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buckybarnesss · 2 years

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originally this was to specifically be about lindsay monroe and trauma but it grew into so much more. basically i have feelings and opinions and by god i’m going to share them.

consider it my magnum opus: lindsay monroe, trauma, grief and putting the mess in messer

for ease of reading i’m going to divide this into separate posts because this bad boy is over 7k and pretty picture heavy. so each season will have it’s own post.

this is just for seasons 2-4. i’m unsure if i’m going to cover seasons 5-9 as of yet. i might.

shoutout to @peggysrogers, @macandstella, @frostysfrenzy, @iamslvplth and @sneetchestoo for keeping the csi ny love alive, liking my posts and talking about the show with me.

part 2 part 3

part one: hello, ms. monroe

the csi franchise never shied away from putting it’s characters through the wringer. after all, this was a prime time crime drama. death and trauma are part of the deal and csi ny pulled between 10-14 million viewers during its run. comparatively the og vegas pulled 20 million in its first few years and from seasons 8-15 it had similar numbers as ny. miami also had comparative numbers only edging ny out by a few million in its early seasons.

combining this with a 77% viewer score on rotten tomatoes and a 6.9 viewer rating on imdb it could be concluded that csi ny was always the quietly performing sister show of the franchise.

csi ny did a lot of character work over it’s nine seasons. sometimes it was successful and sometimes it was messy and sometimes it made me take psychic damage.

the writer's grasp of linear time is questionable at best. characters' ages make no sense and random siblings appear and disappear at a moment’s notice.

that is a tangent for another time however.

let’s talk about lindsay monroe (and her trauma).

lindsay is one of my favorite characters of all time and that’s a hill i’m willing to die on.

the writers didn’t always acknowledge lindsay’s trauma. surprisingly they did make it fairly consistent throughout the entire series when they did decide to acknowledge it.

when lindsay was introduced in season 2 they spent a lot of time establishing her character and relationships but also hinted at her Big Trauma™ and quite early on.

i was honestly surprised by how early it was.

she’s introduced in the 3rd episode of season 2 zoo york and by episode 7 manhattan manhunt they’re already hinting at what happened to her.

she’s irritated that mac sent her back to the lab which she complains is because she’s the new girl and danny counters that he believes mac is trying to protect her from the grizzly scene at the endicott place. lindsay takes offense to this suggestion and says that she's seen a lot worse.

at this particular point in the show it’s left to interpretation as to if mac knew about lindsay’s past before she told him in the lying game. her past is even mentioned in the commentary of the episode on the dvd by anthony zuiker who has this to say about it:

“she has a whole interesting, dark backstory so although you can’t sniff it out here she definitely has issues with what she just saw.”

there’s a few hints sprinkled here and there through the next few episodes. such as bad beat when she’s listening to the 911 call of a reported gunshot. she’s clearly remembering something that makes her uncomfortable.

it’s really not till we get into the trauma juggernaut that is the back half of season 2 that we get something real meaty.

her behavior in stealing home regarding the sarah butler case is a whole lotta projection.

sarah is not only a mirror of herself but she’s also seeing her friends in sarah. their lives like sarah’s were cut short by an act of random violence.

we find out in slight out of hand one of the girls killed was even named sarah but the writers don’t have a good track record with their naming conventions (ie: see the lucy debacle) so i can believe that it was just them pulling a name out of their asses and got lucky with the parallel. or it was deliberate. i’ll be generous and say it was a deliberate call back to the sarah butler case.

i love the scene she has with mac where he tells her that “sometimes bad things happen to good people and we don’t get to know why.”

it’s a recurring theme and maybe even the show’s underlying thesis statement. there’s not always a perfect answer or solution. sometimes you just don’t get to know why.

this is echoed in flack’s quote from season 7:

“thieves get rich. saints get shot. and god doesn’t always answer your prayers.”

in stealing home lindsay can’t let it go though and it’s the lack of answers that drives her to visit james vackner demanding to know why sarah but james vackner like daniel katums refuses to provide any answers.

this scene is later mirrored in late admissions in season 9 with daniel katums.

the composition of the shots frames lindsay just as imprisoned as either vackner or katums and.in both instances they deny her the closure of knowing why.

the thing about lindsay in season 2 is that she’s a remarkably positive character. she’s eager, enthusiastic, playful and spunky. watching season 2 with the knowledge of her past puts into perspective that despite this terrible thing that happened to her she is still optimistic and positive.

she brought out a softer, funnier side of mac as we see with her really loving to do reconstructions with him as her test subject. she challenged danny to be better. she proved he didn’t know mac as well as he thought he did in stuck on you, that she wouldn’t back down from a challenge in fare game, and watching him grow to care about her well being in all access, stealing home and charge of this post showed a more gentle side to him than previously seen.

lindsay wouldn’t have worked in season 1. the first season of the show had a more oppressive atmosphere that i don’t think lindsay’s character would’ve worked well within. not saying it couldn’t be done but season 1 was definitely a lot darker both literally and tonally.

lindsay was a jolt of energy to the show. her arrival coupled with sheldon moving into the field opened up new possibilities and dynamics amongst the team. even more importantly, lindsay was very different from aiden burn.

she matched the brighter tone of season 2. not just in her sunny disposition but her wardrobe was filled with pastels, floral prints and light colors.

these are some of my favorites. which is basically all of them. consider this the lindsay monroe fashion hour.

pink striped button up from zoo york.

blue floral printed sweater from corporate warriors.

white button up from youngblood.

the purple sweater from city of the dolls. she also wears this in necrophilia americana.

the green little scoop neck with the white shirt underneath from jamalot and superman.

the cute little white and pink top under this sweater from risk.

this cute sweater from stuck on you.

her blue sweater and top from fare game.

the teal gossamer wrap from cool hunter.

green blouse and white camisole in live and let die.

the green jacket over a white top from charge of this post.

and the pink sweater from charge of this post.

basically lindsay owns a lot of cute sweaters and i covet them all.

i am also of the opinion that there were too many cynical new yorkers on the show in season 1. between danny, flack and aiden it could be a little much. additionally, while danny and aiden’s dynamic was very sibling-like and they worked well together, neither of them brought out anything new or remarkable in the other person.

lindsay and danny’s dynamic in season 2 brought out something new in danny. especially after season 1 where danny had a very bad, no good, horrible time with the minhas shooting, losing his position on the promotion grid and falling out of mac’s good graces. the trust between them really grew over the course of the season. what started as teasing and good-natured hazing on danny’s part quickly became genuine affection. no one will ever convince me he didn’t have a crush almost on sight and didn’t know how to deal with it hence the whole montana nickname. once they became a couple, he could call her pet names like honey, sweetie and babe thereby no longer needing to hide his affection behind the nickname.

for lindsay’s part, she began to trust him over the course of the season. city of the dolls, risk, stuck on you, fare game and cool hunter do a lot to establish their evolving friendship. this comes to a head in run silent, run deep. she goes to him with the dna results before she even goes to mac which totally had to be a breach in protocol. she’s the one who processes louie messer’s personal items and she’s the one danny was looking to for reassurance when mac was following procedure by placing him on desk duty and taking his badge.

somewhere along the way over season 2 they’d developed a pretty deep friendship and her support for danny was something he desperately needed. he needed someone who had unquestionable faith in him. it’s not even until this episode that i believe the rift between danny and mac was fully healed so lindsay was really doing the heavy lifting on danny’s emotional state in this season.

the season even ends with them paired together as a unit in one of the last scenes of charge of this post. lindsay became a part of the team effortlessly and seamlessly.

an aside here: the deleted kiss between them could technically be considered canon since they played it during their wedding montage in season 5. which they were absolutely feral for. It adds a sadder context to love runs cold. no wonder danny was so confused for the first half of season 3. i think it was the right decision to delete it from the episode but it was such a tease to put it in the wedding montage years later

absolutely feral for the production team to do this.

#my blog #csi ny #lindsay monroe #danny messer #lindsay monroe versus her trauma conga line #otp: diamonds or twine #i've lost control of my life

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sinsbymanka · 3 years

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Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you.

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection.

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex).

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves).

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs.

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of.

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely.

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper.

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash.

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT.

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin.

What are your writing strengths?

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time.

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything?

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing.

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously.

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art.

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are.

So, my top three fics for THAT reason:

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do.

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3

And then my overall favorite fic:

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.

#manka writes #writer tag game thing

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misterewrites · 3 years

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Bonding (Kainora week)

Hey everyone! E here and with a special oneshot ! My friend is help running kainora week over here @kainora-week and I agreed to at least write one thing for her so it is day 3: Formal Wear.

Set between season 3 and 4, Jinora is asked to make an appearance at a Earth Kingdom Noble party as a part of a deal to ensure they turn over power to Prince Wu when the chaos finally is under controlled. Kai is tagging along and isn't exactly thrilled about the idea.

That's it for me, almost done with the next underground chapter but till then enjoy, have a great week, stay safe, wash your hands and wear your masks!

if you want a easier place to find and read it, check it out over here at https://archiveofourown.org/works/30242472

“Are you mad at me? This has to be some kind of punishment. Some kind of cruel torture for all the scams I ran. Mako put you up to this, didn’t he? Jinora how could you?!”

Jinora let out a tired sigh “Kai, you’re being more dramatic than Ikki.”

The master airbender gently fixed her boyfriend’s collar, loosening it to allow her fellow airbender actually breath.

Kai took a deep breath, ignoring the burning sensation he felt in his cheeks “More dramatic than Ikki? Now you’re just trying to hurt me. Sorry!” he rose his hands in surrender at Jinora’s raised eyebrow “I-I just never dealt with this.” he gestured to his formal Earth Kingdom Attire.

“I know” Jinora agreed softly, smoothing out the wrinkles in the clothing “But you’re going have to. At least for tonight.”

“I don’t see why I have to go.” Kai fumed “It’s just a stupid party for a bunch of crusty nobles.”

“This is more than that.” Jinora’s voice became firm “With the chaos in the Earth Kingdom, alliances are important. These nobles are agreeing to turn over their power to Prince Wu when Kurvira finally calms everything down.”

Kai scoffed, rolling his eyes with distaste “Rich people giving something up willingly? And I’m a pink platypus bear.”

Kai’s blush worsened as Jinora playfully pinched his cheeks “My cute platypus bear and now you’re pink.”

“So.” Kai replied quickly, trying to hide his embarrassment “Is your dad okay with this? Me and you on this mission. Alone. Together.”

Jinora gave a halfhearted shrug “If he’s got a problem with this, then he’s got a problem. There’s no real option. With all the turmoil in the Earth Kingdom, we’re already stretched thin. Dad needed an airbending master here to show we support this show of unity and since he’s busy trying to negotiate with the spirits in Republic City, it’s me. It isn’t like we have another master just laying about.”

“And me? Why am I here?”

“Because” Jinora answered simply “Having someone born and raised in the Earth Kingdom might keep the nobles calm.”

Kai was not convinced by that response “You’re aware I hate the Earth Kingdom, right? You’re really telling me no one else was available? Not even Otaku?”

Jinora gave sly grin “Well, I didn’t exactly tell anyone else.”

“I’m a terrible influence on you.”

“And I’m a positive one for you. Balances out. As all things should be.”

“And I’m guessing he made you promise no romantic hijinks on this trip?”

“I made no so such promise.”

Kai cracked a smile “Alright, maybe it won’t be as bad as I think it’ll be.”

-----

“It’s worse.” Kai huffed, eyeing the giggling group of noblewomen with disdain.

Kai knew it was going to be a terrible time the moment they were announced to the rest of the party: Everyone spared them a single glimpse then proceeded to ignore them.

“Not a very friendly bunch, huh?” Jinora murmured awkwardly.

Kai scoffed dismissively “Don’t take it personally. They’re jerks to everyone.”

“I guess…”

Kai glanced to his girlfriend, the frown on her lips tugging at his heartstrings. He yawned loudly, knocking Jinora out of her stupor. She tilted her head quizzically at him and flushed a bright red when he wrapped an arm around her lovingly.

“Kai! What are you doing?! There’s people around.”

He couldn’t help but smile at how easily he could make his airbending master and general badass girlfriend turn a lovely shade of red.

“You can’t sulk, that’s my job. You’re the eternal sunshine ball remember?”

“True….” Jinora replied though unconvinced by Kai’s words.

Kai nudged her softly “Really. You shouldn’t take these people seriously. Most of them made their money by just existing, living off their family’s legacy and doing nothing with it. But you?”

Jinora felt Kai’s hand slip into hers and give it a squeeze.

“You’re a master airbender.” Kai beamed with pride “You are the granddaughter of avatar and you didn’t just sit on his legacy. You’re changing the world, you’ve saved the world. You can talk to spirits and you make a cute spirit projection thingy.”

Jinora’s fake smile melted into a real one.

Kai’s cheeks were tinged with pink but he didn’t stop “You have done amazing things, selfless things. Don’t let anyone make you feel lesser especially these plebes. I think we wasted enough of our time. We made our appearance and I think it’s safe to assume the nobles are going to keep their promise. They probably wanted to say they got an airbender to show up so they can boast to their friends.”

Before either of them could stand, the group of giggling noblewomen made their way over with a glint of familiarity in their gaze.

“You there!” The oldest one called, pointed at Kai as if he was an attraction at the zoo.

“It’s Kai.” He muttered with barely contained rage.

“Whatever.” She waved him off, uninterested “I’ve seen you before.”

“I doubt it.”

“Yes I have.” The woman insisted “I know have and since I’ve had the finest education, I know I’m right.”

Kai bit his tongue. This was an important mission and it was important to keep civil. Jinora should be proud of him given his usual response was to run away or throw an ill timed comment.

“You were a bus boy.” The noblewoman said with such certainty

“No. I doubt he’d have the hand eye coordination.” one of her friends sneered.

“And that hair?” the other chuckled cruelly “No one would’ve hired him.”

“True.” The leader replied coolly “But I know I’ve seen you somewhere. Somewhere embarrassing.”

“Kai…” Jinora whispered but he was too caught up keeping his rage in check to notice his girlfriend tugging at his sleeve.

“You were poor!” The noblewoman beamed cheerfully. She stood up proudly as if somehow her outburst was something of worth.

Kai’s cheeks burned brightly with a mixture of shame and rage but the trio paid him no mind.

“Yes.” The noblewoman continued, unaware of the rising tensions she had caused “You were out somewhere in the countryside. Some armpit little town daddy was forced to visit and dragged poor me along.”

Her lackeys cooed comfortingly.

“You were doing these little flips and tricks in hopes people would give you money. Of course you barely got a thing so naturally your clothes were just awful. No flair, no style. No wonder I didn’t recognize you. These fancy duds are nice but I’m guessing they’re borrowed. There is no way in a million years you could…”

“Stop it.”

Kai blinked, unsure he heard Jinora correctly. He never, ever in his several months knowing his girlfriend heard her speak with such a dangerous edge in her voice.

“What did you say?” The noblewoman turned up her nose, clearly offended at being interrupted “Do you know who I am? Who my father is?”

Jinora gave a false smile, its coldness sending chills down the trio’s spine.

“You missed the part where I cared.” she spoke with a steely calm “You will not disrespect my fellow airbender in this manner anymore.”

“Airbender?” The leader quizzically titled her head before realization dawn upon her “OH! You mean...him? And yourself?”

Jinora gestured to her traditional air nomad attire “So not only are you unnecessarily rude, you’re blind.”

“How dare...”

Jinora took a step forward, a vicious gust of wind trailing behind. The trio trembled under the sudden cool breeze.

“I understand you’ve lived a sheltered life.” Jinora spoke with the same cold smile “So I will say this once. There are more important things than your silly little shallow problems and the next time you think you can threaten me, I want you to remember I am not only an airbending master, I am the granddaughter of avatar Aang himself. It is my duty as an air nomad to enlighten and help people. Consider this your first lesson.”

Kai could feel his heartbeat speed up at the sight of his girlfriend, fierce and protective all for his sake.

Jinora held his hand tenderly as she motioned for them to leave “Come on Kai, let’s go have some real fun.”

“Yes sweetie.”

#kai #Jinora #kainora #kainora week 2021 #my story #oneshot

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 4 years

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The Supergirl Team calls you in despair. You’ve 2/3 episodes to save this season and leave a cliffhanger to the next season. You can do any ship, cut any actor, unlimited budget. What do you do?

My first call is to Brenda Strong, clearly. Lillian caustically provides Lena a reality check by not so subtly reminding her how Lex is an asshole and can't be trusted. She reveals she retained her pre-crisis memories, and remembers more than Lex deigned to tell her.

Lena is unimpressed, and dryly remarks, "And now you finally get to see everything Lex should have been. You must be thrilled."

"Yes, I do," Lillian affirms. "But a victory without sacrifice isn't victory. It's a handout."

Luthors don't accept handouts.

Lena stares at her mother, confused and wary. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Lex didn't earn it."

None of this was earned through toil. Lex chanced onto an opportunity and manipulated it to his utmost ability. Once upon a time, she might have been proud of his aptitude for machinations, Lillian admits, but she finds herself disillusioned with him.

"Not only does intended matricide sour the relationship somewhat," Lillian elaborates, "but more and more lately I've come to realize that while Lex indeed had incredible potential, I allowed that potential to blind me to yours."

Lex didn't earn his success, but Lena did. In just a few short years, Lena embodied the Luthor spirit unlike any Luthor had since the first generation-- since the generation that worked for their first million, their first merger, the first everything. She battled prejudice and attacks and failures, and though there may have been times she may have wavered, she always persisted.

"So why," her mother asks, "are you giving up now?"

Finally, Lena gives voice to her helplessness. How her friends have forsaken her and how in this world, she feels nineteen again, like she can do nothing without Lex.

"How can I," Lena asks, "when he crafted this very reality?"

"He has always crafted your reality, Lena. Your entire life has revolved around him, been shaped and warped by him. But what I've come to realize is that this world isn't his. It never was. All along, it was yours."

And so begins the tentative yet deepening relationship between Lena and her mother, as they conspire against Lex. They know he's up to something, but don't know what. In the end, they decide it doesn't matter what it was-- they would simply need to neutralize him.

Permanently.

----

On the other side of things, the superfriends start to realize that their goal of taking down Lex from the outside isn't working. They learn Brainy is compromised, and find themselves without a significant resource they had counted on. So they focus on mitigating the fallout of his use of the DEO.

Alex and Jonn find their way to helping aliens recover after DEO raids. Sometimes its just property damage, sometimes its arrests. They commiserate with the victims, promising that Lex won't be in power for much longer.

"It doesn't matter who is in power," the victims reply. It will only be someone just as cruel, or even indifferent. The DEO has always been this way, and it will always be this way.

