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threadsdemiseif · 2 months

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Made by @sapphirestones09

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS AUSGHSJSGDKSHSI

CRYING SHITTING SOBBING

TYSM FOR THE FANFIC, I AM FLOORED

Note: It took an embarrassingly long time to find the submission post. Cons of being tech averse. First fanfic? Yey? English isn’t exactly my first language, and some sentences may sound weird and also punctuations are my enemy. Was supposed to be just a drabble, just a take on the “The Incident” nothing too fancy. It was supposed to be straightforward and simple but then 2.7k words.

During this time the story didn’t even start and there are a lot of details that I may have missed, and plot points are not addressed directly. The fic maybe embarrassingly incorrect when it comes to the events and the interpretation of characters. I know…but I did it anyway.

This is just purely written with no certain Doctor MC in mind but gained inspiration by asking myself “What would a psychopath in “love” do in this situation?”

***

You have never been a romantic.

Although there are times that you convinced yourself you are.

People describe romance and love with words that when put together only sounded like ancient language to you. Foreign. Alien. You drowned yourself in poetry, art, songs, movies, books, you consumed all kinds of media you can get your filthy hands on that emphasizes that kind of ideas, all that work and yet the concept remained an enigma to you. Try as you might it seemed like there is a buffer in your brain causing the words to become static and incomprehensible. Like wisps of smoke and childhood bubbles that pass through your hands when you try to catch it.

People seemed to revolve themselves around it though, becoming the center of their worlds. You? You only saw yourself as an outsider when it comes to this subject. You witness the people you tolerate spinning themselves dizzy around it until they collapse, vomit, and destroy themselves in the process.

You like that. Not romance no, you like the aftermath of it. The chaos left in its wake that you can’t help but marvel. You are curious, intrigued, determined to understand the nature of it and see if you can truly bend it to your will.

How odd your interests are…

And so your experiments began, you engaged yourself for a time. The people around you were more than happy to, it’s a wonder how humans quickly drop to their knees at the sight of a pretty face. Never quite understanding the kind of wretchedness hidden beneath. You instantly learned the system, a smile there, a touch there, a wink, a reassurance, a kiss, a bite, and they are wrapped around your pretty finger.

It quickly got boring. Frustration building inside you. All this time and you still don’t understand it. Everyone says its fun, fulfilling, gratifying in a way that resembles the feeling of jumping from a skyscraper. It overcomes all types of high that you can get from pills and drugs. It’s exhilarating. Maddeningly so.

You want that. That type of feeling. You want to understand it and judge it. If it was truly as amazing as they said it is. If it was worth the wars that waged for it. The lives lost in the name of it.

You want to know the ruin. The hurt. The despair. The madness.

But alas, monsters can’t love, can they?

If that is so, then what is it that you are feeling now?

Why is it that when you look up to their face marred with insanity and tears, do you feel that your heart skip a beat. They look good with hate twisting their soft and gentle features. They look so adorable as their eyes become wet and red with tears and blood. They look so delightful when they sob and growl as they continue to bash your kneecaps.

You are supposed to be feeling pain.

There is a theory you read that when humans experience so much pain beyond their limits of tolerance the person does not feel it. Stimuli overriding the nerves and senses that the person just becomes so numb to it.

Maybe you crossed the threshold of it already as you just feel the lightheaded.

Does the theory even apply to you?

Afterall, you never even thought of yourself as one of them. You could always look beautiful enough. You could always mimic their behavior to the best. You could replicate the twinkle in their eyes and yet. There is always something wrong with you.

You’re only a mess of organs. A casket made of flesh. A jumble of limbs. All to contain nothing but raging madness. You feel it sometimes. Licking the part of your brain and whispers, tickling you with thoughts so vile you can’t even understand it half the time. But sometimes it screams and during those moments you contemplate bashing your head on a rock and watch as blood and brain viscera scatter like red fireworks.

But you don’t feel the madness right now. Pleasant numbness coating you in warmth and comfort.

You can’t really remember what happened that lead to this situation. Them above you, ramming a steel chair on your lower half. Did you even fight back? Did you injure them? Did you curse at them first or did they?

No, you don’t want to think about that, you just want to revel in this moment on how they look so lovely covered in your blood. Yours.

How beautifully tortured they look right now.

So beautiful as they look broken, so so broken by your hands.

You stare at them determined to commit the image to your memory. You will your synapses to work, embedding them to a part of your mind that not even the sickness would touch it.

They were supposed to be another pretty thing to play with. They were so cute and foolish enough to be swayed by your words and touch. Just like the rest, it was so so easy.

And yet here you are underneath them on the cold hard floor covered with your warm blood. Instead of defeat or rage, it is ecstasy that fills you. A sense of pride swells inside. This feeling so exhilarating, gratifying, making you giddy with the excitement.

Is this the love the people spoke about? Then you can understand it now, like puzzle pieces placing themselves until a sense of completion fills you.

You never felt like this before. So whole. So full.

For a moment you are not broken. You are not insane. You are not a disgusting mimicry of everything that is wrong with the world.

You want more. You need more. More...more…

More of what?

More of them.

Of their hate, their ruthlessness, their violence, their cruelty.

Give them all to me, Deziree…

I’ll take it all.

Give me everything that is wrong with you and I’ll kiss it, cherish it, nurture it.

Thank you for existing Deziree, now I don’t have to be alone.

Now, I have someone I can drag with me to the pits of hell.

A siren blares in the background. Shouts of composed terror echo outside. Loud enough to pierce through the cloud of your deliriousness. It seemed to have the same effect to Deziree too as their eyes began to shine with clarity. Horror, regret, disgust, quickly replacing the ferocity of their wrath.

No!

You will not this moment to be over yet! For the first time you felt your heart soar, you felt complete, a sense of belongingness together with them. You can’t let it be over so soon! You simply can’t.

Along with the clarity, the madness began to whisper again. Its tendrils crawling their way to consume any resemblance of sanity left from the previous moment. It offers a way to make the most out of the moment. A way to bind both of you for life. A perfect ending for this absolute freak show.

Your stomach tightens pleasantly. You felt your spine shiver in excitement. Electricity tingles down to your- oh you can’t feel your toes anymore. Nevermind.

Mustering up your strength, your bloodied hands reached over to their face.

Eyes on me.

Only me.

Their attention is now back to you. And you feel complete again.

Oh, how far have you fallen?

You give them a weak smile to which they reciprocate with a blank stare. Mind racing, rationalizing what just happened, remembering the moments that lead them here. Just how did things get this bad? The ever loving Deziree…

You can see them shivering, are they cold? You were the one who’s meant to be cold, considering the blood loss, you are certain you’re going to die if left to your own devices. Well, if that will be the end, why not have some fun.

Your hand slides down to their arms. Their muscles underneath taut with tension and through the stormy expression you can see as clear as day the gradient of emotions. Madness, rage, confusion, love, tenderness, all hues of suffering flicking from one to another. You could sit here all day and watch them in reverence.

They have never been more beautiful as they are now.

Your hands connect with theirs, your smile widening even bigger as your fingers intertwine. You’d be blushing like a fair maiden if it wasn’t for all blood gushing out of you. If your head would have been any clearer, you would question the absurdity of the situation, but its not. It’s filled with chemicals actively trying to keep you alive. The kind that makes you high in glee.

You would also have half the mind to check your own condition being on the brink of death. And you would remedy that immediately. You’re far too smart to be killed aren’t you?

But not this time.

There is nothing as important as you and him in this little corner of the world you marked with red.

His eyes track your movement with the accuracy of a hawk. Then finally, you place his hand around your throat. You’re now a willing prey, baring their most vulnerable to a bloodthirsty predator.

There was no need to wait, their hands immediately applied pressure on your neck. Their fingers that previously held warmth and care now ice cold and harsh. It squeezes your carotid veins, blocking your air until you feel yourself turn blue in seconds if it wasn’t for the blood loss. They grit their teeth even more as a small moan spilled from your lips. Did he take it as a sign of pleasure or pain? You would lick your lips if he could, but you could only manage a pained smile.

“Disgusting. Evil. Vile. Why?! I loved you! I trusted you! And you used me! Ruined me!” they sob.

There were no thoughts in your head. Not a whisper of regret or remorse. You are only staring at him, pupils blown at how beautiful he is under the alternating blues and reds from the window. You now choke and as survival instinct begins to kick in and you thrash. You dig your fingers into their wrists in an attempt to let you go.

You know this is futile and this can cause even more damage to your neck than it already has. But still your body moves in self-preservation. Your mind and body disagreeing in the most beautiful way. You are dying no doubt about that, but by the Gods do you feel so alive.

You feel the precious air being taken away from you. Your blood rushing to your head. Your life slipping away at their hands. It makes you appreciate these little things when you are on death’s door.

Your body begs them to stop, trying to pry away their hands, to push them away from you. You feel the heat of them against you. Your body screams for mercy. But you don’t and you will never want that now, don’t you?

Please don’t let go.

Please hold me.

Please kill me.

“You deserve this. I did nothing wrong! The world will be better without you. I hope you burn in hell,” they spat.

You wheeze as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. The lack of oxygen and blood finally hitting you as you feel your consciousness ebb away.

A bang echoed the walls of the room from the door opening harshly, footsteps and harsh voices goes in. The weight on top of you was then pulled away, you whimpered at the loss. Practiced and efficient hands began to land on you to check on your condition and at the edge of your vision, see that they had restrained Deziree a few feet away from you.

Face planted on the red floor as they thrash against the restraints of police, their voice panicked but their bloodlust evident from the string of curses they release in your direction. The officers are successful in putting them in their place.

You are promptly carried away. The paramedics dons a concerned expression as they talk ensuring to keep your consciousness awake. You close your eyes only replying in tired hums. You don’t have to look at yourself to see that you’re all levels of bad for seasoned healers to panic.

And even though you can’t see, you feel the people’s righteous fury and sympathy for you like water. From the officers to your neighbors who watches from the sidelines parched and in need of some new gossip to talk about. You can already pinpoint their thoughts, their sadness, relief, worry at how such a young thing was already subjected to the cruelty of such a harsh world.

The human mind is truly such a wonder. People will determine who received the most injury, who is more sympathetic, unnecessary details that help them fuel their own beliefs. Twisting it to suit their own narratives. You can hear them talk words that will end up being printed by tomorrow’s newspaper. And that made you sneer in amusement inwardly.

Because they have never been so wrong than equate you to a pitiful little victim.

It was a good thing the old lady next door was fond of gossips. You made a show of yourself spilling your relationship problems acting all teary and vulnerable, not-so-subtly hinting that you may be in possible danger. So, when the crash and fight started you were sure they were the one who called the police on time.

The strangling part was seriously a last-minute plan, the blood loss making you all loopy and droopy. The police force has body cameras attached to them. Meaning that they have caught Deziree strangling a person on camera. A person who in addition, mutilated your legs you might need it amputated and end up a cripple for the rest of your life.

You shrug. You’re plenty resourceful. You can imagine the opportunity it presents.

Mutilation, strangulation, and the other deeds of Deziree will be revealed in the court. Even if they plead not guilty, the evidence will stack upon them one by one, drowning in proof that you orchestrated like an elaborate game of chess. There is such a thing we call as falsified truths.

Deziree will be hated, scrutinized, their entire being skinned and every part of him will be laid bare for others to see and judge. You mentally calculate and figured they’re going to prison for 10 years give or take. 10 years of living in hell that you personally decorated.

You can taste their pain already. Their expression falling at the verdict of the judge. People cursing their name both inside and outside the bars. And even when they are alone, they’ll never be rid of you. Making sure that their thoughts will always be haunted by the image of you. You only you. What a pretty mental cage you put them in.

There was no regret or remorse as you allowed yourself to smile.

Not one of pleasure nor pain.

It is simply a smile of victory.

Deziree came close, but it’s not enough. They’ll have to become stronger, smarter, better. You needed a drive, you needed them to improve to beat the game you have designed. They might go to prison but you’re far too smart from thinking this is all over. They’ll come back, you know they would.

You inflicted just the right amount of pain for them to persevere. Not too much that they would give up and think that this is all pointless. Not too little that they won’t grow from this. Every factor of this event, taken into account into your pretty little head, all for what?

For an elaborate game of course.

A game that will not begin until later. But you don’t worry, after all patience is truly a virtue especially in this sense. Even though you’re already achingly awaiting the moment.

The cards are dealt, the stakes are ready, and the table is prepared for all the players that will be involved.

You’re already buzzing with excitement. You wonder what they will become. What kind of monster have you created? What kind of chaos and destruction will they bring? How much will be left of you when they’re done? Or will there be any left?

How you long to see it already.

Them in their full potential to end you.

Ah, see, you can be a romantic after all.

#submission #thread's demise #li : deziree #Myrr Answers #the doctor #interactive fiction #if game #if wip #FANFIC

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trans-axolotl · 5 months

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(Apologies this is long and rambley)

So ive been thinking on a peer-made trait-based 'diagnostic model' (not for disorders but neurodiverse traits), rather than the way the DSM and ICD do it and what that would look like and if it would be a good idea to propose as an alternative that focuses the patients unique experiences over theorized model boxes with misleading names.

