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deepspacedukat · 2 years

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The Only One - Part 4: Bajor’s Hand And An Urge

Obviously, this fic is an AU of some description, so don’t expect it to adhere too strictly to the plots of the episodes mentioned. I only did spoiler warnings because there are certain elements of those episodes that are included in this chapter. ALSO, this chapter is somewhere around 9300 words long, so um...be prepared for a long read. Part 4 is cross-posted to AO3 here.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here. Part 5 here. Part 6 here.

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Weyoun 5 (ST:DS9) x Reader

[A/N: Spoilers for S3E1&2 “The Search” Parts 1&2, S3E21 “The Die Is Cast,” and S5E25 “In The Cards”. If you haven’t seen those episodes yet, you’ve been warned. Also there will be smut in future parts and there are some mentions of nsfw adjacent-ish things in this chapter, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Mostly feelings, angst, pining, Woun being an adorable Vorta muffin, instinct-driven pilgrimages, and some empathic bullshit that you’re just gonna have to deal with, because it makes me happy okay???? It’s my story, and it’ll give me pain and serotonin in turns if I want it to. *insert “It is law” gif here mentally cuz I’m too lazy to do it myself*

~*~

About two and a half months later, I overheard a conversation between Captain Sisko and Major Kira detailing the impending arrival of a Dominion ship for the purpose of conducting diplomatic talks with Kai Winn. As I stood at my station in Ops, I felt a little thrill of hope. The Dominion had more than one Vorta, of course, but I couldn’t help but hope that maybe Weyoun would be assigned to this mission. My console chirped at me, and I saw an incoming transmission.

“I’m receiving a subspace transmission from a Dominion ship for you, Captain,” I called, and at his request, I redirected it to his office. Before I could do so much as begin to eavesdrop, Major Kira ordered Dax to send the Dominion ship to docking bay three. It was mere moments before Captain Sisko re-emerged and walked over to my station.

“I’d like you to join me at the airlock,” he said, and at my confused sounding ‘yes, sir’ he smiled. “You seem to have more of a tolerance for the Vorta than I do. It might be best if you’re there to smooth things over.”

“Yes, sir,” I acknowledged, and ignoring the buzz of anticipation that went through me at the possibility, I went to the turbolift with my C.O. The walk to the docking bay was both too long and too short all at the same time. Clasping my hands behind my back to hide how they were shaking, I stood at attention at one side as we reached the airlock door. I felt as nervous as a cadet on their first assignment. The door to the airlock began to roll open and I took a deep breath.

He was here. Weyoun was back! As he stepped through the doorway and caught sight of me, his polite smile previously directed at the Captain morphed into a real one. Surprise and elation flitted across his features as I couldn’t stop a smile from splitting my lips wide. He was here, he was really here! Even the two Jem’Hadar guards looming behind him couldn’t stifle my joy.

“Captain, Lieutenant, it is such a pleasure to see you both again,” he gushed taking one of my hands in his and bringing it to his lips with a dramatic flourish and a wink. My cheeks burned knowing that my commanding officer had witnessed the gesture, but after he’d seen us holding hands in Quark’s, I doubted he was surprised.

“I wish I could say the same,” Captain Sisko said sardonically, and Weyoun let out a small laugh.

“How delightful! You feel comfortable enough around me to make jokes. I’m so pleased to see our relationship evolving beyond the stale adversarial stage,” he said facing the Captain with a slightly more diplomatic smile.

“No, it’s not. But before you twist that into a compliment, let me be blunt. I don’t like the Dominion, I don’t like what it stands for, and I don’t like you,” Sisko said, and Weyoun’s smile fell slowly away. “So, let’s dispense with the hollow pleasantries and stick to business.”

“I can’t tell you how much it pains me to hear you say that, Captain. You see, I really like Deep Space Nine, I like you, and I’m quite fond of the Lieutenant here,” he said with a small smile directed my way. “After this meeting with Kai Winn, I think you and I will be seeing a lot more of each other.”

“Lieutenant, escort Weyoun to the conference room to await the Kai’s arrival,” the Captain said, completely ignoring the Vorta’s statement as he gestured down the corridor.

“If you’ll come with me, sir,” I said giving Weyoun a warm smile as I saw his eyes flick over to meet mine. As the two of us began to make our way there, I took a chance and linked my arm with Weyoun’s. He looked at me with delighted surprise. “For what it’s worth, I’m quite fond of you, too.”

“Believe me, my dear, it means a great deal to me,” the Vorta said as he waved his Jem’Hadar guards back a few feet to give us some privacy to speak without being overheard. “You look lovely as usual. I trust you’ve been treated well?”

“Of course I have. Deep Space Nine is my home,” I intoned with a slight huff of laughter. “What about you? How’ve you been?”

“Oh, quite well, my dear, though I...” he drew us both to a stop in a quiet alcove of an empty corridor and turned to face me. He seemed almost nervous as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “I must admit, I’ve felt the lack of your presence keenly over the time I’ve been away.”

There was something just beneath the surface as he spoke – something was begging to burst forth from his lips, yet he held it back, whatever it was. Perhaps it was the same thing I didn’t dare admit to myself.

“Being around you...steadies me,” he admitted, and that statement felt a bit closer to the truth. We’d both been dancing around it for so long, that forbidden feeling that had been building since the day we met. I’d felt drawn to Weyoun from the moment I laid eyes on him. What remained to be seen was whether that was just the Founder’s genetic programming or if there really was something more.

“I know exactly what you mean,” I answered in a weighted sort of voice. He was adept at reading me. I could only hope he could see what it was that I was trying to communicate beyond these oh-so-inadequate words. With a soft smile, Weyoun brushed a few strands of hair behind my ear, letting the pads of his fingers skim over its outer edge and sending a light shiver through me as my cheeks heated from the attention. It was such a little thing, that touch, but it felt as though electricity had surged through me at every point of contact. At the awkward shuffling of Jem’Hadar feet behind us, I let out a slightly nervous laugh and averted my gaze from Weyoun’s. “We shouldn’t be late for your visit with the Kai...”

“No, indeed,” he agreed with a mischievous little gleam in his eye. Surely he had known what he was doing to me? I was convinced of his attempt to fluster me even as he linked our arms once again and we resumed our trek to the conference room that had been assigned for the diplomatic talks. “Are you familiar with the Kai?”

“We’ve met once or twice before. She’s...” I trailed off searching for the right way to describe her while still remaining polite. “She’s determined and...let’s just say she’s...not my favorite person to be around if you catch my drift.”

“Oh my. She must have done something truly odious to have garnered such distaste from you of all people,” Weyoun murmured sounding slightly amused. “Any pointers?”

“Now now, you know the Federation has a non-interference policy,” I said in a mock-chastising tone. “I can’t give you any advantages, much as I might dislike the Kai.”

“Ah, yes. The ‘Prime Directive.’ I’d nearly forgotten about that. My apologies, I didn’t mean to ask for more than you’re at liberty to say,” he said with an amused smile. “At least answer me this: will I need earplugs?”

“Undoubtedly,” I remarked, to which Weyoun winced. Much sooner than I’d have liked, we reached the doors to the conference room. I thought he’d leave me there, but I was wrong.

“Guard the doors,” the Vorta called to the two Jem’Hadar, who dutifully took up their places as I was pulled inside the room in question. As soon as the doors hissed closed, Weyoun brought both my hands to his lips and looked at me with an expression that was so openly joyful it brought a tear to my eye. “Forgive my presumptuous behavior, but I refuse to see the Kai without a moment alone with you. I truly did miss you, my dear.”

“I missed you, too. Perhaps when the first round of talks is done we can get together for dinner? After all, I did promise to teach you kal-toh,” I suggested, and Weyoun’s smile split even wide – a feat I hadn’t imagined possible.

“That sounds wonderful!” He exclaimed as the doors slid open to reveal the Kai. Seeing our position, she raised an eyebrow and gave me a blatantly false smile, even as Weyoun kept talking. “As soon as we conclude for the night, I’ll come to your quarters.”

I was torn between happiness at getting to see more of the Vorta and mortified at what Kai Winn must think given her lack of context. On the one hand, she might see this as sleeping with the enemy, but on the other, I couldn’t quite see why it should even matter in the first place. So what if a Bajoran spiritual leader read further into a conversation than she should? I knew the truth.

“Goodness, child. You keep some...exotic company,” she said in her usual poisonously, falsely pleasant tone. She reminded me of a passive-aggressive nun for what was definitely not the first time. “You may leave now.”

The annoyance that flitted over Weyoun’s features was quickly masked by a too-polite-to-be-real smile. I gave him a small nod and made my way to the door.

“Aren’t you forgetting something, child?” I paused at the sound of Winn’s voice and turned slightly toward her with a curious raise of an eyebrow. “You seem to have mislaid your loyalty and self-respect.”

Not wanting to create a diplomatic incident, I laughed like she’d made a mildly-amusing joke.

“Very good, Your Imminence. You had me going for a moment,” I said before exiting the room with my head held high. For a split second, I wondered how out-of-commission I’d be if I were ever to tell Kai Winn what I actually thought of her. No, she wasn’t worth the trouble I’d be in. I could only hope I’d be able to avoid her for the remainder of her stay on the station.

Several hours later when I covered a sick officer’s shift, I could have cried. Reluctantly, I’d made sure to send a note to Weyoun to let him know I couldn’t make our dinner engagement, but it pained me to have to cancel our plans. Of all the days for somebody to catch the Thelusian flu, it just had to be when Weyoun was finally back on the station, didn’t it? If I tapped away at my console in Ops a little more vigorously than was required, surely that wasn’t my fault. First Kai Winn’s remarks, and now this emergency late shift. Anyone would be frustrated in my position...right?

“Everything alright, Lieutenant?” O’Brien called with an amused, pointed glance between my console and myself.

“Yes, sir. I had a conversation with Kai Winn earlier, that’s all.” I may have conveniently left out the bit about Weyoun and dinner, but he didn’t need to know about that. A bark of sympathetic laughter came from the Chief Engineer as he moved toward a panel he needed to service.

“Ah, lemme guess: she decided something yeh said or did was fer the common folk and turned her nose up, right?” At my nod of confirmation, he shook his head. “Don’t let it get teh yeh. She’d judge even a Vedek as pond scum if it suited her fancy. She’s not worth yer energy. She’ll come off her high horse eventually.”

“Thanks, Chief. I’ll keep that in mind,” I replied with a smile. The jovial Irishman always did know what to say to cheer me up. We’d been working for barely a few minutes more when the lift arrived carrying Odo, who was holding a small bouquet of purple and white flowers arranged in a blue vase. As I watched curiously, Odo strode right over to my station looking slightly...well, if he was human I’d say he looked constipated.

“Lieutenant, I just caught one of the Jem’Hadar trying to access the lift to Ops. He told me he was ordered by Weyoun to bring these to you,” the Changeling said as he set the vase on the console in front of me and handed me a PADD. “I took the liberty of conducting a few scans to make sure the flowers weren’t harmful to humanoids, but...I think we both know the Vorta wouldn’t harm you any more than he would me.”

Curiously, I opened the note on the data PADD.

“My Dear Lieutenant - I’m sorry to hear about your extended shift, but perhaps you’d be open to meeting me for breakfast instead? I’d be delighted to be your host for a change. Should you decide to accept, I’ll have one of my Jem’Hadar waiting to escort you to our ship at 0900. In the meantime, I hope this floral arrangement will brighten the mood of your station while you work, and later, your quarters. I hope to see you in the morning. - Weyoun”

A small smile wound across my mouth at the Vorta’s note, and I absentmindedly thanked Odo for bringing the flowers and note. With a polite nod, the Changeling made his way back to the lift.

“Weyoun sent that to you?” The Chief asked as he made his way over to my station. “Looks like he asked Garak for some advice. That’s the same arrangement I gave to Keiko a couple of weeks before she went to Bajor for her ecological study.”

The thought that he’d cared enough to seek advice from the tailor made something in me go all mushy. After all, I was the one who canceled on him. He didn’t need to go to all this trouble just to make me smile. And yet...he had.

I decided right then and there that I’d make it to breakfast with him if it was the last thing I did.

True to Weyoun’s word, there was a Jem’Hadar soldier waiting stalwartly outside the door to my quarters at a few minutes to nine in the morning.

“I am First, Founder. Come with me,” he said giving me a respectful nod of his head. I joined him with a quiet ‘thank you’ and we made our way to the docking ring. “Did your delivery from the Vorta arrive safely?”

“Yes, it did. Thank you. I wasn’t told who it was that tried to deliver it to me, but please pass on my gratitude to whichever of your men was kind enough to make the attempt,” I said with a smile, but the man remained as stoic as ever.

“Kindness had nothing to do with it. Obedience brings victory,” he intoned. “And victory is life.”

He reminded me so strongly of Omet’iklan that I felt a small pulse of protectiveness over Weyoun as he spoke. If this First was planning to do what Omet’iklan had done, I wasn’t about to let it happen without a fight. As the airlock doors slid open, the Jem’Hadar led me through the ship to a closed door. Pressing the chime, the soldier took his place guarding the hall.

Almost as soon as the chime ended, the door slid open to reveal Weyoun looking anxious. His lips broke into a wide, surprised smile as soon as he recognized me.

“Good morning, my dear! I thought for a moment that you might not come,” he said sounding a bit sheepish. “Come in, come in!”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t jump at the chance to see you again?” I asked with a playful smile as I stepped into the room. Allowing my eyes to travel the space, I saw that it was all rather spartan. I supposed that was only natural given who Weyoun worked for. It wouldn’t be very on par for the Founders to allow their minions any luxuries. These were clearly his quarters, though. I could see a bed through a small doorway to the side of the space, and for a moment, I allowed myself to indulge in imagining what it would be like to wake up in bed surrounded by the Vorta’s scent...

“Is everything alright, Lieutenant?” The question from my side brought me out of my thoughts and back to reality. Now I just had to make sure he didn’t find out what I’d just been imagining.

“Yes. Yeah, everything is fine. Your quarters are lovely,” I answered, and the Vorta gave me a rather knowing smile.

“Thank you, my dear, but as I’m sure you’ve noticed, there aren’t any personal items. Your space is much more welcoming, if I may be so bold,” Weyoun said offering me his hand. Without so much as a thought, I laid my own in his gasp, barely blinking as he drew me closer to him. “It’s such a pleasure to have you here this morning. You were entirely correct about Kai Winn, by the way. By the time we finished last night all I could think of was...”

He trailed off with a nervous laugh, and I looked at him curiously.

“All you could think of was...?” I asked, quietly trying to encourage him to continue. Eventually, he did in a low, hesitant voice as he refused to meet my gaze.

“All I could think of...was how much I wished I could be in your company instead. I wished so desperately that I could hear your laughter to wipe away the sound of her irritating voice,” he admitted softly before something more determined washed over his expression. “And I...well, I wasn’t exactly trying to despise her, but after her remarks to you I couldn’t help it.”

“Don’t worry about that. She’s never been the most polite person,” I said trying to soothe his ire. “You, however, are incredibly kind. The flowers you sent me are gorgeous. You really didn’t have to go to all that trouble.”

“‘Trouble’? Oh no, my dear, that was a pleasure,” Weyoun said before leading me to a small table. “But, that aside, do please catch me up. How’ve you been? I feel as though I’ve missed out on so much already, and I don’t want to waste another moment.”

“Only if you’ll do the same for me,” I bargained, and he acquiesced with a playful little smile. The next few hours were spent swapping stories between the two of us. There was always the hidden danger that we could influence each other or give away diplomatic secrets, but there was an unspoken agreement that floated between us. Neither of us asked questions beyond the personal. It was no secret that he was a Dominion Ambassador, just as it was public knowledge that I was a Starfleet officer. Neither of us insulted the other by questioning our respective loyalties to our own sides, for which I was immensely grateful.

By the time Weyoun needed to make his way to the conference room once more, his fingers had been laced firmly with mine for the better part of an hour with no sign of separation imminent. Before I realized what was happening, I found myself escorting him to his destination, walking hand-in-hand with him through the various station corridors while we continued our conversation. Things were lighter now - easier, somehow - a fact that surprised me, as there had never been any tension between us to start with. At least, none of the unpleasant sort. And yet...it felt as though some invisible weight had been lifted, giving way for more natural interactions. Not that our interactions were unnatural or forced before – Weyoun had always made me feel extremely comfortable in conversation. Now, though, talking with him felt as easy as breathing. Inhale, exhale...question, answer.

As the door to the conference room slid open to reveal the already-seated Kai, Weyoun turned to me and brought my hands to his lips with a glint of defiance flashing in his eyes.

“Thank you for joining me this morning. There is no greater pleasure in the galaxy than that of your company,” he said just loud enough that I was certain beyond the shadow of a doubt that Winn had heard him. Turning to face her with his hands still firmly holding mine, Weyoun fixed her with one of those piercing looks I’d become so accustomed to. “Doesn’t the Lieutenant look lovely, Your Imminence? And to think, I was the one she chose to spend her morning with.”

“She does, indeed.” The Kai answered, and I realized what the Vorta was doing. He was making this into a diplomatic issue. She could either agree with his assessment or risk an incident between Bajor and the Dominion. “Though I must admit, I find myself rather confused, child. I was under the impression that the Federation was to remain neutral as this is a purely internal affair between Bajor and the Dominion.”

“Oh, we are. I was just having breakfast with an old friend,” I said squeezing Weyoun’s hands softly. “I should be going.”

“Of course, child. You may leave now,” the Kai said, and something akin to anger simmered in Weyoun’s countenance under just enough of a mask that she wouldn’t see. I knew him well enough to recognize it. Placing a hand gently on Weyoun’s chest, I murmured a quiet ‘thank you for breakfast’ before making my way out. I only hoped that Weyoun wouldn’t let her get under his skin – the opposite of what a good Federation officer should be thinking, but then...I wasn’t exactly the best example of a Federation officer.

After all, what good person ever harbored affection for the enemy?

Hours after the negotiations had resumed, I received a summons from Odo about a security matter, so I made my way through the hustle and bustle of the Promenade toward the Changeling’s office.

“Good afternoon, Constable. What was it you wanted to see me ab–” As I saw one of the displays on the wall near his desk, I froze as though I was a holoprogram that had been paused. On the monitor was a map of some sort of nebula, but not one that I’d seen before. My breath caught in my throat and I felt as though I was being pulled toward the monitor like a puppet on a string. “What is that?”

“Hm? Oh, that is the Omarion Nebula,” Odo answered in his usual gruff tone, but his chair swiveled quickly toward me when he noticed that all I could seem to do was stare at the computer’s display, motionless and silent as if transfixed. “Lieutenant...what are you feeling right now?”

“I...I don’t know. This...it’s strange. It’s as if...as if I...Odo, can you take me there?” I asked breathlessly, desperately, even though I had no idea why I’d even want to go there in the first place. It was as though some long-buried instinct was beginning to scratch away at my will and scream at me to begin the journey without delay. My life seemingly depended on it - of course in reality it didn’t, so why did I feel that way? This was just a star chart. Why would an image on a monitor make me feel an almost crippling urge to go to...wherever the hell the Omarion Nebula was?