When one alien mentions a specific raid, Alex realizes it was one that occurred under her tenure as Director. That as an agent and director she contributed to the abuse of aliens rights, liberties, and persons.

Later, she confesses to Kara that she always thought she was doing good at the DEO. But all along she'd really only been doing good for Kara.

"I will always be there for you, you know that right?" she asks, and Kara nods. "But I think, for the next little while, I need to focus on doing good for everyone else."

----

Meanwhile, at CatCo, Nia finds herself in a quandary. One day, Will asks her to grab him a coffee. Taken aback, Nia doesnt have time to respond before Will is off on his way. Unsure of what else to do, she uncomfortably obliges, choosing to believe it was a one off.

It isn't.

Again and again with increasing frequency, Will asks her to do things like grab coffee, make copies, etc. Soon she finds herself stuck in a cycle of doing what she's told and is too nervous to call him out after so long.

It takes Kara noticing and offering to speak to William about it before Nia bucks up the courage to do it herself.

"No," she says, the next time Will opens his mouth in her direction. "I will not get your coffee, or make your copies, or pull your copy edits. I am a reporter, just like you. Maybe a little less experienced, sure, but the only way I'm going to get experienced is by doing my own work and not the work of your assistant."

Will stares at her, and then flushes. "Nia, I am so sorry, I thought you were the office assistant. I had no idea."

This time it's Nia's turn to stare. "What? But-- I have over a dozen by-lines."

"Really?"

"I've been at every pitch meeting!"

Grimacing, Will meets her gaze. "I thought you were there to take notes. Honestly, I thought you and Kara were tight because she came from the assistant pool."

Nia scowls. "You also could have just asked me."

"And I should have. I truly am sorry, I've just been so wrapped up in--" He catches himself abruptly, then swiftly changes the subject. "Let me make it up to you. I have an interview with Lenny Maddow in twenty minutes. Would you like to sit in?"

Sit in with a Nobel-winner who isn't Lex Luthor?

"Uh, YEAH."

Nia recoups more of her pride when she asks some insightful questions that gets their guest to open up to an insane degree, and Will recognizes her talent as a reporter. He even tells her as much.

"I don't know how I ever mistook you for anything else."

He starts lending her more advice and opportunity-- before long he's the kind of mentor Kara used to be, but lost the time for. And after Will decides he can trust her he brings her in on his secret project investigating the Luthors.

Namely, Lena.

"She's the weak link. If she goes down, the rest will follow like dominos."

---

"I know we're kind of not on Team Lena right now," Nia remarks to the others at the tower later, "but the kind of things he thinks she's responsible for doesn't sound like Lena. In any reality."

J'onn and Alex both look at Kara. "It might be time to set aside our wounds for a moment," J'onn observes. "I don't need to be a fifth dimensional imp to deduce that a downfall for Lena would not be a good thing."

"Lex would be left unchecked," Alex chimes in.

Kara doesn't need convincing. She goes to Lena immediately, and squares off against Lena's chill reception with concern.

"I came to warn you."

"Let me guess... Lex can't be trusted."

With a grimace, Kara equivocates. "Yes, but I'm not the only one who thinks so. William Dey is digging into the Luthors, and for whatever reason, he's decided your the fulcrum to the entire operation."

"The reporter, William Dey?"

Kara shares what she knows of William's vendetta-- the best friend who died, the suspicions that Lex was involved. To her surprise, Lena huffs a mirthless laugh.

"He said he was going to be better."

"You... say that like you don't believe him."

"Of course I don't believe him. But I wanted to."

Lena knows better than to leave LuthorCorp. But she does pledge her help.

"This doesn't make us friends," Lena clarifies. "But whatever Lex is planning, he'll burn the world to the ground to get it."

Kara nods solemnly. "I understand."

---

The Superfriends now have their in. It's Lena who finally pieces together that Lex is after Leviathan. It's Lillian who pales at the mention, and after much toothpulling reveals that what no one ever told Lena is that her mother didn't just die-- she was murdered.

"Your home was broken into shortly after you were removed. The investigators only found one item of interest, hidden behind a piece of loosened baseboard. A cipher, on a folded piece of paper. Even Lionel only managed to translate two words. One was Leviathan."

The other, Lena soon discovers, was Acrata.

---

Altogether, the superfriends and Will and Lena all manage to erode Lex's stranglehold on the new reality. Lex doesn't make it easy, but a combination of J'onn and Alex earning more of the public trust, Supergirl resisting Lex at every turn, Will and Nia tag-teaming Andrea's connection to Leviathan, Lena beats Lex to the Leviathan sanctum.

By a matter of minutes, sure, but the fact she finds her way there on her own when Lex has to be led by Gamemnae is a true victory, and a practical embodiment of Lillian's earlier words.

Lena's victory is compounded when Lex's eyes flash with irritation: he doesn't expect to see her there.

"Heya, sis. I didn't realize we had a meeting."

"We don't," Lena tells her brother, even her eyes lock on the woman beside him.

The woman steps towards Lena, her lips curling into a pleased smile.

"We do," the woman confirms. It's clear she doesn't include Lex.

Before he can do more than sputter, she continues. "I was wondering how long it would take you to find us."

Lena holds her gaze. "The medallion."

Gamemnae nods. "Ever since it was found, we knew it would only be a matter of time."

There's only one question Lena intends to ask.

"Who was my mother?"

And so she learns that her mother was part of Leviathan-- that she had grown lonely, and sought comfort in the arms of mortals. It had only meant to be temporary, but when the unthinkable happened, and she found herself pregnant, she chose to remain in the mortal world with her daughter.

What Gamemnae doesn't explain, but Lena senses instinctively, is that her mother had sought to protect Lena from Leviathan. To keep her human, keep her alive. That somehow, despite being an agent of destruction, Lena's birth had prompted her mother to leave Leviathan behind, and to be better than she was.

Gamemnae's pitch is enticing-- the ability to bring humanity together through disaster, to call upon their communal instincts by reducing their numbers, reset the world so that the planet and its population have a chance to survive for eons to come.

She offers power and influence, and a long life-- millenia to engage with and observe the discoveries still far in the future.

It's almost enough for Lena to say yes.

Almost.

It is enough for Lena to accept the medallion, the only true memory Lena has of her mother. Gamemnae summons it from the ether, and Lena takes it in her fingers, cradling it like the precious artifact it is.

When she closes her hand around it, Lena blinks and finds herself in a place of utter darkness. But despite the emptiness, she isn't afraid.

"Lena."

"Mom."

The woman who appears before her is familiar in a way that touches deep in Lena's soul. Tears fill Lena's eyes as she drinks in the sight of her mother, committing her to memory.

"I forgot what you looked like," Lena confesses with a breathless laugh. "When I generated an avatar of you, I had to base it on my own image."

The embrace her mother wraps her in is unbidden and unexpected. It steals Lena's breath and floods her with warm. Her tears spill over as she clutches her mother tight.

"I've missed you."

"And I you, my darling," her mother murmurs. "You have grown to be everything I ever wanted for you."

A bolt of shame travels down Lena's spine, and she pulls away.

"You mean embroiled in the most hated family in history?"

"I mean that you are strong, and powerful, and brilliant. Your compassion and empathy are a force powerful than you know."

Lena looks away. How can she explain how close she had come to lose the soul her mother had loved so dearly. Non Nocere burns like a hot poker of shame, digging deep in her belly and twisting sharply.

But her mother cups her cheeks, tilting her gaze up to meet hers once more.

"We all make mistakes, my love. What matters most is what you do to correct them."

Before Lena can say anything more, her mother kisses her on the head, and offers a smile as warm as the sun.

"Everyone you have ever loved is carried inside you. They speak to you every day. When times are uncertain, listen to your heart. They will never lead you astray."

Lena blinks back to the Leviathan sanctum to find Lex pelting Gamemnae with outrage and accusations.

"We had an agreement! You and I had a partnership!"

"And now that it has brought me your sister, I am no longer in need of it."

"You forget that I watched Rama Khan in our previous reality-- I know Leviathan's style. My baby sister isn't the type you would want to recruit."

"You don't comprehend what Leviathan is," Gamemnae only smiles sweetly, unfazed by Lex's posturing. "We are born and chosen both. That is what Lena is. And you, Alexander Luthor, are neither."

"Buh--"

With a wave of Gamemnae's hand, Lex disappears, transported.... somewhere. Lena can barely think to consider his welfare before Gamemnae turns her powerful gaze towards her once more.

"Welcome home, Lena."

---

In the end, Lena doesn't accept. The power offered her is tempting, but she's wise enough to know that a deal so sweet could never come without strings. Whether it be her humanity, her soul, or something else entirely, she would lose something dear. Something precious.

"Come now, Lena," Gamemnae cautions. "I know how ingelligent you are. You know that you won't be allowed to leave alive should you decline."

Her mother's voice echoes in Lena's ears: listen to your heart. She does, and she hears them all-- her people. Her loved. Her lost.

Her mother.

Jack.

Even Kara.

It's Kara that makes her pause, nearly has her agreeing. She knows the prospect of Kara's future, a life of longevity that would see her watching all her family die, for generations to come. If Lena could share those centuries with her, surely they could eventually find forgiveness and trust once more.

But Kara wouldn't want her to. Not like this.

So instead of taking Gamemnae's hand, Lena snatches her by the wrist and closes her hand around the medallion. This time Gamemnae appears in the void with her, where Lena's mother waits again.

"I need your help," Lena says. "All of you."

One by one, they materialize. All of the voices who have guided her appear from the shadows, their features kind and ready. Lena pushes Gamemnae towards them.

"Make our guest comfortable. She'll be staying with you for the foreseeable future."

Jack is the one who steadies Gamemnae. When he blinks, his eyes open to pitch darkness. So do the eyes of those around him, wraiths all. Even Lena's mother.

Lena hesitates only long enough to give her mother one last look.

"I love you."

Her mother nods. "I never doubted for a second. Go," she urges, "and live."

Lena returns to the Leviathan sanctum alone. She shatters the medallion to ensure no one else would use it, and sweeps the pieces up to liquidate against any attempts to reconstruct it.

Leviathan is done, without a single drop of blood shed.

Back at LuthorCorp, Lex is nowhere to be found. After a perfunctory search, control falls to Lena. Though she'll have to wait a mandated period of time before she can rebrand back to L-Corp, things are already feeling normal.

At least, right up until the moment Lena finally visits the Tower for the first time.

"Lena!" Kara calls in delight. During their time working together, things between them have repaired enough for her to wrap Lena in a brief hug and usher her further into the space.

"Come to beg us to back to the DEO?" Alex taunts. "I gotta warn you, I've gotten used to being my own boss."

"Actually," Lena says, "I'm disbanding the DEO."

There's a beat of silence, and then the entire room erupts into chaos. Questions fly at her from every direction, and she endures them quietly until she finally lifts a hand for quiet.

"It's time. The DEO has never been entirely above board, and if we're going to make strides in accepting aliens into Earth society, we have to start with nixing the extrajudicial arrests and imprisonment."

Lena looks at Kara, who has been suspiciously silent. Kara meets her gaze in apprehension.

"What does that mean for Supergirl?'

Lena offers her a smile that refreshes her soul.

"Well, it would be foolish to claim she isn't still needed, and that heroes don't do a lot of good. So I've already talked with the mayor about implementing a municipal licensing program for vigilante heroes. If successful, you'd basically be doing the exact same thing, with just a little more oversight, and a little less smash and grab."

Nia beams. "That sounds so cool!"

"And," Lena adds, sliding her gaze towards Alex and J'onn, "the program is going to need leadership that's familiar with both heroes and bureaucracy."

J'onn nods his readiness and agreement, but to everyone's surprise, Alex hesitates.

"It sounds like a great idea, Lena, really," Alex obfuscates, "but I think I still have more work to do on this side of things. As you say, the DEO has a lot to make up for."

Kara hugs her sister tight. "I'm so proud of you," she whispers.

"Wait, wait, wait..." Nia says, pumping the brakes ever so slightly. "Does this mean we don't get to be the Superfriends anymore?"

But Lena has an answer for that too.

"As the pilot heroes of this new program, I'm sure all of you will continue to work closely together, and I'm sure the legislation will include provisions for teams as well as individual. Which means that as National City's first and premier superhero league, the only thing you're missing is a sponsor." Which is to say, Lena intends to sponsor them.

"From my personal accounts," Lena is sure to specify, "and with tech either commercially available or engineered in my personal lab. LuthorCorp will won't be anywhere near it, and I will be operating as anonymously as possible... though given our history, I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard a guess for people to figure out."

When the team leaves for celebratory drinks, Kara and Lena linger. The air hangs thick and heavy between them, until Lena finally speaks.

"You once asked for bygones--"

"I did," Kara confirms. "And as much as I would love to return the favor--"

"We have a lot to talk about."

Kara nods, and Lena takes a deep breath. "All I ask," she continues, "is that you accept the good with the flaws. And that I only ever wanted to do good."

That much, Kara agrees without hesitation.

"I never thought anything else."

She loops her arm through Lena's, and together they walk towards the lift. As it rises to collect them, Kara rocks back on her heels.

"A lot of changes are coming our way," she remarks.

Lena hums an agreement, but misses the glance Kara gives her as they step into the lift before issuing one last pardon.

"There's no one else I'd rather face them with."

The elevator gate closes on the image of them gazing at each other, eyes locked and smiles brimming with the possibility of something new.

#supercorp #yall freaking asked for it #this took me one day #and one single brain #imagine if i had a full team fleshing this out with me #wall of text #sorry the inbox/mobile app doesnt allow for read mores #tell me what you think #edited to add read more

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misssunflowersandsangria · 3 years

Text

Please Have Snow and Mistletoe- Final Chapter

Merry Christmas my sweet deers! I hope that you’ve all had a wonderful holiday season or just a lovely Winter. I made it! Here we are at The End. It’s short and sweet. Enjoy! Summary: The Big Day

Chapter 5: Joyeux

Flashback

“Yes, mother we’ll be there soon. Yes, of course, she’s coming.”

“I didn’t want to tell you before because I knew you’d be a nag about it.”

“Yes, you did raise me better than that. I’m sorry.”

“We’ll be there soon, she’s excited to meet you.”

Shikamaru ended the call annoyed. His mother just couldn’t let things go. She managed to guilt-trip him into coming home earlier. Which he hadn’t done. There were more deals to close and projects to work on. That came with a price. When she demanded an explanation about why he wasn’t home yet his mouth began to spout lies about a girlfriend and conflicting schedules. Now he had to produce some female that could act like a doting girlfriend for just a few days. He had his assistant arrange a few “auditions” for him when he landed. He just needed to pick some un-troublesome women that could play along and keep his secret for a generous amount of money. It was deceitful and a little pathetic when he thought about it but there was little else he could do.

He left the airport lounge on the way to the tarmac where the private planes boarded. He’d heard the announcement about the weather cancellations and was thankful that he wasn’t flying commercial. He couldn’t delay going home any longer lest his mother come there and drag him home herself.

That’s when he saw her. Blonde, beautiful with a tinge of sadness and disappointment in her striking teal eyes. Her face continued to fall as the customer service representative explained that the flights were all canceled. She, like so many others, probably had grand plans to be home for the holidays. Why her disappointment mattered more to him than anyone else’s, he wasn’t sure.

“Excuse me.”

End flashback

“What’s wrong my darling? Did Santa not bring you what you wanted this year?” Karura asked her daughter with a worried smile.

“How can you tell?” Temari wondered. She thought that she’d gone through the motions quite well. Her family was excited to have her back home and had gone through the usual holiday activities. She was happy and thankful to be back home but her heart was still heavy, despite pieces of it missing. Left in the leaves, covered by the snow.

Her mother drew her in tight and kissed her forehead. “Your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes.” She had always told her that her eyes could never tell a lie.

Temari held onto her tight, Shikamaru’s stuffed deer that he’d hidden in her suitcase between them. She needed her mother’s comfort, hoping it could patch up the missing piece of her heart. “As powerful and magical as Santa is Mama, I don’t think that he can give me what I want this year.”

Karura gazed down at her daughter wishing that she could ease her heartache. “Well there’s still some Christmas left, amazing things can happen. And you my little Sand Storm deserve all the magic that it can give.”

“I have you and my brothers. I don’t need anything else.” It felt wrong lying to her mother.

“I’m not quite sure about that. Have some faith Temari. Especially today.”

Kankuro knocked on her door, interrupting the moment.

“Uhm Temari, there’s a guy outside in a fancy suit with a really expensive car looking for you. He seems a little too well dressed to be a hitman but uh I can try to get rid of him for you.”

Her heart began to beat rapidly, hope and warmth blossoming in her chest. “Did he give a name?”

“Shika something? I have Gaara keeping an eye on him.”

She stormed out of there to find him standing in the living room by their Christmas tree. Karura herded her sons away to give them some privacy.

“Shikamaru, what are you doing here?” She asked in disbelief that he was there.

“I shouldn’t have let you go the way that I did.”

His eyes were soft but thoughtful. “All my life I worked hard for what I wanted. Sacrificing time and relationships to acquire the things that I thought I needed to give my life meaning. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished but these last few days with you, well it showed me that there’s so much more.”

He stepped forward taking her shaky hands in his. “I kept trying to convince myself that this couldn’t be real. I'm not good with feelings. I’m rational, I plan. I could have never planned on you coming into my life. But I’ve never been more sure of anything. You and me together Tem. It just makes sense. I don’t need the presents, the snow, any of it. I just want you.”

His hand gently cupped her face, his thumb wiping away the stray tears that managed to escape her eyes.

“I want to keep playing with you in the snow till our fingers freeze. Have you teach me how to bake cookies. I want to take snowy walks to feed the deer, and to kiss you even when there’s no mistletoe. I want to share in and create even more traditions with you.”

She settled into his arms feeling her heart mend itself.

“This is absolutely crazy but if this year taught me anything it’s that life is unpredictable.” She gazed up at him, his soft brown eyes filled with love and joy for her.

“Shikamaru, you’re everything that I could have ever wished for. I don’t know if it was those long conversations where we’d talk about everything or the quiet moments that you just held me in your arms or if it really is just that we’re meant to be together. My heart is yours. I wanted so much for you to ask me to stay but I’m glad that you came to your senses. This is the best thing that you could have given me.”

She delighted in the warm kiss they shared. Thankful that this time she knew how they both felt. If he hadn’t followed her home she might have chased after him. Unable to imagine a life without him there.

When they separated he pulled her in tight layering kisses along her head. She was there in his arms again and it all felt right.

“So you must be Temari’s final Christmas gift.”

They looked up finding Karura standing there with a bright smile on her face.

“Sorry for interrupting. I’m Shikamaru. Your daughter is incredible and I just needed her to know that.” Temari blushed at the compliment and the amused look on her mother’s face.