Ive been growing increasingly discontent with how the ICD and DSM both categorize disorders, and the completed alternate models ive seen that already exist are not much better honestly, and worse for my specific brainfuckery. The alternate models that only focus on one section are just that- focused on one specific experience. Monotropisim as an alternate autism model can never be fully realized in the bubble it exists as a theory in. Plurality has like 50 different theory models and half of them aggressively ignore common reported experiences because they don't work with their unverified personal gnosis theory of everything, and the other half are likewise mostly incomplete. Trauma/cause-based models ignore genetic/from birth issues as a known cause of mental illness/developmental disorder and also consider everything trauma to the point of diluting the term.

I figured the best option would be to group traits by perceived experiences or related phenomena, with overlap, and the best way to do that accurately would be to make the 'diagnostic codes' combinable infinitely. (ex- a category that is 'unusual sensory experiences' with synthesia, hypo and hyper sensitivity to stimuli, needing to regulate with the sensory system (stimming) to high degrees, hallucinations of any kind, voice hearing(would also go under the plural category when consistent and personlike in presentation), visual snow, etc and each trait is a unique string of characters you can stack under the category string to create a larger string that describes your experiences quickly and concisely).

(The groupings are still all up in the air and id want to get a lot of perspective before cementing it, but I do want to put synthesia and hallucinations and visual snow all together because they are adding a Weird experience and its sensory based stuff others cannot perceive)

And then I realized that this is just the Geek Code but for neurodiversity,,

Im STILL not sure if that makes it a bad idea or not honestly.

On one hand the way the DSM and ICD are set up is NOT actually that great, and being able to shorthand a list that describes things better and doesnt pathologize people as having 'asshole liar personality disorder' or whatever would be fantastic, on the other it is also clunky, people are gonna be pissed about how I am categorizing things contrary to how the DSM and ICD group things (autism and schizophrenia and plurality are all holding hands and kissing with tongue), and it may more strongly encourage people to share very private information online via sharing their string code of every last neuroweirdness they have (which I do NOT want people doing for safety reasons).

So I just went 'hm, whos a cool antipsych person who may have more insight than I do about trying to make a peer-made description system for those who dont want to use the DSM or ICD to describe their experiences', and I thought of you, so thoughts? Is it feasible? Is it a good idea to try? I have like 500 million projects and I REALLY shouldnt add a new one of this magnitude, but I feel like its an important idea to at least float around first.

Hey anon! My answer got pretty long, so I'm going to put it under the read more.

I actually know a few people doing something like this--the founding director of Neuromancers started a project like this (not much has been happening with it lately, bc everyone is so busy with other organizing commitments and life, but if we ever get back to it i'm really excited about it. you could join the discord for Neuromancers and ask about the project if you want to join). I'm a known DSM hater and think that both the DSM and ICD and most biomedical models of mental illness as well as the "evidence based" processes of diagnosis are so fundamentally flawed, oppressive, and are in no way culturally relevant to the vast majority of people. a lot of us are still going to use that terminology as a shorthand because it's the most accessible and understandable in our current society, but that doesn't necessarily mean we all like it or agree with the way it's formulated in the DSM.

Honestly, I'm always a big fan of mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people creating more ways of understanding ourselves and creating more resources for us to use. I think that there's never going to be one right model that works for every experience or than can encompass everyone. And I think that there's so much value in really deconstructing and dismantling the DSM--understanding exactly how disorders are currently categorized, the evidence behind it, the lack of evidence behind it, what clinicians and researchers are saying about these diagnoses, how we actually experience these diagnoses in practice, how diagnoses change through history, things like that. It can be super crucial to build our own understandings of just how these diagnoses were shaped in the first place so that we can understand what it would mean to dismantle and build alternative models that feel more affirming for us. I think your idea of trying to group more by traits rather than strict disorder criteria is something that might resonate with a lot of people!

that being said, i think that it is such a large and difficult project and also something that is almost impossible to make universal--there are so many factors going into everyone's experience with madness/mental illness/neurodivergence, and different labels are going to resonate with different people for different reasons. it's hard to predict what language or models will catch on with different people, and not all types of language or models are accessible to everyone. i guess for me i just think it can be helpful to go into projects like this without the expectations that this will necessarily be able to replace the DSM for everyone, and instead thinking more about how this can be a valuable tool for providing more options and ways of thinking about madness/mental illness/neurodivergence! even if it doesn't work for everyone or is only applicable to certain types of traits and variations, i think that this type of creation of knowledge is so, so valuable. i hope that makes sense!

some other related concepts that your ask reminded me of was @bioethicists principles of liberatory antipsychiatry. Charlie identifies the right to your own explanatory model as a key principle of liberatory antipsychiatry, and that liberatory antipsychiatry should affirm and build upon those individual models, and respect that as a way of healing. I think that's a really important insight, and to me makes a lot of sense. We all have the right to draw from our own experiences + minds, as well as use existing knowledge, science, and disability community experience in order to create alterative labels, models, and frameworks for our madness/mental illness/neurodivergence. I honestly feel like I've created my own hyperspecific model of madness for my own bodymind, and that framework has been super helpful for figuring out how to live with my madness. Idk how helpful it would be for anyone who isn't me, but having my own particular explanatory model was crucial for helping me heal.

It also reminds me of the way this really amazing peer support network for people living with schizophrenia in Japan called Bethel House, who developed a framework for radical peer support and healing. This article talks about the concept of tōjisha-kenkyū, which in English would get translated as something like "self directed diagnosis" or maybe "political education," and it seems kind of similiar to English concepts about self diagnosis.

"Self-reflection is at the heart of this practice. Tōjisha-kenkyū incorporates various forms of reflection developed in clinical methods, such as social skills training and cognitive behavioural therapy, but the reflections of a tōjisha don’t begin and end at the individual. Instead, self-reflection is always shared, becoming a form of knowledge that can be communally reflected upon and improved. At Bethel House, members found it liberating that they could define themselves as ‘producers’ of a new form of knowledge, just like the doctors and scientists who diagnosed and studied them in hospital wards. The experiential knowledge of Bethel members now forms the basis of an open and shared public domain of collective knowledge about mental health, one distributed through books, newspaper articles, documentaries and social media." (Japan's radical alternative to psychiatric diagnosis, Satsuki Ayayais and Junko Kitanaka, ).

Anyway, thought I'd share those things to sort of point you in the direction of other people thinking about madness outside of the DSM. if you end up doing any more thought or creation for this idea, def feel free to share with me! I love seeing all the ways people take apart the DSM and build our own knowledge, and would love to keep updated.

best of luck, anon!

#asks #psych abolition #mad liberation #mad pride #ableism

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semper-legens · 2 months

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32. Leif and Thorn: Forget Me Not, by Erin Ptah

Owned: Yes Page count: 187 My summary: Things are going weird for Thorn Estragon. Amid an outbreak of the Whispers, he's dealing with a crowd of people wanting to break into the Embassy and looking after his bed-ridden friend who really shouldn't get the Whispers right now. But juggling all of that is not his problem anymore. The Woman in Black is on the case, and on the case, and on the case…yep, that's right, it's a time loop. My rating: 5/5 My commentary:

New Leif and Thorn day! At least, I'm writing this on the day the book arrived on my doorstep. Given the queue, it's probably been about a week before you're reading this. Anyway, Leif and Thorn! People who've been around these parts for a while will know that it's one of my favourite webcomics, I'm actually currently doing a full reread at the minute, and I have gotten each of the print copies of the books as they come out since I started reading. And as a webcomic, you too can go and read it for free right now! Check the link at the start of this paragraph! Anyway, this covers the arcs from Ø is for Øverwritten to Final Rest, but is mostly dealing with the Time Loop plot. Let's go!

It's a sign of a good ensemble piece, I think, that this volume is mostly about people who are not title characters Leif and Thorn, and for me to barely notice it beside a little bit of lampshading. Okay, granted, future Thorn does show up and is a major character, but the main arcs covered in this volume are from Mulberry and Rowan. More on Rowan later, but who the hell is Mulberry? Turns out the Woman In Black is Leif and Thorn's time-travelling future daughter here on a mission to keep a particular Big Bad Thing from happening (Kale getting the Whispers) and is stuck looping around one particular day in order to achieve that goal. Which sounds a lot sillier on paper than it does when it shows up! Poor Mulberry shows a lot of pluck and grit here - she's trying her hardest to put everything back together and avoid all of the family drama stuff while still being very much affected by, you know, seeing her dad and also her dad (and maybe probably also her dad) as younger people. Her almost gleeful throwing herself through this loop, trying options over and over again and even skipping bits so that she can figure out all of the puzzle pieces is really interesting and relatable - she's almost approaching gamer girl status in how she approaches the time loops, it's really interesting. That Mulberry has a connection to the people she's observing adds a good angle, she's not able to detach herself entirely from the characters because she's related to some of them! I fucking love time loops, man.

The other main story here is the Rowan/Archie one, where Thorn's knight Rowan goes on a date with showrunner of an NCIS-style show Archie. They get in some Peril from a dark magical girl, we get more of Team Thorn's magical girl Atarangi and her system, and that's all very well and good but what I want to talk about is virginity! Specifically, Rowan is very much into casual sex and one-night stands, we know this as a character trait of his at this point. Archie, however, is self-described as a thirty eight year old virgin who's not necessarily asexual or aromantic, but hasn't had a lot of experience with romance and sex. And the way they negotiate that is really interesting! There's conflict there, but it's not triggering or anything to me as a sex-repulsed ace - they have their own feelings about it, but ultimately deal with it in a very adult and very reasonable way. It's something that you see so rarely in fiction and I have to commend it for being a really engaging look at sexuality and asexuality (if that's what's actually going on with Archie) from a different angle.

Next up, a summer camp where things are most definitely about to go wrong at all…

#Leif and Thorn #Erin Ptah #bookblr #book blog #book blogger #5

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notbooper · 11 months

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Hehe here's some ramblings ab my weird Groundhog Day Price au thing :) this is kinda me laying out a timeline of everything and whatever else comes to mind

Heads up: I don't think I'll ever turn this into one long cohesive fic, it'll probably just be little ficlets and then long ramble-y bits like this

Read my first post regarding this au or else you'll be lost bc I explain a lot of things from my intro that I don't exactly plan to put into in depth writing.

Intro

Cw: I love Price so much so I put him through hell <3, temporary character death, depictioms of death n violence and bodily harm, non canon timeline bc oops and fuck canon (just a bit), this is not written like a fic like the first part, so it's just me rambling, also formatting is terrible ik I'm so sorry I just needed to get this out of my system, Ghoap content

Not edited bc lazy

So uh timeline is funky bc I forgor ab canon and consistency and also despite the fact I've played both 2019 and mw2 multiple times I'm still dumb. N e way:

I assume that the boys aren't familiar with each other at the beginning of mw2 but price knows all of them bc he hand picked them. I assume that they haven't worked w each other b4 those events but we're throwing that out the window here bc I forgot :)

So they had one very brief mission together before the events of mw2, the one described in my little intro blurb, nothing too serious or long, not enough time for team bonding, simply something I made up for expository ab the whole Groundhog Day thing.

Also ok explaining background Ghoap w my fucky timeline bc I totally forgor I wrote some implied Ghoap:

I dug my own grave by saying I wanted to set my blurb b4 mw2 and make that mission quick and they don't even get any time to like bond properly, but we can make this work ok? Ok. I don’t see Ghost as a self sacrificing person despite the fact that he's military and it kinda comes w the job and his status as definitely dead and shit and just his kinda general disposition. I can see it if he's v close w someone but otherwise it usually isn't "practical" bc of how useful he knows he is. In this scenario though ima say that Ghost had been heavily injured in the heli wreck and knew that he wasn’t gonna get too far. Once the heli crashed, he had been the closest to Gaz and had tried to pull him out, for the sole purpose of during the time before he could tell how fond Prive was of him, and because Ghost cares deeply for Price he made an effort to rescue Gaz, that doesn't work obviously and he ends up terribly injured. Later on, once they start taking heavy fire and closer to his death Ghost realizes that he's not going to make it too far and decides that when there needs to be a sacrifice, bc he knows there will, he'll go down.

Cut to Ghost sees that Soap's ab to get fucked up and takes the shot 4 him. Soap's reaction, unlike Ghost's reasoning, is based in vague Ghoap. Soap comes to the conclusion, b4 they even get out of the heli, that the Lieutenant does not like him. Fine, he's clashed w/ COs b4, nothing new. He was hoping that since they were gonna be on this same tiny team that maybe the could be friendly but he supposed not. So imagine his shock when the man who seemed to despise him sacrifices himself for Soap. He's touched, truly, especially bc that Soap will never know that Ghost's real reasoning. That Soap believes in that moment that maybe that Ghost didn't hate him and maybe kinda really liked him but didn't show it. He beliebes that if THE Ghost sacraficed himself for Soap, that he must feel that Soap was a valuable member of the team, maybe moreso than him. That Soap is also in the middle of watching his entire team get wiped out and realizing that it's now him and Price against what feels like an entire army so his extreme emotional reaction to Ghost's death is also in part from that.