“You feel it calling to you, don’t you?” He asked quietly, and without conscious thought, I nodded my head unable to tear my eyes away from the screen. “I was afraid you’d say that. Come with me, Lieutenant.”

“Are you taking me to the nebula?” I asked feeling hope bubbling up in my chest as Odo’s hand took up residence on my back and he guided me out of his office toward a turbolift.

“Perhaps later. First, we need to see Captain Sisko. Urgently,” he said before calling for the lift to take us to Ops.

“No, Odo, you don’t understand. I need to go to the Omarion Nebula. Now, not later,” I said, and he turned me gently to face him with his hands grasping my shoulders.

“I understand much better than you think. Trust me like you always do, Lieutenant. I promise I’ll explain everything when we get to the Captain’s office,” he murmured looking into my eyes. Despite the growing, overpowering feeling that I needed to leave now - now, nownow, right now, not later, NOW - I took a slow, steadying breath and nodded my head. “Everything will be alright.”

“I’ve been what?” I asked feeling stunned and violated as indignance flooded my voice. Even as my arms wrapped protectively around my middle, Odo placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“They did it to me too. All Changeling offspring are programmed with an instinct to return home. Mine was triggered when we were on the Defiant years ago. I caught a glimpse of the Omarion Nebula on a computer layout, as you just did, and the instinct to return home overruled any of my other thoughts and feelings. It even beat out my sense of duty,” Odo explained, and that certainly made sense. This...urge felt as though it was simply scraping away my free will, extracting it and replacing it with the almost frantic need to get in a runabout and go. “If the information I gathered from the Female Changeling during my own visit is anything to go by, then the only way to stop this sort of homing beacon is to return to the Changelings’ home planet.”

“She can’t do that. The Jem’Hadar would never allow her into Dominion territory. No Federation ship, shuttle, or runabout would survive the trip, especially after the incident involving the Tal Shiar and Tain,” the Captain stated, and I had a thought - a crazy thought, but one that just might work.

“Sir, what about Weyoun? He’s on the station conducting negotiations with Kai Winn. He views me as the child of his gods, so maybe I could convince him to take me there. After all, he came in a Dominion vessel,” I suggested, and the Captain raised an eyebrow.

“And what makes you think he wouldn’t betray you?”

“Captain, he has made it clear to me that he would take orders from me just as he would from any of the other Changelings. He wouldn’t betray me - that would be like betraying one of his gods.” I hated my reasoning, but I knew it was correct. Odo made a grunt of agreement next to me.

“She’s right. I’ve seen the way he treats her. He’ll help if she asks him to,” Odo said, and the Captain sighed heavily before tapping his combadge.

“Sisko to Weyoun,” he called, and when the Vorta answered he hesitated only a moment before giving his order. “I need you in my office. Immediately.”

“Of course, Captain. I’m on my way now,” he answered, and I took a shaky, nervous breath as I met the Captain’s eyes.

“Sir, I-I’m sorry. I know this isn’t exactly convenient–” I started, but he held up a hand to silence me.

“This situation isn’t your fault. You never asked for the Founders to program you. My only concern right now is for the safety and well-being of the officers under my command, and that includes you, Lieutenant,” he said giving me a small, fatherly smile. We hadn’t been waiting for long when the office door slid open with a hiss. I already felt ashamed that I’d caused such a dilemma that I couldn’t bring myself to face Weyoun and his gaze that always seemed to know too much about how I was feeling.

“Are you well, Lieutenant?” The Vorta asked standing beside the chair I was seated in. Hesitantly, I glanced up only to find Weyoun’s eyes already fixed on me and an expression of concern woven across his features. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I looked quickly away, gathering my thoughts and trying to figure out how to approach the question I needed to ask. One of Weyoun’s hands rested carefully on my shoulder, and my mind jolted into clarity for a moment.

That was odd. At least I could think a little more coherently for the time being.

“I need your help, Weyoun,” I answered quietly, and as I looked back up at him, he gave me a reassuring smile.

“You need only name how I may assist you, and I will make it happen,” he answered, and Odo spoke up, sparing me the embarrassment of explaining the situation myself.

“I’ll be brief. The Founders encode their offspring with a sort of homing instinct. Mine was triggered years ago, and until a few minutes ago, I wasn’t sure if the Lieutenant would have the same reaction. She is half-human, after all,” Odo said gruffly. “In short, she does and the only way to silence it is to bring her to the Founders’ home planet. We can’t bring her there in any of our Federation vessels.”

“I thought that...maybe you could help,” I muttered looking up at him. “I know you have your orders and that you need to conduct your negotiations with Kai Winn, but...you came here in a Dominion ship...”

Weyoun smiled widely as he caught my meaning.

“You wish me to bring you home?” He asked, and I placed my hand over his where it still rested on my shoulder.

“Sort of? I need to get there to shut off this homing instinct, but I also need to come back here to Deep Space Nine,” I clarified, and Weyoun positively glowed despite my added condition.

“Your wish is my command! I’ll have my ship prepared immediately. Negotiations with the Kai are paused due to her need to consult with the Bajoran Ministers, so we’ll have ample time for the trip,” he said, and the Captain cleared his throat.

“I want your word that you will conduct my officer there and back again safely,” Sisko stated in a tone that brooked no argument.

“You have my word, Captain. I would never allow any harm to come to her,” Weyoun promised, but that wasn’t quite good enough for the Captain who stood and moved directly in front of the Vorta.

“If she ordered you to bring her back to Deep Space Nine without having reached the planet, would you do it?” He pressed, and Weyoun looked at him quizzically.

“Of course. She is a Founder, even if only by half. I’m sworn to obey the Founders in all things. She will be in command of the ship, not I,” he clarified, and I felt my eyes widen. “Any orders she gives will be carried out, you have my word.”

“They’d better be,” Odo growled. “If you or any of your men let her get hurt, I promise that you’ll wish you’d never lived to be cloned.”

Weyoun gave a deferential half-bow to the Security Chief.

“She will have safe passage and be treated as nothing less than royalty. I swear on my life she will not be harmed,” he said before turning to me. “I’ll have my men prepare the ship. We should be ready for departure in less than an hour. We’ll be away from the station for a few days, so if there’s anything you need to pack, I’d suggest you do so, my dear.”

“I will. Thank you,” I answered feeling somewhere between anxious, excited, giddy, and absolutely terrified. As soon as his hand left my shoulder, my thoughts began to race again - that was something I’d definitely have to look into while we were traveling. Odo walked up to me and looked into my eyes when the Vorta had left.

“Be careful, Lieutenant. Keep our training in mind,” he ordered, and I gave him a quick ‘yes, sir’ before thanking the Captain and leaving his office to get packed. What the hell was a person supposed to pack for an instinct-driven trip into a hostile part of the galaxy, anyway?

As I stepped through the airlock with a small bag slung across my shoulder, Weyoun was there to meet me.

“Welcome aboard, my dear,” he said with a wide smile. He gestured to one of the Jem’Hadar. “Take the Founder’s bag to her quarters.”

In the interval since we’d last spoken, I felt just that much closer to insanity. What the hell sort of sadistic homing urge was this? I felt as though I could barely think beyond the need to get to the nebula. I barely heard any of the introductions to the Jem’Hadar soldiers despite my attempts to focus. Weyoun escorted me to the bridge of the ship where the Jem’Hadar stood to attention when they saw me - as any Starfleet crew would if an Admiral were to come aboard. I supposed I would have to go along with this if I was going to survive the journey. Giving the order to depart the station, I felt a brief surge of what it must be like for Captain Sisko to be in command of the Defiant. Did he feel the same anticipation at the start of a journey, or was that something else unique to this Founders-be-damned homing instinct?

After passing through the wormhole without incident and ordering the course to the Omarion Nebula, I stayed at my post in the Captain’s chair for several hours, trying to keep my mind occupied with the task at hand: reaching the nebula and commanding a starship for the first time. All things considered, I really should have been more nervous than I was. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that all I could seem to focus on was reaching the Changelings’ planet.

Several hours into the trip, Weyoun cleared his throat beside me.

“Lieutenant, may I have a word in private?” He asked, and I agreed readily.

“You have the bridge, First,” I ordered, and at the soldier’s salute, I walked with Weyoun into the Dominion ship’s equivalent of a Captain’s ready room. As soon as the doors hissed closed, Weyoun took hold of my hands. My breath shuddered a bit at the clarity that washed over me when his skin made contact with mine. There had to be some sort of biological connection that the Changelings encoded between themselves and the Vorta that was making me react this way.

Concern flowed over me and through me – at me? – and I saw my own confusion mirrored in Weyoun’s eyes.

“Did you feel that?” He asked quietly, and I nodded my head hesitantly. “Perhaps the genetic coding that causes this homing instinct is reacting differently because of your human half. Can you...feel others as well?”

“No...No, just you,” I answered trying to gather my fragmented thoughts. “There’s something else as well. When...Each time that you are in physical contact with me, my mind goes quiet.”

Weyoun tilted his head in confusion, and I tried to explain the best that I could.

“It feels as though my brain is full of subspace interference and you cut through it all. For some reason, you’re helping me focus,” I murmured as my cheeks heated in embarrassment. Surely now he would think I was insane if he hadn’t before.

“How intriguing,” he breathed, and I felt several positive emotions swirling together from him. “This must be some sort of imprinting mechanism. Perhaps the Founders realized that their offspring might need some assistance. A connection like this would certainly help any Vorta in their company understand their needs more clearly.”

Odo hadn’t mentioned any of this from his own trip, but then, he hadn’t been anywhere near a Vorta at the time. Oh shit, how much could Weyoun feel from me, if I could sense his emotions?

I had my answer a mere moment later when Weyoun drew me into his arms and kissed my forehead so fucking gently.

“You have nothing to fear. You’re safe with me.” His promise struck a chord, and I found myself nodding my head silently in his embrace. “It has been a long day. Perhaps I should escort you to your quarters so you can rest?”

That...actually sounded heavenly. I agreed quietly, and with Weyoun’s hand on my lower back, we exited the ready room and gave a few final orders to the Jem’Hadar before heading to the turbolift. Within moments we were arriving outside a set of quarters that I noted was directly next door to the ones Weyoun occupied. When the Vorta made to leave me in peace, I was ashamed at how much anxiety washed over me. I couldn’t stop myself from clasping his hands in mine.

“W-Would...? I mean, you’re probably busy or have better things to do, but...could...you maybe stay? Just for a bit?” I hated how shaky my voice was, but to my surprise, Weyoun just smiled, opened the door to my quarters, and walked inside with me as if I hadn’t just sounded completely pathetic. If he still viewed me as the child of his gods, there was no doubt in my mind that he was seeing more clearly how limited of a being I was for the supposed half-deity he thought I was.

Without a word spoken between the two of us, we walked to the bedroom and laid down together, our shoes having been discarded somewhere between the door and the bed. Weyoun’s asymmetrical vest had also been removed revealing the soft shirt he wore beneath it, and as I took my place in bed beside him, I hesitated. I’d thought about falling asleep in his arms so many times, but was that something he’d be comfortable with? Sensing my reluctance, the Vorta gave me a warm smile and opened his arms.

“It’s alright,” he murmured gently. “I don’t bite, I promise.”

An image I really should not have thought about went through my mind of his teeth worrying a sensitive spot on my neck. I shook it away and carefully laid down in his arms.

“There we are,” he practically purred, and I felt a little shiver of delight run up my spine at the feeling of him surrounding me. A quiet hum came from my lips, and Weyoun’s lips pressed softly against my forehead. “I quite enjoy this as well. I must admit...I’ve imagined this before, but those thoughts pale in comparison to the real thing.”

I’d have to unpack that statement when I wasn’t being pulled slowly into unconsciousness by the steady sound of Weyoun’s heartbeat. Before I allowed myself to fall asleep, however, I nuzzled drowsily into the crook of the Vorta’s neck and pressed a slow, soft kiss into the spot just above his thrumming pulse.

“Thank you,” I breathed just millimeters away from his skin, but from the way his breath hitched, I knew he’d heard me.

The next morning, I was awakened by a summons from the Jem’Hadar First stating that we’d be arriving at the Changelings’ planet in a few minutes. As I blinked slowly awake and acknowledged the information, I was stunned to find that Weyoun was still in bed with me. I’d thought he’d have left not long after I fell asleep, but...he’d stayed. As he awakened as well, his eyes drifted to his arms to take in the sight of me where I lay. A soft smile played across his lips and mine, and after a moment’s pause we reluctantly got out of bed to get dressed.

The instant we reached the bridge, the Jem’Hadar reported that we were in orbit around the planet. Consulting a scan of the surface, I gave the coordinates for a beam in site.

“I shall accompany you to the surface,” Weyoun said placing a hand on my lower back as he guided me to the transporter room. As I gave the order to beam us down, it felt as though things were moving too quickly. There were so many questions running rampant through my mind, but as we re-materialized on the planet’s surface, I felt a breath escape me that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. The insanity-inducing itch in my brain faded, leaving me with curiosity and a little apprehension.

Standing on a rock formation in the planet’s dim light, Weyoun and I quietly surveyed our surroundings. There was a small landmass that we were standing on, but beyond that, there was only a vast, still-looking ocean. Something about it seemed...odd. What looked like a wave moved in slow motion before separating from the rest of the liquid and forming the shape of a woman on the edge of the shore.

She looked very similar to Odo as she glanced between myself and Weyoun.

“You have dared to bring a human to our world, Vorta?” She asked sounding sufficiently intimidating. Weyoun gave a bow and stammered out a response.

“Founder, she is not just a human. She is half-Changeling. She is Meris’s child,” he explained, but the Changeling didn’t seem impressed.

“Meris’s child? You thought it wise to bring the one who shouldn’t exist here?” Her words froze the blood in my veins. Through the connection that had been formed between Weyoun and me, I could feel fear more intense than he’d ever shown before - fear that spoke volumes about how the Changelings had treated him. “You will pay for your lack of judgment with your life.”

“No, he won’t,” I called moving in between Weyoun and the Changeling so she couldn’t get to him. “Weyoun brought me here because of a homing instinct that you or one of your people programmed me with. He has done nothing wrong, and you will not touch him.”

The Female Changeling tilted her head curiously at my show of protectiveness.

“You would risk your life...for a Vorta?” She sounded as though the mere idea was unthinkable to her.

“I would and I will a thousand times over if you continue to threaten his safety. From what I’ve heard, no Changeling has ever harmed another, but if you want to get to him, you’ll have to do a hell of a lot more than just harm me. Weyoun is under my protection,” I said as I put some of Odo’s training to use and shaped my forearms into sharp lengths that resembled swords. The Female Changeling continued to stare at me impassively for a moment before nodding her head.

“Very well. He will not be harmed.” The ocean behind her rippled, whether from discontent at her decision or agreement, I couldn’t quite tell.

“I want your word and the word of every Changeling here that Weyoun will not be punished for this now or ever. He was following orders - my orders. Given that I’m half-Changeling, he was sworn to obey even me in all things. He was only doing what you programmed him to do. I don’t want him punished for that whether I’m around to protect him or not. Is that understood?”

“I give you my word, as do all the other Changelings. As of this moment, he is forgiven,” I chafed at her choice of words, but at least the meaning was clear. “However, we want something in return.”

“And that is?”

“We desire your word that no matter the circumstance, you will never return to this planet once you have departed,” she intoned as if she was asking for something as simple as a replicated meal. I felt Weyoun’s hand rest gently on my shoulder.

“No! I’m not worth such a promise–” He began, but there was no changing my mind. This wasn’t even a choice. If a single promise protected Weyoun and kept me from having to interact with murderers, then I was happy to make it.

“You have my word,” I promised, and I heard the Vorta behind me draw a sharp intake of breath. I let my arms return to normal. “Before I leave, tell me one thing. Are you aware of how much damage you’ve caused?”

“‘Damage’? We’ve done nothing more than impose order where there was none, half-breed, but I wouldn’t expect you to understand. After all, you are the one tarnishing what our species stands for with your human DNA,” the Changeling said in an imperious tone. “You know, the Vorta was correct. He was not worth such a promise. Now leave us. Your homing instinct is sated and you’ve polluted our shores long enough as it is. Give our regards to Odo.”

Without another word, she turned and walked to the edge of the rock she’d been standing on before reverting to her liquid state to rejoin the vast ocean that was the Great Link. Quietly, I turned to face Weyoun who was wearing a stricken expression on his face. Activating his communication device, I spoke as steadily as I could manage.

“Two to beam up. Energize when ready.”

When we re-materialized on the transporter pad of the Dominion ship, I gave orders to set a course back toward the wormhole to the Alpha Quadrant, and escorted my very shaken Vorta companion back to the quarters we’d shared the night before. The stars outside the windows began to move and blur as we went to warp, but I paid no attention. Weyoun was my main focus. As soon as the doors slid closed behind us, he dropped to his knees in front of me and clutched at my legs as tears began cascading down his cheeks.

“I-I’m so sorry, Founder,” he stuttered in a voice heavy with emotion, and he looked up at me as if he truly was pleading with a god. “This is all my fault–”

I held his hands and dropped to my knees to pull him into my arms. The Changelings were evil. They’d caused so much death and destruction. They’d oppressed whole worlds and traumatized so many people in their quest for power - for order as the Female Changeling had said to me - including Weyoun. Weyoun, who was now beside himself, not because of something he’d done, but because of what the Changeling had implied about my choice.

“No, Weyoun, it’s not. You haven’t done anything wrong,” I promised, but the Vorta shook his head.

“It is! It is, if you hadn’t needed to protect me, you wouldn’t have been asked not to return! You’d still have your family,” he protested, but kissed his forehead tenderly and looked directly into his watery eyes.

“Weyoun, listen to me. You did everything I asked of you and more. You haven’t done anything wrong, I promise you. They would have asked me to leave whether you were there or not,” I said, and his hands clutched desperately at my thighs. “The Changeling was wrong. I would make that promise over and over again in a heartbeat if it meant your safety.”

“Why?” His question was so sudden and filled with stunned confusion.

“Can’t you tell?” I asked quietly, looking into his eyes. Something unspoken passed between us as those wide, violet irises cast gently, hesitantly over the most vulnerable parts of my soul. His eyes dropped to my mouth for a brief moment, and all at once my desire to close the gap between us as I’d imagined countless times was heightened - doubled, perhaps? In the back of my mind, it occurred to me that whatever the connection was that Changeling’s homing instinct had created between us hadn’t been broken, at least not completely. This wasn’t just me, not entirely anyway. Some slight amount of surprise must have registered on my face because Weyoun’s brow furrowed slightly.

“Is something wrong?” He asked nervously, and I shook my head.

“No, but I...I think I can still...feel you,” I murmured, and the Vorta looked startled at the prospect. His cheeks went a beautiful shade of lavender, and he lowered his eyes as if in shame.

“I-I sincerely apologize. If I’d known you could still...I-I mean I wouldn’t have–” he broke off abruptly when I reached for him and cupped his cheeks softly in my palms. The fear in his eyes when I finally coaxed him into looking at me again nearly broke my heart on the spot. His voice came out as a shaky whisper that could’ve been carried away by a light breeze. “I’m sorry. I-I’m so sorry.”

“Weyoun, you have no reason to apologize. If I can still feel you, then I assume you’re still able to feel me?” I asked quietly, and he nodded his head hesitantly.

