#but again for my own sanity i need to give myself more time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr was created by web developers David Karp and Marco Arment.

#but again for my own sanity i need to give myself more time

dreadnotau · 2 years

Text

This is a really difficult announcement to make for me. TL;DR, the process for making the comic has become a lot more complicated due to some changes in my style, and therefore the uploads will have to be set for every other week, rather than every week. Trust me, saying that hurts me a lot more than it hurts you.

Dread Not is, not just the largest project I’ve ever worked on, but also the most consistent. The goal to upload every week was set specifically to keep me motivated and give me just enough room to make something worthwhile. I’ve never regularly released content before, so it was kind of a huge deal for me, even though I never liked the deadline because I felt I wasn’t uploading ENOUGH. The comic is, for all intents and purposes, meant to be read all at once, or over the course of a few days, and short of not releasing anything for years on end and uploading around 100 pages at once, there’s no way to upload it in the same way it was meant to be consumed.

So, for a while, one week was enough to finish an entire page and upload it in a timely manner, or with minor issue (like staying up late to finish the page on the day it’s being uploaded, effectively forcing myself to crunch instead of just releasing it on Sunday instead). The trouble is, though, the pages are getting more and more complicated, and my style and workflow are becoming a lot more time consuming, which is technically a good thing. The quality of the early pages and the newer pages is a stark contrast, and if I want to keep improving my skills, I need to give myself a bit of wiggle room (especially keeping in mind I start college this September, and it’s all gonna be chaos from there). This is half the reason why I decided to upload pages every other week.

The other half is that I miss when this used to be fun for me. If you would allow me a bit of melodrama for a moment, I miss when Dread Not was a passion project that brought me joy, not stress. Nowadays, I find myself thinking about doing literally ANYTHING but work on the comic, but I always force myself to work on it anyway, dwelling on how little time I have until the upload day. I’ve shelfed videos, fics, drawing ideas, and my social life, trying to pour as much into this comic as possible and, honestly, the payoff isn’t worth the price. I have a lot of things I want to do, I have a lot of ideas I want to share, and not all of them are in Dread Not.

What’s especially heartbreaking to me about all this is that I’m forced to make this announcement in the middle of the Fusion’s introductory pages, because these are the pages I was THE most excited for, yet whenever I work on them I feel my soul slowly leaving my body. The Fusion is, unironically, the origin of this comic. A dumb idea I had to mesh my two favourite characters together, which I ended up making a whole world around. I workshopped the story, the idea reached Meowchela, and the rest is history. This dumbass, cat-looking-ass, shambling man stumbling around in the woods is what I have been THE most excited for and now that it’s time to actually show him off, I find myself demotivated, stressed, and depressed. I shot for the moon and crash landed so hard my skull split in half.

Alright, melodrama over.

For future acts of Dread Not, I’ll try to structure my time and work a little more effectively. I’m writing out all the dialogue for act 2, and will hopefully be able to release it in a healthier way, maybe a few pages at a time with bigger breaks of time in between, but we’ll have to see. It’s all up in the air and heavily depends on what my workflow for college will look like.

Again, it pains me to have to switch to this kind of upload schedule. I keep having to remind myself that it’s actually Not Normal for a fully coloured comic to be made by one person and released as weekly updates. Maybe one day I’ll be able to make quality pages in short bursts of time, but that day is not today. Or any time soon for that matter. I feel half dead writing this and it’s literally just the announcement post.

There are exactly 26 pages to go until the end of act 1. That’s around 52 weeks, an entire year. I unspeakably hate that the comic has to be released this slowly, but it’s for my own good. To say I’ve bitten off more than I could chew would be an understatement. I’m trying to swallow the entire Eifel tower whole here.

I hope you all stick around until the end, and I hope it’ll all be worth it. Thank you for being invested in the first place.

#dreadnot #dread not #dread not au #dreadnotau #not comic #schedule update #posting this on saturday is just compounding how dead inside i feel about all this #i am genuinely thankful for the support the comic has recieved and i will keep working my hardest to make something worthwhile #but again for my own sanity i need to give myself more time #a fully coloured comic page on an a4 format is a lot harder to make when youre not just doing the bare minimum #that is shade at no one but my past self who was too fucking lazy to find a good way to shade the fucking pages #kooki is fucking dying hours

19 notes · View notes

pininghermit · 6 months

Text

Just Talk to Me Already!

Genre: a sulking Adrian and struggling reader

Summary: All it took was a friends night out, 2 shots of vodka, and fake courage of your friends with your inflated drunk ego.

You woke up with empty arms and a spectacular view of Adrian's back – spectacular but tense. As if he hadn't just pushed himself away from your embrace the moment he felt your dream fading. But you are shameless. Unfazed by his earlier retreat, your arms circled his waist again as you drew closer. However, your attempt to settle comfortably as the big spoon was thwarted as your hands were gently pushed away, and your beloved extricated himself from the bed.

Sighing, you returned to your overheated pillow, its once-cool sides now exhausted. "Well, if this isn't the consequence of your stupid loud mouth," you groaned into your pillow.

It all began with a fateful night out with friends, two shots of vodka, and your inflated, drunken ego. Spilling the steamy details of your past steamy escapades with your ex to Adrian wasn't planned, but it happened, thanks to drunk you. A week had passed since that unfortunate incident, and Adrian was still sulking.

Normally, Adrian was impervious to your drunken antics, but this was different. It had hit a nerve, making him insecure about his own abilities and your genuine affection for him.

As the memories from that intoxicated night resurfaced amid the fog of a confusing hangover, you realized the extent of the damage. Of course, you'd apologized; you might be a wild drunk, but you were a civil person. You even tried to be cute, using the coy voice Adrian adored, but it didn't work.

Undeterred, you bought flowers, sweets, and, just for the heck of it, a dagger because your beloved had a penchant for such things. However, your care package failed to elicit even a faint smile. Instead, you found the dagger stabbed into the garden floor, a display of strength you chose to ignore for your own sanity.

Turning to a more romantic approach, you wrote a poetic letter. Adrian, known for his dramatic flair, should have appreciated it, right? Wrong. Your beautifully scripted words were obscured by grocery lists, budget planning, and reminders of yearly events...he could have used the plain blank side and no you did not pout looking at it.

Not to mention, he wouldn't even share dinner with you or rescue you from the culinary monstrosity you'd created. The desire for a simple meal prepared by Adrian had never been stronger.

In desperation you resorted to your trusted technique of annoyance. "Adrian look at me," you settled next to him, scooting whenever he tried to scoot. "Adrian look at my crooked tooth, does my finger look bent to you," you followed after him the entire day like a puppy.

Until Adrian became a damn bat and flew. Even the puppy eyes failed you.

It was only last night that he tried to slip out of your room, but you caught his wrist, stopping him. "Don't go," you said seriously. "Just sleep here. Give me a chance to make it right. So come here and lie next to me, Adrian. We can't act like a divorced couple; we aren't married, to begin with."

You pulled him back onto the bed, and he, despite his strength, let you. Wrapping your arms around him, you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, ignoring the fact that his hair almost made you sneeze during this supposedly romantic moment.

"I won't say I was wrong," your words made him tense under your touch. "I've had my fill of fooling around, of being an untethered kite. It's great, but Adrian," you pulled him closer, preventing him from seeing your blush. "I don't need that with you. I don't need wild fantasies or extreme pleasures, though I can't get enough of you. Just being in the same room as you is more than satisfying."

Your hands traced patterns on his back as you thought through your words, articulating your feelings for the first time in your life. "Don't blame yourself for anything, Adrian. Don't carry that burden. I could never forgive myself if I became the reason for your sorrow. I will gladly be the crux of your resentment. Just stay by my side and let me make it up…" You spoke throughout the night until your words began to slur, and you woke up to the sight of Adrian's back.

At least he was still in the bed, which you counted as a small victory. You planned your next grand gesture to win him over, but little did you know that your antics were making a certain dhampir, you resisted to face you, smile uncontrollably.

As he heard you groan into your pillow, he promised himself to savor these moments just a bit longer, practicing his poker face in anticipation of the day filled with your endearing gestures.

#alucard #castlevania #alucard x reader #adrian tepes x reader #fluff

150 notes · View notes

sugarpasteltmnt · 2 months

Note

i am currently catching up on neon void, and it is a delight to read. your descriptions of leo’s mind is mesmerizing and grabs the reader’s attention so well. it’s very diverse and unique compared to other interpretations and fics♥️

i’m curious to know what your thinking process was like while writing leo’s insanity and his own thought processes.

(spoilers for ch11) the scene that stuck out to me the most was when leo was about to infect donnie. it felt so vulnerable and raw ahh

anyways i just want to dig into your mind a little to know how it works.

keep up the great work, you are doing wonderful.

WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭😭😭 you are so sweet thank you!! 💙💗‼️and ohmigosh what a fun ask.

tbh i sat on this one for a while to think of how to dive into it-- beware of my (VERY) long ramblings below!

this question really got me Thinkin' and i kinda popped off but!! If i may indulge myself, here's sort of a wild explanation of how i approach Leo's Insane Brain for this specific fic:

does it meet R.I.S.E???

R - Realistic? I - Interesting? S - Silly? E - Existential?

R - Realistic

"How the hell do i make this sound realistic" is often an obstacle i run into. but it's also the Secret Sauce. What really gives the thought process direction. Given Leo's current situation, he's battling between what he wants and what he needs to do. Which is often a very real problem real people have. Exaggerating it helps create a fun back-and-forth dialog that can make his thoughts seem muddled.

With Leo in this fic’s setup, there are about five main key factors i rely on with his decision making:

Happiness The root of Leo’s general personification. He’s the guy who beat Krang One. The one who escaped a place worse than Hell. After years of missing home so much he’s FINALLY home. He’s drunk on happiness. He was finally home. And that relief and joy is what makes him so jubilant and goofy.

Awareness of his goal Though Rise Leo is a very funny dude, he's still a Leonardo. Throughout the series, Leo is the voice of reason when things are getting out of hand or are potentially dangerous. Leo's had nothing but time to think. Wishing what he'd done different. Wishing he had been more serious. After five years obsessing over his mistake and missing his family, the moment he see's the opportunity to make sure this never happens again he'll latch onto it. And when the stakes are high, accentuating that tension can help with frantic impact of his thinking.

His desire to see his family This desire often clashes with point number 2. Writing his internal struggle between the two helps with the “overwhelmed thoughts” vibe. It’s hard for him to choose! And he doesn’t wanna have to choose! Playing out the conflict between his 'want' vs his 'need to do' helps me bring out his nervous thinking process.

He's self-reprimanding thoughts We all love an Angsty Leo. It was hinted in the show that he had some self-esteem issues, but who doesn't love ramping it up to 11 for a fic??? That, and he was trapped with Krang this whole time. After hearing he was nothing but trash for five years PLUS the guilt of nearly ending the world, the guy doesn't exactly see himself in a great light you know? This can help clash with point 1, again helping with that 'what he wants' vs 'what he needs to do' inner conflict.

Instinct to Survive / Feral Tendencies This one is super fun. I love feral AUs/tropes. With little to no socialization in the Prison Dimension, Leo's sanity started to slip, leaving his body's natural instincts to become more profound. Plus, with the Krang Parasite, I like to exaggerate how feral/dangerous he could be outside of 'turtle' instincts. (Seeing that parasite hosts in the movie were very violent). Sprinkling in feral moments is just a delicious thrill I love adding, and it makes the insanity factor skyrocket and it's so fun to write 🩵🩵🩵

I - Interesting

Is Leo's thought process interesting to read??? Honestly, I just gun for what I think is the most interesting; Leo's relationship with his brothers (especially Raph), and the cause and effects of his shenanigans.

Also, I liked to experiment with wonky texts to help emphasize key moments or words to grab attention. Mostly because it feels like a fun surprise to read them in my opinion. Though not necessary in writing, I thought using some funky fonts might entice and excite 💙

S- Silly

THE BIG ONE!!! EVERYONE'S FAVORITE!!! 🎉🎊🥳🎉 Something I really love love love about Rise's style is that it's silly It's unique! It's fun! I love that Leo and the others are goofy and have some slap-stick moments. And I wanted to keep that with Leo despite everything. Plus, I ADORE that in this iteration of TMNT, the characters are such showmen. They are DRAMATIC. They are SILLY. And that's something I wanna celebrate!! Plus, as much as I love angst, writing nothing but pure angst is exhausting. (And I'm sure reading pure angst isn't enjoyably to everyone.) Throwing in Silly moments is like a little moment of refreshment to me 🩵

I also like to believe that Leo kept his sense of humor out of sheer SPITE. The 'wipe that stupid grin off your face' line in the movie really stuck with me. I feel like Leo would smile through his fear and still be a clown just to spite Krang One.

E - Existential

At the end of the day, Leo is dealing with a VERY big issue. I felt like the Rise movie did an excellent job portraying the severity of an alien invasion for the setting Rise had. And the weight of the situation would be too great for one person. And this is often what I refer back to to make Leo snap. A relapse in clarity of mind. A moment for the panic and PTSD to come back in full force and make him rely on his instincts. Usually the feral instincts he became more attuned with while fleeing/fighting Krang One. It also goes hand-in-hand with his awareness of his goal (as mentioned in 'Realistic' above).