There, intro Ghoap explained :)

Explanation of how this Groundhog Day shit works btw:

The first time it happens is in my little intro blurb thing. Price will go through an event where any one or more of the 141 dies, and then he will be sort of sent back in time to varying amounts of time before the events happen so that he can prevent their deaths. Price can't control it obviously. How Price discerns that these aren't weird premonitions and actually events that he lived through is that he always gets sent back with some scars from whatever shit show happened. Like for example in my blurb he would come back with his palms all scarred up from the broken glass he grabbed from the window soap got tackled out of at the end. It's a weird mechanic ik but shhhhh it's for angst purposes. It's there as a sort of reminder for Price for all the times he's "failed" his boys bc I FUCKING LOVE ANGST n e way,

Then the events of mw2 happen ofc. There are different points throughout in which I will kill the boys so here's that death list:

Gaz- something to do with the helicopter bit, obviously, like he gets no breaks, idc if you get tired of how many heli deaths I give this man, I like it. I think everyone gets one death during mw2 events

Side note: one thing I feel like I'm having a hard time balancing is making this compelling by "killing" off the boys and traumatizing Price, and also not making the boys look more incompetent if that makes sense? Like I had three deaths drafted up for Gaz but felt it was too much?

Kate: 110% dies at one point during the whole hostage thing. Gives an extra oof to John's whole apology bit to her afterwards (ome of my fav interactions in the game tbh)

Ghost: this fucker is proving the hardest to brainstorm for tbh. Like if anyone, for any of these parts at all, wants to put in any ideas feel free to, but I just feel like the others have NDEs that I can use as deaths, but honestly I feel like Ghost is I don't want to say better than the others but there's not really a point in mw2 in which I feel like I could take inspo for a death? So ig tldr: TBD but maybe none at all and when the timeline expands to after current canon I give him smtg big to give my boy some attention?

Soap: alone, obviously. This one is more complex then the others. They're all gonna be situations in which John can do something, whether directly or indirectly to change the outcome. I think for alone John cycles through that loop for a bit, not being able to make contact with anyone in Las almas and he gets lucky that after a few cycles we get canon alone events. This will def be it's own little chapter fic drabble thing bc I have so much to say ab this and how it affects Price

Bonus soap thought: I also wanted to do Graves tank fight purely bc that's the part I had the most trouble with in my first playthrough of the game. I had to repeat that section an ungodly amt of time and shaped me into the avid Graves hater I am today. I'm digressing but n e way I decided against the tank bit bc alone was just so much more yummier in my head.

---------------------------------------------------

N e way that's my sort of ramblings for now, small bits and pieces will be on the way, probably

#cod mw2 #mw2 #soap mctavish #cod mwii #call of duty modern warfare #fanfic #captain price #john price #john mactavish #soap mw2 #ghost mw2 #ghostsoap #ghost x soap #ghoap #kyle gaz garrick #gaz mw2 #kyle garrick #kate laswell

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multiplicity-positivity · 1 year

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Hello! Found your blog recently, and we kinda wanted to share our story. Sorry if this ends up being long winded :[

Also CW for {possible?} dormancy and faking/feelings of faking

So around the beginning of the month, I started suspecting that I was a system. At first, I just thought I was faking it, and was simply kinning my fictives heavily. Part of the reason I thought this was because 1) I have a very active and vivid imagination; I had an entire AU going on at one point, and 2) I have a tendency to get attatched to characters, then kin them, then project onto them like a motherf'er. I didn't hear anyone at the time, either. I was also having a gender crisis. Then it happened. Next thing I know I'm hearing voices and picturing my ‘members’ just walking around.

Within a week or so, about 4 of them just disappeared. Went ghost. Couldn't hear them, couldn't see them, they were just gone. I presumed they just went dormant. And yes, they are still ghost. Around the same time is when I thought I could feel some unknown member co fronting randomly. It just felt like someone was in the passenger seat of a car with 7 other people in the back. I also started developing some communication with everyone else via one of those fake texting story apps. I could hear them, I could perfectly visualize them and our ‘headspace’ {Which is just a blank void}, and I was talking with them. Nobody's ever been front except me {I think?}, but they exist. Sometimes. There are times when they're running around like rabid monkeys or helping me decide whether or not to go another night without sleep, and then there times where my head feels empty. Just hollow, like there's nobody else there.

Sometimes I still think I'm faking it due to my absurdly detailed imagination. But I will say-I've felt weird when suddenly being referred to with feminine pronouns as a whole, but I feel better when referring to myself with feminine pronouns separately from everyone else, and they also have different genders and sexualities, and it makes me feel better than labeling myself collectively, if that makes sense. I've already dragged out my whole life story, and I don't want to take up anymore of your time, so I'll get to what I came here for.

A new member popped up recently, she's a fictive from a song, and I have no idea where they came from. All I know is she just...Appeared. Didn't even say hello, just popped up. Are there reasons for any kind of alter to just appear out of thin air with no apparent cause or origin? Also, can someone's overactive imagination play a part in having a system somehow {Aside from headspace visualization}?

{Sorry this was so long :[ }

Hi! So we feel like having an active imagination can play a big part in being plural, if that’s how you choose to identify! There is a term - imagian - that describes headmates who are imaginary friends! Maybe this describes you and your potential system?

We will say that if you don’t suspect a dissociative disorder, then “alter” is not the right term to use. The term “alter” refers to an altered self-state or altered personality state, and is a clinical term meant to describe specifically parts of a system with a dissociative disorder like DID and OSDD.

If you’re questioning plurality at all, we always suggest ruling out trauma as a potential origin before considering anything else. We have some resources in our master post, which I’ll link below, that may help you learn more about dissociative disorders, how they manifest, and if you might have one.

In dissociative disorders, no, alters don’t really just “appear out of nowhere.” They split due to trauma, and function primarily by holding onto traumatic memories. Sometimes an alter may come forward during times of peace and safety, but they usually didn’t split right then - they just made themselves known after a long time in hiding.

But for other kinds of plurality, headmates sure can simply appear! Whether walk-ins, imaginary friends, or headmates with other labels or origins, lots of systems have headmates who simply joined their system with no easily discernible cause. And having an active imagination sounds like it could be a huge contributing factor for having a system of imagian headmates!

If you’ve only been suspecting you might be a system for around a month, it may take some more time before you figure out a solid answer. We can’t confirm or deny your plurality - that’s something only you can do! Please don’t rush this process; patience is really important when it comes to questioning something major like multiplicity! Take your time, do lots of research, and don’t jump to conclusions before you’re ready!

We hope this helps! Best of luck to you on your journey!

🌸 Margo and 💫 Parker

#imagian #questioning system #active imagination

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verymuchablog42 · 1 year

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Robin for the ask game!

ooo, one of my faves, yay!!

1. What do you like the most about them? this one is tough because there's so much i like about robin. i love how witty she is, but her snarkiness is balanced out by her moments of being earnestly tender and caring for her friends. i think her gay little salute is one of my favorite quirks she has, idk, i just love it

2. What's their sexuality? lesbian, obviously. honestly, seeing her coming out scene meant so much to me. that she could be such an interesting, well written character who was loved and also be a lesbian meant a lot to me.

3. Otp ship: Ronance. I feel like robin and nancy just *fit* well together. i've seen post after post about how robin is everything jonathan and steve haven't been for nancy and i LOVE those posts, i go feral for them. however, i feel like nancy is really good for robin, too. she doesn't get put off by robin's "hyperness" the way other characters (even steve) have been and i think nancy is one of the few people in hawkins that robin could have a serious connection with. they're both so intelligent and caring and i really do think the two of them would make an excellent couple. also their chemistry together is off the fucking charts

4. Notp ship: any time she's shipped with a man. i don't get why people insist on doing that. also, it's not necessarily a notp for me, but i don't really get rockie. vickie would need to be really fleshed out well and not just a copy of robin in season five for me to be truly happy with them ending up together

5. Favourite friendship: Steve Harrington :) stobin is so special to me in a way i cannot quite describe. i love their energy and the way they play off one another. they remind me a lot of my relationship with my best friend or with my brother. idk, i just think they're neat.

6. Would you date them? yeah. robin has a certain kind of charm and also seems like the type of person i could have a conversation with, you feel? like, we could spend time together and it would still be enjoyable and interesting. (i answered these out of order, but question 13 goes more into this, too)

7. If you were them for a day what would you do? hopefully not be fighting monsters lol. i think if i were robin for a day, i'd probably want to hang out with steve. i know her characterization tends to be overshadowed by her relationship with steve (ppl like to boil her down to steve's best friend and leave it at that), which i hate, but i genuinely do love the dynamic steve and robin have. i love seeing strong, supportive platonic relationships that are the, like, anchor for both characters. it's very special to me.

8. If you could change something about them what would it be? i would give her more screen time. that's honestly it. i think robin is played very well in the show, i love the way she's written. the only thing i'd change would to have her be in the show even more.

9. How do you think they smell like? i feel like robin smells warm, if that makes sense? maybe smokey, whiskey, that type of thing? or old paper. idk, i haven't really thought about it lol

10. If you had the chance to ask them only one question what would it be? i would ask robin what she thinks about life, like, in general. i feel like she would have some really good wisdom to give.

11. Do you think you have something in common with them? other than being gay? she seems like a big reader. one of her biggest supporters in hs was her english teacher (i was lucky to have a pretty big system of friends, but i did spend a lot of lunches with my favorite teacher). my go to when i'm getting to know people is to be either really awkward or sarcastic and snarky.

12. Do you ever wanted to slap them? Why? when she was suggesting steve and nancy get back together. girl, that is not a good option for anyone. i feel like robin being the one to initiate that conversation was really weird. especially since (in my personal opinion) you shouldn't be pushing your bestie to get back with his ex. there's a reason they broke up, even if they've both changed, that doesn't mean they're suddenly right for each other.

13. What would you do if they kiss you? what if i plead the fifth on this one?? i would definitely kiss her back. the reason i started watching stranger things was because my mom said (pretty much word for word) "there's a gay character that comes in about half way through and she is exactly your type. she's smart and witty and just matches your vibe exactly. you're going to be obsessed." and my mom was SO RIGHT, big shout out to her for looking out for me lol

again, thank you so much for the ask, i love talking abt my blorbos :)

#robin buckley #ask game #asks #esme asks #stranger things #maddie rants about her blorbos

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theglassdragoncollective · 2 years

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1, 22, 38, 39 -jekyll

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Although we know we'll have to change it if we ever submit things formally, we do like to play around with fonts and keep different fonts for different projects. It's a great tone setter for us. We even did do a project in Times New Roman, so that font is actually established as the "Believe" font. In the past, we've even done different fonts and colors for different POV characters.

Our current project "Under Elves" is in Bell MT.

First project we ever wrote - "Marked Ones" - (which was originally completely handwritten) used High Tower but completely in Italics for the main character (we would un-italicize things for emphasis, so that was a choice), and the secondary main character full on used Jokerman. We also would change font to Matura MT for when the characters were reciting magic, and the Old English font for any written script in text (mostly book excerpts in book).

Was this basically illegible? Yes, but it was fun at the time, and it definitely set a tone.

No regrets honestly.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

We do like having notes documents, with the "Header" function being one of mankind's greatest achievements. However things get messy just from the fact that SO many people in the system write. We also tend to organize by characters and not by plot or other story elements.

Example of our organization via heading sidebar:

[Image description: Picture of heading sidebar on a Word Doc with the overarching heading labeled "Lilly Kytchnne" followed by lower tiered headings that are almost exclusively character relationships. End ID]

(Tinder Profile is miscellaneous character info)

One of our favorite moments was when our outerworld writing partner was looking over one of our notes docs and made an inquiry,

"So where's the plot section?"

To which we realized we had none.

(We do have a plot this time, we just don't have a designated plot section)

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

Our currently writing process is incredibly neurodivergent and not practical at all. Would not recommend if you aren't already there.

But we've essentially zero drafted our last three projects by writing several hundred thousand word note documents, so the book practically puts itself together.

Although because of our organization, it's organized by character and not chronologically.

Under Elves: Notes Edition is 700k

Send help.

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

It's our coping mechanism.

But besides that, we try to keep writing exciting for us, so if something's not working, we jump to another point, we give ourselves angles to work with. We let ourselves pause and go back and read our favorite things we've written/something we've felt passionate about.

We also do what we've dubbed "encouragement drafts" with our writing partner, so when we want someone to hype us up, we send over whatever we're working on with the express note of "no/little critique, tell me what you enjoy."

Which is super nice to do with an established writing buddy.

Whelp thanks for reading, hope y'all had fun.

-James/Chrellys/Telmar

#writing ask game #ask game #writing #long post

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spook-e-snail · 8 months

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hey so I've been going through your self ship tag and I'm genuinely curious, what's your dynamic like with Cassandra? Like is there a backstory between you two or is it like an unspecified thing?

I've actually never thought about how to describe the dynamic with words weirdly enough? Like I'm not sure if cringe fail husband and equally cringe fail girl boss wife is the best way to explain it. Like they kinda feel like they're the only ones who get each other in a way? Its hard to describe but just trust me bro 👍

Putting this all under a read-more because its long as fuck lmao. But yes! I do have a backstory :))

So! I actually have a few different concepts for my backstories! The main plot I actually have a(n unfinished) fic for!

The basic idea is my insert (Kurt) moves to a new town a few years after the events of PS. The plot roughly follows the love conquers all route. Like Pico was able to talk Cassandra and her gang out of their initial plan but you can tell she's like one mild inconvenience away from doing it all again. Everyone is alive albeit mildly unhinged.

Back when I was first introduced to PS I actually had a dream Cassandra hit me with a car so I kinda wrote that into the self ship lore. Sounds weird but trust me I make it work

She hits him with a car (that isn't hers). She learns they have a lot im common, they become friends, she realizes she likes the little emo bastard, she lets him know she's an alien and he's chill about it, they kiss, pretty typical stuff tbh.

