#but it also did the whole 'found family except not lmao go back to your abusive ex families cuz you gotta 🤗' at the very end

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

#red vs blue #rvb restoration #lavernius tucker

[kuwdora]

Fanworks Con 2023 Vid Premieres Squee Recs Here’s my squee-and-recs for the @fanworkscon 2023 vidshow Premieres! There’s a few vids that I haven’t found online yet but I still included them because they’re great and I’ll edit the post when I find links. I haven’t managed to watch any of the premieres from the It Follows vidshow yet but for now!! Enjoy the bounty of awesome new vids for many fandoms. Over 20 recs under the cut!

Some humorous and lighthearted vids...

Don’t Be a Lawyer by starlady This vid!!! She-Hulk!! To a song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Really nailing the humor of the show, the breaking the 4th wall and it’s just even funnier with this song. I was wheezing the whole fucking time.

Sexy and I Know It by nestra Oh my god it’s Jamie Tartt from Ted Lasso. I laughed, I wheezed. Jamie Tartt is indeed sexy and he knows it. This is so much fucking FUN.

Four words on the top of your tongue by donteatthebee Okay apparently this is for this new show called Vice Principals and I have no idea what is gong on in this vid (nobody in chat did either). But what we do know is that Walton Goggins is fucking incredible and you get two middle aged men who love each other and even hump each other on screen and give each other pining and adoring looks? Well of course people’s fannish ears are gonna perk up. Amazing use of Taylor Swift, I still have no idea what’s going on by the end of the vid except that they will do anything for each other. What the fuck was that hot tub scene? Amazing. Also note the amazingly bland and dorky ties they are wearing. I have seen enough to know that I will watch this show. Odds Are by rhea Omg this is for 9-1-1 and truly the pinnacle of ODDS ARE. This show is too ridiculous for words. “Struck by lightening” repeats how many times in this song? And every single clip is different lightning!! Everybody goes through so much. Lmao. Beautiful people and family and gay folks and feelings. Shades of Purple by BlueshiftOfDeath Vice Principals vid about Gamby and Russell loving each other. There’s also a tiger and some shooting and I still don’t know what is going on but I’m also seeing arson and… Wow there is so much happening. There’s clips in this vid that I didn’t see in the other Vice Principals vid and I am even more intrigued. I’ve also never heard this song before but the vibe of the music is *chefs kiss* Consider me recruited. Duel of the Fates by jonesandashes, pollyrepeat Star Wars. I was NOT PREPARED FOR THIS VID. Oh my god I am howling. I was not prepared for the song and… everything else. Literally just giggling and covering my face the whole vid saying “whatttttt??” over and over.  This might be the greatest Obi-Wan vid I’ve ever seen. How the glass breaks on the beat at 2:06!!!! Sheer perfection.

At Your Pace by Rhea 9-1-1 show ‘cos that’s where Rhea’s heart lies and it is SO FULL OF LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. This vid is all about Buck and Eddie being an amazingly slashy couple. Also reminded me how I never finished the first season but damn they are so slashy and adorable together. This vid gave me the warm fuzzies and nostalgic slashy feelings.

Amazing vids with Amazing Vibes...

Heated by ultraviolet_catastrophe BEYONCE VID!!! I haven’t seen a Beyonce fanvid in awhile. All I could think while watching this is just how much fun it must have been going through all the music videos because damn the production quality and style of Beyonce’s music videos is gorgeous and yummy to watch, whewww. Outstanding editing here.

Underworld by VielMouse Alright so this is Stargate the movie with some video game music from also a 90s game. Someone in chat said “is this what taking acid feels like?” and honestly I think that is the right question to be asking while watching this. Wild and sonorous and, great overlays that really did put me back in 1994. Also Jaye Davidson is so fucking beautiful, my god. Outstanding vid. Love seeing Stargate again. Amazing vibes. The Wandering Song by periru3 This is a vid for the comic/animation Over the Garden Wall. Which I have no idea what that’s about but this animation is gorgeous and the editing is ALL VIBES for THIS WHOLE SONG.   Hush, Little Baby by bStro The Sandman vid! INSPIRED song choice for the cover of Enter Sandman. Amazing look at Death, Desire and Johanna Constantine, Lucienne throughout the show with some incredible money shots of Dream of the Endless, of course. But waaahhhh this is supremely epic and satisfying to watch.

Some vids about living in an age of resistance...

A Hazy Shade of Winter by Jayne L (JayneL) The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance vid! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this vid is epic. This definitely has become the vid that I will forever associate with this song (and I have even vidded this song before, hah). This vid has incredible pacing and uses the stunning visuals of the show so well. I didn’t want to blink the whole time because I didn’t want to miss a single frame. Like, damn. Epic.

The hammer and the nail by stardust_rain Star Wars. Cassian Andor’s political education. Fuuuuuuuck. Mind the warnings on this vid, naturally, but y’all?? Do you all know how amazing it is to see Thea Gillmore music used in a vid?? Lyrics + tone of the song is so perfect for Andor. The pacing has me nodding and grooving along and it’s definitely a must-watch if you are into the show.

Multi-source vids that will make your jaw drop...

This is It by sandalwoodbox This is a pan-fandom vid (over 50 sources!!) about characters playing Go. It’s brilliant and it took me about halfway through the vid to actually notice each clip features a character playing black or white and throughout the vid the whole game is progressing, holy fuck, it’s so much fun and the lyrics are bangin’ for it too.

Bicycle Race by seekingferret Putting a Queen song to ALL THE BICYCLES EVER! There’s so many movies and tv shows in this vid and the progression of bicycle riding and then the moving frames with everyone riding their bicycle just escalates the fun. I keep losing it when I get to the bell chiming section and everyone starts falling off the bicycles, wahaha.

Relationship dynamics like whoa... A and B Song by mithborien A new Steve/Bucky vid FROM MITIHBORIEN!! I have been loving mithborien’s vids for an eternity now and oh my god just roll up into the con with a new Steve/Bucky vid and smack me back into my slashy feelings all over again. Tom McRae used to get around in fanvids ages ago but man I was so happy to hear him again for this vid in particular. The lyrical associations are fabulous. I feel wrung out after watching this vid.

Destroying Angels by Tafadhali Yellowjackets. Shauna/Jackie, fucked up teenage sapphics and cannibalism. This show is so fucked up and this vid doubly so, for all the right bad reasons whew. I was watching this and literally muttering “oh fuck” every 15 seconds. The vocalist is eerie, the underlying instrumentation during the verses is HAUNTING and foreboding. This vid does not pull any punches. The lyrics about ink and blood on her shoes and icy skin??  It’s a very intense vid..

Grandpa Never Gives Up His Money by ghost_lingering OMG NEW GHOST LINGERING VID!! This is for the 2018 film Trust about Paul Getty’s family. Whew the content warnings. Eat the rich. What an incredible use of The Beatles, too. The tonal shift at 1:15 is killer and holy crap this vid just keeps going and going and GOING and everything gets worse and…what a fucking rollercoaster, holy fuck. I’ve never seen this film but goddamn. A great vid for a fucked up family and movie. I’m kind of obsessed with the edits on the guitar in the last minute of this vid, too. Incredible stuff.

Don’t Take the Money by Anoel - not uploaded yet I don’t think? Will edit this post when I find the video online. Tag me if you see it! This is a Succession siblings vid and honestly I was not sure what to expect because I thought it was going to be the original song but it’s actually an MTV Unplugged cover featuring The Bleachers and Lorde. And oh my god it just really epitomizes how much the right cover can do wonders for a vid idea. Jesus Christ. These siblings got so fucked up and fucked over by Logan and that just hurts even more when you see all the human moments the siblings have for each other in this vid.

Heartwrenchingly beautiful and aching vids...

Man is Not Made by His Fractures by videobaths - also not uploaded yet? If someone sees this online somewhere please tag me?? Moon Knight vid!! “A man is not made by his fractures; he is able to mine them as a chance to emerge whole.” Aw, I really fucking love Oscar Isaac’s portrayal of Marc. This is a song I’ve never seen vidded before! Lil’ Was X’s Tales of Dominica. “Sometimes you’re angry / sometimes you’re hurting / sometimes you’re all alone.” If that isn’t the epitome of Marc’s life I don’t know what it is. Spectacular editing through and through. Live to Tell by AurumCalendula Star Trek TOS, Animated Original Series and Star Trek Discovery. A whole vid focusing on the Guardian of Forever! And the portal and the characters who go through the portals. Aurum’s cropping of the disco footage was so interesting and I think it did a lot to help it fit in with the other footage because everything is filmed so differently. But Aurum always makes my heart sing or ache and this is no exception. The difficulties of saying goodbye, aaaaahHHHhhh, just masterful storytelling here.

I Remember Damage by ohvienna An Ilsa Faust fanvid using a voice over from Station Eleven. Voiceover vids as the main audio track can be hit or miss for me but damn this really hit me. Just nailing the hurt and pain and perseverance in the face of unbeatable odds and coming back to your person time and time again. Fucking realness here.

The World You Thought You Lived In by BeatriceEagle This is: Adventure Time, Stargate SG-1, Farscape, The Magicians and Star Trek: The Next Generation. This vid explores what it is like for characters who are trapped living an entire life during a day. Heartwrenchingly beautiful. And painful! Cause then they lean into living out their life. But then the day ends and the characters have to go back to their other life. Aaaah, “say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in.” 😭😭😭😭 Very good pain.

Thousand Eyes by nu_breed_vids (nu_breed) This is a Korean TV show 손 : The Guest (TV). Åppears to be horror and trauma and really walloping the main character with the angst and whump. Mind the vidder notes/tags. In fact the vidder tagged this “Yoon Hwapyung is a whump magnet” which seems to track. The song choice is so ominous and slow-burn-y and goddamn, I’m not sure if this is some kind of demonic possession or whatever but I gotta check it out. The instrumental section with the drums and escalating strings is so TERRIFYINGGG with the blood and pain and losing himself. My god.

Blow your mind intense vids...

Psycho by lolachrome 长月烬明 | Till the End of the Moon (TV). A new Lola vid!! This is so fucking lush and gorgeous and the fucking attitude of this devil god character is fucking dreamy and intoxicating and terrifying at the same time.

Reincarnation by ExtraPenguin Star Wars sequel trilogy. Rey vid!! This is a constructed reality vid about Rey being the reincarnation of Anakin. The editing on this is so fucking slick and intense and incredible. So warning for lots of quick cuts and later flickering lightening shots. Oh my god. The intercutting between Rey and the original trilogy footage. I am foaming at the mouth. This vid is a (ahem) force to be reckoned with. It’s so cool and interesting to see Star Wars canon get recontexualized for this concept. And it’s executed so well!! Do watch if you are a Star Wars fan.

Never forget the antiheroes and misfits... Antihero by theletterelle Loki vid! It’s exhausting to always be rooting for the antihero. Oh, this is definitely reawakening my Loki feelings. The lyrics (especially the chorus!!) are so good for Loki. Do love, will watch again.

Superstar by sandalwoodbox A Nimona vid!! To Tegan and Sara! Oh holy fuck, I’ve come to expect and hope for awesome vids for this movie but this one is dark and still grooving with the beat. I did not expect this song to work so well with fame and propaganda. Oh my god, Gloreth's betrayal and Nimona and all the fallout with that. My. Goddddd. "I saw my first angel and it was you" omg NIMONA. Goddamn, these lyrics really punch you in the face.

#fanvid #fanvids #fanvideo #fan video #fanworkscon #fanworkscon 2023 #vid rec #video edit #vidding #vids #kuwdora recs #will i ever be able to format things for tumblr on by the third attempt? probably not #anyway i have many feelings and here are some of them. #an actual post that i finished and remembered to share. i need a sticker to commemorate the day

[so-long-soldier28]

Idk if anyone's ever asked u this but what would ur life in tvd be like?! Including ur family ,career, friends, species etc lmao

oh ho ho, so this is certainly a thing i've considered

as someone who maladaptive daydreams all day long (whenever i'm not writing basically), trust me when i say i have an entire life planned out

in fact, the things i write frequently represent these daydreams, except i have an OC for them, whereas for writing, i am committed to the 'x reader' way

✨ including my readers in my world of delusion & fantasy ✨

but onwards and upwards…

species

first, I feel like being a heretic would be so fucking cool

like… vampire with witch powers, c'mon now… being the underdog your whole life and then rising to be the most powerful, it's gotta be redeeming

plus seems so fun

but personally, I think I'd stick to being just a witch, and I have a solid reason for this

now, being a vampire would be cool, too (and honestly I need to write more vampire reader fics), because I absolutely love the bloodthirsty, badassery of vampires

so if not a witch (bc I love the thought of being able to do magic), I would go with vamp second

I still hate the TVDU wolves. literally all of them. as someone who watches Teen Wolf now, I would LOVE to be one of those wolves, but as for TVDU, I still HATE those guys

being a hybrid doesn't sound too bad, although then both Klaus and Tyler would be all up in my business all the time, and that sounds awful

so no wolfishness for me

for species, I'd be a witch, but then I get turned into a vampire in my mid-20s

career

I need to eat, so I need to work

idk how anybody except Matt got by without a job

and like Matt, I work at the Mystic Grill, but I'm a little older than them, so I can bartend (even tho underage Matt does too)

I was going to Whitmore College, but dropped out (like I did lmao)

friends

Mystic Falls gang but in varying degrees of friendliness

most with Caroline, loving her bubbly personality; drift away from Elena when she gets tied up with the Salvatores; drift from Bonnie when she starts dating Jeremy, then drift further after the Kai debacle

also, the Originals

Kol has the title of the best friend; Bex is close, too

sometimes I'm so much of a Kolvina shipper that I can't split Kol & Davina apart, even tho I'm in love with Kol, too

