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atalho-s · 3 years

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Light Up The Dark

Part 2 | We are accidents waiting to happen

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: smut +18 miniors dni, swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 5.0 k

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! I don’t have a taglist yet, but if you want to be tagged in the next chapters let me know!!

PART 2 if you want to read part 1 click here!

It was already Saturday. The day Y/n took for herself. Writing was extraordinary, but she loved having a day off to take care of herself. She spent the day doing things she enjoyed, whether it was lying in bed watching a movie or trying to cook something.

After the fateful day of writer's block she started writing like crazy, so she didn't feel guilty about taking a day off without thinking about her characters and how they would get out of the challenges she had created for them.

The fateful day. For some reason she kept thinking about that damned Brit with that accent. For a moment she'd been scared that she'd been seen by paparazzi hanging out with the mysterious bartender, or even some picture of him leaving her apartment. But nothing came out in the news on the gossip sites, which made her relieved.

As much as she deserved to have fun once in a while and wasn't doing anything wrong, she still didn't want to bring attention to herself and even less to a guy who wasn't even famous. She was afraid to put anyone who wasn't famous in the media. Fear that one day suddenly, this person might be persecuted because of her.

Anyway, it had just been a crazy night. Nothing much. And she didn't intend to see him again. So she had nothing to worry about.

Sitting down in the kitchen counter with her familiar cup of coffee she got lost in some thoughts. Why hadn't she stopped thinking about him ever since? It had been a great night, but that was all. She didn't even know him well.

Maybe it was because her creative block had been broken after being with him. But obviously it was just a coincidence. She had just felt inspired after a distraction.

She shook his head away from the thoughts and placed the cup in the sink. She took a deep breath and thought about what to do next. But before she could think of anything else her cell phone started ringing on the counter. She was almost jump by the sudden sound, seeing the screen indicating that it was Milla, her agent, who had become one of her best friends.

- Hi Mil! - she said after sliding the screen.

- Good morning baby. - she said on the other end of the line. - Ready for the party?

- Party? What a party? - Y/n asked confused starting to wash the small amount ofdishes she had soiled.

- How you don't know? I thought I sent you the invitation on your email and I even sent you a message!

- Bestie, I haven't seen my email or message for days. I was super focused on the book, my writer's block finally went away.

- Really? I knew that would go away! You were worried for nothing. What did you do to go back to writing? - Milla asked and Y/n smiled a little.

- Well... I just went out to chill out a bit...Nothing much.

- Y/n getting out on weekdays? And even on the days you're writing a book? That's what I call grow. - she said and Y/n rolled her eyes laughing. - I'm even afraid to invite you to parties, because I know when you're writing you hate to go out... But it's good to know that you're getting out of your routine a little...

- Yeah, sometimes it's good to breathe new air. - Y/n replied drying his hands on a towel. - But what party are you talking about?

- A party of none other than Emma Brown. - Y/n snorted. Emma Brown was a great actress who to tell the truth she didn't know much, she only knew her from a couple of her movies, but other than that she didn't know much about her.

But what she did know was that she had some also famous friends of questionable taste. They were those famous people who only knew about money, women, cars and mansions. But she was tipped for a theatrical adaptation of one of her books and she wanted everything to come out perfect. She was very afraid the movie would end up ruining her work.

- Do I really have to go? - She asked in a tearful voice.

- Yes you have! It's going to be a really fancy birthday party for her, all the famous people in the industry are going to be there. You know you have to socialize with these people. Who knows, you can make some important friendships...

- Milla... I don't know... I don't need important friendships. I don't need anyone to stand up or approach others for interest.

- I know you don't need anyone for that... I just meant that you're very isolated, you need to make connections, understand? I know it's hard because you hate all that fame and stuff. But if you want the adaptation of your story to be good, there's no way... Besides, one of the great directors you left me on the list to research will be there too. So it would be really cool to kill two birds with one stone. - Milla said and Y/n sighed. She was right, if she wanted everything to work out she had to at least have a conversation with these people. It would be weird to refuse Emma's invitation to her birthday. It would just show that she was uninterested.

- Okay... You won ok? - She said and Milla gave an excited squeal. - But I won't stay long!

- Okay, okay... Just for you to go is great! Andrew will be there shortly for you to choose a dress. -Andrew was her stylist and she practically jumped every time Y/n had an important event, because it was rare for her to go. Good thing he didn't just have her as a client, because otherwise he'd be bored out of his mind for a long time.

- Okay Mil, thank you... I love you! - She said and Milla said goodbye hanging up the phone.

It was late afternoon when Andrew arrived at her apartment with several suitcases and bags in both hands. He really had brought up thousands of options. But Y/n ended up choosing a slightly shiny black dress that went just above the knee with a V-neck. Something cute, but nothing too fancy.

He did her makeup. Which wasn't too heavy either, as she hated things that were too heavy on her face. Finally she put on a mid-heeled sandal in the same color as the dress and her sparkly earrings. Before Andrew left her apartment satisfied with the result.

It was almost 7:30 pm when a black car that would take her to the party location arrived in front of her building and she got out enter the backseat right after. She was apprehensive. She hated socializing to tell the truth. Large crowds and cameras really made her anxious.

After almost 20 minutes the car stopped in front of what appeared to be a large gate. Several paparazzi showed up and started taking pictures of her car surrounding her or even tapping on the window a little, asking her if she could talk to them. Which she obviously ignored. The driver introduced himself to the doorman and he opened the gate letting the car pass and stop in front of a luxurious mansion.

Some people were coming in and others were standing in front talking. She saw that there were some familiar faces of the media. Actresses, actors, singers, famous people of every imaginable type.

She opened the car door and walked out towards the large entrance. She smiled at a few people, nodding her head as she passed and found herself in a crowd of people as she entered the place. There really were a lot of people, despite the place being even bigger inside. Many with fancy drinks in hand and chatting. A song playing on the background.

She walked deeper into the room and took a quick look around trying to find the birthday girl. After a few minutes she found her near one of the sofas. Y/n walked over and stopped beside her, causing Emma to stop her conversation with two more people and look at her.

- Happy Birthday! - Y/n said in the friendliest way possible and Emma smirked and hugged her lightly afterwards.

- Thank you! Glad you came! - she said, breaking out of the hug after a few seconds.

- Your party is very beautiful, I loved the decoration. - Y/n said looking around. Indeed Emma had decorated the place in a simple way, but at the same time fancy and beautiful.

- Oh thank you... - she said, still smiling. - I'm very happy that you accepted my invitation, we have a lot to talk about since maybe we'll work together, right?

- No problem, obviously I would come... - Y/n said and almost punched herself because she was very fake in saying that. - But we really have to talk!

- Well, I was talking to Jim just now... I can give you his number later... He's a great director and I think it would be great for your adaptation... - Emma said and Y/n thought that she was really interested in that adaptation, because she was even talking to the possible renowned director, which surprised her. She thought Emma was a little more oblivious to her books and even movie stuff. She thought she was one of those famous actresses who expected others to come after her, not being interested in the work itself, but only on the fame and money. - We love your book! I think it has great potential for a grand adaptation.

- Wow, that is good to hear! Thanks a lot! - Y/n said sincerely this time. - I'll love talking to him too...

- Sure! - She looked behind Y/n and motioned to someone from far away. - Hey Jim! You can come here? - She asked speaking loudly for him to hear and Y/n turned around watching the director approaching after saying goodbye to someone. He wasn't much older than she thought, maybe in his early thirties, he wore a small beard that fit his face and short hair, but with curls that jutted out around his head. -That's Y/n... Y/n that's Jim...-Emma said when he got in front of her and Jim held out his hand with a smile.

- Nice to meet Y/n, we finally met... - he said and Y/n shook his hand also smiling.

- Nice to meet you Jim! - She said and Emma sat in one of the armchairs indicating for the two to sit, which they did next.

- Do you two want something to drink? Champagne?- Emma asked and they both accepted as she motioned for someone from far away to bring them.

- Well, I found your book very intriguing Y/n... I can say I haven't slept for a while... - Jim said laughing a little and Y/n smiled. - It's a very well written story, I loved the plots and it has a great resolution. I think I would make a good 2 hour movie with all this material... - he said and Y/n paid attention until something took her a little out of focus. Something not. Somebody.

It was the waiter, and not just any waiter. It was Tom. He came into her vision and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Maybe it was a mirage or she was mistaking him for someone else. But when he approached she was sure it was him. He came with a tray with drinks in one hand. He was wering a white dress shirt, with black pants. The typical pattern of a fancy party waiter. But he was beautiful. Y/n felt a shiver for a moment and tried to hide it by looking back at Jim who was still talking about his plans for the possible movie.

Maybe Tom didn't even remember her. She was just a one-night stand, he should do that with a lot of girls out there, so it wasn't something new to him. As soon as he arrived, he handed one of the glasses to Emma beside her and Y/n felt her breath quicken a little. She didn't know why she was so nervous. It was just a waiter she had slept with a few days ago.

- Excuse me... - he said and Y/n looked up at him quickly seeing that he was right in front of him. -Here it is miss...-he said looking her in the eyes and then winking at her, wich almost make her shrink in her chair. He held out the tray for her to take one of the glasses and she did, looking away at Jim.

- So, what do you think? - Jim asked taking the glass from the tray and Y/n took a sip of his surprise drink.

- Sorry? - She asked guiltily for having been distracted.

- About us meeting and having a meeting next week? That way I can show you my idea better. - he said and Y/n smiled.

- Of course, that would be great! - she said and Tom walked away not looking in her direction again, which left her disappointed for a second. She would going to love looking into those eyes again.

- Perfect! - Jim replied excitedly and started talking about other things as well as Emma.

They talked for almost an hour, until Emma went to talk to other people and Jim said he was leaving as he had some work in the morning. Y/n sat for a while and finished drinking the last of her champagne and placed it on the table in front of her.

She thought about leaving. She had already done the important interactions for the night. So, she had no reason to stay there. But she kept thinking about the damn waiter. Would it be weird to go talk to him? Maybe just say hi? But she doubted he would want to talk to her. Besides, he was working. She didn't want to get in his way.

Getting up from her chair and straightening her dress, she forced her steps towards the exit, but stopped midway as she saw Tom walking into what appeared to be the kitchen with the tray tucked under his arm. She looked at the exit door and sighed. Okay, if she went to him just to say hi, it wouldn't hurt would it?

Y/n turned and headed in the direction that Tom had gone. She couldn't even believe she was doing it this. She would looked ridiculous in his eyes. But she choose to ignore the little voice of reason again. Passing by a few people, and walking out into a empty hallway, she opening a single door at end. She closed in behind her and turned to see that Tom was on his back piling some boxes in a corner. His muscles in that outfit made her feel tempted somehow, so she swallowed hard. He turned at the sound of the door closing and looked at her with a mixture of confusion and curiosity.

- Looking for something madam? - He asked with a smirk.

- Actually... - Y/n thought of some excuse, maybe it would be better, so it would seem that she was there for something else and not for him. - Yeah... I was looking for the bathroom, I think I take the wrong direction...

- Yeah...Actually, the bathroom is on the other side of the hallway... - he said leaning against the kitchen counter and looking her up and down, making her feel completely vulnerable. After his eyes roamed her legs and bust, they came to her face and he grinned.

- Okay, I'll... - Y/n started saying and turned around taking a few steps. But she stopped midway, closing his eyes, tearing himself apart from the inside out of embarrassment. She turned around again seeing that he was still watching her, now with his arms crossed over his chest, wondering what she would do next. - You remember me don't you? - She asked fearfully.

- Of course I remember darling... - he said, practically intensifying his accent in that nickname that was so perfect in his voice. Y/n took a few steps forward also crossing her arms. - How could I forget the famous writer Y/n?- He raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes with his last sentence.

- It really was an...- She looked at her feet trying to find a word. - Interesting night… - she finally said and he chuckled, making her look up.

- Very interesting indeed... - he said putting his hands in his front pockets, pulling himself away from the counter and heading towards her. Y/n wanted to say goodbye and leave, run away as fast as possible. But she couldn't, every move he did was too tempting, so she just stood there watching him get closer and closer to her. He stopped in front of her and looked into her eyes, smiling slightly.

- What are you doing here? Do you work as a waiter at parties too? - Y/n asked curiously.

- My boss sometimes receives proposals for us to work at these rich parties... - he said with a shrug.

- Oh... Nice... - she said crossing her arms. - Well...Now I really have to go... - she said trying to get away from it one last time.

- Why did you really come here love? -Tom asked tilting his head a little to the side and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

- I told you, I was looking for the bathroom. -Y/n looked at his face trying to be firm, but saw that he still wore that smirk. Why did he have to be so confident like that?

- Oh sure... Just like you also looked for some excuse that day for me to leave, but failed miserably?- he asked making a thoughtful face and she still hadn't decided if she wanted to slap him or kiss him.

- Why did you leave without saying goodbye tho? - She asked ignoring what he had said.

- So that's why you came after me? Are you hurt that I didn't leave you a goodbye kiss? - he said pouting.

- Of course not, I just... I don't know, it would be nice to say that you were leaving and that you wouldn't stay for breakfast... - Y/n said looking to the side, avoiding those brown eyes that intimidated her.

- Darling, I'm not that type guy, sorry...

- What type of guy? - she still avoided looking at him.

- The type who stay for breakfeast. -he said taking a hand from her pocket and taking her chin gently, making her look at him. - But if you want some fun I'm at your disposal. -he said and she bit her lower lip lightly making him deviate his eyes towards her lips. - Do you want darling?- he asked quietly and Y/n seemed to be transfixed by her touch. She was surrendered, she couldn't deny it. Maybe even hypnotized.

- I...- she said with a little shaky voice. - I don't know...

- Yes or no?- he asked looking from her lips to her eyes and she felt her breath getting heavy.

- Yes...- she just spoke as a whisper and he smiled satisfied.

- How about you meet me in 15 minutes in the bathroom of the pool house? - He said and she just shook her head slowly. Tom released her chin and backed away slowly, not taking his eyes off her, and then walked away leaving her alone with her heart racing.

Y/n took a deep breath and tried to place herself in what had just happened. Did she really want this? Her mind could try to hear the voice of reason, but it was drowned out by her body's reaction. She wanted to feel him again.

She walked away quickly, passing several people who were talking loudly or who were already drunk. She looked around and saw the door that led to the back side and sneak there, getting out and feeling the slightly chilly night air, closing the sliding door behind her.

She saw the pool that had some people around it and a little further to the right a door that opened into another closed space. Probably the pool house. She walked over there, trying to hide it so no one would see her, and went inside. She closed the front door slowly and headed towards the bathroom.

The place was dark, with only the lights outside. So she was holding her hand into to some stuff until he found the door. She went in and turned on the light. The bathroom was spacious, with a large sink and a huge mirror in front of it. She closed herself off and looked at herself in the reflection.

That was crazy. She had never done that at parties. Not even when she was drunk. And now she was there, looking forward to what might happen. In fact she knew what was going to happen, just as she knew when she invited him up to her apartment that night. But even so, she felt butterflies in her stomach in anticipation.

After almost 10 minutes of waiting she heard the bathroom door open and she turned in the direction, feeling extremely anxious. Tom came in looking over his shoulder and closed the door soon after, looking at her with an opening grin. He locked the door slowly with one hand and came towards her in a hurry.

The next thing she felt was his lips pressing against hers urgently. He kissed her like it was the last thing he would do. Running her tongue over her lips asking permission and Y/n opened it slowly letting him explore her mouth with his burning tongue.

She ran her hand around the back of his neck pulling his hair and he responded by holding her waist tightly. Tom walked forward and she leaned her back against the sink counter. Making him lift her with agility, sitting her down on the cold surface and getting between her legs. She grunted in surprise against his mouth and he broke the kiss for air. Kissing from her neck to her collarbone and she closed her eyes feeling his touch.

- Tom... - she said in a low voice. - You won't get in trouble if you disappear like that? -he now kissed her neckline and squeezed her thigh with desire.

- Not if we're fast darling. -He spoke a bit husky, moving his kisses to her earlobe, biting lightly and she moaned low. - And despite loving your sounds, you will have to be silent. - He looked at her smiling maliciously. - Promise? -He spoke touching her nose with his lightly, looking at her closely, and she nodded making him attack her lips next.

Still kissing her he pulled the hem of her dress up a little and she bit his lip making him smile against the kiss. Her fingers reached her inner thigh and then moved up to her panties. Tom put the fabric aside with one of her fingers and passed one slowly at her entrance feeling her wetness.

- Always ready for me aren't you darling? -He said pulling his mouth away from hers, staying just a few centimeters away from her. She moaned softly again and he smiled as he pulled her fingers away and replaced them around her thighs pulling her closer to the edge of the sink. He started to finger her really slowly and she bite her lips, trying to control her moaning. Tom keep his pace just watching her face squirm with pleasure. After seconds he removed his delicious fingers making her almost protest out loud, makind him smile even more. If wasn't for the rush he would definitively make his time with you.

Y/n then put his hands on the collar of his shirt and opened the first buttons. Kissing his neck with desire, making him squeeze her thighs in response. Biting her lips he unfastened his belt and then the buttons of his pants pulled them down along with his boxers, revealing his cock. He pulled her in for one more kiss before taking the condom package from his pocket and opening it, meanwhile Y/n was kissing uncovered place she could reach, from his face to his chest, opening more buttons of his shirt.

Tom adjusted the condom on his cock before taking a few thrusts. He moved even closer to her, if that was even possible, and gave her a peck.

- Ready? He spoke softly against her lips and she nodded almost in despair, wanting to feel him inside her more than anything.

He smiled once more and slid his cock easily as she was completely wet. Tom growled low against her ear and Y/n bit her lip so no sound could come out. He started to move, after she was more adjusted to his size, at first slowly and starting to increase his pace with each second.

-Fuck... - he cursed softly against her ear and she pulled the hair from his neck with one hand, while the other squeezed his shoulder. The more he increased the pace she felt as if she were coming off the ground. - So tight darling... - he said between small grunts. - Feels so good...

- Tom... - Y/n spoke and he increased the pace even more making her moan with the sudden sensation of pleasure and he muffled her sounds by sticking his lips on hers.

-Shh… - he said after moving his lips from hers and Y/n tried her best to keep the sounds to herself, but he filled her perfectly and made her feel so good that she couldn't help it. Tom smirked and put his hand over her mouth, covering her moans. - Can't contain yourself? -he said and kissed her neck giving light bites and hickeys. -You're so easy for me, love... Look at you...- he spoke in a low voice, while still holding his hand firm in her mouth and kissing below her ear. - So easy...- he said going faster, as if it were possible, and bit his lower lip trying to contain his own moans this time, touching his nose to her cheek.

- Please…- she managed to speak muffled against his hand, feeling her orgasm quickly building.

- I know sweetheart... - he said making her feel his heavy breath into her cheek. -I got you ...-he finally said and that was enough for her orgasm to release with force, making him also come right after her with one last muffled grunt against her neck. He continued to move slowly for a few more seconds, before coming to a complete stop. The two of them with their breaths out of control. Reaching their high.

After a few minutes Tom took his hand from her mouth and soon after took his member out of her slowly. The two were silent the entire time. Y/n felt empty as soonTom walked away to clean up, still half dazed from all the pleasure she just felt. He cleaned himself up and discarded the condom, zipping his pants and turned around, buttoning his shirt right away. Y/n didn't take her eyes off every move he made and he smiled approaching her.

- Want some help darling? - he asked standing in front of her and she held in his arms before he helped her getting down from the sink. She felt a little dizzy and if it wasn't for him holding her she thought she would fall. - You're right? - he asked still holding her on her waist.

- Yes...Thank you... - she managed to say.

- Well, I have to go, before they notice that I'm gone... - he said, releasing her.

- Of course... - Y/n said. - Tom… - she didn't know what to say. It might be the second time they'd done this, but it still felt like it was the first and she felt somewhat embarrassed. Maybe because she wasn't used to casual sex.

- See you soon? - He said giving a quick kiss on her cheek, fixing his hair in the best way he could and winking as he walked away, going to the door and unlocking it. He got out and closed it behind him while she back staring into the mirror.

She took a deep breath and was trying to figure out what to do next. After cleaning her up she finally got out of there. She crawled to the door and managed to get through the party without the weird looks she thought everyone would send to her when they bumped into her. For some reason she thought everyone would know, but obviously not. She felt weird doing that at an party, it really wasn't like her. But why did she feel so good?

She looked around before heading out of the house, but she didn't find Tom in her vision and she didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She wanted to look at him one last time from afar, but at the same time she didn't. Maybe that was the last time they were going to do that. She didn't think she'd find him like this anywhere else, and she didn't intend to go to the bar he worked at just to get another night with him. Besides, that's what she was, just one night, just a "quickie" in the bathroom. And everything was fine. He was that for her too, so what did it matter?

For a moment she felt his head fill with ideas. Y/n had a perfect plot for her story now. She had to go home and get back to writing right away. Calling the driver from a distance, she practically ran towards the car.

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vaguely-concerned · 3 years

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X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol)

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol)

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you?

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???)

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic

- ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!!

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha)

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

- remy rogue

🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence

baby u r my

ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it)

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents)

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do

birds of a feather motherfucker

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet)

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha)

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go”

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most.

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage)

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s p r e t t y solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D:

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!!

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all)

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol)

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

#x men evolution #x men #gambit #rogue x gambit #aaah this is like therapy for me... just dumping all my emotions into a tumblr post and then let them go into the ether #I am now wondering if I'm desperate enough to go all the way back to the x-men animated series (which I've never seen before!)#like am I willing to go there for more Contente. time will tell I suppose #happy tag #...this is very long #MAN why can't I channel this dumbass energy into fiction writing I'd get so much DONE

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the-fandom-is-now-my-life · 3 years

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Hc inverse au! Fem Reader in Victorian era England and ynm characters are in our time.

You are a character in an anime and ynm are in real life

Williams

( he seems like the type to be into really dense, historical mangas)

He first read a manga featuring you when one of his students left their copy on their desk and he had to overview some students while they were using the presentation room.

He mostly just sat in the first row while the group of teens were recording hamlet for the theater class.

He didn't really took the story seriously so he started reading a lady who was trying to seduce a noble for a few pages, he was about to leave the manga given that he supposed it was a hentai but when you poisoned them with the wine cup he found it interesting

The main character had a set of very strong ideals that weren't so common in the historical context, be it strip nobles and royals from benefits, be a suffragette, or something similar .He ate the manga in five minutes

When he returns home (and leaves the item in lost objects, ofc) he checks online to buy the first volume to see if the background and sort are interesting along with every other volume and official light novel and Novella . He usually isn't home from very early to very late at night so it would be Louis most likely the one who receives the box with the books

"Brother, did you buy a box full of comics" Louis asks from the kitchen after he feels his older brother returning home

" oh? They already arrived? I thought they would be here next week" well Louis always was worries about how his brother didn't have any hobbies aside from teaching at the University so he was happy that he found something else to do with his life

He would ask for a sick day on a Monday or Friday so he could plan everything that was needed at his class that day and spend the weekend lazing around and reading the various volumes and the light novels. That day Louis and albert almost cried of happiness, that was the first time he took a sick day in all of his teaching years to take a break

The type of fan who creates theories that everything is symbolism, how they are ambidextrous to show that even if they intend good sometimes their methods are too extreme or how their hat was placed or the color of their clothes show their political affiliation. Nothing can be just a coincidence with him, everything means something

Is a big pain in the ass about historical inaccuracies, be it dress, manners or social hierarchy being off

" But listen this is the late Victorian era, where is their crinoline??/ They are supposed to be a Victorian dandy and the writer wants me to believe they would wear that? In that society?" williams turned on the lights to his younger brother room while walking in circles as if he was trying to calm down

" Williams it's 3 am. Please I want to sleep"

" Oh and don't let me get started when they crossdressed/dressed as lady northinburg, that tight lacing scene made me so angry" he was dragging his words, Louis guessed he was sleep drunk " how much I hate that, karolina or bernadette would kill those producers if they saw it" Louis simply opted to sleep while his brother was ranting about how the hairstyles were al wrong

When speaking of merchandising he appreciates his mature and elegant reputation so he would buy small things like cute stationery and notebooks and a few pens. Most of them either are about the main character, you, or have the anime title or something similar

A few students think that the professor brings some childish pens in case some student forgets one and he doesn't have to give them his mechanical pencil. He actually uses those pens when he is grading the exams. His notebook annotations look a lot cleaner and are more colorfully bc of the markers and pens

When and if your manga gets and anime he would be 100 percent bitching about how they skipped, if you are a minor character, scenes where you are introduced or you character gets development.

" Oh my goodness, they skipped to this ark? And 'the mask'? In that ark we get the development of many characters, yn, edward, Amélie, Alex. We are absolutely robed of their backgrounds and aspirations and how they are all connected"

" Brother be honest with yourself, you only wanted more animated yn, you follow their voice actor on twitter"

" That is not my point!"

Albert

he was watching it when he came late

Albert usually keeps company to his youngest brother until around 5-6 pm, then he leaves for work and returns around 12 am and eats dinner alone mostly.

When he returns from his job the house is more often than not totally dark so he makes his way to the kitchen and microwaves the leftovers and eats silently.

But one day it seems like Louis or williams forgot to turn off the TV before going to bed, he was about to turn it off but decided that watching something with the tv muted wouldn't wake his brothers up and kept watching.

He didn't pay much attention to it at the start but it became routine, he comes home, heats the food, sits down and watches that show so he grew quite fond of it

How much attention he pays to it depends on the type of plot it has, if it is light-hearted humor he would most likely not pay much attention but laugh when a joke came, one the other hand, if it's a more serious he would find it hard to take his eyes away from the screen

Second least likely to buy merchandising, if he buys it's mostly to wear home, a one size too big shirt for a pj (mostly for the comedy anime) or, if they aren't childish and look professional maybe a pocket watch like the one x character uses ( in the more serious one)

Won't buy the mangas if there are any because he is happy watching the animated version and already has to read a lot at work, but if he is gifted the volumes he will read them sparingly, maybe he will finish one volume every week and a half, unlike williams.

Louis

He spends most of his time home because of his illness and doesn't like to stress too much given that it makes the symptoms worse, he enjoys light hearted comedies or cooking in the victorian era or those typical time travelers who now have to live in different situations than those they are used to

He most likely found it after doing all the housework and being bored so he opted to browse the TV or netflix and fell on one specific serie

If it is a comedy he will listen to it while cleaning or cooking, he feels like he does everything faster and the housework is more enjoyable that way.

If it's a cooking related program he will watch as entertainment after doing everything and to get ideas what to cook, he is always surprised with the recipes that your character comes up with, be them savory ( things he will absolutely do the next day for lunch or dinner) or sweet ( things he will make more sparingly given he can't have too much sugar). I think of mangas and series like the duchess' 50 te recipes or shokugeki no soma

If it the third option he was interested on the alternatives to modern things, like how to make a more natural soap with animal fat and wood ash, or how to use certain plants to help a headache or stomach bug.

With merchandising he doesn't buy much, some kitchenware and some bowls mugs and maybe a tea set that isn't much of an eyesore. Overall he isn't all that crazy over that kind of things if there is a cooking book he will definitely buy it

He, like albert, doesn't care much about historical accuracy and if the events that happen are cohesive, he is there to have fun

Fred

He watched it because he heard his classmates talk about it and wanted to join them but was too scared to bother them if he didn't know anything. Baby has the social abilities of an anxious lobster

He comes home from college and looks the anime up in his phone and, like every broke college student, he watches it from an illegal streaming service.

He gets hooked up and stays all night watching it until his clock snaps him out of his trance and makes him drag his feet to his 7:30 am class

Fred tries and fails to talk to the group so, after the lesson, he drags himself to his room to be miserable alone. It's not until he reaches a certain chapter or episode where you say something that make him think, " if you wish to be loved you must face first your fear to be known" he keeps thinking about it, he didn't truly ever talk to the group, he cowarded before even trying.

The next week at that same lecture he approaches the group and tries to make some small talk

" Oh hey uhm i heard the past class that you liked (maga name)" he was this close to running to his desk and act as if nothing happened

" Yeah! You like it too?" The boy seemed to notice fred was nervous

" Yes! I really like it, what is you favorite character? Mine is yn" he certainly didn't have any favorite one before but after this he thinks your character is pretty good " they are really inspiring"

In terms of merch he is broke so there is none, If he had any money to spare he would buy notebooks and even those chibi statues or funko pops

#yuumori #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty x reader #albert james moriarty #professor moriarty #moriarty the patriot #mtp #ynm #gn reader #william moriarty #williams james moriarty x reader #louis moriarty

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Static Shock: Shock to the System and Aftershock Review

“You know what? 13 years ago, me and some friends sat in a restaurant all night and daydreamed about the kinds of stories we would tell if we had the chance. We wanted to expand the concept of superhero to include characters that kind of looked like us, who had some of the same background, experiences and dreams as we did. We wanted to create something fun that a new generation would respond to the same way we responded to our childhood heroes -and damn if we didn't succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Today, Static Shock is a household name with millions of fans of all ages (Is there stuff I'd do differently? Yeah, almost all of season four but why nitpick?) Static is the most successful thing I've ever helped create and I'm both proud and gratified that people have taken it into their hearts. “

Dwayne McDuffie, Co-Creator of Static and Writer for Static Shock

This review is dedicated to Dwayne McDuffie and Robert L. Washington III. Rest In Power Static Shock is awesome. I grew up with the show watching it both first run on the WB and second run on Cartoon Network and loved it as much as I did other large parts of my childhood courtsey of DC like Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans and both Justice League Shows. What makes this unique among the DC Properties is that Static wasn’t really a big name when he got a show. He wasn’t even part of the DC Universe.

See as I had no idea for probably a good decade, Static actually came from Milestone Comics, a company ran by and focused on african americans. The goal was understandable: While black heroes existed at the time, and there were some fantastic ones like Storm, Jim Rhodes and Steel... these guys weren’t the center of their universes. The big faces of the big companies, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash.. were white. So milestone was a shakeup of that with the main teams and heroes all being black, from Icon, an alien who’d lived among man but rather than end up in kansas like say superman ended up imprinting on a slave woman centuries ago and has been with us since, who was encouraged by an energetic teenager named Rocket to put on a costume and do something with his powers and his community, Hardware, a tech genius who had his work stolen by a white asshole and wanted to fight back and BLood Syndicate, a group of gang members all caught in the “The Big Bang”, a huge fight between all of Dakota, the midwest city where the comics take place, that ended when the police released a bunch of experimental gas that gave them all super powers.

As most of you who have watched the show already know, this is where Static comes from. Static was the company making their own Spider-Man, i.e. a nerdy teenager who suddenly gets super powers, in this case Virgil Hawkins who at the prodding of a friend took a gun to The Big Bang to get revenge on a bully. .but ultimately couldn’t go through with it, decided it wasn’t him and got rid of the gun and ran.. and still ended up in it, becoming Static, a young hero dedicated to using his powers to fight other “Bang Babies”.. a term that dosen’t really sound that great and they really should’ve thought through. But Phrasing aside the character was great and I look forward to reading more and only haven’t because I have to buy the issues gradually, but DC is currently re-releasing the individual issues of Static, Icon, and Hardware weekly in anticipation of a reboot of Milestone Coming in May digitally on Comixology at only 2 bucks a pop, and rereleased the original print collections that were long out of print for 10 bucks each, though i’m getting static on it’s own since i’ts really not that much less expensive as it only collects four issues while Icon and Hardware both collect 8, so I can wait a bit there on Hardware and already own Icon: A Hero’s Welcome.. and really need to review it at some point.

While Milestone’s output was good, at least from the two books i’ve read, with Robert Washinton III, who sadly not only ahs also passed but was fucking homeless for a while in the 2000′s.. what the actual hell, writing Static alongside Dwayne McDuffie, whose later moved onto animation writing tons of Static episodes all of them classics including the school shooting episode, the first three rubberbandman episodes and both Anasazi episodes. Point is it had good writers and artists and even had a distrbution deal with DC, so they had a leg up on the glut of other comic book companies.. but happened to start at the start of the comic book crash, a huge downturn in sales in the 90′s as the speculator boom, i.e. a bunch of people assuming every number one would be worth golden and silver age money, forgetting a character has to BUILD INTREST and this stuff takes time, and whose attempts to sell fast flooded the market with comics no one wanted,, caused the roof to cave in and with a bunch of assholes pegging milestone as a “Company for black people” rather than you know, a company trying to add fucking diversity and represntation to the comics industry, and that simply wanted a unvierse that was centered around people of color instead of white guys. The company eventually had to shut down, and was left to lisencing. This is where the show comes in. Producers HAD been trying to make shows based on Milestone for a while, as far back as the mid-90s and the company was was all for it but the closest it got was an x-men style team series using various characters whose first draft was terrible and whose second draft by Alan Burnett, a producer on various DC Animated shows who’d go on to produce Static Shock, that McDuffie and others really liked but sadly did not get picked up. eventually though with presistance Static ended up getting a series and as I said McDuffie went on to write for it though he did not develop it. Some changes went into place naturally to make it work for an early 2000′s kids show and while i’ll probably miss so since again, only read one issue as we go. But due to Milestone coming back my intrest was peaking, hence finally reading the copy of Icon I had to buy from the library years ago due to keeping it overdue but am now EXTREMLEY glad I own as i’ts incredibly rare and really damn good, and wanting to read static, doing so lately since it’s finally on digtiial and again not too expensive. So join me as I give you a shock to the system and revisit this hell of a series to see if it holds up.. which just to cut that short it does and i’m only holding off binging MORE because I want the first two eps to be fresh enough in my head to review properly.. and also go over the various voice actors because that’s a thing with me now and charcter co-creator dwayne mcduffie because he’s awesome.

As I like to do when covering a series first episodes, let’s run down the voice cast.

First up is an UTTER LEGEND, and I use the term voice acting legend a lot, and mean it every time and have good reason to use it when I say it, and Phil LaMarr is a GOD in the buisness, having done a metric ton of voice acting roles, and being easily the most proflific black voice actor in animation. He’s also done some acting work, mostly in pulp fiction which I have not seen, but his true staying power and talent is in animation so here’s just the roles I feel are most notable or may not be very notable but i’m bringing up anyway because it’s my list.

His roles besides Virgil include Lester Payton the Texas Ranger who showed up for one very good episode of king of the hill to be badass and show up the hickish, stupid and very punchable local Sheriff, Gearld’s obnoxious older brother Jamie O on Hey Arnold, Hermes Conrad from futurama, Carver from the Weekenders (PUT IT ON PLUS DISNEY), Axel Foley for exactly one bit in Clerks the Animated Series, but anyone whose seen it will know exactly which one, Micheal on the Proud Family, Black Vulcan on Harvey Birdman (In His Pants), Hector Con Carne and Dracula on Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Evil Con Carne, Jack on Samurai Jack something I didn’t know for decades (and I didn’t know about the carver thing till today though i’ts obvious in hindsight), John Motherfucking Stewart on Justice League and later Steel and Adult Static in the Unlimited seasons, Osmosis Jones on Ozzy and Drix, Bolbi Strogofski on Jimmy Neutron (And yes i’m just as shocked as you are.), Wilt on Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Marcus on Life and Times of Juniper Lee, Bull Sharkowski on My Gym Partner is A Monkey and Also a Sociopath Please Help God My Life is a waking nightmare..... okay the rest of that title is implied but we all watched the same show, we all know in our hearts that was the title

Moving on, he was also, and yes there’s MORE: Maxie Zeus on The Batman, Philly Phil on Class of 3000, Both Robertsons AND Fancy Dan on the Spectacular Spider-Man, Jazz on Transformers Animated, Kit Fisto and Bail Organa on Star Wars the Clone Wars, Gambit and Bolivar Trask on Wolverine and the X-Men, Aquaman I, L-Ron and Green Beetle on Young Justice, J.A.R.V.I.S. and Wonder Man (Simon Williams) In Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Gabe and Carny on Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters (Really miss that game and have been snapping up what cards I can get lately), Baxter Stockman in the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (And there’s also an awesome photo of him with 2003 Baxter... the two best together in one place. I got chills), Dormammu (I’ve come to bargin) in various Marvel Shows, Noville in Mighty Magiswords, Zach’s dad Marcus in Milo Muprhy’s Law, Craig’s Douchey Brother Benard on Craig of the Creek, showing he’s clearly come full circle, And Mr. Scully on the Casagrndes. And given It took about two paragraphs to cover all of this, yeah, I MEANT legend.

Next we have Kevin Micheal Richardson as Virgil’s Dad Robert, and it’s the first time since I started introducing Voice Actors on a show that i’ve overlapped. I already covered him during the second episode of legend of the three caballeros, but for the short version he’s also very acomplished, very damn good and I somehow missed he played the old blind guy in hey arnold> Needless to say the dude is awesome.

Virgil’s Sister Sharon is played by Michele Morgan who was in the rap group BWP and did some smaller roles outside of this the one exception being Juicy on the PJ’s, which I have not watched much of but REALLY do not like, though i’ll at least give it credit for being a decently long lasted black claymation sitcom at at time when there were, and hoenstly still aren’t, many black animated shows.

Back to long casting sheets, next up is Jason Marsden, who is one of my faviorites as i’ve realized recently as Ritchie. As I also found out only recently he started on the Sitcom Step By Step and while that show is .. ehhhhhhhhh, he is great in it because he’s great in everything. He also apparently has his own internet variety show which I have to watch now. His roles include Max Goof, ironically given I was just talking about that role a few days ago, Haku in the english dub of Spirted Away, Micheal, the kid being yelled at by a bunch of 80′s cartoons characters not to take drugs in Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!, Nermal in the DTV Garfield movies and The Garfield Show, Tino on the Weekenders (SERIOUSLY DISNEY), Snapper Carr on Justice League, Rikochet on Mucha Lucha! for the last season (Why I do not knkow and while I love the guy he was not the right choice), Felix on Kim Possible, Chase Young on Xiaolin Showdown (WHich I did not realize was him and now I do easily his best role and I REALLY should’ve), Red Star and Billy Numerous on Teen Titans, Speedy on Batman Brave and the Bold, Impulse/Kid Flash II on Young Justice, and Fingers on Kaijudo. He hasn’t done as much lately which is a shame but hopefully i’tll pick up again.

Next up is Hotstreak, Virgil’s brutal bully turned unhinted pyromancer played by DANIEL COOKSY, another actor i’m happy to talk about and another faviorite I haven’t seen much of lately. Daniel was an actor from childhood, playing Budnick on Salute Your Shorts, but he quickly gained a long and storied catalogue of VA Work: His first big roll was as Montana Max on Tiny Toon Adventures and if there is a god he’ll be back for the reboot, Stoop Kid on Hey Arnold, the incomprable Jack Spicer on Xiaolin Showdown, far and away his best role and part of why Chronicles sucked so bad was he was he didn’t get to reprise the role, The titular Dave the Barbarian, Django of the Dead on El Tigre (Had no idea), Kicks utterly insufferable big Brother Brad on Kick Buttowski and apparently he’s back at it again after laying low for a bit as he’s voicing Snag in Long Gone Gultch.. which I already really needed to watch but hot damn, I missed him. Sign me up.

Frieda, Virgil’s crush and close friend who in the comics was his main confidante and love intrest but here is eventually pushed aside, is voiced by Danica Mckeller whose work didn’t seem all that familiar.. until I found out she was Ms. Martian on Young Justice. Hello, Megan. Very talented and she did get a major role in a dc show eventually so good for her. Can’t wait for season 4.

So with our major players out of the way, let’s talk about Dwayne. McDuffie is an AWESOME man and my respect has grown for him more and more with time. A writer and editor at Marvel, McDuffie has a decent resume doing smaller but awesome books, which I got most of for free last year when Marvel was giving out free digital collections due to the lock down, like Damage Control, a sitcom set in the marvel universe about the company that picks up after superhero battles and the logistics and antics that insue and Dethlok, about a pacfist trapped inside a cyborg zombie. He was as mentioned one of Milestone’s founders, and wrote Icon, Hardware and co-wrote the first few issues of Static. He’d go on to a pretty stacked career in animation, writing on this show and Justice League before becoming story editor and show runner for Unlimited , even making a return to comics as a result writing the Marvel miniseries beyond and an arc of Fantastic Four in which Black Panther and Storm filled in for Reed and Sue while the two of them worked on their marriage after Reed did.. pretty much everything he did in Civil War. He also became head writer and show runner for Ben 10: Alien Force and Ultimate Alien, revamping the franchise a bit, and Alien Force, at least the first two seasons are awesome and I feel people overreacted on the changes. Ultimate Alien is okay, but has it’s problems but the finale was awesome and left the man’s legacy on a high note.. as he sadly passed in 2011 due to heart complications. He is truly missed and produced some utterly amazing stuff whlie he was alive. So on that melacholy note let’s see what happens when his creation hits the tv screen shall we?

Shock to the System:

This episode is written by Christopher Simmons, who is apparently a huge art designer guy.. but i’m not sure that’s the same chirsptoher simmons. Much more notable is the writer of the episode after this Stan Berkowitz, who was showrunner for season 1 and has done a LOT of DCAU work and is suprising talent, having written a lot of awesome Justice League episodes including Secret Society and The Royal Flush One. Point is we’re in first class hands. Before the episode itself I want to talk about the intro and how it’s unique among DCAU shows. Like most Western Animation the intros for DCAU shows didn’t change much over the seasons with the most I can see is JLU changing up the footage to preview the current episode and later adding Hawkgirl to the intro after her return to the team. I THINK superman the animated series changed some of it’s footage too, but I can’t confrim it and may of just been imagining it. As i’ve talked about on my blog it’s normally a pet peeve of mine, mostly because shows you know, change after season 1, characters get added some one shot characters used for the intro never return, and after a while it can feel dated especially in more recent shows where the status quo is not at all set in stone and things change quite a bit. But sometimes it can be good enough that either the dated elements don’t matter or general enough that you don’t need to change it and i’ts just that good.. and given Batman the Animated Series has both in spades, you can see why i’ts probably my golden standard for intros and after superman the animated series DC mostly followed suit. But being part of the teen superhero boom of the 2000′s Static is unique in that it splits the diffrence: It’s intro gets the character across perfectly like a good intro should starting with Virgil getting out of bed and running a comb across his head before showing off to his sister to bug her and literally running into his dad who hand shim his bag and smiles, silently showing off his family. He then runs to school and runs into some trouble.. and said trouble changes for each intro, with Rubberband Man for season 1, Kanga (Whose name I only know because I happened to run across it) for season 2 and your guess is as good as mine for seasons 3 and 4, though Hotstreak is a constant. They still save some money for seasons 1 and 2 by recycling some animation.. but that’s alright with mea s it was good animation, and the improtant thing is cycling out old villians for new ones, while Season 3 is the only out and out redo to show off Richie taking on the Gear identity, adding about 10 seconds of intro to let him show off. Seriously it’s an utterly great intro and like the other DCAU intros outside of superman, stuck in my brain.

