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diaryoftheunidropout · 1 year

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DAY 52

This update is actually about day 51, since it's currently just a little over midnight.

I really need to get today off my chest in all its details because there is no one I can/want to tell about it. So this blog seems my best option. Just so it's a day that's recorded somewhere.

I spent the entire day with a friend of mine who doesn't live in Paris but comes here often. She is someone who has suffered and still suffers a lot, but she is truly one of the kindest and sweetest souls I know and I absolutely love her. We met up at around 10AM, so I woke up at 9AM feeling REALLY SHIT because I've been gettinbg very intense and almost constant vertigo from the brutal absence of antidepressants these past days, small side effects from the vaccine (feeling feverish, shortness of breath when making efforts), and a small cold due to the rapid switches in temperatures. All of this combined, taking into account the fact that I barely slept and not even well, gives... a very miserable me lol. Except I'd promised my friend I'd be there with her and there was no chance I was going to let her down.

So I started my day very tired and dizzy, knowing I was probably going to get home 14 hours later, although that meant being with someone I love, which I can only be very greatful for!

The cool things we did today are going to some sort of tiny... market? Like just people selling their stuff, and I found a cheap card game and those tablets you can use to draw (also very cheap). We also found some dolls we were looking for! We ate nice things at a restaurant, sat down for quite a while at Place d'Italie and laughed. My friend also went to get touch ups on her tattoo with an artist I'd seen before and she was honestly ever nicer than the first time we saw her (if that's even possible), the studio was actually inside her home and she let us play the music we wanted and we chatted about one of her tattoos (which I immediately recognized as being from one of my fav tattoo artists) and it was really cool!

So lots of good things you see. However, I feel the bad ones kind of dominated. This morning I get a text from my mom saying she cancelled her plans for the day (going to the movies and eating out). And then at some point early in the afternoon I get a message from her again saying she ended up getting out of bed because she'd met a guy on a dating app who had lost his wife to lung cancer around the same time as my mom and I lost my dad to lung cancer, and that he had a daughted living in London (thinking of it now, I want to see his daughter because life, what if she's my soulmate and we get married and shit okay sorry I'm totally insane). The point is it really hurt me to see that the only thing getting her out of bed was not the love my dad and I bear to her, all the fighting my dad's done and all the fighting I have done too, but just some random man she's never met and is just soooooo excited to meet and it's like the highlight of her day. It just hurts because I've been so incredibly sensitive about my dad lately like just writing the word dad could get me crying somehow.

Other bad thing that happened might seem shocking because why the hell would I consider this a bad moment, but at the restaurant with my friend I just started laughing hysterically over... I'm not quite sure what? I don't even remember? And it happened again later when we were sitting down in a park while watching some old memes I'd saved somewhere. But when I say hysterical laughter I don't mean like "hahaha I can't stop laughing this is funny", I mean like "I am laughing incredibly loudly and have zero control over my body right now and I am laughing so hard I am choking and actually very much in pain". Now that I think of it, it really felt like those couple of moments in my life I was so full of anger that I felt "out of my body" and just couldn't control anything anymore, except with laughter. I find it quite terrifying.

Then we saw a play that was possibly the best play I've seen in my entire life and it moved me so much I actually cried, but I still had to refrain from crying too much or too loudly in order not to have everyone mad at me or ruin my makeup, so it was just one more moment today having to keep my shit together. Also I had to get up like 10 times before the play started because people kept wanting to get to their seats, and then back to the toilet, and then back to their seats, and then they realized they had the wrong seat, and so on. Very annoying if you want my opinion. The play was still excellent though.

Then I realized I got a message from my ex landlady telling me that she hadn't replied to me earlier although she legally HAD to send me documents by a certain date, because she was busy with [blah blah insert personal life details I literally do not give a single fuck about] and she'd sent me a second email which is basically just some shitty screenshot that ""proves"" how much money I gave her so she would leave me the fuck alone except it proves absolutely nothing and does not confirm she will NEVER ask me for money ever again although she's already stolen thousands and thousands from me that my parents struggled to put aside and it got me so hysterical I became, well, hysterical in front of my friend, and then played it cool and acted like I wasn't going insane.

Then my friend and I sat down near the Eiffel Tower and we got a dozen illegal sellers in the span of 30 mins asking us over and over again if we wanted to buy their stuff, I even got a guy lying down next to me and telling me I was pretty and that I was in love with me although my friend and I kept asking him to kindly leave us alone, and then I got a guy selling roses shaking a rose right into my face while I was comfortable lying down watching the Eiffel Tower, and I just wonder, why the hell are people, especially men it seems, like this?!

And then I received a message from one of my mom's Internet friends whom she got into an argument with and blocked. Did not read the whole message but it was very overdramatic and all like "Adieu dear I shall never talk to you again" and I think that's literally SO fucking shitty of him to go and try to guiltrip a 18 year old girl into telling her mom to talk to him again, like I have my fucking mental struggles and enough shit to deal with, can't you just grow the fuck up (you're almost 50 years old) and leave me alone and deal with your own shit on your own instead of sending a lowkey cry of help to ME?

I again would love to insist on how tired, dizzy, feverish, mentally unstable, and just overall sick, I feel. Or I should say I AM.

All of this is real. I am not a lying. I am not a lier. I do not lie. I wish I could tell someone. I wish someone would listen. My uni best friend asked me how I was and I remained very vague. None of my other friends want to hear about my state. My mother is too fragile for me to tell her all of this without destroying her. My grandparents won't understand or won't be able to do much to help except perhaps guiltripping my mom into telling her she's not doing enough. My therapist listens and she's kind but she's very passive because of course this is my life but spending €50 for 45 minutes of me just saying "well I feel kind of bad" and her saying "okay" is literally so pointless, like why isn't she just giving me some words of affirmation?! She might not realize it but simply saying "I know your pain is real" would be fucking REVOLUTIONARY and instead all she tells me is "okay :)" and "oops, we're done with this session, it's time :)"... when I have made it clear that all I need is someone to say they believe me when I say I'm in pain. And she can't even tell me those words. Maybe because just like the others, she doesn't. Or she just doesn't understand my needs. Or both. I don't know. And let's not talk about doctors and psychiatrists who simply tell me I look "just fine" or refuse to listen to me when I say I have episodes that are NOT depressive episodes.

Right now I feel like I'm going through both (hypo)mania and depression. I am so incredibly sad and tired and I just want to rest in bed because I physically cannot keep up, and another part of me is motivated to try her very best to show excitement and joy and also believes in great things. Like two days ago I spent an hour staring at myself in a mirror and interviewing myself like I was a published author. And then today, as I said, I bought one of those tablets to draw because I'm like, secretly convinced I'll become a great tattoo artist, or the next great YA author with famous graphic novels, or I don't know.

I think as soon as my makeup is off I might bawl. I just want to sleep. Please let me rest.

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hannah-and-the-jets · 3 years

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I have been reflecting on the fact that cursed child was terrible, so, with that, I have taken it upon myself to rewrite it lol. Here’s a little snippet of the beginning and I hope to start posting on AO3 soon!

Before the Daily Prophet was delivered that morning, Harry knew that it was going to be a bad day. Sometimes he thought Ron was not joking when he called Harry a Seer, as there were times that he just knew it was going to be a terrible day.

If his tea was delivered by his assistant, Ms. Biggs, and it was cold, Harry knew that he would be swamped with paperwork. If there was too much milk, Auror Richards would be stopping him at least twice that day. Not enough sugar meant he would be in the tabloids again. And if his partner stopped and picked up breakfast, well, then he would be expecting a new one soon.

However, Harry felt it deep in his gut that morning when he woke up, Ginny draped over his chest still and loose limbed. His heart was racing from a lingering nightmare; his skin felt too tight over his muscles and the back of his neck was drenched in sweat. The nightmare was not a new one. Harry would find himself back at Hogwarts, wandering the sewer pipes under the school. The sound of scales sliding against the stone walls, the whispers from the basilisk calling out to him, and his own childish screams rang through his ears. The creature never caught up to him, but Harry would wander the familiar pipes searching for Ginny. In all of the years that the same nightmare plagued him, he never found her.

But waking up to her leg thrown over his hips, her hair tickling his face, and her breath against his neck was usually enough to ground him back to reality. That morning it wasn’t enough. The fear and panic clawed at his chest and lungs, begging to be released. Harry did not move a muscle out of fear of waking Ginny. The small puffs of air escaping from her mouth indicated that she did not wake when Harry jolted to a start, and Harry was thankful as he turned his head to look at the clock on his nightstand.

Harry had to squint to make out the numbers 4:53am glaring at him in bright red from the small alarm clock. He sighed and wondered if he could even fall back asleep for the next thirty minutes before the alarm would sound. With a shaking breath, the fear still lingered deep in him. A piercing cry came from the baby monitor on the dresser across from the bed. Harry could feel the moment Ginny woke, as she tensed for just a second above him.

“I’ll get him,” Harry whispered into her hair, “Go back to sleep.”

“Thank you,” Ginny murmured, not quite awake but not quite asleep. Al’s wails bounced around the room as they untangled themselves from one another. Harry found his glasses on the nightstand, and his pajama pants on the floor where he had left them only hours beforehand. With a flick of his hand, the baby monitor went silent, and Harry slipped out of the bedroom.

In the hallway, Harry could hear Al from the room on the right, but went left first to the third bedroom of the house. Harry carefully opened the door, and panic in his chest quieted for a second as he watched his first born, James, snoring lightly. His wild hair that matched Harry’s was thrown in every direction on the pillow, and his covers had been completely discarded to the floor at some point in the night. At three years old, James Sirius Potter was a little terror, and slept like one too. Harry grinned fondly at the sight as James let out a shockingly loud snort for a three year old; however, Al then let out a particularly loud cry. Harry closed the door, and made his way down to the almost toddler’s room.

At one years old, Al slept most nights pretty comfortably, but lately he had been waking them up again. Harry made his way into the bedroom, where Albus sat in bed, wailing while holding his plush dragon. “Oh, buddy,” Harry grabbed him and held him close, “What’s going on?”

Al just blubbered his response and dug his face into Harry’s shirt. His little fist had a death grip on his dragon, as Harry moved them to sit in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. The chair faced the window that led to the view of the street below them. They lived in a town near the Burrow. It was easy to be connected to the Weasley’s for if they needed help, or just wanted someone else nearby.

Harry had sold Grimmauld Place back to Narcissa Malfoy two years after the war. He had cleared out Sirius’ stuff with Ginny one Saturday afternoon, and it was the last time he had set foot in the house. Then there was the apartment he shared with Ron for Auror training, then Ron had moved out to live with Hermione after he dropped out. Then came this home, and it was truly a home. Bright yellow exterior paint, a big backyard, rooms for the children, and a large kitchen as the heart of the home. They could not have raised the kids in Grimmauld, no matter how much Harry missed it.

With the panic in his chest starting to subsided, Harry focused his attention on Al completely. He patted his bottom to see if he was wet, rested his hand on his head to see if he was too hot, but it came down simply because he just wanted to be comforted. Harry kissed his jet black curls and murmured to him slowly, “It’s okay, Buddy. Did you have a bad dream? I got you. It’s okay now.”

They stayed in that position, slowly rocking, until the sun started to peak over the houses across the street. Albus had fallen back asleep at some point, but Harry couldn’t. He felt it. It was going to be a bad day, but he would enjoy this moment rocking his youngest child back to sleep.

The morning preparations went by in a blur. Eventually, Ginny came to take Albus down to breakfast while Harry got ready to go to work. He got ready quickly and efficiently, the same way that he had since he had completed his training seven years beforehand. He paused only briefly to kiss the boys and Ginny goodbye before leaving. The tightness of his skin never went away.

When he had arrived at the Ministry, it seemed to be a normal day. Witches and wizards buzzed all around him, finding their way to their offices and cubicles. Harry navigated his way with ease, and rode the elevator down to the Auror floor. Like every morning, he was greeted by various members before he reached his office. While not Head Auror, yet, he was a Senior Auror, and it meant a shared office with a partner and an assistant to support. However, his last partner, Auror Eickles, had brought two cups of coffee with him last week, and was still in Saint Mungos as of this morning.

Ms Briggs sat behind her desk, happily clicking away at the keys on her computer. She was an older woman who insisted on wearing a muggle skirt suit set everyday in bright colors. Her lipstick was always a bold pink, and every gray curl of hair was never out of place. Ms Briggs enjoyed her work, Harry thought. At least she was always happy to see him.

“Good morning, Auror Potter,” She said without looking up, “I’ll bring a cuppa and the Prophet in just a second. All messages are on your desk, and Auror Richards has requested a meeting at 9am.”

“I have that meeting with the Bulgarian Senior Aurors at 8. Tell Richards to reschedule.”

“No can do,” Ms. Briggs looked up from her computer screen as Harry passed, “He gave your meeting to Auror Spencer. He said it’s urgent, and Kinglsey is also supposed to be there.”

There was that feeling, that bad feeling. After the war had ended, Harry tried to live his life without assumptions; however, an urgently scheduled meeting with the Head Auror and Minister of Magic was never a way to start the day. Harry nodded to Ms. Biggs, and made his way to his empty office.

Half of the room housed Harry’s things. Pictures of family and friends, random nicknacks, and lots of paperwork. The whole thing was in disarray, at least Hermione thought so when she would stop by, but Harry just thought it was organized chaos. The other half of the room just sat empty. Auror Eickles had unpacked his stuff when he was assigned to be Harry’s partner, but his wife had come by to collect the few items that he had in the room. Harry thought about maybe sending a letter today, seeing how she’s doing.

Harry was catching himself up on memos and notes from the weekend, when Ms. Briggs entered the room. She set his tea and the Daily Prophet on the corner of his desk, with a disapproving click of her tongue.

“It’s bad enough what those families did to us, but now they want to come crawling back begging for work.” She shook her head as she read the top headline. Harry thought she didn't even know she was speaking out loud, “I bet they dried out all their little trust funds and family vaults.”

Harry snatched the paper as she left the room. They had a longstanding thing were Harry would insist that the Prophet was garbage, but Ms. Briggs still brought it anyway.

Ministry Approves Purebloods With Deatheater Ties May Work In Government Again! How This Affects You. Harry gravitated towards the corresponding picture. There were three individuals, two men and one woman. The men were young, possibly fresh out of Hogwarts, but the woman is what made Harry stop completely. She was not as tall as the others, and was a slender build. Her features were dark, with strong eyebrows, intense eyes, and a perfectly cut nose. Her hair was pulled into a bun so tight that it made Harry’s head hurt. But there, on his morning newspaper, was Astoria Malfoy signing her Auror training papers.

#harry potter #harry potter and the cursed child #cursed child #cursed child rewrite #astoria malfoy #the malfoys #draco malfoy #ginny weasley #hermione granger #ron weasley #i am so excited #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #albus potter #scorpius hyperion #unbeta'd #unbeta

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faerielleart · 4 years

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Hange’s death hurt so much because she was feeling guilty the whole time she was a commander... she willingly sacrificed her life even when she was so terrified and had wanted to live with levi... both commanders couldn’t make their wishes come true. erwin wanted to get to the basement and hange wanted to live with levi... and in that panel where she is falling you can see a little smile that makes you cry your eyes out... ahhh she was a ray of sunshine

anon stop it’s like 9am here i cant be crying my eyes out in the morning like this 😭😭😭😭

yep i agree wholeheartedly; i believe hanji is obectively the most positive and pure-hearted out of all the characters, a literal sunshine baby and it hurt my heart for 4 years to see her go from an enthusiastic scientist to a crestfallen commander who wants to honor her comrade’s deaths and doesn’t see herself as adequate for the job. she had it EXTREMELY hard, one thing is dealing with titans as your enemies, one thing is dealing with humans as your enemies. she was SO brave until the very end, she stuck to her principles, she blamed herself for EVERYTHING which absolutely destroys my heart,,,,,, sad hours open

this is why it gets me so freaking angry when people say she wasn’t a good commander like?????? for example thanks to her weapons, ALL the titans out of the walls were exterminated, she held meetings for 4 years and made deals with hizuru and the marleyan soldiers like she actually got people on paradis’ side???? she did so much?????? idk fam sometimes i think people read a different manga than i do lmao i get that there can be different interpretations of things but come on, we should all be objective in some ways 💀 and all the hate she’s received from Certain People™ really aint it

ANYWAY on a more positive note because god knows i have screamed enough about her death, hanji is a legend my #1 fav character and we should all bow down to her she deserved better and i will die on this hill and TBH i have jumped on the “hanji is alive” train so we’ll see hehe we still have to see her shard!! and that gives me SO much hope!! 100% convinced that chapter 132 won’t be the last time we see hanjo fight me

while we wait to see the next chapters lets console ourselves with the spin offs especially chuugakkou where levihan are [basically] happily married and hanji is at her Babiest™ COME ON LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE BALL OF FLUFF LOOK JU ST LO O K

But yeah i do have to say, on a more serious note, i really DONT like how her death was handled. like, at all. i just feel like it was extremely rushed, i dont really want to say pointless but?? it just seems really cruel to discover this flying titan thing literally the next chapter after she died, it seems like a joke idk just really unnecessarily cruel to my poor heart lol putting my bias aside, from a narrative point of view i dont feel like her character arc was over which is what dissatisfies me the most about this whole situation. i disagree with a lot of things and i dont know if i want to express all my feelings because that might spark some debate and i really dont want to deal with that 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ i have been in the fandom since 2013 and i’ve had my fair share of discussions over the years and i have tons of experiences with how some people in this fandom, err, take things a bit too personally and yeah not in the mood on this account chief 👁👄👁

#i have so many feelings about all this #maybe i will write a more serious post #but im saving my energies for the next chapters #i am really hoping that the theories will become true #they make so much sense #call me delusional i dont even care sjfhdjcjxm

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tsc-living · 4 years

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KitTy in Lockdown

I am back and better than ever (probably not lol) and even though my posting schedule is non-existent I haven’t forgotten about you guys or the blog, and I do want to write when I have the time. I hope you love the fic, and I hope you guys leave me all the nicest comments and give me all the reblogs :’)

Also like, idk it probs deserves a PG warning so heed that and only read if you can deal with the allusion of sex and swearing. K thanks xx

Kit hadn’t seen Ty in a very long time but meeting him again at a bar of all places, in the middle of London, had felt like coming home. The sight of his old best friend had been enchanting and mesmerising, and even though he was slightly drunk, he couldn’t have stopped himself saying hello.