And that's kinda a word-vomit of how it goes!! Honestly??? The tug-o-war between conflicting thoughts helps me write the madness in his head. It's been super fun and interesting, and I hope it's been fun to read!!! (Though I'm telling you now I will NOT be doing those floating text tables again OOF)

Thank you again for the ask it was super fun to think about ;w; 🩵‼️

#thank u for coming to my Ted Talk #long post #sorry i kinda Went Off (affectionate) on this lmao #does this make sense??? only Pizza Supreme knows 😔#pastel prattling

74 notes · View notes

satureja13 · 5 months

Text

Vlad and Jack arrived at the temple to seek relief for Jack's pain. They greeted Arturo, the servant at this Temple, Chán's partner. Jack thought it would be honest to tell Arturo in advance that they don't have much money before he makes any effort to help him. But Arturo reassured him. This Temple helps anyone in need.

Arturo: "You know, our diety once was a temple servant too. He put his duty for his diety and his studies for the temple over everything. Even over his loved one. As a result, he lost his love. His diety was furious and banned him. So he sat under this tree here to reflect and eventually became one with the tree. This reminds us that we are here to serve the people and our loved ones before anything else."

Arturo: "The tree cares for us. We pot his saplings and sell them. They have the tree's healing powers too. The income just from the saplings is enough to run the temple. So don't worry about money, hm?" Jack: "I see. Thank you. This place is really amazing." Arturo: "It is. I consider myself very lucky to be allowed to serve here. The tree is picky ^^' He allows not just anybody around him and touch his precious saplings and soil."

Arturo took them inside to see what he can do for Jack. And Jack told him about his searing pain after he left his fated mate. Arturo: "Oh I never met someone who left his fated mate. It's a wonder you are still alive! How did it happen?" Jack: "He kept claiming that we were fated mates but I never felt it. I ... had a very difficult past and I'm... damaged, you know? He had his obligations, urged me to keep our relationship a secret, was barely there - all this stacked and drove me just deeper into my madness. It was too much for me to keep going. My life and sanity - or our love. I chose life. I guess fate makes mistakes sometimes too. If I only were 'normal' - I could have endured it and..." Vlad: "No Jack. No one should have to 'endure' anything when it comes to love. That's also the reason why I want to cut the bond. I love Ji Ho too much to let him 'endure' me and the Bond." Arturo: "But Jack, you just gave you the answer yourself!" Jack: "What do you mean?"

Arturo: "Follow me." They offered fruit and incense at the shrine in silence.

Arturo. "You are damaged and your fated mated couldn't protect you and even caused you more pain. So you protected yourself - from him and your love for him. Subconsciously. That's why you couldn't feel it. As you said. Going on with him and deepen your relationship - giving in being fated mates - would only have caused you more and more pain. So your subconscious stopped you from feeling it. You have to heal first." Jack: "How can I heal?" Arturo: "It takes time and treatment. Like healing any other wound. The pain in your soul and heart already reached your body. It was about time you came here. The tree can ease your pain and pave a path for you. But you'll have to walk it yourself." Jack: "I will." Arturo: "Let's go then!"

Arturo: "Meditaion is important on your way to healing. You need a certain state of mindfulness and awareness to listen to and care for the needs of your soul and your heart. Come join us, Vlad!"

When Arturo took Jack to the massage, Vlad didn't join them ^^' Arturo: "I will be very careful to not touch your rash. But your body needs this to relax. To be able to deal with the pain. You'll feel so much better this evening, you'll see." Jack: "I really hope so..." Arturo: "And when it's getting worse again, don't hesitate to come back, hear me? I'm here to help." Jack: "Ok ^^' "

Vlad went over to the kitchen to prepare a meal for them. That's the least he can do for Arturo for helping Jack.

To be continued... (If you have an idea about the tree, you might be right ö.Ö' But please do not spoil ;) This was a very mindblowing episode for me. I never knew why Jack never felt 'the fated mates thing' until this night! And what Arturo said is also very important for my own healing. Thank you, Arturo!

From the Beginning ~ Underwater Love ~ Latest 🛺 'Home crappy Home' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: 🌴 'The Expedition' from the beginning ▶️ here 🎤 'Putting the Boys Back together' from the beginning ▶️ here 🥀 'Disbandment of the Group' from the beginning ▶️ here

#home crappy home #sims 4 story #simlit #sims 4 #ts4 story #ts4 #simblr #vladimir tepesz #healing jack #jack callahan #tomarang #underwater love #sims 4 vanilla #the sims 4 for rent #sims 4 for rent #for rent #the temple in tomarang #arturo linh #koh sahpa

45 notes · View notes

1001scoganmusings · 7 months

Text

Sacraficial heart

A/N: Kicking off kinktober on the lords day with the most elusive and coveted kink of them all, a loving and healthy relationship where both people are simps for each other.

P.S, Trying out a black hat POV. Idk what do you think?

Demons don’t go to heaven.

That is the law. Not that I ever cared. Never being one to take orders from a capricious and uncaring lesser being. Though perhaps the angels were on to something with the whole giving up power and control bit. And while I know I’ll never enter the pearlescent gates and be welcomed in to eternal paradise by a chorus of angels; if that was even how those things go. It was in these moments alone with my beloved that I could swear I was already there.

Pleasure steadily mounting higher and higher, engulfing me like a blazing inferno, searing my very flesh, and imprinting itself on to me both body and soul.

Too much. It was too much. And yet, not enough.

My legs held wide open and bent back, knees touching my chest as Flug drove his cock in to my slit hard and fast. “Black hat.” moaned flug, his fingers digging into the soft tender flesh of my thighs. His eyes half lidded and darkened with desire. Sensual and soft lips parted releasing some of the most filthy and erotic noises that would make even the most devious of sinners blush.

Why had I denied himself this for so long? Why did I ever fight his love? It was inconceivable. How could I have ever not wanted this? How foolish. How down right criminal and selfish l had been. To think I might’ve gone my whole immortal life without ever really knowing, truly knowing what it was to be baptized and reborn. To be made wholly by the love of another. No not another. By flug. God’s most perfect creation.

I lifted my head, groaning as I looked down at the place where we were joined. Watching as Flug’s cock, shiny and wet with my love juices, plunged in to me, disappearing over and over again in to my slit with wet squelching noises; completely drenching the dark brown patch of curls at the base of his cock. My own cock slapping against my stomach with a wet smack, pre dribbling out from the weeping head, forming a small puddle that was slowly spilling on to my stomach an up towards my chest with every thrust. What a mess we were making.

“So tight.” whined Flug pushing his damp sweaty hair out of his eyes. “Fuck, you feel so good.” He babbled nonsensically. “Never. Never wanna stop fucking you. So perfect. Mine. Your all mine. Your. all. fucking. mine.” He groaned. I grit my teeth, my toes curling as he punctuated each word with a deliciously deep thrust.

The possessiveness in Flug’s voice was quickly unraveling my sanity even more than before.

“Yours, all yours, only yours.” I moaned softly. “No one else could ever do. Never. It is you and you alone who has my heart.” His gaze turning soft and adoring as he looked down upon me.

Releasing my death grip on the sheets to reach up with shaky hands, wrapping my arms around Flug’s neck, and pulling him down, needing to feel him still ever so closer.

Lips so soft and warm pressed themselves against my own. Flug’s tongue probing the seam of my lips gently asking for entrance. As if I would deny this man anything at this point. Flug only but needed to ask and I would happily rip out my own beating heart and serve it on a silver platter like the love sick fool that I had become.

The kiss was sloppy and messy, all teeth and tongue, but I didn’t care, couldn’t be bothered to. The warm wet glide of our tongues against one another was making me dizzy with need.

Only for Flug and Flug alone would I allow this. Allow myself to be held. Treated for the first time in my entire life as something fragile. Something to be cherished and, dear god dare I say it? Something, worthy of love.

A lump formed in my throat at the thought. How long had I endured alone? All these millennia roaming the world with a protective wall around his heart. Convincing myself all the while that love was nothing more than a wretched and foul thing meant to control and prey upon weak willed and mindless creatures.

How truly delusional and demented demons are. Using any and all excuse to cope with the ache of loneliness lest it drive us mad. It would’ve made him laugh if it wasn’t so pathetic and simultaneously true.

To think this man, this brilliant and wondrous divine creature above him had chosen him. Chosen Him; to bestow his love upon. To spend what precious little time he’d been given, with him. With him.

His. Flug was his.

Mine.

All mine.

Black hat broke the kiss, lips still pressed against Flug’s and whispered, “I love you.”

“Again. Say it again.” demanded Flug.

“I—I love you.” stammered black, silently cursed Flug for making me stumble over my words like an idiot with those loving eyes of his.

“Again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you you damned dolt. How many time must I repeat—“

Flug slotted his mouth against my own, delving his tongue in to my mouth and kissing me fiercely once more as he sped up his movements. Dear god it felt as if this man was going to break me. I secretly hope he does. He’s already ruined my heart and soul. What more would it mean if he ruined my body so that no other could bring me to the heights of ecstasy as he could.

My hands threading themselves in Flug’s hair pulling him ever so closer, deepening the kiss. My heart doing somersaults in my chest as our tongues met again.

“Cum jefecito. Cum on my cock, now.” Slurred flug as he kissed me deeply, snaking a hand down between us to stroke my cock in time with his thrusts.

The double sensation being too much, driving me over the brink. My body going taught and ridged as my orgasm crashed over me like a tidal wave. I broke the kiss as a loud terrible inhuman cry left my throat. Thick ropes of cum one after the other shot all over Flug’s hand and stomach. “So cute, so cute. God I love you. I love you, Iove you, I love you.” He chanted, chasing his own release, a few more thrusts before he jilted himself. His warm cum making me shiver as he filled me.

Sleek black tentacles with tiny mouths sprouted from black hat’s body. They slithered down Flug’s legs and arms, and up over his back caressing and showering any pieces of skin their mouths could reach with kisses of adoration. Some sucking marks and leaving bites of their own.

“Your so cute boss.” panted flug, gazing down at him with nothing short of pure love and affection before kissing him again tender and sweet before collapsing on top of him and snuggling into his chest.

More immortals lose themselves chasing the ever fickle love of humans. I knew this. Hell I’d bore witness to it time and time again. Laughing and jeering at others of my kind as they fell to their demise from chasing the ever elusive beast that was a human’s heart. Oh how cunning and cruel a mistress irony was indeed.

And still here I was ever the fool laying, quite literally, at the feet of said proverbial beast. Welcoming with open arms not only the ruin and destruction of my good reputation as a demon but the desolation of my heart as well should flug ever decide to crush me, hurt me so detrimentally that I might not ever recover.

But it was too late. I was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Flug. No other would do. My traitorous heart was set.

“My heart is not but a sacrificial lamb for slaughter, to be devoured by the insatiable hunger of your love.” I whispered against flug’s temple as he lay in my arms already fast asleep, our bodies a tangled heap of limbs. “For not even death can part us now beloved. And god help any who think to try.”

#black hat #kinktober #villanos #paperhat #fic recs #fan fiction #monster smut #teteraphilia #elderitch horror #romance #kinktober fics #villainous #flug slys #dr. flug #black hat x dr flug

69 notes · View notes

deandoesthingstome · 10 months

Text

Walk with Me - Ch 7

Pairing: FBI Agent!Syverson x OFC, Drug Czar!August Walker x OFC

Chapter Summary: This is it. The warehouse and beyond. The end.

Chapter Warnings: I’ll be real honest, I don’t really want to give anything away here. There’s gonna be some more sex if that interests you. (It’ll be outdoors. What?)

Word Count: 5K

Masterlist: For full series Summary and Warnings

Spotify Playlist: If you’ve followed the playlist, you should know what’s new.

A/N: Super grateful shoutout to @dadralt for helping me with a few French translations. I put the English at the bottom.

A/N 2: I really really appreciate everyone who has read and commented/reblogged this story. I had ideas when I started and those took on a life of their own. I got stuck a little on the way, but I think I figured it out and I hope you like the wrap up.

Francesca

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. While August was busy looking into his associates to root out a mole, I had made myself available for anything, anytime, no questions asked when he got back from Asia. That also meant ignoring Sy and making sure any information he received came through the agency and the agency only. One incredible night in the arms of the man I had once thought would be the only one I’d ever love. That’s all the sanity I had to hold onto.

As I found myself continuing to slip deeper under August’s spell, I also relished the memory of Sy’s arms wrapped around me, holding me close and safe. On my own, I was reckless and wanton. I’m sure it’s what drew Sy, and most men to me originally. But while most men gave up trying to handle the edge after a while, Sy had always somehow found a way to smooth it out. And that edge only grew sharper the longer I was away from him. It drove men crazy when they couldn’t hold on, most opting to let go rather than risk the deep cuts.

