind your teeth. His lithe fingers were your fantasy come to life.

“I-I can’t wait any longer...” You urged him on.

Jeonghan pushed your face into the table then slid his fingers above to curl around your neck. He encircled around the skin slowly, then dug in to close your airway. You choked out desperate little sounds, then he entered you carefully, making sure that you felt every part of him.

“Hmm. Pretty...” He allowed you. Even though it was just one word of praise, you reveled in it.

His pale fingers choked you harder for a few more seconds until he properly got his pace inside of you, letting go to hold you by your waist. Once again, he clapped his hand into your skin as he fucked into you. All you could manage to do with your hands was claw helplessly at the smooth tabletop seeking some kind of balance that was nowhere to be found. He grazed the deepest and most sensitive spot within you and you felt yourself nearly reaching your climax.

“I-is that all that you can do?” You turned his confidence back against him, spurring him on just as you had wanted. He snapped his hips even faster, groaning out as he neared his release.

“My pretty little fucktoy. You’re all mine? Got it?”

Jeonghan leaned over your back to pant the words into your ear.

“Fucking say it.”

“I-I’m...” Your focus was scrambled as your orgasm pooled within.

“I’m yours...your...pretty-mm-fucktoy.”

Jeonghan came inside of you with white heat, pulsating forcefully, with you following soon after while he milked himself with your walls. Even as you still came down, he rolled his hips into you over and over until your whole body was shaking helplessly.

“That’s right.” He pulled out, then pulled your legs apart to watch his cum fall out of your hole.

Jeonghan laughed to himself, “Thank you for giving me what I wanted.”

239 notes · View notes

shorkbrian · 4 years

Note

Ahhh, if it's not too much trouble, can you do another part to that pervy sero post where he makes the reader watch porn and stuff, but this time like... fully forces himself onto reader to make sure sure learns abt the stuff he forces her to watch, or maybe he gets kaminari to join in to prove how "normal" it is for friends to watch porn together? Thank you so much!!

Hi!!! bro of course I can!

Prelude - Sero is saved the trouble of thinking up an excuse to get reader to come “hang out” with him because reader gets some bad anxiety the second he approaches her! I tried to make it clear that reader is like HECKA anxious but doesn’t realize it cause sometimes!!! you aren’t able to tell!!! and if your partner is a specific breed of awful, they’ll take your hesitance and vulnerability and swoop in and coerce you into doing something you aren’t sure about. Also, Sero knows a lot about sex and is manipulating reader and giving her false information. Don’t be like Sero.

Prompt - above babeyyy

Pairings - Sero Hanta X Reader

Warnings - NSFW, coercion, dub con, non con. Sero is a manipulative little bitch.

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/7po7c8LzxTZ0ybU41qT5gD?si=5a1Bo4SURJmaQGw-gky-kA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, (Y/N)!”

You ignored the cheerful voice calling your name, continued walking through the crowd of students towards your next class, backpack slung over your shoulder.

“(Y/N)! Wait up!”

You knew who the voice belonged to. You knew Sero was just going to ask you to hang out in his room after class, or wanted to show you another inappropriate picture or video off one of the lewd sites he frequents. If you were unlucky, he’d pull you away from class, make up some stupid excuse and beg for you to come hang out with him cause he’s “lonely” and needs a friend.

Ever since he had you jerk him off (over his boxers) in his room, you’d avoided your friend like the plague. You felt so awkward around him now, embarrassed in his presence. You really felt uncomfortable spending time with him, even when the rest of your friend group was present. He had said it was a normal thing for friends to do, that he and Denki watched porn together all the time.

Still, you just felt…. Well, weird. The whole situation was weird and you preferred not to think about it, to just avoid Sero and keep your head down, focus on school and training and your other friends.

Sero had other plans.

A hand grabbed your shoulder, spinning you around to face , almost throwing you off balance.

“Why’re you ignoring me? I called your name like, six times bro.” Sero pouted down at you, eyes big and round and you could already tell he was going to guilt you into doing something you’d rather not.

Taking a deep breath, you forced a quick smile on your face, before answering your friend.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Aw, it’s fine.” He patted your shoulder, before guiding you (pushing you) to the side of the hallway, out of the general traffic of the other students. “Anyways, I’ve missed you. I feel like we haven’t been able to hang out, y’know… just the two of us.”

He hadn’t removed his hand from your shoulder, soothingly rubbing his thumb over your uniform. It was hard to focus on what he was saying while he was touching you, while he was pressing you closer to the wall, shielding you from the throng of other students with his body. It was so loud, everyone talking to their friends, talking about homework and the upcoming math test and-

“Are you okay dude? You seem kind of…. Out of it.”

You were kind of breathing hard, and your stomach felt bad. It hadn’t before? Maybe you were coming down with something. You shrugged, trying to knock his hand off your shoulder. His dimpled smile faltered as he drew back, giving your body a concerned once-over.

“Actually, I don’t feel too good right now Sero… I think I’m gonna go see the nurse.” Before you could push past him and head for the nurse, Sero grabbed your hand, putting his other hand up to your forehead. His skin was cool, soft, fingers long as they pressed to check your temperature.

“Hm, you don’t have a fever. You probably just ate something bad at lunch. I have Tums in my room, c’mon, they’ll help you feel better!” The male grabbed your wrist, tugged you away from the wall, hesitating when you dug your heels in, reluctant to go with him.

“Ah, that’s okay!” You sputtered, “I have class and I don’t wanna miss it, and uh, I don’t know what “Tums” are, and my mom told me I should try to stay away from medicine cause-“

Sero’s abrupt laugh cut into your rambling, and you stopped talking, looking up at your friend in confusion.

“Tums are antacids that help settle upset tummies dude! I take them sometimes after I smoke a bit too much.” He winked at you, dimples showing as he smiled.

“Plus class is gonna start any second now, you’d be late anyways. Might as well skip.”

The bell rang.

You fidgeted, looking around at the now-empty hall, not realizing that the other students had slowly dissipated, filing into their respective classrooms. Sero was right, you didn’t feel feverish, you just felt nauseous and shaky. Maybe taking an antacid would help? Sero was your friend, he was just looking out for you, it wouldn’t hurt to skip class and hang out in his room, would it?

Your stomach twinged, and another wave of nausea bubbled up inside of you. That made up your mind.

“Alright, fine. But if I get in trouble, it’s your fault!” You conceded, smiling as Sero pumped his fist in the air.

“Yeah! Hangout time!”

“But -“ You paused, biting your lip. This was an awkward thing to say to him would he think you’re a bad friend? “Can you uh… well, can you not do anything like….. weird?”

You hoped he knew what you meant by “weird”.

“Weird” was touching your friends in intimate places, or having them touch you.

“Weird” was watching porn together, asking your friends which part they thought was the sexiest. “Weird” was the feeling that arose whenever Sero approached you, the sinking of your stomach, the gross taste in your mouth, the cold sweat that broke out whenever he asked if you wanted to “relieve some stress” with him.

“Of course, I’d never do /anything/ to you that you wouldn’t like. I’m your friend, (Y/N), and friends take care of each other.” Sero assured you, letting go of your wrist to give your shoulder a reassuring pat. You exhaled in relief, smiling back at him, before Sero started moving again, motioning for you to follow him. “Now, let’s go get to helping you feel better.”

——

Sero pulled open his desk drawer, urging you to “Go ahead and get comfortable man” with a gentle nod of his head towards the bed. You let your backpack slip to the floor, sighing when the heavy weight left your shoulders. Sero hadn’t made his bed that morning, but you figured he probably hadn’t been expecting company.

Smoothing out the blankets, you took a seat, watching your black-haired friend sift through his desk drawers, looking for the antacid tablets he had promised.

A triumphant “Aha!” signaled that he had found them, holding the little bottle up high as he turned towards you. But the male didn’t offer you the bottle, nor open it to measure out the tablets for you. He shook it, but there was no familiar noise of pills rattling inside, instead the two of you were met with silence.

“Aw, shit, I’m sorry (Y/N). I guess I used them all up.” The empty bottle was placed on the desk. “But I have another idea that might work, if you’d like to try it?”

You shrugged, hand coming to poke at your stomach “It’s okay, don’t worry. I can just go to the nurse-“

“C’mon, that’s on the other side of campus. You really gonna walk all that way? Let me help you out.”

“Really, I’ll be oka-“

“Naw, I found something you’ll probably like - It’s a good flavor.”

