#both of them have issues with randos touching them

[thatkoiboi]

I like to call them the Banana Pancakes duo because April is yellow like a banana and Donnie's shell looks like a pancake

also just because i have no idea what their duo name is

#they kiddos #both of them have issues with randos touching them #with april it is specifically her hair #both of them dont mind when it is people they care about *cough* fam *cough* #donnies case is a lil different though of course #autistic donnie #banana pancakes duo #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt april #april oniel #turtle tots

[hadesrise]

heart of gold, heart of cold.

summary ➳ you’re much more than just the nicest boy in southside chicago

pairings ➳ ian gallagher x male reader x mickey milkovich

warnings ➳ fluff, foul language, violence, soft boy!reader, homophobia, established polyamorous relationship, absolute badassery lol, mentions of sex, a little apathy, small mention of blood, good but actually not trope, some mental issues

author’s note ➳ haven’t watched shameless, only gallavich scenes and few other moments. my anger issues can’t handle watching all of that. which is why none of my writing of them’s gonna be accurate to the timeline of the series.

Ian and Mickey couldn’t remember the time you were ever mean to anyone even before meeting you, had never even heard of your name being thrown around without it being extremely positive. Everyone had to say everything about you, which is understandable, considering you were definitely the odd type to be in southside Chicago — this place was full of shit with robbery being nonchalantly committed, guns shooting off in different areas, bunch of unconvicted pedophiles walking around, and teenagers high on whatever fucking heavy drugs they first could touch, while you’re out there, helping whoever you think might need help and genuinely being nice to even the worst fucking thugs you would ever meet.

It’s questionable, how someone could be in southside and grow up perfectly sane and not bottled up with any issues or anger.

You’ve always been the talk around the neighborhood, how the (L/n) kid helped some randos again, how you talked to them with the nicest personality and utmost respect, how you smile at anyone who passes by whenever you make eye contact with them, how you were calm in dealing with a situation most people would get frustrated at; just about anything positive. It wasn’t difficult for both Ian and Mickey to fall for you as much as they fell for each other. You were like a single flower blooming in the middle of a garden that a person would come back to just to see your beauty; something about your softness and kind personality struck a core into both of their hearts.

They never had someone like you in their life. A calm, soothing, comforting presence, like the warm sun in the morning. An accepting, welcoming presence, like the mother earth. You’ve always been gentle with them — not something they’re used to, considering the type of household they grew up in — always checking in, making sure they’re okay even if they push you away, taking care of them.

You’re one of the first person Ian came out to other than his family, because he knew you’d never judge. Mickey was rather an asshole in your first meet, nearly beating you up, but the way you didn’t snark or your nice demeanor didn’t change no matter what insults he threw at you made him hesitant, which never happened with Milkovich’s.

When they started sleeping together, you caught on it quickly before anyone else ever did and kept it a secret the entire time, knowing the personal problems they had to deal with; Ian and Mickey only found out you knew when you stopped Terry from making Mickey have sex with Svetlana by just walking in on the interaction. The near innocence in your eyes as you tilted your head slightly to the side, just staring at Terry until he grew uncomfortable and rushed off. He could never stand being near to you, especially with how holier than thou you were. It wasn’t actually an accident to walk in, but they don’t know that.

Despite the awkward circumstances, you were calm and paid Svetlana a good amount before getting both of them dressed and taking care of them, even though they didn’t have to be taken cared of. Your gentleness with them that time really caused something to burst within their chest, the same feeling they were starting to develop towards each other. The acceptance, the comfort, the gentleness. Everything about you felt magical — you felt magical.

Even after Ian and Mickey figured out their shit together, officially came out, figured out their shit together again that both of them liked you, flirted with you and won you over, and officially came out again to their family as polyamorous couple, they had never seen you be a dick. Sure, you swore a lot sometimes when you drop something or miss something, but never towards anyone. They never saw you doing the typical southside thing, being rebellious, smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, doing drugs or shit.

You’re always nice — and it’s supposed to be a good thing, but it also gets a lot concerning, especially when some dumb fucking guy punched you in the face for mistaking you as someone who slept with his girlfriend and you had the audacity to forgive him when he apologized, making Mickey nearly wanting to strangle you right then and there.

“Why the fuck did you forgive him?” Mickey snarls and shuts the fridge door close, ice pack in hand as he throws it to Ian, who immediately began pressing it to your cheek that was beginning to form a bruise.

You shrugged, “He just mistook me for someone else.”

“Yeah, and fucking punched you in the face without asking first who the fuck you are.” Mickey retorted, giving you a death glare. He moves around to stand beside you on the opposite side of Ian.

You were sitting on the counter facing the dining table where Fiona, Lip, Liam, Carl, Debbie, Sandy, Mandy, and Franny were, all contorting worried look since you’re the nicest and you having a single bruise means when the people you helped before sees it they’re gonna flip over and bury the guy ten feet under while still breathing. Everyone knew you, and you’re literally the holiest within southside, so they naturally hated when someone messed with you.

Your hand shoots up to rub his arm gently, warm look in your eyes as your soft voice speaks to comfort him. “Calm down, Mick. Let it go, I’m fine.” You smile softly, “It was just a little mistake. Everyone makes mistakes.”

Mickey frowns, still angry yet definitely calm now that you’re giving him comfort. “You’re too fucking nice, it’s making me sick.”

You chuckled, grabbing the ice pack from Ian to press it on your cheek yourself. You pull Ian to kiss him on the cheek before doing the same to Mickey, knowing it will help tone down their anger. “At least I have my own guard dogs.” You joke, earning a snicker from the group.

“Haha, very funny.” Mickey sarcastically replies.

Ian sighs, “(Y/n), I think Mickey’s right though. You’re too nice, maybe a bit much. Even to Frank and Terry.” He agreed with his other boyfriend, who puts his hands up in a gesture of i told you so.

You tilted your head, still smiling. “Frank’s your father and Terry’s Mickey’s father. No matter how horrible they are, I don’t think I could treat them any differently from how I treat others.” Shrugging, you ignored both of your boyfriends’ groan and sipped on the orange juice resting on your side.

“What’s up with you treating everyone equally and being unnaturally nice to even someone who doesn’t deserve it?” Fiona asked, genuinely confused with her brows furrowed together and crease forming on her forehead. “You were even nice with Monica.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking for a while.

You could tell them what was really going on, but it would be too much to dump it on them all of a sudden. Being nice and having a lot of patience is a lot difficult, but you learned to, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to survive. It’s a survival skill that you had to adapt to; be nice and you get everything you want. A little... useful tactic that you taught yourself, though it’s more than that.

Deciding against telling them, because it’ll get out when it gets out, you simply gave her a tight-lipped smile and shrugged. “I like spreading dumb kindness. I think it helps people who deals with mental health issues that their relatives probably don’t even know. I might’ve been nice to them and turned their bad day into good day. Small things like that has an impact, you know.”

Mickey scowled, “That makes no sense.”

You simply smiled and patted his cheek, turning to Ian who placed his hand on your waist. “I still think you should’ve done something, (Y/n). Press charges or something.” He said, wanting to convince you.

Shaking your head with a reassuring smile, you kissed his lips and Mickey’s, successfully shutting both of them up as you hopped off of the counter. “I’m going to change. Take me out on a date, will you two?” You let your hands linger on each of their arm before walking away with an angelic smile, leaving the boys staring after you in slight awe.

“Oh my god, you two are so fucking smitten with him.” Sandy remarked, laughing. The others nodded in agreement, deeply amused.

Ian and Mickey rolled their eyes, “The fuck we’re not.” Mickey denies, though failing to convince them and himself.

“But you are,” Lip shrugged. “He’s got you wrapped all around his finger.”

“Kinda cute if you ask me,” Fiona chuckles.

“Oh, fuck off.” Ian retorts, a smile across his face.

Neither would admit it, but they really were. Equally smitten with one another, your relationship had always been wholesome, except for the times all three of you were friends with benefits.

Ian and Mickey slept together first obviously, only started hooking up with you after the incident with Terry. Mickey was first to do it when he went to your house to spend time with you since you’re the only person he could trust aside from Ian, the casual conversation taking a turn after he had asked if you would fuck him if you were gay, which you told him you were, causing Mickey to literally demand a fuck from you.

“Hey, man?” Mickey slowly called to you who was sitting on the opposite side of the ridiculously big couch, eyes focused on the movie with a can of coke in your hand.

“Hm?” You hum, turning to look at him despite being completely indulged in the movie plot. Mickey liked that, how you’re willing to give him your full attention even though you’re busy and don’t even have to look at him at all.

He glances down, picking with his hand, slightly nervous. But he knew you wouldn’t judge, you never did. It was unlikely of him to feel this way, but Mickey couldn’t help it. Nearly unbearable to talk to someone as nice and caring as you yet can’t bring himself to stay away.

“Would you—would you fuck me if you were, you know, fucking gay?”

Your brows raised at the random question. Though it wasn’t difficult to realize it’s because of the previous gay scene in the movie you’re watching where the main characters made love to each other without it being censored and shit. “Well,” You started with a small smile adorning your face, “I don’t know if you knew but I’m actually gay, Milkovich.”

Mickey’s head snapped to your side, eyes wide. “Wait, what? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? Or Ian?”

“You didn’t ask,” You simply shrugged. “I normally don’t go around announcing to everybody what my sexuality is. Kind of weird if I did that,” You joked, earning a glare from the Milkovich. “But honestly, I didn’t think it was something I had to tell you or Ian. I just let people guess or notice it on their own.”

“How the fuck do they even notice?" Mickey remarks, furrowing his brows. “I’ve literally never seen you with any guys or girls. Have you even hooked up with somebody?”

You chuckled, “Nope. Wasn’t really interested.”

“Damn,” Mickey gave you a weird look. It was so odd to see someone in southside not doing drugs or shit, let alone sleeping around with whoever they liked. He wasn’t used to it. Now, you feel like a fucking holy being or something. But then, Mickey realizes you never actually answered his question, so he repeated again. “You didn’t answer my fucking question, would you fuck me?”

You’re gay, so might as well shoot his shot. Can’t really miss this opportunity.

You stare at him, something glinting in your eyes that definitely wasn’t innocence. Your lips slowly formed a sly grin as you tilted your head. “What if I said yes? What are you gonna do?”

A smile appeared on Mickey’s lips, “Then fucking get on with it, (L/n).”

Conveniently, you were a switch so Mickey didn’t have to pretend he didn’t like having dick in his ass. He told Ian he slept with you that came off as surprise since apparently Ian also didn’t know you were gay, which led to Ian sleeping with you as well.

“You’re so weird,” Ian laughed when he caught you stacking some nuggets together to build a makeshift tower, having woken up from a friendly sleepover at your house.

You grinned and stacked the last piece of nugget, looking at Ian as you gestured to your work of art. “Tadaaaa!” It caused him to burst out laughing, sitting down beside you on the couch.

“What are you doing?” Ian asked between laughter.

You shrugged your shoulders, “I was bored and you weren’t waking up anytime soon. Figured I’d kill my time.” Smiling, you offered him a can of beer that was sitting on the table, having just taken out from the fridge. Ian accepted, thanking you. “How did you sleep?”

Ian smiled after taking a gulp from the beer and placed it down on the table, “Great, actually. Like the times I haven’t been able to sleep isn’t real.” Relief was evident on his face, considering how big the bags under his eyes were. He never mentioned that you were the reason of him being unable to fall asleep, always thinking of you ever since that horrible day that suddenly turned great with your presence. Hearing about you sleeping with Mickey made him decide nothing will happen if he just thinks around, thus the sleepover.

A soft look crosses your face as you begin to play with his hair, touch displaying gentleness Ian had never felt before. His eyes met yours, such a warm gaze making him feel loved even without doing anything. “Well, I’m glad the cuddle worked, Gallagher. You can always come to me when you can’t sleep, I’ll hold you until you can.” Voice merely above a whisper, you gently told him.

Ian was feeling breathless. Everything about your welcoming and accepting nature deemed temptation; his pupils dilating, throat suddenly dry as if he’s been dehydrated, stomach growling as if hasn’t eaten in days, feeling your soft hand brush through his ginger hair as you stared at him innocently yet almost seducing. The tension was too thick to be cut with a knife. And with the growing urge to just give in to the temptation, Ian leaned forward without a second thought, capturing your lips in a kiss.

You made a noise of surprise that immediately caused Ian to pull away, a panicked look in his eyes, scared he might’ve ruined the most precious friendship he’s ever had. Series of apology slipped past his lips, but you shut him up by putting a finger up to his lips.

“Don’t apologize, I’m not mad, silly.” You reassured, though concern plastered your face. “Are you sure you want this?”

“Yeah,” His response was nearly quick. “Why do you think I agreed to a sleepover?”

That angelic smile of yours returned again, chuckling. “Okay then, Gallagher. Do whatever you want.” You said before kissing him again, letting the rest of the day continue.

Again, it was convenient that you’re a switch, because even though Ian has tried bottoming before, he preferred topping, especially with you or Mickey. Well, you and Mickey now. Those sleeping around days were a lot... wild, to say the least.

You never slept with anyone besides Ian and Mickey, always uninterested in other guys and turning them down nicely quite often, which Mandy — your bestfriend — noticed.

Questionable, of course, because there was one incident at the Alibi where she, Lip, and Fiona were present and you and Ian came out the bathroom covered in hickeys, not even bothering to hide them as the two of you sat down with them. However, when a guy noticed and realized what happened, they attempted to shoot their shot with you, miserably failing as you turned it down without further acknowledgement while Ian just shrugged, as if he already knew that was going to be your answer. Then, Mickey suddenly barged in only to tell you a short “not tired yet, are ya?” while walking to the bathroom, and you smiled at Ian before following Mickey.

It happened quite a lot in different circumstances that even the Gallaghers caught up on how Ian and Mickey are the only ones you let getting in your pants.

It was a messy and complicated time where everyone had to deal with their own shit; Mickey with his homophobic upbringing and sexual crisis, Ian with his confusion in feeling something for both you and Mickey at the same time and doubts to himself, you with accepting your romantic attraction to both of them, keeping it locked in, and fulfilling the desire to be with them by sleeping with them. It’s either they slept with each other, you slept with either of them, or the three of you slept together, all bonded somehow. Ian and Mickey were the first ones to get their shit together and officially became partners, and well... it honestly didn’t turn out good back then due to you still dealing with your own shit that nobody ever noticed. That story could be for another day, though.

The point is, your friendship used to be wholesome, but the extent of it increased more when you three settled after all that shitshow. There were some toxicity at first, especially with Mickey struggling to overcome the genuinely awful upbringing he had — he was dating a guy after all, and not just one but two — along with Ian’s diagnosis of bipolar disorder. But having each other and not giving up on each other made the toxicity disappear and morph into something positive, each of you going through some relationship development together.

Compared to back then, the three of you had grown overly comfortable with each other and the polyamorous relationship you had, not feeling discomfort when people look at you weirdly. Coming to terms with the issues truly helped.

However, neither Ian nor Mickey had come to terms with your kindness towards people who didn’t deserve it, and they absolutely have no plans of coming to terms with it at all. People can be a lot rude and asshole when you’re nice to them, which is why they simultaneously keep themselves and each other from strangling the person’s neck everytime it treated or spoke to you horribly.

Well, frankly, nobody would understand and you don’t expect them to. Too bad they’re going to have to sooner than later, because you’ve been feeling a little irritable — it’s only a matter of time before the truth cracks through the surface of friendliness and nice personality you’ve plastered on.

Once it does, people will be fucked.

You know who you are when you’re not nice; it’s never a pretty sight. It’s a bloodbath.

Everything seemed perfect.

Dinner’s pretty cheap, but not unbearable. One of the nicest things about you is that you don’t care for the price as long as it’s edible and tasty. You’re not the one to fuss over the cheapness or expensiveness of anything and the Gallaghers loved that, because you wouldn’t talk shit of how they can’t afford shit. Birthdays are special occasion where people usually ask for expensive gifts, but the Gallaghers were always reminded by you not to go grand on celebrations or presents, because you didn’t like them spending their money on something other than theirselves.

They still went with it though, going to a cheap local bar where they serve cheap dinner so everyone could celebrate the birth date of you, who was born special in southside Chicago with kindness that’s seemingly a curse.

The night went by smoothly, everyone enjoying their time and having fun — You, Ian, Mickey, Mandy, Sandy, Lip, Fiona, Liam, Debbie, Franny, Veronica, Kev, and even Frank who was by the bar because his family disapproved of him joining. He still did, considering you’re the nicest kid he’s ever met.

Perfect. Everything was perfect. Too perfect that it’s becoming strange, how well this night is going.

You were absolutely correct to feel like that.

Mickey’s blood was boiling at the man that had suddenly approached the table with a friendly smile only to go around spitting whatever the fuck he wanted to talk about, mainly nasty things. But according to him, he knew you and you knew him, well enough, even though they didn’t know him despite being your boyfriends. The Gallaghers were collectively surprised of his sudden appearance, considering none of them knew him, but concerns littered their faces when the man mentioned you.

“I honestly don’t know what (Y/n)’s thinking, hanging out with Gallaghers and dating one,” The man, who ( unwantedly ) introduced himself as Caius snickered.

Ian, despite his annoyance increasing at Caius’ presence, tried to remain calm. “What’s it to you? And fyi, he’s also dating him, so don’t fucking talk like that.” He pointed at Mickey, who glared daggers at the man.

“Fuck, he’s dating two guys?” Caius laughed mockingly. “And a Milkovich at that. But aren’t you, like, bipolar though? With the gene.” His mention of the diagnosis made Mickey furious as he slammed his hands against the table and attempted to stand up, only to be held back by Ian. Everyone had their blood boiling now, but forced themselves to keep calm since it’s your birthday. Nobody wanted to ruin it for you.

“I guess crazy psychopaths are his type, huh? With how the screws in his head are fucking loose, I’m not surprised.” He snarled, looking at both of them. However, his words cuts through the boiling rage within Ian and Mickey as they both processed his words, furrowing their brows in confusion at the mention of the screws in your head being loose.

Before anyone could utter a single word, the loud sound of wine bottle smashing against the back of Caius’ head erupts throughout the entire bar as he dropped to the floor cursing loudly, revealing you holding the remaining end of the shattered bottle. The nice look on your face no longer visible as it contorted into an emotionless expression, eyes holding utmost coldness with some unknown darkness within them that sent chills up everyone’s spine.

You merely acknowledged Caius groaning in pain on the floor, throwing away the shattered piece of the wine bottle to the side as you nonchalantly patted off your hands of any invisible dirt.

“Oh my fucking god,” Fiona was the first to react, terrified as she witnessed Caius touch the back of his head and get a blood on his palm. The other Gallaghers were already standing a feet away as they all jumped up and away from the table when you smashed a bottle on the man’s head, completely shocked and stunned, Lip and Carl letting out holy fuck.

“Jesus fucking Christ!”

“What the fuck did you just do?”

Ian and Mickey exclaimed in sync, with Ian looking at you while Mickey at Caius, both eyes wide and shock on their faces.

