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angstics · 8 months

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3.3k words summarizing queliot if you've never seen the magicians. or if youve seen it and you want to indulge in my insane criticisms. lord touch his mind

okay so the magicians was a tv show about a bunch of post grads learning magic in magic university then discovering that the fantasy world from a kids book series was actually real and the Beast of that world was out to get them. WHO GIVES A FUCK. the crazy people were focused on the relationship btwn main character quentin coldwater (depressed, heart on his sleeve, surprise sex maniac who is new to magic and loves those books) and gay best friend eliot waugh (substance addicted (big surprise!!), gay trauma, named after evelyn waugh oh you know…) they form a friendship and it’s weirdly touchy and close. eliot keeps trying to seduce quentin but it’s never serious. i dont even think quentin notices. anyone remember the “lets not talk” scene? he was about to fuck that sad man. anyway this tension was actually fulfilled by the end of the 1st season with a drunk threesome including the two and their best friend margo. they at least kiss and cuddle and MAYBE sucked dick if the ghost of his girlfriend who haunts him later is to be believed (which i do #cockinhismouthsunday).

at this time articles that were like “THIS SIFI SERIES IS PROUDLY BISEXUAL” were coming out which. lol. lmfao! quentin never had any sort of queer identity. not even a hint of it. the homophobia of the show started with the regurgitation of the “sad drunk lonely sex-crazed” gay man trope with eliot, then the “everyone is fluid but no one actually has same sex attraction” trope, THEN by sidelining and killing off almost every gay or trans character, THEN THE QUENTIN THING. and the quentin thing turned people insane. let’s see why.

so after the threesome, eliot and quentin continue having a good friendship. there is some tension that isnt present with margo which sure is a choice… but it is resolved by a heartfelt crowning ceremony nd hug. oh theyre kings of the magic land now btw. eliot and q are pretty much separate from this point on xcept for certain episodes/moments. it is strange they dont have any storylines together. but love finds a way. at some point a version of eliot sacrifies himself for quentin. if u look at the scene it is on instinct it is crazy. then they reunite at the end of s2 but it’s all business really. the show was really involved w its nonsense plot.

anyway season 3. hahaha. so like i said theyre separate most of the show past s1. this is true in this season xcept for episodes 305 and 313 (with some notable moments in between). the plot of this season is that they have to go on quests to collect keys. the creature that gives eliot this plot calls quentin his “brother of the heart”. ok! when they see each other for the first time in a while in 304, they hug in a very sweet way :) look at this photo from bts during that scene :) i have it framed

after a series of other quests, 305 turns out to be the Eliot and Quentin quest! finally a story with the two! the quest is for the “time key”, which is fabled to be given to whoever solves the mosaic puzzle in fillory (magic world). the puzzle? they have to arrange 100s of tiles in a way that depicts “the beauty of all life”. quentin is very excited about it. eliot is happy to hear him infodump. they eventually get pushed into fillory to solve the mosaic. turns out they were also sent DECADES in the past. there might have been a way out but they were dead-set on solving the mosaic and getting their key. so they get to work. they live in a cottage attached to the mosaic and they spend hours, days, months on it. just the two of them and the mosaic. this episode is called “a life in a day” which is so perfect you wonder why the writing couldnt be that good within the show.

at the 1 year anniversary, quentin kisses eliot. and eliot kisses him back. and you wonder woah what does this mean?! well keep wondering girl because this tv show does not care to explore any of that. it chugs on and eliot and q fight about “living their lives there” and quentin gets a Wife and has a child with her and then she DIES (leaving her as a narrative incubator rather than an actual character, which is very in line with the sexism of the show). and they grow up and decades pass and the child grows old enough to leave and it seems eliot co-parented him but (again) the tv show doesnt care to show you that. and this whole time theyre working on the mosaic. years and years. eventually they grow old. it’s just the two of them. until eliot dies. quentin goes to bury him in the mosaic plot and he finds a special little tile. he places it in the mosaic. he gets the key. the puzzle is solved. “the beauty of all life”. but quentin is alone. his life companion is gone. and that’s the last we see of him.

we go back in time til before they enter fillory. their friend stops them and she has the key through time shenanigans and they never live that timeline. UNTIL!!!!! they do. they remember it all. what does decades (50 yrs btw) of living happily together mean for them?!? FUCK ALL APPARENTLY!!!! because the next episode (306 if yr keep track) they mention it ONCE AND NEVER AGAIN. and there is so much beneath the surface with the looks and the line that mentions it (“go be life partners with someone else” eliot says jokingly in a manner that shouldve been the catalyst to quentin’s magic-induced suicide spiral later that episode).

ok quentin does mention it once more to his dying dad. but nothing about his Male Life Partner Of Fifty Years. Nothing. they dont even talk about it with their best friends, leading one to believe they just kept it a secret . which. okay.

okay. so theyre apart til the last episode of the season. and quentin decides to sacrifice himself by locking himself in a cage with a monster for all of eternity. he says the quest prepared him for it which is yikesss. eliot refuses. but quentin insists. they travel to the prison (he gets back together with his gf during this trip btw they had been apart that season after some shit. one of their worst writing decisions i hate this stupid ass cockroach relationship). quentin almost exchanges himself. then eliot shoots the monster. dooming them all.

so the monster doesnt die. instead he possesses eliot. and that becomes the story for season 4. at first quentin and co think eliot is dead. and it’s devastating lol. an interesting thing is that the monster was so. touchy with quentin. unbearably so. it’s such a perverse reflection of eliot’s touch. which is sorta pointed out by quentin in this quote (paraphrase) “i know it’s not eliot. but he has his face and his eyes…”

anyhow 405. hahahahahaha. so this episode it’s revealed eliot is alive but trapped in his own head. and to get out for a moment and tell his friends he’s alive, he needs to confront his most terrible most shameful memory. the whole episode is him trying to figure out what it is. meanwhile, quentin and co are setting up a plan to kill the monster. and quentin breaks up with his gf (lol). in a deleted scene that WAS shown in promo they argue about the monster. and quentin says “im team eliot”. lol

anyhow, eliot’s hit a dead end. he cant figure the worst thing that’s happened in his life. then his memory of quentin (theyve been hangin out) says he’ll “sacrifice” himself if he had to. eliot smiles and says “i know youre just a memory… but youre a very generous one.” and quentin says— (im reciting this from memory btw all of this has been from 4 years of NON STOP thinking about it) quentin says “well you sacrifice for the people you love” and he gives eliot a VERY pointed look. and then it dawns on eliot. and the guilt is instantly palpable.

hahahahha. hahaha. hahahahahaha. okay so eliot goes to the memory he knows is the worst thing he’s ever done. his most traumatic memory, after a lifetime of violent homophobia and bad choices. the person possessed before him described this memory as being “the day he left home”.

the memory? the day they remembered their past lives. did it happen? fifty years. it happened.

theyre sat under a wedding arch (that was the b plot of the episode lol). it’s beautiful. eliot watches the memory play out, standing in front of the seated figures. the guilt. the guilt.

outside, the tension is building. the plan to kill the monster is in motion. quentin has to coax him to a certain spot. he has to look at him as he kills his best friend.

eliot doesnt know this but he gets anxious watching it play out. there is a certainty that this is it. the first time viewer has no idea whats going on. we never saw the direct aftermath of them remembering. we always assumed there wasnt anything.

well a year after 305 aired, a yr after thinking THAT WAS IT, they recontextualize Everything.

it is worth saying here that in the promo interviews leading up to season 4, quentin’s and eliot’s actors were sussing it UP. quentin’s at some point talks on q’s queerness, saying it was the one aspect of his life he didnt feel anxious about.

well

what happens is that quentin asks eliot for a relationship. remember how it was quentin who first kissed eliot? it happens again. heart on his fucking sleeve. i can recite this scene pretty well so im going to fucking do it:

did it happen? fifty years. it happened. it was sort of beautiful. it really was. i know this is gonna sound dumb but … us. i mean we work. we know it cause we lived it. who gets that proof of concept? (eliot smiles uneasily) we just got injected with fifty years of memories so i get that youre not thinking clearly. no im just saying… what if we gave it a shot, would that be so crazy? (eliot looks down, worried and thoughtful. quentin smiles RADIANTLY it is BLINDING) why the fuck not?

editors opinion: quentin is such a beautiful person. to be so truthful about something so scary is unthinkable. especially in context of him being so hopelessly and quietly in love his childhood best friend, and his whirlwind romance with previously mentioned gf, and all the tragedy he endured with these two. but this is someone who loves with his whole heart. what was he supposed to do? contain it?

then eliot hardens.

i know you and you arent… whats the matter? dont be naive it matters. (pause) q i love you but… that isnt me and that definitely isnt you. not when we have a choice. (quentin looks away. he wipes his eye) oh. okay. sorry.

and silence. the real eliot, the eliot who isnt the memory, looks on. tired and angry, he speaks to himself:

what the hell is wrong with you? what the hell are you doing? someone Good and True… Loves you. yeah it was a little crazy but you knew. you knew this truly mattered. and you just SNUFFED IT OUT.

then he looks to the memory of quentin. soft as the clouds:

q. im sorry. i was afraid. and when im afraid i run away.

then he kisses him. and he hits you with the thesis of the episode:

if i ever get out of here q… know that when im braver it cause i learned it from you.

well

thats his most traumatic memory. he is granted passage to consciousness. what is the first thing he sees? quentin. the real quentin.

q? (smiles) q (laughs) it’s me. it’s eliot. ok come on no games. it’s eliot. i said no games. (eliot looks around, worried as all hell) fifty years (he walks towards q) who gets proof of concept like that? what? peaches and plums motherfucker (this is the symbol to their mosaic life) im alive in here. (eyes as wide as saucers, heart in his throat) eliot…

and he ruins their plans of killing the monster. “eliot’s alive.”