“Y-Yes, but I swear to you, I’m not actively trying to pry. It’s none of my business what you feel. I could never be worthy of the knowledge,” he answered hurriedly as if I was angry with him – as if I ever could be. With a gentle smile, I let my thumbs skim over his cheeks.

“But you are,” I replied just as quickly in an attempt to dispel the Founder’s lies and conditioning. “Trust me, Weyoun.”

“I do–”

“Then reach out and feel what I’m feeling. Please,” I murmured bringing one of his hands so gently to my lips. At the brush of skin on skin, I felt a burst of pleasure from Weyoun and a hesitant desire for more. As my eyes met his once more, I saw - and felt - surprise wash over him the moment he took my advice and reached out through that odd connection we shared. I knew what he’d find. I may have tried to hide it from myself for a long while, but there was no use denying it when the person you’d harbored a secret affection for was literally sifting through your feelings as easily as picking through a salad. Heat rose to my cheeks even as I gave my companion a sheepish smile.

“You’re not angry with me...” he stated in a tone that all at once conveyed relief, confusion, and surprise. How could he imagine I’d be upset with him? He’d done so much for me and never asked anything in return. What reason would I possibly have for being angry? His voice was hushed when he continued. “But...But that’s impossible. You can’t seriously feel the same way I feel about you...can you?”

Not trusting my voice, I nodded my head and watched in astonishment as the last of his tears trickled down his cheek. Acting entirely on impulse now, I leaned in and delicately kissed it away, pulling a whimper from his chest as his hands came up and grasped my arms.

Precious, gentle man.

“Please...” The supplication tumbled from his lips laced with desperation, but I had to be sure. I had to be sure that what he was feeling wasn’t just a sympathetic reflection of what I was feeling. He deserved that much respect.

“Are you sure that this is what you want?” I asked looking into his eyes. Weyoun wetted his lips with a dart of his tongue and spoke through a shaky breath.

“Reach out and feel what I’m feeling, my dear. Please,” he begged using my own words from earlier. I did as he asked, and the wave of emotion that washed over me was overwhelming. So many feelings overlapped and melded into one another that my hands started trembling – lining every bit of it was sincerity.

And at the heart of it all was a love so powerful it took my breath away.

How was he holding so much inside of himself? I was acutely aware of the unadulterated wonder that was no doubt plastered on my face as he spoke once more.

“You see them now, don’t you? All of the things I don’t have the words for...” I did. The argument that this was all due to the genetic coding that the Founders had placed inside him was losing strength by the minute, but there was still a part of me that wondered...

But Weyoun seemed so certain about what he was feeling. He seemed sure that this was real, and yet...I didn’t want to be a regret. I’d have to approach this slowly. It was of paramount importance that I give him every chance to back out should he change his mind–

While those thoughts had been swirling around in my mind as a chaotic cloud of doubt and analysis, Weyoun, or I, or perhaps even both of us had moved closer as if pulled by a magnet. His breath was my breath was his breath until suddenly his lips brushed mine timidly, shattering any coherent thoughts left in my mind like glass over a concrete slab. Pressing my lips more solidly against his, the both of us melted – or did we combust? One of Weyoun’s hands slid to my waist while the other wound its way up into my hair. A quiet, desperate little whine came from between his lips – or had it come from me?

Locking lips with my Vorta on the floor of our quarters in the middle of the Gamma Quadrant certainly wasn’t where I’d seen this trip heading when we’d departed the station, but I wasn’t about to start complaining. ‘My Vorta’? When had I started thinking like that? At the feeling of his hands coaxing me ever closer and his tongue tracing the seam of my lips, I ceased thinking altogether.

All too soon, we were forced to break apart for air, and taking advantage of that, I stood and helped Weyoun up. At his slightly dazed, curious expression, I caught his hands in mine and led him into the bedroom.

“I think the Jem’Hadar can manage without us for a while, don’t you?” I asked coaxing him into sitting with me on the bed. We obviously needed to talk this through at least partially. This was a big shift that needed addressing. “Weyoun...I want to know what you want.”

“...Well, I’d like to kiss you again,” he said in the most innocently eager tone I’d heard since he asked me to teach him dabo. With an amused giggle, I clarified what I meant.

“You’ll be able to, I promise, but I mean what do you want to come of this...change between us?” I asked, and he hummed in comprehension.

“Ah, I see. No Weyoun since the original has been in a romantic relationship, so I’m afraid I have no more than his memories to guide me. As for personal desires, I’m quite open to wherever this takes us,” he said sounding more clear-headed than he had since before we beamed down to the planet. “I suppose whatever is the most natural progression in a situation like this is what I’d like, but only if you want that too.”

“Why don’t we take it slow and see where we end up?” I suggested, and the Vorta nodded his head in agreement. The rest of our journey was spent alternating between idle bits of conversation, enjoying our closeness, and reacquainting ourselves with each other’s lips.

Upon our arrival back at Deep Space Nine, Weyoun seemed much more like his normal self - with the added bonus of a new cuddly streak. He even escorted me back to my quarters via the Promenade while holding my hand. Those small gestures held a new meaning for us, and they were worth the scowl on the Kai’s face from her spot on the upper level. After a brief meeting between Weyoun and a scientist called Giger, the Vorta gave me a gentle parting kiss and made me promise to be safe until his return. Having successfully extracted the same promise from him, we parted ways once more – a practice that was becoming rather tiresome. If only he could come live on the station permanently. Then I could kiss away all his troubles.

#weyoun 5 #weyoun 5 x reader #weyoun x reader #deepspacedukat fic #emotions #pain #fluff #angst but then it's kinda better and fine #spoilers for In The Cards #spoilers for The Search Pts 1&2 #made up empathic/telepathic bullshit #this is my world and THOU SHALT SUFFER WITH ME PEASANTS #spoilers for The Die Is Cast #NOW KISS

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rileythelonelyalien · 1 year

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Not a RQ! Your Dottore fics give me actual life and I'm happy to admit that your Dot content was my favorite on Tumblr. Don't get me wrong I love Primetorre and all but the way you write his clones is just so adorable and makes me so happy! Practically free serotonin I'm not joking! Love your content!

A/N: Oh gosh it makes me so incredibly happy when I see these, I am so glad that my writing brings so much joy to people, and I am truly honored to know that my Dottore content is your favourite!! I truly was not expecting to receive so much positive attention to my work but I very much overjoyed to see that I make so many people's day with my writing :D

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nulltune · 2 years

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just casually coming here to say that you’re the brightest star and you bring so much joy and positivity here that i can only smile when i see you around lynn 🖤🖤🖤

GDKGHWKDJAJA???!?! ME RUSHING TO LIKE- SET UP THE TABLE OR STH... GREET U WITH SOME FANCY TEA N SNACKS..!!!!!!! OK BUT 🥺🥺🥺 aaaaa i woke up 2 this and i'm dashing around like a hyped hamster tHANK U SO MUCH JOO!!!!! OHHH IT MAKES ME RLLY HAPPY TO HEAR THATT 💖💖💘💞💞💕💗 IM GLAD!!!!! i'm simply just here gulping down my mutuals-love-juice tbh (andddd being my simp self <3) BUT YEAH TYSM!!! YOU'RE LIKE A WARM SUN TO ME THOOO AND AAAA LEMME JUST SCREAM ABT U FOR A MOMENT BC wow icb we spent like. a decent amount of time being mutuals but just 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ at each other sgfjfj wE WERE BOTH SHY I THINK! but i'm so glad we went past that stage bc u're fr so so sweet and i'm just 🥺❤️ i think i said it before but u give me sm serotonin!!!!!! literally thought u were So Kind and Sweet within the first 2 minutes of our convo and i just sob!!! SENDING U THE BIGGEST VIRTUAL HUG RN I APPRECIATE U SM SO WEHHH TYSM FOR THIS SUPER SWEET MESSAGE JOOO !!!!! PLS DO KEEP SMILING ITS WHAT U DESERVE AND ILYSM I SOB!!

#wolvensden #&&. saved #CLUTCHES MY HEART #SORRY IS I SOUND WACKO OR INCOMPREHENSIBLE AGFKSJF I FR JUST WOKE UP AND AM JUST????#FEELING SO SOFTTTT AAAA 🥺🥺🥺🥺#BUT TY AGAIN FOR SENDING THIS JOOOO UE UE !!!!

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cozytree · 3 years

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sometimes being rlly distracted is good bc i was literally crying uncontrolably n then i noticed it was raining n my little adhd goblin brain went "oh there must be so many snails and slugs looking for a mate now...... raining......... with their weirdly intricate reprodutive organs......... and on valentine's day too !! i bet having huge blue penises can be made romantic if ur a snail" n then laughed n forgot why i was crying

#nonbinary snails. they bring me so much joy. i think abt how all slugs n snails are both male & female n my brain produces serotonin #also. pictures of snails enterlaced w eachother w their translucent blue penises. it's so funny why is it like twice their size !!#i'm so sorry this is so random. i feel so weird for talking abt snail reproduction but it makes me so happy #ollie rambles #me ?? oversharing at midnight ?? more likely than u think ;-)

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quackiseok · 3 years

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— strawberry kisses

feral boys x gn! reader || headcanon

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing

summary : their reaction to you giving them a kiss on the cheek for the first time!

a/n : hi hi! this is my first fic, i hope you like it 🥺 and i'm so sorry if there's any mistake, i'll try fixing them asap!

song to listen to while reading :

; DREAM

this man right here is VERY careful with you

always asking for consent before any physical contact with you (consent is always the key!)

he was so happy when you said that you were fine with cuddles and hugs with him! be ready for tight back hugs from him 'cause he loves putting his head on the crook of your neck >:)

but kisses... you were a bit shy about it since you were new to this type of relationship and you wanted to learn a bit first,

you told him about wanting to take things slowly and get used to it first, and of course he understands! dream will 100% respect your boundaries

he will wait patiently until you're comfortable enough with him because he loves you so much and he wants you to see him as a safe, comfort place :)

then one day when the two of you were baking cookies for valentines day, dream jokingly asked you to kiss him on the cheek as a thank you for helping you with the cookies

i mean, it's almost valentines anyways. a small, innocent kiss wouldn't hurt right? ö

you just giggled and gently leaned your face closer to his cheek, your fingers softly bringing his chin closer to you

you gently placed a kiss on his cheek, then quickly turning away from him with a wide smile

congratulations, you have successfully broke dream

man would be frozen on the place for a full minute, trying to process what just happened and is this real or not (because if it's not real he'd cry on the floor)

expect him to cling on you and not letting you go for the next few hours, calling you with sweet names like baby, hun, etc. for no reason and just be all lovey dovey with you ♡

he would secretly mark the date on his phone's calendar just for this special day where you kissed him for the first time HHAHSJDKSKD

if you were comfortable, he would offer you a kiss on your cheek to return the favor 🥺

and if you said yes, AAAAAAAA he would be so fucking happy, his serotonin level would just go through the roof like 📈📈

and ofc, he would happily give you a sweet kiss on your cheek! ( ˙ᵕ˙ )♡

; GEORGE

george is definitely very shy with you at first

he's VERY careful around you and treat you with so much care 🥺

( but once the two of you have gotten pretty used to each other, you guys bully each other 24/7 💀💀 (jokingly ofc!) )

at first, you thought george didn't like physical affections like kisses, hugs, etc.

boy you were wrong

this cat boy secretly LOVES physical affections from you, but he just hides it from you! and of couse, you love giving them to him too :)

but you were a little bit shy about kisses, and same goes to him. two shy cuties !!

if he was being honest : he wants to squish your cheeks and shower you with kisses, but he respects your boundaries and will wait until you're ready to take a step further! (( and he's really shy, he would also need time to get the courage to do it :D ))

then one day george has just finished recording for minecraft manhunt and boy, that block game can actually make you tired

the moment he's done with the recording, he immediately rushed to the bed and plop himself next to you

you would ask him things like how did the recording went, etc. and he'll answer you while letting you play with his soft hair 🥺

george was feeling a little playful, so he joked and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to recharge his energy

you looked at him with your cheeks slightly reddened. george has been working hard lately anyways, he deserves a gift, right?

you slowly bought your face closer to his cheek and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before looking away then melt into a puddle

georgenotfound who? i only know georgenotworking

his eyes would be widened, face red, and he would just sit there with his palm on the cheek where you planted the kiss on

it's been 3 minutes and his face is still red, huge grin on his face while hugging you tightly

he won't even try to hide the fact that he loves being affectionate with you anymore

it's the first time george has ever been clingy with you and you're living for it tbh 🥺

he'd ask you if you want a kiss too, in such a shy manner like "i can... give you... a kiss too... if you want... 👉👈"

if you say yes ? MMMMMMMMMM the two of you melt into a puddle together <33

he'll give you a quick but sweet kiss on your cheek with his face redder than before (,,．．„ )

; SAPNAP

man seems like he would fight you no matter what size you are

but in reality? sapnap's the sweetest and the clingiest (in a positive way, ofc!) man you've ever been with and you're so into this

he LOVES being affectionate and clingy with you, in fact he does it all the time. it's just how he is with you :)

he also LOVES giving you affection. he doesn't care about who's giving and who's receiving tbh, he just loves being around you in general 👉👈

you love his affection and giving him affection too, of course!! but you were a bit shy since this was your first romantic relationship with someone and kissing was a new thing to you

sapnap would tease you for being so shy around him, endlessly flirting with you just to see you all flustered, because in his eyes? you're so fucking adorable and that's a fact. ♡

despite him being all playful and flirty with you, he respects your boundaries and will 100% wait until you're ready!

of course he wants kiss you right on the spot but he can wait patiently, just for you <3

then one day, he was playfully flirting with you as usual

and he jokingly said "hey y/n, i think i deserve a kiss on the cheek for being cute!" well, you couldn't disagree with what he just said 👀

so you put on a large grin and placed a kiss on his cheek, immediately turning red afterwards

sapnap's the new pogchamp emote now

he would be so surprised and just turn into a ball of absolute joy

he'd immediately scoop you closer to him, hugging you tightly while giggling and just— shower you with lots of love 🥺

and trust me, he won't let go of you unless it's emergency or if you were uncomfortable

but if you were fine with it? this man will hold you like his life depends on it

he would also give you kisses on your cheek / the top of your head if you were comfortable enough :)

and if you did allowed him to kiss you? he'll immediately shower you with kisses and calling you his in between the kisses, like "you're mine, mine, mine" 👉👈

; QUACKITY

alex, he's such a flirty mf 😳

endlessly teasing you and flirting with you just to see you being flustered, just like sapnap

he'd call you with sweet spanish nicknames like mi amor, hermosa, etc. and you find them cute, honestly 🥺

he's really clingy with you (in a good way!) and always hugs you whenever he sees you. it's almost like an instinct to him when he sees you :) but you don't mind since you're living for his warm hugs and cuddles ♡

he LOVES the way you melt under his hugs, and honestly? he wants to cover your whole face with kisses but he knew you were new into dating and want to take things slowly, so he respects your boundaries! :))

one day, he was in a discord call with his friends and they were endlessly teasing him; which leads him to fake crying as a joke and asked you to give him a kiss on the cheek to make him stop crying

man, alex is so fucking adorable and you thought that he deserves a reward for being such a cutie

so you giggled and moved closer to him, slightly bending down to get to his level and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning away with a large grin on your face.

you know that one time karl jokingly leaned in to kiss alex? yeah, he has the exact same expression now

this man would stare blankly at you, his cheeks slightly red but then a few seconds later he's screaming in absolute joy

his friends would be so confused, asking him if he was alright but instead of answering them, he mutes the call and immediately clings his arms around your neck

"mi amor, you should do that more often if you're okay with it ;)"

100% endlessly flirting with you while hugging you tightly, melting you into a puddle ( bonus point if you knew spanish, cause he'd say cheesy pick up lines in spanish for you ;) )

and just like sapnap, he'd shower you with sweet kisses on your face if you were fine with it!

and if you were okay with him kissing you? man... you know that one vine where a kid is crying because of how cute her puppy is? yeah that's alex quackity @ your existence

he'd just be so happy and shower you with kisses, praising you, telling you how adorable you are, and telling you that you're his and he loves you so fucking much 🥺

; KARLJACOBS

karl jacobs is the definition of wholesome itself

he's literally the sweetest human being you've ever met, you can almost taste cotton candies when you're with him

he's really affectionate and loving towards you, always praising you whenever he's hugging you and holding you close to him! and of course, we can't forget the sweet nicknames he have for you. he just loves giving you so much affection, and you're in for it! 🥺

don't forget his playful side too! he would always joke around with you and maybe be flirty when he's feeling extra playful :) he can go from sending you wholesome memes to weird cursed images, no in between

but you were a little bit shy since you were new in this type of relationship. you told karl that you wanted to learn more first before jumping into more romantic gestures, including kisses.

of course this boy would go "okay! :)" and shower you with gestures you're comfortable with instead (hugs, cuddles, etc.) he wants you to feel comfortable around him, so he respects your boundaries! ♡

then one day when the two of you were cuddling on the couch while watching adventure time, karl jokingly asked what if you gave him a kiss on the cheek like marceline did to bubblegum

and you thought karl has been so sweet with you this whole time. you gotta return the favor to him, right?

so you just displayed a shy smile, leaning closer to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek before you slowly melt in his arms

his eyes widened and he just wants to scream the way puppycat did

he'd immediately bring you closer to his body and mutter out uncountable i love you's, calling you perfect, sweet, etc. just praising you and being all giggly with you. of course he would be so giggly, you just gave him a kiss!!! 🥺👉👈

he would LOVE to return the favor to you, if you're fine with it!

and if you said yes? places such a sweet kiss on your face and just admire you with his starry eyes 🥺

JNNGGHHH SO MUCH SEROTONIN THIS RELATIONSHIP IS JUST 50% WHOLESOME AND 50% WHOLESOME BUT IN RED

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neoculturetravesty · 3 years

Text

We met in online class - Last Part

Image adapted from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, angst, fluff Warnings: Strong language Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: And so it comes to an end, and let me tell you guys, I am not okay 😔 This is going to be a bit of a longer A/N, so please bear with me. If you’d like to get straight to the story, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND, so feel free to click Keep Reading!

Lowkey, I had a bit of a meltdown as I typed the final words on this fic because I hadn’t realized how attached I had grown to the characters. This is the first time I wrote three different chapter openers before deciding on one, because I simply couldn’t believe it was goodbye after this.

These mofos had constantly been on my mind for the past two months and a half. I would spend most days thinking about where to take them and then bringing them to life at night, after my entire day was over. When I wasn’t writing, I’d make little notes about thoughts I had into the night about them so that I wouldn’t forget them when morning comes.

This was my first ever (and as of right now, my only) chaptered fic. I had no idea parting with it would be as emotional as it was. When I think back to when I first received the prompt for this, I had never even imagined I could write Renjun, let alone a series. But there was something in the prompt that had gotten my wheels turning. And I am so immensely glad that it did. There were days when I thought “Oh man, what have I gotten myself into.” Some days, the story would just flow. Other days, I’d keep staring at the blinking cursor not knowing what to type. But when I did, I found my emotions so deeply connected with the characters. I was happy when they were happy. I was sad when they were sad. So, parting with them is very hard to say the least.