The other change that’s ENTIRELY diffrent from the rest of htem is that the music changes each time. The first two have the same formula just with a difrent vocalist and backing track: a superhero theme but with some hip hop beat boxing over it. The first intro is fine enough, not specattcular but stilll god. The second song.. is eh. Not really great and feels like a marked downgrade from season 1 and just dosen’t blend an ocrehstiral superhero theme with the beatbox elements NEARLY as well. The third song though is my faviorite.. even if I HATED Little Romeo as a kid because I really did not like his nick show, it’s more a straight up rap song, but it has a faster beat that fits the intro better, and Romeo’s bragging fits Virgil’s character and penchant for Spidey quips perfectly. I also find it ironic that the theme that blends in with the dcau the most, the first season’s, is the one from BEFORE they decided to put it in the same universe. Still this season’s intro slaps, I just like the LIttle Romeo one a bit more. The opening scene is picture perfect. Some masked crooks looting a warehouse are loading some stolen TV’s into a van when suddenly the lights come on one by one above one of the crooks before his tv switches to various channels before going haywire. Cue our heroes’ entrance. Let’s tak ea good look at him

Static’s Costume is awesome. While I prefer the season 3 redesign, and clearly DC agrees as the redeisgn was used for both pre and post new-52 when they used him, and while he’s getting a fresh design for the reboot, said design takes a lot of cures from said outfit. As for how the outfit differs from the comics itself this is the design he had in the comics

It didn’t change much from the first issue, with the exception of his now iconic big puffy jacket which was added pretty early into the character’s history but I was unaware of that and just assumed he had the bodysuit the whole time. The more you know. But as you can see outside of the cool puffy jacket over a costume the two couldn’t be more diffrent. While the Dakotaverse outfit is more a standard superhero outfit, with some regular clothes touches on top the first cartoon outfit comes off more realistic, looking fantastic, but still coming off as something two teenagers could realistically have thrown together with what clothes they could buy, while still looking awesomely superheroy. IN short it’s perfect and only topped by the season 3 onward look...

But the slicker look, with an even cooler jakcet and the new colors all fitting the lighting ascetic better, but fits: not only has Virgil come along farther since he started, but with Richie now having a genius brain as Gear, he can provide a far slicker, far more professional superhero outfit on the budget the two have. This show is just great at costume design.

So getting back to the episode at hand, Static puts up a huge sign in elecrticy saying “Bad guys here”, PFFFT, and then hides away and narrates that a few days ago he’d be the last person anyone would’ve expected to be a hero. Cue Flashback.

We meet Virgil Hawkins on an average day: rapping into his razor, getting into a petty argument with his older sister Sharon, as a younger brother myself I relate to this, and talking to his dad who tries to get them to cut that out. We find out his mom has passed via his sister making really terrible eggs and saying that’s how mom made them. Exposition! Though we do get a great bit through this as when his sister gets distracted by her boyfriend calling, he uses the opportunity of her leaving the room to dump the eggs.. after having earlier jokingly prayed to his mom for a way out of breakfast. “Thanks for looking out for me mom” That’s both very sweet and very hilarious.

This is a change from the comics it turns out as I was utterly flored to find Virgil’s mom alive and well when reading the first issue of Static. Turns out this was a change made during development and one Dwane McDuffie admitted in the interview I got the tribute quote from to not liking as he had a good reason for having Virgil have a nuclear family, as most black families in media at the time were just one single parent and a kid or two with the other having either left or died. He wasn’t too bothered by it as while he preferred what he came up with in the first place, the show DID get some really good stories out of her being gone and didn’t just have her be absent because shut up. Virgil is still working over her death and the way HOW she died ends up playing an important role in this episode and gives Virgil a dislike of guns, as she died to gang violence. So the change wasn’t for stupid or racist reasons, but likely both to keep the character count down while giving them something to work with for storylines. Or it could’ve been for stupid reasons and the writers simpily made lemonade out of that very dumb lemon, either way it ended up working. Virgil also plans to ask his friend Frieda out. Frieda was a bigger deal in the comics, being Virgil’s friend and confidante as well as his ocasional love intrest, but here while she was inteded to at least be his love intrest here, that sorta fizzled out. As for the best friend role we meet her replacement in Richie, which McDuffie conceded was the kind of change a studio would make swapping out a female character for a male one. That being said the crew made the best of it and Richie is awesome, a bit of an overcompensating dipstick at times, but a good sounding board and pal for virgil and funny as hell too. He was also gay, something only revealed post series by McDuffie.. but unlike say Dumbledore, it’s a bit easier to swallow here: The early 2000′s were an even worse time for gay characters in tv let alone cartoons, and if they couldn’t kiss or have sex scenes on regular tv, there was no way we were getting any representation in a children’s show. So it was largely just hinted at by Richie overcompensating in how “into girls” he was and i’m once again fine with this being word of god as it was literally the best they could do and his counterpart in the comics was also gay, if not as relevant. Ritch encourages Virgil to work on his opening to ask her out as it’s awkward as heck, hits a bit close to home.. but I do appricate the show just .. having him try and ask her out from the first episode. They likely would’ve drug thigns out a bit granted had they used Frieda more, i’m not blind to the convetions of the time. .but as someone who got the very wrong idea from tv that just waiting around meant a girl would like you eventually, when no you need to actually try even if rejection happens, I honestly wish we had more of this in media than the other garbage morals at the time.

So he prepares to , not helped by her mentioning guy after guy is asking her out.... but before he can F-Stop, the future hotstreak, shows up. F-STOP

That being said...... it’s not as bad as the original gangster name for the comic’s version, Biz Money B. Yes BIZ MONEY B

So yeah while F-Stop is no more intimidating, it at least means I can stop laughing. Francis, because I can’t type F-Stop without laughing and this review is already behind, shoves Virgil out of the way and agressively hits on Frieda, even saying “you smell good”, the international sign your a douchebag and also to call the police. Virgil steps up to the guy and gets PAINFULLY slammed into the lockers, something I give the animation team a lot of credit for, as you can FEEL how fucking painful that was. Virgil is saved by Wade, another local gangbanger who in the comics was a close friend of Virgils but here saves him seemingly just because.. seemingly.

On the way home though Virg’s problems don’t end as naturally, the giant sized asshole with nothing better to do has his goons corner virgil before VIOLENTLY beating him.. off screen but the noises, and the clear brusies including a black eye, on virgil afterwords.. just holy damn i’m suprsied they got away with this but it shows just how horrifing it was and that this is a step above regular bullying, which make no mistake is absoluttley terrible and the series would later do an episode on it and school shootings, into straight up gang violence. Wade shows up again and gets the bastards to flee.. but also makes it clear he can’t keep doing this.. and forces Virgil to meet him at his base under the bridge. And it’s a tense sequence, with Virgil KNOWING this is a bad idea but having no real choice and Wade making it abundantly clear that he wants Virgil to join his crew, and makes a chilling point: while Virgils dad RIGHTFULLY dosen’t want his son to join a gang as Virgil points out.. he can’t be there for him all the time and eventually one of those times, Francis will be around. And he may not surivive that. Virgil nods noncomittaly. At home it gets even more grim as he dosen’t open up to his family, understandably as his dad would jsut say to call the police and well.. we’ve seen how the police treat black people. At best they’d just try and use Virgil as an informant and that likely wouldn’t end fucking well for Virgil. Ritchie points out he can’t join a gang, virgil’s mom died that way.. see told you it’d be important to the plot.. but I like how the story dosen’t offer an easy answer.. well okay he gets electric powers soon enough but without the fantastic element this is just an innocent kid caught between either joining the very thing his mom hated or hoping a system not built to protect him will keep him alive. It’s utterly saddening and chilling and holy shit is it amazing a cartoon in the early 2000′s was able to get away with.. ANY OF THIS, and they handle it great, paired down a bit from the comics but even then it’s still incredibly balsy they got THIS much in.

Naturally Wade calls in his favor and our hero is forced to come running.. and soon finds out Wade’s brought him in for a massive gang war. Welcome to the big bang, baby. He hands Virgil a gun as things get started and Virgil.. drops the thing and tries to escape, in a harrowing sequence.. and runs into Francis because god apparently REALLY hates this kid today. As if to prove that the police show up and while that prevents a beating, they demand they disassemble. then release untested gas on them because of course they do.

As a result the big bang truly begins, with the various gang members getting mutated.. and naturally so does virgil. Though he wakes up the next day seemingly fine. How’d he get home? Does his dad know where he was?

I don’t know and we’re not getting any answers, but Virgil soon finds weird stuff happening like his clock shorting out, change being attracted to him and his razor going wild. It’s only once he get sback to his room he gets an inkling of what’s going on and calls Ritchie to meet him at the Junk yard.. though it is a bit of a dick move as he dosen’t you know, tell him anything about Wade or Francis right away. He does at the yard though.. and that he has powers, having finally figured out how to use them to a point. And the series does provide a decent justification later as to why he’d get this so quickly: Virgil is a smart kid, gets great grades at school and apparnetly there’s even an episode later where he gets a scholarship to a fancy genius school. So him getting how elctromagntisim works or being a quick study on it makes perfect sense.

Richie suggest the obvious.. to become a superhero. And the thought.. hadn’t occured to Virgil. It’s honestly a nice twist on the old trope. That he hadn’t thought of it, not because he’s selfish or any of that or needs to learn a hard lesson, those have been done.. simply because the rush of getting his powers, and implicitly of having a way out of his current predciament, a way to keep Francis off his back and keep Wade from pulling him in further. His own path. But once i’ts brought up.. he jumps on it. Part of it is being a nerd like you or I, of course he wants to.. and being a good intetioned one, he knows this is the right thing to do. It’s waht makes a superhero a hero: Anyone can get powers in a universe like this, esepcailly the dcau, but it takes true courage and heart to use them selflessly and knowing you’ll be in danger. It’s why I love surperheroes: they often didn’t ask for this but they do it anyway because somebody’s gotta. We also get an intresting wrinkle is superman is, at least I think in this episode I could’ve missed it or misremembered things, mentioned as a fictional character. That’s because originally like the comics this wasn’t part of the DCAU.. but eventually the crew decided it shared staff from it, shared a network, both first run and on reruns, why not just make it part of the DCAU proper. I fully support this decisionf: While i’m midly annoyed unlimited never really used anything from static shock outside of Static himself in the time travel episode, despite you know Static and Gear having BEEN to the tower and not being much younger than Kara and defintely older than Courtney, I chalk it up to weird rights issues or something like that. But having Batman, Batman Beyond, Superman, Green Lantern and the Justice League itself all guest star was a good idea, and expanded both static’s universe and gave the DCAU something differnt as most heroes in it were older and more experinced in contrast to the up and coming virgil. Again really would’ve been nice if he and gear could’ve been a part of the expanded league but production might of just been too far ahead or, given he had his own series, they might just have wanted to stick to toher characters. Also begs the question why Icon or Hardware wasn’t adapted for the expanded League but hey, questions for later and the tricky logisitics of the milestone rights might’ve been the issue. I don’t know I wasn’t in the room.

So we get a costume montage, including Black Vulcan from Superfriends, who again ironically would be voiced by Lamarr not too long after this, though weirdly they DON’T use his outfit from the comics for this montage. I mean why not? It fits the gag and would’ve been a good second to last choice.But what could’ve been aside we get our winner and cut back to present day...

Thanks boys. Static finds out one of the things in the warehouse is a shipment of computers for the school and can’t help but show off, showing up to the school, where Frieda and Richie are setting up for the dance, and dropping off the computers, and even saying his catchphrase for the first time “I’ll put a shock to your system” (Which Richie chimes in with awesome line and I agree, great catcphrase), before helping set up and flirting with frieda.

Though as Richtie says he’s a natural. He’s not wrong as he can work a crowd. .but back it up too as his first run out had him easily taking out the crooks, and as many teen superheros and fans of heroes of hte type, myself included will tell you, getting it right in one is not easy. Not even Miles MOrales was immune. All Static needs now is a villian.

And the end of the episode provides one as we see, in horrifc and once again damn suprising detail most of hte new metas aren’t doing so good and are melting and other stuff and we catch up with Francis whose burning up.. and naturally given that hair, though given he named himself F-Stop it’s the least of his problems, he’s got fire powers and escapes to “Have me some fun”

So with that we end episode 1. And it’s excellent, a great way to introduce the hero and while the warehouse opening is a bit superflous, it is a decent addition, showing our heroes first outing in costume and giving us a bit of an action scene to get us through the very heavy rest of the episode. But the rest of the episode is no less grippping, telling the tale of a teen caught in an unwinnable scenario who suddenly finds a way out. And speaking of which waht of Wade? Will we see him again? Is he perhaps Ebon, the series big bad as I thought when I was a kid? What comes of the man who directly caused static’s origin?

Yeahhh that’s the one mistep I think the pilot makes. Frieda is understandable as that was likely a simple change in creative direction. This though? Why build this guy up if your not going to bring him back. I mean where he went was probably the grave, as he probably did due to his mutation, but it’s still VERY weird to spend a whole episode focusing on this guy, building him up as a big personal threat to our hero.. and NOT have him become the series big bad. And maybe he WAS supposed to be ebon and they just changed their mind. I don’t know but it bothers me it bothers me a lot. Otherwise though flawless. ONe more to go.

Aftershock: We open outside an electronics store, as our heroes watch the news reacap what happened in the first episode, with the media dubbing it the Big Bang and revealing their could be hundreds of “Metahumans”, as Virgil dubs after deciding the media’s term “Mutant” dosen’t fit, a nice wink to the fact that that’s the term used in dc comics and I believe milestone but could be wrong there. Me I like the term, has a nice ring to it.

At the store while Richie mulls over waht this means Static finds out he’s a human CD player.... this was before mp3 players and streaming on your phone made them horribly obsolete mind you and if you don’t know what one is congradualtions you live in some sort of bubble and you made me feel really old junior.

Frieda happens to be there and Virgil quips “What’s the matter they run out of britney cds”. Dude she’s not bad. Also be careful what you wish for man. Nickeback returned the year after this. You have not truly suffered through bad music yet my young friend. They spot a kid looking feverish, and he soon turns into a purple werewolf, as you do. It’s a bang baby.. those are richie’s exact word and you may not want to start a panic there bud. Just saying your best friend is one. THeir not all like this. Our heroes book it only to run into Francis who naturally refuses to let them leave and only doesn’t try to beat up Virgil because Virgil points otu the werewolf and nonplussed, he goes to fight it, scarring it off by revealing his own powers. He’s now dubbed himself Hotstreak which points for getting an actually good name kid. No points for what happens next as unsuprisingly getting powers did NOT mak ehim a better person and he attacks Virgil who blocks with a garbage can lid and thankfully is blasted into an ally. Richie tries to guard frieda for damn obvious reasons but gets hsi shirt burnt up because shut up Thankfully Static shows up, and we get our firsdt full on superhuman fight as both fight each other with aplomb, and it’s a damn good fight.. and one that goes pear shaped for Virg as he’s caught off guard when he finds out Hotstreak can use his powers to fly, and tackles him and his previous trauma causes him to freeze up. Thankfully , as Frieda put in a call earlier, the fire department arrive and HOt streak has to retreat, though Virgil is bummed that he “Choked”. And I love this as it not only shows Virgil’s inepxerince, as this is his first time fighting a bad guy but that just because he HAS power now dosen’t mean trauma and his previous fear of Hotstreak goes away or you won’t freeze up from time to time. It dosen’t make him weak or anything like some assholes would call it .. it makes him human. Humans make mistakes, and it makes him all the more relatable that he’s not pefect and that he did freeze up as I know I certainly would at last once in the circumstances.

Things don’t get better at dinner as Sharon and Pops argue over the bang babies with Pops calling them a meance and Sharon pointing out Static exists so they can’t all be bad. See assuming a group of superhumans are bad because a handful of them ar edick sis why the x-men had to get their own island nation. You can only save an ungreatful populous so many times before you say “fuck it i’m getting my own island, pay me for life saving drugs, save your damn selves and stop doing genocides on us. Kay thanks”. But he does bring up a valid point that rattles his son: We don’t know anything about the Bang Babies or their biological structures and it’s likely they might further mutate into monsters, Static included.

Virgil, understandably, wants to check this and thus he and richie compare blood samples in science, to no real conclusion. She he checks out with his doctor who assumes he’s sexually active in a great getting crap past the radar bit and a bit of realisim, but he agrees to the test though if something came up he would have to tell Virgil’s dsad and is up front about this. Nice dose of realisim.

That night City Council has a meeting and the Mayor TRIES to deflect Papa Hawkins questions about the bang babies which again, while being a judgmental ass as not every person hit was a gang member (Virgil, and as we discover later some others), and not every gang member is there by choice, some by circumstnace some, like virgil almost was, because they HAD no other option. Again years of reading x-men may of just made me a bit touchy on assholes admitely assuming superpower people bad. But it’s clear the public is upset and while she says an investigation is underway... Virgil and Richie are not only not convinced, but figure she’s actively covering it up. And unlike everyone else there who probably suspects the same, they can do something about it and tail her. It’s during this, and cleverly as I didn’t realie till writing this using similar skills to his human cd player act, Virgil listens in and discovers whose behind it: Edwin Alva, whose apparently richer than bill gates and a beloved phinarophist Alva, as it turns out, was actually the arch enemy of Hardware in the comics, taking advantage of the guy in his civiliian idtentiy and thus casuing him to launch a war on the asshole. He does transition into this series well though, being the one behind the gas that caused it and with the mayor agreeing to back off, planning to simply dump the info about the big bang on a disc then destroy everything for now till the heat dies down. Yup sounds like a corprate douchebag.

Static tails him, finds the lab and infiltrates it, stealing the disc.. but getting caught by Alva’s goon, and trapped in a glass prison, forced to use ALL his power to escape and barely getting out alive, but not before bouncing off alva’s car. Still he now has the proof.. and meanwhile Hotstreak, who I was wrong did get captured, is forced to take pill sbut spits them out once the orderly is gone. Dude.. WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH HIM. Make sure he swallows that shit especially since, as he has no powers right now and can’t harm you.

Hotstreak escapes off screen and our heroes discuss the disc before he shows up, and we get a REALLY fucking amazing scene: Virgil ducks into an Alleway and ritchie is worried.. and Virgil disarms him with just one word responses Ritchie: Virg you can’t take him. Virgil: Gotta. Ritchie: Well at least wait for the fire department Virgil: Can’t. It’s simpile but it gets the point across: This is his fight, he can’t wait for help, and people need him. And this is what makes a true hero: It’s easy to be a hero when everythings going well.. but it’s the true ones who stick it out against the odds and fight anyway. And he’s going to. So we get one hell of a fight, though naturally Hotstreak burns up the disc. And I do like this as it dosen’t feel contrived.. yes Static could’ve left it with ritchie.. but he wasn’t thinking in the moment and dind’t really have time to think abotu the disc, only that people were being hurt and he was all they had between them and Hotstreak. It was no choice at all. Still that pisses Virgil off that the last night’s work is now worthless, and he fully charges up and curbstomps francis who retreats into a clearing. Hostreak brags when static follows, as even he’s figured out Static needs to be around metal, as he’s usually on his disc or the street, and in the park there suppodsidly isn’t any. But he’s not THAT smart as Virgil points out two things: one, he hoped to do this on PURPOSE so they wouldn’t be around people and no on e would get hurt and 2).. this is a city, there’s metal everywhere.. and he awesomely and cleverly proves it by unlodging a sewage pipe with his powers and dousing his foe, winning and proving his stuff. I love this solution, it’s a clever spider-man type way to disarm him, using smarts and the einvroment instead of just brute forcing it. Though the sewage part wasn’t intetional our hero still won and gets praise from the people dumb enough to follow the fight.

However at home Virgil points out it was Pyrrhic Victory and shows off his smarts by telling the tale behind it, which I didn’t know,because tv tropes didn’t exist yet: king pyrhus fought the romans and WON.. but had so little armies left that he still lost overall. That’s what this feels like to Virgil: he beat hotstreak but any chance at a cure for Bang Babies and Alva going to jail for causing them is gone. His mood does get a boost though as the doctor calls and reveals he’s fine, he just has a bit too much elctrolytes and just needs to lay off teh salt. He celebrates, we get a quick gag and the episode ends

Aftershock is another stellar episoe, giving us Virgil’s first super foe and a personal one at that, while showing some growth. As richie tells him he’s not virgil anymore he’s static and he can’t let his past get to him.. and he does’nt going from cowering in fear to easily beating his foe with simple logic. It’s a good followup that answers questions you may have from the first ep, like what does this do to virgil’s body, who supplied the gas, and why has no one done anything about this, and sets up another villian for Static in Alva. Great stuff. I highly recommend these episodes and the show as a whole: it’s fast paced, grounded and enjoyable, having just enough levity to not be too dour but just enough tension and stakes to be intresting. A throughly fantastic superhero show and one that i’d certainly love to revisit on this blog If you have an episode of static or the dcau in general you’d want me to cover, my comissions are open and details are on a tab on my blog or can be gotten simply by asking me via ask or dm. Tommorow we’re going deeper underground, there’s too much damage in this town as the Lena Retrospective continues. So expect gay ducks, straight ducks and some terrfirmains. See you next rainbow.

#static shock #static #virgil hawkins #richie foley #robert hawkins #sharon hawkins #hotstreak #milestone comics #dc comics #dc animated universe #dcau #dwayne mcduffie #robert l washington IIII #kids wb #hbo max #2000s #animation #black lives matter #black history month

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erekiosuncreativeideas · 3 years

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The Part-Time Puppeteer - Chapter 06

<= Chapter 5

Summary : Lukas gets to have a heart-to-heart discussion with an absolute asshole. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828971/chapters/81015496

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AAAAH I'M SORRY FOR THE TWO MONTHS HIATUS I HAD A WRITER BLOCK---

Anyway uuuh, new chapter, I have no idea if it's good or not but still, here it is. I did my best to offer you a longer chapter as a compensation, it's twice the length of the last one.

Happy reading ! Thank you for waiting all this time.

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Chapter 6 - “Oh. It’s you.”

The rest of the day had been… Quite blurry for the student. After coming back home, he had sat down at his desk, staring into space for… Minutes, hours, he hadn’t been able to tell. It was an understatement to say that he was in shock after what had happened. Even after everything, his mind couldn’t help but think this was just a joke, or that he had imagined the whole thing. But the script in his bag was a proof of the contrary. For a good while, the young man hadn’t found the courage to look back at it, as if it were some sort of cursed object, haunting him. But then, the Conductor’s words came back to him: “learn your text by tomorrow”. An order, a clear one, coming from one of his bosses. The student shivered as he remembered, soon bringing his hands to his face, massaging his closed, tired eyes. Oh, boy, why did he always get in that kind of situation… Even when he was a kid, he would often get dragged in things like this. He had thought this would get better as he grew up, but noooo, of fucking course it wouldn’t. Lukas let out a loud, long, exaggerated sigh, and stood up. He walked to his sofa bed all while dragging his feet and, once he was in front of it, it was like what was left of his energy left him. What a day . With another sigh, the student felt his body fall forward, and it wasn’t long before his face hit one of his pillows. Air was forced out of his lungs by the impact, though he did nothing but grunt in the fabric. Him? An actor? This couldn’t be right, this just… It wasn’t right. Sure, MJ was a jerk, but he still had the skills and the experience! In comparison, Lukas was just a law student- not a bad one, mind you, which only made it even more surprising to see him getting the role. It wasn’t like he had chosen the wrong scholar path, no, on the contrary, he was skilled in his major. But apparently, his bosses had seen something else deep inside that walking shell of anxiety… -“Uuuuugh...” his voice was low and tired. For a moment, he thought he was almost going to fall asleep like this, still wearing his clothes, but he reluctantly sat down. With a look full of weariness and unwillingness, the student’s attention went back to his bag, in which the script was. He didn’t want to learn the lines, and a single glance at his desk full of homework was a good way to understand why. But it seemed like his paycheck was now depending on it, as much as he would have preferred to remain a stagehand… -“Guess I don’t have a choice…” he mumbled, before moving his foot to reach for the bag, making it slide towards him, so he could open it. He supposed that he would be able to scribble down the answers to his homework during his lunch break… Or, at least, he hoped. And so, the young man spent the next two hours learning his lines, saying them out loud, so he could remember them. A good thing about his brain was that it learned pretty well from words and sounds. Thus, by saying them out loud, Lukas was pretty efficient in remembering them. Plus, truth to be told, those lines weren’t exactly as hard to learn as his law books… Not that it was a bad thing, far from it. At least, it made his job far easier. However, he wasn’t going to lie, there were a few parts that were harder to remember. Once he was done, the student hesitated on whether he should go to sleep (the reasonable option) or try to get some of his homework done. Sure, he was pretty tired, and the day had been filled by a lot of diverse emotions… But part of him knew he just wouldn’t be able to fall asleep knowing what awaited him the day after. He had always been very anxious, this was a secret to no one, and especially not himself… However, this whole thing was very new, and it made it all worse. And so… The student ended up staying up late until three in the morning, managing to get most of his homework done. One of the perks of being good at a subject was being fast. Of course, this would have given him much better results if he had worked on it seriously, without all the tiredness and all, but the context wasn’t really allowing him that.

Thus, Lukas packed up his college stuff for the next day and soon went to sleep for one very short night. Oh, well, not his first, far from it. Thankfully, he had a few sleeping meds he had kept from an old treatment, allowing him to fall asleep rather quick. However, this always came at a price- they made waking up a much more difficult moment, as his body was still very much under the influence of the medicine when that happened. And the next morning… Was no exception, especially since he only got to sleep for less than three hours. Fighting the urge to go back to sleep, Lukas managed to get up and prepare himself for college. New clothes, brushing his hair and teeth… It only took him a moment until he was ready to leave his small apartment. Oh, his face, however… It looked like it belonged to a rotten corpse, who had just come back to life… Somewhat. The trip to college was pretty ordinary, and so was his morning and afternoon, actually. He gave his teachers all the papers that were due, he aced one of his oral presentation despite looking like a dead man… No, really, this day was going well, which was surprising considering he was mostly surviving thanks to coffee and to the fear of collapsing in public. Yeah, no, he didn’t want any attention on him… Which was a funny thing to think about, because this was exactly what he was going to get with his new job! Once his classes were over, Lukas took the bus to his workplace, dread settling on his shoulders, heavier and heavier as the minutes passed. Oh, he didn’t want to get that role… Of course, he could tell his bosses, but there was a small part of him, deep down, that was curious about where this would lead him. Now, obviously, being a stagehand was a pretty classic job, one without risks… But this? While he was terrified of screwing up, especially since people would be looking at him… Yeah, there was something that prevented him from refusing this promotion. And, also, if that could piss MJ off, then it was a good bonus. The studio reception was calm compared to the day before and, for a moment, just a small moment, the student thought his shift was going to be nice. But ooh, no, he couldn’t have nice things- the moment he opened the door leading to the staff areas, he winced as many voices echoed around him. They were coming from all directions, through walls, doors too! It was a large cacophony in there, and people were running around, carrying stuff and bringing props for each shooting. Actions movies, dramas, comedies… Each type had its own part of the studio, but there was this central room linking them all together and, oh, this place was just a battlefield. Moving fast through the agitated crowd, Lukas tried to reach his accredited part of the studio- the children shows shootings. Avoiding props almost falling on his feet accidentally, sneaking between people carrying hot coffee, and bending down to avoid planks being carried around… He bumped into someone just before he got to open the door leading to his area. -“Oh, I- I’m sorry,” he stammered, quickly moving back, so he could apologize properly to the person he had bumped into. However, his eyes widened when he recognized the figure in front of him. Mike! The good twin. For a second, the latter’s face had alarmed him, as he thought he had bumped into MJ instead… But thankfully, while having the same face, the two brothers had very different hairstyles and fashion choices. The student let out a sigh- phew, he wasn’t sure he would have been ready for MJ’s bullshit right at the beginning of his shift. -“Oh, hey!” Mike seemed almost as surprised as he was, though his expression quickly changed to a warm, welcoming one: “Good to see you again- oh, wait, let’s, uh… Get inside,” he then mumbled, opening the door quickly so they both could leave the absolute war zone they were in. Lukas didn’t lose any time and followed the other like a shadow would, only getting the opportunity to sigh in relief as they found themselves in a much quieter place. Kinda ironic that the children shows part of the

studio was calmer than the staff hall... -“Hey,” he finally replied, now that the “battlefield” was behind them: “It’s good to see you too,” he answered trustfully, with a smile. He hadn’t seen the other since MJ’s outburst the day before, and getting the chance to meet him again was a good way of making Lukas’ day a little better and… Less chaotic. -“How are you?” he then asked, deciding to take a moment for a conversation with his only friend in the studio so far. Plus, he was… Worried. With what had happened the day before, and how MJ had thrown Mike’s puppet on the floor like it was nothing, he wanted to make sure everything was okay. -“Oh, I’m… Doing fine,” the other looked away with an awkward smile, which was an obvious sign that things had definitely happened yesterday. With how furious the actor had been when leaving the shooting, Lukas could very well imagine the latter taking his frustration on his brother. What an asshole. But, it was family business, and he couldn’t say anything about it, as a stranger. -“What about you?” Mike added quickly, visibly determined on changing the topic: “I heard you got the role, yesterday. Congrats!” The praise took the student by surprise, and he felt his cheeks reddening from the embarrassment. Oh, man, this was new, yeah… He wasn’t used to that kind of thing. His stance tensed up, and a sheepish smile took place on his lips. -“Oh, uh… Thanks,” he blurted out, and it was his turn to look away: “It’s… Really weird, I guess I’m just… Feeling a bit shocked, you know?” he turned his head back to his new friend and a nervous giggle escaped him. He was fidgeting, not really knowing how to respond to that. -“Ah, yeah, it’s your first time,” Mike nodded, remembering that Lukas had first been hired as a stagehand, not as an actor: “Don’t worry, children shows are the perfect way to start as a beginner. You know, with the public being less critical and all… I’m sure you’ll get used to it in no time.” The puppet maker was kind, trying to reassure Lukas and ease his anxiety. Too bad that his stage fight was skyrocketing since the moment he had stepped in the building again… Another nervous giggle left his lips, and he started to rub his arm, not knowing what to do with his hands. -“I suppose so…” he muttered, still smiling, though it looked less genuine: “It’s just that… I mean… Why me? I’m just a guy who wanted a part-time job. I’m not an actor, I don’t have any experience…” -“Well, from what I’ve heard, you were pretty good yesterday- oh, speaking about that…” Mike’s face darkened, as if he had just remember to mention something unpleasant: “I think you should… Avoid MJ, as much as you can, from now on. My brother, he’s… He didn’t take it well, I’m not gonna lie, and… I mean, you saw how he is with people, he’s not the best at being with others. Now, with what happened yesterday, I don’t think he’ll make your life any easier.” The student grimaced as he listened to his friend. Yeah… Yeah, he had seen that coming. With how livid MJ had been when leaving the set, it wasn’t surprising that the latter was going to make his shifts hell. God, he really hoped he would manage to avoid that jerk… -“Yeah, I… Kinda expected that,” he admitted, tilting his head to the side with a wince: “But, uh… Since he’s not part of the team anymore, I shouldn’t run too much into him… Right?” -“I wish I’d say yes, but…” Mike answered, his face showing conflict: “He has some other roles in the studio, and he might come see me now and then, so… Yeah. Be careful and do your best to avoid him. He’s not… The best person to be around when he’s like this.” “Oh, you mean all the time, then?” Lukas thought to himself, but kept his mouth shut. Not the best thing to say out loud, especially when it came to said person’s twin. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder why Mike was making so many efforts for someone that clearly didn’t deserve them… But, then again, he was a stranger, it wasn’t his place to say anything. -“Will do,” he assured his friend, before looking at his watch and- oh, shit, he was going to

be late. Apparently, it must have been visible from his expression, because the puppet maker let out a soft giggle: -“Oh, yeah, it’s time,” he looked up, as if he were trying to remember something: “Last time I saw the Conductor and DJ Grooves, they were in the conference room with some investors. You should go practice in the meantime… My workshop is open, if you want,” he offered with a shrug: “It’s a small room, but I’m normally the only one there, so if you wanna have some quiet, alone time to rehearse, well… I need to help the stagehands for some set repairs, so I won’t bother you.” The offer was a really nice attention, another one that did help to make Lukas’ day a little better. Considering his promotion, he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to help the other stagehands while waiting for his bosses, but… Well, practicing really wouldn’t hurt, especially considering how short his night had been. -“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” he gave Mike a warm smile, before pointing to a door on the other side of the room: “It’s this one, right?” he asked for confirmation. -“Yep, that’s the one! Just, uh… Please don’t touch anything, most of the puppets and costumes aren’t done, so they’re quite fragile.” Lukas assured him he wouldn’t, and even then, he didn’t have any reason to. At least, contrary to his friend’s twin, he knew how to respect someone’s work… And with that, the two waved to one another, before heading to opposite directions. The student walked to the door with a quick pace, wanting to get as much time as possible to practice. When he opened it, he was surprised to see that, yeah, the room was pretty small indeed, even smaller than what he had imagined. The place was full of puppets hanging from the ceiling, and the walls were covered in eccentric and colorful clothes. It was almost eye straining! Two out of the four corners of the rooms were used to stock supplies and different types of fabric, making the room even smaller than it originally was. Then, hidden in the third corner was a desk with a sewing machine on top of it. It looked like an old but durable one, the kind that would last years even if it was out-of-date. Other than that, the desk was full of smaller supplies, like needles, sewing threads, pens, pieces of paper, templates… It was like this room had no free space other than the center of it. Well, Lukas supposed this is where he would rehearse, then. Not like there were many other option… The young man closed the door behind him and made a few steps, his eyes looking all around him. He didn’t think it was possible to fit so many things in a single room, but, hey, he was wrong! He then shook his head- it was time to work. After clearing his throat, the student opened his bag and took the script out, flipping the pages up to the parts he had the most trouble remembering. Oh, jeez, he really was doing this, wasn’t he? This was so weird… But whatever paid his bills and his studies, he guessed. And so… He got to work. It was a lot easier to practice when there was no one around. No one to judge him, no one to mock him when he fucked up… Yeah, it made it all easier. Sure, he didn’t have any experience in it, but at least he had to admit it was pretty fun. Nonetheless, he still had no idea why the two directors chose him over an experienced actor like MJ… Like, of course he had noticed the latter was a huge asshole, but other than that, his acting skills were obvious. Maybe he was being used to give MJ a lesson…? This seemed like the most probable explanation. After all, MJ’s presence in the casting was supposed to bring attention to the show… And now, one of the most important roles had been given to a nobody instead. It didn’t seem like a good idea, marketing-wise. Law was his specialty, but that didn’t mean he was stupid when it came to other things. Lukas couldn’t believe he had been chosen for his “talents”, because he had none on that field. After a moment, he paused his practice, shutting his eyes and letting out an exaggerated sigh. Shit, this was distracting him. He couldn’t focus

on his lines. His acting skills, if he had any, were affected by it. It was like something was entering his mind from one side only to disappear through another. Memorizing the words was harder than he had thought it would be the day before, and he couldn’t help but grunt in frustration. Fuck, he knew he was able to remember those lines, he had learned much more complex texts before! This script was simple, so the young man put the blame on his short night of sleep. Furthermore, it was hard to memorize something only by starting the day before… He was about to start again when he heard the door opening behind him, cutting him short. The student turned to the direction of the noise, expecting to see Mike’s face and… Well, in a way, he kinda did. Except it wasn’t Mike. It was MJ, the evil twin. “Oh, fuck me,” he thought, paling up. For fuck’s sake, right after Mike told him to avoid his brother! Was it a joke or something?! Before he even got the chance to speak, MJ’s expression changed from a neutral one to one of utter disgust. Yeah, clearly, the other had expected to see his twin, but… Nope, Lukas had been the one in the room. “Lesson learned, never going back in that workshop alone,” the student told himself, though it was way too late to do anything about it. -“Oh. It’s you,” the actor spat, this time not trying to keep his nice mask on like he had been when they had met the day before: “The fuck are you doing here?” The celebrity’s eyes were glaring at him, all while examining him from top to bottom. It was… Very unpleasant, to be stared at this way. And being talked to like that? Yeah, no, Lukas was perhaps a shy person, but he didn’t want to let anyone walk all over him, especially not an asshole like MJ. Usually, he tended to flee conflict, but today was different. He was way too tired to deal with this shit. -“Yes , hello to you too,” he muttered as an answer, quickly putting his attention back to the script: “Your brother’s not here, but he told me I could use the room in the meantime.” Apparently, his tone didn’t please the actor, whose eyes narrowed in response: -“No kidding, I can see my brother’s not here, dumbass,” he shrugged and rolled his eyes: “I’m not blind.” Oooh, the insult didn’t fall on deaf ears, and it really rubbed Lukas the wrong way. He turned to the celebrity again, this time returning the latter’s glare: -“Well, good for you, I guess,” the student spoke louder than his previous mutter. His annoyance was much more visible, though he still remained polite: “If you’re looking for Mike, he’s with the stagehands.” -“Didn’t ask,” the actor retorted harshly. The other’s eyes then fell on the script, and his expression darkened. Well, shit, this couldn’t be good- and, just like Lukas had predicted, it wasn’t. MJ’s look of hatred was soon replaced by a mocking yet salty expression, one that the student really didn’t like. -“Aw, am I interrupting something?” the celebrity taunted him, leaning against the door frame as a smirk took place on his lips. -“Actually, yes. You are,” Lukas’ patience was running out. God, he wanted to punch that guy so bad… Well, not like he would ever do that, he wasn’t that kind of person. Still, the urge was there. In response to his honest words, the actor scoffed loudly, rolling his eyes again. God, that fucking asshole… -“What, don’t tell me you honestly think you have what it takes!” MJ’s tone had changed from a mocking one to a harsher, meaner one: “You have no idea how to play a role- lemme guess, you never had any theater courses before, hm?” At Lukas’ silence, the celebrity snickered bitterly: -“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re just a nobody, a guy who happened to be there at the right time. But you, an actor? Don’t make me laugh. You don’t know shit about acting.” Okay, now that was enough. Politeness was nice and all, but with this guy? No, nu-huh, nope, not happening. In an instant, Lukas’ attempts at remaining civil were thrown away through a window. No one could talk to him like that, and not even his anxiety was

going to silence him. -“Oh, I don’t know shit about acting, that’s right,” he talked back, his tone much more aggressive: “But at least I know how to be a decent person.” -“Excuse me?” MJ’s face showed a mix of bewilderment and fury, probably because no one ever confronted him like this in the past: “I didn’t steal someone else’s job!” -“Hah, that’s rich!” the student scoffed, raising his arms with a scandalized expression: “You lost your job! I didn’t do anything!” his voice echoed in the room as his anger intensified: “If you weren’t such an asshole, maybe you’d have kept your place in the-” However, the student didn’t even get the time to finish his sentence. The celebrity had dashed towards him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, bringing their face close as an intimidating gesture: -“Watch your fucking mouth,” was the warning he got from the other, whose eyes were fixed on his: “There are so many things I could do to make your life a living Hell. I have a lot of strings I can pull, and if I were you, I wouldn’t risk that,” the actor’s voice had got lower, like a murmur, a clear threat directed to him. But Lukas was just getting so fucking tired of it. Enough was enough. He grabbed the celebrity’s hand and pulled it away, forcing the latter to let go of him. -“So, let me get this straight: you want to destroy me because I pointed out how much of a jerk you were to everyone? And you still think you’re the decent person out of us two? You might want to rethink that, buddy.” The response he got was yet another glare, though this time there was no spiky answer. “Of course I’m right, asshole, can’t say anything back, now, can you?” he thought to himself, pride swelling inside him. Man, this was perhaps the first argument he ever won… Holy shit, yeah, it was- and he didn’t even stutter! Maybe he needed to be tired more often- yeah, no, that wasn’t a good idea. Air was forced out of his lungs as he was pushed away, though despite the fear of being punched, it never came. The look of pure hatred he was getting from MJ was almost burning him and, for a moment, he really thought he would get attacked- being someone who had never fought anyone, he wasn’t really confident about his abilities to fight back. But all MJ did was to step back to the door, a furious expression written all over his face: -“You wanna play that game with me?” he spat: “Fine. But mark my words, stagehand, I will win.” And not even giving Lukas the time to retort anything, the actor stormed off the room and slammed the door behind him. It screamed “ I am mad, and I want everyone to know that”. Lukas, however, did not give a single fuck about it. Perhaps it was the tiredness speaking (and it was), but if the other wanted to fight, then Lukas would be ready. Well, he probably wouldn’t in hindsight, once his mind cleared up… But at the moment, the young man’s anger was making him blind to many aspects. One of them being that MJ was a famous person who was indeed capable of destroying him, and making him fail his studies with just the right calls. But this wasn’t something Lukas would realize before calming down. And only then, he would ask himself “why the hell couldn’t I keep my mouth shut like usual?!” Until that moment… The student kept rehearsing, though his anger prevented him from actually anything. Today was going to be a long day…

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Hopefully Lukas won't have too much trouble with this jerk of an actor :)c (who I love with all my heart)

=> Chapter 7

#a hat in time fanfiction #a hat in time #ahit #a hat in time the snatcher #a hat in time snatcher #ahit snatcher #ahit the snatcher #ahit mj #ahit fanfiction #ahit au #puppet au #the part-time puppeteer #mike #mj #erekio #erekiosuncreativeideas #fanfiction #tptp

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averykedavra · 4 years

Text

Set All My Regrets on Fire

Anyone up for some post-POF Roceit angst? I’m way late to the party, but hey, let’s do this. This is for a WTIYS by @hitmewiththatfanart33, who’s a great writer and seems like a really nice person. Check ‘em out if you haven’t already! Congrats on 1k, you deserve it!

This is based around Out on the Town by Fun, a banging song, and I played it on loop while writing this! You can find this fic on Ao3 here.

