#awkward bruce wayne

[oldmannapping]

Fic: Bodyswap (Part 2)

Part One

Based on my own prompt about wanting a body-swap fic that dealt with the gross embarrassing parts.

This has expanded into something more than I intended, but I can't stop writing.

It's a Dick-Jason, Tim-Steph bodyswap. There is literally no plot. They're body-swapped and trying to deal with it, that's it. No pairings, past Steph/Tim.

It's crack treated like crack. It's two parts for now but I might add more. Warnings for language, discussions of menstruation, discussions of sexuality.

EXCERPT:

“This isn’t just PMS,” Tim continues blithely. “This is definitely something more.”

Bruce and Dick take sizeable steps backwards. Jason cackles.

Steph flares Tim’s nostrils and opens her mouth. Far too late, Tim realises that he’s in danger.

“Timothy.” Somehow, she makes Tim’s voice growl almost as low as Batman’s. “PMS is not JUST anything. When women say that they are tired. Sad. Having cravings. Not themselves. We are not just making excuses to lie in bed and let the patriarchy win.”

Oh no, she said “patriarchy”. Tim’s fucked.

Bruce rubs his forehead, eyes pinched closed. He’s only been in the Cave for six minutes and he’s already regretting every life choice that led to this moment.

“So you can read each other’s minds?” he clarifies, still not opening his eyes.

“No,” Jason snaps derisively.

“Not really,” says Dick dick-lomatically. (Duke used that word ONE TIME and no one has ever let it go.) “It’s more like… familiar thought patterns? I’m still me, with my memories and thoughts, but I’ve got Jason’s… knee jerk reactions. His instincts. It’s hard to describe.”

“I haven’t noticed anything like that,” says Tim, peering at the older men with curiosity. “I haven’t run too many experiments yet though. I’m planning all sorts of cognitive testing and brain scans but I’ve been really foggy-headed and haven’t been able to put it together like I normally would.”

He frowns. “Now that I think about it, maybe that’s a symptom in itself. Could it be that the spell actively smothers attempts to break it? I was writing a program to analyse the results of some basic nerve conduction studies yesterday and I got so tired I had to have a nap. When I woke up, I was ravenous and completely forgot about the studies. This is fascinating. Bruce, is there any precedent for spells that are self-protecting like that? This could be something we should consult Zatanna about, or maybe even Constantine…”

“Yo, Boy Genius,” interrupts Steph, clicking Tim’s fingers in front of her own face. “That wasn’t the spell. Brain fog, fatigue, increased appetite? Congratulations, you’ve just discovered PMS.”

Tim is aghast. Jason has barked a surprised laugh and Dick and Bruce seem baffled.

“That, that can’t be right,” Tim insists. “You don’t understand Steph, I was operating WAY below my usual capacity. This wasn’t just a little brain fog. I was having a hard time with codes that I’d normally be able to do in my sleep. I forgot the word for “synthesise”. I took a two-hour nap then ate half a rotisserie chicken. I threw my keyboard across the room and then cried when it broke.”

“That was my chicken,” says Dick in a small, sad voice. Jason’s body needs a LOT of protein.

“This isn’t just PMS,” Tim continues blithely. “This is definitely something more.”

Bruce and Dick take sizeable steps backwards. Jason cackles.

Steph flares Tim’s nostrils and opens her mouth. Far too late, Tim realises that he’s in danger.

“Timothy.” Somehow, she makes Tim’s voice growl almost as low as Batman’s. “PMS is not JUST anything. When women say that they are tired. Sad. Having cravings. Not themselves. We are not just making excuses to lie in bed and let the patriarchy win.”

Oh no, she said “patriarchy”. Tim’s fucked.

Steph’s not done. “We are not weak. We are not hysterical, moody hypochondriacs with wandering wombs. We are experiencing the VERY REAL mental and physical and emotional effects of our bodies preparing to have a BABY and then overhauling itself by EJECTING AN ENTIRE BABY HOUSE out of our vaginas.”

She’s still not done. Tim’s trying not to breathe in case that makes her angrier.

“I’ve gone on patrol with a heat pack strapped under my costume. I’ve sat exams on days when I can’t remember which bus I usually take. I’ve cried in the bathroom at work and wiped my eyes, reapplied my mascara, and gone back out there because I’m a fucking woman and that’s what we’re doing every single freaking day while you assholes are telling us that we’re biologically designed to earn 35% less than you.”