You shrugged, the usual smile completely nonexistent. “Smashed a bottle on an old friend’s head after talking shit about my boyfriends.” The slightest hint of apathy in your tone worried them a bit, but you quickly shifted your cold gaze to Caius. “Quit fucking moaning, Caius. You already saw it coming when you decided to approach them while I was gone for the bathroom.”

“Fuck,” Caius groaned, laying on his back to shoot you a glare. “I just got fucking discharged from the hospital you put me in, shithead. A little nice sympathy maybe? The one you fucking show people.”

“Certainly didn’t need sympathy when you brought up Ian’s bipolar disorder,” You smiled sarcastically. “And don’t be fucking dramatic, it was just few broken bones.”

“You made me fucking bleed internally and you wanna call that just a few broken bones?” Caius snapped. Everyone’s eyes widened.

Rolling your eyes, you folded the sleeves up of your button up while clenching and unclenching your fist, something that Ian and Mickey didn’t miss. “Serves you right for planning to shoot Micky Milkovich. Unfortunately for you, I genuinely and utterly loathe someone describing either of them as crazy psychopaths, especially since Ian’s been diagnosed bipolar, so...”

You grinned sadistically.

“Consider today your finally meet God and be sent to Hell day.”

Everyone watched as you rub your face while talking to the cops about what happened inside the bar, the back of your hand all bloody and knuckles busted, probably tainted in both Caius’ and your own blood. It was scary to see you so violent and, as Caius said, have screws in the head loose. The unlikeliness and the way you acted and looked so different from how you usually were terrified them.

Not Ian and Mickey, though. They were standing on both of your sides while the rest were a few feet behind, still attempting to calm down from the shock of witnessing your change in attitude and your true colors seeping through the cracks.

Your entire demeanor now was back to normal; not that cold and expressionless presence with terrifying apathy, but the warm, full of expression and accepting presence. You had quietly greeted the cops earlier with a small smile that turned into a frown of guilt, which somehow was enough for them not to handcuff you despite the damage you caused on Caius.

“I probably shouldn’t have done all of those to him,” You muttered thoughtfully while biting your lip. “I don’t think I regret it though. He crossed the line, I got pissed.”

“You normally don’t get pissed, Mr. (L/n).” One of the cops remarked.

Shrugging your shoulders, you gave them a small smile. “That’s just what you think of me. I don’t really care if people insult me or talk shit about me, but my boyfriends are one of the most significant people in my life, so they’re off-limits. I really can’t handle anyone talking shit about them.” Your soft tone falling down to a serious and firm one, you narrowed your eyes at the ambulance that contained Caius’ unconscious body.

“Are Mr. Milkovich and Mr. Gallagher basically your trigger?” The other cop wondered.

You nodded immediately, “Yeah. I think so.” Rubbing your nape with the uninjured hand nervously, you bit the inside of your cheek. “Shouldn’t you be handcuffing me? I definitely went too far, I blacked out in anger, and he’s unconscious with some injuries that are probably worse than what I think, so…” You slowly brought your hands together, ready to get arrested.

“Don’t worry, witnesses came forward and shared what happened. They confirmed Caius went too far with the disclosure of a person’s medical condition confidentiality.” One of the officers stated, gently bringing your hands down.

Your eyes snapped to the cops, “Wait, really?”

“Yes, they understood how off-limits your boyfriends are and immediately talked to us after we arrived.” The two cops smiled, seeing the look of relief on your face. “We’ll get going then, Mr. (L/n). You have nothing to worry about.”

“Thank you.” Sighing in relief, you gave them a look of gratitude as they began getting into their car before your blank face returned.

“You’re fucking one hell of an actor, (Y/n) (L/n).” Mickey remarked after seeing your face fall and glare threateningly at the ambulance as soon as the cops drove off.

“Hey,” Ian softly called to catch your attention, cupping your face. “Look at me. Look at us. Calm down, (Y/n). It’s fine, we’re fine, okay? You don’t have to be mad anymore.”

Mickey watched silently from the side with his arm around Ian’s waist and the other hand gently rubbing your arm to help bring comfort to you. Tense shoulders slowly softening and body relaxing, they witnessed the rage storm calm in your eyes as the hard gaze softened and you respond to their gesture by melting into their touch.

You sighed deeply, “Okay.”

Both of them couldn’t help but notice the empathy slipping back into your eyes and expression, brightening it up, making it seem more alive. Your eyes looked dead earlier when you were beating the life out of Caius until he was barely breathing, it honestly scared and freaked the fuck out of your boyfriends, even though they would probably never admit it. It was like seeing a soulless person because of the lack of empathy and all.

Though, seeing that happen definitely made them reconsider the thought that you grew up perfectly sane without bottled up issues in southside Chicago — They didn’t realize the bottled up issues was simply your kindness and nice atittude, the main things that literally allows you to get whatever you want from anyone because it’s the easiest way to manipulate others into giving you what you want, and they wouldn’t even realize the manipulation.

That’s your own shit to deal with; you force yourself to be nice and caring, so your apathy wouldn’t come up to the surface and destroy things. However, Ian and Mickey somehow knew none of the nice or caring side you showed to them were fake. Because if they were, would you even be in a relationship with them?

It would probably take a lot of time to figure you out, especially when you seem to like hiding behind the nicest person in southside Chicago mask and never let the surface crack to get even a peek inside, but they were willing to try. You’re their boyfriend after all.

“We’ll figure it out, (Y/n).” Mickey gently says. “We always fucking do. Right, Gallagher?” He smirked at Ian, who instantly nodded with an of course, before Mickey grabbed the back of his head and kissed his lips.

You smiled at them, genuinely.

© ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴅᴇsʀɪsᴇ. sᴛᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ, ᴘʟᴀɢɪᴀʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴏʀ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴍᴏɴᴇᴛᴀʀʏ ɢᴀɪɴ ɪs sᴛʀɪᴄᴛʟʏ ᴘʀᴏʜɪʙɪᴛᴇᴅ. ᴀsᴋ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪɴɢ.

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[norrisleclercf1]

Little Traitor

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Wolff!Reader

Requested: Yes/No

Request: Hello there, I was thinking of a Max x Wolff!reader. She and Toto doesn’t have a great relationship because he was so focused about F1 that he started forgetting her (birthdays, holidays etc.). Her and Max met when they where young and has stayed in contact, even starting a relationship. Anyways they get caught by some rando (media or fan) and She and Toto get in a fight. Red Bull team is very supportive and makes her one of them.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Stalking mentioned, Christian is actually nice, Toto is a dick, daddy issues

Part 2: Little Backstabber

It was no secret in F1 that you are Toto Wolff's daughter from his first marriage. Everyone thought he dotted on you like he does, Jack, and you let people believe that, but it was far from the truth. He didn't pay you any attention.

He didn't mean for it to happen, but when Lewis started to win repeatedly, he forgot about you. First, it was your birthday. It landed on a race, and you let it go when he called to apologize for not wishing you a happy birthday. But, he started to forget more important dates, your middle school graduation, holidays, high school graduation....even college graduation.

You kept brushing it off, but it has strained your relationship significantly, but you always put on that smile around cameras and acted like everything was okay and perfect.

When you were at the track, it wasn't for your father; no, it was for a World Champion, not the one your father wanted. But one of his biggest rivals.

Max and you met when you were both young, maybe 12-13 years old, and stayed in touch, even evolving into more than friends. Late-night talks turned into late-night kisses, and sleepovers turned into doing more than just sleeping. You hated hiding this from the world, but you both agreed it was for the best.

Max was well aware of your strained relationship with your father and knew that you'd need to keep this relationship hidden if you wanted anything to do with Toto. He hated it. He wanted everyone to know you were his and he was yours, but he kept it tight-lipped out of respect for you.

"Honestly, I'm tired of hiding." You whisper softly one night. It was a warm Baku night as you both walked around the city, enjoying its life and the people living their lives.

"What?" Max was shocked to hear your confession. He knew how serious and badly it would go if word got out about him dating the Mercedes Princess.

"I'm tired of it all, Max. I don't care if Dad isn't happy with it or if it breaks our relationship this time, I don't want to hide anymore." Your hand squeezes his as Max nods, kissing your head.

Unknown to both of you, someone was already one step ahead and working on the year's drama with one single article. The following day, you feel Max's arm tighten as he still sleeps, but your phone vibrates as you reach for it. Sleep-covered eyes squint as you read the notification.

Mercedes Princess? More Like Verstappen's Queen. Get the inside scoop on how the Mercedes Princess falls from grace and into the arms of her biggest rival.

"No, no, no, no! Oh god, NO!" You scream, covering your mouth as you scroll through the article, pictures upon pictures of you and Max through the years.

Max sits up quickly, hearing your frantic yells, and looks around, pulling you into him, worried someone was in here when they should be.

"Snoepje? What's wrong?" His voice thick with sleep as he starts to wake up fully. He freezes, seeing the tears run down your face, and snatches your phone as he stares in disbelief.

It starts with your first date, to your first kiss, and fucking he'll even your first night together. Of course, those photos didn't show it; it was clearly implied when it highlighted the different appearance of his girlfriend the following day. Max reads the article, his grip on you tightening with quiet anger as it deeply details your relationship and how you kept it hidden from your father.

"Fuck, baby, I-" He closes his mouth, unsure what to say to you. How does he apologize for this, for this blatant invasion of privacy.

"He's going to see this. He's going to" You stop before swallowing; it feels like knives going down your throat.

"It's okay; listen, let me get rid of this article first. This is so beyond the line of privacy; I mean fuck, they had to be stalking us." Max seethes tearing out of bed and shoving on sweatpants.

You sit in bed, mind reeling at what you should say to your father, how you will face everyone, or even in public. Grabbing your phone, you hit trends and see you trending number 1; you itched to click on your name, but you are terrified of all the hate you'll see. Instead, you focus on Max's voice, the anger and hurt he felt on the phone, knowing he was probably talking to Christian.

Max walks back into the room and shakes his head. "They're going to do everything they can to get rid of the article, but-" "It's already out there." You finish for him making Max nod his head, sitting across from you.

"If you want to go home, I understand." He whispers, making your head snap up.

"I'm not leaving you. Are you kidding me? Max, if I left now, that'd only make things worse, Dad.....the fans....it'll be a blood bath." You whisper, hanging your head again, grabbing Max's hand and squeezing it.

"No, I don't want to expose you to this part. I'm used to it, alright, there's no shame in wanting to leave Y/n, but I refuse to stand by while this happens." Max begs as he pulls you close, kissing you gently.

"Max, my father is probably tearing his hotel room apart." You whisper, cringing at how he might be reacting right now.

"Okay and? I love you, you're happy and respected, and fuck, I love you. So what if I've defiled you over and over and ov-" You laugh, slapping his shoulder lightly as he smiles, glad to see that smile.

"Come on, we've got qualifying, and I don't want you leaving my side," Max mumbles kissing your lips as he drags himself away from you to get dressed.

Pandemonium. It was utter chaos when you and Max arrived at the paddock. It was ordinarily busy on Qualifying days, but since the article dropped this morning, fans, commentators, and media have been everywhere trying to get a glimpse of you two or even a statement.

Red Bull took you in without even a second thought and protected you from the cameras as they pushed everyone away. Even posting a statement on all social media pages about legal consequences for the article and anyone who comes to the paddock without permission.

Max plants you next to Christian, who decided to sit inside the garage and next to you, knowing Max would trust him to keep an eye out. Christian doesn't say a word to you as he talks to Max about what needs to be done to get the Pole position, and you just sit there watching people move about, not a single soul questioning why you were there and not at Mercedes.

"He's got it, don't you think?" You snap out of your trance and look at Christian, who's staring at you, waiting for an answer.

"Wha-? Oh yeah, he's amazing. He'll get pole." You mumble, staring at the screens, not wanting to see the pity in his eyes.

"I knew." He blurts out, making you turn, shock all over your face.

"He told me 2 years ago after his first Championship win. Confessed everything. Started asking me to watch you and Toto to ensure everything was okay. I didn't question it, but it didn't take long to figure out why. If...if you ever need a place to escape to, me and Geri have a place open for you...always." He mumbles before putting his headphones on and watching the screens with crazy lines and dots.

"Thank you." You whisper, putting on similar headphones as you watch Max dominate.

"Yes!" you scream, tackling your boyfriend, who just secured pole position. Max laughs as he holds you close, spinning you around; he couldn't be happier. He got pole, he doesn't have to hide his feelings, and he's holding you in his arms. Nothing could ruin this.

"Y/n Wolff." A dark German voice seethes, making everyone in the garage freeze. Even the cameras scurry off, knowing to not broadcast this.

"Papa." You whisper as Max sits you down, standing half in front of you, blocking your view of your father.

''Excuse me, Max, but I need to speak with my daughter." Toto drawls out, but you know that tone. It was. I'm super pissed and about to yell tone.

"Actually, I'm okay right here, sir," Max smirked, but it was a nervous reflex. He didn't want to start a fight, but he would for you.

"Max, it's fine. Go cool off, okay." You mumble, pushing the Dutch driver away, who looks back and forth between you two before kissing your forehead.

"I love you." He whispers for only you to hear before walking away, but just enough to still be within earshot.

"How dare you!" Toto spits, making you flinch slightly; thankfully, Max doesn't notice it as you feel like a little girl again when Toto used to punish you.

"Papa-" "Don't. I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses out of your mouth. How dare you betray this family." He snarls, and that makes you snap.

"Family? What family Papa? We haven't been a family in years! You don't even remember my birthday, much less what I like! When Lewis started to win, you forgot about me, and now you want to act like we're some perfect family!" You yell, everyone watching.

Max takes a couple steps forward, but Christian and Checo stop him letting you finally stand up to your father.

"You're my daughter! And your fucking the enemy!" Toto roars as you just stare at him in disbelief.

"Hey, that's enough!" Max yells, but you grab his arm, stopping him as you finally look your father in the eye.

"He's not the enemy Papa. He's the man who loves me! Who remembers my birthday? Who was there for my high school AND college graduation? By the way, you said you were too busy to even come too, no more likely you forgot and made up an excuse. He's the man I love and would marry and spend the rest of my life with because he's always there for me when you never were. He showed me how I should be treated when all you did was lie and forget about my existence." You scream

Strong arms wrap around you as you turn into your boyfriend's chest, sobbing as he holds you close. You hear people shouting and Christian kicking your father out and slamming the garage door.

"I've got you, okay? I love you." Max whispers, trying his hardest to calm you down.

"Don't leave me." You whisper, making Max's arms crush you as he whispers soft Dutch words promising never to leave you.

He wasn't the enemy of your story; he was the Prince Charming.

"Come on, let's go to the motor home," Christian whispers to the both of you as the guys move quickly to get everyone away as you bolt for the motor home.

Christian stops you both at the door and smiles. "You're our family." He smiles, making fresh tears appear as you move to hug the Red Bull principal.

"Thank you for everything." You whisper, glad to have found this family.

#f1 #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #formula 1 #f1 fandom #f1 imagine #f1 2022 #f1 scenario #formula one #max verstappen #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen scenario #red bull reader #Red Bull imagine #max imagine #toto wolff #max x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 one shot #f1 angst

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: dating zoro edition

- slight nsfw images + wording , very slight

- male reader !!

liked by freeluffy, SUPERCOLA, and 10k others

rzs.[name]: muah smooch kiss 😚

tagged: [name]s_hubby

[name]s_hubby: i love u pretty boy

-> rzs.[name]: come home imy

-> [name]s_hubby: im gettin ur stupid biggie bag wait a second

dni_nami: STOP BEING HAPPY ON MY TL ‼️‼️‼️ I DIDNT ASK FOR TS esp from u two

-> rzs.[name]: btw nami i jus venmoed u for the snacks u bought for us at the movies

-> dni_nami: i wish u both nothing but happiness 🫶🏼 love u botthhhh

uso_pp: damn why he eatin u ... [name] u good??

-> [name]s_hubby: pls stfu u touch deprived idiot

liked by purrrona, rzs.[name], and 11k others

[name]s_hubby: why r ppl spelling gym "jim" that shit sound stupid as fuck

tagged: rzs.[name]

rzs.[name]: my favorite pillow <333

rzs.[name]: guys do u see how he tagged me :))) its cuz hes my boyfriend

rzs.[name]: pls tell me ur single plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspl

-> [name]s_hubby: i almost blocked u bc i thought u were a rando

-> uso_pp: smths tellin me this isnt the right answer ???

-> [name]s_hubby: mb i mean, yes i do have a boyfriend and am happily married to him

freeluffy: ZORO i beat ur pr 😈😈

-> [name]s_hubby: mf i know u didnt stop lying

princesanji: vomitted in my mouth xoxo

-> [name]s_hubby: the jealousy from this comment is crazy

liked by [name]s_hubby, princesanji, and 10k others

rzs.[name]: HES SOOOOO HOTTTT I MIGHT JUST START DROOLING

tagged: [name]s_hubby

[name]s_hubby: please do not start drooling i might break up w u

-> rzs.[name]: u practically started crying when i told u i had to leave the bed to go to school , i cant even jmagine if i broke up w you

-> uso_pp: his ass is not built to survive without u [name] pls dont break up w him for the sake of everyone else

randomgirl: happy for u ig ...

-> [name]s_hubby: im gonna block u from [name]s phone cuz hes too nice to do it himself foh w ur bullshit

[liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 100 others]

johnnybro: BIG BRO ZORO GOT THE CUTEST BOYFRIEND EVER

-> rzs.[name]: JOHNNNNYY zoro says he misses u

-> [name]s_hubby: i didnt but good to hear from u johnny and yes my bf is the cutest

liked by rzs.[name], [name]s_hubby, and 9k others

SUPERCOLA: zoros drunk ass couldnt even stand upright and [name] had to go on over there to sober him up

tagged: rzs.[name] and [name]s_hubby

robinkills: what even got him to come back to his senses? he was so drunk

-> rzs.[name]: i told him he would have to sleep on the couch unless he got serious

[liked by dni_nami, princesanji, and 57 others]

-> dni_nami: thats all it took??? wtf 💀💀💀

freeluffy: zoro is so funny 😂😂😂 he kept bumping into poles ans apologizing to them

-> [name]s_hubby: luffy delete this comment rn u have ten minutes.

rzs.[name]: i love my boyfriend 😇 even if hes so fucking stupid

-> SUPERCOLA: pls do NOT start beef in my comment section i was tryna show how cut u guys r as a couple not how stupid u both are

liked by rzs.[name], princesanji, and 17k others

[name]s_hubby: one day ill put a proper ring on his finger and then MAYBE just maybe bitches will stop tryna slide in his dms

tagged: rzs.[name]

uso_pp: it was cute until u threatened a whole population of people

-> [name]s_hubby: the issue is that theres a whole population of people tryna get w my bf, thats not my fault

dni_nami: zoro u almost had me fooled that u were being a SWEET bf for once

rzs.[name]: why not rn???