You could do nothing but blink at your friend as he plopped down beside you on the bed. He was holding a bottle, one that looked almost like faceewash? But he had said it was a good flavor - did he want you to eat it? You summed all your thoughts up eloquently -“What the fuck is that?”

Sero shook the bottle before he popped open the top, squeezing a gelatinous goop onto his pointer finger.

“It’s just something that tastes good, y’know? Like uh,” He thought for a second “Jelly! Or like a Gogurt but less sweet. Might help your stomach to settle down.”

Of course Sero would still eat Gogurts. He probably had a stash of them somewhere that he saved for after he smoked, when he got - you had learned from Mina what it was called - the munchies. He offered his pointer finger, obviously wanting you to taste the goop; you did nothing but stare at it.

“Don’t be like that, c’mon, try it! It’s good, I promise.”

You weren’t swayed by his playful urging. And you definitely weren’t going to lick that stuff (whatever it was) off of Sero’s finger. Realizing you had no plans to move, Sero sighed, before bringing his finger up to his mouth and popping the digit in to suck off the gel.

“I swear it tastes good, you’ll like it. Here, give me your hand?”

The goop was room temperature, thick, kind of like aloe vera. You brought your hand up to your face, touching your thumb to your pointer finger to feel the gel Sero had squirted onto your finger. It smelled faintly like artificial strawberries, a bit too sweet and unnatural, similar to the fake strawberry scent of a bad candle. You tried not to wrinkle your nose. Hesitantly, you swiped a bit of the gel off your finger with your tongue, smacking your lips together as you savored the flavor.

“Haha, I was right, wasn’t I?” Sero laughed as you licked the rest of the sweetness off your finger, and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Yeah, so shut up, you Gogurt eating baby.”

Sero rolled his eyes as you stuck your tongue out at him. “I knew you were gonna bring that up! Let it go man, Gogurts absolutely rock.”

You ignored his statement, eagerly sticking your hand out so Sero could give you more of the gel. Despite its suspiciously artificial smell, the gel actually wasn’t too bad. A surprise, but a welcome one nonetheless. Sero held out his hand.

“Ah, wait, I wanna try something.”

With a questioning look in your eyes, you watched Sero toss the bottle to his side, watched the male scoot backwards, spread out his legs. He reached for his pants, started unzipping them, and that’s when it clicked.

“Sero, I can’t believe you, again? This is so weird and so gross, I’m not touching your penis. It was fucking awkward the first time, and I’m not doing it again. Go find some other girl to - to do whatever it is you’re doing!”

Outburst finished, you huffed, cheeks flaming, ready to grab your backpack and stomp out of his room. The nauseous feeling was back, your stomach tight and legs wobbly.

Sero burst out laughing.

“Jesus (Y/N), do you even pay attention to the videos I send you? I mean, “penis”, really?? No one calls it that except for like, sex ed teachers or weird perverts.” You sputtered in indignation, irritated firstly at his nonchalant manner, secondly by the round-about way the male accused you of being a pervert.

Before you had a chance to open your mouth to defend your word choice, Sero continued.

“I thought it was clear “what I was doing” when I brought out the lube. It’s like you’re not even trying to get comfortable with sex stuff. I’ve been putting all this effort into being a good friend, trying to make sure you won’t get made fun of for being a prude. I help you not look like an idiot when you don’t know what Denki’s saying when he talks about how his latest lay could deep throat. I’ve offered to teach you how to kiss like, a thousand times. Seriously, I’m just trying to help you out, and you’re acting like I’m trying to hurt you.” Sero buried his head in his hands.

“I…… That’s not….” You trail off, distinctly reminded of the last time you were in his room, when you hadn’t known what to say and ended up with your hand on Sero’s crotch; the ravenette talking you through what was happening in the porn he was having you watch. It hadn’t been pleasant, but it had been informative. You hadn’t learned much, but you knew what anal was now, so…. there’s that.

“I’m doing my best to help you learn this stuff, but if you won’t even look at the videos I send…”

You knew Sero was just trying to look out for you, but you don’t remember ever asking him to teach you about sex. You weren’t sure you wanted him to.

“Look, Sero… I just feel like this is a bit too much. I don’t wanna…. Well, I don’t want to…. y’know…”

“Fuck? You aren’t ready to get fucked so good you cry? I get that.” Sero interjected, meeting your eyes with a smirk before you could look away. “It’s really intimidating your first time, but I wasn’t going for that.”

You lifted your head. “You weren’t?” He had been unzipping his pants, what else could he have been getting ready to do? It’s not like hanging out with a friend required nudity. At least, in your experience.

“Of course not, I know you couldn’t handle something like that.”

That stung. Did Sero think you were weak? What even was going on - he was sweet one second, and then almost mean the next. Backhanded comments and rude suggestions, you wished he was teasing. Maybe you were reading this wrong, and he was just teasing you? Him and Denki got a kick out of flustering you when the three of you met, and every time they ran into you after that, even after you joined their friend group.

“I was gonna show you how blowjobs work, and it’ll be easy since you like the taste of the lube.”

Appalled, you jerked away from your friend, eyes widening. “Woah, woah, I just said I don’t want-“

“-To fuck, I heard you.” Sero assured you. “But this is - it’s not even sex, it’s a blowjob. C’mon, it’ll be okay, blowjobs are easy.”

He was grabbing the bottle (which you now knew held lube) and shuffling his pants down, along with his boxers. You didn’t have time to protest before his cock was out, twitching in the cool air of his room. Sero hissed at the temperature difference of the lube as he squirted a generous amount of it into his palm, wrapping his hand around the reddened shaft.

A few quick strokes left his length glistening, covered in the gel, applied so generously that a few drops rolled down, dripped onto the wiry black pubes at the base. Sero licked his palm messily, doing a poor job of cleaning off the excess lube, urging you to crawl forward and kneel between his spread legs.

“Here, see? It’s fine. We’re not even gonna think about deepthroating or face-fucking, alright? You go at your own pace.”

You felt sick. But it’s not like Sero was forcing you to do this - he wasn’t shouting or holding you down; his posture was relaxed, easy smile showing off his dimples. You didn’t like the sound of “facefucking”, and you knew what deepthroating was, and you were relieved Sero didn’t expect that of you. Taking a deep breath, you scooted forward, pausing before any part of you came into contact with the black-haired male.

“I don’t know…. What….?” You whispered, afraid of your own voice. You were blushing so hard, you wanted to cover your face, but that would just draw more attention to the fact that you were beyond embarrassed, flushed and sheepish. You’d really rather not do any of this, but Sero was right - it wasn’t sex, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Just one friend helping out another, right?

“Just start out slow, y’know? Try to lick all the lube off.”

His suggestion seemed easy enough, so you leaned forward, darting your tongue out to hesitantly lap at his cock. You were met with the pleasant taste of the lube, able to detect an underlying flavor of salty sweat. It wasn’t horrible.

You grew bolder, letting your tongue loll out of your mouth to lick broad stripes up the shaft, making Sero groan and fist his hands into the blankets by his hips. The sound made your insides twist, but you were fine - this was fine.

“Aw, you’re doing good. Mm - you can try putting a little bit in your mouth if you want. But watch your teeth, dicks are sensitive okay?”

You put the tip into your mouth, trying to make sure your teeth didn’t scrape or bite. Running your tongue around the squishy glans, you jumped when you felt Sero’s hand on your head. But he didn’t grab, push you down further or hold you in place. The ravenette let his hand smooth over your hair soothingly, petting at your head they way one would pet a cat.

“Fuck, can you - can you try sucking on it? That’s how you give a real blowjob.”

It was hard not to gag, hard to draw your thoughts away from what you were doing with your mouth and the soft, tight skin you were rubbing with your tongue. It felt weird, you felt weird, and you weren’t sure it was in a good way. But you wanted to try your best, not leave Sero hanging. You remember what he had said last time about teasing bitches, and you were afraid he might think you were leading him on if you stopped now..

Breathing through your nose, you hollowed your cheeks, creating a tight suction around the head of Sero’s cock. When you sucked, his dick jumped (it was hard to keep your mouth wrapped tight around his dick - you hadn’t been expecting it to move), and Sero patted your head softly.

“Yeah, just like that. Keep going.”

You did, rhythmically sucking at the glans, rubbing your tongue around the spongy head, popping off occasionally to lick up your excess saliva before it could roll too far down his length. Sero became increasingly more vocal, low moans and blissful sighs leaving his lips in between his gentle instructions.

“You, ah, you remember what we did last time? When you used your hand?”

Drawing back, you nodded. “A hand job.”