“She really is, well we were just about to sit down for dinner so come on, there’s always room for one more.” Shikamaru was grateful to be welcomed to join with their traditions.

Temari took his hand in hers with an excited grin across her face. The new couple followed Karura into the dining room where Temari’s brothers were sitting tense and unsure.

Karura was kind and welcoming towards Shikamaru. She pushed her sons to be the same although they were more confused and worried about him.

Ice cold stares from Temari was enough to make them behave. This along with the additional gifts he’d had brought. By the end of the night, they warmed up to him and were closer to believing that he was good enough for their sister.

The food was eaten and the gifts exchanged. They called Shikaku and Yoshino to let them know that he made it. Amd to introduce them at least over the phone to her family. Numbers were exchanged and promises made to have combined family events in the future.

As the night came to a close, Shikamaru and Temari were dressed in another set of matching pajamas that he’d also given to her family. This set had a festive arrangement of cactuses to celebrate her home. She took him outside bundled up in blankets and jackets to gaze up at the desert night sky.

“This is kind of my own tradition. I’d come out here late Christmas night to look at the stars.”

He held her close as she described the different constellations. Content just to hear her voice.

Temari gazed at him, still amazed that he was there.

“So how did this all come about?”

“After you left my mom was inconsolable. I’d never seen her like that. Both of them were pretty annoyed that I hadn’t given you an engagement ring. Everything else was the same, but you weren’t there anymore. It felt empty and I couldn't handle the rest of my days being like that.”

He pulled her into a kiss, a simple reminder that she really was there.

“Nothing about how we left it felt right. I wanted so much to stop you from leaving or to follow you to the airport. I kept convincing myself that it just wasn’t possible. You don’t fall for someone that quickly. It’s pretty clear I’m a stubborn person. But with all the time we spent together, the conversations and experiences that we shared. How could I not fall for you? You’re my person.”

The whole time, he was falling right along with her.

Her fingers trailed over the watch she’d given him, remembering that fateful day. How different her day might be if it all hadn’t happened the way it did. How different her life would be.

She nestled herself into his arms sharing lazy loving kisses between them. “So what does tomorrow hold for us?”

With the bright lights of a million stars above them, her safe and warm in his arms, all was calm. And their futures bright.

“Everything.”

Please Have Snow and Mistletoe

Chapter 1: Flight XMAS

Chapter 2: A Scene from a Snowglobe

Chapter 3: Sweeter than a Sugar Plum

Chapter 4: A Christmas Poem

Chapter 5: Joyeux

Phew I can’t believe I wrote this in time. Also yes, Karura is there because I need more stories where the Sand Sibs have therir lovely mommy. You can imagine whatever you want for Rasa. I hope that you all enjoyed my Christmas gift to you! Writing and interacting with all you lovely readers has been my saving grace in such a crazy year. So you are all my gifts. Thank you for reading, all your love, and support and I hope that Santa brings you your own Shikamaru ;D I love you and see you in the new year!

#shikatema #shikatem #shikamaru x temari #naruto #naruto fanfiction #naruto fanfic #christmas fluff #holiday fluff #modern au #fake dating #home for the holidays #we got snow and mistletoe #christmas day #sangriaslips #sunflowerstalks #ill be home for christmas #all is calm #all is bright #merry christmas loves

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pinapple-qween · 4 years

Text

Super Twins!

Relationship: Batfam x Reader

Summary: Twins with strangely incompatible powers are spotted in Gotham and we all know what happens with Bruce and orphans.

Key: Y/N= your name, N/N= nickname

—————————————-

So there I was, minding my own business, flying through the lovely night air when a flipping boy ran into me. Or I guess flipped into me.

I can most defiantly say that he was just as surprised as I was as expressed in his eloquent, “What the hell,” as he returned to the world below me.

As much as I wanted to float there and laugh at the flipping boy, who was effectively getting himself back on course on the roof tops below, Clayton was waiting for me at the park and I couldn’t let him down again.

I guess I should tell you about myself.

Clayton is my twin brother, older only by 3 minutes which he loves to hold over me. And if you couldn’t tell, me and my brother have superpowers. I got the cooler power, I can control the air, but Clayton probably got the more practical power, he can control the ground. Our mother quickly abandoned us when she figured that out, because a baby that can float and one that can disappear into the ground? Yeah, easy to put us up for adoption. After six years of foster homes and orphanages, everyone got sick of the two of us and they planned on separating us, so we tunneled out. Clayton took me and we began roaming from city to city, staying alive and staying together for the past 10 years.

By the time I got to the park, I saw Clayton waiting next to one of those statues that I guess is modern art, but looks like a hockey stick with picture frames hot glued on, I digress.

“Y/N! I was starting to get worried about your dumbass.” Clayton grabbed my arm as I finished my descent and pulled me towards the middle of the park. “Gotham isn’t Central City, it’s way more dangerous! You could get shot or something.”

“As I fly through the air?” I gave him a snarky smile and he slapped my arm.

“Remember what I told you about Batman before we left? I heard that he flies and so do his partners. They could catch you and do who knows what.” He started to open the tunnel to the cavern where we would be staying before we moved to our next destination.

“I think I scared them more than they could scare me,” I scoffed thinking back to the flipping boy.

Clayton halted in his tracks, spun around and grabbed my shoulders. “You SAW one?”

Slightly uncomfortable I said, “Yeah, there was a guy who flipped into me and as he fell onto a roof top he said something like ‘That damn’, but I guess that could’ve been ‘Batman’,” I shrugged. “He couldn’t have gotten a good look at me and there’s no way he could’ve followed me.”

I was wrong.

Clayton and I heard the sound of a car screeching to a halt, as we turned to look at the source, a small boy, with what I guessed were katanas, flipped in front of us with swords pointed in our faces.

“Identify yourselves,” he yelled.

Before I could ask if his mom knew he was out past his bedtime, I recognized the taller boy behind him.

“Flippy boy? How did you find me?”

Clayton looked at me then to flippy boy and smacked his forehead. “You idiot...That’s Nightwing.”

“Who?”

The little boy scoffed. With a devious smirk on his face, he asked, “You don’t know Nightwing? Ha! Did you hear that Red Hood?”

A voice from behind me let out a low, but loud chuckle. “Yeah, I heard, demon.” The man walked around us to join the other two. “How’s that feel flippy boy?”

Flippy boy, or I guess Nightwing, let out an annoyed groan, “Come on man! B will be here in a minute. Can you just let it go until we get home?”

When the three began to bicker, I noticed Clayton giving me that sideways glance, the same one he gave me when we had to ditch the Flash a year or two ago. I grabbed his hand and slowly we began to slip into the earth.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a deep, gravely voice advised.

Barely shin deep in the ground, my brother quickly shot us back to the top and we tensed up, afraid to turn and find the one person we knew wouldn’t let us go so easy.

Batman, THE Batman, walked between us and, with one look, stopped the bickering match those boys had gotten into. “Now,” he faced us and his look made my hairs stand on end, “Who are you two? And no lies. I don’t have the patience for it.”

Clayton looked at me and I nodded.

“I’m David and this is my sister Ellen, we’re just passing through. We’re on our way to visit our aunt in Maine.” The lie was easy. Clayton had said it only a million times, but this time...he almost seemed unsure.

The look on Batman’s face didn’t change. I couldn’t help but feel like he was reading our entire lives while we just stood there. Then finally, “I said no lies.”

Clayton began, “I’m not-”

“My name’s Y/N and this is my brother Clayton. We’re orphans. We’ll be out of Gotham by Friday,” Clayton smacked my arm and looked at me incredulously, “What! He wasn’t gonna just let it go. Right?”

Red Hood laughed, “She’s right.”

“Orphan’s, huh,” Nightwing shifted uncomfortably, “B shouldn’t we, you know... help them?”

Batman seemed to ignore him. “And you two have superpowers?”

Clayton sighed dejectedly, “Yeah. She’s air. I’m earth.”

The smaller boy sneered, “Air? Earth? Tt-tt That sounds stupid.”

I scoffed, “It’s not like you have any superpowers. Do you, kid?”

I watched as a blush quickly spread across his face as Red Hood began cracking up. “No! But...but....”

“That’s what I thought,” I stuck my tongue out at him and turned back to Batman, which sort of ruined my moment. “How did you find us anyway?”

“Nightwing called out his location after his encounter with you in the sky, he tailed you best he could until we could catch up in the Batmobile. Then we just projected your trajectory to the park and found the fastest route.”

“Oh.” I was still confused.

“They followed you until they realized you were going to the park,” Clayton simplified.

“Ah.”

Batman return to his silent staring. Clayton’s grip on my hand tightened. I knew what he wanted me to do, but I was afraid. I was afraid of what Batman might do to us, but I couldn’t let my brother down. In that moment, I could feel every particle in the air that surrounded us and I told them to spin, fast. As we stood there, the wind picked up speed.

Nightwing gasped, “What’s happening!”

Before anyone could answer, the wind became a miniature tornado and I could feel the familiar sensation in my gut as I was losing energy, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it much longer. Clayton started to drag us under, knowing I would only be able to keep up the storm while I was surrounded by the air, he made quick work of getting us under the earth.

Once we made it to our hide out, Clayton let me collapse onto the ground. He slipped off his shoes and took a minute to feel the vibrations of the surface world. “They’re still up there. I think the kid is stabbing the ground where we sank.”

I tried to catch my breath, “Buh-Batman. He won’t just let us...go.”

“I know.”

“We can’t stay under...forever.”

“I know.” I could hear the exasperation in his voice.

“What...are we gonna...do?”

“I don’t know yet! Let me think.” Clayton’s face scrunched up the way it always did when he was planning his underground adventures. I could see how aggressively he was processing the information he was getting from the surface through his feet. “They got in the Batmobile, I can feel the way the car is going, but not for long. We should follow it.”

“What! Why in the world would we do that?”

“Stay right under their noses, and then I’d always be able to keep tabs on them. Come on. You know what we need to do.”

I groaned and got to my feet. “Yeah, yeah. Hop on.” Clayton got onto my back. “Damn, you way a ton.”

“Shut up and let’s go!” He opened the tunnel and I began to speed us along the path of the Batmobile.

After at least a solid day underground, I got hungry.

“Clayyyy! Come on! I’m starving, let’s surface, please!”

“N/N, stop it! If you ask one more time, I will fight you.”

“But...CLAYTON! I’m hungry!” I dramatically clutched my stomach and flopped onto the ground, writhing around for a minute before:

“FINE! Let me check the surface before we just waltz up into where ever Batman goes when he’s not in the city.” Clayton took off his shoes and began to sense the surface.

“Wait, we aren’t in the city anymore? Where are we?”

“Shh!” He stood there for a moment. “We’re under some kind of cave, which you know messes with my senses. I can sense bats, but I don’t know if any people are above us.”

I shoved him aside and grabbed his hand, “I do not care. I’m hungry and I will begin to eat you if I don’t get food in the next minute. So let’s go!”

Clayton sighed and we began our ascent to the surface.

And where we appeared, I think everyone was confused.

Clayton and I suddenly appeared in what I would have thought to be a meeting. Only the things was...this wasn’t any ordinary cave and they weren’t any ordinary people. Also who holds meetings in caves?

There sat a middle aged man with black hair and striking blues eyes, but his eyes weren’t what I was focused on. It was the Batman suit he was wearing that looked way too real. He sprung to his feet the minute we were fully surfaced. “How did you get in here?” Even his voice was too perfect to be an imitation.

The way Clayton’s hand went slack in mine clued me into the fact that I’d be the one doing the talking. So I started with the perfect opening, “Buh-Buh-Batman?”

“You two!” The words came from the young boy who had a liking for swords as he was holding one currently, and it was aimed at my face. His green eyes held this horrible hardness that a kid should never have.

“Uh, yeah. It’s us...again.” I shifted awkwardly, squeezing my brother’s hand in hopes he’d regain his words. “So...this is a nice cave you got here.” Which wasn’t wrong, it really was a cool cave, and I had stayed in a lot of caves so I should know. “Got a real nice...uh...ambiance to it.”

The cave looked less like a cave and more like a basement, if you had to make a comparison. It had a computer the size of a projector screen on one side and an entire armory on the other. Stairs wrapped into the rock and led up to an unknown location. There was a giant penny and even a T-Rex, if you could believe that! Sat at the table in front of us was the middle age man, the boy, two other younger men, a teenage boy, two teenage girls, a young woman, and an older gentleman in a nice suit. (It was a big table.) Beside the older man and the young woman, they all were in some sort of dark costume.

The teenage boy spoke to the man in the Batman suit, “Uh, do you know these guys?”

“We followed Y/N to the park the other day when she was meeting up with Clayton,” he nodded to my brother who was still limply staring at them.

The young woman took out a tablet. “The ones with the powers, right. Uh...here’s the body cam shots!” She showed what I assumed was a video to the rest of the table.

“You did that?” The blonde girl stared at me wide-eyed. “You created a tornado?”

I felt myself begin to blush. “Uh, yeah...I did.”

“Awesome...” She leaned back in her chair with a wonder filled expression on her face.

Batman marched over to where we were standing. “You never answered my question.”

“Right, how we got in here. Well...” I glanced at Clayton who seemed to finally be coming to his senses. “He’s probably the better one to tell you.”

Clayton basically explained how his powers work and how we tracked the Batmobile to the Batcave, what the rest of them called it, and how we were hiding out underground to hopefully avoid a confrontation like this.

“So...are you gonna kill us?” Clay pulled me closer, he always did that when he got protective.

Batman stared at us in shock for a minute before regaining his composure. “Kill you? God, no. We don’t kill.”

“Well...” the young man with a white streak in his hair began.

Batman sent him a glare. “We don’t kill.”

“Alright,” the man conceded.

“Oh thank god.” Clayton relaxed his grip on my arm. “So, what are you going to do with us?”

My stomach made a sound like a dying whale.

The older gentleman stood and walked over to us. “First,” he said with a British accent, “we will feed the both of you.”

The food was better then anything I have ever had in my life. Fresh pizza, bread sticks, and clean water. Clayton and I scarfed it down until we were full, something we hadn’t been in years.

“You’d think they’d never have eaten,” Damian, the green-eyed boy, scoffed.

“Well, we don’t really have money and places notice if more than a little food goes missing,” Clayton said as he ate his fifth bread stick.

Dick Grayson, or I guess Nightwing, asked,“So you two really go from city to city, doing what exactly?”

I took a break from chugging my water. “Running from social services. Two more years until they’re off our tail and we don’t have to worry about being separated anymore.” I started on my fourth slice of pizza.

Dick looked at Batman, who is none other than Bruce Wayne, with a weird sort of sad expression.

“But don’t worry! We got it under control, we’ve been doing this for ten years.” I gave him a lopsided smile. Dick’s sad expression deepened.

“Well, I understand what it’s like on the streets.” Jason, the man with the white streak, rustled my brother’s hair and sat down next to him.

Clayton flattened his hair, “You do?”

“I was on the street before Bruce took me under his wing to be Robin. He caught me stealing the wheels off the Batmobile.”

I busted out laughing. “You stole the Batmobile’s wheels! That’s amazing.”

Bruce was smirking, “Yes, but he didn’t get very far.”

They began telling us stories about themselves. How Dick became the first Robin. How Tim figured out who Batman was. The time when Stephanie basically forced herself into Batman vigilante gang. Why Jason calls Damian demon. Barbara’s stint as Batgirl and now her job as Oracle. The boys worked together to explain Casandra’s story, but she would just shake her head and laugh to herself. Alfred told stories about a younger Bruce.

Clayton and I sat and listened and laughed and, for the first time, I knew we both felt safe. Clayton made no effort to disappear and I didn’t want to fly away.

By the time they seemed to run out of stories, I could feel the way my eye lids grew heavy and the yawns came more frequently. Bruce offered one of the rooms in his home for Clayton and I to stay in for the night. We hesitantly accepted, after ten years of sleeping on dirt and rocks, I almost was afraid to sleep on a real bed and enjoy it’s comforts, but Clayton was more accepting of the idea. Alfred lead us up the stairs that disappeared within the rocks and through a hole covered by a grandfather clock.

The house was not a house, but a gigantic mansion. Each room seemed to be bigger than the last and the hallways look like they went on for miles. The first floor of the manor was larger than any orphanage my brother and I had ever been in, and that wasn’t including the movie room and the kitchen. I would peak into rooms we passed, each one making me more in awe than the last. Once we reached the second floor, Alfred took us to an unoccupied bedroom.

“My apologies, this is the only room currently available. If you wish to stay longer with us, I will gladly empty out one of the rooms being used for storage.” Alfred gestured for us to enter. “If you need anything else, please let me know. The bathroom is the first door on the right, the closet is the second one and has spare blankets if you need them. Have a good night.” He closed the door behind him, but we didn’t move.

The room was probably three times bigger than any room we’ve ever stayed in and we’ve always been forced to share a room so they always felt smaller, but this room was amazing. The far wall was just windows over looking an enormous garden. The bed was queen sized at least and covered in the softest looking comforter I had ever seen. Clayton was the first one of us to move, and he made his way to the bathroom.

“Y/N, there’s a full sized bathtub and a shower in here.”

I made my way over to the bed, sat down, and stared out the window. The mattress’s softness welcomed me to lay down. “This bed is so comfortable.”

Clayton joined me on the bed. “Did you hear what Alfred said?”

“About staying longer? Yeah.” I thought about it for a moment. “It’s too good to be true, right?”

“Gotta be.”

“No way a man like Bruce Wayne would want two super powered street rats, right?”

Clayton yawned, “No way.”

I listen to him turn and settle into a comfortable position. “This is too good to last, isn’t it?”

“Mhmm...”

I heard Clayton’s breathing settle into a rhythm and I knew he was asleep. I tried to get comfortable too, but the worries filled my head. I laid there and stared out over the garden, afraid that when I woke up, we would be back underground and this was all a dream.

I wandered out of the room and down the stairs. I made my way to the back of the house and found myself in the gardens. I walked around before I found a nice bench in front of a fountain. Lost in thought while staring into the water, I didn’t hear the footsteps approaching where I was sitting.

“May I join you?”

I jumped three feet high, literally, but then returned to the ground when I realized it was Bruce.

A blush radiated across my face, “Mr. Wayne, sorry. You startled me.”

He chuckled then gestured to the bench, “Care to sit?”

I nodded and we sat together. We sat in a comfortable silence for what felt like forever before he spoke up again. “Can I ask why you’re sitting out here and not asleep?”

“Uh...I don’t know. Not tired, I guess.” I felt the skeptical stare burn into my skin. I sighed, “It’s too good to be true.”

“What is?”