-> [name]s_hubby: shhh

princesanji: the caption couldve been smth great and then u ruined it

-> [name]s_hubby: and ur still single. so...

liked by dni_nami, [name]s_hubby, and 12k others

rzs.[name]: i was told to make it more obvious on my acc that i have a bf (even tho hes in all my posts) so pls stop dming me now ty

tagged: [name]s_hubby

[name]s_hubby: his username is literally "roronoa zoro's [name]" as in - IM RORONOA ZORO ... i need all of u to wake tf up

-> rzs.[name]: and my man!!! thank u to my man!!

dni_nami: if anyone knew u two in real life theyd know all u do is talk abt each other

uso_pp: the world if ppl were able to take a hint🌈✨✌️☮️🕊️

princesanji: i am begging all of u to actually stop dming [name] bc the amt of ppl is genuinely stressing zoro out and its making him act even more like an asshole to the rest of us. please spare us this treatment and leave them both alone

[liked by [name]s_hubby, rzs.name, and 120 others]

rzs.[name]'s story:

happy 2 yr anniversary, im so lucky to have you in my life

[name]s_hubby replied to your story: i hope i get to wake up next to you everyday, i love you so much please come home quick so i can show you pretty boy <3

#≡;- ꒰ ° smau series ꒱ #one piece smau #one piece imagines #one piece x reader #one piece x male reader #zoro x reader #zoro x male reader #roronoa zoro x male reader #x male reader #zoro smau #roronoa zoro smau #zoro imagines #male reader #male reader imagines #modern one piece #roronoa zoro imagines #x reader

[kurorama]

All Of My Love ( V. )

(Series Masterlist)

Neteyam x Avatar!reader

IN WHICH Neteyam’s mother and clan disapproves of your relationship, because you’re a dreamwalker. When you both advance in your relationship, the clan cannot help but attempt to ruin things for the both of you.

WC: 14k (wow)

Based on All My Love by Led Zeppelin

Warnings: mommy issues, finally awaited FLUFF, kissing and making up, slightly suggestive. this is rushed, the ending is rushed THE EDITING IS RUSHED.

The blinding lights of the lab reflected off the shiny protective glass that shielded your avatar from the human air. You brought a hand up to hide your eyes from the sudden gleam of light that blinded you, before moving yourself to resume your staring. You couldn’t really tell how long it had been since you had been full on just fixated on your avatar, but you had failed to hear the sound of someone entering the room. 

“Looks like you’ve finally decided to drop that fake body of yours,” you heard a feminine voice say from behind you. You dreaded the moment when you’d have to turn around, because you knew exactly who this voice belonged to. You didn’t even want to look at the glassy material anymore, because you knew that you’d eventually spot her in the reflection. 

Her stiletto heels clicked against the floor at every step and you could hear them getting closer and closer at every click. You didn’t even flinch when she reached a hand upon your shoulder, only turning around to meet the woman that stood at your height. The room was already loud from the outside noises of people loudly talking. 

She had to agree that you had grown greatly, no longer being the troublesome little girl that used to hold Norm’s tail at every opportunity given. You were a young adult now and she knew that. “Thought I made it clear that you must knock before entering?” your question went waltzing into the tense air as you looked down at your shoes, your mother completely ignoring you. 

Your eyes couldn’t help but survey her work outfit, one that seemed a little out of place, or even inappropriate for a workplace. She wore a tight pencil skirt that seemed okay just on its behalf, but she had ridden up to rest just above her round thighs. Her blouse was just as skin-tight as her skirt, and you were sure that many eyes of the lone soldiers must’ve been attracted to her charm. 

“That alien family of yours left you?” she chuckled slightly, not wanting to seem too hostile because you were still her kid. Even if somewhat back then she had managed to get rid of you while you were still developing in her womb, or when she had abandoned you with the other scientist after your birth to drown in her own sorrows, you would always be her daughter whether she liked it or not. 

You rolled your eyes involuntarily at her comment, but somewhere in your heart did it truly hurt. “That alien family was more present in my life then you ever were,” you mumbled, moving your focus to the stash of paperwork on the office that was next to you. It was not your work to do, but you’d rather complete some rando’s work then talk to your mother. 

“Don’t think that i’m an incompetent person now,” she replied, little to no worries for your sorrows. Everything about this conversation somewhat made you angry. For one, you could never understand her feelings, because she was always so closed off towards you. 

Your mother sighed as you refused to look at her once more. She brought a hand up to undo the first two buttons of her blouse, the tight material suffocating her more than the tension in the room. She contemplated putting a hand down on your forearm, but she knew that you’d only repulse from her touch. 

“Don’t resent me because I haven’t been there for every step that you took, I couldn’t always be there at your side,” 

“You were never even there!” you snapped at her, hands firmly holding you up on the metallic table. Your rings clashed against the table at your outburst, causing a loud ringing to chime throughout the lab. You brought a hand up to soothe your temples in frustration because of the woman that stood besides you. She was as silent as a grave and the only noise that came from the both of you was the sound of you shuffling with the nearby files. 

Your mother watched you with woe as you tried not to snap at her again just for being in the same room as her. 

“Why were you never there?” you grumbled, 

“I-“ you cut her off from whatever she was about to tell you. “When you could’ve been.” you turn your head towards her, a desperate glimpse in your eyes. There was something more than want in your eyes, there was need. You needed to know why she had never been around to watch you grow, maybe to soothe your inner child that awaited for those answers every single day. 

“You’ve never really…,” she paused, hesitating at what she was going to tell you. You looked expectantly at her, anticipating the words that she was failing to express. “You’ve never really had a father.” her eyebrows creased together, and her eyes just couldn’t help but peer at anything but at your upset form. 

You deadpanned at her, that was her reasoning? Because of her failed hookups, you had to be the victim of her neglect? The look that you gave her made her bones shudder in discomfort and she felt intimidated under your unruly eyes. She felt as though you judged her from every aspect of her life, but she knew that you were somewhat right if you did.

“It’s not that I’ve never had any company, lord, kind of the opposite actually,” she boasted, and you internally gagged at her over sharing of personal information. Matter of fact, you didn’t need to know how your mother used to get regularly pounded on this early Monday morning. Her mere presence had already ruined your day, now she was tripling that with her odd storytelling. 

“And I was always safe every time, so there was no way that it was any of them!” she said, now frustrated as she failed to understand the story that she herself was revealing to you. 

“You’ve never had a father, Y/N” she called out for your name, trying to make you understand what she couldn’t voice out audibly. The irritating feeling had completely faltered by now, and you couldn’t really understand where you mentally stood now. The feeling of disbelief was all you could feel for now, because her story made little to no sense. 

You were not that oblivious to the stories that came from your mother’s land. The story of their saviour and the same god that was preached amongst something that they called religions. Unlike the na’vi, the humans praised a man that harboured 3 forms of which were physical and spiritual. They believed that their god had formed the earth, and everything that lay upon. You had heard of the story of the Virgin Mary, and your mother’s tale was getting a little too similar to this. 

“I had to carry the burden of bearing an unwanted child, so you have no right to resent me for not being in the life of a daughter that I've never wanted!” your mother quavered, her lips trembling as she spoke to you. You couldn’t find it in yourself to retort, to disprove the tears that trickled past her waterline. Despite not understanding your own birth story still, you couldn’t find it in yourself to resent the woman no more. 

For, it was because of you that your mother would never be the same ever again, no matter how much you would pray to the Great Mother. She had changed drastically after your birth, ignoring the presence of both Norm and Max as they grew closer to you. Matter of fact you had been practically raised by both men, and the other avatars that worked in the program. 

Was it so wrong for you to wish that she was present at the moment? You were so confused with everything, with Neteyam, with Neytiri, with the omaticaya, with yourself. You pushed those feelings away though, because there was no one else that you could blame but yourself for her detachment. You had seen pictures of when she was happy, when she was younger and free. 

You were the reason as to why she was so distant nowadays but you were also the lost kid that needed a mother’s reconfort at the moment. 

You watched quietly as the older woman recomposed herself, passing a hand over her already-straightened blouse in an attempt to appear less awkward. Her stiletto heels clicked against the floor once more, though this time the sound was getting further away from your hearing at each step. Soon enough, the obnoxious sound had completely dissipated from your hearing range, leaving you to bask in the deserted silence of the lab room. 

-

Neteyam was the only thing that your mind would present to you on replay. He was everything that your heart wanted and at times you only wished to rip the organ out yourself to cease this feeling. He was in everything, like the feather that dangled from your chest piece. The same one that swayed with the wind each time that the cool breeze would brush over you. 

Sometimes you wondered if you should just fall out of love with the na’vi boy, but you wondered if you’d even be able to. You would most likely end up falling in love with him again, and you couldn’t afford more heartbreaks than you had already acquired. Your admiration for Neteyam was like a thread of an endless yarn ball, on which only a blade can cut through. 

So here you found yourself again, in the midst of the forest. That was the only place you seemed to find inner peace at within the past few weeks. You felt a strong connection to the nature around you. You felt oftentimes as though the animals spoke specifically to you, but you failed to understand because of the language barrier. You felt like the trees were your true home, not the ton of metal that was called a lab. 

Perhaps it was not the best of ideas to be jumping from tree to tree in your short human body. The forest na’vi body was built for those long and dangerous leaps unlike your small and frail current body. The thrill was what motivated you to keep moving, and exceptionally that one berry that hung from the complete top of the tree. It shone through the rays of sun that poked through the heavy leaves and it attracted you to no end. Like some shiny jewel to a robber, you couldn’t help but make it your personal mission to retrieve it.

You had to admit that the first few minutes of climbing were literal hell. Through the scratches and numerous times that you had nearly fallen, it seemed like Eywa herself was telling your stupid ass to just give up and go home. Thought you were no loser, so you would get that berry one way or the other. You ignored the way your arms ached as you encircled them around the thick bark of the tall tree, your feet digging into whatever spot they could find in the log. 

To your misfortune, Eywa had really seemed to want you to descend from that tree. You had trusted your instincts a little too much, like a natural predator trusted his own instincts. Though you were just a human woman and no palulukan. You brought your foot up, trying to lodge it into the next hole or branch that presented itself before you. Though before you knew it, your right foot had met with the solid and moist grassy feeling of moss, and you had slipped before your brain could even register it.

It would be a funny scene for any na’vi passing, the fresh view of a sky person falling from leaf to leaf while cascading down the top of a tree. You let out the most ground breaking yell as you broke through the branches, body hitting with what felt like every single branch in this damned forest. You groaned as your foot set caught in the last branch of the tree, saving you from what could have been a fatal fall. You would’ve loved to laugh at yourself in any other situation if it hadn’t been for your near death.

You could practically hear your own heart beating as you came down from your fright, and you were sure that creatures from miles away could hear it pulsating way faster than it should as well. Cold sweat ran down your neck onto your hair because of your upside down position, and your exopack was irritating you ten times more than usual.

Your uncomfortable positions made your growing bruises throb as the branch applied pressure everywhere it shouldn’t. You felt dizzy from the blood flowing down to your head, but you knew that you couldn’t let your guard down, because the forest was like a huge death trap for a human of your size. Your ears picked up on the sound of footsteps, eyes darting all over the place as a hurried way of searching for its owner. 

Much to your fortune, the intruder seemed to be a na’vi. You called out for them, waving your hands in the air like a maniac as you tried to make a call for the blue alien. 

She ignored you and your desperate cries for help and you felt as though you were being more and more suffocated as time passed by. You could see that she heard you from the way her ears twitched irritably at each of your yells and soon enough, she had turned to you with a stern gaze.

Neytiri’s judgemental eyes stared right through you as you could not even do much to hide yourself from her gaze. Great, now you were both upside down and extremely humiliated as you stood stupidly before your ex-lover’s mother. You brought both of your hands to your face in a goofy attempt to rescue your decency from this pure humiliation and the woman only rolled her eyes at your antics. 

She kept on eyeing you from the side, clearly hesitant about something that you could not know what for now. Neytiri tried to distract herself by picking her herbs in the sheer silence, but her nerves only aggravated things, making her accidently rip the fresh stem of the flower that she was picking. 

“As much as I don't like you, my son refuses to speak to me because of you.” Neytiri spoke sternly as she kept her back turned away from your prying eyes. Her slim fingers pulled at herbs from the ground, unrooting them from the fresh soil as she stored them in her basket. “So we must come to even terms,” 

Your heart did backflips at her words, multiple backflips at that. Neytiri, THE Neytiri, was finally accepting you? In some way. 

You couldn’t believe it, visually because you beamed at her comment, bringing your body forward as you seemed shocked at her confession. Your body swayed at your actions, unwillingly unlatching your legs from the branch. Your body hit the floor with a loud thud and the groan that left your mouth indicated that it was no light fall. 

Neytiri wasn’t looking at you when it had happened, and you prayed your thanks to the Great-Mother. She turned around suddenly at your loud noise, shaking her head in disappointment when she found you face to face with the moist soil. Well not really face to face because of the mask that was binded to your face. She felt a tiny bit of worry at first, worried that your mask had injured you during your fall. Though you praised the Great-Mother once more for blessing you with the quick ability to have been able to move your arms in order to protect your masked face from the fall. 

Was this really who her son was so in love with? You reminded her so much of Jake’s old self at the moment, and she could only be happy for Neteyam acquiring her patience. 

She continued to look at you through unimpressed eyes as you put your hand up in the air, flashing her a thumbs up that you were sure she must’ve understood with Jake being around. Neytiri moved towards you, rolling you over on your back since you were still pretty much making out with the dirt beneath you. Dirt specks covered your mask but you were too dazed to even care at the moment. 

You groaned once more at the new position, feeling every single rock digging into the flesh of your back. Neytiri raised an eyebrow bone at your suffering, clearly amused by your human body’s fragile state. Her ears rose up in the air at her obvious hilarity and you swallowed back the raging need of rolling your eyes at her. 

“I’m not saying that i’m accepting you in my family,” and there it was, the huge rock that came and crushed all of your hopes that you had built up for yourself. 

“For now…” 

You raised your hand for them to rest besides your face, body being sprawled out like a starfish as you grunted satisfyingly at the soothing position. You wanted so badly to sit up and crack the tense muscles in your neck, but this would do for now. 

You thought about what Neytiri had told you, how she was willing to make an effort for the sake of her eldest son. But things don’t always go the way we intend to and she was about to learn it the hard way. “It will never work out,” 

she looked at you curiously now, abandoning her previous activity of staring at the nature that surrounded you. She tilted her head to the side in confusion as she looked at you expectedly, awaiting an answer from you. 

“We are not together anymore, I'm pretty sure that Eywa herself is separating us at this point!” you laughed dryly, and the downturned smile that graced your face could tell Neytiri everything that she needed to know. Her ears piqued down as she now knew why Neteyam had been so upset with her. She had thought that maybe it was simply because she was trying to keep them from being together, but now she knew that it was more than that. Her own son’s heart had been wounded because of her selfishness, her first child that she had vowed to protect from any wrong of this cruel world.

She moved to sit next to your sprawled out form, crossing her legs gracefully besides you. Your neck hurt too much to even bother looking at her, so the tall trees were what you’d be observing as she spoke to you. “If Eywa has a plan for the both of you, then nothing is really over.” she looked up to the trees as you did, leaving you to contemplate what she had just told you.

“You are resilient, hardheaded and always going back to my son even after I threaten you!” Neytiri snarled, though it was more playful than the usual venomous tone she held when she used to speak to you. You allowed yourself to snicker at her teasing, before she started again. “So what’s different now? Why did you give up on my son so early?” 

Neytiri always had this hardness in her tone when she spoke to people that she wasn’t necessarily fond of, but you knew not to take it at heart. She sighed at the silence that you granted her, standing up on her feet as she brushed off the dirt that stuck to the back of her legs. You had so many things that you wanted to say to her, like how it was all different now. Though her words had you thinking deeply, so deep that you fell deaf upon her retreating footsteps. 

You were left with your own questioning self and the racking thoughts that ran throughout your head. Your body still stuck to the depths of the forest floors as the pain resurfaced once more. You forced yourself to stand up, your body urging you to tend all of your tense muscles as you walked yourself back to the lab. 

-

You peeled the sweaty top from your drenched body, sweat from your previous fall still rolling off of your skin. Drops of sweat ran from your neck and drenched the delicate fabric of your clothes. It was complicated to do with your mask still on, but you pushed through either way. Your top was also wet due to your impulsive decision of jumping in the lake still fully clothed. 

Courtesy of the scorching sun affecting your brain capacity, or so you said. The detour that you had made at a nearby pond seemed almost crucial, because you cringed at the thought of going back to the lab all covered up in dirt and dust. The scenery around you was beautiful, as much as it should’ve scared you. The fish that swan around in the natural pond were humongous compared to the pond fish on earth. Though you wouldn’t know of them, it made obvious sense that they were bigger than the earth ones when a fish as big as your upper thigh brushed past you.

You thanked Eywa for their gentle minds as you twisted your top to remove the excess water. You had just managed to strain the water out but it seemed as though something was coming for you. Lord may it not be a man, because you were clad in nothing but your bra and underwear. You brought your hands back under water as the sounds got closer and closer, drenching the clothes that you were once trying to wring.

Out of nowhere, a tall and blue na’vi jumped out from behind the bushes, startling you. Well, jumping out wasn't really the term that you could use to describe it, more like ‘they peacefully walked out from behind of the bushes but it scared me and I nearly pissed myself.’ 

What was with people running up on you while you were trying to have some alone time today?

You panicked for a minute, scared that it was a male na’vi that was going for a little swim and that was about to walk in on you half naked. So by reflex, you threw whatever you had in hand and onto them. Though you only had your wet clothes, and the wet sound of your clothes sploshing against their face resonated throughout the whole area.

You winced audibly at the force that you had sent your wet clothes, feeling a little bad for whoever was behind the wet stack of woollen clothes. Your guilt only tripled when you looked down at the na’vi, the obvious pair of breasts behind the feathers that hid them indicated to you that it was no man. You stayed in your spot for a second as the victim of your accidental assault brought a hand up to their face, sliding the mess off of their face. 

Your eyes widened like saucers when you were met with the sight of your old best friend. The voice box that resided in your throat failed you for what seems like the 6th time today as you opened your mouth to tell her something, remaining voiceless like a fish out of water. Zeppi seemed obviously shocked as well, her ears raised and her pupils dilated as she stared at you. 

She couldn’t help the loud resonating of her laughter as she replayed the scene in her head. The sight of your terrified face as you first spotted you, before her vision got engulfed by an uncomfortable darkness. You wanted to laugh too, but the feeling of embarrassment and discomfort was too overwhelming. There was no need to say that the scene was truly funny, but you also couldn’t deny that the person that stood besides you had lied to you, despite being the only person you could rely on back then. 

Zeppi noticed the obvious switch in your mood as she stood on the dry grass. She quickly fiddled with her own clothes, leaving them dry unlike yours on the shore. You knew that you couldn’t just keep on staring into her yellow eyes until someone decided to make a move, so you decided to be the bigger person and apologize first. 

“I’m sorry for,” you brought your hands up as they splash water slightly around, turning your hands in front of your own face to mimic what you wanted to say. “Whatever just happened…” your voice faltered, dying of embarrassment. Zeppi only laughed at your antics, showing you that she didn’t take it to heart. 

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, matter of fact you could’ve thought that I was a big bad predator!” she brought her hands towards her mouth, making some weird sound as she mimicked fangs that she already did have. You groaned at her attempt to tease you, snickering slightly after. 