Klaus is a frenemy; I like him when he's not murderous. he can be loyal when he wants to be, same with Elijah.

in fact, I liked Elijah in s2-era, but was also a little afraid. my crush fizzled out the moment I saw Kol, but then she & him became good friends instead (with both)

hooked up with Kol once or twice when he still lived in MF

friendly with Jo, but she's not really having it once I get with Kai

same with Luke and Liv... friendly, but Liv hates me after the merge

circa-season 7, I want to be friends with Nora & Mary Louise, but the MF gang works hard at keeping me away from them

amidst the chaos, I manage to get my way and befriend them anyway, earning their trust by being so close to Kai

when I die, I'm given blood by Nora, like in the fic I wrote recently, or Damon, who likes me enough to keep me alive and knows Kai would slaughter him if he ever came back and found out

seasons 7-8, I'm very much teaming on both sides, friends with MF gang and heretics, which is frustrating to MF gang (minus Caroline, who has become somewhat reliant on heretics for help with her pregnancy. + she always understands me anyway.)

frenemies

Tyler and Matt get their own category, bc I don't hate them, but they certainly piss me off

Tyler's just annoying in general, and I hate how he treats Caroline while he's away hybrid-ing

he gets better in s6 when he's trying to impress Liv & Caroline is over him. still not a friend, but less of an enemy

Matt, on the other hand, is complicated

he was my way into the supernatural bc we worked together

he had trouble keeping it from me bc vampires would always show up at the grill, and one time, he forgot I wasn't in the circle and ranted about vamps and wolves before he remembered

he and the gang still try to keep me out of it, despite my knowledge

but that all fails when Kol is undaggered, finds me alone, and we become friends

the fact that he actively hates vampires while hooking up with Rebekah bothers me, which causes tension between us

but he's stronger than he looks and loyal if he trusts you, so I try to keep him on my good side

family

my TVDU OC is the same OC I've had since I was 13 that I've slightly adapted for different fandoms

in TVDU, my parents are divorced; mom moved away, and toxic dad lives about 2 hours away while I'm in college

I hide whenever he comes to MF to visit

occasionally, my parents are dead like everyone else's

sometimes, though, I'm the older sister of other characters, but that varies per daydream

sometimes, I'm Tyler's older sister who is actually a wolf

triggered my curse young in life by accident, but didn't tell Tyler until he had triggered his own

sometimes, I'm even Matt's older sister, and he still spends every waking minute trying to keep me out of the supernatural

I've also used the Salvatore sister storyline with Kol, and Gilbert cousin one for both Kol and Kai

dating life

Kai, ofc

MF gang tried sooo hard to us apart, especially bc I'm a witch, but they lost that battle quickly

couldn't keep me from work, so whenever he'd come in for a drink and I was bartending, we'd talk

gained his trust through listening & he gained mine when I let him siphon

Matt and Damon first to realize we're friends, and know there's nothing they can do

fall into a relationship quickly

either beg Damon to spare him at the end of s6, or beg for his life in s8

had a crush on s2-era Elijah, but did a 180* and fell for Kol instead when he was undaggered

used as Kol bait when Caroline was Klaus bait, but despite a few hook-ups, never actually dated

became close friends & adore his relationship with Davina in NOLA

visit him there or wherever he is every so often

[I honestly never built a solid storyline around being with Kol or Elijah. (Elijah was my first favorite ever, and Kol's my second fave now next to Kai.) I entertain a world of delulu with Kol sometimes, but it lacks foundation.]

basically, he never died (obvs) and I move to NOLA with him (and he never dies there, too)

but I love both witch & vamp Kols, and both their actors, and I really should dedicate more time to delulu daydreams with them 😅

so, now that I've rambled...

species: witch, until Kai's death, then i become a vampire. however, if Kai doesn't die after s6, neither of us turn. (sometimes I'm feelin' heretic-y, sometimes not, what can I say?)

career: working at Mystic Grill; at Whitmore College for two years, but dropped out

friends: Caroline, Bonnie, & Elena first. Stefan & Damon post season 1 when Damon mellows out and I learn to trust Stefan. Kol & Rebekah, and I'm okay with the rest eventually (minus Finn).

