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takeme-totheworld · 5 months

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Aziraphale and Forgiveness, Pt. 2: The Source of Salvation

This series is now complete! Here's where you can find the other parts.

Part 1 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here.

(This post ended up being way longer than I intended, oopsie! And no fun GIFs to break it up this time. Hope you like reading lots of words!)

So why would Aziraphale, an angel who has not fallen despite bending/breaking the rules many times, have so much emotional baggage around the topic of forgiveness?

Some disclaimers:

Disclaimer 1: I've seen enough of tumblr already to know that "does Aziraphale really have religious trauma?/how much does it motivate his actions?" is the subject of Discourse around these parts. I don't want to have that argument here. Aziraphale's experience with Heaven has strong parallels to my personal religious history, and those specific parallels are what I'm here to talk about.

Disclaimer 2: I am not a bible scholar or religious historian, if I mention specific church doctrines or bible verses it's only to illustrate the experience of growing up in my church. My actual biblical/theological accuracy may be sloppy.

Disclaimer 3: I haven't read Good Omens the book. I know there are differences, but I'm not addressing them. All my thoughts are about show!Aziraphale and show!Heaven only.

Okay. Here goes.

The next point I want to make is that Aziraphale has spent his life inside a system that has weaponized the concept of forgiveness. Because Heaven, in the Good Omens universe, operates a lot like a particular flavor of toxic Christianity that I happen to be very familiar with.

In the version of Christianity I was raised with:

Your only purpose is to serve God's will. Our own needs, wants, goals, etc, were all understood to be secondary to that purpose.

The specter of eternal punishment is always present. Like any self-respecting Evangelical church, we believed that if you weren't "saved" before you died, you would go to Hell and be punished forever. How do you make sure you're saved? Well...

The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. We were a Protestant denomination, so a foundational doctrine was "sola scriptura." (We weren't fancy enough for the Latin, though, we just called ourselves "bible-based.") The basic idea is that the bible is the word of God, it's infallible, and it's the only authority we need to follow. But the bible is a cobbling-together of texts written thousands of years ago, that have been translated multiple times. It's not self-evident to a modern reader what any given passage means. It contains internal contradictions all over the place. So...the bible is the only authority we need to follow, but it's confusing and needs interpretation. Enter pastors and other church leaders to help us interpret. Only...they each have their own pre-existing biases and preferred scholarly interpretations, so even within the same church, different pastors might have different ideas about things.

So, to summarize: Follow what the bible says! Don't understand what it's telling you? Ask your pastor! Different pastors give different answers? Ugh, you're thinking about this too hard. Go pray about it or something. Just figure it out.

New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. Because doing God's will is your only purpose, remember? And the Bible (and your pastor) are the source of the only wisdom you need to fulfill the only purpose you have. So really, you don't need anything outside what the church has to offer you and it's all a distraction anyway. (...okay, if you really must, here's a watered-down, church-approved version of the thing, now shut up.)

This isn't just the church being a buzzkill. It keeps you dependent on them and ignorant of the outside world to whatever extent they monitor and censor outside influences. My church was not even that extreme about this, relatively speaking, but it was still enough to profoundly impact me and leave me confused and floundering in the larger world after I left.

No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So you spend your life trying to follow a bunch of confusing, opaque rules in the hopes that you can be "saved" and avoid eternal punishment. But here's kicker: none of it truly matters anyway, because we were also taught that everyone falls short in the end and that the only real salvation comes from God forgiving you for your sins. All you really have to do to be saved is accept his free gift of forgiveness...by...believing the right things in the right way and praying the right prayers about it. And then spending the rest of your life still trying to follow all the convoluted rules, because doing so is proof that you were sincere...in your acceptance of God's forgiveness...which you accepted by following even more instructions regarding what to believe and how to pray to ensure that you were accepting it correctly.

How do you know if you've done any of this right? You never can, truly, until you die and find out. Because God's not actually talking to anyone. So in the end, no matter what you do, you end up in the same place: at the mercy of God, who decides whether you're forgiven or not.

If you're thinking that sounds like an incredibly confusing and exhausting way to grow up, you are correct! It also has a lot of parallels in Good Omens.

If you are an angel working for Heaven in the world of Good Omens:

Your only purpose is to serve God's will. This one is obvious. If you're an angel, it's literally the only thing you were created for.

The specter of eternal punishment is always present. The eternal punishment that can happen to an angel is falling. We know it's a punishment, because we know Crowley's fall was painful and because we can see that Hell is a miserable environment for the demons. This isn't The Good Place, where demons gleefully sit around eating snacks in conference rooms and brainstorming new fun ways to torture humans. Hell in Good Omens sucks for everyone there. And we can assume falling is meant to be permanent, because if it wasn't Crowley and Aziraphale wouldn't have been so gobsmacked by the Metatron's offer to restore Crowley to angelic status. Because there's no precedent for that. Crowley himself says that being a demon has automatically rendered him unforgivable. As far as anyone in this universe knows, "fallen" is a permanent state.

So how does an angel avoid eternal punishment? How do angels make sure they don't fall? Well...

The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. Was falling a one-and-done mass exile of everyone who rebelled, right after the war? The way both Heaven and Hell talk about the fall and the "casting out" of the demons would seem to suggest so. But fear of falling is obviously ever-present among the angels, so they clearly don't know for sure one way or the other. And what would cause an angel who wasn't part of the original rebellion to fall? Aziraphale thought he would fall for lying about Job's children. The archangels threatened Aziraphale with falling for "consorting" with Crowley in S1. Gabriel expected to fall for saying no to Armageddon the Sequel in S2. But none of those falls actually happened. Clearly even the angels in the highest positions of authority don't know exactly what the rules are about falling. And who decides who falls? Gabriel says the demons were "cast out" after the war, but who did the casting out? Did God handle that directly? Was it the Metatron? Did the transformation just sort of...happen, leaving everyone unsure about the details? And what about present day? The Metatron said that Gabriel would have his memory wiped instead of falling, but does that mean the Metatron gets to decide if an angel falls, or was he covering for the fact that he doesn't know how it works either?

We, the viewers, don't know the answers to any of these questions. But it's fairly clear that the angels also don't know.

New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. The angels know little to nothing about the world or humanity and are disdainful or outright suspicious of earthly experiences. In the case of the ones who have never been sent to Earth, this makes sense, although it begs the question of why there are so many angels who have never once been sent to Earth, the planet that is supposed to be central to the Great Plan.

It's obviously, at its core, about control and keeping the angels ignorant of anything that would broaden their perspective. But listen to how the angels themselves talk about it. When Gabriel sees Aziraphale eating sushi, he asks, "Why do you consume that? You're an angel." (Subtext: You don't need to eat, so what's the purpose of indulging in this experience?) When Aziraphale suggests he try the food himself, Gabriel starts talking about sullying the temple of his body or whatever. (Subtext: It's not technically forbidden but it would be a deviation from my function as an angel so I'm suspicious of it.) And look at Aziraphale himself. He lives on Earth for many hundreds of years before he can be persuaded to even try human food, and Crowley has to work at convincing him it's okay. He seems to know it's not forbidden but he's deeply distrustful of it anyway. (I have a theory that a holdover of this mindset is why he's so set in his ways, behind the times, and still more ignorant of humans that you'd expect in the present day, but this post is already too long.) The attitude cultivated among the angels is These things are not meant for us, we don't need them, and they are a distraction from our higher purpose, so it's better if we don't.

No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So, if you're an angel, you're meant to be doing God's will, and if you fail badly enough you can be punished forever by falling. But the rules are unclear, the way falling works is unclear, in most cases you're kept ignorant of everything but the bare minimum you need to know to do your job, God isn't talking to anyone, and the (seemingly) officially appointed Voice of God is also pretty remote and mysterious most of the time.

So the only time you'll ever know for certain that you've crossed the line is once you've already crossed it, when it's too late to do anything about it. At that point, the only thing that could save you from falling would be if God just...decided to be merciful, to grant you a pardon (i.e. to forgive you) and not do the casting out thing.

Believe it or not, I had to work really hard to keep this as short as it is. If you've read this far, I salute you. Now, what's the point?

Aziraphale and the other angels are part of a system where they understand very little, they have no real power, the stakes are eternal, and their only hope of escaping endless punishment if they fail is the possibility that God will decide to show mercy and forgive them.

Yes, in the real world this is all just bullshit spread by religious leaders to scare and confuse and manipulate people into compliance and in the world of Good Omens it's actually real. But the emotional impact of feeling that confused and powerless and at the mercy of a higher authority is going to be the same. Of course Aziraphale has some Big Feelings about the subject of forgiveness. Of course it's one of his favorite things. It's not just a nice thing you do for people. It's powerful enough to rescue someone from eternal punishment when nothing else can. Powerful enough to wield as a devastating weapon by withholding it. It's a tool of control in Heaven, but it's also the source of salvation.

I was going to segue from here into what I think the specifics of Aziraphale's mindset are, but it took me so many more words than I expected just to lay out the parallels between GO Heaven and (my experience of) real-world toxic Christianity so I'm gonna stop here. Next time I'm going to dig into what I think is happening in Aziraphale's head when he forgives Crowley, and also when he does things like shelter Jimbriel (a very forgiving action, even if the words "I forgive you" don't accompany it).

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers #character analysis #aziraphale #religious indoctrination #religious trauma #forgiveness #i forgive you #i'm very normal about this #this post is so long i apologize

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primojade · 1 year

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄.

“ may the day where we discard all lies for good come soon. ”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 | romantic tropes that I think would fit them just right.

𝐂𝐖 / 𝐓𝐖 | gn!reader x albedo, wanderer, cyno and tighnari (separate); fluff, mild angst, pining, cursingcursing, kind of cheesy lmao; no proofread; let me know if I missed anything!

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 | This is a very self indulgent fic that I thought of while writing the next chapter of fallacies of love. And yes, I finished this first before that one 🤣 btw, this may or may not have part 2 but for different characters ueue. If I find the motivation to write a continuation, that is xD

masterlist |

second chances to love

Two old friends meet again wearin' older faces. And talk about the places they've been. Two old sweethearts who fell apart somewhere long ago. How are they to know, someday they'd meet again. And have a need for more than reminiscin'.

Can two people finally find their shared happiness the second time around? Is there really a way to fully mend a heart broken by the past? Are second chances really the answer to the heartache that one carried in the present times?

Your relationship with Albedo unfortunately did not work out as you want it to, and as he put it with the Traveller, once a relationship starts to drift away, it will become bothersome.

But can you really be blamed for why you fell for him? Albedo is a charming man, intelligent to a fault, a gentleman at heart, and your greatest source of inspiration. That's why when he started to show signs of interest in you unlike any other, you wholly welcomed it, cherished it in your heart even. The more time you spend with him, he shows you the other side of himself that he refuses to show to anyone else. The sliver of attention and dare say, love, that he shows you was enough to make your heart race.

But alas, love alone was not enough, and you both know it—his mere attention is not enough to call…whatever this is…as "love". For only when your heart began to feel weary of his constant busy schedule that you realised that some love was not meant to hold onto. Love that could become your sweetest poison to indulge, love that will surely drift no matter how hard you hold on. And there is that kind of love that cannot be yours no matter how besotted you are.

You were tired waiting for him to decide, to pull you close to him, but when he deemed you too close, he would shoved you away. You got tired waiting for his decision to make, and in the end, it was not you. So, you did what you knew was best for the both of you. To end everything before it becomes to the point of no return.

Still, the heart is a very fickle and turbulent thing, artificial as it may, and just as love could bring you to the highest summits of happiness, Albedo found out that it could also bring you to the lowest depths of despair. For only when you were gone to his life that he realised that the love he took for granted was the one who gave him the true meaning of this world.

Shaking to the very core of his being was the ache that no alchemy nor chemical experiments could soothe, Albedo tries his best to move on, to pretend that everything is alright, pretending that all things will go back to the way it was once, but…

Maybe this time, it'll be lovin' they'll find. Maybe now they can be more than just friends. They're back in his life, and it feels so right. Maybe this time, love won't end.

But alas, time doesn't help when moving on, it does not help him heal, it only teaches him to live with the pain. Settling himself to be your friend does not cool down his flame, and when Albedo sees you smiling at him again, laughing and waiting for him, that flame burns even brighter than ever before. And this time, if he tried his best again…maybe this time, this promised love will never end.

“Maybe…maybe this time? Are you…willing to try again?" He asked, hope blooming and his artificial heart beating so fast in his chest it might as well jump to your hands and never leave again. This time…he will make sure to do everything right, and give you everything he had, this time.