Now while my insert's plot doesn't follow the main ps timeline I fucking love the angst some of these ideas have. I also wanted to make a chart to make it somewhat more easy to follow.

(ignore the first part of the chart I fucked up the bubbles are supposed to say before/after not yes/no)

The plot where they don't meet is obviously kinda boring so I'll talk about it first to get it out of the way. She's dead. He doesn't meet the iconic goth alien. They don't smooch. The end. (Tbh if I ever start self shipping with any other PS/PS adjacent characters I feel like this would be where my insert goes off and smooches some other characters)

I feel like the "fine red mist" ending would be closest to the game? Like the death part anyways.

In both of the non boring original timeline endings Cassandra is very dishonest about what it is she's doing. She realizes Kurt fucking despises how flawed the American education system is and has a general hatred for authority figures and makes her plan seem less like a massacre and more like a really big protest. He isn't given a gun or anything but he is the one who was told to chain the doors shut

As the name implies, Kurt in fact does get blown up in this ending. Again this ending plays out the most like the games. She doesn't shoot Kurt like she does Spike and Pierre but he does still end up dying whenever the back wall collapses in a very bloody cartoonish fashion. Pico ends up killing Cassandra and saves the day. The end :))

Anyways the partners in crime ending is a bit less developed you could say? Like Cassandra does still flat out lie about her intentions with the school and acts very recklessly with the lives of the rest of the goths, but instead twords the end she's like "Erm actually fuck this I'm getting out of here," and basically takes Kurt and goes into hiding right before they are killed in the final boss fight. But weirdly enough Kurt is fine with all of this and just kinda goes along with it. They run from the law and r fucked up evil cycle paths together 💔💔💔. The end.

There's definitely some holes but that's the basic idea plus some extra plot stuff!!

#self ship #self insert #🖤🍎🕷️

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poof346 · 1 year

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Mario + Rabbids: Sparks of Hope: A Bright Beacon of Fun

So, happy belated MAR10 Day! I got Sparks of Hope on a trip to the supermarket and am writing this right after a 100% playthrough.

It's probably not a wild take for me to say that I had really been missing quality, fun new Mario RPGs. Mario & Luigi games are seemingly on hold since Alphadream went bankrupt and Paper Mario is in a weird transitional period of trying to remove the RPG elements it once had. What I certainly DIDN'T expect to be picking up the slack was the result of a collaboration between Nintendo and Ubisoft, the Mario + Rabbids games. And, well, can you blame me? Even now, the concept is still weird to me, but I found Kingdom Battle to be a surprisingly fun, beginner-friendly tactical RPG.

At least knowing I liked the first game gave me better expectations going in, and they were...exceeded! I had a REALLY great time, this improved on the first game in pretty much every way. The environments are more interesting, varied, colorful and detailed. Those aforementioned environments are also designed more like traditional RPG maps, complete with: NPCs, shops, enemy encounters, puzzles, sidequests and dungeons. Not incredibly intricate worlds, but filled with enough charm and personality to remain memorable. Some highlights include a verdant garden with a railroad of vines connecting to an aquatic volcano and the ruins of a futuristic city buried within the rocky canyons.

And once you enter the actual battles, they're fun, just like before. There have been some big tweaks to the system however, most apparent being the increased freedom of movement on the player phase. While a grid is still used to determine the range, you have 360° of movement and can continue to move the selected character until they use their weapon. This allows much more strategy with usage of skills, such as grouping together for healing from Rabbid Peach and still being able to move everyone towards objectives. I guess my only complaint is that this new system makes the main story quite a bit easier than Kingdom Battle? I had to play with the enemies on the hardest difficulty to get a comparable level of challenge, even Average feels too easy. Difficulty isn't the end of the world though, I'd say the battles remained fun for most of the game and introduced new mechanics regularly to shake things up.

...Unfortunately, I do mean MOST. I decided to go for 100% completion on my first run, and just gonna put it bluntly: I wouldn't recommend you do this, going for 100% completion means you have to fight the giant enemy variants, which are horribly sluggish. They have enormous health pools but their strategies don't evolve as the fights progress, they're just drawn out damage sponges. The rewards are Golden Skill Spheres, which are used for Spark-related upgrades for your characters, not worth it, I beat the whole game without using any of those upgrades. That said, however, the other upgrades are something I quite enjoyed for the way they open up specializing characters into specific roles.

I doubled down on Luigi's mobility and sniping skills to make him excellent at controlling space from a distance, focused Rabbid Peach into healing and self-sustaining, and made Rabbid Mario fully a tank with high damage and high HP for example. Plenty of options are opened up to those willing to experiment, especially since you're allowed to redistribute Skill Spheres at any time if you don't like how you've allocated them. It's a very natural evolution of the system present in Kingdom Battle, and that's how I'd describe Sparks of Hope as a whole.

The game is a very natural evolution from its predecessor in many ways, including ways I didn't expect. 100% completion might not have been the best idea for a first run, but I still enjoyed my time regardless and would recommend it pretty easily. And hopefully, I'll make posts here more frequently, sorry about the wait.

#mario #sparks of hope #rabbids

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mbti-notes · 3 years

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hi i’m an istj. i fear the problem im going to describe is resolved by being more Te proactive and taking on more leader responsibilities and failing. just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable. anyway i get involved with groups that align with my values to get things done but it always feels like i somehow join things that aren’t as efficient as i’d want them to be or stagnate. at the same time that i have strong opinions about what to do i resent having to take on more responsibility to enact it. i want to be part of an established, moral, process/group but it seems like everything is in flux all the time. just making sure: is this Te-Ne dysfunction ?

Your question is about type development. An important aspect of type development is understanding the weaknesses and flaws of your type, in terms of the ways that your type tends to misuse functions. You seem to believe that your problem boils down to a simple lack of desire to lead in group situations (weak Te?), but it probably goes far deeper than that.

Si-Ne problems often manifest as a general aversion to change, specifically, unwillingness to change how one looks at a situation, which would then significantly alter one's approach to it. Imbalance between Si and Ne becomes a very unhealthy stubbornness when one is also prone to Si-Fi loop that thinks in terms of pure absolutes. In essence, you believe what you believe and you want what you want, and nothing and nobody can break through that mental wall. Perhaps not even you.

Auxiliary development is meant to help with Si extremes and Si-Fi loop stubbornness by making you care more about empirical facts (Te) than your frustration (Fi). It isn't always easy to develop the auxiliary function when you come to believe that it interferes with what makes Si feel most comfortable (e.g. "just typing that out makes me feel burned out and miserable"). If using the auxiliary function feels so "tiring", it doesn't mean that you should avoid using it. Quite the contrary. It's an indication that you haven't yet learned to use it properly, which means further development is necessary.

Te wants efficiency, that much is true. However, what separates immature Te from mature Te is how exactly one conceptualizes "efficiency". When Te is immature, one has a very rudimentary understanding of how to be efficient. For example, one is likely to believe that efficiency is achieved through assertiveness or even brute force, i.e., "making" things happen despite all the obstacles in the way. Is it any wonder that using Te feels tiring, then? You're essentially forcing yourself to swim against the current. Si doms are painfully aware that their energy is finite, so they quickly run out of steam.

However, Te isn't really about mustering up energy. This is not what makes TJs smart, strong, and formidable. Mature Te conceptualizes efficiency as reducing the amount of energy required whenever possible, which is why they have a lot of energy to take on very heavy workloads - some people call it "working smart". This is done through facing the empirical facts of a situation head on and learning to work closely with them, which makes it far easier to make them work in your favor.

Your problem requires a two pronged attack:

Are you able to change how you look at situations in order to improve your approach (to address Si-Ne imbalance)?

Are you able to face the empirical facts of the situation and work with them rather than against them (to develop better use of Te)?

Wanting to be part of a process/group that aligns with your values in order to enact some good in the world is an admirable thing to strive for. Presumably, the other people involved in the group have the same sense of mission, otherwise, they wouldn't have joined. However, what you fail to take into account is that people aren't generally single-minded.

Human beings are complex because they are motivated by a multitude of factors, whether they realize it or not. They are full of psychological conflicts, contradictory desires, irrational impulses, old baggage, and unconscious bad habits. And when you bring people together, all that stuff comes out and creates complicated entanglements. A "group" only becomes a "team" when it is able to overcome those psychological obstacles together, and it can be a very long process of learning how to maximize strengths and mitigate weaknesses in every individual member. That's why a lot of groups simply fall apart. While your intention to join the group seems simple and straightforward (because Si-Te is admirable in its ability to keep things simple and straightforward), other people's intentions might not be so simple. If you fail to take into account the irrational aspects of human nature, you will cause yourself needless suffering.

Your frustration with people is likely a manifestation of your unrealistic expectations of them. Perhaps you aren't able to understand people who don't resemble you, let alone work with them. And you will certainly be doomed to fail if the only way Te knows to deal with individual differences is to force everyone to become more like you. That's an impossible task, not because it requires the energy of a thousand suns as you assume, but because you're choosing to fight against reality. Mature Te would advise that you should first face down the empirical facts of how people operate if you hope to discover the most effective way to influence them. Your repeated experience of feeling disenchanted with groups tells you that you're missing an important piece of knowledge about groups and how they operate.

I'll give you a very simple example from my own life. I used to gather with a group of 30-50 people once a week to conduct planned discussions. The discussions never really started on time despite everyone being in their seats because people weren't focused enough at the start of the session. There was often whispering and sidetalking and such that would go on for about half an hour before the room felt settled and focused.

One method of addressing the problem arose organically. Whoever was the main speaker simply started shushing people and it became a thing. Sometimes, it would even escalate to calling people out, like a teacher scolding a student in a classroom. This definitely made the social atmosphere less inviting and more tense. Sure, people would shut up after being called out, but they became less focused due to seething with resentment. Power struggles aren't great for group morale, especially if it's supposed to be a group of equals coming together for a common cause.

It all sounds quite childish, but these kinds of judgments are useless. You can call people childish, inefficient, incompetent, etc etc, but it doesn't solve the problem. And, worse, being judgmental blocks you from understanding people better and working with them. Perhaps an ISTJ would see this as a "mess", an "inefficiency" that wastes time, and evidence of bad character when people break the rules.

However, if you change the way you look at the situation, you might not be so quick to make such judgments. Actually, it's kind of weird for a bunch of people who know each other well to enter a room and immediately sit down quietly. Humans have a natural tendency to socialize as a way to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Isn't group cohesiveness a good thing, since it encourages better cooperation? If you are able to see the benefits of their chatty behavior and how it contributes to group cohesiveness, then instead of fighting against it, you would think of ways to harness it.

The real problem wasn't inefficiency; inefficiency was merely the symptom. The more primary problem was that a lot of people joined the group not just to "get things done", but also to make friends. The structure of the event denied them from fulfilling that important need and then they were more likely to act out. This problem was discovered when people had a chance to talk about what was frustrating them, which meant that the group had to make space to conduct some uncomfortable conversations.

To address the problem, the group eventually decided that the first 15 minutes would be devoted to socializing and allowing people to catch up, with the explicit promise to get down to business when the time was up. Some people brought drinks, others brought snacks. Some even showed up early to have more time to socialize. It enlivened people and enriched their relationships. Being "officially" allowed to get the chattiness out of their system, they were better able to sit down and focus on the planned agenda. The meeting felt like fun rather than a chore. And if you're interested in a cause, don't you want to recruit more people to support it? Making things more fun is one good way to attract support. You can look at it as wasting 15 minutes OR you can look at it as a 15 minute investment.

Solutions to human problems require:

cognitive empathy: figuring out what's really going on inside people's heads (in Te terms it means working only with the empirical facts of the situation, rather than indulging negative Fi judgments)

strategy: taking the time to work with people and figuring out the best way to help them get over obstacles (in Te terms it means investing energy early and wisely to maximize your returns later, rather than putting effort into the wrong places or only stepping in to tackle mere symptoms of the problem)

creativity: harnessing natural human tendencies to produce something useful or worthwhile (in Te terms in means taking what's already there and transforming it into a NET positive, rather than getting too fixated on every little negative detail and losing sight of the bigger picture)

Te can be a great function for dealing with human problems as long as you overcome the immature aspects of it, such as impatience, bluntness, or inflexibility. Every person is unique, so every group is different. Let go of the idea that there is only one way to approach a problem/conflict and you will start to be more creative in your approach. By accepting the fact that things are always in flux and using empirical evidence to understand and predict how change works, TJs become much more effective and efficient at everything they do. When it comes to people, meeting someone different from you is an opportunity to learn how to deal with that kind of person. The more knowledge you have of human psychology under your belt, the better you get at dealing with people's weird or negative tendencies. If a strategy works, use it again. If it doesn't work, adjust it to fit their psychology better.

In your situation, you see the problem as people being inefficient, so your inclination is to step forward and do something to "make" them more efficient. Humans aren't built with the prime directive to be efficient. They're not machines. Their psychology is messy, so trying to force them to behave like a machine is to force them to go against their psychology. In other words, you're choosing the least efficient approach. The more efficient approach, though it requires more intelligent thinking on your part (you want to become more intelligent, right?), is to properly understand the more primary problem of what's really causing them to be so inefficient in the first place. That is the way to discover the right strategy. If you are able to target those obstacles at the very root, efficiency improves more naturally.

