#bruce is so done with this

[cardinalcheerio]

Bruce: Why didn't you tell me about Damian!

Jay: Cause you dress your kids like traffic lights and send them to fight crime!

Bruce: And Talia teaches hers to kill people!

Jay *master Gaslighter*: So we're not your kids anymore? Wow bruce. Just wow.

Bruce: *sigh™️ *

Damian: tt

#batfam headcanons #bat family #batfam #batfamily #jason todd #bat brothers #dick grayson #red hood #tim drake #incorrect batfamily #jason todd incorrect quotes #incorrect jason todd #bruce wayne #imcorrect batman #bruce is so done with this #jason has no reason exept wanting Maximum chaos

[ressaart]

streets of gotham

#screams #its done #this one gave me so much wrist pain lol #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #damian wayne #robin #bruce wayne #batman #also cass and steph are there they're just at the very top of the tallest building i ran out of places to put ppl #so i wont tag them sadly :( #my art #gotham

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Little Jason tries really-really-really hard to not disappoint Bruce, but he doesn't know that Bruce standards after Dick look like:

Nor chewing on the plaster (please)

Don't bark on stray dogs (if possible)

Don't set the mansion on fire (optional)

#there was “don't drop the chandelier” #but Bruce doesn't believe in miracles #this man is so done #batman #batfam #batfamily #batdad #jason todd #bruce wayne

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

The Smell of Home

Damian had noticed the new student in his school.

Not because he was new or how he looked

no, not any of the usual reasons someone would grab peoples attention.

Weirdly enough it was his scent, which was really weird. He usually didn't take notice of how people smell besides the usual just like anyone else.

But something about the smell that seemed to emanate from this new student who he had learned his name was Danny Fenton, just would not leave his mind.

He knew the smell but couldn't remember from where and it was just at the tip of his tongue, it was driving him crazy.

His family seemed to notice him become more irritable from usual.

But not around Fenton, he seemed to unconsciously calm down in his presence, which just made him suspicious and more irritated.

It wasn't until he woke up from a dream of memories from when he was little and still living with his mom that he realized what he was smelling.

The Lazarus Pits.

He grew up with that smell, it used to hang around the entire area and buildings.

He hadn't realized how long it had been since he had smelled it

He unconsciously related it to the smell of his childhood home.

But why would this random boy give off that very same odor?

Some investigating needed to be done.

~

Danny had noticed one of his classmates a boy he learned was called Damian seemed to act ...odd?

But only around him it seemed

With everyone else he was normal if a bit cold.

He would seem to relax an then suddenly tense up and send him a suspicious glare.

Also he was pretty sure that the boy seemed to be sniffing him?

Did he smell bad or something?

Why was he the only one who he seemed to act weird with.

Oh God, maybe he thought the smell of ecto was weird?

But that's not something he could control and most people never even seemed to notice the smell of ecto he produced since he became a halfa.

~

Damian glaring at Danny every time he realizes he's relaxed

Danny: "What did I do!?"

~

Batfam notices Damian being extra grouchy :" Ah, he's going through his rebellious phase"

~

Danny: "Did you just sniff mE!"

Damian: *scoff* "Don't be absurd"

~

Damian stealing Danny's clothes to analyze

Danny: " Who keeps taking my stuff?!"

Batfam: "Damian we know you're growing and experiencing new things, but stealing the things especially clothes from your crush is crossing boundaries"

Damian: "This is a misunderstanding, I don't have a crush on anyone!"

Bruce: "Son I think it's time I give you 'The Talk TM', I have an entire slideshow and docume-"

Damian: "This family is a nightmare!"

~

Just an Idea

#dp x dc #danny phantom #dc x dp #dpxdc #batman #danny fenton #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp crossover #dp #damian #damian wayne #ectoplasm #ecto #lazarus pit #bruce wayne #bruce is so done #batfamily #bat shenanigans #batfam #they're Sophomores so like in 10th grade so like 15/16

[violet-foxe]

Oh. My. Gosh.

I just found out that Bruce Wayne's middle name is Thomas.

