#blame shift

[traumatizedjaguar]

Abusers will force you into a position to have to defend and explain yourself because they thrive on arguing with others. The best way to stay away from their abuse is to not engage with them...But when it comes to abusers they will automatically assume you're guilty for something if you don't defend yourself and argue, they will assume you're guilty and justify bullying you over it. They put you into a position where it is double edged. Either way, they win so if you defend yourself they get a rise out of you and if you don't defend yourself they assume you're guilty and come after you. Abusers thrive off of twisting and manipulating the meaning of your body language, tone, subtleties, whether you engage or don't engage, or literally anything else.

#my text #abusers always think they're right and never wrong #they thrive off of manipulation #manipulative #manipulation tactics #decetifulness #gaslighting #emotional abuse #psychological abuse #child abuse #family abuse #actually cptsd #actually abused #actually traumatized #actuallyabused #actually traumatised #blameshifting #blame shift

[boioz]

Enox - Blame shift

#Enox #euphoria #blame shift #lyrics #metalcore #nj

[reliabledragon]

To me, the best embodiment of modern capitalism is in the phrase "please hold, we are experiencing higher than usual call volume". I know it's a lie. You know it's a lie. But you still hear that line every time you call, regardless of the day or time, because it shifts the blame. It tries to prompt you to blame the other callers instead of asking, "Hey, why are they deliberately understaffing their call centers and making it so difficult to get help?" It takes a failing caused by a deliberate, profit-focused management choice, and turns it into a problem with the people using the system, rather than one with the system itself. And that pattern, to me, is the epitome of the modern corporate system.

#today in reliabledragon complains about call centers #I know this isn't that deep or anything #but like #this wording is a choice #and this pattern just shows up in so many places #it's infuriating #to see how effectively systems can shift the blame for their failures onto the actions of the people participating in them #anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk #my posts

[disco-troy]

KG Beast had the worst time of his life after he shot Nightwing.

First he got beat up by Batman and abandoned in the snow

Then Nightwing himself beat him up (and told him a pun)

THEN The Batgirls lured him to their turf ON PURPOSE to beat him up

Damian nearly kills him

He gets beat up by a guy at the speed of light

and that's not even counting Kory's reaction!

Entire hired killer career OVER bc he shot one man

#the tone shift is so funny like as more and more people beat this man up it gets easier and easier #bruce has a drawn out fight in the artic #cass and steph just like have a fun time mugging this man in an ally #i realize the tone shifts of the books r to blame but i love the implication that hes just given up at this point hes not winning ever #dick grayson #kgbeast #batman #dc comics #wally west #damian wayne #cass #steph

[mumblesplash]

heartbreaking: this viral post is saying things you completely agree with in the most irritating way possible

#mumbling #goD #thinking about that one cringing = pearl clutching post i saw a while ago #legitimately good points and the only time i’ve ever seen someone point out the linguistic shift #of ‘cringe’ going from verb to adjective and how that takes the blame off of the people DOING the cringing #like yeah! that’s it that’s the thing i’ve been trying to figure out how to say!! #the insidious shift from cringe as an action of the beholder to a property of the beheld is not only worth examining #but demonstrates a seriously important way our brains can be affected over time by language #that was something i didn’t even notice! sure it bothered me but i didn’t know how to express WHY #and i think it’s so cool to see someone finally manage to articulate smth that’s been pissing me off for years #HOWEVER #my god was op’s phrasing annoying the hell out of me for some reason #just written in such a grating writing style i couldn’t bring myself to reblog it even though i really wanted to

[balkanradfem]

religion will be like, it's because women talk to animals and eat fruit that childbirth is so painful, and the soil so hard to work! Not because we took away all of the midwives and created horrendous agriculture practices

#anti religion #blame shifting #victim blaming #radical feminism #anti christianity #anti patriarchy #pro midwife #pro no-dig gardening #anti agriculture

[furiousgoldfish]

When abusers pretend you actually control their actions during the abuse it's almost laughable, you're doing this because of something I did? Really? I control you? I decide what you do? In that case get down on your knees apologize for what you did to me. Cry and beg for forgiveness and spend next 10 years repenting for your crimes. No? You won't? Then maybe I don't control what you do. If I did I know what I would be making you do.