Tim opens Steph’s mouth and all the other men in the room know that whatever he's about to say is going to be a mistake. “I don’t think women should earn less than men,” is what he lands on.

Bruce decides to speak up before Steph can reply. He's very brave. “So we can reasonably assume that the spell isn’t actively trying to prevent anyone from breaking it,” he says, clearing his throat. “And it doesn’t transfer thoughts and memories, but engrained thought patterns and autonomous reactions.”

Dick is very happy to be back on topic. “Yeah, basically.”

“What are some examples?” asks Bruce, walking to the Batcomputer and pulling up a spreadsheet.

Jason and Dick glower at each other silently, not wanting a rehash of their previous argument. This whole situation was dignity-shattering enough.

Dick coughs. “Jason and I have noticed,” he says carefully, “that we have each other’s automatic reflexes to situations. I’ve noticed that my aggression levels are up. I’m always wanting to scan the room for a threat. Jason’s noticed similar things about my body’s reactions.” He hopes that’s enough detail.

Bruce hums thoughtfully. “I don’t think it’s just your bodies,” he muses, typing rapidly. “It could be your brains – your actual, physical brains, not your consciousness or whatever’s been transferred by the spell. Brains like patterns and routines. It makes them effective. It seems that while your consciousnesses have been transplanted, the structure of each of your brains has remained unchanged.”

“Has anyone studied this before?” asks Tim, pulling up his phone and tapping away. “It makes sense but I’ve never heard of body-swapping having this particular wrinkle before.”

“It sounds like your bodies’ hormone levels remained the same too,” says Bruce awkwardly, glancing at Tim-in-Steph’s-body’s abdomen with faint alarm. “Of course, we’ll need to run further tests but that shouldn’t be too difficult since we’ve already been taking daily bloods…” He hums again and opens several more browsers, muttering to himself.

-_-

“TESTING!” booms Bruce’s voice suddenly, two hours later. He looks around. He is alone in the Cave. He presses the intercom. “Alfred, could you gather the kids and tell them- Dammit!” He misses Alfred so much. Bruce sighs and dials Dick’s phone, calling his children back to the Cave.

Once they’re assembled, he starts again.

“TESTING.”

They’re standing in a circle on the mats. Jason’s pointedly holding his phone where Dick can see the screen as he scrolls through nipple piercing and tattoo websites. Dick is trying to focus politely on Bruce. Tim and Steph are glowering grumpily next to each other.

Bruce ignores their moods. He claps his hands. He’s excited for testing. Testing is one of his favourite parts of weird magic times.

“Dick!” he says, pointing. “Unlock Jason’s phone.”

Rolling his eyes, Jason locks his phone and hands it off to Dick. Dick starts to hold it up to his/Jason’s face when Bruce says, “No, with the PIN. Don’t think about it, just see if you can do it with muscle memory.”

Dick looks back to the phone and stares for a beat. Then, his thumbs move rapidly to swipe through a nine-digit code. The phone unlocks.

“Motherfucker,” Jason swears, grabbing his phone back.

“You didn’t know the code before now?” confirms Bruce. Dick shakes his head. “What is it?”

Dick frowns, then shrugs. “I have no idea. My thumbs just-“ He mimes typing on a phone. “It was too quick for me to catch all the numbers.”

“Fascinating.” Bruce is so excited to add to his spreadsheet. He pulls something out of his pocket and throws it to Steph.

She catches it automatically. “Okay? We know we all have good reflexes?”

“You caught it with your left hand,” points out Bruce. “Even though that meant you had to reach across your body. Even though you, Stephanie, are right-handed, this body is not. This body’s brain and mind are still wired to have Tim’s reflexes even if you’re the one in conscious control.”

The four affected youths eye each other warily.

Bruce pulls out a folder. “I’ve printed some pictures to show you. I want you to give me your automatic reactions to these images, don’t overthink it.”

He goes through both benign and personal pictures. It turns out that seeing Dick’s favourite food makes Jason’s mouth water. Seeing Steph’s old childhood toy gives Tim, in her body, a jolt of nostalgic nausea even though he’s never seen the tatty bear before. (“How do you even have a picture of Mr Huggins?” asks Steph. “Creeper.”) Seeing a playground makes Tim’s body anxious and Jason’s body prickle with protective anticipation.

They all thoroughly agree that Bruce is weird for making them do all of this and then immediately disband to run secret individual experiments on their own.