then the episodes keep rolling. “eliot eliot eliot. why do you care so much about him?” “because i do.” and “wow i love that plan. except the part where it doesnt save eliot.” quentin gets back with his gf for reasons only the devil knows. but fine ok whatever quentin and eliot will HAVE to talk post-saving. even if the writers ignore it once more they have some kind of relationship. and they do save eliot in the finale! you know who they dont save? lmfao

quentin dies. in a manner that many including myself found weird and unsatisfactory and suicidal. and he never gets to know how eliot feels. never. he’s just gone. their story means nothing 💯

editors note: this ending broke me. i was using the show as a depression crutch, so a fate so hopeless ruined me. cant blame the show for my mistake but being so technically bad certainly didnt help.

well when the show came back for its next (and final lol) season, they did attempt closure for eliot and quentin. for some reason this was all contained in 3 episodes, most of it in the third (503) but what the fuck ever. it has its moments.

the episode is basically about eliot and alice (q’s gf i dont think ive mentioned her name. sorry alice) going on a mini quest up a treacherous mountain for grievers to return a piece of quentin’s soul back to the underworld. their fights are soooo funny. toxic lover vs almost-lover.

alice at some point says “well he was MY boyfriend this is MY pilgrimage and you just TAGGED ALONG” and (blood obviously boiling) eliot goes “right, because he meant nothing to me”. and this highlights something so sneakily homophobic about this whole affair. quentin and eliot’s relationship never mattered to the narrative as much as all the other straight relationships, especially quentin and alice’s. like i said, they would separate for entire seasons. you will be happy to know that not 1 episode goes by without quentin and alice conflicting and making up conflicting and etc. i dont understand how quentin and eliot’s relationship wasnt important enough. they were best friends, they kissed multiple times and had sex AT LEAST once if the mosaic subtext isnt considered. and the mosaic… it isnt just that they lived together for 50 yrs and raised a child and were happy, something they couldnt quite grasp in their old lives… they achieved the beauty of all life. that is a monumental achievement that shouldve changed not only their lives, but their stories.

the thing about the confession is that it wasnt planted in s3. talking about 405, the writers said they came up with it while working on that episode. it was essentially a retcon. though its inclusion explains why they didnt talk about it literally, it doesnt excuse the narrative outright ignoring it. it DEFINITELY doesnt account for why it ignored the rest of the SAME SEASON it was ESTABLISHED IN. if this was quentin and alice, they would be talking about it nonstop. and guess the fuck what when they get back together it is *non stop*.

SO. 503. they are on their pilgrimage. tensions build. eliot hallucinates quentin’s voice (it’s a soundbite from the mosaic when eliot dies which is depressing). they meet another traveller who is grieving his long dead boyfriend.

the traveller asks who theyre grieving and alice goes My Boyfriend and eliot looks away and says he knew him as a friend and it’s so sad it makes me want to die. why did they invent new exciting ways for gay people to be ashamed of who they love. i hate this show.

anyway the traveller talks about his boyfriend and how he was a magician who died young and how his dreams were haunted by him. and eliot is listening so intensely you want to jump hale appleman for being so good at this acting thing. alice goes to sleep and leaves the two alone. then they really start talkin:

(the traveller asks) have you ever had love? (eliot smiles small, hesitant) love…? yeah love. (pause) the friend we’re putting to rest. (traveller is delightfully shock) wasnt just a friend.

truly truly truly cant describe to you how much it physically pains me that it took 2 seasons and for one of them to die and a conversation with a stranger to get to this point. why wasnt this always part of the narrative. why does this only matter now after 2 yrs of fans badgering you about why this isnt part of the fucking show despite BEING PART OF THE FUCKING SHOW! it is dead obvious this was never the intent so even with something that should feel right feels wrong because the show never wanted it. it never wanted quentin to be in love with eliot. but it doesnt make sense if he isnt. i hate this show.

the convo continues 🙄:

does she know? oh god no. a torrid secret affair. (eliot looks away) no, nothing like that.

and i wish eliot was given a proper story. i wish i knew what was going on in his head through all of this. i wish i wish.

so it is revealed that quentin and eliot “had love” and that eliot is keeping it a secret (a revelation considering they werent intimate on screen past the 1 yr anniversary, they were only ever referred to as best friends by cast and crew, AND even what they were was obscured in the confession scene. and their feelings didnt matter past 405 fuck this world). this is huge. it should be huge. eliot’s first arc is about how he cant fall in love until he does and gets his heart broken. quentin’s stories are so wrapped up in alice that having another love interest should complicate that entirely. it doesnt.

the climax of the episode is when eliot expresses difficulty of letting go of quentin and alice says “he was your friend” and eliot replies (quick as if not meaning to) “he wasnt just my friend.” and wowww. how cathartic. the first time in the history of the show they talk about it. 5 seasons btw.

and eliot tells her about the mosaic and how “we loved each other for a really really long time.” and how he told him to fuck off and how he died for him and how he was never able to talk to him again. he just died.

and that part is supposed to be cathartic too. it feels cathartic for eliot the character at least. but to me the Viewer. i was sick of how they were trying to appeal to MY thoughts of what he should be feeling. as if trying to placate me. cuz if it was soo important it wouldnt just been solved after this episode. he DGAF about quentin after this. i dont get it. why cant they write a proper story.

well one line that stuck with me and i truly felt was this:

alice: he was pretty in love with you eliot: i wouldnt say that alice: .. i would

and then eliot looks at her the most devastated a man can look.

thats it. that’s quentin and eliot. a heartfelt and final fuck this show. the fic goes crazy esp the 2019 shit.

#long post #the magicians

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pieandpaperbacks · 5 months

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Top 10 books of 2023

My favourite books of 2023, in no particular order:

A House With Good Bones - T. Kingfisher I was so disappointed when this didn’t win the goodreads choice awards for horror of the year. It’s so creepy and unsettling but in a uniquely T. Kingfisher way that somehow manages to still be funny and kind of cozy.

Wyrd Sisters - Terry Pratchett Of all the Discworld books I read this year, this one was definitely my favourite. I feel like Pratchett started to find his stride in this one, which I noticed more reading chronologically. Also it’s a spoof of Macbeth, and I’m a sucker for anything with Macbeth jokes.

The Bone Season (10th Anniversary Revised Edition) - Samantha Shannon I’ve loved the Bone Season series ever since I binged it in 2021, but the first book always fell a little flat for me. This revised edition fixed all the problems I had with the original. Highly recommend if you’re looking for a really unique fantasy/dystopia.

A Day of Fallen Night - Samantha Shannon I love Priory of the Orange Tree, so I was a little hesitant about a prequel, but ADOFN somehow managed to surpass Priory. It’s a perfect high fantasy that spans many countries and characters, and features multiple sapphic characters, as well as bisexual, asexual, and other queer folks. This was my absolute favourite book of the year.

Stone Butch Blues - Leslie Feinberg One of the most important queer novels of the last 50 years. So glad I read this.

Tell Me I'm An Artist - Chelsea Martin This book found me at just the right time. It asks what it means to be an artist, and explores the intersections between the art world and privilege, and looks at the age old question; what is art?

Gideon the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir I am so late to the Locked Tomb hype, and I can’t believe it took me this long to pick up Gideon the Ninth! The Locked Tomb is quickly becoming one of my favourite fantasy series.

Heartstopper Volume 5 - Alice Oseman I waited all year for this instalment of the Heartstopper series to come out, and I devoured it in one day. Alice Oseman's work is always beautiful and heartfelt, and Volume 5 of Heartstopper is no exception.

The Well of Ascension - Brandon Sanderson I dipped my toes into Sanderson's work for the first time this year, and I started with the Mistborn series. While the prose is not the most complex, the characters and setting are what truly drew me in. So far, The Well of Ascension is my favourite of the trilogy.

Nettle and Bone - T. Kingfisher I read six T. Kingfisher books this year, with the first one being Nettle and Bone, and it's still one of my favourites. A weird dark fairytale with goblin markets, a quest to kill a prince, grave witches, an evil puppet, and a chicken possessed by a demon. What else could you want?

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carriagelamp · 28 days

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Early Spring (March - April) Books

My main takeaway from the books I read over the past couple months that by god if you're going to do something, at least commit to the bit. I would say the books I liked the most this month were the "cheesy" ones or the oddballs, and my least favourite were just... profoundly average. So basic and uninterested in its own premise as to be offensive. At least if you're over-the-top you're making me feel something! Which is more than I can say for some of the books on my list...

Dumplin’

I’ve seen this book frequently in bookstores, and I know it was fairly popular at the time so after my mom watched the film and recommended it to me I decided it was about time to read it properly.

The plot follows Willowdean, a fat girl who is generally fairly comfortable in her skin — or who has always seen herself as such. But with her former pageant queen mom getting into the latest pageant season, her best friend getting more and more involved in romance, and Will finding herself enamoured with a coworker she is struggling more and more with complicated feelings about how she views herself and how others view her. In an effort to fight back against it, she decides to sign up for the most recent pageant.

It was decent! I can’t really complain. I got the audiobook and it was fairly chill, low-stakes listening. High school drama is never my first choice, but there were enough good things about this book. My biggest complaint is that the ending was very anticlimactic. This is the sort of book where I want the big, cliche, over-the-top satisfying finale! It's about misfits taking over a small town beauty pageant!! I want it in the style of Hairspray or Legally Blonde or something!!! But the book was so painfully self-aware that it really tripped itself up in “therapy talk” and "realistic" endings that just took the wind out of its sails, rather than asking what the satisfying ending is. Still, worth the read if you enjoy a YA coming of age story.

Fence v1

Christ all mighty folks. I feel like I’m being gaslit here. This comic had some rave reviews on goodreads so I grabbed the first couple books from the library and it’s? actually just awful? I figured, hey, this will probably be done in the style of a sports manga, right? I enjoy a sports manga from time to time, especially a queer one. And you can tell that that’s what it’s inspired by. But holy SHIT is it boring. Like the art is AGONIZING. It’s stiff and uninspired and emotionless. I’ve read manga that’s managed to make the fucking board game go look like a high-stakes action adventure, and this book managed to make TEENAGERS WITH SWORDS boring as hell. I don't know enough about the author to tell if this is indicative of her usual work, or if the fault lays in just the blandest art imaginable but seriously, what the fuck. Don’t read this. I’m gonna go reread Haikyuu instead and remind myself that some people know how to draw sports scenes that are capable of making me feel things. Jesus.