“Mmhm, good job. Do that around the part that’s not in your mouth, yeah?”

Tentatively, you wrapped your hand around the base, cringing at the slick feeling of too much lube and your own saliva. You gave the shaft a long, slow stroke, before fitting your mouth over the top again, suckling hard.

Sero let out a throaty groan, encouraging you to move faster, tighten your grip just a bit, suck a little bit more of his length into your mouth. His cock jumped again, once, twice - and then warmth spurted out of the tip.

You gagged immediately and pulled your mouth back and off his length. Before you could remove your hand, Sero trapped it under his own, using your palm to jack himself through his orgasm, abs tight and head tilted back, his dark eyes closed in bliss.

When you had given him a handjob for the first time, the male had cum, but the mess was (mostly) contained by his boxer briefs.

Thick streams of whiteish fluid (cum, you knew from the few videos that Sero had forced you to watch) streamed out from the tip, slowly bubbling over and coating your conjoined hands, making everything even messier.

Sero gradually released your hand, letting you pull back from his body, trying not to cringe in disgust at the stickiness covering your hand. You wanted to wipe it off, clean up - now that Sero had orgasmed you were going to run to the locker rooms and scrub yourself in a hot shower.

But as Sero panted, uncaring of the mess dripping to his sheets, he caught your gaze with his own, giving you a lopsided grin. “That was really good (Y/N), you’re a natural.”

The praise reached your ears, but you didn’t feel the little spike of pride that you normally associated with being complimented.

“Uh… Thanks, I guess.”

Sero reached over to his nightstand, snagging a pocket-pack of tissues, pulling out a few for himself, tossing one to you. You scrubbed at your cum-covered hand, sopping up the mess before lobbing the soiled tissue into the wastebasket by his desk.

“Okay, um - I’m gonna go now, I guess I’ll see you later.”

How did one leave gracefully after such an exchange?

Sero’s hand shot out (thankfully now clean) and grabbed your ankle, swiftly pulling you towards him across the bed, causing you to fall onto your back, squeaking in shock.

“Hold on! You’ve got me off twice now, it’s bad etiquette if I didn’t try to return the favor.”

“No! No, really, I’m okay!” You held out your hands, leg wriggling to free yourself from his grasp. “I don’t mind, it’s okay!”

Sero cocked his hand, slowly beginning to rub his hand up and down your calf, in a mockery of a massage. “I know you’re okay, I want to make you feel great. I’m good at this next part.”

He winked, the hand not rubbing your calf coming to pull at your school skirt, flipping it up to reveal your panties. You whined, trying to push it back down, cover yourself, but Sero clicked his tongue, easily batting your hands away.

“Don’t be shy baby, you got nothing to hide.”

“Sero, this is really making me uncomfortable - I don’t -“

“Shh, hey, you know I would never hurt you. I’m your friend, and I only want what’s best for you.”

Your panic was rising, blooming in your chest like a heavy flower, petals dropping and falling to your stomach to dissolve into acid that boiled into nausea. But that was just nerves, right?

Sweat was already pooling on your back, slicking up your hands, making your hair cling to your forehead.

Sero was your friend, but this was starting to feel a little unfriendly. But you didn’t have time to think when his hands were pulling down your panties, exposing your cunt to his hungry gaze.

“Damn, you’re real pretty.”

You squirmed, opened your mouth to protest, but Sero was hefting one of your legs over his shoulder, opening you up for easier access to your folds. He was going too fast, this was all going too fast and you couldn’t-

Long fingers swiped along the outside of your pussy, sending a twinge of sensation (pleasure?) up into your tummy. They stroked up and down, spread your folds, tapped around the puffy pink skin until they came in contact with your clit. With a gasp, your hips involuntarily bucked, chasing the sensation. Sero grinned at you.

“See? It only gets better. Let me take care of yo, it’ll all be okay.”

His fingers continued to pet you, slowly collecting wetness as it seeped out of your pussy, shame coloring your cheeks and making your arms curl across your chest, as if to hold yourself. Sero didn’t seem to mind, not when he was so focused on touching you.

He used his other hand to pat around the bedspread, looking for the lube he had so carelessly dropped earlier. When he found it, you heard the cap flick open, and then the cold gel was squirted onto the top of your slit. You gasped, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to keep your hips from jumping forward when Sero massaged the lube onto your pussy, using three fingers to smush and spread the lube around.

It felt exquisite.

Your thighs were tensing, short, little spasms of the muscle each time his fingers came into contact with your clit, and you could feel your pussy pulsing, oozing out wetness. Breathing shakily, you whined when Sero traced a single finger around your hole, teasing.

“I’m gonna finger you open, alright? You look so sexy like this, letting me make you feel good.”

His finger entered you slowly, a long, steady press. It was uncomfortable, but not exactly unpleasant, and smooth due to the lube. You wanted him to wait, to let you adjust to the intense sensation, gather your senses, but the ravenette kept steady, drawing his finger out at the same pace before pushing it back in.

Sero’s thumb rubbed at your clit, swiping back and forth, smushing the little nub and making you (to your embarrassment) moan. It felt good, the nausea in your stomach fading as the pleasure built.

Next thing you knew, Sero was fucking you with two fingers, then three, increasing the pace on each addition. Your hips were bucking wildly, thrusting down each time his fingers pushed up, fucking yourself on his long, slim digits.

“Sero, Sero, ah, ah-“

You cried, and your friend swore under his breath, before his hand left your cunt empty. Opening your eyes, you barely had time to look at the male questioningly before he was grabbing your hips, flipping you over onto your stomach. You squirmed, able to feel your hole clenching and unclenching rhythmically - you felt unusually empty.

“Sero?”

Something hard and hot was pressed against you, Sero leaning over you, his legs on either side of your own as he pulled your hips up and back, putting you on your knees.

“Calm down, I’m only gonna put in the tip. It’s not sex, no need to worry.”

The tip?

You realized what was happening, why he turned you over, what was pressing up against your folds, what the male mean’t by “just the tip”

“Wait!!-“ You thrashed, breathing heavily, clawing at the sheets to pull yourself forward, away, anywhere but pressed up against your friend.

But Sero was stronger than you, had your hips in a bruising grip as he pressed forward, his cock breaching your hole. He kept you still as he thrust shallowly, keeping to his promise of “just the tip”.

It was bigger than his three fingers had been, and the stretch burned. It quickly simmered to a slow build of pleasure in your tummy, ramping up when a hand snaked around your hip, coming to roll and pinch and slap at your clit gently.

“Sero!” Whining, you couldn’t stop your hips from moving, pushing back towards that delicious friction against your clit, the gentle thrusts just barely entering your cunt. You didn’t want him to go any further, but your body craved for more.

The male seemed to sense this, or maybe he was just too wound up, but on his next thrust, he went too far inside, kept on going, pressing, rutting inside your until he was buried to the hilt.

Sero had officially gone too far.

“This is-“ you gasped as he rubbed your clit feverishly, interrupting your thoughts., distracting you from the burning stretch of his entire cock being plunged into you. It was a struggle to regain them again. “Sero this is too-too far. It’s wrong! Stop!”

He laughed, his throaty voice trailing off into a groan.

“If it’s so wrong, why are you about to cum? Girls can’t cum if they don’t want it.”

Horrifingly, he was right - you were about to cum. The pleasure was building and rising, it wouldn’t stop. You had no time to breathe, or to even cry as Sero began hammering into your cunt, energetic, chasing after his own pleasure while speeding you towards your own.

Each thrust hit deep, his hips twisting on each thrust so his cock /swirled/ up against your walls as he pushed into you. It was entirely too much, and yet he wouldn’t stop. He was moaning and swearing behind you, puncturing each push of his hips with a “so good baby” or “your pussy is so tight, fuck.”.

You didn’t know what to focus on.

Sero shifted, and his next thrust hit something deep inside of you, and you couldn’t help but wail as you came. Sero groaned as your pussy squeezed him tightly, his thrusts increasing in speed until he pulled out, furiously jacking his cock over your back.

You barely even flinched when you felt warmth drip onto your skin, where your shirt had ridden up.

No longer held up by Sero’s strong arms, you collapsed forward onto his bed, confused, relaxed, filled with countless emotions that you couldn’t even begin to identify. Sero flopped down beside you, utterly spent, panting heavily. There was silence between the two of you as your breathing evened, coming down from your high. You felt exhausted.

“Sex feels really good, doesn’t it?” Sero broke the silence, reaching over to rub your shoulder. “I’m sorry about going so deep, guess I got kinda caught up in the moment, y’know?”