But through this journey, I got to experience the joy of reading all of your reviews and comments and honestly, it made it all worth it. THANK YOU to every single one of you that read this story and waited on it and laughed and cried with it. You have made my life better in more ways than you can imagine.

In this moment, I want to thank 🍙 anon, because it was their prompt that put me in this mess in the first place. And so, it is only fitting that I dedicate the final part to them 💛

“Oh, we definitely need a picture together. How about here? I think this place would fit everyone.” Kim Doyoung looks about, finding a spot best suited for the photo he wanted.

“I think right there on the platform would be better. We could get everyone in two tiers.” his assistant suggests.

“You’re a genius. Let’s gather everyone. It’s not often that so many NCTU grads and students come to Midnight Arthouse,” Doyoung nods.

“How many of us are here, anyway?” Renjun muses. The assistant looks at her iPad, checking once again.

“I think there’s 23 of you. So, let’s definitely go for the platform.” she nods.

“Okay, then.” Doyoung claps his hands together once, “Gather everyone,” he says to no one in particular and walks ahead with purpose. Renjun and the assistant’s eyes meet and they smirk. Of course this was directed to the both of them. So, they set about to work.

As it would turn out, gathering 23 people from a charity event with art and food and drinks would be a bit of a task. But somehow, they manage to gather all alumni and current students on the platform in three tiers instead of two for a somewhat chaotic picture. There must’ve been something in the water at NCTU because none of it’s students could stand still for very long. They get maybe one decent picture and several in which someone or the other was moving or pulling a face.

His friends aside, looking around at the group, Renjun realized that he recognized nearly all of them. Yangyang and Hendery and the rest of their frat were here. As were the 127s, old and new. Renjun recognized them all, except maybe two boys, who didn’t seem to know a lot of the others either. When the pictures were done and the main events were over and the crowd had started to dissipate, Renjun finally walked over to the artwork to observe it up close.

Honestly speaking, watching the work with his own two eyes left no doubt in his mind that this artist deserved to be spotlighted like this. This work was in a league of its own. Watching it makes Renjun smile; because looking at it makes him think back to a few months ago when he was sitting in Kim Doyoung’s office, thinking of himself as some sort of a big shot. But the truth is, there was no way he had that caliber then, and there is no way he has that caliber now, though he was sure as hell working on it.

“This is the piece I lost the bid on.” Renjun hears a voice and he turns around to see Zhong Chenle’s father observing the art with him. Renjun bows politely and smiles under his mask,

“I mean, this is a remarkable piece. You have good taste.” Renjun acknowledges.

“What about you? Why isn’t any of your artwork displayed here?” he asks and for a while, Renjun smiles a bit nostalgically. He could’ve been here, had he made something for the Annuale. Had he just selfishly taken that shot. Then again, there would’ve been no real guarantees. Because Kim Doyoung was pretty particular in the people he chose, whether they were recommended by his family or not. Working with him closely in the last couple of months had taught Renjun that. It had also taught him how underdeveloped his skill was in the real world context.

“I guess I still have a long way to go.” Renjun replies humbly.

“Don’t we all?” Chenle’s father nods, “Are you working here at this establishment?”

“Um, I… I suppose I am. I am Kim Doyoung’s apprentice. He is my mentor.” Renjun nods.

“So I might see your work here soon enough, eh?” Renjun assumes the kind man is smiling under his mask because his eyes seem to be making the same shape as Chenle’s do when he smiles. So Renjun grins back.

“I mean… if I work really hard, I might get to shoot my shot in the next Midnight Arthouse Annuale.” Renjun fantasizes.

“Or maybe you’d get lucky like this young artist,” he points his chin towards the artwork.

Renjun smiles, “I would credit her luck, too if I hadn’t seen her work. But her talent is… it kinda speaks for itself.”

“Oh, no, you should definitely credit her luck. Talent isn’t enough. The stars have to align. Luck, talent, the right place, the right time. It all has to come together.” he says nodding.

Renjun considers his words. They seem to be coming from the wisdom of experience.

What if Renjun hadn’t received the phone call about his grandma back then? Well, then he probably would’ve made something lackluster and gotten rejected. Working with Kim Doyoung has taught him as much. It didn’t matter who had put a word in for him. At the end of the day, his work had to be outclass.

What if he had received the phone call and then still had enough time to submit something for the Annuale? Then he still probably wouldn’t have because… well, because of you.

What if he had gone ahead, regardless of you or his grandma and just made something and submitted it? Then he still would’ve been rejected. Because the truth of the matter is, he just didn’t have the caliber that artists associated with Midnight Arthouse did.

In that sense, Renjun supposes everything was in fact happening at the right place and right time now. Doyoung was mentoring him and he was getting better by the day. The stars were aligning for him. He knew it in his heart.

“Then I would wish that it all comes together for me, too.” Renjun says.

“When it does, young man, I’ll be the first one to bid on your work.” he says and Renjun doesn’t even have the time to react when he feels a presence breeze in his direction and invade his personal space.

Renjun doesn’t even have to look up to know who it is. He can tell by the way this body fits perfectly into his side. He can tell by how naturally his own body responds and just puts his arm around it’s waist.

“Oh man, I missed all of it, didn’t I?” you lament, as you loop your arms around his neck from the side instead of a hello.

“Not all of it. The guys just left but your brother and his friends are still here. Besides, you had work.” Renjun turns his head and looks into your eyes to reassure you. “Y/N, this is Chenle’s father.”

“Oh, hello!” you say cheerfully and respectfully bow and give you greetings. “It is so nice to meet you. Chenle looks just like you!”

“Yes, I’ve been told I’m a more handsome version of him,” he smiles then turns to Renjun, “And who might this young lady be?”

“This is my girlfriend, Y/N. She goes to NCTU with us.” Renjun introduces you and you bow again. Oh, the thrill he got every time he got to introduce you as his girlfriend. Fuck, he’s pretty sure he’d never tire of it, even if it had just been a few months. The serotonin boost in his veins is strong and he gets the urge to squeeze you and hold you forever.

“Oh, that’s very nice. Come have a meal with us before we have to catch a plane back home, okay?” Chenle’s father invites the two of you.

“Oh, I would love to!” you say in your chipper tone before your eyes start darting around “I’m going to have to excuse myself for a little bit, I just wanna say hi to my brother.” you say and you politely bow before you start moving away.

“Babe, hang on…” Renjun says, holding you back by your hand. He brings his fingers delicately to the bridge of your nose and softly pinches down the mask over it so it sits more snugly on you. “There, it’s much safer now.” Renjun nods and watches the affectionate smile your eyes give before you move away. You looked so pretty today, even if you were just coming back from a four-hour internship. You were easily the most beautiful girl in this room, though Renjun suspected that you’d be the most beautiful girl in any room you entered.

Albeit sometimes, Renjun had to wonder if your talent or your beauty was greater. Because you had become the only junior in NCTU to land an internship at the SMK Trainee Drive. And now that you were a senior, you were somehow managing to keep your grades up alongside it.

Renjun, on the other hand, would find himself struggling with balancing his apprenticeship with his school work. So he knew firsthand how your discipline was something else altogether. Recently though, he had experienced a rise in his grades because you had been taking him on so many study dates that your organizational skills and motivation had started to rub off on him.

Renjun walks around the studio and the party and feels like it’s been too long till you’re finally back by his side.

“Love in the Time of Corona,” you read the title of an art piece displayed in front of you. “That was supposed to be our thing.”

Renjun laughs and has no qualms in looping his arms around your waist and finally pulling you into himself.

“I guess we should’ve realized then how un-novel the idea would become in a few months.” he comments.

“Un-novel is not a word, Huang Renjun.” you narrow your eyes at him.

Renjun laughs. “It is now,” he says and lets out a long exhale, “I missed you today.” he complains, though he looks down at you with warmth.

“Well, you’ve got me now. And you have me for the entire weekend.” you reassure him, your palms on his chest.

“Mhmm.” Renjun smiles and he wants to lean in to kiss you. But Kim Doyoung specifically had people assigned to walk around and make sure that everyone had their masks on when inside. “Also, we already have a thing.” he reminds you and winks.

You laugh, and say “I guess we do,” then let out a happy sigh as your eyes avert from his for a moment, taking in your surroundings. “Our Couple Thing should give you some ideas on what you can make when your work is displayed here in the 2022 Annuale. I won’t be late to that, I promise. I’ll take a day off from everything else in my life.”

Renjun's heart grows warmer still, and he’s sure his eyes reflect what he feels, “How can you be so sure my work will be displayed in the 2022 Annuale?”

“I don’t know, Huang Renjun. I just have a feeling about you.” you say and Renjun can see you smile even if your lips are covered by a mask. Your eyes always smiled before your mouth did, anyway.

“Y/N L/N, I have a feeling about you, too.” he retorts.

“And what feeling would that be?” you raise an eyebrow.

“It’s a secret.” he says, but now he sees your pout, even if he can’t see your mouth because your cheeks have puffed up over the mask. It makes him laugh.

“You’re no fun.” you protest.

“I’ll tell you once we get out of here.” Renjun offers.

“Well, I’m ready to leave.” you jut your chin up. Renjun grins and offers you his arm. You grab it with your entire body and the two of you start walking out together.

You had plans for the weekend, after all. And Renjun was determined to keep you all to himself for once, with no one else demanding your time. Not your internship, not your assignments, not any of your friends, and especially not Lee fucking Donghyuck. He was finally going to take you away where it could just be you and him and nobody else.

This moment felt way too surreal to Renjun.

The campfire had simmered down from a glorious roar to a comfortable burn, giving off just enough heat in the cool of an early winter evening. The sky was in it’s fading moments, where the pink of the light was slowly turning to violets and the violets were slowly merging into darks.

Renjun remembered suggesting to you all that time ago that maybe you could go somewhere together. But now that he was here, he hadn’t imagined that the moment would feel as surreal as it did.

Because now the two of you are sitting in front of your tent by the fire, entwined in one another. You’re sitting between his legs, arms around his neck, nuzzling your cheek inside his padded jacket while he supports your head on his arm and kisses you.

He’s holding you in his arms and kissing you and everything seems so perfect that for a moment, he has to pull away to watch your face and wonder if all of this was real. And though there is a gentle smile on your face, you’re not opening your eyes much. Because you know full well that Renjun’s lips would be back on yours in no time. So you play with his hair as they fall to his forehead and when he kisses you again, you press up into him so he would wrap his arms around you and hold you tighter. He does and he rubs his hands up and down your back and attempts to close his jacket around you.

“Are you cold?” he asks lovingly. You shake your head.

“No. I just want to crawl inside you.” you say, like it’s the most logical thing to be said.

“Creepy.” Renjun remarks but holds you closer still.

“You should be happy you haven’t seen my collection of your hair clippings.” you quip as you nip into the skin of his neck.

“Oh, sweet. That rivals all your used tissues I’ve kept in my shrine at home.”

“Aww, you shouldn’t have.” you coo at him and then lean up to kiss him some more and he laughs. But soon, he pushes the arm that you were using like a pillow up so your face would be closer to his and he could kiss you as deeply as he was truly craving.

The two of you keep kissing like that till the sky is dark. It was an odd sort of trance, being so lost in one another that neither of you cared about what time it was or how long you had been sitting here, wrapped up in one another. Your phones were zipped away in your bags and you hadn’t checked them even once since you had parked your camping van and set up your tent. It was a slow, peaceful sort of bliss, just sitting by the fire and kissing and kissing with nothing else on your minds but being here like this with one another.

“Renjun?” you say, your voice sounding like it was returning from a deep thought.

“Hmm?” Renjun asks as he combs your hair away from your pretty face.

“You know, I learnt today that a cactus can live anywhere between 10 and 200 years.” you tell him, idly tracing the birthmark on the back of his hand.

Renjun leans in and presses long into your lips. “Yeah?” he replies and watches your face. It seemed hazily focused, like it was trying to catch onto a faraway thought.

“I also learnt that it can take up to 30 years for a cactus to bear flowers.” you say in an introspective, wistful tone.

Renjun looks away to hide his smile. Oh God, you were so cute. “Yeah?” he says again, but it’s getting more and more difficult to keep a serious face.

“Sometimes, a cactus doesn’t flower at all.” you say and then you turn your head to look at him like you’ve resurfaced from your thoughts and are now in the moment. Renjun’s grin grows wider. “Renjunnn…” you whine and so he has no choice but to tenderly hold your cheeks in his palms and stroke your hair.

“What?” he chuckles.

“You said you’d think you’re worthy of my forgiveness when the cactus bears flowers.” you whine again and Renjun has to plant a loving kiss to your forehead.

“Is that what I said?” he chuckles some more and then leans in to kiss the anxious realization away from your lips.

“Renjun.” you pout and Renjun laughs and takes his beautiful, whiny, kindhearted girlfriend in his arms and hopes that his hold could chase away all the worries from her pretty, brilliant mind.

He kisses you because his heart can’t bear it any longer. How did he manage to hold a heart like yours in his hand?

Renjun feels an indescribable amount of happiness. Like he wasn’t sure that you were really here with him, in his arms, all for him to hold, with no worry or burden afflicting him. The happiness is so immense and so incredible and so heavy that for a moment, he feels it suffocating him. He wonders if he deserved this kind of happiness.

But right in the next moment, he stops himself. He knew how easy it was to relapse into those tempting, lonesome thoughts. But if there was anything that therapy was teaching him, it was that of course he deserved happiness.

Though right now, holding you in his arms, this happiness was choking him. He felt like his heart was swelling and pressing against his lungs and his chest couldn’t bear it and he could no longer breathe.

“Y/N…” he exhales, holding you back so he can look at your face and you could look up into his. He pauses to gather another breath. Then, he just says it. “I love you.”

And doing so does the trick. He feels his chest slowly getting lighter, because this is what it had been bursting with. Now, he’s told you. Now, it can be unburdened.

You look up at him and there is nothing but a sparkle in your eye, and tenderness in your smile. For a while, you say nothing, just looking upon his eyes like that. “Thank you.” you finally whisper back at him.

Renjun pauses for a moment. But then, he relaxes. This was okay. You didn’t have to say it back right away. Renjun was ready to give you as much time as you needed. So he presses his lips into your forehead once again till he feels you laughing against him. He pulls back in confusion and you grab at the lapel of his parka.

“Huang Renjun…” you say and he looks back at you with uncertainty, “... I love you, too.”

And Renjun can’t help it if he kisses you too hard. He can’t help it that he’s squeezing you too tight. He wouldn’t care if the night brightens back into morning and the morning fades back into night. He was going to hold you just like this for the rest of his life.

So he lays you down and kisses you deeper, like he wanted to make up for all the time he had lost. All the time in his life when he hadn’t known you. All the time he had known you and didn’t let himself have you. He was going to make up for it all. And as he zips the tent up and shields you from the rest of the world, he wonders if he could spend all of his days just like this. Holding you and loving you and knowing that you loved him back; and if he could, today was a damn good day to start.

The fire slows to a simmer till all that’s left are embers that keep being carried away by the breeze. But the two of you remain inside, in your own world, happy that you had found one another, happy that you could finally have one another. Happy that you could hold one another and say that you loved each other and have nothing in the world hold you back, not now, not ever.

You were Y/N and Renjun, Renjun and Y/N, two names that were forever intertwined because that’s how people would call you now. You were the couple that belonged so perfectly with one another that people would wonder if you’d been together for years. And any time someone with a burning curiosity would come up to you and ask,

“So, where did you guys meet?” you would just look at one another, smile and say, “Well, we met in online class.”

~THE END

#renjun fic #renjun fluff #renjun angst #ficscafe #kpopscape #neowritingsnet #dreamwritersnet #huang renjun #renjun #nct fic #nct dream #nct #nct dream fic #nct fluff #nct angst #nct college au #renjun x reader #we met in online class

373 notes · View notes

saberstars · 3 years

Text

I'm Here

Pairing: Gender Neutral Y/N & Loki

Fluff, angst, implied smut

Warnings: Mentions of depression/mental illness, epilepsy/seizures, mentions of sex, as always if I missed anything feel free to let me know

Summary: Loki & You have a pre-existing friendship with benefits & one night you have a seizure after some spiciness. He cares for you helping you afterwards & makes sure you rest easy & safe. Reader is portrayed to have seizures more so during changes in sleep phases, not awake. The wake seizures or more of a medium ish absence/ focal aware seizure that only occur on occasion & can be “fought” through.

Word Count: 1796

Notes: This was intended to be a gender neutral reader. I think I removed all he/she pronouns.

Additionally, I know that not everyone experiences seizures the same way, and that epilepsy can affect people differently. This is all written from my experiences with it, so I ask that you do not tell me I portrayed something wrong. I can and will accept constructive criticism, But I will not accept someone telling me blatantly that I am wrong with my experiences. Therefore please keep that in mind when reading. I genuinely hope this fic brings others comfort if you suffer from epilepsy or any disorder that causes seizures. Thank You <3

It’s been three years since you found out you suffered from epilepsy. A diagnosis that came late in your life to be fair. As a young child up until you reached adulthood, you suffered from eye shakes that would eventually turn into stuttering spells that made it difficult to breath or not breath properly at all. You never passed out though, you got close a few times, but you managed to stay awake and “fight it off.” You started to notice over time that you’d also get a strange taste in your mouth, almost like metal or as if you were sucking on a battery and it had that zing flavor. You knew that was a precursor and would panic on cue rightfully so. You hated when you had your mini stutter fests because all you could do was hope it didn’t happen.

Of course you complained to your parents as a child but they didn’t think it was anything. They said it was just a panic attack. So you took their word for it. That was until you started having grand mals in your sleep. At first you thought they were just a part of some strange dream, that wasn't real to you, not yet anyway. You would wake up exhausted, sore, sometimes unable to move properly, walk, open and close a fist, and you just overall couldn't stay conscious sometimes. Again you complained to your parents about it, but they said it was nothing. You probably had night terrors or some form of minor sleep paralysis. So you dumbly believed them.

When you moved out, You sought answers, and eventually got them. You were grateful. The medication they prescribed helped tremendously though, it did make you tired but it was worth not having your episodes. Thankfully your case wasn’t as severe as others and it was manageable so long as you took care of yourself and took your medications. Though you were warned, breakthroughs were common, and missing your dose can and would cause a seizure.

Despite having such a diagnosis, you kept it to yourself. You never really told anyone. It wasn’t until you started sleeping with a friend, that you finally divulged your secret too in the event that it ever happened whilst they were with you.

It was someone you randomly slept with on and off with. A friend with benefits, his name was Loki. You had met the god shortly after his father had passed and his home, destroyed. You found comfort with each other despite it being more of a sexual comfort. You both used sex as a way to fight your own demons, a distraction, a quick grab at serotonin. Despite the sex you both developed a very deep friendship. You’d read together on occasion, have very interesting debates on current events, history, as well as other nuances, and a lot of other things. You even met his brother and the avengers at one point.