Fullmetal Alchemist

A reread ♥ I stumbled across an FMA fanfiction by pure chance at the beginning of March and it made me dig out my books and reread the first few volumes. Always a cozy story to return to. If you've never taken the time to read Fullmetal Alchemist... honestly I'm not sure what rock you've been living under but you should do it. An unshakeable classic for a REASON

Home of the Brave

I picked this one up because I really enjoyed Applegate’s free verse novel Odder and I heard this one was written in a similar style. I knocked it out in a single day, it was a very quick read but a very heartfelt story. I can't say that I think everything about it was done perfectly, but for the style and intended audience, it was pretty solid. Made you look at things from a different perspective, had some really heart-wrenching realities to consider, and a lot of feel-good heart.

It followed Kek, a young immigrant from Sudan who has come to live with his aunt since his father and brother were killed and his mother is missing. It explores Kek’s adjustment to living in the United States, how the trauma continues to affect him, and how he begins to make friends — with a neighbour living with a foster family, an old woman, and her cow.

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid v1

I’ve seen gifs of this around, and found a copy of it in the used bookstore so I figured… why not. Is it a good book? No. Not sure I'd bother reading the second, but it was weird enough to have made it worth reading. If nothing else, the premise was strange, art took me by surprised at time, and managed to make me chuckle along from time to time.

Kobayashi helps out a dragon who is now determined to live with her and help her out in an effort to seduce her repay her kindness. The story starts with the dragon being completely heartbroken that Kobayashi would honest rather just take the train on her commute rather than ride a dragon to work because scales are frankly uncomfortable.

Murder Most Puzzling

A fun little book of brainteasers! Each mystery includes a short story description (based around a private detective and her harried assistant) along with hand-drawn art. Between these two things, you’re supposed to deduce who the culprit of each crime is, with all the answers in the back of the book. It was pretty to look at and fun to work through, especially with a friend.

My Happy Marriage v1

Quite enjoyed this one! Is it a really well-written book? No. It’s very simple. But the plot is exactly the sort of sweet, cheesy story that I enjoy.

A very Cinderella-esque story, Miyo is from a noble-born family but suffers under her abusive family: an indifferent father, a cruel step-mother, and a selfish, haughty step-sister. She is treated even worse than a servant, and has resigned herself to existing like a meek, cringing shadow in her own home — her lack of magic that people in her class are expected to have makes her feel like this is entirely earned and inescapable. The story kicks off when she is callously married off to a young nobleman who is notorious for scaring away brides within days; he is said to be cold and cruel. Miyo is perfectly prepared for this new home to be no different than her last home...

Old-Fashioned Cupcake with Cappuccino

A sequel to Old-Fashioned Cupcake, in which Nozue and Togawa begin to navigate the more complicated aspects of a relationship that has progressed beyond outings as friends and casual dates, to spending nights and a growing interest in living together. A homophobic society and their own hang-ups make this a complicated topic to navigate and there’s a lot of ups and downs, but it’s ultimately just as sweet as the first part.

Railsea

My favourite read from spring so far — absolutely deranged, I’m going to have to read more by this author. I saw a tumblr post that described this as a dystopian Moby Dick novel crossed with Treasure Island… with giant mutant moles rather than whales and trains instead of ships. Frankly, if that doesn’t also grab you by the throat and make you want to read it, I don’t know what to tell you. The author’s writing style is very distinct, and mimics what you expect from something like Moby Dick or Treasure Island, and he doesn’t bother holding your hand as he introduces this strange world to you. The world-building is really top tier, it’s completely bizarre and yet it feels very natural once you see how it works. The underlying themes are also just breath-taking. It was a masterfully written book and just a pure delight, especially once the second half kicks off.

The Serpent and the Wings of Night

Speaking of books that got rave reviews and that I feel are gaslighting me…

This came to me highly recommended and the goodread reviews seemed to agree… and guys, just wholly shit. Pure opposite of Railsea. Boring trite language, world-building that made absolutely no fucking sense, and characterization that felt like negative space. A pure void of characterization that sucked my entire will to live into it like a black hole. Like, this book so clearly did not actually give a shit about its own premise and didn't make a single effort to create a cohesive world or narrative... it leaned on tired tropes so heavily that it creaked. I had a couple mutuals that got to listen to me liveblog this and I couldn’t get through more than a couple paragraphs without losing my shit. Complete garbage, clearly riding on the coattails of A Court of Thorns and Roses without understanding what actually made that series compelling. I absolutely did not finish this book. The little bit I did read nearly killed me.

Heaven Official's Blessing (TGCF) v6

I continue to be completely enamoured with Heaven Official’s Blessing. The only reason I’m not tearing through these books faster is because a) I don’t want it to end and b) it keeps making me want to stop and write fanfiction about it instead. Getting to learn more about Xie Lian's past, the fall of Xianle, and the complete collapse of his life was just... ouch. My heart. Had to stop and cry about Xie Lian and Hua Cheng a LOT during this one folks.

The Wild Robot Protects

The third installment of Roz’s life on her island with her son, Brightwing, and her various animal friends. This time a deadly tide is sweeping through the ocean, killing any living thing that comes in contact with it, putting enormous strain on the resources of the island as animals try to move inland to escape it. Roz takes it upon herself to venture north and find the cause of this tide.

It was… meh. A middling book. Not bad, good for kids who are enjoying this series, a good lesson about how pollution, the inter-connectivity of nature, and marine conservation. But given how good the first two books in the series were, I was a bit disappointed with this one. It felt long winded and boring, with nothing of note actually happening until literally the last couple chapters.

#book review #book reviews #railsea #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #my happy marriage #miss kobayashi's dragon maid #fullmetal alchemist #fma #dumplin #old fashioned cupcake #murder most puzzling #wild robot #katherine applegate #home of the brave #chatter

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softness-and-shattering · 4 months

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Two mini reviews, partly brought to you by tumblr autosaving - Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas. I wasn't sure what to expect; I really liked The Sunbearer Trials (Ive not yet read the sequel), and DNF'd Lost In The Never Woods because it was the wrong type and intensity of dark and spooky for me at the time. Cemetery Boys is a freaking delight. Maybe my least favourite part was the villain reveal, it made sense but either it wasnt foreshadowed enough or I just wanted better for that character? idk. But this isnt primarily a plot book, its a romance, and its a story about community and acceptance, and figuring out how you fit into the world when you're not the shape you're expected to be. And it did really well with both those aspects. I also appreciate that with so many stories, real and fictional, about people who have to leave their communities to find themselves, I appreciate a story of someone who never once thinks maybe I need to leave, and instead forges on to create space for himself in his community and his heritage. That's not everyone's story and thats totally fine. Our experiences are diverse and we deserve diverse stories. Its all good. As for the romance, its really believable. Its quite an opposites-attract situation, from Julian's aggressive queerness and non-issue with Yadriel's transness making his albeit and unexpected presence a breath of fresh air to Yadriel, to their growing understanding of each other's lives and admiration for the strength of each others convictions. (When Julian is upset about his friends and Yadriel nevertheless pauses to set that boundary about ghost-safety, that was hot.). And the ghost aspect! (this is not a mini review anymore lol). I was not really sure how that was going to go, and then cheering for them, and then wondering what the heck they were gonna do about ongoing ghost-itude and the finiteness of that situation, and actually I really liked how it went. The romance and how they push each other and grow to understand each other is fun, romantic, sexy, heartfelt. Remarkably sexy given that one of them is a ghost who cant be touched. (Spoilers for a sec - the scene on the car where Yadriel reaches for Julian's jacket to pull him closer and there's nothing there to grab? Oh that feels like grief.) The book is quite a bit about grief. Missing parents, missing support networks, missing opportunities to be yourself and be accepted. Its about a guy who can communicate with ghosts and its set around Dia de Meurtos, there's grief themes.

I also really love Maritza, showing off another aspect of (gender) non-conformity, that its not only trans people who have trouble fitting fairly strict defined roles. (Julian's friends do so similarly). Almost all the Spanish I picked up from context, but how Julian refers to Yadriel at the end I knew I had to look up that word specifically and oh my heart. Overall really enjoyed. probably 9/10 second, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off. I havent read the books/comics, I have seen the movie. This show....for at least the first half I had no idea what the rules of the universe were or what exactly was going on or what themes exactly were being explored. I was definitely entertained though. The last few episodes manage to make sense of the first few and deliver on those themes in ways I quite liked. I liked that Ramona is the "manic pixie dream girl" and then almost immediately gets upstaged for that role by Envy Addams. I normally am annoyed at stories in which some boring guy "gets" the manic pixie dream girl and certainly doesn't appreciate her - you know the kind who goes on reddit and complains that she wont stop talking about slugs or decorates their whole house in anime? And I know scott pilgrim is a comment on that trope. I like how its about scott but its not really about scott. Largely its about Ramona and her friends (and her exes). And the others recognise that scott isnt so great, or so smart, and also that if Ramona likes him thats cool. He can be a "lovable idiot" and shes not automatically making a mistake with him. If they're happy they're happy. (and of course the ways that *could* go wrong, but arent destined to). Plus the music is fun, the visuals are bright and pretty. It might lean overstimulating for some people, I had to stop and think about my spoon levels between episodes. Thats what I got for today. Two very different fun stories I recommend like 8-9/10, not perfect but a damn good ride.

#review #mine #scott pilgrim takes off #cemetery boys

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seancosy · 1 year

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I’m a drunk man rn

My next boyfriend will be so communicative. We will constantly be telling each other about our days and our thought and our feelings. Like I want to call or text him multiple times throughout the day even just for tiny little updates. It’ll be like 20% codependent but in a good way. Like, we can’t wait to tell each other about every little thing that went on. We won’t hide anything from each other (Except a surprise present. Which is cute but not necessary) He’ll be good at cuddling. He’ll be smart and he’ll like books just like I do. I’m realising that’s important. I just had a drink with a (taken) man who likes books and it was the best non-date ever.