“If anyone should be apologizing, then it should be me,” she trailed off, shame written all over her face. She knew that you turning your face away from her should've discouraged her, but she was too resilient to even think of giving up. “I should’ve never kept that from you, it should’ve never even been a secret in the first place!” 

You sighed, looking at the way that the water rippled as the both of your bodies moved in the pond. “But you still lied to me, Zeppi, and no amount of apology will take that away,” you muttered and her ears visibly deflated at your words. She was such a nice girl, the first ever person that had learned to accept you. Despite the Sully kids taking you in their little group, she was always someone out of that little circle that had been nice to you. Zeppi had taught you countless things, and you just couldn’t keep on resenting her for something that you had already gotten a clear explanation on. 

“I guess that I can learn to forgive you, because I know that you’re sincere,” Zeppi snapped her eyes towards you, her tail swaying wildly behind her. An upside down smile graced her face, looking at you for confirmation before she threw herself into your arms. The sheer force of her embrace sent the both of you staggering, and her arms wrapped themselves from the top of your shoulders as her hands rested on the small of your back. Your size difference was insane, your head ending up on her stomach as you hugged her back. 

She pulled back slightly, her larger palms resting on your bare shoulders as she beamed at you. Her smile was just as contagious as in the rumours, and soon enough you had found yourself laughing along with her. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I've never loved Neteyam! Never even looked at him in such a way, and I'm sure that his eyes were too busy trailing over a little someone else to even notice me.” she rambled and you held back a chuckle as you watched the taller girl get lost in her nonsense. Your heart fluttered at her subtle mention of Neteyam being hooked on you. “My own heart beats for someone else,” she says shyly and you turnt your head to the side in puzzlement. 

Who could be the lucky person that the omaticaya’s golden girl had finally chosen? It was no secret that she was well sought amongst the forest na’vi, but she had never shown any interest in anyone until now? 

“You’ll tell me when I come back tomorrow, I'm afraid of getting sliced and diced by a viperwolf if I stay until it’s dark!” you laughed, moving from your spot and you picked up your damp clothes from the shore. There was residue of dirt stuck onto it, but you didn’t want to enter a laboratory full of men with nothing but underwear on. So dirty cloth it shall be. It sort of contradicted the reason as to why you even came to the pond, but oh well.

“I better see you as a tall, blue na’vi the next time my eyes lay onto you! I’m counting on you.” Zeppi yelled once more as your figure diminished from her field of view. The girl sighed contentedly, sinking deeper into the cool waters of the pond one last time. 

-

Zeppi ran back home with the biggest grin on her delicate features. Her smile was so big that her own mother feared she would rip her face in her half if she continued for any longer. She hopped her way to her tent, spreading joy amongst the gloomy na’vi by her own joyous presence itself. 

How could she not be happy? She had just reunited with her long-lost best friend. Her heart throbbed with many emotions, those that she could not even confine to her own family because she feared their reactions. She was over the clouds because of your forgiveness, even though reluctant. She felt for you however, because she knew that you were still hurting because of what had happened with your past lover.

She knew that deep down, even with the blessing of your forgiveness, there would always be a part of you that would pain because of their lies. No matter how much you understood why they did it, no matter how much you tried to rid yourself of these unwanted thoughts. Zeppi shook her head, trying to shake the bad thoughts away. She smiled again as her sharp canines poked through the space between her opened lips. 

She walked back to the high camp confidently, her hips swaying in beat with her tail as she sauntered. Her glimpse of joy had gotten rudely interrupted as someone had grabbed onto her arm, making her yelp loudly. She turned around abruptly to face whoever it was, her tail stuck in between her legs in a hostile way. Her eyebrow bones furrowed in perplexity as she was met with the sight of the eldest Sully girl. Sure they were not necessarily the bestest of friends, probably ones to have a conversation only when needed. 

The sight of Kiri holding onto her confused her to no end. “You may want to come see what’s happening,” Kiri said, adding no further explanation whatsoever as she dragged the other girl towards a big crowd. Similar to the one of the time where you had been intercepted by her father, and Zeppi cringed at the painful memory of watching you get dragged around by the elders in front of everyone. 

Her plans of informing Neteyam about her conversation were now completely thrown out of the window, mainly because when she arrived on sight, the same exact boy was standing before the whole clan. Kiri could only pray to the All-Mother that her brother would not do anything stupid, for he was never known for anything of such. 

His hand was raised before his people, as though one raising his cup full of confessions as he made a toast. His ears were upright as he showed no signs of anguish standing here before so many na’vi. Or so he liked to make himself believe. Neteyam made a call for the omaticaya clan, his voice loud and clear above the din. The crowd of people eventually calmed down, turning their impatient eyes towards the Sully that stood before them. 

His nerves racked painfully as he feared their reactions, rightfully so, but he wouldn’t allow himself to show them. He’d show them the brave and outgoing Neteyam that they had always known and loved. 

“I….” he started, but his confidence seemed to have vanished along the way. Eywa, he cursed himself for getting discouraged so early, what happened to his previous devotion? He had gassed himself up for 20 whole minutes in his head, and he was cowering now? His sharp eyes scanned the crowd, pupils dilating in delight as he spotted Zeppi and Kiri amongst the crowd. Lo’ak stood not too far away from them, and he just knew that his brother would be so proud of him for standing up for himself at once. 

“I’m here to make things clear, that I will not keep this alliance between Tarsem’s daughter and I going.” he finally said in a clear tone, and the said family’s ears raised in bewilderment. On one hand, Zeppi couldn’t help but be both thankful and proud of Neteyam for being the one to do the first step. For they both lived in a loveless arrangement, their hearts lying in other people’s hands. Tarsem however, was not as understanding as Neteyam had wished for him to be.

What was Neteyam implying by this, that his daughter wasn’t good enough for him? Then it clicked inside of his head, his braids waving around as he visibly shook from anger. Neteyam was breaking things off publicly with his daughter for that demon. 

It was borderline insulting to him at how Neteyam could just break this betrothal off so easily before everyone. And when his nerves took the better of him, his wife was quick to calm him down. Tarsem’s ears flickered backwards as she restrained him, a steady hand placed upon his chest as she prevented him from approaching the young man. She was Zeppi’s mother after all, and a mother knows all. Just like she knows that Zeppi would not have been happy if she had truly ended up mating with Neteyam, so she believed that this was for the best.

Neytiri’s tail flickered wildly behind her at her eldest son’s statement. Had Neteyam really lost his mind? Was he really about to give up everything that was built for him for the past 18 years just for a foreign girl? Though when she thought about it deeper, your relationship truly reminded her of her very own.

She had risked everything that was thrown upon her after the death of her sister. She had abandoned her betrothed for the one that her heart had frankly beaten for. She couldn’t blame Neteyam for breaking away from a loveless arrangement, but it didn’t mean that Neytiri wasn’t upset nevertheless. She was happy that Neteyam was standing up for his love, but did he really have to cause a whole scene before the entire clan? 

Eywa, the whole of Pandora seemed to have been against Neteyam as of recently. At first, his clan and mother failed to accept his lover, then came their separation, and now no one was taking his words seriously. He was out and tired of living under other people’s rules, may it be his father or mother’s too. Neteyam thirsted to rebel for the first time in his life, ever since he had been born and deemed the perfect son. He was tired of having his whole life planned out for him, he wanted to be the one that held the marking stone in his life plan for once. 

Though as of now, there was nothing that he could do to calm the crowd. Not as the future Olo’eyktan, and certainly not as the young teen that everyone still saw him as. 

Zeppi turned around to meet the gaze of the Sully sister, but to her misfortune, she was no more by her side. Instead, one of her closest friend was; Lo’ak. The both of them suddenly turned to each other in their alarmed states. Everything was going to absolute shit. The people were up-roaring and neither the Neytiri or Tarsem seemed particularly pleased by Neteyam’s sudden outburst. Lo’ak watched as his brother stood lost between the crowd, his tail moving in circular motions as he tried to calm the people. 

This was not what he had expected when he had decided to express the afiliation he still felt for you out in the open. It’s not like he had expected joyful cheering of encouragement, but he had sure as hell had not expected this. Zeppi looked back at Lo’ak and her heart did backflips as she spotted that familiar smirk plastered upon his face. She tried so hard to retain the eye roll that had inconveniently slipped by her.

That smirk of his resembled his father’s when he had been younger, and although none of them had been even born to witness it, they all knew that it sparked no good sense. “You know what we must do to obtain the attention from the all-so golden son?” the sully boy snickered as he raised his eyebrows tentatively at the girl before him. 

Zeppi rolled her eyes once more at the boy as she understood what he meant at the first try, but a single look at the poor, distressed Neteyam was enough to change her mind. She turned back to Lo’ak before muttering a quick ‘‘make sure it works before i skin you.’’ 

Lo’ak’s eyebrows raised in bewilderment as she actually accepted his stupid idea, in order to save his own brother from the unwanted attention. Plus some heed from the clan wouldn’t do any bad to the youngest Sully son. He brought two of his fingers together, pressing them in an ‘O’ shape as he placed them carefully beneath his tongue.

The shrill tune of his whistle was enough to distract the people from their bickering, and redirect their attention to the two teens. Zeppi felt her blood running cold as her father observed her with narrowed eyes, but she told herself that it was for a good cause. Jake shot him a knowing look, tilting his head in a hostile way as he silently demanded for his son to retain himself from whatever foolish action he was about to commit in front of the whole omaticaya clan. 

He looked straight into Tarsem’s eyes as his wrath turned its aim towards the young man. He watched carefully as Lo’ak’s hands wrapped around his own daughter's waist, pulling her flushed onto his body as he caught her midway into a searing kiss. Tarsem’s and Neytiri both gasped audibly at their children’s actions and Kiri and Jake could only shake their heads from the sidelines. There was just as much platonic love between those two as there was between Zeppi and Neteyam, but they just had to suck it up for the sake of the future Olo’eyktan. For, it was just a simple little innocent kiss.

It didn’t last more than two seconds, but it was enough to startle the crowd from their previous bickering. He unlatched himself from the girl, his hand still resting in the crevice of her waist as he taunted the older man that stared daggers at him and his own daughter. His blood ran cold as Neteyam just stared dumbly at the both of them, standing still in his spot like a tree firmly rooted to the soil. 

Lo’ak shot a subtle annoyed look at his oblivious older brother, signalling him to leave as he distracted their people. Neteyam’s ears raised in astonishment at his brother’s sacrifice (for, he was about to get his ass whooped once they all got back home) and discreetly made a run for it. 

Though he failed to escape the keen eyes of his grandmother, The all great Tsahik. She saw everything, and she knew everything through Eywa’s will. 

Mo’at knew that there was no reason to keep her grand-son away from the sky person that he had fallen so deeply for. Not like she even could if she wanted to, because she knew her grandson like the back of her hand, and she had heard of Eywa’s plans for them anyways. She watched through her piercing yellow eyes as he slipped through the crowd, making a call for his mountain banshee, Seze. 

Mo’at rubbed a hand deeply over her face as she tried to soothe her own frown, because she knew that after this, there was a way bigger crowd of frowns that required her help to soothe. She feared that the father of Zeppi would most likely kill Lo’ak himself if Neytiri hadn’t already. Though when she turned around, she was met with the sight of an empty ground and the sight of some very disappointed parents ahead. 

-

Once you got back to the lab, you shivered from the sudden gust of cold air that blew past your back. The air conditioner did not mix well with the damp clothes that stuck uncomfortably to your body and you were sure that if you didn’t jump in a warm shower right now, you’d die of sickness. The weird looks that you received while entering with your dirtied clothes did not make you feel welcomed in any type of way.

Your injuries burnt as your shirt pressed down against your cuts and growing bruises. Lord knows what kind of infection you’ll receive from those if you don't get them treated anytime soon. The lab was getting noisier and noisier as dinner time approached, and you could spot Norm and Max from afar. Though you didn’t catch on to the communication device that norm had around the throat, his fingers pressing along the buttons as he ended a conversation. 

Strangely, he was in his avatar. You shrugged it off as he probably went out to get some samples, and going out as a human was very dangerous. You and your numerous injuries would know that as of now. Max had been the first to spot you, getting up from his chair in the dinner hall as he waved at you. 

“Ey’ little one, I've gotta job for you,” Norm started, placing his hands upon your shoulder as he pushed you the other way around. You grunted as he pushed his fingers into the flesh of your shoulders and you shrugged his hands off of you. 

“After I've had a shower,” you started walking away towards your cabin. “And a good shoulder massage too.” 

Norm quite literally rushed after you, blocking your passage as you rolled your eyes at him. Dear lord, give yourself some strength before you beat the scientist up right now. You clearly remember not having written 'Please disturb me!’ in bold on your forehead, so why was everybody doing so?

“Just give me a second to explain myself, then I'll let you go!” Norm promised, giving you that sincere look of his. You guessed that a couple more minutes of your time really wouldn’t cost you your life, so why not. You tilted your head to the side, now becoming your signature move for saying; carry on. 

He reestablished his shoulder pushing, directing you towards the avatar program lab. Your suspicions were risen to the top but you’d allow him to explain himself before going off for nothing. Norm had made a promise to the very fed up Jake earlier through his throat mic and he would make you leave in that avatar vessel on this night even if it meant getting his hands bloody. Well he wouldn’t go that far. Maybe. 

Jake was a close friend of his, even if they hadn’t necessarily started on a good foot. It’s been 15 years ever since the great massacre of the home tree and Norm had watched Jake and his little family grow, watching as Neteyam was presented to the clan as well as his first steps on this vicious planet. 

“I need you to go out and fetch some samples for me, and you’re not leaving like this at night.” he said, sounding like a father scolding his daughter for wearing a slutty dress on a night out. You raised an eyebrow at his oddly fatherly tone before it clicked in your brain. Norm was asking you to go out in your avatar. 

“You know what I vowed to myself,” Norm shook his head at your stubbornness and he sighed unimpressed as you began walking away from him again. Though he wouldn’t allow you to, he could only owe Jake and his family so much after everything that they had lived through together. If you did not know of the reasons why he would ask you such a demand for now, you’d sure as hell find out later. 

“And you broke that exact vow like what, twice?!” Norm beamed, and you shot him a distasteful look. Really? Norm was really asking you all of this while he was in his avatar? Why couldn’t he do it himself? So many questions ran wild in your mind, but you kept them from the scientist. Max would always reprimand you when you would speak back to Norm, telling you that he knew what he was doing and that you always had to listen to him. 

“Third time’s the charm!” you chirped humorlessly. 

“Please,” he pleaded “I’ll do anything in return for you!” you cursed yourself for actually considering his demand. After all, how could you deny one of the men that had raised you when your own paternals had not? You sighed from all of the day’s exhaustion, it seemed like you could not catch a rest at all as long as you stood on the lands of Pandora. After securing your message and 3 months free of chores from the older man, you were ready to embark on the adventure that Norm had in reserve for you. 

It was painfully humiliating to re-enter your avatar’s consciousness after pledging so many times that it was the last. Though there was no one around to poke fun at you for it right now, you’d just hurry and get it over with. You grabbed your satchel before leaving, repeating over and over again the name of whichever plant it was that Norm had told you to get. The photo that he had shown you from his iPad was engraved in your brain from how many times he had shown it. 

Watching you leave the lab doors brought foreign feelings up into Norm’s chest, like watching your daughter leave for good as she moves on to her own life. He knew damn well that after tonight, you would be changed, a part of you would not be the same as it once was. Though he knew it would be positive changes, he dwells on the fact that you’re soon to start a seperate part of your own life. 

He tries not to feel too bad about it, instead laughing it off with Max about the fake image of the flower that he had shown you. Maybe if you had taken the proper time to actually observe the picture well, you would’ve noticed the obvious photoshop. Norm grinned to himself, only wishing for Jake’s plan to be successful.

-

Stupid, idiotic Norm. Couldn’t he have gone to fetch his own sample in his own damned na’vi body. Here you were now, in plain sight in the middle of  eclipse as you scavenged for a singular plant for what seemed to be ages. The image that Norm had shown you was starting to get blurry in your brain as time went by, and you were really considering going back to the lab and calling quits for today. 

Though the further you walked into the forest, the closer you seemed to be getting to an open land area. You couldn’t really see it clearly due to the bushes that blocked its entrance, but you knew better than to be noisy while approaching an unknown territory.

The endless adventures that you had lived within the trees in the vast forest had taught you loads, and you knew better than anyone else that predators were hiding from every inch of the woodland. A na’vi’s hearing is known to be just about 4 times better than a human’s hearing, so the obvious wing flapping that could be heard by just about anyone didn't fail to go noticed by you. 

it was useless to try and fight whoever had ambushed you, because you were just about weaponless. Thought your physical strength had grown ever since you had started training, and muscles had even started rippling upon your body. You could only wish that whoever was there was not some taekwondo master of some sorts, because then your muscles would have been rendered useless.

Seze, Neteyam’s ikran was who you had first recognized as you had turned around. It was very obvious to you as to who was the rider, because ikran’s are loyal to only their tamer during their whole life period. His ikran swooshed up dust particles as it settled down on the floor, and now you could properly see the na’vi. 

“How did you find me, here specifically out of anywhere else?” Neteyam pointed towards your beloved ikran, staying silent as he dismounted his own. Shit, you cursed yourself, his ikran must’ve followed the scent of your own all the way until here. 

Though Neteyam’s quiet presence was not what you had desired at the moment, there was really no way of forcing him to go back home. This was the forest, not some private property that you could banish him of. 

Apart from that, that weird clearing that you had spotted earlier was still itching a spot deep into your brain, and if you didn’t explore how, then when would you? You grabbed Neteyam’s hand into yours as you grabbed him towards the area, since he was here, he might as well be of use in case you get attacked by some creature of any sorts. 

Silence is all that lingers between the both of you as you usher him towards the weird scene. Between the longing stare that he subtly sends you, there’s no words exchanged between the both of you. An acrid smell fills both of your nostrils as you pass through the leaves that were used as what it seems like restraints to the zone. 

The burnt grass felt weird and ashy under your feet, leaving a residue of sticky ashes on your skin the more you walked through the area. Neteyam followed shortly after you, dark ashes tainting his dark blue skin. 

He knelt down to ground, bringing his middle and index down to rub against the dried up residue. The ashes spread along his fingers as he brought them up to his nose, sniffing deeply the powdered substance. Neteyam scrunched up his features at the odd smell, researching the power through his developed odora. He could tell that the place had been devastated from weeks before, but by who? And why had nothing regrown or advanced yet? 

There’s an odd patch of lively green grass and moss in the middle of the area, and everything just gets more confusing as the both of you advance towards the centre. The sight was sort of eerie at first, but you soon grew to enjoy the peaceful silence. 

“This is the most romantic place that you found to pour your heart out to me?” you placed your hand hovering your heart, allowing yourself to joke around with the na’vi boy. Neteyam gave you a toothy grin, chucking at your teasing. He turned his face away from you, allowing himself to really bask in the views of this place. He stood up from his kneeling stance, moving on stable legs towards you. 