You both slept soundly after spicy events had taken place 2 hours prior, Loki had come over desperate for attention of any kind. He didn’t say why, but you knew it was a rather serious topic he wished not to discuss and rather lessen the pain with ecstasy. Little did you know, on this day a few years ago he indirectly murdered his mother. He blamed himself dearly, he knew if he would have kept his mouth shut for once in his life she may be here today. So he needed a genuine distraction. One of any kind. Preferable you. Due to the spicy events that took place you missed your dose, due to falling asleep promptly after, which cost you dearly. Missing doses always caused this to happen no matter what.

You gasped for air like usual, your body contorting outwards first with a thrust. You were awake, conscious, and terrified for the few seconds you normally were given before blacking out. You began to stutter violently all the air leaving your lungs as it happened. Until no sounds were made and it was just you chattering. Loki woke immediately, with a completely calm exterior despite a raging mixture of emotions internally. He knew you never called an ambulance for these things because you were normally alone & unaware until you became conscious again. She made him promise to never call 911 unless it was over a certain time length, to save her medical expenses, or unless she stopped breathing for good.

Loki dare not touch you though as you shook and curled up. The last thing he wanted was his godly strength to crush you somehow or cause you more pain. Instead he watched and hovered until you finally stopped. It was a short 50 second one, which was under your time limit, but he still debated calling. It’s not like You would’ve known he lied.

His breathing hitched as he went to check your pulse and airway, ever so delicately, which were both clear and strong.

“Oh thank you.” he whispered

A few hours had slid by with still no response from you. Loki sat next to you, staring down at you, to the point where he would fight the urge to blink, waiting for a stir of some kind from you. He did give the courtesy of redressing you though, in a nightgown from a drawer after an hour slid past. He even went as far as ensuring that you were adequately covered by the blankets to avoid being chilled. It has been 3 ½ hours now, with no stir of any kind from you. He knew it would be awhile before you showed any signs of movement possibly but this worry tore him to his core. In the midst of waiting he refused to just idly go back to sleep next to you, he was determined to stay awake until you were conscious again, so that you knew, he stayed there waiting for you. Loki didn’t know when he found himself talking to you as if you were awake, but all he knew was that it made him feel a bit better, and he hoped that when you woke it would make you feel better too.

“You know, I’ve been reading this really dumb gothic romance novel. I think you’d like it because of how naive the girl is. I know you like to criticize and pick on how they make decisions.” he spoke with a chuckle in his voice thinking back to how you’d flail your arms and drop your book to scream about how dumb some main protagnist could be.

“I'll have to buy you a copy or give you mine when I’m done.” Loki shifted his weight from his right to his left brushing your bangs out of your eyes.

“I don’t know why you keep those so long, all they do is get in the way of your gorgeous eyes.”

It was in that moment you rustled, you shifted your neck ever so slightly, Your eyelids twitch. Loki leaned forward parting his lips as he watched with a heart of hope completely overwhelmed with joy when he saw the color of your iris’s. He exhaled a shaky breath cupping your cheeks which caused you to flinch sending a wave of shocks through your body. It was at that moment you knew. You knew what he saw, what he had gone through. Your heart sank and you immediately berated yourself internally despite your exhausted state.

“It’s ok you don’t have to say or do anything. I’ll stay, I’ll take care of you for as long as you need.” Loki assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to go through this alone. You never really had anyone stay, let alone worry about you. Your eyes began to water as tears rolled down your face.

“I’ll go grab you some water, you’re probably parched. I’ll also grab you a banana. I read that potassium can help with the cramping.” Loki said leaving to yourself for a moment. He also grabbed tissues for your eyes and nose just in case. Upon returning her placed everything at your side offering help to sit up. “Do you need to use the bathroom or help sitting up?” He asked with a gentle tone.

You nodded trying to take a good deep breath so you could speak a bit. “I’m so sorry you had to see that… but thank you. Thank you for staying, for helping. I do need the bathroom and I would appreciate help. My legs are still...” you mustered out with all your might but after a point your tongue refused to work with you.

“Of course, I may be a monster but I’m not entirely cruel. If it helps… you can just think to yourself and I can listen that way. So that you're not struggling too much.” Loki admitted with a tone of self depreciation.

“You're not a monster just because you're different & have made mistakes.” you thought as Loki picked you up bridal style walking you to the bathroom. Of course he placed you down on the toilet and waited outside for you to do what you needed. Since he had only added a nightgown to your previously naked body it made things easier. It was exhausting to just sit up and do everything but you pushed through. You even pushed yourself up and limped to the sink best you could to wash your hands. Upon hearing the faucet though Loki came back in standing behind you offering support if needed.

“Catch me~” you thought before falling back into his arms with a snort.

“You're lucky I have godlike reflexes you minx.” He replied with a hint of flirtation. You had used more than you had in you to wash your hand. Loki caught you obviously and carried you back to the room placing you back on the bed. “No, more like I knew you were ready to catch me.” you slowly thought as exhaustion tugged at your consciousness again. Loki noticed the pill bottle on your dresser before prompting you to take it. Instinctively opening it and sliding one into his hand.

“You should probably take this before you fall asleep.” You took it mentally saying thanks drinking the glass of water with it.

“Yeah that would probably help avoid some added breakdancing.” You joked trying to use humor to lighten the situation. Loki stared plain faced trying not to entertain your joke though, despite finding it secretly witty. Maybe he’d laugh at it when you felt a bit better. Soon after you began to dance between awake and sleep. Loki took note based on how your thoughts jumbled around between multiple things, laughing to himself a bit before minor intrusive fears began picking at you. Loki immediately jumped into action in an attempt to squash them soothing you a bit.

“You can sleep soundly, please get some rest. You don’t have to force yourself to stay awake out of fear or guilt.” Loki spoke in the most caring and sweet tone he could muster up. Trying to convince you that it was going to be ok & it worked. Somehow you knew he was right & that you could trust him completely. You drifted back to sleep peacefully thinking about how for the first time in your life, you didn’t fear sleeping in your bed. You didn’t have intrusive thoughts about whether or not you’d wake up in the morning or not. Which honestly brought tears bubbling their way up and out of Loki's eyes. The amount of trust you had in him in your thoughts, at that moment completely took his breath away. And that was something he wasn’t going to break or ever lose.

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itsrapsodia · 2 years

Note

Oh god the softness in your art of Geralt and Jaskier. I just- I'm losing my mind. They way Geralt holds Jaskier, the way you've depicted that tiny little smiles, that gentle up-slash of his eyes. I lose my mind each time one of your drawings crosses my dash. I don't know why, but you reblogged some of your works in a row a day or so ago and the instant hit of serotonin after seeing multiple of your works in a row required me to get up and walk around my room. Oh my god, it's like having a little fire lit in my chest. It's like when the sun comes through your car window just right and no matter how you squint, it's in your eyes. Your art brings me such a violent joy I don't even know what to do with myself. That drawing of whomever dragging Geralt and Jaskier apart and they're kissing, holding onto each other, eyes closed-utterly obsessed. It rewired my brain. I think of it and can think of no other way to express an all consuming love. The other drawing where Ciri is standing there going this has gone on a long time and Geralt holds Jaskier and Jaskier waxes poetry to Geralt, tells him that being apart is like death? That his very skin aches for a touch? That is the kind of love they deserve, the kind of love all people deserve really, and I lose my mind for it. I lose my mind for the soft way you draw them, the story you've crafted of their love in gentle smiles and gentler touches. I see your art and climb a set of stairs to rid myself the energy. I see your art and go downstairs and unload my dishwasher, banging the pots and pans to relieve the molten sunlight trapped under my skin. I see your art and I lose comprehension. It is like you set a little bomb off in my head and only little bits and pieces of paper that were once my thoughts come spiraling down. They say "LOVE!!!", "THEY ARE IN LOVE", "SOFT", "BEAUTIFUL", "LOVE!!!!"- it is the feeling of eating poprocks, those candies that fizz? Do you know? But in my head, in my heart, under my skin. I want to leap atop my house and scream into the rising sun, "they love! They love and they love and they love!" I am revived again and again by your beautiful art, by the gaze Geralt has as he stares at Jaskier, by the smile you've painted onto Jaskier's lips. I cannot explain it better. I feel so alive!

an o n i have no WORDS 🥺🥺

im holding this message close to my heart to look at it whenever i feel down,, this is. incredible. thank you so so so much, truly ❤❤

#ask #😭😭😭❤❤❤

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shoichee · 3 years

Note

Hey luv! I just got my braces off and I don’t know if I like myself with or without them cause yah girl has ✨confidence issues✨ so can you do the GoM + Kagami and Teppei thanks my savior

OH, rn i have braces too (although they’re ceramic and harder to see) but I definitely can understand the apprehension when you have them taken off after for so long;;

the amount of characters requested actually exceed the rules, but since i’ve taken a while to get to your request, i’ll still do them but they will be shorter^^ THANK YOU FOR STICKING BY THIS BLOG AND READING MY STUFF <3

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

right away, he notices that something was amiss with you, and asks upfront if anything was bothering you

you replied hesitantly, but while you talked you held up a hand in front of your mouth:

“Um… I don’t know if I like how I look right now…”

Kuroko stares at your nervous eyes and then looks down to your hand in front of your mouth before asking why

“Just got my braces off, and I feel a bit… weird without them? I feel like I look strange without them…”

“Do you mind if I see you?” he asks, softening his eyes at you

“W-Well… you’re not someone to judge, I know, but don’t… laugh or anything.”

“I won’t, (y/n)-san.”

he slowly brings your hand down and you slowly smile to reveal your teeth to him, and he gives you the purest smile… and that catches you off guard so badly like… YOUR TEETH GOT HIM TO SMILE LIKE THAT??? DAMN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SMILE EVERY SECOND TO SEE SUCH A TREASURE—

“(y/n)-san, I think you look wonderful,” he muses, bringing your same hand that was in front of your mouth into his own hand with a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure everyone who sees you will think the same.”

ah Kuroko, the individual who has a knack in comforting people with his genuity (example: see Momoi)

whenever you do have those moments of self-consciousness again, he’s always there to calmly reassure you otherwise

Kise Ryouta

IMMEDIATELY sees your teeth when you talk, and freaks out like a little kid on Christmas

“(y/n)-cchi! (y/n)-cchi!!” he hoots around, pointing at his own teeth. “You got your braces off today! You look amazing!”

when you hesitate and tell him that you’re not so sure about yourself without your braces, he pinches your cheek and gives a little dramatic huff

“But (y/n)-cchi…! Come onnnn, trust me!” he says, giving a signature pout, and you laugh at his antics

“Ohhh, do that again! Do that again!” (he craves for your laughs, and he wants more)

he definitely tries to get you to smile and laugh to get you more comfortable with your braceless teeth

whether you have braces or not, he doesn’t mind so much because what he really cares about is your smile, and if he sees your teeth showing, braces or without, it means that he knows he’s doing a good job in making you comfortable and happy

while he showers you in praises every single moment, when you feel really down, he takes an extra measure or two to cuddle you gently while being much softer in delivering those compliments

always gives a daily compliment to give you a serotonin boost

Midorima Shintarou

he’s confused… why would you be upset that you got your braces off? you looked great before and even now, so does the fact of braces really change your perception of your appearance that much?

he won’t make any comment on your new appearance unless you bring it up to him and ask for his opinion/reassurance

he’s just happy for you that you have another milestone of your life, and not to mention, braces generally promote better oral health and fix misaligned bites

“Hm? What do I think of how you look? D-Don’t be ridiculous… What am I supposed to say?”

“Well, I just… think I look a little odd… I kind of… want my braces back.”

“You know you can’t do that, nanodayo,” he sighs. “So much money, effort, and care were invested into your teeth for many years. You did the most you could to take care of them and achieved the goal you set out for yourself when you first got braces, correct? That isn’t something to be ashamed of, nanodayo.”

despite his lecturing, his words do have some merit, and Midorima’s words were comforting in his own way

“But Midorima, um… sorry for annoying you,” you say, giving a chagrined smile

Midorima takes a good look at your exposed teeth for the first time and widens his eyes in a fluster before turning his eyes back to his astrology book

“I-I-It’s nothing.”

bonus: he’s definitely that one fussy parent who forces you to wear your retainers religiously, NO EXCUSES—he doesn’t want the whole process to be all for naught just because you got lazy in wearing a simple metal thing

Aomine Daiki

idiot #1

“Whoa, your teeth look different,” is something he would say tactlessly

immediately, you slapped your hands over your mouth at his words

forgive him, he usually says what’s on his mind with no filter and consideration

by then, he’d realized that the tone of his words was poorly delivered and would try to correct himself before he says anything more to dig himself a deeper grave

“Er, sorry, what I mean is… I didn’t know you were gonna have them off today…”

that actually made you more self-conscious and you try to flee from the scene

“W-Wait, hey!”

insert Aomine clumsily explaining that he didn’t mean to be tactless with his words and that he just meant that he was surprised in a good way

definitely shows you a lot more wholesome affection in addition to his usual PDA, but you wonder what he thought about your new “appearance,” so to speak

“What kinda question is that?” he scoffs. “You’re still hot and always will be.”

if there’s one sure benefit to his blunt words, it’s that his straightforwardness can easily dispel all your doubts and clear up any misunderstandings in one go

if you’re still doubtful about yourself, he’ll gladly resort to action to prove his point… perhaps makeout sessions with him would become a lot more exploratory and… just putting it out there, but we will leave this up to your imagination

anywho, he’s not afraid to give you more direct kisses to try to show you that he doesn’t care about your teeth and your lack of braces

definitely would tell out-of-pocket jokes and laugh more to get you to grow comfortable; after all, smiling is contagious right? who can resist Aomine’s smile???

if someone tried to make you uncomfortable by drawing everyone’s attention nearby in how you got your braces off, whether intentional or not, he’s scaring them away, no questions asked and he’s taking you away from the scene

Murasakibara Atsushi

“Oh…” he says with his usual drawl. “You got them off, Chibi-chin?”

it was a usual day with him tucking his own head into his arms to nap on the table when you walked up to him apprehensively, and he immediately notices your presence but lazily picks up his head to look at you when he noticed

“Er… yeah…”

he slightly tilts his head to the side like an inquisitive child to silently question what was wrong

“It’s nothing really! Just feeling tired… not in the talkative mood today.” as you said this, he noticed that you were more… tight-lipped, speaking in a quieter manner as if you were trying not to show your teeth as much as possible

he beckons a languid hand over and you reluctantly sit by his side, your face still slightly turned away

you thought he was just going to go back to sleep like he always does, but imagine your surprise when he easily picks you up from the side and placed you on his lap, face-to-face

Murasakibara then pulls your cheeks apart, revealing your pearly whites to him

“H-H-Hey!! Lert… gorw!”

“Don’t wanna.”

“I’m… serwious!”

he stares at you impassively for a few moments before he suddenly lets your cheeks go and yawns

“... you look fine, Chibi-chin,” he mumbles, and he sets you off his lap before getting up with a stretch. “Besides, now that you don’t have braces anymore, you can finally eat whatever you want right…?”

“I… guess I can…”

and he’s already reaching for your hand to tug you to the nearest takeout with a slight shine of excitement in his dark pupils

“Chibi-chin, we can finally eat those candy apples together you’ve always craved for, lots and lots…”

he’s very fixated on you eating with your braceless teeth for the next few weeks with a small smile on his face, because you enjoying the food you eat are some of the simplest joys he loves when he’s with you (and you hadn’t been able to do that because your braces forbidden you from eating a list of things)

definitely drags you out for food outings a lot more for the next few weeks

he tries his best in trying to make you not think about your teeth and your self-consciousness about them in his roundabout way (note: see his cheek pulling, distracting you with your favorite snacks, etc.)

he’s not someone to make any deal out of it because worrying over such a trivial thing is annoying to him, but nonetheless he certainly wants to make sure that nothing is bothering you because that’s the greatest inconvenience (since he doesn’t like to see you in such a state)… you being upset and worried makes him upset and worried, after all

Akashi Seijuro

he immediately understands that feeling of self-doubt/self-consciousness, but nonetheless he compliments you to let you know that he truly finds you desirable/beautiful inside and out

still, words alone sometimes don’t convince you and even when he gives physical affection to comfort you, there’s still that nagging feeling of how you felt about your teeth

and he’s totally okay with that, and he knows that feeling very well himself (regarding having inner voices that taunt him)

rather than constantly hammering in compliments because he knows that at some point they’d feel more disingenuous the more he says them, he offers you to help overcome the self-consciousness on your own terms

Akashi offers the suggestion of wearing face masks (not necessarily the surgical ones, but the cute/plain colored masks you’d see around!) if you have certain days where you feel low about your braceless teeth

he’d be quite sly and teasing all the while; whenever you wear your cute mask for the day, he’d be a lot more affectionate with the PDA and give pecks on your lips… but the mask is always in the way, preventing you from feeling actual contact with his own lips

he can tell you’d definitely get pouty when you don’t really feel those kisses and he simply laughs and walks on

“You…! I know you only try to kiss me when I have the mask on! Don’t play dumb with me!”

“Hm? Is it really a crime for me to show physical affection to the person I love?”

he eventually does help you coax you out and become comfortable, and your face masks would eventually be stored away in a drawer

he rewards you for being strong in overcoming your own doubts:

“To celebrate your strength in overcoming a huge milestone, what would you like your reward to be?”

“For starters, give me back all those kisses you tried to give me throughout all the times I wore a mask!”

“Of course,” he chuckles, moving closer to your lips. “How could I ever resist you when you’re this stunning?”

Kagami Taiga

idiot #2 (see idiot #1)

unlike idiot #1, idiot #2 doesn’t notice the change on your teeth, at all

he doesn’t know why you’re fidgeting around or acting really, really strange… were you hungry? upset at him for something he didn’t realize he did wrong?

so after a few days after you got your braces off, he finally asks:

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”

poor guy doesn’t know if he was at fault or if he was missing something, and he physically holds his head to try to recall EVERYTHING for the past week

you reassure him that it wasn’t anything like that, but you still had furrowed brows and you were very careful in how you were talking

Kagami thinks you haven’t eaten and offers to make dinner, but eating in front of him for some reason really didn’t sound like a good idea to you so you declined

you’ll eventually tell him that you just felt a bit self-conscious after your braces got taken off

“Huh?”

he stares at your teeth for a very long time, and you immediately regret it, not wanting to draw his attention to you like that

he snaps out of his intense daze and immediately apologizes for making you uncomfortable

“M-My bad… I just didn’t notice until you told me.”

“Really?” you ask, slightly relieved that the change wasn’t as drastic as you thought it would be

“Er, yeah…” he mumbles, scratching his cheek, “you look good, by the way…” but by the time he finished his compliment, it came out as a cough

you can only laugh in relief, knowing that everything he says is always earnest and sincere

Kiyoshi Teppei

definitely noticed that your braces were off, but pretends to not notice until you bring it up yourself because he’s quite sharp and in tune with other people’s emotions

so he treats you like he always does, being the sweet “airhead” that he is, and he waits until you bring it up yourself (because he knows how self-conscious you were about your lack of braces)

you yourself are confused… like… was Teppei actually dense? was your whole inner dilemma not a big deal like your mind thought it would be?

you tug on his sleeve one day and ask him if he noticed your teeth, pointing to them all the while

and he immediately chastises himself (“silly me”) for not noticing, and he tells you that you were beautiful either way, and whether you had braces or not didn’t change that inherent fact (and that was his “reason” for not noticing to reassure you)

all while giving his easy going chuckles and ruffling your hair

laughs at your shyness at his words, not because it’s funny or anything but he truly finds you adorable

once you get comfortable without giving a second thought about your braces gone, he just drops the truth bomb on you so casually like:

“Ahhhh (y/n)-san,” he sighs in nostalgia. “You were really cute when you were so shy about getting them off, you know that?”

