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#because 1) the stuff she's put me on has so far done nothing but add intolerable side effects to the hell that i am already existing in
milkweedman · 9 months
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ah, the ever-more-frequent Urge To Explode My Brain from unending migraines. a migraine that just lasts the day already sucks so bad. whole day is gone in a blur of pain and misery, right ? a migraine that lasts multiple days is sort of like if hell was real and you were in it. time has no meaning, only pain, etc.
months of migraines... with no break or end or effective treatment and also you still have to work and behave like a normal person because you cannot lie in bed for months not paying rent. well id describe it you but ive fucking lost the plot. its gone on so long and its so bad that when the migraine ISN'T at its peaking on the pain scale and making me feel like if i was hit by a truck that would be an improvement, i start to feel like my head is a vestigial organ that has been removed. cant access sensation in my head and it feels literally disconnected from my body. meanwhile the pain is still there (along with the brain fog, vertigo, nausea, etc) but it feels like its happening to somebody else.
#im kind of impressed that i can at this point carry a normal conversation (as good as i ever can. which is bad but irrelevant)#while being in agony and having been in agony for as long as i can remember#usually also with something dislocated just for some extra fun#because what i actually feel like doing 100% of the time is lighting myself on fire and/or screaming forever until i die#however thats the kind of shit that puts you in the psych ward again#so i am. smiling and making small talk while migraine auras wash out my vision and i try not to visibly dry heave#its really really really fucking bad. all the time so fucking bad.#i need to message my neurologist but likelihood of me doing that is low#because 1) the stuff she's put me on has so far done nothing but add intolerable side effects to the hell that i am already existing in#and 2) its fucking hard to do anything. even the bare minimum im not doing. so extra shit is just. not happening#i want to scream.#i am gonna. go for a walk and smoke a cigarette instead and then get really high because at least then i dont really care#the auras are making it really hard to see though. theyre like bleach all over my vision. just this wash of white#hhh.#chronic illness#chronic migraine#and its like. when my knee also gives out and it feels like theres metal in there slicing everything up with each tiny movement#or any of the other one million goddamn things broken in my body#i end up so overwhelmed by pain that i just want to lay on the floor and cry#at which point everyone around me gets mad that im not being productive and im costing them money and im not good enough#like ok kill me then. cheaper for you happier for me. just get a heavy object and go to town i would thank you for it#but i cant even say that because openly expressing suicidality just makes people angrier#im rapidly running out of fucks to give but also i will do anything to avoid returning to the psych ward#literally anything. morals out the window. i dont give a shit.#so its a catch-22.#vent
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athene-owl · 4 months
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Dream Video Followup
OK, I know I said I was done but, after a sleep and some more thinking about the video, there are a few things I really want to add before I can never talk about this guy or his fanbase ever again.
This is the one thing I'm kicking myself for not pointing out - the Pastebin stuff. So, in the description, Dream has 3 links to Pastebin posts. The first is a statement allegedly from Jamie, the second is a statement allegedly from an anonymous person in one of the burner account screenshots, and the third is for some reason a statement by an employee behind the whole Dream USB armband thing????
OK so I'm gonna go into the third statement first before getting into the other 2 more serious posts - this statement about the baby photo discourse is quite literally a short statement from a random employee of Dream's merch company saying he doesn't believe the allegations because he doesn't think there's enough facts. He doesn't even mention the baby photos which I don't think people even really cared about. I have no idea why this of all things was included but also cannot take any stock in this because this guy 1. Would have no insight into Dream's private behavior and 2. Would financially be VERY inclined to back up Dream. While researching for this I found out there's rumors of Dream's company being unethical or something? I am not getting into that can of worms my god. Here, I'll put the entire quote below to show you how ridiculous this is, yes this is the entire thing.
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As for the other 2 statements, I'm just gonna say this - as far as I can tell, there is no evidence these statements are legit. In the prelude to the 'Jamie' statement, Dream tries to address this and explains that 'Jamie' wants privacy and how in private he can verify their identity. If you wanna give him the benefit of the doubt, this makes sense to me personally given my current knowledge on the situation. BUT I won't say I'm inclined the do so esp given his history and the stakes of the situation. It'll be enough for stans and will probs make him look respectful and noble for 'protecting' her but it just flat out is not convincing evidence to me. This statement is not the slam dunk people are treating it as, if it is genuine then I am sorry for Jamie for being dragged into all of this and that's all I'll say. This is speculative but I need to mention it - even if this is Jamie, this is not 100% conclusive. If she's afraid of public backlash, if she's afraid of Dream, if she never wanted this revealed, then I think she would understandably just want to say nothing happened and for people to leave her alone. We don't have a clear way of knowing. Given how much Dream bemoans fake evidence in his video, given how much he lambasts people for not fact-checking, this is a huge issue with his evidence and I am not convinced by this personally. This is also all true for the second statement from the anonymous Discord user too.
A lot of the things Dream seemingly proves don't actually matter. With the photo at the police station, Dream got his team of lawyers to use this single photo to find out the exact station so they could contact them. They seemingly succeeded at this and found absolutely no records of Dream being reported for anything. I get the feeling this is the piece of evidence Dream is proudest of and that is impressing a lot of people. Doesn't it look really convincing and impressive that Dream's lawyers went through all this trouble, sent emails, made calls - all to find no report against him? It is impressive, but it doesn't prove as much as people are acting like it does. If anything, the photo being connected to a real station proves that Amanda did at least go to the police, since this wasn't a stock photo or anything. And while I'm no legal expert and am happy for someone to correct me, you absolutely can go to the police, talk to them about something, but choose not to report it. I don't think its impossible that Amanda went to a police station, consulted them on the situation without dropping names or wanting to file a report, and then left. This evidence proves no one has reported Dream and his records are clear NOT that he did nothing. He offers 2 answers - 1. That she was lying about intending to report him which he then leads into 'why wouldn't she be lying about everything' (lots of issues with this reasoning but whatever) and 2. She told the police her story but it didn't meet the standard of proof AKA it wasn't even seen as worth filing a report on by the police. But there's a third option - she backed out due to one of the countless reasons these crimes go unreported. I'm seeing so many people treat this as conclusive evidence, proudly supporting the idea that a woman not reporting her abuse makes her a liar. As if its unreasonable for a woman to plan to report, go to the police, but then change her mind. Really disgusting ideas are being spread and popularized by this video and men online are eating it up.
He also tells Amanda to check her mailbox - he has identified her, found her address and sent something to her, I'm guessing some sort of legal notice. This makes me incredibly uneasy. All I'll say is this - if I was groomed by someone like Dream, with his resources and stans and success, I wouldn't report it.
Small thing but at 1:14:35 he mentions how people thought he admitted to the moaning audio being him because he called it "essentially unsubstantiated "revenge porn"" - people thought him calling it 'revenge porn' was him admitting to it being real while he insists he meant it was fake but being passed around like it was him. And I just need to say that he really should've just flat out denied it was him, just say 'that audio is not me' and this whole confusion could've been avoided.
At 1:17:42, when Dream is discussing 'false allegations' he specifically mentions that it is a current 'trend' in the Minecraft community but assures the audience it will grow and spread to other communities. Really hate how that's gonna be cited as proof of victims being fake from now on, I really must ask why Dream had to speak beyond his own situation and make wider claims about this shit because I am fucking fed up. I need random internet men to STOP positioning themselves as experts of complex issues of rape culture right now. I also have seen a lot of big Youtuber men take Dream's side in this and support this message and yeah this will make things moving forward a fucking nightmare. I want people to at least consider how hypothetical hidden abusers in an online community would react to Dream's insistence on 'false allegations' being a popular trend OK? Again, women are statistically far, far, far more likely to face sexual violence from men then men are to EVER be falsely accused so please keep this in mind and do not let your guard down because I guarantee this will have wide reaching consequences!!!! Remember how many celebrity men started suing their abuse victims after what that shithead did to Amber Heard? Yeah.
I never watched the DSMP, Dream's content, any of his Minecraft friends' content, nothing, so I have no context for the bits where he talks about those topics. I've seen people saying there's a ton to that whole side of things, a lot of complex and interpersonal drama so I wanted to mention that he does briefly talk about it if you're interested.
Even from an outside, casual perspective as someone who doesn't follow the Dream stuff closely, my friends and I know of some controversies he didn't mention and I just wanted to point that out. I'm not even saying these things are true/damning for Dream BUT these are all well-known things that he really should've addressed in a video that took over a year to make (this is not a comprehensive list, I'm sure there's more because this man is in drama every week). And before you say that he wanted to focus on the 'serious stuff' - he decided to address the speedrunning stuff, an AI video of him sucking his own dick, 10 minutes on Nick Cantu, and interviews with both his mother and an Uber driver he met once where they both wholesomely recount how funny and honorable Dream is. Anyway, here are the points:
His whole image/persona was taken from Cryaotic, a sexual predator
Him apparently supporting Trump
The drama he had with his SMP - he does briefly mention the QSMP thing but even I know there was a lot more to say on this
People in the DSMP being bigots, Dream was in charge of the whole thing and should've explained why he allowed this
Dream making sexual jokes and comments about underage friends of his (there's a whole Youtube compilation of this and it's weird as fuck)
The whole Pride month donation debacle
Dream's own bigotry towards various marginalized groups
His fans mass doxxing of multiple people - the most infamous being of Twitter user @/faerieluv, a black person who had a welfare check called on them by Dream stans for criticising him? Where they live, 'welfare checks' had resulted in black people being murdered by police before, their ADHD medication was questioned - their life was in danger due to his stans and as far as I can tell Dream has never acknowledged this. Unfortunately, it seems they have left Twitter but I don't have an account so its hard to verify. Also, I previously said they were a woman but that's not clear now so I apologize.
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iguessitsjustme · 1 year
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Getting to know your BL mutuals - 2022 Edition
I’ve now been tagged to do this by @gillianthecat and @ommited-miscellaneously and since it’s finally Friday and I can relax my brain for a few days, I figured I’d actually do it! Thanks for the tag!
Simple, answer the questions. @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answers!
What has been the BL that took you by surprise this year?
There are a few so but the one that stands out the most is Secret Crush on You. I went into SCOY expecting to HATE it. And I mean really and truly hate it, but instead what I got was one of my favorite BLs not just of this year but ever. I wouldn’t say it’s my top BL, but it’s definitely one of them.
What has been the BL that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?
Oooohhh this is a tricky question because I was disappointed by a few of the really popular ones so I’m going to steer clear of that and just list a few that had potential to be good but something went wrong:
1. About Youth - Don’t get me wrong, I adored this show, but the ending kind of dropped the ball. I would still recommend it though. If it had a few more episodes to tie up all of the loose ends, it would be amazing.
2. Love Area - If anyone can tell me what the fuck that show was, I would appreciate it.
3. Plus & Minus - Starting really strong but lost it along the way.
What has been your favorite BL this year?
Hmmmm..that is difficult to answer. I’m just gonna look at MDL and put my highest rated ones (my ratings are based on nothing but my own personal feelings toward he show when I rated it and I am generous with my ratings):
1. Cherry Blossoms After Winter - 10/10
2. DNA Says Love You - 10/10
3. Minato Shouji Coin Laundry - 10/10
4. Secret Crush on You - 10/10 though I should lower it. I love it but I think it’s really more like a 9/10 for me. The second hand embarrassment at the beginning is a lot.
5. To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories - 10/10. What can I say? It scratched a very particular itch for me.
What are your favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?
I actually made a post about this once. But I bet that’s changed. It actually hasn’t. But I’ll add a few more couples just for fun:
1. WinTeam - Between Us. I mean, obviously.
2. TapPing - Fahlanruk. Only couple in that show worth the watch.
3. MorkTawan - My Ride. What wholesome boys.
If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?
I have done this many times getting my mother into BL. The rate at which this woman consumes BL is impressive given her schedule. But if I were to recommend any one BL to a random lay person off the street with a passing interest in getting into BL, I would go with A Tale of A Thousand Stars. It has good characters, a good story, it’s easily accessible, and it’s a great launching off point because it’s a GMMTV show. It’s the perfect show to ease someone into BL if they are interested.
What's your non-BL favorite for this year?
I HAVE SO MANY. I never talk about them here but SO MANY. I gotta go see what my MDL says.
Okay so this was technically last year, but I watched it this year. I LOVED Vincenzo. That show is everything to me. The only way it could be better is if they made it gay. I kind of want a gender swapped Vincenzo. Nothing else changes except Vincenzo is a girl and they’re lesbians.
Other non-BL favorites:
1. Again My Life - What can I say? I have a very particular type of show for non-BL.
2. Tomorrow - Massive trigger warnings for this one but it is oh so good.
3. Ghost Doctor - This show was also a lot of fun. I did have to FF through a lot of the surgery stuff but it’s not terribly bad if you’re squeamish like me. Plus there’s a bromance! And I love Kim Bum.
4. The Circle - Not a drama but my boss, well I guess technically she’s the big boss now and not directly my boss (yay promotions!) got me to watch this. I normally do not watch reality tv and stay far, far away. But this was very entertaining and I could not stop. If I went on this show, I would 100% be a catfish just for shits and giggles.
5. Uncanny Counter - Also not technically this year but it’s when I watched it. It’s just a very fun show.
I did watch a few other non-BL dramas but they are in no way my favorite.
I don’t know who hasn’t done this yet, so if you want to do this consider yourself tagged. Go on and do the thing! It’s fun.
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livingwithlosingyou · 2 years
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Living with Losing You - 9/2/2022
It’s SO HOT!
I am actually melting. We are in a heatwave right now, and the wall unit A/C is not really working as well as I wish it could. 
Today was a good day. I woke up at around 7:00am, took Sadie on a decent walk, and then picked up the apartment because it needed to be cleaned and I had been putting it off. 
After I cleaned I made myself a list of things that I wanted/ needed to do. Did I get to everything on the list? NOPE. Did I get to a few things on the list? YEP. I feel accomplished. Anything is better than nothing. 
After I got my list together I headed to PetSmart (this was my first stop) to grab Sadie’s food and come treats for the animals. These two are so spoiled, but they deserve it and I love them so much. They had so many cute costumes and halloween stuff already out, and it made me sad to think that you are going to be missing your favorite time of year. I am still going to make it a point to do the things that ew would have done. I ended up ordering Sadie and Latte some collars for the season. I think you would approve. 
After this trip, I made my way to Fashion Valley Mall. If anyone knows me, they know I hate shopping like this. Plus, I hadn’t even eaten yet, so I was really not in the mood to walk around. I was glad that I mustered up the strength and will power to go. I wanted to get it over with and I was in the area. 
The errand that I needed to run was actually for a misunderstanding with Fabletics. I bought some leggings back in December and apparently signed up for a membership. Well, you know how that goes, you forget you’re paying for it and then suddenly you have 8,000 member credits (okay not that many but I did have 8 lol) which means I had 8 outfits (top and bottom) worth of credits to use. And even though they had a sale today and I “lost money”, again, I had 8. I ended up using 3 for today. I wanted to use some of it at least. They were extremely helpful though and I was glad that I got to go into the store to try on things, etc. I will post a picture of what I got!
Additionally, for being a Cal Chamber member, I received a $25 gift card to See’s Candies like almost a year ago. I decided to finally use this and treat myself. I got a box of 12 chocolates, and have made pretty decent headway on this so far. I have about 1/3 of the box left still. It took so much self control to not devour it all. If you’re curious, I am a dark chocolate girl. Milk and white chocolates are too sweet for me, I appreciate the bitterness / balance with dark chocolate. Probably a fun fact that no one cared about, but no regrets for sharing it anyway. James, you know how seriously I take my chocolate. Also though, for the first time in a while I did what you would call my “happy food dance”. It really did help improve my mood though. 
I also decided to swing by Pink while I was there. Honestly - it’s been really hot and I am just (no shame) sweating through my bras. Ladies, you get the struggle. I wanted to add another bra to the line up since we are getting into Santa Ana season #sdstruggles. I also bought like 7 new pairs of underwear. I can’t pass up a good deal. Or cute underwear. We all can understand that. 
After all the shopping, I was ready to drop since I hadn’t eaten yet. I talked to your mom on my way home (so nice to talk to her) and then I unloaded and unpacked all the bags. I definitely need to do some laundry tomorrow!
I finally decided what I wanted to eat for lunch, and ordered a salad with chicken and a side of GF bread. I ate this as I talked with Erika (I really am on the phone a lot, but I think it helps me). Her and I walked for almost 2.5 hours. She has been such a rock and an incredible friend. Really thankful for her. Anyway, I was supposed to go to practice today, but I was honestly so worn out. I ended up texting Aaron because it was just a recovery day (not much to coach on) and I had a church group dinner in just a few hours. I definitely needed a nap. My body is still very much recovering from everything. I have been allowing myself to nap for at least 30 minutes a day, though I kind of hope this does not become a habit. I haven’t napped during the days I am working though, and I have found that that is a struggle. 
I woke up from my nap to a text from Bri asking if I wanted to go to the farmers market. I had not been in weeks, so I did want to go and check it out. One of the last times I went to the market was when you watched me play and I sang there in June. So crazy, it feels like yesterday and ages ago all at the same time. When you walked up to watch me play (the apartment is just down the street), I sang “Thinking Out Loud” for you. You were so excited about it. It was a really sweet moment that I am glad that we shared. Anyway, so I quickly got ready and met Bri to walk around the market. The new set up is strange, but it is what it is. There were some cool new vendors, so it was nice to see some variety. 
After the market, Bri walked me back to my apartment, and then I walked Sadie with her back to her work office. I needed to walk Sadie before the church event. 
At this point I had not eaten dinner yet, but was fully just planning on grabbing some food afterward. Bri had bought me a bundt cake (thanks again for that if you are reading this!) but I wanted to save it. I quickly grabbed my things and headed over to the church group house dinner. I was excited and nervous, per usual. I think it’s more in social settings with new people I almost don’t always know what to say, if I should tell them what’s going on with me, etc. It just makes me anxious. I got there a little before my friend who invited me, but it was a gated community. I initially parked outside and attempted the gate code to go through the walk-in entrance, but it was not working. I quickly texted my friend and he called me and was ironically pulling up to the gate. He told me to just grab my car and follow him in, so I ran to grab my car and drove up to the gate and now was trying the code on the car gate. This was not working either. The STRESS I was feeling. I cannot describe it. He was also struggling with it (he got out of his car to help me) and then the guy behind us said he didn’t know it either. So this was all great. It luckily eventually worked, and we drove in. I followed him until I had to branch off to find a guest parking spot, but this was pretty far out. Luckily he waited for me so he could show me where this place was. 
We finally got inside and I was pleasantly surprised with the group size. It was about 8-10 people total. I met a lot of great people, and exchanged a few numbers with some girls. This is a big deal, as having grown up with 3 brothers, I am typically more comfortable with boys. Yay for girl friends! We went over the sermon for Sunday that is upcoming, which I really appreciated. It was nice to get a glance forward to reflect on the message that is being taught. I really loved how we all just talked about our understanding and the significance of why God felt it was important to include in the bible. We ended the group with prayer requests, and I opened up to a couple of them about our situation. They were so kind and offered to support me if I ever needed to talk or wanted to get out of the house. It meant a lot. 
After this I was STARVING. I decided to just grab some Mexican food, head home to eat it, and now I am sitting in bed typing this. I’ll admit I did eat some more See’s Candy too. I can’t help it, it’s so good. 
Tomorrow I am meeting up with my parents fairly early to walk the pups, brunch with Marissa, seeing Erika for the first time since you and I hung out with her over 2 years ago, then seeing another friend in the evening. Should be a fin but busy day!
I hope that you are enjoying heaven and playing with Max. I am sure you and your grandpa had a lot of catching up to do as well <3
Thanks for being my guardian angel, I love you so much. 
Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols. 
Thanks for doing life with me as long as you could. 
10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022
PS - As mentioned, here are the outfits I got, and here is a picture of Sadie cakes (as you called her). 
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thebrochtuarachs · 2 years
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I haven’t done one of these reaction writes in a while but it’s 9AM, I just had my coffee and I’m positively feeling the heebee-jeebies after reading that and I just had to let it out. 
Please skip if this not your kind of tea. 
Man, I wanted it to be great. To be a great feature about Cait and her run for awards season. The photoshoot is certainly the best in years.
But I don't know about you but I cringed and stopped reading halfway through that article. Yikes is an understatement.
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Jesus, Vanity Fair (or Cait) couldn't just focus on the movie or her personal life without addressing this "sliver of fans”? 
Like if its so small and insignificant, don’t mention it, stop mentioning it, don’t give it light. But they just had to?! Add to that, they share these “theories”?! I mean I wonder how they got a whiff of these (are the PR tumblr spies real? haha!) and if they thought its nothing - please go back to the first part of this sentence. 
My god, the lengths to deny this is weird and crazy and not in a good way. What or how were they trying to portray her? What is the point? A C-list actress, shot to fame with Outlander, and now trying to crack A-list Hollywood but the perils of this “small” part of the fandom is something she could not stand? I mean if this “small” part is crazy, I think going all out Hollywood and unlocking that part of fandom will be worse?
If they wanted to keep that “side” of the OL fandom quiet, the best thing they could’ve done is let it be and let them fan. 