The both of you stood in what seemed to be a circle of chaos. There was no vegetation that surrounded the both of you, only dried and burnt up grass that blew off with every brush of the breeze. The trees were black from being burnt by whoever had decided to assault this beautiful part of the forest. 

Neteyam tried to move forward towards you, before his foot got stabbed by something on the ground. He threw his hands up in the air rather ungratefully, jumping on one leg as the other sent painful spiky receptions throughout his whole body. You brought a hand to your mouth in an attempt to stiffen your laughter, crouching down before his assaulter as he kept on overdramatizing his injury. 

At your eyesight stood a little growing plant, and you were about to bash him for overreacting his pain. You brought a finger to touch the baby plant, and to your surprise, the growing tree was not soft like you had expected it to be. It pricked your finger softly as you touched it, and you immediately retracted your whole arm back towards you.

Just what exactly was this place? Last thing you remember, there was no warning of a raid or any news about the aftermath of it. So why did you seem to have arrived on a dead man’s land, and why had the Great-Mother guided the both of you to it?

“Listen,” Neteyam’s back is turnt to you now, the only sight that you received was the one of his toned back. You’d love to complain about it, but why even would you when he looked this good? Even during this moment of vulnerability that he has, he’s still just as attractive as he is when he’s fully confident about himself. “I’m sorry, and again I know that a simple apology won’t fix everything that has been happening over the past few weeks.” 

He paused as he looked at you for confirmation. He had expected you to lash at him or to cut him off like you had done numerous of times before, but your focused silence was something that he had not expected and somehow that had grounded him. It gave him the courage to advance, stepping closer and closer towards you. 

“I’m sorry for everything that has happened, I'm sorry for not believing in you when I know that I should've. I trust you with my whole life Y/N, and I’m sorry that I haven't been showing that to you recently.” he apologised for what seemed like the 100th time and now your silence was starting to become unsettling for him. He sighed, probably making a fool out of himself as he spoke for nothing. For, you had no reasons to forgive him, but he was hanging onto a thin thread of hope that you would. 

“I want to stay mad at you forever, for as long as your lungs continue to pump air even!” you yelled, throwing your hands up in the air like a lunatic woman. Neteyam’s eyes widened comically at your historical state, but he was scared to approach you because even with his incredible nocturnal vision, he couldn’t properly see the spiky tree of earlier times. 

You were standing at your full height now, no more crouching before the little plant that had pricked the both of you. His silly fear of the prickly plant had now dissipated as he got lost in your words. They swivelled around his brain and filled his heart with even more ambition. 

“But I know that my heart will always continue to beat for you and no one else, and it hurts just a little when you’re not around,” you teased him, making a ‘little bit’ hand sign to him. It felt like a mountain of worries had just been lifted off Neteyam's shoulders from your playful sentence and relief was written all over his face. 

Neteyam made you feel like you were living, and not just existing. 

“So you forgive me?” he mumbled, full of hope. 

You pretended to think about it for a second, bringing a hand to your chin as you mocked him playfully. There’s another wave of silence that enveloped the both of you and you thought that Neteyam looked a little too serious at the moment. Poor boy just doesn’t know when to let go. 

His intentions were clearer than the pond water that you had bathed in earlier as he approached you with big steps. He seemed almost impatient as he now stood nose to nose with you, one of his hands brushing the hairs behind your head. His touch sent goosebumps to your arms, and you were sure that the little hairs on your arms were standing straight from his touch. 

“I cannot wait for us to do tsaheylu, because then i know that you will not run away from me again.” you flushed because he was already thinking that far ahead. Though usually you would’ve responded with some sort of self deprecating cooment, this time you had simply accepted it. You accepted that Neteyam found you worthy of being his mate instead of arguing with him about how you were some 5 fingered freak that didn’t even have a stable body. 

He was unrelenting, and if he truly did find you unworthy then he wouldn’t have chased you all the way here into this clearing. If indulging in the boy you loved so much despite your differences meant being selfish, then you would gladly take the abhorring title. 

“You sound like you’re trying to baby trap me,” you snickered, using an expression that you had seen on the web that was traditionally used upon the humans on earth. 

“I’m what?” he shook his head, unfamiliar with those strange human tones. God, even his accent was enough to send shivers down your spine. 

“I'm not trying to actually trap you,” he frowned and you only looked at him with a funny look on your face. 

You couldn’t quite pinpoint how much time it had been since you had been staring into his warm amber eyes, but there was a new kind of look that graced his eyes, and you couldn’t even decipher it even if you truly wanted to. There was a mixture of yearning with an accompaniment of want. 

His eyes captured the entirety of your face, from the way that your eyes were doing the exact same thing to him, or the way that your lips looked so inviting. The sudden feeling of his lips against yours was grounding and you had not even had the time to even properly even close your eyes before he had moved. 

The feeling felt rewarding, considering that you both had been waiting for reconciliation after so long. You melted into the kiss, tilting your head to the sides as you allowed yourself to indulge in him. His hands travelled from places to places on your body, starting from the crevice of your neck as they trailed downwards to hold you tightly by the waist. 

Yours were too busy keeping your stable upon his chest. Your knees felt weak from the pure impact that this boy had on you and you were glad that his grip was keeping you standing. The both of you pulled away when air became a necessity, or else you were sure that you could’ve kept going until sunrise and back at it again until sunset. 

Neteyam panted lightly as he recollected himself, laughing softly against your mouth at the both of your tiredness. The feeling of fullness invaded your mind from being so close to your lover after so long, and tight now close just wasn’t close enough. 

“R-right here? I thought you said that it wasn’t romantic enou-“ he panicked, scared that your desires were overpowering your judgement. He didn’t want you to wake up the next morning and be disappointed at what had happened, or even worse, at him. 

You only laughed at his distressed state, Your hand was resting on his heart as you could feel its fast paced pulse. “I’d let you take me at the old shack if it meant being able to be with you, Neteyam” 

“Closer, with you.” you pulled out your queue from the back of your head, the bundle of nerves firmly protected by your long braided hair. He could see your fangs sneaking past your lips as you smiled at him, and who was he to refuse that adoring smile of yours? 

He pulled out his own braid, not hesitant but leisurely. There was no sign of a want for doubling back as you lowered your tendrils towards his, the pink nerves desperately wavering around for something to latch onto. Once they found his, the both of you were hit with a wave of euphoria.

Nothing could compare to the feeling of tsaheylu, and you now understood why it was spoken so highly of. No amount of highs could make you feel as connected or full as you felt while connected to your mate, and you could feel every single part of him. You could feel his ragged breathing, or the way his stomach recoiled with nerves as he stared at you. 

There was something so deep about queue bonding, and it was not  just the fact that Neteyam and you were actual mates now. No it was the intense feeling of love and lust that you could not conceal, and soon his lips had found you again in a passionate bruising. The yearning and want that Neteyam felt earlier was 10 times stronger now, and you could feel it too. 

Wandering hands and starving mouths fed themselves amongst the other, basking in the feeling of the other for as long as the sun was away. May it be true that this place was not as beautiful as the normal na’vi mating grounds, but your love required no astonishing background for the both of you to function. All you needed was the two of you and your wavering hearts and that was just about enough. 

-

Warm sun rays enveloped your vision, despite your eyes being shut close. The bright light passed through your closed eyelids, forcing you to painfully pry them open as you awoke from your slumber. There was not a single sound around you in the forest, from where you laid on a bed of moss. 

The moss felt so comfortable, so inviting as you felt yourself drifting back to unconsciousness. The feeling of euphoria was still running thick through your veins and a new smile graced itself on your soft features. You felt someone shifting besides you, a pair of arms caging you protectively in their embrace. 

Wait, moss? The last thing you remembered was falling asleep on a tiny patch of barely grown grass, next to the tiniest growing tree. Your eyes swaggered over the whole area as you face was still smushed against Neteyam’s torso. 

The chest that served as your pillow was firm and warm and you couldn’t help yourself but to dig your face further into it. Your personal warmer grunted as you applied force to his torso, going silent once more as he fell back into slumber. It had been so long since the both of you had gotten sleep this good, and you blessed tsaheylu for allowing this sense of comfort from one body to another.  

Warmth spread all over your body, from your face that was still busy basking in the sun, to the odd feeling of heat that laid over your back. Confusion and concern overtook your senses as Neteyam could feel it through the bond, his amber eyes peeling open reluctantly. There was a solid moment that passed by before any of you made a move, before you decided to sit up. A weird feeling of coarse hair and a warm body sliding off of you made chills raise up your spine, sitting up further in an alarmed way.

Neteyam followed shortly after you as he shoved an arm protectively around your waist, urging you closer to him. You couldn’t tell if your heart was fluttering from his romantic action or if it fluttered from fear of the viperwolf family that had been sleeping back to back with you. You watched with fright as the mother woke up from her slumber, stretching her paws out towards her cubs as she failed to notice you both at first. 

Neteyam felt your fear, a primal feeling in him awakening the need to protect you above all. The both of you had no weapons other than your bare fists, but he was a strong warrior after all. His shuffled movements sent awareness towards the mom and her cubs, waking them all up in one go. The light blue creature stared at you first, eyes voided of any fear as she softly grunted at you, then its eyes moved towards Neteyam. 

It happened faster than the both of you could even acknowledge it, and soon enough the whole family were left running away from the sight of the warrior. Baffled, the both of you could only stare at the way in which the viperwolves ran away, before the both of you burst into laughter. You turned your head to throw him a ‘what in the hell just happened’ kind of look, but he was already staring at you. 

Your smile faltered as his eyes made way across your features, but it didn’t mean that you were no longer happy. The complete opposite of that. You watched as his eyes scanned your nose, then back to staring straight into your eyes. Neteyam held eye contact with you for a couple of seconds before his eyes dipped towards your lips. Your mouth was slightly agape as you stared back at him, and he leaned down to seal your mouths in a soaring kiss. 

Eyes closed and ears laid back, you both enjoyed each other for a while before pulling away. His heart was beating so much faster than yours, and you could feel it through your bond. You could feel everything just as you had yesterday, you could feel his heart that still pulsated swiftly for you as it had done the previous night. 

“I told you that you had a connection with the Great-Mother.” he referred to the strange encounter with the viperwolves, and you shrugged knowingly. It had made sense to you from the minute your mother had told you of the absence of a biological father, but you wished not to jump to conclusions back then. One of his hands moved up to tuck the a stray braid that framed your face. 

“Look around you, ma Neteyam.” he flushed at the loving name, but executed your demand right after. His eyes widened at the scenery besides the both of you. How was this even possible? Just about last night, Neteyam had been rubbing his fingers over the ashes that engulfed this dead land. Now upon your awakening, the place looked as though a wonderland from any human fairy tail movie. 

The freshly grown grass ran along the whole area, and short trees were still growing to their full potential. Neteyam looked back at you finally, not quite believing what had happened around the both of you while you were sleeping. Surely it must’ve been a sign of some sorts from the All-Mother, because there was no natural explanation for this. 

Your braids laid between the both of you, tendrils still intertwined strongly together. You brought a hand up to pull amongst yours, disconnecting them against your own will and the dissatisfied grunt of Neteyam. “We must go back, your family will start to worry for you,” you stated, acknowledging the fact that the both of you had awakened later than any other na’vi usually did. 

The both of you were too busy in your peaceful slumbers to even bother waking up, if it hadn’t been for the blinding sunlight and the viperwolf jumpscare that you had both received. You looked up to a clearing within the thick leaves of the trees that surrounded you as you noticed a flock of ikrans flying above the both of you. The forest was just waking up, and so had the both of you before any of you manage to get busted by a wandering thanator.

“For us,” Neteyam corrected you, and you tilted your head in confusion. “They will be worried for us.” he said, making your fangs stick out as you grinned at him. He leaned in to give you one last peck, before standing up and dusting himself. Like the gentleman that he had been raised to be, he helped you up with little to no effort.  

The way back home was endearing. Since the both of you had missed so much time together due to everything that was going on priorly, you made it your task to catch up while going back home. The forest welcomed you back into its embrace, and oh how amazing it felt to be back home. To be back in the body that you loved so much. 

Entering the village meant receiving the numerous prying stares, but Neteyam had vowed to you that he didn’t not mind yesterday. He had promised you that it was something that he would go through if it meant being with you. So he took it with pride, clasping your hand in his tightly for everyone to see. His back was straight, head up high as he walked besides you. 

You felt more confident then you had ever done in your years of walking on the lands of this clan. You were mated now, and if they wanted to kick you out, then they’d have to kick Neteyam out too. No one dared to mess with Neteyam, because he was their future Olo’eyktan but most importantly the current Olo’eyktan’s son. It was immoral to do so and only a fool could oppose Neteyam. 

It felt as though you were reborn as one of them, walking through their lands like you were one of them. But you were, and Neteyam had made it his duty to remind you of it every second yesterday. 

You didn’t quite understand why they called it ‘the walk of shame’ until you had to walk to Neteyam’s family tent. Where inside you knew that his entire family was waiting for the both of you, and it was obvious that two young adults left alone in the forest at night would do a little more than just discussing. 

lo’ak had been the first to spot you, much to your misfortune. A knowing smirk was plastered on his face as he looked between the two of you. He just couldn’t wait two more minutes to tease his older brother and he had no shame in doing it before his family. Tuk was quick to follow behind him, simply happy to see her family coming back. 

Lo’ak threw a hand over Neteyam’s shoulder, glancing at him from the with that taunting smile. 

“You are a man now, brother! Keep the babies for later, Tuk is already too much.” his older brother ignored him, only rolling his eyes as Tuk yelled at Lo’ak for his remark. He flinched pathetically as the little girl yelled at him, afraid of her wrath because she resembled their mother a little too much. And damn had he received a punishment from Neytiri after that stunt that he had pulled just the previous night. 

“He has been a man for a long time now.” Kiri stepped in and Neteyam’s cheeks flared at her remark. She referred to the one time that she had caught him sneaking out at night, a little after your relationship had been made public. You brought a hand up to your mouth to stifle your laughter.

Jake and Neytiri didn’t bother getting up from their spots, instead they awaited you from inside the tent. The scent of fresh fruits was almost overwhelming and you felt yourself begin to crave for the sweet delicacy. You scrunched up your nose as the sugary smell invaded your senses. There was a curt moment where Neteyam had laughed at your antics, before grabbing your hand to pull you inside. 

Neytiri had a knife in hand, and for a second you feared that she would cut you in the throat if she knew that you had mated with her son. Though she noticed the way you were dying the food with so much want, she invited the both of you to sit besides her and Jake. 

The air was not stiff like it usually was and their home was clear of any tension for the first time while you sat in it. It felt so gratifying to be able to have a normal meal with Neteyam’s family without Neytiri trying to pull the both of you apart. You were quick to dive into the platter full of a variety of fruits, holding yourself back from completely assaulting that platter because you still did have manners. 

Neteyam sat beside you, his stomach rumbling but he failed to do anything about it. He just couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You mesmerised him in a way that he couldn’t explain, and all you were doing was eating a bowl full of fruits. he felt like he was in one of those corny romantic movies that Norm used to show his little siblings, where the main character was so enamoured by their love interest that the world around them just goes deaf to their ears.

Though Jake just had to ruin that.

Neteyam’s ears flicker at the sound of his father’s voice calling out for him, and he reluctantly snapped out of his in-love stance. His eyes move towards his mother first, who is quiet but she’s smiling nevertheless at what his father must've said during his daydream. 

“I said you must eat, regain your forced from all that 

energy you’ve spent!” Jake teased his son in all the most fashionable Sully ways, and Neytiri hit him across the back of his head with the bottom of her palm. Dear lord, could anyone in this tent other than Tuk please just stop embarrassing the both of you. 

Neytiri rose from her silent state, as she got serious despite her former laughing form. “The future Tsahik cannot keep on detaching herself from her body to tend to another, she has to always be present.” your eyes widened and you nearly turnt your whole body towards your mate at his mothers words. She was considering you as their future Tsahik, Neytiri was acknowledging you in front of her whole family, 

Though she had no other choice now, because you had bonded with her son. You had so much more to learn about the roads on how to become a good Tsahik, but your strong connection with Eywa was already a good start. Neteyam however, looked like he had seen a ghost. His face was a little paler than usual, and he didn’t seem to be responding either.  

“You’re implying that…” he trailed off, looking for any sort of reconfort in his dad’s eyes. You quickly brought a hand over to squeeze his own, despite not knowing what he was so afraid of, your mate was clearly distressed and you couldn’t just stand there and watch him be. His ears flattened at your contact, his features softening slightly as he looked back on you. 

The sound of Lo’ak fake gagging from behind of you threw everyone out of whatever state Neytiri’s words had casted over you all, and he thanked his brother in some way. 

“She doesn’t have to, we'll discuss it later on.” Jake tried to soothe his son’s nerves, casting a warning look towards Neytiri so she does not open her mouth and frighten their eldest son once more. He knew that things were already stressful upon Neteyam’s shoulder, as they had always been, and he did not wish to stress his son furthermore on a day that he’s supposed to be enjoying. 

Nevertheless, breakfast was spent basking in the warmth of your now in-law family’s tent in the arms of your husband. You didn’t know what Neteyam was fearing so bad but you told yourself that you didn’t need to know for now, it could be discussed later on, as Jake had let it be known. 

For now, all you could be focused on was the piping hot meal that was served to you and Neteyam. He was clad in one of his best outfits, one that covered his torso fully, but he didn’t need to be half-bare to still be outstanding. You grabbed one of the teylu from your own plate, bringing it towards Neteyam as he looked at you in suspicion. 

“Cmon it’s going to fall!” you urged your mate, wiggling the worm before his face as though he was a puppy looking for a reward. Neteyam rolled his eyes playfully at your antics, opening his mouth as you shoved the teylu straight into his mouth. He gagged from surprise at first, his eyes widening at the dirty trick that you had played on him. Oh that’s how you were deciding to play? Then he could play that game too. 

Your ears flattened as you noticed him placing his wooden platter down, urging his body towards yours as he stood up. Eywa, you didn’t even have the time to put your own plate down as he ran after you, chasing you throughout the whole camp. Both of your laughter resonated around the camp and Mo’at watched from afar with pride at how far the both of you had reached. 

It didn’t take you both a lot of running and jumping to dodge a bunch of sitting logs before you had ran across a certain silent girl that you had learnt to be fond of. You stopped abruptly in your tracks, sending Neteyam nearly running into you. His arms caged your waist as he was sent to a sudden stop, holding your platter quickly in his hands before you could drop it. 

The incredulous look that he had on his face was like a reward and you leant forward to give him a quick peck on his cheeks as if asking for forgiveness. 

“I was looking for the both of you, I see you have finally found each other,” Zeppi said, a deep meaning in the simple words that she had spoken to the both of you. Her voice cut both of you off from whatever sappy romantic gesture that was going on. You eyed your best friend besides her, and you noticed how her eyes kept on flickering back and forth towards the taller girl besides her. 

Zuko, and how could you forget her. The girl that had taught you how to see without words. The same girl that had helped you when you were in desperate need and now the same exact girl that you had made your own personal mission in helping.

Helping her because Eywa were both oblivious. Standing in front of them was like standing before two awkward teens that had just confessed to each other, but that didn’t know what else was to ensure. 