-_-

“This body!” snaps Jason. “This body is so NEEDY!”

Dick groans. “What now?”

Jason paces restlessly. “First it needs to move all the damn time. I always thought you were fidgeting and doing handstands off tables and shit to be annoying, but you really can’t help it.”

Dick shrugs. “It’s been kinda weird to be in your body and not feel like that. I keep thinking I’m forgetting something but it’s just that I haven’t moved in a while and usually that’s a problem. No wonder you don’t mind long stakeouts.”

“No wonder you hate them,” Jason agrees. “It’s not even that this time. It’s this weird, like, almost itching. Like a shortness of breath. You’re not allergic to anything are you?”

He stalks over to his own body and frowns up at his own face. “Huh,” he says. “You’re not afraid of me. Zero fear response. You’re an idiot.”

Dick rolls Jason’s eyes. “Yeah yeah, you’ve very scary and edgy. Such an ambiguous anti-hero. Dear me, I hope he doesn’t snap one day. Etcetera.”

Jason shoulder-checks him (ineffectively) and storms over to where Tim and Steph are sending each other triggering images over text to see who will break first. Steph’s just sent Tim a picture of a happy family on vacation with the caption “not u lol” when Jason reaches them.

They stare at Jason blankly as he gets up in their personal space. They’re used to Dick being close to them so it doesn’t feel weird, but they know it’s JASON, so it IS weird. Jason grabs Steph-as-Tim’s arm and holds it for a moment. He grunts and releases it. He turns to Tim-in-Steph, an odd look on his face. He reaches for Tim’s arm but the movement seems to get away from him and he ends up grabbing Tim around the shoulders with one arm, holding him in close.

“What are you doing?” yelps Tim, struggling briefly.

“I have no idea,” says Jason, who seems equally baffled but isn’t letting go.

“Holy moly,” says Steph. “You two are tragic. Dick’s body needs a HUG, morons.”

Jason and Tim freeze. They simultaneously realise that this isn’t a strange new grappling move. This is a hug. Oh no they’re hugging. They don’t hug. They’re not huggers.

Dick snickers, coming over to view the scene. “I could have told you that,” he informs Jason.

“It’s not allergies?” says Jason, shuffling around to look at Dick without letting go of Tim. “Your body wanted a HUG? What are you, a toddler?”

“Hugs aren’t childish,” scolds Steph mildly, taking photos on her phone even though they will never capture the true awkwardness of a Tim-and-Jason hug. “Heaps of people need touch to feel good. Hugs, cuddles, patting a pet, whatever. Dick’s a hugger, you already knew that.”

“I knew he liked hugging, I didn’t know he needed it to live,” bites Jason, trying to appear nonchalant and cool while embracing Tim to his chest like a doll. “Why is this body hugging you? Steph, I mean. Why not just go for the closest person?”

Steph and Dick roll their eyes. “Jason, when was the last time you and I hugged?” Dick asks. Jason glowers.

Steph nods. “Dick and I hug all the time, dude. You two aren’t cuddly. That’s cool. Whatever. Tim lets me use him as a pillow at movie night so I’m happy. Dick’s body probably feels more comfortable with mine than the others here.”

“Plus, girls are so nice for hugs,” Dick adds. “So nice and soft. So snuggly and safe.”

That does it. Tim and Jason break apart and swiftly put eight feet of space between them. The incident is swiftly added to the Never To Be Spoken About Again list, which is growing longer by the day.

-_-

The end? To be continued? Who even knows.

#batman #red hood #jason todd #dick grayson #batfamily headcanons #bruce wayne #batfamily #nightwing #tim drake #red robin dc #stephanie brown #spoiler dc #bodyswap au #body swap #batman fanfiction #crack fic #asexual jason todd #sex positive jason todd #sexually ambiguous jason todd #awkward bruce wayne

[headcanonthings]

Bruce: So this is my first son, Dick and then we have my second Jason. Then we have Cass, Tim, and Duke. Then we have my youngest Damian. The Justice League: Bruce: Then we have the Steph and Barbara who aren't my kids but really are. The Justice League: Oh come on! Bruce: Then there's Harley, Jean-Paul, Helena and - The Justice League: OH COME ON !!!