His initials are BTW. FREAKING BTW.

I'm just imagining that he wrote his initials down on something as a signature and Tim sees and just stares at him for a long moment before opening the family group chat

Tim: btw

Jason: by the way what?

Tim: btw, btw is Bruce's initials

Tim: none of us have figured this out before.

Tim: we have failed as detectives

#batfam #dc #batman #bruce wayne #initials #funny #tim drake #time drake is so done #jason todd

[bruciemilf]

Headcanon that, every year on their birthday, Kryptonians get new superpowers.

Clark doesn’t really keep track; That’s Bruce’s job, for the most part. This year? Mediumship.

me·​di·​um·​ship

/the capacity, function, or profession of a spiritualistic medium/

“Communication with spirits,” Bruce has this habit of nicking his thumb with his teeth, pretty, hazel eyes glossy with thought. Clark doesn’t need supervision to see how beautiful he is when his mind’s at work. “Fascinating.”

“Yep,”

Clark watches Thomas Wayne’s ghost give him the glare of the century behind his son’s back.

The skin of his jawline is entirely ripped off, peeled by Joe Chill’s gun, like the news article said. Sincerely, the Wayne glare scares Clark more.

“Fascinating.”

#thomas being a protective father and fucking with every suitor from #beyond the grave my beloved. he bothers Clark in small — but infuriating — ways. breaking all the chargers in his home. #so Clark can’t work from home or get work done on time. shut off the electricity in the middle of his interviews or meetings. #or talking to Bruce. writing articles about Perry white and blaming it on Clark. calling Lex Luthor hot. #PROTECTIVE DADDY THOMAS THATS ALL #bruce wayne #superbat #battinson #clark kent #thomas wayne #dc comics #dc #batman #text #text post

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

My take on stalker!Tim:

Robin!Jason gets distracted during a patrol and doesn’t meet up with Batman, who panics is mildly concerned. Jason doesn’t want to reveal the real reason he got distracted (could be something he was working on for Bruce or just him being a cute baby nerd) so he makes something up the spot. A kid! He saw a kid. It was definitely child shaped. And. Uh. Photography! That’s right, he saw a kid taking photos and made sure he got home safe.

Batman: Photography?

Robin!Jason: Yeah, uh, nighttime photography.

Batman: At midnight?

Robin: I mean, it’s not a school night.

Batman: What were they taking pictures of?

Robin, panicking and going to the first thing he can think of ch just so happens to be last Sunday when Dick called Bruce an emotionally repressed furry: Uh, wildlife?

Bruce is skeptical but honestly he’s seen weirder things even tonight so as long as the kid got home safe…

Jason proceeds to use this same excuse a few more times.

Batman: Don’t tell me, it was the kid again.

Robin!Jason: You just missed him.

Batman, who isn’t feeling strong parental feelings at all: Hrn.

Okay so then fast forward a few years. Jason is on his little murder training gap year and Tim has shown up to the manor trying to fix the disaster that is currently Bruce Batman Wayne. Dick, trying to bond with the kid now that it’s apparent he’s not going anywhere, asks what Tim’s interests are.

Tim: Well, I like photography, and…

Dick, putting two and two together and getting forty-seven: Ohmygosh you’re the kid.

Tim: The what now?

Dick: The kid with the wildlife photography.

Tim, thinking about that one competition he entered a year ago: Uh, I guess?

Dick thinks that’s how Tim figured out all their identities. He thinks he has it all figured out. He does not. Bruce now thinks he has it figured out too. He does not. Tim is unaware there was something to be figured out. Jason is off learning the finer points of poisoning or something idk.

So skip forward some more and Jason is back, minus some murder attempts or whatever because this is crack, and Dick is now trying to get his two brothers comfortable with each other. It is not working. Finally, Dick remembers they’ve definitely met before.

Dick: So, do you remember meeting Tim before?

Jason, whose memory resembles Swiss cheese but is fairly certain he never met Tim before now: Uh…

Dick: He’s the kid! The one with the wildlife photography!

