#because not even he can tell

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ???? #and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?'' #NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY??? #and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often'' #the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing'' #and he's like ''SWEET?????'' #so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Tim is the first to find out the Red Hood’s identity and from then on sticks to Jason during patrol like glue (much to Jason’s chagrin, dammit, it would feel wrong to beat up Robin when he’s that starry eyed…)

Cue: PANIC from the rest of the Batfamily, who still think Hood is a forty-something year old crime lord and now assume they’re dating.

#misunderstandings #miscommunication #protective batfamily #dick is NOT having it #neither is Bruce #I connected the dots- YOU CONNECTED SHIT #I connected them #Tim is very confused about all the ‘you can tell us if anything is wrong’ talks #are they talking about the one time Jason shot at him? because honestly it was pretty obvious he wasn’t even trying to hit him it’s FINE #if I see anybody add something that comes even CLOSE to ship bashing I shall make this Jaytim out of spite #no bashin in this house nah-uh #maybe some mild joker bashing #but it’s still ok if you like him #let’s keep this ✨harmonious✨ #jason todd #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne #robin #tim drake #red hood #fic #Nightwing #Batman #prompts #this is part of my fic roster btw hehe

[zosanbrainrot]

part 2 of Zoro in WCI

01 02

I tried to write something to sum up my thoughts on this, but then it got longer and longer and tbh I'm itching to write a fic set in this AU djjdkf I think I could develop on their inner feelings more than in the comic form

Before posting the first part I didn't realize people had such strong opinions on how this would play out lmaooo

imo, of course Zoro wants to fight Sanji, not with actual intent to harm (they threaten each other on the daily, come on), but because that's how they are together, how they communicate. He respects Luffy's decisions and their goal here, which is to learn what's really going on with Sanji, but he's gonna be pissy about it all he wants. They both have so many intense and conflicted feelings about this and neither has any idea how to resolve them. So they fight.

ofc yall are free to headcanon this interaction any other way you want <333

#hope you can hear the moment Sanji's heart shatters #you're walking the painful path you chose and then even this stupid marimo instead of playing your usual game of threats and violence #instead of making this easier for you he pierces right through your heart with the tiniest confession #I never hated you #but even if he didn't use to #he sure as hell despises every inch of you now #he must he has to #but this is what you chose #it is what you deserve #ANGST #PAIN #wci zoro au #obvi if I were to write it wouldnt write first person this just got out of hand #i love angst can you tell #zosan #i love keeping them in the 'what if maybe no he would never' hell #roronoa “i love you but I will take these feelings with me to the grave” zoro #blackleg “I need you to hate me because I simply don't deserve to be loved” sanji #rorona zoro #black leg sanji #sanji #zoro #my art #whole cake arc #whole cake island #one piece #one piece fanart

[kkoct-ik]

finally scratching the skill cabinet itch

#kostik draws #harry du bois #harrier du bois #fanart #disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #i can tell im gonna hate this in an hour but fuck you #im still glad im experimenting with style and colour. even if i have an ugly period (normal grip) #the duality between this and what i drew earlier today is staggering #anyway. money to anyone who can find all the skills (i abstracted some of them so its probably not possible) #there are 11 with some room for ambiguity because some of them have common motifs #have fun #i really like them! really really!! hes just like me... #update hour+ later: i dont hate it! wao...