I gestured to the manor behind me then the garden around me. “All of this,” I limply gestured to Bruce, “You. Your kindness.” I could feel my throat getting tighter and the burning behind my eyes. I let my head fall and my hair cover my face, so he couldn’t see my weakness. First lesson you learn as a street kid, show no weakness.

Again we sat in silence until Bruce broke it. “I can say I don’t know what it is like to live day to day. Without someone who cares about your well being-”

“Clayton cares about me,” I snapped. The tears spilled down my cheeks as I glare at him.

“Right, sorry. I meant an adult who can actively provide for both of you.”

I scoffed, “Adults don’t know how to care, all they want is the government paycheck they can get by doing nothing.” I saw his expression, a mix of hurt and sadness. I felt my own face soften, “I’m sorry Mr. Wayne. I don’t mean to take this out on you.”

He gave me a sad smile, “Please, call me Bruce. And I understand. While I’ve never been in your situation, you’ve heard the stories my kids told you. I want to help.”

“You wouldn’t want Clayton and me. We aren’t worth the trouble, especially since we’ll be on our own in two years anyway. We can take care of ourselves until then.”

“But what if you didn’t have too?”

“What do you mean?”

Bruce chuckled softly then looked me in the eyes, “I would like for you to join our family. It’s not perfect by any means, but we all look out for one another. You wouldn’t have to keep moving around and you and your brother wouldn’t have to worry about being separated.”

I stared deadpanned at him. Bruce Wayne had asked me if I wanted to join his family. I waited for the “just kidding!” or the “I can’t believe you fell for that!” but it never came.

“You- you’re serious?”

“Absolutely.”

“No strings?”

“Only that you occasionally help out on patrols, your guys’ powers could be really helpful.”

“I’ll- I’ll have to ask Clay...”

Bruce patted me on the shoulder, “No need to make a decision tonight. Go get some rest, we’ll talk more tomorrow.” And with that he stood up, gave me a soft smile, and walked back towards the manor.

#batfam #batfam imagine #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batfam fic #batman #batman fic

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alanandamber · 4 years

Text

Dearest Amber,

It’s tough writing to you from our encampment in the mountains. Pens are hard to come by, and the officer in charge says that love is a weakness. I’m haunted by the thoughts of missing Charlotte’s first violin recital at the academy, but I will bring her back a token from the places I’ve visited. Will you still love me, when I return with one arm?

I’m writing here because I don’t really have anywhere else to write, and because I have nobody else to talk to about this. There are a lot of struggles with my marriage, but I think right now the tough one is that I’ve focused on my career for the last 6 years, since I had already kind of given up on my own happiness to try and keep some happiness for the people around me. At the end of the day what that means is my friendships from before have atrophied and there isn’t much of a support system for me to lean on. On top of that, I was there when the two people she got the most support from died...knowing she’s having an even harder time than I am, with nobody to talk to or get support from, that’s really hard for me. It isn’t hard because I’m unsure, it’s hard because I’m an empath and I’m watching someone else suffer in their own pain with nowhere to go and I’ve always been the place to go.

It’s also important for me to remember that this hasn’t made me a saint. Let’s face it, if I was unhappy for that long so was she, and by letting things go just to be her support system and friend, I hurt her too and it makes me a coward.

It’s also tough because I don’t know what’s next, for either of us. I’m a logical person and I feel most comfortable with a little bit of routine and structure, or when I’m reasonably comfortable that the future has a certain predictability. For me right now, I’ve lost predictability and that’s where my anxiety usually gets a good hold.

I’m still trying to get the right words in the right order to get across to you what I tried to say out loud yesterday about you being special, and about you deserving to know that for someone, the idea of not having you in their life is awful. I also talked about my gut and my instinct - that sounded arrogant. I’m not always right, nobody is. Some of these things will sound either like I’m self conscious or not confident, and some of them will sound like I’m being materialistic or vain, but I don’t mean them that way.

1. You’re beautiful. That’s a simple phrase but one I can’t be clear enough about. I mean it in two distinct ways and I’m going to try and say them here, I’m better with writing than I am at saying things out loud. I’ll start out with physical beauty - it floors me. I’m not taking about edited pictures and your naked body, although 🤤. I’m talking about your basic physical presence. When you’re talking to me, when you’re just being you, with no prep or extra effort to be the hottest or sexiest you can be in a moment. It’s actually overwhelmingly beautiful. I’ve always been a little shy, and a little quiet. If I saw you on the street my jaw would drop and never in a million years would I have the confidence to approach you. No way. That girl is in another league. I don’t even know if she’s real. I don’t mean that to be self conscious. I really don’t. Although I do think it’s important for you to remember I’ve been in a long term relationship and marriage for 5 years and have felt absolutely zero need to have confidence or be sexually attractive because...well that part of me hasn’t had a place here and I’m probably going to need work to get it back. That’s not sexy at all. I don’t want you to think I’m a project.

Then, it really gets me. Your beauty barely even starts with the physical aspect. Your mind - Jesus Christ your mind. You are brilliant, and you are adventurous, and you are curious, and you are hilarious. You’re...you. Wow...are you ever. Your mind is easily the most gorgeous thing about you, which is saying a lot because 🤤😍. You are out of my league, I can learn from you, and experience with you, and grow. Wow. My command of the English language is also totally inadequate in comparison. I’m going to have to make up for it in other ways.

2. My curiosity about you never stops. It’s all I think about. In a way it’s such a bummer to have not known you even in chaotic times because it’s part of your story and what makes you who you are. I have no interest in only knowing you as you are now after a pivotal point in your life. On top of all the stress in my house right now and all the uncertainty and negativity, I’m sitting here wondering what you are like I’m your calm moments alone, or when you feel proud. I wonder what struggles you have that you don’t verbalize, or when you cry, and what do you cry about? Or do you? I wonder abo that sensitive side you mentioned that you don’t really show, and what that part of you is all about. But you know what, you’re not “exotic”. I’ve been thinking about this and I want you to know it - I think the difference between what I feel and being curious about something new and exotic is the difference between infatuation, and following your heart. You are not perfect. You never claimed to be and neither did I. I am not putting you on a pedestal. I am not worshipping you and telling you that you are never going to stumble. You’re not a research project that I can “complete”. After every curiosity about you, there’s another. It’s not about infatuation and solving the puzzle of the perfect woman, it’s about knowing all of you and giving you the safety and love you deserve from a man who feels like this about you, and hopefully if I play my cards right, being the right recipe for you that gives you all the same feelings. I’m not physically perfect by any means. I’m not sure what you meant about “something small” can change the vibe but I’m gonna throw it right out there, I’m in no way perfect. I grew up poor as hell and not in a super functional family. I always wanted straighter teeth and my mom never really took my to the dentist. I’ll always be self conscious about that. I don’t want your reassurance, gorgeous, I want your heart, and I’m playing for keeps but I want the real thing.

3. I’ve NEVER wanted children, or any of that. I never even really saw myself getting married - this current situation was more of a alignment of a string of events than a fulfillment of a path I wanted. And yet, I’m sitting here day dreaming about all of it with a woman I’ve never even touched. I’m thinking about your future and our future and what it will look like, where it will be, what struggles we may have to face together, and what triumphs there might be. I’m thinking about your next step and how I never want to put you in a place where you feel you have to do work you don’t want to just to pay the rent. I’m thinking about you, and me, and growing old and having fun. Is it science or biology? I don’t fucking know, love. I may never.

You’re not off the hook for answering questions.

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vithyahairandmakeup · 4 years

Text

My Decade

My 2010 started with me finishing my one year diploma at London College of Fashion. I was so excited to start my new career with this prestigious qualification at one of the World’s top fashion institutions, but the makeup artist I used to look up to so much then, told me that I would not last long in this field. She broke my heart. And not because I thought I was doomed, but because of how discouraging and mean she was.

Up until that moment I thought I had to prove something to my family, but then quickly realised that I am leaving one pack of wolves - my family of course - to walk into another - this industry!I swore to myself then, that I would encourage and support any other makeup artist along my journey and not be like her. I would like to believe that I stayed true to that to some extent. Whatever she had told me did place some doubt in my heart. Just as a precaution I thought I better apply somewhere and work part time at least. So I applied at MAC cosmetics, who had actually rejected me. They then gave me a call a few months later and asked if I could cover during their busy christmas period. Once I started at MAC, they kept me on and I worked for them for another 3 years. They even offered me the managerial position, the irony.

During the three years at MAC, I was so unsure and so confused in what direction I wanted to go in. It was a part time position, so it didn’t pay well, and I was desperately trying to freelance on the weekends. I would get a client once every few months, who wouldn’t pay me much. Without a car, without a proper makeup trolley, it was agony carrying my suitcase up and down underground staircases and holding onto it with my dear life during packed train journeys. I can assure you, it was not a pleasant experience at all.I tried being part of short movies, worked with the National Portrait Gallery, the Arcadia group (who own Topshop, Dorothy Perkins etc.), fashion shows for Nintendo, and even a shoot for British Airways. But all were unpaid and definitely got me nowhere except for a few phone pictures to add to my Facebook Page.

I would come home after a long day of standing and lugging my suitcase around, and my parents would look at me with judgemental eyes wondering why a science graduate who landed a very well paid job in a huge marketing company, would give it all up to do makeup on people for minimum wages and be treated like a servant?I honestly never ever regretted my decision. Yes it was tough not making money, and spending all my earnings on building a better makeup kit or on my travel, but it gave me life; it brought me happiness, it made me want to get out of bed, and it definitely distracted me from my anti depressants and suicidal thoughts. Being a makeup artist brought me back to life.

In 2013, I quit MAC and took the brave decision to go self employed. I registered my company officially. My freelance work had picked up, and I wanted to free my weekends from working in retail. I wanted to explore more and try out new things.I still remember I had hit 10K followers on Instagram after joining in 2012 and more and more people started to get to know me around the world. Instagram opened up a lot of doors for me.Having lived in Germany most of my childhood, my parents were ok with me travelling to Europe for bridal jobs because I was able to stay with family. I think I was the first Tamil makeup artist back then who travelled to neighbouring countries for work. That was probably one of the best decisions I had made. Travelling around Europe and doing makeup got me exposed a lot more and people who were not on social media knew of my existence.

And as per usual I would still collaborate and work for free with anyone who contacted me. I wanted to get out there and try everything new. During exactly one of these collabs, I was asked to come early morning one day, to do makeup on a male model for a music video shoot. When I arrived that Monday morning I nearly fainted at the sight of Simbu, a very famous Tamil Actor. I was getting my station ready when the makeup artist who was hired for the entire movie did end up coming for this music video shoot. I was gutted. I thought I won’t get a chance to work with him and was prepared to pack up and leave. But the organiser was adamant that I stay and help out. I asked the makeup artist if I could do touch up makeup at least for a few scenes, and she kindly let me. The pictures I took of that moment went viral in South India, and that was the first time people in India started following my work on social media or even knew of my existence.It was also the first time a lot of makeup artists noticed me and can I just say they were not happy with this newbie getting to work with celebrities.

It got worse in 2014 when I was asked to do makeup for another famous Actress, Sneha, for a Wedding Exhibition. To be honest I was very overwhelmed. I did not think I was cut out for the job and kept asking the organisers why not pick some of the more experienced makeup artists. I really was not ready for such a big job. I wasn’t confident.However, the organiser told me that out of all the profiles she had sent Sneha, Sneha herself picked me. That was all I needed. I spoke to Sneha on the phone a week before her arrival, and met her a few days before the show, to discuss the looks and make sure she was happy with everything.Working with her will forever be one of my most cherished moments in my career. She believed in me and trusted me. However a lot of people were absolutely angry at the thought of me doing makeup on someone as famous as her. They could not comprehend that someone as inexperienced, nor established as myself would bag in a job like this. I did understand their disappointment, but was sad that no one seemed to want to support me.

Later that same year, I was asked if I was interested in being a production assistant for two songs from the movie Nanbenda; it was a Red Giant Production acting Udhayanidi and Nayanthara, line produced by Kavino from MYA Media. Of course I know nothing about production, but did not want to turn down this opportunity, so took 9 days off and decided to help out. The shoot took place all over Great Britain with a huge budget and an experience of a life time. I got to personally work with Nayanthara and saw what happened behind the scenes. I made great friends during that shoot, even had the responsibility of finding a castle and two horses for one scene, but went home having to deal with a divorce. Even though career-wise 2014 was a great year for me, but on a personal level I had to deal with a lot of heart ache. And no, it had nothing to do with my career, it was simply bad timing.

The following few years just had me on a rollercoaster to be honest. I tried numerous new things; being a TV host, a judge for dance competitions and beauty peagants, modelling, acting in commercials which never made it on TV, makeup for adverts, short films, magazine shoots, editorials, none were paid of course, until I found a new love for teaching.

I started teaching one-to-one tutorials in 2014 and remember I couldn’t even get two students that December. The following year it grew to 10 students, and in 2016 I had back to back students who were willing to pay whatever I quoted. That I when I made the decision of doing a Masterclass after seeing Mario (Kim Kardashian’s Makeup Artist) do these around the US. I had no guidelines nor knew how to start. Masterclasses were unheard of in our community. I was the first.I hired a small gallery space, and rented 20 chairs. I had my cousins and friends help me set up and we bought a Kettle and paper cups to serve tea and coffee for everyone. I thought the day went so well, and absolutely enjoyed the teaching, to get a call at the end of that day from my mum crying down the phone telling me that our house got robbed. Well we quickly found out that nothing was actually stolen, but the house just go trashed. A lot of us that night stayed up thinking someone did not want me to do these classes. My high ended with such a low, and got worse when I woke up to a lot of emails from our students complaining about numerous things in regards to my Masterclass. Today, I have taught 16 classes all over the world now with as many as 80 students, and for renowned makeup brands such as Bobbi Brown and Nars Cosmetics. So don’t ever let anyone or anything stop you from what you love and what you are meant to do.

Anyway, the following years have definitely been the best; from campaign shoots for Pothys, being flown out around the world for Bridal jobs, being a panelist and being a Keynote speaker for American Express, working with South Indian Movie celebrities Amy Jackson, Bharathirajah, the beautiful Sneha again, and Meena, being in charge of Makeup for Anirudh’s Concert in London and Paris, interviewed on mental health and published in Huffington Post, and my YouTube journey with my Saree draping video amassing nearly 6 million views. I know this is not work related but me marrying the most amazing human being in New York almost 3 years ago definitely was a huge benefactor in my career too. Happiness does wonders, I tell you.

Either way, none of it came easy. Yes it was hard work, but no one ever publicly or openly talks about the politics and the drama that happen in the industry behind closed doors. How not only do you have to deal with your nerves when working on a big project but you probably have to pray all day that no one tries to sabotage this opportunity for you; that no one talks to the organiser and pays them off to drop you last minute (has happened to me countless times), and hope that no one talks behind your back and invents rumours about you. The best rumour was that my ex husband left me because I was having a relationship with Simbu apparently. When my Bride told me that, my answer was “I wish”. We had such a laugh that day.

My last 10 years taught me so much. I grew on a professional and personal level. I think maturity and experience has helped me deal with a lot of it, and face a lot of it.I have some amazing friends also who are in the same field as me, and I have never stopped encouraging, teaching, or inspiring others who are entering this industry. I want to be that someone I never had 10 years ago. Jealousy, competitiveness, and hate does nothing but destroy. It ruins, and it causes nothing but pain. Fame can be another culprit too. It’s great to want to grow on social media, but do not lose your morals, values, and principles along the way. Once you lose respect, it is very hard to earn it back.

How does one deal with all of this? I used to wonder why some people were so horrible, but then gave up trying to figure out what their reasons were. I still get hate or have situations were other makeup artists try and make it very difficult for me, but the first step was to block a lot of words and people on social media. Of course we want to be liked, and we want to be a good person and set a good example, but do we really need to prove something to someone who does not know you nor like you? No matter what line of business you are, there is going to be competition. There is going to be people around you who are going to watch you like a hawk and copy every single thing that you do. But let that be a positive thing. Let that challenge you to do better, and be better, and get outside of your comfort zone. Focus on your own path and cut out anything or anyone who stresses you out or causes negativity. It really is as simple as that.Comparing yourself to others is the worst thing you could do to yourself. Insecurities do not get you anywhere. Have the right people around you who feed your soul with positivity and happiness. And definitely stay away from those who like to gossip about others in the industry. Never healthy I tell you. Trust me, I have been there, done that.

My testimony is to help you see the non-glamorous side of my job, but also see how it has never been easy and still isn’t for any of us. In 2007 I tried to take my life. If anyone had told me then, that in 2020 I will be writing a blog about how to deal with negativity, I would have laughed in their face. But here I am today, doing what I love, loving life, and not being the slightest bit deterred by the few who will always try and bring you down. I have an amazing support system of family and friends, and there are hundreds of thousands of you who support me, so surely that has to count for something too. I am so ready to take on the next decade. Are you?

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thewritingandroid · 4 years

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Learning to be Human // Part 5 Lessons on Greed - Markus

A/N: Hi Friends! Sorry it's been so long without an update! I told myself I was gonna update weekly, but then Life happened and it's been a fair few weeks without an update, so I'm gonna give y'all two this week in an attempt to make up for it. I hope you all enjoy!

Word Count: 1824

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Why did you bring her here Hank?”

We were standing outside the medical center. There was a slight breeze that rustled the edges of my jacket. The world around us was especially grey today, and the sky threatened rain. The world looked like how I felt, empty, tired, and distant.

“Sometimes all people need to do to change their minds is personalize the issue. That girl had never seen a deviant before, all she knew were the lies fed to her by CyberLife. I thought if I brought her to see Connor, if she looked into his face, I could change her mind.”

“You were right. She saved his life. Who is she?”

“Her name is Jess Richards. She’s the executive assistant to one of the higher-ups over at CyberLife.”

“That explains how she knows so much about us. I can only hope she’s on our side.”

“She saved Connor, that’s a good step in the right direction for me.”

“Was it weird for you Hank? Seeing him like that when she activated his override?”

“Not really. When I first met Connor he was exactly like that, clean-cut and precise.”

“Really?”

“He wasn’t like that when you met him?”

“When I first met Connor, he had a gun pointed at my head. We were at Jericho, he had turned us over to the authorities, but he seemed so unsure of himself. He wasn’t a deviant yet, he was still completing his mission, but he already seemed to be feeling, choosing for himself. It was strange.”

“I’m not that surprised, Connor did what he wanted when he wanted. He even let a deviant get away to save me. Hell, he’s gotten himself shot a time or two protecting me from deviants.”

“Sometimes I think Connor is more human than the rest of us. Maybe it’s because of something in his programming. Do you think she’d give me details about it if I asked?”

“I’m not sure that should be high on your list of priorities Markus,” He sighed and leaned against the wall, “Did you ask around about the pictures I left with you?”