#that awkward moment when you realize the guy you thought worked alone has the biggest family on the planet #incorrect quotes #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect justice league quotes #dcu #justice league #batfamily #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #cassandra cain #black bat #tim drake #red robin dc #duke thomas #the signal dc #damian wayne #robin #stephanie brown #spoiler dc #barbara gordon #oracle dc #harleen quinzel #harley quinn #jean paul valley

[inkedberries]

don't look at me i dont know what happened

this is DEFINITELY inspired from that one world's finest issue with clark posing as bruce's bodyguard so they can catch some kidnappers or whatever dfkgjlsd

these set of scans in particular

ref pic for brucie's pose in the first image

#listen LISTEN i feel it in my bones that bruce is an EXPERT at deflecting and diffusing awkward situations bc of #how often he attends parties and interacting with socialites and rich ppl #and that would mean that when he's batman and he's stuck in an awkward situation (not of his own making mind you) he just #he just CHOOSES to let it happen LMAOOO #that is funny to me #also i love the idea of bruce teasing and joking around with supes only when it's just the two of them #and when kal shares anecdotes to the other league members of batman's little jokes and stuff they just stare at him #world's finest #dc #clark kent #bruce wayne #superbat #my art #fanart

[harmleikurdraws]

My good boi just had his birthday so I decided to celebrate with an awkward family photo from another good boi we all love.

#awkward family photos #ace the bathound #bruce wayne #jason todd #cassandra cain #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #dc #dc universe #fan art

[frownyalfred]

imagine early-friendship Bruce and Clark having a spicy lunch together and Clark goes “oh wow, you must have a great spice tolerance!” and Bruce just deadpan replies “spice tolerance is achieved through repeated long term deadening of pain receptors in the mouth,” and Clark is like “uh huh…cool.”

two seconds later Bruce cracks a smile and drops the deadpan expression.

“I’m just fucking with you.”

and that’s when Clark realizes he can never trust a single word that comes out of his soon-to-be best friend’s mouth.

#thoughts on the treadmill #bruce wayne #batman #dc #superbat #clark kent #superman #I just love their early dynamic ok #they’re both so awkward

[vanillabean-97]

I feel like Battinson would thrive in a longer and bigger cape 🤔

#coz he sometimes looks so awkward just standing there like 🧍‍♂️ #my art #dc #batman #the batman 2022 #bruce wayne #battinson

[citizen-of-the-fandom]

the thing about fanfiction is that it can take the basic premise of 'bruce struggles with being a normal father and damian struggles with being a normal son' and make it funny instead of tragic:

damian: father, I have selected a motion picture for us to view together as a "bonding" activity

damian, internally: hell yeah I am going to get a good grade in being a son, something both normal to want and possible to achieve

bruce: what an excellent choice, son.

bruce, internally: hell yeah I am going to get a good grade in being a father, something both normal to want and possible to achieve

#batfam #damian wayne #bruce wayne #don't get me wrong it can get pretty tragic too #but the comics have that covered so. #awkward family bonding time it is

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 17 (Masterlist)

(Part 18)

@bruciemilf HE NEEDS TO BE A PARENT OKAY????

#battinson #bruce wayne #batman #the batman 2022 #the batman #batman 2022 #dc universe #gotham #soft bruce wayne #gotham city #only in gotham #gothamite #social media #social media au #give battinson a child 2k23 #babygirl bruce wayne #battinson needs a hug #cold cold cold cold #his love language is gift giving but he’s too awkward to reasonably communicate that #madeline pun master i don't make the rules #yes i do

[minimightymina]

Exactly how much of a bank did Bruce buy at the end of dawn of justice?

Did he buy the single Smallive town bank?

Did he buy one location out of a chain?

Did he buy the whole chain?

Did he bury Martha’s signal loan forgiveness deep in the papers of the bank “misplaced” in the takeover?

Did he bury it by forgiving multiple loans with the same criteria?

Did he forgive every bankruptcy?

Did he just say “congratulations, no more mortgage for you” to everyone?

Exactly how many lives where changed because of Bruce’s “my bad, pls like me” gift

#dc #bruce wayne #batman #superman #clark kent #batman v supeman: dawn of justice #buying a bank as an awkward apology #superbat

[raeuberprinzessin]

Dick, excitedly showing his newest little sister Marinette the Batcave: This is the Batcave! Overe there is the Batcomputer and here we sharpen our Batarangs. On this side are the Batbikes and if you follow this path you'll find the Batplane. And right here is the Batmobile! Isn't it amazing? We should totally take you on a joy ride with it, don't you agree? What do you say?