He’ll love exercise- not to be a muscle gay but because of the endorphins and for his health. He’ll be a good cook and like food and exploring new recipes together with me. His love languages will be physical touch, words of affirmation and quality time. We’ll spend a lot of time in nature, exploring forests and beaches and looking up at the beautiful stars :’)

We’ll have an open relationship but only when we’re apart or not immediately available - we’ll have such a good connection we won’t need to actively seek out sex with others.

He’ll ideally have a lovely big family that I can join, but this is optional. We’ll make a family either way will all our queer friends.

And I just want him to talk to me and share himself and find me interesting.

I honestly don’t care that much what he looks like. Handsome face please. Any body type within the realm of normal (not anorexic and not morbidly obese. Anything in between is gr8). Any race etc bc none of that matters.

I’m ready for THE BIG LOVE. The man who will sweep me off my feet, and inspire me to give everything of myself to him.

I’ve only been in one relationship before. And he literally sat me down and told me we should communicate less (?????) after 8 YEARS!!! Of a relationship. It broke my heart and I knew it was over there and then. When I was 27 years old. He said this in the context of me telling him about my feelings re: my Dead Mother, (which I feel like boyfriends should be obligated to listen to. He massively failed.)

So I’m happy to be single for now. It’s only been a year. But I’m open to finding The One. I’m ready. Does “the one “ exist?? Not literally. I’m sure there are thousands of ‘the ones’ out there. But I will not settle. I deserve so much. I’m literally a really nice person. I’m a doctor and I’ve saved lives. I had a horrible childhood. I’m the most forgiving and gentle and kind person I know. I need The One to be ready to support all of me. And I’ll be ready to support him too 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

If you’re out there, I love you already and I can’t wait to meet you

This is such a drunk bitch message but it’s soooo heartfelt so I’m not even embarrassed to post it

#thoughts #drunk #heartfelt #read this on my wedding day please :’))))#like I’m lonely a bit but I love myself so much and I deserve so much #so I’ll wait patiently but also be on the lookout 👀

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moonage-moth · 1 year

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Imagine Me & You

So, here's an interesting story about this movie and me. I used to watch it hidden from my mom when I was younger. I was maybe thirteen, fourteen at max, and looked at the cable tv schedule everyday in search of when it would air. Eventually I forgot about it, but remembered its existence a few days back and had to watch it again.

Imagine Me & You is a very by the books romance movie. The protagonist, Rachel, thinks she's happy with her boyfriend and her life is great, that is until she meets the florist, Luce, on her wedding day. She feels something, but decides to ignore it because "I never even considered liking other women." Classic compulsory heterosexuality.

Luce ends up befriending the newlywed couple and gets closer to Rachel, only deepening that feeling from before. They like each other, they actually seem to love one another, but it's interesting seeing the "I shouldn't"s and "I couldn't"s they go through until they accept and act on their feelings.

The cheating part is kind of a bummer, I got to admit, but it doesn't bother me that much in fiction. They both take the right decision to end it, but the husband, which I quite liked, figures it out and ends the marriage. People got hurt, yes, but that's life and everybody found their right path in the end.

To end this, I'd like to talk a bit about how much I was enamored with this movie when I was younger. I didn't know I was a trans woman, I didn't even have contact with queer people, growing up in the church and all, but there was something that pulled me to this. The simple idea of two women being together enamored me so much that I had to watch Imagine Me & You hidden from my family every opportunity I had.

But, oh well, it's a good romance movie. If you want a story about people, not only Rachel and Luce, figuring out love (and themselves) with some heartfelt moments, I really recommend it! Go have a watch and have a little cry just like me!

#imagine me and you #imagine me & you #movies #wlw #lesbians

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chairhere · 2 years

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S3 ep12

Ohhhh my gooooood that outfit.

Alex is trying so hard.

Why is Lena so good at destroying Edge. Lena could literally do anything and I would support her. Her laughter is just. And Kara catching the keys and Lena ahhhhh. Kara just looks so good. I really think she would throw him into the sun if Lena asked.

I’m sure Alex could make it painless… Sam. Honey. Take a break please. Good job Alex! Lollipop!

Kara doing her girlfriend duties!

James is so weird. He really needs to get his anger in check. Filming that must have been so funny tho.

She was so ready to risk it all. God I hate LaMes. Why the duck would they let her wake up in her office not like a medical setting. That’s so unrealistic, but like comic books ig.

Lillian can just fuck right off.

God Lena’s so good. She’s trying so hard not to laugh. I love powerful women.

She’s been a little broadsided by love and I AM SCREECHING!

Alex is so in love. Sam is so good. Or at least trying to be.

Ruby has so many queer aunts.

There’s no freaking way that Lena didn’t film this scene and immediately know all the queer people we’re going to die just a little bit.

“Don’t grab women, sweetheart.” I um i ha i hahahaha *heart eyes*

Coward. The CAPE IS FOR Aerodynamics!!!

That boob tape was hanging on for its life. Kara was sooo not subtle staring at Lena’s chest. That was strangely heartfelt.

Thaaaaat felt a little non platonic.

So from what I’ve been watching it’s obvious that Kara does love Mon El but I don’t think she’s in love with Mon El and yes that is an important difference

#s3 ep12 #karadanvers #kara zor el #reign #supergirl #alex danvers #sam arias #lena luthor #james olsen #morgan edge #lillian luthor #ruby arias

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justsomerandomfanfic · 2 years

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Grabby Hands - Steve Rogers X Loki Odinson

Title: Grabby Hands

Steve Rogers X Loki Odinson

Additional Characters: Avengers (Mentioned) Natasha, Bucky (Mentioned), and Sam (Mentioned)

WC: 723

Warnings: Loki being Loki

🜘 Grabby Hands. The worldwide way of saying ‘gimme.’ Loki seems to be catching onto these Midguardian traditions. Even though Loki himself has said he despised such a thing. Even if it was intentional or unintentional, he was still doing it. Steve’s noticed. Hell, all the other Avengers had too. The Avengers also noticed something else that Steve hadn’t. He, himself, was doing the very same thing. Grabby hands. 🜘

Loki Makes Grabby Hands:

It was a cold morning, the sun buried behind gloomy grey clouds. The Avengers mysteriously had a day off. One of very few that they all could relax and enjoy. Most of the Avengers wore thick clothing, trying to hide from the icy chill of the tower. Even though Tony was a billionaire, he didn’t want to turn on the warm heat. Loki was up early, like usual. He was reading, as usual, again, a bagel on his plate, freshly smeared with smooth cream cheese. Taking a bite, he hid his reaction to the smooth, creamy goodness of his bagel. Holding in a sigh, Loki chewed and swallowed before returning to his book.

“You really enjoyed that bagel, didn’t you?” Natasha smirked, from her seat across from him, on the other couch.

Loki, not needing to look up from his book, waved a hand, disregarding her. Natasha only smirked before reading her last mission case file on her tablet, crossing her legs, getting comfortable. Not even ten minutes later, did Steve arrive, holding a plate of breakfast of his own. Sitting beside Loki, he raised the bagel to his mouth, but paused, noticing Loki’s intense gaze in his direction.

Loki started at the bagel, and Steve noticed that. Loki glanced at his empty plate and then back to Steve’s bagel. With pleading eyes, he raised both his hands, making grabby hands. Steve sighed and pulled the bagel from his mouth, his almost bite imprinted on the creamy cheese. Looking back to Loki, Steve sighed again, knowing he couldn’t say no to him. Placing the bagel on the plate, he passed it to the god, who gave him a smirk and a kiss on the cheek.

Steve’s cheeks flushed and a shy smile graced his face. It was sort of worth it. He’ll just make another one later.

Steve Makes Grabby Hands:

It was that night, Steve happily finished his bagel, watching a show that both Sam and Bucky had suggested he watch. He quite liked it. These five queer guys helping others were amazing to watch and truly inspirational. Steve shivered slightly, noticing the room was still cooler than usual. Looking around the main room, he couldn’t find any throw blankets or anything he could really warm himself up with. Steve sighed, not really wanting to get up and go to his room three floors up just to get a sweater. But, in this weather…

Looking back to his show, Steve decided to just hang in there for a little while longer. Finish his episode, and then speed-run to his room for a sweater.

“The Fab Five are back for another season with more hip tips, emotionally charged makeovers and heartfelt reveals that bring out all the feels.”

“What are you watching?” A voice then asked.

Looking beside him, Steve noticed Loki standing and looking at the tv, his expression curious. Steve gave the god a smile and gestured to the show.

“These guys go around and help others with fixing their houses and giving them an overall makeover to help with their self-esteem.” Steve explained and Loki nodded slowly, understanding.

Shivering once more, Steve let out a shallow breath. Looking up to Loki, he got an idea. Cuddles. Reaching out to Loki, he made grabby hands towards him. Loki smirked, looking towards Steve’s grabby hands and back into his blue eyes. Loki stalked over and plopped right onto Steve’s lap, a strangled grunt of surprise escaping Steve. Loki laid his legs over Steve’s lap and wrapped his arms around his neck. Smiling innocently down at the Captain, Steve sighed but nonetheless wrapped his arms around Loki’s waist.

Even though this was not what Steve had meant, at least he was warm, sort of. He did have a Frost Giant on his lap. Loki smirked to himself, glad that he lowered the room’s temperature and hid all the blankets.

#cute #fluff #gay #marvel mcu #the avengers #mcu #loki odinson #steve rogers #steve x loki #steve rogers x loki odinson

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nothwell · 6 months

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Thanks to Noah for this heartfelt review of Fiorenzo!