How they ended up tangled in his sheets in his small London apartment escapes him, even now that he is awake and watching Ty sleep. Ty sleeps perfectly still apart from his slow, rhythmic breathing, and he is so tall that his toes stick out the end of Kit’s blue and black blanket. Kit slowly lifts the top of the blanket and peers down, just to confirm his suspicion that they were both naked, and that his memories of the night before weren’t blurred. Well fuck me sideways I slept with Tiberius Blackthorn. Ty stirred and stretched, a long lock of black hair falling into his mouth and pushed it away sleepily, opening his eyes slowly. They stared up at Kit and he frowned, which Kit supposed was a fair response to waking up in a strange bed next to the boy you were friends with as a teenager.

“Good morning,” Kit said, raising his eyebrows. Ty did what Kit had done moments before and lifted the blanket to peer down at their bodies, only to lower the blanket and sigh dramatically.

“I wasn’t just dreaming then,” Ty said, and Kit smirked, his tummy alighting with fuzzies.

“Do you often dream about fucking me?” Kit asked. Ty scrunched his nose up and shook his head.

“You don’t need to be so vulgar,” Ty told him, and Kit felt suitably reprimanded.

“You didn’t answer the question though,” he pointed out. Ty ignored him, slipping from the bed gracefully and reaching to the floor to pick up a pair of black trousers while Kit admired the muscles rippling under his skin.

“I’m going home,” Ty said, “I’m sure the London Institute is worried for me,” he added as if to explain to Kit where his home was.

“Are you really leaving?” Kit asked, trying to summon his stomach from his shoes. Ty looked over at him, staring hard at Kit’s bare shoulder.

“Why wouldn’t I?” He asked and Kit shrugged, sinking against his bed frame.

“I don’t know. I just got you back, I didn’t expect to lose you so soon.”

“Well Christopher, you left the first time and now it is my turn,” Ty said, his voice steel. Kit didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what there was that he could say. He felt small, and he felt hurt, and he hated to admit that he still felt guilty for leaving Ty. He had missed him for six years, ached to reach out to him and talk to him, but by the time he had been ready… Ty was already a Centurion in charge of his own missions and roaming far and wide. Kit hadn’t wanted to interrupt his life.

“Do you know where the door is?” Kit asked as Ty finished dressing himself and reached for his shoes.

“Yes,” Ty said, “You don’t have to get up.”

Kit opened his mouth to say goodbye, but Ty was already moving towards the bedroom door and he closed it behind him with a definitive click. Kit licked his lips and sank deeper into his bed; the side Ty had slept in already growing cold. He groaned and reached out to his phone, clicking the screen on to check the battery. He had 4% which was enough to check the latest Shadow world and mundane news headlines. There was the threat of a pandemic going around and, just like the rest of England, Kit had been waiting for the Prime Minister to call a complete lockdown to try and help the situation.

England to Lockdown, Effective from 9am Today

Kit read the first headline twice before checking the time. 9.37am.

He leapt from his bed, ignoring his own clothes, and raced after Ty to stop him from breaking the law, but Ty hadn’t gone very far. He was standing at Kit’s front door, looking down at his own mobile with his back to Kit.

“Ty…” Kit whispered, but there wasn’t really anything he could say.

“Don’t Kit, I don’t want to hear it,” Ty said, unravelling a greying pair of earphones and plugging them into his phone.

“Do you want something to eat?” Kit asked quietly. Ty paused his fidgeting and glanced over at him; his familiar eyes troubled.

“What do you have?” He asked. Kit remembered what Ty was like for food and he thought over the contents of his kitchen, praying for something Ty would like.

“I have rice, bread and butter, honey… uh,” Kit paused and smiled, “I can make pancakes? I think I remember how Julian made them?” Kit suggested. Ty hesitated, everything about him was tense, but he nodded eventually. Kit’s smile turned into a grin, “Okay great, the kitchen is to your right, I’m going to have a shower and get dressed.”

“Okay,” Ty said, but when Kit turned and began towards his bathroom, Ty followed him. Kit felt a bubble of nerves, but he didn’t stop his old friend from following him into his bathroom or flinch when Ty began undressing again while Kit turned on the shower.

“Can you turn the fan on?” Kit asked, gesturing at the switch on the wall. Ty obliged, kicking his trousers off at the same time. Kit blew hot air out between his teeth as he took in the sight of Ty again, now completely sober and aware that he would be spending an indefinite amount of time with him.

“Don’t stare at me,” Ty said, and Kit smiled.

“You undressed in front of me, I can stare if I want to.”

“You are also naked,” Ty pointed out. Kit laughed and struck a ridiculous pose.

“Stare away,” he said. Ty’s cheeks went pink. “Are you coming in the shower?” Kit asked, pulling back the curtain. Ty nodded and Kit gestured at him to lead the way.

Ty didn’t help Kit make the pancakes, he just watched from the barstool on the opposite side of the countertop, one earphone pressed into his ear and the other trailing down the front of a borrowed sweatshirt.

“Do you want anything on them?” Kit asked and Ty shook his head. Kit had nerves in his stomach, knowing that it was very possible Ty wouldn’t like the pancakes and get upset. He watched with bated breath as Ty picked one up and rolled it before taking a small bite.

“I like it,” he said and took a bigger bite. Kit sighed in relief and leant on the counter, reaching to get one for himself and drowning it in golden syrup.

“Are you going to find a way to get back to the Institute?” Kit asked, looking down at his plate.

“We aren’t allowed to leave,” Ty said, but Kit knew that there were ways Ty could leave without breaking the new lockdown law.

“We could reach out to Magnus or Clary?” Kit suggested. “They could create Portals and get you back home,” he explained, looking up at Ty who was eating his second plain pancake and watching Kit.

“I guess so. Is that what you want?”

“No, I want you to stay. I want to know what it was like at the Scholomance, hear about your crazy Centurion adventures… find out what I have missed since I left,” Kit said, and he knew he sounded sad, but he felt heartbroken. He had been so young and so lost when he left Ty all those years ago. Now they were 21 and he grieved for the years that he should have had with Ty. He missed what they, clearly, could have been if he had stayed.

“Then I will stay. And I will tell you, and you will tell me what you have been doing for the past six years. We can pretend that I never have to leave, and this will never end,” Ty said, his voice the gentlest it had been since waking up in Kit’s bed. Kit nodded, wondering if he was going to cry. He knew the fifteen-year-old inside him wanted to cry.

“Can I kiss you?” Kit asked, his voice quiet. Ty looked genuinely surprised, but he nodded his head and put his pancake down.

“Why did you ask? We kissed last night, and this morning,” Ty said as Kit went around the counter to him. With Ty seated, they were the same height and Kit put his hand gently on Ty’s and used his other to tilt his chin.

“Because those kisses were a steppingstone to get to where we did…” Kit said, and then pressed his lips gently to Ty’s. This kiss wasn’t fevered and hungry like every other kiss since seeing each other the night before. It was soft, it alighted a warmth inside Kit that spread from his stomach to his toes and made his cheeks go pink. It tasted like pancakes and golden syrup, and it made the years they had been apart fall away. “And that kiss,” Kit said, pulling away, “was a kiss we should have had a long time ago.”

#kitty #heronthorn #kit herondale #ty blackthorn #kit x ty #kit herondale x ty blackthorn #tda #lockdown #coronavirus

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1zashreena1 · 4 years

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Quarantine- New Ranch Flavor! -5

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess is stranded in NYC with her Murder Panther for the duration of the quarantine. As a high risk patient she has no choice but to isolate as much as possible. Simulated domesticity ensues. Princess texts a running commentary to her bff Lisa.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

No actual smut, nasty ass snack foods, plus size insecurity, unprotected sex, feels are icky, plus size woman+fit man, bad boys with too much money and not enough impulse control, secondary OCs, excessive swearing (???), illegal business dealings… I mean, its DIEGO

A/N: Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic @symbiont13 @nicke0115 @bunnykjm @rosee-sensuelle @girlpornparadise @mandoplease @heresathreebee @xxsteph-enrixx @jetiikad @joalsglasses @mutantcookiesecrets @demoncatstone @squidlywiddly87

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged.

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Thursday 11:22am

From Princess

Day 1 and I literally have an ice pack on my pussy and

Hold on he’s not wearing pants again gtg

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Friday 9:49am

From Princess

Video chatting with sister when Diego walks past in the background… shirtless.

She put her phone down (my entire screen was just ceiling) and I could hear her crying. Hung up after 10 min

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Friday 10:14pm

From Princess

He sucks ass at Jenga and its adorable

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Saturday 11:49am

From Princess

I was provided a to-do list for the day.

It's just his name

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Sunday 1:32pm

From Princess

We have sorted every liquid in the penthouse into 2 categories:

Potential Lube

Definitely Not Lube

Except we’re arguing about ranch dressing

~~~

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Sunday 2:17pm

From Princess

Update: Ranch went into the Not Lube category because it “smells nasty when it gets warm” This fact was previously unknown to me and I was afraid to ask for more details

~~~

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Monday 8:40am

From Princess

Morning announcements include the fact that 8:37 is the earliest he has ever gotten up

I’m worried about losing my job. Diego advises me to apply to Dyson because I “never lose suction”

Am I offended or proud of myself? It’s not even 9am

~~~

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Tuesday 1:12am

From Princess

This is the most weed I have ever consumed in my life (I know, not a high bar) Why is he hanging upside down off the couch making motorboat noises??

~~~

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Tuesday 1:14am

From Princess

Ahh. He was composing a poem about my tits

~~~

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Tuesday 2:49am

From Princess

The railing up the stairs to the bedroom does not in fact support my weight. Pole dance competition is OFF

~~~

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Tuesday 2:57am

From Princess

You know that thing you do with my bras? Where you put it on like a headband and it makes mickey mouse ears?

~~~

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Wednesday 11:17am

From Princess

Julio required to give 10 min warning prior to arrival so Diego can take off his pants

Yes you read that right

Freak

~~~

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Wednesday 11:19am

From Princess

Yes you do so know who Julio is. Big, round, only wears ivory/eggshell/off white/ThisIsMy 2ndWedding colored blazers. Jeez Lisa you're not old enough for dementia yet girl

~~~

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Wednesday 12:52pm

From Princess

I have played myself. Just ate an entire cheesesteak while being a cockwarmer

Turns out I’m the freak

Julio present and accounted for

~~~

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Thursday 9:37am

From Princess

He’s crunching a bowl of something via spoon. I ask what it is. Crushed cheez-its and mayonnaise. What in the actual fuck this man is a literal monster

~~~

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Thursday 12:10pm

From Princess

Edible body paint works on windows. Had to sit on his shoulders but this is the largest ‘FUCK’ I have ever written. Very proud

~~~

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Thursday 12:22pm

From Princess

Bottom half of the ‘C’ has transferred onto my ass. But 7 orgasms. Pick your battles

~~~

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Thursday 11:47pm

From Princess

Tried a pickled habanero. He’s still face down in the rug crying with laughter. It’s been 10 min dude come on

~~~

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Friday 10:12am

From Princess

Me: Why are you so heavy?

Diego: I keep eating you

Me: High five

~~~

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Friday 3:17pm

From Princess

He’s trying to “conduct business” via 3 cellphones. Would offer my tablet but I’m too pretty for prison. Gonna take a nap

~~~

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Friday 4:41pm

From Princess

Pants are forbidden in the bedroom. We’re just making the rules up as we go I see

~~~

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Saturday 9:59am

From Princess

He’s sitting in the corner of the window walls staring dejectedly outside. I hear the tiniest forlorn whisper “THOSE people are outside”

Too cute--must blow---BRB

~~~

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Saturday 1:32pm

From Princess

Angry texting. Muttering “No I can’t go outside and no you can’t come in here. Bitch…. No no, delete delete delete”

Me: Where is your sister anyway? LA?

Him: Very Squinty Eyes

~~~

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Saturday 9:22pm

From Princess

My ass is stuck in the kitchen sink. While he was very helpful getting me in here he is of no assistance getting me out.

~~~

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Saturday 11:46pm

From Princess

Apparently ‘douchecanoe twatwaffle jerkface’ is the most hilarious insult he has ever heard. My brilliance is unparalleled

~~~

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Sunday 5:51am

From Princess

Me: Hey what’s the worst thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

Him outrageously offended: I’m not answering that!

Him: ... you first

~~~

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Sunday 7:12pm

From Princess

Is it a legit massage if he has to pause in the middle to jack off?

~~~

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Monday 11:06am

From Princess

Ordered groceries via Amazon Prime drone delivery. Sitting on the rooftop patio wrapped up together in a ginormous blankie waiting.

Does this count as a date?

~~~

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Monday 1:13pm

From Princess

Drone arrived. I lost my shit. Coolest thing ever. He’s frantically ordering more stuff because I haven’t looked this ecstatic since the time he rubbed my feet then went down on me for 2 hrs

Hold up change of plans

~~~

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Monday 2:28pm

From Princess

stubble burn on bottom of feet :-/

~~~

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Monday 6:44pm

From Princess

We can both fit in the jacuzzi tub. Almost drowned when his phone rang and we both spazzed out

~~~

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Tuesday 10:10am

From Princess

Today’s formal edict: He will only be referring to himself in the 3rd person. I am required to do as told. Should not be this turned on

~~~

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Tuesday 11:58am

From Princess

Watching him try to answer calls like this is a level of hilarity I could not have predicted

~~~

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Tuesday 1:53pm

From Princess

He gave me a crash course in chem. Still don’t know anything but it was hot as hell

~~~

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Tuesday 2:57pm

From Princess

Despite all evidence to the contrary I’m a Good Girl. Did as I was told. Got rewarded. 13 times

~~~

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Tuesday 5:33pm

From Princess

Unlocked a tiny piece of tragic backstory*™: He’s never been to a zoo :-(

~~~

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Wednesday 11:24am

From Princess

Julio and Bastian brought 4 pizzas. Currently eating them individually sitting in a giant square in the living room SOCIAL DISTANCING

Like he wasn’t inside me 10 min ago wtf

~~~

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Wednesday 11:25am

From Princess

Yes cute driver Bastian. Btw you are barking up the wrong tree girl. His favorite animal is bears lol

~~~

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Wednesday 12:39pm

From Princess

Garlic butter: lube or no? Round table discussion happening.

~~~

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Wednesday 1:19pm

From Princess

I won in favor of No

Me: slams hands down on table

Me: HAVE YOU EVER HAD A YEAST INFECTION???

All men present: :-[

:-[

~~~

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Wednesday 1:32pm

From Princess

Diego: puts garlic butter cup in the empty box and slides the whole mess off table to the floor without breaking eye contact. My sugar daddy is truly a murder panther

~~~

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Wednesday 3:49pm

From Princess

Flipping channels (he only has 5000) when he comes downstairs from the bedroom wearing Ginormous Blankie as cape.

Him: Can we do the thing again?

Me: Gotta be way more specific babe

Him: Flaps blankie like wings and gives me puppy dog eyes

Him: You know. Thing. On the roof. ...please?

Did

Did he just ask me to cuddle???

~~~

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Wednesday 5:58pm

From Princess

Can confirm roof cuddles. He fell asleep with his face mashed into my neck-shoulder after watching sunset. Every time I move he whimpers and squeezes tighter. I don't know what is happening but it kinda hurts in my chest

~~~

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Wednesday 9:12pm

From Princess

Me: You know those girls you send away when I come up? There's one that sorta begrudgingly likes me?

Him, stuffing a 2nd Oreo into his mouth(there's already a whole 1 in there)

Him: Frahnthessga?

Me: Yeah! Can I fuck her?

….I should worry about my job again pretty sure Murder Panther Sugar Daddy is dead

~~~

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Wednesday 10:48pm

From Princess

We splintered the plexiglass-divider-shower-wall thingy. His solution was to just hold all 215lbs of me up in the air and finish. I have no words

~~~

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Thursday 4:12am

From Princess

I can hear him on the phone downstairs listing names. I don't know these people. I'm going in the bathroom to run water so I can't hear anything else

~~~

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Thursday 9:02am

From Princess

I slept thru a breakfast meeting. There's a laptop and a box of 1 doz Boston cream donuts labeled PRINCESS on the bar counter. He's watching news with Julio + Bastian on the couch. Odd but ok I got fave donuts so whatevs

~~~

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Thursday 9:17am

From Princess

On 3rd donut when I catch him staring. Can only see from eyes up bc he's peering at me over back of the couch. Have inadvertently activated Horny Murder Panther mode via accidental slutty licking of cream filling.

~~~

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Thursday 11:40am

From Princess

Me: I don't like avocado

Diego: bitch what the fuck

~~~

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Thursday 12:10pm

From Princess

He asked what the deal was with white people and meatloaf. I requested clarification on food or music. He's confused it's fucking adorable

BUT NOW I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE ENTIRE GENRE OF CLASSIC ROCK

~~~

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Thursday 2:14pm

From Princess

I'm making a meatloaf for dinner. Also brownies. TV is still on???

~~~

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Thursday 4:24pm

From Princess

Found a big round can of guava paste in the back of the fridge. He's spoon feeding it to me while watching me make meatloaf

Diego: I did not realize you were so… domesticated

Me, no brain to mouth filter: Yeah well gettin dicked down 3x a day will do that to a girl

Please send hitman asap

~~~

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Thursday 5:10pm

From Princess

He just turned TV off. Local news was listing all major crimes in NYC today. Last story was 6 bodies found inside meat plant freezer, execution style kills with "on-site" equipment. When I whisper Dafuq?? he distractedly mutters 'captive bolt pistol'

He's texting again

~~~

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Thursday 5:39pm

From Princess

I kinda wanna come home now

~~~

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Thursday 7:48pm

From Princess

I have converted another person to meatloaf lover (food not music)

On 3rd brownie when he declares: I am never letting you leave again. Mine now

Look up from rolling my eyes to receive Super Intense I Can See Into Your Soul Diego Stare

~~~

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Thursday 9:50pm

From Princess

He's looking for a scary movie via voice command on remote. Other hand is on my foot. I can't even see my foot. What is the actual purpose of hands that big?? What is the evolutionary goal to this endgame? ?? Why am I wet just thinking about a h a n d ?????