You didn’t.

At this point, you didn’t even know what to feel.

Didn’t even know what to do.

#yandere oneshot #yandere sero hanta #Sero Hanta #sero x reader #yandere #yandere boku no hero academia #sero #manipulation #tw dubcon #tw coercion #don't like don't read #nasty

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frogtanii · 3 years

Note

Wind anon’s reaction to “xxiii. exiled” in PF! Two days late; but here! Okay, I’m just gonna dive right into it

Iwaizumi starting off strong with a “anyone mind telling me what the (fudge) just happened” (yes, wind anon tries not to curse. It’s a thing). The irony is that he was there the entire time. So he may have saw YN barge into Meiko’s room. He may have heard YN call Meiko a female dog. But he also heard and saw Meiko slap YN first. So it’s honestly amusing that he’s the one asking what happened. I guess he’s in disbelief sure... but is it rude for wind anon to like him not knowing what’s going on? Because this means he has to know what happened before YN got slapped. What caused her to be so angry at Meiko? What did she whisper to Meiko? Iwaizumi is in the best place to get on YN squad right now and that is the most ironic thing I’ve seen so far. But moving on...

Meiko... you made it physical first... YN’s been carrying the entire house so hard that there is no way she isn’t strong as heck. Suga’s POV was indeed simping for YN but I might write another poem just on YN’s eyes. Every day we are reminded of YN Supremacy. But back on track, Meiko’s text really does match the fact she had mascara running down her face and she is a mess. I’m impressed by her usage of the emoji actually, because I didn’t think she would be able to see well enough to type up messages in her state. Oh wait, is that too mean? Wind anon always has underlying salt...

YN!! Our queen, angel, love of our lives, you make us so so happy— her messages...from “funny you would bring up that word” to “it’s a promise”—YN is so hot. So cool. As a villain, she would steal the show. YN as a villain would be millions of times more attractive than Meiko— YN with smoky eyeshadow, sleek eyeliner, and mascara, with reddened lips—please, she would be too dangerous for our hearts I cannot—

Okay, I could go in forever with YN appreciation but I already wrote... what is this, 3 paragraphs on just the first image so wind anon has to move forward haha. Osamu telling Atsumu to “put yer girl on a leash” and I’m like, eyebrow raise and scoff, because Meiko has leashes on all of you and you shouldn’t have leashes in a mutual healthy relationship because you should have equal power, agency, and rights— cough cough, but Osamu did say YN was Atsumu’s girl so that’s amusing to me. I think it would be interesting to see his reaction when the whole truth comes out. He will feel inadequate compared to Atsumu surely. How...heartbreaking it would be...

Atsumu is number 1 YN supporter and it really shows. First, defending her autonomy and ability to do what she wishes, while also mentioning he is behind her, supporting her, and defending her. The back is an important place because if someone is behind you, it’s hard to see and defend. Atsumu being at YN’s back shows trust and reliability. YN believes that Atsumu will protect her and have her back.

Kenma’s snark with “u have eyes don’t you”. This connects back to the beginning with Kenma telling Sakusa about how he thought he was cool that way—really shows how they have grown from interacting with each other, you’re absolutely brilliant fr0ggy, imagine being able to convey this much character development from 5 words—you’re so cool!

Okay, Meiko being suspicious part... 21 or something. She is so obvious I cannot. She bring up calling the cops first, and now she is like “nope, no can do, let’s just keep it all quiet, nothing, no cops” I am baffled. She is...not slick. Not smooth. But I give her the benefit of doubt and just say that she was too beat up after YN because I cannot believe her idiocy and I need this for my own sanity.

But I see Oikawa...I see him looking for logic. That’s good, very good, I’m excited. And Meiko’s response... how brash.

YN’s crew being all chill. Feeling myself be quenched. YN chooses violence and walks away beautiful. I bask in her glory. And Meiko trying to defend herself but YN really did hit her a lot so I don’t know how she can say that when there is evidence (her face) of her getting hit multiple times.

Daichi being “I’d love to see if YN’s reasoning for attacking you has merit” and I am like, tilting my shades down to be like “do you even see this?” I am... okay, moving on—

Sakusa! Omi! Sakkun—I love him so so much. I wanna trace all his moles and see if they can make constellations. Just imagine him tenderly holding your fingers in his hand while he dabs at your bruised knuckles.

Okay, I don’t want to get into the BS that is them deciding to exile YN to her room. There are ways to schedule for them not interact. Just give them different blocks for kitchen/living room or whatever. Meiko has a consistent schedule for her YouTube. YN has a decently flexible schedule. Iwaizumi is a hecking manager, there is no way he cannot plan this, and if needed Meiko or YN could get someone else to get them food or something so they don’t interact with each other. Oh well.

Meiko is like TNT...she blows everything up...kaboom. Her existence causes her own destruction... I am almost...awed? I also might make a poem involving YN’s past with Meiko and the psychology of Meiko because it is fascinating how she operates.

Blowing up at Iwaizumi and Oikawa who are part of your greatest supporters...she amuses me. Like a clown. A fool. But even jesters and fools require brains for jokes. I like seeing her get kicked off her thrown by YN.

Okay, this is it for my reaction to exiled, moving on to the next one rn!

wowie!! i gotta say, i now ship wind nonnie x yn, ur so v eloquent when u talk abt her it makes me so happy hehe <333

#MY BRAIN ISNT WORKING LMFAO #BUT I LIKED THIS REACTION A LOT #j’s asks #anons babey #℗ poker face #wind anon

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jzixuans · 3 years

Note

hello tell me about jal if you’d like

okay round two because i accidentally lost the first one mx homie i owe u my soul for indulging me

i was talking abt this earlier w august and i’m gonna try to be more eloquent abt it because i’m being Perceived TM

BUT. tldr jal calling themselves partners in crime is something that can be so personal

their very first interaction in isle of the lost is when jay steals her coffee on the way to school. mal makes him give it back but ultimately just. lets him have it because “you look hungry.”

of course she gives it to him under the pretence of it tasting like utter dogshit but it is absolutely clearly a front to maintain her reputation. jay accepts it with a “‘thanks, mal. i was starving’” and a “‘thanks, you’re a pal,’ he said in all honesty” which i would really like to dissect here because:

1) these kids are so adamant about the fact that they are Evil and Heartless Bastards and Don’t Have Friends

2) jay thanks her TWICE in the span of one breath. for villains who live by the mantra of “if you want it, take it. and if you can’t take it, break it” it totally would’ve been acceptable behaviour if jay just took it and drank it and didn’t say anything, but he DIDN’T.

3) he calls her a pal. mr oh no officer we’re not friends i’ve never seen this girl in my life calls her a PAL. yes i’m losing my mind over this one single word but he literally does in fact call her his friend TO HER FACE and i think that’s beautiful <3

4) he says it HONESTLY. this boy’s whole entire thing at this point is being a liar and a thief who uses deception and charm to rob you blind. the fact that he’s comfortable being open and genuine around the supposed evilest teenager on the entire goddamn island, where mal totally could’ve found a way to get him ridiculed for being a softie (which he totally is), speaks volumes to their relationship

5) mal just. gives it. to him. with hardly any fight. because he “looks hungry.” she can insist all she wants how she’s cold and cruel and uncaring but this moment already sticking her foot in the Goodness door. this establishes her as a leader and a friend who looks out for what’s Hers. of course she still has a ways to go, so we can assume that this is something she wouldn’t do for just anyone. she wouldn’t even do this for evie and carlos, who we know to be her future best friends partners later, so the fact that it’s jay who gets to be on the receiving end of this compassion and companionship already elevates their relationship to something special

jay would clearly follow her to the end of the earth and i think everybody on the isle is at least a little bit of a self-preservationist, so i don’t think this is something he would do if he didn’t have good reason to. he’s also content with letting her lead even though we see him as a perfectly competent leader in d2. conversely, on numerous occasions we see mal trusting jay to hang behind and watch her six.

she leads and lifts them up from the top, he supports them as the foundation and the anchor at the bottom. that’s their dynamic.