family: divorced parents; mom moved and I stay away from my dad

frenemies: Matt & Tyler. s2 Klaus & Elijah. Finn, because I know he was mistreated by Klaus, much like Kol, and I want to be friends, but then he tries to kill his whole family, so I don't feel bad anymore. Then when Finn killed Kol in NOLA, he became a straight-up enemy. Also, I tolerate Alaric, but he annoys me daily in s6-8-era.

~~~

If anyone outside of this site read a single one of these sentences, I would be committed. I love fandoms / fanfiction, because all this stuff is perfectly normal to us. I love us as a community. Anyway, this was super fun to answer! 🥰 I'm sorry it took me so long!

#asks #tvd #the vampire diaries #when i was in ms/hs i did ALL of those tvd / hp / spn / pjo / twilight life quizzes ALL THE TIME #and this reminded me of that #also the last time i logged into quotev my screen name was kai and i was like 👀 bc i never got to s6 my first time watching tvd #so ig it's fate #idk what could've compelled me to pick that name #anyway thank you for the ask ily

[hellbubu]

Hello, it's me xD (I'm a bit late today cause I had a bday tea party to attend to ;P) Finally watched the episode! The first two thirds were so good, nice, glowy. It kinda makes me wonder if Ciel, deep down, cherishes these spun sugar memories or if in trying to put a front for Sebastian doesn't let himself even feel a bit of joy. (Also, yeah, was the fucking viscunt necessary??)

I do not know/remember anything about that chicken either. Took me out, ngl. Also, the *moment* the saphire's stood with both hands on the rows I was like "how tf are you gonna take off your hats and hold that heavy ass thing at the same time??" Them falling into the water was hilarious, but I think it made the other houses finally be 100% ok with them winning this one tornament (I think we all know there's not gonna be another 'miracle' for a loooong time lol).

It boggles my mind that no one, not a *single* soul in this whole ass school (with the exception of Cole, but fuck him) think of Ciel as even slightly suspicious! Like, in a month, two months? He managed to impress the P4 so much they invited him to tea, uncovered a bully and his plot *from another house*, became the prefect's drudge's drudge (and somehow still served the P4), got 'recommended' for the criquet team, did a complete overhaul of their techniques and strategies, managed to *pull off a win* for the house whose only won once before *AND* moved the audience to tears to win an invitation. And NOBODY thinks this is strange??? Smh

(Also, can we talk about how realistically Cole would have *totally* found out about the cover-up of the P4 and used it to keep his place? That was an oversight, in my eyes.)

Ciel using the angle of the kids' families' despair instead of his mission as Watchdog/Guard dog is so clever. Since he doesn't have a clue UT is under that hat, he's going with 'reasonable and sympathetic', which would have worked...on anyone else. Can't wait until next ep!!! (BTW, do you like boybands? *hinthint* ;P *nudgenugde*)

(Also, this idea just came up to me the other day: if the arc went even further -weird as that would be since this is one of if not the longest arc- I would have *loved* to see Finny in Weston! Like, let's suposse there were scholarships back then, and Sebastian did some *magic* to get him into Blue House -since he isnt of noble birth and i dont see Finny as artistic, and giving him to green house would mean completely losing the tornament lmao- before Ciel, so its not completely suspicious. Imagine Ciel, McMillan, Finny and Hartcourt (add Soma if you want) hanging out together, in the grass! All of them playing with Soma's elephant! Imagine the cuteness overload! I'm aware of the impossibility of this idea, I just want to bask in it for a little while. Finny being around kids his age, for once; Ciel defending him from bullies because you know Finny would let himself get pushed around if it meant not hurting others. Finny blushing everytime he says Ciel's name cause he's not supossed to be *allowed* but now he *is*. Finny scared shitless of Proff Michaelis instead of starstruck, cause he *knows* how much that ruler/can hurts, thanks no thanks. I just, I love this silly little idea xD)

Ohhh a tea party sounds nice. I've never been to one. I hope you had fun 💖💖💖💖

IDK I think he enjoyed life at Weston to an extent. He had friends and a sense of normalcy. But at the same time, it's a temptation. I remember in a scene of the circus arc, that Sebastian kinda tried to get Ciel to want a normal life/take back the contract or smth so he could eat his soul. It was a flashback if I remember properly. It further proves that Ciel doesn't regret/he doesn't have second thoughts about having sold his soul.

(It's this scene. Watching it again after knowing that Ciel took his brother's identity, makes the wording of "the name I bear comes with responsibilities" seem like a hint to the twin brothers but it might sound like that because I'm an ESL :P It's also probably a pretty important moment in Ciel and Sebastian's relationship. It shows Sebastian that 1. Ciel doesn't regret shit. 2. Ciel's character.)

The chicken was from a scene that wasn't animated. The chicken might just be the most important character in the whole series /j

The blue house falling in front of the Queen gave me secondhand embarrassment. Like, seriously, did no one think "Maybe with the help of the shady boy and the teacher that seems kinda obsessed with him we might win, so let's practice so we don't make fools of ourselves in front of the motherfucking Queen?"

Everyone in the school just thinks/knows Ciel is that school's main character. They won't fight it. The second he ran with that English biscuit in his mouth it was over. When fucking Heather Chandler, I mean Redmond fixed his tie and let him get away with stepping on the grass, they knew it. What's the point of fighting it?

I doubt Cole would've found out. Most of the school takes the P4's words at face value. Plus, if he hanged around Redmond too much it'd be obvious he outsources his job to others.

Depends on the boyband 👀👀 or is this a hint to smth else? 👀👀👀

It'd be UT's choice as to where Finny goes. But I doubt he'd understand cricket all that well. It took me until like episode 7 to figure out what's going on. But if he were in Green house, he'd fuck up just for Ciel to win, or maybe just accidentally. Ciel would probably do something cheat to make sure he doesn't bat or throw well.

#breyito #ask response #black butler #kuroshitsuji #sebaciel

[theclearblue]

Have you ever had hard time to enter a fandom that is your whole world in your childhood? So I first watch One Piece when I was 6 about 20 years ago, and I really love it (have the tshirt, shoes, manga, etc). And I followed it until I finished high school. But then I suddenly lose interest. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it, just don't want to enter to that fandom again. My anime/manga moots now, don't even know that I used to love One Piece.

What do you think is wrong with me? I still watch the new movie if it came out in the cinema and I don't mind to know the update or spoiler of the story, I just don't want to watch the series or read the manga again. I'm weird, right?

I found your blog because of your JJK posts (now I'm into JJK and have at least 4 ships that I really love) also from you I know that Law got turned to a woman (like really)...

And if you aks me, I have ships (mostly mlm and wlw) from any fandom of manga and anime that I consume, except if those series are from my childhood. Like, I can't seem to ship Zoro and Sanji or any other character from OP because in my mind they are all platonic. But you gave me anime/manga that have a little bit bromance, and I'll ship them of course.

After talk it out, I must look really strange to you right? Sorry for this silly ask. Thanks for your blog, I love them. Also, thank you for your anime/manga recs. As BokuAka shipper that last ask of yours really made me happy that they are at least canon-ish....

I don't really think this is weird at all because this happened to me with a different fandom lol. It wasn't a show, but from ages 11-18/19 I was OBSESSED with kpop. I bought the albums and the merch when I could, my original tumblr blog was an Exo blog with about 900ish followers, it was all I listened to for years. And then one day I just stopped. I certainly was sick of kpop fans but nothing major happened for me to lose interest, I just kind of moved on. It happens. And while I still listen to some kpop, it's all the old stuff that I used to like, I don't go and venture out for new music or interact with any fandom with it now. It's the exact same situation you described I think, I don't hate it! But I have zero interest to rejoin the fandom because I do have issues with it and any kind of interaction is just for me at this point. (The next part is about One Piece specifically so I'm gonna put a cut here cause I wrote a lot lmao)

In regards to One Piece specifically, I think I understand where you're coming from. One, it seems like a lot of fans have lost interest at some point (usually between Fishman Island-Dressrosa, or maybe even up to WCI) and some pick it back up, and some don't. And I get that! I think I came into it at the perfect time where even if there is an arc I don't like as much, I always had Wano and Egghead to look forward to, and the end is now in sight. And reading week to week is always going to be a different experience than blitzing through the series like I did. Fortunately Egghead is amazing week to week, this is some of Oda's best work, but if I had to read week to week during, say, Punk Hazard or Dressrosa, yeah I would have complaints and most likely lose interest lmao. I don't know if this was your experience, but you definitely aren't the only one to have lost interest.

The fandom...yeah I have issues lol, particularly with fans from the West. I went to Japan this summer (before starting One Piece) and looking back it stood out to me that One Piece is EVERYWHERE and it's something that everyone loves regardless of age and gender. There were One Piece themed stores I went into where old ladies and middle aged men and little girls were all clearly invested in this series, and from what I've heard the consensus in Japan is that this series is enjoyed by families. I bring that up because the conversation around One Piece is OVERWHELMINGLY dominated by cishet men, usually in their mid 20s to mid 30s, and it shows. I think it is starting to shift to where there's more diversity in the fandom (or at least seen diversity) but man does it have a long way to go. I'm not impressed by how the fandom has reacted to trans characters, in particular Yamato, a trans male character in Wano where you have people still to this day scream about how he is a woman and will die on that hill. I think the whitewashing should of started being a conversation ten years ago instead of the last year or two. I think the issue of sexism within One Piece is complex, and it's not afforded the nuance it deserves from either side. I've stated multiple times I'm not a fan of powerscaling, but oh god is it terrible here, where it has somehow become prioritized for so many fans, even if it doesn't make sense from a narrative or character perspective. And maybe it's an overall media literacy problem, and I really don't mean to come off as a snob here because I certainly don't pick up on everything, but it's insane how many fans do not pick up on the core themes of the series, and just like it for...the fights. All of this to say, I have frustration as well with this fandom.

With the shipping, just always remember that they are ultimately headcanons, and you never have to agree with a headcanon to enjoy something, even if the headcanon is popular. One Piece can be tricky because I very much understand the desire to view things strictly as platonic, and in fact in canon this is what I want, I don't want any of my ships to be confirmed lmao. Where I get hung up a little bit though is that I think multiple characters in the series are queer coded, whether intentional or not. Of course there are the intentional ones like Iva and Bon Clay and Kiku, but I do genuinely believe a lot of the strawhats are queer coded as well, in particular Luffy, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, and Franky. I would be happy to expand on that more in another ask if you would like. But with these characters being queer coded, or at the very least they can be read that way, shipping seems like a natural progression for many fans, even if there is no romantic subtext to speak of. So all in all, I totally understand why shipping is a no go for you with One Piece, but this is my general thought process as I do ship some characters in the series.

TLDR anon is that I don't think you're strange at all, we gain and lose interest in things all of the time, and your concerns with the fandom and the series as a whole are valid I think, I've thought about a lot of the same stuff you have listed here even though I am a big fan.

#also ty for liking my blog and my bokuaka post i'm blushing omg <3 #man wouldnt be crazy if i built this whole blog around jjk and op and bokuaka is what im known for lmaooo #asks

[spicysix]

ok, so last week you guys helped me focus on my soulmate!AU fic - and i finished writing it and posted it! if you're interested in X reader fics, you can read it here. following my own rules, i headed to the second most voted, my jargyle summer challenge fic, and i was able to write over 3k words! thank you all so much for that!! (insert *it's not much but it's honest work* meme here lmao)

i was going to do another round this week, but i'll have my two long distance best friends coming over on wednesday, so i'll just enjoy their company for the week they'll be here - i'll still be around shitposting on tumblr, including to post going home updates, but my writing will be a little scarse

also thank you so much to everyone who tagged me in their WIPs posts and games, you can continue to tag me so I can still see your posts and engage with your writings!!

i'll come back in two weeks with another round of this! i really liked doing it. once again, thank you so much for joining and, as a treat, here's a snippet of the jargyle fic under the cut ♡

If someone asked him, Argyle is not sure he’d be able to retell the whole thing.

And, sure, maybe you can blame the weed a little bit. He might have partaken in it a few times here or there during the whole thing. It was right there at the van! How could he say no? Not at any of the big moments, though, of course not. He’s a stoner, not an idiot. He only smoked twice on the road when Jonathan was the one driving, that hotbox he did with Eden, beautiful goth goddess of his dreams, and once to bake the pizza during the whole freezer piggyback thing. When they got to Hawkins, he only collected mushrooms, didn’t do them. He didn’t even have the time.

It wasn’t any substance that made the next few weeks go by hazily.

It was just too much.

Chaos was installed when they arrived in Hawkins. Earthquakes had ripped open wounds into the soil of the small town — living, squeamish, bleeding wounds. Argyle learned later they were portals to the dimension under their own, where all the problems surrounding his friend’s family came from in the first place.

People were missing and hurt, some even died with the way the gates tore through houses and buildings, and the mood around Hawkins as they drove through it was rightfully sour.

Jonathan drove to his girlfriend’s house, some other people already there and it was a beautiful reunion, it really was, but Argyle felt out of place. They parted ways after, and the ones that had been there already headed to the High School to drop some donations — except for Nancy, who went inside the van and into the passenger seat as if she owned it.

It had been Argyle’s.

But it was okay, he stayed in the back with the kiddos.

They went to the hospital, one of them — the one Supergirl had mentally piggybacked on — was hurt and in a coma. Argyle waited in the van as the rest of them went in to see her — he didn’t know her, didn’t want to invade their space. It was okay, he was good at waiting.

After the visit they headed to an old cabin in the woods, abandoned, destroyed, pieces of its ceiling missing. Jonathan said Supergirl used to live there with her dad, the dead cop, and while they all reconnected and cleaned up the place, Argyle found those mushrooms that he didn’t use.

Didn’t even have the time to, because suddenly it was snowing ashes and he found his friends and his friend’s family — including his mom and a tall, skinny, bald guy, where did they come from? — looking over the city from the hill and the open field, and the flowers were dead and there was smoke coming from the place where all the portals met downtown.

Too much happening at the same time, and suddenly Jonathan was grabbing Argyle’s wrist and pulling him back to the van, “let’s go get the others, oh and by the way the tall, skinny, bald guy is the dead cop, oh and by the way my mom went to the Soviet Union to rescue him, oh and by the way the world is ending.”

#lui rambles #lui writes

[gatoplanet]

What would be your ideal storyline for klaus in s4?

ahhhh this is a good question - i don’t wanna get too invested in any one prediction and disappoint myself, and also s3 was vastly better than any of the possibilities i had floating around in my head lmao BUT!! even if i don’t have a lot of specific events in mind, i know what emotional beats i’d like his story to hit, if that makes sense? like, from how i’ve read klaus’s arc so far, what would feel like the most cohesive ending to me

in my mind tua as a whole is about overcoming maladaptive coping mechanisms and reclaiming agency, but also it’s got bants and superpowers to keep it from just being agonizingly depressing all the time. every sibling has a different way of dealing with their shared trauma, and imo klaus is very much the avoidant one - he dulls the world, distracts himself, occasionally fucks off to the jungle for ten months and falls in love, Just Klaus Things. idk how much of this is in the text and how much is just me rotating it in my brain for three years, but i see klaus’s original dave side quest as a) a necessary grounding element for what is otherwise a difficult character to run a thread through, and b) whatever the opposite of a stress test is?? not that being in vietnam wasn’t stressful, obviously it was a nightmare, but it was a self-contained nightmare with no connection to the main plot or to klaus’s history. there was more than enough going on to completely consume klaus for the time he was there. he got to exist separately from his usual self for a while, as well as the circumstances that cultivated that version of him, and i think of dave as a symbol of that, i guess. good narrative shorthand for ‘klaus went off by himself and got to do some growing, and then it got taken away and he’s back where he started with extra bonus sadness’