“Because the only way to love someone unconditionally is to realise that it may be lost.”

friends to lovers

Do you remember when I said I'd always be there? Ever since we were ten, baby. When we were out on the playground playing pretend. Didn't know it back then.

“[Name], let's make haste. The weather today is too perfect for our weekly surveillance, and I do not trust you to not wander in the forest and accidentally poison yourself. So, you are coming with me.”

You immediately noticed the peculiar twinkle in his bicoloured eyes, the lightest tint of pink on his cheeks, the twitch of his ears and the slight wag of his tail. All of his mannerisms are so familiar to the point that you could hear the barely concealed excitement in his usually stern tone.

Perhaps it's because you have known him since you were both still in diapers? Tighnari has always been someone passionate at what he does, talented and smart and reliable, he was always there to help you even before you asked of him, hell, sometimes, even before you knew you yourself needed some help. He was that perceptive when it comes to you.

Even during the times he was busy with his research papers in the Akademiya, Tighnari would not hesitate to discard whatever he was doing in favour of knowing what was happening to you. He was even fussier than a mother, and would scold you harder than a father would. But as much as his lectures become weary at times, you know that it all comes with good sentiment for your well being, and for his love for you.

Love…for being his very first friend, you supposed. The very first person who saw him through all his hardships, his achievements, seeing him at his lowest and highest. It was supposed to make you feel happy and proud that he still chose you even though it felt like he became someone so…unreachable now. Capable, reliable and an akademiya scholar. And nowadays, the word 'friend' has merely brought bittersweet feelings and nostalgia to your heart.

Love…is not something he would be thinking right now. He was busy enough taking care of the forest and the former sages as it is, and professing your long-term feelings for your childhood friend was not something you would call a wise decision. You were not ready to risk your decades of friendship for something as fickle as love…

Now I realize you were the only one. It's never too late to show it. Grow old together, have feelings we had before. Back when we were so innocent. I pray for all your love. Our love is so unreal. I just wanna reach and touch you, squeeze you, somebody pinch me. This is something like a movie. And I don't know how it ends. But I fell in love with my best friend.

But even though he was supposed to have his hands full, even though you knew the right and logical actions to never disrupt the fine line between friends and lovers, the heart is not something that was meant to be repressed. Ever.

But what it felt like endless nights of pining, of hopeless hoping, of days of being a lovestruck fool had ended when Tighnari, finally, had enough of your indecision and tiptoeing with him. There were no grand confession like what those Inazuman novels wrote in exaggeration, nor any special place he took you aside from the secret base that you two found as children before. But it felt just as special as he kissed you without reckless abandon, having exchanged the closeness of being friends, to the intimacy of being lovers, at last.

“...If, hypothetically speaking, would you still choose to return home when I tell you that I wanted to keep you for myself?”

(denial) enemies to lovers.

I never knew life could be like this. Never thought that I would be the one that you would kiss. I never knew love could be so rough. But now I found the real thing I can't get enough.

The first time you met the General Mahamatra, you already knew that you two wouldn't get along. It's not because of his steadfast sense of justice and persistence, or the way he apprehends scholars who broke the academic rules, no, but it's because of how he glared and scowled at you worse than the criminals he set his eyes on.

It does scare you a bit, especially when you knew to yourself that you did not do anything that would warrant his attention. Tighnari said that your research topic is safe enough, so you don't understand why…why is he so adamant at menacingly tailing you as if you didn't know he was watching you like a hawk in the library? Does he not realise that despite his short stature, ability to sneak undetected and blend in the background, he was basically standing out? And no, it's not because your eyes literally gravitate towards him and would be the first thing that you zoomed into when you knew he was nearby. It's definitely not that.

Though when you decided to bravely confront Cyno about his suspicious behaviour around you, he merely gave you a hard stare boring into your soul, scowling, before saying it's none of your business and walking off. You have never guessed the General Mahamatra is just so rude!!

Though when you tell this discovery to Tighnari, frowning and fuming, the fennec therianthrope hide a barely concealed amused grin with a shake of his head and told you that's just the way Cyno is when he was faced with something that he didn't know how to handle and deal with…namely, his emotions and the actions that come with it.

You decided to ignore the sly implications your friend was conveying to you, because there's just…no way that would ever happen! Though the reddening of your ears and the loud thundering of your heart didn't escape the Forest Watcher's observant eyes.

The sweetest surprise caught me tonight, right there in your eyes while I was kissing you. So don't say that you don't love, everything you dreamed of could be here.

"It isn't like what you think!" You exclaimed, defensive, eyes filled with horror as Tighnari smugly smirked at you. "I don't like the guy! He's irritating! And bossy! He's always picking on me! The only reason why I'm thinking of him is because surely, you're a lot nicer than him, unless we talk about your sass."

"Keep your reasons, [Name]." The fennec hybrid snickered when you glared at him. "I personally think you would not feel the need to compare someone to anyone if they weren't important. Really, my parents started like that."

You felt your whole face flushed in embarrassment. "Shut up. It doesn't mean—"

"Deny it as much as you like, but there's a very thin line between love and hate, you know. All those bickering, those exchanges of offending commentaries, calling each other names…" His grin turned wicked, before his eyes darted behind you. "Who knows? Perhaps you and Cyno are merely harbouring what we like to call…hmm…yes, adoration."

"The audacity! How could I adore that guy? There's no way!!"

Perhaps it may take time. But even though you both were in deep denial, even with the thunderous lies crossing your lips and the faux masks he wore, someday…somewhere, when the time is right and when you felt a little braver, you could finally admit that you loved him too, from the very beginning.

“When you believe me when I say I disliked you, why can't you believe me all the same when I say I love you, too?”

stuck together

…And I tried to find out if this one thing is true. That I'm nothing without you. I know better now and I've had a change of heart…

Sometimes, it does get hard taking care of him, there was no doubt about that. When you accepted the job offered to you by the Dendro Archon herself of taking care and basically being a prison warden of the "false god" that tried to take over her own country, you dreadedly knew that this was not something like a walk in the park, the one-of-a-kind job that you've never handled before.

But for the sake of not disappointing the newly-freed Archon, you tried your best to get along with your ward. He never ever told you his name, saying a lowly mortal like you doesn't deserve to know, and the few conversations you had with him were just full of insults, cruel remarks and if he's being somber enough to ignore your presence entirely, only silence remains between you two.

This same scenario had stretched over for months, and at this point, you were certain that this boy was merely testing your patience, if that annoying, arrogant and knowing smirk was anything to go by.

Though little by little, you noticed a bit of changes in his attitude towards you. It takes a shit ton amount of time till he stop with his cutting words, and instead of calling you a 'weak worm' just like what he loves calling your fellow human beings, he would settled with 'stupid mortal' for you instead. His condescending remarks would tone down a bit as well; and at times when he feels like it, he would even answer your questions and inquiries. His good moods were literally just him allowing only you to share under the warm shade of his hat during the rainy days or when the sun is too high.

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else. I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself. I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart. I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

Little by little, step by step that you barely noticed it, he would allow you to see a part of himself that he locked tightly centuries ago. During the restless nights when he was visited by nightmares he long to forget, he would wordlessly seek out your company, and you knew better than to ask him and pester him what was wrong. Deep inside, when this happened, he was grateful that you didn't pry any further.

This was a routine that you both fell comfortably with, albeit started as a weird, and exasperating one. Cutting insults slowly turned into playful bickerings, his rude name calling became a little affectionate, and sometimes, just sometimes, he would begrudgingly allow you to hold him in an embrace to keep him grounded and sane.

There was one time that he accidentally fell asleep on you in this position, while running your fingers through his surprisingly soft and silky hair, and the dumbfounded expression on his face when he woke up leaning on you was so worth the numbness of your body the whole night. He then proceeds to threaten you to never speak of this event ever again (especially to anyone or else!) his ears turning adorably red and his face flaming with embarrassment, to your amusement.

These moments are both precious and irreplaceable to both of you, and when the time comes that he could finally find it in himself to completely trust, to trust you fully, once again…maybe it would also be the time that he would trust you with his name, at long last.

“They're the person who held me at my weakest, their eyes saw me at my darkest, and after all of that, they're the one who continued to love me at my worst.”

TAGLIST (let me know if you want to be added in my future works!): @samarill , @maehemthemisfit , @chocogi , @rvoulte ...

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x reader #tighnari x reader #cyno x reader #albedo x reader #genshin albedo #genshin cyno #genshin tighnari #genshin scaramouche #wanderer x reader #gender neutral reader #jaded moments—!#twilight theatre

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silvergreenseraphim · 7 months

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Angeal and Sephiroth (And Genesis?)—Dissidia Opera Omnia—Part One

Alright, so this chapter was a lot, and it opened with Weiss quoting “Loveless” for a reason, it seems.

“When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end, the goddess descends from the sky! Wings of light and dark spread afar, she guides us to bliss…her gift everlasting!”

Weiss becomes our voice for Genesis, or his “brother,” in this chapter. When Seymour questions his quote, Weiss replies,

“It was a passage from a story our brother loved. He used to quote it for his best friend. That friend was Sephiroth, the hero and friend of the other “brother,” Angeal as well.”

This part was hard to translate into English, but Weiss essentially explains that Genesis used to quote Loveless for his close friend, Sephiroth, the hero, and Angeal was right there with them as the third friend in the trio.

Seymour is shocked and gasps, “Sephiroth and Angeal were best friends??”

Weiss replies, “It’s hard to believe of the now-evil “hero” that never reveals his heart. And yet, the exemplary First Class soldier that is a role model for everyone was his friend.”

I am on the fence about the translation of this part and may change it once my friend gets back to me, but for now, it seems like Weiss is pondering the friendship of Sephiroth and Angeal and how differently they turned out, because Seymour does make a comment like, “I suppose if you have dreams and honor, you can’t go wrong.”

But there is potentially more here that Weiss is saying about his own relationship to Sephiroth and Angeal—perhaps suggesting he is not their friend and doesn’t quite understand their past relationship himself. I will have to keep researching.

We cut to Sephiroth again, who is confused about his memory returning. He says he didn’t expect any memories to return from the Lifestream, but shakes his head and denial. He claims these memories Angeal brought back are unnecessary and that he most remove Angeal from the picture immediately. His motives are set.

Meanwhile, Zack and Angeal are talking about how Sephiroth changed. I translated this on Altocat’s blog and here is what they say:

Zack says,

“Angeal, I know you’re surprised…I can’t believe that Sephiroth changed like that…

Angeal replies,

“So, you were taken aback as well…”

Zack says,

“It was out of nowhere. We went to investigate Cloud and Tifa’s village…and I guess he discovered his origins. He killed everyone and burned down the village. He had always been the hero I strived to be…”

Zack and Angeal are both very crestfallen here, lamenting this knowledge. Angeal pulls himself together and says,

“I know…I’m disappointed too. Everything changed while I was gone, I guess.

Angeal further laments that he wasn’t there, and Zack reassures him that even though Angeal disappeared at the time and pushed everyone away, Zack would have stayed by his side and helped. Zack would have left Shinra, and he says he is sure Sephiroth felt the same way.

Angeal thanks his student but says that it was his choice and lonely path at the time—he had to carry the responsibility as a First Class soldier. Zack chastises him saying he shouldn’t think that way—after all, Zack is a First Class as well, and has enough experience. He could have helped Angeal. Angeal begins to reply, saying, “Zack…” but then they are interrupted by the others.

They say it’s time to make a decision about Sephiroth, and Cloud explains that the silver boi is planning to turn the world into an empty vessel that he may sail the cosmos with in order to find another world. An Advent Children reference, of course.

Rufus mentions that this goal is very similar to the desire of Jenova. He has to then explain what Jenova is to the other characters, as well as the Reunion theory.

This makes a lightbulb go off in Angeal’s head and he gasps, “So basically…Sephiroth is Jenova?”

He puts it together that Reunion implies that Jenova’s cells must be drawn back to their source, and since that source is currently Sephiroth, they must be the same.

However, the others simply say that Sephiroth/Jenova must be eliminated, and agree to hunt him down. Everyone nods and moves forward except Angeal, who lingers with hesitation.

In the next part, they are in the process of tracking Sephiroth, but the group notices Angeal’s troubled demeanor. They ask him if he’s okay and Kadaj says that he heard about Sephiroth being Angeal’s good friend. He says that it must be disheartening to see Sephiroth in his current state, since nothing is like it used to be.

Angeal notes Kadaj’s own tone of disappointment and Kadaj explains how Sephiroth used him as a puppet to find Jenova’s remains, which horrifies Kadaj because if Sephiroth and Jenova are the same, then his own “mother” used and betrayed him in such a way.