And to be honest, I’ve been / am in a lot of fandoms, so far, this is the only one that has made such a big a deal out of this. And it baffles me because 1.) THAT will always be a part of fandom, 2.) IT can be used to some advantage and sell if done right (idk why OL didn’t use it tbh. glad josh always does and tastefully, if i may add), 3.) they’re not the only ones or the only fandom experiencing this and I’m confused as to how and why they’re trying to make it seem like that.
I don’t know. I think it was super unnecessary to put that and worse, take a shot at the fans (no matter how “small” it is). Super unnecessary. It didn’t need a mention in that page. It was petty information that didn’t belong there. They could’ve just reinforced her quiet life with her husband and kid and focused on that and to tell that it was all real. No need to share the back side or story of this. I’d delete that if I was the editor, tbh.
Nevertheless, I still think she’ll earn her Academy Award nomination and honestly, I’m super happy for her if it does (if she wins, i’ll go super wow). I think she’s work really hard for the opportunities that came her way. Besides stuff like this, I do love and support her. 
✌️ ✌️ ✌️ ✌️
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arcadejohn127-9 · 3 years
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I read the Diavolos ball and angsty stuff, can I please please please get a happy ending to go with it?
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This has been a highly requested and I must give my poor followers comfort after this straight up angst
So everyone, let's get into it! Some hurt and comfort to soothe your hearts
Warning: angst, long
I'll be putting this under readmore as it is long and I have had someone before say they wanted me to add it on long posts, I never really got any feedback about what I could do better and how this will help with people's viewing but I understand why, long posts can be annoying
If you guys think I should do this with all my long posts please comment or dm me or even state it in asks/requests - I wanna do what I can to make things enjoyable for people
Part 1 - beginning
Diavolo's ball aftermath
It's been a few days since they've seen you; they expected to find you in the dorm. Some fear you went back to the human world; there was no messages, no note - there was nothing. You were completely gone.
Everyone was losing it. The brothers got more aggressively with each other, no longer able to have you come between them. Your presence was so soothing to all of them but now you were gone. As soon as they realized you were gone the whole air of the dorm shifted. It wasn't right.
Mammon got desperate to know where you were. He handed one of his crows a necklace he got you, you promised to never take it off. His heart shattered when he saw it was on your desk. He wasn't sure what he did wrong - why did you take it off? What happened to you?
It wasn't long before the crow came back to the devildom; reporting that you were in fact in the human world. The brothers were devastated. They had to tell the others and they had to watch the hopeful shine in their eyes die.
They could all feel thankful you were unharmed but you were so far. You did this to get away from them. You didn't even leave a damn note!
Diavolo ordered everyone to go to the human world. They all split up into different parties to get you, whoever could get you first had to interrogate you. It didn't take a genius to understand that the Noble told you something horrible - why else would you have such a reaction? Barbatos was tasked to 'calmly discuss' that night with said noble but regardless of how rough and merciless he was; he refused to talk.
It was wasting time and energy. If he wasn't going to talk then they had to get the answer from you. A few were able to gather the gist of what he told you from your conversation before you disappeared; you were convinced you were being used and just a replacement, a pawn to them.
They wanted the full story. The whole reason. Anything! Just to understand why you would push them away and disappear like this. What have they done to make the nobles words feel so real to you? They needed to fix it.
The demon brother's split into a team of two; eldest and youngest, the royals stayed together and the elder exchange students were a double team aswell.
The crows lead the teams their way, splitting up to different routes to see if they could circle you so they could talk to you even if you decided to run.
In the end they found you, you were across the pavement, a train coming. The pedestrian stop dinged as it commanded people to stop but the men couldn't help themselves.
"(Y/N)!!!"
You whipped around, shocked. You thought your ears were playing tricks on you but there was the boys. Your boys. Tears bubbled in your eyes. You couldn't believe it. They followed you to the human world.
The world slowed down; the wind blowing against you as your eyes widened at the sight of them. They looked exhausted, some even with tear streaked cheeks. The more impulsive bunch being held back so they don't go running towards you. The street lights illuminated all of you; their appearance looked just as broken as their hearts.
The train rammed itself between you all. Disturbing the moment with its blaring horn, the screeching wheels ringing in your ears. It was the second you had to decide; do you run? Or do you stay?
To let them get you and finally face your emotions or run away, avoid everything and keep letting despair consume you.
You stayed. You couldn't move at all. It was if you were glued to the spot. But you knew it was just your heart aching for them; desperate to hold them and cry out your pain.
As soon as they could, they all rushed to your side. Hugging you, grabbing at your arms and head to pull you close to them. You choked on your tears as you let the 11 men hug you and check your face and clothes. All just wanting to make sure you were really there and unharmed.
You missed them all dearly and you were so happy they missed you too.
But then the big question was asked.
"what happened that night?"
"he said he was happy to meet me...asked for a dance and I said yes, I never should of, he kept telling me I was just Diavolo's pawn, Lilith's replacement and convinced me none of actually cared for me....I believed him.....I felt so unsure and he knew so much about us I just couldn't stop the doubts in my head....I'm so sorry-!"
Lucifer:
He couldn't believe that noble said that to you
He hastily grabbed your face, wiping away your tears
"You will never be and never have been her replacement, you are your own person, your connection to our sister means nothing other than comfort that she was able to be happy and that's it - I apologize if we have made you feel like you are a replacement and have compared you to her.... please understand we just miss her very dearly but we all want you in our life more than anything."
You buried your face into his shoulder
Sobbing your heart out as you kept chanting apologies and gratitude in a broken voice
He silenced you, holding you close
The prideful demon hid his face as best as he could and let tears drip down his cheeks
He was so relived to have you back
It seemed that noble wasn't only going to be visited by barbatos
Lucifer was not known for being merciful
Mammon:
He grabbed your arm and hastily tugged you towards him
His other hand cradled the back of your head
"Don't ever run away again, you understand?! I'm supposed to be the one protecting ya and how am I supposed to do that if you're off running in different realms without telling anyone??!! That noble doesn't know anything! I don't know how he knew about Lilith but you ain't her, you're (Y/N) And that's it! You are your own person - you gotta call out my dumbass-ary if I compare or make you feel that way, I would never do it on purpose! I like you and only you! I can't lose you again!"
He pushed his forhead against yours
A shaky exhale leaving him
You tried to apologize but he cut you right off, hugging you closer
He was going to make that Noble pay for ever making you doubt yourself like this
To doubt how much he loves you
Levithan:
He was already crying
He was crying before you even considered crying
He rushed to you and grabbed your hands
"I got so scared I did something, Don't listen to that normie! Normies are losers for a reason! There's no one else I would want as my best friend - no one will ever be a better game partner than you! You always make me feel happy and proud to be me-! I couldn't ask for anything more from you! I miss Lilith but I miss you even more! You're my favourite person, you're not some replacement, you're you! You're my player 2-! I'm sorry if I made you feel like you're not as amazing as you are, please don't leave again!"
It wasn't long after his speech he hugged you
Squeezing you tightly as he relished in having you back in real life 3D
since you were gone he kept playing as your game avatars
Using ai set ups to feel like he was with you again in VR
That noble will not stand a chance against his fury
Satan:
He wasn't sure if he was mad at you or himself
It was most likely both - mad you left and let someone just destory so much work and progression in one meeting
But mad at himself for not making you feel secure
He couldn't bring himself to hug you but that was because he was scared he wouldn't let go
"I knew that Noble was nothing but a menace-! You can't listen to people like him, he's just trying to get to you and tear us apart - I don't know why he would do that but he isn't right, he will never EVER be right! You are yourself and never will be Lilith, I didn't get to me her or really know who she was but I do know you will never be her and never were her! I care so much about you and I will make sure to keep my stupid brothers to never make you feel that way again, I've missed you so much (Y/N)."
In the end, he fell into your arms
Holding you tight as he let out his tears of frustration go
You apologized but he just told you to shut up, he didn't want you to be sorry for being the victim
He already had plans on what he's going to do to that noble, trying to push those thoughts away
Focusing on how wonderful it is to have you close
Asmodeus:
As soon as he could reach you, he pulled you into an embrace
Shaking his head as tears streamed down
His makeup already starting to to drip along work his tears
"No! No! No! Noooo!! Don't listen to that horrible noble! He isn't right at all, he doesn't know anything about us or you! He obviously doesn't know how much we care about you and like you as your own person, I never meant to make you feel as if you were some sort of replacement! Lilith was her own being and so are you, your connection means nothing! I i will always be happy knowing my sister got to live the life she wanted but you aren't apart of that, your life is your own and you are nothing like her! I love you because you're you! I couldn't imagine ever loving someone as much as I love you, please come back to the devildom!"
He nuzzled his cheek against yours
Thankful to have you back in his arms again
He didn't like getting his hands messy but no one was going to make you feel that way ever again
He didn't care about that demons status
Beezlebub:
His hand landed on the top of your head
You flinched not expecting such a gentle pat but it only broke his heart more
"That noble knows nothing about you or any of us, he's turned my sister into an enemy to our relationship and I will not let that go on for any longer! You are not her and not her replacement, how dare he make you feel that way! you're apart of my family and I'll have it no other way, I really love you and missed you everyday you were gone - I was scared I'd never feel full again, you make me feel complete and when you disappeared I knew I wouldn't be able to protect you, I would of never forgiven myself if you got hurt! I want to always be able to protect you and have you by my side and make you feel happy - I promise I won't fail you again."
He almost fell to his knees once he was done
He was ready to swear to you on one knee, like a true knight
But instead hugged you
Mindful not to squeeze too hard but let himself be selfish and hold you tighter than he would normally dare to
He was one prone to be violent unless it was in sports or he was starved - the Noble starved him of your touch and kindness
He'll break more than just rooms once he gets his hands on that Noble
Belphegor:
He spun you to face him
Demanding
Needing your attention on him
It was only a few days but it felt like forever since he's had your eyes on him
"You're no pawn and no replacement, you are you and that's all I want, I don't want any one else, I know I've made you feel like a replacement - i did something horrible to you and then tried to make it seem like it was all okay after, I'm always trying to make up for that day but I know that is something that will always effect us! I missed you so much....you are your own person and you've helped me be a better person, come back home and let me make this right......you're all I want and need."
He broke down crying
Hanging his head low and it dropped onto your shoulder
He loosely held your waist whilst you gripped onto him tight
If everyone thought choking you was bad, just wait until they see what he plans to do with that noble
He couldn't stand seeing you so upset anymore
UNDATEABLES↓
Diavolo:
He gently held your arm
Giving it a small squeeze as tears built up
"He said all that? I'm sorry he made you feel like that, to feel such confliction and dread, You are never will be or were my pawn, you're a fantastic student and wonderful person who's did more than I've ever imagined Someone could do, if I could have asked you myself properly to be apart of the exchange program I would of but the world is not yet ready to merge and be aware of our existence.... please you have my deepest apologies and regrets that you felt this way and I've allowed such a person in my court, I will do whatever I can to make this right."
The tears finally fell and he became selfish
Hugging you tight against him, his fingers brushing against any skin he could touch
He couldn't dare to think how he'll be when you finally do leave the program
But until that time comes he needed to make it a good experience for you
If what barbatos did to him wasn't enough to convince him then he will not go back on his word
He'll fix this and do whatever he can to make all the pain stop
Barbatos:
He sighed in relief seeing you in the flesh
Knees buckling as he stood before you
His knuckles bloodied and bruised under his gloves
"I should of been more comforting when I found you, if I had known that was what he said I would of never let him be apart of the lord's court or be at that party, believe me when I say you are not a pawn or someone's replacement - you are so much more than that, you are you and someone that's made me feel closer to the present, to act quicker and stop using endless time as a excuse, I will fix this and make him regret ever uttering a word to you, I promise you."
Your touch was as gentle as ever
He caved, leaning against you
Happy to be able to make amends and fix the situation
The nobles dealt with him once and no matter what he did it wasn't enough
But he was merely holding back to be a gentleman, even if that noble now looks like a beaten raisin
It seemed he will have to do much worse to send everyone's message across
Solomon:
His face was gentle yet scolding
He gently brushed your cheek, wiping away a stray tear
"don't run off next time something like this happens, your life is so short and I hate to think would could happen if I lost you because you felt isolated even from me, you though you could find solace as both of us are humans but I was slow to understand your needs - you are deeply loved by everyone, I envy how much love you get and that's why I can't stand to see you run! I also love you and your presence, you have been so kind to me and I still have so much to teach you- please believe me when I say you're no one's pawn or replacement, you're important because you're you."
You crumbled completely
He hugged you as you apologized, calling yourself an idioit
But it only made him tsk, rubbing your back as he filled your ears with praises
He was sure the demons were going to rip that Noble to shreds but he couldn't help but desire his own revenge
Seeing you like this hurt him so much
Simeon:
He was so quick and gentle you could of mistaken him as a feather
He embraced you, cradling your head and rubbed soothing circles between your shoulder blades
"I was worried about you, I took you home and then I learn you've completely disappeared! No warning or note behind, you ran away - your feelings are extremely valid and I understand why you did this, It must of been so conflicting and you needed space to think and reflect, you're so strong (Y/N)! but you are also smarter than this, I feel ashamed knowing I haven't showed you how much I appreciate you being in my life and make sure you feel secure in the Devildom, I want to look over you but I've failed you already, that Noble does not know what he's talking about regardless of the information he has! I would never let anyone use you or let anyone treat you as some replacement, we all care so much about you."
He slightly swayed with you in his arms
Overwhelmed by his fears and the emotions that were rushing through him
He promised to never harm an innocent soul
That noble did not have one
He will leave the more physically destructive rage to the others
Wanting to merely talk and show the noble the error of his ways
Bonus:
You were back in the Devildom, Everyone was making sure to spend extra time with you. So happy to have you back and wanting to work on making you feel more secure. You couldn't stop how fast your heart was beating from all the overwhelming joy you felt.
It felt so good to be back. But you nagging worry remained in your head; what was going to happen to the Noble? you wished you could go up to him and yell at him. Prove him wrong and make him regret ever making you spiral like that.
When you brought up the idea, the men all looked at each other. A knowing look in their eye.
"I'm sorry, (Y/N) but I think it's best you don't see him but rest assured, we've dealt with him on your behalf and understand your wishes - let us know how we can help you feel resolved from that situation if this is unsatisfactory."
Diavolo answered. If it weren't the state the noble was in they'd happily let you chew him out but your heart and mind have been through enough already. No need to add on to the hurt with seeing what was left of him. They couldn't stand to see you upset again.
But you agreed, thanking them for their support and handling the situation. Unaware of their true actions. They all wished you a great day before going back to their own private meeting.
845 notes · View notes
makeste · 3 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 302: As the Todoroki Turns
Previously on BnHA: 
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Today on BnHA: We have a very fun chapter in which (1) Shouto grows up lonely on account of his parents being worried that his siblings will literally try to kill him, (2) Natsu and Fuyu grow up neglected on account of not being special and/or self-destructive enough to attract attention, (3) we get to revisit all of that exciting spousal abuse from chapter 39, and (4) Touya burns to death right on cue, pretty much exactly like we expected it to happen. Thankfully since this is a shounen manga, Horikoshi finds some hope in all this misery as the Todoroki family rallies together, with Shouto getting his long-overdue credit for being a perfect sweet angel who put up with all of this shit for sixteen years and somehow came out of it strong and kind and empathetic and determined. Anyway, so that flashback was a barrel of laughs. But now that it’s over, we can put all of that angst behind us, and move on to... well I guess, probably, more angst. Look, we’re short on variety at the moment. Bear with it.
ouch. we knew this was coming, but still
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A+ parenting move there. “ho boy, our eldest just tried to murder our youngest, now what? hmm how about we isolate our youngest from all human contact”
though in their defense, we probably shouldn’t have expected this rabidly strength-obsessed fire man and his wife who was groomed since childhood to obey her family’s whims to have any idea of how to raise stable, well-adjusted offspring
SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS
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this is a perfect example of Enji’s tragically self-revolving viewpoint right here. just because being a hero is your entire world doesn’t mean you can just excuse yourself from anything outside of that and act like it’s out of your control. “alas, all I care about is hero stuff and my son can’t be a hero, we are doomed to inhabit two different worlds” no you jackass, it’s called having more than one hobby?? figuring out how to spend some time with your son that doesn’t involve training?? the same exact thing you were telling him to do last week, while ignoring that you’ve never done that yourself in your life??
that said, yet again we have that complexity though because it’s obvious that Enji at least on some level is aware of his own flaws, even though he seems unwilling or unable to confront them. honestly, from what we’ve seen so far, Enji’s obsession with surpassing All Might might be more accurately called an addiction. he literally can’t let go of it even though he’s fully aware of how it’s slowly destroying his life. and so in the same way that a lifelong smoker or alcoholic might tell their child to stay away from cigarettes and booze, Enji tells Touya not to follow down the same path as him, even though he himself doesn’t know how to leave that path. so yes, it’s hypocritical as fuck, but there’s also an element of helplessness there as well because Enji literally doesn’t know how not to be like this
though all the same he sure could stand to put in more than just a token effort. but it is what it is, and we already know how much he’ll come to regret it
and meanwhile Baby Shouto has frozen his sleep bubble with his quirk lmao. so I guess his quirk did come in early. that’s a recipe for chaos right there
once again Shouto is ruining every single dramatic panel in this flashback
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this was so dark and intense... and then I spotted the lil bubs in the corner. Horikoshi please control yourself
“some hero you are, running away” and then all of a sudden, “FIVE YEARS LATER” lol what. OKAY THEN
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(ETA: love the confirmation that eight-year-old Natsu comes from the Iida school of puberty and is basically a fully grown man, and meanwhile Touya comes from the hobbit school of puberty and has been perpetually eight for the past five years.)
“HEY BIG BRO WANNA COME RECREATE AN ICONIC FLASHBACK SCENE WITH US. WE’VE GOT THE SOCCER BALL RIGHT HERE, BUT HURRY UP OR WE’LL BE TOO LATE FOR SHOUTO TO WALK ON BY AND STOP TO LOOK”
lol and that’s literally the next three panels. but Horikoshi did add this extra bit after Endeavor starts to drag Shouto away
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seriously Enji what the hell did you expect was going to happen here. “Touya went nuts and tried to kill his little brother out of jealousy, so let’s make it clearer than ever that Shouto is the important child and all the other children are just rejects. this will definitely not make the problem 100x worse, and will surely lead to Touya giving up and living a happy life, having been emotionally abandoned by the person he admired more than anyone.” good for you pal you figured it all out. no need for that plan b, “we all just go to therapy”
anyway so he’s telling Shouto he can’t play because he needs more endurance training. and meanwhile Touya’s patented Todoroki Drama Genes are going through puberty as well
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definitely the face of a happy, emotionally stable child who’s not still plotting to murder his younger brother in his sleep
“WELL ACTUALLY MAKESTE” lol I stand corrected??
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apparently during the five year interim Touya actually stopped blaming Shouto and realized Enji was the one at fault. good for him! a bit inconsistent, given what we know happens later, but I assume we’ll get to that in good time
anyway. “yeah man I agree that dad sucks, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m only eight and you’ve been monologuing for the past two hours bro”
LMAO
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the manga is making my jokes for me, only better. fine then
looks like someone’s still miffed about that disagreement he had with his baby sister back when she was like four
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“Fuyu doesn’t get properly riled up like I want her to so ranting to her is annoying.” okay but having been in Fuyu’s shoes, it really is just a different way of coping, and I can guarantee she’s not as fine with the whole situation as Touya might think. but making your peace with something is often a decision that’s made for emotional self-preservation reasons. and I sure as hell don’t fault her for trying to shut out a situation that she had no control over, and trying to make the best of it, and scrape together as normal a childhood as she could manage
and now in Touya’s defense as well, that is of course easier said than done, and I’m sure if there was a “push this button and instantly get over all of the trauma in your life” switch readily available for Touya then he would have pushed it too. unfortunately it’s not always that simple
so now Rei is pleading with Touya not to go train up on his little emo hill again, but it doesn’t seem like much has changed since he was eight
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I don’t think he gives two figs about being a hero; he just wants his father to look at him again with pride. fucking hell, stop doing this to me you damn Todorokis
guh, they keep telling him the same thing over and over again
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even if we hadn’t already known he was gonna go melt his jawbone off soon, I wouldn’t have expected a line like that to go over well
yep. fuck
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that Todoroki puberty angst, though. nothing else quite like it
“you have a part in this too, Mom” ooooooh man
okay but look, he’s not entirely wrong. like, I’m not saying any of this is Rei’s fault at all! she’s in an impossible situation where she’s afraid to stand up to Enji (who by this point has shown that he’s willing to physically attack her if things get too heated, which is terrifying), and doesn’t really have anywhere to turn for support. her parents aren’t helping much if at all, and Japan in general is just a terrible country to be in when you’re in a domestic abuse situation. everyone’s expected to put on a brave face and deal with their problems all on their own in private. Rei is basically completely isolated at this point, and she doesn’t know what else to do, and so she’s just trying to keep the situation as stable as possible for the kids
but on the other hand, “for the kids” is also where that argument starts to break down a bit, because at this point Shouto is also being physically abused by his father, and the other kids are continuing to be neglected (emotionally if not physically), as they have been for years. so the situation really isn’t stable at all for them. and as a kid, what you end up learning in that type of situation is that you can’t rely on either parent. not the abusive one, certainly, but also not the other one who can’t protect you from any of it. even if they love you and they’re trying, they’re just as helpless as you. Rei is struggling to deal with all of this with one hand tied behind her back, and I get it, and I’m not blaming her at all. but all the same, particularly given that she’s (understandably) putting almost all her focus on Shouto, the end result is that the other kids have basically been left to fend for themselves
so yeah! a shitty situation all around. and one of those cases where it’s not really anyone’s fault (aside from Enji’s), but I can understand the resentment Touya is feeling all the same. and I’m so glad Horikoshi is acknowledging this, because it’s something I probably would have been too uncomfortable to bring up otherwise. as it is it’s still an incredibly heavy subject, and one that I probably have too many personal feelings about
anyway, so once again the whole “we’ll try talking to him and then just shrug our shoulders when it doesn’t work” parenting strategy doesn’t really pan out for the Todoroki fam
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sob this boy is Anakin Skywalkering before our very eyes. all that’s missing is AFO to come and start whispering in his ear. any minute now...
