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bloogers-boogers · 1 year

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Kyle Brofloski/Eric Cartman (SP fic) one-shot

/Mad jealousy/

Times Kyle has been pissy jell.

~~~~~

(Kyle's pov)

It's been over two weeks since Cartman had announced being in a 'relationship' with Gordon Stolkie 'Jody' as Cartman's calls him 'lovingly' (who we all thought he was dead, but turns out that his remains were sent out to some lab that specializes in cloning and regeneration type of thing) I personally find it weird but Stan has told me to not think of it too much.

And as bizarre as South Park could be, it's hard to just believe that crap. I mean, it's hard cause there was even a point that ads lived among us, fuck, they're still probably we're.

And the fact that someone like Gordon could immediately want to spend time with Cartman, nonetheless be his boyfriend, is surreal and questionable.

It's not being crazy, it's being logical. That boy seem to be too good to be true. After the incident that lead to his death that boy wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. It's not like I knew him personally but he didn't seem like the type Cartman would be interested in THAT sorta way, Gordon was a 'follower' not an equal.

I can already feel this leading to a Heidi catastrophe all over again.

Not only that, but Cartman isn't dating material either, neither do I believe that crap of finally being able to be 'free' about himself and shit like that, this whole relationship is a facade and I'll make sure to expose it to everyone that I was right and not being some overdramatic 'queermo' as some of his so called friends call me.

Everyone should know better that this is CARTMAN were talking about, ofcourse theres gonna be some scheme behind it.

This past week I've been following Cartman everywhere, everyday, carefully listening to his words, outside conversations or calls. I'm not being a stalker, I'm gathering information, I don't want to slip and mess it up. I'm desperate to find clues of this ploy.

But I figured Cartman would easily catch on as he was really good on acting it all out, he played such a 'good' boyfriend act like if no one in the damn school witnessed his previous relationship with Heidi. Outside peers could see those two and actually fall into the idea of them being in love, two high chool sweetheart in the 'honeymoon phase', Cartman seemingly 'madly in love', as if he even had a heart.

At that moment I found myself cautiously watching both eat their lunch in a whole other table, ever since Cartman announced those two being together he had separated entirely from the group as if being in a relationship didn't give them a right for independence or personal space. Cartman was clinging to him like some unwanted pimple going on googly eyes and lovey-dovey stares, it's sickening.

His codependency on Gordon was sickening.

But the things I had to indulge for and get closer hints on finding some initials of some plot.

I stared intensely hoping Cartman will feel my glare from behind him and actually breakdown all the attempts of ignoring me once in for all, it'll be easier to keep an eye on him if he actually talked to them and hang out.

But he didn't even spare him a single glance, who does this fatass think he is? Acting like he's hot shit, too good to be seen hanging out with the three like if no one knew he'd sing and dance with a Justin Timberlake cutout when he was eight.

Cartman's acting like what he swore never being a 'hopeless romantic Stan' manner, it's ridiculous.

After lunch break I witnessed Cartman kissing Gordon on the cheek while waving off parting ways, I rolled my eyes by their cheesy goodbyes as if they weren't planning on walking back home together after school.

I approached Cartman from behind finally wanting to get over this stupid avoidance.

"Hey, shorty," I peeked behind as he grunted in response by the nickname.

A new nickname I found wa—y more effective in pissing Cartman off than just 'fatass' in middle school. After being the obvious shortest of the group it was easily pointed out from all of them to mock Cartman in some way. Kenny will teasingly use him as a elbow rester, Stan would ask him if he could grab him stuff that had fell to the ground as it'd be easier for him to do it and ofcourse me, I'd call him shorty.

I love how bad it gets him, he gets so easily driven its hilarious. It was inevitable for it to become my most use and favorite nickname.

Red cheeks puffed out and a glaring stare, like a angry squirrel, some cat or a koala. Those are a few animals I could think of, that resemble Cartman.

"Kahal," he answered with skeptical look by my closeness, I moved away and walked beside him in a more suitable distance.

Not that it ever been a problem between the two of them before.

"Finally letting your boy- friend get a break huh?," I asked, still being evasive with the word 'boyfriend' it just felt wrong coming out from my mouth.

"I actually have plans with him after school today," he beamed giggly, walking inside our classroom but I prevented him to do so.

"So now you're just gonna forget you even have friends for some dick? What are you dick-whipped?," I retorted back with a small bit of bitterness.

"Since when does that ever matter to you?," he pointed out, now eying me up and down.

"I don't know? Maybe if you start acting like yourself everyone wouldn't think this is some dumb scheme of yours!"

"No one thinks my relationship is fake, Kyel. You do!," He accused pointedly, "you're not the whole school you dumb ginger!"

"Well jokes on you fatass, your boy- friend IS also ginger. SO what a hypocritical thing to say."

Cartman rolled his eyes unwillingly to find a better comeback.

"Why is it hard for you to actually grasp in the concept of me being gay?," he asked, crossing his arms expectantly.

"Because you can't be gay, shorty," I exclaimed incredulous, "you never been interested in boys before and even if you ' we're ' you being in to Gordon makes zero sense? He's not the type of guy I see you being interested in!"

"And what's the type of guy I'd be interested, kahal? I'm genuinely curious to know what the ginger THINKS I'd like," He asked sarcastic.

I looked away, contemplating a answer for that as I felt Cartman gaze dig through my skin.

"Smart-" I began, now staring at the ceiling before trailing my stare to the floor, "funny?"

Cartman began checking out a imaginary list, "Gordon is both smart and funny, go on Kahal."

I frowned, continuously pointing things out purposely finding other qualities that I believe Gordon doesn't have, "fierce, competitive, someone who'll challenge you, someone who wouldn't get you bored in a month. Someone you could trust and can put you in your place when your shit just goes too far-" without realizing I've began listing things I thought Cartman should have in a partner instead of what he wanted, "caring, comprehensive, not a pushover, someone who knows you in an out, someone that can tell your bullshit miles away, someone you could rely on and have warm heart to heart moments.." I kept trailing off thinking of someone who'd fit perfectly for that place.

"Like you?," he added, tilting his head slightly.

My eyes widen in shock, hearing Cartman say that out loud really made me realize how stupidly I described myself as Cartman's possible 'ideal' partner.

I cursed myself internally.

"T-that's not- don't put words in my mouth, fatass!," I stuttered, finding it difficult to hide my red cheeks and nervous sweat.

"Jealous red bean.." Cartman said in 'awe' making me blush embarrassed, "you're jealous!," he exclaimed louder, bewildered as he pointed at me.

I flinched by the sudden gesture, defensively.

"Fuck you! you're taking things out of context fatass!," I cursed out, swallowing some saliva as a began feeling my throat dry, "why the fuck would I be jealous? And what'd you mean a 'red bean'!?"

"I don't know?-" he shrugged, watching the now empty hallway, "they remind me of your hair," he explained unfazed.

I looked at him confused, red beans do NOT resemble his hair! Do they..? Ofcourse not! That's stupid.

"And well.. don't think I haven't noticed you stalking me like a sneaky creepy jew, kahal," he tentatively said with his arms cross behind him reluctantly placing his index finger on to my chest.

I felt myself boiled, clenching my hands nervously. This motherfucker.

"And so what if I am?," I snapped back, not letting Cartman get the better end.

He looked at me with a small frown and his mouth agape, as he was in shock.

"I- uh.." he began, darting his eyes elsewhere, "wow, Kahal.. haha..," he chuckled nervously looking frantically at the classroom door that had already been shut closed.

We were forced after, to go inside the classroom by the hall monitor. The day proceeded normally and not long after (two days to be in fact) Cartman broke up with Gordon.