Nothing in the world mine for free / But my love, mine, all mine, all mine. Just in case no one else has said it already: nobody out here is doing it like Sebastian Nothwell! I can't get enough of the way he writes! It'd be impossible to emphasize enough how the tenderness and care that he gives to his characters is a sight to behold and manages to take my breath away each and every time. Granted, as of writing this, I’ve only read two of his books (including this one, Fiorenzo), but it’s astonishing how the prose is always adorned with such a romantic flourish that makes it a challenge not to swoon with every sentence. Hopefully I'm not laying it on too thick, but it’s actually been a minute since I’ve cared about the characters in a story this much! It's gotten to the point where I miss them already despite having just finished the novel! But I'm probably getting ahead of myself, so I'll start by saying that the basic plot follows Fiore, a charming, handsome, and art-dealer chic courtesan who’s desperately looking for a sugar daddy to set him up comfortably for the rest of his days… and as luck would have it, then enters Enzo, a well-off lord who can be the answer to all of Fiore’s problems, but not exactly in the ways he’d originally imagined. As they say, real love is really scary, and money only pays the rent, love is forever, that's all your life, love is heaven sent. I think it goes without saying that I thought that this was the loveliest of lovely stories. I especially enjoyed reading from Enzo’s point-of-view because, while he’s certainly not as flashy or fiery as Fiore, his calm and sensitive demeanor gave the book the much-needed glue to hold everything together, keeping things grounded. Besides, it was achingly wonderful to see Fiore through his adoring gaze. Oh, he also gets an A+ in my grade-book for awesome character design in that… he wears a cool mask. That does it for me. In fact, that's all I need, really. Ahh, I’m sure it’s obvious, but I hope it’s clear that I loved this book so, so much, and I tear up just thinking back on it! It’s a little uncanny how much of it feels specifically catered to my interests as a reader! But perhaps most importantly, this is a book that understands the most important thing; nothing is more romantic than the ever-so-slightly-macabre, and hey, why not add a duel to the death? … You know, for good measure. How very Shakespearean. Love it!

“You,” Enzo murmured against Fiore’s lips as they broke off for breath, “are a devotion.”

FIORENZO is a queer fantasy-of-manners romance featuring secret identities, hurt/comfort, and a happily-ever-after. Out now wherever fine books are found!

Amazon • Apple Books • Barnes & Noble • Kobo • Smashwords

#gay romance #historical romance #mm romance #sebastian nothwell #mlm romance #queer romance #kind words #queer fantasy #historical fantasy #fantasy of manners #mannerpunk #fiorenzo

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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20+ Books That You (Might Actually Want) To Read During Pride Month!

Right, so. I got annoyed after seeing the list referenced in this post last night, told myself that my books are all packed up so I couldn’t do anything about it, and lasted all of a whopping 10 minutes before picking up my phone and attempting to make my own list instead. Behold, my from-memory attempt to present 20 books with strong LGBTQ plots, characters, and/or authors, that DON’T just rely on Suffering and Identity Politics and are... you know... fun.

Listed in alphabetical order by title. Links take you to Bookshop.org, where you can buy them from your local independent bookstore at a discount and NOT from the evil empire.

1. A Master of Djinn – P. Djeli Clark * author of color * steampunk Cairo in 1912 * djinn! magic! murder mystery! * butch Arab lesbian main character * devout hijabi Muslim badass assistant * anticolonial alternate history

2. An Accident of Stars – Foz Meadows (Sequel: A Tyranny of Queens) * trans author * bi, pan, trans, aro representation * racially diverse characters * all female POV characters * high-fantasy world adventures

3. Boyfriend Material – Alexis Hall * queer author * look I love this book SO MUCH and have absolutely screamed about it before but also I LOVE IT SO MUCH * contemporary M/M fake dating in modern London, complete with full cast of disaster found-family queer friends * it is. fucking. HILARIOUS. I almost died the first time reading it * there is a sequel called HUSBAND MATERIAL scheduled to be released in 2022; I am a normal amount of excited for this book

4. Gideon the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir (Sequel: Harrow the Ninth) * the book cover says “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted palace in space!” * that is exactly what you get * slow-burn enemies-to-lovers F/F main romance * I cannot describe this book, it is dark, genre-bendy, science fiction-y, Hunger-Games-with-lesbian-necromancers-in space? Kinda? I have literally never read anything like it * also fucking HILARIOUS

5. One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston * queer author (who wrote Red White and Royal Blue) * bisexual fat girl from the South/lesbian-daughter-of-Chinese immigrants from the 1970s-riot-grrl main romance * time traveling mystery involving the Q train in Brooklyn (mentions Brighton Beach ahem) * magical realism * many more found-family chaotic queers including a trans Latino psychic and a Black accountant by day/drag queen by night and the mean little gay disaster who has a hopeless crush on them

6. Parasol Protectorate (series) – Gail Carriger * this is one of my favorite series, and there are five books: Soulless, Changeless, Blameless, Heartless, and Timeless * steampunk vampires/werewolves late Victorian London, like Jane Austen crossed with P.G. Wodehouse (they are all fucking hilarious) * pretty much everyone is queer; we got your flamboyantly camp gay vampires (Lord Akeldama ftw!) We got your gay werewolves! We got your lesbian French inventors! We got your big disaster idiot werewolf main male love interest! We got your crazy adventures! You name it we got it! * two spin-off novellas: Romancing the Werewolf (M/M) and Romancing the Inventor (F/F) * she has a ton more books in this same universe and writes sexy queer supernatural romance as G.L. Carriger

7. Plain Bad Heroines – Emily M. Danforth * queer author * historical horror-comedy set between a haunted girls’ school in early-1900s New England and in the modern day * all sapphic female main characters * plays with style/form/voice, a story within a story within a story

8. Red White and Royal Blue – Casey McQuiston * you’ve probably heard of it but here I am reccing it again * the biracial son of the first female POTUS falls in love with the Prince of England; shenanigans absolutely ensue * yes, the British monarchy still absolutely sucks a big fat dick * hilarious, heartfelt, reads like fanfic, just go get it, it will change your life

9. Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake – Alexis Hall * same author as Boyfriend Material, this is his newest * bisexual female protagonist * absolutely perfect satire of The Great British Bake Off (you can tell this man has watched EVERY SINGLE SERIES and all of the holiday specials) * sweet and surprisingly thoughtful

10. Starless – Jacqueline Carey * genderqueer/transmasculine main character of color * almost all main characters are brown people! * lush Middle Eastern/India-inspired fantasy world * gods, prophecies, monsters * the best Oh God Why Me I Am A Horrible Mentor wise-old-mentor

11. The Future of Another Timeline – Annalee Newitz * nonbinary (they/them) author * time travel but make it The Handmaid’s Tale * will probably make your head explode * feminist, queer, subversive * diverse characters

12. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee * queer author * technically YA but historical/magical adventure set in the 1700s * bisexual disaster main protagonist and love interest of color * (mis)adventures across Europe * has a sequel (see below) with the badass asexual sister of the protagonist

13. The Hate Project – Kris Ripper * nonbinary/genderqueer author * M/M enemies to lovers/sex with no strings attached (spoiler alert: strings attached) * HECKING HILARIOUS * sweet, escapist, and very low stakes * diverse characters, including fat protagonist with realistic anxiety disorder

14. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy – Mackenzi Lee * PIRATES, obviously * sequel to Gentleman’s Guide * asexual female protagonist * strong queerplatonic f/f friendship * more historical/magical 18th century adventures

15. The Last Rune (series) – Mark Anthony * Imma be real with you chief, I haven’t read this series since I was a clueless teenager with no idea why I liked Gay Stuff so much, so if it does turn out to suck now, don’t throw rotten veggies at me * but especially since it was written in the NINETIES, this series was hella progressive?! * gay characters, disabled characters, characters of color, all playing significant and heroic roles in six-book epic fantasy cycle * people from Earth end up in high-fantasy world of Eldh * endgame M/M romance for the main character * books out of print, I think, but you can find them cheap somewhere like AbeBooks; first one (Beyond the Pale) linked above

16. The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith * queer author * heaven-hell-Valhalla supernatural adventures * The Good Place x Good Omens x Lucifer x The Librarians * Pansexual Black badass female heroine * Queer found families * The Sassiest TM Bisexual Villain Turned Reluctant Hero (is he my favorite? Why on earth would you think that.)

17. The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon * epic doorstopper science fiction/historical fantasy set in a vaguely 16th-century world * main F/F romance between a queen and her sorceress bodyguard * sassy old gay alchemist whose backstory will give you Feelings * so many strong women and characters of color * no homophobia! marriage is fully gender-neutral, spouses are called “companions”

18. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller * likewise one you have probably heard of but still * a little light on the myth/historical part imho, but the writing is beautiful and will give you many feelings * M/M romance between Achilles and Patroclus * reimagining of The Iliad (her other book Circe is also really good)

19 The Stars are Legion – Kameron Hurley * all-female apocalyptic space opera * messy messy antiheroines * grimdark war fantasy * queer sci-fi drama

20. Witchmark – C.L. Polk * author of color * M/M romance * main character is a veteran and a doctor dealing with his own hidden magic and repressed war trauma * gaslamp fantasy set in a world reminiscent of post-WWI England * strong sibling relationship

#book recs #book recommendations #bookblr #happy pride #pride month #lgbtqia #long post

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orionsangel86 · 4 years

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Lets talk about the Bare Minimum

Okay guys, obviously there is a huge divide here among those of us that are super positive and excited and those of you that are really doubtful the finale will give us anything remotely worthwhile. So lets break this down okay? Perhaps it can get us all on a fairly level playing field?

What is the absolute bare minimum the Supernatural Finale can give us to satisfy us?

Everyone will have different ideas of course, but if we dismiss all our wildest dreams and high expectations and consider the fact that yes, this is still Supernatural and they do tend to run on a mix of batshit crazy, profound and poetic beauty, and things seemingly falling into place so perfectly it was clearly 100% accidental (eg: The Monster at the End of this Book) then we should probably try to find a centre point. A point that we can use to gauge how the episode will fair overall.

So what is the bare minimum?

Castiel returns

This is it. This should be the bare minimum we should expect in order to make this finale meaningful.

If we are given nothing else, Cas returning should be enough for us to nod and say “okay Supernatural. You tried. You got him back. He was there for the finale. That’s the main thing.”

If Castiel isn’t back and the finale is just Sam and Dean driving around looking for generic MOTW hunts like in Season 1 in some sort of bronly wet dream, that would be a massive anticlimax and miserable way to end the series. It will be the worst ending of a show since GoT.

BUT we know Misha filmed 20. I will hear no more to the alternative. Misha filming 20 is and always has been a fundamental FACT.

So Castiel returns. Bare minimum met? Right? Of course there are caveats to that key point.