[blackkatdraws2]

The narrator and the ugly ahh protagonist [Blank Scripts AU/non-canonical]

#tsp blank scripts au #non canonical art #shitpost #this is fr how people be drawing narrator and stanley.... narrator being way too handsome and stanley as a background character naahh.. #honestly i just drew him like that because it was funny but then i got too attached to it like an idiot aghh #The Narrator (Black) is an entirely different made-up species originating from the ancient Arctic north #long before the Crystal Empire was even built. #The old one's tail only ever wags whenever Stanley is around. You can clearly tell who the favorite pony is #Imagine Black showing Stanley courtship behaviors like rolling on his back #showing his stomach to him #sliding his wings on his chin #trotting like a dancing mare around him #and generally just showing off to show Stanley that he's interested in him... #But because of the species difference (and because Stanley is one airheaded fella) #Stanley doesn't understand what Black is doing other than he looks beautiful while doing it. #the narrator (Black) can read Stanley's thoughts btw #so he knows what that silly guy is thinking about :) #tsp au #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #mlp #my little pony #mlp oc #my little pony oc #tsp #tspud #tsp narrator #narrator tsp #stanley tsp #tsp stanley

[fob4ever]

mmy review, billboard / mmy, youngblood chronicles / ybc commentary, vh1 / patrick, ap.net 2008 / miss missing you / pete's blogspot, 2005 / pete's twitter / pete, 2015 / mmy, youngblood chronicles / mmy ybc monologue/srar album text / miss missing you

#welcome to my twisted mind #Pete saying that in the vh1 video is SO FUNNY BECAUSE you can tell he like HAS TO SAY IT like its clawing at him inside to say the video #fits the song. and then he doesnt let ANYONE say anything doesnt allow patrick to even hear what hes saying before he IMMEDIATELY CHANGES #THE SUBJECT LMAOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭 #like girl. YOU chose to bring that up #im right btw

[little-pondhead]

[this is kind of a messy ramble, sorry about that]

Demon Twins AU, except Danny is loyal to the League.

The League of Assassins is a “cult” for a reason. They know what they’re doing. Ra’s has been around for a very long time; he’s seen every trick in the book and then some.

So when his daughter Talia gave him two, near-identical twin grandsons, he had already planned out their lives by the time the sun had set on their first day living. He knew the plans weren’t perfect. Nothing ever went exactly how he wanted it to. But that was the joy of being absolutely fucking ancient. Ra’s adapted better than anyone. If something went wrong, Ra’s will simply work around the issue and live to see another day.

So the boys were raised as he wished. Ruthless, with sharp blades and even sharper wit. They matched each other in every way, blow for blow. Neither won more than the other, and Ra’s encouraged the competition between the twins. Eventually, the battle for title of Heir came, and Damian won that particular match.

Danny was fine with this. Thrilled, even, for his brother to earn the title of Heir. The boys were very close, and worked well to take down targets twice their size. Ra’s approved this, and granted Danny title of Shadow. He was to be Damian’s eternal shadow, a guard. Both Talia and the boys were pleased with this.

But then came the time for the boys to learn how to live without each other. They’d gotten too used to someone guarding their back. Too complacent and too confident in their roles. Ra’s knew it would happen, and so sent Danny off at a very young age to live with some sleeper agents in America.

The Fentons.

Damian would stay here, with Talia, to learn how to be the perfect Heir. He needed to learn how to fight without the assistance of his brother.

Danny would go to Amity Park, and be fostered by the Fentons. He needed to put his skills to practical use and learn how to live without constant orders.

This was their Test.

Damian did quite well, for a while. Until Talia sent him off to his birth father, The Bat. Reports on his behavior declined in quality after that, and Ra’s couldn’t help but feel dissatisfaction with how the Heir had been corrupted.

Danny’s reports were always immaculate, however. His mask never slipped, and he’d worked himself into the hearts of the townspeople. The sleeper agents, Jack and Maddie, had a daughter who was quite enthusiastic about the properties of the mind, and accept Ra’s instructions to teach Danny with ease. It was the ideal situation.

In Ra’s eyes, Danny was thriving. Damian was not.

And then Ra’s died. The League was in shambles. Damian was at peace with his family, away from the cult he grew up in. He assumed Danny had defected years ago, since their mother stopped giving him reports about his twin.

Then Danny showed up at the Wayne’s doorstep, decked out in full League attire, angry and hostile.