God and it was painful to watch too, you couldn’t even imagine what it felt like to be any of them at that moment. Zuko was practically beaming purple as she looked at Zeppi, and you nudged your mate slightly in the stomach for him to look. 

The mute girl smiled at you, hesisting to hug you as you made the first step. It had been so, so long since you had last seen your best friend, and she had missed you loads. She had been spending more time with the daughter of Tarsem as of recently, Zeppi. It helped her to come clear with her own feelings, and her heart no longer ached as she saw you happily bonded forever now with Neteyam. 

Her heart sought someone else, stronger than it had for you. Because maybe she deemed that the both of you were soulmates, platonic soulmates. You were someone who had seen her when no one else did, and she had taught you to see in areas that you couldn’t. Though her feelings now fluttered for someone else, and she was sure of it. 

“And I see that so have you,” Neteyam added, making the both women flustered at their oblivious states. You snickered slightly, happy that everyone rejoiced all at once. You had promised the both of them that once you were done and over with your new duties, that all of you would go ikran racing together once more. Neteyam was the cockiest, affirming that he’d win again, and they all laughed at the memory of Neteyam winning a race that he wasn’t even part of.

-

“What are you thinking about?” Neteyam’s voice startled you, nearly making you drop your songcord. The new bead that had been added marked the new life that was offered to you and Neteyam, and it made you sentimental just to think about it. You couldn’t give him a verbal answer just yet, because you were afraid that you would burst into tears in that overwhelmed state of yours.

It was getting late at night, and the both of you had already moved all of your belongings into your new hut. Well all of Neteyam’s belongings, given that you had yet to go and fetch your things from the lab yet. The soft sounds of the crickets filled the void of noise between the both of you, filling in the comfortable silence. The only lights surrounding you both came from the soft moonlight, and your luminous freckles shone beautifully across your faces. 

You patted the grassy spot next to you, and Neteyam wasted no time getting seated besides you. His arm wrapped itself around your shoulders, bringing your head to lay comfortably against him. His nose scrunched up at the sweet smell of your perfume, one that you had made from crushing some sun lilies together into a liquid that you’d apply to your skin with your fingers. He felt so relaxed in your presence, like he was allowed to lay his guard down at anytime that you were near. 

He found comfort in you, being the person that he goes to everytime he feels like being vulnerable. And it worked in both ways, because that’s what being mated is like. 

You both had the life that you dreamed of and now your shared hut was awaiting your presence for the first night. It felt like a dream because you had never imagined that one day you’d finally be able to be freely happy with Neteyam. For as long as you remember, there always had to be some na’vi up your ass or trying to mess with your relationship and now that those times were over, you just felt so content. 

Content that Neteyam and you were getting the happy ending that you both deserved and content for the people that had helped you earn this life. You wouldn’t forget to go check up on Norm and Max tomorrow morning to let them catch up on everything, because they were family to you. 

You felt Neteyam’s calloused hands grip onto your chin, bringing you out of your daze. His eyes were full of love as he stared down at you, and just a year ago his stare would’ve been filled with annoyance or even distaste. The broken promises that he had once made to you were now granted but he had yet to make the biggest one yet. Though as you sit before each other, hearts full of adoration and futures empty for the both of you to write, he just can’t help but say it to you. 

“I promise to always give you all of my love.” Neteyam said, before crashing the both of your lips together in a passionate kiss. Your hands slivered over the back of his neck as you held him close to you, like he would disappear if you let go. There were little things that you both knew on this gigantic planet and you were still both so young, but the night was just as young and you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with the man that had changed your life. For the better. 

-

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[umbrellacam]

Reading A Lonely Place of Dying is so interesting in so many ways, but the question I'm still rotating in my mind is about Dick, and specifically why he ends up smiling and soft-advocating for Tim to be Bruce's Robin, after he had his morality crisis over young heroes with Jason's death.

So when he finds out about Jason's death, Dick feels guilty over giving Jason his Robin costume and not being there when he died:

New Teen Titans #55

To the extent that, later in the same issue, he unilaterally fires 15-year-old Danny Chase from the Titans, over Donna and Kory's objections, citing what happened to Jason. He even expresses doubt over his own young age when he became Robin, wondering whether that was a mistake:

New Teen Titans #55

However, when Dick visits Bruce in Gotham to both express his condolences over Jason's death and also confront him over not telling Dick about it, he explicitly rejects Bruce's implication of blame:

New Teen Titans #55

And later, when the Gargoyle is mentally torturing him over his past failures to the Titans, to Bruce, and Jason, Dick breaks through his self-blame issues and firmly asserts that there was nothing he could have done to prevent Jason's death.

Secret Origins (Vol. 2) #3

But understanding his lack of blame logically isn't the same as being totally past it, as it's part of Dick's larger cycle of guilt, as he acknowledges to his therapist:

The New Titans #57

So how does Dick get from here, still wrestling with guilt and feeling ambivalent about the idea of young heroes as a whole, to the end of A Lonely Place of Dying, where he smiles and basically urges Bruce to give Tim a chance to become Robin?

Like, yes, Dick then spends the entirety of Batman: Year Three worried about Bruce's tenuous mental state after Jason's death, reaching out to him in the midst of Batman's reckless, violent spiral, trying to both express care and to call his mentor and hero back to his foundations of crime-fighting through careful detective work, not through brutality - and getting rejected by Bruce over and over. Even while being proud of Dick's methods and the hero he's grown into, Bruce just can't seem to pull himself out of his own morass of self-destruction. Dick eventually has to leave him to it, though he clearly hasn't stopped worrying about Bruce by the start of ALPoD.

Yes, Tim impresses Dick multiple times over the course of ALPoD. First at the circus with his reflexes and his quick thinking (apparently almost as much as he irritates and baffles Dick with his stubborn evasiveness and pushy presumption, lol this total gremlin). Then at Wayne Manor when Tim goes through his deduction of Batman's and Robin's identities, although this one is more an implication through Dick's decision to show Tim the Cave immediately afterward, and Alfred's words to Tim.

Batman #441

And yet Alfred's sentiment here is immediately contradicted when Tim insistently pushes the Robin costume at Dick, and Dick gets pissed off, saying that, "When Jason died, he took Robin with him. And no matter how much anybody may want it - you can't bring back the dead."

The New Titans #61

How does Dick go from this to accepting Tim as the new potential Robin all of two issues later!! This boy's emotions are so mixed up, lol.

I feel like while Dick is clearly angered by Tim's presumptions, kind of baffled and creeped-out by the sort of parasocial fixation Tim has on both Bruce/Batman and Dick/Robin, below the surface he's also genuinely absorbing Tim's driving love and care for them both. Like, he's way too ticked off to show it or even think of it consciously at the moment - and it's hard to process!! despite that day at Haly's Circus tying them together a decade ago, this kid is a rando, it's out of nowhere, it's wild to be confronted with!! - but on some level he has to be touched by Tim's care and passion for their legacy. He wouldn't make his heel-turn later and smile at Tim so approvingly otherwise.

Like, Dick wants Bruce to have a partner that cares for him that much, that forces him to care for himself in a way that he clearly hasn't been since Jason's death. And Dick is both afraid and aware that he can't fill that role anymore - that he can try to stand beside Batman as Nightwing and support him that way, but he can't stand behind Bruce in his protective shadow again, can't cramp himself back into Robin.

So even as Dick is making line-faces at this bizarre kid pushing himself at them, talking about Jason and Dick and Bruce and what Batman needs like he knows better than Dick, UGH… Dick is also considering… is maybe moved a bit by that star-bright conviction and overflowing love in the face of all the doubts that seem to plague both Bruce and Dick lately… is maybe hoping, seeing a possible light in the dark. Not on a conscious level, perhaps, but it's maybe churning below the surface with everything else Dick is thinking about.

Anyway, Dick still tracks Batman down and tries being a supportive partner as Nightwing, even going "I'm here. Always," when Batman finally brings himself to admit that he needs help. Only to IMMEDIATELY run face-first into Bruce's control issues and post-Jason-disregarding-orders trauma - "You're not with the Titans now. If you want to be with me, you follow my orders. Now do as I say." (The New Titans #61) Oof, instant I'm-NIGHTWING-not-ROBIN friction, but Dick swallows it for now.

Then Two-Face blows up a building on top of both of them, and Tim (and Alfred!) have to rescue them both. By the time that they've been dug out, Alfred and Dick are both praising Tim's potential to a very baffled and alarmed, verging on angry, Batman lol. Dick and Alfred then grin at each other while young Tim struggles against his intimidation and argues the tremendously (and understandably!) reluctant Batman to a standstill.

Batman #442

As they drive away afterward (Bruce, Dick and Tim in the Batmobile to track down Two-Face - using the tracker Tim planted on him, good job Timmy!! - and Alfred toward home in a separate car), we get the following thought-bubbles:

Bruce: Even if he's right, I don't want another partner. Dick: Bruce, for once, think with your heart, not with cold logic. Tim: He doesn't want me, but he hasn't said no. So just do your best… Alfred: …One way or another, the rest will take care of itself.

Batman #442

"Think with your heart, not with cold logic" - so does Dick's line here mean that this is what he himself is doing at this point? Setting aside his logic, his fears and reservations about young heroes, about Jason's death, about putting another young boy in the Robin costume - because Tim joining them, maybe becoming Bruce's new partner, feels right? Because everything that Tim has shown of himself so far means the kid deserves a chance, at least? Because Bruce's caution after Jason's death would mean that he'll make sure to 'do it right this time'? Because Tim's passion and conviction could be what Batman needs, and - maybe as much if not more than that - could be something that deserves to be nurtured into something great, despite Dick's own (and Bruce's) fears?

Because Dick has to be wrestling with and at least quelling (if not fully letting go of) his fears about the risks to young heroes in these issues, it doesn't make sense for him to be okay with Tim as Robin otherwise. And it can't all be about what use Tim could be to Bruce - the leash he could put on Batman's out of control behavior. That's far too selfish and manipulative as a sole motive for Dick Grayson; especially after Jason, he wouldn't encourage a kid to jump into the meat-grinder of vigilantism solely to save Bruce or preserve the legacy of Batman & Robin.

I feel like Dick has to also be seeing something in Tim here, his potential, his determination, the good that he can and wants desperately to do, that Dick has to respect, has to think deserves a shot. When Alfred goes, "The boy should be a politician!" and Dick replies, "He'd do more good with Bruce," (Batman #442; panels above), it does feel like he's thinking of the difference Tim himself could make in the world. Dick has to be remembering why he himself could not be put off from the vigilante life when he was even younger than Tim, why Jason also went out there and did his best every night. To help people, in a way that mattered.

Anyway, Tim also puts in a good showing when they confront Two-Face, despite giving Bruce a near heart-attack over this strange unfamiliar boy wearing his son's uniform when Tim briefly appears to have been crushed - only for him to have saved himself and warned Batman and Nightwing of danger through his quick thinking.

Afterward, Alfred and Dick both advocate for Tim, so Dick is clearly pulling for Tim to be given a chance. Dick's smile here, my heart.

Batman #442

I still wish they'd been a little more explicit with the turn of Dick's mindset here, but at the same time I guess it's pretty effective as show-not-tell!

All in all, I feel like ALPoD was very effective storytelling, well done Marv, hugely enjoyable read, and I can't wait to read more.

#I had to reconstruct this entire post from scratch after Tumblr ate the whole fucking thing GRAHHHH 👿👿👿 #Dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #Dick and Tim #Bruce and Dick #Bruce and Tim #Dick and Jason #Bruce and Jason #Dick Grayson meta #Tim Drake meta #this wasn't really supposed to be meta so much as me trying to think through Dick's emotional through-line but eh! #those are the tags I have lol #dcu #DC Comics panels #Cam reads comics #Batman #Batman and Robin #Nightwing #A Lonely Place of Dying #Cam posts #Cam writes

[polyklok]

J, K (fluff) and/or I, A, V (smut) for murderface? :) sorry if that's too many LMAO

J- Jealousy

Oh my god, yes. It’s an issue. If another person even interacts with you, he’ll being sitting in the distance, pouting because you obviously like this rando more than you love the boyfriend you’ve been doting over for months. It spawns out of his crippling insecurity and it’s so easy for him to convince himself that you’ll fall for anyone who treats you semi-nicely. You’re gonna need to reassure him out of it.

But, hypothetically, if you get bothered or annoyed by someone hitting on you, he snaps out of it and begins to incoherently yell at them until they fuck off.

K- Kisses

When William kisses you, he fully leans into it; better do it against a wall, cause otherwise he’s gonna fall and he’s bringing you down with him.

He’s not a bad kisser, honestly, but he can go hard for a long time. It’s difficult to just give him a peck on the lips, cause he’s gonna follow you and expect more. He’s not satisfied until both of your lips are aching.

He also likes when you’re standing next to him and kiss which ever part is closest, like his arm or shoulder, for convenience. He likes that you’re thinking about him in random moments like that.

I- Intimacy

Murderface essentially has two kinds of sex; extremely romantic or extremely filthy.

When he’s feeling it, he can be very intimate and passionate with you. He has a thing for eye contact, and so he'll want a position where he can see your face and gauge your reactions. He might babble praise for you without even realizing it, will always be touching you in all the right places, and even puts your pleasure over his! It's all very sweet.

That being said, all of these moments are gonna be spontaneous. He's not a cover-the-bed-in-rose-petals-and-light-candles kind of guy.

A-Aftercare

I believe Murderface likes it rough, so you're both gonna need a good amount of aftercare to recover once the deed is done. Unless he passes out right away, which his common, he's gonna desperately crave cuddles and some sweet nothings, even if he won't admit it. William is very stubborn.

Once he's had his fill of TLC, he'll be glad to focus on you. Over time, he's found the perfect places to massage you and likes to place kisses on your newly-forming bruises. He won't say much to you though, may put on some garbage TV show. Showers will usually be preserved for the morning with him.

V- Volume

Loud? Yes. Vocal? Yes. Coherent?...no. He's gonna give you plenty of good groans, grunts, swears, and dirty talk but you won't be able to understand the majority of it. You know he's having a good time when it sounds like he is butchering some Germán words.

If anyone else wants to make a request, refer back to here

#dethklok #metalocalypse #polyklok is real #william murderface #dethklok headcanon #metalocaypse headcanon #request filled #metalocalypse murderface #metalocalypse x reader

[jellybeanium124]

I think season 3 had a very big structural/foundational problem that I haven’t seen anyone else touch on yet.

In OSP’s “Trope Talk: Mary Sue” video, Red says “And that’s what a Mary Sue is, not just the center of the universe, but the only real thing in the universe.” Now, I’m not about to argue that any of the Hargreeves are a Mary Sue, or that all of them are as a group- I just think that the last bit is really applicable to them. This season, the Sparrows, Umbrellas, Harlan, and Reg feel like the only real things in the universe (Stan, I guess too, for the first half, but then he gets snapped and it’s like he wasn’t real).

In seasons 1 and 2, you had memorable side characters, both major and minor, to help the setting feel like a real place. There were other people with other missions going on. This season, who did we have? Chet? Memory!Ray? We have Harlan, I suppose, but he’s dead by the end of episode 6, and there aren’t any other side characters to continue making the world feel bigger than the Hargreeves and their issues (versus when Eudora died in S1, you still had Hazel, Cha Cha, Agnes, the Handler, Herb, Dot, and the forever beloved Kenny’s Mom).

Now, maybe this was on purpose. By episode 8, the rest of the world was actually gone. But, even if it was on purpose, it gave this season a kind of cramped, insular feeling.

Why weren’t the police/government at the Sparrow’s doors demanding their help? You could’ve brought back Eudora and Beaman. How come there weren’t any randos getting excited to see Jayme and Alphonso at the pharmacy (BRING BACK KENNY’S MOM TO BE A SPARROW FANGIRL, COWARDS)? Why didn’t the Mothers of Agony and Pogo get a bigger role? Where was Klaus’s cult??

I don’t really know how to end this other than to say that the world of s3 felt very, very small. Did any of y’all feel this way?

#tua #tua s3 #tua season 3 #tua s3 spoilers #the umbrella academy #the sparrow academy #reginald hargreeves #harlan cooper #kenny's mom

[csphire]

Meet Anna

Legal Name: Anna Smith

Nickname / Aliases: My Sweet, My Dear or Button (Astarion), Cuzzyl, Sweetums or Oury (Dammon), Cuddlebug, Oury and Kitten (Karlach), Dear Heart, My Lady and Pixie (Wyll)

Background: Artisan (Jeweler/Enchanter)

Age: Unknown estimated around 30s?

Pronouns: She / Her / They

Race/Subrace: High Half-Elf

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Deities: It's complicated. Tymora, she prays to the most followed by extending respects to Jergal, Lathander, Ilmater, Loviatar, and Corellon Larethian too.

Class / Subclass: Warlock (Archfey) / Cleric (Tymora Light Domain)

Instruments of Choice: Humming? Flute?

(She's not really musically inclined.)

Weapons of Choice: Shortbow, Crossbows, Hand Crossbows, Daggers, Staves, Mace, Trident and Shield

Love Interest(s): (She's Polyamorous Semi-Closed)

No randos on a whim, only good friends, basically. She's all about full discloure if she wants to pursue someone new. But she's at a place where she feels rather settled and happy in the polycule she's a part of now. Spouses and lovers are listed in chronological order.

Spouses:

Astarion (Star & You): Their relationship is a rocky one. Both of them have some serious baggage from past trauma. Their respective experiences both help understand one another's more prickly moods and defensive moments. But it sometimes causes problems between them too as they can rub each other raw. Since Anna is a survivor of domestic abuse by her first lover over a decade ago "bite night" and the idea of Astarion feeding off of her is not something she thinks is sexy or enjoys. The first time she permitted it because he said he needed it. Second time again she was trying to figure out if she could tolerate continuing to help keep him in that way. But afterwards she found the courage to admit it deep down bothered her. They settled upon a compromise of sorts. She has no issue with him literally licking her wounds and taking advantage of other opportunities to enjoy her blood that naturally occur. True they bicker like an old married couple often but do love one another greatly. She gifts him sketches and drawings of him and he often gifts her all kinds of treats to indulge her sweet tooth.

Dammon (Sunshine & Hun): Is the one she cuddles with and is the most fiercely protective over, which is warranted given he's only got 8 hp. She does her best to not have favorites and love all her spouses equally but... Dammon she gets along and has the most in common with compared to all the others. They rarely argue and at most lightly tease one another. It's never been bumpy with him only smooth sailing since they realized and acted on their feelings for one another. Their flirting is more honest and sincere. They are very gentle with one another. Both artisans, after the defeat of the Elder brain, they end up spending the most time at home together working side by side while the others all work outside of the home. He with his weapons and armor and her creating and enchanting jewelry as well as some of his stock. Although Dammon can get distracted in a project he's usually the first if not the second to notice if something is bothering her that she's in denial of or is trying to shrug off. Also out of all of her spouses, he's the one who knows how to get her to calm down and check her temper the quickest. Astarion, much to his vexation, still doesn't know how Dammon does this.