“anyway so then he got taller and his fire changed from red to blue”
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guess we’re getting pretty close then huh. this is the part of the flashback that I really don’t want to see, but also unfortunately the part that I’m most curious about :/
oh for fuck’s --
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“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IGNORING HIM FOR FIVE YEARS DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM” sob. back to the drawing board I guess
I thought he got taller, why is he still only like a third of Enji’s height here
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oh fuck me these are armor-piercing feels. this is the heavy artillery right here
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ENJI I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE STOP AND THINK FOR ONE MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE DOING SOMETHING YOU’LL REGRET FOR THE REST OF ALL TIME. your child just told you that he still thinks beating All Might is the only thing you care about, and that he believes his existence is a mistake unless he finds some way of doing that for you. please stop for a moment to contemplate that and choose your next words with care and grace and oh who the hell am I kidding
-- OR WE COULD JUST BLAME REI
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go on and blame everyone but yourself then!! that’s a great solution!! jesus christ man I know this is Endeavor at his literal worst but still this is fucking hard to watch
POOR BABY SHOUTO IS YELLING AT HIS DAD NOT TO HIT HIS MOMMY THIS LITTLE BRAVE BOY NEEDS SO MANY HUGS OH MY GOD
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AND MEANWHILE THE OTHERS ARE HUDDLED IN THE NEXT ROOM TRYING NOT TO CRY AH FUCK
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(ETA: Fuyu covering Natsu’s ears cuts RIGHT TO THE CORE OF ME. Horikoshi if you’re really not gonna get these kids some therapy then at least consider giving your readers some. what is this.)
you know it’s bad when you’re starting to think the part where the kid burns to death might actually be a less traumatic thing to cut to right now
holy shit, actual Rei thoughts
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“I was the one who ultimately made that choice” well there we go, wonder if that’ll put that whole argument to bed at last. I doubt it, but you never know. actually who am I kidding it’s not gonna settle jack shit lol
oh thank god, they decided it was getting too intense and cut away back to the present to narrate this next (final?) part
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get ready to cue up that Alicia Keys. THIS BOY IS ON FIREEEEEEE
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yeah I think that’s one thing we can mostly all agree on. neither of them had any clue what the fuck they were doing pretty much at any point. though I will say that the hypocrisy of him being all “WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP HIM” followed by him IMMEDIATELY DOING THE EXACT SAME THING is a bit rich
(ETA: and he still has this problem, doesn’t he? he froze up when Ending snatched Natsuo, and again when Dabi was attacking Shouto. he’s so afraid of doing the wrong thing that he ends up not doing anything, which of course is exactly what led to Touya’s death. damn Enji I guess you’ve still got some additional character development to unlock.)
and of course neither of them could possibly have known how badly it was going to turn out. like, the consequences here were WAY disproportionate even for the shittiest of parenting. no one expects “I didn’t know how to talk to my son” to snowball into “my son burned to death and then somehow came back as a villain and murdered thirty people”
ohhhhhhhh fuck me
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LITERALLY INCINERATED THE ENTIRE HILLSIDE. fuck. and I am so not ready for the scene of Enji finding the remains of his jawbone afterwards. at least we were spared anything super-graphic (for now at least)
I feel like the timeline here is off, btw?? wasn’t Touya’s death supposed to happen after Rei got hospitalized? this might be the first actual retcon of the entire flashback. although I think it makes more sense this way tbh
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I do appreciate that ten years later Enji is finally reflecting on the fact that if he’d just given up his stupid obsession he could have stopped his family from crumbling apart. that probably sounds sarcastic as fuck, but it’s not. there are countless jerks out there who would have still managed to find a way to blame literally everyone and everything under the sun except for themselves. at least he finally figured out how to take responsibility, even if it came too late to stop his son from dying and being radicalized into a villain terrorist organization
and speaking of, it seems to me we’re missing a third and final part to this little tale of woe, and one which only Touya himself will be able to shed any light on. so we’ll see how that goes
oh man seeing the other kids blaming themselves even though none of it was their fault hits hard af. Rei wasn’t kidding when she said they’d been bearing that burden of guilt far longer than Enji
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SHOUTO I SWEAR TO GOD IF THE NEXT PANEL IS YOU APOLOGIZING FOR BEING BORN, I WILL... WELL I’LL BE VERY SAD, I GUESS. SO DON’T DO IT
oh good he’s just being quiet. good. it absolutely is not your fault lil bean. it’s not theirs either, but feeling guilty about things that aren’t your fault is a time-honored shounen tradition
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goddammit I braced myself for the angsty Shouto panel a page too early. gotta do it all over again now lol. okay here goes
;_;
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well well well would you look at that
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imagine that. talking things out with your child before they make a rash decision. looks like the Todorokis’ parenting skills are finally leveling up
OH MY GOD
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holy shit. this is the most quintessential moment of father/son Todoroki bonding in the entire series. for me it even tops the “nice scar” scene lol. Enji sobbing at the fact that he still has a chance to set things right. and Shouto offering his hand in what is actually the most mature and selfless gesture I’ve ever seen, and being all “we’ll stop him together” to his dad who he hates, but also doesn’t really entirely hate anymore. and all of that is incredibly moving... BUT ALSO HE STILL REFUSES TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM AND HE WOULD LIKE HIM TO STOP BEING SO FUCKING DRAMATIC ALREADY IF YOU DON’T MIND. “WHEN YOU’RE DONE CRYING...” fkjldsk
OH MY FUCKING LORD
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(ETA: wouldn’t be a Todoroki drama fest if there wasn’t somebody listening in on the whole thing in secret just around the corner lmao.)
“you think we should have waited somewhere else?” “yeah, probably.” “are you feeling a lot of secondhand embarrassment too?” “god, you have no idea.” STFU HAWKS IT’S NOT EMBARASSING TO BE MOVED TO TEARS BY YOUR FAMILY ALL COMING TOGETHER IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR TO GIVE YOU HOPE THAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T DESERVE BUT ARE NONETHELESS INDESCRIBABLY GRATEFUL FOR
and anyway you chose these guys as your found family, bucko. too late to back out now. next time go get yourself adopted by the Iidas then
AND MEANWHILE NO WORD ON THE WHOLE “HOW DID A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD SURVIVE A FIRE THAT COVERED HIS BODY WITH HORRIFIC SCARS AND MELTED HIS JAW OFF, AND HOW DID HE SOMEHOW THEN MANAGE TO GO INTO HIDING FOR TEN WHOLE YEARS, AND WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT INTERIM TO CHANGE HIS GOAL FROM ‘SURPASS ALL MIGHT TO IMPRESS MY DAD’ TO ‘KILL ALL HEROES TO MAKE MY DAD SUFFER’.” as if we don’t know the answer to that. but still, would it kill Horikoshi to just confirm AFO’s involvement in all of this already. at this point it’s basically just a formality
so here’s hoping next week we’ll either get that, or more Hawks action, or (DARE I EVEN SUGGEST, I’M AFRAID TO JINX IT) finally cut back to Bakugou and Deku and All Might omg. either way I’m hyped
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asterekmess · 3 years
Note
Did you ever watch Buffy? The first episode where Anya was introduced was titled "The Wish" and all I can think about is if Scott McCall had ever run into a pure Sidhe where they offered him a wish. Instead of, "I wish Buffy had never come to Sunnydale." It would be more, "I wish I was never bitten to become a werewolf." But just like all feaye tricks, the outcome is more, his Dad ended up with primary custody rather than his Mom and he was forced to leave BH. And then Stiles ended up more friends with Heather and others. And while Scott's life is worse, when he tracks down the others he finds all of theirs are greatly improved.
I think about it a lot and how Scott never really dealt with the consequences of any of his actions, everyone else did, and how an episode or mini-arc could have fixed a flaw in the show's design. I mean, we were already dealing with a lot of Celtic lore, why not someone from the Sidhe courts?
I have no idea why this took me so long to answer, so apologies for that. <3 I did watch buffy! I've seen all of it, and all of Angel as well. XD
I remember 'The Wish' episode, and whoooo boy it gave me chills. I loved how big the butterfly effect was, how something that seemed so small, something that Genuinely seemed to be the cause of a lot of problems in Sunnydale, ended up being so important to how things had progressed. Because, yeah, you would think Buffy not coming to Sunnydale would be a Good Thing, right? Sunnydale didn't have all of these insane issues before she arrived. It was quiet, and nothing big or scary ever happened. Her arrival matches perfectly with when everything started going absolutely nuts, so whatever selfish ideas Cordelia had, her thought that Buffy not coming to Sunnydale would be a good thing, makes sense. Except that, as she finds out, she's entirely wrong. Buffy's arrival was a lucky coincidence, or fate, whatever your taste leans toward. She showed up right as things started going nuts, and she kept it from going SO MUCH MORE NUTS.
Now, moving on to TW, it is a fascinating mix of being the Exact same situation, and the exact Opposite. I'll add a Read More, cus' holy god is this a lot of Rambling.
Because Scott wishing not to have been bitten...yeah, the bite Did improve things. But it improved things for him. He would absolutely regret making the wish, just like Cordelia did, because he would realize how many good things the bite had brought with it. BUT, conversely, he would have to realize how many good things the bite had brought for him, not for other people, and how their lives either wouldn't have been affect, or might've even Improved without him being bitten. Without the bite, Scott wouldn't have gotten on first line, period. His health issues made very clear in the five minutes he had them that any kind of stamina based sport was just out of the question for him. If he is unable to walk through the woods at a moderate pace without needing to grab his inhaler and stop against a tree, he just plain cannot play lacrosse for two or three hours of running at high speeds and working a bunch of muscles in his upper body. He likely wouldn't have gone out with Allison, because he would have no convenient way to get her attention. Furthermore, he wouldn't have the extra senses that both impressed her on the lacrosse field, and told him about her 'family dinner' the night of Lydia's party. (I've discussed this before, but... While it's true, Allison would have still brought him the dog; that dog would likely have attacked him, and his chances with her would have been shot in the foot when they both got in massive trouble and he likely had to go to the ER for stitches or something. Without Allison or first line, he wouldn't have started hanging out with the 'cool kids,' and quite frankly, wouldn't have had anyone to help him study for the classes he was struggling with. It's true that he also wouldn't have had werewolf things to worry about, or even a girlfriend to distract him from homework, so maybe that wouldn't have been such a huge issue, but still.
If we look at other people's lives and how They would have been affected by Scott not getting the bite...well, let's talk about that.
Stiles didn't get on first line because of Scott, or because of a werewolf bite. Or even because of the werewolf bullshittery occurring in town. He was put on first line because of his abilities, and even after being taken OFF first line for missing the game, he was put Right onto the field in the next game, chosen OVER other players who were perfectly viable options. Which means, he still would've ended up on first line. Allison wasn't interested in dating before she met Scott, and part of her draw to him was based on how 'different' he was. He knew things she didn't know how he could know, he had a weird ability to calm a furious, injured dog, and he had charisma that was ALSO gained from the bite, since being on first line made Scott Much more self-confident. If she didn't end up dating him, it's likely she wouldn't have dated at all. Which would mean no hiding from her parents, no strange conflicts of interest, AND, interestingly enough --depending on her involvement in the murders, etc that would still be occurring in town--no night in the school that would scare her bad enough to ask Kate for extra help and tip her headfirst into hunter training. AND, even if she DID still end up getting those lessons from Kate? There would be no bitterness to fuel her behavior at the end of season 1.
Allison was Traumatized after Kate showed her Derek on the grate. She was horrified, and didn't know what to do about it, and while we can ramble all we want about the morality of her not confronting her family (whom she's just discovered is willing to electrocute people) about it, the fact is that she pushed the thoughts aside to stop freaking out and went to that dance. Where she found out Scott was a werewolf, and was So fucking Betrayed that she was willing to help Kate catch him and Derek. No Scott, no betrayal, no willingness to help Kate recapture the miserable man who'd been chained up in a basement.
If we go back to that specific night, and try to unfold the events from there if Scott hadn't been bitten, things get a little complicated, but I'll take a few artistic liberties. Scott isn't bitten. Presumably, he just happens to get out of the woods in time, or he gets caught with Stiles by the sheriff, or doesn't go to the woods in the first place. These all change the possible outcomes of that night. If he hadn't gone in the first place, and Stiles went alone, would he have been bitten instead? Would Scott have been dragged into all of this anyway, but without the protection and boost of being a werewolf and cured of his asthma? If he weren't the one bitten, and he saw everything Stiles gained from it, would he still have such a hatred for the bite? Or would he want it, like Erica did, to cure him and make him powerful and cool? But, let's assume Stiles doesn't get bitten either. The second half of Laura's body still hasn't been found, and Stiles has no reason to fear running back into the preserve the next day, and no real punishment from his father as far as we can tell. So, does he go back to look again? If he did, he would run into Derek, because Derek would still be there after retrieving Laura's body himself. He would see Derek and still recognize him, and from there, things might spiral, still involving Stiles in the supernatural, and it's likely Stiles would try to involve Scott, and Again we get hit with "Would Scott want the bite, if he hadn't gotten forcibly bitten in the first place?" The answer is probably yes. He wanted to be cool, and popular, and on the lacrosse team. He wanted everything being a werewolf gave him. BUT if we're looking at this wish as similar to "The Wish," then no matter what, Scott won't be bitten. He'll be transported to a new world where it just never happened, and he'll be human, and forced to watch everyone around him be just plain different. Scott not being bitten would isolate him from Stiles, if Stiles got involved in the spn anyway. We SAW how Stiles cut off his other friends once the spn starting getting in the way. He and Harley? We have no clue how close they were. They were close enough for her to tease him about his crush on Lydia, for her to wander up comfortably to the locker and talk to them. And he cut her off as soon as the werewolf stuff hit. What if he cut Scott off? To protect him, if nothing else, like he did his own father. Once he realized the danger involved, I doubt he would be willing to put Scott in harm's way.
So, Scott would not only lose first line, lose his girlfriend, lose his popularity, lose his health and strength and heightened abilities, lose his 'importance' to the goings-on of Beacon Hills, but he would also lose Stiles, who seems to have been his only friend, unless he also had a relationship with Harley.
Okay, I've rambled enough about the what if's, so let's talk about the Reason why this wish would go so badly for Scott, in such a different way than it went for Cordelia. Cordelia, first off, wished that someone Else would not have/do something, rather than wishing for herself not to have done something. She watches how fucked up the world gets, and how much worse her life is without Buffy around to save the day. Scott wished for Himself not to have done something (even something passive, like 'get bitten') and would have to watch how fucked up his world gets, and how far behind he would fall. The other's lives might not necessarily get better, because Peter is still on the loose, and the hunters are still there, etc etc, but they would still Progress, while Scott would stay stagnant.
And WHY is that? Because Scott isn't important to the story. It DOESN'T start with him. That's the Whole Point of his character. He is supposed to be the 'everyman' who gets dragged into crazy shit and becomes integral to things that he wasn't ever meant to be a part of. The guy who wanders into becoming King or 'The Hero' that will save the world, even though he's just a small lad from a tiny town, whose highest prospects were "get on first line."
He was NEVER supposed to be Buffy, or if he was, it was done Very Badly.
But Beacon Hills WASN'T a quiet town before Scott was bitten; however much he might've said 'nothing ever happens in this town.' It was FULL of bullshittery and magic from the very beginning. There was the fire, and Paige, and the blinding of Deucalion, and the death of Alexander Argent, and the Nogitsune in the internment camp nearby. All of these things were around So much longer than Scott's bite, and they'd been affecting the world that whole time too. Because yes, in Buffy, the master was There before she was, but he was literally rendered inert by the situations he was in. And the things he'd done happened Centuries before, not six years. There is a difference. Sunnydale was Not Known for the insane number of weird deaths. Beacon Hills was. And aside from the Nogitsune, every single fucking thing that happened in Beacon Hills, was attuned to the Hale family in one way or another. Deucalion's blinding occurred during a meeting on Hale land, because Talia was known as a wise leader, etc, in the area and other wolves flocked to her. Deucalion biting Argent seems unrelated (if you even believe Deucalion did that, despite being a fucking pacifist before Gerard blinded him), but again, it occurs just a couple hours away from Beacon Hills, which is Hale Territory. The one who plays the Buffy role here? Who shows up at just the right time, and launches themself against an endless wave of evil, with slightly enhanced senses and a thorough need to do good and not back away from things that 'aren't they're problem'? The actual hero who is somehow tied to everything going on in ways even they don't understand? Was Derek. The guy who entirely unwittingly allowed Julia Baccari to survive, because he was trying to be merciful to his first love. Who entirely unwittingly was manipulated into giving up information that let a hunter kill his family. Who followed his sister back to town after six years of just trying to survive in New York, fell into a fucking tragedy, and decided to stop the bad guys anyway, even though he knew he didn't stand a fucking chance.
And as annoyed as some might get. The 'everyman' who stumbles onto the set and accidentally becomes integral to the saving of the world? The one whose ambitions are small and who expectations are smaller? Who is misunderstood, and has abilities that aren't recognized or appreciated, that doesn't really fit in, but tries their best anyway? The literal Angel to Derek's Buffy?
Is fucking Stiles. The son of the sheriff who just could not let it go when he discovered there was something funky going on. Who hung around on the edges, even though he wasn't really wanted, because he needed to help. Who ended up saving Derek's life over and over, and becoming so important as to be Derek's anchor? Who literally WENT DARKSIDE and HAD TO BE NEARLY KILLED, even though Derek didn't to kill him???
I know how it sounds, but JD SAID he took inspiration from Buffy. The issue is that his parallels are between DEREK AND STILES, and BUFFY AND ANGEL. Respectively.
Derek might act like the broody bad boy, but it is STILES' mentality that matches Angel's behavior, and it's Derek who matches Buffy.
I'm so fucking off track. Scott would be miserable if he ever managed to get a wish and used it to keep from having been bitten. And it would be sad. I would feel bad for him, had I watched something like that happen. Seeing him realize that most of the good things he had, he only got because of the bite. That Stiles would still be on first line, that Lydia and Jackson would still be the popular kids. That Allison wouldn't know he existed, or if she did would avoid him entirely. That Jackson would never have been turned into the kanima in the first place. That everyone else would move on and up in life, and he would still be standing at the bottom step. Because it wasn't his actual limitations that were holding him back, it was his refusal to accept them, to work with them, and to just plain stop Envying Everyone Around him, and start living his own fucking life instead of trying to steal other people's.
Scott wishes he were Cordelia, and I promise that would backfire too.
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nanowrimo · 3 years
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5 Tips for Finishing Your Novel
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April’s session of Camp NaNoWriMo is drawing to a close, and you might find yourself nearing the end of your novel. If you need some tips on writing and polishing the ending of your story, author Derek Murphy is here to share a few! Plus, you can check out the rest of our novel-finishing resources on our #NaNoFinMo page. 
You won NaNoWriMo and have a 50k collection of scenes and sentences, but how do you clean it up and get it done? How do you make sure it’s finished, satisfying and enjoyable? Here are 5 powerful strategies for finishing your novel and some helpful writing tips that will push you past the finish line.
1. Give it a satisfying resolution.
In order to have a powerful story, your book should probably focus on a main character’s change or transformation. There’s an inner war, a.k.a. the character’s emotional healing, and an outer war: the conflict that forced the reckoning. If it’s a purely symbolic internal realization, you can mirror that with actual conflict in the real scene: the breaking of a dish, a fit of rage, a sudden ray of sunlight (or a storm… this should not be pleasant; It’s a breaking point and spiritual death/rebirth).
You can clarify the moment of change by setting up an illustrative contrast, a before and after, that shows how those internal changes have resulted in real-world consequences or benefits. Each character’s unique challenge will match their personal weakness or fear. The price for victory is the one thing they have so far refused to do, or something they cannot give up or bear to lose.
Make sure your protagonist has gone through a transformative struggle to arrive at deep insights, knowledge or awareness. Find a way to deepen the incidental scenes so that they become instrumental to a deeper purpose, leading towards an identity-shifting event.