Jason, suddenly remembering the excuse he used several times as Robin: The what now?

Tim, knowing full well that Jason was very dead at the time he submitted anything in a wildlife category: The what now?

Jason pulls Tim into a hall closet to interrogate him about this.

Tim: There’s like five rooms right here that no one has stepped in in a month. Why are we in a closet?

Jason: What, exactly, did Dick mean by you were the one with the wildlife photography, because I’m pretty sure that was just an excuse I made up but now I don’t know.

They figure it out. They also agree to just let that belief be. Jason doesn’t want to admit he made that all up. Tim doesn’t want to admit he thought Dick had gone to his art competition thing before they even officially met. Tim also doesn’t want to explain how he actually figured out their identities because this sounds way cooler. So they decide to just roll with it.

Damian shows up and tries to hunt down Tim’s early photos of Batman. Tim and Jason get really into making it look like he just keeps missing it. Barbara knew about all of this the entire time but no one asked her so she didn’t bother to fill them in.

Everyone else that joins the family after that point and hears the story of Jason and Tim supposedly meeting while Jason was Robin has the exact same response: “Oh, ‘cause Batman’s a furry. Right.”

#and that’s how jason and tim bonded through misunderstandings and calling batman a furry #something dick unknowingly started #bruce is so done #jason todd #bruce wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #batman #batfam #batkids #what do you mean dc doesn’t stand for disregard canon

[wondersinwaynemanor]

Red Hood and Red Robin greeting each other seriously during patrol so that RR can give the coordinates of a homeless child somewhere in Crime Alley. as if they weren't talking about explosives the other night and Jason didn't teach Tim to bake the coffee cupcakes he loves so much.

Later in a few

Red Hood, crushes the bags of stimulants on his hand and throws them on the sewers: Get a fucking new hobby. These things are disgusting.

Goon, runs: Fuck you, Hood!

Red Hood, sighs: What an idiot- The fuck. Where's my other gu-

Red Hood sighs again.

Red Hood, speaks to the rest of the family through the comms before chasing the goon: The kid's got my weapon again.

Nightwing: Robin, what -

Robin: Negative. It's not me.

Batman, pinches the bridge of his nose as he sits on a gargoyle somewhere in Gotham and thinks, "Here we go again."

Somewhere at a rooftop in Metropolis

Kon: Um Tim, I know you have plans of destruction, but-

Tim puts the weapon at the back of his suit. and Kon wonders how do the Bats even have places for weapons on their suits?

Tim: Nah, this is a comeback for him stealing one of the cupcakes you like at my apartment.

Kon: I already told you I'm over it!

Red Hood, hears the conversation through the comms and screams: Like the boy said, he's over it! Give that back to me!

#hood has to be more aware of his environment #esp when dealing with his brothers #i can see them doing this #bruce is so done #batfamily incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #dc incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #batfamily #batkids #batman #red hood #red robin #nightwing #robin #jason todd #tim drake #timkon mention #tw gun #tw stimulants mentioned #dc

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 102

 Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. In for ten seconds, out for eight. Alright. Okay. “Let me get this straight,” he didn’t motion to the three teens- or not teens even if two apparently looked like they were- but it was a close thing. “You-” 

 Phantom perked up, white hair flickering with what he was pretty sure were stars as they turned away from the window looking out into space. “-are two years old.” The fae-esque being who looked more like a fourteen year old gave a half-distracted nod. Which, for a toddler, they were paying attention pretty well. 

 “You-” Klarion looked up from where he was fiddling with the cuffs that had been on him, cat sprawled on his shoulder now that it was out of the carrier. “-are six?” Another distracted nod, the apparently-child seemingly enamored with the sounds the cuffs made when they clinked together. 

  “And you-” He turned towards Marvel, who shrank back before seemingly steeling themself. “-are in fact ten.” The… well they had thought demigod but apparently all three were some sort of realms-being, which had apparently made Constantine pale and start cursing before stomping out of the Watchtower. Another nod and shaky thumbs up. 