Marinette, slowly taking it all in: I feel like you were going for a theme with this ... Let me guess? Moody broody late-pubescent goth?

Alfred: Very well said, Miss Marinette.

Jason, peering at a stricken-looking Bruce: Well, I guess trying to show off how cool you are to your new daughter might not go as planned. Any contingencies, old man?

Tim: Going off of experience, it's having a moody brooding session in the dark cave. You know, like a late-pubescent goth.

Bruce, murmuring: I didn't even name most of these things, why am I getting attacked?

#maribat #maribat marinette dupain cheng #mlb x batman #mlb x dc #maribat bio dad bruce #maribat dick grayson #maribat alfred pennyworth #maribat jason todd #maribat tim drake #maribat bruce wayne #to the justice league batman might be this hyper competent one-person-army #but to his kids he's just their slightly awkward dad #and they roast him into oblivion #that's how they show their love to each other #no one else is allowed to say things like that about him #maribat incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Au where Danny gets deaged by a magical artifact in the GZ and gets lost in a different dimension with Cujo. While exploring Gotham as Phantom he decides to play up the little kid routine and use his puppy friend to do it.

At this point Danny had finally trained the pup and he actually listened to him. Needless to say there's a certain flock of bats and birds who keep pestering him at night. All he's trying to do is explore the city and play with his dog. Is that so bad?

Danny doesnt usually bother hiding from them. Not much point considering he shines like a spotlight in Gothams gloom anytime he's in his phantom form. Plus Cujo is glowy and green, so that doesn't help matters.

Danny usually runs them on a wild goose chase in the name of "Tag" before disappearing. He stole Batmans cape by phasing it off of him and he now uses it as a blanket at night (its surprisingly warm), he stole another one at Red Hoods request and gave it to him, he's set up play dates between Cujo and Harleys hyenas, he's pied Joker in the face, he's pet Penguins pet penguins right in front of him, he's been trapped in an elevator with Brucie Wayne for two hours, he's had a tea party with Catwomans cats and may have broken into her apartment to do it, he's kidnapped Red Robin and made him go to the park and play on the swings with him, he's gotten into actual fights with Robin and last but not least, he came up with the Puppy Paw of Approval.

---

Nightwing stared at the kid they had been chasing every other night for the last three months now, confused. "Whats the Puppy Paw of Approval?"

The kid moved the puppy, Cujo (which Jason finds hilarious) up in front of his face, holding him there by his armpits.

The dog was making the "no thoughts head empty" face with his tongue sticking out just a smidge. Dick was tempted to coo. "The Puppy Paw of Approval is an award! Arf!" The kid said in a higher pitched pretend voice.

"Its awarded to people we really really like! Arf!"

Nightwing gasped dramatically, playing along with the boy, "You really like me that much?"

"Of course!" The boy floated over to Dick and places one of the dogs paws on the man's chest. "Da da da daaa!" The kid sang, "You now have the Puppy Paw of Approval!"

The vigilante sniffled, "I will always cherish this! Thank you!"

The kid giggled and Cujo barked at him. The little green rottweiler panted up at him with a giants smile and his little nub tail wagging a mile and minute.

God, Nightwing couldn't wait for his newest little brother to join the family.

Dick was dismayed to learn he was actually the second person to get the PPA. The first being Tim, the third being Harley and the forth being Catwoman. Ivy was apparently salty about not getting one but the kid was scared of her for some reason.

Danny makes friends with lots of people throughout the city. Scarecrow learns of the bats recruitment attempts on this boy and decides to use the fear toxin on him. This has the unexpected outcome of making the child cry.

And then the whole city was out for his head.

#prompts #fanfiction prompts #danny phantom #dp x dc #danny fenton #batman #robin #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #nightwing #dick grayson #red hood #jason is having a blast #dp cujo #cujo #cujo is best boy #danny has won the heart of gotham #sorry if this is kinda awkward

[currant-owo]

Awkward meetings

Pretty much the same things happen as in canon, but Danny almost constantly bumps into Ra's in his time travel (where dc and dp can exist together or as separate/parallel alternate universes). After an indeterminate number of meetings, the contents of which I won't reveal, both came to an unspoken agreement to ignore each other no matter what.

Remarkably, the order of encounters for Ra's and Danny is chronologically confusing, as is their timeline relative to each other. How strong. No one knows at what segment of their meetings the other is. It's so damn confusing that Ra's and Danny keep logs of meetings, in a futile attempt to sort this shit out one day without potentially destabilizing the current time stream, the Flash's bullshit is more than enough, thanks.