~~~~~~~~~

I've been dating this cheerleader girl for almost a month, her name is Bethany Steven's. She often has a thing going on with Bebe as they both argued over their last name being the same, pretty much 'rivals' at that point. I honestly don't mind as long as she leaves me out of it.

She's a cute brunette, ironically has the same eye condition as Cartman's (heterochromia) though her eyes have green and brown instead of Cartman's blue and brown eyes.

Theres just something oddly memorizing to see two different color iris in just one individual, just looking so intensely gorgeous. Captivating...

She's quite thin and has really pale skin, a button nose and naturally red cheeks.

She's an average grade student, she doesn't like sports but she likes gossip and I've noticed she's quite a bully to some girls. Though I'll let all that slide to keep my perfect girlfriend by my side, it's not like any us haven't bully a couple of kids ourselves before.

She's definitely a dream girl for any, if she wasn't a pain in the ass sometimes she'd probably be ideal in my eyes atleast.

She's too clingy, emotional and talks all the damn time. Now I understand Stan's pain when he'd be force to hear out Wendy's troubles. It's ironic how he finds himself in his place; sitting in the roundabout while she ranted about stupid girl nonsense.

Worse of it all, I haven't t been able to see what Cartman's been up to. I've been so up with my girlfriend, last week I even figured out too late that Cartman had said some racist shit on TV and I couldn't but in to shut him up. Everytime I try doing something I end up appearing too late, even Cartman has started to shift further apart from me, seemingly bored. Cartman! Bored of me!? I'm literally his archrival! He's supposed to be obsessed with me. Now he wants nothing to do with me.

"Okay, babe," I tried butting out, "I- kinda forgot I have something to do this evening," I excuse while standing up.

"What? Is it Cartman again? It's always 'cartman this' 'cartman that' what about ME? You never seem to worry about how I feel!," she complained, placing her hands in her hips.

"Dude! I literally just sat here listening you rant for over an hour!," I exclaimed incredulous, baffled by her audacity.

An hour listening to her bitchin' for what? For she to accuse him for 'not' listening, the fuck is her problem!?

"Oh? So is that some punishment now, Kyle!? I'm your girlfriend! Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship," she kept on yapping.

"I agree on that, Beth. But I want some space."

"Oh? So NOW you want some space!?"

"Oh god!," I groaned annoyed, rolling my eyes as far back as I could.

She just couldn't lay it off.

We continue arguing until we split away heading back home. Finally, I went to Cartman's to see what he was scheming already, I knocked at the door and was greeted by his mom.

"Oh hi, Kyle. What a pleasure to see you today," she greeted warmly.

"Is Cartman home?," I asked, looking behind her if I could see him anywhere near the stairs.

"Oh, well I'm afraid my poopsikins isn't home right now." she responded a little apologetic.

"Do you perhaps know where he is?"

"Yes, like I told the other boy who also came looking for Eric, he went to the karaoke competition downtown at CityWonk."

"Other boy?," I blurted out confused.

"Well, that blonde kid with the grey hat, ah.. I don't remember how Eric said his name was, I'm sorry..," She beamed before closing the door.

I dashed off, now intrigued to see what the fatass was up to.

Once arriving, I spotted Cartman and Butters snickering behind stage.

Now the chance, I smiled weirdly excited, "What're you planning on doing, fatass," I remarked bitter.

Cartman flinched surprised, "Kahal..?" he said in disbelief, slightly squinting his eyes as he looked at Butters who in returned just looked awkward.

"What?," I asked.

"Hey, fatboy! You think you can get away from me?," another voice spoke from behind making me turn his way.

It was Douglas (I don't know exactly what his last name was, I just knew he was from our school), he seemed to have loose ropes tied up around his right arm, some dirt on his left cheek and messy up hair, he also panted heavily and his eyes just screamed 'exhausted'.

As if he was struggling to get here.

"The fuck is that?," he gestured me heavily, "other minion of yours?," He asked glaringly, which made me feel offended by the suggestion.

"Fuck off, I'm here to stop Cartman's shit," I snapped back, defensive.

"NO. I'm here to stop Cartman," Douglas repeated, pointing at himself.

I turned to look at Cartman expecting for an explanation, confused by the whole ordeal completely forgotten what I was there for to begin with.

Cartman awkwardly stood there before clearing his throat and pulling slightly his shirt collar.

"Kahal.. this is my new arch nemesis," He reluctantly said, almost murmuring the last part before glancing at Butters.

"You're replacing me?," I asked baffled, glancing at both boys.

"Have," He corrected shamelessly.

Butters cleared his throat before chiming in, "Kyle, Eric needed someone who'd y'know.. have time to actually sabotage his shit, because it's just no fun if there's no one against him and well.. ever since you got your girlfriend you've been lacking just THAT and being a no good pussy stuck up tampon," he said nonchalant, as he looked at Cartman who nodded in agreement with everything the blonde said.

Cartman got bored of me.. Cartman!? Of all people.. how bad has this relationship sucking him up, maybe.. fuck, I've became Stan.

I frowned, "NO ONE-" I pointed accusatory at Cartman's chest making him flinched by the harshness, "can take my place, FATASS," I warned, shoving him aside flipping some random ass switch in the wall for who knows what it's for.

Making all the lights blast out by the power intensity.