 Alright. Okay. They had in fact let a ten-year old join the league, which wouldn’t have been so bad if they had known. Especially the fact that apparently Marvel was only half-human, which suddenly explained so much about how he didn’t know so many things about a human life. Which-

 “You,” he turned towards Phantom again to make sure he was listening before returning his attention to Marvel. “And you have both lived at least a year in the human realm with human companions, but your-” He turned his gaze towards the ravenette in the center. The six year old apparently. “-experience with the human realm is literally just with the Light.” 

 Yet another distracted nod. Okay. Bruce was tempted to scream in a room for the entire situation that had cropped up from the single action of taking Klarion’s familiar and then the boy himself into custody. Then again, it was honestly a much better thing they had apparently caught this. 

 “Alright,” he sighed, suddenly feeling incredibly exhausted. “To make sure I have all of this correct-” Because it was already a shitshow and the amount of shouting had absolutely spooked the child. To the point he’d- according to Marvel- made what was apparently some sort of very distressed noise that had made both him and Phantom running. Or rather flying and portaling. 

 “-in the realms, people there make friends through fighting,” Bruce pauses to make sure he got that part correct. The origin of this entire misunderstanding with the chaos-lord. Lordling? 

 All three nodded, Klarion losing interest in the cuffs and starting to pet his cat. Familiar. Everyone had referred to it as a familiar and Marvel had appeared utterly horrified that they had taken said familiar away. Somehow he was the one the trio were currently trusting and weren’t doing the same towards any of the other league members. 

 “And you have been trying to make friends with the Jr team, which they have been taking as an attack due to this miscommunication.” Honestly they should have gotten more information, though he couldn’t exactly blame any of the teens, what with everything they were currently dealing with. 

 “... is there any sort of guardian or something you might have, that can be contacted? Or anyone that could help prevent a situation like this from happening again?” All three avoided his eyes, suddenly finding things like the table and walls very interesting. 

 Oh. Hm. This could be a problem.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #Bruce is so done #Danny: I would have a guardian but the observants locked him up in his clocktower 'cause he used to date the king #Marvel: Does Tawny count?? Like he's a tiger but he also talks and is sapient... #Klarion: Mother Chaos is busy so dropped me off in this world to play #Bruce: Oh no #Bruce already filling out temporary custody papers: Oh No #Bruce: Do any of you know how to do human things #Danny: Oh my human caretakers were mad scientists- #Bruce: OH NO #Marvel: Oh when I'm smaller the street kids help me out #Bruce grabbing a blanket: OH NO #Klarion: I am doing good at being human a completely normal thing to want a good grade in #Bruce already bundling them up: OH NO #They all have familiars lmao #Klarion has Teekl the cat #Danny has Cujo the dog #Billy has Tawny the tiger #JL in the other room having a breakdown or five #Why yes they were fighting a literal child #And yes apparently they did let in another child and literal toddler #Danny: Hold on can I at least get my sister before we go anywhere #Bruce: Hnnnn #His kids are going to laugh at him for bringing home 4 kids

[dragonpyre]

Honestly, gotta respect that out of all the bats, literally Jason and Cass are the only ones who don’t have a civilian-sona. They don’t do shit as their legal identities (assuming Jason even has one). They’re job is to look pretty and that’s it.

#Jason has never done his taxes cuz legally he makes less than the minimum required #Cass just gets money from Bruce so she can keep doing Cass things and fight crime #they’re the trophie children of the family #look pretty and do crime #that’s it #dc #batfamily #batfam #Batman #dc comics #Jason Todd #cassandra cain #red hood #black bat #orphan dc #batgirl

[luckyfox3000]

DC X DP PROMT #16

Well hello there my beloved internet strangers! New promt!

Bruce needed a drink. Several bottles worth in fact. Maybe he should call Harley. Have a night out, actually listen to his college friend and let loose.

Or. Or he could deal with the issue at hand. His apparent sort-of-uncle-but-not-really.

Adopted into the wayne family at the age of 11, Danny Fenton soon became Danny Wayne, brother of Thomas Wayne.