The plot is what happens, and it’s important. But you can make it more dramatic and meaningful by making sure you demonstrate how hard it was and what it cost. It matters, it is remarkable, because it forced your protagonist to change.
Your conclusion might include:
Physical tension as allies perform a tug-of-war battle against resistance, that shows how difficult this struggle is, and how much force is required.
The consideration phase, as characters are tempted last minute or the price for victory is revealed: the sweet memories that give them awareness that this fight is worth the cost or risk (you need to show them making the choice, knowing what they will lose).
The final flashback, as the full backstory is revealed so we can see exactly why this conflict is so difficult or meaningful for the main character.
2. Add (unresolved) conflict.
Your story is made up of the events and scenes, where something happens. Each new event will push the characters further into the plot. Slow scenes where nothing is really happening can be red flags, so the first thing to focus on is increasing conflict, drama, suspense and intrigue. This is what creates urgency. The full reveal, demonstrating why THIS challenge is so difficult and powerful, should happen just before the final battle or resolution.
You want to make sure every scene, especially in your conclusion, has enough conflict. I recommend these three:
Outer Conflict (threats): Challenges or obstacles that prevent the character from achieving goals.
Inner Conflict (doubts): Moral struggles, decisions, guilt or shame, anger.
Friendly Fire (betrayal): Strong disagreements between allies or supporting characters. 
You want to extend and deepen the potential conflict, without resolving it too easily. The biggest destroyer of conflict is conversation: when your characters just sit around and talk to each other. Most conflict involves a lack of information, and a desire for clarity. A lot of conflict is perceived or imagined.
The most important information needs to come last, and come at a great price. The information that has an emotional impact, and influences their actions and decisions, should be big reveals at dramatic peaks. A surprise or twist should be treated as an event: each scene is leading towards a change or new piece of information that provokes the protagonist to respond.
3. Fill plot holes with character motivation.
After you’ve made sure that “what actually happens” is intriguing (opening questions and raising tensions without resolving them) you can focus on making sure the plot holes are filled, and characters are properly motivated – these two things are usually adjacent.
You can find and fill plot holes by asking:
Why are the characters doing this?
Why does any of it matter?
Basically, readers need to respect the main characters enough to care what happens to them, so their choices and actions need to make sense within the given information. If there’s a simpler, easier solution, readers will get stuck up on “why didn’t they just…”? To fix plot holes and gaps in logic or continuity, or make the story go where you need it to, you can add urgency, fix the mood of the scene (bigger stakes require bigger justifications), show characters in a weakened mental state, or raise concerns but have them dismissed, with an excuse or justification.
You need rational characters to make plausible choices that lead to dire consequences. You need show why they don’t do something easier, or nothing at all, or why they face clear challenges, despite potential obstacles.
They’ll also require a deeper motivation, for why they’re willing to put themselves in identity-destroying conflict, rather than just giving up or running away. Why do they stay in THIS fight, when they’ve run from similar ones? If they weren’t ready at the beginning, why are the ready now – what changed in them, as a result of your story’s journey?
Your protagonist needs to have a strong, consistent internal compass, and it needs to be revealed through incidents that establish their character. This is who they are. Without this reliable core identity, we won’t be able to tell a story that forces them to change. 
4. Let readers picture your story with detailed description.
In the final stages of revision, you can begin improving the description with specific details.
It’s smart to start – or end – a chapter with a vivid, immediate scene. You want to leave readers with an image they can see in their minds, hopefully connected to the feeling you aim to evoke. You can close a chapter with a reference back to a motif or image, with a deeper or more reflective context; applying meaning to the metaphor. This will help readers feel engaged, be moved, and leave a lasting impact.
Vivid scenes are mostly a matter of detailed description, so add the specifics about the story environment. Be precise, not vague. Instead of “she put a plate of tea and snacks on the table” you can write “she gently placed an antique porcelain teapot on the table. I could smell it was Earl Grey from the scent of bergamot. The half-sleeve of Oreos and can of onion-flavored Pringles seemed incongruous with the fancy dishes, but I knew she was making an effort to welcome me.”
Focus on the sensations and feelings; but also zero-in on any potential sources of conflict or internal emotions or states of mind. In my example above, the host might be nervous or ashamed of her spread; or perhaps she has a degenerative brain disease and doesn’t notice the incongruity. Tensions are unspoken, potential sources of negative feelings. They hover in the background of your description.
Readers will remember the pictures you put in their heads, not the words on the page.
Description should serve and be bound to the story, not distract from it.
It should be squeezed into and around the scene action, when the protagonist is using or exploring.
Show what’s different, not what’s the same.
Leave space for readers to fill in the gaps, but get them started in the right direction so they aren’t surprised later.
Sidenote: be careful about your metaphors, analogies and similes. Each one will put a picture into readers’ minds, and it can quickly get overcrowded with imagery. You’re asking them to ignore your real scene and think of something else. Use them to confirm and amplify the scene you have, and limit distractions.
5. Prepare to publish.
Typos are bad, but perfectionism will ruin you. This section is about editing and proofreading, but I don’t have time for all that, and you don’t either. The real problem with a story is rarely the number of typos. A very clean book isn’t better if people stop reading.
You can solve a lot of common writing problems, with my big list of 25 common writing mistakes, and self-edit your manuscript to make it as good as possible. After that, a copyeditor or proofreader isn’t always the best investment (and it can also be the biggest publishing cost).
Instead, use an editing software (I like Grammarly) to root out obvious mistakes, but don’t dwell on the small stuff like perfecting every word or rearranging the commas. Spending a very long time wrestling a poorly-written manuscript in shape is less effective than getting something (actually) done to the point where you’re comfortable sharing it.
This may be difficult at first, but you can’t learn and improve without genuine reader feedback (from people who aren’t your mom or best friend; nor the short-sighted opinions of a self-proclaimed literature enthusiast). You need to find readers who enjoy your particular genre, and the sooner you find them, the more valuable feedback you can get.
Shorten the feedback loop: Get over the fear and focus on learning by getting feedback early and often. However, this doesn’t just mean joining a writer’s club: writers are brutal and might focus on trivial things. The safest bet is to make it public, on Wattpad at least. Or get a cheap cover and throw it up on Kindle, Draft2Digital or even your own blog.
Making it public is scary and vulnerable, but it’s better than letting the fear of messing up keep you from the brutal, necessary experience of allowing readers to tell you what they liked and disliked about your writing. Will some people be critical? Yes! But guess what, you’ll get negative reviews even if you’re a brilliant, famous writer. Those are inevitable. And the first negative reviews may teach you more about writing than 10 years attempting to self-edit, afraid of putting your book out into the world.
PS. You can use resources, like my 24-chapter plot outline, as a way to spot story gaps in your manuscript and improve the structure (especially if your book suffers from a “soggy middle.)
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Derek Murphy has a PhD in Literature, writes urban fantasy and is the founder of the alliance of young adult authors. More recently, he’s started sharing writing tips on http://www.writethemagic.com
Top photo by Adegbenro Emmanuel Dipo on Unsplash.
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Love Cuts Deep
Chapter 10- These Are Strange Times
Summary: Could something positive be truly on the horizon? With the random intrusion of though-to-be-dead Scott Lang at the Avengers Facility, your hope for seeing Bucky again may have yet to be a possibility.
Warning: yeah nothing enjoy the ride
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-Five years since the Blip-
Throwing on a dark sleeveless top, you suddenly feel the overwhelming urge to sneeze which evidently causes your little furry companion to startle at the unexpected noise. The furry tigress lets out a meow of protest that pulls forth a humored snicker from you, while the little beast sends you an annoyed look.
Recovering her bearings in a flash, she walks across the short wooden dresser like a model strutting on the runway, her thick mane of mahogany and dark chocolate fur glossy and adequately brushed to perfection, just how your spoiled Main Coon, Silver, likes it.
She purrs happily as she begins playing with Bucky’s dog tags that lay across the small dresser top.
“What are you do..? Oh give me that you little shit.” Silver ignores you until she’s rudely lifted and placed firmly on the carpeted floor before you snatch up the valuable memorabilia. Placing it around your neck where it belongs then glancing down to give her a casual shrug, “Don’t give me that look Silv, I bought you a cool bird feathered cat toy like three days ago. What happened to that?” Silver meows, running her head against your worn out old boots as you smile, “Guess it’s as good as dead huh, you little beast. Now you staying or coming with me to find Nat?” Nothing but purrs of affection.
You lean down to gently rub her head before standing up fully and heading for the door, Silver hot on your heels. Soon you’re both traveling down the hallway until you finally reach the large study. Natasha’s on a conference call with Carol, Rodney, Okoye, and the last two guardians of the galaxy, Rocket and Nebula. And by the looks of it, nothing new has been reported. How disappointing.
Soon they all log off, leaving Natasha alone with Rodney who stays to give Nat a little insight into Barton’s violent whereabouts from the last couple years since he’s been rouge. Apparently he took out a whole cartel in Mexico, so he’s been busy. Definitely not keeping up with those group therapy sessions Steve makes you go to to help cope with the loss. Not that you’ve actually been that consistent with them if we’re being real here.
Quickly enough, Rodney logs out, leaving a tearfully conflicted Natasha as she slouches in her comfy swivel chair. Head in her hands as she holds back the waterfall that threatens to spill within her. You take a step forward, leaning casually against a steel rimmed display area for random nick-nacks. “I’d join you in the fun, but I’m limiting my crying sessions between 1 and 2 in the morning on Tuesdays. So, uh....I brought Silver.” You smile, pointing a finger down to your loyal companion, “Well I guess she brought herself but you know.”
Natasha breaks out into a reluctant grin, genuinely happy to have a bit of positive company within her gloom, “And you didn’t even want her to begin with.” Laughs the red head, “Now I never see one without the other.”
You nod with an almost shy smile, “Yeah, she’s alright.” 
You hear soft movement making its way through the hallway behind you just as Silver meows when Steve casually saunters into the room, coming to stand next to your side as the furry beast paws at his shoes, “What are you here for? Doing some laundry?” You tease at the tall blonde.
Steve smiles at your little jab since he’s not usually always present, doing Captain America stuff and whatnot, “Just here to see some friends.”
Natasha chuckles through glossy eyes, “Well clearly your friends are doing just fine.” Steve knowingly nods paired with a small smile, both you and Natasha look relatively well kept and functional as usual. It’s just, there’s a palpable pain and hidden darkness that always appears to simmer lowly on the surface. Just enough for a skilled eye like Steve’s to notice.
“Exactly.” You add, wandering over to sit cross legged on Natasha’s desk as Steve moves to lean against the display, “But if you’re here to tell us to look on the bright side...”
“I’m gonna hit you in the head with this peanut butter sandwich.” Finishes Natasha with a pursued lipped grin as the 90 year old nods. “Um, right. Force of habit.” Admits Steve, pushing himself off the surface to find a seat next to you and directly across from Natasha. 
The three of you keep to a mutual silence for a long moment until he finally speaks, “You know,” Starts Steve thoughtfully, “I keep telling everybody they should move on...and grow. Some do.” He pauses for a moment as you frown, Natasha looking elsewhere as Steve finally continues, “But not us.”
She shakes her head, “If we move on, who does this?”
“Maybe it doesn’t need to be done.” Suggests Steve, he means well of course, but maybe he’s right after all, its been five fucking years with absolutely nothing to make for it. Nothing of any significant progress or even a possible way to fix what's happened. 
Natasha blinks through bleary eyes of saddened green while you pet Silver’s furry mane, refusing to give in to that notion, “No.” You whisper softly, causing them to look at you, “We can’t, it wouldn’t be right...at least,” You let out a gentle sigh, “at least not for me....before all of this, before I met all of you. I had nothing.” You admit thoughtfully, “Not a soul in the world who gave a damn whether I lived or died. Then I found Bucky, then I found this. This.....family. And because of it, I’m better off now then I was ten years ago.”
They keep a respectful silence as your breaths become shaky, teary eyes now trained onto Silver’s little ears, “And I know they’re gone now, believe me I fucking know it, but I’m still trying to be better.” Natasha nods in deep understanding, a couple stray tears falling down her cheeks as Steve crosses his arms.
“I think we all need to get a life.” He muses, his tone light as he tries to pull you two back from the edge of grief. You give him a friendly nudge at his annoying brotherliness, “You first.” He chuckles as you throw him a playful glare while Natasha checks an incoming call.
“Oh, hi! Hello! Is anyone home?” Speaks a man frantically from one of the security cameras, an orange van behind him, “This is, uh, Scott Lang. We met a few years ago at the airport.....in Germany?” Now you’ve got his attention.
“What the fuck?” You mutter in bewilderment at the blue tinged image of Scott as Steve and Nat share a confused glance, the three of you quickly rising to your feet while Scott keeps talking about who he is, how he got here, and what he’s learned about the world so far.
“Is this an old message?” Wonders Steve as he studies the image of Scott who’s still waving his hands up at the security camera.
“It’s the front gate.” Replies Natasha with a hopeful smile.
——
All you came here to do was shoot the shit with Natasha and maybe make some actual dinner, but here you are, laying across the study’s plush couch as Scott rambles on and on about the quantum realm. Whatever that happens to actually be, you’ve never heard of anything like that before, but then again you didn’t know aliens existed at one point. So perhaps anything's possible.
Silver brushes her fluffy head across your fingers as they dangle over the couches edge while Scott keeps at his long-winded tellings of how he got there, what it was like, that he’s been technically gone for only five hours, and now he thinks there’s a way to enter this new plane of existence and travel to a fresh alternate reality. Like through a time machine type deal, or whatever he’s on about.
Apparently he means one before Thanos. But it honestly sounds like a load of horseshit and gibberish coming from a desperate man refusing to acknowledge that this is the new shit reality. There’s no fucking way that’s even goddamn possible, right? No way. 
Maybe?
Drifting back out of your doubtful thoughts, you swiftly move yourself into a seated position as Scott begins to self doubt. Head lowering as he mumbles about how crazy that it. You start chuckling as he throws you an almost embarrassed look. “Scott.” You speak to gather his attention, “Nat gets emails from a raccoon. Your idea is admittedly a bit nuts, but nothings that crazy anymore considering all the wild shit I’ve witnessed in the past six years. So I don’t know, maybe there’s a way.”
Scott flashes a hopeful smile as his brows furrow in thought, uncertainty seeping right back into him, “So, uh...who do we talk to about this?”
——
“Stark! Miss us?” You shout at Tony as he holds Morgan in his left arm, an Ironman helmet grasped firmly in the right. He gives the four of you a less then enthusiastic nod of acknowledgment before wordlessly turning around and taking a step up onto the wooden porch.
You give Steve a shrug, “He misses us I can tell.”
Soon Tony let’s Morgan go off to play with you as you opt in to be the babysitter slash distraction from the grownups who are currently discussing if time travel and gathering the stones for ourselves is even a possibility, or even a palpable option that can be done. You skillfully listen to everything they’re saying as the little Stark shows off her array of multiple plant-life assortments picked from the local greenery.
“So I got this cone from that tree over there and then I put a frog in a glass but dad said I had to let him go so I did.” Babbles on the five year old as you entertain her constant musings.
You raise a brow, knowing her shenanigans all too well, “Is he in the garden?”
She mischievously smirks, sneakily peaking over at Tony who’s seated up on the porch, before giving you a nod, “Yeah. I made him a little house from some flat rocks I found too. I named him Froggo.”
You chuckle, “Oh really, Froggo? I like it, has a nice ring to it.” She nods in delight before walking into her tiny tent to retrieve something new as you catch either Scott or Steve saying something about a time heist, what the hell are they going on about now?
“Y/N! Look at this!” Calls Morgan excitedly while bursting out of the tent to run on short legs over to you who’s seated comfortably in the grass, “I got a cool rock from the lake but I didn’t get to show you last time cause you left early.”
Raising your brows in surprise, though you don’t exactly feel as thrilled as she is, you make sure she knows you care, “Woah! A cool rock from the lake, why Morgan I gotta see this.”
“Look.” She hands you a dull grey rock with a tiny fossil shell indentation on it, “It’s from the dinosaurs.”
Examining the small round object, you nod, “Next thing you know I’ll come back to a whole dinosaur excavation site. Impressive Professor Grant, I’m thoroughly amazed.”
She giggles in excitement, “Y/N I know what that means now.” You give her an inquiring look as she smiles proudly, “That’s from Jurassic Park.”
“And your dad let you watch that, with the big Trex eating the goat and everything?” You tease before handing her the prized object, “Next thing I know you’re going to have a whole dinosaur skeleton in your house.”
“Yeah that would be cool. Thanks ninja turtle.” Cackles Morgan as she hugs her rock, smiling brightly as you throw her a puzzled look before joining in on the laughter. “Okay, now you’ve lost me kid, I can’t say I have any idea what you’re talking about.”
She shrugs innocently, “Dad told me to call you that.” Clearly not understanding what she just called you either. A ninja turtle? The fuck is a ninja turtle?
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” You muse before looking up to the four of them getting closer to a heated discussion, “Alright Morgs let’s go save your dad before he decides never to invite us back for dinner again.” You add, quickly rising to your feet as she laughs before racing past you, on a beeline for Tony.
You choose to stay out of the conversation and instead wait for Steve, Natasha, and Scott to start walking back towards the car. You lean against the metal as Steve round the corner before catching your eye as he goes down the three steps, “Are we banished from the castle? I was kinda hoping not cause I actually like Pepper’s cooking.”
Steve smiles, “No. He’s not gonna help us is all.”
“Damn that’s shitty.” You retort with a tinge of genuine disappointment, you don’t completely believe this shit is even possible. But dammit if you don’t want them to at least try for all it’s worth. “So what now? I’m guessing you bastards aren’t gonna let this go anytime soon. And cause Tony’s out for the count, we obviously need some different brain power.”
Steve nods while walking closer to the car, “We wanna do this right. So, yeah, we’re gonna need a really big brain.”
Scott turns from Steve to point a thumb in Tony’s general direction, face a mask of confused puzzlement, “Bigger then his?”
-
After a less then pleasant adventure to some cozy little diner in New Jersey where the four of you were subjected to Banner in his weird Hulkness body or whatever the hell he is now. Turns out he was most definitely on board for this time traveling experimentation. Of course he was, the weirdo takes fucking selfies with children nowadays. 
So here you five are now, in the giant glass and metal garage of the Avengers Facility getting things ready for whatever nonsense is about to take place next. The back of Scott’s orange van closed for the moment, keeping hidden some reactor core thing behind its doors. Scott in some safety quantum realm suit while Banner and Natasha stand behind a large intricate assembly of high tech equipment in preparation for the events to hopefully follow.
You keep an amused yet genuinely curious stance off to the side as Bruce gives you a thumbs up, nodding, you face Scott who’s walking over to the van. “Okay, here we go. Time travel test number one everybody! Scott get that bitch open!” You shout with a small bout of rare enthusiasm while he opens up the doors.
“Emergency generators are on standby.” Announces Steve as he walks into view from behind some large plastic containers covered in safety rope.
Banner nods, “Good, because if we blow the grid, I don’t wanna lose, uh..” He points a green thumb at Scott who’s getting his helmet ready, “Tiny here in the 1950’s.”
Scott’s head snaps up in an instant, “Excuse me?” He worries.
Natasha smiles while looking down at her touch pad, “He’s kidding.” She sing songs before shaking her head up at Banner, “You can’t say things like that.”
Banner turns around to face a fearful Scott as you snort at the small bout of humor that you did happen to find rather amusing. Then again, you’re not the labs guinea pig, so instead you casually shrug while giving Scott a half persuasive grin and a thumbs up of reassurance, “Bad joke.” You add as Bruce nervously laughs, “Yeah, it was a bad joke.”
Scott nods apprehensively before turning to walk over to the reactor, appearing to believe the two of you, “You were kidding, right?” Asks Natasha as you raise a brow at Bruce in question. Albeit a smidge doubtful he actually one-hundred percent knows what he’s doing.
“I have no idea.” Whisper yells Banner, confirming your suspicions, “We’re talking about time travel here. Either it’s all a joke, or none of it is.” Explains Bruce, suddenly smiling as he lifts his attention back over to Scott, “We’re good!” He shouts with a positive thumbs up of that prominently famous green.
“Oh we’re so fucked.” You mutter humorously while Natasha shares an uncertain look with you.
“Get your helmet on.” States Banner as Scott does just that, “Scott, I’m gonna send you back a week...let you walk around for an hour, then bring you back in 10 seconds. Make sense?”
Scott smiles brightly, waving him off with confidence, “Perfectly not confusing.” He muses with an almost annoyingly positive expression.
“Good luck Scott. You got this.” Encourages Steve while Scott grins proudly. “You’re right. I do, Captain America.” Then just like that’s he’s gone, sucked into the reactor like a crumb into a vacuum cleaner.
“On a count of three..” Begins Banner, “Three, two, one.” Bruce flips some switches as the machine whirs before a second later and there’s Scott. In the body of a teen. “Uh, guys? This doesn’t feel right.” Worries teen Scott as his brows furrow in confusion, clearly not aware of how he looks. This just got interesting.