second part of me diving into this analysis of one sole page of the book is the fact that they refer to each other as “partner in crime”

again, these kids have been raised on distrust and deceit and sabotage and betrayal. i imagine that to call someone your partner in crime is the most intimate title you could give on the isle of the lost. (which makes jay’s statement of “he and mal weren’t friends, exactly, although they were partners in crime” all the more hilarious because they really just skipped the friend zone and went straight into an intimate relationship)

because i’ve been watching s&b, here’s what i think being partners in crime entails:

trusting each other to carry out whatever task

trusting the other’s process

trusting the other to have your back and help you out of tight situations

maintaining a certain level of communication in some shape or form

spending a lot of goddamn time together

trusting the other to not rat you out

knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses

SPLITTING THE LOOT

so what we see here is that being partners in crime means having an ungodly amount of trust in each other, even if what jay and mal do are largely just petty crimes because this is an island crawling with villains who would not hesitate to do terrible things to those they catch wronging them

it also means that despite “not being friends” they spend SO much time together, whether it’s getting together to plan heists or running from angry shopkeepers or regrouping in their hideout giggling as they compile their score for the day. given the amount of back-and-forth we see between them, they DEFINITELY talk a lot during this time spent together, which means that learning about each other is inevitable

i capitalized splitting the loot because jay’s entire character in iotl is represented by his greed and his need to satiate his father’s greed and how he’s waiting for The Big Score that will get him and his father off the isle and living life like the sultans they wished they were and More Is Better. mal’s whole thing is that she needs to do things By Herself, take all the credit, be the biggest and the baddest on the island, a title that isn’t big enough for two.

yet here they are, splitting the glory, the thrill, and their winnings. (yes i know that they’re in a competition to see who’s the better thief, but i refuse to believe that they don’t split what they have afterwards, especially since we see them trading what they already have)

partner also labels the other as their equal, which is out of character with the roles mal and jay try to play on the isle yet so fitting for who they are as people

not to mention that this title wasn’t given to them by some derogatory or condescending comment. no. these two nerds made the ACTIVE DECISION to call themselves partners in crime. this is something they’re PROUD OF.

thank you for coming to my ted talk :)

#this is all somewhere between the fourth and fifth page of of the first descendants book #*fourth-fifth page of the second chapter #yes i'm losing my mind no i didn't edit this #if this isn't coherent rip i tried lol #long post #homeinabookshelf #ask #descendants

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domjaehyun · 2 years

Note

Do you have any idea how hard I laugh at your tags on your other account? You are like, famous Twitter account type funny. You could be famous. It’s insane bro ur so smart and witty and ELOQUENT. AHHHHHHHHHHHH SICKENING!! I love you hahah you’re MUCH funnier than me. Also I knew you’d demand actual business stuff from Mr. Lee Sooman JSJSJSJ exactly girl FIX NCT - 👄

DSFGJFDLJKDFS REALLY i'm honored omg,,,,,, i'm glad,,,, no i don't think i'd be successful on twitter i'm too Opinionated i'd have my main acc then a priv for that acc then that acc would probably have another priv bc too many ppl found the other one and i'd feel bad declining,,,, then....... you see where i'm going with this.....

this was all a set up to say that i actually DO have a more private acc on here that literally no one knows abt and i deliberately don't rb things to it bc i don't want ppl knowing it exists dfjksghkl but i don't really use it That Much?

but no ppl would try to cancel me the second i showed up to twt ://// they'd prob analyze my behavior and realize i don't acknowledge a bunch of neos sjdfglkjdk THEY'D LOOK AT MY ACC WHEN TEASERS DROP AND REALIZE THAT THE ONLY TEASER PICS I ACKNOWLEDGE ARE OF MY FAVES :// if i'd liveblogged the concert on there like i did on here last night they'd be like YOUR SILENCE DURING THESE PERFORMANCES WAS INTERESTING and i would have to be like "bc i simply Did Not Care abt them idk what to tell you"

tbh though i prob wouldn't even have a cc on there :// like maybe we do Not need to speak i will just talk at anyone willing to listen 💖 also as you can see i talk WAY too much for twitter :// ALSO that shit is way too public like . imagine i'm lusting after haechan and i say some fuck shit and ppl start tagging nct's official accs in my replies? i'd have to beat everyone's ass !!!!!!! twitter is like walking down the street talking to yourself out loud and tumblr is like muttering under your breath in a shady alley

ANYWAY sorry i rambled dfjkskj i love you too heheheh thank you for thinking i am funny :D and yes i'm so serious LSM let me fix it please i will enroll johnny in remedial rapping or smth but tbh i think that while i COULD help him i wouldnt rly want to bc that would require speaking to him 😭he'd prob crack a joke to try and break the ice and i'd be like "😐😒... anyway." (he would also figure out it's a specifically him thing bc he'd leave and haechan would come in or smth and i'd start making an absolute fool of myself) but THANK YOU YES i could help, LSM,,, i could do it,,,,,

#answered #anon #👄

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villainscomplex · 3 years

Text

First Love / Late Spring

now who let me get away with falling three days behind on asanoya week yike

anyway @asanoyaweek21 day 2, mythology, made my own myth abt the seasons, pretend i'm not sleep deprived and this is the most eloquent a/n you've ever read ty

(no but fr this tested how well I REALLY knew how the hell seasons worked)

Also on:

AO3

Wattpad

FFNet

Quotev

----------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, the story goes, there is nothingness. The world is empty and lifeless, composed only of dirt and rock and fire and ice. There’s no history in this world because there’s no one there to record it, and maybe there never was. At first, there’s only the world and the silence.

The universe takes some sort of interest in this world. It’s inhabitable, suitable to become something greater than what it was made to be. It sends a being made of a thousand suns and starlight, and when that being touches down, grass sprouts beneath his feet. He is made of warmth and brilliance, of all the light the universe thought to offer him. When he walks, life blooms around him, taking the form of arching trees and brilliant flowers.

He is called Summer, and he is the beginning of everything.

In the beginning, it’s only Summer, a being barely held together at the seams with no vessel to contain him. He’s merely a concept, a breath of air racing across the earth and leaving beauty in its wake. But even a being as infinitely existing as Summer was not all-powerful, and his warmth couldn’t reach all recesses of the world.

On the other side of the world, a being was born from the earth. He is made of ice and all of the cold the dirt has to offer, composed of darkness and a promise. Winter is born from the ground, and where he walks, the world dies. Their worlds collide, and on the border of that balance, two more beings come to be.

One appears in a spark of brilliant, golden light, wreathed in warmth gentler than Summer’s. His laughter brings new beginnings, and with him come young animals, deer, foxes, and birds sprouting from the enormity of his being. He is Spring, and his arrival sparks a new cycle of life in the world.

The other being is slower, more hesitant. He doesn’t appear as quickly as the others, as if he’s already prepared to leave the world he’s only just come into. He unfolds himself slowly, not warm like Summer or Spring, but not quite cold like Winter. He brings hesitance with him, curiosity, and melancholy. His arrival is the beginning of endings, and they call him Autumn.

The four of them create a cycle; Summer flows into Autumn into Winter into Spring. Summer never meets Winter and Autumn never meets Spring, for the fear of any disastrous consequences for the meeting of the opposite. From this cycle comes balance, and from balance comes life.

Humanity is a gift from the universe. Summer looks upon them like his young siblings, though they know little of him, they relish in his warmth. He gives them laughter and fun, heat and nourishment. He finds enjoyment in watching them, even as they grow and change.

But all things came to an end, and like their cycles, humans grew and changed and eventually died. Sometimes, Summer is there to witness it. He watches them go beneath the sun, and he is silent when their loved ones mourn. Sometimes, he’s sleeping, in the wake of Autumn taking what half had been his for the quarter of the year.

It’s Spring who comes up with the idea to take their form.

When Summer awakens to take Spring’s place, Spring swirls around him.

“We could take the form of humans and take their names! That way, we can walk among them and teach them to care for themselves and our world. I know they aren’t endless like us, but I’ve heard them tell stories. They’ll pass everything on and we can admire them up close!”

Summer thinks it’s brilliant. Spring is naive, but he was the one to create the animals and humans had taken to them. He watches before his eyes as Spring shrinks and condenses, his unperceivable form wavering and adjusting until it settles into a short, humanoid shape. When the light sinks away, Spring stands before him as a boy with wild orange hair, eyes as warm and brown as the freshly melted earth. He holds his arms out wide, and light flows from his very being, coating him in luminance.

“I haven’t decided on a name,” Spring tells him, “but when I do, I’ll tell you! I’ll talk to Winter, too, but you’ll have to handle Autumn. I’ve heard he’s elusive, isn’t he?”

Spring knows little about Autumn, just as Summer knows little about Winter. They never meet, and the cycles will never allow them to, but Spring seems content either way. He’s curious about Autumn, so he’s heard from Summer and Winter, but even they know little about the elusive season of endings.