Not much was heard about this Wayne after the adoption, and not many cared. Until now.

Bruce had recently received a letter from his lawyer that they found an additional peice to his father's will, hidden in another vault.

Danny Wayne was to be found and given the list of non-descript items. Within the letter that was found there was a single address written, labeled to belong to one Danny Wayne.

...

That's it, Bruce was calling Harley. He'd leave it to Alfred to inform the kids about their sort-of-uncle-but-not-really.

Feel free to add on or use!

#dc x dp #lucky_fox #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc #dc x dp crossover #batfam #Wayne family secrets #Immortal Danny #danny fenton is a little shit #Bruce really needs that drink #Harley's pouring him bottles while painting his nails #Bruce is so done with this shit

[cardinalcheerio]

Tim doing something tim esque (fucking idiotic at best)

Tim: I'm thinking outside of the box!

Bruce: OUTSIDE THE BOX OF SANITY?!?

#batfam headcanons #bat family #batfam #batfamily #jason todd #bat brothers #dick grayson #red hood #tim drake #incorrect batfamily #tim needs sleep #timkon #timber #bruce is so done with this #bruce wayne #batman the animated series #batman #batboys #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect tim drake #incorrect red robin #red robin #yummmmm #stole this from a teacher

[is-not-a-bell]

Ghost blobs lead someone to Danny (Part 2)

When Tim entered the Batcave in the morning he didn't know what to expect. Alfred had mentioned that Bruce barely left the cave after coming home later than everyone else. But weirdly he didn't sound upset about it.

He wasn't expecting a loud chirp. Was this a weird new security measure? A prank? A flash of green above him flew away toward the batcomputer. He quickly ran over calling out. "Bruce?"

Tim stared at the bat computer. Bruce was working on... something but what the heck were the green blobs floating around him. Were they humming? "Hey Bruce? Are you aware of the blobs?" "Yes, they came with a victim I found last night." "Last night? They're here?" "Due to their appearance and the nature of their injuries. I assumed it would be safest to treat him here."

Tim looked at the monitor containing a report on the victim. Found in an abandoned warehouse with severe injuries along with 'blob ghosts' and the victim claiming to be a ghost. The victim or Danny didn't have any vital signs but was still conscious.

Danny's claim of being bad at being a ghost was explained when the boy transformed into a living breathing human with vital signs. Sewing the wounds were difficult because not five minutes later the stitches were dissolved. Not even the sutures meant for Superman lasted. That's when the blob ghosts did something to the sutures. They gave off a faint green glow, but they didn't dissolve like the rest of the stitches so they had to resolve to using them for the rest of the injuries.

Last part of the report was far more clinical then the rest. Which was cataloging the injuries. At first it was thought to be from an autoposy, but... There are clear signs of struggle, Danny was obviously strapped down with something that had burned his skin. He was vivisected.

Tim stopped reading it and looked away, some of the blobs turned their attention to him. The humming was louder now, it was rather soothing to hear. One floated closer to Him. He cautiously reached out to it and brushed it gently on its head.

The blob liked it apparently and leaned into his hand. The others seemed to take this as an invitation and swarmed Tim. "Uh Bruce!" "Oh that's normal. They'll calm down... eventually." The man spoke matter of factly and he could just barely see a smile creeping on to the man's face.

Traitor

A few of the blobs were grabbing his sleeve and tugging. They barely had any strength. If this was how much they bite, Tim could see why Bruce allowed the creatures into the cave. And it seemed they were leading him somewhere. Just like in Bruce's report, Tim glanced at the man once before following the ghost blobs.

They arrived in the medbay, where Danny was left in one of the more private rooms meant for long term recovery. Tim heard the same chirp from before. But this time there was a responding one. So it was a sort of alarm then, one to warn of an intruder and the responding one must be to say he wasn't a threat.

The new blobs greeted him like the ones before. But they did get out of his face to let him see Danny. The boy was incredibly pale and still. Tim thought he could be dead if it wasn't for the slow rise and fall of his chest.