klaus getting sober to contact dave’s ghost and making long-term plans to help dave in the 60s are both him trying to reclaim part of the peace that he found and lost. but because he’s back in the environment that shaped him (aka the main plotline lmao) it’s not working. which is a big part of why i didn’t mind the lack of dave in s3 - klaus has to find a way to bring his peace into his actual life, and to do that, he has to face his life instead of avoiding it. he spends the season looking for his mother, learning about his powers, trying to bring his family together to get things done - all much more active things than we’ve seen from him in the past, and very believable ways for him to start to take the reins a little bit, i think!! except he’s not actually taking the reins, reggie still has the reins and is letting klaus pretend to hold them like a toy steering wheel in a grownup car. klaus isn’t confronting the source of the trauma, he’s confronting the symptoms. and then reggie turns on him, and it’s a testament to how much klaus’s character has already changed over the series that luther was able to talk him out of reverting back to full avoidance mode again

so klaus, god, what. backburnered his problems for 30 years, completely skipped out on his problems for ten months, liked what he found there, got dragged back unwillingly, and tried to face his problems for the first time only to have that backfire spectacularly thanks to the same person who gave him the problems in the first place. he’s somewhere unfamiliar without his power, which was both the source of a lot of his trauma and the thing that let him avoid further trauma (ie losing ben forever) for as long as he did. absolutely insane character situation. i’m chewing on my bluetooth keyboard. when robert said he wants to see klaus lose it a little without his powers, this is the shit that flashed before my eyes - yes, it would technically make his day-to-day life easier to not worry about ghosts all the time, but also his power was his failsafe!! the thing that caused him so much pain, that he’s been running from his whole life, is also literally what kept him alive in the first place!! it took his childhood and gave him his brother back!!!! and now it’s gone, both the bad and the good that came from it, and all that’s left are some gnarly addictions and the vague memory of being happy for a while. literally don’t look at me. fuck

all of that being said, to me a satisfying end for klaus would be some sign that he’s at least on the path towards reconciling his self-contained escapist happiness with his actual non-escapist life. i think his relationship with sparrow ben is gonna be a big part of that, since og ben was arguably the ‘good’ part of klaus’s powers-centric bad coping strategy, or at least the part that he was occasionally getting something positive from. i do also want to see him get his powers back, because i feel like ‘the trauma is solved by making the source of the trauma go away’ is not that great of a bow to tie on a series about the lingering effects of trauma lmao. i think there’s also space for dave in s4 to reprise his role as ‘symbol of the time klaus was happy but only because he Won At Avoidance’ - that could either mean klaus getting meaningful closure for the relationship, or bringing dave into his future in a healthy way as shorthand for him finally metabolizing the growth he did in ten-month jungle emotional rehab and incorporating it into his life

that is so many paragraphs i’m sorry. that’s a fucking essay. tumblr is gonna readmore me whether i like it or not

#kat planet’s klave hour

[mxliv-oftheendless]

Strangers with Memories

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY PEOPLE!! Or, if you don't like Valentines Day, it is also the birthday of @ladyshandioftheendless!!! So as a birthday gift, here is a story that dives back into the KISSteriaverse! Fair warning, this is gonna get REALLY SAD, which is ironic considering it's Valentines Day lmao (totally didn't do that on purpose... except I did lol). I was inspired to write this after listening to the song "Strangers" by Taemin, which is actually where this story's title comes from, and which you can listen to HERE if you want before reading this story! It's a beauuuutiful song.

Enjoy! And happy birthday, Shandi!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nikki hasn't seen Starchild in years. He hasn't even been to KISSteria in years. But he wants to prove to himself that he's moved on from everything that happened, that he could see Starchild and not feel heartache. He could do this... right?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nikki could do this.

It had been years since what happened. He hadn’t seen Starchild at all in those years. He steered clear of any diplomatic meetings with KISSteria (Vince would mercifully explain it away saying he was sick), he avoided any news about KISS on Earth, hell, he even avoided the “K” section in record stores. He hadn't looked at his hand in months, at the finger where a glowing purple string would have been tied… if it hadn’t been broken. He hadn’t even thought about Starchild in over five years. Their breakup and the whole mess around it involving demons and his possession was firmly in the past.

So when Vince got an invitation to come to KISSteria to renew Anarkia’s alliance with the KISSterians, Nikki felt like he could finally come along.

“You sure you’re good to come, dude?” Tommy asked as they got ready to leave.

“What are you talking about, Tom?” Nikki asked as he threw some clothes into a go bag. “Of course I’m good to come. You can introduce me to that royal court chick you keep seeing every time you go.”

Tommy laughed at that. “Yeah, sure. But listen… I know all… all that shit really messed you up. And I heard… um… he’s gonna be there. If you don’t wanna go…”

“I wanna go, Tom,” Nikki insisted. “I’ll be fine. Besides, we won’t be the only ones there. Aren’t the royals from Jendell gonna be there too?”

Tommy shrugged. “I dunno. Ask Vince.”

“Pretty sure he said they’d be there.”

“Alright, fine.” He punched Nikki’s shoulder with a grin. “Look at you, paying attention for once like a responsible person.”

“Fuck off,” Nikki laughed, whipping a shirt at him.

He could do this. He wouldn’t be alone there. It wouldn’t be awkward. Everything was in the past now. He could face the past. He could face what he’d done. He could face Starchild. He could do this.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

To Nikki’s delight, not only was the royal family of Jendell there, along with their aide, but so was Prince Michael and Nicholas from Hanoi. The two were accompanied by three young elves, who were practically climbing over each other as they gazed awestruck around the palace.

“Mikey!” Vince said gleefully, clapping the fairy on the shoulder. “Since when did you become a family man?”

The affectionate smile on Michael’s face seemed permanently fixed there as he watched Nicholas try to wrangle the three excited elves. “About a year ago. We found them outside the palace and decided to take them in.” He laughed as Nicholas had to run and prevent one of them from knocking over a decorative vase on a pedestal. “They’re a little excited to be leaving Hanoi for the first time.”

“Dude, we should show them the burn mark you made in the wall the first time we were here,” Nikki said to Tommy.

“Not sure why you’d wanna show that off,” Mick grumbled. “Didn’t they have to cover it with a tapestry cuz of your dicking around?”

“Sure did,” Tommy grinned proudly. “It’s been like, forever, and they still can’t get it out! I check every time we’re here!”

“I’ll bet you ten shots they finally got it out,” Nikki dared.

“Oh, you’re fucking on! I’m gonna go check right now!”

Mick sighed as Tommy dashed off. “I’ll go make sure he doesn’t wreck anything before the welcome ceremony,” he said resignedly, as though he was assigned this task every time they came to KISSteria (he was). He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and trudged off in Tommy’s direction.

Michael just laughed as Vince went off to say hello to Nicholas. “You all certainly haven’t changed,”

Nikki just laughed, not really wanting to get into the complexities of that. I definitely have… “Yeah…”

He couldn’t help trailing off as he scanned the hall. There was Nicholas, laughing with Vince; there were the three young elves, chattering excitedly as they looked up at a tapestry; there was Ace—he supposed he should call him King Ace now—and his aide in conversation… where was everyone else?

“Looking for someone?”

Nikki turned to find Michael giving him a politely inquiring look. “Uh, y-yeah—well, no, I just—maybe…” he finished lamely.

He really didn’t like the knowing look on Michael’s face. “I am sure the Prince will be here shortly to welcome us.”

“Oh, good… A-And the Elder, too! She’ll be here too.” Nikki hated how awkward he sounded when he laughed. Fuck, what was wrong with him? “She’s the queen, so… yeah. She’s gotta be here too.”

“Nikki… I confess I was a little surprised to see you here. The last time we all gathered in KISSteria, Vince told us you were sick.” Nikki felt like the knowing look was cutting into him. “Are you all right being here now?”

Nikki’s stomach dropped. He knows. “I… Yeah. Yeah, I’m all right.”

Michael just slowly nodded, making Nikki feel far too exposed for his comfort. “I’m serious!” he insisted. “I’m fine! It’s just gonna be a few days. Seriously, Mikey, I’m fine.”

Thankfully, Michael just nodded. “All right. I am glad you’re feeling well enough to come this time.”

“Y-Yeah… me too.”

He could do this. When Starchild came through the doors to welcome them all, he wouldn’t shy away. He wouldn’t run away from him like a vampire running away from sun. He could do this.

As soon as he thought that, the doors opened, and the Elder swept into the hall, looking as intimidating and regal as ever. And walking just behind her…

Nikki’s heart skipped a beat. There he was. There was Starchild.

He looked better, Nikki thought immediately. He couldn’t help remembering how Starchild looked the last time he saw him; stressed, drained, upset…

Heartbroken, his mind whispered.

But he didn’t look heartbroken anymore. He looked better. His livelihood was back. The glimmer of life was back in his eyes, though it seemed a little softer now and less excited. And Nikki was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to close the distance between them and…

But he stopped himself. He couldn’t. Starchild wouldn’t want that. He probably still didn’t want to even look at him, even though he probably knew Nikki would be here. Had he ever wondered how Starchild felt about things like that? About being forced to be in the same room as someone you loved or despised and not be able to express that? It was torture, having to stand there and pretend he didn’t have such a complicated history with Starchild.

And then suddenly the Elder and Starchild were right there, welcoming Vince to KISSteria. Nikki tried to focus on the Elder, instead of the man that stood behind her. He was just a few steps away. Nikki wished he was a mile away.

“And greetings to you, Nikki Terror,” the Elder was suddenly saying. “I am pleased you feel well enough to join us this time.”

Nikki was suddenly seized by a paranoid fear—did she know? Did she know what happened? Did Starchild tell her? He couldn’t tell anything from the pleasant smile on the woman’s face.

Calm the fuck down, Terror. Maybe she’s just welcoming you and commenting on how you haven’t been here in a while.

Nikki forced himself to calm down, giving her his signature smirk and an overdramatic bow. “Yep, I’m feeling great. And by the time I leave, you’ll probably be hoping I’m sick again next time.”

The Elder chuckled. “I don’t doubt it,”

As Nikki raised his head, his eyes unconsciously turned to see Starchild’s reaction. His heart leapt when he saw the smile on the man’s face. He was smiling at something Nikki said. Did that mean anything?

Nikki longed to be able to ask him. He longed to be able to get a moment alone with Starchild and ask him if that smile meant he was forgiven, if it meant Starchild didn’t hate him anymore. But he couldn’t. If Nikki wanted to prove he could face Starchild, he couldn’t do anything.

And so he let Starchild and the Elder walk away from them to go greet Michael and Nicholas. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He made it. One interaction had gone successfully.

“Dude, you okay?”

Nikki jumped at the whisper and realized Tommy was suddenly beside him. “Don’t fuckin’ scare me like that!” he hissed.

Tommy snickered. “Sorry. But seriously, you okay?”

Nikki blew out a breath and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He could do this.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A couple days later, Nikki found himself stuck at an event of some kind; a little party for the visiting diplomats, according to Vince. And so far, like these things always were, it was fucking boring.

He found himself keeping Mick company, sitting to the side while Mick talked to King Ace’s aide, who had introduced himself as Tomaziel. Mick had let it slip that he was originally from the Celestial realm, sparking a conversation between the two.

Nikki was trying to follow their conversation when he suddenly caught sight of a necklace hanging from Tomaziel’s neck. The pendant was oval, and covered with a turquoise finish, but Nikki could still see an eye through the turquoise. He couldn’t help looking a little closer at the eye, making out its brown color. That eye looked so familiar…

“Nikki, was it?”

Mick’s elbow suddenly nudged his side, and Nikki looked up to find Tomaziel looking his way. “Uh, sorry,” he said quickly. “I just… I saw your necklace.”

“Oh.” Tomaziel looked down at it with a smile. “I see. It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s nice.” Why did that eye look so familiar? “So, what’s with the eye?”

“Oh, well…” Tomaziel’s face suddenly turned a very light blue. “The one who gave it to me… it’s his eye.”

“You lucky bastard,” Nikki laughed before he could stop himself. “Your boyfriend gave you that?”

“That’s fucking weird,” Mick muttered as he took a swig of alcohol.

“Don’t mind him,” Nikki said gaily as he patted Mick’s shoulder. “He’s just jealous ‘cause he’s lonely.”

“Fuck you, Terror. I am not.”

Nikki ignored him, instead grinning at Tomaziel. “So, who’s the guy?”

Tomaziel laughed a little awkwardly. “Um… well…”

“Excuse me,”

Nikki looked up, even though he didn’t have to, already knowing who it was. Sure enough, Starchild stood behind Tomaziel’s chair with a polite smile. Nikki couldn’t help thinking to himself how handsome he looked in his formal purple robes. “Mind if I steal Tomaziel for a minute? I think Ace wanted to speak to him about something.”

Nikki didn’t say anything, just looked down at his drink. Mick waved a hand. “Sure, no problem.”

If Nikki had looked up, he would have seen Starchild’s smile widen ever so slightly. “Wonderful. Tomaziel?”

Tomaziel, who had been looking up at Starchild the whole time, set down his drink and stood. “I’m right behind you.”

Nikki couldn’t help watching the two as they walked away. Why wasn’t Tomaziel walking closer to Starchild? Why was he a few paces behind?

“Hey, dude!” Tommy suddenly plopped into the chair next to him. “That court chick is here if you wanna meet her!”

“Later, Tom,” Nikki heard himself say. He was too busy watching the two. Starchild had left the ballroom, through a door off to the side. Tomaziel was a few feet to the side, speaking to Ace. Then as Nikki watched, Tomaziel bowed his head, excusing himself, then turned and walked out the side door.

Something started to knot and twist in Nikki’s stomach. He knew that maneuver. He’d done it so many times before with Starchild. Did that mean… but they couldn’t…

Nikki suddenly shot to his feet. “I’ll be right back,” he said to no one. Then he made a beeline for the door.

The hallway beyond the door was dark as Nikki left the ballroom. The only light came from torches along the walls, casting the hallway in a dim glow. Nikki swiveled his head around, trying to figure out which direction he needed to go. They couldn’t be far.

And then Nikki heard it—muffled voices. He began walking in the direction he heard them, making sure to be quiet. He was about to turn a corner when suddenly—

“—want to steal you away and keep you in my bedroom.”

Nikki dove back behind the corner at Starchild’s voice. He heard a second voice stammer, sounding embarrassed. “I—Starchild!”

Nikki’s heart plummeted as Starchild laughed. That was Tomaziel.

“It’s true!” Starchild giggled.

A laugh from Tomaziel. “I would willingly go with you. It’s hard not being able to see you. Having this necklace, though… it does feel like I have a part of you with me.”

“Good,” Starchild sounded happy. “That’s the point.”

Something seized Nikki’s heart and began to strangle it as he heard Tomaziel sigh. Now he knew why that eye looked so familiar. He’d looked into that eye and its other thousands of times before.

“I missed you,” he heard Tomaziel say.

“I missed you, too. I’m so happy you could be here.”

“So am I. I couldn’t miss the chance to see you.”

“You came all this way just to see boring old me?”

“You…” whatever Tomaziel did in the pause made Starchild giggle, “could never be boring. And yes, I did. And I’d do it again, many times.”

Starchild laughed, and the sound made it feel like a knife was going through Nikki’s heart. He finally mustered up the courage to lean forward and peer around the corner.

There in the hallway were two figures. A torch flickered, and the flare of light made the stars on Starchild’s outfit and the silver detail on Tomaziel’s gleam for a moment. And as Nikki watched, the two of them hugged. And it was like they became one single being, the way they seemed to melt into each other’s embrace. The figure Nikki knew was Starchild rested his head on Tomaziel’s shoulder with a sigh.

“I’m so happy when I’m with you,” he said aloud.

A lump formed in Nikki’s throat. He couldn’t stay here. He had to get away.