“Tell me, dear brother,” he spat. “Why did you not inform me that Grandfather had died? I had to find out through his spirit when it came to visit from the afterlife!”

Damian didn’t know what to say.

#DPxDC #pondhead blurbs #just #Danny and Damian grew up in a CULT #cults have a reputation for a reason #Danny had no reason to even think about defecting throughout his entire childhood #if being loyal to his grandfather was an issue clockwork would have told him #Dan would have told him #the Fentons are part of a league faction operating out of the US #even Jazz is loyal to them and started viewing Ra’s as a grandfather figure the few times he came to visit #Danny LOVES his assassin grandpa and nobody in amity blinks an eye at him #Ra’s does know about the Fenton portal and phantom #because why wouldn’t Danny tell him? #Ra’s dies and his spirit immediately heads over to where he knows the portal is so he can get some help #ghost Ra’s: my grandson. it’s been too long. #Danny with the worst voice crack: why are you DEAD #Talia is still in hiding #or doing whatever she’s supposed to be doing idk #Danny shows up to ream Damian out and yell at him for his disloyalty #everyone is extremely worried about what Danny will do because he is very obviously still in deep with the league #he doesn’t like the talk about being ‘free’ because he was always free. tf you talking about Grayson. #also Damian doesn’t know about the full properties of the Lazarus pits or ectoplasm. he’s the Heir not the Head. that’s private stuff #Ra’s is a smug bastard using his grandson as a way to get revenge on the living #Danny is HIS shadow now. #I must stress Danny is pretty much the same as canon but literally just loyal to his grandpa Ra’s #maybe Ra’s meets clockwork? Ra’s x Clockwork? #their ship name is Sun Dial now I’ve decreed it

[sysig]

Those wacky skeletons ♥ (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Sans #Papyrus #Handplates #You can tell because of Sans' gloves lol #Getting-used-to-them-again doodles as well as just expressing Feeling <3 Happy towards them! Want them to be happy too! #It might seem silly for these - how many sets in now? - to still be getting used to drawing them again lol but it's because they're adults! #Their clothes and the way they hold themselves - but also especially Sans lol I dunno why I have such difficulty with him at times #He's got a cute face and I still find myself like ????how your face #Other than that tho it's just silliness hehe ♪ My favourite lads :D #I feel the need to make the distinction: I do actually have different favourites based on the AU lol #Like for example in classic I still love Flowey just a tiiiiiny bit more than Papyrus but it really is constantly neck and neck #Whereas in Handplates it's no competition even a little bit lol - Papyrus is just my Very Favourite #But Gaster is my favourite Handplates-specific character since he's unique to the AU! It gets a bit in the weeds lol #Sans isn't far behind at all of course the trio are very important! The duo even moreso imo #Going back to gloves tho I did carry over one of my quirks from my original UT doodles about Papyrus' gloves lol #I initially envisioned them as combination mitten-gloves with a free index finger and all the rest together #I still rather like the design! But it is admittedly not Handplates accurate lol #The occasional dip into self-indulgence who me? Lol #Sleeping on each other is important to me as well!! It is such a favourite hehe #Honestly I just imagined Papyrus getting so exhausted that he fell asleep in the snow lol poor lad #Sans teleported in but it's also funny to imagine him just walking up like ''you good? yeah he's fine'' *flop* haha #Silly lads <3 Do love 'em ♪

[kawaiichibiart]

Hello, yes, I need more cards where the characters interact with their younger selves.

I want more of this please:

#project sekai #project sekai colorful stage #hatsune miku colorful stage #proseka #prosekai #colorful stage #i didn't include toya's nocturne interlude trained card because while he is with his younger self #they aren't really interacting together? they're both just there playing their respective instruments #i want older toya to show younger toya that he found something someone that made him happy and enjoy music #i want to see older ena helping little ena with a drawing like she did for those school kids with emu and honami #i want to see older tsukasa put on a show for his younger self #or even just tell him that he's found more people who would help him pursue his dreams #saki holding her younger self the first night she has to spend in the hospital #honami baking with little honami #kanade holding out the music box (i can't remember if it was her mom's or her dad's) so her younger self can wind it up #mafuyu carrying her younger self away from something that looks harmful towards something that says safety #ichika telling little ichika all about leo/need's sekai and miku #emu is telling her younger self all about wxs and how they helped her save the wonder stage #do i need to go on?