His heart rate did not improve much and his body temp was still worryingly low. Tim hoped that it was normal for Danny. Tim was hoping to get some case work done before going to his office, but the blobs seemed content to have Tim there. Tim does have a laptop, so he could call Tam saying he's taking slow day. It would probably be for the best if someone was with Danny when he wakes up.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #Tim passed the vibe check #So he gets to meet their boy #Tim is wondering if Danny has blue eyes because if he does Bruce is never going to hear the end of it #Tim doesn't get much work done because the blobs are like cats that walk in front of you screen

[ambriel-angstwitch]

Jason: Rules are made to be broken.

Bruce: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Stephanie: Uh, piñatas.

Duke: Glow sticks.

Tim: Karate boards.

Dick: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Damian: Rules.

Bruce:

#bruce wayne #jason todd #batfamily #batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #stephanie brown #duke thomas #dc tim drake #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #red hood #batman #dc spoiler #signal dc #red robin #nightwing #robin #robin dc #dc robin #damian al ghul #bruce is so done

[frownyalfred]

Batfamily fics need to start including all the times the Batkids would absolutely bust their teeth on something.

Goon hit you wrong? Cracked tooth. Face planted on that last flip? That’s a knocked out tooth for sure. One bad kick across the face during a spar and you’re spitting blood on the mats with your front teeth shoved the wrong direction back into your gums.

Bruce avoids this by having no real teeth. The Batkids learn about the benefits of mouth guards via trial and error.

#tw teeth stuff #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #late night thoughts #I still fondly think about that spn fic where deans necklace swung up #and chipped one of his teeth #that was so real #I’ve done that :/ #Tim getting his shit rocked and then reaching into his mouth to pull out his permanent retainer wire would be so badass tho

[spacedace]

DPxDC snippet/prompt:

-

“John.”

Zantanna’s voice had that cadence to it. Faintly strangled. Forcibly calm. Her rising blood pressure and rapidly approaching limit for his special brand of excitement evident in every single letter of his name.

Felt like old times.

“Z.” He said, smoke curling out of his mouth and billowing towards the dreary grey sky above. The one nice thing about Gotham, it had the same gloomy dark ambience of ol’ London town. “Long time no see. How’s show biz been treating you?”

He saw the faintest of twitches at the corner of her eye. Could almost hear her counting to ten in her head. He smiled at her winningly, leaning back against the damp bricks of the alleyway as he waited. More smoke drifted upward from beside him in time with a bored sigh. Patience was running out on all sides it seemed.

“That’s a child.”

“Sharp as ever.” He said, taking another drag. He nudged the child in question beside him gently with his elbow, glancing down with a sly grin. “See this is why the Justice League pay her the big bucks. Nothing gets past our Zantanna Zatara.”

He got a cloud of smoke blown directly in his face for that, little shit.

“John.”

“Z.”

“Why do you have a child? Why is the child smoking?”

“Long story.” He said with a wave of his hand.

“I learned it from watching him.” The kid said, with the same cadence as that old American commercial. All dramatic and overwrought emotion. The gremlin swooned against John's side in an imitation of collapse, hand holding the lit bifter coming up to their forhead to really sell the melodrama. He nudged his ghostly companion off, grinning at Zantanna’s slipping patience as he did.

“Don’t worry about it. Kid's fine.”

“A child wandering around with you in a dark ally in Gotham smoking cigarettes is fine?”

“I mean, I’m already dead. And short. It’s not like smoking is gonna be able to do any worse to me.”

#dpxdc #dpxdc prompt #john constantine #zantanna zatara #dani phantom #danielle phantom #elle phantom #danny fenton #i wrote this with Elle in mind since I have an entire Paper Moon AU brewing in my head with her & John #but it absolutely could be danny instead #zantanna is already so done with all of this #she's having flashbacks of John smoking in the corner with baby Jason Todd when the kid was still Robin and Bruce losing his shit about it #she wants to say not her circus not her monkeys *so badly* #but very unfortunately John and his bullshit probably is her deranged little monkey in her very on fire circus #and now he's got a feral dead kid following him around this can't be good