So he sprang away from the wall and took off back toward the ballroom, not caring if Starchild and Tomaziel heard. He couldn’t focus on anything except the feeling of his heart breaking in his chest.

Starchild had moved on. He had moved on completely. It wasn’t just what happened between them that was in the past—Nikki was now in the past as well.

“Nikki?”

Nikki skidded to a stop right before he crashed right into Michael. It appeared he’d re-entered the ballroom, and thankfully no one was looking his way. Except Michael, who gave him a look of concern. “Is everything all right?”

“I…” Nikki’s throat closed up. He felt like crying. But he willed himself not to cry. He was not going to fucking cry. “I’m… I’m not… feeling good…”

Michael nodded. “I see,”

“W-Will you… tell Vince I’m gonna g-go to bed?”

“I will. Get some sleep. I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning.”

No, he wouldn’t. It was a nice sentiment, but Nikki knew he wouldn’t feel better in the morning. “O-Okay. Thanks, Michael…”

And just when Nikki thought it couldn’t be worse, that was when he saw Starchild re-enter the ballroom and go over to the Elder. Nikki’s heart shattered all over again at the smile on Starchild’s face. He looked happy, far too happy. Nikki wanted to scream at him to stop looking so happy, that he knew where he’d been, and who he’d been with to make him smile like that.

“Nikki,”

Almost gratefully, Nikki turned back to Michael. The fairy’s face looked sympathetic. Stop fucking looking at me like that! “I want you to know, you can come to me for help if you ever need it. I know you prefer to do things on your own, but if you ever feel the need for help, you can always ask for it.”

Nikki almost didn’t want to say anything, because he was afraid he’d either start raging or crying… or even do both. He managed a nod, then willed his voice not to shake. “Okay,”

Michael reached out to pat his shoulder. “I will go tell Vince you left,”

“Thanks…”

But as Michael walked away, Nikki heard Starchild laugh, and his head turned before he could stop himself. Starchild was smiling and laughing as he talked to Ace. And there was Tomaziel, standing next to Ace and not talking, but his eyes fixed only on Starchild with a small grin of his own.

Nikki had never seen Starchild look so relaxed and happy. Not even when he was with you.

There was another stab of pain in his chest—his heart was shattering all over again. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Starchild got to get back up and move on and even find someone else, while Nikki was alone and broken. It was like something inside Nikki was keeping him from moving forward. Why didn’t Starchild have something keeping him back? It wasn’t fucking fair.

He felt like hitting something, or crying. They were in the same room, full of people they had mutually known for years. They had known each other for years. And he really wasn’t that far away; he just had to walk a small distance and he would be right there, able to talk to him like they were old friends. But no, he couldn’t. Because they weren’t even friends anymore, were they? Starchild was miles and miles away, pretending Nikki was a complete stranger, and Nikki was alone.

Nikki dug his nails into his palms and finally turned away to leave the ballroom. He couldn’t do this.

#shandi's kissteriaverse #starterror #well formerly #like it's been years #fun fact i actually made myself sad writing this one lol #i had “strangers” playing on a loop while i wrote it #spacechild #officially #this also takes place before shandi's story about nikki and Sweet the Undine #i tried to link that story to the overall 'verse #but anyways #sorry nikki #don't worry you'll be okay soon #hope you enjoyed! #kiss au writing #my writing #happy birthday shandi!!!!!!!!!

[kellykadesperate]

hi hey!! :3 i am back lolol <3

i SCREAM, the fast and furious comparison LMAO. you are so so right, i cannot unthink this now djdjdjdjd. it's sad because both Fast and 911 started out pretty good but then just went on. and on. and on. i really wonder how long 911 will actually stay until they realize that they've completely overshot it. your reply made me think more about the family dynamics in the show. in the first season specifically, we actually had a setup with the main characters (except hen, i think) who, in some way or another, were or at least felt kinda alone? the show being about found family made a lot of sense for all characters back then. however, they simply are at a completely different point 5 seasons later that it just falls flat. you're right, all of them got their own family units outside of work now, all of them do sm better mentally and emotionally, and none of them feel as connected to each other anymore because of that (and maybe because the necessity for it simply does not exist any longer). so why go on with this shtick? then again, isn't that also true for 911 LS, with them having family outside of their crew? however, somehow it feels different to me, and i think i can pinpoint the reason: 911 LS actually invested time to build up friendships on screen and continuously makes an effort to show the characters bonding, so i truly believe it when they say that they are friends. with OG 911, they are "family", but i do not really feel it anymore? i do not wanna sound too harsh but it's simply my current feelings. family does not automatically equal being close, and i think the show has lost the plot a bit with actually, yk, showing us that these characters are real true friends who would hang out even if you removed all other family ties. i cannot for the life of me recall a reason why buck and chim, hen and eddie, eddie and maddie etc would actually hang out if they weren't "connected" by work or some pre-existing family ties.

ohhh, i completely forgot about the whole firefighter albert thing. it came out of nowhere, and i was mostly just ??? about it, though excited to see him being a reoccurring character! alas, that bubble burst quickly, like with all other secondary/side characters that seemed promising at first and then petered out :(. i liked the fact that he did not enjoy the job as much as chim! to me, it felt a bit like chim was maybe trying to connect to albert through the job the way that he himself connected to kevin in the past? the idea would add some depth, especially if albert still chooses to do something else in his life and has to communicate why firefighting might simply not be for everybody. i would like to see how this plays out but i want to be really honest... i am not even sure i won't just skip past any of that even if we get it. at this point, the majority of the show feels very inconsequential, i cannot really bring myself to invest energy in truly liking side characters (i am mostly just indifferent), and the writing is often quite wonky and unsatisfactory anyway, so my own headcanons or speculations usually end up being more interesting to me in comparison sksksksks. i do not expect a real moment of clarity and it leading to anything substantial so i just (shrug emoji).

everything appears heightened but ultimately is so so low stakes and so easily solvable. exactly this. i can enjoy some silly drama shows with stakes so low that they are on the ground, just to be clear, but the show must know to not take itself so damn seriously at the very least. i think 911 kinda fails at that – it wants to be so deep but like, we're standing in a kiddie pool right now, good sir, calm down LOL.

I feel like the show would genuinely benefit from a shock death or something that would change everything completely … Idk I just feel like sometimes the very slightest change is seen as devastating to the group lmao. yes and an even bigger YES to those two points! i think it needs some new goal, and one new goal could be bobby leaving (for traumatic reasons or not) and somebody else stepping up as captain permanently, or it could be something entirely different. i did not and still do not think that they'll have the guts to actually do it, though, so i was not worried a single second about the finale of season 6 or at any other point. especially when looking at the second thing you pointed out: the show cannot even be normal about depicting the normalest changes in life lmfao. this is also connected to how you said that the "additions to the team" feel "calculating" - yes yes yes. the show just desperately wants to drive home the fact that the only Good Team of the 118 fire station is the main characters. everybody else cannot understand them because they're actually normal about their job ig. everybody else is just accessory to establish this fact again, and again, and again. and that's kinda the crux of the show's problem: when you establish the fact that literally nobody could ever truly fit into or enrich their current family dynamic, meaning that the family dynamic is not allowed to change permanently ever, you know that none of these characters are allowed to go anywhere. otherwise, you'd lose the one point you're trying to bring across with the show. so going in circles forever it is!

It makes both characters really unlikable and I know there's a bigger narrative at play in both characters but that's not explored enough. 10000% with you on this topic. i'd loooove to both of them to just... stay single for at least a whole season or longer with zero interest in dating. mostly because i think the show would genuinely not know what to do with buck and eddie if it wasn't pushing them into their next romantic endeavor that they are not ready for every damn season. and that is OKAY, for them not to be ready! all i need is for the show to acknowledge that not-dating is not some disease that will make them die a miserable, pathetic, lonely death! i challenge 911 to give them friends and hobbies instead and actually build a life and story for these characters that is not painfully amatonormative pls pls pls. i agree with what you said: these characters have more overarching stories but the show simply doesn't drive those storylines purposefully enough. we do see development here and there (buck choosing his one-person armchair and being happy with it, i.e. he deliberately chooses to stay single over being with someone who does not accept who he is; eddie truly confronting his past trauma for the first time and finally going to therapy, realizing that he should create a good life for his own sake) but it all still ends in romance anyways. which, yk, would not feel so bad and flat to me if the complete lack of other meaningful things in their lives wouldn't be so evident at this point.

your reply actually reminded me again of all the times i enjoyed 911 LS more than OG 911 simply because they understood the assignment when it comes to writing solid friendships and how they are supposed to look like! indeed, the setup of them all coming together as strangers was very interesting, a "clean slate" for all, and there were so many moments where they all just. hang out. just chilling and vibing together. in the gym and the bunk room and at carlos' place etc! i can still remember so many scenes where it felt like they are friends not because they work together – they met through work, yes, but they make a conscious effort outside of the work context to stay close/become closer! gah, this makes me wanna catch up with the show again :')

ah yes, owen strand. in all honesty, i did not like the choice of him being such a big focus point either. the real strength truly lies in all the other characters, who all really bring something to the table. i was honestly invested in all their stories because they seemed to have something outside of work that is integral to their identity, and that just stands out positively in comparison to OG 911, where the characters' contribution to the narrative and society seems to be mostly linked to their job, and their relationships are also mostly tied through their jobs. 911 LS generally focusing more on the characters' uniqueness, no matter if it's their race, religion, culture, disabilities, or any queer topics, relativizes the importance of their jobs without overshadowing it. yes, they do incredibly essential work for society, and they love doing what they do, but they all have some things in their lives that are much more essential to them as people. taking away their uniforms only reveals how these characters' lives are not solely defined by their jobs, which i cannot really say for the OG 911 characters.

It's made things actually feel like choices genuinely matter. true!! tk becoming a paramedic is a wonderful example, but also so many other things. how the strands moved from nyc to texas, how the other characters (except judd) also moved to texas, as one pivotal point of the show. owen explicitly chose these firefighters to form a new crew because they were successful in the job before coming to texas, telling us that (a) they were accomplished adults before the new "found family" was even established and (b) were still able to recreate that success as a newly formed team. that sounds like the kind of take on found family that i would want to see depicted in OG 911 as well, and it also immediately sets up a certain freedom for the characters to make permanent, life-changing decisions that are allowed to be for the better. much unlike OG 911, where everything that challenges or remodels the found family must always be Bad™. also the fact that these choices get made and actually change the course of a character's career or life is so important for my enjoyment. they get a chance to show that they support each other through these changes and that these changes do not have to negatively affect their friendships. THAT is how a healthy found family should work imo.

interesting to compare these two. the shows are somehow alike but so so so different. btw do you watch any shows that you think are better than 911 and 911 LS regarding the points of criticism that we've discussed? :O i am currently looking for new shows to try out, but idk what the next thing could be. i definitely need something that is overall more well-written than 911 to cleanse my palate, though, LOL. recs are appreciated but no pressure <3

hey hey!

i cannot for the life of me recall a reason why buck and chim, hen and eddie, eddie and maddie etc would actually hang out if they weren't "connected" by work or some pre-existing family ties - OH THIS. I think with 911ls they make a thing of like hangouts and being silly and I also like how Judd is never there lmao. Judd has a wife and children and that again makes a lot of sense. He loves his team but they're not his family. He has strong friendships but he goes home to his wife. A lot of the crew are around the same age, and have similar interests and so that makes sense. With 911 they're not close in that sense, and we don't see them close in that sense despite being very involved in each other's personal life lol. They're all settled and content in some way or another and that makes characters like Buck stand out because he's not. And in comparison therefore: he's messy. He's poor little has no clue what he wants Buck in a way that feels like they're almost laughing at him lmao. So yeah that seems like a big difference between the shows/characters. Saying that though, I do think although 911ls show that they're more like friends, we see a lot less of the in-depth talks/chat 1:1 friendship stuff we have on 911 so it's all a mixed bag.

the majority of the show feels very inconsequential, i cannot really bring myself to invest energy in truly liking side characters - yep yep yep, i love side characters who break up some of the big tension of the show and for a show like 911 bringing in new characters should be fairly easy. I always forget that Eddie isn't an OG S1 character. But yes, when there's such investment in the core characters it obviously falls at the complete expense of any side characters they have attempted to build on.

i think 911 kinda fails at that – it wants to be so deep but like, we're standing in a kiddie pool right now - LOOL yes. I do think a lot of it comes down to having good serious actors on the show and wanting to lead into the drama they can bring and it's all well and good but at the same time, I really think the show thrives when it's silly. Some of the most memorable episodes have been the full moon one, the oceans 11 type one etc. It's fun and silliness is really just ... fun and silly ! It makes it what it is. If it wants to be dramatic, give me drama with lifelong consequences.

everybody else cannot understand them because they're actually normal about their job ig - IDK why but I just find this so funny. It really is just ... a job, a rewarding remarkable, amazing job. It just feels weird when they really hammer home how close the crew are and important they are but really don't show them all hanging out for extended periods of time. In fact they make a point of showing them hanging out separately: Chimney and Hen, Buck and Eddie, Hen and Athena even. It's just a choice!

genuinely not know what to do with buck and eddie if it wasn't pushing them into their next romantic endeavour - Like??? I was fully convinced Kameron was going to try and kiss Buck or something, I still kinda think they'll go there because ... why not!

but it all still ends in romance anyways - Yeah exactly this. I think without them meaning to it sets some sort of tone that doesn't feel ... nice? It feels like 'now he is content with being happy/working on himself he will have a romantic partner to top it all off' and like yes I get it was the finale but it does feel like going round and round in circles with both of them. Either give them permeant girlfriends they genuinely like lmao and build on that fully or just have them be single and explore their life a bit more. The whole destined to be alone, unloved, I'll never find someone who knows me is just ... I'm sick of it and makes both characters feel like they actually don't know what they want. I really did laugh when Buck was like Natalia sees me for me, she SEES me and it was like?? is this the writers telling us she's the one?? Or were we supposed to pick up on that? Like are we supposed to pay attention to this woman? Because look what happened with Taylor

it felt like they are friends not because they work together – they met through work - Oh my god yes. Yes. That's it. It's the idea that they genuinely enjoy each other's company/admire each other and want to hang around after work to continue seeing each other. It's sweet. I even remember when they did a mini sl about Nancy feeling like she wasn't part of the crew and made a point of being like: Is she invited to hangouts? No. Let's invite her. It also makes the idea of them invested in each other's lives seem a little truer, more authentic rather than them hearing about snippets of things on the way to calls (I don't think they've ever done that set up the way 911 do)