Angeal encourages Kadaj and gives him one of his classic pep talks, appealing to his usual “dreams and honor” code. Tifa notes that Zack often spoke the same way, prompting Angeal to recall teaching Zack all those things.

In response to Kadaj, he then says he was indeed surprised by hearing what Sephiroth did, but he says that,

“Sephiroth had his honor once too…and he has a tendency to hold onto things, so even if I am surprised, I can’t abandon him…”

The others say that they aren’t sure if Angeal’s words can reach Sephiroth, who was cruel enough to destroy Tifa and Cloud’s village. Tifa agrees as she recalls how she begged Sephiroth to explain why he did what he did, but she does say to Angeal that she believes he could have a better chance.

She kindly compliments him on how his “dreams and honor” philosophy had helped her as well. :,)

She encourages Angeal, saying that his words will surely be a beacon and that he should try to speak with Sephiroth again. Angeal hangs his head sorrowfully and agrees, saying,

“I don’t want to give up on him….so I’ll try as hard as I can…”

—

This is a good place to stop because the next chapters are where everything gets chaotic, but for now, we have some build-up for what Angeal wants to do, and for Weiss being a stand-in for Genesis later.

—

Some little notes:

The Zack and Angeal scenes were very sweet, as Zack wants to convince his old mentor to stop shouldering everything alone. Angeal’s absolute refusal to give up on Seph tugs at the heartstrings too, and I find it so sweet that Tifa actually encouraged him.

The “Sephiroth is Jenova” point is fascinating, but I believe we will soon find that Seph’s own will is blended into Jenova’s, as they are aligned, and this might be what reveals to Angeal that there may not be much hope for his old friend. :(

I am struggling with the Weiss and Seymour discussion, and this has been one of the parts that has slowed me down, because the context is hard to decipher, but I suspect that Weiss is comparing Sephiroth and Angeal to the figures in Loveless, which also becomes relevant later. I will update as soon as I can get an explanation from my Japanese friend. I am not skilled enough to decipher everything yet on my own, you see. 😅

But enjoy this for now, and I will be back with more soon! <3

#dissidia opera omnia #japanese translation #my translations #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #crisis core #sephiroth #angeal hewley #genesis rhapsodos #weiss #kadaj #zack fair #tifa lockhart #cloud strife #jenova #rufus shinra

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starsworldd · 1 year

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venus in houses pt 2. !

a reminder to go listen to my song domino 1 (iamsagsssssss) out on all platforms!!

venus in 7th:

✵ people pleasers to say the least. these people usually have a good reputation amongst others and love to make friends and connections wherever they go. because venus is also in its domicile here, these people may have a natural knack for fashion, decorating, and anything artistic <3. these people are very friendly and make people feel special and loved. you may make friends/romantic relationships with taurus/libra placements.

venus in 8th:

✵ these people usually get money/possessions from their partners. these people are very alluring and may like to wear black a lot of the time. relationships (of all kinds) may be a source of self-transformation for the individual and may have a close circle of people that they intimately bond with (unless otherwise aspected). these people may find an easier time with rebirth/upheaval. this placement definitely radiates siren energy!

venus in 9th:

✵ natives with this placement may make a lot of friends or in college. they could date partners or be friends with people of different backgrounds ethnic or just overall a very different person to the individual. friends and/or partners could help the native expand themselves in some way, help them to find purpose, or give them access to opportunities. this placement could love traveling and philosophy. could be passionate about religion as well.

venus in 10th:

✵ this placement could mean that the native is well-liked in public. may receive positive attention online, and could be associated with having a certain aesthetic. partners and friends of this placement could help them boost their status, or motivate them to achieve their goals. this person’s calling in life could involve the arts/fashion in some way or making connections with others. this person’s career can be a source of comfort and pleasure for the person.

venus in 11th:

✵ this indicates someone who may be popular. people with this placement love meeting other communities and may know many different types of people and communities. this is someone who may be passionate about social justice and activism as well. they may find that their friends could become their romantic partners as well. this could also indicate someone who is good at manifesting their desires!! definitely someone who may be popular on social media on a bigger scale too.

venus in 12th:

✵ very artistic placement, artistic imagination. these people may have found throughout their life that they’ve struggled with self-esteem and/or friends/romance. these people may find their friends/romantic partners from faraway lands. people with this placement struggle to just how loved they are. this person’s love has no bounds. you may find that you’re involved in hidden love affairs, and/or there’s some sort of sacrifice needed on your part for friends/romantic partners.

thanks for reading hope you enjoyed :>

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holybibly · 6 months

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Divine Rosa ❢ot8xreader❣

❣ Pairing: yandere!otx8 x reader

❣ Genre: Dark Romance, vampire au, angst, horror, yandere au, smut

❣ Word Count: 8.5k

❣ Summary: The moth always pours itself into the flame; what a pity that in the end it burns out. After the tragic death of her sister, MС tries to find answers to the questions she left behind. This leads her to a gated cottage town known for its luxurious rose gardens. In addition, there are also these mysterious men who manage all the affairs in the city. Too sweet, too helpful, too intrusive, and too in love.

❣ WARNING: only!18+ Themes of death, suicide, severe depression, stalking, blood, yandere behavior, panic attack. Sexual themes: hematolagnia, body worship, masturbation, bite kink, olfactophilia, voyeurism.

❣ Disclaimer: I don't support yandere behavior, stalking, or religious imposition. Themes include violence, obsession, possessiveness, and emotional or psychological manipulation. This book is intended solely for entertainment purposes.

❣Chapter 2: Wolf in sheep's clothing❣

Love is a word that deserves closer consideration, halfway between the dry hypocrisy of the dictionary and its deep sacral meaning.

What a strange feeling…

Love, both virtuous and vicious, motivates us to accomplish great feats yet also triggers the commission of heinous crimes. This mysterious and inexplicable feeling interweaves its complex structure within us, becoming the most unstable, contentious, and hazardous of all human emotions.

Love is the fundamental source of all our emotions and experiences in the world, both beautiful and disgusting.

Love has a multitude of motives, including the desire for control, submission, care, seduction, lust, protection, worship, creation and, of course, destruction.

The feeling is manifold; We can call this complex emotion by different names, including passion, hatred, obsession, alienation, objectification, mania, unattainable dreams, happiness, idolatry, spiritual unity, and possibly the most poetic of all—the second half of the soul.

Humans crave love from birth until death. This desire is inherent and everlasting. As we take our first breath, we unconsciously absorb the toxic essence of love, which settles in our lungs like delicate, silky flowers.

This need is woven into the very structure of our DNA, an animal instinct that inadvertently condemns us to eternal suffering.

Love exists as a palpable entity, often obscured by human perceptions of carefree happiness and joy. It can be likened to a lurking deep-sea creature, concealing its true visage, branching and moving under the thin surface of our skin.

She is as cunning as a murderer's grin, and she is well aware of the inevitable tragic end of every story she is about to tell. Though we may be in the belief that we have had a joyful life, in reality all our actions have been under the impulse of love. For the sake of this deceptive feeling, which unites us for a moment in the ecstatic joy and privileges of angelic ugliness.

In the end, our physical bodies will serve to feed the earthworms, to house the larvae and to nourish the roots.

Never again will they gaze into each other's eyes, never again will the turquoise flame passion between them ignite, and never again will their lips meet in a voluptuousness kiss.

Love has the power to drive us insane, to blind us, and even to lead to our demise.

And yet, in life, it is possible to miss everything but love.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

3rd POV

I want to fill my mouth with your name. I want to eat you whole. Pablo Neruda, Twenty Love Poems, and a Song of Despair

“You look pathetic, San. Don't you think so? I wonder what Seonghwa would say to that?” Yeosang lazily runs his pale spidery fingers over Yoru's silky black fur, looking with contempt at the naked brunette stretched on a pile of knocked-down sheets and pillows.

The rings on his hands burn with blood, like the eyes of the Devil.

San looked blissfully relaxed and languid, like a caressing predator. His golden skin seemed to glow from within with an otherworldly glow as the translucent sunlight greedily licked his body with its soft touch.

Still, there was something vaguely animalistic, almost primitively predatory, about him, which in no way connected him with the arrogant aloofness that was inherent in the entire vampire race.

There was hot blood running through his veins, making him even more dangerous.

He was unbridled.

“I don't care what Seonghwa says, if he says a word at all in the next few centuries. Personally, I would prefer that his magnificent body continue to rest in the coffin for a very long time.” A smug smile played on his sensual lips. “And unlike you, my dear brother, I don't hide my true desires.” A slow, almost lazy glance from San's silvery eyes swept over the slender body of Yeosang sitting in the chair, lingering for a moment on the pale pink patch of soft skin on his temple.

He imagines, not without pleasure, how, with particular cruelty, he tears it from the porcelain face of his beloved brother with his long claws, leaving behind a wet, gaping wound.

San hated it. His birthmark is indisputable proof of his connection with his beautiful Rose.

The sign that binds their souls tightly into a single whole.

He should have found her first that night.

“Look at you, Sangie. You act like a coward, hiding in dark corners and wandering in her dreams. Perhaps I could understand you if your wayward antics gave her pleasure. If our Rose woke up with your name on her lips, all wet and needy, so desperate for more.

You have to ignite her passion and her desire to be loved, make her feel special, and fill her with thirst and hunger for our touch and our love. All her thoughts should belong only to us. But how did we end Yeosangie? Tell me, huh? Our Rosa has an animal terror before you. Sarang is afraid of you. Isn't that really pathetic? You know, I can smell that sweet scent of fear on her sheets.” San buried his face in the soft fabric of the silk pillow on which Sarang usually slept and took a deep, slow breath. “So damn delicious… I want to eat her whole.”

All he wanted now was to feel her from the inside, so that her scent would stay forever in his lungs, merge with his blood, be absorbed into his skin, and become an integral part of it.

God, he is prepared to worship this woman and idolize her in every conceivable way.

She was his.

Not in some figurative or metaphorical sense, no. She was his everything. A soul that fills the shell with his dead body, blood black as night, that runs through his veins, his thoughts. Every second of his life. San couldn't tell where he ended, and she began, for you were two halves fused together into a single breathing living being.

The beginning and the end of his life

If he could know death, which was no longer possible for him, he would be happy to suffocate on that heady aroma that was spinning his head like a powerful drug. And to do so until death takes him into his arms.

How beautiful would his death be! Silk sheets, roses, and Sarang are the only true loves.

“She smells so divine, Sangie; how can you resist this temptation?” His back arched gracefully. Under the golden canvas of the skin, the jagged vertebral bones were outlined, and the flexible muscles were stretched like tight velvet ribbons. The relief of his chiseled abs pressing against the bed, his thighs rushing up, creating a perfect s-line.

He moved so smoothly. A large predatory cat, draining gross sexuality and animal dominance. A true erotic vision, fringed by the diffused glow of the lazy midday sun. The smell of her fear brought out the worst in him and made him crave to devour her heart and soul, but he couldn't do it.

“You don't know shit, San. You come here whenever you want and act like a cranky kid, pouting and expressing anger because you couldn't get her first. What a pity, because I was the one who made the connection. I can feel her; I can feel her in my veins; I don't have to act like a bitch in heat fucking her bed.” Yeosang's voice was indifferently cold, so deceptively calm, but San could clearly hear the poisonous malice in every word he said.

It looks like he hit a nerve.

“You tell me you'd never been in my place, Yeosangie?” San grinned, and on his cheeks appeared charming dimples. “You never could lie;you always spilled everything to Seonghwa like a good puppy at the first snap of his fingers. You should ask Wooyoung to teach you some lessons if you want to play games with me. We all know exactly what you do, so didn't be shy about it, honey. Do you think you can hide from Hongjoong your little dream manipulation, constant stalking, and night visits? Or how pathetic and pathetic you look, whining and wriggling like a whore when you come in with her dirty laundry, which you hide under your pillow. Oh my God, what will Seonghwa say when he finds out? You should care. Our good boy has gone to the dark side; he's going to be so disappointed that he lost his mutt. Although you know, maybe you and Wooyoung aren't as different as I originally thought. He's just as pathetic a puppy as you are, my beautiful brother, and look how that turned out for him. Perhaps you'll be the next one to end up in a coffin. I'd change my behavior if I were you. Bad boys get punished.” There was mockery and outright bullying in his voice.

That's right, they were family; their loyalty to each other was an unbreakable blood oath, and if necessary, they would be willing to die for each other. Blood is thicker than water. But the bond they shared with Sarang was different from anything that could be explained. She wasn't a missing part; to think so would be foolish. No, she was a part of themselves, a part of their dead souls, filling their bodies with a semblance of life. Something extremely more dangerous than any possible blood bond. A bond where the lines between reality and fantasy, obsession and morality, understanding and rationality were blurred. And that bond was the reason, why Wooyoung, Yunho, and Seonghwa were still resting in their luxurious coffins. Iron, velvet, and crystal—so completely different, so frighteningly the same.