Castiel returning in flashback form only, or as a memory or dream, whilst the actual Castiel still remains in the Empty is NOT an acceptable option. If the show takes this route, this is still below the bare minimum. This would be deemed a failure in my opinion just as if the finale is just Sam and Dean being bros on the road.

What really needs to happen for the bare minimum to be met, is for Castiel to be rescued from the Empty. Whether that is by Jack, by Dean, or by himself or some other means, Castiel must return from the Empty to fix the only actual loose end not tied up in 15x19. We should also finally get the Empty being sent back to sleep, because having just binge watched episodes 12-18 all in one week, let me tell you, the amount of times it is repeated that the Empty desperately wants to go back to sleep is a LOT. From what I have been told, the Empty isn’t even mentioned in 19, so that is the only plot point actually still hanging over the series.

Of course, had Castiel not confessed his “homosexual feelings of love” for Dean in 15x18, then at this point I would have said that the bare minimum I needed was for Cas to be saved, and for Dean to give him a heartfelt hug and a look of love and to say “lets go home” off into a future where we know the story ends with Dean and Cas together in an ambiguous relationship. (Honestly, for a long time, this is the ending I thought we would get).

But Dabb and Bobo have written themselves into a very specific corner.

Castiel’s confession was not ambiguous. Because of this, the big question hanging over the final ever episode of the longest running genre show on TV, isn’t about whether the heroes will stop the big bad, it isn’t whether or not they will live or die, nope, it’s whether the lead male character will reciprocate romantic love for his “equally male” (Note - I’m talking in terms of mainstream here don’t @ me) best friend. The big question Supernatural has gone and put to its audience is “is Dean Winchester also in love with Castiel and therefore, is he also queer?”

This is an unpresedented situation that the show has put itself in.

Because of this, the bare minimum is no longer just Castiel being saved. It’s also Dean answering that question that the show has put to us.

Castiel must be saved, and the love confession must be addressed. These things are the key points going into this final episode. If either of them are glossed over in any way, the show would have fundamentally failed it’s audience, its characters, it’s cast, and everyone involved in it. Given how optimistic and happy everyone who works on the show seems to be currently, I highly doubt that is the case.

So. Castiel must be saved, and the confession must be addressed. Do we accept Dean rejecting Cas?

There is I suppose, a very slim chance that this could happen. If the Network let their own homophobia get to them (before you come @ me, no I don’t consider the CW’s many young attractive lesbian characters to let them off the hook for years of avoiding any non stereotypical queer men. IT’S TOTALLY DIFFERENT) then they may have greenlighted Cas’s queerness whilst refusing to do the same for Dean. They may consider simply saving Castiel and therefore #resurrectingyourgays as enough to satisfy the queer viewers, even though Castiel’s love was not returned. Perhaps in the final episode we will get a flashforward to years down the line and Cas has got over Dean and is living it up with another man? It’s possible right?

It would also cause utter outrage in the fanbase. Dabb and Bobo are far more savvy than fandom gives them credit for. I personally think that had the network said no to Dean reciprocating Castiel’s love, then Dabb and Bobo would have kept it ambiguous, and simply strongly implied that they end up together in an ending like the one I always thought we would get when my hopes for Destiel were at a low point.

So Dean reciprocating Castiel’s love also falls under the bare minimum requirements for the episode to be a success.

How they go about showing Dean reciprocating Cas’s feelings I don’t know. Do I absolutely need a kiss? No. It’s not a bare minimum requirement. Anything beyond Dean simply telling Cas he loves him back and Cas smiling at him is a bonus. Perhaps they could show it the way they showed Jesse and Cesar in 11x19. Through affection and care, but no actual kisses.

Whilst I personally believe we will get a kiss, it’s not a bare minimum, and if we don’t get one I will still be satisfied so long as we get all of the following:

Castiel is saved from the Empty

Dean reciprocates his love

Dean and Cas end up together (whether that be to live lives together on Earth, or both go out fighting and reunite in heaven together. Whatever the case, they must end up together)

My 3rd point here is the only other bare minimum requirement I need to not feel like they have screwed it up. I don’t care whether Dean and Cas end the show alive or dead. What I DO care is that regardless of where they end up, be it Earth, Heaven, or even Purgaytory, they are together. They must end the series together.

There are of course many other things I want. I want Cas to give up his grace (by choice) and become a human (I really wanna see him in Winchester plaid at least once!). I want to see them slow dancing like Garth and Bess did in 15x10. I want Sam to reunite with Eileen and also get a happy ending. I hope they get to keep the damn dog too. Ideally, I want a soft epilogue, because these boys are good people, and they’ve suffered enough. Whatever else may happen though, so long as those bare minimum requirements are met, I will consider the ending a resounding success.

Personally, I don’t think I’m asking for much.

#supernatural #destiel #spn endgame #15x20 #destiel is canon #give us the bare minimum #the rest is confetti #lol

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nn-ee-zz · 3 years

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Hello! I absolutely adore your art! All your pieces are so wonderful. You’re hands down one of my favorite artists ever. May i know what fandoms are you into? Have a lovely day!

An opportunity to talk about my interests? Don't mind if I do! Thank you! I hope I don't disapoint and still remain one of your favorite artists after this

I assume fandom as in spaces online what I participate in or visit, because there are many things that I enjoy but whose fandoms I don't interact with. That specially applies to music. My social battery can only last so long.

Anime/Manga

Despite how my art looks like, I’m very drawn to shows that are colorful, endearing, and dynamic. I want fluff, friendship, sparkles, no major world-altering conflict, just overall characters having a good time and creating impactful relationships amongst each other. I love wholesome happy endings, which is great for my soft heart. I know JJBA doesnt fit that category but it’s outlandish enough to make it a lot of fun. I have a soft spot for Vento Aureo in particular.

Now, I open an exception for Junji Ito. I love inhuman horror, where the threat can't be understood nor controlled. Amazing artstyle aswell.

Books

Dostoievski, Bulgakov, Tchekov

Rip dostoievski, you would have loved Mob Psycho 100. I feel like he would really appreciate a story centered around a character discovering themselves and how to approach their own feelings and the world and people that surround him. I know russian literature has a reputation of being heavy to intrepret and digest. It tackles complicated themes, yes. However, it does that in relatable, heartfelt, and oftentimes comedic way.

On a personal note, some works will be especially funny if you’re queer. As a queer person myself I intrepret A LOT of russian lit characters as being gay, messy, and unhinged. I say that as the highest of compliments. The people in the fandoms I'm in also agree

Dostoiesvki; Crime and Punishment, The Brothers Karamazov, The Idiot. Sad, unhinged men, powerful beautiful women, crimes.

Bulgakov; Master and Margarita!!! Bisexual criminals hanging out with the devil

Tchekov: Short stories, I especially love Ward Nº 6.

Games

I have no shame in admitting I want easy to play games. I already challenge myself with art daily, I don’t care about challenging myself in hobbies.

So I like a lot of visual novel/dating sims. I really liked The Arcana. My fave is, unfortunately, Lucio. I love mess! Love his looks and his horrible little attitude. I want a Valdemar tale. Currently, I’m also up to date with Last Legacy from the fictif app. I started Felix’s route (same with Julian from The Arcana, I went for the edgy emo one) but ended up picking Sage as a favorite. Like I said, I love mess! am currently waiting for a rime route idc if he tried to murder me

I really like Outlast as well, and have watched many, many playthroughs. Of both games. I've read the comics. Currently dormant in that fandom, but I am waiting for the new game to come out.

Youtube

I love fun and I love informative. If it's both, then it's for me. I might binge watch something from time to time, but the ones above are people whose content I've been coming back to for years.

Unhhh-Can't describe it but I love it and rewatch it often. Everyone who is a fan of Unhh is a friend of mine

Ask a Moritician-Caitlin Doughty! I'm always up do date with her channel, and I have bought all of her books. Her fandom is The Order of the Good Death basically jhdkjhaskj

Buzzfeed Unsolved- I've only recently started watching, yes, I know it ended. I'm having a lot of fun tho

Puppet History- A project with Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara, but without buzzfeed. I love history, I love puppets, I love songs.

How to Cook That- Ann Reardon my beloved! She debunks hacks, shows how to actually make them work, saves cakes, makes gorgeous food. Very clever, very wholesome (i stan dave). I also never miss a video

Jaboody Show- Not quite youtubers. They often upload their twitch streams on youtube. I don't watch them all tho. I always think 'i'll just watch 30 min of this 6 hour video' and end up watching the whole thing because they're so fun. Great to listen while working

Utsu-P - Not a youtuber, but a musician. A vocaloid producer, to be exact. Also never miss an upload. Moksha is my fave album and Unique is at close second.

Music

Speaking of Unhhh, I love the music Trixie Mattel (Brian Firkus) puts out. Yellow Cloud, and Gold always make me happy I’m alive. I don't belong to any fandom, however. I don’t stay inside genres either, I go after music for the emotions they bring in me. I spent the last few days listening to Crazier by Taylor Swift, the song she performed in the Hannah Montana movie shdjksahdjk. Some weeks prior it was Baba Yaga by Slaughter to Prevail. I have clear memories of listening to the Cheetah Girls while doing character design, too. Sometimes I listen to 20 minute videos that have snippets of a bunch of pop music from a certain year, when I need to keep up the energy. I'm the type that loves a band but doesn't even know the main singer's name. Which is great, cuz music fandoms look WILD. I'm peacefully enjoying things.

What a very long post! But this is basically it. Also shout out to 90 Day Fiance, that I keep up with because I always watch it with my mom. It's our thing. I'm in that fandom aswell cuz I love the chaos and telling my mom gossip.

Thank you for asking and for those who have read this far!

#ask #long post #personal

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skepticbeliever-bookclub · 3 years

Text

Hello friends! We are here, once again, with our read of the week!

This week, we read the fantastically filthy and deceptively sweet wanna be every button you press by weakspots.

This alternate universe where our favourite boys are thrust into work as teachers, is a fun, funny, and very sexy read. Shane as the surprisingly spicy, vegan, history teacher and Ryan as the anxious, just here for a good time, very hot, gym teacher are a perfect pair and reading along while they find their way to each other was wonderful.