Words: 10,756 (yeah I can’t write oneshots what of it)

Pairings: platonic Roceit

Warnings: self-hatred, bad self-care, food mentions, extra arms, negative self-talk, sleep deprivation, a bit of an identity crisis, fire, anxiety, panic attacks, crying, some symptoms of depression and/or disassociation, very brief suicidal ideation (only in reference to ducking out), sympathetic everyone including Remus (even though there are some less-than-charitable mentions, it’s because Roman and Janus are in a bad place).

Summary: Roman wants to apologize. Janus wants to explain. It’s a shame neither of them can work up the courage to say hello.

---

I knew there would come a day when all was said and done.

Roman is standing in front of Janus’ door.

It’s a nice door, rather simplistic, with a golden doorknob and a little knocker in the center and a peephole set right below it. Roman’s carefully avoiding the peephole, but if Janus tried hard enough, he could probably see Roman standing in the hallway like he’s waiting for a coffee.

Maybe he wouldn’t recognize Roman, though. Roman isn’t wearing his usual costume. He needed something soft and comfortable, so he stole Virgil’s old hoodie. It’s a darker color scheme than he’s used to, but not too bad, and it settles around his shoulders and makes him feel protected. He’d worry about being teased by Virgil, but Virgil hasn’t come out of his room for days.

Roman pulls it tighter around him. If he closes his eyes, it’s almost like he’s getting a hug, or he’s weighed down by blankets during a sleepover, Disney playing in the background as he does Patton’s nails.

That hasn’t happened for weeks. Janus has watched movies with Patton and nobody else came. Roman lurked in the doorway before turning away, retreating to his empty room and a too-dark hoodie.

A little voice in his head says, you should get used to the dark.

Roman ignores it. He’s good at that, ignoring anything he doesn’t like. Logan, for instance. Or the flaws in his own ideas. Or Janus’ biting words.

Well, that last one has evaded him. They flit around his head like fiery butterflies, searing away his thoughts, whispering when he tried to sleep.

That’s why he’s here.

Standing in front of Janus’ door, one hand raised, trying to work up the courage to knock.

He is courage. He’s a Gryffindor, bold and brave and passionate. So why can’t he make his hand fall? The whole world has frozen around him, waiting in expectation, eyes crawling up his spine. He’s always loved the stage. He always bears the burden of being the center of the attention. Now he feels exposed, wrong, a glossy photo cut from a magazine and pasted into this scene. He scuffs his feet on the floor and hopes no one walks by at this moment and sees how ridiculously pathetic Roman is being. There’s a slim chance of that. Virgil’s in his room, Logan’s in his room, Patton’s in the kitchen baking mounds of cookies and smiling a brittle smile at anyone who enters. Maybe Remus will show up and knock Roman out again. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad--it would be an excuse not to talk to Janus.

He tries to picture Janus’ reaction. Maybe Janus will ignore his knock. Maybe Janus will attack him, berate him, tell him he’s not welcome here. He hasn’t been hostile towards Roman whenever they cross paths, but he hasn’t been kind, either. Mostly he’s just ignored Roman. Roman’s done his best to return the favor, skipping family dinners and staying in his room. At first Patton tried to get him out, but Patton must have given up, because the knocks stopped coming.

Worse, Janus might pity him. He certainly looks a mess, standing in the hallway in his best friend’s hoodie, hair greasy and falling over his face. Janus might forgive him more easily if Roman looked pathetic. However, the very idea stings. He doesn’t want reluctant or guilty forgiveness--he wants the real thing. And isn’t that so selfish of him?

He could fix everything, of course. He could snap his fingers and get rid of the hoodie, sweep his hair back from his face, rub away the bags under his eyes from several sleepless nights, rub the wrinkles from his black shirt. But that wouldn’t erase the fact that he’s forgotten how to smile.

It’s easy. It should be easy. He’s practiced it in the mirror a thousand times. Crinkle the eyes, lift the corners of the mouth, scrunch the nose, pull the smile tight until it tickles his cheeks. He’s an actor. He should be able to look like he’s happy to be here, look like he’s happy at all, yet he can’t find the right combination. He tries to smile and it feels too stretched, too forced, too disjointed. He lets it fall because he doesn’t think he could bear to let it exist a moment more.

Janus isn’t the only liar here, is he?

It’s just one smile, he tells himself, trying again. This time he barely manages to lift the corners of his mouth before he lets his face collapse.

And he’s supposed to be an actor. Pathetic.

Roman rubs his face and clutches the jacket for warmth. He should give it back to Virgil. Virgil doesn’t wear it anymore, but he tends to panic whenever something isn’t in its place. Yeah, he’ll go give it to Virgil, leave it in a bundle by the door or just sneak it back into the closet. He can conjure his own jacket. Even though it won’t feel the same, won’t have the same comforting weight, like Virgil has his back.

He’s really a mess right now. His lips are cracked and he won’t stop curling into himself like he wants to disappear.

Maybe he does, just a bit.

Roman sighs and turns away from Janus’ door.

He’ll come back when he looks the part.

---

Everything I was is everything but gone.

Janus is standing in front of Roman’s door.

If he’s being honest--which is a hilarious concept--it’s a little too gaudy for his tastes. He’s all about tasteful theatrics and dramatic decor, but this is so over-the-top it’s almost sad. Still, he supposes he can appreciate the effort put into it. Years of effort, in fact. It’s practically a mural of different designs. Roman clearly kept painting over sections when he had a new idea, never bothering to erase the whole thing. There’s also an excessive amount of glitter and enough rainbows to make a leprechaun faint in delight. A large sign reads Prince Roman, Creativity in red sparkling cursive.

It looks like a five-year-old made it, which is the sort of charitable assumption Janus feels he should keep to himself, based on Patton’s advice. It might “hurt Roman’s feelings.” And if he only manages to antagonize Roman, then this entire trip was a waste.

He doesn’t want to be here, of course. He would much rather be reading, or looking after his snakes, or perhaps planning the downfall of society at large. Or...maybe with Patton, baking cookies or watching movies or exchanging puns as they pass.

Hanging out with Patton. As if they’re friends. Despicable. Friendship is a boogeyman, affection is a social construct, and Janus has no use for it.

He told this to Patton, who laughed and said “You’re so silly! Can you grab my oven mitts?” And Janus did, because lulling Patton into a false sense of security meant his master plan could go undetected. He’s not quite sure what his master plan is, yet, but he’s sure he has one. He’s certainly not spending time with Patton for the fun of it.

Definitely not.

Lying to himself is harder than lying to other people, which is annoying. He supposes that deceiving himself would compromise his ability to deceive others. He needs to know the truth, deep within him, so he can obscure it and twist it and use it as he sees fit.

It’s the others who enjoy lying to themselves.

He should be proud of that, that despite their self-proclaimed hatred for Deceit, they lie to each other and themselves every day. He’s not. It stings how much they lie, it eats into his skin and burns. Logan says everyone lies. Well, that’s a paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it. Patton never liked to hear that. Patton still doesn’t, but that’s not an issue anymore, since Logan hasn’t been there to say anything.

It’s Janus’ fault, of course, and it was a necessary sacrifice to get Thomas to listen. He doesn’t mind if Logan hates him. Logan is Logic--he’ll come around He’s always been the smartest of the sides.

Roman, however, keeps grudges.

So Janus is here to ask for forgiveness. Or at least to explain what he meant, why he did what he did. Then Roman can start rejoining the group at dinner, Thomas’ creative pursuits will regain their spark, and Thomas will be alright.

That’s all Janus needs. Janus is self-preservation. He’s only here, standing awkwardly in front of Roman’s door, because Thomas is suffering and his function is to help Thomas.

If Roman hates him, that’s perfectly fine. He just needs Roman to hate him and keep doing his job.

Janus wishes so deeply that he was better at lying to himself.

He stands there, hand raised, poised to knock, for a frankly embarrassing length of time. He’s not sure what’s stopping him. His chest itches and his eyes burn slightly as if the golden glitter of Roman’s door is blinding him.

“Janus?” he hears. “Do you wanna watch Winnie the Pooh?”

“Of course, Patton.” Janus glances at Roman’s door and gladly twirls his cloak and walks away.

He’ll come back when Patton doesn’t need him.

---

All my big mistakes are bouncing off your wall.

Roman is standing in front of Janus’ door.

He shouldn’t be here. He knows that. He’s got two deadlines in the next week, one after that, and he missed a brainstorming session with Logan and Logan’s been badgering him about it. Besides, he didn’t hit the word count for the story he’s writing, and he has to squeeze in some more writing tonight. Long story short, he has much more important things to do than loiter in front of Janus’ door and watch it like it’ll knock for him.

Yet he’s here. Self-control has never been his strong point.

Besides, he’s almost glad of the change of scenery. His room is a magical place filled with ideas and inspiration and lights that dance around the ceiling like fairies or birds. It’s also a mess, the bedsheets half pulled off the bed, pillows strewn about the floor, candles burned low, Spotify playing a million Disney medleys that blend together in his ears, his desk covered in papers with slowly deteriorating handwriting and unfinished stories and reminders of things he knows he’ll never get around to.

This hallway is blank and empty with a gray carpet and a slightly different shade of gray for the walls. But it isn’t filled with his own scratchy words, taunting him for his failure, the grandfather clock skipping around as time seems to scrunch up and speed past like it’s falling in dollops down his windows.

When’s the last time he even left his room? He can’t remember.

He really should be working.

He lets his hand fall to his side, picks it up, and hovers over the knocker.

Roman can’t bring himself to knock.

His eyes itch. He’s tired. He should be sleeping, but he doesn’t feel like it. He knows he can’t. Not until he’s wrung out every last idea, scribbled his way to the finish of each story, made something that’s crappy and unrealistic and vapid but something. He’ll settle for a terrible idea that Logan will tear into the next day, as long as it’s an idea, something coherent from the snarled mess that’s inside his head.

He’ll feel better if he eats or sleeps or just takes a break. The voice that tells him that sounds like Logan and Patton. But he doesn’t have time. There’s never enough time. His mind runs ahead of his mouth runs ahead of his hands runs ahead of the clock that ticks steadily in his room, reminding him that time is running out, that his days are numbered and soon he’ll shatter and fail and crumple to the ground and still, it will never be enough.

He needs to go work.

Why won’t his legs move?

Why does he insist on standing here, one arm raised, frozen in limbo?

He needs to work or they’ll all hate him.

Usually, that gets him moving. Today it barely stings. Of course they’ll all hate him. They’ll hate him no matter whether his ideas are complete or not. The only person he creates for is Thomas, and Thomas doesn’t care.

Sometimes deadlines keep him going. Sometimes passion keeps him going. Sometimes validation keeps him going. He has a lot of the first one and none of the last two. His mind is empty at the bottom and leaking from the side. His joints and limbs are mismatched like a doll’s, and he feels out of control of all of them, like he’s just a character in someone else’s story.

He really needs to go work.

Janus can wait.

Janus probably isn’t even awake--it’s sometime past midnight. Or maybe it isn’t midnight yet. Roman can’t quite remember and doesn’t really care about the difference. He’s wearing bunny slippers and has several ink stains on his fingers and probably looks as exhausted as he feels. He shouldn’t be here. He’d just been thinking too much in his room, and he figured if he could finally see Janus, his thoughts would finally shut up and let him work.

Pathetic, he tells himself, and tries to make that be enough to turn away. It should be enough. Fear and panic have always kept him going before. The one thing that gets in the way of any great adventure isn’t fear--fear is what pushes him to rehearse, keeps his mouth shut, helps him scramble to reach a deadline. What gets in his way is apathy. The sick, cotton-filled nights where he’d much rather close his eyes and sink into the hole in his chest than write another word.

He’ll get through it. He always has.

He doesn’t have another choice.

Roman wrenches himself back into his body and walks down the hallway, each step hesitant and disjointed, his mind buzzing and still at the same time.

He’ll come back when he isn’t so busy.

---

The bottles never break, the sorrow never comes.

Janus is standing in front of Roman’s door.

It’s late. He’s already had dinner and really should be sleeping, since Logan always says to sleep at ten o’clock and Janus can’t argue with self-care. However, he knows that Roman is up. There’s a small light under the door, flickering, and he knows it’s a candle. At first he was scared it was a fire, but that was just instinctive after dealing with the other Creativity for so long. The burning is controlled and flickers on and off. Occasionally shadows shift and Janus steps back instinctively.

Roman does not open the door.

Good, Janus thinks, although he has to admit he’s disappointed at the same time. Perhaps it would be easier if Roman opened the door. Roman would have questions, surely, but it would rid Janus of the obligation to knock.

He is far too tired to knock. He’s practically leaning on the wall. He should go to bed.

He doesn’t want to go to bed. Not yet.

It’s been a long day. Thomas is struggling with the most recent video idea. Remus has become even more manic and disruptive than usual. Patton is sad, Logan is angry, and Virgil is nowhere to be found.

Of course it’s Janus who has to put the pieces back together and calm everyone down. He’s the self-preservation side. He’s the only one somewhat sturdy after that disaster of an episode.

Still, it’s rather tiresome, he has to admit. This is why he doesn’t help people. You do it once, and suddenly everyone has expectations. Suddenly you’re cast in the role of the Good Guy when Janus has always been comfortable on the other side of the battlefield.

But there’s no time for shoulds and shouldn’ts, doubts and worries, the question of whether he deserves this or not--he has a job to do. The world is collapsing, Thomas is struggling, so Janus will tie rope around all the sides’ wrists and puppet them back into position. An unsavory metaphor but an accurate one. He is not their friend, sitting with them until they calm down. He is just playing a part. He’s been called on to steady the ship, and he will do that, because that is his job.

He is not their friend. He only lets them call him that because it gets him what he wants.

That is just how things are, and nothing can change that.

He could leave them behind entirely and go back to how things were. He’s thought about that more than once. He could crawl back into the darkness and lie on a messy couch and watch Good Omens and laugh whenever he hears a white lie. However, things have changed, for better or for worse. Regrets and would-have-beens are other things Janus is not built for, cannot allow. The truth is that the past is the past. He cannot rewrite the story, only play his part to perfection, a hollow face with a useless name and a meaningless place among the sides he barely cares for.

He’s tired. He wants to go to sleep.

But Deceit cannot sleep when he still needs to glue in the cracks.

And he knows Roman should be on his list of Ridiculous Idiots to Help. He knows he should be talking to Roman right now. He knows it’s his job to check in on Roman, who has been more frazzled and angry every time Janus sees him, barely noticing when Patton says hello.

Roman might not want to see him.

And Janus really wants to sleep.

It’s a coward’s move to turn away from the door. But it’s what Janus does, because Janus is self-preservation and cowardly and selfish and that is what he is. It is all he is ever going to be. Pull off his gloves and scrape beneath his scales, and there is nothing there at all, nothing but a name and a title and an ever-shifting voice.

He can imitate any side he likes, help any side he wants, and hurt any side he chooses. Whenever his own desires and emotions get in the way, it only ends in turmoil and trouble and hurt.

He shouldn’t have even shared his name. Not because of Roman’s response, but because now everyone believes he’s their friend, a person in his own right, someone they’re capable of getting to know.

It’s Janus’ greatest lie, and it’s the one he hates the most.

He wants to sleep.

Janus is not in the mood to play pretend with Roman, to bait him into forgiveness, to pacify him with lies. Janus is in the mood to snap back. To bare his teeth and poke at weak spots and say whatever it takes for him to be left alone. He’s bubbling up with emotion and his walls are turning to swords. He can’t talk to Roman like this unless he wants Roman to stab him through the heart.

Janus groans and kicks angrily at the wall. It hurts. He enjoys the sensation of doing something other than sitting still and playing nice.

He’s going to go sleep.

He’ll come back when he’s less tired.

---

So come on, let me in.

Roman is standing at Janus’ door.

He wrote a letter this time. It took him an embarrassing number of drafts to get it, and he’s still not entirely happy with it, and he’s pretty sure he misspelled something in the third paragraph. He’d ask Logan for help, but Logan’s been prickly ever since Janus replaced him--and they were never on the best of terms to begin with. Logan, Roman is pretty sure, would gladly exchange him for another Creativity.

It stings in the way that only the truth does.

His letter is crumpled in his hand. He could simply slip it under the door and disappear. But he feels the urge to explain it, apologize for it, try to say something for himself instead of hiding behind shields of sentences. If only he could figure out what to say.

The letter is simple. It’s an apology and a request to try and work together. Roman ended up going for a short and sweet letter, even though it goes against all his instincts. Being extra like Roman usually is might not be the best idea. Being Roman might not be the best idea. If he wants to convince Janus that he’s not a bad guy, he should act like a little less of a self-centered, impulsive, cruel side with no tact and intelligence.

Wait. Why is this about convincing Janus that he’s not a bad guy? This is about apologizing. All Roman needs to do is apologize. It didn’t matter if Janus thinks he’s the bad twin--Janus has a point, after all.

Roman shakes his head. He shouldn’t be focused on what Janus said. They were just words and he could handle them. He’s the one that needs to apologize. Then Janus could forgive him and things could go back to normal--

Wait.

Was that why he was apologizing? Because it gets him what he wants?

Roman swallows and backs away from the door, letter limp in his hand. No. That can’t be right. He’s guilty. Some days he feels the guilt might tear him apart at the seams, rip through his blood vessels, curl around his heart and strangle his lungs until there’s nothing left but ash.

That’s a very Remus thought.

Roman shakes his head violently but it can’t dislodge the voice in his head. Evil twin.

This doesn’t matter! He doesn’t need to think about this. He can just drop off the letter for Janus and be on his way. He doesn’t need to try and apologize, or ask Janus what he meant by evil, or ask if Janus wants to replace him or if he’s already trying or if everyone’s decided Roman is worthless and needs to be replaced. He’s heard nothing about that, but he’s been in his room. For all he knows, Janus could be ousting him from his spot.

That should make him furious. Why doesn’t it make him furious? Where’s that burning passion that always gets him into trouble?

Is it because Janus is right?

Roman squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t cry. He needs to knock on Janus’ door and hand him the letter. He doesn’t even have to say anything. The letter--the stupid, poorly-written, not-enough-to-take-back-everything letter--can do the talking for him.

He could say he’s sorry. He could say, why did you say what you said? He could say, are you the bad guy? He could say, am I?

He could say a million things. None of them would give him the right answers and none of them would be enough to fix things.

All he has is one stupid letter.

Roman leaves it on the ground by Janus’ door and walks away,

Ten minutes later, he walks back over. The letter is still there. Roman grabs it and rips it into pieces. It spirals around his feet like confetti. He snaps his fingers and the little pieces burst into flames and blacken, crumbling to bits of ash. He kicks the ash into the corners of the hallway and walks away, hands clenched, chin high.

He’ll come back when he thinks of what to say.

---

I will be the sun.

Janus is standing in front of Roman’s door.

He knows Roman has been nearby. Janus’ hallway now smells like smoke. It could be Remus, of course, but Remus wouldn’t light a fire without making a big deal out of it. So Roman lit something on fire in front of his door, whatever that means.

Janus doesn’t know why that makes him feel worried.

He’s here to confront Roman about the fire, nothing else. It should be in and out. “Hello, Roman, might I inquire why you burned something in front of my door? And could you tell me how to get rid of the smell? It would be very kind of you.”

Of course, Janus’ hands have to betray him, and he’s stuck hovering around Roman’s door as if it’s shielded from him. He summons another hand, then another, then all of them. They all curl their fists and rise up to meet the door. None of them fall. None of them make a sound.

Janus almost hisses in frustration. Why is this so hard? What is he so afraid of?

He’s not supposed to be afraid. He’s Deceit. He’s faced down the worst parts of Thomas’ psyche. He’s tamed wild monsters in the Subconscious, gone toe-to-toe with Remus, dealt with Virgil when he was wild and fiery and didn’t know how to stop fighting. He holds the key to every secret Thomas has ever possessed. He doesn’t get scared.

And yet, a simple closed door is enough to bring him down.

Pathetic, he thinks. Then he catches himself. Negative self-talk is unhealthy. Even though it seems to be everywhere these days, his mind falling into old habits and ruts he didn’t know existed, slipping and sliding down a slope until he’s left spiraling and wondering if he’ll ever be able to fix things, if he’ll ever be more than a liar, if being Janus means anything at all or if he’s just fooling himself into believing he could ever have a family--

Janus clenches his fists. Not the time. He needs to talk to Roman.

And say what? Roman, I’m sorry. Roman, don’t hate me. Roman, you’re affecting Thomas. Roman, Patton is worried for you. Roman, I’m worried for you.

Roman, why did you light a fire outside my room?

Roman, why did it take so little work to break you?

He hadn’t even meant to. He always aims to protect Creativity, and well-placed flattery was the best tactic to lure Roman out of Patton’s grasp. He didn’t count on the insecurities beneath the surface that burst into being the moment Roman saw himself as a failure. They were just compliments. It was just a little manipulation. He hadn’t meant to--hadn’t meant to make Roman cry.

Some grand puppet master, hurting the one person he needed on his side.

This is why he can’t be trusted. This is why he isn’t meant up here in the light side. He isn’t good and pure. All he does is destroy things, people, dreams. He should have learned his lesson from Virgil. Instead, he jumped in where he wasn’t wanted and miscalculated the landing, and now Creativity is sulking with the door closed.

Creativity is broken.

Maybe he’s always been--maybe it just took Janus to throw all the fractures into the light.

Janus is good at unearthing secrets. He’s less good at dealing with the messy aftermath. Yet here he is, struggling to knock on a door, running through every word in his head. He is a master of deception, the lord of the lies, a silver-tongued trickster who could slip into skins and play any part he wishes. Yet he runs dry when thinking of what to say to Roman. There is nothing he can say.

Roman is only feet away, but so far beyond Janus’ reach.

Janus leans against the wall, two arms hugging himself, one hand reaching up to grab a fistful of hair, another covering his mouth. His final two still hover over Roman’s door, but Janus might as well have lost control of them entirely, since they refuse to knock.

Maybe that’s a good thing. Roman would surely take well to Janus’ interruption. And Janus doesn’t feel like being mocked for the state he is in--reduced to shudders, holding back tears, as if he has a right to be upset. As if he should be upset. He needs to pull himself together. He’s better than this.

Janus tightens his hand over his mouth. He can barely breathe. Was that what it felt like when he did the same to Logan? To Roman, to Patton, to Virgil? His gloves are soft and rough at the same time. Janus remembers taking one off, holding his hand up, feeling so exposed. He let down all his barriers--and he should have known that would backfire, he was Deceit, he wasn’t meant for truth and openness and friendship. He’d let his guard down and he’d gotten hurt.

Of course, it didn’t hurt him. At all.

Hello, Roman. Sorry about tearing into your insecurities and everything, but could you please apologize for making fun of my name?

Pathetic, Janus thinks again, and this time he doesn’t bother to stop himself. He is pathetic and a mess and about three seconds away from crying in front of Roman’s door.

Janus sighs and turns away, vanishing his extra arms into his cloak, leaving Roman’s door behind him. He supposes he’ll never know about the fire. He supposes it doesn’t really matter at all.

He’ll come back when he thinks of what to say.

---

I will wake you up.

Roman is standing in front of Janus’ door.

He’s angry. Perhaps more furious than he should be, under the circumstances, but he kind of enjoys the way the anger sparks in his chest. It makes him feel more awake and in control than he has for months.

He’s not even sure what he’s angry at. It could be anything. The obvious answer is the fun little exchange he had with Thomas this morning--Thomas wants to bring Remus into more of their discussions. Thomas wants to “explore different directions in his content.” Thomas wants the other twin.

Thomas swears he wants Roman there, too, but Roman sees what this is really about. This is the beginning. This is how it starts--one word, one offer to join in movie nights, and soon Remus will be taking his place. Roman will be ousted from his seat at the table and be thrown into the darker side of Thomas’ mind. Forgotten, ignored, hated.

He’s known this was coming. He knows he deserves it.

But to actually hear it from Thomas himself--it stings. It aches and claws at him until he turns to anger, because anger is safe and anger allows him to find someone else to blame. Or maybe he didn’t choose anger. Maybe anger just came of its own accord, because emotions don’t always make sense, and Logan does always call Roman irrational.

He’s standing in front of Janus’ door and has the urge to pummel it to the ground.

Stupid Janus. Sneaky snake. Slimy boy. A two-faced trickster with a silver tongue and silly gloves. Why had Roman even considered apologizing to him? Janus doesn’t deserve it. He hasn’t--he hasn’t even tried to talk to Roman after everything. He’s just let Roman sit in his misery forever.

Maybe Roman doesn’t deserve an apology, but he’d sure as hell like one.

Maybe he’ll apologize too. Or maybe not. Maybe he’ll leave Janus hanging, unsure of their position, struggling to get a grasp on whether Roman is serious or lying or hates Janus or hates himself or just wants some peace and quiet. Maybe he’ll make Janus confused, like Roman is every single day, and he can finally see Janus’ face when his insufferable righteous in-control expression falls away.

He’ll see the Janus behind the mask.

And maybe everything will make sense then. Maybe nothing will. Maybe Roman’s just grasping at straws, clawing at the sides of the hole he’s falling into, desperately reaching for anything that will keep him from

He’s wearing his prince costume. It feels wrong and itchy around his shoulders. Too square, too gaudy, too ridiculously heroic. He got black ink stained on the shirt yesterday and panicked because he thought the Mindscape was turning him evil already. He should have known. Evil is a choice, in the end, and soon Roman will have to make that choice. Let himself fall, for the good of everyone, and learn what it’s like on the dark side.

Broadway, here he comes.

Still. Not yet. Roman has always been irritatingly persistent. And he needs to talk to Janus. Yell at Janus. Shake Janus until he gets answers to every question in his head. He doesn’t know what he’ll ask, but hopefully Janus will know, because Janus knows Roman better than Roman knows himself.

Roman raises his hand to knock on the door.

He taps quietly, once, twice.

The door creaks open.

Roman steps forward and looks into the room. It’s empty and still. There’s a surprising amount of dust on every surface. Books line the walls, almost more books than Logan’s room, and there’s a record player by an armchair, and some small lamps that glow the same shade as Janus’ eyes. His bed is old and mahogany and the sheets are rumpled.

Janus must be out, then. Perhaps talking with Remus or arguing with Virgil or debating with Logan or baking with Patton. Maybe he’s talking to Thomas, thinking through how they’ll break the news to Roman that he’s useless, that they’ve decided to lock him in his room and shove him into the back of the mind where he can’t mess up anything else.

The thought is burning and furious and climbs up Roman’s throat. His hand goes to his sword. He looks around at the room, dim and serene.

He could destroy it, if he wanted. He could tear it to pieces. He could burn the books on the walls, slice through the carpet on the floor, throw the record player against the wall and watch it break in two. He could open up the floorboards and read through the books and check under the bed and try to find something that tells him more about Janus, that’s something real and tangible beneath a million layers of deception.

He could. He wants to. He wants to so badly, and this is why he never gives himself what he wants, because desire is a sickening sensation that scares him.

He could destroy everything.

He is Creativity--he is meant to create. But if his title means nothing, what’s wrong with using the other side of the coin?

He could burn this place to the ground.

Everything is so still and perfect. It’s all waiting for Janus. Roman can almost picture him curled up in that recliner, reading a book, humming along to a song on the record player. His hair falling over his face, his capelet messed up, his eyes half-closed.

It’s a beautiful room. Elegant and refined. He should have expected nothing less.

It seems wrong for Roman to destroy it.

Right and wrong have gotten him in trouble before. He’s no authority on the subject. He is wrong. All he does is wrong. That’s what Patton thinks, he’s sure of it, and that’s what Thomas thinks. That’s what Janus thinks. Deep down, it’s what Roman thinks, too.

He is not going to add one more mistake to his tally. He is already falling--there’s no need to tug anyone down with him.

Roman steps out and closes the door.

He’ll come back when Janus is there.

---

I am who I was.

Janus is standing in front of Roman’s door.

He vowed to only come back when he thought of what to say. However, he’s already breaking that promise. He’s in this accursed hallway again, lurking in the shadows like the villain he is, eyeing the door and wondering if it’ll spring open of its own accord.

He shouldn’t be here, of course, but his mind won’t leave him alone.

He wishes Roman would just talk to him and make things simple. But Roman appears to have no interest in communication. Roman has been avoiding him, cutting him off, slipping out of every room Janus enters. It would be irritating--it is irritating--but Janus is more concerned than irritated.

That, in itself, is irritating. He shouldn’t be so worried about Roman. He should be furious with the side, not appearing at his door once again, preparing to apologize when he’s received nothing of the sort in return.

He should just leave Roman alone.

But he’s worried.

Maybe he should just shelve the apologies for now. Maybe he should simply knock on Roman’s door and see if he’s okay.

That sounds like a better plan than stammering through apologies he’s not sure if he means, throwing away every mote of dignity he has left, shattering every wall he’d work so hard to build.

Janus raises his hand to knock on the door.

The door bursts open.

Janus stumbles backwards, tripping over his feet and barely managing to steady himself, trying to look like he was just walking past and not standing in front of Roman’s door like a stalker.

It must not work, because Roman scowls deeply and asks “What are you doing?”

“I...” Janus pulls his capelet tighter around him and tries not to panic. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Make it quick,” Roman says. His eyes are red and there’s a smear of ink down his cheek. Janus has the urge to reach out and wipe it off.

“I was worried,” Janus finally says. “I am worried.”

“About what?” Roman asks.

“You.”

That gets Janus an even darker glare.

“Everything’s under control,” Roman spits out. “No thanks to you.”

“Are you sure?” Janus finds himself asking. “You’ve been--”

“I’ve been what?” Roman’s lip curls. “I’m doing fine. I’m doing my job. I have so many ideas, you wouldn’t believe. If there’s a problem with what I create, it’s because you won’t leave me alone.”

“That’s not what I--” Janus swallows. “I’m not concerned with your output.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’ve already decided it’s not worth anything.” Roman looks Janus up and down. “Still wearing that? Thought you’d get a wardrobe change now that you’re officially one of the good guys.”

“I like this,” Janus says weakly.

“Don’t see why you do. It looks like a curtain swallowed you whole.”

Bile rises up in Janus’ throat. “And you certainly look like the pinnacle of fashion,” he snaps back before he can stop himself. “You’re giving Virgil a run for his money with those eye bags. I thought princes were supposed to be poised.”

He seems to have hit a nerve, because Roman’s eyes flame. There’s no other word for it. They snap and crackle like a bonfire.

“What are you still doing here?” Roman grits out. “I’m busy.”

“Like I said, I’m worried.” Janus holds up his hands. “But clearly, I shouldn’t bother.”

“No, you shouldn’t!” It’s almost a scream. “I don’t need you here! I’m doing fine!”

“You do know who you’re trying to lie to, right?”

“Yes, I do.” Roman sneers. “Deceit. I know exactly what you are. And you will never take my place, understand me? I am never going to be a villain. I know you want to oust me, but you’re powerless. You’re a two-faced trickster with a million lies who doesn’t care about anything, and I’m Thomas’ Creativity. You go up against me, and I will win every time.”

“Is that a threat?” Janus asks, his mind whirling.

“It’s going to be if you don’t leave.”

“Look, listen--” Janus spreads his hands. “I’m just trying to help, no one is replacing anyone, if you’d just listen to me for once in your life--”

“I listened to you and that’s why I’m here.” Roman waves a hand. “I’m done hearing what you have to say. Leave me alone.”

“But--”

“Leave!”

Roman slams his door loud enough to rattle the walls.

Janus is left standing there, part of him knowing that he probably caught Roman at a bad time, but his chest squeezing despite of that. He shakes his head and tries to think on the bright side. He’s gotten his answer. Roman wants nothing to do with him. Not a surprise, and not something Janus can blame Roman for. So everything was alright. He now has an excuse to go about his day and stop worrying about Roman all the time.

He sighs and turns away from the door, tears rising to his eyes unbidden. He swipes them away. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. He’s heard worse.

Janus leaves, planning to curl in the corner of his room and listen to his favorite playlist and try to scrub Roman’s fiery eyes from his mind.

He’ll come back if it’s desperate.

---

Just open up your heart.

Roman is standing in front of Janus’ door.

Well, no, he isn’t. He’s crumpled in a ball at the foot of it, back pressed against the wood, arms around his knees and his head tucked between them. He figures he probably started out standing, but he can’t remember. He’s been here for a while. It’s late--maybe past midnight, maybe not. He doesn’t really care. Everything’s dark. He could conjure a light, but that would take energy he doesn’t have, energy that’s going towards trying to stop his breathing from stumbling over itself and stopping.

In and out. In and out. What are the numbers Virgil always uses? Four, five, eight? No, four, five, six. Does it even start with four? He should remember this. Why is he so stupid?

In. Out. In. Out. His breathing is shallow and too deep at the same time. It rasps at the edge of his lungs. He squeezes tighter at his thighs. His throat is choking up. At this rate, he’ll be crying or fainting soon enough. He hopes it’s the second one. He wouldn’t mind just going blank for awhile. Everything’s so loud in his head.

He’s crying now. Great. Never gets what he wants, does he?

He tries to rub away the tears. They keep coming. They drip over his hands and burn like fire. They trickle down his skin and he tries to scratch at them to make them go away. All that happens is irritated red skin.

Something’s itching and tugging inside him. He wants to grab it out of his chest and unspool it until he feels less like he’s trapped in someone else’s skin, thin and papery and about to shatter under his fingers.

In. Out. In. Out.

Breathing is so simple. Why can’t he do it? Why won’t it work? Why does he have to mess everything up like he always does?

He should at least move. He should sink out. He should get away from Janus’ door. What if Janus sees him like this?

Then again, that’s all he wants, isn’t it?

He wants Janus to see him. He wants to look Janus in the face. And he wants to beg for forgiveness.

He wants to--he wants to say sorry.

Say everything.

He wants to tell Janus his name isn’t stupid--it’s beautiful and unique and drips with the mythological implications that Roman loves. God of doorways. Beginnings and endings. Two-faced. There’s room enough for both evil and good in Janus. There can be both friend and foe. He may have ended things for Roman, but he’s also found the beginning of something new, and as a fellow creator Roman can respect the change Janus has wrought.

Janus is wondrous and hilarious and smart and so, so worthy of the place he’s finally received.

And he’s worried about Roman.

And Roman yelled at him.

Because Roman can’t stand the idea--the fact--that he’s going to be replaced. He’s such a coward. He thought he could step down gracefully, but he had to claw his way back to a place he isn’t wanted, because he’s desperate. He’s so desperate. He would do anything to get Janus’ approval. Or Patton’s, or Logan’s, or Thomas’. He would do anything in the world to be loved.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic--

Roman curls tighter.

Maybe he won’t mind being a dark side if it gets the knives in his lungs to stop slicing deeper.

Maybe he should just duck out before he causes any more trouble.

Everything’s itching and spinning and his breath comes in short gasps and he can no longer tell if he’s breathing in or out.

He closes his eyes, opens them again, blinks away the tears clustered on his lashes, tries to tighten his grip on his legs so he can finally be crushed into little pieces or feel safe or pretend that someone is there with him, running him through exercises, saying that he’s worthy and loved and still a hero even when he’s crumpled on the ground with a heaving chest and wrinkled pajamas.

Logan would do it. Maybe. If Roman asked. Logan would calm him down, at least. Maybe Virgil would, too.

They’re nice that way.

They’d calm him down.

Then they’d kick him out and say he’s too weak to ever be a prince.

He should leave. Why is he still here? Why can’t he move?

Why is everything collapsing around him?

Why is he such a failure?

He’s forgotten how to breathe. He’s going to die. He’s going to fall to pieces in this hallway and they’ll find his burned edges tomorrow morning and they’ll kick the ashes into the corners and move on.

He needs to go.

He doesn’t want to go.

He wants to slam his fist into Janus’ door and break it down and collapse around Janus and sob into his shoulder and promise he’ll be better, promise he’ll make things right, if Janus just gives him one more chance and opens up his heart--

Roman takes a long shaky breath.

In. And out. In. And out.

You’re doing good, says a voice that might be Logan’s and might be Virgil’s and somehow manages to cut through the haze in his head. Keep breathing.

In, out, in, out.

Roman lets his head loll forward. He’s done. He’s exhausted. He wants to curl up under his blankets and sleep forever.

He raises one hand.

He could knock on the door.

Janus is probably asleep.

Janus hates him.

Janus is right to hate him.

He needs to go.

Roman closes his eyes and lets his head thunk against Janus’ door. Cold and stiff and hard and telling him to go.

Roman snaps his fingers and sinks out.

He’ll come back when he’s less desperate.

---

I know I could be more clever, and I know I could be more strong.

Janus is standing in front of Roman’s door.

It wasn’t his idea this time. He’d been perfectly happy avoiding Roman any chance he got. But Virgil had come running into Janus’ room, insisting that Roman had been on-and-off panicking for the past few days, and begging Janus to do something about it.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Janus had said. “I’m not exactly the best side for the job, and I’m sure he’d love to see me.”

“Please,” Virgil had said.

Janus had always been weak for Virgil, a fact he abhorred, and Virgil was asking him for help. Janus. Virgil trusted Janus to help Roman, even though Janus had done nothing but help Roman sink to even greater depths.

What was Janus supposed to do, just turn Virgil away?

So now he’s here, knocking twice on Roman’s door, ignoring the nerves that crawl up his throat and tickle under his scales. He hopes Roman isn’t here. He hopes Roman is in a good mood. He hopes Roman is okay.

There’s no answer.

Janus knocks harder.

“Go away,” he hears.

Janus contemplates shifting into Patton or Virgil or someone else. But Roman is remarkably good at catching him in disguise, and the idea just feels wrong to him. Besides, that would certainly get Roman to trust him--once again impersonating one of his closest friends.

Janus knocks once more.

“Go away, Patton,” Roman calls.

Janus opens his mouth to correct Roman and finds that it’s gone too dry for speech.

He settles for knocking again.

“I’m coming!” There are rustling noises. The irritation in Roman’s voice is plain, but so is the fatigue, and so is a crackling, cutting edge that betrays he’s upset.

The door flies open. “I told you, Patton, I’m not coming to dinner--”

Janus waves sheepishly.

Roman stares at Janus for a few very long seconds.

“Roman?” Janus asks. “I...I came to check on you, Virgil says you’ve been upset lately and you seemed rather--volatile when we last spoke. So...I...is everything alright? Would you like to talk?” He laughs to himself. “I know I’m the last person you want to see, but I could fetch Patton, or--”

Roman keeps staring at Janus.

“Roman?” Janus asks again.

And Roman bursts into tears.

He tries to stifle them, if the way he presses a fist to his mouth is any indication, but it doesn’t work. Tears drip from his eyes and he starts sobbing softly. It’s a pathetic sound and it makes Janus’ chest ache.

“Hey,” Janus says frantically, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to--”

“‘S not your fault,” Roman chokes out between sobs, “just bein’ stupid--”

“You--” Janus gives up on words and reaches out, touching Roman’s shoulder. He expects Roman to throw himself away from the touch. Instead, Roman whines and throws himself forward, latching onto Janus’ clothes and curling up against his chest.

Janus bites back a gasp--when was the last time he’s been hugged? He doesn’t remember--and slowly slides to the floor, bringing Roman with him. He sits in the doorway with Roman practically in his lap, sobbing into his shoulder.

He expects Roman to stop crying soon. He waits for Roman to realize exactly what he’s doing--that he’s in the arms of a side he hates. But Roman doesn’t. He must be really upset.

Janus swallows and shifts into Patton’s form. A cat hoodie settles around his shoulders and he clucks his tongue, running his hands through Roman’s hair.

“C’mon, kiddo,” he says in a voice that’s not his own, “let it out, okay? Let it out.”

Roman makes an unidentifiable wailing noise and pushes at Janus’ shoulder.

Not Patton, then. Janus slouches and lets a purple hoodie form around his arms. It’s surprisingly comfortable. He huffs, his bangs fluttering a bit, and rubs circles in Roman’s back.

“What happened, Princey?” he asks in Virgil’s growling tones. “Who do I need to yell at?”

Roman shakes his head vehemently.

So Janus straightens again--as much as he can, he’s still gay, and why is he making ridiculous jokes when Creativity is crying into his shoulder--and a tie knots itself around his neck.

“Breathe in for four,” he instructs in Logan’s clipped voice. “Hold for seven, out for eight. You are figuratively breaking down and you need to steady yourself.”

Roman flinches away.

Janus switches back to Virgil, because he’s feeling anxious and he’s run out of people and Virgil seems to be the person Roman likes the most.

“Stop,” Roman pleads, looking up into Janus’ face that isn’t Janus’ face. His eyes are red and tears cling to his eyelashes.

“I don’t know what you want,” Janus blurts out. “I can be Thomas, I can get the real Thomas, I can leave you alone--”

“Don’t leave.” Roman clings to him tighter. “Don’t.”

“Thomas, then?” Janus coughs and shifts into Thomas. It’s the hardest one yet and it makes him feel rather bad. He’s never impersonated Thomas before. That’s been an internal rule for him--Thomas is off-limits. But if Roman needs it... “Keep breathing, buddy--”

“Stop!” Roman yells. “Stop pretending to be people!”

“What else am I supposed to do?” Janus asks, his panic probably showing. “What do you want me to be?”

“You!” Roman shakes his head. “You’re who I want, stop hiding and just be you.”

Janus is silent.

Roman starts crying again, making a mess of Janus’ clothes, but he finds himself barely caring.

“Shh,” he says, cupping the back of Roman’s head, remembering all the nights he had to talk Virgil down, the little spider curled up next to him. “Shh, easy, okay? In and out. You’re safe here. I’ve got you.”

“I--” Roman stumbles over his words. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t talk. Focus on breathing.”

“I’m sorry!” Roman insists. “I-I’m so sorry, Janus, please--”

“I know.” And Janus finds he does, at least right now. “I forgive you.”

“You shouldn’t,” Roman murmurs into Janus’ shoulder.

Janus smirks. “Don’t tell me what to do, Roman.”

“You--” Roman sits up straight, eyes wide. “You--please don’t make me leave--I’m sorry--I can do better, I promise, I know you want to but I don’t want to leave--”

“Leave?” Janus repeats. “Where on earth are you leaving?”

“H-here.” Roman waves a hand, his face crumpling again. “‘Cause I’m bad. I’m the evil twin.”

Janus feels horror clench in the pit of his stomach. “That is not--I said that as an offhand jab! Roman, you’re not evil--and for that matter, neither is Remus--Roman, listen to me.”

Roman has disappeared into Janus’ arms again, shaking like a leaf in the wind.

“Listen,” Janus orders. “You’re not leaving. Remus is not replacing you. I have no idea where you got that.”

“You’re lying,” Roman says miserably. “That’s all you do.”