San remembers with pleasure how good it felt to drive stakes into their black hearts. The spell would be broken with a kiss. Perfectly. He hopes their sleep will be eternal. This time, it should be different. He will be the first, yes. San will be first—not Seonghwa, not Hongjoong, not Wooyoung, but him.

That's right. Everything will be the way it should be from the beginning. After all, he was the one who started it all.

Once upon a time, Sarang belonged only to him.

“San…” Yeosang hissed menacingly, digging his bony fingers forcefully into the soft feline fur, causing Yoru to meow painfully and curl up into a ball in his lap. His fangs bared, scratching his plump lower lip, and black veins trickled in an intricate pattern down his thin neck.

The brunette laughed and rubbed his cheek against the soft fabric of the pillow, covering his eyes dreamily.

The silk felt wonderful against his bare skin.

“You hiss like a kitten; will you show me your sharp little teeth?”

“You'd better watch out for your tongue, or I might rip it out.” The fierce gaze literally stabbed him. It burned and penetrated to the core of his being.

“I dare you.” The bloodied lips opened, allowing the pointed tip of his tongue to traverse the tortured, swollen flesh, licking away the blood that seeped to the surface.

“Let his lips be like rose petals - red as fresh blood.” Said the Queen Witch.

San covered his eyes and completely ignored the angry brunette. He loved to play with fire. It was his nature. If it had been Hongjoon or Mingi in Yeosan's place, he might have thought twice before poking the tiger with a stick, and of course he would never intentionally offend Seonghwa; the outcome of any of those confrontations would not have been in his favor. But this was Yeosang - airy and gentle as melting snow.

The shadows of San's long eyelashes lay in a lacy pattern on his heart-wrenching cheekbones. They were one of the most striking features of his appearance - sharp and angular - and they made his face a masterpiece. A creation skilfully crafted by the hand of a master.

Yeosang's beauty was soft and angelic, the kind of beauty one might see on the faces of the winged, plump cherubs beneath the vaulted ceilings of Gothic cathedrals. He had once admired their beauty so much, especially when he tore their flesh with his claws and tore baby, fluffy wings from their pale, soft bodies.

Such an exquisite, decadent taste.

San's beauty was of a completely different kind: vicious, dark and hypnotic. Chiseled like the eternally frozen perfection of a pagan marble god, every line of his face was sharp and deadly seductive. From the feline cut of his eyes, shimmering with silvery immortality, to the capriciously curved corners of his plump lips, always inflamed and soft, so tortured and tender from incessant biting and kissing…

San's appearance was sinful.

He was the most desirable of all nightmares, the special kind that seduces the girls of the church, then fills his bathtub with their blood and organizes orgies in the bloody pieces of their torn bodies. San was formidable and intimidating, but his aura was alluring and seductive. The terrible prospect of an inevitable end and death had never looked so appealing. Maybe he was having an affair with you, or maybe he was going to kill you. There was lust, danger, and rage. There was a delicate balance between horror and desire, as if he were the embodiment of both the horror and the charm of God. He was the man everyone secretly dreams about when they caress themselves before going to bed, in a cold, lonely bed.

He was the person who made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin and who made you experience a shivering sensation of fear that would spread over all of your exposed areas.

San was undoubtedly that person. Despite the potential for his eyes to linger on your skin, his presence was desired. Exquisite wounds, reminiscent of blossoms from damaged tissue, were created by his razor-sharp canines.

Death and sex were not enough for San; he had a craving for disorder and hot sensations.

He always wanted more, whether it was blood or pleasure. He never felt satisfied.

His sole desire was Rose—just her alone.

“Do you smell that Sangie scent?” San inhaled deeply again that intoxicating divine scent, resisting the urge to savor her flavor like a dog, choking and whimpering. “Mmmm, I want her so badly. I want her whole, every fucking cell of her body. She's driving me crazy.”

Sarang emitted a scent that was distinctly sharp and overpowering in its fragrance. Reminiscent of aged wine, it was infused with the bitterness of dark chocolate, the piquancy of red pepper, and the sweetness of roses. It tastes like sin and blessing at the same time. Like a slight saltiness akin to the tears she had shed, he longed to lick them off her rounded, flushed cheeks. The fruity sweetness of illicit fruit. The taste of his own blood. The metal and thick aroma of their sexual encounter. Thick as semen and honey.

San wants to have her. Wants her to love him. He desires his love to be reciprocated as fervently and passionately as he does.

His only wish is her love.

Although it is not enough for him to possess her love, he wants her to have an intense and almost sadistic affection for him—one that goes beyond what seems possible. He yearns for her to destroy him. Because he's confident in Sarang's ability to do so. He needs more. More than she could offer him, more than she could ever agree to. He is but a slave, created to worship her.

San's aim is to belong to her; he would go to any extent, even to the point of destroying the entire world, if that is what it takes to achieve that. The value of her love is immeasurable, and his objective is absolute. She is the center of his life and the very essence of his being. She is the haunting presence in his dreams, a seductive force that both seduces and tortures. The midnight idol of his desire, the serpent that dwells around his heart, tempts him to sin.

San craves her love so much, and that need is so painful, so all-consuming, and so twisted. If need be, he would kill her with his own hands, just to be sure that no one else would ever have her.

Sharing her with his brothers was like hellfire burning him from the inside out, but it was a paltry sacrifice he could make in exchange for her love.

This time, he won't let her go. This time, not even death would dare separate them. Saran will be his. She will be theirs. In life. In death. Forever and ever.

Soon.

It will happen so soon. San can't wait for the day when his Goddess is beneath him, in the cage of his body, sprawled on the black velvet of his bed. With his fangs deep into her sweet flesh, and she will screaming his name in a haze of ecstatic pleasure.

He would make her see stars. San will take her all the way to the doors of Heaven.

“San,” “San,” “San,” “San” over and over, until her voice completely collapses to a painful wheeze, until he absorbs every tiny sound she makes, every moan, every breath, every barely perceptible note, until all she will remember is his name.

Until Sarang whispers right into his lips, “I am yours.”

Soon.

In the meantime, San can patiently wait. He will wait as he always has, obediently and without complaint. He will be such a good boy. San will wait obediently, as he has done for centuries and centuries before. Until the time is right to pursue his desires, he will take all that he has dreamt of, and God will save the souls of those who get in his way.

Right now, he thinks he could die here — in her bed, surrounded by the lingering warmth of her body and her maddening scent. He would like nothing more than to show her all his passion and devotion and all the love he could give her.

He dreams of running his lips over her skin and tasting her until his whole face is wet and glistening with her juices. He will fuck her into oblivion until night turns to day and then drown her in tenderness, worshiping her caress-weary body as an obedient slave should.

Sometimes, he thinks it's not normal—the feelings he has for her. Such love simply cannot exist. How can someone love someone so much? Is it normal to hate the very existence of nature and the heavenly bodies for being able to see her beauty, which should belong to him alone?

However, these were only momentary musings until he regained his composure, dispelling any doubts. How could he even question his love? It felt so perfect and effortless, like breathing. How could such thoughts even enter his mind?

Her love was a life worth living.

It was destined since the dawn of time, when spirits roamed the earth, the sun was young, and the old gods had not yet vanished. She belonged to them, and they belonged to her. They sensed her first breath on their lips. He felt.

Their love bloomed again—a blood rose.

Soon…

These fantasies drove him mad; every cell ignited with the desire to possess, awakening his animal predatory nature. The ugly nature of his genuinely depraved being.

He pictured Sarang biting into his neck and taking possession of him. She aimed at him as if he were nothing more than a thing, a toy for her amusement.

“Say my name, Sarang. Express your fondness for me and acknowledge that I am your only one. I want you to own me and claim me as yours. Say my name until it burns your lips. Again and again. Drink my blood, bite me to death; I'm nothing more than your slave, just a pathetic means of pleasure. Hit me. Hurt me, I beg you. I need it so badly. Please, my love, I am begging you to love me. Love… Love me so much until it kills me. That is what I wish for.”

His hips moved smoothly, grinding his arousal against the rumpled bedclothes. San moaned, breathlessly gasping as he found the perfect angle to satisfy his intense desire for release. He needs to cum; he couldn't leave here without cumming. He buried his face in the pillow, panting and whimpering like a wild animal possessed. His primal instincts demanded he leave his mark on her, to possess her and fuck her into oblivion until her belly bloated from the amount of cum pouring into her and her head felt light and empty.

His claws lengthened, digging into the mattress, leaving sickening jagged stripes as his hips moved uncontrollably, continuing to rub his throbbing wet cock against the silken folds of the crumpled sheets.

The sounds he made were almost heavenly.

Soft, extended moans that turned into pitiful sobs. He sounded like an angel in the throes of passion.

In his fantasies, San imagined drinking from her as long scarlet streams of her sweet blood ran down their naked bodies, staining everything red. How deeply he entered her body, seeing the imprint of his cock on her flat stomach as her neat, pointed nails plowed into his back into gaping lacerations.

His teeth clenched as he let out a hoarse moan, the sound vibrating deep in his throat. San needed to cum; he was on the verge of madness. The need for pleasure was more obvious than anything around him at the moment. The transparent essence of his arousal dripped down onto the sheets, sticking to his golden, wet skin with every movement of his muscled thighs.

His thoughts returned to the dark, vicious images of hot animal sex. A fine shiver ran down his entire body.

He will run his tongue along every contour of the intricate bloody lines, licking up every last drop. First, the longest neck-open and vulnerable to his insatiable mouth, then lower down the hollow between the heavy breasts, rising in time with her labored breathing. His lips would close around the hard pink nipples, scraping them with his teeth, making her squeal and gasp. Lower down her flat belly, where the flowers of his hungry kisses and hard touches bloomed. Until his tongue is between the moist puffy folds of her pussy, he runs the pointed tip along the soft silken flesh, plunging deeper into the tight hole where blood mingles with her natural sweetness. He wants to feel the velvety, wet walls of her vagina clench and quiver around his tongue.

“Sarang!” His voice was hoarse, and his hands gripped the sheets beneath him with such force that his knuckles turned white, almost tearing the skin.

He looked pornographic.

San was so lost in his fantasies that he had completely forgotten about Yeosang, who was still in this room, until he was reminded of it with a sharp, painful tug of his hair. Long, thin fingers gripped the dark, damp strands with force and tilted his head back rigidly, revealing a view of a strong neck with veins swollen from exertion and beads of sweat running down her

“Here we go, such a pathetic, stupid bitch.” Yeosang said it with mockery in his voice. His lips curled into a wicked smirk, and San could feel it on his skin as the brunet whispered in his ear. “Look at you, you're nothing more than a slut; where's your pride, San, eh? The great general of the dark army, the heartless ice prince, the ruthless Ripper, is nothing more than a drooling whore shamefully rubbing his cock against the sheets.” Yeosang's fingernails dug painfully into his scalp, tugging harder on the long silk strands the color of night.

“Yes, yes, keep calling me that.” His request sounded like a plea. All Yeosang's words made him move faster, almost in desperation.

The rhythm of his hips became erratic and uncontrollable. He was close. His teeth clenched as he let out a hoarse moan, the sound vibrating deep in his throat.

“Are you imagine fucking her, Sannie, hmm? Or what would it taste like? I bet the taste will be heavenly; she's sweeter than ever in this life. Oh no, I know exactly what you're thinking.” A mocking chuckle escaped his ruby-red lips. “You want her to bite you.” Those wicked lips pressed against the frantically beating pulse point. “Right here.” Yeosang's teeth sank with force into the flushed skin of San's neck—that particular sensitive spot on his neck beneath a scattering of pale freckles.

San's eyes rolled back in pleasure, his mouth opened in a silent moan, and his hips shook with the intensity of his orgasm. Thick, hot cum splattered onto the sheets, staining them with the pale, milky liquid.

The brunet unclenched his teeth, releasing the tender skin. The bite mark was wine-red, with swollen incisor impressions and drops of black blood in the hollows. A poisonous flower, tempting to know sin.

“Sannie, look at the mess you'd made. Truly a royal fuck. I always thought it was more Mingi's style.” Finally, thin but surprisingly strong fingers let go of the silken strands, allowing San to rest his face tiredly against the pillow. His whole body relaxes after the overwhelming orgasm. The entire pillow is soaked with drool and sweat, and semen cools beneath his stomach, sticking uncomfortably to his skin.