No victim ever controlled what their abuser did to them. If they did, they would have stopped the abuse before it even started. No abuser abuses because of something the victim did. They do it out of their own volition, nobody forces them. The victims have zero responsibility for any act of abuse towards them. No victim deserved it. No victim wanted it. No victim was in control. Abusers take control both of themselves and the victim, then blame the victims for the crimes against them. Do not buy into their lies.

#victim blaming #shifting blame on victims #abusers #psychological abuse #darvo #victim shaming #pretending victims can control abusers

[utilitycaster]

Something I think actual play is uniquely good at showing is, for lack of a better way to put it, narrative choice. You see the story that people decide to play out; you see the threads that people wanted to follow. You also can, if the GM shares their concepts, get an idea of some of the other possible paths not taken and stories not told, but ultimately they are untold. And finally, ironically enough for a medium with a random element, it makes creator intent unavoidably clear.

We see it all the time in Critical Role. There probably was a really fascinating story to be told with Vox Machina working with The Clasp following the fall of Emon. The party chose not to do it; we don't know what would have happened. I like many am intrigued by the Augen Trust path Matt had planned for the Mighty Nein; they didn't take it. We can't judge the story on what might have been, even if we find it interesting; we can only judge it on what was. And we don't follow the Clasp nor the Augen Trust as a result, because it's not where the PCs are; at most we might see the effects their actions taken without the aid of the PCs had on the world when their paths cross again. The camera, in D&D, always follows the PCs. You see what they see.

Essek was redeemed because the Mighty Nein wanted him to be redeemed. In actual play especially there's a weird tendency to switch to the passive voice to describe things one dislikes, but this choice was anything but passive. The party learned Essek had been lying to them and made their choice to remain his friends, and the story continues from that presumption, and while I am the first to reject the "but the cast liked it" argument, the fact is, one can't reject this redemption without rejecting the party's choice, and the party is controlled by the cast.

It's great to discuss paths not taken, and it's even true that you might believe those paths to be a better story. But you cannot rely on the camera - or the audience's interest and sympathy - to abandon the PCs desires and decisions just to suit yours. You can't do this as a GM, as another player, or as a viewer. Nor can you expect people to judge based on potential once it is no longer potential; a strong concept that is never followed doesn't count as the story; at best it counts as the GM or player's creative intent.

Actual Play forces people to take a story for what it is. I think the fandom can be so fraught because many people do not understand quite how it's limited in scope nor what is under GM control and what is not and so they act like choices are inevitable and inevitabilities are choices.

#it is actually REALLY fascinating for essek how the blame shifts from the cast to the fandom or to like. fate. #you did not get the thing you wanted because of cast decisions. you are no longer permitted to use But The Cast Likes It as an argument. #sit with that; it's good for the soul. #critical role

[evermoredeluxe]

peas in a pod

#i’ve never seen travis shift blame ever #he’s always like ‘no its me’ and always talking about being better and holding himself accountable #maybe too accountable #travis kelce #tstk #arshia talks

[chirpsythismorning]

Joyce staying at the cabin with Hopper and El to keep them safe bc no one in Hawkins knows they’re alive. Will, Jonathan and Argyle staying at the Wheeler's bc they have more room and presumably aren't in danger like the others.

OH WAIT there's a witch hunt for the Hellfire club, which means all the boys are in danger from the townspeople. OH WAIT the boy who came back to life has returned from the West, the same boy whose assumed death jumpstarted this small town's curse in the first place! The same boy who apparently everyone and their fathers knew was gay...

THE END IS NEAR! THE GAYS ARE RESPONSIBLE!

+ Time jump early somewhere in between.

Now picture how that would look in an 8 episode story format, leading up to a final battle lasting about 2+ hrs, and that's loosely how s5 is gonna go down.