~~~

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Friday 12:34am

From Princess

Con: This asshole is delighted to learn that I don't like scary movies

Pro: Hiding my face in his chest means I fucking feel the rumble when he laughs at me. I think I'm developing a heart condition. Hurts again.

~~~

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Friday 1:40am

From Princess

He's rubbing his face all over my stomach. I don't like this. Sir why. Please it's literally the least attractive part of me

~~~

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Friday 2:11am

From Princess

He likes it…? I don't see. How does. But it's.

~~~

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Friday 3:47am

From Princess

He's asleep on my stomach after spending 40 min declaring his love for belly

I'm crying and I can't stop. My whole chest hurts. What is this. Is this the most long game prank ever. There's no way he's for real. I'm afraid. Do you think I should try to escape?? Please you know I'm not easily frightened but I just. Please text back I need my BFF

~~~

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Friday 7:18am

From Princess

Woke up in bed alone and naked. Gonna grab a shirt and handle this. I can't just ignore it. This is probably a bad idea but I can't just let it go. If you don't hear back from me by noon call my parents. I love you

~~~

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Friday 11:38am

From Princess

Halfway down the stairs 3 dudes I don't know come out of the office, Diego and Julio follow. They take 1 look at me and launch into laughter and some rude fucking spanish. I'm rusty but I know fucking "fat bitch" tyvm. Diego picks this mf up by the throat and throws him into the elevator. Drags the other 2 in and... no one has come back since

Been locked in the bathroom. I'm afraid to hear anything

~~~

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Friday 1:48pm

From Princess

Relocated to closet earlier. Reading. I'm 2 chapters in and I don't even remember the title. Gonna take an ativan. Hands are shaking

~~~

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Friday 2:27pm

From Princess

You know what? I don't even care. Like as long as it's never directed at me I just don't care.

It's too late I'm in too deep. I don't know if I can even come home after this. I'm not who everyone thinks I am. I don't know who I am. I'm turning the phone off now I'm sorry but I just need everything to stop for a while

~~~

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Friday 7:48pm

From Princess

I'm ok, sorry for the dramatics. Woke up still in the closet corner but under Ginormous Blankie and can hear shower running. Decide it's time to put my big girl panties on and march in there. No I did not learn from the last time. Standby

~~~

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Friday 9:22pm

From Princess

We're good.

~~~

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Friday 11:49pm

From Princess

Ok. Marched into bathroom, launched into speech: I'm sorry but I did not know anyone was here. You have to leave me a note or something. Please tell me I did not ruin anything

Him, still in shower: Get your ass in here.

It was a literal growl

~~~

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Friday 11:50pm

From Princess

Apparently that guy had been fucking up small time and Diego was waiting for him to fuck up big time. I will never see all 3 of them again (No do not ask)Yes it was frustrating but not mad at me. Ok a little because his sister hired that guy and now he has to explain the dude's ...disappearance. Without mentioning me. No one can know about me I am a "liability"

Um ouch..? I think?? Chest pain again

~~~

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Friday 11:51pm

From Princess

He's been asleep, I'm just staring at the ceiling. Demanded I let him prove that he would never put hands on me that I don't want. I thought he was gonna cry. I did start crying but said yes. Not gentle per se, but definitely ...emotional? Like soft sex. Slow soft sex but with emotions?? I'm lost

~~~

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Friday 11:54pm

From Princess

Please tell me no. Talk me out of this. Tell me I'm fucknuts and I need to just come home and be reasonable and sensible. You know when you stand at a ledge and a little voice tells you Just jump. Do it. Go

Do I want all in? Can I do this? I should not do this. I should not care about him. Especially like this. I just. When I'm not here this is all I think about. No one else makes me feel this way

~~~

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Friday 11:56pm

From Princess

I'm hysterical right? This will go away if I just sleep. I can't stop looking at him. Touching his face, hair. Ever since the Kitchen Blowup (after the first fight??is it a fight if you're not technically in a relationship?) he's been different. Careful?? Like he really listened to me and heard. I can see him trying. Like reining in his knee jerk reactions and stopping to think before he says stuff to me. What am I supposed to do?

~~~

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Friday 11:59pm

From Princess

I want to trust him. I want to be spoiled and fucked senseless and all the giggles and private planes and shopping sprees and sleeping in til noon. But what about the other side? Constantly looking over my shoulder? Worrying that he might not come home from whatever the fuck he's out doing? The other actual supermodel hot women??? I'm not naive.

~~~

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Saturday 12:10am

From Princess

I just need to turn this off. Shut it down. Cut off emotions and just fuck. I can't do this and I can't have him for keeps. So it's time to be realistic. After this shitty quarantine ends I'll take whatever cash he wants to give me and go home. I can move if I have to. It's not hard to change your name these days. This whole nightmare will be the hilarious rumors in my future nursing home

~~~

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Saturday 4:44am

From Princess

Got up at like 350 for the bathroom. When I crawled back into bed he yanked me backwards to be smashed into/under him. Buried face into my hair and ordered:

Stop

Leaving

~~~

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Saturday 9:10am

From Princess

Woke up alone. Gathered shirt. Did surveillance from top of stairs. Music blasting. Bastian and Diego are working out. I had to sit down for a while

~~~

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Saturday 9:40am

From Princess

Finally made it down the stairs. Eating donuts while watching live action porn

~~~

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Saturday 10:27am

From Princess

Show's over. Diego announces he is going to shower with a wink. I am staying on this barstool with my donuts. I am determined

~~~

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Saturday 10:38am

From Princess

Sharing donuts with Bastian. He is staring at me

Me: ...wut?

Bastian: You know I haven't driven Franchesca anywhere in 4 months

I don't know how long I've been sitting here staring at this half eaten donut but Bastian is gone

Shower still running

~~~

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Saturday 1:36pm

From Princess

Slut level 7: Shower blowjob

Realized I have to wash my hair now. He demands to do it??

Diego: How much fucking conditioner is this going to take?

Me drooling blissfully: Uhhh... please not that word right now

...I literally heard Horny Murder Panther transition happen.

He did not touch anything but my head. Came via voice command. How the fuck

~~~

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Saturday 1:39pm

From Princess

Then it was Round 2 still dripping wet in the bed. No idea how he recovered that fast not looking gift horse in the mouth. Haha Horse

Also slow soft again? Does this mean something?? I feel like I'm missing some key piece of info. Never had a dude like kiss all over my face and stroke my hair. What is this gentle?? Don't like the whole looking into my eyes thing

~~~

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Saturday 3:02pm

From Princess

Received an assignment. Was trying to budget for next month (on my new laptop! Whole Microsoft office package!! SPREADSHEETS!!!)

Instructed to help fix what I fucked up…?

It's resumes. He wants me to look at resumes. Um

~~~

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Saturday 4:12pm

From Princess

We traded laptops. I picked 3 resumes for 'warehouse labor' This is fucking surreal

Got my laptop back and… all the internet tabs were closed?? I was paying all my bills dude wtf. His phone rings but before he walks off tells me the title will be mailed to me. ?????

~~~

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Saturday 4:47pm

From Princess

He's still in the office on the phone. I'm in the closet in shock. He paid my loans. He paid my Loans. He Paid My Fucking Loans OFF

CAR

STUDENT LOANS

$$$$$ 30,000 $$$$$

THIRTY GRAND

~~~

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Saturday 4:52pm

From Princess

No you can't have him if I don't want him!! Fuck you

~~~

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Saturday 5:32pm

From Princess

Bastian came back, left a big box on the counter, said "This is for you honey" and left again. Diego still in the office.

...should I open it or wait for him to come out??

~~~

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Saturday 5:36pm

From Princess

Fuck it. I'm opening this shit

~~~

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Saturday 5:42pm

From Princess

It's a very large Brahmin bag.

Holy fuck its gorgeous

~~~

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Saturday 5:47pm

From Princess

You know what? You Know What?

IT'S KITCHEN BLOWUP 2.0 TIME

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Sunday 8:42am

From Princess

I think we're ok? I actually uh, accidentally recorded um… everything-ish. And I might send it to you later. But right now things are kinda wobbly and I just wanna enjoy everything while I can. I'll check back in later. We're going to bed now

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Sunday 1:58pm

From Princess

Woke up to 1 gigantic hand stroking down my back. 2nd hand stuffed up my pussy to the knuckle. Villain voice directly into left ear. Memory hazy after that

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Sunday 3:01pm

From Princess

Do Oreos in bed at 3pm count as breakfast? My hips hurt

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Sunday 6:40pm

From Princess

Ok we all know I'm very much A Freak. Trysexual if you will. Only way to know you don't like it is to try it right? So anal. Never really worked. Great in theory really unpleasant in practice.

Turns out others were trying to insert the wrong appendage. Related: I fucking love beards

e v e r y w h e r e

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Sunday 10:40pm

From Princess

Yes I know you wanna know about KITCHEN BLOWUP 2.0, someday I'll tell you about v.1. It's complicated. There are feels. I can't take the vague, wishy washy, up in the air status. So it went kinda like this

Me: You want to "keep" me? Wtf does that even mean?? And how, via purchasing me??? Don't get me wrong, I like being spoiled. I'm not an idiot. But you don't even know me

He looked like I stabbed him. It was horrible

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Sunday 10:42pm

From Princess

So I laid it all out: I lived in my car for a while in my 20s. Escaped an abusive ex after 8 yrs. Survived cancer at 26. Did 2 rounds of trade school just to be scraping by at like $15 an hour. That you just paid off like it was nothing. You try to protect me from you and your life. But you have no idea what I've already survived.

So here's the deal: You wanna keep me?? Then I get to keep you.

But it's everything. If I can't have everything then I don't want anything. And if it can't be ONLY me then I gotta go. I'm not a back up plan or a convenience.

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Sunday 10:50pm

From Princess

At this point I'm scream-crying, gesticulating like I'm hysterical. He's collapsed on the floor at my feet looking like I just killed his dog. Only makes me worse. I'm demanding an answer right fucking now. This is a disaster.

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Sunday 10:54pm

From Princess

He starts yelling about how he can't keep me if I'm dead. This isn't a fucking game and I'm just like Do I look like I'm playing right now?!?

Lisa, he was crying. Just kept repeating "She's right. She's fucking right. That bitch is right."

Head in his hands sobbing.

I couldn't.

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Sunday 10:59pm

From Princess

So I got down on my knees in front of him and reached for his hands. Just like the first blowup. I was terrified because he's obviously not in control and like I don't know the things he does but I Know. And the PTSD from ex… but I finally got him to look at me and asked him to just Tell Me.

And he did.

~~~

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Monday 12:04am

From Princess

If you had told me that night in the club that any of this would happen. That this man was capable of everything these past 10 months have brought. I would've taken you to the hospital myself.

He collapsed on me and was just begging me "Don't go don't go. Please stay. Stay just for now. Please. No one else no one." I have a lot to consider. Probably gonna be quiet for a few days. I'll text you when things calm down. He's asleep on my chest right now

~~~

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Monday 12:10am

From Princess

I mean 10 months...how many weekends have I been up here? 12? 16? And only twice did I reach out first and ask. I have stuff here. You saw the closet section. Every time I arrive there's coke and ketchup in the fridge. My face wash and toothbrush and a huge bottle of gel in the bathroom. Last time here he gave me the safe combo???

~~~

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Monday 12:14am

From Princess

YES THE SODA JFC

I mean, I've never seen ...other… in the fridge. I don't think it needs to be refrigerated???

I Don't Know Okay

~~~

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Monday 6:40am

From Princess

Woke up around 5 and he was just staring at me from like 2 inches away. He left once he realized I was awake. I didn't follow. He still hasn't come back to bed yet. Should I go find him?

~~~

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Monday 11:38am

From Princess

Found him on the couch. Coffee table covered in vast array of firearms. Did not realize there were so many in this penthouse. Little uncomfortable. But I'm a fast learner with good mechanical skills so now I can do gun stuff. Please don't ask me about it

~~~

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Monday 11:41am

From Princess

Ok yesss. We had the stupid movie cliche moment of big tough guy stands behind damsel to teach some physical skill. Gawd.

...yeah doing it feels better than watching. You happy now???

~~~

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Monday 2:28pm

From Princess

Mood swing. He declared vengeance on behalf of his closet. I have worn too many shirts. This cannot continue. ????? Stay tuned

~~~

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Monday 2:59pm

From Princess

This man runs the largest distribution enterprise in the western hemisphere.

Currently stuck in one of my $6 tank tops from Target.

~~~

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Monday 4:17pm

From Princess

I'm out a tank top. And a thong. Go ahead and just think about that

...But I'm still wearing one of his shirts :-D

~~~

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Monday 5:48pm

From Princess

Instead of admitting defeat he decided to forcibly remove the shirt from me. Since I have to be difficult, I ran. If this place wasn't soundproof there would be so many police here.

What level of fucked up is it to enjoy screaming No!, while struggling, not less than 3 sec prior to orgasm??

~~~

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Monday 5:52pm

From Princess

The scale only goes to 10. You don't gotta be a bitch. Damn

~~~

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Monday 8:17pm

From Princess

14 days will be up this Thursday. But they're talking about extending it, really bad here. I'm scared. Gonna try a drink, maybe ativan because I'm starting to freak out.

~~~

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Monday 9:57pm

From Princess

Watching the news and I just sorta came unglued. Diego not really a soft/gentle guy (obvs) but once I got thru a blubber-cry explanation of immuno-compromised and cancer treatment I got full lap cuddles. I want this every time I'm upset. Warm and solid and big hands and soft nuzzles and scratchy velvet cheek kisses. Feel so tiny and safe

~~~

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Monday 11:40pm

From Princess

Think I'm fukced up. Everything feels good. Petting all the things

~~~

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Monday 11:44pm

From Princess

I'm fiiiiine. One drink. Once ativan. Thats it

~~~

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Monday 11:49pm

From Princess

Omgod ill be fine it's good donot call me

~~~

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Monday 11:55pm

From Princess

What are fiddlesticks? Like the worrd not a instrument accessory?why do we say that

~~~

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Tuesday 7:42am

From Princess

Holy shit I slept so good. I looked back thru the texts. Wtf was I doing?? I don't remember any of this

~~~

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Tuesday 8:32am

From Princess

He's giving me that all teeth smile. I'm very suspicious. And surprisingly not horny?? Am I dying?

~~~

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Tuesday 9:46am

From Princess

Have been informed that I was very adorable last night. I'm afraid to learn his definition of adorable

~~~

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Tuesday 10:12am

From Princess

Omg he has 3 hours of video

~~~

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Tuesday 11:17am

From Princess

I spent 45 min yelling about Pluto planet status being revoked and the kilogram definition being forever altered. He was very invested in the 2nd part. Legit academic discussion

~~~

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Tuesday 11:49am

From Princess

Next part: I decided to make a fried egg sandwich. He started recording like a cooking show. I almost lit my hair on fire.

~~~

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Tuesday 11:57am

From Princess

Oh I see where everything went wrong. I had 1 drink and 1 ativan. Then I finished his drink. Then I drank his replacement. Why tf did he let me do that??

"You were so cute! How could I say no to this face, bonita?"

...I will remember that

~~~

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Tuesday 12:13pm

From Princess

Apparently we exchanged playlists. This is not good

~~~

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Tuesday 12:28pm

From Princess

Omg I revealed the Murder Panther Sugar Daddy title. Oh fuck. Shit shit shit

~~~

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Tuesday 12:42pm

From Princess

I spent 40 min petting him all over while listing everything I liked and why. He is going to be insufferable for forever after this

~~~

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Tuesday 1:22pm

From Princess

Lisa. Lisa. Holy shit. He said we made a porno. I laughed. He fucking narrated an opening to it. I am dying I am going to die I am dead

Him, offscreen: Diego and Bicki make a Porno!

Me, onscreen, twerking on the bed in lace bra

Me: eeeeeeeeeeeeeee ASS AND TITTIES!!!

Diego pops into shot, giggling: Pretty Princess Pussy!!

The whole thing just dissolved into shaky blur and us laughing hysterically

~~~

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Tuesday 1:24pm

From Princess

No I'm not sharing it. What is wrONG WITH YOU??????

~~~

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Tuesday 3:44pm

From Princess

It… did not go the way I thought it would. And apparently he had not watched it either because we were both surprised.

That. Was not sex. Seeing the soft slow with emotions from the outside was pretty damning.

That was lovemaking

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 6:32pm

From Princess

I'm locked in the bathroom. Everything is fucked.

I just… I just hid my face and said "I want to go home." Like a fucking coward hiding behind my hair, I took off upstairs and now I'm here. It's been a long time. I'm still alone

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 6:39pm

From Princess

No shit Sherlock, I know I have intimacy issues.

Men don't love me. Sure I'm fun to fuck for a while. But they don't take a poor fat girl home. Come on, you've seen it firsthand. Clearly, since here I still am by myself

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 6:42pm

From Princess

I don't know what I was thinking. I don't belong here. Guess I'll just ride out the last 2 days then come home

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 6:45pm

From Princess

I think Julio is here. I can hear their voices but can't make out the words

Oh no his sister is here. They're yelling in Spanish, I can't catch any of it

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 10:14pm

From Princess

They screamed for a while, then she finally left. Been silent ever since. I don't know if he's still here

~~~

Incoming Text

Tuesday 10:40pm

From Princess

He's definitely still here. There's a tantrum going on

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 12:32am

From Princess

Fell asleep in the closet corner again. Except when I woke up he was wedged in there with me

Me: … um

Diego: I think I see why you do this

Then he went to sleep on me

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 5:48am

From Princess

Have been talking since 3. Still in the closet.

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:10am

From Princess

I'm coming home when this is over. I need some time and space to think.

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:12am

From Princess

Is that even the right term? Do you 'break up' with a sugar daddy????

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:13am

From Princess

NO I WANT TO KEEP HIM

BITCH I WILL STAB YOU

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:16am

From Princess

Gonna shower and go to bed. You mention that last text and I literally will stab you. BFF or not

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 4:40pm

From Princess

Just listened to an hour of descriptions of Mexico.

I am… tempted

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 6:54pm

From Princess

I'm flying home Friday, they just lifted the travel ban here.

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 6:59pm

From Princess

No, no one is happy here. We're both clingy disasters today

~~~

Incoming Text

Wednesday 7:17pm

From Princess

Went downstairs. It's a war zone. We came back upstairs

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:19am

From Princess

Couldn't sleep so I'm packing. Diego is watching me from the bed with the biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes in existence.

Effect kinda ruined because I can see his bare ass

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:22am

From Princess

Why would you ask me that? You know he's an exhibitionist

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:23am

From Princess

I can't decide if you're the Best or the Worst BFF ever. Gawd

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:25am

From Princess

...IMAGE LOADING…

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:27am

From Princess

Yeah. You see my dilemma now???

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:28am

From Princess

Yes I bite it! What is wrong with you today???