Whoops.

~~~~~~~~~

After weeks of sabotaging and planning, finally getting rid of Douglas and getting my place back as Cartman's 'archrival', guess who decided to get back in a relationship with Gordon ball licker Stolkie none other than Eric Cartman, cause that fat fuck was a needing good for nothing whore.

I saw those two eating each other out in the hallway, wanting so badly for the bell to ring and immediately report them to the hall monitor and get them in trouble for their public display.

I hate it so damn fucking much, I don't understand why it didn't bother the others.

I walked passed them glaring at the pale long fingered hands groping on to Cartman's wide hips.

I hissed disgusted, as I enter my classroom and saw Bethany chatting with some of her friends.

I passed by her and kiss her a 'hello' on the cheek before seating down in my seat. Grumbling while I rested my chin in my hand.

The class was unbearably boring as I snapped a couple of pencils in half as the images of Cartman making out with Gordon flood my mind.

In was becoming annoyingly frustrating to see those two together, not after thinking it was gonna be over after their first breakup. But clearly something 'good' must've have kept Cartman on pursuing Gordon again, like some untamed dog, more like a heated one.

Guess he must've learned a lot from his mother, like mother like son huh?

Cartman was all over Gordon the entire week hopefully pleading to get back together, embarrassingly attempting to win his heart again and to be expected, Gordon fell in to his ropes weakly unable to handle Cartman's succubus spell.

Might aswell buy a leash, that asshole was whipped and Cartman was like some goddess to him, a goddess that'll just bat his lashes innocently and could get literally anything from him. Gordon has no clue of Cartman's wicked manipulative powers.

Now using lust and hormones to his advantage, using his body as an anchor to keep him hooked, his mouth as a sealed to keep him shut and his ass a cage to keep him put.

Atleast that's what I managed to conclude.

It was lunch break, and I went to go buy some chips in the vending machine, looking thoroughly my options I was greeted by an annoying fat bitch of mosquito.

"Hey, red bean~" I heard from behind a very, very familiar voice.

"What did you just call me?" I snapped back annoyed, glaringly judging his dumb little necklace that had a 'G' an initial, clearly.

He smirked, "well, it's only fair for me to call you something else, as I'm rarely 'fatass' to you anymore," he smugly answered as he tilted his head to the vending machine.

"That's gay as fuck you know that right?" I said bitterly as I dialed the digits of my selected choice of snack.

"Well— good thing I AM gay as fuck," he shamelessly admitted, now moving forward standing next to him, "unless you want me calling you poodle?" He chuckled mischievously looking at me with the most softest gaze.

I frowned, "fuck off, fatass."

"So— you see the thing is," he looked to his side as he leaned his elbow in the vending machine, preventing me to get my flaming cheetos, "I may have forgotten my money at home and I'm really dying for a drink," he admitted his true intentions of approaching me in a 'innocent' tone.

I scoffed incredulous, "and what? You expect ME to buy you one? Up your ass, asshole," I rolled my eyes, shoving him away as I grabbed my cheetos.

"But KAHAAAL—!" He whined as some spoiled bratty child would do in protest.

"Don't you have a boy- friend you can manipulate on buying you one?" I retorted sterling, defensively protecting my cheetos from some chubby grabbing hands.

Cartman gasped in a fake shock, "MY, Kahal, who knew you'd had it in you?" He chuckled unfazed, looking to the beverages vending machine next to them. Trailing his finger tip through the many options contemplating which he'd want.

He double tapped the glass, now staring at him with a beam.

"I want the cherry dr pepper," he said casually, seemingly not caring that I had clearly stated that I was NOT buying him any soda.

"I'm not buying you shit, fatass," I sneered, gripping on to my cheetos, hearing some small crunches as I do so.

Still not making an effort to just leave. Why can't I leave?

Why is there a invisible force that prevents me from leaving, wanting so badly to be sucked in this small bubble in which if was only he and Cartman.

He batted his eyes in attempt to lure me in into buying his coke, as IF that were to work on me.

Beaming as he were innocent with a mischievous glint in his eyes, swaying from side to side in await for me to actually do it.

I huffed taking out some spare change and putting it inside the coin slot. Just to keep Cartman's annoying mouth shut I dialed the dr pepper cherry soda pin.

Not because I fell for his dumb tactics.

It wasn't my fault Cartman's stupid boy- friend couldn't afford having to pay for his obnoxious racist bigoted boy- friend wants which lead Cartman MY way, to beg me to buy his shit instead.

It's Gordon's fault for getting into a fat selfish greedy piece of shit, and Cartman's for being a complete moron and leaving his money at home. If he even did leave it to begin with, for all I know, he could've be lying just for a free soda.

I sighed annoyed as I watched Cartman walk off and aimed for a hug to Gordon in a 'surprise' manner when he was just getting out of class.

I huffed, Gordon barely seemed to reciprocate the feeling. I attentively notice how a friend of his nudged him from the back as Cartman looked my way. Oblivious mocking me with his victorious free soda in hand, I rolled my eyes but my focus kept on the other two boys.

Huh, I wonder why Gordon would look awkwardly at that so called friend who nudged him and suspiciously gesture him the other path of the hallway.

If there's something I'm good at, it's investigating and getting answers.

I walked the other way, knowing my way on school grounds, cautiously heading the same direction as I assume Gordon went, finally spotting him as he was dragged by his hand to the second floor.

Uh lala~ how suspiciously convenient that Cartman wasn't with him, and possibly was stalled with a white little lie to run off with some dude in a completely different area far away from Cartman or possible classmates. Wouldn't even be surprised if they decide to enter a isolated empty classroom.

And for my misfortune, more like Cartman's, they did in fact enter a room, not just a room but the janitors closet.

My my! What a shocker, I wouldn't have expected that!

Who could've assumed two friends would randomly ran off and hide themselves in a empty room to do absolutely nothing to be worried of and get any negative consequences.

I leaned my ear on the door, and hearry hearry for my 'surprise' I heard smooching nosing and hard ruffling.

I took out my phone and pressed record, might aswell have proof to expose a cheater and shove it into Cartman's dumb grinning face. Stumbling down his high in a pedestal 'magnificent' boy- friend to the ground.

I recorded a bit of the suggestive noises from the outside before kicking the door open revealing two distress boys being caught in the act.

Gordon shrieked as he tried buckling his pants and the other buttoned frantically his shirt.

I smirked smugly, before turning off my camera and heading out without saying a thing.

"Wait!" I heard Gordon shout from behind me, I ignored him, uninterested in his pathetic excuses.

"Look—! Uh.. Kyle right?" He continuously followed me, nervously saying shit out, "what you saw.. it was like totally nothing and-"

I rolled my eyes by the stupidity of his words, walking down stairs to the first floor, heading straight to the cafeteria with a nonchalant expression. And the purpose to show Cartman the class of boy- friend he actually had.

"Please, Kyle! I love Eric! He means everything to me-"

I cut him off with a humorous laugh, "you called that love? MY GOD!" I wiped some tears, as I kept laughing by how ridiculous it all sounded.

He clenched his fist against his chest, determined on keeping his act up, and acting like a caring boy- friend, "Kyle, I get that Eric's your friend and you care for his well-being," he place himself infront of me blocking my way.

I rolled my eyes to that, but I left him continued for my own entertainment. Nothing is gonna stop me by showing Cartman that footage.

"But, you need to see the bigger picture here. Think about how Eric is gonna feel once- uh.. it's gonna destroy him!" He said in a 'I'm gaslighting you' kinda way.

Oh? So that's how he's gonna play.

Jokes on him, I want Cartman to break.

I want him to be destroyed.

I looked at the other 'culprit', the mistress, the home wrecker pass by in a rush avoiding ashamed both their gazes as he left outta sight.

"Mhmm," I said bored, shoving him to the side continuously walking.

"Kyle, I'll give you anything-! I have money! Please, just don't tell Eric! It'll break his heart!"

I halted, now turning his way still with a blank expression, "Okay, give me fifty bucks," I extended my hand.

He jolted, before looking through his pockets nervously his wallet and grabbing some bills.

I actually received the money before shoving it in my pockets, "Okay, cool. I'm still telling Cartman though." I said casually before dashing off.

'WHAT!?' It's what I heard behind as I went in the cafeteria.

I looked among students and spotted Cartman chatting with Butters, Kenny and Stan at a table near the end.

"Where the hell where you man?" Stan asked looking at me, now four turned my way.

"Probably jackin off," Cartman mockingly remarked with a snicker as both blondes snickered aswell sharing the same brain cell.

I frowned, feeling my blood boiling already.

"Anyways— like I was saying. Gordon's taking me out for dinner tonight. He's so— romantic and dreamy~" Cartman in a girly blabbering way continued talking 'wonders' of his boy- friend.

"Dude, I've been dealing with this all day," Stan mustered out in a 'help me' pleading way gesturing Cartman's obnoxious ranting.

"Actually-" I spoke before being interrupted by a rushed Gordon hugging tightly by the shoulders a now startled Cartman.

"Hey babe, guest the kid I was tutoring bailed on me," he shamelessly lied, kissing his cheeks as he eyed me cautiously.

I frowned, "I was about to say-"

"So, BABY," Gordon blurted out grabbing Cartman's attention once more, he seemed unsure who to look at, "we should go to the field, maybe even hid behind some benches and-" he whispered some obvious suggestive things, before glaring at me.

"Actually, Cartman you shouldn't," I began, as I took out my phone and Cartman looked my way oddly. I dodge Gordon's attempt to snatch it from me but failed, obviously.

"You see‐"

"Don't believe him, Eric! It's all bullshit!," he blurted out a little too loudly making a couple of other students turn his way.

Cartman looked my way expectantly, giving small glances to the now crowd of eyes latching to them before looking uncertain with the whole thing.

Why is Cartman looking at me that way?

Don't look at me with those sad pleading eyes, fatass!

You're supposed to be angry, annoyed maybe even bitter by making you wait this much. Not look like you're actually suspecting what I'm about to say.

Like if you're aware I'm about to call your boy- friend off as a scumbag cheater loser in front of the whole school.

I screeched frustrated, grumbling while gritting my teeth as I shoved my phone back in my pocket and walk off.

I didn't care if I got caught skipping class or get detention, I didn't want to be there. I went outside near the flag pole and leaned myself against it. Frowning in thought, zoning out in my own world. I heard steps behind me but I didn't bother to turn back.

"Kyle, thanks," I heard Gordon stupid voice, I winced with cringe, "look, I promise it was just a slip up, I knew you'd understand-"

I clenched my fists, looking at the ground furiously, I felt my eyes water by the burning feeling they emitted.

Is this what actual humiliation was? Cause that's exactly what I was feeling right there.

Humiliation.

I tsk, now turning his way, "I'm doing this for Eric, not you, don't get your shit twisted," I spat sneering, glaring intensely at those diarrhea looking green eyes.

I stepped closer, a couple of inches apart from his face, "let me get things straight," I harshly poked my finger in his chest various times, "I see you upping your way with some other guy I'll kill you, I'll literally kill you, cut you in to bits and trow you down the sewers," I warned, "and second, I don't want you going all pda infront of me because I'll puke my shit out and tell Cartman everything," I finalized coldly, crossing my arms.

I heard Gordon gulped, as he eyed me up and down in a bewildered expression. I could even see a slight blush in his face and how for a couple of seconds his eyes landed on my lips.

I walked backwards, further apart from him.

Gross.