Oftentimes, working smart doesn't require you to step up and be THE leader for everyone. As an introvert, it's probably more comfortable for you to work behind the scenes to talk to people, get a better idea of what they need and/or what problems they're experiencing, and incrementally remove the obstacles that are preventing them from focusing on what they should be focused on. You can't fix everything all at once, so just do what you can to fix what you are able to fix at any given point in time. It's a process and some progress is better than no progress.

#istj #auxiliary te #fi loop #inferior ne #te #efficiency #problem solving #working smart #creativity #change #perspective #social skills #ask

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yuta-nakamots · 3 years

Text

only human - d.sc

Pairing - Boyfriend!Sicheng x Fem!Reader

Genre - Angst, Smut, Fluff, Established Relationship!AU

Warnings - implied character death, description of having a stroke, unprotected sex, creampie, cock warming

Summary - You dream about Sicheng all the time and love telling him about them when you wake up. But this one, you hope to never see again even if it did give you a happy ending.

Word Count - 2.1k

A/N - I really did dream this about Sicheng but without the smut lmao I was so freaked out when it was happening

Written for the Dreams Unfold Event hosted by @neosmutcollective. Check out the masterlist here.

You were driving on the freeway to a destination unknown, accompanied by your boyfriend Sicheng and his close friend Lucas. The reason why Lucas was with you was also unknown. There were hardly any other cars on the road, your headlights casting a desolate glow in front of you.

It was almost completely silent aside from the quiet lo-fi music that Lucas was playing through the sound system until suddenly from beside you, “where is my arm?” Sicheng muttered. You paid it no thought, thinking he was just drowsy from sleep. “How is the road?” His voice rose at the end, as if he didn’t know what the word ‘road’ meant.

“It’s good babe, it’s not too bumpy or anything,” you answered, playing along with whatever charade he was putting on.

“My head...hurts,” he groaned, “and we spin?” At this rate you were getting really concerned. Looking over at him, his face was contorted in pain as he was curled against the door, showing that he wasn’t just spouting nonsense.

“Lucas,” you whispered, checking into the rear-view mirror for him, “call the ambulance,” you ask of him once you see that he’s awake. He did what he was told as you pulled over to the shoulder of the road. “Give me the phone,” you commanded anxiously, which Lucas gladly obliged to, probably because he had no idea what to say anyways.

“911, what’s your emergency?” The operator began.

Your focus was on Sicheng again as you tried to describe his state. “Hi, I was driving on the I-205 and my boyfriend began saying weird things and saying his head hurts and something is spinning.”

There was a slight pause as the operator took note of the situation. “Ma’am, did he mentioned anything else.”

You knew he had said other things but couldn’t remember exactly what they were. You watched as his right hand flew to his left bicep before he whimpered pathetically, “arm gone.”

“He keeps saying that his arm is gone, but it’s clearly not.” You relayed.

“And these statements, are they in full, coherent sentences?” The operator asked.

“No, not really.”

“Ma’am I believe he is having a stroke. Please give me an address or approximate area so I can send an ambulance your way.”

“Uh, we just passed exit 288 I believe, we’re pulled over on the right hand side of the road on the I-205.”

“Alright thank you, medical support will be there soon. Please stay on the line with me until they arrive.” You nodded as if they could see you. “Where were you traveling to?”

“I-I don’t really know…”

“Uh-huh,” the operator acknowledged as if you had said a real location, “and who are you traveling with?”

“It’s me, my boyfriend, and our close friend.”

“May I ask for all your names and your phone number?”

By the time you had given the operator all the information, you could already see the flashing lights of the ambulance as it approached. “I think I see the ambulance.”

“Alright ma’am, thank you for your cooperation and I wish you the best.” With that the line went dead. How odd.

You stepped out of the car and motioned for Lucas to do the same. As the paramedics came to greet you with a stretcher, you led them to the passenger door, opening it as gently as possible so Sicheng wouldn’t fall out. He kept moaning and muttering things incoherently though he was clearly in even more pain and was more confused than before as the paramedics situated him onto the stretcher.

You and Lucas followed them as they loaded him onto the ambulance and allowed them to do their job. They were hooking him up to machines to take his vitals and you must’ve looked awfully distraught for Lucas to speak up. “He’ll be okay, you know.”

“How do you know that?” You question.

Lucas shrugged, “I don’t know for sure but it’s better than saying he won’t be okay, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you sighed apprehensively, “I guess.”

There was a commotion coming from inside the ambulance and you saw them beginning to do CPR on Sicheng and his heart rate flat-lined. Something about this didn’t seem quite right. If he is experiencing a stroke, why would they be doing compressions? As far as you knew, a stroke dealt with the brain while CPR was meant for the heart. And weren’t they supposed to be doing all this on the way to the hospital?

After what seemed like only a few seconds, the paramedics stopped assisting him and their leader came up to you, “he is dead but we will take him to the hospital for clearance.”

“W-what?!” You exclaimed as the paramedic walked away. Lucas had to hold you back from going after them and only released you once the ambulance started to pull away. “He’s dead? He can’t be, there’s no way! I swear humans can survive a few minutes without a pulse...they didn’t even try to restart it with the AED!”

As you stormed over to get into your car and follow the ambulance, Lucas held you once again, bringing you into a hug. “Y/n, it’s okay,” he whispered, grasping onto you firmly, the rumble of his voice spreading through you.

“But Sicheng isn’t okay! You can’t just let him go like that!”

“It’s okay,” Lucas repeated, though this time you felt his grasp on your arm get tighter and almost as if he was shaking you. “It’s okay,” he said once more, “y/n, wake up,” he pleaded. Though the voice wasn’t his, it was Sicheng’s.

“Wake up,” you heard once more and you felt your realities shift as your eyes sprung open staring straight into Sicheng’s from where he laid next to you, your limbs flailing at your sudden consciousness. “Hey, calm down, it’s just a dream,” he told you, one of his hands coming to rest on your cheek.

“It was- You were- Th-they said you were dead! You had a stroke and died but they didn’t even help you!” You spewed.

“Baby, it’s okay, I’m right here,” Sicheng assured you, “look, we’re in our room, in our bed, and it’s 4am in the morning.” He could tell you still didn’t believe him entirely. “We are not in a hospital, trust me. This is our apartment, the one we bought together last year.”

As your sense started to return to normal, your brain finally wrapped itself around the situation and you swung a leg over Sicheng, straddling him before leaning down and kissing him. “I though you were gone,” you confessed, tears welling up in your eyes at the thought of losing him.

“I’m right here,” he promised between kisses, “I’m not going anywhere.”

You basked in the feeling of his lips on yours, your tongues entertwining as Sicheng deepened the kiss. He wrapped an arm around your waist before sitting up, both of your torsos pressed tightly together. As you settled back into his lap, you felt something poking into your thigh. You broke the kiss to look down and saw the clear bulge in his athletic shorts, confirming your suspicions. “Dong Sicheng, I can’t believe you’re hard right now, at this very moment.” He pursed his lips, his eyes going wide as they bore into yours, waiting for your next move. “I had a nightmare that you died and you’re turned on by that?”

“No no, I’m not turned on by that-”

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know,” his hands flew up in exasperation, “I just woke up from you tossing and turning and it was like this.”

Resting your arms around his shoulders and bringing your forehead to his, you brought your bodies impossibly closer while ever so slightly shifting around in his lap to tease him. “I don’t believe you,” you told him with a smirk.

“Well are you going to help me or not?” He nearly pleaded, his hips pushing up against yours.

You snuck a hand past the waistband of his shorts, unsurprised at his lack of underwear. “I guess I have to,” you complied, grabbing ahold of his warm and pulsing length. You began pumping a hand up and down his cock, causing his head to fall to the crook of your neck. Sicheng left messy kisses across the expanse of your neck, and exposed collar, his hands going up your shirt to gently cup your breasts until he decided his was tired of it and began puling your shirt off.

The second it was off past your chest, Sicheng’s lips were already on you, covering the untouched areas of your chest, latching onto a nipple while his hand played with the other. You cradled his head almost as if he were a baby, with both of your hands getting lost in his soft brown hair. You let him suck and fondle at your breasts for a little while longer until the ache in your core grew to be too much.

After sliding your bottoms and near-soaked underwear off, you repositioned yourself above the head of his cock, using a hand to help guide his member into you. As you lowered yourself onto his length, Sicheng busied himself with kissing along your jaw, his hands moving to hold your hips once you were fully seated in his lap. Ever so slowly, you let yourself rise and fall on his cock, making him moan and lean backwards against the headboard of the bed.

Placing your hands on his broad chest, you used it to gain leverage as you began bouncing on his dick. Sicheng looked so pretty beneath you, his cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, his lips plump and slick, his skin covered in the slightest sheen of sweat. You continued your movements until you felt your legs growing tired, opting instead to draw mindless shapes in his lap. You relished in the way his slick member slid in and out of you, feeling so good when it stretched you out.

This tempo wasn’t all to Sicheng’s liking though, but he took matters into his own hands, his arms coming up from behind you, his fingers gripping onto your shoulders as he rolled the two of you over and began rocking his hips into yours. You wrapped your legs around him, allowing him to push deeper into you as he gradually started to go at a steady pace.

He let go of your frame in exchange for planting his forearms on either side of your head so he could watch your expressions as he got high off of his cock. Your eyes closed at the feeling of overwhelming pleasure when he hit the deeper parts of you, filling you up ever so perfectly. “Yes, just like that,” you told him as your walls were clenched around him, so soft and warm whenever he thrusted into you.

Sicheng started to let out little whimpers as he continued thrusting, a sign that he was getting close. You reached a hand down to stimulate your clit, wanting to come with him while he moved to sit back on his knees, pulling your body further down the bed. In this position, he began drilling into you as he desperately chased his high. “Let me do it,” he breathed when he saw your hand between your legs. He pushed it away and quickly replaced it with his own, his thumb drawing circles onto your clit.

You heard his breath hitch and felt his hips stutter as his length twitched inside of you. Sicheng pushed himself to be fully connected with you as he released in your walls, shallowly thrusting as if to milk his own dick, “I love you,” you quietly blurted. The feeling of his hot cum spreading in your core brought you to your own orgasm, your muscles fluttering and spasming around him. Sicheng held you as you powered through your own release on his member, not wanting to lose the feeling of warmth around him just yet.

“Fuck, I love you too,” you answered as you started coming down off your high. You could feel the mix of your juices start to spill out when Sicheng set your hip back down onto the bed and moved to lie on top of you. His cock was softening inside of you but you didn’t mind it all that much since you were already on you way to sleep again though hopefully with a more pleasant dream this time.

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roseluwakcoffee · 3 years

Text

Celestia Ludenberg Analysis post but it’s way too in-depth

Good evening all I am finally making a Celestia Ludenberg analysis post because I think way too much about her as a character so let’s go! It’s long but it’s in sections.

And just in case! Spoilers for dr1 and sdr2

Behavior

Inconsistency I think is an important part of her character, and shows in her behavior throughout the game. Many things she says and does betrays how she presents herself. A lot of this comes from free time events and school mode interactions.

Unfortunately there isn’t much to go off of, but here’s some of the basic facts that I’m drawing my conclusions from:

Manga. In multiple free time events, Celestia talks about stories about her gambling. This isn’t an obvious fact, but the characters she describes are somewhat obscure references to actual gambling manga.

Gyoza. In an event in which she talks about her hometown, she reveals that she likes gyoza. She specifically calls them awful and crude, but admits that she enjoys them nonetheless. She makes a pointed fact that she generally prefers to eat or drink things that are more fancy and high-class, the exact opposite gyoza, which is an extremely common food in her hometown.

Utsunomiya. She also specifically mentions she comes from Utsunomiya, which is the capital of the Tochigi prefecture in Japan. The city is legitimately actually known for it’s gyoza, and is notably a pretty large city.

Trigger Happy Heart Event. In her trigger happy heart event in school mode, her main concern is whether or not Makoto finds her weird, and if he would be willing to stay at her side.

Final Free Time Event. In her final free time event, she invites Makoto to her dorm to tell him she’s pregnant. But that’s just a bad joke, in reality she explains to him a ranking system she had for people and that he’s moved up a rank, and should take her up on her offer to make him one of her knights.

Cat. In Ultra Despair Girls she is revealed to have a cat named Grand Bois Chéri Ludenberg. He is the captive in her motive for the first chapter, implying that he’s the most important person to her, and is also very cute.

I feel these facts make sense together when you think about her behavior in her trial. More than anything else, she is incredibly adamant about not revealing her name. While this is definitely because it would fully incriminate her if they found out her name was Yasuhiro, she deflects the argument by stating Yasuhiro is a loser’s name. She also completely refuses to acknowledge the idea of it being anything else outside of the trial. What best drives home the reasoning behind her refusing to accept Taeko Yasuhiro is this panel from the manga:

I think the game attempts to get this across but isn’t as forward as it should be. She attacks just the name Yasuhiro out loud, but really she’s talking about herself. She doesn’t want people to know who she is because she actively dislikes the fact that in reality she is Taeko Yasuhiro, someone she considers mediocre and boring. The point of Celestia Ludenberg is that she can become the complete opposite of that, someone legitimately interesting and unique that people want to pay attention to. This puts all the little facts we know about her into perspective.

She lived in Utsunomiya, which is a big city. If she finds being seen as common and boring a bad thing, likely she was viewed that way. Especially if she was a kid living in the middle of the city, which was highly populated, it would be easy to be ignored and looked past. This also makes sense with the idea of her possibly having actually lived in a poorer environment, seeing as highly populated parts of cities are usually like that, leading to things like gyoza being a favorite of hers.