Rating: E

Summary:

As soon as Shane Madej, newest addition to the history department, comes strutting through the door of the faculty room with his vegan cupcakes and shiny hair and radiant personality, he immediately takes everybody's heart by storm — except Ryan's.

Yeah, Ryan can't stop thinking about how obnoxious the guy is.

Can't stop thinking about him altogether, really.

Book Club Thoughts

This fic took me some places and there is always something so refreshing about an AU that plucks their personalities into the categories of the world therein and makes it just Fit.

the ryan voice in this fic is just aces, he's so prickly and grumpy and still anxious about being liked, all at the same time!

I really enjoyed how resistant Ryan was to falling for Shane and seeing how he begrudgingly feel for him

it was definitely interesting to see how well the pairing fits a very cookie-cutter dynamic/trope, and then goes beyond the cutesy scenarios straight for the Good Stuff™ and something that's very them

the narration is very witty, and extremely fun to read

the smut is extremely good and extremely hot, but the feelings are also very sweet and heartfelt and soft

I need to compliment the author on referencing and plucking real outfits out of their actual Looks irl because it affirmed our collective fascination and obsession with their outfits

one thing i love in particular about [the author’s] writing and in this fic in particular, is that everyone feels very believably queer. everyone is out and knows the culture and talks like it, from the way ryan and sara talk to ryan and shane and it feels like a group of people i could know irl

it's the voices honestly, its like hearing them which is fucking delightful

this one was absolutely fantastic beginning to end. The pacing was very on point from Ryan's grumbled beginnings to where Shane and he ultimately end up

it's so incredibly well-written. the prose that's there just to move the story along flows naturally, and when the fic wants to be funny, it succeeds wonderfully

I love it when AUs single out and magnify one specific element of their relationship - in this case Shane and Ryan being snarky with one another - and yet still manage to maintain the feel of Real Life Shyan somehow.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US FOR OUR NEXT DISCUSSION? CHECK OUT THE FAQ, AND SEND US AN ASK! IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR FIC RECS, PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR READS, NOMINEES AND BOOK CLUB REC LISTS!

#shyan #skeptic believer #otp: we took an oath #shyan fic #sbbookclub #read of the week #teacher au #rivals to lovers

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canonicallyanxious · 3 years

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last year i posted a list of some of my favorite queer lit recommendations in honor of pride (which i still stand by, just ftr) and i thought it might be fun to try to make this into a bit of an annual tradition and keep the list more or less updated as time goes on and i (hopefully) read more queer books. who knows if i’ll be able to keep it up lol but we won’t know unless i try so here we go!

As per last year, recs will include links to the goodreads page (if applicable), any thoughts i have on the books, and any trigger warnings i can remember (please be forewarned that I do not have the best memory so I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to catch everything). Including a mix of YA and adult, and excluding books i consider to be staples of the queer lit community (like Aristotle and Dante by Benjamin Alire Saenz is one of my favorite books of all time but i’m sure it’s the favorite of many of the people who are reading this list lol). Organized roughly by genre, then by author.

Contemporary

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender

I’d like to preface this recommendation by saying the premise of this book originally had me quite hesitant. Like full disclosure, I’m not a big fan of the catfishing trope unless it’s done very carefully. That said, without spoiling anything I think it’s actually really well-handled in this story, and in a way I didn’t necessarily expect (in a good way). The main characters are very likeable and overall this is a book with a lot of heart. Highly recommend for those looking for a heartfelt story about a trans teen learning about love!

Features: gay trans protagonist and a variety of other queer characters in the supporting cast

Warnings: transphobia/misgendering as a significant side-plot, outing/deadnaming

Autobiography of Red by Anne Carson

First of all please mind the trigger warnings on this book (of which I’ve probably missed some rip it’s inevitable). I wouldn’t consider this an easy read by any means. That said it is also probably one of my favorite things I’ve read this year so far. It’s a modern retelling of a Greek myth (the tenth labor of Heracles if I’m not mistaken) melded with an original coming-of-age narrative, woven together seamlessly in poignant verse by the brilliant Anne Carson of the Sappho fragments translation fame (as well as infamous tumblr aesthetic quote “not to me, not if it’s you” etc. etc.). The interplay between ancient myth and modern themes/tropes is so fascinating, and the writing is just one punch in the gut after another (imo the verse makes it a bit easier to digest, your mileage may vary tho). i recommend this book for anyone who wants to be emotionally destroyed via quietly devastating poetry.

Features: mlm protagonist

Warnings: pedophilia/sexual assault of a child, incest

The Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake

What is this?? Another modern retelling of a famous story??? I have a brand lol. Yes this is a (loose) retelling of Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare (AKA 17th century She’s the Man) but if you’re hesitant to give it a shot because of that let me tell you i did not even realize this was based on Twelfth Night until after I finished it and I don’t think that detracted from my enjoyment at all. The parallels are there for sure but this book is so much more than a retelling, it’s also a very compelling story about a complicated female protagonist who’s allowed to fuck up and have messy feelings while still being thoroughly sympathetic. i really love the relationship between Violet and her brother Sam, it’s so complex and heartwrenching, but of course the love story kicks ass too and also this book is just really well written!! the writer does a lot of cool things with narration and point of view and stylistic choices, definitely worth checking it out just for the writing imo! happens to be a nice bonus that i think everything else in this book is very good too.

Features: bisexual/pansexual (honestly I can’t remember exactly what label she uses sjknfskjnfs) wlw protagonist with male and female love interests

Warnings: themes of mental illness/depression, various portrayals of self-destructive behavior, hospitalization for suicide attempt as a significant sideplot

Fantasy/Sci-Fi

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Let me preface this recommendation by saying I wouldn’t consider this the most accessible read. I suspect the prose style isn’t one that would work for everyone as it might feel overly wrought/purple to some which is completely understandable. That said, personally I devoured this book in one sitting so I had to give it a shout out. It’s basically this sprawlingly epic story about two mysteriously powerful agents fighting on opposite sides of a millennia-spanning war who eventually fall in love, and I just think the world building and concepts in this book are so enchanting. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not usually one to gravitate toward epistolary narratives but I’ll give anything a shot if it’s well done and I think the letter format of this story is exquisitely well done. like of course the content of the letters and how they develop these characters’ dynamics is very good, but i also really enjoyed reading about how they delivered the letters to each other and in what contexts they received the letters because I feel like those situations in themselves really helped flesh out the settings and characters. anyway i just think this is really beautifully written, would recommend if you’re in the mood for some truly wild storytelling!

Features: wlw protagonists

Warnings: violence/body horror and major character death

The Imperial Radch Trilogy (Ancillary Justice, Ancillary Sword, and Ancillary Mercy) and Provenance (standalone sequel) by Ann Leckie

With these lists I’ve more or less tried to limit myself to one book per writer so I’m definitely cheating with this one but I can’t not recommend this entire series in all its excellence. I truly feel that these books are now the benchmark of sci-fi for me, like never have i encountered an exploration of gender in a sci-fi context that was so richly drawn and satisfying to explore. The different conceptions of gender as explored in these stories are quite different from the typical western conception of the gender binary but Leckie does a really good job of fully immersing you into these new ways of thinking about gender, like it feels so seamless and organic. That aside the world-building in these books is very good - lots of complicated politics and such made more accessible through Leckie’s clear writing. And they’re all just thematically so complex in terms of questions of morality and justice and agency/autonomy/humanity, it’s been a long time since I had a reading experience that was as rewarding as tearing through this series.

Here’s how I would sum them up: if a sprawling series that thoroughly deconstructs questions of humanity/agency and justice from the perspective of a once-powerful military-grade AI intrigues you, I recommend starting with the trilogy! If a standalone story that more resembles heist shenanigans with a plucky heroine, complicated family dynamics, and unlikely friendships at its core is more your speed, I suggest giving Provenance a shot! If those both sound good why not read all of the above!

Features: Trilogy focuses on the Radch, a race of humans who do not have a conception of a gender binary (the author denotes this by referring to all Radchai characters with she/her pronouns); Provenance focuses on a different culture that recognizes a third gender (denoted with e/eir pronouns) with a tradition of not choosing one’s gender until adulthood; in general just some very interesting explorations of gender and sexuality in a sci-fi context

Warnings: genre-typical violence, prominent themes of imperialism/colonialism/genocide/war, consent/autonomy issues

Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee

I mostly recommend this one as a very sweet and feel-good queer story about superheroes in a vaguely futuristic society (as I know my taste in stories tend toward the tragically maudlin I’m trying to balance it out at least a little bit skjdnfskjnfs). The main character is very well-drawn and sympathetic, and her character arc in terms of coming to terms with her identity and agency is definitely one of my favorite parts of this book. my other favorite part of this book is the main romance which I think is just so, so sweet. Personally I found this read a bit predictable but that’s not necessarily a bad thing because it was also just an absurd amount of fun!

Features: bi wlw protagonist with a female love interest, trans character in the supporting cast

Warnings: genre-typical violence

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

Okay so I have absolutely no doubt this book will become a staple of the queer lit community (and if it doesn’t we will be having Words but seeing Red White and Royal Blue’s fanbase and the hype this book is already getting in the days after its release I would genuinely be surprised if it doesn’t) but I read it on the first day of this month and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since so I couldn’t not put this one on the list. i won’t say too much about it because if i let myself go i’ll probably never stop but i just. i’ve been waiting for a story like this. it feels so wonderfully self-indulgent in the best way, so warm and genuine and full of heart. it’s one of those books I feel like I read at the right time in my life - I also happen to be a 24 year old disaster queer with so much uncertainty about the future it hurts! - and it feels like the most sincere love letter to the queer community and reading this book felt like getting the best hug in the world by someone telling me I have a place in this world and I deserve it. It’s that kind of book and I have a feeling I’m going to be thinking about it for a really, really long time.