Janus hisses between his teeth. “That’s not--”

“I know. Sorry.”

“It’s not.” Janus pauses. “Your name is Roman. You are the embodiment of Thomas’ creativity. You like Disney and love to write and want to find Thomas the prince of his dreams.”

Roman shifts a little in Janus’ arms.

“You have a brother named Remus that you aren’t proud of. You are friends with Virgil, who you used to dislike. You often fight with Logan but you care for him nonetheless, and he feels the same for you. You are good friends with Patton.”

“Not anymore,” Roman says.

“You are. Things will work out between you two. He still views you as a close friend.” Janus reached out and swept Roman’s hair off his forehead. “You are Creativity. You are strong, passionate, and indispensable. Everyone here cares deeply about you and forgives you for your mistakes. You are not broken or evil or a dark side.”

Roman shudders.

“I can speak the truth,” Janus says, and it sounds wrong but also so right. “I am not only my lies, and you are not only your mistakes, and I speak the truth when I say that I will never make you leave.”

“I’m sorry,” Roman says. “I’m so sorry.”

Janus sighs. “I’m sorry, too.”

And they fall silent, with nothing left to say, Roman still clutching Janus like a lifeline, Janus rubbing the back of Roman’s neck and bringing out another arm or two to help keep Roman in place. Roman doesn’t flinch. Janus finds this oddly reassuring.

“It’s late,” Janus finally says. “I’m sure you’re tired after that.”

“Yeah,” Roman admits. “But I’ve got work to do, I can’t just--”

“You can’t possibly get any work done in this state, unless your creativity is increased by mental breakdowns.” Janus sighs and pulls Roman to his feet, wiping away the last of his tears. “Go to sleep, Roman. I’ll be able to tell if you haven’t.”

“Creepy,” Roman mutters, but he grins shyly and turns to go into his room.

"Roman?” Janus asks before he can talk himself out of it.

“Yes, Nag-gini?”

“Ouch,” Janus says blandly, to convey that he isn’t hurt at all. On the contrary, the nickname makes him feel somewhat bouncy. Ridiculous emotions. “I wanted to...extend an invitation, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Janus tucks one hand behind his back so he can fidget. “I...my room. Tomorrow afternoon at three or so? Just knock on the door.”

“What’ll we do?” Roman asks.

“Whatever we feel like.” Janus swallows. “Of course it’s perfectly understandable if you wish to spend your time elsewhere, I was only raising the possibility--”

“Calm down, you sound like Logan.” Roman laughs a bit. “‘Course I’ll come. Um--thanks.”

“It’s no trouble,” Janus says smoothly, neatly avoiding mentioning the several weeks he’s spent trying to work up the nerve to talk to Roman. “I’ll see you then. Now get some rest or I’ll send Remus to knock you out.”

Roman laughs again. It sends fluttering happiness through Janus’ chest. He hasn’t heard Roman laugh for weeks.

“Bye,” Roman says, closing the door and waving.

“Goodbye,” Janus says back.

Janus lingers for a few more moments before turning away.

He’ll come back soon enough.

---

I'm waiting for the day you come back and say "Hey, maybe I should change my mind."

Roman is standing in front of Janus’ door.

It should be easier this time around. He’s been invited! Janus expects him to knock on this door, and if he hasn’t suddenly decided he hates Roman again, Janus will welcome him in.

What if he has changed his mind?

No, that’s ridiculous. Janus wouldn’t do that. He’s steady and ridiculously one-note--if he says one thing, he sticks by it.

He said Roman was the evil twin.

Then he said Roman wasn’t.

And he’s a liar, a trickster, so Roman can’t figure out which one is right.

One was said during a fit of anger. The other was said to calm Roman down. One is the truth, one is a lie, and Roman knows well enough that he’s very bad at telling when Janus is lying. Maybe Janus only complimented him to manipulate him later--maybe it was all flattery--maybe it was a joke Roman was too stupid to get--

Roman’s mind is spinning. He needs to stop overthinking this or he’ll start panicking again. This is fine. Everything’s fine. Janus invited him and it’s going to be fine--

Unless this is a trap. Maybe everyone’s waiting in there, ready to send Roman to the Dark Side. Or maybe it’s a test, and Janus will interview him, see if he’s realy changed. And he’ll find ouut that Roman hasn’t. That Roman is a failure and always will be.

He doesn’t want those piercing eyes staring him down.

If Janus can sense lies, he’ll know all the things Roman lied about.

Is he lying? Is he telling the truth? Roman runs back and forth in his head, exploring every possibility, but it all comes down to the fact that he doesn’t know Janus at all. Janus could be doing anything with this. He could have changed his mind and Roman could be pushing himself into a space he isn’t wanted. He should just leave before he causes any more trouble--

“Roman?”

Roman flinches back as the door opens.

And Janus smiles. “There you are. Come inside!”

Roman does, hesitantly, still feeling like any moment the other shoe will fall. He tries to look around at Janus’ rom like he’s never seen it before. Janus would surely be mad if he learned Roman had snuck into it before.

“What are we doing?” Roman asks after Janus has settled into his armchair and Roman has perched on the edge of the bed.

“A little bird told me you’re struggling with your ideas,” Janus says, pulling a few books off the shelf. “I figured a change of scenery might help? And I fancy myself rather good at telling tales.”

“Really?” Roman asks.

“Of course.” Janus smirks. “Would I lie to you?”

Roman’s indecision must show on his face, because Janus sinks a little bit and sighs.

“I know you can’t trust me,” Janus says quietly, “but I really am just trying to help.”

“I don’t trust Deceit,” Roman agrees.

“You shouldn’t.” Janus nods. “It’s not wise.”

“I don’t trust Deceit,” Roman says again. “But...I think I could trust Janus. If I got to know him a bit.”

Something flashes across Janus’ face. “Janus doesn’t exist.”

“It’s you.”

“No, it’s not, it’s--” Janus is getting worked up now, and Roman has no idea what he did. “I can’t explain it. Janus isn’t real. Deceit is who I am.”

“Janus is real,” Roman argues, because he doesn’t know Janus that well but even he knows that.

“No it’s not! I’m not!” Janus throws up his hands. “I’m a liar, I’m a fake, I’m a fraud, why don’t you get that?”

“You’re not.” Roman leans forward. “You’re a dork and ridiculously dramatic and you like musicals and you don’t like being wrong and you look good in a suit and you can pull off a hat the way I can’t and you love sarcasm and--” Roman shakes his head vehemently. “That’s not Deceit. That’s Janus. And I’d like to see a little more of him sometimes.”

“Don’t...” Janus pauses. “Just...I’d like not to be Janus. For a while. Janus...I’m scared of that. I’d just like something between Deceit and Janus, if that’s alright. ”

“Dee?” Roman asks. “Does that work?”

“Dee,” Janus repeats. “That’s...” A smile flashes over his face. A real smile. “I like that.”

“Dee, then.” Roman smiles. “Aladdin?”

“Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

“Snow White.”

“Black Cauldron.”

Roman grins wider. “The Incredibles?”

Janus laughs. “Not Disney.”

“Pixar, and we’re doing it.” Roman pauses, searching for words. “Um... you alright, Janus? Are we...good?”

Janus is silent for a long time.

“We could be,” Janus says. “I think we’re getting there.”

“Great,” Roman says. And finds he means it. Things aren’t perfect, but he can get better. He knows that.

Roman can leave some things unspoken for now. Janus hears them anyway.

And he’ll come back to them when he’s ready.

---

I was out on the town so I came to your window last night.

Janus is standing in front of Roman’s door.

It’s open, so he slips inside, sits next to Roman on the bed, and stares at the swirls of paint across the ceiling. They look like the currents of an ocean, the sweep of galaxies across the sky.

“Everything’s changing,” Roman says.

“Yes,” Janus says.

“I don’t like change.”

“Nobody does.”

“This...this is good change, though.” Roman pauses. “Right?”

Janus thinks of the discussions they’ve had. The way Thomas is really trying to put himself first when necessary. Patton’s cookies, Logan’s debates, Remus’ little octopus plushies that he gifted them all after getting accepted. Virgil, who gave Janus a quick “sorry” over breakfast cereal, and somehow that said everything that needed to be said.

He thinks of Roman. How wrong he was about Roman. Roman is not broken and never has been--he simply stumbled, and with help, he is rising again. He smiles more often. He sings along to Disney movies. He laughs at Patton’s puns. He’s started reading wit Logan in the afternoons. He’s even sparring with his brother, and it seems less vindictive than it used to be, as if it’s only a playfight now.

Roman is happier. Not happy, not perfect, but better.

And Janus feels...a little better, too.

“It’s good change,” Janus agrees.

“You want to do some Shakespeare?” Roman offers.

“I was thinking Dante’s Inferno,” Janus responds, like he always does.

“Boring,” Roman says like always, wrinkling his nose. “Disney?”

“Disney,” Janus agrees.

“I’ll get it ready, Janus--” Roman pauses. “Um...is Janus good today?”

Janus thinks about it. Because Janus has connotations and weighty moments and Roman’s laughter still rings in his ears. He doesn’t want to be Deceit. He’s scared to be Janus. He wants a little space in between, to find out who he is without the lies, to find out how he could be...more. More than his job. Maybe a friend, maybe a confidant, maybe somebody worthy.

Janus could be that. If he wanted.

Some days Janus crawls over his skin, wrong and itchy and reminding him of how much of a lie he is. Today it settles in place--strange and a little new, but not bad. A change. Not a bad change.

Sometimes things need to change.

Sometimes you need to talk a leap of faith and knock on the door.

“Janus is alright.” Janus smiles. “Janus is good, actually.”

“Yeah,” Roman agrees, smiling back, “he is.”

The door is open. It’s remained so for weeks. And even if it wasn’t, Janus would find the courage to knock. Because he knows Roman would do the same for him.

He’ll always come back.

He’ll always try again.

---

Now I'm causing a scene,

thinking you need a reason to smile.

General taglist (ask to be included or removed!):

@the17thmeatball

@most-likely-fandom

@csi-baker-street-babes

@caffeinated-cryptid

@thefivecalls

@ollyollyoxinfree

@the-gay-is-back

Taglist sourced from @the-taglist-repository:

@callboxkat @nonasficcollection @supernovainthenightsky @evoodo123 @idont-freaking-know @hekking-happy-nonsense @cottonwoolsocks @aceawkwardunicorn @just-your-typical-trans-guy @legendsgates @itsabsurd-and-terrifying @k1ngtok1 @itsabsurd-and-terrifying @smileyzs @robinwritesshitposts @thatgaydemigodnerd @potatsanderssides @arya-skywalker @somehow-i-got-an-account @star-crossed-shipper @a-fandom-trashdump @locked-prism @kieraelieson @rainbowbowtie @10moonymhrivertam @katelynn-a-fan @dwbh888 @royal-stormcloud @ananonsplace @intruxiety @brain-deadx0 @the-grounded-raven @grouptalekindnesssoul @the-hoely-bleach @anvil527up @fanficloverinthesun

#roceit #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #roman sanders #janus sanders #averywrites #tw panic attack #tw anxiety #crying #angst #angst with a happy ending #roman angst #janus angst #roceit angst #platonic roceit #well actually kind of debatable? i'm sticking with platonic tho #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction

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livinglifebehindthemask · 3 years

Text

The Chosen

Based on the book The Selection by Kiera Cass

Pairing: Magnus/Alec with a small side of Helen/Aline and Reyhill

Rating: M for Mature

Word Count: ~24,000

Art: @flynnifox

Beta: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myblackeyedboy

Summary: In a land where your place in society was decided long before you are born, Alec Lightwood spends his day as a farm hand for a local family. His family is just above the poorest in the country. The most he can expect in life is to die early from stress like his grandfather before him.

But this year everything will change.

The only son of the King of Edom has come of age. There will soon be a lottery between the counties and twenty-three young women will be picked to try and win over the heart of the beloved prince. However, this year will be different, for the first time ever men are allowed to enter as well. Will Alec risk the shame of coming out for a chance to meet his childhood crush, that is if he is chosen.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33675712/chapters/83691226

The sun was just rising when Alec awoke. The Lightwood household was still quiet, but not for long. Soon the rooster would caw and the whole house would rise. Alec leaned back in his small bed. Across the tiny room was his brother, Max. The poor little boy had soot still on his nose from helping their dad clean the chimney of the main house.

A bird started cawing outside of their window and Max stirred. Time to get up and get ready for the day. There were three children in the Lightwood household. The Lightwood family were Sevens. They were just above the homeless untouchables and people didn’t hesitate to remind them of this fact.

The Kingdom of Edom had eight class levels. Ones were the royalty and magical mystics. The second level were the models, actors, soldiers, and politicians. The Threes held most of the everyday jobs like teachers, doctors, lawyers, writers, and inventors. Fours were the farmers, chefs, and business owners. Fives were the artists. Singers, musicians, and dancers filled this level. The Fives were on the cusp of poverty for more than half the year. Sixes and Sevens were similar in that they were mostly servants, wait staff, secretaries, housekeepers, factory workers; however Sevens worked outside. They were also similar in pay. While their jobs were needed they were barely paid for their work. Eights were the lowest class, made up of the homeless. Traitors and criminals were among their ranks and they had to beg for food or steal.

Alec’s family lived on the Herondale family farm. It was steady work, but not well paid. The five Lightwoods did most of the upkeep needed on the farm. While the Herondale’s ran the business side of the farm. The Heriondales were only Fours, three levels above the Lightwoods, but they never treated them as anything less than family. However, even the Herondale’s were not that rich.

Max rolled over in his small bed and resumed softly snoring. Shifting out of his bed and pulling on his threadbare socks Alec pushed his feet into the worn out shoes and quietly shuffled out to use the bathroom. Alec splashed water on his face afterwards to wake himself up more. He heard a rooster and knew that everyone else would be getting up soon too. Down the hall from the bathroom was his parents room and his sister’s room. Izzy had a room to herself, but it was not much. It had been a place for storage once upon a time, but when Izzy got older they took her bed and squeezed it in the small room. It was big enough for a small bed, side table, and a chest at the foot of the bed. Still it was her little sanctuary.

His mother was already up, fixing food. He leaned over and kissed his mother’s cheek before pulling on his overcoat and heading outside. His first task of the morning was to milk the cows. Once he did that he had to make sure they were fed and comfortable. The chickens would be next.

The wind chilled him to the bone. Fall was not far off and winter would quickly follow. The crops would be harvested soon and the land left barren for the season. It had been a hard summer. The drought had lasted too long and their yield was not going to be as much as previous years. There was a possibility that the Herondales might have to let them go. This was the only home Alec had ever known and he didn’t want Max to grow up in this uncertainty.

The only way out of your level was marriage for women or being drafted into the military for men. At nineteen, men were randomly selected for the draft. For some it was a way out of poverty, but it also brought on more danger. Men that went to the front in the war with Diyu rarely came back. Still if he could get drafted and stay alive for at least a few months then the money he earned could help his family. One more year and he would be old enough for the draft. There was, however, an exception to the marriage rule.

Male pregnancy had always been the stuff of legends, but after the king's mystics found the proper mixture of spells and potions men were able to carry children to term just like women. While only Threes and up had enough money to pay for magical potions and spells, the lower levels didn't. Fours on down were more traditional. Men married women and had families.

"Hey." He turned to see Jace, the oldest Herondale son. Jace was about a year younger than Alec, all blond hair and muscles. The Lightwood and Herondale children had grown up together. There were five Herondale children: Jace, Sebastian, who was two years younger and a year younger than Izzy. Aaron was four years younger and the closest to Max's age. Then Layla and Dylan who were the only girls, twins of about five years old.

"Hey." Alec smiled back as his heart sped up. Alec was not like most men, he was in love with a man. Well two men. His place in society meant he could never have what he truly wanted.

"Need any help?" Jace was still rubbing his eyes.

"You can take that bucket back to my mom." Maryse, Alec's mother, and Izzy worked on the dairy side of the farm while at the same time Robert, Alec, and little Max did the tilling of earth. Jace nodded and walked, grabbing the full bucket and taking it back to the house. Alec sighed as he watched the man leave. He needed to snap out of this. Besides, Jace already had a girlfriend. So Alec being in love with his best friend was completely wrong. There were a handful of Twos and Threes but most of the province of Idris' residents were Fives on down.

The second man Alec was in love with was even more unattainable. Magnus Octavioasn Aemilius Bane was the crown prince of Edom, but Alec felt like he knew him after watching him grow up on the public access channel. He had copper skin, just like his mother, raven hair that was always perfectly coiffed, and honey gold eyes, like his father.

Alec sighed as he finished up with the second bucket. Why was he attracted to men that were so unattainable?

Later after the eggs had been collected and his mother had gotten the milk, he sat down for a simple meal of porridge and day-old bread.

"How is the harvest coming?" His mom asked his dad.

"Better than we had expected but nowhere near enough. Stephen said they will try to make a good profit on what they have but there will not be any left over." Robert sighed. The drought had really hit Idris hard. Fellow farmers didn't have any room for extra workers. The dairy would keep them going through the winter but Alec knew his father was already looking for other work.

“I can go into Alicante and see if anyone needs help.” Alec offered. His father had been looking too tired as of late.

“You are needed here, Alec.” His father sighed.

“After the last of the harvest. Maybe I can get enough work before the snow starts to fall.” His father would not say no to any work and Alec was the same way.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Izzy came into the boys’ room after dinner. Max was taking a bath so Alec was alone with his thoughts for a moment.

“Alec.” His sister walked over and sat beside him. “I just delivered some milk to the main house and I heard Mr. and Mrs. Herondale talking about the Prince. His birthday is soon.” Alec nodded as if trying to follow along but he was lost. Izzy sighed. “When a prince of Edom turns 20 he is deemed marriageable age.”

OH. It was time for the prince to find his spouse. Daughters of the King were usually married off to foreign leaders to secure bonds, but sons always married a daughter of Edom. Soon letters would be going out to every female between the ages of sixteen and twenty to be placed into a lottery and see which would become a part of the chosen few.

“Then you will be able to enter.” Alec said with a small smile. If a girl became a part of the chosen few her status was automatically upped to a Three if she was not a natural born Two or Three. Even if she went home the very next day she would still retain that level. Izzy deserved a better life than the one she lived.

“I was not finished,” She admonished. “They said that rumor has it that the Prince is bisexual and might be looking for women and men.” Alec’s head spun for a moment. The Prince was...how...no. It had to be a rumor. That was it, just a silly rumor.

“Ssso?” He hated how his voice slipped as he tried to sound confident.

“So, I will not be the only one that can fill out the form.” Alec shot up from his bed and stuffed his feet back into his worn out shoes.

“I forgot to check the hen house.” Alec nearly ran out of the door just to get away from her. No, absolutely no one knew of his feelings toward men and yet Izzy had pretty much spelled it out. Alec made his way over to the hen house knowing fully well he had locked the gate and nothing could get in or out.

If the Prince wanted a male spouse...it was not unheard of in the upper levels, however, as long as he could remember Princes married daughters of Edom, not sons of Edom. Tucking that thought away, back where it belonged, Alec walked around for a bit before he was sure Izzy would be in her room so he could sneak back in without encountering her knowing smile.

Alec wiped his brow before the sweat could fall into his eyes. It was nearly noon and the harvesting was almost done. His father was right, it was not going to be enough to make a decent profit. Alec had already decided he was going into town the next day to look for work. Neither his father nor little brother were looking particularly well lately. Max had always been a little sickly, but Alec feared it might be stress for his father. Roberts' own father had died around the same age from a heart attack. So had his father before him. Working all day outside in the heat and the cold for very little pay would be stressful for anyone. Alec was not going to let that be the fate of his father, not if he could help it.

Later after a small dinner the family traveled up to the main house to watch the weekly report. No one missed a report, ever. Even the homeless could find a store front to watch the report from. It told the people of Edom everything they needed to know from prices of produce, to the war. Tonight was going to be particularly special. This would be the night they would announce the Prince’s birthday and the Chosen guidelines.

When they got to the Herondales' they found that Dylan and Layla were already in Jace’s lap, each one occupying a leg of their favorite brother. Aaron and Max went to sit in a corner, probably going to play with cards or bottle caps. They didn’t much care for the report. A bunch of boring updates that never had anything to do with two lower class boys. It would be a few years before they started to take notice.

Izzy sat next to Sebastian, who was sitting next to Jace, and Alec took the floor in front of her. For the past year both mothers have been trying to push the kids together. Izzy could marry into a higher level and get out of the hard labor. Lower levels tended to marry early as premarital sex was punishamble by banishment or death. Most people married within their class and it was rare that a boy from a high caste would marry a level beneath him, not to mention three levels.

Jace already had a girlfriend, a little fiery red headed Five. Clary Fairchild lived in the middle of town, above a bookstore. Her past was a sordid one. Her mother used to be a Five, a painter in Alicante. A neighbor boy, who was a Four, had gone to a school far from Idris. One vacation he brought his new friend, a Two, to visit. Jocelyn fell for the charismatic Valentine Morgenstern.

They married and Jocelyn left Alicante for the capital. Unfortunately Valentine was caught in a plot to overthrow the king, along with his son, Jonathan. Jocelyn was innocent in the plot and in exchange for testifying against her husband she was able to go back to her hometown and became a Five once again. Clary was the younger child and only eight when all this happened so she went with her mother. The demotion from Two to Five must have been hard for Clary, who was used to such a grand lifestyle as the daughter of a politician. But she was a natural Five, being as good of an artist as her mom.

But if the weather didn’t get better both unions might have to wait. There might even be a possibility that Jace or Sebatien would be forced to marry a wealthier Four bride. Love was still the primary reason that most lower level couples married for, but in the upper levels connections took precedence over emotions.

“There he is!” Izzy cheered. She didn’t need to be so loud, but nonetheless Alec turned his head to the TV. King Asmodeus and Queen Annisa walked in, hand in hand with Magnus on his father’s other side. Magnus walked with grace and beauty. The raven haired man had his head held high. A streak of blue running through his perfectly quaffed hair. Being from the Bane family the Prince knew magic and knew how to change his appearance and he never missed an opportunity to make a statement.

Izzy squeezed her brother’s shoulder as Jace tried to calm the girls down. The report would start with the Edom national anthem, led by the royals themselves. Then advisers would stand one by one and give a brief update of issues around the kingdom. Only after that would the talk turn to the Chosen.

As the program went on Alec found his heart was beating faster. Why did it matter? Even if he did enter he would never be chosen and then he would bring shame to his family. He was expected to marry within his class, not above it, and to a woman.

Both families listened to the reports with the kids zoning in and out of listening. Max and Aaron were still playing in the corner, Dylan had settled down but her sister was still a ball of energy. Finally after the last governmental report, the one about the farms, the attention was turned to the master of ceremonies, Simon Lewis. His dark curly hair was perfectly styled and he held a microphone to match his magenta suit. Simon bowed before the King.

“Thank you, Sire. It is an honor to be a part of this historic choosing.” Alec felt his breath hitch for a moment. Historic, so it was true. The rumor was true. “Prince Magnus, might you join me down here.” The Prince stood from his chair and gracefully walked down the few steps and over to where Simon and a small table and two chairs waited.

“Thank you very much, Simon.” The Prince and the MC sat down.

“It is I that should be thanking you. Life is never boring around you.” Magnus chuckled.

“That is very true and soon it will be more chaotic.”

“Speaking of, how are you feeling about this year's choosing? Twenty-three young women chosen to come vie for the Prince's attention?” Simon wiggled his brows. “Must be quite a task.”

“It would be, but I have decided to take it a step farther.” Magnus turned to the camera and spoke straight to the people. “I am opening the Chosen to the sons of Edom, not just to the daughters.”

Those words buzzed in his ears loud enough that Alec didn’t hear anything else. Sons of Edom.

The news exploded through all twenty-three provinces of Edom. The local province registration offices were flooded with people, both male and female, all trying to get their chance at this lottery. In Alicante most of the men that signed up were Threes or Fours. No men from the lower levels were seen near the office. Even the Fours signing up were risking everything.

Robert had forbidden Izzy from signing up. “If he is that much of a deviant then we don’t need our family dragged into that.” Of course he had only said that within the confines of his small home with his family present. But that didn’t stop Alec from wanting it. He wanted to sign up and even made up his mind to walk the five miles to the office, twice, before he chicken out.

As the days went by Alec filled his time with finding new work to offset the cost of winter. He had found a few construction jobs along with cleaning up a couple abandoned plots of land. The money he brought home was well worth it. He had even started to forget about his own wishes until the night Max came down sick.

Max had never been that healthy, but most of the common remedies for colds kept the sickness at bay. He was not to work in the cold and rain, but being on a farm he often had to help his father and brother. The weather had started to turn cold when Max woke up one morning with a headache and he looked as white as a sheet.

Unfortunately they couldn’t send for a doctor, that was just too expensive. Even the Herondales didn’t have the money. Maryse sat by her son’s bed and tried to make him as comfortable as possible.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Izzy pulled Alec into her room and closed the door. “What do you want?” Izzy had been trying to get Alec alone all day, but there was work to be done. Finally after dinner she was able to corner him.

“Here.” She handed him a small white envelope. Alec looked at it and then back up to his sister. “Open it, you idiot.” She said, exasperated. Alec rolled his eyes and sat on her small bed to open up the envelope. The moment he read the first sentence of the form he knew what it was. It was the Chosen form.

“Izzy, no.”

“Alec, yes. This could be your only chance at real love.” That was if the Prince even chose him, which he probably would not. He would want some handsome Two or Three that knew poetry and how to model rather than when to plant the next crop or how to clean a chimney in under an hour.

“And what if it gets back to mom and dad? They can not afford the shame.”

“Alec.” Izzy took his hand in hers. Both of them worked hard but Izzy still had softer hands. “We are one step above the homeless. We live in this hell of a level because of our ancestors. That does not mean we should not want more. You don’t want to waste your life working outside on a farm, marrying someone you don’t love, and then possibly dying early from all the hard work?”

Alec looked back at the form. If the people of Alicante found out and refused to employ him...he could move to Brooklyn, thirty miles to the east, he reasoned. The city had more opportunities and maybe he could bring back a lot of money, but was this worth all that effort?

“Try, Alec. If you are picked then the family will get a stipend for your absence. That money could be used to heal Max. It could keep us in this house for another winter.” Izzy was right. If he was chosen his parents would get money and Alec would be elevated to a Three. Even if he was shown the door the first night he would have a different level that would allow him to be a teacher or a writer or anything else really.

“Ok, Iz. I will try.”

-=-=-=-=-=-

The next day before anyone had gotten up Alec rose from his temporary bed. Alec had given up his bed so his mother could sleep near Max in case he needed her. Alec took the worn out couch in the living room as his bed.

Going to the bathroom he combed his hair and washed his face. After everyone had gone to bed the night before Alec had looked over the form. It was said that pictures were taken when the person turned their form in. So much for it being a random lottery. Still Alec wanted to look his best. He had borrowed a shirt from Jace, not exactly telling him why he wanted it, but the light blue shirt looked newer than his brown or grey ones. It made his blue eyes pop and that was more than he could hope for.

Back out of the bathroom he stuffed his small satchel with his work shirt, the form, and some food before leaving a note for his parents. He was planning on finding work after he put the form in. It would give him an excuse as to why he had left so early. He would not turn any job down, no matter what it entailed.

It was early morning as he walked across the fields to the road that would lead him into Alicante proper. Alicante was a small town with a main street full of little shops and then homes surrounding it. The registration office opened at eight and he still had over two hours before that. He could take this walk at a leisurely pace. He didn’t want to be muddy or sweaty when he got to the office.

As he walked he tried to think what it would be like if he was chosen. There would never any be a chance with Jace. He didn’t favor men and only had eyes for Clary. Like Izzy said, this could be his only hope at a relationship with a man.

Slowly the sun rose higher and higher in the sky. People started to open their businesses as he passed main street. He would be back soon to see if anyone needed help. The business owners were always so nice to him and his family. Turning off main street he headed for the edge of town. The registration office was right across from the train station on the edge of town. He stopped by the station to see the price of a ticket to Brooklyn. If everything went south he would need a way out.

There was already a small line in front of the office. Two more days and the registration would be closed. It seemed he was not the only one that wanted to get their pictures taken early. There were a handful of girls with their mothers who looked like they were on their way to work. Probably Sixes going to work at local factories or maybe even bookkeepers.

The group looked at him for a moment as he stood behind the last woman in line. Even if he flushed with embarrassment he refused to turn around. He was here and he was going to put his form in.

Within twenty minutes of standing in line and a few more people joining the line the office opened. This gave Alec time to wipe his face of any dirt or sweat he had gathered from the trek. The wait was short before he was allowed in the building. The woman at the front desk looked him over before asking for his form. Most government office workers were Fours so he was pretty sure this woman looked down on him.

Taking out the form from his bag he handed it over. Where girls might have been able to put skills of cooking and sewing down Alec only had one skill, archey. He hadn’t even done it in years since Jace’s bow had broken in their early teens. Still it was better than any other skill he could think of.

“Alright, Alexander Lightwood?”

“Alec.”

“Alec. This way to the photo booth.” She motioned into a small room. Inside was a photographer and his assistant. Alec swallowed his embarrassment and walked inside.

“Come over, my son. Getting your picture taken for the choosing?” The man didn’t bat an eye at him. He must not be from Alicante.

“Yes sir.” Alec put his bag down on the floor near the door and walked over to where the man pointed to. Once he sat down the assistant made a few adjustments to the lighting before going behind the camera with the photographer.

“Alright, son. I want you to think of your happiest memory. Hold it close to your heart and smile. One.” Alec thought of a time when Jace, Izzy, and himself had played near a brook, acting like they were pirates that wanted to take over the world. “Two.” He remembered being chosen to be Jace’s first mate and how much pride he took in that job, mostly “swabbing the decks.” “Three.”

Alec smiled brightly as the flash went off. He hoped he looked as happy as he felt from the memory.

After Alec left the office he hid in an alleyway and changed his shirt. Stuffing the nicer shirt back in his bag he set off back down the street towards main street. That day he was able to scrape enough money together to save some for his train ticket plus a little more to bring home.

It had been two weeks since he put his form in. The lottery had closed and soon the Chosen would be picked. Even though he felt like he had changed, no one else seemed to notice. No one turned him away when he asked if there was any work he could do. That made him breathe a little easier.

So far he had brought in enough money that his parents could get medicine from the store to help little Max. He still was not better, but he hadn’t gotten worse. There was no way that in the next few months he could get enough money together so they could visit a doctor. If Max didn’t get better on his own there might only be four Lightwoods left.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Alec sat his pack down at the door and stretched his back and neck. Today had been a hard day. Only a few people needed help in the town. It was still another week until people started to winterize their homes. Both Robert and Alec had clients lined up starting the next Monday.

“Hey, Alec.” Izzy was in the kitchen stirring something over the stove.

“Please tell me you didn’t make that all on your own.” He ducked as a towel sailed towards him.

“It’s one of mom’s stews so no it will not poison you, but I might.” Izzy was not the greatest cook, mainly because their mom never let her help. Maryse wanted to be in control of everything in the kitchen but now with Max sick, she couldn’t.

Their father came in moments later. He looked paler than usual. The partiach had been working twice as hard the past couple weeks. They were both trying to make as much money as they could.

“Food will be ready soon, Papa.” Izzy said as she moved to cut up some bread. Alec went to the bathroom to wash up, followed by his father. They didn’t speak, both so tired, but they had to conserve their energy. The weekly report was coming on tonight. As Alec exited the bathroom it struck him tonight the twenty-three people were being picked. His heart beat a little faster as he walked himself back to the kitchen and sat down at the small table.

“Alec?” He looked up to see his sister placing the food in front of him. “You look spaced out. Please tell me you have not been working too much.” Alec shook his head and opened his mouth to answer but their mother walked in.

“Is the food ready? Max said he wanted to try it.” Their mother seemed to have aged several years in only a few days. Izzy dished out some of the stew, more liquid than solids. Their mother took it and turned back to the hall. Their parents passed each other sharing only a quick glance.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Robert, Izzy, and Alec were the only ones to make the trek up to the main house. Maryse refused to leave her child behind and Max was in no shape to walk up.

The Herondale household was more subdued than it had been a few weeks before when the Choosing announcement was made. Dylan and Layla still sat near their favorite brother but neither were very talkative. Aaron sat against the wall with his legs drawn up to his chest. Sebastian sat beside his brother with Izzy and Alec on his other side. Robert sat in a side chair while Mr. and Mrs. Herondale shared the other side chair.

The report started. The King and Queen walked out with Magnus beside them. His suit was made of deep green velvet with gold buttons. While he did look dashing Alec didn’t have much enthusiasm in him. They would announce the Chosen and Alec would not be one of them. No Seven had ever made it to the Choosing, not once in over two hundred years. They would not start now for a male.

The announcements were made but they barely listened. His father was staring into space either in deep thought or just too tired to focus. There was nothing particularly interesting about the announcement. Nothing they had not heard before. Finally Simon Lewis took the stage with an electric blue suit jacket.

“He has interesting style choices.” Izzy commented to no one in particular.

“And now the moment that I am sure everyone in Edom is waiting for. Prince Magnus, would you join me?” The Prince moved from his throne down to where Simon stood with a handful of cards. “Now, your majesty, I am told you did peek at a few of the pictures of applicants.”

“Yes. I was only allowed a few minutes to look through a few profiles, but everyone I saw looked stunning. I would be lucky to have any of them as my spouse.” Simon chuckled and pulled up his cards.

“Alright, then let’s get this started. In no particular order let’s see who the lucky twenty-three sons and daughters of Edom will be.” The first picture that came up was a blonde woman with a dazzling smile. “Camille Belcourt, Two.” Of course. “Merlion Knight, Two.” The next picture was a dark haired man with a slight smile.

The next few came so quickly. They were all beautiful people. Two more Twos and three Threes.

“Helen Blackthorn, Three.” Another blonde but her face was softer than the first blonde. “Lydia Brandwell, Two.” They had yet to give any below a Three. They might throw a Four or Five in there for good measure but that would probably be it.

“Andrew Underhill, Four.” A picture flashed of a joyous man with blond curls. Two more Threes and then their first Five “Maureen Brown, Five.” She looked more like a child than a woman, if she was sixteen it would be a miracle. More names rolled past but Alec had lost count. They had to be coming to an end soon. Izzy reached out to take his hand and he looked at her out of his peripheral vision. She was not looking at him but she was here for him.

Two more Fives, another Four, another Three, another two Fours, another two Fives. “And last but certainly not least.” Simon said before the last photo flashed up on screen. “Alexander Lightwood, Seven.”

Idris was a wash with activity. It had only been two days since the Chosen had been announced and the Lightwood family had had many visitors. They all wanted to congratulate a Chosen son of Edom. At first Alec’s family had been surprised. When his name came up on the television along with his glowing photo, Alec had froze up. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he could ever make it.

Izzy had jumped up from the couch yelling and dancing around. This seemed to lighten the twin’s moods and they got up to dance not knowing why. Alec felt all eyes on him but his eyes were still on the TV as the Prince thanked all the Chosen and wished them safe travels to the capital. Then the national anthem played again before going to snow.

After the TV was switched off there was no sound but the girls asking why they were celebrating.

“Home.” Was the only word their father said before standing up and leaving the room. Alec and Izzy followed close behind knowing an explosion was going to happen as soon as they made the walk down to their house. Maryse was in the kitchen when they came back, pushing her soup around. She was not all that hungry but needed to keep up her strength.

“Sit.” His father’s voice was clipped and both Lightwood siblings sat down at the table.

“What is wrong, dear?” Their mother asked.

“Alec entered the Chosen.”

“And won!” Izzy snuck in before her father glared at her.

“Alexander...” His mother started with sadness in her voice.

“You entered that lottery without a thought of what it could do to your family. We are nearly destitute, Alexander.”

“I know, Father..”

“No you do not! We will lose jobs! Everyone now knows you are a deviant. You will never be able to marry a good girl...” Alec slammed his hands on the table and stood up.

“I never wanted to marry a good girl! Father, I am gay. I have known for some time.” He knew since he was young when he developed his crush on Jace. “And I did think about the family. You will get a stipend for my absence. That will more than pay for the lodging over the winter and get a doctor out here to see Max.” Both of his parents sat stunned at their eldest son. “If I had not won then we would not have had to worry. No one at the Government office has said anything.”

As he ended his speech he felt himself slightly weaken and sat down. Izzy reached across the table to take his hand but he pulled them back into his lap.

“And how long do you think you can stay?” His father asked. “Once you are thrown out you will have nothing and neither will we!”

“I will be a Three.” Alec said. “I will be able to get a better job, one where I don’t break my back and die at 40.” This caused his father to pale. Most Lightwood men only make it to 40 or 50 if they were lucky. Life was just too hard. Finally his father sat down at the table with his family.

“The damage has been done. You have made your bed, Alec, now you must lie in it.”

It was the very next day that a few local workers stopped by to bring some food for the family. The next visitors were a few businessmen from town. They talked with Robert and offered him some work for a good price. They must have told a Doctor because the very next day Dr. Hodge, the local physician, showed up to examine Max. Finally something was getting done.

-=-=-=-=-=-

On the third day a Mr. Victor Aldertree knocked upon their door at two p.m. The dark skinned man looked out of place in the Lightwood home with his beautiful three piece suit and top hat, though the man didn’t exactly look like he wanted to be there to begin with.

“May I speak with Mr. Alexander Lightwood?” The family brought the man into the kitchen and sat around the small table. Izzy was pleased to be a part of all this. Alec felt sick.

“Now, Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood, I have a few questions that need to be asked of you and of young Mr. Lightwood. Some of these questions are of a sensitive nature. I feel that it might be best if your daughter were not present.” Izzy gave an indignant sound and stormed off. Alec would fill her in later.

“Alright, Alexander, I need you to answer all these questions as truthfully as you can. If at any time we find out that you have lied you will be reprimanded and thrown out of the Choosing. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Alec nodded.

“First question, when was your last physical exam?” Alec blinked as he couldn’t remember.

“I do not remember.” They didn’t have money to go to the Doctor that often. Aldertree marked something down.

“Would you be willing to get one, paid for by the Crown.” He added.

“Yes.”

“Very good. Now sexual orientation.” Alec flushed bright red. “Would you consider yourself hetreosexual, bisexual, or homosexual?”

“Hhhomosexual.”

“Have you engaged in any sexual activity with a member of the opposite sex or the same sex?” Alec felt like his face was going to burn off from the heat of embarrassment.

“Nnno.”

“To which one?”

“Both.”

“Very good.” The man wrote something else down before moving on to less sensitive questions. By the time Aldertree was packing up Alec could feel a headache coming on.

“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood, Alexander. Someone will be in touch with you shortly about the trip to the capital and a schedule for a physical examination.” The man exited the house and put his hat back on. “Good day to you all.”

It was a Thursday when he would finally leave his family and journey to the capital. Edom City was named after the country for which they resided in and was the main headquarters of the royal family and the military. From what Alec had read about when he was younger there were buildings so high up you couldn’t tell where they stopped and the sky began.

There was not much for him to pack. His family had used most of their money on a new outfit for him. The palace would be taking over his wardrobe once he got there and most of his clothes had more holes than a beehive. He was taking only his small satchel filled with a few trinkets.

Max had given him a wooden horse that Jace had carved for him one year. “It will keep you safe.” Izzy gave him a small book that she had purchased a few years back. Alec loved to read but he had neither the time nor the books to actually read. “When you have time between kissing the Prince and talking to high society you can sit somewhere and read.” His mother had given him a handkerchief that she had embroidered his name on. “I hope you will be happy, dear.” His father, however, didn’t give him any trivial trinket. He was not a man that was sentimental. Instead he gave a few words of advice. “While I do not like this, you are the first Seven to ever be picked. Head up and chin out. Show Edom that a Seven is not as lowly and weak as they think.”

The day before Jace and Alec had sat by the river and briefly talked. Saying goodbye to his best friend was not as hard as he thought it would be, but he knew once he got to the palace he would miss Jace terribly.

“I think it's really cool you went for what you wanted, Alec.” Alec looked over at his blonde friend.

“You don’t mind me being...”

“Nope,” Jace said, shaking his head. “I kind of always knew. I don’t know, like this feeling.” Alec found himself blushing and looking away from the other. “I mean, if I was like you, I wouldn’t mind having you for a partner.” That caused Alec to blush even deeper. They didn’t say much after that, just sitting by the river listening to the water.

When they got up to leave Jace reached in his pocket and pulled out a small bracelet of colored beads.

“I had Clary make this for you. I know it's not much...but I don’t want you to forget about me.” Alec felt tears in his eyes when he pulled Jace into a tight hug.

“I could never forget you.”

The car arrived to take him to the station. Once on the train it was a straight shot to the capital but they would be making a few stops. After Idris they would be traveling through the Undying Lands, the biggest farmland in all of Edom and the richest. First stop would be Winter Vale where they would pick up Helen Blackthorn. Alec had done very little research on most of the other Chosen but since the Undying Lands were so close he looked up the three people coming from there.

Helen’s family were from level Three, being mostly lawyers and educators. She was actually going to become a lawyer when she was chosen. Now that Alec had become part of the Chosen he had ascended to the rank of a Three. Maybe he would become a teacher or librarian. He did like books and to be surrounded by them would be wonderful.

Six and Sevens attended a mediocre public school. They learned only the basics and were done by the time they were sixteen so they could get out and start working. They didn’t need much more than that. If you worked in a factory or out in the sun why would you need to know complex chemical formulas or the history of Edom before it was called that. Alec smiled slightly, he would never have to work out in the sweltering heat ever again.

After Winter Vale would be Spring Dale, where they would pick up Meliorn Knight and Annabelle Powerton, both Twos. Meliorn’s father had been drafted into the military when he was nineteen, he was already a Two so his status wouldn’t change. Apparently Merliorn did not want to follow his father into the military and the man had never held a job in his life. Being at the high end of the age range maybe he was just hoping to become the spouse of the next king of Edom. Annabelle’s father was a politician and very trusted by the people in the Undying Lands. She was a pretty girl, petite with chin length brown hair, and a tiny waist. Any one of the other Chosen from this area would be better suited for life in the royal palace.

Alec had never been on a train so when he was shown where the car the Chosen would be riding he jumped as the train started to pull out. Sitting in one of the oversized chairs he looked out as the land whipped past. Soon he would be out of Idris. The farthest he had ever been from home. After the Undying Lands was the county of Adamant Citadel, where the military trained, then on to the capitol. The trip should take around four hours, at least that was what he had been told.