This can also explain why the facts we do get about her are oddly received; the manga references can only be caught by people who have read those manga (or looked at the wiki), and the gyoza was more of a slip of the tongue, seeing as she just mentions she likes it and admits she will missing being able to have it, before next going and insulting and dismissing it. None of these reveals that contradict the character her persona sets up are obvious or on purpose, and that’s because how adamant she is to not reveal parts of herself that relate more to Taeko.

Along with this, I believe that Celeste was bullied and treated as unimportant by other students. It’s difficult to develop a mindset of feeling painfully average to the point of completely changing yourself without there being any cause. If kids called her a loser and messed with her, leaving her out of things consistently and considering her not interesting to be around, it would make sense why that would make her so adamant about not being herself, since there’s already been a trend throughout her life of people not liking that. That’s why when she thinks of herself in the manga, it’s a kid sitting alone on a swing set. And it seems like underneath that is a backpack that’s been opened and spilled and tossed around, which is usually a sign that someone’s been bullied.

It’s at least clear that she’s somewhat insecure, seeing as her trigger happy heart event revolves around her worrying about Makoto’s perception of her. She wants to tell him that he’s increased in rank, which to me seems like she’s just saying he’s her friend now. But she does realize her ranking system might come off as odd and is worried about it. It definitely is different, but her worry is reminiscent of someone who’s been seen as weird before but not in a positive way, which makes sense especially with manga being her interest. Not to be rude but we can all agree manga/anime fans are weird and don’t deserve rights. (I am one)

And in relation to her ranking system, viewing everyone as a certain rank and promoting people she feels she can somewhat trust puts a distance between her and everyone else around her. It’s definitely a tactic that would make sense if you have trouble trusting and getting close to people, and sort of attempts to create a dynamic that makes her seem important and someone worthy of being acquainted with. She says that it would make Makoto her knight, implying that he would serve her and making it seem like sort of an honor. It would be the best thing to do if she wanted to come off as someone more important than she actually feels she is.

Another important thing is Celestia’s direct behavior with other students, which brings me to my next point!

Relationships/Character Interactions

Celestia’s interactions are interesting because she doesn’t directly talk to people often. She usually comments on the current situation in group settings, where she’s speaking to the whole class and is just bringing up some sort of advice or warning. In general she doesn’t speak as often as some other characters do, and I feel like some of her wording comes off as rehearsed monologues involving very specific information. Examples of this include tangents about: zero-sum games, what an AI is and how it works, why adaptation is crucial to survival, and why pouring the milk in after brewing the tea is awful. What noticeably makes them tangents is that each situation has quite a few windows worth of dialogue, and are mostly unprompted by other characters (besides the milk tea one which was still unnecessarily long). It comes off as her standing there waiting for a chance to establish knowledge and her stance in the situation.

This behavior could easily characterize her as the reserved, calculating, intelligent gambler that she wants to come off as. And that is likely what most people would gather from Celestia Ludenberg at first glance. But it’s when she does interact directly with others that you notice her interesting reactions to people, such as:

Hifumi. The two times she gets incredibly angry outside of trial is with Hifumi—when Celestia asks him to make her tea, and when he presses her about her secret motive in chapter two. In both situations she only snaps at him once he refuses to do what she says. In the first case, it would make sense for her to snap when he doesn’t want to make her tea, because she had already made it a point that she was thirsty and needed tea in front of the rest of the class. If everyone watched her attempt to order someone around and then get rejected, it would hurt the illusion of control she plays herself off as having. It would make her look less intimidating.

Also, once she yells at him, he rushes off and calls himself her piggy, which could be seen as confirming that Celestia successfully established having some control over him. But I don’t think Hifumi thinks he’s beneath her now that she’s asserted dominance; I think he makes it into a joke. If you think about it, he’s a doujin writer, so he could be joking about common master/servant relationships where terms like that are used. Especially with the way Celestia presents herself; gothic-lolita is just a fashion style, but if you saw anyone dressed that way, nine times out of ten they probably have some interest in anime/manga. The trope of a dominant gothic character degrading a lesser character probably came into his mind as soon as she called him a swine, so he played along and made her tea. It does seem like he reacts in fear to the insult, but the tone in the lines seem sort of comical to me, not exactly indicative of someone whose truly scared.

I feel like this can maybe explain the second time Celestia snaps on him too. This time, it’s when he keeps asking her about her secret motive. While they’re in the gym after everyone gets their secret for the second chapter notice, he pokes her about her secret. She politely refuses to reveal it but he continues asking until she snaps and yells at him. Beforehand he hadn’t really interacted much with her at all, so it seems sort of odd for him to be kind of ‘playing around’ with her by pressing her with her motive. He’s seems to be in a joking mood, which is met with anger by Celestia, but I feel like it makes it a little more clear he doesn’t feel entirely beneath her—she’s more like an acquaintance, a friend.

And when you think about the interactions between the two revealed by Celestia during the third trial, she had to give him multiple reasons to help her with her plan. If she really had legitimate control over him, it wouldn’t have taken as much incentive. She is coercing him into committing murder, which is definitely something that would require incentive, but if the tea scene was genuine, she could probably just intimidate him into doing it, instead playing into his emotions towards alter ego. He does react in horror when she tells him that she was blackmailed, but still proclaims that he needs to save alter ego, making it obvious that the computer is his priority in the situation, rather than her safety.

Togami. There is another time where Celestia is directly opposed, but she doesn’t react angrily. It’s not too long after the tea scene, where they talk to Togami in the library. When Togami says he’s having fun with the killing game and everyone reacts in horror, Celestia attempts to cater to his ideas. She takes the time to explain a zero-sum game and his way of thinking. It’s only when she implies that she and Togami are the same in understanding that she’s shut down. He tells her not to ever compare herself to him, and that she should shut her mouth. But when this happens, Celestia apologizes and notably doesn’t say much else for the rest of the conversation. I think she was attempting to put herself on the same level as Togami in front of the rest of the class to establish dominance. Togami had already made it clear he isn’t a person to be messed with in the killing game, and by showing she has similar views it would bolster her intimidation factor.

But he directly insults her to her face and she does nothing. She doesn’t snap or say anything to defend herself even though he talked down to her, challenging her reputation in front of everyone. If she considered herself near the same level of Togami, I feel like she would have no problem with replying and challenging him back. This shows that she was only doing it to establish her place in the killing game. And in not wanting to damage her reputation further by replying, she just pulls back and goes quiet. Much later on she does technically insult Togami by saying his heart is made of stone, but it’s not a direct one and he obviously doesn’t care about what she has to say.

Backstory

This section isn’t fully analysis, but it’s the backstory I headcanon for her, based off of what little canon evidence we have.

So here’s my idea: Celestia became a gambler at a young age—we don’t know how young, but she has likely gambled for a few years, since she’s known notoriously as the Queen of Liars. And when she got to Hope’s Peak, she was probably around 16 years old, like most of the class. This means she would have had to involve herself in underground activities as a middle schooler at the latest. Based off the manga panel from earlier in the post, there was indeed a time where Celestia Ludenberg didn’t exist, and a time where she had been treated and regarded as boring, ‘a person no one would look at.’ At some point she had to create her persona; gambling would be a viable way to receive large amounts of money in a short amount of time, probably allowing her to buy everything she would need to embody Celestia Ludenberg. Especially with it being gothic-lolita, it likely wasn’t cheap.

I think that before or near when she first started gambling, she had an interest in things like anime/manga and the gothic aesthetic. That’s why when she tells Makoto stories about her gambling they’re actual references to gambling manga characters. Realistically, actual stories she would have probably wouldn’t be as exciting, so it would make sense for her to take from things she’s read before instead. And her references are just vague enough to not be caught by anyone who wasn’t actively read those series.

What I’m trying to say is that I’m convinced that Taeko was your typical edgy nerdy kid who sat in the corner of the classroom doodling their favorite characters. If that sort of kid came upon large sums of money from gambling, they would probably look a lot like Celestia. Especially if she was previously used to being seen as uninteresting and being ignored, so much to the point that it made her want to be anyone else, it would just make sense to use it to become what she’s always wanted. Gambling would allow her to have the perfect escape from that constant feeling of mediocrity.

That’s why I feel like Celestia in general is an escapist—she leans so deeply into the persona that she feels like that’s who she should really be. Her refusal to acknowledge Taeko Yasuhiro and her own traits that betray her persona shows that being Celestia is an escape from being herself. She associates her own name with being lame, and boring, and a loser.

And in the 78th Class gym picture, she even gets mistaken for Mukuro by plenty of people (including me the first time) because her persona is such a drastic difference in appearance. And in all the other class pictures, she is fully dressed in her usual outfit. To go to all the effort to hide who she is, from changing her voice to crafting a backstory and fake details about her interests, to maintaining her time-consuming gothic-lolita appearance under most all circumstances isn’t normal behavior. If she’s willing to go that far to hide anything she associates with Taeko, she likely hates who she actually is a lot.

On another note, the fact that her cat is her captive for the first chapter motive is interesting. This really does imply that her cat is the most important person in her life. This could mean that she doesn’t have parents, or maybe doesn’t have many positive feelings towards them. I think she might not have been living with them before she went to Hope’s Peak, and could have been potentially living on her own with her cat. She would likely have the funds to do so. And it would just be a lot harder to gamble underground with proper adult supervision. This could also point to her parents being generally neglectful, which wouldn’t help the feeling of unimportance and would also easier allow her to become a gambler, and spend her time escaping to her interests.

The idea of her living on her own is also relates to my theory that she didn’t attend high school before Hope’s Peak. In the Danganronpa 1.2 Reload Artbook, there’s a section that shows how the pins/badges on the uniforms of Class 77 and 78 are from their previous high schools, and lists all of them. The exceptions are Kyoko, Celestia and Chiaki. Chiaki doesn’t have a school because she’s an AI (before DR3), and Kyoko was homeschooled by her grandfather (edit: actually Kyoko does go to a private school in Danganronpa Kirigiri. I’m assuming they hadn’t written the details of that before the art book was published) Even characters who don’t wear pins/badges still have stated schools. It makes no sense for her to have no mentioned school at all unless they mean to imply she doesn’t have a high school she went to before, which could make sense if she stopped attending school when she was a middle schooler.

Killing Motive

In DR1, Celestia goes out of her way many times to talk about how everyone should just adapt to the situation, even though it’s revealed she wanted out desperately the second she was put in the killing game. With many interactions she actively talks about how she’s starting to get comfortable with their situation (usually whenever they explore a new floor), and tries to pull off being content to almost an excessive degree. I believe this is on purpose; I think she made a point of expressing how it wasn’t a bad situation in attempts to convince herself of that in order to cope with the current circumstance.

I have a theory that Celestia started thinking about escaping the school after the second trial. This has no canon evidence, it’s just purely my thoughts, but Celestia is one of the last people Chihiro talked to before he was killed. I always thought that it would be somewhat disturbing to talk to someone casually in a warehouse and they wind up crucified in the girl’s locker room the next day. It was only the second killing, but at the end it left two people dead, bringing the number of people left down even more. And if you think realistically about it, Celestia is the weakest person in the killing game physically, after Chihiro. That would make her the most vulnerable person there, and seeing as her attempts to establish dominance weren’t quite that effective, it would make her feel more desperate to get out.

Celestia uses escapism to cope with her own existence by leaning into the idea of being someone that’s so much more than herself. By having such a developed persona and attempting to embody it when she presents herself to other people, she doesn’t have to deal with as much of the constant derision she regards Taeko with. I’m sure this hatred amplifies around other people, seeing as she can only prove whether or not she’s truly interesting or unique when people interact with her. And so to not constantly deal with how boring and dull she finds herself and how much she hates it she turns to Celestia. She even admits she believes she can trick her own heart—which as Makoto mentions, that's most likely not true. But it’s what she wishes she can do, which is the core of escapism. She wishes she could delude herself and erase the parts of her she despises completely, but she knows that isn’t possible.

Still, it’s a motivating factor that makes her want not only to escape the school, but also to trick herself into believing in her dream of having a mansion, which might seem a little ridiculous to some people. But to someone who may deal with self-loathing that makes her turn to her persona to exist as, the ideas of that persona are likely the things she leans on to continue having some sort of purpose. Even if in reality she likely wouldn't get a mansion, the motive would allow her to escape, which she honestly seems pretty desperate to do.

In her situation, she was living potentially on her own when scouted by Hope’s Peak. Up until that point she had been gaining notoriety as the Queen of Liars, seeing as she’s well-known by that title by the people on the Hope’s Peak message board before she got to the school. That’s the sort of opportunity anyone would take, and definitely also serves as a sort of validation for her persona. Taeko wouldn’t have been able to be scouted by Hope’s Peak on her own; her unique persona allowed her to make a name for herself in underground gambling that likely attracted the scout’s attention. With that in mind she was probably definitely somewhat excited to attend as her persona and continue developing it.

But then when she got there and she ended up waking up with a group of high schoolers in the boarded up school, having been put in a game in which you have to kill someone to escape, would be incredibly stressful in more ways than one. There’s the potential threat of her true identity being revealed, seeing as the mastermind seems to know a decent amount of personal information about each of the students, along with the threat of being murdered by any of the strangers trapped in there with her. That’s the sort of scenario that she would definitely want to escape from. Especially if she already participates in something as dangerous as illegal gambling, where things such as murder or general danger are probably consistently involved, it doesn’t seem as taboo to legitimately consider murder to escape.