Karlach (Beautiful & Wifey): These two can wind one another up and get rather excitable and loud quick. Together they can turn into absolute cussing goofballs much to Dammon, Wyll, and Astarion's woe but usual delight. Even though she's out most of the day when she comes home Karlach has a knack for making up for it and brightening up any evening. I think the only things she and Anna only really quarrel about now are Karlach being a touch messy and Anna "getting too much of a stick up her ass." Do they help one another with their hair, yes. Hair and horn care they all help one another with, it's a bonding thing for all of them. Right behind Dammon, Karlach usually ends up with most cuddles from Anna than anyone.

Lovers:

Wyll (Handsome & Honey): Wyll is honestly more Karlach's main spouse than Anna's or the others. Karlach and he share a deep bond after all the trials they faced in Avernus together. Although Anna and him don't spend much time together they get along well, flirt, and cuddle with one another when they can. Anna has two left feet but with Karlach and Wyll's help, she's getting better at dancing. With Astarion and Karlach, Wyll is often away from home. The trio are deeply engaged in the politics of the city and trying to help manage it. Often this leaves Anna and him only able to write some rather romantic and risqué letters to one another.

Halsin & Shadowheart: We all know Halsin likes to roam and he's not one for the city. So his visits are rare but delightful all the same. It's usually Astarion and Anna who pounce him first to give him a big warm welcome to the city together.

With Shadowheart, she visits a little more often than Halsin does. But usually, Halsin will join her. They're sorta an item as after everything has settled down in Baldur's Gate Shadowheart and her parents decide to follow Halsin to the former shadowcursed lands and work to continue to heal them. Rolan: To put it simply Dammon and her usually do their best to team up to help prevent the wizard from working too hard. All three of them share a business and personal relationship. Both Dammon and Anna sell a majority of their work to Rolan to help keep Sorcerous Sundries stocked with quality enchanted goods. He's in the running to become a fourth spouse for Anna and Dammon.

Please note: that the sex in this polycule is not as wild or as frequent as one thinks. It's more swapping bedmates on occasion than anything. Wyll and Karlach tend to sleep together. Anna and Dammon tend to pair up too when it comes to resting and having sex. Astarion likes to split his time between his spouses and will occasionally go off to visit Sebastian. Shadowheart and Halsin again visit rarely and are warmly welcomed by most. Threesomes and foursomes might happen once every few months. Orgies, more than four participants, are never really planned and might only occur once a year if that.

Did she really screw the Dream Guardian? Technically... um yes. I did not save it, but it still counts according to Steam. Best Friends: Gale, Lae'zel, Jaheira, Alfira and Lakrissa. Personality: Anna can cuss and be blunt as a sailor and get just as loud and excitable as Karlach, but most of the time she's demure and prefers to keep a low profile about strangers. She seems to be kind, polite, and a quiet type of person. One you'd least expect to draw in close, slip a blade into one's ribs, and twist with perfectly calm and collected look. Although she was usually her companion's defacto leader most who met them were unable to tell who was in charge until she stepped forward and started the talking. The kind of intimidation she pulls is all in the eyes and calm actions rather than size or muscles. She rarely uses that method and prefers deception and more charismatic approaches. If there is a problem she tends to grin, bear it, and will try to tackle it herself. Her greatest flaw? She's an expert in bottling up some of her emotions. She struggles with vulnerability and asking for help. But it's something she's working on with the help of her spouses and friends. It also sometimes takes her a while to process her feelings. If she gets upset, angry, or frustrated, she tends to retreat when overwhelmed to sort or cry them out. However, she rarely now spurns any of her spouses or friends who follow to offer comfort or a sympathetic ear to help her resolve an internal or external turmoil.

Bio: There are around two versions of Anna actually. One born on Toril and just your average half-elf artisan warlock. The other is a former human from Earth who woke up in a pod, realized she wasn't in her bed or human anymore, had a tiny freak out but proceeded to suck it up and use her meta knowledge of the game to keep herself and her companions alive. A whole MGIT (Modern Girl In Toril) because I'm a sucker for that troupe and I want to have fun.

Now Earth Anna is a little admittedly self insert-ish. I can't afford to travel and I'm currently not well enough for it so... vacationing in my fan fics. Some things about Anna are based on me and others are not depending on the fic.

Simply put both start off being an artisan warlock half-elf with some emotional baggage that pales in comparison to Astarion's. But it’s enough to help them understand one another better than those who have not been so deeply hurt and controlled.

Before she was abducted Toril Anna was a jeweler in Baldur’s Gate who years earlier secured a pact with an archfey of the Seelie court. Her last name is a pretty common one for humans. Although her human father came from a long line of blacksmiths for decades he served as a Flaming Fist. Anna learned her trade of jewelry-making from her elven mother. What's become of them both is unknown at this time. Anna hopes they fled the city to relatives in Neverwinter.

Her Patron: The assumption they’re from the Seelie court is based on some in-game dialogue we can get when trying to get into the circus. Between you and me I lowkey loath how a Tav or Durge’s patron is barely acknowledged, and we get crumbs of information about them, absolute crumbs.

Toril Anna entered into a pact shortly after fleeing an abusive lover. It was not the best of plans, to just leave him and Baldur’s Gate as fast as possible for another city where she could start over but she feared for her life. How she met her patron one could say was a whole lucky meet-cute story. She literally stumbled over them and profusely apologized. Charmed by her sweet nature, good manners and also finding out why she was in such a hurry, the fey extended to her a bargain to give her power and also taught her how to give her goods a stronger enchantment with a small cost. Now all of Anna’s enchantments always turn out to have a tiny bit of chaos to them but nothing her customers will ever notice… usually.

Unlike Wyll, Anna and her patron have a mostly respectful, sometimes chaotic, very protective, and loving relationship. But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Anna is well aware fey can be fickle, easily offended, and therefore dangerous. For starters, she suspects her patron is behind her abusive lover’s untimely and grisly demise. Something she found out years later after her patron coaxed her into returning to Baldur’s Gate with assurances that with her new powers, she would not need to leave and she could disappear easily enough in the large city.

Currently, her patron on occasion only asks her to do some odd and seemingly harmless things to set off a little chaos in the world. What seems like a few setups for pranks or displacing a stone from a circle of them in some forest. Some of these things lead to disastrous results but nothing fatal for anyone… usually. Her patron loves chaos like most fey and was tickled pink when she stole the Blood of Lathander mace. Anna is also obligated to help other fey in need from the Seelie court like the pixie in the lamp. Killing fey from the Unseelie court such as hags and redcaps also delights her patron as well.

Thanks for reading this far and bear in mind this is a work in progress. I may or may not edit this a bit more in the future.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #Anna #oc tav #oc bio #wip #polyamory #polyamourous #ethical non monogamy #bg3 dammon #bg3 Karlach #bg3 astarion #bg3 rolan

[princesstokyomoon]

i hath been tagged! owo by @nsfwitchy !!!! (this was a nice distraction from mean brain syndrome ty)

First Ship: this..... is a hard one to answer as someone with memory issues, and who forced myself to care about shipping when i was younger cus i thought it was what I "had to do" to enjoy something 😂 it never came naturally to me as a kid, only after i saw people online obsessing over it did i even try. so what my first attempt was i couldnt tell you cus i just did not care about it. i CAN tell you my first selfship though, that i DO remember clear as day being kovu from lion king 2

Three Ships: this is MUCH easier to answer, cus there are so few things i Legitimately consider myself to ship xD Rufus & Goal from Deponia, Aeryn Sun & John Crichton from Farscape, and..... hmmm what's a good third one that ISNT a selfship..... OOOOO Eleanor Shellstrop & Chidi Anagonye from The Good Place, i would sell my Soul for both of them, I don't know why I forget them so much I want what they have

Last Song: i could NOT tell you tbh, i was listening to a "Whiskey Blues" playlist on youtube and stopped when it froze, i wasn't really paying attention to what tracks were on it.

Last Movie: The Three Musketeers film, and hollyyy shit it was fun i do NOT understand how i never see anyone talk about it, i know i dont tend to enjoy most films so maybe my judgement isnt the same as the average guy on the street, but like???? it was cute, silly, and had a lightly 'pirates of the carribean' vibe, how did it not do better when it came out????

Currently Reading: i havent touched it in a month cus moving stress combined with my general struggle to read since uni, but i started "The Musician's Way - A Guide to Practice, Performance, and Wellness" by Gerald Klickstien in november, and what i DID manage to read i really enjoyed.

Currently Watching: at this Exact second in time? Valor Academy Issue 24: The Things We Do For Love

Currently Consuming: ....does.... does chewing gum count as consuming????

Currently Craving: .....uhhhmmmmm..... well to be Frankly honest, i have had a craving for someone to tie me up and or collar me for like a week now (thats not an invitation for randos to message me). other than that, sleep i guess, i feel like Shite, but i cant sleep lmao

anyone else wants to play, feel free to consider it a tag from me <3

#looking at those three ships.... #i feel like maybe i have a thing for 'fucked up star crossed lovers' #thats fun i never noticed that trend before

[evilangelfiji]

A very brief list of proof that the writers hated Duke Crocker

Spoilers ahead and Nathan/Duke shipping

They didn't even name his mother

Colarado what a stupid thing to keep bringing back they just kissed they didn't even show an AU where Duke had a happy loving relationship. Nathan in the trouble free world was married ro some rando but Duke was alone. Duke is always forever alone.

"Ot3" No ot3 for me they are just using Duke. They had potential but they never let it get anywhere because nathan/audrey was sacred no part of audrey could desire or love Duke more than platonically. Duke's a punching bag or a scapegoat for the heroes - writers giving him unresolved trauma and he still bends over backwards because he's so lonely and no one has ever put him first. And that was why he was suicidal no matter what he did people just blamed him and never accepted him and only acknowledged him when he was past breaking point. The ot3 is just Duke SERVICING the main couple and I'm just not here for that.

Duke = Audrey. Audrey was an alien lifeform that doesn't belong in Haven. Duke and Audrey both had destiny's they fought against. Duke lost. Audrey got her lifetime spanning epic Love. Duke got Nada. Audrey/Paige got the happy ever after that Duke was parched for. Lexie was Duke and Nathan did not like her because she reminded him of Duke. Realistically Nathan and Duke work better than Naudrey what do naudrey even have cop x cop omg he can feel her touch lmao anyway nate x duke is batman and catwoman. If Nathan really loved Audrey he'd end up with FBI Audrey. He only wants Mara's body in any capacity it doesn't matter who Audrey comes back as Nathan will always fall in love with her & she's attracted to people who fall in love with her. Colarado is Duke realising that he loves Nathan more than he loves Audrey. Duke went into the Barn because of *Nathan*. Nathan tried to kill him for 3 seasons and asks Duke to die to save Audrey and bro is like yes of course I will save her for you. Duke supports Nathan and Audrey because he knows Nathan will not love him the way that he loves Audrey but he's selfless enough to accept that no one will love him.

People who died in his arms grandfather, wife Evi Ryan, brother and girlfriend Jennifer Mason and so many people died in front of him such as Haylie and her mother Barbara

Named his daughter Jean named his last Girlfriend Jen no creativity at all

Destroyed his beloved restaurant/bar for no reason other than to erase him from Haven

Kept saying Audrey loved him didn't show it. None of maras personalities loved Duke. Whenever you have clones or distinct personalities when you have a love triangle you create a conflict and choice. There was none. It was always how many Mara personality can Nathan meet and how many times will she love him (all of them even Mara would have loved Nathan eventually) sci fi is supposed to push the boundaries this show couldn't even do a proper mara/Duke and even watered down william/Mara because All of Maras personalities belong to Nathan.

Kept saying Nathan hated him and kept showing the opposite. Made the troubles free Nathan have a crush on detective crocker

Duke was suicidal and had self esteem issues so they decided to blame him for everything even though he was just trying his best

Kept insinuating that his family were serial killers when some troubled begged them to end the curse

Nathan tried to kill him over the smallest things

No one knew in a small town what Simon crocker and his wife did to Duke? Excuse me? So Duke was born evil and since he was not troubled no one cared that he was abused and neglected until he was 18? Are you kidding me? Duke getting troubled blood on him = addicted feels like drugs, his mama was an addict.

People until the last episode called him selfish and a dick and only thinks for himself

Characters like McHugh got to have a happy ever after found family but the thirs main character just killed off...?

The only people who really loved him were the McShaws Gloria Verrano and Jennifer Mason

Wife betrayed him and died in front of him Mara betrayed him and made him do what he was afraid of (hurt people)

They kept taking away things that made him special to Nathan but it didn't quite fit - they made Duke a bully in highschool but Nathan bullies him as an adult even getting a tattoo to kill Duke, they make Duke the person everyone blames they tried it with Nathan after he ditches town because the reason for his living Audrey *dies* and then they tried it after Duke leaves town and they put Nate on trial and conveniently they make the accuser a bad guy to make it look like no one had any reason to hate Nate, the guard were supposed to be like a secret society to save troubled but they were just bullies and criminals. I thought nate would have to kill Nate to gain entry to the guard...

Croaton and Vince can magic James The colarado kid alive out of nowhere but Duke gotta stay dead

All Duke wanted was love so they killed all his loves all Duke wanted was family so they gave Nathan a family Mara had a godamn family in her super advanced society

Proof that the writers didn't hate him

Multlingual

In a trouble free world he is a respected and great cop

The McShaws

Unintentional Nathan/Duke

Duke became Mara giving people troubles. Then Duke treated Mara like Nathan treated Duke and Mara and Duke hooked up. If Duke was a woman he and Nathan would have had 3 kids by the end of Haven

The infamous troublephobic reverend

The writers gave us Romeo x Romeo friends to enemies to lovers. Bro Nathan literally LOVED Duke to death. Like if Duke headcanonincally had a kink for Nate's arms choking him during sex... well...

#duke crocker

[shakesposting]

Mod Pinks for lesserfandomappreciation here! Hope you're having a great day dear! I'm absolutely a sucker for North Shaw and Cool Joe so - what are they like on a first date or in a relationship (you choose)?

for you, i did both! sorry this is more than a week late, home life during the holiday break is far from ideal and we’re unsure if we got the flu or omicron. anyway, i’m basing North’s off the comic, where he was a pop singer for an issue

North Shaw

your first date wouldn’t feel like a date, but it’ll be nice. you two at the beach, him teaching you how to surf; if you already know how, he’ll have some randos rate both your surfing as a little one-on. some competition never hurt anybody, and mans will always like it a bit rough like that. he might take you to a skate park or an ice rink if there are any of those nearby

if you’ve known each other long and you’re along the more adventurous side, he’d be totally stoked to take you snowboarding with him, so it’s more a week-long excursion--you pick where to: Whistler Blackcomb, Colorado’s Breckenridge, or Cali’s Lake Tahoe? hang-gliding’s cool too, he’s been to Rio and Kahului

if you want equal footing, he’s up to try new things with you. he’d suggest bungee jumping, it’s on his bucket list. or learning parkour from an instructor

if you aren’t into any of that, he’s game to play you (and with you) at an arcade. you’re probably a little better than he is in the shooter games, and he’ll complain at first about how janky the motorbike/racecar games are, but he’ll best you by miles in them

it’s burgers, fries, or pizza with a movie on to wind down afterwards

it’s not in his list but he’d be open about going to the petting zoo. he’s excitable around his favorite person, and he’d pose like people do with the leaning tower of pizza, but with the boa constrictors and parrots. banter about which shots to have printed is a highlight, and you don’t expect it, but he’s a softie for animals. he chats them up like they’re buddies because they are

dude’s down for a spa date, but not for a first. “i’d literally want to hit a-sap so like. there’s just, no time to get to know you... you know? that’s kinda important”

will give it to you straight as a board, you either hop on or it’s a wipe out

in the relationship, he’s both sir no-biggie and mr. Take-On-Me, which'll confuse you until you remember--he’s intense and hyper-competitive only because he’s an adrenaline junkie (or Liquido’s somehow involved)

“you take this half of the grocery list, this one’s mine. race you to the cashier!”

“yeah? i’ll have these potatoes peeled before you’ve finished those dishes”. his flavor of domestic bliss

it could sap you, but you’ve only to tell him you aren’t feeling it for him to cut it out. it might tug his mood down a notch, but he forgets about it once he sees you relaxed

he’s so chill it’s infuriating sometimes, when you’re pissed and the reason flies over his head, i.e. he can be insensitive

e.g. will playfully gibe at your pace, “slowpoke”, “old tortoise”, after you’ve vented about a long and stressful day of feeling irreparably incompetent, and raise an eyebrow when you raise your voice at him

it may not be his fault, but he’s quick to patch things up after fights. his ego’s massive but it’s nothing he can’t ride down

doesn’t care much for ritzy parties if that’s something you do--inaugurations, the posh premieres, rewards ceremonies, so on--but will come and dress (somewhat) suitably because it’s important to you

he might, just might, it definitely wouldn’t be in the works since he first asked you out--write a song for you. it’s light, with some self-deprecation, and a touch sentimental; and he’s earnest. he means and will stand by every word even if it was something he included to rhyme

Cool Joe

he doesn’t really ask people out. guy gets a lotta action, managing his night club, and some of the finest babes are his regulars. he’s almost got it bad if he wants to see you elsewhere

if there’s a band he likes touring in town, or “near enough”, he’d want to take you, VIP. it’ll be R&B, Funk--think Rick James and Kool and the Gang. for a more contemporary vibing, like Bruno Mars’s Uptown Funk and the better-known half of 24K Magic

he grew up on jukebox musicals like Disco Inferno, Boogie Nights. a screening of something similar? and it’s something you like? he’s versatile, consider him sold

if you haven’t been in his club, you’d go club-hopping, and then his place so it’s all show, no tell, just how much swankier it is

if you aren’t up for a high-energy date, he’d love to bring you to his favorite record store, then fashion avenue. he’s got a fantastic eye for colors, prints, and fabrics; he’ll have you in the sickest threads you’ve ever owned like you’re in a movie and it’s the makeover montage. all on him. after, you’ll hit the karaoke because he’s just begun

you might dine at one of his favorite spots--which would be a resto-bar with live music and balcony views of the glimmering metro

you might think you’re good at concealing your emotions until you date Joe. nothing gets past his Eagle Eyes™--they detect your jaw clenching, if you bite your cheek or lip at one side, your fidgety hands, wiggling toes; he’d catch your upwards gaze, if you’re spaced out, etc.

what he may not catch are the missing emojis, the stiffness, dismissiveness, or general passive-aggressiveness of some messages. you can’t count on him taking a hint, and, conversely, it’s hard to tell if he’s cross or a-ok sometimes. he’s fairly new to messaging like we know it--he was only persuaded to get a smartphone so he could facetime that astronaut who rang him up about Asteroid 237 (Cool Joe and the Comet, season 5), so you know he’s got help managing his social media

if he knows what you’re feeling, it’s no use when he’s at a loss as to how he could address it, or whether he should do anything about it at all. he’ll offer to talk about it, but if you aren’t in the mood to, he’ll bow out until you’re fine. you’ll need to tell him if you want his attention, want him to take care of you, and rest assured he’ll do it

between being on the team, in a band, running his club, he hasn’t a lot of time. you’re a priority, but he doesn’t expect his life would go on hold anytime soon, so you best believe your needs are going to be shuffled with other demands. he may resort to band-aid solutions to make amends, like gift-giving. again, you have to be vocal about what you want

because his life’s in a perpetual whirlwind, he’s impatient and may snap at you for nerves, hesitating, sulking, and the like. but he’ll recognize the mistake and demonstrate his apology soon as he does. verbalization of it doesn’t trail too far behind

is something of a Casanova, minus any serious engagement when in a relationship. he likes the attention, and seeing you jealous thrills him, but he’s careful not to step out of bounds

you’d be his inspiration for any number of songs: a singer-meets-hottie party song, the high life with you song, making love to you and it’s the best thing song, so on, and he’d shout you out at each and every one of his concerts

#supa strikas #north shaw #cool joe #first date #relationship #headcanons #ask #damn it Pinks now i'm simping too

[literate-simp]

Hawks x GN! Pro Hero! Reader

About: his s/o gets injured in battle

Warning(s): slight angst, mentions of blood, curse words.