~~~

Incoming Text

Thursday 6:43pm

From Princess

He spent entire day attached to me. I..??? What do I do with a clingy cartel boss drug lord?? Its too much

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 8:52am

From Princess

I'm on the plane. He rode here with me. Looked so… broken. Feel like a monster. But I'm scared

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 1:45pm

From Princess

Lisa. LISA. LISA.

I'm home but but he. Omg

~~~

Incoming Text

Friday 2:38pm

From Princess

There's a tiny stuffed panther in my bag with a note: I just want to be with you

My very own Tiny Murder Panther

#damnit diego #murder panther #zash writes #24 fucking 7 hours in this house #rough me up then dick me down #so many feels #literally filth #nasty ass food

43 notes · View notes

findingmypeace · 3 years

Text

3/14/2021

I should probably update. It’s a 12 hr drive between “home” and my parents new house. We left “home” a little after 7pm on Friday. We drove for several hours and then at about 1am we stopped and my family slept in the cars (we have 3 cars on this trip) for a few hours. Then we continued driving for a few more hours. At about 9am yesterday morning we reached the city I spent 9 years living in (I did undergrad there) and decided to get breakfast. Strange thing it snowed there. A lot! It probably snowed once the whole 9 yrs I lived there. This was a historic storm. Of course it had to be when we’re traveling. The snow was only get more heavy and thick the more north we traveled so it was decided we would get a hotel and at least sleep for a few hours instead of chance the storm. Well a few hours turned into all day and then we decided to spend the night. Interesting thing about the hotel we stayed in. It was the same hotel my Dad and I stayed in during my senior year of high school when my Dad took me to tour the school. That hotel is also a couple of blocks away from the off-campus apartments I lived in for a few years. What a blast from the past! I haven’t been to that city since 2013 and haven’t lived there since 2010. It was nice to be in a familiar place. I texted S (who lives there still) although I didn’t get to see her.

Anyway, we woke up this morning at about 6:30am and got ready to get back on the road. We were finally back on the road by about 7:30am. With the time zone change and daylight savings ending it is now 11am. We have about 2 1/2 hours more of driving until we reach my parent’s condo where my 3 siblings live. My parents don’t get the keys to the new house until tomorrow afternoon so we’re just going to rest when we get to the condo instead of unpack. All 3 cars are full to the brim with boxes and household items. We also borrowed a horse trailer from some family friends that my brother will return when we get back ‘home’. And then my parents also rented a POD storage container that will be delivered tomorrow. So there will be A LOT of unpacking. It a lot of work packing up a house you’ve lived in for almost 30 years. That’s 30 years of items being bought and collected over the years. Plus, my Mom’s thrift store hobby. Lol!

It still doesn’t feel real. It feels like we’re on some crazy vacation. Except we have all 3 dogs with us which has been an adventure in itself. Rosie is in the car with my sister and I and she won’t stop barking! She calms down for a few minutes because she’ll get tired and then back for a few more minutes. Poor dog. She doesn’t like being in her crate-in the car. It seriously feels like a vacation. Especially since we spent the day in a hotel in the city I went to undergrad in.

One thing that sucks is that my suitcase is buried underneath a whole bunch of boxes plus Rosie’s crate which means to reach it we have to unpack the car. So I’ve been in the same clothes since Friday morning and I am also wearing Friday’s make up. I slept in my clothes last night. I haven’t been able to brush my teeth either. I can’t wait until we get to the condo so I can take a shower and wear fresh clothes. You can also tell I’m a Southern California girl (I don’t mind revealing that) because I wore flats. Flats and snow do not mix. I was slipping all over the place plus they got soaking wet. I’m not used to the snow. I had to dry them using the hotel’s hair dryer. My feet were so cold. I brought warmer shoes but they are in my suitcase which I can’t reach! So I’m stuck in cloth flats until we get to the condo!

Again, this feels like a vacation. I’ve been way less emotional than I expected. I did cry a lot as we were driving away from the house but aside from that I’ve been fine. I was even excited (in a happy way) because of the snow in the city I used to live in. Although I would never want to live in it snow still feels a little magical to me since I’ve never lived where it snows. It was especially magical because it was in a place that doesn’t usually see snow. We’ll I’ll be seeing snow a lot more because now my parents live somewhere it snows all winter. I’m sure I’ll visit from time to time.

Last thing, this post is probably really tangential. I have a hard time sleeping in unfamiliar places so I basically didn’t get any sleep between when I woke up on Friday morning until last night. That’s about 7 hrs of sleep in 48 hours. Better than nothing but I did go about 36 hrs with no sleep. I feel really loopy. Maybe that’s also why I’m so unemotional about this whole move thing. I just hope I can do my sessions tomorrow. I didn’t cancel my work week at all because it’s telehealth so I can just do them from my parents new house/the condo. I may just cancel tomorrow’s sessions because I feel so out of it. I don’t want to mess up with my clients.

Okay, that’s all. Sorry if this is all out of sorts. I do feel really loopy.

#personal #moving #numb

4 notes · View notes

lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

Sleep with or without clothes on? I always sleep with clothes on.

Prefer black or blue pens? Black.

Dress up on Halloween? Nah, not anymore.

Like to travel? Yes. I wish I could more of it. And now with the pandemic who knows when I’ll be doing any traveling.

Like someone? I don’t have any romantic feelings for anyone currently.

Are you dating the person you like? There’s no such person as I said.

Do they know? Uh, wouldn’t the person I was dating know I was dating them?

Who sleeps with you every night? No one.

Think you’re attractive? No.

Want to get married? No. It’s not something I see ever happening for me.

Are you a good student? I was. I’m done with school now.

Are you currently happy? No.

Have you ever cheated on someone? Been cheated on? Nope and nope.

Birthplace? Somewhere in California.

Christmas or Halloween? Christmas.

Colored or black-and-white photo? Colored, but black and white photos are beautiful as well. I just like color.

Do long distance relationships work? They certainly can. People do it.

Do you believe in astrology? Nope.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Not at all.

Do you consider yourself the life of the party? Haha, no, definitely not.

Do you drink? Nah, I haven’t drank in 8 years now and have no desire to. Just wasn’t my thing.

Do you think dreams eventually come true? Not always of course, but some do.

Favorite fictional character? I watch a lot of shows and movies and read a lot of books, so I have many favorites.

Go to the movies or rent? I enjoy going to the movies. Some movies I like to experience in theaters for the first time, like the big ones that I’m excited about. Some movies I think look kinda good, but I can wait until they’re available to rent or stream. I miss going to the movies, though. It’s been almost a year now since the last time.

Have you ever moved? Yeah.

Have you ever stolen anything? When I was a kid I thought the candy in the big candy bins at the store were free, ha. Whoops.

How’s the weather right now? It was super windy today.

Last time you cut your hair? Almost a year ago.

Last person you talked to on the phone? My mom.

Last time you showered? A couple days ago.

Loud or soft music? I like to have the volume at a reasonable level. I don’t need it blasting.

McDonalds or Burger King? I like some stuff from both.

Night or day? Night.

Number of pillows? I only use two, but I have like 11 on my bed lol. I like throw pillows.

Piano or guitar? Piano.

Future job? I don’t know. :/

Current job? I don’t have one.

Current longing? I want Wingstop.

Current disappointment? My mom and brother checked a few places and couldn’t find any of my Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks, so that sucked.

Current annoyance? My head hurts.

Last thing you ate? Some shortbread cookies. I was dipping them in Almond Breeze that has a hint of honey in it and the combo was delicious.

Last thing you bought? Starbucks.

Most recent thing you are looking forward to? New episodes of my some of my shows I watch this week.

What are you hearing right now? I’m watching a vlog.

Plans for the weekend? Nothing out of the ordinary.

What did you do today? Slept until 5, had coffee, checked my social medias, watched TV, had dinner and watched The Servant with my mom and bro, and now here I am doing surveys and watching YouTube videos.

Pick a lyric, any lyric or song? Nah.

Pick a movie quote? Nah.

Do you believe that Walt Disney is really frozen? No.

Did you ever hear that myth? Yeah, I know about it.

When you get older, do you want children? I’m 31 and know that I don’t want children.

If not do you want cats instead? I want dogs instead.

Do you believe it's easy to forgive and forget? Not the forgetting part.

Do you ever wish your parents would disappear? No!

When you feel like running away from it all, who do you call? I don’t call anyone I just cry and do my normal go-to activities to try and distract myself and get through the day.

Do you speak any foreign languages? Not fluently, but I can speak a little Spanish.

Are you in high school? Nooo, I graduated over a decade ago. I’m old.

Elementary? Omg.

College? Nope, I graduated back in 2015.

How many stairs can you climb before you wanna pass out? Well, I can’t take the stairs at all since I’m in a wheelchair.

Have you ever kissed someone with braces? No.

Do you want to? That’s a weird thing to want to do lol. Like, you can not mind or not care if you did, but to be like, “I really want to kiss someone with braces” is weird.

What color is your shower curtain? Blue.

Do you own a wallet? Yeah.

Do you have any money in it? Nope.

Do you think you smell good? I smell my deodorant.

Do other people agree? Hopefully no one thinks I smell bad.

Do you think painting toenails is stupid? No? I don’t paint my toenails, but I don’t think it’s stupid to do so.

Do you enjoy school? I enjoyed aspects of it.

Why or why not? I’m someone who easily gets overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out, but I enjoyed learning about the stuff I was interested in and not all the projects were bad.

Have you had sex in the past week? No. Or ever.

Is it awkward when you run into your ex? That never happens. We don’t live in the same city for one, but also I don’t go anywhere, ha.

Are you afraid of falling in love? Yes. I fell in love twice and was rejected and hurt, so not the best experience. But I think I’m more afraid the older I get, too.

Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober.

Do you remember who you liked in Year Seven? My best friend at the time, Kyle.

Are there any relationships you wish could have lasted longer? Ty and I never dated, but I feel like something could have happened between us. I feel like it was heading in that direction and if we had more time together... who knows. But things got messed up.

Will you get kissed tonight? Nope.

Have you had to have stitches at all in the last year? No.

How old will you be on your next birthday? 32.

Which is coming next: Christmas or your birthday? My birthday.

Have you ever stayed up all night and then gone to work in the morning? Not work, but school.

Would you pierce your nipples for $100? Nooo.

Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. That’s not something I want, but that’s also something I worry about the older I get because it’s not uncommon for people my age to have a child, probably more, so finding someone who doesn’t may be hard.

Are you taller than 5’6”? No, I’m like 5′4.

Would you ever consider adoption? I don’t want children, I think I’ve made that pretty clear now.

How do you feel about your life right now? I feel good at all about it.

What’s the last song you listened to? I don’t remember to be honest. I haven’t been listening to music lately.

Have you ever been a clown for Halloween? No.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? Yeah, it’s past my butt.

What time did you go to bed last night? Not until after 9AM. :/

When did you get up this morning? It was evening time when I got up at 5PM.

When was the last time it rained? A few weeks ago.

Are your fingernails painted at the moment? Nope. I haven’t painted them in years.

Do you ever go hunting/fishing? No. I have no interest in either of those.

When was the last time you went camping? Never. Not something I have any interest in doing either.

Are you currently wearing anything orange? Nope.

Do you know anyone who is a nurse? Yeah.

Are you currently wearing any jewelry? Nope.

Was any of it given to you?

If so, by whom? What are you looking forward to tomorrow? There isn’t anything.

Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Not that I know of.

How many missed calls have you had today? One.

Have you told anyone you loved them today? No.

Are you wearing shoes at the moment? No.

Does it snow where you live? No, sadly.

Do you live within an hour of the ocean? More like 2 1/2 hours.

Do you ever do things even though you know you'll regret it later? Yes. And not do things that I know I’ll regret not doing.

What are you currently sitting/laying on? My chair.

Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No.

How old is your oldest living grandparent? I think he’s 87.

Do you remember who you were dating in July 2006? No one.

Are you still dating that person? Yes, I’m dating no one. ha.

Who was the last non-relative of the same sex you had a conversation with? My doctor.

Last non-relative of the opposite sex? The nurse at my last appointment.

Do you tend to fall for people who don’t return your feelings? Yep. :/

Where do you go to school, if anywhere? I’m done with school. I wouldn’t give you the name anyway.

Do you have a job? No.

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing? Hot Topic.

Are you left-handed? Nope.

Do you wear contacts? No, I wear glasses.

Who are your godparents? I don’t have any.

What do you think of winter? I love the winter.

Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? No.

Which parent do you look most like? My mom.

Ever been to Alabama? No.

Do you use eBay to buy or sell? I’ve only ever bought stuff on eBay.

Ever failed a test? Yes.

Do you have any friends who are famous? No.

Is your computer a laptop? It is.

Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I’ve gone 8 years and have no desire as of now, so.

What did you dress up as for Halloween? It’s been a few years since I’ve dressed up for Halloween. I’m over that part of it.

Your most recent ex breaks down and tells you they love you, what do you do? Ha, that wouldn’t happen.

You and your last ex: who should hate whom? Neither of us should hate the other. Nothing happened to warrant those kind of feelings.

When was the last time you stayed at a hotel? Almost a year ago during my Disneyland vacation.

Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Yes.

Is your self esteem high or low? My self-esteem is shit. When was the last time you showered? A couple days ago.

Is music a daily part of your life? No. Especially not lately.

Yellow nail polish: yes or no? Sure.

Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? No.

What are you doing right now? This and watching a YouTube video.

What time did you wake up this morning? I didn’t get up until 5PM.

When was the last time you cried really hard? About a week ago.

Think of your last kiss, was it good? Yeah.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? My doggo. (:

Have you ever held hands with the same sex? Yeah, my mom.

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose? Fall or winter.

What’s bothering you right now? My head hurts.

What were you doing at eleven last night? I was coloring and watching Sister, Sister. Lol, sounds like I traveled back to my childhood.

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone? No. All the clothes I wear are mine.

Have you ever kissed the last person you text messaged? No.

What side of a heart do you draw first? The left, I think.

Is there someone you will never forget? There’s a lot of people I’ll never forget.

Is there someone you don’t ever want to be out of your life? My loved ones, of course.

This time last year, were you single? Yep. I’ve been single for 8 years.

Do you listen to music when you’re down? I don’t turn to music anymore for that, I tend to turn to ASMR.

What is your mom saved as in your phone? “Mama Bear” with a bear and purple heart emojis.

When’s your birthday? July 28th.

Can a relationship last without honesty? I don’t know what kind of relationship that would be.

Do you curse in front of your parents? No. I’m a grown adult and still feel weird about it lol. And it’s not like my parents don’t cuss. My mom loves her f-bombs, ha. I’m just weird.

Are you short? Yes.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? No.

Which shoe do you put on first? I think my left.

Do you wish things were better? That sure would be nice.

What are your plans for Friday? New episodes of a couple shows I watch come out, so I’ll have those to watch. Otherwise, just the same ol’, same ol.’

Saturday? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Anything going on this week? No.

Do you find it hard to trust others? For me, it’s opening up to people that is hard for me.

Are you a patient person? No.

Do you laugh a lot? I haven’t had a good, real laugh in so long. I chuckle and do the blow air out of nose laugh, ha.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Yeah.

What color shirt are you wearing? Black.

What color are your pants/shorts? I’m wearing blue leggings.

Plan on getting married? No.

Do you believe that love lasts forever? Not always, but it definitely can.

Do you believe everyone needs a second chance? Not everyone, but generally. I give out many chances.

Do you want your tongue pierced? No.

Do you always answer your phone? When it’s my parents or brother.

What woke you up this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, but most likely it’ll be my alarm.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? It’s only 12:33AM, but I hope to be asleep at 8.

Do you say "sexy" a lot? I like never say that.

Ever made out in a pool? No.

Do you like to have long hair or short hair? Long. I just wish I had the energy and motivation to style it and take better care of it. My hair is so long and all I do is throw it up in a bun all the time.

Where do you keep your money? In my bank.

What was the weather like today? It’s currently 57f.

Do you want to cut your hair? Just a trim.

Do you like sushi? Blech, no.

Are you over the age of 25? Yes. I’m 31. I typed 32 at first, I’m already aging myself up ugh. I have a few months until then.

Do you have a nickname? Just Steph and Sis.

Do you change your phone background a lot? Not a lot, but every few months I’d say. I really get into during the holidays.

Would you get back with your last ex if you could? No.

Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? Nope. It’s been like 10 years since we’ve talked or seen each other.

How long does it take you to get ready to go out? Ha, my outings only include going to the doctor now, but it doesn’t take me long at all. I put in minimal effort.

Have you ever been strip searched? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

3 notes · View notes

pixiegrl · 4 years

Note

prompts! maybe “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.” with maybe malum? it feels like a malum prompt to me

Maggie! I love this so much! @tirednotflirting wrote about a malum wedding last week and it made me think of this! I hope you enjoy it! (also shout out to @pushkinalexander who read it and then yelled at me for never showing her the 5sos dogs lol)

As always, its on ao3 too (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25958740)

Michael is peaceful when he sleeps. It’s nice getting to watch him like this, face relaxed as he nuzzles into his pillow. He looks young and soft, burrowing into the warmth that’s coming off of Calum. He reminds him of Moose like this, hair fluffy and soft, curled up with his head resting on Calum’s arm. Cal has lost the feeling in his arm about 20 minutes ago from where Michael has been laying on it, but he can’t bear to tell Michael to move.

Cal doesn’t want to wake Michael up. He looks so peaceful and this is probably the most sleep either of them have gotten in the last few weeks with the prep going on for Luke and Ashton’s wedding. They’ve been left in charge of all the last minute changes: the freak out Luke had when he realized his suit pants were too short, when Ashton had a meltdown over the flight for his mum, when Lauren and Harry got delayed and he thought it was going to ruin everything. There had been one moment when Luke had called Michael and Ashton had called Calum, the both of them freaking out about the wedding, the possibility that the other doesn’t love him as much, that this whole thing is just a long joke waiting for the punchline. They’d been talked down and reassured that they already have almost 10 years of love between them and the wedding is just an extension of their love.

Helping them plan their wedding; ironing out the kinks, fixing the problems, had reminded Calum of how much he loves Michael. He’s loved Michael since he was a kid and he loves him even more now, as his boyfriend, getting to watch Michael doing things like scrunch his nose up in his sleep like Moose does or when he yells at his video games or whines when he’s been awake for too long. It’s sweet and wonderful and Calum wants to spend the rest of his life with Michael.

Michael peaks one eye open, looking up at Calum. Calum smiles down at him.

“Morning sweetheart.”

“What ‘ime is it?”

“Almost 8am.”