He opens one eye and looks up at the vampire leaning over him with a lecherous smile.

“Would you like to join me, my beautiful brother? We still have a few hours before she gets home.” The brunet rolls onto his back to make room for Yeosang in the bed. His fingers run along the sculpted curves of his abs, scooping up the viscous, pearly liquid and sliding it into his mouth. “Mmm…” A long tongue swirled around his fingers, licking up every drop with lazy, slow pleasure.

“You're disgusting, San.” Yeosang puckered his lips in disgust, looking around at the brunette sprawled on the bed. He turned sharply on his heels and strode away from the room; to he pick up Yoru on his way, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, in his arms. “Get up; we have to go. Hongjoon is calling us.”

“You're not leaving the cat?”

The brunette turned around over his shoulder, meeting his gaze with San's silver eyes.

“June misses his darling; for our little girl, it's time to come home.”

San propped himself up on his elbows, looking at the departing Yeosang. His lips stretched in a satisfied smile full of devilish anticipation.

The time had finally come.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

1st POV

"Feed me to the wolves, let them take my flesh."

“Well, I'm glad to finally meet you in a more relaxed setting, Miss Ahn. Please take a seat.” With an elegant gesture, the man motioned me to a deep leather chair in front of his desk. On the glass tabletop was a silver plaque engraved with the name “Mr. Lee Taeho”.

“Miss An” - how sad and tragic that sounds. I never wanted to try out this role. I didn't like being addressed like that, because it was always Mina, and before her, it was my grandmother, and probably my mother was addressed like that when she was alive.

But here I am, the new Miss Ahn, and unlike my predecessors, I have not sought to carry the weight of this unbearable crown. I don't need the congratulatory ribbons and the wet glitter sequins smeared across my face.

Although there was nothing in the address itself that I could call unpleasant, the tone with which it was always delivered foreshadowed the inevitable tragic ending of its own and tasted of earth and chrysanthemums.

You're bound to end up as one of them; it's not all by chance, Sarang. Don't kid yourself.

I saw the future as a series of predetermined events, especially after Mina's death. She had the arrogance to dispose of my life as she saw fit, putting chains of obligations and secrets around my neck. I buried her in the ground, and my days became nothing more than a list of dull plans, paltry hopes, and bitter regrets, as murky as the water in the city canals through which a coffin floats. Still, I couldn't help but wonder who would be the next Miss An when I died, or would I be the one to hold that title forever?

There are never any former queens. There are only dead ones.

I could feel the blood flowing faster through my veins.

For a few moments, there was silence around us, thick and enveloping like fog. If I'd felt any hint of confidence as I walked through the tall glass doors of Silver & Black LTD, now, alone with this man, I was floundering in my social insecurity like a butterfly caught in a spider's web. I resisted the urge to squirm under the gaze of his night-dark eyes. Beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

Lee Taeho wasn't just one of Silver & Black's most successful lawyers; he was also a devilishly handsome man.

He was built like a god. Broad shoulders, narrow hips, and a tight-fitting white shirt that accentuated his muscular biceps, bulging pecs, and flat stomach. The image of strength and power was completed by the perfectly tailored, tight-fitting trousers. The rolled-up sleeves revealed several tattoos on his wiry forearms—something in Latin that I couldn't make out.

His face was also striking, with angular, pointed features that would have looked strange and out of place on anyone else, but the luscious, perfectly sculpted lips made them something unimaginable and outrageously beautiful.

I felt uncomfortable under the weight of his scrutinizing gaze. He was looking at me like I was something special, but not in a sexual or romantic way; rather, it was the look of an explorer who had found an unexpected treasure in a pile of rubbish.

“I honestly didn't expect you to have any free time in the next few months, so thank you for seeing me at such short notice.”

To be honest, I knew absolutely nothing about Silver & Black until Soomin told me about them on the way here. Soo turned out to be absolutely right when she told me about them. This place was the epitome of the arrogant domination of money and power—cold, glassy, and sterile, like a morgue where the remains of all “happy stories” are taken.

I could never belong to such a place, but I could easily imagine Mina here, with her developing blood curls and the unemotional grandeur of royalty. People like my sister were part of that 'proper' society so suited to closed Sunday clubs and icy glass offices. Like all of her kind, Mina was a great predator, used to labeling people and giving them her own names and definitions. She knew exactly how to make those around her feel uncomfortable with just one look.

Some people have everything, others nothing. It's as cruel and true as the inequality of love.

I still didn't understand how Mina had so much money to afford the services of this company, but judging by how polite and “sweetly” the receptionist greeted me at the entrance, she was very much appreciated here.

Blood of my blood.

“You have nothing to thank me for, Saran.” He said that, and I looked back at him in surprise. It wasn't so much the fact that he allowed himself a familiarity that surprised me, but the way he said my name—as if it had always belonged to his lips. It was as if he'd said it over and over again until the intonation was perfect.

My heart beats fast in my chest, but I couldn't tell if it was fear or something else entirely.

“We will always make time for you. If you'll allow me to be frank, I've left a few free hours each day, just in case you decide to call me. Honestly, I expected it to take a little less time on your part, but who am I to judge you, Sarang?”

“But why?” I tried to gather information and put it together in a way that wasn't absurd. I didn't want to assume anything.

“Why? Do I have to explain? Maybe I just wanted to see you; you're a beautiful girl, and I'm a great admirer of the beautiful. He smiled, seemingly satisfied with the embarrassment that must have been written on my face. I could feel the heat spilling over my cheeks, turning them a painfully inflamed shade of red.

I had never been a girl with a 'cute' blush. I was more like a girl burned by the gold of the sun, pressing her cheek directly against the boiling, bubbling surface of the sun.

Taeho lightly drummed his perfectly filed nails on the glass tabletop, completely ignoring my obvious embarrassment at the situation, and continued:

“But let's say that this is due to the fact that your dear sister was a valued client of ours, whom everyone here at Silver & Black LTD sincerely appreciated. Miss Ahn was our special customer. All the staff will agree with me; your sister is impossible not to love.”

“A special client?” I interjected. Somehow, that didn't surprise me at all. Of course, it was only natural that Mina was always at the center of the universe. People followed the sound of her voice like rats behind the magical melody of the flute.

“Are you surprised, Sarang? Your sister has helped our firm in many ways, bringing us new clients and introducing us to the 'right' people, making our firm one of the best in Korea. She's contributed a lot to the development of Silver & Black. There was a strange note in his voice, as if between the cracks there was something terrible—a terrible secret that could change my whole life.

For some reason, I don't feel comfortable at all right now.

“I'm pleased… hmm, or rather, I'm pleased to know that my sister has done so much for you. Lately, she and I haven't really been close, and we've barely chatted. So I didn't know where she went or what kind of people she hung out with.” My words come out a little sour, and I press my lips together.

The lovely Mina, as always, is proving to be the best. I wonder if the day will come when she damn pedestal will be nothing but a pile of ruins at my feet. I thought all this time you'd been pining for roses, but instead you've been doing the right thing. What else don't I know about you, Ahn Min?

What don't I want to know about you?

''Yes, yes, she helped us a lot. Now let's get on with signing the documents, do you mind? I don't want to keep you any longer than necessary.” His words were very dry, businesslike, and in no way in keeping with the previous flirtation. Something flashed in his eyes—concern, doubt, maybe even fear—there was a tense tremor in his hands, and his whole aura changed, as if something huge and evil had turned its attention to him.

“Sure, let's get started.”

The entire process took no more than 30 minutes. I signed document after document, with occasional detached comments from Mr. Lee, which were completely at odds with his previous behavior. There was nothing special about the documents, except for one thing: Rose Hill. As best, I could make out from the extensive stack of papers, it was a small house in the style of Victorian England. It was in the ownership of a gated cottage community, the grounds of which were owned by a private company. It was all too complex and confusing to realize the meaning in the space of 30 minutes. I'll deal with it later, most likely in the company of Soomin and a couple of bottles of wine.

“Can I sell the house I inherited, Rose Hill?” I asked without lifting my head from the papers; a few more strokes and I could be out of here. The atmosphere in the office was terribly tense; my skin itched unpleasantly and tingled in places as if it no longer belonged to me.

“To my regret, I cannot help you in this matter. In all matters concerning Rose Hill, you must deal directly with the owners of the land; I will email you their contacts.” The smile he gave me was forced, and I couldn't help but wonder what had made such a difference in his change of mood.

“Okay, thank you.” I signed the last form and handed the pile of paperwork to Mr. Lee. “I'm done; hopefully everything is settled now. Can I get a copy of the documents, preferably today?”

Taeho cursorily flicked through the pages to make sure each one was signed.

“Our administrator, Sunwoo, will give you all the documents. There is one more thing you need to get before you leave. When you leave here, go further down the corridor to the vault, and Bora will show you a locker in the storage room that belongs to your sister. Now, if you'll excuse me, my next customer is waiting, and I don't want to keep him waiting.”

“Yes, yes, of course. Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Lee.” I clumsily rose from my chair, trying to get out of this stuffy room as quickly as possible. The air felt pressurized, and I felt like I was going to start suffocating a little more. I needed to get out of here right now.

“It was nice to meet you, too, Miss Ahn. Please take care of yourself.” The look he gave me was sad—so unusually sad, like the look of a man living his last day on earth. It was as if the end had come for him before he could realize it.

His words, on the contrary, were a warning. “Take care of yourself.” What kind of lawyer wishes that to a client as a farewell? Was I in danger? Perhaps you were. Although that's true, it's worth crossing out the word “perhaps”, yes, I was in danger. Could he have known about it? Did Taeho know about the roses or the people who sent those awful flowers? Was there something he hadn't told me? A thousand questions were in my head as I walked out of his office.

Mechanically, I reach for the strands of pearls at my neck and twist them around my fingers, nervousness bubbling in my stomach. This isn't some worldwide conspiracy, Sarang. Wake up.

I think I'm becoming paranoid.

The door closes softly behind me. I'm alone in a sterile, shiny corridor.

In the distance, I hear a cheerful laugh—Soomin. She was definitely laughing. Soo is having a great time waiting for me to wrap things up. Even though she was denied my escort to Mr. Lee's office, she wasn't upset at all because the nice receptionist, Sunwoo, I think his name was, was determined not to let her get bored alone.

I could have fallen in love with him. He was charming and cute, with a sweet, heart-shaped smile that would make your teeth rot. He was wearing a perfectly tailored suit, Armani Prive, in a thinly stitched pinstripe. I'd say he looked like a puppy. With those big, wet, shiny eyes and the way he struck the right pose when you told him to.

Yes, that was the kind of guy I fell in love with—the kind with a good reputation and a well-paid job—the kind who makes love, not fucks. They're the ones who make sure he looks you in the eye and whispers to you about how good you're feeling when he's caressing your body.

Good boys. Obedient boys. Sugar-coated like candy.

If I fell in love with a guy like that, Soomin would break him up like a Christmas candy bar and take a bite right down the middle of him. She liked that type—kind, gentle, and submissive. There had never been a lack of male attention in her life, but for some reason, Soo had always surrounded herself with this type of boy, like colorful toys. She wasn't afraid to break them because she could always move on to the next one. They never crossed her, nodding in obedience and jumping as high as she asked. Men were no more precious to Soo than broken crystal balls, shimmering but useless.

The corridor in front of me was long and empty, with a single door at the end. The sound of heels hitting marble tiles echoed in my head, and the checkerboard pattern on the marble was jarring. For a moment, I thought the corridor was narrowing like a rabbit hole, endless and dark. I was short of air, unable to breathe, and the oxygen in my lungs was as thick and viscous as swamp sludge. I clawed at my neck with my fingernails, trying to pull off the pearl collar, but I felt myself tightening it stronger. My eyes stung from tears and mascara, and ink streaks ran down my cheeks, and somehow they felt colder than they should have.

My fingernails dug into the skin on my collarbones, scratching at it with cruelty and anger.

I needed to get away from myself. To be separate from my body and the way I felt. The nightmare awakened inside me, licking my veins, working its way inside, and gnawing into my soul. My consciousness was beyond my mind.

I hear the sound of tearing threads and thousands of pearls falling at my feet, and I fall with them. I want to go back to before it all began. Before the pain, Before the roses.

Fluorescent lights flash like the tails of nameless comets on the pearly roundness of the beads. I see stars exploding behind my eyes, painting the underside of my eyelids with intricate strokes—the constellation Gemini. Nergal. I want to remember the days when roses were just roses, not home to the ghosts of my soul.

I hear a sound—it's pearls crunching under sharp heels. Under steel heels, like the teeth of the Witch Queen.

“Oh my God, Saran!” Someone shouts. Soomin isn't laughing anymore.