~~~~~~~~

"Okay, babe. Let's lessen the braids now," I pleaded my girlfriend to stop.

Bethany was once again using me as a test dummy, apparently she wanted to get in to the beauty industry. So she signed up for a make-up class, at first she attempted on making me put some make up but I quickly demolished any attempts.

Noticing how her seductive tactics never worked on me.

She eventually gave in with the only thing I was willing to do for her, which was my hair. And now, I'm kinda regretting that too.

My hair was long, above my shoulders, it was heavy and messy. I personally didn't like it, it was inconvenient and it bothered me.

But man, Bethany loved it.

The day ceased and I was contemplating my red curls through the mirror reflection. Gently caressing a strain, and slowly raising my other hand that gripped on to a pair of scissors.

I smiled softly, before cutting that same strain of hair I held, cutting a couple other chunks before looking myself at the mirror again.

Now turning on the hair raiser on the side, trimming down the sides and then chomping some from top.

Fuck yes, some freedom. Some weight off my shoulders.

°°°°

"You motherfucker!" Bethany screamed at me while I looked blankly at her direction, "I can't believe you cut your damn hair off!"

"I had a haircut what's the big deal?" I excuse, I personally loved how'd it looked.

I wasn't bald, but my sides where shave down enough to pop the top of my now short curls; it was a simple undercut.

I looked great, and I felt great.

"You know damn well what you did!" She cried out, getting the attention from some of her friends before joining them with a loud huff.

I shrugged rolling my eyes, not really caring.

And my eyes, wondered to Cartman, lately I haven't been able to get my eye off of him.

Maybe it was guilt?

The guilty feeling of keeping a lie, that his unfaithful boy- friend shamelessly stood next to him probably saying sweet nothings in his ear while having his arms wrapped around him.

I despised Cartman but I couldn't help but feel pity for him.

So painfully oblivious it was becoming suffocating to handle. My gut twisted in screeching protest seeing him be kissed by Gordon or talk using disgustingly caramelized pet names, hugged or grabbed.

Everything Gordon did to Cartman disgusted me to no end, it boiled and mixed up my insides. I hated it, I fucking hated it.

I glared at Gordon as he glance at my direction, smugly watching me as if I we're staring at him.

Please, oh God how fucking stupid is he?

I walked to class deciding to ignore them, I knew why Gordon kept glancing at me.

The past two weeks he's been shamelessly flirting with me, so maybe that adds also to my stress.

As if me keeping quiet of his infidelity was some dirty invitation to pursue me instead, no shame, no care. Insensitive piece of shit. Maybe he was a ideal partner for Cartman after all? They were similar in different ways.

But fuck that, Cartman doesn't cheat. Atleast, not that anyone would be willingly cheat with him to begin with, I wonder if Cartman were to do that if he were given the opportunity to do so? But so far I haven't seen nothing remotely criminalizing he'd be interested cheating on Gordon.

Ofcourse it grosses me out, and it makes me cringe when he attempts to make a move on me, expecting me to fall and swoon for him. As if.

I really, really want to tell Cartman.

Get this all over with, but the more I looked his way the more in love I see him. Scribbling initials in class like a hopeless romantic, sighing dramatically as he'd rant about how 'great' Gordon was 24/7, there were times he'd hummed while we waited in the lunch line murmuring 'Jody~' and Stan annoyingly rolling his eyes as if he didn't do the exact shit with Wendy.

As much as I would like to see that dumb smile fall, there was another part of me that said otherwise.

My heart shrieked tirelessly as if it were working out blood with actual effort, like if one of these days it was planning on failing up on him and die right on spot.

He sighed as he dialed a pin for a snicker bar in the vending machine.

"Hey, hot stuff."

What a nice way to take all my appetite away in one swift of sentence.

"Fuck off," I spat dryly, heading to p.e class.

"C'mon Kyle, I see how you look at me."

I scoffed incredulous, "You're delusional," I shaked my head in disapproval, grabbing my snicker before walking away.

"Babe, please. Stop acting all hard to get," he placed a hand on my shoulder.

I slapped it away, "don't ever call me babe. I'll beat you up right here right now if you dare call me that again," I threatened, blood boiling hot. My body trembled by the intense hatred I had for him, I loathe every inch of that douche.

"Hey broship," I heard behind me, I flinched looking his way, "and— the love of my life..?" He asked confused looking at Gordon, wincing his features and his button nose crinkled.

"I was just asking your friend about some math problem, I heard he was a+ student on the subject so I figured I'd ask, hon," there was no doubt in my mind that Gordon was a natural pathological liar.

"O—kay..." he reluctantly said, "Jody, baby, can you give me a moment with Kahal please?" He said, not really expecting a answer it was definitely more like an order than a question.