Michale groans, trying to burrow further back into the pillow. Moose perks up at the end of the bed, realizing that Michael’s awake and excitedly makes her way up the bed to lick Michael’s face. Michael half-heartedly tries to bat her away, giving up and scratching her head when she starts to lick him even harder, tail wagging.

“Why do we have to be up so early?”

“The wedding’s today. We gotta get up and eat something. God knows how long everything is gonna be and when we’ll actually get to eat dinner.”

Michael looks at Calum, wide-eyed and confused. “You mean I’m awake and there isn’t even food yet?”

“I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.”

Michael whines, flopping onto his back and covering his eyes. Moose gives up her licking, snuggling down into the open space between Michael and Calum. Calum sits up, trying to shake feeling back into his arm.

“If you’re not up in 10 minutes I’m going to send Duke after you,” Calum says, getting up and scooping Duke up from where he’s been sitting at the end of the bed, head cocked to the side, watching them. Michael grumbles, waving his hand at Calum.

Calum sets Duke down once he’s made it to the kitchen, rummaging around to find something he can make that he knows Michael will like and will also stop him from getting hungry and cranky halfway through the ceremony. He sets about trying to make eggs and the tea that Michael’s taken to drink instead of coffee. He gives Michael 5 minutes before he sends Duke in to wake Michael up. He hears a shout from the bedroom and Michael stumbles into the kitchen mumbling that he’s up. Moose and Southy follow closely behind him, barking for breakfast.

Michael comes up behind Cal, dropping his head down into Calum’s shoulder, and wrapping his arms around Cal’s waist.

“Do you think Luke and Ashton will let me out of the wedding if I tell them I don’t feel good?”

“I think Luke would have a meltdown in the middle of the room and Ashton would immediately hunt you down and drag you to the wedding if you made Luke cry.”

“Can’t I go back to sleep? It’s not even 9am. Why do I have to be up so early?”

“We have a whole day ahead of us. We have to run interference on the set-up. Besides, if you had gone to sleep at a reasonable time instead of playing games all night you wouldn’t be so tired.”

Michael huffs lightly, burying his face into Calum’s neck, and pressing a gentle kiss to Cal’s shoulder. Calum tries to turn his head slightly to press a kiss to the top of Michael’s head and is only vaguely succeeding. Calum can feel Michael smile anyway where his face is still pressed to Calum’s skin.

Standing like this, curled up in each other and making breakfast, Calum is struck by how domestic it all feels. He’s been doing this with Michael for years ever since the guys moved from London to LA and bought separate places, but it strikes him in that moment how at home he feels doing this. Making breakfast for Michael while he whines about being up so early, getting ready to go see Luke and Ashton. Calum has never felt more comfortable or at peace than he does right now.

“Hey, Mikey?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever thought about getting married?”

Michael lifts his head to look at Calum, “You mean as a concept or as in ‘do I think about us getting married’?” Because my answer depends on the question,”

Calum frowns. Surely, Michael and he are on the same page. They’ve been together since they were fifteen and realized that “just friends” don’t have thoughts about kissing their friends and holding their hand (although 5sos may be unique. Luke’s been holding all of their hands since long before he and Ashton started doing it. He still does it, whining until someone grabs his hand and squeezes it). Calum’s thought about marrying Michael vaguely over the years, but they’d all been too busy between tours and albums to really talk about it. Now, they’re on a break between WWJ and releasing CALM. It’s the perfect time for them to sit down and talk about their future. Calum wants to get married. Wants to be able to wear a ring and show everyone that Michael is his and he is Michael’s. Get to gush about him in interviews and on stage. Get to kiss him in public. Calum thought Michael wanted that too, but now he’s unsure.

“You’re doing it again Cal.”

“Doing what?”

“Overthinking it. You’re doing that thing you do where you take my words and over analyze them until you’ve created the idea of what you think they are instead of just asking me. So, ask me the question properly this time.”

Calum takes a deep breath, “Have you, Michael Clifford, thought about marriage or marrying me?”

Michael smiles softly, “Of course I have, darling. As a concept, I think marriage is silly and the whole point of it is to have an excuse to throw a party and spend money and you shouldn’t need something big and flashy to tell your family and friends how much you love another person,” Calum’s heart sinks, “But marrying you? I’d do it tomorrow if you’d let me. I want to get up there and tell everyone how much you mean to me. That I want to spend the rest of my life with you, making you smile. I want you to get me up far too early in the morning and drink your too strong tea. I want to keep making music with you and writing songs about you and getting to stand on stage every night and tell everyone how much I love you. I want to have a wedding that’ll be better than Luke and Ashton’s because they don’t get to be cuter than us, we’ve been together longer. I want to get up there in front of everyone we know and tell them I want to spend everyday with you because you’re like another half of my soul and I can’t live without you. So yes, Calum Hood, I have thought about marrying you and I would love to do that.”

Calum turns back to the stove, blushing slightly. Michael always seems to know exactly what Calum’s thinking, what he’s feeling. It really does feel like they’re half of each other's souls. Calum is never alone if he’s got Michael there, telling him what sounds best in a song or what they should eat for dinner or what movie they should watch. He’s always had Michael, will always have Michael, but the idea of getting to publicly say it, to tell everyone how he feels, is overwhelming and comforting.

“Have you thought about marrying me?” Michael asks.

Calum pauses, “Every day since the first time we kissed I’ve thought about marrying you and what it would be like. I want to get up there and give a cheesy speech about how you mean the world to me, so that our moms will cry. I want to tell the whole world every night on stage about how you’re the love of my life. I want to listen to you play your games and yell at Luke when he makes you lose and get to wake up next to you all the time. I can’t imagine it would change our lives that much, but I want to do it. I want to get married.”

“Did you just propose to me?”

“Haven’t asked the question yet. I don’t even have a ring.” That’s a lie. Calum has had a ring since Ashton asked him to go ring shopping for Luke. It’s hidden inside one of the cases for Calum’s bass, where he knows Michael won’t go poking around. He even has a vague idea of how he wants to propose. He’s just waiting for their anniversary to roll around.

Michael hums lightly into Calum’s shoulder. “How long do you think we have to wait after the wedding to get engaged so Luke won’t say we did it on purpose to take away the spotlight?”

“Well, if I tell you it won’t be a surprise, now will it?” Calum says, smiling when Michael whines in response. “Besides I have to come up with something romantic to do. You said you didn’t want Luke and Ashton to be cuter than us. Now come on, the food’s ready and we have to start getting dressed.”

Calum manages to get Michael to eat something, to feed the dogs, and get them out the door with enough time to get to the wedding. It manages to go off without any issues and it isn’t until later, while Michael and Calum are sitting watching the first dance, that Michael leans over and says, “You know, if we have the dogs be the ring bearers we’d already win for cuter wedding.”

Calum huffs out a laugh and kisses Michael softly. “Only if you let Moose be the flower girl.”

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #malum #michael clifford #calum hood #my writing #i wanted cute and sappy wedding stuff so here you go #please enjoy maggie #calumsclifford

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hamonsurveysoverdrive · 4 years

Text

Abomination

Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? I mean, maybe?

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I don’t know.

Would you take the 3 minute beatdown to be in a gang? No thankssss. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Absolutely not.

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before? Justin has been mad at me multiple times lol.

Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? Yes.

How old do you look? Early to mid-20s.

Do you like movie nights? Always.

Is there a trampoline in your backyard? I don’t even have a backyard.

Does the thought of having children scare you? I already have two, so yes, the thought of having more sounds like a nightmare.

Are you nice to everyone? No.

Would you rather date someone older than you or younger? Justin is younger than me.

What will you be doing in the next 2 hours?

Probably driving home.

Who did you talk to on the phone last? Actual talking? I think the kids’ dad.

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment? Sometimes.

When you are home alone at night and hear strange noises, are you afraid someone is going to break in? Yes.

Do you wake up cranky? Sometimes.

What is on your wrists right now? A bracelet that says “Redrum” on it.

Are you a beach, country, or city person? City.

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? Yes.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? No.

Do you like someone? My boyfriend.

Are you happier now or three months ago? Now.

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? Nothing great has really happened.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? I was 19 when I had my first kid, 22 with my second.

Are you waiting for something? Sure.

If you could change your eye color would you? Maybe to grey.

What was the weather like today? It sunny and nice.

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? I hope not.

Does your ex still love/like you? Probably.

Are you stubborn? Oh yeah.

Do you tend to hold a grudge? Yes.

Where were you at 9am this morning? In bed.

How has the week been? It went by so fast!

Did you go out or stay in last night? I went to Justin’s house, so I’m not sure if that’s considered going out or staying in lol.

Something you do a lot? Worry.

How many states have you lived in? One.

Can you commit to one person? Yes.

Who was the last person to hold your hand? Justin, or one of my kids.

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? Way too many. Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? Yes.

What do you miss most about your ex? Nothing.

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Yes.

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? He’s an only child.

Something you really want right now? A million dollars.

How long have you liked the person you like? For about 3-4 years.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? My shoulders and neck, a little.

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? I assume not, since it was just me and him in his garage.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Now.

Are you happy with the way things are going? Yes.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Yes.

What plans do you have for tomorrow? Nothing in particular, I think.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? Nope.

Have you ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Yes.

Do you and your last ex hate each other? Nah.

When was the last time you were sick? Like a year ago.

Are you one of those people who are always cold? Not really.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? Yes.

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No.

When was the last time you got a haircut? In July.

Did you sing at all today? Yeah.

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? Weather.

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? Yes.

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Typing.

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? I probably wouldn’t go.

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? Love.

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? Neither?

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? Skinny.

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? No thanks.

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? The stands.

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? Mario.

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? Yes.

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? Kelsi’s birthday is six days before mine, Krystle’s is 6 months before, Needles is 5 months before, Carly’s is 10 months before.

Yes or no: Techno music? Nah.

Yes or no: pigtails? Nah.

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? I think that’s stupid.

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Yes.

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yepp.

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? Probably not.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? My high school boyfriend’s name was Phillip.

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? I talked to Justin, Krystle, and Carly.

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? Funny.

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? Yes.

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Yes. Most of my friends are his friends too.

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? I’d be very, very confused.

Your last relationship, who dumped who? I ended it.

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? 13.

Is your hometown nice? Some parts.

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? Ugh, I’d rather not.

When/where did your last hug take place? Earlier today, at my mom’s house.

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? I’m 31...

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? Yes.

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Justin.

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? Sure.

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? I know my boyfriend does, and obviously they’re returned.

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? Well, he’s already my boyfriend, so.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. No, that’s dumb.

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? Yes, like, in a room surrounded by millions of dollars, where it’s free for the taking?

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? Sure.

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? No.

What’s one thing about today that you didn’t like? Feeling nauseated.

Who is the last person that you said i love you to, besides family members? Probably Justin.

Are you mad at anyone right now? Nope.

Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? Sarcastic assholes who can carry a good conversation. And they all have daddy issues.

What’s a compliment you receive often? My eyes, my lips, or my hair.

Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yepp.

Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? No.

Who was the last person to comfort you when you were upset or crying? Probably Justin. Do you prefer to text or talk on the phone? Text.

Do you know anyone that’s gotten an abortion before? Yes.

Do you think you could forgive someone for cheating on you? Not anymore.

Have you ever been arrested? Yes.

Who’s the last person that gave you roses? Justin.

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? No. What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? NO THANKS.

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? Yes.

Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? Rey

Have you learned from your past mistakes?

Am I supposed to list everything I’ve ever learned for every mistake I’ve ever made, or...?

Who’s the last guy you texted? Justin... jesus this whole survey is becoming about him.

What about the last girl? Krystle & Kelsi in a group text.

Who was the last person to make you cry? Myself.

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Sure.

What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person? Honesty.

When was your first real relationship? Well, I don’t really count high school relationships as real relationships, so I guess when I was 20.

Have you ever cried over an ex? Yes.

Do you ever think about your ex and cry? Not anymore.

Is there anyone in your life who you won’t ever want to lose? Of course?? Have you ever snuck out of your house? Not really, no.

Have you ever snuck someone into your house? Nope.

Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes.

How many people have you kissed? Way too many to try and count.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done on a dare? Idk

Have you ever cussed someone out? Yes.

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yes.

Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits? Yes. Have you ever spread a nasty rumor about someone? Not intentionally.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Supposedly.

Have you ever been physically abused? Yes.

What’s something you really regret saying to someone? Nothing.

Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? I don’t think so.

Does it take a lot to make you feel guilty? No.

Have you ever broken a really important promise? Probably.

Have you ever gone out with a best friend’s ex? Yes.

Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend? Yes.

Have you ever cheated on a test? No, but I’ve helped others cheat.

Have you ever told someone’s deep, dark secret? No.

Do you ever lie to make yourself sound better? Not really.

Have you ever made up a false rumor to get back at someone? No.

Have you ever gotten in a fist fight? No.

Have you ever purposely hurt yourself? Yes.

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? Yes. Got sent to an alternative school because of it lol

Have you ever caused someone major embarrassment? Not major, no.

Have you ever pushed someone into a pool? Yes.

Have you ever got in a fight with someone and never made up? Yes.

Have you ever farted and blamed it on someone else? Yes lol

Have you ever copied someone else’s homework? Yes.

Have you ever skipped school to do something more fun? Yes.

Have you ever skipped school to get out of a test? No.

Have you ever kissed someone the same day you met them? Yes.

What’s under your bed? The banisters that are supposed to go on my bed, the ceiling fan is in the way.

What’s on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet? Games.

Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what’s in it? No.

Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about? Nope.

What is your last thought before you fall asleep? It varies.

Have you ever you shop lifted? Yes, in my angsty youth.

#surveys #survey #questions

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crickey-itsjake · 4 years

Note

Even numbers 10-20, odd numbers 13-19

Lol yikes but also I think I did a chunk of them I think

Already Answered: 10, 20, 13, 15, 17

12) Muses’ Mean Girl

I mean Alana punched Jake in the nose jk jk jk jk. Uh well, here’s the think Haley has not been treated with Ashley’s “Mean Girl” Mode. But perhaps if she is then sure. Uh, Mocha had a Boarding School hierarchy but she didn’t give any fucks so no one really messed with her, actually I think she was more on the popular side. Lol 6ft tall red headed Wendy for sure had a mean girl in the same vein of Pacifica Northwest just an older iteration. She hung out with some dope people they just were not on the popular side of things and didn’t really want to be either

14) Magick you like most

Well, fuck man. I’ve always been like real drawn to shapeshifters. Werewolves. Anything shifty. So I’ve got Mermaid with Ris and Dragon with Haley. But ever since I started into the fairies like I’ve been so into it. Give me culture. Give me dialect to learn. I will over use it all.

16) What thread not your own do you remember watching closely?

I stare at a lot of lauryl and pet’s threads and immediately message them. Mostly because I’m adjacent to whatever is happening.

See: Leighly Dreams, Adventure Cuz fights, Matcha talking in general

Also I read that Loud Bell para because didn’t we all

18) Plots PART THREE

Lol if u thought my shit was crazy before Idk what this is gonna be now but here you go

19) THREE MUNS FOR ALEX LOVIN’ PART THE SECOND

ahem hem ahem

Mckala

whew you a slaya

of a lot of different character types

and you deserve all the hype

You got the nerds, the anxiety people and the models

She brings on all those dope paras, and def don’t doddle

Lauryl

you, I adoryl

from your nerds to your crazies

you reply so consistently it makes me feel lazy

I wake up for that before 8 or 9AM hit

where I scroll through the dash to see all your queued morning shit

Lena

you a real queen-a

I mean literally you write one for a reason

My love for ur babes are evergreen through the seasons

Ur characters can cause me much pain

If Nyxion ever gets together I will cry so many tears fairies will think its rain

#mrsrcbinscn

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siyeonjisoo · 5 years

Text

Oookay. Long post in-coming. TL:DR is I saw the GazettE yesterday and while it was a really fucking long day, IT WAS AMAZING AND ALL WORTH IT AND I LOVE THEM AND MY FRIENDS <3 <3 <3

SO my day started at 3:50am when I woke up. got on a train at 5:17 in the morning to get to NYC by 7. I ended up being the 34th person in line. The folks at the front of the line had come straight from Dallas and started lining up at 4am which is both insane but awesome. I was waiting for the discord friends to show up and was the second one to show up. the line was originally along the front entrance of the building and all mixed. The business on the corner, however, really hates the lines being in front of their entrance so we actually got split from VIP and GA really early. I think it was like 9am when that happened and all of us who are familiar with how shit Playstation staff’s organization usually is were shook.