911 LS generally focusing more on the characters' uniqueness - Yeah! Obviously when you have a show with loads of cast members it's tricky to find some sort of difference to make them stand out, have them all shine and I think the show has got better at allocating sl's because the first 2 seasons were so Owen centric and he still manages to worm his way into sl's but at least there's an effort to have sl's completely separate from him.

telling us that (a) they were accomplished adults before the new "found family" was even established and (b) were still able to recreate that success as a newly formed team - THIS. They are adults. They had a job interview/were recruited because they had something special and we as an audience got to see that straight away, and see that in action. IDK I just think it's a lot easier to let your audience see a group of friends grow into a family than start by showing them THIS IS THE FIREFAM FAMILY

they support each other through these changes and that these changes do not have to negatively affect their friendships - I think a good example of this (again don't read if you haven't seen s3) but the end of s2 shows that the firehouse is effectively shut down, and they all have to go their separate ways and it just shows a nice way of moving these characters along but not damaging ties they still have. It was a really nice/interesting take and was genuinely surprising/made me think how are they going to get out of this?

I don't know about recs that are the same vibe but I would definitely recommend: Severance, Succession, Abbott Elementary (they're all so so different but amazing writing!)

#answered asks

[fixated-frenzy]

💕R’s top 5 best Pixar movies of all time

It’s always been a challenge for me to truly find my favorite Disney movies. There’s so many good ones, so today I’m going to categorize my favorite Pixar movies instead of all disney movies. Pixar has some great movies, but which one is the best? Keep in mind that there really aren’t that many Pixar movies out there. I was actually pretty surprised when I saw how little there were. This is all my opinion and feel free to agree or disagree!

5. Toy Story 3

Toy Story is a classic no doubt, but in my opinion it’s not the greatest. Don’t get me wrong, I love all Pixar movies, but toy story just isn’t the best. Now, the original Toy Story was good, but didn’t have much life to it, and the sequel was a bit more interesting. But Toy Story 3 really takes a punch out of all of them and I think it’s even better than ts 4!

4. Cars

Now cars is where it gets a bit more interesting. Not my favorite, but still a classic. The beginning of the story hooks you with a cocky race car thinking he has to be the greatest racer ever and he eventually gets lost in a small town and learns that life is a Highway! (bad joke) This movie has lots of laughs for the whole family to enjoy and it’s hard for it to get old.

3. The incredibles

The Incredibles doesn’t really have any life lesson or anything beneficial to a learning degree, however, this movie has lots of traits that make it enjoyable for the whole family. The action scenes, the animation, and the family dynamic make this movie memorable. I think this one is almost the best one out of them all because of everything in one movie. Action, romance, drama, happy scenes, sad scenes, and superpowers. Not much to explain except for the fact that its literally in the title. Incredible! (Another bad joke)

2. Up

This one’s a real tear jerker, but a great one nonetheless. This one is a story about an old man who loved a woman for years that died, so he became cold and distant. He never got to go to paradise falls with Ellie, so he goes on an adventure with her in spirit by floating his house away with balloons. This story can make anyone cry and hits very close to home. When Mr. Fredricksen finally opened up his heart and realized that Ellie isn’t coming back, that’s when he found closure. And that’s also when I cried lmao.

Honorable mentions

-Toy story (original)

-turning red

-inside out

1. Finding Nemo

Where do I even begin? Pixar did an amazing job making this movie and it will forever be a classic and my favorite Pixar movie of all time. This beautiful story about this fish named Marlin who lost all of his kids and his wife is left only with his son Nemo. So understandably, he’s very protective of him. Nemo gets taken by a sea diver and Marlin does everything in his power to find his son. From the beautiful animation of the sea, to the amazing characters who give the story life, to dory adding comic relief, to a story about family and love? This story has it all and I believe that this will stay my favorite Pixar movies for years to come.

And that’s it! I love all of these Pixar movies from the bottom of my heart. Soon I’m thinking just 3D animated Disney movies because apparently tangled and big hero 6 aren’t Pixar, but I love those movies a lot. Which ones your fave?

#toy story #toy story 3 #cars #cartoons #animation #finding nemo #disney pixar #the incredibles #up movie #3d animation

[babysxbreathe]

Clearly, i love deeply. Unapologetically. Loud and proud.

I cant sleep right now. I had a dream about Ricky last night and ive just had a ton of them recently with him so i’ve got to thinking all day today on it. I dont want to reach out because i dont wanna do what he did to me when he messaged Fran on separate occasions and i found out about.

I remember he would tell me ‘’he didn’t” and that he got hacked and all these other bullshit lies 😒 so i totally stopped trusting him. And in a lot of ways I know I didnt provide a safe space for him to tell me the truth. We were also kids. But i know he had a good ass heart. My family loved him and to this day my grandpa asks about him and where he went 🙄. But yeah. If he’s still with the girl he left me for then i have no intention of messaging him again. I dont wanna disrespect her and cross any lines. But i do hope one say we have that conversation. Especially since he didnt even face me when he broke up with me. I think i got ptsd from that relationshp but ive learned a lot from it.

He taught me love. Like that was my first love. First EVERYTHING. I think i still have the note of our “first underwater kiss” lmao we were so toxic jesus christ. On and off on and off. From that relationship i learned that im huge on honesty. Its the biggest thing i look for in a person. Also, he was able to provide what i want in a relationship like being shown off and being protected and he was very secure about himself. Like he NEVER told me he thought he looked ugly. He had this confidence that i always wanted (and now i do have) he got along with all types of people and didnt give a fuck about what others thought of him. He just wanted to live life and love hard.

Those are the exact types of people i surround myself with now a days anyway. I finally got to that level but i know i can still improve and continue to tweak things out so im proud of myself of how far ive come.

Enzo…. Honestly my dude, u didnt teach me MUCH except like knowing how it felt to have someone being needy and love bomby too soon and why its a red flag. Im sure you’ve gotten better now that you’re married and i def wish you the best but i dont think i was ready for a relationship with you at the time lol. Im sure theres a few more but our relationship didnt impact me till you gave me herpes and told me i probably got it from Ricky 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Jose. This one is very much still fresh. I have love for you, but i dont love you. Im sorry i tried to change you. You’re not a project but i was very much correct to have broken up with you in the first place and i wish i stayed broken up with you so this second ending wouldnt have been so intense as it was. I think during the first breakup, i was just depressed. My body and mind really only saw the good in you because we were friends for so long first. And now i look back and i wouldnt even want a friend like you. Not because you arent funny and cool to hang out with but your priorities are so out of wack. With the whole Sam Claudia and Hillary situation like i feel compelled to say that i genuinely believe you’re going about it the wrong way. I think you were so polar opposite to ricky that i thought it would help make me feel like you can help me fix myself. But we just were not compatible in any way shape or form.

I thought you were quiet because you were respectful, turns out you just dont know how to communicate or confront people correctly. You did teach me patience. You gave me the opportunity to learn who i was and what i want and what i need and require from people and helped be there for me and gave me the push to go to therapy. Now that ive been going to therapy for over a year, im so happy that i found myself. I sometime miss you, i cant lie. But your friends arent all great people, you guys always have some drama going around and you don’t have boundaries. You’re very much a people pleaser but i guess i was like that too before therapy. We def mirrored each other a lot until i started going to therapy and then i felt like i was trying to carry you ahead with me hut you decided to stay behind. I hate how you would disrespect me when you were mad, how petty you got and how when you were angry you would give me sarcasm and raise your voice. I hate that you would stop talking to me for hours on end during these times when communication was needed the most. I hate that you would never post about me, compliment me on your own, plan dates, or understand me. I hate that you would always keep me at arms length, you never asked me out officially again, you would get mad at me for things i wasnt allowed to get mad at. I hate how you would only bring up your feelings of resentment when i would express mine first then trying to make it about you. I hate that you wouldnt really listen, you would just try to fix the conversation. I hate that i never felt understood and that so many of our photos i would remember crying at least once. I have so many photos of me crying with you. When you would prioritize your friends before me and me before your family. Like cmon jose, you’ll understand when you’re older but yeah jeez. You were really mean when you got mad. Super duper mean. I meant it when i said you were the most disrespectful boyfriend i had. Genuinely. And i wish it werent true but jesus i never felt so humiliated than when you ignored me crying while we were all together with your friends. While you laughed and talked to them knowing i was crying right next to you and they would ask me if i needed tissues. Also the time during the disney trip with my friends and how you just looked at your phone on the couch while i was crying in sammys room and she had to bitch at you because everyone could hear i was crying but you didnt care to do anything. I dont get it. I never understood you. Theres just things you have to figure out for yourself like i did with myself.

I know i wish ricky wouldve still been my friend because he was a good guy in general and enzo was JUST a good friend but when i think about jose im like damn, you are not a person i would want as a friend in general. Im just at such a different place in my life and im looking for specific qualities in people. You got a lot of growing up to do. I apologize for my own mistakes in our relationship. I know i wasnt perfect but i know i def tried harder than any other ex i was with. This relationship was a very much more real love for me. Like a self aware love. And ill always be grateful for what i learned with jose and how ill never put up with the things jose put me through ever again.

#crickyricky #me #mine #just some thoughts #space cowboy #🍐

[drbtinglecannon]

I know I'm literally decades late to the party but I just finished watching Cowboy Bebop and I'm just sitting here like

#cowboy bebop #i knew going in [REDACTED] dies. like everyone has known for forever. it was still sad to watch #i also just have a lot of mixed feelings cuz it was visually stunning with good music. good humor. diverse designs of bipoc and lgbtq peopl #and the rep was pretty decent esp considering when it came out. and the creativity and designs of the environment #the way it was so anti capitalism #but it also did the whole 'found family except not lmao go back to your abusive ex families cuz you gotta 🤗' at the very end #every SINGLE major char plot point was 3yrs ago. im not even exaggerating. for every char. every. single. one. 3yrs ago. #and there is a LOT of shit in the show that is just. never explained or explored enough. also the ages are wack Jet is NOT 36 hes in his 50 #also vicious is the lamest antagonist ive ever seen lmao. hes so fucking boring and uninteresting i can barely remember what he looked like #and i literally just finished the last ep lmao #it also did the creepy 'hey grown man wanna date this teenager ;)' baiting with everyone encouraging it. thankfully it didnt pan out tho #ed and ein's story arc was fucking bullshit and made me so angry thats how it ended. just. absolutely fuck that #i can't tell if i enjoyed or hated this show. its such a mixed bag. i can say it was definitely iconic & visually stands the test of time #tc posts

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Hello! I like your idea of Gojo x student reader! (Thank you for making it platonic!)

Can I request Gojo seeing his precious students fight (not in the playful banter they usually do, I’m talking real animosity and beef) with each other and him stepping in and IMMEDIATELY shutting it down. Cause 1. No fighting in his classroom, and 2. He hates seeing tension between his babies!

I can see him being the mediator, and calming everybody down. De escalating the situation.

Warnings: Mentions of death, curses. Language.

"You should've tried harder" that was it. The spark that was needed to light the oily rags of tension in the room. A failed mission. Dead innocents. Devastated students. Emotions were bound to explode at some point.

"What the hell did you just say?"

"I said" they stood up, their whole body tensed in a way you'd never seen before.

"You should have fought harder! If you did maybe those kids would still be alive!"

"Y-you YOU THINK I DIDN'T TRY HARD ENOUGH?! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT HUH?!"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BLAMING ME WHEN YOU WEREN'T EVEN THE ONE THERE"

"Guys stop! Fighting like this isn't going to solve anything!"

"Tch, always the level head huh, it pisses me off you know, sometimes I wonder if you even care, or just putting on an act!"

"What?! How can you say that?! Of course I care!"

"If you care so much, how could you let something like this happen huh?!"

"Do you think you blaming us is helping?! You weren't there how could you possibly understand what it was like fighting that curse!!"

"I UNDERSTAND THAT IF I WAS THERE I WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN UP!"

"GIVEN UP?! WE DIDN'T GIVE YOU YOU ASSHOLE WE WERE BEATEN DOWN AND ALMOST DIED!!"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE FOUND A WAY, THATS WHAT BEING A JUJUTSU SORCERER IS ALL ABOUT, IF YOU CAN'T EVEN PROTECT A COUPLE KIDS WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO EVEN BE SORCER-ACK"

*Punch*

"!!"

"YOU THINK IF YOU WERE THERE IT WOULD'VE MADE A DIFFERENCE?!, YOU'RE JUST LIKE THE REST OF US, SO GET OFF YOUR FUCKING HIGH HORSE AND STOP RUNNING YOUR DAMN MOUTH"

"YOU REALLY PISS ME OFF YOU KNOW THAT!"

-Rears arm to punch.

-Theres a whooshing sound but no one is paying attention.

"Enough" a deadly and calm voice suddenly ordered.

Dangerously serious eyes.

Eyes that made everyone pause.

A rare moment from Satoru Gojo.

His students could do whatever the hell they wanted except one thing. And that was fight amongst themselves.

He was hardly serious for anything in his life. But he wouldn't tolerate this, so the moment he overheard what was going on, he intervened.

And all it took was a few words.

"Enough, go back to your rooms. Now. We'll talk tommorow" perhaps if his eyes weren't sending piercing arrows, someone would have argued. But no one did.

Instead they withdrew with sunken forms and left. Tommorow he would talk with them all. Explain that it was no ones fault and that fighting amongst each other placing blame was never a good idea. Tommorow he would be back to his silly self, and buy them food after the serious discussion. But today? Today he was serious Sensei Gojo who wouldn't tolerate fighting. After all, your comrades are often the only family you'll ever have...and to be honest, he hated seeing his babies fight...

***********

Hope this was ok! I wrote it in a bit of a different style, that way u can imagine who is saying what. It was lowkey funny writing the yelling lmao

Please lemme know what you thought! And also don't be shy to request more xoxo💕🥰

#satoru gojo #satoru gojo x students #gojo x student #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagine #gojo #self insert #gojo x student reader #gojo x reader platonic #platonic #imagine #angst #drabble #satoru gojo x reader #gojo fic #gojo imagine #yuuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #gojo x reader #nobara kugisaki #inumaki #inumaki toge #fushigoro toji #toji #jjk

[yesimwriting]

hiii, this might seem weird but do u have any head cannons for when the reader is pregnant and how the Darkling would react?

a/n love this concept,, it's not weird at all!! i feel like there's so much here!! also i leave for college this month and im lowkey starting to freak out so ive been watching star wars movies for comfort 😭and now i have half a mind to write for them, especially the prequels (cough, cough,, anakin) 😭 😭 that should tell you where i am mentally

anyways lets get into the headcanons:))

--

- okay so like most of my headcanons, this is probably going to be all over the place bc i feel like so many different things could change how he would react. Like if the darkling x reader have been trying to get pregnant, or an unplanned pregnancy with someone he really likes, i also think whether or not the reader is a grisha affects his reaction too

- in general though, i think he'd lowkey have a breeding kink he'd def find something about the thought of you having his child really attractive bc for one thing, he wouldn't have to worry about being left alone and now he has an excuse to be a real 'protector'.