Ramble about psychology of the killing game, just some thoughts feel free to skip it’s literally not that important

I know danganronpa isn’t meant to get this deep but with the psychology of being trapped in a school and a killing game it doesn’t make it too surprising that anyone would feel an irrational desire to kill to get out. The combination of constant danger being other students and the fact that the entire school is boarded up with literally no escape definitely causes a lot of stress and probably cabin fever. There’s a lot of different experiments involving the idea of isolation or feeling trapped, and it can cause people to do immoral things that they never even thought they were capable of (like the Stanford prison experiment). Coupled with the fact that it’s clear from the existence of Celestia’s persona that she’s not all that mentally stable, it makes the idea of killing seem a lot less awful. This definitely isn’t a justification, but the context behind murder in a killing game is a lot different from murder in normal, everyday circumstances.

The killing game itself numbs people to the idea of death. The brain can’t handle the terrible feeling that comes with seeing corpses and class trials and executions without some way to cope, and so as it continues death is going to be rationalized as not so terrible, even though it obviously is. No one subjected to this killing game is in a good mental state because of it, but the nature of Celestia’s mental instability could make her more vulnerable to convincing herself that it’s okay to kill for the sake of escaping. She already tries to cope with her self-hatred by trying to be a completely different person, and when you suffer from that certain decisions seem a lot more black and white than they are. For example, this doesn’t really make a ton of sense but like when you’re constantly desperate to escape yourself it seems like if you don’t do certain things it’ll be over for you. There’s a constant fear of breaking, almost? It’s like thinking if an interaction doesn’t go well or if you don’t do something right you’ll die or something awful will happen. The thoughts are definitely irrational but that’s kind of the point, you’re in the mental state where you can’t handle things getting much worse.

I also think that her motive to get out of the school was a lot more than just money. She says herself that every single day at Hope’s Peak was fresh torture for her, and that she wanted to get out more than anyone else. There can be a number of reasons for this, but I think that in this state of desperation this was her last shot at finally getting away from Taeko. Enough money to grant her a mansion was something that Celestia Ludenberg would want—it would be the final push that would complete her persona. Especially with the situation of the killing game itself, which is extremely stressful for anyone involved. Living in a school with the threat of being killed by anyone, especially being the most physically vulnerable student left, can drive anyone to desperate measures.

The class had been living for at least a week under the constant threat of being murdered by the time of the third trial. They’re also all complete strangers. Regardless of how everyone presents themselves, any person could easily be tricking the class and letting people’s guard down in order to get away with murder. And any number of things could be happening or being planned during the few days of relative peace. On top of this, it becomes apparent that the mastermind knows far more than they should about everyone. They have access to their loved ones, their secrets, and who knows how much more. Celestia expressed that the mastermind was more powerful than anyone expected because of this, which she likely mentioned because she knew that this threatened her being able to hide who she really is. Under that sort of stress, seeing the money motive probably provided that last push to cause her to plan the murders.

And that’s the end of the post! Thank you for reading it.

#text #dr1 #celestia ludenberg #danganronpa #taeko yasuhiro #celestia ludenburg #if there's any formatting i need to change so it's easier to read please let me know #pls enjoy #i swear the celery angst post is coming soon i just had to finish this first #hifumi yamada #byakuya togami

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river-bottom-nightmare · 3 years

Text

Nightwing #81 Review

i swear i actually thought no one was interested so i didn’t write one but a grand total of two (2) people said they wanted to read it, so here it is. honestly, my opinion’s been going a bit downhill, but the art is really cool and there are some decent parts so. holding out i guess? i really hope taylor has an end goal or at least a cohesive plan, otherwise i don’t see this series going anywhere i’ll particularly enjoy

the cover is very straightforward in its imagery, this villain has nightwing in the palm of his hand, easily manipulated, easily controlled no matter the action dick thinks he’ll take.

what i find interesting is the colour: both previously and heavily in this issue, the colourist has chosen to make pink this villain’s main colour, with different shades of pink as accents. so why the red in the cover? possibly to just make it more eye-grabbing, though one could argue that pink is even more eye-catching than red. maybe to convey a sense of dread or fear that pink won’t fully get across. either way, it’s definitely a decision i’m curious about.

so melinda zucco is in a high enough political position within bludhaven that she is next in line to become the mayor after the previous mayor died and dick just,,,,didn’t have any idea she existed? dick didn’t know anything about her? forget dick’s own brilliant detective skills, forget his doggedness at anything zucco related, you’re telling me bruce never found her and told dick about her? maybe he wouldn’t have now, but back when dick was a young kid, he definitely would have at least made dick aware of her existence, to let dick know and ask if he wanted to interfere with her life or anything.

i have a thought about zucco’s facial expressions. she is very much stone-cold poker face throughout the entire issue. the only time i see her pull a different expression is near the end when dick corners her against a wall with an arm around her throat.

this is most certainly intentional, what with the varied and intense expressions we see on other characters, dick most prominently. i’m wondering what exactly is the creative team’s reasoning behind this. in these panels, zucco is meeting with the most dangerous, powerful, near-bloodthirsty man in all of bludhaven and becoming the mayor of the city respectfully. in both of these panels, there is barely a hint of emotion in her face: no fear, no determination, no satisfaction. it’s just odd, considering the circumstances she’s in, regardless of any training recieved.

just spitballing here but. like. from what i’ve read so far, dick doesn’t really seem like bludhaven’s guardian angel. more like when peter parker first put on spandex and blindly stepped out into new york.

dick, how exactly can you underestimate someone from one move. so he caught your escrima. anyone with enhanced reflexes can do that. you still don’t know how he can actually fight, and this is shown in the next set of panels.

i just don’t like the wording here. dick’s “underestimated” him, but beats him up easy in the next page. in addition, i don’t know much about combat, but i would assume it would take more than one move to determine exactly what an opponent’s skill level is, made even more complex when you add physical enhancements and metahumans and aliens into the mixture.

idk my first thought when i saw that he caught the stick was “ah ok he’s enhanced” because obviously he couldn’t have reacted fast enough if he wasn’t (as there are few people trained enough to catch it on human reflexes alone.) then the wording in the next panel, i’ve underestimated him, made me think “oh no ok so he’s not enhanced, he’s just a really good fighter and can give dick a run for his money in a fight.” then, it turns out my first assumption was proven correct in the next panel. it just comes across as misleading to me.

(also sidenote but his curls are cute.)

have i praised the art enough in this series? no, i have not.

i adore the way this is laid out and illustrated. without even having to read the text, the action sequence is visually engaging and intense, and easily followable from one panel to the next. dick’s physical expertise comes through quite efficiently, and i love the special attention shown to draw our attention to dick’s escrima in the bottom right corner.

also that move in the middle row leftmost panel that’s the mcu black widow move to get up off the ground it was the first thing i noticed and it made me laugh; thought it was worth noting

i’m really loving dick’s escrima sticks in this run. they’re just so multipurpose, it’s hilarious and exhilarating. kinda reminds me of bruce’s belt, the way the button in the middle does eevveeerrryyytthhiinngg.

got a problem? don’t worry! dick’s installed a feature into his escrima that can fix that! (i like thinking dick helped make them it makes me happy and makes my engineer!dick side satisfied)

yawn. your big heart is your one true weakness yadda yadda the fact that you care will be used against you blah blah we get it. jesus can the villains please find a different weakness to exploit, this is getting old.

i need dick’s capacity to empathize and care and love to stop being a weakness that villains sneer about. bonus points if dick saves everyone anyway, either because of or despite his great big heart and the villain is surprised by the goodness of mankind or some shit like that.

i need it to be a strength, right from the get-go. the fact that he cares so incredibly much should be an asset that dick has and will use. he’s a very complex character with years of background, it can’t possibly be that hard to find another weakness of his.

ooooh this is cool, gosh i absolutely love this.

because what exactly is the reader doing? we are seeing the fear in dick’s face, just as this villain intended. even better, we’re seeing the reflection of it from the villain’s glossy mask, telling us exactly what we’re seeing and exactly what he likes so much about it.

dick’s standing up straight, shoulders drawn back, looking up at this villain’s face with determination and resolve, but his suit is tattered. one eye looks to be swollen. his hair is falling limply around his eyes, as opposed to the curls from earlier. his escrima aren’t even part of the main focus, instead blending into the side of the mask in the outer corners of the mask’s eyes, which tells you exactly how big of a threat they are to this villain.

poor bitewing’s quite alarmed.

also on second thought why would you bring your puppy out like this, when you know you’re gonna end up fighting someone in the suit. a) how many grey three-legged adorable little puppies live in the bludhaven area dick? and how easy will it be to connect the doggo running around with nightwing with the doggo that dick grayson owns? and 2) is this puppers trained? does she have fighting experience? how exactly can you ensure she will survive this highly stressful situation?

dick take better care of your dog

you know what? i was with tim on this one. why exactly is dick so optimistic and trusting about the people of bludhaven? bludhaven, which has been described as gotham’s smaller, smellier, more corrupt sister city once or twice. it’s not just the corrupt people in power, the entire system needs to change and people need to have faith and hope in order for them to come together, espcially if they’ve been living in conditions like how bludhaven has been described. from how clueless dick is about his own goddamn city, i can tell he hasn’t been here long.

it was a nice moment of hope, i’ll admit. but it was a tad unrealistic for me.

also it was in a weird place in the comic. this sort of confrontation and big get-together of the people to rejuvenate hope in each other feels like it should come near the end of a run, if not the end of an issue. certainly not in the first third of an issue. the pacing’s a bit off to me.

loyal little puppy patiently waiting for her human to wake up. i love her so much.

no it’s not. it’s bitewing.

living for this t-shirt honestly. do comics of dc characters exist in the dc universe? they must if the mug and the shirt are any indication

(now i’m imagining the first batman movie that came out in the dc universe and bruce just. being so offended at who they chose to play him.)

well, yes. but when a group of people are put through hellish conditions over and over again, they soon become desensitized to the pain and terror of their everyday lives in order to both stay sane and keep their life relatively stable, and part of that becomes ignoring or blocking out anything that isn’t directly important to you or your loved ones. having a bleeding heart will most likely get you killed in a city like bludhaven if you don’t have the same skills that vigilantes have.

and of course, people are more than capable of coming together and rallying under their city’s vigilante after seeing the good they’ve done and how they’ve helped the people, but that sort of trust takes time and effort to build. dick also had the whole ric arc and was gone for a while, which has been referenced several times in this particular issue in fact. that’s not going to make bludhaven’s citizens any more likely to trust him.

maybe i’m being a bit harsh but this comic is comic off as a bit too idealistic for the amount of change nightwing can do in a city given the present and past circumstances as well as nightwing’s own abilities. even dick grayson can’t pull off everything.

ok seriously this needs to stop this needs to stop.

right now, dick reminds me of oliver queen in the few episodes of the cw’s arrow i watched. he does the punchy-kicky-fighty and occasionally has smart insights due to the skills he gained from his past that he certainly definitely totally has but only ever exhibits once, while his team does all of the background research and information gathering and actual work.

this is dick’s city. if he has the same intelligence, worth ethic, and stubbornness in this run that he’s been shown to possess all his life, then he knows this city inside out. he’ll have meticulous notes organized in a ridiculously efficient system, he’ll have scouted out zucco long before this started, he’ll have known when anything big happened in the bludhaven political landscape in an instant.

i’m really not liking exactly how much dick’s relying on babs and tim in this series. sure, he loves them and cares for them and likes working cases with them. but he always pulls his own weight, has always been a mentor figure to tim instead of what’s weirdly becoming the other way around, and takes point on the cases in his own damn city.

what kind of weak-ass oracle is this?? redacted fbi files are child’s play. babs used to hack into the fbi for fun. this one particular picture is so out of character i want to laugh.

reading this series has unfortunately made me confront that, despite the tiny fluid acrobat dick that lives in my head 24/7, canon dick is impossibly 5′10 and muscular at that.

mmm. titties.

tim said hydrate or die-drate bitch

love how dick’s doing all this intense brooding and stuff meanwhile bitewing is curled up in a soft comfy post having the time of her life.

you don’t understand i would legitimately kill myself for her.

also the lighting in this one scene is cool. the blue tones come off so well.

they’re just. so multipurpose!! they can become a bo staff. they can cut glass. they can become a grapple hook/line. they can electrify someone. they’re a funky colour. i’m becoming really attached to these things. absolute solid choice in weaponry.

if you’re gonna write up every rookie mistake dick has made during this series to head trauma, then dick shouldn’t be out and about at all, much less in costume.

see this? this is just straight up wrong. dick most definitely should have spotted her, and would have immediately moved to take her down.

scratch that, dick would have done a full check of the building, because he knows not to break into places uninformed, especially if the owner of the apartment was raised by the maroni family. someone as highly trained, experienced, and competent as dick wouldn’t have done this.

and if you chalk it up to head injury, (which is probably true), than his ~love interest~ and his little brother should have done a much better job making sure he stays in his house.

zucco looks so awkward it’s fucking hilarious

are those shadows that mimic a domino mask, to both reflect and hide the fact that his mask is missing? are those bruises around his eyes, to show how, despite what good he’s doing, being nightwing is hurting dick right now?