[starcurtain]

I think the most amazing thing about Alhaitham's ironic question "How has realizing your ideals gone for you?" is that yes, on the surface, it pierced through the heart of Kaveh's feelings at the time and forced him to reflect on whether he still had enough belief to keep going, but--BUT--

This is also Alhaitham subtly asking: "Was your life better without me?"

Kaveh left their friendship because of his ideals.

Kaveh's attempts to realize his beliefs began in earnest during his argument with Alhaitham, who challenged him back then by suggesting that Kaveh didn't honestly believe in his ideals and was just pursuing them out of guilt and a desire to punish himself for his father's death.

Kaveh's attempt to "realize his ideals," therefore, spans the exact amount of time he and Alhaitham have been separated. When Alhaitham asks about Kaveh's attempts, he's asking very specifically about the course Kaveh's life took when he was no longer in it.

How did it go for you? Were you happier? Was it worth it?

I truly believe that Kaveh will be able resolve his conflict with Alhaitham--and come to understand Alhaitham's actual feelings--when he realizes that, in that exact moment, he should have turned the question around:

How did realizing your ideals go for you, Alhaitham?

Was your life better off without me?

No.

#genshin impact #alhaitham #kaveh #haikaveh #kavetham #Kaveh was so worried about whether he should keep his own ideals #that he never even noticed how much Alhaitham's changed #Alhaitham's line in Parade of Providence #about how being correct isn't the same as being right #was sooo telling #it's not about compromising your beliefs #but about learning how to pursue them without compromising yourself #both of them had to feel the sting of pursuing their own beliefs too far #to realize that you need balance #Kaveh's pursuit of ideals that cost him everything was Alcazarzaray #but Alhaitham's pursuit of ideals was the fight that lost him Kaveh #Sumeru was saved because Alhaitham learned his lesson about egoism #and Alhaitham was able to save Kaveh in turn #it's so fucking clean my god this writing #Hoyo cooked so hard with this ship not even Gordon Ramsey can complain

[rottengurlz]

paranormal investigator that fakes all her haunts and doesn't believe in ghosts until her boyfriend who "accidentally" died started haunting her

#her name is emelia and her traits are noncommittal ambitious and high maintenance #she definitely didnt push her boyfriend down the stairs after finding out he was going to leave her #and tell everyone she was scamming them #i <3 women who do crime #he doesn't even try to scare her he just breaks her all her belongings because he can #and will passive aggressively follow her around and slam the door in her face before she goes into every room #mysims #sims 4 #simblr #the sims community #ts4 simblr

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

i feel like the queer community lost when we started policing labels and making sure everyone used the Correct™ labels instead of letting a person decide what feels right for them

#caique posts #inspired by a post a trans guy made asking if it was okay for him to keep identifying as a lesbian even though he’s now a man #and all the comments telling him no because lesbians can’t be men #and also all the other posts of people asking if they’re ''allowed'' to use certain labels #why do you need permission? #who are you even asking permission from? #we’re not cops #do whatever you want forvever #also inspired by an article in a zine in the 80s/90s of two FtMs in a T4T relationship #one of them described the relationship as being between a butch and his sissy boy #i cannot ever imagine anyone calling themselves that nowadays #because of ''only lesbians can be butches'' and ''sissy is offensive'' discourse #i’m sure there are people out there who would want to describe their relationship like that but don’t feel they’re ''allowed'' to #anyway lots of baby queers are tying themselves in knots trying to figure themselves out #and they’re more concerned with using the Correct™ label instead of the one they feel most comfortable with #yeah i just don’t like it #knowing you’re queer should be a liberating feeling #instead of something anxiety-inducing because you’re worried if you’re using labels wrong