And out of a desire to avoid all this headache, they most often just walk by and report their subjective meeting number. On rare occasions, they warn each other about how their next meeting might go, or simply ask the other to remind them of something.

Their awkward meetings/attempts to avoid prolonged interaction will look quite funny from the outside.

It seemed that the League always had its own "Cryptid". At truly random intervals (day, week, month, years), the same child quickly appeared in front of the Demon Head and just as quickly disappeared. Most often they exchanged some numbers, less often he uttered some phrases. Neither of them will even look at the other, eager to leave as soon as possible (the longer they are around, the higher the chance that something unpleasant will happen, strange, but together they often attract any kind of trouble from an earthquake to level threats end of the world).

#Jazz is really happy that Danny has started journaling his time travels #unaware that there is a second journal that has a series of awkward crossovers with a suspicious supposedly immortal guy #Both Ra's and Danny are glad that they avoided meeting with Bruce Wayne who is still training in the League #They've had enough of their twisted shit without the intervention of an overly curious detective #unknowingly with his warnings Danny is keeping Ra's away from creating darker timelines #oh no #it's too much like a homestuck #only their timelines are even more complicated #dp x dc #dc x dp #prompt #danny phandom #ra's al ghul #my post #dp x dc prompt #dc x dp prompt

[casthecorpse]

Quick doodle of Clark askin Bruce to join him to watch the game....

(yes i gave him a superman belt buckle)

#superbat #superman #batman #superbat art #awkward clark kent #bruce wayne #clark kent #bruce just say yes you know you want to

[harmleikurdraws]

I can imagine Bruce having a stack of pictures of his kids just in case and shows them proudly to everyone who even looks at his direction. Of coure, Clark always asks to see them, even if he knows them well by now.

#superbat #bruce wayne #clark kent #awkward family photos #dc #dc universe #fan art #batman #superman #cosy #batdad #batfam #batfamily

[danothan]

shoutout to superman for getting batman the movie he saw before his parents got killed for christmas

​items of note:

1. before this, clark was hoping to see bruce at the christmas party ("hope that won't keep you from the party, bruce..." "i'll be there, clark. wouldn't miss it for the world.") and now we see that it was bc he had a gift up his sleeve cape! speaking of,

2. superman's cape pockets!!

3. his awkward stance and hand wrenching as well, my god he is so uncomfortable over this

4. he definitely got that movie bc the mask reminded him of batman are you kidding me

5. despite this absolute blunder, bruce invites him over to his place for christmas anyway

6. this is the first time clark clarifies bruce as his friend in this issue (earlier, bruce says "superman? we're hardly friends, but perhaps we might be allies" and clark only has this to say: (“i don't approve of his tactics, but against luthor and the joker... we're on the same side" [all while the literal intro of this book reads "only here superman and batman could enjoy each other's friendship and share each other's secrets."])

7. bruce's bitter response as if this situation could not be any more awkward 😭 invite a guy over for the holidays after he accidentally resurfaces your trauma and he doesn't even have the courtesy to accept the invitation 😔

8. the gift-giving in this relationship is not one-sided:

#superman #clark kent #batman #bruce wayne #superbat #dc #world’s finest #danbles #this is so fucked up and funny and awkward and sweet and fucked up #thank you dave gibbons for this early christmas gift to myself #panels

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Jason, newly established crime lord known as the Red Hood, attends a meeting where the Batman gets dragged into the room halfway through, hopped up on the newest strain of cuddle pollen and about to be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

#jason did not sign up for this shit #he just wanted the traffickers to drop some stupid hints about where they stashed their cargo #he did not expect to have to rescue his quasi dad #and god dammit he’s not gonna cuddle his dad #he’s NOT #(he’s totally gonna cuddle his dad) #look they’re both very awkward about it #well at least until they fight and Jason loses the helmet probably #or not #nothing puts a pin in pit rage as much as seeing a family member suffer #but Jason is very salty about it the whole way throug #oh maybe have Bruce think he’s hallucinating #cuz you know I’m a sucker for that shit #prompts #batdad #jason todd #batfamily #batfam #dick crashing through the window and switching from violence to CUDDLES in .1 seconds flat #bruce wayne #dick grayson #robin #red hood #Batman #Jason and Bruce #fic #ideas #cuddle pollen