Walter had understood what it took to dull the blade, because he needed a soother too. So while he came to understand he couldn’t offer me respite in his arms, he was there to try to ease every ache I came away with after losing out on love time and again. I envied him for the way he had been able to take each ending as a sign for a new beginning and hold on waiting for what he really needed. I think he could see the damage each heartbreak was doing to me, could tell that the longer I went without a net, the easier it was to embrace fire and danger with no regard for myself. But I don’t think he realized how deep down that hole I was falling. He thought it was just part of the game we played. Instead, this is how I let August in against all my better judgements.

August didn’t fear my sharp edge. He honed it. And until Sy reappeared, I struggled to make sense of why it felt so good to have August keep pushing me, why every time I saw him it felt like I was being forged in his fire. In the haze of the smoke we created together, fueled by drugs and sex and more passion than I’d known in ages, I let myself begin to believe there was a way through that didn’t involve putting him behind bars. Like a fool, I continued to gently broach the subject of just leaving everything behind. I no longer knew if it was still the smokescreen I meant it to be.

I kept Walter appraised, but there had been no new developments from what I had seen. No new security breaches initiated by any number of August’s club girls. No more state secrets passing his way. August apparently had everything he thought he needed to make his next move and he was just looking for the right time. I simply had to wait until Will had the data stripped off the club’s computers and was ready to hand it off. I had been unsuccessful in my previous searches, but Will was a masterful hacker. I just needed the call, but it never came and walking into the warehouse I knew why.

August had figured out Will was CIA. And now I had to hope Will had been able to keep our secret even after everything it was apparent August’s goons had done to him. I couldn’t tell for sure how long he’d been here, but some of the wounds were fresh enough to tell me that while August had been fucking my brains out this afternoon, Will was getting the shit beat out of him. And I hoped his training was just as good as mine and he’d been able to withstand the obvious torture I could see he’d been put through. This was never how this mission was supposed to go.

While August continued to share his credo about not letting anyone hurt him, I rubbed my thumb over the microchip I had pressed against my forefinger. I knew I had what we needed and there was no reason to keep playing this game that had stopped feeling like a game weeks ago. I wanted to rise to my feet, lean in close and whisper to August that we could still run. That I could hide him and maybe we’d be apart for a little while, but in the end I’d be his and he’d be mine and we would be together.

And then I heard the words coming out of his mouth and I knew suddenly how utterly fucked I was. I was about to ruin what was probably the biggest bust of Sy’s life and I was about to end August’s reign. Sy would never forgive me for lying to him and August wouldn’t be around to put me in my place. I’d end up with neither of them.

Like a specter, the voice drifted through my thoughts.

“We’re in position.”

“Take him.” I fought to keep my eyes open. I would not turn away from this mess I had made.

August had barely stopped speaking, head at tilt and eyebrow raised in query at my words when the bullet hit. I watched him fall and barely registered the second round that took Mateo out. I couldn’t really stop the tears if I wanted to. Everything was in shambles around me. Not only was my partner hanging on by a thread, the man I had come to love in some sort of fucked up fantasy where I believed I could save him was dead.

And I had to somehow explain to Sy why I had let him believe he was ever going to have a shot at taking down August.

I heard sirens and shouts from outside the warehouse. Flashing lights flickered through the doorway each time a new body entered the space. Medics were on the scene and Will was getting the attention he needed when Walter found me sunk to the ground on my knees, resisting the urge to crawl to August and take him in my arms one last time. Doubt crept in, as if I’d made the wrong choice and it took everything I had not to let the bile rise up in my throat.

Walter wrapped an official jacket around me and asked if I was alright. I shook my head slowly and I felt him hold me closer. He knew what was coming. I don’t know how he knew. He never once asked if I was falling for August, but somehow he could tell and he knew what I had just done. He knew I would be in my head about this one for a good long time. Longer than any of the others.

“We just need to finalize the report and record your statement. We can do a video now and then you can go. Okay?”

I felt his concerned gaze on me and mustered the strength to nod at his question, still amazed how he looked after me after all these years. We were never going to be together, but that didn’t stop us from caring about and wanting only the best for each other.

We set up in a corner of the warehouse, away from the noise of the agents processing the scene. Before he turned the camera on, I dislodged the molar mic I had installed before leaving the hotel earlier and handed it over. I had already sent in encrypted typed reports and the final video interview was just a recount of the last few days that I hadn’t been able to upload yet. I signed every affidavit he put in front of me, half numb with shock. He put me in the cab to the train station with a gentle press of his hand on the small of my back as he bent to whisper in my ear.

“I’ll get him a message along with the rest of the Miami files. He won’t be hung out to dry. He’ll have everything he needs to make the case against the rest of August’s associates. And he’ll know you're on your way to being okay, too.”

When I looked up at him, I could tell he saw my gratitude, even if I didn’t yet know how to voice it. Even if I still doubted every decision I’d made so far.

“Will?” I managed to whisper.

“Will’s gonna be fine. He has more than a little R&R coming, too. Don’t worry.”

We said a final goodbye and I headed off, ready to try to put this all behind me, starting with a deep detox. I spent weeks in the remote cabin, fully stocked with everything I needed to avoid everyone for as long as I wanted, including a method of emergency contact if things got really bad.

I rocked myself to sleep every night only to enter dreams that turned to nightmares. August leading me down a floral path, only to turn a corner and find myself ensnared in briars and brambles. August preparing a delicious meal only to serve me Will’s head on a platter. August making me come, over and over again, only to find myself ripped apart at the seams.

I dragged myself out of bed every morning, no matter how badly I wanted to curl up in the sheets and just die. I journaled every day and raged at the papers that held my lovelorn tears, my foolish fantasies and ridiculous notions. At night, I burned them in a fire meant to keep me warm, but every bit of me felt cold and lifeless. I took long swims in the crystalline lake and long walks in the woods and prayed that maybe I’d twist an ankle and fall down the mountainside. I longed to be lost and rid of the torture I felt forever.

I could tell my storm was easing when I awoke one morning with the recollection of August morphing into Sy. When the drugs were finally fully out of my system, I sat quietly by the placid water and put all my pieces back in place. August Walker was a drug kingpin who had put an insane amount of product on the street. August Walker was a murderer, who had put his competition out of business permanently. August Walker was a traitor who had bribed politicians and military brass for national secrets that he planned to sell to the highest bidder. August Walker was a monster.

No amount of fucking was ever going to change those facts.

I pushed the button on the SAT phone and waited for Walter to answer while I practiced the speech over and over in my head.

Syverson

Syverson turned off the ignition of the rental car, peered at the number on the house and checked it against the message from Ramos on his phone. He stepped out and made his way up the narrow path to the front door, gravel crunching under his feet. He stood still at the door and paused before knocking, suddenly unsure if he’d made the right decision.

“Ah, fuck it,” he muttered and raised his hand to rap on the wood. In the moments of stillness as he waited for a sound from inside, a shuffle of feet, any tell-tale sign that someone would answer, he took several deep breaths and tried to calm his nerves. It would be the first time seeing her again after months with no communication and he hadn’t exactly been invited by the occupants of the house.

“Comment puis-je vous aider?*” the elderly man asked, peering out the entryway with a perplexed look as if trying to recall who might be scheduled to visit today.

“Mr. Malloy? It’s Dean Syverson, from the States. I’m sorry I don’t speak French. I’m friends with your daughter, Frankie, er Francesca. I was told she was here.”

“Papa, c'est qui?**” a voice called from down the hall and Syverson’s heart almost exploded with elation. He took note of the waver in her voice as she appeared next to her father looking radiant in her summer dress and spoke again. “Sy? What are you…?”

Sy wanted her to burst through the door and wrap her whole body around him so he could slip his arms around her back and hold her close to breath her in. In reality, she froze in place next to her father, though he didn’t imagine the way he saw her stop herself from reaching for him. At the sound of throat clearing, Frankie turned to her father to speak.

“Papa, tu te rappelles de Dean ? Du lycée. À l'époque on l'appelait Sy.***”

Sy watched as the old man seemed to light up with memory and a small smile, then listened to a conversation between father and daughter that he couldn’t understand. Frankie’s father reached out to shake his hand with a wink, then turned to head back into the front room.

“Wanna take a walk with me?” Frankie asked, motioning down the path. “Or I could invite you in and we could do the pleasantries of small talk over cold lemonade and cookies I baked the other day?”

“You bake?” Sy asked with a chuckle.

“Been goin’ through all of Mom’s old recipes. It’s therapeutic in more ways than one. And sorry about that. Dad’s kinda given up on English, especially now that she’s passed,” Frankie answered and watched Sy’s face fall a little, eyebrows furrowed and head atilt.

“Well now I’m the one that’s sorry. I didn’t know about your Mom.”

“Thank you. It happened just before my last mission. I hated leaving but I promised him we’d spend time together once I was done with work.” She gave a quick glance back into the house.

Sy heaved a breath in and out. “Let’s walk.”

He waited for Frankie to close the front door and let her lead the way as they stepped back onto the gravel path and followed it around to the back of the house and down into the large, lush garden where she motioned to a stone bench facing a pond.

“I feel like I know this answer, because I doubt you’d be here if you did, but I have to ask: Do you hate me?” Frankie asked, turning to him with a look of concern on her face.

“Sugar I could never hate you,” Sy answered immediately without any hesitation. “Couldn’t for the life of me figure out why you shut off all communication and never came back, though. Marshall wasn’t exactly forthcoming either.”

“Did they at least tell you about...? About the case?” Frankie asked, unwilling to voice the name just yet.

“You mean the part where no one was ever gonna let him take the stand?” Frankie nodded at Sy’s question. “Yeah. Said if he had an opportunity to implicate any of the people he’d bribed information from, national security was fucked. Sure. Apparently, all those other traitors had guardian angels sitting on their shoulders. The number of retirement announcements from the military and congress was staggering. Is that why you didn’t come back?”

“Are you asking if it made me sick to my stomach? That August Walker took the fall for all of them? I guess that’s part of it for sure, yeah.”

“Fuck, Sugar. You really were in deep with him.”

“I was blind, Sy. I wasn’t not doing my job but I let a lot of things get in the way of reality and when I found out they were all getting off the hook I couldn’t stomach it anymore.”

Frankie turned to stare out over the water while Sy took a moment to ponder her words and consider if he really wanted the answer to his next question. It could make all the difference to the end result of his impromptu visit. But if he didn’t ask, he’d never know and if somehow things worked out between them, the possibility would hang over his head forever.

“Did you love him?”

He watched her slow-blink her eyes closed, inhale and let out a deep sigh. He felt the bottom begin to drop from underneath him, afraid now of her answer and what it would mean. He wanted to reach out and grab the words back, stuff them down his throat and never let them out again. He swore to whatever god would listen that if she would just come home with him when this conversation was over, he’d never give August Walker another thought. When she spoke, he almost couldn’t hear her answer, the way the blood from his beating heart rushed passed his ears.

“Not really.” Frankie turned back to Sy and opened her eyes. As her voice trickled through the dense fog of his worry, he could at least see the promise in what she was saying. “For a while I thought I did. It took me time to figure out that I just loved the way he made me feel. Alive and reckless with no one to answer to but someone who only loved me for the person they thought I was.”

“And who are you, Frankie?”

“I’m figuring that out now, Sy. That’s the other part of why I couldn’t come back. I didn’t want to step back into whatever it was we had started again without a better understanding of what my life means now. And what that means for whoever is going to be a part of it.”

“What do you mean ‘whoever’, Sugar?” Sy asked, struggling to hide the emotion her words had stirred within him. He was certain she couldn’t possibly think he wasn’t the one even as he realized how little time they’d actually had together. It killed him to think she might not give him a chance to prove how much he wanted to give her everything.

“I don't want someone afraid of losing me,” Frankie replied.

“I already did. I ain't afraid of it anymore. Just don't want to ever feel it again.” Sy watched her face carefully, searching for any sign that she didn’t understand exactly what he was saying. Just to make sure, he spoke again. “I ain’t looking to change you, Frankie. I ain’t looking to stop you from being whoever you want to be. I just wanna be there with you for as long as I can. If that’s okay.”

“Fuck, where did you come from?” Frankie asked after considering his words and smiled at his comfortable laugh.

“Frankie, it’s always been you for me. Who you are now? She ain’t really all that different from that wildcat I fell in love with twenty years ago. I love every fuckin’ thing about you.” Sy saw the doubt creep on her face. “Yeah, Sugar, all of it. You are a strong, self-aware woman who ain’t afraid to take what she needs. I count myself lucky you ain’t never found someone else interested in all of that and if I don’t get you to let me kiss you right now to show you what I’m talking about, well this whole trip’s probably been for naught.”

Sy lifted a hand to brush his fingers past her shoulder and smooth up the side of her neck, pressing the tips into her nape and applying the gentlest of pressure, waiting for her to make up her mind and lean into him. When she finally did, her lips crashed into his and he felt gravity flip as he grabbed on to her with his other arm and pulled her all the way against him. He slid his hand down to her hip and urged her to lift a leg and spin to straddle him so he could feel her weight and know she was real.