(isn’t his domino mask supposed to have an electrifying feature that keeps people from removing them?)

it’s a little odd how the three known villains of this series are all coloured in warm shades, more specifically pink. meanwhile, in earlier issues, dick’s fondest memories were in pink, memories of him and alfred in particular. why has the colour pink changed from signifying something benevolent to something malicious? idk i hope this gets explained later.

this i did like. either it’s just a display of brute force in anger, or dick slipped the ties and pulled them off once untied. both ways, it’s an unintentional display of power, and i think that’s kinda cool.

again. dick is,,,tall? sort of? weirdddd

i’m so glad most readers are unified in the notion that this was the absolute dumbest fucking thing.

i’m hoping this gets disproved or something soon. and i hope dick doesn’t fall for it, because he definitely knows better than to take something as important as this at face value.

what exactly is taylor trying to accomplish here? why is he trying to go back on what we all knew was a happy, loving childhood and throw strife and disharmony and (what i’m assuming will be) infidelity? this will not end well at all.

---

,,,,,this review got way longer than expected lol. and i realize most of it just became me ranting. i guess i didn’t realize how ticked off i was originally. fingers crossed it gets better.

tag list: @woahjaybird @birdy-bat-writes @anothertimdrakestan @subtleappreciation @screennamealreadyused @bikoncon @pricetagofficial @catxsnow @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption @capricorn-stark @batshit-birds @comics-observer

#nightwing 81 #nightwing #dick grayson #dc #nightwing 81 meta #nightwing meta #dick grayson meta #dc meta #river thinks too hard

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positivityforlesbians · 2 years

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🤎💕🤍 <- so i can recognize lol

i'm 1000% anti porn and suggest anyone who isn't do their research, but i noticed an ask of yours where you made a distinction.

so What is the difference between erotica and porn?

Also you talked about lesbian romance tumblrs and podcasts, and that's different from erotica?

what are those categories and distinctions to you, i'm curious?

The difference between erotica and porn is that one is about suggestions, it plays with what's visible and what's not, there's romantic tension, while the other is purely about getting the viewer hot and heavy fast by making them see a sexual scene that is as raw as possible. One is erotic, the other is animalistic and doesn't take feelings into consideration, it's the act(s), the goal of reaching physical pleasure and orgasm as fast as possible, it's sort of a competition and there's no place for sensuality.

Watching porn imposes a PoV on you, the camera films genitals in close-up, sexual acts without any intimacy or delicacy, it activates a part of your brain that seeks instant pleasure (the reward system) and releases endorphin, so whatever you see on your screen will be something you'll seek more and more because your brain has associate pleasure with that sexual act you're seeing (doesn't even have to be only sexual, which is why the people who are porn addicted will talk about how funny it is that now they have this or that weird kink). You can develop an addiction to porn because it has an actual impact on your brain (and therefore also your body), it's different from erotica, which, as mentioned before takes more distance, more time, let certain things hidden so we can ourselves project our phantasms on the unseen, it's more imaginative but still sexual.

The best way I can resume this is that there's sexual scenes in films which are dabbling in erotica, you never see too much but it creates a satisfaction nonetheless (I'm talking of scenes like ep 9 season 3 of "Dickinson", not random unimaginative short sex scenes, it has to be elaborated, romantic, not just a way to say "and now these characters are together"). Sex is happening but you don't see genitals (or only partially/from afar), you see hands, skin, sweat, etc, it's sensual, no matter if it's a film or pictures it's more artistic than anything else. Seeing a beautiful photography of a woman wearing a thin white shirt under where you can see her erected nipples ? Erotica. Because porn is so popular now the word "erotica" is sometimes used as a synonymous for it and that's fucked up, I can see why there's a confusion from your part when this is what we have to deal with. People can take a clearly pornographic picture (let's say a woman performing oral on a man, it's all very visible) and just put a black and white filter on it to describe it as "explicit erotica", nah, erotica is not explicit, that's the point. Porn is.

An audio lesbian romance, with many episodes, can just stay that, but if at some points the characters get sexual and the words get sexually explicit (words can be explicit) then that's also erotica, it stays a lesbian romance, both can be true at the same time. Erotica means it get sexual/sensual but it doesn't get into raw/pornographic territory. Xx

#anonymous #my answers #lesbian safe #sexuality

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kitkatopinions · 3 years

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So, let’s talk about James’s semblance, Mettle.

Ironwood's Semblance, Mettle, strengthens his resolve which allows him to carry through with his decisions, helping him hyper-focus (RWBY wiki)

Actual quotes on Ironwood’s semblance from the RTX RWBY Panel.

“So Ironwood does have a semblance. We - it’s in the show, it’s in like little bits, you can kind of see it. It’s more like a passive semblance that runs in the background.” Eddy Rivas

“The whole thing is just this kind of like, iron resolve-slash-will that like kind of powers him to - almost like a very stubbornly, narrow-set focus like mind set on things, to kind of like push himself to do what he’s decided he’s gonna do-” Eddy Rivas

“It kind of helps him like, hyper focus,” Kerry Shawcross

“Or like, pushing through something like searing the flesh off your arm. If like, this is the goal he needs to accomplish, everything else just goes by the wayside.” Miles Luna

“So that’s kind of running in the background of seven and eight a little bit.” Eddy Rivas

“So it felt a little weird and we just never put it on the page, but you can actually see it happening.” Eddy Rivas

“We could possibly get it out later, but we thought it’d be more fun for you to be able to watch volume eight, and go back and watch volume 7 knowing that.” Kerry Shawcross

So I’m going to be talking about some of the problems I think there are with Ironwood’s semblance and it not being included in the show. I’m going to be very critical of and bashing RWBY, and there’s probably going to be CRWBY bashing too. If you don’t want to see any of that or if you’re against any sort of pro Ironwood content, don’t read this post or interact.

So let’s try to piece together from these statements what Ironwood’s semblance is.

It’s a passive semblance. As far as I know, the only other passive semblance we have to judge how those work is Qrow. Unlike active semblances, Qrow’s passive semblance can’t be controlled, and can only be increased at will, but always runs at frequencies severe enough that Qrow thinks of it as controlling his life and preventing him from being able to be close to his family. From the way Qrow’s semblance behaves, we can extrapolate that James’s semblance likely works in the same way, and in the panel, it’s described as ‘running in the background.’ I.E. He can’t turn it off, it runs through his entire life, he can only increase it in certain times.

It’s described as hyper-focusing, stubbornness, narrow-set focus, being unable to concentrate or care about things outside of his set goal, and pushing himself in doing what he’s decided he has to do.

There are several reasons I want to talk about this semblance.

1. This semblance might’ve been newly invented for season 7 and 8. Why do I think this? Eddy Rivas says ‘I believe we called it Mettle’ in the panel (emphasis is mine,) and is talking like he was included in inventing it, even though he became a co-writer for volume 7. Also they don’t mention if it affected Ironwood pre-volume 7, they only mention it being seen or considering including it in volume 7 and 8. Also, the voice actor of James Ironwood didn’t know about this semblance until a fan told him. It’s possible that this semblance was written earlier, but I doubt it and I think that this semblance was invented in the conception of volumes 7 and 8 with Eddy Rivas being involved. As such, I’m going to view everything pre-volume 7 as actions we were intended to consider James’s actual character, and everything post-volume 6 as actions influenced by his semblance.

2. The fact that it’s not included is lazy. This is a character defining semblance. This colors literally everything that Ironwood does in seasons seven and eight, this is a major game changer, this changes any understanding of the character. I’ve said this before, but fans shouldn’t have to do homework to understand the story. Many fans don’t want to go searching through panels, wikis, books, and zoom meetings to try and piece together why a character might be the way they are or how the magic systems work. The fact that the semblance isn’t included has led to confusion about how the semblance works. Some RWBY fans will present the way they decided the semblance works and get actively angry at fans who headcanon that it works differently or are upset with the way the creators themselves described the semblance. Other fans act like RWBY critics who think Ironwood’s fall to villainy is hard to track are stupid for not knowing this completely unincluded detail, and other fans villainize the semblance and use it as a reason why Ironwood is an inherently bad person. On the flip side, James Ironwood fans are rightly confused at this semblance that seems like it could be an explanation for the sudden shifts in his character. Some of them don’t understand why this semblance isn’t explained and at least treated as a part of his fall and treated more sympathetically. The fact that it wasn’t explained in the show leads to fans coming up with their own conclusions, and then arguing over what version is viable or what the collective fandom should accept.

3. The semblance itself is a lazy explanation for his villainy. The creators didn’t write a convincing hero-to-villain story. Ironwood’s leaps in morality are made with very little groundwork or explanation, he goes from ‘doing what he feels needs to be done’ to threatening to bomb the remaining citizens of Mantle in a completely irrational time with laughter and smiles over the course of a season that didn’t really put the focus on that progression. The semblance wasn’t explained or even mentioned and Ironwood wasn’t treated with sympathy or understanding, because we were meant to hate him and see him as the enemy to the protagonists, who we were meant to see as completely right. But the semblance is then an easy explanation that ‘fills out the plot holes’ if CRWBY is asked, that they can use to justify the fall to villainy - or use to suddenly redeem James if they decide they want to. And as I said before, this semblance is already being used by the mega-fans to explain the fall to villainy and throw it in the faces of any critics. Once again, it feels like the writers are just coming up with whatever they can to make up for their shitty writing, while they also rely on their fans to fill in the gaps and ‘explain’ to critics exactly how they think the semblance works and act like the critics or bashers should’ve just come to the same conclusion they did.

4. The semblance is problematic because of how villainized James is specifically for things like his semblance. The semblance is literally the best possible explanation for Ironwood’s fall and the only one I’ve heard that makes any sense. But his semblance is literally described by the creators as ‘hyper-focusing.’ The fact that his semblance is treated as something that makes him more of a villain and something that aids in his destructive behavior that isn’t ever treated with an ounce of sympathy or understanding, is a really bad look. There are real-life people who hyper-fixate on things and can’t help it, and while James’s semblance might not be hyper-fixating exactly, CRWBY still hurt people with the way they talked about this semblance and how they included it in Ironwood’s fall. I’m not diagnosed and I’m therefore never sure of this, but I think I’m ADHD and hyper-fixate on things (like RWBY, lol.) I’ve never been sure exactly how I view Ironwood’s semblance, but hearing the way that the CRWBY head writers talk about it made me feel like I should keep that side of me from people who don’t know me well like my co-workers. Whether or not it was intended, that’s what CRWBY did, and there are many more people than just me who were hurt or bothered by this personally.

5. Since I’m assuming this semblance was a new addition to James in season 7 and 8, it really honestly feels disconnected. It’s a passive semblance, it’s meant to affect James during the course of his whole life because he can’t turn it off. But in volumes 2 and 3, he seems honestly receptive to Oz, listens to him, never goes too far, never seems too stubborn, never seems to ignore other problems to focus on one thing more than what’s perfectly normal for regular people. Before literally near the tail end of volume 7, Ironwood acted like a regular person unaffected by a semblance at all, who just happens to be a determined person facing hard situations. It really feels like the semblance was invented to explain the jump to villainy, and then used to explain how he did things like sear the flesh off of his arm in the Watts fight to be like ‘look, this didn’t come out of nowhere! There it is in this scene!’ which is really lazy. And the disjointed feeling between Ironwood from his first appearance and Ironwood post-shooting Oscar still takes you out of the story and makes you go ‘wait, what’s going on here?’ You shouldn’t be able to see the hand of the author, but it was very clear to me that the writers just wanted villain!Ironwood and just did whatever the hell they wanted to get there whether or not it made sense or what they had to force or forget to do it.

6. This semblance... Really makes Qrow look like a jerk. It makes everyone look like a jerk, but it especially makes Qrow look like a jerk. There’s a very, very strong probability that Qrow never had any idea about this semblance that Ironwood couldn’t control. But after spending volumes sympathizing with Qrow and feeling bad for him and understanding that a lot of his problems stemmed from his horrible lot in life that he wrongly blamed himself for, to see him ready to kill a former friend who is even more affected by and ruled by a semblance than Qrow ever was made me seriously annoyed with the writing. In my opinion, they should’ve had Qrow know about his semblance, know that it was affecting his every choice, be deeply sympathetic and bothered by the situation, and be trying to get out of jail so he could break Ironwood’s aura and jolt him out of his affected state. It would’ve been much, much better in my opinion, for Ironwood’s character, Qrow’s character, and the story as a general whole. The way that villain Ironwood was done just is not interesting to me in any way. Not only did CRWBY miss any opportunity to present a compelling hero-turned-villain story, but they also invented a reason for Ironwood to be deeply sympathetic and easily redeemed and then made no one understand that this was a problem and seem to be going out of their way to act like it’s not there at all to make Ironwood a full villain! Why give him the semblance at all if they were going to not use it and expect everyone to want him to be a full, incredibly hard to redeem, EVIL VILLAIN?

I seriously can’t understand CRWBY’s choices. In my opinion, they should’ve either made Ironwood a sympathetic hero forced into doing villainous actions by this semblance that they should’ve rephrased in terms of how it works, or they should’ve just left him with no explained semblance.

Also, I think Mettle is a stupid name.

#rwde #rwby criticism #anti rwby #anti-rwby #anti crwby #rwby hate #pro ironwood #ironwood defense #pro-ironwood #rwby bashing #this post contains rwby hate

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