- also if youve read my other headcanons i am 100000% convinced that he has this thing where if he really likes someone he needs them to need him (let's all remember the whole 'i will strip you of everything you know and love speech until I'm your only shelter' speech he gave to Alina)

- also i kinda want to write a fic or blurb series or something that's just the darkling being super toxic in super thoughtful ways LMAO if that makes sense, like he's being super sweet but it's to make sure the reader is dependent on him

- and he def wants to be the protector to give himself some sense of assurance bc he's so desperate to not be alone anymore and bc the reader is the only person he has/loves, he wants to feel in control and like he's the less attached one

- okay,, let's get back to the pregnancy thing, anyways, your pregnancy is most definitely activating all of those senses and this was meant to be a sub plot but it kind of became it's own thing lol

- so lets get to the actual pregnancy reaction

if you two have been trying to get pregnant:

- when you tell him, he kind of like, pauses bc it's not every day that he gets surprised so it takes him a moment to register that he's experiencing shock lol, so he tenses and goes islent

- and then after he realizes that he's surprised and that it's bc of a good thing, he manages to relax

- meanwhile you're kind of freaking out bc he got so quiet?? you start to wonder if he's regretting ever wanting a child with you? and you're like two seconds away from a downspiral and then he...

- he touches your cheek and looks at you in a way you've never seen him look at anyone,, not even you

- the look is so warm and strong and full of fierce admiration that you feel foolish for ever thinking he didn't want this. And then he says something about how you're carrying his child and how he didn't realize he could adore you more and then he kisses you and it's all :)) warm:)

- he doesn't want anyone to know that he's expecting a child as long as possible bc of how many enemies he has and how he has to worry about you enough when people just know that you're his 'lover' (a title you never really liked, but one he tells you is necessary to make sure no one realizes the extent of his attachment)

- if you really want to tell your mother or someone of that relation, he won't be mad about it, but he just needs to know

- Genya is the only exception bc the darkling basically instructs her to look out for you,, but when you tell her she's like oh?? you guys just found out?

- miss girl most definitely noticed like a day and a half ago after you cried bc she couldn't find you ice cream the other night 😭and she just assumed you knew but weren't ready to tell anyone

- okay so this what i think is his most problematic expecting father trait would be. So i just ranted about how important secrecy would be to him but he's also the most overprotective person in the entire world,, like he was bad before but once he knows your with child?? yeah, if a man asks you about the weather, he's done for

- he's next to you in a second, ordering either you or the man to do some asinine task

- if you get mad about this (rightfully so) or even just point out how nothing is wrong and you having a casual conversation with a man who isn't even looking at you sexually won't hurt you or the baby, he'll lose rationality

- it depends on how much you push, but it'd be super easy to make him super possessive bc like i said, being bonded by a child has made him so much more intense (and he was pretty intense before)

- and if you push too much he'll lowkey forget about how cautious he's trying to be with you and pin you against the nearest wall and say something along the lines of 'are you already forgetting you're mine? that i own you, body and soul--is my child growing in you not enough of a reminder? because i'll give you another one if you need it.' (AH--i want to write a whole fic based on this line)

- also if the reader is grisha, especially if she's a sun summoner/special grisha like him, he def talks about the power that they've created and how proud he already is and how he can't wait to train together and be the most powerful family in the world

- not everything is perfectly happy though, bc now he feels more pressure to complete his plan and establish the world he wants his child to be born into

- so sometimes when he's working extra hard or is extra aggressive for no reason, you have to work at calming him down and reminding him that the best thing he can do for his child is be there for them (and the child's mother,, lol)

- sometimes he'll respond by actually listening to you and trying to make up for his absence or his aggression by being extra soft until you finally forgive him

- you never last that long, it's hard to be mad at him when he's coddling you and whispering such sweet things about he's so happy to have you and your future child

- overall, his first reaction is to swell with emotion, which he isn't used to, and so he becomes super protective but also extra lovey and you know that his overreactions are just him trying to show that he cares about you and your future child more than anything

If the pregnancy was unplanned:

- the initial reaction is pretty similar, only his state of shock lasts longer

- like i said at the beginning, he's not used to being surprised and an accidental pregnancy is so much more surprising than a planned pregnancy

- this really sucks for you bc he's not exactly known for his patience so you just kinda sit there and genuinely wonder if you're going to be a single mom or if you're going to want to deletus the fetus or something

- but then he takes a step towards you and you see how he's looking at you and you just know that that fierceness has to mean something good

- and at this point you're scared and nervous and feel so alone so tears are pricking at your eyes,, so he wipes his thumb across your cheek to wipe away tears you won't let spill

- he then whispers something really sweet about how you two are now together forever, as you should be

- it's really relieving bc you felt so alone and uncertain and he's such a smooth speaker that by the end of the night, you feel like this is a good thing

- if youre still hesitant/weighing your options, he's not above trying to (gently) manipulate you into thinking that what he wants may be the only way

- by that,, i don't mean outright tricking you bc he means everything he says, but he def is pushing the keeping the baby agenda,, especially if you're a grisha,, and even more so if you're a grisha with similar power levels to him

- he won't get angry at first bc he's not so out of touch that he's unaware of how shocking a pregnancy is to a woman who wasn't planning one,, but his patience is limited and if you fight it too much he will get mad and yell

- but unless you really don't want to have a child, it won't get to that bc he makes the idea of having a baby with him sound so perfect?? like you genuinely don't understand how he did that

- he chases away all of your worries and assures you that youre not alone and that even though it isn't planned he wouldn't rather anyone else carry his child

- the initial conversation would probably end in you two sleeping together again bc he finds the fact that you're carrying his child so attractive and bc being aware of the pregnancy makes him more possessive

- it's also a good way to fight any of your doubts

- speaking of being possessive though,, i feel like he could be a little more possessive/protective of a reader who didn't plan on getting pregnant bc your relationship has been less established

- no one sees you as anything to him and he doesn't want to start rumors now bc it's important to him that his enemies don't find out about you or his future child so he doesn't want that to change

- but he almost forgets about all of those reasons each time he sees a man get a little too close,, especially if that guy is flirty

- it takes all of his will power to not just go 'she's mine and if i wasn't worried about the stress that witnessing something violent would cause our unborn child, you'd be dead already, but if you're not gone by the time i turn around, i'll forget about caution'

- lots of close calls ngl!! at one point youre like 'if it bothers you so much, maybe you should tell someone??' and he's like 'no,, maybe,, shut up' and then you raise one eyebrow and he just closes his mouth and is like 'i mean,, i'll kiss you to shut you up, haha--dont be mad'

- youre the one that's pregnant but sometimes you think he might be the one experiencing the mood swings i swear 😭

- so your little theory gets tested,, he's not the type to gossip with his besties and be like 'guess who's officially my girlfriend, i knocked her up but it's not like it sounds--'

- so he's like ig you can tell genya

- once again genya is like ?? yall thought you were keeping that secret? couldn't be me

- but having it a little out in the open helps ease him just enough that youre actually capable of consoling him when he becomes jealous

- still though,, he's quick to go into possessive/pregnancy kink sex

- youre most def not mad about it,, unless pregnancy has you particularly sore

- he's normally pretty understanding about that and def doesn't mind pulling his weight in the bedroom when he needs

- honestly he'd be really good at being a source of calmness at the beginning, but as time goes on he becomes more and more worried about finishing his plans bc he didn't expect to have a child right now

- so he'd be more adamant about working/becoming more tense and would be more difficult to console if it was an accidental pregnancy

- when you call him out on it--or on anything while your pregnant--it's frustrating for you both bc the number one thing everyone knows is stress is bad for baby, so he's trying to keep you calm without backing down

- these argument always end with one of you clinging to the other,, and then the more angrier of the two just like shuts up, rolls their eyes, and lets go of the argument...at least for now

- the main difference between an accidental and intentional pregnancy would probably be how you perceive him,, bc an intentional pregnancy means youve talked about things but since you havent talked about anything your shocked about how soft he becomes ??

#headcanons #headcanon #darkling x reader #the darkling x reader #the darking x you #aleksander morozova x reader #general kirigan x you #general kirigan imagine #grishaverse imagine #grishaverse #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #aleksander morovoza x reader #aleksander morozova imagine

[har-rison-s]

pray, do tell

request: If you don’t mind me asking, request for Loki asking the other Loki’s if they have a s/o in their timeline during episode 5?

a/n: hi ! i absolutely ADORE this idea and i hope i'll write it out respectfully :)) i loved episode 5 so much, except for SOME scenes, and i especially enjoyed multiple lokis sitting around and talking, chilling, that's like... my dream place to be. YOU DON'T KNOW THE EFFECT PRESIDENT LOKI HAS ON ME. like it should be studied in labs and schools cos ??????? that feeling when he's on screen was just something else. also ! kid loki holding alligator loki my beloved <3. i'd love to be surrounded by lokis, me and loki actually have the same personality type so they're like... my people. sorry for the rant, hahah ! this one is a bit shorter than my other loki works, sorry about that :/ also it took me like 40 minutes to find decent gifs lmao. happy reading !! <3

masterlist

mcu masterlist

warnings: nothing really

disclaimer: lokis mentioned have he/him pronouns !

Weirded out by what he's seeing, and not entirely sure it's real, Loki can't take his eyes off it, either. The way alligator Loki drinks his boxed wine is just so fascinating to him, yet weird and other-wordly (he knows those well) at the same time. And he's weirded out more by the fact that he doesn't find a variant of him being an alligator strange in any way. He's had a few trying days, as he said himself.

Loki manages to divert his eyes off the creature with horns on its head and looks to the grapes he holds in his hand. He picks small dirt away from the berries and takes a grape into his mouth with ease. The taste reminds him of many things. His childhood, his home, his family... Thor, Frigga, Odin, Sif and the Warriors Three. Asgard. The Gardens, the waters, the Bifrost. Heimdall. Visits to the city, the markets, the celebrations.

Love.

Loki blinks, fooling himself and others by aiming to portray that he's not thinking about anything important. But he is. She was the most important thing to him, and now... Well, maybe during the New York heist, she's still fine, but after Ragnarok... Loki fears too much to think about it.

He wishes he could remember everything with her that followed New York, but all he has of their future is some worn-out tape in the TVA archives. Perhaps even pictures... He wants to live through all they had now, he wishes he could do that most of all. Of course, there's the finding Mobius and helping Sylvie burn down the TVA thing, but upon remembering her, it all falls into the background.

His first love. Not a god, like him, but she was a goddess in his eyes. He smiles now, subtly, at the fond memories of her. He noticed the little moments he had with her in the tape Mobius had, about his whole future. How beautiful she always was, her subtle way of laughing and going about her smiles and giggles, how exceptional and different her clothes always were, how her hair shined in any light...

“Did any of you...” Loki starts to say, and sighs shortly before continuing, thinking he'll probably regret asking it, “did any of you leave a... a lover behind when the TVA arrested you? Prince or princess?” He looks between his variants. Young Loki shoots him a stern look. “Apologies, my liege. You seem too young for that.” Loki bids him a polite smile, but his brain whirs. “How long have you been here, anyway?”

“Don't know. Time doesn't really... exist here.” Young Loki says and throws a salt biscuit into alligator Loki's jaws. “But no lovers in my lifetime, Loki.” He pointedly looks at the older variant of himself, nodding slightly.

“Not yet, at least.” Loki points out and gets scoffs and chuckles from Boastful and Classic Loki. He looks at them with a furrowed brow.

“Oh, you and your grand plan,” Classic Loki shakes his head before taking another sip from his huge cup. Loki only rolls his eyes, but still waits for answers to his question, “well,” Classic Loki downs his drink, “it would be no surprise to you that I had countless partners before I chose isolation. Partners of any kind.” He winks. Loki nods, understanding how much alike he truly is with his variants. “But I feel there is no one truly... truly made for me. Like midgardians would say - 'the one'.“

“In my case, there were many 'the ones',” Boastful Loki says, mocking Classic's use of words. All other Lokis roll their eyes, “I actually feel like every person in the whole universe was made to be with me. I'm just that irresistible.” He smiles pleasantly to himself. Alligator Loki growls again.

“That's another “liar” from him to you, Boast,” Classic Loki nods his head towards Boastful, who only shakes his head and frowns.

“I had my fair share of men and women before I was taken,” Boastful says, “must have been the same for you, Loki.” He looks at him. “Asgard was truly a giving place.”

Loki chuckles, but looks away from his variants. “Oh, it was...” he says quietly, “it was.” His voice grows even more quiet. Young and Classic Loki exchange a look.

“Do tell us, your mischievousness.” Classic Loki urges him. Loki shoots him a nervous look, then he leans back into the sofa and sighs, his eyes strictly focused on his hands.

“I had plenty before I met... one,” he starts to say, “me and her share a past, and, it seems, a future as well. After New York, I am taken to Asgard, imprisoned, but she is there. I fake my death and rule over Asgard as Odin, and she's there. I help Thor destroy our evil sister--”

“Oh, she was a nasty one.” Boastful says, shaking his head. “We used to have a connection, but then she just... I don't even know.” He shrugs. Loki eyes him for a second before continuing.

“We destroyed Asgard, but saved its people, and saved her. We make for Midgard, and she's there with me.” Loki sighs, his eyes gloomy. “And then... Thanos attacks, destroys half, if not all our people, and...” he can't even speak further. His variants share a look, each having quite the correct guess for what could follow after that. Boastful drinks from his cup in an awkward manner. “But I feel like that's another life I lived. Or another me. I don't know, I feel so... disconnected from her, from what we had. Must be the TVA and this... void. And all that's happened, all I've learned about my future.” He sighs again.

“Meeting her again would be a wake-up call, no?” Boastful asks. Loki shrugs, a sad expression on his face.

“Rather a sign that you're real.” Classic Loki says with a wide, true smile. Loki looks to him as if looking at a mentor. “I often felt like the people I loved and the love I had for them, even if it was not reciprocated, were a reminder that I am real, I exist and I can feel all these things.”

Loki considers his words, and then nods along, finding a truth in them.

“After all, love and all other emotions are the human part in all of us.” Classic says. “And it isn't always bad to feel like a regular human being.” Loki can also find truth in those words. Love makes one feel alive, makes you feel like you're on the right path, found the right person, found your purpose. It doesn't always have to be glorious, it can be small, but nonetheless important to you.

“I used to think humans smaller than us, more pathetic and puny, but...” Loki shakes his head, “we, gods, are just the same, really.” He chuckles sadly. “Having quarrels over the stupidest things, being as imperfect as humans... Sometimes I even felt like I was too good, too perfect for something like true love, which is a pathetic emotion that makes you feel all kinds of other feelings, but...” he smiles, “often times I felt like that, she told me everyone was deserving of love, even me.” His smile grows wider.

“She sounds lovely.” Classic Loki tells him with a kind smile.

“She was that, and more.” Loki nods along. Young Loki imitates the sound of a snore and throws a crumpled piece of paper at Loki's shoulder.