“I did. May says that none of the officers in the pictures you gave me were the ones at the border when she went to get them yesterday. She says after she alerted them, they told her to go find a safe place, and they would radio for backup and then handle the situation.”

“I got the radio from them, that’s why I showed up. Did anyone see these six yesterday?”

“Some said that they were there early this morning, but I can’t find a single android who saw them after 8 am.”

“Connor was attacked around 9:00.”

“I got some rough sketches of the officers the androids remember seeing after 8 am, maybe they’ll be useful to you as the case progresses.”

“Thanks, I’ll take a look at them when I get back to the office. Are you going to be okay if I leave her under your watch for a few hours? I’ve really got to make some progress on my cases. Things are backing up since Connor has been out.”

“Yeah, it’s fine with me. Are you sure it's fine with her?”

“Markus, she’s so focused on Connor she won't even notice I’m not there.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later Hank.”

“What, you aren’t going to walk me to the border?”

“You know the way by now, and I’m not going to leave a CyberLife employee unattended in the middle of our territory.”

“Don’t trust her?”

“It’s not that. I don't trust some of us to leave her alone. I’ll see you later, get back to the station safe.”

“See ya, Markus.”

I watch Hank leave until he’s out of sight, then I let out the sigh I’ve been holding in since he got here and walk back into the medical center. Jess is still seated on Connor’s bed, all of her focus on the panel she had taken off of his head. She doesn’t look up at me until I sit down on the empty bed next to Connor’s.

“I’m just trying to straighten out the dent.” She smiles, but it’s a nervous smile, “did Hank go back to the station?”

“Yeah, he has work to do. Do you mind if I see that?” I gesture to the panel in her hands and extend my hand for it. She passes it over.

“Don’t we all, I’m missing 20,000 different meetings today. Do you think my boss will buy food poisoning?”

“I think he’ll find it more plausible than a story about how you hung out with android rebels and saved one of their lives,” I smiled and popped the dent out of the panel, then handed it back to her, “I get the sense that people over at CyberLife don’t really like us androids.”

“People fear what they don’t understand.”

“And hate what they can't conquer. Andrew Smith.”

“The world is changing, and the direction that it’s going is losing CyberLife a lot of money.”

“So this all just boils down to human greed?”

“Doesn’t it always?”

“I just find it hard to believe that people could value money over life.”

“That makes you more human than most, Markus.” She looks up at me and smiles, leaning back against the wall. “All of those big executives at CyberLife could stand to receive a lesson on empathy from you.”

“Executives like your boss?”

“Specifically my boss. The man is an absolute nightmare.”

“If he’s so awful, why do you stay?”

“I need the money. Living in this city isn’t cheap.”

“I’m sorry if we lose you your job.”

“Don’t worry about it Markus, I just hope they let me back in long enough to help you all a little more.”

“What do you mean?”

“Connor needs his part, you need access to your factories to make repairs, the fact of the matter is, my job is perfectly situated to help you get those things. Getting Connor’s part should be fairly easy, it’s the factories that will be more difficult.”

“I thought you said CyberLife blocked getting Connor the part?”

“They did, but I can request one under the purpose of research. I can tell CyberLife that after this incident, I want to study the part for defects. It’s still in the plans for the RK900, so it will be fairly easy to get my hands on.”

“900? Is CyberLife still making androids?”

“Not actively, but they’re still drawing up plans and creating new technology.”

She looks away from me quickly and her smile falls.

“What is it?”

“CyberLife is currently testing a bunch of newly developed technology.” She trailed off, looking at her hands, “recently…” she's almost whispering and I have to lean in to hear her, “recently some of the prototypes were stolen from CyberLife headquarters,”

She looks up at me and I can see a mixture of guilt and fear in her eyes.

“What was the technology that was stolen? What did CyberLife create?”

“I don’t know all of the specifics of the project but… CyberLife was in the process of developing anti-android technology.”

“Weapons?”

She answered my question with a small nod and I felt a sharp tingle travel up my spine, “I have to let the others know about this. I’m going to go get them, and when I get back, I’m going to need you to tell me everything you know about this new tech.”

Next thing I know I’m moving through the camp on autopilot, my mind a million miles away. I’m trying to keep the panic from rising into my chest and suffocating me. It’s suddenly very hot outside and I find myself sweating. I need to calm down. I find North first, sitting outside of the house we share.

“North,” I pant, “I need you to get Simon and Josh and meet me back at the medical center.”

“Has something happened to Connor?”

“He’s okay, but I’ve just been made aware of an even bigger issue we might be facing. I need you to get Josh and Simon and bring them to the medical center.”

“Alright, consider it done,” She stands and puts her hand on my arm, “Calm down Markus, whatever this is, I’m sure we’ve been through worse.”

“I hope you’re right.”

I take more time going back, trying to calm my mind and my nerves. My hands are shaking. I don’t remember ever feeling like this before. I think back to how I got here, finding Jericho, becoming their leader, achieving our freedom. Why me? Why was I the leader of Jericho? Why was I the leader of our people? I hadn’t asked for all of this responsibility, all of this pressure. It wasn’t just about leading them anymore. Now I had to protect them, keep them optimistic and hopeful and keep working constantly towards better. I was keeping my people together, but at what cost? Letting myself fall apart? Everywhere I look I see problems. Houses built out of scrap metal, androids huddling together inside of them, and just how dirty everything is. Everyone is tense and everyone is afraid, because no one knows what is going to happen next.

I’m stuck feeling like for every one step we take forward, we take three steps back. I know I’m not being a good example for my people. I spend most of my time locked inside my house trying to figure out what to do next. I preach peace and nonviolence while my people are murdered or shot within our own borders. I talk about progress to anyone who’ll listen, but all I’ve seen the past few weeks has been regression.

I feel alone. I have North, Josh, and Simon, but I don’t think any of them understand just how difficult this has been. I wish Connor hadn’t been shot, I could have really used his advice. He was always impartial and saw the big picture. He understands the consequences of action better than anyone I know. He knows androids and people better than I know either and he knows how to deal with them better. I wish he hadn’t been shot for more reasons than just that though. I fear that his shooting set off a chain of events that I don’t think I will be able to control when the time comes. Already I’m hearing whispers for a plan to strike back. Whispers calling for violence, whispers that I’m not sure I can make listen to reason.

Now I get the news that CyberLife has created anti-android technology and that the tech was stolen, meaning it’s now out in the open. We are slowly walking down the path to inevitable war, and I’m not sure how much longer it can go on before we’re too far gone to turn back.

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starkatana · 5 years

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A Mustache isn't a Disguise

https://todobroki-prompts.tumblr.com/post/183152336183/shouto-nervously-whispering-are-you-and-fuyumi

Based off the above. I read it and thought it was just too perfect! Thank you @todobroki-prompts you’re awesome! Everyone check that blog out! <3

Touya Todoroki x Reader

Dabi AU - Happy Todoroki family life.

Summary: You and Touya go to pick up Shoto’s report card and have a chat with him about his grades and how he does in school. Fun shenanigans.

Note: You and Touya are in your 3rd year at UA (about 17/18). Shoto is 8-years-old in his 2nd year of school.

“Where are your parents, Shoto?

“Uhm. I’ll go call them.”

Shoto goes to the corner of the classroom with his emergency cell phone and nervously calls Fuyumi when Natsuo answers.

“Shoooooooo.”

“Hey. Are you and Fuyumi still coming? Everyone else’s parents already showed up.”

“Yeah…..” he lets out a sheepish laugh. “About that.”

Then almost as if on cue, Touya comes into the classroom wearing a fedora, sunglasses, and a fake mustache.

“Oh no,” and he hangs up the phone. Touya gives Shoto a finger gun, pulling down his shades to wink at him. Shoto immediately gets red and drops his head as low as it can go before sprinting over to his desk.

“Hey.” Touya greets the teacher, “I’m here to pick up Shoto Todoroki’s report card.”

The teacher did a quick up down of Touya and rolled her eyes. If Shoto could hide into a shell and never come out, he would.

“Hey!” You come crashing into the classroom, “This place is huge, you can’t just leave me.” You scold Touya. Immediately Shoto sits up, maybe the plan wasn’t completely ruined.

“And who are you.” The teacher said shifting their attention from Touya to you.

“I’m sorry,” you walk up to the teacher and give her a quick bow, “I’m f/n l/n. I was just in the office getting our visitor passes.” You slap Touya’s visitor sticker onto the back of his jacket. “I’m the Todorokis’ nanny. I have a note from Rei Todoroki for me to pick up Shoto’s report card.” You go to reach into your bag, “They apologize for being unable to make it today, something came up at the office that they couldn’t get out.” You grab the slip and hand it to the teacher.

She takes the note giving an unsure eye glance between you and Touya.

“Todorokis’ nanny? Does that mean you take care of him too?”

“I care for all the Todoroki's after school so that they can do all the activities they need to do.”

The teacher looks over the note.

“I'm also an emergency contact for Shoto,” you say “and if you don't believe me, you can go ask the office.”

“Okay,” the teacher hands you his report card, “Here you go. Some notes: Shoto just has some issues speaking up in class. He excels very well on paper but when it comes to wanting to do group projects he just does it himself, he doesn’t work with other kids.”

“There's nothing wrong with that the kid wants to work by himself let him work!”

You elbow Touya hard in the side. He turns and mouths ‘what?’ you give him the ‘shut the fuck up before I kill you’ eyes.

“Who are you?”

“I'm his brother!” He whips off his fedora and sunglasses.

The teacher rolled her eyes, lets out a deep sigh, and rubs her temples. “We are trying to build communication skills.”

“Thank you.” You intervene, “I understand I'll relay the message back to the Todoroki parents. Thank you for your time. Ready Shoto?” you ask looking around the classroom.

“Mhmm.” Shoto was already at your hip with his bag.

“Oh. That was quick. C’mon Touya.” you encouraged, “Thank you for your time.” You wave goodbye, quickly urging the boys out of the room.

“See you tomorrow, Miss Ume!”

And the three of you walk out.

“Where'd you get that note?” Touya asked.

“Fuyumi wrote it out.” You shrug putting away the report card. “Sho, what's wrong your grades are great and you have so many friends.”

“I don't know.”

“Sho.” you give him a stern look.

“I just don’t mom and dad to worry.”

“Well, why’d they worry?”

“I told mom I’d try harder to work with others, but I just feel like I work better by myself. I don't like to speak up because I don’t like the attention on me. I feel like people are gonna make fun of me. It's weird having two quirks.”

“Sho, you want to be a pro-hero. Right?”

“Yeah...”.

“Pro-heroes have to work with all kinds of people so this is just a step to get you used to working with all kinds of people!”

“Yeah, I know.”

The three of you continue to walk.

“I’m just scared.”

Touya stops. “Sho, give me your bag.” He takes it off and hands it to him. “Could you y/n?”

You nod and take his bag and Sho’s.

Touya then lifts Shoto onto his shoulders and continues walking down the street. “Sho, you don’t need to be scared on who you are you're a Todoroki! Be proud of yourself and who you are! Having two quirks is cool! Makes you twice as cool than someone with only one quirk."

"Really?”

“Yeah, your way cooler than me for sure.”

Sho gets quiet and rests his head on Touya’s.

“If anyone messes with you, you got us.” Touya said, “I’ll always have your back little bro.”

“I’ll try harder.”

“You don't need to change right away,” you bring up, “Make small goals and tell us about them.”

“Even tell your teacher about them!”

“Yeah! Good idea Touya! Then it seemed like you talked with your parents and then Miss Ume can see you trying and working towards your goals.”

“Okay.”

“Oh yeah Touya, we need to submit our volunteer hours to the office tomorrow.”

“Oh shit, yeah I’ll need to go through my phone and check how many hours I worked this last month.”

“Yeah and then we need to go over the spring camp plans.”

“Ughhhhh.”

“You signed up for it.” You laugh.

“I know I’m just lazy.”

“I love you guys”

“We love you too, Shoto,” Touya says without missing a beat. "Always."

You guys walked down the street in silence with the sunny spring chill.

“Hey, Big Brother Touya,”

“What's up?”

“Can you please take that off now? You look silly.”

You look over at Touya and realize that he’s still wearing the fake mustache.

“Wha?” Touya touches his face, “I thought I looked charming.”

-Later that Night-

After Shoto goes to bed and you are with the other Todorokis working on school work,

“Kids?” Enji’s voice boomed.

“In here dad!” Natsuo answered.

“Welcome home!” you greet.

They walk into the study room and Rei crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m not mad. I just want to know whose idea it was to wear a fake mustache.” Her eyes don’t leave Touya.

You share quick glances around the room.

When Natsuo spoke up, “I thought it made him look dapper."

This is when Enji’s fire flame mustache was born in this AU!~

Happy Todoroki family gives me so much life!

Author’s Note: I wasn’t kidding. I have a million stories for this AU mainly because I don’t want to go to go back to my Dabi x Reader(oc) story cause it’s sad as heck. So, I hope you like a happy Todoroki family as much as I love writing them!

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lycorogue · 5 years

Text

Confusion

I’ve been seeing a lot of people freaking out over Adrien’s near-realization that Marinette penned the unsigned Valentine. Which made me think of a chapter from my fanfic “Peeping Tomcat”.

Summary: Something called to Adrien, and before he knew it, he was addicted to sitting outside Marinette’s window as Chat Noir; just watching her. His voyeuristic habit needs to stop, but things have gotten far too complicated now that he realizes he’s growing a crush on her.

Status: Complete; 17 chapters total (84,239 words)

Ships: MariChat/Adrienette

Rating: K+ / General Audiences aging 10+

So, forgive me my shameless plug, but for those who like the pain of near-connections, please feel free to enjoy the below snippet from chapter 7: Confusion. And let us all appreciate our precious little dense bean.

The craving to go back to Marinette's room was consuming. I tried to remind myself that anything interesting she would have done was long over at such a late hour. She was probably asleep. There was no way she'd be up after three, even to draw another design. I wouldn't learn anything new about her. I would just hit an elevated level of creepy: watching her sleep.

Plagg studied me for a minute or two as I paced, before he cocked an eyebrow at me. "If you like this girl so much, just ask her out on a date already."

I froze. The thought hit me hard, like I was slammed into a wall, and ever since I became Chat Noir I had expert knowledge of what that felt like. Was that it? Did I want to date Marinette?

"No!" I shouted back at Plagg, "No, I love Ladybug. I can't like Marinette. Not like that. She's just a friend. A really good friend. That's all."

"Really?" Plagg smirked and floated over to my Foosball table; sitting on one of the figure's heads.

I couldn't believe Plagg had to ask. He should know better. I professed my love for Ladybug daily, sometimes so frequently that he complained about being stuck with a love-sick teenager. There was no doubt in my mind. I knew I loved Ladybug.

Then I thought about hanging out alone with Marinette in her room when we were training for the gaming tournament, and relaxing in the park together. I remembered carrying her in my arms as Chat Noir when I helped her to safety during multiple different akuma attacks. I pictured her goofy, broad smile as she held up the cloth banner she made for Alix and Kim's race, and when she won my father's hat design competition. I recalled how my heart reached out to her when she feared her reserved and honor-bound great-uncle disliked her. I got a flash of her shyness but determination when we had to act out the kissing scene for Nino and Alya's horror movie, and how my heart raced, but my breathing calmed, as I pulled her in.

My chest tightened and I coughed down heartburn. I shook my head hard, trying to scatter those images of Marinette. How could I think of anyone but my Ladybug in a romantic light?

Ladybug was my one and only. She was the one who made my heart try to break free of my ribs whenever I saw her. She was the one who made me feel all warm and goofy inside. She was the one who made my skin tingle whenever she was close, and make my body nearly melt whenever we touched; never wanting the sensation to end. She was the one who made my heart ache, while also making me believe I could fly. Every word was encouraging, even when it was scolding my advances and pet names for her.

The first day we met, Ladybug was nervous about being a superhero, but she forgot that fear the moment she had to protect someone. Instead, she was quick witted and kind. The second time I saw her she was again unsure of herself, ready to quit, but the moment Paris was threatened she regained her fearlessness. She gave an encouraging speech as if the words came naturally to her, and she quickly captured Hawk Moth's akumas like she had been Ladybug for decades. She was steadfast and firm in her determination to protect our city.

The way she knew how to defeat Stoneheart with love instead of force. How she didn't hesitate before leaping off the Eiffel Tower to catch Mylené. The fact that she managed to direct me to save a falling Ivan, while she dove to scoop Mylené out of the air, and still managed to capture the escaping akuma as we lowered everyone safely to the ground. Everything Ladybug did that day was breathtaking. It was that very day that I knew I loved her.

I also knew my draw to her wasn't just me being awe-struck by a fellow superhero. As I worked more and more with her I became entranced by how she's so confident all the time, but also willing to admit that her confidence sometimes makes her screw up. Even when it's evident that she could probably protect Paris by herself, she always tells everyone that we're a team; equals. She values my input. She's kind. She's smart. She's playful, even when she reprimands me for not taking the situation seriously. She's constantly thinking of others. She's down-to-earth, and never lets the power she has go to her head.

There were a million reasons why I knew I loved Ladybug. However, as I started mentally counting them, I slowly forgot if I was describing my superhero partner, or Marinette. My classmate and friend also had moments where she was filled with confidence. She could be equally steadfast as she held her ground against Chloé. Up against an akuma villain, Marinette was just as fast thinking and brave, as if the situation she found herself in was everyday for her. There were very few problems she couldn't find solutions to, and she became hyper-focused whenever a task was important to her. Most importantly, she cared and fought for the happiness of others first and foremost.

"Marinette reminds me of Ladybug so much." Although I had deduced as much the night before, it was the first time I had verbalized it.

Marinette's blue eyes returned to me. They were so large, and deep, and grateful, and pleading. They burrowed their way into my mind. I again wondered how I had never noticed her eye color before. Raven hair and blue eyes weren't an average combination. How was it that until that morning I would have told anyone that Marinette had grey eyes? Had I paid such little attention? How did I know so little about someone I considered a close friend?

Marinette had blue eyes, just like Ladybug. She also kept her pigtails tied back in red bands. I still couldn't figure out if that was an homage to Ladybug's red hair ribbons, or if she had worn them all along. Either way, it was another connection to Ladybug. There were beginning to be so many.

I tried to shake the thought out of my head. I couldn't handle the conclusion I kept falling into: Marinette and Ladybug were two sides of the same coin. It contradicted the Marinette I had known for nearly a year. Then again, everything I saw the past week already tore down what I thought I knew about the black-haired girl. Yet it also seemed to confirm it. It was confusing. I felt like I didn't know Marinette at all, but that I also knew her from the second she accused me of putting gum on her chair.