Sy smoothed both hands up her back as he held her close and kissed her deep, parting her lips with his tongue and licking into the space she made for him while she did the same. When he realized he wasn’t going to be able to stop if they kept kissing for much longer, he raised his hands to tangle in her hair and pull her head from his as he cleared his throat and spoke low.

“Sorry, that’s more than I thought I’d get from you at the moment. I doubt your dad or the neighbors wanna see what else I’d like to do to you right now.”

“There are no neighbors nearby, Sy. And Dad doesn’t spend time in the back of the house.”

Sy couldn’t help himself from stiffening at the thought and raised an eyebrow in question. He grew even harder as he watched Frankie bite her bottom lip and nod as she ran her hands down his chest landing at the clasp of his slacks. She unhooked the waistband and slid the zipper down agonizingly slowly before reaching in to grab his aching cock and push his boxers down enough so that he was free and could feel her touch on his burning skin.

He dropped his hands to her thighs, smoothing the thin fabric up her legs and sweeping his fingers over her ass cheeks while she stroked him lazily and bent to return to the kiss. His hands found the strings of her thong and he slipped a thumb under the back so he could grab hold and tug up, applying pressure to her clit. Frankie moaned into his mouth and arched her back into the sensation.

Sy pulled the flimsy material to the side and reached his hand further down and under her ass so he could just feel the wetness as he brushed his fingers against the delicate lips he could barely reach. He only realized how much he was also loving the way her hand squeezed and pulled him when she stopped suddenly and he broke the kiss to see what could be wrong. Instead of disaster, he was met with her mischievous eyes as she wiggled the hand that had previously been making him feel so good under her skirt while her other hand pulled the material back so he could see exactly what she was doing.

He groaned and watched rapt as Frankie slid her fingers inside her underwear and into her cunt. She pressed deep and moved around before she pulled them back out glistening with her own juices. And just like that he was in heaven again as she smeared her slick all over his cock and bent to whisper in his ear.

“Fuck me, Sy.”

“Gladly.” Sy eased her thong to the side down her thigh as she pressed her feet into the earth beneath them to lift up and settle herself back down his length with a luxurious sigh. She had barely engulfed him completely before he began to squeeze his ass to pump his hips into her with fervor.

With her hands on Sy’s shoulders, Frankie used the leverage to lift and lower herself on him in tandem with his thrusts, as he delved deeper and deeper. He felt every squeeze of her walls around him and swallowed her cries of pleasure as the head of his engorged member brushed her cervix again and again.

Sy wanted to put his hands on her body, on her skin. He thought about lifting her dress up and over her head, but settled on simply wrapping an arm around her waist and sliding the other up her back so he could manipulate her movements to make sure they were both feeling as good as they could. He wanted this to last forever, but seeing her now, hearing her moan above him for the first time in months knowing the last time he saw her he was making her come too caused a rush of sensation to course through his body. He pulled away from their kiss again.

“I ain’t gonna last Sugar, not like this.”

“I need you to hang on a little bit longer, Sy. Please,” Frankie begged him, grinding her hips a few more times before she did the unthinkable. After easing herself off him, she pulled her dress off exactly the way Sy had just wanted to. She dropped it to the grass and then sank to her knees and finally her back with the dress as a makeshift blanket. She reached out for him and he tumbled forward off the bench and between her open legs, pressing a kiss to her lips as he palmed a breast.

His lips moved over her chin and throat as he began to ease his way down her body, pulling her tiny thong along with him and pushing it off her legs. He took a few moments to push his own shoes and pants off as well pull his shirt over his head and now just as naked as Frankie, Sy positioned himself between her legs, shoulders spreading her wide so he could get a good long look at her puffy, pink pussy dripping and waiting for him.

“Not sure I’m gonna last long this way either, but we’ll give it a try,” he teased before putting his mouth on her. He nipped at her clit and rubbed his forefingers along her slit, easing in and out with a tease she whimpered for. When he heard her beg with a “please” he slid his fingers all the way in and licked around them. Sy pumped and pressed the palm of his hand against her mound for a moment before he pulled his hand all the way out and let his tongue do the rest of the work.

He felt his cock rub against the fabric of her dress as he rutted against the ground and fought to stem the growing pressure.

“So fucking turned on eating you out like this, Frankie,” he groaned into her cunt before returning to the job. Frankie held his head in place, grinding up against him. When she came in a rush of heat and wet, Sy took the opportunity to crawl back up and slip his dick inside her, thrusting and pumping with vigor. He grazed his fingers up the side of her body and then watched as she grabbed his hand and moved it to her throat, pressing just a little.

“Just hold still right there,” she gasped. “Fuck me and I’ll do the rest.”

Sy grunted in pleasure at the thought and did as he was instructed. He felt Frankie lean up into his hand. All the effort it took to keep his hand precisely still for her meant his attention wasn’t on how good she felt around him as he pumped in and out. Where he thought he’d need just a few more strokes, Sy now felt the time slip by as she moved into his hand and back out again, playing with her own breath for him. When he finally felt her tighten around him, he wasn’t prepared for how fast his own release came as well. He was so caught up in the way she maneuvered that he hadn’t noticed the build at all.

They lay naked on the grass next to each other, catching their breath with hands on their chests, waiting until the pounding of their hearts had resided before turning to face one another.

“You sure no one could see us?”

“Would you hate me if I said no?” Frankie teased before leaning over for a kiss to taste herself on his lips. “Kidding. No one can see us. Even if Dad ventured back to the kitchen, where he never likes to go anymore, there are enough trees and bushes in the garden to obscure this view. Our closest neighbors are a couple kilometers away. Your virtue is safe, promise.”

“Funny.” Sy rolled her on her back and kissed her long and deep again before settling along her side, drawing lazy lines along her skin. “You know I didn’t know what to expect when I saw you again. I’m real glad how this has turned out so far.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you in limbo forever, I swear. I just needed to get my head on straight.” Frankie sat up and reached for Sy’s pants, handing them to him and motioning to her own dress below.

“Did I fuck up your timeline?” Sy asked, plucking his shirt off the ground next. He stuck his arms through the sleeves and tucked his thumbs in the neck hole to pull the shirt over his head, elbows wide, before checking around for his shoes.

“I’ll recover, I’m sure.” Frankie slipped the dress back on and did her own sweep of the lawn, looking for her panties.

“I got those, Sugar,” Sy grinned, making a show of tucking the small bundle into his pocket. “Safe keeping till you come back home.”

Frankie reached up to run her fingers through Sy’s hair, brushing a few stray pieces of grass from his locks and let him do the same for her before pulling him in for more kisses. She broke away reluctantly and hooked her arm through his to lead the way back up to the house.

“I honestly haven’t decided when that’ll be, Sy.”

“I’m pretty good at waiting for you if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Or if I ever will.”

Sy stopped short and turned her to him.

“I wondered about that. Not for my own selfish reasons, mind you. But I got to thinking about some of the things you told me over dinner that night. About having a safety net of sorts. This is a nice place.”

“I also told you I liked being useful…but you’re not wrong. It’s been a long time since I took care of myself.”

“Or let someone take care of you?”

“Sy…”

“I ain’t talking about keeping you under wraps, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, Sugar. I just mean, you don’t need to go it alone. Look, you are free to make your own decisions about going back to the agency, finding something else to do, or quitting altogether. But I wanna be with you, Frankie. Wherever that is. If you wanna stay here, I’ll let you know right now that if you’ll have me, I’m ready to leave it all behind, too.”

“You’d walk away with me, Sy?”

“I would.“

Translations of the French *,**,**:

* “How can I help you?”

** “Papa, who is it?”

*** “Papa, you remember Dean? From high school. We called him Sy back then.”

Taglists

Everything Henry: @sillyrabbit81 @kittenofdoomage @mayloma @kebabgirl67 @fvckinghenrycavill @geralts-yenn @beck07990 @itsrubberbisquit @sweetdreamsofgelato @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @alexakeyloveloki @marantha @aireraume @angelmather1 @lizzystuffsthings @enchantedbytomandhenry @omgkatinka @littlefreya @avengersfan25 @thesaucynomad @just-chirpin @henryownsme

Walk with Me only (I added you if you reblogged or asked and Tumblr would let me): @kingliam2019 @valacircareads @sofiebstar @cardierreh15 @firstcashheroathlete @ylva-syverson @sunriserose1023 @cavilladdict @angreav @ellethespaceunicorn @mis-lil-red @peaches1958 @xhoneyxbeex @livisss @hangmanscoming

#henry cavill fanfiction #syverson fanfiction #august walker fanfiction #syverson #august walker #fbi agent!syverson x ofc #drug czar!august walker x ofc #syverson au #august walker au #henry cavill #walk with me #mine #deandoesthingstome

81 notes · View notes

urauntiefaye · 4 months

Note

Faye sis, my brain sometimes lacks sanity💀 And I can't prevent it (please help me)༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ || You know I now have a hard scenario since the morning that sometimes makes me confused with my dirty thoughts🤺 || The scenario is about my Jo again of course (I have a hard time getting it out of my brain compared to getting my brain out of the scenario about Taesan or myungjae)🫠

That scenario "This started when I saw his uniform, hairstyle and facial expressions on the red carpet at AAA 2023. My brain keeps thinking he is part of the school's popular basketball circle. Seeing him in a uniform like that and his hairstyle like that would definitely make the girls go weak in the knees for him. Yeah, I imagine I'm his enemy who secretly loves him, and always gets 'burnt' if I see him flirting with other girls. Like 'bro, you should be mine!'. I often 'touched' myself in his locker room when school was really quiet (All the students have gone home). I did that out of desperation because he and I were enemies who often hurled curses at each other. And one day he caught me touching myself while crying because I was really on the verge of breaking down because he didn't know how I felt at all. I moaned his name quite loudly and didn't realize that he was watching me. When I climaxed on my fingers, he would catch me with a mocking face and then give a little humilation. Still with him wearing a uniform like at AAA but it's a bit messy, he would probably squat in front of me with a mocking face, saying that 'Shit, it turns out my own enemy needs me. Pathetic'. But he held my finger, which was still wet from my own 'doing', then sucked it. Tasting me in his mouth💀. That would be a sexy and hot sight.😵‍💫 Bro, he will make me his 'toy' right then and there and confess his love when he climaxes inside me. After finishing, I would think he would take off his accessories he was wearing (such as bracelets and necklaces), then put them on me who was still panting🤭. He would say "My darling beautiful girl". I can't imagine what will happen tomorrow after he claims me brutally, even though he and I are enemies before. When I entered the cafeteria, he wouldn't let me sit on the bench, but on his lap🌚. Making his fans shocked and jealous because they didn't expect Jo to choose his 'enemy' as hisprincess."

I hope these hard thoughts don't enter my dreams, because if they enter my dreams while sleeping, when I wake up I will cry because it's not real😭😭😭😭😭

I really need psychological help because my brain is thinking crazy things constantly👀

XANDRA IVE FUCKING MISSED YOU AND YOURE BEAUTIFUL BRAINS *kisses your brain*, how've you beeeeen?

But nooo reading this has DONE THINGS to me, you don't understand. You can't just drop this off because what if it enters MY dreams huh!?

I love the idea of him calling you "My Beautiful Darling" please this mans

I love you 🥺, I need more of your beautiful thoughts

#&team hard hours #auntiefaye🧚🏻‍♀️#&team smut #&team jo hard hours #asakura jo smut

20 notes · View notes

quicktosimp · 5 months

Text

Tug on My Heart

Kinkmas Day 08

Warnings: Tail Play, Threesome, Alien Genitalia, Dom!Jake, Dom!Reader, Sub!Neytiri, Scent Kink, Cunnilingus

A/N: Currently writing this while sick, hope it comes out good

@neteyamsyawntu

Three kids within a year. That right there could end anyone's sanity, but we make it work. Mo’at is a blessing from Eywa herself; whenever we need a night out, she offers to watch the three of them. Just like tonight, we dropped them off with the supplies they needed for the night, and Mo’at took them happily into her arms. I think she misses having little ones around, but I don’t want to take advantage of her, so I always bring her gifts of her favorite berries and herbs for her tea, things that can be difficult for her to get while taking care of the clan. We each hugged and kissed the babies good night as we calmly walked out of the kelku, but the moment our feet hit the outside, we ran, giggling like courting teenagers.