There had not been any big send off for Alec. Anyone who was anyone had already wished him good luck. He had said goodbye to his family at their home. The Herondales had come to see him off and Alec’s heart ached to hug Jace goodbye. His first crush. It all seemed so long ago. Now he was on a train headed for his future, whatever that would be.

-=-=-=-=-

At their first stop Helen Blackthorn was brought on. She was a tall, thin woman with blonde hair that was pulled back from her face, and blue-green eyes. She wore a black long jacket over a tan pantsuit and tall heels that made her much taller than Alec who stood at 6’1”. She was nice but a little aloof. They spoke for a little while before their second stop.

As they pulled into the Spring Dale station, Alec could see from the train all the fanfare that the next two Chosen were getting. A man with long brown hair, half tied up, was waving and carrying flowers. He had on an all white suit that Alec wondered how he kept clean. By the time the other Chosen had got on and came back to the car Meliorn had ditched the flowers. From what Alec could see now Meliorn was not wearing a shirt, just the suit jacket.

Annabelle was walking behind him looking a slight bit mift. Oh dear, drama and they had not even got to the capital yet. Annabelle came up to Helen’s midriff, she wore a short pink lace dress and black shoes. She had a small bag on her left arm that looked no bigger than an envelope.

Meliron sat across the aisle from Alec and Helen and took out a grey box and started pressing on it. Annabelle sat next to Helen, who was across from Alec. She didn’t even look his way. Helen had been nice, but no doubt Annabelle didn’t want to associate with anyone that used to be a Seven. Sighing he turned back to the window.

After Spring Dale was miles and miles of farmland and forest. Some later they entered the Adamant Citadel countryside. No more farmland, but flat, lush greenery around small bunches of trees. They sailed through only one town. It had been a couple hours and Alec was getting tired of looking at fast moving scenery when a voice came from the ceiling.

“We will be arriving in Edom within the hour.” A jolt of excitement went through the four Chosen. Annabelle was getting out a mirror and some makeup from her tiny purse. Helen also opened her satchel to take out a mirror to make sure her hair was still in place. Meliorn was sitting up and straightening his jacket before taking a cloth and wiping down his shiny white shoes. Alec just pushed some of his hair from his face, behind his ear. Why did he need to look good anyway? Prince Magnus’ eyes would overlook him for someone like Meliorn or Annabelle.

It was not much later when Annabelle squealed and pointed out the window. Turning in his seat Alec saw the great city of Edom. There were many greyish buildings all clustered together. The sun shone brightly on the buildings and windows. It looked beautiful but so different from the county of Idris. It glimmered in the distance like a beacon. They passed the treeline right before they entered the station. From what Alec could see there were no trees or plants of any kind. Just cement and steel.

The train started to slow down as they went through some sort of tunnel. Out of the window all he could see was concrete until the tunnel opened up. Beyond the train was a bustling station with people moving too and fro. Some sat on seats and looked at the same box that Meliorn had taken out. A wall hid his view of the other patrons. When it opened up again he saw that his area was not crowded. There were only a few men in uniform waiting.

The train slowed to a stop. As the Chosen exited the train for long black cars, Alec realised how lonely and far from home he was. “Head up and chin out. Show Edom that a Seven is not as lowly and weak as they think.” Alec took a break and closed his eyes. He might have been a Seven but he had been through more than anyone else in the Chosen. Opening his eyes he stepped into the black car, his blue eyes shining with determination.

Alec rode to the palace in the back of a long black car with the rest of the Chosen. Annabelle was going a mile a minute about everything around them. Meliorn was fixing his hair for the third time and Helen was just nodding along to whatever Annabelle was saying. Alec on the other hand was just holding his breath. His last boost of confidence had left him feeling better but he still knew he was out of his element. While Helen had been nice to him, neither Annabelle nor Meliorn had spoken one word to him.

Instead of focusing on that he looked out the window at the large grey building that seemed to be spurting out of the ground below them. What struck him as odd was that there was no greenery around. No plants, trees, or shrubs. This was unlike anything Alec had ever imagined.

“Why are there no plants?” He found himself wondering out loud, then felt utterly embarrassed.

“The soil here is unusable. The country before Edom didn’t care about their land and piled waste anywhere they could.” Helen explained in a soft voice. “Now the ground can not grow as much as one weed. The royal family has been trying to reverse the effects of the toxins, but the mystics have not found a way yet.” Ah, that made sense, although it didn’t sound familiar so that must have not been something they were taught in school. History of the earth would not be high on the list if your only duties were only following the directions of your superiors. Still, it saddened him. He had never lived without greenery in his life. Even with all the work he had to do there was never a day that he didn’t get out in nature.

The palace came into view between a row of buildings. It was like the city parted for them as the road led up to Edom’s royal palace.

As soon as they got out of the car three people, two women and one man stepped up to them.

“Good day, Chosen. My name is Iris, this is Victor and Jane. We are part of the public relations department here at the palace. Each one of you signed a contract to not disclose anything that might make the royal family look bad. We know this was not an easy adjustment for some of you, but now that you reside in the castle you will make the monarchy look good. As such we are here to remind you and wish you a pleasant stay. Just through the doors you will have the chief maid and she will direct you to your rooms.” With that Lanette was done talking to them and moved to the side.

Had he signed a contract? He didn’t remember, but he was pretty sure when he had signed his name back at his home that one day he had pretty much sold his soul.

They trudged up the stairs to the large double doors which were opened for them and a woman with dark brown hair tied up in a nice updo welcomed them.

“Hello, chosen few. My name is Imogen and I am the chief of the attendants. If there is anything you need don’t hesitate to ask. Now let me introduce you to your maids.” Each Chosen got a set of maids or butlers in Meliorn and Alec’s case.

“Miss Blackthorn, these are your maids. Lucy, Aline, and Donna.” Helen curtsied to her maids, which seemed to be flustered with her movements. They must have not been curstiesed to very much. Annebelle was next and then Alec. “Mr. Lightwood, these are your attendants, Will and Jem.” The two men bowed slightly to Alec. No one had ever bowed to him him, a worthless Seven. Well he was no longer a Seven, he was now a Three, but it would take a while to get used to it.

“May we take your things?” Jem asked, his arm already stretched out. All Alec had was the bag on his back.

“I can carry my things.” Alec said nervously. The men looked at each other as if they were trying to communicate with only their eyes. The rest of the Chosen had already started to move farther into the palace. “I only have this bag.” Three sets of eyes looked at the small bag.

“Alright, Mr. Lightwood, please follow us.” Will said, motioning for Alec to follow them. Will had coloring like Alec; dark hair and blue eyes. His face however was full of more color than Alec’s pale skin. Jem had the same type of looks as the prince. Thinner eyes but warm brown irises.

They went up one set of stairs and then another. At the top of the second set of stairs they made a left down a long hallway and then another left only to turn right and then left until they were in a little alcove with a single door. Alec couldn’t help thinking he was being shut away from the rest of the Chosen. He didn’t see Helen, Annabelle, or even Meliorn.

Jem was the first to the door and opened it. Inside was a room roughly four if not five times the size of his own home. It was like a dream. Walking into the room he took in the balcony and the large four poster bed. The canopy was a soft cream color tied back with little silk ties. The bed was decked out in all manor of pillows and lush fabrics.

“Does it suit you, Mr. Lightwood?” Alec blinked and looked back at his three attendants. Suddenly he felt very small. This had been a dream less than a week ago but now being here, inside the palace he felt...wrong. A Seven didn’t belong in a palace, even if he were to work there. He would just soil the place with his filth. “Mr. Lightwood?” Alec could barely hear the name past the panic and rush in his ears.

“I’m fine.” He felt everything but fine. “May I have a moment?” The three attendants looked at each other in that same wordless communication.

“Yes, Mr. Lightwood. We will be just outside the door if you need us.” Quickly the three men disappeared leaving Alec alone in the huge, unfamiliar room. Falling to his knees Alec buried his face in his hands and cried. It was the soft, barely there cry he had felt so many times in his life when he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t belong here and by the end of the day he would be the first sent home.

It was nearly six when his attendants came back to get him. They brought in a beautiful suit of silvery grey. In the time they had left Alec the young man had cried out all his emotions, leaving him feeling numb and drained. He had splashed cool water on his face from the bathroom and at least looked more put together than he felt. He didn’t even mind the men helping him dress in the beautiful garment.

Dinner was served promptly at seven thirty. That was a little later than they ate back at home, but when you worked all day outside with only a meager sandwich for sustenance you tended to be starving after work. Dinner would be the first chance any of the Chosen would meet the Prince. It would be informal, a quick smile and hello. The next day, however, would be the make or break day.

From what he had gleaned from a bit of research was that the Prince would be expected to cut at least five members of the Chosen within the first week. King Asmodeous had cut seven girls the first day. His father, the late King Modomus had cut about the same amount and the Prince's great-grandfather had cut the competition in half by the third day.

Alec expected to be one of the few to be cut early. He was nothing like Meliorn, sleek and graceful or like that Camille woman he had seen on tv. She had the air of a princess even from just the brief smile he had seen.

“Mr. Lightwood?” A Gentle voice broke through his thoughts. In the mirror he could see Jem looking back at him as he fixed his collar.

“Yes?”

“Be yourself. Do not let them scare you.” Alec wondered what he meant but Will was interrupting them to attach silver cufflinks.

“I will be back shortly with your shoes.”

“Do I look alright?” Alec found himself wondering aloud, looking into Will’s blue eyes.

“You look breathtaking, Sir. The Prince will surely notice you first.” Alec didn’t know if the man was just placating him or he really thought a Seven could stand up to a room full of the elite. He had to remember that even his attendants were above him. Working so close to the royal family and inside the palace meant they were Sixes, yet they treated him as if he was so far above them.

Will returned them with immaculately polished shoes so shiny Alec could see his own reflection in them. Once he was completely dressed Jem showed him down to the dining room. The room was already half full of Chosen contestants. Panic gripped at Alec’s heart as he took in the variety of dresses and suits.

“Breathe, Mr. Lightwood.” Jem told him with a smile. Another servant appeared to take him to his seat. Thankfully he was seated between Helen and another woman named Maria. Maria was a talkative girl. Within a few minutes he knew she was a Four, her father owned a leather making business near the capital, she had three younger sisters and no brothers. She liked to sing but that was just a secret between them and the rest of the table. She made Alec feel so much better. A couple more people joined their table as Maria chatted up a storm. A Three from the outer county of the kingdom named Jessica, another Four named Xander, a Two from the glittering capital aptly named Duchess and last was a familiar face from the broadcast, a Four named Andrew.

Andrew was the last to take his seat at their table. He wore a sleek navy suit and tie. He looked a little flustered and apologized for being late.

“My attendants could not decide what suit to put me in.” Maria started asking about his wardrobe up until the point where a servant loudly cleared his throat and announced the royal family. All of the Chosen stood as King Asmodous and Queen Annisa came in, arm in arm followed by the Prince.

The Prince glittered like diamonds in his nearly all white suit. A few girls at another table nearby nearly swooned and even Alec felt himself flush slightly. Once the royal family had made their way to the head table the Chosen were permitted to sit. The Prince was the only one that stayed standing.

“Thank you chosen few for making the long arduous trip to our fair capital.” The Prince started, thanking them for coming. “Tomorrow I will have a chance to thank each of you in person, but for now I wish you would enjoy the selection of foods from around the country. Eat and be happy, without a care in the world. Thank you again.” With that the Prince sat down and the food was brought in.

There was so much that Alec scarcely knew what to eat first. Many of the foods he had seen on TV or for sale in Aleconte’s marketplace, but he had never had the pleasure of tasting. Most of them he didn’t even know the name of. No day old bread, porridge, watery stew to be seen.

“Helen.” He asked in a quiet whisper as Helen put some sort of fluffy white food on a plate. “What is that?” Helen just gently smiled and passed him the serving bowl.

“Potatoes.” Potatoes? He had never seen such white and creamy potatoes in his life. Taking a spoonful then passed it to Maria who was talking to Xander about the many foods from her province. After most of the food was passed around, from which Alec had taken a little bit from each, he started to eat along with the rest of his table guests.

The food seemed to melt upon his tongue. The flavors exploded across his palate and at one point he even moaned aloud at the taste. He had never seen so much food and the variety was amazing. Potatoes so fluffy and white like little clouds. Meat so tender he didn’t have to cut it, it just fell apart.

“Oh yes, you are a Seven, are you not?” Jessica asked from across the table. “I supposed this is the first time you have ever seen such food.” It was a backhanded way of calling him poor, but it was true.

“Yes and I intend to enjoy it.” He was a Seven, but he had done more in his short existence than that woman would ever do in her whole life. She may have been born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but Alec had had to work for every scrap of food he got.

“Even in my family we try to eat more meagerly.” Helen said, taking a bite of meat from the end of her fork. “My family tries to give as much spare income as we can to charity. Some of these dishes I have never seen, but they are all delicious, wouldn’t you say Maria?” That pulled Maria into the conversation which effectively ended any tirade Jessica might have. The blonde girl smiled at him and Alec felt that amongst this sea of sharks he at least had one friend for now.

After dinner came dessert. Miles and miles of pastries and sweets, things that would make his brother’s mouth water and his sister jump for joy. Sugar was so expensive, so they rarely had anything sweet. Only on the new year would they get a small toffee that Alec was sure his parents saved up for all year. He couldn’t decide on what to eat first. Helen took a slice of some sort of cake. It was red in color with white icing.

“You must try this, Alec.” She said, gesturing to her slice. “Red Velvet is my favorite cake.”

“Does it really have velvet in it?” He asked, taking a small piece with his fork. She laughed.

“No, but it is so smooth and feels like velvet.” Alec took a bite and found it entirely too sweet for his liking. The flavor was good but the amount of sugar was too much.

“Is there something not so sweet?” She smiled back and then turned to look at the selection of food.

“Excuse me.” She said calm and sweetly to one of the servers. “Do any of these have less sugar in them?” The servant looked shocked that he was being addressed but then nodded. He grabbed a plate of three dark balls of something covered in brown powder and surrounded by raspberries.

“Dark chocolate truffles, Miss.” He gave her the plate which Helen then passed to Alec.

“Dark chocolate has less sugar added to it. It makes it a bit bitter, I have never liked it, but maybe you will.” Alec nodded in appreciation. He took his folk and cut one in half. It was soft and as easy to cut as butter. Taking one piece he placed it in his mouth. It was bitter but it still had a smoothness and not too much sugar.

After he swallowed, he nodded. “It’s good.” She smiled back.

“It is also one of Prince Magnus’ favorite dishes, I believe.” Alec found himself looking back at his plate with a blush. Chancing a glaze towards the head table he could see Magnus talking with his father and mother with a truffle on the end of his fork.

After dinner the Chosen were taken back to their rooms. At least one of their attendants was there outside of the dining hall to greet them. Alec and Helen were speaking about the foods they had never had before when they heard a scoff. Turning they both saw an extremely beautiful blonde woman in a red gown, but whatever beauty she held on the outside certainly did not match her inside.

“I thought it was a joke, but they were serious about letting a Seven inside the palace.” Alec found himself looking down, it was what he had been taught. “You aren’t even fit to shine my shoes. But I suppose that is why they put you over in the west wing. No one ever goes there. Come servant.” She swept up the stairs with a maid following swiftly on her tail.

“And that would be Camille.” Helen said. “She may have been the queen bitch back home but I am sure Magnus will see right through her.” Alec hoped she was right.

Back in his room Alec had to convince his attendants that he didn’t need their help getting dressed for bed. He could do all that himself.

“We are here to serve you, Mr. Lightwood.” Will said calmly.

“I don’t need servants!” He yelled so fed up with everything. “Look, you are Sixes and I am a Seven. We can do things on our own.”

“You are now a Three, Mr. Lightwood.” Jem spoke up.

“Please call me Alec!” He was just so tired and worn out from everything. “Please, just leave me.” The men nodded at him and left. Looking in the mirror of his vanity he saw the poor level Seven boy that tilled land and feld trees dressed up like something he was not. He didn’t belong here. He didn’t belong in this suit. Jessica and Camille were right. He would be gone by tomorrow morning.

The longer he stared the quicker his breathing came. Standing up he took off his jacket, tearing the cufflinks from their spots on the jacket. He pulled at the tie and unbuttoned the shirt. He still couldn’t breathe. Running to the window he tried to open it but found it bolted shut. He needed air, he needed freedom.

Out the window he could see a vast garden. The soil might be toxic around the city but it seemed that the royal family had their very own piece of paradise. Gasping he turned from the window, ripped open the door and ran as fast as his feet could take him. He found the grand staircase and nearly jumped down all of the steps to get to the first floor. Looking around he saw that to the left of him was a large doorway open to the night air and to the garden.

Making a break for it he didn’t even hear the guards telling him he needed to go back to his room. All he saw was air and grass and trees bathed in moonlight. He did feel one of the guards grabbing him none too gently.

“Sir, you need to get back to your room.”

“No, I need….please!” He felt like the world was spinning.

“Sir!”

“Let him be.” Came a voice from beyond the doorway.

“But your Majesty.”

“I said let him be.” The guard let Alec go and he stumbled before running head long outside into the cool night air. There was a distant smell of exhaust that he had first caught at the train station, but for the most part it was clean, fresh air. He fell to the ground putting his hands in the earth, feeling the grass move as he shifted. His toes dug into the cool dirt. By him was a rose bush and farther out were rows of yellow flowers. He had stopped hyperventilating and panicking, breathing in the floral scents all around him.

“Do you feel better?” Alec whipped his head around at the voice. Not two feet away was the Crown Prince. He was no longer in his white suit but some sort of leisurely button up and grey slacks. Maybe to the Prince this would be dressing down but to a Seven it looked just as fancy as the suit had.

Dropping his eyes he nodded. “Yes, your Majesty.” Then the Prince did the most unbelievable thing. He sat in the grass next to Alec. The dark haired man felt his jaw drop. Did the Crown Prince of Edom just sit on grass next to a common Seven?

“You are Alexander, are you not?” Alec must have looked like a fish out of water before he pulled himself together and sat fully on the grass. This would probably stain his suit, crap, he had forgotten about that.

“Yes, your Majesty. Most people call me Alec.”

“I see. Well then, Alec, you may call me Magnus. At least while we are alone.” Alec felt a blush on his face as he looked away. It was dark and there was no other light besides the moon. The light from the door was too far away to illuminate anything.

“I couldn’t. You are the Prince.”

“And you are one of the Chosen. That makes you something special as well.” Alec was flushing again.

“Thank you for talking to the guards. I know I should not be out here.” Magnus waved that off.

“You needed to come out here. I saw your face and heard your voice. You were panicking.” Alec was ashamed that the Prince had seen him like that. He would surely be sent off in the morning. “There is nothing to be ashamed of.” Magnus said as if reading his mind. “It happens to many people. Even I have felt it.” Alec looked back at the prince.

“How...you always look so calm.”

“I am for the most part, but there are times I am overwhelmed and need a break.” That did not sound like the Prince Alec had seen on the television all his life. Magnus had looked like nothing would phaze him, even at seven when he was finally presented to the people.

“Well thank you. I did need this.” Being stuffed inside a building for most of the day and almost, well actually it had been too much.

“Tell me, Alexander, how are you feeling about being here in the capital?” Looking back up at Magnus he studied the man but he gave nothing away. What answer was he looking for?

“It is an honor to be here, your Maj-”

“Magnus.” The Prince cut in.

“You called me Alexander.” The Prince chuckled and nodded.

“I did, but your name is much too special and beautiful to be shortened to some mere nickname.” Again Magnus was making the dark haired younger man blush.

“Well, it is an honor. I never knew Edom was so vast.” He had seen a map of the kingdom at school but that had been years ago.

“And being in the castle?” Now that was a little harder to comment on. He was a minnow in a sea of bigger fish. What was even harder was that he didn’t have his family’s support here. “Is there...anything a miss?” Magnus sounded a little lost.

“No. It is just...so different to my home, that is all.” He remembered what Camille had said.

“Your Highness. It is time to come in.” A guard called from the doorway. It was getting late. Standing up Magnus reached out a hand to help Alec up. The instant their hands touched it was as if a shock went through their bodies that left them both looking down at their hands.

“Thank you for letting me come out here, Magnus.” Finally they pulled their hands apart.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this. I am not supposed to meet with the Chosen, formally, until tomorrow. Besides, I want this just to be between you and I.” Magnus stepped closer to him and Alec felt his heart beating fast.

“Your Highness!” Magnus actually growled at the guard’s insistence.

“Coming!”

Back in his room Alec stripped out of his soiled clothes and folded them neatly. He would have tried to get the stains out but he was not sure the beautiful suit could take the scrubbing needed to take the stains out. But, as he slipped into bed after a short shower the thought about his meeting with the Prince and a smile crossed his face. Even if he was sent home in the morning he would have the memory of meeting the Prince and touching his soft hand.

Jem was not happy with the stains but he would help Alec to keep his secret of sneaking out to the garden. However, Alec had not told him about meeting the Prince. That was solely a memory just for him.

After he had been woken up, early the next morning he was dressed in a day suit. It was not as fancy and intricate as the suit from the night before. It was a light grey with a light blue shirt and no tie. Will had explained to him as they dressed the young man that the royal family always dressed up for dinner. That sounded so unpleasant. What if you spilled food on your priceless clothes?

“Today the Prince will be cutting some of the Chosen.” Will said as he stepped back looking at the shirt. “Take off your jacket, please. Jem, get me the medium blue shirt with the subtle diamond print.” Alec quickly took off the jacket and unbuttoned the shirt.

“Does it not look good?” He asked. It was probably just that Alec looked horrible in the color. His mother had said that wearing blue would only draw attention to his eyes. A Seven was not to be seen nor heard from. They were just supposed to do their job.

“It does not make your eyes pop. On second thought, get the violet shirt.” He called out to Jem. “Purple will make your eyes pop. We have to make you stand out.” Stand out, meaning he had to catch the Prince’s attention. After the previous night he was sure that would not happen. Maybe Magnus would let him at least have breakfast before he sent him packing.

Giving the blue shirt to Jem, he took the purple one. It was a beautiful color. Buttoning it up he slipped the jacket back on.

“Yes, that is it.” Will said.

“You are so good at matching.” Jem complimented his friend.

“An artform that I have cultivated over years of working with the royal family.” The three men chuckled for a moment before helping Alec finish up.

The Chosen were gathered in a salon off the great hall. When Alec arrived there were only a couple of people. Two men and one woman. Each one looked beautiful in their day outfits. The woman, who had red hair, was wearing an emerald day dress. The sleeves were short and off the shoulder. Her hair was done in waves and curls that made it looked like a waterfall. Both of the men were in day suits. One was a cream color with a bright red shirt. This man had slightly longer hair. It was gathered loosely at the nape of his neck and curled slightly. The second man had a dark grey suit and blush pink shirt. The front of his dark hair was combed back into a high curl over the rest of his hair.

As the other Chosen started to appear Alec took in all their clothes. Each one was dressed better than the one that came before them. Alec felt very plain in his grey suit. His hair had not even been fixed like other men. It was allowed to go in its tousled state. The only part that was taimed was his darn cowlick.

“Alec!” Helen came walking over to him with a gentle smile on her face. Her blond hair was tied up with a few tendrils framing her face. Her light blue day dress looked wonderful on her slim figure. Annabelle was behind Helen in a long buttercup yellow dress. Her hair was down but curled.

“Helen, Annabelle. It is good to see you.” Not so much Annabelle but Helen was a welcome sight in this sea of strangers. "I like your hair." Helen smiled with a little flush.

"Aline did it. Isn't it pretty?" She turned around so Alec could see the back. Her hair was twisted in braids. There were little gems stuck in parts of her hair.

"Aline?" He didn't remember anyone by that name.

"One of her maids." Annabelle added.

“You look great, Alec. That purple makes your eyes stand out.” Helen said quickly to change the subject. At least Will would be happy.

“Thank you.” He flushed a bit. “I was not sure...everyone else looks so much grander.”

“Nonsense.” Helen brushed off. “You look just as handsome as the rest of the men. Right, Annabelle?” The blonde turned to her companion, who just nodded. Alec gave her a small smile. At least she didn’t tear him down.

“Move!” The three of them looked up to see Camille walking in. Her bright red dress was skin tight and backless. Apparently she didn’t get the memo that this was breakfast and not a ball.

“Ugh, you’re still here.” The woman turned up her nose at the sight of Alec. “At least your outfit is as boring as you. Better for me to stand out.” Helen was the one to step up this time.

“Yeah, because I heard Prince Magnus really loves stuck up bitches.” A hush went over the room. No one spoke or even breathed. But Helen was not backing down. She was not afraid of this spoiled child.

“Why you-”

“Breakfast is ready.” Rang out a servant’s voice, telling them it was time for them to move from the sitting room to the dining hall.

Breakfast was pretty much like the night before. The Chosen were seated around tables in front of the main table. The royal family would then enter, while the Chosen stood, and then bid the rest of them to sit. Next came the food. Even more wondrous than the night before.

There were fruits, tarts, breads, bacon, eggs, fried potatoes, anything anyone could want. Alec again tried a bit of everything. This was a far cry from his usual meal of porridge and maybe stale bread. If only he could pack up some of this food and send it to his family.

“Ladies and gentleman.” Once the meal was over Magnus stood up and spoke to the Chosen. “I have decided to kick off this Choosing with some one on one time. Each one of you will meet with me. I will be able to get a better sense of you. For now I would like Miss Hannah Whitman to stay. The rest of you please adjourn to the sitting room and wait for our meeting.”

A woman to the right of Alec's table, in a light green day dress, was the only one that continued to stay seated while the rest of the Chosen stood up and left the room. They were taken back to the sitting room where they had waited before. Most of the Chosen started to gossip about meeting the Prince, one on one. A few girls even giggled and squealed.

Alec on the other hand was not that excited. He was sure Magnus would tell him that he would be leaving within the hour. A strong man like the Prince didn’t need a spouse that had a panic attack over something as silly as not feeling the earth beneath their feet. Although, the idea of Magnus ending up with someone like Camille irked him. Said wolf in sheep’s clothing was sitting with a couple other girls as Camille told them loudly how she would win the Prince over.

As if.

Slowly the group of twenty-three men and women started to shrink as they were called to talk to the Prince. Annabelle and Helen had already been called when Alec was finally summoned. He had been talking to Andy, a Four from a county far from Idris, about the farming they were missing. Andy’s family might have been Fours but they were poor and could not afford extra help.

“Alexander Lightwood.” Both men turned their heads. By now only a few Chosen were left.

“Good luck.” Andy smiled at him and it felt genuine. Other than Helen, everyone else was out for blood. They wanted to be the spouse to the most powerful man in the land. Yet in the sea of man eating fish Alec had happened to find two good people.

Alec was taken to a side room just down from the sitting room. Inside was a small table and two chairs. Magnus beamed brightly when he saw Alec.

“Please, have a seat, Mr. Lightwood.” He said formally as he stood up. Alec nodded and sat in the seat across from him. When the servant finally left Magnus seemed to relax.

“How was the rest of your evening? No more panic attacks I presume?” Alec shook his head.

“No, your Majesty.”

“Magnus, remember?” Alec flushed and nodded. “I am glad to hear that, Alec. The last thing I would want is for you to feel overwhelmed and I was not there to help.”

“Thank you again...Magnus. It was very kind of you.”

“Any true man would have done it.” But they both knew that was a lie. While Alec might be a Three on paper he still had the stench of Seven on him. Magnus was a good man and he would be a great King. A kind King that loved all his subjects. “We talked about what you like here at the castle, but what of your family? Do you miss them?”

“Yes.” He said at once. Alec missed playing with Max on the rare breaks from work. He missed gossiping with Izzy and imagining a life away from all the hard work. He missed the warmth of his mother’s hugs and the gruff voice of his father as complained about the crops. He also missed Jace… He loved the man with all his heart but being here made that love seem different somehow.

“They must be a wonderful bunch.” Alec blinked as he was pulled from his thoughts.

“What?”

“The emotions that went through your eyes. You miss them very much. Please tell me about them.” It seemed that was all Alec needed as he started to describe his family.

He spent the most time talking about his sister and brother. Just talking about them made him feel home sick. He missed them a lot. While he missed his parents too he missed his partners in crime more.

“I wish I could share the food I have enjoyed with my family. It might even help Max. My little brother is always getting sick. I hope the money being sent to him means that he could go to a Doctor for once.”

“What do you mean ‘for once’?” Magnus looked confused.

“Your- Magnus, I am Seven or I was. I have not been to the Doctor since I was a baby.” The only time he was seen was just after his birth. His parents had to save up the money for their first born. They wanted to know their child was healthy.

“You don’t have money for Doctors?”

“Or medicine.” Magnus looked floored. “You don’t know what Sevens go through, do you?”

“I didn’t know...is it like this everywhere?”

“Most Sixes and Sevens barely have enough money to live. Fives are not much better, but they do get more pay for their art.” The raven haired Prince was leaning back in his chair and looking hard at the table.

“My people can barely live yet I have never wanted for anything.” Silence filled the room. Alec felt bad at being the one that showed Magnus the truth.

“Magnus-” But he was interrupted with a hand held up. Finally Magnus looked back up at him.

“You are amazing, Alexander. I have only known you for less than a day but I am sure I would love to learn more.” Leaning forward the Prince took one of Alec’s hands. “Be my prince, my future husband.” Now it was Alec’s turn to look floored.

No. Magnus did not just say that. He did not just ask a Seven to marry him. No. Alec had used all his luck just getting here. There was no way Prince Magnus Bane wanted lowly Alec Lightwood.

“You must have others to see.” Alec pulled his hand back and stood up so quickly he nearly turned the table over.

“I don’t care about them. I only want to know you.” Magnus also stood up. Thankfully the door was right behind Alec. Turning he rushed to the door before Magnus’ voice stopped him. “I will wait for however long you need.” With that Alec opened the door and closed it behind him before rushing back to his room.

He was dreaming, he had to be.

It had been almost a week since Magnus had proposed. For the first couple days Magnus would try to win over the scared younger man, but every time Alec would change to the subject. It was a joke, it had to be. Soon Magnus would get tired and choose someone that would actually be a good spouse. They went from seeing each other everyday to once in a while.

At dinner after their first official meeting Helen had told him that Magnus had cut the group down to only fifteen people. Of course Camille and Meliorn were a part of that group. Either one of them would be a better Queen or Prince Consort than Alec.

The next day the smaller group started etiquette lessons. Thank whatever Gods there were out there that they were split into two groups. Males and females, each one having their own etiquette teacher. The seven men left were given their lessons by one of the King’s royal advisers, Lord Lorenzo Rey. The man was also one of the few mystics employed by the Kingdom.

The man was intolerable. Everytime Alec misstepped or made a faux pas the man was quick to correct him, loudly and somewhat cruelly. It was as if Alec was being singled out. Even Andy did just as bad a job as he did and yet the mystic kindly corrected him. To say the least Alec’s life was turning into a living hell.

Camille took every chance she could to tear Alec down. Most of the words he ignored until the bitch started to talk bad about his family.

“If only the Kingdom had a way to get rid of Sixes and Sevens. The Kingdom would be less polluted with worthless rabble.” Alec immediately stood up and walked out of the room. Later when Jem and Will found him Alec had been crying, his eyes red. They both helped him back to his room and got a cool cloth for his puffy eyes.

Soon things went from bad to worse. While the first couple days Magnus had little mini dates with Alec, usually to the garden or the library, he had been choosing others. Each time he was in the sitting room with the rest of the Chosen and one of the other men or women were Chosen he could feel himself die a little inside.

He tried to tell himself that Magnus was quickly realizing how bad of a choice Alec would be. He tried to hide it from everyone, which worked for the most part, but it seemed that Helen, Will, and Jem could read him too well. Helen tried to pull Alec into little card games she played with Annabelle, Andy, and a few others. She pulled Alec’s mind away from the Choosing and onto something fun. Once Alec went home, aside from Magnus, Helen would be one of the people he would actually miss.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Alec was wandering around the halls of the palace. It was raining outside and Magnus was on a date with one of the Chosen. He couldn’t escape to the one place he felt safe in this foreign land. Turning the corner he found Andy on the floor, knees nearly up to his chest and his hands in his hair. It almost looked like a panic attack but he was not breathing hard.

“Andy?” The curly haired man’s head went up and he was surprised to see someone had found him. “Are you alright?” The man sighs and nodded but then shook his head.

“I don’t know.” He said. Alec walked over and sat on the floor near him. “Do you ever feel...like you don’t belong here?” Andy asked. “I don’t know why I was kept here. I have nothing to give the Prince. Our dates feel...mechanical. Like he is just going through the motions.”

“I am sure it is not that bad.” Alec tried to comfort his friend. He was not as close to Andy as he was with Helen, but he still understood the feeling of not knowing why he was still here.

“Yet I don’t want to go home.” He said under his breath, which Alec could barely hear. “I don’t understand why you haven’t been on more dates with him. All he talks about is you.” Alec felt himself turning red.

“I think you misheard.” Andy chuckled.

“I didn’t, Alec. The Prince holds you in high regard. I don’t mind, like I said, I don’t feel anything between us.” Alec’s head was spinning, Magnus talked about him on his dates with other Chosen?

“What does he...say?”

“He talks about how kind and caring you are. About how much you care for your family. He also talks a great deal about changing...” Andy looked around to make sure no one was near before leaning in. “About changing the level system.” A couple times Magnus had talked to him over the past week he had said something about the levels and how he hated it. Magnus must have done more research on the caste system in Edom. He was a smart man, it was only a matter of time before he learned the truth.

“It would be nice...but I don’t think it would happen. Some people would not be happy.” Mainly the Twos and some of the Threes, the upper class.

“It would be...I always dreamed of working for the people. Being a politician of some kind...” Andy shrugged. “I’m a Three now so I suppose I could teach.” That has been Alec’s plan too.

“To be honest, I never had a dream of what I would be. I knew I would work in the fields like my dad and granddad. Now I have a chance to think about it and I still don’t know.”

“We have all the time in the world, Alec. We can now have further education if we wish. We will find our place in this world. Me as a teacher and you as the future Prince Consort.” Alec flushed and tried to back track and talk his way out of here only for Andy to laugh at him and get up.

“Thank you, Alec. Just for being here and listening to me. There are not many people I can vent to.”

“My pleasure, Andy.” Alec got up with the help of the other man. “Now let’s find something to do before we both die of boredom.” Both men laughed and headed off to the sitting room to see if there was a card game already going on.

It was the day before the national broadcast when Magnus finally called upon Alec. They would have a picnic the next afternoon. The rest of the day Alec spent his time with Will trying to pick out the perfect outfit that was not too casual but not something he would regret getting stains on.

“Personally, Mr. Alec, I believe the cream shirt and the tan trousers are the way to go.” It had taken Alec nearly a week to get Jem and Will to call him Alec, although they both still preferred to use “Mr.” along with his given name.

“What about grass stains?” Alec worried about making even one little stain on his new clothes. They were so nice and expensive. It felt wrong to treat them with such disrespect.

“I am sure the Prince will have a blanket for the two of you. You should not worry, besides Jem knows how to get stains out of clothes.” The dark haired servant looked over to his friend.

“I do, but I prefer not to scrub too hard. Though, I agree with Will. The cream shirt and tan trousers are the best.”

That was how Alec found himself the next afternoon. Will had rolled the sleeves up on the shirt and left the first two buttons open. Alec was thankful his chest hair was thin and sparse or it might show with how low the shirt was. Well it was low for Alec.

“Alexander.” Alec turned to see Magnus walking toward him. The man was breathtaking in his simple outfit. He had on light grey trousers, khaki shoes and a muted dark teal shirt. It was all tailored specifically to him, as if painted on his body.

“Your Highness.” Alec bowed slightly.

“Come, I want to show you something.” Magnus held his arm out for Alec. The dark haired man flushed, but took the arm. They walked out into the warm sunny day. “I want to show you the maze. My great grandmother had it installed to honor the gardens of her youth.”

“Maze? As in...we could get lost?” Magnus chuckled.

“I could get to the center and out of the maze blindfolded. I have been playing in this garden since I was a child. Do not worry, you will soon know your way around the garden.” Magnus took them into the maze. After a few twists and turns a bit of backtracking they found themselves in the middle of the maze. There was a water fountain with a marble mermaid atop a marble shell.

“Beautiful.” In front of the fountain was a checkered blanket and a picnic basket. “Magnus...this is too much.” Magnus shook his head.

“This is what you deserve. All this and more.” They sat down on the blanket and took off their shoes. In the basket were several little treats. Mini sandwiches, bite sized tarts, a variety of fruits and cheese, along with two bottles of something dark.

“Magnus, what is this?” Alec asked as he picked one up.

“Soda. It is a fizzy drink from the old Kingdom. My great uncle found a recipe and tinkered with it until he got it to his liking. It's rare because it takes so much effort.” A fizzy drink? What was a fizzy drink? Magnus took the bottle from Alec’s hand and a small metal object and popped off the mental top. It made a sound and bubbles rose to the surface. Giving it back to Alec he warned that the bubbles might feel like they burned the first time he tried it.

They did. The first sip felt hot but it was not painful, just strange.

“Thank you for sharing this with me.” Magnus smiled and picked up a fruit.

“You are welcome.” They continued to eat for a little bit longer before Magnus spoke again.

“I want to share a lot more with you, Alexander. Like my future.” Alec flushed and looked away.

“I am not right for...”

“Me? The Kingdom? No, you are perfect. You care about the people that no one else does. You have been through so much and yet you are not bitter. You do not hate me for what my family has done.”

“Magnus, your family has not done anything.”

“Maybe not this generation but back in time they made your family Sevens based on how much money you had. That was not right, Alec. This system is not right.” Magnus sat back. “I knew it was not right but I also didn’t know how to change it so I tried to block it out and worry about what I could control. Then you come here and open my eyes to people like you, my people. The people that I swore to look after, yet they toil to death with no one to turn to. A family should not have to choose between food and healing their child. It is unacceptable.” Magnus was not wrong. Life as a Seven was hard. Alec knew this. It took such a toll on his father that they might only have a few years left with the man before he joined his own father in the ground. Izzy deserved more, Max and his mother deserved more. They all deserved the right not to worry.

“I am a Seven. You should marry a Two or a Three.”

“The spoiled children of the elite? Then I would only perpetuate the cycle further. I do not want my child to think it is their right to lord their position over the people. The Bane family is here to serve the people, not the other way around.”

“I don’t know how to be royal.”

“Then I will help you. I will be by your side, along with Will and Jem.” Alec looked at him. He knew his servants by name? “They used to be my servants. When they were dolling out servants for the Chosen, I had Will and Jem assigned to you.” Moving closer he took Alec’s hand. “The Choosing is not as random as most think. Only about a third are random. Most are hand picked by their profiles. I was allowed to look at the profiles and choose two. Looking through the profiles I saw your bright smile. You looked so happy. You were my only choice. I wanted to get to know you from the moment I saw you. I had Will and Jem placed as your attendants because I trust them with my life.” Magnus ended his little speech with a kiss.

The press of lips against his made Alec relax into Magnus. It just seemed so impossible that someone like Prince Magnus wanted him just from a single picture. His class had meant nothing. A warm hand cupped the back of his head as Magnus opened his mouth. Alec was not sure what to do so he just followed Magnus’ lead. His first kiss was in the most special of places.

“Prince Magnus! Your Majesty!” The call from the guards caused the two to pull apart. They could not see anyone but that didn’t stop Alec from turning his usual shade of red.

“I never can have a moment's rest.” Magnus said with a sigh. His hand had slid from Alec’s head down to hand. “Yes!?” Magnus yelled back.

“Your father needs you.”

“Can it wait?”

“I am sorry, but it can not.” Magnus sighed again. “I finally get you all to myself and it is cut short.”

“It’s alright.” Alec brushed off.

“No, it is not.”

“Your Majesty?”

“I am coming!” This was the first time Alec had heard the Prince snap at anyone. “Apologies.” Magnus looked sheepish as he stood up. Putting his hand out he helped the other up. Pulling Alec close to him, Magnus kissed Alec once more. “Until tonight, Alexander.” With that Magnus navigated them back out of the maze.

They split at the grand staircase as Magnus traveled down a side hall that led to the King’s office. Alec stayed at the bottom of the stairs for a moment just looking off into the distance. For a moment he could see himself at Magnus’ side. He could see the man that Magnus would become. A smile crossed his face as he started up the stairs. He needed to talk to Will about his outfit for the broadcast that night. He wanted to stand out and shine, for once in his life he wanted to be the center of attention.

Unfortunately Alec had not been looking where he was going, and his mind was still focused on Magnus. His foot landed on the third from the top step when he felt a hand at his shoulder. Starting to look up, Alec noticed he was falling backwards. His arms circled in the air as he tried to right himself but it was too late. He felt his head hit one of the stairs before flipping backwards. When he finally stopped at the bottom of the stairs he looked up only to see something pink move too fast for his disoriented eyes to catch. Pain and sickness washed over him. Rolling to the side he threw up what little he had eaten before passing out.

Magnus walked as quickly he could without running. The day had been perfect with Alec. His sweet innocent boy had tasted as sweet as the tarts they had eaten. Magnus had wished they could have kissed for longer. Maybe he could have kissed other places to see what reaction they gave. Unfortunately his father had called for him.

There were problems brewing in one of the southern lands. Ever since her husband had died Lady Lilith had taken more control of Talto. The province might have been small but it was an important one. Not only did it have the biggest depostest of adamas, the metal needed for the Edom Military weapons, it was also the border between Edom and their enemy. If Diyu was able to capture Talto it would be disastrous, but Lilith didn’t seem to care much. The woman was leaving the mines barely guarded.

After the talk with his father they would send down a couple mystics to make sure the mines were protected by magic and if need be, remove Lilith from power. Once back in his room Magnus’ attendants started to dress him. They were not as good as Will and Jem, but he trusted them. The suit they had picked out for tonight was deep royal blue in color. The stark white shirt made his skin pop. He thought about Alec and smiled. After the broadcast he would get Alec alone to propose again.

Reaching into his side table he found the Bane family signet ring. Once this was placed on Alec’s finger he would be known as his intended fiance. By the end of the night, if Alec said yes, Magnus would be sending everyone else home.

There was a tap at the door. A servant peered in and told him it was nearly time. Thanking the man, Magnus straightened his suit coat before leaving.

He should have known something was wrong when he entered with his mother and father and he could not spot Alec with the other Chosen. What had happened? The broadcast had already started and the young man was nowhere to be seen. Magnus tried to keep his panic down as Simon, the master of ceremonies, asked him a few questions.