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family #after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay #like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad #Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin #He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce #He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom #The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole #Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3 #Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less?? #He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette #Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store #and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him #Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have #Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma #Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens #That’s the tragedy. The drama. #Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones #It was inevitable #Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind #batfam #batman #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne

[puppyeared]

Design notes (+ a little Portal clownery)

#this is only when I really take the time to draw them properly and not fucking rushing the fuck out of my hand on stream to get my silly #stupid joke out of my head. because when that happens the only thing that can tell them apart is wukongs phoenix feathers and the thin hope #that I’m conveying their personalities correctly HEHFHSBB #WE GO FULL SONIC/SHADOW IN THIS MF!!! #I also live for macaque being ungroomed and not knowing what to do with his fur for the longest time bc he doesn’t really have anyone to go #to. bc of his falling out with wukong and because he would probably die before asking someone to brush his hair or smth hehffgsbv #probably makes up for it by covering it with glamor anyway. who knows *shrug* #also hiii peddling my wukong and macaque are roughly the same height hc *deafening silence* #this is partly because I can’t clearly imagine one being taller than the other and I just think it’s funny if it’s an ongoing argument betwe #between them for centuries. arguing whos taller even back when they were friends JDHFNSV #my art #myart #doodles #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #Monkie kid #lmk MK #lmk xiaotian #lmk six eared macaque #lmk macaque #lmk sun wukong #lmk swk #lmk fanart #shadowpeach #but in a divorced way

[difeisheng]

#he's just some silly little guy!!!!! #guy of all time even!!!!! #mysterious lotus casebook #li xiangyi #li lianhua #ashton's text post memes #ashton originals #you can always tell when i'm procrastinating something because that's only ever when i make text post memes

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Has Ben's habit of casual flirting caused any problems for him or the team?

Probably not as much as his casual flexing with Omnitrix tbh xD Which is basically flirting for this guy!

Though admittingly HoM Ben is not as flirty as it might seem at first. As he grew up, it became, as you said, a habit - more of a part of his heroic/public persona that he developed after becoming a hero celebrity across the (alien part of) universe.

It tends to make people (especially those who know him by his reputation first) feel easier around him and/or underestimate him if he is just some silly guy who flirts. (I mean he is silly guy who casually flirts, but he is also just a dude and so much more, as we all know.)

There were a few instances when it brought trouble, but also sometimes it helped them out too. But, let's just say that HoMies tend to look out for Ben not to say something unfortunate whenever he tends to be too friendly.

Actually there is another casual flirter in their friend group that brings almost as much trouble as Ben - it's Jake! Some of his casually flirty/overly friendly behaviour can be attributed to him becoming an American Dragon in his early teens (he really enjoyed his newfound cool dragon powers and popularity amongst magical folk), and some of it is just his personality (his behaviour was incredibly cringy at times when he was younger, but as he matured, it changed into something a little bit more charming).

When those two are on a mission together, others have to work overtime to keep an eye on them.

Which is ironic, because I 100% headcanon almost all of the HoMies masters of accidental rizz: they make people like them just by being themselves lol.

#que? #hom au #hom au q&a #jake long #ben tennyson #jenny xj9 #and! honorable mentions of Rex: who is also a bit of a flirt but not an overly casual one so he is not as bad as Ben and Jake #and Jenny: who can be incredibly flirty when she sees someone attractive to her. but otherwise she is not a casual flirty type #and Randy!: whos is a bit like Ben when he is in a suit. but infinitely more awkward. he is still maturing xD #me. drawing Ben and squinting: ....is he handsome? or even pretty? i cant tell because i always draw him tired af so like???i dunno man #i cant draw people like they are super attractive ok i have my artistic limits lol