We ran around, giggling and dodging each other as we tried to grab one another. In the night sky, our sanhì shines in the dark, giving our mates the perfect view of each other as we chased each other to the ikrans roosting area. After a quick call, we had bonded with our ikrans and had taken flight. The feeling of the wind hitting my face as the ground is far out of sight is a euphoria I can never forget. The dark forest underneath me, with the tops of the trees nothing but a dark cloud. I smiled at the sight, happily enjoying my view, forgetting about my mate's teasing nature. That was until he flew over me upside down; laughing at my shocked expression, Jake winked at me as he continued on, aiming for Neytiri. Unfortunately for Jake, Neytiri is a much more experienced flyer and easily dogged him with a resounding call. I chased after them, souping under Jake and swearing, so I stopped right in front of him. My ikran's wings spread out as he came to a sudden stop. Now, it was Jake’s turn to be surprised as he laughed at my antics. With a flash, Neytiri flew between us, startling the two of us. Jake and I looked at each other and knew what we would do. Eyeing Neytiri, we sped off, chasing her tail, laughing the whole way. As we chased her, we started to spiral down, circling around, simply enjoying the time. After long hours of flying, we landed, our blood pumping through us as Jake and I continued our chase. Our minds were too in sync as we both tried for Neytiri’s tail. I barely felt the fur on my fingertips before I hit Jake’s chest, giving Neytiri the opportunity to run away. I let out a playful growl as I lunged for Neytiri again, getting behind her as Jake went for the front. The two of us pinned her between us. I nubbed my chin along her neck, scenting her thoroughly, as Jake reached around and grabbed her tail, tugging on the base.

“Ma’Jake, not there,” Her voice was weak as she moaned her words.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. I trailed one hand up along her body, stroking her skin in a feather-light touch before I reached her head, tangling my fingers in her braids. I pulled her head to the side, giving myself more room to scent her. Neytiri’s sense of smell has always been more sensitive than the average Na’vi, which is perfect for Jake and me as our scents are like an aphrodisiac to her. With her neck spread for me, I rub my scent gland over her, dominating her natural scent and leaving my own in place.

“Come on, Neytiri, be a good girl for us,” I whisper in her ear before licking her scent gland and biting down on it.

“Rutxe,” Neytiri keens as her knees buckle.

There was no space for her to fall, stuck between Jake and me. We both chuckle at her reaction, needing to see more from here.

“Come on baby, you can do better than that,” Jake enunciated this with a pull on her tail.

“Rutxe, Ma’Jake, Rutxe,” The moans continued to spill out of her mouth, the pitch rising from the tug on her tail.

I look at Jake and motion to the mossy rock, which is perfect for what we need. Understanding my hint, Jake picks Neytiri up and carries her over, laying her on the rock with her head hanging off the side. I stand with her head between my legs as I rake my fingers across the soft of her stomach.

“Kehe,” Neytiri whined, wrapping her arms around my thighs, trying to bring me closer.

Walking in between her legs, Jake slapped her inner thigh, “No, baby, you don’t get to tell us no. You just take what we give you,” Jake said as he started to play around her slit.

“You really should listen, Lovie. Jake’s in a teasing mood tonight. If you’re not careful, you won’t be leaving here satisfied,” I threatened, knowing the last thing she would want is to leave her without cuming.

“Am I really that bad?” Jake asked with a smirk, already knowing the answer.

“You always are; it’s one of the many things I love about you,” I answered honestly in return.

“Come here,” Jake gestures to me.

We both lean over Neytiri’s body as our lips meet. Soft but passionate as we moved in tandem, our breaths met between each kiss before our lips locked together again. I moved closer to Jake, placing my slit right in front of Neytiri’s face, which she took advantage of. I gasped into Jake’s mouth as a warm, wet muscle licked at my central stripe. With my mouth open, Jake thrust his tongue into my mouth, intertwining with my tongue, as I start to hump into Neytiri’s face. Her tongue became more persistent as she poked and prodded at my slit, begging it to open.

I part from Jake as a groan leaves my mouth, “Look, Jake, she’s fucking needy tonight,” I roll my hips as I notice Neytiri’s slit fully open, her juices flooding over her stomach and dripping down the rock, the brightness of her slick matching the color of her sanhì.

Jake had three fingers twisting and fucking inside Neytiri, his hand going at a speed I could barely comprehend. Her slick was flying everywhere, from the pace every time Jake pulled out, splattering it over himself as well.

“Tiri’s fucking leaking everywhere; I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much of a mess before,” His words were cruel, but he said in awe.

Just then, Neytiri’s tongue pocked inside me, my slit finally giving way to her advances, “Oh, shit, that’s good,” I moan as her tongue works inside me.

“She better be because she doesn’t get my dick until you cum first,” Jake said, bringing me back to him.

Neytiri took his words to heart as the grip on my thighs tightened, and her tongue became frantic. Moving inside me fast enough that my inner tendrils couldn’t keep up with her tongue. Irritated by this, I grabbed a hold of her tail and tugged harshly.

“Do it properly!” I demanded, keeping a hold of her tail.

I could feel her scream into my slit, but nevertheless, she obeyed. I stayed leaning over Neytiri, rolling my hips into her mouth as each tendril tried to wrap around her tongue, only to lose it when she moved yet again. With her tail in hand, I knew I could have some fun; instead of tugging, I moved my hand up and down, not unlike giving a human a handjob, and the moans that came out of Neytiri were angelic. I messaged my fingers into her tail as I moved it up and down, causing her body to arch into my touch. At this point, she completely forgot about her job. I looked at Jake, smirking, knowing how this night would go. I continued my actions on her tail as Jake added a fourth finger inside her slit.

Muffled by my slit, her moans were still understandable, “Rutxe, Ma’Jake, Rutxe, Rutxe, Rutxe, Ma’Yawne.”

Neytiri’s body was tense, like her bowstring, before she releases. Knowing this, I had to go one step further to push her over the edge. With her tail in hand, I bring the end up to feel the fur along my lips and bite down.

Neytiri arched off the rock as she screamed her release, her slick glowing everywhere and continuing to gush out of her. Her toes curled, and her eyes scrunched shut.

“Irayo, irayo, irayo,” Neytiri repeatedly moaned; she repeated that until she finished cumming.

“You know Jake, Trir keeps saying thank you. Does she think that it is going to get her out of her punishment?” I ask darkly, a smirk covering my face.

“She better not, she disobeyed, and now that pretty little ass is mine,” Jake agreed, flipping her over.

I grabbed her tail again, lifting it out of Jake’s way as Neytiri started to protest.

30 notes · View notes

the-enzyme · 21 days

Text

I modified my 3D artist OG-RE4 Leon S. Kennedy head sculpt. I also repainted him, for the gazillionth time, if that wasn't obvious. I have to say, modifying a tiny eyelid was pretty easy to do with the Vallejo Plastic Putty, the only issue is, it doesn't seem to sand all that well. It started to crumble when I tried to sand it. I let it cure for longer than 4-hours, when is supposed to take only one to two hours, according to Vallejo's own website. I had read mixed reviews about it sanding well, or not. I guess it doesn't? Kind of weird, considering it is meant to be filler for models, and then it goes without saying, meant to be sanded afterward for a perfectly smooth finish...?

Regardless, I feel it works well enough for me, for tiny modding projects. I am definitely going to use it again for my Leon, whom I feel happier about right now, but I still know that he's not accurate enough. He'll never be, because he wasn't sculpted accurately enough, and that's pretty sad. However, the only thing I can do is try to make mine as accurate as I can without having to pay someone else to 3D sculpt another one for me. I could try myself, but I live in the middle of nowhere and I don't want to have an adventure trying to figure out how to create a 3D sculp/mesh/file to then have it 3D printed somewhere. I haven't (3D) modeled anything in more than a decade. I feel like my old dusty 3D Max and Maya, are probably not it, for 3D printing and that's all I know. Since those were the programs, we were allowed to use in college, back in the dark ages. When I learned how to 3D model. I believe blender is the popular choice for 3D printing nowadays, but that wasn't allowed so I didn't even bother trying it. Of course, I am not going to be 3D modeling a head at this stage. I much rather mod this boulder of a 1:6 head sculpt. It's a huge head for what it is, and not accurate, but it's all I got! DX

I am happy that I found something that is less wasteful than a tiny .25 oz container of Aves Apoxie, and less expensive as well. I am probably going to try modding my Myou Bettina next, since I wanted to give him smaller eyes, but still don't want to waste money on Aves' clay, when I know I won't get even halfway through the tiny container. Now, I can actually try, without fear of wasting clay, money and possibly sanity. Modifying (relatively) tiny heads is a huge pain in the gut, but I still want my Leon to be more accurate, but not enough to pay anyone again for another failed likeness. I also want my Bettina to have much smaller eyes. He looks too baby faced for my taste. I do love my Leon so far, I feel he makes a gorgeous looking figure. However, I want my OG-RE4 Leon to be accurate and this is not it. I sanded his upper lid a lot, the 3D sculptor gave him te droopiest lids ever, I also sanded his jaw quite a bit -- Leon has a very roundish head. Not sure what the artist was thinking. I added an actual upper eyelid with the Vallejo putty, because the 3D-sculptor didn't give him any. Certainly not even close of an eye-shape as Leons, but I feel like I'm doing good progress. I wanted to see what the putty was like, before doing heavier eye mods. Now I kind of know, so I am comfortable moving on. I will try first on m Bettina, however, because that is an even larger head, with huger eyes to try plenty of times, without worrying too much about heavy damage (I hope!).

The 1st image and the last two were taken with my older than dust cellphone. I like the way those look, the "newer" phone adds a lot of noise/grain, for absolutely no reason, and also the colors are kind of gross, but they are all samsung phones, so I have no clue why the "newer" ones suck so badly -- I suck at taking photos as well, but I need all the help I can get. The "newer" phone, doesn't do me any favors. Sadly.

10 notes · View notes

randomshyperson · 2 years

Text

Mystery Club - Chapter Five - Wanda Maximoff x Reader Series

Summary: Returning to your hometown five years after leaving everything behind, including your best friend, is no easy feat. Getting involved in a secret club wasn't in the plans either. Or the one based on Life is Strange.

Warnings: (+18) high school au, best friends to lovers, mild/heavy angst mentions with happy happing, use of legal substances (alcohol, marijuana), violence, verbal aggression, explicit language, smut, triggers regarding sexual assault, mentions of death, grieving, hints of depression and anxiety, panic attacks, a lot of domesticity.

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad || Series Masterlist

--//--

Chapter Five - The Mystery Club

You were sleeping on something very soft and instinctively snuggled down tighter, sinking your face onto what you imagined was one of your pillows.

But a hoarse laugh filled your ears, and then a female voice in the same tone "Are you comfortable, detka?" teased, and you opened your eyes in confusion and sleepiness.

The room was dimly lit, and you adjusted as you grew accustomed to the awakening. Wanda's hand slid down your back, and you looked up, finding her expression drowsy like your own.

"Good morning." She barely finished speaking and you already jumped away with a lack of grace, curling up in the covers that wrapped the two of you and falling out of bed with a loud thud.

Wanda laughed heartily at your flushed face and your grimace. "Man, why didn't you just push me away, this is so embarrassing." You muttered ashamedly, but the girl tilted her head, watching you climb onto the bed with a little smile on her lips.

"Don't be silly, Y/N, we used to sleep in the same bed all the time." She gently reminds you. You grunt clumsily as you sit up in bed again.

"When we didn't have boobs!" You retort mortified, but Wanda just gives a devilish giggle.

"So what, you found them quite comfortable all night long. Good thing I took my piercings out..."

"Wanda!" You interrupt her awkwardly, your face burning that you hide in the pillows as you throw yourself on the bed next to her. She laughs at your reaction. "That's so humiliating, I'll never look at you again."

She stops laughing with an indignant exclamation. And to test your sanity, she simply climbs on top of you, hugging you and pressing her breasts into your back.

"Don't you dare." She warns against your ear. "You stayed away long enough, I want you all to myself now." She whispers, bringing a shiver to your entire body. You swallow dryly, trying to control your heartbeat as Wanda inhales deeply into the back of your neck. "Malysha, you still smell the same, I really missed..."

A very inconvenient sound was about to escape your throat as Wanda adjusted one of her legs in between yours - But knocks on the door made you both jump in fright, the little bubble broken.

Wanda grunted annoyed against you, before rolling to the side, and you stood up on shaky legs, trying to adjust your hair before reaching for the doorknob.

Yelena frowned at your appearance. "Dude, why are you still in your pajamas?" She questioned, and as you turned your face to check your watch to confirm that you were late, the blonde noticed the girl on your bed. "Never mind, I see why. Good morning Wanda!"

Wanda offered a smile and a nod, but you were grunting in complaint at not having been woken up, and stumbling around behind a decent outfit for class and your toothbrushes.

"Just give me a minute Lena, I just need to find a shirt!" You prompted, but Yelena was more interested in talking to Wanda.

"No one better see you here, Maximoff or you two are going to get in trouble." Recalls the blonde, but Wanda settles herself better against your bed, propping both arms behind her head.

"I'll be quiet, I promise." She says innocently, and you raise your head from your sneakers to her.

"Are you sure? I have a full schedule today. I don't want you to get bored waiting for me here." You tell her, adjusting the calf of your vans.

Wanda chuckles. "Well, I can always say hello to my old colleagues."

Yelena shakes her head in disapproval, waving goodbye and saying she will wait for you outside. You finish putting on your shoes and look half hesitantly at Wanda.

"Are you going to... talk to Natasha?"

Wanda stares at you, her gaze gleaming with mischief. "Why? Are you jealous?"