“You're making me extremely bored.” He announces and sits straighter in his chair, looking over the mess that is his palace. “Love's boring.” Young Loki throws a juice carton across the room, making a face.

“You are just too young to understand and know it, your majesty.” Boastful says with a wink, and the next juice carton is flying over his head with a snicker from Young Loki. Classic Loki keeps Boastful tight in his seat so an argument wouldn't arise, and Boastful hesitantly restrains, his drink almost spilling over his cup. Loki watches them with a sappy smile on his features, and decides this is a good place to spend eternity at, even without her.

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let me know if you want to be added ! or maybe to a loki list !

#loki request #loki x reader #loki imagine #loki series #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson imagine #loki laufeyson imagines #loki oneshot #loki one shot #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson imagine #loki odinson imagines #har-rison-s writes #no but how old is kid loki? #how long has kid loki been in the void? #how long has classic loki been in the void? #how long has boastful loki been in the void? #which of them was the first???

[garagesesh]

illicit affairs

one.

Summary: As the new girlfriend of notorious womanizer and formula one driver, James Hunt, you’re suddenly thrown into a whole new world and meet the man who James hates most, Niki Lauda.

Pairings: James Hunt x (f!)Reader, eventual Niki Lauda x (f!)reader

Warnings: Period typical sexism, mentions of prostitution, mentions of sex, niki is a dick like a huge dick and also just very jealous and doesn’t know how to compliment women at all, swearing, slow burn, blood

A/N: I’m going to warn you now that I haven’t written anything in a really long time and I suddenly got the motivation to try again. So, I’m really sorry if this is dumb lmao. Anyways, I’m really excited about this gif and I’m having fun writing it! Also, James is still a dick but can be nice?? idk i made him a lil different. except i will state right now that i am separating the real life James Hunt and Niki Lauda from my personal versions. i don’t paint them in the best of light at times and i don’t want to disrespect the real ones. also i suck at summaries.

🏁 BRAZIL

são paolo | 26 January, 1975

The Brazilian summer sun beat down across the Autódromo de Interlagos track, setting what felt like record high temperatures. Soles of shoes melted, sweat drenched thru the clothes of everyone, and ice was poured in ungodly amounts onto the tires that did nothing other than evaporate.

Thousands of poor souls all dressed in the hues of their favorite team were jammed packed into the stands under the unforgiving sun, hours before the race to catch glimpses of their favorite drives themselves gearing up for the race.

Weaving in and out of the waxed and gleaming cars, your eyes couldn’t help but admire the metal boxes of death that littered the concrete in two neat rows. The heat was unbearable as it beat down your back and although you were appropriately clothed for the weather, it still felt like layers upon layers of tight winter clothes engorging your body. Nonetheless, you trudged on in what you admit being too high platform heels.

This was the first formula one race you had ever been too. In fact, it was your first race of anything after meeting a very attractive formula one driver at a dinner party you both didn’t want to be at, but you were now required to show up at such events. Not that you minded at all.

It was last December when you had been invited to your old roommate’s family dinner for the holidays. The whole night itself was dull as people droned on and on about themselves and their achievements in over priced evening gowns and tuxedos.

Dressed in your best dress with your most expensive shoes and jewelry, you had entered the large four story, twenty room home, with the austere grandeur you felt out of place.

The night had droned on and one as you stood in the corner of the room, nursing a glass of wine and observing the glistening dresses that were elegantly draped on the older and more refined women of society, complete with the most delicate and custom shoes and drowning in priceless gems hanging off their necks and eats.

The men were dressed all the same in black and white tuxedos but, no doubt the most expensive that one could find.

Except.

There was a single outlier.

A man standing near the fireplace dressed in blue velvet, with an open white shirt, no tie and long un-brushed blond hair; was laughing loudly while flirting shamelessly with a much older woman with his arm draped on the mantle with his finger gently pulling on the woman’s extensively long string of pearls.

Despite unable to hear him over the music and crowd, you could tell he was witty with the way the woman’s laughter rang out. Watching him flirt with almost every woman over the age of sixty-five, you found, was the only interesting thing at this damned party.

It was only during dinner did you meet the mysterious and somewhat enthralling man.

Excusing yourself from the table to use the restroom, you pushed the bathroom door open just as the door was being opened from the inside. Making the mistake of resting your entire weight on the door handle, the door smacked against the figure in the bathroom.

A crack softly rung in your eyes. “Oh my god! Are you alright?!”

“Yeah-“ The blond and very attractive man from before, clutched his nose in his large hand as he laughed before checking if there had been any blood. “just fine.”

Oh god, he was even better looking up close.

“I think you might need some ice.” Embarrassment shot through your body due to not only your clumsiness of hitting the poor man, but also the sheer closeness of your bodies.

“I think I might need some tissues first.” He laughed again, clearly finding the whole thing amusing.

“Are you bleeding?!” You moved your head to try and look around his large hand to examine his nose.

Moving his hand away from his nose, you could see a small stream of crimson blood. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve dealt with much worse. Besides, I don’t mind that you were the one to break my nose.” He winked down at you as you bundled an excessive amount of toilet paper around you shaking hand and shoved it on his nose with too much force. “Ow.”

“I’m sorry. I-uh here.” Reaching down, your hand gently grasped his warm and much larger hand, gingerly placing the wad of toilet paper into his own hands; your fingers grazing each other during the simple exchange.

“James.” He spoke muffled through the mask of the burgeoning red paper.

“Huh?”

Pulling off the makeshift bandage, he winced as he grinned. “I’m James.”

“Y/n.”

“Well it’s an absolute pleasure meeting you.”

“I broke your nose! Let me pay for the hospital bill!”

“It was my fault and I don’t think it’s broken, hopefully. I don’t need you to do that.”

“I really am so sorry about all of this.” Noticing the tiny drops of red on his crisp white shirt, “Let me pay for a new shirt at least.”

James looked down at his shirt and only realized that his shirt was stained with blood then. “Oh-items alright. I hate this shirt anyways. How are you enjoying the party?” James grinned as he opened the door for you to walk out in front of him.

“Oh uh, it’s definitely a dinner party.”

“It’s boring.”

“Oh absolutely.”

His eyes eyes flickered down towards you as he hit his lip gently. “I know how you can repay me.”

“And how’s that? I have twenty pounds in my purse-“

“No. Let’s go for pizza?”

Should you leave with a man you just met?

Is the chance of being murdered better than being hypothetically murdered to death by boredom?

“Yes.”

Smiling at the memory, you found that you were enjoying yourself as you wandered aimlessly around the track as your boyfriend was currently somewhere else with his team preparing for the race and overall you didn’t mind it being a million degrees and a humidity percentage of about a billion out.

Continuing on your walk, you mouthed the names of the teams and tried to remember what car and driver belonged to as James had taught you.

Elf, Jody Scheckter.

Brabham, Ronnie Peterson.

Lotus, Carlos Reutemann.

Williams, Jacques Laffite.

Hesketh, James Hunt.

Your lips upturned in amusement before moving on to the red and white car beside it.

McLaren, Emerson Fittipaldi.

Ferrari.

Could you fall in love with a car? Certainly so, you just had with this one.

No single car had ever been this beautiful.

The weekend had you swimming in the Italian art work. All different colors, styles, and models; driven by some of the world’s wealthiest men and women all here for the grand prix.

But this was different.

The blood crimson car was an absolute piece of art.

As if it was painted right there on the track with the finest paints and delicate brushes. As if Michelangelo himself had risen from the dead to sculpt this car. The car itself swooped low with lines of utter perfection and precision. Thin and straight white, green, and red lines ran along the outside of the cockpit, only to stop for the cursive white letter looping around each other in elegant script.

Niki Lauda

You admit that you weren’t thinking as your hand reached out and grazed the cherry car. Fingertips bribing numbly at the heat of the cooking metal underneath and fell just at the precipice of Nik, flowing down and trailing the i to the k-

“What are you doing?”

You retracted your hand from the hot metal and clutched it against your chest like a guilty child that was caught with their hand in the cookie jar just before dinner, at the sound of the stern and very obviously annoyed voice behind you.

“Are you going to move?”

Your lips opened to respond as you turned around to face your confronter.

He was attractive.

Not in a model or rockstar way and definitely not a James way, no; but in a handsome and somehow perfectly imperfect way. Dressed neck to toe in a red racing suit adorned with sponsorship patches up and down his sleeves and chest, with his matching red helmet clutched in his right hand with gloves held in the other. His brown hair sat on his head in curls that fell long on top but short on the side. He had protruding teeth that wasn’t off putting but charming. His matching brown eyes narrowed and scanned you up and down in obvious judgement and his brow slightly furrowed as he took in your outfit.

“I said, are you going to move?” His deep and heavily accented voice cut like ice as he pointed his helmet, motioning for you to move out of his way. “That’s,” He pointed the helmet then to the Ferrari behind you. “my car. Move.”

“You could have just said excuse me.” Amusement instead of annoyance bubbled up within you after realizing who this man in front of you was.

“I have more important things to do than dish out pleasantries, especially to those of your kind.”

“My kind?”

“A track girl.” Your arms folded over your chest instinctively with his insults as you stepped out of the way, switching spots with him.

“So you’re the Austrian rat.” You smirked, watching Niki check the very obviously undamaged paint from where your fingertips had barely grazed. “The great Niki Lauda. Favorite to win the championship. Obnoxiously rich. Dangerously talented and just oh so fast!”

Scoffing, he moved away from the lettering and knelt down to place his helmet and gloves inside the cockpit of the small box of death. “I should’ve known you were with Hunt.” He muttered just loud enough for you to hear.

“How do you know that?”

“The fact that he and his little girlfriends are the only one that calls me that.” His hands fiddled with something in the car as he seethed. Niki didn’t care about being called a rat, no, it was the sheer lack of respect that James had for him and preponderance of the nickname being used from James and his menagerie of women.

“Is that it?” Your hands fell to your hips as your eyebrow quirked up, knowing full well that some rude comment was about to slip off his tongue.

“And that you look like you belong in a gentleman’s club.” Niki didn’t even look at you as he declared his observations nonchalantly.

“You really know how to charm women, don’t you? No wonder you’re just so popular with the ladies. A real Casanova huh?” You teased, both of you knowing he was quite the opposite of Casanova. “You know, he told me about you.”

“What did he say?”

“He said you were an asshole.”

“Am I?”

“Are you?”

“Only to those I dislike.”

“So is that everyone?”

“Just about.”

“He also said you looked like a rat.”

“Do I?” He stood up at that and turned around to face you as he folded his own arms and sat down on the large rear tire, simultaneously nodding his head upwards as if to show off his “rodent” like features.

“Kinda but not in the way I had imagined originally. You’re definitely hmm,” You brought your fist under your chin in fake deep thought. “…bigger?”

“Did you imagine an actual rat?”

“No, just a small, teeny tiny man with huge buck teeth.” Covering your mouth in fake surprise you gasped dramatically. “Oh my god! Maybe you are exactly what I imagined.”

“Funny.”

“Extremely.”

“Anything else?” He stood up to stand over you, looking down as he waited for some insult directly from the mouth James Hunt to spill out of your own.

“He also told me to stay away from you.” You looked up thru your lashes at the man mere inches in front of you.

Niki furrowed his brow in confusion. Stay away from him? What threat did his pose other than being an asshole? A million thoughts ran through his mind but unable to land on a single conclusion that made sense to him but, then again did James ever make sense?

“Kitten!” The tall blond that was James Hunt, interrupted any chance of Niki deciding on what the approaching man had meant.

“James.” Smiling as he wrapped his much larger arms around you, whirling you through the air in boyish delight as he smiled down at you before capturing your lips in a quick kiss.

“I was looking for you.” His larger hand brushed a strand of your hair out of the way and gently tucked it behind your ear. “I was hoping we could you know…” His blond eyebrows rose suggestively as he smirked down at you.

“Don’t you have any respect?” Niki spat, making his presence known once more.

“For fuck’s sake.” The Brit groaned dramatically at the reminder of who was there. His flirty demeanor changed to a much more serious and demanding one. “I thought I told you to stay away from him.” But it didn’t last long as James sucked in his upper lip and bit over his lower one to imitate a rat as he looked over at Niki. “Watch out love, he’ll make you lose a brain cell with every word that comes out of that ratty little mouth of his.”

You didn’t find yourself laughing at your boyfriends imitation of the other man. Instead, you looked over to Niki and smiled watching how his lips pursed in anger and his eyes narrow sharply. “We actually had a very pleasant conversation. Isn’t that right Niki?” He only scoffed and looked away from you and your false statement.

“I doubt that’s even possible with that shit disposition of his.” It was James’s turn to scoff and roll his blue eyes.

“Now, now James let’s not be mean, he showed me the utmost respect and kindness.” you wretched your eyes away from Niki and wrapped your arms around James’ neck.

“Oh really?” He leaned forward and let his forehead rest upon your own, his blue eyes looking into yours.

“Mhmm.” You leaned in as well and-

“Hey arschloch, next time you bring your play things around, tell them to stay away from the cars.”

“What did you do kitten?” James pulled away and his mouth opened in mocked shock.

“I-“

“I caught her messing with my car.” Niki motioned his hands to his chest. “She could’ve broken something or worse, gotten hurt. These aren’t the toys you think they are, Hunt. They’re killing machines.”

“But kitten didn’t do either, now did she?”

“No, but that’s not the point-“

“Then what is your point, rat?”

“I want you to keep better track of your little girlfriends and get them to stop bothering me and learn to be safer on and off the track!”

“Aww are you jealous?”

“Hardly.” Niki scoffed.

“I think he’s jealous kitten, would you say that the rat is jealous?”

“Hmm.” You looked him up and down, watching as the shorter man’s hands flexed and his jaw clenched so tight you were certain that he was going to crack a tooth. “I-“

“I’m not jealous of your obnoxious girlfriends or of you.” Niki interjected, pointing a finger at James. “I would never be jealous of you. Never.”

“It’s alright Andreas. It’s okay, I know you’re too embarrassed to admit you are.” James wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his own body, as he smiled down at you. “I would be jealous of me too. Is it possible to be jealous of me even though I am me?”

“I have things to do.” Niki changed the topic abruptly, clearly exhausted of James’ presence.

“You heard the rat squeak kitten, it’s time for us to go. Pleasure as always Niki.” He saluted the Austrian with two fingers.

“Bye Niki, it was nice meeting you. I hope to see you soon.” James didn’t wait for Niki’s response as he spun you around and lead you back to the pits.

“He’s just the worst, isn’t he?”

“I think he’s quite funny.”

“Funny?” James stopped in his tracks, pulling away from you slightly, looking down as his face contorted in confusion. “He insulted you. He’s a pig.”

“I know.”

“He’s a sexist asshole.”

“I know.”

“Darling-“

“I thought it was funny how he got riled up over you. Did you see the way he shook with anger? And the overly serious tone when he called you an asshole?”

“That wasn’t him being funny. It’s him being a dick.”

“I thought it was amusing.” You laughed to yourself recounting the encounter with the Austrian driver.

“Amusing.”

“In how much he hates you.”

“Well then the sentiments are the same.”

“I think he just needs-“

“To get laid.”

“James.”

“What? I’m right!”

“Whether you are right are not, he just seems…lonely.”

“The rat being lonely makes it right for him to say that to you?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“It’s not helpful to let his words get to me. Besides, I’m going to hopefully, kill him with kindness.”

“Aww are you going to melt the Grinch’s heart? Are you going to hold his hand and sing kumbaya around a giant Christmas tree?”

“Wow that’s a great idea! Would you like to join in our hand holding James?”

“Fuck no.”

“Shame. You’re going to miss out on such a beautiful friendship.”

next chapter ⌦

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#niki lauda #rush 2013 #james hunt x reader #niki lauda x reader #james hunt #fanfic #daniel brühl #chris hemsworth #not affiliated with the real james and niki #rush