“You cut down the Chosen to only a chosen few, pardon the pun.” Simon chuckled. “But just between us,” His voice went lower but he still held the microphone close. “Is there anyone that stands out?” Magnus smiled slightly.

“There is, but I do not want to talk too much about them at this moment. I am still trying to win them over.” Simon chuckled again.

“You are the Prince, you could win over anyone in this kingdom.”

“Maybe, but this person is special.” Simon tried to get more out of him, but Magnus gave nothing away. The broadcast soon ended. Once the cameras were turned off the Chosen started to gossip but Magnus couldn’t hear anything as he went to his father.

“Alexander Lightwood was not among the Chosen tonight. What happened?”

His mother looked grim as he took his hand. “The boy fell down the stairs this afternoon. Your father didn’t want you to know until after the broadcast.” Magnus shot his father a seething look. The Kingdom always came first, even at the price of love. Turning from his parents Magnus strode out of the room.

Alec had been taken to the infirmary. He had been found not long after his tumble. He had been out for hours when Magnus finally came to see him. Jem and Will were by his side. The two men looked pale. They cared too much sometimes. That was why he had sent them to be attendants of Alec’s. They would help him in this strange world.

Magnus found the medic on duty and asked about Alec’s condition. “He has a suspected concussion, but we will not be able to make sure until he wakes up. His left wrist is sprained, but thankfully not broken. He must have landed on it as it was under him when he was found. He also has three bruised ribs.” Alec was very lucky. But how did Alec fall down the stairs? Not that it was impossible, it just didn’t sound right.

“When will he wake up?” The medic shrugged.

“We were hoping he would wake up within a couple hours. If he does not wake up even a little within the next 24 hours he might never.” Magnus grabbed onto the doorframe to keep himself up. No. He would not lose Alec so easily. Alec was a fighter.

“Thank you.” He said before slowly walking to Alec’s bed. Jem vacated the seat next to the bed for Magnus. “Thank you for staying with him.” The men nodded. Will looked as if he had been crying not too long ago. His eyes were slightly red.

“I don’t think he fell on his own.” Jem said, his voice low. Magnus looked up at the man. Their mothers had come from the same province so they had similar looks. Jem had sharp, angled eyes. Magnus’ were not as angled because of his father’s rounder eyes. They had met when they were still children. Instantly, Magnus had been drawn to the boy that he had called brother at times. Magnus never had any siblings so Jem was the closest thing he had to one. Unfortunately as they grew up Jem was put to work in the castle just like his parents before him. Yet Magnus never treated him any differently. Jem was still his little brother.

“I was thinking the same.” Magnus voiced. “He was happy when I left him.” Leaning over he took Alec’s hand in his. It was still warm even though it was limp.

“Alec is not well liked by all the Chosen. Some believe he should have never been chosen in the first place.”

“Then there was that altercation with Ms. Belcourt.” Will piped in. “I found him in his room crying once. He didn’t tell me why, but I am sure the woman was the cause.” Magnus nodded. It was all hearsay. They would have to wait until Alec woke up to know for sure. “Tell the medic I will be staying with him tonight.”

“But your majesty...Magnus,” Jem whispered his name. It had been beaten into him at a young age he could not call the man by his name. He was just a servant and Magnus was royalty. The Prince still hated that he could not do anything to have stopped that. “You have so much to do tomorrow.”

“They can all wait. I am not leaving him until he awakes. Let my father be furious, I don’t care.”

-=-=-=-=-

Elsewhere in the castle two other lovers were about to take a forbidden step.

Andy was placing down his journal when he heard a small knock on his door before it opened. The night had been a whirlwind. Alec had never shown up to the broadcast and the young man had seen the Prince’s eyes looking for someone that was not there. It was painfully obvious to Andy that the Prince and Alec were meant to be, if only Alec would just let himself accept it.

It was so late at night that Andy’s attendants had already gone to bed. It had taken a lot to get the men to leave him at night. He didn’t need someone at his every beck and call through the night. He could get a drink or use the bathroom without needing help. It was ridiculous, but he also had another reason for shooing the men away.

In the mirror of his vanity he could clearly see Lorenzo as he closed and locked the door behind him. The blonde’s breath sped up. Lorenzo always had this effect on him, even when they first met. “Lord Rey, what do I owe the pleasure of your company so late at night?” A smile spread out across Lorenzo’s face.

“Must I spell it out for you?” He snapped his fingers and the lights lowered. It hid the blush that crawled over the blonde’s fair skin. The man walked slowly up behind him. Andy turned his head slightly for the mystic to grace his neck with a gentle kiss. A shiver went down his spine.

If they were caught they would both be sentenced to life as eights for treason. For Lorenzo it might even be worse. He might lose his life, but neither of them cared at this moment. In all the craze of Prince Magnus trying to find his mate, two unlikely men had happened upon their own love story.

Gentle hands ran up Andy’s sides and under his sleep shirt after Andy stood up.

“Lorenzo.” He breathed out. They had touched before, it had been brief but the feeling had lingered for hours after the man had left Andy’s room.

“I love when you say my name like that. Like a prayer from the mouth of an angel.” Gentle lips touched his neck again.

“Someone had been spending too much time with his tomes.” The blonde finally turned around in the man’s grasp to plant a deep kiss on the lush lips of the mystic. All he wanted to do was be with Lorenzo, only Lorenzo.

“I speak only the truth.” The older man said with another snap of his fingers. This left them both naked, bodies intertwined. Andy moaned and tried to kiss him again but the other man twisted them around and pushed him back on the bed. “Are you sure, Andrew? After...there is no going back.” Andy nodded. He knew what he meant and he didn’t care.

“I know Magnus loves Alec but Alec does not know if he wants to be Prince Consort. I will not be Chosen. When I go back home after this I want to at least have the memory of this night.” There would be no way that Lorenzo could ask for Andy’s hand. Mystics were not supposed to marry outside of their station, it kept the pool of magic from growing into the general population. Only mystics and the royal family could have magical powers. Even if they never planned to have children it was still forbidden.

“Then you shall have anything you want.” Leaning down they pressed their bodies together again, kissing and touching.

“Please don’t tease.” Andy whispered against his lips. He was already too wound up. He needed Lorenzo to do something. Suddenly slick fingers were gently pressing against his hole. How the man did magic was one of the things Andy liked about him. Magic amazed him, but Lorenzo enraptured him.

He whimpered against the other’s lips as fingers pushed into him. “Lor...enzo...” He whispered.

“Slowly, my love. I will not hurt you in my haste.” Leaning up Lorenzo got on his knees between the other’s legs as his slick fingers kept thrusting gently into him. “In all my years...I have never seen something more beautiful.” Andy slapped his arm with a giggle before it changed into a moan as the mystic pressed something inside him.

“If you don’t...get inside me now...I might come...” With a chuckle Lorenzo leaned down and nibbled at his ear.

“Go ahead, my angel. It will not be the last orgasm you experience tonight.” The press of his finger against the spot was too much for Andy. Lorenzo covered his mouth with his to smother the cries as he felt over the edge. Lorenzo was correct. It was not the last time he came that night.

It was the middle of the night when Alec finally woke up. His head ached and his vision was blurred. At first he just laid there and didn’t move. He could not remember what had happened. The bed did not feel familiar. It was soft but nothing like his bed at the palace. Then again it was not the cold hard mattress of his home. Finally as he woke up more he noticed there was something warm near his arm. Slowly turning his head he saw a dark figure slumped over in a chair near his bed. Blinking, he recognized that it was Magnus. The Prince was slumped in a chair, his hand next to Alec’s. His mind was slowly trying to process what was going on. Why was Magnus here when he had a nice bed in his own chambers?

Moving slightly was enough to wake the Prince up. His eyes looked around before they landed on Alec.

“Thank god. You finally woke up.” Reaching forward Magnus cupped Alec’ cheek. “I was so worried.”

“W-why are you here?” Alec’s voice was deep and thick as he tried to speak. How long had he been out?

“Where else would I be?” Magnus asked, confused.

“Your bed.” That made the Prince chuckle.

“A bed would be better, but while you are here, this is where I will be.” Magnus took Alec’s hand and pulled it up to lay a kiss on the knuckles. “I love you, Alexander. I think I have since that night in the garden.”

Alec flushed and looked away. “Why would you want to marry a Seven?”

“Because I would be marrying the one I love. I don’t care about your number or station in this world. I only care about you, about Alec Lightwood.” Alec turned his head back and smiled.

“I think...I think I love you too.”

-=-=-=-=-=-

After Alec had woken up and they had time to talk, Magnus fetched the medic. The medic looked over Alec and confirmed that he had probably had a concussion but he seemed to be doing well. His side and wrist still hurt so the medic suggested Alec stayed for one or two more nights. Medicine and bindings would help. Begrudgingly Alec agreed.

Even though Magnus wanted to stay with him he was called away shortly before breakfast. The Prince still had to make an appearance. He promised to return later and left his love with a kiss. This left Alec alone with his own mind. What had happened the night before? He remembered the wonderful picnic and the kiss they had shared, but the rest was foggy. The only thing he did know was he didn’t fall on his own volition.

Thankfully it was not much longer before Helen came to visit him and brought a treat from breakfast. He was not terribly hungry, but he thanked her nonetheless.

“The Prince told us you fell yesterday and are recuperating, but I don’t think you fell. I think you were pushed.” She said after asking how he was.

“I don’t remember. The medic tells me my memory of that event might never come back.” Alec rubbed his temple. It had been hurting ever since he started trying to remember.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to press you.” She said concerned.

“Don’t worry. My temple has been hurting since I woke up. Must be the leftover concussion.” He placed a hand over the other’s. “Please don’t worry about me. You need to focus on you. Didn’t you have a date with the Prince today?” Helen just looked at him in amazement. The boy was absolutely blind.

“The Prince will not be choosing me, I know this. He is just waiting on you.” Alec flushed a bright red.

“Mag- the Prince deserves...more.” He had to catch himself from not calling Magnus by his name.

“He deserves to be happy and so do you.” She said, squeezing his hand.

“What about you? You deserve happiness.” Sighing, she nodded. “Do you have someone at home?” Most chosen that might have had a romantic partner back home had broken it off with the chance to be crowned king.

“No. There is no one at home that holds my heart.”

-=-=-=-=-=-

~*Earlier that morning*~

Helen sat in her seat at the vanity that seemed to be in every Chosen’s room. Her maid, Aline stood behind her braiding her hair. Breakfast was soon and Helen needed to hurry, but she didn’t want to. It was only in moments like this that she truly felt happy. Helen had grown up in a very forward thinking family, but even they would not approved of their daughter favoring the fairer sex. Thankfully Helen found herself attracted to both genders.

However everything had changed when she came to the palace. She had been given three maids, like the other female Chosen, while the male Chosen were only given two attendants. Among her maids was Aline. She was a pretty and spunky girl of only seventeen. That made her two years younger than Helen and closer to her brother Mark’s age.

“Your hair is so pretty and light.” Aline had commented the first time she brushed Helen’s hair.

“It becomes very frizzy if I don’t put product in it.”

“Better than my thick, dense hair.” Aline had beautiful hair. It was long and jet black, but like all the maids she kept it tied up in a bun under a small hat.

“Is there something wrong, Helen?” The darker haired woman’s voice broke through Helen’s thoughts.

“No...why do you ask?”

“You look a bit sad.” Her time in the Chosen was coming to a close. She knew that. It was only a matter of time before Alec said yes to Magnus. Then Helen would have to leave. She did hope Alec was alright. He had not shown up to the broadcast the night before and that worried her.

“I do not wish to leave you.” Helen said, looking at Aline’s dark eyes in the mirror. They had become friends so fast that when they started to fall for each other they didn’t even notice until that one kiss. The kiss they had shared two days ago. The kiss that changed everything. It might have been easier to leave a friend but to leave a love? But even if magic could help men conceive it would not help two women.

“You will not leave for long. Mr. Lightwood cares for you. I am sure he would have you visit often.” It was a weak excuse but Aline was used to disappointments in her life. Her father had left her and her mother when Aline was just a child to run off with some other woman. Her mother tried to support them as well as she could but in the end it was too much for her. Even as sickness took hold of her, Jia Penhallow was still able to find work for her daughter in the palace before her passing. It was a prestigious job indeed, one that any Six would kill to have. Now Aline had found someone that she cared for as much as she had her beloved mother.

“I wish I was not a part of the Chosen.” Helen said, grief in her voice. Then she would not have to make such a choice to leave. Moving around the chair, Aline knelt beside Helen.

“If you had not I would never have met you. That would have been the greatest tragedy.” She took the other’s hands in hers. “My mother once said that people come into our lives for a reason. We might not know why or for how long, but we are better for having them with us.”

“Aline, you are too wonderful for the life you have.” The dark haired woman shrugged.

“I am content where I am and I intend to enjoy what time we have left together.” Leaning up, Aline pressed a quick kiss to Helen’s lips. “Now let me finish with your hair. You can not go to breakfast with a braid half done.” They both chuckled before hugging each other.

“You mean the world to me, Aline.”

Alec was finally allowed to go back to his room two days after his accident. His ribs were doing fine and his wrist barely ached, as long as he didn't move it too fast. All in all he was feeling much better. It didn’t hurt that Magnus had visited him quite a few times. Alec knew he should not be feeling this way, Magnus needed someone that was Prince Consort material, but he could not deny that he had been imagining their life together.

Once back in his room, Jem and Will were very attentive. They had Alec stay in bed and not move, even though it was his wrist that got sprained, not his legs. Still Alec did as was asked of him. He let the two cater to him. It was nice to have been missed. Most people of higher class levels would not have cared if the ‘help’ missed them. But Alec was different. Will and Jem were different. Alec could see why Magnus trusted them so.

Towards the evening there was a knock on the door. It was just after dinner and Alec had eaten in his room. Tomorrow he would go back out and meet the rest of the Chosen again. He was scared of what might happen but he was going to hold his head up high. Whoever had caused this was not going to get the satisfaction of keeping him down. Will opened the door to find Magnus there, a small white box in hand.

"Will, it is good to see you again. You too, Jem." Magnus smiled as he walked in.

"It is nice to see you again, Sire. Under better circumstances this time." Magnus nodded to that. Smiling, he turned to Alec who was laying in his bed with a couple books around him.

"How are you, Alexander? I see Will and Jem have made you stay in bed so they could make sure you didn't get hurt again."

"I let them." Alec said, but they all knew the truth.

"I wonder if I might have a little bit of your time. Would you mind, Will? Jem?" Neither man said anything to the contrary. The attendants knew what might happen but they also knew that in the end Alec would become the Prince Consort. They were made for each other.

Quickly the attendants bid them both good night before leaving.

“What is in that box?” Alec asked, finding himself eager to see.

“Chocolate truffles. A little bird told me you fancied my favorite sweet treat.” Magnus came over to the bed and sat down before handing over the box. There were four dark brown powder covered balls of chocolate.

“I was not used to eating something so sweet. This was the right amount of sweet for me.” Magnus brushed his hand through Alec’s hair.

“Was sugar something else you never had?”

“Not never, but usually baked into something or used in jam.” Alec took one of the small balls and bit into it. The powdered chocolate landed on his bedding and he got scared. “I didn’t mean to.” Uncultured.

“Do not worry, my dear.” Magnus plucked one up and popped it whole into his mouth. “It can be cleaned.” Alec ate the rest of the truffle. Suddenly Magnus’ face changed. He looked...serious? Maybe even a bit...determined? Leaning in Magnus wiped a bit of chocolate from the side of Alec’s mouth. Then his lips descended upon Alec’s.

It was similar but also different from the kiss before. It made his body tingle in all the right ways. Magnus had been his first kiss and he couldn’t imagine anyone else. He tried to chase the man’s lips when the Prince pulled back.

“I do not wish to injure you farther.” He whispered. Alec licked his lips, still tasting the chocolate that could have come from either of their lips.

“I like kissing you.” Alec admitted.

“Oh my dear, sweet Alexander. There is more I want to do to you than just kiss.” Alec found himself blushing down onto his neck. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt that out.” Magnus started to pull back from the other, but Alec grabbed his arm.

“I know we shouldn’t...but...I may never get this chance again.” Then the Prince laughed so hard that it made Alec jump.

“My dear, my love. I do not plan on spending the rest of my life with anyone but you.”

“Magnus-” The Prince placed his finger to Alec’s lips.

“I will be there every step of the way. Jem and Will can also be of help. Alexander, please, make me the happiest man that ever lived and marry me?” The darker haired man was silent for a long while. Could it just be that easy? Magnus deserved more, but even as he thought that he could not stand another person having Magnus. “I will wait for as long as I need to.”

“Jem was telling me earlier that you cut the Chosen down again. There are now just five.”

“Yes. It is unfair to them to get their hopes up. Not when my heart is not mine to give anymore. I know you are fond of Helen and Andy so I kept them around.” Alec smiled. At least he would be able to say goodbye to them.

“Who else?”

“Meliorn Knight and Camille Belcourt. They are the favorites of my father.” Something pink moved too fast for his disoriented eyes to catch Alec rubbed at his temple.

“Alexander, are you alright?”

“I am a horrible choice, but...” He stopped Magnus with his hand. “To be away from you might be a fate worse than death. You must promise me that you will always be with me. I need your strength and guidance.”

“Yes, always. I will be there for you, always.”

“And one more thing. If you choose...later on to take another to your heart-”

“There will never be another, Alexander. You will be the only one I need.” They both smiled before Magnus leaned back in for a kiss. “You didn’t answer me, darling.” Magnus whispered against his lips.

Alec laughed and then nodded. “Yes, Magnus. I will marry you.” Magnus smiled as he pressed a kiss to Alec’s lips.

It was supposed to be slow but neither of them could hold back their pasion. Not now, not after they had declared their love for each other. Magnus helped Alec back on the bed and pulled his covers back before climbing on top of him. Alec flushed and tried to look away, but Magnus cupped Alec’s face.

“I do not wish to go all the way. I do want to save that for your wedding night. However, there is something I have been dying to see.” One hand left Alec’s cheek and traveled down his neck and chest, catching on a nipple that made Alec gasp.

“What?” He finally asked as Magnus’ hand moved closer to the hem of his nightshirt.

“The look of pure pleasure.” Magnus' hand slipped between cloth and skin before wrapping around Alec’s nearly half hard cock. He gasped and arched only to wince. His ribs still hurt.

“I am sorry, my love.” Leaning down he kissed Alec as his hand started to move. This way he could keep Alec from arching up again. Alec was lost in the current of pleasure. He had never really touched himself before. He never had time living with his family. He had attempted once or twice when he bathed, but he felt too guilty to continue. What a fool he was.

“Magnus...” He breathed when Magnus pulled back to give them air. Reaching down he pushed Alec’s pants down slightly, enough to uncover his cock. Alec made the mistake of looking down and only groaned. The head was starting to leak and Magnus’ hand looked so good around him.

“That is the picture that has been playing in my dirty mind since I first met you.” Magnus kissed his cheek. “Even better than I thought.”

“Magnus...” Magnus pressed a thumb to the slit of the head. Alec’s eyes rolled back in his head, briefly.

“Let go, my love.” Magnus kissed along his neck as his hand started to move faster. Any chance Alec had at lasting a while longer flew out the window. The intense pleasure was too much.

"Magnus!" This time the Prince’s name was said like benediction instead of a plea. His vision whited out for a moment as his pleasure cascaded over his whole body. He felt it everywhere, even in his toes.

When Alec came back to himself a moment later he noticed Magnus was rubbing his lower half against Alec’s leg, his head in the crook of his neck, until he suddenly stopped and let out a quiet, strangled noise. At that moment he knew that Magnus had just reached his peak.

Hot, quick breath was the only sound he heard and felt against his neck for a moment. Then Magnus turned his head and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, my love. For sharing in the first of many firsts with me." Alec smiled.

"I can't wait for more."

Magnus stayed for a little while, cleaning them up before Alec finally fell asleep. He kissed Alec and got up out of bed. As much as he wanted to sleep beside the dark haired man, he had something else he needed to do. With a quick trip back to his room to change, Magnus was headed down stairs.

Magnus knocked on the door to his father’s study. While he had asked Alec to marry him, now three times, he still had not told his father. Asmodeus didn’t have the last say in his choice, but that didn’t mean that he would not try to influence it. The man loved his son but he also saw what the politicians wanted.

“Come in.” Magnus opened the door and walked in. It was late at night but his father, the King, was sitting at his desk reading over some royal doctrine. Magnus never understood how his father didn’t get a headache from all the reading. After two hours Magnus needed a break while his father could continue for an hour or so more.

“Father, I have made my choice.” Asmodeus looked up from his papers before sitting them down.

“Have you? That is very quick. You just culled them yesterday.” Magnus came over and sat in the chair directly in front of his father.

“I choose Alexander Lightwood.” He noticed the twitch of his father’s brown. The King did not approve.

“Why him? If you wish to marry a man then why not Mr. Meliorn Knight? His father was once a great general. There is also Ms. Camile Bellcourt.” She had been Asmodeus’ top pick because of her father. A top politician would influence a lot of people. As much as the Morgenstern betrayal still hurt, Asmodeus was practical. They needed more support.

“Why did you pick a mere painter?” Magnus countered. “One with a history of fertility problems?” Magnus’ own mother had been a wonderful painter, which she still did, but being one of only two Fives in the choosing meant she was the odd man out. Yet she survived until the last five girls. With her Choosing she became the next Queen of Edom, but her family history was not what the crown needed.

Asmodeus had been the only son of four children. Each one of his sisters had been married off to secure alliances, however, being the only son Asmodeus was expected to marry well and have an heir and maybe even a spare. Yet he married Annisa Sari who was an only child herself. Her mother had given birth to two stillborns before Annisa and then passed with the birth of her fourth and the child followed not long after.

Asomdeus sat back in his chair and gave a small chuckle. “Because I loved her. I didn’t care about her background, all I wanted was for her to be beside me for all our lives.”

“I only want what you wanted, father. I want the love of my life to be beside me.”

“Has he said yes?”

“Yes. He fears the life of a Prince Consort, but he does want to be with me. I just need to give him the ring”

“Then I give my permission. I always assumed you were more your mother’s child. You show her gentle and thoughtful nature, yet you take decisions head long. You weigh the options and take the one that speaks to you. You will be a great king someday, my son.”

“Thank you father, but there is one last thing I would like to speak with you about.”

A special TV broadcast was arranged for the next night. Magnus did not want to wait until the following Friday to put a ring on Alec’s finger. He wanted it now. However, he had to find the person that caused Alec’s fall first.

Who would want to kill a Chosen and in such a public area like the grand staircase. Someone should have seen it. The obvious answer was another Chosen. Now the question was, did they cause it themselves or pay someone? Magnus didn’t even pretend to know all the servants in the palace but he felt like he knew a good lot of them. Rumors flew around quickly among the servants so Magnus enlisted the help of Jem and Will.

It would take some time so Magnus went to see Alec and spend a little time with him.

“Your highness.” Magnus had not even noticed that he was not alone in the hall anymore. Ms. Camille Belcourt had just come out of a side room. She curtsied for him, a little deeper than need be but he was pretty sure the woman was trying to show off the plunge of her neck line. Camille was a beautiful woman, but she was not what Magnus wanted in a spouse.

She cared only for material things. On one of the few dates they had she had spent the entire time talking about the parties that she had at her home. How lavish they were and offering to show him around her city. While Magnus had grown up to be Prince his family was not as posh as it looked. Personal family meals were not taken in full dressed attire, that was only for show.

His father liked her because of her father. Reginald Belcourt was a well known politician in Little Paris, one of the largest cities on the east side of Edom.

“Hello, Ms. Belcourt.”

“Oh, you can call me, Camille.” She said walking closer to him. “We have not had a date in a while. I hope that is not an indication that you are bored with me.” The woman pouted, but it was just too much.

Will had said that Alec had an argument with Camille. Could she be the type of person to try and kill the competition? Maybe. He was about to find out. Putting out his arm for her the woman took it as they started to walk.

“I have called a special broadcast for this evening.” Magnus started as Camille looked startled.

“Why? I will not have enough time to get ready.” She actually looked worried.

“I intend to announce my engagement to one of the Chosen.” This caused Camille to nearly misstep. He wondered what was going through her mind right at that moment. She probably thought it was her.

“Then I need to pick out a dress.” She started to pull away but Magnus stopped her.

“Why?”

“Well if I will be on TV tonight I need to look my best.”

“Only my fiance will be on the stage with me.” She smiled, a sickening sweet smile reserved for a simple child that did not understand.

“Oh course, Prince Magnus, but my dress-”

“I will not be asking for your hand.” She stopped dead in her tracks.

“WHAT?!” The beautiful woman beside him let out a screech like he had never heard before. “Who would be a better queen than I?! We are made for each other!” Magnus finally pulled his arm away.

“No. No we are not.” Then out of nowhere the woman slapped him across the face, her long nails leaving redden marks on his cheek. Reaching up Magnus touched his cheek, but thankfully there was no blood.

“Ms. Belcourt, you hit the Prince. That was not a very bright idea.” His voice was calm and measured.

“I am supposed to be the Queen!” Then she must have thought better of herself. “I do not know what came over me. Apologies, your highness.” But the apology fell on deaf ears. “I just don’t want all my training to go to waste.”

“Training that did nothing but make you an evil jealous creature that would dare to try and kill another Chosen and then strike the Prince of Edom. Guards!” Magnus yelled.

“Did that little stoot brush tell you I pushed him down the stairs? He wouldn’t know class if it came up and slapped him across his dirty face.” Magnus was seeing red. He knew the little terms that higher levels called the lower ones. His mother had talked about them. Fives were painted prints or song stealers, depending on the type of artist they were. Sixes were rags and Sevens were stoot brushes. Thankfully the guards appeared at that moment.

“Take Ms. Belcourt to her room so she can pack.”

“No! Magnus, please. We belong together!”

“My dear, unlike the man I want to marry, you belong in the cold palace you came from. Away with her.” The guards dragged Camille kicking and screaming from the hall. He was positive that she was the one that tried to kill Alec. Even if he couldn't prove it he at least got her out of the palace.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Alec stood behind the curtains. His stomach was in knots from the nerves. Any moment the curtains would be pulled back and he would be presented as the fiance to the future king. It was almost too much. His hands traveled down his blue suit as if trying to straighten any imaginary wrinkles. Something caught the light and he looked down at the ring on his finger. Not an hour ago Magnus had gotten down on one knee and asked Alec to be his Prince Consort.

Magnus looked a bit flustered when he came to Alec’s room. Will and Jem were finishing up on his suit for that night’s special broadcast. Alec turned to look at Magnus and noticed two red marks on his right cheek.

“Magnus, what happened?”

“Just getting rid of a nuisance.” Magnus waved off and then walked over to Alec. He placed a kiss on the man’s lips as the attendants quietly made their way out of the room to give them time. “I love you, Alexander Lightwood.” The Prince said as he pulled back from the kiss. Alec was so dizzy from the kiss that he barely followed. Then Magnus knelt on one knee.

“Oh my god.” Alec found himself breathing as the Prince pulled out a small box with the Bane family seal.

“At the end of each Choosing, the Prince in question would give the family signet ring to his chosen spouse in front of everyone.” Magnus started. “But you are a private person who does not want others to look upon him. So here, in your rooms I want to ask you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, to be my Prince. Be the one that makes me strive to be a better person. Help me teach our future children that levels do not matter, what matters is what is found inside a person. Be the one I grow old with, be my everything.” Alec was crying by this time. He couldn’t even say yes through the tears but he did nod. That was all Magnus needed. He pushed the ring onto Alec’s finger before standing up and pulling him into another slow, passion filled kiss.

“Welcome honored guests to a special broadcast!” Simon Lewis’s voice broke through his thoughts and brought him back to the present. Just remembering how thoughtful Magnus was to make that moment just about them gave him enough strength to stand still. “Now, a little birdie told me, Prince Magnus, that you have a surprise for us.”

“Yes.” Magnus said, his voice calm and smooth. Alec smiled. “I do have a wonderful surprise. People of Edom, my people, I have come to the decision as to whom I will be marrying. It had been a fast and whirlwind romance, one for the books I am sure. The moment I met this person I fell for them. They were so raw and open with me and I couldn’t see a day without them in my life, but they needed some convincing.”

“You did say that before. Who is this wonderful person that has captured the heart of our marvelous Prince?” Simon asked. He was sure everyone was wanting to know, but as usual Magnus was building up the suspense.

“This person never expected to be picked for the Chosen in the first place. They never thought they could have what they wanted because of their level.” A hush went over the few people in the audience for the broadcast. They were mostly journalists that wanted the first taste of a story. “That is also something that I wish to talk to my people about. These levels, the ones that have kept all of you in place, will soon be ending.” Suddenly the journalists gasped and tried to ask questions before they were hushed. “That plan is in motion, but I am sure you are all wanting to know who I choose.”

The curtain opened and Alec stepped out. He didn’t look like a level Seven boy from a small town. There was no dirt under his nails or bruises from hard work. No, he looked like a Prince Consort and for the first time he felt like something special. Magnus stood from his seat and walked over to Alec as flashes of lights went off. Taking Alec’s hand he pressed a kiss to his hand.

“This is my chosen. Alexander Lightwood. Formerly a Seven and one of the best men I have had the pleasure to meet.” With that, the Prince of Edom leaned in to kiss his Prince.

And they lived happily ever after.

The End.

#shmb2021 #malec discord server #fanfic #malec #shadowhunters #royal au #au non magic #reyhill #heline

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havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong · 3 years

Text

An Interlude — Me, ‘Yourself,’ I

Two Masters pick up another ‘them.’

Many other ‘them’ — of times and Masters long gone, each filling each other’s roles in stories meant to be the same.

Like a play filled with understudies, where the choice in lead actor changed everything —

...Then, what to do about that?

<Pt. 1/???>

featuring story from @hasbbdoneanythingwrong + @hasquetzdoneanythingwrong

"...It's you."

A being from his dreams, a being beyond rational description.

A Singularity had appeared, hadn't it? One only recently, showing its face, a remnant of what should've been destroyed.

The coward believed such a thing was the only cause of a being haunting his dreams. A shapeless, formless, yet all-encompassing, formed being, that threatened to vanish from his sight and take him over, simultaneously.

And its words, too-

▓▒░▓▓▄▀▌▌▐█▒

Made no sense.

No, nothing the being said would mean a thing to the cowardly Master, and yet it made sense all the same. Two opposite extremes, filling him not with the words it spoke, but the emotion those unspeakable tongues filled in his mind.

"...I don't understand. I... I don't get it at all."

No, so much 'strange' had occurred, in a matter of mere days. A Servant had spoken of a world not unlike his own, another Chaldea, and another Master. Then, replaced soon after, by a Quetz who spoke of it only as a faint dream, barely recalled, but fondly looked back on.

And mere days afterwards, this thing -- that which now sought to fill him with unending fear, and discomfort, as it held itself within him, seeking to spread itself within his mind like a comforting, but foreign virus to the human conscious.

╟╧╜╚╕╘╧╨╪╬╗

...His heart, suffocating under the mass of the 'it,' that threatened to encompass his entire being, envelop it into itself--

...Yet, its words made its way to his mind, before the cowardly Master forced himself to wake with a bite to his finger.

Y o u a r e n o t a l o n e . S e e k T H E M .

...The being, so foreign, spoke now as if the Master himself were speaking to 'him' in a mirror.

...The seeping, crawling feeling faded in an instant, as the familiar 'My lord!' awoke him from his slumber.

With Da Vinci fussing over something in the other room, surely preparing to announce the time of their Rayshift, the cowardly Master made a beeline for somewhere -- someone -- he knew would help.

"Oh, hell no."

Ritsuka had spent a solid five or six seconds just laughing incredulously, before their eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to speak.

"--I'd heard it from... something. Ritsuka, we already know they exist, and... We need to know what they're up to. If they're allies, we need to get their aid, and..."

"It's not that."

Ritsuka interrupted my speech by placing a finger over my mouth. Breathing out, they placed their index finger on their temple, as if trying to formulate what they were to say next.

"Thing is, Cadence, we have a serious problem with time stuff right now. We already have a sudden Singularity that's just happened, despite our best efforts, and your first idea is to go check other timelines? And off the advice of a weird thing that appeared in your dreams after the Singularity was formed, no less!"

Ritsuka breathed a long, drawn out sigh out, as I took the opportunity to get a word in.

"This time stuff is something we can take advantage of, especially because we've just achieved a sort of contact with it. Remember Quetzacoatl? She was acting as if she were in a different Chaldea entirely, for the day we summoned her, until her Spirit Origin 'shifted.' All things considered, we need to check up on that."

Placing a finger to my neck to calm myself, lightly scratching its side, Ritsuka waited a moment before responding.

"...Listen, if you're right, we can't do this willy-nilly. You know full well how dangerous this is. But..."

...Ritsuka shook their head, raising their hand in what I could only assume was the brief consideration of punching themselves in the face.

"...You're not the type to take stupid risks. The fact you're not avoiding this like the plague says to me that you've got something in mind. After all these things we've seen up to now... I can't believe I'm saying this, but I guess we'll have to look at even more time shit."

...The Master laughed, in disbelief, before turning on their heel and beginning to move south.

"...I think, if anyone's going to know about this, it's going to be a certain Moon Cancer."

"--You're not seriously thinking of going to her for advice, right?!"

"Less advice, Cadence, more a way to figure out what the hell has been happening outside our little bubble. I doubt we'll be able to see everything, but even just a little bit will do. It'll tell us who our allies might be if we end up forced to one of their worlds."

Ritsuka raised their hands over their head, stretching themselves out and yawning loudly to get out the slight ache of sleeping on a Chaldea bed.

"...Or, if a Singularity forces us into contact with them," he continued with an awkward laugh, "we need to figure out who won't kill us on sight."

...Turning a corner of Chaldea's hallways, he'd knock upon a very certain door -- greeted by a purple-haired lady, smiling wide, with a gaze best described as a mixture between intimidating, venomous, yet also fairly innocent for the moment. "Why, if it isn't my favourite senpais. What brings you here so soon? Ritsuka, you usually at least wait 'til noon to try out some BB slots."

The lady took her seat on her bed, resting her chin on her right hand and raising an eyebrow -- turning an ear to the two of us.

"No slots today, sadly. BB -- I'd like you to help us understand other people."

"...Other people? Senpai, you're not exactly lacking in the social department. Although, C--"

"--Not like that," I quickly clarified, if only to save my own pride. "We're looking to understand people from... different Chaldeas, if that makes any sense."

...At that, BB's eyes widened, if only for a moment -- then smiled, with a sort of distinct softness, before it returned to its usual mischievous aura.

"Is that so..? You're sure about this, right, Senpai~? Surely you wouldn't wish to be jealous of Masters better off than you two."

Before I could respond -- frozen just for a moment at hearing that -- Ritsuka piped up in my place.

"Yeah, we're alright with that. At day's end, we want to see other people like us. What they've done, and... If they'd be allies for us, should we somehow meet."

...The mischievous lady only nodded, before placing a floating screen just in front of them.

"If that's the case, I have no choice but to show you all the other Senpais out there! ♥"

...And, mere moments after -- our first sight showed its face.

"--You vermin should know that I am the only one who can hurt my centipede!"

An annoying voice, marked with an angered 'sigh' that would've made most anyone's hairs raise on end.

Yet, to the Master they now saw, such a voice could bring only the brightest of smiles. Two beings of seeming opposites, giving each other a knowing glance before a wave of confidence enveloped them both.

With the casual smile only a devil could muster, the Moon-Cancer made short, easy work of the mere beasts in their way. The icy wasteland, seeping away at the Master's bones, did little to harm the sense of warmth that seemed to envelop them both.

"Now, now, Quin," the lady spoke with a chuckle, "don't get too happy yet~! There's a cave to hang out in not too far away -- we can talk there!"

Quin -- That was the Master's name. A spare glance at their BB's face told them all they reckoned they had to know -- in place of her devilish grin, remained a mischievous -- yet warm, glowing smile.

The moment they fled into an otherwise dark, empty cave, Quin collapsed to tears -- perhaps in part of fears that could only come from traversing a Lostbelt alone, but seemingly mostly of relief.

"How... H-How did you get here..?!"

Through sobs, the Master spoke, as the Moon-Cancer only smiled, and laughed, crouching down beside her Master.

"Quinny, I'm hurt~! You should know by now that I can pretty much do whatever I want."

Neither Master observing the event could truly understand the pain she went through just to reappear at the side of her Master -- but Ritsuka, sparing a glance to look at the BB that manifested there, saw teary eyes, and a soft smile.

...The face of someone who had almost certainly been through hell.

Cadence focused upon the Master themselves, finding himself awed. A Master who, despite all that remained against her, found herself with allies that wouldn't so easily give up and leave her. A Master who, though almost assuredly afraid, still stood up and kept pushing forward. And a Master who stayed with the Moon-Cancer who seemed as if she was her exact opposite, as both impacted each other permanently.

"...That was Quin, senpais~!"

Spending a moment holding a hand to her eyes, BB soon returned to her usual self -- Ritsuka only smiled, but didn't elaborate on it any further.

"...That was..."

...She seemed to be a good person. A 'hero' -- even allied with someone considered evil, she...

...She was a hero. In her own right, she was a hero -- even if she were afraid, she still pushed forward, and fought with the bravery of a hero.

"...Well, we probably have one ally, Cadence.”

Ritsuka smiled a bit, as if to ease me of something I'd not realized I had, before returning to the Moon-Cancer.

"What's our next sight, then?"

To that, the Servant only winked, before another screen enveloped their sights.

"...Hey."

A black-haired man, narrowed eyes at two writers not far in front of him.

No time for grief, for there was still something to do. The eyes of a man who had a plan -- even if far out, one he would place his faith in.

Those eyes -- sharpened, fire sprouting within that pupil of his -- were eyes of sheer determination.

"If you can turn fantasy into reality, how about we pull a Moriarty on me?"

A sentence truly outside the realm of 'reality' -- one that caused Cadence to recoil in shock. Yet, the cowardly Master still found himself leaned in to listen, as the other Master beside him smiled and nodded to themselves.

Mash, turning to face the black-haired Master, raised her eyebrows in some form of confusion.

"--Huh..? Senpai, what are you talking about?"

"Moriarty has that gun from that one German story. If the authors here can do something similar to help me, then..."

...The Master spent a moment in thought, but it certainly wasn't one spent in hesitation. No -- both observing Masters knew the look well.

It was one of focus, and of finalizing their plan. It brought back memories of Reines, of Chen Gong, and of El-Melloi.

"...That doesn't sound outside the realm of possibility."

The taller author -- Murasaki, at a closer glance -- spent a few seconds staring upwards in thought before replying. The smaller author, surely Hans, stared at his colleague and Master with a mixture of incredulity -- and, just as much, curiosity.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Let me see if I can find what I'm looking for."

To this, the Master flicked his fingers delicately from a row of comic books situated carefully on a shelf, up until he pulled a certain issue out, as if it were made for this very moment.

"--This! This, here."

Opening the comic to a specific page, as if he'd done this a thousand times before, he placed his finger upon one panel in specific -- a planet made of dark ooze, its inhabitants slimy parasitic creatures.

A middle-of-the-road author, almost assuredly Shakespeare, took a close look, and smirked, as the Master elaborated.

"Symbiotes. From Marvel."

As the determined Master watched the author's expressions, Shakespeare decided -- as usual -- to be among the first to speak.

"Interesting."

...Hans, meanwhile, twisted his face into a frown.

"...I'm not sure how I feel, adapting a modern work like this."

"Just do it. I'll be able to save her with those powers."

The Master only furrowed his brow, his voice taking on a slight firmness to it. Andersen picked up on that tone of voice -- one of someone who had already weighed their options, and one that had already decided their fate. The author silenced himself for the time -- at times like this, even he recognized that he had to put his author's code to rest.

"Senpai... Is this really a good idea?"

Mash spoke carefully, placing her words best to try and ensure her friend had thought it through. She had faith in his idea, the observing Masters could tell, but it was certainly best to avoid acting rashly.

"...I need to save her, Mash."

The Master, certainly, had already made his decision. As he elaborated, Mash's concerned expression shifted to a soft smile -- assured that, at least, he was sure of this action. If he held faith it’d work, then she felt she could as well.

"I hate being without her. And I want to skewer the fools who took her away."

...Murasaki, at that, only nodded.

"I can see the pain he's feeling. We... should help."

...At his fellow authors' words, Hans raised his hands up, and grinned awkwardly.

"Fine, we'll turn you into an alien monster. But it likely won't stick when this Singularity's fixed."

"So long as I get my wife back, I'm fine with it."

The gaze of the Master said it all -- he would stop at nothing to find, and save, someone he loved.

Suddenly, to the two observing Masters -- the sheer determination of this Master, even as he requested a possibly dangerous procedure, now only made sense.

...He, too, had something to protect.

The Moon-Cancer smiled, for a moment, before closing her screen.

"That, Senpai, was Rex. A Master who managed to tame even a lady like Quetzacoatl~!" Ritsuka gazed back at me, the look in his eye saying it all.

"...That was his Quetzacoatl?!"

Of course, his incredulous statement immediately after solidified things -- as, giving it some thought, I'd realized myself what had happened.

"...Well, now I feel a bit bad, summoning Quetzacoatl like that. Probably should've used a catalyst that wasn't a T. Rex plushie."

As Ritsuka casually said something that made even BB perform a double take, my mind fell a little bit -- as I tried to make heads or tails of that Master.

'...That man... Despite a situation so grim that he had to alter his own body, and add a Phantasmal Spirit to its structure... He didn't look fearful at all.'

No -- it wasn't fearlessness. That was sheer grit, made only stronger by what was on the line. His sharp tone, the fire in his eyes, wasn't from foolish aggression or rashness -- it was from a man whose life and love were all on the line. A man who knew how bad the situation could get, and one that could swallow their fear and fight for the sake of someone they loved.

'...No wonder she was so insistent on finding him.'

The horrible taste of jealousy caught in my throat -- my eyes closed, seeing only that fiery gaze.

...That was bravery.

...My eyes flipped between screen after screen -- Rex' fiery gaze, and his risky yet high-reward plan just to save his lover. Quin's emotional strength in the heat of the moment, holding out and fighting long enough to find safety, being such a kind Master that even one like BB would cherish her.

'...Compared to them...'

...That jealousy, that surrounded my neck, tightening it and stealing my breath away. Envy at their strength, where I had lacked it.

Those -- were heroes. Those were the people that would surely save their 'Chaldea.'