“What’s going on?” Questions Steve as Bruce urgently flicks more switches. “Who is that?” Wonders Natasha as you snort at teen Scott, snickering at how absolutely ridiculous your life is becoming and the weird shit you’re adding to the list.
“Oh my god he looks so innocent, like before the world hurt him.” You muse as Natasha’s brows raise in bewilderment, giving you a side glance as she focuses back on the person in question. “Is that, Scott?”
“Yes, it’s Scott!” Protests the sassy little 14 year old before whoosh and he’s gone once again while Banner squats down out of view to mess with some more buttons. A hot second later Scott’s back, this time looking significantly different.
“Oh, my back!” Complains the short wrinkly 80 year old man, Steve sending the back of Bruce a troubled look, “What is this?”
“Hold on a second. Could I get a little space guys.”
Steve hastily jogs around Bruce as he makes his way over to you and Nat, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you bring him back?”
“I’m working on it.” Mumbles Banner with underlying urgency as he flicks more switches in hopes of getting a better result, whoosh, and Scott’s gone again before reappearing as a...
“It’s a baby.” Deadpans Steve in astonishment.
You burst with laughter, “It’s Scott! Let’s just keep him this way so we don’t have to hear him ramble about how amazing you are, Captain America.” You tease playfully as Steve throws you a what-the-fuck kinda expression. “Y/N! He’s a baby!”
“He‘ll grow.” Adds Bruce as you shrug in agreement. Crossing your arms as you study baby Scott, “Steve you can change the diapers.”
“Bring Scott back.” Urges Steve as he ignores you and Banners amusement of the situation.
“Alright fine.” Chides Bruce, “When I say kill the power, kill the power.”
Natasha rushes past you while mumbling, “Oh, my God.” As you await for Bruce’s fantastic technological skills.
“And....kill it!” Natasha turns the breaker switch downwards and a moment later Scott’s back, this time fully Scott. Whether that’s good or not is debatable.
He stands there, arms open and face twisted in confusion, “Somebody peed my pants. But I don’t know if it was baby me or old me.......Or just...me me.” Speculates Scott as you snort in amusement.
“It was probably just you.”
He sends you an unsure look that’s half offended yet he can’t exactly counter that claim considering he’s just jumped between three different age groups of himself. Bruce claps his hands together before spreading his arms out wide in excitement, “Time travel!” He shouts enthusiastically as Steve shakes his head before turning to walk elsewhere, “What?” Wonders Bruce, “I see this as an absolute win. 
——
In the following weeks after Banner’s half-successful attempt at legitimate time travel, Tony and Rocket have been toiling away tirelessly on Starks actual time machine since he’s agreed to help fix the mess that Thanos left behind. The Avengers base has honestly never been busier; with Tony, Banner, and Rocket working on the giant machine. Everyone else is going about their business helping when needed and hoping for good news.
So here you are now, in the middle of the night with all light sources retired for the evening, hanging out in the kitchen with a bowl of watermelon chunks in your hand, and greatly enjoying the recently rare peace and quiet. Though soon your silent midnight snacking is disrupted when the sounds of human feet padding on tile reaches your ears from down the hallway. Dammit.
The lights flicker on in an instant, blinding your vision for a brief moment before they adjust accordingly to find the blue eyes of Steve, he yelps in surprise, hand holding his chest as he relaxes once more when he realizes it’s just you. Then he does a double take, considering you’re seated crossed legged on the counter with a bowl of watermelon, “Uh, hey there Y/N.”
You nod, awkwardly taking a bite out of your snack, “Steve.”
He raises a curious brow, deciding to step farther into the large kitchen area, “Huh, never seen anyone eat watermelon like that before, but I respect it.” Says the blonde, nodding towards the chopsticks held in your right hand.
“Yeah. Less of a mess.” He nods before taking a Gatorade out of the fridge, “Mind if I sit?”
“Go for it.” He nods before promptly seating himself next to the marble table. “So, eating in the dark? Your inner night owl keeping you from sleeping again?”
You shrug, “I can kinda see in the dark so....yeah, a bit of a night owl.” You admit with a growing frown, not sure why you suddenly feel so down in the dumbs again, “....guess I haven’t really slept well for some time now....well, now since I think about it actually, I probably don’t get as much sleep as your average person.”
“I get that, yeah....I know what you mean.” Lightly chuckles Steve in understanding, taking a small moment of silence to let his mind think of something to sway the atmosphere away from an awkward tension. Parting his eyes away from his clasped hands, he looks up to meet your stoic gaze, “You think all this is possible? I mean they’ve made some real progress and I guess Tony really knows what he’s doing. Still after all this time I can’t help but find it amazing.”
Pursing your lips together in thought, you let a small sigh emit from your parted lips before answering, “I hope so, cause if not. Well, guess that would be as expected.” You admit with a frown, “Maybe that’s just how it’s supposed to go....a fitting punishment for my lengthy list of crimes. I guess that’s fair.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.” Counters Steve as he sends you a sympathetic look, “What happened to you isn’t your fault, neither is what they made you do, or everything Thanos did to the universe....”
“Yeah, guess you’re probably right....it’s just...just so difficult to move on you know? From all of it, everything swirling in my head, and even though it’s been five fucking years now. I still think of that shit, even worse, I still think of Bucky every single day, I miss him.....I just, I miss all of them.” You admit sadly, setting your snack down as Steve takes a moment to reflect on his own losses.
Suddenly his lips curl into a humored smile as he shakes his head, eyes looking down at the table before they connect with your curious ones, “God he was so different back in the 40’s....Y/N you wouldn’t believe the stuff we got up to, jeesh, the stuff he got up to.” Chuckles Steve as you raise an intrigued brow. 
“Alright Rogers care to elaborate?” You press with a growing smile at the thought of Bucky and learning more about him, “Bucky never told me a whole lot about that time. Considering he’ll probably never get the chance, I think I’d like to learn more about him and what shit you people did back then.”
“Aren’t you from the 1950′s?” Inquires Steve with a humored grin as you wave him off.
“Yeah, yeah, I was a baby back then I don’t remember what happened okay,” You explain, “I was born in 53 alright, and let’s not forget I didn’t exactly have a normal childhood.”
Steve nods, “Right. Fair point.....Okay so..” He laughs, “There was this one time and if you knew me back in the day, of course I was getting in an unsolicited scuffle with some boys who thought it was funny to argue with the paperboy.”
Raising a brow, you begin to smile as his eyes light up, “An unsolicited scuffle?” You muse, “Or is this when skinny Steve got his ass kicked by a couple of mangy dogs?”
“Dogs. Yeah that’s probably more fitting, well you know, of course I had to step in and do something.”
“As expected.” You quickly add as he continues.
“Which I did. And let me tell you they were not a fan. Those assholes ran me for two blocks till I got cornered in some market when who would you know it.....Bucky was there, taking some cute strawberry blonde out for a date while he got groceries for his mom.” Chuckles Steve, blue eyes shimmering with the humorous memories coming back to him about his old friend.
You heart subconsciously swells with the thought of Bucky, “Clever man. Sweet talk your girl while doing something useful.”
“Exactly. I would have gotten a bloody nose if he hadn’t thrown a tomato right at the biggest guys head. That thing coated his hair like red paint, then...” Steve balls his fist as he presses it against his mouth to try and keep himself from losing it with laughter, “...then, his friend turned around and smack! Another tomato right in his face.”
Snickering in amusement, you run a hand down the side of your face at the vivid image forming in your head, “oh Bucky..”
“It was pretty damn accurate too. The other guy booked it down the sidewalk before Buck could get him. Then when he started walking towards us, the other guys took off like a couple of scared birds....fortunately leaving me with no bruises that day.” Says Steve proudly, no doubt thinking fondly on that old memory, “Then of course he told me I gotta be more careful and all that stuff, I said I was fine and he want back to shopping with that girl......huh, don’t think I ever saw her again, well....at least with him.”
“Don’t blame her, he sounded like a real ladies man back in the day, she probably got too jealous.” You joke with a small brow wiggle before your smile lessens again, God you miss him so fucking much, “Thanks Steve.....he seemed, so different. It’s just when I knew him, when I first met him that is, Bucky was very different.”
Steve’s face looses it’s once vibrant glow, he keeps a steady gaze set on you now, knowing your time with him was such a chilling contrast to Bucky in the 40’s. You sigh, “I think I would have liked to see that version of Bucky just once, but I liked the Bucky I got after everything we went through.....after everything’s that’s happened. Maybe 40’s Bucky wouldn’t even look in my direction, I’d probably scare the socks off of him anyways.”
Steve shakes his head, “No way Y/N, you’d have him wrapped around your finger so fast, not a doubt in my mind he’d do anything for you in a heartbeat. That’s just who he was, a player yes, but a kind one who treated everyone with respect through that famous charm of his.....and you, you’d have caught his attention in an instant.”
Looking down at your hands, you raise the corner of your lips into a small half grin at the thought of Sergeant Barnes losing it all to the dangerous vixen that is no doubt yourself, now that’s an interesting thought indeed. Bucky in the 40′s, how about that.
“Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re not....but I know one thing. That I’m glad to have even known him at all, he was...so special and he didn’t even know it.” You pause for a moment, lips pursing together as you think fondly of your past lover. Steve keeps silent, studying your disheartened features as you gather your words, “So if, if they can somehow do this....if it’s even actually possible to get those fucking stones again. I’ll do whatever it takes, Steve.”
Whatever it takes.
-
Tagged:  @diegos-butt @minigranger @bibliophilewednesday @holyhumorliteraturelight @lilacs-lavender @a-girl-who-loves-disney @starkssnarks @vikingqueen28 @bizarrebibitch @atomicpersonacheesecake @jmstz @staygoldsquatchling02 @marvelbros-oneshots @shawnartmendes​ @mischiefmanaged71 @jckie94​  @iamasimpingh0e
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steve0discusses · 3 years
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Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-Yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 1
It’s been a while since I visited the many times Yugi should have gone to jail, AKA season Zero, and I’m excited to visit it again.
If you just got here, this is Season Zero, which is very different vibe and a different direction plotwise than the other seasons and you can read the season zero recaps from the start in chrono order here: https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi%20muto/chrono
So be warned, this is a 90′s anime, and it will do 90′s anime things, and I expect y’all reading this aren’t like 12.
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Like I said in an earlier post, I wrote this out fully when I was going through the symptoms from my second dose--which PS, is worth it--but those symptoms knocked me out for 10 days. I was kind of a space cadet, and yo, I made some mistakes. Including writing this post out in full and then not clicking “save” on this post and then not realizing I had done that until several days later.
So long story short, I don’t remember what I originally wrote here, but lets all assume it was weird, and didn’t make sense and wasn’t funny. We’ll just assume this was for the best that it was deleted forever.
So this episode is about 2 things: Yo-yos and Jounouchi. Both get used as a tool for violence, and both need to get just a little bit cursed by Yugi to scale it the hell back. So, understandably, we start off this episode with Jounouchi, who has eagerly identified with this off brand yo-yo he apparently got out of a dumpster for being just a huge ass defect.
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(more Yo-Yo crimes under the cut)
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I see you dodging copyright infringement, Yugioh. Eireboy.
Also whenever I read “Eireboy” I do it in my mind in the same pacing and vocal tones that Pegasus uses to say “Kaiba boy.” Something about it’s conjunction to Yugioh, I see anything with “boy” at the end of it, and it’s voiced by a weird guy with one eye.
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So I wrote these caps under the influence of my second dose, just assuming y’all understand the life I lived, but I realized writing this episode...traveling bands of yo-yo performers that go to your school and shill yo-yos with yo-yo shows in the hopes that it will get you so obsessed with yo-yos that you will not join a gang and do drugs and have sex may be just an American thing.
So when I saw a yo-yo episode I was like “Tight! Clearly, the yo-yo clowns have come to town!” and I assumed everyone in this class would be draped in yo-yos, because I just assumed that at some point at School you will get MAD OBSESSED with yo-yos for about 2 weeks.
But in this episode, everyone was like “Jounouchi, why are you playing with a random yo-yo?” and it didn’t occur to me until typing this out just now: only Jounouchi is doing this. He did this unprompted, without the encouragement of a bunch of middle aged performers doing tricks to techno music.
So instead, I have to think of Jounouchi as Ralphie in this scenario, and he just got a official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time for Christmas, but he’s gonna shoot his eye out.
Because yo-yos in this episode are basically guns.
...Kind of like a duel deck was also just a gun...
...or the wands in Harry Potter...
...which honestly...I’ve probably said this before but where I’m from, we just use straight up guns in these elaborate analogies because we freakin have to make the point crystal clear. The moment Ralphie finally got his hands on a bb-gun, he very nearly shot his eye out and broke his glasses. And that scene will haunt me until my dying day...
...but fine, we can use yo-yos, I guess it works, although to me, yo-yo’s are just teachers hoping you’ll become such a dork that no gang will accept you (and then in this universe, it does the opposite? So freakin weird).
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The beginning of this episode is Jounouchi trying do his best to impress with his skills, but in actuality, getting very close to clubbing Anzu with a yo-yo. And, while Anzu is the strongest person in Yugioh in the later seasons, I feel like Season Zero Anzu is another level. It’s a serious tempt of fate that Jounouchi is doing, so Honda wisely cuts him off from doing any more of that so she won’t end up strangling yet another person in broad daylight in the middle of school.
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Remember your yo-yo safety, children.
Straight up, Honda’s version of yo-yo safety is to just Never Use a Yo-Yo and that’s the most gun safety thing ever that they’ve slipped into this Yugioh Episode. I almost expected Yuugi to pull a “well, actually, I use a hunting yo-yo to get enough venison to feed my family.” But youknow, he lives in a city, so while Yugioh is pretty weird and Yuugi has to worry about a lot of things--he doesn’t have to worry about that.
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This is actually foreshadowing, which I only realized in hind sight, mostly because I just can’t associate a Yo-yo with crime. Joey knowing how to use a yo-yo was foreshadowing that he was absolutely part of this gang in a past life.
Yeah that one went completely over my head the first time and the second time and it really wasn’t until just now that I finally caught it. Hoo boy, sometimes I wonder why y’all let me analyze this show.
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Jounouchi decides to confront the yo-yo bandits and everyone else is like “Silly Jounouchi, he’s not gonna do that. That would be stupid.” And...in S0, they don’t know him well enough yet to know that he really is that much of a well meaning dumbass.
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I think a S1-5 Yugi would have been sprinting out the door to keep Joey from killing himself (again), but Season Zero Yuugi had hope that Jounouchi would just naturally tucker out and fall asleep or something.
And he was so wrong.
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Anzu’s “New Tricks” line was from the dub itself and man that’s a good line. I love Anzu’s sass in Zero.
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So, Honda decides to help them find Jounouchi so all of them together could give Jounouchi an intervention for skipping school. This is the same Honda that once skipped school to babysit a tomagachi and said it was because of “Maternity leave,” but don’t worry about the hypocrisy, because from this episode we learned that Jounouchi needs a very short leash.
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So this episode is a great Jounouchi episode to explain stuff that still hasn’t been explained in 5 seasons of Yugioh. In S1-5, we don’t get much about his home life other than his Mom left and his Sister lives far away and is like sickly as hell. We know nothing else. But this is the episode where we finally get to find out why Yuugi and his Grandfather decided to basically adopt him from S1 onward.
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Yugioh is tackling some pretty heavy territory, but I respect the show for not trying to magically change Jounouchi’s parents like they did to Dartz. Instead, the crew decide to reach out and try to find their friend who clearly didn’t go home last night (and won’t be going back for a while), by checking every alleyway in Domino.
Fun fact Yuugi drops this episode, Domino is one of the biggest cities on Earth. This makes the Battle City Tournament even more crazy when you realize Kaiba shut down several blocks but, it also makes a tiny bit more sense how we have so many Millennium items in one place. (Yet...it still doesn’t explain Bakura and Joey’s accent.) And, I guess if your city is just extra large, you get an extra large warehouse district, too.
Speaking of, they eventually find Jounouchi at his new (but also old) crime antics mugging some random stranger next to this Game store that I just realized was cropped so it looks like it says “GANG.”
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Say hello to our crime clown. He’s sort of like a discount joker, and that beanie is...man it is green.
I forget this green exists sometimes, but Season Zero has it as one of their prime colors. Good ol’ Retro Kaiba green.
I’m a little tempted to swatch Season Zero a bit and figure out their full color scheme--it’s really saturated, which is interesting when you compare it to the later seasons which are a lot more muted since...the 00′s were like that, they greyed a lot of colors out. But I’ll do it later if I do, maybe another post for another day.
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Jounouchi and Honda, before they moved to the school with Yuugi in it, used to go to the same school and up until now I just assumed they were close friends. But apparently they were a lot more distant than that. I’m sure they met up several times as Jounouchi destroyed stuff and Honda came along in his volunteer janitor outfit to put the stuff the hell back, and maybe that’s how they got to know eachother better?
But basically, Jounouchi was the freakin worst, and Jounouchi’s best friend was Hirotani--this 45 year old 15 year old with the blue pony and turquoise fade--and Honda has SO MUCH hot goss to say about it.
I really get the gist that Honda may not have liked anyone else at his old school, like at all. Like maybe Honda likes cleaning up trash so much because his school was just trash top to bottom.
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As is tradition, Yuugi got his tar beat in by Hirotani. Another concussion to add to his list of issues to tell his future therapist that lives in that puzzle he wears around his neck.
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I still expect him to do a double cross, but it seems they wanted to keep it a relatable and more realistic fall-out, where Jounouchi has just bounced on them without even a goodbye. He and his Dad had a bad fight, and Jounouchi was like “well so long to all of this and everyone that has anything to do with it.”
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In later seasons, Joey is the one trying to save other people. He’s saving his Sister, he’s saving Mai, he’s saving Yugi, but in this season Jounouchi’s friends had to save Jounouchi from himself a few times now.
I like this depth to his character, I’ll be honest. I can understand why S1-5 don’t touch on it, and I don’t think it’s because they didn’t want to have an abusive Dad storyline, because they did that several times over with Seto Kaiba (man the Dad situation in Yugioh is DIRE.) Instead they probably just felt like Season Zero already did it, so why do it again?
It’s just a shame that it wasn’t talked about in the other seasons. Joey makes a lot more sense to me now because we get to see why Jounouchi is so hard set on saving people. S4 Mai Valentine, who ditched everyone and joined a gang? That’s basically a Joey move, and that was why Joey Wheeler was all over that.
Really would have added a lot to that particular arc if the show...actually talked about Joey’s history at all rather than assume I would have watched something that was never released in the States. Instead...it just looked a lot like he had only romantic motivations, which may not have been what they were going for.
Speaking of romantic, check out this sunset. Like the sun is exploding for some reason--just a wild sunset you only see for a still frame before a commercial break.
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As Joey, youknow, takes on an entire rival gang single-handedly.
Hey guys, I lived near a pretty big city most of my life and I have been on a roof...once. Just the one time when I was doing an internship in SF with a painter and we needed to take a reference photo of his painting for a gallery (and it was hella sketch, and we weren’t exactly allowed up there). Who are all these people giving teens Roof Access? It’s so hard to get! Even if you live in an apartment of a tall building, I can count on zero of my fingers the amount of times I was allowed on that roof. But TV shows and movies--they freakin love roof gardens and roof hangouts and roof fights.
Am I missing out?? How did y’all get on the ROOF? I know I’m on S5 of Yugioh now and I have seen a lot of roof stuff, but like...is this normal for everyone else? I know there’s schools that have roof sport--that’s common in the city everywhere--but that’s like...specialized roofs with 30 ft chainlink fencing and really good supports to your body doesn’t fall straight through it when you jump too much. The hell is using their normal ass roof?
This gang should have their legs swinging halfway into the floor below them, is all I’m saying, if my roof couldn’t handle our solar heating, then a normal ass roof cannot support a gang fight.
But it does look really, really cool.
Anyway, Anzu does some offscreen snooping and finds out where the crime hangs out, and suggests that we step right into crime zone and just yank Jounouchi out of there. Which is something you would only do and say if you were Anzu and cannot fear death.
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If it were Jay’s it would be with an ‘s. That’s how you do a plural Jay. But it’s the 90′s, so we put a “z” on the end of everything that should have been an “s” and that’s how you get the...
I mean, thank you, dubbers, for not saying “Jizz” but for reals...that be Jizz.
Please don’t flag me, Tumblr. (which, PS, I think they turned off the flagbot, Tumblr hasn’t flagged me in forever and I’m so thankful. Mods are asleep, we can talk about anime again)
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So even though Honda decided that he was fed up with Jounouchi and didn’t want to save his ass, he decided to give it another go but complete with some new sash. He also did this without telling any of the others, who just kinda spectated him for a little while.
Honestly, if they weren’t laughing at him, I wouldn’t have known that this sash was any weirder than any of his other sashes. I don’t know really know what a school uniform should look like. It’s a shame, I feel like this series has a lot of jokes and puns probably soaring right over my head.
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A little bit embarrased he was caught being vulnerable, Honda decides to give us a little more context to why he ever decided to give Jounouchi the time of day in the first place.
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They had PE class once, and Honda apparently loves the hell out of PE. Jounouchi ran really fast in a straight line that one time, and that is why he’s trustworthy friend material. He just needs to stop joining gangs, and he’ll be solid.