Note: this is my first time writing on Tumblr so please excuse my grammar mistakes or the lack of 'angst' you were looking for! Most probably would write a part 2 (don't worry, I'll put the link here)

| THIS FEAR OF MINE | PART 1 |

"Babe? Babe, c'mon," He holds your cheeks, a hand supporting your back carefully. His heart was beating out of his chest as the world felt like it was crumbling before him, a nasty blow had donned the pretty skin he loved to touch so much. "Wake up, baby. Wake up."

Love wasn't a decision, it wasn't a choice. Love comes and goes, sometimes it hits too hard for anyone's liking. If we could choose who we loved, life wouldn't have been so painful.

You were a pro hero of Japan, not as popular as your lover -- but just enough to be noticed. Strongwilled, you were. Stopped at nothing to keep people safe. If the world required them to lay their life down for a weeping child, they would've done so without hesitation.

That's what drove him mad. Hawks hated that side of them -- truthfully, he never intended to fall for someone with the same occupation as he did. He knew what the job entailed, so he'd never want to hear news about his lover's encounters with dangerous villains or possible injuries they would have come back with. He hated fearing for his lover's life, he just wanted to go back home to the arms of someone who he could keep safe.

So why did he have to fall in love with you? A strong, brave hero -- an illiterate idiot in a sense when it came to their own wellbeing. Maybe that's why he loved you so much, you reminded Hawks of himself. Even if it was just a tiny bit, every time he saw that gleaming grin of yours, he finds himself smiling as well.

"Hawks, we have to get them to a hospital," a nearby paramedic called, very anxiously. The pro hero had been rocking back and forth with his lover bleeding in his arms.

Had he loved you at first sight? Certainly not, the rivalry between you two were obvious, the both of you were practically the same person; cocky and outspoken. Even Miruko had given up in trying to break the two of you apart during your daily arguments. The second your eyes meet, a tired Endeavor could be heard sighing just a few feet away.

"Baby, please. Please, baby. Just open your eyes," He cooed on repeat, kissing their temple and nuzzling his face in the crook of their neck. They smelled like oranges and metal. "I'll let you go if you just open your damned eyes."

When did he start to like you? Probably when you realized he was having a fever and dragged him back to his own apartment.

Was it?

Or was it the time when you handed him his favourite canned coffee after a rough day at work? Maybe even when he saw you worry for the victims being caught in a crossfire between you and some rando villain.

He never knew when. He just knew he liked you at a certain point in time, which lead to him putting his ego down to ask you out.

"Hawks! The more you're holding on to them, the more they'll bleed!" Miruko grabbed his shoulder, only for him to pull away with a harsh shrug. "They have to go!"

He was afraid. So afraid. What if you pass away the second you reach the hospital? What if this was the last time he'd ever see the serene look on your face? He wanted to soak it in, he was being selfish but for a good cause; his sanity.

He loved you so much and he never even got to say it. What if--

"Hawks."

Endeavour places a hand on his shoulder firmly. He turns around, his golden eyes were tearful and his lips trembling. The No. 1 Hero took note on the tight grip the young bird had on your injured body, the fearful shaken look in his eyes even with the visor still intact.

The relationship was never made public but everyone knew they flirted often. Who wouldn't? The sexual tension was thicker than air, the press was kind enough not to make their relationship an issue, seeing as they both did their job flawlessly.

But it was Endeavour's first time seeing the cocky bird so vulnerable. It wasn't worry he was feeling, maybe confusion.

"I don't want them to die," He whispered. "Please, I can't see them go. I love them so fucking much. They're my baby, I promised them they'll be alright."

"Then keep that promise. If you loved them so much, take them to the hospital," The fiery man spoke. "Let's go. The longer we wait, the longer they'll suffer. Carry them if you must but pro heroes should continue with dignity. Come on, Hawks."

It was silent between the three of them. Alas, the winged Hero got up from his knees with you in his arms and flew straight to the nearest hospital without so much as a word.

Thank you for reading! Planting the link here for when I write the next bit. Have a nice day babes, bruvs and enbies

♡︎ literate-simp

#bnha hawks #hawks #hawks angst #bnha angst #bnha #bnha imagines

[thankskenpenders]

And so that’s it... nearly 200 issues deep, we’re done with the contributions of original writer Michael Gallagher. I’ve been asked in the past about the possibility of writing an article going over Gallagher’s run, like what I did with Penders. And I might still do that. But for now, here’s a shorter postmortem summarizing my feelings on the work of the original writer for history’s longest-running video game comic

I think it’s easy to look back on Gallagher’s silly old stories with a lot of nostalgia, especially after seeing what the series would become in its Dark Age. I can’t blame anyone who feels this way. I feel that way sometimes, too. It was a simpler time, with short, self-contained stories and a ton of puns, and it was a lot more easily digestible than a lot of the teen melodrama and half-baked sci-fi that followed. But the thing is... that doesn’t mean that Gallagher’s writing was good

Gallagher was always an odd fit for Sonic. I can’t really blame the man for introducing lame concepts like Cal and Al that didn’t fit in with Sonic early on because it’s not like he had much to work with in the early days. The guy was expected to write a monthly comic series based on a couple 16-bit platformers with very little story and some snippets from a cartoon that wasn’t out yet. He also had no way of knowing that his work here would lay the foundation for the longest video game comic ever made. I don’t envy his job. Of course he’d do a goofball story where Sonic travels back to caveman times. It’s not like he had much else to do

But as the series progressed and the cartoons and games gave the comic writers more material to work with, Gallagher didn’t really play along. He gave us a few solid, fun stories like Mecha Madness, but for the most part he was off in his own world, trying to sell us on shoehorned characters like the Forty Fathom Freedom Fighters or the Downunda Freedom Fighters who existed almost exclusively to deliver new flavors of lame pun. One time he even worked with Jim Valentino to make a naval-gazing parody of classic Guardians of the Galaxy so they could make lame puns about a comic they used to write (that very few children in 2001 reading Archie Sonic would be familiar with)

People generally pinpoint Penders as the guy who became obsessed with his own pet characters over the main cast as time went on, but really, Gallagher was just as guilty. And honestly, sometimes Gallagher doing it bugged me more. At least Penders had some prominent characters people actually liked, like Elias, Lara-Su, and Julie-Su, as well as some semblance of an overarching plot to work with. Meanwhile Gallagher was over here trying desperately to get people to care about a group of characters he had created exclusively as a vehicle for trite Australia jokes

Gallagher did introduce a few characters who stuck around, but he doesn’t really deserve much of the credit for that. Most notable would probably be Fiona Fox, who would become a major recurring character under later writers... except Gallagher only really invented her robotic doppelganger that Robotnik tricked Tails into falling in love with that one time. He created Knuckles’ grandfather Athair, the one comic character to somehow make it into a cartoon, but Penders helped out with that lore and did more with the character, meaning most people just assume he’s another Penders echidna. He created Tails’ parents, but Karl and Ian were the ones who actually did stuff with them. And he created the Ancient Walkers, who were kind of neat at first but quickly devolved into a tired plot device, only to be killed off by Ian almost immediately to cut down on the deus ex machinas. If you look at the list of characters Gallagher created, it’s mostly just randos he created for the sake of puns

And that’s really what most of it comes down to. Lame puns. I’m totally down for Sonic stories that go for a silly tone. I love Sonic Boom as much as the next fan, and I’ve been having a blast with the extremely goofy Sonic X comics. I’m not a cartoon snob who won’t watch a show that doesn’t have action and drama and lore, I’m out here watching shows like Apple & Onion. But while Gallagher could write good jokes sometimes, he mostly relied on groanworthy newspaper strip-level puns. (I guess it’s fitting, considering he’s related to both the guy who created Heathcliff AND his successor who makes those comics about the Garbage Ape.) I love me a good pun from time to time, and a lot of Gallagher’s are funnier when shared out of context, but when a story is just wall to wall puns it becomes agonizing. Puns should be a spice, not a main ingredient. And when Gallagher got a chance to follow an ACTUAL newspaper comic strip format in the Off Panel, he fared even worse. It was so rare for the Off Panels he wrote to actually be any funny

He WAS genuinely funny at times, though. I’ll give him credit for that. I don’t want it to seem like I hated ALL of his stories. (He did impress me with at least one political joke that’s sadly still relevant today, and in hindsight there’s something really funny on a meta level about the dark and gritty return of Cal and Al.) I think his best work came when he was paired with better artists. Scott Shaw’s more energetic Sonics really helped sell the cartoony comedy in the original miniseries, and obviously Spaziante’s work on Mecha Madness made that story legendary. When he was stuck with the less exciting Manak or Mawhinney, though, not so much

Beyond the puns, there was also this undercurrent of nastiness, meanness, and general grossness in his stories that I don’t see as many fans pick up on. This was mainly evident in the many odd decisions he made with the female cast

We had his take on Sally, who was treated as little more than Sonic’s annoying, moody, bossy girlfriend who bickered with him, sat on a big throne, and occasionally got to be a damsel in distress. He added Bunnie to the cast early on, but it felt like he didn’t have many ideas for what to do with her except make her the butt of jokes about her being a southern belle, including literally making her say “the South shall rise again!” We had Barby Koala’s extremely creepy flirting with Tails, who was half her age. We had that tone deaf Off-Panel joke about turning the special dedicated to the female readers into a swimsuit special (which isn’t far off from what everyone else actually did). And we also had that baffling story where Dulcy killed her mother. I have NO idea what the fuck he thought he was going for with that one.

It wasn’t just the girls, though--Antoine was somehow even more of a punching bag in Gallagher’s early stories than he was on SatAM. At least in the cartoon Sonic was responding to Antoine’s’ massive ego when he poked fun at him. In the early comics, Sonic would constantly rag on Antoine at any opportunity he got. It was VERY distracting in the early issues, and it made his Sonic come off as way more of a jerk

Later writers would often talk about needing to fix certain characters. Penders, for all his countless insufferable faults, used his early stories to steer Sally towards the version of the character fans knew from SatAM. (He then ruined Sally in his own special way, but, you know.) Just about every writer who touched him spent years and years trying to fix Antoine and make readers stop hating him. The unspoken part here is that the original incarnations of these characters that everyone had to work so hard to fix... were Gallagher’s

Again, Gallagher didn’t have an easy job as the first writer on this series, and most of his stories were... fine. Nothing I’d recommend to non-fans, but they had their moments. They make for an amusing read for their sheer absurdity. But a lot of it ranged from not very good to outright bad. We’ll always cut him some slack for having so little to work off of when he started and for writing stories that were, in hindsight, better (or at least less grating) than a lot of the melodramatic schlock that came later. I’ll always have some nostalgia for those simpler times. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that Gallagher’s stuff was ever all that good

But I can’t hate the guy too much, because he gave me the greatest Sonic character of all time

#StH 185 #tkp post

[marzipanandminutiae]

you totally don’t have to do this one if it’s not Your Vibe, but I am dead curious to hear your thoughts on a Crimson Peak modern!au, as much as one is possible

sending you a hug from a rando and courage 🖤

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. MOSTLY WITH THE SAME CHARACTERS IN A DIFFERENT STORY, BUT STILL

Lucille and Thomas are still children of a once-wealthy English family that's steadily burning through its fortune. Their parents' murders are the only ones that ever happen- because after Beatrice's death, they both go to an inpatient mental health facility. They're somewhat older- 16 and 14.

Even if Lucille took sole responsibility- claiming self-defense based on her many, many injuries, but still denying Thomas' involvement -they fortunately ended up in a situation where adults recognized that they both needed help.

In another stroke of luck, their modern "asylum" is actually a decent one, and they slowly, slowly begin to sort themselves out.

Thomas is the one who brings up the incest in therapy. That nearly destroys his relationship with Lucille, who is terrified they'll be kept apart if the truth is known. He's adamant that it was mutually consensual, but he knows she'd never realize it was unhealthy on her own.

They are not separated. They're also not left alone unchaperoned until their release.

As adults, they...manage. With difficulty. They end up selling the house, another blow to Lucille's mental state, though it does become a privately-owned museum. Its preservation is a cold comfort to her as they move from one flat to the next, until Thomas manages to get a job in a studio that makes film props. There, his skills gradually become legendary, and he eventually starts earning a pretty good living at a job that makes him wildly happy.

Lucille- struggles. She takes musical gigs here and there, mostly as a rehearsal pianist for theatre companies or a session musician in recording studios. But everything she wanted in life is completely out of reach, and she doesn't know what else to do. She's also Not Great at dealing with the new boundaries of her relationship with Thomas- she wants to respect them because she'll lose him if she doesn't, but unlike him, she never internalized the idea that what they were doing was wrong. She knows other people think that. She knows he doesn't want it anymore. But she doesn't really feel the issues with it the way he does.

One day, she pushes a little too hard, and Thomas issues an ultimatum with tears in his eyes: do better, or he'll go no-contact.

She moves to New York City the next day.

They stay in touch, but being so close and unable to be with him as they once were was just too much for her. It's easier, with distance, to respect boundaries- texting for an hour every night, phone calls once a week, video-chatting twice a month. And over time, she becomes better about sticking to the rules.

(And actually going to therapy when she's supposed to.)

Things stabilize somewhat- she gets a job with a chamber orchestra and Thomas' career continues to progress. It's not perfect, but it's a life.

...at which point Thomas comes for his yearly visit with his girlfriend, an American grad student named Edith Cushing. An orphan with ambitions to become a novelist, she develops an instant rapport with Lucille. Who, for her part, finds herself undeniably attracted to a woman she expected to hate.

Edith ends up leaving Thomas for his sister. And then, a year later, leaving them both when Lucille finally decides to be honest about why, exactly, they have quite so many boundaries.

Two years after that, Edith and Lucille wake up drunk in the same bed. It begins to become apparent that the way forward might not be as clear-cut as they once thought.

#ask #anon #long post #headcanons #incest mention

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

We had SUCH an awful experience this morning, I’m still upset.

Two evaluators came to see if my son qualifies for services. We really liked the PT we took him to a month ago, but if he qualifies for services he’d get free in-home services, vs. extremely expensive PT we’d have to transport him to. So. You know. 

When we took him to his original PT, she was amazing with him. She let him take time to settle in before trying to touch him at all, and she did 100% of her evaluation by getting him to play in specific ways that would show her how he used the relevant muscles. He cried when we first arrived and she had to take his temperature due to covid protocols, and he was getting a bit fussy at the end of the hour-long eval because he was tired, but otherwise he had a great time and got quite comfortable with her. She was also really good about explaining what she was doing both in layman’s terms to me and more technical for my husband (who had a lot of questions from a professional standpoint).

These ladies were just. Awful. AWFUL. They came into our apartment and just boom, started the eval with basically zero attempt at establishing a rapport with my son other than to say hello to him as they came in. He is a friendly but slow to warm kid who has not had contact with many people in his life because covid. So SHOCKINGLY, when this developmental evaluator stranger lady just barged into his home and started ordering him around he...didn’t really want to cooperate? Weird. Just ~totally inexplicable.~ I mean, if some rando walked into my living room and started telling me to pick up specific toys I wasn’t interested in playing with at that moment and do things like “put the book on your belly” (my son doesn’t even know what a belly, is we call it a tummy, and also why would he put a book on it??) I would totally do it!

So basically he wasn’t cooperating because...why would he...and was instead playing his own games and smiling at her, and she claimed that meant he doesn’t understand words/verbal instructions, only gestures like pointing. I mean, after they left, I was laying down with my son for his nap and he was kicking his leg a bunch and I said, “It’s time to rest now, so you can either lay quietly with Mommy or I’ll have to put you in your crib for nap,” and he stopped kicking, but sure. Later, without pointing or gesturing in any way, I said, “Can you pick up that piece under the table and give it to me?” and he looked under the table, saw the piece, picked it up, and brought it to me, but sure. Sure. He has no verbal comprehension, totally. She also said that he doesn’t understand “no” because he was throwing toys that we allow him to throw and she, a rando stranger who did not try to establish a rapport with him, told him no and he didn’t stop. He knows we let him do this. We were right there, not telling him to stop. Why the heck would he stop for you?

Both of them were also super dismissive and didn’t really listen to me when they asked about any concerns other than walking. I explained to them my theory (I don’t remember if I wrote about it here) that his poop issues stem from the fact that he poops sitting with his butt against the floor so there’s not enough room for the poop to get out, since all my friends that I asked said that their non-potty-trained toddlers poop crouching or standing, neither of which he is so comfortable doing due to his gross motor delays. And they were just like, “no, late walkers don’t have constipation, it’s completely unrelated.” Ok it is demonstrably true that he has trouble pooping in that position because he will be pushing and pushing and nothing happens and then one of us picks him up into a semi-standing position and it comes right out, and it is a rational explanation that the reason he got into the habit of positioning himself that way was that he was not capable of crouching or standing well enough. They also brushed off our concerns that we’ve been having trouble getting him to drink from a cup, saying, “well he needs the liquids, just let him have a bottle,” which we do obviously, but it is developmentally appropriate that a 22-month-old should be able to use a cup of some kind and he can’t?? And you are supposed to be assessing his development?? This is relevant??

But the worst part was that they just. Did not treat him like the actual human being that he is. The PT evaluator, without having established any rapport with him at all, aggressively grabbed him and started manipulating his legs. Which first of all my husband felt that that was an inappropriately rough way to evaluate a toddler based on what he has learned. But beyond that, my son was - UNDERSTANDABLY - screaming and sobbing because this total stranger just grabbed him and started doing uncomfortable stuff to him and he had no idea why, and as soon as she let go he made a beeline for my husband and tried to hide behind his legs while still sobbing. BOTH EVALUATORS FREAKING LAUGHED AT HIM AND CALLED HIM A DRAMA KING. They saw a confused, terrified toddler reacting in a normal, understandable way to a stranger inexplicably manhandling him and laughed at him. They made no attempt whatsoever to say they were sorry it was scary or that it was ok or anything. They just laughed and let him burrow into my lap still sniffling the rest of the eval and kept talking like everything was normal.

This isn’t even all of it. It was just awful and traumatizing and I made a complaint, but I’m afraid of what subsequent staff assigned to us will be like when neither of these “professionals” displayed any understanding of how to interact with the population they work with or any ability to treat their vulnerable clients like human beings.