...Certainly, I knew my own weaknesses -- but it only became clearer, where I stood.

"...Cadence, I think he's an ally. Whaddya think?"

But the jealousy cleared itself from my neck as Ritsuka shouldered me lightly, and as a hand formed itself upon my shoulder. Silent though it was, I knew that grip as well as the back of my hand.

"...He's no Genji."

...An approving voice -- Ushiwakamaru, doffing her mask and blindfold and sitting just beside me.

"...He fights our fight. An enemy of the Genji is a friend of mine."

...That jealousy wouldn't so easily leave me -- but I only allowed my mind, for a moment, to recognize my own strengths.

Even if I paled in comparison to these two heroes, I still had something.

"...I think he's an ally, too, Ritsuka. Maybe a little blunt, but... I've only ever seen a gaze like that in you."

The Master beside me scoffed.

"Are you kiddin' me, chief? I don't think I've seen anyone so determined to help someone. And seeing as how you're showing us that, BB, I assume he succeeded."

"Correct~! Both of these two are just as alive as you are. And, y'know, this isn't the end of our marathon."

...Ritsuka raised an eyebrow.

"Jeez, just how many saviours of humanity are there? I find it hard to believe so many Earths got the crap end of the stick."

"You'd know if you counted to infinity, senpai~! I'm only showing you the ones you'll probably meet. I snuck a little charm into that Quetz' pocket, you see, and now you're linked~!"

...

"What."

Ritsuka took approximately five seconds before responding.

"It was just a bit of stomach medication. A little baggie I gave her. I don't even think she knows it's there."

...

"What."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding~! Maybe."

...As me, and Ritsuka, found ourselves completely sidetracked by what was best described as 'the worst thing we've heard in centuries,' BB clapped her hands together and began pulling up a few more screens.

"I call a little intermission~! All three of you, get some treats and come back later. I promise you'll love the next ones."

...

An ever-shining light, bypassing such simple screens, watched 'them' in their many, many seats.

Them who threatened to suffocate and take over 'them,' 'him,' but who satisfied themselves watching the production of Life.

The rakugo theatre intrigued them all -- as a lone 'it,' playing the parts of them all, laughed and dropped another punchline to the tale. Surely, a dramatic, comical, saddening, heartmelting, uplifting 'rakugo' --

...As the actors raised their hands to follow suit, and drive the coward into the next act of his performance, 'it' held up its fan and its cloth, waving the acting Masters to their next story -- to the next ochi.

▄▀▄██▌▌░█▓╨╨╜╓═

The ever-shining light laughs, and cries, and screams, and smiles gently.

The performance has only just begun.

#fgo #gudasona #mastersona #l o r e #cadenceloreposting #feat. quin and rex #also more foreshadowing because i love implying shit

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frenchy-and-the-sea · 3 years

Text

Gift Fic - Of a Hand’s Span

It’s officially over two months past due, so idk if I can call this a birthday gift, but I bludgeoned my way through a serious case of writer’s block for the very lovely @thereluctantinquisitor anyway! I realized too late that this might read as a bit of a rehash of the birthday fic you wrote me Kay, and I don’t consider myself an expert enough on your delightful OCs to think it’s at all in character, but I hope you enjoy the effort all the same! Thank you for always being a voice of encouragement and an incredible friend!! <3

~ 2500 words, of the Stonebreaker variety

------

When your year included a day spent swinging from the gallows, it seemed poor luck not to celebrate surviving it.

The realization found Sylda quietly, one scorching afternoon in the height of summer as she idled around the dingy inn room that she and Delver had spent too much of their dwindling coin on. They hadn’t had much choice in the matter; the little inn was about the only place a reasonable person could wait out the arrival of the caravans that ferried travelers through the heart of the wilds beyond the bustling little trade stop. So they had spent the last two days waiting, until the waiting turned to bickering, and the bickering to silence, and the silence to sudden, glaring memory.

Staring up at the pock-marked ceiling, Sylda checked the date against the calendar in her head, checked it a second time for good measure, then sighed and heaved herself up off of the groaning springs of the bed beneath her. Its complaints drew Delver’s attention from his third reread of the book that he was definitely not falling asleep to.

“Where are you going?” he asked hazily, on reflex. There was resistance in his voice already. Sylda shrugged.

“Out,” she said, just to annoy him. “Maybe down to the market. Maybe to a tavern with some better wine. Hey, if I’m bored enough, maybe I’ll find my way over to the Gilded Keys. That could be fun.”

“We need to be here when the caravan arrives,” Delver reminded her, blinking the mirage of the book’s pages from his eyes as she crossed to the door.

“Mhm.”

“And I’m not going to climb around the whole city looking for you.”

“Of course not. I’ll be back.”

“Sure.” Delver sighed, scrubbing half-heartedly at what Sylda assumed was the beginning of his latest headache. Then he straightened.

“Isn’t the Gilded Keys a brothel?”

Her answer was the door falling shut behind her.

------

It was a productive afternoon, all things considered.

She spent nearly all of it loitering around the fringes of the market square, indulging in the long-neglected impulses of a thief gone nearly legitimate. A bakery lost some small, pocket-sized rolls fresh from the oven. A grocer misplaced a lump of cheap butter and a wide-mouthed jar of jam. A vintner got a very fine payout for a bottle of strawberry wine from the purse of a nervous gentleman up the road who had used braided cord for his purse strings instead of tarred rope. All in all, child's work, but clean work nonetheless. As the sun began to fall behind the edge of the horizon, Sylda wound her way as far from the center of town as she dared, and scaled the first roof that looked stable enough to hold her. It was nothing more than a low, flat plane of straw mats several blocks from the market, packed down and then gone over several times with pitch and bits of clay until it was as solid and sharp as unhewn granite. The family of three that lived beneath it wouldn't hear her footfalls on something that thick, even without all of the arguing they were doing.

She settled herself down on the corner that jutted out over a deserted alleyway, dangling her feet over the edge as she spread her spoils out beside her. The bread was still warm from its stay in the satchel she had tucked against her chest, just enough to melt the harder edge of the butter that she slathered on top. Cheap though it was, it was still deliciously salty, accenting the sweetness of the jam and the tart pop of wine. She indulged in three of the rolls, and half of the bottle of wine, before she let the tension roll slowly out of her shoulders.

Another year, then.

By every metric, that was something worthy of a toast. It meant that she hadn’t been too slow or too stupid, or at least that she had been good at cutting an escape when she was. It meant that she had cultivated enough luck and favor to be more of an asset than a menace. It meant that she had kept herself fed and safe and alive, and that she had done so, consistently, season after season, for the better part of two decades.

Almost, whispered the traitorous voice in her mind, quiet as a shadow. Almost, and almost not. A shame, to have nearly lost so much to the rope, and to have it mean so little…

She silenced the thought with another angry gulp of wine. She had survived. That was plenty. She didn't owe the world anything past that; she didn't owe anything to anyone.

And to yourself?

Sylda lowered her bottle as the flash of anger fizzled. Well, that was the question, wasn’t it? She had survived, and in surviving had been dragged away from everything that she had ever known. Every blessing and curse of street life, every familiar face that she had loved and never thought that she would miss; all of it had been swept away from her like so much road dust under her heels, carried off in one whirlwind of an afternoon. Now, instead, she had a messy inn room to look forward to one night, a frigid road camp the next. She had the company of a man who irritated her nine days out of ten, whose need for her mostly involved being a particularly interesting puzzle. Oh, Delver was fine as far as traveling companions went, but he had been clear about the purpose she served him, and vice versa. An even trade. That hardly made him something to be relied on.

When she thought about it, truly thought about it, her blessings fit almost entirely in the span of her hands - these clothes, this butter, a handful of rolls, a bottle of wine -

“There you are!”

And she nearly lost the bottle of wine over the edge of the roof. Heart in her throat, Sylda spun in her seat as Delver's head suddenly appeared over the edge of the wall beside her, his face twisted into a grimace of effort as he struggled up over the side. Habit alone roused her to her feet quickly enough to reach him at the edge of the roof, and haul him up by the crook of his elbow.

"What in the world are you doing here?" she asked, bewildered, as he staggered to his feet. Delver just snorted and knocked the topmost layer of grime from his cloak.

"I’m doing what I explicitly said I wasn't going to do,” he said dryly. “I'm climbing all over this dusty speck of a supply town looking for you. It's been hours, Sylda."

Defiance edged up through the cracks in her surprise. "I told you I was going out.”

"Sure. And then you went and stayed out until nearly sundown, when we were supposed to be back at the inn, waiting on the caravan -"

"Oh, the caravan isn't here yet." When Delver arched an eyebrow, Sylda shrugged. "What? I’m right, aren't I? If it had shown up already, I’d have seen it, or at least heard the ruckus from the market. You can spot them coming a full league away, and I’ve spent years running rooftops. I know what to keep an eye for.”

“Do you?” Irritation touched the edges of Delver’s tone. “Well, that’s a relief. Because you didn’t seem to ‘keep an eye’ on the shopkeepers that you spent all afternoon stealing from. If you had, maybe they wouldn’t have known exactly who I was talking about when I asked after you.”

He made a flourishing gesture to his purse, which jingled pitifully against his waist. Newly emptied, Sylda realized with a wince. She could just about picture the shape of the conversation that Delver had been subject to when the shopkeepers that she had swindled recognized her description. Maybe she hadn’t shaken nearly as much rust off as she had thought. She chanced a sheepish grin.

“In my defense, I wasn’t exactly intending to go back to them.”

Delver huffed. “No, I bet you weren’t.”

The brush of an insult there was almost enough to raise Sylda to an argument, but Delver’s attention had already shifted down to her meager pile of plunder, still lain out on the roof’s edge. He eyed the simple fare over for a moment, frowning, then turned to steal a glance up at her through the dirty fringe of his hair.

“Why?”

She could have lied. Could have pretended that she didn’t know what he was asking, could have pretended she was just sharpening her skills again, could have chalked it up to boredom, plain and simple. But a ghost possessed her instead, and she said, “It’s my birthday.”

It was almost worth the admittance to see Delver straighten so quickly. “What?”

“My birthday,” she said again, a little stronger. The words were out; no use fighting them now. “Rolls around about every year or so, you know? I figured it was worth doing...something, after making it through another one.” She made a pointed gesture near her neck and then shrugged like it didn’t wake the rotten seed of that particular memory. Delver just nodded, suddenly as stiff-necked as a new actor. He looked down at the spread of her spoils at their feet again, then out over the dusty rise of buildings spiraling out around them, frowning.

"Kind of a shit place for a celebration, isn't it?" he asked after a moment. Sylda shrugged.

"I’ve had them in worse places," she said, with a twist of a smile. "And to be fair, it's still better than sitting in a tiny inn room listening to you snore your way through a book you hate."

Delver scowled. "I don't snore."

"No," said Sylda, full grinning now, "you thunder like a bear in heat, and that’s on your better nights. Really, I’m not surprised you don’t travel in the wilds much, since you’d be in very real danger of one of them trying to petition you for the night -”

She broke off just in time to duck out of the way of one of the bread rolls as it sailed past her head.

"I’m starting to regret coming to find you,” Delver snapped as she heaved herself upright, snickering.

“You didn’t have to,” she pointed out helpfully. "Actually, I’m surprised you found me at all. We're not exactly near the market, and your bad luck is legendary -”

Delver raised another roll.

“- which makes the fact that you did find me that much more impressive." She held up a hand in a half-hearted gesture for peace, and begrudgingly, Delver lowered his weapon.

“It wasn’t exactly hard,” he admitted after a moment, dropping the little hunk of bread back onto her spread cloth. “You said that you used to work on rooftops, back in Yelen. After the mess in the market, I figured the only place that you'd go is up.”

He looked away, back out over the rise and fall of the town’s silhouette around them, and a strange tightness suddenly coiled itself inside Sylda’s chest. Delver was right; it wasn’t a difficult assumption to make, that she would go scurrying back to the rooftops for her safety. But it still took knowing her. It took remembering. A Cipher’s long, long memory was a testament to the things they found important enough to keep. The notion that anything about her even approached that bar, even temporarily…

She suddenly found herself settling back onto the edge of the roof, gesturing Delver down beside her and holding the bottle of wine out towards him.

“You still had to find me,” she pointed out. “It’s not a big town, sure, but finding one rooftop in a thousand, well…”

She shrugged, leaning back on one hand. Some starved, wretched part of her knew exactly what she was doing. It was the child in her, reaching out with both hands, little fists grasping for another word, another reassurance, another little brush of that companionship. Anything to have more than just this bottle of wine. The shame of it burned like a wildfire in her chest, but if Delver noticed, he mercifully didn’t say so.

“I tried just taking the roofs myself,” he said instead, accepting the seat and her offered wine with a grunt. “Managed to get on top of one without falling flat on my ass in front of everyone. Almost celebrated. Then I had a knife at my back.” He sighed, and took a long pull of wine as Sylda stifled a startled laugh. “I don’t know why I expected most thieves to stay on the street after knowing you. The gentleman holding my spine hostage seemed to think I was part of another gang and had come to muscle in on his territory. Then he tried to rob me. Then I guess he realized I wasn’t even worth dulling his blade to cut my purse, so he told me to get back on the ground where I belonged. I've spent the last hour peeking up onto roofs at random and hoping no one tries to cut my fingers off.”

"We usually check for rings on them first," Sylda assured him with a grin, even as her child-soul latched its stubby fingers around the thought and reeled it close. For me, it crooned delightedly. For me, for me; all of it, done just for me! A fresh tongue of shame licked up her ribs, spitting like a new log on a fire, but she couldn’t seem to bring herself to push it away. She was so warm, suddenly, shame and all. Maybe it was just curiosity, or frustration, or the ill-used dregs of duty, but Delver had still come looking for her. She hadn't needed him to; they both knew how easily she could work a town, even a small one, when she was being careful. But he had come anyway.

Even a very useful tool didn't warrant that sort of attention.

Swallowing the knot building in her throat, Sylda forced a shrug that she hoped looked nonchalant.

"Well, all the same, I’m glad you didn’t get your fingers cut off. Or fall off a roof. Or get robbed a second time." Delver leveled a glare at her over the bottle of wine, which she returned with a thin smile. “What? I’m serious! It’s a dangerous task, running rooftops like this. I just mean that I’m glad you made it up in one piece, that's all. It would be a pretty terrible birthday present for you to go and die on me."

Delver snorted. "Yeah, happy birthday," he muttered. "Now you’re sitting on a rooftop in the middle of nowhere while I drink away all of the wine that you stole. I’m sure you’re thrilled.”

Sylda just laughed. She couldn’t quite bring herself to correct him.

#my writing #other people's ocs #stonebreaker #thereluctantinquisitor #original fiction #i'm convinced I ran away with the characterization on this #so you have my deep apologies for that #i still hope it brings you a little bit of joy though!!#you deserve all of that and more :D

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antigoneidk · 4 years

Text

Unexpectedly good| h.h.

summary: Getting out of your comfort zone isn’t as bad as it seems, getting to know strangers can be fun. Espesially cute ones.

words count: 3.2+

pairing: harry holland x writer!reader

warnings: none

a/n: this is my first time writing about Harry, but I thought why not?

True love exists they say. You're seeing it all around you as you taking a walk around your neighborhood, you’re reading it through written words late at night sitting on your bedroom floor, you’re hearing through melodies while driving around the city.

But does it last forever?

You also notice people getting their hearts broken, couples married for decades separating their ways, fighting for things they thought they never would. You’re listening to your friends crying, or artists expressing this pain through paintings, poems, even movies with actors playing their roles really well, drifting everyone with their emotions. Promises, vows are getting broken.

And you can help those questions that are always running to your mind: if it doesn’t last forever,then why the hell do we bother with it? Why do we even dragging ourselves into these situations when we could easily just be alone and happy after all? If love means suffer, why do others are still falling in love?

It would never make sense. Are they dumb?

Maybe.

We’ve been taught from early years some rules.

Number one: always be kind to others around you.

Number two: listen to your parents.

Number three: find someone to love.

And is not that they told us to do with words, but somehow they showed us with their actions. Your dad would kiss your mother goodbye before work, or give her presents. Your mum would prepare a fancy dinner for him, usually to thank him for everything he’s done for their family. They would go on dates, spoil each other, “I love you"'s would be heard every now and then. Or after an argument they’ll fall asleep and the next day they’ll get up with smiles on their faces and a forgiving speech already made up.

“My parents are divorced.”

Are they single? No, at least one of then has moved on and met somebody to love.

And that is my point. They got their hearts broken once, why do they risk it for the second time?

“Hey are you okay?” the blonde girl asked next to you, clearly worried.

“Umm yeah? Why are you asking?”

“You have these weird expressions while you’re writing and you scared the shit out of us. Also I’m really curious to know what caused you this” your male friend sipped his iced coffee. You laughed at him closing your notebook leaving your pen inside it and copying his movements. The cold liquid felt hydrating.

“I don’t think you will any time soon baby" you placed your cup at the table. “And to be honest with you, nobody will"

“The disrespect! Girl, we’ve been here for the past two hours and this is the first time you're talking" her voice sounded serious at first, turning to more playful after. They both knew that you were an artistic soul, always with a pen in your hand ready to imprint your thoughts at a paper. Writing meant everything to your existence, the only getaway from the world.

“You need to be more confident with your writing y/n. You are talented and you keep wasting your talent away. Imagine how you can change the world with all your inspirational things you write for us, all of your creative stories that I have no idea how your mind is capable to think of them. And I'm not saying this because I'm your friend, this is my honest opinion”

“And some may say that you are just a hopeless romantic. But I am in awe with you and how you describe feelings that are so difficult to talk about.”

You smiled bright at your friends. “What did I do to deserve friends like you guys?”

“You were just lucky that we felt sorry for you that day at the library” he took your hands into his and turned to the girl next to you, that had wrapped her arms around your torso and had placed her head to your shoulder. “Do you remember how lonely she looked?”

“Ouch"you said moving your hand towards your heart playing it hurt. “Oh my Gosh, was I like this?”you asked biting your lip. It was your first year at a new busy town, with people that looked way cooler that you were, a lifestyle out of your comfort zone. Denying that you didn’t seemed lost would be a lie.

They both nobbed their heads laughing and you covered your face thinking how much you have changed the past few years and even though you still wokred with yourself, you had made progress there.

«I think we should go guys, it's getting late and I have work to do» the man of the group announced, Gigi next to you complaining that he just ruined her night for the dumbest reason «in history»

«Who goes home to do work? Have you lost your mind? Let's go get a drink» she turned to you «Is he crazy?»

«I mean he may have a reason»

«Are you siding with him now? Do you have a boyfriend and you just don't want us to know?»she leaned to his side wanting to learn more curious. Your friend was the person that wanted to know everything about the others, not because of the gossip, she wasn't like that. The reason behind it was that Gigi felt the need to protect her family and close friends from bad situations. And to do that, she pressured others just so they can help her create a picture about them, a guide for her that she might need in the future.

Noel on the other hand seemed more like incurious about his friend's private life. Not that he didn't care, but he would wait for the other with no pressure. He was there for who might needed his help, whenever they felt ready to open up. Lies was the only thing that he couldn't forgive. From anyone.

«I'm gonna kill this bitch I swear» he got up following you that you were already behind them giggling with them.

«You are so annoying Noel» Gigi grabbed you by the arms and made her way to the exit of the cute café you spent your afternoon at. You glanced back at him with curved lips but eyes drowning with tears of laughter, while he was getting up from his chair, laughing with his sweet laugh of his and looking around for things that you might have forgot.

«Oh I'm sorry» you heard your friend apologizing at the same time you crashed with her back. You turned your head at her ready to reassure her, before your eyes met a pair of brown ones.

«It's my fault I wasn't paying any attention» a blonde boy next to him apologized shyly.«Ladies first» they both stepped back making room for the both of you to make your way out. You took a look at the boy that caught your attention at first smiling shyly back at him when you noticed him doing the same. You held onto your friend tightly as you walked away, giggling with her quietly.

«Gigi what was that?» you asked after a while, being sure that none of them would here you.

«I have no idea» she said before slowing her step finally staying still in front of you. «But they looked cute» her eyes made their way behind your back.

«Yes he did» you mumbled taking a look at your shoes. At the very time you realized what words your mouth left out loud you corrected yourself quickly «They were cute yeah..um..where-where is Noel?» you shallowed the inside of your cheeks staring back at her.

«Behind you» she replied with a smirk. «Hey baby y/n forgot her pen there, would you wait for us? Just for a minute?»

«What? No-»

«No she didn't, I checked everywhere. Y/n just search again at your bag»You rolled your eyes and opened your bag, diving your hand into the mess inside just for you to reveal the pen that was missing apparently.

«I can't with you guys sometimes» her walking far from the two of you had you chuckle at your friend, yet thinking that something would have come out of this. But it was just a stranger, a handsome one, that you would never see again. The chances of meeting this man were minimal so you tried to not distract your mind with possible scenarios.

You were curious though. What would have happened if you went back there? Maybe he wouldn't be there, not all people like to enjoy their drinks inside a room with others. Maybe he would have been sitting at a table with the blonde guy talking about his day or problems hat he might have. How will his voice sound like? Or he would be the one listening to his friend.

Or they would be waiting for their girlfriends to come.

It sounded more realistic at that time.

«What happened now?». You grabbbed his arm slowly walking behind the blonde annoyed girl friend of yours. The irritated sound of his voice was showing, tired of her attitude she had the past xouple of minutes.

“She is just a little mad at us, you know she had other plans for tonight. What can I say? We are bad friends I guess" you joked making the boy next to you roll his eyes smiling.

Few days later you found yourself into your little appartment, working at a new assignment that had to be ready in a couple of hours. Your fingers tapping the keyboard faster that lightning, the words showing in front of you in seconds, your mind working nonstop, new ideas popping every now and then out of nowhere.

Three hours later and ten pages were ready to be sent back at your boss. Ten pages fillled with things that only God knew how much you loved them.

The power of art. How art can change someone completely, how people can be reborn, how the prospective of life can turn, how individuals could change into creatures ready to rule the world with their creativity, their visions of a better future.

Your phone rang unexpectedly, the sound of the familiar ringtone disctracting you from checking possible mistakes on your writing. You picked it in your hand, the photo of your blondie friend lit up the screen.

“Hello” you answered happy to hear her after days.

“Hi y/n, what are you-” a loud car horn stopped her from finishing her sentence, voices from far away screaming, a chaos starting to build up. “Watch where you’ re going phycho” you bit your lip curious as her aggressive tone sounded from the other side of the phone.

“Are you okay? Gigi?”

“Why do all idiots get driving license?”

“I don't know babe, let's just pretend that they didn't pay others"

“That's true" she paused for a while and then continued “Yeah anyway, what are you doing?”

“I just finished my article. Do you wanna come over?” you suggested.

“I was thinking if you're interested in meeting at that café we went with Noel” it was only ten minutes away from where you lived, so it worked perfect for you.

“That sounds like a plan”

“Great! I'm gonna be there in twenty minutes so take your time"

“Okay I'll see you soon" you hanged up the call and moved to your closet. The weather was cloudy and windy, unlike the day before. People were walking down the streets holding on to their jackets really tight, so you assumed that it was getting really cold out there, a feeling of sadness covering you from the inside as summer was coming to an end sooner that you'd thought.

Ten minutes after you were outside finally, hugging your body as tight as possible, holding your own jacket, try to protect your self from the cold. Your rapid steps got you to your destination earlier that usual. You opened the door, the warm air hitting your face, the smell of coffee and donuts filling your lungs. You scanned the space around you, an empty table catching your eyesight a few meters away from where you stood. You sat there ans waited patiently for your friend to come and join you. The attention of yours caught the food that was getting ready to be served to customers, looking like the most attractive thing in the universe. I'm getting one of these for sure.

“Sorry for being late. Guess who I bumped into” Gigi interrupted your thoughts as she sat at the chair across you.

“Bratt Pitt?”

“I would have died. Try again I'll give you one more chance”

“Is it a celebrity?” you leaned to her half smiling.

“Nope" she shaked her head and crossed her hands down to her chest, leaning back.

“Then why would I know? Was it your ex?”

“Who sees their ex and smiles like that? Wake up"

“I give up"

“Do you remember the two cute boys we saw here?” she placed her arms at the table. “Yes don't look at me like that. They will be here in a few"

“You invited two strangers? What if their intentions are bad? Have you lost your mind?” you started panicking, yet making sure that you won't drag all the attention to you from the others.

“That would have been fun for your miserable life but no they're not bad. They seemed really nice actually and that's why I told them that we will be here so shut your mouth. And you even said that you liked that brunette boy, you should thank me”

“I never said anything like that Gigi. And I don’t care if they are the nicest people we've ever met, they're still strangers-“

“Not anymore" she lifted her arm and then stood up with a bright smile on her lips. “Um hey guys" she greeted them and then pointed towards you. “This is y/n I told you about" you got up and turned around so you can meet them yourself.

“Harrison" the blonde guy said to you and you smiled back at him.

“Y/n" you shacked his hand politely. He did not seem bad at all and even though you felt sorry for him, it was still irresponsible from her to act like this. You made room for him to pass you and came face to face with the brunette boy.

«I'm Harry» so that's how his voice sounded like.

«I'm y/n. Nice to meet you» he shacked your hand and you couldn't ignore the feelings you got, the warmth, the electricity you felt, the sensation just from the palm of his hand. You sat back down, across your bestfriend and next to Tom.

At first you felt really awkward, compared to Gigi that looked so confident and never stopped talking, moslty about her life, how she ended up in this town, what she's studying, her hobbies. She was a person that had the ability of opening up to strangers real quick, very friendly. She made you feel like home, like she was the big sister everyone wanted. That's how she won a place into your heart, you have always needed a friend like her, and she was at the right place the right time.

«So y/n what do you do in your free time?» Harrison asked.

«Oh..um I write I guess?»

«You have to see what she wrote last week. I admire her talent and I'm sure she will get far one day»

«It's not that big of a deal» you grabbed the cup in front you. «I just love writing about life and things in general»

«I would love to read something of yours» you heard Harry speaking and you turned to watch him. His curls seemed perfect covering a little of his forehead, his cheeks a light red, probably from the heat, his eyes staring back at you.

«You think so?» he caught you by surprise, as mostly the people that learnt about your obsession with writing never actually asked you to read anything from your writings, and maybe there was a chance that this was the reason behind you doubting all of your work. It was a battle that you didn't ask for.

«Yes» his lips turned into a smile, your did to as you couldn't help it. And you met him only half and hour before.

Their stories were interesting. Harrison had a passion for acting and was actually preparing for a really big project that he couldn't share much information for. But your curiosity was loud, you wanted to learn about this job, or how he was able to handle his emotions.

Harry was into photography, a fact that surprised you in a good way, and as you heard him talk about it more as the time went by, both of you gained more confidence and comfort around each other, absorbing plenty of informations.

At this point you thanked your friend for inviting them, and noted to do that in person after. They were truly the nicest people and seemed like two boys that you would totally hang with them anytime.

“This is amazing. I would love to see them one day” you stated. He moved closer to you, his one arm came behind your chair and rested there.

“I'm free for you anytime, as long as I'm gonna read anything, a poem or a story, only of yours”

“You really want to read them? They are not that good” you pointed at Gigi "Don't listen to her"

“You're really cute” he pulled your hair behind your ear “And yes I want to read one of your writings, I know that they will be good, I can already tell how artistic you are and I like that” he really said that? Was this true?

“Hey mate we have to go. Tom is waiting for us" Harrison pushed Harry's arm destroying your little moment, thankfully cause you actually didn't have any answer for his statement. Just questions that he wasn't going to answer.

“Already? He can't wait for a little more?” Harry got up after Harrison as he wore his jacket.”I'm so sorry girls. We'll make up for this I promise you. And I'm gonna bring my work with me just for you" he whispered his last sentence to you, while the other two of the group were talking on their own.

“It's okay don't worry. I'm sure he has a reason for whatever happened"

“No my brother is just a asshole and not responsible but don't let me get started" you laughed for a moment and watched straight at you, Harrison and Gigi hugging each other. They seemed like they got so closed within an hour only. It was unbelievable how she knew exactly what to say to win everyone's heart and mind. “I'm just hoping that I'll be able to see you again"

“Um I hope to as well" you smiled at him goodbye and waved at the two boys, that were walking now outside the café.

“You're lucky that I have Harrison’s number”

“What?”you turned your attention back to her. She was in a really happy mood and it showed not only from her expressions but from her body language as well.

“You dumbass how are you gonna see him again if you can't find him huh?”

She was right.

“I'm sorry for earlier. I was wrong" you apologized, feeling sorry for staying mad at her when all she wanted to do was to get you out of your comfort zone.

“You're still thinking about it? Just tell, how was he? He was cute right?”

After 2 hours of gossip and analyses you were finally back at your safe place, wrapped around with your favorite blanket and your favorite movie on. Everything seemed okay when a message from an unknown number called you back into reality.

‘Hey this is Harry! I forgot to ask your number but I was lucky enough to find it. Goodnight<3'

-----------

he is so cute what the hell?????

#Harry Holland #harry holland x you #harry holland x y/n #harry holland x reader #harry holland fluff #harry holland fic #harry holland imagine

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moonstone27ls · 3 years

Text

Ducktales finale spoilers

You’ve been warneddddddddd

Warning

Warning you againnnn

Sooo Ducktales will be ending soon my thoughts? Not as sad as when compared to Rise of the TMNT, Venture Bros, Brooklyn 99 (though it had a good run considering), Drunk History, Dark Crystal Age of Resistance. Though there are rumors Darkwing Duck is gonna be rebooted.... uhh maybe excited? I'd say maybe becauseeeee again its on a streaming service... and no for anyone's future question don't have Disney+ and have no intention of getting it why? Cause I'm broke/on a budget and I can't buy every stupid streaming service for the sake of a few shows.

But I'm getting off topic the show in general... sorta sad but sorta not. I'll be honest some eps of Ducktales in the last season didn't fit well with me. Some felt uhh very cliche/or readable, some felt kid dumb (but its a kids show so you're gonna get a few of those more than once), some felt like they were uhh if I had to compare like when you'd watch Adventure Time and you'd be "WTF was that one for". I wouldn't say dark you're just "that one felt random". Sometimes thats not bad but heh depends on the taste.

There are a few things disappointed we didn't get to see one Donald & Della's ACTUAL parents interacting with their children, GRANDCHILDREN. Don't get me wrong their interactions with Scrooge was nice but we barely got one ep with family that WASN'T him. You'd think given what dangerous work they were involved with we'd see a flashback or actual talk of their parents talking to them. Especially with Della being a single mother oO. Kinda feel it slightly unrealistic that they'd just sit and do nothing (and no there's no sign they're dead so they should be around) when their daughter disappeared into space. I mean maybe it'd been nice to see a few eps of past Donald getting advice from his mother Hortense how to raise the triplets. Heck would have like to see Hortense & Matilda's relationship.

Second the triplets father would had been nice oO. Yes he does have a father. All these fan ships but no one actually wondering "hey who's the boys father?".

Third would had been nice to see more of Violet's family life. I mean whats the point of giving her "dads" if they never have a role beyond background character. Heck would had been nice to see a day of Violet and Lena's life with their fathers. Yes probably to the viewers it probably would had been boring but whatever 8B.

Four uhh I dunno explore space more? Maybe actually see some of Moon's home. I'll be honest that episode of "Moonlander on Earth" ep always bugged me. While I could believe some of the moon aliens wanted to stay on earth. I'm not convinced an entire planet thought Earth was so amazing they'd just stay there forever. People are fickle things, I can believe some wanted to stay like a vacation. But I feel at some point some, like Penny wanted to just go home. And I always found it... disturbing that no one attempted to really listen (no I don't count Webby cause that was written more of an experience lesson than "oh I miss home"). I mean the McDucks have all the money in the world, thats how Scrooge spent almost all his fortune finding Della. I'm just not convinced Scrooge and them thought "Hey we got extra rockets if they wanna go home we'll let them". No it was "oh they'll never get home, lets not bothering asking or giving them those extra resources. I think the show MISSED a good opportunity to let Penny go home (as well as others). And since Fenton or Gyro are often considered so smart they couldn't make a special teleport device JUST for them or ways to keep communicating with the moon. Thus meaning they could have explored space. And while some might argue "yes we needed Penny for the finale" (minor spoiler). She didn't DO anything she and Goldie were mostly used for cameo purposes. Sooo wasted use there.

Hmm anything else.... would have LIKED to seen more eps with Gandra/Fenton but hey if that Darkwing Duck spinoff is a thing maybeeee Gizmoduck will make special appearances and Gandra/Fenton can double date with Morgana & Drake(yes I wanted her to make an appearance I liked her goth look). Uhhh I don't think we ever got a Selene & Della interaction. (So far no eps were really... well friendship stuff. I mean I got a small fraction (if that) with Gods on the Block ep but it was near the literal END)

Also wish we could had more from the old show cameos Kit/Molly, Rescue Rangers, Goofy... pft plus I'll be honest before the show ended would had loved an actual cameo of Goofy, Mickey & Donald just alll together. Pfttt omg I would had loved a Max & Roxanne cameo date/wedding (yes I shipped them). Haha more interactions would had been fun. And while I enjoyed the Talespin sorta crossover... could had more (and yes sorta ship Kit/Della. heh sorta more of a crackship haha). And lets be honest that Molly cameo was wasted potential. I mean would had been cool to see Baloo & Becky. Though I understand to a degree why we didn't. At least with Baloo. But ahh well what can you do.

And same with Daisy and Donald buttttt gonna take some of the finale as something. I'm just gonna say it left enough for my imagination to think "they're having a happily ever after soon". Uhh another minor spoiler with Ludwig revealed not to be dead (which I'm glad)... just disappointed he wasn't in the credits or given more interactions with Scrooge. Yeah I know they weren't BEST friends or anything but I dunno I do associate them as friends.

Anything else... uhhh would had been nice to see more of Boyd and Doofus family moments too. I mean I dunno consideringgggg that life probably was better for Doofus' parents now that they had an ACTUAL loving child. Be nice to have seen more scenes. I mean heck that last ep with Doofus... uhh jumping? I assume it meant Doofus had closure and accepted his fate? So I dunno would had been good to see him and Boyd bond more. Heck I'd like to have seen his parents' telling Gyro in finale (yes minor spoiler) take care of "our" son.

Nowww onto the finale gonna put spoilers soo warning here.... as for the finale it was... good. I'm not gonna say "Oh it was the best everrrrrrrr". Nah it was pretty good given their budget or whatever. Yeah some felt rushed and all those cameos while I appreciate the thought felt wasted potential. I mean I get why budget/timing etc. Just saying you know could had some Goldie/Scrooge moments, more Lena & Violet, Webby friendship stuff. I mean heck when they were all "released" (and judging by that cube system) there was a lot we don't really see where they go or how the Ducktales group got everyone where they originally belonged.

What did I think of Webby's so called surprise... uhh mixed. Bigger picture wise kinda explained that need to be so clingy. To a degree I sorta agree with the split fans I like it and I don't like it. But I get it the writers NEEDED something for shock value cause lets face it they ran everything else. I say a part of me didn't like it cause I was kinda hoping this version would show us Webby's real parents. And I'm not fully convinced that photo was just a fake or some random relatives Beakley took to shut her up.

I think she sounded genuine when she said "I missed a lot". I admit when the whole "oh she's made from FOWL" was becoming obvious. I thought Beakley was subtly hinting that her daughter made Webby. I dunno could see that happening seeing that this whole ep was hinting at adults who did NOT think of their actions effects (yeap Scrooge, Della's choice to go on that rocket, Bradford's granny traumatizing the dummy), I thought "Ohh sooo she felt neglect and rebelled or fell for the enemy". But anyways yeah I still think Beakley probably DID have a daughter. Where is she? I dunno, thats kinda the whole point. Either she died or like Donald did with Scrooge, broke away from her family. I really believe whatever the reason, her daughter's gone from her life and Beakley deeply regrets she wasn't a more attentive mother. She probably to a degree saw Webby as her second chance to do better by her.

Hmmm lets see anything else.... as dark as it was with what Bradford did... not really shocked. And while he was obviously a villain I think his background did prove a point. But I could be thinking of Dean Venture and Dr Venture's childhood. Not every kid is built or for that matter wants an adventure life. Bradford was a product of his well intentional but neglectful family. Had the triplets or Donald not wanted this life that could had been them. Thankfully it wasn't 8B.

I admit the part with the villians at the end was quiet surprising. Not because they turned him into a bird pft. But because technically they saved Scrooge but heh I get it, chalk it up to either "they don't like to be used" or "Bradford was so terrible he was beneath even their level". Just somewhat made me wish Magica could have found Poe or something (I liked his design and voice actor).

And super glad we didn't really lose a lot of villains. I dunno I wanted Phantom Blot & Pepper to escape, fight another day stuff. And I kinda think to a degree thats why we saw that dumbed-down clone of Bradford. He's gone but that clone could get "smarted" up to stir more trouble 8B. Maybe I dunno.

Heh but all in all I enjoyed this finale. Its was wayyyy better than Star and Tangled's finale, no flippin' drama :P. I mean I suppose you could call Donald & Daisy leaving drama? but no not really cause literally none of this bothered me. The credits kinda gave me that nostalgia of how this show got so much attention. So while it was rushed maybe and it had its flaws. All in all it kept up with the heart. Soo I enjoyed the credits a lot good way to say goodbye

(just putting that gif there cause I liked it 8B)

Anything else....KEITH FREAKING DAVID, another reason to give this finale a point best flipping part I’m just sad I have no gif to use XD

#finale #Ducktales #Disney #Ducktales spoilers

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spooks-and-tea · 4 years

Text

Entangled (Spencer Reid x femReader) [Ch.3]

Summary: You don’t know how it happened. One moment you were watching Criminal Minds, and the next moment you were literally in the show. Can Spencer be the key to helping you find your way back home?

Warnings: minor character death, mentions of su*cide, bad explanations of quantum mechanics, sexual situations(some non-con), the usual criminal minds-type content

A/N: Thank you for loving this and leaving lovely comments<3 I’m literally only writing it out of boredom and wanting to make quarantine a little better for you guys. Sorry this chapter is so dialogue heavy! I like writing dialogue! Spencer says interesting things!

Word Count: 3,526

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10. Chapter 11.

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In most fiction, a character wakes up confused, with little memory of where they are. You never understood that scenario. In what situation do you spend the night at a friend's house and wake up confused? Surely you have some memory of the night before. You figured it was just a work of fiction, a plot device writers used to make a character reflect on a situation.

That was what you thought... until you woke up in a fictional apartment.

You woke up with a killer headache, sore limbs, and a sore throat. The full package, lucky you. You thought maybe you had drank a little too much the night before, after all 27 is a far cry from 21.

I'm getting old.

You stretched your aching limbs and slowly opened your eyes. Laying on your side, your eyes settled on the analytical gaze of none other than Spencer Reid.

"Holy shit!" You screamed, jumping back and startling the hell out of Spencer. You ungracefully flailed as you teetered on the edge of the bed, body about to fall off. Spencer quickly reached out and pulled your elbow, leveraging your weight back onto the bed just in time.

You clutched the sheets, grabbing your bearings, while silently taking in the situation.

"Are you alright?!" Spencer asked, catching his breath.

"Just peachy." You deadpanned.

I'm in bed with Spencer Reid. God, why does he look so hot with bedhead hair?

Spencer gave you a wry smile before breaking out into laughter. You glared at him, but his laughter made you smile. It was nice to hear him laugh.

"I don't understand how you can be so calm about this. Imagine getting sucked into my world where you have to be an actor that plays yourself."

"Well, hypothetically speaking, if that were to happen I would be overqualified."

You rolled your eyes and got out of bed, but not before noticing the coffee and woodsy-vanilla scent. You'd smelled that before.

"Do you want breakfast? I know a good café near your place." Spencer stood to stretch.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, that's fine." You stared at the bed, trying to place that smell.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just- a smell. Your bed smells like you. It's familiar. From before."

To a normal person, your words would sound weird. But to Spencer? Well, they piqued his interest.

"You've smelled me before?" He asked, curiously. You nodded, looking up to see he had moved around the bed to stand in front of you.

"In a dream. Just before waking up here. Before we even met."

"Smell is a powerful memory trigger. Do you remember the split? When your reality entangled with mine?"

"I remember some of it."

"Maybe we should try something to help you remember," he considered. "Close your eyes and think of where you were when reality split."

You closed your eyes, taking yourself back to the memory of that place. You heard Spencer step closer, stopping in front of you.

You felt his breath against your cheek.

"You said the smell was familiar. What did it smell like?" Spencer spoke, softly.

"L-like you. Coffee and a woodsy vanilla," you stuttered, clenching the hem of the shirt Spencer had lent you. You were sure if you opened your eyes, Spencer would be mere centimeters away from you.

"Good. Focus on that. Were your eyes open or closed?"

"Open. My eyes are open." You fell into present tense as you immersed yourself in the memory.

"How do you feel?"

"Weightless. There's no gravity, gravity doesn't matter here. There's also something tugging. It's pulling me somewhere. It's pulling from here." You placed your hand on your chest. "It feels like a magnet, a super strong force."

"Look around. Do you see anything?"

"Yes, I see lights and- and they're moving all around me."

"What colors are the lights?"

"Every color, even colors I've never seen before. We can't see them here. I-I can't explain it, but it's beautiful."

"Can you hear anything?"

"Humming, like a television static. Crackling electricity and-and then a loud snap, like someone snapping their fingers."

"What's happening? Do you see anything else?"

You nodded.

"Curtains opening, red, velvet and soft. I'm traveling through them and they're all around me, like a tunnel. I'm being pulled through. Pulled towards the other end of the magnet, the other half. I know this. I'm sure of it. The other half is reaching out to me. Oh god, what if I can't reach it?" You distantly felt a tear run down your cheek. Your body was leaning forward more and more as you remembered, as if following the pull you remembered feeling.

"It's far away," you whispered, feeling the magnetic pull in your chest now.

"Reach out for it."

You leaned forward more and more following the pull until the dream was suddenly interrupted.

"Y/N." Spencer's fingertips brushed against your cheek, his voice barely a whisper.

You slowly came back to reality, opening your eyes.

Spencer was hardly a centimeter away from you, his lips ghosting so close to yours. Your hand lay flat against his chest, keeping you upright.

Both of you stayed silent, eyes half-lidded, listening to each other's soft breaths, and not daring to move. If you lifted your head just a bit you could brush your lips against his.