Her hands are so cold against my clammy skin. She presses my face against her chest, and the feverish beating of her heart brings me back to reality. She is my white rabbit.

Voices, voices—there are so many of them. It's a cacophony of sounds and unpleasant cracking noises. The pearls keep breaking, and I keep crying.

Someone brings me a glass of unpleasantly cold water; it runs down my throat like a liquid flame.

I finally took a breath.

“Take me home.” That's all I can say right now. I want to go home, away from the world, away from the sun, and away from the memories.

“She's having a panic attack; she needs air.”

“No! I need to go home.”

“It's OK, sweetheart. I've got you,” Soo purrs, kissing the top of my head like a little baby. She pulls me off the floor with effort, lifting me to my feet.

I look down at the checkered pattern of the marble slabs and at the scattered pearls. In some places, the white slabs are smeared with red, like lipstick smeared by a kiss. This is blood. My blood.

My legs shake like a newborn fawn as Soomin leads me away from this place. Every step was painful, almost more painful than Soo's tight grip on my forearm. “It's okay, Sarang, we're going home.”

It's okay, Sarang.

It's okay.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

“Are you sure you're feeling better?”

“Yeah, I'm fine now.” I squeezed out the shadow of a smile. Apparently it was useless; the look in her eyes remained the same: worried, with fear lurking around the edges. Fear for me.

“How long have you been having these attacks?”

“This is the first time. I guess… I don't know. Let's just say it's a consequence of trauma. I don't want to talk about it.”

“I'm so sorry.” Soo crouched on the edge of the bed, taking my hand gently. I was made of glass; she didn't want to break me or do the opposite by hurting herself on me. “It's so horrible that you have to go through all this, baby.”

“Yes, it is.” What else could I say? I could not have said a word, and everything would have been understood. The wounds under the bandage itched terribly. Long red marks stretched along my collarbones and neck. Mascara was still smeared across my face, as was the soft pink lip gloss. I looked like a mess. I was a mess.

My throat was all dry and thirsty, and my eyes were so swollen I couldn't even open them fully.

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight, love? We can watch a film or something; maybe one of those stupid comedy shows Mina hated. I'll make dinner and open the wine.”

“No need; I'll be fine. Soomin, go home; you should be resting too, not babysitting me. I'm fine, really. I'm feeling better, and I'll definitely get through the night. I'll probably go straight to sleep as soon as you leave.” Much as I loved Soo, I didn't feel like seeing anyone right now.

“If you say so, Please call me in the morning as soon as you wake up, okay?”

“Of course. Be safe, Soo. Love you.” I thought I covered my eyes for only a second before I heard the click of the front door. The mark of her kiss burned on my cheek.

I don't know how many hours I sat like that—completely still, not taking my eyes off the dark landscape outside the window, which was getting brighter now that a little moonlight was seeping through the thick clouds.

I didn't want to get out of bed, drowning in pillows and blankets like a pipe dream. I felt good in my bed. I couldn't understand what exactly had changed, but I could feel the change. Even in the morning, the bed had been cold and lonely, but now the silk under my fingers was warmer and softer to the touch. Even the smell of the blankets seemed to be different, like purple lilies and musk, a scent that remotely reminded me of something very familiar but long forgotten. Could it have been Soo's perfume? No, more like the scent that Yoru always brought with her.

By the way, where did she go? She was here when I left this morning, but knowing her talent for disappearing and reappearing at will, I didn't hold out much hope of seeing her today. It would be nice to have her around now, though.

I rolled onto my side, resting my cheek against the pillow. I didn't want to sleep, but I didn't want to get out of bed either. My gaze settled on the small box that lay on the chair across from the bed. A casket from a storage locker.

After my panic attack, Soomin took it away, since I was apparently incapable of doing so. Next to it was a neat stack of papers with black paint poisonously embedded in them, listing all the possessions I now owned, including Rose Hill, but the most valuable and important thing was kept in this little silver coffin.

The metal walls of the casket shimmered like liquid silver when moonlight hit them. I was mesmerized by this otherworldly glow. Number 0711 - Miss Ahn Mina. Sometimes a lifetime can be folded like origami and placed on a velvet cushion like a collector's item.

I struggled with myself for a few more minutes before I threw back the blankets and got out of bed. My curiosity outweighed my fear. At that moment, I had to remind myself that “curiosity killed the cat,” and if I had been any smarter, I would have thrown the box to hell and never thought of it again.

The box opened silently, and I felt a chill, as if someone had dipped my heart in ice water. There weren't many things in the box—something old, something new, and something blue—all like a wedding tradition. It wasn't like Mina. She had always despised the idea of marriage; the very thought of anyone daring to claim her freedom made her sick.

It wasn't for her, and it wasn't for me.

Weddings are gorgeous, creamy bouquets of fragrant flowers that breathe in the dawn. At the end of a long journey down a narrow church aisle, a handsome prince awaits with the promise of eternal love. As if. Girls, guard your hearts, for they will eat them for breakfast. Piece by piece, like a birthday cake, until there's nothing left to keep you alive.

Then there'll be another, just as naive. And then another, and so on, endlessly. That's all love is. A streak of devil's rubies and eaten hearts.

There was no heart and no love in that box. Just one little piece of paper with torn edges and a handful of precious trinkets. Just one small puzzle piece that had fallen out of a huge and complex picture. I could recognize Mina's handwriting from a million others, but the words written on that little piece of paper were not hers. In each letter lurked something that had never belonged to Mina; her hand had scrawled those lines, but her lips had never uttered those words.

“My only love. My divine Rose, when I leave this world, I will leave you everything you could ever want. When you read this, I will be gone. Everything has been arranged; everything is ready for you. The whole world will belong to you, my love. I took care of it. On the back of this page, I have left the number of my good friend. Please give him a call; he will help you with all the things you need. He'll be waiting for you. He is the only one you can trust, Sarang. Your beloved Mina P.S. Don't forget, love is eternal.”

I flipped the sheet to the other side. The handwriting was the same but so different; the letters were sharp and crumpled, as if they were written in a hurry.

Hongjoong. I had heard that name before. I knew the taste of it on my tongue.

My fingers hurriedly dialed the number; I didn't look at the time, and, to be honest, I didn't care. I wanted to make sure that he was real and that this wasn't another one of her crazy fantasies that would lead me down a blind alley. I needed to know that Hongjoong wasn't fiction but blood and flesh, intermittent breathing, and an unevenly beating pulse.

At the other end of the phone, the long beeps were interrupted, there was a static pause for a second, and then I heard the sleepy and so welcome sound:

“Hello.”

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thegrapeandthefig · 3 months

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Calendar manipulation in Ancient Greece

This really isn’t a topic I’m thrilled to tackle, but since the Theogamia there has been so much talk about calendar discrepancies that it looks like the right time to bring this up. Don’t expect this to be eloquent, I’m writing this while absolutely knackered.

I’m not going to focus too much on the problem of modern calendar reconstructions, what I’ll be going into here is the historical evidence we have about how awfully inconsistent the ancient Athenian calendar could be, either by nature or by human intervention over time.

The problem of the new moon

In theory, the Athenian calendar and other Greek calendars are lunar and each month begins on the new moon. Sacha Stern, in Calendars in Antiquity, tells us that the writer Geminus (1st c. BCE), states that the Greek month began when the new moon crescent was first sighted but Geminus also states that the new moon can sometimes be sighted on the 1st of the month, but sometimes not until the 3rd. This statement is interesting, because it implies that, should the moon not be visible (clouds), there was a mathematical basis to the calculation of the months that still made the month begin regardless of what the sky looked like.

There comes also the problem of conjunction (aka when the moon in orbit passes between the sun and the earth, making the moon invisible). The traditional ancient assumption is that the day of conjunction is the last day of the month. However, the interval between the day of conjunction and of the new moon is usually around two days; so if the month began when the new moon was first sighted, conjunction should have been typically on the penultimate day of the previous month.

Those difficulties, along the fact that other authors, such as Aratus give conflicting information leads Stern to say this:

Modern scholars have generally accepted Geminus’ statements that the Greek month began at first visibility of the new moon. However, it is clear on Geminus’ own evidence, as well as on the evidence of the other passages just mentioned, that this rule was not strictly followed, and indeed, quite possibly, that it did not constitute a rule. Moreover, we do not know of any procedure that may have been used, and indeed that would have been necessary, for such a rule to be enforced. There is no evidence, for example, in the whole of Graeco-Roman literature of anyone sighting the new moon.

And this leads us to the rather uncomfortable idea that, in practice, a lot of the calendars simply might not have been as well aligned with astronomical moon phases in the way we conceptualize it today.

Francis M. Dunn, in an article titled Tampering with the Calendar, lists passages from ancient Greek sources that seem to corroborate this idea:

Thucydides 2.28 in a passing mention of a solar eclipse […] distinguishes the astronomical "new moon" or conjunction, at which eclipses must occur, from the conventional "new moon" or noumenia, which followed the first visible crescent. The historian, in other words, is aware that there is an astronomical "new moon" or conjunction which is different from the first day of the civic month.

Man-made adjustments

Because calendars impacted the religious, civic and political lives of each city-states, it wasn’t uncommon for city-states to make adjustments to them.

The type of modification we’re most used to is the addition of intercalary days or month that aim to realign the calendar with astronomical reality. But we have evidence that this isn’t the only motivation.

For example:

In the 430's (SEG XXXVI 12), 420's (SEG XL 12) or 410's (SEG XLII 17), in connection with offerings at Eleusis, the demos instructed the archon to add a second Hekatombaion.

In 228/7 a second Hekatombaion was added to the civic calendar.

Between 294 and 288, in connection with a tour by artists of Dionysus during Lenaion, four cities in Euboea made provision for the archons to add months as necessary.

At the end of the fourth century, probably in 307/6, two days were apparently added near the end of Gamelion.

In 271/0 four days were added in the first decade of Elaphebolion.

As we can see, additions and subtractions of one or several days, if not sometimes months, could happen. They were often added either at the beginning of a month or at the end of a month, which makes it easier to imagine that it could be done to readjust the calendar to the moon, but in the cases where it was linked to a festival, it was clearly done to schedule said festival:

”Of the three cases of intercalary months, two are explicitly related to religious festivals (the dedication of first fruits at Eleusis, IG I3 78; and dramatic festivals in Euboea, IG xii.9 207”

“The evidence therefore supports an assumption that most adjustments were part of the normal operation of the civic calendar - ensuring that the calendar was roughly in phase with sun and moon, and ensuring that festivals would take place at a necessary or convenient time.”

An insoluble debate

The problem of ancient Greek calendars as a whole has been a point of contention among scholars for so long, for the simple reason that it makes dating anything difficult. The most notable example is the one around the differences between the Athenian calendar and the Spartan one when it comes to dating something like the battle of Marathon. Plutarch tells us it was on the 6th of Boedromion, but Herodotus tells us it was during the full moon (and therefore later, if the calendars matched the lunar cycle). This is where the issue of inter-city calendar alignment emerges, since each city-state functioned in their own independent ways, they could resort to calendar adjustments at any time they wanted and further misaligning themselves with one another.

But scholars don’t necessarily agree! Some, like Pritchett believed that the calendars were irregular no matter what, while others like Meritt believed they were regular, and that the evidence of irregularity was due to exceptional circumstances. The problem at this point is that it is much harder to prove regularity than the opposite.

So where does it leave us?

The reconstructed calendars we use today as modern worshippers are all based on some form of regularity, but we need to remember that none of them are a direct continuation of the ancient calendars. For the most part, they are based on the metonic cycle and on the other luni-solar calendars in use today by various faiths and cultures around the world. In fact, a lot of the reconstructions of Athenian calendars are using the same mathematical model as the Hebrew calendar. And that, in a nutshell, explains why different reconstruction have different results when it comes to placing specific days and festivals. So it really comes down to personal choice. Choosing a calendar that is more “popular” might be more appealing to you for particular reasons, while others might choose their calendar based on entirely different criteria. I guess the point I’m trying to get to is that, there won’t be a “standard” calendar without some kind of wide decision to stick to a precise model, and as long as there is no religious authority, the calendars will remain ever so slightly different, because they never really were regular in the way that we understand our solar Gregorian calendar to be.

#ancient greek calendars #this is probably full of typos and i'm sorry

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yourpsicodelicbitch · 1 year

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Astro observations pt 3? bc I haven’t finished what I was supposed to post 🧍

This picture is from Pinterest.