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I have no idea if the fandub put that in there or if that was native to the show, but Miho legit stans Honda/Jounouchi and acts as if she’s off to write some fanfiction about it. Honestly if she did, it would make her so much more interesting of a character.
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And so, until next time, we shall have to wait and see exactly what Yami Yuugi is going to do with a freakin Yo-yo and I’m sure it’s all sorts of real effed up. Excited to get there, honestly. A shame it had to happen on the part that isn’t dubbed yet, but I’ve done these subbed before, it’ll be fine!
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themadauthorshatter · 3 years
Text
It's been a while since I did one of these, and I'll be expanding over more of the series.
Here's Part 4 of headcanons I have for Never!Tedros!!
Even when she becomes the coven's new leader, Tedros still hates her guts and it definitely has to do with her treatment of Agatha and letting Dot get kicked out.
In retaliation, he asks Agatha to take her in, which she does, and explains what happened to Dovey, who allows Dot to stay, much to the annoyance of the Evil teachers and a lot of the Nevers, even Sophie.
They have they're confrontation at lunch and Sophie shouts at him that Agatha tricked him, too, lest he forget. He already knows this, but walks away anyway to be with Agatha.
They have some angsty-fluff moments with Tedros asking if she's afraid of him, which she claims she isn't because, no offense to him, he's all bark and no bite with her. He admits to knowing she'd tried using him, but also admits he's glad she gave up on that because it wouldn't have been a good thing if he'd figured it out and she lied to him.
During the bridge encounter, Sophie claims Agatha is the Evil one, and that Agatha is the witch, not her, even going as far as to say she and Tedros are the good ones and deserve an Even After together.
"At least I know I'm evil, you stupid girl."
I should mention Tedros takes a turn for the dark when he is confronted by Ravan, Vex, and other Never boys and dragged into a bathroom, so they can beat the crap out of him for all the stuff he's pulled.
Having been in Good for about a month, he's immediately overwhelmed by all the evils surrounding the students, even a few of Sophie's, which reveal her attacks and intentions for the schools.
Ravan goes to get a hit in with a weapon of some kind, but Tedros grabs it and stands up, angrier than ever before.
Anadil is unfortunate enough to see Tedros leave the boy's room with some blood on his face, but uninjured. He glares at her and walks away without talking.
She finds all the boys unconscious with scratches and slashes on their faces and bodies. The weapon Ravan had is now broken, having been used against them to the extreme.
Come the circus of talents, when Agatha comes in pretty as a picture, Tedros warns her not the stop him, and thanks her for being nice to him.
She sees why when she and a witchy Sophie go toe to toe.
Too bad Tedros attacks Sophie before they can start actually do anything.
I should mention that, as a sort of update on his talent, Tedros can USE these evils to his advantage and can force them into visibility, which is exactly what he does.
He shows all the students what they are on the inside, revealing the monsters he's scene since day 1 of arriving at school.
After a HUGE fight breaks out between Tedros, who is consumed and corrupted by the evils he's seen, letting them take over, and Sophie, who just gave up on being good like before.
Sophie attempts to kill Agatha, but she's caught by Tedros, who's grown shadow-esque wings and looks like some sort of demon dragon.
As he holds her, the two flying maybe eight feet off the ground, he admits he may have gone overboard and apologizes to her for almost dying.
He then reveals he knows about Sophie's plan to not only give the Nevers a ball, but also destroy all of Good and steal the Storian.
"What are you going to do?"
Tedros smiles. "Being a prince. I don't like Beatrix or a lot of other people in Good, but I like you all enough to know I don't want Sophie to end your stories."
"What do you mean? What're you-"
He sort of lands on the ground and lets Agatha stand, resting his forehead against hers. "Agatha, thank you for being in Good."
"You say that like I had a choice."
"No one ever said you had to be my friend, but you did, anyway."
He kisses her on the cheek and takes her to her dorm, which he locked from the outside, in the door, before taking off towards Evil, telling her to not stop him.
She gets to Evil by turning into a cheetah and, like before, tries to crash the No Ball to save everyone.
EVERYONE only believes her ehen Tedros arrives and attacks everyone, using the evils to his advantage.
When Sophie and Agatha are magiced away to Gavaldon, he only stands, emotionally empty as they vanish.
He's locked himself into his room and is sitting with his knees up and with his head resting against his knees.
Hates Aric.
Sleeps and stays in the Doom Room to avoid him, and the other boys because they won't shut up.
Does step up to be the leader of the boys, but does not order any kind of attack on the girls.
When the boys start getting rowdy, courtesy of one of the Everboys, said Everboy gets in Tedros's face when he confronts him. Aric backs up the Ever, and Tedros says nothing as he rams his fist into the Ever's stomach and swings an insanely hard punch into his jaw, which knocks him out instantly. The whole room is quiet as he basically demotes Aric as captain and gives the position to Chaddick; Aric is now responsible for disciplining anyone that steps out of line, which is nice enough, but he'd rather have the power to choose who gets the whip. With a low, "I want this entire castle spotless. You have the rest of the night and the weekend to do it," Tedros leaves, Chaddick following when Tedros asks him to very warmly, despite the scene that just unfolded.
When boys start refusing, Tedros hands them over to Aric, telling him that he can use any method he wants just as long as the boys are still alive.
No one refuses an order after an Ever and a Never leave boisterously shouting they're not afraid of a sewer rat like Aric and return quiet, pale, and injured from getting tortured.
Surprisingly, Tedros is the most collected with Tristan, almost returning to his Book 1 self, except more chatty. Tedros notes how Tristan smells a little different and that the redhead's been distant. Tristan denies it, spawning an evil for lying that Tedros sees.
He tells Tristan to keep his distance, and that he was one of the Everboys that was really nice to him; it's a small thing, but it means the world to him.
When Agatha and Sophie arrive, Tedros has locked himslef in his room. The boys are whipped into shape and don't really step out of line, all except Aric, but he tells the two strongest boys to keep Aric on a leesh if they have to.
Cue a lovely Tagatha reunion where the real Tedros comes back for a little bit.
She tells him about what the School for Girls are saying about him, even talking about how he rules over the boys with an iron fist, but Tedros states that if the boys wanted a different leader, they should've picked someone else to step up.
He tells her he won't hurt her, if they have to fight, but he will tear Sophie apart, so she'd better keep Sophie safe, if she cares so much about her.
Agatha leaves, apologizing for the fact that she might still love him. Tedros apologizes to her for the same reason.
Turns out the boys don't need to pick a new leader because the male teachers do it for them, and lock Tedros in the Doom Room.
He doesn't mind the other boys ignoring him. He doesn't mind the fact that he's not allowed to eat even when he tells the truth. He doesn't mind Aric being a dick or Tristan disappearing into thin air.
He minds greatly when he meets Filip, who has Sophie's evils and makes the mistake of trying to befriend him.
Just to put a target on his back, Tedros allows Filip to win. He wants alone time too, because he's been thinking about Agatha a lot.
Turns out not ALL the boys hate him, because Chaddick tries sneaking him food.
Tedros refuses and asks to be left alone.
A few days later, Filip finds Tedros lying on the ground, passed out and weak from not being fed. He wakes him up and tries to get him to have some lamb, but Tedros kicks Filip away
"Stop whatever game you're playing! I know it's you, Sophie!"
Filip blanches as he stands, flustered. "I... W-Who's Sophie? I'm Filip. Remember?"
Tedros glares up at him and scoffs. "You think I can't tell when you're lying? That I don't know when someone's trying to trick me!? Unless you're here to torture me or rub it in my face that I messed up and you have everything, go away and don't ever talk to me again, you witch!"
Filip(Sophie) is gutted by this, stunned as Tedros adds in a, "Speak of the Devil," as Aric strides in, armed with a whip.
Aric makes Filip leave and gets a few lashes on Tedros as he shouts that the prince is weak, a fool, and useless to eveyone, adding emphasis on weak if he can't even rely on his princess to save him.
When Aric's done with him and leaves, Tedros forces himself to his feet and unpockets a key he snagged off "Filip" when he kicked him.
He gets out and looks for Sophie, who's partnered with Hort for the trial by tale.
He finds Yara instead, heavily injured and dying as he rushes over to her side.
"I tried," she sobs. "I-I tried to get here sooner... and warn you, but he... he came out and-"
Tedros takes her hand, too upset to be angry. "Why, Tristan? Why be with the girls? I would've helped you!"
Tristan, Yara, holds his hand tightly and smiles. "You should've seen it. It was so pretty. And the girls were wearing blue for once."
Even though he has tears in his eyes and running down his cheeks, Tedros can only smile and shake his head. "You're a bloody fool."
"So... So're you."
Tristan apologizes for hiding the Storian away from Tedros, and thanks him for being possibly the only boy in the school for boys that was really nice to him, even though he defected to the girl's shool, in the end. With one last smile, Tristan dies, Tedros setting him down and backing away before shouting and releasing a sort of shadow-y energy, sonic boom that flattens a bunch of trees. He screams, he cries, and he basically mourns the fact that he lost someone he genuinely cared about and saw as a friend, maybe even a brother.
Even though he's weaker than before, tired, emotionally drained, and barely able to stand, Tedros still finds Filip, who's revealed to be Sophie, and, too tired for words, smirks as she tries to explain herself to a very hurt Hort, who she picked as her partner.
"Look who's putting her lessons to good use."
She turns on Tedros and shouts she always tried to help him, even when it would result in a punishment, and where he got worse she got better.
Tedros snickers and asks why she manipulated Agatha and lied to the boys, even Hort, who's her friend. On skaky legs and with unfocused eyes, Tedros murmurs, "You can take the witch out of Evil, but there's no taking the evil out of a witch. No wonder Agatha hates us both."
Just as he falls, Agatha races out of the trees and catches him, apologizing that she hadn't been the one to take the potion and help him and admitting she never hated him. She actually never stopped loving him and believes that he isn't so evil he can't be loved by her.
Tedros asks how she knows, considering the events prior, and Agatha shakes her head; if he was truly as evil as he thinks, she would be dead, her and Sophie both, and both schools would've been destroyed. He can think all he wants that he hates both schools and everyone inside them, and that he's an evil force of destruction that will never sit a throne, but Agatha knows the truth:
He loved going to both schools. He loved being around people, more specifically people who showed him the most minimal shred of kindness, regardless of whether or not it was genuine or out of obligation. He loved being the only one up at night and enjoying the silence of both schools, loved pulling pranks that were harmless, save for causing gray hairs. He loved being friends with Chaddick and Tristan, who took him in and showed him how great it was to even have friends. He loved the lessons in good and the trips between both schools.
Most of all, she knows he loves her, even though she tried tricking him into falling in love with Sophie so they could leave.
Tedros can't help but cry and not seeing any evils grow from Agatha, knowing everything she said was true and that he's an idiot for needing it spelled out for him.
They kiss, ending the conflict between boys and girls, and getting their Happily Ever After. Hort does a good friend move and looks away to give them some kind of privacy, but Sophie is frozen, realizing that regardless of whether she's good or evil, she's not getting Tedros. His heart belongs to Agatha, who feels the same way.
When Evelyn Sader appears with the Storian, bringing back Rafal and dying in the process, Tedros still tries to fight him.
He gets his ass handed to him, and gets that gash in the original story.
When they're sent to Gavaldon and found by Callis, who tends to Tedros, Agatha guves her the run-down, including the fact that Tedros is indeed a Never and the Prince of Camelot.
Callis sighs at this and admits he's good at being still for her, considering how he was so fitful while unconscious. Agatha then admits he sleep walks.
With that in mind, they check and find him awake and staring at Callis, holding a hand out to her as Agatha shakily introductions them.
They trade introductions, Callis at least because Tedros is back to being quiet, and Callis returns to patching him up.
Tedros is quiet as she finishes up, though only breaks his silence with this:
"You're so lucky to have such an amazing daughter."
Sorry this took sonlong to work on. I'm trying to sort of clear the clutter in my Drafts so I can work on more new stuff. This was really fanfic-y, too and I deeply apologize for that😅
Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this!
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jaehyunfirstlove · 3 years
Text
Highway to Heaven - Ch. 2
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Your best friend Johnny wants to go on a road trip. The only catch? He wants to bring his roommate, Jeong Jaehyun, someone you just couldn’t stand.
Genre: e2l, fluff, angst, (eventual) smut
Warnings: none for this chapter :)
Ch. 1
A/N: So I only did minor research into the area mentioned (meaning I used my memory lol) so please bear with me :)
You stopped to get gas before it was your turn to drive, and you and Johnny argued again while Jaehyun went inside to buy snacks. He didn’t stop or look your way on his way back to the car, just got inside, put his airpods in and tucked into the snacks. By the time you got inside the car you were livid.
“You think you’re always right and it drives me insane!” you yelled at your best friend as you got into the driver’s seat.
“I don’t think I’m always right! But I know I’m right this time!” he yelled back.
“You can think that way all you want, doesn’t mean everyone has to agree with you!”
“I don’t need you to agree with me, I just want you to keep an open mind!”
“I have an open mind! I just happen to know exactly how guys like this are!” You immediately stopped talking, realizing your mistake, and hazarded a cautious look in the rearview mirror to see if Jaehyun heard you. He was looking out the window, humming along to the music playing in his airpods, seemingly oblivious to your tirade.
Johnny sighed in frustration. “Listen, just hold out for the next few days and I promise I’ll never ask for another favor ever again.”
You opened your mouth to answer but there was nothing else to say. Johnny put his airpods in, rested his head on the headrest, and closed his eyes.
You sighed too, turning on the radio for some background noise to drown out the thoughts in your head. You didn’t mean to be so stubborn, you really did have an open mind and weren’t usually so judgmental with people. But your ex-boyfriend had been a player, someone you had loved and trusted and he had broken your heart. You’d had a difficult time trusting anyone since then, and Johnny had been the only one you could confide in. He’d been there with you as you cried your eyes out over pints of rocky road, answered your drunken rants at four in the morning, forced you to eat real food after bouts of depression robbed you of your appetite. So you were completely incensed that he would want you to make nice with someone who had the same qualities as the man who had broken your heart.
Anger bubbled up again the more you thought about it, but before you could give it a voice you felt someone poking lightly at your elbow. You turned to see Jaehyun handing you a bag of gummy bears.
“I meant to give this to you earlier but you seemed busy,” he said softly, keeping his voice low as Johnny was lightly snoring, “I got it at the gas station. Here, I opened it for you,” he propped the open bag up on the console and then sat back in his seat.
You don’t know what came over you but you suddenly felt tears prick your eyes, and quickly swiped them away with the back of your hand. You saw that it was your favorite brand too, not a common one so he would have had to search for it.
“How did you know?” you whispered, still in shock. This was the last thing you’d expected from him. You figured getting you into bed was the only thing he was interested in, not the brand of candy that you preferred.
“Johnny told me,” he shrugged, and gave you a small smile before going back to his airpods.
You shook your head, determined not to let this sway you. It’s going to have to take more than just gummy bears to get you on my good side, you thought.
You set your jaw and stared at the road ahead.
---
When it was Jaehyun’s turn to drive you sat in the backseat and tried to sleep, but the two of them were laughing and joking around so much that it was distracting you. You hadn’t ever really noticed their dynamic, but now that you were a captive observer you couldn’t avoid it. Johnny was just as funny and laid back as he was with you, but there was an easy rapport he had with Jaehyun that you’d never seen before. And this was definitely a side of Jaehyun you’d never seen. He was goofy, cracked silly jokes and made even sillier faces. It seemed like they had a ton of inside jokes, because every now and then they would just crack up after a moment of silence. You were blindsided.
“Y/N, I thought you were going to sleep,” Johnny had noticed you, staring wide-eyed at them.
“Sorry, were we being too loud?” Jaehyun said softly. You blinked twice and then rearranged your features.
“No, it’s okay, I wasn’t tired.” You took that moment to look outside the window and noticed something. “Hey, we’re not on the 101 anymore? Where are we going?”
Jaehyun and Johnny exchanged looks before Johnny turned to you, “We’re heading to a bus station, Jaehyun’s going home.”
“What?” you asked in shock, “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Jaehyun answered lightly, “I just figured it was a mistake for me to come along, there’s uh, stuff I need to get done.” He cleared his throat at the obvious lie, hoping you wouldn’t notice.
“Oh,” was all you could say. Your emotions churned in your gut, almost making you feel nauseous. While you’d love for it just to be you and Johnny, like old times, you couldn’t deny that something about Jaehyun was pulling at you. Neither of them spoke after that, and the silence in the car was deafening. You knew exactly why he was leaving.
“What kind of stuff?” you challenged.
“Huh?”
“What kind of stuff do you have to do?” you stared at the back of his head, hoping he felt your eyes boring into his skull.
“Uh, just some, uh, things for work.” He answered, rubbing the back of his neck - a telltale sign of someone not telling the truth.
“Mm,” you hummed. You turned to your best friend, who’d been quiet throughout this entire exchange, “Johnny? Do you have something to add?”
“Nope, nada, nothing.” He made the motion of zipping his lips, and you knew exactly why. In all the years you’d known Johnny, he was incapable of lying. He would stutter, his face would turn red, and he would eventually blurt out the truth in frustration.
Taking a glance at his roommate, Jaehyun laughed nervously. “No really, Y/N, it’s important stuff I need to take care of, I didn’t tell Johnny about it till now. My fault.”
Johnny’s face indeed turned red, “Y-yup! He told me just, uh, just now! N-no idea, he, uh, had this… stuff, he had to d-do for uh, ummm, w-work… ah screw it!” He pulled his hair in frustration. Jaehyun looked over at him, an anxious look on his face. You waited in the backseat.
“He said he heard us arguing and he knew it was about him and he can see that you’re clearly not happy with him coming along! Okay??!! Are you happy?” Johnny blurted it all out in one breath. Your jaw dropped open. Jaehyun’s face turned beet red, all the way to his ears.
“You- you heard us?” you said quietly.
“No! No I didn’t really hear anything, don’t worry!” he tried to smooth everything over, but you knew from the look on his face that he had, “I just don’t want to be the third wheel, this is your trip with Johnny, I shouldn’t have come along in the first place.”
“Dude, I basically forced you to come.” Johnny said in a deadpan voice.
Jaehyun smiled weakly at Johnny, “Thanks man, I know you meant well. I’ll be okay.”
The last part he said with a vulnerability in his tone that made your chest ache. You looked over at his face but it was stoic, only his eyes held something faraway. Despite your misgivings about him, you thought you shouldn’t rob him of time he could spend with friends. You definitely needed it after your breakup, so it would be terrible to keep it from him as well.
“I don’t agree with this plan,” you suddenly said, making both of them turn to you in surprise, “The bus station will take us too far out of the way, adding more driving time to the trip and therefore making it more exhausting for everyone involved-”
“Actually I calculated it and it’s just an extra twenty min-” Jaehyun began.
“-and,” you continued, completely ignoring him, “I totally don’t believe you about this so-called ‘stuff’ you have to do anyway so don’t even bother.”
Johnny snickered, punching Jaehyun lightly in the shoulder, “Told you she wouldn’t believe you!”
---
The little detour put you off schedule so by the time you pulled up to the roadside motel it was late, and the last room left had only one bed. You sighed in exasperation, wanting to blame the two of them for their stupid little charade that put you all in this position.
“Theoretically, it’s a king-size bed so we could all fit…” Johnny started, and you shot him a look that could kill. He only shrugged. “I’m just saying, I’m not precious about these things. I’ll sleep anywhere with anyone. You two figure it out then.” He grabbed his suitcase and started to unpack.
You looked at the bed longingly, you had meant to sleep in the car but never got to, and you were exhausted.
“You and Johnny take the bed,” Jaehyun offered, seeing the look on your face, “I always sleep better on the floor anyway.” Before you could protest he took the extra blankets and pillow from the closet and laid them out on the floor, making a cozy little nest for him to sleep in.
“Is it okay if I wash up first?” he asked, and both you and Johnny nodded. When the bathroom door closed behind him Johnny smiled widely at you.
“See? See what I mean? Isn’t he nice?” he needled you, elbowing you in the side for good measure.
“There’s more to being nice than just giving up a bed for one night,” you huffed. Johnny made like he was going to scream.
“You’re something else, Y/N,” he shook his head, “but I know you, you’re starting to warm up to him!” he teased, acting like a middle-schooler making googly eyes.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you rolled your eyes at Johnny’s antics. You should’ve been used to his behavior by now, but his teasing was starting to get to you.
“You wouldn’t let him go home! I thought for sure you’d be happy that he wanted to leave! I thought you’d say ‘oh, you want to go home? Well go ahead then! Boo hoo you broke up with your girlfriend! Sucks to be you!’ but you didn’t!” Johnny started laughing then, clutching his stomach and falling dramatically to the floor. You wanted to punch him, and if there hadn’t been a third party to witness it you would have certainly done damage.
“No one deserves to be alone in his position,” you said in your defense, “No matter what I think of him, breakups suck and I wouldn’t want even my worst enemy to suffer like that alone.”
Johnny stopped laughing, wiping away the tears that had formed at the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. He put an arm around you and smiled.