Gordon nodded as he walked away not before winking at me behind Cartman's back.

I wanted to punch his fucking face.

"What you want, shorty?" I spat bored, more like controlling my none ending battling anger, opening the wrapper with fake disinterest and munch a bite off the chocolate.

Cartman huffed crossing his arms, reluctantly contemplating something before letting his arms go to his side defeated.

"I was actually about to show you something me and Butters were working on," he said eying my chocolate and with out asking yanked a piece from it.

I felt my cheeks heat up as I saw him eat it. I didn't even bothered protesting.

It's not like Cartman has ever stolen some food from me before, but at that moment my heart pang.

His lips were memorizing as they moved.

"Kahal?"

"Huh?" I snapped back, a little dumbfounded.

Looking now at his stargazing eyes. They we're so glossy and sparkly he couldn't tell if he was crying minutes prior or just added some eye drops on. He tended to do that often as he always complained of the dryness and stingy of his eyes.

"I said—" he continued rambling about something but I zoned out immediately.

My god.

As if lightning strike me like a truck, like all the moments they had flooded my mind that instant.

In bliss seconds everthing was revealed to me.

I'm crushing on Cartman.

My eyes widen as I felt my mouth drop, my heart pounded rapidly by the overwhelming new coming feelings.

No, I'm in love with with Cartman.

I dashed out of there ignoring a offended fatass who cussed profanities at me, by that point I was long gone school grounds heading to stark pound, there's was no way I'll let officer Barbready catch me ditching but I also didn't want to be in school.

I sat in a near by bench, plopping myself defeated with my hands covering my face.