I knew someone with the same ascendant and sun as me but I didn’t noticed bc of the moon energy. How important, necessary and notorious is the difference in the big three depending on the element of the moon sign. My big 3 is libra sun, pisces moon and aquarius rising. The energy I give off is more dramatic, sensitive and playful. On the other hand, her moon is in virgo, so the energy she give off is completely opposite than mine: she’s serious, distant and helpful. But we do share the same 2 placements of the big 3.

I didn’t have interest in history but when I had the opportunity of having a class with a new teacher, I liked it. The passion and dedication of the topic they spoke about, and the most important thing is the objectivity; he spoke facts, with sources, without any intention of his students to memorize the information but understand it, observing and analyzing it. Teaching without any misrepresented information. How he -the teacher- spoke about certain topics that in the past, I preferred to pass out than be present in the same class. Being able to be emotional and logic. Would I be embarrassed if I said I loved it? -the manner of speaking and sharing ideas, how he teach-. What placements he has? moon 3H and mercury 1H. Moon in the 3rd house makes the individual learn how to communicate during their whole life, specifically about topics that turns on their sensitive nature. They are balanced: too emotional and logical when it comes to speak up, with time they learn how to be. They’re open minded, they want to listen to different point of views, to understand their own and to extract what benefits them and etc. They observe. Mercury in the 1st house makes them a COMMUNICATOR. That’s why he has the ability of changing my mind, my opinion or point of view, be interested in a topic minutes before I wasn’t. Sophisticated. They have this air that makes you believe them, that you know they’re not lying to you, that they’re transparent and have the sources and motives to back up their ideas. They’re intelligent. They want to learn and this curiosity push them to new fields. They could use their attachment to their origins to transmit ideas, from an specific point of view, that’s unique. Is wholesome, that I had the opportunity to be their student, for have been able to witness this placements 🧍

People with Neptune 7H is so pure. When I first knew this friend, my first impression of her was that she was shy and now I think that we must protect her bc she’s a baby 😭 They often give more than what they receive. They idealize or have a wrong idea of people in their relationships. They tend to ignore or avoid what’s happening in that topic. They think too much about the idea of who surrounds them: think better of them, that the relationship is deeper than it actually is. That’s why they struggle in the social/relationships, specifically in the romantic ones. I’ve seen this people have a good relationships with their friends¿? They could expect too much of their partner, later, realizing they’re not who they thought. Also, they could be shy or reserved because they’re scared of judgement, by being capable of living dreaming.

Moon square Jupiter aspect people always wants “peace” in their relationships, even if its imposible -not everything is going to be pink-. Their moods change A LOT, they could take everything personal. They could feel threatened and bc of this are alert the whole time. They’re inestable, they start the day with a shiny face and then they remember something that happened in the past: their day is ruined -by themselves-. This people get carried by what others think and say about them, they struggle on believing in themselves, with their self-wroth. The environment where they grew up made them doubt. They may support themselves in a religion or spiritual stuff, they could feel peaceful knowing that something has their back, that they don’t suffer alone or is “for some reason”. They could also attached themselves to a person in specific. They want to know more and more -about religion/spirituality- but they’re scared of not finding the answers they want -but the ones they need. They suffer, trying to understand the meaning or accepting the reality. That they can’t hold anymore to a false reality -that’s their copy mechanism: to create a reality that’s total opposite of the one they grew up, to finally fulfill the necessities of their inner child-.

Scorpio mercury: I love my placement. It’s so fucking 🤯 My sarcastic ass bitch wouldn’t tell otherwise. They observe, when they’re in a new situation -this is a specific case bc they always do-, they analyze the body language, the conduct, the gestures, how they express, how many information they give and what type, their confidence, how they present themselves, everything you would imagine. I LOVE IT. Once I read that with a scorpio mercury you would never know about them, and that ended up being true: they will get information from you in a subtly manner, you don’t realize what you’re saying to them. They’re fucking sarcastic, they love to joke around but not in a goofy way? but they don’t insult an individual, they don’t like it -in my case, 7° (libra degree)- . They get to the point, they’re straightforward, their words can cut you without a warning. They don’t like when people keep making the same questions (repetitive) when it comes to know them, bc it’s obvious -in their eyes- that if they don’t answer or try to avoid it, it’s not necessary to tell you what’s happening -that they don’t like the situation-; and more when they’re a reserve person, they don’t like to reveal their lives if they’re not comfortable/don’t want to. Even worse when someone that they don’t like, take their information and spread it like nothing, without their permission; they will warn you in front of everyone that they didn’t like it and you didn’t have the right to do it. Those little things that I just mentioned are EVERYTHING for them. Don’t you dare use what they told you about themselves in a manner they will not agree. You have the honor of knowing at least a little bit of them, don’t waste it.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

•This is based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

•English is not my first language.

•I’m not a profesional astrologer.

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#astrology #astro observations #pinterest #astrologia #astro posts #astro notes #scorpio mercury #neptune #moon #mercury #moon square jupiter

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astrojulia · 1 year

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hi! can u make a post about saturn rx in leo in the first house? thank u^^

Saturn Retrograde in the Natal Chart

~ Saturn Rx through the houses and signs analysis

Every planet when it is retrograde works differently than its direct placement. It's not TOTALLY different and so you can read and look up its normal placement, you just need to make a few changes, Saturn Rx (Retrograde) has the following things to look out for:

You may find it difficult to assert yourself, and people may not see you as an authority figure or someone mature enough to handle more elaborate tasks. This could impact your confidence and anger management.

You may not have been taught an accurate sense of what the rules are, or how much responsibility you have to take on in order to be considered responsible. Discipline may have been vague, and you may not have known when to stop yourself, or when is it enough.

You may not know your own limits, and have trouble setting boundaries, especially in the house and sign where Saturn is retrograde.

You may not have a clear understanding of what you can or cannot do.

“There is something missing in the relationship with the father that impacts the life — divorce, hard working and not with the family, on the road at lot, killed in a war or died early — with Neptune, he is preoccupied or ambivalent.”[lynnkoiner]

If you have retrograde Saturn in your chart, you may experience sadness, depression, loneliness, fatigue, or a lack of motivation. Disrespect from parents or other authority figures may also hold you back. Retrograde Saturn focuses on whatever is hindering your productivity and success, which could be an ongoing problem that requires attention.

⌦ .｡.:*♡ Spiritual/Karmic meaning: Many see Retrograde Planets as info of your past life and something you need to do now. In terms of the spiritual and karmic meaning, retrograde planets can provide insight into your past life and the lessons you need to learn in this one. If you have Saturn retrograde in your natal chart, it signifies a problem with self-discipline or avoidance of responsibility in a past life. Due to illness, immaturity, or disrespect, you may have neglected to take care of your loved ones. Some lessons or extra effort will be required in this life to pay off and leave behind this karmic debt. It is important to learn these lessons to avoid having to go through the difficult cycle again.

⌦ .｡.:*♡ Saturn Rx in the houses and signs:The position and aspect of retrograde Saturn can show the areas of life, personality traits, and behaviors that require extra development. Ideally, Saturn is disciplined, responsible, stable, respectful, and reliable. A healthy Saturn is hardworking and dedicated. The goal is to be strong enough, both physically and emotionally, to deal with life's difficulties and take responsibility for oneself and one's family. Depending on where Saturn is retrograde in your chart, you may need to focus on developing specific skills or traits to become more successful and fulfilled.

⌦ .｡.:*♡ Sources and Inspirations:Whoever reads this post will see that it's very similar to posts about Saturn but very negative, and well, this is the focus of this post, talking about the positive parts you can see in other posts. So the focus is on what Rx can do and what to work with. The inspirations for this post were few since it is specific, they were this one and this one, the template for this post is from sparklypalace on deviantart and poohsources on tumblr.

This placement can indicate a significant difficulty with self-esteem and saying 'no.' With Saturn Rx in a fire sign and house, issues related to fire can be stuck. There may be a fear of expressing oneself, speaking up a little louder, running, or indulging in carnal pleasures. You might be too afraid to step up and face life. You may not feel welcome in anything that showcases your creativity or deviates from tradition; you want to be like Picasso, but the world expects you to be like Da Vinci. First and foremost, any issues with Saturn are usually resolved with time, as our superego (that voice that dictates how we should behave in society) realizes that it doesn't need to be so restrictive because, deep down, nobody cares. With this aspect in mind, I think a lot about tattoos and body transformations as a means of freeing oneself and putting art on one's own body. Generally, it can be challenging to assert oneself as someone with their own unique tastes, and working with creativity without expecting the result to be worthy of a museum can be helpful.

Saturn Retrograde through the zodiac signs

✧. ┊ Aries and aspecting Mars: individuals may struggle with asserting themselves and expressing their needs and desires. They may lack confidence and have difficulty managing their anger, which can lead to conflicts and challenges in personal and professional relationships. They swallow their wills and feelings so much and end up locking themselves up. It's important for these individuals to work on building their self-esteem and learning healthy ways to express their emotions.

✧. ┊ Taurus and aspecting Venus: it can bring up issues related to finances, material possessions, and self-worth. It seems that everything they do in life forces them to step out of their comfort zone so that they never really feel comfortable (especially in the house where the Saturn is). Additionally, they may struggle with valuing themselves and their abilities, which can impact their personal and professional lives. They often question whether who they are has the makings of an honorable and valuable person. It's important for these individuals to work on building their self-worth and learning healthy financial habits.

✧. ┊ Gemini and aspecting Mercury: individuals may struggle with expressing themselves effectively. They may have difficulty making decisions and may feel overwhelmed by the amount of information they need to process. It's important for these individuals to work on developing their communication skills and learning to trust their instincts.

✧. ┊ Cancer and aspecting Moon: individuals may struggle with expressing their emotions and nurturing themselves and others. They may have difficulty with family relationships and may feel like they don't have a solid foundation in their personal lives. It's important for these individuals to work on developing healthy emotional habits and creating a supportive network of loved ones.

✧. ┊ Leo and aspecting Sun: individuals may struggle with self-expression, creativity, and leadership. They may feel like they don't have the confidence or skills to take on leadership roles or express themselves creatively. It's important for these individuals to work on building their self-confidence and developing their creative abilities.

✧. ┊ Virgo and aspecting Mercury: individuals may struggle with organization, analysis, and perfectionism. They may have difficulty staying focused and may feel overwhelmed by the amount of work they need to do. It's important for these individuals to work on developing healthy organizational habits and learning to prioritize their tasks. They may also benefit from working on letting go of their need for perfection and embracing their imperfections.

✧. ┊ Libra and aspecting Venus: Individuals with Saturn Retrograde in Libra may experience difficulties in maintaining relationships, particularly with romantic partners. They may struggle to find balance and harmony, which can result in issues with compromise and conflict resolution. These individuals may have a fear of abandonment and may struggle to express their needs and desires. It is important for them to learn how to communicate effectively and define their own boundaries to maintain healthy relationships.

✧. ┊ Scorpio and aspecting Pluto: Saturn Retrograde in Scorpio can lead to difficulties in trust, intimacy, and power dynamics. These individuals may struggle with trust issues and have difficulty forming deep emotional connections with others. They may also have a fear of vulnerability and struggle with expressing their own emotions. These individuals may have a tendency to manipulate others or feel manipulated by others, leading to power struggles in relationships. It is important for them to work on developing trust and emotional intimacy with others to cultivate healthy relationships.

✧. ┊ Sagittarius and aspecting Jupiter: Individuals with Saturn Retrograde in Sagittarius may struggle with belief systems, philosophy, and adventure. They may have difficulty finding their own identity and may feel trapped by societal or cultural expectations. These individuals may also have a fear of failure or a lack of direction in life. It is important for them to explore their own beliefs and values to find their true path in life.

✧. ┊ Capricorn and aspecting Saturn (sorry,not possible 😅): Saturn Retrograde in Capricorn can lead to difficulties with authority, responsibility, and ambition. These individuals may have a fear of failure and struggle with taking risks in life. They may also have difficulty with authority figures, either feeling intimidated by them or feeling the need to constantly challenge them. These individuals may also struggle with finding balance between their personal and professional lives. It is important for them to work on developing self-confidence and a sense of direction to achieve their goals.

✧. ┊ Aquarius and aspecting Uranus: Individuals with Saturn Retrograde in Aquarius may have difficulty with individuality, innovation, and detachment. They may feel pressure to conform to societal norms or struggle to find their own unique identity. These individuals may also have difficulty with emotional expression and forming deep connections with others. They may feel disconnected from others or struggle to fit in with their peers. It is important for them to embrace their individuality and work on developing emotional intimacy with others to cultivate healthy relationships.