Features: bi wlw protagonist with a butch lesbian love interest and a supporting cast of trans/queer characters

Comics & Graphic Novels

Monstress by Marjorie M. Liu and Sana Takeda (note: this is an ongoing series; as of my writing this there are currently five volumes out but I believe individual issues/chapters are also available on a more regular basis)

Okay so this one is kind of an intense read and honestly I’m not sure that I would recommend it for everyone but I personally like it so much I wanted to give it a shout out. I really love the world-building in this series, it’s so intricate and well-thought out, and I love that the story is so female-centric. Like the society in this world is matriarchal with strong roots in asian culture and it shows, with such a rich and diverse cast of wonderfully complicated female characters and female relationships. Also the art in this series is just exquisite. i recommend this series for lovers of comics with rich steampunk-esque world-building and deeply flawed characters who also have a high tolerance for blood/gore.

Features: a wlw lead and other queer characters in the supporting/background cast (please note that sexuality/romance is generally not a major part of this story)

Warnings: body horror/gore (like… a lot of it), themes of imperialism/colonialism, cannibalism, child slavery/death

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connell

Love the breathtakingly beautiful art in this, love the heartfelt coming of age storyline, love the focus on friendships and how to get out of a relationship that might not necessarily be the healthiest for you, love everything about this book. Absolute winner of a graphic novel.

Features: a wlw lead and other queer characters in the supporting cast

On A Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

I’m telling you this book has everything. Sweet pining across years in a boarding school setting? check. a vibrant supporting cast that basically hits the found family trope on the head? check. a captivating sci-fi setting with carefully detailed worldbuilding? check. themes of loneliness and connection across galaxies? check. Hauntingly gorgeous art that pulls everything together? check! Hands down one of the most beautiful graphic novels i’ve ever read.

Features: a wlw lead with a female love interest, a nonbinary supporting character and wlw in the supporting cast

Warnings: genre-typical violence, bullying, brief instance of misgendering

The Beechwood Helm by Letty Wilson (note: link goes to publisher’s website)

I am aware this is quite a niche pull, also the comic itself is very short (like under 50 pages) but I wanted to give Quindrie Press (a relatively new indie comics publisher) a shout-out because I recently backed a kickstarter they did to print some of their comics and I’m super impressed with their collection already, like i definitely think this is a publisher to keep your eye on. Personally I would recommend all the comics Quindrie Press currently offers (check out their site!) but I’m shouting out this one in particular because I think there’s just something so captivating and haunting about it. It’s an Arthurian-style story about a pair of knights who one day encounter a mysterious knight in a red helmet who challenges them to a duel to the death. I think this comic does an excellent job of quickly and effectively establishing its characters, relationships, and themes in such a small space, and I’m super into what this comic has to say about perpetuating the cycle of trauma/violence and how love/tenderness can help one break out of it. Doesn’t hurt that the art is gorgeous either! Please consider checking out and supporting indie creators/artists if you can!

Features: mlm protagonists

Warnings: violence/blood

Poetry & Non-Fiction

Drowned: A Mermaid’s Manifesto by Theresa Davis (note: link goes to publisher’s website)

Another very niche pull but I wanted to take this opportunity to shout out a poet/writer from my own local community. I found this collection in my favorite local bookstore and was immediately entranced by its simple yet evocative language. Please consider checking out and supporting indie creators/artists if you can!

Personal favorites: After This We Go Dark, Hypocrisy, Suite Movements

Devotions by Mary Oliver

This is basically a collection of Mary Oliver’s poems throughout her career so if you want a comprehensive primer of Mary Oliver’s poetry this is one I’d definitely recommend checking out! I mean what can I even say about Mary Oliver’s writing that hasn’t already been said. It truly is the epitome of tenderness and comfort; every time i read a poem by her I feel my heart grow a little lighter.

Personal favorites: I don’t want to be demure or respectable, Oxygen, You are standing at the edge of the woods, Singapore, One or Two Things, Wild Geese

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? by Jeannette Winterson

I’ve always loved Jeannette Winterson’s writing - there’s just something about it that feels so punchy and poignant all at once - but I truly feel that this memoir is her writing at its very best. Heartwrenchingly honest writing, haunting ruminations on how complicated the concepts of family and love and grief can be, beautifully drawn atmosphere that seeps the whole narrative with a heaviness that aches but is also somehow breathtakingly accessible. This too ranks among some of my favorite reads this year.

#literature #book recs #pride month #lgbtqia #can you tell poetry is not my forte skjnfksjfns #i tried my best #sarah.txt #e: it seems posting this from mobile did something weird to the read more big rip #i hope this fixes it!...

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angelicamerlinbarnes · 3 years

Text

After Hogwarts, there's an adjustment period.

Or,

James Potter has difficulty sleeping when Sirius and Remus Lupin aren't right next to him.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter have lived together for seven years, and the idea of living with anyone else is a foreign and scary thing. So they acclimate slowly. Sirius and Remus were always going to rent an apartment anyway, so James and Peter start by staying with them. Surprisingly, Peter is the first to work up the courage to leave, making a home with Max just a bit before he proposes to them.

James, however, stays behind with his partners. And it’s nice - they kiss him good morning and goodnight; he wakes up to find Sirius and Remus dancing in the kitchen some days and watches while he eats his breakfast; Remus will sing while he cleans and Sirius will snap photos of the birds and James will sit there, content, as Remus practices his ballet and Sirius plays the violin gently. James likes living with them. He does.

Things don’t really change when Sirius and Remus get married. They’re still with him, though he’s not invited to their asexual adventure wedding night. (He spends the time with Regulus instead.) But when James marries Severus and Lily, he finally moves out, knowing they’ll all have children in the next few years and they can’t keep going on like this.

But he struggles to adapt to a home without Sirius and Remus. Sure, he loves Severus and Lily, and he’s over the moon (sorry, bad wording) to be able to call them his spouses, but they don’t have any of the routines or habits he’s been used to living with for going on ten years now. To James, their house is always too loud or too quiet, too warm or too cold, too crowded or too empty. And James likes it alright. He likes waking up to Lily’s hair in his mouth and Severus singing soft Russian lullabies as he makes his tea. He likes it. But no matter how hard he tries, it’s just not home.

One day Severus and Lily leave him with pecks on the cheek to go on their own date, since it’s been awhile since it was just the two of them. James heads for Sirius and Remus’ apartment not long after, and nearly cries at the sight of Remus curled in an armchair with a book when he comes through the Floo. Sirius is nowhere to be found, but Remus looks up and smiles at him and James can’t help but duck his head to kiss him, having missed this for months.

James collapses into the chair besides Remus, overjoyed when Remus casually takes his hand, his eyes back on his book. The minutes tick by in contented silence until Remus finishes his book, closing it with a sigh and plonking it down on the coffee table before turning to James with a smile. “So,” he says. “What’s up?”

James tells Remus about missing the home he’d built with him and Sirius. Remus smiles while he listens, and eventually says, “How about when Padfoot gets home, we give you your birthday present early?” Now, James has no idea what that could mean, but he agrees and closes his eyes, resolving to let himself be lulled to sleep by the soft way Remus’ thumb is brushing back and forth across the back of his hand.

When Sirius gets home, Remus greets him with a deep kiss. Sirius grins, then pecks James on the mouth in hello. After exchanging some whispers with Remus, Sirius pulls James up out of his chair and drags him down the hall to the bedroom as Remus follows behind, amused. There, Sirius rummages through the closet for a few minutes before grinning brightly and pulling out a large box wrapped in the ugliest floral paper you ever did see.

James smiles. Remus wraps an arm around his waist and kisses his neck, murmuring, “Open it.” James does, albeit hesitantly, and beams at what he sees inside.

The contents of the box are as follows:

Seven (7) of Remus’ sweaters

Three (3) of Sirius’ leather jackets

Recordings of Remus reading James’ favorite books aloud

Four (4) boxes of Remus’ favorite tea (chamomile)

Four (4) boxes of Sirius’ favorite tea (Earl Gray)

Eight (8) photo albums of the three of them (one per year and one for after Hogwarts)

Ten (10) of Sirius’ favorite records (Queen, David Bowie, Taylor Swift, P!nk, Camila Cabello, etc.)

Ten (10) of Remus’ favorite records (Conan Gray, Lana Del Rey, Melanie Martinez, Avril Lavigne, etc.)

A couple of pride flags (small, medium, and large / bisexual (James), polyamorous (James, Lily, Severus), pansexual (Remus), asexual (Sirius, Remus), genderfluid (Sirius), trans (Lily), queer (Severus))

Some of Sirius’ journals from Hogwarts where he’d write down a lot of their interactions and conversations

Some of Remus’ letters to James from Hogwarts and the war

Two (2) little crocheted versions of Sirius and Remus for James to keep in his coat pockets

A copy of their handwritten list of the rules and boundaries of their partnership

A Gryffindor blanket they all used to sleep under

Some firewhiskey and cigarettes (not to use)

Two (2) soft wolf and dog stuffies

A key to Sirius and Remus’ apartment

Two (2) colored-in paper hearts, one reading Sirius’ love and the other reading Remus’ love

At the bottom of the box is a certificate of marriage with Sirius, Remus, and James’ names on it and three rings, all silver with black engravings (pawprint and moon, moon and antlers, pawprint and antlers). James looks up in shock to see both Remus and Sirius kneeling in front of him, laughter in their eyes.

“Wanna marry us?” Remus says, and Sirius lets out a loud, heartfelt laugh. His heart fluttering in his chest, James nods, tearing up as he envelopes them in a tight hug.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he says, and never has trouble sleeping in Severus and Lily’s bed again.

#the marriage is a platonic thing for tax benefits obviously #unless you want this to be romantic in which case the marriage is a romantic thing for all the usual sappy shit weddings are about #james potter #sirius black #sirius lupin #remus lupin #wolfstar #james x lily x severus #queerplatonic wolfstarbucks #sirius &x remus &x james #marauders #harry potter #james being sad about leaving hogwarts and not being sure how to live without sirius and remus #who are like #dumbass we live across the street from you it really can't be that bad #and lily and severus just chillin' and waitin' for him to figure it out like the good spouses they are #i know this isn't how the real world works shut up #i think they'd miss each other after seven years of sharing a room #that's not an adjustment you just make over night #good luck jamie #we're all rootin' for ya #this is sickening self-indulgent crap and i'm not sorry #i need this #okay?#have a nice day y'all

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