“Now wait a second…”

“Hm?”

“What did you say?”

“That you’re really cute.”

“No, no, the other part.”

“Whenever you get shy.”

“That is not what I mean and you know that—”

“Aww, you’re being really cute right now, (y/n)-san. Don’t tempt me to carry you around when I just finished with my physical therapy.”

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flutteringdreams-matw · 3 years

Text

Fic Writer Review

Thanks for the tag @dp-marvel94 - first time I've been tagged like this. I have a full fuzzy heart right now!

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 7 but attempting to clean up and move fics to AO3. I've got about 13 on FFN. 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 184 768 3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? On AO3 - 1, on FFN 2. Almost all Danny Phantom except for an old Merlin one shot. I'd like to revisit that Fandom one day - I just got so busy with school :/ The merlin fandom is quite awesome. 4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1) Twist and Turns 2) The Road to Normal 3) Making the Grade 4) Out of Time 5) Undeserved Punishment 5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for? Out of Time but honestly I'm grateful for any attention I get. 6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes! I have been bad at it for AGES but have recently gotten in the habit of replying once every two days. It brings some serotonin to my brain. I don't get many comments or kudos - so it brings even GREATER joy when I get to reply.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Uh.... I guess it would be Just a Clone an old oneshot from Dani's perspective after Kindred Spirits (right after it aired). It was maybe the 2nd thing I posted on FFN. 8. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Have not done a crossover yet - not for lack of ideas. It's just not something I'm good at. 9. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Remember when flames were a thing? Also, quite a guest reviews on FFN who impersonated people's accounts. Just... not a good thing to do. 10. Do you write smut? if so what kind? NOPE. 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have not - honestly don't think anyone would want to but please be my guest! 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet - but did start the planning process over on FFN with MsFrizzle for something. Still working out timelines/commitment! 13. What’s your all time favorite ship? Canon pairings so Amethyst Ocean. Not that I won't read or enjoy other pairings so long as it's close to canon or very well done. 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Hmm. See the whole reason I came back to writing was to finish all the WIP fics I didn't finish. Underserved Punishment was left sitting for 6 years. Making the Grade was TEN. YEARS. But have since finished them both. Currently, I guess it's an unpublished short work called "Worth of a Pawn" from Vlad's perspective in Reign Storm. I started it, have made attempts to finish it... but writer's block and life.

15. What are your writing strengths? Huh. Um. Hurt Comfort? Friendship? I'm hoping characterization?

16. What are your writing weaknesses? Honestly, I have a love/hate relationship with action/fight scenes with heavy dialogue. For a while I thought it was humour but Road to Normal has been going well so far? 17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? If you can do it - do it responsibly. 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 15 (or 16?) year old me sat in a dentist office and wrote the entirity of Escape from Fear Island and an untitled angsty torture fic with Danny finding Dani in the Fenton Basement in a notebook. Then I read Tortured Truth by Darth Frodo on FFN and went "oooh... that was better." I published EfFI instead and started to plan more in that universe.... and am still going 15 years later. 19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? What. Ugh - do I have to lol? I love Making the Grade for many reasons, but I think Out of Time has started to replace that. 20. What fic are you most proud of? Out of Time - hands down. All of the ecto-storm fics hold a place in my heart but there are some parts of this story that have been in my head since I wrote EfFI in 2006/7. I just... I look at the almost 110k words I've written for that story (that isn't already on AO3... still working on catching up!) and realize how much time it's spent in my heart. Everytime I post a chapter, I feel like a piece of myself is out their in the world. An insane world with many ups and downs. We're getting near the end now and I had literal tears when I finished the last chapter a couple weeks back. Tagging: Oh gosh I'm new to tumblr! Um... @dekalko-mania @captain-ozone and anyone else who wants to do this? So many people have done this already, I'd hate to double tag! Please go for it - share your story!!!

#danny phantom #fic writer review

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kuroopaisen · 3 years

Text

02:26 pm | kageyama tobio

➵ he’s as bright as fire.

wc: 1140

warnings: gn!reader, time-skip occupation spoilers (?), sfw shirtlessness?

a/n: my darling ren, my bosom friend, love of my life,,, happy birthday! i know i’ll get too sappy on main if i write your birthday message out here, but know this: i’m so, so incredibly thankful to have met you. i had no idea that hq x reader tumblr would grant me the joy of coming across a true kindred spirit, someone who i can let my walls down around and be unafraid. you have one of the kindest, most thoughtful hearts i’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. yours is truly a beautiful existence, and i hope this little fic can bring you even a tiny ounce of the serotonin you’ve given me. i love you so, so much :( thank you for everything ♡

Summer ebbs on languidly, a season of brilliant golden light and long afternoons. The city thrums with its usual heartbeat, the humming of cars and the bustle of people. Your apartment is too high up to see any of that with great detail, but you feel it. Even the buildings seem to pulse with life, cast in the warm gold of the afternoon sun.

Today, everything seems to be moving in slow-motion.

Perhaps it’s the heat. Everything moves slower in the warmth of the afternoon sun. It’s almost like the world is catching it’s breath, before diving headfirst into the vibrancy of the night.

It’s also more important to stay hydrated in this heat; something you frequently remind your boyfriend of.

He’s currently been delegated to ‘a day of relaxation’. He’s not the sort to sit still, but under insistence from you – and from Iwaizumi Hajime (27) athletic trainer – he’s agreed to take a day off from his admittedly intense training regimen.

But he’s still Kageyama, after all. That means that he takes a day off to the absolute extreme – so a lazy day spent in bed it is.

You settle onto the bed with a satisfied hum, the mattress not too soft, not too firm. Kageyama’s shirt is breathable, comfortable as anything on this nameless summer day. The season has only just begun. Or perhaps it’s at its peak. You’re not quite sure – you haven’t been keeping close track.

Next to you lies your boyfriend in all his shirtless glory. He’s not the sort to revel in getting praised for his body – in fact, he still gets quite bashful – but you’re not about to dismiss fine art when you see it.

There’s something about Kageyama that seems to make people think about winter, with hair the colour of early nightfall and eyes of dark ice. But to you, he is summer. It’s in the warmth of his skin, the brilliant clear blue of his eyes, the fire and the passion that burns deep through his veins.

You sigh, laying your head on his chest. His skin is hot against your cheek, his torso thick and solid with muscle.

His heart echoes softly in your ear.

It beats both steady and relentless, a strong, deliberate thud in his chest. This rhythm is what keeps him alive, allows him to push forward with the same uncompromising tenacity.

He’s worked hard for this body, even if it’s not something he’s paid particular attention to. Kageyama never seemed aware of his looks; his body is just a vehicle through which he can play volleyball. The aesthetics of his looks have never crossed his mind; he doesn’t even know how attractive he really is. He looks after his body not because he cares about his looks, but because he instinctively understands what it takes to move forward.

Kageyama Tobio is a testament to what it is to be alive, and he doesn’t even realise it. He simply gives it his all, moving so quickly and with such hunger that he doesn’t have time to account for failure. But he always looks back for you, making sure you’re still within reach. He knows that he doesn’t have to be alone.

It had taken him a while to realise that he was in love with you – that he wanted you to be part of his life, no matter where his path took him. But as with everything he’s passionate about, he applies himself with everything he has.

Every spare inch of that beating heart is yours.

“Your heartbeat’s so strong,” you hum.

“Is it?” He asks. His voice is a little rough, ragged with drowsiness.

“Mhm.”

“Iwaizumi-san said that’s a good thing.”

You chuckle. “I didn’t say it wasn’t.” You smooth a hand over his chest. It’s warm, firm, smooth. He’s knitted together with muscle and determination,

He really is in top physical form. “But I’m glad he’s taking such good care of you,” you hum.

It’s true. Iwaizumi is the perfect blend of caring and stern that’ll get your boyfriend to look after himself. You do your best in these quiet moments, these weekends stolen away at home. One thing is for sure – he wouldn’t have his famously bright complexion if you hadn’t introduced him to your skincare regimen.

Bless his soul, he’d approached that with such intensity that one might be mistaken in believing his career depended on it. But it’s nothing like that. It’s just that it’s something you were teaching him – something you care about. He’d wanted to understand.

“Did you want to go out tonight?” You ask.

A sound rumbles from his chest.

“What was that?”

“No,” he murmurs, voice thick and heavy. “I want to stay here.”

“You sure?” You tilt your head up slightly in an attempt to catch a glimpse of him. “But you’ve got the night off.”

“And I want to spend it here,” he says, resolute. “With you.”

You blush at his words, your cheeks feeling just as warm as his chest. “Ah. I see.”

Perhaps spending time with you is a reprieve. Not that he’d ever say that with his words. But he implies it in how he leans into your touch after a long day of practice, in how he prioritises spending time with you on a day off, in how he determinedly carves a space for you in his busy life.

“Is that a problem?” He asks, sincere as always.

“Not at all,” you smile, moving your arm down to cup his waist.

The evenings are usually reserved for practice, but his mornings are all yours.

“What would you like to do?” You ask.

He ponders it for a moment, pink and gold scattered across his cheeks. “Do you have any face masks left?”

“Always,” you chuckle. “There’s an entire shelf of them in the fridge.”

While you have no qualms storing them in the normal fridge, Kageyama had bought you one of those little cosmetics ones for your last birthday.

He nods.

“Then let’s use some of those,” he murmurs. “And we should order some curry.”

“Or, we could make some,” you tease.

He mumbles something you can’t quite hear under his breath, but you manage to catch the word ‘disaster.’

“Fine,” you smile. It’s not like buying curry would leave you wanting; one of the few benefits of having a professional athlete for a boyfriend meant that he had cash to burn.

And it’s preferable to burn that instead of the pork.

But you can’t blame him. It’s just his way.

His fingers trail down your back and leave fire. You find comfort in it.

Kageyama Tobio is a force of nature, an unrelenting will, a constant push to grow.

But he is also the warmth of the afternoon sun, the dedication it takes to love, the comfort of a heartbeat.

#kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama x you #kageyama tobio x you #kageyama imagine #rowan shut up challenge #ANYWAY #fluffvember 2020

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multiverseoffandoms-blog · 4 years

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Infatuation // G.W pt.1

A/N: This is part 1 of my George in love with his brothers girlfriend series. Let me know if you guys enjoy it. Warnings: Maybe angst, fluff? Poor writing, I dunno haha. Paring: Fred x female!Reader, George x female!Reader

If George was certain of anything in his life, it was of his infatuation over you. From first year watching you stumble down the Great Hall steps to the Gryffindor table after being sorted into your house, all the way up to the present. He was undecided about a lot when it came to choices, but he had be certain about you since the moment he laid eyes on you. And his first glance was never his last.

He tried to keep to himself, but he would be lying if he said that whenever you graced a room with your presence that it didn’t bring him an unbelievable amount of joy. If he noticed you in the court yard, laughing with some Hufflepuff friends, his steps would falter as his orbs fixated on you; your hair that seemed to dance against the evening breeze, the sun hitting your eyes at just the right angle to make them sparkle. You took his breath away almost every time he saw you.

Of course, his twin brother, Fred, would you be paying attention and would collide with his brother back, unknowing that he had stopped in his tracks. And Fred would follow his brothers gaze, grinning widely before dragging George over to you.

And why wouldn’t he? Why wouldn’t Fred be excited to spend every waking minute with you.. his girlfriend. -

It was another excitement filled Friday evening at Hogwarts, with most students still riled up from the arrival of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students all here to try their luck at becoming a representative champion for each school during the Triwizard Tournament. As Dumbledore had announced at the assembly — much to everyone’s objections — because of the severity each task held, no student under the age of seventeen had been permitted to enter their name.

A small group gathered in the Gryffindor common room, “inner circle only” if you will, as everyone fussed and chattered about the upcoming tournament. Most of the people sat in the room consisted of under seventeens, including George who wasn’t impressed with the rule at all, so majority of the conversations were souly based off “what if!”

George was sat on the arm rest of the hideously red couch that was placed strategically in front of the fire place, a few other chairs being dragged around to fit everyone. His arms sat crossed against his chest as he listened to the chatter around him. From the place beside him, Fred spoke.

“Absolute rubbish if you ask me!” He shouted, earning a few cheers around him. The two brothers had agreed to enter their names into the goblet as soon as they heard about it, so it was safe to say that their plan was a bust.

“I guess it’s a good thing no ones asking you then is it, Weasley!” George nearly fell to the floor when he heard your voice carry through the room. Most of his peers seemed to laugh loudly at your comment, but all he noticed was the light that drew itself to you as you bounced down into the common room. Fred moved slightly, lifting a couch cushion before throwing it in your direction. George watched you dodge it with ease, before bringing yourself over and plopping yourself practically into his twins lap. “Serotonin gone,” He thought to himself as he got to his feet, deciding that the far wall would be much more welcoming.

“I’ve seen that look before,” Hermione spoke from beside George. She had unknowingly frightened him, causing him to jump from the sudden conversation.

“Merlins beard Granger, do you think you could make yourself known next time?” “I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t moping around like a wounded animal!” She grumbled, snapping her book closed and turning her eyes onto him. They said nothing, George refusing to break first and speak what he was sure the young witch already knew..

He was in love with his brothers girlfriend.

“Boys,” she spat it out like she already knew everything there was to know about the male species. Being the smartest witch of her age, George didn’t doubt that she did — or was fairly close — to knowing everything. George gave himself only moments to weigh the pros and cons of his situation and how it could go wrong if he were to speak the truth out loud. He thought about what would happen IF she were to tell anyone, but the voice in his head reminded him of why Harry and Ron trusted her so much; she could keep their most deepest truths to herself. “Okay, fine,” George finally spoke, and when he did Hermione turned her whole body to him. She looked up to him, a sad smile setting itself on her lips. “Harry looks the same way when he sees Ginny with Dean,” she added. George sighed, nodding his head as he crossed his arms over his chest again, kicking absentmindedly at the floor. He felt stupid, harbouring a crush on his twin brothers girlfriend. Hogwarts was filled with so many beautiful women that he couldn’t even explain it, and yet the only one he had ever wanted was with his brother. It was completely wrong on so many levels..

“I heard they’re not “together”” she was sure to put air quotations around the word ‘‘together.’ George huffed as a sort of half laugh, turning his attention back to you. He watched as you sat beside Ron, laughing loudly as you tried to convince him to take the sweets you had offered him. From where he stood, he could tell they were hiccough sweets, and he couldn’t fight the smile that crept onto his face.

He sighed again, turning back to Hermione. “Even if they’re not.. together. That doesn’t mean they’re still not.. involved.” He cringed at the thought.

“And how are you so sure that what they have just isn’t a comfortable friendship?” The two Gryffindor’s turned their attention back to where you and Fred danced around, the crowd laughing loudly as Ron exploded into a fit of hiccoughs.

“Have I upset you?” You asked out of curiosity when you found George. He was sat tucked away by the restricted section in the library, books sprawled over the desk in front of him. He pulled his attention from his parchment, before meeting your eyes with a confused frown. “I don’t believe so, but if you know something I don’t know then please-” George gestured to the spare seat beside him. “-do take a seat and explain my dear,” he grinned up at you, giving you a wink as you challenged his stare. Finally, you caved and plonked yourself down in the seat beside him, pivoting your body so you faced him.

“I do know, that you’ve been lacking on your pranks, and have been less annoying that you usually are. So, what’s the deal Georgie? You sick?” You reached out and placed the back of your hand against his forehead, not missing the way he relaxed at your touch. You pretended to study his features for a bit, before pulling back and sitting upright. “Just as I suspected, you’re completely fine. Which leaves absolutely no reason as to why my best friend has been avoiding me!” Your voice had raised a level, and you were only just aware of how dramatic you were being. George seemed to panic, and for a split second you thought you were actually right and that he had been avoiding you. It made no sense, George was your best friend and together yours wrecked havoc on the stud not body together, not to mention the professors. You two had a bond unlike most, it was actually George who you were friends with first. You loved him, just as you loved the rest of the Weasley family. He pulled out his potions book, flicking it open to a random page before turning it to you, indicating that this is why he had been so distant. You frowned, sitting forward to take the book from him. A moments silence passed, before you brought your attention back to him. “And what does an ageing potion have to do with anything?” You asked. For the second time that evening, his eyes widened as he searched his mind for an excuse.

“I’ve had a theory, and it’s probably so dimwitted that it’s absolutely brilliant!” You nodded for him to continue.

“Dumbledore cast an age line around the goblet. Well - and again this is just a theory - if I make this potion correctly, it’ll age Fred and I and we’ll be able to add our names into the tournament!”

He spoke so casually, like it wasn’t probably the most dumbest idea he had had. You eyed him, before bursting into laughter. Tears fell from your eyes as you tried to contain your laughs, but every time you looked at George you would lose your composure all over again. George smiled beside you, his eyes on you, watching every move.

“I’m sorry George, really. I didn’t mean to laugh.” You told him, wiping the stray tears from your cheeks. “In retrospect, an ageing potion does seem like the correct way to go - if your trying to make yourself older. But this time, there’s obstacles in the way of just a simple ageing potion, what once was a simple task, could now be rather dangerous George. This could have serious consequences.”

George propped his arm up on the desk, before leaning his head onto his palm. He pouted his bottom lip out at you, and you tried to ignore how his sweet puppy dog face made the butterflies in your stomach stir.

“Are you worried about me, y/n?” He teased, reaching out to tuck your hair behind your ears so he could see all your face. You were vaguely aware of how inappropriate the situation was, knew that any bystander would definitely mistake the situation for something it’s not if they happened to pass by at this moment.

“Would they be able to tell that George isn’t Fred?” As soon as you thought it, you wanted to backhand yourself.

You watched as George dropped his hand from your hair, his knuckles brushing gently against the side of your face, as he let his hand fall to rest on your knee. The energy in the room seemed to shift almost instantly, the tension so thick it almost chocked you.

You swallowed against your drying throat, your eyes locking onto the boy in front of you. He was a mirror of his brother, and yet at the same time almost everything was different about him. To the small freckle on the side of his neck, all the way down to his face structure. George was a few mill shorter than Fred to.

“George..” you warned, your voice barely above a soft whisper.

“I heard that you and Fred aren’t together-” he started.

“You’ve heard wrong, George.” Okay, it wasn’t a complete lie. Although you and Fred weren’t exactly official, the two of you were still respectively loyal to one another. You couldn’t tell people that though, especially not George. Imagine the rumours that would circulate if you jumped from one Weasley to another! “If I’m so wrong, then why haven’t you moved?”

He was right.

This was wrong.

Everything about it was so completely messed up that you knew you had to stop it.

And yet you made no move to do so.