#byler #enter satanic panic #enter religious imagery #enter small town blaming the apocalypse on two boys falling in love #NO but deadass... #I could see a gradual realization in 5x01 #with them making a plan but then realizing it wont work bc townspeople are hunting down members of hellfire #the whistleblower for the hellfire club in the eyes of the town was jason #and now jason has been found dead #and before he died he told the townspeople that members of hellfire club were protecting eddie... #jason basically signed all of hellfire clubs death certificates #now that citizens are seeing real life impacts as a result of what jason said was caused by these kids playing dnd... #that they're now working for the devil himself #shit is going to get bleak af... #it could get so bleak that something horrible happens instigating a time jump early on #the duffers have said s5 is pretty quick in motion with continuing the events directly after vol 2 #but then they imply that there is a shift after those first two eps... #so i think it's likely we're getting at time jump in time for 5x03 #putting the rest of the season post time jump and preparing for the ultimate final battle #that is my guesstimation at this time

[purpleghoul87]

the new nighttime security guard seems odd

edit: heres part 2 (prequel to this)

#i'm not a decaying corpse pinky promise guys - mike #noone else wants the night shift at the mortuary in hurricane and i cannot blame them #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #my art #michael afton #fnaf art #mike afton #fnaf michael afton #fnaf michael #fnaf ID au #scheduled post

[traumatizedjaguar]

Emotional terrorism

Simply put, emotional terrorism is domestic terrorism that uses human feelings for ammunition. They use emotions as weapons and try to make you go mad.

It can be a friend, a spouse, a partner, a boss, a coworker or anybody.

A bully using emotional terrorism finds comfort in making others uncomfortable; they have a sadistic twist to their personality and enjoy seeing others going off or losing themselves.

They will scream, rage, belittle, argue relentlessly, and put you in positions to look bad and be attacked further.

Manipulation: They will make you doubt yourself, gaslight you which makes you doubt your reality or perception of events, making you feel crazy, delusional, unstable mentally ill like there’s something wrong with you that you don’t know about, or wrong.

Public humiliation: They will publicly humiliate you. They will demean you, belittle you, criticize you, or humiliate you in front of others. It can be in the disguise of humor.

They will continuously blameshift, use verbal aggression and try to provoke fear out of you, terrorize and rage to cause you to become weak, small, frightened, and full of dread. Then use that to blame you or make you out to be the bad guy or abuser while continuously justifying what they like to label as “revenge” against you.

Walking on eggshells: The emotional terrorist will get upset and offended at every little thing, and anything possible you say or do or don’t say or don’t do to try to make you out to be bad or difficult in some way; they will be hypersensitive meaning they get offended at perceived slights that don’t exist, imaginary slights, or act like they were offended and twist and manipulate reasons why they are offended by you in order to justify causing you harm. They seek “revenge” in twisted and distorted ways that doesn’t make sense to majority of people. They use this as leverage to gaslight you into believing things about yourself that isn’t true.

This is a form of “weaponizing feelings” in order to harm you and make you believe you deserve to lay there and take the abuse. They weaponize their feelings in order to make you believe you caused them to abuse you for a reason.

You either notice the abuse and try to stand up for yourself, sometimes becoming defensive. Or you don’t notice it and fall for the gaslighting, repeatedly apologizing to your abuser for your mistakes and wrongs that don’t really exist, wondering why you’re always doing something wrong; you believe you’re broken. Your abuser will keep pushing the idea that “you’re pushing them too far” that you’re “pushing them over the edge and making them react” “making them say things they have to say because you pushed them” this is placing the blame on you for their behaviors. Abusers often claim the idea that “some people deserve abuse” to further gaslight their victims.

#my text #actually traumatized #actually cptsd #actually abused #actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #psychological abuse #emotional abuse #emotional terrorism #domestic terrorism #blame shifting #blame shift #abuse

[pommunist]

i’m seeing so many posts about this and it’s like ??? do you guys even know what an union does ? how it operates ?

why should it be for the community, the ccs, current and ex admins, as well as an actual union (btw this is a MAJOR union in France not a group of amateurs) to have do everything in their power to even try to get a word with anyone at Qstudios ?

Why should it be the people who were affected negatively in this situation, and the organisations helping them to make sure that things get better ? To try to right the wrongs and maybe even save the project ?

Im sorry but either Q himself or someone from his team should keep track on what statements are being released by who etc at almost all times if they’re taking this seriously. The union posted on Twitter, repeatedly, in multiple languages, in posts that gained a lot of traction, with their contact info attached what more do you want ?