Summer nods. “I haven’t met him properly,” he admits. “He always creeps in when I’ve already gone to rest.”

“Weird,” Spring huffs, more expressive now with his human features. “Well, I’ll tell Winter then when I go to take his place next cycle. See you next time!”

Spring bounds away with flowers in his wake, leaving Summer to wonder about Autumn as his warmth fills the world.

It doesn’t matter now. Winter is taking Autumn’s place, and Summer won’t see anything of him until it’s his turn on this side of the world. Perhaps he’ll have the chance to run into Autumn for once, but he gets the feeling Autumn doesn’t want to be found. Summer doesn’t understand why, but the fourth season is quiet and withdrawn, seldom interacting with them more than he needs to.

Summer stops thinking about Autumn when he begins to cross his half of the world, bringing the earth into full bloom. As he runs, he begins to shape and change, a broad grin coming to his features as he takes on a human form. Summer takes the stardust and light he’s made of and compresses it into an impossibly small form, shorter even than Spring’s new form, and his amber eyes streak with golden light.

Summer takes the form of a dark-haired boy, electric gold streaked through the front of his bangs. He’s small and unassuming for someone as infinite as him, radiating warmth and energy and life. Everything within him buzzes to go, and so he does, spending his time among the people, bringing them joy and life.

Though he looks like one of them now, there’s still something otherworldly about him, and some people call him a god. They’re not sure of what, but they know he brings only good for them, and the sunlight itself is drawn to every fiber of his being. It dapples his hair and flares off of his skin like a golden glow.

Summer knows nothing of names, and so when they ask, he only smiles.

Though regretful, his time on this side comes to an end. He feels the slow chill creep in as Autumn awakes, though he doesn’t know from where. His warmth wants to combat it, and Summer is eager to try, but for now, he withdraws it into himself. He can’t linger long, but perhaps a little extra time wouldn’t hurt. He’s painfully curious, and Summer is nothing if not stubborn.

Autumn is quiet when he comes. Summer watches the leaves brown and wither with his arrival, and the life around them grows lethargic and somber. This is the beginning of endings for some. He hasn’t seen Autumn all the way through, but he’s heard enough from the humans to understand what happens.

Autumn startles when he realizes Summer hasn’t departed yet. He withdraws immediately, fleeing into the trees. The leaves begin to turn colorful shades of browns and reds and golds, and Summer almost wants to stop to admire them, but he’s hot on Autumn’s heels.

The other entity swirls into the trees, and Summer forgoes his human form to catch up.

“Wait!” He gasps out, crash landing in a clearing and rolling onto the forest floor, condensed back into his human shape.

Autumn hesitates, just behind the treeline. He doesn’t emerge, but Summer knows he’s there.

“You always run from us,” Summer frowns. “But I don’t know why. Do you not want to know us?”

“It’s for the best,” Autumn speaks up, voice soft.

“Huh?” Summer frowns. “That’s stupid. Shouldn’t we talk sometimes if you’re always taking my place?”

Autumn withdraws a bit. “...Why do you look like a human?” He finally asks.

Summer grins. “Spring thought of it. He thinks we’ll be able to help better this way. It’s hard to maintain this form, but I like it. I haven’t thought of a human name yet. What do you think?”

Autumn creeps along the trees. Summer watches the one he touches lose its leaves. He seems reluctant.

“I’m okay this way,” he finally says. “They wouldn’t like me. Everything starts to die when I come around and I see the way it makes them unhappy. I’m different from you.”

“That’s stupid,” Summer frowns, moving forward.

Autumn starts. Before Summer can think to follow, he’s vanished into the distance. Summer frowns after the other season, but it’s time for him to move on. Autumn is strange to him, fickle and hesitant. Summer doesn’t understand him, but perhaps he isn’t meant to.

Either way, it’s time for him to move on. For now, he’ll rest. Soon, he’ll go to take Spring’s place in their never-ending cycle. He glances back in the wake of Autumn, and then turns his gaze forward and moves on.

The next time he sees Spring, his appearance has changed a bit. He’s still the small, orange-haired boy, but now freckles blossom across his face and he’s filled his form. He beams when he sees Summer.

“I talked to Winter,” he tells him, “and he said he’d think about it. I’ll convince him next time I see him, for sure!”

“Better than me,” Summer sighs, “I got two words in towards Autumn before he ran away. It’s so strange.”

Spring reaches out, patting him on the back. It’s a strange feeling. They’re capable of touch in their natural forms, but it’s so abstract that Summer has never given much thought to it. It’s different in these forms, more physical and grounding. He doesn’t hate it.

“I thought of a name,” Spring tells him. “Or, well. Winter thought of it, but I like it!”

“Yeah?” Summer tips his head. “What is it?”

“Shoyo!” Spring announces, throwing his arms up. “It fits, I think!”

“Shoyo,” Summer echoes.

He’s right; it does fit. It sounds right for Spring, fitting in a way that only self-picked titles are. Summer voices his agreement, and Spring - Shoyo - bids him farewell, speeding off into the distance. Now it’s Summer’s turn on this side of the world, the issue of a name weighing heavily on his mind. He doesn’t see Autumn again this cycle.

The other season comes late to avoid him, and by then, Summer is long gone.

(On the other side of the world, Winter takes the form of a tall boy with hair like night and eyes as blue as ice. Spring takes Winter’s red-tipped fingers into his hands and fills them with warmth before the taller one goes.

Shoyo tells Summer about Winter’s new form before he too, goes.)

Summer waits, this time. Autumn is startled to find him there, visibly freezing when he spots him as if he’s let down his guard and expected Summer to be gone. It’s sunset when Autumn arrives, the end of one day into another. There’s something final about it, though Summer knows the sun will always rise on a new day. There’s a half-formed thought in the back of his mind, but he turns his attention to Autumn, instead.

Sure enough, Autumn hasn’t taken a human form. Summer is sure it will take more convincing, but he’s determined to bring Autumn into their circle more than he’s been thus far. They’ve been here for cycles and cycles already, but Summer is astounded by how little they know about their last member.

“Why do you keep waiting for me?” Autumn asks, hanging back away from where Summer sits in the grass, watching the sun sink.

“You know,” Summer starts, “in the beginning, it was just me. The universe put me here because it thought something could be made of it. Winter came because I can’t cover the whole world. You two came for balance. This world isn’t like us; it needs the balance of all of us to survive and thrive.”

Autumn hesitates. Slowly, he joins Summer in the grass, settling beside him like a blanket.

Summer grins over at him. “Do you watch the sunset a lot? It’s sort of like an ending too. The end of a day, a month, a cycle… Humans come up with some interesting things. Even though it signifies an end, it’s not permanent. That’d be like saying nighttime is bad, but some things flourish then, too.”

“Are you trying to change my mind by comparing me to the day cycle?” Autumn asks.

Summer laughs, loud and free. “Maybe. Is it working?”

Autumn stays quiet for a long moment, watching the sun sink. It isn’t until darkness sweeps across the world that he rises.

“Maybe,” he murmurs.

Summer watches him vanish over the crest of the hill.

(The next time Summer sees Shoyo, he’s decided on a name.

“Winter did too,” Shoyo laughs. “He’s Tobio. What’s yours?”

“Sorry, Shoyo,” Summer grins, “I’ve got someone else I have to tell first.”)

Summer doesn’t see Autumn again for an entire cycle. The first time, Summer decides to give him space, but by the time he needs to leave the other side, it’s a little more upsetting. He goes through a human’s year without seeing Autumn, and then another. The name waits in his chest.

Autumn comes early the next year. It’s the middle of the night, and a moment later, Summer might not have recognized him. He changes as he descends, all the hesitance and endings pressing itself into the shape of a tall man. When he unfolds, his brown hair falls past his shoulders in gentle waves and his dark eyes are careful, scanning the world around him like he’s seeing it for the first time.

Summer shrieks so loudly that he sees Autumn’s new form physically flinch in reaction. He pays it little mind, sprinting the short distance and flinging himself at the taller man so aggressively that they both go down in a whirl of leaves and dispensed forms. Autumn reforms slowly beneath him, still not accustomed to piecing his human form together as quickly as Summer.

“Ow,” he gets out.

“Where have you been?” Summer demands.

“Sorry,” Autumn frowns, “I’ve been… thinking. I lost track of time.”

Summer frowns down at him, and then disperses his human form, condensing again into it a bit away. He watches Autumn stumble back to his feet, still hesitant and unsure in this more solid form. It’s a good look, Summer will admit. It fits Autumn.