“Thanks, Y/N. That’s all I wanted, was for you to see him as a human being with feelings, not just some preconceived notion of what he was like.”
“I guess he’s not so bad,” you weren’t completely convinced, but at least now you were willing to give him a chance, “besides, the two of you seem really close so I wouldn’t want you to miss out either.”
“Aww, I love you too!” he pretended to sob and pulled you in for a hug. You sighed, laughing at Johnny’s penchant for the dramatic.
“You guys are so cute,” Jaehyun had come out of the bathroom, changed into a simple black tee and plaid pajama pants. His hair was slightly damp, his bangs falling slightly into his eyes, his face fresh and his skin dewy. You’d never seen him in that light and you couldn’t help but stare. He smiled shyly when you noticed him, and quickly went over to his blanket nest.
“Hey, if it’s okay, can you spare an extra pillow? I need something to hug to help me fall asleep.” He seemed hesitant to ask, but it seemed that he was feeling more comfortable with you.
“Oh, sure,” you looked over and indeed there were three pillows on the bed. You grabbed one and threw it to him. He caught it handily and flashed you that dimpled smile, and you actually felt your face flush. You turned away quickly so he wouldn’t see, but Johnny had caught the entire scene and giggled at you. You mouthed for him to shut up, throwing a pillow at him too, but he dodged it easily, laughing the whole time. When you picked up another pillow to throw at him he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.
“Coward!” you yelled, and you could hear him giggling behind the door. Jaehyun was sitting on the floor watching the two of you, laughing softly. You couldn’t help but smile at how happy he looked, it definitely made you feel good that you could lift his spirits like that.
“You and Johnny are so fun together,” he mused.
“We’ve known each other for a long time,” you answered, sitting on the bed to face him.
“He told me you grew up together?”
“Yeah, we were neighbors for a long time. We went to the same schools, our families hung out together, that kind of thing.” This was certainly the longest conversation you’d had with him, but you found that you didn’t mind it.
“Mm. That’s awesome. I wish I had a friend like that. I moved around a lot as a kid, so I don’t have any lifelong friends. You guys are lucky.”
“Oh. Well you and Johnny seem close? I know you haven’t been roommates for long.” you offered.
He nodded, “Johnny’s one of those people that you like right away, you know? He’s just really chill and really nice, like really nice.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” you agreed.
“It makes sense that you two would be friends. Nice people attract nice people.”
Wait, was that a line?
“Well, good night,” he said, pulling his blanket up and turning over. He pulled the extra pillow towards him and hugged it tightly, and soon enough he was snoring softly.
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Ducktales Comics: Spies Like Us and Dime after Dime or Weblena: The Preschool Days (Lena Retrospective) (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)
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Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Shadow Into Light, My Lena Retrospective, which fittingly has now come to Women’s History Month! I sadly do not have anything besides this arc prepared for the month. This month is pretty packed for me with two shows a week to cover, as while there’s only two weeks of Ducktales left final space starts up right after to take it’s spot, two arcs to cover, and two time specific movie reviews: animal crossing the movie and the 1990 TMNT film. I will try to get more than the currently planned top 12 superheroines list out there... but this month is very tight as is, so if I do not I deeply apologize.
Now that’s out of the way, it’s appropriate we start Women’s history month on some likely lesser known parts of Lena’s history, with some comics stories focusing on our faviorite emo lesbian duck and her 87 counterpart. Before I get started on that though Kev my patreon pointed out something intresting a few weeks back i’ve been forgetting to get to and since we’re looking into Minima, I felt this was the perfect time to do so: Lena’s Concept art. 
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There’s quite a few things to gleam from this. For starters as pointed out in the reddit thread I got the image as a whole from this was made in 2015, meaning Lena was one of the first new characters designed for the series and was part of it from the VERY early stages, as evidenced by the fact that despite clearly having their new personalities established, Beakly and Webby still had the old designs. 
The other notable change is that her first design was way more like both Magica nad Minima, a bit more modern, but clearly far more obvious who she was related to. She also had all black feathers making the shadow twist a bit more obvious and was likely done away with both to avoid giving that twist away, the same reason for the fake lestrange name, and to avoid accidently black coding her, as while Lena being black would’ve been intersting, it also would’ve invited a firestorm of controversy given that their one black character in season 1.. woul’dve started off as a homeless, manipulative antagonist, and none of that would play well nor was it something the progressive crew of this show couldn’t spot from a mile away.  And even this early on they have an almost final design ready, simply changing the shirt to fit her personality more, and her hair to be pink because it honestly looked better She also had green eyes throughout, but for whatever reason they phased them out. That part I don’t quite get as they look nice but probably they were hard to translate to the reboot style once they settled on their own. Her purple eyeshadow and haircut though have stuck since and were good calls. 
One last VERY obvious note.. Webby was gay for Lena from minute one. While Dana helped it is now VERY obvious they gay coded this relationship from the design phase, and the crew was entirely aware the whole time and I gave them less credit than I should have. They clearly had this in mind, and it’s very likely ONLY subtext because Disney, while making more and more progress, is very reluctant to have queer characters as Owl House was a struggle and since they have a tighter leash on properites based on the sensational 6, that means Frank knew they had the same odds of making Webby or Della queer in anything but subtext that a pig has of suviving in a slaughterhouse. I bring this up because I fear the series getting accused of queerbaiting somewhere down the road instead of doing what they could with a bad hand and hoping they could make the show as gay as they could. Penny is as out as they posisbly could get her, and Violet and Lena’s dad’s got a full apperance, if no speaking role that made it obvious beyond a shadow of a doubt their gay and did it in a plot important episode. So they did their best and I want them to get credit for that. 
But while this is all intresting stuff, join me under the cut for the meat of today’s review as I dig into Lena’s only apperance in the tie-in comic that was never punished here, and the only apperance of her protoype Minima.
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Spies Like Us:  As I mentioned this comic was never published here which is doubly weird to me because of how I knew this story existed. Since I follow comics weekly and buy trades reguarly, I read the solicits companies put out eveyr month to see what new series are coming, what the ones i’m currently reading are doing, and what trades are coming out. That sort of thing, and it’s something I love. I know their basically adds.. but their well put together adds that really pull you into the books you like. The big two and the indies are all very good at it and sometimes i’ts the only way to know a comic is coming if the company dosen’t make a press release for it ahead of time. 
So naturally given there are several comics I follow at idw, paticuarlly the TMNT comics, I read those solicits and found they were going to do an issue with Webby and Lena becoming spies, and was excited about it. I ended up forgetting about it and never really followed the Ducktales comic as it came out, and upon reading an issue or two recently, one for another comission by kev as one story, happy happy valley, was particularly terrible. For those who haven’t read the story or my review, it involved the family getting stranded on an island where their forced to partake in activites and smile..that somehow turned into an aseop about Louie wanting to be rich. It ended with this
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Yes.. really. That actually happened. But even with this, I fully planned to cover the issue when I covered Lena, and brought it up to Kev when he commissioned the retrospective. He gave me the discord equilvent of a blank stare and had never heard of it. I soon found out why: the story was replaced as, and fair play to disney, it spoiled Beakly’s past from the agent 23 episode which wasn’t going to air in time.  What dosen’t work is they never reprinted the story in The US.. didn’t put it in a future issue and just swap it’s place didn’t put it in the nothing. And the story was fully complete as we’ll see, with a cover and everything so they had no excuse whatsoever to NEVER use it, even with what happened to Lena in the season finale, this clearly took place before that and it was weird to just shelve it because of that. But thankfully when a bunch of the stories were reprinted overseas, this and another one, also webby centric got published overseas. But not in english.
Lucky for me, I was able to find an english translation of an english story which you can read RIGHT HERE. It was translated by @neopuff and I thank them for it as without them this review would not be possible and want to give them all the credit. So was it worth all their hard work translating it? Well let’s take a look. 
We begin at the Manor where Lena is skulking around suspiciously.. though it turns out she and Webby are just playing hide and seek. Though Lena accuses cheating. The dialouge here is pretty flat though that’s not Neopuff’s fault at all. As I can attest from reading other stories a lot of the early IDW comics are just this flat in dialoguge no matter the writer as they were likely given character descriptions and basic info about the show they likely had written up for merchandising and Frank and Co were given no involvement and likely weren’t made avaliable to consult on the comics to help them be a bit more fleshed out. It’s very obvious to me Disney just tried to get these pumped out so they’d have a series in stores to tie in without carring about qualities and given Scrooge debuted in comics, their lack of care toward that side of things in general, but especially in the first american published original duck comics in a while, bothers me a lot. It’s inexcusable. 
That being said the story isn’t half bad nor is the setup as the two hear a beeping and find it’s Beakly’s phone going off with a mysterious message from Q, Webby thinks she’s been reactivated, and is encouraged by Lena to go look after her while she stays along. While Webby says in response
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It just feels grossly out of character for both. Lena is far more subtle about manipulation as shown five minutes ago and Webby blindly trusts her. Because she has a massive crush on her and is naïve about how the world works. It just seems very odd of her to get suspicious as she never does on screen, and again it comes off as Disney having barely given the writers any materials on them when i’m sure Frank or Matt would’ve been happy to write up a thing for them to help outside of the usual press materials they were given. 
Though hte last line isn’t all that out of character and has an obvious answer as within a jumpcut Launchpad’s taking them to London and is told to blend in.. which he does with an australian flag and accent.. good gag. 
So our heroines do some heroic breaking and entering and look for the package, but soon find while hiding it’s already in transit.. and had obvious bows on int. Whoops. Our heroes trie the old follow tha tcar bit and refreshingly, it dosen’t pan out as the guy stops and tells them to get out. A nice twist. Unable to follow, our heroes instead find launchpad lost, as his map is upside down
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So Lena dares him if he can follow that plane, a nice bit of character for both. I will give Joe credit. While the dialouge’s a bit flat and there was that out of character moment.. for the most part he does nail the actual character down and does use it decently enough. He’s just not given enough page room or actual details to work  with is all. 
So while our heroes follow they end up having to crash as they run out of fuel.. lucky their with the expert but end up near home where the package is delivered to. Turns out this wasn’t a spy thing, this was just a thing with her aunt. That’s fine and a nice gag.. it’s just ruined by just sorta.. ending. Lena leaves disapointed and Beakly scolds webby for “playing spy” and she’s sad. That’s it that’s how it ends. Which dosen’t fit the characters, as while Beakly would defintely scold her, it just dosen’t FIT that she’d be that tearse or not appricate the effort or give her an actual lecture and it feels like Joe had no idea how to end this after the gag and just.. ended it. 
Final Thoughts for Spies Likes Us: This was okay.  It is a bit of a disappointment as for the only story not available.. i’ts just okay and not really above an average Ducktales comics story, with some nice character bits but feeling a bit weak overall, as do at least the first half of the idw comics. I haven’t read the later stuff to see if it got better. It’s worth a read if you like Webby and Lena as characters and it’s not BAD, it’s just not anything impressive and is a simple hyjinks filled misunderstanding story. 
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Dime After Dime:
So now  we go back a bit to the original. I didn’t do these in chronological order because frankly, Dime after Dime is the better story of the two and the bigger one at that, so I have more to work with here. But the original also had comics and honestly from the few i’ve read much BETTER comics. I chalk this up to two things: The Ducktales 87 comics seem to have come out AFTER the series was already a hit, and since Ducktales is pretty close to the original uncle scrooge comics minus it’s own tweaks here and there, it’s easy enough to just write the stories like you would a regular uncle scrooge story, just with Webby and Launchpad added, whereas the idw writers were staffed with writing for all new versions of the characters with noticable differences without much to go on.  It’s why to me with tie in comics you have two options: Wait long enough so you can put your story inbtween the episodes like the Steven Universe and Regular Show comics did or just make your own continuity entirely like the Adventure Time Comics and the Archie TMNT Adventures series did. The ONLY time i’ve seen a comic work like this is the Bravest Warriors comic, which had a talented writer and fit well enough in the margins until it sadly ended.. and honestly is BETTER in some cases than the series. I might get to it someday. The point is this comic shows why you need to have a deft hand adapting something instead of just falling your arms about and hoping it’ll work. 
So today’s comic was part of some Disney Series called cartoon tales, which clearly repackaged comic stories from wherever, and put them together. I don’t know much about it and the only other issue avaliable collects the disney adventures adaptation of “Just Us Justice Ducks”, which I might cover at some point. This book does have two other stories which i’d be happy to do on comission or on my own at some point, one involving gladstone the other gizmoduck, but for now, i’m just sticking to the title story and the reason you all came here. 
So we open with Magica gazing into her crystal ball from her Mt. Vesuvies base saying that Scrooge will never know what hit him I know exactly what and who wiil hit him thank you very much. 
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Scrooge is seeing Webby off to her first day of day camp, getting all teary eyed which is touching. Beakly apparently goes with her as the story never SAYS Sshe does but she’s not also not around when the story moves on, as Launchpad says it looks like rain. Scrooge dismisses him, though Launchpad turns out to be right. Scrooge had good reason for once though, instead of just being a dick good on you comic for making me not want to punch him in the face, trust me that is a high bar to clear with the scrooge comics, as the weather was fine just a minute ago. Naturally it was Magica All Along! Nothing scrooge can do now that eveyrthing has gone wrong! Her entrance though is sadly not a catchy earwormy tune, but .. this confusing line
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I think your thinking of Gladstone. And he’s still single so.. have at that but no Scrooge is the one who values hard work over anything else and brags about THAT or being rich. I .. I don’t get this line and frankly I don’t want to. Even in stories where the dime is supernaturally lucky and the source of his wealth he dosen’t boast about it because he’s not stupid and dosen’t want everyone knowing how to bankrupt him instantly. This line will baffle me until I die, presumably, given my life’s tragetctory, after reviewing an episode of mighty ducks and slipping on some a jerky wrapper. 
Scrooge asks what she wants... 
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No this isn’t that kind of story sadly. Her plan is to.. zap the bin with lightning and take the dime. Really just went with your first draft didn’t you magica? But as stupid as this plan is Scrooge has prepared for it. He installed a lightning rod on the bin to save on power, and to power his new super soaker traps. So all Magica did was save him money. She flies off and nothing is acomplished. 
So we get back to Webby at the Teenie Weenie Day Camp.. and just so you don’t think that was a terrible joke on my part...
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My theory for how this name got approved at all is the editor KNEW how that sounded and just wanted to see if Disney would actually print a comic with the phrase Teenie Weenie without getting what it means in slang or how hilariously inapproriate it is to namme a children’s camp after it. 
Your probably wondering who that grown woman calling Webby a dweeb is. Well story wise, she’s SUPPOSED to be another kid at the camp around Webby’s age. In practice, she looks like THIS in closeup
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So it looks and plays like a 30 year old woman snuck into the day camp and no one’s noticed she’s not actually a children. Or their just humoring her because she had a week to live. I don’t know. I do know she doesn’t get to judge on names. 
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Snippy Von Glitz, proof rich people really do hate their kids and this this comic is trying personally to give me material. Snippy is your average alpha bitch, taking a chair from Minma and being obnoxious and classist and all that jazz. Minima gets hers back by making the chair bouncy then returning it to normal so Snippy gets in trouble when she makes up things about the chair, with the lady in charge getting ready to call her Dad. You cannot convince me that her “Dad” is just what she calls her husband, this is how they both get off, and that the lady at the preschool only tolerates it because they pay her a lot and so far the kids haven’t noticed Snippy is 30. Webby likes minima finding her name pretty, proving that the ho yay is alive no matter the webby and magica relative, and Minma returns the favor by saving her from a block. 
Minma is reluctant to make an actual friend, finding they aren’t worth anything and given most of the kids here apparently pick on her and her aunt is well.. Magica, it’s understandable why she’d be so cold. But Webby presses on and says something from Scrooge about friends. Which given Ducktales scrooge has none goes weird but it gets Minma to find out she knows and lives with Scrooge, so she cons webby into taking the dime for show and tell, showing that she can manipulate them with her powers, and that he won’t notice it’s missing, getting her with “I thought you wanted to be friends” 
So let’s pause for a second and compare and contrast the two: Both are the niece, or at least sorta in Lena’s case, of Magica, both manipulate webby, and both are her first real friend: The 87 boys are little monsters and I don’t consider them friends or even brothers, while the 2017 ones are just that: brothers. Their her siblings in all but blood, not friends and have hteir own long complicated history. 
But otherwise the two are vastly different. Lena is a far more complex character as she’s been abused her whole life, is a rebel because Magica hardly gave her agency, and while she starts wooing webby out of self interest it’s clear even as far as the first episode she cares. Lena would gladly be part of the world if she could and this whole scheme is to gain that choice. 
Minma is still sympathetic but very different: She walls herself off because the other kids laugh and mock her for being herself and lashes out at them.. not unreasonably mind , but still feeling she needs no one else.. but as we’ll learn later she’s only helping Magica to finally feel accepted, to get all the fancy clothes and stuff that will make her popular instead of that grown woman masquerading as a kid for disturbing reasons. Minma is at her heart just a hurt kid desperate to fit in. And while Lena shares the desire for a place to belong.. it’s at it’s core much sadder. Lena.. wants a family. Someone to love her and to care about her and actually look after her. Minma has that she just wants to be loved. it’s similar but very diffrent and I can see why Lena evolved into what she did, as Frank and Matt ended up going in a far darker but ultimately more interesting direction. Minima is not a bad character at all though and without her I don’t think we would’ve had Lena, but at the end of the day the 87verse is just not that complicated, so the reboot needed something more and that more evolved into who we have now. 
Both kids excitedly talk about their new friends, with their respective guardians being distracted. Scrooge is distracted by the fact his car is a bit bumpy and Launchpad offers to fix it up for free with some parts from a buddy, which given the sentence “This won’t cost you anything” makes him erect, Scrooge agrees. Magica meanwhile, whose watching Minima while her mom is away which raises a LOT of questions we don’t have time for like who she is, is she’s poes wife or does Magica have other siblings... it’s a lot of questions we’re never going to get answers to. 
The next day Webby got the dime easy as Scrooge was distracted. so Minima swaps them while she’s distracted. But while swiping it was easy, which to be fair Webby is likely approved in his security so it woudln’t match her.. or the story just needed to progress. You make the call. 
Magica does the logical thing and goes and get sthe dime and the story ends there.. and i’m shitting you, she of course brags to scrooge, reveals minima as her spy, and offers to RACE him for it shortly after he realizes he has a fake.
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The only major flaw in this story is Magica’s overconfdience, which isn’t BAD persay, but here has gotten to dumbass proportions. She just can’t plan for anything and a CHILD has a better plan than her that only dosen’t work for reasons we’ll get to. And that plan is almost ruined by Magica taunting scrooge!
So a race is on but Launchpad has transformed Scrooge’s old Model T into this
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Damn that’s cool. Scrooge of course dosen’t like it, but honestly you get what you paid for. Oh that’s right you paid nothing for something you NEED to use every day for transportation. 
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At  the rickity thickity bridge, Steve Buschemi’s worst roll and her minion ask Webby to roll with them and Minima mistakes this for betrayal planning to soak them all.. only for Webby to DEFEND HER, pointing out minma’s her friend, how she dresses is fine and she loves her no matter what.. the last part’s implied. The 30-year old asshole and her minon leave Webby and Minma is genuinely touched, as no one’s done that for her before. She put up so many walls... she didn’t realize someone could ACTUALLY care about her, so obessed with thinking she had to be like that soccer mom in preschoolers clothing, she just had to be herself: kinda werid but in that fun adams family way. Webby says she knows Minma would do the same.. so while she prepares to let’s get back to the race. Magica realizes Launchpad’s roadster is actually gaining and spreads some tacks, but Scrooge counters with some money.. because of course he has a lot of money in the trunk. But Magica takes out the bridge and while scrooge awesomely JUMPS IT... he’s still too late. 
As you probably guess though, Minima had a change of heart, and gave Webby the real dime back, and Scrooge confirms it. Minima TRIES to tell Magica, and Magica is horrified her niece is a goody goody “I”ll never hear the end of it at my astral aerobics class”.. I.. I want to see that. Let’s raise those spirit ladies and kick kick that soul, doge that shadow king punch them in the soul. Yes! Now eat it eat it and absorb it’s power!
We end on a button joke as Webby apologizes for taking the dime., Scrooge accepts it and Webby tells them magica learned to carpet and they gulp for some reason. 
Final Thoughts on Dime after Dime: This story was decent. It has problems, some jokes don’t land and Magica is made horribly incompetent, but minima’s character arc is endearing, and Webby herself is precious as always and her winning Minima over feels genuine. And Scrooge is in prime adoring uncle mode with her and i’ts just so cute. And the roadster race is pretty awesome to watch honestly. It’s an exceptional and enjoyable tie in story.. and not the last ducktales 87 story we’ll be covering here. Wink wonk. 
Next Time: Things get DARK as Lena and Webby head into the depths of Scrooge’s hidden bin and Lena heads into the depths of her own soul. 
Tommorow: Woo-Ooo mofos as we go back to the very beginning of the reboot! A family restored, a lost city to explore, and a glomgold rises! Be here or be square. 