My friends and I had a great time hanging out all day long so I got no complaints, even though I sat my ass on a sidewalk in Times Square for 10 hours yesterday. We had ourselves organized and knew we were gonna be fine but Playstation staff showed their true identities by trying to fuck with it all day long. We all got in several shouting matches of them just going on power trips and us trying to explain that they don’t have to worry about us.

I also painted my nails at some point in line haha

Because we were so damn close to the doors, we could hear soundcheck from outside. They played Zetsu, Shadow VI II I, Sumire, and Bathroom and I was fucking crying so much then. Those were the first tears of the day, I think, but nowhere near the last. We were all freaking out over it.

A little bit after that, I went on a trip to use the bathroom (which was the last time I think I went before I got home at 2am lol. Held anything from like 3pm till then). We were going to the Hardrock Cafe for that so we had to walk from the alley tunnel where the VIP lines were around the block past the main entrance of Playstation. A staff member came walking out just as a car was pulling up with 3 men in the backseat. They all had light blonde hair and masks on. Staff hurriedly ushered them inside. I saw the eyes of one of the guys and I swear to god that it may have been Kai. It was after the soundcheck so unless staff did the soundcheck for them, they went out for lunch after and I saw them when they came back. Which is possible. So yeah, that may have happened.

We were allowed to go inside starting around 6:30 so we started organizing ourselves into the number order we had around 5 just so we could be ready when staff started letting us in. I was standing from 5pm then until like 9:45, after the concert ended. At 6:10, they started organizing us by letting us snake through to get our VIP bands and (if you were Heresy) other bracelets. We got like 25 people through that way and it was taking REALLY long so they gave up on that and sent the first bunch through. Because a lot of people weren’t there (either were GA given a # by accident or just not there) I ended up being within the first 20 to get inside.

I hit up the merch table to get a Reita bear and because of that, lost the chance to get the barricade but I still was in the 3rd row on the side that I wanted to be on. It was around 7 by then and we were all just waiting for everyone to get in. I talked with all the people around me and we all had a great time. At 8:02, the concert started.

Here is the setlist:

99.999

Falling

NINTH ODD SMELL

GUSH

Vortex

Venomous Spider's Web

THE MORTAL

SONO KOE WA MOROKU

DOGMA

The Suicide Circus

INCUBUS

UGLY

ABHOR GOD

Filth in the Beauty

encore

INSIDE BEAST

Cockroach

Tomorrow Never Dies

I managed to keep my spot in front of Reita in the 3rd row for the entire show, only moving like an inch or two away from center, toward Aoi. By the time Vortex happened, I definitely was not standing on my own feet but was being held up by the crowd and swaying all around with them. I had one foot on the ground to keep me, well, grounded, and was just being pushed back and forth with the crowd from then on. I don’t think I have been that covered in sweat in my entire life. My shirt was fucking drenched, thank goodness it was a thick material so the white didn’t become transparent at least haha.

The folks directly behind me were holding onto my shoulders and back to balance while headbanging and that pushed me forward and backward so I was headbanging better so thanks fam!

I also got a punch in the eye at one point and this was the thought process of my reaction (over the span of like 2 seconds): "oh no, i'm a daycare teacher! I can't have a black eye!" then "fuck it, I'm at a concert I don't care" then "wait it didn't even hurt that much why was I so dramatic". There was no damage and I was just being dramatic so enjoy laughing at me.

I was right in front of Reita so I got lots of him. He stuck his tongue out while making eye contact with me at one point. I saw heaven in that moment. He also kept doing this weird little waving thing with his hand throughout and it was really fucking cute and made me laugh while doing it back at him.

Ruki would also hop up in the area right in front of us, right on the edge of the stage, and after the first time he came there, I was on that one foot until the main set ended. Seeing Ruki’s dorky dancing in person, that close, is so funny. I laughed so hard every single time he did his little chicken neck dance thing. Can’t take him seriously when he does that.

Aoi was teasing all of us and being a handsome man. He also attempted to turn Sono Koe wo Moroku into a sexy song with how he was dancing there.

Kai and Uruha were on their side of the stage the entire time and I couldn’t see either of them very well but every time I did, they were breathtakingly beautiful and seemed to be having so much fun.

Main set ended around 9:08. We chanted back and forth between encore and gazetto for like 11 or 12 minutes before they came back on.

Aoi and Reita stayed in their costumes while Kai and Uruha had changed into tour shirts. URUHA LOOKED SO FUCKING SEXY IN HIS BECAUSE he had cut the sleeves off and the collar so it was a low v-neck style. Made his choker necklace stand out even more and HOLY FUCK IS THAT MAN SEXY. Kai took his microphone and yelled at us in English about how fucking awesome we were and it was so nice hearing him curse for some reason. I can’t explain why it was so nice to hear but it was. After that, they started a slightly elongated instrumental intro to Inside Beast before Ruki came out on stage and he also had not changed out of his costume.

The only time that Uruha came past the center onto my side was during Inside Beast I think. The only words I could think at that moment were “oh my god, that man is so beautiful”.

I knew that Tomorrow Never Dies was going to be the last song they played so as soon as Ruki started saying “last”, I started feeling like I was going to cry. But the problem with that was the fact that I had sweated out so much liquid that I had no tears. So I sobbed but without tears throughout that entire song. After that song, Aoi, Uruha, and Reita threw their pics into the crowd. One of Aoi’s landed like a foot or two to my left but either someone caught it and didn’t tell anyone or it got lost cause no one claimed to have caught it after.

Kai had his phone and took a picture from behind his drumset. I think it was a selfie with us in the background. Then he came down to the front, smiley as ever, and took some more pics of just us. I found myself. I’m in the purple circle here

We then all went up to the chairs in the back to wait for it to be M&G time. I would have been fine if my day had ended there, honestly, because it had already been amazing. But no, there was still more. It was like 9:30/9:40 when they started clearing the rows to go through. I was surprisingly calm about it because I was concentrating on my promise to a friend. She was behind me in line and I had promised to get Aoi to wish her a happy birthday since it is today, the day after the concert. So I focused on that and making sure I could say that to him instead of freaking out over anything else.

so the order was Aoi, Reita, Ruki, Kai, Uruha. one by one, here is what happened.

Aoi: he takes my hands and thanks me in English. I thank him in Japanese while marveling in how SOFT his hands are. Then I tell him, again in Japanese, about it being my friends bday tomorrow and asking him to say something. He looks at her and grins and nods to me. Reita is staring at me now and I almost froze having both of them looking straight at me at the same time.

Reita: I hand to him the card I wrote for all of them and he takes it while saying, in English, “For me?” and he sounded so cute. I corrected him and said it was for all of them and he nodded and thanked me, in Japanese, and I thanked him too. I kinda didn’t even notice that he wasn’t looking at me with two eyes because I was in so much shock.

Ruki: He gave me the softest smile as he took my hand in both of his. I thanked him and almost couldn’t let go of his hands. Not because of me, but because of him not wanting to let go. I think he saw my tattoo when we shook hands which makes me happy.

Kai: THIS MAN IS SO SWEET. I thanked him while we shook hands and this is kinda when I started losing my mind. I let go of his hands kinda fast but I told him, in Japanese, that he has an amazing smile and he tilted his head and smiled at me. Like just at me and my legs almost gave out under me.

Uruha: His hands. They are so big. And so soft. AND HE IS SO FUCKING HOT. I had completely lost my mind by then so he said thank you in English and I just couldn’t say anything else but thank you in English. My brain was goop.

I walked away from Uruha on shaky legs, got my VIP little towel, and then collapsed against a wall and started sobbing. 11 and a half years waiting for an opportunity to thank them, face-to-face, finally brought to an end last night and it all just crashed down on me in that moment.

My friend who was behind me came out crying and came straight to give me a hug and we just hugged and cried for almost a minute, just standing there. Aoi had wished her a happy birthday, as expected, but Reita did too. That’s why he had been staring at me while I spoke to Aoi lol.

I just wandered around with my friends inside the venue, trying to keep from sobbing completely because ain’t nobody need that kind of attention from a venue’s staff.

My friends all parted ways to go back to their respective Airbnbs or hotels while I started my lonely walk back to Penn station. But I was still kinda crying so I scanned the crowd of people also walking in that direction until I found people I recognized to be from this concert. Caught up with them and asked if I could walk with them for a little bit so I wouldn’t be a girl walking through the city, alone, crying, at night. We ended up stopping to get food together and chatting for like an hour before I had to head off to catch my train.

I cried literally off and on the entire way home. On the train, walking from train to car, driving home, every step of the way. I ended up being awake for a solid 22, almost 23, hours yesterday. My throat is still sore today. My neck hurts so much. My heart is so full of emotions that I am still so close to crying at any moment. All of the stress about the semester up until now? Worth it. All of my worries about finals? Gone. I met and spoke with (in Japanese) the human beings who inspired me to start learning Japanese in the first place. I will be graduating from college in 13 days as both a member of Sigma Tau Delta and cum laude. Not to be overdramatic or cringey or anything but I know for a fact that I would not be at this point in my life if I hadn’t found this band when I was 11.5 years old. 11.5 years later, this is what my life is like. I have the money to afford to MEET them. And the opportunity for it. Life can change so much. Like, if anyone ever needs a reminder that “it get’s better” this is it!

The first goal was just to see them in concert. That was ticked off the list in 2016 at their first world tour. The second was to meet them and be able to say “thank you” to them in person. That was ticked off the list last night. The new goal? get them all to autograph my arm, under where I have their logo, so I can get that tattooed as well. My entire left arm is going to be dedicated to bands that have shaped who I am so there will also be Miyavi tattoos and maybe even some Berryz Koubou tattoos there one day but for now, the goal is their autographs. So look out for that.

Also, check out all of my beautiful and lovely friends. I love them all so much and miss you all already!! (I’m the blondie grinning like a dork because I was so happy!)

#the gazette #ruki #reita #aoi #uruha #kai #nyc #phase 04 #world tour #playstation theater #my face #friends #memories #sixth guns #heresy #live report #reaction #goals

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taylorhardybby · 5 years

Text

Give you the world. // ben!Roger Taylor X reader

hi so this is my first ever queen imagine!! it was meant to be short but it ended up as 2.7K lol. enjoy. PLEASE REQUEST ILL WRITE ANYTHING JUST ASK

You had been with roger since your senior year of high school. You’ve had your ups and downs, but you’ve stuck together through it all. Queen had just recently finished a tour in America and the boys were already back in the studio writing and recording the next album.

You usually spent any day you could in the studio with the boys but today you were at home babysitting your 2-month-old niece. Your sister had just had her gorgeous little girl with her husband of almost a year, but he was working today, and your sister had a work function that she just couldn’t get out of. Your niece, Charlotte was the perfect baby. So, you spent the day making bottles, changing nappies and singing lullabies. It was almost 4 pm and Charlotte had tired you out. She had been screaming bloody murder for a good twenty minutes before falling asleep on your chest. You would have sighed of relief if it weren’t for the fear of waking the precious child.

You and Roger had spoken theoretically about having kids since you were teens. You would both laugh at the ridiculous names you both came up with and Roger would always promise to give you and your kids the world. You would never admit it to Roger but from the second your sister fell pregnant you felt an ache in your heart. You knew it was silly and Roger would never hurt your feelings intentionally but the thought of asking him and about and getting the “ it’s just not the right time y/n “ or something like that made you want to cry.

You lied down in your bedroom, Charlotte was fast asleep on the bed, surrounded by pillows and cushions.you had planned just to watch her, to ensure she didn’t wake but before you knew it your eyes fluttered shut.

Roger walked in and noticed just how quiet it was. He knew you had been watching Charlotte today and he smiled as he looked around. There were toys, blankets and bottles lazily placed around the house. But you and the baby were nowhere to be seen. He walked as softly as possible down the hallway to the bedroom.

He could have almost cried at the sight. You were fast asleep, Charlotte in your arms and soft snore coming from both your mouths. He walked forward, and the floorboards creaked, he saw your eyes flutter open and you smiled when you saw him.

“ hi baby, how was the studio” your voice was raspy, due to your much-needed nap but Roger swears he fell in love with you all over again at that moment.

“ it was good, my love, how have you been” by now Roger had moved over to the bed and was sitting on the edge. His flyers glistened in the golden glow of the sunset through the window.

You got worried, you could see his watery eyes “ rog, what’s wrong baby” you tried to move Charlotte out of your arms to comfort him, but he stopped you.

“ nothings wrong baby, jus- just seeing you with Charlotte got me thinking” his breath was caught in his throat, he was nervous.

“ what if we had a baby of our own” tears flooded your eyes.

“ really, you-you would do that for me. For us” Roger nodded

“ if that’s what you want baby. I’ll give you the world” he wiped the tears softly that had spilled down your cheeks. The beautiful moment was broken by the stirring of the baby in your arms and you held her to Roger.

He took Charlotte and walked out into the living room cooing and talking to the tiny child in his arms. You couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear.

You sister arrived not much later with a bunch of smiles and a million thanks. You told her it was nothing as she took her baby back and helped to gather Charlotte's things.

Later that night you were lying in Rogers' arms, the moonlight casting shadows across your bed. He placed soft kisses along your neck and whispered sweet nothings in your ear. In a moment of lust and love, you flipped yourself over and kissed in back passionately.

He saw the glint in your eye as you pulled back and sent him that smile, he loves so much.

“ rog baby, can you please put a baby in me”

“ I thought you’d never ask love”

For the weeks after that every spare second you and Roger went at it. Not that either of you minded. The boys noticed that’s something was up. You both declined all the invitations to go out and rog never stayed any later than he needed to at the studio. None commented on it assuming you had just missed each other after the tour.

It was exactly a month after babysitting Charlotte that you sat in your bathroom waiting. You had checked your calendar, you were late. You were late for almost four days. You didn’t tell Roger. Not until you were sure. So while he went to the studio you had walked down to the nearby pharmacy and bought every test you could find.

Those were the longest their minutes of your life. You tried not to get excited, just in case. But as you turned over the first one and the little pink cross was stared you in the eye bright as ever you cried. You check the rest and all of gave you the same answer.

Positive.

You were pregnant.

As much as you wanted to wait you had to call Roger.

It was Paul who answered the phone and you couldn’t have thought of a worse way to dull the mood.

“ I’m sorry y/n I can’t take the phone to him they’re working and must be interrupted” you were mad now. Really fucking mad.

“ so, help me god Prenter, if you don’t take the fucking phone to Roger this instant you won’t have a job tomorrow and you know I’m not lying” you heard him huff and rudely announce that you were off the phone and you refused to give him a message. Roger nearly punched him.

“Listen here asshole if my girl calls for me bring me the phone. I don’t care what I’m doing she’s more important than anything” his rant was crackly and through the phone, it made it hard to hear it but it wanted your heart like no tomorrow.

“ Hello baby is everything okay” you were still thinking about what he had said that you almost forgot why you were calling.

“ Oh, uh yeah everything perfect, how much longer do you think you’ll be today” Roger sighed, running his hands through his hair. Today was taking a long time, Freddie was being a perfectionist, and no one was doing anything right.

“ I’m sorry baby but I think today’s going to be a long one” you sighed, you needed to tell him but you also refused to do it over the phone.

“ Roger I really need to talk to you could you come home even just for an hour” you probably sounded pathetic

“ are you sure everything is okay love”

“ yes, rog please just come home”

“ I’ll be there in 15, I love you “

“ I love you too”. Relief washed over you. You had wanted this your whole life and you were so excited. You didn’t even want to wait the fifteen minutes until Roger got here.

Roger, on the other hand, was scared, what could possibly be so concerning that he had to come home to hear it. Had somebody died? Were you hurt and didn’t want to worry him? The boys were just as confused when he said he had to leave but he wasn’t sure why.

You were fluffing about. As silly as it was you quickly ran and put on a nice dress and fixed your hair. You were standing by the door when Roger Burst in.

“ what is it my love, are you sure everything is okay”

You had tears on your cheeks by a smile from ear to ear. You slowly moved your hand from behind your back, pregnancy tests in hand.

“ I’m pregnant” Roger stood their mouth wide open, shocking covering his face.

You yelled a little louder adrenaline running through your veins,

“ we fucking did it, baby, we made a baby” he practically runs to you pulling you into his arms. Your legs were wrapped around his waist and your lips smashed together. You pulled apart and your feet sat back on the ground.

“We really did make a baby” you had never heard Roger sound so proud. You could look at his face like this forever.

“ yeah rog, we made a baby” he pulled you into his arms again.

Once you both had calmed a bit, he Called the studio to let everyone know he couldn’t come back because something had come up. He couldn’t even be mad at the vulgar comments the boys made. He wanted to tell them so bad, but you wanted to see a doctor first. Just to be sure.

The next day when Roger was late to the studio everyone was worried. Maybe something had happened. The boys normally met at about 9am and it was 11 and no one had heard anything from either of you.

So, they started without Roger, and at 11:30 you two walked into the studio hand in hand and a smile on both your faces.

Freddie noticed you first.

“ decided to grace us with the presence I see” you knew he wasn’t too mad due to the cheeky smile.

“ sorry about this boy but I promise it was for a good reason” Roger just held you and nodded, looking like he was going to burst.

Freddie, Brian and John just kinda stared at you two. Surprisingly John spoke up

“ come on then out with it” they all watched expectedly.

“ y/n’s pregnant”

They all started cheering and throwing congratulations around like confetti.

As the weeks went on y/n’s belly grew as did the love for the little baby. You visited the studio almost every day and almost all anyone could talk about was your baby. At this point, you thought maybe they were more excited than you were.

Once the excitement died down reality sunk in. Of a morning, noon and night, you were almost always sick, at first you tried to hide it from Roger but when you almost threw up on his drums one day he was always a there to hold your hair.

The sickness eventually calmed down, but muscle aches and pains were there to replace it. Roger was the sweetest through your entire pregnancy. You hated putting your issues on him, but he was nothing but an angel.

“ baby you’re literally growing our child in your stomach for nine entire months, the least I can do is look after you”

From day one the boys wanted to know the name. You and Roger wanted to keep it as a surprise as well as the gender but that one got out a little early.

You and Roger had known the gender of your baby for almost two weeks and it was killing the rest of the band that they didn’t know.

You were sitting on the couch in the studio absentmindedly flipping through baby magazines. When Freddie came and sat beside you,

“ so y/n I want to throw you a baby shower but I need Colours”