I dragged my nails deeply pressed against my cheeks trailing down the sides. Feeling flaming marks form, as I screeched out loud in disbelief.

~~~~~~

So far I've managed to get my thoughts to not betray me. I ignored any sign that told me otherwise to look at Cartman far from just being my arch rival.

Keeping my mind occupied with school and hanging out with Stan in the farm trying my best to distance myself from Cartman but not be so bluntly obvious either. Or then the fat motherfucker would catch on and look in to it.

There was no other way, but to keep my focus on Beth and continuously turning any pursuing attempts Gordon's has done twoards me.

Fucking asshole.

Last friday he snucked in the boys locker room while P.E had ended and caught me off guard with just a towel on my waist, he was naked purposely trying to seduce me.

Ofcourse that didn't work, but the boldness left me baffled. I should definitely report him for sexual harassment that fuck is wrong with that dude?

The vivid images of his dick disgust me, it was so fucking traumatizing.

Ew.

It really made me questioned if I've ever felt any attraction towards men, his dick being exposed didn't turn me on or even seemed remotely arousing. It was far the opposite.

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, my eyes squinted in cringe. It was foolish, he seemed like a clown that did a embarrassing trick that'll make you desire to be eaten by a hungry hyena rather than hear and witness their shit.

Besides, I've never been interested in a dude before noneless check them out. And I've seen many dicks before, while being expose to those type of things since children, seeing my friends change and take showers at the boys locker room. Nothing too captivating or mind shocking.

So how the hell did my mind get to the conclusion I was in to—

No.

I shocked my head fanatically, stopping at the bus stop. Feeling the weather change abruptly as it became windy, feeling his cheeks freezing.

I sighed letting out some cold steam, looking to my side a chubby brunette approach, grumbling while stumbling side by side stomping the snowy path with boredom.

His cheeks were red and puffed up, as he sunk his face in the yellow scarf he had around his neck breathing harshly as he took in the cold.

"Red bean," he mustered out while shaking off some snow from his sneakers.

"Maybe if you actually listen to me for once, you wouldn't be struggling to walk pass snow," I stated, while I gesture his sneakers with a slight kick on the top side.

He groaned, "I'm not gonna wear gay ass boots, kahaaaal" he blurted out, rolling his eyes, huffing while gritting his teeth frantically. The cold was getting to him, even under all that fat he always took it was worse than I did.

"Well I hope you sink with all that weight then," I bitterly said, while taking out my phone attempting to end the conversation already.

I heard Cartman grumbled out a 'brrrr' while rubbing his gloved hands and exhaling some air out in a huff in attempts to warm himself up.

I hated how my heart squirmed weakened, wanting badly to help.

I sighed annoyed, puffing my cheeks as I felt myself reddened in anger.

I place myself infront of Cartman making him blink in surprise.

Placing my also gloved hands on his face, gripping tightly to those rounded cheeks of his, ignoring Cartman's obvious dumbfounded stare.

I gritted my teeth attempting to not curse myself out for how pathetically ridiculous I looked and embracing myself in a hug.

My god. It felt nice, even felling Cartman flinched in surprise and hesitantly wrapped his arms around me.

"Something hit you on the head or something, jew?" He chuckled out nervously. I could tell by how he stuttered out some words.

Feeling him burying his face against my chest made me scream internally how off putting this all is.

I hesitantly loosen out from the grip and let go, Cartman stupidly held his arms out still dumbfounded by the whole thing. I must say, I really held it in me to not smile by that.

"Next time use a thicker sweater, shorty," I coughed out awkwardly, placing myself back in my spot.

"U-huh.." he mustered, mouth still hanging loose and a blank expression adorned his face

Atleast he looked less frozen.

He shook his head fanatically, "hold up, I forgot!" He exclaimed now searching in his pockets and grabbed his phone.

With a tooth eating grin he shoved his phone infront of my face.

"What the hell is this, fatass?" I frowned, reading the article.

"Hahaha it's what me and Butters been working on. I told you we had planned on vengeance for what Mr Martbutt did to us" he place his hands in hips, proudly.

I regretted ever hugging that motherfucker.

"That's fuck up, turd face" I snarled, angrily. Seeing Cartman beam by that, knowingly

Even though Mr Martin was a dick for taking our lunch break that one time, no one deserved being publicly shamed for... 'parental negligence of his child and secretly having an affair with a high school student (Bradley Thomason, a senior) he reread the title. Okay, maybe he did deserve it, but, it could be a blant lie coming from Cartman.

"Dude, don't be a dick"

"You don't believe me? Ask Bradley he was expelled a week ago," he howled in laughter as if we're actually funny.

I didn't find it funny. If that boy was actually manipulated in to being with an old ass fifty year old man, people should feel pity for how his chances on getting into a good school are now numbered. Probably his hopes and dreams were now crushed.

That, or he was fucking Mr Martin for a good grade in algebra.

I rolled my eyes, "just don't get me involved in your shit, fatass."

He chimed delightful as he typed in his phone.

Finally I saw both Kenny and Stan walk to the bus stop, about time. Being alone with Cartman can be too much.

°°°°°

Munching on my sandwich carelessly, Butters approached the table seating excitedly as if he was about to blurt out something.

'I wonder what could that be' I thought sarcastically while rolling my eyes annoyed.

Cartman wasn't at the cafeteria which was odd, cause today was cheesy fries tuesday, but I didn't see him at all in sight.

I wished upon ever ounce in my body that he was caught for the article and somewhat got in trouble for it.

"Did you guys hear?" Butters asked putting in a straw in his milk.

Kenny looked his way, "about Mr Martin being a perv? Long old news, dude," he shrugged disinterested.

"No, about Eric."

My eyes darted his way, 'was I right after all?'.

I looked smugly as I bit by water bottle holding in a 'ha' before biting my lip still listening to Butters.

"Well, turns out his going stargazing with Gordon tonight," he said casually.

Okay, that wasn't exactly what I expected to hear.

"That's gay," Ironically Craig commented.

"Yeah, that's what Eric said too," he nodded agreeing, "but that's not all, supposedly he's gonna have sex with him tonight, he's gonna finally become a man!" He cheered out proudly, clasping his hand together.

Everyone there gasped, with me being the exception. My mouth fell in disbelief and my brows knitted together in concerned.

"It's about fucking time that fat fuck loses his v-card," Kenny stated shaking his head disappointed, "I've been telling him since he first got with Gordon to get it over it and stop blabbering about wondering how it felt taking up some dick instead of being a pussy about it and mustering the courage to do it."

"Aw dude, yuck," Stan winced out dramatically, brutal images of Cartman in fours probably appearing in his mind.

Kenny snickered knowingly causing some of the other guys to wince mortified.

"I can't believe Cartman is gonna lose his virginity before I have," Clyde said in disbelief, slapping his forehead seemingly not believing it, "does it count if it's with a dude?" He tried saving himself, but Craig just shrugged in response.

Everyone there atleast once had sex with the exception of Clyde and Scott.

I was kinda pressured on doing it with Beth, now being in high-school it was pathetic to be labeled a virgin, it wasn't magical or remotely special, and it was definitely not my proudest moment. But Stan and Tolkien insisted that it was just necessary for manhood, or some shit like that.

Butters was dared to do it with a hooker as he also had pass the expiring limit, and Kenny, well its Kenny. Who knows when it was his first time.

Stan obviously did it with Wendy in the beginning of middle-school, which was such a shocker for all of us at that time, it was his biggest accomplishment yet apparently.

The fact that both he a Kenny out of the four were already non-virgins just pin pressure on both me and Cartman. We argued sometimes on who'd be a virgin last but at the end Cartman ended up losing eventually, once he heard from Clyde that I slept with Bethany at a movie date we had some saturday night.

In all honesty, I was feeling a little uncertain now knowing that Cartman would lose it with someone who's been unfaithful to him from the start.

Clearly Cartman could've done it by now, but he hasn't. Cartman was bigoted but we all knew how emotionally deranged he was.

When it came to sensitive topics like that, he'd act out like he didn't care but we all saw through his bullshit. He did care, a little too much to be in fact.

He was an emotional brat. And Butters has sometimes exposed him from being one big cry baby. Not that we didn't know by now.

And by what Kenny said, it may seem Cartman wasn't feeling ready for it until now..

He's probably the type that waits for the right person and right place imagining it happening like some rom-com. And by my own experience, I would've preferred it being with the right person aswell and not pin pressured on doing so like I did.

If I could change how my first time would've been, I would've waited.

But I couldn't, but..

Now looking at both blondes snickering seemingly arranging something, knitted my brows in contemplation.

I could prevent a friend by making a choice he'll regret later.

Theres no way I could let Cartman do it with a unfaithful piece of shit like Gordon Stolkie, he'll probably go into a killing spree if he finds out how the 'man of his dreams' was just a facade and he wasted his precious time and lost something with value for him because he was blindly in love with a douche.

Even if that meant Cartman would be pissed knowing I hid it from him.

I couldn't let Gordon Stolkie fuck Eric Cartman.

°°°°°

I looked attentively through the hallways acting as if I wasn't desperately trying to find shorty.

I opened a couple of classrooms receiving a couple of odd stares from some students.

Where was Cartman?

I looked everywhere but nowhere to be seen, I accidentally bumped in to someone as I was looking at some of Bethany's friends.

I looked infront and Gordon smirked as he gripped my arms.

"What a a nice way to greet someone, Brofloski," He grinned widely.

I frowned, shoving him off, "where's Cartman?" I asked reluctantly, still glaring at him.

"Hmm.." He contemplated in thought, before smiling deviously, "I'll tell you if you let me kiss you on that pale neck of yours," I winced just by the thought.

I slammed him harshly against the drinking fountain making him flinch in surprise with a small 'yelp' coming out from his mouth. I felt some of the students gather up probably looking for something to gossip about.

"I'm not fooling around, asswipe. Where's fatass?" I sneered, giving him another shove making him wince as his ass was already getting soaked by sitting on a moist water bin.

"Alright, geez," he surrender freaking out as he glance at a couple of students in the crowd of watchers, keeping carefully his hands far apart from my chest, "He ditch school for something, he didn't tell me what, man."

"You didn't even bother asking where?" I asked incredulous.

"Uh, no..?"

I scoffed as I shoved him once more, letting go as I wiped my hands from any Gordon germs in my jeans.

"Cartman's a maniac if you didn't know that by now, you should know he's always up to something," I sneered, finally storming off.

I pushed some students aside that were in my way, finally walking out the entrance.

I took out my phone and called him like five times, the six being the charm.

"What you want," He harshly spoke on the other line, "I'm busy, jew."

"Yeah, where the fuck are you?" I spat, not wanting to waste any more time.

"What you mean, that's none of your business," he said in protest, I rolled my eyes.

"Where. Are. You," I said tentatively, "I need to speak with you. It's important," I reluctantly admitted, kicking some snow.

There was a brief silence, but I heard a bunch of ruffling and people in the background as if he were in a public place.

"I'm at Jessica's dresser," he admitted, "DON'T you dare say anything," he lastly say before hanging up.

Jessica's dresser was a clothing store at almost the near end of the town, mostly targeted for girls but they did have a small section for men.

Cartman is such a gaywad.

I called a Uber, and was there in like 25 minutes.

I went inside, looking through the sections. And spotted him in an instant.

He was seemingly caressing some fabric blue shirt, having in arm a pile of clothing.

"Shorty," I spoke, making him turned my way.

"If it isn't the jew," he said nonchalant, continuously eyeing some shirts in the hangers, "this is like the fifth time this month I've seen you ditch school. You're becoming quite a rebal."

I rolled my eyes by his obvious snarky remark.

"What're you doing here?" I asked firstly, arching a brow by how he looked at himself in the mirror with a shirt placed in front of him. Seeing how'd it look on him.

"Should I take this blue one or the pink one?" He asked dodging my question, gesturing a blue shirt with two white stripes and a salmon pink shirt with a small nike logo place on the left side near the armpit.

I shrugged, confusingly, "I don't know, either look okay?"

He rolled his eyes, "I knew jews didn't know anything about fashion," he commented before tossing carelessly the blue on the racket as he beamed looking at himself with the pink one, "pink is definitely my color."

I inhale deeply saving myself by remarking anything, grabbing the blue shirt and putting it back in its hanger.

"Cartman, I may have heard about something in school.." I started eyeing the rackets instead of him, looking through some clothes a little lost.

"Hmm??" He hummed, as he slid on that same pink shirt on top of the white one he was wearing, "I look amazing," he mumbled, not paying me much mind.

I frowned now glaring at him, "do you have plans tonight?"

He side eyed me, "let me guess, Butters already told you guys?"

My eyes widen, once again, Cartman was one step ahead of me. Goddammit.

"So it true.."

"Yeah, I'm excited," He clutch to his shirt, "do you think he'll like it? Or should I go more casual?" He said gesturing a set of clothes he had already matched.

It was a green shirt and some khaki shorts.

"Cartman-" but Cartman again, ignored me looking under some of the pair of pants he picked.

He placed infront of me some lingerie, my eyes widen as I felt my cheeks bloom reddened, as I glance away a couple of times, my mouth hanging.

"You think I should go full whore, cute 'I'm under your possession' or classy slut?" He kept on asking questions not really expecting a answer from me, as he kept rummaging his selection.

"Cartman!" I finally made him snapped in my direction, a pink bunny lingerie in hand.

I slowly looked down at the set before placing my gaze right back up.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to go sleep with Gordon."

"Why? Ofcourse you'd say that," He groaned annoyed, defensively throwing the lingerie in a chair. "It's so— easy for you to say that, you already slept with your bitch girlfriend and now that you see that I'm also gonna take a hit you want to drag me down from experiencing it myself don't you, kahal!"

"That isn't true, fatass. Shut the fuck up," I reluctantly looked at my side as a employee pass by eyeing us suspiciously.

He placed his hands on his hips, "Gordon is my boyfriend I don't see why that's an issue now," he hissed out loud, cheeks heating up.

"It's not- Cartman It's not about who you do it with. It's about GORDON, you shouldn't do it with him, that's what I'm trying to tell you," I softly explain, trying my best to not make him lose it inside the store.

"Why NOT?" he sneered, leaning his body forward, glaringly.

I bit my lip, maybe telling Cartman that Gordon is a pervert cheating douchbag in the store wasn't a good idea.

"Cartman, just trust me on this," I sit myself down in one of the waiting chairs, looking up at Cartman.

He still kept his defensive posture.

"Fuck you, dude. I'm getting layyed tonight and that's final," he spat out bitterly, huffing before picking up the clothes he choose.

Walking now to the register, I stood up and followed him grumbling profanities as I looked down at the back of Cartman's shoes.

"Hello, what can I help you with today?" The cashier, seemingly our age, greeted beaming.

"Just this," Cartman said with the opposite enthusiasm, placing his clothing in the register as the blonde boy a tag with the name 'Tyler' plastered, began scanning them.

He slightly eyed Cartman then at myself, I arched a brow.

Was he questioning the lingerie? Or did he think we were some couple. Either way, I felt embarrassed avoiding my gaze and looking elsewhere.

"Are you two like.. together?" he heard the cashier asked Cartman, I looked up now attentive.

It was obvious what he was inquiring, after all, you don't see two dudes casually walking out with lingerie on a daily average.

Cartman winced, "what? Noo!?" He blurted out a little too exaggerated, making this look even more suspicious to the eye.

"Friend then?" He chuckled, as he continuously scanned the clothing, "are you into dudes?"

"Excuse me, do I look gay to you?" Cartman huffed offended.

"Kinda," the blonde admitted with a smirk.

Cartman crossed his arms as he looked my way then at the blonde.

I saw Cartman smirk, as he leaned against the counter, "maybe— interested?" He taunted raising his brows in a playful manner.

Tyler seemed to not be faze by that, more like pleased.

Oh.

That fucker was actually flirting with him, Cartman's so stupid he's probably no expecting for he to retort his way with the same attitude back.

And I was right, cause fatass jolted in surprise when Tyler actually admitted that he was, in fact, interested.

"Yeah, I am," he admitted boldly, smiling lightly as he introduced a code in the computer, "don't meet many cute guys like you around."

I looked at Cartman and he was red as a tomato, glancing my way 'discreetly' as he was more embarrassed of the fact that I was there.

He cleared his throat, "i- I actually have a boyfriend," he mumbled out now looking at the door.

Tyler huffed playful, "I knew you two were something," He chuckled as he finally finished scanning the items.

I kept eyeing Cartman's reactions, it was more entertaining than being considered as his boyfriend. It was funny to see how Cartman would shrug it off as if it didn't affect him in the slightest when his facials said otherwise.

When he'd flip the cashier off saying 'as if' then finally walking out of the store.

Cartman was hella flustered, he looked cute.

Fuck.

He looked cute.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, walking beside him as I heard him complained about the audacity of people and their stupid assumptions and shit like that.

My mind filled with images of Cartman wearing that pink stupid shirt and khaki shorts trying to impress me. I inhale deeply, exhaling loudly not caring if Cartman heard me.

"Okay, jew. Why are you still following me," I finally snapped back looking at Cartman, "like, I already told you I'm still gonna fuck Jody, nothing is gonna change my mind," he kept on going.

I tsk, I know damn well how stubborn Cartman can be when he truly wants something.

I sighed taking out my phone, might aswell do it now.

I grabbed Cartman's arm as I dragged him near a fountain, Cartman cursing him out while he was being dragged.

"Look, shorty. You know that as much as we're rivals and hate each other," I began, gesturing Cartman to sit down, which he reluctantly did as he now looked at me attentively, "at the end of it all we've been through alot together, we've been there even in the worse scenarios and by this point being 'something' isn't just nameless. We're friends and‐," I gulped, grasping some air, feeling Cartman's intense gaze on me," I care, like, I really do, fatass. I'm not fucking around here, I'm being serious," I looked his way and I could see some fondness in his features, those damn eyes digged holes inside my heart.

"Cartman, this.. this is gonna be hard to say but, it's the right thing to do and- I just hate seeing you blindly oblivious to it," I extended my phone to him, "you should see this. It's been going on for awhile."