Spencer licked his lips, beginning to turn his head and close his eyes.

Then, as if this were a bad rom-com Spencer's phone ringtone went off. You both jumped apart.

Spencer avoided your eyes, leaving the room to find his phone which had otherwise been forgotten after last night's reveal.

You stared at the doorway, breathing heavily. You could hear your heartbeat, as if it were screaming out for him to come back and kiss you.

Had he actually wanted to kiss you? He let you unknowingly come close to it before even bringing you out of your memory. Up until yesterday, his false memories had told him you two were just friends. Did he actually like you, or was he just intrigued by you?

Spencer returned to the room, still avoiding your eyes. His body was stiff.

"That was JJ, she was just checking in on you. She said you didn't answer your phone, so you probably forgot it at home again."

"Spencer, I don't even know where I live," you spoke, carefully.

"Oh, right. You're not the same person I remember," Spencer frowned, "I can show you where you live."

You stayed silent, feeling a little hurt from his comment, though it was true. Did he want to kiss you, or the you he falsely remembered? Did he miss this false-memory version of you?

Spencer stared at his bed, lost in thought. You fought the urge to reach out and smooth the crease between his brows.

"What are you thinking, Spence?"

He shook his head, running his hand through his hair.

"I think there are some things in this world we just can't explain."

"Hmm that doesn't sound very 'Spencer Reid' of you to say." You tried to joke, anything to lighten the mood.

"You only know the parts of me you've seen on tv," he smiled, sadly. "You know it's funny, I know so much about you, and these false memories convinced me that we're friends, but I don't really know you either, do I?"

"I'd like to know you." You quickly spoke your thoughts.

Spencer sighed, finally turning his head to meet your eyes.

"I'd like to know you too."

************************************************************************

"Come on, Impossible Girl, let's go get some food."

You blushed as you followed him out of his home, adjusting your now-dry old clothes from the previous day. You had used Spencer's shower, loving the, now familiar, vanilla-scented shampoo. His fans would probably kill to know the exact smell, you giggled.

"Hey, is that nickname from Doctor Who?"

"Yup." Spencer smiled, adjusting his tie.

You knew he didn't like to drive, but for the time being he was the one driving your car since you had no sense of direction here.

He first took you to a café and treated you to a bagel and some heavenly mixture of french vanilla and coffee. You both sat at a table in the back next to the window and people watched. Spencer profiling a few passerby for you.

"How am I going to return to work? I don't know anything about profiling, other than watching you spout out facts on the show." You joked.

"I think you'll catch on. You're smart. But if it makes you feel any better, I'll try to cover for you whenever I can. Maybe your acting skills will come in handy."

You snorted out a laugh.

"At least, in this new life, I got the part. Kind of sad I won't be meeting Matthew Gray Gubler though." You joked, watching Spencer fake offense.

"We should leave now if we want to stop at your place first. Don't want Hotch firing you on your first real day."

You rolled your eyes with a smirk and followed him out.

Spencer parked in front of a high-end apartment block. Leading you through a squeaky clean lobby. There were elevators, but Spencer told you that you were on the second floor anyways so you might as well take the stairs. You were already wondering how you could afford an apartment in such a nice building. He unlocked your door at the end of the hall and led you inside, flipping on the light-switch.

Your jaw dropped.

"You have got to be kidding me," you breathed.

"Welcome home." Spencer said through a tight-lipped smile, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn't look surprised, he looked comfortable, like he'd seen this place a hundred times before.

You walked further inside, mouth agape. A chandelier hung from the entryway and a staircase wound up to the left. To your right was a grand piano and two armchairs surrounding a couch and television. Large floor to ceiling windows with red velvet curtains lined the wall near the piano. You brushed your fingers over the keys of the piano that probably cost more than you had in your old bank account and assets combined. Spencer lingered behind you as you peered through an archway leading to the next room. This room contained the kitchen, every appliance looked brand new. The room also had another floor length window, and French doors that led out to an enclosed balcony that was bathed in natural light and plants. You couldn't believe there was more, and you hadn't even walked up the stairs yet.

Spencer lingered behind you, looking around and smiling at your reactions.

Just past the kitchen, another set of French doors gave way to the dining room which contained a large table lined with chairs. Art hung all around. Circling back to the main entry and, you guessed, living room, your eyes trailed up the stairs.

"Spencer, this can't be my apartment, I'm not even sure I can call it an apartment; it's the size of the entire second floor of this building! There's no way I can afford this." The place was gorgeous, it was like something out of a movie.

"As I understand it, your father left you a large sum of money when he passed away; he left everything to you. You made some good business choices and bought this place," he smiled to himself as he explained. "That didn't stop you from pursuing your own career at the BAU, though. You also donate to plenty of charities every year."

"But my father was a fisherman. He caught and sold fish at a little shop in my hometown."

Spencer frowned, "maybe where you're from, but here he was the CEO of a large company."

"How did he die?" You nearly whispered.

"He drowned. He was on a fishing trip, your mother was with him. A storm caught the small crew by surprise. There were no survivors." Spencer spoke softly, nearing you.

"My mother," you swallowed back all of the emotions that were building up.

"I'm sorry, Y/N."

You shook your head. "No, it's okay. I just wish I had a chance to meet my mom. For me, she died when I was very young, too young to remember her."

Spencer wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. You sniffled and hugged him back, welcoming the comfort you found in his arms.

"This is all so different. Would I sound crazy if I said I wanted to go back to your place?"

Spencer ran his hand up and down your back. "No, it actually makes sense. My apartment's familiar to you. You can stay the night again, if you want, but I don't think-"

"Y/N? Is that you?" A man's voice echoed from behind you. Startled, you clutched Spencer's shirt, though he tried to step away from you.

You looked up at the top of the staircase to find a shirtless stranger leaning against the railing.

"Um. Yes?" You answered in a questioning manner.

The man turned and started to descend the stairs.

"Spence, who is that?" You whispered, nervously. The man looked like a model with abs straight out of a catalogue.

"That's Chris. He's your-"

You stiffened as Chris pulled you against his chest. Your eyes widening as he kissed you, taking advantage of your surprise by sticking his tongue down your throat. Everything in you wanted to push him away.

"-boyfriend." Spencer mumbled.

When he pulled away you almost wanted to cry because Spencer had just watched a strange man make out with you. You didn't kiss him back, but Spencer couldn't see that from where he stood.

"Where have you been? I tried calling, but you left your phone on the kitchen counter."

"I-uh. I slept over at Spencer's."

"Why would you do that?"

"Um-"

"She had a long day at work, I offered to help her with some of her paperwork at my place and we sort of lost track of time, so she decided to stay the night. I let her take the couch." Spencer saved you an explanation. The ease at which he told the lie making you raise your eyebrow.

"Oh. Hey Spencer. How's it going, man?" Chris turned his attention away from you, but kept an arm around your waist. He reached out and roughly pat Spencer's shoulder. You held your breath, knowing Spencer hated when people he didn't know well touched him.

"It's going- it's going good." Spencer gave him a tight-lipped smile, lowering his head to look at his shoes.

"Good to hear. Hey, do you mind if I talk to her upstairs for a second?" Chris asked, pointing his thumb at the stairs.

"N-no."

"Good man!" Chris laughed, patting Spencer's shoulder once more. He led you up the stairs by your waist. You turned your head as you walked, giving Spencer a pleading look.

He turned his gaze to look out the window with an unreadable expression.

Chris led you through the first door, closing it behind you. You looked at the room, it must have been the master bedroom as a 4 poster king sized bed sat in the middle, floor-length mirrors and art lined the walls, and you could see another door at the end of the room most likely leading to a bathroom. It was all gorgeous, of course, but it wasn't as cozy looking as Spencer's quaint room. There wasn't a random scattering of books on the bedside table, or along the walls. If it wasn't for the rumpled sheets, you wouldn't believe anyone actually slept in here.

"You know I hate it when you spend the night at his place. I miss having you here, with me, baby."

Chris wrapped his arms around your middle, running his pinky along the skin just below your shirt hem. You had to admit, the man was drop-dead gorgeous, with baby blue eyes, a toned, muscular figure, and a complexion that glowed. He honestly wasn't the kind of man you'd normally go for. He was too perfect, like a manufactured person.

There was nothing about him, no small flaws to dote over, no inflection in his voice that raised the hairs on your skin. Who were you kidding? He just wasn't Spencer. Real life flesh and blood Spencer Reid, waited for you downstairs, with his unruly, wavy hair and dark eyes, and the way he did that thing where he scrunched his nose.

Busy thinking about Spencer, you failed to notice Chris trailing kisses down your neck. Your body tensed and you squirmed. He was a complete stranger to you, though technically your boyfriend.

"Mmm. I had to take care of myself while you were gone, but I imagined you. When you're on your knees begging for me, you know that's my favorite." Chris nipped at your earlobe. You had to admit, you moaned a little, that was one of your favorite things. Only someone you had been with before would know that.

"I-I have to get dressed for work now, or I'll be late," you stammered.

Chris chuckled and winked, seductively.

"I see, well I can help you with that." He started to lift your shirt. You took this moment to slide out of his grasp.

"Um, maybe show me in the closet?" You didn't want to have to explain why you didn't know where the closet was.

Chris grinned, and opened the door you thought was a bathroom. It revealed a walk in closet, lined with mostly your clothes, but some were definitely his. You felt like a kid in a candy shop as you ran your fingers along the racks.

You forced yourself to calm down and chose the first outfit you saw, you really were going to be late for work and you didn't want Spencer to get in trouble.

You retreated behind a changing divider, hanging the outfit on the divider. You quickly removed your shirt and pants, happy to finally be out of the old clothes. You felt arms around you, Chris had returned.

"Sure you don't want to take the day off? I could get rid of Spencer and we can spend the rest of the day in bed." Chris kissed your cheek. Man, why was this man so horny?

You frowned as he mentioned Spencer, talking about him as if he was nothing more than an inconvenience. You didn't know Chris, and you didn't want to judge him too harshly just because he wasn't the man downstairs, but he was certainly making it difficult to like him.

"Remind me how long we've been together, again?" You asked, distracting him as you pulled on a new outfit, a simple shirt and work pants combo with a trench jacket to shield you from the rain that was sure to start up again later.

"About 2 months, why?"

You breathed a sigh of relief. Good, it hadn't been that long.

"No reason. Look I really should get going. I'l see you later, yeah?" You quickly made your way out of the room, waving goodbye.

You practically jogged down the stairs, feeling suffocated by the strange environment and strange man upstairs. Spencer still stood looking out one of the windows with one hand in his pocket and the other fidgeting at his work bag strap.

"Spencer," you whispered loudly, looking over your shoulder to see if Chris had followed you out. Luckily he chose to stay in bed by himself. You cringed at the thought of having to sleep in that bed beside him.

You fast walked to the front door, making sure you had your wallet on you.

Spencer turned around and almost looked amused at you trying to sneak out of your own house.

He followed you out and down the hall. You finally felt like you could breath.

"When were you going to tell me I had a boyfriend?!" You scolded him.

"He didn't cross my mind. Oh and here, I grabbed your cell for you while you were upstairs." Spencer held out your phone, you pocketed it knowing it was most likely dead and you'd have to find a charger at work.

"How on earth was any of that real? I just got here yesterday!"

"You're asking me like I should know how all of this works. I might be a genius, but even I don't know everything." Spencer smirked. "If I had to guess, I'd say the longer you're here, the more canon to the universe you're becoming."

"Chris is awful Spencer. I would never go for a guy like that," you sighed.

"You just met the guy. I don't know him well, but he certainly can compete in an ab contest with Morgan. And you have been together for 2 months, my memory tells me. 2 months has got to count for something."

You couldn't help but laugh at his observation.

"I really don't want to come back here after work." You groaned, getting into the passenger seat of your car.

"Is it really that bad? Your boyfriend's a clothing model and your home is worth millions. Some people would kill to have your life."

"Well it's a good thing we catch those people, then."

Spencer rolled his eyes, starting up the engine.

"Work will definitely be interesting today."

Next Chapter

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic #cm #drama #fanfiction #romance

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nightcoremoon · 3 years

Text

quantic dream is a weird case because like the games should be amazing but they're NOT

looks good, sounds good, feels good, great voice acting (fuckin willem dafoe and elliot page and clancy brown are all excellent VAs), replayable, and the writing in all the side bits are honestly great, and everyone did a great job with them as far as digital entertainment

like until dawn and the walking dead season 1 and life is strange, it's not really "traditional" controls, there is no real game over, each game runs from beginning to end regardless of the choices you make, QTEs and exploration and puzzles and moral choices are the extent of the gameplay.

but the difference is that UD & TWD & LIS had good writers and david cage is a complete hack (and kind of a misogynist and kiiiind of a racist)

I could go into the flaws of heavy rain, omikron, indigo prophecy, beyond two souls, but I think I'd rather go into detroit becoming human.

so like. "it's not a racial allegory", right? except literally at the start of the game you're a white cop and a black servant and a female servant. the black guy is treated badly by a crowd of white people, then he gets on the segregated back of the bus where he is forced to stand up, then he's on the run from the police (and dies), then he either a) runs a pacifist resistance and sacrificing himself or b) sets fire to everything, "we have a dream" and ✊🏾 are literal choices he can make, there is a million man march, you literally have the magical ability to Press X To Liberate (where he forces the robots to go from blindly following the orders of their masters to, uh, blindly following the orders of a new master oh no yikes), and hey at least it evaded tokens because there's another black guy and... oh no he's a 'magical negro' stereotype who can and will be fridged at any moment to give Pain to the white girl. oh and the underground railroad lady LMAO. and all this blatant black civil rights activism allegory is happening to... sigh. robots.

now look, I am really heavily into the philosophy of theoretical transhumanism. star trek, mass effect, deus ex, even bethesda fallout [much as I fucking hate many aspects of fallout 3/4, I do really like the synths angle as it adds layers of intrigue and grey morality to an otherwise quite absurdly black and white system] are some of my favorite universes partly because of that. data/doctor/7of9, legion & EDI, adam jensen, nick valentine, they're all some of my favorite characters in those series. it's probably partly because as an autistic person I understand and empathize with them much more than I do the non-robot characters (and so much more than the "autistic" characters written by allistics :/ ). protag!connor is a cinnamon roll (because he says fuck the police in the third act, since the only good cop is a dead former cop... but also because I do like his character and the way he was portrayed by the actor and his contrast to hank who is the best character voiced by an actor I love, and connorXhank is the only part of DBH that I like as far as the writing goes). I should have loved detroit as much as I love the movie I, Robot. [btw if you like detroit watch it]

and yet

the problem is that it should have tried to just stay in its own lane and deal purely with the transhumanism angle, and not tried to also be racially woke. it is tasteless and blatantly racist for white people (especially the, ugh, french) to directly compare any nonblack protected class to black people in a work of fiction. my fellow autistics, my fellow queers, jews probably but I'm not even gonna touch that, and androids. all of the experiences are wildly different from the black experience especially in the US and it is not our place to compare ANY demographic in such an on-the-nose fashion. oh and don't even get me fucking STARTED on the goddamn HOLOCAUST IMAGERY AT THE ENDING. OH YEAH THE ROBOTS ARE GETTING PUT INTO CONCENTRATION CAMPS AND THEN INTO AN INCINERATOR, THAT'S TOTALLY NOT JUST AN ANALOGUE TO JEWS OR ANYTHING HA HA FUCK YOU DAVID CAGE alright that's enough.

oh and kara's story is a completely useless and tacked-on experience that depends wholly on the effects of the other characters and a plot twist that kinda renders her entire story... just. completely fucking pointless. and also because david cage loves short haired girls in perilous distress of a sexual nature.

and the cherry on top of the shit sundae is that the entire android deviants aspect is a planned obsolescence ploy by the corporations. it was programmed for the androids to have free will so it makes the old models go all murderhappy and incentivizes the people to trade in their old malfunctioning iphones for brand new sleek & shiny new ones. it was just social commentary on apple's shady business practices that also disguised itself as social commentary on post-slavery america that disguised itself as social commentary on transhumanism. and that's all his fucking games are is several layers of social commentary stacked together in a trench coat like bojack's vincent adultman pretending to be a cohesive story.

& you know how I know it's social commentary?

BECAUSE THE FUCKING GAME IS ALSO ABOUT DRUG ADDICTION

oh did you forget about that part? yeah, it's because it was handled poorly and it didn't matter and only served to get woke points.

D:BH is just a mess from a purely conceptual standpoint, and that's why it's fucking horrible.

but

if you like it then that's fine because quantic dream are a fantastic studio that produce just *chef's kiss* sublime work, given what they were working with. I put it on the same level that I put the twilight and harry potter films, because they took steaming piles of shit and made them sparkle.

...g... get it? because... because the vampires... they sparkle. that's the joke ignore me

I'm not gonna treat you badly if you like the game because I like parts of it but please please acknowledge that it's a downright mess

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heyyyharry · 4 years

Text

Chapter 3: The Things We Do for Love

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which Harry and Y/N get into a fight, and she thinks her ex still has feelings for her.

Word count: 5.4k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Warning: This chapter contains smut (not that any of you cares tho 😂)

Wattpad link (original character: Thea as Y/N)

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Y/N nodded as she gulped down the rest of her champagne and gave her empty glass to a waiter who walked past her and Harry.

As the party got more crowded, she got more impatient. There was something about partying with celebrities that made her feel exhausted, and she couldn’t wait for it to be over so she could go home.

She supposed Harry felt the same way. After all, they were only there because his manager had put them on the guest list. The host was a famous new director named Finley and Jeff didn’t want his client to waste such a good networking opportunity. And she, of course, was trying to be the supportive girlfriend he deserved.

He interlocked their fingers and brought her hand to his mouth, giving it a kiss. “If you want, we can leave.”

“Don’t worry. I’m good,” she said, faking a smile.

“Are you sure?” He arched an eyebrow. “Honestly, I don’t really want to be here either. So if you want to go—”

Before Harry could finish the sentence, his eyes stopped at the entrance where he saw Isaac walk in with his manager Lee.

“What is Isaac doing here?” Y/N asked. She was surprised, but Harry wasn’t.

“He photographed Finley last week. I should’ve known he was invited too.”

“Go talk to him then.” She tugged at his arm. “About your dad, remember?”

Harry hesitated for a second as if he was having second thoughts, but then he inhaled deeply and turned back to her. “Are you sure you’ll be fine on your own?”

“Yes. I’m not a kid, H.”

“To me you are.”

She rolled her eyes as he pecked her cheek and was about to leave when he remembered something. “Forgot to say I love you.” He kissed her once more, this time on the lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said. “Now go.”

Harry gave her a wink and made his way across the crowded room to Isaac.

Y/N was anticipating how their conversation would turn out, but an unfamiliar voice caught her attention.

“Ms Y/L/N.”

She turned around. It took her less than two seconds to recognise the man, but she decided to play it cool by only giving him a smile and letting him introduce himself.

“John Conall. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr Conall.”

They shook hands and he said, “I’m a friend of Harry’s and I’ve heard so much about you.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me he was friends with John freaking Conall!” That sentence wasn’t meant to be said aloud, but Y/N was too elated to help herself and lucky for her, Conall didn’t seem to mind.

“You’ve heard of me?” he asked.

“Of course, you are a famous actor, best-selling author, and one of the best literary agents,” she said, trying to contain her excitement by taking in a shaky breath. “I’m actually a big fan of your works, Mr Conall.”

“Please, call me John,” he said and looked over her shoulder to spot Harry talking to Isaac. “Harry’s mentioned that you’re a writer.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call myself--”

“Honey, I’ve read your manuscript. You are a writer.”

Y/N turned completely paralysed as she heard those words. She looked at him, her eyes widened, her mouth agape. She almost had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

“You have?”

He nodded. “Harry sent it to me, and I loved every part of it. I heard it was inspired by your actual relationship, right?”

“I’ve told him not to go telling everyone about that but...yes, it was.” She shyly giggled. “May I ask, what was your favourite part?”

Conall took about a second to think, tapping a finger on his lips. “I cannot just choose one, but the ending was brilliant. We all love a happy ending.”

If Y/N had been on cloud nine just a second ago, now she’d hit the ground and continued falling. Conall’s favourite part could not be the story’s happy ending, because there wasn’t one.

Her book ended with the lovers saying their last goodbye and the man driving away from their hometown and never looking back. She and Harry hadn’t got a real chance to say goodbye last year so she’d given them one in her imagination. Eventually, she’d decided to keep that ending because it was perfect for the story.

Conall had lied to her. He had never read her book. And as disappointed as she was, she was not surprised at all. She glanced at her boyfriend who gave her a smile, and all she felt was a big lump in her throat and a turning stomach.

“So if you’re ever interested in working with me--”

“I’m very flattered, John, but...I’m gonna have to turn you down,” Y/N said.

From the look on Conall’s face, she knew she would never get a second chance to work with him in the future. She might regret it tomorrow when she’d forgiven Harry, but she could never forgive herself if she'd got her first book deal because her boyfriend was famous.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. I can’t let Gemma meet him,” Harry said as he took another sip of champagne and rubbed his fingers around the rim of the glass.

Isaac chewed on his bottom lip, staring at Harry for a long moment as if giving him another chance to change his mind. But when he said nothing, Isaac finally gave a nod. “All right, I’ll tell Emilia you want to meet them.”

“Thank you,” Harry said as they clinked their glasses and finished their drinks. “So...you and Emilia…”

“Are just friends.”

“I wasn’t gonna say that you weren’t.”

“Oh, please. I know you H.” Isaac lifted an eyebrow as he smirked. “Is this still about Y/N and I? Because we’re also just friends.”

“No, this is about you.” Harry chuckled. “I just want to know how you’re doing.”

He honestly couldn’t remember the last time they’d told each other about what was happening in their lives. They used to be so close. And even though Harry had hated Isaac last year, he’d also missed him a lot. It was nice to finally get to know him again.

“I’m doing great,” Isaac said, his lips curved into a smile. “What about you and Y/N? Good?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” Harry said as his eyes travelled back to his girlfriend, who was now standing with John Conall. He saw her looking and gave her a smile, to which she responded with another one and immediately looked away. Something seemed odd. But he didn’t think too much about it.

“Did you have anything to do with that?”

“With what?” He raised an eyebrow at Isaac, who let out a slight chuckle and pointed to Y/N and the man.

“That’s John fucking Conall. You know what I’m talking about, H.”

“Okay, maybe...a little,” Harry breathed as he combed his fingers through his unruly hair. “Please don’t tell her. I just wanted to help her out because you know how cutthroat the publishing industry is.”

“Be careful, mate. Y/N’s a smart girl. She’ll find out on her own.”

Isaac’s warning worried Harry quite a bit, but now all he could do was hope he’d done the right thing.

“Hey,” he changed the subject as soon as another one crossed his mind, “you should know that she didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Do what?”

“Tell me about Emilia,” he said, carefully studying Isaac’s expression. “Don’t be mad at her. She feels terrible about it.”

“I can’t stay mad at her. You know how she is.”

When Isaac saw the look on Harry‘s face, he couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Don’t worry. I don’t love her anymore, at least not the same way you do.”

“No offence but I don’t worry about you anymore,” Harry snorted, giving his empty glass to a waiter. “Before we came to your house that night, she was going to tell me about her other ex, but I freaked her out and she blurted out about Emilia.”

“Wait,” Isaac narrowed his eyes. “Blake?”

“Yup. He’s her neighbour now.”

“Shit, really?”

“Yeah.” Harry exhaled sharply. “Did she tell you a lot about him when you two were...together?”

“Kind of,” Isaac said. “I mean, he was a big part of her life. She said she wouldn’t be who she was if she hadn’t met him.

A big part of her life, the voice inside Harry’s heart mockingly repeated the words. Fuck Blake Roman. Why didn’t that kid just stay in the US?

As if Isaac could hear Harry’s thoughts, he grabbed his shoulder and shook it slightly. “He’s your problem now though.”

“You’re such a good friend.”

“Just kidding. I wouldn’t worry about him if I were you. Blake might have been a big part of her life--”

“Can you stop saying that?”

“Sorry,” Isaac breathed out a laugh. “But believe me, H. What you two had then and what you have now cannot be replicated. Just believe in yourself.”

Isaac’s pep talk had somehow put Harry at ease, but only for temporary. When he finally said goodbye to Isaac and walked back to Y/N, the first thing she said to him was that she wanted to leave. He assumed she was tired. But her silence had maintained all the way to the car, and for the entire drive back to her place, which made him wonder what John Conall had said to her back at the party.

He knew how much she admired the man, so she should’ve been thrilled and gone on and on forever about meeting him. Was she really tired, or was she upset because she knew he had something to do with it? Shit. What if Isaac was right? She’d probably figured it out.

“I saw you talking to John Conall earlier,” he said as she unbuckled her seatbelt. They were right outside her building and he feared she would run off without answering him, but Y/N stayed still in the passenger seat.

“Tell me you didn’t do it,” she said, looking straight ahead.

"Kid..." his voice lowered.

She turned to him. He almost told her he’d done it for her, but when he looked into those big round eyes and saw his own reflection. He knew she didn’t want to hear a reason. She was disappointed and offended and hurt. So how could he look her in the eye and say he’d done it for her?

“I’m sorry,” Harry uttered, his eyes fell to her hand as he reached out to touch it, but she pulled away and got out of the car.

He parked it there and chased after her. “Wait, Bambi, wait!”

“Go home, Harry. I’m tired.” She walked faster to get away from him but he refused to give up and followed her into the building.

“Let's talk about it. Tell me how much you hate me. Yell at me! Just--”

��Oh, you want me to yell at you?” Y/N laughed angrily as she rushed up the stairs with him running right behind. “What pissed me off wasn’t you taking me to that party to put on that shit show but it was you underestimating me! You of all people!”

“I don’t!”

“You fucking do!” She stopped and turned around to stab a finger at him. “You think my book is shit and no literary agent would want me unless it was because of you!”

“No! I just wanted to help!” He quickly caught her hands, but she pushed him away and continued running. He followed, panting heavily. His heart was pounding against his chest but it wasn’t only because he was racing her up five floors.

“We’re not doing this again, Bambi!”

“Fuck no, we’re not! I can’t even look at you right now.” She stopped in front of her flat, catching her breath, but Harry took the key from her hand before she could unlock the door. “Hey, give it back!”

He straightened his arm to raise it high above his head. “Please let me apologise.”

“Harry," her expression hardened, "give me the key or we’re done.”

He knew she didn’t mean it, but she always said crazy things when she was angry, and he knew better than to upset her even more. He released a sigh, put the key back into her hand, and before either of them could say another word, they heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

Blake stopped as soon as he realised that Y/N and Harry were fighting.

“Hi, Blake,” she said and walked straight into her flat, leaving the door open for Harry.

The two men shared an awkward moment of silence in that hallway. But right as Blake opened his mouth to speak, Harry immediately followed his girlfriend.

He locked the door, standing with his back against it to watch her kick off her high heels and toss her clutch onto the floor. As she flopped down on the sofa and buried her head in her hands, he quietly approached.

She didn’t flinch, not even when he dropped down on his knees in front of her and took her hands away from her head.

“I’m sorry. Please look at me.”

She shook her head, her voice trembled, “you think I’m a loser…”

“No, baby, I don’t…”

He cupped her chin, tilting her face slightly upward so he could look her in the eye. His Bambi was already on the verge of tears. She tend to get softer when she drank and he’d always liked that, but not tonight, not right now.

Frowning, he tucked a strand behind her ear and spoke softly, “Conall asked me to attend his daughter’s birthday because she was a fan, so I asked him for a favour and sent him your manuscript. I didn’t ‘buy’ you a chance with him if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“He didn’t even read it, H,” she said at last, rubbing her nose.

“What?” His eyes went round.

“He said he did but he only lied to win you over.”

Harry stiffened at once. He turned away to curse under his breath and then cupped her cheeks. “I can’t believe he did that, baby. I’m sorry. We’ll find you another agent, yeah?”

“No.” She stood up, stepping away from him. “I will. You stay out of this. I don’t want to depend on my boyfriend, okay? I don’t want to drive his Ferrari, wear his Gucci clothes and live in his big mansion!”

When she mentioned his mansion, he was at a loss for words, and she immediately realised how bad it sounded as he’d just asked her to move in with him not so long ago.

“I’m sorry.” She stood with her head hung and a hand on her forehead. “I-I didn’t mean that. I just…”

“It’s okay. Maybe I should leave.”

Harry took a step forward, but Y/N got in the way. She caught his wrist before he could walk past her, and right before he could even think, she pressed her mouth against his. She kissed him hungrily. He didn’t bother to question and caught her effortlessly as she jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. He took her tongue into his mouth, stumbling backwards until she hit the front door.

They kissed harder as she dug her nails into his broad back. She was only wearing a silk slip dress which made it easy for him to just pull it off and toss it somewhere in her living room.

Once her panties came off, she was completely naked, sandwiched between him and the door. Her bedroom was just a few steps away, but his mind was already clouded by the thought of fucking her against this door and having her scream his name so that all of her neighbours could hear it. Blake could hear it. And he believed she was well aware of his intention. But if anything, it only turned her on.

Y/N only broke the kiss once to unbutton his shirt and pull it off his shoulders. Their mouths collided again. She sucked on his tongue, tracing her palms across the ink on his chest, down to his abs and then to his cock, pulling it free as she pushed his pants right past his bum. Her fingers tightened around his hardened length, making him gasp and buckle his hips against her hand.

One arm locked around her waist, Harry fucked himself in sync with her slow strokes and snuck his other hand between them to squeeze her breast and tease her nipple.

“You’re so warm,” she moaned against his lips when his cock twitched in her palm and he slipped his fingers between their bodies to feel her arousal.

“So are you...And you’re dripping...God, fuck,” he inhaled deeply, dipping two fingers in with no trouble. Her mouth fell open as she started riding them while stroking his cock.

“I need it...Need you inside.” She tossed her head back, squirming. Their skin was slick with sweat, and he was too horny to pay attention to this uncomfortable position they were in. He kissed her hard on the mouth, looking down between them to watch her guide him to her hot entrance. She was so wet but also so tight, and the way she squeezed around the swollen head of his cock made him go frenzy.

He fucked her slow at first, not wanting to hurt her. But as she started thrusting down on him, he picked up the pace and fucked her harder. She was moaning his name just the way he wanted as he bent his knees to hit that spot over and over again. She felt so good around him that he could barely open his eyes, but he had to. He had to look at her face when she came.

“Say you’re mine,” he growled, making her nod rapidly.

“Yours. I’m yours.”

“Fuck yes, you are. And I’m yours. All yours.”

He fucked her hard and fast, not wanting this to end but she felt so good, he couldn’t help it. He slipped his hand down to rub her clit, making her hip jolt up only to drop back down on his dick, both of them groaned loudly.

When she came, she was chanting his name, gripping his shoulders tightly as he sucked a nipple into his mouth and chased his own orgasm. He fucked his cum into her, his forehead pressed against her shoulder as he tried to catch his breath and bring himself back down to earth.

After a moment, he slipped out. They stayed in that position and looked into each other’s eyes without exchanging a single word. His heart was like a drum, he could hear it beating in his ear as he waited for her to snap out of it and tell him to go.

But then she cupped his face and murmured, “let’s take a shower and go to sleep.”

Harry freaked out a little. “What about--”

“We can talk about it tomorrow, H. It’s fine.” She traced her finger along the bridge of his nose to calm him down and leaned in to give him a chaste kiss. “Let’s get some rest and then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t know if it was a good thing to wait until tomorrow, but if she said it was fine, then it should be fine.

“Okay. Tomorrow then.”

Smiling, Y/N rested her cheek on his shoulder and let him carry her into the bedroom.

“Mr Whitney.”

“Y/N! Sit down, please.”

“Thank you, but it’ll be quick,” Y/N said as she put a paper folder on her English teacher’s desk.

Whitney looked up, beaming at the sixteen-year-old. “You’ve finished your book, I see.”

“It’s just the first few chapters actually. I want you to be the first to read it,” she said.

He picked up the folder, staring at it for a second before putting it in his bag. “I’ll read it tonight.”

That was all Y/N had wanted to hear. She’d always admired Whitney. Not only was he a great teacher, but he used to be a writer as well. She’d read some of his books, and they were so good it made her wonder why he was a teacher and not a famous author. Anyway, she was glad he was her teacher and she was his favourite.

On Tuesday of the following week, Y/N had another class with Whitney. She was so excited to finally read his feedback so she showed up at school earlier than usual. On the way to class, however, she ran into him.

“Y/N!”

Blake Roman, aka The Troublemaker. Why was he talking to her outside the classroom? And why was he even in school? He was always in the car park smoking and drinking with his mates. It was none of her business though. They weren’t friends.

“Gee, didn’t you hear me calling your name? Because everyone did,” Blake said as he finally caught up with her.

She didn’t look at him even though they were walking side by side. “We did one project together, Blake. We’re not friends.”

“We’re not. Promise.” He smirked but then grabbed her hand and spun her around. “I just want to give you this.”

Y/N was about to scold him for wasting her time, but when she saw what he was holding, she turned speechless.

“This is yours, right? Your name is on it. Anyway, I think it’s good, why did you throw it away?”

“Where did you find it?” She snatched the folder from his hand. He didn’t understand why she was mad, but it seemed like he knew that he shouldn’t have found this folder.

“In the car park,” he said.

“Where in the car park?” she asked, her eyebrows pulled together. Don’t worry, she told herself, Mr Whitney might have dropped it on the way to his car and--

“In the trash bin.”

Those three words felt like a hard kick in her stomach. Y/N exhaled sharply as her face twisted. “It couldn’t be...I-I gave it to Mr Whitney…”

Blake was quiet for a second. He was smarter than people assumed he was, and it didn’t take him too long to figure out what was happening. He shoved his hand in his hair and released a long sigh as he muttered, “shit…”

Y/N said nothing else. She pushed right past Blake and stormed to Whitney’s classroom. Despite Blake calling out her name, she didn’t look back.

“Mr Whitney.”

She burst through the door. Her teacher didn’t notice she was acting differently so he said, “good morning, Y/N,” and continued organising his desk.

Y/N walked toward him, gripping the straps of her bag as she couldn’t stop thinking about Blake finding her folder in the trash bin. “Hey, um...I want to ask about my story. I wonder if you’ve read it.”

Whitney stilled for a second.

Her mother had told her that good liars only needed a second to come up with a good lie, and that was how she knew what he was about to say would make her hate him even more.

“Of course I’ve read it. But I haven’t got time to write you some comments.”

She supposed he would continue using that excuse until she forgot about the story and stopped bothering him.

As a few other classmates entered the room, Y/N faked a smile, thanked the teacher and went to her seat. The image of the man she’d been idolising for a whole year had crumbled down before her eyes, and not only did she felt extremely disappointed, she also felt bad about herself.

Y/N and Harry didn't get to have the conversation she’d promised in the morning. He’d got a work call at 5 AM and left before she woke up. He’d left her a text, saying he loved her and that they would talk when he got back so she decided not to think too much about it for now.

She’d already spent the whole night replaying the conversation with Conall inside her head. Although it had hurt her as much as what had happened a long time ago with her English teacher, she knew if she wanted to succeed, she must not give up easily.

It was Sunday, and she’d got no other important plans, so she decided to put those negative thoughts aside and start editing her manuscript.

After two hours of writing, her doorbell rang. She already could’ve guessed who it was, but she didn’t expect to see a sweaty Blake in his running clothes.

“This is embarrassing but,” he said, giving her a tired smile, “my shower broke. Can I use yours?”

“Yeah. Sure.” She agreed without reluctance.

“Thanks. I’ll go get my clothes,” Blake said and hurriedly went back to his flat.

Y/N supposed if Harry had been there, he would’ve said Blake was lying. But she’d lived in this estate long enough to know how awful the facilities were, and her shower had broken way too many times before so she knew the struggle was real.

The bathroom was in her bedroom, so while Blake was in the shower, she sat at her desk to work on the book. She was so concentrated that she didn’t even hear him come out.

“Hey,” his voice made her jump. They both burst of laughing as she shoved him away.

Blake apologised as he took a seat on the edge of her bed and looked at her laptop screen. “Oh, you’re writing a book?”

“I’m rewriting a book, actually.” She breathed, pinching her temple. “I thought I’d finished it, but it sucked so now I’m rewriting the whole thing.”

“Where are you at?”

“Chapter One.”

“Want some feedback?”

She turned to give him a smile. “Sure.”

He scooted over for her to bring her laptop to the bed and sit down by his side. Before handing it to him, she looked into his eyes and said with a serious expression, “I want your most honest and brutal comments. Do you think you can be honest and brutal?”

“I’m a law student, Y/N. That’s my job.” Blake cracked his knuckles, making her laugh. “Now, show me what you’ve got.”

For all those years Y/N had been in school, she had never been called to the principal's office. She was the type of student who followed the rules, got good grades and hoped it would get her into a good university after graduation. So when she heard her name on the speaker in the hallway, she believed it was only a big misunderstanding.

She walked to the assistant’s desk, her heart was beating so fast as the woman looked up and gave her a smile.

“Hi, I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I’m here to—”

“Oh, Ms Y/L/N! Sorry for the misunderstanding,” the lady said, to her surprise. “Your friend said you had nothing to do with it and he’s taken all the blame. You can get back to class.”

“Wait, what?”

The door suddenly creaked open and Y/N was startled to see Blake walk out from the principal’s office. They held each other’s gaze for a full second and Blake was the first one to break it as he walked right past her, out of the room.

“What did he do?” she asked the lady who was shaking her head at the boy.

“He took Mr Whitney’s phone, locked him in the classroom and only let the poor man out once he’d read your story.”

Y/N was left speechless. Then she snapped out of it and rushed out of the room to chase Blake down the hall.

“Wait! Stop!”

He didn’t stop walking but he did slow down for her to catch up. “You’re chasing after me. How the table has turned.”

“Detention?” she asked, looking up to read his face but he didn’t look at her.

“Yeah.”

His one-word answer made her giggle.

“What’s so funny?”

“I can’t believe you locked a teacher in the classroom. That was childish.”

“Yeah, it was.” He agreed, laughing and scratching the back of his head. “But it worked. He left a lot of comments for your story.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I’ll give you back the folder later. I’ve read those comments by the way. They weren’t bullshit.”

“Thank you.” She shyly smiled, but he didn’t see it for he was staring straight ahead. They continued walking together and it was Y/N who broke the silence, “why did you do it? What’s in it for you?”

Blake took some time to think as he took a deep breath. “Well, nothing. Whenever I decide to help someone, I only need to find two good reasons to do it.”

“What are the two reasons in my case?” she asked when he sank back to silence.

He lifted his shoulders. “I’ve read the story and I think it’s great. I think you’ve worked hard for it and therefore deserve respect and recognition.”

“Wow, thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And the second reason?”

This time, he stopped and turned to face her at last. “I like you.”

“What?”

“That’s the second reason, Y/N. I like you.”

Y/N opened her mouth to respond but instantly realised she didn’t know what to say. It seemed like he didn’t need her to say anything though. He only wanted to let her know.

“See you later.”

Blake waved goodbye and then he was gone, leaving her standing there like a scarecrow on an empty field. And for the first time in her life, her heart was racing for another boy.

Y/N finished three chapters with Blake’s help and it was only 3 PM. She had never been more productive and she wanted to continue, but Blake suggested that they should take a little break to relax and clear their minds.

“Thanks for helping me out,” she said, pouring him a cup of tea.

“You’re welcome.” He grinned.

Y/N watched him blow into his cup, staring attentively at the tattoo of her initial. They hadn’t met in three years, so why was he still so nice to her? She felt her stomach twist at the thought.

What if...

“Why are you doing this?” she blurted.

The question didn’t surprise Blake. He looked her in the eye as if he’d been expecting it and calmly said, “because I believe in you. If the shit bomb called Fifty Shades of Grey is a bestseller, then so should your brilliant book.”

What is the second reason, Blake? she asked herself when he sank back to silence.

But then her ringtone interrupted the conversation. She looked down at the screen and saw ‘BoYfRiEnD’.

“Excuse me.” Y/N grabbed the phone, but Blake got up at the same time she did.

“I better go,” he said. “Thank you for letting me use your shower.”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” she said and watched him head back to the front door. “Thank you for today!”

Blake didn’t respond or even look back. And the door fell shut behind him.

Y/N was on the fence about telling Harry about today. She’d pondered it for the entire afternoon after the phone call with him, and eventually decided to be honest because there should be no secrets between them.

Harry came over at around 7 PM. He looked exhausted, but went straight to her for a kiss and gave her the flowers he’d bought on his way back from the film studio.

“Before you say anything, I just want to say I’m very very very sorry,” he whispered, hugging her waist. “I know I’m...too much sometimes. It could be overwhelming to be with me. I wasn’t good at being in a relationship in the past, and I’m trying not to let my mistakes ruin us again. I’m being too careful and...I’m well aware that I’m driving you away by trying too hard to not disappoint you. I’m gonna change, I promise. Please be patient with me.”

She waited for him to finish and pecked him on the lips, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m not Mr Finny or Ruby, love. I’m your Bambi. I’m not gonna leave you because you love me too much. But you still gotta have more faith in yourself, in me, and also us.”

Harry nodded fast and nudged her nose with his. “I didn’t know Conall wouldn’t even read it...If I had known, I wouldn’t have asked for his help.”

“It’s okay. Let’s forget about it,” she sighed. “I’ve rewritten the first three chapters today. Would you like to read it?”

“Sure.”

“Blake came over this morning and helped me.”

When Harry pulled away to arch an eyebrow at her, she dissolved into laughter. “Relax, babe. His shower broke so he asked to use mine.”

“His shower broke?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the lamest excuse people use in porn.”

“Harry.” She glowered and he rolled his eyes, letting out a long breath.

“Okay, sorry.”

Y/N playfully smacked his shoulder before kissing his cheek and pulling him to the sofa. They sat down together as she turned on her laptop.

“Does he know the main character is me?” he asked. “Because you should tell him the next time he comes over because ‘his shower broke again’.”

Seeing him do the air quotes made her cackle. “I think he knows. It’s clear that I’m so in love with you,” she said, placing the laptop on his lap and resting her head on his shoulder.

“Good girl.” He grinned. “Someone deserves to have their pussy eaten tonight.”

Y/N quickly pulled away. “Okay, I love you except for when you ruin romantic moments with stupid sex jokes.”

“It’s not a joke if I’m actually gonna eat your pussy tonight. But you know what? I’m actually hungry now.”

“Just read the damn story, asshole.” She laughed, grabbing his face and turning it back to the laptop screen.

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