You were too in your own world to even hear what Freddie was saying until he poked you and asked again,

“ pink Fred”

“ it’s a girl” you ears perked at that.

Freddie jumped up running into the studio shrieking “ it’s a girl”

Roger just laughed and nodded once Freddie explained how he found out.

It was now getting to the end of your pregnancy. It had been the longest 9 months of your life, but you wouldn’t change it for the world, you had been nesting intensely.

The nursery had been set up and your baby girl was set for life after the baby shower Freddie had thrown for you. It was almost as big as his usual parties and you didn’t even know half the people in the end, but you didn’t mind. You didn’t care who was there because you spent the entire time in Rogers arms surrounded by those you loved the most.

In the last few weeks before your due date, you had been skipping out on the studio and staying home. Roger had been trying to stay home but the album deadline was fast approaching, and your pregnancy had been a major distraction. Not that anyone cared.

It was exactly 3 weeks before your due date when you woke up in the middle of the night. It wasn’t unusual for you to wake to pee but something in your gut gave made you think tonight was different. You were right. As you stood up out of bed and took a step you felt the gush of liquid down your legs.

“ Roger” your voice was as quiet as a mouse and you heard him stirring, his raspy, sleep voice filled with concern.

“is everything okay”

“my water just broke”

“Oh, shit” Roger sat up and started moving so fast you could have sworn he was on something. All could do was try to get changed out of your saturated pyjama pants and make yourself mildly presentable. All while Roger ran around the house asking a million questions and freaking out. You called out to him and he came straight to you.

“is everything okay, I have the car packed do we go to the hospital” you cut him off with a kiss and you felt him relax into you.

“Roger relax, its fine we are going to get in the car and drive safely to the hospital. These things take hours okay” he nodded before his eyes lit up “I have to call Freddie, he would kill me if I don’t” you just laughed and told him you would make your way to the car.

You had never seen Roger drive so slow in his life, he was being so perfectly careful. Until you started groaning. The first contraction and it hurt like a bitch. Then it was like a switch had been flipped and he started driving so fast you were scared if he braked too hard the baby might just fall out.

By 9 am the next morning you were still weren’t fulling dilated. Freddie and Mary had come at about 7 and had been with you ever since. The doctors were due to come to check on you again any minute and you were begging and praying that they said it was time

At 9:56 That morning you heard the first ever cry of your baby girl. You had been squeezing Rogers’ hand so hard you thought it might be broken, the doctor placed your baby on your chest and you were an emotional wreck. Roger kissed you telling you how great you’ve done and when you looked up at him he kissed you again before mumbling, “marry me please Y/N I love you more than you could ever know, I want to give you the whole world” your sobs continued and you couldn’t stop nodding, you managed to gasp out a yes before kissing Roger again.

Once you and the baby were cleaned up roger went outside to get everyone. The tears started flowing again as you saw everyone walk in. Mary was holding a bunch of flowers, your favourite, of course, Freddie was carrying an entire basket of what looked like baby clothes, Brian was carrying a small pink teddy and deaky was carrying what looked like two coffees and a brown bag. You hoped it was a muffin. You were fucking starving.

They all congratulated you and Roger, and you looked at Roger who was holding the now sleeping newborn,

“Mary, boys please meet Violet Grace Taylor” they all started cheering before you shushed them and pointed to Violet.

You couldn’t help but smile, Roger promised you the world, but you already had it.

#bohemian rhapsody imagine #Queen x reader #rogertaylor x reader #Roger Taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #my writings

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embracehappy · 6 years

Text

Take a Day Off | Shawn Mendes Imagine

a/n: So I wrote this about 2 months ago, roughly based in reflection of an event that had happened another 3 months before then, my first panic attack. You might be able to tell by the insane amount of RANDOM details that this wasn’t really intended to be shared. But for some reason I feel very compelled to share it. That night, all I wanted to do was text a friend and ask for help. But I didn’t. Anxious thoughts and fear winning. I was so afraid, it took me along time to open up to anyone about this, and I didn’t start getting better until I did. So, have this little thing. It helped me feel better 2 months ago when I wrote it, and the end still makes me smile now. That’s why I’m sharing it, if it can help just one person, then I’ve done well. I wish that I would have just told someone what I was going through and sought out help, that way someone could have told me what Shawn tell’s Y/N, instead of me taking months to come to that conclusion myself. SO: If you’re going through something, anything, and don’t know who to reach out to, please know that my inbox/chat messaging is always open for you 💖

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica}

Warnings: EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING!! PANIC ATTACK!!! I marked the VERY sketchy stuff with *********s. SO it is possible to read around the possibly triggering material and just read the set up and the fluff/message at the end. If you want to avoid ALL possibly triggering material, just skip to the end and start at the second “Y/N’s POV.”

word count: 2035

Y/N’s POV:

It was even finals yet. You still had another month to go. You’re wrapped up in a blanket surrounded by your textbooks. As you sit at your desk, you can’t help but notice that your watch reads 3am.

You’ve been trying to do this Latin homework for 5 hours. It’s only supposed to take about 2 hours.

For some reason you just weren’t in the mood to read Horace’s poetry. No matter how much you stared at the paper, you were still only 5 lines into a 25 line poem.

Your class is at 9am and you know that your Professor is going to kill you if you come into class without your homework done again.

It’s just one of the downfalls of going to a small, private, liberal arts college. Your 9am Latin class only has four students in it. And they ALL stare at you every time you walked into class tired.

You have been consistently getting only about five hours of sleep every night, if you even sleep. But, you can’t help it. Ever since you had caught that really bad flu in February, you haven’t had any motivation.

But tonight was different. You just didn’t feel “right” in any sense. You had already called your boyfriend twice.

Once, when you started your homework at 10pm, and then again at midnight. Both times a groggy Shawn lifted his head off his pillow and squinted into the screen.

The first time you called, he perked up and turned the light on. He did his best to motivate you.

He is usually was always successful at this. He would ask you questions like: “Tell me again why you love Classics” and you’d smile and go into long explanations about linguistics and philology. Then he’d give you that cute grin of his and say “well, go show that to your professor” as he hung up.

But tonight. Tonight it didn’t work. You had no motivation to do anything but sit.

You called him again at midnight. He was less responsive. He was barely able to keep his eyes open. You didn’t mind. You enjoyed just looking at him and watching him fall in and out of sleep. He had the cutest sleeping face, when all his muscles relaxed and his mouth hung open just a smidge.

It had been 3 hours since you talked to Shawn. It’s not that you were clingy, but tonight you just really needed your boyfriend. He’s 45 minutes away though, in his apartment building on his own campus. Shawn goes to the state school nearby. Today, he had a big day with a formal presentation in his business class. He had stayed up the entire previous night trying to prepare for it. You know he is stressed and really don’t want to add to the pressure that’s already on him. This semester has just been so draining for you though.

You catch yourself staring off into nothing, lost in thought again. You blink three times and then look down at your paper.

**************************************

You can feel your chest tightening. But you try to ignore it. You get another half line done.

Suddenly, when you go to take a deep breathe, you can’t. Your breathing becomes quick and shallow. You feel like the walls are caving in around you. Your mind is racing. However, you don’t know what it’s racing about, it just is. You can’t think clearly. Your vision gets fuzzy and you are now seeing spots.

You are scared.

You have this burning desire to get away from your desk. You try to stand up, grabbing your phone off your desk, only to immediately sink onto the floor. You crawl across your bedroom, with your blanket still wrapped around you.

You finally give up trying to move once you are next to your radiator. As you lay there on your floor, in the fetal position, wrapped in your blanket, all you want to do is cry.

You feel the warmth coming off of the radiator and you try to wiggle closer to it, craving its comfort. Tears are gently streaming down your face now.

You aren’t sure why you’re crying. But you are.

You feel hopeless.

In a brief moment of clarity, you have the only thought that has seemed coherent in the last 30 minutes. You text your boyfriend.

To: Mine <3: help me.

To: Mine <3: please.

You know he’s probably sleeping and won’t see your texts till morning. But you feel a little better, despite the fact that you are still silently sobbing to yourself on the floor.

You don’t know how long it’s been, but you haven’t received a message back from Shawn.

Focusing on trying to take study breathes, you let yourself drift into sleep.

*******************************

__ Shawn’s POV:

You feel your phone buzz against the mattress. You really don’t want to check it. It’s probably just Y/N saying she finished her homework. You roll over ignoring the text. It’s been about a half hour. But, no matter how hard you to try to relax, you just can’t sleep. Something is nagging at you.

You decide to check your phone.

From: Baby <3: help me.

From: Baby <3: please.

You laugh to yourself. Y/N knows that you don’t know anything about Latin. There is no way that you can help her with her homework.

You reply.

To: Baby <3: lol wish I could baby. I definitely don’t know anything about Latin. Sorry xx

You wait for a reply. Usually when you text her while she’s doing homework she replies quickly, excited for any form of distraction.

No reply. You wait 10 minutes.

To: Baby <3: Hey, you ok? Did you get it done?

Waiting another 15 minutes and still no reply.

This isn’t like Y/N. You try to tell yourself that it’s fine.

Y/N probably just turned her phone off in an attempt to focus. Or maybe she fell asleep?

But no matter how hard you try, you just can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

Climbing out of bed you begin looking for a shirt and your car keys.

Your apartment is a good 45 minutes away from her college, but you don’t care. You need to see her, make sure she’s alright.

Throwing the car into park, you notice that you did the drive in only a half hour.

You were really lucky. Someone was exiting her dorm building right as you got to the door. So, you just slipped inside when the door was open, no need to call up.

You are now running up the stairs and down the halls. You can finally see her door come into view. You stop right outside, not sure if you should knock or not.

You know that if she’s in her room it’ll unlocked, but out of curtesy you should probably give her warning.

You decide on a really soft knock, just enough to alert anyone inside that you are there.

You try the knob and it’s unlocked. You then peek your head into the room. And then you see her.

Her small frame curled even smaller into a little ball on her floor. She was wrapped in a blanket but you can see that she is shaking.

Slowly, you enter the room, shutting the door behind you. You try whispering her name. But she does not respond.

You can hear silent whimpers coming from her mouth. As you get closer you see that she is asleep, crying in her sleep.

“oh baby” you coo.

You follow you instinct and reach down to her, resting your big hand on her thin back. She immediately stops whimpering.

You lay down next to her, basically spooning her. You wrap your arms around her blanketed body and pull her tightly into your chest.

She is still shaking, but at least now she is no longer crying.

__ Y/N’s POV:

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Your alarm is going off.

You open your eyes and you see that your face is almost touching your radiator. Shawn is there, holding you tight.

You had heard him whisper your name when he came into your room last night. You thought it was a dream.

When you felt the strength of his hand against your back, you realized that he was actually there. You still feel like you are crying, but at least now it isn’t as bad as before.

Last night, when you felt his arms wrap around your center and his warm body against your back, you were finally able to breath for the first time.

Now you’re on your floor, reaching for your phone. You feel Shawn nuzzle his face into your neck. His arms tightening.

You flip your body so that you face him.

His eyes flutter open and you can see the green flakes in his hazel eyes. His beautiful eyes are laced concerned.

“How are you?” He says.

“I’ve been better, ever since you got here”

“but, how are you? What happened?”

“I… I don’t know…” You feel your lungs beginning to clinch, almost making you short of breath again. “I was doing my homework and then I couldn’t breathe, or see, or think. And then I was on the floor.”

“Sounds… like you had a panic attack?” He croaks.

“I don’t know…” You say as you fail to meet his eyes. Your gaze dropping low

“Hey” Shawn says, gently touching your chin, lifting your face to his. Your eyes meet. “It’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I know it was probably really scary, but it’s over now, you have nothing to be afraid of.”

His eyes are soft and encouraging. You’re blinking back tears.

“I was so afraid, Shawn. I didn’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay. I know you were afraid. I’ve been there” He whispers to you.

“You’ve… You’ve- ?”

“Yeah, I had my first panic attack about 1 year ago, about 8 months before I met you.” He says looking off into the distance. “I was going through some stuff, dealing with some anxiety. It was a pretty dark time for me.”

“How did you get out of it?” you say, realizing that he said first panic attack, meaning that he has experienced others as well.

“Well, I met you. And you inspired me. You were fearless and unstoppable. That’s when I realized that I could be too. It wasn’t in my blood, the anxiety, I could overcome it… It also helps that I called my dad and told him what was going on.”

Shawn’s gaze had momentarily flicked away during his last sentence. But now, Shawn is looking at you with adoration in his eyes. You can feel the pride seething out of him.

You can’t help but give a weak smile up to him.

Shawn continues “mental health is a big thing. It’s important to make sure you’re okay. When was the last time you took a day off?”

“a day off from what?” you question. “There’s no such thing as a day off in school? That’s not how this works.”

You phone is going off again, alerting you that you have 20 minutes until your class starts.

Shawn reaches over and turns it off, handing the phone to you.

“email your professors and tell them what’s going on. Let them know that you won’t be in today, you’re taking a mental health day,”

You stare up at Shawn in simultaneous confusion and awe.

Is it really that easy?

You don’t argue, doing as he said. You know that you desperately need a day off, even if you have to skip your classes.

“done” you say looking back up to Shawn. “now what?”

“Now…” He says pulling you close to him. “we are going to move to your bed, so you can actually rest comfortably. And then after you’ve properly slept in, we’re going to order take out and watch movies all day. Maybe even take a bubble bath?”

“But I have homework...”

“It’s called a day off, Y/N. No homework allowed. Just focus on relaxing. We can deal with the world tomorrow. Today, our only task is helping you start to feel better.”

#shawn mendes #shawn #mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes fanfic #panic attack #anxiety #help #shawn mendes in my blood #this calms me down i hope its not too triggering im sorry if it is #embracehappy #takeadayoff

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kpopidolsarehumanstoo · 6 years

Text

“Going Out” Xu Minghao (the8): Drabble

Pairing: Xu Minghao (seventeen) x male reader

Genre: Fluff with no plot lol

Relationship with reader: Theyve been dating for about a year now.

Quick Summary: Seventeen was given a much needed week off, Minghao decided to celebrate it with (m/n).

Warning: Cursing, It gets quite steamy at the end.

A/N: Please dont go too hard on me this is my first time posting a creation of mine here in tumblr dkhjgilhsrlgsdlvbns. Anyways thankyou to the people who supported me to post something Yall makin me UWU. Im actually shocked I got support heheh. So here is sum mediocre shit for yall lol. I hope that yall somehow like it.

Words: 1174

Today was your lazy day. Being the absolute lazy slob that you are your room was littered with trash, mostly potato chips, and some stray popcorn from your movie night with friends last night. Your friends left long ago and here you are laying on your bed waiting for some seventeen updates from every possible social media platform.

For some reason Minghao hasn’t messaged or called you. Which was weird considering that hes the type of person to update you on everything, (everything including stolen photos of the members, you were sworn to secrecy). Your mind started pointing out all the possibilities, maybe hes drunk, maybe he was so tired he fell asleep early, maybe him and Mingyu did something stupid that led to Woozi killing them. A lot of possibilities, hopefully not the last one.

You felt defeated, tired of waiting. You stood up, about to go to the kitchen when all of a sudden your phone rang. You saw the caller ID and immediately swooped down and answered.

“Are you still alive?” You calmly said to the phone.

“Good morning to you too Baobei.” He answered.

“So what happened last night?” You asked.

You went downstairs to prepare yourself breakfast, You tried to find something but soon enough you just decided for an apple since you didn’t feel like cooking.

“The manager decided to give us the week off!” It was evident on his voice that he was really excited. He has missed you quite a lot and he just wanted to shower you with love.

“That’s amazing! Will you be coming here?” You were ecstatic.

“You see.. about that.” Your face was immediately replaced by a scowl.

“Don’t bail on me bitch.”

An exaggerated gasp was heard from the other side. “I would never. How dare you think so lowly of me.” The bitch started fake crying and you just had to roll your eyes. You sat down to your couch and turned on the TV.

“Spill.”

“I was kinda maybe thinking we should I don’t know go out on a date or something.” He said acting all cute.

“Sure.”

“Sure? What do you mean sure?! I was so scared to ask you out on a date and you just answer with sure?? m/n Istg I’m gonna choke you when we see each other again.”

“Dude.” You sighed.”Weve been dating for almost a year. Weve had sex, yet youre still afraid of taking me out on a date? How does that make sense?”

“Fuck you m/n.”

“Sorry, I don’t feel like being a bottom right now.” You smirked.

“Bitch.” he breathed out.

“Back at you.”

There was a quietness that enveloped the both of you. The both of you having a sense of calmness listening to each others breaths was enough to make the both of you happy.

With Minghao being an idol, the both of you rarely see eachother, so the lack of physical contact was compensated with listening to each other.

Many people found it weird that the couple would simply listen to each other breathe without a word spoken. Seungkwans mind could simply not comprehend why the couple did that. I mean you couldn’t really blame him, I mean Seungkwan never keeps his mouth shut while talking to Vernon.

The both of you liked it this way. Because sometimes, Silence speaks louder than words.

“So where are we going?” You said breaking the peaceful silence that the both of you established.

“Well I booked us a private area at that fancy restaurant by the bay.”

“Nice Ive always wanted to go there. Apparently their lobsters are amazing.”

“I booked us at 9pm so we have to go there at around 8:30.“

You turned around to look at the clock.

“Its like 9am right now. We still have a lot of time, you should come here. I miss you.”

“Ill be there at around 10 ok?”

“Sure”

And with that you ended the call. 10 am is still quite a long way to go so you started to busy yourself with cooking the both of you Brunch.

Just as you finished preparing your meal the door bell rang and you opened it only to be jumped on by Minghao. The both of you stumbled on the floor but he didn’t care and sat on your lap.

“I missed you so much baobei!!!” He said while peppering you with kisses all around your face.

“Missed you too dude.” The kisses immediately stopped and he got off you.

“Seriously? I call you baobei and yet you call me dude?” He said while putting on a pouty face.

“Aww what a cutie my baby is.” You cooed trying to pinch his cheeks but he evaded and sat on your couch and continued pouting like a child.

You see that he just wants your attention so you went to the pouty Minghao, hugged him, and started to cuddle with him on the couch with him being the small spoon and you the big spoon. You missed his warmth, it was moments like this that made you all fluffy and you just want to protect this smol bean. You took a whiff of his cologne, the smell that had you fall for him.