~~~~~~~~

I was expecting Cartman to snap, probably plot something against Gordon or cuss me out for keeping it a secret for that long but the only thing I received was a blank expression as he gave my phone back and left, leaving his purchases in the fountain.

He still goes to school but his motionless expression kept the same. Blankly staring at nothing while in class, lunch and p.e class.

For what Kenny has told us, he mopped in his room all day once back home; layyed down carelessly in his bed doing nothing but watch the side of his wall.

It reminded him of Stan during his first breakup, even Stan admitted he could actually resonate with Cartman and to just give him time.

But in all honesty, no one knew why they broke up with the exception of me and I kinda suspect Butters too, but point be told, they didn't know.

They only knew that Gordon was throwing me shade for 'ruining' their relationship telling Cartman the truth. But nothing was specified or even confirmed by me or Gordon.

I sighed entering Cartman's home alongside Stan and Kenny. We went upstairs to the familiar bedroom. Looking at the sad lump displayed infront of us.

"C'mon, Eric. Don't worry I'll find you some better dick," Kenny spoke, trying his best to cheer him up.

They all suspected Cartman may had been bummed out for not being able to get a hit before getting dumped, but that was far from the real reasons.

Stan believed that Cartman may had said something or done something stupid enough to piss Gordon off making the breakup inevitable.

While Kenny strongly believed it was because Gordon didn't want to take a hit with Cartman.

After seeing Cartman mopped around these past day's finally actually seeing him being this pathetic over some douche really pissed me off.

"C'mon, fatass. They're other dudes out there," I spat angrily, tired of his downer attitude, "you're not like this, you've never let anything pinned you down like some complete emo bitch."

Cartman huffed, after days of not hearing his voice, it felt kinda surreal.

"You're the one to say," It was raspy, and I could already hear the bitterness in it, "you butt fucking traitor, you're an hypocrite asshole," he scoffed as he placed a hand on his forehead.