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lesbianlotties · 3 years
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Sam Fraser Has a Good Day
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Deena Johnson Characters: Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Deena Johnson Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Not Canon Compliant, Everyone Is Alive, Nightmares, Breakfast, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Napping, Dancing, Late Night Conversations, Making Out, Kissing, Fluff without Plot, Domestic Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluff, literally what the title says Words: 2401
In the span of a couple of days, Sam Fraser was: in a car crash, chased by several undead killers, used as bait, almost overdosed, drowned, possessed, tied up in the trunk of a car, hit in the head several times... and somehow she survived.
She deserves a good day. She deserves to: stay in her girlfriend's house and steal her sweaters, sleep until noon, have a good breakfast, eat jello in peace, get clean bandages, play video games, eat ice cream, take a nap, dance to her favorite songs, go on a late-night drive for cheeseburgers, and cuddle and kiss her girlfriend the entire day.
Sam wakes up startled, as usual. She is gasping for air and sitting up hastily. Was she having a nightmare? Is she stepping into a nightmare now? Because she can tell she’s wearing one of Deena’s t-shirts. But what if her mom sees her? Is she going to catch her? Should she start running from something, or keep herself from running toward something? 
“Sam?”
That soft voice is the one that breaks the spell.
“Deena,” Sam sighs. 
“Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay,” Deena whispers, tentatively wrapping her arms around her girlfriend. Instantly, she feels Sam relax in her embrace.
“Sorry,” Sam mumbles, tucking her face on the crook of Deena’s neck. “Just a nightmare.”
“I got you,” Deena says softly. She places a kiss on Sam���s forehead and carefully guides them to lay down again. “It’s early. Why don’t you go back to sleep?” Deena asks, realizing right after that Sam fell asleep before answering at all.
--
A couple of hours later, Sam wakes up again. This time there are no nightmares, no screams of terror caught in her throat, no reaching out blindly for air or a weapon. She wakes up slowly, clutching the heavy blanket that covers her body, yawning without restrain, and eventually opening her eyes slowly. The first thing she does is look for her girlfriend, and she finds her sitting at the foot of the bed, sketching on a notebook with an endearing frown of concentration on her face.
“Good morning,” Sam says through a new yawn.
“Well,” Deena smirks fondly at her, “it is closer to noon now, but good morning to you too, baby.”
“What? Noon?” Sam frowns and attempts to rub the sleep off her eyes. “Since when do I sleep longer than you?” Sam asks, and puts on a pout on her lips for her next question, “And why are you so far away?”
Deena chuckles affectionately at her and puts away her pencil and notebook. She crawls back to her girlfriend and playfully flops down beside her. “Hey,” Deena greets her with her signature raspy tone. She receives a dreamy “hi” and a soft peck on the lips in response. Afterward, she explains, “To answer your question, I just thought you deserved a day to sleep in.” When Sam gives her a look of pleased surprise, Deena adds, “In fact, I think you’ve earned a full day, just for you, to rest and enjoy.”
“Deena, you don’t have to do that,” Sam attempts to protest, right before her girlfriend interrupts her with a kiss that turns into two, and three, and four, and soon enough they simply lose count.
--
Deena’s plans encounter an obstacle as soon as they manage to leave the comfort of her room to go make breakfast. Sam was fresh out of the shower, wearing one of Deena’s t-shirts this time. Deena barely gets to open the fridge before Sam tries to intervene with a soft-spoken, “Let me.” It’s safe to say that Deena puts up quite a fight, though.
“I just wanted to take care of you for one day, okay?” She insists. “You fucking deserve it.”
“That’s sweet,” Sam replies, feeling absolutely endeared. She leans in and places a kiss on Deena’s forehead, and Deena tries and fails to keep up her frown. “Listen, I appreciate it, and I love you for it, okay?” Sam says, giving Deena’s lips a small kiss. “But consider this. One, you already took care of me at my worst. Two, a perfect day, for me, means that you get to enjoy it too, and I get to take care of you too, got it? And three… do you really want to burn my breakfast on my special day?”
Sam attempted to quickly kiss Deena’s cheek and run away, but the brunette was quick enough to reach out and take her in her arms, ticking her in revenge for the not-unfounded critique of her culinary skills.
--
After their meal, the two girls make their way to the living room’s couch, where they are free to cuddle and exchange lazy kisses for as long as they could possibly want. Eventually, though, Deena finds the strength to pull away long enough to have an actual conversation.
“So, while you were sleeping, Kate and Simon stopped by,” Deena says. “Everyone feels kind of bad about you, you know, getting possessed and shit.” Deena pauses with a grimace, not proud of her choice of words, but Sam quickly kisses her cheek to urge her to go on. Deena begrudgingly stands up from the couch, to look for a certain bag, and explains, “Josh, oh so generously, gave us the gift of privacy and he is staying the fuck away from home for the day. He’s sleeping at Simon’s house. Also, he says you can play his video games, if you want. And… Kate and Simon brought all this.”
Deena drops a bag from the Grab N’ Bag on the couch and Sam eagerly looks through its contents. She gasps, “Finally!” And pulls out one of many packets of jello. 
Deena’s love-sick laugh spills right out of her lips. “You’re adorable,” Deena says before kissing the top of Sam’s head and climbing back to the couch beside her. “There’s also popcorn, chips, ice cream is in the fridge, a couple of your favorite movies that I think were yours in the first place and they’re just returning, and a happy birthday card because they don’t exactly make cards for the shit we’ve lived,” Deena explains, content to watch her girlfriend smile and nod happily while enjoying her jello. Then she clears her throat and not so contentedly adds, “We also have a bunch of uh, fresh bandages and stuff.”
The two girls exchange a look and understand exactly what this means.
--
“This is not what I had in mind when I planned to give you a perfect day,” Deena says. She is sitting on the bathroom counter without a shirt on while Sam gives the final touches to the fresh bandage on Deena’s stomach. At the beginning, her hands were shaking with guilt, and fear, but she quickly got them under control and lovingly worked on the healing wound that a different version of herself caused.
“I told you,” Sam insists without looking away from her work. “I also want to take care of you, you know?” She is standing there without her shirt on, with an equally fresh bandage on her back.
When Sam iss done, Deena gently grabs her hands and moves them up to her lips to kiss them sweetly. “Thank you,” she whispers.
Sam turns breathless at the gesture. She feels butterflies in her stomach and decides to tell Deena how much she’s enjoying her day. Speechless as she is though, Sam only thinks to lean forward and connect their lips, determined to kiss her girlfriend until they lose track of time.
--
Some time later, Sam finds herself comfortably seated on her girlfriend’s lap, wearing her sweater again, and biting her lip in great concentration as she tries to succeed at one of Josh’s video games.
“You nerd, I can’t believe you’re into this,” Deena chuckles fondly behind her.
“Hush, I almost got it,” Sam mumbled.
As much as Deena wants Sam to win whatever game that is, she thinks it would be a crime to hold herself back in a position as convenient as this one. So she moves Sam’s blonde hair out of the way and starts placing feather-light kisses on her neck. At first, Sam tries to ignore her. Then, she squirms just a little. After a very effective bite from Deena, a small whimper escapes from Sam’s lips.
“Tell me,” Deena starts saying with a seductive whisper. “Do the other cheerleaders know you’re secretly a dork?”
That finally gets Sam to stop the game and turn around with a gasp. “Deena!” she protests, although she’s laughing. And she crashes her lips together. She would hate to let Deena win so easily, but she feels much more like a winner in this situation.
--
Sometime in the afternoon, Sam wakes up on the couch with her head on Deena’s chest. She’s so perfectly comfortable and warm and safe, that she starts to feel suspicious. She didn’t even have a bad dream at all. She starts to fearfully consider this might be nothing but a dream about to turn into a nightmare, but then she moves her head up to look at her girlfriend and her worries vanish all at once. Deena is still asleep, she’s frowning a little and her lips are slightly parted as she adorably mumbles in her sleep. The feeling of love and adoration in Sam’s chest is so strong and so real that she doesn’t have any doubt this has to be her reality. 
After all the pain, the fear, and the danger of it all, this is real, and they earned it. It’s not even just about those days of extreme violence when they ended the curse, it’s even bigger than that. It’s a moment of well-earned peace and happiness that’s been more than three hundred years in the making. They have been fighting for this moment their entire lives, and they were so close to losing hope forever, but they made it. Deena was right, they fucking deserve it.
So, Sam makes a couple of decisions. First, she decides it’s best if they go one day without watching a horror movie. As much as she loves them, they have had enough horror for a while. And two, she decides that continuing her nap is the perfect way to honor Deena’s wish of giving her a perfect day. She gets comfortable again on top of her girlfriend and drifts back to sleep.
--
Not too long later, Sam and Deena are in the middle of a tube of ice cream and halfway through watching Grease. Well, Deena is watching the movie. Sam is a little more focused on the extremely amusing sight of Deena trying to avoid smiling at the movie.
“Oh my God, you love it,” Sam keeps giggling whenever Deena slips up and grins at the movie on the television screen.
“No, I fucking don’t,” Deena rolls her eyes, makes no move to quit the movie, and adds through gritted teeth, “I just acknowledge that it’s a classic.”
Her words only make Sam smile even brighter as she continues to take spoonfuls of ice cream and marvel at the sight of her girlfriend.
--
A perfect day, of course, wouldn’t be complete without listening to the mixtape Deena made for Sam, and dancing in the middle of her bedroom without a care in the world.
Sam is the one that starts dancing, swinging her arms around, not very gracefully. And Deena shakes her head at her with extreme fondness. “You are a weirdo, Sam Fraser,” she says, making her girlfriend laugh, completely unaffected by the comment.
“Dance with me,” Sam replies with a carefree grin on her face. She steps forward and pulls on Deena’s arms until she convinces her to dance with her.
As usual, Deena tries to put up a fight that she loses as soon as she stares into precious blue eyes. There’s not a thing she wouldn’t do for Sam. They already had to do the most extreme things for each other. How could she refuse her girlfriend a dance?
It’s a perfect evening to a perfect day. The two of them dance to their favorite songs, laugh wholeheartedly, kiss without holding back, jump and spin and fall in each other's arms again and again, as if falling in love all over with every new song.
--
As comfortable as it would be to stay home for the last few hours of the day, the perfect dinner to complete the day means getting cheeseburgers. Not even Deena complains about the idea. After all, she always loved driving around town with Sam in the passenger seat, humming along to the songs on her mixtape, her blonde hair glowing under the streetlights they passed, completely comfortable silence between them, without a destination in mind. 
They park the car at a familiar spot. They eat their cheeseburgers, playfully feed fries to each other, and have a perfectly good time. Conversation flows easily between them, reminiscing of old memories or sharing dreams of a bright future that starts to feel more possible than ever before.
When Sam starts yawning, Deena is quick to point out, “You’re sleepy.”
“Am not,” Sam scoffs in that very particular way that tells Deena her girlfriend is blatantly lying.
“Don’t fall asleep on me, Fraser. How rude,” Deena teases her.
Sam giggles happily in response. She can’t deny she’s looking forward to returning home to Deena’s bed, but she genuinely loves to put up a fight against her girlfriend, no matter how often she ends up losing. 
“I’m very awake,” Sam insists, a knowing look on her face because she can easily predict Deena’s answer.
“Prove it,” Deena says.
Even before she’s done saying the words, Sam is leaning in to kiss her. They kiss, again and again, until Sam whispers against Deena’s lips, “Take me home.”
--
It’s well past midnight when Sam and Deena finally agree that even perfect days must come to an end. They lie in Deena’s bed, facing each other, legs tangled together, often exchanging kisses or sweet words that only exist in that vulnerable space between them.
“Thank you,” Sam whispers. She pushes a stray brown curl behind Deena’s ear, then her hand rests for a moment there on Deena’s cheek, her thumb lovingly caressing her skin.
“I told you,” Deena replies in an equally hushed tone even though they have the entire house for themselves. “You deserve it,” she adds, then she turns her head just enough to place a small kiss to the inside of Sam’s wrist, making the blonde smile timidly.
“I’m not talking about today,” Sam says. She considers explaining that she means she’s saying thank you for absolutely every moment they spent together since they met, but…
“I know,” Deena says. Her smile widens and she adds, “Just so you know, I also enjoyed today, a lot. So thank you too.”
Sam replies with a sweet kiss to Deena’s lips. Then the two of them cuddle closer and slowly, peacefully, happily drift off to a good and restful night of sleep.
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srose-foxfire · 3 years
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“First Impressions” Part: 6 (Finale) Damirae Pic
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
A/N: Hello Everyone. We finally made it to the finale of “First Impressions” I wanna thank you all for being with me and following along with this fic. This started out as a one-shot but after writing part 1; I couldn’t just stay there and decided to make it into a longer fic. I hoped you enjoy it thus far. This part in particular is longer than the other parts.
I would also like to take the time and wishing Happy Birthday / Belated Birthday to @ravenfan1242 . I wanna personally say thank you so much for all the support you give to artists and writers, like myself in the Damirae community. You may not know this, but you were my very fist commenter on my very first Damirae fic I had written when I first joined tumblr. Your words cheered me right up and gave me the confidence I needed to continue writing. I hope you enjoy this small gift from me. Thank you.
Without further ado, enjoy the story!
~ Simona R.  
-- -- --
Part: 6
Where in his right mind did Damian think this was a good idea? He stood in front of his bathroom mirror and looked at the ‘work of art’ his sisters and Raven had done on him. Layers of foundation, contour, and highlight were plastered all over his face. His eyes were covered in a golden-brown eyeshadow, the girls then added some golden shimmer over it. Cass went ahead and nearly poked his eyes out when she used a liquid eyeliner to create a cat-eye look over his eyes. Stephanie was adding a light peach blush onto Damian’s cheeks. As for Raven who looked like she was actually enjoying torturing him, finished his ‘look’ with a dark purple matte liquid lipstick.
When he saw Cass grabbing her phone, Damian made a run for the door and dashed towards his bedroom. Damian touched his cheek, debating the choices he made that ended him looking like this. He turned on the faucet with warm running water and soaked a hand towel in it. Damian then started scrubbing his face clean; he looked hideous. The make-up wasn’t coming off easily and instead was smudging across his face, why did girls enjoy this, Damian had to wonder. He felt dirty and his face felt thick and tight from all the stuff that was plaster onto his face. Damian turned the water off and threw the hand towel in the sink. Lost in thought. He could had just said no, but he didn’t.
-- -- --
A few minutes earlier Damian had stood outside of Cass’s room when Raven entered to confess, she made up Jasper Sky. One may call him a stalker for leaning against the doorway, but Damian was there for Raven’s sake. He had promised to be there in case the confession had gone bad. Cass’s bedroom became extremely quiet, Damian couldn’t make out words anymore. He concentrated and heard a soft cry. Panicked and worry made him throw the door open to find his sisters hugging Raven, while Raven cried happily in their arms.
His sisters shocked at his outburst both cursed and questioned him what he was doing. Damian shot a quick glance towards Raven who was starting to flush. His sisters didn’t know the promise he had made to Raven. In order to save them both from being interrogated by his sisters, Damian had to come up with a quick plan. The first and only thing that popped in Damian’s mind was “I would like to try that make-over!”
-- -- --
Damian exited his bathroom and tirelessly fell onto his bed. He looked up to the ceiling and watch his ceiling fan just spun. At some point the girls would need to eat, Damian thought. Which would give him a chance to sneak into Cass’s room and take some facial cleansing wipes to clean his face. He should had been more patient and waited for Raven to come out, but the thought of her crying only terrified him greatly. He never wanted to see her cry or be scared, but even he could never stop that. But Damian hope he could be the one to bring Raven comfort, if she allowed him.
Damian’s thoughts were interrupted when someone was heard knocking onto his bedroom door. He turned his head towards the sound and contemplated if he should even open it. If it was one of his older brothers and found him in the state he was in, they would make Damian the laughing stalk of his family till he died. Though Damian rather die if it turned out either his father or Alfred ever saw him in his ridiculous state. How did the heir to Wayne Enterprises come to this? The knocking continued as Damian thought of the last person he would want to see. Cass. Damian knew very well, out of all his siblings, Cass has the largest following in her social media. What if she was trying to take a picture and post it to the whole world?! Worse she was actually coming to get him and drag him back to her room so they could add more cosmetics?
Please no more. What more could they possible add? The door was now being banged and each knocked sounded more frantic than the next. Damian groined into his hands, got up and walked towards his door. “Damn it Cass, enough is enough. I am not going back out there.”
“Actually, it’s me Damian.”Upon hearing her voice, Damian immediately unlocked his door and opened to find Raven holding some facial wipes and a few bottles, which he presumed to be used to remove cosmetics. “I brought some stuff to help clean your face.” She said softly.
Damian lifted a brow and then peek through the doorway before retuning his gaze to her. “It’s just you right? The she-devils aren’t near?”
“She-devils? Your sisters? Damian that’s mean and no they’re busy applying each other a facial mask.”
“Come in.”
Very timidly Raven walked into his room as Damian closed the door behind him. Damian continued to study her as she carefully walked like a frightened doe. What was she so afraid of him? Did she think he be upset with her over the make-over? Then he came to a realization, this was the first time Raven had entered his room. Every time she came over to the manor, the only places he would find her was in Cass’s room, the manor’s library, and the kitchen. Damian had never once invited her to his room.
As Damian continue to think of what he could say to comfort Raven in this most awkward situation, Raven had cleared her throat. “Where would you like to sit?” She asked very shyly.
Damian looked around his room and wished his desk had two chairs instead of one. He walked past her and sat down on the thick carpet, reclining against his bed. Raven followed him and bended down to her knees, she carefully placed the box of facial wipes in front of her and laid a few bottles next to them. She pulled out a wipe and carefully started rubbing his left cheek.
At first Damian tried keeping his gaze towards the carpet floor and count each thread. But his will betray him, he would catch himself side-glancing towards Raven as she carefully continues to clean his face. Afraid he would be caught; Damian closed his eyes and focused on how soft she was being with him. It felt like a massage and the tense knots he had in his face loosened under her touch. Damian leaned his head back against his bed and let out a deep sigh.
“So, my sisters forgave you, correct?”
“They did. Is as you said, they don’t hold grudges though they wanted a complete explanation on why I had to come up with Jasper Sky.”
“Like what?”
“Well I told them something specifically, and with that they backed down.” Raven carefully rubbed his brows clean. The room then became quiet and the only sound heard was the rubbing on his skin.
“I’m sorry.” Raven said in the most-lowest voice possible. “You’re like this because of me and… sigh… I’m sorry.”
Raven pulled away as she threw some used wipes into one pile. Damian looked at her and noticed how some of her lashes had grouped together due to her crying earlier. Remembering how thathad made him feel. Damian looked down at her hands and without even noticing with himself wrapped his hand around hers making Raven look up into his eyes.
“Don’t be.” Damian said as he pulled Raven’s hand closer to his chest. “You have nothing to apologize for, I put myself in this situation and… I would do it again to make sure you’re alright.”
Raven looked shocked at his words. She was right to be. Though now that he revealed this to her, Damian need to tell her more and come clean of his own feelings. He took a deep breath and allowed his heart to speak, “Raven, I have fallen in love with you. My heart beats every-time I am with you, my day lights up at the mention of your name. You are the most unique and most beautiful girl I have ever met. You view the world with a sense of wonder and I would like to see it through your eyes. I-”
Damian stopped when he saw Raven’s eyes watered. What had he done? This was too much and too soon for her.  He sighed, “just forget I said anything-”
Raven slammed her lips onto his, she cupped his face between her palms. She was actually squishing his face, but Damian didn’t feel any pain or didn’t knowhow to react since his brain decided not to function anymore. The poor boy was left in shock, Raven then released his face and slowly pulled away. Hiding her palms between her thighs. Her face was ridiculous flushed, but she was so beautiful, and Damian couldn’t help but stare. “I fallen in love with you too, Damian. I…I love you.”
Damian gave her a warm smile, he touched her cheek and pulled her onto his lap. Once she was settled, Raven wrapped one arm around his neck while the other stroke his check. The two youth continue to smile before both of them leaned into each other for another kiss. This kiss was slow almost as if though this kiss alone they could tell each other their true feelings and leaving themselves open to one another. They pulled and just looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. 
Raven giggled in his arms as she wrapped both arms around his neck, “I actually had a crush on you since before we met.” Damian raised a brow at her as he waited for her to continue, “Your family would tell me stories about you and well I couldn’t wait to me the Damian Wayne.”
“Well lucky for me, I just hope I didn’t raise any concerns after my first impression.”
“Actually, after calming down the whole incident made you look hot. I found out just how much your father’s books meant to you and the lengths you would go to protect the people you loved. Only made the crush I had on you grow.”
Damian only smiled at her and gave her a quick peck on her temple, Raven sighed and rested her head against his chest. “Is there a way for you to sneak away from my sisters tomorrow? I would like to take you out on an official date.”
“I will let them know I won’t be available for a few hours but I’m sure they will be okay with it… they did give me their blessing to date you.”
Before Damian had a chance to ask her what she meant by that, his bedroom door was blasted open, with all his siblings coming through popping confetti poppers and Cass holding up her phone snapping a picture of them, “Damn right you have our blessing Rae, whoo welcome to the family, sister!”
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