You huff indignantly, feeling your face heat up. "What? No! No. That's ridiculous. We're not.... you- you know what? Yeah." You confess breathlessly, and Wanda's eyes widen in surprise at your boldness. You swallow dryly. "I just worry about you. And maybe I think you can do better than Nat."

"Yeah? Who?" she challenges.

You open your mouth, but Yelena yells at you to hurry outside and you sigh loudly, moving to grab your cell phone and keys, missing Wanda's disappointed look.

Before you leave, you tell her to text you if she needs anything and offers a small smile that she returns.

"I heard my sister's name." Yelena comments casually on the way to the classroom after you left the bathroom. You sigh.

"Yeah, but it's no big deal." You retort. "Just me being stupidly insecure and jealous, I guess. Wanda can talk to her ex all she wants, I don't want to be the kind of person who freaks out."

Yelena hums in understanding, opening the door to the entrance building for you two.

"I wouldn't worry about it anyway, Y/N." She says.

You frown softly, walking toward the lockers in the hallway crowded due to the time with Yelena. She leans in a little.

"There is absolutely no chance of them getting back together. My sister cheated on Wanda with Maria Hill in front of the whole school." She confides in you. Your shock is so great, you end up bumping into a couple of hurried students, and can barely mumble apologies.

You open your mouth to question this, but the bell rings and the hallway becomes a war zone. Yelena pulls you into the lockers, and you push the conversation to later.

–//–

Your morning dragged on in a very dull and exhausting way. Surely it had to do with the fact that your favorite girl was in your room and you were stuck in a classroom.

Wanda sent you messages a few times, but they were purposely short and vague to make you even more anxious and inquisitive about seeing her.

When lunchtime finally arrived, you immediately apologized to your friends as you hurriedly left the table, and Yelena took the trouble to explain to them why.

Good thing you were already far away so you didn't hear her say that your girlfriend was in town as justification for your escape.

Wanda was not in the room, though. She texted you just before the end of the last class, saying that her truck was parked at the school entrance and when you went to her, the girl was already waiting for you.

"I thought you couldn't be seen on campus." You comment as you arrive, but Wanda smiles.

"The street doesn't belong to Charles, so I can stay here as long as I want." She retorts, and as you climb into the truck, she waves to the Drax Guard further ahead, who is scowling angrily, seeming indignant to see her there at the front gate. "Ready?" she asks checking, and with your nod, she starts the car.

As the institute building fades away and is replaced by the landscapes of nature, you look at her again.

"What have you been doing all morning?"

"Going through your stuff of course." She teases with a little smile. "I can't believe you actually own some lingerie now..."

"Wanda!" You quell her with an embarrassed giggle, slapping her on the arm but she only laughs, pulling away from your hand.

"Careful, I'm driving." She teases. You snort in embarrassment, crossing your arms.

"Idiot."

"Yeah, but you love me."

You roll your eyes. "Irrelevant."

She bites back a smile, making a turn as one hand on the steering wheel while the other reaches for something in her jacket pocket.

"I found something interesting, too. I wish you would have given it to me if you had it all along." She says, and you look at the item she is holding.

With a sigh, you take the letter back. "I didn't have it." You begin. "I found the draft on my computer yesterday when I was reviewing some content. I thought I'd print it out and give it to you since you never got a chance to read it."

She hums, an affectionate smile playing on her lips. You open the letter, re-reading your own words from so many months ago for a moment before Wanda is speaking again. "I liked it, Y/N. It's sweet and sincere. It's exactly the kind of thing I needed to hear from you. In person."

You swallow dryly, folding the paper and putting it away in the glove compartment of the car. "I'm sorry, Wanda. I know I should have been there."

But she turns her head to you and smiles. She lets go of the steering wheel and brings a hand to your thigh. "I told you we're even, milashka. You didn't show up for my brother's memorial, and I didn't show up for your father's either. Do you know what I was doing? Absolutely nothing but sitting miserably in my room. Maybe I was messing around with Natasha, who knows? I should have taken this damn truck, and driven to New York. And stayed by your side, that's what I should have done. But that's not how it happened. We both let each other down, but we have a chance to do the right thing now."

You placed your hand over hers, intertwining your fingers. Neither of you had to say anything more about it.

It is only when you can see the beach that you let out a soft exclamation.

"Where are you taking me, Maximoff? I'm hungry." You let her know, managing a small laugh.

"There's food there, I promise." She retorts, releasing your hand to shift gears.

It doesn't take long for Wanda to park, and once you read the street sign, you recognize it as the same address as the club's letter. Wanda locks the truck, and approaches you, giving you a gentle nudge.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to the place." She says leading the way down the beach trail.

The path is familiar, and you are not surprised that in a few minutes the two of you come out on Westview Bay, facing the lighthouse.

What catches your eye besides the immense tower is the smaller structure that should belong to the Lighthouse Keeper - You remember that when you were a child, the house was full of graffiti and wood covering the entrances, since this place had been abandoned for years.

But it was different now. The graffiti was replaced by colorful drawings scattered all over the renovated brickwork. The wood was gone, and the doors were replaced with new ones, and their locks were shining.

The club's symbol was graffitied at the entrance as well.

Wanda didn't even need keys, because as soon as you two reached the entrance, the door opened.

"Maximoff! It's not your visiting day!" Warned a short girl who looked like a smaller version of Wanda to be honest. The brunette next to you giggled.

"I know Rach, sorry for coming unannounced." She said approaching. "I just wanted to bring a friend to visit."

The smaller girl grimaced suspiciously. "Is she trustworthy?"

Wanda gave another nasal laugh. "Well, she founded the club, if she's not, we're screwed."

The information made Rachel's eyes widen. "Wait, you're Y/N Rogers? Like, Y/N Rogers?"

You awkwardly clear your throat, offering your hand for Rach to shake. "Actually I prefer Stark, but that's me." You say gently, missing the way Wanda looks at you with some doubt. Rach smiles cheerfully.

"I'm Rachel Roth, everyone calls me Rach, Raven, or Ray-Ray around here. It's so cool to meet you! There are like a dozen pictures and drawings of you in the lighthouse and-"

"From the founding trio, Rach. Don't talk like that, it sounds kind of creepy." Wanda corrects between teeth with flushed cheeks. You laugh impressed. "Would you like to introduce Y/N to the place?"

Rach nods quickly and wastes no time in pulling you by the hand inside. Wanda gives you a teasing wink as you walk past her.

Just like outside, the entire lighthouse house has been refurbished with carpet and paint. It is the coziest place you will ever be. There are fluffy carpets, soft armchairs, and sofas. Bookshelves and television, plus game and snack machines. It feels like a larger version of the small general quarters that Wanda set up in your old garage.

Besides this, there are people inside. All teenagers of varying ages, but mostly around Rachel, America, and Kamala's age.

You assume that the faces are unfamiliar to you, either you didn't notice them at the Institute, or they are students from other schools in the neighborhood.

Surprisingly, familiar faces come to greet you just as Rachel finishes introducing the kitchen and living room.

"Y/N, I can't believe you finally showed up here." Jean Grey said approaching you excitedly, and to your surprise, hugging you as if you were old friends. "Anna almost couldn't keep it a secret for so long."

The shorter brunette shrugged, offering you a small smile. You scratched at the back of your neck absently.

"So you two knew about the club?" You asked. Jean laughed.

"Of course! It's amazing here if you ask me." She replied cheerfully. "The guys in our year are more interested in parties but we prefer something else."

"I think Jean means we're weird." Anna completes and receives a gentle nudge from the other girl.

You laugh gently. "It's cool to know there are people my age around here."

Jean nods, reaching up to put an arm around your shoulders and point around to the people scattered around the manor.

"The older ones are the leaders, so we take the description more seriously. That's why we didn't introduce ourselves earlier, we were waiting for you to be recruited. There are the other leaders, Scott Summers, the one with the red glasses on his head. Tim Drake is in the background there playing pool with Garfield Logan. We also have Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers. Rachel is our youngest leader. And well, now we have you."

You chuckle, turning your face to her. "I just got here, I'm not the leader of anything..."

"Come on, you founded this place!" Jean insists. "There are pictures of you everywhere." And to prove her point, Jean dragged you close to the bookshelves - leaving Anna and Rachel talking behind - until you could see the dozens of pictures scattered around. It was true, pictures that surely belonged to the Maximoffs were everywhere. Your childish face stamped all around. "It's so cool to have you around, Stark."

You laughed half-heartedly, ready to thank her, but someone spoke first behind you.

"How about you take your hands off, Grey?" Wanda warned with her jaw locked, and Jean exclaimed softly, taking her arm off you and raising her hands in surrender, a smile playing on her lips.

"I was just showing her around, Wanda."

"Oh, I bet you were." Wanda retorted infuriated, reaching out her arm to pull you towards her. "Go find something to do."

Jean sighed, rolling her eyes. "Sure thing, boss." She retorted teasingly, offering you a smile just to annoy Wanda before leaving.

You turn your face to Wanda - who is still watching Jean walk away as if waiting for her to have the audacity to do something different - and pull your hand out of her hard grip with an impatient sigh.

"Wanda I'm hungry, stop behaving like that and feed me." You demanded with a pout, and she sighed lightly, the irritation fading completely when she sees your expression.

"I went to get your food, it was you who stayed behind flirting with other people." She accused stubbornly, and you chuckled short, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Is that jealousy in your voice, Maximoff?" You challenged. She rolled her eyes.

"Why would I be jealous, detka, you were all cozy on my tits this morning. I think I'm fine-"

"Shut up!" You interrupted her with an embarrassed laugh, pushing a hand over her mouth. Wanda chuckles too, raising a hand to your arm, and not letting go even when you remove your hand from over her mouth. Your arm drops to her side, and she entwines your hands together, staring at you the whole time. You swallow a lump in your throat, trying to keep your gaze in her eyes.

Wanda smiles, leaning close enough for your noses to rub, but she was only reaching for a picture behind you on the bookshelf.

"I think you should keep this one with you." She whispers, and you take your eyes from her to the photo. It must be one of the only ones there that have just you and her, without Pietro. "I want to be on your wall too."

You smile affectionately, raising your free hand to the photo. "Of course, Wands." You assure her that you will hang it with the other in your bedroom, keeping the photo in your pocket. Wanda drags a finger over your palm, looking at your mouth for a second, and you wonder if she would have the courage to do this with so much of an audience. From the way her pupils darken, she would.

"Come on, I got you some food." She comments in a husky voice, turning to face the entryway where you saw she'd left a picnic basket she'd probably prepared in the time you were getting to know around. Or maybe this morning, who knows?

With an excited little jump, you followed her outside.

–//–

"I wasn't sure this place existed."

Your sentence makes Wanda look at you curiously. You are walking side by side to the beach, looking for a place to sit.

"Why do you say that?" She asks. You kick up some sand with your feet, bare now - You both took your shoes off at the end of the trail - and give Wanda a small smile.

"It's just that Kamala and America knew nothing about it, and they were my most... quantitative source." You explain with a chuckle that Wanda accompanies. "It was hard to track down that address."

"How did you do it?"

"By cross-referencing information, top ten spy work if you ask me." You brag in jest, and Wanda giggles, pushing her shoulder gently against yours.

"You're right, it's impressive. You're very smart, detka, I'm proud." She says, and despite the teasing in her tone, her eyes are sincere and so you blush slightly. Wanda nods for a good space but comments before you reach "Your informants are recent members of the club, they can't know the headquarters yet. Besides, Rach, who takes care of these things, has the impression that they are not very good at keeping secrets. And for those who study at the institute, that's essential to preserve the club."

You sigh softly. " Is there no chance you can convince Charles to revoke the banishment?"

Your suggestion makes Wanda hesitate, a little surprised. Before you can ask what's wrong, she retorts, "That's one of the things I want to figure it out, Y/N. To the police, Charles reported that the people were at the dam because of the club's activities. I think he wanted to relieve someone of responsibility for the party. Every time I brought up the subject again, he shut me down and managed to convince my father that the club is the reason Pietro is dead when he wasn't even hanging out with us anymore. It's so frustrating!" Wanda exclaims last, clearly enraged. You approach.

"Hey, we'll work this out." You say gently to her, a hand on her forearm. "You and me, just like old times."

Wanda sighs, letting her face fall against your shoulder. She inhales deeply, and you think she is trying to calm down.

When she looks at you again, she offers you a small smile.

"Let's eat, we can talk about this later." She says last.

You find a comfortable spot on the sand. The tide is low, and the weather is incredible. Wanda remembered to bring a towel too, which is much appreciated.

After a few moments of eating and chatting away, you finish chewing some grapes and ask the girl lying next to you:

"[...] You still haven't told me how your family dinner went."

Wanda gives a light giggle, her eyes closed. The sun was shining on her skin and you were practically mesmerized.

"Because it didn't happen." She retorts, surprising you a little, "My father never showed up. He said he had some unforeseen thing at work or some shit, and Charles dropped the subject."

You hug one of your knees, propping your chin up, and face Wanda. "Sorry, honey." You say, and she opens those beautiful green eyes at you, confusion in them.