I’m begging you all to stop with this mix of capitalism brainrot and babying everything related to Q already

#qsmp #discourse #main tagging this bc u guys are too confortable shifting the blame #should the union grab Q by his hands to make him open his damn dms too like #oh this is neg ? oh this is salty ? obviously it is you should hear urselves #i’m mad mad tonight

[zishuge]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023) | Ep. 19

#mysterious lotus casebook #莲花楼 #li lianhua #fang duobing #cheng yi #zeng shunxi #cdramaedit #mlcedit #*gifs:mine #remember when llh tells fdb “we can't always live up to the expectations of others – maybe li xiangyi never expected so much from you” #first time i saw it i was like TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE! but then i realized that for li xiangyi it wasn't simply “others” #it was “the whole world and everyone he knew including himself”* #because no one's expectations of li xiangyi were ever higher than li xiangyi's #and of course we all know that the second something went wrong most of sigu sect immediately laid the blame at his feet #but fdb is saying that no... everyone's expectations of li xiangyi were bullshit actually #the standards were simply unattainable #li lianhua told fang duobing “maybe li xiangyi never expected so much from you” #and this is fang duobing telling him “maybe li xiangyi should never have expected so much from himself” #and you can see li lianhua's entire worldview shifting just a little to the right (gifs 3+5) #and that soft smile at the end. which of course leads into “to my new friend. my best friend.” lsakjfdsldfkjasldk #it's not enough to change his mind really – it's too little and much too late to drown out a decade of self-loathing and guilt #but i wonder – if fang duobing had been able to be by his side for those ten years #telling him this again and again and again #you weren't perfect. you didn't need to be. you were young. you were trying. you were good. you were so good. #if li lianhua might have been able to heal that terrible rift inside himself #aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #translation notes: it made me chuckle that iqiyi's translation for gif 6 was: “they're just a bunch of selfish posers” very succinct. #also this lighting was so difficult to color ack i never really know what to do with a super green bg #*shifu as the only exception and thus shifu remains forever the best.

[bakubunny]

“little one” is such an underutilized pet name in fics and imma start a soft girl riot if i don’t see it more often.

like maybe it gives too much ddlg vibes for a lot of people?? i know that’s why i rarely write it; it has a very specific (but good) connotation to me, but i’m trying to appeal to a wider range of readers while also writing for myself. BUT

i swear to you

if i heard that from certain pretty anime men in any context i would lose my shit. not naming them bc i see all of u whipping out those drabbles and hcs when i write shitposts and i’m trying not to spontaneously combust today. 🤨

shitpost babes: @dcsiremc @bookcluberror @zazter-den @i-literally-cant-with-this @r4td0lll

#shitpost #bnha hcs #mha hcs #jjk hcs #ffxiv hcs #u can blame this on emet-selch #he was the one who started this bs #then it shifted to anime men and now i’m broken

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents make it so easy to forget what normal is, and have you believe that your absolutely normal child behaviour is actually outrageous. They snap at you for annoying them, with the rage that would be justified if you just stabbed them, and all you actually did was be a child, make noise, ask for attention, ask for care.

It is not outrageous to be a child and to be loud, and noisy, and to ask for care and attention. We're genetically set up to do that, to rely on our caretakers, to ask them for attention and care, and to be loud, to make noise. That's how all children are.

It's also not outrageous to sometimes react emotionally, to get scared, worried, angry, confused, to not know something, to not get things right, to misunderstand, to make a mistake, to do damage while having good intentions. Abusive parents can react to all of these as if you're the worst demon and have committed a mortal sin of annoying them, taking their time and energy to deal with you when they 'have better things to do' and for being inconsiderate selfish brat who doesn't understand they're not a priority.

But you didn't do any of that. You were just a kid. If they didn't want to deal with a kid, they didn't need to have one. You didn't put yourself in front of them on purpose. You weren't outrageous for being normal. Their reaction was outrageous. Their rage, contempt, blame, shaming, telling you that you and your needs don't matter, that's outrageous. You were just a kid. You didn't need to be considerate. You didn't need to be told that your needs don't matter. You didn't need to be shamed or blamed for anything you wanted or needed back then. They were responsible for taking care of that and you came to them and they failed you. They should feel ashamed, not you. Nothing you did was worth hurting you for.

#abusive parents #child abuse #child neglect #blame shifting #domestic abuse #psychological abuse #having fake reactions to convince you to not ask for care #convincing kids they don't deserve care instead of caring for them #gross behaviour #abuser shit