As I tried to sort things out, my focus landed on my computer screens. They still had Alya's Ladyblog up. The entire right side of the site's homepage was covered by a familiar shape: Ladybug's silhouette with a large question mark where her face should be. My muddled mind became clear and more clouded at the same time.

"Plagg, am I projecting? Do I want Marinette to have the same traits as Ladybug? Is that it? I do love Ladybug, but I can't be with her. Meanwhile, I know exactly where Marinette is, and I can see her whenever I want. Do I only think Marinette is a lot like Ladybug because I want her to be? Am I aching to see Marinette so badly because I really want to see Ladybug? Is Marinette just some living proxy?"

I thought back to Théo's Ladybug and Chat Noir statue at the Place des Vosges, and how I would go there and stare at the statue whenever I wanted to see Ladybug. I hadn't stopped at that statue all week. Had my mind replaced it with something made of flesh and blood? Was I still doing the same thing? Pretending so I could believe I could be with Ladybug?

I began to hyperventilate.

"Whoa, Adrien, calm down. You're thinking too much into this." Plagg flew over to my shoulder, but I hardly noticed his presence.

I plopped onto my couch, suddenly dizzy. How could I have let things get this far? I thought I was finally seeing the real Marinette, but was I really just projecting elements of Ladybug onto Marinette so I could have a surrogate? How was that fair to either of them? I felt like I betrayed them both. I betrayed my feelings for Ladybug by trying to find someone more easily accessible to replace her with; showcasing the parts I loved the most about her in some other woman so I wouldn't feel ashamed about giving up on my partner. I had betrayed Marinette as well. Not only by spying on her every day the past week, but also by pretending I finally saw her. I didn't see her at all. I saw an illusion I projected onto her. What kind of friend was I?

Want to read more? You can find the whole chapter here: Chapter 7: Confusion.

Want to read from the beginning (I mean, if you haven’t read it, you should probably start at the beginning), you can find it on these three sites: on AO3, on FFN, on DA

Thank you for indulging my shameless plug for my work. ^_^ <3

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exoticarmy127 · 5 years

Text

Waste It On Me (You, Jungkook, V) Part 2/3

🎵 “We don’t gotta go there, past lovers and warfare. It’s just you and me now.” - Waste it On Me by Steve Aoki feat. BTS

PART 1

Y/N winced as she dabbed some ointment onto her wound, blowing on it a little before placing the bandage on. She couldn’t believe how her night just turned out. From all the things that could happen…from all the people she could meet…

Just then, her phone rang, snapping her from her thoughts. She figured it must be Taehyung as she had taken a few more minutes longer than she should’ve.

“Hello?” She answered as she grabbed her jacket hanging on her bed’s headboard. “Tae?”

“Hey, I’m here. What’s taking you so long? I’m starved!”

“I’m coming down now.” She said as she locked her door and moved towards the elevators. “Sorry, I—uh had a bit of an accident.”

“Accident? Did you trip on even path again.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Ha-ha funny. No, I…bumped into someone.”

“Oh. Who?”

Y/N sighed as she pressed the button, thinking it’s definitely something she didn’t want to talk about over the phone (or at all, if she was being honest).

“I’ll tell you over dinner.” She responded just as the elevator doors opened. Y/N almost dropped her phone when the last person she expected (and wanted) to see was suddenly standing there on her floor—right in front of her.

“Are you following me?” Y/N blurted without thinking, but Jungkook—who initially had a surprised expression on his face—looked mildly offended.

“No. I live here.”

Now it was Y/N’s turn to be surprised. But she wasn’t going to fall for his lies just like that. “Funny.” She scoffed. “That’s really funny, Jungkook.”

Jungkook raised a paper to her face. “See for yourself.” As she grabbed it, she borrowed briefly through it and realized that it was a contract for the lease of the dorm apartment. To make things even more surprising, he’s staying at the recently vacant room on her floor...which also happened to be right across from her.

“Whatever.” Y/N handed him back the paper hastily with a grumble before stepping into the elevator.

“Hey.”

Y/N should’ve just ignored him. That would’ve been the reasonable thing to do. But somehow, she found herself holding onto the wrong button that kept the doors opened. She looked at him, gauging his expression and was confused to find only concern in his eyes.

“What?”

“Your arm.” He pointed. “Are you okay?”

She looked down at her bandage arm. “Oh. Uh, yeah. Already treated it.” Did I just hear right? Is Jungkook asking if I’m okay?

“You fell pretty hard. Do I need to take you to a hospital? Or the campus clinic, at least?”

Y/N was even more surprised by the offer, unsure why he would be concerned for her well-being when not so long ago, he made it pretty clear that he wanted nothing to do with her.

Willing herself not to be fazed by his concern, she stood straighter and shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s just a scratch, and I can take care of myself.”

“Are you sure— “

“Yeah. Pretty sure. So, you can go on along. Wouldn’t want you wasting your time on someone who’s not worth it, right?”

She felt a rush at her words, not meaning to blurt out the memory she had tried so hard to forget. By the way Jungkook’s expression turned from concerned to dark—and if she read correctly, a little upset—he clearly picked up on the reference too. He looked like he was about to say something and she wasn’t sure if she could stay there any longer in the presence of the one boy who impetuously broke her heart into a million, tiny pieces. With that, she let her finger move over to the close button, putting an end to their conversation.

“Bye, Jungkook.” She said just as the elevator doors closed.

~~~

PRESENT

Y/N was able to calm Jen down after an hour of talking and right now, they had retreated to the back room where she had invited her to snack on some cookies she baked earlier that day. It would take at least an hour or so until the bookshop owner returned and Y/N decided to wait as she was clearly instructed not close up on her own. Not because she couldn’t handle it on her own, of course, but because the owner didn’t want to impose on her. After all, she was just watching over the shop for the day as a favor.

“I wanted to ask, Y/N.” Jen started as she munched on a cookie. “What happened to that guy who broke your heart?”

Y/N simply sighed, a small smile on her lips. “You mean after high school?” Jen nodded. “Never really saw him for a couple of years. But we met in college again.”

“Did you give him a piece of your mind?”

Y/N chuckled. “He actually became my neighbor. Lived right next door.”

“What?! That’s crazy?! How did you even manage to face that douche every day?”

Y/N paused at that, thinking how she had asked herself the same thing back then. How did she manage to face the man who broke her heart all those years ago and not want to break down in tears or hurl the nearest table lamp at him?

The answer?

“I don’t know... but one thing’s for sure, then. He was different when I met him again.”

“Different how? Like...’a changed man’?” Jen quoted with a snicker.

Y/N shrugged. “Just different.”

~~~

FLASHBACK

Y/N didn’t tell Taehyung about meeting Jungkook again. She didn’t even mention that the guy who humiliated her and trashed her feelings back then was currently living in the same building as hers—on the same floor, right across from her flat. The reason? She knew he would throw a fit and maybe give Jungkook a piece of his fist if given the chance. She also knew he would’ve offered to have her live in his apartment where she sometimes stayed when they worked on school projects together and when they had their Friday movie night rituals. But most of all, Y/N didn’t want him freaking out or worrying. She can handle this. It’s not like Jungkook was her ex. She barely made it to the friends stage; not to mention her confession was a total disaster.

I’ve moved on, she told (convinced) herself.

Jungkook as a neighbor was safe to say, uneventful as he rarely showed his face and they barely crossed paths despite living right across from each other. She figured they had very different schedules as she would often catch Jungkook leaving on his bike in the afternoon just as she’s returning to the building. Also, she never bumped into him in the mornings. She thought it was for the best. The less she saw of him, the better.

A month passed and Y/N was starting to feel comfortable with the idea of Jungkook living next door, considering she never really saw the guy and it’s almost as if he didn’t exist.

But of course, fate had different plans when on a nice, homework-less Friday night, Y/N strolled through their library’s door with a new mystery tucked in her arm, only to be welcomed by an unexpected sight.

The library was packed for some reason on a Friday night, with groups of students filling most of the tables. But that wasn’t the reason why Y/N suddenly felt her heart drum in her chest. For right there, sitting on one of the tables was Jungkook with his headphones on while hunched over the desk, writing something on a notebook.

The sight shouldn’t have affected her, really. Except the only seat available then was right across where he was sitting. Y/N had second thoughts about leaving but she decided against it, thinking how she already came all this way.

I’m a strong woman, Y/N pepped talk herself as she stood straighter and marched towards his desk. I can do this! Cute boys don’t scare me.

Once she was right in front of him, she cleared her throat, intending to get his attention and ask if the seat was taken—even though it looks like he was alone. Y/N didn’t want to be rude if he wanted some space.

However, Jungkook didn’t look up at her first attempt… and the second and that’s when she realized he had his headphones on and would probably only notice her if she danced like a chicken or—as any normal person would—tapped him. The former option seemed unlikely and so she reluctantly reached out and tapped his shoulder twice, causing the boy to look up with a jolt, wide-eyed.

Cute boys don’t scare me... she thought defiantly just as Jungkook removed his headphones, setting his doe-eyes on hers.

But this one might, a small voice said in her head and she swallowed.

“Y/N.” He said and there was genuine surprise in his tone. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

Y/N was quick to snap from her trance and mustered a small smile. “It’s fine. Sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering if this seat’s taken?” She pointed at the chair across from him. “Sorry, I—the other tables are full.”

Jungkook looked around then, as if he didn’t realize he was in the library, before setting his gaze back to her. “Oh, no. Go ahead.”

Y/N blinked, unsure if she heard him right. Jungkook just smiled and offered the seat willingly, she thought as she sat; remembering how back then, he barely acknowledged her, and when he actually did, it was usually to ask her to shut up. Y/N was adamant not to make the same mistake again, however, and forced herself not to make small talk or even make the slightest of noises that could annoy him.

“What you got there?” He suddenly asked and Y/N tensed up.

Now he’s attempting small talk?

“Um,” Y/N paused for a while, still shocked. “It’s a book.”

“I know it’s a book.” He rolled his eyes. “I meant what are you reading?”

“Oh, uh. A mystery.”

“Cool.”

“I didn’t know you drew.” Y/N said, surprised to have said her thoughts out loud when she observed that the notepad he was busy with was actually a sketchpad and she could catch a glimpse of a really nice sketch of a human hand in front of him.

Jungkook seemed to become shy at the mention of it. “Not really. I just dabble when I have time. “

“What are you talking about?” She pointed at the pad. “That looks pretty amazing to me.”

He smiled. “Thanks.”

“Are you an art major, then?”

A nod. “Graphic design.”

“‘I just dabble.’” She snorted as she quoted his words a while ago. Jungkook rubbed his nape, a slight blush coloring his cheeks.

“Okay, maybe I dabble a lot more often than usual.”

She laughed. He laughed. And it was so easy forgetting like there was nothing wrong between them. But as soon as Y/N realized that, she wiped off the smile on her face and pretended to start reading, covering half her face with the book.

You’re supposed to be mad at him, damn it!

After that night, Y/N began seeing Jungkook more and more at the library. Sometimes, it would still be packed and Y/N would have no choice but to ask to share again. Jungkook would happily oblige and they would settle into—as she so hated to admit—a comfortable silence; reading or with Jungkook, drawing. Some nights, Y/N would get their first and almost always, Jungkook would arrive and ask to share her table, despite having several tables vacant. Y/N had wanted to say no. She really did, but she wasn’t sure why she couldn’t seem to find it in her to say “No, sorry. The next table’s vacant, though” every single time.

Worst of all, the boy kept making small talk and Y/N found herself falling for the trap every time, cracking at his jokes and even letting him in on what happened that day. It was almost too easy: talking with him, laughing with him… And if Y/N didn’t hate him so much, she would’ve thought of him as a friend.

A friend...she wondered as she stared at him drawing, thinking whether or not it’s a good or bad idea to be friends with him.

~~~

One night, Y/N planned to work on their charity fair tomorrow. She and Taehyung had teamed up with a couple of their friends: Kim Seokjin, a senior and Y/N’s culinary student mentor and Kim Namjoon, also a senior and Taehyung’s close friend in his business classes, to put up a booth and sell some baked delicacies for their joint project. After their meeting, she found herself lugging boxes of ingredients to her dorm for her cupcakes. She was carrying a couple up to her room when she suddenly felt the box’s weight lighten and fingers grazing her hands that sent a shock of electricity to course through her veins.

When she craned her neck to look at the person who helped her, she can’t say she’s surprised to see Jungkook there.

“Need help?” He said and gave her a small smile that almost seemed shy.

Y/N knew she should’ve declined, not wanting to owe the guy anything afterwards. But she was desperate to get those boxes upstairs and get started on her baking for the fair tomorrow to even let her pride get the best of her.

“Thank you.” She sighed in relief as she let him take the boxes. “Could you take them to my door? I have a few more in the truck— “

“Don’t worry about it, I got it.” Jungkook said before moving towards the elevators. Y/N stopped at that, unsure how to take his generosity.

After the boxes were all settled in her room, she turned towards Jungkook who just set the final box on her doorstep.

“That’s all of it.” He said as he stood straighter before giving an awkward wave and turning away to leave.

“Jungkook,” she called, and he looked over his shoulder questioningly. “Thank you.”

For the first time in a very long while, she saw him smile. And it wasn’t the teasing smile he used on her back in high school nor was it the friendly smile he showed her during their nights in the library. No. There was something different about it. It wasn’t even shy or awkward, but one that looked genuine.

“You’re welcome.”

And that only made Y/N hate him even more. Because that smile will forever be etched in her brain, considering the way her heart skipped a bit by the mere sight of it.

That night, Y/N stayed up till half past 11 PM baking and making sure everything was set for the charity fair tomorrow. Seokjin and Namjoon were tasked for the cookies and scones while Y/N and Taehyung got cupcake duty. Taehyung had some family plans he couldn’t get out of tonight but promised to come in bright and early tomorrow to help her with the frosting. Considering she had a bit of time and the desire to sleep hasn’t set in yet, Y/N decided to start frosting the last batch she made and suddenly thought of Jungkook and how he had helped her out earlier that day. Her hands seemed to have a mind of its own when she’s all of a sudden setting aside a couple of already-frosted cupcakes and placing them into a small box. She looked at the time and saw that it’s almost midnight, and debated whether or not she should go ahead and give it to him or wait till morning.

He’s probably asleep, she thought. But another side of her also said that most college students are night owls anyways, and there’s a huge chance that Jungkook would still be awake. After a few minutes of convincing herself to go for it or back out, Y/N finally decided to just do it.

#YOLO, right?

With the cupcake box in her hands, Y/N opened her door and heard faint music playing that seemed to be coming off Jungkook’s room.

Great, he’s awake… she thought, unsure if that was a good sign or not. It’s just a cupcake, Y/N. You’re just here to thank him for helping you out this afternoon.

After a few minutes of idling, Y/N finally stepped forward and knocked on his door. The music stopped all of a sudden and she heard footsteps coming towards her...

She wasn’t exactly prepared for Jungkook returning into her life—even more so a sweaty and obviously working-out Jungkook in a muscle tee and board shorts to face her on a fine Friday night.

Emphasis on fine, she thought as she observed his biceps.

“Y/N.” He said, sounding genuinely surprised as he pushed back his wet fringe. Y/N swallowed, feeling the heat creep up her cheeks. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

Pause.

“Um. Can I help you?” he asked and his words were enough to break her from her trance.

“Oh. Sorry. I know it’s late but um, I just...I wanted to give you these.” She handed him the box. “Not sure if you’ve noticed but the boxes a while ago were ingredients for the fair tomorrow and I was making a few batches of cupcakes tonight and figured to give you some.”

“For me?” Jungkook smiled widely then as he looked down at the box and Y/N whimpered internally, wishing he would stop smiling like that.

“Yeah I mean, as a thank you for helping me a while ago.” She looked over his shoulder and caught sight of a punching bag. She returned to his sweaty state and figured he must be working out. “Sorry. I think it might have just ruined your diet.”

Jungkook laughed a little at that and Y/N would be lying if she didn’t think it was cute. “Uh yeah, but I love cupcakes.” He opened the box to peek inside and his eyes lit up. “Are these blueberry cupcakes?” She nodded. “They’re my favorite!”

“Really?” She asked as Jungkook took one big bite.

“Oh wow.” He said, eyes widening that Y/N was reminded of a little boy who just saw his presents on Christmas Day. “These are really good!”

Y/N felt pride burning in her chest. She loved it whenever someone complimented her baking.

“Thanks. I’m glad you like it.”

Jungkook placed the cupcake back inside the box and smiled at her.

Damn it! Stop smiling!

“Thank you. You just made my day with these.”

Y/N felt her heart race at his words and not trusting her speech to reply, she simply nodded and began to turn away. But before she opened her door, he called, “Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

Jungkook looked like he was about to say something but decided against it in the end. “Thank you, again. And good luck with the bake fair. I hope I can drop by and get some more tomorrow?” He smiled, but it looked almost flirty...

“You don’t have to. I can leave some for you, if you want.” She said and the moment the words were out of her mouth, she wanted to take them back.

Did I just offer him more cupcakes? I might as well have sold my soul to the devil!

But it was too late. Jungkook had caught on pretty quickly and his eyes twinkled.

“Sweet.” He simply said with a lazy smile on his lips before holding up the cupcakes again. “Thanks for this. Sleep well, yeah?”

“You too.”

“I know I will. Your cupcakes will make sure of that.” He winked and then turned to close his door.

Y/N release the breath she was unconsciously holding, her heart racing a few miles per hour as she thought of what she had just done.

I’m screwed! I’m screwed! I’m screwed! she repeated in her head like a mantra, worrying perhaps she hasn’t moved on completely, after all.

~~~

“I can’t believe we sold out everything!” Namjoon grinned as he counted the money inside their safe while Taehyung, Jin and Y/N busy themselves with clearing up their stall. It was a good thing there were no leftovers, making it easier to clean up.

“That just goes to show you have no faith in my delicious cookies and Y/N’s cupcakes.” Jin snickered as he gave Y/N a fist bump.

“No, we have complete faith in you guys.” Namjoon pointed out. “I just didn’t think people would actually buy them without even tasting them first.”

“Must be my good looks.” Taehyung smirked, and Y/N rolled her eyes. If she was being honest, the years had been kind with Taehyung and no longer was he the scrawny, glasses-wearing kid in high school, now replaced by broader shoulders and eyes that definitely had the female population of their campus melt with his gorgeous stares. Y/N once overheard some of the girls talking that he was the epitome of beauty and brains.

“No. I think it was mine.” Namjoon stuck out his tongue at him.

“No, you’re both wrong.” Jin said as he hung his arm over Y/N’s shoulders. “It was definitely mine. Didn’t you see me entertaining my future restaurant clients like a pro?”

Jin’s statement was met by snorts and laughter but none of them tried to defy him since first, Jin was a brilliant chef and second, he’s voted as the most eligible bachelor on campus.