“I’m not gonna talk to you until you give me a pet name other than dude.” He said through his pout.

You pulled him closer.

“What do you want me to call you?” You said while comfortably listening to his breathing.

Suddenly Minghao turned around to face you. The both of your breaths intermingled and you were starting to blush. His eyes bore deep into you, those eyes that you could stare at forever. His face always mesmerized you, he looked so aggressive and mean but in reality he was the sweetest thing you could ever meet. Your heart starts to beat faster as you thank the heavens above for giving you such a beautiful person.

“I want you to call me baobei.” He said in a whisper.

He leaned in and took your lips unto his. The kiss was sensual and slow, the both of you trying to savour each second. Your pace started to quicken as you change your position on top of him. He started to give himself to you and you start to assert dominance as you continue to travel lower to his collarbone. You stopped and looked at him.

He was utterly beautiful. With Minghao breathless and desperate you were just in awe at how amazing he looked. You kissed his lips once more.

“I don’t think Ill be able to call you baobei. Too much mouth work.” You spoke as you sucked his collar bone and he releases a small moan in return.

“True.” He said breathless. “You should put that mouth somewhere else.” He said with a sly grin. You smirked in return and slowly unbuttoned his shirt.

“Lets continue this in my room.” You said suggestively.

“Gladly.” The both of you went upstairs and proved to each other how much you missed one another.

A/n: That’s it guys its finally done. My first drabble. Please tell me what you think about its my first time UwU. It was supposed to be fluff but it ended up quite steamy lol. But I honestly aint mad. Like it turned out quite good. Please support me \ ^o^ /.

Baobei means baby in chinese UwU.

#kpop x male reader #minghao x male reader #seventeen x male reader #male reader #kpop #seventeen #minghao #xu minghao #the8 #the8 x male reader #fluff

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scuzmunkie · 6 years

Text

Love is Blind: Chapter 1

A/N: Ok my lovelies, here’s chapter 1. Again, this is my first time posting on tumblr so be gentle with me.... I bruise easily lol. This is a slightly AU, Seth, Dean, Roman and Renee still end up with the WWE. I’ve tried doing as much research as possible when it comes to the blind community. Also the ‘Amanda’ character is supposed to be Amanda Palmer. If you haven’t heard of her you should check her out!! I tell you this because it pertains to the story. I’ll try my hardest to do weekly updates!! Please let me know if there are any mistakes!! I tried tagging everyone who asked!! If I missed you please lmk asap!! Enjoy!!

Seth Rollins x Blind OC

Word Count: 3000+

Warnings: Swearing, a small altercation, talk of parents fighting, talk of a parent leaving.

Summary: Seth was Lily’s world, she was foolish enough to think that she was his. That is until he leaves her behind in pursuit of his dreams. What happens when fate throws them together again years after the heartache and tears? How can Lily see past the pain of the past when she can’t see at all?

+++

“Are you sure you really wanna go to school here?!” Amanda asked as she helped Lily unpack the last of her boxes.

Lily couldn’t help but laugh at the whine in Amanda’s voice. “I’m very sure, not only does it have one of the best music programs but I also have a full ride scholarship so.... yeah Ms. Palmer, I’m staying.”

Amanda and Lily had been thick as thieves since the first grade when Amanda poured her chocolate milk on a second grader who had been picking on Lily.

“What about the area? It’s totally foreign to you! How will you learn it with out me?!”

“I’ll take daily walks, plus I have Siri.” She said holding up her iPhone.

“Ok... what about your classes?! Who will show you around?!”

“Nice try, the dean has already assigned someone to show me around. Next?”

Amanda was stumped, she wracked her brain for any and every excuse to keep her best friend from staying.

“Well.... what about me?! What the hell am I supposed to do without you?! Ya selfish piece of crap!!” She asked in desperation, hoping that good ol’ guilt would keep Lily by her side.

Giving Amanda a reassuring smile, she held out her hand. Amanda took the outstretched limb and was engulfed into a tight hug.

“I’ll miss you too, Mandy. Truth is, you’re going to do great things with your life!! I mean, you and Brian are gonna go far!! I can see it now, ‘The Dresden Dolls are the first music group to win 20 Grammies in one night!’ You’re gonna be famous!” Lily proclaimed as she held Amanda. Her smile faltered when she heard the unmistakable sound of sniffing.

“Oh Manda-Bear, please don’t cry! I’m only a call away!”

“I know but it’s not the same... I know that it seems like I take care of you a lot but in reality you’ve always had my back! How will I survive without my Lily-Pad?”

By now both girls were blubbering messes when Lily’s phone went off. She quickly cleared her throat and answered.

“Hello?” She asked, proud that her voice didn’t break.

“Hi, Lily Adams?”

“Speaking, may I ask who’s calling?”

“Of course! I’m Renee Young, I’ve been assigned to be your campus guide for the next few days.” Lily let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She was relieved that the voice on the other end sounded cheerful and sincere.

“Oh yes, hi! Thank you for taking the time to help me out. I promise I’m a fast learner so you won’t have to worry about spending too much time with me!”

Amanda reached over and gave Lily a firm pinch on her arm.

“Ouch!”

“Are you ok?!” Renee asked, slightly worried.

The red head scowled at her friend, well tried to at least. “I’m fine, just stubbed my toe.” She quickly answered while flipping Amanda the bird.

“Stop thinking you’re a burden!” Amanda whisper yelled.

“Oh sorry about that. Ok, Dean Anderson already gave me your address so I’ll swing by your place tomorrow morning around 9am to pick you up and start the tour! I’ll take you to where all your classes will be, the best hangouts and show you all the sights- er, sorry I mean, um”

“That sounds great! I’m so excited, thank you so much!” Lily answered trying to reassure Renee that there was no harm done.

“Ok, I’ll call you tomorrow before I pick you up! See you, I mean, talk to you then! Bye!!”

“Bye!”

Lily laughed, she could’ve sworn she heard Renee cuss before hanging up.

“Let me guess, she said something she felt was totally insensitive and started freaking out?” Amanda piped in once Lily set her phone down. She could hear the sarcasm dripping from her friends mouth.

“Be nice, it’s not everyday people meet someone like me. She was just trying to be polite. Now, what are the chances of you helping me decorate?”

“Hmm... buy me pizza and a beer and I’ll be your very own Martha Stewart!”

About two pizzas and four and a half beers later Lily and Amanda had almost everything put in its place, there was just one last detail.

“Do you remember when you got that?” Amanda asked as she watched Lily open the last box and gently run her fingers over the old keyboard.

“Of course, it’s one of my favorite memories. I scraped and saved for months only to have you surprise me by buying it for my birthday.” She smiled at the memory as she pulled it out while Amanda assembled the stand and small bench that came with it.

“It’s gonna be weird not having you play for me on stage anymore.” Amanda said with a sigh. Lily hugged her for the hundredth time that night.

“I know but you’re just as good at playing the piano as I am if not better. Plus people totally dig an artist who can sing and play at the same time!! I mean, Elton John does it and the audience eats that shit up!”

“I do like Sir Elton.” Amanda said earning a giggle from Lily.

They settled on Lily’s bed and spent the remainder of the night talking until sleep inevitably took them both.

—-

“Well, I guess this is it.” Amanda said trying hard not to cry.

“Oh my gosh, I’m not dying, we’ll see each other again!!”

The two girls held each other for what felt like an eternity.

“Ugh, ok, I’ve got a flight to catch and you’ve got a campus tour in an hour!! Scoot that cute tush back to your room. I’ve already laid out an outfit for you, complete with your favorite pair of aviators and I placed your cane right next to your clothes!”

“You spoil me too much. Thank you so much tho! I love you so m-much. Damn it!! I almost made it through th-that with out crying.” Lily said as she felt the dam begin to break. She felt Amanda run her thumbs on her cheeks wiping the tears away.

“I love you too, baby cakes.” Amanda began to walk away but turned abruptly and cupped Lily’s cheeks and whispered “Remember, you’re not just a blind girl, you’re an amazing badass who doesn’t take shit from anyone! Say it!”

“I’m a badass.” Lily mumbled.

“What?”

“I’m a badass!”

“Come again?”

“I’M A BADASS!!!” She yelled out, praying that her neighbors didn’t hear her.

“Hell yeah you are!”

With that Amanda kissed her on the forehead and went on her way. Lily counted the steps as she heard her best friend walk out of her new home. Before she could become a sobbing mess she heard her phone ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hi Lily, it’s Renee, just calling to let you know that I’ll be there in about 45 minutes.”

“Perfect, thank you again!!”

“No problem!! Bye!”

“Bye”

Grateful for the distraction, Lily sprang into action, quickly throwing on her clothes and aviators. With one hand she ran her fingers through her hair while the other felt around for her cane. Just as she straightened it out she heard a knock at the door.

“Coming!” She shouted as she felt for her phone and purse. “Ok Lily, you can do this, twenty one steps from your room to the door.”

Opening the front door to her apartment she was greeted with a soft sent of a sweet floral perfume.

“Hi!! I’m Renee!” She said eagerly stretching her hand out, rolling her eyes when she realized that Lily couldn’t see her gesture and gently took her hand giving it a friendly shake.

“Nice to finally meet you!” Lily said with an excited smile.

“Same here, shall we?”

“Lets.”

—-

By the end of the tour Renee and Lily had talked a lot and formed a friendship in no time. Renee transferred here from Canada and was majoring in journalism. She was currently in a relationship with one of the students on the wrestling team named Dean Ambrose. They walked arm in arm towards the final stop of the day.

“And this is where you’ll most likely be spending a lot of your time.” Renee said as she led Lily to the music department. There she showed her all of the practice rooms, the majority of them equipped with pianos.

“I can’t thank you enough for showing me around! I’ve had so much fun!” Lily said giving Renee’s arm a gentle squeeze.

“Oh, it’s no problem at all! I had fun to-HEY!” Lily gasped as she felt Renee’s arm being pulled from her grasp.

“Well, well, well,” said a deep, raspy voice “what do we have here?” Lily began to panic, it was bad enough that she couldn’t see what was happening, but she hated feeling useless! She frantically reached into her purse and pulled out her cane. She had put it in there once Renee took her arm. Before she could start swinging aimlessly, she heard Renee giggling.

“Damn it Dean! You scared the hell outta me!”

“I’m sorry doll, but you know I can’t resist sweeping you off your feet.” He chuckled.

Calming her breathing and lowering her cane, Lily began to notice the details about Dean. He smelt like leather and cigarettes with a subtle hint of soap, telling her nose that he had just recently showered. She was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of them kissing. She scrunched her nose and giggled before she could stifle it.

Renee quickly pulled away from Dean.

“Sorry, Lily, this is my boyfriend Dean, Dean meet Lily! She’s starting here this semester!”

Dean looked Lily over, taking notice of her sunglasses and cane. Putting two and two together he reached for her hand, giving it a quick shake. Lily smiled, shaking his hand back as she felt the calluses on his hand.

“Welcome darlin’. “

“Thanks, nice to meet you. Renee told me you’re a wrestler?”

“Yes ma’am, you a fan?” He asked while Renee gently elbowed him.

“Ouch, what was that for?” He asked totally, missing Renee’s hand signals trying to quiet him.

‘She can’t see, why would she be a fan of wrestling?’ She mouthed.

Lily, sensing the awkwardness, spoke up in hopes of easing the tension.

“I am actually.”

If she wasn’t blind, she’d see both their heads snap in her direction, mouths agape. After a few seconds, Dean finally broke the silence.

“I don’t mean to sound like a dick, but how exactly? I mean it’s kind of a watching sport.”

“Well, believe it or not, each move has a distinct sound. My mom and I used to watch wrestling on tv together. My best friend Amanda and I also frequented the local indie circuit back home. She’d give me a play by play but most of the time I knew what was happening.”

“Well, hell darlin’, you should come check us out sometime!!” Dean bellowed as he wrapped his arm around Lily’s shoulders.

“Oh my gosh, that would be so fun!” Renee said, her voice laced with excitement, “You’d have so much fun!”

Just as she was about to answer, Lily’s stomach let out a growl that could put King-Kong to shame. She felt a blush slowly creep up her neck and spread to her face.

“Damn Renee, I think someone’s hungry.”

It was only then that both girls realized they hadn’t stopped for lunch and it was as nearly 6pm.

“Ok, I think now would be the best time to show you the cafeteria.” Renee said with a laugh.

“That’d be awesome.” Lily said just as her stomach decided to make itself heard again. Assuming Renee would want to hold Dean’s hand, Lily opted to use her cane instead of relying on Renee’s arm.

—-

As the three of them made their way to the cafeteria, Lily heard a new set of footsteps accompanied with a scent of smooth cologne.

“Thanks for leaving without me, Uce.” said an unbelievably deep voice.

“Sorry Ro, I was helping the little lady escort Lily here to the cafeteria. Lily, this is Roman, he sounds like a bear but deep down he’s a gentle giant.”

Lily turned in the direction of Roman’s voice, hoping to shake his hand, but was stopped short when she felt her cane snag something... or rather someone.

“What the fu-“ this person said followed by a thud. Lily couldn’t help but flinch and cringe a bit knowing that she was the cause of someone getting hurt.

“I am so sorry!” She said quickly trying to feel for whoever she almost took out. Her hands landed on a well toned bicep as well as an intoxicating scent of aftershave and sweat. Before she could help whoever it was up she felt them shake off her hands and heard an irritated growl.

“Get the hell off me!” He said angrily.

Lily felt her eyes water. ‘Way to go Lily, making a great first impression...’ she mentally scolded herself.

“Easy Seth, it was an accident man.” Roman said as he reached down to help his friend up, trying his best to keep his temper in check when Seth slapped his hand away.

“Right.” He said as he dusted himself off, turning towards Lily as he spoke.

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going next time?” He seethed. Dean, Roman and Renee all tensed at his poor choice of words. It wasn’t his fault tho, he hadn’t known that Lily was blind.

“Believe me, I wish I could.” She said with a sad smile.

Sensing that Seth was about to say something hurtful, Dean quickly got his attention, unceremoniously placed his hands over his eyes while shaking his head ‘no’ trying his hardest to signal to his friend that Lily couldn’t see. Of course Seth, being the hot head that he was, just shook his head muttering a ‘whatever’ and walked away.

Lily bit her bottom lip, in a desperate attempt to stop it from quivering, when she felt a large hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry about him baby girl,” Roman said gently “he’s just pissed off because coach gave him a hard time today.”

Renee rolled her eyes saying “Please, he’s always in a bad mood. Are you ok Lily?” She asked, coming to Lily’s side and hugging her.

Not trusting her voice, she simply nodded and allowed Roman to lead her into the cafeteria.

Having lost her appetite she just moved her food around with her fork.

As she sat with her new three friends, they took the opportunity to study her, she wasn’t that tall, maybe 5’3”, deep red hair and ivory skin. She was a petite little thing. Roman, having enough of this awkward silence, spoke up. “So Lily, tell us about yourself.”

“Oh, well, I graduated from high school about two years ago and took time off to play for my friend Amanda. She’s a singer trying to get her music career started. Have you ever heard of the Dresden Dolls?” She asked. It was a long shot but you never know.

“No.” Both Dean and Roman answered in almost perfect unison.

“I have!” Renee almost yelled “Do they sing Coin Operated Boy?!”

Lily almost choked on her soda. She couldn’t believe that someone knew of them!

“Yes!! I played the piano on that track! What a small world!”

“That’s awesome!” Renee exclaimed, “where did you learn to play?”

“I started when I was about 6, my mom said I needed a distraction after my- I mean...” Lily cleared her throat and started chugging her drink.

Dean, having no tact at all, took it upon himself to ask what no one else would.

“After What darlin’?”

Lily sighed, it was going to come out any way, might as well be now.

“After my dad left us. He didn’t like the fact that he was trapped with a ‘defective’ daughter so he took off with his 21 year old secretary, but not before having a huge screaming match with my mom. That’s one of the downsides of being blind, your other senses are heightened so I heard every word.”

A bastard tear fell down her cheek as she recalled the painful memory. She reached up to wipe it away but was beaten by Roman’s thumb.

“It’s his loss baby girl. He’s a fool for leaving you and your mom.”

“Thanks, um so. What about you guys?” She asked, changing the subject, “what do you guys look like?”

She learned that Dean was 6’4”, Caucasian, blue eyes, well built, with dirty blonde hair, Renee was just a few inches taller than Lily, hazel eyes, fair skinned as well with light blonde hair and Roman was 6’3”, Samoan, tan skin, brown eyes, long dark brown hair, and (according to Dean) was built like an Adonis.

“Wow, you all sound like you could be models!”

“Well, darlin’, when you’re rockin’ next to nothin’ when wrestling, you gotta look good.” Dean said as Roman laughed in agreement.

“You should come to one of our shows! It’d be fun!” Dean said, scooping the last of his chowder into his mouth.

“Maybe one day!” Lily said yawning. “Renee, I’m so sorry but would you mind taking me back to my place? I’m still a little jet lagged.”

“Of course!”

Roman helped Lily outta her seat and the four of them left. They said their goodbyes and Lily made her way up to her apartment.

“Alexa, play messages.” Lily called out as she threw her keys and purse on the table.

“You have one new message from Manda-Bear:

‘Hey Lily-Pad, just wanted to let you know that I made it back safely and I miss you already. You had better call me when you wake up and tell me all about your day or so help me I’ll jump back on a plane and come kick your adorable ass!! I love you... call me!!’

Lily smiled and made a mental note to call Amanda in the morning. She couldn’t help but feel completely alone at the moment. Not to mention she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t even been on campus for a full 24 hours and already she made a fool of herself. One thing was for sure, she was going to do her best to steer clear of this Seth guy.

“Alexa, what time is it?”

“It is 11:42pm”

Groaning she did the only thing that calmed her down when she was antsy. Sitting at the her keyboard she began playing the Moonlight Sanata. After 15 minutes of playing she was interrupted by someone pounding on her front door. She quickly ran to her door, not before grabbing her pocket knife, and swung open the door, stiffening when she was met with the same scent she smelt when she tripped Seth.

“Oh shit...” Seth mumbled under his breath.

“Can I help you?” Lily asked with a sigh.

“Yeah, I’m trying to sleep so could you keep the damn noise down?!” He said annoyed realizing that they were neighbors.

“I’m so sorry, I’ll do....” before she could finish she couldn’t help but hear Amanda’s words from earlier ‘you’re an amazing badass who doesn’t take shit from anyone’.

“Hello?!” He said, snapping his fingers in front of her face, a mistake on his part. With lightning speed, Lily grabbed his wrist and threw it back at him.

“Look,” She said pointing a finger at him, “I’m sorry about earlier and I’m sorry about the noise but you have no right to act like a prick! Now,” she took a deep breath, calming down “come in for a drink and we can start over.” Giving him her friendliest smile she moved out of the way to let him in.

A very stunned Seth stood there looking at her. No one, let alone a woman, had ever spoken to him like that. It didn’t sit well with him. Not one bit.

“No thanks, I’ve got an early class.” And with that he retreated back to his apartment.

Embarrassed, she shut her door and went beck to her room. She wanted to be mad, she really did but being blind had its advantages. She depended greatly on her hearing when having conversations to pick up on social cues. She sensed something deeper in Seth’s voice, something he tried desperately to hide: insecurity. To everyone else he portrayed himself as a cocky athlete who was God’s gift to women, but Lily could hear past that. As she laid down she couldn’t help but feel an infatuation with him. She knew what it was like to pretend to be strong on the outside while vulnerable on the inside. Smiling to herself she decided that instead of avoiding him, she’d make it her goal to befriend him and lift him up. She closed her eyes and welcomed a dreamless sleep, excited for the new day.

@haven-raven012591 @wrestlingfae @calwitch @neversatisfiedgirl @lost-in-the-stories

#seth rollins #seth rollins x oc #blind!oc #female oc #dean ambrose #roman reigns #renee young #amanda palmer #the dresden dolls #angst #fluff #slow burn #wwe #wwe imagine #wwe angst #wwe fanfiction #seth rollins angst #seth rollins imagine #seth rollins fanfic

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