✧. ┊ Pisces and aspecting Neptune: Saturn Retrograde in Pisces can lead to difficulties with boundaries, empathy, and spirituality. These individuals may struggle with setting boundaries and may feel overwhelmed by the emotions of others. They may also struggle with developing their own spirituality or may feel disconnected from their own intuition. These individuals may have a tendency to isolate themselves or feel like they are constantly giving to others without receiving in return. It is important for them to work on developing healthy boundaries and learning how to prioritize their own needs and emotions.

Saturn Retrograde through the houses

✧. ┊ 1st House: With Saturn Retrograde in the 1st house, you might find yourself struggling with self-image, self-worth, and self-esteem. Maybe you've always felt like you don't quite fit in, or that you're not good enough. You might try to make up for this by taking on too much responsibility for others. When Saturn goes direct, you might build up walls to protect yourself, but during retrograde, you might have trouble saying no.

✧. ┊ 2nd House: If you have Saturn Retrograde in the 2nd house, you might find yourself having a tough time with money, material possessions, and self-worth. Maybe you've been taught that you have to work really hard to get what you want, or you've seen your parents struggle financially. During retrograde, you might feel like you're responsible for other people's finances, and have a hard time setting boundaries.

✧. ┊ 3rd House: Saturn Retrograde in the 3rd house can make communication, learning, and decision-making difficult for you. Maybe you get really anxious in school, and it affects your ability to learn and express yourself. You might have trouble hearing correctly when you're nervous. But opening up about your struggles can help you form closer relationships with others.

✧. ┊ 4th House: With Saturn Retrograde in the 4th house, you might struggle with emotional expression, nurturing, and family relationships. Maybe you have a hard time connecting with your parents, but you still feel like you need to take care of them. You might take on too much responsibility to try to bond with your family, even if it's not good for you. Sometimes, it's necessary to set boundaries and distance yourself from your family to become your own person.

✧. ┊ 5th House: If you have Saturn Retrograde in the 5th house, you might have trouble with self-expression, creativity, and leadership. You might find it difficult to say no to your children, especially if they're your firstborn. Expressing your emotions might also be tough for you, which can lead to misunderstandings. When it comes to gambling or speculation, you're not likely to have much success unless you're well-aspected.

✧. ┊ 6th House: Saturn Retrograde in the 6th house can cause issues with organization, analysis, and perfectionism. You might be a perfectionist at work because you have a hard time setting boundaries. This can lead to bosses and coworkers taking advantage of you. This placement isn't great for being a boss yourself, since you might struggle with similar boundary-setting and perfectionism issues.

✧. ┊ 7th house: You might run into some trouble with your relationships. It can be tough to find a good balance and harmony with your partner, and you might feel like you're having some issues with being a parent. If this sounds like you, it's important to set some boundaries and learn how to say "no" to avoid getting into any sticky situations.

✧. ┊ 8th house: Trust and intimacy might be tough for you. You might find it hard to get on the same page as your partner when it comes to money, and you should be careful about tying yourself down legally until you really understand your financial situation. It could be helpful to look at your partner dad's attitude towards money to get some insight into their own finances.

✧. ┊ 9th house: You might find yourself struggling with your beliefs and sense of adventure. If you grew up in a really religious environment, you might feel like you're having trouble breaking away and finding your own identity. Try to challenge those old beliefs and create your own value system. You might also find yourself changing your mind about what you want to study in school or where you want to go, but it's important to keep questioning and finding your own path.

✧. ┊ 10th house: You might have a hard time with responsibility and boundaries at work. It can be tough to say "no" and take control of your own career, but it's important to define your own boundaries and responsibilities to achieve success. You might find that you have a bit of a struggle with authority figures, particularly your dad, but once you figure out your own attitude towards responsibility, you'll be in a better spot.

✧. ┊ 11th house: You feel like they're struggling to express their own personality and might feel a little disconnected from their friends. You might feel like you don't quite fit in with your own age group, and it can be tough to find a sense of belonging. When Saturn is transiting, you might be looking for a way to feel more connected to a group, but when it's retrograde, you might find yourself feeling a little intimidated by people your own age.

✧. ┊ 12th house: You might struggle with setting boundaries and connecting with other people. It can be tough to develop your own spirituality and empathize with others. You might feel a little bit isolated, but finding a job where you can work independently might be helpful for creating a sense of security.

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erazonpo3 · 2 months

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Erazon's Characterisation Essay (Part 1 - Cynthia Edition)

General preface; This is me snowballing on a thought I had earlier about canon v fanon trends given that it's a pretty evergreen topic. Without getting too much into the subject itself, I made the point that you can use the source material as a starting point for analysing characterisation, but in a lot of cases it's highly interpretive; using Pokemon as an example, most of the non-player characters exist to enable the player's autonomy throughout the game's storyline, and only a small handful have their own detailed arcs and backstories.

Therefore if you want to build on characterisation for them for transformative fanworks, you only have a handful of dialogue lines and some environmental storytelling that borders on olympic levels of mental gymnastics. Things like backstory and character motivation needs to be invented, to which end the concept of 'canon' characterisation becomes pretty insignificant in comparison to the story you are trying to tell, and whether or not that characterisation is thematically appropriate and compelling. Everyone is going to have a subjective opinion about the 'essence' of a character, the core traits that make them who they are, and how integral those traits are for it to be a 'canon' or 'fanon' interpretation.

And yet there's still ways to analyse the games to draw some conclusions that aren't always obvious straight away.

I'm going to go into how I draw characterisation for Cynthia for Way Out, but keep in mind that I don't consider my characterisation perfect or the One True Depiction To End All Others etc and so on and so forth. There's things I need to discard in favour of the story– adults in the Pokemon games, including Cynthia, have a pretty laissez-faire attitude when it comes to kids handling crises so that the target audience (kids) can feel acutalised as they play through the story, but it's not always what I consider a core character trait so much as a function of the medium.

I play up a sense of responsibility and duty that isn't really depicted in the games but is nevertheless an easy takeaway in order to give her character a bit more depth and relateability. And when other people take her character in a different direction, I try to keep an open mind about what they're saying about her character in their story, because their story is not a video game for children nor a webcomic, and they will need to do different things depending on her narrative role.

(I don't have to like it, but I'm no less a subjective soul than anyone else).

I also pull here and there from other sources of inspiration, one I've mentioned before is a meta-analysis of how she's treated by the fandom in general, assuming she'd be treated a similar way as a public figure in-universe. A lot of my character work is about peeling back that legendary status and asking who the person underneath is and how she might deal with the pressures of being expected to consistently meet other people's high standards, and how to balance a healthy competitive streak without it becoming toxic.

But more to the point– here's some material exclusively from Platinum that I think collates to a pretty consistent depiction of her character, to keep in mind and interpret any which way, arranged into some key traits.

She is the granddaughter of a village elder in a traditional rural town.

"My grandma has this sort of bossy atmosphere about her. I think you'll recognize her right away. Yes, I'm sure you will. She's the elder of Celestic Town"

An overlooked aspect of her character that I think holds some of the ripest potential for her character is that we know a fair deal about where her family is from, potentially where she was raised. My personal conclusions are:

It is likely she has an ingrained sense of cultural values of humility, respect, duty, and tradition. While she may not be ruled by these traits, they would influence the way she interacts with the world.

Her interest in mythology is likely inspired the mural in Celestic town, and reflects a value of heritage and history.

It's a common 'fanon' that her grandmother was her primary guardian through much of her childhood, which isn't substantiated anywhere (just because we don't meet her parents as NPCs doesn't mean they don't exist) but this idea strengthens the connection she has to Celestic town and emphasises her position as the elder's heir.

Cynthia introducing herself as a trainer and not a Champion suggests humility; she positions herself as an equal to the player as opposed to a superior.

2. She is earnest and sincere

"...The places we are born. The time we spend living... The languages we speak... We are all different. But the presence of Pokémon unites us. We share our lives with our Pokémon and our happiness grows as we all become greater than we were alone. That is why we can battle and trade with anyone we choose..."

This is a reflection of her position as a narrative foil to Cyrus; where he dismisses the importance of emotion and 'spirit', she holds it in high regard. Thus;

She sees strong emotions as the source of her bond to her Pokemon and therefore the source of her success. While it's not to say she's an overly empathetic person, I think it follows easily that is generally emotionally intelligent (generally).

I think she's self-aware about how emotional she can be too, which is to say it's something she consciously embraces despite knowing she comes across a little overly earnest (and cheesy) sometimes.

"I love the sound a piano makes. I savor every note with my entire being. It's not only my ears; my spirit hears the music it makes... Ehehe, I made myself cringe saying that."

3. She is intelligent

"I think I let myself get carried away and talked for far too long. I'm sorry, and thank you"

This feels like a no brainer (ha) but it's also easy to take someone who comes across as emotional and write them off as being illogical or not having the depth for complex thought. To me, her emotional intelligence goes hand in hand with her analytical intelligence.

Her fascination with mythology is one of her defining traits, and her dialogue is the source of much of the lore surrounding the Sinnoh legendary Pokemon.

Her pursuit of knowledge is one of her defining traits; her interest in mythology and the distant past is referenced more frequently by herself and other NPCs than the fact of her being Champion. "My big sister is studying the myths of Sinnoh. She wants to know how people and Pokemon interacted in the days of myths."

As a Champion, I consider that she's very calculating and analytical. Even without the strategic held items given to her in BDSP, her Pokemon have perfect stats and have solid type coverage. It's not something she would accidentally stumble onto.

"When you are facing a Trainer in battle, you can learn everything about them. What Pokemon they have. What moves they've taught. What items they make Pokemon hold."

4. She is kind

"I want you to keep traveling to many far-off places. I want you to keep meeting all kinds of people and Pokémon. I came all the way here just so I could say that to you!"

A Champion in this game being kind isn't really a revolutionary idea, but it's still something I consider very integral, particularly in conjunction with the prior traits; there is diplomacy and there is compassion, and to me Cynthia balances both.

She is something of a mentor figure to the player, giving them the solution to obstacles on multiple occasissions (HM Cut, the Secret Medicine), and imparts a lot of lore to them. Notably she gives them an egg which hatches into a Togepi; while this event doesn't happen in BDSP and Platinum doesn't have the Fairy type, it's still retroactively made more interesting for the fact that Togekiss' modern Fairy/Flying type grants perfect immunity to her Garchomp's Dragon/Ground typing.

Some of the few interactions the player will have with her is giving medicine to the Psyduck blocking the route to Celestic town, and then delivering a charm to her grandmother– it gives an impression that she is regularly invested in small acts of kindness.

5. Other tidbits

Every time she interacts with you as the player, it is always through the lens of an adult with a public position speaking to a child; I take it as a given that all her interactions have a slight amount of professional distance, and a formality she wouldn't have if speaking to an adult friend.

She reveals that she went on a similar journey as the player character after being given a Pokedex by Professor Rowan, which could imply she experienced similar experiences to the established protagonist journey formula.

There's a slight goofiness to some of her dialogue that suggests she doesn't always take herself too seriously. "You've seen that group of Psyduck huddled with their heads in their, uh, hands...?"

It's a pretty common 'fanon' for Cynthia to have known Cyrus in her childhood, but this isn't really substantiated in text; her dialogue towards him would be a lot colder with that context as opposed to a stranger. It's a common headcanon because giving them a history together strengthens their position as foils, but in my opinion it's equally as interesting that Cyrus succeeds as far as he does because he exists in Cynthia's blind spot- she admits she didn't pay enough attention to what Team Galactic was up to, and can only stand in opposition to him ideologically, unwilling to entertain (or empathise with) his perspective. It hints at a certain stubbornness she has when she believes she's right and someone else is wrong.

This is just what I personally glean from the text; it's possible I've missed something that somebody else considers ultimately integral. But I hope that my writing in Way Out speaks for itself in how I apply all this to her character in the story, and why I feel it's important to do so. Cynthia is the character I second-guess the most in her characterisation because she should always be recognisable, even while going through different arcs. Her values, her intelligence, her sincerity, and her kindness are all things that need to be balanced with the needs of the story; how strong she is is just a relative thing to what any particular scene demands.

There's a lot I could still elaborate on but for the sake of at least attempting to keep this (relatively) concise, I wrote all this to highlight how I try to stay on track with consistent characterisation, which may not be the perfect ideal for this character but nevertheless is the best version for my story. There's nobody I hold to a higher writing standard than myself, and I try to constantly ask myself if I'm really writing what's best for the narrative or if I can do something better. I'm not interested in the most canon depiction that exists for another story, I'm interested in what's right for my story.

And uhhhh peace ✌️

#long post #like long long #it's a whole read #but if you like reading do i have good news for you #pokemon #cynthia #characterisation #tangential enough to way out that i can tag it #way out #im also open to discussions about this because it's just my ~opinion~ and again i like to keep an open mind

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