“Oh hey, we have a couple of blueberries here.” Taehyung suddenly said as he opened a pink box tucked underneath the table. The moment she heard his words, Y/N snapped up and immediately took the box—one that held the cupcakes she had set aside for someone...

“Oh, those are mine. I uh—baked some extra.”

“Oh. Cool. Can I have one, then?” Taehyung began to reach out for the box but jumped when Y/N suddenly pulled it out of her reach.

“No!” She half-yelled, earning weird looks from her friends. “I mean...I wanted to eat two.”

“Oh come on, Y/N.” Taehyung whined as he began to reach for it again. “Gimme!!”

“Tae, no—” she shrieked out in laughter when Taehyung’s hands found her waist, poking her tickle spot. “Tae! Stop!”

“Make me.” Taehyung said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and twirled her around, earning a squeal from his best friend. Not wanting to fall off, Y/N wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, laughing as he continued to spin her around.

“Oh hey, little man. You’re late!”

Y/N and Taehyung suddenly stopped twirling to face their guest, and the couple’s smiles fell so fast it was almost comical—but for fairly different reasons.

“Oh yeah guys, this is my cousin Jungkook.” Jin said as he placed an arm around the younger, pulling him closer to his side. “He just moved in a few weeks ago.”

“It’s been a month or so, Jin.” Jungkook muttered before turning toward everyone and earning a punch from Jin who mumbled something about respecting him as his “hyung”. “Hello. It’s nice to meet you.”

Y/N felt Taehyung stiffen beside her and she hoped Jungkook wouldn’t give her any special intro—

“Y/N.” Jungkook settled his gaze on hers with a small smile on his lips.

Uh-oh. “Hi.” She replied and she could practically feel Taehyung’s judging gaze beside her.

“You two know each other?” Jin asked and while Y/N remained silent for the sake of keeping Taehyung calm, Jungkook nodded.

“She’s my flat neighbor.”

“Flat neighbor?” Taehyung echoed, his tone so unbelieving that it caught everyone’s attention.

“Oh yeah. You’re Taehyung, right?”

Taehyung faced Jungkook then, looking almost insulted.

“Yeah, he’s Tae. I told you about Namjoon’s friend, right?” Jin said and Jungkook nodded before reaching out his hand to shake. Taehyung, unfortunately, only looked down at it like he just grew an extra finger, not bothering to take it.

Jungkook seemed to get the message and retreated his hand a little awkwardly; and Y/N wanted the ground to swallow her whole then.

“So uh, I guess I’m too late, huh? I was hoping to get more of Y/N’s cupcakes.” Jungkook told Jin and glanced briefly at Y/N.

“Oh, really?” Jin said just as Taehyung mumbled under his breath, “More?”

“Yeah, I had some before. They were really good.”

“Before?” Taehyung hissed under his breath at Y/N once more. He suddenly looked down at his hand—right at the box holding two cupcakes. It was then that everything fell into place and made sense.

“Don’t worry,” Taehyung said, his voice low and dark as he handed the box to Jungkook. “Y/N saved some for you.”

Jungkook beamed at that and Y/N really wished she could disappear then. Taehyung was practically fuming beside her while here was Jungkook, oblivious to it all.

Why is that? She had no idea.

Jungkook took the box and casted Y/N a small smile. “You didn’t have to. But, thank you.”

Y/N forced a smile. “Don’t mention it.”

“Hey I’m just gonna go. I’ll be back in a bit alright?” Taehyung turned and left without waiting for anyone’s reply and Y/N knew she had a lot of explaining to do.

“I’m gonna go too. We’ll be back.” Y/N said but just before she left, Jungkook caught up to her.

“Hey, Y/N. “

“Yeah?” Y/N half turned, itching to catch up to Taehyung.

“I…” Jungkook bit her lip, looking like he was trying to build up the courage to say something.

“What is it?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to hangout sometime? Say this Friday night?”

Y/N gasped inwardly. If she didn’t know any better, it sounded like Jungkook was asking her out on a date.

“There’s a band playing at the bar in town.” He added. “And I... well, my friend’s in it and I wanted to ask if you’d want to come and watch?”

Y/N stared at him, unsure what to say.

“That is if you’re not busy, of course. I totally understand if you can’t— “

“Sure.” Y/N blurted and once the words were out of her lips, she couldn’t quite believe she just said that. But looking at Jungkook’s nervous smile, tripping on his words and seeming all shy to ask her out, she couldn’t find herself to say no.

Even if Jungkook was a douche and broke her heart in high school. No biggy.

Jungkook looked relieved at her answer. “Okay. Cool. Uh, Friday at six? I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

Y/N only nodded while Jungkook bid his goodbye and turned to leave. Once he turned the corner, Y/N then turned to find Taehyung—only to be faced by a very pissed off best friend. The silence was so heavy it was deafening and if stares could kill, Y/N would have long been dead by now with how Taehyung was looking at her.

“Tae, I can explain.”

Taehyung shook his head as he stepped towards her. “Explain? You don’t need to. I saw all I needed to see.”

He moved to walk past her but Y/N held on to his wrist. “Tae, please— “

“From all people, Y/N.” Taehyung scoffed as he half-turned to face her. “Why him? Why Jungkook?”

“Tae, there’s nothing going on! He’s literally just my neighbor.”

“Then what was that about?!”

“What?!”

“Oh don’t give me that, Y/N. You know pretty damn well what.”

“It’s nothing, Tae.”

“It didn’t look like nothing to me!”

“Tae, I swear. It’s nothing to be worried about!” She argued. “He’s just my neighbor.”

“Yes, a neighbor you just agreed to go on a date with.” He snapped, and Y/N swallowed. Taehyung rarely raised his voice at her and it was scary seeing him this way. “A neighbor you happened to be in love with and who broke your heart all those years ago!” He added and Y/N couldn’t find the strength to correct him. Not when the words rang painfully true…

“Tae… it’s really— “

“Or did you actually forget?” He spat and Y/N felt tears pricking her eyes then, thinking that she looked pretty pathetic with how Taehyung was wording it out.

“Did you actually forget, Y/N? What he did to you? Because back there, that son of a—” he growled. “He just acted like he didn’t know me—know us! And I don’t know what game he’s playing, Y/N, but that’s messed up! And I’m not going to watch you fall for his trap again.”

“Maybe he’s changed!” Y/N defended but she knew she was being unreasonable. Hearing herself, she wanted to scold herself the way Taehyung was doing at the moment.

Taehyung, in turn, regarded her with a confused and annoyed look. “Changed? Y/N, do you even hear yourself right now? That guy humiliated you and treated your feelings like trash in high school. And you’re saying, he’s ‘changed’?” He finger-quoted. “No. He can’t change after just two or three years. He can’t just forget and move on from that! Did he even apologize for what he did to you when you saw him again?” Y/N remained silent, making him scoff. “Of course. Why am I not surprised? That’s just like him. That’s just freakin’ like him!”

“Tae, please. Just hear me out— “

“I don’t want to hear it if you’re just going to defend him.” Taehyung said, and his voice had gone eerily calm. “I can’t hear that, Y/N. I won’t. So, please. Just tell me you won’t go on that date with him.”

Y/N opened her mouth to speak but no words seemed to come out and right then, Taehyung for her answer. His eyes turned dark, sadness and anger reflected upon his eyes.

“You know what? Fine. If you want to be blind and stupid... be my guest! Just a reminder, he’s the one who broke your heart. And was he there to pick up the pieces? No... I was! I was there, Y/N. And I’m still here.” He emphasized, eyes shaking with unshed tears. “I saw what he did to you and if I have one advice to give, it’ll be the same one I gave you all those years ago.”

Without another word, Taehyung left, leaving Y/N in tears and a heavy heart. As she stood there alone on the sidewalk, Taehyung’s words from before reverberated in her head, reminding her over and over again...

I don’t like that you like him, Y/N. He’s trouble.

~~~

PRESENT

“What do you mean he didn’t remember you? He obviously did!” Jen shouted and Y/N shushed her when a customer eyed them from the aisle.

“That’s what I thought back then, too.”

“So what did you do?”

“What anyone would do... I asked someone who might know.”

~~~

FLASHBACK

“Hey Jin, can I ask you something?”

It was early in the morning and Jin was currently marinating a huge chunk of beef in their kitchen lab at school while Y/N helped him prepare a special broth he had originally made and hoping to make an official recipe in a cook book he’s currently writing.

“Sure. What about?”

“Nothing important. Just your cousin… Jungkook.”

Jin paused from massaging the meat to give her a knowing look. “What about my cousin?”

“I don’t like him.” She said almost defensively.

“I never said you did.” Jin wiggled his eyebrows insinuatingly.

“Yeah, but your face tells me you think I— “

“Okay. What do you need to know, my dear mentee? How he likes his eggs in the morning? I’m pretty sure he likes them scrambled— “

“Jin.” She cut him off with a groan. “I’m being serious here.”

“Eggs are very serious matters, Y/N. I taught you that.”

“I just…” she sighed. “I know him. Jungkook, I mean.”

“Yes. I’m aware. I introduced you guys the other day at the fair.”

“No... I mean, I knew him before that.”

“Ah yeah, he told me you lived next door to each other.”

“No.” She huffed, thinking how this was harder than she thought. “I mean, I know him from way back… like in high school. We used to be schoolmates.”

Jin’s smile faltered from his lips, then. “Oh.”

“Oh?” She tilted her head, unsure why Jin suddenly looked a little sad. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re asking me...why he can’t remember you.” Jin stated rather than asked, confusing her even more. “Is that why Taehyung looked so affronted the other day?”

Y/N wanted tell him that was partly the reason, not wanting to get into the messy bits of their relationship before.

“Kind of.”

Jin nodded in understanding. “Well, first of all, I’m not sure if I should be the one telling you this when you can ask him about it yourself. But since we’re here and I don’t think there’s any harm in telling… you should know that he’s not doing it on purpose.”

“What do you mean?”

“My cousin is suffering from memory loss.”

“Memory loss? You mean he has amnesia?” Jin nodded. “How—?”

“Terrible bike accident a couple of years ago. He uh—crashed, pretty hard. It’s a miracle he’s alive now, if I’m being honest. He fought hard through the surgery and was in coma for about a year or so. Nobody ever thought he’d even wake up.”

Y/N covered her lips to suppress her gasp. No wonder Jungkook disappeared back then. He wasn’t in jail or moved to a new place…

He was in a coma.

“So yeah, that accident caused a severe damage in his brain—specifically the part that processes memories. He hardly remembers events that happened prior to his accident and is still struggling remembering faces and names. But he’s gotten through it with a bit of help from his family. He remembers me now,” he chuckled but there was no amusement in it. “All I’m saying is that if you guys were close then, don’t be mad that he can’t remember. It’s not his fault. And hey, maybe the more time you guys spend together, he’ll remember bits and pieces of your past. That’s how it worked for me; showed him pictures and stuff. Really helped.”

After their conversation, Y/N worked silently throughout the day, taking all the information in. A lot of things made sense now: like how Jungkook acted all nice around her now and how he never did once bring up their past.

Why he never apologized…

But right then, Y/N was torn between staying away and accepting his fate and move on, because Jin was right about Jungkook not being at fault for not remembering and they could maybe start anew. If she stayed away though, Jungkook would surely ask why she was avoiding him and how on earth will she tell him about their past?

How could she be mad at him for something he can’t even remember?

Y/N felt the beginnings of a headache from thinking too hard. At the end of the day, however, as she was walking down the street towards her apartment building, she looked at the pedestrian and a thought came to her like a bulb lighting in her head. She remembered one tiny detail she had almost missed to consider...

If Jungkook truly lost his memories like Jin had said, then how on earth did he know her name the first night they met when he almost ran into her with his bike?

To be continued.

Come scream at me for more... :P

- Kaye Allen

#BTS scenarios #Bangtan scenarios #BTS #Jungkook scenarios #Taehyung scenarios #BTS Jungkook #BTS Taehyung #kpop fanfiction #kpop #beyond the scene #bangtan sonyeondan #Bangtan fanfiction #BTS fanfic #Taehyung fanfic #BTS V #Jeon Jungkook #Kim Taehyung #LSS #Love song series

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privateer-universe-blog · 5 years

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Project X, Episode 3

Bad Company

Intergalactic Red Cross Official Log

Cross-12: Florence

17:56, Mountain Planet Athnan, 3/27/30141

I got through most of the party by running through repair manuals for Cross-12 on my computer chip, up until when the Queen came to greet us. I shifted uncomfortably in my suit, glancing nervously around at the other partygoers. There were a few different species here, but they were all relatively humanoid. Most of them hailed from the same system. James looked much more relaxed than I felt, having done this sort of work a million times. The queen, in her crimson dress and gold corset, gracefully and graciously spoke with each guest. It was hard to believe that she and her husband created an entire fake world just to prevent a revolt. Anything for power, I guess. I had been worried about the illusions clashing with the information from my chip, but the antidote had done its job well. James and I stood in the corner, waiting anxiously for the queen to greet us. Finally, she reached our group.

The queen addressed James first “You look vaguely familiar. Have we met before?”

James swallowed, glancing at me.

I put my hand on James’ arm “My wife―” god it felt weird saying that, “―gets that a lot. She just has one of those faces.” I cringed internally. Seriously? That’s the best I could come up with?

James smiled awkwardly at me. “I do, don’t I, darling? Your Majesty, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

The queen smiled. I noticed that her eyes held little of the warmth in her smile. “The pleasure is all mine. I do hope there will be peace between our planets for years to come.”

And with that, she left in a sweep of gold and red.

James rounded on me. “Nice save. I’m sure that won’t get us caught,” she hissed.

I shrugged, even though I was shaking slightly. “I’m trying. I’m not as good at this as you are. I’m not even sure why they picked me.”

James sighed. “Just, let me do the talking, okay?” She grinned. “You can be my arm candy.”

I breathed out a shaky laugh. That I could do.

After the King and Queen made their rounds, soft music began to float through high-tech speakers on the walls. Couples began introductions and various rulers made small talk. I noticed a man standing on his own, watching the proceedings with the eyes of a hawk. He was looking for someone. James saw him too, and quickly pulled me into a conversation with the leaders of a planet close to the one we were supposedly ruling.

This pair were an older couple dressed in yellow. James spoke with them for a few minutes on the topic of alliances in the Kalaius System and the environmental health of dark spots in our ‘home system’.

I kept my eyes on the man, even while responding to the couple. He caught my eye and I looked away quickly. James suddenly dragged us away again, hurriedly saying goodbyes and excuses while she pulled me in the direction of the private meeting rooms and the lavatories.

“Okay,” she said, once we were situated behind an unsuspicious-looking potted plant. “That man you keep looking at is the Minister of Pharmaceutical Practices, which is basically a fancy way of saying he’s the head of the whole operation, and he’s been notified that there might be IRC involvement tonight,” she rattled off.

I nodded. “So what’s the plan?”

James frowned at me. “You mean to tell me that you don’t have―”

I ran a hand through my hair. “This is your mission and you expected me to have the plan? Great. Did you know he would be here?”

James shook her head. “No. I knew he existed, but I didn’t think he would―”

“Of course he’s here!” I whisper-yelled. “I love you, but you are an idiot sometimes.”

James grabbed my shoulder. “Shut up. He’s looking this way. Act natural.”

“‘Act natural’ she says,” I groaned.

We watched anxiously as the the guy slowly turned back to a conversation with a pair of green-clad nobles.

James glared at me. “The information we’re looking for. An agent by the name of Dmitri should have it.

I nodded slowly, glancing around nervously. “And,” I whispered, “Do we know where he would be? Or what he looks like?”

“Hot.”

“James. Focus. Give me details, I don’t want to be stuck at this godforsaken party longer than I have to be.”

“Fine. Well, I worked with him a couple years back. He’s about yea high,―” she waved her hand at a spot above my left shoulder “―with black hair and blue eyes.”

“Okay. Do you know where he’d be?”

“Uh, he’s one of the staff here.”

I sighed. “Do you ever look at what they give you?”

James chose to ignore this.

I rolled my eyes. Thankfully, one of us has some sense. I checked the files on my computer chip. “He’s one of waiters.”

James rubbed her hands together. “Excellent. I was hoping we’d get to eat.”

While we waited for dinner to be served, James and I mingled with the other guests and made polite small talk. It wouldn’t do to appear unsure of ourselves or out of place, earlier incidents aside. I let James take the reins for a while, choosing to search various databases for information regarding the history of the planet, its rulers, and anything else I could find that might prove useful. Unsurprisingly, there wasn’t a speck of dirt to be found. Someone was keeping everything clean. No malpractices, no unjust punishments. I sighed inwardly. I hated field assignments. My suit was beginning to itch and I was starting to sweat. James looked at ease, chatting with some duke or duchess or whatever.

I breathed a sigh of relief when dinner was served. I hadn’t spoken much during the evening, and I was glad to finally have an excuse not to talk. I was seated next to a rather large man in a deep purple vest, while James was next to the smallest woman I had ever seen. On the table in increments were enormous flower arrangements, giant white petals sitting in the center with small violet buds on long green stems drooping over the pristine ivory tablecloth. Waiters in black tuxedos and lavender bow ties marched in carrying silver platters and bottles of champagne. I searched the faces, looking for a man fitting the description James had provided.

My attention was drawn away from the staff by one of the security officers rapping his knuckles on the table. The guests quieted and the officer straightened, clearing his throat.

“I’m terribly sorry to interrupt, but there is something I need to call to your attention,” he said.

James looked at me pointedly, trying to catch my attention. She opened her eyes wide and kept jerking her head minutely at someone out of my field of vision. I ignored her.

He went on. “It has come to my attention that there is enemy infiltration here tonight. I warn the infiltrators to turn themselves in immediately, my queen may show mercy.”

I schooled my face into a more neutral expression. Across the table, I saw the minister I had noticed earlier glaring around. His eyes landed on me and I swallowed, redirecting my attention to the security officer.’

“I also would like to assure our guests that no harm should befall them tonight. Thank you, that will be all,” he finished, returning to his station at the edge of the room.

James elbowed me.

“Ow! What?” I said, irritation coloring my voice.

“He’s here.” She discreetly pointed to a waiter standing behind the people a few seats down. He fit her description, and I had to agree, he was kinda hot.

The guy must have noticed me staring, because he looked over at us and gave a tiny nod. He and the other waiters began to set their trays in the long middle portion of the table. My mouth watered at the array of dishes in front of me. There was food from every planet I had ever visited, and some I hadn’t. I was afraid I’d abused my computer chip trying to search for the names and origins of all of it.

Dmitri made his was over to us filling champagne glasses. When he reached James, he picked up her glass and filled it, spilling some of the bubbly drink onto her napkin.