"It's not bad, I avoided a grounding." She jokes, but you offer a sad smile.

"I know you miss him, Wands. Your father used to be better than this, and you deserve better." You tell her, and Wanda is so shocked that she says nothing, turning back to stare at the sky.

You let her absorb your words, turning your attention back to the delicious fruit and casually commenting on the taste.

Suddenly, Wanda sits up. "Let's go swimming." She declared, already getting up.

You stammered. "It's kind of cold and I didn't bring any bikini-"

Wanda laughed, pulling her blouse out with one motion. The chill went away, as your body burned with shyness. "Stop being a chicken. Come on!" She pulled off her skirt, and kicked it away, rushing out into the water.

She called to you again, and this time you stood up. You removed your clothes grumbling until you ran toward the icy water.

"Damn it! Wanda, it's freezing!" You complained but she was laughing, diving in beside you, and throwing more water at you.

It didn't take long for you to get accustomed to the temperature again, and once you and Wanda were face to face, you commented:

"Weren't we supposed to wait an hour?"

She laughs, moving even closer, and you swallow dryly, trying to disguise your nervousness. Wanda moves her hands under the water, up to your waist. "Are you still cold?" She asks in a whisper.

You nod, feeling your face burn when she looks at your mouth. "Wands..."

"Stop overthinking." She interrupts equally affected, raising a hand to your cheek. It is chilled from the water and you exclaim softly, giggling as she does. "I really missed your laugh, dorogoya."

You smile affectionately, raising your hand to hers on your cheek. "And I missed all of you, Wands." You assure her, narrowing the distance between your faces. Your noses rub together, and you both close your eyes at the same time, sharing shaky breaths.

The second your lips meet, someone clears their throat behind you.

You startle, looking back, and Wanda blinks in confusion at the kiss that didn't happen. She grunts softly at the interruption, but you are trying not to blush so much over Rachel's curious gaze.

"Sorry to interrupt, really, but I got that information you wanted, Wanda." Declares the girl to the brunette next to her, who looks ready to strangle someone. Rachel clears her throat unsurely. "You told me to come to you as soon as I could-"

"Yeah, I remember." Wanda interrupts with a forced smile. "You could have texted, you know?"

Rachel shifts the weight of her feet. "Sorry." She mutters, but you clear your throat.

"Thank you, Rachel, really. I'm sure Wanda really appreciates your help." You assure her, and the girl gives a smile. You turn away from Wanda at once, ignoring her grumbling protest, and go over to the towel to wipe your hands and pick up the paper Rachel brought.

The younger woman dismisses herself with other excuses, and once she is far enough away, you throw the towel at Wanda who is making her way out of the water.

"Ouch." She needlessly complains about the towel, but you roll your eyes, starting to dress yourself quickly.

"Those kids are not your employees, Wanda. Don't talk to them like that."

She huffs angrily. "She could have texted, I was busy!" She defends herself with flushed cheeks.

Although your face also heats up, you don't flinch.

"She did you a favor! You can't treat her like an inconvenience when she was only following what you asked!"

Wanda throws the towel on the floor. "Okay, fine!"

"Fine!" You shout back.

"Great!"

"Incredible!"

"Awesome." She waxes irritated, breathing out of rhythm as you do. At this point, neither of you knows why you are yelling. You stare back at her anyway and grunt in irritation.

"God, you are so... infuriating!" You accuse, tapping your foot. Wanda chuckles dryly.

"Oh, and you are so easy yourself?" She sneers.

"You know what Maximoff, I want to go home!"

"Be my damn guest! Since you hate how this place works so much!"

You roll your eyes impatiently, turning your back on her and walking angrily off down the trail.

Wanda huffs and then gives a confused laugh as she realizes herself there alone. Her heart is racing against her chest, and she tries to understand how in five minutes she went from wanting to kiss you to yelling at you.

–//–

The way back to the Institute was tense and silent.

Your heart didn't start beating normally again for a moment, because your stubborn brain kept replaying the sensation of feeling Wanda so close. You were trying your best not to show it, and trying not to freak out about the fact that if Rachel hadn't interrupted, you would have kissed your best friend. Again.

Wanda pulled into the parking lot and sighed lightly as she gripped the steering wheel with both hands.

Seeing that you weren't going to speak first, she did. "I know you think I don't care about those kids, but I do." She assures, meeting your surprised gaze at the subject. "I may have my reasons, but the club is like a second home to them. It's a safe space. I wouldn't risk it. And if playing the role of angry leader is what it takes to keep everything a secret, I'll do it."

You sigh, reaching out a hand for Wanda's on the steering wheel. "I never doubted that you cared about them. I only asked you to be grateful, but I shouldn't have yelled. I don't even know why I was angry, it was stupid. I'm sorry."

Wanda smiles at you, grabbing your hand and bringing it close, and kissing it. "I'm sorry too." She asks, staring at you, and you can only nod at her, returning the gentle squeeze on her hand before she lets go.

Wanda takes off her belt, and gets out of the car in record time, going around to open the door.

"Your highness is home." She teases in a falsely cordial voice.

Once you get down from the truck - grinning embarrassedly - Wanda closes the door and leans back.

"Since when did you get so charming, Maximoff?" You tease with an arched eyebrow.

She pushes her tongue into her teeth. "Always has been, you just never noticed."

You narrowed your eyes at her. "I did notice." You recall, and Wanda gasps softly. She tries to regain her posture, but you are already close enough for your feet to touch. "What? No quick response for me, dorogoya?" You retort, and Wanda - despite the pink in her cheeks from the proximity - looks at you curiously.

"How do you…?”

"I might have asked Yelena to teach me." You clarify by shrugging, an innocent expression on your face. Wanda swallows dryly as you bring your hands to the collar of her blouse. "It's very sweet that you call me your baby almost every day." You tease low, leaning in a little and Wanda has to brace herself hard on the car door to keep from falling. Your eyes stare at her. "Is that what I am to you, Wands?"

She sighs affectedly, leaning her forehead against yours. "You are whatever you want to be, malysha."

You hold her cheeks, and Wanda moves her hands to your waist, holding you in place. Your voice is breathless as you whisper to her: "I am your best friend. I'm your family. We could be more if you want."

She closes her eyes, tilting her head until your lips brush and you have no choice but to close your eyes as well.

"You are already more, detka. You are everything." Wanda declares in a shaky sigh, before closing the distance between your mouths. It's needy and desperate - She grabs your waist tightly and you release her cheeks to hold onto her shoulders, gasping sighs against each other's mouths.

Wanda is grateful for the door giving her some support as you slide your tongue into hers, sucking and pulling a low moan from her throat.

You kiss like this for a long moment. Hot and frantic against the car door, until you realize at the same time what you were doing - and the kiss unbroken by your shared breathless giggles.

Wanda hugs you, grinning against your collarbone before turning her face to you, and kissing you more slowly.

The next few are quieter but equally delicious. And when you break the last one, you bring your hands to her cheeks again.

"You got better at this." You tease between one kiss and another, and Wanda laughs with her eyes ajar, her cheeks flushed.

"Do you still remember that?" she asks almost unsurely, her hands caressing your back.

You face her with a little indignation. "Of course I do! You were my first kiss."

She kisses you again, and again until you sigh into her mouth.

"I wanted to be." She confesses, squeezing your waist. "That's why I brought up that we should practice together. Even if you dated someone else when we grew up, I would always be your first kiss and you would be mine. It was our thing."

You bite your lip, staring at her with intensity. Wanda sighs, hiding in your neck with an embarrassed grunt. "Don't hide, I think it's cute. Kind of hot."

She giggles against your skin, squeezing you a little tighter. "Sorry I wasn't your first time too."

You pull her face back through her hair with a gentle tug. "Where did the virgin joke go?" you recall with an arched brow, and Wanda laughs, shrugging.

"No virgin takes their clothes off so fast as you did on the beach..."

You cut her off with an affectionate slap to the forehead, grunting indignantly as she laughs. You take advantage of her surprise to slip out of her arms.

"Since I am being offended, I will leave." You declare, but can't resist when Wanda pulls you back by the arm, and kisses you, again and again. Between giggles and stolen kisses, you finally manage to break free of her a while later. "See you soon, Wands."

She waves, breathing half-heartedly as she's leaning on the door again. Her intense, passionate gaze made your stomach fill with butterflies but you merely smiled before saying goodbye.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #Mystery Club

233 notes · View notes

gaypirate420 · 1 year

Text

Waiting for you.// Dream*

Dream of the Endless* x male!reader.

Part one. Part two.

Summary: Meetings in the rain after a hundred years.

The raindrops began to hit his black coat.

The Lord of Dreams enjoyed the freedom, the air, the breeze, the water on the grass, the clouds and dim sunshine.

He walked between the crowd, eyes avoiding him not very discreetly.

"Hey, boss, where are we going?" Matthew asked landing on his shoulder.

"I'm looking for someone, Matthew." He responded as he walked towards that mansion, that place where everything started.

He suddenly stoped.

A museum.

Your home is gone, and there is no trace of your whereabouts.

"Need some help, boss?" Matthew asked landing on the stairs, Morpheus looks at him, the raven shakes any water on his feathers.

"I could send you after him but I have to find him myself." He answered and started walking again.

Matthew caw but Morpheus kept walking.

"Return to The Dreaming, Matthew." He ordered, the raven cawed again giving the dream lord one last look before starting to fly.

Morpheus thought about where you could be, to maintain a low profile and not raise any suspicion about an inmortal man just hanging around with the townsfolk.

He doesn't believe you're dead.

That dark thought did cross his mind while he was captured, many times but he could feel you and your profound sadness generated by your love for him.

Where could you be?

Maybe your parents cottage home was still around.

He walked and walked, filled with hope that you are alive and well just like a hundred years ago.

The rain soaked him completely but he kept walking out of town.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morpheus stood infront of the cottage and his mind is flooded with the happiest of memories, he smirked but his happiness doesn't last long.

There is no light, there is no sing of something.

He looked down and grabbed his pouch of sand, maybe he'll find you in your dreams.

He turned around giving a last look at the nature that hold many emotions, after a sigh he began to let the sand fall on his hand, slowly almost defeated.

Someone calls his name, his blue eyes looked up immediately.

"Morpheus." You whispered again.

The Dream Lord walked towards you with hesitant steps.

"My love." He spoke low while stepping closer, you stayed still looking at him with wide eyes.

You missed the sound of his voice. You saw him getting closer and closer, your eyes filled with tears.

He got under your umbrella and your faces were inches away.

He tries to grab your hand but you don't let him, you take a step back getting away from him.

"This—is a dream isn't it? Another nightmare." Your voice broke.

"My darling, this is no dream nor nightmare, I am real and I am here with you again." He acknowledged softly.

Your finger touched his cheek, testing your own sanity.

"My starlight." You whimpered, it felt so strange to recite those words again.

You cupped his cheek and the tears rolled down your face. Your hand traveled down his shoulder, you looked at his eyes.

You hugged him, burying your face on his chest, you sobbed against him, his hearth aches with every whimper.

"It's okay, my dear." He whispered, wrapping his arms around you.

"I'm with you again." The Dream Lord remarked, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.

You looked at him, admiring him but Morpheus leans over, his soft lips meet yours and you feel it again.

The taste of stars, galaxies and dreams.

His hand cupped your cheek, your body melts against him.

"I missed you so much." You whispered against him.

"I know, my dear. Let's return to our home." Morpheus spoke, you kissed him once again.

He called your name.

"Yes?" You pulled away from him, he hold your hand against his chest, he kissed it softly.

"Be mine— forever. Rule The Dreaming by my side, be my lover for the rest of our days and even after we no longer exist, stay with me in whatever comes next. Please." Morpheus begged you with a soft tone and glazy eyes.

"I can't resist another day apart from you. Please, my love." He whispered.

"Y—yes, of course!" You shouted with glee. He smiled softly and leaves a tender kiss on your forehead.

"I will gladly live for the rest of eternity with you, Morpheus." You spoke.

"Then it is time to return to our kingdom and start a new era, my love." Morpheus announced, you squeeze his hand.

A last kiss on the lips and there was sand surrounding you.

All that sorrow, all that sadness was gone.

Your hearth was complete again.

You called his name, he called yours before smirking.

You smiled, he will be with you for the rest of time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: heyyy took me some time but here it is! Part four will be soon!!!.

#the sandman #the sandman x male reader #the sandman imagine #the sandman x reader #x male reader #morpheus x male reader #morpheus x reader #morpheus #dream of the endless

155 notes · View notes

writingoddess1125 · 7 months

Note

Hi, you're my favorite author of buggy fics here on Tumblr, and I want you to be the first one to read my little buggy fic draft. I'm open to criticism, btw (English isn't my first language, so my grammar may be a little off. I did listen to me and my husband on a loop while typing this).

In a way, one could also describe Buggy's love towards you as "obsession". No matter how toxic, hurtful and painful it is for you, you just can't let go.