I felt Stan and Kenny eye me but kept themselves silent.

"Look, Cartman. I know you're upset, but it isn't a big of deal. People break up here and there all the time you'll find another match-"

"¡FUCK YOU, KYLE!," he screeched out loud, sitting down as he now glared at me. He was fuming and his eyes were glossy red, not the glossy eyes I'm use to.

Cartman's always so confident and unfazed by many things, mostly while confronting me. But this is by far the first time I've ever seen him be this wrecked, so.. emotionally driven. It really seemed like this actually got him to break down all the layers I've been wanting to see after years of failed attempts.

His humanity, his heart, the vulnerability in his eyes as they water holding down some tears from coming out. Genuinely being in pain.

Some douchbag had actually got him to break with such ease.

"We'll leave you two alone to sort things out," Stan spoke before gesturing Kenny to follow.

Both awkwardly left closing the door behind them.

I went to check that they weren't actually eavesdropping and I looked at Cartman.

"Cartman, if I didn't tell you it's because I was worried for your own sake," I admitted now more freely, just being the two of us.

He laughed, "wow— it really seemed like it," he sneered, giving him cold stare, "did you like seeing me act stupid? Were you enjoying seeing me pathetically fall in some assholes lies? Is that it? Are you into seeing me suffer or being humiliated!?"

"No I don't, Cartman," I bluntly said, unfazed by his assumptions, he's deflecting I know he's hurt so it's obvious he'll try to cover it up by spiteful comments, "at that time I really did want to tell you, but there was this other side that didn't. Cartman you really had this huge view on someone, an image you couldn't just stop contemplating as perfect. And there's nothing wrong on viewing your partner as the most perfect being of your universe.

That's how love is supposed to be, loving your partner unconditionally and still viewing their flaws in a whole, perfect.

But how your view on Gordon made it blankly obvious you'd fall disappointed knowing the truth of it all.

No relationship is perfect Cartman, there's no such thing as the perfect man out there. And I know Gordon may had seem like the perfect dude that had it 'all' but he's just one outta the bunch.

And for your dismay, he's one of the few douches you'll encounter during your lifespan.

That doesn't mean it's over for you, Eric," I looked throughly into Cartman's eyes, he now looked more relaxed, but his eyes still glitter in sadness.

"Eric I was scared to hurt you, sometimes it's like you view the world differently it makes it harder for you to grasp in reality," I saw how he clutch his side while looking downwards taking in my words, "I felt you wouldn't understand me and pinned the blame on me somehow just to dismiss the idea of Gordon ever doing that to you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I kept it from you, and I'm also sorry I still managed to hurt you in a way, that you have to experience being cheated on and still lied to.

I really just wanted to be a good friend that didn't want to see you get hurt by the betrayal, but I think I just worsen it," I sucked in some air as I felt my eyes sting.

Finally being able to take it all out, my heart beating slowly as I felt myself sinking with each word.

"I love you, Eric," He looked my way baffled, mouth agape, "I love you just as much as I hate you.

You're one of my best friends, it's hard not to care." I waited for a response, as he kept quiet for a whole minute before moving to the side of the bed, facing me.

"Kahal... that's— pretty gay," he smiled lightly in his usual manner.

I smiled back not helping myself on holding back some laughter, lounging myself on to Cartman in a big warm hug.

I felt him digged his nails in my jacket, as he gripped tightly his face once more, buried in my chest.

And in a blink of an eye, I pushed him down gently now laying in the comfortable matress while I layyed on top of him my head resting in his shoulders. Letting myself embrace the warmth given by him, feeling his legs wrapped around my waist as we still didn't let go.

His hands slid down lightly in my back, and rubbed in circles while I felt our breathing synchronize, and his heart beat against my hand that rested on his chest.

I kissed him in seconds, he kissed back just as desperately. Feeling a long going flame burst even stronger, my crotch rubbed against his making it spread further.

In desperate attempts to take off his clothing, then mine and feel our skin touch.

The ongoing heat spreading inside our bodies, the bedsheets filled with sweat, tears and other ongoing pleasures. The creaking noises the bed resonated while moaning echoed the room.

I was Eric's first.

~~~~~~~

As expected, I broke up with Bethany.

I couldn't bare being in a relationship that I knew would not head anywhere, besides that, I was also a terrible boyfriend. And, well the cheating part too.

Too worsen it all, I now have an annoying clingy bitch taking the place she had previously had won, and ofcourse Cartman overshadowed anyone that could possibly become a interest of mine so he easily took the empty place in matter of seconds. He also can't leave me alone after the incident, he's unbearable.

I needed to sort things out before I have a talk with Cartman about what happened, but meanwhile I dismissively avoided bringing up the subject. It didn't seemed he mind, he was content that I still talked to him and let him get a little bit more touchy than he'd usually be.

It's not like Cartman isn't known to be a person who respected personal space anyways. And it's not like I mind either.

But having Cartman be so clingy to me doesn't let me concentrate on my thoughts and feelings.

I also tried avoiding any attempts of kissing or hugs, that'll just make me lose it and forget the small percentage left of my sanity.

Having sex with Cartman was exactly how I imagined my first time being; it was awkward, new, fitting but it felt right, being with a person I desired so vividly. Practically learning how to keep up with the pace and learning how to properly positioned ourselves.

Cartman stealing some of his mom's lube in attempts of making it any better (cause Kenny told him it was necessary for butt fucking), and technically in a way, it was my first time aswell?

I've never been with a dude before, so in that sense it was my first, and none only with Cartman an un-experienced hormonal teen, not that I wasn't one myself but I had done sex before. So I already knew what was I getting into, Cartman on the other side reacted with each touch, kiss and nibble, and a hot as that was I couldn't just jump on him and devour ever inch of his body. It felt like I needed to make it special for him, appealing. Just like I thought he'd picture it being.

And that just made me do things with cautious, technically 'awkward'.

The feeling on the other side was immaculate, his gestures and moaning were luring me into depths I didn't know I could get in to. Every sloppy kiss he'd give me blurred my mind and each touch burned.

Making me want more, enjoying the feeling of his hands going all over my back having him dumbly suck on my neck leaving just small red marks that vanished quickly as a rash.

Scratching my back hard as he digged his nails in me while I licked the back of his ear dragging my tongue to his neck.

Yeah, all that was immaculate. Nothing could compare to the feeling of having Eric Cartman under me, being under my full possession letting himself be felt by my untamed hunger and heat, submitting to me like if he had always wanted to be pinned down by my grotesque grip and take it up the ass, thrusting furiously back and forth leaving him breathless, kissing him lovingly in his neck and cheeks, someone he claimed hatred twoards, someone he'd tormented for years because he 'loathed' him. His archrival.

Kyle Brofloski.

Yeah, I fucked him. I fucked that piece of shit, and I loved it. I loved ever second of it.

#south park #eric cartman #kyle brovlofski #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #kyman #sp kyman #sp one-shot #bitter sweet ending?#i actually wanting for it to end with Kyle calling himself Cartman's 'boyfriend' as that was the only way #he could accept slipping the word boyfriend in the same sentence with Cartman #it's only fitting when it's him being call Cartman's SO not someone else #but yeah #i like how it ended in like and open ending type of way and- i kinda felt like i was dragging it a bit much #i love the concept of jealousy haha

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