“Sorry,” Autumn says again.

“You apologize too much,” Summer tells him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “Just don’t do it again or I’ll wait even longer next time.”

Autumn smiles a hesitant little smile. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.”

He needs to go soon, but since Autumn is here early, he has a little bit of time. He gestures to the other season.

“Come on,” he says, “let’s watch the sunrise. I’ve got something to tell you.”

Autumn looks a little scared, but his curiosity visibly wins out. He follows Summer through the trees. Summer leads him on and on until they finally come to an overlook where the view of the dark sky is clear. The sun isn’t quite rising yet, but he can see the light getting ready to come up over the horizon.

“I’m glad you decided to try,” Summer tells him, sitting down and stretching his legs out. “Human forms are strange and different from what we’re used to, but it’s a good difference. I like it. I think you will, too.”

Autumn slowly sits beside him. Summer watches him run his fingers through the grass, lips parted in surprise at the sensation.

“Have you thought of a name?” Summer asks him, laughing.

“No,” Autumn admits, shaking his head. “I don’t know where to start.”

“I decided on mine,” Summer tells him. “Do you wanna know?”

Autumn’s expression gives him away before he can even reply. Summer laughs, leaning back on his palms as the sky streaks with reds and golds.

“I decided on Yuu.”

“Yuu,” Autumn echoes softly.

Something about the way the other season says it cements it in Yuu’s chest. He doesn’t have a heart like humans, but if he did, he’s sure it would be racing. Autumn brings his knees up and leans against them, watching the golden light peek over the horizon. It’s warm when it washes across the horizon; after all, summer hasn’t quite passed yet.

“I like it,” Autumn says.

“What about Asahi?” Yuu asks abruptly.

The birds flee from the nearby trees. Autumn visibly starts.

“Huh?” He asks. “I thought you were going with Yuu?”

“Not for me,” Yuu turns to him. “For you.”

“Asahi,” Autumn echoes, and then again, “Asahi.”

He seems to genuinely ponder it for a moment. Yuu watches the expressions cross his face rapidly. The suggestion had been a spur of the moment, and he doesn’t remember where the name had come from, but something about it just fits Autumn.

“Okay,” Autumn murmurs, finally, “Asahi it is.”

The sun crests over the horizon and lights Yuu’s entire face in a brilliant glow. His smile shines even brighter.

Yuu leaves later that day. Asahi sees him off, and he seems hesitant like there’s something he wants to say but he can’t bring himself to. Yuu doesn’t push it. He doesn’t know what they’re building, but it’s still tentative now, and they’ve got all the time to do it. Yuu isn’t patient or subtle, but he doesn’t want to chase Asahi away again.

“See you next time,” he says.

He streaks away into the day, leaving light behind where his footsteps had been.

Time goes on, and people make up new tales. Sometimes, winter lasts longer than it should, and some say the groundhog saw its shadow. Others will say that spring came along, and winter stayed behind to spend a few extra days by his side.

Sometimes, at the end of summer, the last few days are hotter than the rest. Someone might say it’s because the earth is growing hotter every year and humanity is pushing it. A mother might tell her child that it’s because the summer is happy to finally greet the fall.

And maybe two men might overhear her on the sidewalk, hand in hand, a mysterious twinkle in their eyes and something strange and otherworldly about them. But if anyone knew the truth, they seemed none the wiser.

In the end, autumn comes, leaves fall, and life changes in a burst of color.

#asanoya #asanoyaweek21 #azumane asahi #nishinoya yuu #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#marimo writes #fuck shit i'm so far behind AHAHAHAH #shrieks #oh yeah #kagehina #kageyama tobio #hinata shoyo #i forgot abt them again sigh

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bright-eyed · 3 years

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Hi, I’ve been loving your blog recently and I saw in your reading list you have Women who run with the wolves and I have tried to read it but I always feel not ready. I have this longing to be wild, crazy, passionate, intense. But instead I’m lukewarm, I overthink. I think I’m too identified with myself if that makes sense, do you have some words of advice or something?

Helloo! Very extremely sweet of you to say this. Tbh I thought about this question for a long time, as I was unsure whether I really had anything of value to offer you. When I first read this ask my first response was to laugh because the thought that any person would ask me for advice about anything is super funny. I was like “oh that’s just so adorable.” And then I started writing a response and while I had a whole lot to say I don’t know how much of what I said will be helpful to you. But I hope it is! So here goes…

Maybe what would help you to figure your own situation out is for me to tell you what changed for me. So to start, I should say that I have literally felt the same way about this book for years. It was a book I had read a portion of the way through when I was like 17 that I thought about picking up again more often than I thought about picking up any other book, until now when I’ve decided to do it, almost 6 years later. I never really felt like it was time for me to read it. Partly because it was, for me, one of those books where I could only get through a page or two before I had to set it down and like cry/laugh/lay on the floor and rethink my entire existence/realize I’m still in my wolf girl phase/etc. It was also partly because it felt too intense to handle, as fragile as I felt at this point in my life (late teens/early twenties). And what stopped me, I suppose, was that I believed myself to be fragile. I believed myself to be unready. I believed myself to be bound by what I was, following rules I couldn’t understand but nonetheless acquiesced to, as most people do.

I like what you said abt feeling too identified with yourself. I used to talk about identity and ~the self~ a lot on this blog (tho not with any sort of point or like… clarity or eloquence) and that years-long thought process/public argument with myself basically led me to the conclusion that I am not necessarily anything in particular. Or that it’s not as important what I “am” as it is what I do and make and believe and all that stuff. I talked about that wrt sexuality the other day, but it applies to other parts of my life too. I used to take for granted all that I was and because of that I never thought very seriously about making myself and my life into what I wanted it to be. I was a victim of the circumstances of my life, and I had certain characteristics that I believed I was born with and believed I must die with that would prevent me from ever changing that. For some reason who knows but that’s just what I believed

And then I got to the point in my life where my circumstances could no longer be tolerated, and thus my identity/my self, the self that I had been so loyal and obedient to for so long, could no longer be tolerated either. So the idea of an ephemeral self and the propensity for transformation became less of a theoretical argument I endlessly considered because I evidently enjoy driving myself crazy with unanswerable questions, and more of a guiding light that I decided to follow hoping it would lead me to a place more tolerable, where I liked my life and myself more, or maybe even followed my dreams of who I wanted to be in this world. It became a focal point in my life. Cuz it was then like my only way out of the hell that my apathy had made my life over the course of years. And it really is just as hard as crawling out of the Underworld. I don’t really know if I’m doing it or if I’m just fooling myself. But the act of trying has been enough to change so much of my life. I am open to change, and thus to the whole universe, in a way I wasn’t before. And because transformation was (and still is…) this urgent matter that I need to complete before I go crazy, it is less and less important if something happens at the right time, and more and more important that anything happens at all. I want to always be moving in some vaguely forward direction.

And like… the truth is that there are no natural laws of what we must be. This is uncomfortable for most people to hear, and salvation for some others to realize. Perhaps everyone has certain predilections, or maybe we all have destinies or something that guide us into certain well-worn paths, and this very quickly becomes who we are and how we conceive of ourselves. But by the laws of human nature as I understand them (which, disclaimer, is not an excessive amount), there is very little to say you cannot be what you want to be. If you can realistically imagine it, if it is something that anyone else is capable of being, I think it’s possible for you to become it. It’s not easy to change, just like it’s not easy to make your way out of the Underworld or Plato’s cave or IKEA, but with the right tools, it’s possible. It’s a skill you learn, like learning to walk. But you shoot yourself in the foot when you have any loyalty to fixed identity, to rules of yourself that you must follow, to essentialism, to anything but your own will and feelings and dreams and imagination. And imagining is usually the part people can’t get past. I think once you get past it you’ve got a good chance.

We are not doomed. Who says we are doomed? Who says you must be lukewarm? Who says you must overthink, just because that’s what you’ve always done? Who says you cannot be passionate? Intense? Wild? Crazy? If I didn’t say it and no other person said it and the universe didn’t say it and no gods said it, then the only person left to decide is you. And it’s something that you, as the determiner of who you are, get to decide every day. Sometimes, in my experience, multiple times a day. I’m sure there are many arguments and philosophies centered around how much a person can reasonably change, but I don’t really care. If it were impossible to transform, we probably never would have thought to argue about it. The fact that it’s considered a possibility worth arguing against makes it real. And how exactly you as an individual change from what you have been to what you will be is an individual matter that I am utterly unable to work out for you, but as it seems possible for me I think it’s possible for you too.