“Terribly sorry Madam, let me get you a new one,” he said, replacing the wet napkin with a dry, folded one.

James smiled at him, and when he had moved on, carefully placed the napkin in her lap, removing a slip of paper from within the folds of the fabric.

When people started to tuck into their food, James nudged me again. “Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes,” she whispered. Then she stood up and casually walked in the direction of the toilets, her heels clicking on the polished floor. I sighed, picking up my fork and helping myself to a tray of edible flowers cooked in cream. If I had to wait, may as well eat something.

When I reached the bathroom, James opened the door quickly and yanked me inside.

“What’s with all the violence? You have something to tell me?” I complained.

She rolled her eyes. “Dmitri has a sense of humor, apparently.”

I looked at her questioningly.

“He decided to hide a freaking file chip in this.” James pointed to a metal box mounted on the wall.

“A tampon dispenser?”

James looked unamused. “A tampon dispenser.”

I mean, not a lot of species need tampons, so it was a pretty clever idea to put the information somewhere where it would be rather unlikely for anyone to find. James, however, didn’t seem too impressed so I decided not to mention that.

I cleared my throat. “So did you―”

“Yes, I got it.” She held up a tiny piece of metal. “Let’s get out of here so I can plug this into your skull.”

“Why can’t you use one of the ships computers? You know I hate being a computer,” I whined.

“The ship’s computers won’t work with this. They’re too slow and it’ll take much too long to decrypt unless you do it,” she replied.

I sighed. “Fine.”

James opened the bathroom door slowly. She jumped slightly and stepped out quickly, tossing the chip in an underhand motion towards me as she went. I heard her speaking on the other side of the door, and then a deep voice responding. I mentally searched myself for somewhere to hide the chip, and then reached up and combed through my bright red hair. Finding the file port, I shoved the chip in and opened the bathroom door.

James was having what looked like a staring contest with a guard. When I opened the door, his eyes jumped to me, and he blinked.

James flung her arm over my shoulders. “We were just leaving, weren’t we, darling?”

I looked at her. “Uh-huh.”

The guard coughed awkwardly. “You two, you, uh, keep yourselves out of trouble.” He fled.

James laughed, removing her arm from around me. “Let’s go. We still have dessert.”

Dessert, although delicious, was almost unbearable. I was so nervous that someone would stand up, point at us, and shout ‘hey look it’s the spies from the IRC’. James was much more relaxed, easy for her, she didn’t have life-or-death information shoved into her noggin. I could barely eat, my hands were shaking so badly. Eventually I just gave up and rested them in my lap, waiting for it to be over. I became aware of an itching sensation where the chip was plugged in. I was afraid of that. My computer chip may be fast and powerful, but because it’s only the left side of my brain and can’t ever perfectly align with the right side, it overheats really easily. Especially in situations like this, when I’m stressed. When I sleep I turn it off, and that gives it more than enough cooldown time, but anxiety makes it heat up faster.

That presented a new problem. I could either turn the computer off, shutting down half of my brain (this would make me, for all intents and purposes, useless), or I could take my chances trying to fight through the pain. “This is why I don’t do stressful field work,” I muttered to myself. The chip would have to be unplugged if I chose the first option, and that introduced a host of other issues, so I would have to go with the latter. I shifted restlessly in my seat, trying to ignore the burning sensation that was slowly taking over the offending side of my head.

Five minutes later, five horrible minutes of agony, of trying to force myself not to give away how much pain I was in, the gala was over. Guests were leaving slowly, saying their goodbyes. James, who had probably noticed my constipated expression and figured out what was happening, hauled me out of my seat by the arm and dragged me off to the landing dock.

In retrospect, it would have been a lot easier to take the chip out considering the attention we were drawing anyway. I remember vaguely registering the image of the dock, the ship waiting for us, and trying to keep myself from swaying into James. We stopped. Why had we stopped walking?

“...thorough search.”

“I’m sorry, my husband needs to lie down.”

That was James speaking. There was a guard blocking our way. I blinked, trying to clear my vision. I was leaning heavily into James, and one of my arms was over her shoulders. I didn’t recall it being put there.

Another voice, this one from behind me, spoke up. “You must be searched before you can leave, Madam.”

James sighed. “Stand up on your own for a few minutes,” she whispered. And then she dropped me.

I stumbled backward, almost falling off the landing dock. James had punched the guard behind us, knocking him off the dock. I think he must have fallen onto another level beneath us, but it probably wasn’t too far because I could hear him shouting for more guards. The other guard charged at James, and she ducked out of the way, pulling her blaster pistol from a holster underneath her dress. She aimed a shot at the guard’s leg, temporarily disabling her. The woman unsheathed her own blaster and aimed a shot at me. Through some miracle, I managed to duck, only to trip on one of the shoes James had discarded when she hit the first guard. It was just as well, he had managed to draw out a few others and they fired round after round of blasts, barely missing the top of my head.

James shot the guard again, this time in the arm and the guard’s blaster clattered to the floor. She hauled me up and out of the line of fire, and my burning head spun. The ship’s crew had started the engines and the ship was humming, ready to take off immediately. The main door opened slowly as James and I made our way to it. The security on the the level below us aimed their guns at the ship, but barely made a dent in the metal (our D18s might not have guns, but they more than make up for that with defense). Reaching the ship, James shoved me through the door and collapsed beside me, exhausted. I felt the ship leave the port, and heard the clank of the door shutting. I reached up and pulled the file chip out of my skull and put in James’ hand. Then I crawled onto a seat, buckled myself in, and shut my brain off.

When I woke up the was floating through Cross-12’s docking bay. James was conked out next to me. When we landed, I gently shook her awake.

“James. James, wake up.”

She blinked slowly, and then reached into her pocket to retrieve the chip, handing it to me. I turned it over in my hands, scrutinizing it for damage. The doors to the ship opened behind me and James stood, stretching her arms above her head.

“Let’s get to the debrief. I’d like to see what sort of intel Dmitri has,” she said, hopping out of the door.

Later, James and I were back in our uniforms and seated at the table in one of the meeting rooms. I jiggled my knee nervously and played with the cuff of my uniform until James pulled my hands apart. I hated debriefings, especially when the mission hadn’t gone according to plan. We weren’t supposed to injure people, and we certainly weren’t supposed to make as much of a mess as we did. The captain of Cross-12 stood in front of the blank screen at one end of the room, addressing the mission team. Our squadron commander stood behind her.

“I can’t say I’m terribly impressed with this,” she professed. “We no longer have the element of surprise. The information on this chip will tell us the location of the places where the drugs are manufactured, but we’ll have to delay our attack. The Anthan may not know what we’re there for, but they’ll be on high alert anyway.”

My heart sank. I knew we’d given ourselves away, but to have it said in front of everyone made it ten times worse. I felt my face heat up and James put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“That being said, we are lucky to have our agents come back to us with themselves and the intel intact,” Captain Gramm continued. “I’m sorry that this has been short, but we have a lot to take care of to prepare for the coming attack. Thank you, and good evening.”

On the way back to our quarters, I couldn’t shake one question from my mind. “How do you think they knew we were there?”

James frowned. “I have no idea. We weren’t exactly smooth in the beginning, though.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I just, I don’t know. I guess I wish I knew what we did wrong.”

“For all we know it might not have been something we did. Someone there could have recognized one of us and tipped off the guards.”

“Well I know one thing for sure,” I said.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“I am for sure not getting any more infiltration assignments ever again.”

James hummed. “It’s not for everyone, but I think you held your own.”

“Maybe. It still could have gone better, though.”

“Go to bed, Florence.”

-T.R.R. Carroll

#science fiction #space #spaceship #adventures #james #florence #espionage #story #blog #project x #science #mission #topsecret

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yuniesan · 6 years

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Girl Meets Season 6 - Episode Eleven – Girl Meets Fear for the Future

Synopsis: The Journey from High School and into College will test everything Riley knew about her life, her friendships and her love. What life lessons will she learn in her first year of college?

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

A/N: IT’S ALIVE!!!!!!!

A/N: Sorry for not writing, a lot of things happened, including me getting a little depressed about not having any job prospects after graduating, someone I know was diagnosed with cancer, my mother is having surgery, and a million other things including writer's block and insomnia. Have you ever been so stressed out that no matter what you tried it felt like everything was going wrong? Well that was me for the last month. But I thought about it all and figured that, life will go on, and I just have to keep going with it.

So, part of this chapter is catharsis, the other is me filling in the gaps for you guys on the other couples, the majority of this is based on my own friendship with my best friend, who I love with all of my heart, and while we went to college together, I was involved in a million things and she pulled away. I usually send her messages through instagram/facebook messenger/text... etc... etc... Because friends who have known each other forever, can grow apart and find their way back to one another at the same time.

Episode Eleven – Girl Meets Fear for the Future

There was a moment, just weeks before the end of the semester, where Maya had realized that she hadn’t seen Riley in weeks. She tried to think back to the last time she had seen her best friend and the only image that popped up was from some party that had felt like an eternity away. She was sitting in her dorm room putting the final touches on a piece of art that she had to hand in for the final in her drawing class. Smackle was at her desk typing away on her laptop, mumbling to herself every once and while about something that Maya would never understand. She knew better than to interrupt the genius while looking at some math thing that only Farkle would understand.

Maya and Smackle had become good friends over the last few months, they drove into the city together with Farkle all of the time. Maya usually went to see Josh, but the four of them had somehow found themselves doing double dates in the most unusual places. Smackle wanted to learn about normal non-genius couples, but Maya had learned that it also had to do with the fact that Smackle had wanted to have some fun without all of the work. It was rare for Smackle to do non-Smackle things, so with Maya planning everything the genius got the chance to try new things.

They did these things twice a month, just the four of them, and it had become normal for her to be in the city with her parents and Josh on weekends. But now that she thought back to the last few months the one thing she had always sworn that she wouldn’t do, happened without her even trying. She had been busy, college was a lot harder for her than she had expected, but she loved her classes and tried her best in them. She was the first in her family to go to college in the first place and it had made her mother so happy that Maya hadn’t wanted to disappoint her. But Riley was also family to her and she had barely seen the brunette in weeks.

“Hey Smackle,” Maya called out to the genius. “When was the last time we all hung out together, all six of us?”

Smackle didn’t answer her, still mumbling the problem to herself, Maya wanted to ask again but instead picked up her phone and walked out into the hallway. Everyone was studying or writing papers, since the end of the semester was near so she walked into the stairwell and closed the door, quickly dialing Josh. When he didn’t pick up she sighed and left him a quick message so that he would call her back.

She sat there for another fifteen minutes wondering about what her best friend had been doing the last few weeks, and how they had both let their friendship slip. She was lost in her thoughts when someone sat down next to her pushing her slightly with their shoulder. Turning to glare at the person intruding on her thoughts, she was greeted with a warm smile of her other childhood best friend.

“Hey there,” she said smiling at Farkle. “What brings you over here this time of day?”

“Smackle sent me a message, she said you needed someone to talk to,” he said with a smile. Maya hadn’t thought that Smackle had been listening at all, but the girl had ended up calling for reinforcements. “She would help you but our professor posted an impossible problem the other day, he swore no one could figure it out, so she’s been working on it trying to prove him wrong.”

“And why aren’t you working on it?”

“I’ll have my chance, I wasn’t interested in the problem right now,” Farkle gave her a small smile. “Plus, I want Smackle to shine.”

“You’ve got a soft spot for her if you’re giving something like this up.”

“Well she has my heart, all that matters is that we’re both happy” he smiled. “Now what’s bothering you that had Smackle worried enough to call me over here.”

Maya sighed and stared at the wall in front of them, “Farkle when was the last time we talked to Riley, or hung out with Lucas and Zay?”

Farkle gave her a small smile, it must have been something that had been weighing on his mind lately, “It’s been a while,” he said as he looked down at his hands.

“Do you think Riley’s noticed?” she asked wondering why her best friend hadn’t thought to check in with them. “I mean it’s weird right?”

“Well we all have different schedules, at this point different lives,” he said before looking up at her. “You and me, we hang out more now than we used to, I’m grateful for that because you’ve helped Smackle come out of her shell just a little more, she’s trying so many things because of that.”

“But it’s not the same,” she finished before he could say the worlds. “It feels like a phantom pain, we should have known it was missing but it feels like she’s still there.”

The two of them didn’t say another word, only sitting there in silence as the light outside faded into darkness. They both had things to do, but for some reason they weren’t rushing to go do them. Someone had been walking up the stairs when they had finally realized that they had been sitting there in silence for almost an hour. Maya was surprised to see Josh standing at the bottom of the staircase looking at the two gloomy friends.

“I figured I’d visit this weekend,” Josh said smiling at her, and she knew he was trying to cheer her up. “I listened to your voicemail, and figured that you needed some comfort.”

Josh sat in front of her, his back against the railing, as he took her hand in his and held it towards his heart. Maya’s mind was at war with itself, she couldn’t figure out if she was happy or sad, there were too many things going on and no answers. No Riley to pull her back from the darkest parts of her heart.

“What’s wrong,” Josh asked them when neither had said a word.

“We just realized that we haven’t seen Riley in a while,” Farkle answered for the both of them. “I guess we just miss her.”

“You’re afraid that you’re losing her,” Josh said a sad smile on his face. “I’m pretty sure that’s not the case considering she sends me weekly emails, I’m pretty sure she sends them to you too.”

“What emails?” Maya’s head shot up at her boyfriend’s words. “Riley knows I don’t check my emails, most of the time they get lost in a sea of spam and I just leave it alone.”

“Maya, you probably have a million emails from her, just search for her name and they should pop up,” he said smiling at her. Josh somehow always tried to make things a little better whenever she unsure of something.

“Have you check your emails,” she asked Farkle who shrugged.

“I don’t remember getting anything from Riley, but I think I’ve only used my school email because of all of the assignments we’ve had, so I should check them shouldn’t I,” he said before running his hand through his hair. “I’ve been a little busy.”

“Yeah I know, you’re trying to save the world, how about you start with Smackle and get her away from what she’s doing since she’s been mumbling to herself for a while now,” Maya said as her heart felt lighter for a moment. Then she realized that if Riley had been emailing her and she hadn’t replied then she had been the horrible friend.

“Don’t think that,” Josh said as if he had read her mind. “Farkle go check on your girlfriend, I’m going to talk to Maya for a while.”

“Will do,” Farkle said with a smile. “Don’t worry Maya, Riley will be there for us even if we’ve been too preoccupied.”

She nodded but it didn’t stop the feeling of dread in her stomach. “See you later,” she said trying to sound happy as he walked off.

“Seriously,” Josh said once Farkle was gone. “Don’t think too much about it, Riley knows you’re busy, she tells me all of the time,” Maya watched as he pulled out his phone, and opened the email app. “I know Maya gets too obsessed with her art projects, just make sure she has a little fun this weekend… She sometimes forgets things when she’s in her art haze, she’s going to be a famous artist, but she needs to remember the outside world,” he said smiling at her.

“I didn’t know I went through things like that,” she said feeling herself blush, it felt so out of character for her to even do that.

“She always sends me stuff like that, let me see,” he said as he opened another email. “She likes ring dings the most, so if you take her on that picnic make sure you pack some.”

“That’s true,” Maya said with a smile.

“Her favorite color isn’t red, no matter how much she tries to tell you otherwise, her favorite color is yellow, so get her the yellow dress.”

“Really Riley,” Maya said before burying her head in her hands. “How many more of these little tidbits does she have?”

“I have them all saved, because while I know you extremely well, I’m not Riley and she pays way more attention than most people.”

“She’s my best friend, I feel horrible for not seeing these, or even calling her.”

“Maya will try and tell you that she feels bad about doing something, but it’s not her fault, we’ve been busy and I realized that I can’t always take care of her, but she has you now, so I know she’s in good hands.”

Maya felt the tears fall down her face, Riley knew her better than anyone, she always knew what to say and it filled her heart with joy.

“She’s afraid of what the future will bring, but I will always be there for her,” Josh continued as Maya cried next to him. “She needs this time to grow, and when she’s ready she’ll come looking for me,” he finished as he pulled her into his arms. “She cares, kind of reminds me of my mom with how she knows everything.”

“Did she only write that about me?”

“No, she actually wrote things about my brother, and her mom, and Auggie, somethings about Ava too, she cares about everyone in her own way. I actually got an email one day that was twelve pages long. I think everyone else emails her back except for you, Smackle and Farkle, but she will always tell me things about all three of you for weekends we hang out together.”

“Maybe we can all get together after the last final,” she said smiling at him, the one person who had somehow filled her heart with happiness, while at the same time making sure to remind her that her best friend will always be there.

“I think that would be a good idea, but I also thing that you should read all of the emails she sent you before then, send her one too telling her everything that had happened in the last few months.”

“Art haze,” she said to herself for a moment. Thinking back, she remembered there being several projects that she had been working on. One of which had been a present for Riley’s birthday which was the same day as the end of the semester. “Who knew that there was such a thing?”

“Well you do get this glassy eyed look whenever you think up a new project,” he said smiling. “I like watching you draw, it’s like watching something amazing as it happens, I can’t describe it, but Riley is right about one thing, you’re going to do great things in the future.”

“I just can’t fear it,” she said smiling at him. “There’s something scary about being afraid for the future, even when there’s so many possibilities about there.”

“The best thing you can do is believe in yourself and you’ll get over that fear,” he said to her before standing up, pulling her up with him. “You’ll always be afraid of something, but as long as there are people around to help you, you’re always going to come out on top.”

He kissed her the moment he finished talking, running his hands through her tangled hair, it felt warm and sweet, and perfect in that moment. “Thank you,” she murmured when they separated.

“Well you’ve been helping me so much this semester, I figured I owed you a few helping moments.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she smiled at him, she knew this was the person who she would be with for all of her life, and it was weird to know something like that when she was just eighteen. “Come on let’s go save the geniuses.”

“What do you mean save them?” he asked as she pulled him along. Just as they reached her hallway, she hard Smackle scream out at Farkle before a pillow was thrown out of the room.

“Smackle, please you need to get some sleep,” Farkle said as Maya and Josh reached the door. “You will get the answer after a few hours, I promise.”

“No,” Smackle screamed out, Maya rushed over and started rubbing Smackle’s head, remembering how Mrs. Matthews had been during freshman year of high school. After a few minutes, Smackle had started mumbling to herself, and just as Maya passed her over to Farkle, the other girl had all but passed out in her boyfriend’s arms.

“See saving,” Maya said with a smile as she settled in her own bed with Josh next to her, pulling out two pairs of headphones so that they could watch a movie as the geniuses slept in the other bed.

#girl meets world #girl meets season 6 #maya hart #josh matthews #farkle minkus #isadora smackle #smarkle #joshaya #riley matthews #Riley's words

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