You know you have to leave him, for the sake of your own sanity. But he always draws you back in with promises, his sweet nothings, and that little twinkle in his eyes. You just can't help but fall for it. Over and over again.

You're like an addict, chasing the next hit of that sweet, forbidden love.

Buggy snickers and rolls his eyes. as he saw me looking at him while he packs his things.

"Don't play that card now, darling. I'm out having a good time without you. As I should, seeing as you are nothing but a bother. I needed a more... fun experience."

Buggy's tone of voice is indifferent, his gaze sharp. He's not about to let you drag down his spirits with your sad little eyes.

As you talk to him. Buggy can easily hear your voice breaking, along with that fake smile plastered on your face. He gives you an annoyed glare.

"Stop it. I can tell your feeling hurt, you always try to be all sneaky about it. Yet I know you are only good at pretending..." Buggy chuckles, amused at your actions.

"It doesn't make you less pathetic, you know?"

Buggy snickers, shaking his head as he finishes packing up the rest of his belongings in one large bag.

"If I have to deal with your nonsense one more minute, I swear to whatever that is holy I would strangle the life out of you myself."

He snickers with a cruel smirk and turns to face you.

"So quit your sad little acting and go cry in the corner or something. Just be out of my sight." Buggy turns his back on you to leave.

i go off into our shared bathroom and open the faucet so my cries would be masked by the water running.

Buggy hears the sound of water running, knowing the reason why quite well.

"Yeah that's it. Cry and get it all out of your system. Don't be so sensitive, darling. I'm going to have a lot of fun out there, I can't be bothered to hear your whining."

He laughs a little, the sound not so amused, rather harsh and cold. With a shake of his head, he walks out the door.

The slamming of the door echoes through the entire apartment.

Oh I love this heartache!

MORE ID LIKE MORE OF THE ANGST AND ALSO A CHANCE TO BEAT THIS FUCKER TO THE GROUND-

#x reader #one peice x reader #one piece #one peice live action #buggy one piece #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #angst #female rage #cheaters caught

50 notes · View notes

the-sun-is-also-a-star · 7 months

Note

"For someone who loved words as much as I did, it was amazing how often they failed me."

-- If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio

“Because freedom, I am told, is nothing but the distance between the hunter and its prey.”

-- On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

and as for poetry, i like to talk about "Written in my Dreams by W. C. Williams" by Allen Ginsberg with other people because it's short and rolls over the tongue nicely and i like to come back to it, puts a smile on my face, you know?

i'll also never forget "A Carcass" by Charles Baudelaire from when we read it at school years ago and then again in high school and i have now chosen Les Fleurs du mal as one of the books for my oral school leaving exam, so it's definitely one of those authors i read once and was never able to get out of my head

and last but not least, Louise Glück (may she rest in peace) and her "Theory of Memory" which includes the ending "Right now you are a child holding hands with a fortune-teller. All the rest is hypothesis and dream." and i simply don't have a choice but to love this one

i have so many more favourites, but these are the ones i can think of right now hehe <33

what r ur favourite poems and quotes??

those are brilliant actually

mine are quite, different to what one may think but i like finding meaning in things that other people think are only surface level :

思い出なんかいらん - we don't need memories

this is from the anime haikyuu LMAO which is a fucking volleyball anime and it is the team motto of one of the teams. It is quite honestly my life motto at this point. I used to live in the past, excused people for thing they do now because they were different in the past. they were different in my memories. I was so focused on the past i forgot to enjoy my present. I am done doing that. My memories hold me back. I am tired of it.

"to love and lose and still be kind" - warsan shire

this is pretty self explanatory. i dont think I've had a hard life. but i certainly haven't had an easy one. i have a habit of giving too much of myself to people. I'm working on rectifying that whilst still being kind.

"but i cut people out like tags on my clothing" - conan gray

I LOVE people watching its one of my favourite songs. but this line is really important to me. I've cut the tags off of my clothing for as long as I can remember. ever since i was a kid. I also have a habit of cutting out people the second they break my trust. as easy as cutting off tags from my clothing. I don't think its a good habit or a bad habit. it just. is.

"It's always the ones who are quietest who often have the greatest things to say" - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This is from one of my favourite books of all time. I was a quiet child for a while. I never got excited for anything and after a while my parents suspected I had childhood depression, we still don't know for sure if I did. It makes a lot of sense though. It took me a while to become confident in my own voice and my own opinions. this quote is really important to me.

"Men don't cry. My daddy taught me that. Men don't cry because they don't have time to cry.

I must not have been a man yet because I cried. I bowed my head and cried." - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This isn't personal to me in anyway, I just really, really love this part of the book and these two lines in particular.

"I'll be your hands." "I'll be your sanity." - TJ Klune, Ravensong

love has always been something I've read about. but this quote takes the damn cake.

as for poems,

At a Funeral by Dennis Brutus

I analyzed this poem for an English Lit class and the story behind why it was written really stuck with me. It was written after the death of Valencia Majombozi who was shot on the day of her graduation from nursing school. Its a protest poem and it just hits really fucking hard.

Death of a Naturalist by Seamus Heaney

This was the first poem that i ever took inspiration from. I had of course written before, but I really enjoyed Heaney's writing style so it strongly influenced my poem Quietude, which I am planning to submit to the empty inkwell publication...hopefully lol

Identity Card by Mahmoud Darwish

This poem is written as a form of protest poetry as well. Mahmoud Darwish was a Palestinian poet, for those of you who do not know and he wrote this poem about being asked for his identity card by Israeli Officers. Its really, really good.

#IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG JSHSKSJSK #this was really fun to make tho #poems #poetry #quotes #english literature #literature #poets #mahmoud darwish

22 notes · View notes

aussie-the-hedgehog · 4 months

Text

Okay, I think I need to do this for myself.

I've been rewatching MHA to gear up for season 7. However, it seems I'm also watching to prove something to myself.

It's been nearly a year, and I still greatly struggle with shame of having Ochako as my favorite character. I realize this is a drawn out topic on this blog, but I must air this grievance for the good of my mental sanity.

I feel whenever I'm on Twitter, I see many brutally slander her character. I see criticisms that she has no use in the show. I have witnessed posts circled with threats concerning the topic. It is making me further question why I enjoy the character as much as I do.

To be frank, I care A LOT about what people think - honestly to a fault. I was verbally bullied as a kid for how I looked (I had buck teeth, glasses, and social struggles due to sensory disorders and autism). I struggled to fit in through my elementary and middle school days. I was labeled as "weird" and "a teacher's pet" just to name a couple. I always felt compelled to prove myself to fit in with the kids of my classes.

I also was made fun of for being a Dallas Cowboys fan. Granted, I live an hour away from Philadelphia, but I was picked on quite a bit for liking them.

One day after school in fourth grade, I was on a bus heading to a rec center for after care. The Cowboys were playing the Eagles the ensuing Sunday. If you know anything about the NFL, these two are bitter rivals. They absolutely hate each other. The bus driver was aware I liked the Cowboys. He decided to start a chant on the bus ride, "Dallas sucks!" all the way there to the rec center. All the kids jumped in without hesitation.

I was horrified. I broke down crying. I felt like in that one moment the world was against me. There was a kid sitting next to me who tried to comfort me by saying he's on my side rooting for Dallas. I appreciated his support, but in that moment I just wanted to get off the bus.

When I got off, my mom was waiting and saw me in tears. She scolded the driver for making me cry over a football game. The bus driver was fired the next day.

I will admit I have come to terms with the teams I like (it helps the Cowboys are a meme), but it's still difficult being honest with the things I enjoy. This is especially the case when it comes to the hopeful, compassionate trope in shows.

I look on social media sites such as Twitter. I see all these vitriolic comments directed toward those who enjoy Ochako for no reason. I feel I've been indirectly abused because I am a part of her fandom.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again - she follows the trope I like. She's the glue that keeps the group together. She's loving and kind to everyone she meets. I honestly see her as an honest to goodness daughter. You can call it weird if you want, but it's how I feel.

Now, you can look at all of this and conclude I shouldn't be on Twitter. That is totally fair. I do need to limit my time on social media. However, this remains discouraging in my life. I started watching MHA last February and this issue STILL remains. I'm ashamed for enjoying something morally okay since the fandom is extremely harsh concerning her.

I feel it has to do with my past in being criticized for what I enjoy and seeing the fandom crush anyone who likes the character. Both have come together in such overwhelming ways.

Another factor is one I've mentioned before. I am a guy and should be liking more masculine things. In no way should I be interested in female characters or how they give hope in dire predicaments. Yet, it's something I find admirable because that's just what I like. I have to be alright with that.

In no way am I victimizing myself. This is a grievance I've had to get out. The toxicity from the fandom and my own negative thinking have gotten to my head for me to at least put my fingers to the keyboard. Writing is a cathartic practice for me. Crafting pieces like this is extremely healthy for me.

There isn't much more to be said about why I like Ochako Uraraka. I've made several posts why. You can look at those if you're so inclined. All in all, I hope one day I can be confident in why I enjoy characters like her and not feel a need to care about what others think.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#aussie vents #mental health #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #ochako uraraka #uraraka ochako #uravity #ochaco uraraka #verbal abuse #sensory issues #autism #toxic shame

17 notes · View notes

thinkpink212 · 10 months

Text

♡ Taking Myself There ♡

The past few days had me wanting to gain overview over my life; specifically to look at where I am, where I desire to be, who I desire to become, all of it!

In short, for a moment I had lost track of what I wanted to do in life. I quit University 3.5 semesters in because I didn’t belive it could get me there the why I wanted & it was overall just the wrong time in my life. I lost friends, making me doubt everything even further. Covid hit, and life just sunk into more chaos. I left many people, including the person I was. With most of my family cut off, being homeless for months & staying places I wasn’t welcomed or felt entirely safe in — I’ve managed to turn my life around in such a short time. Physically, emotionally and mentally I am now ready again to fully commit to myself & the goals I’ve had since I could remember

I’ve managed to move into a place that feels like home.

I’ve managed to pass an exam I’ve been battling for 3 years.

I’ve made new friends, and met Incredible people

And most importantly, I’ve become the person I needed all those years ago. But she’s here now and now I feel ready to jump in with both feet.

My Goals have always fluctuated as I’ve never been a very ‘one goal’ orientated person. I’ve been a full time artist, worked in the receptionist world, retail & sales advisor. But all of those always felt like they lacked something or were more so a means to gain the financial stability that was needed for me to to what I truly wanted to do—

I’ve never been one that desired working, but when the work didn’t feel like work I was all on board! This goes for all things astrology, tarot readings, drawing & painting whatever I felt like creating. And most importantly, writing.

I have two main goals in this life

♡ Becoming A Publish Author

Ever since I could remember, I loved reading. I loved hearing stories and telling them! I’ve always been a very imaginative person, very creative, and I’m always told I’m great with words — and I believe it. I have tales I wish to share, tales I know will inspire more then I already have & tales to inspire myself to keep going. Nothing brings me mroe joy then when I am typing away, lost in my little worlds.

♡ Becoming Financially Secure

I do not need bilions but I know I’ll make more money then I’ll ever need. It’ll be enough money to never worry about unexpected expenses or those around me struggling. I’ll have more then enough to leave my future generations with financial security. I have known luxury, and I’ll know it again.

So now what? It’s simple really, I just need to do what I’ve always done — persist, and go after what I know is already mine. It’ll take determination, discipline, persistency, but also it’ll take for me to rest when rest needs to be had. Asking for help when help is needed.

Soon I’ll graduate and become a certified massage therapist — a job I already know is very fulfilling, and despite the physical and emotional taxation, it’s something I see myself doing while I write my stories & get closer to financial stability.

The idea of doing all of this brings me such internal peace and warmth.

The rest of the year will be a time of…

♡ Saving, living within my means and reminding myself that this is a sacrifice for a better tomorrow

♡ Making writing my all, just how it used to be. The stories are in my mind already, and many are created weekly, but focus and determination will get me there

♡ Knowing when to rest, because my sleep, sanity or overall health should not be compromised for something that can be resumed tomorrow.

♡ Continue to be my own peace, saying no more and focusing on this endeavor

I’ll be Enjoy the journey. It’ll take a while, and I know because I’ve inspired others to write. Friends, and my cousins have written and published their work (some are still not there but aren’t giving up) and seeing how long it took them, but their determination got them there, is inspirational. I planted a seed and now they all have trees and I’m so proud. Now it’s my turn to plant my seeds and watch them grow. I’m ready!

And I start today —

All updates will be made under #ThinkpinkJourney if you would like to follow along my journey to success

#thinkpink thoughts #perosnal #soft life #goals #author #financial stability #week 1 #manifesting #manifestation #goals setting #determination #black girl manifest #thinkpink manifest #aspiring author #massage therapist #lifestyle #about me #thinkpink journey #taking myself there

26 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

desconofficial

Descon

craftsim

CRAFTSIM.

cybercrybabie

exoticshit

𝕸𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖊 𝕮𝖆𝖗𝖕𝖊 𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖒

smokingtiger

SMOKINGTIGERS