But I also need to say this: when we change, and I mean like truly change, we risk losing almost everything we have. We risk our positions in our communities or in our families, who might reject us for what we become, or misunderstand us as our new selves and attempt to supplant us with our old selves, alienating us from them and all that we know. We risk our belongings, what we consider important to us, sometimes because we have it taken away or lose it somehow, and other times because after we change we may no longer consider those things important or be able to find the solace in them that we once did. We risk our mental health, even when we make changes that eventually benefit our mental health, because plunging into the depths of ourselves and molding a new self from the dark matter we find there is one of the most noble, difficult, and terrifying feats a human being can undertake. We risk safety, security, stability, which give us firm footing in our worlds, inner and outer.

When we change, we don’t walk, step by step, into a new self. We do walk until we reach an edge, we build our strength, but then we have to jump. We can’t rely on the ground we always took for granted, or the planet we’re used to living on. We jump through a darkness, and if we make it through to another world, we learn to live again.

It takes an enormous amount of effort, and quite some time. Maybe for some people it’s a bit easier, like it depends on how open you are to change or something, or maybe how introspective and self-aware you have been with yourself in the past, how practiced or good you are at that. But for everyone, there are these things you must have: a deep understanding of what you are now, a strong idea of what you could be/want to be/will be, a resolute will to change, a perseverance to see it through and to defeat all obstacles, and a confidence that, no matter what, you will be okay. Because while we can lose almost everything, we can’t lose our will to be. We adapt and survive and find ourselves when we hold on to our will to be.

And I really think you can become this person you describe if that’s what you want. I really don’t know if this want to change was that deep to you or if I could have just gotten away with saying that and you can be anything you can dream insert barbie princess movie quote here… but I hope this was helpful lol

And it is not my place to tell you for certain what you should do with your life. I trust u to make that decision for yourself. I also don’t trust myself to make that decision for you cuz idk your life… but I think we should always be open to experience. And there will never be a right time in the future or the past to do anything, because really the only time we have is the present. It’s the only thing that’s real. So you should do what you think is right for you, but you don’t need to wait for permission to be the person you want to be or do the things you want to do. You already know what you want and need and you don’t need to deny yourself those things until someone or something else tells you you can have them or you prove it somehow. I think really you just need to give yourself permission.

I sound like knockoff askpolly 😭😭🤐

Thanks for reading! Hope you have a good day <3

- Kenna

#Anonymous #kennapost

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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years

Text

[drumming] BEAST WARRRS

wow, me and ruth watching MORE transformers stuff?? its more likely than you think

sooo yeah we started watching beast wars. which seems like the logical next step after reading the comics and watching tfa, tfp, (some of) g1, cyberverse, even the live action movies back in the day...

however ruth and I have always ruthlessly bullied beast wars bc of how outdated the cgi looks, stating that no matter how good everyone says it is, we can never watch it bc its so ugly

we watched a couple clips, even, including the fight scene from ep2 which is SO funny I'm sorry and we were like ‘yea we cant watch this lol’ BUT LO AND BEHOLD...HERE WE ARE....

so yah this was probably inevitable but yea, ill probably write a few of these post just giving my scattered thoughts

so! so far we’ve watched like 8 eps and I gotta say....I like it a lot so far

as ruth says, ‘it feels like an actual show’ (as opposed to g1 which imo feels more like an extended-toy-commercial-slash-acid-trip)

like, even in the first couple eps, its clear there's actual plot and characters

the bad cgi is admittedly distracting at time, similar to the animation errors in g1

in terms of the plot, I find it to be really interesting - I like the explanations for the beast forms w/the energon making their robot forms short out

the premise is like, so wild to me, in a meta sense - like, this was basically the followup to g1 (ignoring g2, and all the japanese stuff like headmasters and victory), and its SO wildly different than g1 - premise-wise, beast wars feels like something you'd get 20 years down the line in the franchise when they're trying to go at the source material from a new, fresh angle

instead its the follow-up to g1, bc I guess being able to sell toys that transform into animals rather than cars is a good market

oh man is this show 90s. like, it came out in ‘96, so obviously its gonna be 90s, but sometimes it just slaps you in the face w/it

like...the music. lmao like the guitar riffs that play sometimes are so hilariously 90s that I feel myself regressing into an infant (the state I was in irl during the 90s)

plus the dialogue...like half of what cheetor says is just. so very 90s. like Cool Epic Teenz 90s sometimes, which is hilarious and out of date now

speaking of cheetor I love my boy. I already love him from cyberverse but this is og cheetor and I love him here too. he;s just a great kid appeal yellow character and I luv him. he has freckles that's soooo cuteee my boiiii

as for the characters in general...I like how they all have pretty solid characterizations but also undergo character development. and I like how we don't get all too much exposition about them/their backstories so we get to learn things as we go along

optimus primal is cool, and interesting when compared to other optimuses (optimii?)...he seems like a Leader™, but he’s kinda frustrated/done with this shit, especially compared to like, g1 op, who was very patient, and tfa op, who felt very young. this op feels very experienced but also doesn't always wanna be here

who else is there...rhinox! he is great, he seems like the only one w/a brain cell. he seems v levelheaded and cool, I like him a lot. he hasn't gotten much spotlight but I'm interested to see what he’ll do. I like his voice

rattrap omg...ruth hates him bc he’s annoying which, fair, but I like him bc he’s hilarious. he’s a rat from new jersey, and joisey rats are just Like That okay

dinobot...omg...I love him. he’s just dramatic and gay. and also a dinosaur. I think its cool that he has a SWORD bc everyone else has guns (kinda boring), and also he has laser eyes. he is cool and interesting and also he and optimus are dating tyvm

as for the predacons...beast wars megatron oh my goddd....I love him so much he’s SO entertaining lmao...yesssssss....he’s so Shakespearian? idek how else to describe it. he’s very eloquent and he really feels like a high-class play actor who could also rip your face off if he wanted to. he says ��yessssss’ SO much its so funny. he’s very like, over the top and kinda hammy, but in a completely different way than g1 megs, who could be described similarly but is a very different vibe

bw megatron is basically the polar opposite of tfp megatron

as for the rest of the predacons, we haven't gotten as much character stuff for them but I'm interested in them for sure

tarantulas.....I wanna see more of him, he’s just so entertaining to me idk. gay little spider man

scorponok omfg he’s such a loser in this hvbajkdsfbwkhdsf I cant get over how completely lame and unthreatening he is lmaoooo he’s such a lil bitch. I could cough on him and he’d explode probably. hilarious

terrorsaur is like the starscream of this show from what I can tell so far since he’s already tried to take over the predacons twice. ruth and I hate the weird bird dinosaur noises he makes. actually we hate when any of the characters make animal noises honestly hbvkjdnsfaksl

waspinator sure is here. he hasn't done much but he’s definitely present! and makes some weird terrible bug noises

blackarachnia just got here and then immediately left, which is hilarious. she saw everyone fighting and was like ‘actually fuck this’ and bounced, which is super valid

ok I gotta talk abt the animation again vhbahkjsdfhbkjsf its...really painful...I mean it looks great for being 1996, but since its cgi it does NOT hold up at all (compared to 2d animation, which tends to hold up better - tho low-budget stuff like g1 doesn't hold up great, but it looks bad in a much different way than bad old cgi does)

like, I mentioned it above but that fight scene in ep2...there are just so many moments that weren't supposed to be funny but were hilarious due to the animation. like when the two sides run at each other and clash, when they hit each other half of them just fly offscreen like plastic toys vbahsudfbajskdf its SO visually hilarious I rewound it to watch it again lmao

also anytime they do closeups I cringe so hard, especially on optimus, he just looks so plastic...in general the beast modes looks pretty janky, like cheetors limbs (mostly around the shoulders/hips) look weird af...I feel like rattraps beast mode looks the least wack. beast mode tarantulas also looks weird as hell but I think that's partially bc his colors are so garish lmao

I'm soooo excited to see the stuff that connects beast wars to g1, I know a few things about how its connected thanks to my reading of the g1 tfwiki pages, and I cant wait to see it all unfold

I'm really not spoiled for much, surprisingly...I might know a couple character deaths, and a few other things, but for the most part I have no clue what's going to happen which is really cool actually. I'm excited to see things!!!

#this is a few days old but ive been too lazy to post it lmao #lets see i gotta have a tag for this #lj and ruth watch beast wars #there we go. to match the g1 watch tag #transformers #beast wars

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