“Tell me to stop,” George almost pleaded, like he was fighting with himself to. He had to know that every aspect of this situation was wrong. You sat in silence as you watched his slender fingers dance along your thigh, the feather touch he had causing goosebumps to erupt across your skin. His hands were warm, his palm resting against the inside of your thigh while his fingers fiddled with the bottom of your skirt. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears, and you were sure George could to. He had shifted closer to you, his long orange locks falling over his face as he watched you through his lashes. It would be a lie to say you weren’t attracted to him, that his movements didn’t cause a wetness to pool just behind your clothed core. You felt his breath fan across your face when you shifted in your seat to try and relieve some of the friction building between your legs. He was so close to you, nearly close enough to..

You sat back, reaching down to take his hand in yours. George’s lust blown eyes met yours, and he was reminded instantly just who you were and the severity of the matter. What was he thinking?

Better yet, what were YOU thinking?

“I’m flattered George,” your voice was harsh, probably due to the fact that every bit of saliva had dried from your mouth and made it nearly impossible for you to speak. “But we shouldn’t,” you stood, holding his hand a second longer before releasing his hold. “I look forward to seeing how your ageing potion turns out.”

He wanted to throw himself off the astronomy tower, his face was nearly as red as his hair. He was so embarrassed. He hadn’t known what came over him, one moment he was looking at you, admiring how beautiful he thought you were, and the next he was trying to cop a feel right in the library. And the most absurd thing; you hadn’t acted instantly to stop him!

He pulled himself to his feet, hurriedly shoving his books into his bag before leaving the library to find Fred. The ageing potion had been an irrational thought souley conjured in that moment to impress you. If he was being honest, he had no idea the repercussions the plan could have. He just wanted to seem cool to you. Never would he think that you would actually want to see it. So he set off to search for his brother and fill him in on his idea - leaving out the part about you of course - and hoping that you hadn’t told him what his brother just tried to do.

He needed to sort out his priorities.

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karasimpno · 3 years

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Karasimpno’s Top 10 Posts of 2020!

Thank you so much to Jade (@honeybunny-sawamura) for tagging me in this and giving me a reason to celebrate myself! And also because I didn’t get around to doing an end of year appreciation post! First, here are my top ten posts of the year (based both on the stats and my personal preferences ;) ), and then I’m gonna talk a lil about folks I’m super grateful for!!!!

HQ Boys Seeing their S/O in Lingerie

This one kicked off my winter writing mini-marathon hahaha! I’m pretty proud of it - just some good ole fashioned boys lovin their sexy partner in lingerie!! Ft. Atsumu, Akaashi, Suga, Iwaizumi, and Sakusa

Bokuto//Back Muscles//2pm

Need I say more? Bokuto smut as a part of my 2:25 event! SMUT

Run Away With Me ft. Suga

Suga rushes over to your place to ask you a very important question. Whaddaya say? Fluff, part of my 25 Days of Ficmas event!

Sick Day ft. Akaashi

Ugh this one was so self indulgent for my Akaashi simping self but yeah. Things get a lil heated w Akaashi before he realizes your forehead is a lil heated and exerting yourself is the LAST thing you should be doing. Fluff with a dash of spice. Part of fluffvember!

The Party Goes With You ft. Kuroo

You don’t know his name, but you’re almost certain you’re in love with him. Mystery man Kuroo sweeps you off your feet during winning dances in the high-stakes poker game you deal for. Angsty, part of my 25 Days of Ficmas event!

What Happens If I Do This? Ft. Oikawa

You’ve been working hard and Oikawa just wants to make you feel better... fluff that gets a lil spicy (the best kind of fluff)

Graduation Button Ft. Kenma

This was such a sweet request I got where Kenma gives you his button at graduation. Fluff!

(Un)Wedded Bliss Ft. HardDom!Ennoshita

You and Ennoshita attend a wedding together, and dang if he doesn’t look good in a suit. It gets you thinking ideas that should probably wait until you get home, but Ennoshita’s gonna make you wait as long as possible before that happens. SMUT

Who Will Say It First? Ft. Asahi

You and your best friend are nearing the end of your high school year. Maybe it’s time you’re both honest with each other. Fluff:)

If I Loved You ft. Ushijima

You meet college volleyball star Ushijima Wakatoshi at the end of your senior year, not looking to get involved with anyone new. But a discussion about hypotheticals and a perfect night may end up surprising you. Fluff, part of my 25 Days of Ficmas event

Thank you so much to ALL OF YOU for following and liking and reblogging and commenting, it means the world to me and I read every one. I seriously do it for the serotonin hahahaha so I appreciate each and every one of you. Below the cut are some folks that I’ve particularly gotten joy from ilygsm

@chiefest-and-greatest-calamity you were literally my first follower and continue to be my biggest fan. I’ll never know what you see so much in my writing but I can’t tell you how much your support means to me. I love u SO MUCH and thank you for bringing a smile to my face with memes every day:) ily

@ceo-of-daichi LYDIA you were like one of my first ten followers and the first person to really encourage me to write smut heheheh so thank you for that. But beyond that, YOU’RE SO TALENTED I remember being floored when you followed me it felt like the beginning of making big strides for me. You were a huge role model to me in how I structured my blog and writing and stuff and it’s been so lovely to interact with you

@mrs-kuroojinguji aaaaa darling you’re so wonderful!! I’m so glad we’re moots and I love reading your writing!!!

@azo-musxas ugh GOD I PROMISE I’M GETTING TO YOUR OIKAWA REQ I’m sorry it’s taken forever!!! Ily please forgive me, I love going feral with you and seeing your comments on my posts <3

@heauxzenji IT WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST HONOR WHEN YOU FOLLOWED ME!!!!!! I adore everything you write and I just think you’re the coolest cucumber. You’re like hq tumblr royalty; I’m so glad we’re moots, thank you for being amazing <3

@honeybunny-sawamura JADE YOU ABSOLUTE ANGEL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Idk what I did to be blessed by your constant love and support, you’re amazing and I love your writing, thank you for being such an incredible cheerleader

@tsumurai ILYSM you’re so cool I’m so glad we’re moots. You were such an incredible support during the 25 days of ficmas event and it meant so much to me!!

@waitforitillwritemywayout AAAA Sabi I’m so glad we interact so much now!! You used to really intimidate me bc I love everything about your blog but it warms my heart to know you a little better now:):)

@alto-march-of-death AL YOU ANGEL it’s been so good to get to know you recently, thank you so much for interacting so often, you’re such a sweetheart and I feel like we’re very similar :) makes me happy to see you on my dash

@kodzurin ugh. Darling. I love you so much. I love seeing you interact with all your character anons (yes all of them, but especially one ;) ) and I’m so glad we’re moots. I love your work and I selfishly hope you post more of it!!!

@daichis-kitty Kat you are my whole life omg your comments and tags on my posts recently mean the WORLD TO ME and you just fill my heart with joy ILYSM THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE N SUPPORT

@keishinslove I’m so GLAD we bonded over our love for Ukai Keishin, 26, high school volleyball coach last week like I just felt like I had a kindred spirit there and I’m so glad we met <3

@helloaisabelle AISY I - I’m so grateful that we chatted for so long the other night about writing and everything. Your writing is seriously incredible and it was so nice to just talk about writing in general. I know we like just became moots but I really kinda already consider you a friend haha I just really enjoyed talking to you and I think you’re wonderful <3

@lovingseijoh, @datech, @chaotickatts, @kenmasbb, @b0ba-chan, @aiiishiiiteru, @tetsurolls, @atsubos, @softsakusa, @prettysetterbaby I still cannot beLIEVE each of you follows me. Y’all are like hq tumblr royalty to me and I’m so GRATEFUL that you follow me. Thank you for being such inspirations and for making me so excited to be here. Thank you thank you thank you.

@karasunobbys, @matsukipple, @kingdoms--night--star, @crescentsteel @tsumtsumland see you guys on my dash all the time and it makes me happy!!!

and of course I’d be remiss if I didn’t give the BIGGEST THANK U to @bluntkingkuroo for getting me into this show, for beta reading all my shit, for indulging me in tom foolery, and for generally being a great friend. so grateful I’ve known you this long!!!! thank u for enabling me lol

#elle speaks

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xiaomomowrites · 3 years

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home

Genshin Impact | TartaLi/ZhongChi

Summary: “Home isn’t always a place,” he taps Zhongli’s chest, “home can mean a lot of things to different people. For me, my home is my family. Wherever they are is where my home is. And maybe that’s in Liyue, maybe it’s in Snezhnaya, or maybe it’s in Inazuma. Either way, wherever my mother is, wherever my siblings are, that’s what I call home.”

As Childe trails off, he’s suddenly aware of how he’s fidgeting with a button on Zhongli’s coat now. The tips of his ears turn red. He meets his gaze abashedly. “Does that answer your question?”

Zhongli smiles fondly at him. “I believe it does. Thank you for indulging me.”

Or; Zhongli struggles to define what exactly “home” means to him.

Find it on Ao3!

This part takes place between act V and Zhongli, Come Down. I know I posted this series totally out of order, please forgive me for my lack of organization :,D

A/N: First of all, I finally have a beta reader!! She’s helped me through the process of writing this and I’m incredibly thankful for her support. I accidentally made her cry with this fic though, even if it wasn’t necessarily sad?? Regardless I appreciate her feedback haha.

Oh my, I feel like I’ve been writing these two being really soft for too long. After this, I really need to face the music and write these two fighting. The time has come. They won’t be in the honeymoon phase forever!! I’m gonna vibe check all of you.

Also, do yourself a favor and listen to the songs Home by Michael Buble and Sparks by Coldplay after or during you read this. You’re welcome.

Lastly, you can find me on Twitter @/xiaoscribbles where I’m extremely active and talk too much about Genshin. I love making friends there!

Enjoy <3 -u.n.

Zhongli never had a place to call home.

Or rather, he never bothered to find one of his own and commit to it.

He was always too mobile, too nomadic. He had places to be, people and adepti to see, contracts to see through. Zhongli never found himself settling into one place for too long. Sure, when he was Rex Lapis, he had nested many times. He was a beast whose presence was too large to be confined into one space, so he would glide to the highest mountain in Liyue with ample space for a dragon like him, and settle. Zhongli remembered how he would make it as comfortable as possible for himself using all kinds of things he would pick up on his travels. A deep purr of satisfaction would rumble through him as his scaled belly would make contact with the coolness of the earth, and Rex Lapis would allow himself to relax against the stone, body sinking as if he were weightless. Although, no matter how he shifted, tossed and turned when he tried to rest, something was always missing.

Even the familiar feeling of the Liyuan ground was not enough to fill the void in his chest.

It was satisfying, sure, but never completing.

Hence, his lack of understanding of the human desire to settle down in one home for the rest of their short, yet meaningful lives.

Were they not itching to get up and go somewhere else? See the world? Appreciate the land beneath their feet in all its entirety? Zhongli failed to comprehend. Even an ancient being like him fell short in understanding the idea of a “home”.

Well, what consisted of a home, anyway? Four walls and a roof over their heads? A kitchen filled with food? A soft bed with layers and layers of sheets? What was the meaning of all that, when the true beauty of the world was beyond those four walls, high into the sky, and deep beneath the sea? What kind of pleasure could possibly come out of being domesticated?

Nevertheless, Zhongli did make an old promise to try to understand humans as they were. So sure, Zhongli supposed he could appreciate the art of architecture. He saw how hard people worked to build these beautiful houses with intricate designs to maximize safety for the residents excited to inhabit them. It was endearing, Zhongli thought, how enthusiastic humans got about a house. The idea of settling down with their loved ones would give them so much serotonin, so much drive. It was inspiring to him. Zhongli had always hoped that one day, he could feel the same way about someone.

So why couldn’t bring himself to understand the joy in this “home” everyone spoke of? What was he missing? Was he missing the duvet? The one thousand thread count sheets? Was he missing the fine China he saw peddlers selling on roads far from town? Because he had tried his best, living in his mortal form, to find the simple pleasure in decorating his home.

But no matter what he did, no matter how many throw pillows he placed on the couch, he simply could not deny the gaping hole in his chest when he went to bed at night. He had reached a point where even cooking for one every night upset him so, and he would go to bed disgruntled and hollow. The vast margins left on the king sized bed in the middle of the night kept Zhongli awake. Though he did not even need sleep, he had tried his best to form what the humans called a “proper sleeping schedule”. Apparently, according to Hu Tao, sleeping at four in the morning and waking at seven for work was “not suitable”.

But in truth, what was he supposed to do? Pray tell, what could he possibly do to absolve the issue of the chasm growing in his chest with each passing night?

“Xiansheng!” A jovial voice snaps him out of his reverie.

Zhongli looks up from his mundane paperwork to see a familiar head of red hair bounding toward him languidly. Oh, what a sight for sore eyes.

“Childe,” he greets, “did you pester Miss Hu Tao into letting you back here again?”

“Pester?” Childe brings a hand to his chest to mock his hurt, “I hardly have to bother her to come back here. A simple ‘you look fantastic today’ is always my ticket in.”

Zhongli scoffs fondly. “How can I help you, Childe?” He sets his pen down and leans back in his chair, amber eyes following the Harbinger curiously.

“Well your break is in ten minutes, so I figured I’d come grab you for lunch at Wanmin?” Childe plants two hands flat on the cherry red oak desk and leans forward into Zhongli’s space. There’s his signature teasing smile spreading slyly across his face, the one he knows Zhongli won’t be able to resist.

Zhongli hums in approval. “Sure, let me just wrap up this last form and I should be ready to go shortly.”

Childe drops down to his elbows in response and rests his face between his palms. “You sure? We could just go now, you know. I got Hu Tao consulting Ying’er about the new fragrance for the next hour or so.”

Zhongli leans forward and meets him in the middle. “I must be responsible, Childe. If my lunch break is at noon, then I will not leave my post until then.”

Childe pouts, jutting his bottom lip out cutely in an attempt to convince him otherwise. Zhongli, immovable as ever, simply leans forward and captures his lips between his own. The Harbinger makes a happy noise in the back of his throat and presses closer, positively humming when the ex-Archon reciprocates. But the older man is quick to get back to work, pulling away as quick as he came, but not before he nips at Childe’s bottom lip. The ginger whines petulantly at the loss of contact.

“Have a seat, Ajax.” Zhongli speaks, a hair’s width away from kissing him again. Childe grumbles, but agrees regardless. He seats himself in one of the plush armchairs located in the corner of the office and makes himself comfortable for the next ten minutes.

Zhongli readjusts himself in his seat and picks his pen back up, glancing back down at the form he had already completed. He blinked owlishly at it. He must have finished signing it while Childe was talking without realizing what he had done. Regardless, he moves onto the next document to peruse silently. Mid sentence, he scoffs playfully, shaking his head at the thought of the ginger distracting him so. Is he even surprised at this point? Not even a little bit. The ginger has an incomprehensible hold on his heart, one that he doesn’t really want to shake off.

“Something funny, Xiansheng?” Childe teases from his seat. He’s reclined in his chair, relaxed, head lolling against the cushioned headrest. His eyes are closed and his shoulders are drooping into the leather. He’s relaxed, for once, and the thought of Ajax allowing himself to let his guard down in his presence makes Zhongli’s heart thump happily in his chest.

“Not particularly,” Zhongli pushes himself up with a groan. Goodness, his joints are getting tired. He pads over to where Childe is seated and forcefully makes room for himself on a chair that is clearly made for one person. Childe lets out a surprised yelp at the sudden intrusion but scoots over to make room, anyway. Zhongli makes himself comfortable by angling his body to where it’s being cradled by the junction between the armrest and the back, and opens his arms as a silent invitation.

Childe takes it happily and launches forward to burrow into Zhongli’s chest. He rests a gloved hand over his heart and snuggles closer, inhaling the deep scent of silk flowers and leather. Zhongli’s arms come around to strap him against his chest, gloved hands petting his sides as he presses a kiss to red hair. The contact immediately vanquishes the discourse in his mind. He squeezes him tight for good measure, forcing a grunt out of his Tartaglia.

“Xiansheng,” he calls.

“Hm?”

“You’re working too hard again.”

“Am I?” He questions absentmindedly. “And here I thought I was pulling my weight just fine.”

Childe snorts. “Pulling your weight? You know I make enough for the both of us. You could retire and stay at home, relaxing and reading books, or whatever it is you do at home.”

Ah, there it is again.

Home.

For the second time that day, Zhongli is struck with confusion.

“What is home to you, Childe?” He asks, voice soft and far away. Childe frowns against his chest in confusion.

“Home?” He parrots.

“Yes, home. What is ‘home’ to you, Tartaglia?”

“Hmm,” the Harbinger hums, tapping a gloved finger against the ex-Archon’s chest idly as he speaks. “I suppose home is Snezhnaya. Home is what I grew up in. The unbearable cold and the old cottage house. Ice fishing with my siblings, massaging my mother’s back. Those things are all home to me.”

Zhongli ponders. Of course that is what home means. Familiarity, yes? So, technically, his home was Liyue. The hustle and bustle of trade by the harbor, the loud sizzling woks at the food stands, the loud marketers on the street that work hard day and night, the enthusiastic story tellers spewing exaggerated lies— that was all home to him.

So why, then, was Zhongli still dissatisfied with this conclusion? Home should obviously be Liyue. He created this land with his own two hands. Gave people the very drive that keeps them alive today; he gave the idea of mora and fair trade and economic prosperity. He’s watched countless faces pass him every day, every year, every century. He’s seen new faces, young faces, old faces, familiar faces, too, the ones he had seen on older souls. Reincarnated souls. Zhongli knew those souls. He’s had dinner with many of them on multiple occasions.

And it was no secret that Zhongli was well known in his hometown. Every business owner was familiar with his eloquent way of speaking and ambitious ways of buying. With the arrival of Childe, every business owner all but doubled their enthusiasm now that Mister Zhongli finally had a means to pay. People knew Zhongli, they adored him. They admired his amber eyes and long, beautiful hair, the ends of it looking like it had been dipped in melted mora. When he walked, people’s eyes followed. They would stare longingly at his beautifully crafted coat, his single earring, the fine leather gloves that cover his deft hands, and they would admire the way he walked with purpose, and with fire. A confidence so set in stone, it was almost difficult for one to even approach Mister Zhongli. For so long, he was considered Liyue’s most handsome bachelor, until of course Tartaglia came along and swept him off of his feet, capturing his attention in a way no one else could ever imagine imitating.

Yet, despite all the attention his people lavished upon him, there was always a nagging feeling of isolation nipping at him in the back of his mind. Despite creating the very ground beneath their feet, he simply felt like he did not fit in. Only when he was with Tartaglia did he truly feel like he belonged anywhere. It was rather inexplicable. There was something about the way Tartagali’s presence wrapped around him with a level of tenderness he had never experienced. It covered him like a gentle embrace, welcomed him without judgement, and loved him without expecting anything in return. The thought of Ajax himself made Zhongli’s heart swell

Speaking of which, the said man was now pressed tightly against his chest tracing lazy patterns into the fabric of his coat. Their long legs were tangled where they were dangling off the seat, with Tartaglia’s foot rubbing affectionately against the older man’s ankle.

Oh, how far they have come.

“But,” Tartaglia suddenly interjects, jolting Zhongli out of his thoughts. “If my family were to come here to Liyue to stay, then I suppose Liyue would be home, too.”

Zhongli hums. “Naturally. I’m sure they would find the variety of houses here in Liyue nice and peaceful, perfect for a new home.”

At that, Childe lets out a light laugh. “Honestly? They could live in a cardboard box in Inazuma, and I would still call that home.”

Zhongli frowns. Well now he’s even more confused than when he started. Since when was a cardboard box a suitable home for a human? It completely lacked all the appliances the houses here in Liyue had. Why would Childe settle for that? He of all people was aware of the love he holds for his family, there simply was no way he would call that a suitable home for his family.

“I don’t understand,” he says instead, “a cardboard box, Tartaglia? You do not strike me as the type to settle for such an...unbecoming home. Especially for your family.”

“No, no, Xiansheng,” the Harbinger chuckles, sitting up slightly so he can look Zhongli in the eye. “I was just exaggerating. And, home isn’t always supposed to be a house, you know. Those two things can be mutually exclusive. Maybe not all the time, but, definitely most of the time.”

Well this was certainly new. Now he truly did not understand what it meant to have a home.

“Apparently I do not know.”

Childe sits upright to look down at the ex-Archon.

“Home isn’t always a place,” he taps Zhongli’s chest, “home can mean a lot of things to different people. For me, my home is my family. Wherever they are is where my home is. And maybe that’s in Liyue, maybe it’s in Snezhnaya, or maybe it’s in Inazuma. Either way, wherever my mother is, wherever my siblings are, that’s what I call home.”

Childe is aware he’s rambling, but he can’t help it. Once he starts talking about his siblings, he simply cannot stop. “It wouldn’t matter where I was if I couldn’t hear my siblings from the other room. If I didn’t wake up to Tonia’s loud blow dryer every morning, or if I didn’t hear Anthon trying to talk to her over the blowing, then it isn’t home. If I can’t hear Teucer’s footsteps coming toward me asking about a new Mr. Cyclops toy, it isn’t home. Not to me. But like I said, it’s different for everyone.”

Zhongli smiles fondly at him. “I believe it does. Thank you for indulging me.”

Childe pushes himself up and off the chair, stretching and yawning obnoxiously. “Great,” he replies once his jaw finishes unhinging itself from that yawn, “let’s eat, I’m starving.”

—

To put it simply, Zhongli rethinks his definition of home all night. After he gets home from his dinner date (Tartaglia tugged on his sleeves until he agreed to leave his shift early in favor of a new restaurant that had popped up recently), he closes the door behind him to take in the composition of his home. Tartaglia had been the one to pick out most of the furniture, so although it lacked many of the traditional Liyuan decor Zhongli would have furnished the place with himself, it had a nice touch of Tartaglia everywhere he went.

His couch, for example, was a deep mahogany leather that stayed cool to the touch despite the hottest of summers. Zhongli’s dresser was nice and tall, a deep chestnut brown cut from the forests of Snezhnaya to match his bed frame. His bed was elevated by an incredibly grandiose four post frame that hung a beautiful golden translucent curtain all around the bed, draping the perimeter and creating an ethereal atmosphere for when he sleeps at night.

(“It’s kinda sexy, don’t you think?” Childe had asked one day, while he was pondering which bed frame to buy for his boyfriend. Not that he needed to, considering Zhongli finally has a stable salary, he just wanted to.

“Ajax,” Zhongli had said disapprovingly, “what about it is sexy to you?

“I don’t knowww,” the Harbinger hums, “maybe it looks like I would feel like I’m on cloud nine when we’re, you know…”

“You can say sex, Ajax, I believe in you.”

“Oh stop that!” Childe whacks him playfully with the catalogue, “I’m being a good boyfriend and getting you a beautiful bed frame cut from the finest oak tree and sheets woven with high quality silk! You could be nicer to me, you know.” He’s pouting, and he knows it. Zhongli’s eyes soften.

Zhongli shakes his head, laughing. “You know you don’t need to do that, you know.”

“I want to,” Ajax persists, “this is your first actual living space as a mortal! I want it to be perfect. I refuse to have my boyfriend, who is a literal god, sleeping on a bed with no bed frame. Unacceptable.”

Zhongli smiles and watches him as he continues to ramble about all the different bed frames he could buy. Oh, his love for this boy knows no end.)

The hints of Ajax everywhere he goes is how he keeps himself sane each night. His possessive urge to be around him every second of every day (courtesy of being a dragon deity his entire six thousand year life span) is soothed with the smell of him on his sheets and the extra toothbrush by the sink. One of Tartaglia’s scarves is folded neatly on the arm of his couch, and during those nights where he truly feels Ajax’s absence, he’ll hold the red fabric close and breathe the scent in deeply. The smell alone is enough to rock him to sleep on some nights, but on others, it simply is not enough. On those nights, he finds himself reading book after book about Snezhnaya culture until he passes out from exhaustion.

One would think that it would be better for them to just live together. Given that they spent every second outside of work with each other, even going so far as walking the long route home just to avoid saying goodbye, a person would look at the way they held each other close in public and think that they’ve been married for quite some time already.

But alas, they had agreed to take their relationship slow in the beginning. The both of them had much to adjust to, given that one of them was a notoriously fierce Harbinger, and the other was an ex-Archon adjusting to the world without his gnosis. They both had complex schedules that they were much too familiar and comfortable with to just up and leave for another person. There was a certain period of time that they had agreed to spend apart, well, as “apart” as they could be, before they decided to do anything drastic, like move in together.

There was too much to consider, anyway, Zhongli reflects as he gets ready for bed. Would their living habits even align? Would Tartaglia even be a good roommate? Would he take out the trash responsibly? As much as he loves the ginger with his entire heart, he doesn’t think he could do it for long if Tartaglia was the type to walk around with shoes on. Such an act should be considered illegal, anyway.

Waiting was the right thing to do.

Right?

The nights Tartaglia spent with him were the nights he could sleep a full, uninterrupted eight hours. They were the nights that Zhongli felt himself truly relax into the sheets and sink into a blissful sleep, knowing his beloved was being held impossibly close. And if nighttime was therapeutic for him, mornings felt ethereal. The mornings where he rose with the sun to be met with the sight of Tartaglia next to him were the mornings he felt like he could fly again, and soar through the open Liyue skies in his rawest form forever, so long as Tartaglia was with him.

In fact, more often than not, Zhongli thought about the way it would feel to have Childe by his side as he explored the skies again. He would think about the way he would have to strap him down, nice and close so he doesn’t fall off his back, and then take off high into the sky. Not too high, lest he accidentally give his boyfriend a heart attack, but high enough to hear those delightful shrieks Childe will let out when he’s excited. He thinks about the way Childe could grasp onto his mane for security, hands threading through golden locks, legs tightening around his torso to avoid falling. Oh, he thinks about this a lot.

But, waiting was the right thing to do. The last thing he wanted was for Childe to feel uncomfortable with the pace that their relationship was going and make him uneasy. Besides, just because he was a possessive dragon at heart, it didn’t mean Ajax was willing to cater to his needy tendencies. So, he promised himself that he would create a reasonable distance between them for the time being.

Why then, did he hate this distance with every fiber of his being?

Why is the distance so unbearable, especially at night?

Why is he so unsettled with the very few miles between them? It’s not like Zhongli is in Liyue and Childe is in Snezhnaya. Tartaglia is literally only at the inn.

Yet he craves nothing more but to be close to him at all times. Zhongli’s skin itches with the desperate desire to feel him by his side when he goes to bed, when he wakes up, and all the moments in between. Does that make him clingy? Maybe. But old habits die hard.

Zhongli huffs and looks down at his flattened pillow with disdain. No amount of fluffing will restore it to a state that is suitable for his likes. Even the elegantly woven silk night robe wrapped around his body offers little to no comfort.

He glances at the clock.

It’s only half past midnight. If all went well with Tartaglia’s shift, he should be home now, fresh out of the shower.

Without thinking twice, Zhongli throws together an overnight bag and rushes out the door.

—

“Coming, I’m coming,” Childe calls to the incessant knocks at his door. The knuckles continue to rap against the barrier, though, and Childe’s fingers itch to summon a water blade in the case that things go south. Considering that there is rarely anyone that would dare to disturb him at this time of night, Childe would say his precautionary measures are reasonable. He had summoned an angry water god, after all. It was only a matter of time before the angry mobs got to him.

The knocks sound again, and Childe angrily ruffles his hair against the towel. If they could just wait one second, he could answer the door with dry hair, but no. Peace was not an option, apparently, and neither was a perfectly fluffed head of hair.

He stomps toward the door and swings it open, ready to scold whoever had—

“Xiansheng!” He startles when he sees Zhongli standing in the doorway, donning a simple black t-shirt tucked into high waisted pants that were loose and slightly flared at the bottom, and his feet were covered by simple strappy sandals. Childe vaguely remembers purchasing those pants for him when he had mentioned wanting more loose and liberating clothes. The ex-Archon looks good like this. He looks… impossibly soft. Vulnerable, almost. There’s a distant look in his amber eyes that has Childe mildly concerned, though. Childe tries to ignore the sudden urge to protect him to his last dying breath.

“What are you doing here?” He sidesteps and reaches out to drag his boyfriend in. “I thought we had already discussed you sleeping so late! I know you’re an adeptus, you don’t require sleep, blah blah blah, but still, you—“

“I missed you,” Zhongli stated so matter of factly. “I wanted to see you. So I came here.”

Childe gawks at him and closes the door slowly. So he had just walked all the way here?! At this hour?! Goodness, the audacity—

“Xiansheng,” he whines instead, dragging the older man into an embrace. He wraps his arms around his neck and presses his cheek into his hair. “You can’t just say those things. It’s impossible for me to love you more.”

Zhongli holds him with desperation, welcoming the hug so enthusiastically that Childe knows there’s something to be said.

“Can I stay the night?” The adeptus asks once they pull apart.

Childe looks at him, dumbfounded. “You don’t even need to ask! Go, make yourself comfortable. Are you hungry? Have you had dinner?”

Zhongli drops his bag by his side of the bed and takes a seat, still watching Childe with careful eyes.

“I’ve eaten,” he answers carefully. “I just couldn’t seem to get comfortable at… home… so I came here.”

Childe frowns, and joins him on the bed. He flips the covers open and clambers in, resting back against the headboard. “Not comfortable? Is something wrong with your place?”

“Maybe,” Zhongli tries, “I really don’t know. Frankly I’ve been conflicted about… many things… recently, and I feel as if I have reached an impasse. I don’t know where to go from here.”

“Zhongli,” Tartaglia says, suddenly serious, “how come this is the first time I’m hearing of this?” His voice drops an octave, the worry seeping into his tone.

Zhongli reclines and rests against the headrest, too. “I did not know how to express my troubles to you, mainly because I’m having trouble defining it myself.”

Well, that’s fair enough. Tartaglia can’t find it in himself to be mad at that reasoning.

“Well,” Tartaglia begins, reaching for Zhongli’s hand and hugging his arm to his chest. He scoots closer and uses Zhongli’s shoulder as a pillow. “Why don’t you just start rambling and maybe it’ll come to you.”

“I think I have a vague idea, actually,” Zhongli adjusts himself to make himself more comfortable for Ajax. The both of them find themselves staring up at the ceiling as they converse. “Remember when I asked you what ‘home’ means to you?”

“Of course,” Tartaglia answers. Oh, he has an idea of where this is going.

“Well, I’m unsure of what it means to me.”

Bingo.

“What it means to you?” The Harbinger asks, craning his neck to look up at him. Zhongli hums, affirmative.

“Yes, I’ve been struggling to define the term for myself. I’ve been observing others much more closely and how they define their own home, but I’m afraid it has made me more confused.”

Tartaglia juts out his bottom lip in contemplation. “What do you mean?”

Zhongli takes a deep breath, a long explanation at the tip of his tongue. Tartaglia braces himself, as he usually does.

“Today you told me home was your family. Miss Xiangling told me home was her father, and the smell of their kitchen. Young Xingqiu told me his home was within whatever book he was reading, even describing it as his safe space. And Miss Ningguang, most peculiar of all, had told me home was when she was out at sea, but only when Captain Beidou was by her side. Mind you, I had fully expected it to be the Jade palace, considering the built it from the ground up.” Zhongli rambles, “and I just found it strange how so many humans find different definitions for the word home. Such a simple word, too, so imagine my surprise when I discover it’s true complexity.”

“I’ve encountered many things in my life, Ajax. I have met so many people in this lifetime and watched them grow, watched them die, and even watched some be reincarnated. But I think…” he trails off, and the warmth in his eyes glimmer as he reaches an epiphany. “I think I am struggling to define the term because I have never been presented with the idea of stability. Things are always changing. The world around me continues to warp and I have noticed, in my time so far, that humans find the need for stability and reassurance because of the nature of their short lives. That is where I am lacking.”

—

Try as he might, Tartaglia takes slight offense to his statement.

Lacking stability? The thought was bitter on his tongue.

Was… was Childe not enough?

No, no, he forcefully derailed that train of thought, he came here tonight because you’re the only thing he can rely on in his life right now. Show him that.

“Well,” Childe starts carefully, and thanks the stars that his voice is steady. “What about me?”

Zhongli makes a confused noise. “What about you?”

“Do you consider me as a stable thing in your life?” Childe prods, digging his cheek deeper into his shoulder.

“Oh, absolutely not,” Zhongli snorts.

Childe unironically feels an ache in his chest. He stills against Zhongli. Ouch.

Luckily, Zhongli is at least able to pick up on his sudden discomfort, and he’s quick to follow up his statement.

“You misunderstand, Ajax, you being wildly chaotic is a beautiful thing in and of itself.” Zhongli gently pries Childe off his arm to look at him directly. As expected, Childe is upset. He’s got the same glassy eyes he always dons when he’s upset, but doesn’t want to admit it, and his bottom lip is red and obviously bitten in an attempt to keep himself from feeling unreasonably angry.

“Oh,” Zhongli coos at the sight, “I’m sorry my love, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s fine,” Childe blinks hard, “I’m just being dumb.”

“You’re not being dumb,” Zhongli is quick to negate his self-deprecative tendencies, “I must have come off very harsh just now. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Childe thumps a fist against his chest, “it’s fine, really.”

“As I was saying,” the Archon continues, “nothing about my life so far has been stable, Ajax. Things are constantly changing. Time continuously flows, and it simply does not wait for any man. Unfortunately, I have seen many people come and go. And unfortunately, one day you will become one of them--”

“Zhongli stop,” Childe interrupts him. He’s angry, now. His brows are furrowed and there’s an evident frown on his face. There’s a slight scowl across his lips where there used to be a precious smile just moments ago. “What the hell?” He asks angrily.

“Ajax,” Zhongli scolds softly, “it would be in your best interests if you let me finish.”

“Well, not if you’re just gonna talk about death,” Childe retorts. He’s aware that he sounds childish, but such a topic is not to be taken to lightly. Especially when it revolves around him, and what he would be leaving behind. The thought makes him sick to his stomach.

“Whether or not you’re stable, whether or not you’ll be here forever, you are the most important thing to me, probably ever.” He speaks with a certainty that makes Childe shiver. “You are the first person in a very long time that has made me want to try to grasp at the fleeting seconds I have with you, Ajax. You drive me crazy. And I love you for it, because never in my six thousand years have I had as much fun as when I am with you.”

Dammit, Childe is crying now. Zhongli has such a way with words, how could he not? Dating him is just one, huge, glorified emotional rollercoaster. Zhongli brushes a stray, reluctant tear away with the pad of his ungloved hand.

“Frankly, stability is overrated,” the ex-Archon smiles at the soft giggle that escapes his beloved’s lips. “I have found, albeit slowly, that I would rather have someone loud and rambunctious than someone slow and settled. That is my role, if anything. There simply cannot be two of us, can there?”

A soft “no” is huffed as laughter from Childe. What a boring relationship that would be, truly.

“But if it is stability you seek, Ajax, let me be that for you. Let me be here, solid as stone and steadfast. Let me be the pillar of strength you need to turn to in times of trouble. Okay?” He brushes a knuckle gently across his skin.

Childe makes a sound that sounds a little broken and a little delirious. “When did this become about me, Xiansheng?”

“To me, it’s always been about you,” Zhongli smiles fondly. Childe feels as if he’s been shot in the heart.

Childe gives him a shaky smile and nods. He can’t seem to control his heart at the moment, so instead, he says, “You’re my home, Zhongli.”

The gears seemed to finally click somewhere in Zhongli’s chest. The hollow feeling inside suddenly swelled with a sense of nostalgia, bringing with it a feeling of peace and serenity. Zhongli’s eyes widen, and the ex-Archon looks down at Childe with a sudden air of solid certainty. Childe almost shrinks at the intensity of his gaze.

“Of course,” he mutters, mostly to himself. “Of course it’s you.”

“What?”

“How could I be so blind?” Zhongli cups his face with both hands, and Childe reciprocates by placing both palms on his wrists. Confused, but following along. Cor lapis eyes stare straight into his soul, unforgiving as it digs deeper and deeper into what makes him whole.

“Xiansheng?” Ajax asks, dazed by the intensity of Zhongli’s stare. God, his eyes are so golden.

“It’s you, Ajax,” for once, his voice cracks and he loses composure, “you… are home. You are home. To me, that is my definition of home. I only ever feel-- I only ever feel like I belong when I am with you. It was so obvious, and I--”

“Zhongli,” Ajax gently pries off the hands cupped around his face. His heart can’t handle this right now. It’s too much. He’s too in love, he needs to do something or he’ll explode. He stares directly into those beautiful, mesmerizing golden eyes. Ajax cradles Zhongli’s hands in his own, petting over his knuckles, when he asks, “Marry me?”

His eyes widen comically, as if they weren’t already the size of saucepans with his first epiphany.

“Oh.”

So that’s what he was missing.

“I know we said we would take it slow, and I know I’m young, or whatever” Childe begins to ramble, “but fuck going slow, Xiansheng, it’s been months and all I want to do is go to sleep with you next to me. I know what I want and it seems like you do, too, but if I misread that then--”

Zhongli hushes him with an incessant press of his lips against Childe’s. It is a loving kiss, yes, but it is filled with a desperation that only the both of them understand. It is a kiss that is so different from the others; one full of certainty and ambition, a kiss full of overwhelming commitment. The longing behind the contact is an answer in and of itself, but he pulls away to speak regardless.

“Yes,” he breathes, pressing his forehead against Childe’s, “yes.”

That night, Zhongli finally comes to the conclusion that home does not have to mean four walls and a roof. It doesn’t pertain to any kind of fancy kitchen appliances, or four post bed frames. Zhongli quickly learns that it doesn’t have to be about a place, and all the stories it tells. It’s not even Liyue, the very land he built himself. It has nothing to do with any of that. In fact, the sheer ridiculousness of Zhongli’s inner conflict has him rolling.

Instead, it has everything to do with the red head beneath him. It has to do with the way he calls his name in the middle of the night, claws his hands down his back and juts his hips forward, desperately seeking friction. Home has everything to do with swollen lips, red from being kissed, cheeks hot pink from the heat slowly filling the room, and strong thighs clenching and unclenching around his waist. Home has to do with his precious Snezhnayan soulmate.

Simply, home is Ajax.

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